#like in general i dont like how he talks abt me!! oh well ill see him in hell where all's fair play 😏🤭

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[portokali]

i haaate the way my dad talks abt me to strangers always pointing out how im older than i look he goes she looks 16 but is actually almost 26.. im still 25 tho its not even near my bday and when i was 24 he would say shes 25 why does he want to make me older than i actually am what is his game 🤢🤢🤢

[lizzyaka]

I hadn't seen your blog since ages!!! And I really do love your takes because they are so different from others (and sometimes me too)

I did make a post about that Bunny wasn't sad about the farmer dying. It is how I interpreted it from the book. I do think Bunny was gonna eventually tell the police about it. I just don't necessarily think it was because he felt bad for the farmer's death. It was HIS friends who killed the farmer and that's what made him feel so guilty and go down the spiral.

If he was in the bacchanal with them and they had all accidentally killed the farmer, Bunny's not the type of person to turn himself in. He WOULD have done the same. He would have tried to save himself. He wouldn't have minded then if the farmer had died because he himself was involved in it

Even if this a hypothetical situation as you said, we don't know how Bunny will react to it.

It is clear he is more human than all the others and more capable of feeling remorse and empathy. But that doesn't mean in a situation where he is going to jail, he won't try to cover it up.

He will definitely feel more guilty than all the others did

They just went "oh well, what can we do"

Bunny would have eventually spilled the beans because of the humanity in him. Maybe to his gf or friends or anyone. Like he told Richard.

Bunny is STILL NOT morally superior in my eyes just because he wasn't directly involved in murder. It is because he wasn't involved that it makes it so much more grey.

We don't know a lot about Bunny in general.

What if he was involved in the death? Wouldn't he be in the same plane as them?

In this case they wouldn't kill Bunny, and they all would be in the same situation. Henry didn't kill Bunny cuz he was a sociopath.

They seem worse than him because they killed him but if they didn't, we won't consider them worse.

He would have done the same as they did but with more guilt and remorse.

To me it seemed like Bunny wasn't upset the farmer died but he was upset that his friends killed him, lied to him and hid their crime, that made him feel an intense amount of guilt on behalf of them.

That's all I want to say.

(I don't agree with all your opinions on TSH but I don't mean to hate on it 😭😭😭😭. I saw the post of you calling me out and felt I needed to explain myself. Again, I just wanted to give my opinions on Bunny, I know he is more hated than the rest and it's BAD. It's just we see so little of Bunny being good that you can't blame people for not liking him. My opinions of him have softened each time I re-read the book and he definitely didn't deserve to die as some people say)

Sorry for the long ask lol, I just had a lot of emotions 🤧🤧🤧

Im so sorry for the late reply really ive been suuuper drained and ive been waiting until i get my energy back to reply but days have passed and im still mentally and physically worn out and i just feel rude at this point😭 i really wish i could give a longggg reply bc i love yapping about tsh but theres a stopper in my brain that prevents the thoughts from flowing so ill leave this post here where i talk in length about this topic and why i dont think bunny could have ever been involved in the murder.

Anddd i dont blame people for not liking bunny!!! I think thats a very valid opinion. I dont think hes a good person but i love his character

And tysm for what u said abt my blog! I loveeee hearing opinions that differ from mine so pls feel free to debate me on my takes i find it really enjoyable <3 my interpretation of the book is after all just an interpretation and i love hearing how other people come to different conclusions based on the same text

And wdym by the post i called u out on? Im kinda confused on that bc i dont remember having called anyone out on my blog 😭 but sorry if u somehow felt attacked by one of my posts, it def wasnt my intention

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Roderick & Amira

in the spirit of fleshing out interfamilial relationships where i play multiples, i wanted to dive in w this toxic mess too! so this is gonna focus on roderick's feelings re: amira and my plan is ultimately to reblog it from her site w her feelings re: him as well hahahah so! without further ado, let's get into this mess! if you wanna skip ahead to their current vibes [ here ]'s his pinterest board for amira! ;D

roderick's biggest feeling abt amira is that whole 'not like other girls' thing. amira keeps her emotions largely under lock and key, mostly just floating around giving off menacing vibes instead asdkjfkljdsf which roderick is like 'damn, nice' about basically bc #thatsthegoal he too wishes to be feared...unfortunately for everyone, he ~also wants to be admired (smth abt which amira couldn't give two figs but ill get more into that later) hence burning naysayers as witches basically lakjsdfkljdjfs however!! amira might be a witch (jury's out lkasdjfkljsdfj) but you must NEVER speak of that in roderick's hearing bc he's like I SEE NOTHING I DONT WANT TO always lksdjfakjlsdjf and if you bring this to his intention, instead of bringing his ire down on his queen it'll bring it down on ~you bc itd make him look bad to hate witches and then turn around and marry one so, like, to notice this inconsistency is frankly unpatriotic!!!!!!

but!!!! let's really dig into their interpersonal relationship!!!!! ok so roderick first met amira when she came bearing the head of the deposed god-king of kolchis out to him. she was quite young (im thinking she may have lied abt her age at first bc like...roderick is a creep in a lot of ways but not quite ~that one...like, don't get me wrong, 16??? we're talking aksldjfkljdsf like, he ~is a creep, but under 16 even ~he is like 'that's a literal child' but amira's ambitions weren't gonna be held back by a couple years!!!!! bc this was her moment and if she didnt ensnare him then she never would bc ngl roderick ~can be a lil goldfish-like this way -- he's got a loT of beautiful women tryna get his attention yknow aldksjfkldsjf), but i mean look at her she's a stunner, and she wasn't afraid of gore (obv laksjdfkljdsf she was literally carrying around a head on likely a silver tray bc why not ;D stylish AND convenient alksdjfkljsdjfk judith meets salome style ig aklsdjfkjdsjf), which deF shocked him at first no lie!!!!! like women are supposed to faint at the sight of blood!!!!! but she was def rocking that bad girl chic (it ~is her thing laksdjfkljdsf) and being perceived as a conquering hero and feted by the ppl who he'd conquered was!!!!! fun!!!!!! ngl i think he's still chasing that high!!!!

roderick does ~generally go for the good girl archetype, i think, but when he first saw her he def wasn't thinking he'd ever take another wife! he was thinking...that looks like a fun fling!!! (before he had multiple wives, he def took mistresses when he wasn't w his wife bc he was off campaigning etc, tho he was v discreet abt it and idk how widely that's known or not? im down w whatever works best for plots re: that, if we ever wanna explore it hahaha he's also def of that medieval belief that you can't sleep w a pregnant woman bc she and the baby might die!!!!! but ~he can't go without ofc soooo anything goes and def doesn't count as cheating!!!!! bc he's just being a good guy protecting his wife and kid!!!! lakjsdfkljdsjf and same kinda goes if he's away from his family on campaign or whatever for a prolonged period!!!!! *facepalm*)

anyway!!!! he meets her this way and he def thinks she'd be fun for a weekend or whatever, but she's like 'no, sir, im a lady' *looks directly into the camera but roderick doesn't notice* and we all know roderick enjoys a good conquest so this was frankly working really well!!!!! he was like 'have jewels!!! have money!!!!!' and eventually 'ill make you my official mistress! my wife can deaL' and she was like 'oh but i cannot for i am the priestess of calainon, and i cannot unless we are wed' anne boleyn style and THIS is when things change for roderick bc of that one lil word: CALAINON. i've already discussed roderick's feelings abt intertwining his legacy w that of the great calainon and now he can do that in a v LITERAL way and while he's mulling this over, but to his credit, he's unwilling to abandon his og wife, even tho he is pr frustrated that there's, as yet, no heir and there's a literal PROMISE of kids from amira re: the prophecy that the line of calainon will last until the ending of the world (too bad godfrey has plans to bring about that v ending #whoops ;DDDD)

finally perceiving that roderick won't be putting aside the og wife, tho (amira: sigh), amira one day whispers, 'oh, my love, if only it were like the days of yore when a man could take multiple wives...' and roderick suddenly has a thought entirely his own that amira def did not place there ;DDDD anyway, we all know how this goes!!!! (also like...damn...imaginie being wife #1, and i def think roderick wanted her to be present/have a role in the wedding ceremony, too, in order to showcase how they were all one big happy family, and you just know!!!!!!! that had to be like just sm fun for her!!!!! </3 esp bc ~she probs saw quite clearly that amira was a snake in the grass)

so more abt this on her side, but up until the wedding, amira has def been toeing this line between sultry and [ untouchable ] w a heaping topping of godly (when roderick invaded she had this revelation, you guys, that the fire was actually to celebrate the one god of roderick and she was really ~his priestess all along!!! ;DDD) but now they're married and amira doesn't feel quite so constrained tho she does NOT like that the empress has more status than ~she as the primary wife and she deffff wants to have a boy right quickly so that she can cement her position as the undoubted mother of the next emperor!!!! roderick for his part didn't care which wife gave him a son, first, he just wanted one!!! however, w amira hiding her true nature less, it starts to bleed through and over time roderick begins to learn that she isn't in love w him at all, tho she keeps up the pretense, in her way, even now

now, as i said before, roderick here likes to be admired!!!! and, bizarrely, this is really working for him bc he also likes to conquer and it just...it gets all kinds of toxic. he loves her. he hates her, too. he wishes she would die. he craves her heart. she is too cold for a woman, too cold to be anything but respected, tho. and he still wants her. and sometimes he even thinks, as he used to, that perhaps she ~does love him, only to discover again that she does not. they fight and they fuck and they fight again and while this goes on, the empress gets weaker and weaker, and there's still no son from either of them!

enter marian. this is when things get real, honestly. before now they've been doing this weird toxic dance, but amira was secure in knowing she had her claws in him. she was still his new, shiny toy. now, she realizes she's lost that. and, slowly, he sees her see that. i think, after marrying again, roderick really perceives the real amira for the first time, and part of him sees this dark reflection of himself: that ruthless ambition, stripped of all the trappings he adorns his with to make it more palatable to his woldview: she's just ragged hunger, and deep down he understands that. and he detests it. but he can't put it away from himself either bc it tugs at smth dark inside himself, and strangely he trusts her more now bc he finally gets her, finally gets what's really driving her, and its what's driving him, too. they're both just scared kids that know what its like to be trampled and powerless, and will do whatever it takes never to be that way again. but worst of all, he knows that she can see that in him, too. so he can never let her go: never let her unleash that knowledge upon the world. so now they can really work together. and now they can really hurt e/o. and they do.

as ive discussed before, i do think that, when arthur was born, roderick was like 'ah yes at last my heir!' but amira changed all of that! amira never forgot that the empress had precedence over ~her as the first wife and like hell she was gonna let anyone forget that the same applied to amira and marian! ~her son was to the heir!!! and roderick is fine w this: let the women squabble for his favor. this suits him just fine!! he doesn't yet see his sons as threats to his own situation or greatness bc they're still little, but that'll come as they hit they're teenage years don't worry! lkajsdkfjdsfh and then his empress dies and everything changes. bc the whole world revolves around roderick, and bc she's been deteriorating since the moment he married amira, roderick is sure that her death is ~his fault (and he's not entirely wrong since he did bring the person who poisoned her into contact w her while also furnishing that person w a motive ~to poison her!) and he is inconsolable. i feel like for two weeks he locked himself in his room and would do nothing but carry his lil daughter around and promising her the whole world

but smth else happened, too: during the empress' final illness, roderick saw a side of amira he'd never seen before as she tenderly nursemaided the empress, never leaving her alone for a moment even as she grew worse and worse and worse. he'd never seen tenderness in amira, save a smidge towards their son in his infancy, insisting on wetnursing him herself and always attending v faithfully to all his meals and such!! and roderick found that, despite her failure to save the empress, he was grateful to amira for what she'd done! or at least (seemingly) tried to do! smth that, coupled w his guilt, bound him to her.

ofc, the marked favoritism he then showed to guin certainly did amira's peace of mind no favors, and she'd pick at him, but his laugh was a dead thing, and he'd just tuck a curl behind his daughter's ear and tell amira over his shoulder to see to her own son and leave him to his daughter and chuckle dryly as she stood in all her towering fury knowing she was dismissed and that he'd call for the guards to escort a hysterical woman to her chambers if she persisted any longer.

ofc the first fervor of the empress' loss did wear off, and we've discussed at length roderick's wonderful parenting skills. their relationship has ebbed and flowed largely w his relationship w edmund, esp since -- now that he understands her ambition is his own -- he knows edmund is a chip he can use to hurt and maneuver her as much as she knows this same abt him. she will always advocate for her boy and he can show his approval to ~her, even, by showing it to edmund, or simply by denying it to guin or arthur -- and his lack thereof in the same way.

i do think, like i said, he still sees amira as ~not like other women~ so if he had to pick a queen to serve as regent (not that he ever would tbqh!!!), itd probs be amira from the fact that he trusts to her logic and to her ambition...however!! he likewise does not trust amira since he knows she serves her own ends not ~his, but does trust that marian would do precisely what he asked. this is def a moot point tho bc lbr the only ppl he'd trust w this would be bartholomew or alaric, but here we are! my general point is that he does sort of see amira ~as her own thing~ but tbh im not sure that does her too many favors all the time bc she's def a curiosity -- less than a man, more than a woman, smth which i think he largely attributes to her calainon heritage so yeah!! lakjsdfjkldsf this has been an examination of roderick's relationship w amira lkajsdfkjdsf there's more but this covers the general stuff lkfasdjfkljsdkjf

he does see her brothers as entirely loyal to himself, as sensible men, but its no secret that they're all team edmund (tbh i think tristan is more team: lets just prevent a civil war and keep my nephew safe and happy and not force him to go to war w his own siblings, but roderick just assumes an edmund-for-emperor bias), but yeah that's a whole other thing and def way less important bc those're just sort of ancillary reltionaships to his ones w amira and edmund, from his own pov

there is just one thing left to say, and that's that...roderick loved her, he did, and now he knows she never loved him and...they understand e/o in a way no one else does, but...he's sad and bitter bc he wanted her love, even if he just lost it, he wanted it bc he loved her, and he hates that he was the weak one and ~she the conqueror and that causes all sorts of chaotic undercurrents and subtext, both trying to steal her heart at one moment and tryna punish her another as well as a thousand little daggers and sadnesses and bitterness and pleading and storming and yeahhh toxic!!!! its just toxic lakjsdfkljdsjf

[cerealmonster15]

no wait talk 2 me abt rook&vil they're so silly (unless ur legitimately busy but I will listen if u ever want to talk abt sillies lol)

god i had to restrain myself from literally screenshotting every single convo vil and rook have ever had bc theres Simply Too Much, and even trying to contain myself i still went over the limit LOL god ok anyway love is real and i have to put in a readmore bc i love posting screenshots and talking FOREVER!!!!!

one of my earlier memories of them was back when i first got into twst in 2020 and reading random card stories. i remember the jade leech dorm story and i just got his card recently so i got to relive married couple vil and rook experiencing Jade Leech Behavior

"you're making me jealous~ is he as good as meeee~" and vils like well kinda LOL but also in the rook lab coat story

aka the one where rooks openly thirsting after leona and teases vil about being jealous about it. like hello. ?? ?!?!!?!?!?!

also TWO instances of vil casually dropping that leonas attractive

a pretty face. a good looking layabout. vil no one is making you say these things.

anyway i just love how openly loving rook is in general, but especially with vil 😭

^both from the jade dorm story.... vil shows up and hes like Oh My God Life Is Beautiful. ok well hes like that about everything but he does it More when vils around :')

god this whole second half of rooks lab story is soooooooo hshdhfhehheskefkjjdfjfgfdg yknow????? like the whole story is half rook being So Very Weird About Leona fkjefskljdf "if those sharp fangs of his pierced my windpipe, why, i'd be done for in an instant. the very notion makes my heart quiver" ROOK BE NORMAL CHALLENGE just kidding i love that hes a freak it's so fun. he says something kinda similar about vil??? i cant remember which instance it was - i wanna say maybe when vil got kidnapped in Halloween 2 or book 6 or something? where he said something like "oh no, i know vil doesnt need my protection. if i dared imply such a thing he'd kick me in the head with his six inch heels lol 🤗" like HELLO????

speaking of halloween 2, omg. i forgot to take screenshots but that whole bit makes me insane. he calls vil "my etolle/ my star" and is agonizing over his disappearance......... hes so overjoyed to see him again and rushes to his side when theyre reunited,, and omfg i also forgot the part in masquerade where hes getting ready to leave and hes like "here is a flower, im so sorry im leaving you alone vil, ill be back to you before this flower blooms ♥" like literally why was he so romantic about it. vils like dude you will be gone Three Days fjklsejklfjkls i cant get over it. it's so FUNNY and so,,, hfhdhhhghf. the way he and vil act like parents of pomefiore is so cute too. like when theyre leaving rooks like "dont worry vil ill be with epel to make sure things are going okay!!" and vils like "hmm. yea idk im still worried actually" bc he loves rook but he also knows rook better than anyone LOL

anyway i got distracted, back to the rook lab coat story

this part is so good. rook is going on and on about leona and vils like "ok so just join spelldrive club and bother him there" and rooks immediately like "no. im in science club so i can help you with special effects for your film work to support you " HE LITERALLY SAYS SUPPORT WITH HIS LOVE WAHHHH god they make me go bonkers actually. a lot of what rook does is out of love and support for vil and his pursuit of beauty wahhhh

he likes being close to vil

he knows vils exact measurements, he even says in vils lab story that the only person that looks at vil longer than vil is him lol

he was so enthusiastic about vil and his work that hed run up to him and just talk forever and ever until vil finally spoke back to him and they were just INSEPARABLE after. i think so often about that bit where they say they talked so much they GOT SICK IN THE SNOW!!!! HELLO HI CAN ANYONE HEAR ME- theyre so full of matched passion i love them so much no one understands them like they understand each other AUGHHHH

anyway back to rook mentioning he wants to be up close to vil and his pursuit of beauty,,, i ALSO cant stop thinking about how thats literally one of the reasons he TRANSFERRED DORMS TO POMEFIORE

it means everything to him to be at vils side as long as possible and the fact that he cant when theyre away on their internships in fourth year is devastating WAHHHH 😭😭😭

but also. beanfest.

LIKE. HSDFHDSLJ every time they interact in this entire event is So Charged. hey rook your body is bulked up, i know this because I Was Looking. vil i am so excited to brawl with you one on one ive been anticipating it for a month. back and forth banter with each other and then just

whatever this is. and epel standing there like 🧍‍♂️ I Will Avoid Them Actually. jfksdlfjdkslfjkj

hes So Fucking Excited when it's time to fight vil,,, he even brought evil face trey LOL

"btw you look hot-" thats nice rook

THEY ARE FLIRTING. and then rook literally Sent Trey Away because he was so excited for his 1v1 with his beloved husband skdjfdskl and trey was like "yea i dont wanna be involved Bye 🚶‍♂️" fjlkdsfj no one wants to get tangled up in their Strange Relationship

also this line vil says in the home screen

ive seen fanart about this too thats like "hmm. vil most of you is covered. you have no hard to reach parts. it's like, your hands and neck and face 🤨" and it's so tender, rook putting sunblock on vils hands.... but also WHY cant you do that YOURSELF, HMM?? 🤨🤨🤨

ok ok ok but then. book 5 finale. i remember some people were Rook Haters after that and i simply do not agree!! and apparently some people dont like book 5. cant relate!!!!!!! rook hunt dislikers do not interact book 5 is everything to me!!!!

i might have those out of order but sjdklfjelsjkfdjsklf DFHDLKSJFLDKF GODDDD I CANT TAKE ITTTT 😭 rook going on and on about how it doesnt matter what vil looks like but as long as hes confident like rook knows he is then he will always be beautiful!!! i didnt get screenshots of that part in book 6 where theyre flying back and vil Turned Old but i love how loving and supportive rook is while vils just having his breakdown 🥺

idk man i just really like their interaction about this whole think ;A; like yea vil practically fell over in BETRAYAL when he saw rook voted for their enemy LOL but then i like that hes like "please. i know you and i know you dont make biased decisions ever, you always tell what you truly believe in your heart," and and and god damn it tumblr wont let me post any more photos but vil SMILES and hands rook back his handkerchief to let him dry his own tears and it's just SWEET WAHHH listennnnNNNN. i think it's nice. vil couldve gone off and been super mad at rook but he wasn't 😭 like he wasnt happy lol, but he knows rook. he understands [as much as one can LOL] rook. and rook loves and supports vil with everything he has, but hes also true to his heart and i think thats something vil really values about rook and a big part of why he keeps him around. it can be a positive and a negative, sure- this isnt the only time rooks honest to a fault lol, but i love,, multifaceted characters with deep relationships....

point is i lay facedown on the floor and cry for hours when i think too hard about vil and rook bc theres just So Much Love..... i cant get really coherent points or analysis out i just love repeating parts that happen in the game and posting six million screenshots bc thats all thats happening in my brain constantly JKFLJDSKLDJS i love rookvil. one of the ships ever. theyre married your honor theyre MARRIED and also being in a toxic yaoi polycule with leona is very funny to me jfklejskljfe marriage + divorce love wins(?)

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[zephyrusz]

i love harper veyr much such a cute little guy

are they essentially the same person throughout all of your AUs of them? like do they have any defining traits between like, youre genshin version or your identity v version? im very curious :)

oh my goshness than ku for tne ask anon!!

ive actually been very compelled to talk about this for a while, it might be a little long so ill break the page !! below will be some defining features of each version of harper :3

okie doke! harper is different in each of my versions. they share the same name and general information, as well as similar personalities, but it can vary throughout the universe they are in.

lets start with the most common on my blog, and my favorite :)

identity v !!

- seventeen years old

- born in 1881, i hc idv to be set in 1898 ( i did go on the wiki timeline to find this information... )

- they tend to be more shy and reserved, very limited to actual human interaction

- very poor at communication, often freezes up when put on the spot

- although they still work as a bard, playing songs for their town back home

- in the manor, they sometimes perform for the rest of the survivors

- they took a strong liking to andrew, tried to compliment him, proceeded to stutter their words and scurry off

- not a good look for them

- andrew took it as fear, and reserved himself further from them, very very much to harpers dismay (it only took emilys scolding to get him to realize they didnt mean harm)

- have been an unusual friendship since! theyre both shy and quiet, but andrew has a soft side that he can freely express around harper, and they feel as if they can trust him with their feelings :3 the best little/big sibling duo in the manor!

- they feel very drawn to tracy and emily, the two both very protecting of them (a bit babying, but theyll let it slide) they just enjoy their company, and often help out emily around the infirmary when survivors need any assistance.

genshin impact !!

- sixteen years old

- dont have an exact birth year ? idk what year genshin is man...

- dendro vision, living in mondstadt :)

- wields a bow, the only thing they can handle without dropping on their foot (a catalyst is far too confusing for them)

- again, a bard !! took inspiration from venti, and the two became close friends!

- still a bit reserved, but more adventurous and eager to go out and explore!!

- honorary member of bennys adventure team (i lvoe bennett... i couldnt help myslwf)

- them and razor chill out together and eat berries they find in the woods. eat berry. they love razor because they dont actually need to talk around him, the two love just sitting in silence for a while.

- is very suspicious of venti, is not stupid enough to believe that the statue of their god is NOT their best friend and the same guy who knows a bit too much about ancient history..

- i need to give them some credit, they arent stupid. just quick to act on impulse.

my dnd campaign!!

- fifteen years old

- is actually the earliest version of harper that was made, the origin!!!

- i had my first ever campaign with my friends who also didnt know how to play dnd, so we just goofed off for the most part

- i literally gave up every other skill they couldve had and negotiated with my dm to see if they could be able to magically play any instrument they found perfectly

- it worked, they can now play any instrument they want but at what cost.. they will crumble if they get slightly brushed over by the wind

- yeah so they ended up being very weak but its really no big deal

- they were on the verge of death twice, they had to sacrifice their pan flute in order to survive ( i think my dm hated them )

- sentient tree: 3, harper: 0

- they arent doing too good back there... anywya

warrior cats!! kitty time

- they are a cat dont eben hate right now

- ruffleberry!! dont ask abt the name origin i thought it sounded cute, how do cats know what a ruffle is?? idk you tell me

- medicine cat, ass cheeks at fighting so its a win in their book

- not too much about this i just wanted to draw them as a cat :3 meows meoww

so thats pretty much my main/favorite universes i feel like talking about right now, if anyone has any requests or questions about silly harper antics in any version feel free to ask i love talking about them i love my little baba :3

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

f1 anon here! yall are so so sweet omg, ill cry rn. my current opinions on it are: i love mclaren and ferrari (what can i say, i love the color red). other than that i really dont even know what im talking abt, i really do just think its so fun to watch. at the end of the day i am a simple create, i like to see fast cars go fast. but please share and ramble abt your favs and your opinions, i would love to hear them!!

hi my love!! i’ve tagged you as 🏁 anon, so you can find all of your posts and responses in one place <3

oh you’re a girly with taste 😌 and that’s what it’s all about!! we like to see fast cars go fast <3

i’m about to ramble your fuckin socks off so be warned mwahahaha

mclaren are my favourite team!! it’s a funny one, because they’re so good to lando and oscar, were so good to carlos, but they treated danny so terribly. they’re definitely my number one team, 100%, but sometimes i do get a little angry when i think about what danny went through in a year there

I like the ferrari drivers - I don’t like ferrari as a team. or at least, I didn’t. fred vasseur (their new team principle) has come in and changed the game, which gives me hope. fuck mattia!! I just think… how are you the most successful team in the history of f1 but right now you have no strategy and no communication and a mess of a car etc etc. like how did we end up here

not huge on red bull as a team, but that’s probably because i’m not massive on checo or horner. but i adore maxie. i feel like we’d get along really well if we ever met. he’s such a complex personality but in the best way, and the most talented driver of his generation.

if I had to make a fave drivers list, it would probably look something like -

lando, maxie, daniel, carlos, charles, alex, oscar

alex mf albon!! he’s so underrated and we do not talk about him enough. he outperforms the car week after week. king shit <3

and lando is my number one, of course. we have a lot in common, and I think we’re pretty similar people. I do think I’d be able to make him laugh until he cried (not that it’s hard). he’s a ridiculously talented driver, which he’s proven again and again. he gets discredited because he’s never won, but it’s just an unfortunate coincidence that his best season coincided with maxies best season too. he’s always learning and experimenting, and other drivers have said that they watch his onboards to look at the lines he’s choosing etc etc, because he’s always pushing the limits. I cannot even describe to you how much I would love to watch him win this season.

and daniel, sweet daniel. he’s so bittersweet to watch, because he really did leave red bull thinking he’d find something better and then never found it. genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if he took checos seat next year. he’s so talented, and he’s been racing for such a long time, so it’d be nice to see him on the podium again soon. he just needs a rocketship of a car!! glad to see him back in a team that cares about him, though. he’s a ray of sunshine <3

I shall not ramble anymore… unless… 😌

anon, tell me your thoughts and faves and opinions, don’t let me talk your ear off anymore!!

[highschool-rooftop]

oct. 27th, 2020

man its weird to think this blog is 2 years old isnt it? like when I started this i thought that i was anyday from just killing myself, i had no hope, no job, and was about to love my living situation but thanks to a few nice friends and accepting people, i was able to land a job at *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* and then after that place stressing me to the point of panic attacks and taking it out on the wait staff... then i ended things nice with that place despite how much i hated it and i apologized to the wait staff alot.. probably too much...

now ive worked at *big store chain* a year now and i hate it just as much as i hated *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* for a similar reason too!! i fucking despite the people that run the places i work because i know i could probably do their job 30× better, i just choose not to because thats also 30× more responsibility on my shoulders and ive already got broken legs from the shit i feel like im dealing with outside of work.

the more i focus for a minute the more i feel like my life is in shambles and that im barely functioning right anymore. ive been horribly depressed again as of the past couple months and my family i live with barely talk to me because im always in my room which is like totally fair, but if im not sleeping up there im using whatever energy is left from work to hang out with my friends because theyre actually engaged in the topics i talk about, they show interest and actually talk to me not at me. my aunt and uncle and i have few interests in common so its incredibly difficult for me to keep a conversation going for long with them. theyre always playing card games or board games but im not interested in them, theyre not really that fun for me. my uncle plays xbox but hes typically on COD which i dont enjoy because of how toxic those communities are, hes got minecraft but the last time he played he never told me he was getting on at all otherwise i would've joined! then theres me and my cousin who are currently on nearly completely different schedules and really only see each other when hes taking me to and from work which makes it hard to hang out and play games, and thats of hes even willing to play any of the games im comfortable with and not trying another Survival-Crafting-RPG-Game of the week or something like factorio which is hyper complicated and i dont have the time to dedicate to learning how to play correctly so i just end up being a resource collector and its kinda boring..

and all of thats just the at home situation. my friends at least hear from me more but since alot of them have moved out of town for college at this point i haven't hung out with a friend outside of work irl in like 5, maybe 6 months... and i dont interact with many people at work. im really really lonely.

small bit of good news i feel i should add here in case i dont come back again for a few months is that ive scheduled an appointment to see someone abt getting hrt, itll be Jan 19th! ill also be seeing a few of my online friends in December too!! i hope i can stay alive at least until then. sometimes i feel like im in the same situation i was in when i started this blog but those two things are the two things giving me the hope to keep pushing on i guess.

oh and my old friends birthday will be this weekend, i probably shouldve just forgotten them by now like they probably have me but in the off chance that they ever find this stupid blog: happy birthday BXXXXX, hope you have been in good health and that you are happy ! please be well and enjoy Freddy VS Jason and the Scary Godmother, and the live action Scooby Doo movies again this year !

with that i think thats all ive had to say. im neglecting mentioning new speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, and all the terrible horrible things i want to say abt him and how im worried it will fuck with my healthcare before i even recieve it due to the fact that im typing this up outside, its cold out, my phones almost dead, im tired, and i still have a bit of this bowl of the married iguanas to finish up with before unwinding and going to bed to repeat this living nightmare of a life all over again tomorrow. maybe ill watch adventure time before bed ..?

[blackvail22]

i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.

its sad, honestly.

i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks

thats nearly a month since ive seen her

im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao

idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...

i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice

i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is

im so bored. i have to be the problem

i really think i am

"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.

maybe its because theyre busy

maybe at work

going to work

hanging out with other friends

going to hang out with other friends

i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one

i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore

so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out

after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).

when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.

this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her

a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.

i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...

now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.

she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.

she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.

[gogolstoelicker]

Giggles

We've got like practically a whole chain of BSD characters in Twisted Wonderland. So what if Akutagawa was there? We've got alot of agency members, time to bring Mafia into the mix. Evil ass

Twisted Wonderland with an Akutagawa!like MC

warning(s): mentions of killing, mentions of blood

notes: this is so funny to me bc imagine insulting mc and they just Rashomon everyone's ass

i added everyone bc pain and suffering sounds funny to me /j

You're extremely violent and ruthless when it comes to work, all the while maintaining a stoic and detached figure. Your composure is frequently broken by rage, however. You're quick to lash out whenever something doesn't go your way.

You seem to have a Social Darwinist perspective of the world. You believed that the weak deserves to die and yield to the strong.

Heartslabyul:

ace and deuce definitely learned the hard way not to piss you off LMAO

like they were causing trouble and u just rashomon their ass

esp ace (and grim)

and yknow in the prologue when ace mocked you? yeah

you probably rashomon his ass then

he was scared of you bc AREN'T U MAGICLESS?? WHAT IS THIS??

i mean he sure still bother u here and there after he got over his shock

can't help it man, you're his best friend

trey saw u and go "ah yes. another mentally ill friend🤗" /hj

honestly you're probably a little bit appreciative of trey

only a little tho

mostly bc of those pastries he makes

u try to avoid cater bc hes trying so hard to get ur emo ass to appear on his magicam

u probably tried to destory his phone once

but u got scolded by trey

u listen to trey for some reason?

talking to u is like a landmine bro

cater can ask a perfectly normal question like "do u like dogs?"

and u just go "not really, a wild dog bit one of my friends in the slums before so i was forced to kill all the dogs there"

and everyone at the table just stared at u like 🕴

riddle doesn't like how u do whatever u want

i mean u followed some rules if u think they're convenient but other than that, n o

and control that temper of yours! great sevens, he's getting a headache from the amount of times he had to collar u so u won't destroy heartslabyul or the whole school in general

Savanaclaw:

honestly? while you almost destroy everyone there

i think this kind of mc will get along with ruggie the most

i mean they do both grow up in the slums, so there's a lot of things they can relate to that others couldn't

(bsd beast spoiler: think of that one scene in the beast manga where akutagawa and atsushi are bonding over how their lives were before they got to where they are. it's smth like that)

you would rather die than admit it but you quite enjoy talking to ruggie

there's just something that you guys know that others dont bc you both grew up in the slums

like importance of food, and the fight for a notebook

one time, everyone caught u having a small smile on your face talking to ruggie

literally everyone: 😮😦

ace felt betrayed u smiled at ruggie and not him btw

"iM yOUr beST FRIend🤬🤬"

as for leona? u don't really care abt leona?

like leona is leona!!

but u guys might not get along too well tho

as for jack, you might get along with him a little

he believes u shouldn't do thing halfheartedly and u agree with that

he wants to be stronger, u wanna be stronger

is that u running on the tracks with jack at 5 in the morning?

oh see! u guys are bonding alr!!

Octavinelle:

if it isn't for your friends, the whole coral sea and monstro lounge would be destroyed

like thank god jack is strong enough to hold u back from lashing out completely

jade thought it was amusing but a bit bothersome

floyd thought it was funny and definitely tries to piss you off on more than one occasion

azul shakes in his seat thinking about the cost he will have to pay if u ever actually destroyed monstro lounge out of rage

and knowing u, u probably won't even help him pay that cost

so he ordered jade to uh

keep floyd away from u

that one time u lashed out is enough warning for him to be careful with you

esp when it seems like u don't even care abt ur comrades and is focused on destroying the things around u and the source as to why things doesn't go your way

honestly? u guys probably don't click KSKSK

Scarabia:

kalim thinks you're cool!!

like you're so strong and your ability is so cool!

I've said smth like that many times alr i am very sorry kalim!

jamil tries his hardest to keep kalim away from u cause like

you're very likely to kill him

like there's a 90% chance you would

5% you would try to avoid before killing him bc you got annoyed

4% you would do it when jamil's not around

and 1% that you wouldn't

jamil doesn't trust u at all

not that u cared ofc

kalim, however, always followed u around if he saw u walking down rhe hallway

like oh!! is that the prefect?!?!????

and then he dropped everything and ran up to u

better start running if u don't want him to bother u abt ur ability

Pomefiore:

smile will u?

vil said when he saw u

like he had never seen u smile at all! you're gonna get wrinkles that way, smile!

rook, however, isn't too bothered by this

you're beautiful the way u are!

like ur ability, the way u carry urself, ur appearance overall

its all simply BEAUTÉ😍

epel doesn't mind much

but you're so strong damn‼️he wants to be like that too‼️

and the way u do whatever u want no matter what the faculty or dorm leaders told u?

he's shaking, wanting u to take him as a student or smth

uh oh someone pls stop him

you're from the mafia? who cares!

ok maybe he cares a little

being from the mafia sound scary

but hey! all that matters is that u won't kill anyone here right?😁

right?😅😥

Ignihyde:

ah yes, emo with the emos

like idia gloomy and you're gloomy too

probably don't even acknowledge each other

like if you guys encounter each other in the hallways, u guys just walked past each other

maybe a small head nod as a greeting but other than that, n o t h i n g

u got into fights alot

and u have a lung problems so u were coughing all the time

one time u even coughed out blood

so ortho tried to look out for u!!

u almost lashed out at him since u don't want to be pittied(how do u spell)

but u got used to it over time!!

like he rushed over to u to help and u just

let it be

like stay there and let him do some treatment and analysis

mostly bc u know no matter what u do, he'll insist on doing this

Diasomnia:

ah yes, emo with the emos(2)

u think u and sebek could get along well bc of that hatred for humanity (well not really for sebek)

but in truth, it just sparks fights between the two of you

bc you're still a human and sebek is ❌anti human❌ apparently

lilia have met many kinds of people in his long life and during his travels

so he have probably met a few people like u so he knows how to deal with u!!

you're about to lash out? well better not try to lash out on him, he was a general yknow^^

silver is always on his guard with you

and esp knowing that you're from the mafia???

yeah he's def on his guard

malleus doesn't really care what or who u work for

he wants a friend who doesn't fear him

you dont fear him but u seem to have no interest in being his friend

he's pouty about it

if u look his way, you can see him sulking abt u not wanting to be his friend

this is a threat. be. his. friend.

Ramshackle:

oh grim def got his ass chop chop

the three ghosts too

you're probably the boss there now LMFOAOAOA

well i mean, you are a prefect. its only natural that u are one in ramshackle

but grim and the ghosts are definitely scared of you

like damn u almost destroyed the whole dorm and for what😔

but it's all good!! you warmed up to them one time!!

and it's now their core memory

like the prefect??? who almost killed us multiple time just protected us and told us not to die???

and they even suddenly started helping around??

what's next?? are the sun and moon gonna come out at the same time??

and idc what anyone says, you'll probably get along well with grim too

maybe you would just brush off the ghosts and their pranks

and even tho grim kind of makes u wanna do several capital crimes, i would say you two would get along well since you both grew up in the slums

talking to u is a landmine(2)

the ghosts asked what do u do for a living and u said smth abt killing people

they asked abt ur friends in the slums and u said they all got killed except for u and ur sister

everyone in the dorm:😱😱😱

[captainaikus]

I am. I just. I cannot. BREAKING MIRRORS???? ADHKHHIJJDJHDHRHHHRHEH. Comfort? I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve read comfort on your blog 💀💀. Not that it’s a bad thing, the angst is exquisite, but like hurt/comfort is one of my favorite tropes. This was also exactly what I needed. I’ve been feeling really down abt my body lately how it’s too big and not proportioned right and how my face looks gross. Stuff like that you know? I was not expecting to be hit with this kind of comfort. It’s exactly what I needed so thank you so much for writing it.

Shirtless fictional characters are always a great motivation 😌. Oh speaking of which i might just hop on Pinterest and start looking for Izana fanart 👀👀. I WILL NEVER BE ANNOYED IF YOU START POSTING TR CONTENT ON YOUR BLOG WHETHER THEY BE FICS OR MANGA PANELS ILL TAKE THEM ALL. *ahem* Also. I went into the episode expecting to fall harder for Nagi. But no. I fell for Reo as soon as I saw him. THE HECK WHAT IS THIS SORCERY I DONT KNOW A SINGLE THING ABT HIM AND IM IN LOVE HES JUST AADGJKHFHHFRR YES. When you say you’re excited abt posting your angst wips my guard goes up immediately it’s not even funny anymore like pls I wanna say spare me but I also need more at the same time 😭💀. I read your post and I’m so excited for more Bachira and Chigiri content!!!! Bachira being my favorite character and all. And also Chigiri during the last episode shot an arrow into my heart. Even tho I had some reservations abt him before watching the episode its all good now. I have another pretty boy to love 🥰.

DUDE I NEED TO TALK ABT THE FIC CAUSE IM JUST ASTONISHED. Like Nagis was so so so sweet if made me go awww so many times. And Oliver made me giggle a lot it’s adorable. And Rins? Phew sir no need to mess with me like that 😮‍💨. I also really liked how you described all the negative thoughts of the reader. A lot of them are what I think abt myself when I’m not feeling the best so it was really relatable reading it. Thank you again I don’t think you know how much reading that meant to me it’s exactly what I needed seriously.

How are you btw? How’s uni? Also I’ve been meaning to ask but what’re some of your favorite things? Like in general? Shows and mangas and books and snacks etc? I always get on here ranting abt stuff but I wanna let you know that I wanna get to know you too. It’s a two way straight you know? Only if you’re comfortable sharing ofc. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and that you have a good day!! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Starry! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ I hope yk i changed the screensaver of my phone to tr - I blame you for that (lovingly ♡)

This is gonna be a long ask ;

So i had this idea for a while and since I have a hub of angst works on my blog, I wanted to try a hand at comfort but with an angst to fluff (yeah i love that troupe as well) the reason I made this piece is cause of both, to indulge myself in writing comfort as well as to comfort people who are reading it and another element was capturing the realism of it... like. Usually when I read body positivity fics... the details of it are very vague. I wanted to put in something that was more descriptive, reasons why you hate that part of yourself- tiny details that do matter; and I ended up creating this. I was hesitant in posting this at first but then I reminded myself that it was for me and for a person on the other side of the screen who could be comforted by it when they couldn't really talk about these to someone or just in general.

And I'm glad it worked ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ And I hope you feel better now

I plan on making more editions and going further, it might include more sensitive topics as well-

Istg. When i saw kunigami without a shirt *saves image*, and Rin *saves image*, Nagi *saves image* but I really wanna see Oliver

૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

Oh god Izana fanart. I did find one on twitter and istg the amount I- reason for my laughter. (contemplating if i should make this my screensaver or not)

I have a tr content supporter!! I had an idea in mind for the tr boys in mind- and since i got hyped for it. I'm gonna start working on that once i read the manga cause i wanna make sure this fits in the character analysis as well. Rindou came to mind for some reason

Chigiri is pretty! I can't stress enough on how he looks good and I even figured the footballer he is based on- Reo is officially Nagi's caretaker; so mature.

Oml i'm making a reputation for myself with the angst i write... but there's the thing; for every angsty piece i write, i always make sure to put a sequel that is equally satisfying and comforting (in a weird way and not in the complete lovey dovey way) it takes time to make those because if I rush it, it doesn't end well with me being angry about the low quality I wrote and the readers being unsatisfied as well... but yeah I know what I wanna write for Bachira and Kaiser (yes. Kaiser is arriving on his royally spoilt ass on this blog)

Going back to the fic, so on how I write nagi I use a lot of the "..." cause I imagine him to be a timed pause speaker; as for Oliver. He is playful and yeah that made me giggle too. (its the 'cold cup of water' isn't it?) as for Rin go to horny jail *bonk* i couldn't imagine him to be the type to talk these kinds of problems out cause he is rude. and he knows it so he dommed his way through it (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) and i am not sorry.

So i know that my bio says 'part time model' but truth is; most of the content is based on my experience. like i mentioned before, the details of body positivity fics are very vague. But what I wanted to do was get down and dirty with it, expose everything and not keep it under wraps because it continues to be hidden yk? people can't openly talk about it when these kind of minor things do exist and they can cause a person's confidence to tarnish and maybe have other people think less of them. And I hoped that this would make someone's morning read when they're getting ready for college, uni, work etc. when they aren't feeling their best and need that kind of confidence... even if it is just from reading my works. and always, you're welcome !! it means a lot to me when my writing helps someone even in the smallest ways ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

i'm doing pretty well, working on some research papers and stuff, working out as well just having a slow and easy week and keeping everything in balance yk? Roomies are helping me with the weights at the gym- said i was a pussy if i didn't get another lift in. istg i'm gonna smack their ass with a wet towel this week

As for uni, new story. Another classmate of mine, lets call him victor, tall as a tree just walks up to me during recess the other day and goes 'that is one ugly shirt.' he looks like he hasn't even showered for a month and turned up to class wearing pajamas. fucking. pajamas. ugh. (I did tell him that if that's the way he flirts, I'm surprised his ex didn't break up with him sooner- i am not sorry. )

Some of my favorite things... hm. That's a tough one.

I like rainy days, dogs (i want a cerberus so badly- ⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝; i'm good with cats but some of them like to scratch me for some reason?- childhood memory unlocked), pink shirts - i have a lot of them and my roomie steals them, warm blankets, swimming, basketball (i play), red roses, oceans, perfumes, plushies, bears and whales, music, working out, sketching, traveling, reading and just... talking to people.

Shows : I was watching skam (not the french one- the Norwegian one), normal people, extraordinary attorney woo young woo, dark (that. show.), sense8 is on my watchlist- i did watch a bit of it but never got to complete it, the tail of the nine tailed- i wanna finish it but it was stretched out and i didn't want to watch after a bit (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

My roomies are into k drama and they think anime is 'cartoon.' - when they see the budget used int he eps tho (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Anime : there is a lot since I've been watching anime since i was 5, Zatchbell/ gashbell was my first and i watch it sometimes, sailormoon, bleach (never got completed), Jojo's bizarre adventure (watched it all the way to stone ocean- god. the joestar fam is so blessed, Lisalisa (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) , Tokyo rev (i was watching it with my mom and she got mad when I watched an ep without her), death note (my dad got invested with it and then dropped it- let me see if i can get him to watch bllk this christmas cause he is a football maniac), kaichou wa maid sama (my fav misaki is my idol), blue exorcist, hanayori no dango (this was used to make boys over flowers), kuroko no basuke, Kamisama Hajimemashita (my mom loves it -), Tomie, another, naruto, yamishibai, AOT ( my siblings just have debates about the whole conspiracy on the table and this time,,, I know its gonna be about tr) - there are a lot more animes so i might have to make a separate post abt that

Snacks : Since I'm part asian... ik you guys are (probably) gonna figure out a bit of my ethnicity cause of it Guava with chilli powder and salt. It tastes amazing and its healthy too; pears, apples. Pocky, pringles, coke (yeah i have an unhealthy side too) and meiji's yan yan a lot of chocolate.

Manga/ books : Blue lock (caught up with it), slam dunk, tomie, chainsawman, tokyo rev - i think i have some panels saved, black butler, bleach, your lie in april, skip beat, nana, don't bully me nagatoro - yeah i've read one too many manga (even that hentai one that released earlier this year) and I bought one- confidential confessions

Books : my fav is probably anne of green gables - read it when i was younger but it is still fresh in my memory, reading Sigmund Freud (interpretation of dreams...), memoirs of a geisha (a gift from my aunt), verity (something that kinda but doesn't haunt me), sherlock holmes and the hounds of the baskerville was my first novel, it was kinda a picture book.

It's a mess ik. but i mostly read non fic works as i grew older. And yeah it goes both ways! idm sharing !! ꒰ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ꒱

Tell me about you! Only if you want to tho!

*sending back big hugs*

Presenting Bachira in a b day suit \(//∇//)\

[chromes-corner]

Hey it's me >:] for the character bingo thingie, can, can you try it with Affogato and Clotted Cream? if you can ofc!!, generally I need to know abt ppl's opinions on those sly bastards <3

-Mid

More brainrotting 😌😌 ah my sweet sweet catharsis 💕

Affogato up first!

I. Love. Affogato. I fucking LOVE HIM YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!! Like he’s so conniving and sneaky that it’s lowkey comical and that’s such a FUN CHARACTER TRAIT. i just think affogatos a silly funny guy and he should be allowed to do whatever he wants <3

i marked wasted potential because i know damn well that hes never gonna be relevant to the story ever again and god that upsets me so deeply. like i said up there affogato is just FUN. i love the way he talks and how he enunciates everything to sound as evil as possible. i want him to read me bedtime stories about murder and betrayal. 

god i want to know more about his upbringing, because what we do know is SO INTERESTING AND GODDDDD IT MAKES CACAO OUT TO BE SUCH A SHIT KING AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! like i can ONLY assume that it was because of cacao’s shitass kinglyness that affogato became the way he is. maybe this is just me making long winded headcanons about things, but in my eyes, because cacao was so focused on defenses and such, he neglected the other tribes of the kingdom which eventually led them to ruin. affogato grew up with NOTHING, poor as dirt along with every other coffee tribe denizen, thus leading him on this epic mission for revenge and regicide. oh what a guy. you go boo <3

for the love of god i want more on affogato. hes so funny but hes also kinda tragic oh what a little guy... i want him to eat out of my hand and then tell me im filth beneath his shoe.............

ummmmmmmmmmmm i dont like clotted cream. yeah erm uh sorry.

ok actually its kinda weird. i have a really strong love-hate relationship with clotted cream. i like him BECAUSE i dislike him so much. i want to step on this twink. i want to wreck his shit and punch him in the face. hes a stupid manipulative politician (i said the same word twice there) and i want him to lovingly fall into a pit of spikes.

that being said, I LIKE SEEING HOW HE INTERACTS WITH OTHERS!!!!! like by himself hes a shithead and i want him to take a nap forever, but when hes actively putting on the charms to manipulate other people??? fuck yeah honestly give that to me. he has really good fucking writing and i appreciate that the story is making me hate him. like go off bro convince those old geezers to give their weapons of mass destruction to you. 

and i cant mention clotted cream without screaming about his design. HES SO DUMB LOOKING. HE LOOKS LIKE SOME GUY. SOME FUCKIN SCHMO!!!!!!!!!! if someone didnt look closely they wouldnt even know hes supposed to be a food!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no anime boys in my pastry game thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i put a question mark over the deeper than they seem question because we still dont know everything about the guy yet. who knows. maybe therell be a twist in these next few story updates that make me love him. maybe ill fall deeper into my pit of hatred. im excited to see the outcome nonetheless.

[m-feys]

OK NEURODIVERGENT GAANG TIME BC I WANNA

these hcs are kinda halfway set in a modern au bc thats my context for this ! (gonna split it up so its not as long bc i drafted the original and it was LONG) water tribe siblings first !!!

Sokka

adhd/autism king 😌

[ID: a screenshot of Sokka standing on a raised stone platform with a map of the Fire nation hanging behind him. He’s holding his arms stiffly by his side with a wide-eyed look on his face, brows raised as he has his mouth open, saying something. End ID.]

- schedules to survive, he likes to know what hes getting into and if you try to change plans on him without warning he’ll be very resistant

- smart kid who doesnt study, oh he tries, oh boy does he try, he ends up reading the same sentence over and over until he gets distracted by drawing something, working on the blueprint for his latest invention, or with researching something completely unrelated to what he’s mean to be studying. then he tosses and turns all night because he’s stressed by not having studied, but when he actually takes the test he makes a 105, despite there not even being a bonus question, he just answered the essay question so well the teacher gave him an extra 5 points

- special interests?? we got em!!! classic weaponry (think swords, boomerangs, but also, like canons and catapults and shit) engineering/physics, art/drawing, strategy games. he tends to hyperfocus within his special interests, so like for a week he was hellbent on building his own full sized trebuchet, much to the dismay of Gran Gran who just wanted to grow her tomatoes without them being crushed by said full size trebuchet

- (also he plays all types of games probably, but he def plays those ones where you take over the world, like the ones online and azula also plays them too and they end up being rivals, while not actually knowing who the other is outside of their usernames)

- he also talks a lot in his classes/is like the ‘class clown’ and ppl think this is him not focusing but engaging this way actually helps him focus way more than sitting silently, a lot of teachers dont understand it but the ones who do are actually paying attention and realize that he’s generally talking/joking about their current topic

- some observations (this shit is all canon babey!!!) - sokka is great at being a leader and communicating in groups he’s in but he really really struggles in front of crowds, one-on-one and sokka can talk well, joke and stuff but as soon as he’s separate from other people and everyone is just listening he clams up (solar eclipse pt 1). he also loves to joke and make people laugh, and a lot of the time he misinterprets stuff because he’s autistic but he also will realize this and do it anyway because he thinks it’s funny and he likes laughing with his friends (idk if this happens in canon but i do this and sokka does too bc i said so :^). He also takes up the protector/comforting role but despite his best intentions he can sometimes say insensitive stuff and not even realize what he’s done to upset people (when he happily told aang ‘the whole world thinks your dead!’) works best when he feels needed, if he feels unnecessary or like something doesnt matter he struggles to complete it (i feel like the beginning of sokka’s master rlly demonstrates what i mean here), and this goes both ways, he will put too much value into certain things that he cares about and can get his priorities mixed if he’s focused too much on what he believes matters more than what might be most pressing (zuko destroyed his suki sculpture, oh right bc he was attacking aang)

Katara

she also has adhd/autism, (so do both Hakoda and Kya 💙)

[ID: a screenshot of Katara, Hakoda, Sokka, and Bato. Hakoda has his hand on Katara’s shoulder as they both look at Bato who is saying something, she has curious look on her face with her brows raised, while Hakoda looks exasperated. Sokka beside him his also looking curiously up at Bato, with one brow raised and the other furrowed. Bato has a neutral expression on his face as he speaks. End ID.]

- palms sweaty thoughts spaghetti, she tries to be practical bc she thinks someone needs to be but really her brain is like a runaway train, she sees something that needs doing and is like, guess ill do that now! and drops whatever she was doing first. she can get very anxious because of this because all the thing that need doing start to pile up because theyre all in her brain at once. that and as much as she tries to be practical she’s very impulsive, getting help from other people really helps alleviate this stuff

- interacting w ppl, when she was only part of her own smaller community she had a lot less toll on her, bc she knew everyone and was used to them, as she meets more people she gets really frustrated with how many people seem to refuse to say what they really mean. Katara is very straightforward herself and she says what she means, so even tho she gets more and more perceptive when interacting with new people, she resents how much she has to work just to decipher what people really mean half the time.

- caring for ppl, with people she cares about communicating is much easier bc she knows them, so she’s very open about her feelings around these people, and she can be hyper empathetic at times, but then sometimes she will say SUPER insensitive stuff off the cuff because she’s just very impulsive and she might regret it after the fact but she really struggles with apologizing because being wrong makes her feel like ppl are going to reject her

- perceptions, she knows what’s expected of her by the world, but she really rejects the idea that she has to stay in her role. still, she has internalized a lot of these expectations and tries to perform them, even when she sometimes struggles. beyond herself, she’s very certain about what she knows is wrong and has a strong moral code, she sees something wrong and she wants to fix it.

- she’s awful in school, not because she’s not smart, but she’s smart in ways that society does not appreciate. she doesnt care at all about all the worksheets and math she’s never gonna use, and all the history that got distorted, she’s much better at learning stuff on her own and she will go on deep dives of subjects she cares about and is super knowledgeable abt them.

also:

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Sokka with his arms extended outwards, palms flat as he gestures. He has a slight grin on his face with his mouth open to speak, eyebrows raised and looking at the viewer calmly. He’s wearing his usual blue tunic with the Earth Rumble XI belt along with his earth kingdom bag hanging across his chest. The text on the image says, “This post made by ADHD Sokka gang. End ID.]

[ID: a cropped screenshot of Hakoda, he has a serious expression on his face as he looks ahead. The text on the post reads, “This post made by ADHD Hakoda gang.” End ID.]

from this post (part of what inspired me to write these out) @meteor-sword​ now just katara needs one 😄

adhd aang next, i will finally live up to my url (will edit with a link when i post)

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

ok so as cute as this boy is, as well as we get along in person, and as much as i think there's a possibility that he's into me, he is the WORST texter i have ever met besides my sister lmao. after drunk texting me on friday he didnt respond to any of my memes until today (tuesday) so yesterday i subtly called him out for it and it went like this:

me: hey have i sent u the radio announcer tweet

him: uhhh maybe idk i think i saw something abt the radio but i havent opened it yet i'll check after work

me: oh lmao haha i do that all the time bad texters unite!! also maybe i didnt even send it haha (knowing full well i did)

him: i promise i dont hate you im just... socially awkward *visibly slightly anxious*

me: lmao mood like i said i might not have even sent it and just saved it after going "hey i should send this to [his name]

apparently he sees messages when doing other things and forgets to open them. which is a mood. and it still took him an additional day to text me back but its ok bc we vibe in person and i can only expect so much but also im very into him and i wanna talk to him all the time 😂 can't wait to maybe take him to that concert after work next week or see him in general im so gay

also realizing ive never had like. convos abt texting habits with most of my friends. nothing beyond me griping about always initiating but usually idgaf bc im a simple man, i see memes or animals and i send. so its curious that he jumped right to "i promise i dont hate you" bc how did he know my anxiety says that all the time?? also that means he cares. does he care in a friend way or a gay way? but he cares about me and that makes me happy. i have also asked if hes gotten something from me at least once before bc im annoying like that. just wanna talk abt memes w my friends lol. and my brain is still like "what if he hates me" even tho he literally said "i promise i don't hate you" and i can tell he meant it. mental illness is fantastic

i think that's all of my thoughts now i need to finish getting ready to go to friends house