#like jfc the Big Event happened to BOTH of us not just you

[magpiefngrl]

2024 Book Review

In 2024 I read 80 books (including my current read); sort of average for me. My challenge this year was to 1. read the Vorkosigan saga, and 2. To read no (or very few) US authors besides Bujold, and I succeeded in both. The word I'd use to describe many of the books mentioned below is unusual. It wasn't intentional but a lot of these reads were weird (complimentary). I also reread a lot of books, such as CaPri (again!), Dark Rise/Heir, the first two novels of Lymond Chronicles and a great deal of KJ Charles romances.

The Vorkosigan Saga

A sci-fi space opera series of 16 novels plus several novellas, published from the 90s onwards. I read all of them, except one novella. Go me! It's a fantastic series and its reputation is well deserved. Some books were more exciting or to my taste than others, naturally, but they were all easy to read, well paced and well characterised. The stretch of books from Brothers in Arms to Civil Campaign was my fave. I tore through those novels in a few weeks. Mirror Dance, Memory and A Civil Campaign are some of my fave reads of the year.

9 other books that stood out

Vita Nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko. JFC. What a novel. What a mindfuck. I didn't know what was happening most of the time but it sure was compelling. The story was weird as fuck, incomprehensible at times, with trippy magic, full of body horror and a menacing mood and dark academia vibes, and it was unlike anything I've read. It's a fantasy but not a typical one; it resists defining and needs to be experienced.

The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera. The second most exciting book of the year. An unusual, mesmerising fantasy with incredible worldbuilding and lush prose.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Finally read this celebrated novel and it was nothing like I'd expected. Though, idk what I expected. Definitely a book that stays with you. I'm sure a lot of the references to the time period flew over my head. One to reread.

Faithful Place and The Secret Place by Tana French. Grouping these together as they feature the same characters. Tana French is a huge favourite of mine and I can't imagine reading a novel of hers that doesn't end on my fave-books-of-the-year list. Gorgeous prose and a deep dive into characters make her books less than typical murder mysteries.

Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski. An atmospheric, mesmerising read about young queer love, with beautiful, lyrical prose and a hefty dose of history. I loved the portrait of Poland in the 70s-80s.

The Will of the Many by James Islington. A fantasy novel I devoured within days. Some of its elements are very traditional fantasy (secret identity of main character, tough academy to attend, end of graduation big event to complete, Roman inspired architecture and names) but the worldbuilding with the Will as a measure of power and the Pyramids is unique and fascinating. This is a hefty 600+ page novel, but easy to read and briskly paced. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

The Vegetarian by Han Kang. A Kafkaesque novel, layered and deep, with an ambiguous ending. The kind of work that leaves one unsure, full of questions and barely-glimpsed thoughts like silent things swimming in dark water. I'm keen to read more from this author.

Dark Heir by CS Pacat. Last but not least is the sequel to Dark Rise. I enjoyed it a lot more than the first novel; and in fact, I immediately went back and reread Dark Rise and enjoyed that one more the second time round--and then I read Dark Heir again, just days after my first read. To say I'm gagging for the third novel is an understatement. This one got under my skin, guys.

KJC Sad War Boys reread

On a discord I used to belong to, some fans took all the characters KJC has created that used to be soldiers and ranked from least sad to most sad. I thought that was a perfect idea for a reread, and so I started with the Henchmen of Zenda (what a fun novel! And Jasper isn't much cut up about his army service) and moved on accordingly towards the one with the saddest war boy, which is also, as it happens, possibly my fave KJC romance.

Other Notable Reading Accomplishments

Finished The Witcher series! Hooray!

Finally read Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series, which I'd bought many years before. I can't say I loved the 3 main novels (though the worldbuilding was interesting) but I did enjoy the two novellas featuring a fab new ship: Stab Husband and Dragon Husband. I love these two so much. (The novellas are: Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders, and Of Charms, Ghosts and Grievances)

Read THREE new KJ Charles novels. We've been blessed this year.

I read 6 novels by Keigo Higashino, who writes murder mysteries unlike any I've read. Superbly plotted and always unusually structured.

Finally got around to reading my pal's (and former drarry author) YA novel, Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues, which was as delightful as I'd expected.

Some stats

I might have read 80 novels but not by 80 authors. I went over my spreadsheet and saw a lot of the same names popping up. I thought I'd make a count, so here goes: I read 19 books (novels and novellas) by Lois McMaster Bujold, 15 books by KJ Charles (mostly rereads), 6 by Keigo Higashino, 5 by Aliette de Bodard (plus a short story), and 5 by CS Pacat.

Onwards to 2025!

Previous years:

2015 2016 2019

first half of 2020 top 5 books of 2020

2021 2022 2023

[jancy-central]

💙 Hello, everyone, and welcome to an exciting Spotlight Saturday! 💜

Today we are doing something a little different… we are spotlighting an artist with amazing talent (who happens to create fantastic Jancy fanart):

@soniclion92 aka Kirsten!

After the cut is her Q&A (read it to get to know her better!) and below is some of her artwork. Run to her page to see it all because everything she does is so, so GOOD. 😍

(Fun fact: The first one is Kirsten’s favorite! The last two are our favorites here at JFC.)

NOW IT’S TIME FOR SOME BIG NEWS!

Starting January 1st, we here at Jancy Fanfic Central will be changing our name to….

✨ Jancy Central! ✨

We will still post about Jancy fanfic but we will be blogging/reblogging about anything and everything Jancy. This includes fanart, fics, analysis, spoilers, and whatever Jancy related fun you guys come up with!

(Spoilers will be under a cut and labeled as such so no worries if you want to remain spoiler free. We will not be reblogging spoilers since you can’t hide reblogs under a cut.)

Jancy Central will continue to be run by myself, @gnarly-love, and @twin-scars . If you’d like to join our team, please shoot us a message!

AND NOW…

MORE BIG NEWS!

To celebrate our new name, we will be holding 2 events in early 2024:

1. A fanart event, tentatively titled “We Love Jancy,” will run from February 11-14. Yes, we are ending the event on Valentine’s Day… it is Jancy, after all. 🥰

(Artists: more info, including prompts, coming soon!)

And…

2. Once our fanart event has ended, we will start our month long artist/writer collab! Meaning, we want to see all the fics inspired by the amazing fanart from our “We Love Jancy” event. We’d like to pair up writers with artists so they can create a joint masterpiece (fanart and fic). The artists can be as hands-on or as hands-off as they’d like in the process. They can say anything from “Write whatever you want!” to specifying rating guidelines, setting, etc. The only thing we ask is that the fics are Jancy centric.

We would like fics completed by March 20th as that’s the first day of Spring (new beginnings) and s5 will be bringing us new Jancy! So that gives writers a little over a month to write their fics… fics can be any length but we ask that they are at least a Drabble (100 words).

Fic writers, both new and experienced: Please be thinking about participating and sharing your talent! More info on this event will be coming soon…

Artists, as I said above, you can be as involved as you want… it’s up to you! We just ask permission to repost your art (with credit) for this event only. You can obviously also choose not to participate, ofc.

We are really excited here at Jancy Fanfic Central (soon Jancy Central!) for these two events that we hope will bringJancy shippers together to showcase all the amazing talent that lies within our community!

(If you’d like to help us run either event, please send us a message or ask. 😊)

Questions for @soniclion92:

🎨 Kirsten’s answers to our Q&A: 🖌️

1. I first got into fanart through the Sonic The Hedgehog series, I'd look up renders and try to draw them on paper. What drew me to the fandom was seeing other peoples drawings/interpretations of the characters I liked.

2. The fandoms I’ve made fanart for are: Sonic The Hedgehog, Five Nights at Freddy’s, Undertale, Steven Universe, South Park, Attack On Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Haikyuu!!, Seraph Of The End, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Yuri!!! On Ice, My Hero Academia, Hamilton, Heathers, Ben 10, The Dragon Prince, Miraculous Ladybug, The Legend Of Zelda, Ace Attorney, Stranger Things (there's probably more but these are the ones I can remember) I don’t do fanart for a lot of these fandoms anymore but sometimes I’ll do redraws of the old fanart for the sake of comparing my progress.

3. I’m not going to do ALL the fandoms but some of my favourite characters to draw overall are Chat Noir (Miraculous), Keith Kogane and Princess Allura (Voltron), Link (Zelda), Godot and Mia Fey (Ace Attorney), Rayla and Aaravos (The Dragon Prince) Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman (Attack On Titan) and, of course, Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers (Stranger Things)

4. My muse characters are pretty much the ones listed above, I always have to sneak my favourites in lmao

5. If I absolutely *have* to get a character in I always find a way to add them into the background or do a separate doodle with said character

6. I don’t think I have a preference, actually I enjoy drawing both equally.

7. Not really, my opinions are usually based on canon media.

8. I’ve made a few OC’s, they’re usually characters designed to fit in the media I like

9. Again, I’d be here all day if i listed 3 ships for every fandom so here’s a few of my favourites: Klance (Voltron), Marichat (Miraculous), Rayllum (The Dragon Prince), Miego and Klapollo (Ace Attorney), Arumika, Yumihisu and Levihan (Attack on Titan), Gwevin (Ben 10), Sidlink (Zelda), Silvamy (Sonic), Jancy and Byler (Stranger Things)

10. I tend not to draw pairings I don’t like, the closest to this Is when I used to do OC x Canon fanart requests on DeviantArt when I was like 12

11. I’d say the main genre of art I draw is ship art/fluffy art but every once in a while I love to do a horror/creepy piece

12. Not that I can remember but I’d love to do something like this in the future

13. It’s a mix of both

14. I'll draw almost anything in terms of rating but whether I'm comfortable enough to post it is another story - the only ‘nsfw’ stuff I've actually posted is gore but even then it's been pretty mild.

15. I do use warnings bc i don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I feel like it's important to tag the usual stuff like gore, nsfw in general, any sensitive topics like abuse etc. I don't think I've had to add a warning that could be considered strange before though.

16. I don't use anything like headers or previews tbh I just post the drawings with a caption and call it a day

17. I don't title my art for the simple reason that I cannot come up with names for the life of me. The filenames of my drawings are usually just a random jumble of words or letters

18. Most of my inspiration comes from browsing random poses/references, listening to music, watching tv and movies

19. I try to get the idea sketched out as soon as I can but if not I'll just make a note of it in my notes app

20. Definitely!

21. Yes, it's usually stuff like AUs where I've gotten really invested in the idea and want to create as much of that idea as I can

22. No, the closest thing to these events is a week event for ships/characters. I don't do much of these bc I often end up procrastinating and leaving it to the last minute and then I end up stressing myself out trying to finish it in time

23. The main sites I post to are Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter. Occasionally i'll post before and afters to my tiktok account and once in a blue moon i may even post to my old DeviantArt account

24. Nope, no betas here I'm afraid.

25. I love listening to music while drawing, sometimes it'll be a character/ship themed playlist and sometimes it's just any music that I'm into at that moment.

[quependeja]

.

[akajulester]

further thoughts on Higurashi Gou/Sotsu (spoilers for Higurashi and Umineko ep3)

warning: long rant incoming haha

I think my two biggest problems with these seasons is how they focused way more on the supernatural/magic elements of the When They Cry franchise and less on the original Higurashi’s emphasis on natural explanations, and how the characters were completely devoid of the life they had in the original.

I’ve only just started getting into Umineko and I understand it also leaves a lot of room for a non-magical explanation, but you can’t deny it focuses way more on magic than Higurashi ever did.

The thing I found most interesting when I first watched Higurashi was how the mystery had a very human and realistic explanation. While a mystical divine curse is cool, the whole plot being the result of a human character taking advantage of a fictional parasite and medicine to essentially create the mystical divine curse is far more compelling - the audience is allowed to piece together the mystery along with the characters and isn’t shut down by “a wizard did it.”

And that isn’t to say Higurashi is completely devoid of magic or the divine. Hanyuu is some kind of mystical deity who gave Rika a supernatural power (looping) and is able to manifest in the real world and directly affect the course of events (such as making Takano miss her shot). Higurashi is just a perfect blend of supernatural and more realistic storytelling.

Gou and Sotsu, on the other hand, went much harder on the supernatural/magic aspect seen in Umineko. Not only is it a worse magic vs human mystery than Umineko, it’s just completely different from what Higurashi is at its core. The complex, interweaving mystery that at first seems unsolvable but later makes sense was replaced with a much simpler “whodunnit” where the answers were obvious, especially after Satoko was revealed to be the second looper. The introduction of straight-up magic and powerful witch entities dumbs down the story, in a sense.

To be fair, Gou and Sotsu do have a human explanation as well, specifically in the vein of the human explanations seen in Umineko. Just as Eva-Beatrice in Episode 3 can be interpreted as a personification of Eva going crazy and murdering her family, Rika and Satoko’s big magical-girl fight could be interpreted as a metaphor for their fight. However, this rings a little hollow when the last episode essentially says “nah, they definitely turned into Bernkastel and Lambdadelta.” It feels like there’s almost no room for a true human explanation.

The other thing I found most compelling about Higurashi is the characters, more specifically how they interacted with each other and felt like very real people. I want to read the sound novels at some point mainly because I’ve heard the anime didn’t fully do the characters justice by cutting out small but important moments. Mion and Shion especially were amazing, their dynamic as twins was probably one of the best I’ve ever seen in storytelling. Also, the main message of Higurashi is literally about the power of friendship, and it portrays it in such an amazing way you forget the sentiment is a bit cheesy.

And yet, Gou/Sotsu ignored every single character who wasn’t Rika or Satoko (except maybe Hanyuu and Eua). While I can understand the decision to focus on them since the only point of the show was apparently to set up Bernkastel and Lambdadelta, it actually makes them feel more hollow and lifeless, to me at least.

Keiichi’s lack of presence was especially baffling in this regard. He was arguably the main reason Rika was able to break out of the loops at all, as he helped inspire her with the idea a miracle could happen if their entire group of friends worked together. And with Satoko, he became her big brother figure! The fact that Gou/Sotsu not only push their relationship off to the wayside but also have Satoko get Keiichi murdered in horrifically brutal ways AND purposely inject him with Hinamizawa Syndrome without any shred of remorse or guilt is disgusting. Are you seriously telling me Satoko had a massive internal struggle over taking advantage of Teppei (y’know, the guy who abused her and her brother and severely traumatized them), but felt absolutely nothing over torturing Keiichi, the boy who she knows has fought to save her from said abusive uncle in multiple worlds and would literally kill for her??? Wtf???

The same thing goes for the almost non-existence of Shion in Gou/Sotsu. Shion also has a very strong relationship with Satoko (except for the worlds where she goes crazy and brutally murders her lmao) and has ALSO threatened to kill that abusive uncle for hurting Satoko, something Satoko would know full well after watching all of Rika’s loops. It’s reasonable Satoko would have more ambiguous feelings about Shion (since, again, Shion has killed her in Watanagashi arcs), but I find it bizarre she would be this willing to brutally murder, torture, and directly cause events leading others to murder/torture her surrogate big sister and surrogate big brother.

The whole story in general is baffling when you consider Satoko’s character. Are we seriously supposed to believe her drifting apart from a close friend is somehow more traumatic to her than the isolation and exclusion she experienced from her entire town and the literal abuse she went through from her aunt and uncle? You can’t even really use the “oh the town didn’t actually want to persecute her family tho” argument because that doesn’t negate Satoko’s experience of living through it. It’s especially dumb when you consider Gou/Sotsu somehow make Satoko’s argument “I don’t wanna study waaahhhhh” as if it makes any sense when you know these characters.

Don’t even get me started on how nobody even reacts to Satoko’s bullshit. The original Higurashi had characters sometimes remember past arcs/worlds, and Gou explicitly stated Satoko’s loops meant characters would remember even more. And yet, all that happens is Takano and Teppei reforming. What??? I expected the ending to involve Keiichi, Rena, Mion, and Shion realizing what Satoko had done to them and getting rightfully angry with Rika over what Satoko did to all of them. The show should’ve ended with the group cutting her off for being so fucking awful to them. Jfc...

In the end, I think Gou was fine and Tatariakashi-hen in Sotsu was cool, but this show just felt so empty compared to the original Higurashi and Umineko. Both stories are focused on the CHARACTERS, and while there are main characters in both who get more focus than the rest of the cast, every single character’s interactions with each other are vital to what makes their stories compelling. Dropping all of that to hone in on 2 specific characters actually robs even those characters of their depth and vividness.

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[spockandawe]

Hi.....if you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite books? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

This is an interesting question, and a difficult one! Which is why I let it steep for a few days while I was in a bookbinding fugue, haha XD

I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer it, because my level of fondness is highly dependent on how recently I read a book/how many times I’ve reread it, with an optional nostalgia modifier if something made a huge impression in my youth. And when I’m picking favorites, as the number of potential [thing] expands, the more I end up dithering and fretting that I’m forgetting something HUGE as I choose. So rather than a selection of top ten, I’ll just run down through some of my favorites! I’ll split it as five cnovels (recent reads, current genre hyperfixation) and five more conventional english-language novel (realistically, probably more like series, unless a standalone book occurs to me), and I’m not going to rank the conventional novels.

SO. Regular novels first. There’s a heavy recently-read/frequently-reread element going on in here. 

The Imperial Radch trilogy, by Ann Leckie. Okay, I am a sucker for a nonhuman protagonist, which is going to pop up in at least two other entries. And I’m also a sucker for themes of what can be perceived about a person externally versus their internal world, and Breq delivers like WHOA. She has SO MUCH going on in her head, and even though we’re in there with her, she still hides lots of her emotions from us. And characters like Seivarden hit me in character development buttons that I’m a sucker for, and the whole idea of consciousness being split across multiple bodies is DELICIOUS to me. Also... love me a sentient spaceship. ‘The Ship Who X’ series by Anne McCaffrey isn’t going to make this list, but I also love it a lot. (also, a universe of ‘she’s made me realized how STARVED i was for that degree of representation in certain genres that i love a lot, but don’t often see myself in as often as i might like)

The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells. Another nonhuman, sometimes-human-passing protagonist! Another one processing MASSIVE trauma of a sort that I, the human reader, have to slow down a lot and try to comprehend from an extremely different life experience! I like that a lot, it really forces me to LINGER on the nature of what a character is feeling. And oh my god, Murderbot’s voice is one of my favorite pov voices of all time. And watching it work (or go hogwild on its own asdfdgd) is absolutely delightful. I love literally everything about this series, except what happened with Miki. Other than that? Flawless.

The Books Of The Raksura, by Martha Wells. Martha Wells is a DELIGHT, y’all. Also! Another heavily-traumatized, nonhuman protagonist! And this time, like... It’s a fantasy world with huge amounts of sentient species, and the protagonist grew up away from his people, who are basically a bunch of feral homesteaders (LOVE THAT), and is trying to figure out how to reintegrate into their societal structures as an adult. That desperate desire to belong and feeling of discomfort and not-fitting-in, and the connections he makes and the way he DOES find a way to fit... like if u crey every time. Also, as far as we’re shown, it’s a cheerfully bisexual, polyamorous society, and *grabby hands*

Discworld, by Terry Pratchett. God, what do I even say about this series. It was a PARADIGM SHIFT. It’s bitingly funny, and also just plain biting, and full of huge varieties of interesting stories, set in a fascinating world, with a series of protagonists who I love too much for words. Vimes! The witches! Moist!!! They’re all so WONDERFUL. I still haven’t read the last book in the series yet, because then it will be Over Forever, and I can’t deal. This one is heavily nostalgia-tinted, but also, I stand by it.

The Belgariad/Mallorean, by David Eddings. Okay. Also very nostalgia, and the choice I can justify the least. But these books CLICKED with me. I’m afraid to reread them, because I’ve been wallowing in queer fiction for so long I’m worried about what the compulsory heterosexuality will feel like, and I know both series are very... episodic, in a way that isn’t necessarily great literature. But I dunno! Feels good, man. It’s high fantasy with a magical system I like, segmented worldbuilding of a sort that isn’t necessarily WELL-MADE, but it’s like... comfortable and easy. And something about the style and the character voices just clicks with me. I have no idea how well these hold up in the present day, but I do love them, and I’ve been planning to reread at least The Redemption Of Althalus by the same author as a standalone before I commit to a 12-book rereading of this universe, but.... I like em XD

--

Cnovels! I think I can rank these, so let’s go for it.

Fifth favorite: The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish :B Look, it’s ridiculous. It’s a transmigration story where the lead enters this fictional universe in the body of a fish, where he is adopted by a prince who eventually falls in love with him, and YES IT IS TAGGED MPREG, BUT HOLD ON A MOMENT-- I don’t know! I came here to point and laugh, but I’m honestly having such a good time right now. It’s really cute! And sweet! The main character is delightful, and the love interest is that particular flavor of semi-socialized upper-class young man, where like, can he do court politics? yes. can he politely express his affections for the main character? uh....... less so. It’s a really fun read, and I felt very sincere emotions about this prince who is passionately, deeply in love with his pet fish!

Fourth favorite: Mmmmmm, Mo Dao Zu Shi, I think. I struggle here, because it is NOT an easy book to read or show to watch, but having consumed the story, I love it to PIECES. I know a big draw for me is the protagonist, specifically, and his relationships to the people around him. And the more I cared about him, the more I wound up caring about the people around him, who I’d kind of neglected before, if that makes sense? It’s a story that really rewards some good old pondering. I didn’t care that much about Lan Xichen, but then I started thinking about how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji relate to Lan Xichen, and then oh no, I care SO MUCH about his emotions, and now I’m thinking more deeply about how Lan Xichen relates to Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue-- It does lose points in this ranking because it IS hard to get into, and I would struggle to keep everyone straight even more if I didn’t have the show visuals to lean on, but it is still story I enjoyed VERY much.

Third favorite: Erha, but I feel REALLY, REALLY BAD that I can’t fit Yuwu on this list too, and I just want to loop them together. It’s time travel fixit fic, but it’s the book! Yes????? I love this. I love the striking character growth we get to see, and the changing perception of the world as the main character relives through events he already experienced and sees things in a new light, and I adore how Mo Ran’s growing guilt goes hand in hand with his growing love. And Meatbun in general... like, my god. I haven’t read another author who’s able to yank me through emotional whiplash so hard and fast. She makes me hoot with laughter one moment and then burst into tears the next. It’s absolutely wild. I love mxtx, and I think svsss/tgcf are gentler entry points into the genre and deal with lighter themes, but meatbun is seriously an UNBELIEVABLE writer if you can deal with the darker topics she covers.

Second favorite: The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System :V Look, I love it. I just love it. I love, again, characters dealing with the aftereffects of old trauma, plus I do also love seeing NEW trauma piled on top of it. I love having a main character with emotional dysregulation issues who doesn’t necessarily make good decisions, but doesn’t just leave me thinking ‘jfc what an asshole’, and I think that’s a really hard balance for an author to strike, especially without us getting direct pov. I love themes of being wanted and insecurity about being wanted, which is Luo Binghe’s major, major damage. And this is my first transmigration story I ever read, and the contrast between a main character who read the novel telling us about what’s totally going to happen versus the ground shifting under his feet is INCREDIBLY delightful to me. I’ve read other transmigration stories I enjoyed, but none that got my attention quite as much as this one.

First favorite: Tian Guan Ci Fu ;u; It’s so good. It’s so well-made! It’s so LONG, and it meanders, but also, I would scream if anyone tried to trim anything out of it. I am here a lot for the ship, honestly, but I also find the plot themes VERY interesting. I am very much here for reading about characters trying to process old trauma that’s been dredged up by new events, and also very here for the themes about how characters either pass their traumas along to the next generation, or try to shield the next generation from taking the same kind of damage (see: mdzs). And I’m also very much into tempering stories about pain with like... memories of kindness, and small acts of kindness repaid with an outpouring of devotion (see: svsss). But the craftsmanship in this book is just... DIVINE. I’m always reluctant to start rereading this one, because I have a terrible time stopping. There’s nothing about this book that I don’t like.

[period-dramallama]

Spanish Princess episode 4 thoughts

In chronological order. With extra swearing!

WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH AND THERE’S STILL A FUCKTON OF EVENTS THAT HAVEN’T HAPPENED YET AHHHH

-so we open with a voice we’ve never heard before and no visuals on this new person and then Bessie addresses the speaker as Anne so the viewer will automatically think Anne Boleyn, but then it’s Anne Hastings? I’m a history nerd and i was so confused i had to rewind. That’s bad direction/editing, imo. Was it really too hard to film Anne’s lips moving?

-”the blasted yew tree in the gardens” blasted as in by lightning, or as in he wanted to say bloody but can’t because his wife is there and she’s eight?

-”that’s a terrible idea” Catherine that is not how you manipulate Henry! You should be like “but if you make wolsey chancellor :( and archbishop :( he will be so :( overworked :( and it wouldn’t be good for his health :( he has enough to do :( and as he’s archbishop of york :( why shouldn’t he be loyal to you :( in York :)”

-COCKBLOCKED

-something darkly funny about archibald pulling on his clothes in the background like his main concern is not dying naked

-look i love meg but c’mon the rules did stress she’s regent UNTIL she marries like she knew that! it’s not like they hid it in the small print!

-also if you’re having sex on the sly, post guards on your door! with halberds and shit. Preferably Douglas men, so they’ll be less likely to gossip. There should be guards on the doors anyway, that’s how royal palaces work. (Granted, the whole Rizzio situation...)

-Don’t write to catherine, write to a functioning human brain. Wolsey, More, YOUR BROTHER*

*alright, semi-functioning human brain.

- bit rich to blame henry for not helping when you didn’t ask him and went to his wife behind his back instead. Sure, he should have helped anyway, but she could have been smarter about it

-”an army coming in peace, how do I show that?” Never heard of a flag of truce, Henry? Also, there was something in the Borgias about holding a spear that represents invasion

-”she risks your health” bish she said she wanted an army not KoA in preggo armour again

-Compton’s less of a weirdo in this episode. Inconsistency, or maybe he’s a bit more normal with Maggie because they’re now at ease with each other’s company? Yeah no it’s inconsistency isn’t it.

-Thomas More looks so done with everyone’s shit. Me too. I hope he has no more stupid lines, but just looks bored in the background of every single scene. and occasionally the camera cuts to him for a good “i’m surrounded by idiots” face.

-”finer minds than many men I know” yeah but that’s a low bar in this show, everyone’s on stupid pills. Also Wolsey and More were at least cordial IRL. There was mutual respect between the two, even tho they didn’t agree politically all the time. Then again, Wolsey is evil in this ‘verse, and the real TM was an ally of the queen, so...i guess they can death glare now.

-”I would have thought court politics no longer surprised you” “tell the scriptwriters that.”

-”you are too good for us all” just because someone loves their kids and thinks toadying is gross, it doesn’t make them superior lmao. It’s called being normal.

-Maggie Pole: ugh the court is full of schemers and manipulators they’re all disgusting

also Maggie: *manipulates Compton’s emotions, albeit for partly selfless reasons*

-like I get it, I like that she’s using her brain, she has good reasons for the scheme even though it’s dishonest, I get that she wants to break up her betrothal as well, but she could be less black-and-white in her view of court politics.  It feels like whiplash when both scenes are in the same episode. 

-the court feels less depopulated this episode. That’s one good thing. It feels like an actual institution.

-Georgie Henley’s poor back... she is the saving grace of this episode. She can do so much with just her facial expressions. 

-”I will not be my sister” bold of you to think you can ever be as cool as your sister, Catherine.

-Maggie you were doing so well at not wearing that stupid blue hood thingy. Bring back the halfway decent green one.

-”Wolsey is shameless in his machinations” look I can forgive the dudes being rude about Wolsey- they’re the king’s BFFs, they can be as rude as they like. You, otoh, Maggie, are on thin fucking ice. Don’t say that, at normal volume, at the dinner table. Where Wolsey’s like two seats away from you!

-Thomas More whispering like he’s David Attenborough in a nature documentary. At least he knows to keep his fucking voice down.

-”it’s late you should go home,” Ah, yes, Tudor London. Famous for being a place where a woman could safely travel through pitch black streets all on her own while wearing extremely expensive clothes and jewellery. You mean to tell me she can’t sleepover on banquet night? FFS.

-”we can’t be together” someone tell this couple that they can hang out without arguing or having sex. Play chess. Play cards. Play hungry hungry hippos, i don’t care.

-oh look catherine’s practical for 2 hot seconds.

-”you bog dwelling fuckers” THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE EPISODE’S TITLE, WE WERE MCROBBED!

-she-wolf is not a compliment! She’d be offended! Call her a lioness if you want to praise her...y’know because the lion is England’s emblem??

-”Sir Compton” this is literally a mistake bad fanfic writers make.

-Maggie being cunning! Yay! I would never see that coming bc she’s a dumbass for the other 23 hours of the day.

-Bessie already being Henry’s mistress but she still genuinely helps and supports Catherine in her confinement and during the birth and looks genuinely stressed when things go wrong, when she could just be downstairs dancing and having fun with Henry like Anne Hastings is...Bessie I love you ditch Henry and elope with me instead

-DROP THE FLAMING TORCH LINA JFC

-do you have a clue how flammable tudor buildings are? Don’t run with it like it’s the fucking Olympics.

-So the heir is so important Catherine has to go into confinement, but you don’t keep midwives 24/7 in her chamber, on standby? 

-”Prince Charles has a ring to it” I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

-Bessie’s face when the baby’s a girl...comedy gold.

-”I’ll speak with someone who sees sense” you’ll be looking a long time, Meg

-the issue should be Compton kissing a married noblewoman. Nobody would give a flying fuck if it was a married washerwoman.

-’flowers of England’ :) yes they are :)

-”if i had 100 men with a heart like yours I could have conquered the world” that’s actually an excellent pick-up line you DILF now use it on someone who deserves it

-Tourette’s syndrome confirmed!

-dirty baby nappies go in a laundry basket you freaks

-why is the Queen of England carrying washing to a laundry? why why why why?

-also the king of england would not have sex in a laundry. Looks dark, damp, cold, probably smells. AND IT WOULD BE FULL OF WASHERWOMEN AT ALL TIMES. Laundry in those days was a big chore, especially for a laundry that has to wash the entire court’s fancy clothes. You could have just had them banging outside in the grounds where there’s pretty flowers and green grass and then catherine of aragon could turn the corner and spot them. He doesn’t have to hide his adultery, he can have bessie brought to his rooms as usual. 

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[meetmeatthecoda]

It certainly would be asking too much of the show (since, apparently, a canon Liz, even as a certified profiler she is, just has to fall for Tom's manipulations time after time again, ugh), but, please, consider this as an AU scenario that would get rid of Tom once and for good and improve relationship between Liz and Red:

In the 2.19, if Liz somehow came back to Tom's warehouse earlier – either with Caul or by agreeing to split with him so he could make a copy of the Fulcrum, just in case – when Red hasn't come to after his surgery yet and, therefore, had an opportunity to have a brief respite from all the turmoil of that day's events and sort through her feelings as she waited anxiously for Red to wake up (because you just know she would be there, not in any other part of the warehouse, not with Tom, but by Red's side, if things went a little differently like that), she would realize whom she truly loves – Tom or Red – because the panic she felt back when Zamani stabbed Tom pales considerably in comparison to the one she felt when she saw Red get shot (that "NO!" of hers will haunt my dreams, I'm telling you... if I didn't know already, when I was watching this episode, that Liz loves Red – Braxton and Kings episodes have good enough evidences of that – this "No!" scream of hers would certainly be that moment that would make me go "Yup, she's in love with him"), the terror she felt in the car and then at the first warehouse – when she saw the surgeon dead – at the though of losing Red, the pang in her heart when Nick updated her on his condition and legitimately told her that there was a bullet-turned-land-mine in his chest, fear and frustration she felt when Nick kept stalling time instead of helping Red and anxiety and bone-deep need to get back to Red's side as soon as possible mixed with fear that she would come back only to find out that he was no longer there she felt while she was away from the warehouse. Having had enough time to come to this startling realization and to calm down (both after this realization and in general) by the time Red comes to, she would tell him, when he tried to explain to her the situation with Tom (because you know he would, as soon as he saw her), that they certainly need to talk about that but later and for now she just wants him to focus on getting better.

And – once she terminated the immediate threat to Red's life by showing the Director the Fulcrum and, as a result, they could finally move him to a proper hospital and didn't need the warehouse anymore – Liz would finally end things with Tom for good and, instead of conspiring with him to find out the answers she seeks, she would spend that time by Red's side, helping him through his recovery in whatever way she can – from keeping him company at the hospital to taking walks with him as a part of his physiotherapy – and strategically avoiding talking about Tom and her mother and anything that has to do with their shared past until she's certain that Red is back to normal.

I can easily imagine her fretting over him more than is necessary simply because she loves him – as she finally admitted to herself but yet to admit to him – and nearly lost him and Red getting a little... overwhelmed because of it – especially, considering the fact that his last clear memory before he woke up after the surgery to her standing over him with genuine concern and breathtaking relief written all over her face is her telling him (or, rather, yelling at him) that she wants it (as in their relationship) to stop right that instant – and wondering quietly as to what could possibly make her change her mind so drastically (not that he minds) but coming up blank because he can't possibly fathom the possibility that she might love him but loving the attention he gets from her nevertheless and trying to enjoy it as much as possible while it lasts because he's certain that she'll eventually go back to how she treated him before.

I can also imagine Liz trying to convince Red to take it easy when he gets discharged from the hospital while he insists that he's right as rain and wants to go straight back to his work as both the Concierge of Crime and FBI's CI as if nothing had happened even though he struggles to catch his breath after as much physical activity as a walk in the park near the hospital and grimaces each time he moves the wrong way or takes too harsh of a breath and tries to sit down or lean against something for support as much as possible and Liz actually sees all that, no matter how good Red thinks he is at keeping his discomfort and clearly far from ideal state of health from her.

Also, Liz freaking out when Dembe informs her – because she made him promise that he would let her know about everything that happens to Red, especially if he makes big or possibly life-threatening decisions, but also because Dembe doesn't like that idea, either, and secretly hopes that Elizabeth will make Red reconsider it – that Red wants to fly to Boston and rushes to reprimand him because "no sane person would get on a plane just five days after being shot in the chest and getting his lung damaged, Red, and frankly I'm surprised I even have to tell you that!" (okay, maybe I'm projecting a little with this last one, because it honestly freaked me out a little when I was watching Quon Zhang, because he certainly shouldn't have been flying for at least a couple of weeks after being shot)

Wow, anon!! 🤯 What a beautiful essay of an ask!! 😍 I love, love, love basically any scenario that involves less T*m & MORE RED & LIZ enjoying a good relationship for once... so this was quite a joy to read!! It's so funny how you can change the one small detail of Liz just having some time to think & - from there - logically spin a much more lovely Lizzington story than anything we ever got on screen... and by "funny", I naturally mean "ridiculous", bc if wonderful fans like you can do it, TPTB should have been more than capable, jfc. BUT I love every detail of this, anon, including but not limited to: Liz analyzing her feelings like the profiler she was supposed to be & realizing both that she cares deeply for Red AND the first second he awakens after life-saving surgery might not be the best time to work through all their drama. Past that, I adore the idea of Liz ignoring their issues while Red gets better, fretting so affectionately over him that Red is thoroughly confused but intensely grateful, vehemently opposing him going back to work, finally opening her eyes enough to observe how Red manages to hide his suffering from her, & - last but not least - absolutely flipping her shit over Red wanting to fly 4 seconds after being shot cause, let's face it, you're right, anon - that shit's just not realistic 😂 Ugh, what a lovely & relatable AU scenario you gave us here, anon, thank you so much for sharing!! 🥰 Much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

[ahiddenpath]

Digimon Adventure 2020 Ep 20 Reaction

HOLY CRAP MY DUDES, people gonna be RILED about this one!  

So, like, don’t spoil yourself!  Watch the ep first, then come back!  Spoilers below the cut!

I’m exhausted, this ep didn’t let up!  Ooooof.

So first, it me, so you know I’mma talk abou Sora and Koushiro vibin’ in the park.  We saw that Sora does still have a seemingly traditional, strict mom.  And when asked if his parents scolded him for vanishing for three days (NONE OF THESE PARENTS CALLED THE COPS?!), Koushiro looked aside and said, “Well...  My house is...”

AND THEN HE STOPPED, HOW DARE YOU, I AM BESIDE MYSELF.

So, like, are his parents never home?  Did he maybe never get adopted?!  That doesn’t make sense, though- he said he lives in Taichi’s apartment complex...  Maybe he’s in foster care, and his family doesn’t keep tabs on him???  Or maybe his relationship with his parents is already so strained and distant that they didn’t find it odd that he didn’t talk to them for three days?  Let’s be real, the parents don’t seem to mind kids vanishing for three days that much, so that could be it, according to this show’s logic...  

(“Where are the parents”/ “Kids getting away with weird stuff” is a highly common children’s entertainment occurrence.  Real kids don’t have the agency/ability to up and vanish for adventures for days at a time (one hopes), and kid’s media gives children viewers characters their age with agency, because that’s what kiddos want to see.  So, like, while we’re hard on parents in children’s entertainment for objectively being terrible parents, as far as concern for the welfare of their kids...  It’s kind of a product of the genre.  Still, one wishes it was handled more like 02, with the kids covering for each other when Digital World stuff demanded their attention).

Koushiro might not even have the adoption backstory in the reboot, but I assume he will to some degree, just based on other backgrounds being...  More or less similar, so far, at least from what we’ve seen/hinted at (Sora’s traditional mother in this ep, Jyou mentioning the academic pressure in his family, Mimi being spoiled, etc).

AND SORA WAS EXTRA SPECIAL CUTE IN THIS EP, THAT ONE FRAME OF HER, UGHHHHH they gave her the warmest expressions, and I am so here for it.

So I’m wondering if Koushiro and the others will now handle international Network issues that Koushiro mentioned while Taichi and Yamato handle Digital World events?  I do kind of like the kids divvying up tasks and functioning as a team in a different way, but...  This is already the Taichi and Yamato show, can we...  Not shove the other kids to a different task?  We’ll see what happens.

Now, meanwhile, Yams has to rescue his bro!  Velgrmon stole Takeru away right after Yamato found him.  

(Hræsvelgr is a jötunn in Norse mythology.  He’s like...  Sort of like an eagle?  And he makes the wind.  Basically, some more Norse nods for ya).

Velgrmon was pretty dope!  And scary!  And I’m not super clear on how the kids followed him into the sky- can Metalgreymon... fly???  But, uh, they did!  And Yamato ran across Metalgremon’s chain like an absolute madlad, jfc!

It was so sweet how Weregarurumon protected Yamato while he tried to reach Takeru, ahhhhh!  The ep used a lot of hand/reaching out imagery, which is always an easy way to elicit an emotional reaction.

Ultimately, they get Takeru out, and then recall that, “Oh, right, we cannot fly,” and they plummet to the ground, but they’re fine, because the kids are indestructible in the reboot-  EXCEPT FOR MAXIMUM EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.

Poor Takeru freaks out when he sees Onii-chan about to get wrecked, and here’s where I don’t understand Devimon’s logic-  He brought a Chosen to the Digital World, knowing he held his partner captive...  And there’s no better way to make a partner digimon rally than seeing their kiddo in danger.  

Angemon busts free and appears to save the day as Takeru is finally allowed a second phrase (we’re up to Onii-chan and STOP!).  It’s evocative of Angemon’s first appearance in Adventure, right down to everyone gasping at the point of light, the dropping feathers, and Angemon dissolving again, because THIS SMALL BABY CHILD HASN’T HAD A BAD ENOUGH DAY ALREADY, JFC REBOOT.

But Angemon had some... damage?  Corrupted data?  On his arm.  And just when you think Takeru will pick up his digitama and start over with a digimon who is now his partner, starting a new life with him...  

SIKE!  SOME JERK SWIPED THE DIGITAMA!!!  AND THEN DEVIMON IS ALL LIKE, “HAHAHA!  NOW YOU WILL BE REBORN IN MY POWER!”  SO I GUESS HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING?!?!?!

HOW!  DARE!  YOU!

I can’t, this is too much!  How dare you, he’s an actual baby!  Ugh.

AND THEN KOUSHIRO TALKED ABOUT KABUTERIMON, “He teaches me jokes, but I don’t understand half of it,” ughhhhhhh, ugghhhhh, I love you both.

So basically, after a string of eps with not much more than kind of... repetitive battles and one big reveal, this ep didn’t let up for a second.  Poor Takeru!  Lord!  

I hope they stop doing him dirty, LET’S GO SAVE OUR BAT HAMSTER!

[rogerbikes]

8 more days until my husband graduates from bootcamp.

I cannot believe I survived almost 8 weeks without him. Was I alone in it? No. But I need to honestly stop knocking myself of the credit I deserve.

Still remember the card ride we were on when he was complaining about how dead end his job was and how better off we’d be financially if he had joined the Navy.

We were brand new parents. Hit with a fucking pandemic, living in a shit hole and feeling like shit holes. Our daughter was five months old. I had no job and we didn’t know what the next couple months were going to look like. Let alone the next couple YEARS. It was scary, dark and sometimes felt hopeless.

I remember being at home all day with the baby while he worked. Breastfeeding, watching TV, entertaining the baby and waiting for him to come back. Not knowing when things were going to change or how.

“Then why don’t you just do it?” I said. And from that moment we had a plan. I can’t believe everything started from a simple conversation and now we are at the end of the hardest part. Not only that, but we have ANOTHER child on the way.

I seldom take the time to give myself slack or credit or really admire the life I have. The things I do. I’m always concerned with not doing ENOUGH.

My husband left in May and since then I’ve successfully weaned our impossible daughter off breastfeeding. Gotten her on a schedule. Managed to feed, change and entertain her for weeks. I’m growing a human. I’ve moved out of our apartment. Dealt with the emotional turmoil that is pregnancy and being totally cut off from your spouse. I’ve done a lot and honestly I didn’t let it destroy me.

I’ve had some really great times through all of this. Like my daughters first birthday and birthday party. Watching her grow, become more interactive, silly, independent. Going to a carnival for the first time in forever. Going to the lake. Dying my hair. Going to the museum. My anatomy scan of the baby. The tiring walks we take in the mornings before nap time. The desperate nap time car rides. Going to the YMCA for swim time. I’ve done my best to enjoy all the little things. Despite it all. Even the joy of getting a letter from my husband can make my day.

But here we are almost at the fucking end! I’ll finally have a little bit of sanity back. And hopefully some more information about the future.

I’ve really had to push myself so much these past few weeks. In a way I think it was totally healthy for me to have this time alone. SO much has happened the past two years it’s insane. I never got to digest any of it. The thing about having kids is, I don’t think you ever do. Everything is go go go until those really big moments happen where it all kind of hits you. Like when the Princess at her birthday party was “crowning” her an official princess and the fact that I’ve been holding this little girl for over a year hit me. I could remember her very first cry and how it made my heart flutter. That’s when it hits you.

Or when she’s sleeping and I get to just look at her peacefully and remember the sleepless nights on my end when we just brought her home. Nobody lies when they tell you enjoy every moment because it goes so fast. It does! It’s time consuming. It’s hard work. It’s never quiet. I guess on the rare occasion that it is, you can truly soak it in.

Being away from my husband forced me to take risks, do things I didn’t think about doing before, being more organized, on top of things. In control. I mean I think we spent the first 9 months of her life not having a clue how to do anything. She was the boss. There was no order at all and we were both a wreck on the inside and out.

I used to not go to the store alone with my daughter because I was afraid of this, that and the other. I also never took the car seat out by myself or knew how to install it. Didn’t like driving with her alone in the backseat. Was afraid to feed her real food instead of baby food I knew was impossible to choke on. All these fears I overcame! I stopped dreading mornings as much and instead prepping for them mentally.

Also I started to slowly but surely get rid of people from my high school off of social media which I know sounds silly but it gives me anxiety. However when I actually do it I feel so much better and don’t regret it at all. I’m rapidly approaching my mid 20’s and it really is time to let go of the past. I’ve had such a hard time closing chapters and realizing I’m in a new one. Social media makes it THAT much harder but I think it’s even harder to break from it as a whole. It’s just unrealistic since my generation was raised on it. It’s so ingrained in me. It’s much easier to just create a safer space for yourself than force yourself off of something that provides creative expression.

I genuinely enjoy MY OWN content I just get annoyed by others. I’m still healing and processing past events and relationships. But those things were real and deep so I need to be forgiving with myself about it. But I definitely have gotten to points in the past where it’s like all I would think about. Now I’m not allowing myself to have SO MUCH dwell time. I need to live and be present. But also gentle with myself as I dont have THEE most stamina out there. Like seriously. Catch me with dizzy spells all the time.

Another big thing I accomplished was changing my name (again) legally which was A PROCESS! I’m never changing my name again. Seriously it is not worth it. Props to my 21 year old self for doing the most and going knee deep with transition but JFC was it a mess to get out of.

This is such a long post but it’s been a long summer so far.

Anyways. When it comes to genders I’ve time and time again come back to the same conclusion that I’m just fluid. A few months ago I was very turned off my anything feminine and felt more masculine again but when I get into THAT mindset I’m very one track mind. Blinders on.

The reality is I’m capable of feeling feminine and being happy in it. Like currently I’m VERY femme vibes and I’m comfortable with it. I’ve found a happy medium. Will I ever grow my hair rapunzel long again and flaunt around like I’m a cottage core princess? No. That’s just not me. Ironically enough I love that aesthetic I just know it isn’t ME. I’m way more rough around the edges. And that’s okay. I’m learning to stop trying and to just BE.

I’m excited to see how my marriage will feel after coming back together. We weren’t in a super strong place a few months ago. I always knew we have a solid foundation but there’s always so much to work on. Most of it comes from the inside of either of us. There was so much lack of being people. I think most new parents go through that but nobody wants to talk about that.

The first year of parenting is supposed to be some magical quirky shit show that everyone has a good wholesome laugh about. When in reality it’s just a flaming messy shit HOLE that you laugh about otherwise you will cry about it. But you end up crying regardless.

Anyways. The bottom line is. I’m ready to fucking move on. Move OUT. And go forward. This is just a little mile marker for me to say “you did it! you got through those dreaded 8 weeks!”

[dougiewonderland]

Mafia!AU Leedo (Gunhak) // One of Me, Two of You

(Wow look at this man, he’s not my bias but he’s stunning jfc)

Request: Hello ! May I request a Leedo mafia reaction where he is mafia leader but he has a split personality and you meet is alter ego or his other side for the first time, thank you ! No angst please thank you !

Word Count: 1444

Genre: Mostly fluff (there’s a tiny bit of violence but that’s it!)

A/N: Thank you for being my first Oneus request, and my first mafia request!  I’ve been really into them the last few weeks and stanned them so quickly, the feels are so real.  I hope you enjoy it!

Your relationship with Gunhak has always been one of understanding and trust.  From the time you two started dating he was up front with you about being one of the lead members of the Oneus mafia, one of the smaller but up-and-coming gangs in the city.  You didn’t mind that he was a part of Oneus so long as you didn’t get too involved in anything he did.  He told you you’re safe but warned you that he turns into a completely different person when working which he didn’t want you to see anyway.

You two met at a club when your friends dragged you along for a night out.  Coincidentally, his friends also dragged him out - it was a Friday night and they had just successfully finished a big deal.  Neither you nor Gunhak were much of the extroverted type, but you two couldn’t deny your friends.

You two met at the bar while your respective groups hit the dance floor, leaving you two in solitude.  Gunhak, surprised to see new faces at the club, struck up a conversation with you to learn more about you and make sure you weren’t a spy or something like that for a rival gang (but mostly because you were cute).  To say you two didn’t hit it off quickly would be a lie - your friends and Oneus could barely separate you two by the end of the night..  You and Gunhak couldn’t deny the connection you felt and soon started seeing each other regularly. 

---

Six months into the relationship and things are going smoothly - you’ve all but moved in with him, spending the majority of your time at his place instead of your own.

One night while Gunhak is working late and, as he told you, has an important meeting that could change the status of Oneus, your friends decide to hit up the club.  Since you and Gunhak became official, the club you met him in has become a staple for your friend group as it’s owned by Oneus, therefore you’re always guaranteed entry and safety.

Another perk to dating a leading member of Oneus is that you always get a private table in the VIP section, which gives you the perfect view to watch your friends while they dance.

About an hour or two into your night out, you hear yelling and what sounds like fighting coming from one of the private rooms behind you.  Concerned for your boyfriend and his friends, you stand up to start investigating when Dongju comes up to you.

“Y/N, you and your friends need to leave before things get ugly.  Lee-I mean Gunhak wants you guys to get out before you get hurt,” Dongju says to you, seemingly a bit worried himself.

“Dongju, what’s going on?  Is Gunhak at least okay?  Are all of the boys okay?” you ask, not wanting to get involved but wanting to make sure you aren’t listening to the boys’ demise or something of the sort.

“Everyone is fine for now-I think at least.  The other gang started getting aggressive so we had to fight back but they aren’t backing down so it’s getting a bit heated.  I just hope the deal doesn’t go south, the last thing we need is another rival coming for us - the large gangs already see is as a threat to their territory.”

“Okay, I’ll get my friends and leave.  Please text me when everything is over so I know everyone’s okay?”

“Of course.  Now I have to go help out with whatever is going on in there.”

You head over to your friends on the dance floor and try to pull them aside, the worry apparent in your face.  Once you get them out of the center of the dance floor, you try to let them know what’s going on.  Unfortunately, they don’t know that Gunhak is in a gang, or that they own it and that’s the reason you guys always get entry and VIP.

“Hey guys, we gotta go.  One of Gunhak’s friends told me that we need to leave because it could get dangerous,” you try to say as calmly as possible.

“Ohhhh, which friend?  Was it the cute one?” your friend Naerin says, clearly too drunk to see the worry and urgency in your voice.

“Guys I’m serious, we don’t want to get caught in the middle of something.  Let’s go, we can come back another night.”

“But I’m having so much fun, I don’t want to leave!” another friend, Inha, says while looking over at the male she had been dancing a bit too close with all night.

“Maybe we should listen to Y/N, if Gunhak’s friend is telling us to leave then maybe we should,” Miyoung, your only vaguely sober friend, says.

“Thank you, now let-” you stop when you see an unfamiliar man storm out of the room, seemingly in a hurry.  Soon after you see another figure come after him who you almost don’t recognize.  The look in his eyes is that of a completely different person- almost black with anger and void of emotion.  The second figure throws the first man against the bar with a gun to his abdomen.

“How DARE you f**king threaten any of us.  We’re the only f**king reason you even have a place in this city.  We tried being civil with you, now get your sh*t together.  Either way you’ll be seeing more of us, better make the smart choice and side with us, otherwise I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again, you and your stupid minions,” the figure with the gun says.  You know the voice, it’s almost too familiar, and that paired with the face attached to it--

You stand there in shock as you try to process what you just witnessed.  Gunhak did warn you that he had a completely different side to him when he was working, but you couldn’t believe it - he was the shyest and sweetest person you’ve ever met, around you and around the other Oneus members.

Once Gunhak releases the guy, who promptly runs as quickly as he can out the front door, stumbling a few times, he turns around and sees you standing there watching him, half in shock and half impressed.  He runs up to you to make sure you’re okay and apologizes that you had to see that side of him.

“Are you okay?  I thought Dongju told you all to leave so you wouldn’t get caught up in all this…” he says, holding both sides of your face gently.

“We’re okay, don’t worry hun.  Are you okay?  That’s what matters more, it sounds like it got violent in there before.” “Yeah I’m fine, it was mostly yelling and slamming fists on the table in there, not so much physical contact.  I wish you didn’t have to see what just happened here at the bar though.  Do you...do you think less of me now?” he asks, worried out of his mind that you won’t like this other side of him and will want to leave.

“I don’t mind.  I know you’d never be like that towards me, and honestly I’m more impressed that scared or upset.  I never believed you when you told me you changed so much when working, so I’m impressed that you can come out of your shy little shell,” you tell him teasingly, gently grabbing his cheeks and fake-pinching them in the process.  You give him a peck on the lips to reassure him that you aren’t bothered by it, and he has nothing to worry about - you aren’t going anywhere that easily.

“Okay, if you insist… I have to have a meeting with Oneus to figure out where to go next with what just happened.  Do you want a ride home or do you want to wait for me?”

“I’ll wait here for you and get cabs for the others and make sure they make it home safe,” you say, looking at your friends who are sobered up a bit after these recent events.

“Okay babe, if any of them can’t afford a cab I’m sure the other members will be willing to bring them home.  Plus I think Dongju has a little crush on Naerin so-” he offers, knowing that Naerin has a crush Dongju.

“That’d be great, that way they can enjoy a little more time here, plus I think that Dongju taking Naerin home is a great idea.”

---

Once your friends get home safe and you and Gunhak return home, he holds you tightly in bed, just thankful tonight’s events didn’t scare you away.

[thetaylorfiles]

How does your husband not taking care of his own kids and instead dumping them on his mom so you get a break make HIM a rockstar? If anything, your MIL is the rockstar no? Your expectations for men are shockingly low. No wonder you think abusiveness is just "shitty behavior". I guess rapists are just "touchy feely" huh? Jfc

Huh? Oh, holy crap this is hilarious. You have absolutely no idea what type of marriage I have or they type of dad my husband is. He’s one of the most excellent dads I’ve ever seen, hands down, objectively speaking.

You know... he worked from home the first 5 years of our kids lives and probably did more overnight caring for them than I did (actually we had a system going where he took the beginning of the night and did all the wakings with pumped milk in bottles and I’d go to sleep early. Set an alarm, wake up between 3-5am and take over while he slept then he worked from home and he was always, always participating as often as he could throughout the day, every day.) he’s the most patient, demonstrably loving, most fun father I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. He never “watches” the kids. He just is there. All the time. He is as involved as he can be. He never shirks off any duties around the house or with the kids. We are constantly doing chores for the other to lessen each other’s loads. He’ll do the laundry, dishes, rooms, bedtimes, etc anytime he can to lessen my stress. And I’ll do the same to lessen his stress. We constantly, actively put in the work to make the kids happy and to make each other happy. We never override each other on life or parenting decisions and that’s part to do with the fact that we happen to have similar views (which is so important) but if we don’t, we both jump to compromise or understand the others position and make it work somehow. He does little things for me all the time and I for him. We spend date days at movies and sitting and talking and laughing for hours over lunch and then we miss our kids and go home to them. He’s my best friend and my soft place to land. He’s seen me through my brothers death and other big, hard life events and it’s only made us closer. He’s my family. He’s got my back so hard it’s not even funny. And I his. Like, I could go on and on and on about how amazing he is as a husband and partner, but it’ll just be repetitive. But hey! Just let me know if you want more! I’ve got tons.

As for today, we had a wonderful morning together, all of us, where it was presents and cake and hand drawn cards and hanging out and being together. And then he took them to the beach where his mom is meeting up with them. HE will be taking care of them when he’s with them, not my mother in law, though she’ll pitch in wherever because she loves the kids and doesn’t see them enough because she’s an hour away from us. But no, it’s very much my husband who will be shouldering the majority of the care. And it’s very much my husband who knows me well enough to know that a half day of watching movies, reading books, taking a bath and snuggling with my cats and decompressing is exactly what I need.

Look, I know you’re doing this to get a rise out of me, and making assumptions just to be an asshole, but you chose the wrong subject. If there’s one thing I got right, it’s my marriage and my family. I chose and was chosen by one of the very best men out there. He’s caring, compassionate, fair, kind, brilliant, strong and absolutely adores me. He’s easily the best father I’ve seen compared to the ones I’ve had, and the ones I know (with a few exceptions- some of our friends are wonderful fathers to their kids too). Especially a father to an autistic son. You have no idea how hard and how well he advocates for our kid and has never once been disappointed in what he “misses out on” because our son isn’t neurotypical.

I dated and liked a bunch of not cool guys in my 20s. LA is full of wanna be actors, wanna be screenwriters and just general assholes because Hollywood is such a fucking playground for men who are actually boys. Loads of gorgeous women and drugs and parties and connections and everyone is better looking than the next and think that because of that they’re entitled to more than they are. Or because they know so and so they’re better than. And on and on. This area is fucking RIFE with assholes and when you’re young and you’re having a really fun life, you date a lot of jerks and you date a lot of good guys too (I’m not including the women because the only women I dated were great). I’m sure that LA doesn’t corner the market on bad boys who treat girls with less respect than they deserve. So I know lots of people reading this can probably relate.

But you learn. You do stupid things, date stupid people and you learn what you need, what you want and you course correct as you go along. And if you’re smart and you’re lucky, you recognize the truly good men (or women) when you see them and you hold onto them. Which is exactly what I did.

I regret some things in my life. But dating a few assholes isn’t one of them. And marrying one of the best, smartest men I’ve ever known is absolutely not something I regret. I have the life I want and I am so grateful for it.

Thank you for your ask, anon. You just made me write out how fucking lucky I am and all I have to be thankful for. And I’m feeling so happy inside right now because of it. Honestly, thank you.

[userseokkie]

so uh i know literally no one except like two people care about this but i was thinking today about steve and tony as one does, and if you’re not aware i have a tag for them i call #red oni blue oni and in case you don’t know what that refers to here’s the explanation from tv tropes:

“This trope is about two individuals (or occasionally, factions or civilizations) that are significantly linked together somehow (such as through a rivalry, friendship, being siblings, co-workers, competitors, etc.) that have differing personalities and, with it, often different approaches to the world in general, especially whatever they might be competing in/for/over. This, of course, gives them something to butt heads about, since their manner of acting may rub each other the wrong way and each is sure that their way of doing things is right.”

which you know, OBVIOUSLY steve and tony fit that trope because if anything they’re the driving forces for every major event that’s happened with the avengers since they found cap in 1964. but ALSO there’s more

even though with the red and blue thing you associate Steve with the blue oni and Tony with the red oni, it appears as though they’re the exact reversed:

“The Red Oni is associated with passion, wildness, and defiance. A Red Oni character is often more brawny than brainy, extroverted, enthusiastic, determined, and filled with a zest for life. They are also much more likely to break conventions and rules than their counterpart. If a Red Oni is indeed noticeably intelligent, they will still be much more wild and impetuous than the Blue Oni and/or with less sophisticated thoughts, feelings, or goals. Generally speaking, they're more people-oriented than goal-oriented (although both Oni's can be either). They may or may not shrug off criticism about themselves or their aims and goals, but say or do something nasty to their closest friends and you've just guaranteed yourself a world of pain.” Now i’m not saying Steve is a Big Dumb Blond but the defiant, loud mouthed kid from brooklyn that never took no for an answer is really something that rings true with this description. 

“The Blue Oni is associated with serenity, control and observing authority. A Blue Oni is more intellectual, proud, traditional, introverted, and cultured (sometimes more spiritual, although that's not guaranteed). Blue Oni personalities are often respected by others, but also likely to puzzle or confound their peers because they are difficult to read and have a mysterious quality to them. It's worth noting that while blue types appear tremendously calm and composed, sometimes, this is just the surface, and scratching that façade may show that they are, if anything, wound far too tight beneath their calm and unemotional appearance.” lmao okay so.... traditional? introverted? stoic? those are all descriptors you would NEVER apply to Tony Stark. but then again, if we separate Tony the outside image he’s so carefully crafted from the real Tony who almost no one gets to see, then perhaps it’s more accurate. we know Tony is an alcoholic with a depressive streak and it’s dangerously easy fro him to slip into self destructive habits precisely because he does NOT communicate. he’s great at deflecting - try talking to him about his feelings and he’ll get ragingly drunk and blow up his house only to avoid answering. so... blue?

i still have my hang ups with dividing them so neatly as Red and Blue when it’s more like a swirl of colors where it ends up a purple shade bc they both have things from each Oni. but here is where it gets more interesting and what makes me say OH MY GOD YES THEY’RE THE EMBODIMENT OF THIS TROPE:

“While many expressions of this trope play it straight, it is also not uncommon for the Blue Oni and Red Oni to mix traits. The Red Oni, while usually the more passionate and emotion-driven, may also be the more easy-going and flexible of the two. Their more simplistic world-view may make them at least partially immune to angst and Wangst. Conversely, the Blue Oni, while usually stoic and thoughtful, may hide a volatile, angsty nature that may erupt if pushed too far. In such instances the two may switch roles (...)

There are a lot of ways to play their interactions, so sometimes the two are both leads on an equal standing, sometimes the blue is more of The Smart Guy or The Lancer to the red's Hot Blooded The Leader or The Big Guy. The relationship can also vary wildly, as they are just as likely to be close friends as they are to be bitter rivals or enemies. One thing that is sure is that regardless of how big a cast is, when these two are in it, they will be magnetically drawn to each other.“

See?! the Red oni/Blue oni trope is not so much about them being complete opposites, night and day, black and white, it’s more about how their differences bring them together but their similarities is what keeps them that way. jfc Steve and tony are literally two sides of the same coin, where that coin is justice and heroism and Steve is a deontological representation of what a hero is, while Tony is more a pragmatic/utilitarian reflection of a hero. They are both philosophical movements that focus on Good and achieving what’s right but in far different ways. 

Even further developing their portrayal, it’s obvious they borrow from both onis interchangeably:

“In a show where it's relevant, differences in fighting style may be something like Technician vs. Performer. For example, a red may rush headlong into combat without focus or a plan, relying on surprise or intimidation. It may be that their strategy is to close the fight quickly before their opponent can think or adapt. (”Stark, we need a plan of attack!” “I have a plan - ATTACK!”) The blue may use cunning traps, stealth and strategies, or tend to win in elegant Single-Stroke Battle fashion, or rely on hitting a target with magical powers or projectiles from a distance instead of running up to their opponent and punching them in the face. (Now, does this sound more like Steve or like Tony? because to me this is Tony’s battle strategy to a T. he never punches someone in the face, well besides a few exceptions. He literally has projectiles with body heat targeting. so is tony the blue one or the red one?) Force and Finesse is a variation where red tends to rely on raw power while blue uses precision strikes.“ (Steve rogers is a brilliant strategist, and reminds everyone all the time that he’s the Man with a Plan and everyone always defers to him on the battlefield. But then again, he’s also the kid who used to weigh 90 pounds soaking wet and still went round for round with bullies twice his size without thinking about it. “I can do this all day” says the punk as he throws punches blind. that’s a Red oni thing, but he’s strategy overall is more Blue oni.)

Even so, something else that’s been established time and time again is the difference in their fighting styles. Steve is a boxer, which ultimately means offensive fighting, while Tony practices kung fu and mixed martial arts, which translates into defensive fighting. BUT THEN WAIT, there’s also the fact that Steve has a goddamn shield, which is meant to defend against attacks, while Tony has a weaponized suit of armor that flies, which can be either of both things but is normally used more for offensive attacks, unless you just wanna fly away or bring up the nanotech shield you took from Steve’s book, Tony.

The trope says that Red does everything impulsively, without plan, relying on his instinct while Blue makes a plan and trains to do all perfectly. That’s Tony being the red oni and Steve being the Blue oni. But then, there’s also the brawn vs. brains dichotomy where “Red would focus on becoming physically superior often by putting his/her body through an insane amount of intense training which can be dangerous at times” which is Steve. And meanwhile “Blue would focus on getting smarter and gathering all possible knowledge, betting on their intelligence to win them the fight” which is definitely Tony. So then again, it’s all a mixture where they’re both Onis and yet they both complement the other one where they’re lacking.

In conclusion Steve Rogers and Tony Stark are kindred spirits and also Red and Blue Onis and I love them a lot but not as much as they love each other

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[drarry-with-a-side-of-harry]

Journey into the MCU XII

Avengers: Endgame

I just watched Endgame. Part of me doesn’t even know what to say. Some bits were brilliant and exactly what I wanted them to be and then some bits were just... a bit shit?

Don’t get me wrong. I loved it. Whenever something happened I was screaming ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT’ you know, in the best way :) ...But... I had to love it, you know what I mean? Seriously though, don’t really know what the shit I just watched (in a good way lol)

So, I love the fact that it started with Clint - that already got me crying (the first of the 41 instances of crying due to this film and probably the fact that I’m hormonal lmao). I adored Tony and Nebula’s interaction playing the game in space and I was like ‘Ah shit here we go again he’s adopting another one’ lol. I honestly had no idea how they were going to get back to Earth until That Bitch™ turns up - I actually waaaaay prefer Carol in this film to Captain Marvel!!!

STEVE RUNS TO TONY WHEN THE SHIP LANDS! I CAN’T! HE’S BY HIS SIDE BEFORE PEPPER EXCUSE YOU BITCH WHAT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH

I love them so much :’) sorry I’ll stop

Tony’s whole ‘zero zip nada no trust liar’ just. Wow. Very well done to both RDJ and Evans because that’s improvised right? I love!

I really like Thor, Protector of Lesbians and That Bitch’s interaction. Instantly a yes from me.

I enjoyed Thor’s desperation at just slicing that purple twat’s head off.

I’m trying to do this chronologically but I’m gonna start fucking up. Whatever.

I HATE what they did to Bruce. I wanted to see Bruce Banner being distraught and instead they wrote in all this unnecessary humour which personally I didn’t think was too funny maybe because I was too mad and made him permanently green?? Excuse me? The Russos have gotta be clowning right? The dared do THIS to the strongest avenger? Fuck off honestly. Think about what that man has been through - tried to kill himself and this is the treatment he gets?! No.

I like the fact that Thor is depressed because that was a natural decline. And I mean, he was depressed waaay before 2023 right? He has lost EVERYTHING and can’t really relate to anyone else because most of his loss was different, but he manages to maintain some of the humour we see from him in Ragnarok, HOWEVER I feel like the Russos were just trying too hard to make the humour happen and it just didn’t feel right?

LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY GOT OUT OF THE ‘OH SCOTT’S STUCK IN THE QUANTUM REALM’ PLOT HOLE WITH A RAT SCURRYING ACROSS THE CONTROLS. BITCH. I CAN’T EVEN BE MAD AT THAT. THAT’S JUST ICONIC.

Also, Tony Stark really is one of the best dads, huh? Along with Mr. Lang of course. AND NEITHER OF THEM GOT TO SEE THEIR KIDS GROW UP SORRY MORE ON THAT LATER.

I understand that Tony wasn’t on board at first, despite being a bit annoyed at him being selfish, I got it. And then bitch gets on board and everything’s happy for 20 minutes.

The Time Heist was ICONIC aND no one can tell me otherwise!!! Honestly just the fact that it was called the time heist and it was Scott’s plan and Scott is still tHE biggest fanboy - we stan.

I knew about the time travel shit before watching and thought they were gonna fuck it up because time travel is difficult with regard to not just going ‘so now we’re gonna go back and fix everything, job done’ but I actually think they did a pretty good job and did well explaining how *this version* of time travel was gonna work.

I really enjoyed Bruce’s interaction with the Ancient One and when she realises there must be a problem in the future if Stephen saved Tony’s life for the stone.

STEVE, TONY AND SCOTT WERE EVERYTHING AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THESE GUYS BACK IN 2012!!! I love Tony making Scott induce a heart attack. ICONIC. I live for the fact that we see all this sort of ‘behind the scenes’ action of The Avengers 2012 and the stuff that happened after the event and the ins and outs of everything. I will NEVER be over these whole shenanigans!!!!! I already knew about Cap V Cap but nOTHING could’ve prepared me for tHAT. This will be a continuing theme lol. I had no idea the whole ‘that is America’s ass’ thing actually happened jfc. SIDE NOTE: Tony really does say ‘I forgot that suit did nothing for your ass Cap’ bITCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA why you looking though you bi little shit lmao I’m not sorry. Steve whispering Hail Hydra was iconic and I was screaming ‘FUCK YEH BITCH FUCK EM UP NOW THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON HELL YEAH STEVE!!!!!!’ and at first I was like ‘wait, are they gonna recreate the CATWS elevator fight sequence?’ and then they did tHAT. ICONIC. And then I also knew that they go back further because I knew Tony met Howard and I knew about Dr. Potts and Capt. Stevens (lol) BUT NOTHING COULDVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT EITHER!!!! That shit got me FUCKED aND he hUGged him! He hugged his dad! I was! Not ready! For that!

Anyway so their time heist was really nice and I loved it so much it was everything I could’ve hoped for.

Thor and Frigga’s interaction I thought was really nice and she MUST know by the way he’s talking that in his future, the near future, she’s dead. I just find it so lovely and she completely restores Thor’s confidence in himself.

NOW

CLINT AND NAT

ABSOLUTELY NOT

That totally fucked me up. I knew Nat died at Vormir but turns out it didn’t matter that I already knew because nothing could’ve prepared me for that either.

For one, they hint at it quite a bit after they’ve finalised the plan - you know, that someone’s gonna go there and die. Nebula knows and we know that whoever’s going to Vormir ain’t coming back - well, one of them. oops

Secondly, I had no idea that they *playfully* fought it out to decide who it was gonna be and I was sOBBING from the moment they got to Vormir till- uhhh- well tbh it never stopped but you get the point. The whole fact that Nat realised that *this* was her purpose and after what Clint had been doing for the last five years, he thought he was too far gone and didn’t deserve his family anymore, even if they could get them back. It just totally fucked me up. That was one of my favourite scenes.

Sad Steve. AHHHH.

Then a whole load of shit happens and Thanos learns about the plan. I like the way Thanos talking about his future self is written, so kudos to the writers on that one!

I also appreciate the fact that there’s no delay between Thanos, Squidward and the rest of his crew coming to the future and the fight. That’s it. All of a sudden we’re straight into it! Great!

AHHHHHHH so now it’s time for The Big Three to confront Thanos and I just LOVE this sequence so much I honestly can’t express it and I was so so sooooo hoping that I would see these three on their own (plus purple numpty of course). At this point Thanos is just completely psycho because he wants to destroy the universe and create a new one which is an addition I really like - creates a new sense of urgency I suppose.

In other news, Steve Rogers is worthy! Which I love because somewhere around CATWS I started stanning this bitch!

Dr. Strange’s portals? ICONIC. Hotel? TRIVAGO.

Peter’s back and his and Tony’s whole interaction and hug had me in fucking tears jesus fUCKING christ nope. That shit hurt. THAT IS HIS SON RIGHT THERE. FUCK.

RIGHT.

TONY MOTHERFUCKING STARK.

The fact Stephen knows - has known for 5 years - what must happen.

The look on both their faces when Tony realises.

Nope.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Made me wanna die.

Then he does it. Fuck. I’m completely fucked now. Thanks. And then Peter’s by his side and Peter’s whole speech while Tony’s just dYING!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT. I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE HURT LIKE THIS. AND RHODEY. AND PEPPER. AND PEPPER HAS TO PULL PETER OFF. NOPE.

THEN they dare just cUT TO THE FUNERAL??!!?!

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Get the fuck out honestly.

Tony’s recording. No.

The placing of everyone at the funeral was just perfect. The funeral was just beautiful in general tbh. The Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart on the flowers. HARLEY!!!!!!! NO.

AND MORGAN WANTED CHEESE BURGERS JFC HAPPY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST UNCLE WOW!!!

Did I know Tony Stark was gonna die? Yes I did. I would’ve had to leave Tumblr to not have found out. There’s only so much that tagging can hide and you see something that hints at it and then you see a quick gif and then you just know, you know?

Did it prepare me? Fuck no.

Now, Steve.

What tHE ACTUAL FUCK?

What was that?

I’m not buying it.

Love the fact he passed Cap onto Sam, but to spend the rest of his life with Peggy? Fuck no. Some girl he knew too seconds vs spending the rest of his life with his BEST FRIEND who was irreplaceable. Fuck off. Bucky’s face throughout the whole sequence. The poor man was fucking devastated. And I’m writing this from a canon perspective because I’m all for stucky you know? Then I asked my self: ‘How could Steve do that?’ Conclusion: he couldn’t and he wouldn’t - the writers were playing silly games and none of us, none of us are buying it.

Did I know all this was gonna go down? Yes. Was I prepared? No.

Not for Bucky’s fucking face jfc. All they got was a line and a quick hug. They were BEST FRIENDS. I honestly can’t stress that enough. Wow.

The deleted scenes. Of course I have watched them aND WHY IN THE SHIT WERE THEY DELETED??? Russos are fucking clowns!!!! They all fucking kneeled for him and that was cut? You having a laugh mate?! And Gerald the Alpaca was cut because??? The extra Howard and Tony didn’t make the cut? Excuse you? Tony’s talking about how he doesn’t think he’s done enough, and then he goes and does the aBSOLUTE MOST???? :’) fuck. And uhhh Rhodey having the ONLY brain cell in the avengers with the whole ‘well you coulda jumped out the plane beforehand Cap’ lmaooo brilliant!!!

So they may be deleted but let me tell you, they released them so now they’re fucking canon.

So in conclusion, did I know all the major spoilers before watching this film? Yes because I wasn’t going to be a tumblr hermit, but managed to pretty successfully ignore them until today. SO WAS I PREPARED? FUCK NO!

Surprisingly I LOVED Clint in Endgame - not that I didn’t like him before but I just really respect how broken he is in this. His family. Nat. It really adds up and I really enjoyed what they did with his character.

I did really love it generally but just wasn’t entirely happy with some of the character choices - because they seemed pretty damn out of character! There’s development over 5 years of not having seen them, and then... there’s... some other situations.

Would I have enjoyed it more not knowing any spoilers? Completely! But I wasn’t gonna stay clear of Tumblr for 4 months lol.

Main thing I will take away from watching this. I miss Tony Stark so much and love him so much. And no I will not shut up about it. And was I crying for a good hour after the film ended and then some whilst I was watching the extra content? Maybe.

Also I’m so emotional that this is IT for Downey and Chris. Wow. Ok I’m done :’)