#like it used to take me about 5 hours to fall asleep after going to bed

[yelenasdiary]

I usually stay up late (right now is 3 am and I still have things to do) programming and doing stuff.

I thought about this fic idea and you popped into my mind.

How about we mostly work in IT for SHIELD/the avengers so we mostly stay with computers or we are in workshops. The thing is we are with yelena and in general we get along with everyone. Lately yelena has noticed that we are more tired than usual, because us being a workaholic person can’t just stop working. One night yelena finds us sleeping on our computer while we were programming/hacking, she tries to gets us to sleep and we try to deny it. Next day yelena has some words with nick fury.

This is probably bad written but right now my brain is not braining sorry

Workaholic

Pairing: Yelena Belova x GN! Reader

Summary: You’re a workaholic that doesn’t realise how drained you can get. 

Fluff & Tiny Angst

Warnings: None, if there is any, please let me know. | 1.7K

Translations: Detka (baby)

AC: Thank you for sending this! I know it has taken me FOREVER & I do apologise for that. I hope you enjoy this! x

She watched in silence every morning when you would drag yourself out of bed to the kitchen for breakfast before leaving for work and she would watch again when you would finally come home late at night, hair slightly a mess before you’d take a shower and crash almost instantly the minute you sat down on the bed. She didn’t know what was going on at work, but she knew it was draining any energy you had left. 

Anytime she would meet you for lunch or when she would see you for the short period of time before and after work, you were just tired. Conversations were flat and short; you began to work later than usual which led to you going to work earlier than normal.

At first, Yelena just assumed it was something really important that Nick Fury, your boss, needed you to get done but when she found you one night, asleep at your desk, it raised more concern and worry for you.

Yelena sighed lightly to herself as she leant against the doorframe of your office, her brows frowning with concern at the sight of you slumped over your desk, the blue light from the monitors didn’t seem to wake you, your fingers still lightly pressed on the last letters you had pressed before resting your head. Lines of coding ran across the multiple screen system surrounding you, these were things she knew she would never truly understand how they worked. 

“Detka” she said softly, attempting to wake you. You stirred slightly, giving her a light groan but no real signs of opening your tired eyes. “Let me take you home so you can get some real sleep” you heard her Russian accent ever so softly speak. Unintentionally, you groaned once more, this time your eyes flickering open, the brightness of your screen making them sting. 

“I..I’m fine” you mumbled, sitting up straight, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.

“Detka, you can’t keep doing this. What is so important to Fury that has you falling asleep at your desk?” Yelena asked, her brows frowned with worry. 

“I just need like 5 more minutes, I promise” you replied in your groggy state.

“More like another 5 hours” Your girlfriend muttered before she reached for your computer mouse before you could even string together where things were. “I’m not letting you make yourself sick for whatever this is” Yelena added, her voice low but firm, “you need sleep. No more hacking for tonight” she said as you watched the little arrow on your screen close down your opened tabs. 

“Yelena!” You spat, “I can’t! I have too much do to and you just shut it down?!” You added, annoyed by your girlfriends actions as you looked up at her. Yelena shook her head, “if you write another line of coding, you’re going to become the damn coding!” 

“You don’t get it, I need to get this done!” You frowned. 

“And you get do it tomorrow” Your girlfriend said, crossing her arms over her chest. Your eyes dropped slightly, there was no fighting her one this, not even you felt your eyes grow heavy once more. 

“Fine” you sighed, tiredly, “just let me close everything down properly before we go home” you added. 

----

The next morning, you woke up in a panic. The sun light creeping in through the crack of the curtains, you reached for your phone to find out your alarm had been switched off. You sighed before throwing your head back down on the pillow before covering your face with both of your hands. 

Yelena was giving her daggers a sharpen when you asked her why she had turned your alarm off. 

“Because, detka, you needed a real sleep” she said, not batting and eye at you. 

“Yelena, you made me late for work! I don’t even know what to tell Nick when I get there” you argued. 

“I already told him you’d be running late today” Your loving girlfriend replied, looking up at you, “I’m worried about you” she added. One look into her green eyes and you were reminded of the worried look she had on her face late last night when she found you at your desk, asleep. 

“You’re working yourself too hard, you come home and have a re-heated meal then shower and go to bed for a few short hours. Natasha and Wanda both said that you don’t even leave the compound for lunch, not even to get some fresh air. You are consistently at that desk working until early hours of the morning” Yelena said in a soft but firm tone. 

“Baby, it’s my job” you said, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Yes, it is but your job isn’t 16 hours a day” 

Your eyes dropped to your feet, “I know, I just….i just want to make sure I’m doing the best I can for Fury. All the coding and hacking I do, it’s not easy. It’s time consuming and I need ot be on top of my game all the time” you explained in hopes it would help Yelena understand. 

“You’re not going to be on top of your game if you’re falling asleep at your desk and barely function outside of work. Detka, I hate to say it, but you’re a workaholic” Yelena replied. You cocked a brow at the blonde, “I am not” you said, making Yelena chuckle. 

“You are detka, a hard, smart working workaholic” she teased, causing you to playful roll your eyes. “Think whatever you want Lena, I’m going to go get ready for work”

“I’m taking you today” Yelena said just before you pushed yourself off the doorframe, “and I’m picking you up at 5pm” she added. 

“Lena, you can trust me to come home at the end of my shift today” 

“I know, but Nat is dragging me in to help her with some training thing so why not carpool?” She replied with a rather proud grin on her lips. You playfully shook your head at her before making your way to the bathroom to get ready for work. 

----

You and Yelena walked into the compound, hand in hand before Yelena placed a soft kiss on your cheek and wished you a good day as you both parted ways, she waited until you were inside the elevator before she turned on her heels and headed towards Nick’s office. 

Nick, busy as usual was sitting at his desk with a stack of paperwork beside him. His focus so deep on the document in front of him he didn’t even hear the knock on his door. 

“Fury” Yelena said lightly, her accent coming in thick. 

Nick looked up before leaning back in his chair, “Belova” he acknowledged with a raised eyebrow. 

“I need to talk to you, it’s important” Yelena began, “it’s about Y/n” she added. Fury nodded, “come on, take a seat” he replied. Yelena closed the large wooden door behind her before she took a head on the typical office style chair. “What can I help you with?” The head of S.H.I.E.L.D asked. 

“They’re pushing themselves too hard for whatever it is you have them working on. This is shield, right? Not some tech startup company. They need a break” Yelena said firmly. 

“Right” Nick nodded, “and you think that I’ve been keeping them prisoner to their desk?” He added as he stood up from behind his desk and wandered over to Yelena, taking a the empty chair next to her, “Y/n is one of my hardest working IT employees, they are dedicated to their job, I admire it, I will all my IT employees would put in half the effort Y/n does. This job isn’t easy, there isn’t a real shift time start or end. We may need them at 4am if a mission goes south and they know that” he explains. 

“But they are here early every day, and they leave later than anybody else. You can’t tell me that every mission over the last month has gone to shit” Yelena argued.

“No, but, like I said they are dedicated to their job. Look, I’ll have a look at the clock ins and outs. If Y/n is doing too much unneeded overtime, I will have a word to them but if they aren’t, I’m not going to get in the way of somebody who has a drive to work” 

Yelena sighed lightly, “have you even seen them lately? They are exhausted, last night when they didn’t come home, I came here and found them asleep! At their desk! I’m not asking you to check their clock ins and outs, I am asking you to give them the break they deserve and need” Yelena said firmly, not backing down. “You can go a few days without them here. A few days is worth it then not having them at all” she added. 

Fury remained silent for a moment, contemplating Yelena’s request. He knew Yelena was right; losing a little of something is better than not having it at all. “Okay” he said, finally breaking the silence, “I will speak to them on their lunch break” he added. 

“Thank you” Yelena said, giving him a polite nod. 

“You’re just like your sister, stubborn” Nick muttered with a cocked brow. 

“I am when I need to be” Yelena teasingly grinned. 

----

When 5pm came, you didn’t want to keep Yelena waiting, you shut down your computer and made sure your desk was tidy for tomorrow morning before you wandered the main hall of the compound. You smiled softly when you locked eyes on her leaning against her blue pick-up truck talking to Natasha, Bucky and Sam. 

“What’s the gossip today guys?” You asked with a light chuckle. 

Natasha was the first to turn and smile at you, “hold on a moment, are you unwell?” She asked, jokingly. 

“Ha, Ha, very funny” you replied, playfully rolling your eyes as you stood next to Yelena, leaning your head on her shoulder. “Somebody couldn’t help themselves and spoke to Fury today” you added. 

“Ohhh! Yelena went to the big dogs!” Sam laughed. 

“She did and honestly, thank you” you said, looking up at Yelena. 

“You’re welcome” she smiled softly.

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[incohorace]

my eyes are so tired but my brain is literally wide awake this is bullshit

[17020]

BLUEPRINT

Soshiro Hoshina is great at following blueprints and maps, always finding his way back to you. Right?

TAGS . . . fluff/crack, clingy Hoshina, reader is called 'beautiful', this is my first time writing for kn8, expect more in the future! dedicated to @nyxypoo , for helping me organize my brainrot, and also to @maruflix , for introducing me to the manga in the first place.

Soshiro "Don't get attached to anyone" Hoshina had finally come to terms with the fact that, in order to sleep he needed warmth; one which only a human could provide.

Which is why he found himself in the wee hours of the morning completely awake, unable to catch a wink of sleep. His fingers desperately tapped over the screen of his phone, typing a message. When he sent it, his attention shifted to the background photo of his chat—a picture of a certain officer watching the sunset on the dormitories' terrace.

SOSHI <3 02:41 When are you cominggg I need you

YOU 02:41 I'm going in rn, I'll be there in 5

SOSHI <3 02:42 I'll get the toolbox then Good luck, sweetheart

Having been sworn to secrecy by Soshiro himself, you could not afford to have anyone find out about your relationship with the Third Division's vice-captain. It could jeopardize your job as a platoon leader, and also put both of your lives at risk. Because gossip flows like an endless river, and could eventually reach higher-ups, or worse, an identified kaiju disguised in human flesh.

You carefully aligned the screwdriver with the last screw left. Twisting it, you took it off and placed it with the other three under your pillow, inhaling deeply before taking off the vent panel and sliding in.

You knew the route like the back of your hand, the flashlight from your phone now deemed as unnecessary, for the amount of times in which you crawled through the Third Division's vent systems exceeded the hundreds. The cameras in the hallways would deem it suspicious if you went to sneak out to Soshiro's room directly, which is why you settled on using the vents.

You crawled and crawled, turning every few minutes until you reached your opening. Poking your head out you saw your boyfriend, waiting for you with open arms.

"Aww, is my little worm ready to be carried?" he cooed, his arms now on your sides as he pulled you towards him. You scoffed at the name, "You call me a worm again and I won't help you ever again."

He tilted his head back as he laughed, heading back to his bed, which had the covers already pulled back. He climbed in and patted the spot next to him, grinning from ear to ear when you laid next to him as he took the opportunity to place his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your waist.

"You've no idea how much I missed ya, darlin'."

"We saw each other in the cafeteria a few hours ago, Soshi" you smiled, your fingers running through his hair. You felt him pout as he whined, stating that a few hours were enough to drive him wild.

"Y'know that's not enough, beautiful."

When you agreed to date the Soshiro Hoshina you knew what you were signing up for. Every breathing moment, the vice-captain had to have his hands on you, whether it was his hand grazing yours during meetings, to him latching on to you in order to sleep.

You were his drug. Plain and simple.

It didn't take long for your boyfriend to fall asleep. Your presence alone was comforting, with your body offering him the peace and quiet that he longed for after a hard day at work. Unbeknownst to him, you took a bit longer to join him in dreamland, as you first had to hear the little sentences your boyfriend murmured here and there while fully asleep.

On tonight's menu? "...jus' wanna... be like this... forever."

Apparently, 'forever' lasted for around... half a day. 'Forever' did not include an incident with a honju, which ended up in you having to stay in the infirmary, after stepping in to help someone from your platoon.

Bed rest was mandatory. Those were the orders given to you by the vice-captain, after all. Having encountered and fought a fungal-type kaiju, he demanded you spend the night in the infirmary, in case there were any issues with spores.

Soshiro eyed the photo on his phone various times, only stopping to check the time. 1:34 am. Good enough, right?

SOSHI <3 01:35 Alright beautiful, I'm going in I think you're gonna have to get up from the bed to let me in tho I'll let you know when I'm there

YOU 01:36 The iv is in my left arm so I'll be good Good luck, handsome!!

The flashlight on Soshiro's phone was on, the photo on his screen displaying the blueprint of the vent system. The trajectory was simple: go straight, then right, then right again, and then straight into the infirmary vents. Plus, it would be way easier for him to recognize, as you promised him you would play some music from your phone for him to know which room it was.

And so, Soshiro Hoshina embarked on what could be the hardest mission of his life. He wondered how you were able to do this every night without fail, then do it again in the morning before the other platoon leaders woke up. He gained newfound admiration for you as he crawled his way into your room, his forehead red from hitting his head against dead ends multiple times.

At last, he found the panel.

There it was, the soft classical music playing in the room. Weird, he thought, Yn never really listens to this type of music. He shrugged it off, believing that it might have been a special signal just for him.

"Psst—hey—special delivery coming through."

Silence. You must have fallen asleep.

"Yn" he whisper-yelled, "Angel, open the vent for me, yeah? It's kinda cramped in here."

No response.

He sighed as he pressed the call button, uncomfortably holding the phone against his ear. When he noticed your phone didn't ring, he assumed it was silenced. The vibrations surely would wake you up, right?

YOU: Soshi, are you here? I don't see you anywhere

SOSHI <3: Angel I'm here, I followed the music—didn't know ya liked classical

YOU: Classical? Baby, I'm playing Ciara.

SOSHI <3: Then whose room am I in?

The moment Soshiro heard the growl of a feline, he ended the call.

SOSHI <3 02:53 HOLY SHHIT I THINK I ENDED UP IN CAPTAIN ASHIRO'S ROOM

YOU 02:53 HOSHINA THAT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE DID YOU EVEN READ THE BLUEPRINT???

SOSHI <3 02:54 Oh so I'm Hoshina now. You don't love me. Btw I'm stuck and Bakko found me I love you

"Vice-captain Hoshina? Is that you in the vent?"

Soshiro Hoshina swore he had shit his pants.

[rememberwren]

A Dichotomy of Thought || 5

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Further Parts

Johnny recovers slowly.

-

Fifteen minutes? Simon messages you. A flare going up in the darkness, an SOS signal even if you don’t know the accuracy of the analogy. But he doesn’t hear back from you that day.  Maybe what little luck he had left that wasn’t bad luck has run out. Maybe you realized that you had no real reason to be guilty, that Soap had stepped out in front of your car on purpose. You didn’t owe them anything. 

Simon wishes he could swallow that flare back up, eat it whole, let it burn him alive, but he can’t. Johnny needs him. 

Ever since the seizure, it’s been one bad pain day after another. The seizure itself was rough on his body, but so was how hard Soap fought afterwards, dealing himself damage that he didn’t even have the processing yet to tally up. 

Like clockwork he’s requiring those little green pills, choking them down on empty stomachs. Simon even has to break out what’s left of the sublingual morphine which they hadn’t used since Johnny first came home from inpatient rehabilitation. Only then will Johnny manage to fall into fitful sleeps wracked with nightmares and phantom pains from his missing arm. He cancels all therapy that week, hoping Johnny will return to his baseline soon. Hoping for the days he used to wish away. 

It’s hell on earth. Simon lays in bed beside him, ready to wake him from another nightmare, going on three days without sleep and he wishes that he had been the one in the helicopter instead. Wishes that it had killed him, since he can’t ever wish death on Johnny. Not ever. Not even when his boy begs for it. 

His phone buzzes, and it’s you: I’m free in twenty. Still need me?

Badly. Simon can’t remember the last time he showered. All he wants is fifteen minutes to scrub himself clean and feel human again. All he says though is: Yeah.

You appear just past twenty minutes later wearing a diner uniform. It’s cute: tight pants that hug your thighs and hips, a white button-down blouse tucked in, demarcation where your name tag used to rest.

Simon opens the door and ushers you in, somber-faced, like a pallbearer at a funeral. He goes to the bedroom door and glances in to make sure Johnny is out—there should be no waking him for the next two hours, but if there is one thing Simon has learned, it’s that God Laughs. 

“He asleep?” you whisper, lingering a healthy distance away. 

“Out like a light. I just need fifteen minutes in the shower.”

“I’ll watch him,” you whisper. Then you add: “I looked it up, by the way. What a seizure looks like. Just in case.”

Simon’s stomach drops between his knees. It takes him several heartbeats to realize that he isn’t nauseous out of any fear response, but out of sheer fucking gratitude. The feeling cuts through the fog in his mind like a knife through butter, and he feels like he sees you for the first time: your hair back away from your face, your healing bruises (and the new one on your chin), the embarrassed desperation in your eyes. You’ve latched on to Johnny too, he can tell, likely by some misguided guilt from almost hitting him with your car. But it’s there. He has a feeling that if Johnny were to take a dive off the balcony, he’d be taking you with him. 

You are completely unhinged. Borderline mad, even. Exactly what Johnny needs to keep him alive. 

“Fifteen minutes,” says Simon again before slipping into the bathroom, clean clothes tucked under his arm. When he resurfaces, only 11 minutes have passed. The military taught him everything he could need to know about thorough but expeditious showers. 

You are sitting at the dining table, having chosen the seat that gives you the best vantage point of Johnny’s sleeping figure in the next room through the doorway. Simon expected to find you on your phone, scrolling away, but it is nowhere in sight. You have sat perfectly still, watching Johnny. It would almost be eerie if he didn’t appreciate it so goddamn much. 

“We need to talk about this arrangement,” you say, clasping your hands together. You’re shaking. 

“You want out.” 

“What? No!” You both glance toward the bedroom, but Johnny snores on, in the throes of morphine-fueled dreams. When you speak again, it is quieter: “I don’t mind helping, but I can only check my phone at certain times of the day.”

This is the part where Simon asks why. But the question sticks to the back of his tongue like something unsavory. A more important question: can he afford to care why beyond what it means for him and for Johnny? The bottom line is that there will be long stretches of time where you’re unavailable. He can live with that. He’s been living with it, hasn’t he? 

“I’ll only ever need you when he’s asleep. If he knew I was letting you watch over him, he’d blow his top. I mean that literally.” Simon stands. “You want tea?”

“Tea?” You blink at him like the word does not compute. “Yes, please. Thank you, I mean.” 

“Just tea, don’t get worked up over it,” he mutters, going to put the kettle on. He needs a minute to fucking think. 

This goes against everything he was ever taught. The foundation of his personality is self-reliance, and it has been since he was a boy, since he learned that he couldn’t rely on adults for anything resembling stability. Asking for help feels like tossing up the white flag, like admitting he’s in too deep and he can’t take it anymore. It feels like failing Johnny. 

But there’s construction going on inside him. Those pillars of his personality are being torn down, and in their place something more important is being formed: a shrine to the only person who’s ever loved him that wasn’t his mother. If it’s good for Johnny, Simon must do it, even if it feels strange, even if it goes against all the strategies that have kept him alive in the past. 

When he brings tea back to the table, you try to drink it right away, scalding your tongue. 

“Slow,” Simon says. He didn’t even get the chance to offer you any milk or sugar. 

Face warm as the tea, you drink slower, tongue likely numb. The silence between you grows, adds up, and he catches you more than once looking toward the digital clock inlaid on the stove, like you are nervous and counting down the moments until you can escape. Like Simon frightens you. Fifteen minutes pass and more. You drain your cup. 

“I should go,” you say at length.

“Alright.”

“Thank you for the tea.” 

“Don’t thank me.”

You just nod and slip out of the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind you. Simon sits there for a long time after you’re gone, thinking over the arrangement. Thinking over you. 

You’re in trouble. He just can’t decide if he can afford to take on any more trouble right now. 

His tea has cooled by the time Johnny stirs in the other room, calling out for more pills. 

-

It does get easier. Tooth and nail they fight for every peaceful moment until they are able to string two of those moments together, and then two becomes three. Johnny is back to his old self—often angry, still pained, but with glimmers of the man Simon used to know shining beneath it all like diamonds under dirt. 

Therapy starts again, and so do Johnny’s tasks. 

The tasks aren’t therapy. They’re Johnny’s idea: each few days he picks a task that he used to be able to do before the accident and commits himself to relearning it. 

Today that tasks is unlocking the front door. He stands with his forehead against the oak, knowing Simon is somewhere on the other side, having heard him turn the deadbolt. 

The door has three locks. There is the handle which is the only one the apartment building originally supplied them with. There is the sliding lock, which Simon had installed on day two in the new apartment. It is only ever locked at night when both of them are home, and it is easy enough for Johnny to guide the wide end into the slot. Then there is the deadbolt, also installed by Simon, and easily the trickiest lock of all. Usually it requires the strength of two hands to unlock comfortably—but Soap’s down a hand and short on patience. 

“Jesus, get me in this apartment. Amen,” he mutters.

The key shakes in his hand as he guides it to the lock. It takes some fumbling, but he gets it after just a few moments. Then he must twist while pulling outward at the same time. It uses muscles in his arms that have grown weak with disuse. The key catches for a moment but then slides out of the lock uselessly. He pulled too hard; he did not twist hard enough. 

It’s a delicate balance, one he had perfected without even trying months ago when they moved in. Now it seems like a cruel and unusual punishment. If he can’t get this fucking door open, he’ll sleep out here, undeserving of his own bed. In his mind, the voice of encouragement does not sound so much like the calm soothing tones of Andy—his physical rehabilitation therapist—but instead the borderline abusive dialect of his superiors during his time in the military, the ones who had only ever cared about results and not much about the bodies getting those results. 

Footsteps come from the open elevator, and Johnny casts an irritated glance only to see that it is you. You are dressed for exercise, clingy clothes with running shoes and a baggy top thrown on over everything, drooping off of one of your shoulders. At the sight of you, Johnny remembers the lengths you went to to help him light his cigarette and his heart throbs with fondness, some of his anger evaporating like fog burnt off by the morning sun. 

“Afternoon, lass.” 

“Hi, Johnny,” you murmur, voice near a whisper as you cast a glance toward your own door. Maybe you are thinking about running from him. “Are you having trouble?” 

Johnny’s good mood dissipates. “No,” he lies. “Yes. I don’t fucking know.” 

“Can I help?”

“No,” he snaps. “I have to do this myself.”

“Where’s Simon?” 

“Inside.” 

“He’s locked you out?”

“Aye.” 

Your face changes. He knows you so little that it takes a moment for him to identify the expression for what it is: apoplectic rage. Your hands have clenched into fists at your sides, brows drawn low over your eyes as you glare a hole through the door. You reach out and take Johnny’s hand. He’s so fucking surprised that he drops the damn key. 

“Johnny,” you say. “You can tell me. Are you in trouble?”

“What sort o’ trouble?” 

“Simon. Is he good to you?” 

“Bastard eats my cereal and leaves the empty box behind, but aye, he’s good to me. Better than good. What’s all this about, hen? Simon locking me out? I only asked him to, that’s all—let’s me practice with the key, so I can open it on my own again,” says Johnny, stroking his thumb along your knuckles. 

You let go of him like you’ve been burned, face mortified. “Oh, God. I’m sorry Johnny. I misunderstood. Let me just—”

You bend down and retrieve the key, handing it to him. You can barely look him in the eye as you mumble a goodbye and rush past him into your own apartment, shutting the door solidly behind you. 

Johnny stares after you for a long moment, key held limply in his hand, mind far from the door. At last, he puts the key back into the lock. 

Twist, pull. 

[pisswitch04]

Very long semi detailed diapered fantasy that no one asked for:

I want someone to diaper me for a long road trip cause they don’t want to have to stop all the time so I can tinkle. I would argue that I could hold it if I needed to but they brought up all the accidents I’ve been having recently 🫣. After that I would accept being diapered (but I totally won’t need them I swear). I would feel it not even 5 minutes away from the house but there’s no way I could convince them to turn back so I can pee in the potty like a big girl. I would just decide to wait it out. Maybe they’d need to pee soon and we’d stop at a rest stop. 2 hours in and I wouldn’t be able to stop squirming. I would have leaked at least once and when I leak it almost always leads to an accident. I would have to clutch at my crotch and squirm nonstop to try and hold it back. They would look over and smile at me struggling. “You could always just go peepee, sweetheart”. Hearing that would make me leak again, which would turn into a dribble and before I could stop it I would be pissing full force in my diaper.

At the next rest stop (only 2 minutes away 😣) they would bring me to the bathroom, and sit me on the toilet after removing my soaking diaper and tell me to let go. Hardly anything would come out, I just emptied my bladder 2 minutes ago. So they would tell me to get up, and put me into another diaper. Satisfied, they would then use the toilet like a grown up, and we would be back on our way.

Another hour and I would be back to desperate, this time with a weaker bladder from having just had an accident. It would take far less time for me to burst this time, in fact it might only take a comforting hand over my diaper and telling me it’s ok to go peepee in my diaper 😳. After wetting another diaper they would remind me that if I have a third accident in a row I would be back to being padded 24/7. Another 15 minutes and we would arrive at our destination.

We would grab our stuff from the car, head inside and make ourselves a snack. After eating I would ask if I could maybe wear big girl panties for the rest of the day since the potty was so close, but they would say I should stick to pull-ups in case I got distracted and couldn’t make it in time.

I would begrudgingly agree (I did just have 2 back to back accidents) and head upstairs to read. Reading in bed would be so comfy I just wouldn’t be able to help myself falling asleep all warm and cozy. When they wake me up for dinner I would smile sleepily before freezing, realizing that my pull-up is soaked. I was too sleepy after the long drive and my bladder was too tired so I peed my pull-up in bed 😳.

They would of course be kind about it, gently pulling the soaked pull-up down my legs, trying not to make a puddle while moving my drippy pull-up. They would comfort me while putting me in a nice fluffy diaper and take me downstairs for dinner 💛

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend out after a party after he very Frenchly insulted our cooking?

I (25M) am dating J (27M), and we live together. For the most part he's wonderful, super sweet, and perhaps the most French man living today. He's a walking stereotype, right down to the sexiness. He's Parisian (we live in the states) and has a huge obsession with wine and cheese, and I'll be honest, he can be pretty snobby. He was raised by some well to do old money family that disowned him when they found out he was gay and it shows. He has a few antiquated ideas of what America is like, especially when it comes to food. Anything that has roots he doesn't recognize gets criticized. It's a classism problem, we recognize that, and he is trying to work on it. He slips up sometimes.

We went to a housewarming party two nights ago. It was a potluck deal and I brought a beef chili I had been working on for like two days, it was my pride and joy, and J didn't even have anything bad to say to me about it.

Anyway, an hour or so into the party we went to get food. He had a few glasses of wine, so he wasn't quite thinking straight. It turns out somebody brought homemade Frito pie (and pretty fancy frito pie too, with jalapeños and sour cream and pico de gallo, it was amazing and delicious and I am still dreaming about it), I'm southwestern and it was a staple for me growing up so I tripped over myself trying to get at it. He noticed how eager I was and scoffed at me. I asked what was so funny, and he said it was baffling that I'd go for that first since it was "comically American, down to the fried chips riddled in it." I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

Turns out the friend who made it was standing a few feet away and overheard him. She told us that she worked super hard on making the chili and cooking the pie, and if he didn't like it, he didn't have to have any. I was so fucking mortified I felt like dying. I apologized on his behalf and we stayed for a bit longer, but I was so embarrassed and angry that we left about an hour after that. I couldn't make myself have a good time. As a bit of an apology I left our friend a container of the chili I made and said if she wanted to make a pie out of it I'd be honored, and she happily accepted.

This is where I may be TA. As soon as we got in the car I blew up at him. I told him that he disrespected my culture, my cooking, my taste, and worst of all, embarrassed me in front of a friend and insulted something that brought her joy. I said "if you see Americans as so lazy, stupid, fat, and disgusting, then why are you even living here? Why the fuck do you even wanna be with me? Am I just the only good one to you?" I was laying into him for about 5 minutes. It was the worst fight we'd ever been in, not that we get in many.

He got really quiet after that and just muttered out an "I'm sorry." We were silent the ride home and we went straight to bed when we got there. I even heard him sniffling when we were trying to fall asleep, which was heartbreaking and started to make me feel like I'd fucked up, too. He's been distant for the last few days and I feel like I need to apologize.

Do I? Was I TA? I just got so upset that I couldn't take it anymore. I really love him and I just keep worrying that any second he's gonna say he wants to break up, and I never want that to happen. Any advice is appreciated.

[hsunrry]

winter house // one shot

harry styles x fem!reader

summary: you and your enemy end up together in winter house, with your few other friends.

|| masterlist ||

words: ~4,6k

tropes: enemies to lovers

warnings: smut18+, alcohol, mention of drugs, mention of being hit, angst (slight, i guess), handjob, fingering, oral (m receiving), protected sex, praise

a/n: request from @madstyles3204, angst with happy ending (i guess, i don’t feel it really, i’ll do better next time). i originally planned to do series from it, but i didn’t have that much idea for it, so it just end up being long one shot, enjoy!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

“can you stop touching me?” you snapped into his direction.

“i’m not!” he crossed his arms on his chest. you pointed at his thigh. “oh come on, my legs are long i have to sit somehow!” he said. sitting in the backseat for a long trip with two other people wasn’t really your dream, especially when your enemy is sitting right next to you.

“can you guys just stop?” Niall, who was sitting on your left rolled his eyes.

“why am i sitting in the middle anyway?” you asked. “come on, switch with me.” you made puppy eyes to Niall.

“nuh-uh, you know the rules, you’re short so you’re sitting in the middle.” he smiled. you shook your head, trying to get as far from Harry as you possibly could. you plastered to Niall’s side. he scoffed. “comfortable?”

“can i just go to sleep on your shoulder? we still have like 4 hours of driving.�� you asked, ignoring his question. he shook his head amused, but he quickly nodded after that. you laid comfortably on his shoulder, ready to drift off to sleep. after couple of minutes, you managed to actually do that. Harry frowned.

“did she actually fell asleep that quickly?” Niall only nodded at his question. “finally, peace. i can’t stand her yapping and complaining about everything.” Louis, who was driving only chuckled at his words.

“she’s only complaining about your presence, i can’t really understand why you two don’t like each other that much.” Emma, Louis’s girlfriend said from passenger seat.

“it’s not important.” he muttered, looking at the snow slowly falling from sky. it was getting more snowy with every hour you were closer to the final destination. after 4 hours of sleeping on Niall’s shoulder, you finally arrived to the winter house that you all were renting for almost whole winter season. you woke up when the car stopped, rubbing your eyes.

“looks like sleeping princess decided to join us.” Niall grinned.

“shut up blondie.” your voice sleepy. when you finally walked out of the car, you felt cold winter air hitting you everywhere. you shivered, quickly going to the trunk for your suitcases. Louis unpacked the trunk from everyone’s stuff and you all started taking everything inside. the house was pretty big, for sure for more than 5 people, but it was still looking warm and cozy. wooden walls and furniture, big fireplace in the living area with open-concept kitchen. it was really spacious. one big bathroom on the bottom floor and one a little smaller on the first floor. all four rooms were upstairs, so obviously Louis and Emma were sleeping together in one of them.

“rock, paper, scissors who’s gonna sleep in the room next to Lou and Em.” Niall stated. you raised your eyebrow. “what? i don’t want to hear them fucking, so i think it’s fair.”

“oh fuck off mate.” Louis rolled his eyes, going into the room with his girlfriend and all their stuff. you played with Niall and Harry. they both went with rock and you went with paper.

“looks like i’m the first lucky one.” you chuckled and you could see Harry rolling his eyes. they both played and he won. Niall groaned.

“for fucks sake!” he grabbed his suitcases, going to the room next to theirs. you looked at the two rooms next to each other at the opposite side of the other two ones. you grabbed your two big suitcases and you went to the one of them. they were all identical inside, so it wasn’t really important who’s gonna take which. you walked inside the room. it was perfect size, really cozy, with king sized bed, tv, big dresser under it and two nightstands on each side of the bed. you placed one of your suitcases on the bed, unpacking your stuff to the big dresser and some more important things to the nightstand. after emptying both of them you laid down on the bed, stretching yourself with quiet groan. few minutes later Niall bursted into your room, without knocking of course.

“what?” you mumbled half-asleep since you wanted to take a quick nap and you were almost sleeping already.

“me, Louis and Emma are going shopping for some important stuff and food, you’re almost sleeping so i assume you don’t wanna go?” you nodded sleepily at his question. “do you need something?”

“tampons, Em knows which ones.” you mumbled, covering yourself with blanket. he only nodded and left your room. you took a nap finally, waking up after 2 hours. when you walked out of the room you discovered that they didn’t came back yet, so you went to the living area. you sat on the couch in front of fireplace, taking blanket from the basket to cover yourself. you leaned on the armrest, looking at the fire.

“you seriously have to be there?” you heard Harry’s voice behind you. you rolled your eyes, not even looking at him.

“so what?” you mumbled, closing your eyes. “sorry we have to tolerate each other for whole winter, because you decided that you want to come with us.”

“they never told me you’ll be here.” he snapped. you could heard him going to the open-concept kitchen. he opened the fridge. “it’s empty, it’s been two hours, they seriously didn’t came back yet?” you didn’t responded him. he went closer to the couch, looking down at you. he narrowed his brows when he saw you pretending to be asleep. “are you pretending to be asleep? seriously?”

“i don’t know what are you talking about.” you mumbled.

“you’re such a bitch.” he muttered, walking away to the stairs. you only showed him your middle finger, opening your eyes again to look and relax near fireplace. after some time they eventually came back from shop. they putted like 15 nets with groceries on the kitchen counter.

“we did groceries, you and Harry are unpacking them.” Niall ruffled your hair.

“i’d rather do this alone.” you stood up from the couch, leaving blanket on it. he shook his head.

“there is so much, i’m gonna get him.” without waiting for your response, he stormed upstairs to get him. you sigh, starting unpacking first bag. after few seconds you heard footsteps going downstairs. when he entered the kitchen you looked at him for brief second. “i got this, you don’t have to.”

“oh shut up, i’m here already.” he grabbed one of the nets to unpack it. you bite your tongue to not argue anymore, because there was literally no point in doing it now. you smiled when you saw cinnamon rolls in the bag you were unpacking. you grabbed it, looking at it like you were in love. he looked at you. “ew.”

“what ‘ew’?” you raised your eyebrow while looking at him. he pointed at the cinnamon rolls with his head. “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“no, i don’t know how can you like that.” he shrugged, going back to unpacking his net. you scoffed.

“did you ever even tried this?” you asked, looking between him and rolls. he frowned.

“i don’t have to try something to know that i don’t like it.” he mumbled, not looking at you. “also, they look like someone cum on them, they must be so good.” he said ironically. you shook your head, taking one from the package and biting it. he scrunched his nose. you slid the package into his direction. “what are you doing?”

“just try it.” you said after swallowing. he looked at the cinnamon rolls and then at you.

“you’re so annoying.” he mumbled, taking one from the package and taking a bite. he chewed few times, looking at the roll. he swallowed and licked his lips from frosting. you smiled tiny bit to yourself when he took another bite. “shut up.” he said with mouth full of cinnamon roll.

~~~~~ next day, evening ~~~~~~~~

“are we finally drinking something or what?” Louis grabbed 6-pack of cold beer from the fridge and putted it on coffee table in front of us. everyone grabbed one, except for you. Harry looked at you.

“you’re not drinking?” he raised his eyebrow. you shook your head. “you’re not fun at all, y/n.”

“i’m not fun because i don’t want to drink like the rest?” he nodded, opening his beer. “i never had alcohol in my mouth, for your information.”

“you never tried alcohol?” he asked in disbelief. you nodded. “so you’re gonna try it now. just like you made me try this stupid rolls.” he approached you with open beer can. you could already smell it and your stomach twisted from this.

“i said that i’m not-“ you started, but he grabbed your chin, causing you to open your mouth and he poured a little to it. it was happening all so fast, you didn’t even had a time to react. you spat everything on your hoodie, looking at him with wide eyes. stupid grin plastered to his face. you stood up and quickly went upstairs to your room.

“dude.” Niall sigh and Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. Harry looked confused.

“come on, it was just a joke, she’s overdramatic, like always.” he shrugged, sitting down on the couch. Niall frowned.

“you know her dad is dead, right?” Harry nodded at his question.

“yeah, so what?” he looked at him. Niall shook his head.

“he died from overdose of alcohol and drugs.” he stated. Harry froze for a second and he could feel sick in his stomach. he quickly composed himself, acting like he doesn’t really care about that.

“it’s just a beer.” he mumbled, taking long sip. Louis opened his can.

“you’re an asshole sometimes mate.” he mumbled, taking a sip as well. Harry clenched his jaw and didn’t said anything.

in meantime you went to your room and immediately took off stinky with beer hoodie. you could smell on your body this scent and feel the taste on your tongue. you quickly went to the shared bathroom and took off everything you had on yourself to the washing machine. first you brushed your teeth to get rid of the taste and soon after you stepped into the shower cabin. you washed yourself and your hair quickly. you walked out of the bathroom wrapped only in towel, your hair still damp. you saw Harry going up the stairs. he looked like he was about to say something, but you just went to your room. you went to the dresser to pick up new clothes. you heard a knock on your door. “yeah?”

“can i come in?” you heard his voice.

“if you have to.” you said, grabbing panties and bra from one of the drawers. you heard him coming inside. you looked at him. “what?”

“i didn’t know about your dad, i just wanted to get under your skin as always. i got it too far this time.” he said, biting inside of his cheek. you raised your eyebrow. “seriously, sorry.”

“you didn’t know, just don’t do something like that next time.” you said, not really looking at him and grabbing cotton shorts from your dresser. he nodded. you could feel him staring at you, since you were still only in the towel. “anything else you want or what?” he snapped back to reality after your question.

“uh… no, i just wanted to say that.” he said before he walked out of your room. you quickly changed into the hoodie and cotton shorts, looking through the window at dark winter night. he was acting weird. why would he EVER say ‘sorry’ to you? you shook your head and decided to go back downstairs. Louis and Niall were sitting on the couch together, talking and laughing. you saw Emma in the kitchen, so you decided to approach her instead of the boys.

“how are you feeling?” she smiled softly, referring to what Harry did earlier. you just shrugged.

“i’m okay now, he’s just annoying as always.” you mumbled, grabbing cinnamon roll from the package that was laying on the counter.

“but he care.” she said, looking at you taking a bite. you chuckled and swallowed.

“he don’t care.” you stated, taking another bite.

“he felt guilty, even if he didn’t wanted to show it to us after you went upstairs. you know i’m good at reading even the smallest expressions.” she said while grabbing bagel.

“i mean, he came to me and he said sorry tho.” you looked at her. she smiled.

“can i ask you why you two don’t like each other that much? you never told me.” she took a bite of her food, looking at you in anticipation.

“honestly?” she nodded, so you continued. “i don’t know.”

“wait, what do you mean ‘i don’t know’? you’re telling me that you two ‘hate’ each other and you don’t know why?” she raised her eyebrows.

“not exactly.” you bite inside of your cheek. “i know he have a reason, but i don’t know what’s that reason. he joined for the last year of high school, remember? yeah, so it was a party in my now ex-best friend house and i just wanted to say ‘hi’ and maybe know him a little better, he seemed interesting. that was my plan, but when i approached him, he just snapped at me for no reason and i guess from that day i’m just matching his energy towards me.” you shrugged. “i mean, why would i should be nice and sweet when he’s a dick to me?”

“so you’re telling me, that you two are like that and you didn’t even asked him WHY he don’t like you?” she asked confused. you nodded. “this is stupid.”

“maybe it is, but i’m not gonna ask him.” you said, not looking at her. “it’d be weird now.”

“well, okay, but you’d know at least.” Emma crossed her arms on her chest. you looked at her. you were about to say something, but Harry walked into the kitchen. he looked at you and Em concerned.

“all quiet all of a sudden.” he mumbled, grabbing orange juice from the fridge. you just stood there with her, looking at each other. he raised his hand to grab a cup from the cabinet, but you flinched slightly at his movements, immediately cursing yourself for doing that. ha narrowed his brows. “why did you flinched?”

“no reason, just thought something was falling on me from cabinet.” you said, obviously lying. he was looking at you for few seconds and before he could say something else, you spoke again. “sorry, have to go to the bathroom.” and with that you disappeared upstairs. he looked confused at Emma. she just shrugged. he looked into the direction where you went and he sigh quietly. he putted orange juice back to the fridge, going after you upstairs. he knew you didn’t went to the bathroom, so he knocked on the doors of your room. you opened and looked up at him. “what?”

“you thought i was gonna hit you?” he walked into the room, closing doors behind him. you shook your head. “stop lying!” he raised his voice, causing your flinch again. you looked at him with wide eyes. his gaze softened. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to raise my voi-“

“why do you hate me?” you interrupted him. he looked at you, clearly taken aback. he cleared his throat.

“you kidding, right?” he asked, but when you shook your head he narrowed his brows. “you seriously don’t know?”

“well, i asked so i really don’t know.” you crossed your arms on your chest. he scoffed.

“Lily told me everything at this party, you know that?” you raised your eyebrow at your ex-best friend name.

“what do you mean she ‘told you everything’? what did she told you?” you asked confused, untangling your arms from your chest.

“maybe you don’t know that, but i’m not really a man who like to be played with his feelings by some bitch.” he leaned on the wall.

“i’m confused Harry, what are you talking about?”

“you’re stupid or you just acting like that?” he looked down at you.

“no. i really don’t know what are you talking about.” he sigh at your words, shaking his head in disbelief.

“she told me that you will approach me.” you were just standing, looking at him confused. “she told me that you’ll act all sweet and cute, that you’ll say you want to know me, because i was new in the school.”

“well, yes, but you snapped at me for some reas-“

“i didn’t finished.” he said coldly, stopping you mid sentence. “after that, she told me you’ll do that just for fun, so i will fell in love with you and you’ll have another stupid’s boy heart to break.” he clenched his jaw. you looked dumbfounded at him.

“she said what?” you asked after few seconds.

“i’m really not that tough as i seem. i didn’t want to repeat the story from the school i was going before i moved. you were perfect description of my ex. she played with me as well.” he stated. “and i got just stronger with my opinion, after Luke told us that you played with him, and that’s why you guys broke up.”

“he told you i played with him? are you fucking serious right now?” you snapped, your voice stern. he looked at you and nodded. you bite inside of your cheek. “he used to hit me. that’s why i broke up with him.” he tensed at your words.

“wait, what?” he asked. his voice soft all of the sudden. “that’s why you thought i wanted to… god, i’d never hit you.” he said quietly, looking at you.

“i know, it’s just… reflex.” you started pinching your hand with your nails. “besides, i don’t know why she told you that. i was never like that. i wanted to approach, that’s true, but you just seemed interesting and you were new, i really wanted to know you, that’s it.” you looked down at the floor. he walked closer to you, tilting your chin up.

“i’m sorry you went through this. and for that i believed that asshole.” you shrugged. “no, don’t just shrug it off. i’m really sorry, if i knew this all was just… can we just start again? please.” you looked into his eyes. you could see he really regretted believing everyone and not talking to you back then.

“you really think we’d get along, after all that time playing like assholes to each other?” you chuckled softly. your eyes widened when he hugged you. you froze for a second, hesitantly hugging him back.

“i’m Harry.” his chin rested on the top of your head. you shook your head amused. for some reason you found comfort in his arms.

“i’m y/n.” you smiled, pressing your cheek to his chest.

“i like your name, suits you.” he smiled, tracing small circle on your back with his thumb.

“this is weird.” you chuckled. he chuckled along with you. “you can be real sweetheart if you’re not calling me a bitch all the time.”

“i don’t know what are you talking about, we just met.” he grinned, looking down at you. you rolled your eyes playfully with small smile on your lips.

~~~~~~ three weeks later ~~~~~~~

for the last three weeks, surprisingly, you and Harry get along well. everyone else was confused about your new behavior towards each other, but obviously it was a relief that you don’t want to kill each other anymore. Niall, Louis and Emma went for some small winter festival. you were currently in the kitchen, preparing things to bake cookies.

“what are you doing?” Harry asked, walking into the kitchen.

“cookies.” you said, grabbing flour from cabinet.

“cool, can i join?” he smiled, placing his hand on your lower back. you’d probably never admit it to yourself, but you started to like him more than you should. now, that you two started everything from the beginning, you were falling for him. hard and fast. when he wasn’t a complete dick, he was really sweet, and as you though- unfortunately, exactly your type. you always thought he was attractive, of course, but it wasn’t everything. when you were getting to know him better now, it’s was something you knew you were missing in your life.

“sure, if you want.” you smiled, grabbing few more necessary things. “we’re doing this pinterest cookies with jam. the ones with heart in the middle.”

“i saw them, yeah i know what you’re talking about.” he said, grabbing jam from counter. “cherry. nice, i like cherry jam.” he opened it, taking a spoon and dipping it in it. he ate whole table spoon of it, without anything. you scrunched your nose. “what?” he chuckled after he swallowed.

“you just ate a whole spoon of jam.” you said, disgusted. “it has to be too sweet.”

“it’s good.” he grinned, looking down at you. he licked his lips. “wanna try?” you shook your head playfully.

“okay, i can try. but not that much tho.” you smiled.

“it won’t be much, i promise. just a little taste.” he said, immediately leaning slightly down, pressing his lips against yours. when you realized what was happening, you kissed him back. his hand went on the nape of your neck, when the other one grabbed your hip. when you felt his tongue on yours, sweet cherry flavor hit your taste buds. your hand went into the back of his hair, pulling them softly. you were just kissing with a guy, who you were arguing with for the smallest things for almost two years. the worst part was that you wanted more. so much more. your other hand grabbed the hem of his shirt. he quickly read the signal, lifting you up. his hands under your thighs and your legs wrapped around his hips. without braking a kiss, he started going up the stairs to his room. when you two made it, he placed you on his bed, going on top of you. he broke the kiss, looking down at your swollen from kissing lips. his lips started leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck, sucking in few places. your breath was already getting heavier. “i’m falling for you, darling.” he whispered against your neck. you gripped his chin, pulling him to face you. he licked his lips nervously.

“i’m afraid i’m falling for you too.” he smiled at your words, kissing your lips softly. his hands went on the hem of your hoodie. he pulled back from the kiss, looking at you and silently asking for your permission. when you nodded he took it off, revealing your covered in bra chest. he touched your sides, going up to your chest.

“you’re gorgeous.” he placed soft kiss in the middle of your breast. he looked at you. “are you sure?”

“yes.” you smiled, placing your hand on his cheek. he nodded, reaching to the clasp of your bra under your back. you lifted your chest up slightly to help him. he finally managed to get rid of your bra, so your naked breast was on display for him. he started peppering your chest with slow kisses. you tangled your hand into his hair, hearing him gasping into your skin. you already felt that he was hard, since his body was pressed between your legs. your hands went to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up. he quickly helped you, tossing it somewhere in the room. his hands grabbed your cotton shorts, taking them off. quickly after he took off his sweatpants along with his boxers, revealing his hard cock to you. when he went back on top of you, you immediately wrapped your hand around him, stroking his dick slowly. he groaned, looking down at you.

“i’m really not gonna last long if you keep doing this.” he chuckled softly, gripping hem of your panties, to take them off you. his thumb went on your clit as soon as he took them off, causing your moan. “so sensitive.” he grinned, pushing two fingers inside you. your back arched slightly when he started moving them in and out. “babe, i need to come before we start or i’m gonna finish as soon as i enter you.” he gasped, feeling your hand still stroking him.

“then lay on your back.” you smiled, feeling him pulling out his fingers. he laid down, waiting for you. you quickly went between his legs, bending down and taking him inside your mouth. he groaned, looking at you. his hand gripped the sheets next to him, when you started moving fast on his dick.

“fuck, so good, i’m already close.” he panted, trying so hard to look at you and not close his eyes from pleasure. “can i come inside your mouth?” you nodded around him. your hand stroking the part where you didn’t reach with your mouth. your cheeks hollowed inside, to bring him even more pleasure. with last fast strokes you could feel his release going down your throat, along with his broken moan. you sucked him slowly through his orgasm, letting go of him eventually and swallowing everything. “i need 30 seconds to recover.” you chuckled softly, taking place next to him. he laid you down on your back, propping himself on his side. he started kissing your neck, going down back with his hand to your core and pushing two fingers inside. you gasped, feeling him curling them in perfect angle. he was already hard again. when you were getting closer, he pulled out, going fully on top of you. he grabbed condom from his nightstand, quickly opening it and rolling onto his length. he positioned himself at your entrance. with kiss placed on your lips he slowly slid inside. you moaned into the kiss, wrapping your legs around his hips immediately. he broke the kiss, looking at you when he went fully.

“you can move, it’s okay.” you smiled softly.

“just making sure, don’t wanna hurt you.” he pecked your lips, rolling his hips slowly. you moaned softly at first moves. “you feel so good, sweetheart.” he whispered against your lips. his arms wrapping around your body to be as close to you as possible. he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. your hands went on his back, scratching it delicately when he started moving faster.

“oh my god, yes, feels so good.” you gasped, feeling him smile into your skin. he went even faster and your back arched slightly at the sensation. he adjusted slightly, hitting your sweet spot now with every thrust. you moaned louder.

“found it.” he pecked your neck few times, pulling out from it to look at your face. he groaned, feeling his climax approaching. “you look perfect, you’re so good for me honey.”

“i’m close.” you gasped, looking at him.

“i can tell, i can’t wait to feel you coming around my dick baby, squeezing me so perfectly.” he kissed your lips. you moaned into the kiss when you finished, clenching around him and arching your whole body. your legs shaking slightly around his hips. he fucked you through your orgasm, slowing down with a moan when he finished himself. his arms tightened around you and his cock twitching inside your pussy. his breath hot against your lips. “i think i’ve waited for you my whole life.” he whispered.

[kingkat12]

hickeys (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, mentions of sex, softcore-y smut, tw!bullying, Roman using his powers for no good, he's being so weird about virgin!reader, angsty fluff lol

summary: after having sacrificed your friendship with Letha for Roman's limited understanding of love and affection, you suddenly learn the consequences of your actions...

word count: 7,406 (you know me, not sorry anymore)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9

Roman had a hickey right on the side of his throat. Thankfully, I knew who gave him that one-- me.

It dawned on me that I had never seen him with one before. Despite how easy it was for me to get lost in the feelings of joy, finding a sense of pride at being the only one allowed to do that to him, I remembered Roman hadn't always been open to these sorts of things. He had warmed up to it gradually, with everything starting as a small incident at my place a week ago.

We had been splayed out on my bed, my face buried in his chest as I took a casual mid-day nap on top of him. It had become a habit-- Roman would come over, we'd bicker about something, then make out for about an hour until he decided to take his smoke break on my balcony. But today was different; the both of us had just finished a rather hard math test, so we were absolutely spent by the time we hit my bed. Roman didn't even have the energy to smoke, and seeing how tired he was, I decided to be bold and cuddle up to him; however, I hadn't expected us to fall asleep like this.

Weirdly enough, he didn't resist my advances. He'd usually start feeling uncomfortable as he wasn't used to affection like this, but today, Roman had his arms around me as I laid with my head on top of his chest. I had been a little embarrassed to wake up to the sight of a tiny puddle of my drool on his sweater, and I tapped the spot with my fingers as though that would make it go away.

Roman awoke, groggy. He let out a low grunt as he raised his head, trying to get a look at what I was doing. "Is that what I think it is?--"

"No," My words barely came out louder than a whisper, now covering the spot with my palm as I looked up at him with a soft smile. "Did you sleep well?"

Roman, being the stubborn asshole he was, didn't even register my question. "Did you drool on me?"

Oh God, this was mortifying. I figured he'd find out anyway; I slowly removed my hand from the spot, sliding off him. "Sorry..." As I rolled over, my back against the bed, I could only sigh. Being Roman's unofficial official girlfriend was hard, especially now that I didn't have any friends to discuss it with. 

However, there were moments where the hardships were worth it. Moments like these ones, where Roman now flipped over and unexpectedly snuggled up to me, his face hiding in the crook of my neck. "I've never been drooled on like that before," he said, his words muffled in my hair. "This is my favourite sweater."

With wary movements, I brought one hand up to his brown locks, gently stroking through them. I wasn't sure what the next sound from Roman was, but the closest thing would be a purr. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, my other hand running up and down his broad back. "Want me to buy you a new one?"

Roman huffed; "Don't be stupid. I'll just leave it in the washer here if you don't mind," 

"The washer?" My hands froze, no longer ghosting over his skin with gentle touches. "It will dry up in a second, Roman, get yourself together. And even worse, I might get the urge to wear it if you leave it here." I immediately regretted that joke the second it slipped past my lips-- in hopes of brushing over it, scared he'd climb off me and go back to being his usual self, I resumed running my fingers through his hair and up his back.

To my surprise, Roman didn't react much. The only thing I could notice was a rather shaky breath against my neck, almost as though he had just had a really tempting thought. Eventually, he spoke; "It wouldn't fit you very well,"

I did my best to shrug, although that was hard to do with someone on top of me. "That's not the premise," I huffed. "People usually wear each others' stuff when they're into one another. It's a cute thing."

"... So you'd want me to leave my sweater here?" Roman eventually propped himself up on his elbows, meeting my gaze. "Why? It's not like you'd be able to wear it anywhere."

It was in moments like these that I realized how little Roman actually knew about girls. He was supposedly very good in bed, but with feelings and affection? He was like a very aggressive puppy with gorgeous fur-- some men you simply have to train to be soft. "I'd wear it at home," I said, reaching out to brush his messed up hair away from his green eyes. "Especially when it's stormy outside and I'm doing my homework."

Something about my words seemed to be leaving small cracks in Roman's shell-- had I not been so observant, I wouldn't have noticed the way his pupils dilated or the way his features softened as he looked at me. "Would it be a one-way thing?" he asked; was I imagining things, or did he sound shy? "You get my sweater, and I get..."  Roman propped himself up further, taking a quick glance around my room. It didn't take long before his eyes landed on the plain, black hair ties on my nightstand, and he wasted no time reaching for two in one go. "I get these."

Seeing him so serious about this exchange was too funny-- I couldn't help the giggle building in my chest, suppressing a rather obnoxious laugh. "Yeah, I think that's smart," I murmured, stroking my thumb over his cheek. "Your hair is getting a little long... Would probably make your life easier."

Roman rolled his eyes, huffing. "It's not exactly like you have anything else lying around here!"

There was no way in hell I was about to tell him that my room was this clean because I had predicted he'd come over. "Okay, but it still works," I reached for his hand, taking the ties into my palm before rolling them over his fingers, watching as the rubber bands now sat comfortably at his wrist. "There you go!" I exclaimed, beaming up at a rather perplexed Roman. "Sweater, please."

It took a few seconds for him to react-- his eyes fixated on the black rubber ties around his wrist, and before I knew it, I saw slivers of pink appearing on his cheeks. I had never seen him react to anything like this before, and I had no idea why Roman was suddenly unmistakably blushing. "Fuck," he breathed. "That's cute." 

To hide his blush, he quickly wried his sweater off his body, throwing it away on a chair nearby before burying his face in the crook of my neck again, putting his whole weight back on me. "Promise to use it for dirty stuff too," he grumbled, probably to save face, before pressing a kiss to my neck. 

I was happy Roman didn't see how brightly I was smiling-- I would've been told off immediately, and he'd most likely retract right back into his shell. It was unusual for him to accept any sort of affection, and I wondered whether he had let anyone this close before. The more I got to know Roman, the more he was sleepy and babbling around me, I realized that I had to gradually ease physical kindness into his life to make our weird whatever-ship work. 

The whatever-ship I had sacrificed everything for.

And I would've spiraled deeper into thoughts about it, but the sudden pressure I felt against my neck made me snap out of it-- I realized he was giving me a rather hefty hickey, a familiar tingling sensation coursing its way through my body. I let out a satisfied sigh, my fingers burying themselves deeper into Roman's hair as he moved elsewhere on my neck to make a second one. "These will go well with the sweater," he purred against my skin.

I held back a shiver-- The hate I had once felt for him had quickly turned into whatever this was. All I knew, was that it felt good enough to distract me from the guilt that kept gnawing at me after betraying Letha the way I did. ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

The next day at school actually marked a month since the last time Letha and I had spoken on the bleachers. A month of staring at her longingly from afar like a kicked puppy and asking our mutual friends how she was. It didn't take long before they all heard what had happened between Roman and I, and they suddenly became Letha's friends only.

I didn't know how lonely I would be after I chose Roman, and it was slowly breaking my heart. Being blacklisted by nearly all the girls at school was tough, to say the least. 

So as I rummaged around my locker, getting ready for my next class, I didn't expect Letha to approach. There was no way I could imagine she'd do that, especially after the way she had been denying all my attempts of reconciliation. But here she was, blonde hair styled to perfection, and her green, stern eyes meeting mine the second I closed my locker door.

I stared right back, at a loss for words despite opening my mouth to speak. 

Letha cleared her throat, pressing her books tightly against her chest. "It's been a month," she tried, something about her softening with the weight of her words. "I think I might be ready to... talk."

My heart jumped up like never before, immediately thrown into a feeling of ecstatic victory. "What?" I squeaked, unable to stop my beaming look of joy. "Are you serious?" 

Letha shrugged, biting the inside of her cheek to suppress her smile. "I think it's time to try, at least?--" Her words came to a halt the second I turned to face her fully, and her green eyes immediately found my neck. 

My hair had moved to behind my shoulders as I turned around, revealing the hickeys I had tried my best to cover with setting powder and foundation. It didn't take long before Letha's softening look became one of horror as she took a step back, clearly repulsed.

I immediately went into panic, piecing it together. "No, Letha, wait!--"

There was no stopping Letha before she turned on her heel, bolting down the corridor with heavy steps. 

I turned back towards my locker, pressing my forehead against it. There was no way in hell I'd let everyone see me cry in public again. It felt as though Letha had dug her hand into my chest and ripped out my heart, now squeezing it until it finally popped. My breath hitched as I stepped away from the locker, sniffling as I felt a sob build.

Just as I was about to leave and get to class somehow, the familiar scent of cinnamon entered my system. "What did Letha want?" Roman asked, his hands tucked into his pockets as he approached. His brows were drawn together in a disapproving look as he watched Letha disappear down the hallway in unmatched hurry, and I got a good glance at him when I finally turned around to face him. How long had he been watching me from afar?

Roman's glare quickly faded away when his attention shifted and he noticed the way my eyes had glossed over. His whole tough look disappeared within a sliver of a second, and I was unsure whether he noticed it himself. "... Nothing good, I see?"

I shied away from his gaze, my eyes darting down to my shoes. "She wanted to make up all until she saw... well," To demonstrate, I turned a little, showing Roman the once blank canvas which was now covered in about six hickeys that I counted last night. It was clear to me that my attempt at hiding them had failed.

Roman could only sigh, an infuriating grin now spreading across his face. "I'm going to say sorry now, but know that I don't fully mean it because... the sight of you like this is so damn hot," He leaned down, pressing his lips against my forehead as he took my face into his hands. I couldn't help but notice that he was still wearing my two black rubber bands just as my breath hitched at the loving gesture.

Something about the kiss made my heart skip, but another part was ripping at me; Roman clearly cared more about the fact that he had marked me than how upset I was. I hummed in response, not knowing what else to say before much later; "Don't do that,"

"Do what?"

"Don't kiss me like that," I mumbled, pressing my back against my locker to make as much space between us as possible. "Just... Don't." 

Roman's first reaction was on display with a stunned expression, up until his brows drew together in what I could only read as annoyance. "Fine," he said, teeth gritted. His hands fell down at his sides, trying to save face as he took a step away from me; "I'm just trying to make you feel a little better, it's not that fucking deep." In true Godfrey fashion, he also proceeded to storm down the hallway, clearly flustered after being shut down.

I had to take a long breath-- this was a lot to take in for one day. Roman being in denial about his feelings also didn't help much. I wanted to run after him, grab his hand and tell him that he could do absolutely whatever he wanted with me, that I'd love for him to kiss me like that once more, but I knew I couldn't.

It was hard to believe how badly I had fallen for a guy who could barely regulate his own feelings. Someone who insisted on making it apparent to everyone that I was his without actually wanting to put a name to it. I let out a sigh, watching Roman get further and further away. Something told me I maybe should've followed him, at least asked him whether he wanted to come to my place later and sleep next to each other, but my plans quickly fell apart when I witnessed the one thing I hated seeing most in the world.

In the midst of his angry storm-off, Roman managed to turn his head to allow for his eyes to follow a girl with an exceptionally short skirt passing him by. 

I wanted to throw up-- the hungry look in his eyes made me nauseous. Everything about Roman looking at someone in the way he usually looked at me made me want to burst into tears all over again. 

No matter what I felt for him, one thing would never change; I hated Roman Godfrey. I hated him and the way he made me feel like a stomped bug. Hated the way he'd look at me after he'd make me cum around his fingers, the way he'd stroke my hair away from my forehead with the gentlest touch as I fell asleep, and the way he'd insist on driving me everywhere just to spend some extra time together.

I hated him. I hated this feeling, and especially what it had done to me, my friendships, and my reputation.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

... Thoughts of my reputation went out the window now that Roman was back in my bed. Nothing suggestive, of course-- he was currently half asleep next to me. Even more heartwarming, was the fact that he still wore my two hair ties around his wrist, and I could get a proper look at him now that he was resting. I loved this feeling; we were both wearing the items we had exchanged.

"It looks good on you," he mumbled, tugging me closer with the arm he had around me. "My sweater. I thought I would hate seeing you in it, but it's not so bad."

My body was halfway on top of his, and I couldn't help but giggle as he pressed me closer to his chest. "Why did you think you'd hate it?" I adored the feeling of being completely engulfed in Roman-- the lingering scent of his perfume stuck to the gigantic sweater I was in, and his big arms around me made all my pain feel worth it. 

All up until Roman hummed, eyes still closed as his hands raked through my hair; "You wearing my stuff makes it real... Like you're mine. I don't know whether I want that responsibility,"

I could only sigh, unsure whether I should let my heart sink just yet. Sometimes, it was best to dig around in Roman's mud of a brain before settling for the version he wanted me to believe. "So you would be okay if I was with someone else?"

Roman opened one eye, glancing down at me as he raised a brow. "Are you with someone else?"

"... No,"

"Would you want to be?"

What an odd question; one he didn't need to know the truth of. "Would you care if I did?"

Roman opened his second eye, now scouring my face to check for cracks in my facade. Something told me he wasn't buying it, but that he wasn't about to take any chances. Eventually, he scoffed, rolling his eyes before closing them again; "Fuck off,"

"Fuck off yourself," I mumbled, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I tried to dull out the fact that his arm automatically wrapped itself tighter around me before I spoke once more; "Answer the question."

"Why?" Roman shifted, pulling my whole body on top of his, letting out a satisfied sigh now that all of my weight was laid on him. "It's a stupid question. Why can't we just enjoy this moment?"

He had a point, sure-- I just didn't deem it enough. "I hope you remember that I have a lot on the line here," I placed my hands next to his head, pushing myself up to get a proper look at him. Roman eventually opened his big, green eyes, and they quickly rounded out as they met mine. Everything about looking into his eyes made me want to squeal and pepper him with kisses; this was dangerous territory. I knew had to pull myself together; "I have, like... zero friends because of this. Because I chose you. And you not wanting to take on that responsibility or whatever it was that you called it, makes me feel like crap. You make me feel like crap." 

It was clear that Roman was holding his breath without thinking about it. He stared up at me, unsure what to say; "... All the time?"

"What?"

"Do I make you feel like crap all the time?"

That was certainly a way to spin it-- taken aback, I furrowed my brows as I pondered the question. "Not... all the time, no,"

Roman hummed; he seemed content with that answer. "I know you're upset about the whole Letha thing," he said, his big hands traveling down to grab at my hips as he shifted me to sit in his lap. "I also see that I'm not exactly helping the situation, but... you can't keep blaming me for your decision."

"... Okay," His request was simple enough-- I was ready to adhere to his wishes. "But then you have to say it out loud."

"Say what?"

"That you like me,"

I watched as Roman's eyes widened, his grip on my hips tightening. His whole body tensed up, unsure whether to speak or not. It was clear that he was conflicted about how to tread forward, and I held my breath the second his plush lips parted. Roman sat up, his back now supported by my headboard. Like this, I was sat in his lap with my arms draped around his neck, and he connected our foreheads with a sigh. Roman's words eventually came out like a slow, warm whisper; "I don't know what I feel," 

It felt as though my heart had lodged itself into my throat-- what? I was about to start arguing with him, cursing him out for dragging me through the mud for nothing, all until Roman suddenly reached for my hand. He placed my palm over his heart, his eyes finding mine as he steadied his breathing. "I don't know what I feel," he echoed. "But I know that looking at you makes my heart beat faster. Feel how hard it's going?" He pressed my hand further up against his chest, something about his touch giving away the sincere nature of this gesture. I hadn't seen Roman doing anything this romantic before, and everything was practically perfect all up until he opened his dumb teenage mouth; "I'm serious. It usually only beats like this when I look at pictures of Sydney Sweeney in a swimsuit."

That's it-- I groaned and ripped my hand out of his grip. "Okay, that's enough. You need to leave, it's almost midnight," In an attempt to climb off him, I almost made it out of his lap before his hands grabbed my hips once more, forcing me back down as I yelped. My eyes widened as they met Roman's, watching his signature smirk spread across his lips. 

"Where do you think you're going in my sweater?" he purred, suppressing a chuckle. "My sweater, my rules. Give me a kiss before I leave, at least."

I huffed as I snaked my arms around his neck, feeling his hot breath against my lips. "And why should I kiss you?"

"Because you want to?" Roman didn't care to try to suppress his grin, gently nudging my nose with his as his grip on my waist tightened. His voice dropped, getting airy as he whispered against my lips; "You want to so bad."

Everything about him made the butterflies in my stomach flutter-- it didn't help that his hair was tousled in a classic heartbreaker look, along with how ridiculously soft his lips suddenly looked. 

Roman definitely noticed the reddening of my cheeks, concluding why I had gone mute. "Don't be like that," he teased, not doing a good job with hiding his amusement. "Just kiss me first, for once. Have you noticed that you never initiate anything?"

I held my breath-- "I just... don't know what I'm doing," My confession was unexpected, but it felt nice to get it off my chest. "I don't want you to think I'm clueless."

"But you are?" Roman's chuckle was one of mischief as his hands shamelessly trailed down my body, now grabbing my ass as he pushed me closer to him. "It's not a bad thing. Just means I can program you to my liking."

I didn't even act as though I wanted his hands off of me, giving in to his antics. Something about the way he was holding me made me feel awfully warm-- maybe it was time to take off the sweater? "Tell me what you like, then," I purred, putting my hands on his chest. I figured that if I had gone down this route, I'd continue my path with conviction. 

Roman's smirk only grew, letting out a breathy laugh against my lips as he gave my ass a firm squeeze. "That's my girl," he cooed. "We'll start simple." He nudged his nose against mine once more, his lips parting before his words came out in a hot whisper against mine; "Kiss me."

His words were too alluring to deny-- I leaned forward, my hands carefully laying against his broad shoulder as I kissed him. A sigh of satisfaction escaped Roman, who immediately dug his hands into the flesh of my behind to tug me closer. Everything about the way he was reacting to me reminded me of our first date, and the way he had held and kissed me in the alley when we were hiding from Letha. 

The kiss was slow, almost lazy; something about the moonlight hitting us was making it more intense. It mostly consisted of small, loving pecks, and many pauses to simply smile against one another. I wondered whether he had ever kissed anyone like this before, with a softness I didn't see in him very often. 

It was hard to believe that this was the same guy that had me running around scared for him to prick me with needles. The only thing pricking me right now was the hardening of Roman's cock beneath me. With every twitch, every time his hands dug into my hips in an attempt to grind me against him, I could only grin into the kiss. There wasn't exactly anything sexual about this kiss, but he would always get hard from the smallest little things-- I couldn't help but find pride in it. At least this was another confirmation that he wanted me.

Roman eventually grew frustrated, now trying to rut up against me just for any sort of friction. With that, I grabbed the headboard, raising myself with my knees so that he wouldn't succeed. As he groaned, I had to bite down on my growing smile; the look on his gorgeous face was too damn thrilling.

Roman's eyes were round, his chest sinking with a shaky exhale as a rosy flush lingered in his cheeks. "Anything," he breathed. "Just give me anything. I'll take it."

"Anything?" I wasn't quite sure what he was getting at; "What do you mean?"

His hands grabbed at my waist, signalizing that he wanted me to sit down on his arousal once more-- perhaps that felt like a relief in itself? Roman stared up at me through his brows, his fingers digging into my flesh. "I'm not asking you for sex. I'm being nice. So I'm saying I'll take anything you'll give me... Even the smallest thing," He leaned forward, pressing a wet kiss against my neck which had me losing my breath within seconds, now whispering against my skin; "Just touch me." Roman's needy kisses trailed up my neck, jaw, and cheeks until his breath was hot against my ear. "However you want. Don't be shy, try it out."

Something told me that Roman was secretly into me being a virgin, after all this time of making fun of me for it. However, I wasn't about to say no to the opportunity to explore with the Roman Godfrey, and I eventually sat back down on his arousal, my cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red at the sound of his muffled grunt. 

My hands went up into his soft hair, pressing a kiss against his temple as my fingers stroked through his locks. "There's one thing I might want to try..."

Roman turned to nip at my jaw, his hands traveling back down to my ass. "Go for it,"

I didn't want to give him time to change his mind; my hand in his hair tightened, pulling him away from me with an unexpected roughness. I was about to apologize until I noticed the way Roman closed his eyes, and the way his lips parted in what looked like pleasure. It suddenly dawned on me that he might be the type to like a little pain, not only cause it. However, I wasn't ready to explore that at the moment-- I had another thought to attend to. 

Roman's head lolled back against the headboard as I leaned down to kiss his neck, and it was clear to me that he was enjoying himself. It was only when his fingers dug themselves back into the flesh of my behind that I got the confidence to pull through with my original plan; I sucked down on a particular spot, hard enough to leave a mark.

I didn't need to see his face to know that Roman's eyes were wide open with the realization of what was happening. I was ready for him to push me away, tell me off, tell me to stop-- but his arms only wrapped around me, pulling me closer in a swift motion that had me grinding up against his hard cock, and Roman let out a sigh of pleasure as he let himself be marked with a blooming hickey. 

Something told me I had to be somewhat special for him to allow me to do such a thing, and it quickly dawned on me that I had never felt this happy with anyone before, despite his shortcomings. 

I liked Roman more than I had ever liked anyone before, and I had an inkling that he felt the same. Who knew something so simple could feel so incredibly good?

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Knowing I had Roman wrapped around my finger, despite him not being able to properly say it out loud, had me floating around in my own little bubble. Everything concerning Letha suddenly felt irrelevant, and it wasn't taking up as much space in my mind as before. All I could think about was the way Roman had smiled at me as he passed me in the hall, the red hickey on the side of his neck peeking out past his shirt. The cherry on top of it were the two hair ties he still wore around his wrist-- he was enjoying this, wasn't he?

However, I was yanked back into the absolute shitshow I had caused for myself concerning my girlfriends later that same day.

My previous friends had never done anything more than glare at me from across the hall. Maybe the occasional overdramatic huff when they passed me, an extra eye-roll my way, and so I did my best to not pay it any mind. 

Which is why I was so shocked when the proceeding followed. 

It didn't bother me to sit alone at lunch-- not anymore, at least. I wasn't about to reach out to Roman to ask where he was and whether I could join him either; but just as I picked up my phone, ready put away my nerves and text him, my gaze was diverted from the screen and to the three girls that sat down in front of me.

I held my breath, my eyes widening with the realization that my previous best friends were staring at me with the nastiest looks I had probably ever seen.

Oh no.

Breathing deeply, I did my best to harden my gaze and keep my guard up. "What do you want, Jasmine?" I asked, putting my phone down on the table as I stared down the girl in the middle. Jasmine was the one I had liked the least in our friend group, and I wasn't surprised that she was the one to take action-- the rest of the girls always followed her like dogs, and it had always made me sick; especially now that they were sitting by her like docile animals.

Jasmine cleared her throat, leaning further over the table in an attempt to intimidate me; "We're just here to make you aware of something,"

"Which is...?"

Taken aback by my lack of reaction, Jasmine's eye twitched just slightly as the girls next to her grew more and more uncomfortable. "Letha told me what she saw on your neck. And sitting this close to you, I see it too... Do you not understand how it makes you look?"

There was no way for me to hold back my sarcasm; "How does it make me look? Do indulge, Jas," I couldn't even hold back my grimace at this point. "Why does it even matter to you?"

Jasmine's eye twitched once more, and she slammed her hands against the table with a loud thud. "What upsets Letha, upsets me! I'm just glad I found out what kind of person you truly are, and it brings me immense joy to realize everyone is starting to catch on to the truth as well!"

Despite how hard I attempted to stay neutral, unaffected, and unfazed, I couldn't do anything about the way my heart sunk. I couldn't even muster up anything to counter Jasmine's words, taken aback by the bluntness of my previous friend.

"Letha really wanted to reconcile, do you know that?" Jasmine continued, an evil snicker building in her throat. "But it's fucking disgusting that you walk around like you're proud to be fucking Roman Godfrey, especially when you know how much you've hurt her. Fucking traitor!"

Before I could protest, she reached for my phone which I had left unattended. There was barely any time to pry it out of Jasmine's hands before she stood up and smashed it into the table, the rest of her posse scurrying away from the table before the pieces of glass could hit them. I didn't have to look to know that the whole cafeteria was watching this scene play out; it was only when I heard gasps coming from around us that I truly realized the extent of what had happened.

As the glass from my phone had bounced off the table, the sharp pieces flying in every direction, I had covered my face with my hands. So, when I slowly pried them away from my eyes, turning them around to identify where the stinging of my skin was coming from, my eyes fell on the three pieces of glass lodged into the back of my hands. It wasn't too deep, not enough to scar or cause real damage, but damn-- it burned like crazy. 

With tears in my eyes, I watched as Jasmine snickered, clearly unaffected by the fact that she had caused me physical harm; "We're ready to make your life a living hell," she hissed. "That'll show you. Fucking whore."

Something inside me broke. Usually, I would've fought back, I would've said something-- but I froze. Completely. I had never felt anything like this, the mix of both physical and mental pain turning me to stone.

Fuck. Was this truly how everyone saw me? Nothing more than one of Roman's countless whores?

I knew this would haunt me for the following weeks to come, and I couldn't fight the way my mind shut down. The need to get away overcame me; with shaky steps, I got up from my table, realizing I was about to leave school despite the day not being finished. 

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

I had avoided Roman like the plague for the rest of the day-- I was almost as broken as my phone. I held the pieces in my hands under the dim lights of my desk in my room, nudging the glass around on the table. My phone had completely shattered, now just a heap of technology I held onto for the sake of nostalgia in a deep state of shock.

I kept glancing at my hands, my fingers ghosting over the three thin cuts that had parted my skin. They were thankfully not that grotesque to look at, and I was quite sure I could play it off as a scratch from a particularly large cat if anyone asked. 

Or... so I hoped. 

I wondered whether Letha knew about what had happened. Did she condone it? Had she been the one who ordered Jasmine and her gang to mess with me? Everything about this situation made my head spin-- Choosing Roman might've been the wrong decision. I kept thinking about an alternative universe in which I had never asked him to kiss me in the first place, or one where I had told Letha about my feelings for her cousin before it was too late.

It dawned on me that I had mostly likely made the wrong choice-- how was I supposed to deal with this?

Just as I was about to toss the remnants of my phone into the nearby bin, I heard a few knocks at my window which made me turn towards the sound. There he was, the last rays of today's sunlight making the bronze hues in his hair shine through; Roman tapped against the glass once more, eyes round with an emotion I couldn't piece together from afar.

I walked towards the window and opened it, leaning against the frame as I spoke; "What are you doing here?" My tone was sharper than expected-- seeing him didn't exactly make me feel any better.

"You haven't answered my messages," Roman didn't seem to be in a hurry about getting off my roof, making himself comfortable by sitting down by the window. "All day. Radio silence. I'm not really used to that from you, so... just checking to see whether you're having a stroke or something."

I did my best not to roll my eyes; "A stroke?"

"I don't know?" Roman shrugged, his green eyes never leaving mine. "What other explanation is there for a girl not answering me?"

I grimaced as I watched his expression. It was impossible to push down the intense feelings of frustration when I looked at him, all my love for him manifesting back to its usual hate-- I wouldn't have been in this situation if I hadn't met him. This was technically just as much his fault as mine. 

Why did he look so confused? It suddenly hit me that he was being dead serious; he didn't get it at all. He genuinely couldn't find another reason for my absence. "Oh," was what I managed to say, clearing my throat as I sat down on the window sill. "Have you not heard?" 

Roman blinked twice, clearly lost as he looked up at me. "Heard what?"

My eyes darted down to my hands, which I had covered with the sleeves of Roman's sweater without even thinking about it. "I thought everyone would be talking about it," I mumbled. "I guess that's a relief, then."

"What are you talking about?" The green of his eyes nearly swallowed me, and I found a tiny trace of genuine concern behind them, so miniscule I could barely notice it. "What happened?"

I wanted to disappear into a heap of nothing; it was so embarrassing that I had let this happen. My pride was definitely trying to choke the life out of me. "My phone broke," I breathed, automatically reaching for the hem of the sweatshirt out of nervous habit-- I felt my cheeks flush, nervous to be revisiting the moment that had haunted me all day.

Roman's brows furrowed, unsure how to react; "You made it sound like something really bad had happened. I could buy you a new one, no problem," He watched me pick at the sweatshirt, now reaching out for my hands to stop my destructive fidgeting.

I let out the breath I had been holding the second our fingers intertwined, feeling the roughness of his hands against mine. My eyes rested on the black hair ties he still wore around his wrist, a blooming warmth igniting in my chest and wading through all my anger. I was so swept up in the moment, comforted by the way he squeezed my hands twice, that I didn't catch the moment the sleeves of the sweater bunched up and revealed the cuts on the back of my hands. "You don't need to buy me a new phone, don't be ridiculous," I said, watching a single strand of his brown hair slowly fall over his eyes as he glanced down. "I'd feel bad--"

"What's this?" Roman's grip around my hands tightened, now bringing them up to his face. 

It felt as though my breath had gotten lodged in my throat as I watched Roman's widening green eyes scan the surface of my hands. His brows drew together once more, thumbs swiping over the unhealed wounds. The touch made me hiss, attempting to get out of his grip, but to no avail. "It's the neighbour's cat," I tried. "I bent down to pet it, and--"

"This is not from a cat," Roman's gaze darted up to meet mine, suddenly a lot more intense than usual. "I'll ask you again, what happened?"

I tried to squirm out of his hold once more; "It's not important, Roman... Forget it, please. Actually, I'm going to have to ask you to leave--"

"Tell me,"

"No, seriously, drop it! Can't you just go?!--"

Roman's grip around my hands tightened further, almost to the point of making me wince. "Tell me," His pupils widened at an eerie rate, transfixed on mine. It felt as though his words were echoing through my head, and it didn't take long before I suddenly felt as though my inner monologue froze over.

And before I knew it, my mouth had a mind of its own; "They broke my phone,"

"Who?"

I really, really tried to fight it. Getting Roman involved in this drama was certainly not ideal, and I did my best to push away the urge to tell him; why was it so strong, all of a sudden? It almost felt as though he was controlling my mind, but it was ridiculous to even think so-- that was obviously impossible. Right? 

I eventually got around to answering; "Jasmine," 

"... Who?" Roman was beginning to sound like a really confused owl.

"Jasmine," I echoed. "Letha's friend. She brought a few girls over to my table and smashed my phone. Called me a whore."

Roman was silent for a few seconds, his face going unnaturally blank. "These cuts are from your phone?"

"Yeah,"

"And she did it because you're with me?"

"... Yeah," Did he just insinuate that we were together? I held my breath, unsure why my mouth wasn't adhering to my orders-- I so desperately wanted to point it out, but I physically couldn't. What on earth was happening?

Roman hummed, his grip around my hands loosening. "What else did she say?"

I blinked several times in an attempt to get out of the trance-like state I found myself in, but nothing seemed to be working as long as Roman's gaze was locked on me. "She said she's gonna make my life a living hell," As I sniffled, I realized tears were pooling in my eyes. I squeezed them shut, shaking my head to try to snap out of it once more. "I- It's fine, though." It dawned on me that the trick was to not look at him-- I finally started feeling like myself again. "I just need to talk to Letha and check out the options for a truce, or whatever."

As I dared to open my eyes, I watched his blank face. Something about the lack of reaction was unsettling, on the border of uncomfortable, and it almost made me want to squirm. It was in this silence that a thick, red drop of blood suddenly made its way down Roman's nose, and he didn't react when it met his lips. It was almost as though he had frozen to his place on my roof, and I couldn't remember the last time he had blinked.

My eyes widened, concern filling my body. "You're bleeding," I breathed, trying to get my hands out of his. "Let me get something for you, Roman, it's gonna run down to your shirt!--"

Abruptly, he got up with a quickness I hadn't seen in him before, still not saying a word. Suddenly, I couldn't help but notice it-- the hickey on the right side of his throat. One he wasn't even trying to cover up. Despite how much Roman kept denying wanting to be with me, here he was, getting up to do God knows what whilst quite literally baring my mark on his skin.

I watched him, my brows drawing together in complete and utter confusion. "Roman?" Calling out his name didn't seem to do anything; he let the stream of blood run down his chin, now dripping down onto his shirt. I could only look up at him, unsure why he was acting like this.

Finally, Roman spoke; "Living hell, you say?" His voice was low, threatening-- it was suddenly clear to me that he had gotten a very dark idea.

These sorts of proclamations coming from a guy who had an affinity for pricking girls with needles genuinely concerned me. I got up from the window sill, ready to climb out onto the roof to join him. "Come on, Roman, let's just talk!--"

It was as though he was on auto-control, rushing to the edge of the roof before turning around to climb down. My heart beat hard in my chest as I nearly lunged out of my window, hoping to reach him in time. "Hey, where are you going?!" 

I didn't make it-- Roman had already managed to land on the grass beneath him, his long limbs an apparent advantage, and he was now storming down my lawn towards his car. 

"Roman!" I yelled, crouching down on the edge of my roof; this was definitely not looking good. My mind kept racing as I gave up trying to catch up to him, burying my face in my hands. 

I was screwed. I was so screwed. 

(a/n: check out PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9 if you haven't!! thank you for reading, more to come!!<33)

[kanmom51]

Jikook in bed - Part 3

Are you sure?! Episodes 4 and 5

Before we get started, a little reminder of parts 1 & 2.

Let me start by saying that the occurrences in this post directly follow the whole ramen convo saga.

After speaking ramen and showering (notice how I haven't added the word "separately" there?🤣 ), and spending some time together downstairs all cozy and everything, they both decide to go to bed.

Let's talk about the pre-sleep coziness for a sec before moving on.

Watching the SNTY choreo and talking about it. JM loving the choreo.

Nothing new here folks.

We also got to learn, once again, just how 'informed' they are of each other's business. That's a nice way of saying they know shit about each other even if we don't tell us they do. Like, JM knowing that JK hasn't slept since NY, including on the flight. And if we're on the sleep talk already then funny how JK didn't know his 'husband' 'is struggling with sleeping lately.

And then, as we got to learn throughout the show, the two, once again, make a joint decision to go to bed.

Enough of that.

Let's get to the juicy part of this post, why don't we?

We start it off the two entangled.

JK has zero issue with JM's feet basically in his face.

Well, he did say JM's toes are cute, so...

Do we notice how JK goes for JM's ankle?

Now holding on to JM's foot with both hands (his mobile in his left hand).

And then letting go.

Reminded me of this moment.

And this one too.

JM going for the hug and JK pulling his hand in.

And they stay like that.

We don't know for just how long.

Discussing sleeping together.

It's not about "are you sleeping with me here?" or "where are you sleeping?"

It's "don't hit my nose today... if you do I'll hit you too..."

No questions asked.

Just facts!!!

How long were they just laying like that, calm, intertwined, BEING?

And they clearly do fall asleep together both laying over the covers.

The editors making sure to let us know that the two were sleeping on that one bed.

That angle of the lone empty third bed. Was it really necessary?

But you'll say: JK moved at some point to the third bed. Yes he did. And why? He already fell asleep on the bed with JM.

There is a purposeful omitting of JK waking up and moving to the third bed. They cameras were rolling, and they clearly could have shown us what happened. Makes you wonder why they didn't show us.

My uneducated guess would be that he moved to the bed on the floor because he was cold at night, and didn't want to wake up JM (they fell asleep over the covers and getting under the cover might have woken JM up). We do see JK covered in the morning. A guess, no more.

That was night 1 of Jeju.

Night 2 is a little different. This time they automatically split into 2 beds. Question I ask is why? Were they told to? Did they think it was better that way?

Either way, we see how JK insists on taking the bed on the floor.

And no, that flimsy excuse of preferring the less soft bed doesn't stand with me. I'm going to go with JK not wanting JM to sleep on the floor. Where Tae was supposed to be sleeping, btw. Funny how that worked out...

And yes, they didn't share a bed for the night, but JM sure couldn't go without his morning cuddles.

Understandable.

Notice how we never see JM getting up? We have zero idea just how much time they lay on JK like that cuddling him. Sob sob. I'm going to go with it not being short lived, which is why they cut the footage.

Ok, so that basically wraps up the 4 nights. 2 in CT (the actual night they spent together in bed the whole night we got zero footage of) and 2 in Jeju.

But how can I end this post without JM's wake up alarm for JK? Waking up is still about bed, right?

When I first saw this I didn't get what was going on... and why JM thought it was so funny.

Well, until I saw this.

Those two...

🤣🤣

[genderless-naper]

personal melatonin

trafalgar law x gf!reader , established relationship

mentions of melatonin consumption

lowercase intended !

sfw, word count: 1.2k

gf cant fall asleep without her law !

its no surprise your captain, and loving boyfriend, was working himself well into the night again. it was just something you’ve come to have to accept. you on the other hand made it a priority to sleep on time. you’ve scolded law time after time just for it to go in one ear and out the other. you always told him its ironic how a doctor cares so little about his own wellbeing. if you were lucky you might get a sigh out of him as a response.

law always knew of your struggles with sleep. it was obvious something was wrong when you spent an hour twisting and turning in bed before falling asleep. he decided to let you try a melatonin gummy. “this will help you sleep, but i dont want you taking it all the time y/n”

you looked at it strangely then mumbled “i doubt this would help..” regardless you still take what your boyfriend offers.

the next morning you woke up completely refreshed. no endless thinking, unnecessary turning, position changing, or waking up a million times a night. needless to say you made it a regular part within your night routine.

some nights (rarely) law would make it into bed with you on time. the change in which the melatonin bought was the most apparent to him. when he saw you take one for a few night straight he felt a bit disturbed, “y/n i thought i told you not to take that regularly. its just for sleep irregularities not to be taken daily.” you rolled your eyes at your dramatic boyfriend, “i have sleep irregularities every night! ill be lucky if i fall asleep within the first hour. with these i fall asleep within 5 minutes!”

law sighed while reaching over and pulling you into bed. he buried his head into your hair and mumbled quietly, “i know but i just wished you didn’t rely on stuff like that..” you giggled and your boyfriends sudden embrace. you traced his chest tattoos while beginning to yawn, “they help me feel sleepy..” before you know it you’ve dozed off leaving your boyfriend awake with concern. he reached over to grab the gummy bottle in order to stambles it away from you to avoid future use.

the next morning you wake up refreshed like always. you go on about your day, have food, do chores, watch your favorite show with bepo, and more. when it comes time to sleep you wish your loving boyfriend a goodnight while he stays in his office, and make your way to your shared bedroom. you made your way through your nightly routine just to not be able to find your sleep aids anywhere. “i swear i put them on the table last night..” you say to yourself in confusion. you start to search for them. you give up 30 minutes into the search and accept defeat for the night, “maybe one night wont be horrible” you think

it was indeed very horrible. every turn, every twist, every thought, every eye movement, every position just pushed you further away from falling asleep. you look at the timer that reads an obnoxiously big ‘3:00AM’.

you walk into his office to see him completely consumed in his books and surrounded with a few coffee mugs. you stand in front of his desk with arms crossed, “baby i need gummies”

law looks up with a raised brow, “what happened to the ones you had?”

the shambled away bottle had completed vanished from his mind until that moment. a small wave of guilt washing over him as he stares at your sleepless figure, and realizing he’s the cause of your current sleep trouble.

you whine while telling him how you searched everywhere yet they’re no where to be found, “and now i cant even sleep! i just wanna fall asleep comfortably like all the other nights …”

guilt now starts hitting him like a tsunami. he puts his book down and puts his notes onto one side of the desk. he immediately shambles you into his lap and holds you close, “you need to find a natural way to fall asleep without relying on that stuff every night. it isnt good for you baby.” it was strange for your boyfriend to be so affectionate, but you didnt fight it. easing into his warmth, his arms, his smell made your eyes feel heavy. he begins to stroke your hair while rambling on about withdrawal symptoms and a bunch of other nerdy facts. you giggle at his passion for what he studies, but you cant deny how insanely boring his mini lectures can be. you yawn and get more comfortable in his arms.

“law can you come to bed..? please?” you look up to meet his sleepless eyes.

he hesitates to respond while glancing back to his work, “i have a lot to do-“

you suddenly cut him off sounding a bit more desperate, “i just want you to help me sleep! i just wanna be in your arms. maybe it will help…” you grip his sleeve not wanting him to reject your offer.

he cant say no when you’re asking for him. he would give you the world if you asked. his books and notes seemed mundane compared to being with you when you needed him. it filled him with a sense of purpose that no ounce of knowledge could give.

he shambles you both to your shared bed. once you realize he’ll be in bed with you tonight you cant help but to pepper his face in kisses ecstatically, “iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilov-“ another yawn escapes your lips

his lips tug slightly upward as he pulls the blanket to cover you both. he hugs you to his chest and strokes your hair, “its time you go to asleep y/n”

you shake your head slightly and lightly grip his shirt. he looks at you confused, “no? you need to sleep”

an additional yawn escapes your lips while you try your best to fight against them, “i know but if i sleep you might go back and leave me here… i want you to stay and you rarely stay with me..”

another wave of guilt hits the man like a tsunami. he came to the conclusion that he was the reason for your sleepless nights. when he was with you it was as if he became your personal melatonin gummy. you drifted into sleep without any hassle. it was hard to not fall asleep while being in the embrace of your boyfriend.

law mutters unheard apologies to your sleeping self while kissing your forehead, “ill do better. i want you to have the best y/n… i love you-“

a sudden unexpected yawn escapes the doctors lips. it surprised him since he doesnt yawn much (or maybe he just doesnt pay much attention to when he does)

he pulls you closer while getting comfortable. he didnt fight the sleep. the situation worked out for him anyways. soon enough the once sleepless doctor found himself slowly shutting his eyes. his last thought was realizing how much he truly enjoyed you being in his safety and embrace. maybe he should tweak his schedule to include bedtime with you 🩶

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 10]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Words: 4.2k

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

When Minnie was six months old, you used to sleep on the couch so you wouldn't wake her up trying to get ready for bed. It would hurt your back - your couch was not very comfortable to sleep on - but you would sacrifice your comfort so she could sleep. No one in their right mind would wake a sleeping baby - even one that was always happy to go down for a nap. 

As your mind begins to stir, you become aware of the familiar ache in your lower back and the unfamiliar one pulsing around your eyes. Your hand slowly snakes up from where you had curled it against your chest and press your fingers along the bridge of your nose and up to the curve of your eyebrow, testing to see if the throbbing was sinus related. Nothing is triggered but your memories of the night before creep into your consciousness. 

Minnie with her tantrum and Matt with his amazing senses. 

You groan into the cushion as it all falls into place. Your eyes hurt from crying, not your sinuses, and you must have fallen asleep on the couch after your breakdown. 

Shame and embarrassment course through you. You hate crying and you hate that someone witnessed it. You can't imagine what he must think of you now - losing it like that. You should have been able to handle the news far better than you had and you're going to promptly apologize the next time you talk to him. You had acted so selfishly when it was clear he had control over the situation. 

But you don't have time to sit and wallow in your wretchedness - your daughter needs you to get up and be a capable adult, so you will your aching body to sit up. 

Your phone is sitting on the table in front of you, so you grab it to check the time. It's half past seven and your daughter has probably been awake for at least an hour. More shame courses through you - you always try to wake up before her so you can take care of her. You can only guess what state she is in. 

Your head spins as you stand, but you try to ignore it in favor of heading towards the bedroom. You prepare yourself to find a soiled bed - you didn't bother to change her into her night clothes and a pull-up and she is still mastering waking up when she needs to pee at night. 

The door is partially open and as you near it, you hear her tiny voice talking nonsense as she plays with something. You take a deep breath and push into the room, ready to face the start of your day.

Your mind short-circuits at what you encounter.

Both beds are clean and made, far tidier than you usually make them, and Minnie is sat on the floor with Scooby and some of her other stuffed animals, having what looks to be a tea party. To your absolute confusion, she is already dressed, and her hair has been put into pigtails with mismatched bows. You know for a fact she can't reach where you keep her hair supplies - you put them on a high shelf after she got into them to play salon before and managed to get her hair tangled so badly you had to cut things out. 

It doesn't even take her half a second to notice you and her little face breaks into the biggest smile, “Mommy!”

Still very much confused, you step forward to join the tea party circle and kneel down to be level with her. “Hi, sweetie,” you greet, trying your best to not alarm her. “Did you get dressed all by yourself?”

“Not-uh! Mister Matt helped! We watched lots of videos about hair and he made me pretty!”

You frown at that, “Mister Matt helped?” Had he stayed the night after you fell asleep? If so, where is he now? Your apartment isn't that big, and the bathroom door is open. Had he left before you woke up? You don’t like the idea of him leaving Minnie unsupervised.

Your daughter nods as she turns back to her toys, pretending to pour you a cup of tea and handing it over. You automatically pretend to take a sip.

“He helped make me pretty,” she confirms after putting her tea pot down, “now he's getting foods. Bagels!”

You turn the statement over in your mind - there is a bagel shop around the corner Minnie loves and if Matt is right about her also having enhanced abilities, maybe, just maybe, he didn't leave her unwatched. 

You bite your lip, then dare to push.

“Mouse, do you think you can tell me where Mister Matt is right now? Can you hear him?”

She doesn't acknowledge you right away, fussing with another piece of her tea set. You wait, allowing her to process what is being asked of her and watch as she slowly starts to move her head in minute movements, like she's tracking something. It's terrifying and fascinating to see a look of concentration come over her face and after about thirty seconds, she breaks into another big smile.

“He's talking to a frog!” 

“A frog..?” You ask, wondering if Matt was wrong about Minnie having heightened senses and she's playing pretend again.

“Yeah, he says…he says.. He's telling froggy he can't go to work. He's gonna stay with us!”

It clicks instantly. Matt isn't talking to a frog. He's talking to his business partner, Foggy Nelson, and as far as you know, Matt hasn't mentioned him or Karen yet by name to Minnie. 

“Can you tell where he is?” You ask again, being sure to be gentle with your question. 

“Outside,” is her response, like it is the most obvious thing in the world. “Froggies can't come inside. Do you want sugar?” She holds up her toy spoon and you offer her your tea cup.

“Yes, please.” 

She pretends to scoop sugar and you watch her in amazement. You are of course going to have to confirm that Matt was talking to Foggy, but it is so hard to believe your little one can hear that. You can't hear what is going on in your own living room, let alone outside your apartment. You cannot imagine how loud everything must be, how much input Mouse must be getting - but she doesn't seem bothered by it at all right now. 

She seems to be completely over her tantrum from yesterday and you want to ask her about it, but you aren't sure how or if she has the ability to express it. You know there are days you get overwhelmed and upset and you can't think of another way to explain it other than “too much”. You can't expect a three year old to articulate it better than you can. 

She's got a sweet little smile and part of you fears if you bring up her previous upset, it will spiral right back into a meltdown. So, you watch instead - watch as she goes back to playing make pretend with her toys, seemingly unbothered. You sip at your tea, making up a list of questions for Matt when he returns from his errand. 

Minnie plays for about five minutes before she perks up, beaming up at you, “Mister Matt asks if you can open the door, please thank you."

Her statement throws you for a moment and you aren't sure how much you like the idea of her being able to tell you all these things. It scares you - her knowing things you don't and not knowing what she does know. 

Maybe it is one of the things you and Matt can talk about - then talk about it with your sweet Mouse. You are going to have to get used to it, either way.

You push yourself into standing and motion for Minnie to come along. She scrambles up and runs out of the room, delighted laughter following her.

You are still in your clothes from the night before and you wish you had taken a moment to check your hair or even brush your teeth. You try to tell yourself it is fine, but your anxiety just argues back, and you feel like a complete slob by the time you get to the front door.

Your stomach and heart both do a funny clench at the sight of Matt, who is still sporting his borrowed shirt. You don't know if you want to fall into his arms or throw up or go hide under your covers so you can pretend all of this is a dream. Instead, you step aside so he can come inside and silently beg your mind to stop collapsing in on itself. 

“Breakfast delivery,” Matt says as a greeting, his entire face lighting up with a smile. He's holding a bag from the shop around the corner in one hand and a drink carrier with two large drinks along with a small one in his other.

You can feel your face starting to heat up and force your eyes down to the ground, mumbling, “you didn't need to do that.” 

He shrugs as he toes off his shoes, “I wanted to, and someone,” his voice turns teasing as he directs his next comments to Minnie, “wouldn't stop talking about bagels.”

Your daughter erupts into giggles, then turns and runs back towards the kitchen. Matt gives a pleased laugh, and your stomach flips again. He follows Minnie, and after you relock the door, you join them. 

They are sitting at the dining table, Mouse watching with a big smile as bagels are laid out on the table. Matt narrates for both of you, “Three egg bagels with plain cream cheese, two large coffees, and one kid’s hot chocolate. Now, is that the right order or was someone taking advantage?”

Minnie giggles more and that relaxes your shoulders. “No, that's right. Thank you, you really didn't -” You cut yourself off as you realize the table is clear of any mess from the night before. There are no plates on the table or in the sink, there's no lasagna stains on the floor, there's no leftovers sitting out. Your eyes drift to Matt. 

He must have cleaned after you had fallen asleep. Guilt courses through you - he shouldn't have to be dealing with your messes, especially in your own living space. You are going to need to not only apologize but return the favor somehow. You aren't sure how you'll do that - no one has ever done this much for you before, and Matt has done so so much in such a short time. 

You're dragged from your thoughts as a coffee is placed in front of you. 

“It's just black, I didn't know how you took it,” the kind, handsome lawyer says, and your heartbeat is so loud in your ears. It beats harder when you remember that not only can he hear your body and mind freaking out, but so can your daughter. 

Your instinct tells you to panic at the idea of someone knowing that much about you. You always try to stay calm on the outside while having a meltdown, but that doesn't matter with him. He'll know you're a mess. You can't hide it. 

You hear Matt ask Minnie something about her tea party and watch as she skips away from the table, but it's like your mind doesn't process it. You feel completely frozen because you don't know how to act - you don't know how to hide yourself from the man in front of you. You don't know how to hide yourself away from your daughter. 

How can you protect her from yourself? Your own body?

Suddenly, Matt is in front of you, cupping your cheeks with his large, warm hands and whispering your name. He's practically right on top of you, gently rubbing his thumbs over your skin, “Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. Everything is okay. Can you take a deep breath for me?”

“What?” You ask, so confused about what is going on. You don't understand why he's saying it's okay. 

“A deep breath, sweetheart. Can you take a deep breath?”

Your mind will not wrap the reason for the instruction, but you do as you are told. You inhale through your nose and that earns you a soft smile. He continues to pet you, gently instructing you to exhale after a moment and you obey. 

“Again?” He prompts and you nod. You feel shaky as you try to focus on breathing. You've always hated these exercises - they've never worked for you and have only served to frustrate you, and now you are just trying to make sure you are doing it right. How embarrassing would it be to fuck up breathing in front of Matt? 

“That's it,” he says so calmly, “Just breathe. I know it's a lot. I know. One step at a time. Let's have some breakfast, okay? Let's sit and have coffee and we can all talk. How's that sound?”

It sounds good, it sounds like the right thing to do, but your throat is clenching and not wanting to produce words, so you nod instead. 

You close your eyes to try to center yourself and somehow calm down. Matt lingers, keeping a hold of you until you hear Minnie coming back to the kitchen. It seems like he waits until the last possible moment before pulling away. 

Seeing your daughter looking so happy helps to reset your mind. She's fetched Scooby and Pig and runs up to the table to put them in their chair. You smile at the sight.

She really does seem like she's perfectly fine and maybe Matt is right and everything is okay. For now, at least. 

You force yourself into action, moving to set one of the bagels in front of Mouse, setting it on a napkin. You're going to need to transfer the hot chocolate into a mug or Mouse will spill on herself.

“Thank you, Mommy!”

She practically dives into her bagel, picking it up and taking a big bite and getting cream cheese on her cheeks. She is completely engrossed with her food.

“Thank Mister Matt, he got us breakfast,” you advise before going to get a napkin. While you are in the kitchen, you grab your creamer from the fridge.

“Thank you, Mister Matt!” she chimes before barreling on. “Mommy, did you know Mister Matt can braid hairs!”

Guilt courses through you and you remind yourself you need to thank Matt for everything he has done for you. But you tell yourself to not think of it right now - you are terrified of Minnie sensing your panic and that somehow shuts your mind down and you go into parent mode. 

“No, I didn't. Did you ask him to braid your hair?” You ask as you move in to wipe her face. She obediently tilts her face towards you and closes her eyes as you clean away the cream cheese. In the corner of your eye you see Matt sip from his coffee, a smile forming in his lips.

“She wanted puffs,” he advises, “I learned a lot of new hair terminology today. Minnie is a very good teacher.” 

Your daughter preens at the praise before taking another bite of her bagel. More cream cheese gets on her face. You decide to wait until she's done eating before tidying her up again. It will be pointless otherwise.

Instead, you start to fix your coffee, removing the lid to add creamer. You eye your daughter as you do, letting yourself finally take in her appearance. 

“You're a good stylist,” you tell Matt, and it is true. Her pigtails look even and as smooth as can be expected for a toddler. You don't see any tangles and if Minnie is happy, you have no grievances with the outcome - only guilt that Matt was the one who dealt with it. 

“I have some experience,” he hums, before taking another sip of his coffee. Then he directs his smile to his daughter, “my best friend used to have long hair. He has little nieces and they used to do his hair at Christmas, and I got roped into helping. I'm told I do a pretty good French braid.”

Mouse giggles before gasping and pointing at you, “do Mommy's hair!”

Embarrassment floods you - you don't think anyone has done your hair since you were Minnie’s age, and your current hair is a gross greasy mess and you don't want anyone touching it. 

Matt hums as he tilts his head towards you, “I think Mommy is better at doing her hair than I would be. But maybe next time?”

“Maybe next time,” you agree, hoping that will be enough to deter your daughter from this path. 

Luckily, she quickly parrots, “Next time!”

You offer her a smile and take a much needed drink of your coffee. It not only warms you but helps to ground you back into reality. 

You remind yourself nothing has actually changed - you are just more aware of the world. To Minnie, this is the same as any other day and you need to get yourself back on track. 

Which means you need to confirm some things with Matt. 

You set your coffee down, then pick up Minnie’s hot chocolate and bring it to the kitchen to transfer into one of her kid-friendly tumblers. You clear your throat, then dare to try, “Minnie said you'd be spending the day with us?”

“You told the froggy!” Mouse happily adds.

Matt looks confused for a few seconds before it must click, “Foggy, sweetheart, not Froggy. Foggy is my best friend - the one who had long hair.”

“Froggy!” Is the defiant response and you know better than to argue. Once something is named, the name sticks. But of course, Matt doesn't know this and you decide to let him learn.

“Foggy,” he tries. “Like a cloud. Not a frog.”

“Froggy!” 

“Fog. Foggy. No ‘r’.”

“Frog. Froggy! Froggy! Froggy!” Minnie bounces in her seat, starting to giggle. You return to the table, securing the lid to the sippy tumbler before placing it down.

“Ribbit ribbit,” you add and that gets you a delighted burst of laughter.

“Ribbit ribbit!”

Matt practically pouts but seems to realize he isn't going to win this. “But yes, I… told Foggy I wanted to spend the day with you. When I was in the phone, outside.” His dramatic sad face turns into something soft as he tilts his head towards Minnie, “Did you tell your Mommy you heard me?”

“I, uh, asked if she could,” you say, feeling silly for admitting it. But you know this is the path you need to take to start understanding what enhanced senses mean.

“I can hear everything,” your little one proudly says, and you've heard her say it before - but now you know she isn't just playing pretend.

“Yes, you can,” is Matt's soft reply. Unlike your underlying panic, his voice seems to carry a fondness about the whole situation. He is the one with the experience and you want to trust him with the lead on this, but it's still absolutely terrifying. 

But you know you need to set the ball up, so you gently push, “Did you know Mister Matt can also hear…everything?” You know it's not everything, at least by what Matt said, but you aren't going to get technical with a toddler. “Mommy can't, though. Mommy’s hearing isn't as good as yours and Mister Matt's.”

Mouse looks between the two of you, pursing her lips up as she thinks, then she reaches out and pats your arm comfortingly, “I'll tell you what I hears, Mommy.”

Your heart soars with so much love and you turn your hand so you can take hers and give it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, baby.” 

“I can hears a bark-bark dog and a woofy dog,” she starts, “and there's a puppy going ‘yip-yip-yip!’”

Matt laughs a little and your focus is ripped away from Minnie and over to him. He absolutely beams at you, looking proud as can be. You wonder what this like for him - having someone else who can hear what he can.

“There's a doggy day care about two blocks north,” he informs, and it is so hard to wrap your mind around the fact your daughter can hear that far. “Clients are starting to arrive, and they are lively.”

There's a flash of brown and Minnie is waving Scooby at Matt, “Bark bark bark!”

“Is Scooby a barky dog?” He asks, leaning forward towards her and putting his elbows on the table. “Not a woofy dog?”

“Bark bark!” Is the response before Mouse makes him growl. You finally allow yourself to sit and watch the sweet interaction. Everything still feels like it's too much and swirling inside you, but seeing Matt and Minnie bond is soothing - even if it's over something you can't understand yet.

“What about Pig? Does he go bark-bark or woofy?” 

His question gets Minnie to gasp as if she's scandalized. “Pig isn't a doggy!”

“Oh, he isn't?” Matt teases, “I can't see him. What is he?”

“He's a piggy!” She snatches up Pig and clutches him to her chest beside Scooby. You hope she doesn't have cream cheese on her fingers because cleaning her toys is always an adventure. She hates when they have to get washed and now, you guess, you understand why. They probably smell different after being washed or the texture is off. It's something you'll have to explore later.

“What type of noises do piggies make?”

“Oink-oink-oink!”

“Oh, that makes sense,” he hums, then hunches forward more and lowers his voice, like he's talking in secret, “And what sounds do little girls named Minnie make?”

You finally get to take a bite of your bagel as you watch her contemplate the question. Her face screws up in thought before lighting up when she decides her answer.

“Ooogie-boogie-boo!” 

Matt throws his head back with laughter, which makes Minnie dissolve into happy giggles. The sheer joy between the two of them pulls a smile out of you and the heaviness in your chest starts to lighten more. 

“Ooogie-boogie-boo?” You question and your daughter giggles more. 

“Ooogie-boogie-boo! Like Scooby!”

You don't understand what that means but you just let the positivity continue. 

“What about Mommy? What sounds do I make?” You ask, curious what her response will be.

“Bumbum-bumbum.” They aren't words, but you instantly get it is supposed to be your heartbeat. You feel yourself start to flush. Matt had told you that Minnie listens to your heart to ground herself, so of course that is what she associates you with. But hearing it from her mouth and getting that confirmation still rocks you. 

“It's a good sound, isn't it?” Matt asks Minnie and you can imagine how red you are turning. You try to hide behind your coffee.

“The bestest,” Minnie agrees before adding, “After Scooby Song. Scooby Dooby Do! Where are you!”

“We've got some work to do now,” you half mumble, half sing with her.

“I've never heard the Scooby song,” the man beside you says and that triggers Mouse into action. She slides off her chair, and still clutching her toys, hurries across the room to the television. She knows how to bring up what she wants, so it only takes a few seconds before there is an episode starting to play on screen. 

She drops her toys and the remote before running back to Matt and tugging on his - technically yours - shirt. “You gotta listen!”

He barely gets to stand up before being pulled into the living room. He does not resist in the slightest to being directed to sit on the ground and you watch as Minnie begins to explain the intricate lore of her favorite show. To your wonder she describes each character by their voice first and you can tell Matt is completely enthralled by what he is being told. Scooby gets moved from laying on the floor to being shoved into Matt's lap so he can hold onto him. 

You realize without fanfare that you can barely hear the television. It is still on low volume from last time you had it on, and it dawns on you that you never really have it turned up too loud. Minnie can probably hear it just fine and doesn't need it blasting throughout the apartment. You never got to really watch television as a kid, and you wonder what the normal volume for watching things is supposed to be. 

You sip at your coffee, watching as Minnie plops herself next to Matt on the floor, going on excitedly about mysteries and different sounds. Both of them are smiling and laughing like they don't have a care in the world. 

This is what you want your life to be like, you decide. 

You want your family to be full of love and joy and you have fought so hard to get to this point. You've climbed your way out of a cold and distant household to make your own little corner in the world and right now you need to enjoy it instead of letting your mind be taken over by darkness and despair.

So, you set your coffee down and move to join your daughter and her father in front of the television, asking in a teasing voice, “So who is the blonde man again?”

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 

@

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13

[janeyseymour]

Love Thy Neighbor- pt 5

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4

Summary: Melissa helps you out. It's not helping the feelings that you have for her.

WC: ~2.15k

You’ve been teaching for a few weeks at Abbott a this point now, and you are eternally grateful for this job. You get to take Ellie with you to school, you don’t have to race around to pick her up after. The staff is nice enough, and your kids are wonderful. They absolutely adore you more than anything. Receiving drawings and cards is an almost daily occurrence, and it melts your heart- your students out in Utah never did things like this. 

You work closely with Melissa during your preps to make sure that your room is going well, and any questions that you have you’re able to ask her. She’s so willing to help you with both big problems (realizing that you have no teacher’s manual for the science unit that you’re set to start the next week) and the small (standing in between your classrooms when you have to use the bathroom so desperately you’re afraid you’re going to get a UTI).

( “Fuck,” you curse softly during your prep while you’re ripping every drawer and cabinet open in your room.

“What’s going on, hun?” She magically appears in your doorway. “You look frazzled, and I can hear the cabinets opening and closing over in my room.”

“Shoot, sorry,” you turn and sigh softly. “I can’t find the science manual that I’m supposed to be basing these science lessons off of.”

“That may be my fault,” the redhead admits with a smirk. “I hated it, so I burnt it and made up my own lessons. You have all the materials for what you have to get done, and I can help you out at home tonight if you bring your planner home.”

“I’ll make dinner.”

—

You’re squirming in your chair, desperate for the bathroom. But your kids are taking a test, and every time you pop your head out the door, there is no one there for you to pull into your room for a quick three minutes while you rush down the hall to relieve yourself.

Melissa appears in your door though to ask you a quick question, and she can immediately see the discomfort written into your face.

“Are you okay?” she asks softly as she makes her way over to your desk.

You shake your head. “I really have to-”

“Go,” is all she has to say for you to take off in the direction of the bathroom.

You come back a few minutes later, much more relaxed now. “Thank you. What’s up?”

“Just came to see if you needed any copies made- I’m sending Ashley to do some… woman’s driving me nuts lately.”

You roll your eyes fondly. “There’s a stack of papers there to be copied and filed if you want to send her in… and I can always come up with other ways to keep her occupied and out of your hair.”

“That would be great,” the redhead smiles at you softly. “Thanks.” )

All of these situations at school, combined with the ones at home are not helping the feelings that you have developed for the fiery redheaded second grade teacher.

At school, she’s sweet enough, but outside of school hours… it’s even worse.

You have your car now, but she still insists on carpooling with you.

( “It’s more cost efficient, and Jacob isn’t on my ass about burning too many fossil fuels now that we come in together,” she rolls her eyes.

“At least let me drive,” you sigh.

“Her booster is already in my car,” Melissa retaliates. “Just get in.” )

Ellie insists on spending time with her whenever she can, and when you think that it’s getting to be too much for Melissa, she’s waving you off and telling you that having the two of you around is the best thing that’s happened to her. She helps Ellie with homework while you’re lesson planning, she insists on making dinner at least twice a week, your little girl is on her hip at dismissal everyday and falls asleep- only for the redhead to shush everyone around her before she carries her out to the car, the two watch cartoons together and snuggle… she’s really stepped up and stepped in for your daughter when she needed some extra love and care.

And with doting on Ellie the way that she does, she’s also doting on you.

( “You eating enough?” she asks you one day when she sees that you’ve hardly touched your meal. You’re instead pouring over your kids’ essays and grading them frantically.

“I’ll eat after I finish grading these and putting them in,” you wave her off. “You and Ellie eat.”

“We already did, Momma,” your daughter says from the couch, reaching for the television remote. How’d she get there?

Before you can respond, there’s a forkful of gnocchi being held up to your mouth, and Melissa is sitting there giving you a look that says not to argue.

“Thank you,” you sigh softly as you open your mouth. She feeds you the rest of your dinner, despite your daughter begging for attention from the redhead.

Only when you’re finished eating does the woman go and pull the little girl on the couch into her lap.

You continue to grade until you have both of them standing at your side. Or, Melissa is standing at your side while Ellie is clinging to her, settled on her hip.

“Momma, you have to come tuck me,” your little girl yawns out. “Miss Mel said it’s bedtime.”

You glance up at the clock to see that it is indeed Ellie’s bedtime. Your heart melts at the thought that the redhead has so seamlessly integrated herself into your life that she not only knows your daughter’s bedtime, but is able to implement it without your daughter making a fuss over it.

The two of you get the little girl into bed and read with her before flicking off the light. You make your way back to the kitchen table to continue grading, and when you expect her to leave, she instead sits down and takes a hefty portion of the grading that you still have to do. Her glasses are on her face, and her eyes are trained on the work in front of her. She grabs one of the pens that you have sitting on the table and opens it to mark a few things.

You’re so busy watching her that you forget to continue grading yourself. She nudges you gently.

“I’m tryin’ to help you, hun,” she chuckles. “You gotta do some work though too.”

You take the graded papers are start entering them into grade book with a sigh. With the two of you working together, grades get put in rather quickly. You can’t help but grin at her sleepily as she grades the last one for you, and you enter the number. 

“I think you just saved my life,” you sigh softly. You lay a gentle hand over hers and squeeze it gently.

“I think you need some sleep, hun,” she tells you gently. “Get to bed, and I’ll see myself out.”

“Or we could just hang out on the couch?” you suggest. “I like when you’re here with me… and I love when it’s me, you, and El, but having some adult time is nice.”

She chuckles but nods and leads you to the couch. She settles into the corner of it, and you slide in next to her, grabbing a blanket.

It’s warm, it’s domestic, it’s cozy. Her arm is draped around you lazily, your head nuzzled into the crook of her neck as you curl up and find a program to watch.

You doze off, and you’re not quite sure for how long because the next thing you know Ellie is climbing on top of you with tears in her eyes. Melissa is still there with you, eyes opening blearily.

“Momma,” the little girl whines and settles herself, half in your lap and half in Melissa’s. “Miss Mel.”

“What’s wrong, sweetness?” you ask her gently, teasing the little wisps at the base of her neck. You press a delicate kiss to her temple, and you see Melissa also move the arm not wrapped around you to soothingly rub your daughter’s back.

“Bad dream,” she mumbles as she lays against the two of you.

You sigh softly. “Do you want to talk about it, or try to head back off to dreamland?”

“Dreamland,” she yawns as she rubs her eyes. “But I want you and Miss Mel with me.”

At the mention of her, the redhead’s eyes widen just slightly.

“Please,” Ellie mumbles as she curls into your neighbor’s side. “Please.”

“Momma will come lay with you,” you try to placate softly. You attempt to pull her into your arms, but she desperately reaches for the woman next to you. “We won’t all fit in your bed, sweet girl,” you tell her.

“Momma’s bed,” she mumbles as she wiggles out of your hold and into Melissa’s. The redhead glances at you, and you shrug.

Knowing that if you deny Ellie right now, she will have a meltdown, and you just don’t have it in you to deal with that. You nod, praying to God that your room is clean.

“Mel can stay for a little bit,” Melissa tells the little girl in her arms. “Until you fall asleep.”

The three of you make your way to your bedroom, Ellie sandwiched between the two of you in bed. Ellie clings to the redhead as she starts to fall back asleep. Melissa hums a sweet little tune before she quietly starts to sing a lullaby in a different language. You realize that it’s Italian quickly, and her voice is so gentle and smooth- even at the soft volume. While it lulls your daughter to sleep, it also lulls you to sleep. 

When you wake up again to your alarm, Ellie’s little head pops up from Melissa’s chest before flopping back down gently. If the redhead wasn’t already awake, she is now. “Oof.”

“You stayed,” Ellie whispers.

“I didn’t really have a choice when you decided to use me as your body pillow,” the woman chuckles softly.

You look over at your girl, who is in fact fully on top of Melissa the way that she usually lays on you after a nightmare.

“Oopsies,” Ellie grins. She doesn’t look sorry in the slightest. Then she jumps up. “Time to see Mrs. Howard?”

“Yeah, sweetness,” you chuckle. You love that she adores her kindergarten teacher. “After we get ready, and you have to let Miss Melissa up.”

She uses the two of you as launchpads to sprint into her bedroom, and the two of you fall back into the pillows gently. You turn your head to look at her.

“Thank you,” you say softly, a smile on your face.

“For?”

“Being here for El and me,” you sigh. “It’s made this adjustment to this new life a lot easier.”

Her eyes are so warm as they stare into your own, and she flits her gaze down to your lips.

As much as you want to kiss her right now, you know you shouldn’t. It would be unprofessional… and you have morning breath. Instead, you throw the blankets back on your side and roll out of bed.

She watches you. She’s thought you were gorgeous for quite some time now, but in the morning when you’re just you and not ‘Miss Y/N’ may be her favorite look of yours.

“Stop,” you laugh awkwardly as you feel her gaze while you try to pick out your outfit. “I look like a mess right now, and you should be getting ready for work too.”

“You’re stunning,” she tells you honestly. “But yes… I should probably head over to my apartment to get ready.” She rolls out of bed and starts to make her way out when you catch her arm gently.

“Thank you,” you say softly as you squeeze her arm.

“Of course.”

She heads for the front door, and you can hear Ellie yelling her goodbyes from her bedroom.

“I’ll be back in a little bit,” the redhead promises. “And then we’ll go to school together. I think your momma’s driving too.” The door closes after that, and as you get ready, you let your mind wander about what would change if you decided to just say fuck it and kiss her again. The two of you would probably end up together… 

But really, with her across the hall and practically being a part of your family already, what more would change? Not much. But if you were to date and then split? That would be… hell.

Maybe she’s worth the risk though. You shrug in the mirror and shake your head as you try to focus on what has to be done today.

Maybe with time… only time will tell. 

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 10

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Part 9

M!troll x f!reader

1.4k words

Home and clean it's the first time you've every really been close to him and comfortable about it. You feel safe and at ease until he leaves you to rest while he bathes, and the sounds and sights of the last few hours keep bubbling up.

--------

“Why not go rest?” Zen’jan suggested as he took the washcloth from you, though you had mange to get a lot of the blood off of him.

“I’m ok” you protested, though you were struggling to keep your eyes open. It had been a long 24 hours.

“Go rest. I will go finish cleaning up in the bathroom and then go get us something to eat, ok?” he said firmly and you could tell it was not actually a question.

“Fine”.

He was right, some rest would do you well. You scuttled over to the bed and wrapped yourself up in the blankets while Zen’jan went to go bathe. He left the door cracked open, not that you could see anything at this angle, but it did feel reassuring that he was just right there.

Try as you might, you could not sleep. Panic gripped you every time you finally started to drift off, the memory of waking up under that tree to voices kept bubbling up to the surface.

More time than you realized had passed while you tried to sleep and you heard Zen’jan emerge from the bathroom. You looked over his way, he just had his bath towel wrapped loosely around his hips and did not seem to notice that you were not asleep. You did not mean to keep staring, but you did anyways. It had been nearly a month of living together and you had not so much as even seen him take his shirt off in front of you, now you could not help but peek at him while his back was to you.

Really, he was quite attractive now that you had gotten used to trolls. He moved so fluidly, even just while rummaging through the drawers looking for clothes. There were subtle variations in the blue of his skin down the backs of his arms and legs you had never noticed. Especially you stared at the muscle of his back and arms, no wonder he had no issue carrying you all the way back home.

Happily lost in thought, you let out a squeak of surprise and quickly covered your face with the blanket when he dropped his towel.

“Spirits! I thought you were asleep!” you heard him shout and could hear him scrambling about.

Moments later he was kneeling next to the bed, his voice in your ear as he spoke. “I am so sorry about that, towel is back on, I promise. Though maybe I should be concerned that the sight of me makes my wife shriek and hide” he laughed.

You peered out from the blankets, his face was level with yours, though you found your gaze drifting down lower to stare at his chest instead.

“I promise I really did think you were asleep” he said again, “I forgot to bring some clean clothes with me, and I really did not want to put the bloody ones one right after bathing”.

“I was just surprised, that’s all” you mumbled.

“As long as that was just a surprised reaction. I do not think my ego could handle it if my wife found me unbearable to look at” he leaned forward to press his forehead against yours.

“No, I um, I enjoyed the view” you managed to stammer out.

“That’s good” he nuzzled his forehead against yours before pulling back, “I am quite surprised that you are not asleep yet though”.

“I couldn’t fall asleep. The last time I tried to nap I woke up to bandits, every time I started to drift off this time I would start to panic”.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Maybe stay with me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course, anything you need, but let me put some pants on. You can even watch if you want” he teased.

You felt your face heat up, it would be a lie to say you were not curious about what he looked like under all though clothes.

It was also nice seeing him more relaxed. Ever since the two of you returned home that morning he seemed a lot calmer, more open and relaxed than usual. He was smiling more, and joking around, and being affectionate.

You watched up until he took his towel off again, not quite ready to open that floodgate, but happy when he decided to skip putting a shirt on.

“Alright, where do you want me? I can just sit here next to you like I always have” he offered and sat on the floor next to the bed like he usual with his arms crossed on the bed and head resting on them.

“You can sit in the bed with me” you do not know why, but it was difficult to say out loud.

He sat next to you, towering over you where you laid, through for the first time his size felt comforting instead of looming.

“If you put your back to me I can rub your back” he offered.

You said nothing but did roll over. His hand was so warm as he gently rubbed circles on your back and you swore you could hear him humming something. You closed your eyes and the exhaustion began to set back in now that the panic from the towel incident had subsided.

“What are you humming?” you asked.

“An old song that my parents used to sing to me and my siblings when we could not sleep” he said.

“You never told me you had any siblings”.

“I have an older brother, a younger sister, and I had a younger brother”.

“Oh, I’m sorry” you said awkwardly, not really knowing how to respond.

“It happened a long time ago, and now is not the time to talk about loss, I just want you to relax and sleep now”.

You tried closing your eyes and only focusing on Zen’jan’s hand on your back. It was definitely easier to relax now that you did not feel alone.

“Do you mind if I lay down with you? I will keep rubbing your back though” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine”.

He kept his distance, laying at the edge of the bed to give you space while he kept rubbing your back. You did not know the last time you just laid with anyone. Back living at home it always involved a lot of sneaking around, even well into your adult years because the daughter of a prestigious naval admiral did not have relationships, let alone flings. No, as far as your family knew you never had spent nights sneaking about with one of the maids, or the son of the head butler.

It felt weird that now that you could just finally be openly affectionate with someone that you still hesitated. You wondered if you would be like this if you were married off to some upstart naval officer like you always were told you would be. You wondered if Zen’jan was human if would make a difference.

“Are you alright?” his voice cut through your downward spiraling thoughts, “You suddenly tensed up a lot”.

“Yeah, just thinking”.

“I know I asked this a lot the whole way home, but are you sure you are alright? You asked a lot about what happened there with me, but you dodged any of my questions. I will not force you to talk about anything, but I am here to listen”.

You did not know how to tell him everything. That your kingdom may be trying to restart the war. That your family seemed to be fine with your death if that is was it took to declare war again.

“It’s just been a lot”.

“I know, but if you ever need to talk I am here to listen, always”.

You rolled over and buried your face into his chest and you felt him nuzzle his chin against the top of your head. His heartbeat was slow and steady, a sharp contrast to your racing heart.

“I have got you. I will not let anyone hurt you, I promise” his voice was soft in your ear and sent a pleasant warm tingle down your spine.

“Thank you, Zen”.

You drifted off like that, listening to his heartbeat and him softly humming the song from before. He smelled like warm herbal soap from the bathtub, but you missed the smell of incense on his skin.

Part 11

[httpsdana]

do you write for musiala? if so, can you do something like enemies to lovers, they are forced to spend time together because of mutual friends, but they constantly fight, secretly like each other<3 ty

Cupid in Bali~Jamal Musiala

I might start putting pictures like these instead of the gifs cuz they're prettier. also first Jamal fic hope you enjoy <3 long fic ahead.

you can request from my prompt list

this is my master list

players/drivers I write for

All these characters are made up and not real!!!

The Characters: Jason & Leah, Ethan & Serena, Tyler & Emma, Carlos & Abigail, and Jamal & y/n

"I'm on my way. are you done?" Leah said through the phone to y/n.

"I am, I'll be waiting for you" y/n replied, walking her suitcase into the elevator. Her bag was on her back and she was in some comfortable clothes for the very long trip ahead of them.

They were gonna be a group of 10, 5 girls and 5 boys. Funny thing is how all of them were in couples, except for y/n and Jamal. Of course people will say that they go along very well, which was the most inaccurate thing to be said about those two. They were basically enemies.

y/n exited the elevator, and stood outside waiting for her friend that was gonna take her to the airport. It only took 2 minutes for Leah to arrive, but not alone. She had her boyfriend, Jason, in the passenger seat, and Jamal...in the backseat.

y/n rolled her eyes, opening the rear of the car and placing her suitcase and bag there, then opening the backdoor, sitting next to Jamal.

"hey guys" she said as soon as she sat in her seat. Both Leah and Jason greeted her back, while Jamal just rolled his eyes and huffed.

y/n ignored his presence, while the drive to the airport was silent.

~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~

"Okay guys, so as you know we have a very long trip ahead of us. Our first stop will be in the United Arab Emirates. From there, we have to take another plane to Singapore. After landing in Singapore, we will stay in the same plane, and leave for Bali. About 7 hours between Germany and the Emirates, then 7 hours between the Emirates and Singapore, and about an hour and a half between Singapore and Bali" Tyler explained, while everyone listened.

It was going to be a very long trip. Everyone checked in and got in their seats. And lucky for y/n, her seat was on the window.

"you've got to be kidding me" y/n heard, so she looked up, seeing the guy she was planning on avoiding the whole trip so she can have a good time. Jamal.

"what is it now?" she rolled her eyes at him, only for him to sit down next to her.

"your seat is here?" she said, already knowing his answer. He huffed and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. She let out a sigh, knowing it's gonna be a very long trip.

~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~

The first part of the trip was a bit quiet. Jamal didn't speak much and y/n was just watching a couple of movies she had. When she finished her movies, they still had about 20 minutes to land in the Emirates.

She was getting bored, and started moving a bit in her seat. Jamal, who has been trying to sleep, all the trip looked at her annoyed.

"Can you stop moving " he complained. She let out a sigh, sliding down in her seat

"I'm bored" she mumbled.

"now that you have nothing to do you're complaining? I've been trying to sleep for 6 hours but I didn't say a word." he rolled his eyes, before closing them and trying to fall asleep again.

"we land in a while I don't think it's a good time to sleep" y/n pointed out, making him sigh

"better than hearing your voice till we land" he said rudely. y/n was taken back a bit by his response, but only looked away from him and to the window, where the sun was setting in a beautiful way.

She ignored him for the rest of the time until they landed. After they landed, everyone got their bags and met each other.

Some got food, and others got coffee, until it was time to get on the plane again. Another 6 to 7 hours to Singapore. This time y/n was sat next to one of her friends, Abigail, where they talked for a bit then went to sleep as it was almost midnight.

~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~

When they landed in Bali, it was almost 4 am in the morning, meaning that they were going to sleep more before starting their vacation.

"I'm sorry y/n, but you're gonna have to share a room with Jamal" Tyler said, making y/n sigh. She knew that all the girls wanted to sleep with their boyfriends, but she thought that maybe one of them would sacrifice the sleep with her boyfriend so y/n wouldn't sleep in the same room with Jamal. I guess not.

She let out a sigh, nodding her head. She had no energy to argue with any of them, nor did she have the energy to stay standing. She just wanted some sleep.

Jamal noticed her tired figure, so he took their room key and helped her carry her bags.

"I'll take her to our room, good night everyone" Jamal said, before walking behind y/n with both of their bags.

Everyone looked at each other, confused by Jamal's nice behavior towards y/n, but they were secretly happy that the two might actually get over whatever problems were between them.

Meanwhile, Jamal and y/n had reached their room, and already got in. y/n was almost asleep while walking, unaware of whatever was happening.

"y/n? are you gonna change before sleeping?" Jamal asked her, while she was walking to one of the beds. She dropped on one of them already asleep.

Jamal let out a sigh, walking to her and taking off her shoes. She was wearing comfortable clothes, so he decided to let her be.

~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~∙~

The next day arrived pretty quick as everyone was tired the previous night. The girls went shopping in the day, while the boys hung out together for a while. At night, they all decided to visit a club and party at the beach. At the end of the day, they were in Bali and every night was a party.

"Ready you guys? we are about to have the best first night in Bali!" Serena cheered, making all the girls cheer with her.

They were getting ready in Leah's room, and after they finished, they walked out all dolled up while their boys were waiting for them.

Each of the girls held the hand of her boyfriend, and started walking out of the hotel, leaving Jamal and y/n alone.

He looked her up and down, making her think he was going to comment about how she looks like always.

"you look nice" he said, taking her by surprise. She expected him to speak something mean, but he did the opposite.

"oh thanks" she mumbled, looking down at her sandals that suddenly seemed more interesting.

"well...we have to get going" Jamal said, putting his hand out for her. She looked at his hand suspiciously, making him sigh.

"let's just have a nice trip and not ruin it for anyone" he said, making her sigh but nod too.

"you're right. we should just get over our problems for our friends" She took his hand and walked behind the others, who already reached the party without them.

As soon as they stepped onto the beach where the party was, Jamal was pulled by Carlos who took him to where the boys were, leaving y/n alone. She pushed through the sweaty bodies, until she reached the bar where her friends stood.

"y/n, you took so long, we were just looking for you" Emma said, turning everyone's attention at her. She coughed awkwardly before speaking.

"um me and Jamal just talked for a bit" she said, looking away quickly.

"you two talked? about what exactly" Abigail asked, while everyone else looked at y/n waiting for an answer.

"nothing important, just that we should have fun on the trip" she shrugged, making the girls smile

"finally you two made up, it was about time" Leah said.

They ordered their drinks and started their own party. As the girls were dancing, y/n stood at the bar with her drink, just looking around the dance floor, until her eyes landed on Jamal, except he wasn't alone but with a girl next to him. They were talking and laughing seeming close.

For some reason her heart sank as she watched him laughing with another girl. A mix of jealousy and hurt clouded her thoughts. Despite their constant bickering, seeing him with someone else stirred unexpected emotions within her, making her feel a strange mix of emotions she couldn't quite understand.

She looked away immediately, afraid he might see her watching them and making fun of her. She turned to speak with one of her girls, only to see them all on the dance floor with their boyfriends.

She let out a sigh and turned to the bartender, refilling her drink. She took a huge sip, feeling herself loosen up a bit. Suddenly the music slowed down, and some people left the dance floor as couples started dancing in a slow dance.

y/n always felt lonely as a person who never had someone. But when she's with her friends they always made her feel included. However, this trip was different. The girls wanted to spend time with their boyfriends, and y/n could never blame them. They didn't have to cancel their plans, so she doesn't feel left out.

For some reason, her eyes drifted to where Jamal and that girl were, to see if they were dancing together or not. Instead, she didn't see them. Her eyes started scanning the place in panic, not seeing any of them anywhere.

"y/n" a voice from behind her startled her. She turned around to see Jamal standing there, his charming smile present on his face. He barely smiled at her as they're always arguing.

A small smile found y/n's face without noticing, as she saw the handsome boy standing in front of her.

"Jamal" she said in a low voice, feeling a relief wash over her.

"Would you like to dance with me?" his voice soft and a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

Y/n, touched by his shyness, smiled warmly and replied, "I'd love to dance with you, Jamal."

Jamal then extended his hand to y/n, leading her to the center of the dance floor with a gentle smile. Placing one hand on her waist and holding her other hand in his, they began to move gracefully to the music.

Their bodies swayed in harmony, creating a magical moment between them.

Their dance was delicate, each step was like a silent conversation between their hearts.

Jamal's touch was both reassuring and tender, guiding y/n with a sense of care and understanding.

As they moved across the dance floor, their bodies swayed in perfect harmony, lost in the enchanting melody that filled the air. The warmth of their embrace and the closeness of their dance spoke volumes, expressing more than words ever could.

It was a moment frozen in time, a dance of forgiveness, understanding, and newfound connection.

Their eye contact was intense. None of them daring to break it. As the dance was coming to an end, Jamal decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done and said for the past like 2 years. It was never my intention to make you hate me" he said in a gentle voice, making her smile

"it's okay. I've said some things too and I'm sorry about that. I just eneve understood why you hated me" she chuckled, making him shake his head

"i never hated you y/n. It just bothered me so much back then how you were close to everyone and we never talked. so i figured bickering and arguing with you would be the only way I can talk you because I really like you y/n and just wanted to talk to you in any way. And looking back at it now it wasn't the best way to approach you" he said laughing slightly making y/n laugh too

"obviously it wasn't. I just hope we can move past that because I like you too Jamal" she said, making him smile

"of course y/n. I wouldn't have asked for a dance if I didn't want us to start over" he said

She smiled back at him, leaning her head on his chest as they still swayed to the music. He pressed a small kiss on the top of her head, tightening his grip around her.

Their friends watched them from afar, realizing that their plan of getting them to make up has worked better than they thought it will.

[reidsdimples]

When Everything Changed | Part 5- Finale

18+ ❤️‍🔥 MDNI ‼️

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Enemies to lovers

Part 4 | Master list

The truth comes out

“When are we going to admit that this isn’t hate?” He murmurs and kisses your head.

You didn’t want to answer him because you knew you never hated him. You may be annoyed by him at times but the truth was, a sick thrill shot through you when you bickered with him. It always had.

“It’s easier to hate you,” you whisper, still lying against him on the floor.

You’re fucked out, you can’t move after what he did to you.

“Why?” His voice is so low you’d miss it if you weren’t on him. You shake your head.

“Getting close to someone in this field is dangerous. Look at us,” you wriggle free and turn to face him. “We were both shot.”

“The average FBI agent is shot once in their entire career, most not at all. The odds of that happening to one of us again are slim,” he reasons. You drop your shoulders.

“Spence,” you sigh.

“I know you don’t hate me. You want to. But you can’t,” he stands and moves over to the couch where he wraps himself in a blanket.

You sigh and get your footing under you, your legs still wobbly and pull on your underwear.

“I thought that was just about getting it out of our systems,” you stand in front of him which forced him to look up at you. He winces and his throat injury though and stops. You sit on the coffee table in front of him.

“Did it work? Am I out of your system?” He stares through you.

The truth was, you didn’t think you’d ever get enough of him after that. You had never been with someone who could work your body so well. You simply shake your head ‘no’.

His eyes level with yours.

“I’m not asking for a relationship. I’m asking you to stop pretending that this-“ he grabs your arm and yanks you towards him until his face is in front of yours. “Isn’t fun. That you haven’t gone home after a heated argument with me and finger fucked yourself.”

“How did you-“

“You’re not as good as you think at managing your micro expressions,” he gives you a sky grin.

He had been alot better at that part than you.

“You’re not as inconspicuous as you might think,” you jerk your arm away from his grip.

“Yeah?” He tilts his head, challenging you.

“"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation, It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."” You quote from his journal, from Jane Austen.

His mouth falls open, he was utterly shocked.

“You read my journal that night,” he stands, angry.

“I just saw the blurb you fell asleep writing,” you respond and cross your arms.

“Writing a quote from a book isn’t proof of anything,” he snaps. “I have an eidetic memory, I do that sometimes.”

“Maybe, but look how pissed you are,” you scoff.

You’re being an asshole and you know it. His cheeks turn red and he moves from the small space where you had been facing him.

“Pissed you made an assumption about my feelings for you, yeah,” he raises his voice. It’s still scratchy.

“What feelings Spencer?” You shout and march over to him. “Why are you so angry if there are no feelings?” Now you’re grabbing his arm and turning him towards you.

You ignore your phone ringing, a text follows it.

He glares at you, his eyes travel over your body where you’re only wearing a tank top and panties. You didn’t back down though, you wanted him to admit what his pride wouldn’t let him.

Both of you were acting like children in the face of your feelings. You were aware of it. He had to be too.

“Let go of me,” he demands.

“No,” you dig your nails into his bicep. “Tell me the truth.”

“The truth?” He huffs a laugh and tries to take his arm back from your grip. You double down and place a hand on his chest, pinning him against a bookshelf. “The truth is, if you don’t let me go, I am going to fuck you until you can’t walk,” he whispers. His words travel through you, straight to your still sore pussy. Your heart pounds in your throat and in your head at his threat.

His phone rings and you drop your hands to let him get it.

“Morgan,” he pauses. “Yeah, good. Okay sounds good.” He hangs up and turns to you. “They got him, everyone’s good. We can start our reports after we sleep.

You glance at the clock, 4am. Damn. Sleep sounds amazing.

“Okay,” is all you say. You’re glad the team is safe but your mind is whirling from Spencer’s words, his actions.

“Why don’t you take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” he sighs.

“No you’ve been in the hospital for weeks. Go sleep in your bed,” you demand, pointing to his room.

“It doesn’t matter what I say, you always have to argue or disagree,” he shakes his head.

“I’m trying to be considerate. God you’re impossible,” you groan.

He appears behind you, his body pressing against yours. You wonder if he can sense your arousal after his threat, after going back and forth with him.

“Go get in my bed,” his words are lethal. They leave no room for arguing.

You step forward out of his reach and hurry into his room. Fine, you’d sleep in his bed. You were trying to be nice, so much for that. You slam his door closed behind you.

You pull back the comforter, his bed perfectly made and slide in between the black silk sheets.

You think you hear him approaching the door after using his en suite bathroom, or maybe you hope you do. But he never enters. You watch the ceiling fan spin slowly in the dark. You had never been so sexually satisfied and the frustrated in such close succession.

You groan and put a pillow over your head. It doesn’t help, it smells like him. Annoying, sexy, frustrating him.

You toss and turn in the dark for what has to be an hour before you give up and stare back at the ceiling. Of course you left your phone in the damn living room.

This was torture, knowing he was out there, being surrounded by his scent in his bed. Maybe you could just make yourself cum once and you’ll be able to sleep. That would be plenty right? Especially after the amount of times he made you orgasm already. You bet you’d sleep blissfully. You kick the covers off and spread your legs wide, the cold air from the fan blowing over your pussy.

You slide your hand over your stomach and down into your panties. You’re surprised to find your clit so swollen with need, sensitive to the touch from overuse but begging for more. Begging for him. God you wanted him again.

Your eyes roll back as you begin to circle your clit, pressing hard and grinding your hips against yourself. You turn your head and moan into the pillow as you remember him between your legs.

“Finally that mouth is good for something,” you remember saying. Fuck it was so hot the way he looked up at you from between your legs.

“Dirty girl,” comes Spencer’s gravely voice from the doorway of his bedroom. You hadn’t heard the door open.

You startle and throw the blankets back over yourself. You were well and truly caught.

You see him saunter towards you in the dark and the bed dips as he crawls over you.

You meet his eyes, his own full of hunger.

“Show me how wet you are,” he whispers in your ear. You moan and bring your fingers up, shoving them in his mouth. He sucks gently, sliding his tongue between your fingers. You imagine the way that motion felt in your pussy.

He pulls the blanket off of you and kneels between your legs. He forces your knees flat to the bed so you’re spread wide for him. You wonder how many women he’s had in this position in this very spot. It’s fucking hot to imagine, Spencer, a womanizer. It was the only explanation for his filthy mouth and skills.

He pushes your panties to the side and pumps his long middle finger into you with ease.

“Let’s make a deal,” he muses and tilts his head as he slowly withdrawals his finger to the tip.

“Hmm,” you can’t talk. He presses it back in torturously slow.

“You’re going to tell me how you really feel about me. Then and only then will I expose my true feelings to you,” he hums as he slides his finger in and out of you. “I know you’re stubborn so I’m more than willing to fuck it out of you if I must.”

He removes his finger completely.

“Because the truth is, I want you to know how I feel,” he murmurs and bends down to kiss your pussy. Your underwear an all too cruel barrier.

Your arch up towards his mouth and he nips you with his teeth. You moan loudly.

He tears you free of your underwear and settles between your legs, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“Deal Spencer, please,” you beg and push your throbbing pussy towards his mouth. You needed him so bad, needed some kind of friction.

He pushes his tongue into your entrance and drags it all the way up through your folds, soaking his tongue. He lets out a sinful groan, pleased.

His two middle fingers find your entrance and curl upward, causing you to squirm at the blinding pleasure. He pins you down with his other arm across your hips and pumps into you while he sucks and licks at your clit.

“Spencer please it’s too much,” you cry out. You can’t believe how good it feels when he speeds up his tongue and applies more pressure inside of you.

“Tell me or I’ll stop,” he pauses. Leaving you to pant for a moment.

“I-“ you whimper.

He resumes his expert movements, winding you so tight it’s painful. You need to cum, you can’t take much more.

“You’re not listening,” he hums and withdrawals his fingers and mouth just as you’re approaching a euphoric orgasm.

“When we almost lost you, I realized I felt more,” you pant, your eyes blowing wide as you look down at him. His pink lips glisten with your arousal and he grins before sliding those wicked fingers back into you.

“Good girl,” he speaks against you and gives you want you want.

He pulls your clit into his mouth while his fingers pump you violently, curling to reach that spot deep inside of you. He presses you harder into the mattress, applying mind numbing pressure to your uterus. You’d never felt anything like it, how was he… how did he…

“Spencer!” An uncharacteristic scream erupts from your throat as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever experienced crashes through you.

You’re shaking around his fingers as he plants kisses against your pussy and slowly removes them. He plunges them into his mouth and licks them clean until you’re staring at him in awe. He was so fucking beautiful.

“That was easier than I thought it would be,” he crawls on top of you. His hair falls forward as he stares into your eyes. You whimper in defeat.

“I’m scared I’m falling for you. It makes me angry,” you whisper.

To your surprise he leans down and kisses you, his lips impossibly soft and warm.

“I’ve already fallen for you. I’ll catch you. I won’t let you get hurt,” he speaks softly and kisses you again. His admission feels like the most gentle caress and the greatest victory.

His hands push under your body and he brings your arms above your head. He holds you there, kissing you desperately. Your tongue pushes back against his until you’re both breathless and he’s grinding his erection against you.

Neither of you were done with each other despite the admission. You could spend the next 24 hours with him between your legs.

This brilliant, irritating, and irresistible man had somehow broken his way into your heart. You didn’t know it until he was fighting for his life in a hospital bed.

A strange sort of determination settles over you. You wouldn’t chance losing him again without loving him first.

“You’re mine,” it’s not a question, it’s more like he’s declaring it.

“Yours,” you nod and kiss him hungrily again.

[obeymematches]

very fluffy and in depth hcs of a mc that basically lives off of cuddles? if you dont wanna do all of them can you only do lucifer, mammon, beel & diavolo? its fine if you dont wanna write this request tho! <3

i just need to snuggle up with them and maybe receive a forehead kiss yknow?

(also its def not bc of their man boobs wdym..)

thank you baby for sending in this ask, writing it cleared my skin and watered my plants- 💐🌸🌻

also your taste in men is very good 💯💯💯

this just teeth rotting fluff. GN MC.

❤️Cuddling HCs❤️

Lucifer:

Cuddling can only happen at night / the evening. Even on the weekends he is too busy to be cuddling during the day.

When you get in bed next to him he usually smells like coffee & sweat ngl. At first he does try to hide it with a nice expensive perfume but it might be best to cuddle after taking a shower.

He loves it if you curl up against him, laying your head on his chest. He is surprisingly gentle with his strokes in your hair!

He prefers not to talk or just very short I love yous are accepted. This is his calming, recharging moment.

His arms are strong as he puts them behind your back, or under your head if that's what you prefer. His weakness is stroking his head between his ears and forehead.

He is very glad to kiss your forehead without you having to ask! He is actually very affectionate if he is with you, and only you! Prefers holding one of your hands the entire time.

My love... Holding you in my arms in this moment makes me feel tranquil. As if nothing could ever go wrong again... I am aware it only lasts such a short time... I'm truly sorry we can't do this more often. Can you forgive me, my dearest?

Mammon:

Here is some Mams cuddles

Beelzebub:

Cuddling Beelzebub feels like the most natural thing. You fit just right under his arms, his legs. He can go on like this for hours. Nothing else has to happen and he is the most content demon in the world.

Being so close to him makes you realize he smells like deodorant and grass.

Likes to eat as you cuddle! Always brings you your favourite snacks! He can fall asleep very quickly like this though. Please just stroke his back he is going to melt into your touch.

He is going to kiss you with his hand holding yours to the bed. He kisses you very passionately, towering over you, using his tongue as he should; gluttony gets the best of him.

Very gentle with you the entire time. Carefully moves every inch of his body not to hurt you.

If you decide to lay too far away from him he just sweeps you right where you should be; entirely next to him!

Skin on skin contact is very important for him, pls don't wear too many clothes!!

I'm stronger now, but I can grow even more if you stay by my side. I'll do everything to support you, and I hope you will continue to support me too. I love you. So very deeply. Thank you for being here with me.

Diavolo:

I just think he enjoys being the little spoon. He can be the tiniest little spoon if he wants to!!

Loves to talk. This is no time to be quiet for more than 5 minutes. Something always comes to his mind which he wants to share.

His smell from up close isn't so easy to describe; it's a lingering smell of expensive parfume but also pine tree.

Can and will cuddle you in the afternoon if he/you needs it. Tea time can buzz off this is 300% better.

Talks about how nice it was to Barbatos. Poor Barb doesn't know how to react to this information.

Ah he definitely plays with the blanket; he likes to tuck you in real well, sometimes pull it over your head and kiss you in the dark.

Tickle fights are inevitable if you cuddle for too long. (He doesn't want to let you go pee but you must. So you tickle him.)

Sometimes he can forget how heavy he is though and if he falls asleep while on top of you, you'll be sore by the time he wakes up.

Ah just imagine the pure joy in his eyes the entire time.... sigh

My darling y/n... You are my most precious treasure in the entire world. You enchant and fascinate me, and each day, you ignite me.