#like it wasn't some rando

[syndesinae]

good morning everyone! i woke up just absolutely loving how my aromanticism isn't het! because a lack of something and having something are very obviously not synonyms! duh :D 💚

[bayetea]

I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story

[zemnarihah]

who are these people how do they find these posts. I don't even remember saying that

[mistytpednaem]

that's cool, random empty blog who saw it fit to respond to a post i only tagged for spoilers and a cw. you are correct, they were also sexually assaulted. hold on i am receiving a very long fax detailing all the times lucy steel and yasuho were in some form of sexual peril

[firebirdsdaughter]

Like…

… And then the clones defeat themselves? Like. I get what you thought you were doing but. It doesn't really work.

[princehendir]

Also in Metroman's defense I think he not-unreasonably assumed that once he was gone Megamind would just like, calm down.

[drakonovisny]

why do my sims playthroughs always turn kinda fucked up :'D

[dont-open-dead-inside-25]

Are you a proshipper? Lmao

why do you ask?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

one in a million when i watch smthing in the horror genre and don't end up disappointed to/and/or pissed off about it so like "also yeah i liked it. ooo" is like relative to that an off the charts rave review of media of the millennium. also i did think about mh a lot along the way so would recommend its affect/effect if you like mh's horror too

[the-private-local-enemy]

shout out to the lady i passed by at like 1am pretty much some time last year who was yellin at a cat and decided to have a chat with me that i can barely remember who after myself and the dog extricated ourselves and were all the way down the road proceeded to Run At Us to catch up and try to invite herself over or me over to her house whilst the whole time kept assuring me "i won't hurt you don't worry" (every time it compoundingly had the opposite effect) and then a couple nights later i s2g i heard someone on the opposite side of the road from where we met where she was yellin at the cat calling my name, the name i didn't give this lady,

[auroramosaic]

im so tired

[bi-writes]

simon being protective of his mail order bride scratches all the right spots in my brain.

mail-order bride

you're almost relieved when you hear the knock at the door. you've been a holding a tree pose for a few minutes too long, and the girl hosting the online yoga class is starting to fry your eardrums with her too-perky voice.

you're sweating bullets, and her hair hasn't moved a fucking inch out of her ponytail.

you mute the television, wiping your forehead before making your way to the front door. you open it with a sigh, not really knowing what you expected to see, but it certainly wasn't the average-dressed man standing on the steps there.

you blink, raising a brow when his eyes roam over you, and you realize suddenly that you're wearing workout clothes, which is showing off a little more than you'd like to some rando standing on your doorstep.

"uh..." you look around a little. "i'm sorry, can i help you?"

he smiles. it's a little unnerving.

"right, yeah, i'm starting a business around here, and i wanted to ask if you've been needing any help with any fixtures around the house. i'm giving a 50% discount if you give me a rating on google."

you open your mouth for a moment, frowning.

"uhm..." you shake your head, "sorry. we don't need any help right now."

"you live here alone? sometimes it's hard to spot when the electric's on the piss, y'know? need a keen eye," he laughs, coming up one of the steps. you shake your head again.

"no, thanks."

he's a wiry man, but he's tall (not taller than your husband, but taller than you). you step back a little and start to close the door. he comes up the steps. out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat slip out between your legs, hissing a little as the distance closes between you and the man.

"wait! can i give you my contact info? i don't have a card, but i can leave you my--"

the sound of simon's truck pulling into the garage gets both of you to look behind. simon doesn't even park all the way inside. he throws the truck door open, stepping out of it, and the man on your steps moves back away from you immediately, making his way off the little porch.

simon looks huge, more so than ever. his steps are heavy, boots hitting the ground like a warning bell, and he's wearing just a short-sleeved shirt that's showing off those glorious fucking arms. you have never doubted simon's strength, but he looks like he could flip a car with the anger that's leaving him in heavy waves. you're surprised that you are not afraid; you just know somehow that simon won't touch you.

"oi!" simon yells, and the man definitely understands he picked the wrong fucking house to be a creepy salesman at when his knees nearly buckle as he tries to walk away. "where the fuck do y'think y'r goin', you twat?"

you sigh deeply, not realizing how much you were shaking until you notice your hands trembling around the doorknob. you watch as simon catches the guy by his dirty jean jacket, nearly lifting him completely off his feet as he drags him towards the fence gate.

"hey! hey! i didn't do anything!"

"i saw ya, ya fuckin' arse, know exactly wot the fuck y'were doin'," simon growls, tossing him onto the sidewalk. he hits the pavement with a cry, holding onto his arm, and simon slams the fence gate closed before pointing at him accusingly. "'f i ever see ya anywhere near m'fuckin' house or even askin' m'wife for so much as fuckin' directions, i'll cut y'r bloody prick off, y'hear?"

you blink as simon comes closer, the cat retreating back into the house once they see him. he keeps walking, crowding you back into the house before he shuts and locks the front door. his chest is heaving, black t-shirt doing nothing to hide the puff of his chest and how large he makes himself when he stands up to other men. he doesn't even need to make himself larger; simon takes up enough space for two men combined.

"he touch you?" simon asks, his voice low. you see his fists clench, and you have no doubt that if you said yes, simon would go outside and paint the pavement a new color with the man's face.

you shake your head frantically, and he lets out a deep breath, reaching up and wrapping a hand around the back of your head and pulling you close.

he bends, pressing his masked forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes in slowly. he rubs at the nape of your neck, soothing you, and you smile when he pulls away, giving him those big eyes that say thank you, thank you, thank you.

simon cocks his head, staring behind you, and you turn with him to see the cat blinking slowly at the two of you from it's place on the windowsill.

"should get you a fucking guard dog instead," simon mutters, pulling his mask off and kicking his boots into the corner. you smile as he walks away, trying to cool your warm cheeks with the backs of your hands.

doesn't he know you already have one?

[ereh-emanresu-tresni]

.

[haarute]

remembering how i not only filled my school folders with drawings, but also i drew elaborate things on my desk all the time out of boredom, and i actually met the girl who went to the afternoon shift in the same classroom and spot i sat at during that year as she was a cosplayer i briefly met for being in the local anime con scene.

i once tried to talk to her to maybe make friends with her, but she was very dismissive of me, and at a later date she just left me a message on our desk telling me to stop drawing stupid things and erased most of it, at which point i just felt really bad and never bothered or saw her again.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh no…

… I thought about the horrible romance plot in The Hobbit and now I'm angy.

[daxite]

oh my fucking god can people actually just shut up about that captcha post i seriously don't give a shit dude