#like it’s very sweet of her but I want her to go have her own party with her friends bc she doesn’t do that super often

[mv1simp]

That Boy Is Mine ♥️

Max Verstappen x Siren!Reader

that boy is mine, I can’t wait to try him, watch me take me time, boy is divine (that boy is mine)

As a young, beautiful and rich CEO living in Monaco, you have any man you want in the palm of your hand. But a certain handsome Dutchman has caught your eye…there’s just a small problem of his current girlfriend that’s in your way! You’ll just have to prove to Max how much better you could spoil him.

Content Includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, seductress! girlboss! Reader, naive!max, infidelity but Max’s unnamed gf is annoying anyway, size kink, Halloween costume sex lol, seriously explicit cheating don’t read if not ur thing!!!

The thing was, you wouldn’t normally ever go to such lengths for a boy. Why would you? You were a pretty girl in her 20’s living in Monaco, running your own successful public relations management firm. That’s how you’d met Max, through a PR crisis of Redbull that Christian Horner had personally called you to get sorted. Some drama with a defamation lawsuit against their poster boy, Max Verstappen, who you hadn’t paid a second of attention to despite living in Monaco. You were much more likely to get your nails done and enjoy a glass of wine than be following a race weekend.

But after you’d easily sorted the mess out, you’d been suprised to find Max himself patiently waiting in your luxurious office, wanting to thank you with a gift of tasteful French wine. It’s rare for one of your clients to take accountability for their actions instead of letting their managers sort it out for them, after all. You don’t miss the way Max’s pretty blue eyes widened as he took in your appearance, with a tight black dress with lacy sleeves that did wonders to push your tits up temptingly. He’d been expecting some old man, not a beautiful girl his age. He cleared his throat nervously, suddenly finding it hard to maintain contact with your sultry eyes as he stuttered his thank you. Cute, you think with a tilt of your head, enjoying his deep Dutch accent. He’s very different to the arrogant, pompous personality you’d expected from a champion F1 driver. And he was insanely gorgeous too, all 6 foot of thick thighs and broad shoulders. You’ve met many attractive men in Monaco and flirted your way around them, but Max catches your eye with his baby blue eyes and soft blonde locks. So you can’t help gently brushing your manicured hand against his bulging bicep, looking up at him with fluttering lashes to say it’s so sweet of him to go to all the trouble to come downtown, really, you’re happy to help him anytime!

He walks out of your office with your personal phone number for any media emergencies, of course. As well as a blushing face and a semi erection he guiltily tugs at his pants to hide, after looking down to see your plump, soft cleavage when your smaller body pressed up against his.

A quick google stalk of your client leaves you feeling very annoyed when you discover he’s not single like you’d originally hoped. You roll your eyes as you look at the B list model’s Insta he’s dating, spammed full of photos of her with Max’s wins for clout or artificial brand collabs. So tacky and undeserving of someone like Max, you muse later that evening over an espresso martini. You’re too deep in your own thoughts to pay attention to your date with a Monaco hotel chain owner that evening.

When you find a massive bouquet of roses on your desk the next day, you assume your date was being persistent despite your disinterest last night. But when you find VIP tickets to Max’s garage next race and first class flights nestled amongst the red flowers, you’re even more intrigued. You attended, out of curiosity more than anything. You’re not planning on getting involved with an already taken man - far too much drama for the CEO of a media relations company.

But you can’t deny Max knows how to give a girl princess treatment, something which you’d gotten used to providing for yourself since no man had been able too. From the relaxing, personalised flight experience, to the sleek expensive Mercedes he’d had sent to pick you up at the airport, the 5 star suite in a hotel, and to the exciting VIP lounge at his garage filled with interesting people you’d easily networked with. And when you see Max confidently dominate through the track to P1, sounding so sexy over the radio without a hint of shyness, pulling off his helmet afterwards to show off his gorgeous, messy hair as he adorably smiles at you to ask how you’d enjoyed the day, you realized this wasn’t just any man. No, Max was the one, the perfect man to provide you with whatever you asked for and take care of you when you needed him.

Not that you needed him to. After all, you were well known as one of the most successful businesswomen in your country - and you didn’t get that title without a pair of fangs to match. You’d be a true power couple - much better suited than his current subpar girlfriend, who dragged him down in every way.

You’d made up your mind. That boy was destined to be yours, no matter what.

So you began developing your relationship with Max and become frequently seen on the paddock, all under the guise of improving his media image, of course. The handsome blonde had no issues spending time with you, finding you to share his sarcastic sense of humour and in awe of your very keen analytical sense that you easily applied to the racing world as well. He liked how you were unfazed with the media circus that surrounded him, too, not blinking twice when trashy gossip magazines posted suggestive captions about you and Max. And you always seemed to know just how to carefully phrase your words assertively when asked insensitive questions by grid reporters, who were curious about Max’s new PR advisor. It was very different to what he was used to with his girlfriend, who frequently fed into gossip column content with Insta posts and livestreams - which constantly annoyed Max.

Soon you’re a regular amongst his group of friends. You meet his girlfriend, finally, at a dinner one night. She’s taken her hold on Max for granted, barely interested in you as she snaps selfies with the more famous people at the table. You can’t resist the foxy smile on your glossed lips - it’s almost too easy, given how unaware she seems of how discontent Max is with the relationship. You sit next to him all night, laughing and sipping your favourite wine that he now knows by heart and orders for you, the conversation genuine and a bit too flirty for “just friends”. And when your lace minidress rides up, and your soft thighs and crossed ankles brush against his muscular legs, he doesn’t move away, letting you press against him for warmth when he rests his large palm around your thigh. Your panties are soaked through by the time you get home from how often you had to clench your legs, imaging his massive hands drifting just a bit higher…

It’s easy to blame the touchiness on the alcohol the next morning and strictly maintain your professional distance as you hand him paperwork to sign in your office. You smirk when you catch his eyes in a passing mirror, glued to your ass through another tight lace dress as you walk away in Louboutin stilettos. Max was very much an ass man - that is, when he wasn’t being a tits man. You certainly had no qualms showing off your thick curves to him, knowing you had a lot more to offer than his girlfriend. It was impossible to miss the way his blue eyes would drift towards your tempting body whenever he thought no one was looking.

So next weekend, you invite him onto your boat for a day trip. It’s much smaller than his personal multi level yacht, but perfect for what you had planned. It’s a nice touch to have all your coupled up friends with you, who disappear off to various rooms in the boat as the sun gets hotter and they get drunker. You hand Max another strong G&T you’ve mixed yourself, now just alone on the top deck with him. He takes it easily, telling you you’d make a deadly bartender. You hmm, resting a knee on the couch he sits on. It’s a manoeuvre that brings your bouncing tits, barely covered in a white skimpy bikini, right into his eyeline. Max takes one look at your nipples pebbling through the fabric, gulps cutely, and promptly drains the glass in his hand.

You try to contain the smile on your glossed lips as he tries and fails to look away from your tits in his face, stammering out responses to idle chit chat you’re making. It’s adorable how his confident, dominating personality switches so fast off the track with you. At one point you say you’re sorry that his girlfriend couldn’t make it (you aren’t - you’d planned the getaway on a day you knew she had a modelling gig booked, of course, since you’re the one who’d pulled strings to set up the photoshoot). Relaxed with all the G&Ts, Max mentions that actually, his girlfriend had been very persistent in trying to stop him coming today.

Oh? You say with faux innocence, tilting your head and widening your doe eyes with worry. Why? She doesn’t like me? Max rushes to soothe your worries, saying no, no, it was more that - well, I think she’s a bit jealous…you’re very beautiful, after all. I think I might just need to spend more time with her from now on. You laugh at his cute blush, telling him Of course, but she had nothing to worry about, after all she was the model and not you!

You know how to play the game, knew that despite his model girlfriend at his side, you had him practically drooling in your tiny white bikini, contrasting beautifully against your tan skin. But he had to be the one to cross the line first, and think it was all his idea. Especially if his bitchy girlfriend was starting to catch onto your plans and demanding Max stay with her. So you walk away, making sure to sway your hips so he can enjoy the view of your ass as you lay on your tummy to sweetly ask your cute lifeguard if he’d mind putting sunscreen on your back?

Your lifeguard jumps at the chance, having already been checking you out all day. He’s taking the bottle and raking his eyes over your form hungrily - but Max interrupts even sooner than you’d predicted. His love language being physical touch works in your favour. You hide your pleased smile as a deep Dutch voice heatedly says that he can do it, and you turn to see Max glaring at the lifeguard with all the intensity of a lion. Are you sure you don’t mind, Max? You say sweetly, blinking your thick lashes up at him from your compromising position, your head right at the level of his hips. You hope he’s thinking the same naughty thoughts as you when his blue gaze darkens. That it would be so easy to slide his thick fingers past your pouting lips and hold them open as he messily fucks your all too willing mouth. You bite your bottom lip at the filthy idea.

You see him swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing in that huge muscled neck of his. No, it’s okay! That lifeguard…well, I don’t want him putting his hands on you. God, you couldn’t wait to lick hickeys all up and down his broad shoulders before wrapping your thighs around them as he ate you out. But you’re getting ahead of yourself, coming back to the present as you lie down to let Max touch up your sunscreen. His large palms are tentative at first, trying to remain respectful within the boundaries of friendship. But when you’re softly sighing, moaning that it feels so good, Maxie, work has made my back way to tense, could you use one of those massage techniques your physio taught you? it’s impossible for him to not go a little further. Your tiny bikini easily lets him explore your body, his strong hands gripping your plush hips and giving him a naughty mental picture of what you’d look like if he took you from the back. You’re glad your sunglasses are extra dark so you can peek at his trunks, enjoying the rapidly hardening large bulge there, responding to all the cute little moans and gasps you’re letting out as you tremble under his touch.

You decide to tease him a bit more, reaching behind your neck to untie your string bikini, shyly saying you didn’t want to get tan lines…he didn’t mind, right? You can totally go ask the lifeguard to help!

Max’s mouth goes dry at the sight of your bare back as he dazedly shakes his head, huskily saying he was happy to help, you’re his friend after all. All the blood rushed straight from his brain to his cock to make his decision as he feels the lush swell of your tits from the side when they generously slip out. You celebrate your victory internally when he shyly asks if he could take off your bikini bottoms so you didn’t get tan lines there, too?

You hesitate, coquettishly blinking and asking him if his girlfriend would be mad? Max pauses with your reminder, his large hands spread over your juicy asscheeks as he resists the urge to squeeze them. Your plan falls right into place as you cheekily suggest that surely it would be okay if he closed his eyes, just for a second, you really didn’t want tan lines there after all-

That was all Max needed to hear before he eagerly nodded, looking the picture of an overexcited puppy. This time you can’t resist your smirk as your slowly untie your bottoms, jiggling your ass as you slide them down so he catches a glimpse of the tempting flesh before he remembers to close his eyes. His large, calloused palms run down your plump ass, unable to resist squeezing roughly and making you moan sexily. You part your legs invitingly, and when those thick fingers of his brush against your pussy you know he can feel how wet you are for him. So dripping wet, that one of his fingers easily slides against your warm pussy lips. Max, you gasp breathily, your entrance instinctively clenching around the tip of his thick finger. What are you- Oh! Desire rushes straight to his groin as he gets a feel of how tight your sweet cunny would feel squeezing down on something else thick of his and he can’t help but sink his finger all the way in. It takes him longer than it should to come to his senses and move his hand away, stammering out apologies that he hadn’t meant to touch you there, his hand just slipped, could you forgive him?

To his relief, you giggle at his flushed face, turning around to meet his embarrassed gaze. Don’t worry about it, accidents happen! you say playfully, as if you hadn’t planned this, tying your bikini back up slowly. As he watches you strut away confidently in your little heeled sandals, he can’t resist tasting the wetness you’d left all over his fingers. He almost cums in his trunks from how sweet you taste, and hastily returns to his room. You smirk when you press an ear to your bedroom wall, hearing the shower running in Max’s bathroom right next door. Sadly for you, you can’t hear anything over the sound of the shower, leaving you pouting and pussy aching from the memory of Max’s hands on you.

But just on the other side, a certain blonde Dutchman is giving into his growing taboo desires. It’s not the first time he’s jerked off to you - no, with all the frequent teasing glimpses of your plush cleavage or your ass in tight dresses, he’s regularly mentally drooling over you. He knows it’s wrong, and in the beginning he did feel guilty…but now only the thought of your sexy little body that can get him hard like this. Tipping his head back and letting the cool water flow down his abs, Max slowly jerks off his impressive erection as he fantasies about you shaking and cutely moaning underneath him. Your lush tits spilling out from the sides, your wide hips that would be the perfect thing for him to hold tightly as he fucked you in doggystyle, his favourite. And now he knew what your soft tanned skin felt like, how sweet and wet your cunny was for him….well, it’s enough to make him addicted. He’s cumming within seconds, biting his lips and imagining how good it would feel to bury his aching cock inside your cunny instead of his finger next time.

He still blushes cutely when he sees you next, at a friend’s party, but you’re as nonchalant as ever, greeting him with a sweet kiss on his cheek. He watches you laugh at something one of his guy friends are saying and can’t stop the jealousy swirling in his chest, even when his girlfriend tugs on his arm to get him his attention all night.

Of course, you’re playing the long game. It didn’t matter how many men you flirted with - there was only one who you truly wanted. So for one of the exclusive Halloween parties in Monaco, you discreetly organise one of the big fashion houses you represent to send Max’s girlfriend a haute couture costume. She accepts it, spamming her Insta story with pics of it, just like you’d expected. You’re certain she would show up to the event with a reluctant Max in tow.

And on that night of the Halloween party, you smile as you spot a bored looking Max across the living room of the mansion the party is hosted at. His gorgeous blue eyes widen as he spots you…dressed in the same costume as his girlfriend. But you’d had some customised alterations made, looking ethereal in your white angel costume, tits pushed up with a corset and soft tummy and hips on display in your low waisted miniskirt. Max is far from the only guy who stared at you hungrily as you entered - including your date, some Russian model you’d met at a PR event, dressed just like Max in a tight fitting shirt and a Ghostface mask that hid his identity when on.

Someone might just call your choice of couple’s costume a random coincidence, but you didn’t make mistakes like that. Your date had two jobs tonight - one which he’d already done successfully, as you see Max’s icy blue gaze glaring at the hand around your waist. You whisper in your date’s ear, parting ways for now, because he had another mission to go complete that you’d already asked him to do for you as a favour. Namely, keeping Max’s goldigging girlfriend occupied tonight. And since your date happened to inherit his father’s multimillion manufacturing business, you were sure Max’s girlfriend would be throughly enraptured by him.

You laugh and mingle with friends throughout the night, catching Max’s intense gaze on you a few times but pretending to ignore it. He’s finally had enough of seeing you flirt with other guys when you end up on the dancefloor. You shiver as you feel his strong, muscled body behind you, shielding you from any guy who tries to get close to you. That’s fine with you, because the only one you wanted to grind back against was Max after all. So you toss your hair, getting lost in the music and tipsily giggling, enjoying the low rumble in Max’s chest as your fat ass teases his hardening bulge. His large palms settle possessively over your hips, leaning down to smell your sweet vanilla perfume. He lets you drag him into a quiet, dark corner, giggling and pressing your soft body against his as you whisper he looked so hot tonight, his biceps looked amazing, had he been working out more?

And then your doe eyes, prettily outlined in glittery eyeshadow and eyeliner, look up from his muscular chest to meet his piercing blue eyes as he pulls his mask off. You gasp, widening your eyes in supposed shock as you blush and stammer that you’re so sorry Max, you’d thought he was your date, he’s dressed the same after all…

He’s disappointed, of course, missing the touch of your manicured fingers running up and down his abs. He ends up agreeing to help you find your date again after you look at him pleadingly, although the idea of letting another guy put his hands on you makes him want to unleash Mad Max. But when you two finally find your date, behind a closed bedroom door upstairs, you see he’s been kept very good company by none other than Max’s girlfriend.

Your hands fly to your mouth in pretend shock at the scene of your date with his balls deep inside the gold digging girlfriend, her artificial sounding moans radiating around the room. Your date had exceeded your expectations and kept her very well occupied, it seemed. Max is disgusted with the sight, snarling in anger and moving to block your view of your date cheating on you. He’s so sweet, really, being so protective of you when you’d executed the whole plan to perfection. You hear his girlfriend exclaim in shock, trying to plead that it wasn’t what it looked like…but you’d given the Dutchman the final excuse to call it off. Don’t ever fucking come near me or her again, he growls, his voice radiating confidence and authority in a way which makes you squeal internally.

To your delight, Max insists on taking you home, worried about how you’d feel after finding your date cheating on you…with his backstabbing ex girlfriend, he mutters darkly. He’s fuming at her betrayal, but as you lead him into your cozy apartment you’re already planning your next scheme. When he asks you gently if you’re sure you’re ok, is there anything he could do to help, he’s so sorry that his ex got involved with your personal life like this you sweetly nod and tell him you just wanted to take your mind off it all.

He’s eager to help you, nodding enthusiastically when you ask if he’d help plan your costume for your next Halloween event the following night? Your date would no longer be helping you, after all. Of course, schat, anything you want he says earnestly, pretty blue eyes looking at you with adoration as you pout. Handing him a glass of whiskey to sip on while you guide him to sit on the end of your bed, you sashay into your walk in closet. You make sure to leave the door half open, so Max gets a full view of the red lingerie you’re wearing underneath your costume. You take your time getting ready, bending over to pull on your outfit and shaking your hips enticingly, making sure to give Max a naughty show. And if the angel costume had been sexy, the schoolgirl outfit you put on next is positively scandalous. You shyly walk out in heels and a tiny pleated skirt, skimpy white top tied around your breasts to push them out even more as you twirl for him. What do you think? you ask anxiously when Max just stares without saying anything. It looks bad, doesn’t it-

He hastily denies your words, stumbling out that you looked gorgeous, you always did, you didn’t have anything to worry about.

When you giggle happily and announce that you had a few more to show him, he licks his lips in anticipation and drains more of the whiskey from his glass. You give him another slow striptease through your closet door, this time taking off your bra so he gets a flash of your hard nipples. You see him widen his legs to accomodate the raging erection hanging in between his thick thighs and have to stop yourself drooling at the delicious sight. But Max is the one controlling himself next when you emerge in a cat costume, all black latex booty shorts and tight corset, paired with kitten ears and a tail.

His jaw drops open at the tempting sight, and when you ask him if he thinks it’s cute enough to make your date regret cheating on you he clenches his jaw and growls that the pathetic bastard didn’t deserve the privilege of seeing you all dressed up like this.

You try and fail to hide your coy smile at Max’s jealous words, and then find yourself pulled forward in between his legs as he murmurs that there were plenty of other ways to get back at your date. Oh? You say breathlessly, sinking onto your plush ass to sit in between his spread thighs, resting your cheek against his leg. Like what, Maxie?

He groans at the temptation in front of him, of your glossed pouting lips right next to where he needed you the most. You’re not behaving like a good kitty, he jokes, but his voice is rough as desire swirls in his eyes. You’re teasing me far too much while thinking about some guy nowhere near my level.

You grin like a Cheshire and slowly get on all fours, swaying your ass in the air and nuzzling your face right up against his bulging erection. Am I still a bad girl now? you whisper, flicking your tongue out to lick his zipper sluttily. Shall I make it up to you? Max groans above you, thick neck flexing as he tangles a large palm into your hair. Schatje, he says breathlessly, as you slowly unzip his jeans, squealing in delight as his fat cock emerges to slap against your cheeks. So big, Maxie you croon, going cross eyed as you place kitten licks all along his engorged cockhead. What did I say about teasing me? Max groans above you, applying delicious pressure to the back of your head as he pushes your lips down onto his shaft. Mmfh! Your moans are muffled as he loses control, fucking your mouth without abandon. Pleased moans fill the air as you drool over his length, letting him throat fuck you and use you for his pleasure. Your pink lip gloss is smeared all over his cock as your eyes roll back in your head, one of your hands reaching down to play with your aching cunny as Max leaves bruises in the back of your mouth.

Weeks of sexual tension finally lead to him cumming in your throat, so far down that you swear you can fill him hit your tummy, and you obediently suck up every last drop. He’s so far from done, though. He wants you on your hands and knees, his strong hands ripping a hole into your slutty latex shorts to hungrily taste your sweet pussy again. Soon enough your bedroom is filled with obscene sounds of Max fucking his bare cock into your cunny, pounding into you from behind. It’s even hotter than his dirtiest fantasies, and he’s making you tremble and scream his name as he presses down on your neck, burying your face into the sheets and whispering filthy praise in your ear. You’re so pleased you’d thought to set up a tiny camera by your nightstand, capturing every second of your first fuck with Max so you can enjoy it later. Your pussy squeezes around his length like a vice, and it’s most euphoric feeling he’s experienced in his life. He’s cumming again within minutes, moaning how good you feel, he fucking loves your cunt, loves you and takes you over the edge with him as he gives you an open mouthed kiss.

You smile contentedly against his warm lips, letting him slide his tongue into your mouth. Your red manicured nails tangle possessively in soft blonde locks as you sigh into the passionate make out. Max was exactly where he belonged, finally - in your bed, with you in his arms.

And unlike the silly women who’d taken him for granted, you were never going to let him go.

—————————————————————————

A/N: thank you soooo much for ur patience my dear readers, I fear I was getting a bit of writers block seeing all the photos of max and Kelly in the holiday season 😭😭😭 I hope u guys enjoy this piece!! Send me lots of ur raunchy asks plz I need inspiration ♥️♥️

[am-i-interrupting]

May I ask Cult Leader!Viktor with his dear reader, being cuimmuneto and possessive. I imagine Viktor is jealous of the reader in his own way, because someone is flirting with her without her knowing�� What would it be like? Will Viktor want to punish the reader (cough, cough, nfsw)?

Handsy Hivemind

Tags: 18+, smut, fingering, shared mind, voyeurism, possessive

Having you by his side had been Viktor’s stability. You managed to keep him sane when all the possibilities of reality were overwhelming him.

You were his. He was yours.

This was a sentiment he thought he had made clear in the commune he’d forged. So very obvious it was, with you constantly at his side. His hand on your shoulders. His loving gaze only on you.

However, this seemed to be false as someone had come to you with words sweet as sugar and intent too tainted like oil.

He summoned them. You were confused when they’d come into the place the two of you had begun to call home.

“Do you know why you are hear?” Viktor asked.

“No, I’m afraid not,” they said.

He cut them a glance. An eyebrow raised, quirked with nothing but annoyance.

Do not lie to me.

Their eyes widened as they heard his voice in their head. Their gaze flickered over to you then back at him. Shameful, they went to the floor.

“I apologize, Herald,” they said. “Although, I believe you could show mercy as you must understand the temptation set before me.”

Viktor tilted their head up with a finger to their chin. Your brows furrowed behind him as they met your eyes.

“I am nothing if not merciful,” he promised. “Sit.”

His hand extended to a chair. They walked over. Their hands were folded in their lap. They looked like a child being chastised. Though, they shouldn’t look so glum. They weren’t about to be starved. They were about to feast.

Viktor’s hand grabbed yours and pulled you to your feet. His head bent until his forehead touched your own.

“Viktor,” you said softly, “what’s going on?”

“A lesson,” he replied, “in belongings.”

A question was cut off from your lips as Viktor’s crashed into them. You hummed in surprise. His hand found your jaw and pulled you closer. You stumbled into his chest and onto the couch you fell.

He guided you into his lap. His head tilted upward to hold the kiss. His hands tugged at the bottom of your shirt.

His fingers plunged into your pants, beneath your underwear. His thumb and pinky rested upon your pelvic bone. His pointer and ring fingers spread apart your folds. His middle finger dipped down to your hole. It clutched in response to the contact.

He massaged the rim, pulling out with each clutch more and more slickness. He curled his finger, spreading it. The tip brushed against your clit causing you to moan into the kiss.

It was at then that he broke it. His lips traveled across your cheek and to the back of your ear.

He made eye contact with the one in the seat. At just that moment, he plunged his fingers inside you. Abandoning spreading you open, two fingers pistoned inside.

Mine.

You head was thrown back with your eyes closed.

He kissed and bit at your now exposed neck. His tongue curled as he began to suck. His eyes never wavering.

He went at a fast pace as his fingers repeatedly entered and exited you. You weren’t allowed to catch your breath. Only shaking inhaled and exhales were given to you.

Your hands went to his hair. It bunched up like a halo behind him.

Their hands in their lap began to palm at their crotch. Viktor’s eyes narrowed.

Not allowed.

The hands curled into fists. A blush traveled up their neck to their face. Their eyes went to your head thrown back in bliss, lips parted with every exhale though they couldn’t see it.

Look at me.

It was not a request but a demand. Viktor felt your walls pulse against his fingers as their eyes met.

Mine.

He thrust his fingers as deep as he possibly could. He felt the bundled ball of nerves that always had you quaking. As expected, you let out a small yell.

“Vik!” you weren’t able to utter his entire name like this, too caught in the throes of pleasure.

Your fingers curled into a fist. A tingling trail was left in the wake of your nails against his scalp.

Satisfied with the time he’d spent sucking, he let go with a wet pop so he could focus on a different space.

His thumb penetrated your folds, just below your clit. He pushed it upward, gathering your wetness on the way. He moved his thumb in a slow circular motion along the exterior of your clit.

A high pitched squeak was pulled from you. Your breathing labored and strained. Your eyes were screwed shut with pleasure. Not a single thought in your head other than Viktor.

Your thighs clamped around his hips. You pushed yourself down further on his fingers. The walls of your interior squeezed as tight as they could, hoping to milk something his fingers simply could not provide. You felt water come to your eyes at the realization. Your body pulsed all over as you slumped forward.

“Vik,” you whispered as you began to come down.

He gathered the fabric of his robe. He lifted you off him but his fingers followed, still secure. His dick was exposed and free. Nothing stopped it from touch the air.

He carefully pulled off your pants and underwear. Then it was a slow, careful descent to place you atop his dick. A moment of a near uncomfortable stretch as both his dick and fingers were in you. It was quickly replaced with a comfortable stretch. His fingers slipped out as his dick slipped in.

He brushed your hair away from your face and gave you a soft kiss. Your arms wrapped around his body. You melted against him.

He met the person’s eyes once more. Your lips went to his greyish purple skin. He was able to feel your tenderness in his muscles. You clenched around him.

Leave.

They scrambled to their feet and nearly ran out. He imagined they would have if it weren’t for other circumstances.

Viktor’s head lulled back and fell against yours.

[veggiesxxx]

POV: You spend time with a guy "behind their back." (Part 3/4)

(reader is NOT cheating!!)

ft. Jealousy, fluff,

𝒵𝒶𝓎𝓃𝑒

3pm. Your upcoming consultation with Dr. Zayne was in about...15 minutes, give or take if he wasn't too busy with a troublesome patient. You sat in the waiting room of Akso hospital, fiddling with your fingers, waiting for your appointment with the surgeon.

"Y/N! Hey, hey... Long time no see!" The cheerful voice of your colleague pulled you from the mindless gazing around the room you had been doing. You straightened out your shirt, not wanting to look sloppy in front of an acquaintance.

"Oh, hey..!' Your lips played into a smile, quickly taking in your friend's appearance. You noticed a small box of exquisite chocolates in his hand, and they had a cute ribbon tied to it, like a gift. "Who's the lucky girl?" You teased, eyeing the box.

"Ah.. They're just for you. Don't think so much about it.. Didn't know what you liked– and I know I missed your birthday. Sorry about that." He answered sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, eyes on the polished floor.

'Oh- me? That's sweet. Thank you so much-" you said, touched by the gesture. You were just about to take the chocolate from him, when an authoritative voice rang out.

"She can't have them."

Huh?

You raised your head, averting your gaze to the direction the familiar voice had come from. Your friend looked up, puzzled, arm still outstretched to give you the box, pausing mid-way. You blinked in confusion.

"Dr. Zayne?"

"Sorry.. who is this?" Your friend's confused voice echoed your own perplexed remark.

"I'm her doctor," He replied coolly, expression somewhere between subtle annoyance and false politeness. He placed himself a little between you and your coworker, effectively joining the little exchange. Your friend's outstretched arm fell to his side, the chocolate box hanging loosely in his grip.

"Is she sick? Y/N, are you allergic? I'm so sorry-"

"No- no, I'm not." You quickly clarified, not wanting to tell an untruth to someone who you didn't meet too long ago. The man tried to hand you the box again after your confirmation, only to be blocked by Zayne.

"She can't have sugar.. You'll have to keep them." Zayne used a gloved hand to push the chocolate box back firmly towards the other man, his words telling him one thing, but his eyes were telling a different story.

"She says she's fine, though." Your friend tilted his head, obviously skeptical.

"Sorry. Doctor's orders."

After a moment, you sighed, defeated, shifting in your seat to make eye contact with your friend. Apologetically, you shook your head. "Uhm.. You should go, I'll see you another day."

At a loss of what to do, he heeded your advice and nodded, bidding an awkward goodbye to you and Zayne before heading out of the hospital.

"What was that about?" you frowned, standing up.

"Your health."

"Really? Well then, I'm sure everything is alright now." Your eyes narrowed, tone sarcastic, moving to look Zayne in the eye. He turned around to face you. 'You can't just do that," you added.

He didn't respond, expression softening, though his posture remained unyielding. He gestured for you to follow him to his office for your consult. You first wanted to refuse, and not follow until he apologised or something, but you also wanted to have the freedom to chide him.

"I 'can't have sugar'? Aren't we going to a dessert café right after your shift?" You replied, trailing behind him.

"It's different."

"How?"

"I'll supervise whatever you consume."

You realised it was quite impossible to argue with Zayne a long time ago— this man could be so very stubborn if he wanted to. Like an unmoving ice wall.

"You could've let me handle it-"

"I could've," he acknowledged. "But that would have also included you accepting the gift."

You sighed, shaking your head, though a small, fluttery feeling bubbled up in your chest despite your annoyance. “Zayne, you can’t just scare off everyone who gives me a gift.”

“I didn’t scare him,” Zayne said defensively, his voice lowering as he leaned in slightly. “I just… prioritised your health."

"Right.. because doctor's orders.." You mocked lightly.

"I did him a favour. He just doesn't know it yet." He answered nonchalantly, pushing open the door to his office, letting you in. You took a seat on his little sofa.

"A favour?" You repeated incredulously, raising a brow. "For what, exactly?"

"To not waste his time on someone he can't have." Zayne sounded calm, casually adjusting the stethoscope into his ear, pressing the cold chest piece over your heart. After a minute, he removed it. "It's fast,"

"What?"

"Your heart. But there's no fluctuation. Still, would be safer if I conducted a quick test."

"You're being ridiculous.. You can't scare off my colleague then proceed like nothing happened-!" you complained, but not resisting when his fingers lightly pushed against your shoulder, lowering you to lay on the sofa. He pushed up his glasses, expression unchanged, raising his eyes to look at you.

"Consider this an official prescription then: No accepting gifts from other men." He had a little smile on his face, like he was very happy with himself.

"...Why do I put up with you?" you asked, exasperated.

"..Because you know I'll always take care of you."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧༶

Hope you enjoyed!!

Next :

╰┈➤ Xavier (Part 4/4) [coming soon]

Previously :

╰┈➤ Sylus (Part 2/4)

[adieutristana]

hello omg just found your blog and might i say your writing style is so gorgeous?? absolute chefs kiss 💯. aaaaaanywho, i read your post about how the arcane women would be during aftercare. i was wondering if it would be possible to maybe write a dribble drabble of how sevika would react to reader going like completely nv (non verbal) and dissociated after said hankey pankey actions? 🤔 💭.

feel free to ignore if this makes you uncomfortable!! :3 have a good rest of your day/evening and happy holidays!

of course! thank you for the request <3 i appreciate your kind words, it means a lot that you enjoy my writing :) happy (late) holidays to you as well!

summary; sevika and her girlfriend during aftercare. reader goes nonverbal and dissociates.

characters included; sevika

tags/warnings; nothing explicit but very suggestive, comfort (no hurt), fluff, just sweet, nonverbal / dissociative episodes

men and minors dni.

your back hits the mattress, sheets clinging to your sweaty skin.

that was… intense. it usually is with sevika. but good. you can't feel it right now, but you know that in an hour or two, your legs will grow sore. your breath is coming to you slowly, although it's still a bit difficult. you're still slightly trembling. your girlfriend is in the next room, quickly rolling a cigar before she joins you in bed. it’s become a routine of sorts.

roll the cigar, climb in bed with you, hold you, talk about whatever’s on yours or her mind. sevika was always gentle, doting afterward. looking out for you, then herself. before entering a relationship with her, you’d never expected her to be affectionate. she never expected herself to be affectionate. but the moment your eyes locked with her own, things changed.

sevika slowly makes her way to the bed, sitting down next to you with her back propped on the headboard as she uses a blanket to cover her lower half. she comes to light her cigar, taking a long drag before looking down at you.

“you alright?”

you make a little ‘mm’ noise, your eyes fixed on the ceiling. your breathing has evened out for the most part, although sweat still clings to your skin and you’re still a bit shaky. sevika purses her lips, leaning down over you slightly. it’s not often that you give her this… lackluster of a response.

“you sure you’re okay?”

she presses, earning a slow nod from you. not much is getting through to you right now… it was good. amazing. but right now, you just feel so out of it. an out of body experience, in some way.

sevika lets out a heavy sigh and puts her cigar out in a bedside ashtray, deciding to inch closer to you. she's concerned, to say the very least. did she go too far? did she do something that she wasn't supposed to? not notice something you had said? she hesitantly drapes an arm over your chest, laying on her side as she takes in your flat expression.

“did i hurt you?”

she asks. always straight to the point, but she’s never seen you like this after sex. she’s worried. the anxiety is quickly relieved after she sees you frantically shaking your head. no, she didn’t hurt you. she wasn’t too rough. but that doesn’t explain why you’re just blinking with a dazed look, as if you’re only partially present. you’re aware of what she’s saying, at the very least.

but she won’t press. she’s concerned. she knows that you’re not completely yourself right now for whatever reason. she doesn’t want to force an answer out of you if you don’t want to give it to her at this moment. so instead, the woman opts to gently pull you into her arms and hold you close to her chest.

she feels your arms slowly wrap around your waist, and your head nestling into her chest. this is good. this is a good thing.

“i take it you’re just not up to talk right now, huh…?” sevika mutters, reaching to begin gently running her fingers along your bare back. lightly raking her fingernails in a soothing motion, the cold metal of her other arm slightly grounding you. “that’s alright. i can talk instead.”

sevika continues running her fingers over your back, a rhythmic motion that she hopes serves to soothe.

"you did great for me... you always do." she mutters, that low drawl of hers evident. "and you're doing great now. i don't know what's going on... maybe you need time to process?"

sevika wonders, maybe more to herself than to you. nonetheless, she presses a gentle kiss to your temple. lips the slightest bit rough, fingernails still going up and down your back.

"i don't know. but i'll be here."

she smiles when you slowly nod, making eye contact with her. you lean slightly closer to her touch, seeking the warmth that she offers. a calloused hand, firm body, soft touch. the smell of smoke and sweat. it's everything that you could hope for in this moment, paired with that low voice of hers.

"there you are."

your eyes looking at hers. what a privilege. this isn't something sevika thought she'd ever get, only having had flings and brothel visits in the past. she didn't think romance was something in the cards for her, and she didn't think she'd ever particularly want it. yet here she is, holding a woman who she loves and who loves her in return. after showing that love to her.

if that woman isn't feeling the most herself right now, then that's fine. at least she knows she enjoyed herself, but she'll be here while she finds what she needs.

"and you look as beautiful as ever."

she murmurs, moving her hand from your back to gently grasp at your shoulder. running a calloused hand up and down your upper arm in slow, caring motions. her eyes take in your expression, relaxed and a bit dissociated. you're always beautiful to her.

the curve of your cheekbones, the edge of your jawline, the softness of your cheeks, the way your lips curl up the slightest bit. sevika could melt. gods, she feels strange admitting that to herself. she could melt from how stunning her girlfriend is. who would've thought?

she continues to press light kisses to your face- your cheeks, your forehead, the bridge of your nose, over any freckles or moles you may have. this might be on sevika's list of favorite things to do, to just take you in. the way your eyes flutter closed as you feel her lips on you.

"let me know when you come to, but i'll be here until then... and after."

sevika murmurs, slowly dragging her thumb along your bottom lip. she can't deny that she's still a bit worried, although part of her will always worry. that's her job, isn't it? to make sure you're okay, you're safe, you're happy.

but right now, you just need her. and sevika is more than happy to give you everything within her reach.

[graciedollie]

hi hii, all the fanfics I read the reader was very feminine, but I was thinking about how cool it would be to do one where the reader is Ambessa's guard, and is muscular and big (but also very shy), Ambessa feels attracted and wants to see if the reader is good at other things besides fighting.....🙈

do it in your own time! ❤️‍🩹

Wandering Lamb

Pair: Ambessa Medarda x MuscularShy!Reader

Summary: You were one of Ambessa’s best soldiers, doing excellent in training and on the battlefield. She was oddly drawn to you, knowing you had much potential. Though, while doing your duties, you happen to stumble upon a sight you’d never forget. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

Warnings: Face-fucking, age difference (we love to see), fingering, just lex sesbian, praise(we definitely love to see it), Reader is Ambessa’s guard, AMBESSA HAS A BUSH (YES GOD), nothing too drastic or over the top 🎀

A/N: Hopefully this is to your liking babes <3 (i lowkey feel like my fics are going to shit cause of the decreased likes🧍🏾‍♀️)

The night hung high in the sky, casting over the land of Noxus with a thick hue of soft light. You were carefully stalking your way down the halls, panting slightly after a good day of training—well, intense. Training was, as usual, intense and sweat inducing, but you were good in training—hella good. Of course when you first started off, it was rocky as expected, but with time passing—you became one of Ambessa’s best soldiers. Sure her other soldiers did good, but you—you were a beast.

Though you were really skilled and powerful in combat, you were a shy little thing—balancing out your appearance with your personality. Body of a wolf, soul of a lamb. You were sweet and shy, but during battle—you were ruthless. As you spent your years of working your way up as a soldier, you became attracted to the one who pushed you along the way—Ambessa, Noxus fearless warlord. Now, she was absolutely stunning—nearly the beauty of a powerful goddess.

Unfortunately so, you didn’t want to seem out of order or unorthodox to have such feelings towards your higher up, which meant you had to push those feelings deep down and act normal when you were around her. Your mind was wandering with thoughts of her as you stalked your way down the long hallway, patrolling the halls as your usual duty when you weren’t fighting alongside her in battle, which was always a fine honor.

Keeping your eyes closely locked around your environments, it was until then that a noise from her bedroom caught you off guard—eliciting you to swiftly move and enter her room—weapon clutched in your hand.

“General. Are you ok?” Your voice was strained with concern and curiosity, furrowing your brows tightly as your quick feet moved across the marble floors before barging into the large bathroom as you didn’t find her in the bed.

There was no apparent danger, but the sight that was before you—damn near sinful. She laid soaking in the steaming tub, rich brown skin glowing in the dim light, and silver coils crowning her head. Her eyes glanced over with a disapproving gaze before a sly grin tugged at her red lips—nearly making you weak in the knees as her gaze on you was intense.

“And what may be the trouble of you rudely interrupting me, hm?” god that voice. You always loved that voice—whether she was calm and collected or either stern and scolding. It was something you never get tired of, always imagining the way her voice would flow through your ears with her fingers knee deep in yo—unfortunately, those thoughts weren’t to be welcomed.

“Uh—I apologize dearly, General. I…I thought I heard something and figured something was wrong—I’m sorry for interrupting..” Your voice was slightly strained with nerves, practically radiating around your built body, clasping the weapon tightly in your hand as your eyes met with hers before drifting lower, but quickly snapping to her eyes.

But she knew and she wanted you to look.

Ambessa took great pride in her body—the body she put in extensive work to earn. She tilted her head to the side while eyeing you intensely and shamelessly, humming in approval with the way you were built, but was shy as hell. It was honestly endearing to her and she knew that she needed you—and she knew you wanted the same.

“Come.” It wasn’t a request, it was an order—which you gladly followed as you swiftly stalked your way to the large bath, seeing just the way her breast were visibly in the calm waters and how the light scars adorned her beautiful brown skin—god you felt that you were in paradise. Her eyes peered into yours, sensing the nervousness in your eyes as she felt a small smirk tuh at her lips.

“As you know, you are one of my finest guards and best soldier, yes?” She raised a brow at you, expecting your answer quickly, which you quickly responded, “Yes! I am…I put great work and pride in my duties and training—just as you taught me, General.”

A hum of approval was heard from her at your choice of words, clearly liking the impression you were making. Her eyes stayed locked on yours fully before trailing down your body—taking in the way your muscles gleamed with leftover sweat from training.

“And what comes with that is an reward, yes?”

You were honesty ecstatic at her words, fighting the stupid grin that threatened to ghost over your lips. Your mind was racing with so many thing—maybe she’ll do this or that or this or that—with the possibilities being questionable. “Yes…”

“Excellent. I know just the reward for such a loyal, devoted woman you are…”

You just couldn’t wait for what she had in store for you <3

This was not what you were expecting…but you damn sure weren’t complaining.

Your clothes and weapon were completely abandoned to the side of the tub, leaving your body completely exposed to her lustful gaze and wandering eyes—taking in your toned built. You felt extremely shy as you were practically on a stand and her eyes observed your body intensely—catching the litter of scars adorning your skin.

She curled her finger in a ‘come here’ motion, which you quickly pushed through the water to get to her before her hands finally roamed all over your body, “Quite the view..”

“Oh…thank you, u-uh General..” You couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that climbed from its chamber, internally face-palming yourself for doing the stupid gesture, but that was quickly pushed aside as her lips finally found your neck and suckled at the skin. A low moan escaped your mouth as her velvety tongue trailed over the delicate skin, leaving bites and kisses in her trail.

This felt like totally paradise. This is what you’ve wanted for so long. Your eyes fluttered as she slowly leaned you back to have you lay back against edge of the tub, lips never leaving your neck while her large hand ventured under the water and between your toned thighs—sliding her thumb across your slit, earning a soft gasp.

“Ambessa—“

“General.” She quickly corrected you, pulling away from your neck to take in your expressions as her thumb rubbed slow, firm circles over your aching clit—smirking at the sight before her. “You’ve peaked my interest, dear. Such a strong, loyal, and trustworthy woman you are. I respect that…”

Your hips bucked up to her touch, causing little ripples of water to scatter. Her eyes peered into yours before you turned to look away, only to be met with her other hand gripping your chin firmly and forcing the intense eye contact. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

Her voice was firm and stern—the voice you loved hearing every time she spoke, god you needed her badly. You nodded quickly in compliance to her words, nodded eyes gazing into her peering ones—gasping as she slowly slipped a single finger in you with ease. Her fingers were thick, of course, but not this much. The way only one single finger felt, you were uncertain about adding another—three, at that matter.

“I-oh my gosh…General..” Your body was practically burning due to the stretch and with the sweet pleasure of her rubbing over your clit—slowly picking up the pace of her motions as she watched you intently.

You looked utterly breathtaking. Eyes were fluttering, struggling to keep eye contact. Mouth parted with gasp and low moans. Toned stomach flexing. Muscular thighs jerking with each pump of her finger and each flex of your sculptured arms as you slightly squirmed. “For a resilient woman, you are the shyest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on—how adorable.”

Your words were quickly spurring you on, moaning and grunting in response to her words—looking at her with a silent plea in your eyes, but that wouldn’t work with her. “Words or do you not want more? I’m sure you deserve an reward, no? It would be a shame if I had to take it away..”

“N-no! I…I need more…please.” Your voice was slightly shaky and strained, huffing slightly as you were worked up—already feeling yourself on the brink of combusting. She couldn’t help the smirk grazing over her lips, taking in the sight of your expressions as she added another finger—making you feel full.

“Oh…shitshitshit, General….please..”Your eyes were fluttering as they threatened to roll back, but you stayed strong as you knew she’d stop if you looked away—having this moment with her was a great honor, yes? Of course it was, with the way your pussy was gripping her fingers, enjoying this was an understatement.

“There we go…feels good to be rewarded, doesn’t it?” She hummed lowly against your lips, feeling your quicken gasps and whines as you quickly nodded, looking at her with hooded eyes, “Yes—y-yes…so good..”

“I know, I know…come for me, love..”

Her words were all the encouragement that you need, along with her thrusting her fingers quickly and steadily—earning a broken moan escaping your mouth as your thighs tensed up and jerked as the orgasm crashed over your body like a wave.

She was definitely going to enjoy a sweet thing such as yourself.

You felt you could die, but in a happy way, of course.

Here you were, face deep in the older woman’s thighs, trailing soft and delicate kisses along the toned, brown skin of her inner thighs as you were on your knees. She had her hand buried in your hair, making sure your eyes stayed locked on to hers—peering down at you with a lustful and appreciative gaze as she felt your warm lips against her thighs. “No need to be so shy, child…”

You could practically feel your body flare up with heat, besides the heat emitting from the warm water that engulfed you both. Your hooded eyes stayed locked up on hers with a desperate and needy gaze, feeling yourself getting more turned on as your hands came to rub her outer thighs and up to her ass—fondling with the soft, but firm muscle, earning an appreciative grunt as she flooded your head with praises.

“Such a good girl for me.”

“Just like that, mhm..”

“Such a pretty thing.”

“You’re so gentle. I’m not fragile, love.”

“You’re so good..”

With her words spurring you on, you felt your body buzzing with excitement to finally give her what you both wanted, no—needed. Your eyes peered up at her with a silent plead, earning a soft smile tugging at her lips. “You know what to do…”

She didn’t even have to say anything else before you spreaded her thighs further, lapping away at her folds as the grey patch of hair tickled your noses—not that you minded, of course. The taste of her was utterly savoring and addictive, only wanting to taste more of her sweet nectar as it dribbled down her thighs, your chin and your lips. Your hooded eyes peered up at you and you felt that you might just cum like this.

The way her head was titled back, lips parted with low moans and grunts, breast jerking with her slight movements and the way her hips bucked to your face. You felt her hand tightening up in your high, pulling you closer to her weeping cunt, which you happily lapped away as if you were a starved woman. It felt like such paradise between her thighs, the smell and taste driving you absolutely feral—wanting more of her.

“That’s it…right there..” Her words came out strained and husky, signaling that she was practically on the edge of cumming, but not quite—though your tongue moved expertly through and in her cunt. The grip on her ass tightened as you buried yourself deeper in her thighs, latching into her swollen clit as you sucked messily at the bundle of nerves—feeling her toned thighs start to temblor alongside your head as she tugged your hair.

A mix of a grunt and growl escaped her mouth as her fluttering eyes peered down at your hooded ones, seeing how you were completely drunk for her. Both of her hands grasped your hair tightly, holding you still as she started to grind firmly against the expert tongue and mouth—practically face-fucking you with her pussy, which you felt honor for her to do such. You might just die. Your eyes stayed locked onto hers, seeing the way they struggled to stayed focused on yours before her head finally tipped back—eliciting a groan from her sweet lips.

Your hands roamed up and down her thighs, rubbing over her ass here and there—feeling completely content, even though she was practically suffocating you with the way she squeezed the toned muscles around you. If you died, you’d die happy.

The heavenly grunts and low moans of the older woman bounced off the walls and echoed, causing a beautiful melody that replayed in your head (most likely gonna remember this to fuck yourself to later). It was such a blissful noise and her using like this was just as thrilling—feeling the aching feeling swarm between your thighs. A startled moan was muffled by her cunt as she gave your hair one final pull before she completely came apart.

Her thighs trembled, hips bucked, breast jerking with each heavy breath she took, head tilling back. It was as if you were being gifted by the higher powers—thanking them eternally for this. The grip on her thighs tightened as she completely covered your face with her release—squirting all over your pretty face before you hungrily lapped away at the mess.

She panted heavily as her head slowly looked back down at you, titling her head as she examined your disheveled face—smiling wickedly at the sight. Her hand left your hair to pull you up from your knees, looking at you with a sinful gaze before she licked the essence of her from your chin to your lips—capturing your lips in a heated, hungry kiss, earning a moan from you before she pulled away.

“Such a mess…”

hope you enjoyed dollies <3

[dear-aubade]

first of all I love your writing style 💔

second: can you make a drabble where Joel comforts reader during her cold or any kind of sickness, maybe even usual stomachache aand then they have soft cute gentle xex, and he whispers praises to her, soothing all of her aches, lyyy

- 🐿️

Awwe thank you for the kind words anon, I’m glad you like my work! Here you go!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: You try to hide your sickness from Joel because you don’t want to stress him out. It doesn’t work.

Notes: Sick fic, praise kink, soft!dom!joel, sub!reader, sick!reader, reader is in her head a lot, unprotected p in v, reader is very much Joel’s baby, READER IS NOT PREGNANT SHE’S JUST NAUSEOUS

It was normal for you to be reserved. A little quieter than most, a little more soft. Joel knew you better than anybody, and he could tell when you’d slipped into your daydreams, just needing a few moments to drift off within your own head.

But this…this was different.

The day had started off as usual. You and Joel woke up together tangled in blankets, his strong arms holding you close. But the moment you blinked your bleary eyes awake you gave him a swift kiss and mumbled, “M’gonna go shower” before leaving him alone in bed.

Things only got stranger from there. That afternoon Joel was scheduled to leave for a short patrol with Tommy—lately there had been more Clicker sightings, so he and his brother had increased the amount of rotations needed per day. Joel didn’t want to leave you alone when he suspected something was wrong, but it was necessary for him to go if they wanted to keep Jackson a safe haven.

Normally when he was about to leave you’d get all teary-eyed and try to get as many kisses from him as you could before he took off. This time, however, you gave him a short smile and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

That sent Joel’s suspicion through the roof. He had studied your face, searching for any indication there might be something off. Your eyes were a little droopy, but he also knew that the night before you’d been up late with him reading to you…

“Is everything okay, baby?” he had asked softly.

Something flickered in your eyes and a little v appeared between your brow as it creased in confusion. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, I’m just a little worried about you.”

At that, you gave him an innocent smile. “I’m just tired, Joel. I’m okay.” You stood on your tiptoes to press your lips to his in a soft peck. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Against his better judgement, he’d left. But that didn’t stop him from worrying about you all throughout patrol.

You felt absolutely awful.

In the morning you’d woken with quite possibly the worst stomach ache you’d ever experienced. You thought a shower might make you feel better, that your body was just disagreeing with something you’d eaten the day before.

It got worse. It seemed that anything you did made the nausea flare up. All you wanted to do was be Joel’s princess for the day, to whine until he took you in his arms and hushed your cries with sweet words and sweeter kisses.

But he had patrol that day, and you didn’t want him to worry. You weren’t supposed to make him worry, you were supposed to be his good girl. You didn’t want him distracted—you knew he’d been stressed about the increased Clicker sightings and you didn’t want to add more to the burden he was already carrying.

And so you stayed silent about it. You smiled at him and sent him on his way, and finally, finally when you were alone, you snuggled up back in bed.

You were freezing. Even with the thick blankets piled on top of you, you still were shivering, and your stomach ache stayed constant. Even your mind began to fuzz to the point where you didn’t know how long it had been since Joel left. You stopped caring about the need to pretend everything was fine—you just wanted him.

You weren’t in the living room when Joel got back. Normally you’d be there waiting since it was the closest comfy place to the door, so the moment you heard the door open you could run and embrace him in a flurry of kisses.

But you weren’t there.

“Baby?” he called out, shutting the door behind him.

No response.

He frowned and took his shoes off, then shed his thick snow jacket and gloves. Beneath he was just wearing dark-washed jeans and his signature flannel.

In your room, all Joel saw was a lump beneath the thick gray comforter. “Darlin’?” Joel crossed the room and knelt beside the bed. Were you asleep? Did—

“Joel?” Your voice was strained, small. You rolled over and Joel’s stomach sank. Your eyes were hazy, your cheeks slightly flushed. Had you been crying?

“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?”

He cupped your cheek and your bottom lip quivered for a moment before you burst into tears.

“Oh, baby.” He promptly stood and got into bed with you, pulling you into his arms. You were so much smaller than him, so easy to pick up and hold against him. “I gotcha. Shh,” he soothed.

You cried quietly into his chest as you clung to him while he smoothed back your hair and pressed gentle kisses to your head. His words were soft murmurs.

“It’s okay darlin’, I’m here now. S’alright….deep breaths sweetheart, can you do that for me? Can you—oh, good girl. That’s it, just keep taking deep breaths for me…”

Eventually your sobs quieted, though a tear still fell down your cheek every now and then. After a few more minutes of holding you, Joel spoke again.

“What’s wrong, honey?” he prompted. “Can you tell me what happened?”

You sniffled. “Just….” Your brow creased. “Jus’ don’t feel good.”

Joel hummed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want you to worry.” Your bottom lip trembled. “I didn’t want—“

“Hey, don’t start again,” he cooed softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “You don’t ever have to think that ever again, you hear? I like worrying about you. You’re my baby, ‘s my job to take care of you.”

He saw your reaction to that—lips parting, brows relaxing, eyes going a little doe like.

“You like hearin’ me say that?” he murmured, thumb gently caressing your cheekbone, catching another stray tear. “Like that I take care of you?”

You nodded, eyes big and wide.

Joel kissed your forehead. “You need me to distract you a little bit baby? Make all the bad feelings go away for awhile?”

“Mhmm.” Your little voice was breathless.

Joel chuckled. “Alright honey. You just keep laying there n’ lookin’ pretty—don’t gotta do any of the work.”

Your head had been fuzzy before because of the sickness, but it was nothing compared to now. When Joel talked to you like this, held you like this…it made everything around him grow foggy.

He slid his hand beneath the waistband of your sweatpants and his index finger started to tease your bud over your panties. You squirmed.

“Wigglin’ already baby? I haven’t even done anything yet.” You could hear the smile in Joel’s voice.

His fingers slid past your underwear to dip into your wetness. You whined and tucked your face into the crook of his neck, embarrassed at how slippery you were already.

Joel chuckled and held you tighter. “It’s okay, sweet girl. Nothing wrong with bein’ ready.”

You whimpered as his fingers circled the outside of your entrance. You shook your head at his teasing. “Want your cock,” you whined so sweetly in his ear. “I can take it, promise….just want you to make it all better.”

“Awe baby,” Joel crooned, pressing another kiss to your hair. “Okay. Just give me a sec…”

He shifted to pull down his pants and boxers and toss them to the side. He was already hard against your hip. Laying side-by-side, your chest to his, Joel slid his length past your folds.

Oh….you could have sworn you forgot about your aches and pains right in that moment. He made you feel so full. He was so big, so thick and warm….you could feel him all the way up in your tummy.

Joel let out a sigh that bordered on a groan. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart. So good…”

He started to rock his hips gently and you whimpered, burying your face into his chest.

He chuckled. “So shy, baby. That’s okay, you just sit there…don’t gotta worry about a single thing.”

One of your legs hooked over his hip as his pace sped up and you clung to him the whole way through. You felt so…so…oh, you feel him dragging along your walls so nicely. You were absolute putty in his arms—Joel always made you feel that way, always gave you such big feelings it made you feel too small to hold them all.

“So good, baby,” he cooed. “Such a good girl, taking me so well…just lay there and let me fill you up—oh, you’re so tight around me princess…”

You could feel it then, that big feeling. The one that made you whimper and whine, trying to hide your face more than it already was. “Joel…”

“It’s okay, just let it happen.” His pelvis was rubbing against your bundle of nerves oh so nicely it made you dizzy. “Let me feel you finish on my cock, darlin’, you’re so good for me, so good…”

Every coo and murmur only brought you higher. You let out another high-pitched whine as the feeling started to become too much, too tight too hot too everything, oh you were right there, you…

You cried out as you reached your peak and then fell over the edge. Joel held you the whole way through as you clenched around him and he spilled inside of you, murmuring praises the whole time.

“Good girl, good girl….my pretty baby, you’re doing so well, taking my cock in that pretty pussy of yours….that’s it sweetheart…”

He rocked his hips gently to help bring you down from your high, slowly decreasing his pace until he came to an eventual stop.

He held you in his arms, your body against his. You hummed contentedly and nuzzled at his neck.

Joel smiled. “Feel better, sweet girl?”

“Mmm.”

Joel chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He kissed your forehead. “Why don’t we get in the bath for a bit to clean up, and then I’ll make you some soup? Nothing that will be too harsh on your stomach.”

You blinked drowsily and nodded. “Mhmm. I’d like that.”

Yes, you’d like that very much indeed.

[bellisima-writes]

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[thanosscross]

Fake Girlfriend, Fake Boyfriend, Silly! - Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P x reader part 2

Summary: Taking a day off from tour, the boys and you make the most of it, going out to party Seung Hyun ends up saying more than what he means too

Warnings: A very drunk and sensitive Seung Hyun

In between shows were always your favorite, it gave you time to enjoy whatever town you were in, this time, it allowed you to relax with your favorite guys, too worn out to really want to do anything other than lay around. As you walked into the shared hotel room you noticed the messy empty room, not a single person to be found.

The boys sat on the couch in the conference room laughing as they answered another question "So, T.o.p, You're now officially on tour with your girlfriend, Y/n, that's got to be exciting, where is she?" The woman asked kindly watching as the boys started to coo at their older friend causing his cheeks up "Y-Yea, it's amazing, Y/n's a really talented artist and being able to work with her has definitely been a change of pace from these weirdos" Seung Hyun teased before glancing at the small clock mounted to the wall, furrowing his eyebrows as he noticed it was almost noon and you still hadn't tried messaging or calling any of the boys yet. "As for where she is...She is sleeping upstairs, waking her up is harder than any tour" Ji-Yong added on, leaning over as Seung Hyun checked his phone, Dae-Sung laughing loudly as he saw a message come through

'I swear if you boys left me here alone, I will shave each and every head of hair while you sleep'

"She's so violent!" He laughed loudly as the others leaned over laughing and giggling as they read your message, Finishing up the interview the boys raced to their hotel room, the boys wanting to tell you all the sweet things Seung Hyun said about you, Seung Hyun wanting to get to you before them. You stood cluelessly in your own hotel room, trying to get your hair to lay flat "Y/n!!" You heard their shouts before you saw them all trying to rush through the doorway together "Seung Hyun said you're very talented!" Dae-Sung "He also said he loves his girl!!" Tae-Yang shouted, Seung Hyun stood behind them, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck "I was just acting like a boyfriend" He mumbled following the others into your hotel room "You're very sweet, Aein" You smiled softly, turning to face them all, they all just chose different spots to sit as they sighed "So, what're the plans for today?" You asked sweetly, sitting down next to Ji-Yong on the bed "I would say club, but last time darling over here almost got herself and Seung Hyun in a scandal getting caught grinding on a different guy one night, in reality there wasn't really an issue other than Seung Hyun's jealousy, but to the fans who genuinely thought you and Top were together, they saw it as cheating.

"I didn't mean to!" You shouted throwing yourself onto the bed "Listen! I learned my limit that night!" You added on in protest causing the boys to laugh loudly at your defensiveness "Dalkomi, if you want to go out, I'll go with" Seung Hyun offered.

Which is how you ended up tipsy with a drunk Seung Hyun, you weren't sure how he was so drunk until you noticed one of the V.I.P waitresses refilling his glass anytime it got low. You were having fun though, the boys somewhere on the dance floor other than Ji-Yong, who volunteered to help you make sure nobody went to extreme tonight considering you had a show tomorrow night. "Seung Hyun! You can't grab her like that!" Ji-Yong laughed out watching as his friend very easily moved you around him as he danced, his hands planted firmly on your waist. You just blushed giggling loudly, you liked drunk Seung Hyun, it wasn't often you saw him, but whenever you did, it was always fun, it was always so silly and even flirtier, all while being incredibly sensitive. You squealed as Seung Hyun lifted you into the air, smacking your ass, if it weren't for the fact you were so comfortable with him, you most likely would've smacked him square across the face. "Seung Hyun! Put her down!" Ji-Yong laughed rushing over to you both to keep his hands over Seung Hyun's not wanting to see you get hurt. Placing you on your feet Seung Hyun shot a glare to his friend "She's myyy girl, I would never hurt her!" He slurred, protectively hugging you as he pulled you closer by your hips. You were a flustered mess, between your own alcohol consumption and the high you got just from being around Seung Hyun you were a mess, and Ji-Yong noticed. "Y/n! You want to take him home?" He asked, leaning closer to your ear so you could hear him closely, you nodded in agreement turning your attention to Seung Hyun "You're so pretty" He mumbled admiring the way your eyes were shining under the club lights "Thank you, handsome...Why don't we go back to the hotel?" You asked, taking his hand in yours "I don't want to leave yet, though" He frowned, you just giggled in reply taking his hand into yours gently before leading him to the car that sat waiting outside "I love you, y/n" He slurred as you helped him into the car "Awe, I love you too, you're my best friend" You smiled, squeezing his hand, frowning whenever you watched his face fall "No. I love you, y/n, you're so pretty..and nice..and you always take care of us whenever we need it" He emphasized, turning his head to look at you, you couldn't help but blush, reminding yourself he was always flirty when he was drunk. "You're very sweet, Aein..But let's worry about getting you inside" You offered, taking his hand slowly scooting out of the car as it came to a stop outside of your hotel, getting him inside was nothing, it was getting him to stay in his room.

It had been a good three minutes of not seeing or hearing Seung Hyun which made you worried, as you walked into the connecting room, your heart broke, Seung Hyun drunkenly cried into Ji-Yong's arms who just rubbed his friend's back "She loves you, Seung hyun, but you are drunk, so now is not the time to try and tell her-" He was cut off by his friend "She's just...so nice to me" He sniffled, holding his friends shoulders as Ji-yong laughed softly, remembering an almost similar between you and him a few months after coming out with your fake relationship "I understand that, and she is very nice, but you are going to regret not shutting up in the morning" He replied, trying to help his friend lay down, Seung Hyun just let out another flood of tears fall "Ji-yong..I've got this, love" You said softly making your way to your friend taking his hand in yours before offering him a sympathetic smile "Come on, you can crash with me" You offered helping him to his feet as he smiled at you "See? She's so nice!" Seung hyun cried out as you pulled him to your hotel room, shutting the door so the others could go to sleep as well. "Dalkomi" Seung Hyun called as he fell back onto the bed "Yes?" You asked walking over to help him take off his belt and shoes "Do you want to change?" Your voice was soft, forcing Seung Hyun's attention to it as he took in every little feature of your face like he had done plenty of times before.

Seung Hyun stopped thinking for a moment, even drunk he wasn't sure about taking his clothes off, he knew you'd never be rude towards him or his body, but his mind couldn't stop throwing different situations at him. He was pulled from his racing thoughts by your soft hand cupping his cheek "Seung hyun...You don't have too...or I can step out for a moment?" You offered softly, Seung Hyun wished you'd just stop, stop being so nice to him and making him fall in love you, but you just kept going, even whenever you were grumpy and angry at him, he still liked it. "I love you" He said, holding your hand in both of his, pressing it against his lips gently "Seung Hyun..why don't we talk about this..in the morning?" You hesitated, were you really about to have this conversation with him? "I love you too, more than you know...but Ji-Yong is right, now is not the time" You explained, watching his eyes glisten with excitement for a moment before he nodded "I'll change" He stated after a moment, standing up making his way to your bathroom, pulling his shirt off as he turned to enter the room. It took a few moments, but once Seung Hyun got his night clothes on, he looked in the mirror, taking in his state.

You nervously let your knuckles hit against the bathroom door softly "Aein..Are you okay?.." You called, worried something might've happened, instead the door just slowly opened, you cheeks Immediately heated up with a blush as you noticed his bare chest right in front of you "Yea..yea, I'm okay" He smiled, you took his hand helping him walk properly back to the bed, helping him lay down before going to get changed yourself. It wasn't long before Seung Hyun saw you shyly emerge from the bathroom "U-Um I can't get this..undone, will you?" You asked walking over to him, before sitting down in front of you friend, showing him the dress zipper that was caught in the fabric. You felt a shiver run down your back as your felt his hands brush against your skin, feeling him struggle with the fabric before you felt the dress start to slide down your body, the zipper finally giving up it's hold on the dress fabric setting you free. You quickly caught the fabric holding it to your chest as you rushed back into the bathroom to finish changing, as Seung Hyun laid back down he couldn't push the image of you sitting in front of him with your dress half way down, out of his head, the way your beauty just sucked all of his attention amazed him in the best ways.

You made your way back to the bed, wearing only a pair of night shorts and Seung Hyun's hoodie as you crawled underneath the covers next to Seung Hyun. Glancing over taking in his lost in thought expression, you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, pulling him to closer to lay his head on your shoulder "I promise..We'll talk in the morning, if you still want too" You assured, resting your head on the top of his as you started to doze off.

The next morning you woke up hopeful, but as the day passed on, the more you got a nerve wracking feeling in your chest, Seung Hyun was acting as if nothing had happened the night before, you knew he was drunk, but he couldn't of been that drunk, right? You stood back stage, waiting for the cue to begin you looked at Seung Hyun, he was joking around pushing Dae-sung off of his mark, getting pushed back in return. Hearing that you'd be delayed by five minutes you took your chance to step towards your friend looking up at him "Seung Hyun..what are we?" you asked quietly, hoping the others wouldn't hear, but unfortunately for everybody, they saw exactly what was happening. "What're you talking about? We're fake girlfriend and boyfriend, silly" He chuckled, his face dropping whenever the props started to move suddenly, the screams of the fans getting louder, panicking knowing neither of you were on your marks, Seung Hyun quickly wrapped his arms around your waist dipping you down as he pressed his lips to your cheek, holding you there until the music started.

You'd all be lying if you said this performance wasn't different than the others, there was something between you and Seung Hyun and everybody could see it, you tried to keep your feelings shoved down as you preformed, as soon as your show ended you were quick to go to your hotel room, locking yourself in not wanting to do anything other than sleep and mentally kick yourself for being so hopeful and stupid.

--

You like? Also per requests, Up next on the posting schedule is part four of in my club! And then possibly part two of There all along! So keep your eyes peeled for those! <3 Excited to hear from you lovelies!

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Taglist!!

@ag022123

@acehasmyheart

@heartz4rubyy

@lilou-0401

[thewalrusespublicist]

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

[tales-of-wocdes]

Mc going inside the kitchen on their own just holding up an empty bowl for more food like a sad little orphan they are and havard finding them sitting on top of the kitchen counter fed by a dozen or so different staff who coo at them and complain for them to eat more so they aren't just skin and bone like a group of mother hens, distant aunt's and uncles.

And good heavens! when did the twins appear here too? Stop feeding them so much sugar sweets! do you all know how hard it is to bath and put to bed a kid with a sugar rush?!

Just like you practiced... You sneak into kitchens with your empty bowl. It is the middle of the day which is perfect for your purposes.

Oh, someone is already noticing you! You have to hurry, the woman is coming over.

So you sit on the floor, and hold out your bowl. You make your eyes as large as possible. Just like Lexia taught you. She said, you are very good at looking pitiful... not sure what that means but your eyes are apparently good.

You can already see the woman's steps falter for a moment. Then she doubles her speed.

It's working!

You barely have time to process what happens. "No sitting on the floor in my kitchen, you little brat!" She says, while scooping you up, and plopping you down to sit on the counter. "You!" She points at a young man, and grabs your bowl at the same time. "Get the wyvern stew." She throws your bowl at the man who rushes off to a huge pot on the fire that smells really good.

The woman spins around and inspects you. "Look at you, all skin and bones. What has Havard been feeding you, brat? You need meat on those bones." The woman muttered.

-----------------------------------------------

Havard was looking for MC who was not at their room. Having asked Lexia via the communicator pin, he was now heading to the kitchen.

He arrived to find a scene that made him stop to watch the chaos. MC was sitting on the counter, stuffing their face with the help of several cooks where their own hands failed. Bruna, the head cook, loudly complained about the state MC was in between making sure the child was chewing properly and spoon-feeding MC... was that wyvern stew?

"All those ancients and can't even cure a little brat's hands... What are they good for then?" She wiped MC's mouth. "Is that good?" MC nodded, licking their lips.

"Good." Bruna tapped a cook cooing at MC on the shoulder. "Bring some of that glowberry pudding we made earlier. That should be easy to eat for dessert." She gestured towards a massive bowl full of faintly glowing pudding. MC perked up trying to see, but was distracted by a hand holding out a massive cookie that needed eating.

The cook rushed off to get some pudding. Havard could swear that there was already a clear hole in the massive pudding pile...

Bruna grabbed another cook by the hand, stopping them from giving MC a cup of something steaming. "That's emberoot juice! You want the brat to not taste anything for the week? Get something milder. Frostmelon or moonmoss." Bruna turned back to MC, seeing the cookie. "Or milk. Get milk."

"You know... I have been watching it happen and I still have no idea how the kid keeps eating." Havard glanced tot the side to find Lexia watching the scene, eating her owl bowl of stew. "It's a wonder the kid hasn't burst open yet."

Havard did observe that every cook wanted to feed MC something... and was succeeding at least when Bruna did not stop them.

"Also, look there." Lexia said and pointed.

Under the pudding table, a pair of small hands were holding out two empty bowls... The cooks pretended not to notice aside from the one who grabbed the bowls, filled them with pudding and slid them under the table.

"The twins?" Havard asked.

"Yep. Only deserts go under that table. Alessa and Sandor were by three times, but the cooks pretended not to know where the twins were. Got hit with the double puppy eyes early on and have not recovered since."

Havard sighed. He was the head custodian... It was his duty to put a stop to this. They probably already had two kids on a sugar rush, and MC was getting there....

At least MC was eating actual food... He hoped they would not throw up.

Havard decided he would do his duty... after he had a bowl of that stew.

[feroluce]

I've been yapping at a new friend a lot lately about Boothill & Rappa; she described them as "sidekicks in chaos" and! Yes! Finally!Someone else gets it! They're SO cute and so sweet, I adore them. They speak so highly about each other and they have a lot of respect between them! I love them being friends!

With the way Rappa calls him Lord (vs Ninja for everyone else) and how much she openly admires and mimics him, I'd like to think Boothill was the one that showed her the ropes when she was first brought into the Galaxy Rangers. Mentor/mentee and teacher/student are too strong of labels for how I see them, though.

Rappa and Boothill are like a college senior taking the new little freshman under their wing. Or the much older and more experienced coworker trying to look out for the fresh-faced little newbie who's just entering the workforce.

As for how they met and became friends in the first place, I like to imagine it was a case of Boothill's soft heart and being unable to turn a blind eye to things. ☆

Like Boothill wasn't on the mission where the Galaxy Rangers found Rappa, he was off on his own Hunt at the time. But given that the Galaxy Rangers have a leader (La Mancha) and they do seem to have some kind of organized efforts, I wonder if there's any kind of secret hq, or at least certain places where they tend to congregate, like how the Masked Fools have their taverns. Anyway.

Boothill maybe sees Rappa for the first time at one of these hqs (he came back when he heard there'd been a major breakthrough with Dr. Primitive). Or he maybe just happens to run into that Galaxy Ranger from 2.6 that initially found her, who then just. Wasn't really sure what to do with her after the raid. Boothill walks in all these Rangers sitting around like "well now what" because none of them actually expected Rappa to survive the memetic virus. Honestly, her brain should have fried.

Either way, Boothill comes across her by total coincidence. But I think he'd have a lot of sympathy for her because like. Aeragan-Epharshel had been an uncontacted planet before the IPC came around. And since they were there to fuck the place up, they definitely didn't expose the natives to the rest of the cosmos. To say that Boothill "left" the planet is a massive underestimation- he didn't just leave, he escaped. And when he got out, he was completely alone, with very little idea how the rest of the world worked or how to get by.

And right now, Rappa is much the same.

She doesn't know anything beyond the lab she was held captive in all her life. There's no way they would have allowed her to learn that kind of stuff, and I'm sure Kucha wouldn't have told her out of kindness. It would be cruel to taunt her with things she couldn't have.

So someone needs to teach her The Ways of the World! It's just a matter of deciding who.

Boothill: ...What're you morons doing.

The Rangers, in the middle of a very intense rock-paper-scissors tournament:

And Boothill likes these people. He really does! ...Ok, except that one guy. He's kind of a prick. But the rest of them are at least mostly decent! But he wouldn't trust them to keep a pool, let alone a whole human being. If he lets this girl go with any of these dumbasses, there's no way she'll make it. So Boothill smacks them around a bit and announces fine, he'll show the new girl how to be a Galaxy Ranger! If any of them have a problem with this, feel free to make complaints to his revolver ☆

Rappa watches all this go down with stars in her eyes, because Boothill is just like the heroes in her manga! Wow! So cool!

(When it came time to actually leave though, Rappa made some sad eyes at the Ranger from 2.6 that actually found her- for better or worse, she got a little attached. The Ranger told her to go on! Go! Just get out of here!

It's very important to imagine this like a movie where the kid frees the wild animal they bonded with skhzksksjk)

Afterwards, Boothill does actually take Rappa aside and ask if she even wants to be a Ranger. If she doesn't, it's fine. The Galaxy Rangers do a lot of charity work, and everyone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone. They'll find somebody that can help her figure things out and get settled. She can have an actual life now.

Rappa gives a passionate speech (that Boothill catches about 50% of sdlkfjasdl) about how she wants nothing more. She'd wanted it before she even knew the name for it. This was what she'd dreamed of, laying across the bed in Kucha's room, reading through his manga collection for the nth time.

Kucha isn't with her anymore. He'd died just to get her out of there. But she can take the opportunity he gave her and make the most of it. She can still keep her dream alive.

So yes, Rappa wants to be a Ninja Hero. Please teach her!

(Boothill: Bein' a Galaxy Ranger ain't easy shirt. Ya gotta be able to hold yer own in a fight. Can ya even do that?

And then Rappa fucking suplexed him and Boothill was like ok so the first parta bein' a Galaxy Ranger is- JSJJSJDKSK)

They're mentioned together so much outside of the main game, too. So I'd like to think even after Boothill passed on to Rappa all the street smarts he could, they still remained pretty friendly, and make the time and effort to meet up whenever they pass nearby. They just ended up getting along so well!

Like no, they don't see each other very often. They're each on their own separate Hunt. Galaxy Rangers still largely work alone. But they're the kind of buddies that can still happily greet each other the same even after months of not speaking. ♡

(Clutching my heart imagining Boothill telling Rappa she is now a full-fledged Ninja Hero, and she is now strong enough to make her solo journey! But he does give her his phone number. And he tells her that if she's in trouble- like real, real bad trouble- call him. Call him and he'll come runnin', to any corner of the galaxy, ok?)

[homestuckreplay]

has anyone else noticed that homestuck is getting kinda long?

(page 1145-1148; some thoughts on pacing and accessibility)

Jade’s bass playing to grow or move the lilypads works, and was well foreshadowed – in addition to both her bass playing pages where the garden atrium grows because of the amp in there (p.822, 1026), Jade captchalogues the bass (p.823) and the narration specifically notes ‘You take the PORTABLE AMP from the WALL SOCKET too.’ It feels like Act 3 has been entirely leading up to Jade entering these ruins.

In ‘[S] Jade: Pester John’ (p.1073), Bec guards the mystic ruins on Jade’s island, and a glowing white spirograph in the ‘same’ location mapped onto Prospit. So it’s a fair guess that the white spirograph was also present on ancient Earth, and may have been the cause of the ruins’ construction. And that means it might still be within the ruins, and could act as a portal to Skaia, which would allow Jade to go there while she’s awake. If she did that, could she travel to Prospit and find her own dream self? Or is her dream self only present on Prospit when her waking self is asleep? Either way, I think these ruins will be Jade’s backdoor into Sburb.

I love all three of these Jade pages for the visuals – 1145 because it’s cool when two panels match up into one bigger one (and interesting to think about why this was chosen instead of one bigger panel – maybe because one is Jade and one is the amp, and they’re two separate focal points?) and 1146 because Jade imagining herself as a frog as she jumps over lilypads is so fun and silly. I checked Wikifur and apparently amphibians such as frogs are classified under scalies, which is different to her interest in a ‘proud snout’, ‘the hunt’ and ‘claiming the night’ (p.797) but still fits with her desire for ‘a more visceral sapience’ and escaping the confines of humanity. So I feel like Jade doesn’t have one specific fursona, and wants to keep her options open with different animals.

And 1147 is just incredible – the glowing green symbols look like something from a hacker movie, like Jade’s entering a digital space, but at the same time we know this is physical stone and ancient hieroglyphs. Those things being meshed is very cool to me, and it makes me wonder just how much of all human technology was originally from Skaia. The mesmerizing soft glow gives the page a dreamlike quality, a reminder that Jade doesn’t have a plan, she’s just following instructions from her dreams and acting on faith.

John told Dave ‘i think you should use your copy of the game to help [rose]!’ on page 294, and it has taken 854 pages and over half a year in real time for him to install the game and help, but they are finally making this transpire. I was saying yesterday how Jade challenges Rose, and today I’m saying that Dave doesn’t challenge Rose at all. They have great banter, but Rose always has a leg up on it – and I think she types and/or thinks faster too, as she gets in her ‘Go on.’ before Dave can finish his ‘where making this’ sentence, when usually he’s the one to send a bunch of messages in a row.

Here’s the thing. I am speaking directly to Rose Lalonde here. Hi Rose, I understand that your house is burning down and things suck right now and you should not have to be the person who has to micromanage all your friends and deal with this entire situation alone. However. You are being dumb as shit by not giving Dave some basic instructions on exactly what to do the second he loads the game. You know that kid is not gonna read your GameFAQs. You know he can dish out those giant long monologues but he cannot take them. Please Rose, for your own safety and possibly the future of humanity or something, give the guy like three bullet points.

...no? Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference instead? Okay then.

This update also comes with a newspost, which I’m going to quote in full below.

That's my cue to disappear. Time for me to vanish into the animation abyss for a while. Let's give it a week, tops. If you're one of those people who has trouble keeping up with all the updates I bury you with, maybe now's a good time to catch up. And if you're one of those people who's finding everything going on in the story to be somewhat confusing and overwhelming, then maybe now is a good time to go back and reread it all. I'm pretty sure about 95% of all MSPA readers huddle somewhere beneath this umbrella. (/news 8 January 2010)

I have been thinking about the update frequency, and thought I was projecting because I definitely put an above average amount of time into Homestuck, but maybe this is a bigger issue. People only have so much time in the day, but some people do have more time than others. Relative to other webcomics, Homestuck asks readers to put a lot more time into it, a lot more frequently – both because the updates come fast and because the story is complex. It rewards people who do put a lot of time into it, because the small details, patterns and parallels, time loops, etymologies, and opportunities to predict and even influence (via user commands) the story encourage people to stay up to date, to read closely and reread often. The more effort you put into reading Homestuck, the more you get out of it, and that’s incredible, but it’s definitely made by and for people who have a lot of leisure time. So, young middle class people, especially teenagers and college students who don’t need jobs, and people who are socially isolated for whatever reason, will be way overrepresented. (I do this project because I love it and I do it by choice, but balancing this with work and school and relationships and my other major hobby is not easy especially with what’s felt like a recent increase in update frequency!)

This quality also makes it more competitive with other webcomics – someone might have time to keep up with, say, 20 webcomics that post a once per day or three times a week strip that stands alone or is part of a relatively simple story. If that person wants to follow Homestuck, they might have to drop down to 15 or even 10 other comics, because this one takes up such a disproportionate amount of space. This idea of creators putting out constant content to stay afloat on a transient internet, such that it could be a full time job to keep up with it (and sometimes is – there’s franchises that have in-house lore experts because creators themselves struggle to keep track of stories) will become huge in the future. And when we can all only pick a couple pieces of media to stay up to date with, life gets harder for smaller, newer and part time creators, who can’t provide that yet. And yeah I’m probably part of that problem.

I might also disappear for a few days to work on end of act 3 stuff! or I might not! if I have anything to say in the meantime or any fun asks then I will post. but at the absolute latest I will post on the day EOA3 drops and if I don’t do that then send an ambulance to my house.

> John: Ascend to First Gate.

[mattsfavouritewhore]

Just Go part 4... The End - Chris Sturniolo

a/n: welcome to the end pookies!! enjoy

just go part 2 part 3

you felt like a stranger in your own skin as you pushed through the crowded party. The thumping bass of the music vibrated through your bones, but it couldn’t drown out the thudding of your heart. you had come here to escape, to forget, but now the weight of what happened earlier felt suffocating. Chris likes Harper. Not you.

Why did you even come? pushing past a couple of people laughing by the kitchen. But as you walked deeper into the house, your eyes naturally found Chris. He was standing in a small circle with some friends, but Harper—of course—was right there, leaning into him as if they were already in their own world.

The sight twisted something in your chest. It wasn’t just jealousy anymore—it was something sharper, like betrayal. seeing it now, in person, felt like salt in an open wound.

Before you could look away, Chris caught their eye. The flicker of recognition passed between you guys, and in that instant, everything seemed to stop. He excused himself from Harper and started making his way toward you. your pulse quickened, a mixture of fury and something else—something that felt uncomfortably like longing.

No. you couldn’t do this. Not tonight. Not after everything.

When Chris reached them, he was breathing a little heavier than usual, clearly flustered. “Hey,” he said, running a hand through his hair, his voice hesitant. “You made it.”

You crossed their arms tightly, feeling a rush of emotions you couldn’t process all at once. you forced a tight smile. “Yeah, I thought I’d come for the free drinks and the real entertainment.”

Chris winced at the sarcasm. “I know things have been weird... but I didn’t think it was this bad.” His gaze flickered toward Harper, who was watching them from across the room.

Chris’s expression faltered, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, Y/N. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Is that what you tell yourself?” you asked, unable to keep the edge from your voice. “You think you can just sweep everything under the rug, pretend like I don’t have feelings? Because here’s the truth, Chris: I’m not the one who needs to be protected here.”

Chris stepped forward, his voice dropping. “Y/N, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me. You’ve always been...” He stopped, looking lost for words.

“Always been what?” you challenged, your voice growing colder. “Your second choice? Your fall-back plan? Is that it?”

Chris’s face softened with regret, his eyes desperate. “No, you’re not that to me. I care about you. But...”

“But?” you repeated, cutting him off. “But what? You care about me, but you’ve been chasing Harper this entire time, Chris. How long were you planning on stringing me along? Because, news flash, I’m not waiting for you to figure it out anymore.”

Chris opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Harper suddenly appeared at his side, her voice dripping with sweetness, but with a dangerous edge. “What’s going on here, you two? Did you need a little private chat?”

you turned to face her, your pulse quickening. Harper’s eyes gleamed with a strange satisfaction as she looked between you and Chris. She wasn’t even pretending to hide the power she had over him. “I think Chris has been very clear about his feelings, haven’t you, babe?”

Chris’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t answer. Instead, his eyes flickered briefly to you, almost like he was looking for approval, but he said nothing.

your heart felt like it was breaking, but you refused to let it show. Instead, you looked right at Harper, cutting through the tension. “You two are really something, aren’t you?” you said, your voice like ice. “You’ve been playing this game for months, pretending you care about me when all along you were just setting me up as some... rebound.”

Harper shrugged, unfazed. “Rebound? Maybe. But if the shoe fits…” She tossed her hair back with a smug smirk. “To be fair, I didn’t think he was going to fall for you. But he did. I guess it was fun while it lasted.”

you stared at Harper, anger and hurt crashing through you, but something deep inside clicked. you were done being the victim of this twisted little game. you turned to Chris, your eyes narrowing. “I’m done with both of you,” you said flatly.

But just as you turned to leave, something unexpected happened. Chris grabbed your wrist, his grip firm but gentle. “Wait,” he said urgently. “Y/N, please listen.”

you spun around, eyes blazing. “No. I’m done listening. I’m done with the lies, done with being a fucking second choice.” you yanked their wrist out of his grasp.

But Chris didn’t let go. He pulled you in, his hands on your shoulders, his eyes locking with yours in a way you'd never seen before. “Y/N, don’t walk away. I fucked up,” he said, his voice low but earnest. “I’ve been a coward, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark. But it was never about Harper. It was always you. You just... you have to trust me on this.”

you felt a mix of disbelief and something else—a rush of longing you had tried to suppress for so long. The anger was still there, but it was tangled up with something raw. Something real.

“Prove it,” you whispered, barely able to hear their own voice over the pounding music. “Prove that you want me. Because right now, I’m not sure you even know who the hell I am.”

Chris took a step back, eyes wide, then nodded. “I can prove it. I will. Just give me a chance.”

you stared at him for a long moment, your breath catching in your throat. you could feel Harper’s eyes burning into them from across the room, but for the first time that night, you didn’t care.

“Fine,” you said finally, their voice low. “You’ve got one chance to make this right, Chris. Don’t screw it up.”

Chris’s face broke into a genuine, relieved smile. And for the first time, it wasn’t forced. “I won’t,” he promised, his voice filled with determination.

He drags you to the yard, away from all the people, away from the music and the alcohol..

it was just the two of you.

“I was a mess, Y/N. I was so scared to face the truth that I just let things happen. I didn’t know how to break things off with Harper, and I thought… I thought I could handle everything, but I can’t. I didn’t want to lose you, but I knew I was losing myself by trying to keep you around while still being hung up on her. I messed up, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m willing to prove to you that I can be the person you deserve.”

You listened as he explained himself, still not understanding why he chose harper over you, why he did what he did if this is how he truly felt.

“I don’t expect you to trust me right away, but I need you to know that I’m here for the long haul. I don’t want to play games anymore. No more secrets. I’m not perfect, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this right. But I need you to tell me what you need. I can’t fix things unless you let me know what you need from me.”

He tucks a strand of her hair, kissing her cheek before getting up and walking away. you watch him leave, being left alone with your thoughts.. would he ever tell you why he did what he did? should you forgive him? it all came crashing into your thoughts.

A few days go past, you hadnt heard from chris until one night he messages you..

Chris:

“I know you’ve been dying to see that documentary about that photographer you love. I got us tickets for tomorrow night. no pressure. But I want to spend some time with you, the right way. If you’re up for it, I’m here.”

You smile at your phone, quickly responding "sure"

Chris continued to spoil you, not really going into detail abt harper and why he randomly switched up from you to harper back to you but he made it clear that harper was no longer an issue.

you decided to give Chris another chance, but on your terms. you're not rushing into anything—you've learnt to trust yourself first, and now, you need to trust Chris with a more open heart. Chris’s consistent actions, honesty, and vulnerability make all the difference. Slowly, you lets down your guard. you find yourself laughing again in each other’s company, planning things together, and feeling like you can be your true selves with him—no games, no secrets.

you guys take your time. There’s no immediate rush to label things, but trust and communication gradually grow back, until one day, Chris holds your hand and says, “I’m not going anywhere. I want this with you, for real. You’re it.”

you, with a soft smile, reply, “I believe you.”

a/n: this is pretty rushed bc i geniunely had zero of an idea on how to finish the series.

tags: @riggysworld @watercolorskyy @courta13

[alessabriel]

Only one doll.

Summary: They found something to hold on to, to love and they won't let go, even if you want to run away from them...you never can (or so they thought).

Cw. Dark content, typical canon violence, gore, mental disorders, suicidal thoughts, dark CaitVi, dark romance (or worse), dead dove, divergence from canon at best.

"You just have to obey, okay? We don't like to hurt you," Caitlyn said in a soft, measured, controlled voice, looking at her with her one uncovered eye and cradling her chin, lifting her up so that their gazes would meet.

The doll can only see that face she loved one day, features that showed pure and sincere love at one time now staining so slowly with profuse, deep and terrifying darkness. Intentions that are not hidden in those eyes I once loved and intentions that intend to leave her disabled, at her mercy, at the mercy of both.

She lives in a hell coated in gold.

Fear begins to rise so fast, as the grip on her chin increases in strength and terror settles under her ribs enlarging until it occupies all available space, pressing her organs outward, pressing against her ribs so hard that they may well break under the weight of the doll's fear of them and it is impossible for her not to shed tears, to tremble when she hears that purposefully heavy gait.

"I-I'll be good, I promise" stammers the doll with pain breathing through her pores, tears pooling in her eyes but refusing to shed them until she feels a finger press against the bullet wound in her leg and the doll stifles a scream, pulling away from the sheriff's hands trying not to go crazy; she had tried to run away and had almost succeeded but a bullet in her thigh had knocked her down "I-I'll be good, I'll be good, I'll be good I swear, I swear, I swear, I swear" the doll recites desperately trying not to throw up, not to look them in the face because that will destroy the only good memories she has of them; Caitlyn and Vi.

But they won't allow her that indulgence.

"Lift your head girl" Vi commands, her voice being soft but there is a steel underneath, a steel that could very well hurt that forces the doll to obey; she sits up lifting her head still on her knees in her room and looking at Vi with her eyes watering with tears "Will you do it again? Use your head silly girl you can't run away, we had already told you"

The doll only feels the bile in her throat, the voice she once adored and the soft eyes she once loved for how sincere they were, right now she wished to tear them out with her own fingers or her own to never see her again. He once loved her voice that whispered love in his ears, that assured him to love her as intensely as he loved the Sheriff, maybe it wasn't true and it was all a lie from both of them.

"We don't want to increase your punishments" she tried, again to sound kind Caitlyn but irony, mockery and sarcasm seeped into her tone.

She understood, and could only grit her teeth, holding back that will go like boiling lava inside her.

"But you're making us be mean to you Is that what you want?" Vi questioned, taking a few steps closer to the sweet doll kneeling on what was once a nice light red carpet and leaned down, staring at her; still everything she loved was still there, a little stained by fear but it didn't matter and she reached out her hand, touching that angelic little face sliding her thumb down her cheek brushing away the tears "Cait and I don't want to be mean to you princess, but you're making it hard for us Running away? You understand we were scared our little love would run away"

«as if they would care, you psycho bitches» thinks the doll but she would rip her skin to shreds before she would speak in front of them, she would rip her vocal cords out if she could so she would never speak to them and never have that pair of deranged women hear her voice again. But he forces himself, he forces himself and at will, with something tucked deep in the back of his mind where they could never touch anything he would always cling to; father and sister. She disconnected, she needed to do it because she could never run away from the damn Kiramman mansion, nor Piltover and she didn't want to endanger who is like an older sister to her, truth be told she was afraid of them and of herself, dad had not raised a weak woman but right now in front of an Enforcer capable of breaking a man's skull with her bare hands and a sheriff that could shoot you even from miles away, her survival instinct came into play.

She would live, and she would mold that damned jail with her bare hands.

"I-I'll be good, sorry for escaping" the doll whispers, her voice trembling before closing her pink iris eyes and shedding tears, beginning to sob for real letting go of the emotional anguish and that tiny part that still contained hope that they would realize what they were doing was so fucking wrong but that hope shattered it and went infinite in tears of faint pink transparency "I-I was afraid and I-I was dumb, sorry, sorry, s-sorry, s-sorry"

It would return that prison of theirs, one way or another.

[acourtofthought]

After the Az bonus chapter came out, people were floored with his POV because it didn’t match the character they had created in their head. They said SJM destroyed his character. He was out of character blah blah blah. How was he out of character if SJM wrote that. He was always that way but hid it so well.

Now we have Elaine… again we have fans already saying she is easy to read and we already know who she is. According to some- she’s oh so in love with Az and happy with her sisters and hates Lucien.

I cannot tell you how excited I am for her pov to come out and her inner thoughts do not match the sweet gardener vibes on the outside. How she wants out of the NC and to explore the world. When she confesses she cannot look at Lucien because he’s too damn beautiful and everyone will smell her arousal.

What will people say then hahaha

YUP. Az wasn't out of character in his own POV, he's exactly who he's always been and Sarah was simply reminding us of the duality of how he's been written. Az has the potential for humor, he has the potential for kindness and patience, he has the potential for being a decent a likeable guy. But he also has the potential for some pretty intense rage, to show irrational and immature reactions, for his habitual behavior of placing certain women on an unsustainable pedestal while he drives himself deeper into a place of low self esteem and lack of self worth as he obsesses over them. That contrast in him was a bit shocking while in his own POV and I think it made many people feel uneasy with him but again, that is him. We witnessed it in how he acted with Mor in ACOWAR and the novella and it was continued throughout SF. I think it was just easier for people to ignore when he wasn't the main focus. And with Elain? Same. I don't doubt that Elain is still going to be sweet and loving but that doesn't mean she can't also be sassy and ready to clap back when someone sets off her temper. We've just rarely seen her in an environment (at least not until SF) where others don't treat her like she needs to be handled with kid gloves but when things got real (like we saw with her fight with Nesta) she was very real too. If Elain is happy in the NC, if it's obvious to Nesta and Feyre that Az and Elain are meant to be together and that it's clear Elain has feelings for him, if her best friends forever are Nuala and Cerridwen and that she truly has zero interest / attraction to Lucien, then why haven't we had Elain's POV? That seems a bit odd, right? If we already know everything we need to know about Elain's current state of mind then why all the secrecy? The only reason an author hides a characters inner thoughts is because their thoughts don't necessarily line up with their actions and that's exactly why Sarah left out Rhys's POV in ACOMAF. She wanted the knowledge of his feelings for Feyre and their bond (and that everything he did was for the good of Velaris / Prythian) to be a secret so that when it all came out in chapters 54 / 55, we were shocked in the best of ways. If Elain doesn't have anything to hide and we know all we need to know about her happiness and who she wants, then why has every other character who's speculated to have a book or novella received a POV but her? Lucien, Mor, Cassian, Rhys, Az, Nesta. No Elain though.

[magebastard]

when i’ve slept so soft against her

ship: neve gallus x rook ‘tula’ ingellvar

wc: 791

rating: g

notes: gay thoughts wouldn’t leave my gay brain

Neve realizes, eventually.

An understated gold ring on her middle finger becomes, three on her right hand. A subtle jeweled earring—too ornate, too fine to wear on the job—dangles from her left ear. She’s acquired a small collection of thin, gold bracelets.

(“They won’t jingle. If you ever want to wear them while you’re out on a case.”)

She has. A few times.

They’ve collected kisses and precious trinkets alike since that late afternoon at the docks. Tula isn’t versed in flirtation, only a wind-chilled honesty. It all sprouts like mint—the attachment, the fondness. What’s worse; this thing between them doesn’t feel a thing like the heady romances Neve is used to. There are no midnight trysts under the mage lights in Dock Town. There’s no dark mystery of a person to crack. It’s a dangerous unknown.

Tula throws herself like a blanket over the flames of Neve’s doubt. She’s honest because she cannot help it. It touches the bruise of Neve’s heart when she explains—lectures on—all of the reasons why it makes sense for them to be together.

“You’re a detective, I’m a scholar. We have a shared passion for understanding.”

“You love bad coffee, and I am uniquely horrible at making it. I can provide a valuable service.”

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and I’m a great admirer of beautiful things. We’re very clearly two halves of a whole.”

“If we’re having an academic discussion about size and softness, it’s obvious to me that your hands and mine are remarkably suited to hold one another.”

The debates are weak and only growing weaker as they carry on. Rook makes a compelling argument.

And when the gifts start…

Wordlessly she slides a thin golden band up to rest just above Neve’s knuckle. There’s no fuss or explanation. The detective in her cows at the fear of discovering why, so suddenly, Tula decided to give her this. But her own hands are bejeweled so haphazardly. Must be a Nevarran thing.

She’ll go with that.

Softly, softly steady hands gently adorn her in discreet, complimentary jewelry. Neve tuts.

It‘a all very sweet and exasperating. She could believe it entirely benign. If only it weren’t for her pesky propensity to put the pieces together.

“This is your grave dowry, isn’t it?”

Her dark eyes instantly betray her excitement.

“It was! The practice of Watchers hoarding gold is customary and—in my opinion—darling. It’s expected within the Mourn Watch but there are greater intentions for the wearer in death. At some point, I suppose I just-,” she stops short with a soft ‘hm’ as if only just realizing her own thoughts.

She gazes off for a moment. Tula will do this. Some errant idea will seize her, some undeniable fact will flit about, wisp-like in her mind and take her far from the conversation she was just a participant in. Neve is intimately familiar with both sides of this happening.

“I only wanted you to have them. I imagined you wearing them.”

Tula reaches for Neve’s hand and she gives it. They’re sat limbs akimbo, facing each other on Neve’s cot. They try not to think about the groaning effort of the wood beneath them.

“If it makes you uncomfortable-,”

“Not uncomfortable. I’m not much of a jewelry kind of girl, usually. An earring, at most. I’ve never thought to wear bracelets. I don’t tend to collect anything, save evidence. I don’t know if you’ve caught on—I have quite a case of tunnel vision when it comes to the job.” Her thumbs skate over Tula’s own set of rings. (Sparser, now.) “It’s a nice change.”

“They suit you.” Imploring fingers trace the thin chain resting in the dip between her collar bones. The soft touch, the chill of her skin sends a thrill up Neve’s spine. She wants to flatten her palm over that hand, pressing the print of the other woman firmly into her chest.

“It’s usually a practice for married couples. Parceling and sharing a dowry like this. I’m sorry. Again, I wasn’t-,”

“Trouble,” around a stone in her throat.

It was a mistake. A honest mistake. They haven’t been in the most reliable state of mind—neither of them have, since all of this began. And this is just one of many missteps they’ve taken so far. It isn’t even so terrible of a thing to forgive.

It was a silly mistake. No hidden meaning to be found. Tula wanted Neve to wear her jewelry and that itself was a sweet thing. It was enough and it still is. She desperately tries to catch the kite-string of her thoughts before they fly too far too fast.

I would share them. The rings, the bracelets. Say we’ll stay. Prove me wrong.

Neve loosens only one ring on her index finger, gently pulls the hand from her neck and presses it, reluctantly into Rook’s open palm. She swallows.

“No harm done.”