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ellsarchive · 2 months

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Starcrossed - Empty Shadows ★·.·`¯´·.

Series Masterlist *.•

Words: 1990

Summary: when the universe wants to rip you apart, can you find it in yourself to pick up the pieces?

Warnings: singular use of [y/n]

Note: Note: wasn’t planning on posting this so soon because WHY IS THE EPILOGUE FLOPPING AHHHG. I’m aware it’s probably just bad luck or my lack of followers because I’m so new but damn bru 🌝. Writing part two soon, hopefully more things will actually happen next chapter !! It won’t be boring after this trust

He’s been dreaming about you lately.

Every night, actually. You have him constantly waking up in a cold sweat, distressed and exhausted, yet you’re not even there. How do you have such an effect on him, even when you’re worlds away?

Ever since he left America, left you, life has seemed like a never ending cycle of longing. Longing for his old life, his mother, his team, and you, the presence in which he found comfort in on so many lonely nights.

It was his first day of school in the U.S.A. Little Kenji had gone through his whole morning feeling the eyes on him, hearing the whispers around him from the kids who thought he was different, strange, some may even consider him alien. As he nervously opened up his lunch box, the stares seemed to intensify tenfold. Their whispers surrounded him like a cage, trapping him and enclosing him to a doom of never ending judgement.

That was until you came along.

You popped down beside him, your pigtails swinging around as you turned your head to smile at him. You leaned into him, looking down at his lunch, and he dreaded that his first possible friend was about to be like the others.

To his surprise, all you did was look up at him, an innocent curiosity shining in your eyes.

“What’s that?” You asked, but it was different from the other kids. You had this lightness to your voice, like you weren’t disgusted by his food. By him.

Taken by surprise, Kenji stuttered out a response, “Um- it’s tofu and rice.”

Your little self had never heard of tofu, but its foreignness didn’t matter to you as much as how yummy it looked did.

“Did your mommy make it for you?”

Kenji gave you a curt nod, still unsure if you had any malice behind your words.

He could feel himself warming up to you as you continued, even starting to think that he might have a friend.

“Ooo! We should have a playdate, and maybe I can try some! My mommy only makes me sandwiches,” you smiled again, missing teeth on display, shining sunlight on Kenji in this dimly lit cafeteria. His mother always said to never look at the sun, but all he did now was ogle at the way you beamed.

He had definitely made a friend.

From the moment you sat down next to him, not-so-toothy smile and all, Kenji’s soul has become unable to rest without the feeling of you near. Nearly twenty years after that moment and he can count on his fingers how many times he’s been without you, and nearly all of them have been because of baseball.

Even as you matured, teeth growing in and the people around you changing, you and Kenji were the only constant thing in each others lives (excluding family, of course). Sitting on the sidelines and watching him play baseball, late night talks on the field, admiring each other from across the room when it seemed as if nobody else was there. Every routine the two of you had set for yourselves included each other, and now that was messed up. Being ripped away from your best friend who you’ve been glued at the hip to isn’t something easily adjusted to.

Practicing doesn’t feel the same without you there. You aren’t there to cheer, to make sarcastic remarks on the rare occasion that he misses, not there to smile at him and support him, even when he isn’t looking. You were always the reason he succeeded, even if you could be the reason he missed sometimes. It’s easy to be distracted by your face, and in his opinion, it’s almost disrespectful to not admire something so worthy of admiration.

A warm summer night on the baseball field, nobody but the two of you casting shadows under the blinding stadium lights. The moment was so simple, two teens dressed in pyjamas and filling the air with their laughs until shouts through windows and lights flickering on silenced you. You were so content, whether the night was filled with sounds of your laughter or the sound of Kenji’s bat hitting the ball. He’s good at this, really good, you think. He’s already famous for a highschool player. He’s got a real future ahead of him. You could imagine it, thousands of people chanting for him as home base calls his name. Hopefully, you’d be there too, screaming his name louder than all of the crowd combined.

“You ever play baseball, [y/n]?” Kenji asked, disrupting your daydreaming with a grin. He knew you hadn’t. He knows everything about you that there is to know. To him, playing dumb could be necessary sometimes, times like then. He found it more convenient.

You were barely shaking your head before he was jogging over to you, looking down at you with his bat in hand.

“Let me teach you.”

Bat in hand, you were sure Ken was laughing at the way you shrunk into yourself. You looked like you were about to collapse on the base, shielding your face with your arms and barely holding onto the bat at all, let alone correctly. Kenji, being such a fantastic friend, couldn’t just let you sit there and struggle, right? So, he helped you. That’s what friends do.

His body was warm against you as he stood behind you, positioning himself in a way that completely enveloped you with his body. He’d grown a lot recently, body becoming more firm and his once chubby cheeks now revealing the bones that lied beneath. Being a teenage girl who spent every moment with him, you didn’t fail to notice. His hands over yours, the two of you moving as one as he directed you on what do to. You swallowed harshly, trying to push down the burning hot sensation on your face and focus on what he’s trying to teach you. If only he didn’t make it so hard, his every muscle flexing against you as he moved your arms with his, speaking into your ear with a certain warmness and focus.

“Mhm, and then you wanna swing, just like that.”

When he reached down to your waist and moved it to the position he thought correct, you nearly flinched away in surprise. His fingers were hot, radiating heat through the loose T-shirt you wore and nearly leaving burn marks on your skin. It wasn’t like you’d never touched before, in fact, you’re more touchy than what’s socially accepted. Touchy enough that new dating rumours seem to resurface every week. It was just something about right now that made you want to get a lighter and burn your skin until you could replicate the way his hands felt, the artwork forever scarring you. You barely remembered where you were and what you were doing, and he noticed. Luckily, Ken continued with nothing but an odd glance.

Ken’s excitement when you first hit the ball is something you won’t ever forget. The happiness, pride, and admiration in his eyes as they shone brighter than the lights around you is a sight that you swear changed your brain chemistry. He seemed to drown everything out as he ran with you across the bases, the two of you laughing and celebrating something so simple. You thought of nothing but to keep moving your legs, the sound of your shoes padding against the ground the only thing anchoring you to this world. He was everything. And as he looked fondly in to your eyes and smiled, saying something stupidly on brand for Kenji with that dumb smile tugging at his lips, you realized that maybe you were his everything too.

Even as Kenji drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen, he can’t escape you. He thinks about the countless times you had dinner at his house, how his mother would laugh with you and stare at you knowingly when your attention shifted to him. The way his mother would hug you as you left, how sometimes he’d come home to you and his mother watching movies together, and the way he’d feel so WARM on the inside when he laid his eyes upon the sights. The two greatest people in his lives bonding. The two greatest people in his lives, not in his life anymore.

Shoving his face into his hands, Kenji wonders if you’ve cursed him. Sentenced him to an eternity of longing, being haunted by his memories no matter where he goes or how far he runs. Day and night, you’re there. His best friend. The girl who introduced him to the entire world he grew up in. The soul that he fell so pathetically in love with that he couldn’t even put it into words, not even as he got into the airplane that would take him away with no return, the burden of being Ultraman weighing on the intensity of the departure. Ken Sato isn’t the type to fall in love, not like this. The fact that he’s loved you from the first time he saw you, how he’s felt like you were a breath of air in the midst of smoke, the way he’s craved to give you everything he has, to give you himself, may beg to differ.

You have always been together. One. Interlinked. Now, the only way he ever sees you is in the dead of night, his mind somehow finding ways to bring you back to him. You used to be everywhere, shining your light on him so much that he couldn’t process it as it happened. Only as he lie awake in bed could he find time to think about you, to long for you, to resent you for making him feel so pathetic. You didn’t even try, and you had him wanting to knock down every single wall that he had managed to keep up with you. He always knew that if he just took you, he’d have you. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Things could change, he could get hurt. So Ken continued to relish in that life even when he craved for more, the life he thought would never change. Now, you’re 5 thousand miles away and he wishes he just told you. So many nights alone under the stars, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Even when you fell asleep together, holding each other like you wanted to consume the other, neither of you took your chance. It’s over now, your lives isolated and hearts lonely.

Your only way of seeing him is the rare occasion he shows up on TV, which has only been once so far. Even that one time, you didn’t fail to notice the faint tiredness on his face and the longing in his eyes when asked about his old life. You only noticed because you felt it too. Not for your old life, but for him. Your best friend. The love of your fucking life. Even if you had the guts to call him, the times in LA and Tokyo are opposite, and with Ken’s busy schedule you’d have no knowledge of when is free for him to talk. You don’t realize that he’d drop everything he was doing if your name popped up on his screen. It feels as if the world is desperate to pull him away from you, and you can’t compose yourself knowing it. You covet for the sound of his voice, holding yourself and closing your eyes, hoping that you can still draw out the lines of his face and feel fulfilled in the gaping hole he left you with as he got on that plane.

Neither of you have it in yourselves to reach out, not after the way you parted. So you live with the gaping pit in your chest, hoping that one day he’ll remember you and come home to fill it.

#|| starcrossed *.•#ellsarchive #kenji sato #ken sato #kenji sato x reader #ultraman rising #ken sato x reader #ultraman #ultraman rising x reader #ken sato netflix #ultraman rising netflix #netfllix #I’m down bad bro

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babymetaldoll · 16 days

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Are you mine? - Chapter Three: "She's a silver lining"

Word count: 5.253 words Warnings: This is so fluffy it might be illegal. Reader's discretion is advised. Summary: Baby Reid Nº1 is here, and both Spencer and reader are ready, but not really. A/N: I know no woman would ever be worthy of making Spencer a father, but that man deserves to be a dad.

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(Y/N)’s point of view

When we found out we were having a little girl, Spencer lost his mind. I know he would have been happy if the doctor had said it was a boy, but a baby girl was just what he had always dreamed about. A little princess to spoil and teach everything.

We decided to name her Raven Marie Reid, and ever since that day, my husband talked to our daughter every second he could. He encouraged us to hear more classical music to help her brain develop, he read her bedtime stories and even asked about her day.

- “I’m telling you, chipmunk, Raven knows I’m talking to her”- Spencer pointed out as we walked into the bullpen- “She kicks and moves when I say her name.”

- “I know, honey bunny. She is still inside me, kicking my ribs and squeezing my bladder most of the time.”- I replied and shook my head, smiling. I couldn’t deal with his proud smile at my words.

- “Reids! you are here! I’ve got news”- Penelope nearly tackled us as soon as she saw us, and didn’t even give us time to reach our desk.

- “We have to take the fit test.”- she announced quickly.

- “We?”- Spencer asked, confused.

- “Me too?”- I questioned, scared of the answer. I was already 38 weeks into the pregnancy and I could barely move. I wasn’t allowed to travel anymore, so I had to help the team from my desk whenever they were out of town.

- “Of course not, munchkin. Just me and your husband.”- Garcia explained tapping on my arm.

- “But why? We have enough case hours to cover a fit test.”- Spencer argued, confused.

- “I just got the mail. So, I guess we should train a little.”- Garcia shrugged and started walking with us to our desk.

- “I can help.”- I suggested - “I was very good at my fit test, and I can give you some tips.”

- “Can we talk with Hotch and get out of this?” - Spencer suggested- “I mean, it’s a fit test. Honestly, we don’t need this.”

- “Well, we are having a baby, and you are gonna have to play with her, so maybe getting some exercise done could be good for you.”- I suggested, but Spencer looked at me like I had cursed him- “What?”

- “You know I’m not good at sports.”

- “You are amazing in the field and you know it.”- I rubbed his shoulder and smiled- “But you have to get used to running now that we are having to have a kid to follow around.”

- “My princess is not gonna make me run around, right Raven?”- Spencer asked and rubbed my tummy. Our daughter moved inside my belly and sat directly on my bladder.

- “Great, I have to pee again. Thank you, honey bunny.”

The following morning, Spencer and I got up extra early to meet Penelope on the training track in Quantico. My husband looked the cutest in his red shorts and mismatched socks. I planned a simple circuit for them to warm up and watched them running as I sat on a bench and ate part of the orange slices I had brought to them. I tried to imagine how it would be when Raven went to school, would she like sports? Would she join the track team? Soccer? softball? my mind wandered to all the amazing things our baby girl would do. Anything she dreamed of, I would encourage her to pursue.

Spoiler alert: Raven is on the swimming team, and she loves it. We go to her competitions with homemade banners and Spencer made sure our house had a pool, so she can practice whenever she wants.

- “Come on honey bunny!!”- I yelled as Spencer made it to the finish line, a few seconds after García, in what I could call a dreadful performance running. I stopped the timer and shook my head as I made my way over. Spencer and Penelope were panting, and trying to elongate their weary muscles.

- “Why does it have to be such a fast mile?”- Garcia argued, trying to catch her breath- “Have you ever even had to run a mile in the field?”

- “No.”- Spencer answered, panting. I handed them a Gatorade and tried to cheer them up.

- “Come on! you are doing better! You’ve got this!”

- “I'm not even in the field.”- Penelope kept arguing - “I sit at a computer on my perfect posterior, like all day.”

- “I know, Pen. But it’s the rule. Apparently, everybody has to take the fit test this year.”- I tried to explain, but my friend decided to keep rambling.

- “Well, at least we didn’t ask Derek.”- Garcia was thinking out loud - “It's bad enough some bureaucrat is making us take this stupid test. The last thing we need is Mr. Universe talking smack the whole time.”

- “But he knows about all this stuff.”- Spencer argued her point of view - “He can probably, like, teach us some tricks, help us train.”

- “Your wife is doing that already, Reid.”- Garcia pointed out the obvious- “Besides, Derek takes it way too seriously. I worked out with him once.”

- “You work out?”- my husband asked surprised, and Pen just nodded, still trying to catch her breath. - “That's cool. I don't.”

- “We can tell, hon.”- I whispered as I rubbed his back.

- “I train in a non-traditional manner and never again with him.”- Garcia explained. - “He was all, "There you go, baby girl. Move it or lose it. This ain't your high-tech room. My grandmama can move better than that."- I chuckled at her impersonation of Morgan as my husband tried to excuse him somehow.

- “He can be enthusiastic at times.”- Spencer was so nice, we all know Derek was a drill sergeant training. I loved training with him, he always forced me to give 110%, but of course, neither my husband nor Garcia enjoyed it.

- “That's a way of saying it.”- I giggled and looked at the clock - “Now come on! Give me a couple more laps.”

- “Do we have to?”- Spence asked me with sweet puppy eyes, looking adorable and exhausted.

- “Yes, you do. Come on! You’ve got this.”

Lucky for Spencer and Penelope, Hotch texted us to tell us we had a case, which only meant training was over.

It also meant I had to stay with Garcia as my husband left the city to catch a serial killer. I knew it was our job and there was nothing I could do about it, but it made me uneasy to think about what would happen to Raven and me if anything went to happen to Spencer on the field. It was a fact: I was afraid of our mortality now that we were about to be parents. That is one fear I haven’t stopped feeling, and it’s one of the main reasons why today we are leaving the BAU.

During that case, Spencer got hit. It wasn’t serious, just a punch on the face, and Morgan teased him saying they might have ruined his pretty face a little. However, I didn’t laugh at all. I wasn’t calm or even rational at that point. You lose it when you get a phone call from your boss saying your husband is at the hospital, and you can’t go ‘cos you are 635 miles away and unable to get on a plane ‘cos you are 38 weeks pregnant. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a punch in the face.

I was beyond furious with him and Hotch. Mad at Spencer for putting himself in danger out there, and with Hotch, for putting him there in the first place.

I yelled so much while the team was on their way back, Garcia was afraid I was going to deliver the baby in her office. But I knew I had to get it off my system before dealing with Hotch, ‘cos I didn’t want to get fired for attempting to murder my boss.

- “What the fuck was Spencer thinking?!”- I yelled as I paced in Penelope’s office, trying to breathe. - “He never gets in any physical fight with an unsub! Ever! When was the last time he got hurt during a case? Tell me, Pen!?”- and my friend stared at me, not knowing the answer.

- “I’m… well…”

- “It was over five years ago, we weren’t even dating yet. He got fucking anthrax!! and he almost died! I can’t go through that again, we are gonna have a baby. Do you think I could raise a baby alone? I fucking can’t! There is no way on earth I can do this alone! Spencer can’t do this to me!”

- “(Y/N), please breathe. He just got punched on the face, that’s it.”- Garcia tried to reason with me, and failed.

- “Just punched on the face? Do you know how dangerous that is? It means he was fighting the unsub! One false movement and things south!”

- “But it didn’t happen, please, munchkin, calm down, you are gonna give me a stroke.”

- “I’m not gonna calm down until my husband is here, safe and sound!”

My wishes came true later that evening after I had made a major effort to calm myself down and not look like the hormonal and slightly crazy woman I was that day.

- “I’m ok, I swear”- Spencer said as soon as he stepped out of the elevator and found me waiting for him.- “I’m sorry, ma cherie.”

I sighed, taking in his perfume, the smell of his neck, and the warmth of his arms around me. Spencer kissed the top of my head and didn’t move for a few minutes until he was sure I was calmed. Somehow, having him there made me forget about how mad I had been earlier that day.

- “Are you sure you are ok?”- I whispered and looked at his face, he had a cut on the eyebrow and a bruise on the cheekbone.

- “Nothing that some kisses can’t fix.”- he said with a sweet smile.

- “You would have been proud, pretty girl.”- Derek pointed out, walking past us along with the rest of the team. - “Reid tacked the unsub like a pro.”

- “I did.”- my husband nodded. - “Working out is paying off.”

- “So, do you think you could stay here until the baby is born?”- I asked and Spencer just smiled.

- “Hotch and I already talked. I won’t move from my desk until Raven is here.”- I beamed, relieved, and let out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding.

- “Thank you, honey bunny.”

- “Anything for you, ma cherie.”

- “I’m glad I don’t have to yell at Hotch anymore.”- my husband frowned, confused.

- “Why would you…”

- “Never mind, honey bunny.”

Spencer’s point of view

There are so many things I will never forget, and not just because I have an eidetic memory. One of my favorites is the day Raven was born. That was the day I became a father, and by far, one of the happiest moments of my life.

(Y/N) had started feeling contractions after dinner. We were on the couch watching Dr. Who and eating ice cream when they began. They were soft and irregular, so we didn’t move, and instead, we did what the doctor had instructed, and started timing the contractions.

After a while, (Y/N) decided a bath was a good idea ‘cos it might help her relax before bed, so I filled the tub and helped her in. We didn’t call anyone but our midwife, who told us we were doing the right thing and suggested we get as much sleep as possible. So we went to bed. I held my wife and placed a hand on his belly.

I felt like I hadn’t slept for more than five minutes when my wife’s voice woke me up at five thirty am.

- “Honey.”- she whispered, shaking my arm carefully.

- “Everything ok?! Are you in pain?! Do you need the doctor?”- I nearly jumped and stared at her, she seemed scared, though she tried to remain calm.

- “My water broke.”

And that was when my brain turned off.

I stared at (Y/N), slowly panicking, and stood by her side, analyzing everything. Yes, our mattress was probably ruined but that wasn’t the biggest issue at that minute.

- “Spencer?”- my wife called out my name, probably reading how I was losing it at that minute.

- “Yes, cherie, I’m here. I just… need a second.”

- “We have to go to the hospital.”- her voice was a whisper, and she didn’t say another word. A contraction hit her and I could read the pain all over her face. That was when it clicked me, there was no time to overthink, I had to be there for her. In a second I was fully dressed and helping her walk to the door.

- “The bag is in the car, I’ve got my cell… and yours.”- she kept panting as she enumerated everything we needed.

- “We’ll call your parents from the car”- I said as I grabbed the keys and opened the front door.

- “Wait!”- (Y/N) stayed still and held her belly with both hands. I saw her doing her breathing exercises, going through what looked like a very painful contraction. I placed my hand on hers and stared at her, doing her best to do everything we were taught we had to do.

- “I am so proud of you.”- I whispered and kissed her temple. - “You are doing so well, ma cherie.”

- “In case later I yell and say things I don’t mean, I love you.”- she replied and I chuckled. - “You know I might do that if it gets too painful.”

- “I know you will.”- I replied and kissed her lips - “Ready to walk to the car?”- (Y/N) nodded and started moving slowly. I closed the door and held her arm, helping her all the way over.

I rushed into the hospital with my wife, who was trying her best to hide her pain from me, so I wouldn’t freak out. But I was freaking out anyway. Of course, I was. I was running in my head all the possible scenarios that could go wrong in the following hours and I was terrified.

- “My wife is having our baby, her water broke.”- that was all I could say as soon as we reached the front desk. A nurse put (Y/N) in a wheelchair and guided her to a room in less than a minute to examine her. I gave our info and followed her, trying to remain calm.

- “How are you feeling, Mrs. Reid?”- she asked (Y/N).

- “I’m ok, I guess. I keep trying to think this isn’t the most painful thing ever ‘cos I know it’s gonna get worse.”- and my wife even joked, she is a champ.

- “We’ll make sure you feel the least pain possible. Now, let’s put you in bed and see how long until we meet your baby. Do you know what you are having?”

- “A girl.”- (Y/N) replied as I helped her move into the bed. I felt like there was nothing I could do at that minute, so I just stared at her being the most amazing woman ever.

- “Did you pick a name yet?”

- “Yes, Raven Marie.”-

- “That’s a lovely name! Now, let’s see how you are doing.”

The nurse was very nice. She asked my wife a million questions I heard (Y/N) answer patiently, checked her vitals, assessed her contractions, and checked her cervical dilatation. During that entire time, I couldn’t say a word, I was shocked. It was happening, my wife was going to make me a dad, and I was terrified. Not that I didn’t want to be a father, I was just scared anything might go wrong. And if everything went well, and the baby ended up hating me ‘cos I was the worst father on earth? I didn’t know how to be a good dad, I didn’t have one most of my life.

- “Honey, honey”- (Y/N) held my hand and took me from my thoughts.

- “Are you ok?”- I asked right away and she smiled.- “What can I get you?”

- “Nothing, but are you ok? You are pale and I can see you are losing it, and this hasn’t even started yet.”- I nodded and felt her squeezing my hand. - “It’s gonna be ok, so please don’t overthink it, ok?”- I nodded and leaned in to kiss her forehead, but she moved and crushed her lips against mine, making me smile.

- “Come on! She is still pregnant! Wait a little before knocking her up again.”- Frank said as he walked in absolutely unannounced, holding a paper bag filled with snacks, books, and magazines.

- “How the fuck did you know we were here?”- that was the first thing my wife questioned, and then the nurse showed up to take him out.

- “Your mom called us all, everybody is on their way, I just got here early.”

- “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to wait outside.”- the nurse said and pointed to the door.

- “Don’t worry, guys. I’m gonna be camping out there, I’m on the welcome committee. Anything you need, I’m here.”- Frank moved quickly, kissed (Y/N)’s forehead, and smiled. - “You are gonna kick ass, nugget!”

We are lucky to have the best friends on earth.

(Y/N)’s parents, Lu, and Mikey were in the waiting room with Frank in less than half an hour. They all had stopped by to see my wife and wish her luck. Hotch and Garcia got there next and hugged me tight.

- “How is my munchkin? Can I see her?”- Pen asked right away.

- “She is with the doctor, everything is fine. She is still a few hours away from pushing, but everything is going well. They are evaluating if they are giving her the epidural now.”- I explained and Pen nodded.

- “JJ said she won’t come ‘cos she has a cold and it could be dangerous for (Y/N) and the baby, but asked me to send pictures later.”- I just nodded and looked around the room. Everyone I loved was there to support us.

- “Did you bring her ice?”- Hotch asked and I showed him the cup I was holding.

- “On my way to get more ice right now.”

- “And how are you?”- my unit chief asked the million-dollar question, so I just sighed.

- “I can’t stand hospitals, there’s something about the lighting…”- Hotch raised an eyebrow and stared at me knowing that was not what bothered me. - “I’m just worried, I can’t stop thinking anything might go wrong.”- it was easiest to confess my darkest fear at that moment because I needed some sort of contention.

- “It’s normal, Reid. You want to be sure she and the baby are going to be ok.”- Hotch put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. - “You are doing a great job here.”

- “Thank you.”- it was somehow reassuring to hear Hotch saying that. I felt silly but it somehow took a weight from my chest.

- “Son.”- Chief (Y/L/N) walked towards, shook Hotch’s hand, and welcomed Garcia. - “Have you eaten anything?”- he didn’t actually wait for my reply, my father-in-law handed me a sandwich and a coffee. - “Eat this, I’ll bring my princess the ice. You need a little break.”- he tapped on my back and Sofia patted on an empty chair next to her and I moved towards her slowly.

- “Did you call your mom yet, honey?”- she asked me as I chewed the sandwich and shook my head. - “Do you want me to call her?”

- “It’s still too early in Las Vegas. And I don’t want her to get anxious. I’ll call her when Raven is here with us.”- I explained and sipped my coffee. Extra cream and extra sugar. I hummed happily and Sofia smiled.

- “Did I get your order right?”- she asked me and I nodded, surprised. - “I’m glad. I made you the sandwich you said you liked last time we had brunch. A bacon omelet goat cheese sandwich.”- she pointed out proudly.- “I remembered how much you liked it.”

- “Thank you, Sofia.” - she leaned over and kissed my forehead.

- “I love you, son. I am so excited you and my baby are about to be parents.”

I blushed as I heard her words, feeling my heart filled with love. Around us, Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Mikey talked about all the plans they had for my baby girl. Hotch was talking with Derek, who had just walked in with Alex.

- “Now eat your food,"- Sofia added.- "I’ll put an eye on my baby.”

I am still amazed by the warm feeling that having a family gives me. Not just my wife and kids, but our entire extended family, in-laws, and friends. I never thought I could ever have this. I know I say it a lot, but it’s very hard for me to believe this is my life.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Things I couldn’t stop thinking about the first time I had a baby: how Spencer always said studies showed women forgot about pain as soon as they held their babies. I needed to get to that point as fast as possible because no matter how many drugs they gave me, I felt like I was tearing apart.

- “Come on Mrs. Reid!”- the doctor said, from between my legs. - “I can see her head! just a few more pushes!!”

- “I can’t, I’m too tired!”- I argued and felt like breaking into tears, ‘cos I was moody and tired and most of all, scared ‘till the death of what was going on. A human was coming out of my body, I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I was terrified of messing it up.

- “Come on, ma cherie.”- Spencer had held my hand through the whole process, and though he had delivered a baby himself, for the first time ever, he didn’t give directions or corrected anyone. I guessed he was too scared to mess up and trusted the medical staff.

- “I’m sorry hon, I can’t do this.”- I mumbled and felt my baby punching her way out of my body. I had a strong contraction and instead of talking, all I could do was scream in pain.

- “Yes, you can do this, (Y/N). Come on! Just push, our baby is almost here. Just push, ok?”- Spencer begged as I did as told and gave my biggest effort.

- “Almost!! Just one more!!!”- the doctor said. Spencer held my hand tighter and nodded, in support. I don’t know how I did it, but somehow, I managed to push one more time and suddenly, I heard a baby cry.

- “Oh my god”- Spencer gasped and stayed still, staring at the baby with tears in his eyes. The doctor stood up and placed a red crying baby on my chest, and suddenly, Spencer was right. I felt no pain whatsoever. Nothing. All I could do was stare in awe and, of course, cry, how that little baby on my chest was in fact, my little baby.

- “Hi Raven.”- I whispered and touched her back carefully, with shaky hands. - “Hi, I’m your mom, and me and your dad love you very much.”- I chuckled and sniffed as Spencer moved closer and kissed my forehead.

- “She is perfect.”- he whispered and stared at her in admiration and pure love. The nurse gave him a pair of scissors and instructed him how to cut the umbilical cord. I tried to stop crying, but it was nearly impossible. I was a mom. My husband was a dad. We were parents.

Spencer and I had a kid. That was the thought I couldn’t process. The guy I had a crush on for what seemed to be my entire life, my best friend, the smartest guy on earth, and I, had made a baby. I managed to look away from Raven for a second and watched him staring at us, sobbing.

- “I love you so much.”- I whispered and he smiled at me. He leaned in and kissed my lips carefully, and then kissed our baby girl.

- “I love you too, so much. I am so proud of you, ma cherie.”

It was all sweet and fun until that point. But no one ever prepared me for what happened when we took Raven home. Yes, we were ready (or so we thought), but let me tell you this: dealing with a newborn after a week of no sleep is way worse than any unsub's interrogation I had ever dealt with. Way worse.

I felt I was losing my sanity after the first eight days with Raven at home. She didn’t sleep for longer than an hour, which meant neither did we. Breastfeeding wasn’t magical, it was uncomfortable and sometimes even painful, which made me feel like the worst mother on earth. During that first week, I did my best to remain calm and rational. But after eight days of no sleeping, pain due to delivery, swollen breasts, and the irrevocable agony of thinking I was the worst mother on earth, I locked myself in the kitchen and cried my eyes out as I waited for the pot to boil.

Spencer was with Raven in our room, walking around 'cause it was the best way to keep her asleep for more than half an hour. I didn’t want him to know I was crying 'cause I felt useless and pathetic. A voice inside my head kept telling me any other woman would do better than me. Any other woman would be a better mother for Raven and a better wife for Spencer.

I’m not proud to tell you how I felt, I swear. But at that moment, I was overwhelmed.

So I waited for the water to boil and cried as much as I could. Then I put myself together, grabbed a cup, and prepared a cup of hot lavender tea for myself. I also grabbed a bag of marshmallows and ate half of it in less than a minute. Then, I took a deep breath and headed back to our bedroom, where Spencer was still walking our baby. He looked exhausted but kept staring at Raven with the sweetest look in his eyes. It made me feel guilty because he was doing just great and I was a failure. And what was worse: I couldn’t stop thinking JJ was a better BAU mom than I was. She was my only comparison, and as far as I was concerned, she kicked ass. And there I was, failing.

- “She is asleep.”- Spencer whispered and I walked to him, to make sure Raven was well. - “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ve got her.”

- “No, I don’t wanna leave you alone with all the work.” - I argued, knowing it was useless to resist.

- “Every book says that when the baby is asleep, the mother should try to get some rest. Now please, get in bed and nap a little. I’ll be right here with Raven, ok?”

- “But…”

- “Chipmunk, I have to return to work in a few days, please get as much rest as you can while I am still here. I don’t wanna be at work feeling guilty I didn’t do enough to help you.”

- “You’ve done everything, honey.”- I whispered and looked down at my shaking hands. I was still filled with sadness and regret. Feelings I didn’t know how to handle.

- “What are you talking about? You brought her to this world, you feed her, you take care of her. You’ve done more than enough.”- he kissed the top of my head and I just sighed, defeated. - “Get some sleep, ma cherie.”

I was lucky enough to have a large support group. My mom would visit us daily and help us with Raven while we did house chores and napped. Lu, Frank, and Mikey brought us groceries during the first couple of weeks, so we didn’t have to leave the house. Hotch gave us all the free days he could get. But eventually, after a month and a half, my husband had to return to work, and I was all alone at our apartment with Raven.

- “How is my beautiful granddaughter?”- Diana asked as soon as I opened the door. She was visiting after her trip to the Grand Canyon, and my mom had invited her to stay over with her. My mother-in-law was doing so well with her new medication, and she wanted to enjoy as much time with Raven as possible.

- “And Spencer?”- Diana asked, looking around the apartment.

- “He is back to work, starting today.”- I explained and tried not to show how much I hated the idea of him chasing psychopaths and traveling all over the states. Spencer said he would ask Hotch to stay in town, at least for a few weeks, and help the team from headquarters. I wanted him to take a sabbatical from the BAU and teach in Georgetown for a semester. We could live like that, get used to having a baby, and watch her grow. But Hotch needed Spencer, and he said he also needed me back as soon as I was ready.

- “And how many weeks do you have left before going back to work?”- Mrs. Reid asked the dreadful questions as she walked around the apartment holding Raven in her arms.

- “Three more weeks.”

- “And do you want to go back to the FBI?”- Diana was on fire that day, asking everything I didn’t want to think about.

- “I miss my work, but I don’t want to be apart from Raven. I know mom will take care of her when I’m at work, and I don’t wanna travel for the next couple of months. But still, I’m not that excited about coming back to work.”- I explained. However, I left out the most important part: I was terrified of anything happening to us. Getting injured and being in danger was the biggest issue working at the BAU, but before having a kid, I had never felt as afraid as I was then.

- “Why don’t you relax honey?”- my mom asked, probably reading the pain on my face. - “Leave this little princess with us, and have a nice warm bath. How does that sound?”

- “And a nap”- Mrs Reid suggested - “Sleep as much as you want, darling. None of us will feel bad if you need to rest. God knows I needed naps when Spencer was a baby. He was adorable, but the first couple of weeks I was exhausted the entire time. Once I fell asleep sitting at the table, having breakfast.”- I smiled at them and nodded. They were both right. I needed a break before pumping, feeding, and changing diapers again.

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#spencer reid #criminal minds #babymetaldoll writes #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #Spencer reid x fem!bau!reader #Criminal minds fix it

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 1 month

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☠️ Something Dread, Something Red: Chapter Thirty-Seven

Something Dread, Something Red: Stuck in a proposal to a Marine Commodore, you escape minutes before your wedding in one last ditch effort to avoid getting married to a tyrant. Barely making it to the port of your town, you stumble across a ship just starting to leave and beg for passage off the island. You fail to notice that the people you beg for help, are pirates.

Warnings: Alcohol.

To Note: “Red Haired” Shanks x FemReader

Word Count: ~3.4k

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"Are you sure he invited us?" you ask, giving your fiancé a very stern and scrutinous look. You were on your way to Kuraigana Island, Mihawk's place of residence, and you were wondering if the poor man even knew of Shanks' plans.

A smirk tugs at Shanks' lips. "Mihawk? He's aware of everything. Trust me, he's probably already preparing some sarcastic remark for when we arrive. Did I mention he has a very impressive wine cellar?"

You raise an eyebrow. "So our wedding will be entirely based on the fact that Mihawk has impeccable taste in wine?"

Shanks chuckles. "Not entirely. Mihawk's an old friend. It's good to catch up once in a while. He's also a captain which means he can officiate our wedding, treasure. Don't worry, everything will work out." With that Shanks leaves you at the stern, glowering at the idea of dropping unannounced.

Well, the Red Force will continue to sail smoothly towards the dark and foreboding Kuraigana Island in the distance regardless of your wish for proper decorum. As the Red Force draws near, you can see the silhouette of Mihawk's castle looms against the horizon, a stark contrast to the vibrant, bustling atmosphere of your pirate ship. Your heart races with anticipation and unease.

"Land ho!" Yasopp shouts from the crow's nest.

The Red Force slows down, its massive hull creaking as it approaches the dock at the abandoned harbor. You clutch the railing, peering into the thick fog that blankets Kuraigana Island. The place feels otherworldly, almost like a forgotten realm.

“Why is the whole island so dark and gloomy?” you ask, unable to hide the apprehension in your voice.

Benn Beckman steps beside you, his ever-present cigarette glowing dimly in the mist. “It wasn’t always like this,” he begins, his voice carrying a weight of history. “Years ago, this island was home to the Shikkearu Kingdom. It thrived until war and calamity reduced it to ruins.”

You look around, noticing how the desolation seems to seep into every crevice of the island. The air feels thick with memories of a lost era.

“Mihawk took up residence here after that,” Benn continues, nodding towards the looming castle. “He found solace in its isolation. Suits him well—no distractions, no interruptions.”

You glance at Shanks, who’s busy directing the crew as they secure the ship. This is were he wanted to marry you? A confusing idea but no doubt he had his reasons so you would trust him. He catches your eye and gives you a reassuring smile. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, you sense a deep respect for Mihawk and this desolate place.

“Don’t let appearances fool you,” Benn adds, sensing your unease. “Mihawk’s castle might look grim from out here, but inside it’s quite different—full of life and color. You should see that atrium.”

You nod slowly, trying to reconcile the island’s grim exterior with Benn’s description of Mihawk’s sanctuary. The contrast intrigues you, making you eager yet anxious to step onto solid ground.

As the gangplank is lowered, Shanks offers you his hand with a wink. “Ready to meet the ghost of Kuraigana, treasure?”

"If we don't lose ourselves in the fog," you speak, taking his hand and stepping onto the dock. The other men follow suit, Lucky Roux carrying a barrel you suspected contained alcohol, Gab and Limejuice lofting crates of food on their shoulders. Even monster had a bag slung across his body. "What are you planning? A seven day feast?" You continue, eyeing Yasopp who now carries a crate labeled 'explosives'. "And why do you need explosives?"

"A wedding, Lady Captain!" Yasopp booms in reply. You can only hope the explosives were for fireworks and not something actually exploding. However you had seen Gab stuffing extra knifes into his pack before leaving so knife throwing challenges are definitely on the table.

The castle looms ahead, its dark silhouette cutting through the mist like a jagged tooth. The closer you get, the more imposing it becomes. Yet, there's an undeniable beauty in its gothic architecture, a stark contrast to the vibrant life aboard the Red Force.

As you approach Mihawk's castle, the massive doors creak open. There he stands, Dracule Mihawk himself—tall, imposing, with those hawk-like eyes that seem to pierce right through you. You find that your eyes are drawn to the massive sword hanging on his back, the hilt bejeweled and shining.

"Mihawk!" Shanks calls out cheerfully.

Mihawk’s gaze shifts to Shanks and then to you. His expression is unreadable as he steps forward. "Shanks," he says slowly, the name laced with mild irritation. "To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

You shoot Shanks a dirty look which he promptly ignores, and Mihawk definitely catches.

Shanks grins broadly, entirely unfazed by Mihawk's demeanor, or your glare. "I need a captain."

"Whatever for," Mihawk sighs out. "Or have you lost your title?"

Shanks’ grin widens as he steps closer to Mihawk. “I need an officiant, my friend.”

Mihawk’s eyes narrow, his gaze flickering briefly to you and then back to Shanks. “You’re capable of officiating a wedding on your own, are you not?”

A chuckle escapes Shanks as he shakes his head. “I may be a captain, but even I can’t officiate my own wedding. It’s bad form. I need someone I trust to do the honors.”

Mihawk's gaze shifts to you, his eyes narrowing in curiosity and perhaps a hint of disdain. "And who is the brave soul foolish enough to marry you?"

You step forward, lifting your chin with the poise instilled in you since birth. "That would be me," you declare, your voice steady and clear. "Linaria Bonn, though I prefer to go by Aria now."

A flicker of recognition crosses Mihawk’s face, quickly replaced by an inscrutable expression. "The noblewoman who fled her arranged marriage," he states, not as a question but as a fact.

"Indeed," you reply, meeting his gaze head-on. "And now, I'm choosing my own path."

Mihawk studies you for a moment longer, then inclines his head slightly. "You must be quite brave—or perhaps just reckless."

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. "I’ve learned that bravery and recklessness often walk hand in hand."

Mihawk’s eyes flash with something akin to amusement. "Spoken like someone who has faced adversity and come out stronger." He glances at Shanks before returning his attention to you. "Very well. I will officiate this wedding—if only to see what kind of chaos it brings."

"Chaos follows Shanks wherever he goes," you respond with a touch of dry humor. "And I take it with my afternoon tea."

Mihawk’s piercing gaze lingers on you, his hawk-like eyes assessing every inch of your resolve. For a moment, the gloomy island around you fades, and it's just you and the warlord locked in a silent battle of wills. But you don’t flinch or look away. Instead, you hold his gaze, your chin lifted high and eyebrow arched.

A hint of a smile touches Mihawk’s lips, barely perceptible but unmistakable. "You have spirit," he finally says, his voice carrying a note of approval. "Perhaps more than I anticipated."

Before you can respond, Shanks steps in with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Did I mention Aria has an impeccable taste in wine?"

Mihawk's interest piques visibly. His eyebrows arch ever so slightly as he turns to Shanks. "Is that so?"

Shanks nods enthusiastically, clearly enjoying the exchange. "Indeed. She’s quite the connoisseur. It's been rather difficult finding wines she will actually dink."

Mihawk's gaze returns to you, curiosity mingling with respect. "Very well then," he says. "Let's put that claim to the test."

Mihawk offers his arm and without taking your eyes off his incredible hawk-like eyes, you step forwards and slid your hand through his arm. His embroidered jacket feels deceptively soft beneath your fingertips as Mihawk turns to lead you to the wine cellar.

As you walk away, Shanks' voice rings out behind you. "Oi, Mihawk! You better not seduce my future wife with the allure of your wine cellar!"

You can almost hear the smirk in Mihawk’s voice as he replies without turning around. "I assure you, Shanks, my intentions are purely professional."

"I never said mine were," you inject with a soft giggle, smirking to yourself as Shanks groans in exasperation. You glance back to see Shanks shaking his head with a grin, clearly trusting Mihawk despite his playful warning and your teasing words.

Benn slaps his shoulder. "Seems like Aria finally met her match," he says with a smirk.

Mihawk leads you through the castle, his stride steady and purposeful. The air inside feels cooler, a refreshing change from the outside humidity. As you descend into the wine cellar, the earthy scent of aged oak and fermented grapes envelops you. Rows upon rows of barrels and bottles line the stone walls, creating an ambiance that is both inviting and mysterious.

He gestures to a polished wooden table set with an array of crystal glasses. "Shall we begin?"

You nod, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of this unexpected adventure. Mihawk carefully selects a bottle from the nearest rack, its label aged and slightly faded.

"This," he says, holding it up for you to see, "is a vintage from the Muggy Kingdom's prime years. A deep red with notes of blackberry and leather."

He pours a small amount into your glass, the rich liquid catching the light as it swirls. You lift it to your nose, inhaling deeply. The aroma is intoxicating—earthy with a hint of spice.

You take a sip, letting the wine coat your tongue before swallowing. "It's bold," you observe, savoring the lingering taste. "The tannins are firm but not overpowering. There's an underlying sweetness that balances it out."

Mihawk nods appreciatively. "Precisely. The balance is key with this vintage." He pours himself a glass and takes a sip, his eyes closing briefly in contemplation.

He reaches for another bottle, this one with a more vibrant label. "Now, for something different—a white wine from Sabaody Archipelago."

As he pours the pale liquid into your glass, you notice its light, almost translucent color. You bring it to your lips and take a sip.

"It's crisp," you say thoughtfully. "With hints of citrus and green apple. The acidity is sharp but refreshing. A rather pleasing wine for a spring day I should think."

Mihawk smiles faintly. "An excellent observation." He takes his own sip, his eyes meeting yours over the rim of his glass.

The two of you continue like this, moving through various bottles and vintages as if time has no hold on this hidden cellar. Each wine brings its own story—a tale of land and climate, of skillful hands and patient aging.

"This one," Mihawk says, presenting a bottle with an intricate label depicting waves crashing against rocks, "is from Water 7. A complex red with layers of flavor—cherry, tobacco, a hint of Agua Laguna sea salt."

You taste it and nod in agreement. "It's like drinking the essence of the sea itself. How peculiar…"

The hours slip by unnoticed as you and Mihawk delve deeper into the wine cellar, your conversations echoing softly against the stone walls. Each bottle brings with it a new discovery, a fresh wave of flavors and stories that bind you in a shared passion for the art of winemaking.

“This one,” Mihawk announces, holding up a dusty bottle with reverence, “is from a small vineyard in Alabasta. Only a few dozen bottles were ever made.”

You gaze at the bottle with wide eyes, excitement bubbling within you. “Oh I do so wish to have a taste,” you say wistfully, barely able to contain your enthusiasm.

Mihawk’s eyes gleam with mischief as he uncorks the bottle and pours the deep, crimson liquid into your glass. The aroma is intoxicating, rich with the scent of dark berries and exotic spices. You take a sip, savoring the complex layers of flavor that unfold on your tongue.

“Exquisite,” you murmur, closing your eyes to fully appreciate the taste.

Mihawk nods in agreement. “Indeed. The winemaker was a true artist.”

The conversation flows as easily as the wine, each topic leading naturally into the next. You find yourself discussing the merits of various wine regions, debating which climate produces the best grapes.

"Alabasta's dry heat brings out such intensity in the grapes," Mihawk states firmly.

You laugh softly, shaking your head. "But nothing compares to the cool breezes of Sabaody Archipelago. The balance it brings is unmatched."

The night wears on and more bottles are emptied, your inhibitions soon fade away. You feel a lightness in your head, a warm flush spreading through your body.

“I’ve always wondered,” you begin, giggling as you struggle to form your thoughts coherently, “is Rosé closer to white or red wine? I think Rosé is clearly closer to a white wine,” you declare, your words slightly slurred from the wine. “It’s lighter, more refreshing. It’s like a summer breeze in a glass.”

Mihawk, equally inebriated, narrows his hawk-like eyes at you. “That’s where you’re wrong. Rosé is much closer to red wine. The process involves leaving the skins on for a short time, which imparts color and some tannins.”

You shake your head vehemently, nearly spilling your wine. “But it’s not just about the color! The flavor profile is lighter, the body is more delicate. It doesn’t have the same heaviness as red wine.”

Mihawk leans closer, his eyes burning with intensity. “The skins, Aria. The skins are crucial. They give Rosé its character. Without them, it would be insipid, lacking depth.”

You roll your eyes, feeling a surge of stubbornness rise within you. “But what about the acidity? Rosé has a higher acidity, much like white wine. It’s crisp and vibrant, not rich and bold like a red.”

“Acidity isn’t everything,” Mihawk counters, his voice rising slightly. “The structure, the backbone of Rosé comes from the skins and the tannins. It shares more DNA with reds than whites.”

Your cheeks flush with frustration and wine. “Oh please, Mihawk! Just because it has some tannins doesn’t make it a red wine! It’s all about the experience—the lightness, the freshness!”

Before Mihawk can respond, Shanks steps into the cellar, blinking in surprise at the heated exchange before him.

“What in the world are you two arguing about?” Shanks asks with a bemused smile.

You turn to Shanks, gesturing wildly with your glass. “This stubborn man insists that Rosé is closer to red wine! Can you believe that?”

Mihawk crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. “And she insists it’s closer to white wine,” he says with a huff.

Shanks looks between the two of you, clearly amused by your drunken debate. “Is this what happens when I leave you alone with Mihawk for a couple of hours?” He chuckles. “You get drunk and start arguing over technicalities?”

You nod vigorously, pointing an accusatory finger at Mihawk. “He just doesn’t understand!”

Shanks steps closer, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Alright, alright, I think it’s time for bed,” he says, reaching for your hand.

You pull away, shaking your head defiantly. “No! We still haven’t figured out if Rosé is closer to white or red wine!” Your voice rises in pitch as you glare at Mihawk, who simply raises an eyebrow in response.

Shanks rolls his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. “You can debate wine all you want tomorrow. Right now, you need sleep.”

“But Shanks—” you begin, only to have your wine glass gently pried from your fingers. You let out a small noise of protest and your hands paw at the glass now out of reach, but Shanks remains undeterred.

“Come on, treasure,” he says softly, pulling you to your feet. The room spins slightly as you stand, and you grip Shanks’ arm for support.

Mihawk watches the exchange with a bemused expression. “Good luck,” he says dryly to Shanks.

“Thanks,” Shanks replies with a chuckle. “I’ll need it.”

As Shanks guides you out of the cellar, you continue to grumble under your breath. “It’s not fair… We were just getting to the good part…”

“I promise you can continue your debate in the morning,” Shanks assures you, his tone gentle but firm.

You pout but allow him to lead you through the castle halls. The cool air helps clear your head slightly, but you’re still unsteady on your feet. Shanks’ presence beside you is a comforting anchor as he steers you towards the guest quarters.

When you reach the room designated for you, Shanks opens the door and nudges you inside. “In you go.”

You turn to face him, eyes narrowed in stubborn determination. “This isn’t over.”

Shanks laughs softly, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t dream of ending it prematurely.” He leans down and plants a soft kiss on your forehead before guiding you towards the bed. "Sit, let's get you changed into your nightgown."

You sink onto the edge of the bed, your mind still swirling with the remnants of your wine-fueled debate. Shanks kneels before you, his one good arm working deftly to remove your shoes.

“You’re not as steady as you think,” he murmurs, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You huff in response, crossing your arms over your chest. “I was perfectly steady until Mihawk started with his nonsense about Rosé being closer to red wine." You scoff at the idea.

Shanks’ touch is careful, almost reverent, as he sets each shoe aside. You watch him through the haze of wine, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. There's something undeniably comforting about his presence.

He stands and offers you a hand. "Up you go," he says softly.

You take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. The room sways slightly, but Shanks' steady grip keeps you standing. He begins to untie the strings of your dress, his fingers nimble despite the task being more suited for two hands.

You try to help, but your movements are clumsy and uncoordinated. Shanks chuckles softly. "Hold still, treasure," he murmurs. "Let me do this."

You nod and let your arms fall to your sides, trusting him completely. He is so endearingly attractive like this. The dress loosens and falls away, leaving you standing in your undergarments. Shanks unhooks your bra and pulls it from your arms as you blink.

He retrieves your nightgown from a nearby chair and slips it over your head, guiding your arms through the sleeves with practiced ease. The fabric is soft against your skin, and you sigh from happiness.

"All done," he says, stepping back to admire his handiwork. You smile up at him, feeling a sense of calm settle over you.

"Thank you," you whisper, swaying slightly on your feet.

Shanks catches you before you can stumble, his arm wrapping securely around your waist. "Easy there," he says with a grin. "Let's get you into bed."

You pull back from Shanks’ embrace, shaking your head stubbornly. "I don’t want to go to bed yet," you insist, your voice still tinged with the defiance fueled by wine and unresolved petty debates.

Shanks sighs softly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Alright, how about we cuddle instead?" His tone is gentle, coaxing, as if he knows exactly how to navigate your stubbornness.

You pause, considering his offer. The idea of cuddling sounds incredibly appealing. Reluctantly, you nod.

Shanks’ smile widens as he guides you to the bed. "Come on then," he says, settling down and pulling you into his arms. You nestle against him, feeling the warmth of his body seep into yours. His lone arm wraps around you securely, holding you close.

The room is quiet except for the soft sounds of your breathing and the faint rustle of the sheets. You feel safe in Shanks’ embrace, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the swirling haze of wine and emotions.

He strokes your hair gently, his touch soothing. "Feeling better?" he asks softly.

You nod against his chest, feeling a sense of calm wash over you. "Yes," you murmur. "This is nice."

Shanks chuckles softly. "Thought it might be." He continues to stroke your hair, his fingers moving in slow, rhythmic patterns that lull you further into relaxation. Your eyelids grow heavier with each passing moment, the warmth and comfort of Shanks' embrace making it impossible to stay awake.

Date Published: 8/19/24

Last Edit: 8/19/24

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#shanks x reader #one piece shanks #shanks x you #red haired shanks #shanks #akagami no shanks

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askinkiskarma · 1 year

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Cruel Summer | Chapter III: Clean

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 6.6k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, some Spider x Reader, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: You and Neteyam learn to navigate life without the other.

A/N: Hey besties, I’m sorry that this took so long, but I’ve honestly been struggling a little on this website, and it’s taken quite the toll on me. It’s been a weird week(?), in which although I’ve never received more followers and more notes etc., I’ve also never felt more alone, and more disconnected from the platform and the people in it. I think you will be able to tell in the chapter as well. When I was posting the Cardigan series, although I had a lot less followers, I felt like people genuinely enjoyed/connected to the story, and I just don’t really feel that way anymore, and I think I’m still learning to deal with it. Anyway, personal issues aside, I really hope you enjoy this chapter! I think it’s only going to be another couple chapters in this story. I might however make an alternate ending to it? I’ve also had some inspiration for Midnight Rain Part II, and thank you so much for being patient with me with that story, it took me a while to understand what I wanted to do with it, as I wasn’t planning on it having a second part initially. Ramble over, I promise.

enjoy besties ily xoxo

: ̗̀➛ listen to Clean here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

It was months and months of back and forth

You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

“Come on… open the door, please?”

Lo’ak’s voice was pleading and saddened, and so were Kiri’s soft sobs, but you pretended you couldn’t hear them, not their tone nor their words, because hearing them meant acknowledging it and you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge them, or the previous few that tried. Not Jake, not Norm, not Neteyam. Definitely not Neteyam. You couldn’t open that door, because if you did, you would crumble at their feet, you would beg and scream and thrash, and you didn’t want to do any of those things. The anger you felt for all of them, each and every one of them was strong enough to drown any other emotion, any emotion other than overwhelming hurt and anguish that was threatening to tear you apart with each passing moment that these people were standing outside your door, every moment that passed in which they were still leaving, still leaving you behind, leaving you alone.

You were all alone. No matter how many years you have spent by their side, no matter how much Jake promised you were as much their kid as the rest of them, no matter how many hours and days and months and years you have spent stuck to Neteyam like glue, it was all in vain. It was all fake. You would never be a part of their family. All these years, you were just a family pet, that they would pass on to the next owners when the situation called for it. This thought was fuel enough for a new set of wailed cries that you tried to muffle with a hand over your mouth. It took a while, but eventually, they left you to your own devices, left you to deal with the mess they made, a mess you’ll never forgive them for. Never forgive him for.

At the dawn of a new day, the dreaded day, a new knock, more timid and timed bellowed, and the sound rang painfully in your ears.

“Kid… they’re leaving. They really want to say goodbye to you… they all do. Tuk is crying, she’s saying you’re mad at her. Just… just please come out, honey, ok?”

Tuk…

“Tuk can come in. But that’s it.” You hoped Norm couldn’t make out how hoarse and broken your voice sounded, and hope he couldn’t tell that you cried so much in one night that you blacked out from dehydration, only to be woken up by his announcement.Sure enough, a few minutes later, Tuk came in through the door you just unlocked. You tried to wash your face and look a little more presentable, but as you took one swift look in the mirror, you knew it was pointless. You just prayed Tuk wouldn’t notice.

“Come in, baby.” She ran into your arms and fastened her arms around your neck, and you were always shocked at how she was just as tall as you, and somehow even stronger.

“Sister! I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to say goodbye.” She was crying, you realised, as her hot tears spilled down your back, getting absorbed in your cotton top.

“Of course you would, baby. I am so sorry. I’m so sad that you’re going, so I needed some time, but I would never let you leave without telling you how much I’ll miss you, and that I love you so, so much. You’re the best little sister anyone could have ever asked for.” Her high-pitched cries tugged at your heart painfully, but you knew you had to be strong for her. She didn’t deserve any of it, any pain or hurt, anything other than pure bliss.

“I love you, too! I want you to come with. Why can’t you come with?”

You tried to ignore the way your entire body felt like it was being put through the meat grinder, and just focused on her, on her tears and her soft little hair that you caressed gently, and the way her head fit so well in the crook of your neck.

“Because I’m human, baby. And where you are going, they wouldn’t like me. I wouldn’t fit in. But baby, look at me.” You brushed the unruly braids out of her face and her tears from her cheeks, giving her the biggest smile you could muster. “This isn’t goodbye forever. I will see you again soon, and I can’t wait to hear all the adventures you’ve had and all the memories you’ve made. I’m so proud of you, you know? One day, you’ll outgrow me, and I’ll get to watch you be the most amazing warrior ever, just like your mummy is. And I’ll still be your biggest cheerleader, and I’ll watch from the bleachers, like in the movies, do you remember?”

She nods half-heartedly, but her face lights up a little, and you think the worst is over.

“Come, I’m sure everyone’s waiting. I will miss you, sweet girl. Be safe.”

You kissed her forehead and both of her cheeks, and with one last hug, she left.

They left. He left.

Hung my head as I lost the war

And the sky turned black like a perfect storm

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

“How does it feel?” Neteyam watched as you eyed his queue, that was leisurely hung over his shoulder, a glimmer of curiosity in your eyes. He’s noticed you doing that for a while now, and when you were kids, he’s let you touch it once or twice, but it’s been years now, and the situation was no longer applicable. You were no longer just a friend, not quite a mate, somewhere in between, something undefined and awkward, something you didn’t talk about unless absolutely necessary.

“How does what feel, Vol?”

“The Tsaheylu. Connecting to another animal, another Na’vi. How does it feel?”

“I thought you knew about from all your little books.” You rolled your eyes and huffed annoyedly.

“Yes, I do. I know the theory. I know you use it to connect to other beings, to Eywa, I know you can feel each other’s emotions. I know all of that. But how does it feel?”

Neteyam thought about it for a long time. How was he supposed to describe something that was so natural and so quintessential to his life, to his existence, to someone who would never be able to experience for themselves?

“Do you know how sometimes we look at each other and we kind of just have a whole conversation just with one look? Because we know each other so well now, that words are not really necessary? Vol… I know everything you think, and everything you feel. I know you so deep in my soul, it’s hard to separate my own feelings from yours, my own thoughts. You’ve become so essential to my being, it’s like you are a constant part of me.”

He suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed at the confession, and felt like he overshared something that may have been better left unsaid.

“I mean, I-“

“I know what you mean.”

You sighed and got closer to him, and you moved until you were in his lap, in your own little bubble of safety and comfort. It was your favourite place in the world, you once told him.

“I know what you mean too well. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where I stop and you start.”

He felt relieved at your words, relieved to know you understood and felt the same. That you got him.

“Well, there you go. That’s kinda how it feels like.”

“But, how does it feel like? When you mate with someone, does it amplify the sensations, does it… make it better? Make it so you never want someone else ever again?”

The saddened, desolate tone of your voice told Neteyam that you were moving into uncharted territory, that this conversation was taking a turn neither of you were ready or skilled enough to navigate safely. He didn’t know what was the right way to answer something like that. Because the truth was that yes, from his understanding, it did make it better. It made it more intense, more special, it made it everything. There was a reason Na’vi had sex with however many people they wanted, but only bonded with one. It was the bond that separated a sexual experience from a mating experience, from something you would only ever wanted to experience with just one special someone. But he couldn’t say that to you. Not when you didn’t have this ability and never will, not when he knew how much you wanted it, not when there was nothing neither of you could do about it. So he considered a different approach.

“Do you want to touch it?”

Neteyam’s never allowed anyone near his queue before. No Na’vi would. The kuru was for themselves, for their mates and for their mothers as infants. It was the most sensitive and intimate part of them, and so naturally, Neteyam was a little uneasy and nervous. But he trusted you. He loved you. He was in love with you, and would have given anything to mate with you, but maybe this will be enough.

He laughed softly at the way your eyes widened in shock. You understood the implication of what he was asking you, and that scared you both. But still, almost bashfully, you nodded, a soft warm loving smile taking over your features. You softly reached for it and brushed your hands over the length that was draped over his shoulder, a touch so soft, so minuscule that it was barely there, but Neteyam’s whole body shuddered, goosebumps instantly appearing throughout his whole body. You quickly removed your hand, and looked guilty as you spoke.

“I’m sorry. This was probably a bad ide-“

“Hey, stop.”

Neteyam couldn’t help his fingers as they reached out and stroked you face and jaw, making their way down your throat and collarbone. He smirked a little when you shivered under his touch.

“See? Did that feel bad?”

You smiled and shook your head gently.

“It doesn’t feel bad. It’s just… new. But I want you to do it, Vol. I want you to do it.”

A little unnerved, you resumed your inspection of his braid, grabbing at as gently as you could and bringing it up to eye level.

“The hair here is softer.” You mused, almost to yourself. “I love that.”

Slowly, you moved downstream, until eventually, you reached its end, and gasped slowly as the pink tendrils came into view, moving a lot more erratically and enthusiastically than they normally did.

“Why are they doing that?”

“Because of you, Vol.” he said through panted breaths. He was experiencing a range and intensity of emotions he never had before, never in his life. The things you were doing to him, that only you ever did to him, the feelings you evoked in his mind and body, were now intensified a thousand fold, and he was crumbling under their weight.

“It’s doing that because my body feels you. Feels what you’re doing, knows who you are.” He hesitated before speaking, but he needed to get it out, he had to get it out. “It’s doing that because it knows I’m close to someone it… it wants to mate with.”

You removed your hand from him almost like his queue burned you. Your face contorted in a frown and you were struggling to push tears back in your eyes.

“Oh. Well, unfortunately, that’s never going to be able to happen, so…” You removed yourself from his lap and started turning your back to him, but he caught you and held you in place. You were almost face to face like this, which Neteyam was happy about. He had to look into your eyes to get his point across. He had to look into your eyes to get the courage needed to say this.

“Ma Vol, it doesn’t matter.” You scoffed, and the small movement of your head spilled unwanted tears, that you quickly brushed away with your thumb.

“Hey, look at me. Please?” You did so hesitantly. His thumb was caressing your face, your jaw and lips.

“It doesn’t matter. Do you not understand, Vol?” He moved his hand to rest on your chest, above your heart. “I can feel you. I can feel everything you feel. I can feel feel it like I’m going through it. When you’re sad, I’m sad. When you’re happy or shy, or anxious or scared, when you are annoyed or excited, I feel it all. You see? It doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t you get it? It never mattered. Not with you.” A small moan escaped you at his words, that he knew you needed to hear, and he needed to speak out loud. He didn’t know what would happen, didn’t know if he should have, but as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, harsh and needy, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

There was nothing left to do

When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

Neteyam woke up with a mean headache, and he felt almost hungover. He always did these days, pain seeping through every dimension of his life, of his body and mind. The dreams were unrelenting, and they stung each night, so many memories, so many moments he wished he could go back to, that he wished he could relive… that he wish he could forget. It’s been weeks, yet your final interaction still haunts him. How could it not? He didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. Nineteen years of friendship, of being each other’s safety net were swiftly thrown out the window in a split second, and Neteyam found it difficult to cope with the gap you and your presence left behind. There was so much that had to change for him, it felt like every day was a new life he never asked for and didn’t want, but was forced to live through regardless. A strange purgatory, one with warm breezes and crystal clear water and golden sandy beaches. Probably not the worst of purgatories, if Neteyam was honest with himself, but even Heaven could easily feel like Hell under the right circumstances.

“Ok kids, remember, no getting into trouble. Go meet Tsireya and Aonung and train. Pull your weight. Neteyam, once you’ve mastered the ilu, Tonowari said you can start learning how to tame the tsurak. Now let’s go show the Metkayina how the Omatikaya do things, alright, kids?”

“Yes, sir.”

Neteyam walked alongside his siblings to the meeting place they’ve been training every day for the past couple of weeks. As it turns out, the Metkayina can hold their breath underwater for up to 15 minutes, their bodies physically adapted to allow them to, and well… the Sullys couldn’t. So there was a lot of breathing training, on top of swimming lessons and ilu riding practice. Neteyam was frustrated to have to start anew, frustrated that he couldn’t fly every day, the way he has grown accustomed to for the past 6 years since completing his Iknimaya, frustrated that he went from being the future Olo’eyktan to a novice, to a nobody.

Despite everything, he tried. That was in his nature. He would always try, he would always give his best, and he would always make the best out of a bad situation, because that’s who he was. That’s who he had to be. The move left him broken and unmoored, with no purpose and no home, but Neteyam would still keep going, because his family depended on him, and that knowledge alone was enough to keep him afloat just a little while longer.

Neteyam couldn’t help be jealous of his little brother, who not only adapted, but he did so almost instantly. The new place felt immediately like home to the boy who has always felt alone and misunderstood, like a pariah and an outcast. It was the same here, yet somehow, the presence of the Olo’eyktan’s only daughter seem to lessen the blow and make him want to try harder than he ever has before. His breathing technique was better than all of theirs, except Kiri's, most likely due to the extra lessons he was getting every day from Tsireya. Neteyam was proud of Lo’ak, he really was. But he couldn’t shake the feeling of annoyance that once more, whilst Neteyam was plagued with insurmountable challenges and continuous sacrifices, Lo’ak once more got everything he’s wanted handed to him on a silver platter. He just wishes sometimes life could work out in his favour the same way, at least once. At least in one aspect. The one aspect.

The days were long and tedious, but every day something happened that he wished he could tell you about, that he wished you could experience. You loved water. He could just about imagine your face, your thoughts, your every expression, every sound you would make, every undulation of your voice. He could imagine taking you to the mangrove forest and finding a spot just for the two of you, your screams of pleasure drowned by the greenery and the sounds of exotic birds. He could see you taking your mask off despite his complaints, and kissing him, deeply and passionately, smiling as his tongue explored your body, as your hands explored his.

He missed you. He wondered if you missed him too, or if the hatred that probably fuelled your days prevented you from doing so.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

“I’ve missed you.”

You were a mess of tangled limbs on your bed, Neteyam’s warmth enveloping you like a cozy blanket, much more so than the one currently covering you both. His voice was thick and laced with languor, and so sweet, it was making your eyes flutter closed in bliss and soothing relaxation.

“I’ve missed you, too, Teyam.”

Neteyam’s large hand cupped your face, lifting it gently so he could meet your eyes, smiling softly as he did.

“Ma Vol… are you happy?”

Neteyam’s loaded question took you by surprise, and woke you from your near-sleep. You thought about it for a while, pondering the weight of the word. Happy. Were you happy? Happiness was such a strange, abstract concept to you. On one hand, yes, you were. So, so happy. In this moment, you were happy. In every moment you were in his arms, every moment he laughed at your silly jokes, or watched you intently as you spoke about your day, in every moment he was just who he was, your best friend, your confidant, your boyfriend and mate for all intents and purposes, except the one that mattered most. And there was the flip side, the ugly monster, that was ever-present and following you everywhere you went, marring even the most serene, the most beautiful, the happiest memories. The truth. The truth was the antithesis of happiness. Because the truth told you that one day, Neteyam would up and leave you, and when he did, your life as you have come to know it for 19 years will change. Because let’s be honest. Not only will you lose him as a lover, as an unofficial boyfriend, but you knew you would lose him as a friend. You knew that whoever it was that would be his mate would not approve of your friendship, and that, in time, even that will dwindle and fall apart, leaving you completely on your own.

Still, all of that was far away in the future in your mind, and telling Neteyam any of it meant admitting feelings you shouldn’t be harbouring to begin with, so you settled for a white lie. A harmless lie. A necessary lie.

“I am, Teyam.”

“Are you?”

“Right now, I am.”

“Good. Because so I am. I know it’s strange. I hate this place, you know. So many horrible things have come out of it, so much hurt and pain and death, but somehow, being here with you… this room, this bed. Somehow it feels like home. And I think it’s you. I think you’re my home.”

You tightened your grip on his body and didn’t say anything as you allowed yourself the respite of his words, and the hope of tomorrow.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

You woke up in pain, and crying, as you did most nights these days. You were slowly losing hope the nightmares would ever stop, that his face would ever be erased from your mind, both conscious and unconscious, tugging at every strand of sanity you had left, any shred of self-preservation still keeping you going. It’s been long enough that you thought the pain should have subsided by now. Long enough that maybe, just maybe, the world wouldn’t be as dark and gloomy anymore, that maybe while not the whole sun, but at least one ray of it could penetrate the ice that wrapped around your heart, slowly thawing it. But your world was still dark and filled with dim shadows and water that was slowly filling every chamber of your heart and lungs, slowly drowning you.

You got out of bed with a sigh and turned on the shower, water so hot it felt almost scalding on your skin, the only way you showered these days, the only way it was bearable, the only way. Because this way, in your mind, little by little, every inch of skin on your body he ever touched was slowly melting away, and in time, all the cells that died would be replaced with new ones, and in time, your body will be rid of his imprint and then, maybe then, you could finally be free.

You made your way to the dining area, determined to be a productive member of society at least to some extent today, determined to not spend yet another day in bed, replaying the same 10 songs that only made you sadder, or the same show that you have seen so many times you have memorised by heart. Most of the humans and Avatars were there, enjoying some breakfast prior to a long day ahead. There was yet another attacked planned today. Tarsem was a good leader. Strong and capable, unrelenting in his quest to impede as many of the human developments as he possibly could. He was not deterred by the Recoms and he had faith in Eywa’s ability and desire to protect her world and her people, and so far, he has been right. Even with Avatars, they have not been able to find the new Omatikaya base of operations, and you have even found some of them dead in the woods, mostly likely as a result of an attack by all the ikran that lived in the mountains.

“Morning, honey.” Max sent a wide smile your way, that you tried your best to reciprocate.

“Coffee?” The words were music to your ears. You’ve only tasted coffee a couple of times when you were young, before the provisions depleted, but now, with all the trains and helicopters that the Na’vi and Avatars managed to take down, the stronghold had plenty to spare once more.

“Yes, please.” Norm poured you the magic liquid and took a sip of it himself, sighing happily to himself.

“You know, it really does suck that the humans came back, but my God, this is definitely a silver lining.”

You chuckled a little.

“I doubt the Na’vi will see it that way, Norm.”

“No, but outside of coffee and burgers and all the other human things we’ve missed, Tarsem is incredible, kid! We have so many lab supplies, reagents and equipment that we are still trying to unpack, categorise and put together. It’s incredible all the stuff they brought with them. It’s almost like all the stuff we used to do on Earth, they’re trying to bring here. Who knows what we could do with all of it?”

“After breakfast, I can help you with it. This way we can go through it faster and figure it out?”

“That’d be great, kid.”

“Where’s Spider?”

“He’s training with the Olo’eyktan and his men. You know? Tarsem loves him!” Norm laughs heartily. You raise an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, kid! Turns out 19 years of training with Neteyam and Lo’ak under Jake’s supervision really did make him quite the fighter. Now, he’s obviously never going to be able to take the Iknimaya or be one of the people, but Tarsem sees a true warrior in him. Can you believe that?”

You couldn’t really, but you also couldn’t help the swell of pride that overtook you. It was nice to know there was some hope for the humans in the clan after all.

“Why don’t you go with him? You’ve also trained with the kids growing up. I know you split your time between that and being in the lab, but kid, it’s worth a shot. There’s a whole life out there waiting for you, and this way, you get to feel more integrated with the village. This is what you’ve wanted all your life, isn’t it?”

Yeah, you thought bitterly. A different life.

Despite everything, you took Norm’s advice, and spent your time training with Spider and the Na’vi warriors, deepening your understanding of guns, practicing bow and arrows and even learning hand to hand combat from the human Avatars. In the spare time, you helped in the lab, doing experiments and organising all the overwhelming amounts of new things you were receiving from all the raids. It was a good distraction, and it kept you busy sun up til sun down, each day, every day.

You and Spider got closer by the day, even closer somehow than you used to be. You cleaned his wounds and he helped clean yours, although he didn’t know much about how to do it, but in time, you taught him and you enjoyed the feeling of another person helping you, another person healing you. You almost felt the edges of the gaping hole in your chest start to close when you spent your days together.

But no amount of distraction could really keep the nightmares away when they wanted to come and haunt you in the night.

Ten months sober, I must admit

Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it

You woke up panting, crying and tugging at your night gown in an effort to make the pain stop, the gaping hole in your heart that hurt still as badly as that first day, that never seemed to get any smaller, that refused to heal. You barely registered the door to your bedroom sliding open with a soft whoosh, but jumped when you noticed a dark figure approaching you slowly.

“Spider, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry. I just heard you scream, I was worried about you.”

You looked at Spider, your eyes adjusted to the dark enough to make out his beautiful face and his dreads that were getting longer by the day. He needs a haircut, you decided mindlessly. You had to admit his presence was soothing to you, his presence in this room that only Neteyam truly ever came in, that only Neteyam ever slept in, that only Neteyam knew as well and intimately as you did. But Neteyam wasn’t here. Neteyam would never be here again. You winced at the sharp burst of pain that shot through you at the thought.

“I’m alright. Thanks for asking. Just had a nightmare.”

Spider sighed, picking at something on his arm.

“Yeah. I get those too.”

You barely stopped to consider what Spider must be going through, too self-involved in your own heartbreak to recognise his own, one that was probably closer to yours that you could have ever thought. You lost Neteyam, but Spider lost Kiri. You both lost a Sully, both lost a love you cared for deeply, more than anyone could ever understand except the other.

“Ok, well, sleep well. Let me know if you need anything.”

You saw Spider turn around and make his way towards the exit, and you could’t help the voice that came out uninvited.

“Can you… stay? Please? I don’t want to be alone.”

Spider stopped in his tracks, still turned away from you, and you watched as the atmosphere of the room shifted, as the silence became thicker than it had been a few moments ago.

“Yeah… yeah, I can stay.” He slowly walked towards your desk chair that had a few clothes thrown carelessly on it, that he removed and put on your desk instead. He sat down, playing with the height and back support controls.

“Goodnight, gorgeous.”

You laughed quietly.

“Spider, I meant stay with me.” You shuffled on one edge of your bed and patted the other side. You watched his eyes go wide and mouth agape, as he stared at you in shock.

“You don’t have to, if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

He shook his head and lowered his eyes to the ground. “No, it’s not that, it’s just…”

“Spider, it’s ok. Forget I asked, ok?”

“Oh, shut up. I want to, ok? I just needed a second to adjust. Jeez.”

In true Spider fashion, he stomped over to the bed and got under the covers, and slowly turned around to face you. This was a strange feeling to adjust to for sure. You’ve never had a normal sized person in this bed before. You’ve never had anyone else in here before except Neteyam. Spider looked tiny by comparison, even though the young man was almost a whole head taller than you. Your synchronised breaths were the only thing filling up the tense, awkward silence.

“This is a little weird.”

You couldn’t help chuckle. Well, at least one of you acknowledged it.

“A little.” You admitted. “But I’m glad you’re here, Spider.” He gave you a boyish, crooked smile, one that you’ve grown up seeing develop, just like the rest of him had. You never really paid attention to Spider before. To you, he was just your weird, Tarzan-impersonator, lanky and smelly friend, someone that was just always there. After Neteyam, you never really paid attention to anyone, especially of the opposite sex. Why would you? Any second spent on such affairs was a second wasted, in your mind. But now, Neteyam was gone. Neteyam would move on, and he’d find a mate, whether in the Metkayina or back here, if he ever return. It was time for you to pay attention, it seemed. And you did.

Spider grew up into a beautiful man. He was tall and strong, a testimony to the entire life dedicated to living as close to a Na’vi as he possibly could in this body, that was pure muscle. He was completely naked barring a pair of boxers, and even in the cover of darkness, you couldn’t help trace his biceps and pecs, his pronounced collarbones, and settle you gaze on his face, still kind and innocent, still the same kid you’ve known your whole life.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you smiled a little, almost bashful that he caught you, not that you were in any way subtle about it.

“You’re beautiful, you know? I think I’ve always been caught up in my own bullshit to really notice, and I’m sorry for that.” He rolled his eyes, but the blush in his cheeks was so intense it was noticeable even in the dim light coming from the bioluminescent glow of the nature right outside your window.

“You mean caught up in Neteyam.”

It was your turns to blush, hard enough that your cheeks felt like they caught fire. He laughs at you.

“It’s ok. You’re not the only one who knows what it’s like to love someone you can never have, and also not the only one who did things Neytiri would kill you for if she ever found out.” He opened up his arms.

“Come here.”

You hesitated for a second, but couldn’t help the sudden need to be held again, to allow yourself the chance of some sort of connection, some sort of lull in a sea of storms and heartache. Once in his arms, you were once again painfully aware of the difference between him and the man you’ve come to know by heart, the man that still held every part of you hostage, trapped in his hold.

“I know you’ve had a really tough time, and I know that you’re angry, and that most of all, you’re sad that it’s over. I am, too. But the rest of us are still here, you know? The rest of the world is still here. And I think maybe it’s time you give it a chance. Who knows what will happen?”

“How can you be so ok with it? They left us. They abandoned us.” His hand was calloused, but warm and gentle and it caressed up and down your back, and the touch, so familiar and yet so different, brought tears in your eyes as you found yourself wishing once more other hands, bigger and bluer, could do it instead.

“They had no choice. You really think any of them would abandon their home, their family, the forest… any of it, if they could help it?”

You were surprised at Spider’s words and way of thinking, so much more nuanced and level-headed than yours. You knew he was right. You knew it in your head that you shouldn’t blame any of them, shouldn’t blame him, that this was probably even harder for them that it would ever be for you, and yet still, your head and your heart rarely ever got along or saw eye to eye. Your heart was aching, shooting its poisoned blood all throughout your body with every heartbeat, trickling onto every cell, every ounce of you it could get to, making a mess out of you, leaving you reeling and broken, full of hatred and resentment.

“Don’t you… miss her?” He sighed, and stilled his hand movement on the nape of your neck. “I do. I miss them all. But this is a chance to prove myself, to live and show people that I am more than the Sullys’ little pet. And I will take this opportunity and give it everything I got. I suggest you do the same.”

“You should sleep. I’m gonna kick your ass in practice tomorrow otherwise.”

And so you did. And for the first time in months, you had a peaceful night.

Ten months older, I won't give in

Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

The peace didn’t last, as it never seemed to, as Norm burst in the lab one day when you were doing some experiments.

“Kid. I just heard from Jake.”

The mention of Jake’s name stilled you in your tracks. The name and the names associated with it could always do that, will always do that, even though it’s been months. You knew Jake would never risk their cover to get in touch, so whatever the reason for this was, it was serious. You felt a lump in your throat, restricting your airways, making the breaths you took shallow and uneven.

“What’s the matter?”

”It’s Kiri. Something happened to her underwater. She’s unconscious. Jake asked us to come right away.”

Kiri… your sister in all the ways that mattered, you loved this girl with all your heart. The thought of anything bad happening to her was unthinkable to you. Another thought crept unwelcome in your mind, increasing the lump now completely obstructing your breath, that got stuck in your airways. Spider…

Trying to calm your thoughts, you spoke, and the voice scratched your throat painfully on its way out.

“Did you t-… did you tell him?”

“He’s out in the forest. There is no time. Me and Max are going now. Kid… I think you should come with.”

Eyebrows raised and mouth agape, you struggled to gather your thoughts enough to speak, only soft mumbles coming out instead.

“W-wh-“

“Because I think there’s a lot left unsaid. I know you’re angry, and you have a right to be, far be it from me to tell you how to feel, but…” he sighed, and you could tell he felt uneasy speaking to you about this. “Spider got some closure. You didn’t. Take it from an old man, life’s too short to not have some peace of mind. Kiri’s unwell, and if something happens to her, you will regret for the rest of your life not having said a proper goodbye when they left, when they wanted to.”

“I know it’s not what you want to hear, but they did think they were protecting you by leaving. You know they love you, kid. You’re their sister, their best friend. You’re as good as Jake’s daughter. They wouldn’t have left if they ever thought they had a choice.”

“Look, you don’t have to come. I just want what’s best for you, and I think isolating yourself the way you’ve been doing for months isn’t what’s best for you. Just come. Help us save Kiri, say your peace to the Sully family and then maybe you can move on, honey. And who knows… maybe you and Spider…”

You refused to think about his last sentence and focused on how your mind was short-circuiting at his other words, at his desire for you to join, at the thought of seeing them again. Of seeing him again. Your heart was beating so hard it felt like it was trying to escape your ribcage, and you ran your hand up and down your arms in order to remove the sweat that was gathering on your skin. You knew you probably shouldn’t, you knew that you were better off never seeing them again and forgetting the way his touch and his presence and his voice still had the power to make your knees buckle under the weight of what he meant to you, of the calamitous love you will always feel for him, but another thought, more pressing and urgent, more demanding, made you speak before your mind could intervene.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr@bananafruityawne @liluvtojineteyam @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @netemoon @www-interludeshadow-com

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jasntodds · 3 months

Text

Penance [2]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,134

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, some canon violence

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter!! It's just the beginning of what's to come!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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By the time the next day rolls around, Jason still doesn’t know Dick has asked you to help out. He thinks it’s just him which does have him wondering why Dick didn't ask you. It seems a bit odd given your whole friendship with Tim anyway but he chalks it up to maybe you being busy. Molly mentioned you were working on a case that kept you pretty busy. Maybe you've just been preoccupied with that to actually help. Jason isn’t sure and he isn’t entirely sure why it matters. It doesn’t. It shouldn't.

Jason gets ready to go find Tim. Dick sent him the time Tim should be arriving in Gotham with the specific instructions Dick gave Tim. Jason thinks about how if only Tim knew how lucky he was that Jason is going to be there. Tim has almost no training at all and Dick has basically thrown him to the wolves, or so Tim will think. And Jason can’t help but even feel a little excited over this whole thing. The last time he saw Tim, he was lying on the ground dying. Because of him. This is how he can start to repay Tim for the damage he caused him and his family. It is the least he could possibly do. Tim might not like him after, but he will be prepared and he will be a good Robin. Jason will make sure of it.

Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn’t too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It’s a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn’t entirely sure what he’s going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he’ll just take it from there. It’s not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he’s not sure what Tim will even be doing.

Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.

Meanwhile, you’ve made your place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And you can’t help but feel excited to see him. You miss him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it’s under the circumstances of Robin. There’s also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.

Seeing him means there’s going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of you being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There’s going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It’s going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will you even be able to pick up where you left off? Or will you fall into an awkward dance where you both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and you really hope he’s okay and happy. You’re excited just to see how he’s doing.

You’re laying on your stomach to take cover while you watch over the ledge but your fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It’s the hope this goes okay, that he doesn’t hate you. That Tim is happy to see you both. That Tim doesn’t get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood your system. Why did you agree to this?

Commotion starts from below you and you see Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, you can tell the suit is a little different than Jason’s and Dick’s. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it’s longer. It fits him actually. You stand on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand.

Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they’re faster than he is and better. You know Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so you use the grappling hook to lower yourself down but before your feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as your feet hit the ground, you nail the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with your arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.

Of course, he beat you to it.

Jason’s eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see you tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing you throws him off. It’s a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but you travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just…two nights in a row seems…odd.

“I had that covered.” You state through your mask.

Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between you. Your mask always muffled your voice a little but it’s still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.

“Where the fuck did you even come from?” Jason quips back.

He is eternally grateful for the helmet. You wre always best at reading him. You could read every expression that ever washed over his face no matter how subtle it was. It was as if you could read each other's minds half the time and he is so glad you can't see him. His eyes are scanning you over, noticing nothing too new in the suit. It still fits you just as it always did, perfectly fitted in the all right places. His eyes go back up to your face, the hood is pulled onto your head. He catches the yellowing around one of your eyes and he almost asks what happened before he swallows it down. It's not entirely his place to ask at the moment but he thinks you're still just as beautiful today as you were the first time he saw you and the last time he saw you.

You point to the roof. “Clearly. And you?” You question, keeping your voice flat and curious, trying to conceal your own nerves.

Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. “Clearly.” He echoes as he stands next to you.

It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get you two to communicate and…maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can’t focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.

He needs to help Tim which means he can’t let his feelings for you get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he’s ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to you doesn’t make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses you so fucking much it physically pains him. He can’t find himself to be mad because you’ll never abandon Tim so even if you don’t speak to Jason while you help him, at least he gets to see you as you. Like old times even if it doesn’t last and for that, Jason is happy.

Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and you swear you swallowed your heart. He looks so good. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and you think you’ve melted at the sound of his voice.

His voice is somehow better than you remember it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and you’ve never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of your mouth because your lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation you had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.

Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and you’ve just been sucked right back into it.

You miss him so fucking much.

Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. “I’m Robin.” Tim states as if Jason should have known.

The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason’s lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It’s weird because it almost feels…hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he’s not. It hurts in the way he’s reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There’s almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn’t work for Dick. He didn’t die as Robin but it didn’t work for him. Jason was killed. Where’s that going to leave Tim?

On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn’t. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn’t. The people need a Robin and he doesn’t really know Tim but you do and Gar does. He trusts you both and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It’s a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.

“Hey.” You chime as you walk closer to him.

Tim’s smile splits his face. “Hey, how’d you know I’d be here?”

“Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you.” You laugh softly before you pull him into a gentle hug. “You should have told me.” You say as you pull away, your hands coming to his shoulders as you look over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason’s.

“Yeah, I thought I could handle this.” Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job.

“Clearly, you were wrong.” Jason closes the distance between you. “You’re lucky we showed up when we did.” Jason stands right beside you as you drop your hands from his shoulders, maybe you looking over the suit makes Jason want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I got that.” Tim nods his head. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” The smile reaches your eyes as you beam back at Tim.

Jason’s eyes narrow at you slightly. You seem awfully happy. He knows Tim is your friend but you just seem overly happy or maybe he’s in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking you up from Titans Tower and it was…similar. It’s like he’s getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing you were not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of your feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved you look happy instead of pissed off Dick set you up. He’s just thankful you haven’t run away. Yet.

“What’re you doing here anyways?” Jason asks with the nod of his head at Tim.

“Dick sent me.” Tim starts before explaining this whole fake plan thing Dick sent him on while you and Jason pretend to act as if you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Jason nods his head. “Well, it's getting pretty late. I got a place. Come on.” Jason jerks his head down the alley before he starts walking, not even waiting for a response.

“Wait, really?” Tim asks with hope.

“Before I change my mind.” Jason states, his back fully towards you and Tim before he puts the helmet on.

Tim’s eyes are wide with excitement. He gets to work the Red Hood?! He knows it’s Jason but he was the second Robin and he doesn’t even know much about him. Gar and you talk about him and he met him a few times but this is totally different. Red Hood is going to help him with this?

“You can ride me with. I’ve got an extra helmet. I figured you’d need a ride.” You put a hand on his shoulder before nodding towards Jason. “My bike’s not far.”

The three of you make your way to Jason’s bike that’s closer and then to yours before you and Tim follow Jason to his safe house. It’s the one you took him to when Crane kidnapped him. You stare up at the building for a few seconds, feeling something a bit bitter in the back of your throat over it. Jason can move on, you hope with everything in you that he is, but as someone who cares about him, it's your job to be bitter and pissed about everything Crane did to him forever.

Tim and you follow Jason into the building, now the three of you in your street clothes after taking a detour to change. You've almost had your eyes practically glued to Jason ever since. And it’s taking everything in Jason to focus on the task at hand and not stare at you with a million questions.

The hallway is messy. There’s stuff on the floor everywhere and even though Jason is walking ahead of you, you can’t help but narrow your eyes at him. Surely, he has time to pick up the floor instead of kicking things to the side as he walks by. Jason is always so meticulous with things he likes but he just can’t help the mess in a hallway or his room for some reason.

“Venta?” Jason asks, keeping his steady pace ahead of you and Tim.

“Yeah.” Tim starts. “He lives down on Harbor.”

“Never heard of ‘em.” Jason states, walking through the hallway where he has a laptop set up before he starts typing away at something.

“Dick says he’s got information on the Organization.” Tim explains as he stands beside Jason, resting his arm on the open counter space.

“He sent you to get intel on the Organization?” You ask.

“Yeah.” Tim says casually, but almost like he wants to be offended you'd question it but then he looks between you and Jason. “Maybe we could team on this.” Tim suggests. “The three of us.”

Jason looks to him, struggling not to glance at you before he turns around and starts walking away swiftly. “I don’t team anymore.” Jason says as the laptop makes a noise, you peaking over at it as Tim trails after Jason.

Security system, and a nice one, too. It looks at least similar to the one used at Wayne Manor and in the Batcave. There seems to be some sort of cloaking system to shield his location from anyone who might be looking for him. You've heard he’s made several big-name enemies in Gotham already which is not surprising. Gotham’s newest crime lord is going to take some heat. Of course, he's protecting himself. You're actually relieved by the system. Maybe the security system lets Jason get some sort of sleep.

“Security activated.” The computer sounds through the speakers above the three of you.

“You don’t understand.” Tim defends while you move to catch up with them. “Brother Blood put my boyfriend in a coma.” Tim watches as Jason climbs the stairs before he quickly follows suit, you right behind him.

Jason knows he has to play this off, even if Tim is going to nag him all night. If Jason immediately jumps to help him, Tim won't learn a damn thing and he'll probably figure it out. Jason has heard all about Tim's intelligence and detective skills. If Tim is going to be Robin, Jason's not going to make it easy.

“How long you been doing this Robin thing?” Jason asks.

“Um…” Tim stutters as him and you enter one of the rooms with Jason, Jason still several feet ahead of you. There’s workout equipment, monitors, a fridge. It looks like this is where he trains and keeps his eyes on Gotham. “Not long.” Tim says.

“A couple weeks?” Jason asks as he looks over his monitors on the far end of the room.

“Not quite.” Tim states, looking around the room.

“A week?” Jason asks.

“Last night was my first night.” Tim admits, almost sounding defeated.

You nearly cackle. “Sorry, what?” You spit back as Jason turns around. The two of you exchange a look of surprise and confusion. Dick did not say Tim had no training.

"Yeah..." Tim looks between you and Jason, unsure where you're going to take this conversation. He hopes it'll get you both on his side. He could use the help.

“Oh, the suit did look fresh off the rack.” Jason states. This is going to take a lot of time and effort. “If I were you, I’d get out of Gotham. Take some reps in like Tucson or some shit.” Jason states as he leans his lower back against the table with the monitors, his hands holding the edge of the table.

“Shit’s been quite a bit messy lately and the Bat’s outa town.” You explain as you cross your arms over your chest.

“Dick sent me here to find Venta.” Tim nearly cuts you both off.

“Your funeral.” Jason shakes his head. “You can crash here if you don’t have plans.” Jason gestures a hand out, offering his place for Tim. “I mean, there’s eggs, beer, cheese.” Jason gestures quickly to the fridge sitting on the wall facing Jason on the opposite side of the room.

“That is a lovely diet, Jason.” You mutter back, earning you a bit of a glare from Jason.

It's not exactly like Jason to not have some sort of variety. Generally, he eats pretty healthy in order to maintain the muscle and physical fitness to do this whole thing but eggs and cheese aren't exactly the healthiest thing, especially with the addition of beer. You know he's been busy with Red Hood, helping Barbara. But, you wonder if this is one of those things Molly and Gar are worried about. You make a mental note of it to ask later.

“Been busy.” Jason quips back, almost gauging how you’ll respond.

“I can see that.” Your eyes widen as your hands gesture around.

“Thanks.” Tim interrupts you, unsure if this will be an argument or some weird banter thing you two do. Tim sets the case with the suit against the wall and that’s when he sees a clear board with a cipher on it that looks like Jason’s been trying to crack. “You working on something?” Tim gestures towards it as he starts walking towards it.

“No. I’m paying the fucking cable bills.” Jason quips back.

“Need some help?” Tim asks, his hands in his pockets as he looks over the cipher.

“Since you’re being nosy,” Jason starts before he walks over to Tim, you joining on the opposite side. “Shimmer’s been pulling off high-end heists all over Gotham.” Jason explains. “Sending ciphers as clues.”

Tim looks over the cipher a bit more and he’s got it. He reaches over for the eraser next to the board and starts erasing some of the code Jason has cracked.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jason questions.

“You got your A right but your coding’s off.” Tim explains making you stifle a laugh.

“Fuck you.” Jason defends as he watches Tim.

“It’s a Fibonacci Sequence.” Tim states. “Each number is the sum of two numbers that precedes it.” Tim explains. Jason and you take a step back to watch Tim work. “K-L-E-I-D-S-C-O-P-E.” Tim spells it out, writing each letter. Tim takes a step back, a proud smile on his face while the three of you look over the word.

“Kaleidoscope.” Jason states. “Oh, shit.” Jason starts, rushing over to this phone sitting not the table beside the board.

“I just had fresh eyes.” Tim states, still looking at the board.

“Right, nothing to do with being a genius or anything.” You quip back.

“Hey, Babs.” Jason says with the phone now pressed to his ear. “Uh, Kaleidoscope Auction House. That’s the target for Shimmer’s next hit.” Jason explains before he pauses, looking back at Tim for just a second. “And I’ll take my usual percentage.” Jason says before he hangs up the phone. “So, you are really smart.” Jason states.

“Told you.” You mutter.

“It’s nothing, really.” Tim brushes it off.

“Right.” Jason nods his head. “So, what’s your plan anyways? Stick around Gotham until you find this guy?” Jason asks before he walks over to the fridge, you pull up a seat by the monitors.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Tim shrugs. “I asked around tonight but no one seems to know what I’m talking about.”

Jason nods his head, beer now in hand before he opens it. “Want one?” Jason asks. "Water, Gatorade?" Jason offers before his eyes go back to you. "I have other shit."

You roll your eyes, pathetically putting your hands up in defense, keeping your mouth shut this time. For once, you can't quite tell if your subtle jabs are actual jabs or if it's what you usually do. At this point, you're too afraid to ask because either answer sounds a bit too much.

“No, thanks.” Tim states.

Jason pulls a blue Gatorade from the fridge before crossing the room and offering it to you. It wasn't even a thought Jason had because you've always been someone who will not accept an offer of a drink and then drink his. It was more of a reflex to grab the Gatorade for you. A gentle smile pulls at your lips as you take it softly from him, careful not to let your hand brush his.

“Asking the wrong people probably.” Jason answers as he leans against the table in the space right beside you. “Or they don’t you seriously.” Jason uncaps his beer with the remark.

“Second one.” You state as you uncap your bottle.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tim looks back at the both of you.

“You got your ass kicked tonight.” You state. “I got a feeling you aren’t very good at being intimidating.” You shrug your shoulder casually before you take a drink.

“Hey,” Tim gestures toward you. “I figured out all of you guys and got you to cave about it. I’m pretty good, I think.”

“You’re my friend and I felt bad for lying.” You chortle before you take a sip. "I was at no point ever intimated by you."

“If she didn’t want you to know, she never would have led you to believe otherwise.” Jason takes his own drink knowing damn well you could have, at the very least, hid your own identity from Tim if you really wanted to.

“Still, one of them would have told me! I’m Robin.” Tim tries to defend himself, his voice almost defensive until it finally hits enthusiastic with the mention of 'Robin'.

The way he says it makes you burst out laughing. The amount of times you've heard the words 'I'm Robin' with so much pride and enthusiasm makes it funny. It’s the innocence and confidence Robin brings. Tim isn’t as…cheerful, enthusiastic about it as Jason was. Tim has seen the horrors already but…there is something familiar about it that makes you laugh. You hope he's able to keep that.

Jason thinks he’s melted into the ground with your laugh. The hard part of this whole thing is not going to be training Tim. That’ll be easy. The hardest part is going to pretend like it isn’t killing him to act like this is all fine with him and you. It is killing him not to poke fun at you or ask about everything. This is going to be torture.

“That what I sounded like?” Jason asks quietly.

“Kind of.” You nod your head at him, a soft and beaming smile directed right at him.

“What?” Tim questions.

“Nothing.” You brush it off. “Okay, look, why don’t you stay here with Jason for tonight and I’ll come by tomorrow. We’ll go look together.”

“You do teams?” Tim quips.

“No.” You shake your head, knowing that is a bald-faced lie. “But you’re my friend and I help my friends.”

“Okay, yeah, cool.” Tim smiles widely. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” You nod softly before clearing your throat. “I’m gonna head out then. Uh…” You pause for a second before you get to your feet. “Molly is probably waiting for me so I’ll just text you what time to be ready.” You offer Jason a nervous nod and closed-mouth smile.

You make your way to Tim, giving him a quick hug before you head for the door. Jason almost lets you. But, seeing you and feeling this way? It’s not what he wants. He doesn’t want you to be here just because Dick asked you. He doesn’t want you to be here just for Tim. He can’t just pretend this is all fine.

“I’ll, uh, walk you out.” Jason pushes off the table, earning you to turn around, raising a brow at him.

“Uh...yeah, yeah, okay.” You nod slowly. “Thanks.”

“Don’t touch anything.” Jason warns Tim before catching up to you.

You and Jason walk side-by-side out of the room and your stomach is swirling, turning into a goo. You're nearly vibrating from nervousness being around him again. And he looks so good. He looks healthy. The last time you saw him, he was covered in scrapes and bruises but there aren’t any on his face. You know there have to be some under his clothes but his face looks good and his cheeks aren’t as hollowed as they were before. His hair is fluffy just as it always was. He looks good.

Jason glances at you and Jason Todd is not one to get nervous but he is so nervous right now he’s stuffing his hands in his pockets just because his hands are sweating too much. It’s you and he has no reason to be nervous but his heart is thundering in his chest and he wants to smile ear-to-ear. Everything is different but it almost doesn’t feel that way. His heart is beating for you right now just as it did from day one to day 100. It only ever beats for you.

The two of you reach the door, standing and facing each other. There should be sort of 'see you later' exchange that happens but neither of you entirely know how to do that. Not with each other. You were friends, then friends with benefits, then together, and now you're exes. A handshake still feels far too professional given the intimacy that stands between you and the horrors you've endured together. A wave feels fucking pathetic. And a hug seems a bit out of the question.

It's not even like either of you want to do this whole 'see you later' thing. You both have endless questions and if tonight ends, tomorrow will begin and it might be different again. Jason doesn't want to risk anything in this. So, instead of fumbling his way through a goodbye that would haunt him in his sleep for the next ten years, he starts conversation just to stall you a little.

“What’d you do?” Jason jerks his head, pointing towards the bruise on your eye and he almost touches it. He has to force his hands to stay in his pockets.

“Oh, uh,” You smile softly, touching the yellow with your fingertips. “Molly, actually.”

“No fucking way.” Jason chuckles.

“Yeah, uh, been training her a bit.” Your brows furrow just for a second before you lick your lips. “She asked just to be prepared walking home or some shit. Um…and uh, obviously, you taught her a thing or two. But, she actually fell and I got an elbow to the face.”

Jason lets out a booming laugh and you forget how to breathe. It sounds just as lovely as it did before. Booming and loud, thunder shaking your rib cage free of all its pain.

“It was an accident?”

“Yeah.” You nod quickly. “Fucking painful one. This shit is two weeks out. My eye was swollen shut for like two days!”

Jason keeps laughing and his nose scrunches. You swear he’s still the cutest person to ever walk the earth. How could anyone not be in love with him?

“Sorry, you alright?” Jason asks, but the smile is still ripping across his face as he licks his lips.

“I am fine, thank you.” You nod your head, a soft smile on display. “You, uh, you look good, Jay.”

The nickname sends his head into a spiral. He can’t believe after everything you’ve done to each other and the time that’s passed, you can still make him feel this way. You make him feel like everything is gonna be alright somehow. And he makes you so happy. Something so simple and it’s just joy.

“Thanks.” Jason nods his head. “So do you.” His eyes soften with the ease of his words.

“Thank you.” You pull in a breath.

There’s a silence that falls over you and something hits you both. This is a request from Dick. It wasn’t supposed to be a reunion for you. It just happened to work out that way. Jason still did all of that and you still hurt him and betrayed him. Neither one of you had the courage to call the other. It took Tim coming here needing help. Something about that really hurts. Your minds take over even as happy as you are to see each other, to feel the love blossom through your chests. But, you look at each other and wonder how you could ever ask for forgiveness, especially with each other looking so good. So, you don’t. You punish yourselves.

“Molly’s helping me, by the way.” You blurt out on purpose, knowing it’ll piss him off.

You aren't trying to hurt him, you're just pissing him off. Jason will snap and fire back and you think you'll deserve it. Jason Todd has been very good at pushing everyone away and you've been very good at running. But, you know Jason expects you to run. If he ever wanted to forgive you for some reason, he'll know exactly what to do. So, you take a page out of his book and push. It'll catch him off guard, piss him off, and it'll be what you deserve anyway. You push.

Jason shakes his head, eyes widening. “What the fuck does that mean?” He snaps, searching your face for any indication this is some sort of joke.

“She helps me as Bluejay.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Why the fuck would you let her do that?!” Jason nearly demands as he crosses his arms.

Molly is his friend, too. He knew something was going on but he didn’t think Molly was actually helping. At this point, he's pretty sure the two of you have lost your damn minds. Molly didn't even agree with Batman and Robin and now she's helping? All people do in this path is get hurt or worse. Jason isn't going to give it up and he'd never ask anyone to. But, why the fuck would you let Molly help you? If he knows you at all, he knows you shouldn't be happy about it.

“She asked.” You keep your voice nonchalant, knowing that'll irritate him even more.

“Oh, so fuck it, right? She asked and you’re just gonna let her? And what the fuck are you gonna do when someone figures it out, huh?” Jason seethes as he tosses his right arm to the side.

“Oh, but it’s fine for Tim, right?” You question back as you blink at Jason. He doesn't seem to have a single issue with Tim, just Molly which is some of the ammo you were looking to get out of this.

“He wouldn’t leave any of you guys alone!” Jason defends, his hands shooting out to his sides. Molly and Gar have said they're worried bout you and while he's getting pissed off, he's also growing worried. Starting an argument with him is very uncharacteristic. “Molly isn’t a fighter! You’re putting her in harm’s way!” Jason shakes his head before clocking the Tim remark entirely. “I don’t have a fucking say on if Tim’s Robin, by the way. He’s your fucking friend, too! The fuck are you mad at me for?”

“But you were the previous Robin!” You snap back and you aren’t even sure why you do it. You don't want Robin to be the topic of the argument because that isn't fair. You just can't help it, your mouth is moving faster than your guilt and reason. “You’re not bothered by it at all but I have Molly working on a computer and that’s not fine?” You spit back.

Ow.

If there's anything Jason knows about punishing himself, it's what pushing looks like. He's not entirely sure what is setting you off but there's something. You're hitting a low blow bringing Robin into it and while he doesn't want to fight, it hits an exposed nerve. Jason Todd has always hated feeling exposed.

Jason shakes his head with a bitter laugh. “You haven’t fucking talked to me in over a month but now you think you know how I fucking feel about a Robin?” Jason lets out a scoff. “And yeah because Molly doesn’t need to be in the fucking middle of some bullshit you won’t be able to handle. You’ll get hurt or some bullshit, go to her, and you’ll be tracked. You don’t have a security system, bet your locks are shit, what’re you gonna do, huh?”

“Yeah, well, phones work both ways, Jason.” You spit back, choosing to ignore the second half of the argument. He isn't wrong and you know it. “Molly wouldn’t leave me alone about it and ya know, in my experience, the more we let people not help when they are adamant, they do it anyway and then they die or get hurt.” You scoff back. “Seemed better this way.” Sam nearly mutters it bitterly.

Jason can feel his heart breaking again because this isn't about Molly. He knew it wasn't but it's still about him. He's thinking you're not over the fact that he died which you should not be. But, it almost feels like you're choosing to blame him for his own death and that's something he never thought you would do.

“The fuck is that supposed mean?” Jason asks, his voice rough and angered but he’s not yelling. That’s always the most hurtful form of Jason Todd.

Too far. Too far. Too far.

You never intended to hurt him. It's just...maybe there's a lot of unsaid things from both of you because you both were always so worried about fucking it up. What's left to fuck up now?

You backpedal anyway because it is not fair. It's not his fault. “Nothing.” You shake your head.

“No, tell me what you really mean.” Jason keeps his stance, his voice unwavering.

Jason sees it as you blaming him but that's not true. The way you see it, if people want to help, maybe they're better off to help. Jason and you were held captive and dropped from a Skyscraper because you wanted to help and Dick said no. Jason wanted to be Robin and help and Bruce ripped it away. Tim wanted to help but everyone said no. Anytime someone really wants to help, they do and then they get hurt or worse. Molly was going to try and help one way or another. This way, you can keep an eye on her. Though, you can't quite bring yourself to explain it all.

“You. Me. Tim. Dick. Gar. Rachel.” You explain. “All of us.”

“And we were fucking thrown into this shit. All of us.” Jason argues his side. “I sure as shit didn’t pick it--”

“But you would have!” You scream back because it all just hurts again. He's lying to himself if he doesn't think he wouldn't have picked Robin if it were a choice. “Don’t pretend like Robin was some burden thrown onto you because he wasn’t! You loved it. You still do. Bruce may have weaponized you but he offered it to you and you took it.”

He knows you're right. Of course, he would have picked it. It was the coolest and greatest thing to happen to him at the time. He was useful and he was enough. He was finally fucking good at something and he was finally good for something. It made him feel like he belonged somewhere even if it didn't last. Of course, he'd do it again. As hard as it is, as tortuous as the last few months have been, he doesn't think he'd do anything differently.

“Fine, what about you?” Jason quips back. “Dick gave you a fucking choice. I remember that.” Jason scoffs. “You’d take it all back? If you knew how this ended.”

“Of fucking course I would, Jason!” Your voice finally cracks. “Yeah, I’d never fucking ask you to help me and I never would have went after Deathstroke with you or Jerry or any of this shit. If I could go back, I’d undo it.” You pull in a shaky breath and lower your voice. “It hurts all the time. I’d undo it.” You give him a sad and defeated shrug.

It hurts to say it but a part of you, really thinks you'd undo it if given the chance. Maybe you would just tell Dick no. Maybe it wouldn't be like this today. But, there is a larger part of you thinking you wouldn't be able to undo it. A lot of good came out of you being a Titan. You found this family and maybe had you just said no, it wouldn't be like this. You've been able to save a lot of people since being back on Gotham and doesn't that make it all worth it? The greater good should win.

You're looking at Jason and you wouldn't undo that. A lot of good came out of you being a Titan. Finding a family and new friends, Molly, learning how to properly fend for yourself and knowing you don't have to. It's all good. And Jason. A lot of good came out of being a Titan and Jason is so intertwined in that, you'd never be able to undo it without undoing you two.

You would never be able to.

You don't want to and this whole argument was just so stupid.

Jason looks to the ground and he knows what you mean but so much of you is intertwined in doing this that undoing that, almost feels like undoing you two. He knows that's not what you mean and you're angry over something Jason isn't sure what. You've talked about it. It's just harder today. It doesn't stop it from hurting though.

“Why put that on Molly then?” Jason brings his voice back down.

“Because you’d do it all over again.” You say softly. “Because Dick would do it over again. And Bruce and Tim and Kory and…all of them without even thinking twice about it. I think even Gar would. Molly won’t regret it and you know that.” You strengthen your voice.

This is stupid. He’s supposed to be doing better here but he fights you anyway. The punishment to himself and you started it. But…it doesn’t feel good to be here again. He doesn’t want to be here. He has fought tooth and nail to be alone and now that he is, he doesn’t like it too much. It hurts to be here alone. It hurts to be here without you. Jason promised you he’d make it up to you one day and yeah maybe he could have called and you could have called. But, neither of you did. Jason tells the voices in his head to shut the fuck up and he bites back at them.

“Just…make sure she’s safe.” Jason swallows thickly, catching you off guard. Jason never backs down. “You’re probably right. Molly can be pretty persistent.” He backs down for himself and for you. He won't let you punish yourself this way. You never let him.

“Yeah…” You trail off, tugging the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands as guilt eats away at your bones. “I didn’t want her help.” You whisper, caving, too. It doesn’t matter what you think you deserve and don’t deserve. Jason doesn’t deserve someone to push him away if he’s trying. That’s not fair. “But…it doesn’t work telling people no so…I make sure she’s okay.” You nod your head. “She is only my eyes in the sky. No one even knows I have someone on the inside.”

“Good.” Jason nods his head. “Yeah…” Jason trails off, his stare going to the floor, the white streak hanging loosely over his forehead.

One of you has to bring it up. One of you has to bring up the time you’ve spent apart. One of you has to say something besides the unsaid words that are nearly strangling you both. It will always feel giddy with a sense of dread and awkwardness unless you do. You always apologize.

“I’m sorry for not calling.” Jason states, catching you off guard and it’s like he’s just stacked twenty more pounds of guilt onto your pile. A lump grows in your throat and not once did you ever actually blame him for not calling you. You think he shouldn’t in order to protect himself. “I just…got busy and I don’t know.” Jason shrugs his right shoulder. “Should have.”

“I-I’m sorry, too.” You nod your head. “I, uh…yeah, busy.” You nod your head, swallowing the lump in your throat and biting back tears.

He has nothing to be sorry for.

Jason’s heart sinks because there’s something wrong. There is always something in the way you stutter around him that gives it away. It got to the point where you almost never did. You almost never tugged your sleeves down. It’s more of a nervous tick than anything and now you're doing it again. You're too exposed around him again and Jason can’t help but feel it’s all his fault and it’s too late. The thing you had, that strength that ruins mountains, has just wilted away. He thinks it might be his biggest regret.

“I’m really sorry.” You say more clearly this time. "For, uh, f-for not calling and uh, arguing with you just now. I, uh...I-I don't know." You tug the collar of your hoodie down just a bit, feeling suffocated by the fabric but then Jason sees the silver of a necklace around your neck.

You still wear it?

You open your mouth to talk but Jason cuts you off.

“Is that the necklace I gave you?” He blurts out before he can even process it.

He needs to know.

You look down, seeing the chain stare back a you before you pull the pendant from your hoodie and Jason wants to combust.

“Yeah.” You state, the infinity charm staring back a you. “Uh…” A smile pulls at your lips. You never take it off even when it all feels hopeless because maybe, just maybe, it's not just the cliche of infinity of you but some sort of symbol of hope that you'll find your way back to each other one day. “I know we haven’t talked and this shit feels awkward and shit but uh, I don’t know.” You lick your lips. “Figured Molly would call if you something happened and then…you’d know.”

You're realizing how dumb this whole thing. Maybe you can’t have what you really want. Maybe that’s not how this is meant to be. But you know he checks up on you and you know he knows you do the exact same. It’s silly and ridiculous for you to tiptoe over each other as if you haven’t witnessed each other at your best and worst. You held his lifeless body in your hands. Jason saves your life. Being a part from each other…not worth it.

A smile pulls at his lips before it turns into a smirk. “Someone’s gotta be prepared with your habit of being kidnapped.” Maybe it gives him hope, too.

“Shut the fuck up.” You groan. “It’s been months.” You can't help the smile that crosses your lips.

“You’re due.” Jason quips back.

You let out a laugh, sending a chill down Jason's spine. “I am good on that thanks.”

Jason tilts his back, feeling the same as you. This whole thing is fucking stupid. He needs to swallow his pride and he just doesn’t want you to leave. Despite his habit of spiraling into self-deprecating thoughts, he knows there has to be something left between you. Since the very first day, there has been something there. So, maybe you try this friend thing again. Maybe it'll work out.

“This is fucking stupid, right?” Jason laughs. “Not talking and shit.” He clarifies.

“Yeah.” You nod with a laugh. “Molly and Gar and Tim and Dick have been telling me that.”

“Molly, Gar, and Dick.” Jason groans. “Fuck, even Bruce.”

You let out a laugh. “Okay, you know it’s bad when Bruce is over here giving you advice on this shit.”

“Right?” Jason lets out a scoff. “We good?” Jason asks with hopeful eyes.

“Always were, Jay.” You smile softly at him and in that moment, you make a silent promise to yourself that you don’t care about your heart but you will guard his with every knife you have. “Friends who actually talk and act like it this time?” You question.

“Yeah, need someone to nag me.” Jason sticks his hand out.

“Oh, well, if you insist. Clean this fucking place, it’s a mess!” You take his hand in yours, shaking it softly.

“Since we’re friends, you could help.” Jason quips back, looking at the hallway that resembles the aftermath of a tornado.

You take your hand back. “You could go fuck yourself.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jason grins back at you with furrowed brows.

Your brows raise with a splitting smile. “Ask your hand.”

Jason let out a chortle. “Fair.”

“Okay, seriously, I gotta get back. Molly will have too many questions if I stay any longer.” You nod your head, already mentally preparing for the amount of questions Molly will have and knowing none of them will actually pertain to Tim. “I’ll be back tomorrow, you gonna come?”

“Nah.” Jason shakes his head, figuring he'll let the two of you catch up by you showing him the ropes alone for a bit. “You guys go. Dick call you?”

“Mhm, you?” You pretend like you don’t know, mostly to keep the peace between the batboys.

“Yep.” Jason nods his head. “Setup?”

“Absolutely.” You laugh. "Dude still hasn't told Kory but he's setting us up."

"We have to repay the favor then, I guess." Jason offers you a wild and menacing grin.

"Oh, definitely." You nod quickly.

Jason shakes his head with a laugh. "Just gotta get Tim into shape first."

“We’ll get him ready in no time.” You beam back at him with the scrunch of your nose.

“We’ll start training when you guys get back tomorrow but follow my lead.” Jason offers, already ten steps ahead with a plan.

“Because Tim can’t know.” You finish.

“I got an idea.” Jason nods.

“You always have a plan.”

“Always.” The word babe almost slips from his lips.

“Okay, Jay.” Your cheeks burn, sensing it, too. “I will see you tomorrow.” You nod once before you turn on your heels and exit the building.

Jason watches you and his thinks he’s breathless. There’s something reminiscent of the first day he met you. Not entirely knowing much about you. He knows about you today but there’s a gap of time he’s missing. There are two actually because he doesn't know all of the details in the time he died. There are voids he’s missing and what’s changed about you because of them? It almost feels like that first day because his bones are vibrating with excitement and he can’t wait to see you again. It feels like it did then and he would love to keep chasing that feeling.

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@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //

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#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #penance

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thebunnednun · 5 months

Text

New profile pic!! Oh and updates 4/14/2024 (Master list too)

Finally, something that looks like me!

Oh, btw the names Angellica or Angie for short. I don't mind being called BUNNEDNUN either babes.

WE ASLO HAVE A COMMUNITY LINK NOW!!:

Now let's get down to business,

An updated schedule will be as follows:

Mundane Monday: The beginning of the week is always dreadful so let's make it fun with some crack fics. Memes, Memes, MEMES galore!

Tearful Tuesdays: Angst posts will be the main thing on here. I'm thinking of some hurt and comfort fics. I'm already working on a Buggy fic for this. I'm not opposed to happy endings but in general, think of an onion cutting itself for these. They don't all have to be romantic and I'm creating something for Trafalgar Law here.

Wonderful Wednesdays: I will update two of the current fan series on this day maybe three if I have the time. So far the list includes:

*Enchanted meeting (Buggy The Clown x Straw-hat reader)

*Shadows of the Blade (Dracule Mihawk x Assassin reader)

*Capturing hearts (Iñaki Godoy x Photographer reader)

*Please Don't Hate Me! (Juan Ruiz x Imperfect reader

*Whispers of the heart (Dracule Mihawk x Maid (Pirate Queen) reader)

*Love Sick (Buggy the Clown x Straw-hat reader)

*Bound by Justice (Sabo x Marine! Reader)

*Carnival Confessions (Portgas D. Ace x Straw-Hat! Reader)

*If you only knew how much I love you (Sabo x Straw-hat! Reader x Ace)

*Make you mine!~ (Trafalgar D. Law x Cheeky~ Crewmate! Reader)

*Throw Me Overboard! (Buggy the Clown x Fm! Reader)

*Gone Fishing! (Sabo x Sea creature Straw-Hat! Reader)

*Good neighbors (Farmer! Bakugou Katsuki x Gardener! Reader)

*Dancing Under the Stars (Red-Haired Shanks X Bar/ DanceClub Owner! Reader)

*In the Arms of a Stranger (Charlotte Katakuri x Bride! Reader)

*Unexpected Dinner Guests! (Koby x Straw-Hat! Reader)

*Tempted to touch! One piece Men x Fm! Reader (Multi fic)

*Shadows in the Night! (Trafalgar D. Water Law x Ethereal spirit! Reader)

*Sweet dreams!~ (Trafalgar D. Law x Hot Doctor Wife! Reader (Modern Au))

*Golden afternoon (Monkey D. Luffy x Crew mate! Reader) *LOYALTY (Katsuki Bakugou x Sugar Baby! Reader)

*You're my Coffee (Shouta Aizawa x Pro Hero/Teacher! Reader)

Sanji, Usopp, Nami, Ace, Law, Robin, Boa, Chopper, and Zoro will be loading soon. I have many, many, MANY, ideas but no time right now.

Thoughtful Thursdays: Just some random conversations and ideas thrown out there. I'll try to host polls so you guys can vote on what you want next. Basically a rest day for me though because there's just no way I could write everything in one shot. (/@ ~@)/~* I've tried and it ends with me updating around 3AM or sum.

Follower Fridays: Requests from followers are posted. If you have a story request or anything you want to ask go ahead and do so on this day. Just make sure you send them in early so I can get to it in time. If you send something the day of I might be able to make it happen.

Sexy Saturdays: Send me your best Saturday night requests: ie dancing, funny adventures, or crazy antis with the one-piece crew or another fandom. I'm very familiar with Naruto and MHA (and any other anime honestly I doubt there's anything you could request that I don't know.)

It's all about having fun and having those Saturday night vibes babe!~

Sweet Sundays: Romantic One-shot posts! Any character of age and as long as it's not a child. I would be open to doing a reader insert where they are a parent or parental figure though. I find them to be very endearing.

As always your requests are welcomed and comments are very much appreciated. Sorry again for being gone for so long. I want to pick up my serious especially and make the chapters juicy again.

I also have a spring tee shop for merch related to all the stories!!

Every little bit helps me to pay for my tuition! <33

Thank you guys again for your patience and understanding.<<333

Don't forget to check out my a03 account of the same name!!

My new goals are to keep up with the schedule and get 50 followers by the end of the month! I wanna keep growing our family. :3

Most of all, remember that you are safe here and loved.

Until next time my loves!~

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craziechwiv · 4 months

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The Paladin and their Succubus frenemy - 2.5

As Jaune finally got Ruby off his face, he looked at the situation he was in with dread.

Not only, did he have an uninvited guest who couldn't explain to anyone who she was, not only was said uninvited guest a demon which was, the main enemy of the Cathedral, and not only was said demon possessive of HIM; to be honest, he couldn't even think on what could possibly make his situation worst.

So, might as well make the most of it and try to not get himself labeled as a traitor for harboring a enemy. Jaune saw the short succubus look at him, hungrily as she licked her lips or did some erotic hand motions. He couldn't help but try to lie to himself that these weren't working for him at all, even though it was futile to believe such an impossible fib.

So, he thought; "What would be the most plausible explanation for him having some random woman follow him around?" That's when it hit him, an idea so crazy, so idiotic, so impossible to fool someone with more than half a brain, that it could work if he could just get her to play along.

Jaune: Okay, I can't just get rid of you right now, or I'll get us both in trouble. And I can't just leave you here alone, as you might wander around and get yourself in trouble. So, here's a compromise.

Ruby raised an eyebrow and looked at the taller man with a piercing glare, as he felt her silver eyes dig into his words carefully.

Jaune: How about, and just hear me out. You join my team? Be undercover as whoever you want, and still be around...me?

Ruby: Hmm...

Jaune: The only rule is to not go overboard.

Ruby: Hmmm, deal~.

Jaune: ...That was too easy. You're planning something.

Ruby: Whatever do you mean?

Ruby gave Jaune a innocent smile before a pair of crimson wings sprung from her back, pushing Jaune closer to her as she wrapped her arounds around his neck, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

Succubus!Ruby: I am merely taking advantage of your generosity, by sharing my side of the deal right now than later~.

Jaune: I'm already regretting this...

Succubus!Ruby: And I'm loving this~!

Jaune shook himself away from her grip, or more likely she let go of him at the same time, he began brainstorming on what she could portray herself as.

Jaune: First off, we need to get you a weapon of some kind. You seem small you maybe try to grasp some dagger or a-

Before Jaune's eyes, Ruby summoned a crimson scythe that fitted her size perfectly. She began to twirl it around, narrowly missing him in the process before laying it on the ground and sliding on it as if it was a pole.

Succubus!Ruby: Does this do, my dear~?

Jaune: Have I mentioned how I hate how smug you are?

Succubus!Ruby: Your expression of me says it all, and I know you secretly love it.

Jaune: Let's just, get everything else in order.

Next Chapter >

#rwby #rwby au #rwby demons x heroes au #jaune arc #ruby rose #paladin jaune arc #succubus!ruby rose

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3-2-whump · 3 months

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HIT!

For those of you who celebrate it, happy Fourth. For conscientious objectors like me, happy free day! I can't believe I'm posting this chapter on (American) Independence Day, but honestly, there's nothing more American than random acts of gun violence.

NOTE: This is where shit gets real (more real, that is), and where the author may make some decisions that might not vibe with the readers. To those readers, all I will say is fanfiction is a thing, canon divergence is a thing, and I will honestly be more intrigued than mad if you end up scrapping this part and writing your own version! (Just lmk, like tag me or dm me so I can see?) But, um, yeah, onto the chapter!

TW/CW: guns, gunshot wounds, blood, emergency first aid, sort of medical whump, emotional angst

“Hell of a day, wasn’t it!” Thomas exclaimed as he pulled out of the gate.

Khaled only offered a noncommittal hum from the passenger seat.

“Least it’s over now,” the older man huffed. He picked up the speed as they entered one of the main roads, far away from the residential side of the city. He punched a few buttons on his dash, tossing the phone to his passenger. “Make sure my phone is connected.”

“It is,” Khaled answered. The sound of late nineties punk rock soon blared through the speakers and competed with the faint clicking sound of the blinker as they rolled to a stop at a red light.

“So, you ready to go to the gym tonight and do our usual routines before we settle in?”

“Sorry, but I kind of just want to go home tonight, Master,” Khaled murmured. He’d been in a bit of an emotional slump all day, and the last thing he wanted to do that evening was to end the day with a run on the treadmill.

“What, are you sick or something?” Khaled didn’t respond. Inexplicably, Thomas changed his tone. “Fine, I’ll drop you off at home, then I’ll go by myself,” he sighed.

The light eventually turned green. The car rushed forward and gained speed as it merged onto the highway. Khaled zoned out, leaning his head against the window as he watched the other cars zip by. A motorcycle weaved in and out of traffic lanes. He felt a pang of nostalgia in his heart, though he wasn’t sure why. A brief murmur from the driver’s seat about how they needed to stop for gas barely scratched the surface of his consciousness. He was still hung up on that motorcycle.

They pulled into a gas station just outside the downtown area. Khaled felt the car parking and heard the door opening as his master stepped out to fuel up the car. He’d been dissociating a lot more since The Incident, taking refuge in his own mind and hiding from the world. His master had been keeping his distance since then, too. In those few times where he didn’t visit a whorehouse since The Incident, he would take his time with Khaled and fuck him much slower and more carefully than what either of them were used to. Whether it be out of guilt or genuine penitence remained to be seen, but this time, he knew better than to ask. This was just the new normal, now.

The unmistakable sound of a shot ripped through his inner thoughts. A heavy thump onto the ground soon followed. Khaled’s head whipped around; his master was not outside the car. He unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the car door with a shaky hand as he let himself out. “Sir?” He slowly made his way around the car, heart pounding in his ears and dread coiling in his stomach as he looked down between the car and the gas pump.

Khaled would never forget that sight as long as he lived. There lay his master, face up on the ground, with a telltale bullet hole in his chest that steadily seeped blood around the entry wound. Khaled’s tall foreboding owner, the man who once seemed impossibly invincible, now lay wounded (dying?) in front of a gas station pump.

“K-Khaled?” a voice weakly called from below.

The young man stood frozen, staring down at the man below him.

“Get my phone…call the ambulance…” Thomas huffed through ragged breaths.

He thought he could hear other voices –a crowd forming. Though, honestly, he could barely hear anything above the pounding of his heart and the mess of thoughts and feelings within his head.

“Khaled!”

It’s finally happening, he thought with delight in his mind before immediately switching to guilt and horror that he was cheering over someone’s demise. He’s finally –but wait, if he dies, then …I’ll be free, he realized.

“Can you hear me, boy?”

A bystander rushed over, kneeling next to the mob boss to check on him, but he stubbornly waved them away, pushing himself up from where he fell, wincing as he left behind a puddle of blood on the ground.

I’ll be… free, Khaled realized. Freedom hadn’t felt this attainable for him since he was a child on his third or fourth escape attempt, with every running footfall charged with hope that maybe this time it would work.

Hope. He’d forgotten how good it felt. I’ll be free …

…but, then what?

“Get my phone –now!” Thomas slipped, losing balance on the arm he had propped himself up on to fall back into his pool of blood. He swatted away the helping hand of the stranger who had come to check on him.

He’s given me everything, Khaled remembered. The roof over my head, the clothes on my back, the food in my belly. And if he dies, would all of that just be…taken away…? The weight of that realization combined with the increasing attention they were getting from an ever-growing crowd to exert a pressure on Khaled like he’d never felt before.

“Khaled! For Christ’s sakes,” Thomas yelled, gasping in pain. “Phone! Now!”

His body moved before the rest of his thoughts could catch up, opening the car door and retrieving the boss’ cellphone. He gripped it with a shaking hand and a sweaty palm as he crouched down next to his master and handed him the phone. The man took it between bloodied fingers and punched in his passcode with great difficulty as he huffed in annoyance and pain. There was no need for him to be calling 911 on himself, because at least three other people in the crowd had their phones out and up to their ears, presumably doing the same thing.

Before Khaled could ask what to do next, the good Samaritan next to them said, “Sit him up, and check his back for an exit wound!” Thomas groaned as they hauled him up into a sitting position. “If it came out the other end, that’s good. If it didn’t then-” A hole about the size of a table grape gaped through the back of the expensive suit jacket, dripping with blood and raw flesh from within.

A wave of nausea hit Khaled as he propped his master up against the gas pump. “It-It’s out, ma’am,” he confirmed.

“Great, okay, yeah. Now, get his handkerchief out of his pocket, and use it to stem the bleeding,” the bystander instructed. “Don’t be afraid to stick it in there.”

The boss' face writhed in discomfort as Khaled dabbed around the bullet wound. Tortured groans escaped clenched teeth as Khaled packed the blood-wicking cloth into the wound, but the stranger patted his back and cradled his master’s head against her chest as she whispered reassurances into his ear. “Just like that, you’re doing great, kid!” The peal of sirens was coming closer, which meant help was on the way soon. Khaled meanwhile, sat back on his heels, nervously chewing his lip as he tried to make sense of why he was helping his abuser. When the EMTs finally loaded the man into the back of the ambulance to take them to the hospital, he was no closer to finding an answer.

Le Tag List: @kabie-whump @rainydaywhump @whumped-by-glitter @skittles-the-whumpee @generic-whumperz @bamber344 @there-will-always-be-blood @morning-star-whump @a-la-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

#whump writing #emotional angst #tw gun violence #tw blood #medical whump #if you squint

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spotsandsocks · 9 months

Text

🐺The Lost and The Found Update!!🐺 10k

Chapter 5 is done or start from Chapter 1

Cover art by @ronordmann

Eddie steps out of the cab, closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. The sun is warm on his skin, the sounds and smells wrap around him and say home, safe, love.

He only opens his eyes when a beloved and familiar voice calls his name then within moments he’s wrapped in arms that are soft warm and surprisingly strong for a woman her size.

“Mi amor you’ve grown so much!” His abuela sucks in a breath of air another familiar sound and he grins to himself, knowing what will come next. “You’ll be taller than me soon!”

He knows that too and has mixed feelings about it, before very long he will be taller than her which will be cool obviously but mark a certain change in their relationship he’s not really ready for in ways he can’t quite articulate.

As suddenly as he was embraced the person he loves best in all the world holds him out at arms length and studies him closely, brown eyes wrinkling at the corners.

“So handsome” she taps her cheeks and he bestows a kiss in the required spot. Noting that he really is almost as tall as her now.

“Come, it’s time for lunch and then you can meet the new guests, we have three right now.”

Something sad flashes across her face and she looks at him with a thoughtful expression and says, almost to herself , “Maybe having someone younger around will help.”

She doesn’t elaborate and Eddie doesn’t ask, just follows his beloved abuelita towards the ranch he spends his summer holidays at each year. It’s without doubt the best part of his year. And this year, now he’s thirteen he’ll be allowed to run on his own for the first time. Not that he doesn’t enjoy running with the pack but it’ll be fun to have a little more freedom.

Chapt 5 snippet under cut

A few weeks after the camping trip that left Buck upset and angry and constantly checking his phone things start to improve again. Buck hasn’t told him much more about his sister except she’s doing well wherever she is and then Chimney was back hand staying quiet too. Although, Eddie notices with some interest, he’s also spending quite a lot of time on his phone as well, smiling at the screen and taking more calls than he ever used to. Regardless of lingering secrets the tension that’s been in the air is dissipating.

However something is still going on. Bobby’s been out of town quite a lot, taking more leave and he’s been extremely vague about where he’s been going. Buck’s being a bit more distant too. He’s been making excuses about why he’ll be round later than usual after work or not be round at all on some days off, he’s hardly seen Chris at all which is unusual. Maybe this is Eddie’s fault, maybe cuddling on the couch had been a bad idea. Is this Buck pulling away, setting some boundaries for them because he doesn’t want what Eddie’s trying so hard not to want.

If it is he can live with boundaries (probably) but Eddie doesn't like to contemplate the idea that maybe Buck might have started dating someone. Surely he’d have mentioned it. The thought unsettles him. So he doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t think about Buck and someone else out at dinner, in a bar, laughing, fingers touching, kissing because if he does it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Considering how he’s refusing to contemplate it he spends a lot of time thinking about it. He wishes he knew if but dreads the moment he finds out that Buck is actually seeing someone. Even if he’s not right now it’s bound to happen at some point. After all he’s good looking, stunning really, kind, funny, smart and loyal. Who wouldn’t want Buck?

To distract himself from those kinds of thoughts and prepare himself Eddie decides that maybe he needs to build himself a life outside of the team, well outside of Buck specifically. Eddie doesn’t see dating in his own future so he might as well find something to fill the potential Buck shaped void in his world.

Maybe he should take up golf. The thought fails to excite him. Maybe tennis? He could take up wood work or… he could start running or hiking in the hills. LA’s not Texas but it’s ok and being out in nature again would be nice. Maybe that would help with the increasingly restless feelings he’s having. Running would be a good start at so he decides to ask Buck for some advice on the best running trails around.

It takes a day for him to remember to ask his friend for his favourite trails and Buck’s response is unexpectedly obstructive.

“Why?”

There’s a frown on Buck’s face and you might even think he was annoyed by the request. There’s an almost accusatory tone in his voice.

Having no idea what’s got Buck in a mood today Eddie ignores the tone but rolls his eyes anyway.

“Take a guess. Why do you think I want to know about running trails?”

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #911 abc #buddie wip #buddie fic #911 on fox #911 fic #911fic #911 firefam

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v3x-y0urs3lf · 6 months

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Blooming Panic if MC was the author.

Unfortunately I haven’t written fanfic in over 2 or 3 years so you’re all getting headcanons.. even then I’m high as shit and barely know what I’m talking about. Expect this to be halfassed.

Okay, this mainly follows Toaster’s storyline just.. without romance to be more accepting to everyone’s tastes.

I know canonically the servers been around for like 2/3 years and MC (who I’m just going to continue to call MC for the hell of it.) only has just joined.. but what if they were also BloomBot?

Like, assuming MC doesn’t ACTUALLY work in finance and assuming that they’re actually good enough at coding to make the server possible.. it’s not too bad of an idea.

Hear me out. BloomBot secretly being a person this entire time, watching their chat history, listening in on calls but being unable to actually say anything? Probably gets lonely.

.. So MC makes their own account and joins in, pretending to have no idea who any of them are.

Or another idea - BloomBot just belongs to them and is just your average bot, Mc joins because they themselves have lost all motivation for the series and doesn’t know what to do with it.

I also really like that idea.

Imagine just MC writing and rewriting the final chapter over and over again, or better yet, imagine MC NOT writing the final chapter. Just staring at a blank document with 0 ideas. Likely in tons of stress and no motivation to continue writing but knowing they have thousands of fans waiting for the next chapter.

MC joins a ton of fan servers to try and get some inspiration from ideas but only one really clicks with them - the super secret discord server that we all know of.

There’s moments of guilt within them when Jules or Nightowl are worried or upset with no sign of the final chapter but the chapter continues to be prolonged.

I promised there’d be no particular romance forced into this despite it being Toast’s route but here’s a slight snippet of what I think would happen depending on characters.

Toast.. isn’t much to say really. It’s similar to his natural route where he tries to find who’s behind this, maybe some deep coding down and he might get an email from BloomBots code (Can you tell I know nothing about coding? lol.) I’m not saying he’d know that MC is the author, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he started offhandedly mentioning that sometimes a long break from work is needed and VERY MUCH okay to do so when MC is in call with him.

Nightowl is stressed with both his own school problems and NOW he doesn’t have a way to escape the dread of exams and finals. In a way.. He can relate to that reason the anonymous update was explained with. It might just be me but the way the update described it, it’s pretty obvious the ‘author’ was under stress. He can relate to that stress and probably rants to the MC about it in a late night call.. Knowing someone can relate with you and that you aren’t alone does wonders to someone’s mental health, especially since Nightowl is still pushing through his stress and still moving forward.

Quest.. I completely forgot his character but I think he’s a bit too busy to think about the problem deeply. Sure, The last chapter probably won’t be uploaded but.. it’s not the end of the world? He has work and being the server mod.. the biggest problem he has is making sure everyone else is calm and okay. If MC ends up confessing that they themselves are pretty stressed for whatever reason then he totally gives some great advice, tells MC to take life slow and to take breaks if they need to.. which actually kind of helps knowing you can take your time and go at your own pace.

Xyx is actually bummed out about the whole thing. If blooming panic ends then.. does that mean the community ends? People like having a community to go to and ESPECIALLY when someone is so adrenaline hungry like Xyx then things can be.. hard during times like this when it’s suddenly ending. Xyx isn’t one to vent about it but if he sees MC down about it then he’ll definitely find a way to make them spill (as in vent.) One way or another he’ll convince MC to take a break and he tries to cheer them up.

I understand a lot of this was probably mischaracterised and I apologise for that. I do really want to hit it off as a writer but I’m honestly not really good? Lol. I really am trying, I promise. Thank you for your patience.

#blooming panic #blooming panic nakedtoaster #blooming panic nightowl #blooming panic quest #blooming panic xyx #blooming panic x reader

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 2 months

Text

☠️ Something Dread, Something Red: Chapter Thirty

Warnings: Angst.

To Note: “Red Haired” Shanks x FemReader

Word Count: ~2.7k

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You follow Shanks through the winding streets, your heart pounding in your chest. While he holds your hand tightly, your other is pressed against your throbbing abdomen which clearly doesn't appreciate your efforts to flee. The harbor looms ahead, the Red Force standing tall against the dark water. The ship's silhouette is a beacon of hope, a promise of safety and escape. Shanks pulls you closer as you both near the docks, his grip firm and reassuring.

The crew is already in motion, preparing for departure. Benn spots you first, your white nightgown a beacon in the night, his eyes widening with relief. “Captain!” he calls out, signaling the others.

Shanks leads you up the gangplank, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of pursuit. The familiar creak of the wooden deck beneath your feet brings a rush of comfort. You are home—no, the red force isn't your home, its just a place you temporarily live.

"Aria," Benn says, his voice thick with concern as he approaches. "You alright?"

You manage a weak smile, nodding despite the lingering pain. “I’ll be fine,” you reply, leaning heavily on Shanks for support.

“Get us ready to sail!” Shanks barks, his voice carrying over the deck. The crew are springing into action before he even finishes his sentence.

You catch sight of Yumi, safely bundled in a blanket and being comforted by Hongo. Relief washes over you at the sight of her unharmed. A huge sigh of relief escape your lips and you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

As the Red Force pulls away from the harbor, Shanks guides you to a quiet corner near the stern, where you can rest but in view of the pirates still high on the adrenalin of the night. He kneels beside you, his eyes filled with a mixture of worry and anger. “What did they do to you?” he asks softly, his fingers gently brushing your injured lip.

You sit on the deck, the cool night air brushing against your bruised skin. Shanks’ touch is gentle, his eyes searching yours for answers.

“Collins didn’t appreciate me comparing him to you,” you murmur, forcing a weak smile. “Guess he didn’t like being told he’s not even a quarter of the man you are? His reaction was quite violent.”

Shanks chuckles, a low, comforting sound. But his eyes betray his concern. He knows you're deflecting, avoiding the deeper pain and fear that gnaw at you.

Around you, the crew goes about their tasks, but their glances keep flicking your way. They notice how quiet you are, how you're hobbling around like an old woman instead of the spirited young lady they’ve come to know.

Shanks’ gaze zeroes in on your neck and ears. “Your necklace,” he says softly, a hint of anger in his voice. “And your earring.”

You touch the lone earring still hanging from your ear and shrug. “Collins…he took them.”

Shanks' jaw tightens. His hand drops from your face to rest on your shoulder instead. “You need to rest,” he says firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument. “Both of you.”

Yumi clings to Hongo’s leg, her eyes wide with exhaustion and lingering fear. You nod in agreement, knowing he's right even though every fiber of your being screams against showing weakness.

The crew watches as Shanks helps you to your feet, his arm steadying you as you limp towards the cabin. Each step sends jolts of pain through your body, but you bite back any sound that might escape your lips.

“Come on, Yumi,” Shanks says gently, extending a hand to the little girl. "Let's get Aria to bed."

She takes it immediately, her small fingers wrapping around his larger ones. As Shanks leads you both inside, Benn exchanges a look with the other pirates—a silent acknowledgment of the storm brewing beneath their captain's calm exterior.

You guide Yumi around the familiar cabin, her small hand clutching yours tightly. The lantern’s soft glow casts warm shadows across the room, giving it an almost cozy feel despite the tension hanging in the air. You kneel beside her, checking her wrist once more, ensuring the cast isn’t damaged.

“Does it still hurt?” you ask, your voice gentle.

Yumi shakes her head, her eyes wide and trusting. “No, Miss Aria. It’s better now.”

You smile, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. “Good girl,” you say softly. “Now let’s get you to bed.”

You help Yumi climb into the bed and pick at the quilt. The sheets are cool against your fingers as you tuck them around her, making sure she’s snug and comfortable. She looks up at you with those innocent eyes that have seen far too much in such a short time.

“Miss Aria,” she whispers, a hint of curiosity in her voice.

“Yes, Yumi?”

“Are you gonna tell Captain Shanks about the baby?”

The question hits you like a punch to the gut. Your hands freeze on the blanket, your breath catching in your throat. You didn’t realize how much she’d understood or overheard. Your mind races as you try to find the right words.

“I…” You swallow hard, fighting back tears. You take a deep breath, forcing a calm smile as you look at Yumi. “There’s no point in telling him, Yumi,” you say softly. “Neither of us knew about it in the first place, and now it’s gone.”

Yumi’s eyes fill with confusion and sadness, but she nods slowly. You can see she’s trying to understand, to make sense of the adult world that has so suddenly invaded her life.

“It’s really for the best,” you continue, smoothing her hair gently. “I don’t have a place in the world, or a home. Bringing a child into that wouldn’t have been fair.”

She reaches out and takes your hand, her tiny fingers squeezing yours. “But you have us,” she whispers.

Your heart aches at her words, and you blink back tears. “Yes,” you agree, your voice trembling slightly. “I have you all. And that means everything to me.”

You lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. She smiles sleepily and closes her eyes, her grip on your hand loosening as she drifts off to sleep.

You sit there for a moment longer, watching her breathe evenly, the rise and fall of her chest soothing your frayed nerves. The reality of what you’ve lost and what could have been weighs heavily on your shoulders, but you push it aside. There’s no room for regret or what-ifs in your current world. Not anymore.

Shanks stands outside the cabin door, his breath caught in his throat. He had come to check on you and little Yumi, to make sure you were settling in for the night. Instead, he overhears your hushed conversation with Yumi, each word a dagger to his heart.

He hears you speak of the baby—your baby—and the reality of what you've endured crashes over him like a tidal wave. The pain in your voice is palpable, and it tears at him in ways he didn’t know were possible. Especially when you say you have no place in the world, or a home. His chest tightens, and he has to fight to keep his emotions in check.

Quietly, he steps away from the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. He needs air, space to think, to process this revelation. The ship rocks gently beneath him as he makes his way to the main deck where some of his crew are gathered.

Benn is there, leaning against the railing with a cigarette between his fingers. When he sees Shanks approaching, concern flickers in his eyes.

"Captain," Benn says, straightening up. "What's going on?"

Shanks runs his hand through his red hair, struggling to find the words. “Aria... she was pregnant,” he begins, his voice unsteady.

The crew falls silent, all eyes turning to him. He can see their shock mirrored in their expressions.

“And... she miscarried,” Shanks continues, each word feeling like it’s being dragged out of him. “I don't know how, but I know it's because of Collins.”

Benn Beckman, always the pillar of strength, seems momentarily unmoored. His cigarette falls from his lips, and he stands there, fists clenching and unclenching as the reality of Shanks' words sink in. "We need to end this," he says, his voice a low growl.

Hongo, usually calm and collected, now has a hardened look upon his face as his jaw clenches. Now he knew why you were limping about.

Lucky Roux, normally the heart of the crew with his jovial nature, has a rare look of cold fury on his face. "That bastard has no idea what's coming for him," he mutters. "We'll make sure he regrets ever laying a hand on her."

Yasopp, who had been leaning against the mast, straightens up, his eyes narrowing. "I've got a bullet with his name on it," he says darkly. "He'll never see it coming."

Monster, the gentle giant, lets out a low, menacing growl. "He won't get away with this," he rumbles. "I'll rip his face off for her."

Bonk Punch, always ready for a fight, slams his fist into his palm, the sound echoing across the deck. "We'll crush him," he says simply, his eyes burning with intensity. "He'll pay for what he's done."

Limejuice, bleeding from the finger he’d cut when Shanks had dropped the news, doesn't even seem to notice the wound. "He won't escape," he says, his voice trembling with rage. "We'll hunt him down, and we'll make him suffer."

Gab, the usually quiet and composed member, shakes his head in disbelief. "How could he do something so cruel?" he murmurs, his voice filled with sorrow and anger.

Benn steps closer, his eyes narrowing with a mix of anger and concern. “What do we do now, Captain?”

Shanks takes a deep breath, the salty sea air filling his lungs. “We get Yumi back home,” he says firmly before struggling to say his next words. He knows none of them will want to hear it. He, doesn’t want to speak it!“And then we focus on getting Aria back on her feet. Dealing with Collins will have to wait.”

You lie in bed, the gentle rocking of the Red Force beneath you doing little to soothe the turmoil in your mind. The throb in your abdomen is a constant reminder of what you’ve lost, of what could have been. You stare at the ceiling, the events of the past few days replaying over and over in your mind.

Yumi’s soft breathing beside you is a small comfort. She’s safe, thanks to Shanks and his crew. But safety feels fragile, like it could be shattered at any moment by the Commodore’s relentless pursuit. Your hand rubs your tired eyes and you shift your head to look at the sun just beginning to peak over the horizon.

You hadn't slept a wink.

Yumi stirs beside you, her small form shifting under the blankets. You brush a gentle hand through her hair, murmuring a soft greeting as her eyes flutter open. “Good morning, Yumi.”

She yawns, stretching her tiny arms before blinking up at you. “Morning, Miss Aria.”

Before you can say anything more, there’s a knock at the door. You glance over, your heart skipping a beat when Hongo steps inside carrying a tray laden with breakfast. His eyes flicker to you and Yumi, assessing the situation with his usual calm demeanor.

“Morning,” Hongo says, setting the tray down on a small table by the window. “Brought some breakfast for you both. And I need to check on you, Aria.”

You force a smile, grateful for his concern but dreading the inevitable questions about your injuries. “Thank you, Hongo.”

Yumi sits up eagerly, eyeing the food with interest. You guide her to the table, helping her get settled before turning your attention back to Hongo.

He gestures for you to sit on the bed, his expression serious yet gentle. “Alright, let’s see how you’re doing.”

You take a seat, trying to steady your nerves. As he begins his examination, you take a deep breath and decide to address the elephant in the room—on your terms.

“A Marine nailed me in the stomach with a rifle,” you say quietly, meeting his gaze. “It was hard enough to cause me to faint.”

Hongo’s brow furrows with concern as he continues his work. “And what did their doctor say?”

“He said it caused some bleeding… but he took care of that and gave me the all clear as long as I rest,” you reply quickly, avoiding any mention of the miscarriage.

He nods slowly, though you can see he’s not entirely convinced. He knows what you hide, but doesn't press. He finishes his examination in silence before stepping back and giving you a reassuring smile.

“You seem alright for now,” he says softly. “But if anything feels off or if there’s any pain that gets worse, let me know immediately. I want you resting, your body needs time to heal.”

“I will,” you promise.

Yumi looks up from her meal with wide eyes as she listens to your conversation. You offer her a comforting smile before turning back to Hongo.

“Thank you,” you say again.

He gives a slight nod and turns towards the door. "Take it easy today," he advises before leaving you alone with Yumi once more.

You exhale deeply and turn back to the breakfast tray, trying to push aside the lingering pain and focus on what lies ahead—one step at a time.

You sit on the deck of the Red Force, the sea breeze ruffling your hair. The crew moves around you, focused on their tasks, but there's an unspoken understanding to leave you and Yumi be. No one pries into what happened. They don't ask about the bruises, or your split lip, or the haunted look in your eyes. Instead, they offer silent support in their own ways—Lucky Roux passes you a plate of food with a smile, Yasopp gives you a nod as he polishes his rifle, and Benn keeps a watchful eye on the horizon.

Yumi sits beside you, her small hand gripping yours tightly. The island comes into view, its lush greenery a stark contrast to the dark memories you're trying to leave behind. As the ship docks, Hana and the villagers gather at the port, their faces lighting up with joy when they see Yumi.

"Yumi!" Yumi's mother calls out, rushing forward with open arms.

Yumi releases your hand and runs to her mother, who scoops her up in a tight embrace. Tears of relief stream down Hana's face as she holds her daughter close. The villagers cheer and crowd around, their joy palpable.

You stand back, watching the reunion with a bittersweet smile. Shanks places a hand on your shoulder, offering silent support. The crew disembarks to help unload supplies and greet the villagers.

Yumi's mother approaches you, still holding Yumi in her arms. "Thank you," she says, her voice thick with emotion. "Thank you for bringing her back."

You nod, words failing you. The gratitude in her eyes says more than any words could.

Yumi wiggles out of her mother's arms and runs back to you, wrapping her small arms around your waist. "I'll miss you, Miss Aria," she whispers, looking up at you with wide eyes.

You kneel down to her level, brushing a tear from her cheek. "I'll miss you too, Yumi," you say softly. "Be good for your mama and Miss Hana."

She nods vigorously and hugs you tightly one last time before running back to her mother.

As you turn to head back to the ship, Shanks falls into step beside you. The villagers wave and call out their thanks as you walk away.

Back on board the Red Force, the crew resumes their preparations for departure. You stand at the railing with Shanks beside you as the ship begins to pull away from the island. The villagers grow smaller in the distance until they are just specks on the horizon.

You take a deep breath of salty sea air and let it fill your lungs. For now, it's enough to know that Yumi is safe and that you've done something good amid all the chaos and pain. Now you just had to figure out what you were going to do with yourself.

Date Published: 7/26/24

Last Edit: 7/29/24

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#shanks x reader #red haired shanks #shanks x you #one piece shanks #shanks #one piece #akagami no shanks #red hair shanks

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moanz111 · 1 year

Text

✩°⋆｡ system error ⋆｡°✩ - 3

chapter 3 ✧ lost in the lights - written

< previous ✧ m.list ✧ next >

synopsis ✧ you've always dreamt of having your fantasy-like love story. naturally, hearing the sweet melodic ring of your love alarm was what you wanted the most, right? until it actually happened. four times.

pairing ✧ uni student! choi san x fem! uni student! reader

wc ✧ 2.3 k

warnings ✧ party, mentions of getting drunk/alcohol/throwing up, slight angst, there might be mistakes (tell me if i've missed something ♡)

mood songs ✧

You feel awkward.

Sitting in the backseat of your car and listening to the late-night university radio show, you wait for your dear friend Jeongin to come out of the luxurious house in front of you. As you check your watch, you realise it’s been 48 minutes since you arrived, and you are already running out of patience.

Jeongin drunk called you in a panic while you were sleeping and you had no other choice except to pick him up from Changbin’s party. Of course, you were invited by its host a few days ago - his parties were not ones to be missed, and mysteriously enough, he really wanted you to be there. However, you weren’t so sure you did. There was always a lot of alcohol and trouble involved, and you weren’t in the mood for drunken mistakes.

Also, you knew that Choi San was probably going to be there.

Maybe I should’ve gone.

The late-night spring breeze, softly caressing your face through the rolled-down windows fills your heart with melancholy and you let out a deep sigh. You open yet another jelly package - your 5th for the night. It makes you feel better, or at least you think so.

You see couples - all smiles and giggles, leave Changbin’s place, holding hands and ready to continue the night in someone’s dorm. You can’t help but feel a little jealous. There are also a few wasted students, barely able to walk, emerging from his front door and still singing whatever song was playing inside. And no sight of your friend.

A small voice in your head whispers to let loose for once and go inside, but you silence it. You just have to pick up Jeongin, drive him to his dorm, and go home to watch Spirited Away for the 20th time, crying in your bed for being so single.

Pathetic. Yes, that is a better adjective to describe your feelings.

“So don’t get discouraged, my friends. It’s perfectly fine to stay single during your university years,” you hear the radio host say with a laugh. Perfect timing. “One-night stands are always an option if you’re not ready to tie the knot!”

“Oh, come on,” with a groan, you reach out to the front of the car to turn the volume down. You don’t want to listen to a random guy indirectly making fun of your love life. The bitterness doesn’t leave you, though.

You’ve had your fair share of first dates but that was all it was - there was never a follow-up date or a shy goodbye kiss at your dorm’s door, promising more. So all you can do is dream and hope for your turn to experience love to come sooner or later.

Relationships are difficult. That’s what you know for sure, especially when you rely on a so-called love alarm. No one exactly knew where it came from or who made it, but everyone around you trusted its judgment. It seemed to be “attached” in a way to every person and watch their every move. Fate sure had its strange ways.

Walking on eggshells around every guy you met, you used to dread the day your alarm will go off. Everyone said it’s a sign you’ve found your soulmate, and you should be on cloud nine if you happened to hear it.

You heard it once.

And weren’t so happy about it.

You chase your thoughts away and take out your phone from the handbag next to you. Now isn’t the time to feel sorry for yourself.

Tonight couldn’t have gotten any better than this.

Reluctantly, you step out of your car and start walking towards the entrance of the house. You can’t possibly leave Jeongin here even though you prefer to stay in your car, eating your favourite gummy bears.

The first thing you notice once inside is the smoke. It makes you cough so you put your hand in front of your nose to shield yourself from it. You start making your way through the dancing students, crowding the rooms on the first floor, trying to find your friend, but in front of you is an endless ocean of unfamiliar faces. The deafening music makes you want to forget why you’re here and join the others, but all you do is hum to the beat as you walk around.

As you reach the kitchen area, you trip on an empty whiskey bottle and almost lose your balance before someone grabs your hands to keep you in place. Looking up, you see a tall guy gazing down at you. It’s too dark to see clearly, but you’re pretty sure that’s Yeonjun - Beomgyu and Kai’s roommate. The neon lights - purple, green, and blue, coming from small projectors placed around the room, slightly illuminate his features and you see the pleasant surprise in his blurry eyes.

Yeonjun’s dressed in a casual black t-shirt and stylish pants of the same colour - simple but effective. He has never needed much to stand out anyway. You feel your heartbeat accelerating, making your ears ring. You used to have the biggest hallway crush on him a couple of months ago before you actually spoke to him and realised you had close to absolutely no chance with him.

That was fine. You got over it pretty quickly. However, there was no place to deny Yeonjun was and still is way too attractive, even though his reputation could be problematic at times. At least that’s what the hushed voices in the girl’s dorms said.

“Easy there, Y/n,” he leans in to shout in your left ear as he eases his grip on your hands. His drunken grin makes you laugh. “Didn’t see you earlier.”

“I just came,” you explain, your eyes wandering behind Yeonjun. No sight of Jeongin. “Have you seen Felix?”

“Darling, I don’t even know if I’m dreaming or fully awake right now,” his right hand slides around your shoulders as he moves to stand beside you. You feel his hot breath tickle your neck before he places a soft kiss behind your ear. He has never been so close to you before, except for the occasional greeting hugs he gave you when you saw him at your friends’ dorm. “But I know I want to get out of here with you.”

What?

“You’re too drunk to have this conversation, Yeonjun,” you say and push him away a little. There’s no way you’re dealing with another highly intoxicated individual tonight even though a small part of you wants to. His eyes are filled with disappointment, and there’s a slight pout on his lips as you turn to properly look at him. “See you around.”

“Call me!” You hear his shout as you leave the room and go for the second floor. Here, it’s calmer, and the corridor is empty except for you and two guys sitting on the cold marble floor making out. Judging by the layout, there should be only bedrooms, so you excuse yourself as you jump over their legs, careful not to disrupt them.

After opening most doors and witnessing some quite traumatising things behind them, you finally find your friend in one of the bathrooms. The room is small - there’s just a sink and a toilet, so Jeongin is taking up most of the space, curled up on the tiles with his head on what looks like a folded hoodie with a few questionable dark spots on it. You almost take out your phone to snap a picture and laugh at it in the morning. Too much hanging out with Beomgyu.

His eyes are closed, and his breathing - heavy as you kneel next to him and shake his arm. “Jeongin, you have to get up.”

Your friend’s face twists in disgust, and his body suddenly tenses. “I’m going to throw up.”

“Hold it,” you say, backing away from him and getting up. You turn on the sink and splash him with cold water, to which he protests. “I’ll drive you home. Come on.”

“Man, I can’t. Lift me,” Jeongin’s whine makes your eyes roll, and just as you’re about to answer him, the door opens with a loud creak.

“Jeong, I found-,” the raspy male voice you hear behind you gives you goosebumps. Now that was unexpected.

Turning back, you can’t help but feel excited. You wonder what kind of look you’ll see on its owner’s face, and when you’re met with his icy dark eyes, piercing through yours, you smile to yourself. So the usual.

At this point, there are no surprises between you two. Whenever and wherever you saw him - it was the same. At first, you were offended by his cold and distant attitude, his sharp look, and his pursed lips, but now they don’t bother you as much. Or at least you thought so.

Choi San hadn’t always been like that when it came to you, though. When you first met him six months ago at the freshman welcoming party, you found yourself smiling way too widely after your conversation with him. Honestly, your memories from that night were a blur, but you did remember some things.

Maybe you took a few shots together.

Maybe you danced a little too provocatively with him.

And maybe you even almost kissed him.

However, all that was shattered into million pieces after he just…changed. After the party you started hanging out together - your newly found friends were his too, so it wasn’t a rare occurrence for you to go on a spontaneous trip out of campus for the weekend or have an unproductive study session together. Things like that, though, don’t last long.

Suddenly, his boyish smile and charming dimples were never for you.

Neither were his jokes and compliments meant for you to hear.

You weren’t sure what about you made him switch up so drastically in the following months and neither did any of your friends know. He didn’t seem to care to explain too.

Sometimes you miss his other side - the one he shows everyone else (and the one you used to know so well), and secretly you want to see it again, but you aren’t delusional. There is not a single universe where this is possible. You don’t believe in this anymore. Still, a small part of you wonders why.

Even though your heart still sometimes flutters at the sight of him, you find it easier to give him the same attitude back instead of asking questions. Your relationship is confusing enough as it is. No need to complicate things further. You can live with the “I hate your guts” dynamic.

So now, knowing it pisses him off, you flash him an ironic smile, “Hello to you too.”

“What are you doing here?” San’s voice echoes in the space between you as he closes the door. The slight blush on his cheeks from the alcohol, the black t-shirt, tight around his toned body and his disheveled hair make you stare more than the appropriate amount. Mentally scolding yourself, you notice the water bottle in his right hand and point at it.

“You might want to spill it on his face. He’s not getting up,” you joke and step aside so that San can squat beside Jeongin. The woody smell of his perfume fills your senses as he passes you, making you dizzy.

“Yeah, he’s wasted. I’ll take him home,” San says in a matter-of-fact tone and pats your friend on the cheeks. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” anger is building up in your whole being, making your blood boil a little from his demanding voice. “And I am taking him home. You’ve drunk.”

“That’s why I’ll call an uber and-”

“Can you shut up? I’m really going to throw up,” Jeongin interrupts you two as he tries to lift his head before San can say anything else. His teary red eyes meet yours before he looks around, confused, “Where’s Felix?”

“He wasn’t here when I came in,” both you and San say simultaneously, frowning at each other. You pull your phone from your back pocket to try texting Felix, but as usual, luck is on your side - your battery is dead.

“Whatever, just get me out of here before I completely lose my mind,” groans Jeongin, and you quickly help him stand up - his arms around yours and San’s shoulders. As much as you are annoyed with San’s presence, you’re grateful Jeongin had someone to look out for him while you weren’t there.

On your way out, you see some of San’s other friends wave at him from the now quieter living room downstairs. You only recognise Wooyoung, laying next to two other guys with his eyes closed on the fluffy white carpet amongst empty bottles, and Seonghwa, smiling warmly at you from the couch. “Are you guys leaving?”

“I’m helping her with Jeong,” shouts San, sounding irritated —a win for you. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Seonghwa nods and turns to look at you, “Have a safe trip to the dorms, Y/n. See you tomorrow.”

Avoiding his eyes, you feel a little flustered by his words and his deep voice but manage to find the strength to wish him a good night. While you’re walking to your car, San lets out a low laugh, and you give him a warning look.

“You’re as red as a tomato, Y/n,” he says, amused. “You should’ve heard yourself.”

“For someone so skilled at ignoring me, you surely pay a lot of attention,” you tease him as you unlock your car and open the back door. You only hear San huff in response after he lays Jeongin down on the seat and then turns to face you. What you see in his eyes this time is unreadable, and you aren’t so certain what to make out of it. Was it hurt? Jealousy? You shake your head - no point in trying to figure him out.

“Be careful, Y/n.”

These are his only words before San hands you the water bottle he was carrying and turns around, leaving you alone and baffled. You sigh as you look up at the night sky.

For some reason, tonight the stars are shining brighter than before.

note ✧ it's my first time making a written chapter and i hope you enjoyed it! writing it wasn't easy haha feedback is greatly appreciated and it really makes my day so please lmk what you think of the story so far! ♡

#✩°⋆｡ system error smau #ateez smau #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fake texts #ateez fanfic #choi san smau #san x reader #ateez social media au #ateez fic #ateez x you #san x you #kpop smau #Spotify

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starsreminisce · 9 months

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So, there are plenty of opinions and compelling arguments about whose book is next. I've reached a point where I just want to express some thoughts. I haven't made a decision because my feelings shift every time I consider it.

Personally, just knowing a new book is on the way excites me. I'm sure that even when CC3 comes out, I'll be hunting for crumbs like a broke cokehead – which brings me to my next point.

Maasverse spoilers under the cut.

The next book will be responsible for bridging ACOTAR to CC for readers who follow ACOTAR exclusively. We still have ACOTAR readers wondering if Elriel(!!!!!) will be tasked to find the 4th dread trove, despite it being revealed in CC. The ACOTAR subreddit gets asked every day about what series/book to read after ACOTAR.

There is a crucial element that SJM needed to establish in HoFaS, something that couldn't be addressed in ACOTAR. This is particularly significant, especially when she wrote two CC books consecutively. The context within Prythian needed to be set up in HoFaS before it could seamlessly progress into ACOTAR.

Prison Island/Dusk Court? Illyrian descendants? Avellan fae? All Trove items accounted for? Truth-Teller? Koschei's origins?

Gwynriel makes sense to me because they have the most tie-in to CC. This would help in segueing from Nesta in ACOSF to Truth-Teller's importance in HoFAS, continuing the story with Azriel and Gwyn. It's worth noting that Gwyn felt Aidas in ACOSF, and she is now closer to Nesta than Elain is. Additionally, her role as Merrill's researcher and her interest in the 26 worlds, coupled with her heritage from both grandparents, likely plays a part here. Notably, CC has shown an underwater civilization, which adds to the anticipation of Gwyn's storyline.

Elucien makes sense to me because who best to catch a reader up who does not know about CC than two characters who aren't directly involved with it at all.

Elain was not present when Bryce arrived. She sure as hell is not going to walk in after Rhys introduced himself. I would think that for a moment as huge as a visitor from another world would assemble all members of the IC. We have Mor’s reasoning why she might not be there. We don’t have Elain’s, especially after "doing whatever it takes for this court."

This does help set up for a tandem read where Elain and Lucien move similarly to how Chaol marks what Aelin is doing in ToD or, at best, making it similar to how the context would change if someone were to read HoSaB then ACOSF.

I also have personal reasons why I want one over the other. Elucien because I'm starving for it, but Gwynriel because the fandom has been so out of pocket about Azriel's love life, with Bryciels still being pushed despite SJM's clear reaction to the question. Do I want to suffer through another 18-24 months of half-baked fanfic-based theories that Elucien's book is like Feylin in ACOTAR? Fuck that shit.

There are still many factors to consider because we don't know how involved Bryce would be in Velaris, who all is going to be involved, how involved Azriel is going to be (is the reason we had his POV in ACOSF is because his POV will be featured in HoFaS, like the bonus chapter?), how is Truth-Teller connected to all of this, and most importantly, how CC3 will end now that we know their worlds are connected.

Even then, I still don't know if that would be enough to draw a good conclusion and we might not have long anyway before the next book is announced.

#elucien #gwynriel #acotar5 #crescent city 3

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itsagirlwithglasses · 1 year

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A Shadow’s Fale — Chapter Four

Azriel x Pirate Female!Reader

CHAPTER FOUR

Word Count: +3,700

a/n: I'm sorry for posting so late, I had a few rough weeks! Hopefully I'll be posting more regularly soon! I hope you enjoy this!

Warnings: Mention of scars, drinking

You had been called for a meeting at the River House the next morning. You were pretty sure it had to do with what Azriel had found out about you.

Azriel. The most confusing male you’ve ever encountered.

He was hot and cold. Fire and ice. His constant mood changes giving you whiplash.

You had not seen him after your encounter the night before. Nor Elain. You had no idea what he meant and you were even more confused about what kind of relationship those two even had. No one seem to take notice or even talk about it.

Rhysand had flown you back to the House of Wind and then requested this meeting you were about to have. He didn’t say anything else about it and you were anxious enough already as it is.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asked still holding you as you flew together.

“Hmmm?” You answered distracted. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.” He laughed.

“You’re a terrible liar.” You narrowed your eyes.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“If I have the answer,” He smiled.

“Are… Azriel and Elain mates?”

Cassian gaze seemed to unfocus a little and his lips tightened in a line. The usual smirk gone as he became suddenly serious.

“No.” He took a look at you as you nodded, then you were reaching the grass in front of a big mansion by the river and Cassian was putting you back on your feet.

“Wow,” you looked around in awe, “This is beautiful… and huge.”

“Y/N…” You looked at him once more, “Don’t mention it.” You blinked in understanding.

“I won’t.” He gave you an apologetic smile and made you to follow him inside the house.

You felt the wards as you walked through the door and you looked at the paintings on the walls, admiring. You knew that the High Lady was into painting but you had no idea she would be this good.

“Are they all hers?”

“Yes,” Cassian said simply, the smile, almost prideful, again on his lips. He guided you to a corridor that led to a set of double doors at the end.

As he opened them he let you in and you inhaled deeply to see the people waiting inside already.

Rhysand, Feyre, Mor, the female with the piercing grey gaze and… Azriel.

“Welcome to our home, Y/N.” Rhysand’s voice boomed in the silence that was heavy in the air. “I believe you haven’t been formally introduced to my second, Amren.” He pointed to the female and you swallowed hard in recognition.

“Amren, as in the horror bed time stories?” You spoke almost in a whisper and you saw the little grin she gave you.

“I guess we’re both the same if we follow that logic girl.” She spoke, her voice a soft purr. “Except we are from two different sides of the spectrum. A pirate you say?” That made you chuckle.

“I guess it depends, if the children really like Peter Pan they might resent me a little as well.” This made a few chuckles from the people around you and Amren simply sent her head back in laughter.

“I like you, girl.” You gave her a grin as she saluted you with her glass on wine. It was definitely too early for wine but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Now that introductions are done, we have serious business to talk about.” You nodded, “Y/N, you claim to have in your possession dread troves that were lost at sea,” You nodded again, “I allowed you and your crew to stay, shop and eat in my city, just like you asked, now I want to see them.”

You looked around the room taking a deep breath.

“I asked for an alliance.” You crossed your arms over you chest.

“I’ll make you a bargain then,” He said darkly, his hands resting on the table in front of him. “You give me the troves, I let you and your crew go.” You snorted a laugh shaking your head in disbelief..

“No,” You replied and he narrowed his gaze as you mimicked him. “I’m going to fight in this war Rhysand, now you must decide if it’s with you or against you.”

Silence fell once more in the room.

“You sure have balls girl.” Amren said from your left but you kept the High Lord’s gaze.

“Are those your terms then?” Rhysand asked and you nodded. “I’ll send word for you when I make my decision then.”

“You can’t possible be considering this.” Azriel’s voice came from you right.

“Can I go now?” You asked ignoring the spymaster’s words as it somewhat hurt you.

Rhysand waved his hand in dismissal. “Feyre, darling?” You watched as they clearly communicated something in their minds and then she walked over to you smiling.

“Will you join me for a walk before you go?” You simply nodded leaving the room with the High Lady in tow.

Rhysand might’ve told her to change your mind about this, but your mind had been made up ever since your father’s death. Hybern was your destiny to destroy. And no High Lord or Lady would take that from you.

—

You walked alongside Feyre through the gardens of the house and stopped in a gazebo by the river. She sat on one of the benches and you followed suit.

“I never knew happiness before I came to this place.” She said on a sigh and you looked at her intently. “I think if it wasn’t for him, I would be in a very bad shape by now.”

“You mean Rhysand.”

“Yes,” She was now looking at you, “Rhys is… a very good male, he doesn’t want you involved in this war with Hybern.”

“Rhys,” You spat, “Doesn’t know me, or how much I need this, to fight them, to make them pay for what they’ve done to me, to my crew, to my…” You cut yourself off shaking your head. “I will not back off on this.”

“I understand,” She said reaching out for you hand and giving it a squeeze. “I lost my father to Hybern too,” She smiled sadly, “During that first war, when we had to face them and we had lost all hope, my father showed up, sailing, bringing an army with him, he saved us somehow in the end… And yet, he was killed before we could even say thank you… or goodbye.” A stray tear fell on her cheek and you nodded in understanding. “I spent so much time hating him for not showing up… For not fighting and in the end he did… I know your father wasn’t the best of men… I’ve heard the stories but I also know you miss him… Even if only the good parts of him.”

She knew exactly how you felt, clearly better than anyone else. You had bonded in a way you hadn’t expected. When she reached out to you cheek you didn’t even realize you had starting crying.

“Hybern took way too much from us both, and I will talk to Rhys, we will fight this war, together.” She said pulling you into a hug and you welcomed it fiercely.

A friend. In the midst of darkness you had made a friend.

—

“If she wants to fight, then let her fight. She clearly knows the risks.” Mor said and taking a sip of her tea.

“They are not trained, and let me not even start on, they are humans.” Rhysand said exasperated, “I’m not going to be responsible for their deaths.”

Azriel was staring at the tiled floor, lost in thought when Amren said. “What is it shadow boy? The people in the city can hear your brooding from miles away.”

“Nothing.” He replied fast and Rhysand gave him a look.

“What do you know?”

“It’s not certain yet, give me a couple days.”

“What is it?” The High Lord insisted and Azriel adjusted himself on his feet.

“I think they have some sort of magic… But I’m not sure how.”

“Magic?” Azriel nodded.

“From what I saw, elemental.” Rhysand’s gaze turned dark, the inner circle members held their breaths waiting for orders on this new revelation about their guest.

“Find whatever you can about it.” He took a deep breath thinking about his wife alone with the pirate. “Don’t tell anyone else about it, this stays between us.”

“Feyre?” Mor questioned.

“Not yet. If Y/N learns we know, she might turn on us. For now we play by her rules.”

“Until when?”

“Until the troves are ours.”

—

Azriel left the meeting room going outside. He found her as easily as taking a breath. She had this beauty about her that made him flustered. That would make him think such ungodly thoughts he so deeply wished he could act on.

But the rational part of him was screaming trouble. A human with magic? Why would she hide it from everyone if it was just regular fae magic? There’s history of half-fae, when humans and faes mated. Was that it? Was she embarrassed of her lineage to hide such a big part of it?

Azriel wasn’t sure mentioning it to Rhysand had been a wise choice. He saw it as some sort of betrayal, and that’s why Azriel had been fighting himself over it. Was she a danger or a powerful weapon?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Feyre approached him taking him out of his thoughts and he gave her a little smile and a tilt of the head. “What do you think about her?” She nodded towards Y/N who was still sitting in the gazebo looking at the Sidra.

“She’s trouble.”

“I think she’s misunderstood.” Azriel cocked his head at his High Lady and she gave him a small smile. “Ever since she arrived everybody just assumed things about her… Yet, no one took the time to hear her out.”

“You think we should ally ourselves to them, then?”

“I think they… she deserves a chance.” Feyre gave him a knowing look, “We all were given one.” She patted him in the arm and disappeared inside.

Azriel took a deep breath looking at the female in the distance. She had her eyes closed and the sun was shining in her skin. She adjusted her hat in her head as she took a breath and then opened her eyes. Her gaze met his and her smile fell. Something inside him sank at that. Please don’t stop smiling. He wanted to tell her.

Realizing this he took a step back before disappearing into the shadows.

He felt himself falling, not in the literal sense, but in the sense that would bring you to our knees and tear you to shreds.

—

“We have a bookclub, me, Emerie and Gwyn, you should join us.” Nesta said encouragingly and you gave her a small smile.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You are not! Meet us at 10 in the library,” She said walking away into her rooms and you laughed shaking your head.

You reached your own and entered taking your jacket, boots and hat off. You felt him before even seeing him.

“Sure, you can come in.” You rolled your eyes as you turned locking eyes with the High Lord.

“I gave this house to Nesta and Cassian but it is still mine, so I think I’m entitled.”

“Sure,” You raised your eyebrows, “What do I own the pleasure of your visit Your Highness?”

“I accept your terms,” He said, hands in his pockets, you furrowed your brows.

“Just like that?”

“Feyre spoke to me, I understand you better than you think I do.” He let out a breath, “Do you wish to tell me more about it?”

You took a deep breath, Feyre had told him, or showed him, your conversation. So he knew your intentions, and you wondered if you were wrong about him altogether. If he was willing to accept your terms and let you fight alongside him, to finish Hybern, maybe you could trust him with the whole truth.

You thought of Azriel, why hadn’t he mention it to his High Lord about your magic? Surely they would’ve confront you by now. Maybe you should hold on to that kernel of truth a little while longer… Just to be sure.

“Feyre was very understanding… It felt… Nice, to have someone actually hearing me and not… Judging me, for wanting pay back.” You said carefully, he eyed you carefully. “My intentions are not malicious Rhysand, I only want my life back. I want to end them, I want to be free of this… Rage.” You shook your head not allowing your emotions to take over you. You felt your magic tingling beneath your skin and you took a few breaths controlling it. He looked you over curiously and you silently hoped he didn’t notice it.

“Okay…” He said after a minute of silence. “When shall we retrieve it then?”

“I’ll meet with my crew, we can do it in two days time.” He nodded in agreement and then disappeared.

You took a shuddering breath and fell sitting on your bed and you cried. You let the emotions of the past few days take over and flow freely.

—

You woke up abruptly from a dream about Hybern and your father. You sat up on your bed panting, a hand in your heart trying to calm yourself down. You had burnt the sheets around you and embers flew around you.

The darkness outside told you it was way past 10, you had missed the bookclub with the girls. You felt so exhausted and you couldn’t focus on that right now. You looked around the room and screamed when you spotted Azriel in the corner of your room. Quickly covering your mouth and getting up from the bed you walked quickly towards him.

“What are you doing here?” You scream whispered and he cocked a brow lookin you over.

“I need to speak to you,”

“It’s the middle of the night, can’t we talk in the morning like normal people?” You were flustered and a chill went through your back, the wind coming from the open window. You then realized that half your sleeping dress was gone and you quickly grabbed a robe to cover you better.

“It’s important,” He insisted ignoring your panicked covering.

“What could be so important that it can’t wait?”

“I want to know about your powers.” There it was. You swallowed and then let out a chuckle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know I know, and I know you know I know.” He purred coming closer to you.

“Then if you know why are you asking me about it?”

“Are you half-fae?”

“No,”

“How did you acquire magic?”

“Family…”

“You just told me you weren’t half-fae.”

“It’s… complicated”

“Try me”

“Fuck…” You shook you head, “It’s stolen… alright?”

“How?” You looked at him considering your options… Truth it is…

You took a seat in one of the leather chairs and it did the same across from you.

“A long time ago, my ancestors made a bargain with some high fae, they wanted immortality just like the fae. We had some elemental magic because of our side of witchcraft ancestors, however no immortality… The fae offered it to them but under conditions.” You took a breath licking your lips, “The conditions was that pirates had to stop stealing the sea and land treasures… However after the bargain was stroked, my ancestors broke it not long after… The high fae then cursed them, us, they took our access to our magic. My father found a plot hole when he allied himself with Hybern…” You got up and started pacing in front of him, “Pirates started stealing magic from the death… When fae die, their magic still remains in their bones… WIth a binding spell you can bind their bones to your skin and magic will transfer…” You took a shuddering breath removing the robe you had just put on.

You then proceeded to removed your night dress standing in front of him only in your panties. He didn’t say anything. He had gone very still taking in what you were showing him. There were four scars, two on each side of your ribs. Ugly and salient, like they hadn’t healed properly.

“He wanted his daughter to be his most powerful weapon… He didn’t want anyone to know until time was right…”

“Your father did this to you?” His voice was so low you barely heard the pain in his voice.

“They are the bones of four very powerful high fae who had elemental magic, air, fire, water and earth…” A tear escaped you and Azriel picked up your robe covering you up.

“He deserved his death.”

“I know.” Then Azriel hugged you and you sobbed in his arms as he held you tight.

—

You knew by walking into the living room of the town house that the news had spread. Rhysand had accepted an alliance. However you did not expect to find you whole crew perched in the couches and drink and hanging out with the rest of the inner circle. You have a little smile as Bonny hugged you tightly and whispered in your ear how excited she was about all of this.

“Your people sure know how to drink Y/N” Cassian chimed in making you laugh.

“Well, yes, of course, but the real question is, can you keep up?” You winked at him making some of them chuckle.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe,” you smiled and you heard Nesta mumbling ‘Mother helps us’

Soon enough Sebastian, Lobo and Ledo were face to face with Cassian and Mor.

“We need one more to be fair,” Mor said eyeing the people around the room, “Az, come on”

“Absolutely not,” He rolled his eyes and you looked at him amused.

“You need to learn how to have some fun… Az.” He glared at you.

“I don’t need to get drunk to have fun.”

“You don’t need to get drunk at all, you just need to join, after all you are going to loose either way.” He looked at you with the challenge in his gaze and he took a seat next to Mor.

“We don’t loose.” He simply said and then it started.

Pint after pint of ale they all chugged it down. Your eyes were wide taking in Morrigan chugging it down with an easy you knew to not be natural. She clearly loved her drink and the amusement crossing her face told you she also loved the challenge. You took a look at your team as they emptied mug after mug. The score was tight and when Bonny called it time, your crew had lost for 5 pints.

Cassian got up whooping in contentment picking up Nesta over his shoulder making her yelp and laugh. Morrigan was cleaning her lips with a victory smile and Azriel… He was smiling! Grinning more like it, but his mask was definitely slipping and his eyes… they were bright and set on you. You found yourself grinning back at him.

After the talk and you calming down the night before, he left without another word. His demeanor felt… Heavy, confused and angry. At you or your father, you weren’t sure. But you knew anytime now the High Lord would know… and maybe you should come forward first, but as you eyes found his across the room, directly behind the spymaster you decided against it.

Rhysand clapped him in the shoulder catching his attention and they exchanged a few whispered words. Azriel demeanor turned back into that familiar darkness and you looked away only to find Elain coming in your direction and settling down next to you.

“Hi,” she spoke softly and you smiled a little at her distracted by the interaction.

“Hi…”

“Feyre told me you will be going back to you ship tomorrow to retrieve some things… I still would love to come visit.” She asked politely taking you by surprise.

You were still embarrassed by what she had seen. Not that you and Azriel were actively tangled but you could definitely understand the heated discussion could’ve been easily mistaken by something else… And even if nothing happened between the two of you… You knew something was up between the two of them, and it just made things so much awkward…

“Uh… sure” you finally replied and she beamed.

“Ah! I’m so glad!” She put a hand on your arm making you look at the contact point and giving it a squeeze. “I think we will be great friends!” She said and left you alone, confused.

—

“Tell me everything,” Rhysand’s voice boomed darkness as he settled down on his study. Azriel kept his back straight, sobering up fast from all the alcohol he had ingested.

“I think we were wrong… About them.”

“How so?”

“Let me show you,” Rhysand only nodded easily entering the spymaster’s mind as he showed his the conversation between him and Y/N.

“You sure?” The High Lord questioned.

“I didn’t feel any deceit from her… And the scars,” He swallowed hard with disgust thinking back on them. On how they looked awful and distorted, painful. How they reminded him of his own torture. “You can’t fake those…”

Rhysand nodded lost deep in thought. “What do you think I should do then?”

“Let her fight.”

“I’ll decide after we retrieve the troves… Only then I’ll be sure.”

“Rhysand…”

“I think you should stay away from her…”

“What?”

“You are feeling too much for her Az,” Rhysand stood up walking towards his friend, “She will only break you heart.”

“I don’t… Have feelings for the pirate.”

“You forget my gifts Azriel,”

“She’s just a pretty face, I care for her as much as I care for the girls in the pleasure hall.” Azriel said coldly, pushing his true feelings away. Guarding himself, protecting his own heart. Not again.

A gasp. They both turned their heads to door only to hear running steps. Azriel jaw locked in rage as he took the calm look on Rhysand’s face.

“You knew.”

“It’s for the best Az…”

Azriel shook his head in disbelief and turned stomping away. Trying to find her. Trying to find Y/N and explain… But what could he say? Nothing would change the fact he couldn’t do this right now.

With a roar of rage he took the skies and flew, away.

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I'm sorryyyyyyyy!!! Oh my, oh my, please let me know your thoughts!!! Rhysand is playing the devil here a little bit... What is going to happen???

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