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lovesickeros · 1 year ago

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☆ even the gods bleed

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, injury, light angst {☆} word count 2.3k

What was justice?

Focalors had asked herself that question many times during the long nights she spends awake pouring over the prophecy of a dead God, words replaying in her mind like a broken record until the sun rose like a blooming flower.

She was the God of Justice, an Archon, yet she herself lacked the answer to such a simple and yet so very complex question.

How does one define what is just and what is not? How does she know that what she believes to be just is right? Is it justice if one being alone may sway the scales of justice on a whim? What justice is there to be found in the cold, watery grave that awaits her nation?

She does not know.

Perhaps she may never know.

What she does know, at least, is that this is not justice.

It is a mockery of it.

She stands before the bloodied, broken body like the judge, her sword held so tightly in her hand her fingers feel stiff, a dull ache adding to the weight of what she's seen. For a long, horrible moment she almost thinks they are dead – something she would have reveled in, only a day prior – before she sees the subtle rise and fall of their chest. Breathing, but barely.

The rain felt heavier upon her shoulders at the realization – she was not sure if it was in relief or horror.

Her nails dig into her palm, mind stuck somewhere between that abject horror and confusion so palpable she swore she could hear the gears in her head turning.

For a long, silent moment as she stares upon the body beneath the heavy rain..she wonders if this is how it all ends instead. If the world itself will simply crumple in on itself and cease – without its heart, it will wither, after all – long before the waters ever swallow her nation whole.

Because, try as she might to rationalize it, for every drop of rain that hits her like pins and needles, soaking her down to the bone..the body of the imposter is completely dry. Even the water pooling along the stones dares not to leave so much as a splotch against their ragged, torn clothes.

She remembers the meeting so very clearly, and she thinks she is a fool to not have noticed sooner – the Creator upon their gilded throne, finger pointed in accusation at the visage far too similar to their own. The imposter. She remembers the lilt of their voice as they called for their death as easily as one would speak of the weather – and to no one other then herself would she admit the spark of fear it had ignited within her. Because beneath the divine charade there was a sick enjoyment in the way they looked upon the imposter – like a bug beneath their shoe.

She understands, now.

She had thought that perhaps finally – finally – she could do right by her people, by her Creator, if she rid Teyvat of this..intrusion.

Now she sees herself as what it all really is – blind lambs following the herder.

Perhaps she would be considered a heretic under the eyes of the law – beneath the weight of justice, heavy as the heart that bears its sins. Perhaps this is a mistake, one she would come to regret.

But for now, she sheathes her blade with unsteady hands, the sound making her ears ring – for what she had almost done, what she had already done – as she stumbles like a newborn lamb towards the broken body of..

..What, exactly? Human? Divine? She is not so sure what to call them. Creator? No. The name is bitter upon her tongue, now, burning like liquid flame down her throat.

Where once she had spoken it in reverence and admiration, it felt hollow and empty, now.

Her vision wavers as she kneels down against the rain soaked stones, the rain upon her back growing heavier as she reaches a shaky hand forth – and for a moment, however brief, she feels the weight of expectation, of a title she fears she may never live up to, wash away with the waters that fall from the heavens.

The bruises and blood smeared across their skin are like strokes of a paintbrush, their body the canvas from which such horrid art is created. It makes her ill.

Doubt wavers her composure briefly – her position is already unsteady. She has never been seen as an equal to many of the other Archons. Her own people do not see her as their Archon, but an actor in a grand play that they shall simply toss aside and replace like a broken doll the moment she bores them.

What does she have left to lose?

She reaches out again, her hand settling onto their shoulder and turning them onto their back. She..isn't sure what to do, actually. She's never been particularly physically capable – she tended to avoid fights, even if she oft provoked them – and she was certainly no healer.

Yet what choice does she have but to march on anyway? She is in the heart of the city, it is far more dangerous here then anywhere else..she had little time to make her move.

Fontaine was, after all, a nation founded on the principle of justice. To know an injustice has been made against the most Divine..the entire nation was in a frenzy.

Her eyes dart around nervously, hands clasped tight on their shoulders and her lips drawn into a taut line – someone would notice her absence. One of the Archons would point out her absence in the coordination of the search.

Her options were just as limited as her time – she couldn't just take them out of the city. Security was tight, and as much as she fancied herself an escape artist – Neuvillette could hardly keep her in one place for too long – she doubted she could do the same with the limp body of the imposter in tow.

..The Palais Mermonia it was, then.

Her room had a secret entrance that few knew about, and even fewer would dare to traverse. She just..had to hide them there for a bit and hope Neuvillette wouldn't notice anything different.

Probably.

Still, there was the problem of actually..transporting the body. As grim as it sounded. Her only solace was the fact she didn't have to worry about them catching a cold, at least, and their breaths were still audible, if only barely. So she had to resort to some..unexpected methods.

Seeing the limp form of, well, the imposter – she'd really have to ask for something else to call them when they woke up – stuck in a bubble of hydro wasn't exactly on her bucket list.

Then again, neither was treason.

Well, first time for everything, right?

It wasn't breaking the law if no one else knew about it.

..Neuvillette didn't have to know about it, really. It was fine.

She could, of course, technically try to talk some sense into Neuvillette – he'd listen to her, right? She thought she was pretty close with him..but he was also the one person more obsessed with justice then she was. Such a stickler for the law..so maybe she's breaking a few, it's fine.

But he was also pretty devout, as much as he tried to keep his worship private – with Focalors around, nothing was really secret. Maybe she could get him to settle down long enough to prove it.

..How was she going to prove it?

An exaggerated groan escaped her lips as she led the bubbled imposter – she really wished she didn't have to resort to that, it would be a lot a more awkward to explain then dragging the body around – through the winding streets of Fontaine. She's just glad she's already memorized the entire city like the back of her hand..and a little dramatics went a long way. People listened when the Hydro Archon spoke, and she was suddenly very, very glad for that fact, even if they treated her more like a mascot then a God.

And partially because she, maybe, just a little..stole a few documents detailing the layout and a little personal exploration of her own – but what Neuvillette didn't know couldn't hurt him!

After what felt like hours, though was really no more then half an hour at best, she'd managed to drag herself – soaked to the bone with rain – and the conveniently bubbled imposter up through the secret entrance and into her room.

The perceived safety, as flimsy as it was, was..comforting. Until she heard the rustle of fabric, the clearing of a throat and the pop of a bubble as she, in her surprise, popped it – and then the thud of the imposter hitting the floor.

She felt a bit of regret about that part, at least, wincing.

"Lady Furina." His voice was as sharp and cool as she remembered it always being – like fresh spring water, she'd heard it described. Soothing. It did not feeling very soothing right about now.

She turned sharply on her heel, a forced smile tugging at her lips on reflex, every muscle in her body tensed – she probably looked like a wet cat right about now, soaked with rain, but that was the last thing on her mind.

"Do you mind explaining what, exactly, you did?" Not what you're doing, she notes – what she did. He was mad. Oh, she was really in for a scolding now. She twiddled her thumbs, laughing weakly, though it quickly dies out at the awkward, tense silence.

"Well, you see – it's rather complicated! I can– I can explain." Her attempts to diffuse are met with a raised brow and the sharp tap of his cane. Every single thought is plagued with the urge to run, but the unsteady breathes of the 'imposter' keep her rooted in place. "Well?"

She was sweating bullets, her nails digging into her palm as she scrambled for any excuse that could warrant her not getting hauled off and scolded thoroughly at best – she was coming up empty. How was she supposed to prove that the 'imposter' was very much not what the 'Creator' said they were? Their unconscious body was doing no one any favors, certainly.

"The Creator is lying," She blurts out, immediately regretting her impulsiveness when she feels the sudden weight of his stare – the piercing hues of his eyes that remind her just who is the strongest between them. It is not her, she knows. It never has been. "You can see for yourself! Don't you trust me, Neuvillette–?"

Her voice is cut off by the sharp click of his cane as he strides across the room in only a few steps, his height making her feel like a child about to scolded. She hated it, but she grit her teeth through the exchange. She reminded herself that this was for the sake of the 'imposter' and any affront to her ego was..tolerable.

To her credit, too, she didn't immediately lash out when she saw him poke at their body with his cane, turning them onto their back – she wanted too, though. She considered it, but the thought was quickly shot down when his stare turned back upon her, and she felt frozen in place again, her tongue a heavy weight in her mouth.

Yet she couldn't shake the sudden tenseness to his shoulders, his brows furrowed and a distant look to his eyes. It was..haunting, in a way.

She knows it well, she realizes. The realization and acceptance, the crumbling of every solid foundation you've ever known – leaving you to flounder in the waves, alone and afraid.

The gentleness in which he picks up the limp body surprises her though, his cane set aside. The rain howls like a horrid storm outside, but she cannot focus on anything but the furrow of their brows, the soft noise that escapes their lips.

"I trust that you know that this must stay between us," His voice is soft, like the gentle lap of waves against the shore, as he sets their body down against the bed, his hand lingering against their cheek with something almost like reverence – and if her eyes do not deceive her, affection. "Lady Furina."

She does not hesitate to agree.

"Well– well of course!" She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at the feeling of her wet clothes clinging to her skin, a heavy weight that feels like it's dragging her down. "Just what do you take me for?"

He doesn't deign to respond.

It only makes her fume more.

Not that he seems to notice, unbuttoning his heavy outerwear and tossing it on the bed, rolling up his sleeves and focusing on the injured– er..yeah, she really needed a new name for them. Calling them imposter felt wrong.

"So long as you understand, then we will have no problems." She huffs again, pouting and puffing up her cheeks, sitting down on the other end of the bed with only an occasional glance towards him as he worked at peeling away the ragged clothes and examining the injuries marring their skin.

She suddenly felt out of place.

..What was she supposed to be doing?

As if noticing her sudden quietness, Neuvillette sighed, his back turned to her though his attention very much falling upon her. She really hated the feeling like she was being dissected whenever he looked at her. It was unnerving. She doesn't know how anyone else handles it..

"If you are so eager to do something, Lady Furina, then please have something brought up for when our..guest awakens. They will need to recover their strength."

Finally! Something she can do. She perks up, her heels clicking on the floorboards as she darts out like a bullet, unable to stay still for so much as a moment.

Neuvillette, for his part..

Feels an odd sense of serenity as he stares upon the troubled features of the..guest. A peace that lessens the burdens upon his shoulders, the weight of a nation upon his back.

He cannot hear the rain, anymore.

..It must have stopped.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #imposter au #focalors #furina #neuvillete #a family can be a dragon an archon and his 300 other children who reverse adopted him #u date him its a package deal sorry #u now have like 300 children g-dspeed #also tagged spoilers on neuvi's part bc its kinda a spoiler??? sort of #also this can be read as platonic or romantic on neuvi's part #can u tell i like focalors btw :)#also gonna be swapping between focalors/furina bc SOMEONE sent me a theory and it sent me spiraling im gonna be ill #u know who u r and ur days r numbered #can be read as romantic between reader & neuvi but only bc i know focalors rubs it in his face she found the actual creator first #anyway can u tell focalors is my fav pt2 i wont shut up abt her its terminal atp #focalors..................#anyway *doesnt post fr months. randomly drops a 2k word fic. leaves and doesnt elaborate*#starts out v serious ends v silly #wrote this in one sitting im gonna go pass out now gn

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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months ago

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"Arrogant, ruthless, and by all reports (including his own) utterly charming."

(I don't know why I drew this but please take Revolutionary War British officer George, I think it suits him, okay!!!)

+ George Russell the type of guy to t-pose in front of rebels

+ the usual

Okay first of all, process, as always:

I drew this in one day hahaha....Actually really fun! I haven't finished anything in almost a month, and haven't painted for even longer, so I'm kinda dying at the fact that 18th century George Russell got me motivated 😭 Sometimes when painting, I realize I have free will and can actually just start painting over the lineart, and that's the best moment of every drawing process 🙏

Also I'm very proud of his face!!! I've said before, but art progression is such a weird thing. You'll keep repeating to your self "I'm no good at [insert art thing.]" And then randomly realized you can in fact do it. That's me with drawing real people's faces 😭 I'm just so shocked I got his face pretty good in one try!!!

Okay about the pose and quote. God its so fun to misappropriate quotes for my own evil deeds. Both of these are from this one officer from the Revolution: Banastre Tarleton. Idk, I randomly saw his painting in a history video, and it's stuck in my mind ever since. And then yesterday, bcs I spent a lot of time looking at George, I'm like "hey you know what he kinda reminds me of-" and thus we have this.

I just found that quote about him from some historian to be funny, so I put it as a caption, as I would with Napoleon. This won't be an AU by any means but. I think if George was in the Revolution, he'd be the most stereotypical, evil British villain in American media type guy ever. And Tarleton is kinda that guy tbh, to the point where him and others like Arnold Benedict are the poster boys of evil Revolution guys. He even has a mocking nickname! "Bloody Tarleton/Ban", very "Osama bin Russell," no? 😭

Some notable moments from Tarleton's campaign that I think fit George: Apparently killed a bunch of American soldiers after they surrendered, making sure everyone was dead(😭😭), threatened to burn an American general's house down to make him surrender and then took him hostage, went toe to toe with George Washington himself and Washington even taunted him and Tarleton got a shot in, has a helmet named after him(very slayful.)

#me rushing to finish this before the race as if its in any way relevant HDJFKGLVLV #please take my historical art ty <3 #i just always draw these out of left field things as some sort of blood sacrifice idk #but wow hey!!! a drawing of someone that isnt the same 4 drivers i always draw sjfkkg #atp i should consider doing requests- sure bud.#i was gonna leave who this is referenced off a secret #and be like. whoever knows which painting this is referenced off of ill draw you smth!!!#but i like the lore too much....#i cant resist writing up niche historical stuff its like an addiction #gah george has really crept up on me and this is the final straw djfkkg #as suzuki said to me 'as soon as you make 18th century comparisons. its so over'#VERY TRUE YES.#anyways take comically evil slayful british officer boy George #i hope this isnt way too niche 😭😭 but i know it is already deep in my heart #f1 #formula 1 #george russell #gr63 #f1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art.#also idk how to feel abt drawing smth so british 😭 ...i feel dirty...i feel blemished JDKFKGKGLB #unfortunately i dont think i could draw any drivers as american revolution war heroes 😔#so my only food is comically evil brits. its fine. its ironic.#teh flag is like. the way George is concerned abt the British crown irl okay. 😭

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago

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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him #I always knew he was a parental figure for me #but now I connected the dots #How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life #that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so #and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life #ofc ud become attached #i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him #he occupies most of my thoughts honestly #But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life #i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an #bloom and be free #and that's what ill try to do #but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness #its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired #somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea #how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi #g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if #lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways #sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay #yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le #go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk #how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate #my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t #me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol #so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest #y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t #ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti #ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd

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odysseys-blood · 4 months ago

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im never getting over how belphie just...yoinked beleth's halo. like the artifact says "given" but he very much did not give it 😭

i lowkey think it was to take some of the heat off of beleth for being a fallen angel and to keep others from being too loud about it but still he did it in the most goofy manner possible. (and smthn smthn a crown symbolizing protection for his people and its from the first person he wanted to keep safe personally)

#cliffnotes/.txt #whb #whb spoilers #and i love him for it #these two are much sweeter than i thought they'd be and im glad for it #still throwing me for a loop w/ the country accent but ive gotten mostly(?) used to it #how many southerners in this tag did this event awaken lmao bc i had to take a break 2 seconds after belphie said #what in tarnation.#like sir.#all of my comfort will leave immediately if beleth or belphie call mc puddin or some shit thatll be my last staw #like i dont think they would but also i cant be sure what the translation team will do atp #and that prospect scares me just a little bit.#last point ant ill stop rambling funny u can just take the halo #like ik andre takes the ones he wears but like #idk it rly is just some ring of light (or darkness for beleth) and they dont feel anything from it #which makes sense ig its not directly connected

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valcubust · 9 months ago

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testing out new markers with a Saf! (The Golden Rose by @anathemafiction ❤️)

#saturation is a little weird. i am also not sure how to deal with the little dots everywhere #but ill figure it out #anyways! I'm on playthrough uh..... idk probably 5 of tgr atp?#usually obsessed with Hadrian #but I can't lie. Lance got me like this 👀#safya #safya romanus #the golden rose if #anathemafiction #its been months but i still can't stop obsessing over The Golden Rose by @anathemafiction. like. its so good #i would buy it SEVERAL more ti #times if i could #my art #doodle

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kaiserkisser · 1 month ago

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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )

#tw vent #yes ik i have a vent blog #but idk why i dont wanna go there #ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it #but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3 #Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude #i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late #i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready #i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me #nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen #WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH #and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh #im just tired atp #idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday #i dont know how to feel #idk if im even rly feeling anything atp #its just that i really fucking hate being here #I wanna get the fuck out #but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally #for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda #and then that made me feel bad for hating her #but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted #i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it #if i speak im being rude and backtalking #if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring #the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth

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opikiquu · 6 months ago

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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE

#★ arin rambles #‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you #AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY #OH MY LORD #OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I #AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video #‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE #I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY #Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute #HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever #any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU #IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY #IM COVERED IN DIRT #IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN #oh goodness me oh my #im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick #Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything #hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW #IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut #ly DOOMED #yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton #TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE #i womder how crazy i look right now #Sighs lovingly at him..

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vyvansecrashing · 1 day ago

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can russia and north korea just nuke us already this is hopeless

#sorry to be so fatalistic on main i just have zero faith in the american public atp #i just rly wanted to believe that more americans couldve used this opportunity to prove to the rest of the world that we arent all a bunch #of sensationalist/conspiracy-driven/aggressively braindead/violent/bigoted alt-right lunatics #& i never had much faith in kamala & walz to begin with obviously im incredibly cynical towards these status quo gatekeepers and the #downright impotence of the neoliberal democratic party #but this wouldve been an easy swerve away from dozens MORE of horrible awful inhumane policies that will ultimately vanquish #the quality of life for the entire american working class like myself and our already pisspoor education system and our lousy #climate change policies and impossible living standards #but no unfortunately there is no way in hell for americans to prove even a modicum of intelligence or worth we're all basically suicidal #and despite my own immense yank bashing tendencies and complete disdain for our government i really wanted this country & my ppl to defy #our own reputation of being so fucking stupid and backwards i really did. in the tiniest little place of my heart was legitimate hope #& a tiny bit of patriotism thats now been squashed completely & this was just another large-scale international humiliation that we legit #voted that guy BACK IN after everything that has happened the last four even eight years. its unbelievable.#again obviously i dont like kamala but it still wouldve been a grand opportunity to stall against what the gop is already destroying #and with push and shove we could have made slight progress forward as a country and try to protect our social programs #be it as flawed as they are and with enough support we could have strengthened them a little. make drugs less expensive. continue forward #with clean energy decreasing our use of fossil fuels even more.#protect our education system so the up and coming generations could receive higher standards of learning than what the rest of us had #NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. im too poor to continue living here and im too poor to fucking leave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY THIS WAS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY LONG THANK U FOR READING IF U DID MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH RIGHT NOW SO I DONT KNOW HOW #INTELLIGIBLE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE #and if this makes anyone mad @ all then ill just delete it cuz by god i dont need more grief and self hatred !#txt

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nyaskitten · 9 months ago

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Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.

#they rob cinder of the hair being colored like smoke #they shrink his brows #they dont even fucking TRY with the smoke detailing #they give him a hideously bisected collar in favor of an admittedly awesome but completely non-canon armor piece #seriously its like they WANT to fuck me up mentally!#/j #i am very passionate about this shit tho #i WILL fight till the end to see cinder get his so-deserved justice #also maybe its just me but the poster makes him look weird .. not a fan #ALSO THEY SHRUNK HIS BIG ':3' MOUTH FUCK THIS.#its like you can TELL its the same guy but it doesnt FEEL that way #they slapped the boring generic-ass wildbrain mouth on him #i shouldnt be getting this angry about it but i am sorry .#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #raine's rambles #i AM gonna have to make him my oc atp huh #idk why im complaining so much ill get over it eventually #ill be pissed but #ill live.

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gemharvest · 2 months ago

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Fuck I think my period is being weird agian. uuuuuuuuuuugh is this gonna be something I can't Ignore.

#ramblings #checked my post history. it wouldve been OVER a month since my last one and without getting tmi i think im technically on it #but theres been. no blood. uh #<- usually gets bad back aches and a fairly heavy flow. has experienced neither #well at least i dont think. my backs kinda been eh but ive assumed its just bc ive been doing a lot of sitting lately #mmmmmmmmm i could just be starting it i hope im just starting it. i dont wanna be having an issue bc i dont wanna go to a doctor #but this is starting to be a pattern #bc of other things thatve been going on lately im worried it might be pcos. but im not like. self-diagnosing that shit #but thats why im worried cuz i rlly dont wanna go to a doctor FUCK. ok whatever im ignoring this again #<- if it turns out this isnt just the start of my period ill talk to my mom bc this is definitely a pattern atp

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lovesickeros · 5 months ago

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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

#asks #Anonymous #sagau #tsaritsa #like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work #but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the “after” of the first meeting #because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST #but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question #which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake “creator” calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway #you just made it 10x easier #also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY #tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u #LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault #aka my drafts #i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy #this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens #i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please #putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse #basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte #does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me #head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS #lays down. explodes

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