#like it’s ok in my mind to make noise late because she’d be a night owl. but in the morning i try to be quieter so she can sleep FNWKZJD

[lem-argentum]

i love the mlgrm plushies because they r so forehead-kissable. mwah mwah mwah mwah <3

[betterbooktitles]

I had placed a stack of albums on the counter of a tiny strip mall record shop when my smartest writer friend called me out of the blue to tell me I should “always have a mistress.”

Relax. She meant a metaphorical mistress. That is, a writing project on the side. You have your main squeeze (a novel or a script) but then you flirt with the idea of writing a YA Romance or a Thriller or (god forbid) poetry. You need something to write that feels like a break from your “Big Project.”

I was staring at the cover of Tears for Fears’ Songs From The Big Chair, imagining the person I would be once I heard “Head Over Heels” on vinyl when my phone rang. I only had the ringer on because I was waiting for a potential call from a casting director. A certain late-night show sent out a casting notice for “shirtless man” and I, without any shame, turned on the lights in my wife’s office and had her take a few shots with my phone. I had the ringer on in case a stranger got my (half) nudes in an email, and said “That’s it! Get me that torso!” I’m sorry to say, enough time has passed without a call that you will not be seeing my chest on TV any time soon. Usually, my phone remains on silent when I’m out in the world. It also remains on silent when I’m at home because I’m staring at it all day anyway. Who needs to bring noise into that equation? If you call, I’ll see it.

Between the tone of her voice and the occasional swoosh of a car going by, I could tell my friend was driving and had me on speakerphone. She was on her way to lunch with someone on the business/agency side of Entertainment, heading to a mix of pleasurable banter over food with a friend but also a business-minded networking session with someone she hadn’t seen in 6 months. This call, pleasurable to me but in retrospect a bit of business since we talked instantly and almost entirely about work for 20 minutes, was eerily fortuitous. It was like she knew I was writing this week about work and relationships.

“You have the mistress project because it makes you feel young,” she said, telling me about her decision to write 50 pages of a Romance novel. “The problem is that you think ‘Maybe I should leave my wife for this younger project.’” She had submitted the first chunk of her frivolous manuscript to an agent, and, to her horror, the agent loved it. Now she has to live with it for a while. She has to explain to her previous project that they are either in a polyamorous marriage now or about to enter a trial separation. Plus, she had to see if the mistress project was wife material or if she’d fall into the same patterns as her previous relationship. OK. We get the metaphor.

“I’m afraid my new mistress is buying dollar records,” I said, watching the traffic go by, sipping from a lid-off paper cup full of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee that, between the time I’d spent looking at records and chatting in the parking lot, had turned cold. I felt the urge to rush back into the store and apologize to Timmy the manager for stepping out. I worried he’d already re-shelved my copy of The Go-Go’s Beauty And The Beat or that someone had seen the Tears For Fears on the top of “my” unpurchased heap and bought it for himself. This shopping trip was supposed to be an Artist Date (I guess the metaphor is still going), a weekly outing you do solo to engage with your Muse before journalling about it because a book called The Artist’s Way says it’s the only way to remain creative. You woo the Muse by engaging with art alone. Typically, I’d go to a museum or a movie by myself for my Artist Date but I’d had a record player for over 2 months and had only amassed a measly hundred-plus albums in my house so far. My next Artist Date will be a trip to IKEA to buy a shelf to hold more.

“No, Dan.” My brilliant friend said, “Replacing your main project with records or books is like saying you’re not going to have a mistress and instead get into sex dolls. You need a creative project.”

Read the rest of the essay here.

[hancydrewfan]

emily, emily prentiss (where are you)

Prologue /next>

words: 1.6k

warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, angst

read on ao3 or below the cut. lemme know what you think, pals!

26 AUG 2011 - Paris

She stops in on a whim. She usually avoids Irish pubs. They make her bones itch at the thought of who she pretended to be for so long. But Lauren Reynolds is dead now, and so is Emily Prentiss, and Marie Poulin is alone. Her evening walk wasn’t enough to calm her restlessness today, and her online Scrabble friend wasn’t available to distract her. In a moment of self-pity, she decides a single drink would be all right. She’s been living in Paris for months, living frugally on the government dime, hiding in plain sight from the one man Lauren Reynolds loved, whom Emily Prentiss nearly loved and nearly killed. But Marie Poulin? She was just alone in the City of Lights, looking for something to do on a humid Friday evening in late August.

It’s dim inside, and the air is heavy with the smell of stale cigarettes and booze lingering in the carpet. She orders a double of an Irish whiskey at the bar, nods her head when the barkeep shows her the label, the delicate bird above the name implying quality. The government agencies responsible for her can splurge this once, she decides, and she leaves a generous tip at the bar as she takes the glass to a corner table. There’s a live band playing, something grungy and niche, but quiet; it seems like they’re near the end of their set, and she pays the little attention as her mind wanders.

♫ I’m gonna go to America / And kill the very first person / That I see…

She’s been here since April, escorted by a friend on a private jet while the faded yellow of old bruises still spilled from the edges of her scars, her ribs aching slightly if she took a deep breath. Every morning since then she’s thought about her friends—her family, really—and how they would be coping with the death of Emily Prentiss, reconciling the woman who was their friend and coworker with the woman who daillianced with terrorists. They deserved to mourn, so she mourned for them rather than herself. And why should she mourn for herself? Marie Poulin was fine, she was alive, and Marie Poulin didn’t know Emily Prentiss. But at this moment, Marie Poulin is just a ill-fitting shell, too small to contain the life she’d once lived, so she lets herself remember what it was like to be Emily Prentiss.

♫ Then I’m gonna disappear / No, you won’t ever / Find me…

She misses Sergio, her soft, sweet baby. Discovering she was actually a cat lady had been a surprise, but beneath every tough exterior lies a softie, and Sergio proved she was no exception. Sleep had evaded her long before she died in Boston, but at least back then she could lay in bed with Sergio’s gentle purrs beside her, curled up in a velvety black ball. Here, there is no purring at night to distract her from the city noises that put her on edge, her fight-or-flight instincts perpetually humming in the background. She was certain that Penelope was looking after sweet Sergio; he would be happy there, spoiled and loved by the kindest person she knew.

♫ Then I’m gonna reappear / Six months later, maybe / A full year…

She misses Penelope’s brightness. Her life is so grey in Paris, where even on the sunniest days she feels trapped in monotone without Penelope’s lust for life and quirky, deeply loving heart. Her final words haunted her now.

“But you’re not alone, ok? You are not alone. We are in that dark place with you.”

She misses harmlessly flirting with Derek, their constant one-upmanship, his slick flattery, but she misses his unending loyalty more than anything.

“I’m so proud of you. Do you understand that? I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner.”

His was the last face she saw before she closed her eyes, slowly dying on a concrete floor in Boston. He held her hand to the end.

♫ Then I’m gonna kill again / Just so I can get right back with / you, my friend (where are you)...

She misses Dave, her rock, her de facto parent where her real parents failed. Surely a grown woman whose own father was largely absent in spirit, if not in body, would get along fine without a fatherly presence to guide her, but she was so grateful for Dave’s presence in her life, for as long as she’d had it. His wise words were usually accompanied by a finger of expensive scotch or brandy. She takes comfort knowing he would absolutely approve of the drink in her hand, smooth and smokey as it was. She checks her phone, seeing JJ still hadn’t yet played her turn. It’s such a stupid game, but she’s come to rely on it for the connection to the only friend she has, imparting secret messages of love and hope in the words she chooses. Marie Poulin is a loner, prefers it that way even, but Emily Prentiss had a life full of love and friendship. Friends like Spencer Reid—

♫ I’ll leave you all the clues you need / If you get confused you can just ask / Dr Reid…

Dr Spencer Reid, the boy-genius little brother she never knew she’d needed until she nearly lost him in Atlanta. She misses their monthly foreign film nights, his impossible collection of facts he whispers to her in the near-empty theatre as they eat popcorn and snicker at her inappropriate jokes. She wonders if his headaches have gotten better, or if they’ve only grown worse with the added trauma of losing Emily Prentiss—

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss (Emily)…

Her glass stops halfway to her lips; it feels like the air’s been sucked out of the room.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss (where are you?)...

There is nothing but her and the music. Her vision blurs, her breathing is shallow and rapid.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss…

She sets her back drink down on the table, wrapping her hands tighter around the glass to mask her trembling fingers. If the glass shattered in her hand, would she even feel it?

♫ I want a full-on weekend, baby / Me and you…

He immediately comes to mind, but he’s supposed to believe she’s dead.

♫ The size of the wall / The height of the room / It takes all that I / can do with your blood

Doyle is supposed to think she’s dead.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss…

The scar on her belly twinges, she can feel the wooden stake piercing through her abdomen again, and again.

♫ I’ll sing like a canary / Oh baby / Me and you…

How did he fucking find her?

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss…

She’s been so careful. This is the first night, the very first night she’s done something for herself in months. Her mind reels, racing frantically through every person she’s encountered today, last week, last month, trying to recall a face that lingered too long, showed too much interest.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss (where are you)...

She tucks further into the corner, her face darkened by low light and shadows. She’s scanning the room for anyone out of place, but it’s an Irish pub in the 9e arrondissement in Paris, everyone’s out of place by virtue of being here. A few regulars nurse their drinks at the bar, a few couples in the dining room are quietly absorbed in their dinners. Everyone seems to be minding their own business, like they can’t even hear this fucking nightmare of a song carving tunnels in her already fragile mind.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss…

He found her, he’s taunting her.

♫ Emily, Emily Prentiss…

And she’s not dead.

*** *** ***

It takes every ounce of strength she has left not to leave the bar immediately, but she can’t draw attention to herself. She sips her drink in her shadowy corner, no longer tasting the smoky richness, and watches as the band packs up their gear. There's no merch table, no posters anywhere announcing who they are. The singer had mumbled something at the end of the set, but she couldn’t make out a name, just noting the Irish accent. She waits until they’re loading up their van from a side entrance, then slips out the front.

She hails a cab, spits out an address across the city. From there she walks three blocks to a Métro stop, taking one train and then another, and another. It’s late—or early, rather—by the time she arrives at her flat. FBI protocol takes over, and she clears each room, gun in hand, finger itching to pull the trigger, before she lets out a shaky breath, bolting the door shut and checking the locks on the windows. She’s tense, paranoid that her circuitous route from the bar wasn’t enough to evade anyone who might have been following her.

The cold ceramic of the bathroom sink grounds her as she braces her hands on either side, resting her forehead on the mirror. Her skin is slick with sweat, heart still racing even now. She runs the faucet, splashing water on her face, desperate to slow her fevered pulse. She steps back and leans against the wall, the tile cool against her skin, and thumps her fist against a chipped tile once, twice, in time to the rattle of the building’s old pipes. The tile cracks, and she pushes her fist in, pulling out an old cellphone. She turns it on, relieved to see the screen spring to life. Her hand shakes as she dials a number from memory, slipped to her once on a scrap of paper in the hospital room where she learned she was dead.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hotchner.”

“Aaron,” Emily breathes, clutching a sob at the back of throat. “He found me.”

~~~

/next>

tags: @sneetchestoo @fionaloover @laurensprentiss @mydearoriel (let me know if you'd like a tag for the next chapter!)

[stardew-mermaid]

im WEAK for my faves as parents and i know lots of y'all are too so here are

bachelors as dads vibes

(bachelorettes as moms will come soon too ❤️ under cut cause it got very long lol)

sebastian

a chill dad. when u were very little he'd let u sit in his lap while he codes and consequently u find heavy metal soothing cause he would be playing it while he works and u would always fall asleep against him

if he wasn't using his second computer u could play around on it while he works. 'existing in each other's company while u both do stuff' time becomes a regular thing even as u get older, u would do ur homework next to him at his desk and he'd help if u were confused

the first time u were deemed old enough to go for a ride on his motorcycle u were SO fucking hyped even if u had to be absolutely decked out in protective gear. sometimes while u were in high school he'd help you flex by picking you up/dropping you off on the bike

would bundle u up in his hoodies as a toddler and there's a few pics of u absolutely SWIMMING in them with the hood all the way over ur face pretending to be the grim reaper. he'd never been so proud

elliott

an eloquent dad, but still has goofy dadlike tendencies. he may be the picture of a dark academia dilf with his slacks and button ups sipping coffee in the morning over a manuscript, but he'll still make the jokes. calls u things like little one and taught u to play piano

he got u ur own little bookshelf for all ur baby books and he'd read to you every single night without fail. he'd make up stories too and u would help and make a collab tho it often got u more excited than relaxed for bed but it was worth it!!! when u were grown up u helped him compile the short stories u made up together and published it. he'd also share with u poems he wrote for you and about you over the years, lots of them to do with the wonder of watching a whole tiny person grow into a big person

would always take u on nature walks and play at the beach!!! u would find shells and rocks to give to him and he'd always look like u just handed him pure gold

u made a pact that u would sit still for him while he did ur hair if u could braid his hair in turn. u both looked very stylish

sam

cool dad!!! fun dad!!!! watches anime with u when u get into it and is forever ur player 2. if u had a skateboard or a scooter he'd always show u up by pulling off sick tricks and it became a friendly rivalry. taught u to stick it to the man at a very early age. teaches u to play guitar and took u to ur first rock concert when u were like 8

there are baby photos of u wearing sunglasses that cover half ur face and when asked about it he'd say 'u were just a rly cool baby!!!!' in some of them he's wearing matching sunglasses and carrying u in one of those front baby pouches. he'd also always sing to you as a baby and still does it idly sometimes and has written songs for u!!!!

ur #1 hypeman. praises u for everything and always makes sure u know how cool u are just for existing. he loses his mind at ur grade school talent show and at ur graduation he's there holding up his phone and crying like FUCK IT UP KENNETH!!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

tho alongside all the fun he teaches u to be very responsible and polite and above all extremely kind!!!!

shane

has the most potent typical dad energy. the socks with sandals, the jokes, the ac/dc, the funny hobby projects, the rivalry with other pta parents, all of it. calls u squirt and kiddo and the kind to ruffle ur hair. always gives u piggy back rides even as u get older, says it helps him stay in shape. when u were little you'd always bap ur baby hands against his stubble cause heehee funny scratchy face

u loved when he was in charge of dinner growing up cause it was often takeout pizza/burgers. 'hey im making a pot of kraft dinner should i double it for u' kind of guy, adds cut up hot dogs and after ur other parent voices a need for nutrition adds frozen veggies too. VERY good at cooking all kinds of eggs tho, would always feed u eggs from his own chickens and would accept nothing less!!!

teaches u a lot about chickens and some of ur fave memories with him are in the coop or chillin in a field in spring with him and the new chicks. some other faves include the regular tea parties with him and cousin jas, and even as u both get older u all sit down and have tea together sometimes and occasionally break out one of the old barbie movies for funsies

u learned how to say fuck from him when u were 3 and he died laughing. if called and told that u got into a fight at school would reply with 'did they win'

harvey

sweet, dorky doctor dad. would get SUPER worried whenever u got so much as a cold, made u stay home and rest and HYDRATE. taught u proper medical standard handwashing from when u first learned how to turn on the tap, also taught u a lot of basic first aid. when u were fussy he would read u his old textbooks from med school and it'd get you to sleep in minutes

refuses to let u leave the house without eating something first and would often get up early to make u a big breakfast before school (it's the most important meal of the day!!!!). yes it's ok if ur late ur english teacher can wait until you've had ur veggies. when u were a baby his standard of keeping u fed was 'if i had to change less than five diapers a day it wasn't enough'. encourages taking a snack and water everywhere

as u got older u realized how hardworking he is so u make sure he knows how much u love and appreciate him, goes all out for his bday and father's day like how he goes all out for u every day and it makes him cry. he cries at ur first birthday and ur graduation too, cried when u got him a #1 DAD mug specifically for his morning coffee, he just cries a lot and it's very endearing, dad taught u it's okay to be emotional. u also gift him funky socks to wear at work and he goes bananas for them

he taught u how to assemble model planes and u would sit with him while he tuned his old radio, u liked the bwee bwee sounds. he would play jazz and swing and dance with u standing on his feet. when u were little u liked to play with his moustache and occasionally he would fall asleep while watching u but the most u ever did was add a goatee to the stache with washable marker which he thought was pretty funny

alex

strong dad!!! jock dad!!!!! would flex and let u hang off his bicep, play wrestle (u would always win), sit u on his shoulders and run around making airplane noises, play sportsball in the yard and would come up with fun challenges for u if u got bored of catch. pretty much the master of keeping ur baby self entertained and was always there to tuck u in for a nap when u got tired out

makes an extra protein shake for u every morning and loads of scrambled eggs, will also sneak u a cookie tho

he's always super encouraging and positive and enthusiastic about everything u do which u pick up fast. u go to his games and even if sports turns out not to be ur thing the fact that ur there rooting for him makes him put in 1000% effort, calls u his good luck charm!!!! he will also throw u over his shoulders and use u for weightlifting while u shout encouragement directly into his ear. this continues until ur grown up (and sometimes even then so he can flex even as an 'old man')

gets really really worried about you whenever ur sick or get hurt and will lose sleep over it but stays upbeat for ur sake. he will cuddle u tho. sometimes you'll ask for stories about ur grandma and he'll tell u and it's so nice to him to talk about his mother and smile instead of being sad, you help him heal because it's so wonderful to think of her as a grandmother and how proud she'd be. he plays her music box for u to help u sleep when ur little and it still makes u feel sleepy and safe when ur older

[0risha]

ʚ @brushwood-souls requested ; hie!! for ur 500 followers request thingy!! 505 by arctic monkeys with gojo! (gender neutral reader ^^) thank ue and congrats!

ʚ pairing ; gojo x gn!reader

ʚ content/warning ; fluff, angst, it might be a little confusing if you haven't read about Gojo's past arc??

ʚ find xetou's here!

It’s eerie. The silence that is. Spots of darkness and color swim in vision when your eyes flutter shut. You expect to hear a shuffle or a familiar voice from the room next to yours— like always, but it never comes. 

In distress, you breathe out a puff of air and turn on your side, your covers rippling as you move. This should be a good thing— right?

For once Gojo wasn’t running his mouth to some random fling on the phone. With being his dorm neighbor, you always wondered how he juggled his never-ending love life with the addition of being the strongest shaman. But it’d remain a mystery, just like the rest of him.

You didn’t consider yourself close with Gojo, if anything you barely knew him. You had your own set of moments with him, sure. Like that one time, he had saved you from being a curse’s next meal, though before you could thank him he called you a nuisance. 

The funniest thing about it all was that you had saved him before, but you blamed it on Gojo just not being on his best game. It did add a slight pump to your ego, but you didn’t think it would add to his if you bragged about 'saving the strongest shaman.' 

Even if it already seemed like he hated you.

When you decide that Gojo's silence is for the best, you close your eyes once again and lull your muscles to rest. Your efforts are proven to be successful as sleep starts to encase your senses.

That is until you hear a crash, it's barely audible when the sound meets your ear but you perk up, nonetheless. Then comes another and another, each louder than the one before. Begrudgingly, you roll over and hop out of the comfort of your bed. Your feet pad against the cool tiles when you reach your room door, you don't bother to put on shoes, his room was only two steps away from yours.

Hesitantly you knock at his door, it's a soft rap but you think he hears because the crashing comes to a stop.

"Gojo?" The silence is deafening but a random croak intercepts it.

"Gojo?" You can hear him shuffle about. With that, a stone of realization sits in your gut, he was ignoring you.

"I just wanted to make sure if you were ok—" Your voice catches in your throat when the door is cracked open. You wait for a second to pass to make sure that you were actually welcomed.

When the door doesn't close, you walk into Gojo's room. His room is Gojo-like. Messy in some areas, neat in others. Your chest deflates once you see how big his bed is. Not fair. Your brow furrows once you see multiple items strewn haphazardly around the room— probably the source of all those noises, you decide.

Your gaze sweeps across his room once more, the curtains are closed tight and his lit-up phone sits on a nightstand. Gojo getting a call so late at night…was to be expected.

The room was barely lit and even smelled like him but there was no Gojo in sight.

“Gojo?”

A sniffle permeates the room.

“Where are you?” The sound of your footsteps is silenced by the blue carpet as you move closer to where you think you heard the noise.

When you see a ray of light, you shuffle towards it. With shallow breaths, you place your hand on what you believed to be the bathroom's door knob. 

When you do open the door, your eyes go wide when arctic eyes meet yours. 

This was truly not what you expected. Words of surprise bubble within the expanse of your throat but you push it down. Not for your sake but for his.

“Oh–” You gnaw at your bottom lip. “I– I– can come back.” You internally wince at your own words when your eyes again flit across his face. The strongest shaman or... the man across from you sat with wet-streaked cheeks. 

Unsure of what to do and after a few seconds of internal debate, you slowly squat down to his eye level. If he noticed your actions, he doesn’t show it. His eyes are still downcast as now muted sobs escape from the confines of his lips.

“G–gojo, do you need any–” You stop once his head falls on your shoulder. Your breath hitches as his bubble of warmth intertwines with your own. 

With wide eyes, your hands hesitantly come around to rest on his clothed back. You still for a moment, hands unmoving as you contemplate every second that’s transpired. 

Maybe he’d mistaken you for someone else— Ieiri? Ieiri had known him ever since his high school days, it would make a sliver of sense.

But as you mull over their love and hate relationship you rule it out of your book of contemplation. You flirt with the idea of having a connection strong enough for Gojo to fall into such a vulnerable state around you but... it didn’t seem likely. 

You pull yourself out of your thoughts to side-eye the man on your shoulder. His white hair clouds most of your vision but you can see the way his shoulders sag, almost... defeatedly. Slowly, you rub his back in soothing circles and try to match his breathing. 

Gojo simply had two worlds on his shoulders, his own and the one against him. Each weighing absurd amounts of weight, both set to point to him as their savior. It made sense, it really did.  

But with this realization, came another. A certain conversation with Ieiri. 

It’d been your first day and Shoko had personally came to talk to you. Almost instantly, you put her on a pedestal of interest.

You couldn’t help it, she was a healer, she was pretty and she smoked cigarettes. But to your dismay, her topic of conversation had been about Gojo Satoru.

You’d heard about his personality. Immature, childish, and cynical. Yet, she talked about him in high regard, which in some way contrasted with prior actions you’d seen. But there was one piece of information that you’d locked away in a forgotten chamber of mind. 

Gojo seemed to always shrink in himself when the weather grew warmer, the result of the anniversary of a certain memory. The memory, you didn’t know, Ieiri skated around the question whenever you asked.  You remember her staring at you intently, eyes sparkling with a flash of grief as she exhaled a pull of smoke from the encasement of her lungs. 

“He always gets weird when that time comes… just comfort him for me, yeah?” Dumbly, you had nodded, not exactly sure what she’d been conveying. 

But it’d been so long ago and with no signs of you and Gojo creating a bond anytime soon, you’d forgotten all about it. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper. When his movements still, you curse internally, figuring that you’d made the wrong choice of words. But when his body curls more into your side, you breathe out a sigh in relief and repeat your prior words. 

“It’s okay.” And you say it over and over until his body slumps over with exhaustion. He doesn’t snore, is your first thought but your second thought is pride. 

Not in an arrogance but in fulfillment. 

Just a simple pull of pride for being able to soothe the strongest man in the world. 

— if your name is in bold I could not tag you :(

tagging ; @uniquabackyardigans @crapimahuman @dukinaxael @princess-in-flowers @astraea-essie @italyhrry

— to join my taglist go here!

[everlarkficexchange]

That’s Just Tachy

Written by: @everybirdfellsilent

Prompt 153: Best friends!Everlark who have always been in love with one another. Katniss is in a pretty serious accident, of course Peeta visits her every single day. He notices that every time he enters the room her heart monitor beeps due to elevated heart rate. He notices and finally mentions to a mutual friend (Madge? Finnick?) how it’s sweet that she gets excited to see her friends, said friend rolls eyes and is like uh yeah ok “friend��. Peeta’s all what? Cue suspicion so next time he visits her he takes it a step further and gives little touches (brushes her hair back, strokes her cheek, grazes her arm? LET IT BURN) to see what happens. Sure enough her HR skyrockets. Tell us all the sweet and suspenseful details :))) [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone] (@peetamewllark)

I do not own The Hunger Games or it’s characters. All credit where credit is due.

Thank you to @xteenwolfwritingsx, @smartalexy, and @papofglencoe for looking this over for me!

Warnings: Some language. (I think?) Mostly just fluff, though. (Rated K-Teen.)

Word count: 6,712

A/N: This didn’t turn out quite how I wanted, but it is what it is. 😆 It was a 2k document I sat down to flush out and suddenly it was over 6k words, so I figured it was time. I like to write where you just jump right in kind of like a TV show, but that didn’t really work for this prompt, and was a sort of learning curve for me. But I still hope you all like it! This was fun to write, and I have loved this prompt from the beginning. (Especially the “LET IT BURN”. Haha! So here are my two lovesick idiots who don’t know it until it’s right in front of their face. I have missed writing for them.)

Xxx

“You guys coming?” Jo called from up at the front of the group as they made their way across the quad. 

Glancing back over her shoulder, Johanna stopped, effectively stopping Gale and Finnick as well, and they all stared at the two stragglers of the group who were locked in some kind of glare off. 

“I don’t trust him,” Katniss stated, her eyes never wavering from his. 

“Me?!” Peeta cried in disbelief. “You’re the one with impeccable aim and on the archery team, why in the world am I the bigger threat here?”

“Because you started it.”

Gale huffed. “Started what?”

“Poking me in the sides at the most inopportune moments all day.”

Gale sighed heavily. “Catnip….”

Her head snapped his way, the glare now on him, she missed the two thumbs up Peeta sent Gale from behind her in thanks. “You know I hate that nickna-”

The rest of her sentence stopped abruptly as she felt two strong and familiar hands start to play her sides like a piano, and it was a wonder she avoided letting out a screech. Batting the hands away with her own, using the thin folder in her hand to swat at them as they tried to come near again, she couldn’t help the smile that crawled across her face, muttering nonsense at the lighthearted taunts Peeta sent her way. 

Finnick rolled his eyes, smiling almost imperceptibly. “Come on, let the lovebirds be.”

As the three up ahead continued on, Peeta and Katniss called a truce, both breathing heavily, an errant chuckle here and there the only noise as they caught their breath. 

“So are you meeting up with Haymitch before work today?” Peeta asked, staring at the ground as they began to follow their friends. 

“Yup,” Katniss nodded, looking at the ground herself, but glancing over at Peeta every now and then. Each time made her heart race just a little bit more, and she wasn’t quite sure how that made her feel. “I need to talk to him about enrolling in one more course, or how to get some extra hours somehow.”

“Well, we’ll meet up when you’re off work later, then, and you can tell me how it went.” He looked up and right at her. “And, you know, if Haymitch doesn’t have any ideas, I can always try and talk to our professors and see where that gets us.” His voice was smooth and deep, and he playfully bumped shoulders with her as they continued to walk. 

She couldn’t help but blush at the implication, knowing Peeta could sell anything to anyone with the way he spoke. “I’ll think about it,” she managed to get out. “But I have to work late tonight, so I’ll just text you when I get off, and we’ll go from there. Sound good?”

“Sure,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets, and she couldn’t help but sigh in relief knowing he wouldn’t be poking her for the foreseeable future, making him smirk. “How late?”

“I’m not sure exactly. They just said some may need to stay late.” She shrugged, clutching her folder close to her chest. “But not too late, I don’t think. Definitely before midnight.”

“I’ll see you at midnight, then.”

Xxx

She’d been in an accident. An awful, terrible accident. 

There were more details, he was sure, but his mind tuned out of any further conversation past that. Images flashed in his mind, everything from horrendous to benign, of the condition she was in, or would be in. Did she need surgery? Did she need a kidney? A really big bandaid?

All he knew was that he’d be there for her. They all would. Because that’s what friends do. They protect each other, it’s just what they do.

Xxx

They went in as a group, right before visiting hours were over that same day. 

He didn’t know what exactly he was expecting, but he still had a breath catch in his chest at the sight of her. 

Gale and Johanna were teary eyed as they walked around to the opposite side of the bed, Gale gently taking Katniss’ hand in his where it lay beside her on the bed, and Jo hanging back behind him, almost as if to have a barrier between her and the situation. 

Finnick stood beside Peeta on the opposite side, up by her head, and rested his hand beside her head, supporting his weight. Normally one for a playful nudge or flirtatious tuck of hair behind one’s ear, his lack of physical touch and in fact distance between his hand and her spoke volumes. “Hey, Katniss,” he said softly. The hitch in his voice not missed by anyone in the room, or the shuddering breath he took in after. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and while still somewhat glassy from the pain medicine pumping through her system, she let out a tentative smile, and gently squeezed Gale’s hand back. “Hey,” voice scratchy from lack of use. “What-” she coughed a rattling cough, making everybody in the room cringe. “What happened?”

“You were in an accident,” Finnick’s voice came out much stronger than before, relief painting his tone. “No one else was hurt, they think you just fell asleep at the wheel coming home from work.”

Her pulse kicked up just slightly at the info, but her typical poker face was in full swing. 

“Don’t worry, your job is giving you paid leave until you are totally recovered. You shouldn’t have been working that late, anyway.”

Her eyes flicked over to Peeta as he spoke, her heart monitor seeming to glitch as it registered a missed beat. 

“They just don’t want a lawsuit,” Johanna muttered, causing Katniss to laugh, which turned into a major coughing fit. 

A nurse poked her head in, pushing some buttons on machines that started to let off incessant beeping, and letting them know visiting hours were over. 

They all filed from the room, including the nurse, but Peeta stayed behind. Reaching out to take her hand in his left, he gave it a squeeze, and smiled. “I’ll be back by tomorrow. We’ll go over the assignments coming up.” 

Her heart monitor started an intermittent beeping again, a light flashing at the top. “Shhhhhh, it’s okay.” He reached up to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, and the monitor started going crazy, the nurse coming in, lightly scolding him and ushering him from the room. Turning off all the beeping, the only sound was Katniss’ shallow breathing and rapid heart rate. 

One last squeeze to her hand, and he was out the door. He faintly heard the nurse say, “Calm down, honey, your boyfriend can come back by tomorrow.”

Then the monitors started going off again. 

Xxx

True to his word, the next day Peeta showed up as soon as his last class was over, giving him just a few hours with her, as opposed to every other day when his schedule allowed most of the afternoon, if she’d let him stay. 

He smiled at the thought. She did love her time alone. But however long she’d let him stay, he would.

Rounding the corner into her room, he saw Haymitch on the other side of the bed with his hand on her shoulder, grinning down at her, and Katniss sitting more upright than the night before scowling up at him.

Following Haymitch’s glance up, she met Peeta’s eyes, and almost instantly startled away to look at the floor when her heart monitor started beeping like the night before. 

Looking at it with knit eyebrows and a slight smirk, he made his way into the room. “So you got defective machines, huh?”

Pushing a button on the rail of the bed to make the head go up slightly, she sat a little further up, muttering, “Something like that….”

Haymitch snickered, quickly coughing to cover it up, moving to the recliner in the corner of the room, observing them over the top of a magazine he grabbed from atop a nearby table. 

At some point during the exchange, a nurse must have come in and turned off the alert, though Peeta still noticed the rapid beeping of her pulse. 

Holding up the assignments, giving them a little jiggle and raising an eyebrow in question, Peeta set them down on the little rolling table over her on the bed when she gave him a little nod.

Reaching out to touch a few pages absently, she finally muttered in a scratchy voice, “You came back.”

It took a moment before Peeta realized she was talking to him, but he quickly shook his head and said, “I said I would.”

They stared at each other for a moment before the monitor started beeping again, Katniss sighing and reaching out to push a button and silence it. Looking back to Peeta, she held his gaze before darting it all over the room, looking anywhere but him. “They said I could do that.”

Haymitch snorted from behind the magazine, earning daggers of a glare from her. 

“Thanks for coming by, Haymitch. You really didn’t need to.” Her tone was sincere in her thanks, but also very clear in her sarcasm. 

“Nonsense, sweetheart!” He lowered the magazine to his lap, which made a slapping sound against his thighs. Feet propped up on the footrest of the recliner, legs crossed at the ankles, he just smiled. “I’m your advisor, and I’m here to advise in any way I can.” He glanced at Peeta. “On whoever I can.”

He snickered, blocking the tissue box she threw at him with his arm, before pulling the magazine back up to read. 

Chuckling softly, Peeta pulled up a nearby chair to sit next to Katniss. “Luckily, we have all the same classes, except for one, which Finnick will bring by. He gets off before me, so he said he would swing by on his way home.”

Katniss just nodded, staring at the pile of papers on the little table. 

The nurse came in with a little cup of pills. “Time for your medicine!” She glanced at Peeta and smiled. “See? I told you your boyfriend could come back!”

Katniss started choking on the water she had used to take the pills, spluttering as Haymitch guffawed in the corner. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she choked out, taking another quick sip as the nurse pushed the button to silence the alert to her elevated pulse yet again, not even sparing it a glance, taking the empty cup when Katniss was done with a smirk. 

The nurse looked at Peeta with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup, just friends,” he clarified, and wasn’t really sure if he liked the way that made him feel.

“She just really loves her friends. Close knit. Tight bond,” Haymitch said emphatically to the nurse. 

She smiled at him. “I see.”

Xxx

The next day Peeta sat next to Finnick in one of their shared classes, in the back row of the stadium like seating. Finnick leaned back in his chair, hands knit behind his head like he was laying out in the sun lounging on a pool float somewhere.

After a few moments Finnick turned his head just slightly toward Peeta on his right, his eyes still on the ceiling. “So what you’re telling me, is her pulse was elevated the whole time you were there?”

“Yeah,” Peeta said, tossing his hands up a little in exasperation and letting them lightly slap back down on to the desktop. “I was concerned at first, but then,” he smiled, looking down to the desktop for a moment, playing with his pencil, then looking forward again. “Then I realized it was whenever we talked, specifically, not Haymitch or the nurse, and I put it together. She’s just really glad to see her friends, I think. I mean, I don’t blame her, that place is all greys and whites and blah.”

When Finnick didn’t respond, Peeta looked to his left to find Finnick still splayed back, but looking right at him. “Just ‘blah’?” He stared blankly at Peeta. “You think she’s happy - so happy it sets off alarms - that her friends are bringing a dash of color into her world?”

“….Yeah?” Peeta was hesitant to answer, shrugging his shoulders as he responded. 

Rolling his eyes, Finnick rolled his head back toward the ceiling with the movement, scoffing and letting out a small chuckle. “Uh, yeah. Okay, ‘friend’.”

“What-” Peeta huffed, looking for the right words, “What are you- What do you even mean, Finnick?”

Finnick shrugged with a smirk, everyone quieting down when the teacher walked in. Looking to his friends one more time, Finnick spoke in a hushed tone as the teacher began the lecture. “You’re a great friend, Peeta.”

They both looked forward toward the lecture happening in front of them, but Peeta wasn’t absorbing anything, his mind going a million miles a minute trying to figure out what Finnick meant. 

He had his suspicions, but, no…. Surely not. Finnick was crazy.

Xxx

He had waited until the end of the visit to test Finnick’s theory. 

As he went over the notes he had taken, reading them aloud to Katniss while she sat with the bed a little straighter up than the day before, her head back and eyes closed while she listened, he kept looking at her. Wondered what was going on in her head. Silently daring her to open her eyes and meet his. 

Shaking his head as Finnick’s voice echoed in his head, he went back to staring at the paper as he read, not even looking up.

The medicine she was on for pain made everything blurry, so he had volunteered to read to her. But as he went on, he found himself unconsciously speaking to the rhythm of her heart monitor, her pulse holding steady for the time being. And he couldn’t help the little grin that came across his face.

“And that’s it,” he said, closing his notebook and looking up to see Katniss blinking her eyes open, letting them readjust to the hospital room’s bright lights. 

“Thank you,” she said softly, her voice a little stronger than the day before. 

Reaching out like the day she came in here, he gently took her hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze. “Don’t mention it.”

He glanced to the monitor that registered what looked to be a missed beat or two, but her pulse stayed fairly even, going slightly higher, but not enough to set off any alarm bells - on the machine or in his head.

The nurse came by and poked her head in the door, announcing that visiting hours were almost over, then came all the way in to the other side of the bed. 

Katniss looked at the needle in her hand with disgust. “I hate this medicine,” she said offhandedly. “It is supposed to help me sleep, but it just gives me nightmares.” Looking at Peeta as the nurse injected the medicine into her IV, her pulse started to quicken. 

Absentmindedly packing up his stuff, Peeta looked to the monitor when it finally started beeping and flashing. Swinging his backpack onto his shoulder, he noticed a particularly high spike, setting off new alarms he hadn’t heard before, and he looked to Katniss worriedly. 

As the nurse came around the foot of the bed to turn off the machines, fiddling with them after the blaring stopped, Katniss spoke quietly, “Peeta. Stay with me?”

It was a question, not a statement or demand, and he so wanted to give in and ease her mind as she fell asleep, but visiting hours were over. 

Katniss looked like she was starting to drift off to sleep, reaching for him blindly with the hand he had held moments before. 

The nurse looked between them, smiled and winked at Peeta as she made her way out of the room. “I’ll come check on her in a few hours. You know, she is allowed one person to stay with her.”

Setting his backpack on the ground, Peeta went to the hand still outstretched for him, and held it tight. 

“Peeta?” Her voice was small and barely awake.

“Yeah. I’m here. Go back to sleep.” He went to go over to the recliner in the corner, but her hand clutched his with a strength he didn’t think had returned to her yet, keeping him beside her. 

“Stay with me.”

This time it wasn’t a question but a statement, a demand, and it made him smile. Glancing to the monitor again, he saw her heart rate settle back down as the chair he had moved over earlier scraped against the floor as he pulled it closer to her bedside, still clutching her hand tightly in his own.

“Always,” he said matter of factly, as if any other answer were wrong. 

Resting his chin on his hand, giving hers one last squeeze, he stared at her and smiled softly. He found himself yawning and drifting off to sleep soon, preparing for the nightmares, and dreading the moment he would finally have to let go.

Xxx

Peeta woke to sunlight hitting his eyes, blinking them open only to squint and lift up his left arm to block the rays slipping through the blinds. Looking toward Katniss, he saw her staring at him, already wide awake, and she even smiled a little bit. 

“Good morning,” she said, her voice leaps and bounds better than previous days. 

“Morning,” Peeta mumbled, sitting up from where his head still rested on his hand, groaning at his stiff back stretching for the first time in hours, and swiping at his face, hoping he hadn’t drooled in his sleep. His hand froze over his eye as he blearily gave it a rub when he heard a giggle.

Eyes snapping to Katniss, he saw her smiling broadly and uninhibited. “You really aren’t a morning person, are you?” she asked.

Yawning, Peeta spoke through the stretch. “You’re really a morning person, aren’t you?”

She threw her head back and laughed the first real laugh he had heard in days. Leaving her head back against the bed she sighed. “No,” she said honestly, and they both chuckled. “No, I’m really not, but that was the first night of sleep I have had since being here, and I guess I needed it, so thank you.”

Reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, Peeta let his hand linger, and heard the monitor spike, making him smile. “I can tell. Your hair is crazy.” 

She scowled at him but it melted into a chuckle and pink cheeks.

Letting his hand fall slightly, down to her cheeks, he traced the back of his finger over her blush. “You’re getting your color back. That’s good.”

She reached up to grab his wrist gently, groaning what sounded an embarrassed reply. 

“Hang on,” he mumbled, and she lightly held on to his wrist as he moved down to trace her lips with his thumb.

Her breath hitched and the monitor beeped faster again. 

Grinning impishly, he swiped his thumb on the side of her mouth as if wiping something off, and said softly, “You drool.”

She shoved his hand away, once again trying to scowl but ended up snickering along with him as he jokingly wiped his hand on his jeans, making a ridiculous face before chuckling himself.

Xxx

Since it was a Saturday, Peeta took his time, lingering at her bedside, and lounging in the chair he had slept in, despite Katniss telling him repeatedly to go sit in the recliner in the corner, so he would be more comfortable. 

Instead of comfort, he took the chance to sit by her and steal a glance every now and then, since he no longer got to do it in class. He always felt a sense of calm when looking at her, much like last night, when Katniss’ heart rate had calmed down when he agreed to stay. Something just felt right. 

They brought her a breakfast tray, if it could even be called that. Peeta stared at the tray just like it that sat in his lap, thanking the nurse who had given it to him with a wink and a smirk, and trying to decide what exactly was on the tray that they were trying to pass off as “food”. 

Standing up after the nurse left, he walked his tray over to the nearby counter, turning to see Katniss glaring at him. 

“If I have to eat this, you have to eat this,” she hissed, gesturing to the food then him with her fork. 

Peeta gulped. “How about we share?”

Katniss narrowed her eyes at him briefly, before mumbling a “fine”, looking back to the food and picking at the imposter waffles. 

The TV was playing softly in the background, the only other noise aside from Katniss’ incessant fidgeting. 

“Are you okay?” Peeta asked after what felt like the millionth time, and tried to swallow the “waffles” that didn’t seem to want to be eaten as much as he didn’t want to eat them.

Katniss grimaced. “Yeah, it’s just,” she fidgeted again. “This is the most uncomfortable bed, and I can’t find a way to help it anymore. They changed my medication to something a little less potent, so now I’m feeling all the aches and pains and itches and everything glorious.”

Peeta chuckled. “Well, how about we get up and walk around the hallways a little bit, and after that I can give you a little massage?” He had to bite his cheek to keep from smiling at her wide eyes. He didn’t need a machine to know her pulse was elevated, her cheeks gave that away as they tinged pink. Ever since Finnick had made his “observation” the day before, he’d found himself being much bolder than he had ever been before. “I mean, it can’t be too much different than kneading bread….”

Katniss simultaneously choked and chuckled at the same time. “The medicine I’m due for in a few minutes makes me really dizzy, and I’d have to use the walker, and-”

“And I’ll help you,” Peeta interrupted, earning him a scowl. “I’ll walk right beside you in case you need help, and catch you if you start to fall.”

“And if I can’t walk the whole time you’ll go find me a wheelchair at the nurses station, right?” Katniss rolled her eyes with a little scoff, but her cheeks still bloomed in a bright blush. 

“No, I’ll just carry you if it comes to that.”

“Oh.” Was all Katniss could muster, a short decisive nod in confirmation as she sat the bed up all the way, lowering her propped up feet and pushing away the tray of “food”. “Could I- I mean, Can you-” she stuttered out, timidly reaching her hand out in a request for help up.

Peeta scrambled to his feet, immediately offering his hand to help her sit totally upright, easing her legs over the side of the bed and lowered the rail on the side to help her even more. 

She turned toward the edge of the bed, her feet dangling off the edge in the yellow socks with grippy bottoms they kept replacing every day, and flitted her eyes over to the walker in the corner, Peeta following her gaze and immediately reaching over with his long reach to grab it, placing it in front of her. 

“Can I have my robe, please?” she asked in a small voice, pointing to where it hung on the bathroom door. “These hospital gowns are drafty in all the wrong places.” She pulled a hand down her face, sighing at the words that kept coming out of her mouth. “Sorry, too much information.”

Peeta smiled as he handed her the robe. “No, I get it. I’ve been in here once or twice, remember?”

She smiled sadly. “Yeah, I remember.”

As Peeta helped her into the robe, he also smiled sadly. Staring at the floor, memories he’d rather forget started flashing through his mind. He must have spaced out, or maybe he clutched her shoulders just a little too tightly, but the next thing he really registered was Katniss holding his face in her hands, searching his face frantically. 

“Stay with me,” she echoed her words from last night, once again not a question, but a matter of fact. 

Locking his eyes on hers, he found the fog clearing. Swallowing thickly, he nodded, letting his gaze dart around the room. “Thanks,” he finally muttered, smiling sadly one last time before he cleared his throat and smiled a bit more genuinely. “Now quit procrastinating.” 

Xxx

They made it a few laps around the floor before Katniss was too tired to make one more round. When they passed back by her room, they went in and saw that the food trays had been removed, thankfully, and the bed linens changed. At the foot of the bed sat a new hospital gown, bright yellow and folded neatly, on top of it a matching set of those same yellow socks. 

“Feel up to changing?” Peeta asked her as he helped slip off her robe, carrying it back to the hook on the bathroom door. 

“I guess,” Katniss sighed, her breathing labored. “Makes the most sense to do it before getting back in bed.” 

“Let me know if you need any help,” he said, holding the bathroom door open as she shuffled by, the gown and socks clutched tightly to her chest with one hand, the other holding the back of the hospital gown together as best she could. 

Closing the door all but a sliver, Peeta stood right outside in case she needed help, absently staring at the TV. His mind was far away, though, thinking about all the times he had been the one in here, and she had visited and helped him. He didn’t dwell on the reason he was there, but the fact she had come to help. 

“Peeta?” Her small voice echoing around the small bathroom caught his attention. 

“Yeah?” He cleared his throat.

“I need some help tying this gown.”

Now it was his turn to have his cheeks go pink. Nothing is more awkward than a hospital gown. The door slowly swung open, and her back was revealed to him, her hands clutching the back tightly around her hips, but her back was on full display, making him swallow thickly. 

It was moments like these that he found himself getting lost in an emotion he only ever felt around her, but he never fully understood. If he had to describe it, it was how he pictured love feeling.

Slowly walking into the little room, he stepped up behind her, closer than needed, and noticed she was shaking as he reached for the little ties. 

“Are you cold?”

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered out, looking at the floor. 

Slowly tying a double knotted bow so it wouldn’t slip open on accident, Peeta accidentally brushed his fingertips on the soft exposed skin of her back, and she instantly stilled. “Is that too tight?” he asked softly. 

“N-no. But can you tie the top one a little looser? I think when I sit down it might be just a little too tight.”

He nodded, reaching up to tie the top strings in just one bow in case she wanted to adjust it, and his skin brushed her clavicle, making her shiver once again. 

Leaning in toward her ear, he spoke in a low voice, “Can you please hold your hair up? I don’t want to get it caught in the strings.” 

The shivering turned into a violent shudder before she nodded, lifting her hair up with her free hand not clutching the lower part of the gown closed, and took deep, steadying breaths.

“Thank you,” she breathed, letting go of her hair as he set his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back flush with his front gently, and placing his chin gently on one shoulder, his cheek right by her ear.

“Don’t mention it,” he said in a quiet tone much like her own. With their bodies so close, he could feel her rapid heartbeat against his own, and they both were above average.

“I’ll let you take care of the lower ties.” He took a few steps back before turning to go back to the room. Her voice so close behind him startled him. 

“I think I will leave those open. I’ll be under the covers anyway, and it makes it a little easier to move and sit in that bed. But I could use your help switching out these socks…. If you don’t mind.” She smiled timidly. “Bending over is still really hard.”

Nodding, he gestured her to the bed and helped her sit on the edge. Pulling off the old pair and putting on the new, he heard her hooking the various little monitors back up as she settled back in. Looking up he saw her plug the pulse monitor back in and immediately the machine started blaring like it had before. Looking up at her with wide eyes, they both glanced at the monitor as the nurse came in and turned it off. 

“Why does that keep happening?” Peeta questioned her. “Isn’t that something bad?”

The nurse smiled kindly at him. “That? Oh, that’s just tachycardia. Elevated heart rate. The machine has certain parameters set for ‘normal’ and sometimes exertion or excitement can make your pulse shoot up to what the parameters deem ‘too high’. It’s completely safe.” 

She leaned into Peeta. “But between you and me, I think it’s just you in general that keeps making hers go off. You have some effect on her, no one else who visits has it going off this much. Someone named Finnick had it going, but she was laughing really hard. Haymitch seems to put her in a bad mood - or annoyed - and that sets it off sometimes. But you, you make it go off the most. I’d be very unhappy about that if she wasn’t looking so much better having you here.” The machine went off again, and the nurse glanced at a mortified looking Katniss before smiling knowingly at Peeta. “Just push this button if it happens again.” Reaching out she silenced the machine once again, winking at Katniss, before promptly leaving the room. 

Katniss and Peeta just stared at one another for a long moment before he clapped his hands together and said, “Now how about that massage?”

He reached out and shut off the machine before it let out too many alerts.

Xxx

If he had thought it through, tying the gown before the massage wasn’t the brightest idea, but he was so glad he had because it was one more excuse to be so close to her. He was surprised she wasn’t swatting him away with how ticklish she tended to be. 

The head of the bed was lowered enough for him to squeeze in behind her, and they finally settled on her sitting between his legs as she hugged a pillow to her front as she slightly bent forward, and laid her head on a pillow on the little rolling table they had locked to sit in front of her. Her head was turned to her right so he could see her profile, and her typical braid going over her shoulder had been done so he could have easier access to her shoulders and neck. 

He wanted to take a moment to just admire her, but he understood the horribleness of a hospital bed, and went to working on her shoulders immediately. Working from the bottom of her shoulder blades up to the top of her neck, he tried to be gentle not entirely sure what might still hurt from the accident, but dug in to the knots he found, earning appreciative groans from her. 

He worked down to her lower back, right above her hips was as much as he could get to, and he made a mental note to ask the nurse for a heating pad next time she came in. Even his baker trained hands couldn’t work that tension out without some help.

“Is the pressure okay?” He kept asking, to which she answered a groggy sounding yes every time. Finally instead of an answer he got a snore in response. Glancing to her face he saw her peacefully asleep, not even a flinch as he found yet another knot near her shoulder blade. He worked on it gently for a few minutes, not seeing her flinch once, but finally decided that was enough for now. 

Someone cleared their throat to his left, and he snapped his head to see Finnick leaning in the doorway, ankles crossed, arms crossed over his chest, and a smirk across his face that was absolutely beaming. 

“Friends,” he said quietly, but with emphasis, snickering, before hanging his head and gently shaking it.

Double knotting the one tie and loosely tying the top one again, Peeta slowly eased out of the bed, taking the pillow Katniss was hugging and adding it to the one that had been behind his back, slowly lowering her back until she was laying on the slight incline of the bed, her snoring not wavering once. He took the pillow her head had been on on the tray and gave it to her to hug like the other one, and she clutched it tight, snuggling into the blankets he pulled back up over her.

Walking past Finnick, Peeta gave him a dirty look before continuing out into the hall, pulling him along by the elbow when Finnick didn’t follow, closing the door all but a crack so he would hear if she woke up or the machines went off. 

Finnick was just smirking.

“Why did you have to say anything the other day?” Peeta hissed. “Everything was fine until then, and now I can’t think about anything else.”

“Could you before? Really?” Finnick prodded. “I mean, sure, you didn’t sit an analyze her heart rate, but can you honestly tell me you didn’t think about her, look at her and get that feeling you can’t really describe but understand, and just know this person is supposed to be in your life?” It was quiet for a minute before Finnick spoke in a softer voice. “I get it, man.” He put a hand on Peeta’s shoulder, despite Peeta’s arms still being firmly crossed. “It’s the same feeling I get-”

“Let me guess, it’s the same feeling you get when you see me?” Peeta’s sarcasm was off the charts. 

Finnick threw his head back and laughed. “Well, yeah, but in a different way. No, man, it’s how I feel when I see Annie.” Peeta’s face softened at the mention of Finnick’s fiancé. “And no matter how long we have been together, that feeling doesn’t change. It gets more comfortable, yeah, but it’s the same feeling, same emotion.” He smiled a goofy smile and looked off in the distance over Peeta’s shoulder. “It’s like…. You look at them and….” He met Peeta’s gaze again, “you know you’re home.”

Peeta had to glance over his shoulder to see if Annie was actually there, because the way Finnick had stared down that hallway, Peeta was almost certain she had to be there. 

Letting his arms drop as he sighed, his shoulders hunching, Peeta rested his forehead on Finnick’s chest and groaned softly. 

Snickering, Finnick pushed him to arms length, hands on his shoulders, and gently shook him until he met his eyes again. “You’re here. You’re safe. This is real.” He sighed. “It’s a really messed up situation, but it’s where you are.” He grinned impishly. “Now go get her and tell her you love her, you idiot, before I do.”

Gently shoving Peeta back toward the room, all thought of flipping Finnick the bird faded from his mind when he heard Katniss sleeping fitfully, moaning softly in what sounded like pain or distress, and her monitor registering a higher and higher pulse rate. 

The nurses words about what causes the elevation came back to him, and Peeta was in the room and beside her faster than Finnick could say “go”. 

The door shut softly behind him, but it was enough to make Katniss sit upright in bed, wide eyed, immediately grimacing and groaning as she grabbed her midsection.

Peeta put a hand on her shoulder, and she immediately flinched, but looking up and seeing his face, relief washed over her features, and her pulse began to calm down. “You’re okay,” he reassured softly. 

“Thank you,” she all but whispered. “I am now that you’re here.”

They looked at one another and shared a soft smile, their eye contact never wavering. 

“Scoot over,” Peeta said simply, jutting his chin forward as if to motion to her which way to go.

“What? Why?” Katniss asked, but did as he asked. 

Slipping his shoes off, Peeta took the pillow she had been hugging away form her, ignoring her lighthearted protests, and stuck it a bit further up than her pillows, and climbed in the bed in the spot she had made for him. Pulling the sheets up over them, he laid his head on the pillow slightly further up, and gently pulled her so that she was resting on his chest, hugging him like she had clutched the pillow. 

“You slept better leaning forward when I was giving you the massage, I figured this might help-”

They heard a snort from the doorway and both looked to see Finnick in the exact position he had been in only minutes earlier. “You two idiots are going to be the death of me,” he muttered softly with a smirk, hanging his head once again with a gentle shake.

Looking back to one another, Peeta began again after a moment of silence, “Really, it was just an instinct, I’m sorry if I- I can get out of you want-”

He was cut off by Katniss firmly planting a kiss on his lips. Pulling away just enough to speak, she whispered, “Thank you.”

“Always,” Peeta responded without even thinking.

They both smiled when they heard Finnick whoop and say something about “finally” from down the hall before the door clicked shut.

Searching each other’s face, eyes flitting this way and that, from lips to eyes to nose to lashes, the space between them slowly began to close again, until it finally disappeared and was lost in a kiss, then another, and some more. 

In longing touches, laughter, and whispered discussions. 

Stolen glances and hidden smiles. 

The distance between them stayed small, much like the distance between each heart beat, until finally the nurses cleared her to no longer need the monitor. Probably more for their own sanity than anything else. 

When she finally got dressed in normal clothes and was discharged, she came out of the bathroom after braiding her hair, and smiled as Peeta waited for her by the door, his own broad smile across his face, one hand outstretched for her. When they were within touching distance, he firmly gripped her hand with his, reaching out to touch the tip of her braid with the other, fiddling with it absentmindedly, a goofy grin on his face.

Walking the few feet to the waiting wheelchair the hospital insisted she leave in, Peeta let go of her hand, but stayed as close as he could. After she finally was in the passenger seat of his car, he once again took her hand across the console, threaded their fingers together, and they both smiled. 

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Looking at him now, she understood her feelings of only a few days ago, walking through the quad with stolen glances. 

“Ready,” she said. 

Shifting the car into gear, Peeta gave her one more dazzling grin, and one last squeeze of her hand, before he turned to look at the road, and they rode in comfortable silence, and that wonderful feeling, of knowing that that special someone loves you back. 

After a few minutes, Peeta finally piped up, “Just so you know, that truce I called in the quad the other day? That only extends a few more days.”

Katniss turned a glare on him and he snickered.

[jobean12-blog]

oooooo! can you please do something like college student bucky dating (college student)reader and bucky is known to be the bad boy and such (reader is the opposite so shy, timid, and quiet i guess). people think bucky is mean and rude (also protective of reader) but really he's a super soft boy and only reader sees that 🥺 thank you so much if you make this 💓💞💕

Study Buddy 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (College AU)

Word Count: 745

Summary: Bucky meets you at the library after class and he’s sweet and soft and your favorite. 

Author’s Note: Thanks for this request, I really enjoyed writing it! I love College Bucky and I hope he’s sweet and soft like you want him to be! I imagine he would be just that and of course always stick up for his girl! Hope you enjoy! Thank you all for reading! Much love always ❤❤❤ Also, thankfully it has been brought to my attention that the gorgeous photo below is an edit by the loveliest @whimsicalrobots / @the-wayward-robot Thank you, it’s perfect! 😍

Warnings: Sweet fluff, soft Bucky and protective baby Bucky, light flirting and teasing fun :) 

Bucky sits down at the table, plopping his heavy textbook on top of yours. “Hey bookworm. How’s it going?” You giggle and look around, hoping no one noticed his loud entrance into the library. “Hi Bucky. Good thanks! You’re early.” He places a hot cup of tea next you with a smile. “Well, I missed you and I picked this up on my way, didn’t want it to get cold”

You wrap your hands around the cup and inhale, “thank you so much, you’re the sweetest!” He gives you the soft smile he reserves just for you and settles in the seat across, tangling his feet with yours under the table. You two spend the next hour or so studying and chatting quietly before Bucky’s stomach growls.

“Come on, let’s eat before we go back to the dorm.” Bucky stands and packs his bag, taking yours and throwing it over his other shoulder. “I’ll meet you at the door, I just wanna put this book back, I’m done with it.” He nods and heads to the exit. You put the book away and turn the corner, running right into some kids from your calc class.

“Oh, hey look, if it isn’t the math nerd.” They all snicker at once and you roll your eyes, trying to get around them. “Excuse me please, I’m meeting my boyfriend at the door.” The guy in front scoffs like he doesn’t believe you and you shift to the left, once again trying to get by. “I don’t see your little boyfriend anywhere.”

A large hand lands on his shoulder and you let out breath of relief at seeing Bucky standing behind him. “Is there a problem here?” he asks. The guy shakes him off his shoulder and turns. “Oh, it’s you Barnes. Figures she’d be dating an asshole.” Bucky crosses his arms over his chest and smirks. “Hmm, that’s funny. Pretty sure you’re the only asshole here. Then again. She would never look twice at you.”

Just as the guy is about to push back a staff member walks over to tell you to be quiet or leave. With one last dirty look the kids brush past you, the one bumping hard into Bucky on the way. “Hey. Hey baby, it’s ok, are you ok?” he quickly asks, putting his arm around you.

You lean on his chest and nod. “I’m fine. Those are the kids that are always saying something dumb in my calc class. I don’t even care I just hate that they think you’re an asshole. Bucky holds the door as you walk out into the warm sunshine. “Do you think I’m an asshole?” he asks sweetly, looking down at you curled into his side.

“I think you’re perfect,” you whisper, leaning up to kiss him. “Good, cause that’s all I care about.” The two of you head toward your favorite café, Bucky’s stomach making noises the whole walk. “Omg, did you forget to eat breakfast again?” He throws his head back with a laugh, “nah, babe, I woke up too late and I wanted to get to you first, so lunch will be my first meal.”

Giving his hand a firm squeeze you follow him into the place and grab a seat. He pushes in next to you on the seat of the booth and you giggle. “Buck, you’re squshin’ me!” He pushes his hip into yours and smushes you in, smiling and poking your sides. The waitress clears her throat to get your attention and you both look up at her with pink cheeks.

“Hi, sorry. We just need one more minute please.” She gives you a tight smile and walks away. “Ok, let’s order because now I’m really hungry too!” Bucky decides on nachos to start then a burger and fries. “I want dessert too,” he whispers against your ear. “Bucky,” you lightly scold, turning as red as the ketchup on the table.

“Are you gonna come back to my room for more studying? Steve’s out for the night.” Before you can answer him, the waitress appears with your food. You thank her and dig in, Bucky feeding you a fry every so often. “What are you staring at?” you ask him, hiding in his shoulder. “Your mouth,” he states matter of factly, “I can’t wait to get you back to my room.” This time you hit him hard in the chest, “I bet you can’t,” you quip and pop in another fry.  

@aesthetical-bucky @auro-ora @bugsbucky @book-dragon-13 @buckys-broody-muffin @bucky-on-my-mind @bucky-on-my-mind @buckys-henley @buckyandbowties @breezy1415 @chuuulip @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @hawksmagnolia @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @imgaril-lindru @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @lorilane33 @lokilvrr @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @mushyjellybeans @marvelgirl7 @marvelandotherfandomimagines @nano--raptor @pinkdiamond1016 @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @softpeachbarnes @scarletsoldierrr @tuiccim @the-wayward-robot @this-kitten-is-smitten @yansi1923 @tales-of-spring @hopefuldreamers-world @emilylyoness @buckosawrus @addikted-2-dopamine

[nalgenewhore]

kinda

elide x lorcan, fake dating au, word count: 2819

The drink in her hand was running low, so Elide politely excused herself from the circle of Lorcan’s friends that she’d been talking to and made her way to the kitchen. 

Her hips moved unconsciously to the music as she poured cranberry juice and vodka into her plastic cup. It wasn’t her favourite drink, but it was simple and the easiest to tell if someone had messed with it somehow. 

A warm, large hand slid across her lower back. At the first touch, Elide tensed, but as her body recognised it, she relaxed back into the hulking frame of her boyfriend. Fake boyfriend. “Hey,” she said, silently cursing herself. 

It had started to become more and more easy to mess up and forget her and Lorcan’s arrangement lately. Her subconscious didn’t want to think any of it was fictional. 

“Hey,” Lorcan replied, reaching over her to steal her drink and sip it for himself. Elide turned to scowl up at him. He made a face at the amount of spirits in her drink, “Christ, Lochan, how fucked up do you want to get tonight?” 

“Stop stealing my drinks,” she avoided the question, snatching the cup back and draining half of it. 

Lorcan smirked and cornered her against the counter, his body blocking her in. “And what are you gonna do about it,” he lowered his head, his full lips ghosting over her collarbone, “princess?” 

Her breath hitched and Elide crossed her arms over her chest, as if it would hide the blush that bloomed across her cleavage and throat. “You’re a pig.” 

“Mmm, you love me like that,” Lorcan murmured, pressed heated kisses up her throat and jaw. Just before he got to her lips - sticky and shimmery with iridescent gloss that had him wanting to act up - Lorcan paused. He lovingly cupped the sides of her neck and stroked his thumbs over her jaw, “You wanna get out of here? I’m kinda over it.” 

Elide nodded, flashing him a soft smile, “Yeah, of course.” She shoved him away to turn, dumping her drink down the sink and rinsing out her cup before tossing it in the recycling bin. Without turning around, she asked him, “Are you gonna drop me off at my place or…” 

“I was thinking you could stay with me tonight, but if you want, I can drop you off at home.” Lorcan tried for nonchalance and the only reason it worked was because Elide was trying to tame the wild beating of her heart. 

She turned back to him, smiling brightly at him, “That sounds good. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

Yet another smirk tugged at his lips and Lorcan brushed a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, “Horror movie marathon?” 

“Yep!” He laughed as Elide laced her fingers through his and tugged him behind her through the house. They called out good-byes to their friends on their way and when they got outside, Lorcan pulled Elide back against him. “What are you– oof!” 

The sound was ripped from Elide’s throat as Lorcan slung her over his shoulder like she was nothing and continued walking. “Lorcan,” she wiggled over his broad shoulder, pummeling his back with ineffectual blows, “put me down!” 

The man just banded his arm across the backs of her thighs, “Stop moving, you’re gonna fall.” Laughter laced through his words and Elide narrowed her eyes at his back. 

With a new resolve, Elide squirmed more erratically than she had before and Lorcan swore, “Stop it, I don’t want to drop you.” 

Elide smirked and jabbed him in the side, “That’s what you get for telling me what to do.” 

Lorcan unceremoniously dropped her from his shoulder. He still had the grace to make sure she wouldn’t tumble and his hands hovered over her waist as she landed on her feet. “You’re so fucking stubborn, Lochan.” 

While he was busy shaking his head at her, with fake ire in his eyes, Elide dug her hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys. She darted around him to the driver’s seat and hopped in, “You love me like that.” 

Lorcan couldn’t argue with her and reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat. 

When they got to his apartment, Elide disappeared into the bathroom. Lorcan had kept his hand on her thigh the entire ride, making innocent circles with his thumb over the material of her skintight jeans. Damn him. 

He had no idea what he was doing to her and it was so fucking unfair. She wanted to be mad at him, but it wasn’t Lorcan’s fault that she had fallen in love with him. He had explicitly stated that they were dating to make his ex, Maeve, jealous. He’d even laughed, telling her how much of a joke it was when Rowan warned him not to in case he caught feelings. 

She blew out a long breath, trying not to cry as she washed her face. Elide had spent enough nights at Lorcan’s apartment to have a small collection of her skin care and other things. Lorcan had been the one to bring it up, to sell the ruse a little more if Maeve ever decided to drop by unannounced, which wasn’t unlike her.  

Every time she’d done it, Elide had had the utter pleasure of greeting her. Usually, when Maeve buzzed up, they would quickly mess Elide’s hair up and Lorcan would toss her whichever shirt he was wearing. 

Maeve’s eyes always flashed dangerously when Elide opened the door, but she had never attempted anything other than a cold asking of Lorcan’s whereabouts. Elide got such joy out of telling Maeve he was still in bed or waiting for her in the shower. 

Elide rubbed her eyes as she slipped into Lorcan’s bedroom, making a beeline to his closet. She made to strip when someone cleared their throat from behind her and she turned, spotting Lorcan lounging on his bed with his laptop on his lap. “Oh. I didn’t know you were in here.” 

“Oh,” he purred, dragging his eyes down her body and up again, “don’t let me stop you, princess.” 

She snatched her favourite t-shirt of his and hissed, “You’re such a pig, Lorcan.” Elide marched back into his bathroom as he laughed, looking far too pleased with himself. 

When she walked back out, her legs bare beneath his shirt, whatever he was going to say died on his tongue. Elide smirked and cocked her hip to the side, “My eyes are up here, Lorcan.” 

He swallowed and flicked his eyes to the side, shifting in bed, “Whatever. Do you want to pick what we’re watching?” 

Elide put her clothes on his dresser and climbed into bed beside him. The moment she sunk into the mattress and pillow, her eyelids drooped. She pointed randomly, “That one.” 

Lorcan chuckled and pulled her into his side, “You tired, babe?” 

She hummed, turning her face into his chest, “Yes. Sleepy.” Elide lifted her head to rest it against his shoulder. “We should watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.” 

“That’s not a horror movie. That’s a Christmas movie.”

“Yes it is and no it’s not,” she murmured softly, completely melted into his side. “It’s not nice to argue with your girlfriend.” 

“I would never argue with you, princess,” Lorcan replied, gently combing his fingers through Elide’s long hair and scratching her scalp with his nails. 

She hummed again, moaning softly as he did it again. “Do that again,” Elide whispered, her eyes falling shut. It seemed like too much effort to open them up again.

“You falling asleep on me, El?” 

“Mmmm… yeah.” 

Lorcan laughed quietly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head, “Go to sleep. It’s ok.” 

“Ok,” Elide whispered, her hand curling into a fist over his heart. “You’ll stay with me, right?” 

“For as long as you want,” he promised. 

Without a care in the world, Elide told him, “I want you forever and ever. ‘m never lettin’ you go.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

The next morning, Elide woke up sprawled across Lorcan’s bed. She sat up groggily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Lor? Where are you?” 

She heard Lorcan’s deep laugh from the other room, “Making breakfast, princess. Stay there, I’ll be back quick.” 

“With tea?” 

He scoffed, “Of course. I’m not brave enough to face Elide Lochan without her morning tea.” Footsteps approached his bedroom and a couple seconds later the door opened. 

Lorcan leaned against the doorframe, crossing his tattooed arms over his equally tattooed chest, “Morning, darling. How’d you sleep?” His dark eyes glittered with delight at her messy hair. 

Elide rolled her eyes and brushed it back, “I slept very well.” She smoothed her hands over the duvet and fell back onto the pillows. “Come back in bed with me. Be lazy.” 

He laughed, shaking his head, “You know I have work, El. And so do you.” 

“That’s boring.” 

“You’re boring.” 

“You’re boring.” 

“No, you’re boring.” 

“Uh-uh, you are boring.” 

“No way, I could never be—“ 

Someone knocked on his front door and their stupid bickering was put on pause. Lorcan frowned as he looked over his shoulder, “I’ll get that. You,” he pointed at her, “stay right there.” 

Elide smiled and stretched her arms above her head, sighing softly. She rolled over onto her stomach and buried herself deeper into the duvets and pillows. 

She heard Lorcan open the door and hushed voices began to speak. She figured it was a delivery person or maybe his landlord. 

Elide attempted to fall back asleep, but without Lorcan next to her, any effort was futile. Five minutes later, he hadn’t returned to her and Elide was curious. 

She slipped out of bed, smoothing her hair back. Elide padded through the silent apartment to Lorcan’s front door. 

The moment she turned into the hallway, her whole world shattered at her feet. 

There was Lorcan. And Maeve. His hands were on her slim waist and she had her fingers tangled in his hair. They kissed like it was second nature, and Elide supposed it was. 

She must’ve made some noise, some pathetic little gasp, because Maeve pulled away and flashed Elide a smug grin over Lorcan’s shoulder. The elegant, lean woman hardly had to lift onto her tiptoes. “Oh, Elide. I didn’t know you would be here.” 

Lorcan spun, his eyes wide, “Princess.” 

“Oh, don’t mind me, please,” Elide said, trying to stop the tears in her eyes. “I just… crashed here after the party last night.” She let out a strangled laugh, waving her hands, “It’s really, really nothing.” 

Maeve smirked and Elide couldn’t stand it anymore, so before Lorcan could say one more thing, maybe even thank her, Elide walked into his room again to pull on the leggings she had forgotten last week. 

As she gathered her things, Lorcan ran in, his eyes wild, “El, please, don’t leave. I can ex- I want to explain, please.” 

“Oh my gods, Lorcan, don’t worry,” Elide said, laughing a hollow laugh. Pain echoed in her chest and it hurt to swallow, “It’s fine. I, um, I guess I just caught feelings, yeah? It’s not your fault at all. I just- have fun with… her.” 

She pushed Lorcan out of the way and left quickly, ignoring the triumphant gleam in Maeve’s eyes. In the elevator, she dug her phone out and called Aelin. The tears spilled down her cheeks when Rowan picked up, his voice scratchy with sleep, “Ellie, it’s Ro. Ae’s still asleep.” 

“Um, that’s- that’s fine. I just need someone to pick me up,” she tried not to let him hear her crying. “I’m at Lorcan’s.” 

He paused, speaking away from the speaker as Aelin’s sleepy voice was heard, muffled. “I’ll be there in five.” 

Elide hung up and put her phone in her bag. She let her head fall back against the elevator wall and cried softly, cursing herself for her stupidity. 

She should’ve never told him she would do it. She should’ve told him to find another person, to find another way to make Maeve jealous. 

When she got outside, the air was bitingly cold and nipped at her face. Elide tucked her chin into her chest, trying to conserve whatever heat she could. 

As she waited, nobody came after her. Lorcan certainly didn’t and Elide’s mind was attacked with flashing images of him in bed with Maeve. She cringed, closing her eyes against them. 

Soon enough, Rowan pulled up in front of her and reached across the seat to open the passenger door for her, “Hey, Ellie. Hop in, it’s freezing.” Elide mutely climbed into his truck and pulled the door shut. “What happened?” 

“Um, M-Maeve came by and… guess we don’t need to fake it anymore,” she said, shrugging her shoulder up. “Can you drop me off at home, please? I don’t really want to see anyone.” 

Rowan nodded as he pulled away from the curb, his face set in a stoney frown, “Of course.” He didn’t make a single comment about the unceasing stream of tears down her cheeks. Elide looked down at her lap, sniffling slightly. 

“Why did I say yes, Ro. Why did I tell him I’d do it?” 

He sighed deeply, shaking his head, “I don’t think I need to tell you why, El.” 

“Yeah,” Elide whispered. “I know.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide moved through the motions of getting ready for bed. She was numb as she filled her kettle and placed it on the stove. 

She got her favourite mug down and scooped chamomile tea into her metal tea strainer-ball thing. Elide dropped it into the mug and waited for the water to boil. 

She sighed, rubbing her eyes. For the entire day, she had ignored her phone. Lorcan had tried calling her. Aelin, Rowan, Vaughan, and Fenrys, too.

Nehemia had dropped by during her lunch break to bring her food and even braided her hair back. She’d left after a kiss on the forehead and a promise for breakfast the next day. 

The kettle boiled just as someone knocked on the door. “One second,” she called out, her voice hoarse. Elide poured the water in and put the kettle off to the side. 

Elide walked over to the door and didn’t bother checking through the peephole before she opened it. The moment she saw who was standing there, Elide regretted not looking. “Lorcan, you don’t need to say sorry or explain,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I just- I can’t see you for a while. I need space to stop–” 

“Princess,” he breathed, shaking his head. “Please. I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me, I- please. I don’t want to be with Mae- with her.” 

Tears sprung in her eyes and Elide threw her hands up, “I can’t keep track, Lorcan! You don’t want to be with Maeve, you’re in a fake relationship with me, you–” she was cut off by Lorcan’s lips on hers. 

“None of it was fake, Elide,” he whispered, his words murmured against her lips. He cupped her face like she was precious, like she would disappear right before him. He kissed her harder, deeper, “Not a single fucking second was fake for me.” Lorcan pulled away, his eyes desperately searching hers in fear. “Was it fake for you?” 

Elide swallowed, her hands lifting to grip the front of his shirt. She shook her head, the tips of their noses brushing together, “Gods, no. None of it.” 

He smiled then, pulling her closer to kiss her again, “Good, ‘cause I’m kinda in love with you.” Her breath hitched in her throat and Elide had to  pull back, her eyes wide. Lorcan laughed softly at her stupefied expression and tugged at the end of her braid, “Can I come in now?” 

She nodded dumbly and blinked slowly, “Yeah- you- you’re in love with me?” Elide stepped back to let him in. Lorcan was still wearing a smile as he closed the door behind them. 

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to her, uneasily sliding an arm around her waist. Elide rested her hands on his chest, fiddling with the worn collar of his t-shirt. Lorcan gripped her chin and tilted it up, “Is that ok?” 

“That you’re in love with me?” she asked, smirking up at him with her eyebrow arched in challenge.

“Well,” Lorcan drawled, kissing her cheek softly, “kinda.” 

Elide laughed, hitting his chest with her fist, “You’re such a prick!” She gripped his collar and pulled him down to kiss him again, “You’re so lucky I’m in love with you.” 

Without any effort on her part, Lorcan gripped the backs of her thighs and picked her up. Her legs locked around his waist like second nature. “You’re in love with me?” 

“Yeah, well,” Elide whispered, running her hands up his shoulders. She slid her fingers into his hair, kissing him deeply when he smiled, just to taste his joy, “Kinda.”

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @ladyverena @ttakeitbacknoww @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse  @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @empress-ofbloodshed​ @b00kworm @hizqueen4life @silversprings98 @amren-courtofdreams @minaidss @superspiritfestival @sanakapoor @ireallyshouldsleeprn @spyofthenightcourt

[ejzah]

A/N: Well, that was a pretty resounding yes for part 2. I’m not sure if this is AU or not. Things got quite angsty and dramatic.

Rumor Has It, Part 2

***

Deeks pasted on a smile, trying to give the illusion that he was listening to the 29 year old sitting in front of him. Sophia Glossman was upbeat, funny and, attractive. On any other occasion, he’d probably be perfectly happy to share dinner with her. The problem was he wasn’t here by choice.

And she wasn’t Kensi. From her short blonde hair to her barely five feet of height, she was just about as different from Kensi as you could get.

He pushed that thought to the very back of his mind. Right now he needed to appear to be an attentive boyfriend and thinking about his issues with Kensi would not be helpful.

Despite his best attempts to draw her out, Kensi remained stubbornly standoffish. Every time she ignored him or answered in monosyllables instead one of her awful jokes, he the knot in his stomach grew a little heavier.

“Xavier?”

Deeks’ inhaled shallowly at his alias’ name, refocusing on Sophia. Based on her expression, he missed some integral part of the story.

“Oh, sorry,” he muttered, silently berating himself for getting distracted. “What were you saying?”

Sophia leaned forward, balancing her chin her cupped hands.

“I was just telling you about this jerk I had at the bar today,” she explained. “Are you ok? You’ve been really distracted today.”

“Yeah, just, uh, rough case.”

“Oh no, is it still the DCS case?” Clearly thinking his subdued demeanor was to do with concern for his client, she reached for his hand, rubbing her thumb along his, and brushed his hair back from his forehead. He resisted the urge to shake it back in place.

Xavier Moricz was a little more refined than Marty Deeks. He wore suits on a daily basis and drove a car that was far outside a cop’s pay.

“Uh, yeah, it’s not going well. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep her from serving time. It might even be years,” Deeks said, taking inspiration from a dozen similar cases he’d worked as a public defender. He let the remembered emotion wash over him again and swallowed harshly, glancing up at Sophia with a shrug. “She could lose her kids forever.”

“I’m so sorry, Xav,” Sophia murmured, cupping his cheek. “You know, I think it’s wonderful that you do so much pro bono work for people who can’t afford a lawyer, but you’re working yourself way too thin. You need to take a break once in a while and-” she shrugged playfully, leaning even closer so he could see the flecks of darker blue in her eyes-“relax.”

He shivered at her touch, which wasn’t unpleasant at all, and made him think of Kensi even more. Grabbing Sophia’s hand, he kissed her knuckles, looking directly into her eyes. He saw her pupils widen with desire.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Why don’t you come over to my apartment and find out.” She skimmed her nose down his cheek, her breath warming his skin. “I have a bottle of really good tequila I might have “borrowed” from work and I don’t have to be in til 3.”

Deeks caught her mouth with his, kissing her for several long seconds and then pulled back with a groan.

“You have no idea how much I wish I could, but I have three depositions in the morning and I need to finish prepping,” Deeks said with an apologetic sigh.

“Workaholic,” Sophia teased, giving him a slightly exasperated look. “Ok, I’ll give you a pass. This time. But you owe me.”

***

Deeks got to his apartment just before 11. To make up for declining her mildly scandalous offer, he’d lingered at the restaurant, paying special attention to Sophia.

As he reached the front steps, he jerked as a figure slipped out of the dark shadows, instantly reaching for his gun before he realized it was Kensi.

“Kens, what are you doing here?”

She drew closer, but kept several feet between them.

“She seems nice,” Kensi said, her tone sarcastic. “A little young, but I guess that hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Wait, did you follow me?” Deeks asked, outraged and once again worried that he possibly hadn’t noticed her. He really needed to get his act together.

“You’ve been acting strange recently so I decided to matters into my own hands since you wouldn’t tell me.”

“Oh my god, Kensi...” Deeks shook his head and quickly brushed past her to open the front door. “We can’t have this conversation out here”

Kensi hesitated for a few second and then followed him inside, watching with her arms crossed as he turned on lights.

“So, are you going to tell me why you’ve been lying to keep your girlfriend a secret?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Deeks insisted.

“Really, because last I checked you don’t make out with friends.”

Deeks pinched the bridge of his noise, fighting the urge to let his frustration show.

“Or maybe she’s just a booty call,” Kensi continued recklessly and Deeks snapped, slightly outraged that she would suggest such a thing. He hadn’t dated anyone, let alone

“Kensi, do you really think I’d lie to you for a hookup? You know me way better than that.”

“I thought I did.” She shrugged. “But since you lied to me about where you were every night this week, anything is possible. For all I know, you’ve been seeing a different woman each day.”

“I would never do that to you,” Deeks said firmly and a hint of hopefulness crossed her face. God, he hated doing things to her. “And if I could tell you the truth right now, I would. Please believe me.”

Kensi’s face fell again, making his stomach clench uncomfortably, and she shook her head. She turned away, but not before he saw the tears shining in her eyes.

“If that were true, you’d find a way,” she said with quiet bitterness. “I thought we were-I thought we were friends, Deeks.“ Somehow that hurt more than anything she’d said so far. He took a step towards her, not really sure what he planned to do, but didn’t make it more than a few feet before his phone rang.

“Dammit!” he hissed when he saw the number and Kensi turned around with a slightly sad, knowing look. “Kens, I need to go right now, but I promise that I will explain everything to you.”

“No, that’s not necessary. You made it perfectly clear that we are partners and nothing more. Just like it should have always been.”

She moved around him, quickly heading for the door. He reached for Kensi, desperate to keep her from leaving even if he had no idea what he would say. He managed to catch her fingers and Kensi didn’t immediately pull away.

“Don’t go,” he begged, sensing that if she left now, something would be irrevocably broken between them.

“I can’t, Deeks,” she said raggedly. Her thumb moved against his, maybe unconsciously, and then she tugged free.

He immediately missed the warmth, the familiarity of her touch. She backed away from him, pulling up a mask of indifference in the time it took her to reach the door.

“I hope she’s worth it.”

***

A/N: Kensi may be just a touch OOC here. I figure that this takes place late season 4 and in my version of things, Kensi thought she and Deeks were close to moving toward a relationship and is now extremely hurt.

[idorkish]

4 AM Cuddles Part 2

A/n: this is the second part. Again, , this is something I wrote back in 2016 on my original idorkish blog. I couldn't find it in the mess of posts from that, so I'm posting from scratch.

Part 1 Here

Tagged: @agustdowney

It had been a week since your departure from the Avengers’ Tower. You had told Natasha you were just going to visit some family for a while - which wasn’t a complete lie. That night you left, you had called Hank, and as predicted, he had offered you space at the mansion. You knew seeing your old team would be good for you. There were many times over the past years that you almost went back to them, but you knew you couldn't. You hadn’t wanted to use your powers anymore and no one in SHIELD knew, or at least they pretended not to know. Despite this, home was with the X-men and the students. 

You knew you didn’t have much time left before having to return to the Avengers, it was your job. The past week was spent reconnecting with your friends. You spent time with Piotr - drawing and painting together and helping the students in his classes. Other moments were spent with the girls - Jean & Ororo- shopping and gossiping. You also helped around with chores and classes, as needed. Charles insisted you use the time to rest but you loved helping with the children and they seemed to like you back. Most nights you spent in the lab with Hank. It was the most comforting place for you and you felt as if you had never left this space. Despite being close to other X-Men, everyone knew you and Hank were each other’s favorites.

The past week had been filled with nothing but joy and happiness. A few people questioned your real motives for returning but you dismissed them immediately. Charles and Jean were sure to know your real reasons but both kept their old promises of never invading your mind to poke around. Jean knew that with time, you would open up and tell what happened. Otherwise, she was glad to have one of her best friends back. 

You had at least another full week left before you would be forced to return. Knowing you would have to leave your family and friends again was hard and began to weigh on you. Late Thursday, you found your way to the roof of the mansion, your feet hanging over the sides. When younger, and still a student here, you would often find yourself up on the roof to get away from everyone. The quiet that came from being alone gave you time to think. You had taken off and immediately threw yourself into keeping yourself busy, that you never once gave yourself the time to think of what had happened and your next steps. Would you actually go back to the Avengers? You'd be forced to work with Tony and pretend that you never had an issue with him. You knew that if you went back, Natasha would figure everything out. The team wouldn't be the same. You could go back to being a normal agent, perhaps change office locations. But you loved being out in the field, fighting with the team was something you couldn't go back from. 

     Your other choice was to leave and stay at the Mansion. Charles would be more than willing to let you stay. You could work with the students in class or you could help Charles with admin things. Heck, you were sure Hank would be willing to make you his assistant if it meant you staying. The thought that disturbed you the most was that of running away from both and never returning. You knew you could leave in the middle of the night and they'd have a hard time finding you. Even with cerebro, it would take Charles time to find you and you'd be gone by the time they got there. 

“Bad day?” A voice called out making you scream and jump. 

You flailed about as you started to fall from the ledge back into the roof. The voice started laughing. 

“You ass,” you sighed when you realized the voice belonged to your blue ball of fuzz. “Damnit Fuzz, why do you enjoy sneaking up on me?” 

“Why do you insist on calling me Fuzz?” 

“I asked first, Hank.”

Hank walked toward you and helped you to your get before pulling you close and placing his hands on your waist. 

“Because, my dear, it is far too amusing and adorable to see you so lost in thought that you don't realize the amount of noise I do make to get your attention, yet you still get scared. So again, bad day?” 

Resting your forehead on his chest, all you could do was sigh and shrug. 

“Come on. You have to give me more than that.” 

You pulled away from your best friend and ran your hands down your face. 

“Just a lot to think about. I’ve made some bad choices lately and I’m not sure what to do anymore.” 

Hank stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back to his chest. Instinctively your arms wrapped around his waist and you snuggled against him. He looked down at the woman in his arms and sighed as he rubbed your back. 

“I got an idea. What about an ice cream and movie night? Like we used to do. I’ll grab the ice cream and spoons, you pick the corniest movie you can find, then you can vent to your dear ol’ Fuzz.” 

You let out a smile and nodded your head against his chest. “That sounds perfect. Meet in your room?” 

“Meet you there in 20 ok?” 

-------------------

-Back at the Tower-

Natasha flopped down on the couch next to Clint and sighed. It had been a week since she had last seen her best friend and despite the messages that she was ok, Natasha couldn’t help but worry. 

“Ya know, if she says she’s ok, then you know she’s ok right?” Clint’s voice broke Natasha out of her thoughts and she nodded slowly. 

“I know, but it doesn’t feel right. She’s never talked about her family to me and we talk about everything. She would have told me something before taking off in the middle of the night while we’re all away. Do you think she’s in some sort of trouble?” 

It was not often that Natasha would show her worry. It was even rarer for Natasha to visibly be anxious. Clint sighed and grabbed her legs, pulling them onto his lap and massaging her calves slowly. 

“Tasha, calm down. Y/n is ok. She has another week before she’s back here. And we’ll probably see her at the party this weekend.” Throwing her head back against the sofa’s cushions, she let out a groan. 

“I forgot about that party! And we’ll be having ‘important people’, as Stark refers to them, there as well.” Clint let out a laugh and pushed her legs off his lap. 

“It’ll be fine. I got to go, training and all.”

Natasha half-heartedly waved at Clint. Pulling her phone, she shot off some quick messages. 

Tasha: y/n!!!! See you at the party right?! Miss you babe! :*

y/n: Tasha! <3 <3 Fingers crossed! Miss ya right back my baby spider! 

Tasha: Even if you aren’t here, help me pick out something, k? Skype? Pics? HELP! <3

y/n: Send me pics and I’ll help. I’m 90%  sure I’ll make it to the party. Pinky promise!

Tasha: Ugg, you’re killing me! I’m taking Wanda shopping tomorrow, we’ll send plenty of pics so be near your phone! OR ELSE

Y/n: lol I promise! I gotta get going. Need to help with dinner. LOVE YOU MI AMOR!

Natasha sighed and tossed her phone on the coffee table. She normally wouldn’t be this anxious but she knew something was off. Y/n would never keep things from her. Sighing, she shook her head. It would only be a few more days before the big party. She’d see Y/n there, for sure. Jumping to her feet, she made her way to the twins’ apartment area, “WANDA! We need to start planning for Saturday!”  

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

After an hour of binging on ice cream and corny 80s movies, you had finally vented to Hank about everything that happened, although you decided not to mention names. You knew that Hank wasn’t the biggest fan of Tony Stark, and you didn’t want him to look at you differently. 

“So, you slept with a co-worker behind everyone’s back and behind his partner’s back? You know you’re my best friend, and I won’t judge you, but that was a mistake,” Hank pointed his spoon at you before grabbing another spoonful of ice cream. 

“I know Fuzz! That’s why I broke it off! I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want it to be awkward, but then it became awkward! I really thought I was in love with him ya know? Then I realized I was just being used and I pulled away from him. But then he started getting all weird,” pausing you shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth and sighed.

 “...and? Cmon, I’ve let you go the whole week without me asking anything. You were pretty anxious on the phone when you called. I’m worried about you Boo.” 

You smiled and chuckled at the nickname. You had called him Fuzz from day one of being friends, it was a name only you could call him. It wasn’t until you forced him to watch Monster’s Inc that he started calling you Boo. Scooting closer, you rested your head on Hank’s arm and sighed.

 “Hank, I was falling in love with a man who was already taken. I convinced myself that he would leave her because he obviously wasn’t happy with her. I kept telling myself that it would all work out. It wasn’t until he proposed to her that it all came crumbling down, but he still kept coming to me,” you sniffled and wiped at your nose. 

Hank shook his head and pulled you to sit between his legs and his arms wrapped around you. There were no words he could say to make your heart heal and it was in moments like these that he felt helpless. “Boo...Y/n, despite what happened. Maybe it’s for the best,” he took a moment to think of his next words carefully, unsure as to how you would react, “What if you just came back here? With me..Well with us. It wasn’t that bad was it? I-I-we all miss you!” 

You sat between his legs, your head resting on his chest. You had sat like this so many times over the time of your friendship and it had been the most safe spot you could ever find. You moved your hand to his arm and slowly stroked at the blue fur.

“I’ve been thinking about that ya know. About staying. I was going to talk to Charles and see if I could just work at the school. I’m sure I could do the most good here. I wouldn’t need to use my powers as much here…” your voice drifted. You closed your eyes and felt Hank shift behind you. He moved you both so you were now laying on the bed, you laid on him and nuzzled your cheek to his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist.

 “Y/n, we would all love you to come back home. Let’s be honest, Charles would let you do nothing all day if it meant you came back. But it has to be because you want to be here and not because you’re running from your problems. It didn’t work well last time, it won’t work well this time. You’re my best friend, and you should know I love you more than anybody else. So when you’re sure about what you want, I will support you.” 

You wiped at the tears threatening to spill and nodded at his words. You knew what you had to do. Before you could come back to your family, you had to face your team. You couldn’t just abandon them. 

“Hank, there’s a party at work coming up. WIll you go with me? Pretty please? With cherries and sprinkles on top?” 

Hank gave a toothy grin and nodded, “Of course I will. We’ll make everyone jealous. I mean, cmon, Just look at me!” 

You looked up at his smirking face and both of you started laughing. 

“Let’s get some sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning,” Hank pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and pulled you tightly against him. Giving him a nod, you relax in his arms. This was how you often found yourself falling asleep after missions. Being in his arms again was comforting, it was safe and felt like home. 

“I love you Fuzz.” 

“I love you too my little Boo.”

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch14: True Perfection Has To Be Imperfect

Chapter Summary: Frank gets the keys to the new apartment and the renovations start. Everything seems to be going so well for them all, until Fliss gets some news that rocks the very foundations they’ve been building.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

 A/N: As always, if you like and enjoy please comment and Re-Blog. I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 13

 It’s your time, it’s your day, it’s never too late, to change lanes.

Frank could tell something was off the minute he pulled onto the yard. The usual chatter that rang out was absent and there just seemed a general air about the place that he couldn't identify. But it wasn't long before he found out why.

"Fliss is on the floor!" Mary’s voice loud with worry as she pointed into the paddock. Frank glanced over as he shut the door to his truck and felt himself grow cold. He broke into a jog, heading towards the fence and let out a sigh of relief when he saw she was moving.

“Wait here…” he instructed Mary before, with a flourish, he vaulted over the side of the paddock and jogged across the riding paddock.

 “What happened?” he asked.

 “Oh, hey Sailor!” Fliss grinned up at him, where she lay flat on her back, Thor led by her side, head on her thigh. “Just had a fall but everything’s working, just giving myself a minute to get my breath and what not.” “Nothing broken.” Joanne looked at Frank from where she knelt by Fliss, the reins to the big, black horse in her hands

Frank knelt down next to Fliss and looked at her as she reached out and gently ran her hand down his forearm. “How d’ya fall off?” “Oh Bronson got confused at the jump, was trying to dodge out to the right. I corrected him and he kind of took off, twisted mid-air and I got unseated.” she explained.

 “It was a pretty good show of acrobatics.” Joanne nodded in agreement.

 Thor gave a little whine and his head moved, his eyes looking up at Fliss who scratched his ear.

 “I’m ok, mate.” she said softly. “I’m good.”

 "This wouldn't happen on a boat ya know" Frank teased gently and she looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow as she propped herself up on her elbows.

 "Boats are boring...nothing like having a half tonne animal between your legs" she replied, causing him and Joanne to smirk.

“You’re terrible.” Joanne shook her head as Fliss simply grinned.

 “Okay, I’m good to go." Fliss sat up fully. Frank got up off his knees and held out his hand, gently pulling her to her feet. She dusted herself off and then turned to take Bronson's reins off Joanne.

 "Can you give me a leg up?" She asked and Frank felt his heart stop

 "You cannot be serious!" He spluttered back.

 "What?"

 “You’re getting back on?”

 “Yeah.” Fliss looked at Frank as if he was stupid “I’m not hurt, not really, just gonna ache like hell for a few days. It’s the same as riding a bike, you don’t stop if you fall off!” “It’s a little different to riding-“

“Besides,” she spoke over him, “he’ll be unsettled and if I don’t get on and end the session well it’s gonna be in his mind, and mine for that matter, for next time and it’ll just be a nightmare so…”

Frank knew there was no point in arguing with her. Instead he held his hands up and backed away as Joanne boosted her up.

“What happened?” Mary asked as he reached the paddock fence she was now perched sideways on, her legs hanging either side.

 “She fell off.” Frank answered simply. “She’s okay though. She’s back on.” They watched as Fliss gently walked the horse round before picking up trot, then canter and then turned him straight for the jump. Frank grimaced slightly but he needn’t have bothered, the horse cleared the fence and Fliss gently slowed him down, patting him.

 “Fucking crazy.” Frank mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

Whilst Fliss wasn’t seriously injured, she was certainly feeling the effects later on that night. Frank had called Verity, despite Fliss’ protests that she was fine, who had dropped round to Frank’s with some painkillers that were slightly stronger than your average ones. Fliss had taken two before dinner and as a result had started feeling a little bit woozy and light headed, commenting to Frank that it felt like she’d been smoking something funny. After diverting Mary’s questions on what that meant, they’d watched a bit of TV until Fliss announced she was thirsty.

 “I’ll get it.” Frank made to move but she stopped him.

 “I’m fine.” she sat up with a grimace, grabbing at her notoriously bad shoulder.

 “Baby, just-“ “Frank, stop it!” she said a little sternly. “I’ve fallen off more horses than you’ve had women.” “Wow.” he looked at her, and she snorted.

“I just mean it ain’t the first time and it sure as hell won’t be the last, kinda comes with the territory. I’m just gonna a bit bruised.”

 “Fine” he relented, and she pushed herself up off the sofa and walked slowly into the kitchen.

 A moment later he heard her groan “Fraaaaaaank.” “What?”

 “The soda’s on the top shelf. I can’t stretch my arm.” “What’s that? You do need my help?” “Stop being a dick.” she shot back, and with a wink at Mary who was laughing, he stood up and headed into the kitchen.

Not long after that they all ended up heading to bed. Frank knew that tomorrow was going to be a long day as he was getting the keys to the new apartment in the morning and they were starting the work straight away, Bill already scheduled to come and help. He’d booked as much time as he dared off work over the next week, given that he hadn’t been working there all that long but thankfully his Team Leader had been very understanding and Bill had said he’d take over on the days Frank had to be in.

Fliss stretched out, hissing at the bite of pain that coursed through her side and shoulder, the noise she made caused Thor to immediately spring up on the bed, nuzzling his face into Fliss' causing her to wince a little as he basically led over her like a huge teddy bear.

"Careful, buddy." Frank gently chastised the dog, reaching over to scratch his ears. He knew the animal was incredibly tuned into Fliss’ feelings, as were Cap and Heidi, the two horses she owned. It was something that genuinely amazed him and, if he was honest, made him smile a lot.

"Stupid soft git." Fliss muttered fondly, as Thor lay his head on her chest, teetering on the edge of the mattress, precariously, until a few seconds later he rolled and toppled off causing them both to giggle. The German shepherd shook himself off, shot them a scathing look, before he headed to his bed and flopped down with a loud huff.

"He didn't like it when you were on the floor before." Frank said softly, as she moved tenderly to lay her head on his chest. His hand reached round to card through her hair and down the side of her neck.

"No he never has." Fliss said gently "Ever since I got him he's been like that. He would always be the one that would lay by me, lick my face after...." she trailed off, the sentence didn’t need completing.  "He would growl something rotten at John when he started, but it was Loki that went for him in the end. That's why John killed him"

Frank stiffened, his hand stilling on the crown of her head, not quite sure he had heard right. "He killed your dog?" he repeated, questioningly.

"Yeah." Fliss swallowed. “He said he had bought him as a guard dog for the property not for me." She sniffed a little. "He poisoned him"

 "Oh, Lissy, I..." Frank sighed and she gently tangled her hand in the hair on his chest.

"I know."

 They lay still for a moment, her hand tracing shapes on his skin before she suddenly blurted out.

 "How do you do it? How do you make being with you so fucking easy?"

 "What?" Frank frowned.

 "This...I mean...you're kind, gentle, smart, funny, considerate. You know I’d half convinced myself you were gonna be crap in the sack to compensate it all but..." she shook her head. "I don’t get it."

"You don't get it because you spent almost four years living with a cunt who treat you like shit"  Frank said simply, anger flooding his system. “Lissy, I’m not perfect, far from it. I’m stubborn, opinionated, shit with words, I’m really untidy as you’ve noticed and, well, up until meeting you my longest relationship in the last ten years lasted for six months.” He shook his head. “All I do is treat you how you should be treated, with love and respect. Don’t put me on a fucking pedestal for being normal.”

She tilted her head and looked at him for a second, as Frank took a breath. That outburst had been a little uncalled for and harsher in tone than he’d meant, but he wanted her to understand that their relationship was normal. The way he treat her was normal. He was uncomfortable with this idea that she thought he was something special because he didn’t abuse her or hit her.

“I’m sorry I just…” he felt her stiffen besides him and he let out a soft sigh.

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt.” He gently pulled her closer and nuzzled his face into her hair, kissing her head “You’re worthy of everything I said as a bare minimum. It’s not me being some kind of saint.”

“Can I put you on a pedestal for being gorgeous?” she asked after a moment’s pause and Frank snorted, shaking his head. “Well you are.” She protested at his response. There was another pause, until she broke the silence once more. “I do get it you know. Maybe I do appreciate you more because you’re not like him but, is that so wrong?”

“I’m not saying that, we’re together, we should appreciate each other.” he pressed. “I’m just telling you I’m not flawless.” “I know that.” she shrugged “Neither of us are. But isn’t that what makes this so perfect? It is because it isn’t. Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without”

“Confucius.” Frank raised an eyebrow at her, a small smile on his face as she looked up at him once more. Her eyes flashed and she grinned at him “How very philosophical.”

 She laughed “We’ll you’d know all about that, Professor.”

“Okay, here’s another one of his.” Frank grinned back. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall…”

“See, I told you I was right to get back on Bronson.” she quipped and at that Frank laughed.

******

Fliss woke the next morning to Frank gently kissing her cheek, softly running his hand over her hair.

“Morning Sweetheart.” he placed a mug of coffee on the side as she blinked and looked at him “How you feeling?” “Fucking sore.” she groaned. “What time is it?” “Half eight. I just packed Mary off on the bus.” “Half eight?” she sat up suddenly, immediately regretting it and winced once more. “Fuck, my alarm”

“Yeah I turned it off. Think the last batch of painkillers you took at three am wiped you out.” he sat on the edge of the bed as she shuffled up. She made to reach for her drink and let out a little huff of pain so Frank stopped her and handed it to her.

“Thanks.” She smiled. “I’ll ease off when I start to move about.”

“Well, don’t rush about.” He instructed as she took a drink of her coffee, before he saw her face fall.

“Oh, shit. I have a lesson to give at ten in St Pete’s…” she frowned, and Frank could she she was starting to worry so he gently reached out, tucking her wild auburn locks behind her ear.

“Just chill.” He shushed her. “Joanne called before.” He nodded to her phone “I answered and told her I didn’t know if you were gonna be in but she said she’d open up and reschedule your morning appointments. Then you can see how you feel this afternoon.”

For a moment he thought she was going to flip out at him effectively making a decision like that for her but after a second or two pause she gave a grateful smile and sat back against the pillows.

“Thank you.”

“Take your time, your mom and dad will be here in a bit. Then we’re gonna get the keys and start on the apartment.” Fliss grinned as she took another drink of coffee.“You excited?” “Yeah, yeah I am.” He said, honestly. “Just wanna get it all started and then we can move in.” She smiled and he stood up. “Your mom’s bringing breakfast, said something about her boys not being able to work on an empty stomach.” He arched a brow. “Her boys?” Fliss smirked over her mug. “You really have got her wrapped around your finger.” He chuckled “Well what can I say, I’m a likeable guy…” “Hmmm you’re something I’ll give you that.” she quipped, and he laughed, placing a kiss on her cheek before heading back out of the room.

It wasn’t long before Fliss’ parents arrived and they ate breakfast, Verity fussing over Fliss who kept assuring her and her dad that they were fine. Once they’d eaten, Bill and Frank headed over to meet his new landlord and after he handed over the keys, they got to work. For their first task they shut the utilities off and ripped out the bathroom, which wasn’t too big a job seeing as half of the damned suite was smashed up anyway. Once that was done they moved into the living room and tossed out the tatty old furniture that had been left before doing their first run to the local dump. Then they moved onto ripping up the carpet in the living room.

“Shit!” Bill spluttered as a cloud of dust rose up from where they had wrenched the offending item free from the tacks. Frank blinked, backing up slightly, before he stood up, arm across his mouth. “Didn’t think it would be that bad.”

Bill rose to his feet and they both moved away, Frank picking up a bottle of water that was on the side and rinsing his face with it. He tossed it to Bill who did the same, the pair of them looking at one another before snorting a laugh each, and shaking their heads.

“And I thought this would be the easy bit.” Bill wiped his face. “Was less hassle ripping out the bathroom.”

 It took them an hour or so to cut the carpet into easily manageable pieces, rip it up, and toss it into the back of their trucks. By now it was scorching outside, and also inside as the air con wasn’t on seeing as they had no power. This meant both men were dripping with sweat and Frank couldn’t remember ever feeling so damned warm or grubby in his entire life.

 By lunch time they’d pretty much cleared the lot. Carpets, broken light fittings, broken kitchen doors and also the old washing machine. Grabbing another bottle of water, Frank stood outside the apartment, hand on his hips and smiled at Bill who gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Good job, son.” he nodded. “It’s a blank canvas now. Dave will be here soon with the new bathroom, shouldn’t take us too long to plumb it all in, connections are already there. We can start the tiling tomorrow.”

Frank smiled and grabbed his T-shirt at the bottom, lifting it up to wipe at his face and as he did so he heard a sharp wolf whistle. When he emerged from his shirt he grinned and looked at Fliss who was slowly walking towards them with Verity, Thor following behind, both women carried familiar paper bags.

Frank made his way over and she stopped, where as Verity carried on, quite tactfully towards Bill and Fliss grinned.

“Hey.” she greeted him as he leaned down to give her a kiss and she wrinkled her face. “Gross, you’re all filthy and sweaty and…” She trailed off, her eyes glinting as her voice dropped slightly and she ran a hand up his arm to his shoulder “Actually…” “Behave.” he raised his eyebrow at her.

“Don’t wanna.” she pouted.

 He shook his head and nodded to the bag. “You bring me lunch, Honey?”

 “You need to keep your strength up.” She winked. “Mom drove us to Subway.” “I love you Verity!” Frank called as he fished out his Turkey sub and she grinned at him.

The four of them settled down where they could, Fliss sitting on the steps, Frank by her feet on the lawn and Bill and Verity perched on the tail of Bill’s truck. They ate together, Fliss telling Frank she’d postponed her teaching now until Monday to allow herself time to heal a little, which he was secretly pleased about. It wasn’t long after they had finished lunch that the new bathroom turned up the women left them to it.

Frank and Bill worked well together and between the two of them they had it fit in little under two hours and Bill connected the water back up to test it. When it worked properly Frank gave a nod of satisfaction and smiled. The suite was an off white colour, nice and with a modern large bath. It might have been second hand but you couldn’t tell, and Frank liked it.

“Not bad for a day’s work.” Bill smiled. “The tiling shouldn’t take too long tomorrow and then, well, it’s just a case of decorating and a new carpet.” At that point the two men heard footsteps and looked up to see Mary bounding in, followed by Fliss and Verity.

“Hey Stack.” Frank greeted her as she looked around. “Whaddya think so far?” Mary nodded appreciatively. “Least it has a toilet.” The adults laughed and Frank nodded “Yeah, I mean we can move in now.” “What?” she frowned “There’s no carpet in the living room!”

 “I was being sarcastic.” Frank replied and she narrowed her eyes at him.

 “Roberta says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

“Well, she’d know.” he shrugged.

 “Am I staying there tonight?” She questioned Frank.

“It’s up to you.” he replied “We’re not going out are we, Honey?”

Fliss shook her head “No way, I ache too much, but I was thinking we could BBQ maybe? All of us?” “Ooooh, yeah!” Mary nodded, agreeably “Then Roberta can come too.” Frank shrugged “Yeah, I’m ok with that.” “Mum, Dad?” Fliss asked.

 Verity and Bill exchanged looks and Bill nodded. “I need to nip home and shower first but…” “No need.” Fliss shook her head. “We swung by and picked you a spare change up. You can shower at Frank’s.” “Oh can I?” Bill looked at her. She grinned back in response as Bill turned to Frank “That okay? You know, seeing as it’s your place, not hers.” Fliss stuck her tongue out at her father whilst Frank simply shrugged.

“She acts like she owns the damned place when she’s there anyway so it might as well be.” he teased and she glared at him, digging him in the ribs.

 “Shut up”

*****

The next ten days consisted much in the same vein. Frank had to work on the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday but Bill took over the painting for him, and then on the Friday, a week after they had started, they fit the new carpets. The Saturday they spent fixing on the new kitchen doors and plumbing in the washing machine and on Sunday morning Frank fit the final touches, screwing in the new light fittings and then it was done.

That afternoon, Frank and Fliss stood in the middle of the living room admiring the finished article. It smelt of new carpet and wet paint, a smell Frank had grown immune to having been breathing it in for god knows how long.

 “It looks great.” Fliss smiled, taking the fresh, light grey walls, darker grey carpet which was complemented by the brushed steel modern light fittings.

 “Yeah, not a bad job.” Frank grinned. “We can start moving the stuff over tomorrow.” At that point Mary barrelled in from the hallway and beamed “My room looks awesome, Fliss, come see!” She gushed. Fliss allowed Mary to pull her out of the living room and followed her down the hall to the room on the right. It was a good sized bedroom, and it was freshly painted in light blue, a colour Mary had chosen herself.

 “Frank says I’m getting a new cabin bed soon with a desk underneath and I’m gonna put it against that wall.” She rambled on. “And on that wall I’m gonna stick my shells and there I’m gonna have my shelves for my books and a TV…” Frank leaned in the doorway watching as Mary pointed everything out to Fliss, his face curling into a smile. He’d never thought something so simple as having her own room would make the girl so damned happy.

 “…and Fred can have his own basket, although he never sleeps in them anyway…” Mary was continuing and Fliss looked up and caught Frank’s eye. He smiled at her gently and she beamed back.  “…and I can put my photos here…”  Mary finished “What do you think?” “I think it sounds amazing, Stack.” Fliss said, smiling at her “I can’t wait to see it all finished.” “Okay.” Frank pushed himself up straight from the door frame “Let’s go grab your stuff Stack and head over to find out what V’s made for dinner.” “I hope it’s beef.” Mary said, skipping out “Her Sunday beef is the best.” “It’s chicken.” Fliss whispered as Frank laughed, dropping an arm round her shoulders as they made their way outside. He locked the door and they headed back to the apartment, Mary collecting her stuff. Once Frank had checked she had everything she needed he tossed it into the truck and turned to Fliss.

“I’ve been thinking.” he said, as Mary climbed into the seat.

“Sounds dangerous.” Frank rolled his eyes “I know we said we weren’t gonna move in together yet, but, well, how about you bring some stuff over once I’ve got all the bedroom furniture and then that way you don’t need to pack a bag when you come stay.” Fliss smiled at him. “A sensible suggestion.” she agreed, her arms sliding around his neck.

“It has been known.” He grinned, his hands dropping to her hips as he leaned down to kiss her. They both jumped as the horn on the truck sounded and Mary leaned across the seats.

“Come on, stop kissing, I’m hungry.” “How about we ditch her on the side of the road?” Frank spoke loudly to Fliss and Mary scoffed.

“Stop making empty threats, Frank.” she sing songed.

Frank looked at Fliss who burst out laughing “You have no idea how damned similar the pair of you are.” She smiled with a shake of her head. *******

 It was almost a fortnight later when Mary casually told Frank she had reached her decision about Evelyn. It was a Friday and she had been at University for two classes that morning, and was heading to normal school for the rest of the afternoon. Part of the reason that Frank worked late on a Tuesday was so that he could be flexible when it came to things like this and could pop out for an hour or so to go and pick her up when he needed to.

He greeted her in the hallway as always and she slipped her little hand into his as they walked back outside and over to his truck. She glanced in the paper bag which contained her lunch he had bought her from the deli near the boat store, a treat he liked to get her every Friday now he could happily afford it without worrying and she grinned.

 “Save it for when you get to School. Otherwise everyone else will be eating and you won’t.” She folded the top of the paper bag over and grinned at him as he eased his way up the freeway.

“You drive like an old lady.” she grinned and Frank took a deep breath, a smirk on his face. That was a comment Fliss had made to him on numerous occasions, one which he normally retorted back with some reference to her driving like a maniac.

“It's Florida. I'm blending in.” He said simply to Mary, smile still playing on his lips. She side-eyed him for a moment, in a way that made her look ridiculously like Diane, even though he knew, again, that was a habit she’d picked up from Fliss. Or Roberta for that matter. Frank had a feeling that as Mary grew up she was going to be a perfect candidate for the whole nature v nurture debate…

“I talked to Fliss last night.” Mary said.

“I know, you stole the phone off me when she called and ran off to your room.”

“Yeah, why didn’t she stay with us last night?” “It’s Thursday, she never stays on a Thursday. You know this. She had paper work to do.” Mary fell silent.

“What were you going to say?” Frank gently pressed her.

“Huh?” “You said you talked to Fliss. Was that all you wanted to tell me or…” “Oh, no.” Mary replied “I asked her about whether I should see Evelyn.”

Frank took a deep breath, his face remaining passive “Right, so what did she say?” “The same as you. That it was my decision and whatever I wanted everyone would understand and be okay with it and that no one would be mad…”

“Of course no one will be mad.” Frank looked at her. “Evelyn is your grandmother, and it’s your decision if you wanna see her. Not mine, not the courts, not anybody’s but yours. And no one, not even me, is gonna be upset about what you decide, you got that?” “I know. And I’ve made up my mind.” “Yeah?” She nodded “I want to see her.” “Okay.” Frank licked his lips. Truth be told he wasn’t sure how he felt about this but he meant what he said. It was up to Mary and at least now he would have some control over the access. “If you’re sure then I’ll call her on Monday and we’ll make some arrangements.” “Maybe she can come here, see our new place.” “Maybe.” Frank nodded, although he had a feeling that hell freezing over would be more likely.

There was a moment’s silence as both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Frank stole a glance at his niece as she sat looking out of the window, chewing her lip and he decided to move her away from the subject as he turned off the main road.

“How was school?”

“Fun.” Mary nodded. “Not like regular school fun. But interesting.”

Fun. Regular. Two words Frank had craved for Mary all her damned life, and it made him smile to hear her so full of life, so happy, so settled.

Mary’s attention flickered from him to the seat next to her and she moved her lunch bag to look at it.

“What is this book?” she asked, picking it up and flicking it open.

“Discourse on Method.” Frank said, giving her the title of his latest read “Rene Descartes.”

“What's it about?” she pressed.

“Existence.”

“Existence?”

“Yup. I think, therefore I am” he said, a small smile on his face.

“Well, of course you are. That's obvious.” Marry rolled her eyes and Frank supressed a snort. Everything was so logical in her little brain, there was an innocence to it all that he loved.

“I think about Fred, therefore, I am Fred.” she continued.

“Cogito ergo Fred?” Frank teased looking at her.

“He's a dude and he's a guy,” Mary grinned, “and he only has one eye.”

Frank let out a chuckle as Mary tipped her head back and continued in a loud, ridiculous voice.

“Fred! Fred! Fred! Freeeeddddyyyy, Fred, Fred!”

Frank laughed began to slow down, pulling up by the school.

“All right, here we are.” He glanced over and saw Mary was fiddling with her belt and opening the door. “Hey, wait till I come to a stop…” he started to protest.

“Then come to a stop already!” Without so much as a glance back she grabbed her lunch and shot over to the playground which was brimming with other kids. He watched, a small smile playing on his face as she made her way over, dropping her lunch to the floor and throwing herself into a game. Something that he would never have believed possible back in September when she’d first started. But here she was, almost seven months later, like she’d been there all her life. His attention flicked to Bonnie as the woman shot him a friendly wave and a nod, which he returned before he set off back to work before someone called the cops on him for sitting outside a school staring at a yard full of kids.

****

As he was winding up at work for the day, Jake called him, an impromptu guys night out was being organised for that night as Jake had a ‘pass out’, his words not Frank’s. Frank hesitated for a moment, he hadn’t planned anything with Fliss as such, but it was Friday, their night…

“Oh come on!” Jake snorted as Frank rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me Frank Adler is hesitating over a night out!”

“No, it’s not that…” Frank protested “We’ve just had a really busy fortnight and…” “Man you’re whipped. Already. What is this? Like month five and you’re already in the-”

“I’m not whipped, I just like spending time with my girl, what’s wrong with that?”

“Dude come on!”

“Okay, okay.” Frank sighed. “What time?” “Eight at Fergs, and if you don’t show I’m gonna come round your gaff and drag you out myself.”

Frank shook his head and cut the call before he dialled Fliss.

“Hey, Sailor.” She greeted. “I was just thinking about you.”

“About me or that thing I did to you on Wednesday night?” he grinned and she snorted.

“No, about you. Although now I’m thinking about that thing.”

Frank chuckled. “So what were you thinking about?”

“Oh, erm, tonight. Thought we could grab a pizza and head up to the marina for a walk, maybe grab a beer.”

“Erm, yeah.” He sighed. Shit.

“We don’t have to.” She responded, clearly reading his voice tone. “It was just an idea.”

“No, I do, I just….” He took a deep breath. “Well, Jake called, said the guys are going for beers and it’s been a while since we all got together so I was…” “Frank…” Fliss laughed softly “You don’t need to justify yourself. If you wanna go out, go out.” “You don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“Well, Fridays are kinda our night.”

“I know but, well it’s not as much of a big thing now Mary has her own room, we kinda get our own nights a bit more often.” “Ok, fair point.” he smiled and she laughed.

“Maybe I can wait for you at yours? I can go to Roberta’s for a little while with Mary.” “You don’t have to ask.” Frank smiled softly “You can stay whenever you want, you know that.”

“Well, that’s settled then.” she replied, before someone shouted to her and she retorted before coming back to Frank “Sorry baby, I gotta go but I’ll see you later.” “Ok, love you.” “You too…”

***** After Frank headed out, Fliss wandered down to Roberta’s with a bottle of wine and after more loud hairbrush-karaoke, Roberta had cracked open the Bourbon and the two women had sat on the stoop until just gone eleven when Fliss had headed back. Throwing on one of Frank’s T-shirts she crawled into the king sized bed (an excellent purchase decision that she had talked him into) and snuggled down into the new blankets (another excellent purchase decision), Thor jumping up and taking his position by her feet.

She can’t have been asleep long when she woke as Thor gave a low whine and jumped off the bed, nudging the door open and heading out into the hallway.

Then she heard a thud, followed by cursing.

“Shit. Who put that there?” She heard Frank groan, then he started laughing “Thor! Get down!”

There was more laughing, and protests which Fliss listened to for a moment, before she swung her legs out of bed and headed down the short hallway. She quickly checked the front door as she walked past to make sure he’d locked it behind him, and then headed into the living room to find Frank led on the floor as Thor basically jumped all over him, licking his face and wagging his tail.

“Some guard dog you are.” Frank laughed again as he attempted to push the dog off him.

“Good job you’re not a burglar then.” Fliss spoke, causing Frank to look up, grinning stupidly at her “Mind you, the amount of noise you’re making you’d be a pretty shit one…”

“Heeey…” he grinned, as Thor finally moved off him and he pushed himself to his feet. “There you are!”

“Here I am.” Fliss nodded, and she couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face. He was beaming at her, a stark contrast to how John was when he used to come home drunk, but then that was Frank all over, a completely different person, and she knew that.

“There you are, my girl.” He stopped in front of her, his hands falling to her hips. “C’mere…”

“Ok, someone had a good night.” She grinned as he placed a sloppy kiss on her lips.

“Yeah, it was.” He nodded and then he suddenly looked around “So the bedroom moved.” he turned back to her and whispered conspiratorially. “It’s not where it usually is...”

“No, you moved.” She laughed. “You moved apartments, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” He nodded, before he looked down at her, taking in her bare legs “Is that my T-shirt?”

“Yes.” “Take it off, thief.” “Okay, let’s get you to bed.” Fliss patted his chest.

“Yeah?” He arched his eyebrow grinning.

“To sleep.”

“No sleep.” He pouted, dropping his head to gently nuzzle at her neck. “Wanna give you some lovin’...”

“Yeah and how are you gonna do that when you’re too drunk to take your pants off?” Fliss laughed as she led him down the hallway.

“You can take em off…” He said as he stopped in the bedroom, looking round.

“Oh I can, can I?” She asked as he kicked off his sneakers.

“Yes…” he nodded as he sat on the bed. “I’ll allow it.”

“You'll allow it?” Fliss deadpanned as he started to undo the buttons on his shirt. Eventually he gave up and reached back, grabbing it behind his neck and with a tug pulled it over his head, tossing it to the side. He reached out to Fliss, pulling her close to him, his arms wrapping around her back as he looked up at her.

“I will allow it, but only because I love you.”

“Ok so let me get this straight.” Fliss chuckled as she ran her hand through his hair. “You're gonna let me take your pants off because you love me?”

 “Yeah.” He nodded.

 “I'm so lucky…” She snorted

 “Hey, I’m a catch…” Frank let go of her and flopped back on the bed.

 “I never said otherwise.” she grinned, moving to take his belt off.

“Ah ha ha see, you do wanna get in my pants.” “I want to get you in bed, so help me out here hot-shot.” With a grin Frank raised his hips and she tugged down his jeans, dropping them by the side of the bed.

“Come on…” she patted the pillows and Frank shifted, moving the right way onto the bed and after a bit of a battle with the covers he’d settled himself down, one arm thrown over his head as he watched Fliss who gently turned off the lamp and settled down next to him. Shifting onto his side, his hand gently ran up her thigh, resting on her hip underneath his T-shirt.

 “I love you.” He said softly, and she smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you too.” she smiled “Even when you’re being a drunken idiot.” “I’m not drunk.” “Course not.” “Okay, maybe just a little bit.” he conceded after a moment. “But I do love you.” “I believe you.”

“So much, you know what? One day, I’m gonna marry you.”

 “Oh, are you?” Fliss asked, running her hand through his hair.

 “Yup, and then we’re gonna make little Franks and Flisses and…” he stopped as Fliss’ laughter filled the room. “Why are you laughing?” he asked her, his tone indignant “You don’t wanna marry me and make babies?”

 “Not after us being together for like less than 6 months.” she laughed.

 “Well that’s just rude…” he mumbled, dropping his head forward so it fell to her chest.

He stayed still for a moment, mumbling something else as Fliss continued to run her hands through her hair, and it wasn’t long before his soft snores told her he was asleep. With a fond smile she dropped a kiss to his head and closed her eyes.

*****

Fliss took great delight the next morning in telling Frank exactly how much shit he’d been talking when he came home, including telling her that he wanted to marry her and make babies. He’d groaned and banged his head on the table as he sat nursing a coffee, instantly regretting that as his head was pounding as it was. Thankfully, Mary had gone with Fliss to the yard and spent most of the day there leaving him to suffer in peace, firing abuse to the Circle Of Trust What’s-app group, his only slight consolation being they all seemed to be suffering just as much as he was.

He collapsed into bed on the Saturday at just gone ten pm and slept straight through to eight the next morning when he was woken by Fliss softly kissing him awake. He knew what she wanted, and happily obliged and once they were both spent and slightly sweaty from a particularly energetic sex session, they both showered and after a breakfast of Waffles and fruit, spent the rest of the morning browsing the IKEA website for a bed for Mary. They then headed over to Bill and Verity’s for the usual dinner before they’d all collapsed in bed at Fliss’ after watching a film together.

 Monday morning brought the usual routine, shower, breakfast, kiss Fliss goodbye, drop Mary at school, head to work, check the list of active jobs for the week, start one of said active jobs, pause for a mid-morning snack from the coffee shop, resume work. All standard stuff, so it was a little surprising when the routine of the day was broken.

“Frank?”

Frank popped his head up from the deck of the boat where he’d been working on the steering column and looked at Fliss who was stood in the open entrance to the workshop.

“Hey…” he smiled, “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but…”

Because he was, he was always happy to see her, he was simply surprised as they hadn’t arranged to meet for lunch like they sometimes did if she was teaching over this way. He stood up and reached for a cloth to wipe his hands on before he climbed down from the boat and as he noticed the look on her face he frowned.

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

 “I err…I got a call and I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do and I just needed to see you and…”

 “Hey, hey.” he soothed, his hands on her arms “Calm down.”

She took a deep breath as Frank glanced over to Paul, his co-worker and nodded his head to signal he was heading outside. Paul waved him away and Frank dropped an arm round Fliss’ shoulder and steered her outside into the sun and out of the view of everyone.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked her and she nodded, taking a deep breath. He could see she’d been crying and he searched her eyes with his own as she looked at him.

 “I got a phone call…from the Victim Assistance Services.” Her eyes were wide “John’s been granted the right to a Parole hearing. They’ve set the date for 23rd May, six weeks.” Frank took a deep breath, concentrating on keeping calm despite the fact he could quite happily have kicked something there and then.

 “I don’t know why I’m so shocked.” Fliss continued “I mean I always knew this would happen, but hearing that he’s finally got a date...” she looked at Frank “If he’s successful, then he could be out by the end of June and…”

“Honey, just because he’s been given the right to a hearing, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to get out.” “The woman on the phone said that there’s a better chance that it will be refused if I appeal. But if I want to do that then I’ll have to either go in person or do a written or recorded statement and I don’t know if I can…” A tear fell from her eye and Frank gently wrapped her arms around her, pulling her to him. “I stood in a courtroom last time, telling them exactly what he did to me, about how he beat me and degraded me, only to be told I that I was a liar, and that I liked it rough, that I egged him on and… I can’t….I can’t do that again Frank…”

 She was rambling into his chest and he could do nothing but pull her close and drop a kiss to her head.

“No one’s gonna make you do anything you don’t wanna.” he pulled away slightly, cupping her face in her hands.

“They’re sending me a letter.” she said “Explaining my rights and stuff in more detail.” “Want me to call Greg?” He asked, a sudden inspiration coming to him. “I know he’s a Family lawyer now but he did do some time with this type of thing a while back, if you’re happy to speak to him I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to help…”

 “I don’t know if I can.” she sniffed. “I don’t know if want him knowing every detail, I mean even you don’t know it all…” “I know.” he agreed. “And you don’t have to tell him anything to start off with, just ask his advice.” 

She sniffed gently, and looked at him. “I have to tell you don’t I?” She said softly, “All of it?”

Frank hesitated. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but if this was going the way it looked like it was going to go, he would find out sooner or later, and, as he looked at Fliss, he knew that no matter how hard it was, how shitty it was going to be to open up fully, she would need to do that herself to keep some control over the situation.

“You don’t have to do anything. But if you decide you want to, then I’ll listen.” 

He dropped a kiss to her head and pulled her back to him, gently rocking her to-and-fro as he squinted out over the harbour. 

**** Chapter 15

[y2fandom]

Spanish. — Diego Hargreeves

Summary: Diego decides to help (Y/N) after seeing her struggle with Spanish at the library.

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: Gosh it's been like, a million years since I wrote something pls go easy on me but feel free to tell me what you think feedback is always welcomed! (Also i lowkey based this of Sunrise from In The Heights so listen to it if you wanna)

I tried adding a read more but i don't have a computer so,,, yeah don't hate me if you come across this in your dash

—

Diego didn't frequent the library. He was honestly more of an action person than a sit-down-for-hours-reading person but he'd been stuck on a case and figured a little bit of background information wouldn't hurt. He'd come to find out not everything could be found out interrogating people on shady alleys. 

He just needed to use the computers, there was a very slim chance books would have the information he needed.

Diego went to turn on the machine when something stopped him. 

A groan. A deep and miserable groan followed by what sounded like thuds against wood.

Diego furrowed his eyebrows. He wouldn't have really minded if the noise hadn't come from directly in front of him. He stood up from the uncomfortable library chair to peer over the computer. 

There was a table on the other side and a lady had her forehead pressed against the wood. Diego would've thought she was asleep if he didn't witness with his own two eyes how she resumed banging her head against the table. It was a wonder how her book stayed propped while the furniture moved.

It wasn't his business, but he'd caught the cover of the book by mere chance. Spanish 101.

"¿Necesitas ayuda?" What was he doing? He just needed some information and that was it, yet here he was talking to a stranger. Selfish motivations, he told himself, I only want her to stop the noise so I can concentrate.

The lady rose her head. Her hair was disheveled from her previous attempts at becoming one with the table. She looked cute, if not a bit confused. She looked at Diego. 

He repeated his question. 

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I– sí."

Diego approached her table, slightly cringing to himself at how he looked. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in at least a week and he was dressed in all black. Not exactly a comforting sight.

"Name's Diego," he said, suddenly feeling awkward as she glanced up at him, "I saw you struggling with Spanish?" 

She nodded, a shy smile creeping on her face. "I'm (Y/N), sorry if i disturbed you with my suffering, I know it's a library and you expect silence-"

Diego chuckled. "What made you want to learn Spanish?" 

"I just wanted to learn a new language I figured it would be useful…" she trailed off, before adding under her breath, "if only it wasn't this hard."

Diego smiled. "I could help you, it's my mother tongue," or it would be, he added in his mind.

(Y/N) perked up at his suggestion. "You would do that?" 

Diego nodded, ignoring the thoughts about work and information. He could afford to help someone who needed him. Work could wait. 

She motioned for him to sit down.

"What are you having trouble with?" 

(Y/N) let out a humorless laugh. "Just about everything really."

"Do you know how to introduce yourself?" 

She bit her lip for a second before nodding, "Mi nombre es (Y/N), uh, soy (age)-" 

"Tengo."

"Right, tengo (age) años, me gusto aprender-"

"Me gusta."

She nodded, surprising Diego. He'd expected her to be annoyed or to ask for a different method.  Instead, she took his corrections in stride, applying them without any protest. "Me gusta aprender y conocer nuevas personas," 

Diego nodded. "You're very good, actually."

A pinkish tone dusted her cheeks. "You think so? I feel like I still have a long way to go and vocab is so hard-" 

"I'm a little busy right now," the way she seemed to deflate at that made him feel a pang of guilt, "but i can help you study some other time?" 

She brightened up again at the suggestion.  "Yes! That would be perfect!" 

"Do you have a number?" 

She handed him a small piece of paper after writing in it. "Call me when you can Diego." 

《 . . . 》

“No English?” 

Diego nodded. He was trying to stay serious but her shocked expression made the corners of his mouth twitch. “No ingles.” 

She whined. “But–” The look he gave her made her reconsider her wording, “pero Diego.” 

“No buts.” He gave her a look. “The best way to learn is to practice.” 

“Apesta,” she huffed. 

“Esto apesta.” he corrected, a smug smile in his face in response to her pout. 

“Bueno,” She sighed after a small silence, “I won't change your mind, right?” 

“¿Qué?”

“I won't-”

“No hablo inglés,” he deadpanned.

(Y/N) glared at him. “Tú hablas inglés." 

He smiled at her, proud that he didn't need to correct her. “Si hablo inglés.” 

“Tú eres el peor," she groaned. And he was the worst, but he didn't care if he got to make her smile and learn.

“You still like me that way,” he teased. 

Her cheeks tinted a lovely shade of pink but before he could comment on it her eyes gained a determined glint. "Quiz me." 

Diego ignored her blatant disrespect of the rules he'd set. "Are you ready?"

(Y/N) nodded. "Creo." 

"Esquina?"

"Corner."

"Tienda?" 

"Store."

"Bombilla?"

"Lightbulb."

"Are you sure?" 

She bit her lip, but nodded anyways. "I'm sure."

Diego smiled. "All correct."

(Y/N) mirrored him and smiled also, standing up in a swift motion. Yet whatever she had planned on doing was stopped by her phone ringing.

She gave him a quick glance before picking up. A few affirmative hums later she set her phone down. (Y/N)’s apologetic smile made his heart sink.

“Tengo que ir.” She seemed reluctant and it made Diego wish he had the words to convince her to stay. Instead, he said:

“Irme." 

(Y/N) huffed, but the smile threatened to return to her face. “See you later, Diego." 

And then she hugged him. Diego felt breathless for a second. She had never hugged him but she was doing it now. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. She was warm and smelled so sweet it made him want to never let go. Then, too soon it was over. (Y/N) pulled away taking the warmth with her.

She smiled up at him. “Hasta luego, Diego.” 

Diego watched her walk away.  wondering how she had managed to take with her the warmth of the embrace but not the fluttering feeling on his stomach.

《 . . . 》 

The sound of books being set on the table made Diego snap his head up. (Y/N) was wearing the biggest smile he'd seen on her and it made his stomach flutter. 

"Hola Diego," she said, her voice sweeter and lighter than usual. Every syllable made his heart do somersaults. 

"Hey."

"I have good news," she sing-songed, setting herself on the chair across him, "buenas noticias." 

Diego nodded, letting her continue. 

"He asked me out," she whisper-yelled, her eyes shining. 

Being the receiver of that look full of warmth didn't help Diego; he froze. "Wuh..?" 

(Y/N) pretended to hit her head. "Cierto," she said, "Remember I told you I had joined a class? To practice Spanish even more?" 

Diego nodded, he'd felt slightly hurt when she had announced it. It felt like he wasn't enough. But instead of saying that Diego had smirked and told her she had taken long enough. 

"Ok so, there's this guy in class, who I'm really into, his name is Marcus." The way she breathed his name felt like he was being stabbed with his own knives. "He's one of the most advanced people in the class and kind of the reason why I've wanted to improve so much in these last few weeks…" 

Diego felt like she'd just punched him on the gut. All this time a small part of him had harbored the hope she was doing so good because he was teaching her, not because she was pushing herself to be good for someone else. He looked down to his coffee before nodding at her again. 

"And now he's invited me on a date," she squealed, her smile growing bigger, "una cita." 

He nodded again. "That's, uh, that's really cool." 

Her smile softened. "¿Eres bien?"

"Estas." He corrected teasingly. Diego nodded. "Estoy cansado. I've been, uh, working late this last few days." 

Her mouth parted in a "o" shape, the same way it did any time he mentioned his vigilante work. (Y/N) looked at him with a serious gentleness that reminded him of how Grace looked at him when he was younger. "You need to take better care of yourself, Diego, please." 

How could he say no to her pleading eyes? Diego nodded. Getting ready to start their study session when his radio made a hissing noise. He glanced to (Y/N) and found her already looking at him. She nodded him to go. 

“It's important.” she reassured him in a hasty hug. "We can study later, go save em." 

He wanted to hate the way her voice made him giddy, he wanted to hate how he did a better job this time to make her proud of him, he wanted to hate that she had a date; but he couldn't. Diego was happy for her.

《 . . . 》

Diego waited in the agreed meeting spot. He cringed at himself at how fast he'd arrived, (Y/N) wasn't even there yet. He wanted to convince himself he wasn't far from the area but in reality, it was just that something seemed off. (Y/N)s voice had wavered a little when she'd called. 

The sound of a parking car caught his attention and he looked at it until someone came out of it. (Y/N).

His heart’s first instinct was to leap and his stomach burst in a million butterflies. She looked stunning. Diego firmly believed she looked good in anything but the way her outfit made her look almost made his jaw touch the ground. That was before he noticed her expression.

She smiled sadly at him, her watery eyes reflecting the lights of the street. It was almost like she could see him realize. 

“Hey.” 

“Are you okay?” Diego asked, concern thickly coating his tone.

(Y/N) went to nod but stopped herself. She opened her mouth and then closed it again.

Diego reached for her, engulfing her in a hug. “You can tell me."

(Y/N) was silent for a second and then, "how do you say pain?" 

Diego felt like she had a hand on his heart and she was slowly squeezing. "Dolor." 

"Tonight?"

"Esta noche."

She hesitated. "Stood up?"

Anger started to simmer underneath Diego's skin. "Plantada?" 

(Y/N) nodded against his chest. She look him in the eyes. the way the streetlight caught her tears made all the anger evaporate and be replaced by anguish. Who could've done something so rude to her?

She must've been able to read his expression because she said, "Marcus, he didn't show up." 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

She laughed a little but there was no mirth behind the sound. "It's okay, it's not your fault." She sniffed, not bothering to pretend she wasn't crying. "It's lame but it hurts because I wanted him to love me—"

"Perhaps I do…"

Her eyes widened. "Diego?"

"Lo siento, (Y/N). I have feelings for you and i know it's not the time but I just wanted to tell you because it hurts seeing you feel unloved and-"

And she kissed him. Just a small, almost-on-the-lips-but-not-quite peck. (Y/N) giggled at his shocked face. 

"I like you, Diego."

Diego stuttered trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling at the moment. Nothing seemed to come out. Instead, he leaned over her and kissed her forehead. 

"It's guh-getting cold, let's get you home."

[womenstan]

I See You When You Run From The Light (within your eyes) - Chapter 3

Ao3 Title : The end of the line Chapter :

When he woke up, the first thing Robbe felt was warmth. It was all-enveloping, seeping through his every muscle. He felt so relaxed and at peace that he found himself wishing he’d never have to get out of bed. Just lay there forever wrapped up in the covers that were hugging him close. He snuggled a little deeper, trying to get a hold of the covers to bring them closer to his body, only to lay his hand on something far too hard to be silk.

Robbe’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he tried patting the surface, trying to understand what was thrown over his stomach, but feeling far too lazy to open up his eyes and be attacked by the sun rays.

“Why are you feeling up my arm?” A voice chuckled, deep, next to his ear.

Robbe startled, opening both his eyes at once, only to lay his eyes on the blonde body next to him. Sander, of course . He’d forgotten they’d both gone back to his place after the party last night, Sander insisting until Robbe caved under his adorable mimics.

Laughing, Robbe switched to softly caressing Sander’s arms, making him smile softly. “Royal secret. If I told you, they’d have to kill you.” He said, trying to sound serious, but ending up barely containing his laughter.

Sander snorted, playing along. “They? Do you have body guards then?”

“Oh yes, only the best ones in the whole country. From the King’s own personal army!”

Sander smirked, in that way that told you he was about to crack a joke he was particularly proud of. He lifted his hand up, bringing it on Robbe’s biceps, “Good, there’s no way you’d be able to defend yourself with such small arms anyways.”

Robbe scoffed indignantly, swatting Sander’s hand away. “Me? Small arms? I’ll show you small arms”, Robbe said, before launching himself on top of Sander, trying to immobilize him. Sander laughed, pushing back. They kept pushing at each other for a while until Robbe decided to show off a little.

In one swift motion, he got one leg over Sander’s hips, effectively straddling him and preventing him from moving away. Sander let out a small gasp of surprise and Robbe used that momentary confusion as an opportunity to grab both his wrists and pin them down to the mattress.

Chest heaving, Robbe smiled, lowering himself over Sander, pressing his arms further into the covers. Sander was panting too, even more so than Robbe was.

“Still think I’m too weak to defend myself?” Robbe teased, proudly.

While Robbe had been expecting more teasing, Sander’s face softened and he relaxed his body under Robbe’s. “I think you’re perfect.”

The fondness in Sander’s voice took Robbe by surprise and, for a moment, he wasn’t sure how to respond. If it’d been anyone else… but it wasn’t. This was Sander and he was like this, always affectionate and saying things like this without realizing what they sounded like.

So, Robbe laughed, brushing the remark aside with a soft ‘idiot’, which only made Sander’s smile widden. He rolled off of him, laying back on the bed and sighing deeply.

“I don’t want to get up, like, ever.” Turning his head towards Sander, he added, “Can we just stay here forever?”

Much to Robbe’s confusion, Sander shook his head. “No way”

Getting up on one elbow and turning his whole body towards Sander, Robbe asked, “What? Why not?”

Sander didn’t answer at first, throwing his feet off the bed and onto the floor. He got up and turned towards Robbe expectantly.  When he didn’t hear any sound coming from Robbe, Sander threw his hands up in exasperation, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“ Because , Robin, I’m going to make you the best breakfast you’ve ever had”

Robbe hesitated, chuckling slightly in case it’d been a joke, but Sander seemed dead serious, extending an arm towards Robbe.

“Allez, come”

Robbe sighed, putting his hand in Sander’s and letting himself be tugged up. “Sander…”

Robbe’s whining didn’t deter Sander however, as he led them to the kitchen.

“Ok, get me a pan, some bread and, hm… Ah! Cheese” Sander said, dropping Robbe’s hand in favour of feeling around on the counter to find the stove.

Robbe squinted his eyes at him, slightly worried this wasn’t going to end well. “Sander… Can you even… Like, since you can’t…?”

Sander turned towards Robbe. “Since I can’t see? I’m twenty years old, Robbe, I’ve used a stove before. Don’t worry, just get me the ingredients, you’ll see.”

Still uncertain, Robbe walked slowly towards the cabinets, bringing one over to Sander.

“Ok, I’m going to trust you Sander, but if you burn down the apartment, I’m telling Milan it was your fault” Robbe added, only half-jokingly.

Sander waved him off, before starting the stove.

After a while, Robbe caught onto what Sander was making him.

“Croques? Really? Is that even breakfast food?”

Sander tutted him disapprovingly. “Robbe, everything can be breakfast food if you eat it at breakfast.”

“I don’t think that’s how this works Sander, but whatever you say…” Robbe teased, sitting up on the counter next to where Sander was cooking.

Sander sighed, reaching for a knife and cutting the first croque in half. He took it in his left hand, reaching it out to Robbe. “Stop complaining and try this”

“I’m not even com-” Robbe began, before being interrupted by Sander quite literally shoving the croque into his mouth. He made a noise of complaint, but bit into it anyway, determined to scold Sander immediately after.

Only, as soon as he began to chew, Robbe felt his taste buds explode with joy. The flavour was perfect, the crispiness impeccable, every single bite into the food felt like a whole experience of its own. Robbe couldn’t help but let out a very satisfied hum, making Sander’s face beam with pride.

“Good, right?” He said, clearly already aware of the answer.

Robbe finished swallowing his bite before he answered, sounding bewildered. “Good? Sander, I’m convinced this is the best croque ever made”

Sander blushed a little under the compliment, dipping his head downwards. “I mean, I told you I wasn’t going to fuck this up”

Robbe smiled, extending his arm to ruffle Sander’s hair fondly. “I know, I’m sorry for doubting you. My mind is truly blown right now. I’m going to force you to come over every day to make me breakfast from now on”

Sander only raised his head, softly letting out a “Anytime”.

----------------------------------------

The rest of his weekend passed by in a happy blur, his time spent between joking around with Sander and catching up on his homework. But, as all things do, monday eventually came around the corner, and with it came university.

In all fairness, this time, something else was exceeding his dread of having to go to class: the thought of seeing Noor.

She’d been texting him all weekend, but he’d managed to ignore her easily enough by staying busy. In school though, it would be a lot harder to avoid her.

The worst thing was that he knew he’d promised Sander he would break up with Noor. And it made sense: all they did lately was argue and get mad at each other. So, the problem wasn’t that Robbe didn’t think they should break up, but rather that he would do literally anything to avoid confrontation.

He hated it more than anything else. He didn’t want to hurt Noor, although he supposed ignoring all of her messages and calls was probably also hurting her. If he’d listen to himself, he would simply fire her a breakup text to get it over with, but he wasn’t that shitty.

So, while he was trying to gather the courage to walk up to her and get this over with, his plan was to avoid seeing her at all cost. The good thing about them being together for a while was that he pretty much knew her schedule by now, so he could try to take alternate paths to his classes or hang-out in different spots during his breaks.

It wasn’t exactly convenient, but it wouldn’t be for long anyway. Robbe was going to break up with Noor soon enough and then everything would go back to usual. Or, well, almost everything.

At least, that’s what he told himself Monday, as he had to take a five minutes long detour to get to his first class just so he wouldn’t run into Noor, who had a class next to him.

Coincidentally, it’s also what he told himself Tuesday. He was going to hang out with the guys in the cafeteria for lunch, as they had a common break. Only, as he’d made his way towards the cafeteria, he’d seen Noor exiting the girl’s bathroom and walking in the same direction. He’d quickly fired a text to the boys with a dumb excuse about having forgotten a textbook at home and ran the other way. He ate outside.

On Wednesday, Robbe had been determined to do it. He’d even drafted a little ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech the night before. So, he was ready, right? Except, he’d barely made two steps in Noor’s direction before he was stopped by Yasmina who needed him now , and ‘ no, Robbe, it can’t wait ’.

Turns out one of her friends was into Aaron - which, really? Aaron? - and they needed Robbe to subtly figure out if Aaron could be interested too.

“Yasmina, it’s Aaron . As long as she’s got two eyes and a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure he’ll be up for it.” Robbe sighed, trying not to appear as aggravated as he was. Seriously, did she need to have such a shit timing?

That led him to Thursday, at which point Robbe was almost convinced the universe was against this break up. He’d waited for her before his first class, but to no avail, as she didn’t even show up.

They had one break in common that day, around 1pm, but Thursday afternoons were reserved to hang out with Sander, and Robbe was not about to cancel on him just so he could break up with Noor. So, Robbe decided it would have to wait until friday, as he threw his bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the library where he knew Sander was waiting.

Robbe stopped at the tiny student coffee shop on his campus, ordering for both Sander and him. While he waited in line, he quickly shot Sander a text message to let him know he was done with his class and on his way to him, smiling dumbly at Sander’s answering ‘:D’.

He’d been so busy between school, first trying to avoid Noor, and then trying to find her, that he’d barely had time to text Sander since the weekend, let alone see him. He was glad they could still honour their Thursday tradition, just the two of them hanging out without having to worry about anything - or anyone - else.

The barista handed Robbe the two cups and Robbe hurried to the table where he knew Sander would already be sitting, all of his books and material spread over the table. Sander would probably be hunched over some paper, drawing, that concentrated look on his face. He would slightly stick his tongue out, sitting in between his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed and his hair falling in front of his face. Robbe had to admit it was quite the sight.

At first, Robbe had wondered how Sander could be an artist, seeing as he was blind. He’d always just assumed blind people had no way to draw, since they couldn’t see the paper, the colours or the drawing itself. Sander had simply snorted at that, before patiently explaining his method to Robbe.

He used mostly textured art, like pastel or paint. He’d draw with one hand, alternating between tracing the surface of whatever he wanted drawn and the surface of the paper with the other one. Robbe’s curiosity had pushed him to ask for a demonstration, and Sander had gladly obliged.

It was a fascinating process, and the respect and appreciation Robbe already had for Sander’s talent grew tenfold in the space of a single drawing. He’d just looked at Sander, moving seamlessly across the paper and found himself speechless. The only thought that came to him was that Sander was clearly in his element, that he belonged to the arts.

Still now, every time he’d had the privilege of catching Sander drawing, he’d been overwhelmed with this feeling of pride and warmth, watching entire worlds take form on the blank pages under Sander’s touch.

Sometimes, Robbe found himself thinking that Sander had the ability to make everything he touched turn into art. From the dull beige paper cup of coffee that could rival Albert Anker’s Coffee Drinking once it was held in between Sander’s fingers, to Robbe’s own pale skin that shined bright pink under Sander’s soft strokes.

Or the way he was stroking his hand through his hair right as Robbe walked up to him, pulling it back off of his forehead. That was true art.

Robbe shook the thought out of his head as he scraped back the chair next to Sander and sat down, slowly pushing Sander’s coffee to his hand.

“Robin! Finally!” Sander exclaimed enthusiastically, making Robbe chuckle.

“Missed me?” Robbe teased, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Obviously,” Sander answered, sending him a beaming smile

Robbe laughed, getting his books out of his bag and carefully placing them next to Sander’s stuff on the table.

“What are you drawing?” He asked Sander, trying to peek into his open sketchbook.

Sander smirked, closing his sketchbook before Robbe could properly distinguish the shapes.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, huh?” He teased, making Robbe drop his head to the side in fond exasperation.

“Yes,” Robbe sighed, “I would like to.” He tried to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t help the smile slowly etching its way up his face.

“How badly?” Sander asked, his growing smile indicating he had a joke ready to go.

Robbe rolled his eyes, sighing loudly. “As bad as-”

“Robbe fucking Izjermans!”

Oh . Oh no .

Robbe whipped his head towards the voice, while Sander visibly startled on his chair, dropping his smile instantly.

Robbe mentally groaned when he saw he’d been right about who this voice belonged to. From the library’s entrance, Noor was storming his way, a visible scowl on her face.

Why was it that when Robbe was trying to find her, she was nowhere to be found, but as soon as he’d wanted a moment of peace, she suddenly showed up? What had Robbe done to get such bad karma?

“Noor,” Robbe sighed, “What are you doing here?”

Noor raised an eyebrow, coming to a halt in front of Robbe, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“What do you think I’m doing here? You’ve been ignoring all of my texts and I couldn’t find you anywhere!” Noor half-screamed, earning them a few dirty looks from nearby students.

Before Robbe could answer, Sander scoffed loudly.

“What? You got a problem?” Noor asked him, clearly offended by his reaction.

Sander sighed, bracing himself on the table as he got up to properly face Noor.

“Look, I get that you’re pissed, but Robbe dumped you. He doesn’t owe you anything.” Sander said, keeping his voice levelled, although Robbe could hear the hidden layer of frustration.

It took Robbe’s brain a few seconds to properly realize what Sander had just said, and when he did, it was already too late.

Noor made a surprised noise in the back of her throat, halfway through anger and disbelief.

“Dumped me? What the hell are you talking about?” Noor said, chuckling humourlessly. “Don’t mistake your dreams for reality, Anders.”

Robbe stood up at once, feeling all the blood drain from his face.

“Noor, come on, let’s talk in private.”

Robbe made a move to step towards Noor, but Sander’s arm shot up in front of him, barely missing his face by a few centimeters.

“Robbe didn’t break up with you?” Sander asked, turned in the general direction Noor was in.

Robbe didn’t know what hurt more, the anger in Sander’s voice or the look of pure disappointment on his face.

“Sander, look,” Robbe began, desperately trying to diffuse the whole situation.

Noor’s laugh cut him off, loud and obnoxious, clearly meant to irritate Sander. It seemed to work wonders, as Sander’s jaw clenched in response.

“I don’t know what kind of fucked up fantasies you’ve got going on in your head, Sander, but this is the real world. I guess you might be too crazy to understand what that is.” Noor spit out.

The words hit Sander the same way a punch would have. He stumbled a little backwards, dropping his arm. He turned around, hastily threw all of his stuff inside his bag in a jumble, picked his bag up and walked away without a word.

“Sander!” Robbe yelled, cringing at the desperation he could hear in his own voice. “Sander, wait!”

Robbe started putting his papers back into his own bag, determined to run after Sander, but Noor’s fingers settled around his arm, pulling him back softly.

“Come on, Robbe. Let him be, he’s not good for you anyway.” Noor said, smiling as if Robbe’s world wasn’t falling apart in front of him.

Robbe gave a sharp tug on his arm, freeing himself from Noor’s hold. He shook his head at her, feeling rage boiling up inside of him and threatening to overflow.

“You know what, Noor? We’re through. Over, done, finished!” Robbe yelled, too angry to find it in himself to care that the entire library was witness to their spectacle.

Robbe threw his bag over his shoulder and stormed towards the entrance, where Sander’s back had disappeared barely a few seconds ago.

“What the fuck, Robbe? Do you not love me anymore?” Noor asked, her voice high-pitched and frail.

Robbe sighed, turning back around to face her one last time.

“You’re cruel, Noor. You’re just cruel.” He said, voice tired.

He didn’t wait around to hear her try to convince him he was wrong and that Sander had somehow manipulated him, instead choosing to take off after Sander.

Robbe’s heart was beating so fast that he feared it might fly straight out of his chest. His mind was immediately going to the worst scenarios, telling him Sander would never forgive him, that it was over, that there was no point going after him... But Robbe knew better than that.

He knew that Sander was probably the best thing in his life right now and that he wasn’t going to let him walk away.

So, out he ran, the heavy library doors shutting behind him with a loud ‘thump’ .

Robbe looked around frantically, trying to spot a patch of blond hair in the sparse crowd of students, but to no avail. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging a little at the strands in frustration.

That’s when he heard a loud crash coming from the boys’ washroom, and something clicked inside his head. He ran towards the room, which warranted him a couple side-looks, but his attention was focused on one sole thing: getting to Sander.

Inside, there didn’t appear to be anyone. All the stalls seemed closed, and the general area was empty. As Robbe stepped further in, he heard a small sniffling sound that broke his heart at once.

He put his bag down against the wall and walked along the stalls, softly pushing the doors open. When he reached the third to last one of the row, the door didn’t open, locked from the inside.

Robbe sighed softly. “Sander?”

The sniffling stopped.

“Sander, please. I just want to explain.”

Nothing but silence.

Robbe leaned his forehead on the door with a small thud.

“I’m sorry, Sander. I really am. I… I should have told you,” Robbe began, unsuccessfully trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “I did mean to break up with her.”

A scof came from the stall, turning into a sob halfway through, and Robbe wondered if there was any piece of his heart left to shatter.

“Sander…” Robbe whispered, worry seeping through his tone. “I’m not lying. I spent the week looking for her too. I couldn’t do it over text, that’s just… I’m not an asshole. Or, trying not to be.” Robbe explains, “I broke up with her just now. What she said to you…” Letting out a frustrated sigh, Robbe shakes his head at the memory. “She’s so horrible. I’m so sorry Sander”

“Don’t be.” Sander’s voice came from the stall, muffled. “She’s right,” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound.

“Sander, no. She isn’t.” Robbe said, a little destabilized at Sander’s sudden lack of self-confidence.

He heard Sander breathe in deeply inside the stall, and Robbe prepared himself for the worst.

“I’m fucking crazy, Robbe, ok? I’m bipolar.” Sander yelled, but he didn’t sound angry. All Robbe could hear was pain, and fear. Just so much fear. “So, yeah, she’s right. She’s right and you should probably go before I fuck up your life too.”

The silence that hung between them after Sander’s declaration was heavy. Robbe felt suffocated under the weight, and he could only begin to try to imagine how Sander was feeling.

“Sander,” He said, keeping his voice low but firm. “Let me in.”

Time stood still as Robbe waited for Sander to make a decision. Seconds passed by, maybe even minutes, Robbe wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, forehead against the door.

Slowly, he stepped back, prepared to argue his way into the stall, when he heard the lock slide open. The door didn’t budge, but Robbe wasn’t mistaken. This was Sander’s way of letting him in, both literally and figuratively.

Robbe took a deep breath, slowly pushing the door open. Sander was leaning on the opposite wall, head hung low and turned away from Robbe, in an attempt to hide his distress.

Robbe slowly closed the door behind him, locking it, before turning back to Sander. The stall wasn’t big and with the two of them, the space was definitely cramped. Robbe took that to his advantage, merely raising his arms to be able to graze Sander’s shoulders.

Sander stiffened, but didn’t move away. Robbe took that as an encouragement and, little by little, wrapped his arms around Sander’s now-trembling form. As soon as Sander’s chest collided with Robbe’s, Robbe felt Sander’s entire body give up on him.

Sander hid his face in Robbe’s shoulder, body limp in Robbe’s arms. As for Robbe, he had one arm caressing Sander’s back in large, circular motions, while the other was stroking his hair softly. He could feel Sander shake through his sobs, but Robbe ignored the urge to make him stop crying.

Sander needed to let it out, and Robbe would be there for him, even if it killed him to see Sander suffering.

Robbe whispered a steady stream of ‘it’s ok’, ‘I’m here’ and ‘let it out’ into Sander’s ear, and slowly but surely, Sander relaxed against him and his sobbing subdued.

When Robbe felt like Sander had calmed back down, he took his chance.

“Sander, you’re not crazy.” Robbe started, making Sander snort humorlessly. “You’re not. Having bipolar doesn’t make you crazy, Sander. And it’s definitely not going to make me go away.”

Robbe tugged Sander back, just enough to look at him as he said, “You’re not some kind of monster, Sander, and you sure as hell aren’t ruining my life. You’re like, the best person in my life right now.”

Sander’s eyes glistened with tears that threatened to fall, but the corner of his lips lifted up a little at that.

“I don’t care what happened between you and Britt, and I care even less about what Noor thinks of you. I know you, and I know that you’re an amazing, caring and talented person that I want in my life for as long as you want to be.” Robbe said, all at once, like the words were spilling out of his mouth the same way Sander’s tears were spilling out of his eyes. Out of his control, filled to the brim with emotions, but, oh, so liberating.

Sander stayed silent, a thunderstorm of emotions hidden in the quiet. Robbe was suddenly glad Sander couldn’t see him, because he was pretty sure his face looked like an open book, and he wasn’t ready to confront what was written on it yet.

He didn’t know why exactly, couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this moment specifically, about Sander’s stare, but it felt like something had shifted between them. Like there would be a before this, and an after this.

Robbe smiled at Sander, stroking his hair one last time before unwrapping his arms from around him.

Sander laughed, wiping at his wet cheeks in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we had this conversation in the school’s bathroom.”

Robbe chuckled, shaking his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sander. I have all of my heart-to-hearts in school bathrooms!”

Sander raised an eyebrow, a teasing look on his face. “The empty paper toilet dispensers and the vague urine smells really do it for you, huh?”

Robbe tried to suppress his smile, keeping his tone serious. “Oh, yeah. Big time!”

Sander wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Robbe responded by giving him a light push on the arm. They made their way out of the washroom, while Robbe avoided the stares of curious students wondering what all the fuss had been about (and probably questioning the tear streaks on both of their faces…).

When they reached the front doors, Robbe hesitated a moment, holding Sander back with a hand to his forearm. Sander stopped, turning back in Robbe’s direction.

“Do you maybe wanna go hang out at my flat?” Robbe asked, cringing at how fast his heartbeat had gotten at the simple sentence. He never got anxious when he asked the boys to hang around, although he hadn’t done so in a long time. So, why was it that whenever he had to ask Sander to hang out, Robbe’s hands got clammy and his heartbeat increased tenfold?

Sander just snorted in response, which only served to make Robbe even more apprehensive.

“You scared me! Of course, I do.” Sander said, now smiling brightly at Robbe.

Robbe wanted to be a little mad at Sander making fun of his hesitation, but he couldn’t help but beam in response, a comfortable warmth settling in his stomach.

They walked to the flatshare, arms locked at the crook of their elbows (if anyone asked, Robbe would say it was to guide Sander, despite them both knowing that Sander didn’t actually need it).

It was a sunny day, and it would have been too warm for Sander’s leather jacket had there not been a chilly breeze flowing through the air. Robbe wasn’t much of a fan of warm days, but when he saw the way the sunlight hit Sander’s face, perfectly illuminating his side profile of a golden hue, he figured he’d like them a lot more from now on.

Robbe couldn’t make himself look away from Sander’s face, intoxicated by the way it looked under the daylight. From the curve of his nose, to the way his eyes glistened, everything about Sander’s face had Robbe in a trance-like state.

He did eventually turn away, after he’d stumbled over a crack in the pavement and Sander had made fun of him, asking ‘who’s the blind one, huh?’ Sander had only been teasing, but Robbe figured it might be smarter for them to have at least a pair of eyes on the road.

Once they reached the apartment, Robbe didn’t even have to unlock the door to know that everyone was home. The sounds of cheers and laughter came through the door and resonated all the way to the staircase, warming Robbe’s heart instantly.

He barely had time to open the door and usher Sander in, before he was attacked by a swarm of bodies.

“Milan, you’re kind of crushing me” Robbe croaked out, the strength of Milan’s hug pressing all of his internal organs together painfully.

Milan loosened his arms immediately and stepped back, an apologetic smile on his face.

“So, what? Robbe gets all the love and I get none?” Sander asked, with a small (irresistible) pouth.

“Sander! Of course you do, come here!” Milan exclaimed, practically jumping in Sander’s arms. Zoë followed suit immediately, eyeing Senne, who just shrugged before joining in. Robbe laughed, moving to take his shoes off before they could attack him again.

“Come on guys, don’t suffocate him to death!” Robbe said, which got him a snort from Sander in response.

“You’re just jealous Robin,” Sander said, winking. The group hug slowly dissolved, as Milan let out a ‘ooooh burn!’ that made Robbe shake his head, amused.

“Sure, I am. It’s not like I’ve hugged you a thousand times before already” Robbe teased, while everyone returned to whatever they were doing in the kitchen.

Sander bent down to untie his shoes, shaking his head. “See, that’s precisely it. I’ve got you addicted”

Robbe laughed, sending a small ‘you wished’ Sander’s way, seemingly unaffected, despite his heart that skipped a beat in fear at Sander’s words.

They navigated to Robbe’s room, where Sander immediately laid down on the bed in a star shape.

Robbe went to his desk and took his books out of his bag, while Sander groaned in the background.

“Sander? You ok there?” Robbe asked, stifling a laugh, his back to Sander.

Sander sighed, hard. “Yeah, but I hope you realize that I’m never leaving your bed again. I’ve melted into the mattress.”

Robbe threw him a glance, seeing Sander had somehow snaked his way under the cover.

“Suit yourself, just don’t steal all the blankets,” Robbe answered, to which Sander scoffed.

“I would never do that! I’ll have you know that I’m a perfect blanket gentleman.”

Robbe hummed, sitting down to start working on his essay. He was quickly bored though, and with Sander in his room, Robbe didn’t really feel like slaving away doing homework. He turned to face Sander, only to find him fast asleep, his mouth open and squished against the pillow.  

Robbe chuckled under his breath, getting up to take a closer look. Once he got within reach of Sander, he slowly caressed his hair. The gesture made Sander frown a little, before he buried himself closer to the pillow, sighing happily.

Robbe smiled fondly, before moving away and to the end of the bed. He still didn’t feel like working on his homework, so he grabbed his controller and decided to game until Sander woke up from his impromptu nap.

After his third loss in a row, Robbe threw his controller aside and figured he was too out of it to keep playing. Looking at his phone, he saw that Sander had been out for a little over thirty minutes, so Robbe figured he might as well join him.

Taking his hoodie off, he walked to the other side of the bed in his shirt and jeans. He laid down next to Sander, who had turned to face Robbe’s way at some point in the past half hour.

When he was awake, Sander’s face always transpired a panoply of emotions. Even his eyes would glisten, darken and light up in the span of a single conversation. Robbe had always thought that blind people’s eyes wouldn’t hold much emotions, but he was clearly wrong. There were more emotions in a single one of Sander’s pupils than there was in most people’s entire face.

Robbe was pretty sure that’s what made him so fascinated with Sander’s face (because, let’s admit it, he was absolutely obsessed with it). He’d read somewhere that eyes were the window to someone’s soul, and while he was more inclined to think it was pure bullshit at first, since he’d met Sander, he’d come to understand the meaning of those words.

Robbe brushed a strand of hair that had fallen over Sander’s face, softly, trying his best not to disturb Sander’s peaceful sleep. Robbe didn’t know how to describe the swelling that overtook his chest as he watched Sander’s body raise and fall with each breath he took. He’d never felt this before, this peaceful yet gut-wrenching feeling that was filling up his heart.

There were a lot of feelings that Robbe had never felt before he’d met Sander. He didn’t know what it was about Sander that provoked those strong, undecipherable feelings that swallowed Robbe whole, but… He would be lying if he said he hated them. Whatever was causing this, Robbe didn’t mind. He liked Sander and he liked feeling like this, giddy in a way alcohol could never provide, yet rested in a way no amount of sleep could bring about.

He rested his hand in between his body and Sander’s, laying his head down on the pillow. He could feel Sander’s hot breath hit his cheeks from how close they were laying, but it didn’t annoy him. On the contrary, it made Robbe feel safe, content even, as he slowly drifted in and off of sleep.

His state of semi-slumber was interrupted when he felt Sander stirring awake next to him. Sander’s hand stretched and fell down on Robbe’s chest, which made Sander startle.

“Robbe?” He asked, voice still full of sleep.

Robbe hummed in answer.

“What did I just hit?” Sander questioned, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt around Robbe’s chest for clues.

“Chest” Robbe answered, chuckling at the concentrated look on Sander’s face.

“Ahhhh, all good then. Sorry for that,” Sander said, giving Robbe’s chest one last apologetic pat before rising to sit up. Robbe followed.

“Hey, what time is it?” Sander asked, sounding a little stressed all of a sudden.

Robbe looked around for his phone, finding it near his desk. “Hmmm, just about four, why?”

Sander rose to his feet so fast that Robbe feared he might fall down when he started swaying. “Shit! I have to be back home by four thirty to babysit, I’m so sorry. I promised my mom and-”

Robbe interrupted Sander, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Sander, it’s chill. Don’t worry”

Sander nodded, but didn’t seem convinced, as he chewed on his lips. He mumbled something under his breath, too low for Robbe to hear.

“What?” Robbe prodded, curious.

Sander sighed, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe I spent our time together sleeping. I’m so sorry, Robbe.”

Robbe sighed as well, but a little more tenderly. “Sander, I swear it’s fine. I slept too. Besides, we can always hang out tomorrow, once we’re done with classes, right?”

That suggestion seemed to enchant Sander, whose eyes immediately lit up. He snapped his fingers as if he’d just had an illumination, a smile spreading on his face.

"What? You look like you’ve just had a moment of genius.” Robbe teased.

“Even better! I’m going out with friends from uni tomorrow night.” Sander said, excitedly.

Robbe couldn’t help but feel his face fall at that. “Oh. Ok, I get it”

Sander shook his head. “No! No, you don’t. I meant to ask you this earlier, but forgot…” He took a breath, as if steeling himself. “Would you want to meet them? Tomorrow?”

Robbe was stunned into silence, staring at Sander, his mouth hanging open. Sander wanted to present him to his actual friends? He wanted to include Robbe in other parts of his life?

“How is that even a question? Of course I do!” Robbe said, getting just as excited about the idea as Sander.

“Yeah?” Sander added, his smile ever growing.

“Yes!” Robbe said, adding, “Since when do you even have other friends?”

Sander stuck his tongue out at Robbe. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Robin.”

“Thank you, I think so too”

Sander grabbed his stuff after that, promising he’d send Robbe the address as soon as he’d be home. Robbe suggested walking Sander to the tram, but Sander declined, insisting he could get there on his own.

When Sander was gone, Robbe closed the door and leaned his back against it, slowly sliding to the floor. He was going to meet Sander’s actual friends. He was going to meet Sander’s actual friends! Fuck! Why had he accepted the invitation? This was such a bad idea, they were probably going to hate him and-

Groaning, Robbe lowered his head on his knees.

“Woah, there. Someone’s having a crisis,” Milan said, to which Robbe only grunted in answer.

“Come on, Robbe. What’s on your mind?” Milan asked, sitting down next to him.

“Sander invited me to meet his other university friends tomorrow night.” Robbe sighed.

Milan blinked at him, confused. “And?”

“And, I said yes!” Robbe half-screamed, exasperated by his own actions.

Milan chuckled, looking just as puzzled. “How is that a bad thing? It’s good that he wants you to meet them!”

Robbe groaned at Milan’s incomprehension. “They’re gonna hate me Milan! They’re probably all cool art kids and I’m…” He gestured vaguely towards himself, “not!”

Milan sighed, patting Robbe’s back sympathetically. “Come on, Robbe. You’re smart, interesting and super cute! There’s no way they won’t fall in love with you the second they see you.”

Robbe threw a glance Milan’s way, “Thanks Milan.”

Milan nodded, “Good luck! You’ll be great,” He said, getting up and walking away.

Robbe’s worries were far from gone, but he was glad that Milan thought so highly of him. If all else failed, he knew he’d always have the flatshare to fall back on. That was a constant Robbe was so grateful to have in his life, he didn’t think he could ever find words to express it properly.

------------------

The next day passed by so slowly that it felt painful. It’s like time had decided to mock him, by prolonging his suffering.

Robbe hadn’t registered a single word from his lectures, spending the hours looking back and forth at the clock, so much so that he feared he might end up with a torticollis by the end of the day. If the end of the day ever came, that is.

The second his last lecture of the afternoon was dismissed, Robbe had pounced on the door, practically running all the way back to his flat.

Sander had, as promised, texted him the address the night before. They were meeting at a local bar, nothing too fancy, but Robbe’s usual ‘jogging and sweater’ school attire would probably be too lowkey.

Robbe tried rummaging through his closet, throwing about half of it out before giving up.

“Milan! Milan!” He screamed, hoping Milan would be willing to help.

A second later, he popped his head into the room.

“You called for me?” He asked.

“Yes. Milan, can I please borrow something of yours for tonight? Everything I own is just… wrong” Robbe sighed, pleading Milan with his eyes.

Milan seemed to mull it over, before he threw the door wide open. “Of course you can! Come with, I’ll turn this pumpkin into a prince!”

Robbe laughed, following Milan around the house. “I’m pretty sure the pumpkin gets turned into a coach, not a prince.”

Milan stopped dead in his tracks, turning back to Robbe with a warning finger.

“Do you want my help or not?”

Robbe nodded vehemently.

“Then don’t question my Disney knowledge, Robbe! Flatmates rule #35!”

Robbe raised his hands in surrender, laughing, before Milan started back towards his own room, Robbe on his heels.

Milan did deliver on his promise, after all. Robbe was dressed in a nice long-sleeved shirt with fitted jeans, nothing too flashy, but classy enough to look like he’d put an effort into his outfit (which he, or rather Milan, had).

The bar wasn’t far from Robbe’s home, so he decided to simply walk there. He figured he could shake his nerves out on the way there, and, hopefully, be a little calmer once he’d reach his destination.

The breeze was nice, flowing through his curls. He had been smart enough to bring a jacket, in case the night grew colder as it got later. Despite the atmosphere and his precautions, Robbe couldn’t help the hammering of his heart against his ribcage. He felt even worse than he had that one time in second grade when he’d been called out in class to make a presentation about a book he’d never bothered to read.

Soon enough, he reached the bar, which seemed to be busy with customers. Robbe closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. He tried to tell himself that everything would go smoothly, that Sander’s friends would like him, and that he’d get out of this alive and with his pride intact. If the shaking in his hands was anything to go by, he wasn’t very good at convincing himself.

He sighed, shaking his hands out, before walking into the bar. A radio was playing in the background, just barely covering the noise of the chatter. Robbe walked a little further in, immediately spotting Sander in the corner, sitting at a table with three other people.

Robbe took another deep breath for good luck, and made his way to their table. All three pairs of (functional) eyes were staring at him as he walked, more curious than austere, which reassured Robbe a little.

A blonde guy was the first to signal Robbe’s arrival. “This must be the famous Robbe!”

“Yeah, hi!” Robbe said, nodding in everyone’s direction.

Sander’s whole body whipped towards Robbe when he spoke. “Robbe! You’re here! Sit, sit,”

Sander fumbled with the chair next to him, making space for Robbe to sit next to him. Robbe thanked him, sitting down, trying not to be too unsettled by the looks Sander’s friends kept throwing each other.

Sander’s right hand came to rest on Robbe’s left shoulder immediately.

“Did you find the place easily? I think it’s pretty close to your place, isn’t it?” Sander asked, with the same considerate tone he took every time he wanted to make sure Robbe was ok.

Robbe figured he could probably sense his nervousness. Hell, anyone in a five mile radius who took one look at him could probably tell he was shitting his pants.

“Yeah, it was fine, don’t worry Sander” Robbe answered, smiling.

Sander smiled as well, more to himself, but Robbe still caught it and it made him feel a little more at ease.

Only a little though, because the same boy from earlier decided to clear his throat at that moment, making both Robbe and Sander turn their head towards him abruptly.

He had both of his eyebrows raised, and a knowing smile floating on his face.

“Sooo, Robbe, what are you studying?”

The night went on pretty similarly. After the initial interrogation, Robbe stayed a bit more silent, observing how Sander interacted with his friends.

At some point, Robbe was listening to a drunken story from one of the girls, Marie, while tapping the fingers of his hand on the table. He hadn’t even noticed the nervous tic, before Sander’s hand came to rest on top of it. Robbe’s eyes were instantly drawn to their overlapping hands.

Sander squeezed once in reassurance, and it made Robbe smile. Even in social situations like these, Sander always had a way of knowing exactly how Robbe was feeling, and exactly how to make him feel better. Robbe squeezed back, before Sander slowly took his hand back.

The night wasn’t much different from Robbe and Sander’s regular nights, in that Sander acted exactly the same way he always had with Robbe. When something really funny made him laugh, he would softly knock his forehead on Robbe’s shoulder, hiding his face as he giggled. When he couldn’t remember where he’d placed his glass, he’d lightly tap Robbe’s hand with his own, a silent signal that Robbe had long learned, and Robbe would silently pass Sander’s glass over to him. And when Sander felt Robbe become too antsy, he’d place his hand on Robbe’s bouncing knee, tapping fingers or shaky hands.

Before knowing Sander, Robbe hadn’t been used to touchy people, but now that he was, he found Sander’s small, mindless gestures calming, in the same familiar way that your childhood beddings or your mama’s hugs appease you.

After a while, the blond guy, Max, sipped the last of his beer, knocking it back against the table.

“So, who wants what? This round’s on me!” Max said, already pushing to get up.

Sander stood up at once, surprising everyone at the table.

“No! I’ll go. It’s my turn with the tab, anyway.” Sander said, sounding sure of himself.

Robbe furrowed his eyebrows, but said nothing when he saw Max sit back down and cheer Sander on. Everyone passed their orders and Sander repeated them once before expertly making his way to the bartender.

“How does he navigate so well everywhere?” Robbe asked out loud, to no one particularly. Max probably assumed the question was directed to him, since he took it upon himself to answer.

“Oh, that? It’s like his little superpower. Bring him somewhere once or twice and he’ll know the place by heart.” Max said, earning a few chuckles from the girls and a curious glance from Robbe.

If Sander was so good with directions, then why did he always let Robbe guide him by the arm? Robbe had never really thought about the fact that Sander could seemingly perfectly get back home by himself, but required Robbe’s assistance in the flatshare or when they went out somewhere.

His thoughts were interrupted by Marie.

“Say, you two are pretty close, huh?” She asked, her smile telling Robbe that her question covered a hidden meaning.

“Yeah, sure, he’s a good friend.” Robbe shrugged, smiling politely.

Marie and the other girl, Anne, exchange an amused look.

“Yeah, I bet you must be really good friends,” Anne added, laughing.

Robbe’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“I don't get the joke” He said, a little annoyed.

Max sighed, like an exasperated parent. “Robbe, haven’t you noticed that Sander is a little…” He looked towards Marie, “touchy?”

Robbe frowned. “Yeah? He’s blind, touch is, like, his way of seeing.”

Max nodded. “Then, why does he only ever touch you ?”

Robbe could feel his features harden. He wasn’t dumb, he could clearly understand what Max was insinuating.

“He doesn’t.” Robbe answered, his tone sharp and severe.

Max smiled, as if he could clearly see through Robbe’s bluff. He held Robbe’s gaze.

“He does, though.”

Robbe thought back to all the times he’d been with Sander and other people. He did accept Milan’s group hugs, but even when he came over to eat at the flatshare, he wouldn’t purposefully brush his hands on Milan’s, Zoë’s or Senne’s. If they went to catch a movie with the boys, Sander would only ever lay his head on Robbe’s shoulder, curling up into his side. Even at Sander’s house, Robbe couldn’t remember Sander being so tactile with his mother or his sister. He always did stuff himself, and if he needed them, he’d call them out loud instead of touching them to get their attention the way he did with Robbe.

And tonight. Sander had kept a free seat next to him for Robbe. He’d touched Robbe, almost constantly in one way or another. But he’d never even accidentally brushed against one of his other friends. He wasn’t cold towards them, and you could see the friendship that was linking them together, but still… No touch.

If Sander was truly that tactile, then wouldn’t his childhood friend, Max, and his other uni friends notice he’s tactile as well?

So, if Sander was only ever tactile with Robbe, then why? Was it funny to him? Did Sander think he could try and see what he could do, how far he could go, before Robbe would catch up?

The befriending, the breakup, the mysterious past with Britt… Everything was making sense, now. Robbe had been played, hard. He didn’t know why, what motive Sander could possibly have to make a fool out of Robbe, but he’d succeeded.

Robbe felt angry, betrayed and ashamed. But most of all, he felt pain. He could sense his heart cracking and falling into tiny pieces, as more and more worries overtake his mind.

Whatever he had left of pride was holding back his tears from rolling down his cheeks. He got up, grabbed his bag and coat.

“I... I have to go.” Robbe told the group of three, hurrying towards the entrance like his life depended on it (and at the moment, he felt like it truly did).

He slammed the door open, stepping outside as the first tear streamed down his face. He tried to wipe it away, but it only got replaced with even more tears. He walked down the small steps and leaned against the wall, his head tilted to the sky.

He was furious. He wanted nothing more than to go back in there, make a scene and demand explanations from Sander. But even more than that, he was humiliated. It wasn’t the first time he’d been made fun of, but this time, it hurt a lot more and a lot deeper. What he felt with Sander…

It’s true what they say, he supposes. Ignorance truly is bliss.

Robbe heard the doorbell of the bar ring, but he didn’t pay attention to it.

“Robbe? Robbe!” a voice shouted from his right.

Sander.

“Fuck off, Sander.” Robbe said, getting ready to walk away, but Sander was quicker in grabbing his arm. Robbe sighed tiredly, too exhausted and hurt to fight. “Let go,”

Sander shook his head firmly.

“No. No, Robbe, come on. I don’t know what they told you, but whatever it was, it’s definitely not what you think.” Sander pleaded.

“I don’t care, Sander. Whatever little game you were playing, I hope you had your fun. I’m out.” Robbe said, trying, unsuccessfully, to shake his arm out of Sander’s grasp. “Let me go, Sander!”

“Robbe, Robbe, listen to me. Please. I wasn’t playing any game, I swear, I can explain. Please.” Sander was practically begging, and Robbe could see tears forming in his eyes. He turned his head away.

“Let go,” was all Robbe said, trying to appear cold and composed.

Sander loosened his grip, and Robbe thought he’d finally listened.

A second later, Sander’s hands were cupping his face. Another second later, and Sander’s lips were on his.

Robbe was frozen in place at first, his brain unable to process everything that was happening.

The warmth from Sander’s hands on Robbe’s cold, wet, cheeks. The warmth of Sander’s mouth against his own. The explosion of heat pooling in his stomach. The explosion in his own brain.

Sander was… Kissing him?

Robbe brought his hands up to Sander’s shoulders, pushing him back. He felt a little bad when he saw Sander stumble backwards, not realizing how hard he had pushed him away.

“Sander… I…” Robbe started, unable to form a single coherent thought.

“I like you, Robbe. A lot. A lot more than other people. So, that’s why. I wasn’t playing you.” Sander said, a sad smile dancing on his lips.

Robbe took a small, tentative step back. He could feel his body shaking, badly, as if the temperature had suddenly dropped well under zero.

“Sander… I don’t… I’m not…” He swallowed painfully, “I don’t like you, not like that .”

The word was said with a bit more venom than Robbe had been shooting for, and he could see the second it hit Sander.

Sander’s face crumpled, as he whispered a small, desperate, “What?”

Robbe tried to breathe in, but even his breathing was shaky. “I’m so sorry, Sander. I’m… I have to go. I just… I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Robbe threw Sander one last apologetic look, turning on his heels and walking away.

The last thing he heard were Sander’s first sobs. His own followed soon after.

As soon as Robbe turned the corner, he let his tears flow freely as he took off in a run. He didn’t even know where he was going, or where he was, but he didn’t care.

His whole world had just fallen apart and the most important person in his life was gone.

[jess-the-vampire]

The Demon Next Door, Chapter 9

Previous / Next

-

A week had passed since marco had heard the "Conversation", between Tom and Star.

And while janna's theories were in the back of his mind, that wasn't his main focus.

No, his main focus was to keep being a good friend and not act like he had just heard something personal and private that he wasn't supposed to know about. He needed to get back into spirits, hang out with his friends, and be as supportive as possible for the two of them until they were comfortable talking to him about whatever it was they weren't sure about mentioning to him.

They were his friends after all, he didn't want to lost them due to being a terrible friend.

But while he was ignoring janna's ideas, as anything janna claimed was really never true, and as much as he tried to keep happy, he still somehow felt irked and he didn't fully understand why. He was trying to come up with reasons, maybe he felt his friend liked each other more then him? Well he knew that wasn't true, tom almost always seemed to hang out with marco when he had the chance, so did star.

Maybe he felt this way because tom was really succeeding with his crush and marco wasn't? After all marco already had gotten upset about tom being so good at karate when it took years for him to even break a single board.

But somehow it didn't feel that way, marco had already squashed that bug, especially when he realized how much it hurt tom.

So what was it?

What was it really that was bothering him so much?

"Marco? Hey dude, did you hear me? I got the tickets!", tom waved his hand in front of marco's face, waking him up from his thoughts, Tom was smiling and laughing at him, playful as ever. "Dude, you alright? You're so spaced out", marco shook his head, he really needed to start paying attention to his best friends, especially if he wanted to not come off like he was suspicious or anything.

Thankfully tom didn't seem too bothered, probably chalking it up to marco thinking about school or jackie.

"Uh sorry, yeah, that's really awesome tom, i can't wait to go with you!", marco was actually genuine about that, he was pretty excited to go with tom. He'd never been to a concert in person and he was sure if he did he'd go with star, having a guy friend who liked the same band was not something he expected to happen so quickly. And they were going to hang out and sing together? God it was the best thing marco had ever gotten in awhile.

Well, hopefully it would at least.

"Me too, i've never been to a concert before...", he said, voice wandering, "I never really got to y'know "Hang out" with people much back home. So...I'm actually really kinda excited to just do stuff like this with a friend.". He smirked a little, "Besides, maybe after we can go get some tacos and smoothies and just hang out for a bit...maybe i can sleep over at your house if you want?".

That sounded...amazing.

"Yeah! I'll ask my parents, but i know they'll say yes anyway...we could even try and get justin tower's autography while we're there...maybe...hopefully".

"Yeah of course, i think i can do that".

"You can?", marco asked, puzzled and ecstatic.

"I've never been to a concert before, but i did meet him in person once, when i was back at my old home...so he might remember me and meet us or something", wait a second, tom had MET the lead singer of their favorite band?! And never told marco about that!? Was tom some celebrity or something secretly?! How in the heck was tom so lucky-

Tom must've seen gears turn in marco's head as he quickly stepped in.

"Sorry, i wanted it to be a surprise before but i guess i might as well spill the beans on that one".

He seemed actually a little sheepish about that one, but marco patted his back, "Tom, you don't have to go so overboard for me but...it all sounds like a lot of fun, i really appreciate it. I'm probably gonna have to owe you for this one, like majorly, though i'm not sure what can beat meeting one of my idols in person, a sleepover, and a concert...".

"Dude, you don't have to-".

"I know, but i want to.".

Tom seemed to blush a little at that, touched at marco's words.

"So yeah, i'm excited...big ole hangout, just you and me. Consider it a big thank you for y'know...not making me feel alone or weird out here. Then tom let out an oo as marco hugged him tightly, almost knocking the wind out of him. "No one has ever done something that nice for me before, god, i'm gonna have to work to one up you after this whole thing".

Tom laughed, "You don't have to...".

"But i want to", marco replied, repeating tom's words teasingly.

"Very funny...but yeah...oh and maybe we can make cookies during the sleepover, something fun...could top it off with movies or games if you're still awake by that point", he winked, "Make it the best night ever". He bumped marco's shoulder as they disbanded, noticing people were staring, Mostly a lot of his classmates. Marco nearly forgot they were still in school, simply waiting for the bus to take them home.

That reminded him.

"So uh...where's star?".

She usually was here by now, unless she got held back to be scolded or something, or maybe star forgot something at her locker perhaps, she never ran late to get out of school with her friends. Mostly because these days star was pretty happy to avoid having to do schoolwork and deal with people like Brittney, though her not being here seemed to leave marco and tom both super worried.

"Should...we look for her?".

She was going to miss the bus if she didn't make it here soon and marco didn't want to leave her here. He gripped his backpack strap a little tighter in nervousness, tom trying to reassure him before star made her way around the corner in a hurry. Clearly knowing how late she was to meet up with her friends and tugging them onto the bus before they could even ask what happened.

Both letting out a small noise as she did so.

Marco felt the wind knocked out of him being thrown onto his seat and tom on the opposite one, star breathing faster then usual.

"S-star?".

"H-hey guys...sorry i'm late and everything I uh...got caught up in stuff", the boys looked between each other and she quickly ushered them to the bus so they could get home, "C'mon, we need to get home...". Marco felt her squeeze his arm rather forcibly, and he wondered just what star got herself into. He had the impression whatever it was, it might've been...well, bad.

And Star confirmed this for him the moment they sat down in their seats, the girl trying to fix her hair and huffing.

"Star...what happened?".

"I-...i was talking to jackie and ugh...brittney passed by".

Oh, oh no.

"Apparently her stupid birthday is coming up and of course none of us are invited because of course and jackie told her off for acting so mean and said if none of us were coming, she wasn't interested in coming either", star sounded so irrtated by that but that seemd very in character for jackie to do. Marco had to admit, the fact jackie stood up for them like that was actually...it was rather sweet, especially since jackie was considered decently popular among the school.

"Well that's cool of her...it's ok, it would've been a boring party anyway".

"Marco, you don't understand...brittney told us to come!".

"WHAT!?".

"Apparently she'd rather we show up then have jackie not show up, because the scene she made when defending us got a LOT of people's attention, that's why i was late, we got sent to the principle's office and in the end...she said we're coming", she seemed to be resisting the urge to stab someone at the moment, her anger searing through her teeth.

Even Tom looked baffled and grossed out, "Then why bother showing up, let's bail, ruin her party...like i care".

"Except she called our parents already to make sure we couldn't back out-".

"She didn't".

"The principle technically made the call...but..."

He couldn't believe this, they got themselves roped into a party with the girl who was spreading lies about them and being awful to them? Why? Why even bother, they had better things hey could do then hang out with someone as awful as Brittney, but somehow by a stroke of luck they seemed to get themselves roped into going to her party anyway.

There was an inkling that brittney almost planned this, like she had malicious intention with them coming, she would really rather have them there then not jackie? C'mon, there had to be something up.

"Pfft, we'll just pretend to be sick that day then...".

"Our parents aren't that stupid tom...we just all conveniently get sick? On the same day of a party of a girl we don't like? Ha, right", tom hated to admit it, but marco was right about that, there was no way they'd buy into that no matter how convincing they might make their sickness. Tom felt a wave of anger and frustration hit him, his good mood with marco suddenly ruined.

"Fine, but if we're going, i'm not speaking to her".

"Don't worry, we won't either".

This seemed to make tom a little better, a smile, faint as it was, appearing on the corner of his mouth for a split second.

"I'm glad to have you guys around as my friends, ugh...i hope jackie knows what she got us into-", it wasn't jackie's fault of course, she was trying to help, but seems it only led to more problems in the end. Star sighing, "She told me she was really sorry about that, she'll probably text you guys soon about it...i think she's hoping to make things up to us later if she can", that sounded like jackie alright.

At least she was taking responsibility for it.

But being sent to a party of the biggest bully in school? That sounded like there was no way it could end well.

Especially with all the rumors being spread around, and marco felt his chest stop when he really thought about it. A lot of the rumors around came from him hanging out with tom, what if they got worse? There was a real chance of it after all. Tom could get teased about their relationship and tell everyone off for it and...well, he could tell everyone that he didn't feel that way for marco.

And that seemed to sting to marco for some reason.

What if this ruined their friendship?

He didn't want brittney to tease tom, it could ruin tom's social life entirely and their friendship and-

"Marco? Everything ok?".

Star and Tom were staring at him, both highly concerned for their friend.

And no wonder, marco looked like he might burst from all the anxiety building up inside of him right now, all this stuff that was getting to him even though nothing had actually happened yet. He needed to pull himself together, calm himself down, do what tom did when he had moments like this, take a breather and remind himself nothing bad had happened yet.

"I'm ok, i'm sorry, i'm just worried what's going to happen if we show up...i don't trust brittney, she might take advantage of us being there or something.".

"You're not wrong about that marco, she always looks like she's up to something bad".

Star then grew a grin on her face that marco didn't like, the boy quickly snapping into her face to get her out of it, "Hey uh...don't, we could do without being banned from school or sued...instead of causing trouble let's maybe just be super careful around her instead".

Star looked sad, but she didn't seem surprised either.

Next time.

As they were dropped off, they were quickly surrounded as both marco and tom's parents left their respective houses tp give the kids large hug, as if somehow this situation was something to actually celebrate. "Oh KIDS! I heard you got invited to a big PARTY with your friends! That's so wonderful! It's been so long since i saw you go to a friend's birthday party like that marco!", marco was embarrassed as he was squeezed tighter by his father.

Gee, tell the whole world why don't ya?

"Tom's never been invited to a party before, that's wonderful!".

"DAD!", Tom blushed, him and marco both uncomfortable and humiliated now.

At least tom understood his pain, even if they both wanted to be out of this as soon as possible. Their parents eventually let them go though, noticing their kids didn't look nearly as thrilled as they did about this whole thing. They had to know what brittney was like at this point from how much their sons complained about her, there was no way they didn't.

And yet this thought this was a good idea?

They had to be desperate to get their kids out of the house at that point.

"Sorry sorry sorry, i'm just happy to hear about you being invited to an outing with a lot of kids, your mom is already considering what you should wear so you look good for it". His mother nodded and tom felt even more embarrassed, he wasn't dressing up for the meanest girl in school, he would for star, marco or even jackie but not for the girl who glared at him during lunch.

"Ooo! We'll help!", and marco grumbled as his father approached tom's parents.

He desperately hoped they didn't give the three of them matching outfits.

Because if given the chance, they would.

Star motioned to the boys, and pointed down the road and marco was quick to put the pieces together.

"C'mon, she's inviting us to her house tonight to uh...,avoid...this", he motioned to their parents talking and tom shrugged, maybe star's house was a better place to hide right now, at least star's mom might actually see the problem with all of this. The three heading down ways to get to star's house, a place marco had been a few times but tom had not been inside yet.

In fact, he'd yet to even see what it looked like.

It was a nice blue house, white door and windows, with a well maintained garden in the front and well kept lawn. You'd never think it was the kinda place someone like star really would live in if only because star would never have a house this nice looking if she actually owned it. Her parents must've really put in the effort to keep it this good looking.

And upon further inspection there was a lovely butterfly print on the door.

Tom was taking it all in but none of this was new to marco, he'd been here before enough times, and star's messy room contrasted this nice looking house to the extreme. He also remembered it because jackie lived on the next street, he remembered when star moved in and he felt slightly jealous how lucky she was to be so close to jackie, though really it was a blessing to have an excuse to wave at the girl when visiting star and she was riding past them.

"Up to my room, c'mon...before mom notices", star motioned for them to enter, not wanting to deal with her mother and her strictness, Marco couldn't really blame her, her mom always seemed a little too uptight, even if she was cool with her having friends over, he tended to make a lot of rules himself but Moon was on another level of strictness to make sure stuff didn't get out of hand.

It was like she thought star was a bomb or something that could explode any second.

But it seemed neither of her parents were back yet from...wherever they actually worked.

Their house was...mostly tidy, and it seemed rather elegant from the inside, thought that probably came from moon more then anything. The rest of her family were way too rowdy to have a place looking as nice as this. If river and star had in their way the place would probably look like a giant mess with several animals running around and only moon kept this place together.

But overall, it was nice.

Nearly the opposite of tom's much more gothic type home.

Star dragging the boys to her room, wanting to avoid her mom as much as possible and to hang out with her friends, the two finding themselves in the messiest room in the house. Star's clothes were everywhere, so were her books, and trash and so much more. Another thing she and tom had in common, they both weren't the peak of tidiness, though tom seemed marginally better in comparison.

Usually when marco slept over, he tended to sleep downstairs, both because River tended not to trust marco to sleep in star's room and both because it was too messy for him to sleep up there anyway.

Marco wasn't mad about that though, Star's room was a safety hazard.

Even now he and tom had to carefully step over the girl's trinkets and clothing to take a seat on her fancy canopy bed. Star dropping her backpack and items just on the floor without much of a care in the world, before falling on her floor, tuckered out. "Y'know, i've never been invited to a party since i've moved in here...well, aside from marco's at least, i just wish it wasn't brittney's of all people", she pouted, looking at the ceiling.

"You really think we're gonna be forced to go?", marco asked, star nodding.

"Yeah, we're stuck now...you know your parents aren't going to let you back out...".

Tom laid back on the bed, annoyed, " I can't believe that, it was so embarrassing, announce my partylessness to the whole world why don't ya dad...", tom covered his face, blushing under it as marco tried to calm him down. "It's ok tom, lots of teens don't go to those kinda parties, you aren't alone...it's not that embarrassing, and it's totally cool".

"You don't get it marco...i already feel anxious enough from barely talking to people...it's like rubbing it in my face".

Oh.

"I'm sure your dad had no ill intent...if it makes you feel any better though, i usually don't get invited to parties either, i usually throw some but never go to much myself", tom was quiet, leaving marco wondering if tom was comforted or not by his words. But he kept talking, just in case he may of stepped out of line, "I know it's lonely and everything...not having fun with the others...i'm sorry this had to be your first party here...".

"That's ok marco...i guess at least, i get to go with you".

Marco felt his face grow warm rather quickly, turning away to hide it, though unfortunately turning away from tom...meant looking at star.

Star smirked, seeing marco's face as he turned away.

If star and tom were dating in secret he didn't want either of them getting the wrong idea.

"Uh yeah, that at least sounds like a lot of fun...i'd rather go with you both then...alone".

"We'll just stick together so that leech doesn't mess with any of us...", tom hissed, "I might have to wear my good suit and everything, just in case...get a little tired of everyone acting like i'm some criminal or something because of how i dress.", it was really a shame the rumors were starting to spread like this, tom was still fairly new, well...not THAT new anymore but he'd hadn't lived here long and everyone was judging him.

it really made marco mad.

How was tom supposed to fit in if everyone was treating him like a danger to society for no reason?

Ok sure, maybe tom had well...scared jeremy half to death, several times, but he hadn't actually done anything criminal! He hadn't robbed anyone or attacked anyone or even harmed anyone for the sake of it. Jeremy was also being a bully during those times as well and tom hadn't even really laid a finger on him either, he came out unhurt...well...his social standing might've been hurt...

No, tom protected him and stood up to a bully, that wasn't the same thing.

These accusations were done to slander the boy.

Really it might've been possible with how tom had stood up to jeremy he might've been getting some attention Brittney didn't like, she hated attention being driven from herself after all, which was why Star bothered her so much. Now there was another strange new student getting the attention of others for her to scoff at, and with him even spending time with star and her best friend she might've felt more threatened.

Of course the new kids who got people's attention were friends, of course they were.

At the very least, that sounded like the reason Brittney was like this.

She could never just handle people taking attention away from herself.

Which then gave marco an idea, something he seemed to share with both his friends in the room.

"Y'know what, i think going might be a good idea, don't you think so?".

"Yeah marco", tom said with a grin that janna would envy, "Y'know something, maybe we HAVE been too hard on her, we should do to her party and give her the BEST birthday she could ever get from someone like us!". Even Star actually seemed delighted, rubbing her hands together, "Ooooo, yessss, i'm already gonna get started working on my gift".

Their smiling faces were quickly wiped however, at the sound of an opening door downstairs.

It seemed star's parents were finally home.

Which naturally starting sending star into a mood, quickly getting up and placing her ear at the door to hear how close they were and if they were talking about her or anything important. Though marco noticed she was glancing back to him more then anything as she listened in, like she was worried he'd hear something he shouldn't for some odd reason.

"Star?".

"Shhhh, my parents are home, keep quiet!".

The boys exchanged looks between them, waiting for star to stop...whatever she was doing, a few minutes passing before she headed outside her room to greet her parents downstairs. Hearing her mother ask if she got detention again and her father erupt in laughter, but overall they both seemed happy. Tom and Marco waiting just in case star didn't want them to come down yet.

But sure enough they heard star coming back up.

"Star? Is everything-?"

"Mom knows you're here...she's asking for you two to come down".

The two boys looked at each other before getting up and heading down the stairs carefully, hoping they weren't in trouble.

Tom actually looked really nervous all of a sudden and marco felt a bit concerned, was tom just nervous to meet his crush (Possibly girlfriend) 's parents? He seemed to look that way, guess he was so eager to get away from his parents he hadn't really taken the time to think about the fact he might of been going to run into star's own parents by being here.

Marco felt a sudden urge to comfort him.

Star's parents weren't THAT bad...but granted, Tom's look might give them the wrong idea.

Especially to someone like Moon who Marco and star both agreed seemed to be a bit more uptight.

But as the boys finally made down moon and river looked upon them pretty normally, the woman wearing a suit and river wearing the most dad outfit you could imagine someone who liked hunting and the outdoors would wear. Though before the boys could relax they were fixated on Tom, and that seemed to make marco really worry, were they judging him?

But they didn't seem mad...they seemed...surprised? Worried? Like they wanted to say something but couldn't?

Marco couldn't read their minds but something felt off when the couple looked at tom.

Like they'd seen him before.

But marco didn't even have much time to really ponder any of that, before River pulled him into a hug that crushed his bones. "MARCO MY BOY! GOOD TO SEE YOU!", this was how the guy usually greeted marco whenever he saw him but marco would prefer to just shake his hand...actually, maybe less then that. River was so strong marco wouldn't be surprised if he could punch a hole in the wall at this point.

Jesus, where were all these super strong people even coming from?

At this point maybe they all came from the same place and everyone was secretly superheros.

"Yeah...good to see you too...", marco managed to get out despite being crushed in the man's arms.

He fixed his clothes as he was let go and noticed moon had pulled tom aside to talk, though marco couldn't even tell what the two were saying to each other, peaking his curiosity even more as star stood nervously by.

Something was going on here and it was super weird, that was for sure,

Though star quickly dragged him into the kitchen to offer him some cereal, away from tom and her parents, only making marco more suspicious of what exactly was going on around here. It was like everyone was in on something he wasn't allowed to know about, and it gave him an uneasy type of feeling as he looked at star skeptically, not buying her attempt to change the subject and distract him.

Before he could even call her out on what was happening she was already making him cereal and answering his question, "Don't worry marco, it's all good...they uh...they just know about the rumors about tom and stuff...so they're nervous...that's all".

Was it though? Would star's parents really care about those rumors that bad? Especially since they were started by a bunch of teenagers?

Star could tell marco wasn't buying it, and she nervously poured him some juice, clearly regretting the choice to take the boys here. She quickly tried to change the subject again despite marco's clear uninterest, "Anyways we could do homework and stuff...come up to my room later so we have some quiet time away from my parents and everything.".

Yeah something was wrong alright, considering star NEVER wanted to do homework.

What the heck was going on?

But whatever it was, it was clear he'd have to push star on it later when she wasn't being...well...however she was being right now, There was no way she was going to tell him what was actually going on when she was like this, he was just going to have to wait. Though he could hear tom talking to star's parents outside, left wondering what they were talking about.

He felt so...left out.

And he really didn't like this feeling.

He never really felt this way before when it was just him and star, but something about tom since he arrived seemed to have marco more on edge, thinking about things he never really had to before.

Was he really overthinking all of this?

He doubted it.

His feelings right now just were...confusing, he didn't know what to think right now and suddenly the comfort he had just a few minutes ago in star's room seemed to have left his mind. Star went back outside to where the others were as marco sat alone, before tom came in to see him, smiling a little awkwardly and trying to brighten marco up, as unsuccessful as it was.

Tom wasn't dumb, he could tell this was all really strange to marco.

"So uh...i'm guessing you might want some answers to-".

"Yeah", marco said, not even needing tom to finish his sentence.

"I'm...gonna have to wait and tell you sometime later...maybe, if i'm allowed".

If he was allowed? What did that mean? Tom wasn't allowed to talk about what was going on? By Who? Star? Her parents? His parents?

Tom could only send him a reassuring glance to help him relax, though marco was having a hard time doing so...his mind swirling with questions, only making tom more worried.

"Marco...please don't-".

"It's fine...it's fine...", marco said, huffing, he needed to pull himself together, if tom was going to tell him what was happening he was just going to have to wait and hear about it, he couldn't lash out at his best friends without knowing what was going on. He felt tom trying to comfort him and reassure him nothing was worth worrying so much about, and marco finally cooled off.

He didn't meant to get so upset but something about this...bothered him.

These were his best friends, the people he should be trusting the most of anyone.

And yet they were keeping secrets from him and leaving him out, he just couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal.

"Marco...i can tell you're not fine...and i'm really sorry, but please...can you trust me on this...when there's a good time...i want to talk about it with you.", marco turned to look at tom directly, into his green eyes before turning away, feeling his face get warm. He really couldn't stay mad at tom for long could he? Tom was being way too nice to him as per usual.

"I...hope you have a good reason for all this", marco mumbled.

"I do...i promise".

Marco munched on the cereal star laid out for him as he felt tom comforting him, "Hey...for the record...we didn't talk about anything you need to worry about ok? Star's parents just had some things they needed to say to me in particular". He was trying to ease marco and marco took a few long breaths to weed out the last of his pent up anger, he'd never been so moodly before.

Was he sure he wasn't the one with the anger issues? Not Tom?

Tom seemed usually very cool and Marco felt he was the one with so much...frustration.

Tom was here, trying to get him to cool down, not the other way around.

Why did om give him a reaction like this so often? First karate now this?

Marco slumped his shoulders, he felt bad now.

"Hey, i'm sorry, i don't know why i'm so moody lately...i didn't mean to take it out on you and star...", his voice change turned tom more towards him, worried, "Hey it's ok, i get what you mean...i get moody too...my parents always say it's hormones and everything but i know it's inherited...my parents have their own anger issues and everything...they're just better at dealing with them then i used to".

"Hormones?", marco now felt REALLY embarrassed if that had been the case, shaking his head and changing the topic.

"I just want to know i can trust you and star...ok? You're my only friends and it feels like you're not telling me something because of...", he didn't finish his sentence and now it was tom's turn to feel bad, "I know...and i really want to tell you...but not right here...it's not a good time...but i will tell you marco...don't think this means i don't trust you or anything".

"I'll take your word for it...ok?".

That was enough for tom, looking rather relived.

"Ok, thank you marco, i promise...i'll explain when i can".

Star suddenly headed back in, relieved, "Ok, think everything is back on track...sorry about that, i really should've thought a but more about bringing you over to my house when my parents might of stepped through the door. ". She actually did seem rather anxious, like this whole thing stressed her out more then usual, it seemed to soften marco just a little more.

"It's ok star, don't worry so much, you got everything under control".

Those words seemed to send a wave of relief to her, "Yeah, yeah i did".

"You think we outta leave before things get more awkward?", star's eyes wandered to marco and back to tom, "Uh...well, maybe for now let's stick around, don't wanna risk getting into another situation or something".

"Actually, good point".

Last thing they needed was to add to the already tense situation they were currently under.

And marco didn't need any more stress placed upon him then he had already placed on himself. Star headed back out of the room and marco finished eating, waiting in silence for star's return, glancing at tom every once in awhile. Sometimes he caught himself looking a little too long, carefully looking anywhere else he could, not wanting to look like a weirdo.

He swore tom had glanced at him a few times though, even if he was trying his best not to think about it too hard, tom was probably just feeling as awkward as marco was. Marco wasn't even sure he knew how to make light conversation right now, he had pretty much all but got into a serious fight with tom and tom was probably being careful not to freak marco out more.

Earlier that day they were talking about how excited they were to hang out at a concert and now marco was freaking out about tom keeping more secrets from him, it was such a long range of emotions that he couldn't fully figure out. He felt sick to an extent, though he knew he was probably exaggerating the situation worse then it already probably was.

"Hey tom i-".

"Tom, marco, your parents are looking for you", moon wandered in, fixing herself up, "I know your visit was brief but you should head back and see them, i think they're worried about you since neither of you told them where you were going and it'll be dinner soon". Tom nodded and stood up, marco doing the same, actually happy to be leaving and getting out of this awkward situation.

Star sending them an awkward wave and promising to text them later so they could figure things out when it came to Brittney's party.

Leaving Tom and Marco to walk together.

"Marco, your friendship means a lot to me...", the tall boy mumbled, "I don't want you to ever doubt that...".

Marco nodded as they walked side by side, "I know, i didn't meant to freak you out, i guess...tom i know something is off, and i know you're not being completely honest with me...star's parents looked at you REALLY funny, like they wanted to say something. I don't...want to pry and stuff, i just...i don't want to feel like i'm being lied to either...like i want you guys to trust me".

"Yeah, i know...", he brushed at his hair, sighing, "I figured something like that would happen eventually...it was nothing against you marco, i promise...".

"So you'll really explain this to me?".

"I will, when i can, i promise...", tom stopped their walk, they stool on the sidewalk between their homes, knowing they needed to part ways and move on for the night, "I really care about you marco, this stuff is just...private...and i need to think about it...before i can consider it.". As much as marco wanted to know what tom wasn't telling him, he had to admit, tom didn't HAVE to tell him anything, this was personal to him and he had a right to talk when he wanted.

Marco gripping his backpack and letting out some air, "Alright, i'll respect that, i'll text you later tonight ok?".

Tom smiled, "Yeah, and we can plan our gift for brittney and our love sentence stuff!".

Marco smiled back, "Yeah, sounds good".

They stood there, as if wanting to hug or something before they parted, but instead, they awkwardly shrugged and avoided eye contact, both a little flushed before marco headed to his house. Tom stood there a second longer before heading to his, marco turning to see the boy wave at him as he closed the door, waving back meekly. The relief of home hitting him.

After dinner, and a long conversation about marco running off to star's without telling his parents, followed by discussing what he should wear to a teen party. Marco was happy to be in his room, getting ready for bed and ending this long day. His cell phone sitting nearby as tom started texting him, the phone constantly buzzing with energy over and over again.

Marco grabbing it and sitting on his bed.

Tom sending him a few pics of him and his rabbit, next to some clothes he wanted to wear for the upcoming events.

He looked so happy.

and marco quickly felt himself blush a little at seeing him before realizing the warmth and shutting it down, thinking about what tom said earlier.

"Hormones...yeah...", he mumbled, texting tom back for a long night of chat.

He'd have to check in with a doctor later...get that sorted out.

Something was up with him and the sooner he fixed it, the better.

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

I’ll leave what I’m chasing - part 3

I’m not entirely happy with this but I think that’s my own issue with my writing. Next time: Sarah and Aaron try to make it all better.

(AO3 Link)

The bed is empty when Aaron wakes one morning, a few weeks later and for a second he panics that it had all been a dream, when he hears a noise from downstairs.

The past weeks have gone pretty well after Robert’s little breakdown, he and Seb had got to know each other again, having their own little part of the day, just the two of them, when Seb came home from nursery. Things with Ana hadn’t been quite so easy, she’d taken to crying when Robert picked her up and no matter how many times Aaron assured him she was just cranky his words fell on deaf ears. He was so stressed out about doing something wrong still that Aaron was sure she was picking up on it.

Checking the clock he’s shocked to see it’s half past nine, he can’t remember the last time he slept so late and he can’t help wondering how Robert had got on with the morning routine all by himself.

He’s still pulling on his t-shirt when he starts down the stairs, stopping when he hears Robert talking. He can just about see him, flitting about the kitchen like he always did, constantly turning to check on the little girl in the highchair at the table.

“Do you think Daddy will like pancakes, eh? I think he will. Don’t worry, I made one for you because you were such a good girl this morning when we took your brother to nursery. I know I haven’t been here but I promise from now on I’m going to be the best Daddy ever, aside from Daddy Aaron obviously.”

“Mornin’.”

“What are you doing up? We were going to bring you breakfast in bed.” Aaron gasps at Ana making her giggle. “Sit. This will have to do.”

“I reckon I’m in trouble. Morning sweetheart. So to what do I owe this honour?”

“Do I need a reason?” Robert presses a kiss to his lips as he sets a plate in front of him.

“S’pose not. How was Seb?”

“We had a slight crisis when he just had to take his bear to nursery and I couldn’t find it, but he was placated with his giraffe. I thought...well, you’re going back to work for a bit today aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He mumbles around his pancakes ignoring the wrinkle of Robert’s nose at his manners. “Paperwork. I’ll only be an hour or two. Why?”

“I thought I might take her out for a bit, walk round the village, have lunch in the cafe.” Aaron looks up, startled.

Robert’s been reluctant to spend much time in the village since he came home, only the trips to nursery with Seb the exception. Aaron hasn’t minded, has enjoyed spending all their time together as well as glad he hasn’t had to run into any of his family.

“I can leave the paperwork if…”

“No. I meant just me and her. I can’t stay shut away in here all the time, and I can’t have you there to hold my hand either.”

“Ok. How’s about that sweetheart, a trip out with Daddy. Sound good?”

“Maybe we can go to the pub tonight. I’m sure Mum can babysit.” Aaron almost chokes on his breakfast. He’d hoped to avoid the inevitable conversation for a while longer, but obviously Robert had other ideas.

“Oh yeah. No, wait. She has book club on Thursdays. Another night yeah?” It wasn’t a lie, not really. Sarah did have her book club, but he also knew she’d drop it at a moment’s notice if they needed her.

“Sure.”

Thankfully no more is said about it and he leaves the house as Robert is trying to convince Ana that she doesn’t want to stay in her high chair all day. His mind isn’t on his work though, it’s on Robert. He has to tell him why they’re avoiding the family, everything that went on and he knows it’s going to hurt.

They might not have got off to the best start but he’d really thought when they got back together that his family had accepted Robert, and how much in love they were. The way they’d all helped with the wedding had seemed genuine enough but now he doubted it. The way they had all turned on Robert when he was sentenced had told him different. The worst thing had been his Mum, and Paddy getting into Liv’s ear and ruining the relationship she’d built with Robert over the years.

They haven’t spoken about prison or how Aaron coped either, both of them skirting round the issue every time they came close to mentioning it. That was something else that needed to change.

In the end he gives up and heads home needing time to work out how to broach the subjects Robert might not have wanted to be out and about in the village all that much but that would no doubt change, so they’d inevitably run into one of his family. He didn’t even know if they knew he was out. Liv did, or she’d known it would be soon and that’s when she’d decided to move to Dublin, still angry at Robert, probably fed up of being in the middle of everyone. He’s surprised he hasn’t heard from his Mum but he’s relieved.

“Aaron!” He stops, key in the lock as Sarah’s voice comes from up the drive. “I’ve been calling Robert but he’s not answering.”

“He’s taken Ana out for the day. He might be in the cafe. Here give me those bags. Did you leave any food in David’s?”

“Oh hush. I thought I could cook you and Robert dinner tonight. I can give book club a miss.” Aaron looks down at his feet. “What?”

“He wanted to go out, to the pub, ask you to have the kids. I begged off, telling him you weren’t free.”

“Love, he’s going to run into them sooner or later. Come on, put these bags in the flat for me, then you can make me a cup of tea.”

“How come I’m always making you a cup of tea?”

“Because you once told me mine tasted like the last puddle you stepped in if you remember.”

“I didn’t know you then!” He can remember going bright red when Robert introduced them. He’d taken Aaron to Whitby for the day not long after they’d got together and when they’d gone for a cup of tea in a cafe he hadn’t told him that it was run by his Mum. Aaron hadn’t spoken to him for the rest of the day as punishment and had been embarrassed about it ever since as Sarah could never resist bringing it up.

They’re still laughing as he puts the kettle on, jumping as the front door banged open and they’re greeted with Ana’s screams and Robert cursing under his breath.

“Rob? What’s happened?” Aaron reaches him first, hand on his arm as he releases the baby from her pushchair. Robert doesn’t answer, keeps fiddling with the buggy as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. “Robert!”

“Saw your Mum in the cafe.” He’s jiggling Ana in his arms as he speaks, to no avail as she keeps crying and Aaron looks back at Sarah, eyes filled with worry.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing to me. But she had plenty to say to Brenda, whispering away like a pair of witches around a cauldron. They knew I could hear.”

“Here, give her to me.” He holds his arms out for her but Robert takes a step back.

“I can do it!”

“I never said you couldn’t. Just thought you might want to take your coat off.”

“Let me take her, love. I think the two of you need to talk.” He nods, not taking his eyes off Robert. Sarah takes Ana and her bag, pressing a kiss to Robert’s cheek as she goes, and then they’re alone.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“First I’m going to make us both a cup of tea. Then, yeah I’ll tell you.”

He draws out making the drink as long as he can, ignores Robert’s irritated sighs, trying to get his head together, but then he can’t put it off any longer and sits himself down next to him, hands clasped round the mug, the warmth comforting him.

“So Mum didn’t say anything? Nothing at all.”

“No. Just gave me her death stare and went up to the counter. Then Ana started crying and I know what they were thinking, that I can’t cope with her. Maybe they’re right, she cries whenever I pick her up...”

“No they’re not. Besides, my mother is the last person to know what Ana’s like seeing as she’s never even met her.” That has the desired effect of stopping Robert in his tracks.

“You what?”

“I gave her a choice. So now you know why I’ve been putting off going to the pub.”

“But...you can’t just leave it there. This is because of me isn’t it? Not only did I mess up our lives now I’ve messed up you and your Mum too. I should never have come back.” He gets up before Aaron can stop him, storming into the kitchen, clinging to the kitchen worktops, breathing hard. “You’re all better off without me.”

“Oi.” He’s on his feet before he realises, pulling Robert round to face him. “Stop that right now. There’s no time or anywhere where I, or the kids better off without you. Never, you hear me?”

“But Aaron, your Mum…”

“My Mum, and the rest of ‘em made their choice just like I made mine both times I married you. I don’t need them. I do need you.”

“All I do is hurt you.”

“Yeah, you’ve hurt me, same as I’ve hurt you. But we’ve got through that, and we’ll get through this. You’re back...home, that’s all I care about.”

“But...I still don’t understand. How did...what happened?” Aaron sighs, knows Robert won’t let it go until he knows everything. He sits back on the sofa, managing to rearrange them so they were comfortable and Robert was right next to him, showing him how much he loved him as best he could.

“It started not long after you were sent down. Like I said before I might not have liked you cutting off contact, but I got why, but they didn’t. Mum went mental, said if you could do that then you obviously didn’t really care about me or Seb. She was in my ear every time I set foot in the pub. Paddy too, then they pulled Liv into it and I know part of it with her was her family being broken again and she was angry but I’d just had enough of it. They hated that I took no notice.”

“You didn’t ever think they might have a point?”

“No. I could cope with that, nothing I’d not heard before was it. It was…” He looks over at him, eyes shining with hurt and he can’t tell him. “Never mind. It’s done now.”

“Aaron, come on. Tell me. I’m sure your Mum will shout it at me at some point. I’d rather hear it from you.”

“You know we hadn’t told her Natalie was pregnant, we were waiting like you’re s’posed to. Well after the first scan, I wanted to tell you more than anything, that this tiny little speck on a screen was all ours and as I couldn’t.” He grabs Robert’s hand as he moves away slightly, guilt written all over his face. “As I couldn’t, the next best thing, or so I thought, was to share it with my family.”

“And?”

“Mum was fine at first, said all the right things, and I thought maybe the thought of another grandchild would mellow her, bring her round. Then all night, all she did was tell everyone ‘look at my son’s baby’ and how great a Dad I would be.”

“She’s right.”

“But she didn’t mean it like that. I knew what she was doing, blocking you out of Ana’s life. No mention of you. She’s ours, always has been.”

“Ok, but that’s not it, surely?”

“Next day I went round, told her that the baby was ours. She went off on one about you again, how I could do better, how I should get rid of you because you were in prison, that you were violent.”

“She thought I shouldn’t be around them? Aaron I’d never…”

“Don’t even finish that sentence. Don’t even think it. You don’t think I’d hurt them do you?”

“Of course not! Why would I?”

“I’ve been done for GBH, same as you, so by her logic...Anyway, I don’t think she even meant it, she was just saying anything to get me to do what she wanted. It didn’t even seem to register with her that whatever she was saying about you she was also saying about me.” He sniffs, brushes away a tear that has escaped. “I didn’t speak to her for weeks after that, only having Cain on my back made me try again.”

“And it was no better.”

“If anything it was worse. Paddy was there backing her up.”

“Well he’s never been a fan.”

“Idiot.”

“Still, surely you could see why she was so angry. I mean I had cut off her baby boy, leaving him to deal with having a baby.”

“Course, but that was before…listen, he didn’t hear anything, he was playing,” Robert’s eyes darken a little and he wishes he didn’t have to tell him. “I’d left Seb with Lydia, just for an hour. Mum was out so I said he’d be ok going with her to the pub. He was feeling poorly so I kept him off nursery but I’d arranged to meet your Mum at the station and I didn’t want to drag him there. Mum must’ve come home early, and we walked in to see him playing on the floor while the two of them were gossiping about you in front of him.”

“Gossiping how?”

“Katie, Rebecca, Paddy, ripping off Kim, Lee.”

“All my greatest hits. Wonderful.”

“He didn’t hear, I don’t think he would’ve even understood, but that was the last straw for me. If she couldn’t even keep her bile to herself while he was in the room then I didn’t want her anywhere near Ana. So I told her, she either accepted that you were my husband and promised not to speak about you like that anymore, in front of Seb or otherwise, or me and her were done and she wouldn’t get to know her granddaughter. Like I said she made her choice. The others fell into line like good Dingles. Except for Cain and Moira, they’ve been same as always.”

Robert doesn’t say anything, almost like he’s stunned, and Aaron can’t do anything except keep his arm around him.

“Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say, is there? I should’ve known they never really liked me. Wouldn’t have them pegged as good actors though, should give ‘em credit for that.” He jumps to his feet. “I’m going to lie down.”

“Rob…”

“I just want to be on my own Aaron.”

[miss-spooky-eyes]

Teething Problems (belated OC Kiss Week fic)

I know, believe me I know, that I couldn’t be later with this one ... but if you know me at all, you also know that I physically couldn’t write something for OC Kiss Week fic and not write about the murder wives, aka my BH Indirae (Indy) and November’s BH Orcodaa (Coda).

So I started thinking about kissing and this is what happened. I think it’s the shortest and silliest fic I’ve ever written, which is saying something on the latter front.

When a Togruta and a Cathar fell into bed together, there were always going to be problems.

Hope you like it @vespertine-legacy, and thank you for continuing to be so generous with Coda <3

Author Notes: Vaguely set when the murder wives are mere murder girlfriends/accomplices/partners-in-crime-with-benefits/it’s complicated. Cathar/Togruta biology headcanons vaguely taken from fanon. Coda belongs to @vespertine-legacy​ as aforementioned. 

Interspecies romance, or something within ninety degrees of romance, had been a part of Coda’s life since she was sixteen and realised how good humans smelled when they were nervous (a nervousness not unconnected to the fact she was sixteen, she realised in retrospect). And while her private fantasies about her partner-in-literal-crime had been free of fumbling and awkwardness, she’d been around enough to know that two women from such different species were not going to come together in instant, seamless harmony. Especially when Indy hadn’t been … around.

So she had expected there to be difficulties and surprises and oddities that had to be overcome with the aid of an open mind and a sense of humour, a prospect that seemed all the more daunting when you considered that they had one of each between them and both were Coda’s. But the biggest surprise was how swiftly things fell into place once Coda got Indy into bed (or rather, got herself into Indy’s bed, which was bigger, softer and didn’t have Mako sleeping three feet away). Coda found that she loved the sleek glide of Indy’s fur under her hand and the slight drag against her palm when she brushed it the wrong way, the contrast of hard muscle clothed in smooth silk and the hint of claws sheathed in soft velvet. When Indy’s smell changed with arousal, Coda breathed it in hungrily, and she delighted in eliciting all those involuntary sounds Indy got so embarrassed about. And even if all of that had been awful, it would still have been a more than acceptable trade for the texture of Indy’s tongue.

(Not to mention the body heat that Indy, with her faster metabolism, generated. Coda’s vague, shamefaced plans of sneaking back to her own bunk before the crew woke up hadn’t even lasted one night, her resistance to all the implications of awakening in Indy’s bed melting and evaporating amidst the sheer warmth of the body curled around hers.)

And Indy, for her part, didn’t seem the slightest bit repulsed by or hesitant about some of the aspects of Coda’s anatomy which had thrown previous lovers for an understandable loop. Quite the contrary.

No, what had been most surprising about finally becoming lovers was how natural it all seemed, at least while the actual lovering was going on.

Which is not to say that there weren’t teething problems.

Literally.

Because Togruta and Cathar had both evolved as apex predators, and that meant two mouths full of fangs. And while many millennia separated the two bounty hunters from the ancestors who had hunted to survive in a much more immediate way, Shili and Cathar had still left their marks on Coda and Indy. Which meant that they left marks on each other.

The peculiar reaction of Cathar to Togruta venom aside, a little enthusiastic nibbling was not an issue for either woman as long as Coda’s glands remained unexpressed. But when it came to kissing, two sets of fangs meant a certain amount of delicate manoeuvring was called for, a modicum of care and attention required.

Care and attention which Coda was not always, in the heat of the moment, capable of applying. Especially not once they discovered that one position that felt so good for both of them. Because Coda could be as careful as she liked, but when Indy braced herself with her palms flat on the wall and sank down on Coda and squeezed in just that particular way, Coda’s vision reliably went white around the edges and her instincts took over.  

Which, if Indy happened to be kissing her at that moment, could have painful results.

There were probably worse ways to be abruptly yanked back from the brink of an orgasm, but discovering you’d just involuntarily pierced your lover’s lip or tongue with your teeth was rapidly becoming Coda’s least favourite.

And late-night trips to the medbay in which she had to call upon her long-ago medic training were not her idea of basking in the afterglow.

Things got worse when their spare handheld dermal regenerator was cannibalised for parts by Blizz and their spare spare got lost on Voss, meaning that any crew member who had absentmindedly taken the regen unit back to their room to treat an abrasion was risking being woken up in the middle of the night by a frustrated, half-dressed Coda.

‘I think,’ Torian said diffidently one morning after watching Indy wince her way through a bowl of porridge, ‘the problem might be ... teeth.’

‘Because of you both being predatory species,’ Mako added. They were all in the cargo bay, which Indy had decided needed to be reorganised, since there was still stuff in there from the Mantis’ previous owners.

‘Really?’ Coda said sarcastically as she dragged a heavy crate away from the wall.

‘Maybe you could wear mouthguards,’ Mako suggested brightly. ‘Or file down your fangs?’ She blinked as both Indy and Coda turned to stare at her. ‘Maybe not.’

‘Why do you even have to kiss anyway?’ Gault demanded from where he was leaning against the wall next to the door. ‘That’s such a -’ he waved a hand dismissively - ‘human thing. On Devaron, mouths are for lying.’

‘Devaronians don’t kiss?’ Mako demanded incredulously.

‘Not other Devaronians, no. But sometimes I make allowances for the primitive habits of humans.’

‘Humans aren’t the only species who kiss,’ Torian objected, helping Mako lift another crate.

‘No, but they’re the worst offenders.’

‘Wait,’ Mako said, frowning. ‘Why do humans kiss? I never really thought about it.’

Indy forestalled the slicer as she reached for her datapad. ‘Cargo inventory first, HoloNet research hole later.’

‘I think it’s a reconciliation gesture,’ Torian suggested. ‘Like declaring peace after aggression.’

‘That’s such a Mandalorian perspective,’ Mako objected, rolling her eyes.

‘Humans kiss because they have such weak senses of smell that they can’t detect each other’s pheromones unless they’re squashed up against each other,’ Gault said scornfully. ‘Disgusting business, really.’

‘Oh, like you never kissed that hot Mirialan woman whose holo you keep under your pillow,’ Mako retorted.

‘The point is that you two don’t have that excuse,’ Gault said, pretending not to hear Mako and gesturing to Indy and Coda. ‘Which means you don’t have any excuse for waking me up in the middle of the night looking for the regen unit because you accidentally pierced your girlfriend’s tongue again, Coda.’

‘Gault,’ Indy said ominously.

The Devaronian held up both hands in a conciliatory gesture. ‘Sorry, champ, but it’s getting ridiculous. Torian agrees with me.’

‘Torian?’ Coda demanded, turning to him.

‘I -’ Torian floundered, his fair skin reddening under her scrutiny. ‘I don’t want to get involved.’

‘Smart decision,’ Indy said quietly.

‘No, let’s hear from everybody,’ Coda said, waving her hands. ‘What do Mandalorians do, anyway? Bump helmets? Blizz, we haven’t heard from you yet, don’t you want to tell us about Jawa kissing?’

There was a sudden silence. Blizz put down the tool he had been fussing with and drew himself up to his full height. ‘Coda-boss should not ask Blizz such things,’ he said stiffly. ‘Is for Jawa to know.’

Coda didn’t need the look Indy directed at her to step forward and drop to one knee in front of Blizz, bringing her eye level much closer to his. ‘I’m sorry, Blizz,’ she said gravely. ‘It was rude of me to ask you that. Please forgive me.’

Blizz patted her shoulder graciously. ‘It OK, Coda-boss. Blizz knows Coda-boss mean well. It not Coda-boss’s fault that no one taught Coda-boss to behave civilised.’

‘Thank you,’ Coda said meekly.

Indy cleared her throat. ‘Back to work.’

*

‘What do Jawas do?’ Coda asked Indy much later as she lounged on Indy’s bed, watching Indy get undressed.

‘I don’t know, and I don’t think we should ask Blizz any more.’

‘I’m just wondering.’ Coda shuffled to one side as Indy sat down next to her. ‘Do Cathar kiss, though? I mean, I know you kiss me, but on Ord Mantell, in your town, were kids sneaking away into dark corners to kiss, or what?’

‘I wasn’t.’

‘If you had been, though?’ Coda pressed.

Indy considered the question in her slow, thoughtful way. ‘We do kiss. But it’s not the main thing.’

‘What’s the main thing?’

‘Well, we do this.’ Indy dropped her head to Coda’s shoulder and stroked her cheek and the side of her jaw against Coda’s skin, then did it again, her warm furry face pressing against Coda hard enough that Coda had to brace just a little bit to keep her position.

Coda smiled, enjoying the feel of Indy’s fur against her bare skin. ‘What else do you do?’

Indy pulled back and considered. ‘A bit of this?’ She leaned in again and bit Coda, very, very gently, on the cheek, then trailed down, alternating nuzzles from her soft nose with the most delicate, deliberately restrained bites along her jaw. ‘And I might groom the fur on your ears, if you had it.’

‘Feel free to try anyway,’ Coda said a little breathlessly, shivering at Indy’s breath against her skin.

Indy made a little noise deep in her throat that Coda knew was the sound of temptation, but pulled away. ‘Why, what do Togruta do together?’

‘This, mainly.’ Coda took Indy’s hand and lifted it to her lek, guiding the Cathar’s fingers down the inner surface. ‘And you already know I like this.’

‘I do,’ Indy said, a faint growl rumbling from her chest as she watched Coda close her eyes briefly and shudder.

‘And I’d smell the back of your neck.’ Indy obediently bent her head, and Coda buried her nose in the nape of Indy’s neck. There wasn’t a scent gland there for Cathar like there was for Togruta, but it didn’t matter, because being this close to Indy’s skin, breathing in her fur, her smell … Coda reluctantly pulled away before it became overwhelming, touching the nape of Indy’s neck with one finger instead. ‘That’s where I’d bite you, if. You know. We were. Looking to mate like that.’

‘It always comes back to teeth with you,’ Indy said, but she was smiling.

‘With us,’ Coda corrected, and they kissed, just brushing their lips together, although even then Coda felt the light pressure of Indy’s incisors.

‘So if kissing isn’t a big thing for Cathar, and it’s not a big thing for Togruta,’ Coda said, stroking Indy’s soft cheek with one finger as the Cathar settled herself between Coda’s legs so they were face to face, ‘why do I always find myself kissing you?’

‘I don’t know.’ Indy shifted her weight to drape her legs over Coda’s thighs.

‘Maybe, with people from different species, kissing’s like Basic. The universal language,’ Coda mused. ‘You know, it’s like barter credits. Acceptable everywhere.’

‘Maybe. Or maybe you just like my tongue.’

‘I do like your tongue.’ Coda traced Indy’s lips with her thumb. ‘I’d like it intact.’

‘It’ll survive.’

‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ Coda persisted.

Indy considered her for a moment, her expression unreadable. ‘Don’t I hurt you when I scratch your back?’ She lightly touched Coda’s upper arm, where rings of fingertip-sized bruises were fading. ‘Or grip you too hard?’

‘I like it when you do that.’

‘Exactly.’ Indy leaned in to rest her forehead against Coda’s. ‘And I don’t mind bleeding a little.’

Coda smiled, sliding her hands down Indy’s back to her hips and pulling them against her own. ‘So we can keep kissing?’

‘As long as you keep your venom to yourself.’

Coda’s lips traced the two small puncture-shaped scars on Indy’s shoulder, relic of the bite that had started it all. ‘As long as you warn me before you do that … squeezing thing.’

Indy leaned in for a kiss, nipped lightly at Coda’s lower lip, surprising a laugh from her. ‘Where’s the fun in that?’