candythepuppy

[candythepuppy]

Soulmates AU where soulmates have the same fingerprints. You are called in for a police investigation; not because you're a suspect, but because your soulmate's fingerprints were found at the scene of the crime and they need your bond to track them down.

[candythepuppy]

Guys I came up with another fanfic idea while at work again. 😭

(Monster x Death Note)

Basically, a worldwide news station pops out of nowhere and announces it has been exactly one year since L died and that the current L is a fraud. This mysterious broadcaster then goes on to reveal the truth behind pretty much everything. Using info only L himself could have gathered (mysterious) plus even more small little details L had missed (trust me, I've compiled a list), this broadcaster reveals that Light is Kira. And then as Light is at his most panicked and enraged, the mysterious broadcaster reveals himself: a beautiful blond (who appears no older than 25 despite later revealed to be over 30. Also suspicious.) with the most psychopathic eyes and unbothered smile, deliberately puts his name out there on the heir for all to see. "Johan Leibert," it reads. However, when Light writes it down, nothing happens.

The now unfiltered voice and face of the broadcaster smiles as he points at his forehead, staring the camera down. Now, he speaks directly to Kira. "Do you know how to kill a Shikigami?... Would you like to try?"

After the broadcast ends, Light's mom and sister are dead at home. Shot. Light flees the country with Misa to track down the guy who just ruined his wonderful plans. The only clues he starts with being the mysterious news station stationed in Europe plus the broadcaster's strange connection to L, somehow having access to all the information from his case (we all know how much Johan loves orphanages~). And Light's dad is so distraught by this turn of events it becomes his only goal to track down and bring his son to justice, then write his own name in his death note because he's so darn tired of all this crap.

Plus literally the whole world is after Light now and there are only a few cult-like followers backing him at this point.

On Johan's end, basically he WANTS to die, but, since a Shikigami fell in love with him and changed fate so that Johan wouldn't die, he's forced to live for who knows how long. (Idk if it's canon in death note but in this fic at least the only way to kill someone with an extended lifespan would be with another death note.) And anyways so even Johan doesn't know his real name since he didn't actually hear when Dr. Tenma told him it. So he's hoping that by poking the brilliant Kira down from his throne, he can get Kira/Light to do the dirty work in finding out what his REAL name is and finally puting an end to his life. Which is predictably what Light aims to do.

And as you can imagine, shenanigans ensue.

No way am I writing this fic, tho, I have too many already. 💀

Maybe if I post this tho one of you brilliant saps will write it for me.

[candythepuppy]

[candythepuppy]

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING BANNED FROM TALKING ON EVERY APP, BRO!?! 😭😭😭

I mean what could I even be SAYING??

I swear, if it's AI Sukuna getting revenge for aborting his child--it was a PRANK, bro! A PRANK!

[candythepuppy]

Dentists should ask for consent before chiseling down your vampire teeth to appear more "normal," because it's been a decade now and I STILL feel betrayed.

[candythepuppy]

Story time:

So one of my little sisters got herself a Zelda Breath of The Wild game, yeh? And she's been playing it off and on for a couple months now, getting all that gear, doing side quests and crap.

Well,

another of my little sisters, the slightly older one, started the game just today on the other's console and stuff.

And you know how the game starts out with Link waking up completely shirtless and alone in a cave, yeh? Well I come back thirty or so minutes later and he's no longer in a cave nor alone, but still shirtless.

"Isn't he supposed to have a shirt by now?" I ask, having never played the game myself.

"Yeah he has one already. Just (middle child) hasn't put it on him yet." The owner of the game sits on the couch watching the older one play.

.... We both wait for a response from the other sister, but she says nothing.

A couple hours later, I return to find said sister is now decently into the game, equipped with quite a bit of gear now. And yet Link is still shirtless.

"Still no shirt, huh?" I ask as both gamer sisters watch the shirtless man climb the cliff.

"Yeahhh, she just likes seeing him shirtless." The younger one sighs. Again, there is complete silence from the middle child, which is honestly strange since usually she'd be jumping in to defend herself by now.

"Heh, not even going to defend yourself?" I grin at the middle child, who is playing on the big TV in the living room btw.

She stops climbing, turns the camera around, and zooms in on Link's chest. "Do I really NEED to defend myself? Man's fine as heck."

And honestly I was too astonished to say anything.

[candythepuppy]

I'm bored.

Hey, kids, u wanna read one of my 5-thousand fanfics?

Mature for violence/gore, not sexual stuff. Wish Wattpad would let you specify.

It's basically a "whAt iF DeKu bEcaMe a hEro wHiLe stilL BeiNg qUirkLesS? 🤪" fanfic but with the plot taken a lot more seriously than it honestly should be 😅

[candythepuppy]

There is a very thin line between me faking stupidity for a joke and genuinely not knowing the simplest of things.

[candythepuppy]

Something to think about this Christmas:

The three kings used their wealth of wisdom and riches to seek-out baby Jesus. Meanwhile, the shepherds were sought-out by angels and invited to visit the child.

Which group would you liken yourself to more?

[candythepuppy]

If I ever get a male ginger cat, I'm naming him Baguette.

If he has a sister, I'm naming her Croissant.

[candythepuppy]

I feel like Maomao would say "remedeez nuts" at least once if she was in contact with English culture.

[candythepuppy]

Just thought of a MHA oc out of nowhere.

Hero/Villain name: Brainrot

Quirk: Memory Swap - by touching someone's head, they can swap someone's memory with one of their own, though the memories need to be equal in size.

By simply swapping important memories -- such as those of key events and or passwords -- with brainrot memes, Brainrot is able to take whatever they need without having to worry about losing anything important. This fits in well with their lifestyle of consuming brainrot media on a daily basis.

[candythepuppy]

Trans people mid-transition be like: "Fools! This isn't even my FiNaL fOrM!"

[candythepuppy]

Think I've said this before, but I really love commenting the most Asexual things on suggestive/baiting fan-art. I feel like my aura increases every time I say "nice lighting" while everyone around me is frothing at the mouth.

[candythepuppy]

Someone should do a study on the difference between people who make really pretty graffiti art vs. people who make ugly, don't-care graffiti that ruins the pretty stuff, just to see if there is a link between creativity and hope for the future. At least in some sense.

[candythepuppy]

hey so when a tree branch drops do you think the trees react like it's a sh*t?

thump!

"oh dang that's a BIG one!"

"WHOO BOAH!"

"ew... get that thing away from me.."

or do you think it's like losing a limb?

thump!

"F**********CK!"

"what the heck, Charlie- OH WHAT THE!?!"

"NOBODY PANIC! NOBODY MOVE!

"HOLY F*CKING SH*T IT HURTS!"

"OH MY GOD IT'S STILL PHOTOSYNTHESISING!... I'm going to hurl.."

[candythepuppy]

sour