#like im literally his wife okay
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lemmetreatya · 2 years ago
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guys please forever tag me in shit you do/write/headcannon about onyankopon ‼️‼️‼️ idec if u do it for clout, i just Need to consume every possible media about this man , its my lifeline atp PLEASE (thank u for this pic nanita omg)
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blackkatdraws2 · 8 months ago
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Whenever Stanley closes his eyes, he can feel the older man's aura surrounding him. [Blank Scripts AU]
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kafka-ohdear · 9 months ago
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born to say "i'll be your man", forced to say "i'll be your best man".
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invaderoli · 2 months ago
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Gooseworks what if I straight up died right now.
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ardentpoop · 1 year ago
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spn gave u yet another archetypical bad boy soldier boy james dean w a big gun and a chip on his shoulder and they rounded him out by giving him a wife to challenge his destructive tendencies and his overly simplistic (read: dangerous) view of his "job"..... but the wife was his brother
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italictext · 8 months ago
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Hurray!! My sister came out to my mum as bi/pan and told ma she had a girlfriend and it went well! She's not 100% supportive but we'll get there
#My mom actually found out about her girlfriend back in February but didn't tell anyone she knew#And although she knew she still allowed my sister and her “bestie” to hang out and even let my sister's gf sleep in our house lol#Our aunt also knows and she's supportive (which is not surprising because my aunt is a lesbian lol)#Dad doesn't know yet and my sister is not ready to tell him because he's more homophobic than ma#He'll probably be unsupportive in the beginning but will be accepting eventually because his sister is literally a lesbian lmao#And although she's a lesbian dad still loves her because they're siblings and mom and dad even bought my aunt's gf/wife a rainbow cake lol#But they did hide that my aunt and her “best friend” were actually gay from us during our childhood because#“ohh kids won't understand and being gay is inappropriate for kids and we don't want them to turn gay”#So like. Not 100% supportive but at least it's not “GAYS ARE EVIL IM DISOWNING YOU FROM OUR FAMILY NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!”#Oh right and my mom is bi and she told us it's okay and normal to like the same gender as long as you don't act on it#And talked about having a crush on a girl when she was younger but never doing anything about it because she knows it's a sin#I think my parents are more transphobic than homophobic tbh#I have a trans relative and they interact with her and talk to her but they always misgender her#I don't think I'm going to come out as trans anytime soon#There was this one time they were mocking nonbinary people and they/them pronouns and ouch lol#But yayyy I'm happy for my sister!!
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seariii · 11 months ago
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My type is characters that could kill me but would choose not to
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 8 months ago
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god they just. rebooted the show during s5 huh
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#did they just hear rick in the abcs of beth say 'maybe something about your mother' and go ah yes. we can use this#because the first three seasons were very much building up to a whole cthulhuian eldritch horror 'man saw too much and was forever changed'#kind of dealie. like man realizes just how little he matters. how common he is.#he sees the multiverse and it stares back at him and says 'this is what you will become. many before you have stood where you stand.'#'and all of them have followed in the footsteps of their forebearers'#like rick looks out into the universe and sees MILLIONS of him who ALL left his wife#and like. that has to fuck with you a little#whether subconsciously or consciously i think s1-3 rick sabotaged his own marriage#(im ignoring season 4 because god. what a nothing season.)#okay i do think the central finite curve is a good idea but i don't think rick should have invented it OR the citadel#i think the citadel should have been something which predated rick. like for as long as interdimensional travel has existed#and rick rejects it. which makes him the 'rickest rick'. because literally any rick who's anybody is involved in the citadel#and i think the central finite curve should have had something to do with time travel? like time manipulation#something just close enough to time travel to make rick mad#a time bubble which keeps every dimension in the curve stuck in time#years pass but no one ages. as an explanation for how morty and summer stay the same age yet a year passes every season#idk i havent gotten to the curve episode yet im kind of spotty on how it works
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akqrus · 1 month ago
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The fairly odd parents theme song was WAYYYY ahead of its time kajsjsksjskssksjksk
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tirednerddude · 4 months ago
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that one [1] scene between renee and kelley, literally the tiniest display of tenderness, and jane immediately: “Does Leo know? That his wife is doing his sister.”
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voulezloux · 7 months ago
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#proceed at your own risk i’m back again w/ more shit#had to text my therapist today bc i had like#come to the realization that i was craving the pain that i got when i used to sh#i’m not an active harm to myself i wouldn’t do it again and im not suicidal#but i just had this intense need to have the same pain i got when i sh’d#& scared my mom <3 & she told me to text my therapist <3#she told me to journal and idk how to fucking do that#so i have trauma workbooks coming in tomorrow as well as a copy of wreck this journal#i figured wrecking the journal would be the closest i can get to sh without actually doing it#idk my life fucking sucks rn and i want things to be fucking done i want to be future me not going through this#i feel like i’m being too dependent on bean for comfort and like that’s fucking dumb#i feel bad for just not being okay even tho i know it’s okay to not be okay especially rb#i also just knwo#that my dad is waiting for me to come back to him#hat in hand and tail between my legs to apologize for being mean to him :-(#bc obviously i’m the one who did everything wrong!#i hate being the 7 year old hiding in the pantry#i’ve been hiding in the pantry my whole life to make my dad comfortable#it also hurts to read back on the screenshots and see that my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me#like i’m not purposely doing it but i have to remember detials when i talk about it to my mom#and it’s just a big ol reminder that my dad didn’t refute any part of my texts#that said i never felt like i was important to him or that i was an afterthought or i wasn’t a priority to him#like he cherry picked things he responded to#he focused on me calling my sister the favorite child and the park i chose instead of like#literally anything else#he apologized for making me feel like an afterthought but never told me that i wasn’t one to him which ig is nitpicky#but he never once in any of the messages tries to comfort me or reassure me that what i was saying wasn’t true#plus he threw in my face that HES been through trauma and he was just SHARING his childhood with his KIDS#like thanks dad! say it with your whole chest you don’t give a fuck about what you did to me! or the affect it’s had on me#he ‘didn’t want to trigger me’ but dude you fucking made things right with your EX WIFE and not your fucking SON
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tangerinearchive · 4 months ago
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Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well
Some teasing from other drivers as well
And proceed how u deem fit
Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!
doctor lady | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader
summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.
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liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!
maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍
view comments below!
user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers
user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level
landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍
maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!
yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.
maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE
user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???
user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕
user4: i need a video of that right now
user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done
charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!
maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️
maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️
charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away
maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡
user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment
user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again
yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.
user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭
user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible
user10: literal nightmare material
maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO
user11: good lord #freeyn
danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?
maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME
danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣
landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?
yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.
landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH
maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO
user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭
user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh
user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW
redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓
maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX
user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing
user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…
user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately
landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN
yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.
maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!
user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??
user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card
user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, landonorris, 619,027 others!
redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹
view comments below!
maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞
user19: what??
landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?
user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???
maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰
user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn
user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?
user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him
charles_leclerc; so sad for max!
user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭
user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!
user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D
yourusername: no
maxverstappen1: 😕
user27: HAHAHA
danielricciardo: LOSER
landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED
charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING
oscarpiastri: that hurt to read
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU
user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room
user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise
user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭
user31: she can’t?
user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during
user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…
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maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅
view comments below!
landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?
maxverstappen1: ZERO.
yourusername: 10**
landonorris: TENN??????
maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞
yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired
maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?
user33: let the countdown begin
charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!
maxverstappen1: no you didn’t
charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN
maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.
yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!
charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!
maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕
user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate
user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??
user36: he has no shame…
yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working
maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty
danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP
user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?
user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met
user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird
user40: he’s trying to impress yn
user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE
user41: damn…
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maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!
view comments below!
user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN
user43: WE KNEW IT!!!
landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you
maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.
landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑
maxverstappen1: just say your jealous
landonorris: OF WHAT???
user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic
user45: he’s learning!!
user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????
maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram
user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????
maxverstappen1: yes
user48: oh he’s in love
danielricciardo: looking good max 😍
maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!
landonorris: was that a dig to me?
maxverstappen1: yes.
landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF
yourusername: looking good max
maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??
yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)
maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio
user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???
user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio
user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?
maxverstappen1: because i am!!
user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????
yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄
user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭
user52: does max just follow her around all day??
yourusername: pretty much, yeah
user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you
charles_leclerc: wow max looking good
maxverstappen1: thank you charles
charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?
maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that
user54: DAMN THATS COLD
user55: those cats are so cute 🥺
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 914,078 others!
maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰
view comments below!
user56: when he falls first and harder >>
user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane
landonorris: beat me too it
landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME
maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.
landonorris: 😕
user58: WE CHEERED!!!
user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months
yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷‍♀️
maxverstappen1: pretty :D
user60: she’s so pretty
maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.
user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before
user62: it’s unnerving
user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot
user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off
user65: LMAO WHY??
user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad
danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?
maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean
danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage
yourusername; yes
danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY
maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.
yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again
maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?
yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you
user65: HAHAHA
user66: max is just so unexplainable
charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 
maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES
charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY
maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH
user67: my lestappen heart 💔
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notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims
thank you for requesting!!
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bunbunlovestowrite · 4 months ago
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How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet
Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,
Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p
Tengen
He couldn't care less
His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud
Like it's not his fault that dick is magical
After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night
He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"
He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow
Way to ruin the mood
But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor
"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so
He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head
"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing
"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen
Sanemi
Cares alot
Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?
You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison
Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.
Anyways
Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible
Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"
Not kidding I can see him doing that
He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.
But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window
One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!
Good Lord was he waiting for this
It took one punch and the guy was out
Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living
Rengoku
He's a good neutral between caring and not caring
Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams
So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck
The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up
"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology
Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you
"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden
"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.
It works for a bit before he's yelling again
You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes
He's actually quiet in bed though
So your the problem (real)
Obanai
I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be
Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud
It's your neighbor who was the problem
A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns
You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over
He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness
Obanai cared at first but got over it
You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed
Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons
At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"
Brother is STRESSING
Then you cum and he's like "ah"
Then he's like "Did you take it?"
You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting
Gyomei
Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer
Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?
NO
Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.
And Gyomei loves it!
He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good
Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet
He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.
Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what
When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏
When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed
Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.
Don't worry he thinks its endearing
Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you
But your touches and now quieter moans made that better
And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard
Giyuu
Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed
Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color
He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips
If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will
Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.
But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet
You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.
So you nod and try to keep quiet.
You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?
Yeah that was you
You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."
And you couldn't help but laugh
Like howling
You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that
You've never seen Giyuu so panicked
But give him a week and he'll stop caring
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fallowfield · 1 year ago
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Mama was ALWAYS about being trans bitch!!! lets get you some fruit.
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haha. have power again
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angelicmemo · 2 years ago
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Why! Cant! I! Be! In! Love!
#or better question why does my stupid brain and even STUPIDER heart go oh ***** youre so sweet and lovely and talented and wonderful and i#want to be around you all the time and when i talk to you i cant stop smiling and when you hold my hand or wink at me from across the room#i feel so weak i could just collapse#oh ***** you sang song that so well i breifly forgot how to spell the word orange#I SAJD THAT#TO HIS FACE#HIS STUPID PRETTY FACE#and i try and see other people and i try and distract myseld and i try and like anyone but him and it kinda works! horray! im having a nice#time with a dude who is really cool and funny and is JUST as cute and smiley#and then he turns round and doesnt want me either#what the fuck#and the older guy the one everyone keeps telling me is a creep for liking me as if i cant make my own fuckinf decisions#DOESNT EVEN LIKE ME#hes talking about some girl and some concert and how he 'hasnt felt like this since his fuckjng wife' and im just there in the corner#trying desperately to be okay i dont even LIKE him like that i just want someone to love me#literally anyone please i feel so helpless#and theres this giel#girl#and shes cute and we like the same shows and she likes ME but shes only 18 and she reminds me so much of me i cant do it#what the fuck is wrong with me what exactly makes me so unloveable#AND!!!! i live with my ex and his girlfriend how wonderful! a constant reminder that i will never be chosen#im fucking bisexual AND polyamorous my dating pool is as big as humanly possible and still im here#personal
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