#like it's perfectly fine to take a day to rot if you need one sometimes

[wildfairies]

oof. it's been a long time since i felt this depressed this many days in a row.

[chocoqtelle]

𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝﹕𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 ♡

you may be called to multiple piles, that's perfectly fine ! remember that not every message may resonate. take what resonates and leave the rest. tarot is not completely certain and things may change. do not use tarot as a replacement for professional advice. divider credit to @sister-lucifer

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄

okayyyy 🤭 seems like someone's self focused right now. you're dodging these desperate mfs and focusing on your finances. you oughta give yourself more credit for that at least. choosing attention from yourself over attention from others is rough. and it's clearly paying off because you are GLOWING. if you've been getting more attention that's why. you're looking better than ever right now. you don't need anyone to take care of you... but if you want that then there's plenty of options. you don't even have to put effort in. it's all self concept. as long as you acknowledge how perfect you are and what you deserve, you'll get exactly that. you've been working hard, clearing out old patterns, all that. so why would you be shocked that things are going well/going to go well? you deserve that! you worked your ass off to get to this point and you act like you didn't sometimes. whatever help you may have got wasn't near as much as you put into yourself. reap your rewards with no shame. this is your well deserved prize.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎

"i don't know if i want her or her" energy. you got options for just about everything. you're in that empress mode (regardless of gender dw.) you're pouring into your creative talents and you're doing great. keep expressing yourself, don't worry about what's weird! it's fun! that's what matters. you could have some annoying exes/haters and honestly just take it as an ego boost. they're obsessed with you for a reason. but isn't everyone? you don't have to worry about anyone. grabbing for scraps of stardust when you're the star is the life they chose. you, however, have an unlimited source and you should enjoy it. if you're thinking of going bigger with your creative talents/career. you definitely should. you have the talent whether you wanna admit it or not. "what if I fail?" then you can try again or move on. your life won't be over. what if you win? believe in yourself more. believe you'll make it regardless of what happens. if you're worried about money, let it go. god/the universe/spirit guides/ancestors/whatever applies will take care of it. just trust things will work and opportunities will reach you soon. you could have that perfect duality too is what I'm hearing. geek girl vibes (it's on Netflix still, I think.)

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

the body is BODYINGGGGG. if you don't know that, you must be blind. and don't start talking about some "but hip dips 😖 but tummy but-" nobody in real life cares about that. if it's your body, it's nice and loveable by default. you're like the "airport girl" phenomenon where people see the prettiest person ever at a random place then never see them again and they're just haunted by their beauty. you're probably resting right now but make sure you're not rotting. it's good to still take care of yourself. I don't know if you're insecure or not, but if you are I will personally come through the screen and yell at you (affectionately.) because you are so gorgeous. pinterest level pretty. moodboard pretty. poetry pretty. you could have people writing like "her bosoms jiggled gracefully in the wind like hanging grapes." 😭 being pretty is one thing but being kindhearted on top is just extra. sweet and pretty??? fine you win 😒 save some beauty for the rest of us. you could also be an Aphrodite devotee or benefit from reaching out to her :)

︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・

[whinlatter]

sorry if you've discussed this before, but do you think ginny's quidditch talent came out of nowhere? it's a common criticism I see about her but I feel like that kind of overstates how much of a quidditch "star" she was at the beginning, like she was consistently described as good but not great until partway into hbp and I also think it makes sense she'd keep it a secret from her teasing brothers. but maybe they're right and I'm just biased towards defending ginny

thank you for the question, anon!

the short answer is - no, i think it's (just about) plausibly rendered in the books. i think the series gets away with it because:

the story is told from the perspective of a teenage boy aka peak obliviousness in corporeal form, so we see what harry sees (and harry notices big fat nothing)

there is an entirely adequate narrative explanation for ginny's sporting skills that most readers not operating in bad faith* can put together, as you suggest: ginny comes from a sporty family who are all good at quidditch; she is of middling-to-good seeking ability when she first joins the team in ootp; she then has a good few months flying several times a week where she would necessarily grow in confidence and experience, leaving her perfectly able to blossom in hbp in a high school sport where she is competing against other children. fine and dandy in my book.

also quidditch is a broadly dumb and pointless plot so ginny being good at it is just a fun extra that we don't need to deep too much because - let's be real - quidditch is a waste of page space.

*i say this because, most of the time, these takes come from those who don't like hinny as a pairing. which is entirely their right and prerogative! it personally doesn't float my boat to spend my days doing worst faith readings of the text in order to make the case against canon ships i don't like, but as this is a race to the bottom - we are all adults dissecting children's books written by a nasty spiteful woman rotting in her mouldy castle spouting slurs, after all - who am i to judge.

(i also suspect the 'ginny is good at quidditch out of nowhere' takes have enjoyed such a long shelf-life on eg. reddit because the films are still most people's primary reference for HP takes so complaints about them then get cast back on the books - and, in the films, ginny does in fact rock up in film 6 like she's mbappé, if mbappé had the charisma of an extraordinarily soggy bath mat.)

with that said... could it have done with a bit more foreshadowing? yes, probably. people who don't like hinny as a pairing and prefer another are never going to be convinced - that's fine! but here i am, a paid-up hinny supporter, and even i think ginny's character development is sometimes wanting, to a frustrating and problematic extent. good writing (usually) means showing not telling, and it's weird and lazy of jkr to be so slapdash about revealing this and other character details about ginny and other (often female) characters. i think it's particularly striking that jkr underserves characters (again, usually women) who exist to serve the emotional development of characters (usually men), rather than the mystery plot(s) that drive hp as a series. (wanted! tonks' personality! last seen making fake pig noses and being the only auror mad eye moody mentored as his successor, for no plot reason!)

while i'm not a die-hard adherent to the chekhov's gun principle, i think one of the strengths of many novels du jour - especially the nothing really happens postmodern novel that crowds the bookshop shelves these days - is that their conventions allow authors to add colour to characters without each tiny detail being pregnant with meaning and in service of a driving plot that must be marched forward at all times. that can be really nice! as readers, we like to get a sense of characters as well-rounded living breathing people who go for a wee and take the bins out and stick on an album because it slaps every now and then; in these novels, we're also happier with the idea that things can happen to characters beyond the protagonist that don't directly impact the plot or demand the protagonist knows more than their own very limited vantage point. you have more room to play with character as a result.

jkr, ofc, isn't that kind of author. jkr is in fact an author for whom everything about her characters serves the plot. this, after all, is the brain that brought you 'remus lupin' the werewolf, and named the bad-guy-turned-good-guy in a book using a big black dog as a red herring omen of death 'sirius black'. jkr wants her audience to notice clues and remember little details about characters because they might be significant later on. this is entirely her wont and - lupin and sirius aside - she's often very good at it. the hp books are all standalone mysteries, and, when they land, those mysteries slap. ginny being the culprit in CoS is a genuinely satisfying resolution to the whodunit plot: this was reflected in critical reception at the time and was part of the reason why hp was able to be marketed as a children's book adults would also enjoy thereafter. there are also very satisfying foreshadowing and mystery plots that straddle the entire series and that reward the reader with reasonably good pay-off at the series end. (my favourite is the foreshadow within the foreshadow - e.g. regulus black barrelling back from ootp in DH, but then regulus' plot turning out to ultimately exist to foreshadow snape's own double agent status... delicious).

for my part, it's also what i want out of the fiction i read and the stories i try to write. i want everything to mean something. i want the weather, clothing, setting, body language etc to all do heavy lifting. i want character work to do work. it makes it fun for me to write and (i hope) it can it a bit more fun for the reader.

the problem is that while jkr is good setting up some mysteries, she is bad at others, and the romantic plot is one she falls down (a bit) on. she sets herself up for this: she wants to be a plot-centred mystery writer, so she does have an obligation to do better in how she deploys character details. jkr does to try to write the harry/ginny romance like a mystery, with little hints throughout the series up to the reveal of harry's feelings for ginny in HBP. (even ginny's full name is nominative determinism, finally revealed in DH once the reader has been told her place in the plot - ginevra, so guinnevre, the hero's queen). and while i will never not tire of pointing out to all of reddit that harry/ginny didn't come out of nowhere, and there is some satisfying foreshadowing knocking about here and there, i think it's fair to say that the harry/ginny build-up is not as satisfying as it could have been because jkr is basically lazier about the clues that ginny is the character harry will ultimately fall for, while she is much better at dropping clues for the series' central plot. that ginny ends the series with no real resolution of the primary tensions that motivate her other than her love of harry is probably the most acute example of this. but there's lots about her character where jkr phones it in a bit in fleshing her out or taking it to any logical conclusions or interesting plot directions. a smattering of examples:

ginny is the character who spends the entire series demanding to be included and not underestimated ends the series... with no real major role in the battle other than causing harry panic, while all other central characters receive a satisfying narrative arc that speaks to their central motivators across the series as a whole. (for an interesting discussion of what should have happened with ginny and the horcruxes, see here. i didn't even pay @saintsenara to write this!)

there are lots of shades of colour to ginny's character that are introduced pointlessly. i have previously talked about my beef with arnold the pygmy puff. we know ginny is popular but we know nothing of her friends who are all faceless plotless nobodies. we know ginny supports the all-womens quidditch team in a way that implies a nascent feminist politics after a childhood being excluded from playing a sport she loves by her brothers - yet we know nothing of it. we know ginny loves the one wizarding band that seems to exist because she has a poster of them on her wall and it just.... is something we just get told about her. now, all of these suggest ginny is a good time gal and a right laugh at the pub. and that's nice! i too am fun at the pub! but why does it matter? it wouldn't, in another series. but in a series where Everything Matters, it really stands out.

now..... i don't think all of this is an unsolveable problem for those of us writing fanfiction about ginny or harry and ginny as a couple. i don't think this makes ginny an inherently bad character. i hope the amount of life i have wasted thinking about this character is testament to this (...) and i personally find trying to cook up some fleshed-out characterisation and a satisfying arc for ginny, and for female characters more generally, from the crumbs of the original source material to be a very rewarding way to pass the time and a fuck you to a woman who thinks she can gatekeep womanhood while writing some astonishingly antifeminist fiction. i think harry and ginny are a deeply compelling and eminently plausible couple, and i think i return to writing about them as much as i do because i think they have a ton of potential as narrative mirrors and as characters with a rich well of tension but also devotion between them. as i say a lot, i think one of the things the harry/ginny pairing does refreshingly well compared to other romantic lead couples in YA fiction is show a couple that, at heart, genuinely get on very well, have a laugh together and enjoy each other's company in completely mundane lovely day-to-day ways (laundry and taxes u know). i think that's a striking and refreshing dynamic that i like to spend time fleshing out and playing with and writing about. but i can also see that there is an inconsistency in jkr's character work here, particularly her character work writing female characters, of which ginny is among the most acute examples.

[balkanradfem]

How not to over-water your plants

So, firstly, if you're new to plants, you might be wondering, well what is so bad about over watering? After all, they're plants aren't they? Don't they need water to survive? The more the merrier? And to you I say, good point, here's why it can work with plants outside, but not plants in little pots inside.

Have you ever left a piece of organic matter in the water? Like, a leaf, or even a flower in a flower vase. If you left it in for a week, it develops a bad smell, and the leaves, stems and roots will start to degrade, ferment, and rot in the water. That's exactly what's happening to the roots of your houseplants if they're left in an overly-wet soil; they don't have any access to oxygen, and they rot. Outside, the soil is constantly draining the water further down, the earth is capable of absorbing a lot of water while leaving the topsoil pleasantly damp, but not liquid with water. So you need to make sure your soil is never so wet that it rots your plants roots; if it comes to that, your plant will start turning brown or black, become squishy and spongy, and eventually rot completely.

So how do you avoid it? You'll often hear advice about 'having good drainage', which means your pot needs to have little holes for the water to come out, and the soil shouldn't be so dense and clayish that it would stop water from draining through. However, even if you have perfect drainage, you can still pour in so much water that the little tray under the pot is filled with water – thus the plants sit in water again, rotting. It's difficult to see whether the soil is saturated with water too, sometimes the top of the soil can seem completely dry and you don't see if it's all the way dry or not, it can be misleading. You also can't just stick to a watering schedule because the soil dries out at different speed, based on humidity, heating, temperature, season, exposure to sunlight, it will be different every time. So how can you get around this problem?

The solution I found works perfectly is: lift the pot. As soon as you feel the weight of the pot in your hands, you'll be able to tell whether that thing is heavy as if it's filled with water, or if it's so light that there's barely any water in it. If your pot is super heavy and feels like you just lifted a bucket of water, leave it be, do not water it for a week, until it becomes a normal weight (it should feel like one third of it is water). If your pot is so light, that it feels like nothing is in it at all, then you need to water enough to fill that entire tray underneath, and then let the soil absorb the water for a while. If the soil is super dry, it becomes hydrophobic, and it will take time for it to start absorbing water again; but don't worry, if you leave it sitting in water overnight, it should be fine again, and the plants won't start to rot after just one day of sitting water. A normal watering should be just one third of the container of the plant, that should saturate the soil so it's damp, but not dripping with water.

A further step you can take to make sure your plants are happy with the amount of water, is to research the plants themselves, and how they like to be watered. Most plants will do well on having their soil pleasantly damp, but some houseplants like to have their soil dry out completely before they get a good amount of water again; for instance, lemon trees like that feeling of being dried completely, and then being watered generously, because they're used to growing in tropical areas, and going through droughts and rainfall. Some plants are capable of taking moisture from the air, but they still love having a good amount of water in the pot. Nothing will give you better insight than researching every plant separately.

So what about succulents? You may have been told that you can ignore succulents and they'll be fine, however I found this not to be true, after my poor neglected succulent died due to non watering. You can't even use the trick of lifting the pot, if you're having succulents and aloe vera, because those plants keep water inside of their bodies, so if you lift the pot, it might be heavy, not because it's filled with water, but because the plants themselves are heavier, keeping water inside of themselves. They absolutely need water too, there's just a difference in how long they can do without it. But we're not trying to give those plants endurance tests, we're trying to make sure they're happy and thriving. So how to know when to water your succulents or aloe vera?

The solution is: you try to see if they're squishy. A succulent happily filled with water, will be firm and sturdy to touch. If your succulent is starting to dry, and is now spending the water they have in their inside store, they'll become squishy! If you lightly press with your fingers on the leaf, or the stem of a succulent, and it gives way and squishes, that means the plant needs more water in order to be happy. The squishiness starts closer to the base and the stem of the plant, so if you can check the widest, most base leafs, you'll get the best idea of whether they need water or not. Also, if you see any leaves on them that are dried, brown, dying away, you can pull these off! Your plants are only burdened by keeping dead plant matter on, if you pull those off the plant will immediately look healthier, have less to worry about, and be ready to grow new healthy leaves.

Any big plant can generally survive longer without water than a smaller plant, simply because they are able to store water inside of themselves, so they have some reserve. You always have to keep a closer eye on your tiniest little plants, and your giant plants will need your attention less frequently. Another tip is to have your plants somewhere you see them every day, because if your plant is somewhere you have to specifically go to see it and water it, it is likely you'll forget about its existence until it's too late. Even writing this I remembered I had some plants on a window that I don't usually use, and I've forgot to water them for two weeks. Oops. (they're fine I watered them now).

I hope these tricks help you have confidence in caring for your plants! It took me a while to figure it out, so I'm happy to share my knowledge. If you know more tricks please write them on this post so that I may become smarter too.

[midnightsmusings]

New chapter ! You thought I forgot about her huh? Na just absorbed in writing new drafts instead of finishing the ones I have you know that age old tale.

Ghost has a bad day and bakes about it until Johnny gets home to comfort him.

-Chapter 5, Baking and bad days

CW: Simon's chronic issues talked about (nerve damage in arm) and slight suggestiveness

The house was quiet save for the low documentary Simon put on as soon as Johnny left to fill the absence of the man's chattering.

He decided to make a trip into town for food and furniture himself, something Simon gladly didn't argue about for once.

Simon had woke, his bad arm feeling rigid and tingling with numbness. He was in an especially bad mood today.

The night was another endless stream of vivid dreams. Something alive squirming over his body. The feel of dirt clinging under his nails. The scent of rot. It all clung to him, even after the boiling hot shower he took to try and wash it all away.

If Johnny noticed the slight tremble to his working hand that was clutched around his tea mug this morning, he didn't mention it.

The thing about retirement was Simon couldn't go to the range and work all this out anger on training targets, creating a new best record for the whole base.

He had to find new outlets Johnny often reminded him. As if staying in the shooting range for 5 hours wasn't a perfectly fine outlet.

So Simon's large frame stood, hunched over in the kitchen as he read over the directions on the sourdough start he got at that farmers market.

He was thankful Johnny left, the extrovert sure to get distracted and stay out all day. Simon needed today to himself.

While he loved Johnny dearly sometimes it was all too much, needed his solitude on days when he wasn't feeling too fond of the world. Didn't like his bright partner seeing that side of him.

He grumbled as he tried to scoop out a cup of flower, his scarred hand having a hard time gripping the handle of the cup, shaking and spilling it out over the counter.

He stared down at the mess, irritation spiking already. True to his stubborn nature though, he tried again. He'd be damned if he let a little hobby like baking get the best of him.

Slowly the glass filled with the correct amount of flour, far more falling on the counter than in the jar but it was a start. He had all day to figure this out and nobody around to scrutinize him. He could take as long and make as much a mess as he wanted. At least that's what he tried to tell himself.

The documentary drones on in the background as Simon starts the same painstaking process, this time with water.

It was far messier and the more water that splashed over the counter and onto his boots, the more he wanted to forget this idea of finding new hobbies. This was supposed to relax him right? Not make him feel worse.

There was a pressure in his chest, an uncomfortable feeling at knowing he wasn't getting the measurements exact. At how sloppy he was being. Sure, he had the freedom to be lax now but that didn't mean he was comfortable with it.

His life was ridged, strict routines and always precise actions. This was new. All of this was frustratingly new. That was something he didn't want to think about. How all this domestic stuff felt new to him.

He begrudgingly grabbed his phone, awkwardly punching in the buttons to Johnny's number with his left hand.

He seriously debated hanging up with each ring but quickly his partner's loud, cheery voice was audible through the speaker and immediately Simon's shoulders unclenched.

"Hey mo chirdle miss me olready?"

Simon sighed and stared down at the mess of a counter.

"No" he said roughly, but it was tinged with fondness, hidden under the irritation of the day.

He quickly searched for a valid reason to call him suddenly, he sure wasn't about to admit he was freaking out over making a mess while baking and needed to hear the Scott's voice. Johnny would never shut up after that.

"Need flour" he grunted, eyes taking in their half their stock of flour scattered around, clumps of it meshing with the water he spilled. His head aches at the mess, it would be a real pain to clean up.

"Not that bloody off brand shite either Johnny" he adds, the instructions on his kit said not to skimp on the quality.

Simon waited for the questions to come spewing, his uneven nail picking absentmindedly at dried water-flour paste splattered on his jeans.

The questions never came, instead what came was a low tone that had him swallowing thickly.

"Course only the best Simon."

He let out a heavy sigh, of course Johnny saw right through him this morning. Expected nothing less from his observant Sergeant.

The want to be alone today, keep this side of him away from his partner was suddenly the last thing Simon wanted to do.

Why not soak up the comfort the man was offering? Why not let his voice distract him from the reminder of gritty earth covering him. Simon couldn't remember all the reasons he told himself not to.

"Suck up. Now how much more you got left on the list to get?" He asked instead of what he wanted to ask, wanted to demand, which was for him to come home. Fill the house with sounds and warmth to cut away this detached, irritated feeling Simon was stuck in.

He knew he'd probably be sick if Johnny came home and saw the kitchen, and him, such a mess so he kept his mouth shut and settled for his voice.

"Aye! Lots of foods, and soft sheets for ye too" his voice came out louder now, accent curling thicker around the words as he rambled excitedly. Simon set the phone on the one clean spot on the counter, turning the volume as loud as it will go.

He went back to working on the sourdough as Johnny's voice continued telling him in detail about the different types of bedside tables. Simon grunted here and there but mostly focused on figuring out this sourdough. His hands far steadier now.

By the time Simon had finished the start, the jar sitting full in the middle of the clean counter, Johnny came home.

Simon felt bile rise up in his throat, even though he knew the place was spotless he still worried. The kitchen was wiped and sanitized meticulously but he still felt it wasn't enough.

It always hung around him, the need for cleanliness. Espically on days like this when he couldn't scrub the feel of dirt off his skin.

"Busy were ye?" Johnny smiles, arms bulging as he carried in a handful of bags, setting them on the counter and taking a glance around.

He knew Simon, knew there was more hidden under the sparkling clean kitchen. He picked up the still warm jar of dough with a hum.

Simon just grunts, sharp eyes watching him closely as he stalked over, hands tugging on his clothes, grasping warm skin and pressing in to feel the thrum of his pulse.

"Oven's preheaten" he rumbled as an answer, frame hunched so he could press his masked face into Johnny's neck.

"Good we have time then" Johnny, to his credit, wasn't phased by his partners pawing and simply turned to face the mountain of a man plastered to him.

"For what?" Simon grunted confused, his hands pausing in their trailing under the man's shirt seeking out his heartbeat.

"A shower ya numpty" Johnny smiled easily in response. The skull print mask was familiar, the way it stared blankly down at him, but sent a pang through his chest at seeing it again. At Simon feeling the need to wear it again.

They both had days like this, where they relied a little more on the other to bring them out of their heads. Johnny relished in being able to help, tugging Simon down the hall towards the shower.

He always found it funny everyone thought Ghost despised touch when it was actually the exact opposite. Simon, the man, couldn't get enough of it. He was starved for the feel of warmth and skin.

Simon didn't offer any complaints despite having just taken a shower after cleaning up the kitchen. He'd gladly allow Johnny to try and scrub clean the feeling he'd been unable to get off himself. Simon knew he would easily replace the feel of cold clingy dirt with rough callouses and flushed skin.

"Off with ye mask not lookin to waterboard my man" Johnny said teasingly once he turned on the shower, the water quickly turning hot and steaming as he shifted his bar soap out of the way in favor of setting Simon's preferred unscented bottles for sensitive skin in front.

"Don't be daft" Simon grunted a hint of a smile twitching on his lips as he tugged his shirt off first. He fumbled a little as his hand refused to curl into a fist and hold the anything properly.

He pulled off his sweatpants and socks before he looked up, only tugging off the mask once he saw the clear want and adoration on Johnny's face.

Something in him soothed by the knowledge he still wanted him, even as he had to help guide the mask off his since his tingling hand didn't quite grasp the fabric right.

"Bonnie lad" Johnny murmured as he clumsily stripped off his own clothes, fumbling as he didn't want to take his eyes off the frowning and scarred face.

As soon as Simon stepped into the shower, ignoring the Scot's mumbled praises as he trailed behind him, his tense muscles unclenched and a heavy sigh left him.

He stood right in the warm spray, not registering the hands following the streams of water flowing off of him as he relished that finally, finally that dirt feel clinging to him was fading.

"How's yer arm?" The soft question came barely audible over the water roaring in Simon's ears, and he just shrugged in response having no capacity for conversation at the moment. Especially about that.

He heard a hum and blinked against the water to look down, seeing Johnny's hands squeezing along his bicep. Up from his shoulder and down as the pale skin turned to dark ink and Simon felt none of it but sharp tingles where warm skin should be.

His jaw clenched and he squeezed his eyes shut, shoving his face back under the warm water.

"I keen yer crabbit because ye dinnae do tha' exercises" Johnny mutters, words thick with his accent and worry as he presses into the inked muscles more with a frown.

Simon glanced down at him again, brows furrowed as he worked through the heavy words in his mind slowly. He didn't need the full English version to understand what his partner was going on about.

"Just used it too much today" Simon finally grumbled out, his other hand coming to cup Johnny's jaw and tug his frowning face up towards him.

Johnny sighed as a rough thumb pressed into his forehead, smoothing out his pinched brows and his eyes rolled when the thumb trailed down to rub over his bottom lip. The touch had his lips quirking up from the frown despite his efforts to stay stern.

He nipped at the thumb as he stared up at Simon, eyes taking in the man's face and relenting once he didn't see any pain there as he rubbed the arm, just tiredness.

"The bakin?" He asked, knowing the distraction of baking was necessary for the man. He was pleased Simon was exploring new outlets but wished it didn't come at this cost.

Simon just grunted again, eyes narrowing at the nip and pressed his thumb harder into the plush bottom lip as he responded "be bloody worth it once you taste the bread."

Johnny quickly slid the thumb into his mouth, teeth digging into the rough skin as he smiled around it "aye sure yer a real Gordon Ramsey" he teased. His hands rose to start running through Simon's blond hair, spreading the foaming shampoo through the strands.

Simon huffed out a chuckle, shoving his way closer to the man despite them already being pressed flush together. His eyes got heavy as fingers massaged into his scalp. The nip of teeth gently biting at his thumb as he pressed it down into Johnny's tongue had his mind clearing, focusing just on the sensations.

"'M not as rude as that bloke Johnny" Simon grumbled out, eyes tracing the way Johnny's lips stretched out around his thumb again with a smile.

"I keen you're not Si" he responded softly, truthfully. Johnny knew he was truly a softie under all that grumbling. Loved to be the one to bring it out of him.

Simon's other hand clenched tight at the soft admittance, how his lips now pressed kisses into the indents left behind by his teeth.

"Like a teething pup" Simon muttered affectionately as his tired eyes tracked each sharp prick of teeth pressed into his skin. Johnny's lips moved down his hand, bites pressed into his wrist as shampoo was gently washed out of his hair. A balance of both rough desperation and slow reverence that only a man like Johnny could achieve.

"Yer pup" Johnny smiled against his palm as he dragged his tongue along each dip and line over the pale skin. His eyes soft and fingers slowly running through Simon's now clean hair.

Simon's nose wrinkled at the odd tickle sensation on his palm and simply wiped the man's spit off on his cheek with a short laugh.

"Mmhm, bloody slobbery pup" he huffed before slinging his heavy, still tingling arm over Johnny's shoulders and dragging him even closer. Simon ignored the man's muffled complaints about the cold tile as he pressed him up against it.

"Keep goin'" Simon rumbled, his crooked nose nudging in close to Johnny's skin as he inhaled.

Calloused and warm hands kept running down his torso, bumping over scars and digging into clenched muscles. Slowly and carefully they rubbed away the feel of heavy soil that's been clinging to him, yet not actually there.

Simon's hand came up and settled around Johnny's throat, a loose and simple hold that the man leaned into with a hum. The silence settled around them easily as Johnny reached around Simon's broad shoulders for more soap.

He never minded going over Simon's body multiple times with the soap. Knew before he came around Simon would spend too long in the shower scrubbing his skin raw by himself.

He continued lathering the body wash wherever he could reach, his worry lessening with each low and pleased rumble that vibrated through Simon's chest.

Eventually Simon was loose limbed and lax against Johnny. Without a word Simon pressed his thumb in gently to the side of Johnny's neck to feel his thrumming pulse. To soak in the warmth against him. Alive, and home.

[heygerald]

Hiii!!! I’m so happy that your enjoying your vacation! Can we see how Tom react when Parker feels so much stress to the point she just breaks down ?

I love being challenged by Tom's POV from you guys! Because... let's face it, the brother struggles when it comes to other people's emotions.

Parker is a busy, boss lady that makes a lot of sacrifices for her bookstore. When they first meet, he has a glimpse into the life of "unsuccessful, struggling" Park, and it's so surprising to him to see someone not excelling at what they do + the work they put into trying to make things work. She's always tired, always penny pinching, and it's not something he can connect with easily. But the more popular her store gets, the more wound-up she gets. Sure, she's got the success, extra income, and more employees; but with every new customer she gets she also worries that one day business will just drop back to what it used to be, leaving her a mess of stress.

Most days are good days, some days are sucky days, and on the rare occasion, there are awful days. On these days, Parker goes nonverbal, snuggled on the couch, trying to turn her brain off but also not being able to stop worrying. It takes Tom a couple tries to figure it out; she doesn't want to be coddled, but she also doesn't not want to be taken care of.

So, when Parker shuts down, Tom does three things. First, food. She definitely hasn't been eating anything nutritional when she's stressed like this, so he takes the time to cook a nice, big meal for her. Second, shitty tv. It's her secret pleasure, but Parker loves to rot while watching RHONY or Love Island. Better yet when she has someone to cuddle with while doing that. Third, he just holds her. Snuggles on the couch, tells her how his day was and whatever other mundane stories he has to share, and just lets her lean on him.

Sometimes, he'll invite Colt over. But selfishly Tom likes to be the person to hold her together, and selfishly Parker likes to be alone with him.

It's not always a perfect system, but it works. Sometimes, she just needs to not think, and that's perfectly fine by him.

[snuggleboots]

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ Requests are OPEN ♡ CLOSED

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ About

♡ Call me Boots.

♡ 26 years old

♡ I am completely fucking feral for my fictional babygirls.

♡ I go hard in the tags because I'm generally an easily-excited shithead. Shutting up viscerally pains me. : )

♡ Love meeting new people and making new friends! I am just! Bad at talking!

♡ I love AUs. Feed me your favourite AUs. Please.

♡ I write from time to time and take requests.

♡ Been on Tumblr 11 years, suffered from Naruto brain rot for 17 years.

♡ Masterlist

credits to @cafekitsune for divider and banner. Thank you! ♡

credits to @itgirlicons for header and icon. Thank you! ♡

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ BYF

♡ No minors. No exceptions. DNI.

♡ No bigotry, no racism/homophobia/xenophobia/transphobia/etc. I use the block function liberally.

♡ I don't engage in Fandom drama.

♡ This blog is 80% queue. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get to messages or asks. Days are short and I got kids so I'm kinda busy.

♡ Mass likes or reblogs are perfectly fine.

♡ Messages, asks, tag games, etc are always welcome. : )

♡ I tag all my posts accordingly for triggers or NSFT/W. If I need to add tags or miss one, just let me know and I'll fix it quick.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ The stuff I like

♡ Naruto ♡ Demon Slayer ♡ JJK ♡ Gangsta. ♡ CSM ♡

♡ Resident Evil ♡ R6S ♡ COD ♡ Outlast ♡ Fallout ♡

♡ Star Wars ♡ TLOU ♡ WWDITS ♡

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ Rules for requests

♡ I take requests for Naruto on this blog! I have an alt for R6S/COD, if anyone wants it, I'll link it!

♡ I do not write noncon, self-harm, incest, suicide, minors.

♡ Unless requested otherwise, the Reader-character written as GN.

♡ I may turn down a request that doesn't abide my rules. It may take me some time to get to the request 'cause I'm a mum and I'm busy.

♡ Please do not send requests via messenger. I love to chat and make friends! But requests really easily get lost there for me!

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ Characters I write

♡ Kakuzu ♡ Hidan ♡ Kisame ♡ Itachi ♡ Konan ♡ Tobi ♡ Zetsu ♡

♡ Might Guy ♡ Kakashi Hatake ♡ Izumo ♡ Kotetsu ♡ Rock Lee ♡ Ibiki Morino ♡ Anko Mitarashi ♡

♡ Zabuza Momochi ♡ Kushimaru Kuriarare ♡

[starter-library]

GOOD MORNING BEDLAM'S LULU LYRIC STARTERS

EDIT AS YOU SEE FIT

I Am Sad

“Dance it off and let them see only ever part of me”

“You're far too quick to let me in”

“I feel your fear it hurts my chest”

“I too am fighting loneliness”

“I'm sad to say that I am sad”

“I'm sad to say it, but I've done the best that I can. Just had to say,My best is sad”

“I've done it in forty four states”

“Steal your words and bite my tongue cus every story's now been sung”

Blue House

“When I woke the sun was new”

“Even ink that marked our height will be repainted out of sight”

“It all must go under the knife every dent from making life”

“The fall of Rome was bound to be. Not to endure eternally”

“Now it's time to leave what we know, chase the new and let love grow”

“It's more than bricks that make a home”

“She'll learn to love and all it's ache and how to mend after it breaks”

Hold Me

“Well I've been sitting around since a quarter to three”

“Ain't found a god for whom I'd fall to my knees, But I haven't had a half bad time”

“I won't win an award for what's inside of my brain, Just found out New Jersey was a U.S. state”

“I've got you on my arm as we walk in the rain, So I guess you'd say I'm in my prime”

“Baby tell me once more that you're mine”

“May be losing all my sanity to the hunger of humanity if you're losing it right next to me I swear I'll be just fine”

“My mouth will run itself right into first place so I guess that I'm doing ok”

“You love me still can't seem to change that a bit, wouldn't have it any other way”

“Once broke my nose just from falling down”

“My talking voice is as loud as my shout”

“I'm trying to keep it together as I'm falling apart”

“I find you to be a work of art, Need no one else to share my days”

“I am standing here just watching all the people going round. Seems no one else is doing better at figuring this out”

“We're all stumbling around and picking ourselves up but I went tripping into madness and falling into love”

Haint Blue

“I sing your praises to the waning moon”

“I'm haunted and so are you although we smothered all our ceilings in that bright haint blue”

“It's only in my dreams where he lets be, you see I'm waking up to find that the ghost is me”

“Time won't let us be”

“We're on borrowed time since you set me free”

“I'm haunted and so are you”

I’m haunted, can’t you see him too?”

The Haunting

“We keep repeating the same words in heightened speech, with cutting verbs”

“If i don’t hear, your words won’t hurt”

“Never put up any fight except when it’s in my own mind”

“Like a smothered storm my thoughts they go unknown: Patch the boat, mind the water, make it home”

“I’m so scared i’m the one that is to blame”

“But lies will rot the heart and thoughts and never shield me like I think”

“Someday we’ll learn to shut our mouths”

“Over and over and over it goes with the wine playing tricks and the room spinning slow”

“And I’m trying to focus and show you I notice your eyes perfectly match the dress that you’ve chosen”

“And if you’re saying that you love me--say it slow. And I’ll need you to show me”

Enough

“And I hear it And I see it And I breathe it. It echos, echos, Round it resounds without end”

“Sometimes I don't know if I am loved”

“Sometimes I don't know if I'm enough”

“Not even God could love someone like you”

“I've been trying to retrace my tracks, Hoping to find my way back; When the only running was tag, when you know being it won't last”

Blessed Boy

“I have no one to care for, no one to need and only when running am I ever free”

“I'll fly to the moon and I'll never return, There I can rest as I watch the world turn”

“Blessed boy I've heard your voice and I know they've done you wrong”

“In between your fitful dreams will you learn you do belong”

“It takes more than moonlight to cause you to bloom, come to the garden there's plenty of room”

You are Gonna Miss Me

“Always had this feeling that your hearts not really mine and that some perfect lover was always on your mind”

“You are gonna miss me you will miss my face someday”

“Oh my darling boy i was looking up to you- Well not physically except when you put lifts inside your shoes”

“Boy you did me wrong how could you let me fall- couldn't catch me with hands that were that small”

“You want to make all my decisions but i don't want the same”

“Honey this is my show here i always drink for free”

Salt

“But tide will rise and reclaim her command”

“Mother I'm scared your waters are much too high for me”

“Your changeable ways throw me for days as if lost on the sea”

“The water's calm but still I cannot rest while storms are ever raging in my chest”

“From her I was made with love and care but by her hand I'm scattered everywhere”

“Leaning back the water holds my weight now it will be my turn to create”

Lulu

“I see no way will I hold her like the cinema told me to try”

“When I look at you I see no chance of pushing through and I must be the one to say goodnight”

“Some wishes made are wises left behind”

“She kissed me so sweetly and she promised me nothing but sweetness to last”

[kedreeva]

Indoor Cats: Grass Loungers

Grass loungers for the Cat Enrichment Masterpost

A grass lounger, or grass pad/bed, is a large bin or container used to grow real grass (typically a cat-safe wheat grass) for an indoor cat to lounge upon as a form of enrichment. A safe way to bring a little bit of the outdoors indoors for them.

Loungers are typically made from cement mixing bins (also called utility tubs, mud pans, or even gardening bins) as can be found at any large hardware store like Home Depot or Lowe’s or Menards in the US. The bins themselves range from around $12-30 depending on the thickness, quality, and size, and tend to be around 24x36″ as a standard, and generally are about 8″ tall. There are MANY guides online for how to build them, but it’s basically about what you’d expect; get the bin, fill it with dirt, add grass seed, and water until it grows (wheat grass is VERY fast growing, generally sprouting in only 5-7 days compared to normal seed which can take weeks). The hardest part is keeping the cat out of it until the last bit!

Cement mixing bins are sturdy bins that won’t crack or dry rot as easily as a normal plastic bin like Rubbermaid or similar brands BUT that does not mean that they’re the ONLY thing you could use! Plastic bins absolutely will work just fine if that’s what you have or have access to. You can always check thrift stores and garage sales for bins that would work and be very cheap. As long as it doesn’t have sharp edges or bad chemicals, will contain dirt, and stand up to the pressure of the cat laying in it, it will do!

Wooden or false wood planters are also a good alternative, you just have to line them with something or be more careful about the amount of water you put in!

You can also build your own if you have wood available to you and you’re a bit handy! Here’s a little guide to the box as shown below, which uses fake or real grass. You could potentially make a lounger any shape you wanted in this case, as big or small as needed. I’ve even seen people combine them with cat shelving, which I will talk about in a later enrichment post, by putting a long, thinner lounger up on a wall or as a starting point to a more elaborate climbing area.

In addition to making your own, if you are NOT handy and have the extra $$ for it, there’s actually a company called Fresh Patch that makes loungers ready-made. They have a wooden box (a 1-time purchase of $50 shipped, which comes with the wooden sleeve and a grass pad, in pine or oak and it comes in 1 of 2 sizes) that a cardboard insert full of grass sits in. The cardboard insert is able to be ordered and shipped separately and replaced as needed, and costs around $30 shipped.

One of the last things I want to recommend is getting clean, cat-safe seed. A great place to do that is from The Cat Ladies. They sell a 16oz package of seed, but they also sell smaller grass planters that are made for cats to nom on here and there. While a grass lounger is a great form of enrichment for cats that like a little patch of the outdoors to lay on, sometimes the space required isn’t feasible. In that case, cat grass can still be grown in small spaces as a form of enrichment!

That said, there are a lot of places to get the seeds from, so work within your budget for sure. Chewy is a good place to start, they had several different assortments of seeds. True Leaf Market also had a good, cheap option, marketed toward people growing it for themselves to eat. Thunder Acres had some MUCH larger options available if you wanted to buy in bulk and regrow the grass more often.

You may also be wondering if grass is okay for cats, and whether they should be allowed to eat it and the short answer is yes, it’s perfectly fine for them to eat some of it, especially if the rest of their diet is well balanced and nutritionally sound. While cats are obligate carnivores, the particular grass mostly grown for them to eat (wheat grass) is soft and not as fibrous as most grass when it’s young. It likely won’t provide a cat with any nutritional bonuses (except maybe a bit of vitamin A and D, or other trace elements) but there’s more to life - and eating! - than the bare necessities, and most cats enjoy having a harmless nom of grass now and again.

Previous post: Leashes | Next Post: Climbing Trees

[barbiewritesstuff]

Easy Peasy

-- Trigger warning for depression, mentions of suicide and physical abuse.

Sorry folks, this one is a bummer --

Jake Hangman Seresin. 33, tall, good looking, graduated top of his class at Top Gun. 

Who wouldn't want to be him?

Jake would have rather been anyone else. I mean, life was fine before The Incident. It was okay, even. There was work, then home, then work again. 

A perfectly ordinary life with a little extra spice in the form of the F/A-18E Super Hornet he got to fly on the daily.

And then, The Incident happened. Regular day, regular mission until 1.15 pm when they were attacked. They trained them for this. They trained him to press a button and shoot a thing. You know, Hangman though, no biggie.

Yes biggie. The second the button was pressed and the thing was shot, Hangman realised what he had done. The enemy plane exploded and Hangman realised he had killed someone.

Sure, they weren't on their side, but had it really been deserved?

What if they had had a girlfriend? Or a wife? A family? Kids? Who was going to feed their dog or water the plants? Did they even have anyone home to mourn them at all?

Life had been hell since. 

There were nightly nightmares, daily flashbacks. When he looked in the mirror, he saw nothing but a monster staring back at him. He was paranoid someone would know, like they could smell the rotting stench of murder right off of him.

Then, he'd been called back to Top Gun. He never thought he'd dread it, but the growing pit of panic in his chest showed him that maybe he was. Still, he went through the motions.

He dry cleaned the uniform, shined his shoes, slicked his hair and pinned the medals. He ate cereal for breakfast and washed it away with coffee. 

Easy fucking peasy.

The only reason he was still alive really, is because there would be no one to take care of the cat. Or they wouldn't do it correctly. 

They wouldn't fluff her pillow and send her to bed with a little milk. They wouldn't give her the good cat food that she liked, and they might not even make sure her water was the right temperature.

That cat was keeping him alive. The second it died he would too. It should have been a scary thought since the cat was nearing 16 years old but Jake felt oddly good about it. The end was near and it was comforting.

It almost felt inevitable.

Although sometimes he still caught himself praying for a sign or something to save him. It hadn't come yet and Jake was losing hope.

Maybe God hadn't even listened.

Maybe God didn't care.

Maybe he was all alone on a big spinning rock in space. Maybe there was no one to listen at all.

His ma would have beaten him if she'd known he'd thought that. She'd have beaten him and dragged him bleeding to church to apologise. She wasn't there now though. He hadn't spoken to her in years.

And then, there was the mission. He'd wanted to fly but they'd put him on reserve. He guessed they knew. Cyclone had recommended him to the therapy group he attended, after all. Fucker.

Maverick and Rooster went down and Jake fought to keep the burning jealousy he felt bottled up.

Maybe it was a good thing he couldn't fly. Planes were expensive, no need to damage them unnecessarily. But what a way to go. 

Everyone made it out alive. They laughed, they hugged and drank all night and it didn't make him feel any better. He felt nothing at all. 

God, he really was lost. 

He'd wandered to the edge of the boat. If he wanted, he could trip and fall. He'd had a lot to drink. No one would know.

"Now's a really good time for a signal" Jake prayed.

And, apparently, it was. 

"You need to step back. You could fall"

I sure could, he thought

"You need to step back" She touched his arm and he turned towards her. He knew her. Gone to school with her. "Okay, sorry, didn't realise" 

She smiled.

"Reckless as ever, huh, Jake"

Yeah. Reckless.

"Y/n, right?"

[rogersideup]

Free Love

Nomad Steve Rogers x Avengers Reader

Word count: 4187

Summary: Steve lost everything defending Bucky, so you gave everything up to gain everything you’ve ever wanted- a future with Steve.

Warnings: Mentions of depression, crime, and political opinions. Tooth rotting fluff! My blog is 18+ only! All minors and blogs without an age in bio will be blocked!

AN: My favorite song and my favorite character combined into one, nothing could be better than that. Hope you enjoy!

A phone call.

One single phone call.

That's how you ended up here, laying in lush unkept grass in a field on a hill in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. The mid summer air was so humid that even if you weren't sweating, there was a permanent sheen and layer of moisture on your skin. Hundreds of cicadas buzzed in providence of some not-so-white noise, sometimes the frogs would join in to create a harmonious soundtrack to the jumbled up mess you found yourself in.

You appreciated the way the shine better out here, the lack of big city light pollution did wonders and allowed them to twinkle and flutter to their full potential. Although you just gave up everything in your life, your heart felt fuller. Nothing to your name, nothing to tie you down.

No bills to pay, commitments to attend, house to clean, boss to please, a world that lost the privilege of your protection.

It was just you, Steve, and the sweet frog cicada melody.

All because the tiny, outdated, plastic burner phone you hid in a tampon box in the cabinet of your bathroom rang, and you decided to pick up the call.

But that's just the thing- you always picked up the call.

The sound of the burner phone ringing punctually at midnight every Tuesday going into Wednesday was your second favorite sound in the world. The first being the sweet yet raspy voice that sounded straight to your ear whenever you'd click the tiniest of green answer buttons.

The moment Steve knew that there was no place for him other than a small cell in a high security containment facility, you had always been his first priority.

He told you what was going to happen; he had to run and you had to stay put.

Throughout the civil war you were always on his side, but with a gut feeling and a lump in your throat the two of you always made it look like you weren't. You both knew it would end poorly, but believed in the cause enough to continue fighting strategically. So, you staged arguments, pretended to fight against him on Tony's team that one day in Germany, even took it as far as moping around and crying at the mention of his name. You feigned anger and resentment as what was left of the team tried picking up the broken pieces and settle into the compound after the Avengers had officially split.

You wanted to run with him, but you also knew Steve would never forgive himself if he took everything from you. He feared you'd be unhappy and start to resent him for it- he would never be able to handle a single glimpse of pure regret in your eyes every time you looked at his face.

So instead of running with him, he reassured you that you two would take the time to make a plan for the future. He'd send you a new burner phone every three months, call you at the same time every week for exactly one hour, and calculate an exact equation that would allow the two of you to live your lives together.

That's exactly what he did. Every time he'd call, he would try is absolute hardest to reassure you that he was doing perfectly okay. That he missed you with every fiber of his being, but playing hide and seek in the far corners of the world would be worth it in the end. He was fine.

His well being was true up until a month ago. You noticed during your weekly calls that he was seeking more and more comfort, dragging on for minutes past what would be safe. He didn't care if the government was able to track his calls, he just needed to hear your voice for a few more minutes. You grew increasingly worried about him- even his voice sounded tired.

You knew something was wrong the whole week leading up to this. You felt it scrape your bones and pain your joints as if a thunderstorm was brewing, so when the phone rang at 11:56 instead of 12 on the dot, your heart sank.

He was having a breakdown, yet still trying to hold it all back. It took hitting the point of explosion to finally confess that he was achingly lonely, exhausted beyond his own means, and missed you so much it physically hurt. He was talking about giving up, mentally he had given up weeks ago.

It took an hour and twenty eight minutes to convince him to let you leave and run with him. It honestly came as a shock when he finally agreed, and you knew that if he was in a better mindset he would've said no.

You, however, were more confident than ever. After almost a full year of thinking it through, you knew as a fact that this is what you needed to do.

The next night you snuck out with nothing but a backpack with some spare clothes, a fake passport and ID, and your most recent burner phone in your pocket knowing you had some stuff where you were headed.

The two of you agreed to meet up at your late Aunt's vacation cabin in the same nowhere you were in the middle of that you had secretly inherited off all records and documentation. When you signed onto the Avengers, you knew it would be important to have a fallback plan and it turned out to be rather useful.

You had turned it into the perfect safe house. Renovated it to be true to its rustic feel but modern and reflective of your personal taste and personality. Hidden money, food and water rations, and a back up power generator.

Steve had been going there from time to time. It was his favorite place to be when he was just too tired to keep trucking along. It became his ultimate place of comfort. Your energy seeped off the walls and into his skin, it tricked his brain into feeling closer to you. Sleeping in a real bed owned by you, bathing in the clean water you made sure he would always have, and staying dry and warm in blankets you've been wrapped up in before.

You arrived a few hours before he did and spent that alone time making your home away from the compound as lively and comfortable as could be.

Freshly washed the sheets and made the bed, filled vases with wildflowers you foraged off the stunning property, and even made sure you got a nice meal for the two of you. It had been awhile since Steve had a meal he could actually enjoy, it was important to you that he got the mental break he really needed.

Fluffing the throw pillows and pacing aimlessly came along with the anxious jitters, the anticipation of seeing your love for the first time in almost a year was killing you slowly.

When you heard the code knock at the door to let you know it was really him and not an intrusion, tears stung your eyes before you even saw him.

But when the door opened to reveal your sweet Steve on the other side, you couldn't help but to break down with him.

He opted to grow a beard, and the blonde hair on his head was long and grown out. The expression on his face combined with his posture told you everything you needed to know about his mental health. He was deep in the gutter.

You weren't really sure why it had shocked you so much. It could've been because you never spoke about appearance on the phone, he never mentioned his change of heart when it came to being clean cut, or maybe you were just in shock because you hadn't seen him in so long. Either way, he looked phenomenal.

No words were exchanged as you held each other in your arms. You both cried for what felt like an eternity- both of you rocking from side to side in order to keep balance on your weak knees before he pulled away to inspect your face.

It was only when you grinned at him did he let out a chuckle and a big smile. You kissed that very same smile, and those tears of grief over lost time turned into tears of joy.

"I don't even have the words" he practically whispered between little sniffles.

"You don't need 'em" She smiled before placing another peck to his soft lips. "I don't think words would really do justice to how I feel right now. I'm so happy to see you."

"Happy tears?" He questioned, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe them from underneath your eyes, while his own fell down his cheeks and onto his shirt.

"Yeah, very happy tears" you confirmed as your hands roamed his back, trying to let your brain catch up to the fact that he really was here with you right now.

"You're even more beautiful than I remember" His hands refused to leave your face. It was almost like he was convinced that if he let go, he wouldn't see you for another year.

"You're hairier than I remember" You joked, still processing his glorious hair and stunning beard.

"That bad, huh?" He sheepishly questioned, eyes hitting the floor.

"God no- you look incredible" You kissed both his cheeks, followed by his nose. "Nomad looks good on ya"

"I'm glad you think so, it keeps people from recognizing me" He explained.

"How are you?" You couldn't even help the hand that made its way up his back and ran through his hair. "And if you tell me you're okay I'm going to call Secretary Ross and turn you in myself"

You were relieved when he laughed and shook his head. "Kind've a hot mess, but just seeing you has already made me feel a million times better."

"I've been so worried about you" you admitted for the first time since getting yourselves into this situation.

"I know" He nodded, pulling you snuggly into his chest and happily keeping you there. "It hasn't been easy on either of us."

"You're okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay, I'm perfectly okay" He reassured you. "Haven't necessarily been fighting any battles recently, that's a huge benefit to keeping a low profile. Are you okay? How'd your travels go?"

"Really turbulent but it didn't even matter. It was still perfect. I don't think you understand how happy I am to be here"

"Are you sure about this?" The question hung heavy on his tongue as his heart ached at the thought of everything you gave up just to be with him.

You pulled away and gripped his shoulders to be able to look into his eyes. "I've never been more sure about anything."

"You haven't necessarily committed any crimes yet, it's not to late to go back." He tested.

A big smile and a giggle snuck past the lips you could barely keep off of his. "I'm pretty sure I'm harboring a fugitive as we speak... traveled with fake identification, and we're in a property I paid to have scrubbed off of maps- miles away from civilization. I think the crime has already been committed"

"How did we even get here? From law defending superheroes to fugitives in the blink of an eye" He let out a deep breath.

"The system is broken, My Love. It's in place to protect the rich and elite while working class citizens and minorities get beaten down further every single day. The law doesn't give two shits about what happened to Bucky or any of those super soldiers who had all fate stacked against them, and it seems like all the service we've put in means nothing to them now. America is in need of serious reform, and I think that their golden boy not backing down for what he believes in is an amazing start." You reassured him.

"You really believe that?" His fingers ran up and down your back taking in the texture of your cotton ribbed tank top. "I've been thinking about it so much that it feels like an exit-less maze. I don't even know what to believe anymore"

"Of course I believe that." The sincerity behind your kind eyes allowed him to believe that maybe he was staying on the right path. "You know I'm stubborn at best, and when I believe in something I'm not going to back down until I get what I want. I've never believed in anyone more than I believe in you, Steve."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you" He kissed your forehead. "I love you so much, Darling"

"I love you a whole bunch" Your thumbs ran over the deep lines between his concerned furrowed eyebrows- pulling the skin gently away from itself. "You can relax now. There's nothing to run from for a little while, alright? We have time for you to settle in and unpack your bag. You know you're safe here?"

"This is where I come to feel safe" He nodded. "Even better now that you're here."

"You'll never have to be alone again"

"I'm going to thank the stars for you everyday"

And that, he did. After dinner and a shower- that's how you ended up under the twinkling stars with your burner phones in the trash, snuggled up in the untamed grass that had gone wild and free in your time away from the safe house.

The blanket underneath your bodies did nothing to keep away the bugs that made your body their  living feast, but you didn't even care about the bites. You had all the time in the world to regret not putting on bug repellant later.

Right now, you were free.

You felt as though your lungs were full of helium, if Steve wasn't cradling you in his strong arms you'd float away and be okay with it as long as he had your string tied around his wrist.

He flicked a small mosquito off your shoulder that you didn't even know was there. The flowing lake on the land really had the mosquitoes out for the two of you. "Tomorrow I can come out here and tame the land." He rested his chin on your shoulder from behind. "Just got you back- can't have the bugs eat you down to nothing. Maybe more of them will go away with short grass they can't hide in."

"Yeah? I can help. Don't really have much else to do." You mumbled in contentment. "How nice is that? Nothing to do tomorrow?"

"Or the day after that" You could hear the grin on his voice.

"And after that?" You questioned.

"We're always going to have nothing to do tomorrow." His laugh sounded like heaven softly whisking into your ear. "You're going to get so tired of me."

"Never" You shook your head. "I like the idea of fixing up the property tomorrow, then finding ways to entertain you every day after that."

"Anything else you need fixed up around here? I wouldn't mind planting myself here for a while"

"We can do anything to it" The tone of your voice was making him feel the excitement of possibility. "I redid the place before I even really knew you. Maybe this time we can fix it up to reflect the both of us. We can have a real future here Steve... do you see it?" You motioned your hands in front of your faces as if you were setting a scene for him.

"Honestly? I haven't thought of a future for myself in a very long time. I'm always just thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow." He admitted.

"Okay, then allow me to paint the picture for you" You sat up a bit, the view of the whole property in your sight. "Imagine, our house way up on this hill."

"I can see it." He chuckled at your antics.

"Can you though? I want you to really see it" You emphasize. "We can have dogs running around our yard, maybe some fruit trees growing in the fields."

"You know I've always wanted a golden retriever" Steve beamed at the thought, allowing himself to envision the life you had created in your head.

"You can finally have one, maybe even two" You shrugged. "The possibilities are endless. We're right next to the water, really it can be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."

"We're going to have to put up some fencing to keep our dogs in." Steve noted.

"See! Now you're dreaming big. White picket fences... or white oak? Surf green" you settled.

"Both of our favorite color" He noted.

"Imagine this is our little place. We can be completely and totally free, there's no one for miles it's just you and me-" You started.

"-and the dogs" Steve corrected.

"And the dogs" you confirmed. "What do you see?"

You saw the wheels turning in his head before a blush raised to his cheeks and his mouth opened and closed a few times before anything actually came out.

"I see a few more animals other than dogs." He stated confidentially. "Some chickens, maybe a cow? You told me it's your dream to have a donkey. I see a whole homestead, like the Barton's but better cause it'll be ours."

"That sounds just like how I see it in my head."

"Some raised garden beds along the south wall of the house, they'll get the best light there. It's soft in the morning so our plants won't wilt. Herbs, vegetables and fruits."

"You're going to have to be in charge of that, you know I don't have a green thumb"

Steve laughed at your statement. "Baby, you killed that cactus we bought at that cute plant store. It takes a lot of talent to kill a cactus, especially one you swore you wouldn't."

"How was I supposed to know you can over water a plant?" You pouted at him.

"You cried about that for a whole 15 minutes. That's when I knew you'd be the sweetest most compassionate person I'd ever meet" Steve placed a kiss on your cheek.

"It was adorable! Any reasonable person would cry over committing murder" You justified your tears.

"And that compassion is exactly why you'd be better at taking care of the animals" He smiled. "You're motherly that way"

"I'm glad you still think I'm motherly after killing a cactus." Really, the thought warmed your heart. "After you left I was feeling a little lonely so I got a pothos plant and I kept it alive for two whole months before it got sunburned. Who knew plants could get too much sun?"

"Wow! That's a new record. I'm proud of you" Steve let his eyes move back up to the hundreds of stars in the sky while leaning back until he was laying down.

"Anything else?" You questioned while laying down too, your head resting on his stomach. "Don't think I missed the way your cheeks blushed."

"Of course you noticed" You could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "You always notice."

"It's a talent of mine. I love seeing you blush, I'd be damned if I missed a single moment."

"I was blushing because in my head I saw something else." His tone changed from confident to coy as he reached down and grabbed your wrist. Lifting your hand up from its resting spot as you spread your fingers apart to look at it. "After dealing with me and all my antics for years I think I owe you a ring. Riiiiiiiiggghhhhtttt here" He used the tip of his index finger to point to the bottom of your ring finger on your left hand.

"Just to be clear, you don't owe me anything." You wiggled your fingers as you imagined a band on your finger, marking you as Steve's sweetheart for the rest of time. "But, I wouldn't be opposed to belonging to you."

You rolled off of him and laid on your stomach next to him. Once again, he found something more beautiful than the stars to gaze at.

"You don't belong to me, you complete me" He corrected. "It might be a while before we can legally get married, but we can play pretend."

"You could propose with a spare nut from the picket fences and I'd still say yes." You clarified.

"How do we feel about kids?" He raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

"Love 'em" You confirmed with a smile that stretched ear to ear.

"We can have some of those running around too" He suggested. "Our free range, organic babies."

"Hopefully we don't get them confused with the chickens" You poked him square in the chest before letting your hand relax and reside on his sternum. "How many? I was thinking two or three."

"Kids or chickens?" He joked, your restful hand playfully smacked him. "Kidding! You know what would be awesome? Twins"

"Oh yeah" You agreed. "A two for one deal. That would do it for me. I can even do an all natural birth right here in our house to help us keep maintain a low profile."

"That sounds great, but really painful." He noted.

"It's a small price to pay for a dream come true, dontcha think?" You questioned rhetorically. "Temporary pain for a lifetime of tiny Steve's running around."

"Oh no, I want them to be like you."

"Like me?! Now you're just setting yourself up for a complicated home dynamic." You warned bashfully.

"How about we settle for a perfect balance of the both of us?" Steve was now looking at you like you were the stars in the sky, and if there was any truth behind his admiration for you, it was that you shined brightly just for him. He was the reason why your eyes twinkled and your soul lit up to brighten all the dark places.

"I'm willing to compromise."

"I wish I could provide a little more than this." He admitted quietly while his hands traced shapes into your lower back. "Maybe one day we'll be pardoned and our kids can grow up in the city. They can go to fine arts schools and tell all their friends that Dad is silly ol' Captain America and Mom is the best Agent the world has ever seen. You can have a big rock on your finger, and our white picket fences won't even be necessary because real estate is dense in Brooklyn."

"That sounds expensive" You noted.

"That's pretty much the life we had going for us before I got everyone into this mess" He challenged. "Maybe one day we can get it back."

"Any life we can create for ourselves sounds like an amazing future" You admitted. "As fun as city life is, I don't need anything fancy and expensive to be happy. The simple things are far more than enough for me- I don't need anything more as long as I have you."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No, of course not" You shook your head before placing a kiss to each of his cheeks. "I know you feel guilty, but all I feel is pride. This will all be worth it. It's not a setback or an inconvenience. This could be one of the best things that's ever happened to us. We get to sleep at night knowing we aren't going to be woken up to world ending level threats, we can relax. For once we finally get to settle down and put ourselves first."

"This is the first time I've ever seen the bright side"

"Besides, you've already given me all I could ever want, and it's completely free"

"What's that?"

"Love" You stated confidentiality.

"Oh baby, I've got lots of love for you. It'll never run out" He kissed your lips.

"That means we already have everything we'll ever need right now. Kids, chickens and Donkeys sound nice but it’ll all happen with time. But for now, let’s stick with the simple things.”

“You forgot the ring and the dogs and cows” He pointed out. “I learned to love the simple things.”

“Our whole fairy tail life starts tomorrow.” You grinned at him. Your teeth were brighter than the stars.

“Tomorrow when we cut the grass” he smiled back.

“Maybe the day after that I can start sourcing wood for our fence” He pondered.

“We can paint it together, we just have to pick a color.”

“We can use the scraps to build the garden beds.” Steve suggested.

“I can forage leaf litter to fill the bottoms, it’ll aerate the soil” You noted.

“Well now it seems like we’re always going to have something to do tomorrow”

“How nice is that?” You beamed. “We’re going to build our dream life with our own hands, one fence post at a time, and all we needed to start was some free love.”

“Oh free love”

[prettyboykatsuki]

♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡

➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 

➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 

♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 

♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 

♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 

♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 

♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 

♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 

♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 

♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  

♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 

♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 

♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 

♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 

♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 

♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 

♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 

♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 

♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 

♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  

♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 

♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 

♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 

♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 

♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 

♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 

♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 

♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 

♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 

♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 

♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 

♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 

♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 

♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 

♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 

♡ always loses his keys 

♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 

♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 

♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 

♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 

♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 

♡ naturally good at doing hair! 

♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 

♡ loves u a lot <3 

[eternalstargazer]

recently got back into tumblr and wanted to say i love your blog!! i found out a few months ago that gou isn't universally liked and i was like??? "why?? he's such a good boi 🥺" and so the satogou & gou-suport on your blog really makes me happy! thank you for your contribution 💛

Aww, thank you so much!! 🥺💖 This pairing and these characters (Gou/Goh in particular) really means a lot to me, so it always makes me happy to write about them and put together themed blog posts, and such. I'm glad that it makes you happy, too! 😊

I don't have an issue with Goh not being universally liked. No one has to like a character and sometimes the character just doesn't click with someone. That's fine. There are Pokémon characters that I myself don't care for, so I get it. That's not what I have a problem with. 

What bothers me is the unfair treatment and the blatant lies about Goh that are just objectively wrong because of evidence in the episodes themselves that renders the arguments invalid. Those lies spread, and people start to believe the lies without coming to their own conclusions. People start to hate Goh based on what they've heard about him and how people talk about him, not based on how he's presented in the anime.

Take episode 59, the episode Goh catches Grookey. Back when the episode aired and to this day, people called Goh a thief, equating him to Team Rocket and Pokémon poachers. This is factually wrong yet that doesn't stop websites like Gamerant from putting forward this flawed argument: "Capturing Grookey for himself even though he belonged to Jessie goes against the moral code of Pokémon training, regardless of the situation."

That's just all kinds of stupid. No, really, it just is. It makes Goh out to be this immoral, selfish character that will stop at nothing to accomplish his goal. So we're just going to argue that a Pokémon is a piece of property that belongs to someone and has to stay with that someone regardless of how that Pokémon feels or how that person treats the Pokémon. Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly moral position to take. And let's just ignore Grookey chose to leave Jessie, despite the evidence in the episode, because acknowledging that would totally detract from the disingenuous point the writer is pushing here and wants readers to believe/share on social media.

I asked this before and I'll ask it again: so if Goh is a thief, Ash is too, right? Remember Charmander? I did a comparison clip a couple months back, and I ask again, what's the difference:

So going by the logic put forth, Charmander should've stayed with Damian too, because we're holding Ash to the same "standard" here, right? No, of course not, and the whole "regardless of the situation" argument is a terrible and dangerous one because it can be used to justify almost any kind of behavior. 

The same article (and something that gets repeated ad nauseam) is that Goh treats his Pokémon as objects that are a part of a collection and that he doesn't care if his Pokémon rot in Cerise Park. Really? So I guess my photoshop skills are better than I give myself credit for since these scenes totally don't exist in any episode of the anime:

Do we really need a scene in every episode that shows Goh feeding, playing with, and just overall caring for his Pokémon? No, because a fair-minded person that isn't trying to push a false narrative would agree that the anime has given us more than enough scenes inside and outside of Cerise Park that show Goh's love for his Pokémon is just as strong as Ash's, or any of Ash's previous companions. This also extends to Pokémon that were wild at the time too. Goh loves all Pokémon, as I show here. 

On a similar note, do we really need a scene in every episode where Goh battles a Pokémon before catching it? There is nothing wrong with Goh's catching style. It's absolutely legitimate. Pokémon GO!, Pokémon Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, and Pokémon: Legends Arceus all allow Pokémon to be captured without battling. It's a game mechanic that is now part of the anime, and to say that Goh doesn't work for or earn his captures when this is now common place in the mainline games and highly popular app isn't fair to his character. I guess anyone that plays one of the aforementioned games and catches a Pokémon without weakening it had it handed to them on a silver platter too, right (never mind the fact that there are factors involved like the timing/angle of the throw)?

Again though, it's a misrepresentation of his character that you'll see get tossed around online that Goh, unlike past female traveling companions, doesn't have to work toward his goal when he has everything handed to him (and gets no character development in the process). People still talk about how a legendary (Suicune) was given to him, another disingenuous take intended to get people to dislike Goh by saying how he was given a legendary ahead of Ash, the much more experienced trainer. I talk about that in detail here but I'll summarize my points:

The reason Goh was able to catch Suicune was because it was already significantly weakened. It had been purifying the polluted lake water repeatedly (on top of roaming the world and purifying other bodies of water), so logically, that in itself weakened it somewhat. Then, it endured multiple attacks by the Pokémon Hunters Pokémon. On top of that, it was poisoned. By game logic, attacking and inflicting a status ailment like poison makes a Pokémon easier to catch. Plus, it had ropes around it, causing it to deplete more of its strength as it struggled to escape, when Goh rescued (yes, rescued) Suicune with a Pokéball. 

Goh later on cares for Suicune's injuries, provides it food, and watches over it while it begins to recover. Suicune then sees Goh (and Ash) take a stand against the very people that hurt it and have been contaminating the lake, plus making the forest and water Pokémon sick. Suicune saw that Goh was willing to put his life on the line as the Houndoom came for him. Suicune could see that Goh didn't only care for it, and the forest Pokémon, but Ash as well as he shoved Ash out of the away to protect him from Houndoom.

Why is it that hard to believe Suicune saw Goh as someone with a pure heart, and as someone that only has good and noble intentions? Suicune could very easily see Goh as a force for good in the world and want him for a partner to help rid the world of people like the Pokémon Hunters. Suicune chose to go with Goh because Goh earned its trust and respect. By no means was Goh just handed it without hardship, without forming a bond with it. I thought that was a part of what Pokémon is supposed to be about. 

Sadly, that's not even all of it. Again, if a person doesn't like Goh, or any other character for that matter, that's fine. When a person engages in character assassination though, that's when they lose all credibility. It's those that hate the character that have been allowed to shape the overall perception of Goh in the eyes of many in the fandom, even those that regularly watch the anime. I think Goh would be a lot more popular if people didn't lie about his character (which they do for various reasons, but I won't go into because those would be assumptions on my part).

And while I may sound like an unapologetic 100% Goh stan, I do in fact have opinions as to how the character could've been handled better up to this point and if anyone wants to hear my thoughts on that subject, feel free to ask.

I'm happy though that my blog can be an escape from all of that for you, and for others. I'll happily continue to post and share content, and I still have hope, still believe, there's at least a decent chance that Goh will remain a part of the anime come November. It would make me truly happy to see this wonderful character be given more time to grow and shine, as well as brighten our lives. 💖

[desireness]

Wants & Needs [Sasha x f!reader] 16+

-cw: au, praising, oral sex, thigh riding, fingering, wlw, slight choking, dom! reader, sub! sasha

sneak peak: You’ve had attraction for your friend Sasha for a very long time. What will happen when she calls, begging you to hangout? Especially when she confesses that she’s been so horny lately..

notes: Been having sasha brain rot recently so here’s this. Sasha is just *chefs kiss*. Enjoy.

You open your eyes to the sound of your ringtone going off on your phone. You search around for your phone on your bedside table without even looking, too tired to bother. You briefly look at your phone’s screen to check who’s calling you.

“Sasha, what the fuck do you want?” you ask annoyed.

“Were you already sleeping? what are you? a fucking grandma?” she snorts.

“yea, i’m hanging up”

“NO WAIT”

Sasha goes on to talk about how she’s sorry for waking you up and babbles about other irrelevant things. She could be so annoying sometimes but you love that about her.

“Okay, why did you actually call?” you ask rubbing the tiredness away from your eyes.

“i’m bored... and hungry. Please bring food and come hangout with me” she whines over the phone.

You hesitate at first, wanting to sleep more but also not wanting to let her down. Plus, you forgot to eat dinner before bed anyways so why not?

“Fuck it, fine. You owe me though.” You say before hanging up.

You sigh, throwing your phone on the bed. You get out of your bed, quickly missing the warmth and comfort it provided. A chill washes over your skin as you’re exposed to the cold air of your room. You go to put on a warm hoodie and decide to keep your comfy sweatpants on. You quickly grab your car keys and your phone, taking one last glance in the mirror before heading towards the parking lot of your apartment complex. Your hair was messy and disheveled, but you could care less. You were just going to see Sasha anyways.

On your way to her apartment, you stop at Sasha’s favorite fast food restaurant to get dinner for you both. The drive there was short, only about ten minutes. As you arrived you texted her, “here.”

She didn’t reply, which was quite strange. She’s usually fast at replying, especially when there is food involved. As you reach her apartment door, you type in the passcode and walk right in like you normally do. You walked into the kitchen and set the bag of food on the counter.

“Sasha?” you called out. No answer.

You walk towards her bedroom, opening the door that was already cracked open. There she was, cuddled up in her blankets, sleeping. “For fuck’s sake.” You said under your breath.

Sasha looks so pretty with her hair down and sprawled out on her pillow. You had always noticed how attractive she was. Sometimes staring a little too long at her face or especially, her lips. Her skin is so gorgeous and bright. You often find your touches on her skin lingering too long or your eyes wandering over her body whenever she changed in front of you. She was perfect and it often made your head so full of her. Wondering was it was like to touch her, kiss her, taste her, pleasure her.

You realized these actions weren’t normal for regular friends, you’ve known that for awhile so you never acted on them in fear that she might push you away. Plus, it’s not like you’ve ever really had the chance, she’s always been with some guy. They were all trash and the relationship often didn’t last long but still, it frustrated you. She deserves better, no, the best. You’ve heard all of her sex stories and how they never seem to truly satisfy her. You knew you could be the one to do that for her, make her feel so good. Sometimes you day dream about filling her up with your fingers and having her scream your name. You get wet just thinking about it. If only you had the chance.

You move some hair out of her sleepy face, admiring her for a few more seconds before softly shaking her awake. “Sash, wake up I brought food.” You say sweetly.

Sasha’s eyes flutter open and she sits up, yawning and stretching.

“Ahh shit, sorry for falling asleep. Thanks for coming.” She softly smiles at you making you flash a smile back. " ‘s ok”

You’re sitting in front of her, watching her grab her phone and look at the time. 12:23 A.M. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, exposing her plush thighs to you. You rub your thighs together to help ease the tension. You could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra and probably wearing some cute lace panties as well. It’s driving you crazy, you want to feel her so badly.

Sasha lays back on her bed with a groan. You ask her what’s wrong and she replies “i’ve been so fucking horny lately and nico’s been busy so I can’t even call him up. It’s so annoying.” She sighs. This only made you crave her more, trying so hard to push your desires away. “Maybe I should buy a new vibrator or something to keep me company.” She laughs. You smiled but didn’t think it was funny. She didn’t need a vibrator or anything else. What she needed was you.

“Anyways, where’s the food?” She asks eagerly.

“In the kitchen...” You trail off looking at the small bit of drool placed on the corner of her mouth. You take your thumb and wipe it away, your touch lingering a little too long on her lips. All Sasha did was giggle.

Before Sasha could say anything, you place your lips on hers, holding her chin between your thumb and your pointer. You kiss her softly, afraid to scare her off by being too aggressive at first. Sasha’s eyes are wide open, slowly processing the scene before her. You continue to move your lips against hers but you quickly realize she isn’t doing the same. You take this as a hint that she is uncomfortable, parting away from her lips. Not even a second after you broke the kiss, Sasha leaned back in to put her lips on yours. Her hands are on both sides of your cheeks, cupping your face.

Your lips move in synch with hers, relishing in each other’s taste. You want to memorize what she tastes like, you aren’t in any hurry. Your mind is fuzzy as you run your tongue against her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She quickly abides slightly opening up her mouth so your tongue could slide in. Your tongues intertwine, pulling a sweet moan from her mouth into yours. Your cunt clenches in response. It’s your first time hearing her pretty voice like that, all whiny and submissive. It was all because of you. You briefly came back to your senses, pulling away from her lips.

She is slightly panting, lips glossy from the kiss. She looks so sensual right now. “What about niccolo?” you say, slightly averting your eyes so your not tempted to throw her on the bed and fuck her right there, not caring about her feelings. “We’re not exclusive or anything.” She grabs the hem of your shirt, nervously playing with it between her fingers. “So don’t stop, please.” She’s blushing, eyes meeting yours. That’s all you needed to hear from her, a sign that she wants you to keep making her feel good.

You take no time reattaching your lips with hers, placing your hands on her waist to pull her onto your lap. You take your time to pepper sweet kisses from her lips to her jaw then to her neck. Taking the skin of her neck between your teeth while she hisses at the sting, gripping your shoulders roughly. You use the pad of your tongue to ease the sting, tasting her skin. It wasn’t hard for you to find her sweet spot. You suck and kiss her skin, making her an aroused mess on top of your lap. You creep your hands underneath her shirt, feeling the sides of her waist and ribs, while just brushing against the underside of her breasts. You can tell she’s getting impatient from the way she’s letting out small desperate gasps at your touches. You like seeing what a mess she is for you. You can feel the goosebumps on her skin as you feel around underneath her shirt. You give her jaw one last kiss before you pull away to grab ahold of the hem of her shirt. You shoot her a glance of permission and she quickly nods.

One you slide the shirt up and over, her breasts bounce down on full display for you to see. You can only mutter “fuck” at the sight before you. You had seen Sasha barely clothed before but never like this. You’ve never seen this sight knowing you had full control over it. Your eyes wander over her body being completely topless, only some cute lace underwear covering her cunt. “You’re so gorgeous, baby.” you say grasping her breasts in your hands. Sasha moans in response, loving the way you praise her.

You eagerly attach your mouth to her breast, finding the nipple with ease. She immediately whines at the contact. You suck on one breast and palm at the other, making her fingers intertwine with your hair and slightly tug on it when you nip and roll at her nipples. Her breasts are the prettiest you’ve ever seen. Perfectly round and perky, god she’s amazing. You feel her start to grind on top of you, trying to relieve the growing ache between her legs. That only makes you want her more.

“Ride my thigh, baby.” You whisper in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. You grasp her ass and her hips with your hands and guide her body over yours. Helping her ride you while your face is buried in her tits. She gasps at the sudden contact, burying her face into your neck. Her breasts practically bounce in your mouth as she moves back and forth. She nibbles and bites on your neck, trying to handle the overall pleasure of it all. You can tell she’s getting close by the way she’s whining in your ear, hands grasping your shoulders tightly.

All of a sudden you grab her hips harshly, stopping her from making anymore movement. She whimpers at the loss of contact, making you smile as you leave a sweet kiss on her shoulder. You look up at her, grasping her jaw and giving her a light kiss. Your fingers find her wet clothed cunt, making her gasp into your mouth. She whines loudly as soon as your fingers start to circle her clit. You moan in response into her mouth, lapping your tongues sloppily.

She lets out a desperate muffled, “please” into your neck. “Please what? hmm?” you purr bringing her face to look at yours. Her face is a flushed mess and her lips are slightly swollen, making you feel proud of yourself knowing you caused it. Sasha grabs your your other hand that is on her ass and places it near her cunt. “Your fingers, need them so bad.” She pleas. You hum in response, bringing your fingers up to your lips, not hers. You want her to watch you make them wet, so that it’s engraved her mind. You swirl your tongue around your fingers, making wet and sloppy sounds. Sasha watches eagerly, letting out a needy moan. You remove your fingers, leaving a string of saliva connecting from your mouth to your fingers.

Sasha stands up, removes her panties, and sits her pretty ass right back on your lap. You move your fingers down to her folds and softly run through them. Sasha let’s out a small gasp as your fingers reach down to find her slit, teasing the entrance. “Shit, you’re so wet. All this for me?” She nods in agreement with a breathy moan.

You insert your two fingers inside her, painfully slow. She clenches down hard and squeezes her eyes shut. You want her to feel every part of your fingers, want her to remember this feeling. “Feels so good inside me.” She says sweetly, making you pump your fingers inside her just to hear more of her sweet voice. She rides your fingers as you pump them into her at the same time. She throws her head back in pleasure, giving you perfect access to her neck. She cries out your name as you kiss and suck on her sweet spot while filling her up. You grip her ass hard, helping her move up and down on your now soaked fingers. Her walls are so squishy and wet, making you fuck her with your fingers ruthlessly. She repeatedly lets out loud high pitched moans. You’re soaked at this point, all aroused because of her pleasure.

“Am close, you’re filling me up so good!” She cries out. Her words go straight to your cunt and you increase the speed of your fingers, using your thumb to circle her clit at the same time. The erotic sounds of her wetness and her moans fill the room, leaving you so satisfied. Her tits are flying up and down as she rides you faster and you take a mental screenshot to remember this sight forever. “Who’s making you feel good hm? Who’s the one that’s pleasuring you the way no one ever has?” You groan. Your free hand finds it’s place around her neck, squeezing ever so slightly. “You are! It’s all you!” She sobs. The coil in her stomach has reached it’s max and is ready to snap. “Fuck, good girl.” You grunt grabbing her jaw and pulling it forward so your faces are inches away. “Now come for me, pretty.” And she does, practically screaming your name as she cums around your fingers.

She collapses onto your shoulder, panting into your neck. You rub soft circles on her clit to help her come down from her high. You pull your fingers out gently and place them in your mouth to clean them off. She tastes so sweet and saccharine, you can’t help but want to clean her off with your tongue. You whisper sweet praises to her, telling her how amazing she did. She nuzzles into your neck, leaving soft kisses as a thank you.

She hops off of your lap, laying down on the bed. You take no time to pull your sweatpants and panties down. You are so wet, you couldn’t just leave yourself like this. Sasha stares at the ceiling, unaware of your actions until you climb on top of her, cunt hovering over her breasts. She lifts her head up slightly with a confused expression on her face but blushes at the sight of your bare and soaked count. You slightly drag you cunt over her breasts as you grab the back of her head and say “Remember how you said you were hungry? Now eat.”

You practically shove her face into your pussy and she complies. Kissing and kitten-licking your folds at first, making you satisfyingly sigh. She grabs onto the back of your thighs, pushing you closer. You’re basically sitting on her face now. She finally starts to lap her tongue on your clit, making you grip her hair hard. You let out a series of satisfied, loud moans making Sasha whine into your cunt. You praise her for her good work. “such a good girl for me, gonna make me cum, baby?” She pulls away to nod at you before placing her tongue on your pussy again.

She sucks on your clit repeatedly, making your hips slowly ride her face. You do your best not to crush her face in the process. Her tongue feels so good and you love having this power of her. You love quite literally sitting on her face while she submits to all of your requests. She slips her tongue into your dripping hole, making you groan as your throw your head back. You continue riding her face as the room fills with wet sounds from her tongue slipping in and out of you.

It all starts to become too much for you, making your legs twitch and shake. Sasha pulls away for a second. “Want you to cum” She pleas looking up at you, teasing your clit with her tongue. She looks so cute with her begging eyes. You hum in response, grabbing the back of her head. “Since you’ve been very compliant, i’ll allow it.” You stroke the side of her mouth before entering two of your fingers inside. You collect her saliva and your own juices with your fingers, making her pleasantly sigh in response. You bring your fingers out of her mouth and place them on your tongue. “Make mommy cum.”

You shove her face right back where it belongs, earning a gasp from her. She flicks her tongue on your clit at a rapid speed which makes you a moaning mess. You moan over and over again as her tongue reaches all the right places. Her tongue switches between your hole and clit, making you see stars. Your legs start to shake and your breathe picks up. You can feel yourself about to cum by the way your stomach and pussy tingles, sending you into pure euphoria. Sasha focuses on your clit, flicking her tongue ruthlessly to help your reach your high. Your orgasm washed over you with a loud high pitched moan, making your mouth into a perfect O shape. You cum all over Sasha’s face.

She circles your clit with her tongue to help you come down from your high, cleaning all of your release off your pussy and thighs with her tongue. You come back to your senses and remove yourself from her grasp. You both lay there for a couple of minutes, processing everything that just occurred. You couldn’t help but smile, knowing that you just fucked Sasha better than anyone else ever has. All Sasha could say was “wow” and giggle. You laughed along with her, pushing her hair out of her face.

All of a sudden, Sasha’s phone rings. You grab it, seeing Niccolo’s name on the screen and hand it to her. You can slightly hear Niccolo tell her he’s free tonight if she wants. You kiss her shoulder sweetly, waiting for her response. “I’ll pass, i’m pretty content at the moment.” She smiles at you and hangs up on him.

She gives you a quick peck before heading off towards the kitchen. She looks back at you with a cute smile before leaving the room. “Thanks for two meals tonight, by the way.”

[balkanradfem]

Prepairing the soil for the indoor seedlings!

Yesterday, I put many seeds to germinate in a wet paper towel, and I've already used up all of the soil I had stored for spring plants, so, I had to go to the forest on a nice sunny day, and dig out some soil from under a dead stump. I only take soil from already dead and rotting trees, and only take a little, because that soil is now made out of tree-decomposing matter, which is very fertile, rich in nutrients, and basically compost quality. It's also very light and airy and that makes it possible to use in containers, all soil that is used in containers needs to be very light so that the baby plants can stretch their roots thru it.

Other than the forest, I'd been able to find such soil in the areas where the river has flooded and dumped massive amounts of tree leaves, which then decomposed for months, and again, have created compost.

I've planted my seedlings directly into the forest soil before, and they were growing just fine, then for a while I was mixing new forest soil, with already-used-up forest soil, and that was fine too! I also ran some experiments mixing soil with fine sand, and planting half of my seedling in soil+sand mixture, and half in only-soil, and they've both grown equally well, no difference was noticed.

This time, I'm going to mix my forest soil with already-used soil, which I have on my balcony, and I have a bag of fine sand from the riverbank. I'm making this mix because it will increase the amount of soil I can use, since I have a neck injury, it's complicated for me to bring home large amounts of soil home, and re-using soil is effective and easy, and perfectly fine if you add fertilized and nutritious soil in it.

You don't need to go thru this entire process just to grow plants, you can use store-bought soil, or try any kind of soil you have around until something works, I'm doing this just to increase the amount of soil I have and make sure it's easy to grow in!

So I have forest soil, already-used soil, sand, and a bucket to put it all in. Before it gets in the bucket, I want to be meticulous and clean it, because even the already-used soil will have some hard clumps or pieces of bark or something, that might bother the tiny seedlings when they grow. I want to make it the most airy and productive soil ever. This is how the already-used soil looks after it's been clean.

And once it's nice and clean I dump it into the bucket! Now it's time to clean the equal amount of the forest soil, and this one is way more messy. There are leaves, roots, pieces of bark, rocks, seeds, sometimes there's even tiny little bugs I accidentally woke from hibernation, but they are fine and good for the soil, and they generally just keep living in the soil and don't go running around the apartment, so I don't mind them at all.

This is how it looks before and after I cleaned it, I was just brushing my hands thru and taking out anything that felt clumpy and odd. If you had a big sieve you could do this within seconds, but I like having my hands in the soil, so I was having a good time spending 10 minutes picking stuff out.

Now, both of the soils are added into the bucket, and I'm also adding sand in. Sand isn't going to add any nutrition to it, but it is very airy, very light, and very easy for little plants to push seeds thru. It will make the soil lighter, and increase drainage, means the water will run down more easily and the soil will not keep water inside. I've tried to make it about 20% sand.

And I'm loving the result after mixing! The soil is a tad more grey in color, but extremely light and airy, I think the plants are going to love it. It's a bit less filled with nutrients than the pure compost would be, but I will add nutrition when the plants become big enough to require it (when they have more than 1 set of true leaves).

All of the clumps, leaves, pieces of bark and clusters of roots I took out, can be composted, but, I'm going to actually use them for filling the big pots on my balcony. I usually add all of the clumpy soil at the bottom, because it adds more drainage at the bottom, and by the time the plants grow their roots all the way down, they won't be bothered by the clumps, it's only the most fragile tiny roots of baby seeds that are sensitive and need airy and non-clumpy soil.

Since my experiment with mixing went so well, I repeated the process and added once more, a container of used soil, container of forest soil, and a bit of sand, to make a full bucket of soil. Now I have plenty of soil to work with! I'm going to keep this bucket inside of my room, because those baby seeds are used to warm temperatures, and will want to be planted in warm soil. I'm also closing the lid, so the soil remains damp and full of life.

If your soil dries out, then the bacteria and diversity inside of it starts dying off, and it can even become hydrophobic! In case it does get so dry it starts rejecting water, it can still be rehabilitated, by adding more organic soil in it and mixing it all together. I've also seen gardeners add soapy water, because bubbly water has less surface tension and is more easily absorbed by the dry soil. For this purpose, they'd add a few drops of dish detergent in the water.

Here's my bucket of soil! This can fill many containers and cups, and when I run out, I have enough ingredients to make more. In a few weeks, I'll probably have to go to the forest to get some more, but I'll be all set until then.

[wri0thesley]

thank you for infecting me with total naoya brain rot, nat. can i request a breeding kink scenario with him and curvy, thick reader that he thinks looks perfect for bearing him an heir 👀 feel free to make him as nasty as you want, i love to read about this absolute trash fire of a man

Covet - Naoya x Fem!Reader (3.6k)

Naoya wants something from you - you see a chance to get something you want too.

warnings: afab reader, fem pronouns. breeding. power imbalance (reader is a maid at the zen’in estate). talk of pregnancy, knives, misogyny, fingering, coming inside/creampies. the mandatory warning that this fic is about naoya.

You are fairly certain that Naoya Zenin does not know whether you exist. If he has ever noticed you attending to your duties, so much lower and less important than he, he probably doesn’t like you.

At least, you did not think he liked you before this moment. Even now, with his hands on your hips and your body pressed flush against the wall outside his chambers, you’re not certain – there’s a weight to the way he’s holding you, a twist to his lips that you can see from where your cheek has met cool wallpaper. He looks like he’s considering you; sizing you up.

Your cheeks burn as he sizes up your lower half, eyes tracing your hips and ass and thighs without even a hint of remorse, as if it’s his god-given right to look upon you like this even though you’ve barely ever spoken more than a cursory polite; ‘I brought you this, Sir’. That’s what you’ve been taught to do.

Be respectful, stick to the shadows, do what you’re told. It’s an honour to serve the Zenin clan, it’s an honour to be here in the estate – it’s an honour to get a brief moment of any of their time, even if they’re just making demands on you. You sometimes hate yourself, for not being born one of them - you want, you want, you want, like a physical ache. The luxury. The nice treatment. People to think that you merely blessing them with a look is an honour--

It’s an especial honour to be worth Naoya’s time – everybody knows that he’s going to be the next leader. There are always rumours buzzing around the grounds about him; about his power, about his temper, about his personality . . . about which pretty young woman he’ll make his wife and have beside him to rule the clan.

You’re brought back to what’s currently happening by his hands sliding down from where he is clinging onto your hips, generously tracing the curve, admiring just how broad they are.

“Pity you have to hide beneath that,” he says, smirking. Your cheeks are hot. “You’re pretty, you know. At least. . .” One hand moves from your hip, thumb and forefinger squeezing your cheeks to turn them more thoroughly towards him. He looks entirely unruffled by the situation, every inch of him at ease that you will bend to what he wants. “Your body is pretty.” Eyes scan over your face, and you’re suddenly aware of every imperfection, every feature you’ve ever scrutinised. “Hm. Not bad either.”

“I . . . I don’t understand,” You find yourself breathing. He raises one elegant eyebrow. The hand that’s on your hip moves, tracing the plush of your ass through fabric, his lip curling into a smirk. He presses a little bit forward and you feel something stiff press against your other cheek (the one not occupied by his hand) – and your throat goes dry as you realise precisely what he means.

Oh.

Oh.

You should run. Good girls do not do what Naoya wants you to do. You have duties to attend to! You have things that must be done, lest your seniors sigh and tut at you and punish you for neglecting your work. But your throat is very dry and your heart is pounding and there is suddenly a strange twist of heat low in your gut, as Naoya Zenin looks down at you with the air of a man who will devour you if you let him.

You can’t deny it’s thrilling to be wanted – more thrilling to be wanted by someone like him.

“I’ll give you ten seconds,” he says, and his tone is patronising. “If you don’t want me to take you to bed and fuck you, I suggest you make yourself scarce.”

He says it so openly, so brazenly – you suppose that’s what comes of being born into this family. He has nothing to fear in these walls. Not like you.

You imagine yourself underneath him for a second, his hair in disarray, hakama abandoned, his perfectly composed face twisted in pleasure. You should not go to his bed. But . . . you want to. And don’t you deserve something you want, when you’ve spent your entire life watching other people enjoy it?

“You don’t need to,” you breathe, swallowing. Naoya pulls back in amusement, his eyes darkening. He seems so much taller and stronger than you. Even swathed in fabric, it’s clear that there is muscle and strength beneath the clothes. He has been trained to within an inch of his life since the day he was born. He makes a considering noise in the back of his throat. A thumb trails over your cheek.

“Are you sure about that?” The smirk in his voice says that he knows you are. “I won’t be gentle with you, you know. I don’t have all day to romance you. I just want to get you on your back . . .” His thumb slides over your jawline, past your earlobe, until he’s taken a hank of your hair and yanks it back roughly, exposing your throat and making you gasp. “And fuck a son into you.”

He must see the look on your face, because he laughs, the sound cruel even to your ears. He’s still pressed so close to you. Nobody who walked down this hallway would mistake the embrace the two of you were currently in for anything clandestine. You suppose he has nothing to worry about – but your reputation? He’d ruin you for marriage.

“Come on,” he murmurs, chuckling. “Have you seen yourself? You’re made for bearing a child, sweetheart.” The pet name is almost mocking, but your heart skips a beat anyway. “Don’t worry too much. You don’t think I could take care of you, if you carried my heir? You’re a servant, right? You already know how to behave.” His smile is like a wolf. “So, I give you my word that if it takes, I’ll take care of you. Sounds fair, huh?” He jerks on your hair again. “Ten seconds,” he reminds you. “If you want to get out of it. You don’t think there are girls lining up around the block to have me?”

(Judging by the whispers about him, you actually don’t think there are – but judging from Naoya’s eyes, he certainly thinks so.)

He lets go. He steps back. His eyes are still on you, but he raises his arms either side of him as if to show you that you’re free to go. And you do consider it – you let the possibility of running flicker through your head. It’s quickly replaced by the thought of Naoya on top of you, an end to the aching between your legs, and the knowledge of just how you might be treated if Naoya did succeed in his mission.

It’s fine to want nice things, every once in a while.

“Five,” he says, warningly, but his eyes are dark with hunger. “Four. Three.”

You turn towards his bedroom door and grasp the handle, and he laughs, the sound very loud.

“Oh,” he says, “so you’re going to be fun.”

The minute his bedroom door clicks behind him, Naoya wastes no time on being on you. He’s full throttle, immediately – hands pulling at your clothes, rough, his mouth on your neck. He avoids your mouth, like he doesn’t quite want to kiss you – but as you bite back a moan as he nips at your throat and he groans in response at the noise, you realise that he wants to hear you.

Figures a man like that wants the reassurance that you’re enjoying yourself. Figures he wants to crow over every whimper that drops from your lips. Hands pull at your kimono, almost ripping it in his hurry to have the fabric out of his way and on the floor. You barely even notice he’s been pushing you across the room until you’re pushed hard down, and your back meets pillows and sheets instead of the floor.

The way you fall makes a perfect tableaux; the material of your outfit pooling around you, your body in the middle of it, clad in only your underwear. His light eyes rake over you hungrily.

“Fuck,” he says. His hands immediately go to your hips, thumbs pressing hard into the soft flesh. You barely fit in his hands, the curve of you dramatic. “You’re going to be perfect for this, huh? Look at you. It’s a fucking shame you’re not knocked up right now--”

Your body reacts to his touch and his look, though you can’t help but be embarrassed by it – it’s one thing to be entranced by someone pretty, you think, but it’s another thing to be entranced by the idea of how pretty someone will look when their stomach is swollen and their breasts have swelled and their hips have filled out because they’re bearing your child.

He doesn’t bother with unclipping your bra. He reaches into his hakama and panic flashes before your eyes when he pulls out a knife, but he uses it merely to slice the gore between your bra cups, right between the cute bow adorning them.

“I—I liked that,” you say, but your voice sounds very wobbly in the room, under Naoya’s gaze, under his hands. He snorts.

“I like you better without it,” he says shortly, as if your likes and dislikes are not a consideration to be taken into account. For him, you suppose they’re not. “Besides.” Hands travel from your hips to cup your breasts, squeezing the meat of the mounds so that you groan and arch your back, desire pooling between your legs. “I wanted to see these. I wanted to touch them.” He grins. “I wanted to imagine how nice they’re going to look when they get bigger.”

He squeezes the point of each of your nipples, so hard that the pleasure almost becomes pain.

“I think I’ll leave marks on you,” he says, conversationally. He pulls an arm back and suddenly has slapped you, your breast stinging, a brief imprint of his hand showing on your skin. He admires how your breast moves with the force – you’re too surprised to even make a noise of pain. “Good girl. I want you to remember how I feel when we’re done.”

You don’t think you could forget. You definitely can’t forget the sting of the second slap, this one making you moan – it hurts, but part of it feels good to be marked by him. You definitely can’t forget his thumbs hooking into your underwear, dragging it past your thighs – the way that he drinks in the wet patch on the fabric. You definitely don’t think you’ll be able to forget the chuckle that leaves his mouth as he spreads your thighs and sees your sex for the first time, already slick.

“You like being treated rough, huh?” He asks you. There’s that grin again; a predator, a man who has never been told no, a man who doesn’t know what it’s like to not have everything he has ever wanted at his fingertips. “Good. I like playing rough.”

He still doesn’t kiss you. He dives his head down, though, his teeth once more nipping at your neck, at your breast, tongue lathing across your nipples. One of his hand delves between your legs, spreading the plump labia, fingers briefly stroking your clit and sending a hot bolt of lightning all through you.

“That’s right,” he murmurs, as he pushes a finger inside of you. You’re slick and tight around his digits, hot and silky – one of his fingers alone is like a vice. You’re going to feel so good. He doesn’t much care whether his cock hurts you or not – but he wants you to be so fucked out by the time he’s come inside you that you don’t care about him leaving your legs propped up so not a single trickle of come leaks out of you. He doesn’t want a whimpering little bitch in his bed – he wants someone who’ll lie there, patiently, prettily, and let him make sure it takes.

You’re going to be good for that, he knows it. With a body like that, and eyes like that, and a clear longing for something better than the shitty hand you’ve been dealt? Oh, yes. You might not know it, but Naoya likes you immensely.

That you’re a servant, who’s been taught your place - that you’ll look at the ground respectfully and walk behind him and agree to whatever he says, like women should? Even better. Perfect. Fuck any of those snooty young women of a clan who think that just because they were born with a name, they were somehow more than a cunt for breeding--

Two fingers. This one gets a cry from you, almost too full – Naoya clicks his tongue against his teeth. He’s not patient, but he slows down, scissoring you open. One of your hands seems to flex out as if going to grab his bicep – but thinks better of it, clutching for purchase on the bed instead. Cute.

He can’t help but watch his fingers dive in and out of you, already coated in your liberal slick. They already look so good – he can’t even imagine how good his cock will look, hilted so deep in you he’s all you can feel.

Three fingers. You’re making soft little noises, circling your hips – there’s a coil in your belly that Naoya’s fingers are stoking in a way you didn’t expect, one that you feel like you’re so close to getting to spring forth – he slides his fingers out of you as he feels you tightening and tensing around him. If you’re close enough to come on his fingers, he reasons, you’re close enough to take his cock.

He didn’t expect to be so entranced by how pretty you looked, all curves and soft on his bed – but there’s time for that later. Right now, his cock is driving a hole through his own underwear. The thought of fucking his seed into you, of having you coming around his cock . . . you moan in frustration at the lack of stimulation as his hands busy themselves peeling off his own clothes.

“What’s the matter?” He asks you, a little breathless. You don’t notice that – good. He hates people witnessing weakness. “You need to be filled up?”

“I—” your teeth dig into your bottom lip, and Naoya has the urge to kiss you that he pushes back.

Not now. Not yet. Not while you’re still scum. He can transform you, and maybe you’ll be worthy of that – but right now, you’re an empty shell, and Naoya needs to mould you into something fuller and better before he’ll lower himself to brush his lips over your own. That’s too intimate. That’s too much.

“You don’t need to use your words,” he purrs. “You’re soaking wet.”

You urge your thighs further apart as Naoya’s clothes slip off of him and you see his cock jutting proud against his stomach. You haven’t had much experience to know whether it’s a nice cock, whether he’s big – but Naoya grins when he sees you looking, ferocity sparking in his expression.

“You may as well look at it,” he tells you, “because it’s going to be buried inside you in just a moment--”

He’s on the bed, his body on top of yours. His hands are clinging to the hips he’s admired so much, his grip tight enough to mark. His face is close enough that you can see the sculpt of his lips and the fan of his eyelashes, the dark pupils. The wet head of his cock smears precome on your thigh as he positions himself at your entrance – and as he sinks inside, your body welcomes him.

He hisses in fluid pleasure as his cock descends inside of you inch by slow, inexorable inch – the stretch, the burn, the slick fluid pleasure. This time, one of your hands does find purchase on his shoulder – but Naoya is enjoying the feeling of your walls kissing his cock, embracing him tight and deep, too much to snap at you for being such an insolent thing. Your nails leave little crescent moon marks in his shoulder that he decides to forgive. After all – you’ll have bruises in the shape of his handprints tomorrow, he knows it. He doesn’t have a single crumb of shame about it.

If he gets his way, you’ll have more than just those as a mark of tonight. He hilts inside you, his skin pressing hot against yours. You’re so full – he feels so very deep, buried as far as he can go. All of your breath has been knocked out of you.

Your eyes meet his for just a moment.

“Better hold on,” he tells you. “I told you I wouldn’t be gentle.”

The first pull out is swift, immediately thrusting back inside you with such force that your body rocks on the bed. He wasn’t lying about not being gentle; his hips quickly establish a punishing rhythm, helped along by the slick glide of your channel, the wetness leaking around his cock. He pulls you a little with every thrust, the hands on his hips assisting him being able to watch his cock drive in and out of your sex. It’s a mark of the strength he has that the only sign that you weigh anything at all is a huff of breath in between his thrusts – you’ve never exactly felt delicate  in your life, but something about Naoya’s way of handling you makes you think that he could break you in half if he tried.

That is, if his rough thrusts in and out of you don’t split you in two first. You give up trying to do anything other than hold onto him, your mouth dropping open in a series of wordless wails and moans.

(Naoya prefers quiet women, he has to admit – but there’s something endearing about you giving up in bed, giving yourself to him in voice as well as body. Perhaps he doesn’t mind a loud woman, as long as the reason she’s loud is because he’s fucking her silly).

His skin slaps against your skin. The sound mixes with your own whimpers and gasps, Naoya’s quieter breathing, the embarrassingly wet sounds of his cock plunging in and out of you. The release that was denied to you earlier with his fingers is creeping back up on you again, all hot pleasure and tight tension. With every thrust, Naoya is hitting a spot amongst your plush walls that has your eyes rolling back in your head and your body all hot and needy. He doesn’t care if you come, really – this isn’t about you – but . . . just another of those things he supposes he could get used to, as the ball of pleasure inside of you finally unravels and you feel yourself come.

And oh, he could get used to that feeling too – how your walls pulsate around him, pulling his cock tighter inside of you, practically milking him. His hips just get faster, snapping against you like a man possessed – heh. Isn’t that funny?

Your chest is heaving, but he’s enjoying the feel of your hips too much to play with your tits again. When they’re all swollen with milk and bigger and rounder, he’ll probably fuck you again, slower . . . and then, he’ll get his feel of touching them. Just like he’ll get his feel of your thighs even plusher, your stomach rounder, your hips even better in his grip--

It’s those thoughts that push him over the edge. Your body softened and rounded with his child – his son, his heir. You’re fucking perfect for it. He groans, his hips snapping and driving so deep inside you that you think he’ll break – and then, he’s groaning, and his cock is pulsing inside you as the sensation of his come painting your walls hot and thick overtakes your senses.

He pumps his cock a few more times inside of you after the initial release, as if he’s trying to push his seed even further within you. You’re shuddering, exhausted, your body aching – and so, you don’t argue beyond a soft noise of pain at the unpleasant prickle as he pulls his cock out of you. You don’t argue when he slides a pillow beneath your hips and says;

“Keep your legs bent like that.”

Naoya takes a moment to admire you. Your pretty cunt is darkened from his aggressive fucking, clit swollen, slick with your own desire-- he frowns as he notices a drop of something whiter and thicker. That won’t do. Two fingers roughly push his come back into you, pressing it deeply, making you groan and your hips weakly thrust against them.

It’s cute that you’re still welcoming to his fingers; that your sex still sucks them in as if it’s greedy to be fucked again. Your eyes are half-lidded, glassy – your lips bitten dark. He thinks he could fuck you again and you wouldn’t even complain.

Yes. He grins at you. Give it a little while, to make sure his come takes – and then, he thinks, he will fuck you again. There’s no harm in being thorough, right?