#like it hasn't always been good or easy. but no matter how bad stuff goes i can always look at how i was doing at 13
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iamfuckingsorry · 7 months ago
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what are you sorry for
I was very sorry for just about everything back when I made this blog in like 2013
#i've talked about this at some point but it took me like a full month to come up with my tumblr url#and then one afternoon i was sitting in french class and i wasn't having a very good day#and i was trying my best to look like i was normal and doing just fine (though i did probably cry a little bit lets be honest)#but the only thing going through my mind was.#“im so sorry for what a failure i am. so sorry for everyone who has to meet me and deal with me.”#“sorry for my parents who got such a shitty worthless kid. im so sorry so sorry so sorry for being alive”#just like on repeat. for the entire class. i was just sitting there blinking aggressively not being able to think of anything else#and i was like. yeah. that's the essence of who i am as a person. i am sorry. i am a sorry excuse for a human and i fuck everything up#it'll be a good tumblr url.#needless to say my entire adulthood's been a breeze compared to that shit lol. so there's good sides to it too i guess#like it hasn't always been good or easy. but no matter how bad stuff goes i can always look at how i was doing at 13#and go#“you're nearly 30 and you're still alive. you have a job that pays your rent. you don't cry yourself to sleep on most nights.”#“your 13-year-old self would be so fucking impressed. i'm pretty sure she'd think you were making shit up if you tried to tell her.”#“you're doing better than you could ever have hoped for my friend. keep it up.”#herr's personal tag#noelleaxolotl#ask
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sakshichandel32 · 4 months ago
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Staying Safe 
Vacation Rental Security Tips 
We've all been there, you arrive at your vacation rental after a long day of travel, ready to relax and unwind. But as you step through the door, a nagging thought creeps in, "Is  this place really safe?" 
As someone who's had their fair share of vacation rental experiences (both good and bad), I've learned a thing or two about ensuring a secure stay. So, let's chat about how to make your next getaway both fun and safe. 
1. Do Your Homework 
Before you even click that "Book Now" button, take a few minutes. Read reviews from past guests, paying special attention to any comments about safety or security. A quick  Google search of the neighborhood can also give you a feel of the area.
 Pro tip: Look for rentals with recent reviews. A place that hasn't been reviewed in months might be a red flag. 
2. Communication is Key 
Once you've booked, don't be shy about reaching out to your host. Ask about security measures like locks, alarms, or security cameras. A good host will be happy to ease your concerns. 
3. Trust Your Gut 
When you arrive, take a moment to scope out the place. Does anything feel off? Are the locks sturdy? Is there adequate lighting in the corridors? If something doesn't sit right with you, don't ignore that feeling. 
4. Be Smart with Your Stuff 
I know, you’re on vacation and want to relax. But a little caution goes a long way. Use the safe if there is one, or get creative with hiding valuables. And please, don't leave your laptop sitting on the dining table when you head to the beach!
 5. Know Your Surroundings 
Take a stroll around the neighborhood during the day. Locate the nearest police station, hospital, and pharmacy. It's like having a mental safety net - hopefully, you won't need it, but it's comforting to have. 
6. Stay Connected 
Make sure your phone is always charged and you have a way to contact your host or local emergency services. Consider downloading offline maps of the area in case you lose signal. 
7. Fire Safety Matters
This one's often overlooked, but it's crucial. Locate fire extinguishers and check that smoke detectors are working. Know your escape routes, it takes just a minute but could be a lifesaver. 
8. Lock Up, Even When You're Inside 
It's easy to get complacent, especially if you're staying somewhere that feels safe. But make locking doors and windows a habit, even when you're just stepping out for a quick coffee run. 
9. Don't Advertise Your Tourist Status 
Try to blend in a bit. Avoid walking around with a map or leaving your car packed with visible luggage. A little discretion can go a long way in not making yourself a target. 
10. Trust Your Host (to a Point) 
While most hosts are wonderful people, remember that you're still dealing with strangers. Be polite but cautious, and don't share more personal information than necessary. 
Remember, the goal isn't to be paranoid - it's to be prepared.  
11. Use Platform Safety Features 
Many vacation rental platforms, including TO LET GLOBE, offer built-in safety features.  For example, they might have verified listings, secure payment systems, or 24/7  customer support. Take advantage of these features for added peace of mind. With these tips in mind, you can focus on what really matters, making awesome memories on your vacation! 
So, fellow travellers, what are your go-to safety tips for vacation rentals? Drop a comment below and let's keep each other safe out there! 
Happy (and secure) travels! 
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nonbinarydeity · 2 years ago
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Your posts have been really helping me to stay sane and not overthink shit. Lol. Just to tell you my recent experience, I realized I wasn’t getting what I deserved. I felt like I was putting in my effort 100 percent into things like jobs and people while others were giving me just partial. I realized when you lock in your heart and soul and energy into something like law of assumption, magical stuff happens.
Just to give a example: I work at a call center sales job. For three years, it did decent. It pay the bills even in a Covid economy. But things changed. In the job, there’s a layered system that just kept breaking down and they only put in patch jobs to fix it. Soon enough, it broke and now we fending for ourselves. All of that, unrealistic expectations, and other things put my mental health at its worst. No wonder I wasn’t manifesting sales. I can’t be who i am not. I’m not a seller. Too damn introverted for that.
Once i put the motion in that I have a new job that pays higher and is more mentally healthy and is remote and all the good stuff I was looking for, holy shit. Things from the 4d are going into the 3d way faster than I thought. I have faith everything is working out and I’m already at my new job.
I found out too along with the fact I deserve better and making that assumption, old stories have been breaking. It brought new revelations and some new truths I wasn’t so happy about but I understood. I’m living the chapter in my life with the full assumption that I’m a wonderful person who deserves the best no matter what. I’m putting my heart and soul and energy into that mindset more from now on.
(On another note. Quinne, I’m sorry if I sent you any sad and triggering messages before. I was going through a hard time and my mental health took a hit. I went to my doctor for it and getting treated. I just felt like I needed comfort and I didn’t know what to do at the time. Thanks for not judging me.)
Hey, don't worry about it! I know how bad mental health can get, and ofc I'd never judge you for needing some reassurance. I'm sorry if I didn't answer any of them, sometimes I struggle too and I don't want anyone else to be triggered yk 😭💕
I'm really glad that you're moving forward in your journey and in life!!
These are the sorts of asks I live for tbh. As someone who has an understanding of how this works, but hasn't quite gotten to the point of it being easy (I'm working on that assumption rn 😭), knowing that things can change for the better is always so motivating!
I'm also really glad that you're doing better now, even if it's still a little shaky! Healing takes time, especially if you were in a really bad place before. Just take it easy and let yourself rest if needed, no shame in that 🪻💟
Also I just want to say, YES, you are a wonderful person who deserves the world 100% Never think any different, and that goes for EVERYBODY. Just being alive means you deserve the best ☺️💕
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shmowder · 5 months ago
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The return of crybaby reader fuck yeah we love to see it!! Good stuff - definitely preferable (imo) than when the person with dacryphilia is the one making you cry on purpose :( Evil :( And it's literally fine, who among us is seeing the light of heaven anyway 😇
I've been wondering about a few things lately so I hope you don't mind me asking! When you're writing for a character (and the request hasn't specified the P1 or P2 version of them), how do you decide how to characterize them? Especially with someone like Saburov, who you said earlier was quite different between the two games. Do you find yourself picking one or the other version, do you try to focus on what's in common between the two, do you pick what you want to from each version and blend them together, a secret fourth thing?? Do tell! I'm just curious ^^
Also, how do you decide whether something goes in "x reader works" or "x reader drabbles"? The length probably plays a role, but anything else?
Re: modding, tysm <3 To be fair, what I did is probably one of the easiest ways to mod the game......... but like I even struggled to find the game data folder in the beginning, so I'm happy!
Thank you sincerely for more P1 tips. You're the best. I just got so mad save scumming when I could have spent that time getting on with the story - but still, I really don't want to screw myself over by not having enough resources as time goes on, so I'll keep doing it as long as I have the patience. I've been trying to use your advice to fight, but I just don't have the timing right yet - now I know not to aim for the chest though!! Ahh I'm very happy you told me that about the yellow pills. Is there any place to buy lockpicks other than Bad Grief?
I hope you're having a good day :) It's nice to see so much activity here. I've got to run, so I might not see your reply for a while depending on when you answer.
🐿️ anon
I always default to P2 unless the requester specifies otherwise. Even with my own work, I use P2.
P1 was more about survival than about a narrative story, it was more of a... gamey game to say? The townfolks–even the children, are more jaded to the brutality and indifferent to other's struggles.
It was a truly unwelcoming town that's bursting at the seams from the constant tugging and power struggle. People rarely liked each other, let alone liked you.
It was hard to relate and sympathise to the characters because everyone built a fortress of steel around them, you simply couldn't crack past the shell no matter how much you tried, even if you risk your life for them, you will remain a stranger locked outside the gates.
People were more cruel, cold, and punished for their loving and naivety. That town cannibalised its weakest each night, women were beaten in the streets past a certain hour if they dared walk around at night, and you lose reputation if you try to interfer.
That's why I default to P2 where the story is more flushed out, so much that they added easy difficulties because they genuinely wanted you to listen to their tale, become a part of the show and relate to the town and its people. The townfolks weren't needlessly cruel, they were terrfied deep down and paranoid, yet love flourished in hidden corners and in the least places you'd expect.
P1 punished you for wanting to play it, P2 encourages you to try more albeit with tough love and taunting. Mark Immortell can afford to be cruel to you because the warmth of the town will mend any wounds he inflicts on you, while in P1, the tragedians and exectuers almost pitted you at times, advising you with mourning in their tones as if they can forsee your grim fate.
In P2, they truly wanted to save the town, they cared for their home. P1 Alexander is power-hungry and wants to prove a point by taking control over everything and show that he is capable. He wanted to save the town to prove that his convictions and ways are superior, to win an imaginary contest rather than actually save it for the people suffering inside or because it's his home.
Even the kids feel more like... kids. Silly, full of love and wonder. Doesn't a little girl give you milk and bread for free on day 1? She never asks you for anything in return but if you give her a piece of bread–not even a full loaf–she is over joyed and tells her friends "See! See! I told you he's good! I told you he'll return the kindness."
While in P2, he is almost the opposite, he doesn't stubbornly insist that Artemy is the killer based on little evidence. Instead, he actively helps you find your father's killer, time after time, and actually makes progress.
He asks for your opinion on the fate of those who could've prevented your father's murder but didn't. He genuinely worries about Clara and his wife rather than seeing them as a source of more power and control.
Especially your relationship with Murky and Sticky, oh my god it pained me to shut them out in P1 because you're never presented with a different choice. It is truly soul sucking to go back to the lair each day and not see Sticky there. Knowing things can be different, if only.
In the x reader genre, I'm not trying to fully incorporate the canon characterization. I only want to float close-by sun, never fly into it directly.
Because it's a hopeless endeavour, you'll lose your mind trying to imitate another's art and only end up feeling hollow and disappointed even if you succeed.
I take creative liberates, lots! I make them softer, lower their guard more, their love is easier to earn and keep. I flush the humane parts of them, the mundane struggles that the average person can relate to rather than the ingenious traits which make them an interesting unique character in a game.
Yulia's disability, Daniil's double-edged perfectionism, Rubin's paranoia, Artemy's suffocating devotion.
I build off of the P2 characteristics. I do borrow plot points from P1, however, I intertwine the canons together and cherry pick what serves a better narrative for the kind of tale I'm trying to tell here.
For example, I like that Peter has no bed in his room. He sleeps inside a ceramic bathtub instead that someone must've broken their back carrying up all these stairs to his room. So I'll incorporate it into the version of Peter I write in my stories.
But when it comes to personality, yeah, hard on P2. I don't even consider P1.
I don't like the phrase "done dirty" Neither should we belittle P1 characters writing. It wasn't a stepping stone, it was the foundation whole. They did the best they could with the limited times and funds they had, plus the conversation flow and dialogue choices felt better and more natural in P1.
P2 was terrified of giving you any dialogue choices that are longer than a sentence while each character freely monologued to you over and over. I like talking dammit! Let me talk!
And the story P1 was trying to tell is very different than the story P2 told. Same premise but different cores and essences. You don't judge art by its relativity to another piece that subjectively "did it better". That's horeshit.
You judge art by it succeeding in reaching what it was set out to achieve. What is the author or artist in general trying to do here? Not if it's to your personal tastes or not, why subject them to imaginary expectations and damn them for failing to reach the goals you secretly set for them by your own self?
I'm not talking about you, squirrel dw, it's just a general "You". A term of speech. You haven't done anything similar to that, if anything you've been very considerate and understanding when it comes to the things you don't like or enjoy in my writing. I really admire that about you.
P1 wasn't looking for a heartfelt story about the people of the town, but about you. Not Artemy, Not Daniil, hell not even Clara.
But You. The player. It's your story, your struggles. You're the hated person who keeps coming back by their own free will each day.
That's why it has so many 4th wall breaks! That's why it taunts you at every corner, why the mechanics are so easy to exploit but so time wasting and obnoxious. Because they were ment to test your patience! They were meant to be annoying on some meta level, a final "fuck you" to the player for abusing their player powers that the game itself EXPECTS you to abuse.
While P2 wasn't about you, really. It was about this beautiful town that has fallen under a grim tragedy. This rich folklore and stories of magic, love and survival. Of betrayl and guilt.
Everything you expected from your father killer, you find in P1. That game hands you Oyun as the unlikable ruthless antagonist he was always predetermined to be. He fights you on each level, he makes your life a living hell as the player not just as Artemy.
And being annoying to the reader, annoying to the player, is the biggest crime any character can ever commit.
That's why you don't hesitate. You spare him no sympathy.
While in P2, instead of the grand revel that happened in P1, you're met with the shell of a broken man. Tethering on the edge of life, withering away, begging you to grant him mercy and end his suffering, to atone for his sins.
He's already a corpse by the first conversation you ever had with him, not a single light in those eyes. You're robbed out of your revenge, you end up feeling sad for the man who stole your father from you.
Empathy.
Even if you do kill him, he doesn't put up a fight. One stab, he swiftly falls down. This hulking gaint minotaur.
Do you know how many times In P1 I had to-
I don't want to spoil the story, I want you to experience it for yourself.
But yeah. Mischaractersation is doomed to happen. The more I talk and write about them the more they'll twists and change, gradually over time. Might as well embrace it and make my own versions, be open about it rather than cling to the stolen puppets of two kids who grew bored of their sandcastle.
-
It's not the length that determines what goes into the "Works" or "Drabbles" category, it's the effort and polish I put it.
Sometimes, people will request a fic or HC, but I'll still give them a drabble based on their concept instead because it's all the energy I could afford for the day.
I know it's quality over quantity but god is it tiring and consuming. This is my hobby, not my work and not a skill I'm honing. This is my relaxation, my respite, my bit to the world before I venture into the abyss forever and get lost to obscurity and irrelevance in history.
I deserve the right to mediocrity. It's fun as fuck.
I get to decide in the end, I love my readers but I'm the one who is writing at the end of the day. I get to pick and choose which glowing ember of an idea I want to hammer and polish until it shines as bright as any star in the night sky, or simply cradle it and give it a loving smooch before sending it off to be posted immediately.
Sometimes, you want intricate full meal fics. Other times, you simply want snacks and candy.
It's the type of effort, too. Some things are hard for me because they're new and therefore scary, so I have to put in a lot of energy to achieve very little while still labelling it a drabble at the end.
Other times, things are hard whilst being familiar because I genuinely want a good story, I want something beautiful and above the bar. That's when it's labelled as a full work.
I also tag my full work while my drabbles remain untagged. it is the wild west in there. Like a kinder surprise, you'll never know what you get once you click on the mystery link!
-
Oh I didn't intend for the Alexander fetish drabble to be crybaby reader. I pictured it as more of a reader that deliberately taunts and teases him without him being aware.
But I wanted to be very subtle about it, I don't do subtlity much in my works. My meanings are as hidden as the sun in the sky. So this time around, I tried something new by implying you're actually the one in control... rather than blatantly stating it like I usually do.
Yk, that line about you holding "power" over him. Or your choice of clothing, pressing your thighs against him. Sitting on his desk! what kind of a person in strife would ever do that? Your thighs being so close to his hands too.
It's more of a reader that gets a kick out of watching his self control crumble, the inner turmoil he goes through everytime you fake cry and run into his arms.
But art, especially x reader works, are meant to be a mirror for the... reader. So you're free to interpret it however you want, death of the author and all.
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I get where you're coming from, that line about wanting to move on with the story but the savescuming is sucking the fun out. It will cause burnout if you're not careful, it's why I'm moving at a snail pace in the Bachelor route.
I just dread having to over-achieve again. I feel the need to perform better than my Haruspex run and somehow collect more than 24 shmowders this time around–or was it more? I don't want to check.
But deep down, I enjoy savescuming. I like zoning out and watching youtube or something while reloading. It's rotten work but it's worth it just for that high afterwards when I meet a shmowder girl and I can easily trade for one with my pockets stuffed with nuts.
Or cheeks? Yk bc you use a squirrel emoji. Man I am so funny fowjfijejfiwid.
I think you should do what you want, not what you must. Move on with the story and deal with the consequences later.
None of your bounds will ever get infected, I guarantee you that. The mechanics are different than P2. As long as you finish your main quest daily, your bounds will never have a reason to go outside and get infected.
The shmowders are really for the other two healers' bounds, who will randomly end up infected. You should only cure them if you're gunning for the double secret ending where you meet the devs.
And at most you'll need like 5 or 7 shmowders? That's not counting the panacea you'll have in the Haruspex route yk. Like 4 or 5 bottles total, I think.
So really just two or three shmowders are needed for the secret secret ending.
Ignore teensy, she is useless to you.
for the lockpicks, you shouldn't be needing too many? What are you using them for? Looting healthy houses or savescuming trading with kids inside the houses?
If it's the first, don't bother. Whatever food in the healthy houses pales in comparison to the fact you can find weapons in looter houses that sell for a shit ton of money. Buy food from shops instead, you'll be able to afford it eventually.
If it's for trading with kids, don't bother either. Or only do it once a day at night when wasting time. Hog all of your trade items, memorise one house with at least one girl with pigtails who trades bullets and one black hair boy who trades bullets, then trade all your items to them
Their inventory refills when you leave and re-enter the house! So you can endlessly trade with them.
If you still want lockpicks, you're better killing enemies and looting it out of their corposes. You can also trade them from pigtails girl, otherwise yeah Grief is the only option.
Eitheway. I hope your day goes well <3 And whatever you're in a hury for ends up going smoothly and to your liking. I loved talking about this! I really enjoy talking about my art and writing process, thank you for the thoughtful questions.
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candythepuppy · 11 months ago
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Insanely basic tips for writing engaging stories:
Since all my dead majestic monsters, my scrigily scraggles, seem to wanna know how I keep my stories interesting, I have here my ultimate writing weapon! The writing advice to topple ALL writing advice!
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Yeah, that's literally it.
I will admit this is no original find of mine. In fact, this basic tip has been in the minds of humans since the conception of story-telling. Heck, the chances you have heard about the importance of conflict are higher than my chances of finding true love some day. How to best implement this, however, may not be so well known. Which is why that will be the topic for the rest of this post.
Please understand: conflict is NOT just punching and kicking. Physical fighting is merely a branch of conflict, often used as a means to resolve the extreme cases. Conflict can be as big as a galactic war or as small as the struggle in someone's mind as they debate getting out of bed. Conflict is so constant in our every day lives that we often overlook it.
0.5. Pay more attention to your own life and pinpoint when and where conflict both big and small make an appearance. You can use these for inspiration.
A conflict can be broken into three major parts. 1: the people involved (May and her little brother) 2: the problem (May's little brother is hungry, but he just ate) 3: the resolution (May either gives her brother more food or tells him to suck it up)
THE PEOPLE INVOLVED:
1. Brother/sister, mother/father, weird homeless drunk/depressed clown; it is important to establish who is involved. Who are these people, exactly? What do they want and how does it relate to the problem and other people involved?
2. Neither character has to be "good" or "bad" for this to work. In fact, it makes a story all the more interesting when the issue, as well as the people involved exist more in a gray area. Makes it even more interesting when considering who is right and/or who will win. Or, even if we are writing a typical Batman V. Joker comic, looking at both characters to see exactly why these two would be so inclined to fight is a great way to set up a scene. The Joker wants to destroy Gothem, not only because he is evil, but because he believes it is what Gothem deserves for being corrupt, V. Batman, who wants to protect Gothem, not just because he is good, but because even though he see the corruption, he likes to believe that with a little help, it can and will change for the better. What I am trying to say is that, with this in mind, not every, or ANY problem has to be so black and white. So easy to tell who is in the right and who is in the wrong. Same goes for the characters involved.
3. Make their relationships interesting, please. If this is their first time meeting, make that matter. Involve conflict the moment they meet. Doesn't have to be THE conflict, but it would be useful to tie even the small stuff into the over arcing conflict between them.
Example: two people bump into each other on a bus. Both immediately think the other is rude or something. Instant negative connotation makes for more interesting first-meets... in my humble opinion. Bonus If this is a reoccurring problem for the two. Throughout the story, they are constantly assuming the worst out of the other, which plays into the main conflict centering around them being unable to trust one another.
If the people involved have known each other for a long time, give them a long, complicated history together. Even if they have always been friends, make it obvious that they have both seen each other at their worst, and staying friends hasn't always been easy. Even something as simple and wholesome as an unofficial adopting should have some iffy matter mixed in, such as lies about what one member does for a living, what another member did in the past that might affect the people around them, or heck, even something stupid like one liking BEANS and the other absolutely hating them!
#Example: May is a highschool student put in charge of her kid brother, Johnny. Both of their parents are so busy that she is left to take care of him most of the time. This means that his needs often overshadow her own needs, wants, and personal life. This might leave her a bit resentful, angry even at her little brother for constantly being so needy. It doesn't help that Johnny is always annoying her. Johnny, on the other hand, is just your average boy. He has a hard time making friends at his daycare, and so likes to bother his sister a lot for her attention. He doesn't get along with her very much, though, because she is always grumpy and snappy at him. But at the same time he knows how much he needs her help. So, he'll often try to do things on his own and mess up, causing even bigger problems. Suffice to say, their relationship is not very healthy by the time 'the problem' comes around. (This example is a bit long, but I hope you get the point. Detailed information like this, even if you never end up writing any of it down, is key to setting up a good conflict.)
THE PROBLEM:
1. Please please please please PLEASE don't make it boring!
"but candy!" I hear you say in a comically high pitch voice full of grammatical mistake. "my conflict isn't boring, because it is about two kids saving the world!" News flash, that IS boring! Unless you're obsessed with the planet, no one gives a crap about the world itself! (There's a reason climate activists fail so miserably when it comes to branding their cause to the general public. The issue is just too big and vague for the average person to care about.) It's the people and things existing ON it that really matter!
Take a moment to think about the things people really care about. Something most people can't imagine living happily without. Okay? Now, take that thing away. Suddenly, you have characters going from "oh no, the planet" to "OH NO, MY DELUXE 360 HXD HERSHEY'S KISS™" in an instant. This is why I personally never make my conflicts too huge, and if I do, it's more about the characters involved and what they will lose than the issue itself. Bonus If the issue is directly related to the characters in a deeply personal way. It doesn't have to be just one problem either. The more, the merrier, I always say!
Example: someone wants, no, NEEDS to make amends with a loved one they hurt long ago, but have been putting it off for years. Now that the problem, a terminal illness said to kill them within a few months comes about, they have that push they need. In this case, both the external and internal problems in this person's life combine to create one inciting incident. Multiple problems for this character to overcome/deal with.
2. There's a reason watching a kid getting relentlessly beaten up just isn't fun, narratively speaking. Depending on the story, it can work, but I have found that for the majority of conflicts, it is essential for both parties to be at risk. For both sides to feel like both the bully and the kid getting bullied.
Both parties need to be on the verge of losing something good or gaining something bad. Even if it's as simple as one man losing his pride v. another man losing his. (btw, if it's about something like pride, make sure to back that up with information regarding why their pride is so important to them) That way, the conflict feels that much more real and engaging. Even following the superhero comic book format, you need to think about what is at stake for the villain here as well as what is at stake for the hero? How exactly would losing to the hero impact the villain negatively, so much so that it is his goal to avoid it? Be creative about it too!
3. This was originally going to be my first tip just because of how important it is, but ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ oh well.
Remember to tie these points of conflict into one main conflict/theme.
Example: though my main character in one of my books has MANY enemies -- literally more than half the cast have tried to kill her at some point -- that isn't the main conflict here. Rather, it is all on HER. Will her naturally eViL inclined powers turn her into the villain? Will the fact that her DAD is a villain lead her to becoming one too? (so creative, I know. It was designed as a spoof of a common trope turned super existential.) Will her questionable morals despite always trying to do the right thing turn her into a villain? Will her inherent selfishness turned desire to help people out of spite eventually lead to her downfall? Is her purity slowly rotting at the core thanks to her own actions and mistakes, or those of others? Has she always secretly been evil, but has always worn a shell of purity to protect herself emotionally, or has she turned into this monster without even realizing it slowly over time?.. Literally every single character, action, problem, and motive all on some degree have to do with judging the MC for her villain potential. Even her best friends are not safe from this, constantly having to ask themselves why she is hiding so much from them, what her true motives are for everything she does, and whether or not that ties into her potential for corruption in the near future. Because, at the end of the day, this is a story about morals, the price of redemption, what it even means to BE redeemed and to NEED redemption, and the terrifyingly blurred line between good and evil. Because of that, it is crucial that every problem, both big and small, somehow has to do with these major themes/conflicts.
#Example: Even though Johnny just ate, he is once again asking for May's financial support. May doesn't want to. Making Johnny more food would mean taking time out of her own precious free time with her friends. Meanwhile, Johnny is hungry, and his sister ignoring that only proves to him how little she cares. He already feels alone and like nothing but a burden as it is, so seeing that his sister cares really matters to him. But, at the same time, May needs to feel like she matters too. Like she is her own person; not just her parents nanny working an entire job for free. Both of them struggle with their individuality, self worth, and this co-reliant relationship the two have been trapped into. And there seems to be no easy way out where either party truly wins.
THE RESOLUTION:
This isn't as simple as the end to a story. Oh, nononononoNO! This process is perhaps the most complicated of them all, because not only are you having to acknowledge the complexities of the situation, the characters within it, and the many ways this can go very...VERY wrong, it is also where you have to make the hard decision and decide who wins. And if you're a writer like me who likes to tackle insanely complex, multi-faceted problems that simply don't have one easy answer, this process may be even harder.
1. Recall and set in stone why the conflict started in the first place. Every problem has a source, even if that source is insanely complicated. Try your best to simplify that beginning point into one thread of action. Something tangible, which the characters can interact with and solve later. (Interaction includes dialogue.)
2. Bring the characters' arcs around to make them reflect on this origin of their problems. Depending on the character, they may either decide to fix the problem from there, or ignore it and march on stubbornly. The ladder are usually the villainous lost causes too fixated on their goals to care about a real fix once one is finally found. You could honestly do a million different things in this stage. Such as having characters helping other characters; convincing them of the truth, fighting over said truth, and possibly even dying for said truth. But, what really matters is that the characters realize there IS a solution to this problem, and they have the power to fix it.
3. And finally, resolve the issue.
Depending on the problem, this is where either the Death Star blows up, the teenagers agree to poison themselves so they won't have to kill each other, or the boy finally builds up the courage to ask his crush out.
What is important is that, by the end, we KNOW the main issue has been resolved. Yes, it might just be one battle won at the beginning of a long war yet to come. Yes, there might still be years of living out an honorable life before being forgiven. And yes, there's a chance they could break up in the future... But, what matters is this little victory. THIS small moment, this miniscule blip in time when the issue we as readers/viewers have been led to care so much about finally sees an end. When we can all sigh in relief.
In the grand scheme of things, that conflict was nothing and it meant nothing. Not compared to the billions of years before us and the billions after us. Like any problem you may face in your teens that was super important back then, but now is just a fading memory, it was just one small step in the long walk of life. Of existence.
You want to know why conflict has existed in stories as long as it has? Because even the first humans faced problems...just like us. And the humans a thousand years from now will continue to face the exact same problems every single day.
What's so great about conflict is what we can learn from it. It's like a language all on its own. A universal language at that. And through the power of story-telling, we can hope to share some of that wisdom with those who will come after us. We can share some of ourselves with those who stand with us today. Because we're walking through life together. And we can all use a little story every now and then to encourage us; to help us know what to do in that next step.
That is why conflict matters.
And why it always will.
#Example: Though May and Johnny start off arguing, yelling, and screaming at each other, through this they finally open up. They finally word the way they feel, why that is so, and what their desires truly are. Truth is they love each other. They want to live happily together, but also realize and accept that pretending to have the perfect bond is pointless. Pretending that they have control over their lives is pointless as well. What they can control, however, is how they treat each other. May can be less rude, and Johnny can be less annoying. They finally decide to do with what they can, using what they have control over to make their lives together just a little bit better than how they were before.
And, yes. Johnny gets that snack. And May, though a tad late, gets to hang out with her friends too.
Because, though conflict is what holds the story together, what matters just as much is how it is resolved. Just like with May and Johnny, every single story out there is just as much held together by the love between the characters as it is the hate between them. Perhaps even more. Because love is the reason they were willing to fight such a conflict in the first place.
I CANNOT EXAGGERATE THIS ENOUGH, THOUGH. IF YOUR MC IS NOT IN A CONSTANT STATE OF PERIL, THE AUDIENCE WILL DROP IT. I REPEAT. THE AUDIENCE WILL DROP IT.
That being said, it is also a delicate balancing act. Give your MC time to breathe, but while that is happening, simultaneously build up the next big threat. Once you get good enough at doing that, you can start to juggle multiple sources of conflict at once. All dipping and weaving in and out of the story like a beautiful dance, each character bringing their own complex relationship + problems with the MC every time they interact, all slowly building and building until these smaller conflicts merge into one BIG problem the MC now has to face.
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mechazushi · 9 months ago
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Story Idea #3
So, this idea falls more into the category of a video game, but games are just interactive stories, so I'm counting it. Also, I've always viewed this through an Ib colored lens. 16 bit, top down, horror, puzzle, multiple endings, genuinely terrifying and anxiety inducing moments. That sort of thing.
So the idea goes like this. A mother and her child, definitely adult age as well, are discussing the Mother's living arrangement. Its not that mom's gotten old, its that her house could be on an episode of Hoarders. The Mom hasn't been dealing with a lot of things well emotionally. Husband dead, kids flew the nest, probably a few other things as well. The two of them fight and the kid storms off into another room... well.... as best they can really. The Mom senses that they need a moment and decides to get introspective, only to deny herself the truth and clarity and tries to go after the Kid. Only... was the hallway always this long? There seems to be more boxes than she expected. Ok, this room didn't look like this before, and she should of definitly caught up to her child by now. The house, although filled with stuff, never felt this big. OK, She was POSITIVE this house didn't have two bedrooms... AND another HALLWAY?!?!?!
She gets to the end of the hallway and sh*t goes off the rails. Now there's these shadowy humanoids reaching out and slithering across the floors and walls. She looks into the next room and sees that a cluster of them have her kid hostage. Struggiling and screaming, the shadows wrangle the child and mother away from each other, clawing the child with them into a pile of trash at the other end of the room. The room is silent now. All that there is to here is the wind, knocking branches into the thin glass windows and the mothers strangled, repressed weeping. Not sure if she can cry any louder at the moment, terrified that it might attract unwanted attention. The mission is clear now, however. Clean the house. Get the Kid.
What really makes this story in my head is this idea that I have for the core game mechanic. The only thing the mother can carry with her that doesn't seem to be affected is her purse, and its just as bad as the rest of the house. Absolutely filled to the brim with junk, one might be compelled to get rid of some of it right off the bat. Its sounds like a good idea, right? Start small, trash the used tissues, the foil wrapped ball of used gum, and find a better place for the box of thumbtacks. Easy enough. But this is where you would be making your first mistake. In order to get the good ending of the game, you have to pass every puzzle using the junk in the purse, and I do mean EVERYTHING. The puzzles can be solved in different ways, with a different combination of items. To make matters worse, you can trash (essentially perma delete) items from your purse and pick up different items in rooms. How much and what's left in the purse can determine the ending of the game. Obviously the good ending is you save the kid and get the Mom to therapy, but things could go wrong between here and there.
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tumblingxelian · 5 months ago
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Wanted to say thanks to @violetren for contributing to the collective post with these tags and for giving me permission to share them:
#pretty much everything above #i am glad someone pointed out that Tai was probably trying to mimic Qrow with the off colour joke #because thats probably exactly what he was doing #he seems to think that the fact their uncle can do it means their Dad obviously can #and doesn't examine the fact that he just hasn't earned the trust or respect to safely engage in such exchanges #its very immature and reminds me of when my older nephew complains that his little brother is getting special treatment #when in actuality his little brother doesn't have to put his own washing away because can't even reach half the drawers #qrow gets to make the jokes about mental health because qrow is 1 self aware that he is just as big a mess #2 doesn't shy away from that fact or pretend that the girls don't know it#3 is mature enough to check in and follow up with reassurances
Glad you approve & yeah, it was a great insight regarding the joke and it does feel rather accurate for Tai given his at times rather... Well petulant manner when it comes to emotional topics he either doesn't like or feels he should be involved in. Immature is a good way to put it. Also yeah, the entire structure and dynamic is just so very different.
#on another topic i feel people have been going for the Actually Good Dad Tai angle again after the boba episode #because look he used to take them to boba clearly he got better #which is a very correlation not causation kinda situation in my eyes #my very first reaction to the whole remember how dad would take us to boba #was thats him trying to wallpaper not being there before and putting in minimal effort now #how bad could he be if he did something that made them smile every now and then?#obviously dropping a couple of lien on a fruity drink the girls enjoy is the same as being an emotionally present and engaged parent #its not like buying kids a bunch of nothing present to throw in their face whenever they say you never do anything for them #is a common tactic of real life deadbeats #because thats what he is. a deadbeat. #that fact that he's generally friendly doesn't negate it #it just means less people would have caught onto the fact that he's a crap parent #because even if they DID notice its not easy to call out the type of guy who overrides all arguments with the fact that he's trying now #even if its pretty clear the only thing he's actually trying to do is stay in his own comfort zone
Mhm, I very much sensed that takes coming when the episode aired and I agree with your insightful takes on the matter.
I often find both in media and real life, all a dad needs to do is the bare minimum or nothing outright malevolent to be cast as a good dad. Meanwhile a mother that's anything less than perfect is torn down faster than one can say double standards.
I also think people have a very specific image of being a bad, toxic or just not very good dad looks like. & so unless the father is hyper cold & aloof, cruel and mocking, or outright violent. The good dad-ness is presumed rather than earned.
I think it was in a discussion with @bestworstcase that the idea of Tai being the "Fun dad" to Ruby emerged. IE, Tai's not really keyed in enough to do the emotional heavy lifting, or a lo of the drudgery that comes with being a parent. So that stuff still got left to Yang (Like seeking out Ruby in V5). While he did the fun stuff, sent dogs in the mail, bought bobba, the things that required very little effort but yielded a big reward as far as seeming like a functional adult goes.
#i'm always skeptical of the tai is actually staying in patch to guard a relic theory for this reason #if there was something to protect on that island then summer was doing the job #and when she died Oz decided sending a new guardian into what had become the rose xiao long home would just raise suspicions
Honestly, I don't think the Relic is on Patch or if it is, I don't think he'd be guarding it in any official capacity. I think its more likely, if it is there, that he's just kind of sitting on it, metaphorically, a reflection of him being stuck in arrested development. The only other contexts in which him guard the Crown would make sense are:
If he's just a portal beacon for Raven to summon reinforcement as he's the only one with a connection to her there that also isn't more useful elsewhere. Or, he can store up Aura for years and explode like Voltorb or a Saibaman and so his job is to take Cinder out with him to deny Salem the Crown.
I don't find either that likely though.
A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red
I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.
With that fact in mind, let's begin:
During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.
The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.
So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.
Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?
Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.
Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.
I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.
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What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.
Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.
Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.
Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:
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So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.
Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!
Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.
& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.
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In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.
Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!
We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!
After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.
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As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.
& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.
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So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.
Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.
This is so painfully unfair it hurts.
No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:
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I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.
What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.
Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.
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Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.
Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.
So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:
Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.
Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.
Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.
Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.
Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.
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She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.
Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.
This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.
With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs
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Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.
Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.
Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.
Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.
Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.
Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.
Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.
But let's push on, because I'm not done.
Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.
Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.
A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.
Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.
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As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.
Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.
Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.
But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.
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Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.
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Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.
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Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.
Or in other words, she:
Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.
Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.
Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.
Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.
Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.
This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.
I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.
I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.
I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.
These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.
& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!
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your-mom-friend · 3 years ago
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Really thinking about the perceived betrayal trope.
Idk what it's actually called but I mean like when a character has to confront two statements, both opposing yet true (at least to them), and the genre of story hinges entirely on which truth wins out as more important.
Cases in point: Merlin and Danny Phantom
In Merlin, Arthur had been taught, practically from Birth, that magic was evil and bad and anyone associated with it was corrupted beyond redemption.
Enter Merlin. Sweet, country boy, wiser than anticipated, who Arthur trusts with his life, crown, and country. The guy who practices magic and is effectively the most powerful sorcerer EVER.
Now think about reveal fics, or the actual reveal, and you've probably noticed how the main plot is well, how Arthur handles it.
He has to face two apparent truths. Merlin is his best friend, and would never betray him; he's too good and pure. Merlin practices magic, which is evil and corrupting, and unforgivable.
It hinges on which 'truth' wins out in the end. What's more important? That Merlin would never do anything evil? Or that Magic is evil?
The same goes with Danny Phantom.
I haven't really seen the show, so I'll base it off of fanfics.
When Jack and Maddie are confronted with their son being Phantom, they have to deal with two perceived truths. That ghosts are evil, and that their son (whom they love) is a half-ghost.
Which side is more important to them? The side that is their son, their child whom they love dearly (it's not like they ever really parented him but that's its own tangent), or the side that's a ghost, a creature they swore to destroy?
And the thing that gets me about this trope is how much it affects everyone involved. No matter what happens there's so much inherent guilt and fear and hurt involved.
Jack and Maddie killed and hunted their son. Arthur condemned his best friend and his kind to death time and time again.
Both protagonists have to hide their existence, their identities, from people that they care about so deeply. They have to hide behind a new identity to defend people that openly hate them, only to return to their lives and pretend that they didn't see a side to these people that scarred them for life.
And we get to see how it hurts the people that it's revealed to. Which is understandable. This thing that they thought of as the undeniable truth is now thrown for a loop and it causes hurt and confusion and stuff. But it was always, ALWAYS, invariably more painful for the secret-keeper.
And gosh I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be taken that way but as a young queer person that just really hits, y'know? Especially when the family and environment you live in aren't queer-friendly.
Like, reveal fics always have a piece of coming out in them, don't they? You divulge a part of yourself to your loved ones, hoping and praying that they'll see that you're still YOU. That you're just showing them a part of you. It hasn't changed you, you're not evil, you're not a sin, you're not broken or wrong. They can't fix you. You're just you and nothing's changed.
And it's such a vulnerable position because how they react will determine the way you live from then on. Will all that trust and familiarity be gone, because they feel like they don't know you? Will you no longer be welcome in your own home? Will it just become more open and easy to live?
When it comes to this sort of reveal, especially to family or friends, It's not just about telling someone a fact of yourself. It's about showing them a part of yourself that you've been hiding because you love them so much, that even the possibility of them rejecting you scared you into hiding. Because it's easier to live in a world where they don't know and love you, than to live in a world where they know and hate you. It's a show of trust and hope.
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everythingsinred · 3 years ago
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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 14)
Natsume has been putting himself on the line for his sister. He's currently manipulating his way into the Hana Hime den, completely unaware that he's falling for a trap set for him. At the same time, his manipulations involve spending a lot of time with Mikan, and how his feelings of love for her complicate things.
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Chapter Fifty-Six
The boys dutifully dress in girls’ kimonos, even if they are embarrassed. Natsume will do anything for his sister, so dressing in drag is really nothing compared to all the other stuff he has done and will do for her.
Upon arriving at the house for the party, Mikan is very excited, waving her hands (including the one not-actually-stuck to Natsume) and dragging him all over, which he surprisingly allows.
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Yeah, yeah, the scans are low-quality, but what matters is LOOK AT THEM. She's so excited and dragging him around and he just lets her! I'm obsessed.
They enter, escorted by Shizune, who leads them past the party on the first floor, which is open to all Middle school girls. They are headed to the more exclusive party on the second floor. Many of the Middle school girls gossip about the group headed up the stairs, but Mikan is happy to notice Misaki and Nobara in the crowd. Nobara is excited to see her, until she sees Natsume there too. Her mood changes from excited to scared, asking why Natsume has come to this place and warning Mikan to get him out because he won’t be safe there.
Nobara is surprised to see him, but also scared for him, which gives off the impression that either she didn't think Natsume would fall for the trap or she wasn't aware that there was a trap at all but knows that the Hana Hime den is a dangerous place for him anyway. With this in mind, we can see that something very dangerous is awaiting Natsume. If he does find his sister, it won't be easy getting her out safely.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Almost immediately after arriving, Hotaru is able to separate from Ruka and Youichi, which spurs Natsume to finally give up Mikan’s hand as well. The MSP is obviously peeved by the boys’ presence and the role she was forced to play for Persona.
The flower princesses have decided to cheer the MSP up by choosing one of the incoming group to bully. Hotaru is absolutely out of the question, as she is the only one the MSP actually intended to invite. The boys are not chosen either, as Natsume is to be sacrificed to Persona and the princesses find them all cute. That leaves Mikan, who is immediately obnoxious and loud, the perfect target for ridicule.
Mikan is very excited about the traditions and rituals of the flower party, but she is very persistently excluded from each one. Even the boys get flower names (other than Yo-chan), but Mikan is ignored when she asks for one.
She is then excluded from the feast, with all the dishes purposefully taken from her and placed in front of other people. She is then given a “medicine” which only makes her smell bad so the other attendees want to stay away from her. Hotaru seems to be distracted by the special treatment she was so looking forward to, but Natsume is visibly bothered by the strange way in which the flower princesses are treating Mikan.
The games they play either exclude Mikan, mock her, or both.
In no time at all, she is thoroughly lonely, depressed, and hungry, her face painted all over.
They all sit around for another game, and the flower princesses decide that Mikan shouldn’t be invited for this one at all. Though Ruka and Hotaru are put off by this, Natsume has had enough, so he leaves the circle completely. Hotaru's way of defending Mikan is to get back at the girls through a game she invented, but Natsume's technique is a bit more straight-forward.
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Natsume doesn't even like these people. Mikan, on the other hand...
Natsume has gone to fetch a dumpling for Mikan, a chestnut kuri kinton shaped like an orange. Perfect for her, he says. He then says he’s unbothered by the smell of her medicine, especially compared to the perfumes sprayed all over the place. Natsume doesn’t care about being polite and courteous to the MSP. He’s here to save Aoi, and standing by while these girls bully the love of his life won’t exactly help him save Aoi, so why should he do it?
So they end up bickering over something stupid again, and Mikan seems all cheered up.
She even seems sad to see him go to the bathroom, telling him to hurry so they can eat and spend more time together.
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Pretending is so much harder when he can see that she actually enjoys spending time with him. How is he supposed to be okay with his fate when this is so much more pleasant?
He shuts her down, like it’s no big deal, but it is, of course, like everything else he borrows.
But he can’t have her waiting for him when he knows deep down there’s a chance he might not come back. He’s here for a reason after all, and that reason is sadly not to eat kuri kinton with Mikan. It’s to save his sister, who might be captive in a dungeon somewhere.
The MSP warns him not to explore too much, as she won’t be responsible for anything that happens to him.
He begins by looking for a bathroom, but there are no boys’ bathrooms, so he wanders around. His attention is immediately grabbed by some girls talking about “Yuki Aoi”. This is a trap, of course, just like everything else. He follows the girls downstairs into the basement, trying to look for Aoi, but the girls quickly report to Persona that it’s all going according to plan. It almost seems like too obvious a trap, but Natsume is desperate. He hasn't heard from Aoi in too long. He's so eager to find her that he doesn't see the warning signs, like that all the hints about Aoi are a bit too obvious.
Now is time for the Dangerous Ability Discipline Squad to be deployed.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Natsume descends into the dungeons, perfectly aware that he could end up staying there forever, and that he’ll be horribly punished for sure. There isn’t a lot of Natsume in this chapter actually, but his friends grow concerned about his long absence from the party, and wonder if Natsume has perhaps been punished as the MSP warned, for wandering where he shouldn’t.
We learn that the MSP has a very strong barrier alice, one that protects the whole school, and that it is very powerful in the dungeons, where Natsume is.
When we do see Natsume again, he has only gone deeper into the basement, when he sees a cell with a girl in it. He quickly rushes to her side, convinced that it’s his sister, but is disappointed to find that it’s actually Nobara with a wig, unconscious.
The problem is, now he’s locked in a cell.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Nobara, desperate as she was to make sure Natsume was okay, took Tsubasa with her into the dungeons, only to be isolated and put into a trance state. Natsume knows what the trance state means: it’s the only way she can be made to use her alice on missions, as she is usually good-natured.
He knows he’s in danger now, that the DA class has trapped him and that he might have to fight. And just like that, the Discipline Squad is there: Rui, Hayate, and Yakumo, all waiting for him.
Natsume has been acting out of line for quite some time now. He’s been going on missions that go against the agenda of the school, all to help his friends, specifically his "kitten of a different color". He’s been smiling and joking more, happy when he’s supposed to be eternally despairing. The higher ups don’t like that, and this is his punishment.
Rui explains what’s going on, since Natsume goes on missions on the outside and isn’t familiar. The Discipline Squad is a subdivision of the DA class to punish people who aren’t toeing the company line. The Hana Hime den basement is where they usually do their work. Tsubasa was once victim to Rui’s alice specifically as a punishment for his troublemaking, hence the curse mark under his eye. Natsume’s punishment will likely be much more severe.
Persona then appears, holding the unconscious Nobara, informing Natsume that this was the final test: that Natsume should have been obedient and not wandered down into the basement. However, he has failed the test and stepped out of line once again, and this is the last straw.
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Ah, how nice to see the Discipline Squad, my beloveds. And Natsume looks so pretty in that kimono.
Natsume is immediately on the offensive, grabbing Persona and demanding to know where Aoi is, but Persona uses his alice on Natsume’s wrists so he pulls away. Persona then instructs one of the Discipline Squad to go and get rid of the four new intruders who have descended into the basement, so now Natsume knows he has an extra responsibility beyond simply rescuing Aoi (not that rescuing Aoi was ever going to be simple).
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Despite always putting others first, he never considers that his existence matters to people, and that if he's in danger, his friends will come to protect him.
The squad decides Hayate will go, although he complains because he had apparently been waiting a very long time to be able to beat Natsume up. We can see that Natsume isn’t popular in the DA class either, and perhaps that Yo-chan is the only one who might admire him, even in a class where they’re all in a similar boat.
The silly antics and childish jabs of the Discipline Squad too are very interesting. They act big and tough, and were perhaps given heavy responsibilities, but they’re still children. Every single person in the DA class is a child, someone forced into these actions in some way or other, whether through emotional blackmail, physical coercion, or manipulation. All of these kids are under the illusion that they are more important than they are--simply pawns obediently doing their duty for the school’s benefit.
It’s an effective tactic to pit oppressed or victimized people against each other so they don’t focus on the real enemy, Persona and the ESP. The DA class demonstrates this quite well. Back in the day, Luna was pitted against Yuka. Natsume hates most of his classmates except for Youichi. He can lash out at Nobara, who is loyal to Persona, because he can’t lash out at the man himself. And all the other kids hate each other, get mad at each other, argue amongst each other. Hayate getting angry that Rui is calling the shots even though the real person in charge is Persona (and even further up, the ESP) is a great example of this. They are all so busy being mad at each other that they don’t realize the person pulling the strings is the one they should be angry at.
Anyway, Persona warns Natsume that because four new people have entered the fray, he might want to submit. After all, the dungeon has the highest concentration of the MSP’s alice, and he isn’t accustomed to it, like the Discipline Squad is. But if he refuses to submit, then Persona will give him answers if, and only if, he can defeat all three members of the squad. If he cannot defeat them, well, he’ll be trapped in the dungeon for the rest of his life. Naturally, Natsume has no choice but to agree to the deal. His sister’s safety is at stake, after all, and he would do anything for her, including possibly allowing himself to be locked in a dungeon forever.
Chapter Sixty
Persona leaves Natsume alone with Rui and Yakumo, and Natsume thinks to himself that this is an impossible situation. His upperclassmen are very powerful and their alices suit the name “dangerous ability”. At the same time, he realizes that he has to win, because he wants to save Aoi and avoid being locked up. But Rui decides to take off, sensing Tsubasa in the dungeon, so Natsume is left with only Yakumo, which might make things easier. One on one is easier than two on one, after all.
But Natsume is actually not relieved. If Rui senses someone he’s marked, then there might be another person down with them. In any case, he doesn’t want Rui to meet his friends. Hayate is one thing, but Rui is far more dangerous, and they might be in serious danger if he decides to use his alice. After all, Natsume can hardly use his alice properly, so even if his friends had a chance with their alices, they’ll be at a serious disadvantage in the dungeon.
Yakumo tells him to snap out of it, to stop being distracted, because then Natsume will certainly lose. So Natsume has no choice but to hope for the best for his friends and that the mystery fifth intruder will protect them in his place, and focus on his fight with Yakumo for now.
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This translation is a bit unclear, but he's pleading for the mystery intruder (Tsubasa) to protect his friends because he can't.
It’s interesting, from what we see of Yo-chan standing up for the other intruders in the dungeon, that Natsume told him to look out for the others in case something happened. Why did Natsume entrust such a task to a toddler, and not to Ruka or somebody else? Well, for one, Natsume has been entrusted with caring for everyone around him at a young age too. It was his job to be the serious and mature one after his mother died, taking responsibility to be as adult as possible and protect his father and sister, even though that shouldn’t have been on his shoulders at all. He won’t think it’s unfair to ask Yo-chan for this, because he’s been through it too and it’s normal for him.
Another thing is that every kid in the DA class is extremely powerful. To be in the DA class, it’s not enough to have a potentially dangerous alice, or many other kids would be in it. Tsubasa could have been in sooner, or Ruka could have been enlisted. Even Iinchou’s alice could be potentially terrifying if used in the right way. But they’re not DA students, because the alice has to be powerful enough to exploit. Yo-chan isn’t just in possession of a creepy alice; he’s a prodigy as well. He has control of his power and can do terrifying things with it. He’s been put on missions and trained too, even as little as he is, and he can do much more with his alice than the others can. Natsume trusts Yo-chan because he knows how dangerous these situations can be and he’s the most qualified to protect his friends.
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Natsume please. He's just a baby.
It’s tragic, but it’s the truth. The DA students are living very different lives from the rest of them, much better acquainted with the school’s darkness than anybody else could comprehend.
And Natsume might be locked inside it forever.
Chapter Sixty-One
We learn that Yakumo has insect pheromones. Natsume is fighting hard, using his alice to protect himself, thinking hard of Aoi to keep himself aware of what he’s fighting so hard for.
There sadly isn’t much Natsume in the chapter. He’s busy at a stand-off with Yakumo and the battle isn’t really going anywhere.
Something of note is Narumi, looking at Ruka’s postcard from his mother, pondering why the children haven’t returned yet. He knows something is up, and has no doubt known the whole time at the very least that there were too many coincidences involved in the banquet to be mere coincidences. At most, he was somewhat aware that Persona was planning on punishing Natsume. With Narumi, it’s hard to tell.
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And he was right all along...
Narumi recalls saying that Mikan could be the key to Natsume’s future, because he’d had the hunch that Mikan would become Natsume’s light. Natsume has, after all this time, realized that as well. Nobody wants to be locked up forever, but he especially doesn’t after he’s found something that helped make him happy again. So he will fight hard, because he wants to see Aoi again, and because he wants to see Mikan again too.
Conclusion
Natsume is ready to fight his hardest to find Aoi and keep from being locked away forever. He was aware before that he might not be able to easily make it back out, but it's become harder than he had imagined. Now that he knows Mikan and the others have followed him, he has even more to consider.
It’s a shame that I won’t be talking about Natsume and Ruka’s backstory in this essay. I brought up what I wanted to at the very beginning of this essay, and I won’t say much more than that here. I’ll touch on it in the Mikan POV essay, and I’ll go into every detail I can when I eventually analyze Natsume and Ruka’s relationship, but for now, there’s not much I’ll say.
This may be surprising! No Natsume backstory analysis in a Natsume essay?! But I’d be repeating what I’d said in the beginning. This isn’t just a Natsume essay after all. It’s a ship analysis, and I’ve said what I needed to already. I’m sad to skip it because it’s one of my favorite arcs in the whole story, but I’ll beat it to death in the future, so all is well.
I'm sorry if this was underwhelming. Like I'd said before, this arc is all about discovering Natsume, and Natsume... is Natsume, so he doesn't need to discover anything. I don't want to repeat myself or beat a dead horse just to fill up space. I reckon there will be one more part to this arc! I'm also sorry for posting this kinda late. I got very busy this morning and now everything is off-schedule. I'll try to post at a normal time tomorrow.
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danceing-spelled-wrong · 4 years ago
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I've created siblings.
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Yes. I'm brain dead.
Yes I have too much time.
Yes I'm dying
And yes. They over lay with Amly
I guess I'll explain them..woo..
Cemi:
He came to Snaktooth Island because he was dragged there by his older sister
He's not a well known icon, but he's known for his modeling gigs
He gets crushes pretty easily and gets upset when they don't like him back
Even though he looks like he would never hurt anyone, he could hurt anyone and will do it
He's really good at hiding and publicly speaking
When he first stepped on the island, he met Eggabell and fell in love with her
Then he met Triffany and fell in love with her, then Wiggle, and lastly Floofty
He doesn't like his sister because she spends time with Floofty
He doesn't like Chandlo(he got confused and thought he was dating Floofty) or Gramble because they have a thing for his crushes
He covers his left eye due to incident with a wild animal but his sister took most of the fall for him
His hut is right beside his sister's hut which is near the woods
In town, he's known as a bit of a stalker
He's relatively popular despite him acting shy which might add to his "coolness" but that's up to perceptive
Beffica made him a bracelet and he always keeps it on
Even though Lizbert's with Eggabell, Cemi doesn't hate her along with Wambus
He goes out at night to..do whatever he wants
You meet him in the desert where he's stalking helping Triffany
Charlia:
She came to Snaktooth Island because she wanted to study the snaxs and get away from the city
She took a liking towards Floofty and Snorpy since they're siblings and she just so happened to bring her younger brother with her
Her and Floofty get along due to their fascination of the bugsnax and both missing their limbs
She uses a prosthetic arm due to an incident that happened when she was younger
Amly tried stealing her arm and now Charlia always keeps it on her no matter what
You find her in the Sugerpines not near Chandlo or Snorpy but closer towards the mountain
Sometimes, she lifts Cemi into the air because he's light weight and because she thinks it's cute when he tries to get out her grasp
If someone is older then her, then she'll refer to them as a Miss, Mr, Mrs, and Mx
Snorpy fixes her arm when it's broken or just isn't working
Lizbert sometimes invites her on expeditions that way Charlia can grab some test subjects
She doesn't eat the snax, seeing them as..gross but she thinks that of anything she consumes
The experiments she does aren't harsh like Floofty's but it still involves scalpels and jars of unused parts
Besides doing experiments, she really good at sports mainly basketball and football
Dialogue in game:
Cemi:
Filbo
"He's really cool! He once complimented my fur AND gave me a high five!"
Wambus
"I don't appreciate him eyeing my wife, I don't see why Filbo thinks he's so great."
Beffica
"O M G! Cemi is like, the coolest grumpus here! I gave him a bracelet and he hasn't taken it off yet!"
Gramble
"He doesn't..like me.."
Wiggle
"Darling..he followed me for a whole day! I'm no stranger to stalkers but this is just ridiculous!"
Snorpy
"No comment."
Cromdo
"All he does is stalk people and everyone still think he's such a great guy!"
Amly
"Isn't that the stalker? Cemy right? Geez..I don't try to steal from him in case it directs his attention towards me."
Triffany
"Cemi? Oh dear..he stood at mine and Wamby's doorway and watched me sleep all night.."
Chandlo
"He assumes I'm in a relationship with Floofty and now sends me death threats.."
Floofty
"I'm confused on how him and Charlia are related."
Shelda
"Absolutely no comment on that..thing!"
Being asked about Floofty:
"I would say yes..but they haven't said anything about the love letters I sent.."
Charlia
Filbo
"She's so sweet, I would love to have an older sister like her!"
Wambus
"I'd like to know why she doesn't slap some sense into her brother, maybe then he'd stop with the stalking."
Beffica
"Eh, I don't speak to her but I do know that her and Cemi are related..I see the resemblance, but they don't act the same."
Gramble
"Oh..she's..very kind..and she drops off some bugsnax if she ever catches an extra one!"
Wiggle
"A lot less..strange then her brother, I would ask why her brothers like that, but I have a feeling she's a bit like him in a way.."
Snorpy
"Charlia's arm would always break so I would be the one to fix it for her, she's quite a fan of my work, mainly because I also have a sibling who is..different."
Cromdo
"A two bit goody-two shoes is what she is! She's just as bad as Beffica, but worse!"
Amly
"I can't stand her, she's too nice to everyone and doesn't get upset when I steal stuff from her!"
Triffany
"I'm not around her a lot, but she sure is nice to talk to when we're near!"
Chandlo
"Any friend of Snorpy, is a friend of mine. She can also can jump pretty high, she's a great opponent in basketball!"
Floofty
"A curious type, like Triffany but can hold back her joy in favor of science, if only she'd let me experiment on her."
Shelda
"Nothing evil seems to be stemming from in her..but still..avoid at all cost!"
Being asked about Floofty:
"I would..but I've seen what they do..and I rather keep my other arm.."
Meeting Cemi
"Ah! Wambus! I'm not eyeing ya wife! I swear!"
*calm down, i'm not wambus*
"Oh thank grump! I don't want to be thrown again.."
"Who are you anyways? You here to stalk too?"
*explains*
"A journalist? Did Lizbert ask you to be here..or something?"
"Whatever. I'm Cemi Bowtwist, I'm a model, you a fan?"
*Come back to town?*
"Oh no! No no no! If I go back, Wambus will rip me to shreds!"
*what did you do?*
"I..um..was watching Triffany sleep."
*that's creepy*
"Hey! Can ya blame me? She's married AND hot!"
"So no. I'm not coming back to town. Not until Wambus forgives me for my action!"
*why should he?*
"Because..he has to agree..his wife is really hot.."
*Sure I guess*
"Wowy! Thank you so much!"
*Wambus agrees as long as you stop*
"Oh great..sure..I guess.."
"Alright, who else is in town?"
*Gramble, Beffica, Filbo, and Wambus*
"Oh great..is Wiggle in town? If she's there, then I'll definitely come back!"
*Wiggle's in town*
"Yes! My girl is back! Awooo!!"
"Ha ha! Alright buddy boy, I'm-"
"Woah! Wait! I got to bring something for her! Ahh!!"
"Hey boy..can you..get me a Sweetiefly? The ones in the shape of hearts? If I give it to her, she might forget I followed her for a day.."
*gives Lovely Sweetiefly*
"Thank you so much! I guess I'll see you in town then, ciao buddy boy!"
Meeting Charlia
"Oh hiya! I haven't seen you around before..you're that journalist Miss Megafig told me about, right?"
"I knew it! But..I guess you came for no reason, Miss Megafig gone missin'..whya still here?"
*explains*
"Oh! That's rather kinda of ya!"
"They call me Charlia! Charlia Bowtwist! Nice to meet cha!"
*Come back to town?*
"Town? Well..I do miss my hut..but I'm about to make a break through! I've been testing this Strabby and learned that bugsnax don't have organs!"
"With this..I can finally figure out what bugsnax are!"
"But I need more.."
"If ya don't mind bitsy..could you get me a..oh..a Weenyworm and a Cinnasnail? If it's no trouble."
*got the worm and snail*
"Perfect! They'll do perfectly!"
"Hm..just as I expected, no organs! But that doesn't explain why they don't, maybe they're their own species? How come Miss Megafig is the only grumpus who discovered them?"
"So many unknown answers! I gotta get more info!"
"Maybe Mx Fizzlebean could help me..hey..are they in town?"
"If so..can you ask them if they're willing to help me with my studies."
*Floofty says they're gonna help*
"I always liked that grumpus...*sigh*.."
"I'm comin' back! I'll see ya in town bitsy!"
Welcome back message:
Cemi
"Hello Wiggle!"
"Oh..you.."
"I..brought you some Sweetieflies!"
"Cemi. I appreciate the thought..but this doesn't fix the fact you stalked me for a whole day!"
"I was making sure..you were safe!"
"....."
"How about a walk on the beach?"
"....."
"Hehehe.."
"......"
"I'll..just..leave them here.."
"......"
"Um..bye!"
Charlia
"Oh..hey sis."
"Baby brother! I'm so happy you're here!"
"Yeah..happy to see you too.."
"What brings you back anywho?"
"All my crushes are back and I plan to ask one out."
"I wish the best of luck to you little brother!"
"What about you?"
"Me and Mx Fizzlebean are gonna study Bugsanx again."
"Oh..well..can you hook me up with them? Tell them how cool I am?
"Sorry brother, they're just not interested in you."
"Yet."
"You really have a problem."
"No. You do."
"...."
"...."
"Well bye Ce!"
"Cya Char."
Interviews
Interviewing Cemi:
*Have time for an interview?*
"Of course, I'm always open for an interview!"
*Who are you?*
"The names Cemi Bowtwist, beginner model, lady master, and Grump City's most eligible bachelor!"
*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*
"I didn't want to come here, I had my mansion and my fame but my sister dragged me here."
"That's because you've been living under a rock. Duh."
*Thoughts on Bugsnax*
"Amazing, delicious, and will get me a lover!"
*If you're famous, shouldn't it be easy to find a lover?*
"Um..skip."
*Why did you leave town?*
"*sigh*"
"When Triffany and Wambus split, I tried going after her to see if I could romance her..and when I failed I came back and..Wambus was waiting there.."
"Safe to say I got out of there before he could land a blow."
*Maybe you should stop going after peoples wives*
"Eh.."
*Any info on Lizbert?*
"Meh..I don't really like her all that much. The only reason I involved myself with her was because she was the girlfriend of Eggabell."
*Another crush?*
"I've been single since I was a teen, give me a break."
*What happened to Lizbert?*
"Her and Eggabell had an argument and I tried getting with Eggabell before they made up but then they went missing, so sadly..I have no idea."
*That'll be it, thank you!*
"That was nice! I enjoy interviews very much!"
"I also found..this..laying around..so..here."
"Now I'm gonna try to get Floofty's attention, cya!"
*you received a strange key*
Interviewing Charlia:
*Have time for an interview?*
"I'm always open to chat about my experiments!"
*Who are you?*
"Charlia Bowtwist! Eldest of the two!"
*Two?*
"Yeah! I have a younger brother! He's the cutest thing ever!"
*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*
*Why did you want to escape?*
*Thoughts on Bugsnax?*
"They're really interesting and confusing..like..what are they really? And why is everyone interested in eating them? I know Miss Megafig said they were safe..but I don't get it.."
*Then what do you do with the Bugsnax?*
"Unlike everyone else..I study them and figure out why they change everyone's limbs, Mx Fizzlebean said if I want my arm back, I could eat one..but..I think that wouldn't work very much.."
*How did you lose your arm?*
"An accident regarding an animal when I was a kid..well..it was my brothers fault but I took most of the damage for him."
*Why did you leave town*
"I left..because the fighting was too much, I'm not new to arguments..but the screaming and constant fighting was too much to handle, so I left around when Snorpy and Mr Funkbun left."
*Any info on Lizbert?*
"Miss Megafig is really nice grumpus! She shows me the ropes of catching the snax and talks to me about personal issues, I liked speaking with her a lot!"
*What happened to Lizbert*
"I'm not sure..I was asleep when she and Eggabell went missing.."
"According to Mx Fizzlebean, they had an argument before they disappeared..so..maybe they're sorting things out on a secret part of the island!"
"That was rather quick..but fun!"
"You know..I found this earlier, here, you seem to be interested in this investigation stuff!"
*You were given a journal with a lock*
Reaction to death when and after:
Cemi
"H-Huh? Charlia..?"
"Why was I so mean to her..she..she just wanted to help me..and I shoved her away..
She didn't deserve to go..I was being a jerk..why did..those things..take her?
They knew didn't they?
About her suffering?
That's why they took her..
I need to be alone..go away.."
Charlia
"Noooooooo! Cemi no! Please grump no!! Don't..please..come back.."
"This has to be a dream..please..say it's a dream..he..he's not dead..no..
I'm a terrible big sister! I deserved to go, not him! Why take him you..you evil creatures of hell?!
Just..take me..please..I..I want to leave..please..take me..
Go away..please."
No more OCs. I can't be bothered to make more concepts..
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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago
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China & America
China: [After School] China: Where are you? China: You left your clothes on the bathroom floor and he's threatening to ✂ them up and she's just sitting there nodding America: ✂💳 after buying new 👌 China: Hilarious China: but you'd have to pry his wallet out his tight arse first and he's waving the ✂ about like right now America: 😐 America: terrorist negotiations are a no no China: Oh, believe me, if he knew you were on the 📞 he'd be straight on to shout at you himself America: if he wants me to walk around naked that's his damage America: she's guaranteed not sitting there 😶 when I do China: They're your best jeans China: you already don't have enough decent gear, you're seriously going to risk it? America: they'll be my best denim cut offs America: I don't come running for him China: Because it's not freezing 11 months and a half out of the year, Ricky China: I don't either but like fuck would I let him trash any of my stuff America: move us 🏝🧉 Gaz 👏 China: You want to fake as delusional as her? China: Fine, I'll be the only one living in reality, trying to talk some sense back into the woman and stopping him from ruining literally everything we've got America: back into? America: you've got jokes China: Please China: She was never this bad before China: or at least for this long, it'd be three weeks max of the lovesick bit and then she'd always come back and be mam again America: from your 🏰 that's the view China: There's nothing about this house that's castle like but he's definitely taken the only appeals it had away China: you miss having the parties and the hangs too America: they're still happening America: Gaz doesn't run the 🌏 America: can't roll out of 🛏 onto a dance floor but it's not 😢 China: But it was better when we could throw them China: and there was no rules around here, period China: You're just giving him reason to stay, the man's a raving lunatic, instead of saying no tah it's like his new cause to fix this family and save us both China: Must've been a fucking general in a past life America: there still aren't, his don't count America: & you're not giving him a reason to fucking go so 🤫 China: You say that but any time we have to be here China: and we do, at least some of the time, we can't do what we always did before and he's calling the shots China: I'm trying to figure out what the hell that would look like, what are you doing? America: watch me America: I'll throw a party right now China: Really China: Good luck with that China: Jesus, he'll lock you up, you know he will, if he doesn't do worse beforehand America: What's Daddy Garry gonna do? Hit me? America: They'd lock him up America: & his head'll 🤯 before mine does China: You don't remember some of the boyfriends she's had China: it's not funny, for fuck's sake China: I want my life back America: the trauma hasn't run deep enough to give me memory loss & you're not old enough to play that card America: it can be anything I want, it's my life America: I remember when we had live laugh love on the kitchen wall China: You know what? China: Let him rip up all your sketty clothes China: you're being selfish, why should I help you America: now the 👖 don't know whose side you're on America: they were THE BEST when you wanted me to come back China: I'm on the side of this family China: but you only care about yourself, apparently America: you're on your own side America: you care about having your life back, not what mine looks like China: I'm the one here arguing with him for your stuff right now China: and I just want things back how they were, for all of us China: him gone and her like an actual person with thoughts and emotions about anything that ain't what he wants America: you said yourself he won't leave if I act any kind of way America: he's crusading America: & I don't look old enough to get high enough to do a mam impression America: what do you fucking expect me to do, Chi? China: Help me work this out! China: Together China: you're still here, you don't get to wash your hands of it and ignore it like Zsa does because it doesn't really matter to her China: as long as he isn't hitting any of us and maybe even then, who the fuck knows with her America: don't ! at me America: if it were that simple, togetherness could get fucked China: It ain't, that's the whole problem and what no one else seems to grasp right now China: we act up, he's got more cause to stay and get progressively worse until we can't do anything and go anywhere China: we do what he wants and stay in line, he'll probably get such a boner he'll try to marry her and adopt us America: the audacity of me taking a 🚿 in my own home China: I know China: why is he not telling her to do more washing? America: be a controlling fuckwit but make it useful America: you could be wayyyyyyyy more productive with this, sir China: I'm not saying that's right either but it's all about how WE have no respect China: she's stopped doing anything that isn't doing her 💅💄👗 for him and we're meant to do it all, apparently America: Mam has respect for his 💪🍆🍑 China: 🤮 China: It goes without saying, but he's literally fuck ugly America: but I DEMAND it's said America: he needs to know on the regs China: He's got this one wrinkle on his forehead that's so deep I reckon it could hold a ✎ China: I hate him America: if you put your 💄 in there next time he's 😪💻 , I'll let you use a DIFFERENT ONE on me China: Alright China: I'll use one of hers America: would she end it if he had 0 hair? America: or eyebrows China: His hairline is dead and she acts like she don't notice China: It's like a spell, or something America: I know someone who'd come over for a face tattoo America: or 🍆🍑 if that's all she cares about China: You do not China: and he doesn't have enough of either to cover, shh America: I do TOO China: Who? America: Si is bored enough without your parties he bought a tattoo gun online China: Oh God China: do not do it he'll be so bad, never mind the hepatitis America: & he's dyslexic China: 😂 China: I can't wait to see what bullshit he decides to misspell on himself then America: [sends her some pics because imagine] China: He's so lame China: I can't believe Gary has wrecked my chance with Jake America: his da is a fuckwit too you'd think he'd be more understanding China: like I wanna tell him anything about this China: it's shaming enough we can't throw the parties no more and everyone knows why America: he's part of the everyone, he already knows China: doesn't mean I want to go and cry about it China: I've got some pride, thank you America: he should have some America: never throws a party at his own house China: That was one of the only things we had going for us America: weakkk America: you have things going for you, ask mam when she recovers from this illness China: Okay, the main thing China: but he's going to start going out with Lucie now instead, I know it America: Lucie's been out with half his friends before him America: not a ringing endorsement, like China: Yeah, she's a right slag, and she'll do it anywhere so she don't even need the free house America: get nan out of hers, she'd do it for the sake of your love life China: We have bigger problems China: sort that one and the rest will fall back into place, yeah America: biggest problem that we don't know how to sort it America: I'll get him to hurt me 🚨🚔 we're almost there China: That's not a solution China: and they won't do fuck all about it until it's serious China: too serious to control America: is if it works America: we know he wants to throw me out the window with the 👖 America: & maybe all the boys will think I'm into some hardcore bdsm shit China: Shut up you don't know anything about that America: 👌 Jake's vanilla that's a shame China: You're 12 and that's not the kind of reputation you want or are gonna have China: that's for girls like Lucie who have fuck all else to offer so they have to go hard with that degrading shit America: told you there was more on offer from us than a free house 😛 America: but stop walking into all my traps that easy China: You're such a dick 🙄😏 China: I didn't mean that was all but fucking hell, it was clearly a big draw China: so many people are airing me right now America: you know who doesn't care about parties? America: the people you air China: Who??? America: [a list which obvs includes Bobby and Libi on it and probably Beck as well] China: So you're just going to list every random loser in school for what? America: 😐 America: & you're gonna kid yourself that there's not at least 3 boys on there hotter than Jake America: get out of your fucking ⬛ China: it's not JUST about hot though, is it China: it's all the rest America: what else has Jake got? China: He's cool America: he's not cool enough to throw a party for you America: you're bored China: I am bored right now America: What's the point of Gaz if he doesn't take her anywhere anymore? America: why's she not bored? China: Yeah get this China: they're talking about redecorating America: what.the.fuck. China: I know China: it's looked like this our entire lives because she can't afford it China: now he thinks he can come in and whitewash everything America: remember when that one before offered to put up a roll of wallpaper and she looked at him like he said he wanted to beat you to death with it America: she'd let Gary kill us China: say goodbye to live laugh love China: it'll be RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT America: he needs to fuck off or I am China: Where to China: no one's got a sofa comfy enough or the desire to do any more than offer a night America: I know plenty of people I can get to desire me China: 🖕 China: not falling for it again so soon America: no 🕷🕸 America: they're not people I want, I didn't say that China: That's not a solution, again China: this is our house China: and our mam China: we need to sort it America: I know China: I can't think around them though China: I need to get out America: meet me [wherever the hell she is rn] China: Okay China: as I have nowhere else to be rn America: bring me a jacket China: assuming you've got one left after his tantrum China: that WILL be resumed, when you're relocated 🙄 America: if he's that desperate to text me China: He's that desperate to shout 'til he looks like a 🍅 America: 😋🤤 China: If you liked it or him at all, you'd be here America: I'm waiting here for you America: with ☕ China: I'm on my way America: I'll text Jake to be here & 🏃👌 China: You will not America: you wanna see him & you're not gonna hit send China: Because I have dignity, I don't know why that's a foreign concept to you China: and I don't even want to see him America: you do, you're losing it that he doesn't wanna see you China: Don't be dramatic on my behalf China: and getting my little sister to beg for me, that's hardly going to win anyone over America: I was gonna pretend to be you China: Ha! China: I'd love to see that, not America: party trick America: if we ever have one again China: If anyone wants to come by the time we've worked this out, it'll be a miracle America: it is getting 🥱 China: Seriously China: not getting aired for no reason America: you should listen to me about nan America: have one there China: The only person who would have a party at their nans house is Libi Foley America: it is mint there China: 🙄 America: it is China: Why? She got a trampoline? 👌 America: getting low if you're getting jealous America: [but whatever pics or vids we have from being there however many times we have like] China: I don't know what you reckon is cool in [whatever year they're in] these days America: her 🏠 America: some of her friends America: but I think I scared her off China: Well forget her China: She thinks she's something special but she's so not America: you're not describing her China: Sure China: If she's making you feel shitty she's hardly the 😇 everyone thinks she is America: how did you twist it to be her fault from what I said? America: 🤯 China: You aren't scary, she can't hang America: she didn't have you green lighting her on what cool is America: that's why I can China: She's super immature America: that shit must fly cos she's super well liked too China: With other people on your list, maybe America: you know she's got friends on friends, we don't have to downplay it America: it's not gonna make us feel a new way about any of the 💩 going on China: Literally why are we talking about her China: I've got so much more on my mind America: You brought her up to veto nan's house as a party place America: cos you don't want her to hate you too China: It isn't a party place, she's an old lady China: that would be so lame China: she doesn't have a boyfriend, where are we sending her? America: bingo America: use Zsa's flat then, she has a boyfriend, he's all she ever talks about China: Her tiny one bed China: I could have a few main people, potentially America: Princess and the pea isn't a sexy story America: if you're gonna kick it like that with Jake he will fuck Lucie in the PE block China: That's his prerogative if he wants to catch herpes America: everything doesn't have to be perfect America: you 🔊 like Gary China: If Asia is going to stop talking to me, it needs to at least be worth it America: you could trash the place and she'd think she did it 🔎 for her fake gucci belt China: 🙄 China: at least we don't have to worry about her man lasting America: ✂️💖 China: I don't know why they do it America: what are you doing with Jake? China: I'm not China: not like them America: I don't believe you China: Well first off, he's actually decent looking and cool China: and that's the difference China: Gary isn't, and whatshisname isn't either China: and I'm not throwing myself at him America: he isn't cool to me America: if it was so different you'd care about that China: How is he not? America: 🤡 China: What the hell does that mean? America: he thinks he's funny and he's not China: You don't have to think he is China: you're not interested and he's not interested in you China: that's a bit different to Gary fucking up our lives and taking over our mam America: he doesn't need to talk about me ever then China: I'm sure he won't...? America: 😐 China: He's not talking about either of us right now America: 🎊🎉 China: Happy for you America: I'd be happy for you if you used the Gary situation to get a boyfriend who's less of a dick China: Like who? China: [list boys from that list] China: LOL America: 🖕 America: [because we know the boy she likes is on that list honey] China: Who do you fancy then? America: dream on, shady bitch America: I'm not revealing my secrets now China: 😂 China: Omg go on China: I'll work it out America: if Gaz keeps treating me like a little girl without the choking, spitting in my mouth or giving me euros to spend, it's not gonna matter America: he'll think I'm immature China: You're such a dick China: but he's older then China: narrows it down America: as old as you, not as old as daddy Gary China: Well I can work out who it isn't then America: you've got other shit to prioritise China: You should get a boyfriend your own age America: I'm not getting one China: When you do, then America: when I do I won't be doing a poll of our year America: he's fun that's why I like him America: the 2 years aren't what's making me 🤤 China: What's fun mean America: he can hang China: I know who it is America: happy for you China: He's okay, I guess China: if you like that sort of thing America: what the hell does that mean? China: He's a bit China: but if you like him America: a bit? China: Annoying China: but you don't have to see him around school America: I thought you had a real concern! China: I'm not mam, we've still got one China: I just don't think he's cute but he's not like, the worst China: I don't know why he hangs around with who he does though, maybe he's weird America: Jake is who you think is cute & cool so 🤫 China: He's the hottest boy in my year China: who isn't like, the preppy sporty type America: & he acts like it America: talking down to everyone China: You're dramatic America: 😐 America: he is, behaving like 👑 China: You're acting like I'm married to him, for starters China: we were never even officially going out America: cos he wants to fuck around & find out who else is 🤤 China: He can do what he likes America: with Lucie & you won't care at.all. China: 🖕 America: me getting 🍆 could bring mam out of her coma China: If she finds out before Gary China: that might actually be a decent way to look into it China: 'cos clearly, 👑 has failed to save us all America: 👌 I'll do what I can China: all you have to do is heavily hint you are, in the 0.2 milliseconds he leaves her alone America: I'll stand on the 🚽 while she's 🛁 China: Take a piss test China: that should trigger the fear response America: they're expensive America: be going in Gaz's wallet again China: nah, you can get them for a euro in dealz China: market for the skanky slags like Lucie, duh America: I'll go after school tomorrow, he won't be leaving her alone tonight after ✂👖 China: Ew China: I'm definitely finding somewhere else to be America: seconded China: This is ridiculous China: Nan's going to get fed up of us crashing at hers America: that day came a month in China: but like, fed up to the point he'll talk her out of letting us because we should 'be at home' or whatever the fuck China: 🕠 running out America: What a flirty little game of 🐈 & 🐁 America: game on, Gaz China: 🙄 China: We've got no choice so, yeah America: Where are you gonna go? China: 🤷 China: I don't know America: come with me China: Where are you going? America: When you've got nowhere else, 3rd degree questioning's pointless China: Why is it hard to answer a question? America: I don't have an answer yet China: Right China: well, whatever then America: whatever yes or whatever no? China: So you need a dedicated answer, do you? China: You invited me, shouldn't make any difference if I do or don't come, as you've got no idea where you're going America: & you think my pretend babydaddy is annoying China: He very literally is China: if you wanna talk about thinking you're funny, Jesus America: he has a basis for it America: he's got jokes that aren't about what every girl at school looks like China: He's got adhd China: I think America: When he said he was on 💊s not what I thought he meant China: He must have it bad he's so twitchy still China: and he never shuts up China: which is probably why he's friends with the deaf kid America: I take it back, you and Jake are well suited 🤡 China: What? That's not a joke China: it just makes literal sense China: he's so loud America: You're being a dick China: Oh I am not China: it's not like I'm saying it to his face America: you know I like his face & you're saying it to me China: Well you know I like Jake and you're being a dick about him so in that case, we'd be even America: he can help having a shitty personality, that's not the same as an adhd diagnosis China: okay then China: an excuse to have prescribed speed America: what's your excuse for not calling the deaf kid by his name? China: Why does it matter? China: You knew who I meant America: it matters that you're back in your 🏰 China: 🙄 Shut up China: again, not talking to him, just you America: no shit, you don't talk to anyone outside of your ⬛ America: just me China: We're sisters so China: we have to talk, so sorry America: I know how to do a smoky eye & take a drink, that's your main criteria for what a cool girl is China: You wish America: it's not something I'm prioritising pre or post Gary America: you're stuck with me anyway China: And you're stuck with me China: at the minute, that's basically all we've got China: Zsa is literally not taking it in, no surprise there China: and nan is drinking the kool-aid on him now so America: I'll bring mam back with my 🤰 it'll be fine China: **fake 🤰 America: I assumed that was clear cos of having no real 🍆 inside of me before tomorrow America: Gary probably doesn't want to kiss & make up like that, I'm only 12 China: What do you mean tomorrow? America: assuming I do the test in front of her then China: Don't require you to actually do the deed, idiot China: s'all fake, we don't need you to go have a fake abortion, Jesus America: I'm just saying we don't need to waste time typing out a distinction like **fake when it's obvious China: Don't be a twat, I was just saying China: you're so bloody pedantic today, my God America: Don't be putting some kind of tempting fate 🤰 hex on me before I've even done anything with any boys China: Don't be a little slag and nothing will happen China: not going to be me or fate doing anything about it, you're in control America: right now Gary is America: 🚫🍆 China: It's about more than that America: I know China: You don't get it America: What don't I get? China: I've lost loads of friends China: maybe all of them America: you'll get them back the parties are America: when* China: yeah America: I'm fixing it China: **WE are America: did you save my 👖? China: Yea China: I put a load of washing on China: so now you're gonna owe me a thank you China: didn't know what else to do, he likes pitting us against each other I reckon America: I bought you ☕ ungrateful bitch China: UM, I meant you're going to owe me a grovelling thank you arselick because Gary says so China: I'm behaving and you're not, right now, cheeky cow China: anyway, I'm nearly there so don't fucking bin it America: I'll put washing on when my newborn is sleeping China: Fucking hell 😂 China: It's tragic, isn't it China: I can't think of anything more tragic China: poor mam China: poor nan America: how old do you have to be before they let you get sterilised? China: Oh, so old China: tell 'em you want to live off the state forever and have 14 of 'em and maybe they'll change their fucking mind America: Gary would do it for me if he was any fucking use China: If you ever really get pregnant, the botched abortion would do it America: I'll pitch the idea to my 1st boyfriend China: Good luck America: we're in the right place 🍀 China: Are we? China: Doesn't feel like it America: for a backstreet foetus killing scheme anyway China: Whatever brightside, I guess America: you sound as tired as I feel America: how early did he wake you? I think it was still fully dark out China: I swear, only solid he's done me China: loads of time to do a full hair and make-up routine America: What classes do you even have with Jake? Like 2 China: Oh, so now just 'cos I don't want to look like a bag of shit that's all about him too? China: Are you sure YOU aren't like them? China: Ugh America: you don't look like 💩 America: it's about him if you suddenly think you do China: I don't think that I just China: I'm not winning anyone back 'round if I do America: it's about the lack of parental supervision not your lack of split ends America: on every level you know that China: It is not China: that's a big part of it, but it is not all of it America: if it's not all of it where are they all? China: There's plenty of boys who care about pretty China: even if Jake isn't one of them China: if I have a desirable boyfriend, that's fucking something America: Jake does care about pretty, that's his main priority America: & why he's a dick to me China: You should've said China: you fancy him America: I'd fuck Gary before him, you delusional cow China: Ha, okay China: you're the one who's so hung up on how he treats you China: I'm so sorry he doesn't fancy you back but I'm actually not because you know I like him America: cos I want you to give a shit that your not boyfriend is like bullying me China: Wow, bullying now, really? America: you're asking for me to throw this ☕ at you China: I won't even come if you're going to be this China: melodramatic China: what do you mean bullying you? America: I mean every party you've thrown he's said something unnecessary to me China: Can you be more specific or America: can you not take my fucking word for it? China: Well not really China: like, if he's just made some passing comments it's not really bullying, is it America: 😐 America: 👌 make excuses for him & keep telling me you're doing things different China: For God's sake China: since when are you so sensitive? America: I've kept my mouth shut until literally now China: As you said, literally, he's joking America: I'm tired & I've typed the name Jake more times than I've ever wanted to China: You can't just accuse people of shit they haven't done China: if it was that simple, we'd say Gary was touching us and ta-da, problem solved America: I'll go down that route if the 🤰 fails China: It's not a fucking joke China: fuck this America: it is if you think I'm living like this for the next 6 years minimum China: You think 4 makes it any more palatable? America: telling a lie to get rid of him is the least of what I'm prepared to do China: I can't think straight right now China: save your ☕ I'm gonna go somewhere else America: Chi China: It's fine America: you're basically here China: I'm going China: I've got plans now America: you do not China: I do now America: with who? China: None of your business America: with who China: Who do you think China: happy now? America: what.the.fuck. China: Leave it alone America: Have you been talking to him all along? China: No, actually China: though I'm sure you won't believe me America: can't believe a word any of you say America: I hope he gives you herpes China: Nice America: You're not, why should I? China: You started this China: and for your information, I've never slept with him, or anyone else America: I did NOT China: then you got in my head America: not on purpose China: I've got my own life America: that wasn't in question China: I don't need your pity America: I don't feel sorry for you China: Good America: I'm fine too, thanks for asking China: You've got friends, who don't just use you for parties China: as you've been so keen to rub in America: & you're calling me over sensitive China: Joke all you lie China: k* America: you think Jake's are better China: Yeah, I do America: 👌🍆😗 China: Jealous much America: LOL China: Enjoy pining after Tweak America: 🖕 China: Enjoy your evening, that's my plan America: talk yourself into it harder America: maybe you will China: 👌🍆😗 America: 🤮🤮🤮 China: I'm not faking a pregnancy America: Lucie's not fake swallowing China: Ugly girls have more to prove America: you 🔊 like Jake America: he'll be excited as hell China: yeah he will America: 🎊🎉 he can stop trying to suck his own dick 🥳 China: you're just a kid China: let me know where you end up, Zsa's or nan's China: and I'll take the other 👌 America: you can take either cos I'm doing neither China: You know what, fine China: I shouldn't be the one doing this America: What this do you mean? Whoring yourself out to Jake or pretending you care what I'm going to do China: Looking after you China: are any of them in your messages? doubt it China: he's got no right and he goes too far but at least he'll be giving a shit where you are America: I don't need tabs kept on me, I'm going to MJ's not to 🍆 or 💊💉 China: 👍 America: I had a feeling Gaz wouldn't be stepping up to make 🍝 China: I can thank him for the diet too America: he'll be thrilled to hear about the 🍆😗 part of it China: I'm not planning to regale him with it China: 'cos not tempting an assault tah America: Mam & Zsa will have more useful tips China: I don't need them China: thank God America: just Jake telling you what he likes 💖 China: Piss off America: 🏰👑💖 China: Yeah, really feel it America: he'll make you feel really good about yourself China: What would you know about it, Ricky? America: it's what you want him for, I know that China: Why wouldn't I want that? China: Just because you've not had it ever America: Why can't you get it from someone else? China: Because I like Jake China: end of America: 😐 China: and every girl but you does too America: [lists all the girls that don't aka the lesbians, other girls he has shaded and girls like libi who are shamelessly in love with someone else/have boyfriends they care about even a little bit] China: 🙄🙄 China: You've got too much time on your hands China: not going to list every girl that does China: you know who I meant and that it's true America: I just spent a decade I won't get back waiting for you China: I wasn't about to come to MJ's and beg for food with you so America: I didn't invite you there, it's where I'm going now since you're on a Jake's jizz diet China: Don't be gross America: It's you who likes him 🤢 China: It's you who keeps talking about his dick China: like, stop America: I'm desensitising you America: so you can bear to look at & touch it China: I don't need that America: then this is me 🤫 China: 👍 China: Thanks China: Guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, or just before, pretending we've been 🛏 or purposely showing we're just coming in China: who knows what will be more effective in the AM America: you do one, I'll try the other China: Yeah China: know which one you'd prefer China: I'm not playing nice so you don't have to, like I always have America: you weren't playing when it was just you & mammy America: neither was I China: She was fun China: before America: I know China: What's not to like America: as her favourite, you would say that China: 🙄 America: & it doesn't matter who she was America: she's a zombie now China: we'll get her back America: What's the cure for swallowing Gary's bodily fluids? China: She's had worse China: equally as bad America: built up immunity China: There's no immunity to shitty men America: as you've proven China: pot kettle America: I don't like Jake, you're deluded China: I wasn't talking about him, moron America: 🖕 China: No, he seems like SUCH a cool, chill guy America: you'd be a shady bitch whatever you think he's like cos you're mad I don't wanna hop on Jake's 🍆 China: Yeah, SO mad China: you're twisted China: and delusional if you think it'd be any kind of competition America: you admitted you want me to be jealous & that his appeal is everyone likes him so yeah America: your priorities are twisted China: When did I? America: read any of this chat back China: 👍 Good one China: I really don't care what you think China: your taste is clearly trash America: I'd follow your ☕ into the bin but it'll make me late for 🍝 China: 😱 China: Can't have that China: I'm waiting for my bus, talk later America: 👋
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dreams-of-wings · 5 years ago
Text
Impossible (7/8)
Imagine Billy Hargrove with a Mixed/Biracial SO
Warnings: SEASON 3 SPOILERS, Swearing, mild violence, angst.
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The rest of the week flies by, with Billy weaning himself away from hanging out with Tommy and Carol and more to hanging out with you.
Billy actually learned a couple things that just barely helped him scrape by on his tests.
You passed with flying colors of course.
Now y'all are in the "real world"
Billy snags a summer job as a life guard.
You got a job at the hospital as a patient escort (the hours ain't bad, and it pays good).
You visit Billy at the pool sometimes, and you both still hang out on weekends.
Tommy and Carol don't hang around him anymore (because popularity status from high school no longer matters).
You're trying to help Billy move out of his house, but getting a place of your own isn't easy, so you manage to convince your parents to let him move in with you guys.
He has to stay in the guest room and pay rent though, obviously.
Billy still hasn't moved in yet though because he wants to save a bit of money before he has to worry about paying bills.
It's a smart idea and you support him.
For the most part your Summer is just working, hanging out with friends after work, and juggling the kids (Will, Dustin till he goes to summer camp, Mike, Lucas, and Max. You don't worry about Eleven because she isn't really allowed out of her house).
One day when the kids are all hanging out at your place, Billy walks in and treats the place like he lives there.
Just walks in grabs the milk from your fridge and makes himself a bowl of Cereal, before sitting in a stool by your kitchens island.
Thay all just kinda stare at him for a moment in silence.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
Billy just rolls his eyes and finishes his bowl before getting up to go to the bathroom.
"Ah, ah! Put it in the sink!" You just happen to walk past to grab something from your parents room.
He doesn't fuss, throw a fit, or even act remotely annoyed. He just back tracks and put the bowl in the sink, filling it with warm water before continuing on his way.
Once you both are out of ear shot, Lucas mentions how he's glad the two of you are dating, because Billy's gotten a whole lot better. He's still an ass, but old Billy would have tried to scare the shit out of the kids for fun just for staring at him. New Billy was just annoyed.
Max acts like she's disgusted, not at the idea of the two of you being together, but just because Billy is her brother and she's just grossed out by the thought of him with anyone really.
"They are not dating!"
"They totally are, did you not see the way they just interacted!" Mike is whisper yelling.
"Yeah, it was actually kinda..." Lucas shrugged and looked at Mike.
"Domestic," Mike found the word Lucas was looking for.
"Nu-uh! Billy's just moving in, so he should know house rules by now." Max tried to justify what just happened, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, before sitting back into the couch with a huff.
"That statement really doesn't help your case."
"Trust us, they're dateing."
"Who's dating?" You walk in just then.
"No one!" "Mike and Eleven!" "Max and Lucas!" They all had conflicting answers to your question.
You just raised a brow in confusion at them.
At that moment Billy steps out with his red duffle bag and heads out for work, "Forgot I left my stuff here the other night," he explains as he passes you to the door.
The kids all look at each other, 'The other night?'
"Okay, there's leftovers in the fridge!" You call as he opens the door.
Billy pauses again and backtracks, closing the door, going to the fridge, and opening it. He paused for a moment as if searching, and then he pulls out a Tupperware container with last night's dinner in it, before putting it in his duffle and heading out again, "Thanks," he opens the door, "See you later!"
"See you!" You turn and look back at the kids, "Sorry, what were you saying?"
They kinda just stare at you gobsmacked.
"Nothing."
The kids actually make it there mission for a while to prove to Max that the two of you are together, but all they succeed in doing is getting caught and threatened by Billy to "Fuck off" and "take your sick jokes elsewhere." He doesn't appreciate peeping toms, especially when they're peeping at him.
Still kinda the same old Billy, just much less dramatic.
You notice something's up with Billy though after he gets attacked by the Mind Flyer.
He seems paranoid, tense, and almost bipolar.
You ask him constantly about it when you see him, and at first he tells you its nothing.
You thought his dad found out about him trying to leave because now he doesn't come around your house anymore.
You still see him at the pool, and he'll stop by, but he never stays.
He becomes awkward in conversations, like he's there, but not completely.
You wonder if he's depressed.
Then he starts avoiding you all together after Heather goes missing (of course you didn't know that she'd gone missing).
When you manage to corner him at the pool, Billy seems to revert back to his old High School self.
He's rude and tells you he wants you to stay away from him.
You're honestly really hurt now because you've made so much progress.
He was supposed to be moving in for gods sake.
Little do you know he's just trying to protect you.
You're the last person he wants to hurt.
He's already hurt one of his coworkers.
He almost hurt Mrs. Wheeler.
But you don't know about her.
When the kids try to spy on Billy, your house is the first place they go to.
Max has been sleeping over at Elevens house the past few nights, so she doesn't know he's been actively ghosting you.
"I dont know, he's avoiding me."
They of course thought that was weird, just a few days ago he seemed so comfortable in this house and around you, and suddenly he's giving you the cold shoulder?
"Did you guys get into a fight?" Max is concerned now because she's really hoping Billy is not the host. They're looking for Billy to do very un-Billy things as proof, and this- thus us very un-Billy.
"No, one day he was fine, then the next he acts like he doesn't want to talk to me if he doesn't have to, and now he's avoiding me all together!" You're actually getting very frustrated now.
"Do you guys know something? Did something happen? Is Billy okay?"
"No nothing," You still dont know about what's been going on the past year or so. You weren't there when they caught off the Demigorgon and you weren't there for the fall of the Mind Flyr either. They had to keep it a secret, "Max just noticed he hadn't been around you lately."
"Friends don't lie," Eleven doesn't like that they were hiding Billy's life being in danger. If something happens to him, you would be hurt, and it would partially be their fault for not telling you the truth.
They try to keep Eleven quiet.
Spoiler, it doesn't work.
So they have to tell you everything that's happened since Will disappeared.
You didn't believe them at first of course, but then Eleven shows you her powers and you start to second guess yourself.
It would at least explain Billy's sudden odd behavior, and why Will acted strange after he returned.
Of course you had always blaimed it on PTSD since you didn't know what the kid had truly been through.
Now you see it's much worse than you could have imagined.
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So now your in on the madness.
The next place the kids go is the pool.
Shocker, he's there.
"Its too hot outside to be wearing a long sleeve," is your contribution to their debate on whether or not Billy seems like Billy right now.
"True, but light color cloths make it a bit cooler."
Also true.
None of you could see from this distance, that Billy us sweating buckets right now.
But at least the sun isn't hitting him directly, so he skin won't burn and give him another lesion.
The boys are talking about their plan, but your too lost I thought watching Billy to notice them leave you, Max, and Eleven behind.
It was odd to think that this person you were watching wasn't really Billy. He looked like Billy, but he didn't act or think like him.
When the boys come back then fill you in on the plan.
For the most part you're just hiding with Max, but you will come in handy if the real Billy is still in there somewhere.
You show yourself alongside Max.
Billy pauses for a second, like his mind is trying to comprehend that you're a part of this.
"Why?" He actually looks vulnerable and his voice sounds broken, till it slowly contorts into a look of anger and he starts banging o the door.
Your a little unnerved.
And your having flashbacks from back in High School when you and Billy still didn't get along.
He doesn't understand why this is happening to him.
Everything was going great.
He had a job.
He was working on getting out of his father's house.
And he actually felt like he had someone he could trust.
Then you had to go and do this to him.
That's when it occured to him.
He's been treating you like shit these past few days.
And he's done terrible things
Maybe he deserves this.
That's when he screams in frustration, anger, and sadness, before he starts sobbing.
"Its not my fault...."
"Please."
"I'm sorry."
"I didn't mean to."
He's pleading to you and Max with a broken voice and a broken spirit.
For once Billy looks the way he's always felt on the inside.
Desperate, alone, and afraid.
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
"It's not my fault, I promise you."
You're the first to approach the door, and Max follows right behind you as she begins to question Billy.
"He made me do it."
When Max questioned him about who "he" was and what "he" made him do, Billy seemed to retreat into himself more.
The sight broke your heart.
After high school, Billy seemed better, and after he started slowly getting away from his father he actually seemed more confident- and not that fake ass peacocking he didn't in school either, like actual confidence.
But now he was fighting something he couldn't get away from.
He slowly lays down on the floor and continues to beg and plead.
He can't even say what he's done.
You almost open the door, till Mike and Eleven stop you.
Your almost on the verge of tears.
"He's my friend....."
"That's not Billy," Mike says sternly.
"He's hurt," you're trying to get them to let you open the door.
But you stop when Will tells you he can feel "him."
Mike backs of first and tells you and Max to get away from the door.
You're confused at first, but you see Billy just as he comes for the window with the piece of tile.
You push yourself away from the door, and take Max with you, saving her from being hurt by the thing posing as her bother.
When Billy manages to get out and starts hurting the kids, you call out to him.
He stops to look at you and you can see the real Billy in his eyes and in his lip that quivers slightly at the edges.
When El starts throwing him around the room all you and Max can do is hold eachother.
Billy had changed, and you all had gotten so close, and now you have to watch someone you have come to love get hurt.
It breaks your heart to see how desperately he wants to fight this thing. He's always tense, like he's trying to hold his body back, and the tear that trails down his face tells you that again, he's so sorry for what he's doing right now.
You're relieved when he runs off because it means that he can't hurt the kids, and they can't hurt him anymore.
Max is glad she at least has you with her.
Sure she has Lucas, but her friends never really liked Billy, so they don't understand why she cares so much.
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You go to the hospital with the kids when Nancy and Jonathan take them along.
You pose as Mrs. Driscoll's grandchild as well.
It was terrifying seeing a pile of gore come to life and chase your friends down.
After you all got back to Eleven's house, you can't stop pacing up and down, and you're just making Max more on edge.
I mean who could blame you though.
Those guys at the hospital who turned to mush were under that monsters control, so what was keeping it from doing the same thing to Billy?
What if he dies a horrible painful death? And you can't be there with him?
Max tries to reassure you that everything will be alright.
After all, they've beaten this thing before.
Though it does sound more like she's trying to convince herself more than she is trying to convince you.
You sit down when Max and Mike get into an argument about Eleven. Honestly, after the night you've had, you've just realized how physically, emotionally, and mentally drained you are. You didn't even think you've slept in almost 24 hours - the kids came to your house, you went with them to the pool, you watched Billy till the end of the day when his shift ended, trapt him in the sauna (mind you it was already dark when the Sauna Test went down), craziness happened, went to Eleven's place so she could find Hopper and they could fill him in on what's going on (because apparently the Sharif is in on this madness too), and that's when Nancy and Jonathan arrived with their information on Mrs. Driscoll, and now your here.
Maybe it's been a little more than 24 hours... Perhaps you should lay down...
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Meanwhile, Billy is off doing God knows what.
He's trapt in his own mind - completely aware of what's happening but he's unable to do anything about it.
This monster has taken control of him from the inside and the first few days it at least seemed like he had some semblance of control - like he was driving and the monster was sitting in the back seat telling him what to do. Of course at that point he didn't have to listen, but then it started showing him things. It migrated to shotgun and started messing with the steering wheel.
Now it just feels like it's in the driver's seat, but he's bound and gagged in the back passenger seat where he can at least see everything.
It was hard hurting those kids. He had promised Max he would never hurt her friends again, and honestly, because of you he and his little sister had grown closer, and he's actually been relatively happy. He had just been starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Hawkins wasn't so bad and he could stay.
Then shit hit the fan.
He had never seen you so afraid of him in the time he has known you. Not even when you both didn't get along in high school. Back then, you had more of a rebellious fire in your eyes, and no matter what he did to try and snuff it- to make you afraid of him, it only seemed to feed the fire. But back in the sauna...you looked petrified, unsure, on edge, afraid.
Ironic how now that he desperately wants to protect you and Max, you're both can't trust him.
Why is he like this?
Why does he always screw things up?
His mom left him.
His dad hates him.
He was a fuck up all throughout school.
He had shitty friends who, let's be honest, weren't really even his friends.
He hurt- maybe even indirectly killed his coworker.
He almost killed Karen. Oh God, Mrs. Wheeler. He regrets trying to get her to meet him at the hotel. He doesn't even have feelings for her - he just thought she was hot and wanted to get laid, and by an older woman at that. In fact, he had been on his way to meet her when he was attacked.
And now he's probably lost you and Max.
He feels utterly and terribly alone.
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When you wake up, it's to the sound of El screaming. She's freaking out because of the vision she just had of talking to Billy.
The conversation about what she just saw was very sobering. You are wide awake now that the possibility of death looms over you, and the sound of screeching from the approaching monster in the distance doesn't help.
It found you.
You all get the house ready - shut the windows, close the blinds, block off possible openings and stand back to back.
You would feel much safer in a basement.
When it comes through the windows, you help Jonathan fight it off to the best of your ability, but you both end up getting thrown around the room.
Thank whatever supernatural being put El on this earth, because you all would have died without her.
Fast forward to you all going to Starcourt Mall
You help Eleven walk because she's injured, and since Steve isn't here, you're mom now.
Apparently everyone was somehow already on to fishy stuff happening? But what do Russians have to do with anything?
You're so worried about El, that bite looks bad. Like, infected bad, but it can't have been more than an hour or two since she got it, so it can't have progressed that quick.
You know something isn't right.
And you are proven correct when you see something wriggling around in the wound.
Props to El, for being so strong when Johnathan tried to remove that nasty thing, and then removing it herself.
They would have had to knock you the fuck out first if that were you- all the nope.
You all know what happens.
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Part 8 will hopefully be the end. Idk we'll see, maybe I will get carried away and make it too long and then their will be 9 lol.
Like I did with this imagine. It was only supposed to be one part, but here we are going on 8.
I apologize for this part following season 3 so closely. As you all can tell I like to at least try and make my own content so it doesn't just feel like you're reading the show, and I think my struggles reflect on this part a bit. I have seen season 3 at least 4 times now because I was trying to find a way do this without just basically rewriting the season with the reader patched into it, but it was either this, have the reader just kinda loose contact with Billy and then find out he's "dead" (my denial is showing), or have reader become one of the flayed (let's be honest, not much would probably go on there). Plus this option has the most angst I feel.
Hope y'all are ready for the angst in the next part.
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