#like it's difficult to care about a romance if the man is not attractive

[righteousdelusions]

There's this old venezuelan telenovela that has an autistic woman... Actually, it's called "the perfect woman", it's about different couples/women, and I did see a commercial for it recently, where the "asperger" woman says something like: I guess you can say some of us are a bit... Different. But I think I can show that I'm also the perfect woman, in my way :)

Which, considering it was like, fifteen years ago, it was kinda super progressive ajsjdj

(Monica Spear you will always be cherished :c)

And I also saw a clip where she's talking to a man and bluntly says "yes, I'm talking about having sexual intercourse you and I" *guys chokes on beverage* "I assume that you as the gentleman will take charge of the details though :)". So that's fun.

I've never checked it because I feel it might be too cringe for me, but there's no harm in trying. Let's see if I can find it 🤔

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝗑𝗒 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

Your future spouse will find how controlled you are but how they manage to make you lose control to be very sexy. You’ll have a natural sensuality going for you even outside the bedroom. Initially, they’ll feel like they see you because you’ll be sort of lonely, it’s not going to be something that you’ll be actively dwelling on instead you’ll be extremely nurturing and genuine with those around you, trying to take care of yourself, spreading kindness and remaining connected to what truly matters. You’re going to seem really grounded and based in reality, you’ll look like you take good care of yourself physically because at that time, you will be. When they’ll come in, you’ll still seem very controlled but the more time starts going by, the more you’ll start handing the control over to them. They’ll discover new sides of you - the side of you that gets angry and throws a fit when you lose something, the side of you that isolates yourself when hurt, the side of you that kicks your feet in the air joyfully whilst seated on a chair, the side of you that hasn’t told anyone that you carry all the bills, the side of you that cries when worried about your finances and future, so on and so forth. They’re going to want to protect you, and give you all the stability and love that you so deeply deserve. You’ll react a certain way when they’re visibly angry. Your cheeks will flush up with a visible tinge of red, your lips will be slightly parted and you’ll be closing it again, and again, you’ll bite your lower lip and nibble it to ease up your nervousness and the tingling sensations that you’ll be feeling all over your body. Oh, they’re going to want to take you right then and there, they’ll want to release their anger and make up with you in what I (and probably they) consider to be the most effective way. Assuming that they’re a man, you’ll bring out an even manlier side of them. I’m not sure what you consider to be a true man but I personally think that a true man is a kind, considerate protector and provider. You’ll not bring out the animalistic and lustful side of them right away, they’re going to feel a strong sexual attraction towards you but it’s going to be an undercurrent, it’s going to be hard to be around you due to how strongly attracted they’ll feel towards you but their crush on you, the fluttery butterflies in their belly, the desire to catch a glimpse of you without you noticing, the desire to know how you feel, the desire to sort out their own emotions is going to be their main area of focus. They’ll find it hard to be around you without noticing you, they’ll even have to maintain the pace of their breathing in case they forget to breathe, they’ll feel you through your energy alone, their body will grow physically warmer when you’re around but their main area of focus will be on being who and what you’ll need them to be at that time. They’ll feel protective towards you and will want to look out for your needs. Not only that but you’ll also bring out an almost childlike yet father-like aspect from within them, the romance and warmth shared between you will be like no other. At times, they’re going to find themself acting like their child self in front of you, you’ll draw out the tenderness from within them. They’ll be so smitten, so childlike, almost naive because of your influence, you’ll make them so happy, so childlike, that they’ll often not even realize that they’re smiling. It’ll be difficult for them to contain their smile even at the mere sight of you. You’re going to be their dream person, they’ll not have felt this way for anyone else. Loving you will come so naturally to them, you’ll make them feel something that they didn’t know they were in search of, the kind of love that cannot even be written about.

It will be the kind of love that no matter how much one may try cannot be channeled into any art form, the kind of love that cannot even be described, the kind of love in front of which every word in the dictionary is bound to fall short, the kind of love that only be felt from within the deepest layers of the heart. “I don’t want a palace of mirrors, with you, even dry bread feels good” is the energy that I’m getting here. Your down to earth way of living will give them a new life and their structured, disciplined, respected and respectful ways of living will give you the same. Well, the thing about being down to earth is, earth does not only have peaceful and still lakes, and rivers, it also has volcanos, and you seem to be a volcano. Even though, usually you tend to be more calm, due to your flaming hot chemistry with them and your lack of knowledge on how to deal with it, you’ll erupt quite a lot. However, in bed, you’re going to let them take you in ways that you never would outside of it. You’re going to let them lead you and will not give them a single moment of silence, you’re going to be noisy - you’ll moan, you’ll cry, you’ll hum, you’ll groan, YOU’RE EVEN GOING TO LAUGH and they’re going to love it all. I’m getting that while you’re going to be giving yourself to them completely, you’re still going to act like a brat at times. Despite this, they’re going to be the one in control and they’ll love it. You’re going to change the way you’re acting within minutes but it’s going to make it all the more exciting, it’s just going to piece together, almost as if everything was well planned beforehand. They’re going to love the way one moment you’re running your mouth and the next you’re keeping shut, and taking it. They’re going to edge you to the point you can’t take it anymore and try to take matters into your own hands… or should I say ‘fingers’, just for them to hold you in place, they’ll hand cuff you and tie your hands if the need be there but they’ll usually be strong enough to keep your fingers from giving you the friction you so desperately crave, not having to use any external materials to quote unquote ‘keep you from misbehaving’. They’re going to find it all so sexy, the way you whine and try to protest just to have to end up practicing a virtue namely ‘patience’. Also, you have a really high sex drive. They’re going to love your ability to keep up, in fact, you’ll do more than just keep up, you’ll please them and you’ll both love it. You’re never going to be able to get enough of each other and what’s sexier than that? You seem to have an overstimulation kink and they seem to have it too, they’re going to want you to not be able to walk comfortably after your sexual encounters and they’re going to want to experience pleasure to the point they’re too sensitive to continue. I’m getting that either you’ll have eight to nine rounds of orgasms (as long as you have time for it) or they’ll give you rounds after rounds of pleasure until your head is spinning and you genuinely can’t take it anymore. They’re going to love the way you try to keep your legs shut, not even being able to vocalise that you can’t take it anymore, the way your legs shake when they continue pushing, the way you arch your back and roll your eyes with the most exquisite music coming out from within your diaphragm, the way you grab their hair and scratch their back while riding your high, and the way you let out a playful and vivacious laugh after all is done, and you’ve finally caught your breath. Also, the way you’ll look at them, still disheveled after your love making session and then a small smile will creep up your cheeks until you have a wide smile across your face. The saying that “it hits different when it’s made with love” will stand true in your case. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

They’ll love missionary, you’ll love missionary, the end! Ahaha, just kidding. On a more serious note, they’re going to find you to be very physically attractive, even with clothes on. They’ll have a great deal of appreciation for your values and who you are as a person. They’re going to love everything about you, from the way you walk, to the way you talk, to the way you move. They’re going to feel a pull towards you from the very first time they’ll meet you and this feeling will only continue to grow into more and more passion as they spend more time with you. They’re going to feel a desire to be with you and you’re going to reciprocate their energy for which they’ll be really grateful. It’ll be a natural flowing connection where the both of you will desire each other and will care about each other from the very start. They’ll love that you enjoy risky situations, it’s going to be sexy how you’ll be the one to initiate stuff in such cases, like in family gatherings, if you’re in the kitchen with other people and the both of you are standing behind the counter in a way where your lower bodies are covered, you’ll just rub your hand over their tool from over their jeans, continuing your conversation with the other people present and gosh, it’ll be so sexy, they could get off to the memory of it. You’re going to tease them like that quite a lot - touching them at times when you shouldn’t be, making suggestive comments, just to leave them alone to deal with it while you go ahead with your day. Another thing that they’ll find incredibly sexy is the way you seamlessly combine tenderness and intensity. As you both will lie close, your bodies almost touching, there’s going to be a magnetic pull in the air, a silent promise of intimacy. What they’ll find most captivating is how you can be both passionate and gentle, knowing exactly when to take the lead and when to let the moment unfold naturally. You’ll seem to be perfectly in sync with one another. Even the sizes of your body and the way it looks, it’ll seem as though the both of you were supposed to fit together. No matter if you were a virgin before you met them or have had a long line of sexual encounters lined up from before you met them, you’ll move with a subtle confidence, a quiet power that doesn’t need to be spoken - each gesture will be deliberate yet fluid, as if every action is meant to communicate something deeper. When your hands glide over their skin, there’s going to be a sense of connection, an understanding of what they need without them having to say a word. It’s as if you’re not just touching them physically but reaching into their very soul, creating an encounter that feels both exhilarating and comforting. There will be moments when you’ll let your emotions take the lead, allowing your vulnerability to show. This openness, this willingness to bare your heart, will be intensely sexy to them. Supposing, you’re sharing a quiet moment together, perhaps after an evening of passionate love-making and you start to talk about your deepest feelings, your voice might falter here and there but even so you’ll continue telling them about it as if you could never break their trust and that will be the moment that pulls them in even closer.

In the throes of passion, they’ll be enchanted by your ability to shift the dynamic effortlessly. One minute, you might be tender and slow, savoring each kiss, each touch as if time itself has slowed down just for you. The next, there’s a sudden intensity - a fire that burns brightly, consuming both of you in its heat. Your spontaneity will keep them on their toes, never quite knowing what to expect but loving every moment of it. Yet, it’s not just the passion that will captivate them, it’s the sense of trust you cultivate in those moments. When you’re together, they’ll feel like they can let go of all their worries, all their defenses, because you’ve created a space where it’s safe to be completely themselves. There will be times when you both lie in silence, your bodies intertwined, and they’ll realize that this is what they’ve been searching for - a partner who understands that intimacy is as much about emotional connection as it is about physical pleasure. In those quieter moments, your future spouse will be mesmerized by how you listen, how you pay attention to the smallest details. Maybe it’s the way you instinctively know when they need to be held a little tighter or the way you remember something they mentioned in passing and bring it up at just the right time. These small gestures, these signs of your deep care and understanding, will make them fall even more in love with you. So well, I would say that what they’ll find most sexy about you is the way you make them feel cherished, desired and completely understood. You will have this incredible ability to make every moment feel special, to turn the ordinary into something extraordinary. 69… they’ll love it. They’ll find it extremely sexy when you sit down for them to lick and suck you. They’ll especially love your smell, when you sit down for them to eat you out, they’ll take a long breath in, finding something as simple as normal vaginal smell to be appealing and worth remembering. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they secretly, at least once or twice sniff your panties. It’s not like it’s an actual fetish that they have but they find it funny and thrilling regardless? They’re going to love your giggles, I’m not sure how you giggle but it’ll be one of their favourite parts of your aftercare, while the both of you will be having a conversation, you’ll just giggle and they’ll just stare at you like “___ is so endearing, what have I gotten myself into?” They might get cuteness aggression and crush you in their arms, rupturing your ribcage slightly xD. I’m so sorry but I’m not even being able to describe everything that’s coming through in words because your connection is going to be divine in nature. Even the sex is going to feel surreal. They’re going to be turned on by everything you’ll do so they’ll find everything about you sexy, they’ll find YOU to be sexy. It’s not going to be the way you are or anything that you do, it’s going to be who you are that they’re going to find sexy. All of it. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

Welcome, my make up sex pile! They’ll find it sexy as to how almost all your fights end with the both of you in bed. As a couple, you’ll both indulge in pretty rough play. There will be a lot of biting and scratching involved alongside dirty talking. When it comes to your fights, even when the both of you are making up through activities, the bickering will continue. However, the bickering is going to get dirty and exciting. “You really think you’re always right, don’t you?” Then, they’ll bite and suck on a sensitive spot on your neck while playing with your kitty (assuming that you’re a girl/woman). “How about this? Do you like that?” They’ll probably grab your hair a lot and you’re going to do the same too. They’re going to find it incredibly sexy as to how you grab their hair while they’re eating you out, also your mouth will be slightly agape. They’ll want to see it all, they’ll not want to let their eyes stray away from your face for even a moment. Honestly, I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to either because you seem to have really sexy facial expressions while in bed. They’re going to love the way you react when you’re getting close, how you bite your lower lip in order to hold back sounds sometimes, the way your breathing gets quicker, your face gets redder and your eyes become half lidded. There will be something about the way you raise your hips and slightly move them while they’re eating you out that they’ll find incredibly enticing. They’ll find themself smiling and smirking while eating you out and even while kissing you. They’re going to love the feel of you in every sense - the way you feel on their tongue, the way your tongue entwines with theirs, the way you smell like vanilla/roses/whatever fragrance you wear just for you to end up sweaty and smell like it as your sexual encounter continues. They’re going to find the smell of your sweat to be really sexy too. I’m not sure how to explain it to you but it’ll just appeal to them. I feel like they’re going to be someone who naturally sweats a lot as well but regardless of that, they’re going to look very sexy while sweating. Also, they’ll love how you look with your face and body, all red and sweaty after all the fun activities that you’ve done together. They’re a very possessive and passionate person, and so are you. You’re both going to indulge in a lot of jealous and angry sex. I usually don’t feel called to name placements but who here has major cancer, leo, 4th house or 5th house placements? If not you’re probably going to share those synastry placements. Many of you here might be inexperienced and when they’ll meet you, you might even have an innocent image going for you. However, they’ll be able to pick up on the fact that you have something dirty lurking under the surface. Many of you are not willing to sleep with just anyone, you wish to sleep with those who love you deeply and who you love deeply. Naturally, due to your innocent image yet the sense of something dirty and lewd hidden within you, you’re going to seem very corruptible. In fact, you probably are very corruptible, they’re going to love how you get better with time and the power, and control that they’ll have over you. There’s going to be a theme of overindulgence, you’ll both prefer to have multiple rounds and many different ways of reaching, and riding your high. They’re going to love 69 with you, you’ll personally really love it as well. It’s not just 69, you’ll also enjoy mutual masturbation. To be honest, both the parties here seem to be pretty sexual in nature so you’ll love any and every position that you can do 💀. You’re going to love overstimulation and so will they, I’m getting a lot of clitoris stimulation taking place here. They’re going to use a vibrator on you a lot and they’re going to love the way you react.

They’re going to use the toy even when they’re inside you because that way, even they’ll be able to feel some vibrations and they’ll love the way you’re having a lot to handle at the same time. Regardless of whether you’re flat or busty, they’re going to pinch, lick and suck your tits a lot. They are going to enjoy the thrill of controlling. Almost always, they’ll be the one in control, you’ll often find yourself at their mercy. There will be times when they’ll be heavily stimulating you but will not allow you to reach your high. They’ll either command you to not cum until they give you the permission to do so or they’ll stop ride before you reach your peak. They’re going to love how you become putty in their hands, how your usually arrogant self becomes so helpless while they’re handling you. They’re going to find the way you react to them degrading and praising you to be very naughty. They’ll find it sexy when you can’t take it anymore so you try to get them to give you what you so desperately want and in fact, need. You’ll have your ways of trying to get what you want, some of them being - peppering them with pecks all over their face, kissing them deeply before pleading them to give you what you want or looking at them with puppy-ish eyes telling them just how much you need them, how much you wish to feel them, to feel their touch get you to your point of pleasure. You’ll start acting quite youthful as the session continues, simply just wanting them to take care of you and baby you, and give you what you want of course. You might find yourself talking in a baby voice, trying to convince them to give you what you want. You’ll get louder and make more noise as the session progresses as well. You’ll try to persuade them. “Please, I promise to behave. I promise to give you anything, to do anything, to be anything, please just let me do this.” Eye contact and each other’s face seems to be important to you, like they’ll be looking up at you while eating you out and you’ll be looking down at them with your hand grabbing their hair, they’ll want to do missionary with crazy deep eye contact, when you’re giving them head, you’ll want to look at their facial expressions as well, even when you’re doing positions such as doggystyle and reverse cowgirl, you’ll try to get a glance at each other’s faces once in a while. You’re also going to be observant of them, if their face doesn’t show that they’re experiencing the pleasure that you want them to feel, you’ll do something different that will be more pleasurable and they’ll love it, the way you try to be your best for them, give your all to them. Especially initially, because many of you seem to be inexperienced, you might not be as confident and not know all the ways of pleasuring someone but you’ll try your best and it will show. You might even say things like “I know that I might not have been that good but I promise to get better” or “did I do well? Are you proud of me?” at the end of your encounters. They’re going to find the afterglow to be endearing and sexy. You’ll usually be drenched in sweat and so will they but despite all the smell, you’ll want to kiss each other, you’ll make out but very sensually. They’ll love the intimacy that you’ll both share and well, since make up sex is going to be very common. You’re both going to voice out your emotions and communicate in the end. They’re going to love the soft, smooth and loving energy between you after such an explosive encounter that literally happened because the both of you were fighting. It’s going to feel deep and intimate, how the two of you can experience such dualities and fluctuations together. You’re both going to be unsuspectingly adorable and affectionate almost innocent with each other after everything is done as if you didn’t just engage in such erotic activities. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

[bossuary]

Neve is painless. Rook is real.

Lucanis likes Neve because she represents what he is desperate to regain. He wants to feel normal, to work and cook and focus on the things he used to enjoy (such as they were) before the Ossuary. He wants capital R Romance, right out of a book.

Most importantly, he wants to get rid of Spite. He wants to pretend that he is the man he was...not this abomination.

Without truly knowing her, Lucanis believes Neve is a pathway to all of that. He's attracted to her, and she to him. Their flirting has an edge, but it's also friendly. She dislikes Spite, and her presence makes Spite disappear.

Neve will tell Lucanis that he's still himself, and that Spite doesn't change that. She will never be the one to reconcile Lucanis with Spite, to get them to accept each other. So, yeah, he gravitates to the charming, flirty, warm person who (through no fault of her own, really) feeds his desire to pretend he's not an abomination.

Even early on, I think he's smart enough to know that accepting Spite is his only option, but he...just... can't. With what tools? Nothing in his life has prepared him to deal with this. Rook does that. When denial tears Lucanis apart, Rook puts him back together with acceptance. Rook accepts the reality of Spite, and deals with it head-on every time.

Neve will remind Lucanis that she's not going anywhere. She'll tell him to open his eyes and look at facts, but she (probably) won't be the one to push him out of his own prison. Lucanis knows this, so Spite knows this, and therefore Spite will not look to Neve for help.

It's important for Lucanis to accept that Spite has changed him. But when it's Rook who says it--for whom Lucanis has developed real feelings, not idealized ones--well, it destroys the fantasy Lucanis clings to so vehemently, the one where he isn't this.

For me, the Lucanis/Rook romance feels the way it does NOT because the writers "preferred" that Lucanis and Neve get together, but because Neve is simply easier for Lucanis to accept. She's easier to talk to, unchallenging. Easy isn't bad! Comfort isn't bad! God knows they both deserve some comfort.

Loving Rook is a profoundly complex choice. There's not a lot of cute ways to work that profundity into sexy banter. It makes sense, then, that Lucanis doesn't have as much dialogue for a romanced Rook as he does with Neve. What he can do is cook, make small gestures. He can, heartbreakingly, tell Rook, over and over, that he doesn't have the words to express how he feels. That's such an awful state, knowing that the person you care about needs to hear words you simply cannot locate. As soon as he does have the words, he shares them.

Rook is real. And real is not easy.

To Lucanis, Rook represents a difficult path to recovery, a path he has to keep choosing to follow, every day. At a time in his life where he is incapable of seeing Spite (and his own PTSD ) as anything but a 'distraction' to shove aside, Rook shows genuine interest in helping Lucanis heal. Rook takes consistent action toward that goal, particularly when it's clear that Lucanis doesn't know how.

Lucanis also has to believe that he's worth the effort, his own and his love's. Neve is great, love her, but I don't see this struggling cynic, this chronic worrier, being very helpful in the self-worth department. No, people in a relationship do not have to perform therapeutic roles. But, partners do have to respect each others' boundaries and needs.

Of course Lucanis goes all-in for Neve, romantically, even while he and Rook are dancing around each other. Accepting how much he loves and cares for Rook means looking at himself the way Rook does. That is so much harder than whatever will happen with Neve.

The fact that Lucanis isn't afraid to pursue Neve, even if Treviso is blighted, tells me that Neve is an indulgence for him. Again, that's not a value judgement. If they treat each other with respect, then the merits of the relationship don't have to fall on whether Lucanis 'heals' as a result. Sometimes not hurting all the time is enough.

BUT. Contrast the ease he feels with Neve with his feelings about Rook:

"When I was afraid to want you..."

That is a powerful admission.

What was he afraid of? The annihilation of neglect, worthlessness, and shame. The awful but knowable pillars of his existence.

Wanting Rook means that Lucanis wants to dismantle everything he knows in pursuit of something he doesn't. To love Rook is to love and accept himself, exactly as he is.

Then...then...Lucanis finds real comfort.

[ddollfface]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐦𝐚; 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞

Being The Daughter of The Orgre Is Difficult, Especially When It Comes to Dating.

It was a struggle, dating that is. Throughout your life, there’s always been something that causes boys to run away from you, both literally and figuratively. Though the actual running died off as you got older, instead, they’d just look you up and down and chuckle, whispering something to their friends before walking off. During those times, you wished they’d just run away screaming their heads off, that way they wouldn’t bruise your ego with harsh words and nasty stares. 

This wasn’t that big of a deal, at least when you were young. In your early years, you were far more concerned wondering what your mama was going to cook for dinner, or how far you’d make it on the monkey bars (you always did all of them, no question about it), so you didn’t really recognize this aversion boys had for you. If you did, then you just didn’t care. The idea of romance was clearly not on your mind as a seven-year-old. 

But, just like most girls, you grew up. Your body began to change and morph into that of a woman, albeit an awkward one, but a woman nonetheless. You were getting older, changing, and noticing how society viewed you differently, not just because you were a woman, but because you were… well… you. 

Of course, being a girl in this world put you in an interesting position, seeing how society had certain expectations of you, even though you were still so young and oh-so dumb. How can one expect someone so young, who hasn’t even lived for two decades, to know if she wants to birth a whole human? Let alone have more than one! The judgments didn’t stop there. There were constant stares, constant whisperings, and rumors going around that you weren’t a girl, instead, you were some old man disguised as a girl because there was no way a girl could ever look like that. Because there was no way a girl could ever carry that much, or run that fast, or act like that.

There was no way that you were a girl.

And so, not only did boys avoid you, but so did girls. Most people deemed you to be weird, abnormal, and frankly a little scary. The way you were framed, carried yourself, and looked was just too odd not to stare, not to gawk, and not to talk about. You were just so strong, so capable of crushing a bone to dust, and everyone knew.

Everyone knew that you were strong, not just by looks, but from personal experiences. You excelled in the physical arena and somewhat advanced in academics as well, but you really stood out on the court, field, or really anywhere where physical strength and agility were required. Even without thinking, you were capable of so much, so much more than everyone combined. You didn’t need to do anything, simply flicking a baseball would send it further than any major league ever has, or kicking a soccer ball into the atmosphere with a flick of your ankle. Yeah… your teacher knew that whenever you were put into a game, he wasn’t going to get a ball back, so you weren’t. 

Simple as that, you weren’t allowed to do anything, too harsh, too strong for everyone else. Your teachers knew it, your classmates knew it, and you knew it.

So naturally you were a repellent when it came to dating, not that you’re interested or anything. For sure, you’ve never thought of holding a boy's hand, or running your fingers through their hair while they rested on your muscular thighs, or going out to eat together, or going to the movies, or- 

Okay, maybe you’ve thought about it… but that’s normal! Everyone, at some point, wishes for some type of intimacy, right? Was it wrong that you wanted a boyfriend? 

No, it wasn’t, so when the foreign exchange student’s eyes met yours, you were a lost cause. At that moment, when he first walked into the room, taller than the average man, seemingly calm but a little lost, you were a goner. You were not obsessed, but extremely attracted to him. He was so different, and he didn’t know anything about your feats in strength, or how you may have broken an arm or two when you were younger…

He was your fresh start, your chance of having some normalcy throughout your chaotic life of training and searching for victory over it. Ah, right… You forget about it sometimes, how it’s stare seemingly never leaves, always observing, watching, and calculating. At certain times, you feel as if you’re on TV or something, as if you’re about to be PUNK’D. It never happens though... At this point, you’ve gotten used to it, accepting it, and now searching for it. 

Throughout your life, this thing, creature, man, or government has always watched over you, leaving you some money to pay the month’s expenses, keeping food on your table, and seemingly encouraging you to buy some heavier weights, which you ignore. Rather than the occasional envelope with cash on your doorstep or maybe the occasional fighter sent your way, who you suspected was sent by this thing, there was no contact between you and this creature. You didn’t know it’s name, why it’s doing this, or how it knows you. And it’s always been that way, and you’ve accepted it in your life, deeming that you’d crush it anyway. You never thought it’d ever reach out to you.

And let’s just say you were in shock when you were given a note, a piece of paper lying on your dingy, kitchen table. Though it was just a piece of paper, it was so intimidating, so threatening that you couldn’t help but lose your breath at the sight of it. It’s not that you’re scared of paper, but instead, what was written on it.

After seventeen years, what could it possibly have to say? Almost in the blink of an eye, you were standing over the paper. It was fancy, you noted, picking it up as you examined it, not even reading it. It was quality paper, as much quality paper can be, and it had a little emblem in the corner. That piqued your interest, getting closer you gasped, throwing the paper onto the table. 

Why the hell is the 5-7 Paulownia seal on this stupid paper? Picking the paper back up, you let your finger graze over the seal, solidifying that it was in fact the seal of the Japanese government. With a sigh, you decided to read the paper, trying to ignore that whatever has been watching you has some type of power in the government, especially if they have access to this type of material.

.

.

.

Stop with this girly bullshit. You’re a Hanma, you don’t settle, so quit it with that blondie and get used to it. Y.H.

Huh? Who knew such few words could cause so much turmoil? After all these years, this is the most you’ve ever heard from this thing, who may or may not be a government official, and happens to be an asshole as well. You couldn’t help but clench your jaw, crumbling up the paper as you threw it into the trash, not thinking twice. Grumbling under your breath, you rolled your eyes, deciding to cook some dinner. 

Who was this guy, and you assume it’s a guy because no woman would say that type of shit, to order you around as if he’s your dad?

Hanma, you think to yourself, sitting down with a bowl of soba in front of you, Pretty sure that’s the name of that one fighter… You looked up in thought, stirring the noodles mindlessly, feeling as if there was more to the thought, but you didn't get to finish it.

Knock 

Great, who could that be? To your surprise, and your heart's demise, you’re met with the so-called “blondie.” You smile, feeling yourself go weak in the knees as you looked him, creating some small chit-chat, feeling time fly quickly. And you almost cry when he asks you out, questioning your sanity when he tucks some hair behind your ear before walking away. You can’t even remember what he said anymore, was it the aquarium? Or was it the park? You, honestly, don’t care, just too giddy to express a coherent thought. 

The note no longer on your mind once you sat down, smiling at the bowl, mindlessly stirring as you sighed. For the first time ever, you finally have a shot with someone, someone who doesn’t care about how strong you are, how you look, or how others think about you. He doesn’t care if you’re taller, stronger, and could honestly beat his ass, he likes you.

So caught up in your thoughts, that you completely miss the dark aura looming through the window. A man with crimson hair, flowing down his back, and twirling through the wind as his bloodlust seeps throughout the city. His smile taut as he clenched his jaw, watching from afar as his kin wandered down the wrong path, not even paying any mind to his warnings, his cautions. Brown eyes trailed the figure of a giddy blonde, who pumped his fist in the air, too happy to acknowledge any peering eyes. 

With a sigh, the monster of a man followed after the stupid schoolboy. If no one was going to listen to him, then he’d just have to take action, wouldn’t he? After all, what kind of father would he be if he let his only daughter mingle with such pests who couldn’t even bruise her pinkie finger? 

What a stupid girl, He thinks as the breaking of bones and squealing gets lost in empty air, a disappointed frown seeping into his features.

[keytomind]

The passion in my head is too much at times. My senses become aroused as I get turned on by some of the simplest things. It can be the morning sunrise, or a happy dog walking past my front door, or the perfect dress as it falls flat and hugs the curves of the most beautiful female body. It can be a lovely couple, lost in the noise and alive in each other’s presence. It can be the smile of a harmless elderly man or woman who just wants to be seen. It can be the way a horse gallops across the farmland with the sun shining on its immaculate coat. It can be a child smiling at the color of a crayon. I swear it is too much at times.

The passion in my head would suffocate many of the people in my life. It is too much for the average person who chooses to harmlessly “go with the flow” without a fucking care in this world. Where they see nothing, I see beauty, honor, grace, humility, intelligence, confidence - I see a palate of emotions that have the ability to overwhelm me at any given moment. I cry at a meaningless scene in some Netflix-produced garbage that might make others laugh, at most. I become philosophical to meaningless questions that don’t even graze the surface of another’s ethos. I question the questions because I know that roots run deep and most are afraid to dig because they are afraid of what they might discover, and I yearn to get my hands dirty. I swear it is too much at times.

The passion in my head makes me believe that my talents are going to waste. I was meant to be a husband, a lover, a father, a good man, and I am sadly none of these things with the exception of the latter. I wish to be a protector to a beautiful woman who is as mad for me as I am for her. I wish to romance her in ways that she thought men were no longer capable of. I wish to give her the family that she never thought that she could have or that she deserves. I wish to teach her things about herself that she never knew or believed. Some women think that they need to be broken, but I only wish to set her free. There is nothing to break except for my heart. I swear it is too much at times.

The passion in my head is incredibly difficult for me to put into words. How does one explain what a simple glance from an attractive woman can do to me? A smile can inspire me to burn cities to the ground if it means to keep her safe and to call her mine. A touch… a touch can make my life flash before my eyes and leave me asking myself if this is who I have been waiting for all this time. Just her attention alone that makes me think that I am the only man in the world that she adores could inspire me to do anything required to earn her love. I want to read to her and make up voices for each character. I want to cook for her and feed her from my fork and spoon. I want to smack her and bite her ass every time she is making a cup of tea in her underwear because the sight of her flesh makes me as hungry as a starving fat kid. I want to wash, brush, and untangle her hair as I hug her waist from behind and randomly pepper her neck with soft kisses because I can’t fucking get enough of her. It is too fucking much at times.

The passion in my head might kill me some day, but is there any better way to live? It sounds like a glorious death if you ask me. It can be exhausting to go through life this way, but I am blessed to feel something rather than to feel nothing at all. I want life to matter and I want to give a damn, no matter how many times I may say otherwise. I want to give her the life that she has convinced herself that she doesn’t deserve. Passion is the fuel of life, and I wouldn’t have any it any other way. I can handle it. 🖤🖤

[lwyikas]

Art and Passion ft Kuroo Tetsurou

" There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people"

“Can you not look while i write?You’re distracting me”

“Rejected” he grinned while watching you take notes in your notebook. You don’t even remember if you offered him to come museum with you, but here. At least some of his perspective on works of art helps.He bends down to look at what you wrote and grimaces.

“I have endless respect for you being an art enthusiast but if people who keep history wrote like you, a third of history would not reach future generations.”He didn’t even try to suppress his giggle while commenting on your article with a serious and wise, rather convulsive manner.He adores nerve in your eyes and frowning, oh you probably want to put the notebook on his head.

“It has been proven that smart people write awful”okay maybe he’s right,But you won’t entertain him more by accepting this.

“By whom?”

“Your mo-“your little aggressive sentence was not complete with he pulling you under his arms and imprisoning you in his chest.

“I’d rather you express your love for me in a more docile way, and for God’s sake, why didn’t you complete this earlier?will we stay here until midnight?

“I didn’t bring you here by force, you can go if you’re bored”You whined while saving yourself from his arms and fixing your hair.

“No it’s late,maybe thieves will come to steal Mona Lisa after I leave? I have to be here to save my sweetie”

“You are quite a gentleman, but original Mona Lisa is in Paris”but the important one is thought, admirable.You’re gazing at him,He shakes his foot Non-stop, sighs every five minutes. You’re bored too, we need to add some color.

“We will have diputation with you about Van Gough, i need your attractive ideas follow me” your raise tone get his attention.He offers you an arm. “Care to join me ma'am?”

Your eyes are gleaming as you giving him cheering smile. “It would be my pleasure.”As you two were walking, crowd around museum was dwindling, it was impossible not to notice young girls glances at him around. You tightened grip on his arm and you couldn’t help but stealing glances from him.He’s so tall and handsome ass hell. Even if his black hair has a weird style ,it didn’t make this man less attractive, even a little bit. We won’t even talk about his hazel eyes. Be sure that it won’t be difficult to find adore in those eyes that always on you and soften with you every moment.He notices your gaze and a slight pinkness appears on his cheeks. But of course he will never give you this opportunity.

“I think this is the painting you’re talking about” He's so bad, but he does it so well. When you’re looking for something in your bag, he takes out his phone and checks the clock. 9:45. After training, he was still tired and really he wants just his bed and rest. And he was bored like shit. But he enjoys spend time with you, he wouldn’t wait 2 hours to examine ancient vases or old paintings for anyone else except you in world when he is that tired. He gets rid of his thoughts with small “yay”sound coming from you.You probably found what you were looking for.

“Couldn’t you look at these paintings on google?”

“Nooo,look there are more detailed articles about its history below, and if I did it at home, i would probably be bored, it’s fun to romance things” He smiled sincerity and scratch his arms over his head.”As you wish goody goody”

“Alright,this is ‘cafe terrace at night’, Vincent van Gogh’s painting with oil on canvas in 1888. Van Gogh used theme of the starry sky for the first time in this. Although the work, in which the night view of cafe is reflected, is generally dominated by dark colors, no shade of black color was used in the drawing.Instead, with preferred warm colors and depth of perspective, this painting is unusual for Van Gogh’s works.”You explained with excitement.

“Yes, when i look, i can definitely feel emotions.” It’s nice painting, but mixed colors, metaphors and so on, he can’t say he gets messages right.

“Really?”

“No”

“What do you see when you look at it?”

He turns back to painting and examines it.“Tables, peoples, buildings, and stars.I guess i liked starts more.The colors catch my eye, but I can’t say much in terms of emotion, it’s a peaceful picture.”he stated.

“Such wise words,you must be a work interpreter”

“I’m trying my best!”

“But you got a point, intense and contrasting shades of bright yellows and dark blue not only convey a sense of harmony, but also reflect the emotional state of the artist. The azure sky, illuminated by stars, acts as a contrast to the warm yellows of the cafe. The side-by-side collar of colors creates a dynamic tension between light and dark, reflecting the emotional complexity that often characterizes.”

“You’re very attractive when you speak wisely”

“Tetsu”

“Fine fine, there are no colors that are completely in harmony with each other, even if it took my eye at first, after what you said, it seems more compatible to me in this way. If contrasting colors were used elsewhere, it would probably be “help”, but this painting is in harmony, it is not boring and overwhelming.”He crossed his arms and nodded jokingly while explaining.

“So you’re saying when things are concordant and monotonous with each other overwhelm you?”

“Maybe,calmness and peace are good, but above all, the passion of contrasts gets me in one move.”You stopped for a second and keep going take notes of what he said.

“I would rather die of passion than boredom”

This is no longer about the painting. You can get from his gazes and tone . You both stand in silence but he can hear a lot in silence.You two look at art but there are completely different thoughts in both minds. His rough hand rubs slowly to yours.But you both won’t make a move for more.He tries not to show it, but his ears are pink.

“We can go now”

“Ha?”

“I did complete writing”You put your notebook to bag and he helped you wear your jacket.You always say that you could wear yourself , but he always tell shut up.It’s a small thing he enjoys in his own way, so you don’t find it necessary to oppose too much.

When you two out cold air hits your face. It’s already dark. God, how many hours have you been there? But the hours didn’t seem too long to you. You don’t think you’ll get a low grade from your work, but it doesn’t matter if you take it, you don’t change these memories with him for anything.

“Its awful that you finished too early, we hadn’t yet come to the part where I read love poems to you”You wouldn’t exchange his antics for anything.

“You have to rest then you can pour your love for me into serenades”

“Definitely i will”he grins and pulls you closer.Kisses your temple.You’re glad he didn’t see blushing on your cheeks or you thought he didn’t.You two walking towards bus stop.

Hand in hand.

[plutoenjoyer]

Hii, how do you think the members would react when they realize that a friend of their crush also has a crush on her? I hope you understood me 😣

hi anon!!! thank you so much for being my first request<3 so sorry this took so long 😭 i hope you still enjoy though its so so late !!!

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

xdh — finding out about a friend's crush on you (+ confessing)

genre: fluff as always, light angst (i love to see a man in emotional turmoil)

tags: drabble, ot6, female reader, jealousy/light possessiveness?, pining, starting as friends, friends to lovers, reader is shorter than them, confessions

warnings: none

note: reader is some sort of employee or person that works in their building or around the area for added context ... they see you often even if not directly working with them basically (vaguely gestures). and the friend is kiiiind of rude anyway so he doesnt deserve your time in the first place

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

gunil — tries to be respectful, succeeds. (and then fails)

perhaps he's very comfortable in his role as "the responsible one" as the eldest of the group. he tries to embody a role-model for his bandmates when he can, there's a very caring and deeply responsible part of him that naturally comes out. he is not known for being selfish. that being said, when he finds out one of your friends has a crush on you there is a deep urge in him to find you immediately and just confess all the feelings he's kept buried in him for months. it bothers him like mad, because he knows that he shouldn't get in the way of anything or anyone you might be vying for. what if you felt the same way about that friend? what if he made it difficult for you to choose him after confessing? what if he ruined his friendship with you when you didn't feel the same way? there were just so many uncertainties and not enough safety for his comfort, so he chose to suffer in silence, as he was used to doing.

there was a familiarity in being alone with his thoughts that he wasn't sure if he could find the courage to leave behind just yet.

he sits with this feeling for days. he tries to convince himself that he's simply content to see you at all, and wants to be happy for your happiness, though it is so clear to his bandmates that he's not his usual self lately.

it's not until he sees you with said friend that he can't help himself anymore. he hated that you were laughing with him, but he hated his lack of conviction more. he makes up his mind to tell you as soon as he gets the chance because the fear of rejection meant so much less to him than watching you get taken from him right before his eyes without doing anything about it.

and you—you're none the wiser about it all until gunil confronts you that night as you're heading home. the intense look on his face is something you've never seen before, passionate and desperate underneath the warm ambient light of the dimly lit room. it illuminates his face in a way that strikes through your heart. you always found him to be attractive, but tried not to let your feelings unfurl further since you knew that there was not a chance he'd feel the same way, not with all the projects and people he manages on a day to day basis. he was just too busy for romance. but right now in this moment, the way that his eyes are narrowed with a seriousness that you haven't seen from him before sends a shiver up your spine. and not just towards anyone, towards you.

he steps closer to you. you're basically backed up against the wall, your heart beating out of your chest. he's so close you finally get a good look at how his dark eyes are trying to find something in yours—answers. you can't help yourself from putting your hands on his chest and bicep to steady yourself.

"i... i have something to tell you." he speaks so lowly and so desperately it mixes in with the sound of his sharp breaths.

you can barely hear him because all you can focus on is the gentle curvature of his beautiful lips. he notices this, because with his hand he pulls your chin up in order to angle your face to meet his eyes, forcing you to see what sort of distress you've put him through.

for the first time in a long time he's wanted something, no, someone for himself, and you're about to find out what.

jungsu — tries to be respectful, fails immediately

jungsu is the sweetest guy ever. he's always looking out for others and wants the best for him. after finding out about your friend's crush on you, though, something takes over him. you wonder why he's suddenly being so much more attentive and sweet, way more than normal. comedically and somewhat pathetically (in a sopping wet dog with glassy eyes kinda way) offering to carry your things, buying you sweets, praising you—it was even a little much at times. you were starting to get a little annoyed, not because you didn't like it but because you were wondering why the hell he started acting like this out of nowhere.

it's not until you're out shopping with him that you start to connect the dots. you run into the friend-in-question and he sparks up a conversation with you, both of you completely unaware of the growing panic and jealousy growing in jungsu's mind.

to your surprise, the usually soft-spoken and patient guy interjects whatever you two were talking about and grabs your hand, hastily pulling you away into some other random store. at first you're worried that you did something to offend him, but then you notice the embarrassed pout on his face as you two slow down near some unassuming accessory store. he's chewing the inside of his cheek, wondering what possessed him to be so rude (he knows exactly why, he just couldn't stand watching you two get along and got swept up in his emotions). the people already in the store make some shifty glances at you two, some of the aunties even shaking their heads, going 'gosh, another lovers quarrel', but it doesn't reach your ears by how hard you're trying to figure him out right now. he has no explanation for himself, simply looking aimlessly at the assortment of necklaces on the racks and refusing to meet your eye. he doesn't let go of your hand.

"i-i'm sorry, i just ..." he's struggling so hard to find the words. he really should just come out and say it but that would mean confirming his feelings for you right here and now, and there was no way you'd accept considering what reckless thing he did just now. "you ... i just didn't want ..."

a beat of silence, and then a resounding 'oh' pops into your head as you finally realize that it was actually your friend that was the problem for him. you smile at his shaking visage. how cute.

what happens next is in your hands, the same ones that are fit so perfectly in his warm, nervous palms. you're glad the group of aunties left before you could do this.

the air feels electrifying. you pull him closer and stand on your tippy toes and he's watching you do this so adorably but it doesn't compute in his head until he finally feels the plush feeling of your lips against his, and suddenly he feels right again. this is what he's been waiting for this whole time.

gaon — gets clingy

jiseok has always been physically clingy. he shows his love and affection by quite literally hanging onto you, through hugs or wrapping his arm around yours. it is very casual and very natural for him to do that with people he loves. emotionally, however, he's a bit more withdrawn than expected. he likes his alone time. he likes you more. but, he is so painfully unaware of it. so when he finds out that your friend has a crush on you, the petty side of him that simmers at the surface of his mind really comes through without him doing it intentionally. it becomes an increasingly common occurrence for you to receive a text from him that goes along the lines of "are you busy friday? :)", or "there's a new movie i wanna see, can we hang soon?" because he thinks you'll genuinely enjoy what he had planned for you, and not because of any other reason.

this, of course, is his way of getting you away from that guy who's trying to get with you. honestly, he thinks he's boring and won't treat you right. there's really no one in your circle that he deems worthy for you.

you're more than happy to spend time with him. but it starts to get to a point where you're wondering 'what are we' when he starts to get a little more clingy, more so than his usual friendly self. his hands linger a little longer on yours, his eyes seem to follow your every move and he's smiling at you in a way that holds so much adoration that your heart starts beating faster.

when you text him that you can't hang because you feel bad you keep blowing off the friend-in-question, who had asked for your time today already, he sulks like crazy. he knows he shouldn't be so childish about it but it sucks because you're his best friend and you're wasting your time on him and he's going to confess to you and then you're gonna start dating each other and then you'll get married and go away forev—oh. oh man.

he quickly grabs his jacket and runs to your place before you can even think about leaving for your outing.

you see him show up to your front door and almost collapse to his knees, leaning an arm on the frame of your front door. "what the hell— jiseok?! are you okay?" and he's heaving so hard he can barely speak, "yeahi'mfineILOVE. YOU. ohgodmyribs. DON'T. GOTOHIM. i just. foundoutiloveyou. stay. right here". you can barely believe what he's saying, not only because he's huffing and puffing, but because you really had no idea he felt the same about you. the silence worries him because he looks up to see your confusion, or worse, hesitance, and through his labored breath and takes your hand in his. on one knee as if asking for your hand in marriage, "stay with me. please," and you can't help but laugh when it finally all clicks. this is such a dramatically jiseok way to profess feelings to someone. you're definitely gonna bring this up again.

but for now, with a bright smile, you give his hand a reassuring squeeze, "come in. let's get you some water."

o.de — kicks himself into action

finding out is a wake-up call to him. he kicks himself for getting complacent. it's not that he didn't think other guys would be into you or anything, just that he didn't think it would happen so soon. he put off his feelings for you constantly because he feared ruining things between you two, but now that there was another guy in your radar it meant that he had to be on high alert. he immediately starts thinking about the best way to confess to you, and fast because who knows if this guy is going to sweep you off your feet out of nowhere.

he's trying to plan something grand and a little cheesy because he thinks, no, knows that you deserve to be appreciated. he would yell his love for you from the rooftops if he could. he's thinking about it so much that you stop hearing from him for a couple days. his absence lingers in the air around you and you start to wonder why it feels so heavy without him around, because wasn't he just a friend?

you get your hopes up when your phone pings with a text—but it's not from seungmin. there's a dull ache in your heart when you see it's from the friend-in-question. you're disappointed but don't want to take it out on him, so you say yes to dinner. you go with him, and clearly he's trying to make a move on you by spoiling you with a nice meal and compliments, but you just can't get your mind off of seungmin and what he's doing right now. you end the date, which was more just like him talking at you, by rejecting him. you're wondering if he was just friends with you to try and get a chance with you, and it hurt a little.

then, it happens. your phone buzzes as you're about to leave the restaurant. it's seungmin. as soon as you pick up he sounds out of breath and desperate. "where are you right now?!" and you answer honestly, about the date and how it ended, and how you missed talking to him. "stay right there, i'm coming."

he picks you up from the restaurant, having drove there in a hurry. there's roses and chocolate on the dashboard as if he were going on a date himself and you know immediately who it's for by the look on his face and the slight sheen of sweat like he'd been worried sick about something.

there's not even a moment that passes while in the car before you both can't help yourselves anymore, having the first real taste of what you two felt for each other, sealed with a kiss.

junhan — withdraws himself

junhan has always been quiet, but you were starting to love getting to have late night conversations with him about life itself, your place in the the universe and who's your favorite character in dungeon meshi. he seemed to open up when he was around you and you loved getting to pick apart his mind. you felt that you both were able to keep up each other's intellectual abilities, and it was refreshing.

so when he suddenly reverts back to the shy personality he had when you first met him, you know something's wrong. you're trying to figure out how to confront him about it without making him curl back into his shell even more.

in his mind, on the other hand, he's doing you a favor. after finding out that your friend has a crush on you, the one that is so much more extroverted and good at holding up conversations, he thinks its best that he takes a step back so he wouldn't be taking up space in your life that could be reserved for your friend. he throws himself into work even more so than before, using it as an excuse to avoid you so it doesn't hurt as much when you inevitably start dating that stupid guy. but that doesn't mean he stops watching and analyzing, watching to see if that guy really, truly was good enough for you.

and of course, he wasn't. call it intuition or just plain logic, junhan noticed how he very often seemed to talk over you. it bothered him to know that there's a possibility that you'd be happier with your friend, but it bothered him more to think about you unhappy with him, because at least junhan would actually notice if you were.

that wouldn't do at all. while junhan is very rational he absolutely does not mess around when it comes to you. the friend-in-question is busy chatting away while you're forced to listen to him. you think he's a nice guy, but he was the type of person who was more used to talking at someone rather than to them. you never really felt heard when speaking to him, unlike with junhan who took every word you said into account, making sure you knew your thoughts mattered to him.

junhan, with tingling fingertips and an audacity that could only be stirred up by the thought of losing you, calmly walks up to you two. you wouldn't have guessed it took all his courage to ask "can we get drinks tonight?" and you're over the moon at the mere suggestion, "is that even a question?! of course, i haven't seen you around in ages!". your eyes light up with excitement, unable to stop yourself from excitedly rambling about how you really wanted to talk about some new manga that dropped during his absence. junhan smiles at you, half because he knows this feels right, like you both were meant to be together in this moment, and half because he loves the way that guy's stupid grin drops when he sees how happy you are to see him.

"so it's a date?" junhan says with a radiant smile, almost as if the guy standing next to you didn't exist. he was enjoying taunting this guy a little too much, he thinks to himself. your jaw drops a little at this unexpected confidence, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't want it to be. and so you shoot a quick, very obviously awkward glance at the so called 'friend', thinking about who you knew would treat you right, and turn back to say:

"it's a date."

jooyeon — makes it everyone's problem

when jooyeon finds out about your friend's crush on you he cannot stop from complaining about him to his bandmates. jiseok rolls his eyes hearing the groans from jooyeon, going for the millionth time this week that "he's just not right for her" and "he's not even good looking" and "she's way out of his league!" to lying in bed upside down with his head hanging off the edge groaning into his palms, "but what if she likes him though?! do you think she does?! is that why she hasn't been around lately? aghhhh, girls are so confusing. this sucks. wanna play league?" in which jiseok replies with a sigh, "dude, you could just text her and figure it out for yourself right now." and leaves before his head explodes from how much of a baby joo gets when he's frustrated about something.

when he's finally alone, jooyeon gets to sit alone with his thoughts. just pure and utter him, not the shining jooyeon on stage with his bass, and the thought of you, beautiful and kind, and how much he misses the sound of your pretty laugh. you're constantly on his mind. sometimes he finds himself idly smiling about some dumb text you sent him or the one time where you tried singing along to his strumming and it wasn't good but you gave it your all. it was just so you. you're his friend, yes, but he didn't realize how he felt something so much more for you until the idea of you not being around him anymore became a very real possibility.

the thought of you not being in his life wasn't even in the question for him. it breaks his heart to think of such a thing happening, that he wouldn't be the one making you happy but some other, boring, loser of a guy ... but he doesn't let the others know that part. deep down he's more insecure than he lets on. whatever exasperated complaining he lets out barely scratches the surface of the sort of emotional vortex swirling in him at this very moment thinking about you dating someone else.

when he sees you he makes it so unbelievably obvious, everyone around you two is betting on the moment that you finally realize. you're wrapping up your lunch together when he brings it up. "stoooop hanging out with him, he's boring and he only plays fps games, i mean come on," he's basically begging you like a kid.

you snort at him, "and you know almost every pokemon. he's not doing anything wrong, we all have things we really like." you're saying this to defend your point but in reality you also thought it was annoying that that was all he talked about with you and didn't seem to care about what you liked at all.

"yeah, well." jooyeon grumbles, pitifully tucking his head into the crook of his arm, leaning onto the table. he doesn't make eye contact with you, just pouting cutely. "heard he likes you, too... he's not special." the last part is almost unintelligible from the way he buries his head further into his arm as he says it.

that piques your interest. "oh? what was that? after the first part?" you know exactly what you heard but you just can't help yourself from teasing him.

"'ts nothing."

"joo." he refuses to meet your eyes but you see the tips of his ears reddening.

"i gotta get back to practice."

"joooooyeon. lee jooyeon. jooyeon of xdinary heroes. did i hear correctly? 'he's not special?'"

he's already walking off.

"joo, you know i'm going to the same place as you!" you shout after him. quickly, you shove your things into your bag and catch up to his rather hasty speed. you're giggling because you can read him like a book. that cute little pout on his face is all you need to see before you go to grab his hand mid step. he jolts a bit, not expecting your touch, before he eases into it and finally looks you in the eye.

"you ..."

shifting your hand so your fingers interlock, you smile at him, looking him in the eyes with earnest, "i like you, too."

in a few moments he's trying to stay cool and ends up failing miserably by how the corners of his mouth refuse to stay still. he can't help himself from breaking into a grin at those words. he would get to it later, be able to grandly profess his love to you like how he had imagined it going in his head, but for now he was content with this. simple and happy with your hand enveloped in his larger one.

it's by no means a scene out of a drama, but it was perfectly enough for the two of you.

(later that night jooyeon is so completely over the moon about being chosen. it feeds his ego BAD. you have to take him down a peg by telling him how he hasn't really properly confessed to you yet, and you are very entertained by how he stutters and struggles to say it to you directly after such a grand display of confidence. oh, joo ...)

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

masterlist | request rules | inbox

thank you for reading! <3

[softonshanks]

Hiya Sara! It's lovely to meet you, I was wondering if I could possibly request some romantic headcanons of Sabo and what kind of lover he would be with his partner! Thank you so much for your time I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Hey!! Thank you so much for your request, it sounds lovely. I'm actually a big sucker for Sabo, I can't help but think he must be a small ray of sunshine.

Sabo in a relationship:

Loyal and Protective: Sabo is incredibly loyal to his partner. Once he commits, he’s in it for the long haul. His protective nature means he’ll always keep an eye out for their safety, but he trusts their strength as well. He admires independence and sees his role as a partner, not just a protector.

Gentle Affection: Sabo might come across as composed, but with his partner, he’s surprisingly gentle. He’s the type to softly brush hair out of their face or hold their hand when they’re walking together. His touches are always tender, conveying warmth and care.

Great Listener: Sabo is an excellent listener. Whether his partner wants to talk about their day or share their deepest thoughts and worries, Sabo gives them his full attention. He values communication and believes it’s the key to a strong relationship.

Adventurous Dates: Sabo loves adventure, so he often plans exciting dates. Whether it’s exploring new places, plotting new plans together, trying out new foods, or sparring together, he likes to keep things lively and fun. He also enjoys quieter moments, like stargazing or reading together in a cozy corner.

Words of Affirmation: Sabo is a man of words, and he uses them well. He’s not shy about expressing his feelings, often telling his partner how much they mean to him. He’s the kind of person who leaves little notes or sends messages just to remind them that they’re loved.

Respectful of Boundaries: Sabo is very respectful of his partner’s boundaries. He understands the importance of personal space and is careful not to overstep. He’s patient and waits for them to come to him when they’re ready to talk about something difficult or intimate.

Strong Emotional Support: Sabo is emotionally mature and offers strong support during tough times. He’s the rock in the relationship, always there to offer comfort and advice. He doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations and encourages his partner to express their feelings openly.

Playful and Teasing: He has a playful side that comes out more in a relationship. He enjoys teasing his partner in a lighthearted way, especially when they’re feeling down. His humor is never hurtful; it’s always meant to make them smile.

Surprise Gestures: Sabo loves surprising his partner with small, thoughtful gestures. Whether it’s bringing them their favorite treat after a long day or surprising them with a spontaneous trip, he likes to keep the romance alive with little surprises.

Intellectual Connection: Sabo values deep conversations and an intellectual connection with his partner. He enjoys discussing philosophy, politics, and the complexities of life. He finds it incredibly attractive when his partner can challenge his views and engage in meaningful dialogue.

Protective Yet Encouraging: While Sabo is protective, he’s also encouraging. He believes in his partner’s strength and abilities and always supports their goals and dreams. He’s the first to cheer them on and the last to let them doubt themselves.

Sensual Intimacy with Sabo

Gentle and Patient: Sabo is extremely patient when it comes to intimacy. He takes his time, ensuring that his partner is comfortable and fully engaged in the moment. He’s attuned to their needs and never rushes, focusing on building a deep emotional and physical connection.

Respectful and Consent-Focused: Consent is paramount to Sabo. He’s deeply respectful of his partner’s boundaries and always ensures that they’re comfortable with every step they take together. He’s not afraid to stop and check in, making sure that they’re both on the same page and fully enjoying the experience.

Attentive and Observant: Sabo pays close attention to his partner's reactions. He’s incredibly observant and takes mental notes of what pleases his partner, so he can do it all over again and think about other and better way to make his partner feel good.

Emotionally Connected: For Sabo, physical intimacy is deeply intertwined with emotional connection. He sees these moments as an extension of their bond, a way to express his love and trust in a profound and tangible way. He’s not just focused on the physical aspect; he wants to feel emotionally close to his partner, reinforcing their connection.

Romantic and Tender: Sensual moments with Sabo are filled with tenderness and romance. He’s likely to create a special atmosphere—perhaps lighting candles or choosing a quiet, private space where they can be fully present with each other. His touch is always soft, and his kisses are slow and deliberate, savoring every moment. This won't mean that he won't fuck you senseless if you ask but yeah, you can't convince me otherwise, you'd have to beg him as he's a gentle soul.

Passionate but Controlled: Despite his calm demeanor, Sabo has a passionate side that comes out in intimate moments. He’s capable of intense feelings, but he channels them in a way that’s controlled and mindful. He knows how to balance passion with care, making his partner feel cherished and desired without overwhelming them.

Expressive and Verbal: While Sabo might be more reserved in public, in private, he’s not shy about expressing how much he adores his partner. He would totally not be able to stop whispering sweet words of affection or telling them how beautiful they are to him, enhancing the emotional and sensual connection between them, or repeating them how good they are and they feel.

Explorative and Open-Minded: Sabo is curious and open to exploring new experiences together, but he’s never pushy. He’s willing to try new things if his partner is interested, always approaching intimacy with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow together.

Aftercare and Affection: After moments of intimacy, Sabo is all about aftercare. He’ll hold his partner close, whispering reassurances or simply enjoying the quiet together. He’s attentive to their needs, whether it’s bringing them water, cuddling, or just being there for emotional support.

Thank you so much for the request <3 I hope you like this (:

[sammy-deserves-better]

Hey people who definitely didn’t follow me for my AUs here’s another AU I thought up on the spot!!!

Fantasy/Royalty AU bam lets get into it

Julia and Bowie are the princess and prince of the kingdom, as you do, it’s gay and lesbian hostility in that castle every day

Axel, Wayne, Raj and Emma are knights with Axel being the head of the knights, Emma is also secretly a florist because why not

Priya is the head of the guards while Caleb is the personal guard/advisor to the king

Chase is a travelling bard who loves to talk about his ‘amazing’ adventures of ‘helping’ people

Nichelle is still a famous actress but instead of movies she’s like, famous from plays and all that jazz

Ripper’s a barbarian that’s pretty good at his job, unfortunately he is not taken very seriously

Millie is a famous writer but she’s so damn difficult to find at times and only a few people know where she actually lives

Damien is a wizard’s apprentice, he’s still learning but he’s got some real talent within him

Zee is the court jester, he didn’t even like try out for the role he just started talking one time and the king thought he was hilarious

Scary Girl is a famous necromancer because she is, funnily enough, scarily good at her job

And MK, silly ol’ MK, is a master thief who is wanted all over the world, but can never be located, always managing to escape at the last moment

Alright here’s some more details yippee

Raj and Bowie are like, in love, obviously, knight x prince romance! Forbidden love that isn’t really forbidden but like it’s super cute and Raj is so smitten and Bowie just loves this handsome knight that would do anything for him

Wayne and Emma are friends here because I also think they’re silly, Wayne’s the only one who knows Emma’s secret florist job because she trusts him enough and also he accidentally found out but it’s fine!! But he also nearly gives away Emma’s secret so many damn times because he’s just a little bit stupid

‘Man I wish I could get Bowie a nice bouquet…’

‘Oh well Emma is actually a fl-‘

And then Wayne gets elbowed so hard he can’t breath for 2 minutes

Emma also definitely has a thing for the cute court jester but she has no idea on how to actually approach Zee so she just sends him flowers anonymously and sighs while looking at him lovingly

Julia and MK meet because MK climbs up the damn castle walls at 2am and sneaks into Julia’s room just to rob her, gets absolutely slammed by the princess, wakes up and is tied to a damn chair with Julia right up in her face about to rip her to shreds and all MK can say is ‘you are REALLY attractive oh my gods’

This throws Julia off, they start talking, Julia realises that despite the fact she is holding one of the most wanted criminals hostage in her room, she wants to keep seeing MK because she’s entertaining and mean and just slightly pathetic, so she lets MK go on the promise that the thief will come back every night and so she does and yadda yadda lesbians toxic yuri wins

Millie’s stories actually come to life because shocker she’s actually a wizard in disguise and she needs to be really careful about what she writes so that’s why she hides herself away and is so hard to track down because if the wrong people knew about her magic capabilities oh no that’s a lot of blood and injury and angst and 10k words every chapter

Millie’s parents also had this ability to create anything from mere writing, they shared this ability with the kingdom, and so if an important figure asked them to say…make a protector of the kingdom, they would do so, and they did, and that’s where our villain/antagonist comes in but that’s a story for another day

The older gens are also involved in this one way or another as well, most are just backgrounders but some hold important to the story

Damien is the wizard apprentice to Leonard and Tammy, two great and powerful sages who spend their time helping the world

DJ is the one who taught Emma how to be a florist, he’s kind and understanding and always helps Emma choose the right flowers to give to Zee

Eva trains Ripper under her watchful eye, she’s proud of how far he’s come, but feels he can do just a bit more

Aleheather are the king and queen of the kingdom, Bowie and Julia are their adopted children

And that’s all I got for now uhhhh add whatever you want to this it’s just a silly time

[tumbleweed-writes]

hi babe. from your smut prompt list can we have #50 #52 with Chibs? thank uuu

Homecoming: Chibs Telford X Reader

18+ of course.

=======

When Y/N had fled Santa Monica heading up north to the idyllic little town of Charming, she’d only had the intention of wanting to be closer to her older sister. Lyla Dovorak was technically Y/N’s half sister. They shared the same mother and were only a couple of years apart.

Lyla was barely two years old when Y/N was born. 

Their mother, Ruth, had a tendency to approach romance with the strange idea that perhaps getting pregnant with her romantic partners might keep them around. Of course this had never worked in her favor.

Ruth tended to pick men who were more interested in getting laid than actually sticking around after the afterglow faded. She’d not gone for guys who stuck around when things got difficult. 

Lyla’s father had left as soon as the pregnancy test had turned blue which had been a problem as Ruth had been barely sixteen then and her baby’s father had been about to turn twenty and according to Ruth wealthy enough to make it seem as though there was no way he’d fathered a child with white trash like Ruth.

Y/N’s father had not been much better. The man had run off with the single neighbor, who lived in the mobile home across from them, when Y/N was two which had been a problem as he’d  left Lyla and Y/N home alone for their mother to find after she’d gotten home from her waitressing gig.

There had been a revolving door of men after that, but Ruth had at least been done with attempting to keep a significant other via pregnancy. The men had not been the nicest and Lyla and Y/N had been forced to see a few things that they were not psychologically prepared for. 

Needless to say Lyla’s and Y/N’s homelife as children had not been without dysfunction. 

Y/N and Lyla had both long ago accepted that their mother’s choices were born out of a low self esteem and probably a bit of immaturity thrown into the mix.

The woman had mellowed out with age. Ruth had finally settled down with a decent guy; some trucker named Lou who was not entirely in the best of health, but at least treated their mother with respect and had been willing to take on two step daughters even if the women were grown adults and well past the age of feeling that they needed a dad. 

Lyla and Y/N had both unfortunately had their own unfair shots at love. 

Lyla’s ex had left when she was pregnant with Piper. Lyla had been a young single mom desperate to make ends meet doing something more profitable than waitressing like their mother had done.

Lyla had found that sex work was the best way to make ends meet. Working for Cara Cara was not Lyla’s dream career but she was smart enough to know that her looks could pull in plenty of money and she needed to strike while the iron was hot.

Y/N herself had always been the more reserved sibling. She was shy and less likely to ever be comfortable expressing her sexuality as openly as Lyla did even for a paycheck.

She’d taken a creative path going to cosmetology school and earning a license. She’d thought she could work for movie studios but had only landed a job in a nice salon. She did not do hair and nails for Hollywood starlets, but instead took care of upscale clientele.

It was a cushy job and she was well paid for her services. It was not what she’d been hoping for though.

Her romantic life had also been riddled with disappointment.

She’d dated immature guys who were not ambitious about anything other than playing video games all day or intense guys who only cared about hitting up the nightclubs and engaging in illicit substances. 

She had a tendency to attract men who did not respect her nor appreciate her attempts at love.

Her biggest disappointment had pushed her up north. 

Y/N had been engaged to a long time boyfriend who on paper had seemed like a great match. He was actually ambitious when it came to his career. He didn’t do anything more than enjoy the occasional glass of wine. He had charm and was conventionally handsome. He’d bought her a large diamond engagement ring and made all sorts of promises about the future. 

Unfortunately he had proven to Y/N time and time again that he did not appreciate her nor respect her. 

Their relationship had consisted of him breaking her heart repeatedly; claiming he was a changed man and then proving he’d not changed at all. It had become a cycle. They got back together, he cheated, he blamed her, she broke up with him, he came to her crying claiming he wanted to change, and she took him back. Then the cycle would start again.

Y/N knew it was pathetic taking him back over and over again knowing he would disappoint her each time. 

To be honest, Y/N felt nothing but pity for the girl she’d been back then.

The final straw had been her fiance fucking someone who Y/N had regarded as being her best friend in their bed. 

Y/N had walked in on it and that had been enough to end the cycle.

She’d taken off to the safety she knew her half sister could provide her in hopes that her heart would mend itself in a new environment.

She’d not been anticipating finding love. Love had been the last thing on Y/N’s mind.

Chibs Telford had not been looking for love either, so imagine his shock when he’d entered the clubhouse and spotted the pretty young woman playing red hands with Kenny Winston. 

He had gotten the strangest sense of fondness as he observed the young woman yank her hands back just in time to avoid having them slapped by the youngest Winston boy before Piper Dovorack had taken Kenny’s place proving that he did not have as quick of reflexes as his aunt.

Chibs had barely had a chance to question her presence as Lyla and Opie had entered the room making the introductions for him. 

Chibs was surprised to admit that he’d felt the strangest sense of relief at the realization that Auntie Y/N was not just here to help Lyla prepare for her wedding to Opie the next year, but was here to stay as she’d signed the lease on an apartment and had taken a job at a salon in town.

He knew he’d have to be blind not to admit that she was an attractive young woman. He had spotted an attractive figure even if she’d been wearing dark denim overalls and converse over a tight little tank top given that she’d dressed for comfort due to the fact that she’d spent her morning moving into her new apartment. She’d not been wearing a spot of makeup but he’d found she had an attractive complexion that showed a few signs of freckling due to too much sun. Her hair had looked soft and her skin had seemed as though it would feel pleasant under his touch. 

He’d felt foolish for admiring her as much as he had. He had a feeling Lyla would be displeased that he had been thinking about how soft and perfect her little sister would feel under his body. 

He’d been unaware that Y/N had found the older Scotsman appealing. He was not like any man she might have previously found alluring. She wanted to blame the accent, but she had to admit that he was charming. It was in the way he’d shaken her hand upon their introduction. A voice in the back of her head had insisted that it was obvious by the way he’d held her hand that he knew how to treat a lady. She’d found that he had a nice smile and kind eyes. 

She’d of course noticed the scars along his cheeks but had found that she could not find them to be evidence of danger. If anything it was a sign that he’d been at the receiving end of cruelty and she felt that she would be callous to make any judgment based on a past injury. 

A voice in the back of her head had told her that she might be kind of screwed when it came to a guy as appealing as Chibs.

The feeling had only grown when she’d realized how good Chibs was with the Teller and Winston children as well as her nephew Piper. There was something quite alluring about a guy who was good with kids. He was willing to goof off with them and show them affection and it was adorable.

Y/N’s trips to the clubhouse had become a little more frequent than she anticipated, especially once Gemma had taken a liking to her partially due to Y/N’s willingness to take Gemma on as a hair client and maintain Gemma’s highlights for a cheaper rate than she’d been getting at her previous salon.

It had also helped that Y/N had provided Abel Teller with his first haircut which had made Tara fond of her. Her willingness to trim hair for any Sons who might show interest had endeared her to the MC.

When Lyla visited the clubhouse, Y/N always followed. Soon enough Y/N had received invites without Lyla being included.

Chibs had told himself that he didn’t have time to focus on Y/N’s visits to the clubhouse.

Soon after the Sons' return from Belfast Ireland, the majority of the MC had been arrested and placed serving a 14 month sentence out in Stockton.

Chibs, Opie, Kozik, Piney, and a few prospects had been left to keep the club afloat. 

He’d told himself that any strange sense of fondness he felt for Lyla’s little sister was only a distraction from his responsibilities to the Sons.

He had to admit she was a glorious distraction though. He found her to be pleasant to look at and even more pleasurable to speak to. He’d found that he  maybe went out of his way to chat with her and flirt more than a little when she was around.

Much to his annoyance he was not the only one who found her to be a pleasant distraction. He’d noticed the heart eyes that Kozik and a few of the prospects had sent her way.

A couple of the non-patched club hang-arounds had also taken notice of Lyla’s pretty sister.

When one club hangaround had trapped Y/N in a conversation during a Friday night party, Chibs had swooped in and saved her from the conversation by insisting he had something to show her in the garage.

He’d had to present that something he wanted to show her as an innocent invitation to share a joint on the roof of TM Auto. To his relief, if she'd sensed he was jealous about the attention she’d been receiving from the men around the club, she had not called him out on it.

She’d maybe spilled her heart to him on that roof, opening up about the reason she’d moved from Santa Monica, the joint making her feel relaxed enough to be blunt. “Nothing prepared me for coming home to the man I intended to marry only to find my best friend riding him out in our bed. I knew something was going on between them with all the time they seemed to be spending together, but I was naive enough to hope that they’d just been trying to get along for my sake. I always thought they hated each other and were trying to get along because I’d assumed they both cared about me. They proved to me that they fucking got along alright. They’d been fucking behind my back for months. I wanted to drag the bitch off his dick by her hair. I wish I had yanked her out of bed and beat her face in.”

“What’d ye do?” Chibs had dared to ask, surprised to find that he felt a sense of hurt for Y/N as he listened to the story. He did not miss the pain in her voice. The thought of her feeling betrayed by two people she had loved bothered him.

“I just threw my engagement ring at them…and screamed…there was a lot of screaming.” She remarked, rolling her eyes.

She paused, shaking her head taking another deep hit off the joint before passing it back to him. “If I could go back, I would have at least trashed some of his things…maybe I would have scratched those stupid pans he’d never let me use…He was a chef, my ex fiance. He was really paranoid about me touching anything he bought for the kitchen. I should have taken a freaking SOS pad to those stupid pans and stolen some of his knives or something.  I was too hurt to be vengeful at the moment.”

“Aye, fer what its worth he probably wasn’t worth the energy. The real punishment is him losin a lass like ye.” Chibs blurted out the words leaving his lips before he could stop them.

The reaction she’d given him made his heart skip a beat. She’d leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek, her voice soft. “You’re a sweet man, Chibs Telford.”

“Filip, Love.” He blurted out thankful it was dark enough that she could not see the flush to his cheeks.

“Filip?” She dared to ask, he nodding his head the words leaving him.

“Aye, That’s my name…Ye can call me that if ye want.”

And she had taken his invitation to call him Filip not noticing the teasing comments it had earned him from his brothers who had overheard it nor the raised eyebrow from Gemma, Tara, and Lyla.

Chibs had wanted to make his move on Y/N more times than he could count but a voice in the back of his head told him that she was fragile due to how her last relationship had ended.

He’d told himself that he was in a fragile place as well. Fiona had just a month prior sent him a request for divorce proving that even with Jimmy O’ out of the picture that their marriage had no chance of continuing.

He’d signed the papers willingly but it had still been an upsetting end to a chapter of his life. 

He’d told himself that Y/N and he were both vulnerable and starting anything up with one another would be ruinous for them both.

The chance to challenge that decision had come when Lyla had shown up to TM Auto looking pissed off, the words leaving her lips as she stared up at Opie. “My sister’s fucking ex fiance showed up last night. She slammed the door in his face but he won’t get the clue. He’s practically harassing her at this point. She needs some back up.”

She’d barely had the chance to say the words before Chibs had been taking off towards his bike the words leaving him. “Where is he?”

Opie had followed Chibs, ignoring the exchanged glances among their brothers over Chibs eagerness to jump into action at the mere mention of Y/N being harassed by her ex.

When Chibs and Opie arrived at Y/N’s place they’d found her ex holding her wrist all too tightly, the pair clearly arguing as she struggled against the man’s hold.

Chibs had acted fast, stepping forward his voice holding a dangerous edge. “Ye best back off her, Lad.”

Y/N’s ex had stared up at Chibs and the kutte on his back, his eyes widening just the slightest at least smart enough to sense danger. He spoke trying to sound more confident than he felt. “This is between my fiancée and me.”

“Ex fiancée. I’m only sayin it one more time, Ye let go of her and get the fuck outta her life.” Chibs growled, stepping closer.

Her ex had proven that perhaps he was not as bright as he should have been because he released Y/N squaring up to Chibs forming fists. “Are you going to make me leave, Scotty?”

“Aye, I am.” Chibs had snapped, throwing a punch before her ex even had a chance to act.

There had been a few thrown fists and some chaos as the two men decided to have a full blown fist fight.

Y/N had done her best to verbally break up the fight but Opie had stepped in physically breaking up the fight. 

In the end, her ex fiance had been beaten down and freaked out enough to leave her apartment. Opie had followed to make sure that the guy left and stayed gone.

Chibs had wound up with Y/N pressing a bag of frozen peas to his swollen eye while forcing him to hold a bag of carrots to his knuckles. She had scolded him as she assessed his injuries.

He could still remember her words. “That was a horrible idea, Filip. How do you know my ex isn’t going to call the cops? Noah is a sore loser. He’s competitive. It’s stupid how competitive he can get. He doesn’t like losing. He wouldn’t even let me win at Monopoly. He has this stupid male pride that he refuses to set down for even a second. You beating the crap out of him is most likely just going to make him more determined to win me back because he can’t stand the idea of losing. If he calls the cops what are you going to do, huh? The last thing you guys need is another member of the MC getting in trouble with the cops. How could you do something so impulsive and dangerous and so fucking sweet?”

He’d decided that the best way to end the browbeating she was giving him was by leaning in his lips pressing to her’s, his voice sounding so certain. “I’m only sweet fer ye, Love. I think yer well worth the arrest risk.”

As soon as his lips had met hers she had returned the kiss the bags of frozen veggies easily forgotten.

The kiss should have been the step they needed to take to get together but his cell phone ringing had broken the spell they’d been under.

It had been club business of course.

As soon as the call had ended Chibs’ logic had kicked his romantic heart to the ground, a voice in the back of his head reminding him that Y/N was too vulnerable to fall into this with him. He was not going to use her as some rebound.

He was a criminal and he would bring her nothing but heartache, the voice had insisted. He was not the kind of guy who she needed to put her heart back together. 

He’d barely said goodbye leaving her apartment only blurting out something about the club needing him.

He’d ignored her after that. He’d ignored her for a month and it had broken both their hearts.

The invite from Lyla to another Friday night party had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Chibs had thrown himself into croweaters as an attempt to shut his stupid heart up over the subject of Y/N. It had not been working. Every woman he took to bed was compared to what he told himself he could have with Y/N. The croweaters paled in comparison to the wonders of Y/N. 

The sight of Y/N walking into the clubhouse with Lyla had been a bittersweet sight for Chibs Telford. Y/N had been wearing a little black mini skirt that made her legs look glorious and he’d wanted to go right over to her and drop down to his knees while begging her to give him a second chance.

Chibs Telford was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be though. He’d pulled a blonde croweater with impressive implants into his lap and pretended that he didn’t notice the hurt in Y/N’s features.

She’d told herself she was stupid for feeling hurt over him. Chibs Telford was just a man; a stupid attractive man with an accent she found comforting and a touch that made her heart do funny things. He was a man she’d felt so protected with. He was a man who had listened to her spill her heart about her ex over a shared joint. He was the man who made the prospects and club hang-arounds back off when they were getting too enthusiastic and obnoxious with attempts to hit on her. He was a man who made her laugh and was wonderful with her nephew and soon to be step niece and nephew. He was a man who she had previously viewed as being the sweetest man she’d ever met.

She didn’t know what asshole had body-snatched Chibs Telford, because his behavior over the last month had proven to her that he was not a sweet man.

She told herself she should not be surprised that Chibs had turned out to be less than what she’d hoped for. Chibs Telford was just another disappointment for her.

She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he had hurt her. She had welcomed Kozik when the blonde Son had taken a seat by her at the bar and had struck up a conversation with her.

She’d given him a tired smile between sips of her whiskey and cola as he leaned in and spoke to her. “You’ve not been around much lately. It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks now. Are you okay? I hope I’m not overstepping by commenting that you seem sad”.

“You aren’t overstepping. I am sad.” She commented, shrugging her shoulders, hating that she couldn't resist glancing Chibs’ way. 

She felt her heart twist unable to ignore that he now had a croweater on either side of him, his hands roaming their bodies, both women stroking his hair and his thighs clearly giving him the attention he wanted. The sight made her feel nauseated. 

Kozik caught her line of sight, moving between Chibs and her, as he spoke. “I guess that’s what’s been keeping you away…I figured as much. I’ve noticed he’s been weird lately, avoiding you. Anytime he hears you’re around, he disappears…if it's any comfort, Chibs is kind of an idiot. Not even kind of one, he’s a moron. I don’t think he’s worth the heartache, Babe. I know I have the reputation for not being the brightest guy around here or at least according to Tig I’m kind of a dumbass, but even I can see that Chibs has been a real dick to you for about a month now. He’s not worth feeling sad over if he is comfortable making you feel this awful.”

“You aren’t dumb, Kozik. I’m sure you’re right. I think I just got my hopes up with him. Isn’t the first time I got my heart set on some asshole and it probably won’t be the last time.” She commented having to admit that Herman Kozik’s words were comforting even if she was not entirely sure her heart wanted to believe that Chibs was a totally irredeemable asshole.

Kozik spoke nodding down to her almost empty drink. “Let me get you another.”

He waved at the croweater behind the bar who happily provided her with an overfilled glass. Kozik spoke again, his voice picking up a hint of confidence. “I promise I’m not trying to swoop in while you’re vulnerable, but I can promise you that not all guys in a kutte are total assholes. I think I’m a pretty good example, not to toot my own horn. Trust me, Babe. Maybe Chibsy just wasn’t man enough to admit that you’re a catch, but his loss could be my gain. No pressure, just saying, you’re a real great girl and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers.”

She was surprised by the laugh that left her, it felt good to at least know she was desirable.

Chibs’ clear rejection of her had wounded her ego. It had been bad enough that he’d been ignoring her after that shared kiss at her apartment. It had only felt worse to realize that he didn’t even have the balls to reject her verbally. 

He dodged her phone calls and disappeared the second she showed up at the clubhouse. She’d not missed how he’d seemed to have a croweater around more often than not the few times she’d dared to show up to a Friday night bash with Lyla.

She had thought about confronting him over what an absolute asshole he was being. She was not going to chase a man who didn’t want her though. She was done chasing men who didn’t appreciate her. 

It would be one thing if he told her the kiss had been a mistake and he wasn't into her. 

It felt worse to have him just treat her like she’d never been important at all. 

She had begun to question if there was something wrong with her. There had to be something fundamentally wrong with her if every man she attracted proved that he did not want her and preferred the company of other women.

She did not notice Chibs’ eyes on her as Kozik leaned in closer, the blonde reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she replied to the comment. “You seem like an alright guy, Herman.”

“Ouch, just alright, and Herman? Two blows in one compliment.” He was quick to remark the statement, working another laugh from her, making Chibs blood boil.

She rolled her eyes, the smile still on her lips as she spoke. “Hey, it is your name. For the record, I don’t think you’re swooping in. Maybe you have a point. His loss might be your gain. We might have to test the theory.”

A few of the drunker party goers had decided to take advantage of the low eighties love ballad playing over the jukebox in the corner of the clubhouse and dance.

Kozik saw an opportunity, he quick to speak. “Oh, I’d like to test it out, Even if I’m only alright? Do you think you might be willing to humor Alright Herman with one dance? You know, soothe my bruised ego?”

She found that she was caring less about Chibs and his croweater friends as she took Kozik’s hand allowing him to pull her over to join the other drunk slow dancers.

Chibs watched his blood boiling over as he watched Kozik pull Y/N close, his arms wrapping around her resting against the small of her back. He watched Y/N hold on to the man, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

They were pressed so close to one another and the sight made Chibs want to vomit.

He watched them sway they carrying on a low conversation that seemed to be working the occasional smile and laughter from Y/N.

A voice in the back of Chibs’ head told him that he had no one to blame but himself. He had pushed her away and straight into the arms of another man. He made his bed and had to lie in it now.

He felt a louder stubborn voice speak up insisting that no he did not have to lie back and accept the misery.

He had to fix this. He had to at least try to fix it.

He shoved the croweaters off him feeling disgusted that he’d let this go on for so long now. He was deluding himself into thinking he could fall back into encounters with croweaters as though it would silence his heart. His heart wanted what it wanted and he was just breaking it by denying it what it desired. 

He held his head up high making his way over to the couple clearing his throat louder than necessary.

Y/N gazed up at him, sending him a look that he was certain could kill him if such a thing were possible. She spoke disdain for him clear in her voice. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to ye.” Chibs blurted out cringing at the comment knowing that this was not the best way to broach this subject.

She rolled her eyes quick to respond, the hurt evident in her voice. “I’m busy, Chibs. You seemed like you were pretty busy too. You should get back to the croweaters before someone scoops them up. Make sure you use protection. There’s a strain of gonorrhea out there that’s antibiotic resistant. You might be an asshole but I wouldn’t wish an untreatable STD on even you. ”

Chibs grimaced at the comment part of him wanting to give up and admit defeat. He’d fucked it all up and she had no interest in him fixing anything.

He held back the desire to give up though telling himself that he had to man up and do what he should have done that day they’d kissed at her apartment. “I might be an arse, but I wanta explain myself, Love. Can ye give me the chance to at least do that. If ye still hate my guts after I talk to ye in private, then ye can come back in here and I’ll leave ye alone forever.”

She sighed surprised as Kozik pulled back from her the blonde looking just as defeated as Chibs seemed to feel. It seemed that the blonde Son knew he was attempting to woo a woman who belonged to someone else even if she was pissed at that someone else. “I’ll still be here, if you decide you hate him. I don’t want to stand in the way of anything. I’ll give you guys a moment.”

She sighed wanting to snap that she was sick of men telling her what to do. She wanted to snap at Kozik that he was betraying her by leaving her to talk to Chibs.

She scoffed, crossing her arms as she turned to head to the club’s entrance. She called out behind her, her voice annoyed. “Come on, Dumbass.”

Kozik and Chibs exchanged a glance neither sure who she was speaking to. With as pissed off as she seemed it could be either one of them. She rolled her eyes as she clarified. “Are we talking or not you Scottish idiot.”

Chibs stepped forward, his heart racing as he struggled to comprehend everything he wanted to say.

They’d made their way out to the cool night air settling against some picnic table as Chibs had spoken. “I know I hurt ye.”

“No shit.” She snapped, he cringing at the comment as she took a seat at the picnic table shivering in the cooler temperature. She should have brought a jacket.

He spoke again, a heavy sigh leaving him. “Ye seemed vulnerable, Lass and then there I was swooping in kissin ye.”

“I kissed you back. I felt far from vulnerable.” She remarked running her hands through her hair frustrated by the comment. Did he really think he was protecting her?

“Aye ye did. Didn’t mean I wouldn’t ruin ye though.” He remarked sitting down on the picnic table beside her thankful she didn’t shove him away.

She gazed over at him, confusion joining her irritation. “What do you mean by that?”

“I jus got divorced, Love. Ye jus ended a long term engagement. I was afraid we were seekin out a rebound in each other…and I ain’ the kinda guy ye should be reboundin with. Guys like me aint good at mending hearts. Figured we’d just break each others hearts all the more.” He explained as though it was the most obvious thing on the entire planet.

She rolled her eyes fast to challenge the statement. “It wasn’t a rebound for me, Chibs. I can’t speak for you, but I didn’t kiss you because I was looking for anyone to fill a hole in me that my ex left. I kissed you because I really like…I liked you, I really liked you. You were sweet and I felt nice around you. I felt protected when you were around. You made me smile. You were good to my nephew and my soon to be step niece and nephew. You are good to my sister, you treat her like family. I liked how good you are to the people you love. I liked the way you spoke about your daughter…how much you love her. You have a good heart. I kissed you because I had hoped I had a place in that good heart of yours.”

He felt his heart ache at the words a cruel voice in the back of his head taunting him with how badly he’d fucked things up the night they’d kissed. He sighed, his throat growing tight. “I’m a criminal, Lass. Pretty sure yer smart enough to put the dots together…ye have to know Lyla is marryin Opie and marryin into an outlaw club…I guess I told myself that even if it wasn’t a rebound that I thought ye deserved more than an outlaw biker.”

“That’s bullshit. If I deserve more then that means my sister deserves more. I’m not going to sit back and let anyone tell me that my sister and I are settling on less than we deserve. I am a grown woman, Filip. I don’t need any man telling me what I deserve or don’t deserve. I am capable of making that choice on my own.” She scolded him, her voice holding a hint of venom.

He felt his shoulders sink at her words having the sense to at least appear as admonished as he felt. 

He let out a shaky sigh spilling his heart to her all the more. “I know I made that choice fer ye and it wasn’t fair. I disappeared on ye…I threw myself into tryin to distract myself…let the club whores distract my heart from what I wanted. I never claimed to be a smart lad or at least one that aint prone to self sabotage. I really like ye, Love. All this fuckin distraction with the croweaters, it aint workin…It jus makes me feel more wretched. I know I’m hurtin ye and I feel like shite fer it. All my heart screams it wants is ye…and I royally fucked that one up. If I could take it back I would. I wish I could go back a month ago and ask ye out on a proper date…make it clear I wanted more than jus a kiss.”

“You can’t take it back.” She remarked her voice soft the words making his heart crack all the more.

He told himself that this was it. She was going to walk away from him. She was probably going to choose Kozik. The man was sweet on her. She was going to go with the Son who was sweet on her and leave the one who had hurt her in her dust. Chibs knew that he would have no one to blame but himself for losing her. He told himself he would have to sit back and watch his brother have what he had lost. 

She spoke again, taking him by shock. “Just because you can’t take it back, doesn’t mean you can’t repair it.”

She paused, spotting the look of astonishment on his face as he hoped against hope that she was going to give him a shot to make this right. 

She spoke, giving him hope. “This might be something I regret…don’t make me regret it, Filip. I like you…I still like you even if I’m really angry with you at the moment. I can’t tell my heart who to give love to though. Hearts are dumb like that. I am not saying that we’re going to be picking up where we left off…I am willing to let you try to win me over, just…just don’t make me regret this Filip. Don’t disappear on me again. Just be the man I thought you were; be the sweet guy who is willing to punch out my ex and the guy who kissed me like I was the most delicate thing on the planet. Be that guy.”

He reached out his hand grasping over hers the words leaving him. “Aint goin to make ye regret it, Love. I am goin to try so hard to be the lad ye hoped I was. I will do anything it takes.”

The soft kiss she’d pressed to his cheek had soothed his heart, promising himself to keep true to the words he’d said.

He had proven himself time and time again. He had proven he was the man she wanted him to be.

Soon after Opie and Lyla had married Chibs had enlisted Happy to tattoo a crow onto Y/N’s right wrist showing the world just who she was to him.

After a little over a year of dating and a choice to move in together, Chibs had given Y/N another token proving what she was to him.

The engagement ring was a delicate diamond on a silver band and it had been slipped on her finger with a nervous proposal from him and an enthusiastic yes from Y/N.

Y/N was pleased to say she’d found love with Chibs Telford. Her current fiance was a thousand steps above her ex-fiance.

Chibs Telford had proven to her that he not only respected her but he did not take any love she gave him for granted.

The affection and devotion she felt for Chibs had made the run Chibs had left for a week ago feel all the more soul crushing.

Y/N missed her fiance. She missed everything about him from the way his voice sounded, to the way he smelled, to the way his touch felt.

Her heart ached for him.

Her heart was not the only thing aching at the moment.

She was pleased to say that Chibs Telford was a phenomenal lover. She’d never been so sexually fulfilled in her entire life.

She had always been shy about sex, but Chibs had helped her leave her comfort zone.

The amount of toys they had in their nightstand in their bedroom proved that she had left her comfort zone.

One of those toys was currently sitting beside her on the sofa in the living room as she debated if she should settle on touching herself to mildly satisfy the sexual tension coursing through her or if she should just take a cold shower and forget it.

The toy was one of the very first toys Chibs had surprised her with. It was a simple vibrating wand.

He’d gotten it for her once she’d shyly admitted to him that she had never owned a vibrator of any shape or form. Her ex had viewed it as competition. 

Chibs had presented the toy to her, the words that left his lips sounding far too cheeky “I see it as more of a tool at our disposal, Love. I know nothin compares to the real thing, but I want ye to find all the ways ye can feel good. I want us to find em together sometimes too.”

The wand had been used pretty frequently both with and without him present. 

Other toys had joined the mix; a rabbit vibrator, a pair of vibrating panties that had originally been bought as a joke that had found some use, a jeweled little plug that made her feel so full when he buried it in her backside and buried his cock in her pussy, a pair of nipple clamps that featured a clamp for her clit which Chibs had shown her could be a lot of fun when he flicked at one of the taunt chains, a pair of cuffed restraints they’d both been strapped to their bed with, and an innocent looking blindfold.

Needless to say, she was feeling far less bashful about sex at least in the privacy of Chibs’ and her bedroom.

She sighed staring down at the toy only knowing it made her think of all the other toys in their bedroom and all the things they’d done with those toys.

She could distinctly remember the latest toy Chibs had brought home with him; a spreader bar that held her thighs open leaving her spread and presented for him even when he overstimulated her.

She moaned at the thought of him over stimulating her. The man would edge her with the vibrating wand for what seemed like way too long before finally giving her what she wanted. Once he gave her what she wanted though he would overdo it making her cum over and over again until she had more than enough.

He felt her clit throb at the memory of the last sexual encounter they’d had before he had to leave for a run to the Salt Lake charter.

They’d laid back in bed, his fingers buried in her crooked just enough to hit her gspot so perfectly over and over again. She had squirted. It was the first time she had ever done such a thing and he’d been far too smug even when he’d had to explain to her and reassure her about what had just happened.

She had been mortified sure she had wet herself and he’d proudly explained to her what he’d just managed to do to her.

Though her sister was very much involved in the adult industry, Y/N could admit she was a little more innocent when it came to that type of thing.

It wasn’t as though Lyla and she discussed Lyla’s job. Y/N actually tended to be pretty shy and naive when it came to certain sexual acts. She’d always felt nervous in bed and her past partners had not encouraged her to step out of her comfort zone.

So, she would absolutely be the first to admit she was pretty innocent when it came to several sexual acts and the possibilities available to her in the bedroom. 

It was something Chibs had found he viewed as adorable and alluring. He liked corrupting her just the slightest. He had shown her so many things about her body and what it was capable of and she adored him for it.

She sighed, pulling her damp panties from her body allowing them to drop to the floor beside her and yanking Chibs’ t-shirt over her head.

She dropped it by the panties running her hands along her body. She sighed, sinking into lust.

She imagined Chibs being here with her in the moment and pictured his low Scottish brogue praising her for being so good for him.

He remembered all the filthy things he whispered to her trying to make her blush “fuck that’s it, that’s my good girl.” “Look at ye, that’s my little slut.” “Gorgeous Lass, takin my cock like its all yer made fer.”

She ran a hand down her body sliding her fingers between her slit moaning at how soaked she already was. Her head fell back, her eyes closing as she sunk further into fantasy.

She thought of him kneeling between her thighs staring up at her as he ate her pussy like it was his last meal. The man had a gifted tongue and fingers. His lips were just as gifted too. He made eating her out a full mouth and finger affair. He didn’t care how messy it got or how much he moaned against her clit. He would practically rub his face against her center as he lapped at her eagerly. He never minded how drenched she’d get, seeing it as a reward for how good he was doing.

She blindly reached for her toy flipping it on its lowest setting running it along her breasts, her nipples standing at attention.

She remembered the last time he’d used the nipple clamps on her and the proud smirk on his lips as the buds of her nipples stood at full attention. He’d enjoyed the squeal that left her as he tugged at the chain connecting the clamps praising her for how gorgeous she looked.

She ran the toy down her body pressing it against her clit, taking it away just as quick it almost too much. She whined, tempted to go get her vibrator and ride that instead but decided the wand would have to do at the moment.

She felt so worked up she had the slightest feeling that any tiny hint of stimulation would get her there. 

She ran the toy back along her clit sliding it up and down it and along her wet slit a gasp leaving her his name clear on her lips. “Filip, Baby, oh fuck.”

She whined, keeping up the stimulation turning up the toy once she got comfortable enough with the current setting for it to no longer feel as good as she wanted.

She moaned, focusing more on her clit, the words leaving her, her mind only on one man and the thought of him inside of her making her feel good. “Filip, fuck yes. Your cock is so fucking good, so fucking big, yes, Baby.”

She toyed with her nipple tugging it with her free hand imagining his teeth and lips locked around her breast tugging at the nipple. 

“Filip, Baby, please. Oh my God, Filip. Fuck me.”

The voice that sounded out took her by shock, the toy falling from her grasp, her head shooting up and her eyes popping open. “Fuck, Lass. This is a fuckin beautiful welcome home.”

She stared up at her fiance, her cheeks flushed from more than arousal. 

“How long have you been standing there?” She sputtered out wanting to sink into the sofa cushions and disappear.

“Not long, long nough to hear ye praising how big my cock is though. Ye thinking bout me, Love? Ye playing and imagining me?” He asked in an amused tone mixed with a clear tone of arousal.

She spoke, deciding to be blunt despite any lingering embarrassment she might currently be feeling. “I've been horny all day, and I need you fix it"

“Ye have only been horny today, Love? I’ve been gone all week.” Chibs teased, unable to stop the groan from leaving his lips at her comment.

She gave him a smirk deciding to be a little bolder knowing it was not a lie. “Believe me, I’ve been aching for you all week. The second night you were gone, after we got off the phone, I took a bubble bath and played with myself under the running faucet. The night after I rode my vibrator while wearing one of your work shirts.”

“Fuck, Love. Ye didn’t call me durin this? I woulda given ye some encouragement and let ye know just how much I was humpin my hand over ye.” he exclaimed easily imagining all the scenarios she was describing to him.

She spoke spreading her legs further for him running her hands along her thighs teasingly as she spoke. “You didn’t find relief anywhere but your own hand?”

“Fuck no, Love. Ye know we have a policy of our own fer when I’m on runs.” He remarked her body and heart aching for him all the more.

She knew some ol ladies followed a what happens on runs stays on runs policy. That mindset did not work for Y/N and Chibs though. She had made it clear to him that her body was the only one he was allowed to find release in. If he strayed on a run, she was gone. Infidelity was unacceptable to her.

He’d been quick to reassure her that he had zero intention of finding release with anyone but her. He knew her past with unfaithful romantic partners. He was not about to make her experience that heartache again. He only had eyes for her and was not ashamed to admit it.

She spoke, her hands running up her body along her breasts, Chibs watching with parted lips he resisting the urge to lunge for her just yet. She spoke her voice needy. “I missed you so much, Filip. The toys are fun, but you’re better.”

“Aye, yer so much better than my hand Love.” He insisted his cock straining against his jeans all the more.

He’d been rock hard from the second he’d walked through the front door and found his fiancee playing with herself on the sofa moaning his name. It was not the welcome home he’d been anticipating but it was incredible all the same.

She spoke needing to say the words. “I need you right now, couch, kitchen floor, anywhere, just take me now."

With that he lunged towards her, dropping down to his knees, his lips meeting hers. He moved down her body at a record pace pressing open mouthed kisses to her skin praises and words of adoration leaving him.

He reached her bare center, his face burying against her pussy a pleased moan leaving him.

He stroked her slit with his tongue reaching up to spread her lips before diving in. He lapped at her with enthusiasm proving that there would be no slow work up or teasing on his end. He was determined to make her cum.

She whined his name, her hand pressing to the back of his head keeping him in place though it was clear he had zero intention on moving from her pussy.

His fingers pressed into her core, two and then three at a time, he thrusting them as he focused on her clit. He pulled his face from her pussy continuing to finger her as he spoke. “Fuck, yer so soaked. How worked up were ye, Love?”

“So bad, Filip. Been thinking about you all day. I missed you so much. Stupid Salt Lake taking you away.” She whined, the latter comment working a chuckle from him.

“Aye sorry, Lass. Some lads in the fuckin Salt Lake charter needed some straighten out it was makin shite tense between em and a few other charters. Clay wasn’t goin to let me stay home.” Chibs remarked a groan leaving her as she spoke. 

“You can talk club business later, Filip. Please don’t mention Clay or the Irish or any of that crap while your fingers are buried in my cunt.” 

He snickered at the comment nodding his head. “Aye fair nough.”

He reached down grabbing her forgotten toy, a smirk crossing his features. “Remember how fuckin shy yer were when I brought this home. Had to show ye how to use it to make ye feel good, had to encourage ye to get yerself off. Ye would start feelin so good and then ye’d get all shy and back off. Had to tell ye how fuckin stunning ye look when yer making that pussy feel good. Never thought I’d walk in ye playin with yourself so proud moanin my name.”

“I was thinking about what we did before you left. How dirty and good it felt.” She moaned, Chibs rewarding her with a nip to her thigh.

“Aye, it was so fuckin filthy, and ye loved it. Ye come such a long way from the firs time I had ye, Love. Ye look so innocent and sweet but we both know ye love all the shite I taught ye. Ye even learned a few things all on yer own, aye?”

She nodded her head frantically not helping but to feel herself preen at the praise in his voice over how much she’d figured out about her body all on her own. 

“I have, I figured out so many ways to feel good, Filip. Never felt so good in my life.” The comment earned another nip to her thigh followed by murmured words of love. 

He spoke, removing his fingers making her whine. “Relax, Love. Jus gonna play a wee bit. Then ye can have what ye really want.”

She didn’t have time to beg him to give her what he was promising right this instant as he pressed the vibrating wand directly against her clit, turning it up.

The action caused her hips to jolt forward, her head falling back a moan leaving her. He spoke, a smirk crossing his features. “Shite, look at ye. Such a sensitive clit, always forget how sensitive the wee bud is.”

She whined wanting to point out that she highly doubted he forgot. She couldn’t work out the words though he rubbing the toy across her clit in a circular pattern making her moan all the louder.

She ran her hands along her breasts tugging at her nipples, an approving groan leaving him “Shite, Love. Those perfect tits. Dreamed bout those tits on a nightly basis while I was in Utah.”

She gasped as he continued to toy with her his name sputtering from her lips. She may have been good with her toy, but Chibs was a master with it.

She pulled her hands from her breasts reaching out blindly wanting some contact with him. He reached up, with the hand that was not currently occupied, allowing her to lace her fingers with his.

He pressed kisses against her thigh as he continued to toy with her whispering words of praise to her perfect, stunning, hot, wet, incredible. 

She moaned, the heat beginning to build in her knowing she was risking cumming from this so quick. She had been so worked up and the toy was turned up so high, so much higher than she’d dare to ever turn it up. Chibs apparently sensed it he turning up the toy all the higher, his voice filled with praise. “Yer fuckin gorgeous Mo luaidh. Come on, cum on this toy and I’ll give ye my cock.”

She whined the words egging her on he not letting up turning the toy up to its highest setting her thighs quivering the coil that had been tightening up in her absolutely breaking as she fell apart against the vibrating wand.

She cried out as she came Chibs moaning at the sight wanting to commit it to memory. Her hips rocked against the toy eagerly, her thighs trying to squeeze together he keeping a hand on her thigh keeping her legs parted as he navigated the toy through her orgasm.

She whimpered struggling to pull back from him as she came down from her orgasm and the sensations became uncomfortable.

He pulled the toy back flipping it off a proud smile crossing his features at the sight of her slumped back against the couch, her body damp with sweat and flushed from arousal.

He took her by surprise as he spoke, giving her thigh a playful smack. “Turn round, Lass. On yer knees love, rest yer top half on the cushion.”

She moved her body feeling wobbly, her center aching for whatever he was about to give her even if she’d already cum once already.

She did as he instructed he rewarding her with a playful smack to her backside the act working a moan from her lips. He groaned, giving her bottom another smack to the other cheek his voice teasing. “Naughty Love. Shite, yer so ready to take anything I’ll give ye, Aye?”

“Uh huh.” She remarked knowing she was too fucked out and needy to form a more eloquent reply.

He leaned down, angling his body unable to stop himself from licking a long stripe up her pussy it looking so plump and inviting from this angle.

She gasped his name leaving her lips he speaking praising her. “Such a fuckin wet pussy.”

“Just for you.” She whined the comment earning her another smack to the backside.

He worked quick resting on his knees behind her, he losing his clothing. He stripped his kutte and shirt from his body, tossing the kutte onto a recliner by the sofa and letting the shirt fall to the floor along with his weapons.

He managed to kick his shoes off the action clumsy but she thankfully remained bent over the sofa unable to see how much he lacked grace in his movements.

He reached down, unfastening his belt and unzipping his jeans. He kicked them from his body allowing his boxers to follow along behind them.

He rested against his knees again taking himself in hand running his cock along her center coating himself in her wetness. 

A needy moan left the both of them at the action they both practically shaking with desire.

Chibs managed to speak as he positioned himself at her center gazing down at where their bodies were about to connect. “I love ye.”

“Love you too Filip, so much.” She gasped not having a chance to elaborate more as he pushed forward her hot wet center enveloping his hard cock.

He groaned as he entered her inch by inch his movements torturous, she resisting the urge to back up against him and push him along. 

She had a feeling such a movement would earn her a smack to her backside. She knew he intended her to feel every inch of him as he slid home.

He had missed her and wanted to appreciate the sensation of sliding into her warm body after a week without this.

He grunted as he finally thrust up to the hilt, her body feeling heavenly around his aching cock. She was dripping wet and she was so hot and silken around him that he almost wanted to cry.

He placed his hands on her hips giving himself leverage as he began to rock in and out of her finding a slow sensual pace making sure she felt every inch of him as his cock moved within her.

She whined digging her fingers into the couch cushions, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.

He spoke his voice gruff as he soaked up the sensations of her. “Jeysus, Love. Missed ye so much. Yer all I fuckin thought bout when I wasn’t doin club shite.”

“Missed you so much, Filip. Love you.” She managed to gasp the comment earning her a moan and a I love you in return.

She rocked back against him the sound of his skin meeting hers mixing with soft moans and praises from him. 

She soaked up his praise, the words washing over her like a caress: gorgeous, mine, my love, perfect pussy, best thing that ever happened to me.

She whined wanting to insist it was him who was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but the feel of him inside of her practically took her breath away. She had zero idea how one man could be so incredible in bed, though she knew he had plenty of experience under his belt.

The thought did not fill her with jealousy. She knew she was the only one who he took to bed nowadays. The thought made her feel cherished and adored.

She knew that no man had ever loved her as deeply as Chibs Telford. He made sure she was aware of this sensation of being loved each and every day.

He groaned the adoration he felt for her making itself known. “Oh, Love. So fuckin good to be home. One week was one fuckin week too long. Missed this pussy.”

“Just my pussy?” She teased the comment earning a smack to her backside, the sensation of pain mixing wonderfully with the pleasure coursing through her center.

“Missed all ye, Lass. Missed holdin ye at night. Missed kissing ye. Missed havin ye on my bike. Missed hearin ye laugh. Missed every fuckin thing bout ye.” He moaned his fingers digging into her hips as she rocked back against him all the more enthusiastically.

He rocked back against her picking up his pace the words leaving him. “Gonna fuckin make ye my wife soon. Shite, Love. Then I’m gonna fuckin miss my wee wife everytime I gotta leave fer a fuckin run.”

“Gonna miss my husband.” She gasped the comment, working a quicker pace from him, the words making him groan.

He snapped his hips against hers all the quicker his movements getting rougher the need he felt for her taking over the desire to enjoy the sensation of being inside of her.

She reached down finding her clit the action making the sensations washing over all the more intense.

He groaned as it hit him what she was doing, his hips speeding up at an even rougher pace. “Fuck yes, Love. So fuckin clever making yerself feel good on this cock.”

She whined at the praise she working her clit all the more enthusiastically knowing just how to move herself along closer to release.

She whimpered her toes curling at the pleasure coursing through her the mix of his cock sliding in and out of her at a more brutal pace and her fingers on her clit almost too much. 

She could feel her end building up in her once again that coil tightening inside of her threatening to snap at any second.

He spoke encouraging her able to sense just how close she seemed to be getting. “That’s my love. Shite, Mo luaidh. You gonna cum fer me? Aye, ye gonna show me jus how good I feel in ye?”

“Uh huh.” The words left her she once again too lost in lust to care if she sounded dense.

The orgasm hit her harder than she expected the waves of hot pleasure washing over her with incredible intensity, her center fluttering around his aching cock working praises from him.

She whined, falling limp against the sofa, her hand falling weakly from her clit as she shuddered from her release, she feeling like ragdoll at the moment.

Chibs took her by shock, pulling out of her a hiss leaving him as the cold air hit his cock.

He took her in his arms pulling her down to the floor, his lips pressing to hers.

He laid her back against the floor yanking a decorative pillow from the couch for her rest her head against. 

He positioned his cock at her entrance, his voice thick with lust. “Gonna fuckin cum fer me one more time, Love.”

She whimpered the words leaving her a whine escaping her. “I can’t, Filip.”

“Aye, ye can do it, Love. We’re gonna have a wee bit of help.” 

She furrowed her brow, lost as to what he meant by help but she got her answer as he reached out, finding the toy he’d already used on her pressing it between them.

She whined shuddering against him as he thrust his cock back home flipping the toy on making sure it was pressed against her clit.

She cried out the sensation so intense. She wrapped her arms around him digging her nails into his back wanting to reach for anything to steady her, as he began to thrust in her.

He grunted at how tremendously soaked she was and how he could feel the toy vibrating as he pressed his cock in her, the sensation feeling just as intense for him.

He spoke his voice gruff and demanding. “Yer gonna cum fer me one more time, Love. Yer gonna fuckin clench round this cock and let me fill ye up.”

“Filip.” She only managed to gasp, his demands making her clit throb her body promising she was going to give him exactly what he was requesting.

He spoke his words breaking he clearly struggling to hold out for her. “Fuck, Love. Is this what ye pictured while ye were…fuck…while ye touched that pussy…fuck, while I was gone, Aye? 

“Thought about how good you feel, thought about you taking me everywhere.” She gasped, causing him to nip at her neck.

“Everywhere, Love?”

She gasped, becoming too lost in pleasure to care if it was embarrassing. “At the clubhouse on the fucking pool table and at the bar, at the garage over the hood of a car, on your bike, fuck, in every room of this house in every position.”

“Fuck, Love.” Chibs groaned, turning up the wand all the higher causing her to cry out she knowing it would not be much longer.

She dug her nails into his back leaving scratch marks in her wake, her clit throbbing like a broken tooth against the toy her head falling back a cry leaving her.

He spoke encouraging her. “That’s it, Lass. Cum on this cock, Love. Ye look so fuckin gorgeous when ye feel good. Ye deserve to feel so good.”

The third orgasm of the night hit her like a brick to the head coming out of nowhere. It washed over with with intensity tears leaking from the corners of her eyes at how strong it felt.

The orgasm wracking through her frame was all it took for him to reach his own end his words filled with an equal mix of adoration and filth. “Fuck such a good girl takin my cum. Love ye, Lass. Shite. My perfect Love takin my cum fer me.”

His cock throbbed in her spurts of his release spilling into her with an magnitude that he was almost certain he’d not felt since his first few sexual encounters as a much younger man. 

He groaned against her his hips thrusting weakly as his release seeped from him in hot ropes making her whine her hands running up and down his back encouraging him as he found his release.

He felt himself relax against her his cock feeling spent and his body feeling heavy. She whined it taking him a moment to realize the toy was still buzzing away between their drained bodies.

He reached down whispering apologies and words of praise as he removed the toy flipping it off and tossing it aside.

She wrapped her arms around him, unwilling to have him pull from her just yet. Even as his cock softened and he slid from her his release seeping from her center, he refused to part from her just yet.

He rested against her she not caring if the weight of his body over hers was slightly heavy. She felt protected and adored in the moment.

He groaned, pressing his lips to her sweat damp skin whispering praises to her before she reluctantly allowed him to pull from her.

He rolled over onto his back not caring if the wood floor below them was hard and cold. He opened his arms for her, she cuddling up to him resting against his chest.

He ran a soothing hand up and down her back chuckling as he realized just how heavy her eyes were growing. “That’s my love, all fucked out jus the way I like er.”

“Missed you so much, Filip. Don’t leave again.” She murmured against his chest, sleep threatening to take over.

“Can’t not leave fer runs, Lass.” He responded, chuckling a bit at the low whine that left her and grumbles of it not being fair.

He pressed his lips to hers reassuring her. “Me leavin fer club shite jus means I get to come home to ye, Love. If ye keep welcomin me home like this then it’ll make me missin ye while I’m gone sting a little less.”

She shook her head a huff leaving her, she not helping but to tease him. “If you leave again anytime soon and I welcome you home like this again I have a feeling I’m going to be walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven.”

He chuckled at the comment pressing a kiss to her temple, the words taking her by shock. “Aye, can’t say I’d be disappointed if ye did.” 

She felt her cheeks flush at the comment, unable to deny that she wouldn’t quite mind it either.

She gave his shoulder a pat, her eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. “Welcome home, Filip.”

“Aye, happy to be home, Mo bheatha.” He remarked sleep flooding his own vision. 

He wasn’t lying, if this was how she welcomed him home then it would make the next run he was forced to go on feel far less miserable.

------

mo bheatha = my life

mo luaidh = my darling.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Just read your eridan essay. I left a lot of words in the tags (sorry about that btw. I'm @kitkat-not-karkat, those were my tags) and I just. Holy fucking shit man.

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS. Like. Genuinely. Thank you.

That said, do you have any ideas on why Eridan might specifically flirt as a sort of default response sometimes? (I really hope I'm not misremembering that, the fandom bastardizes the poor guy to be Cronus 2.0-)

I have my own personal speculation here, but I'd love to see your take on it!

I think it's a few things all working in tandem, and I think you definitely nailed at least most of it! I do agree that a huge part of his fixation on romance is the fact that a romantic partner is "supposed" to stick around, and Eridan is simply desperate for attention and friendship.

There are a lot of people who idealize relationships and believe that they're the "fix" or "solution" to their emotional problems, and Eridan's obsession with blackrom in particular (where the caligulas part of his trolltag comes from) definitely has shades of that. A kismesistude is an outlet for violent urges, as well as a romantic interest who ideally doesn't ghost you or leave you alone (cough Vriska cough), and one of the two concupiscent quadrants that needs to be filled so you don't get culled.

An interesting thing is constantly being implied within the comic, which is that moirallegiance is actually kind of the most important quadrant for trolls, but their culture has de-emphasized it in favor of the two breeding-related quads. After all, since adult trolls don't have to raise their own young, what Karkat calls "mating fondness" is biologically much less imperative to their species compared to the quadrant that keeps volatile trolls from going berserk and killing people.

Moirallegiance is always treated with a sort of mysticism - it's called "magical" by the narration in relation to Kanaya and Vriska's moirallegiance while that's still extant, it's the only quadrant described as "soul mates," and in contrast to "mating fondness," Karkat mentions the "mystical forces governing moirallegiance." Moirails - Equius and Nepeta being confirmed, but I genuinely believe that that's what Feferi and Sollux would have resolved to in that hypothetical golden ending - are also the quad that spends the most time together, rather than the two concupiscents. The initial description of the pale quadrant even outright says that the attraction is "instinctive." There's something magical and destiny-laden in a moirallegiance that just isn't there to the same extent in the other three quads.

But in Alternian society, kindness, guilt, and the other kinds of things you'd share with a moirail are considered weakness, especially for highbloods. When Feferi is breaking up with him, Eridan flips out the hardest at the implication that she felt the need to take care of him, insisting that he was perfectly fine. I think this is the reason, in addition to the painful breakup, that Eridan never pursues pale relationships, even though a moirail is what he desperately needs. Instead, he pursues the much more societally acceptible pitch quadrant, which can serve a similar purpose of discharging some of his pent-up aggression.

Moreover, his flirting isn't nearly as relentless as people think it is, although he IS both really stubborn AND really socially inept, which makes it difficult both to get a "no" through his brain, AND to make it stick. Another part of it is that he's operating at very little self-awareness, which means he'll often be doing something without consciously realizing it. Also, he's desperate as hell, and has basically no ability to differentiate good and bad attention. This leads to a pretty messy cocktail that basically means:

He'll hit on anyone at least once (desperation), with the exception of people it would be really weird to hit on, for example, their dancestors, who are way older than them.

If a rejection is not made excruciatingly clear, he probably won't register it as a rejection (dumbassery).

Nearly any attention he gets might be misinterpreted as flirting, even after a rejection is made (desperation, also, can't differentiate between good and bad attention).

Even after a rejection is made and he logically understands it and outright says he respects it, he might still act in a flirtatious way unconsciously (zero self awareness).

Because he will hit on anyone at least once, and is constantly making things weird and leaping to "romance?" even when there's no flirtatious intent, people kind of assume he's always hitting on them, even when he isn't.

His emotions always running at a fever pitch, and the lack of self-awareness he cultivates in order to help deal with his horrible cognitive dissonance, mean that even HE'S not sure about his real feelings. He's always feeling SOMETHING very, very intensely (it's the trauma and anxiety), which he mistakes for true caliginous hatred, or fevered flushed intent. Unlike Cronus, who's basically just trying to get some action, Eridan genuinely feels something for people, and his extreme lack of emotional intelligence means he has no idea how to parse his own tempestuous emotions. He always leaps to feverish concupiscent attraction because that's just how intense his emotions run at any given moment.

#4 is happening to Feferi and Sollux, IMO, while Rose never properly rejected him, so he still thinks they have a chance, and the same happened with Vriska when she started ghosting him post-kismesistude. #5 can be seen in his last memo with Karkat, where Karkat starts to wonder if past!Eridan was redflirting with him by inviting him to LOWAA, even as Eridan himself has no idea what the fuck Karkat is talking about.

Thing is, he DOES actually accept rejections once he gets them through his thick skull, which sets him apart from Cronus, who gets rejected, knows it, and keeps going. It's just... Eridan's messy. His emotions are all over the place, and too big for his stupid body, so he's always making things weird and intense.

I blame his lusus, personally. In a previous post, I talk about how a huge factor in his inability to identify negative attention is because he's basically being emotionally neglected. This has also led to his desperation for attention in general. When combined with the trauma from all the murdering and the pressure society puts on him to fit into a certain mold, it leads to some pretty explosive emotional ourbursts, of which his intense, insistent, and downright uncomfortable flirting is a major facet, but also, only a facet.

[spockiguess]

The Evangelical Counsels || Laszlo Kreizler x Fem!Reader || Chapter 2 - Another Meeting

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune / Chapter 1

Summary: The reader returns to Kreizler's Institute, but the meeting does not go as planned.

Warnings: Descriptions of Abuse, Mentions of Poverty, Homelessness, and Starvation Regarding Minors, Criticisms of Organized Religion, Mentions of Religious Grooming, Arguments, Romance Involving Nuns, Age Gap (~20s/~40s), Eventual Smut

Pairing: Fem!Nun!Reader x Laszlo Kreizler

A/N: Laszlo is depicted as an asshole in this because, well, he is one! I love him a lot, but he needs to work on some things...

The days that followed after your confounding encounter with the blunt Dr. Kreizler were slow and uneventful, which you came to realize over the years was a small blessing in your line of duty. Excitement in an orphanage wasn’t always positive, and it was better for the children if they were able to predict–and follow–a safe routine. It provided much-needed structure in their lives.

Nevertheless, you found your mind wandering in the few moments of solace throughout the day. Cleaning dishes was paired with meditations on the complex interactions you and the Good Doctor had shared, whereas changing sheets brought on vivid memories of his piercing eyes and scathing words. The wires within you became more fraught with each passing second you spent in your cramped bed. In those twilight hours, you would focus on one of the candles that dotted your equally diminutive room, absently watching the ember flame dance in the breeze that flowed from your open window. The fire provided the serenity your head needed to think about how the time you spent with Dr. Kreizler had forced you to question everything you knew while inspiring a searing heat to spark in the depths of your core.

This warmth that spread deeper and farther than any hearth might cause was wholly new to you. Not once had you experienced something like this, but due to the newfound sensitivity between your legs, you knew that it was something to vehemently detest. Mother Superior Ida had been encouraged on many occasions by St. Vincent’s Abess to violently discipline your peers if need be, with you only escaping by mere hairs. Watching the older nuns of the convent be flogged for “inappropriate behavior” around the men of the Church who happened to visit from time to time kept you dutiful on your path of pureness. You never touched yourself, let your thoughts stray, or even looked at your most private areas unless absolutely necessary. After that day, though, your discipline waned.

Dr. Kreizler was challenging, utterly unafraid of your position, and according to the stories you heard, cold towards most. The man countered your faith at every turn, intent on proving you wrong. He wasn’t the type of man you thought you would find yourself attracted to, if you could even act on those desires. No, Dr. Kreizler was difficult. He had a tendency to provoke people, much like he did to you that day, and ignore one’s feelings. And yet, Kreizler regarded children with a familiarity that was uncommon for men of his status. In the few hours you spent at his Institute, the alienist’s care for the wellbeing of his patients was made plain. Dr. Kreizler, at his heart, was a gentle man, and that is perhaps what drew you to him so much in the first place–his defiance of your expectations.

This all culminated in a flurry of emotion that pushed you to leave St. Vincent’s Orphanage on one of your off-days and make the trek to the Kreizler Institute once again. Without the fear that urged you to take this path originally, you were able to mull over your actions, causing you to stumble into strangers on the sidewalk and nearly pass the Institute altogether. Once you righted yourself faced the creme-colored steps of his facility, a wave of hot shame flooded your senses: what were you doing? To allow any sort of attraction in the first place was already an ample mistake, but to seek the object of your attraction out like this was deplorable. You were already wed to Him, any other being should pale in comparison. Despite this, you still had questions that needed to be answered.

Just as you began to make your way up the steps, one of the enormous wooden doors to the Institute swung open, a tiny woman appearing just behind it.

“Oh! You must be Nunny!” she proclaimed in a mousy English accent.

Pausing, your brows knit together in a tight line as you stammered, “I’m sorry, you’re one of the staff here, correct?”

The woman was wearing the garb you found common amongst the staff who worked behind those doors, and she swung her head down to look at the uniform, too, “Yes. I apologize, Sister. Dr. Kreizler said that’s a nickname the children often refer to you as.”

Another type of embarrassment painted your features, and you huffed indignantly as you drew your scapular up again, “It’s alright, the children find it easier to remember.” You weren’t sure if Kreizler using the name to describe you was supposed to be demeaning, or if he genuinely didn’t remember your name, but it stung, nonetheless.

The woman who stood behind the entrance pushed the heavy door further, waving a hand to welcome you in, “Would you prefer I call you something else?”

Now indifferent to the title, you relented, “No, Nunny is fine,” and continued into the building.

Unlike the previous time, there weren’t any children to be found playing inside, nor did you see any staff surveying the space. It felt oddly empty, and you shuddered at the silence.

“Where are the children?” you asked hesitantly.

The woman who was currently leading you down one of the main paths to Dr. Kreizler’s office pointed down a branching hall you passed, “Everyone’s gone outside to play, Sister. They’re happily enjoying their weekend activities.” You sighed a breath of relief before resuming your route.

Eventually, you were met with Dr. Kreizler’s office door, the opulent gold plaque freshly lacquered since your last visit. The woman knocked twice before twisting the similarly gold handle, leaving you to confer with the alienist who waited inside.

Kreizler sat at his desk, furiously scribbling in one of the many notebooks that cluttered the surface, “Is something the matter, Lottie?”

Unsure of how to respond, you waited until Dr. Kreizler glanced upwards, taking pause at your unexpected presence.

“Have you just arrived?” Dr. Kreizler queried.

Nervously running one hand over the other, you explained, “Yes. I was already at the entrance when one of your staff greeted me.”

The man squinted his eyes, something you now figured a tic, “How convenient. I had just sent Lottie to retrieve you.”

You swallowed, stepping back a pace, “I’m assuming Mona requested a visit?”

“Indeed. She’s in the courtyard with the rest of her peers,” Dr. Kreizler waited a breath, “You came here for a different reason?” The air in the room began to still, and part of you wished to leave in that very instance.

“I apologize. I know you’ve only allowed my presence for visits with Mona, or if I need help with another child,” you paused as well, this time for different reasons, “I’m not here to preach gospel, Doctor.”

This only further intrigued Kreizler, his diligent fingers pensively stroking his beard as he pressed for more information, “Then I must ask the same question as I did before: what is the purpose of your visit?”

You were cornered, literally and figuratively. The lining of your throat dried uncomfortably while you struggled to form a coherent response, “I’m not sure how to classify this visit, Dr. Kreizler.”

Kreizler beckoned you to sit with a single hand, “Indulge me, Sister.”

That single sentence reignited the flame you had been feeling ever since you left the Institute before, and without much thought, your feet carried you to one of the velvet chairs opposite his desk.

Carefully sitting down, you adjusted your tunic to retain as much modesty as possible, despite the vulnerability you felt in this moment. All the while, Dr. Kreizler raptly studied you like one of his patients, the very act feeling immodest itself.

“So, why did you seek me out, if not for Mona?” The question came from him easily, as if there wasn’t a double meaning to his words.

You didn’t dare meet his gaze, instead picking at the skin that surrounded your nails, “I do not know where else to go,” Dr. Kreizler waited as you collected your thoughts, “You have inspired questions that I do not know how to answer, which has only brought about more questions.”

Kreizler’s voice was an octave lower as he leaned back in his chair, resting a hand on one of the armrests, “You can’t consult your superiors?”

“They would punish me, Doctor,” you admitted shamefully.

A deep hum resonated from Dr. Kreisler's chest, “That must be the reason behind your change in demeanor today. I remember a quite brazen young woman from our last visit.”

A tense silence permeated the room, suffocating you under its weight. Dr. Kreizler was right, which added to the immense guilt you burdened yourself with. You've come all this way from St. Vincent’s to satisfy a foolish infatuation and seek guidance over something he despised with his entire being. How could a self-proclaimed atheist possibly help you reconfigure your relationship with God?

“I should have waited for Lottie,” you said to yourself, voice trembling.

Kreizler clicked his tongue in annoyance and stood without warning, quickly making way to the door behind you, signaling for you to leave, “Then you are wasting my time, Sister. If you have nothing of note to share with me, please wait with one of the staff for Ms. Walker.”

You were confused, how could he turn from addressing you with some modicum of kindness to treating you like a disturbance. Overwhelmed, salty teardrops began to fall into the open palms of your hands. Feeling lost again and in desperate need of understanding, you looked up and out of the shimmering window that sat behind the doctor’s desk as you questioned, “Did I really choose this life for myself?”

Another pregnant silence followed before you heard the door abruptly close. Soon, Dr. Kreizler was behind his desk and waiting for your next confession like the men of the cloth you had run to previously. Perhaps Kreizler’s unique disposition might be what you need in this moment, rather than the absolution the men on the other side of the confessional booth urged you to seek.

“You were right. I had never questioned His teachings. I hadn't thought that possible. But when you exposed such a blindspot in my beliefs, it led me to doing that very thing,” you avoided Dr. Kreizler’s stare, too raw to face it now.

“Now, I am unsure if my choice to take the vows was entirely my own, or just a symptom of being raised by the very women I have become.” A weight lifted from your shoulders and the bind suffocating your heart eased with the admittance. Even voicing your doubts to someone who wouldn't punish you for doing so was relieving.

Ever serious, Dr. Kreizler spoke evenly, “You must not have had many choices, Sister.”

The title of Sister was blistering now, and you recoiled at the sound, “When I began my teachings, it was with the motivation that once I was of age, my health and safety would be guaranteed. I had no other skills to depend on.” The rosary that laid beneath your tunic began to burn your skin, the cloth which covered you only intensified the feeling.

“You acted out of survival, then? Not out of an innate devotion to God?” Kreizler asked.

Tears blinded your vision, “I think so.”

“What would you have done if your needs were satisfied?”

You stayed silent, only speaking when you were certain enough you wouldn't burst into pathetic sobs, “I would have liked to work in an orphanage, just as I am now. I've always loved children.”

Dr. Kreizler tilted his head slightly, his eyes regarding you with the utmost pity, “And to think your life wouldn't have been so different had you picked a different path.”

Swallowing a hard lump, you blinked the remaining tears away and swiped the evidence of your pain from your hands, “Perhaps, but there is nothing I can do about it now. As much as anyone else, I am still burdened with the duties of my service, and it would be selfish of me to abandon them.”

The alienist leaned forward, almost conspiratorially, “Would you leave your convent, had you the opportunity?”

Color drained from your face and you clenched at your stomach, praying for the visceral sickness that boiled there to go away. You would be shunned by your Sisters, the only family you’ve ever known. You wouldn’t be able to continue your work at St. Vincent’s, where so many children are in desperate need of your help. The Lord would rebuke you as His wife and cast you to Hell once your life creeped towards the inevitable.

Startled, you fought back, a distinct sadness plaguing your voice, “I can’t do that.”

Kreizler, a man not ashamed of his ability to inflame, pestered, “”You can’t, or you won’t?”

“My Lord would abandon me, just as I would do to him if I entertained that prospect. I’d be a disgrace to the people I serve,” you argued, clinging to what you’ve been taught over the years.

“The only thing that restricts you from living the life you want is shame? You criticized others for using religion to justify their own despicable behavior, now you are doing the same!” Kreizler’s voice began to rise, the conversation flipping on a dime as his own frustration became evident.

“How am I the same, Doctor?” You asked indignantly, offended at the accusation.

Dr. Kreizler stood up, perching a hand on his desk to loom over you, “You are living a life of shame for a God you don’t even love–that is pathetic! You are no different from a starved animal clawing to survive.” His words dripped with bitter venom, and it stung against your flesh.

“I did what I had to do! I help people, Doctor! That is my freedom!” You stood, too, stepping closer to the edge of Kreizler’s finely carved desk.

“And what freedom is that, Sister? I help people, as well, do I not?” Kreizler’s accent thickened with menace.

You snarled, closing the gap between you and the Good Doctor even more, “You have always had the means to do such a thing! No matter what, you have been afforded protections that people like me are forced to live without–how we choose to live our lives is none of your business!”

Kreizler ignored your rebuttal, “These are fickle excuses and you are smart enough to know it, Sister. Do you want to live this life?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you said in an instant.

“I will ask again, do you want to live this life?”

“Of course not!” You yelled, inches away from Kreizler’s face.

An eerie silence followed before you found the confidence to speak again, voice broken, “I have given up so much, Doctor. I have lost the future I always dreamed about–and while I would help people in any lifetime–I want a family. That is the life I want to live.”

Kreizler, still maintaining the short distance between you, spoke gently, “Then why not go after it?”

Backing away somewhat, you issued a deep sigh, “I do not know how I would do that, and I am too much of a coward to face the wrath of my superiors, should I make a mistake.”

“So you will do nothing?” His words were foreboding, like thunderclouds reigning above crashing waves, eager to swallow you whole.

You didn’t allow yourself to speak on the subject anymore, having already said far too much, “I’m going to wait for Mona, Doctor. Thank you for your time.” In a second, you were out of the office and retracing your steps to the hall Lottie pointed down earlier, your smile bittersweet once the courtyard came into sight.

Soon, you were reunited with Mona, who was thrilled to see you. Already, she looked livelier than before, the hollows of her cheeks beginning to round out. The two of you spent most of your visit playing all of Mona’s newly-favorite games, most of which included some theming around horses, and you couldn’t have been luckier. Keeping your attention on the girl brought you back to your usual, joyful self, and you were able to momentarily ignore the humiliating spat you shared with the Institute’s resident alienist.

Eventually, Mona led you back to the dormitory she now inhabited, her bed occupied by a certain furry friend while her chest brimmed with clothes and toys. She urged you to sit on the edge of the mattress while she went through each toy she’s received, finally making way to the plush rabbit that rested against her pillow.

“And this is Nunny. She’s my favorite one,” Mona said through a big grin, holding the rabbit out to you.

Your heart clenched and you took the stuffed animal in your hands, brushing its floppy ears from its face, “You named it after me?”

Mona bobbed her head, holding her hands behind her back in the cutest way possible, “She’s a bunny, and bunny rhymes with Nunny.”

Gobsmacked, you sat the bunny to the side and brought the girl up to place on your bouncing leg, “It rhymes? You must have learned a lot since being here, sweet girl.”

Mona giggled, “Uh huh, he’s been teaching me himself!” In the farthest reaches of your hearing, you picked up on the sound of a doorknob twisting ever so delicately, followed by a soft creak. You reckoned it was a door just outside of the room, ignoring it for now.

With a knowing hum, you questioned the girl, “Dr. Kreizler?” Mona nodded again, situating herself closer to lay on your chest.

“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s a very caring individual–I knew he would look after you,” you didn’t entirely know why you were speaking the man’s praises, but you couldn’t help it, even with what transgressed earlier today.

Dr. Kreizler might be hard on you and most others, but he had a painfully obvious soft-spot for children, no matter the guise he might put on.

“He even plays with me. A lot of my friends say he doesn’t do that often,” Mona’s voice began to get quieter, and sneaking a glance downwards, you could see her eyelids become droopy, no doubt a warning your visit was coming to an end.

“Well, you’ll have to thank him for me, Mona. I’m extremely lucky to have gone to him when I had the chance.” Mona didn’t respond, and you could only guess she had fallen fast asleep.

Leaving her there for a moment, you glanced around the room, intently studying the crude drawings that lined the walls. When your gaze fell on the door, you noticed it was left ajar, and you faintly wondered if you had forgotten to close it before you came in.

[legacyofthedamneddsaf]

Hey hey! First off, I love this AU to absolute pieces. It's so damn fun to watch/learn about.

Second of all!! Is it okay to have everyone's pronouns and/or identities?? I just wanna know, not just for the sake of curiosity, but also so I don't misgender them when rambling about the AU(/pos) to some people

mod talk under the cut!

Sorry this is so long, they're all just terrible and complicated people who have horrible messy relationships with everything. They require intense explanation!!

Legacy: he/him. Also responds to it/its, but wouldn't necessarily label himself that way if asked. Otherwise, he doesn't care much for labels. OOC, he's acespec but doesn't put many restrictions on who he's interested in - he's kind of a slut that way.

Dave: he/him, although he doesn't care too much. Like Legacy, he's unlabelled. His standards are basically "anything that moves," but he's pretty arospec - the only person he'd consider maintaining a serious connection to is Legacy.

Henry: will only accept he/him, he finds anything else very disrespectful. He's bi, but he's not really interested in romance or sex right now, he's too married to his research. (And, like, his dead wife, also.)

Peter: he/him. He actually labels himself! He would call himself transheteroflexible, he just doesn't talk about it all that much. He's got bigger issues.

Blackjack: responds to any pronouns, but if you asked he'd say he/him. He calls himself gay as an umbrella term, but doesn't have any more specifics than that. OOC, he's probably on the arospec!

Dee: she/they lesbian. (she's just like me fr!) She gave a lot of thought to this while she was distracting herself, so they would actually describe themself that way! I personally think she worries a lot about counting as femme or butch while also not having the best conceptualization of either identity. But at least we have lesbians in this godforsaken world.

Jake: if you ask, he'd say "he/it," but he only uses it/its in the fucked up way where he feels like if he chooses the dehumanization then it's totally fine and he actually doesn't care. So, out of canon, he/him! (note: I'm absolutely not saying it/its is inherently dehumanizing, both the other mods use it/its!! I just think Jake has problems in his mind.) He's really repressed about his sexuality, he's (regretfully and messily -s) been with Legacy but his emotions on that are so complicated he tries and fails to absolutely never think about it again. What he has going on with Roger is a lot less fucked up, but he's still weird about it. I don't think he'd call himself any kind of queer, but he's probably bisexual.

Roger: he/him, but he's dabbled with she on occasions. He thinks he's completely romantically destitute and nobody will ever love him, so he hasn't bothered with putting a name to his sexuality, but he's the kind of guy to say "everyone likes men, that's normal!" He is in for some incredibly eye-opening months with the Damned for sure.

this emotionally stunted man is going to go the fuck through it in possibly the worst time and place for it. oh well! -s

Harry: he/him, he'd call himself bi. He knows this because he had a thing with Joe, and he assumes that attraction to women is a universal constant even though he personally leans heavily towards men.

the ancient greeks would like this guy i think -h

Steven: he/him, gay, he's probably the only person here other than Dee to have a solid concept of their own identity! Shoutout to Steven for being uncomplicated

and that was "2 ppl who dont really label themselves or have strong ties to their queer identity try to figure out how a bunch of other ppl would feel about theirs," as translated by arden. you could say that we write what we know -s

yeah, the mods are all different flavors of aro/acespec and genderweird. it's all so difficult forever

[blakeswritingimagines]

Poly-dating Jacaerys and Cregan

Dating Jacaerys and Cregan is a unique experience. They are passionate, caring and protective partners, and they are always willing to go the extra mile for those they love. They enjoy having deep conversations and spend a lot of time getting to know you. They are romantics at heart but not afraid to show their playful side. With both of them, you will never have a dull moment.

Cregan is not always easy to live with. He can be cold and calculating. He is a difficult man to know and to love. He requires loyalty and devotion but if you can withstand his moods, his distance and his occasional silences he can be a very dependable and honorable partner.

Dating Jacaerys is an unforgettable experience. He is a kind, generous and loyal person. He is an excellent listener and he values communication and honesty in a relationship. He can also be passionate and spontaneous. His relationship with you is something that he treasures greatly. He is always eager to learn more about you and to spend quality time together.

It’s like walking on a tightrope dating both of them. You have to balance two different relationships and their expectations. Although Jacaerys and Cregan may seem like very different people, at the end of the day, your love for them is genuine. You’ll have to believe that they are both capable of understanding that you have complicated feelings for both of them, and hope they can make peace with that.

In addition to the deep conversations and quality time that you all spend together, one thing that they both really enjoy doing is going on walks together. Whether it’s through the city, around an ancient castle, or even just around town, walking with each other helps them to get out of their heads and experience the world in a brand new way. Spending time with them outside is always magical.

Jace’s love language is physical touch. He enjoys expressing his love and affection through hugs, cuddles, and other expressions of physical closeness with his partners. He also appreciates being shown affection through the same acts, as it gives him a sense of security and warmth in the relationship.

Cregan’s love language is mostly acts of service, though he does also enjoy quality time with his partners. He is always looking for ways to make your lives easier and show you both how much he cares. And, when you all are spending time together, there is nothing that he enjoys more than watching them smile and laugh.

Dating you has an experience like no other. They fell in love with you from the moment they set eyes upon you. Your time together was filled with passion, laughter and romance. They cherish every moment spent with you. You all shared a deep understanding of each other and your relationship became stronger over time. Your time together was also filled with love and affection.

It’s… complicated, to say the least. Having them both at your side has been a great honor and a privilege, but there are times when the attention of one causes the other to feel jealous. It doesn’t help that they’re both so attractive and capable as well. You are a lucky person to have such wonderful suitors, but it can get a bit troublesome at times.

Another great thing about dating both Jace and Cregan is the communication and trust that they promoted. You are all very understanding and accepting of one another, and you all share your thoughts and feelings openly. You’ll feel like you could talk to them about anything, and they would always listen and understand where you are coming from.

Cregan has a particular kink for outdoor sex, knowing that the chance of someone walking in or seeing you both turns both him on. 

Jacaerys often likes to spice things up with a few toys, such as handcuffs, blindfolds and vibrators. And of course, they love to add a little role play to the mix, playing out your fantasies of being police officers, spies and other characters that make sex that much hotter.

They enjoy being in control at times as well, and making you behave in certain ways to please them. Cregan can be quite creative in how he disciplines and punishes his partners, sometimes even using different types of pain.

Jacaerys also gets turned on by his partners being flirty with other people, especially if you are teasing and playful in a way that makes him jealous. Cregan likes the idea of using blindfolds, handcuffs and other restraints to heighten his senses and heighten his pleasure.

They both also enjoy playing with your hair, kissing you on your neck, whispering in your ears and just generally being sensitive to your needs.

Being a bit of a voyeur, they enjoy watching you undress and get ready for the day. The anticipation of knowing that they will see you naked later always gets them excited.

They love playing with you in the shower, using the soapy water to make it more fun and teasing.

Jacaerys likes being in control but also enjoys when his partners take command and lead him to pleasure.

They also enjoy watching you play with yourself and tease you as you reach an orgasm, knowing it builds anticipation and makes for an even more intense release.

[starsoftheeye]

i keep thinking about my "samcelia relationship of convenience turned real relationship" post because think about it

imagine celia ripley, no stranger to the way the world works, making her way to a goverment job to gather information on whatever messed up shit the magnus institute had going on, and maybe figure out how she got to this universe in the meantime, expecting to keep her head down as to not attract suspicion, just doing her job with the occasional researching of specific files when nobody is looking

when on her first day she meets samama khalid, a wet cat of a man who either has a crush on her or is an extremely nice person, and after an apocalypse the latter is hard to believe now. and at first she feels a little bad, because yeah unrequited love sucks and all, and its not like he isnt a nice guy, but she really doesn't have the time for that right now. so she keeps looking into the magnus institute

until she finds out about his past. and thats when the cogs in her brain start turning. its morally dubious, but most things at the oiar seem to be, and shes not afraid of hurting a few feelings to get what she wants

so celia and sam start going out. he's excited, and she cant stop herself from feeling just a little guilty, but the flirting comes fairly easily to her and she needs any information she can get her hands on, so she pushes it aside. kindness wont help her here. it certainly didnt help the archivist, even more trapped than she is

so she plays the role of the girlfriend. flirtatious comments here and there, enough physical contact to maintain appearances, smiles when he thinks she thinks he isnt looking. pulling all the stops from all the generic romance movies she doesnt remember seeing

and it does prove useful. its helpful to have someone else on her side of things, even if they arent fully aware of it. shes getting more information now, more than she could've on her own, and sams still none the wiser.

it feels nice, to have someone in her corner. she has georgie of course, but she cant talk to her about the statements, and the less she knows, maybe the better. and she plays the part of the sweet office girlfriend well. she comforts and supports when she can, the hands on his shoulders she uses to steer him in certain directions are as gentle as she can keep them while doing what needs to be done. its a little awkward for her at times, but shes definitely been through worse

and it does get easier. sams sweet, and hes difficult not to like. he cares for her, genuinely cares for her, and she cant help but return the favour at times. he makes her smile, even sometimes when he isnt looking, and somehow, even when she is so out of place in this world, she feels less alone with him

she still keeps her hands on his shoulders, never willing to give up the opportunity shes been given, but its different now, and she wonders if when hes given her all the information he can whether she can keep her hands there, no steering or pulling, just gentle touch, and the question of what will become of him when she has all the information he needs becomes a little harder to answer. then one day she kisses him, and she wonders when exactly she stopped pretending

[ladypiscesmoon]

Update Matt Bomer & Jonathan Bailey

Tumblr allows only 10 pictures at the time, that’s why there are none of the last two asks.

*reading is alleged/for entertainment purposes

Fairytale Lenormand:

Ring, letter, birds, fox, lilies, rider

Thoughts: conversations, communication, Written conversations, suspicion about a conversation, communication for selfish means, passionate conversations, conversations about sex, open communication, making promises, contract

The love angels oracle deck: redirect your thoughts, actions speak louder than words, open your eyes, reconciliation, engagement, have faith

situation love deck: coffin, soulmates, teddy bear, paradise

The romance angels oracle cards,: trust, heart to heart conversations, worth waiting for, children, calling your soulmate, stay optimistic about your love life

Love oracle cards island time wellness: seduction, the dragonfly, the golden mirror, the snake, ascending

the hermit tarot: now is not the time, there is someone else, I never imagined perfection, I have so much desire for you, you make my heart full, maybe

They seem to be a lot in contact, texting, ringing, being open and vulnerable with each other. I think Matt's not too careful at the moment, so his husband may suspect something is the matter.

They seem very committed to each other, both of them feel like they have never felt anything like this before. It's difficult for Matt, but he knows his marriage no longer exists. He feels like it has run it course and he wants out. He hesitates because of his family, especially because of his children. But he's very unhappy. He feels like a snake (sneaky) talking to Jonathan sneakily. But he doesn't want to stop.

Everything with Jonathan feels right. Again, I pulled soulmates, twice with different decks. they are willing to wait for each other, Jonathan especially gives Matt space and time to come to terms with his conflicting feelings.

So, summarizing, they still have very strong feelings, are actually in a lot of contact with each other. Matt feels conflicted still, but knows he has to make a decision. They will have a wonderful relationship when Matt comes to terms with his situation and walks away.

Questions:

Are they emotionally and physically compatible? A: 6 of wands, ace of swords, five of swords reversed. Wellness oracle: separation, passion. Yes they are, they would have a very good and peaceful yet a passionate relationship. It's just complicated by the circumstances of Matt not being a free man.

Are they sexually attracted to each other? Will they end up together in a relationship? A: Yes, they are. I have pulled for their sexual attraction in this reading. They will end up together when they figure everything out and Matt is honest with his husband.

Are they in love? A: Abundance, blowing kiss, five of cups reversed. Yes, they are very much. But for Matt there are still a lot of obstacles and fear of leaving something familiar. Also grief of letting it go.

Does Matt's husband know? A: seduction, shock, the butterfly, self-indulgence, coffee cup. I think he suspects something. Matt's distracted and stand-offish. His husband tries to be nice, but Matt feels trapped.

Is Jonathan dating or sleeping with anyone? A: the star reversed, 3 of swords reversed, 8 of cups. Not at the moment, no. He's really in love, hoping they'll work it out. Trying to have faith Matt will choose him and leave his bad relationship behind.

How long will Jonathan wait for Matt? A: I pulled a time card, but as ever: don't put to much faith in it, energy changes all the time. So, it's hard to predict. Temperance, justice: As long as he and Matt are in a good place, he will have hope. He knows Matt just needs some time.

What kind of connection and love do Matt and Jonathan have? A: They are soulmates. I have pulled a soulmate card in every reading I did for them. Twice, this time. They have never felt anything like this before.

Will they act together again onscreen in another project? A: two of cups, the tower reversed, the hierophant reversed. They would love to and in future they might. Or come together in a different project, not necessarily acting together. Could also be something close to their heart, like a charity.

Will Jonathan win an Emmy for Fellow Travelers in this coming September? A: 6 of wands, 5 of wands. 6 of wands indicates triumph, 5 of wands competition. So, it's unclear. I can check again closer to the date, but you'll have to remind me.