#Wanna know how I got these BUGS Caine?

[invaderoli]

Gooseworks what if I straight up died right now.

[impishjesters]

Agents of Cat-astrophe

warning(s): none unless you count Jax note(s): This gave me a good chuckle as someone who's consistently dropping more curse words than regular words, I'd imagine the system to just censor anything and everything that comes out of my mouth at that point. A/N: (In response to the requester) I wish I was taking breaks (I mean I am sorta), I'm fully aware I'm running myself ragged right now. But it's hard for me to stop myself... I'm caffeinated and chaotic and I don't wanna stew in my brain for too long. At least I get up and stretch every now and then. Request: Anyways, I’m requesting a Jax x reader (crushing stage) where the reader is sorta at the same level of meanness as Jax and likes to do pranks with him on the other characters. Also the reader’s digital form is a short cat that at first glance makes them look nice/friendly (obviously not an actual cat but yk what I mean), and they have a sailor’s mouth that is unfortunately censored but that doesn’t stop them (can also purr and does so when they’re content which is usually when there chilling in Jax’s room or with Jax in general). I think it would be fun if the reader surprisingly was sorta nicer to Kinger and has a small soft spot for him and does more playful pranks on him than mean/harmful ones.

When you first showed up, you looked so small and frail, like a literal little kitten completely out of place in this big colourful nightmare world

Ragatha thought you’d be like Pomni, and boy howdy was she wrong

You just ended up being another Jax—who you later met and found out was also an agent of chaos

Similarly to Pomni you cursed up a storm when you first arrived and the endless censorship that came with it

You have a knack for testing Caine’s patience when it comes to your sailor’s mouth, much to Jax’s entertainment. It’s not every day Caine loses his cool like that and you’re just a newbie, needless to say, you caught his interest

That sailor’s mouth also gets used towards the other’s and Jax won’t lie and say it’s not funny because shit’s hilarious.

Sure they all curse from time to time, but you just laid out an entire sentence that was completely and utterly censored. Like the system said “fuck this I’m gonna censor the whole damn sentence”

Unlike Jax who doesn’t show any remorse for who he pranks or how cruel they are, you draw the line at messing with Kinger.

Okay, that’s a lie you still mess with him but it’s not like how you mess with the others. Kinger has this sweet unstable dad/grandpa vibe and it kind of makes the place more homey in a weird way. (plus that man has been through enough trauma, give him a break, and talk about his bug collections or some shit)

The upside is that his mind is so scattered sometimes that using the same pranks on him always results in something hilarious. So you really don’t need to try for any new material. (he also really needs to consider actually using the lock on his door, he makes it too easy)

Jax considered you his little partner in crime the more time passed—not exactly a friend nah, but like a good ol pal that also likes to partake in joining him and his bullshittery

The first time he hears you purring is when the two of you are lazing about in his room, he’d gotten distracted collecting things for a prank on someone and heard the loudest rumbling coming from behind him

“Are you fucking purring?”

It’s a little embarrassing at first, you’ve uh, never done that before..

Jax has the biggest shit-eating grin, if he wasn’t using dumb cat-themed nicknames before he sure as hell is now

“Oh, like you don’t stomp your feet like a petulant child you overgrown rabbit.”

He does not stomp his fuckin feet like a temperamental rabbit, thank you very much (that’s a fuckin lie if I ever heard one)

Jax already had mixed feelings about you before, nothing particularly bad, just feelings he couldn’t place…that was until the prank…

He doesn’t know how you did it, or how he got so wrapped up in it. But you pranked him, and you pranked him good.

Oh, oh okay that feeling is new… butterflies don’t typically belong inside your gut, now whether Jax has ever experienced a crush before or not is probably beyond him. But these little butterflies are a bitch and it takes awhile of placing two and two together to realize he’s… caught feelings to some degree

You, however, probably had a crush on him for a while, perhaps really noticing it after the whole purring fiasco when you learned that it only happened around Jax

[thescarletnargacuga]

I got a new fanfic ideas.

Human Caine realises that he’s gonna be a dad when he found out that his wife (human pomni) is pregnant.

I don’t know if that summery is good but at least I try.

A/N: ngl, I've missed the human au

EXPECTING

A HUMAN AU SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: morning sickness, doctor visit

~~~

Pomni woke up feeling ill for the third day in a row, it was getting ridiculous. She kneeled before the porcelain throne with her disheveled hair in her hands, spitting up what little was in her empty stomach.

Caine came in with a glass of water and searched the medicine cabinet for some antacids. "You need to see urgent care today." He said with a heavy gravel in his voice from just waking up.

Pomni sighed and sat on the toilet lid as she sipped the water. "It's fine...it goes away later."

"It didn't go away yesterday." Caine shook out a few tablets and gave them to Pomni. "You could barely keep water down. You're going to the doctor. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Pomni had no energy to argue. She hadn't eaten in over a day and felt like she got no rest despite sleeping for over 10 hours. The antacids were at least helping her sore throat from the daily vomiting. She sipped more water as Bubble nudged the door open. The blue staffy sat right between her legs and pressed his nose to Pomni's abdomen.

Pomni pet Bubble, giving him the attention she figured he was begging for. "I think someone wants to come with us."

Caine spat out a glob of suds from brushing his teeth. "Bet he thinks we'll stop for a pup cup."

"Is that what you want, bud? You wanna pup cup?" Pomni rubbed Bubble ears.

Bubble's tail wagged and he pressed his face further against Pomni's abdomen.

Pomni hugged her affectionate fur baby, feeling better already. "We can stop for something on the way. Just because I'm not eating right now, doesn't mean you shouldn't." She looked at Caine.

Caine rinsed his mouth and trimmed a few wayward hairs in his beard. "I can't eat knowing you're this severely sick. The anxiety is killing my appetite. If you're ready, get dressed. The clinic should be open by now."

"Sir, yes sir." Pomni said light-heartedly. The lack of food made the nausea linger, but she powered through it. As lethargic as she felt, she wasn't dressing any better than a t-shirt and sweatpants. "I'll feed Bubble before we leave." She announced and went downstairs.

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute." Caine responded.

Pomni thought the simple task of feeding Bubble would be enough to keep her mind off the looming threat of another round of dry heaving, but the moment she opened the can of wet dog food she had to run to the sink. The water she just drank came right back up.

Caine could hear her all the way upstairs. He came down quickly, going to her to try and help, though there wasn't much he could do other than hold her hair back. "What happened?"

"The smell-" She dry heaved again. The dog food had never bothered her before, but now the very thought of it sickened her.

Caine looked at the half open can and Bubble standing up against the counter sniffing at it. "I'll take care of it. Try to drink water again once this passes. I'm starting to get worried about how hydrated you are."

With Bubble fed, the couple finally managed to pull themselves together to get going. Bubble happily jumped in for the car ride. Both tired and worried, no music was played on the ride to the clinic. Pomni clutched her water bottle, sipping from it.

Upon arriving, Pomni pet Bubble. "Stay here and keep him company. It's early enough that this shouldn't take long." She gave Caine a kiss and went inside.

Caine sighed and started scrolling through his phone to distract himself from his worry. "She'll be fine...stupid stomach bug." Bubble nuzzled his shoulder and he pet Bubble's head.

~

The waiting room was empty so Pomni was seen right away. After a quick preliminary check, she sat in an examination room. Eagerly awaiting the doctor. The nausea had thankfully subsided so she didn't feel like she was about to dry heave into the doctor's trash can. Being one of the first patients of the day, she didn't have to wait long.

A tall, heavy set man with a cheerful demeanor in a white lab coat entered. "Hello, I'm Dr. Kaufmo. How are you doing today?"

"Stomach hurts. I keep throwing up."

"Oh, dear. How long has that been going on? Have you been able to keep anything down?"

"Uh...since Monday, so three days? I couldn't eat at all yesterday. Haven't eaten yet today. It's just this persistent nausea that comes and goes throughout the day."

"I see. Have you been taking any medications? Have bowel movements been normal?" The doctor prepared to write down her answers.

"No and yes." Pomni answered tiredly.

"Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?" Dr. Kaufmo looked up from his clipboard.

That question hit Pomni like a truck. She hadn't even considered it. "Uh, well, I use protection."

"But you are sexually active?"

"...yes." Pomni answered with some trepidation. Like her having sex with her husband was supposed to be some kind of secret.

"Then let's go ahead and do a pregnancy test, just to get it out of the way. Have you had enough to drink to provide a urine sample?"

"I think so."

"Great. I'll have a nurse come get you when we're ready, shouldn't be a minute." He smiled at Pomni and put his pen away in his coat pocket before leaving the room.

Pomni covered her face with her hands, her cheeks burning. "Pregnant!?" She whispered harshly behind her hands. "We're not- I'm not- oh no..." She and Caine hadn't been planning for a child, not yet. They weren't ready. They could barely keep up with Bubble some days. They were both working to keep themselves financially afloat.

All the what ifs made her feel sick again.

The test was quick and easy, she got her answer in all of five minutes. "Congratulations, Mrs. Eden, you're pregnant." Dr. Kaufmo cheerily announced. "Now, since we now know what you've been experiencing has likely been morning sickness, I can prescribe you something for that. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids, and do try to eat when the medicine takes effect. I can also provide you with a referral to an OB-GYN if you need one. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Pomni could only breathe and shook her head. Being pregnant wasn't her worst fear or anything, but the unknown of what to do going forward was not helping her nausea. "No..I have a doctor...for that."

Dr. Kaufmo could see Pomni's fear and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Alright. I hope you have a good day, and good luck. Come back to see me if the nausea gets worse or persists through the medicine. I'll see you right away."

"...thank you, doctor."

"My pleasure. See the clerk on your way out about which pharmacy to send the prescription to."

"Yeah." Pomni made her way out to Caine and sat silently in the passenger seat. Bubble licked at her face excitedly.

Caine gently pushed Bubble back. "Down, boy. So, what did they say?"

"I'm pregnant." Pomni said it like it was a revelation to herself as much as it was to Caine.

Caine blinked, unsure if he heard her right. "What?"

"I'm pregnant." She repeated, meeting his gaze.

"With a baby?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah."

Once the shock wore off, Caine grinned ear to ear. "That's wonderful news! We're gonna have a baby!" He took Pomni's hand and kissed it. "A baby, Pomni. You're gonna be a mom."

"You're gonna be a dad." Pomni tried to share his enthusiasm, but her energy levels wouldn't allow it.

"I'm-...I'm going to be a dad." He said slower, like he couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "How did that happen?"

That got a little laugh out of Pomni. "Guess, genius."

"Okay, I know HOW. Believe me, I know how." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "But, I mean, wow...this is so unexpected."

"I know. I thought we were being careful. Are we really ready for this?"

Caine gently squeezed her hand. "I don't know if anyone is really ready to raise another human being, but I promise to be by your side through this. I made a vow, remember?"

Pomni leaned on Caine's shoulder. "Yeah, I do."

"Exactly." He kissed her head and laid his cheek against her. He basked in a moment of silence with her before he spoke his stream of consciousness. "...we made life, Pomni. A little one."

"Not yet. They're still cooking."

"We're gonna have to clean out the spare bedroom and make it a nursery."

"That'll be fun." Pomni mumbled sarcastically.

"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl? I hope it's a girl. Girl dads always seem to have the most fun. Oh my god, what if we have twins?"

"Jeez, I hope not." Pomni laughed.

Caine gasped. "We should invite the gang out to tell them! Oh, they'll be so excited!"

"Hold your horses, party boy. I am in no mood for a night out."

"Oh, right, sorry. Once you're feeling better, of course, but keeping it a secret is going to be so hard! I'm gonna be a dad!" Caine announced to the car. Bubble wagged his tail and lightly barked, feeling Caine's excitement.

Caine hugged Pomni across the center console. "I love you so much. I promise, you'll be great."

Pomni kisses Caine gently. "I love you too. We'll be great."

[theprincelyking]

TADC Headcanons (Mostly about their memories)

I’ve been thinking of headcounts for the circus. Just tiny parts of their lives that shine through in one form or another. If you want me to expand more on the specifics, let me know.

I think subconsciously they do retain some vague glimmer of their memories, which contributes to their personalities. And that small things can trigger something primal and unknown within them, for example:

…

Pom: “Ugh, we really are gonna be stuck here forever.” Jax: “Glad you managed to figure that out toots! After all, you gotta get used to the next how many years we’re gonna be in here.” Pom: “I’m gonna be old enough to be someone’s grandma.”

She looked over to see Jax’s eyes welling with tears, that threatened to spill out

Pom: “Ahh! Are you okay? Did I upset you?” Jax: “Ugh, right. Fair warning. Random words can set us off. For some reason, my body starts bugging out everytime I hear the word, "grandma". Tried to get Caine to fix it, but no luck.” . . .

But it can also be wholesome I betcha …

Ragatha was sitting at the table bored. Seemingly unimpressed with her plate of digital food

Pom: “…Are…Are you going to eat that?”

She slides it over to Pomni and she gingerly eats it

Pom: “Uhh…This place sure has…well food.” Rag: “Yeah. Nothing too interesting.” Pom: “True. I wish they had something more diverse…Like something seasoned, or something like desert. Ohh, I could really go for some beans.”

She smiles warmly at that

Rag: “I don’t know why, but everytime I hear the word "beans’" I feel weirdly happy. It’s almost nostalgic.” Pom: “Do you like beans?” Rag: “I don’t know. But I like that word a lot.” . . .

And some can be just plain weird …

Zooble was walking back to their room while Pomni followed

Pom: “So…What’s it like having…A body like that?” Zoo: “Hard to keep track of when your roommate keeps using your hand as a back scratcher. Also walking was a NIGHTMARE when I first got here.” Pom: “I can only imagine. It looks like a lot.” Zoo: “Yeah. It’s so annoying.”

Pomni nodded

Pom: “Well, maybe we could do something to get away from the others.” Zoo: “Not interested.” Pom: “Oh, that’s okay. Uhh, I guess I just wanted to forget about the whole…In a video game thing.” Zoo: “sigh I know it’s hard. But I’m not really the person you wanna hang out with.” Pom: “I’m sure your not a drag or anything. Ehh…I guess if you need me, I’ll be outside the tent. I think I saw a bunch of weird stuff outside. Balls, Board games. I think I even saw a pair of skates-”

Zooble immediately bursted out with laughter, almost falling to the floor, beating their mismatched feet on the ground as they wheezed hard at the word

Zooble: [censored] [censored] [censored]- Oh [censored], don’t say that word around me. It drives me nuts.” Pom: “Huh? Skates?” Zoo: WHEEZE . . .

And some are just…Completely out of left field … Pom: “Marco!” Rag: “Polo!”

They were in the digital lake, going on another one of Caine’s adventures. Thankfully today was rather simple. A pool party in the digital lake. Nothing more.

Pom: “Marco!” Jax: “Polo.”

Jax was using a giant rubber ducky to swim away from her immediately after that

Rag: “Hey! That’s not fair!” Jax: “Oh please, she’ll be fine.” Pom: “Marco!” Gang: “…Help?”

Pomni unblindfolded herself and could see Gangle, sort of stuck to the surface of the water…It didn’t seem like she could move. Pomni picked her up and she wrapped herself around her head, sort of creating a cute little bow on her head

Gang: “Oh that’s better, so cold…” Rag: “I was wondering where she was.” Jax: “I wasn’t.”

Pomni akwardly patted her mask and put back on the blindfold. She drifted in the water a bit before yelling out again

Pomni: “Marco!” Kinger: “I’ll have the Neapolitan cappuccino, More Cappa than Chino. Make sure it's got no more than 4oz of milk, The beans won't have the right texture otherwise-“

He explained in disturbing detail a very lengthy coffee order, which completely stopped the game.

Pom: “…Okay, maybe we should take a break.” Zoo: “I agree, especially since Jax is using my FACE AS A F[censored]G FOOTREST!”

Looks like Zooble also came apart in the water. And was not happy about it.

Rag: “I got your arm!” King: “…Oh!”

He paddles over with their torso, using it as a board to propel himself across

King: “Here you go!” Zoo: “…Gee. Thanks.”

They sneered a bit

[pink-pkmn-trainer]

looking way too much into episode 2

ok, to start things off, pomni's dream. it was, in fact, a dream about abstraction. and may i just say that pomni's voice actor really did a good job in showing pomni's fear using her voice

what ragatha says here is interesting, simply because it seems....out of character? she's being all sassy and stuff, so either pomni is a TERRIBLE judge of character, or....she thinks ragatha doesn't like her. which it would make sense for her to think that, considering she left her behind when kaufmo attacked.

but immediately after the dream sequence, we see ragatha come to check on pomni, showing actual interest in her and asking how she is. so she does actually like and care about pomni, or is at the very least she's doing a good job at pretending she does.

ragatha reassures pomni that there's no hard feelings, but it still doesn't look like pomni believes her. poor babey :(

aww, he does like bugs! how cute!

now we've got some religious imagery. caine is god, i guess.

oh, and jax likes violence. i'll talk more about why i think that is once we get to the actual violence.

the way he just rests his chin on gummigoo's back, that's so cute

knives. that is all.

what??? what the fuck is the figurine thing???

aww look at him he's so silly when he's trying to be helpful

ragatha has stuffing inside her confirmed

THE BACKROOMS

existential crisis time

hholy shit. no wonder goose said we weren't ready for him.

bucket

her ass is NOT a handyman

i love this whole scene. i wanna go in depth about it but there's not much i know how to say, i just like that she's trying to cheer him up

also funny gummigoo screenshot

seems like a pretty good time to talk about jax's desire for violence. this is still a video game, after all, and the way he's acting is pretty similar to how i sometimes play games; using it as a sort of "rage room" to destroy and vent my frustrations in. it would even be excusable if it weren't for the fact that the AIs are sentient.

now it's time to REALLY get talking

silly man with his head in a bucket. he mentions caine here, specifically that they can ask him for help, and it wouldn't be a stretch to say he may have asked caine for help with things in the past. which, while not very important or significant, does create a cute mental image. goofy little ringmaster being helpful.

what ragatha says here is SO important to her relationship with pomni. she thinks that pomni doesn't like her, while pomni thinks that ragatha doesn't like her. so they're basically stuck in a loop, a platonic "will they, won't they" where they both think the other hates them. this is the type of barrier that prevents a friendship from forming.

kinger is unexpectedly very wise in this scene, and gives her some good advice. this is the reason i think that ragatha will attempt to pursue a friendship with our little jester later on, only for pomni to be skeptical because she thinks ragatha's just being nice. and pomni's fear of ragatha secretly hating her is going to end up being the only thing that stops them from being friends.

it's also really sweet of her to immediately run up to her and check on her. i love these two :)

ok sorry for all the shipping propaganda let's get back to overanalyzing

this is what i wanted to mention the most. even though the NPCs see caine as a god, he's a bit of a cruel one. he has no regard for their well-being and only really cares about the humans. but i don't actually think it's his fault. he's an AI and he's programmed to care for the humans, so that's his priority, not the NPCs.

caine is described as being a "rouge AI", but i don't think that's the case....yet. i think he's actually going to go rouge as the story progresses, and eventually realize how unforgiving he's being.

anyways, i still want to talk about some other theories i have. hopefully there's still room for a couple more pictures in this post.

this line from jax in the pilot is my main base for this. obviously he's referring to the centipede he put in ragatha's room, but it's the fact that he says it right before he opens the door to reveal that kaufmo abstracted. no one in the circus knew he had abstracted until this point, nor did anyone mention seeing any signs that he was going crazy.

i think it's a hint. what's being insinuated here is that no one's going to know who will abstract next. there's no trick for for discovering the order they'll all abstract in, and there's no signs when it's going to happen.

(edit: i just remembered that kinger mentioned him acting weird but sshhhhhh it's still a good theory ok)

as for the void, when caine realizes pomni wandered out there, he mentions that she'll get "totally spoiled". i think this means that looking into the void gives you visions of the future, and that pomni knows how the show is going to end; she knows all the surprises and twists, too. it would explain why she looked so angrily at caine (possibly now knows about how little he cares for the NPCs), and also why she seems so lost in thought right at the end.

but hey, that's just a theory

A CIRCUS THEORY!!!

[spookyshoodie]

I made a TADC oc!! (Finally lol) at first, i wanted him to be a stuffed cat. I tried two different designs and decided that it wasn’t going to work at all. So i decided on him being a ragdoll like ragatha (that way i could still add his patches like i had previously wanted to!!) also, I appologize for the video quality being low, im not really sure how to fix that bc i was using capcut! Maybe ill make a speedpaint for you guys to watch!

His name is Star, becuase of his star button, also he in general tends to dissociate a lot and “stare off into space” as some people put it. He maldaptive daydreams as a coping mechanism, and I imagine that he has DID (partially because i want to project onto him partially because I think thats realistic for him).

Howd he get into the digital circus though?? Id imagine that he came across the headset in the hospital, mental hospital. Hes been there a lot, lots of needles in the arm (thats why the purple patch is there!!) someone probably gave it to him as a gift!! (The occasion or reason can be decided however youd like lol) when he got to the circus he was really confused, but as any kid in the hospital would wanna do the first thing he wanted to do was play outside. Actually hes probably ecstatic by all the colors and fun stuff around him, until he realizes he cant take off the headset, thats when he starts to freak out. Thats a big change to him, he could always leave his daydreams before hand and switch them around, imagine playing a “game” and then figuring out your not able to leave, pretty spooky!! He likes to make braclets and draws a lot. Those are two things he couldnt really do at the hospital, he probably bugs gangle to draw with him all the time too. He thinks caine is scary but doesnt say anything.

Thats all i can think of for now!!

Also no he doesnt actually remember the hospital, he just feels more drawn to the colors and playing and drawing and making things but doesnt know why hes so desperate to do all of it.

[collectorcookie]

My mhyk gender headcanons because i can and i will

Cain already suffered a lot coming out ouf wizard closet, i'm not gonna make him go through gender closet either, he can stay cis.

Snow and white ouji kings and especially kings of stagnation. Can't see them having been any different in the past. Cis guys.

Flores brothers are just. There. Just some dudes. Also cis.

Mithra has no gender identity however in my brain i think he goes from presenting as a man to woman for tiletta's honor or legacy or smth.

Oz is aromantic asexual agender autistic asocial amazing they are just A everything. Ancient being that remained dormant and then unleashed horrors upon the world and then went dormant again. 👍

⚠️Ms2 spoilers, skip to next one⚠️ brad getting thrown in prison and figuring out they're nonbinary will never not be funny to me. Ok baby congrats on your identity now reflect on your crimes.

TRANSFEM HEATHCLIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF ok but heath needs a character arc where she rejects her position that she got thrust into against her will. I know she wants to live up to the blanchett family's name, but i want her to be more truthful to what she actually wants to do with her life.

Owen is transfem in the way of getting your woman gender but you ordered it on ebay. It's a woman. Something is a little off with her, but they're kind of a woman ig.

Ok so. This is gonna get longer. But first of all, fifi is SUUUCH a stereotypical Eldest Daughter™️ in northfam. Second of all, the amount of times fifi was like "does anyone wanna see me as a beautiful woman" DO YOU WANT TO BE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FIGGY??? And third of all, i know someone is gonna say "oooh, but they can shapeshift, if he truly was dysphoric he would have been a woman by now" WROOOONG have you seen figgy? Lying about every aspect of her identity ever? I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying to herself about this because of how much she has been lying all this time. And forth, most importantly, the role of god imposed upon her is usually masculine because humans have daddy issues, and she wants to live up to human expectations, so that's another reason to deny herself her womanhood.

Transmasc Shino. He would listen to "boys will be bugs" on repeat i just know he would

Transmasc Nero just has that kinda vibe idk

Ms2 also convinced me rustica is a trans guy and i like to imagine chloe is also a trans guy because of that and that rustica helped him work through stuff and neither of them changed their birthnames 👍👍👍

Arthur mommy issues would hit harder if she were a cis girl. Even now arthur is her mommy the queen's child, not the king. Who cares about the dying king, it's all about arthur and her mommy issues.

Cis woman faust. Saint Faust Saint Jean d'Arc, that's all i have to say to that

Shymurr toxic yuri ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Leno sheep shearing butch lesbian (iykyk)

Genuinely 0 ideas for riquet. Peculiar lovable critter.

[averagedrakemerwinenjoyer]

rank the freaks. best to worst in terms of who has the coolest powers you would want if you could have one

okok i see your vision. taking the whole list from the gone wiki; i’m adding drake because he does in fact have gaiaphage-induced powers. not including the sequel trilogy or characters that had like one appearance bc fuck that

THE RANKING

Little Pete: he has the power of autistic swag and also the ability to control the universe, i guess? easily the funniest power due to how vague and underdeveloped it is.

Gaia: she’s got every single power (except for pete’s), so she’s just objectively got the coolest stuff.

Drake: insane regeneration. no need for food/air/whatever. cool arm. gun. what more can i say?

Lana: healing people is just a really nice power to have and would be useful in real life.

Caine: telekinesis is an incredibly funny power idk what to say

Penny: shapeshifting and bending reality is incredibly sexy.

Sam: haha lasers go brrr

Dekka: again a hilariously underdeveloped power, especially in the original series. good for causing some chaos

Orsay: she’s got one of the most insane powers. store brand freddy krueger core

Brianna: i mean i wanna outrun sonic too?

Duck: he’s only this high because his power is just so insane. like yeah i too would LOVE to adjust my density what the fuck is up with that

Sinder: cottagecore arc? with the added bonus of being able to heal people in a vegetative state. the fuck was up with that, michael?

Bug: being able to turn invisible is pretty boring, but it’s useful.

Taylor: teleportation is cool! would’ve been higher if she could take other people along, and if teleporting in the wrong place wouldn’t do /that/.

Jill: it’s a shame she had like one (1) scene, but her powers are really cool. would’ve been higher if the effect of her song lasted a bit longer.

Diana: her power is kinda useless after the first book or so rip

Jack: the least creative power, and while it would be funny it’s really more just inconvenient lmao

Toto: i would honestly hate to constantly know whether people mean what they’re saying or not

Astrid: her power COULD have been cool if michael grant. yaknow. used it for anything. very much carnival fortune teller vibes.

alright i think thats everyone lol

[tacticalvalor]

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TAGGED BY: @vendettavalor TAGGING: you!! if you read this, feel free to steal this and tag me in it <3

MUSE PLAYLIST || APOLLYON

► MAIN: Brutus - The Buttress

↳ My name is Brutus and my name means heavy, so with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy. My whole life you were a teacher and friend to me; Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy. I too have a destiny! This death will be art! The people will speak of this day from near and afar. This event will be history, and I'll be great too; I don't want what you had—I wanna be you.

► SILLY: When I Rule the World - Liz

↳ When I rule the world, then I'm gonna make you sweat, dog collar 'round your neck, on your knees and scrub the deck. Oh, there's a spot over there, so I'll drag you by the hair. So scrub it, rub it, whip it, dry it, 'till I tell you to stop. When I'm on the throne, it's a total freak zone; You can call me mommy and I'll throw a dog a bone.

► DETERMINATION: Run Boy Run - Woodkid

↳ Run, boy, run! This world is not made for you. Run, boy, run! They're trying to catch you. Run, boy, run! Running is a victory. Run, boy, run! Beauty lies behind the hills.

► BATTLE: Autotheist - Baby Bugs

↳ Dear God up in heaven: How do I fucking get in? You tried to make me scared of hell, but I'm living there. I'm living there. And if I was God, I'd kill the people who believe in me. And if I was God, I'd make everybody bow to me. And who says that I'm not God? I am God to me. And if I was God, I'd make you all believe in me.

► SAD: God Complex - Violent Vira

↳ I wanna be the true savior, the one with the terrible demise. I wanna be the Messiah, Pariah, the one who never dies […] Darling, won't you just plead, or should I begin to bleed? God, I could try to be the one. To be the one. I'll tear down the sky. What do you want?

► RELAXED: It's Ok, You're Ok - Bonjr

↳ // No lyrics to this one, but I think it fits Apollyon's character because of that. When she does have moments of peace, there isn't much to be said about them. As for the tone of the music itself, it's still got an energy to it. Like it could be thrown over a battle scene, if you catch the vibe. And that, again, I think fits her character. Even when relaxed, there's that drive.

► CONTEMPLATIVE: Blood Upon the Snow - Bear McCreary & Hozier

↳ To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence. The bear that keeps to his own line. The wolf that seeks always his own kind. The world that hardens as the harsher wind holds. The parent forced to eat its young before it grows. Every bird, gone unheard, starving where the ground has froze.

► HAPPY: Schism - TOOL

↳ I know the pieces fit, 'cause I watched them fall away, mildewed and smoldering; Fundamental differing. Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers' souls in motion. Disintegrating as it goes, testing our communication.

► HARD WORK MONTAGE: Shut Eye - Stealing Sheep

↳ You should've got a better bed, better for your head, better heads need shut eye. You should've got out of the red, in the red you're better off dead; deader than the red dead sea, promise to me, promise me the sea.

► LOVE THEME: Cigarettes & Feelings - The Haunt

↳ You got me stumbling; You never give me a break. I know one day this thing will kill me. You're my favorite mistake […] I know you see me there. You're always playing this game. You've got me breathless, got me begging you to drive me insane. I always fall for the things that will hurt me.

► BREAKUP / HEARTBREAK: Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons

↳ Touch my mouth and hold my tongue. I'll never be your chosen one. I'll be home, safe and tucked away. You can't tempt me if I don't see the day […] I'll never wear your broken crown. I took the road, and I fucked it all away. Now, in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace?

► FAILURE / DEFEAT: Ptolemaea - Ethel Cain

↳ Suffer does the wolf, crawling to thee. Promising a big fire, any fire, saying I'm the one; he's gonna take me. I'm on fire, I'm on fire, I'm on fire. Suffering is nigh, drawing to me, calling me the one; I'm the white light, beautiful, finite. Even the iron still fears the rot, hiding from something I cannot stop. Walking on shadows, I can't lead him back.

► FINAL BATTLE: REVIVED - Derivakat

↳ Driving off the tracks, but I'm back, and I've seen Hell, but this is more my style. I'm alive, I'm revived, I survived, you surprised? Gonna cry about it? You should see the other guy. I'm returned, and I've waited my turn, a decade of time to make everything mine.

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Beach day with the Slashers

Female Reader -Bo- Gender-neutral -everyone else-

Bo- Fingering but no penetration. Dirty talk.

Angst and Fluff with Herbert and Dan (They pronouns used for Y/N) Fluff with Michael and Jason.

Michael Myers (1978 with the extra height of the 2018 one)

> Wants to visit the beach during the day. He’ll even have his mask off. Instead of enjoying the beautiful view of the sun hitting the blue ocean, you spend your day staring at your handsome boyfriend.

> Michael is just there to scan for new victims. He kills people who litter, hates seeing wrappers and cigarette butts littered across nature.

> You egg him on to go swimming, it takes a lot of coaxing. “Please, Michael, just for a little bit.” He points to your belongings on the towel, “They’ll be fine, who’s gonna want to steal some sandwiches and some towels?” He shook his head. You got down on your knees and gave him sad puppy dog eyes. He grumbled then lifted you onto his shoulder, you squealed as you placed your hands on his firm back, rubbing his taut muscles.

> When he got up to his pecs in the water he threw you in. You came up for air, “Mikey, what the hell!?”

> “What? You wanted in the water.” He gave a small smile.

> He made you swim in front of the beach while he just stood in the water and watched. He knew you’d be fine, it was your belongings he was worried for. You caught his eyes, his already dark blue eyes were now matching the deepest parts of the ocean. He barreled through the water, pushing you aside. You watched him as he made his way up onto the beach.

> Some fuck had the bright idea to do some stealing. He just happens to choose the one man’s belongings you don’t fuck with.

> Before that guy had time to react to a six-foot-three man, hauling ass like he is a tiger chasing after a deer, Michael clocked him so hard in the face the man immediately went down.

> People stood around Michael, some congratulating him for knocking out a thief, others gawked “My God he swung that punch so hard.” “Is the thief even breathing?” Michael stood over your belongings, and turned back towards you, just making your way out of the ocean. Michael was mad, but not as mad at what he saw next.

> Some random beach Chad made his way over to you, “Yo, that was wild huh?” You gave a quick, “Ya.” not caring to speak to him, just wanted to get back to your boyfriend. “He just knocked that guy out in one punch.” You made your way up the beach, he grabbed at you “Hey, be careful, probably want to stay aw-”

>The poor sap never stood a chance, Michael swung his fist so hard Chad went flying back into the water.

> “I’ve had enough, we're leaving.”

> You were gonna protest, but when you scanned the crowd, you realized that yeah, we’re gonna go home.

> Walking back home, Michael held your hand, tightly. “Mikey?” He grunts, “You don’t like people touching your belongings, huh?” You turned to look up at him and he caught you in a kiss. He snuck his tongue in, dominating yours, you moaned and he pulled away. You whined and he smiled.

> “what’s mine is mine.”

Jason Voorhees

> He’s the beach’s lifeguard, so if you wanna spend a beach day with Jason, you’ll have to do it after hours. You would, but Jason takes the evening shifts too.

> Everybody loved Jason. Kids loved him, he was always so nice to them after all. He gave them swimming lessons. He was always so patient with them, never getting mad if a kid was struggling to grasp the basics.

> Men and Women loved Jason. His stoic demeanor, his calming presence...his bulging muscles. Jason was oblivious to all kinds of flirting. “Your hands are like, so big!” said a bubbly tanned beach bunny. Jason just grunts. A muscle-bound beach bro asked, “Bet you lift a lot eh, what’s your macros?” Jason just looked at his large bicep, he shrugged.

> When you visit him at work he gives you small waves then his eyes go right back to the water, not wanting to miss anything. Dedicated <3

> He doesn’t take a proper lunch break, he’ll eat his food while watching the beach, scarfing down the food as fast as possible.

> After a long day, you’ll finally have Jason all to yourself.

> Night swimming!

> You and Jason have splash fights, that he often wins, his large palms create huge splashes that knock you back into the water.

> Keeps you incredibly close in the water, will bug you to wear a life jacket if you ever swam without him. He’s very protective.

> Holds you close to him the further out you go. He won’t let you go, so it’s the perfect time to smother him in kisses.

> Jason hums into your kisses, his large hands running up and down your back, the water and his hands feel perfect on your skin.

> Jason couldn’t be happier that you're together.

Herbert West + Dan Cain - Poly relationship or what Derrick Barry calls a ‘throuple’

> “Please Herbert, for me?” He grimaced at you. Don’t you know how busy he is? Perfect specimens don’t just end up dead you know? Someones gotta end a life! You sighed and brought out the big gun. “Well, Dan said-” The moment Dan left your lips, Herbert was pushing you and him out the door.

> You and Dan had a blast, building castles, collecting seashells, playing some beach volleyball with another friendly couple.

> Herbert sulked under the beach umbrella, nose in a large medical textbook.

> “If you come with us, Herbert, we’ll get you a grape freezie!” Dan coaxed but it did not affect Herbert. Herbert waved you both off as if you were two mosquitoes bugging him.

> You and Dan walked hand in hand, swinging them in between yourself on your way to the little concession stand. “You sure it was for the best we brought him, Dan?” Dan looked at you and frowned, your eyes were a little glossy. “He only came because you were coming.” You felt the tears rolling down your cheek.

> “fuck, Herbert, you little monster.” Dan cursed to under his breath. Dan knew Herbert gravitated more towards him. It’s not that Herbert didn’t like you, just Dan was there first. Dan never told you but he often caught Herbert staring at you, a softness in his eyes that Dan knew meant one thing…

> “I’m sorry…” You mumbled, quickly rubbing the back of your hand over your eyes. Dan shushed you and brought you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head.

> “Don’t be, Herbert should be. Some Vitamin D is much needed for his pale little body. I’ll talk to him, okay? In the meantime, focus on me!”

> Dan and you continued with the most fun day ever. You ate your freezies, swapping flavors halfway through. A little boy asked Dan to help with flying his kite, Dan’s height coming in handy.

> Herbert stewed in his spot under the umbrella, watching you and Dan have fun, “Hmph, wasting time.” He kept peeking from his book, eyes on you, how you smiled when you looked into Dan’s eyes, how you leaned in closer, head resting on his shoulder. How Dan wrapped his arm around your waist, lips on your ear whispering...God knows what, Herbert can only imagine.

> “They could just yank me away from this, make me spend time with them...not that I want to. But if they dragged me away from my book then I’d have no choice.”

> When it got late, You and Dan packed away everything into the bags, Herbert supervised. How helpful/s

> Dan had you drop a few of the smaller items at the car on your own, he made Herbert help with some of the heavier items. As your figure became smaller and smaller in the distance, Dan turned to Herbert, “You know, they wer-”

> “I can’t believe you two, frolicking about so openly.” Herbert had cut Dan off. Herbert fumbled with the bags while trying to push up his glasses. Dan fumed.

> “You mean act like a couple, which we are, which you're a part of. Or are you only a couple with me?”

> Herbert snapped “excuse me, you and Y/N are most certainly a couple, which I have no part of.”

> Dan scoffed and shook his head “They want to be with you too, Herbert, They do like you, They feel upset with how you treat them. Now I know deep down you adore them, you best start showing it.”

> Herbert stopped, he looked at Dan and then at you in the distance starting the car.

> Later that night, Herbert had asked if you’d help in the basement. As tired as you were, you went to help. Herbert scarcely looked at you, but he found ways to touch you. Hands ghosting over yours as you handed him some flasks. Grabbing your hips softly to move you out of the way.

> “Everything good, Herbert?” You asked. His eyes looked everywhere but you. He stepped a little closer to you, His face only a foot away.

> He smashed his lips onto yours and wrapped you up in his arms. His hands rubbing along your sides, pulling you in so tight you were surprised he was strong enough to bring pain that way.

> “Don’t cry over me. Okay?” Your face felt hot, you nodded. “You are mine too, not just Dan’s, okay?” You nodded again. “Good. Now kiss me.”

> The kiss started tender but that just wasn’t gonna cut it with all the tension between you two.

Bo Sinclair /Female reader/

> Lookin’ at all the pretty girls go by.

> Catches you catching him staring, flashes his baby blues at you, “C’mon darling, you know you're still the apple of mah eye.”

> Gets pissed when other guys check you out. Strolls on over and wraps an arm around you, sneering at the Chads and Kyles.

> “You just had to wear that sexy little number, didn’t ya?” He snarled in your face. You grabbed your tits in the cute red bikini and gave them a Lil shake.

> Bo yanked you away from the beach, you protested, hitting his large forearm, “Bo, what the hell? Oh come on, you act like a leech an-” He cut you off, his lips slammed onto yours, the kiss was teeth and a little tongue action.

> Bo had yanked you away to some run-down looking bathrooms, the paint was so old it looked like the original coat from the 1960s

> “Now, Darlin, looks like you’ve just been wanting to rial me up now, huh? Wanting those sons of bitches to fuck you?” He leaned in close to your ear, his heavy breathing making you shake with anticipation. He suckled on it, causing you to buckle at the knees.

> “Bo, no I didn’t wan-want ah, the- them to” You were panting as he made small circles on your clit over your bikini bottoms. His fingers were calloused but he could be surprisingly gentle.

> “Now, yah best be quiet so no one hears ya, understood, Doll?” You whimpered and Bo flashed you his pearly whites. “That’s a good girl.”

> You should make him jealous more often.

[the-siren-and-the-sailor]

On SCP-054-N + SCP-073-N

Dr. Clef never liked plants very much. They made his nose itch and his eyes water, they were overrated because they always rotted after a couple of weeks, and they took up way too much space. In fact, Clef couldn’t fathom why anyone would would want plants outside of necessity.

Thus, you can imagine his bewilderment at the overgrown vines, the tall trees, the myriad of flowers, and the hearty vegetable gardens that covered and surrounded his step-son’s new home. 

Clef huffed and began to trot along the winding stone path that led through the woods. A breeze ruffled his hair and he sneezed. Damn these hippies, he thought wearily to himself. Before he could script a rant to spout off at them however, the house came into view.

It was something akin to a log cabin, with two stories and a large porch that wrapped around the top half, leading to the front door. Every three feet or so, a potted flower would make an appearance, much to Clef’s distaste. But, he also had a job to do (one that didn’t involve home design), so he simply sighed and climbed the stairs.

As soon as he rapped his knuckles on the door, a mighty crash was heard from inside, followed by a rather loud profanity. Commotion continued to stir inside for a moment before the door opened, revealing a short and rather frazzled looking old woman. As soon as she saw Clef, however, she grinned and threw her arms around him.

“Cleffy! I was wondering when you’d come back to visit us!” she exclaimed. Clef laughed and put the small person down. “Honey, c'mon, Alto’s here!” she said to someone inside.

“Hey, business is just business, Daffy, you know the Foundation. They wanna make sure that putting you guys up here is still worth their time and money,” he explained as he made his way inside and to the kitchen table. It was now that another person came into view; a tall man this time, looking even more disheveled than the lady but still just as old. “Christ, Cain, what happened to you? A bug jump on you again or something?”

“Something like that, yes,” the man said, sitting down at the table.

The woman, Daphne, giggled. “Abel made him eat a spider when he was little. I don’t think he ever quite got past it,” she said as she ruffled Cain’s silvering hair and sat down next to him. Cain tried to shush her but she merely laughed and kissed his cheek.

Clef smiled. The two's appearances had finally started reflecting their ages a few years ago. Daphne’s hair, once a royal blue, was now a brilliant white, and Cain’s, once a dark raven, had done the same. Both now wore glasses, sported more than a few wrinkles, and Cain would occasionally walk with a cane (much to Clef’s amusement). “Is that so?” he said. “I’ll add that to the list of stupid shit you guys did, then. Do you still have that tattoo?”

“Ah, no, please, I wish you wouldn’t-” “He does, actually, it’s behind his ear,” Daphne said as she reached to brush Cain’s hair aside but he pulled away in protest. “Oh! And remind me to tell you about the time he-” “Yes, thank you, Daphne, that will be enough,” “Well, the past is in the past, Cain. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself!”  Clef chuckled. Some things never changed; they still bickered like there was no tomorrow.

In the middle of their squabble, however, a ping was heard from the oven and Cain got up from his seat to check on it. Inside was a tofu dish of sorts, accompanied by an assortment of roasted vegetables. Clef scoffed. “What the hell, Cain, you’re not seriously still doing the vegan thing, are you?”

“I am, actually, and it’s been quite enjoyable! Besides, I’ve had more than my fair share of animal products in my life thus far, wouldn’t you say?” Cain said, setting the dish on a counter to cool.

“Eh, you’re all a bunch of hippies, anyway. By the way, can you fill this out?” Clef slid a clipboard with a rather boring looking survey on it towards them. “Foundation’s still not sure if they want two former SCiPs living in the woods so casually.”

“Oh honestly, I haven’t been able to use the water for years now. And just look around. Clearly Cain’s curse won’t be causing any more problems,” she complained. She looked to Cain and took his hand, squeezing it. “Besides, we won’t be around much longer anyway.” A somber quiet fell over them for a moment.

Clef was the first to break the silence. “And are you okay with that? Can you honestly tell me that after being alive this long, that you’re ready to die?”

“The world will go on without us. We’ve had plenty of time here. It’s high time we move on to the next world,” Cain’s voice was quiet as he spoke.

“That doesn’t mean that we’re ready, but we’ve had a long time to come to terms with it. Whatever happens, where ever we end up on the other side, we’ll always have each other. That much has always been true,” Daphne finished Cain’s thought.

When they had lost all their anomalies, they had not crumbled; rather, they started back up again at their original ages, leaving Cain at about thirty-two, and Daphne at about twenty-nine. It had been fifty-five years since then. “And what if there is no other side?”

“Then it was a good life,” said Cain. “Wish I coulda robbed more banks, though,” Daphne joked. Cain smiled and rolled his eyes, while Clef chuckled, glad to have moved on from that conversation topic and onto business.

Daphne picked up the survey handed it to Cain, who dutifully began filling it out. As Daphne and Clef waited for him to finish, they talked about the Foundation and everything it was doing and planning. Cain followed along and occasionally added to the conversation with what information the Foundation was still giving him.

When the survey was finished, however, Clef got a message letting him know that it was time to get back to site. He informed the couple of this, both of whom were disappointed to see him go but glad he came. Daphne walked him to the door and Cain got up behind her to see him off.

That was something Clef had noticed a long time ago; when they were expected to be polished and adept, she stood at his side or close behind. But when they were just husband and wife, he followed her everywhere.

Daphne stood on the porch and Cain leaned against the wooden doorframe as Clef stepped out and said his goodbyes. Before he went a few steps however, Cain stopped him.

“One last question. How is my brother?” He said it quietly, almost like he was afraid of something despite knowing that whatever it was couldn’t hurt him. Clef scoffed. “He’s pretty mellow these days, and still living with that goat lady. Would you believe me if I said they have six cats? And real sheep? Really, I think they’re worse than you guys.”

Cain smiled and thanked him, letting him finally start to walk away. He looked back at them a few times on his way out. They waved at him a few times before going back inside the house. As soon as they left, though, Clef sneezed again. And then again. Yeah. Not much is set in stone in this universe, but one thing always was. Dr. Clef never liked plants very much.

[mothbug]

maggie i’ve been trying to suss out the plot of ur bug lesbians for so long please tell me abt them. somehow it got into my head that they were?? like jaeger pilots? please confirm or deny

i can’t do a read more on mobile so i’m sorry in advance (coming back here after i’ve written this: it makes no sense. it’s all rambling. sorry. and i just put things everywhere randomly so this won’t even be typed chronologically)

yeah there’s giant fun robots! most of them are normal and fine but like a few of them are very fucked up

so there’s four pov characters and at the start of the story three of them are on the same ship and the fourth is the target they’re chasing? only one of them knows they even HAVE a target and is trying her best to stall because she and the target were roommates in fucked up robot catholic school. the other two are playing crazy 8s and being romantic and also terrified all the time but also doing a lot of theorizing about things because they know SOMETHING is up they just don’t know what’s going on. Bc you know. their commander won’t give them any information. and also avoids them because she hates narrative parallelism

also the one stalling is also having her blood drunk by her giant robot. and maybe being mildly possessed by it? so it’s maybe The most fucked up robot. it’s also a giant dog and a good boy. and an heirloom of a fucked up family. which may explain some stuff but honestly i think nisa’s mom was just a bitch and it didn’t have anything to do with the robot she’s just like that.

and she’s stalling bc she Knows she won’t turn perovskia in she knows she wouldn’t let her get hurt she Knows it’ll change her life forever if she finds her and she’s just not ready to face that. but yknow she has to so it was all just very silly of her but when something will change your life dramatically it’s terrifying even if you know that things currently Suck.

somewhere in here Arkansas’s family is threatened and it’s. upsetting. and i’m not sure what direction to go in with it but it will be important because her family means a Lot to her. she has two very good kind dads and a little sister named Tinsel. basically she has the only functional biological family out of all the characters and they make me :’) I also think they eventually meet Idabel and ADORE her and since she grew up without parents it’s just a very strange and emotional experience and. h. they r Wives. and the Trust family is all very sweet and kind even if Arkansas struggles a lot w gifted kid syndrome like i think her dads did their best even if they fucked up sometimes yknow. idabel goes fucking wild at the arcade like legitimately bloodthirsty and arkansas is just like i love my furious and powerful wife

anyway there’s some (a lot of) homoerotic space fighting (which perovskia usually wins BECAUSE she remembers when she and nisa used to spar and can predict what she’ll do. nisa ALSO remembers this bc. ofc she does. but perovskia had to learn how to adapt after Events bc her physical health changed a lot and she had to learn to be more careful about overexerting herself and also now knows how to swordfight. and moves more fluidly and confidently. so what nisa expects to happen often doesn’t bc perovskia’s fighting style has changed so much while nisa hasn’t really bothered to refine hers. anyway) perovskia (the gay little target that does a gay little crime and makes fun of you to piss you off) is like hey. what if you all committed treason it’s really fun and sexy. and then her adoptive mechanic mom gives everyone spinal surgery so their bodies don’t shut down and they won’t die :) that’s a thing by the way i won’t elaborate bc uhh :( but it is why perovskia has all the. nerve damage and chronic pain. i can elaborate on the actual Pre-story perovskia stuff later bc i think about it A Lot and it has a lot of bearing on her character but it’s also. before all this. but anyway if she hadn’t been bleeding out on Slice’s front lawn specifically she Would be dead. and there’s some fun narrative foil character shifts that happen four years before the main storyline but i will not say bc i’m tired

after this is Vague in my mind but a lot of it is Perovskia and Nisa reconnecting and just. talking. but being weird and repressed and deflective about anything Meaningful. And I have written a Lot about this so there’s more than I can condense but it’s very fucking good and. Idk. it’s a big shift in the narrative at this point and they’re just Agonizing about their dumb little feelings and it’s good. and P doing some work to make their giant fucking spaceship more stealthy. and Idabel and Arkansas being really cute and also going THROUGH it because i mean. a lot is happening. And it’s nothing either of them ever expected to happen but they’re like. hopeful for the future or whatever don’t look at me. It’s just like. put all of these characters on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere in transit and they all Have to have conversations even if they don’t want to because it’s HARD. nisa is forced by slice to learn how to make pancakes

Slice makes stew. They’re good at stew and contraptions and having a mild new england accent somehow. also canonically back in the scrapyard they would make things like the knife wielding tentacle constantly and perovskia would just stumble upon them. slice changed the live laugh love sign to say die cry hate because perovskia made fun of it. they r her mom.

so now they do some fun fun robberies and various crimes and it’s so sexy and i don’t think N and P are like. fully caught up at this point or know where they stand, so there’s a lot of very fun banter and having to work together despite really being afraid but also yearning to get to know each other again and just connect with one another honestly and openly after four fuckin years apart. because they’re both so different now but also very much the same. horse staring out into sea MAN. the thing is there’s no direct like. reason for them to avoid each other (at first P was shocked and overwhelmed and felt a little bit betrayed when she found out who was chasing her until she found out WHY. oh i forgot to mention Nisa BEGGED to be assigned commander for this mission bc she knew anyone else wouldn’t hesitate to get Perovskia killed. Forgot to mention that it’s IMPORTANT she fucking loves her so much god DAMMIT) but it’s just. tense and there’s a lot happening and it’s just. Ghhhdhbnm and ofc I and A have picked up on it since P showed up but it’s like. ok so what is Happening here. OH AND ONCE THEY START WORKING THINGS OUT IDABEL DOES START BEHAVING LIKE NISA’S SHITTY LITTLE SIBLING AND ACTING FUCKING DISGUSTED BY THEM ITS VERY FUNNY. they’re like perovskia you’re pretty cool what’s up with this. nisa sucks and also is a bitch. and perovskia says SHE CAN GET IT. and idabel says GET WHAT? BANNED FROM OLIVE GARDEN? and perovskia fans herself and is like yeah~ and idabel was just joking around but now is debating between mercilessly making fun of her and hitting her with a cricket bat. but god when P and N just get to hold each other in silence and security and just be. it’s . they. god. fuck. man.

oh i know this is a space story but perovskia just straight up has a sword (and some knives and maybe a gun idk) don’t ask me why idk but it’s very lesbian of her and she does gay little flourishes and is just. very annoying and i like her a lot. she’s very dramatic like her alias was madame revenant when she was living in the scrapyard and just doing some petty crimes like. she embroidered that jacket herself nobody calls her that she’s just a goofball. also warrior cats exist and she makes warrior cat fan animations. that just has to be true so warriors has been preserved for centuries. also she was presumed dead for a while uhh don’t think abt it too much but she likes that aesthetic.

Idabel takes the best to this new life of crime they are fucking FOR it she gets a FLAMETHROWER and Arkansas is like. wrow honestly my favorite thing abt them is that they’re both fucking INCREDIBLE pilots. like they know what they’re doing. and nisa is really really bad at it btw she cannot pilot a mech well. but this block of text isn’t about her i’m talking about THEM. Their chemistry is so good they r just. 🥺. and they both become Fast friends with perovskia because she’s just pretty likeable?? and ofc nisa’s jealous bc a) you guys don’t even like me :( but also b) that’s MY friend. it’s very funny. honey of course they didn’t like you you were being very unpleasant to be around. but arkansas does rlly wanna be friends with her and she and idabel have so much sibling energy it’s insane. i think they’d abel and cain each other for a scooby snack but also kill for each other. because they’re tiny girls who will growl at you solidarity and also probably hang out and just destroy things with bats sometimes. they all become closer and get a rlly sweet found family dynamic it just takes a While. oh also idabel is basically the chosen one and can set things on fire with her hands but it’s barely touched on because i think that’s a really funny thing to just ignore. but i also think it does become important because it’s largely fueled by anger and emotion and. h. i think idabel has a lot of feelings ok. Arkansas and Perovskia bond over having fucking anxiety disorders and have caprisun drinking competitions. i think it’s just like. these people all have similar trauma and need people to lean on when things are hard so they stick with each other once they have the option to split apart because by then they’re friends and work well together and Care. auto tuned baby crying mp3.

Alia and Agent Variety show up somewhere around here? They’re Slice’s very cool wives and Alia has a Vechicle Collection and own fucking stupid race cars and stuff and I love her. perovskia is afraid of being in vechiles so she has to take a fucking benadryl every time they have to make a getaway. Variety isn’t actually an Agent anymore and I also love HER because she’s very fucking good. they started out as just contacts slice had but it turns out they’re all in love <3 alia is also actually a sports car racer like. unprofessionally. illegally. which is just very cool of them.

Also i don’t think it has. a very BIG end, yknow? it’s like, they’re doing very good things and are up against a lot, and I don’t think they like.. singlehandedly take down the government or anything because they’re only a few people. but i think they get a happy ending and get to grow old while making positive changes to the world around them. like i don’t think they’ll be able to solve everything but they’re sure as hell gonna do what they can. But idk maybe they actually do get like. some good shit done. but again they’re not. an army. they’re a bunch of 20-somethings and their rube-goldberg-machine-creating chaperone. but i think they should get a fun climactic moment so i guess this is all to say i don’t. have an ending planned. but there should probably be one at some point.

OH AND the giant evil blood sucking dog vineyard vines robot Definitely almost kills Nisa (or at least fully destroys her in some way) and. it’s very narrowly avoided and she’s very very weak for a while because it took a lot out of her. also the dog robot does make grape vines grow and uhhhh any grapes that show up are 100% full of the pilot’s siphoned blood. also i think there’s still some remnants of that bitch in nisa’s mind afterwards bc an old mechanical god is hard to get rid of. but it’s mostly ok.

Also the bug people are just. a thing. like every person in the most recent generation in this specific society are at least a little bit genetically experimented on because. it sucks there. and i think if your parents bribe the government you can be a little Less fucked up but yknow. everyone’s a little weird. this was an excuse to put bug ppl in here they’re just the folks who were probably the most fucked with and i have many bug people here because i think bugs are cool and i want them to look like weird little bugs. This was all also an excuse to give the main characters fangs bc i’m gay. i don’t think randomly fucking with your genetics will make you a bug in real life so do not try this at home or at all PSA

SPEAKING of the society ok it’s very much obsessed with earth nostalgia and stuff and very yknow. basic cyperpunk shitty capitalism you know the drill you’ve seen space operas whatever but it’s also weirdly oligarchical? and like? it’s weird and bad and kind of a corporatocracy?? and. fuck. idk man they’re a fucked up space catgirl greeble-y amazon with catholic imagery. The Academy is also a thing but. idk how to describe it more than i already have it’s just kinda shitty boarding school. And after a certain point ppl can get sent on like. missions and stuff? in their fucking robots? but again i’m not sure what For. an option could be that there’s nearby Shit and nobody can tell if it’s safe because space is weird? also it’s only about 3200 so i’d say like. whole societies out in space is a relatively new thing and there’s some weird shit going on. so they sometimes send teenagers out in robots to see what’s up and that ends SUPER well for EVERYONE. hmm something SHOULD be going on actually there should be some weird eldritch space stuff. it should be connected to the more fucked up robots. it should also be Core’s fault somehow because uhhh capitalism and lack of foresight? anyway here’s women kissing i don’t know things. WAIT FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW SHADY SOME OF THE STUFF GOING ON IS LIKE THE DEATHS OF THE CREW PEROVSKIA WAS ON UHHH JUST TRUST ME DUDE like they are NOT afraid to get kids killed which was IMPLIED but also like it goes a little deeper than that and uhh i don’t know exactly what’s happening. but i’m sure it’ll all fall into place eventually. basically it’s very fatt shitty faction vibes idk how else to describe it. man it‘s like. just. there’s stuff happening they have goals and ideals and there’s probably more to it than i know so far bc stuff happens but i don’t KNOW what i’m tired and have been typing this for a year i don’t want to talk abt the bad capitalists i want to talk about tenderness and girls but unfortunately the ways in which the girls are tender are deeply informed by the environment they grew up in so i do have to think about it even if they all deserved better.

i think they all get a cat or a dog or something eventually. like they all deserve it. i think the final home they build together is actually pretty reminiscent of the scrapyard house. i think they get to live there for the rest of their lives and. just build something small and wonderful for themselves :’)

also i forgot to put men in the story they exist i just forgot about them. there’s nisa’s one ex i already forgot his name but he’s mentioned i think.

[fairydust-stuff]

Tape  Banana Ash & Yut Lung fan fiction

Warning this is a hurt comfort fic with implied Non con and Major character death though no more then the actual show. It also has one of the most fluffy dark endings, i've written.

“ Ah Mr Lee what a pleasant surprise,might i ask the reason for this call”

Ash, Eiji, Ibe and Max are huddled around taking advantage of the fact Ash bugged Golzine’s private phone while he was in the manor so now they could hear all of his calls. They heard a couple about Banana Fish but this one was interesting to say the least.

“ You know exactly why I'm calling…..” Yut Lung sounds on the verge of a breakdown. Ash would be lying if he wasn’t enjoying hearing him squirm.

“ I see you received my video then” Golzine says casually.

“ There’s no need for this…. sneakiness between allies” Yut Lung argues.

“ This of it as a lesson an elder educating a youngster on proper respect,” Golzine replies.

“ I apologize if my pursuing Ash without your leave offended you in any way” Yut Lung was all charm.

“ All is forgiven as long as you’ve learned to be a little less arrogant” Golzine promises.

“ I’ll try it appears i have much to learn,” Yut Lung says with forced humbleness.

“ I want complete use of your men, you don’t get involved unless I call for you. Also i want more frequent meetings between us” Golzine demands.

“ Of course and i presume this mishap will go away?” Yut Lung presses

“ Yut Lung you shouldn’t presume anything” there’s a cruel glee in Golzine’s tone.

The group disengages at the dial tone.

“ So Golzine has some kind of black mail material on him now, that’s karma” Max laughs.

Eiji is wearing that cute devilish grin of his.

“ Maybe he got caught embezzling funds from the foundation. Either way it may reveal some weakness we can exploit” Ash says

“Can you hack him?” Ibe asks

Ash smiles darkly “ Oh i can do better” he dials a number on his phone

“ Hello Sing, you wouldn’t happen to know Yut Lung’s password for his private account?”

“ Try Cao Zhi, he’s one of Yut Lung’s favorite poets,” Sing suggested. Ash did, nothing “ Anything else?” he asked

“ Song of Everlasting Sorrow?” Sing said with a shrug

“ Still nothing” Ash responds.

“ Despair and Courage” said Sing after a moment.

“ Bingo, thanks Sing!” Ash said

“ After what he did to my guys, i want to see that shit fall” Sing said.

Ash hangs up taking note of some stuff to check out later he finds the video and clicks on it.

Golzine and what appears to be Yut Lung ranting around his own dining room clearly drunk.

“ That’s the blackmail” Ash feels very disappointed

“ Given how arrogant that guy is it does make sense” Eiji says.

“ Maybe we can get a few laughs out of it” says Max, trying to look on the bright side.

“ Or at least something to annoy him next time he kidnaps me” Eiji brings up.

“ Woah a drunk little cat” one of Dino’s men cackles

“ Not a cat, i’m a snake” Yut Lung hisses at Dino, the group laughs.

“ Do you always consume this much wine?” Golzine asks pleasantly

“ i feel sad a lot” Yut Lung replies “ wine make it better,” he adds with a bitter laugh.

“ Why are you sad?” Golzine asks in a concerned tone

“ I don’t like Eiji, stupid, Eiji” he pouts.

“ Oh” Golzine says.

“ You stare a lot, your old enough to be my grandpa. Dad old enough to be mom’s grandpa” Yut Lung laughs again bitterly.

“ Your mother was young then” Golzine says

“ Where’s Sing?” He asked quietly

“ He abandoned you for Ash” Golzine says with false sympathy.

“ I liked Sing” Yut Lung says “ Why Sing leave me for Ash” he whispers.

“ Ash is better then you”Golzine says patiently then goes on a rant about Ash as his wonderful creation that makes Ash want to break the screen.

“ hate him for it” Yut Lung admits “ i kinda like him” he adds.

“ You like Ash?” Golzine asks

“ He doesn’t like me” Yut Lung says somberly he stumbles and Golzine catches him.

“ Easy there lets sit down” he leads a wobbly Yut Lung to the large sofa.

Where Blanca?” Yut Lung asks him

“ You dismissed him you were angry, he only wanted to help Ash” Golzine says.

“ I want Blanca” Yut Lung tries to leave the parlor and one of Golzine’s goons locks the doors. “ Let me ou….” One of Dino’s men covers his mouth and drags him back to the couch

“ Now, we were having fun. Here you like wine right” Dino pours him another glass. Ash suddenly feels a pit in his stomach suddenly remembering that Yut Lung is younger than him by at least two years. Why the hell did that never occur to him till now.

“ I don’t like you” Yut Lung insists but he takes another glass, his hands shake slightly.

“ So your a pretty liar then” Golzine says, taking one of his hands and rubbing it against his face. Yut Lung yanks it out of his grip.

Golzine looks at him amused “ I prefer you like this, you're usually so cold and aloft ” he says.

“ I wanna go” Yut Lung tries to get up but Golzine pushes him down.

“ Shhhhh” he undoes Yut Lungs hair, the camera zooms in it hits Ash one of Dino’s creeps is filming, this was planned.

“ No brothers dead no more” Yut Lungs tries to shove him off.

“ Your not strong like Ash just a trembling, broken mess” Golzine smiles viciously “ I saw through your little mask from the beginning” he pauses “ I was going to let you keep it, as long as you played nice but you had to be a brat”

“ Here hold the camera” says a cold voice Ash feels a chill run down his spine at the sound of the man from the gay bar. He’s wearing a mask but Ash knows that voice anywhere.

“ Get away from me! H…..” Yut Lung goes ballistic at the sight of him, Dino gags him.

“ Mr Golzine that makes it less fun” The man complains.

“His men are outside as long as he doesn’t call they won’t come.” Golzine says. “ Its the Lee way to only obey direct orders”

“ I’m afraid Mr Lee I'm the reason you're in this predicament, see Mr Golzine wanted to get back at you and as someone who’s observed his allies. I noticed your quite the alcoholic, I prompted him to take advantage of your vice” he purrs, touching the boys cheek. Yut Lung tries to bite him.

“ Incredible so much viciousness in something so delicate and soft to the touch” the man says.

“ He’s nothing compared to Ash Lynx” Golzine scoffs.

“ Still, I will enjoy him, why limit myself to one type of prey?” the man smiles savagely “ And after i’m done with him you’ll be aching for his tight little body”

“ True” Golzine laughs “ I love nothing more than a beautiful boy in distress”

Max slams his hand on the pause button looking furious. This knocks Ash out of horrified stupor enough to close the laptop completely.

No one says a dam word awkward silence fills the room. Ash should have suspected he knew Dino but Yut Lung had always seemed so icy and vicious, un touchable.

“ He’s like you” Cain and Sing had said. Maybe Ash had projected too much of his own unstoppable raging beast onto the other boy. Yut Lung had worn the mask well better then even Ash ever had. Everyone looked at each other waiting for someone to say something.

“ Its all my fault” Eiji gasps “ At the manor the night Shorter died, Dino had me and Yut Lung in his bed he was going to…….but then the phone rang” he tears up “ I was so confused he seemed so calm about it…..i didn’t understand”

“ Eiji its not your fault” Ibe insisted.

“ I didn’t want to understand!” Eiji says quietly.

“ Its mine, I knew he was like me,” Ash confessed. “ That’s why its so easy for me to hate him” the blond confesses.

“ No! It's no one's fault but the bastards who touched you! My god at least fifteen in Golzine’s bed. I don’t even want to think about how young he started doing that” Max exclaimed. Ash calls up Sing again “ Hey did you find anything” the boy asks

“ I want it gone, take your guys break into Golzine’s manor delete, smash every trace of that video” Ash orders.

“ Did that snake capture Eiji again?” Sing sighs.

“ No its just a really bad video Sing, one i would never use against an enemy” Ash insists.

“ That bad huh?” Sing replies. “ Ash did someone hurt Yut Lung?” he asked tightly

“ You sound almost concerned,” Ash says.

“ I know he hurt my guys but i just don’t like the thought of anyone harming him” Sing confessed. Ash flashed back to a drunken Yut Lung asking for Sing.

“ i think several people hurt him” Ash says after a moment

“ I think so too” Sing said sadly. “ I’ll get my guys on it” he added...

Ash cannot distract himself from waiting for the phone call confirming the mission was a success. He practically jumps to answer the phone when it rings “ Confirmed?” He asks quickly.

“ We ran into some trouble. Golzine increased his security since we last broke in, then Blanca showed up. He really saved our asses. Yut Lung sent him to do exactly what we were doing” Sing explained “ That guy is so cool!” the fourteen year old starts rambling about Blanca.

Of course Yut Lung wouldn’t just take his assault lying down like a good boy. He'd act sweet and submissive then use his resources to gain the upper hand. We really are quite similar.

“ Did you get everything?” Ash asks a bit impatiently

“ Yeah do you want the camera?” Sing asks seriously

“ Yes” Ash says after a moment. “ Sing do you know Yut Lung’s number?” he asked

Sing tells him and Ash dials.

“ Blanca is that you?” Yut Lung asks tentatively

“ Its Ash, I have your camera” Ash here’s a sharp exhale on the other end of the line.

“ At least your demands won’t be as heinous as Golzine’s” Yut Lung sounds more calm now. “ Banana fish? Me to leave Eiji alone? Use of my men? Helping you disappear?” he lists

“ A meeting” Ash says

“ Alright makes more sense to do it in person” Yut Lung responds casually. They set a time and a place…

“ Welcome Ash Lynx normally i’d greet you in the parlor but….” Yut Lung trails off.

“ You can't step foot in that room without flashbacks” Ash realizes as he stands in the dining room.

“ Please sit can i get you a drink or would you like to proceed?” Yut Lung asks

Ash hands him the camera Yut Lung gapes at him in silence. “ You’d give up your leverage for nothing” he says quietly.

“ When i was ten i had several of these videos. I’d have given anything for one person not to have put them up” Ash responds.

Yut Lung takes the camera and says “ Well at least this inconvenience is over with?” his tone is light.

“ What happened last night was not an inconvenience, it was rape and its happened to you and i multiple times” Ash states bluntly.

“ Stop ok, it was just something that happens in our world!” Yut Lung insists

“ That doesn’t make it right” Ash argues.

“ It was my fault, I shouldn't have gotten drunk around Papa Dino” Yut Lung says brokenly.

“ I ran away from home and accepted a ride from a stranger. We all make mistakes, sometimes those mistakes are costly. That doesn’t mean the bastards that hurt us aren’t the ones responsible” Ash argues.

“ I think this is the most we’ve said to each other” Yut Lung says thoughtfully.

Ash looks at him “ Want to smash the camera?” he asked

“ Together, for your ten year old self” Yut Lung responds.

“ Together, one, two three!” The two of them hurl the camera as hard as they can at the walls and proceed to stomp on it until the lens cracks and the frame breaks.

Then Ash’s phone rings “ Hello?” he asks

“ You little Lynx retrieving my camera like that” Golzine chuckles.

“ I’m not giving it to you bastard” Ash says calmly putting him on speaker.

“ No no hold on to your leverage just like I taught you. Do you want a piece of the action? I know how you like Asian boys” Dino continues.

“ Hello this is a piece of the action” Yut Lung says in his soft voice then he holds the phone up to the glass which he crushes under his foot.

“ You smashed up my camera you little whore!” Golzine growled

“ Considering your so hungry that you have to tie down young boys to get action. I’d say your the one who cannot go without” Ash taunts.

“ i hope you got something good out of it” Golzine grumbles.

“ I got nothing from it” Ash informs him.

“ But that’s not….”

“ Not what you’d do. You may have raised and fucked him up and i’ll admit some of your terrible teachings rubbed off on him, but Ash is not you. He’ll never be the kind of person who takes advantage of boys like me” Yut Lung said cooly.

Ash looked at him in surprise.

“ Looks like the kitten grew some claws” Golzine laughed “ You weren’t so gutsy last night, though you did make a lot of noise” he taunts.

“ So you molested me, so what? You and half of New York. I had claws long before then. If I didn't have claws I wouldn't have found a way to get through every abuse, you pathetic old perverts threw at me. I simply learned to sharpen the claws, i was born with” Yut Lung said boldly. Ash watched his face change into something darker

“ You have no claws, you're a sad old man chasing a teenage boy. He latched onto because, he was unable to deal with his own morality. You're not Ash’s greatest enemy, creator or father. You're just a pathetic little groupie obsessed with an idol. Since the Ash in your head doesn’t exist, the fact he chose to save me proves it”

“ I’ll kill you!” Golzine roars

“ Your not worthy of killing me” Yut Lung’s voice dripped with disdain, then he casually hung up on Golzine.

“ Did you just?” Ash was stunned

“ You’ve been feeding Dino’s ego this whole time with your campaign against him. I grew up with egoistic people , i’ve learned how their minds work” Yut Lung replied.

“ He still has to die” Ash pointed out.

“ I have an idea” Yut Lung said “ I need you to contact Blanca” he adds…

“ Rather rough Blanca” Yut Lung chides at the sight of a beaten Golzine hanging limply on the wall.

“ I failed to protect you just like i failed Ash” Blanca said remorsefully.

“ You helped me get the tape, you were there when it counted” Yut Lung put a hand on his arm.

“ Jeez Yue could you be more obvious!” Sing rolled his eyes

“ You're one to talk practically drooling in Ash’s wake” Yut Lung responded.

“ Sure you're not projecting?” Sing asks The two of them bicker until they're interrupted by Golzine’s groan.

“ Heeello!” Ash waves in a sarcastic cutesy way.

“ Ah so the creation destroys its creator and takes his place to build a great legacy” Golzine gloats.

“ Hi you piece of shit i’m Sing soo Ling” Sing says smacking his fists together

“ Doesn’t ring a bell” he said.

“ Shorter Wong was my cousin,” Sing said.

“ You mean that stupid street punk with the mowhawk” Golzine tastes his own blood. Sing gears up for another punch.

Yut Lung pulls Ash toward the door “ Come on Ash lets go get some ice cream” the blond looks at him as if he’s crazy but see’s the younger give him a trust me look. Then starts to follow him out.

“ What are you doing Ash? Your going to end me right?” Ash almost turns his head in Golzine's direction.

“ Keep walking” Yut Lung mutters Ash obeys him.

“ Ash isn’t going to be killing you, i am” Sing says, punching him again.

“ What i’m the great King Pin of New york, that’s all i get ended by some punk?” Golzine asks “ Ash, Ash?”

Ash continues to follow Yut Lung toward the door “ i overpowered you, i beat you down, i made you!” Golzine yells “ where are you going, you drunken slut?” he demands.

Yut Lung continues to lead Ash out “ You're not even going to watch, i’m your greatest enemy and you don’t even want to watch my demise?” Golzine asks

Yut Lung pauses“ Ash, i just remembered i have a hair appointment, we can do ice cream afterwards right?” he asked

“ Of course Yut Lung” Ash says then opens the door. “ Hair appointments, ice cream Ash Ash Ash Ash!” the blond slams the door shut.

“ I cann’t believe that worked” Ash says as a gunshot echoes from the other side of the door.

“ I told you, people with big ego’s hate being ignored” Yut Lung collapses against the door with relief, his face tight with tension, his body shaking.

“ You were really bothered by seeing him huh” Ash says.

“ I can still feel him all over” Yut Lung says “ I can even taste him” there’s a look of broken revulsion on his face. “ I couldn’t let him win through,” the younger boy insists.

“ You did good” Ash informs him.

“ He won’t be the last, there're so many bastards in our world and i’m trapped here with them. I tried to become like you, fierce, ruthless to never look back or hesitate. No matter what i still end up helpless at the mercy of some bigger beast” Yut Lung confesses.

“ Is that why you want me to kill you?” Ash asked him

“ You have a chance at freedom, that's why I hate you!” Yut Lung confesses tears drip down his cheek. “ You have the power to live freely, no matter what. My blood is always going to tie me to this Family. The only way i’m leaving this life is in a box”

Ash turns to him “ You can be the youngest mafia boss to retire in history. In exchange you stop tormenting Eiji and everyone” the blond stresses.

“ But how would i live? As much as i hate it, i’m codependent on my family’s wealth” Yut Lung admits.

" Leave that to me" Ash promises...

" i cann't believe i'm taking Yut Lung Lee to Japan?" Eiji sighs

" He'll blend in better then i would" Ash points out. " Lots of Chinese people live in Japan its not that unsual"

" He hates me and i'm not exactly fond of him either" Eiji points out.

" Too bad because i was thinking of adopting him" Ash says

Eiji stares at him in horror " don't even joke about that" he shutters.

" You get to boss him around big brother Eiji" Ash says.

" Since when did i agree to that?" Yut Lung scowls clutching his luggage a very small portion of the things he owned. He'd have to get used to the simple life, Eiji told him cheerfully.

" You go to Japan your under Eiji's care, so you have to obey him and Ibe" Ash says.

" What if they do something stupid like make friends with the Yakuza?" Yut Lung asks

" If that happens you are in change until i get there" Ash agrees after a long pause.

" Thank you Ash, for everything" Yut Lung tells him sincerely before stepping onto the train that will take them to the air port.

" I have to sort out some things here, then i'll join you two" Ash promises. He stands there and waves good bye to both of them.

" Don't be too long, i may start experimenting with putting certain herbs in Eiji Chan's tea" Yut Lung yells out the window!

" i heard that you little shit!" Eiji yells back

Ash laughs then turns and walks back to his concrete playground his phone rings " Hey honey just finishing up skinning a Foxx" the man says cheerfully.

 " Good " Ash hisses.

 " Need anything else while i'm in town?" Blanca asked him

 " i need your help with persuading a certain Chinese crime organization to let the head of the Lee family retire early, without a bullet to the head, got any ideas?" Ash asks him

[sweets-fanfics]

Homecoming 10

Title: Peacemakers

Wordcount: 2425

Warnings: Violence, and sweet sweet revenge.

Tags: @rollyjogerjones

Remember to let me know if you want to be tagged.

-----

 Bear licking your nose is how you awoke the next morning. You scrunched your nose up and hugged him close to you. “You okay?” You ask him half asleep. You can hear him sniffing your face making you open your eyes.

 You scratch his head as you sit up and stretch. You knew what you were going to do today. Bear sat up and looked at you with his head cocked to the side. “I gotta do somethin’ tough today. I can’t bring you with me but you’ll wish me luck right?”

 Bear puts his paws on your chest and licks your nose. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You pick him up and place him on the ground. “Let’s get some food.” You slip your boots on and walk out with the little brown pup flopping along behind you.

 “Good morning Pearson.” You say as you grab a bread roll.

 “Morning!” He looks down at Bear and cuts off a tiny lump of meat he had been cutting and tossed it towards Bear.

 “Thank you, Pearson.” You smile and walk towards Suzie.

 You pat her softly as you eat the bread with your free hand. Bear lets out a small bark making you look over your shoulder. Arthur is walking up to you with a strained look on his face.

 “You’re already going?” He asked as he got you.

 “Yeah… I want to get it down now…” You looked down for a moment half expecting him to tell you to wait.

 Instead, he lifted your chin softly and placed a long kiss on your lips. “You teach that bastard a lesson.” You smile as he helps you on to your horse. “I’ll be nearby. Shoot in the air three times if ya need any help.”

 “I will, can you ask Henry to watch Bear?”

 “Of course… Y/N I love you.”

 “I love you too.”

---------

 As you road into Rhodes, you knew the best place to check first would be the saloon. The scent you still can’t get out of your mind is how that monster smelt like beer and whiskey.

 You walked into the bar with your pistol drawn. You glanced around as you walked up to the bartender. “I’m looking for someone.” You say in a stern voice.

 “You a bounty hunter?” He asked without looking up from the glass he was cleaning.

 “Yeah, anyone here by the name of David Santiago?”

 The man finally looked up at you. He looked at you suspiciously. “He’s one of my regulars. What’s his crime?”

 “Rape.” You said in a flat voice.

 “That’s quite a serious charge. Do ya have proof?”

 You aim your pistol at the bartender. “I’m proof. Where the fuck is he?”

 The bartender put his hands up quickly while his eyes bugged out of his head. “He... He’s upstairs. He sits at the game table all day.”

 “Thank you.” You say sweetly and head up the stairs. You stomp your feet a bit so you’re able to get some muddy footprints on the carpet.

 That’s when you see him. He’s sitting at the game table as the man had said. He seems invested in his game but when he sees you he grins and stands up opening his arms.

 “I knew you enjoyed it.” He cheers.

 For a moment you are too afraid to move. A flood of memories of him attacking you makes you wanna turn and run. But then that new anger you have been feeling rises up and you feel like a completely different person. You raise your pistol as you click back the hammer. His eyes go wide as he starts to back up.

 “David Santiago. I’m here for somethin’.” You announce as you walk up to him and push him onto the balcony.

 He raises his hands up and seems to start begging. Sweat is dripping down his face as you aim the gun at his head. “Please. Please, no. I’m sorry. You didn’t say no though.”

 “I said no!” You snapped, starting to see red. “I said no over and over to the point that you knocked me out so you wouldn’t have to hear it.” You had the gun pressed to his chin as he leaned back over the railing.

 You heard a gun click behind you. When you glanced you one of his friends aiming a gun at you. “How about you calm down you little whore. You’re just mad cause he didn’t pay ya.”

 Before you had a chance to rip that guy a new one Arthur’s pistol slowly pressed against his head. “How about you don’t call her names. Let her and ya friend there have a nice chat.”

 You turned your focus back to David. “Now tell me again what you were sayin’?” You ask kindly.

 “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I should have stopped.” He was crying. You glanced at him as he acted pathetically. That’s when you noticed the pee mark on his pants.

 “Seems you are understandin’ how I felt that night. Maybe I should when it felt like physically.” And before he could beg again you fired your gun. Blood and brain splattered on you as his body went limp and fell over the railing landing in a heap below.

 You took a handkerchief from your pocket and wiped your face off. When you turned around everyone in the saloon was staring at you. Even Arthur looked a bit shocked.

 “You all got a starin’ problem?” You ask scaring everyone back to their business.

 The man that had aimed a gun at you had ran down to the monster’s body. Arthur walked up and placed both hands on your shoulder.

 “Ya good?” He asks as you take a deep breath trying to calm down.

  “I think so…” You look up at him as he took the cloth in your hand and finished wiping your face. “I think I wanna go…”

 Arthur put an arm comfortably around your waist and led you out of the saloon. He walked you to Suzie and helped you up. “I want you to head to camp, I have to do another stupid thing for your father and go to the post office, and then I’ll come back to ya.” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He smiled at you and kissed your hand. “I’m so damn proud of you.”

-------------

 When you hitched Suzie back at camp Dutch and Hosea were already walking up to you. You sighed a bit but turned towards them.

 “Well?” Dutch asked. You could see him struggling to keep his anger low.

 “It’s taken care of.”

 Both men seem to let out a sigh of relief. Dutch pulls you close and hugs you tightly. “I’m proud of you, Y/N.” He says in your ear.

 You pull back and smile at him, “Thank you Pa.” You notice it seems he is leaving. “Where are ya going’ though?” You ask him.

 “Going to try to suck up to the Greys with Arthur and Bill,” He whistles and the count trots up to him. “Hosea make sure Miss Grimshaw isn’t too hard on our girl today.”

 “You got nothin’ to worry about Dutch,” Hosea waves.

 You and Hosea stand and wave until he’s out of sight.

 “You give it to him?” Hosea asks still smiling and waving.

 “I shot him in the head in front of his friends at the saloon he frequents.” You turned to look at him.

 “Ah, it seems you got the anger your father has.” He pats your shoulder as the two of you walk into camp.

 “Is that good or bad?” You ask as you grab a plate of stew.

 “Depends on the situation.”

-------------

 You ended up trying to train Bear. He got sit down but just seemed to want to play after. Micah walked up and kicked Cain that had been sitting nearby. “Beat it ya parasite!”

 “What the hell is your problem?” You ask standing up from your spot on the ground.

 “We already got so many damn mouths to feed. Why do we have to add two more mutts to the mess.” He gets up in your face but you don’t stand down.

 “You are absolutely right Mr. Bell. You should go first.” You say through your teeth.

 “Little fireball, huh?” He puts his hands on his sides. “Though your little accident in the Bayou woulda’ taught you enough of a lesson.”

 You take your knife out and start to go for him when two hands pull you back. “Say that again you dirty rat.” You threaten.

 “Y/N, please calm down,” Henry asks patting your shoulder.

 “Your brother is right,” Arthur says as he helps Henry push you back. You seemed to be putting up a fight by how much they were struggling. “Micah ain’t worth a bullet. They are way too expensive so you should save them for better things.”

 Bear is in front of you growling at Micah. “Bear, down.” You order. Your puppy instantly turns to you with his tail wagging.

 “Ah, cowpoke your here. I need to speak with you and Dutch.” Micah says as if Arthur and Henry weren’t fighting to keep you off of him.

 “What could be so important?”

 “Blessed are the Peacemakers.” Micah says with his hands up, “Or it goes somethin’ like that.”

 You roll your eyes and go to sit in Arthur’s tent to try and calm down. Henry looks at you confused. “Why not go to your tent?” He asks.

 “I’d have to pass Micah’s bed and I’m not sure I’d be able to not throw it in the lake.” You grumble and give Micah one last dirty look as he talks to Arthur, your father and, Pearson.

 You notice he keeps calling Pearson ‘fat man’ which just ticks you off even more. But when you hear what they are saying you get even more annoyed.

 “Peace with the O’Driscols!” Dutch says in disbelief. You stand up and go lean against the table next to Hosea who is sitting at it reading.

 “They want to meet for a parle.” Pearson urges.

 “They want to meet?” Hosea asks.

 “It’s a trap,” Both you and Hosea say together.

 “Of course it’s a trap,” Micah exclaims. “But it wouldn’t hurt to see if it’s not what do we have to lose?”

 “They could shoot us?” You say earning you a side-eye from Micah.

 “This is a man’s duty, princess.” He teases.

 “No, if you are going to meet him I want in.”

 “No,” Arthur, Dutch, Hosea, and Henry all say in unison.

 “Oh come on.” You groan. “I’m a great shot.”

 “Mr. Morgan should be our back up,” Micah suggests. “We leave the kids here.”

 “Father I would like to go,” Henry says which earns him a smile from Dutch.

 “Of course, my boy,” Dutch says patting Henry’s shoulder and heading towards the Horses.

 “Henry doesn’t even know how to load a gun let alone shoot one.” You stomp your foot.

 “Shut it, Y/N. Mr. Bell has been teaching me in his free time,” Henry explains as he climbs onto Lightning.

 “He’s a great student. Too bad your sister ain’t.” Micah rolls his eyes.

 Before you have a chance to snap Arthur pulls you to his tent while he grabs some things.

 “My love,” Arthur says softly so only you hear. “Please stay, it’ll give me some damn peace of mind if I know you’re here.”

 “I could really be helpful,” You sigh.

 “Oh, I know you could. But Micah will do nothin’ but annoy you, and your Father and Brother will be worrying too much about you to pay attention.” He holds your face in his hands and kisses your forehead, nose, and finally a long passionate kiss on the lips. “To make it even how about you sleep in my tent with Bear and you can have my big cot all to yourself.”

 Damn, Arthur knew your weakness. His cot was wider than yours. You always found it just a bit more comfortable. “I’m... worried.”

 “I know,” He sits you on his cot and gives your forehead one more kiss before pulling away. “I love you.” He says as he starts to leave.

 “I love you too.”

 As the night drew on you began to feel tired. You collected Bear in your arms and laid back in Arthur’s cot. Before you realized it you had completely drifted off to sleep.

--------------

 You woke up to the sounds of horses thundering into camp. You peaked out of Arthur’s tent but only saw three bodies shadowed in the darkness. “Pa?” You ask recognizing his silhouette.

 “My dear, You should sleep…” He says. You can tell something is wrong.

 “What happened?” He gets close enough so you can see his face. “Oh god, what happened? Is Henry okay?”

 “Henry is fine, he already went back to his tent.”

 “Then what’s wrong? Did somethin’ happen to Micah? He probably had it comin’,”

 “It’s not Micah…” Dutch looked down at you with sad eyes.

 “What…? How… I thought he was hidden?”

 “We couldn’t find him.” He mumbled.

 You turned around and started sliding your boots on. “Now hold on, Y/N. Let’s gather our thoughts and make a plan.”

 “A plan?” You look at him in disbelief, “From what I gathered you didn’t seem to have a plan when I was taken.”

 “We don’t know if he was taken. Maybe he just made a stop somewhere.”

 “He would have said somethin’.” You could feel that new anger of your growing again. You stopped yourself and tried to take a long breath to calm down. “Pa… I… have really strong feelings for him.” You admit to him.

 He seemed a bit ticked off. Perhaps he thought it was a fling that would burn out. “How do you mean?”

 You looked up at your father, “I love him. And before you say it’s too soon, don’t I’ve had enough bad past experience to know when it’s different.”

 Dutch threw his hands up, “But an Outlaw? I wanted more than that for you.”

 “Mother loved an outlaw.”

 “Your mother was an outlaw.”

 “So am I now, I just shot a man in the middle of a damn town. Two towns, in fact, thanks to you.” He looked a bit hurt so you sighed, “I’m sorry, I’m worried about Arthur. I won’t do anythin’ dangerous. I’m just gonna ride around and see if I find him.” Before he could tell you no you climbed onto Suzie and rode off.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is “one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from  rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF” lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.

[nerdynarrator28]

You’re gonna be..

A/N: Here it is!! Nonny!! Where the reader finds out that she’s pregnant with Dutch’s baby! I hope you enjoy it! I know I did! ❤️☺️

Pairing(s): Dutch x Pregnant Reader

Warning(s): Nothing..Just Fluff!!

Summary: You’ve been with the gang for a few years now, and have been with Dutch the leader of the VanDerLinde Gang for a couple years. One heated passionate love making that night, lead to you finding out you’re pregnant a few weeks later. How will Dutch React to the news.

—————————-—❤️————————————

You’ve been with Dutch for a few years now, He was the most romantic man you have ever known. He take you out for walks underneath the moonlight, He would turn on the record player, and dance with you. Dutch loved you, which was rare, because he never really loved anybody else except for Annabelle, but then you came along.

You sat at the edge of the Dock with the tips of your feet in the water. You loved the feeling of the water on your feet, you sure were glad when Arthur and Charles found this spot it was peaceful..sometimes before Grimshaw starts carrying on. You sighed with a smile on your face when Cain, The camps new guard Dog joined you.

You laughed with a smile and patted the dogs head, and scratched behind his ear.

“Who’s a good boy..hmm”. You spoke softly to the dog.

Cain just barked happily with his tail just a wagging and his tongue sticking out. You laughed as he pounced on you and started to lick your face.

“Okay..okay Cain..Down..” you giggled, as he jumped off of you. You looked around searching for him to play with. You then spotted a stick near you, as you leaned over to grab it, Cain knocked you down in the water.

“Cain!” You yelled.

The dog just barked and sat there watching you in the water, Arthur came over seeing what the fuss was about. He laughed while taking a puff of his cigarette.

“Ya sure..really like yer baths don’t ya Y/N.” He chuckled.

“Are..ya going to stand there Arthur or are ya goin to help a lady in the time of need.” You huffed giving him a look. Arthur smirked at your response.

“I’m sure..that’s Dutch’s job helpin’ ya in the time of need..” he took a hit off his cigarette before putting it out.

Arthur, walked over and handed you his hand. You took it, and climbed on out of the water with a heavy sigh and held up your hands.

“I’m all wet..that’s fantastic..” you grumbled, Arthur laughed his Harty laugh with smile.

“Now..don’t be like that Y/N..have some fun.”

They walked back together to the camp, You could hear the other laugh and smile at you. Micah came up to you was about to say something dirty to you but..you turned to face him.

“I don’t have time for you..boy.” You grumbled, and walked on by and into Your and Dutch’s Tent.

“Well then..I like my women feisty,” he smirked. Arthur slapped him on the back of the head.

“Damn Fool.” Arthur grumbled.

You walked inside the tent seeing Dutch sitting on their cot reading. You grunted, making Dutch look up from his book that he was reading and smiling with a laugh escaping his lips.

“It’s not funny Darlin’..” you huffed as you started to get undressed.

“Well..I’m sorry sweetheart..” he chuckled. You sighed with a soft smile.

“I’m sorry..Handsome..I Just this was one of my favorite outfits.” You sighed, you heard his feet shuffle towards you and pull into his embrace.

“Dutch..I’m going to get you all wet..” she frowned.

“That will be just fine..then we can both..undress.”

He smirked as he spoke huskily into your ear with his hands moving up to the laces of your dress in the back untying them.

“Ohh..Dutch.” You whispered, as he leaned down and kissed your lips with a passion, and both headed to the cot. That night..There was some Passionte Love Making.

***

Few Weeks later, after that Night of Passionate love making with your lover you haven’t been feeling right.

You sat near the campfire, shivering because you were freezing. Abigail came up to you, and sat down. She smiled softly at you and spoke.

“Y/N..you okay..” Abigail spoke, you nodded with a small smile.

“Yeah..I think..I think it’s just some nasty bug..” she chuckled, as then felt something in her stomach churn.

You ran quickly to the nearest bush, and puked. You didn’t really have much in your stomach from being sick all the time. Abigail came over and held your hair.

“Thank..thanks Abigail..” you hoarsely spoke.

“Not a thing..Y/N..can I ask you some stuff..”

You nodded your head slowly, and wiped your mouth as you both headed back towards her tent. You both make it, and sit inside as she turned to you.

“I didn’t..wanna..say this out loud for everyone to hear..and including Dutch..but have yer breasts been sore..”

You nodded, “yeah..they have been for a few weeks now..why?” You gave Abigail a strange look, she just nodded.

“A’right..when was your last woman time..”

Then it hit You..You we’re pregnant, you never had gotten your woman time, and your breast were sore, and all the sickness. You started to cry from being overwhelmed. Abigail held you close and rubbed your arm.

“It’s going to be okay Y/N..I promise ya.” She smiled. “You’ll make a great mother.”

You nodded with a soft smiled, “thank you Abigail..I just..I just don’t know how to tell Dutch..when we bring up kids..he shuts down but I see how he is with jack.”

You sniffled as you wiped your eyes, “how did you know..”

Abigail laughed, “I had the same feelings as you are right now.”

You smiled, “I’m going to be a mother..”

Taking in the amazement that you and Dutch were going to be parents. You couldn’t wait to speak to him about it. You hugged Abigail and got up and walked out of her tent to go find Dutch.

Dutch was sitting with the men around the campfire, you walked slowly over to them. They were laughing and drinking. They then notice you and smiled, you smiled back and looked to Dutch.

“Dutch can..I speak with you..” you whispered,

Dutch nodded, “I’m sorry boys..I’ll be back.”

The men laughed and smirked making dirty comments about the two of you. As you both walked away and entered the tent so you could talk with him.

“What’s the matter Darlin’.” He spoke as he sat down on the cot pulling you into his lap.

“Yeah..yeah everything is fine..it’s.” You closed her eyes, you felt Dutch’s hand grab a hold of yours and run his thumb across it.

“Y/N you don’t have to be nervous..my love you can tell me anything..”

You nodded and smiled down at him, “well..You’re gonna be a father..”

Everything went quiet, you kept starring at Dutch waiting for his answer. That made you panic, and you started to cry. Dutch held you close and had a tear run down his cheek.

“I love you Y/N..so very much..and this baby..I just can’t believe..” he wiped your tear away, “I’m going to be a father..A father Y/N..”

Dutch kissed you with passion, you pulled away with a giggle. “I don’t think so..that’s how I ended up..with your child my sweetheart..”

You both laugh, as you laid against his chest.

“We should go tell the other’s” you spoke looking up at him.

Dutch nodded, “of course we will..C’mon Darlin..let’s go tell the others about Baby Van Der Linde.” He held your hand as both of you stood up and walked out.

You were very happy at how Dutch took the news and how excited he was to have his own Son/Daughter. You leaned into your lovers side with a arm wrapped around his waist watching how excited he was telling the others, this baby was sure going to be spoiled and loved.