#like ive been here for 5 months and that guy said nothing

[pxlpanic]

lil rant in the tags

will delete later jsbdjs

ps. didnt know there were max 30 tags wow

[italiantea]

not gonna lie girls the dog club's internal communication is Abysmal

[garbagequeer]

i need like 15 days off work just to do fuck all in my bedroom back at home to recover from the realizations

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[pooplyface1423]

Dearest Lovely~

Warnings: word*s#x* idk what else lol

Color

Y/n- pink

Striker orange

Blitz-red

Moxxie-blue

Luna-green

Mille -purple

..............................................................................................

So ever since you were small you and Millie have been great friends no matter what you two became insepraple.

But slowly you lost contact with Millie after she got married started working at I.m.p and all that until you meet Striker.

Sure some might say he's a crappy egotistical imp but that's not how he is with you and some loved ones.

When you too first meet it was at a local bar in the far ends of the wrath ring.

It went somewhat like this

"What's a hot lady doing out here so late?" Said striker sitting next to you

"Oh um nothing much just drinks my date dumped me" You said looking down at your drink

"Oh dear well maybe your getting a way better date now" he said with a cocky smirk

"Oh is that so? Well then what's your name" You said looking at him with a small smile

"Striker and with who do I have the pleasure of drinking with this night " He said trying his best to be polite or some shit

"My name is y/n it's a pleasure to meet you" you said giving a warmer smile

From there you to hit up the night drinking and chatting. Striker didn't seem to bad.He wasn't the tough Assassin you thought he was he was more like your uncle who likes to drink and have normal chats kinda imp

Right of the bat Striker knew he didn't want this to be a one night stand and hopefully thought you felt the same.

Which you did....

After that you guys went on many dates..... Then became official...Soon after you both moved into your house.....And then

The day you found out

After a long week you just wanted to sleep and cuddle with striker but sadly he was away killing people he was told to kill.

how sad you thought

Following up to the next morning you felt sick why? who knows?

*Then you felt REALLY sick you ran to your bathroom and Open the toilet to throw up*

Yucky

You felt soo sick you called striker whom said will be there asap

But before you could imagen it you keeps throwing up

Once he got there he rushed u to the hospital

"Well mrs.L/n it seems that your pregnant" says the doctor

"Oooh wait what- what do You you mean i'm pregnant!?"

"your pregnant that's what the result say"

"Ooh well in that case thanks ma'am" says striker standing up

After leaving and hoping onto the horse he spoke up

"Soo... What should we do?.."

"what do You mean?"

"I-i don't know.. do you want to keep it?"

"I .... Don't know"

"Well which ever option you choose I'll be here f'you okay?"

"yea..thanks"

Riding back around 5 minutes striker speaks up

"I-i honestly would love to start a family with you y/n but really anything you choose is what I choose too"

"mhm well thank you I'll think about it" you said all flustered

"great" he said with a smile creeping up his face

*Oh how he would love to see a mini you or him running around the house

But his job.. it made him question if he could keep you and the kid safe...

I'll think bout it later* he thought

Once home Yall ate dinner and slept throughout the night

Months have passed around 4 1/2 months have passed you thankfully decided to keep the little one.

*Days pass*

You get a call

*mhm who couldn't be* you thought as you picked the phone up

"Hello"

"Hi y/n it's me Millie"

"Oh dear satán! Millie!? It's been so long how have you been"

"oh you know Ive been good doing the usal how bout you?"

"Nothing much is there a reason your calling mill' "

"Um yea I was wondering If we could stay at your place for around a day it's for a trip and since your on the way to the place we're visiting I thought why not catch up with you ....well if it's okay with you"

"Oooh sure how many are coming with ya Mill's"

" just 4 people"

" hope it isn't much of a bother" she says after she notices a small pause

"Okay Millie all have the rooms ready for y'all when are you planning on getting here?"

"in two days well be at your door y/n!"

"Okay I'll be waiting~"

Unbeknownst to you,you never knew about the fight with striker and the gang. You really didn't like to hear about his job so you never asked and he never said anything as if he even knew of your friendship with Millie.

Anyway you quickly started cleaning the house and rooms for your guests.and striker quickly caught on

"what you doin sweetie?"

"nothing much just cleaning up for some guests"

" mhm who we have'n over"

"Some friends of mine there's visiting"

"Ooh that's fine when they comin?"

"tomorrow"

"mhm m'kay I'll wash up for ya "

"haha okay thanks hun" you said finishing the conversation with a kiss onto strikers cheek

..............................................................................................

Time passes

After cleaning everything around your house striker came up to you

"Dollface imma head out real quick to get some stuff done at work i'll finish washing up when I get back"

"Oh um okay don't get to dirty okay sweetheart " you said looking at him

"Don't worry y/n I'll be back asap" he said as he left thru the front door

..............................................................................................

More time passes

..............................................................................................

You changed into a comfy long dress and went onto one of the guest rooms

*Knock knock*

You hear the door as you finish folding some blankets

"In a second" you said quickly putting the blanket down

Once you get to the door you fling it open and there you see Millie

"Mille!"

"Y/n!"

You both say in unison giving each other a big ol hug

"I missed ya mill"

"Same here y/n"

"Oooh introduce me to ur friends"

"Oh yea! This is my lovely husband Moxxie"She said wrapping her arm against his

"um- hi" says Moxxie looking up at You

"Hi i'm y/n your the wonderful husband Millie talks bout right?" You say in a joking manner

"Um-she talks about me like that" he says getting pink in the face his freckles slightly dissapering with all the blushing he has

"haha sometimes but don't worry I'm just pulling your leg" you say slightly laughing

"Oh okay haha atleast it isn't anything bad"

"yea your right bout that!" You say looking over there shoulders and seeing two more guests

"And whom may they be Millie?" You say smiling their way

"Oh yea this is my boss blitz" she said walking up to him with you behind her

"well hello i'm blitz the o is silent and what your name?" He said giving You a firm handshake

"pleasure meeting ya blitz my name is y/n"

"Oh and this is blitz daughter/hell hound"

"Oooh~ and what is her name?"

" You don't deserve to know my name" said luna under her breath

*cough* " what my daughter meant to say is her name is Luna!" Said blitz looking at luna with a small stare (he could never be to mad at prescious luna lol)

"Oh well nice meeting you all come inside let me help y'all with the bags"

"it's fine me and Moxxie will do it right Moxxie?" Said blitz looking at Moxxie

"yea don't worry y/n were grateful enough your letting us stay here" said Millie grabbing a small suitcase

..............................................................................................

Time pass

..............................................................................................

It was time for dinner!

You happily made steak and mashed potatoes

You called out to them

"Oooh y/n the food smells amazing!"

" Well thanks hope y'all enjoy"

While eating and chatting you and Millie get in the topic about your life

"So y/n I remember you said u have a boyfriend right"

"Oh yea"

" So... How's that going for You?"

"it's going pretty well been dating a long while now.."

"ooh sounds nice how does he treat ya?"

"He treats me like a princess Millie I actually think he is the one for me"

"If your think he is and he treats You well then he might be they one"

"yea and idk but we might get married soon..."

"Ooh and why is that!"

"Well....were expecting"

I small silence came from Millie looking at you surprised

"A baby?..." she asked with a surprised look

"Yea...it's been around 5 months haha you can barely notice" you say with a cheery tone

"Omgg!! Congratulations!" Says Millie all excited

After that, Millie and you were talking all about the future baby until....

*Door opening*

"Hey y/n, I'm back! Just et me clean up, and I'll join u gu-, " says Striker, entering ur home then seeing Blitz,Millie, luna, and Moxxie looking at him with shocked eyes

"Um, haha, I'll go clean up. Be right back, " says Striker, speed walking up to your shared room

"Oh okay Hun don't take long!" You say with a small worry on your voice

* Why is he acting wierd?* You think as you see him closing the door

"Haha, is that your boyfriend!?" Says Moxxie looking at you with a shocked expression

"Yea it is why?" You say worriedly

"Um, how do I put this y/n?"says Millie with a worried face

Before Millie could explain why they were so shocked to see Striker he himself came to the table

"So what we having for dinner dear?" He says as if he didn't just come up so quickly just so Millie wouldn't say how they knew him

"Oh yea we're having steak and mashed potatoes!" You say all excited getting up and serving him a plate

In those small 2 minutes, Striker and i.m.p just stare at each other willing to kill each other if you weren't there

But as always before, anything bad could happen. Someone (that being you) came back into the table

"Oooh nice, thanks y/n," says Striker, giving you a warm smile

While eating, Striker speaks to blitz moxxie Luna and Millie

"So we're are y'all headed?" he said, looking attentively at them

"Oh just um to get some important stuff around 2 hours from here," says Millie, being smart enough to make something up on the spot

"Mhm, okay, sounds good," he says, definitely not convinced

But anyway, after dinner, you lead them all to the leaving room so you can clean up and wash the dishes

Meanwhile

"So, um, what do we should do, boss?" Says moxxie in a whisper low enough so only him and blitz could hear it

"Look, I dont want trouble. Most importantly, here y/n is pregnant. I don't want her to get hurt, " says Striker with a serious expression

"So do we! We just wanna make sure we're not going to fight here out of all places, " says Millie with a big amount of anger in her tone

After some light arguing, blitz said

"Okay, how bout this we don't fight for this encounter and any other where y/n is present and we don't tell her about anything we ever did"

"Sounds fine by me" says Striker

"Same here" says m&m

"What ya guys talking bout?" You say walking in with a small basket of cookies

"Mhm, nothing much, dear just bout the future mini me/you," said Striker, looking up at you with a smile

..............................................................................................

Later

.............................................................................................

After eating some cookies and talking more, you all say your goodnight and head to bed

While sleeping, you suddenly wake up thirsty

*some water sounds good right now * You thought as you got out of bed

Getting out of bed as quietly as possible, you head over to the kitchen where you see blitz sitting down on a chair staring blankly at a wall

"Hey blitz" you say in a small whisper

Blitz snapped back into reality so quickly

"..was I bothering you?" You say looking at him with a smile

"No just can't sleep" he says with a small smile

"Why something bothering your mind?" You say with two glasses of water in hand

Sitting down you give him one of the glasses of water

Getting into some small talk, you and blitz start getting into his love life (somehow idk)

"Haha, he just wants to have s*x, and that's all!...nothing else.." He says, confidence slowly fading away as he talks

"Mhm well from what you're saying about stolas, it seems as if both of you seem in love,"

"Ha no that bird only wants s*x and all that"

As the conversation slowly faded

He said his goodnight (again) and left

Soon afterwards you went to bed

..............................................................................................

Next morning

..............................................................................................

Everyone was awake eating breakfast everything was good or so you thought they were silently death staring each other until u spoke then everyone went all happy smiles and stuff u just summed it up to you hallucinating

Afterwards at around 1:30 pm Millie and you were saying your goodbyes slightly teary eyed Millie said

"call me when the baby is born!" She said as she gave you one last big hug before jumping onto the van

" take care Millie! Be careful on ur Journey!" You said waving as striker holded your waist waving too

..............................................................................................

The end

Thx for reading!

[olberic]

ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck

[axcel-lucci]

Secret...?

Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, this is part 5, part 6, part 7

The next day, Lucifer woke up really early to go see (y/n) and prepare for teleportation.

"How's my sweet little starling?" Lucifer muttered as he walked up to the bed.

Law looked up at Lucifer with a hum, "you're up and early" he smirked as Lucifer nodded

"How is she...? Is she... Alright?" He asked as Law looked over

He nodded, "yeah. Her vitals are functioning as they should, nothing out of the ordinary."

"How long do you think will take her to heal? I mean it's in her heart and all that..."

"Well..." Law hummed as he thinks for a second, "I'm guessing a week, if she let herself heal, you know... Without any trouble? But it might take another week if she can't help but be confined in bed for so long... I'm already seeing her using her cute eyes to let me get her out of bed..."

"That is so her..." Lucifer chuckled, "why don't you tell your crew to get ready? You guys should be ready as teleportation isn't exactly a thing for humans."

"Oh, I teleport them a lot."

"Oh-ho? What type?"

"When I punish them, they're a little... You know... They love pranks" law chuckled making Lucifer laugh

"You know, I like you already. I don't mind you marrying my daughter... But I don't know about Dice though, he's hard to please..." Lucifer muttered, "imagine it literally took me two decades to court him. But, I'm sure he was just being cautious before agreeing on our first date."

Law smiled softly, "I see.... What do you think would impress him?"

"Let me think..." Lucifer closed his eyes before humming, "he loves (y/n) more than anything... I don't know, actually..."

...

"Are you all ready?" Lucifer muttered as Law nodded

"We are." Law said before pausing, "wait... Wouldn't it be dangerous to transport an unconscious person?"

"Don't worry... I would never harm (y/n)" Lucifer smiled as Law sighed but nodded again.

...

From Lucifer's hands, a book has been summoned.

The book had a dark blue hard cover with gold details that spells out random words, shapes, and numbers. Lots of book marks and feathers on its rather old pages, Lucifer flips through it as he nods and hands the book to Dice who took it and capsulated it into a bubble as he made it go away in a clink.

"Alright..." Lucifer breathes in and closed his eyes, chanting words that aren't even human as his voice starts to glitch and distort with every passing second.

Law looks around and sure enough, the world around them darkens, it's like he's using his "shambles" technique when he first learned how to use it on people.

The place soon brightened and they were now inside a rather big medical room, bigger than the one before, with much more heavy duty equipment only Law dreamed of seeing.

"Alright." Dice hums as he hooked (y/n) up into some of the machines.

One of which is a heart monitor that rates the heart beat as well as determining if the heart is on its "natural" beats per second.

And so far, (y/n)'s heart is beating a bit abnormally due to the stitches in her heart. Though Dice claims it's the heart adjusting and healing itself.

Then, he also hooked (y/n) up with some IV drip so that even if (y/n) sleeps for a month, she'd be perfectly healthy. Well not exactly healthy but healthy enough to not be malnourished.

"There... All done..." Dice smiled as Lucifer had to sit down to deal with the migraine that comes with teleporting a ton of people and a sub, "do you need some water, my love?" Dice smiles as he offered Lucifer a glass of water in which Lucifer smiles and takes said water and drinking it

"Thank you..." He smiled at Dice before dice leaned down to kiss Lucifer's head

"Stay here, I'll get you some warm compress." Dice smiled as Lucifer hummed with a nod, "also... You guys should wait for me in the dining room, I need to tell you guys something." He instructed law

"But where is it...?" Law mumbled as he stared at the window, only to see a winter wonderland outside.

The whole island blanketed under a thick layer of snow, big trees surrounding the whole island, and in the distance, a rather large city can be seen, as well as some factories and well sustained farms.

"Just... Hmm... Maria" Dice called a maid in, "can you please show them to the dining room? I'll be there with them, I just need to take care of Luci..."

"Yes, master..." The maid bowed and turned to Law and the crew, "please follow me."

"Don't worry, Maria will take good care of you." Dice smiled brightly.

The crew walked through the long and wide halls of the... Place?

It looked like a palace on the inside, but the level of things on the outside didn't seem like it.

The maid, named Maria, noticed their concern and confusion, "we are inside one of the Farcia group's manor, this island is also owned by them to manufacture and create various products such as liquor and wine." She explains as she stops in front of double doors, "don't worry... Other than the maids, the butlers, and the masters themselves, there's no one here to harm you. Considering the masters brought you here themselves."

Law hummed as he looked around and saw a rather big painting while Maria was speaking

"Say... What painting is that?" Law asked as soon as Maria stopped talking

"Do you wish to take a look? You could, but do be advised to never touch it, master Dice doesn't like his artworks getting dirty." Maria advised with a nod.

The crew rambled over to see the painting and lo and behold, it was a big family portrait.

Of (y/n), Dice, and Lucifer.

(Y/n) wore some sort of... Suit with a red fur cape, Lucifer wore a black suit with a trench coat on his shoulders, whilst Dice wore a simple suit as well with a furry coat over his shoulders.

All looked equally important and scary, but not as much as (y/n) looked... She was serious, not a trace of any expression... It was making law... Feel stuff he had never felt before.

Like he yearned to see this side, he was curious? Was he intrigued? His interest piqued?

Either way, Law is now more than determined to marry her... To him, she looks like a goddess...

....

Waiting for dice only took about 12 minutes since he had to give Lucifer some tablets and medication as well as a glass of water, considering Lucifer is like a big baby when extremely tired.

As soon as he walked in, all eyes were on him. Expecting him to speak as he walked over to the end of the table where a single chair sits.

The table was big and long, as if it was made specifically for a banquet.

"Alright everyone, listen here..." Dice calls, "I need to know... Are you all alright to staying here until (y/n) heals up entirely? I wish not to hold you all back in your adventures, considering you've had quite the appearance back in Sabaody."

"What appearance?" Bepo mumbled as Dice hummed

"You don't know?" He tilts his head in confusion, "every newspaper company in this world has made a great deal of article regarding the three rookie pirates, monkey D. Luffy, Eusstass Kidd, and finally, Trafalgar Law. Even the steambird has a rather exaggerated headline about it."

"Oh... That..." Law muttered, "but then... If we stay, would (y/n) be able to heal up properly without any repercussions?"

"That is a 90 percent guarantee; remember, we worked on a weak heart. Who knows what could happen. But knowing (y/n), I'm sure a few stitches in the heart is small..." Dice sighed, "and yes... Hopefully, (y/n) would listen and stay herself."

"What...?" Ikkaku mumbled, "so... (Y/n) could die?!"

"Possible... But as both her dad and doctor, I would not let her die. Though I'm sure she'd frown and curse me a few times... But she's always like that." Dice hummed softly, "though... I'm not sure if she'd be happy to know we're in the land where she grew up..."

"Why wouldn't she? She grew up here...?"

"Well... There are things meant to be left in the dark... You can ask her if you want, but... Let's just say there are times (y/n) would lie through her teeth and make it believable. I guess those are one of the many skills I taught her growing up..." Dice muttered.

"What else did you teach her?" Bepo asked innocently

"Mostly on Lucifer, since I've always been in the lab... Lucifer has always been with (y/n). I bet he knows everything about her growing up, considering they think alike and it's scary that they do." Dice shrugs

"Why would that be scary?" Ikkaku asks, tilting her head a bit

"Remember Lucifer being rumoured to have killed and destroyed a whole island all by himself and his own intuition? Yeah... I'm sure (y/n) could do so much more considering they almost think alike, but (y/n)... She doesn't hold back. She never does... If you're in a duel with her, she wouldn't honestly care if you're a friend or foe. As long as you fight against her, it's her against you." Dice sighed, "honestly... What was Luci feeding her...?"

"Just some books she found and asked me about" Lucifer smiled as he walked in, "and don't worry... I never feed her anything that isn't on a human's diet. I mean she did eat sand once... And maybe... Uhm... Drank a few poison... Drugs... Party drugs... Uhm..."

"You... WHAT?!" Dice yelled as he snapped at Lucifer, "WHY THE FUCK SOULD YOU GIVE HER FUCKING DRUGS?! A HUMAN CAN DIE FROM THOSE!!"

"Eh-... Uh..." Lucifer started sweating

"and on top of that, you let her eat sand and drink POISON?! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"What? What?? Can you blame me?? I have no idea how to raise a HUMAN child!! I was raised drinking poison, eating acid for dinner, smoking blunts, and even... Fucking-- ate drugs like they were candy! How am I supposed to know that humans and demons are no different??" Lucifer said, kind of frustrated at such facts

Dice sighed, frustration clearly etching away at his consciousness; "atleast tell me you didn't teach her how to smoke a blunt..."

Lucifer hummed as he looked away, a clear sign that he did.

Dice slammed a hand on the table causing it to shake, "you let her eat sand, drink POISON, and even gave her drugs... And now you're telling me you TAUGHT HER HOW TO SMOKE A FUCKING BLUNT?!"

"So what?! I didn't know it wasn't normal for humans! I'm not even human! YOU'RE not around much yourself!" Lucifer snapped before sighing, "sorry... It's just... You know... While she's growing up, I researched on a few things... Finding out that human females are the most vulnerable to any type of attack there is... So... I tried to... You know... Make her at least susceptible to some of it... Hopefully the party drugs and poison."

"That doesn't explain you having to give her those. That could've killed her!"

"I- I know... But... What can I do? I know I won't be able to be there for her all her life. And I think her being away for almost five years already told you that. And you know how humans are, they're perceptive as they are slick. You know that yourself, don't you??" Lucifer reasoned as Dice sighed

Dice just dragged Lucifer out of the room to possibly argue with him some more.

And yet they did, arguing just right outside the door.

The crew can hear, of course both were reasonable... But both were also wrong...

Dice was almost never around so Lucifer had to do something he didn't know could kill humans, Lucifer didn't call Dice for help or even ask when he IS around...

Both arguments were reasonable and understandable but... Both were also wrong.

"Do you think... They'll ever make up...?" Bepo asked, "do you think (y/n) would be happy if they didn't?"

"What are you saying, Bepo?? I'm... I'm sure they'll make up." Klione muttered, "and I think (y/n) wouldn't be quite happy either, they both sound good parents... But also pretty messed up"

"They're gang leaders, one is a demon from hell and the other is a mad scientist... And they have a child." Law mutters, "but... I feel like (y/n) still loves her parents... I'm sure of it"

"Captain..."

"I know (y/n) will always love those around her... Even if they hurt her..." Law frowns.

_______

@jadedrrose it's kinda short(?) Cause I'm posting this at exactly 5 am ahhahah haven't slept yet

[justanothertraveller42]

I hate being stressed about money. Its always "we dont have enough money" "do you have the money for that?" "You dont have any money" "should you really be spending money on that?" My mom has been saying this shit to me since i was a kid.

It makes me incredibly annoying to other people. Constantly repeating what ive been told. saying 'i dont have money' 'i dont know if its worth the money' 'ive already spent money today' 'the money, money, money, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY-'

My brother hates it. "Shut up and just enjoy the fucking food" hes told me (not verbatim but smth close) multiple times. I dont think she said it to him as much growing up. 'We have a bit of money but its better to save it' 'you cant throw it away your relative spent a lot of money on it' 'here have this gift its expensive. What do you mean you dont like it. Do you have any idea how much it cost? We spent so much money on this. You should like it. Use it. Wear it. Why arent you touching it? Its a waste not to. Dont you feel grateful? She/I/They spent a lot of money on you. What do you mean the shoes dont fit right?'

I want to stop. Nobody talks about money as much as i do. Does anyone have the same worries as me? They seem to be fine. They dont seem to talk about it as much. Perhaps they simply manage it on their own. Perhaps when they dont have the money they say other things. Is it 'i dont feel like it right now' or 'maybe in a couple weeks, im not free atm' or 'nahh im good, you guys go ahead'

I try to shut up about it. I barely have any money but i live with my mom who buys me food and have relatives nearby that will pay for other necessities if i cant. But i cant ask them, either. 'Dont ask for money, [name].' 'Never bring up money to your grandma, [name], and dont accept what she tries to give you' 'your aunt may have money but shes sick and will give more than shes willing to give if you ask. This is your problem. Dont ask.' Dont ask. Dont ask. Its rude. Its inappropriate. Its selfish. Its manipulative.

'You can ask me if you need some help' another aunt, my dad's sister, tells me. 'Dont ask her,' my father scolds, 'ill do it instead, ask me'. 'Do you have any idea how much of MY money ive spent on YOUR dental bills?!?!' My dad's 2nd wife blows up at me. They share an account. I never ask him for anything again. I dont bring it up to my aunt.

I have friends. But then i feel guilty. They dont have money either, do they? I cant ask. I try to manage on my own, balance any debts. It seems to work. They seem to manage. They dont seem to mention it as much as i do. Is it just me who feels the pressure?

My boyfriend and i go to gamestop. 'Id like to get a ps5 once i save up some,' i mention, for probably the 5th time in 2 months. Ive been thinking about it recently. My playstations are hand-me-downs from my brother, which i appreciate and have never been bothered about, but buying my own for once fills me with anticipation and excitement. It wont happen for months. Maybe over a year. 'I could buy you one' my boyfriend says. 'No. Dont.' I immediately say. 'I want to get my own' i quickly add. Its the truth, but its said for desperation and not for sharing. 'Dont get me one, i dont want that'. $500. Its so expensive. Its so much money. How much does he have? He doesnt seem to worry about it.

We go on a date and get food. 'Ill pay' he tells me. 'No, let me', i say. I have some change left over from christmas. He paid for 5 times in a row. Then 6. 7. 'Ill pay' i say, desperate. It feels unequal, unfair. When my brother was in high school, he had a well paying weekend job. He spent hundreds on dollars on his girlfriend. He had nothing left when they broke up just before graduation. I love my brother. Why is this engraved upon my mind? I dont know if ill like my boyfriend forever. I dont know if itll even last a month, or maybe a year. What about when it ends?

I dont want him to spend money on me.

Today he bought me a bouquet for valentines day. It has many flowers in it. I set it down on the counter when i got home, i was tired, i didnt want to prepare the stems and water and vase. There were over a dozen, i think. Or maybe im wrong. I didnt count. 'Ill put it in the vase later' i tell my mom when she asks. Hours later i havent done it yet. 'Your boyfriend spent a lot of money on that bouquet' my mom opens my door and tells me angrily. I know. I got a cheap single rose for him at target. It was $5. My first stop had been a florist. They had a dozen roses for $80. At Target, the nicer bouquets were $25. I dont know how much he spent. I tried not to think about it. 'Youre just going to leave it to die?!' She says. 'He spent good money on those flowers!!' Why do you care, i want to ask. Why are you angry about this. Why are you guilt tripping me over flowers my boyfriend bought me. Why is everything always about money, and not that he bought them while thinking of me?

For a brief moment (but not the first one today) i wanted to wish my boyfriend was poor.

I finally got a job. 'Now go buy those expensive things you need but have been putting off' my mom tells me. But its expensive. I can last longer without them. Its cheaper, easier, safer. My car oil seems fine. My bras just need to be washed, my back doesnt hurt too bad. Later, later, later. Its better not to spend money.

Today my mom was home on the couch. I came back from date semi-early. We dont hang out often. I wanted to be around her. I tried to lean on her on the couch while she was watching TV. 'Get off' shed told me. I left the room. She said nothing. One thing led to another. 'Why dont you just leave?' She asked. She didnt mean it. Shes stress from work. "Maybe I will" i mutter. I meant it.

I have a job now. They arent giving me many hours. I need a second to make up for it. I need money. For car maintenance, for bras, why do i always feel guilty buying a pair of shoes? My feet hurt. Surely ill get used to it. I dont need new shoes. Just wear another pair of socks, ill be fine. I think i used to be less annoying about this. I think i used to be more reliable, more secure. Back before college, back when i still had money.

Why? Why does it always tie back to money? I want to shut up. I want to stop worrying. It wont happen here, i need to move out- but. Ha. Haha. You see, i just. I cant afford it. I dont have the money.

[sapphictigress]

Episode i forgot because its been a month

I was listening to teh cut animo & welles album while playing modded MC and my friend @cloudystrwbrry called me gay so i then decided to play some MCSM before i have to go to work

Im love you petra, i will willingly race you anytime

I love the DLC but surprisingly i think this episode is my least favorite?? idk maybe because its something infront of episode 7 which is my ABSOLUTE favorite episode of the DLC

also if thats episode 7 does that mean im playing episode 6? i didnt look at the number and yet i know the Redstone computer one is episode 7.....

I was accidentally nice to torquedawg u-u

"you've got.... a boyyss name......" farewell only youtuber i know not of

Okay but i do think it wouldve been fun if the Host was a Youtuber, wouldve made it very not obvious who the antagonist is because there is only ONE non youtuber a part of the cast

'MMm yes delicious im poisened now i huffed that arrow a little too good' thanks Ivor

The suspicious wink Jesse gives to sparkle pants like damn

When ever Petra speaks im just like Hello Ashley Johnson how are you doing today

also like, The host say the crew running via the window, how did they have time to make the portraits?????????????????????

I do feel bad for lucas this man just gets picked on for no reason

I love the dangangobnronpa portraits though lmao

If we stick together, the killer cant leave to kill somebody without it being obvious who to wittle down! just like- AMONG US (ive been watching Alpharad's mongy monday streams lately so i got the mogus on the brain)

These guys aint slick on private conversations *yelling* LIZZIE PSSSST LIZZIE

"Oh, was I" (upset about inventory poking) She said it so suspiciously like goddamn girl. The voice directing is actually so good for these lines she sounds so caught in her actions rn

WAIT IS THIS GAME WHERE I GOT CALLING SOMEONE PRICKLY FROM (subconsciously) BECAUSE I HAVE A RUDE COWORKER WHO GETS COMPLAINTS ALL THE TIME AND I may or may not have called them prickly to a customer..... this was like 2 months after knowing said coworker. Im much quieter about said opinions to customers now, mostly just apologize for it because nothing is ever going to change uwu (I do not want to work there anymore)

Im just over here gossiping with my friends about these strangers i met 5 minutes ago

Okay but 4 random strangers show up, your 'prickly' friend is dead and 3 of them gossip in a corner while one goes to each clique and asks questions?????? y'all just let this happen?????

Jesse: YO IT OPENS PORTALS!! i mean, just a lucky guess! Jesse you buffoon

Okay but Dan being bored and UBER CURIOUS about the button is hilarious tho

also gendered sentences are soooo stupid it just keeps your brain thinking about a mystery man but like,,, if you use they them for a person you know nothing about WOW your options get so much bigger! and also i feel like it kind of creates a twist where the cast is using he/him pronouns for a masked killer but BUM BUM the killer was a GIRL ALL ALONG!!! idk just seems cheep to me

also again letting Jesse / people from Jesse's crew mess with the crime scene??? like,, Let at least ONE person from the other group in there as a buffer! but i guess thats too logical for a story now isnt it

AND THEN IVOR AND PETRA NOT LETTING ANYONE IN LIKE GUYS IT MAKES Y'ALL LOOK SUSSY AS HELL

Also petra my beloved rushing into the room :333 (about 1 whole minute too late but you know she's doing her best)

Love how Cassie banked on someone having ADHD or just didnt plan to kill anyone yet

ACAB includes Jesse (Like DUDE you're making me mad >:|)

ACAB INCLUDES JESSE

Jesse youre being a bitch

PETRA IM JUST INTERROGATING THE MAN YOU DONT HAVE TO ROUGH HOUSE HIM WHADDA HELL

who let cassie out of their sight

who's working security in this bitch? cause Petra's hanging with me for the interrogation

(also how do i insure Lizzie stays alive? no offense to Dan im just a misandrist /s)

not me cheating and looking it up and realizing she might be doomed already... we'll see

okay but i do like the gag how every scene dan has a new hair color

I hate directional arrows... just dies because i was hitting up because it was forward but technically the arrow was pointing down, my brain cant function with stuff like that :((((

Ivor: I'll watch over lukas *Smacks his ass*

I love her your honor

I like i absolutely love all the small things about petra love knowing she whittles

-Work intermission-

-the next day- (I did in fact look that this is indeed Episode 6)

Cassie was just mining around the location of the portal after she found it and happened upon like 7 zombie spawners all next to eachother and was like Oh yeah.. Its all coming together >:)

Stampy: What are you doing down here?? Didnt we *Just* say we were going in to find cluess for the white pumpkin?? didnt we say that Petra?

Petra: That looks like a Lair door if i ever saw one That looks like a trap door if i ever saw one

"Its not your fault the spiders got him" OOPSIES I SENT HIMN THERE TO HIS DOOM ON POURPUS

okay but Cassie why do you have so many back up winslows??? not healthy!

Jesse i know youre a pig person but dont be rude

Okay yes actually it makes sense that Cassie isnt a youtuber cause she wasnt from this world but also like, think of the fun of a proper twist!

also damn Cassie got them screenshot abilities

"they're all about portals, thats pretty obsessive" YOU'D BE TOO IF YOU COULDNT FIND SHIT TO GET OUT TOO JESSE

OLD FISH TEXTURE MY BELOVED

I dont love you anymore Petra (/s They could Never make me hate you)

Get Danmganronpad Idiot, thats what you get for not liking cats >:(

Honestly surprised Lizzie did all this research that Cassie apparently couldnt do? like you'd think Cassie would've had her hands on those tomes

Girl you're not mentally well

She was doing ye olde pufferfish to calm her nerves

"its not your fault" Dans death was. oopsies!

Remember when endermites were just purple silverfish? i do now!

the smile makes it everything

Also the sand falling into the mite pit just means that Cassie can escape AND I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE VERY END OF SEASON 2 WHERE I THINK IF YOU STAY IN TOWN SHE SENDS YOU OMINOUS MAIL LMAO

nvm the sand is gone now

A. Winslow doesnt deserve endermite damnation B. nobody is a master of a cat C. you dont deserve an animal companion if you call yourself a "Master"

MINECRAFT SALMON WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!

"Advent~ure~" Ivor you silly silly man

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok, on a genuine note, i've been coming here and enjoying the spice level of your blog for several months. obviously youre catering to an audience here, as are other spicy blogs, but i genuinely have to ask - as someone who doesnt seem to have such a high sex drive as you but is still very very into the whole romance and excitement of spicy byler - how do you cope on a daily basis haha

i mean this blog, obv, but you have implied that you as a person outside of spicy byler etc have also this sort of high libido etc. i mean, you've got your man but overall in your life, before him and maybe during dry spells - talking to others here who may relate, too - doesnt it get exhausting lol?

ive been big into romance as part of stories since i was a teen but the sexuality aspect of it, and leaning into that as a need and a drive, exploring that part of myself, is quite new to me. i realise im really not as high libido as many people especially in this fandom. i get that may seem sad to some but really it just feels like im kind of... more in control of what i get to do, especially compared to certain times (of the month lmao) when i am super horny and its literally so tiring when everything reminds you of sex haha

so im just wondering for people with high sex drives, do you ever get exhausted being constantly horny lmao. and how do you focus at work/when other important things need doing lol

all love! just curious. cos its a physical feeling as much as emotional so its not as simple as like... me sating my need for romance by reading or dreaming etc.

Friend, are you calling me a slut?? The AUDACITY! Wellllllll. 😉🤭 JOKING!! SAID WITH LOVE NO WORRIES!!

I feel like this is a perfect example of hmmm to overshare or not to overshare - well, I'm utilizing a cut here so what do we think. Personal insights below:

To be fair - I'm not walking around 24/7 only thinking about either this show or pairing or sex in general hahahaha. Yeah, that would be exhausting and a little crazy! Maybe some do! No shade! It's just very concentrated here - you are spot on. There's a theme and a catered interest here so that's what we all see. Just like I often say about the celebrities we follow on social media - we see about 5% of a life, if that. Same with bloggers!! Why I kind of have been embracing talking about some non-spicy Byler things here too, because I decided not strictly adhering to a very tiny niche of content is more relaxing and if people no longer want to hang out - so be it!! But, yes. This blog does serves as a concentration of that topic.

But it is very true what I've said previously, to speak very frankly here on out on this post - I do have a pretty high sex drive. I'm very open about that! Because in the wake of a world careening towards repression and shame, no thanks. There's nothing wrong with having a healthy relationship with pleasure and sex. It's a major part of my life. Just is. Everyone's different. I cope by not really denying that or feeling ashamed by any of it? Sex and pleasure and love and beauty and happiness. I want to live my life surrounded by good things and those are good things to me.

Having a high libido is - well it's convenient being in a loving long term relationship, thaaaaat's for sure. HA. Yeah 😏 I definitely had fun when I was single/dating around, but I wasn't totally indiscriminate. It wasn't constant. Again, as always, no shade - but I've heard of guys who get body counts in the hundreds per year. To me, that sounds ridiculous and exhausting. But I know that happens! Human sexuality is a spectrum in so many ways. Sex drive is yet another. As long as sex is safe and consensual - hell yeah. Have at it.

Sure there are times when you're struck buy a mood and nothing else occupies your mind. Other things can have the same affects on your day to day as well. Hunger or depression or addiction or obsession can also completely take over the brain the same as a want for pleasure. Is the hyper focus and need healthy? There's the key. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with thinking about sex a lot or being super horny often. But like anything - how is it affecting your life? What is positively fulfilling and what is being neglected? There's also nothing wrong with never or rarely needing / thinking about it, to balance the truth.

On the flip side - the romance, ahhh the romance. Why is it that I'm personally so enamored with fandom? Storytelling and an outlet for my incredibly overactive imagination, yes, but gosh the romance. Hopeless romantic, for sure. But romance for me is also tied up in sex, that's just how it is. I'm someone who liked to have fun, chase a feeling, get off. I've hooked up with strangers. I've fooled around with friends and gone on like it was nothing afterwards. I've done things and fallen desperately head over heels and let it negatively affect me. I had certain things I'd only do with those I had genuine feelings for. ~Romance~ and sex in conjunction. But, this is just how I am. Can't explain it. I'm a physical guy, to some maybe a little over indulgent, but I've grown to have a healthy view. Pleasure and joy and love. All positives for me. I might go so far as to say it would be more exhausting repressing and denying how I truly feel and what I want!

It's all so personal and we can imagine our hypothetical needs and interest bars like the stats screen in something like the sims. Maybe someone's sex drive bar stays green fairly longer or barely budges and someone like me has one that depletes a lot quicker. That's life!!

Unless this was intended to just be a ploy to get me to talk about and detail various sexcapades well..... maybe in the future 🤭🤭

[aamethyst000]

What fckn even? (june 1, 24 - 5:12pm)

Duude. a lot has happend in a short amount of time. first off, Happy Pride Month! second, my childhood friend just moved back home like not even 4-5 months ago and we hung out like once with a group, and once alone. and in that time, i noticed he was odd and i had a little feeling it might have been about me. so ive been making it known that i am, in fact, gay af but that didnt seem to stick because (and i hesitate to even type this out) he still confessed to me. like??? to be fair, we dated once when we were teenagers and that was when i was still straight and cis. This is different now, i'm different now, and i know for damn sure that he is too. i even mentioned to him about my progress to legally change my name and gender. he said it was fine and that doesn't change anything but like, it DOES!!! i told him that if he still feels the same way, then maybe, you're POSSIBLY not as straight you may be? i mentioned that i did not want to force that onto him. cause if he never thought about it before or even looked at others that way, i dont think he has feelings for ME, as he says, he might still see the old me. which kinda bugs me, just a little bit though. This is what i was worried about too. if my attention on him was genuine, just from old habits as teenagers or i do have genuine feeling for him. i was trrying to figure it out when he moved back to his ex girlfriend. clearly, i didnt have it all figured out before he moved back home. i kept imagining myself dating him. the holding hands (this gave me the ick butterflies and a ick after taste in my mouth) kissing him and all thst shtick. i kept getting uncomfortable and it keeps reminding of my relationship of my last ex boyfriend. i didnt like it at all, so i am sure that is my answer to myself and him. i consider him my friend and goddammit i want to keep him around as a friend. i even said to myself, if it happens in the near future, it happens, but other than whats going on now, i dont see him in the same way. i may have to tell him as such too. i dont like it. it makes me nervous that i may lose him like that. which is kind of stupid if i do. i know thats how most of the men here are, im also aware that not all of them are like that. its just difficult to diffrentiate when most of them act aggressivly. anyway, i do not want to keep him waiting any longer than it needs to be. i told him it may take a couple of week because i have a hard time determinatiing my emotions properly. i have to know if its a trauma response or a genuine repsonse. it tends to be hard to tell.

12:23am - i even distract myself from thinking about it too much. i'm trying to get out of my head that if and when i do reject him, i'm not missing out on anything (no offense to him) it's just fears and the ugly voices in my head making me think i'll be alone for the rest of my life. like, so? i can adopt 2 cats, MAYBE a dog (a smol one) and keep up with my hobbies. there is nothing wrong with being alone, however, i am allowed to feel lonely. i keep trying to remind myself of that. i'm doing a lot of thinking with this one and i keep on coming to the same solution. i'm not interested in him, romantically. i just want him as a friend. Poor guy even remember the night we all gathered together for our "reunion class" we all got very fricken drunk and got stupid. i remember parts of it, up until we all head to my best friend's house to chill a bit. i feel so bad about that. it was the one time i let myself go too. not like we didnt do much, just hold hands and sat close. we didnt even kiss. HE EVEN APOLOGISED. i just hate rejecting people in general. not to mention hurting a persons feelers (i know, i am aggressively working on that issue, that kind of thinking go tme into trouble a lot). This whole situation got me so nervous, but im not going to change who i am as a person. i know for a fact that my personal issues and truamas are for me n my therapist to deal with. not for a relationship to magically fix. i dont even know if i am truely interested in being a relationship. i dont seem to miss it. sure, i may complain about it and say i want a girlfriend but the last time i did have a girlfriend, i ended up screwing that up by ghosting her. i know, dick move and so not cool. this was back in 2020 by the way but i still think about it. thinking about actually opening up and letting them see me for who i am makes me nervous as hell. not to mention the thought of sex makes me even more nervous. almost avoidant. its a lot to think about but i avoid thinking about it like the plaque. i just go day by day thinking about something else that is able to distract me. like leagally changing my name and gender. how much money i am saving and what not. anything to not think about me in relationships. just fckn nope. why the fuck is being an adult so goddamn difficult? lmao i hate it and i want to be 7 again, but at the same time, i so do not want to go back, my exsistential crisis was too much for lil me to handle at the time. i remember vividly how much that freaked me out! anyway, i get the feeling that tonight will be a long ass night again, i probably wont go to bed until 4-5am. and i keep on forgetting to take my damn medications too. no matter how much i try (ugh. i felt a sicking feeling in my belly when i wrote that), i have a reminder alert on my calandar, i tried to make it a habit to write it in my journal, and type it out here, but in my personal notes and i still dont take it on time or i miss nearly a week to a few days. its annoying, even for me.

june 28,24 4:31pm - this is me second time trying to fucking type this out. i am planning on tellling him that i do not have any romantic feelings for him. that i do not want to go out with him. not that there is anything wroong with him or me, i just dont want to be in a relationship with him because i am nervous that we both would be falling back to our old habits from our highschool years. im also even more nervous that he may not see me as who i really am, just as much im not seeing with the new and current him.. i dont like it at all. i even told him that i am getting top sugery and getting my name and sex change. he said it didnt matter, but it matters to me! im gay and very much iffy about men (personal trauma from a relaationship and father figure) and that is what i am going to tell him. not gonna lie though, im nercous to lose him as a friend. i just got him back this year, and it is fun to hang out with him. but if it happens, it happens i guess. this is the people pleasing issue that i am going through right now, as a teenager, i would have thought about it for a week then tell them that i have romantic feeling for them and then go out with them. those moments resulted from a game called "truth or dare" from my classmates. they really liked to use it as a dating game. A LOT. it actually got very annoying after a couple of months. it was awful in some months and others were just downright harrasing. anyway, i went on a tangent there, im just trying to get out of that people pleasing bs. old habits really die hard. i hope this goes well for the both of us, i wish the best for him and his children.have a good night/day, readers!~

[r08s]

i asked my friend of aprox 10 years to hang out. it was 11:37 when i send her the message. she was online multiple times on instagram yet nothing. i texted a “?” at 1:20. same thing: active on ig but no reply to me. finally at 4 she responds.

we meet up and i feel just…empty? i know this sounds edgy but for example if i saw her last summer, i would have been so happy and excited and i wouldn’t stop talking. but this time i just looked at her and i wanted to leave, even tho i was the one who invited her… i felt so so numb, she also pointed out my strange behavior but she didnt ask if it was because of her.

honestly the whole day 4 hours spend together seemed like im hanging out with someone who secretly hates me. she didnt say any rude remarks but everything was just odd and i almost passed out at one moment (perhaps this was also because i slept only 5 hours)

we kinda gossiped and talked about guys, we always do this, however it felt so draining? actually i dont think this is the correct word, maybe awkward? we cracked some jokes but i was really forcing myself to smile and laugh, she defo noticed this. i was also just spacing out a couple of times

when we said goodbye, i didnt feel sad as i usually do when we separate. but this time i was just done, relieved and exhausted. and also screw the uber driver who tried to make a conversation with me about stupid teslas

i now really think we’re drifting apart. we had the previous week free and we didnt get to hang out at all… the active on ig and no reply thing happened then too…despite this, she did hang out with two other girls. awesome.

i feel so lonely. ever since i was little i thought that i would grow up in this cool teenager with a huge friend group yet here i am, crying for the 38295th time in the bathroom. i really just want someone i could talk to. someone who replies to me all the time. someone who appreciates me. someone with who i would never be awkward or uncomfortable with. someone who wouldn’t judge me. someone who would jump off a bridge if i also jumped. someone who i’d consider my best friend. someone who’d consider me their best friend. maybe i already met this person and maybe im the problem because of my stupid anxiety and my stupid undiagnosed depression and my stupid attachment issues and my stupid self as a whole.

today i had planned to tell my friend about some of the thing mentioned here but i guess i couldn’t bring myself to do it. she really asked me if something is wrong but i just shut her down.

maybe i will tell her next time. but how? or maybe the real question is when? i mean, ive been the one who mostly began the convos. i really am going to wait for her to just say something.

(today is saturday) not the upcoming week, but the next one it will be my birthday (im celebrating it by visiting paris so it will be no actual party with friends, just family). but i do wonder what she is gonna do then. like, just a hbd text or something more? tbh that “something more” could be even a bday card, i’d be really happy for one. i dont wanna sound selfish but i truly think i deserve something from a friend i’ve known for a whole decade, a friend who i love(d?) so much, i even bought her a gucci perfume so yeah i do deserve something a bit bigger than a one-minute happy bday text. again, it doesnt need to be extravagant, just something to show if she really cares about me, about our friendship. even my classmates, who ive known for only 6 months, are going to make me a surprise.

or maybe im just miserable and lonely. perhaps i shouldnt be spending my bday in paris but rather in a therapy session.

also i need to buy a new mascara since my maybelline sky high has been kind of dry. also as i said, rn im crying and yet the mascara isnt running down my face in the dramatic way as it should be..

[yoonsdoll]

flower - ksy

content : n-i!hoshi x f!reader ; fluff , strangers 2 lovers ; 1.8k words warnings : brief mention of sickness - where you're a florist, and soonyoung (an incredibly cute customer) catches your eye. an : i hope that u enjoy!! ive wanted to write something like this for a while but ive been busy + not proof-read so apologies for any mistakes!

“same customer again..? i swear he comes here every day… what does he need this many flowers for?” you heard your co-worker hum with a little smirk.

the familiar stranger, who without fail purchased flowers daily, has just departed from the flower shop where you worked at, the stupidly handsome guy who always seeks your flower advice, the one who boldly orders custom bouquets exclusively from you. you were the newest florist, the least experienced among your colleagues, so, why did he always choose to talk to you?

“how would i know?” you managed to shrug your shoulders tiredly, offering nothing more but a sigh. “he probably buys flowers for his girlfriend… or maybe girlfriends? i mean… i like flowers too, but what girl wants to receive flowers daily…”

“i wouldn't be surprised, he's a hot ass guy… i’d be all over him too if i had the chance.” your co-worker giggled. “i’m jealous of you, he always comes in and asks you for help, maybe you find him attractive too?”

“yes.. i mean.. no? i don't know. hes cute i guess, but i'm sure he has a girlfriend and is only asking for help cause he needs someone else's opinion on the flowers he gets. to be honest, i don't even know his name.”

it blew your mind how you started working as a florist under three months ago, promising yourself that this job would just be a way to earn money for education. but now its been two weeks since the same nameless guy started visiting the store every day, two weeks since you've actually started to look forward to work. its not like you didn't previously like it, but it definitely made it easier when you started to indulge yourself in delusion, in dreams that contain the same handsome guy coming down to the store to see you daily.

you didn't mean it to end up like this, you told yourself that it was only a coincidence, that he really did just have a girlfriend that he cared for and loved. but you couldn't help and imagine what it would be like to be that lucky girl.

“how could you fall for someone who’s name you don't even know?” your friend hansol asked you when you told him about it.

…but how could you not? seeing all his different outfits - which you’d describe as streetstyle, with oversized pants and cool shirts, occasionally wearing jackets and hoodies - hearing his husky voice in the tiring afternoons, noticing the way he so carefully thought about the choices of flowers he would get, even doing so much as asking for recommendations.

weeks passed and you’ve gotten into a routine of seeing him at this point. you always welcomed him with a “good afternoon” to which he would start to respond with “good afternoon, y/n” after you started wearing your name-tag badge that everyone was usually required to wear, but you never wore due to old people always reading it wrong or mispronouncing it.

but today was different. it was 5:43 pm, and you were going to close soon, yet he still hasn’t arrived.

time passed quickly, before you knew it, it was 6 pm and you just finished helping an elderly lady to walk down the steps of the store. it was now time to close, you couldn't help but feel disappointed. you flipped over the wooden sign on the door that said ‘open’ so that passer-bys wouldn’t walk into the store after hours. you hummed to yourself as you swept away any fallen petals that dropped on the floor, until you heard the bell that always notified you when someone entered. “it's closed..” you mumbled, turning around to face the door.

“i'm a little late huh?” the familiar face spoke, “ah… i should've hurried. something came up and…” his tone quietened as he spoke. “nevermind” he smiled once more, putting his left arm out, which held a cup of coffee that you recognised, a coffee from the expensive café a street away. “i got you coffee.”

“oh. thank you?” the corners of your lips rising into a smile, reaching out for the coffee, your fingers brushing against each other. “do you still need to buy flowers? you do everyday right?” you glanced at the clock on the wall that read 6:04 pm. “i can stay in a bit to help if you’d like” you added.

his expression turned into one of guilt, you could tell he didn't want to keep you in work for any extra time. “no it's okay. actually… i came here to thank you, for always helping me pick the best flowers, the bouquets you make are really beautiful. you have some real talent.” you couldn't help but giggle at the flattery, never really hearing words like these, especially from a guy that you found cute.

“ah… by the way, i’m soonyoung. i don't think i ever introduced myself. i'm sorry, that must be really awkward for you considering i know your name already.” you laughed softly, soonyoung's chuckles quickly following yours.

“its okay, its my fault for not asking previously, i was just nervous,” you quickly admitted, the awkward atmosphere melting away.

“no but seriously, my mother loves the bouquets you make,” he added to his previous statement.

oh. his mother.

suddenly it all hit you. he hasn’t been buying flowers for his girlfriend (or plural - considering at one point you thought he was a player). he has been buying them for his mother like a good son would.

“i feel so stupid oh my god…” you muttered to yourself, unaware of how loud your muttering would be in a completely quiet room.

“whys that?” soonyoung concerningly asks, his head slightly tilted at the sight of your flushed cheeks and embarrassed expression. but his concern quickly changing into a smirk as you stutter trying to let any words leave your lips.

you felt as if the universe was torturing you. the fact that its been weeks since you met this cute stranger but kept your distance because you didn't want to be a homewrecker. and the fact that you were now standing in front of him having to explain the comment you made that you assumed he wouldn't hear.

and worst of them all, having to explain that same comment with his pretty face staring right at you, acting stupid, when in reality you had a feeling that he knew everything.

and know everything he did. in fact, he was even worse than you. ever since he entered the store with hopes to find his sick mother some cute flowers, he couldn't get you off his mind. he told himself everyday that it would be the day he would ask for your number, but always ended up leaving with just a little more knowledge about your favourite flowers and a bouquet that his mother would later put in a glass jar next to her hospital bed. he acted so sweet, he put on his best outfits, he did anything to hint that you should maybe make the first move, but he eventually came to the conclusion that maybe you didn’t find him attractive. he was a mess, telling all his friends about the cute girl that worked at the flower shop, making them hype him up prior to entering the store, yet he never even had the guts to even tell you his name.

but seeing your smile as he entered, seeing you in your cute uniform with your name-tag he assumed you wore for him, seeing how fast you were to come up to him and help him with the selection of flowers he might’ve wanted that day, it all ignited hope within him that maybe he had a chance with you. a chance that you wanted to talk to him just as badly as he did with you, a chance that you counted down the hours till he got to see you just as he did, a chance that there would be something out of this random crush he developed on a late tuesday afternoon a few weeks ago.

“i assumed you were buying these for your girlfriend,” you finally spat out, doing anything to avoid eye contact. his smirk only getting wider, and his cheeks a shade redder.

“you got it all wrong,” he chuckled once more, admiring your sudden shyness. “i wouldn’t be coming to this flower store with the knowledge that such a pretty girl worked here if i did have a girlfriend.” he casually told you as he fixed his jacket.

you looked up at him surprised, your heart beating a little faster at the sudden confession.

“don't act so shocked… why in the world would i need to buy my mother flowers everyday? i like getting her gifts, but her room is filled to the brim at this point… all ‘cause i didn't know how to ask for your number, so i just visited everyday to see you.” soonyoung’s heart now picking up a pace too, his confident expression masking the amount of thoughts he was having in the moment.

his confession ended up leaving you speechless, looking at him with wide eyes and a half-pout, half-smile trying to figure out if he's serious or not.

“your coffee will get cold.” he then pointed out, zipping up his jacket. “i promise to bring you a bouquet next time, with all your favourite flowers in it.” he smiled at you so adoringly as you nodded your head a little in response. “see you y/n!”

soonyoung soon left, leaving you in silence. it took you a few minutes to gather yourself together, remembering the coffee you were still holding in your hand, which was keeping its heat from your warm hands. you lifted the cup to your lips, noticing some writing on the side of it. your eyes quickly shifted to see what it said.

‘please text me. - soonyoung’ with his number written underneath and a cute doodle of a baby tiger next to his name.

that night you opened your phone and typed in his number into your contacts as soon as you got home. you saved his name as soonyoung, but struggled picking an emoji to put, stumped between a flower emoji and a tiger, but eventually coming to the conclusion a white heart would be the cutest. you spent the rest of that night texting him about literally everything, even calling him at some point.

the next day he kept his promise and brang a big bouquet full of your favourite flowers that you always rambled about to the store, with the offer of a date, which of course you would never decline. it didn't take long for you and soonyoung to start seeing each other outside of work. texts ended up in more dates, and dates ended up in promises of regularly seeing each other.

you would've never thought that the cute guy who came in to buy his ‘girlfriend’ flowers would become your boyfriend, your soonyoung. but maybe those weeks full of heartbreak and delusion were really worth it considering you had the privilege to finally call him yours, and he had the privilege to call you his.

[ijustloveharry]

REGULAR REBOUNDS / 2.1k words / fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're breaking up with me?" I asked, eyes wide.

Carlos and I had only been together for a couple months, so this was nothing too heartbreaking, but it was definitely unexpected.

"Yeah I just don't feel like we are really clicking, you know?"

No, I don't know.

"Sure. See you around" I rolled my eyes, exiting his car. Who takes a girl on a date and breaks up with her when dropping her off?

I pulled my phone out, scrolling to a contact that hasn't been clicked in awhile.

"Hey" he answered on the first ring

"Hey, you busy?"

"Nope. You and Carl broke up?"

"Carlos - yeah. Ugh, I'll explain more when I get there. You aren't seeing anyone?"

"Nah. Figured it was only time til this ended and I didn't want to leave you hanging." He mocked

"Whatever. I'll be there in 5".

I hung up and drove the couple blocks to Harry's apartment.

Harry was not boyfriend material. The first time we slept together was at a party in my first year, and he made it very clear that he did not date and that wouldn't change. Luckily, I told him I had no interest in dating him either.

Alas, a beautiful friendship was formed. A very hot, sexual friendship, but a friendship nonetheless.

I sent Harry a quick 'here' text before heading up the steps to his house.

"Hey." Harry winked as I sat down on the couch next to him.

"Hey Y/N, sorry to hear about you and Carlos." Niall smiled from the other sofa.

I shrugged, taking Harry's beer from his hand and finishing it off.

"Wasn't that serious anyway" I replied.

"At least you'll be around more" Niall smirked knowingly

"For now" I said, caving from Harry's pout and getting us each a beer from the fridge.

"Liz and Marty are gonna be over in a bit, and I think Ryder was also gonna stop by."

"Itll be nice to see them all." I smiled, handing Harry his beer.

"Yeah well, ya disappear every time you get a boyfriend"

"Conflict of interest to hang with my fuckbuddy and his friends when I start seeing someone. I'd love to stay friends, but I think Harry gets custody of you guys whenever we have to separate."

Niall laughed, feeling his pockets. "Ah, fuck. I'll be back."

He left the room, leaving Harry and I alone in the living room.

"Hi-" I was interrupted by Harry pressing his lips to mine, hand snaking onto my waist.

My eyes fluttered shut as he deepens the kiss, taking my beer bottle and placing it to the side. His hand found my bum and he pulled me into his lap, hands reaching into my hair.

"Whoa, get a room. I was gone for two bloody minutes!" Niall laughed, waving a joint.

I turned from straddling Harry's lap to sitting with my legs draped across, accepting the joint from Niall.

"Thought you didn't smoke?" Harry raised his eyebrows

"Carlos got me into it, surprisingly." I smiled, holding it out for him.

Harry leaned in, taking a hit from my fingers instead of grabbing it himself.

"I'll have to thank him for showing you how to have a little fun"

"Thank him for wasting my time" I mumbled, taking another hit before passing it back to Niall.

"Is that Y/N?"

Ryder's voice could be heard from the living room.

"Hey Ry" I smiled, standing to give him a hug "how have you been?"

"Not bad. I'm happy you're back with Harry! I've missed you."

"We're not together" Harry clarified, pulling me back down onto his lap. "Just fucking"

"Oh whatever. It's quite confusing from an outside view, yeah?"

"Marty and Liz are coming too, grab a beer and siddown bud" Niall said, pulling Ryder onto the couch next to him

"What about Carter?" I asked, noticing someone was missing

"He moved to LA" Harry mumbled "that's why Niall and I are roomies now"

"Whoa. Ive missed a lot." I laughed "Harry will have to fill me in later"

"We will be very busy later" Harry whispered, nipping at my ear

"Oi! I know you lot have been apart for however long but I don't need to keep seeing it" Niall said

"Sorry mate, but if you don't stay elsewhere tonight you're gonna have to hear it too"

"Harry!" I slapped his arm, chuckling at his warning

"You can stay with me" Ryder offered, feigning disgust

"We were gonna go to that karaoke pub off campus later if you wanna come with." Harry said, rubbing my leg

"Sure." I smiled, finishing the last of my beer. "What time were you guys thinking?"

"Whenever Marty gets here, I guess" Niall answered, passing the joint around again

"What's that?" Marty asked, poking his head in the room "I heard my name"

"Y/N!" Liz said, rushing over to give me a hug. "It's been forever"

"Yeah sorry I haven't been around much"

"Are you coming out with us?" Marty asked, hanging his coat

"She is, and we are leaving right now so you should probably put that back on" Harry said, standing to give Liz a hug.

"We have so much catching up to do" Liz said, taking my hand and leading me to walk with her.

"Ask away" I laughed, Liz and I leading the way to the bar.

"What happened with Carlos?"

"He took me on a super romantic date and then told me we 'didn't click' while dropping me off"

"Ouch"

"I mean yeah, getting dumped doesn't feel great" I shrugged "but we weren't together for that long."

"3 months is a decent amount of time" Liz reasoned "it's okay to be bummed"

I shrugged, not sure what to respond.

"Maybe now you and Harry can declare your love for one another" Liz wiggled her eyebrows and lit up a joint

I rolled my eyes, grabbing the joint from her hand "No"

"I didn't know you smoked"

"I'm a changed girl" I grinned

"Changed enough to commit to Harry?"

"Shut up" I laughed, nudging her off the sidewalk "We're just friends"

"Friends who have super passionate sex"

"What makes you qualified to define our sex as passionate?" I raised my eyebrows

Liz shrugs "lucky guess"

"What about you and Marty?"

"What about us?"

"I dunno. How are things?" I asked

"Complicated." Liz answered honestly

"Good complicated or bad complicated?"

"Complicated complicated"

I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the boys, seeing them yards behind us.

"I can't wait to do some shots and sing some karaoke" Liz cheered

"It's been so long since I've been" I smiled, seeing the bar up ahead

"Oh I guess hey? Well, if you're lucky I'll sing a duet with you"

"How romantic"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Two shots of tequila please" I ordered, grinning at Harry

"Ugh, tequila is disgusting"

"I drink to get wasted, not to enjoy the taste" I rolled my eyes, downing both shots

"Hey!"

"You complained, so you didn't get one" I shrugged, walking away from the bar and leaving him to pay

"Y/N! You should sing" Niall called from a little further ahead

"Im definitely not drunk enough yet" I laughed, pointing at the stage "You should go up there"

"Tell ya what, let's go do some shots and sing something together"

"Done deal" I grinned, heading back in the direction I came

"I'll never be able to convince Harry to sing, so at least someone wants to do it with me"

"Actually, he went up a couple weeks ago" Niall said, ordering a round of shots

I raised my eyebrows, glancing around for his curly hair

"Here you go" Niall handed me 3 shot glasses

"Cheers" I squinted, examining the clear liquid

"It's revolting. Get it over with as fast as possible"

I shot back all three, gagging on the last one.

"There you are" Harry said, finding his way to us "You owe me $14"

"You owe me an explanation" I replied, crossing my arms

"I'm gonna go pick a song" I gave Niall a thumbs up as he walked back to the stage

"What's up?" Harry asked, hand finding my waist

"I hear you sung some karaoke when I wasn't even here" I fake pouted "I think this hurts even more than my breakup 3 hours ago"

"Sorry about the breakup" Harry winced "and the karaoke was a huge mistake and never going to happen again"

"Nuh-uh. I can't believe you'd finally do it when I wasn't here!"

"I was trying to impress a girl" Harry mumbled "and it didn't even work. Please drop it"

I raised my eyebrows "So you're not trying to impress me?"

"I don't need to impress you, I can be myself around you. Plus, you'll sleep with me regardless"

"Why do you have to be an asshole when you're being endearing?"

"Just being myself" He grinned, slapping my ass as I left to go sing karaoke

*****

"You were really hot up on stage" Harry mumbled holding my hand as we walked back to his and Niall's house.

"Thanks" I laughed, lighting the joint Niall handed me on our way out of the bar

"I cant believe your BOYFRIEND convinced you to get stoned and I couldn't" Harry pouted, puffing the joint

"Ex-boyfriend, and I couldn't get you to do karaoke so I think we're even." I giggled.

The shots we took post-karaoke were still very much affecting Harry and I both, easily noticed by the way we were zigzagging around the sidewalk.

"Can you believe I let the girl PICK the song and she still didn't leave with me" Harry grumbled "fuckin tease"

"I'd never do that to you" I pouted, stopping to steady myself on his arm. "I feel a little silly"

"You are silly" Harry chuckled, "come on."

Harry squatted down so I could hop on his back

"Weeeee!"

"Oi! Stop kicking your legs or you're gonna knock us both over"

"Sorry" I giggled, holding the joint to his mouth

"So you wanna talk about Carlos?"

"What about him?"

"Are you actually okay? I know that rebounding is kind of our thing, but it happened today so it's okay if you just wanna talk about it"

I hiccuped, trying really hard to focus on his words. Harry must be much less drunk than me to coherently say all those words.

"We were together for like one second and we didn't even sleep together" I confessed, likely due to the liquor

"What?" Harry stopped, turning his head to look at me. "No wonder he broke up with you. How come?"

I shrugged, taking a puff of the joint "might be the liquor talking, but it's never as good as it is with you"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was honestly pretty relieved when he broke up with me. I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't plan to break up with him, but I dunno. I was excited when I realized that meant I got to call you and finally get laid"

"Can I tell you a secret? And this might also be the liquor talking."

"Wha?"

"I called the last girl I hooked up with Y/N. While I was cumming. Yikes"

"Whoa, what?" I said, blaming the butterflies on the alcohol

"Yeah, I was even hanging out with her for awhile and thought it might go somewhere. Then when we finally slept together, I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time"

Harry stopped, letting go of my legs so they hit the ground. I moaned in protest, leaning on his arm

"I think I'm too drunk to have sex" Harry mumbled

"That's too bad, I was really banking on you doing most of the work"

Harry laughed, finishing off the joint and tossing it in a nearby garbage

"I hate to be like, needy, but can we just go lay in bed and cuddle?" Harry asked sheepishly

"Yes please. This weed is making me extra relaxed"

The rest of the walk to Harry's was short and uneventful. He offered me his jacket and then hung it up when we got inside.

"Hey Y/N?"

"Hm?" I asked, cuddling into him further. The feeling of his body heat and the duvet were consuming in my current state.

"Don't go away this time, yeah?"

"I'm not going anywhere, H. This bed is so comfortable"

"No" he chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead "let's just see where this can go"

I sat up, eyeing him curiously

"Harry Edward Styles, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?*

"I hate labels, and I definitely wouldn't want to ask you when I'm this drunk. But you're one of my favourite people, yeah? So... Just stick around for a bit"

"Plus - the killer sex" I mumbled, nuzzling back into his chest

"Plus the killer sex" Harry agreed

[maximoffslilwitchintraining]

Don’t forget to say goodbye.

A/N: its officially spooky season!!! And I’ve decided to do a sort of kinktober/spooky fics for this month. I’ll be commiting to a story a week. So be sure to request characters, kink, and spooky creature. I’ll also be picking random notes where ive written down, a character pairing, a kink and a type of creature. 

This time it was, wanda x reader, ghost, and breath play. Enjoy ;)

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Alcohol, choking, hot wax, ghost/demon wanda, posessiveness, blood, bruises, swearing, smut, ouija board

It is starting to get close to midnight, and they’re still not there. You had invited your friends over for drinks and for some spooky fun. Yelena had gone to pick them up like an hour ago, but had yet to return. You were pacing around worrying something had happened to them when the door flung open.

“We´re back!” Yelena stumbled in through the door with a bag in each hand. 

“I can see that.” You said in a dry tone. “What took you so long, and what's all this?” You pointed at the bags. As they hit the counter the sound of ringing from glass bottles hitting each other went through the flat, and so the mystery was solved. 

“You think we’ll need that much alcohol?” You asked as Thor wandered with yet another bottle of liquor.

“Oh no, this one is just mine.” He held the bottle close to his chest, directing his body away from you as you swiped your hand in front of him pretending to try and steal it.

“Well don't you think the ghosts would like some spirits too?” Yelena smirked. At the mere mention of a ghost, you could see Peter's face grow pale. You weren't entirely sure why he was here. When you had all first discussed doing the ouija board, he was clearly freaked out and if it wasn't for Thor insisting he’d come he would’ve more than likely stayed home. Steve wasn’t too fond of the idea either. He was steadfast in his beliefs that “ghosts don't exist”, and yet he refused to actually touch the board, only agreeing to watch the rest of the group play from afar. Thor full-heartedly believed in spirits and held no fear for the dead, only respect. You two had met through a Norse pagan coven, not many knew that this giant beefy guy was into crystals and worshipping the freja. 

The person you really hadn't expected this night, was Yelena's sister. Natasha had really just meant to visit Yelena, but since she forgot these plans, Nat was simply forced to tag along. She didn't seem to mind all that much. She found herself a beer and a comfy spot on the couch. 

You started setting up the board as Yelena handed out drinks.

“Are you joining?” Thor asked as he sat down next to Nat on the couch.

“Me? umm yeah sure why the hell not.” She leaned forward her elbows on her knees. Watching you light the candles, kneeling on the floor by the wooden coffee table.

“Well great we get 5 people after all.” You received a frown from Steve, who was walking toward the couch at a snail's pace.

“Alright! let's talk to some dead people.” Yelena sat down opposite you. Peter took the last spot on the couch, nervously holding on to a glass of coke.  Steve moved a chair to sit down in a corner he deemed at a safe distance.  

“Alright, everyone two fingers on the cup.” The original piece had been lost and so a glass replaced it. You started with the basics questions, is anyone there etc but nothing happened, which had steve saying I told you. You all sat in silence waiting for anything to happen. Yelena started talking out loud to any potential spirits, essentially just sharing her every thought. Natasha moved her pointer finger and placed it on top of yours taping them a few times. You smiled at one another, before looking back down. You tapped her back, but before Nat could respond the glass started moving. Everyone went silent, as it slowly moved across the board.

“Lena, are you moving it?” Steve sounded from the corner. 

“Of course I'm not fucking moving it, I was in the middle of telling a story and they cut me off.“ Her eyes were fixed on the cup.

It was just about to reach the word “no” when peter freaked and pulled away his hand, accidentally knocking over his glass. The loud bang made everyone jump and let go of the cup. But things did not quiet down.

“It’s still moving,” Yelena whispered moving away from the board. Everyone watched as it slowly circled no over and over til it all of a sudden went sliding off the board landing in Natasha's lap.

“Nope, I’m done ill be in the bedroom if you need me.” Steve left the room slamming the door behind him.

They all watched Nat where she sat holding the cup in her hands.

“Is this normal?” She asked turning to you. You only shook your head unable to speak.

“What the hell did you do to piss off the ghost Natasha?” Yelena laughed. 

“How is this funny?” Peter seemed to be on the verge of tears. 

“Peter you wanna go check on steve for me?” He took you up on the offer clearly needing a break The rest of you got back to the board. Natasha was now slightly hesitant to put her hands back on the board.

Yelena was the first to speak. ”Do you not like my sister?” She asked and sure enough, the cup moved to no. Yelena clearly found it amusing. “Why not?” She pried. and it started spelling something out, C…A…N… “Can't keep her hands to herself” Yelena exclaimed. “Wow, Nat did you just slut shamed by a ghost?!” She laughed. Nat was however not laughing. You both looked at each other in confusion. 

“I’m sorry Y/N I made you uncomfortable…” She started.

“What? No Nat I didn’t do that, you’re all good.” She seemed to believe you but was clearly still unsettled. Yelena caught the moment and was quick to follow up.

“You don’t like Natasha touching Y/N?” It moved again spelling out something new. T…H…E…Y…R…E…M..I…N…E 

With those words a shiver wet down your spine. 

“Alright, that's a bit much even for me,” Thor said nervously looking at you.

“Yeah, I think it's time to stop,” Yelena agreed. 

“Are you sure?” You were certainly creeped out, but also curious.

“Dude I don’t know much about this stuff, but that doesn't sound good.” Natasha swiped the cup off the table.

“I say we go out?” Yelena stood up. Most everyone agreed, wanting to get the hell out of your flat as fast as possible.

“Boys! All clear!” Natasha yelled as she walked over knocking on the door. The two peeked out confirming that you had fact stopped.

“You wanna come with us out?” Thor barely had to say the words before Peter was putting on his jacket.

“You coming Y/N?” Yelena asked.

“I’m a bit tired I think I’ll stay here.” You leaned back against the counter.

“I can stay with you, if you want?” Natasha offered, looking worried.

“I’m okay guys really just gonna watch a movie and then go to sleep.” You smiled trying to reassure them.

“Alright, but I'm taking this.” she picked up the board placing it under her arm. “Don’t want you messing around with that alone.” 

And with that, they all left. Were you scared to be left alone here? Hell yes, but something was urging you to stay and maybe that should have been your first warning.

You didn't bother blowing out the candles, they were black pillar candles that you had found in the flat when you moved in, and you found them quite comforting. You settled on watching The Adams family since it was just the right amount of spookiness for you at this moment. 

After a few minutes, your eyelids got heavy and you are just about ready to drift off when the film comes to a stop. You frown reaching for the remote with a groggy vision, attempting to press play over and over, but all it did was a load.

“For fuck sake!” You yelled sitting up, and the tv went out. So did the lamp lit in the corner of the room. You froze, eyes set on the figure that was standing lurking in that corner. You wanted to run but couldn’t move an inch.

The figure started moving towards you and it was like a spell broke and you quickly hid under the blanket, certain you were about to be murdered, but nothing happened. Just silence. Until you felt the weight of someone sitting down next to you.

“Come on now don’t hide from me sweet thing.” Fingers gently traced up and down your leg. Your cheeks became wet with tears as you prayed for it to go away.

“That’s not very nice.” The voice growled, ripping the blanket off you in one motion. You scrambled away til you sat back against the other side of the couch. Across from you sat a woman, with long brown hair and glowing red eyes. She had a mischievous smile on her face, as she watched you try to get away.

“Now now sweetheart I’m not going to eat you.” She giggled. “Or am I!” She launched forward, teeth clashing together inches from your face. The laugh she let was haunting nothing human about it. She quieted down and focused on your face. Her hand comes to your cheek, to wipe away a few tears.

“You’re so cute when you’re scared.” She whispered leaning forward only to lick a teardrop of your cheek. She moved away, and her fingers traced up one of the black candles. Her fingertips were black and you found yourself mesmerized by them as they danced over the flame.

“I’m glad you like my candles.” Her head turned back to you, a blank expression on her face.

“Yours?” you asked without thinking. She smiled dipping her fingers into the hot wax. 

“Yes, mine.” She tilted her head. “And now…” Her hand grabbed your face, her nails dug into your cheeks and jaw and the still hot wax burned your skin making you gasp. “...so are you.” She leaned down licking her lips, before moving down and pulling down your shorts. You stared at her nibbling on your thigh, surprised by the suddenness of her action. Red eyes looked up at you from between your legs before moving in and licking up your pussy. You let out a moan as she sucked on your clit. You hadn't meant to be so loud but the woman clearly enjoyed your response, sucking harder. You closed your eyes leaning back, only for her to stop. You felt her climb up your body leaning in for a kiss, you leaned in trying to deepen the kiss, and she sucks your lip into her mouth before biting down roughly on it. Once she lets go you taste iron, lip stinging. She’s quick to lap up the blood, before leaning in and whispering in your ear.

“Look at you letting your guard down…” her hand wraps around your throat. “...silly little thing.” Her grip tightens drastically, cutting off your airways. You struggle to try to loosen her grip, but she doesn't seem to notice, her smile is feral as she strangles you. Those red glowing eyes are the last thing you see before passing out. 

Your eyes fly open. The clock on the wall tells you it’s 4 am. You sit up panting and looking around, she’s nowhere to be seen. The tv is on once more and the credits are rolling.  The lamp is also on, and so are the candles. Oh thank god, it was just a dream you think to yourself. You turn off the tv and blow out the candles heading to the bathroom to shower and cool off before heading to bed. You hurry into the bathroom and lock the door still spooked by it all. You turn on the hot water and start to strip when you catch yourself in the mirror. You moved closer feeling the hair raise on your arms once more, as you stared at the bruise around your neck and the black wax going down your chest. You backed away from the mirror, and a pair of hands catch you landing on your back as a cold breath hits your neck.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie