#like ive had some in the past that are just outright hateful

[inkedmyths]

(drags hand down face) When there's Christian proselytizing blazed on the dash...

[thislousytshirt]

Wyll Ravenguard story suggestions

ive heard a lot of people, both fans and non-fans of wyll, say that his storyline is lacking, and i agree. i actually think lae'zel, karlach and wyll just have weaker stories than the other origin characters but ive seen people say they think wylls was neglected because hes the only black character and yeah... i think it has a lot of potential and ive thought about how id rewrite it without removing anything thats there (like completely changing the role of his father or changing wylls character, i tried not to change his character at all but there might be things i overlooked) i tried to come up with content that could feasibly be added to the existing game by larian. anyway heres what id add

-a scene early in act 2 where wyll confesses to the player that what happened with karlach has caused him to question whether mizora has manipulated him to kill other innocents or good people in the past. he summons her to ask (wait, can he summon her? i dont see why not) and she makes light of the question, refusing to answer outright but implying she has. this is upsetting to wyll and causes him to question his role as a hero. (this scene does not happen if karlach was killed or that quest wasnt completed)

-a scene early in act 3 where wyll tries to help a group of refugees but is rejected because one of them can sense his connection with a devil. this sparks a conversation with the player where wyll says hes come to terms with his sacrifice but he isnt made of stone and being rejected by his father and then continuously used by mizora is wearing him down. he then apologizes for being selfish and the player can end the conversation or tell him hes not being selfish and encourage him to talk about what it was like after he was outcast as a teenager. after this he will show frustration with the situation and say hes afraid he will grow to resent the people hes trying to help. the player can say that they value his help or they can encourage him to stand up and defend his own value to other people. (or they can say some dick thing yk)

-after duke ravenguard is rescued hes brought unconcious to the camp. he recovers and is freed from the absolute by the astral prism but is disgusted with wyll like his is in canon and refuses to work with the party or listen to what they have to say. he leaves to go to his house and gather his resources. the party agrees they must go after him before the astral prism's effect wears off (is this how the astral prism works?) the party sneaks into ravenguards house or fights his loyal flaming fists to get to the duke, and pass a persuasion check to allow wyll to talk to his father. it is a DRAMATIC and EMOTIONAL confrontation where wyll tells his father he made a pact to prevent a slaughter, that he has been fighting to save innocents ever since, and that it still hurts that his father believed he had done it for power. wylls father looks conflicted and agrieved - he doesnt want to believe he was so unfair to his own son. wyll tells him that he can disbelieve wyll and hate him if he wants but begs him to work together with him to stop the absolute and save baldurs gate. ravenguard believes him and is remorseful, they hug and everyones tadpoles connect catching the duke up on whats happened. he goes to their camp and becomes an ally like usual

*if the party didnt recruit wyll or he was killed, the duke becomes their ally like in canon and gives them the key to his house so they can use his stuff

*if the persuasion check to get ravenguard to talk to wyll is failed they will have to fight him. after the fight wyll gives him a potion and says his speech like normal. i just think it would be fun and dramatic to have a mini boss fight in there

*if for some reason the player decides not to bring wyll to the confrontation with the duke then they can just persuade the duke through dialogue and tadpole-meld with him but it will not be nearly as satisfying. back at camp wyll will say hes reconciled with his father and thank the player.

*if duke ravenguard is not saved at all then i assume there is a canon dialogue that plays with wyll but i havent seen it so if its as bad as his reunion scene then rewrite that too.

i havent seen like, every scene, i havent even finished act 3 in my playthrough because i have adhd, and ive only seen wylls early romance scenes. so its possible some of the stuff ive touched on is hidden late in act 3 or in the romance but i want it in his main story path and earlier if thats the case. and i have seen the confrontation with his father and i think its super bad.

also - i know rescuing the duke is already very difficult and annoying, and adding extra steps to recruiting him would piss a lot of people off, but its worth it for me to get the confrontation into a setting where lighting and staging can be used to effect, and the effect of wyll having to forcibly enter one of his families properties which he should have been welcome in - it symbolizes him no longer accepting his exile.

anyway tell me what you would have done differently

[ludinusdaleth]

sorry if this sounds snobby or petty when i dont intend it, but matt outright saying without any pause that ludinus had trauma from the calamity and being sure he alluded to it already (he has. countless times) is kind of the nail in the coffin to me of this jaded assumption that ludinus is a poser and to dare to think he has depth is "delusional". some of us have said for years ludinus is from the age of arcanum because the hints were there. matt outright said it as ludinus THRICE and multiple times above table & on 4sd.

this confirmation as well as some other analyses people hate, covered on this ep - exandria being a metaphor for american exceptionalism/centrism, the complexity of the gods & their "humanity", etc - have been obvious in the narrative for some time and as ive said in longer posts i dont think there would be so much discourse if people just accepted the shows messages right in front of them. there was no reason past ludinus's intro scene in c3 to assume he wasn't an arcanum mage unless you were reading matts intentions in negative faith like a writer punishing fans for caring (he never has). sometimes a theory isnt a theory anymore but fact, and we'd have conversations 70× more investing if fans could jump over the hurdle of accepting canon rather than applying a nihilistic lens of their own biases, or thinking "the showrunner is lying, like they always do", to a show that's never worked like that.

to quote matt himself on talks machina, about his artagan reveal: “it makes me excited that people are following along so closely and are picking up the threads that I’m dropping. It means that I’m not doing a terrible job about laying down the tracks."

[stevethehairington]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

i was tagged by @scimitar-and-longsword, ty Lolo for the tag!! 💕

How many works do you have on ao3? 118

What's your total ao3 word count? 667,938

What fandoms do you write for? the most recent fandom i've written for and posted for is stranger things, and i am still writing for it! i have also recently been dipping my toes into writing for both the terror and challengers (though i have not posted anything ~officially~ for either yet)

Top five fics by kudos:

good for my boy - steddie; wayne pov, the first time wayne meets steve! | 4,4,564 kudos

can't hide the way you make us glow - steddie; sequel to good for my boy, also wayne pov, this time how wayne finds out steve and eddie are together | 3,154 kudos

i want to hold your hand - steddie; steve has a crush on eddie and really reaaallly wants to hold his hand | 2,361 kudos

sloe gin fizzy, do it till you're dizzy - steddie; steve and eddie make a habit of getting high together... and also making out | 2,204 kudos

the world will follow after - steddie; steve accidentally kisses eddie on his way out the door | 2,000 kudos

Do you respond to comments? yes!!! i'll admit, i'm suuuper behind on this (a combination of being ridiculously busy and not having my laptop for a hot minute) but i absolutely do respond to every comment at some point! the way i see it is if you're kind enough to take the time to say something nice i'm gonna take the time to say thanks!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ooh angstiest ending? i fear i end all of my fics happy haha, but i suppose... well, i suppose keep you on a rope would fit the bill. this one is my tommy pov hs reunion fic, and tommy sees steve happy with eddie and then goes home drunk and upset soooo yeah that's a pretty unhappy ending for him lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? god, like everything else i've ever written?? lmfaoooo. i truly don't have one specific answer here because ALL my fics are happy endings if i can help it.

Do you get hate on fics? nah. i've gotten like a couple dumb comments before but they haven't been like mean outright hate or anything. i hope to keep it that way!

Do you write smut? hah, so, technically yes. but it's been a REAL hot minute, and every time i've tried to write smut recently i feel like i just get so stuck with it and then give up. soooooo.

Craziest crossover: i Do Not Like crossover fics so none! lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen? ummmm, i don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated? i've had a couple people ask before, but honestly idk if they ever actually did? so maybe lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before? i've tried! several times! but the, like, motivation/inspiration for those fics sort of fizzled out before they could be finished, so nothing has ever been posted.

All time favorite ship? oh man!!! this is a hard question!!!! because like, my favorite ship is obviously going to be the one i'm most invested in at the moment, but like i do still hold a very special place in my heart for the ships of the past i've fallen out of the fandoms for.

the current ships i'm coo coo for cocoa puffs over at the moment are steddie, fitzier, and tashi/art/patrick (honestly do not know what the "official" ship name for them is lol)

but if i had to pick my favorite out of all the ships ive ever written for... man i think i have to go with stucky!! there's just something about that ship that reaaaaally hits, and even though i don't really write for it anymore, just thinking about it makes me go bananas and feel so much, so yeah, stucky my beloveds.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? HAH okay i have an answer for this one: my steddie two night stand au!!!!! it was going to be my fic for the steddie big bang but i had to drop out of that bc irl got in the way, but i have like. at least half of the fic written already and a solid plan for the rest and i was totally loving what i had for it, and ive been DYING to write a two night stand for literally any fandom i've ever been in so i REALLY want to finish this one at some point... i hope i will!!!

What are your writing strengths? i would probably say my characterization!!! i try really really hard with that and i've gotten lots of comments that have pointed this out specifically, which makes me extra proud!

What are your writing weaknesses? i feel like sometimes when i get too in my head about things i end up, like, getting kind of repetitive, like i'll start using "smile" or describing eyes too much lol. i always try to like fix this when i edit before posting, but it's definitely something i notice myself doing.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? i don't really have an opinion on this, like, whatever fits your fic best, so long as there's a translation somewhere that is easily accessible to the reader!

First fandom you wrote in? skam!!

Favorite fic you've written? oooh okay. i think i'm either going to go with keep me on a rope or under my umbrella!!

i'm going to tag: @withacapitalp @steddielations @henderdads @stevesbipanic @greenlikethesea @toburnup @thefreakandthehair @heybluechild @steddieasitgoes and anyone else that wants to do this!!

[terra-tortoise]

flight rising tumblr do you have any general lore for wind clans or nature clans youre proud of? theyre the 2 elements ive had the most trouble pinning down a vibe for. posting what i have (and some brief bit of my lore for the other elements to put them into perspective) below the cut, but id love to hear what you all have in terms of lore for them

Nature: genuinely not much. 2 pearl cerdae that help guard the behemoth. the mother of snakes, a dragon who volunteered to enter the pox consulate after the armistace was broken to atttempt to seal it up and prevent it from spreading who was infected (not outright killed by luck of being born to plague) and changed into a strange beast with 3 snake heads, keeping mutated creatures in and healthy dragons out. aiming for a more brutal vibe i think?

Wind: again. basically nothing. i keep just making farmers--lotta sheep come from the windswept plateu. a few bards too but nothing Interesting, no anchoring point of conflict or creativity.

Arcane: nothing -_- magic experimentation i guess? i had some dragons who were once turned to stone as a punishment for suspicion of spreading arcane secrets, but my other dragons are very mundane which is not as fun to me. i also have a weird monster from space? i could go space ways...

Earth: focus primarily on archeologists and grave robbers, as well as long-dead creatures brought to life by a shifting in ley lines

Fire: definitely leaning into the magmablood rebuke, forgemasters and rebels, bigotry and classism, pollution and unionizing

Water: ive made a breakthrough leaning into the darker sides of their lore (prisoners and the like) but leaning into sea witches and pirate crews. the core story is an undead former pirate who died in a storm and her wife who searches for her, most of my water dragons are either related to the search or former crew members

Lightning: scrappers and engineers, industrialization and innovation. trying to survive in a climate that hates you.

Ice: outward expansion of gaoler outposts and increasing shade incursions. guides across the ice field.

Light: so much. investigation into ruins of past civilization, secrets and lies, shade bubbling up beneath.

Shadow: behemoth ghostly warriors in the brambles, dragons that mislead for fun, a faction of fanatics determined to blot out the sun.

Plague: a wasteland empty, capitalized on by strange magic-users and crime rings. the illegal gladiatorial pits originated here (<-borrowed lore). the undercroft is a honeycombed metropolis stretching deep underground, and within it a dragon creates flesh constructs, seeking revenge on those who scorned her.

[linolinoing]

[ hey, you dont have to post this, i just wanted to say smth in response to some other asks ive seen you get. im just saying things in a monotone btw pls dont read this with any sort of extreme tone /gen. ]

all of them are older than me, and i am an established adult. they know the real world. i see not a single reason you should expect them not to.

chan is just as online as your average stay. felix is all over tiktok. students in a south korean university are demonstrating so noticeably news of it have reached people all over the world. and they are in south korea. they would have heard of everything by now.

chan has a habit of doing things jyp doesn‘t want him to do if he wants to do them bad enough.

i dont think anybody forced them to do this collab.

i dont think they secretly hated it. theyve mentioned wanting to collab with this guy before multiple times; i remember at least two.

3racha and skz have brought insane success to jype with all four of their most recent comebacks. jyp has his flaws, but i don‘t think hes an unapproachable tyrant. other jype artists have talked abt negotiating things with him pretty easily.

i personally dont believe they tried to object to anything theyve recently done, cc or this. i wish people would stop acting as if theyre literal slaves. theyre in a good position in the company and the industry at large.

if they truly wanted to object, i believe they would have.

hard is just something this sort of thing is. no matter who, what, or where you are.

[ all of our takes are more or less speculation, this is just my two cents. i would be happy if you would share them, but do with them what you will, its your blog. have a good day ]

About your second message - don't worry it didn't come of that way at all and please don't feel stupid for voicing your opinion!

I definitely don't think they were against any of the collabs they did, but unfortunatly there's still a lot of people who live in their own bubble and don't check the world news, so I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't know what companies are being boycotted.

Most kpop idols stay silent about pretty much all social and political topics, most can't even say outright what their own beliefs are. However there are idols who do speak up - Fatou from balckswan, BM from kard, Suho from EXO to name a few that I can think of. Can it potentially cause consequences for them? Yes. And they still did it. Until a few days ago people weren't event asking kpop idols to speak up, mostly fans were asking companies to divest from working with zionists.

It's pretty obvious 3racha like puths music and were happy to collaborate with him and judging by how many stays didn't know anything about what puth had said in the past, I don't think 3racha knew either. BUT there's is no way they don't know now. When skz were on stationhead today a lot of stays commented about Palestine and the boycott, even tho comments were going really fast, it was very noticeable. Will they stop all the promotions? No. Will jype release a statement? No. They're just going to keep on promoting this collab, remixes will be realesed soon, they're sending this song on radio and performing it on 15th, and that's only what we know of. I kinda feel like even after the promo period they will still perform this song, maybe at the festivals, maybe even on upcoming tour. Also they're spending a lot of time in ny right now so I'm afraid this is not the only weird move that we will see from them, cuz if this song is sort of a pre realese for the album then idk what kind of an album is waiting for us. I hope I'm wrong about that, but i guess we just have to wait and see

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw implied abuse and cheating mention

looking for reassurance and validation and some way to cope with guilt. this is ok to post for followers. a few of my asks have been answered before but namelessly. my name is nettie

I feel guilty that my ex is depressed while I'm doing well for myself now. I have c-ptsd but it's been very manageable in the past two months and I've been happy but I've heard from mutual friends that my ex isn't doing well for themself and is extremely depressed. I have no urge to reach out I just feel really bad that theyre suffering and I'm not. I feel like it should be the other way around and it makes me think that maybe what happened between us wasn't as bad for me as I thought it was. It took ages of self improvement and therapy to get to where I am now but I'm a functional member of society and in a happy relationship while all I hear about them is that they're really struggling. theyre financially fine and in a relationship with someone they (most likely) cheated on me with but theyre still majorly depressed like they were when we were together. they blamed a lot of their depression and anxiety on me and said a lot of hurtful things to me and now im terrified that theyre still feeling that and ive deluded myself into thinking im a victim when im really just a bad person. I've been known to struggle with reality (my therapist and friends believe that I was gaslit and manipulated but I can't remember much of the relationship for whatever reason) so now I'm not sure what's true or not. I don't want to hurt them, I never did and Ive tried everything in my power to make their life easier but it was/is never enough to make them feel better. I feel like I deserve to be punished, somehow. my boyfriend is upset for me because he despises my ex (my bf and I were friends when my ex and I were together; bf and ex never formally met, bf just had a crush on me and thought my ex sounded like an ass and then obviously when i found out I have ptsd he started outright hating them) and he's absolutely adamant that my ex was depressed before-during-and after our time together and I had no influence on that because they are "insistent on wallowing in their own misery and attempting to drag anyone who gets too close down with them". I feel like that's a bit harsh but I thought maybe his thoughts would provide an opposing pov for an outsider in this situation? I dont know. I'm really upset and that familiar "I don't deserve to be happy" feeling is coming up again.

Hi nettie,

I'm sorry about what you've been going through.

It sounds like your ex is blaming things on you which you have no responsibility for. It sounds like you haven't given him any reason to be anxious and depressed, and in fact you went above and beyond to make sure it wouldn't blossom. Perhaps the gaslighting and manipulation you faced may be influencing your impostor syndrome, that you deserve to be punished without any clear evidence as to why.

You don't owe anything to your ex. I think he's making it sound like you do in order to string you back in - my abuser did that by pretending to be sick in multiple ways and blaming it on me, as if asking me to return to his side and tend to him. That's the trap.

You've been through a lot. Why not allow yourself happiness as a reward?

-Bun

[writing-ardent]

So I hit the apps again today

I used to be alone. It’s not that I didn’t have friends. I had plenty of those. All kinds of friends. Cool friends, scared friends, sad friends, party friends…you name it. I guess there were a lot of people in my life. A lot of numbers in my phone’s contact list.

But for some reason, it wasn’t enough. Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe I don’t appreciate them for who they are. I don’t know why but, I always feel so empty, even when I’m around the people I care about the most.

That’s why I spent the entire day on dating apps. They���re what everyone seems to be using now a days to find friends, lovers, and a nice quick fuck. Man, I wish I could find any three of those. Whenever I get lucky enough to find one it always turns out to be the things I don’t want at the time.

I really don’t see what’s so good about these apps. Sure I get a lot of hits on them, but they never mean anything. I’m not exactly self conscious about my appearance above the belt, but you know that problem I mentioned before? Yeah. It’s a frustrating numbers game I’ll never hope to win no matter how low I can force my expectations with a few drinks.

I guess this one is a little better. More friendly to pansexuals my friend said. I guess she has a point, but it’s still not really going to get a gold metal from me just for being mediocre instead of outright bad.

It was swipe after swipe. I tried to be optimistic. There were a few cute people here and there. Maybe I’ll finally have a decent conversation that isn’t just a copy paste of the exact same one I had the last time I was on one of these apps.

It’s boring. I really hate it and I don’t even feel excited anymore when I see someone I want to swipe. I guess I’m smart enough not to get my hopes up anymore on a subconscious level.

I decided to take a break and prod around on some other things I have on my phone. Probably not the ibuddy app though. That was one of the biggest wastes of time you’ve ever tried. It felt like you were talking to a brick wall. Advanced robot my ass. You would have a better time talking to the guy on meth that likes to roam around your street at night.

Time to go on the forms you like to surf. Forms isn’t really accurate though. It’s just a subsection of Paradise, which is one of those big companies that used to be a bunch of small ones. Ive lost track of how many are left now. The last time I checked there were three I think?

The forms were much more interesting than the dating app. This was much better. The kind of thing to finally bring my mood up after an exhausting day. Some memes usually cheer me right up. Or they at least come about as close to it as I’m going to get on a REALLY bad day.

There were a lot of good anime ones this time. They aren’t as good as the cute animal videos, but they’re still pretty nice I guess. At least when it’s for a fandom I’m part of and actually know about. If it’s not I have to sit there quietly and pretend like I didn’t see it. It’s pretty rude to like something for a fandom you aren’t in.

It looked like there was a new format I wasn’t aware of. It was little icons of characters sending people text messages, but with some logo in the corner I didn’t recognize. I thought that maybe this was one of those new surreal ones where it looks like it’s normal unless you get the very specific niche joke. This was something I had to look up right away so that I could start spamming all my friends with them. Well, the ones that like these kind of memes anyway.

That was when I got a phone call from my uncle David. David is a nice guy, but he’s pretty out of touch. He’s from the olden days back before we had things like self driving cars and self serving plates. It’s nice though to talk to him sometimes. My friends all think I’m crazy because I still grow my own plants and eat parts of them. He might be a funny guy that doesn’t know how to text, but I love him and he’s great.

“How’s it going Tripp? Did you get that email I sent you?”

“Fine. And yeah, I did.”

This was a lie of course. He sends me so many emails with random articles about things like climate change and animal facts. It’s almost always something I already know and am bored by, but I know it would break his heart if I told him that, so I just go along with it since it’s usually something I’m already aware of anyway.

“Wonderful! I know it’s hard to get a job these days. Hang in there.”

I was about to start my new business this week actually, but that’s not exactly something I talk about in polite company, especially not in front of uncle David.

“Thanks, that means a lot. It’s really hard, you know?”

There’s a pause before he speaks again.

“I know it too well. Did I tell you the story about the strike of twenty thirty five?”

“You did. And it was a really good story. I’m glad you got heating and cooling back. You probably saved a lot of people by doing that.”

“I’m glad you remember it. Listen, I just want you to be ok. Your generation is out future you know.”

“I know.”

He’s said that a thousand times now. Everyone his age is always saying things like that. I’m surprised I didn’t end up seeing one of the thousands of memes about the kind of things old people say before I picked up the phone actually.

“Did your kale grow any bigger yet?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to eat it! That shit is so good!”

“I have another plant for you if you want it.”

Oh no. Not another plant. I have so many of them that I don’t have any room left for another one. This was something uncle David is known for. While I love to learn about plants from him, he also seems to have an endless supply that he won’t stop giving people. And the worst part is that I can never stop myself from saying no to another one because god damn it, I just love plants ok?!

“Oh damn, that’s great! I’m free Tuesday if you want to bring it over!”

“That sounds great. I’ll talk to you later. Murphy wants to play.”

“Please let him and throw a frisbee for me!”

“I will. Talk to you later. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hung up the phone and sighed. It was nice talking with uncle David, but I always just feel so drained after I do it every time. I’m not really sure why. I love him and he really shouldn’t be this hard for me to talk to, but he just is.

God damn it, I was going to need more coffee. I pull up a delivery app on my phone. The nearest place was probably be the quickest. I typed in what I wanted on my phone and went to my porter. It’s actually a porter printer hybrid, but I don’t use the printer part of it very often because art just isn’t really my thing and those machines are way too complicated.

It didn’t take long for the coffee to show up. It’s pretty easy to port things when there’s nothing organic in them. It’s why most foods are synthetic now a days. This way we can have something delicious whenever we want it. If you ask me, that is an amazing invention.

I sipped the coffee. It was burned. But that’s pretty much what I would expect from a fast food place. They aren’t exactly known for being quality, but the upscale franchises are too far away and I was kind of lazy that day.

I looked out the window. It’s was a nice day in the ocean. That’s the window I picked out. It was either that or the neon pink one with the anime girl on it. I figured I would go for the more tasteful option even if it was kind of surreal. Oh who am I kidding. I was drunk when I picked it. Still one of the best decisions of my life.

I finally remembered what I was going to do before uncle David called. I was going to finally look up what that weird as fuck meme was about. I can’t believe it slipped my mind so easily on that day. I guess I’m just easily distractible like that.

I decided to check out the Paradise page of the one who posted the latest version of the meme. That’s usually the best way to find out what an in joke is if you don’t have enough information to search an actual archived wiki for it. Paradise always loads faster anyway because they shell out the big money to ISPs that nonprofit archives can never even hope to scramble together.

They were talking about how they made it using this new app. It was called DJINN. Weird name for an app. Kind of made me think of the genie from Aladdin or something out of an RPG. That was a weird name for a shitposting app, but hey I’ve seen weirder. Penguin was definitely an experience.

Might as well check it out. I decided to just click the link directly. It probably wasn’t a virus if this many people were using it and I was way too lazy to try to dig up the wiki. Sponsored links didn’t have the same lagging problem because Paradise got money from it if you clicked.

When the page finally loaded, I almost spat out my coffee.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Exiled States the Obvious Pt. 1

Warning: May contain spoilers, may not be 100% accurate, sick ramblings, may break your heart upon debunking common theories

Some canon notes I've noticed and analyzed, this will be placed here not just for safekeeping but for other writers to be known of them too :DD

From Venti's story I; it is said that as a loophole to being refused to be served alcohol because of his appearance, he 'drinks on the job', performing while drinking alcohol the audience gives him instead of Mora (his own suggestion)

Story IV offers some interesting details from Venti's story quest: First, Decarabian truly loved his people and believed that he had done good for them. Second is that Venti was supposed to gift his friend an eagle's feather but wasn't able to do so because he died.

Venti knows how to forge Rex Lapis' signature. Venti knows how to FORGE REX LAPIS' SIGNATURE.

It confuses me how Venti and Diluc doesn't have some kind of estranged relationship knowing how aristocracy/monarchy damaged freedom in Mondstadt.

Venti has been to Celestia and it apparently fucking sucks. That or Venessa told him about it, but it still SUCKS.

The Anemo Archon can and will strip you just to protect his identity/secrets/past. Ask Mona.

Albedo and Klee in his trailer, we can consider this canon: Babysitting Klee includes fucking battles. Best big brother.

The way Venti talks about Albedo speaks of [How Earth is a thing in Space] [Creation of Human Life through Earth] which are direct points to God's (biblical) creation of the universe and humans. With the dialogue, Venti recognizes Albedo has Godly powers that can create such miracles, take this line with a pinch of salt tho.

A connection: The real reason Zhongli does not carry nor care about prices is because of his trailer, THE FUNERAL PARLOR LITERALLY CARRIES ALL HIS EXPENSES

Hu Tao's existence proves that Xiao has a sense of humor and it is MORE THAN LIKELY that the adepti knows and can casually smile or laugh.

This piece of work exists: "Sigils of Permission were once created by Rex Lapis and infused with adeptal power. During the Archon War, such talismans were used by mortals to channel divine power. Now, most of its power has worn off, but adepti will still refrain from harming its holder."

Xiao is actually less hostile/asshole-y in the Chinese version than the English one and should be taken as canon since, well, Mihoyo is a Chinese company. Lots of dialogues or voiceline connotations are lost in translation.

Zhongli's retirement scenario does NOT mean that the adepti will not be needed or will also retire (looking at you Keqing) because as proven by the fight, the adepti are still in need of protecting mankind.

The Qixing and Adepti all know he is not dead, stating he gave hints that he hasn't really died to them.

A huge possibility that Zhongli recites this line whenever he finishes or fulfills a contract: "The contract is fulfilled. That which thou seeketh is now bestowed unto thee, for my promise is solid as stone."

If his words from the cool trailer is to be taken into heart, then Zhongli had long since cared for and protected humans, during the archon war.

Zhongli is not a MORTAL FUNERAL man, he is an ADEPTI FUNERAL man.

This broke God has the AUDACITY to go to operas, and not just any operas no no, "operas by the most celebrated performers."

He does not know shit about poverty because he doesn't know what it's like to be poor. He doesn't need to eat.

Besides the usual, he has more titles, some which are pretty funny: God of History, God of Stove. Liyueans(?) call him Rex Lapis, outside of his nation everyone calls him Morax. And in operas and children, he's more known as the War God.

Zhongli is very likely to cause divine intervention or sightings because a lot of stories and tales in Liyue about him are actually first-hand experience of accounts seeing the God himself.

Wrath of the Rock does not only mean Zhongli smacking asses with a laddle: Qixing of Liyue are officially responsible of punishing contract breakers.

Ningguang's role holds the big bad book of laws, with a whooping page count of 279.

This infomation is mostly for me to clarify Rex Lapis standing in the Seven: He is the first to ascend into Archon-hood, the one out of two remaining of the original Seven (Barbatos is second longest) and that besides him and Venti, the original Seven would also gather for wine in Liyue until they all left Archon-hood.

Zhongli really fuckin did a pest termination arc.

I repeat, ZHONGLI DOES NOT HATE SEAFOOD. To clarify, he hates TENTACLED seafood/cuisines. He can eat seafood tofu, happily.

It's so funny how the concept of "equivalent exchange" exists and is exercised in contracts, but not in a more dangerous aspect such as a l c h e m y.

The reason Jean is working as an Acting Grand Master is because the actual Grand Master is out on an expedition.

It is not normal for the Harbingers to be like Childe.

While battles and sparring is one of Childe's most usual traits, a lot of his character lines point to the fact that he's not outright looking for beating people up 24/7 and that his thirst can also be quenched by thrill or excitement.

General ones:

The other five archons do not uphold/focus on the duty of leading humanity, which was the prior responsibility of the original Seven.

I just realized the Archon War was literally about fighting to get a seat on the Seven. The way Archons are chosen are a mystery, just look at how Venti got his Archon-hood smh.

A pattern that we should consider but may be debunked in the future: A playable character MUST posses a visible Vision. So bye Scaramouche banner :')) pls debunk this Mihoyo

With Morax being unable to make Mora, economy is gonna be wack in Teyvat. In essence, every piece of Mora is valuable and will need to be circulated. Nations may fight to hold the most Mora and the one leading and already found a work around on this is actually the Tsaritsa, who has long since focused on economic power. This may not be coincidence.

Characters who are CANONICALLY good with children, to an extent: Ningguang, Beidou, Xiangling, Baizhu, Albedo, Jean, Childe, Ganyu, Xiao, Lisa. Italicized ones are the to an extent ones.

The Fatui has connections with Mondstadt, mainly the Ordo Favonius.

200 years ago sure is an oddly specific duration in Lisa's story and this might be expanded in the Sumeru chapter.

A clarification to a subtly known fact : It is the combined power of all the adepti that revived Qiqi, not just Xiao.

WILD CARD

Almond Tofu is NOT made of tofu. And in original Chinese recipes, it's not even fuckin Almond, it's goddamn Apricot seeds. But in Genshin it is canon Almond.

Tag lists for my homies that I want to share this with. Tagging other authors or lore enthusiasts are also greatly appreciated:

@heiayen @dandelion-dreams @karemelle @jrnightingale @galassyalex @boxofteenageideas @chels-void @starconch @worldsfool

PS I'm sorry for suddenly tagging you guys, I just thought it would be nice to share these with some authors that I know or have seen me, please tell me if you want to be removed, s-sorry in advance 👉👈

[yae-35]

Yknow what its been a while since ive started some trouble in a fandom so here's today's rant. Apologies if its disorganized (as always. Im always tired)

If I had a coin for everytime I had to defend a female character from rabid fans who in the same breathe praise a male love interest for his dumb choices, I would be plenty rich

I am talking about the leads of "i got married to a villain"

Its so FUCKING annoying looking through comments made by immature probably-tweens who have not processed through their internal misogyny yet

Ok so let's present these two people and tell me who here deserves a cone of shame:

1) An actual *murderer* coerces a woman into engagement orginally bc she had *some* use and she was fun to scare (bc arsen's such a silly trickster 🤪); when she runs away, he does everything in his power to bring her back even outright saying he *might* hold a tighter grip on her when (NOT IF!!) she comes back

2) This random woman who gets caught in a crossfire and is forced in an engagement with someone who literally murdered her in a past life, runs away even though she knows that her murderer-husband is starting to like her because she fears that the puppy love he feels for her will fade

If you answered 2 then dingdingding, that means you need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if you actually hate regina because she's "dumb" or if it's just because arsen is conventially attractive and you think that redeems his bad character

Okok I know of you are going to come for me saying "oH nOOOOoooo arsen did that bc hes trying to protect her from his mother and all the other bad people 🥺" does REGINA know that? did arsen make it clear that he was trying to protect her? (before you answer this one take those reader's omniscience googles off)

let me remind you that she forced herself to get along with him to survive

Tldr: regina is NOT stupid and shes NOT weak. Youre just too used to badass female protagonists who know what to do in every single scenario, and youre too used to excusing male characters for their crusty behaviors just because they look like every other male character in a romance fantasy comic. Disagree? go fuck yourself I said what I said and nothing changes whatever you say. Its either you block me or I block you simple as that.

[yoditorian]

lacuna- part 8

din/reader

SURPRISE DROP!!!!! there’s only one more part left after this can you bELIEVE???? i’ll leave the emotional spiel until then and for now i’ll just apologise for the pain you’re about to go through in such a short amount of time💛

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst angst angst, some swears, no seriously this is just pain they don’t even bang, a confession

“Have you ever removed your helmet?”

“No.”

“Has it ever been removed by others?”

“Never.”

He’s lying.

Din has always been so careful with his words. Lying makes his voice tremble, it always has done. So he is careful, he never says more than he needs to, thinks on the phrasing of the promises he makes. He has only outright lied once in his adult life, to you. To protect you. Maybe that’s what keeps him steady now. Even with a blade at his throat and half the covert watching on. He does not falter.

You’d think they would make engine parts easier to clean. 

You’re perched on a crate in the hangar at your old work station, legs crossed beneath you, as you scrub away at the dull metal of the second-hand hyperdrive motivator that some vendor in a backwater scrapyard had, frankly, swindled you for. The stupid thing isn’t worth the credits you’d paid for it, but it’s still a hell of a lot more useful than the one that sits completely dead in the transport’s engine. But this was your decision, and you have to live with it.

What’s the alternative? Spend the rest of your life working your way around the galaxy, flying for whoever’s paying? Settling down in the little house on the edge of the Damerons’ farm? Going back to the New Republic? None of your options sound appealing enough to move on. You know this place, you know how it works. That’s enough.

“Wasn’t just me who stuck around either,” Ran’s voice pulls you from a particularly stubborn lump of grease, “You remember this one?”

Your heart leaps into your throat, when he’d told you he was expecting company you’d assumed it was another one of his contacts. A black market buyer or seller, they usually are. Not him. You were expecting anybody but Din.

His armour shines under the lights, sparks reflecting off the unpainted beskar. It’s beautiful. But your stomach lurches at how new it is, that his old armour had somehow gotten damaged enough that he needed an entirely new set. Except one of his thigh plates, dented to hell and back but still usable. There’s something of the man you know, the man you thought you knew, under all that.

The way Ran talks about you like you’re not even there is enough to calm you. He has no idea about your history with Din. Good, one less thing he can hold over your head. It’s far from the most dangerous situation you’ve ever been in, but you’re not about to let your guard down. Not with the team you know is heading out alongside him. Although nobody’s told you where they’re heading off to, which alone is enough to confirm that you wouldn’t approve of whatever it is. 

You’re grateful you’d tucked your old blanket into a drawer in your workstation, the hangar gets cold. Especially when the Crest returns and brings the chill of hyperspace with it. The knit of it loose with age now, but it’s the last of your life before. The last remnant of a time when you thought you knew who you were. 

You don’t expect Qin to be the prisoner they’d gone to break out. Although, now that you look back, who else could it have been? Who else did enough people on the station give enough of a shit about to warrant sending a team after? The old team, specifically.

Nobody follows him out. 

You’re moving towards the ship before you’re even really aware of yourself. Qin looks surprised to see you, but you bypass a greeting to glance into the Crest’s hull. Empty. Did no one make it out? Did Din-

He’s there, suddenly, walking down the ramp and catching the pouch of credits that Ran tosses him. You try to cover your sigh of relief with a cough, but you’re not sure how successful you are. 

“Something the droid said, about the hyperdrive. Could you come take a look?” Din turns to face you, and for a second it’s like neither of you left the station. You’re rocketed right back to before everything as you nod and pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. You don’t quite catch what Qin says when you disappear into the hull and unlatch the access panel, you’re not sure you really want to know, but you don’t miss the hatch closing up behind you.

“Mando?”

If Din hears you, he ignores your question, and the rumble of the engines lifting off almost takes you off your feet. You hurry to latch the access panel back up and wait until the ship steadies to shoot up the ladder and confront him. 

Stars. Stars and three X-Wings dropping out of lightspeed right ahead of you.

Oh.

“Tracking beacon. They wouldn’t have let me leave alive.” So he did hear you. 

He’s saved you. He risked precious seconds, ones he didn’t really have, just to make sure he got you out before the fighters got there. Something twinges in your chest when you think about your A-Wing sitting in the corner of the hangar, abandoned without a second thought and now blown to pieces. Suddenly your blanket feels a lot heavier around your shoulders. 

You go to sink into a passenger seat, before you notice a pair of big brown eyes staring up at you. A child, not like any species you’ve seen before, but a child nonetheless.

“Who’s this?” You hate the way your voice comes out all squeaky, like you’re afraid of the answer. You are, there’s no doubt about that. But you don’t need either of them to know that.

“He’s a friend.” 

There’s more to it than that, obviously, but you’re satisfied. One of your best friends is a six year old after all. 

The child chirps as you take the other passenger seat, holding out a little metal ball in his three fingers. He waves it around, desperate to show it to you. It’s the knob from the landing gear shift. You’d know it anywhere, you were the one to screw it in the first time. Now that you glance out at the console, there’s not anything that’s changed about it at all. Even your A-Wing, in all it’s years of service, had had bits and pieces pulled out and replaced, and that had been brand new when you got it. So why hasn’t the Razor Crest?

“What were you doing back there?” He asks, and you’ve half a mind to tell him it’s none of his business. But you’re tired, and he’s using that soft tone that you only ever hear in the dark. You’re powerless against it.

“I went back after the war. It’s good money,” You frown, “It was, anyway.”

“You’ve been there since then?”

“Everybody belongs somewhere, Mando.” You don’t spit the nickname the way you might have wanted to in the past, but he recoils like you do.

But you don’t belong there, you never did. No, you belong in that little room at the inn in Mos Espa. You belong in the sky in a starfighter. You belong in some busy Yavin marketplace chatting with your friend, with the kid on your hip and Din by your side. You belong wherever you want to, he knows that’s not Ran’s station. And Din? He belongs with you. But it’s too late now.

He punches in the nav code for Yavin IV without even needing to ask where you want to go. It stabs the knife a little deeper, the way he knows you so well. The way he always has. 

The child scrambles off of his seat and toddles over to yours, determined to pull himself up onto your lap by your bootlaces. Din doesn’t tell you not to let him up, so you haul the little green thing up and settle him on your thighs.

“Hi.” You introduce yourself, although it feels a little silly. You’re not sure how much he understands but he chirps in place of a reply before he gets distracted by the blanket around your shoulders. His little claws disappear into the wool and he drops his ball, utterly fascinated. You catch the discarded ball with your foot before it can roll too far and snap it up with your free hand. Din’s relieved you’re preoccupied with the little one, at least you don’t notice him staring. 

“Is there a-?” The child snores softly in your lap, buried in the blanket he’d pulled off of you and wrapped himself in. You don’t mind. It should be used to comfort a kid again, the same way it’s provided for you all these years. Letting this baby borrow it is the least you can do for him. The kid has a history, if the way he twitches in his sleep is any indication, and you’re not about to deny him something he might never have had. 

“In the hull, I’ll take him. You take the wheel?” Din easily, naturally, takes the child from you as you slide into the pilot’s seat. You don’t expect the easy domesticity to hurt quite so much. It feels like the galaxy is taunting you, forcing you to live a moment of a life you always knew you’d never get to have. You let yourself heave a shaky sigh when you hear Din’s feet hit the floor of the hull. 

It’s been a long, long time since you sat in control of the Razor Crest, but it’s just as familiar as the day you told him to take it. You flick the autopilot switch off. Any idiot can fly in hyperspace, all you need to do is keep the ship straight, but you need to feel the controls under your hands. Anything to distract from the gaping hole in your chest.

Din doesn’t ask to swap back when he returns. He only settles in your abandoned seat, and you can feel his eyes heavy on your back. If he has anything to say, he keeps it to himself.

You hope he doesn’t notice how the house is exactly the same as when he was last here, when you were last here. There’s a fine layer of dust that’s settled over the furniture but two sets of footprints, one about your size and another smaller set, lead to the fridge. Several new drawings have been stuck up among the others. You might cry if you were in different company. 

“Will he be alright?” You ask. Din had elected to leave the baby sleeping on the ship, as you’d touched down in a disused field across the track. He nods, trailing a gloved finger through the dust on the table. 

“Will you?”

He’s not expecting that. But maybe he should have. You’ve never not been worried about him, not since the first time you let him touch you, but it takes him out at the knees every time. Even when he’s pushed you away, even when you’ve been suffering yourself, you have always opened your arms to him. He doesn’t deserve it. 

“You could,” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you know you’ll regret it if he leaves before you ask, “Stay.”

Din reels back. He can’t. You know he can’t, but you asked anyway. It’s enough to make his blood boil. He’s not angry with you, he never is, it’s his fault he can’t say yes. That’s all he wants. To stay.

“There’s schools, and other kids. You’d both have protection here. You’d be safe.”

The sun starts to disappear behind Yavin, plunging the kitchen into a red glow the way it did last time, but there’s none of the peace it brought before. It glints off his armour as the hope in your eyes starts to die. 

“I love you.”

How can the words he’s always wanted to hear make him so angry?

“Please! Every time I think I’m over you, you come back and turn everything upside down again. Please just give me something.” You can’t hold back anymore. You can’t stand here and pour your heart and soul out to a man who says nothing.

“You already have far too much of me!” He’s never raised his voice at you before, that alone stuns you speechless. So you just stare, chest heaving, waiting for anything to break the tension. And Din does another thing he never has with you, he fills the silence. 

“You have my name. You have my creed. I have nothing left to give you.” 

He leaves without another word, for the last time, and you can’t help but heave a choking sob before he’s even shut the door. His absence is everywhere.

He hurts.

Hurts like nothing’s ever hurt before in his life. Walking away from you, disappearing out of the door and knowing it’s the last time. You won’t let him back in after this. 

He can’t get back to the Crest fast enough.

Din practically falls through the side entrance of the hull, ripping his armour off before the door’s even fully closed. His guts twist and his lungs burn and he wrenches his helmet off, sends it scattering into a corner. He’ll find it later. Right now he needs to find the hole he knows is burned into his flight suit. A blaster bolt, a stab wound- something. But he only finds old scars and skin where your touch still lingers. 

No smoking hole in his side. No blood or wound. Just the absence of something important in his chest. An unfilled space. A gap between his ribs, something missing. He knows what it is.

His veins are somehow filled with fire and empty at the same time, knowing that would be the last time. The last time he gets to see you. And even though the hatred was so clear on your face, even though you were merciless in the words you hurled at him, he still thought you were beautiful. He’ll always think you’re beautiful, no matter how angry you are. 

Because he loves you. And now it’s too fucking late.

-

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean​ 

[andromedasstarship]

faceless, nameless - the prologue

gif credit - @kylos 

pairing - kylo ren x reader 

warnings - canon-typical star wars violence, depictions of death/violence, fighting (verbal + physical), loosely implied physical intimacy (really up for interpretation here), angst, tension, implied mild love triangle, kylo ren betrays you 

summary - For four years, Kylo Ren considered you to be many things: his right hand, his confidant, an irreplaceable strategist, a friend and most importantly his equal. It all ended when he left you with a blaster shot to the stomach on a near deserted planet. On the brink of death, a rather dashing Resistance Pilot stumbled upon you, saving your life.  

Donning a mask to hide your identity, you’ve grown to become the most fearsome Resistance fighter they have; bewildering the First Order as to how you always seem to ruin their plans and avoid capture. Kylo Ren is a different man from when he left you two years ago, so how will he react when he accidentally finds you alive and well in Poe’s memories?

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3 here 

next chapter 

-----

the prologue - the sun 

On Starkiller Base, there were plenty of rumors as to why Kylo Ren kept you around. Some said it was because of your extensive training in hundreds of different languages, both spoken and signed. Others were sure it was due to your diplomatic upbringing that came with countless connections and near endless wealth. Or, maybe it was due to your more than adequate ability in battle that served him the most. Even some people thought you were a kept woman, who only existed as a way for Kylo Ren to blow off steam behind closed doors. Your favorite rumor was that you were actually a high-ranking Resistance spy who was tasked with infiltrating the First Order at the highest level and that Kylo Ren had become weak because of you. Had it not made you laugh so much the first time you heard it, Kylo would’ve crushed the windpipe of the lowly officer who created the elaborate lie. 

Of course, there were some truths in all the rumors, but none of them exciting. You were in fact trained in hundreds of languages and that training was a product of your diplomatic upbringing. You were exceptionally trained in various forms of combat, but that was something that came after you met Kylo; he had always been afraid of you not being able to properly defend yourself. You were most certainly not a kept woman, not that you and Kylo weren’t intimate, but certainly not in the type of dynamic people thought. You absolutely were not a Resistance spy, but even though neither of you said it aloud, Kylo Ren was definitely weak for you. 

How it actually happened is quite boring. The two of you met when Kylo had just turned 24, still more Ben Solo than Kylo Ren. You were recently 23 at the time, head of a diplomatic welcoming committee that met with Kylo as part of his first official diplomatic endeavor as ‘Kylo Ren’ the soon to be Commander of the entire First Order. He quickly became enamored with you and the way you commanded a team full of older men who clearly didn’t approve of your position- whether it was due to your age or gender he didn’t know- but still treated you with respect; in short, you radiated a confidence and power he desired. For you, it was quite the opposite, Kylo Ren still wasn’t sure of himself and at times still acted like the awkward lanky Jedi boy who had never spoken to a girl outside of school purposes. He was a fresh and welcomed change from all the annoyingly rich and cocky men you met with on a daily basis. 

Him and his team stayed on your home planet for nearly three months. Countless delegates from various planets flocked there for balls, meetings, conferences, and more. Your connections ran deep and you directly aided in the First Order’s successes during those three months. For the first few weeks, you and Kylo skirted around the obvious pull between the two of you. He wasn’t exactly sure how to ‘woo’ a girl, nor was he even sure if he was allowed to. His lack of action caused you to regularly doubt if he also felt the spark, or if it was completely one sided on your end. Weeks of longing gazes and accidental brushes of fingertips finally came to an end when the two of you were sitting on your private balcony, overlooking the well kept grounds, discussing the conference that had just ended. It was a roaring success for your planet as well as the First Order, both of you securing mining resources at an exceptional locked rate for a minimum of fifty basic years. You made the first move, he was irresistible under the moonlight, closing the space between you on your bench and pressing your lips directly on his. In his hesitation you thought you had completely misread the past month, but it was only a moment later that his hands found purchase in your hair, pulling you closer. The two of you were nearly inseparable for the rest of his trip. 

It was difficult, when he finally had to return to his new master and some massive ship that would be lightyears away from you. Unspoken promises were made the night before he left, declarations of love and devotion made behind closed doors. He was still far from truly becoming Kylo Ren, had copious amounts of training to finish before he would see himself be fitting for someone like you. If he was nothing else, Kylo was desperate for loyalty and when you watched his ship leave you had no doubts he would come back. 

And he did, nearly an entire standard year later. You almost didn’t recognize him when he stepped off his personal ship. All broad shoulders and shrouded in layers of black, with that intimidating mask covering his face. He was proving to be quite the warrior, the tales of him and the Knights he commanded reaching the farest edges of the galaxy. When the welcoming festivities had ended and he removed his mask in the privacy of your room, you found a mature face that had lost the softness you once knew. It was no matter to you, flinging yourself into his arms and vowing to never let go. 

This time, when he left, you went with him of course. Kylo had been shocked when Snoke approved it, but Snoke, ever the manipulator, knew the growing attachment between the two of you would inevitably prove to be valuable in controlling Kylo Ren. 

Moving into a giant spaceship wasn’t easy for you. The dark, cold and everlasting expanse of space was a sharp contrast to your warm ocean planet. You missed the sun on your face and your people, but when you vowed to never let him go, you meant it. As time went on, you grew accustomed to the ship and then eventually Starkiller- which was an entirely different battle, that piece of ice had you complaining for months-, and soon enough you couldn’t imagine a life not in space. 

Most of your days were monotonous, not that you minded. From the first day you stepped foot onto base, Kylo began training you himself. He never wanted you to feel as hopeless and afraid as he did when he woke up to his uncle ready to kill him in his sleep. So he trained you, and he trained you hard. You could wield a lightsaber well enough, as he argued that should anything ever happen to him- a thought you hated entertaining-, his saber would be the best weapon you had available. You were smaller than him, so close combat was a challenge but you learned to use your size and agility as an advantage. What you specialized in, was the staff. It allowed you to give a larger opponent at a safe range until it was possible to take them down. Kylo had a special one created just for you, with double edged electrical ends that you could easily turn on or off. It was rare that he actually let you on a battlefield with him, but when he did you were unstoppable. Not that you minded, you quite enjoyed working behind the scenes, forming battle plans and leading diplomatic endeavors for the First Order. 

Other than Snoke, no one out ranked you, not even Ren; a fact he had been extremely particular about after a visiting diplomat made the excuse of outright ignoring and belittling your presence in a meeting. You were equals in everything, even going as far as taking on the ‘Ren’ moniker. 

Among First Order subordinates, you were fairly well liked, and not just because it was unspoken that anyone who thought badly of you would probably die at Ren’s hand. The people actually liked you. Ren was cold, you were warm. When he was sharp, you were soft. It worked well, his ability to command troops and fuel the fires of war was complimented perfectly by your ability to talk nearly anyone to your side. 

You never wavered in your support for him, ever loyal by his side no matter what he did or who he killed or how many villages he burned to the ground. You stood next to him, never behind, when new planets presented themselves as potential allies. You watched from above when he burned villages, that dared aid the Resistance, to the ground. You cleaned and healed every single wound he received from Snoke’s brutal training. You held him together when the pull to the light made him feel weak and undeserving. 

Anyone could see that you were the sun that Kylo Ren revolved around.  

So, when he came back to Starkiller on that fateful day, covered in blood- your blood-, announcing that you were dead- and he was the one who killed you-, and that your name was never to be uttered on his base or by any First Order subordinate ever again, no one knew what to do. 

-----

 a/n - hi!!! im so excited for this story, ive never written star wars before and my lore knowledge isnt the best ill admit, so please excuse any minor bits of pieces i may get wrong! comments/likes/reblogs always appreciated. if you wanna be added to the taglist, just ask and ill make one! :D 

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own star wars or any of the character involved in it. 

[collapse-and-comfort]

Bonjour! I gotta say, I love your work, especially when it comes to sedation whumps. I know you've gotten several lately, but I can request a friend/whumpee one where the whumpee is afraid of needles? Thank you so much!!!

Bonjour! *gets the song from Beauty and the Beast stuck in my head* Thank you for this ask! I’ve combined this ask with another one about fear of needles, with the addition that the whumpee freaks out when approached with a needle. I feel like I am just so completely spoiled rotten! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, because I certainly did! There are five segments and they range from fluff to angst!

(CW: Needles, hospitalization, more needles)

I.

It was a standard inoculation, but Whumpee’s friend sat next to them without them even having to ask. Friend knew whumpee would be too embarrassed to do so. They didn’t make fun of Whumpee for being childish and they didn’t try to tell them “It’s just a shot.”

They felt Whumpee stiffen as a nurse entered the room. Though the nurse was personable, Whumpee remained tacit, only nodding or shaking their head when the nurse asked them questions. The nurse didn’t take offense.

“Yeah,” they said with a resigned but amiable sigh. “No one likes these.”

The nurse hitched up Whumpee’s sleeve and swabbed a spot on their upper arm. Whumpee’s breath hitched and they looked at Friend, who was ready with a warm, reassuring smile.

“Can you hold that there?” The nurse asked, nodding at the sleeve. Whumpee took a deep breath and did as they were asked.

When the nurse brought the needle into view, Friend saw the blood drain from Whumpee’s face and for a horrible moment, Friend thought Whumpee was going to be ill.

“Are you okay?” Friend asked as they leaned closer in what they hoped was a comforting gesture. The paper under them crinkled as they did. Whumpee swallowed, but didn’t answer. Worse yet, Whumpee was shaking.

“Could we get a sec?” Friend asked.

“Of course,” the nurse nodded in understanding, and stepped back.

“I’m right here, Whumpee,” Friend said as they slipped their hand into Whumpee’s. “I know this sucks. Just keep a hold of my hand and it’ll be over quick. I promise.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it felt like an eternity to Friend; they couldn’t imagine how it felt to Whumpee. The nurse gave fair warning before approaching and before administering the injection. Whumpee just gave a feeble nod before closing their eyes and burying their head in Friend’s shoulder. Friend made no complaint when Whumpee squeezed their hand so hard it hurt.

The nurse told them to take their time before they left the room. Slowly, Whumpee settled and they sat upright.

“Sorry,” they whispered.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Friend said.

Whumpee hung their head, regardless.

“Come on,” Friend said as they leaned their head toward Whumpee and smiled as winningly as they could. “I’ll get you a lollipop.”

Whumpee rested their forehead against Friend’s and laughed. It was stilted and breathy, but it sounded sweet to Friend.

II.

The table had been in the safe house since...well, nobody knew. But its sturdiness was never in question. Whumpee’s teammates put them on the table and gathered around; all of them knew what they were supposed to do. Medic was new to the team and they were especially thankful to have been assigned to such a cohesive unit.

“That’s gonna scar,” Whumpee groaned. They forced laughter from their lungs.

“Quit your bitching, you’ve had worse,” Friend told them as they placed a hand on one of Whumpee’s shoulders and smiled down at them. Whumpee let out another rough chuckle and looked up at their friend. Medic smiled to themself. They were grateful for the rapport Whumpee and Friend had.  

Medic sheared away Whumpee’s shirt and began to clean the wound. Friend and Whumpee kept up their banter until Medic approached with a suture kit. They apologized for not having anything to give Whumpee for the pain. Whumpee went still and fear worked its way into their features as they inched backward on the tabletop. Medic began to offer some reassuring words, but they stopped when they saw the seriousness that stole across Friend’s face.

“Hey, hey, hey. I know you don’t like needles, bud,” Friend said. “But we’ve got to get this done.”

Whumpee’s breath escalated and they looked pleadingly from Friend to Medic, then back to Friend. They shook their head no.

“You said it yourself, Friend,” Whumpee said as they tried to smile. It looked more like they were baring their teeth. “I’ve had worse.”

Medic could see Whumpee struggling to stay in control of themself, but they didn’t seem to be able to. They begged and shook, but they didn’t take their eyes off the implements in Medic’s hands. Friend looked equally helpless as they and the rest of the team were forced to keep them still.

“Shh,” Friend said. “Look at me, look at me. Just breathe.”

Whumpee had no choice but to listen to Friend and endure.

It seemed unfathomable to them that such a small piece of metal should cause so much anxiety in Whumpee; it certainly didn’t align with the impression they gave. Medic did their best to work quickly and confidently, though each time they pierced Whumpee’s flesh with the curved needle, Whumpee would flinch and let out a small, choked sound. Each time, the team -and Friend in particular -would look deeply saddened as they hushed Whumpee.

III.

Friend was trying to make sure things didn’t go from bad to worse. They sat next to Whumpee on one of the day room’s couches, trying to calm their friend. Whumpee had been tacit and on edge all day, but now they were outright agitated and Friend didn’t know if they’d be able to help Whumpee the way Whumpee had helped them during their hospitalization.

“Do you want me to get someone for you?” Friend ventured.

Whumpee’s response was something like a snarl as they stood a little too quickly. That drew the staff’s attention.

Shit! Friend thought. They tried to assuage Whumpee, but their doctor came over. Friend eyed the orderlies who had also taken notice. Please just let them help you if you won’t let me.

The tension grew. The doctor offered Whumpee some pills, but that “calming” option seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. The anger in Whumpee’s voice sounded hollow, but the fear was almost tangible as it began to quaver. And then came the point of no return.

“Get away from me!”

Despite the fact one of the orderlies had admonished Friend to step away from Whumpee, they stayed put. Whumpee had confided their fear of needles to Friend and Friend knew that the potential of being forcibly sedated was riling Whumpee even more. Friend knew they had to do something to prevent the completion of some shitty self-fulfilling prophecy.

“They just want to help,” Friend reminded Whumpee quietly. They put a hand on Whumpee’s shoulder and

Pain exploded in Friend’s nose. It sent a shockwave through their skull, and blood spurted down over their lips and chin, and onto their white shirt. Their hands shot to their nose and they groaned. They felt arms leading them away from the impending fight and they allowed it. The only thing they were aware of beyond their pain was Whumpee’s growing panic.

Friend kept their head tilted back, but they kept their watering eyes and their dizzied focus on Whumpee. Friend couldn’t see the needle, but they knew the doctor must have been holding one. Whumpee backed up until the back of their legs bumped the couch. Whumpee ran forward. They were caught, then dragged backward and down.

Friend watched Whumpee buck and shout hysterically as the orderlies held them, and the doctor came closer with the sedative.

I’m sorry, Friend thought as Whumpee let out a hoarse, broken sound like a trapped animal.

Friend felt anger well within them when, after Whumpee’s struggle began to cease, they heard an orderly’s attempt at comfort.

“There, not so bad, huh?”

IV.

Friend’s shift ended and they made their way to Whumpee’s room. When they heard the commotion coming from that direction, they sped the rest of the way, but the shock of what they found halted them. Whumpee was bleeding from their hand, the evidence of which dappled the bed and floor. A streak of it also stood out on the wall. Whumpee stood, surrounded by three orderlies and a nurse, with their back flat against the wall. Friend followed Whumpee’s wide gaze to the hypodermic the nurse held in their hand as they and the orderlies advanced on them.

Mystery solved.

Whumpee had been scared to death of needles since they were kids.

”Whumpee?” Friend said. Whumpee looked at Friend, then immediately back to the people around them. Whumpee sank down and cowered. Friend felt a pang in their heart at the way Whumpee’s lower lip trembled and the way their breathing hitched. This had to stop. Now. Friend brushed past the orderlies and stood between them and Whumpee.

“Just back off a minute,” they asked their colleagues. They did their best to keep a protective growl out of their voice “Give them some space?”

They did as they were asked and Friend crouched so they were eye-level with Whumpee.

“Pulled out your IV, huh?”

Whumpee’s eyes flitted over the figures a short distance behind Friend before settling on them. They swallowed hard and nodded as they let their gaze drift down to the ground.

“I just...I- they -they-”

“Woah, woah, woah, it’s okay, Whumpee,” Friend said. Their heart went out to Whumpee. They hated to see their friend’s face so flushed with embarrassment and agitation. “Another nightmare? The needle?”

Whumpee gave another nod and pulled in a shaky breath.

“I don’t want that,” they said. “I can be calm. I’m calm. Please.”

Whumpee looked up at Friend with tired eyes. The fear remained, but Whumpee was lucid.

“Okay,” Friend said. They gave Whumpee a soft smile and extended a hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

After staring at their hand for a moment, Whumpee accepted it.

V.

Friend forced themself to look Whumpee in the eye when men on either side of Whumpee took them roughly by the arms. Whumpee didn’t struggle, didn’t flinch; they looked at Friend in a way that made their stomach twist in guilt.

“You know what they did to me,” Whumpee said. Their voice was barely above a whisper but a part of Friend wished they’d screamed at them.

“I didn’t know how else to help you,” Friend said as they dropped their gaze and hoped that on some level, Whumpee could understand. Friend didn’t dare hope for forgiveness. Because they did know. “I’m sorry.”

“We’ll take good care of them,” Whumper said as they entered the room.

Whumpee lunged forward, but the men holding them seemed prepared for the ferocity of the motion. Unfazed by Whumpee’s outburst, Whumper greeted them as though they were a long lost friend and Whumpee cursed and strained to get loose. It was more energy than Friend had seen them use in the past week.

“Don’t suppose you’re going to come with us willingly? Let us fix you?” Whumper asked as they looked appraisingly at Whumpee and produced a small black case.

“Go fuck yourself,” Whumpee spat.

Whumper shrugged and unzipped the case. They withdrew a loaded syringe and removed the cap before holding it up. Friend’s heart sank further when Whumpee’s eyes grew huge and their rage and defiance disappeared.

“What is that?” Whumpee asked. They tried to take a step backward, but was held in place.

“Something to make you a little more docile,” Whumper said as a grin bloomed on their face and they took another step forward.

Whumpee tried to pull back again, but to no avail.

“Oh, yeah. You’ve got a thing about needles, huh? Can’t say I blame you.”

Whumpee eyed the needle and began to slump in the grips of the men restraining them. Whumper stepped to within arm’s reach of Whumpee.

“Stop,” Whumpee breathed. “Just stop and I’ll...I’ll come with you.”

Whumper moved the syringe back and forth as though they were mulling over Whumpee’s words, but they clucked their tongue and shook their head.

“You have no idea how much your little stunt cost us. So you are coming back, but you’re going to be doped out of your mind. I’m not taking any chances.”  

Whumpee began to panic and Friend would have given anything to comfort them. They could only watch as Whumpee broke down and begged and weakly tried to squirm away. Fear and whatever ailment had been dogging them took their toll. Whumper’s men pinned Whumpee to the ground with ease

“Nononononono,” Whumpee chanted as they fought. “Please!”

Whumpee cried out when Whumper stuck the needle into them.

“I’m sorry, Whumpee,” Friend said as Whumpee’s eyes glazed over and their body went still. “I’m so sorry.”

[kinkykinard]

Four Minutes - Epilogue

Fandom: 9-1-1. Pairing: Buddie. Word Count: 2212. Genre: angst. Rating: Teen+. Summary: Eddie has a choice to make after nearly losing Buck in the explosion.  Spoilers for 2x17 and 2x18. Warning(s): mentions of Buck’s injuries, minor medical details. Note: Back by popular demand, the thrilling conclusion to my first ever Buddie fic.  Beta’d by @starshiphufflebadger​.  AO3 link here.  Part 1 link here.

Four minutes was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

It had passed in the blink of an eye compared to what had followed, and as he sat beside Buck’s bed keeping silent vigil, Eddie was reminded of just how bad he was at waiting.  Perhaps more accurately, how bad he was at knowing when to stop waiting.  

He’d almost lost Buck earlier that night.  He’d watched the truck get thrown up into the air and consumed by flames, looked on as Buck was ejected from the cab only to be stopped before he could roll too far as the ladder pinned him at the ankle.  He’d heard the blast, Buck’s screaming, the exhausted whimpers of agony and the frighteningly quiet staccato of Buck’s tired heart as he’d assessed him afterward.  Eddie had tasted blood when his anxiety had threatened to overwhelm him and he’d bitten his cheek to stop the tears that stung his eyes.

Eddie had waited.  He’d waited for the rest of the team to arrive and accompany him into the hospital even though he’d wanted nothing more than to chase the trauma team through the sliding doors, to cling onto the stretcher and not let Buck out of his sight.  He’d waited for news from the OR, a cup of bitter, burnt coffee cooling in his hand as the ticking of the clock on the wall nearly drove him mad.  He’d waited, albeit feeling a little less wound up than he had before, after the surgeon had come to tell them Buck was going to pull through.  He’d waited as Buck woke up in recovery, alone, and was transferred to a private room for observation.  He’d waited as everyone else went in to see Buck, just for a moment, to wish him well until Buck was so tired out he fell into a deep sleep.

With everyone gone, Eddie made his way into Buck’s room.  The nurse that came by to check Buck’s vitals shortly after Eddie had settled into a chair next to Buck’s bed looked like she wanted to shoo him off, but for whatever reason she thought better of it and left him to his vigil.  He settled into the hard plastic chair next to the bed and knotted his fingers in his lap to quell the desperate urge to reach out and hold Buck’s hand.

As Buck slept, snoring softly, Eddie watched the saline in the IV bag over Buck’s bed drip slowly into the drip chamber, his mind far away.  He thought about the last time he’d waited on something and about how much it had cost him.  He’d waited for weeks to let Shannon back into Christopher’s life.  He’d pushed her away, compartmentalized his feelings, avoided the difficult conversations.  In the end, by the time he’d decided he was ready to face her, to face the future, she’d had enough of the waiting.  She’d moved on without him, or perhaps in spite of him.

And then she’d died right in front of him.

But it was different with Buck.  It was different, and it had the potential to wind up being far worse.  With Shannon, Eddie had gotten his feelings out, had left things in her hands, had tried, and while it hadn’t absolved him of all of the hurt he’d caused her in the past, it had given him some measure of closure.  With Buck, though, he hadn’t said a word.  He hadn’t even hinted that he had anything more than platonic feelings for him.  He’d never given himself the chance - given Buck the chance - to pursue anything.

And then Buck had nearly died right in front of him.

His PTSD reared its ugly head at the reminder; the thought that it was all happening again was a wake-up call that threatened to pitch him into a panic attack.  Eddie gritted his teeth, staring determinedly ahead, knowing that if he so much as blinked he would see Shannon’s lifeless body; of Buck’s body in her place.  He fought to keep his breathing steady, glancing up at the monitor screen over Buck’s bed to help himself focus.  It was hypnotizing watching the rhythmic dance of waveforms on Buck’s ECG as they appeared and disappeared again, and eventually Eddie felt himself settle a little bit.  

Buck was okay.  He had a long road to recovery ahead of him, but he was okay, and Eddie was determined to be there for him, to walk that path with him.  Eddie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, turning his attention back to Buck.  Buck’s features were slack, his lips slightly parted as he slept off the anaesthetic.  He was breathing steadily and Eddie tried to breathe with him as a new and different but no less frightening set of emotions filled him.  

Eddie’s heart nearly stopped as Buck made a soft groaning noise.  He jumped to his feet, planting his hands on the railing beside Buck’s bed, waiting for him to wake up.  He wanted - needed - Buck to know he wasn’t alone.  Eddie hated how long he’d been forced to stand back before running in to help Buck back at the scene and he wasn’t going to let another moment go by with Buck feeling like there was no one there when he needed them.

Eddie waited tensely for a few moments, his gaze fixed on Buck, but nothing changed.  Buck was still asleep, clearly having made the noise unconsciously.  Eddie sagged, relieved that he could put off the conversation he needed to have for just a little bit longer.  He’d made up his mind, he was going to tell Buck, but it didn’t mean he was comfortable with the notion just yet.  He’d never been particularly good at being vulnerable, and opening himself up to anyone, even Buck, was terrifying.

After a few minutes passed without any change in Buck’s condition, Eddie sat back down, shifting the chair slightly so he was closer to the bed.  He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool metal of the bed rail, closing his eyes.  He was pleasantly surprised that instead of the horror show he was expecting to play out in his mind, there were some happy memories instead.  The first time he’d seen Buck laugh the day they’d pulled the live grenade charge out of a man’s leg.  It was the first time he’d seen Buck’s vulnerability, too.  Sure, he could feel it rolling off the guy in waves with how threatened he’d been by Eddie’s mere presence at first, but the look they’d exchanged just before Eddie had grasped the ordnance to remove it had spoken volumes.

“Eddie?”

Eddie’s head snapped up at the sound of his name on Buck’s lips.  He met the other man’s confused expression with a small smile, leaning in to help Buck focus through the morphine fog.

“Hey, welcome back,” Eddie said softly.  “How’re you feeling?”

“Fuzzy,” Buck replied, slurring slightly.

Eddie chuckled, reaching out before he could stop himself to fix the neckline of Buck’s gown where it had come undone and was sagging.  He thought it might’ve been his imagination, but he could have sworn Buck had relaxed back into the bed a fraction as Eddie’s fingers brushed his shoulder.  Emboldened by Buck’s apparent trust, Eddie reached for Buck’s hand, giving it a squeeze.  Buck smiled, his eyes drifting closed.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Buck murmured.

The words held so much meaning, but Eddie wasn’t ready to let himself hope that he was reading it correctly.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be more than here right now,” Eddie assured him.  “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry.”

Eddie shook his head, still floored by Buck’s selflessness even though it was already one of the things he loved most about the other man.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Eddie chided him gently.  “It wasn’t your fault.  I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Buck blinked a couple of times to clear his vision, glancing down at his splinted leg.  He wiggled his toes, wincing as it caused pain to flare in his ankle.

“Mostly okay, anyway,” Buck amended.

As Buck turned to meet Eddie’s gaze, Eddie felt an uncomfortable swell in his vulnerability.  He was looking for an excuse, any excuse, to look away when the IV pump next to the bed sounded an alarm, startling both of them.  Taking the chance to break eye contact, Eddie let go of Buck’s hand and stood, popping open the infusion chamber on the pump and carefully tapping at a single small air bubble that had been obscuring the sensor.  The pump fell silent again and Eddie closed the chamber back up, deciding to stay standing because it made him feel a little less claustrophobic.

Hazarding a glance down, Eddie found Buck watching him.  Buck’s expression was thoughtful, calculating but blunted by the lingering cobwebs of the anaesthesia and pain medication.  Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie saw Buck’s hand come up; a sign for him to take it again.  Eddie chewed his lip for a moment before relenting and taking a seat again, reaching out once more for Buck’s hand.

“Are you okay?”  Buck asked.

Eddie shook his head, smiling a little incredulously.

“You had a ladder truck dropped on  your ankle a few hours ago and you’re asking if I’m okay,” he reiterated.

Buck shrugged, squeezing Eddie’s hand, stroking a thumb over the back of it.

“I can tell something’s on your mind,” Buck explained lightly.  “My leg may be broken, but my empathy still works.  What’s going on?”

Eddie set his jaw, glancing away for a moment again to strengthen his resolve.  He wasn’t sure he could look at Buck when he said it.  He didn’t think he could bear being face to face if Buck didn’t return his feelings.  Reflecting back on everything that had happened that night, though, he borrowed strength from Buck’s show of courage, will, and resilience.

“This, all of it, scared me so badly because I didn’t know if you were going to make it, and that I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you,” Eddie said in a rush, his words nearly garbled by his haste to say them before his determination dried up.  He hadn’t planned on leading with an outright confession when he finally found the courage to admit his feelings, but he’d been too shaken by nearly losing Buck to wait a moment longer or pussyfoot around.  “I love you.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was the suddenly faster chirping of Buck’s heart monitor.  Eddie frowned, concerned by the new onset of tachycardia, his mind combing through possible causes for it - pain, pulmonary embolism, anaphylactic reaction to one of his medications.  Buck squeezed his hand again, insistently, and Eddie forced himself to look Buck in the eye.

“You served multiple tours in an active war zone, you rappel down cliffs, you run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out,” Buck said, a quiet incredulity weighing on his words.  “But you were afraid to tell me you love me?”

Eddie’s entire world nearly crashed down at that moment as Buck’s glaringly obvious failure to return the sentiment hung in the air between them.  His own heart rate skyrocketed and a strong feeling of fight-or-flight gripped him.  Buck’s soft, wordless noise of disbelief did nothing to help his nerves.

“Eddie,” Buck said so softly that Eddie thought he might crack.  “I love you, too.”

Eddie couldn’t hear anything over the rush of his own heartbeat in  his ears for a moment as Buck’s words registered.  It took him several long seconds to process what just happened and when he did, he could barely believe it.  

“Yeah?”  He asked, his voice reedy, strained.

Buck chuckled, propping himself on an elbow in an attempt to get closer to Eddie.

“Yeah,” he assured him emphatically.  “Yeah.”

The tears came then and Eddie had not been expecting them.  Relief wasn’t something he was used to crying over, but he hadn’t realized until that moment the enormity of the weight that had been on his shoulders as he’d carried those words unsaid around with him.  He laughed softly, almost slightly hysterically, and let out a long, shaky breath.

“Come here,” Buck said gently, patting the bed beside him.

Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice.  He stood, letting go of Buck’s hand just long enough to drop the bed rail before perching himself on the edge of the mattress.  Buck’s palm landed on his thigh, its weight warm and grounding, and Eddie covered it with a hand of his own.  They sat in a companionable silence for a while, Buck’s eyes fluttering closed as the exhaustion from the day’s events caught up with him and Eddie watching him closely, memorizing his face, the moment, replacing the fear and anxiety from earlier with something decidedly better.  

“Glad we had this talk,” Buck said thickly a while later, his head lolling as the morphine reared its head again.  

Eddie chuckled, reaching out to tuck Buck’s blankets in around him to keep him comfortable while he slept.  He reached up, brushing a loose curl away from Buck’s forehead, trailing his fingertips down Buck’s cheek, cupping his face gently.

“Me too.”

[beevean]

Ok so here's the big one: Symphony of the Night?

Boy, where do I begin.

So, this game had a weird curve. When I started it at the beginning of the year, it was underwhelming. In retrospect, I think it's because you spend too much time going through a linear path with a very weak Alucard - incidentally, I gave up just before the first brancing path, deciding whether to visit the Caverns or the Royal Chapel first.

Then I tried it again a few days ago, still hated it, and I was this close to giving up because, no matter what, I couldn't see the brilliance that everyone promised me. But then... I can't explain why, but going to the Caverns before the Chapel changed everything. Maybe I leveled up enough, maybe I was starting to get into the rhythm. The game had finally clicked, and by the time I got the bat and the entire castle was at my feet, I couldn't stop anymore. In fact, even though I guessed my next destination, I kept getting distracted because it felt like every room had something valuable to find. Oh, so this is why this game is so beloved: it just keeps rewarding you and your fine gaming insticts.

The inverted castle was another dip, though. It wasn't outright awful, but it was tiring, because of the level design that required tons of super jumps and turning into bat/mist and how overwhelming it was to have the ability to explore everything at once. Also the game became a literal cakewalk as soon as I found the Alucard Shield, which is the first time in my life I've ever felt like I was too OP :P the Alucard Sword is a little less disgusting, at least. And I didn't even use the spells because they registered less than half the time lol. But still, the entire time I was playing, my thought was “I can’t wait to get to the end because I’m going to start from scratch”.

Anyway, if there's a word I could use to describe SOTN, it's complex. Too complex at times. There is so much stuff you can find, so many secrets, so many ways to break the game, so many places to visit, and then there's the RPG elements like leveling up and juggling between increasing stats and effects of an item... as I mentioned, I felt overwhelmed more than once. It doesn't help that the castle opens up all of the sudden with little to no indication to where you’re supposed to go first - from what I've heard, the original Metroid did the same, which is also why some people say it's confusing (at least SOTN has a pretty good map). This is not a complete negative, though, because it also means it's very versatile for every player's style. You can prefer stronger weapons, prefer even stronger items that you can only use once, use potions that increase stats, try special moves, try spells, power up your alternative forms, level up familiars... Or just stick to your guns as long as possible and make the game a little harder when it starts to become too easy. The choice, like the choice of your next path, is yours. After all, I know now that you’re supposed to go to the Chapel before visiting the Caverns, but doing the opposite gave me a new appreciation for the game :)

As for the technical side, I can't say anything new. The game looks stunning, and has aged like the fine wine Dracula was drinking in the intro, something that cannot be said for most games that came out in 1997 :P I love 5th gen spritework, I love Alucard's 30-frame walking cycle with his swishing cape (bonus point if you're wearing the transparent one), I love how cleverly the primitive 3D was used, and some rooms left me slackjawed, like the 3D church in the Chapel and that gorgeous waterfall <3

And I thought Super Castlevania IV and Bloodlines were flexing.

And the music, oh I don't know, I just had Requiem for the Gods and Lost Painting playing in loop in my brain for the past days, no big deal :V there's something to be said for an OST that goes from rock to groovy to baroque to goosebumps to what even is this but I love it nonetheless. But if I list every track that I liked, I might as well link the entire playlist :P even the quality of the soundfont is excellent, still obviously MIDI but not in a grating or outdated way, it just gives the tracks a slightly nostalgic feeling. I think they would have hit me in the feels if I played this when I was a kid.

oh right, and screw that moving statue in the clock tower.

So, in short, my first playthrough was... an experience. I really can’t say I like this game more than Super Metroid, which captured me even during my first, 4:44 long playthrough (I clocked at 9 hours here, which means that if there were only a castle I would have taken around the same time to finish). But I’m really eager to try again with a fresh outlook - this is definitely a game you won’t get tired of easily.

[sunnydaisy1]

Arts and Crafts

SAM WILSON X READER

A/N: there is not enough sam fics on tumblr so here I am. I haven’t edited this i am too tired for life right now. Also please send me requests for marvel especially peter parker, sam wilson, bucky, steve and scott.

You yawned as you walked into the main kitchen and living area the avengers shared. Tony had sent a message round to everyone telling them to gather here and considering that the time was 7 o'clock in the morning you weren't best pleased. Nat was leaning against one of the counters and snorted at your sleepy expression as you walked past her to the coffee machine. You glared at her and returned to your coffee making, rubbing your eyes as the machine started pouring caffeine into your mug. Once the steaming beverage was done, you sleepily dragged yourself to the breakfast bar and plopped down into one of the stools. At that moment, Steve, Sam and Bucky entered the room, obviously having just finished a group workout as they were all freshly showered and wafting man smell everywhere. You rolled your eyes at their annoyingly energetic selves and sipped your coffee. When Sam noticed your slumped form at the bar he smiled softly and walked over to you, scooting into the seat next to you and reaching out to take a sip of your coffee. Unfortunately for you, you were too late to prevent the smirking soldier from slurping a large proportion of your beverage. You grumbled and glared at Sam who passed you back your mug with a cheeky grin. "You look cheery this morning." He said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning onto the counter. "Well sorry mr early bird but some of us don't appreciate being woken up at the crack of dawn for a meeting stark called and hasnt even turned up for yet." You snarked back, causing a chuckle to fall from Sam, "It's quarter past 7 love, dawn was 3 hours ago." You glared at him for what felt the 100th time that morning and felt a small heat rise to your face as you saw the obnoxiously handsome smirk Sam held on his face and the way his biceps were bulging as they leaned on the bar top. "Same thing." You mumbled, draining the last drops of your coffee. Tony walked in and Steve grumbled a 'finally' as you all turned your attention to the billionaire carrying some pastries. He dumped them in front of you and Sam and you both instantly reached in to pull out breakfast. "What's this all about then Stark?" Sam asked as he chewed on his pecan twist. "Ive gathered you all here because we have got a charity event today for some of the schools in the area. You all will be hosting an activity for the kids. We have 2 hours until they all arrive." You grimaced as you vaguely remembered Tony mentioning the charity event a few weeks back but you had been so busy on missions recently you had forgotten. Judging by the similar looks on the teams' faces around the room, you gathered that the event had also slipped their minds. "So... Steve and Bucky you will be hosting the self defense taster down in the gym, a few agents will also be down there to ensure you aren't teaching them anything too aggressive..." Tony continued to list off everyone in the room and ticked off his checklist, "Okay and finally, Wilson and Agent L/N will be hosting arts and crafts in the downstairs hall." At once Sam spoke up, "wait why have I got stuck with arts and crafts?" You chuckled at his distraught expression, he obviously thought he was above painting and colouring. "Why you scared of a lil glitter Sammy?" You giggled and he glared at you, hating the effect that nickname had on him. "No...I just think my talents lie elsewhere." He replied causing you to snort. "Well suck it up Wilson." Tony replied and you saw Bucky and Steve wetting themselves on the other side of the room. Sam had obviously noticed too as he had a huge frown on his face and was scowling at them. "Alright everybody go get ready, all your supplies should be in the rooms already. And remember, 2 hours until they arrive." You sighed and stood up, placing your mug in the dishwasher. Sam was waiting by the door, and you nudged him as you both walked out, "Come on Wilson, cheer up, your stuck with me for 6 hours." Sam groaned and rolled his eyes, "Oh great." When you both reached the room, your eyes widened when you looked at the large pile of boxes brimming with craft supplies stacked in the middle of the room. "Jeeezz." Sam breathed out, walking over to inspect the mountain. You both opened the cardboard box lids and scanned the supplies, "Where do we even start?" You asked, baffled at the amount Tony had ordered. "Guess we just start with one box and empty them until it's all set up." Sam replied and you nodded, tying your hair up into a ponytail. Almost 2 hours later, the room had been transformed into a neatly organised explosion with paint, pencils, glitter glue and many other supplies on each table. "Okay, we have 5 minutes until the kiddos arrive." Sam stated, checking the watch on his wrist. "Cool, I'm gonna grab us some water and snacks from the kitchen. Try not to break anything while I'm gone." You teased and Sam playfully rolled his eyes, "Alright." When you arrived back into the room, arms loaded with bags of snacks, you immediately laughed at how awkward Sam looked surrounded by little kids all badgering him with questions. You quickly distributed the food into one of the empty cardboard boxes in the corner and walked over to Sam, giggling at his wide eyed expression of fear. "Hey everyone!" You said loudly, gathering all the little kids attentions, "I'm Y/N and this is Sam. We are gonna be doing arts and crafts with you today, how does that sound?" At once all the children cheered and you glanced at Sam who stood in awe and fear. "Okay then, lets all sit down at a table and we can start." The kids all ran to a chair and you walked over to Sam, "you okay Sammy?" He nodded slowly, "I don't know what I'm meant to do, they're so small." You chuckled and took his hand in yours, dragging him over to a table. "It'll be fine just relax, they can smell fear," You whispered. Soon, each child was creating some sort of masterpiece and you were sitting with a small group of kids who were colouring. "Wow Amy I love your dog it looks awesome." You commented, making the shy little girl beam. "Thankyou." She replied and you smiled, carrying on colouring a picture you had attempted to draw of an elephant. Glancing up to check on Sam, you looked to see he had a girl sat on his thigh as they both coloured something. You felt your heart begin to swell and butterflies fill your stomach as you watched the adorable scene. The girl was happily chatting away to Sam and he was nodding, laughing every so often and replying to many of the kids around the table. "Could you please pass me the green?" Tom asked, one of the boys sitting opposite Sam. "Yep, there you go." the soldier replied and Tom thanked him before returning to his drawing. The little girl sat on Sam's thigh tapped his arm and he looked down to her, "I want to give this to my Mum when I go home." Gracie said and Sam nodded, "that's very nice of you." Gracie blushed a little and grinned, "you should give your drawing to Y/N, then she could put it on her fridge like my mummy does." Sam glanced down at the image Gracie had drawn of Sam and you together that he was colouring. "I don't know about that..." He said and Gracie frowned, "you should give it to her and then she'll want to marry you and stick all your drawings on the fridge." Sam choked on his air a little, "why would she want to marry me because I gave her our picture?" Gracie sighed as if Sam had just asked the most obvious question there was, "because she loves you." "What? No she doesn't Gracie." Sam replied and Gracie shook her head, "Mummy told me when people love each other very much they look at each other in a special way and you and Y/N look at each other like that." Sam gaped at the little smiling girl on his lap and struggled to form any words at how outright she was being, "Oh urh no I dont think so." Gracie then giggled and said, "Plus Y/N was looking at your bum earlier so she definitely wants to marry you." Sam felt heat rise to his face and Gracie shrugged, not phased at all by their conversation. The pair continued to colour together and the topic quickly changed to the pasta Gracie had eaten last night for dinner. When the last few kids were leaving the craft room as it had eventually reached 3pm, you sighed and groaned at the mess of glitter and pens all around you. "I do not want to clear this up." You stated and Sam nodded, standing up from his chair, "Neither, I never knew kids could be this messy." You chuckled and glanced at the soldier walking towards you, instantly breaking out into laughter when you noticed the large red streak of paint across his cheek. At once Sam frowned and stopped next to you, "What?" You giggled and wiped your thumb across his cheek, showing him the red paint he had somehow managed to acquire. "Oh..." Sam said, rubbing the paint with the back of his hand but managing to just smudge it more. You chuckled and shook your head, "Sorry Sammy but your just making it worse." He huffed in frustration and put his hand down, giving up with cleaning his face, "Oh well, I'll wash it off later." Eventually, the room was turned back into a presentable state with only specks of glitter littered across the floor that you knew would be impossible to remove. You yawned and walked to the entrance, followed closely by Sam who turned the light off. "Im exhuasted." He said, trying to stifle a yawn. "Me too, I'm gonna head up for a shower." You replied and Sam nodded, "Alright, I'll see you later, chinese for dinner." You softly smiled and both walked to your seperate rooms, ready to wash off the paint and glitter encrusted into your skin. When you had given up on trying to remove all the glitter from your hair in the shower, you headed into your room and huddled under your duvet, wanting to catch up on some netflix before dinner. A knock at the door interrupted your series selection and you looked up to see Sam standing at your door, a small smile on his face. "Hey y/n." He said, closing the door behind him. "Hey Sammy, did you need anything?" You asked, confused why he looked so nervous. "Oh uh no, I just wanted to give you something." He replied, walking closer to you as you stood up and put your laptop on your cabinet. "Oh okay." You said, smiling under Sam's soft gaze. He handed you a sheet of paper and you frowned in confusion before turning it over and giggling. Sam rubbed the back of his neck nervously watching your eyes scan the drawing Gracie and him had made. "I know its stupid but I wanted you to have it." Sam said quietly and you looked up at his shy smile, "I love it." You grinned and he seemed to let out a breath of relief, "you can stick it on your fridge." You chuckled and rubbed your thumb over the drawing of you and sam standing together. "Thanks Sammy." The aforementioned soldier felt heat rise to his face and saw your eyes flick down to his lips. "Uh I should probably find Nat... see what she urm wants for dinner." You said awkwardly, trying not to focus on the way Sam was chewing his lip and the tight grey shirt he was wearing that unfairly showed off his chiselled chest and arms. "Oh right." Sam nodded, seeming to break out of a trance and opened your door, "I'll uh see you later yeah?" You nodded and he stepped out, looking at you one last time and giving you a small smile before disappearing down the corridor. You looked down at the drawing in your hand again and groaned, heart and muscles aching for you to run after the tall man and press your lips against his. Instead, you shut you door and walked to Nats room. When you knocked on her door, the red haired agent opened it with a knowing smirk on her face. "What's Wilson done now?" She asked and you groaned, stepping in to her room. You held out the drawing he gave you and Nat scanned it quickly before looking up at you in confusion. "Why have you got a drawing of you and Sam?" She asked, frowning. "He gave it to me." You sighed, causing Nat to laugh. "He gave it to you?" You nodded and Nat grinned, "wow he is so in love with you." You rolled your eyes at her sarcasm, "Wow thanks Nat. But seriously how am I meant to refrain from jumping his ass when he keeps doing adorable stuff like this?" Nat laughed and handed you back the paper, "You just need to go and tell him or you'll spend the rest of your lives dancing around each other and not doing anything about it." You sighed, "I know. But what if he doesnt like me back then I've just screwed up our friendship and the team dynamic." Nat nodded sympathetically, "I know it's scary but come on that man loves you to death and somehow everyone but you can see it." You looked down at the drawing again and nodded, "Fine, but if i end up dying on the spot from embarrassment after his rejection I'm blaming you." Nat rolled her eyes and pushed you out the door, shouting a 'good luck.' You nervously walked down the corridor and up the short staircase to the kitchen. Sam was leaning against the table, looking at something on his phone with a frown. Your heart instantly sped up and stomach did a hundred flips. You walked softly into the shared dining area and coughed lightly. At once, Sam looked up and smiled. "Urm I uh need to tell you something." You nervously stuttered, avoiding looking into his deep eyes. "Oh okay." Sam said, mind instantly running with negative ideas that you were hurt or he had done something wrong. "I urm well I... I think that you're urm." You looked up at him and his concerned eyes met yours. "Please could you uh turn around." Sam's face flitted with confusion, "wait what?" "I urm I cant talk with you looking at me like that." You said and Sam frowned but turned around. "Okay." He softly said, and you scanned his form, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "I guess I well I just want to say that I think you're the most lovely person in the world and I dont think that I could live without you Sam. You make me feel so comfortable and calm me down when I feel like the world is collapsing on me. You never fail to make me smile and I feel like the room lights up when you walk in. I love how kind and sweet you are to everyone but also how you make the stupidest jokes in the world and laugh your head off. I'm in love with you Sam and want to spend the rest of my life with you." You looked up to see Sam turning around to face you. You couldnt bear to meet his eye, knowing any possible friendship was now gone. A soft hand touched your cheek and lifted your head up, making your teary gaze meet his. "I'm in love with you too Y/N and I never want to leave your side." Sam pressed his lips against yours softly, making your heart stutter with happiness. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body against his, deepening the kiss as his hands squeezed your hips tightly. "Hey sam whens the chinese.... oh." Bucky said, his voice trailing off when he saw his best friend passionately kissing you. He wolf-whistled and chuckled, "Took you guys long enough." Sam broke apart from your lips, resting his forehead against yours, "Fuck off Buck." Bucky sniggered and walked out the kitchen again, hand raised in surrender. You opened your eyes to see Sam looking at you, "I love you." You spoke softly, "I love you too" before pressing your lips against his again and smiling into the kiss.