#like it's obviously not going to solve it and i'm still gonna struggle some but it's something that'll help at least

[nexus-nebulae]

i wish i'd reblogged that one video i saw talking about The Tray (tray of food in fridge that you can just snack on like an Executive Dysfunction Charcuterie) bc i actually tried it and like. i am Eating More? i think?? The Tray is much more powerful than i expected

[coldwind-shiningstars]

Dungeon Meshi is obviously primarily about food, eating, and crucially survival through eating, but it's also focused on other aspects of survival. Sleep, rest, social ties and social exclusion. There's even extensive commentary on things like personal grooming (Marcille’s hair, Toshiro becoming depressed and no longer shaving), clean bathrooms, and other things. When it comes to disability these things are referred to as instrumental activities of daily life (IADLs), which are more complex things like shopping, housework, and cooking, which people need to do to survive, and activities of daily life (ADLs) which are the basic bare bones needs: eating, toileting, etc. Dungeon Meshi is concerned with the logistics of living and finding joy in those logistics.

This is super related to disability! Yes, Laios is autistic, this has been apparent from the beginning. But what does being autistic mean for him and the story? Mostly, it means his desires, goals, and the ways he goes about achieving them are strange, foreign, or baffling. He has different priorities than other people and the way he expresses those priorities are strange. They affect how he socializes, how he eats…

So, it absolutely makes sense that there would be a minor sideplot about activities of daily living and what it's like to be out of sync with everyone else when it comes to prioritizing things. It's Mithrun Time (he's gonna mith all over the place) and I'm so SO interested in the interplay of disability, caregiving and the logistics thereof, and intersectionality & privilege. Who needs care? How do other people feel about them needing care? How do they receive that care? And who do we think is worthy of receiving care and how does that interact with all these other factors?

Bunch of manga and extras spoilers past the cut:

“So, what's wrong with you?”

I see a lot of people talking about Mithrun's non-eye disability as a depression allegory, which I think is true, but I think it's also metaphorically/symbolically both a traumatic brain injury and a trauma response to sexual assault. The sexual assault aspect is pretty clear if you look at any of the symbolism of the actual disabling event: just look at it.

Mithrun is lying in bed and the goat comes to him, lifts him up and puts its mouth on his abdomen and lower pelvis. The eating is sexually charged, as is the particular way he struggles and protests. It's intensely violating, and things that were once desirable are lost. And the dungeon lord group therapy session involves a lot of people talking about the demons like an abusive lover; Mithrun, even though he wanted to kill the demon so badly, still says that they're gentle.

As for the brain injury, chronic TBIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms. Some immediately relevant ones are anhedonia (lack of enjoyment), executive function issues, poor interoception (trouble understanding what's going on in your body), cognitive impairment affecting ability to reason/multitask/plan/solve problems, changes in behavior and personality, depression, agitation, and restlessness. We see… basically all of these, in Mithrun, as downstream effects of the loss of desires. He can't tell when he's hungry, tired, or out of mana; he can't perform ADLs consistently even if he knows he'll die without doing them and dying without doing them will interfere with his long-term goal, he had drastic personality changes, he oscillates between impatient and totally withdrawn.

Brain injuries can also affect more complex tasks and ability to sustain lengthy periods of complex cognitive work. A common example is losing the ability to read and process longer passages; maybe you can read the words but you can't read a paragraph, or maybe you can read paragraphs but now you get a migraine after 15 minutes. Mithrun's skill loss is not related to reading but the effect is similar – he is and was extremely skilled in a particular area of magic, but also disabled in ways that specifically hinder his skill in this area – to teleport things properly you need depth perception and a sense of direction, and he lacks both of these! And while he's still an incredibly effective fighter it seems like he pretty frequently makes those sorts of mistakes.

This is treated often as a gag and it is genuinely funny but it’s also very real, to no longer be as good at the thing you were good at before you became disabled. Kui takes several throwaway gags seriously later on, not just this one. Another ~gag that's not really elaborated on is the bathroom thing, but I appreciate its inclusion anyway, since even if it's presented humorously it doesn't feel meanspirited in a way a lot of “diaper jokes” do. I think people need to talk a lot more about bathroom issues in a wide variety of disabilities, and I think it's nice that a guy I can already picture the “poor little meow meow” posts about also has this issue, you know?

Preferences vs Desire

Even referencing PTSD and TBIs it's hard to really grasp what having no desires means, and the characters don't generally ask, while Mithrun explains it in vague terms. “Desires” is a very broad term and indeed he has lost access to a wide but related variety of things. Unfortunately this lead to him often being treated as nonagentic.

Mithrun does still have preferences, even if he doesn't express them and has no desire which would drive him to seek out pleasant things and avoid unpleasant ones. He'll comment on the taste and texture of foods, for example – sure seems like he has an opinion!

People treat it like his preferences don't matter since he doesn't usually bring them up unprompted, and he's often in situations where there aren't other options.

Kabru seems best at not doing this (and, noncoincidentally, also seems to be the best at actually caring for him; the Canaries have a lot more Resources theoretically than Kabru And Mithrun Eating Monsters And Kabru's A Bad Cook, but although they are loudly distressed by the two of them disappearing it seems to have positively affected Mithrun's general health)

But, uh, acknowledgement that someone has preferences at all is a really low bar to clear and Kabru also doesn't seem to fully understand how Mithrun's brain works. Mithrun’s caregivers want him to eat when they want him to eat. They want him to rest and drink when they want him to.

He lacks the desire for a number of mundane things but also seems to lack the ability to tell when he needs them. He can't explain why he faints; is “I am out of mana” considered a desire for more mana, one that can be eaten? He can't sleep on his own; it's not only that he lacks “the desire to go to bed” but he can't do anything with his own exhaustion, even if he notices it. He comments on the unpleasant taste and texture of several meals; he may be unable to want to not eat it, but he definitely can tell when he dislikes something. But he also seems to be unable to tell when he's hungry.

Kabru will acknowledge these preferences but there's not really other food options, and Everyone Must Eat. Kabru doesn't know the details of Mithrun's condition yet but you can see the immediate frustration here and the way he offers food to him like Mithrun's a child.

Sure, he won't directly communicate preferences, so that makes it extra hard, but you can always just ask, and if he tells you he tells you.

The pathway between opinion and taking actions about it may be lost in Mithrun but the dungeon forces other people into a similar position – it forces them to eat food they don't want to eat so that they can survive or accomplish other goals. We've seen this with Marcille from the beginning. It's difficult with Mithrun because it seems like there is always going to have to be some sort of someone else overriding his autonomy – yeah, he's not hungry but he still needs to eat or he'll faint. Yeah, he's lying about whether or not he's clean but he still needs to wash or he'll die. Yeah, he needs to take a rest instead of keeping moving or he'll faint. But he's not unique in being in a situation where he has to do nonpreferred things. The difference is more that he lacks the ability to independently do anything when it comes to ADLs, preferred or not, which makes it into someone else’s choice and responsibility.

There's also a theme in Dungeon Meshi that comes up a bit of people being pushy about ADLs but from a slightly different perspective, and they're usually right. You see this in Senshi most commonly; he pushes the residents of the Golden City to actually eat even if they don't need to and can't taste it, and while he's correct in that Yaad does get enjoyment from the food even without taste he's still not quite listening to Yaad. Similarly, Kabru is correct in that he can get Mithrun to sleep without a sleeping spell, but he also ignores the way Mithrun says several times that he doesn't expect massage to work. There's a few aspects to this – wild but expected that the elves would choose the “just knock him out with a spell” route, the “easy way” Senshi always talks about when it comes to magic, instead of actually paying attention to other solutions. But also, generally, people know their bodies best, and sometimes even if you're really sure you have the trick to help them you have to listen to what they tell you.

tvtropes dot org frontslash DisabilityTropes

This is going to be a harder section just because it's so subjective; it's nearly impossible to think about the ways in which disabled people are viewed by the people around them/wider society with any degree of objectivity just because there are so many factors that go into it. But I do think Mithrun is consistently treated as relatively nonagentic and there are several ways this can manifest: being treated as a doll/pet/child, being treated as a weapon, and being a surface for people to project onto.

He's framed or treated as childlike intermittently through the manga; scattered about, just a little vibe in the way he's drawn, like the "say aah" above and Pattadol and Cithis through the teleportation scroll :

That's a middle aged man! And he's framed like a toddler getting picked up or misbehaving.

Which doesn't mean they care about him any less; his squad is really fond of him for someone who's technically like their parole officer. How dare you do this to our captain! They love him dearly; this is obvious and he comments on it! They respect him, too, as the leader and as a strong fighter. But loving someone and thinking they're a skilled fighter doesn't mean you respect their autonomy fully.

There's also an element of everyone projecting their own issues onto him; Kabru with their shared Dungeon Trauma. The canaries all suggesting wacky, midlife-crisis desires. He doesn't ever express that he minds any of this, except when they try to stop him from making particular decisions. They also don't often understand why he'd be motivated to do a particular thing, and in fact some of these projections may actually be correct! But while noodles and pottery may be good later-on goals for him, I think it's striking that a) Kabru was the closest to correctly guessing what desire Mithrun might acquire now and he was still guessing the exact opposite (suggesting a desire to not eat Falin but to help Laios, vs Mithrun's actual desire, which was to eat Falin with no thought given to the promise he made at all) and b) it's a desire that actually makes perfect sense with what we know about him, not something totally new.

And, finally, he's a weapon: people are willing to caretake him because he's good at killing things dead. If his only desire is to kill demons dead, it's easy to start seeing that as who he is. I don't think he'd argue that “trying to kill demons” takes up the majority of his life (it's his only goal and he's obsessed with it) but even if there's only one thing that matters to him he has autonomy (in the sense that he can make his own choices about what to prioritize and formulate his own plans) and personhood.

Politics and privilege – who gets to access care?

One of the things we're first presented with when it comes to Mithrun is that he is intensely capable at handling dungeons. Yeah, there's the immediately visible prosthetic eye and the navigation issues, but the Canaries are built up as being incredibly dangerous and skilled, and he's their captain; they all immediately defer to him. He's intense, he curbstomps an entire room of guards, he's efficient, he's brutal, he's strong physically and magically.

In short: yeah, he's very disabled. He's also still very useful.

At the risk of oversimplification, even within his particular disability, he's much more disabled than Marcille is (she lost something relatively simple and easy to miss, she has no catatonia-moment) but less disabled than Thistle, who seems to still have at least one desire related to the king but is still primarily catatonic. It seems like Thistle is not unusual among ex-dungeon lords, even if there's enough noncatatonic dungeon lords to form a support group later. When Milsiril finds Mithrun, she immediately intends to mercy-kill him – this seems to be a condition the elves are familiar with but consider terminal, at least to the degree Mithrun is affected, and people seem unfamiliar what it means to keep living in this state because Mithrun is unusual in that he survives at all. And he's “allowed” to survive initially because he's not as disabled as he could have been (still has a desire) and that desire is useful. They aim him at the dungeons and off he goes. It takes twenty years for him to recover enough to do it, sure, but they're elves. They can wait. He can still be useful.

Relatedly, when he loses the ability to pursue his desire he's immediately much worse off than he was previously.

The no-desire catatonia is something that can recur and the elves continue to not know how to handle it. If Kabru wasn't there to problemsolve I think he'd have just… stayed there with his increasingly distressed squad.

Speaking of his squad, there's also a fascinating power dynamic going on with just the inherent structure of the Canaries; criminals are assigned as his caregivers. There's the inherent unfairness to the criminal Canaries about them being given extra duties, this strange rich noble guy who's now their Responsibility. There's so much possibility for resentment in normal caregiving relationships, much less being forced by your jailor into caregiving someone. But there's also an element of the power the prisoner Canaries now have over him and his most basic ADLs and needs. Assigning Cithis to his care is such a can of worms! The dynamics of the situation are frankly awful for both of them; of course she resents him initially. It would be strange for her not to. When Pattadol catches her making Mithrun do embarrassing things, she instantly reminds Cithis of her lower-status – she's forced to care for this nobleman and then forcibly reminded that she's beneath him.

She's responding to having menial, low-status tasks forced on her by trying to humiliate him, and although he doesn't have the ability to care enough to stop her it's still a deliberate removal of dignity. He's the instrument with which she is punished and she punishes him in return (until it's not fun anymore and she understands him a bit more.)

Mithrun is a long-lived race, who has structural power over the shorter lived races simply because of how long they live. The dwarves and elves try to actively keep certain knowledge from other races, restricting their access to technology, and other expressions of distance. Senshi spends nearly the whole first season not listening to Chilchuck trying to explain that he's an adult and treating him like a child, and Kabru repeatedly says that the elves do the same thing (and tbh we see them doing it). There's even the fact that it took him twenty years to recover enough to join the Canaries again; a shorter-lived race might have died from old age in this time, or become too old to work in this capacity, and then wasted away without the drive to return to the dungeons. But they're elves; the other elves can afford to wait, and he's not going to age out of dungeoneering any time soon. Being an elf probably contributes to his wealth in the same way skin color contributes to wealth inequality in the real world.

Dungeon Meshi doesn't really go into race in the sense of skin color much, and Kui is writing from a different cultural standpoint than I am. While tallmen are quite accurate when it comes to skin/hair color (yes, even Kabru and his blue eyes; it's rare but possible) and cultural references, the elves, uh, absolutely are not, both in the sense of “dark skin & pale hair and eyes trope” and sense of the royals having jet black skin.

Still, I feel like race is so connected to care and caregiving in the real-world west that I would be profoundly remiss not to mention it. Skin color might not matter to elves in the racism sense, but it matters to humans and humans are the ones writing and analyzing this story. (And I fully expect as the fandom grows with anime-onlies people will like Mithrun more because he's white (has white features) than they would if he had darker skin, because fandom is also baseline racist.)

I don't think we can just not mention that Mithrun is pale-skinned and both Cithis and Kabru, his primary caregivers over the story, both have dark skin.

Racism means white people are more likely to get good medical care, the type you need to get diagnosed and prescribed caregiving. Racism means wealth distribution is uneven, favoring white people. Race affects immigrants taking on undesirable jobs like caregiving for low pay. Racism is a profound stressor which means it contributes to who becomes disabled in the first place in that it can worsen health outcomes.

Similarly to race, gender may not be very obvious when it comes to this subplot within the story but the gendered dynamics of caregiving in the real world are something I do want to touch on. There's an oft-cited statistic about how men are much more likely than women to divorce their partners when their partners are diagnosed with a serious condition; I don't like relying too much on those sorts of statistics because they can be so misleading but it does gesture at something very real, culturally. Even if men aren't supposed to be caretaken, women are supposed to be the caretakers. Certainly, it's not Mithrun's fault that he can't cook and can't do laundry and probably can't do most housework, but I do also think about all the posts passed around about “my boyfriend who won't do housework.”

Again, none of these privileges make him less disabled and less in need of and deserving of care, they're just worth talking about when we talk about caregiving in general.

It's Rotten Work, Even If It's You

People expect disabled people receiving care to be grateful, to accept anything, and to try and make it easier for the caregiver if they're able. Requiring care is an incredibly disadvantaged position, even as actually receiving it can be so tangled up in privilege. Caregiving is tremendously difficult work, it's true, but there's a particular vibe people want from disabled people – all those movies about not wanting to be seen as a burden. Never complaining. Being grateful.

And, uh, well…

Mithrun basically accepts anything his caregivers do, but he's not grateful at all! I appreciate that in a disability portrayal. He'll also lie to and ignore his caregivers, which is Annoying but is definitely an expression of autonomy even if he's probably not doing it specifically to express his autonomy. He's not going to thank you. He's not going to make it easy. He'll accept a lot of things considered “undignified,” and he's not mean or unpleasant in the sense that he's taking advantage or anything, but he's certainly not a model patient.

He's running off back into the dungeons just when you think you've finally gotten him somewhere safe.

There's always a strange tension in caregiving, I've found. It is incredibly intimate but a lot of it is done by total strangers. A number of caregiving tasks are viewed by the wider world as entitled but placing those tasks in the hands of strangers is a remarkably tough place to be in. As a disabled person, I've had to accept my bowel movements being discussed with my parents’ friends, all sorts of being physically moved places not against my will but without my permission, even my pubic hair being shaved off by a stranger (nurse) while I was unable to speak or move. When people are feeding you, making sure you use the toilet, rubbing your feet to make you sleep, helping you with hygiene – people are working so hard to help you. Are you supposed to just accept them doing whatever they want to you?

There's also a dynamic where people will say they don't mind caring for you, they're happy to do it, and then as the years go by and you continue to need care the resentment just builds up. Caregiving is hard work. It's often thankless. The goodness of people’s hearts can run dry, when it's been twenty years and you still can't bathe yourself.

Aaand I need to continue in reblogs, because I'm out of space for images. Please hold. edit: you can find part 2 here

[ericsprincess]

i can't stop for you and me

nc-17, Sung Hanbin/Reader, office au, lawyer!reader, also bully!reader (kinda), doormat!Hanbin, cunnilingus

~~~

A/N: Reparations ;) This is a gift for a friend. I'm not a ZB1 fan and I don't know them well, so I hope it’s at least a little bit of a fitting scenario for Hanbin.

~~~

Fucking CUTE. You think while spinning your pen between your fingers. You’re sitting behind your big wooden desk, peeking over the dossier that you’ve been pretending to read for the past 15 minutes, your eyes scanning through the office in front of you, until they find your favorite target - your new pretty assistant, Hanbin. 

To be honest, he’s not even doing anything particularly cute, he’s quite literally just doing his job, staring into a computer screen and typing occasionally. He’s that pretty and adorable just by existing, with his delicate porcelain doll face and black hair.

I should have hired that old lady, you lament, but you know it’s bullshit. You knew you’re gonna give him a job offer the moment he walked into the meeting room for his interview, all fresh from school and excited to start his career. He looked so proper and polite, thoughtfully answering every question, even daring to blush and sweat under your scrutiny. You took one brief look at his CV to check if he’s qualified enough, and he was. There might have been better, more experienced candidates, but you decided to do this thing for you, just this once. Treat yourself. 

And now it’s coming back at you in full force. 

This is not good. This is a problem. His presence makes you feel things and all of them are inappropriate at the very least. 

It’s not helping that he would obviously bend over backwards to make you happy. You don’t even need to finish the question and he’s already eagerly rushing to complete whatever unnecessary task you made up this time. No request is dumb enough for him to object, and you actually tried. He would just happily go about his way to fulfill it. You could send him to sort cases by alphabetical order backwards and he would just ask when it’s supposed to be done. Sometimes you like to ruffle his feathers a little more by giving him work that he’s clearly not ready for, like that one time where you made him give a presentation to your client instead of yourself. You actually thought he’s going to faint, but somehow he powered through it just by sheer determination, earning an approving smile and nod from you, going all red in reply. 

Not to say that thanks to his good looks he solved your perpetual problem of missing partner at every work function and dumb dinner party with clients. Now you get to drag your handsome assistant along as your plus one to every event, where you can not only parade him around, but also enjoy him fussing over your comfort, bringing you drinks, holding your coat or bag and even driving you home. You can see the jealousy in others and it makes you secretly happy. 

You wouldn’t be able to do that, if you hired that old lady. 

And even today, despite being already long past his shift, he still decided to stay working late, just because you did. The office is already empty and dark, the only sole source of light shining on his face is his computer screen in his cubicle and the light coming out of your glass walled office. 

He rubs his eyes. 

You slap the dossier down on your desk.

“Hanbin-sshi, can you please come here for a second?” you call out. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he immediately replies and gets up. He’s sluggish and obviously tired and you almost feel bad for him. Almost. 

“Can I help you with anything?” he asks. 

“Yes. I would like you to run to the Starbucks, I want some coffee. I’d like a venti pumpkin spice latte-” you pause, seeing as he’s struggling to fish out his phone to take notes. “with four shots of espresso, almond milk, light caramel drizzle, light foam, one pump of pumpkin sauce, one pump of maple pecan sauce and salt topping. Thank you.” you smirk at him as he’s dutifully tapping everything down. 

“No problem, I’ll be right back, ma’am,” he bows a little and rushes out of the door. 

Your stomach rumbles. Actually. 

“Actually!” you call out, but he doesn’t reply. You jump out from behind your table in hope of maybe being able to catch him, but when you run out of the office you can see he’s already left.

Oh well. Maybe I’ll just send him for the second time, when he gets back. 

You turn back to return to your office, when his computer pings with a message. 

Huh? He didn’t lock his computer? 

You take a look, and really - he didn’t. He must have forgotten or just didn’t care, since no one else is left at the office at this time.

Moreover, the message is not from your designated work chat app, but from a personal one. You lean forwards to take a look at the unread notification. 

matt says: so how’s the late hours with the sexy boss going? dude you’re a masochist. 

You blink. Without any hesitation you click on the chat and scroll through the last messages. 

hb says: fuck it's getting really hard to hide my boners from her

>every time she orders me around i can barely think

>i just go home and jerk off everyday thinking about her bossing me around

>if she ever finds out im screwed

>i literally stayed working late, just in case she wants something

>she could ask me to eat her pussy under her desk and i would just crawl under 

>matt i’m so fucked

Your reflection on the computer screen twists into a wide grin. Oh. What a beautiful bunch of revelations. 

You had a hunch that he must like taking orders and feeling accomplished by completing tasks, but you didn’t know it’s sexual for him. Much less, that it’s because of you, in particular. But hey, at least it validates your own interests in this little game. 

You do your best to curb your giddiness and return back behind your desk. Hanbin appears a few minutes later, with your coffee in hand and a little bag in another. 

“Here, ma’am. I also took the liberty to bring you some snack, since it’s really late and you must be hungry.” he hands you both. 

You open the little back and pull out a blueberry muffin. “Thank you, Hanbin-sshi,” you take a bite. “It’s like you’re reading my mind. I hope I’m not putting you through too much trouble.” 

“Oh, no, really, it’s not a problem,” he’s quick to assure you, shaking his head. 

“Hanbin-sshi, it’s such a joy to have you. You’re always so eager and helpful, I could not pick a better assistant,” you smile kindly at him. 

“T-thanks, ma’am, this really means a lot to me.” he stutters, cheeks already burning red. 

“Sometimes it feels like I could ask you to eat my pussy under my desk, and you would just crawl right under, wouldn’t you?” you ask with a smirk.

He freezes. Gotcha.

“I-..”

“You?”

“I- I actually, I would,” he admits. He looks nervous, like he's sure he’s busted, outed as a pervert and will be fired immediately. It looks good on him.

“Okay,” you nod and push yourself off your desk on your chair. You gesture at the space. “Be my guest.”

He looks at you disbelievingly, as if he’s not sure if you’re serious or if it’s just some kind of a prank. But eventually, he seems to make up his mind. 

He slowly falls on his knees. He looks at you, as if to check whether it is really something you want, and when he sees you’re not putting a stop to it, he slowly crawls on his all fours under your big desk. 

You roll your chair back to its place. You look down, where two big eyes are staring right back at you. 

“I hope it were not just empty words, Hanbin-sshi. I’m sure you don’t want to disappoint me,” you warn him. 

“No, of course not, ma’am,” he hurries to assure you and visibly gathers all the courage to actually touch you. He runs his hands over your legs and leans forwards. 

He starts kissing your thighs, while bunching your skirt up, even daring to suck and lick a little at your skin. He slowly gets to your pussy and he doesn’t hesitate to lick over your panties, already wet ever since you discovered his true feelings. It’s like he’s trying to get as much of your taste as he can through them, licking until they are completely drenched with both your juices and his saliva. He’s kneeling in front of you, holding you around your hips, his whole face buried in your crotch, like he doesn't care if he can even breathe. 

It feels good and you’re getting more and more aroused, but you can’t wait for a more direct stimulation. You grab him by his hair and pull him off you by force. You quickly lift yourself up to pull down your panties, and he frantically helps, even tries to dive back in, but your hold won’t let him. 

You look into his eyes and wait a second until he calms down a bit, while he whimpers. He’s all red and clearly aroused and he looks so pretty, you’re sure you will never forget this sight of his delicate face, eager to pleasure you. 

“Now you can,” you say and let go of his hair. He doesn’t hesitate a moment and quickly leans forwards to get back your pussy. 

It feels like his tongue is everywhere. He’s licking all over your pussy and trying to push his tongue in. You have half a mind to tell him to use his fingers, but his tongue already feels so good, you want to see if he will manage to make you cum only like that. 

And it seems he will, since when he moves to your clit, it’s basically game over for you. 

He’s clearly bringing out his A-game, rubbing all over your clit with flat tongue in cruel tempo, building up your pleasure, until he can tell you’re getting close, then switching to quicker flicks, his mouth sealed around your pussy as if he was making out with it. 

You’re getting close and you know he can tell, just by the sounds you’re making. You’re so wet it must be dripping off his face. He’s tireless, his tongue never stopping, he’s even moaning a little, as if it was him being pleasured.

You grab him by his hair and push him even closer and then you’re cumming, smothering him with your pussy and juices and not letting him breathe at all, not until you’re finished. He’s not fighting it, letting you ride his face as much as you need, slowly coming down from your orgasm. 

You let him go, and he takes a deep breath. He looks up at you.

You roll your chair back a little. You take a moment to enjoy the look at him all out of his mind, kneeling under your desk, red, sweaty and disheveled. He’s breathing heavily, aroused and undeniably close to orgasm, without even touching himself.  

“Are you hard, Hanbin-sshi?” you ask. 

It’s a stupid question, his cock is obviously tenting his pants, even leaving a dark wet spot on them. But he nods regardless, eyes glazed over, face still wet. His black hair is sticking to his face a little.

“If you manage to drive us to my apartment without either crashing or cumming, I’ll suck you off. What do you think about that?”

You can see his breath hitching. He doesn’t even need to answer. 

“Go get your coat.”

[asherloki]

supp :) im the person that requested the 12 & 35 prompts a bit ago

ofc u can do fluff and/or dom sherlock omg!

dom!reader is just my pref and idk the prompts were low-key giving beginning of smut to me, but i fr dont mind, u have full creative freedom and u obviously kno more than me bc of ur previous (amazing) writing :)

tysm for considering my request and have a great day/night! <3

My saviour

Bbc Sherlock x reader

Word count:- 3k

Warning:- light smut, but mostly fluff.

Prompt list here !

A/n:- ah finally I'm back! And I hope you like it!

" I'll take it" I said entering detective inspector lestrade's office. He and his whole team was clueless when it came to the mysterious disappearance of Mr Hazelwood. Even though I wasn't the first choice for the case, one can never be, when the greatest detective of the world is inspector's closest acquaintance. Well, acquaintance is past, now he's closest friend. Can you even imagine, the brilliant genius being his friend meant, almost no case for me to solve. I don't even have an assistant, there's definitely less opportunity for me to show I'm capable of solving mysteries too. Maybe not as brilliant as him, the one who stood infront of the inspector as I walked in, he turned to me and I must say, being a detective myself, it always made me like the wise people, and that meant... I fancied the detective, yes the one who's my professional rival.

"you don't understand," lestrade said looking at me, "I want Sherlock to solve it". This stupid comment made my blood boil, again, another oppertunity lost, ofcourse he can't let this interesting case go.

"no, I'm not taking it" I was stunned as Sherlock Holmes stated this, 'why not' I wondered but lestrade said it out loud,

"and why not?"

Sherlock sighed in response and rubbed his forehead with his fingers as if he was disturbed with lestrade constantly urging him to solve a case he doesn't want to, "it's too boring, rather easy for me Gavin".

'Same old genius' I thought as he mis pronounced lestrade's name again, I must say lestrade's frustration made me kinda giggle but I controlled it.

"If it's that easy then solve it" he still requested, almost begged him.

"you must use some of your brain too inspector" replied Sherlock and I agreed, "or" he said turning to me and my heart started to beat faster I could hear it in my ear, "this young lady is willing to take it, give her a chance".

What did I just heard, Sherlock siding me?

"ugh fine" saying so lestrade turned to me, "I assigne you, for the case now I want it to be solved in two weeks".

"TWO WEEKS?" I asked loudly enough for my voice to echo through the office, "isn't it too.. less inspector?" I asked as calmly as I could, you have to when you're still struggling to get known.

"yes, it's easy as Sherlock said, solve it, and if you need help I bet he can, he's already solved it in his fucking mind palace". I see where the anger was coming from, it was inspector being frustrated by the rejection of Mr brilliant.

"here you go" said Sherlock as he was about to pass by me, I wanted to thank him, or say something sweet infact nice but me being me, I regretted what I said, "scared?"

He raised his brows at my comment, I deserved it, then shaking his head he said, "we'll see how you solve it in two weeks without my help young lady".

I squinted my eyes at his challenge. But he went out of the office. I took the challenge in my mind, however I was unsure, I knew it's gonna be difficult, but I can't lose. It's my only chance.

_________________________________________

As I checked my progress after one week, I knew I'm gonna lose this challenge terribly. First, I had this rush which messed up my method and second, this Mr brilliant challenging me, that I can't do it on my own. Which was slowly turning out to be true. I got up from my sofa where I was lying and thinking, and grabbed my coat, my intention was to go to spot from where Mr Hazelwood was missing and inspect it thoroughly. So I took the bus, I know, poor little detective and went to the spot. While inspecting I felt someone watching over me. You know the feeling you get when you're being watched. I turned around and there were no one looking at me, yet again there was this feeling,

"told you, you need my help". I was startled as the heavy (sexy) voice said it, from behind. And no wonder I found Mr brilliant standing.

"what are you doing here, it's my case to solve" I knew I should've been a bit nice but it just came out to be very..

"rude" he replied, "very rude, I'm trying to help you".

"and why the fu..."

"gosh, kids these days" he said shaking his head.

"did you just called me a kid?"

"have you seen your height?"

"I'm sorry I'm not as tall as you and that doesn't mean.."

"as me? you're not even tall..AT ALL" his face remained expression less.

"who's being rude now, and how come you found me?"

"tracked your phone."

He said what? "you're spying on me?"

"a little girl, solving mystery on her own and at night, I must take care.."

"why do you care?" I might've said that but in my head I asked, 'you care? about me? why? who am I to you, genius?'.

"nothing," he got frustrated with me I knew, "if you change your mind, then... Baker Street" he pointed to the way he headed off to, leaving me on the street, alone, rather I pushed him away. I didn't want to, but it's me, why do you think I don't have an assistant? I work alone, so I don't look weak. Yet my phone's calendar told me it's one week to go, and if I can't solve.... No no I can and I have to... alone.

________________________________________

And then there left three days, till now I've matched some dots and it confirmed, he wasn't kidnapped, no one conspired against him, so whatever happened to him he was involved. Now this second part of the mystery held lots of troubles, and to solve them in three days was near impossible. My mind kept telling me to reach to him, you know, Mr brilliant. But it was embarrassing, however I had no other way,

"okay, time to throw my self respect" I said to myself gesturing with my hand as if throwing trash bag, "here I come, Sherlock Holmes".

All my way I just wished, "please stay at the flat, please stay at home, please detective" and there I was at his door.

I inhaled a deep breath and tapped my knuckles on his door.

"it's unlocked" replied a different voice, from inside.

'Oh no, John watson is there, I'm fucked' now I had to be embarrassed to both of these men, anyway I have threw my self respect away.

I opened the door and entered, the scene was... well... interesting I believe, John Watson was on his laptop and detective was sitting on his sofa, eyes closed, hands clasped.

"may I?" I asked Dr watson, because he looked a little sane.

"yes" he replied me and turned to Sherlock, "she came".

"who?" he enquired, his deep voice even deeper, eyes still closed and hands still clasped together, touching his chin.

"young lady". Replied John watson and Sherlock's eyes were flung open.

"is that what you call me?" I couldn't help but ask him.

"any problem?" he asked.

"I'm not here to argue with you, I want.." shit! now the embarrassing part, "I need, your help".

"oh I see, Mr Hazelwood?" I nodded, "still on it? wasn't it easy?"

"if it were then why would I ask your help?" he was getting on my nerves I tell you.

"fine sit" he said and I checked around me.

"where?" there wasn't any place near him but a sofa far in the other end of the living room.

"oh there?" I said pointing to it.

"no here" he brought out a rusty chair for me to sit.

"but it's for the clients" objected Dr watson, he's really sane.

"you know what? I'm fine just help me out". I need help from him and nothing else. Well sometimes I think if I could have something else but hey, professionalism.

"yes now let me explain, before that tell me how far you've got". I explained him everything and out of my utter surprise he got up from his sofa to his work board and offered me to sit there. Why's he being so... kind?

"now let me tell you what exactly happened" and he explained it was all Mr Hazelwood's plan, he intentionally disappeared, he's not dead but roaming around disguised.

"woah!" I couldn't help but praise him, it's not like I don't admire him. I do more than that, I respect him and perhaps... I like him a little too, "so how do we catch him?".

"it's not your duty to do so, you give all the evidence and theories to Scotland yard and order them to find him" he suggested.

"order them? me?" I am not very... influencial am I?

"yes, look they insulted you by not respecting your potential, now it's your time".

His motivational speech filled me with self respect again, the one I threw for him.

"yes" I said with such confidence and then I lost it again, "would you come with me... please?" now still cringe at the thought of me actually giving him puppy eyes and pleading but he agreed.

We entered lestrade's office, one day left till the deadline for me and I explained everything to him.

"seems like Sherlock helped you" said sally, stupid bi... no control yourself.

"I didn't, we met at the gate, I came here for the case I'm taking care of" lied the detective, I must admit, his lying skill was pretty good.

"anyway " said lestrade, "if you really did it on your own then.."

It felt so bad, to be taking credit of Sherlock's work, I didn't solve it all, I don't lie, so I,

"Sally is right" I admitted.

"no she isn't " Sherlock warned me.

"she is, she is lestrade. I solved half of it, it was solved by Sherlock Holmes himself. Yes he helped me, but I could've done it on my own, if I had some more time."

They were all silent for some time, I feared looking at Sherlock, he'd be fuming at me by now.

"I guess we were putting unnecessary pressure on you" said the inspector softly, "fine, you'll solve another one for us".

This second chance made my lips curve into a smile and Sherlock approved with a nod.

We both went out of there, and we laughed and talked all our way to his house, why was I going there? I don't know, I kept on walking with him and he never pushed me away. In between he'd often brush hair off my forehead or take my hand while crossing the road. I wonder why, not that I mind though.

We even went straight to his living room and it was awfully quiet.

"where is Dr watson?" I enquired.

"he's out, he messaged me, he's picking Rosie from school". Then he told me everything about john and his daughter, even his deceased wife Mary.

"Mary sounds like a wonderful, brave, strong woman" I replied.

"she was, she was strongest and absolute boss of us" he spoke in way that showed how much he admired her and how much John Watson and Rosie means to him.

"if only I were capable of doing things on my own" I didn't want to say so but it just came out, it sounded sad.

"why not? if you were weak you would've been living with your parents, you have family, house, friends in here yet you chose be on your own, you don't have any assistant, you solve cases by yourself too, how much more strong do you wanna be?" his words felt good didn't they?

"you helped me" I reminded him.

"only this time" accompanied by his beautiful smile.

"if I need help again in solving mystery? will you help me?" I was starting to let my guards down, I may have started to trust him.

"if you want me to, ofcourse" His smile never left his lips but my phone rang and it indicated it was time to leave his flat, for now.

"I have to go" I kind of asked his permission before going.

"if you have to then... be careful okay?" ain't he little too careful for me? I liked it, I like being taken care of, perhaps he's not wrong I really am a kid.

___________________________________

Days turned to months and one case turned to three. I took his help for three cases, call me dumb but I enjoy his company, for some reason I've noticed he does too.

After solving the third one I first went to his flat with him, both of us giggling at the fact that sally was so disappointed that I actually got recognised for my consecutive three wins, ofcourse with Mr brilliant by my side.

"it's late Sherlock, I have to go home" I said checking my watch.

"John's gonna be out tonight he has some patients to take care of, Rosie is with molly, so you can stay here tonight."

He might've said casually but it's HIM saying to ME. I already liked him, after these eight months of solving cases together I think I can say I... I'm in love with him. He's so caring for me, or maybe for all but I liked it.

"will you?" he asked again, popping my thought bubble.

"oh no nothing I was just ... fine I'll stay" I agreed, with my heart in my hand, he might spare his room for me but I wanted something else, a little kiss maybe... I think I fell in love, with the great detective.

"good" and with this he went inside, and came with his dressing gown draped over him, if I were a cat I would've drooled visibly, but I drooled, just no one could see it. He looked incredibly... domestic and it was hot. I just wanted to cuddle him, play with his hair, kiss him... oh! that was hot.

"Sherlock?" I asked.

"yes?" he answered, offering me something. It was a chocolate, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not a kid" I complaint "I'm a grown up adult in my early twenties."

"I know, but I thought you may like it." well I do like chocolates, so unwrapping it I took a bite. And it was a bad idea told by Mr brilliant's laughter, the chocolate melted and it covered my mouth.

"funny?" I teased.

"very" he said between laughters.

"don't laugh, I bite people" I joked, yet I do have this tendency to bite my close ones,

"oh do you? that's... unique". he replied.

"I'm gonna wash my lips wait" as I got up, I felt his arm catching me by wrist. My heart gave me a signal, it's your chance.

"what?" turning to him I said, I little seductively.

He said nothing but took some of the chocolate from my lips with his finger and put it in his mouth, licking his finger clean.

My senses went wild. I stood frozen.

"you know what?" he asked me, and my mind told me, 'say something, don't look dumb'.

"wh-what?" I said.

"I've always wanted you this close. Never knew if I'd ever have you. I'm.." he trailed off " you're young and beautiful, I'm just an old detective"

'youre anything but old, actually even if you are older than me, I like it, I love it, you're older and sexier, caring as well" I thought.

"I just wanted to make sure you're taken care of. and I..." he trailed off.

"say it" I wanted to hear the words he couldn't let himself speak.

"I love you, with all my heart, have always loved you, and will always do, I sometimes went to Scotland yard casually for maybe to get a glimpse of you, coming to the office, smiling, all jolly, like a ray of sunshine " his lips curved into a smile reminiscing it perhaps, "since the day your eyes fell on me I have loved you, for who you are, you never had to be anything you're not, I love for all the things you are and all the things you're not, I'd see you noticing me too and you're disgust was clear".

"Sherlock" I started, "it wasn't disgust, a pretence, so you don't find out I like you too, infact now I can say I love you and not for your intelligence I admire that but I love you for being a good human to me, I can see, you love me, you care, you protect and you even adore me."

"you know?" he was surprised, "well then, I'm glad, may I kiss you?"

I nodded, and he crashed his lips on mine, letting the kiss go hungrier until he pulled away and asked,

"should we? you want to? with me?"

I understood what he meant,

"yes, I do"

"I'm not that experienced" he replied.

"neither am I"

we giggled at our lesser experience, we both are so engulfed into mystery solving that sex or love barely crossed our mind. I know not how he pulled me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, but we did and we went to his room kissing still.

One can say I was nervous and I knew so was he but he didn't seem so. The way he marked my neck and the way his fingers worked the buttons of my shirt. I was all red being naked infront of him but it melted as he put off his shirt too, I couldn't help but run my hand all over his chest, bringing him closer to me.

"bite me" he ordered.

"I thought you'd never ask" with a smirk I pecked his bottom lip, his moan said he liked it. That hour of him being inside of me was wonderful. He was sweet, gentle, he knew I was absolutely inexperienced. And my first time turned out to be the beautiful one. "I can stay like this forever" I said in between whimpers.

"I wouldn't mind" he replied, fastening his pace and us reaching our climax together. As we layed down on his bed I kept on thinking about how he said he loved me, and he always will.

"what's the matter?" he asked seeing me lost in my thoughts. I knew he cannot actually let himself love someone, maybe it was a moment of weakness for him, but if only he knew it was more than that for me. It was not just sex for me, I made love with him.

“You’re all talk. Why don’t you show me what you really mean?”

I said getting up a little aggressively. He looked confused at my behaviour.

"But It was the truth, why do you think I'd help you, care for you, love you?"

I think he does have a point.

"and sex never amazed me, I don't bother about it, and my past experience was no strings attached kind of sex but now..." he trailed off, "now after you came, I resisted as long as I could the urge to kiss your pretty face, because I know what people could think, that the great detective found a young girl to sleep with, the young lady detective slept with Sherlock Holmes to get recognised, that's why I never opened up about it". His eyes were teary and so were mine, he cared about me as much as he cared about himself.

"if I say" I spoke, "I don't care, and that I love you, I want to be with you Sherlock, then?"

Sherlock came a little closer to me, trying hard not to cry, "then you're gonna get me as your assistant all my life."

Saying this he hugged me and we both cried, tears of joy I'd like to think. But since then I moved in with him, and john and Rosie, I love this family and our parents may have thought this marriage is a little... never mind, they accepted, the age gap wasn't a barrier at all. And we lived happily ever after.

[ficreadergirl]

Welcome to my Sweetheart

Ep2

"What's wrong with this computer?" you asked in frustration, holding up the screen for Dick to look at.

"Sorry, Y/n." Dick said. "There seems to be some trouble." he explained while trying to fix the problem on the screen.

"So, why don't you bring coffee for both of us while I try to solve this problem?" he suggested.

"That sounds great, Dick. Thanks." you replied as you left the room. While waiting for the coffee to brew, you wondered if Dick still remember what happened between you and him a month ago. A blush crept across your cheeks when you thought about that memory. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts, and focused on your task.

When you returned ten minutes later with two cups of coffee, Dick was still trying to fix the computer. He didn't look up as you set the cups down on the desk. "This isn't working, Y/n." he complained as he stood up. "We need to buy a new laptop or something." he said with a frown. You sighed heavily and rolled your eyes.

"Like bossy was dying to buy us new machines." you snorted sarcastically.

"Why can't this man let us do our job with actually working machines?" he asked exasperatedly.

"I'm not sure." you responded with a shrug. "Let me give him a call." you added after a few seconds.

"Sure." Dick answered, smiling slightly.

You picked up the phone and dialled your chief's number. You waited for a couple of moments before someone answered. "Hello?" he asked.

"Chief! Hi, it's me, Y/n. We are having some problems here. Our computers are not working prop-"

"Can it wait? Can it wait till tomorrow? I'm kinda busy right now."

"Right, yeah, sorry." you said awkwardly. "Just wondering if we could order another set of laptops tomorrow. I think it will take-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see if I can get you guys something tomorrow. Now go do whatever it is that you need to do. Bye." he hung up on you before you could finish speaking. You frowned in annoyance. That guy. What kind of job is he even doing? you thought angrily. You turned around to face him, raising your brows questioningly.

"Well? How was he?" he smirked.

"Ugh!" you growled, rolling your eyes. "He wasn't very helpful." you said as you sat down in front of his desk. "What does he think we are doing in here everyday? I have work to do!" You started ruffling through the papers on his desk, looking for some paperwork.

"Y/n, relax." he chuckled softly. "Calm down." He walked over and sat next to you.

"Why is he even our chief? He does what exactly?" you grumbled. "I hate him."

"Come on, Y/n," he laughed. "Calm down."

"I hate this city sometimes Dick. When you're involved with some bastards you can be even a king." you scoffed.

"Gotham wasn't so different actually." he stated.

"If you expect me to feel surprised then you're gonna be disappointed." you replied sarcastically.

"But still you hate it when stuff like this happen in your city. The city of your childhood." he said quietly. You looked at him sadly. He wasn't looking at you. He was staring off into space, lost in his thoughts. You placed your hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Dick." you murmured.

"Me too." he replied and finally turned to you, placing his hand over yours on his shoulder. You gazed deep into his eyes. You could tell that he was thinking about something else. Something really important to him. He seemed to be struggling with something. You gently moved your hand from his shoulder and rested your hand on top of his.

"What's wrong?" you asked softly.

"Don't you feel hungry too? What should we eat?" he replied, changing the subject. You raised your eyebrows at him. "What?"

"Should we eat burgers? What do you think?" he asked with a small smile. You grinned back. Obviously he didn't wanna tell you about what bothers him.

"How about Mexican?" you suggested.

"Sounds good." he replied enthusiastically. Both of you got up off his desk and headed towards the door.

Other eps

[therealslimsanji]

I support Palestine. I condemn the terrible actions of Israel's government has and is perpetrating towards Palestine over the years. And yet, for the life of me, I still wholeheartedly believe that Taz is not a genocide supporter and it pains me so much all the hate he's getting. My reason is this:

I'm from a country on the opposite side of the world from Palestine. I'm on the autist spectrum, and although high-functioning, I still have A LOT of difficulty communicating. I often rehearse conversations when alone, in some social situations I'm paralyzed and tense due to a constant fear of needing to solve social puzzles that actually aren't there (I can only describe it as "navigating" through mine field). I'm receiving therapy, and I've been progressing, but I still have a long way to go.

Why does this situation with Taz pains me so? Because if it were me in his place, I would also be mercilessly torn to pieces. I'm not a vocal person on any social media, I browse their content but all my profiles have little to no posts or activities and I'm not comfortable sharing info about me in bios. If I were to say something vague that could be misinterpreted or if I ever donated to the Red Cross or if I haven't donated much, I would also be accused of supporting or being indifferent to Genocide; and there would be no possible way for me to prove this is not the case because, like I mentioned earlier, I tend to be very private and not vocal on social media, and the people accusing me would only have my social media profiles as their source of info about me.

There's no way I can prove to anyone that I've cried after seeing all the footage of palestinians being murdered in cold blood. There's no way I can prove to anyone that I can't donate much because I'm already struggling economically (my parents are supporting me, I'm deeply grateful for that but I really want to live independently). And there's no way I can prove that I haven't been able to do more to support Palestine because my country is also experiencing so much injustice and tragedy.

They wouldn't have any mercy on me. I would be torn to pieces.

First off I wanna say that you did AMAZING here in terms of communicating yourself and your thoughts. I, too, rehearse conversations and have high anxiety about things I say getting misinterpreted and hurting someone's feelings. Before I make a phone call, I will go over what I'm gonna say over and over and over with myself first and even then once an actual person answers, I suddenly forget everything I rehearsed. But you did very good here 😊

Secondly, you and I are in the same boat. I'm pro-Palestine. I'm also in support of Taz because MY gut tells me he's not a supporter of genocide. As I've said before, he's probably donated to the BRC many times before and with all the other disasters and shit going on in the world, money to the BRC will also go into aiding victims of the recent earthquakes I'm sure. Among other things.

There are children-babies-caught in the middle of all this. On both sides. Women and their children who never asked for any of this. Why should they not receive help? It's so amusing to me that when the BLM movement was at its peak you had tons of people screaming "ALL lives matter!!" Do they, though? How can you think about the slaughter of children on either side and only sympathize with one group because the government of the other group is corrupt? I'm fully aware of how much worse the Palestinians are suffering. But neutrality can give the poor innocents a chance to survive and get tf out.

But back to Taz, I'm standing by my current judgement of him being innocent until he's undoubtedly proven guilty. The vague tweet about differences of opinions was so obviously in response to his wanting to support the BRC NOT genocide. Like, how can you call yourself a fan of his but turn on him so fast?

I'm also standing by him taking the tweet down and locking up his social media because of management advice. Since he's fairly new to fame, he mostly posted what he THOUGHT was the best response not realizing that it was vague enough to be completely misconstrued. Taz is a very smart man and is probably doing a lot of reflecting right now. I have a lot of confidence in him being a good person and learning from this mistake.

[narcoticwriter]

itto

Thanks for the ask! I may or may not go hogwild, so it'll be under the cut:

Favorite Thing About Them?

How much this guy cares.

Someone's getting mistreated? He's backing them up.

A village of oni needs help? He's got it, no questions asked.

The Arataki Gang? He took them all in and accepts them as they are.

Stuck in a cavern? He'll punch his way out. Literally.

Youkai wanna have a festival? Well, he's on it and he'll do it all himself?

You graduate? He's arranging a whole celebration for your achievements.

He just cares so much about everything and he does so with an intensity that is fierce and an intensity that you can feel.

I love him.

Least Favorite Thing About Them?

I'll be the first to say that I would like for him to think on occasion.

The intensity with which he acts on things without reasoning through them gets him into more trouble than not.

I guarantee you that if he actually took things into consideration, he'd have had a bit more success in his life.

He can still do the damn thing, but at least he wouldn't be running in blind.

Favorite Line?

Boy, do I have a lot of them. I'll do the top three starting from the bottom:

"Hey, this is the mighty Arataki "Above All, Bold-Blooded" Itto you're talking to here! I'm a say-what-I-mean, mean-what-I-say, might-sound-mean-but-I-say-it-anyway kinda guy. And I say, we're gonna have this duel!" (The delivery)

"What can you possibly find inside? It can't be a living person, can it, hahaha... Whoa!" (Again, the delivery)

Arataki Itto: Hello (The line that reeled me in)

BONUS: "If you wanna take my Vision, you're gonna need a lot more people. 'Cause I'm Arataki Itto, The Supreme, The One and Oni!" (Character Demo, this shit dragged me into Genshin Impact in the first place)

BROTP?

Itto, Thoma, and Ayato are already a given and pretty much the closet thing to canon but hear me out:

Itto and Bennett.

They would get along so well because Bennett would be like 'oh no my bad luck' and Itto would be like 'that's nonsense because you're like one of the best guys I've met'.

They'd go adventuring too.

ALSO: Itto and Eula. They're not as similar as you'd think, but we already KNOW that Itto wouldn't tolerate people treating Eula bad over something she can't control because he knows all about that.

Itto and Zhongli but I'm already doing something with that one-

OTP?

You see, the only one I can see for me personally is Itto and Sara, but even then, I'd want them to be friends first.

The dynamics of them both being youkai as well as their own individuals struggling around that identity have so much potential, I'm telling you.

Other than that, I haven't seen any, but I will say that there's a case for Itto and Yoimiya. Just a bit. It's not my favorite, but I see where people are coming from with that one.

So in general, even if you did see me in my Ittosara phase, I'm over it and just want people to be friends with each other I guess.

NOTP?

. . . I don't have any? I think? Besides the obvious ones involving literal children?

I don't actively decry any ships that have some basis, really.

Random Headcanon?

You cannot tell me that this man wouldn't try snorting Pixy Sticks at least once.

Unpopular Opinion?

I really don't get why people only see him as an idiot.

He has his moments, sure, but in multiple instances, he's shown an incredible aptitude for reading certain situations and managing to solve the problem as well as gain the respect of others.

There's also the horniness and while I am the last person to bash people for anything of the sort, that seems to be the majority of the content for him.

I like digging deep into characters and really forming attachments to them based on the attributes I see and on occasion, I'm disheartened by the fact that I seem to be the only one who does.

But hey, who else is going to do the work if not me?

Song I Associate With Them?

Oh, this is interesting. I obviously associate his theme with him, but I feel as if that's too easy . . .

Got it. Escape From The City or City Escape from the Sonic Adventure 2 OST. The lyrics, the music, the sound . . .

It's definitely Itto.

Favorite Picture of Them?

I'm sure you can understand why.

Ask

[butchpeabody]

in lieu of drawing a ref (hard) (boring) im gonna list some stuff abt my funne tome oc radrabzz...yippie!

white hat hacker obviously. due to the period accurate Rona Virus shes stuck doing coding classes at home and takes the insane pay to fund hrt and her tuition. she does other small coding jobs on the side, maybe working on a game of her own

has a roommate irl! havent thought much of what to do with it but she miight become relevant in my brain world

she was going into tome literally so hard trying to be like okay just gotta do my job and not talk to anyone. and then alpha showed up and her being utterly interaction starved due to the once again aforementioned rona shes like oh ok we r best friends now. dandy alliance having her is really fun for her

she REALLY likes nylocke. in a platonic way ofc (she is a lesbian) but thats her emotional support funny dude

i do think the nature of tome characters especially in the rpg is like. to have a Rival. i was joking abt it earlier but thats like 100% rockoon in my head. theyre both silly dudes but she is genuinely kind of angry at him for cheating at the game with so much cash on the line and getting her so close to like...just straight up being kicked out of her new friendgroup it seems?? ill have to see more of rpg rocky before i decide how this develops but i have THINGS cooking in my brain

as a side effect of the last one she does not use her Hacking Abilities in battle against anyone who isnt actively cheating themselves. game is weird to navigate sometimes because of it (the way she set up her skill class is weird reflective of mine ((i shouldve gone brawler HELP))) so shes not really. strong at first and struggles a LOT

a lot of the struggles in the PREVIOUS point however are solved when she gets the bomb rush spell. that wasnt even an intentional rockoon parallel, when i got it ingame it just did a BUNCH of damage when i needed it. but now i'm rolling with it

second gen immigrant to the us from jamaica! im still working out the family tree (her mom n dad are already concepted characters in her main story but i gotta expand) but she has family back there she visits as well. was raised in florida and moved to socal for school (ended up staying there after the rona happened bcus she already had an apartment)

her irl name is raeni, she still doesnt give it out ingame but either goes by hatty or rab online

[f0xd13-blog]

Specially coz they make it seem like the options wasn't chosen by them literally planted by them so wtf are we the public even choosing ? So silly

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Well it's ok music screwed it so it kind of had to heal it also... idk why i was crazy enough to think wrestling would solve this. Anyways turning th entire roster a bit of me works as much for understandment of my identity as robalia and madonna did... the ddumbsters still have to be displaying fascist overtones within their politics... it be like communism of an identity facepalm instead of being themselves and finding one person to be the romany noooo they had to share a dna between themselves because that makes sense and it ain't just confunsing people and taking into account native americans are being used to replace us that really really helped ... gotta be from the rocks mind or cm punk wtv they are all the same... fascists never know they are fascist anyways they believe they have the right mindset right? So explain it to me how in the hell are you gonna prove we are all on the same level if you need to turn eveyboy into me? Crickets

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Stupid hippies

This people arae just those sort of hippies i thought it was over long time ago... pseudo narure shit and then it's just self centerism... they go to one natural resource and thing it is the shit! Babes brasil has more natural resources than away and you bet those corals you are putting don contribute shit compared to amazonia... so how stupid are you? It be pure hippie shit but make patriotical and not in a good way.. it's like "we havee nature tooOOOOooOooo pls care more about it or i'll make youuUuuU" bunch of children!

Anyways the wrestling is even worst coz it legit would take them one minute to do a charlie chaplin montage and add the detail of it being romany.. since he was the 1 ever stunt worker and wwe is all about that they would only win!!! But no... didn't even need to make a romany star... but the thang is they have INFERIORITY COMPLEX! They ve destroyed their own natives and once again whos to blame? The gypsies and the attention they get of course... so they have to make stars that are clearly associated with natives and expect me to work with that againts fascism... of course i still think it's purpose in fact. Disgraceful un important people not for who they are but because of how they behave and disney is ashamed of your behaviour obviously because have you seen him not distinguish pocahontas from esmeralda you wackos?

Do you want me to do a movie about jewish pocahontas killing arabic babies? Coz it's on my plans... revenged will come

Want disrespect? Lez go jewish trash

And what i'm gonma do is now reality so think bout it coz most of you legit be native killing palestinians, people from suddan and congo it ain't like that LIE that gypsies aree jewish andd behaving like us

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Hmm so lez see what native american serious catastrophe or massacre/genocide can i change the reality of or invert roles... hmmm...

Know the difference... joker wasn't technically killer but a robber ;)

Original G's most be like fuck.. wtf did they do to the meaning of eveyryhing around wrestling? You put those payos and jews thinking they can think and understand other peoples struggles and then it's this... complete disrespect! Just wait and see what i will do to your indigenous nexxt.. actually let me just grab negative history about them coz i bet there is... like the way they used to kill people just for being white... lez do a movie or a story bout that perspective

Oh what you the storyline ??? The thing is jews are you fam and i need to deal with them because of it even tho that is completely disrespectful... but you made peace with them for us WHILE THEY STILL BE KILLING US soooo whitties are my family also, they are includedd into romany culture so now i'm going to give native characteristics to an indo european and make them the victims that they also was because some of them only immigratedd there right? That didn't stopped natives from killing them so lez make a story about that with white people dressed as natives getting killed by natives dressed as white people... y'all GONNA LOVE IT

They'll only understand it when it starts hurting

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Oh your jews can"/ even be heel? Ok babes... my white people can't as well coz they be my fam you know so wait for the amount of media i'm going to create with native americans as the baddies and indo europeans as gwed people... wut??? You gotta see inddivirduality babes! And we are fam!!

So my movie will be like this jews kill muslims than natives get like wowwwww we primates and smell blood so they go there and also kill them and indo europeans be like "no wtf??" And save us

oops i'm actually not lying this legit happened i can't even do dis hold on let me think..

So indo erupeans are like in europe and then native americans come to destroy this continent after awhile jews got disgusted by the unhuman ways they was killimg white people so they came and helped us be free from nasty native americans.... yups this is better... more innacurtae than ever before, more offenssive than it could ever be... luvs it.

Oh then i'm going to use my native american identity to include white people irl.... so they can all dress like them in fact i will be doing a clothing line wity yoour iutfits and say it is romany

Like wuuuuut my G? That shit is romany not native american "what the fuck are you talking about 💀???"

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See i even have similar outfitsthat can prove it

Then i'll start a music industry of native american music but say it is chinese... it will get really big then i'll include white people as our version of your jewish family and say they invented it of course... everything native american was invented by europeans, while the wrestling your nazi friends destroyed in europe rises also i'll also put muslims dressed as jews and saying eveything jewish is actually muslim so the kippahs and those already stolen outfits will get re stolen again and the arabic people will all be jew just in theory because their bible or wtv the name is will be the quran anyways of course... then we will have indians replace native americans and aftter all all their culture is hindu... like the ideas babes? I think it's secsy and we are all the same right? So...

Don be sad!! At least my movies and media is going to be watchable not like the cinematic trash you pull out nowadays

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Imagine being online for one year to try to get rid of fascists and they only pocket shit like even the judgement day was my idea

HOLD ON!! they've just denied sasha big money that they are giving to punk and roman? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no shade to roman every shade to punk but sasha is bigger money... se how they put this facada they are super feminist and than still create this sort of differences just coz of racism and mysogenisisticssss ... PUNK IS BRINGING MORE MONEY TI THEE COMPANY? really? Ahahah

When you also be a monke, and a white monke be like

Thanks for proving wwe wouldn't exist without gypsies... without me

You've created an enemy forever... now for each post one of your bland "superstars" specially the jews will get a comment

Back to having to read this. The world and celebs are reading this... you see what this makes? Now i'm getying called crazy again and making shit up right "heros" monke face seth rollins is fucked!!!!

Insane people joking around serious stuff being racist af!! And then using my ideas for monke faced jews andd anoretic women... while i be literally with no money for months just living out of what my mother can help me with. Insane!!!

Actually this just gave me an idea... what about if i go be a wrestler someone else and usee this robery as storylines? Pretty embarrasing

[spiritofcamelot]

Okay, after the first three episodes, I'd like to pencil in some theories based on what we've seen so far.

Riz is going to burnout and have a breakdown. There's no way this kid can keep up with anything. He's gonna be trying to do anything and everything for his friends and forget to do things for himself. I also think he's going to find the rogue teacher by realising that it was someone they didn't realise was a teacher.

Kristin I'm most excited to see care for her younger brother. I think that's going to really be the impetus for her to change, because now she sees consequences for her actions and a clear chance to show how she's changed and learned.

Fabian is absolutely going to throw a shrimp party. I can't quite decide what his big arc is going to be. Maybe as simple as learning to be an adult, but I feel like Lou would have something more complex planned.

Adaine's character arc I know is gonna be the hardest to watch. Genius, but stessed about things outside of her control. I'm excited to see her getting a job, but there's absolutely going to be times where she has to choose between the job and investigating something with her friends. I do wonder if she's going to end the season by willingly going to Fallinel to learn more about life there, but still with the intention of coming back for senior year.

Gorgug, I hope, will just switch classes to artificer. (In game, not mechanically.) His arc might just be about artificer struggles, but that seems too straightforward. I do wonder if he is going to travel in time though as part of solving the time travel mystery. Oh, and I think he's gonna use his artificer skills to fix or dismantle GRIX.

Fig and this rival(?) musician are going to be so fun to watch. Obviously her arc is going to have to do with whatever is inside her that she accepted. Maybe it's luck based. I think it is affecting Gilear, but not as simple as just swapping luck. I think there's something to the fact that this has apparently been something she's ignored for a long time. More time travel? I also can't wait to see Emily seeing consequences of her disguise self choices, but still continuing to make wild choices.

Time shenangians are already beginning. It's very interesting seeing hints of things which are fun (Arthur and Ayda time travelling) and things which seem wrong (Porter saying Gorgus should've come to him at the start of jr year...which it is, and student council not having existed before... and yet there's an encumbant position) and things which may just be continuity errors they are ignoring (Zelda having graduated although The Seven would take place this year.) I have a feeling the ratkilers are involved in this somehow.

Which, speaking of, the ratkillers are totally going to be a party of 6 which all reflect the bad kids and personally bug each of them in some way. Well, Riz and Adaine have the possibility of really liking their counterpart if they meet them while working to solve somthing.

My junior year predictions and hopes

Reasonable predictions

The night yorb will only be mentioned as a past adventure which the PCs slowly add details to every time it comes up

Ally will roll a clutch nat 20 at a vital story moment

Adaine and Aelwyn will grow as sisters, but still not necessarily have a healthy relationship

Riz will outright say that he is ace, and maybe even aro

Battle at a Sig Figs concert

Journey to another part of Spyre

Kristin and Tracker take "time apart" like a soft break up

Something will happen to split up the party that is practically out of their control and they have to work two ends of a mystery or something. A fun mix of players knowing all the info while the characters don't.

There will be a battle either started by or incorporating time shenanigans.

Fig will use disguise self in an unhinged way and then Brennan will yes and it and make her face the consequences while everyone at the table looses it

Hopes

We see Gorgug's birth parents briefly, even better if they are hanging with the Thistlesprings. More adult friendships that have survived years apart!

Actually see some classes briefly

Really cool use of dome projections and other immersive experiences for the players

Fun homebrew mechanics which catch the players by surprise and make them think harder

Kristin will give an actually really inspiring speech

The intrepid heroes will find an excuse to do some themed dressing up, whether it's for prom or for a heist. Maybe this time Brennan will be told in time so he can join in.

Off the wall bonkers guesses

There will be some sort of cameo from one or more of the Seven. Might be especially fun if it was an audio message with some projection art.

The barbarian teacher will actually win Fig over

A totally normal prom at the end of the year

Kristin will end up creating a second diety without giving up Cassandra, or Cassandra will become a multifaceted diety

Fabian will drop out of school to take to the high seas

Gilear will level up

But really, whatever happens, I trust all seven of those amazing storytellers to take me for an absolute thrill ride.

[mjlol52]

I Love thinking about like Doppel Culture

like sure in arc one its only been around for a little while and mostly unnoticed too cuz obviously no one is gonna let their gems run out like that but then iroha comes and it happens to her and then we have the whole magius and eve stuff but like post arc one we still have the system going right, and like

that Has to change how they look and operate in the world compared to normal magical girls like for one you dont need to worry abt your gem darkening anymore and if ur super struggling in a fight if u last long enough without breaking ur gem you can pull out your witch real quick for an ultimate move lmao

and theres loads more to consider too like imagine how vulnerable local girls must feel when they go outside kamihama's borders

imagine the like first few casualties that come from people trusting the doppel system to catch them but they were just outside the border and fully witches out, which id imagine would absolutely lead to clear obvious marked out boundaries so all the girls know where they need to be careful

and then imagine like outside magical girls visiting there would be So Much Culture Shock like your patrolling with your friend while ur visiting her and u see her gem is super dark so you get super worried like oh my god!! and shes just like oh that? yeah dw abt it its all good and ur just like holy shit ur almost dead what do you mean??? and then you witness her just break reality real quick while her body contorts and breaks the physical laws while her witch comes out to play for a bit and then she goes back to normal and comes out the other side completely nonchalant about it and ur just like In Shock Like What LMAO

it also could lead to weird things like a grief seed economy or something like if no one really Needs them they could be treated as luxury items or valuable trading tools or if u wanna be optimistic they could be used for emergencies or charity for out of town magical girls to give them to those who aren't fortunate enough to live in the Doppel Town

its just super interesting like they basically solved the whole issue and sure its only a stopgap measure and not actually freedom from the cycle and yeah they probably need therapists / need to support each other cuz I'm sure the psychological effects from embodying your despair could pile up (and this isn't even going into at all like the doppel syndrome weirdness from the anime that'd be a whole nother thing) like it could cause some weird problems imagine a girl addicted to doppeling or something thatd be fucked

but i just think the whole idea and process and world is so interesting i really love how rich and interesting a world magia record is especially with how much detail each individual girl gets

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝘽𝙊𝙔𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘿 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗 (18+)

∘ request(s): I am in love w all of you and i'm getting to the others when they fit :)

my personal favorites:

∘ pairing: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: nsfw (minors dni), smut, choking, fingering, slight domination

∘ links: 𐐪 ao3 𐑂 𐐪 previous part 𐑂 𐐪 submit an edgy!karl edit 𐑂

a/n: my incentive for getting these done (when they're fuffy) is listening to 21st Century Vampire in a dark room for four days, in case you guys were wondering.

Your tongue felt like sandpaper as you chewed the inside of your cheek. "No, uh… I think I need some time…" you trailed, your eyes flashing to his. "... To think…"

He nodded slightly, taking one last look at you before slipping out your front door, the lock clicking shut behind him.

Your heart hammered in your ears. You took a seat on your couch, carding your fingers through your hair as his face flashed into your mind, the somewhat confused expression boring a hole in your heart. You’d led him on, you knew it. It wasn’t that you weren’t into him, but the cold fear of what the two of you had vanishing after assigning labels flushed through your body. What if it was only as strong as it was because you weren’t stuck to each other? Was the fact that you were choosing to sleep with him and him alone not enough? What more could he want?

Then it dawned on you; what more would it be? The two of you were already attached at the hip a ridiculous amount of time, you already knew more about him than you cared to, and obviously, the two of you were already past the awkwardness of building a sexual relationship.

So what the fuck was wrong with you? Would it be so awful to be his girlfriend?

You avoided him for a few weeks, your mind burning with guilt and indecisiveness. As soon as you had straightened your thoughts and favored one reality over another, it was like buyer’s guilt persuaded you the other way.

Lectures were quiet, even lonesome for you without him around. That would add to your Pro Karl list; he was great company, especially in public, when he knew people were watching the two of you. Would that element be different when the two of you were dating?

You hadn’t realized how apparent your moping had become until your roommate brought it up one night. You were tucked into your favorite spot on the couch, mind racing with how to solve your problems. “I called Karl. I’m sick of this weepy, self-loathing bullshit. Man up and tie him down. I know you want to,” she stated bluntly, tugging open the curtains in the room to get to the windows. The night breeze wafted in as if it’d been knocking against the glass for an hour. “He’s outside.”

You blinked at her as she pulled you out of your seat. “He’s what?”

She pulled you behind her, slipping on her jacket. “I’m going to Clay’s. Work this shit out and let me know if I need to vacate for the week,” she jested, making you roll your eyes as she pushed you out in front of her. As she headed down the stairwell, Karl was on his way up, greeting her brightly as he usually did.

He smiled at you gently as he stopped in front of you, fondness and allure playing in his eyes. Even if you looked disheveled, he still looked upon you with pride and admiration. His hair was longer, but despite that, he looked exactly the same way you’d left him. You cleared your throat, the wind bringing his scent towards you. “We need to talk,” you mumbled. “You were right.”

He pressed his back against the dividing wall, tucking a cigarette behind his ear that he had between his fingers and looking out over the railing behind you. The city lights reflected in his eyes. "I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything. I just..." He looked at you softly. "Fuck, I really like you."

You crossed your arms, hands rubbing against the sleeves of your hoodie to generate more warmth. You were so torn. Most of you, wanted to wrap yourself up in him and give in to his offer while the ugly, nagging thoughts in your brain told you to run. "What about after we cool down then?" You asked, making one of his eyebrows feign to furrow. "Are you still going to be attracted to me after I'm… domesticated?"

He smiled slightly. "I'll probably be attracted to you even when your tits sag to your waist, baby." You rolled your eyes at his joke and he crossed the space between the two of you, shoes dragging against the cement. He pushed his fingers into your hair, settling his hand against your neck so his thumb brushed against your jaw soothingly. You leaned into his touch. "I just want to be locked down by you," he chided. "... Officially."

You let out a small wheeze. "You're not gonna be into my friends next week, are you?" It was a joke, but it came out as more of an insecurity.

He fought not to grin. "You're fuckin' serious?" He used his other hand to separate your arms gently, stepping into your embrace. "When I'm with other people, all I can think about is how they're not you."

He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, eliciting a pleasant sigh from between your lips. You tightened your arms around him, basking in the warmth of his body as you threaded your hands beneath his jacket. "Even your mom?"

He snorted. "Don't make this weird," he jested, making you laugh softly. He pulled your body completely against him, digging his face into the crook of your neck as you sighed tiredly, your cheek pressing against his shoulder.

The bathwater was warm against your skin, Karl’s arm wrapping around your shoulder to pull you closer to him in the small tub, making you giggle slightly. You paused what you were doing as he dug his nose into the crook of your neck. You struggled to shrug from his grasp. “If you don’t stop, I’m gonna mess up your nails,” you wheezed, before he surrendered, leaning his back against the porcelain.

It was a brighter color than he usually wore, but the hue still gave him the dark appearance he prided himself on. Goosebumps peppered your skin as he drew absent-minded shapes into your back with the pad of his finger. “I missed you,” he hummed. Despite having your back to him and concentrating on not smearing his nail polish, you could hear the content smile in his voice. “And now, I’m your boyfriend,” he mocked, eliciting a snort from you.

You screwed the cap on the polish when you were satisfied with your work. “I feel like a middle school girl every time you say that,” you grumbled, jokingly.

He snickered. “Me too.” You could feel him watching you carefully as you blew on the nail polish, his fingers to your lips to test their dryness. He curled around you again, pressing his lips to your neck, his other arm curling around your torso. His breath was sweet against your skin, mixing with the steam from the water. “Stop it, or I’ll get too excited,” he groaned, making you smile.

You moved his hand to rest in the crook of your neck, fingers threatening to demonstrate his true strength. He swapped hands, his fingers dipping beneath the water towards your heat. His other hand wrapped around your neck, waiting for your first moans until applying pressure. Your head tilted back against his shoulder as he rubbed circles against your bundle of nerves, a sigh of pleasure spilling past your lips as his teeth nipped gently at your shoulders.

Your knees peeked out above the surface of the water as you leaned further back against him. He pressed his lips to the skin behind your ear. “Look at my girlfriend, so needy so quickly,” he moaned in your ear, slipping one of his fingers into you. His name fell from your lips as if your life depended on you repeating it. He pumped another finger into you, basking in the way you reacted to him. You hated how well he knew your body.

Before you knew it, your back was pressing into your sheets, Karl hovering over you. You dug your fingers into his hair, tugging lightly on his locks as he pushed himself into you with a moan. His hips rolled against yours, his forearms resting on either side of your head, pressing his lips to your shoulder. It wasn’t long until he was thrusting in and out of you, teeth printing his mark on your skin. “All mine,” he moaned as your fingernails pressed into his skin.

You smirked slightly, rutting your hips against his. “Oh, right there, Todd,” you moaned almost pornographically. Karl stiffened slightly, struggling not to laugh as you giggled.

His teeth dug into your neck, shutting you up with a moan. He pushed your hands above your head, intertwining his fingers with yours while his other hand moved to wrap around your throat. “He fucking wishes,” he hissed through gritted teeth, making your toes curl. His pace slowed, focused on driving himself deeper into you, reaching your sweet spot with each of his thrusts.

You moaned his name, pressing your lips to his shoulder as he dug his nose into the crook of your neck. He muttered pet names into your ear, coaxing you over the edge with his declarations of ownership over you.

The next morning, you wrapped your arms around Karl’s waist, pressing your cheek against the middle of his shoulder blades as he stirred whatever he was making. Your hands looped into the front pocket of his hoodie. The kitchen was humming with life as the radio hummed softly in one of the corners and the two of you lightly conversed.

You moved to lean against the counter beside him, attempting not to completely gush at the sight of his messy hair and lazy smile as he made you breakfast. “So, do I get to wear your letterman’s jacket now?” You joshed, making him smirk.

He flipped a pancake. “I mean, you can if you’d like, I think it’s at my mom’s,” he answered, soft tones of sleep still hanging in his voice. “You can twin with your pal, Todd. We went to the same high school.”

Your head tilted at the news, mouth slightly ajar. “No way. Please tell me you’re joking.”

He shrugged. “We lived down the road from each other growing up,” he recounted, making you chuckle at the irony.

You wet your lips slightly. “Now that we’re official, do you wanna have a threesome with him?” You asked sarcastically.

“If Todd’s dick comes anywhere near me, I’m moving to Iceland,” he finalized, making you laugh.

Tag List: @mrwinemaker @madsbbg @idiotinnit @xxtakechancesxx @chxrrymilkshake @westyywifee @kiritokunuwu @theholycakehole

[dittomander]

What Pokémon do you think the four amigos would start with

hey anon? I want you to know that this is literally one of my favorite asks i've ever gotten. I love it so much I'm answering it twice - once on the assumption that we're restricted to actual Starter Pokemon, and once selecting from any unevolved Pokemon:

Starter Pokemon Only

Gabe, Mateo, and Naomi: Chespin, Fennekin, and Froakie, respectively. the Kalos starters' final forms are based around the concept of the fighter/mage/thief trio, which I'd say fits the vibes of the amigos minus Elena pretty well. the typing also fits - Naomi with a water starter is kind of a gimme, and the more grounded Gabe vs. the more impulsive Mateo with grass and fire respectively also works well (as does Mateo's starter having a type advantage over Gabe's, given that whole S3 arc with Gabe struggling to keep up with his magical teammates)

Elena: honestly, gonna go with Fennekin as well. like she was obviously gonna get a fire type starter, and I tossed around the idea of some of the fire/fighting types, but none of Torchic, Chimchar, or Tepig really feel very "Elena", and I tossed around the idea of Litten bc of her affinity with the jaquins, but I think Fennekin is the best bet here. She is still primarily a spellcaster herself, after all, and with Fennekin being based off a fox, it can also serve as a visual reference to Zuzo. Also, I do kinda like the idea of all 4 of them getting a starter from the same set, and if any of the amigos were to pick the same one, it'd be Elena and Mateo, let's be real here.

No Restrictions Apply

Naomi: oh, Eevee, easy. what better Pokemon to tie into an arc about indecision and trying to figure out what you want from life than the manifestation of choice paralysis? Just take her season 3 arc and add in "oh no what do I evolve my Eevee into" as a metaphor and boom. (Vee votes Vaporeon, btw.) Also, giving her a normal type that can end up as virtually any type works well with her being the party's token "normal" person, just a girl from the port, that often tends to have whatever random skill is needed to solve the problem-of-the-day.

Gabe: he. he literally has a horse named "fire". Ponyta. but that's such a gimme, so I'm gonna toss some others in the hat. I considered Honedge since, y'know, sword, but a ghost sword is also pretty much exactly what El Guapo is, and Gabe definitely didn't start with that. Growlithe is another possibility - in the Pokemon universe, Growlithe is used as a police dog, and Gabe's family is shown as having a dog in Team Isa. And honestly, I could see the argument for still Chespin, actually, since if anyone in this party could have the whole array of every possible unevolved Pokemon available to them to start with and still end up with one of the more "standard issue" starters, it'd be Gabe, and I do think that Pokemon fits him. Catch me in the club, building an entire team for him at this rate lol. But critically, not Treecko. Anything but Treecko.

Mateo: as the party's resident barrier boy, a more defense-based psychic type seemed like a good fit. my first thought was Wynaut, since what are Mirror Coat and Counter if not ximocu, but Pokemon moves? But I think I'm gonna lock in Mime Jr.. It might not learn the former two moves, but that line is still based around set-up and shielding, it ties in with how Mateo is more prone to mirroring and mimicry than the other amigos, and it makes his being a clown in Elena's dream that much funnier. (I could also argue Abra, since I think it'd be cute if Alacazar's grandson started with Alacazar's Alakazam's grandson.)

Elena: Riolu! In the absence of fire, giving her a fighting type feels right (especially since it picks up a steel typing later and her particular brand of fighting involves swords), but far more important are its dex entries. Riolu and Lucario are incredibly loyal, have a very strong sense of justice, and can both sense other people's emotions and project their own, which both just vibes with Elena's personality and also honestly seems like a Pokemon that'd be really good and grounding for her to have around. And then the aura thing - in the games, it's just the emotion sensing thing and the move Aura Sphere, but in the anime, aura use also manifests as the ability to interact with special aura-using objects and supernatural awareness of ones' surroundings, which I feel like Elena's "seeing ghosts" thing would fall under. Basically what I'm saying is that in a Pokemon crossover, Elena would aura-sensitive, so giving her an aura-sensitive Pokemon makes sense. Oh yeah also in the 8th movie a Lucario got trapped in temporal stasis in a crystal for a really long time so....

...although really, Elena can start with literally anything but the Hattrem line lmao

[lysol1201]

🗺Does Anybody Have A Map?🗺 Obey Me Drabble

Heyyy, sooooo, I'm doing another one of these LMAO. This is completely based off of the song "Does Anybody Have A Map" by Rachel Bay Jones and Jennifer Laura Thompson from Dear Evan Hansen (The Musical). I previously did a Levi x GN!Reader one-shot where it was based on Only Us from the same musical! Check it out here!

This might not be correct timeline-wise with canon, but I'm having this based where the brothers are more recently fallen, Satan is still fairly new, Lucifer and Diavolo don't really know each other and Lucifer is mostly uncomfortable with him, and RAD is in the early stages of creation and it is the brothers first day.

I hope you enjoy! I do somewhat enjoy this, it's different than what I usually write but this was all I could think about when hearing this song haha.

Word Count: 990

++++

“Have you been writing those letters to yourself? ‘Dear Lucifer, this is gonna be a good day, and here's why,’”

“I started one,”

“Those letters are important, Lucifer! They’re going to help you get used to the Devildom!”

“I guess,”

It was a bit of a struggle for fallen angels to get used to being demons. Especially when they can’t help but have some distaste for the place they were taught to hate, but now live at. Diavolo was sure he could get them to be accustomed to it. He was going to help them enjoy their time here! Especially when they had someone new with them.

“Can we try to have an optimistic outlook? Can we buck up just to see that the world won’t fall apart? Maybe this year we decide, we’re not giving up before we’ve tried! This year we’ll make a new start!” Diavolo enthusiastically suggested to Lucifer, the newest and strongest demon next to him. “Hey! I know! You can go around and ask your brothers and the other demons to sign the cast of your wings!” He suggested, hoping to get Lucifer out there.

“Perfect,” Lucifer spoke with no emotion and obvious sarcasm in his tone.

Diavolo obviously didn’t catch on for his response was, “I’m proud of you already!” With a great wide smile on his face.

“Oh,” Lucifer sighed and began to walk away from Diavolo towards the castle doors. “Good.”

As soon as Lucifer had finally left the castle, Diavolo let out a large breath that he had kept in the entire interaction. These 7 new demons have been around for a short while and now going to get involved in the early stages of the Royal Academy of Diavolo, yet they still seemed to not get along with him, Barbatos, the other demons, or even each other. He had no idea what was going on and how he was going to solve it.

“Barbatos?” Diavolo turned around to face his loyal butler with a look of defeat on his face. “Do you happen to have a map?” He chuckled with sadness.

“What do you mean, my Lord?”

“I don’t know if you can tell, but this is me just pretending to know,” He spoke quietly, almost a whisper, but Barbatos was still able to hear him clearly. “So where’s the map? I need a clue. The scary truth is I’m flying blind, and I’m making this up as I go.”

Diavolo was obviously disappointed, confused, and hurt. He had no idea what to do, and he just wanted the brothers to like him and his home. 

Barbatos walked up to Diavolo and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder and shot him a small grin. “You’re doing all you can do, my Lord. And I believe you’re doing the best you can right now,” He spoke honestly, watching hope return to Diavolo’s once gloomed eyes. “Don’t worry. It will work out. I promise you.”

++++

When Lucifer arrived at the House of Lamentation, it seemed to be in shambles already as all of his brothers and fellow fallen angels, with the exception of one, were in a frenzy getting prepared for school. 

“Satan, you can’t just skip this!” Asmodeus seemed to be arguing with the newest addition to the family.

“Well, I do believe I can do whatever I want, and I don’t want to go to this,” He growled in response, obviously angry with this whole situation. Well, of course, he was angry. He was the Avatar of Wrath and he had no idea what to do with that sin. “So, I’m not going to go.”

Lucifer sighed at the sight. “It’s all of our first days Satan, you are not missing it.” He crossed his arms, finding the attention of the fourth born.

“I’ll go tomorrow,” He rolled his eyes at his older brother, preparing to turn away and find his way back to his room.

“He doesn’t listen,” Belphegor groaned. “Look at him, he’s probably high.”

“He’s definitely high,” Asmodeus agreed with the seventh born.

“Satan,” The first born shut his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “I don’t want you going to school high.”

“Perfect!” Satan cheered with a cynical smile plastered on his face. “So then I won’t go! Thanks, Lucifer!” And as soon as he finished the sentence, he rushed upstairs to go back and reside in his room.

Lucifer just groaned and smashed his head into his hands unsure of what to do. Another masterful attempt with Satan ended with disaster.

“The roads are already jammed,” Leviathan informed the brothers as he stared down at his D.D.D checking the directions to their new school.

“Beel finished the milk!” Asmodeus complained.

“We better head out,” Mammon spoke up, wanting to get the day over with already.

“If Belphie’s not ready, I’m leaving without him,” Asmodeus grabbed his bag and slung it around his shoulder, rolling his eyes and heading towards the door.

With everything going around Lucifer, being the oldest of the new group of demons that chose to fall with him from the Celestial realm, having to take care of the embodiment of his literal past emotions, while trying to take care of himself and his oath with the future Demon King, Lucifer needed to pour another coffee while he watched it crash and burn in front of him. So far, from the start of this all, each day was another wrong turn.

He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to being a demon, being in charge of his younger brothers, working under someone he was taught to despise. He was flying blind and making up what he did as he went. He thought he was far from similar to the next-in-line Demon King but little did he know, they both really needed a map, they both really needed a clue, because they were both just pretending to know.

[herstarburststories]

I'd die for you, come kill me

Kinktober Day 11: restrained

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

A/N: This one goes for my good friend followers celebration. So happy for your milestone, @msmarvelouswinchester! Divider by @talesmaniac89.

@stillintheimpala said: i have a fic idea. demon!dean stuck in a chair on handcuffed to a bed with those demon proof handcuffs. he's completely at your mercy. you get to dom him. (I put ropes instead of handcuffs because of the gif)

Prompt: Remember how I said I'd die for you.

Warnings: angry sex, p in v, riding, restraints, power play, smangst, angst, kind of hopefully ending (?), demon!dean acts like demon!dean

“Where is he?”

Sam sucked in a breath, moving his shoulder uncomfortably as he straightened his posture. The youngest Winchester's features contorted into a grimace, and you couldn't tell if it was because of the look on your face or him jarring his dislocated arm. “He's in the dungeon, but Y/N-”

“He isn't himself. I know that. Kinda noticed when he threw me against the wall and said he couldn't wait to rip my throat out with his teeth.” You gave Sam a humorless grin before you gestured to the wound on your shoulder. “This is a good reminder as well.”

“We'll cure him.” Sammy nodded at you, wrapping his words with faith and determination; he was always a believer.

You arched your eyebrows. “Then what are you waiting for?”

You two were still standing in the living room as Dean's howl rushed through the air. He sounded more like a beast than a man, yet he was smack dab in the middle of those polarized states. He was human enough to know where to strike and animal enough to relish in the attack.

Sam's gaze softened on yours.

“I know he hurt you. He hurt both of us, but Dean is my brother. I can do it alone. You don't need to-”

“Sam, he ran away once, and you just got your arm yanked out of your socket. You won't be able to fight him. You need backup,” you interrupted him. Despite your conclusion being completely rational, there was more to it than that, but Sam didn't need to know about it yet. “Besides, it's Dean.”

The hunter glanced at you. Gentle eyes watching your jaw harden, he pressed his lips together and nodded. “Okay.”

Dean's demonic self had been throwing insults like a man feeding his dog shattered glass. He was full of them, not caring about hiding his satisfaction when he hits yours and Sam's weak spots.

A couple of seconds ago, he had called you an easy pussy that saved him the job of having to go out and get some. That display rewarded him with a thicker needle that pierced much deeper than it needed to. The pure human blood spread into his veins as a holy wash, like soap over a flesh wound. Dean growled in pain and went quiet for a while.

Your eyes abandoned the demon for once, directed now to his brother. Sam's earthy brown eyes were drawn in concern, mouth sketched into a frown. His healthy arm was onto his shoulder, obviously physically hurting.

“Sam, go. I can do it. It’s just two more needles. He'll probably pass out once it's done,” you pleaded in an attempt to catch Sam's rational side that always saw the order in chaos. His hazel orbs settled on you, and you knew he didn't want to leave his brother. You can't blame him for that. You didn’t either, but if Dean was in his right mind, he'd want that. And you needed some time alone with this demon version of your boyfriend. “Please.”

You didn’t know if it was something in your cracking voice or if the fact his brother regaining control meant he’d have even harsher words to spit, but when the tall man’s eyes swept from you to his brother and back, he sighed. In that moment, you knew he accepted it. 

“If he doesn't pass out…”

“I call you right away. Don't worry, and please take some meds for your pain.” You offered some tenderness to him in the middle of the violence through a lovingly smile. In a matter of seconds, the only traces of Sammy in the room were the boot-clad clamor of his footsteps growing quieter and quieter.

“Now you have me all to yourself, sweetheart. What are you planning to do?”

The lopsided grin was still attached to his face, and those were still his teeth. Still, something about Dean's smile made you want to rip him apart with your nails. How did he let this happen? How did the situation escalate like this? How did everything get so bad so fast?

“Shut up,” you hissed through your teeth, boots clicking on the floor as you approached him. Dean glanced at you shamelessly; the pretty little bruise on your skin proving that he had succeeded in breaking you. It twisted his guts in both good and bad ways — the bittersweet contradiction among lovers. 

“Feisty, huh? I always liked that on you. Who would guess that you were a bottom in bed?” Dean appeared to find your fury entertaining as if he relished any emotion he could instigate inside you.

“I said shut up.”

“Or what? You are gonna sting me with a flimsy syringe needle like I did to you with my cock? Go ahead, sweetheart.”

The idiotic nickname burned your insides. As your and Dean's relationship got more serious, he'd stop calling you that. You weren't just a fling or a woman he'd leave the next day, and the Winchester only called you that either sarcastically or during an argument now. Was this how the demon saw you? Just another sweetheart?

Dean smirked at your quietude, poking the bear once again. “What? Demon got that smart tongue of yours? It's embarrassing, really. You get all worked up, pretending to be that tough gal, but you can't hurt me. You didn't even fight back when I tried to kill you. How weak is that? You’ve always been a liability. Just another woman I had to protect to get inside her.”

You warned him, the words coming out more like a groan than anything else: “Shut up!”

Yet, Dean persisted. He had discovered your weakness, and he couldn't wait to see how much you could take. You'd end up giving in to him, thrashing headfirst into a fight, and he'd escape again. The demon was counting on that. “A waste of time, really. At least you had a nice pussy, but I scratched it open. It's useless now, just like you.”

The dismissal in his words laced with the cynical chuckle that left his mouth made you hit your breaking point. 

“I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You grabbed a syringe and stung Dean like a scorpion, right in the jugular. He wanted to set you on fire? Good, you'd make sure he got burnt too. “I said I'd die for you. Remember how I said I'd die for you? And you tried to kill me.” You grunted, throwing the empty needle away. Dean's normally forest green eyes went black as howls of outrage escaped his mouth. The blood of saints that coursed through his body was a good way to either turn the beast into a man again or kill him completely. Knowing this, he screamed and struggled in the chair, as desperate as a rat stuck in a mousetrap. It made you doubt the cure. Perhaps a good thing couldn't save him now, the whispers of sulfur that colored his heart black too intrinsic to eradicate without killing the host. You couldn't bring yourself to care about it now. The demon was suffering, and he deserved it. You wanted your own hurt ricochet back to where it came from: him. “Now you are sitting there talking about me like I'm your bitch or something like that, but I'm not. I can take care of myself, and I don't need you. I chose to stay here.”

Dean blinked, and suddenly everything was in place again. His face softened like it usually did when you two were alone, and an actual smile conquered his features. All the oxygen in your body caught in your throat.

“You're right. You are a strong, independent woman, and I should feel lucky to get myself a keeper like you.” His voice filled the dungeon with light-hearted relief. Your cheeks were hurting as you scooted closer to him. “I missed you so much.”

He was saying all you wanted to tell him the minute he left. Your eyes got glossy, and you threw yourself on his lap, clutching to him like devout patron to her bible. Dean was here. He came back to you.

A quiet gasp of praise left your mouth: “Dean-”

He interrupted whatever you were about to say, replacing your words with a kiss. A sweet one — sweeter than anything you might imagine. It was the kind of kiss shared for two lovers in the dark, recognizing each other’s bodies by touch alone. You, of course, allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of belonging. You shouldn't have. You should never just jump into someone, or you might drown. It's hard to find corpses in a black river.

Yet, your soul was tied to the righteous sinner, so you kept pressing your lips to his while he devoured your mouth softly.

“Sammy doesn't understand, Y/N,” he said. When he pulled away, you nuzzled into his neck. The heated tang to his murmured sentiments remained there, but his voice, less gruff than usual, fooled you. “I finally don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm free. I never thought I'd be happy after that night…” Dean wore the façade, even gulping at the thought. He didn't know if it was because the human blood was slowly coursing into the core of his being, but he wouldn't waste time on it. “But I can now. We can run away together, leave Sam behind. Just me and you.”

What did you expect? He was a demon. The blame was on you for expecting repentance from the ashes of hellfire. This isn't a fairytale where the hero suddenly is hit by true love and everything is solved with the ultimate kiss. This is a hunter’s tale, and there's just one ending for those stories: the prey dying.

You lifted your head. “Dean would never leave Sam behind.”

Dean burst into laughter as if your hope was some sort of funny joke. He adjusted his hips in the chair, smirking at you with cruelty.

“Bet it almost got you. I could see your eyes shining with hope. You were ready to get on your knees and suck my cock. You’d be screaming Dean, Dean, Dean, and inevitably fall for some stupid lies.” He shook his head with disappointment. “You're too easy, Y/N.”

“Who do you think you are?” The indignancy in your tone only drew a malicious grin out of Dean. This was too good. He could feel his cock hardened in his pants. He might fuck you before killing you only to make good use of his time.

“I'm a demon. What about you? Oh, wait! I know the answer to that one.” He licked his lips, savoring the moment. “You're a little-”

Smack.

The palm of your hand met Dean's cheek harshly, transferring some of your anger into a red mark on his right cheek. The eldest Winchester's head was tilted to the side from the impact. He clenched his jaw before turning his glare at you, eyes back in black as he spoke: “You shouldn't have done that.”

Every syllable that left his tongue was imbued with a threatening crimson rage, but you didn't care. Not now.

You weren't scared of him.

“You shouldn't be a demon, but here we are,” you remarked, summoning a smarmy leer and wearing it like one of his flannels. “Shut up. I know you're not my Dean. You are just all he hates in himself wrapped with his skin. You're disgusting, cruel, and selfish.” It didn’t make any sense for your body to be as heated up as it was, but it was. And Dean didn’t care. Fuck him. “You’ve spent so long aiming at our Achilles’ heel that you forgot you have yours too. Stupid.” You chortled, grinding your hips on his. At this point, both your panties and emotional stability were ruined. “Look at you, all hard for the girl basically torturing you with poison, huh?”

“You-” He attempted to speak, to put you down so he can climb over you. You stopped him with a hand inside his pants.

“Language, Dean,” you groaned at him. It wasn't unusual for you and Dean to blow off some steam with sex, either after a fight or a hunt, but, this? It’s a whole new level of fucked. Yet somehow, your pussy didn't seem to mind, and neither did his cock. You got his length free, and his stiffened cock slapped his clothed belly. “I don't wanna hear something that makes me angry because if I get mad, then I won't let you come inside my pretty pussy. Understood?”

He groaned in response, trying to move his hands to show you who the real alpha was here, but the rope kept him in place. Silence lanced through the air because you knew you didn't want to waste time on something as exciting as foreplay; he did not deserve that, and you didn't want this. You just lifted your red skirt and slid your panties to the side. Your pussy swallowed his cock painfully slow.

The demon that ate your lover didn't offer mumbled protests at the fact you were still wearing clothes. Your Dean always tried to get any piece of fabric away because he liked to see all of you. This Dean, though, gulped and glared at you. Pleasure flushed his cheeks only he can’t deny the physical pleasure. It’s clear that, even as a demon, he could never reject the carnal appeal of your body and your sweet, soaked pussy. Hands pinned behind his back with the restraints, you two in the middle of a big demon symbols on the ground, he was completely at your mercy. He was helpless.

Dean bucked his hips to get all of his hardness inside you right way, to show both you and himself that he still had the power here. You barely blinked before moving your hips up, restricting him further entrance into your cunt. Dean was always eager when it came to sex, but you knew this wasn't about just fucking you anymore. You were in control.

Placing your hands on his shoulders, you murmured in an increasingly sultry bite: “I'm the one making the rules here. Take it or leave it.”

“Fucking a demon? That's why you told Sammy to go with all the crap about caring for his arm?” the former hunter remarked. You and he both knew Dean wouldn't — couldn’t, not with half his cock being squeezed by your tightness — leave your pussy, but he still very much had the capacity to bite.

“Unlike you, I worry about the people I love.”

“I don't love,” he snarled, watching you swallow the malcontented lump in your throat. “Hear that? I don't love you.”

“Then at least be useful and fuck me,” you groaned, finally resting wholly in his lap with all of his dick inside of you. Dean whimpered, overthrown by the sensation of your heady tightness encompassing his cock. He tried to break free again, starved to grab your thighs, your ass, any part of you he could get his hands on, but the rope limited his range of motion. The raw polyester and nylon mix around his wrists was a contrast to the warmth of his lap. His eyes closed, blinking only back into wakeful blackness because of your promise disguised as a hissed threat: “No, forget it. I'll be the one fucking you.”

There was something delightfully mercurial about the way you rode Dean. The dungeon once filled by his pained screams had now become the perfect studio for your flexing thighs slapping against his, your breathless moans camouflaging the raw hurt of your heart, and the unique sound of Dean's cock sunk to impossible degrees inside your needy cunt. He leaned in for more.

This was no longer about the sexual release for him. It was for the tiny part of Dean that always craved an order to follow. It was the small piece of him that craved carrying the weight of responsibility heavy on his back like the burden Atlas had to bear. It was the liberation of the heavy chains that held him down since he was a child, even if his hands were — appropriately enough — tied behind his back. As a demon, he didn’t have to worry, and neither did he when submissive to you. For you, it was expelling your revenge on this devilish version of the man you loved. He had it coming.

“I hate you. I hate having to save you. I hate caring about you.” You huffed, nails sinking in his clothed shoulder. The ghost of your touch was enough to make his dick twitch inside you. Tears brimmed in your eyes as the goosebumps rose your spine, and every time you sunk on his cock brought you closer to collapse. All Dean did was to praise your name with a moan. “I hate how good you feel inside me.” You sobbed, increasing your rhythmic and going fast and rougher on his cock. Your walls were tightening around his dick. Your untouched clit rubbed against the fabric, but it didn't matter. This wasn't about pleasure. “I hate that it’s you and not him.” That's not my Dean.

That caught his attention. Dean’s shoulders grew rigid. He was ready to catch a glimpse of warring emotions of hatred and disgust on your face, but he wasn't prepared for the crushingly forlorn refraction of loss and dispair he found there. 

The knight of hell should feel satisfied. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? Destroying you, turning the woman the human version of himself loved into a walking catastrophe so you wouldn't dare bring him back.

Apparently, the priorities changed. Maybe the blood was really effective, slowly disintegrating his armor into flesh again. It was the only explanation for all the humanly emotions he was experiencing.

Dean felt the conflict building as if hurting you was physically tearing him apart. His eyes contracted into livid green again, shining like the moon with tears he didn't dare drop. He was still a demon, bratty heart or not.

Yet, there was only so far a man could control himself. His lips were treacherous for your name, echoed more like a plea than anything: “Y/N-”

“Shut up! I don't wanna hear your voice. You said I'm your little bitch, nothing but a whore to you, huh? Guess what, asshole. You are my bitch now, and you’re gonna like it.” The little monster in you hummed happily to your authority, glad to finally punish someone for the incitement of agony inside your guts. You closed your eyes, riding Dean ferociously.

Dean Winchester might have been a cage to your feelings, but at least it was golden.

You said you'd be here. You said you wouldn't leave me. Your thoughts corroded your wearied heart as you tried to fuck them away with Dean's weeping cock. You could feel he was close, and you were constantly hitting your G-spot with eagerness, your sweat and harrowed feelings gushing over. You said I didn't need to leave. You said we'd find a way through this. You lied, you lied, you lied. 

I trusted you, and you destroyed me. You hurt me and Sam, and I can't even blame you for it. He knew all your enemies started out as friends. He knew how much it would hurt you if he got the mark. He knew how it would break you if he said those words, demon or not. And you know you can't put this blame on Dean’s shoulders, but you were suffocating and needed fresh air. The sacrificial game wasn’t always a virtuous act. So, you dropped yourself down hard, appreciating the way his cock hit the right spot over and over again. It forced your body to feel good despite your restless mind. I hate you. You made me go crazy. And I miss you.

What was the saying? Man makes the promise, and the demon makes him break it.

Dean's fixated you. He wanted to get free of his cuffs and cup your cheeks, see you lean into his touch so he could wipe away the tears that started to fall and haven't stopped in minutes. He wanted to tell you he was here, not completely, but he was here. He wanted to apologize and make it better, but he didn't. His white skin was burning red because of how hard he was trying to move his hands, hair moving by your movements and his. The semi-human groaned like the remainder of the beast clutching his strings when he hit his orgasm and spread his seed inside you. You whined like a broken toy as you came all over his cock.

It felt good, for a while. It was nice, feeling good.

You stayed there a little more, gaining control over yourself while he softened inside of you. Dean was doing the same in an attempt to stifle his human emotions from surfacing. He wasn't going to be weak anymore. He couldn't be because for once in his life, he hadn’t hated himself. 

You coughed, using the chair to hoist yourself to your feet. His cum dripped from your pussy, dampening his still-clothed thigh. You sniffed, grimacing a little when you noticed that your face wasn't wet with sweat. You’d been crying. 

That only made you madder at yourself.

“Fuck it,” you groaned, putting his dick back into his pants before zipping him up.

Dean smirked in a final attempt to turn the table and get on your nerves again. “That's what we just did.”

You didn't waste more of your heart on him. Taking the last needle, you sunk the devil into his sharp skin and pressed the plunger with all the fervor of pulling a gun's trigger. He screamed like the rush of humanity flowing into him was a shot to the heart.

Your legs were trembling when you threw the object away and hugged yourself, focused on Dean's fragile body in front of you. 

He looked down, eyes shutting a few times as if he was waking up before lifting his head to look at you. 

“Y/N?” His voice was back to its gruff drag, but it was carrying a strand of vulnerability and care that he had only ever directed at you. Dean frowned, confusedly watching you and the place around you both, not to mention himself. “Y/N, what happened?”

He didn't remember anything. He didn't remember the terrible things he’d done. He didn't remember the words said.

You gulped, the back of your hand pressed against your wet cheeks. “I'm going to get Sam.”

The demon may have gotten teary-eyed, but the human Dean was the one letting the tears slide down his cheeks as you turned around and left, almost running to get away from him. He didn't even know why.

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[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)