#like if you're going to steal my mail and keep it in your home for over a month
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NOT ANSWERING MY DOOR WHEN MY NEIGHBOR KNOCKS AS SELF CARE. GIRL IT IS NINE PM.
#like if you're going to steal my mail and keep it in your home for over a month#and be like omg i've had this for so long i just don't run into you :/#then you really need to stop taking my mail#i don't overpay for a shitty unpermitted studio so you can have free access to me#i'm being mean but i don't feel good and she's weirdly passive aggressive sometimes?#one time she's like lmao i didn't realize you went to bed so early#after knocking several times post-8pm#like you can tell that my lights are off#sorry that my blinding headach that put me to bed before your approved time#prevented me from deigning to get up and answer the door on your first knock
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JUNK MAIL PT.2 ; PICK A CARD !
Hey babies, just wanna give y'all a quick message for the weekend ;) Pick which one that resonates 1-3 (Top/Bottom Left) 2-4 (Top/Bottom Right)
Something fun for the girls, nothing serious. Oracle reading for the collective! Lets get it!
PILE 1 - 'Look at me now, I'm getting paperrrrr'
Dont waste your time on bitches who aint got it. They just jealous cause you a princess and you're focused on your goals. Genie Magic. Manifesting abilities through the roof. Friends to Enemies. Voicing an opinion that doesn't matter. They could try and steal your flow but they can never take your shine.
You different. Live with that mami.
PILE 2 - 'Eccentric babe, Im a memory that lives in your mind forever.'
You've got unique taste. When you walk into the room the boys are nodding their heads and are intimidated by your presence. You too different for them mami. Try an turn it down? Psych. Nah. Maybe some controlling personas tried to come through and they away from your vibe but you always came up on top. You're stranger than fiction. Like a siren, you just know how to bring people in.
PILE 3 - 'Valuable Barbie, Priceless Energy'
There you go lookin all cute girly! I see you. Get up and get your hair done, ya nails did, get a new bag and vacation shawty. Its your world, we just living in it. You gotta challenge the status quo, these mfs think they slick! Trying to use you for ya last dollar, but you're too good for all that. You know?
Dont make them take ya hard work and feed it to somebody else. You dont got time for fleas, so why they sittin in your home?
PILE 4 - 'Dont make me get my gun! Cause Ima Shoota!'
Warrior. Courageous, brave energy all through your aura ! You dont know how to act at times, but thats what makes you special. You crazy, but in a good way. The type that makes another person feel something. You know? They'll just keep on comin back mamas, you the shit.
#oracle readings#mystic#tarot readings#psychic#psychic readings#pick a card#pick a character#pick a picture#pick a pie
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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YANDERE HARI KURONO HEADCANONS
So, this guy is a FREAKING SADIST!!! And that's not a shocker considering the fact that he used to work with Overhaul
He never really had time for such a useless thing like love in his life. He always thought love was stupid and pointless and having someone else in his life would just distract him from his goals but... after he saw YOU, a pro hero, fighting against them along with the other pro heroes, for the VERY FIRST time EVER in his life, he started viewing love in a different way. He felt his heart beat go out of the roof as he saw you but he couldn't help but feel sad that you were fighting against them
Pretty soon after the fight was over, Kurono made sure not to hurt you or even lay a finger on you since he was now OBSESSED with you. Who were you?
He tried doing some research about you like what sort of a pro hero you were and wanted to find out more about your quirk and what all you did as a part of your daily routine
You can BET he sent some men of his and installed cameras in YOUR OWN house to see what you were always up to. He fell in love with you even more quickly and whenever he'd see someone else step foot into your house, he'd just be raging with jealousy and anger. How DARE you do something like that? Inviting other people to your home while you have someone who's watching over you? True, you might still not know that yet so he started making his presence around you more.... conspicious aka. send you some anonymous gifts
After a few days, you'd always get something like your favorite box of chocolates in the mail, or some sappy love letter or love poem for you and a bunch of flower bouquets and all that. For a while you thought it was cute but then it started getting out of hand when he wrote 'I love you my darling' on your bathroom mirror. And then he started doing even MORE creepy things like sending you pictures of where you're going and saying how beautiful and cute you looked and saying how he should kill those pathetic friends of yours since they're 'stealing' you away from him
You went to the other pro heroes and told them about that person, however, those who tried helping you ended up in hospitals for many weeks after long and continuous villain attacks at 'random places'
He decided to kidnap you as soon as possible, like maybe in a week or so since he just couldn't STAND you being around other people
When it comes to the kidnapping, I think he's just gonna ask some of his goons to drag you and drug you in an alleyway before you have the chance of using your quirk. When they bring you back to his place and when he watches you sleep, he can't help but think how innocent and cute and adorable you were for this world. You were an angel, who didn't care about things like money and fame like the other corrupt heroes. You wanted to save people and you were different from the rest.....
If he has to deal with rivals, he won't have time for that since he's going to be too busy trying to discipline you, but however, if he needs to take out his anger, he'll take it out on you and the person who's gonna get tortured and finally killed by him. Bonus, you're going to have to watch the horror show since he'll force you saying how he's going to die and it's your fault for not loving him and all that
You'll be forced to love this sadistic person eventually. Don't EVER try getting on his bad side like trying to drive him over the edge and trying to escape. He's gonna leave you in isolation and behave in a REALLY sadistic manner with you till you're practically BEGGING him to make you feel loved by him and he'll certainly have a cocky evil smile on his lips
He might spoil you a little bit, buying you whatever you want if you're good and he'll let you roam ONLY in the house. He can't risk you going out and no doubt he'll ask some people to always keep a close eye on you. I don't know if this guy is good at being romantic and all but let's just say that he likes holding on to your small figure and hugging you
Overhaul will be DAMN PISSED when he sees you on his lap for meetings but eventually he'll just get used to your presence and might even offer Kurono to give you regular checkups once in a while (Oh wow, since WHEN did OVERHAUL get so NICE!!?)
Kurono might be good to you. Just don't piss him TF off else he's gonna introduce you to his favorite knife TvT
#yandere bnha#yandere bnha x reader#yandere bnha scenarios#yandere bnha oneshots#yandere hari kurono#yandere hari kurono scenarios#yandere hari kurono headcanons#yandere hari kurono imagines#yandere hari kurono x reader#yandere hari kurono oneshots
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Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Paying Taxes
(Based on this)
Sometime following Tails of Trials, OMT!Tails and OMT!Mina were just spending some time in the former's home, when Mr. Needlemouse came a-knocking.
Mr. Needlemouse: Tails!
OMT!Mina: Wha-?!
Mr. NM: My taxes are due today, and I have no idea how to do them!
OMT!Mina: Erm, okay?
Mr. NM: You gotta help me!
OMT!Tails: How do you know I'm not busy with my own?
Mr. NM: Cuz I know in da back of my thumb ya didn't do 'em last minute!
OMT!Tails: I mean, I had to wait 'til January 22nd before this year's 1099 forms all came in, but...
Mr. NM: Please, bub! Ya gotta help me! I'd be on my knees if MCStudio had the drawing skills for it!!!
OMT!Mina: *sigh* Alright.
OMT!Tails: I'm sure with my brains we can get this sorted out in no time!
They headed inside.
Mr. NM: (So boooring...)
He followed them in.
OMT!Tails: Okay, so, first order of business. How much did you make last year?
Mr. NM: Wait, I was supposed to be countin'?
OMT!Mina: Didn't you get a W2 from your employer?
Mr. NM: Employer...?
OMT!Mina: Well, what do you even do for a job?
Mr. NM: ... Does robbing Melody Hill Zone and framing Beeman for it 24/7 count as a job?
OMT!Tails: Like, stealing money slash rings regularly?
Mr. NM: Yep!
OMT!Mina: Who even makes it that easy to rob?
Mr. NM: Easy! I have a professional conman disguised as a lawyer freeing my bum every time!
OMT!Mina: Well, I doubt we'll be getting a 1099 from said lawyer.
OMT!Tails: It's okay, though! We can still fill out the 1040 using your own accounting.
Mr. NM: So I was supposed to be countin'!
OMT!Tails: You haven't been keeping track? NM...
Mr. NM: Okay, okay relax! I got 540 something in Emerald Hill... stole 250 from the local retirement home... stole 25 thousand worth of gold in Calteron... and stole some of Aureya's tech and sold 'em for 20 bucks!
OMT!Mina: I seriously doubt the IRS is gonna tolerate that.
Mr. NM: It was in three different dimensions! Whatever crimes I'm accountable for there, I'm not accountable for here!
OMT!Tails: Anyway! Let's talk business expenses. Do you even have those?
Mr. NM: Well... I did sell Beeman to the Dark Webz and passed him off as a rare species of bee. Does that count?
OMT!Mina: The dark web?!
OMT!Tails: Why did you go selling stuff on there?! And that's not even an expense!
Mr. NM: Well, where else can you sell someone? The other markets deemed it "illegal" for ridiculous reasons!
OMT!Tails: You can't put illegal purchases and selling on your federal tax return!
Mr. NM: Why not?
OMT!Mina: For Gaia's sake...
A few minutes later, everything was sorted out and the signature was put on the sheet.
Mr. NM: Phew! That took forever...
OMT!Tails: You're welcome.
Mr. NM: Now all I gotta do is put it in the mail, yeah?
OMT!Tails: Those were the federal taxes. The dimension taxes should take no more than 5 minutes to-.
Mr. NM: Actually, I think I'm good!
He started walking to the door.
OMT!Tails and OMT!Mina: Huh?!
Mr. NM: I've decided I'm not paying taxes!
OMT!Mina: Needle, you have to pay your taxes!
Mr. NM: Why? It's not like they do anything.
OMT!Tails: Star Light was literally built with the funding from taxpayer rings and coins.
Mr. NM: Yup. And they used the money to build loop-de-loops and floating platforms. Which, granted, cool as hell for me, but hell for the chumps that wasted their sweet time paying for 'em!
He prepared to leave through the front door.
OMT!Mina: I mean, he got a point there.
OMT!Tails: Still, if you don't pay your taxes, the IRS will come after you, Needlemouse!
Mr. NM: And I'm a living cartoon character! They can't catch me!
Cut to him now thrown in prison for planned tax evasion.
(AoSTH Robotnik sprite by Soap Surfin' and XtremeXavier)
Mr. NM: Oh, damn... Guess they caught me. (looking to his right) So what you in for?
AoSTH Robotnik: I placed a bunch of golden rrrrrrrrings on the ground, and they told me to send the proper 1099 forms to people who picked them up. I didn't just to be diabolical, and, well... I've been serving my time here since before Into the Sonic-verse.
Mr. NM: Call me Judge Doom, cuz you're getting the Dip!
AoSTH Robotnik: No, stop!
Mere seconds later, he was pulled from his jail cell after serving his time there.
IRS Member: Alright, you're free to return to your dimension.
AoSTH Robotnik: Anything to get away from that hedgehog, er... rabbit, erm... whatever that thing is! He's worse than Sonic, and that says a lot!
Dr. Beeman: You think that's bad? Try living in his world mindin' yer own business!
IRS Member: Well, the rabbit-hog's gonna be staying there for at least the next six months for planned tax evasion.
Mr. NM: Aw, really? I can get my lawyer to bust me outta-.
IRS Member: And you have charges of selling a half-human on the dark web, robbery, framing for said robbery, evading court through your properties, using a conman to get yourself out of jail, vandalism, disorderly conduct, parking illegally, amongst too many other offences to list here. And if you don't pay the legal fees out of the money you stole, which will all go back to the places you stole them from, you'll be here for at least 70 more years.
Mr. NM: Oh, COME ON!!!!! >:(
(Confirmation from @mcgamejolter himself: Mr. Needlemouse preferred the 70 extra years in jail over being a decent person, but of course, they made him send back the stolen goods whether he wanted to or not. Him trying to evade his taxes was just the last straw that got him tossed behind bars.)
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic exe#sth#sonic#sonic fandom#spider verse#sonic au#sth au#spider man#please don't commit tax fraud or tax evasion#what mr. needlemouse does is illegal#pay your taxes
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Back to Reality
I've always been a homebody, a nester. Few things make me happier than a cozy, sweet home and a pot of soup bubbling on the stove. After ten wonderful days in France we flew home (well, that took an extra day) and slipped back into our daily routine. After a good night's sleep I made a grocery run, came home and tossed in travel laundry, then got busy on a pot of vegetable soup. Not gonna' lie, France is better. Denton stinks. One positive note, when we arrived home and turned onto our little cul-de-sac the autumn color was bursting into its glory.
It's like lifting the lid of a treasure chest full of jewels. Oh, I love it! I'm stuffing myself with salads, trying to cleanse my body of all of the gloriously rich French food. There's not one bite I regret. I do regret not bringing home a variety of butters. There are actual butter stores in France where you can buy butters infused with any flavor you can imagine. French butter is already vastly more delicious than our supermarket stuff, but imagine it combined with your favorite herbs, spices, or sweet flavors. They'll vacuum seal it for you if you're traveling. I talked myself out of hauling a suitcase full of butter home, but I'm still thinking about it. Shallot butter, vanilla butter, chili butter, smoked salt butter, citrus butter, truffle butter, I can't even remember the hundreds of flavors.
youtube
Their butter has more fat and less water than our American butter, and I'm sure there's some other magic involved, and I'm convinced that if it was distributed worldwide we would finally have peace. Everyone would be happy. *sigh* That said, now that I am back in the land of instant everything, I am not enjoying a buttery quiche for breakfast. The French would cry if they saw my morning "meal".
Yep, a protein shake with an extra scoop of collagen powder. Reality sucks. I'm just going to mention that life expectancy in the U.S. is 77.5 and in France it's 82.3. Maybe we should eat the butter.
In other news, Mickey has a cold. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated. If he doesn't make it I'll post the funeral info here. I should probably shop for a black dress. I've threatened him with bodily harm if he keeps coughing and breathing on me. Halloween is just days away and I intend to enjoy it with my grandgirl. So there you have it, we're back and everything is normal (ish). The kitties were thrilled to see us and are still in our faces 24/7, reminding us that we abandoned them. The cat sitter babies them, talks to them, lets them choose their own dinner, and they still act as if we left them to waste away. Drama queens. I have a dental check-up tomorrow and I never expect anything good to come of that. I brush and floss constantly, yet they always find enough work in my mouth to send their kids to college. I'm dreading it. After that it's mammogram time. The fun never ends.
I received our Xmas cards in the mail and realized that it's just 63 days until Santa comes. Good grief. Election day is just 13 days away, and that's terrifying. The day after the election I'm flying to Florida to visit my mom. My sister will meet me there and we'll have some girl time. I'm hoping we all feel relieved and not gut punched. Do I dare hope? I'm a silver lining seeker, a lifeboat singer, an eternal optimist - but I have to admit the last couple of years have stomped on that. Hard. I keep begging the universe to show me just how good things can be, trying to manifest the good. It does feel like there's a wave of positive energy, of goodness, sweeping the country - but I felt that once before and we ended up with an orange con man in the Oval Office. He's a liar, a grifter, a narcissist, an adjudicated rapist, a pervert, a 34 times convicted felon, he tried to steal a free and fair election, and there are still idiots who say, "That's my guy!" Even if you can ignore his criminal history and his lies, he's not a smart man. He doesn't even understand how our government operates. He can't grasp basic science. It's absolutely beyond me how anyone thinks he's in any way fit to lead. If you're one of those people, this blog is not for you. Move on. I've always been a promoter of unity, finding our similarities rather than our differences, respecting the beliefs and views of others even if I feel the opposite. Not anymore. This is not remotely about liberal vs conservative or Republican vs Democrat, this is not about policy at all. This is about decency. If, after everything he has done, you're still a Trumper, then I see who you are at your core. You may play nice in public or move through your days doing good acts, but at the end of the day you're okay with racism, misogyny, and cruelty. Deep down you truly think that someone who has a different skin tone, loves a same sex partner, or immigrated here seeking the American dream, is somehow LESS than you. That they deserve fewer rights and unfair treatment, the opposite of what this country is supposed to stand for. I'm so tired of the mean-spirited and ugly rhetoric being paraded around as patriotism. It's the opposite. Okay, okay. Getting off my soap box. I hope that you're making an educated choice in the voting booth. I hope that you're thinking of daughters who have fewer rights than their mothers did, grandparents who rely on Social Security, and what our future will look like if an ignorant wanna-be dictator with selfish, cruel intent regains power.
Think I'm being dramatic? These are photos of women in Iran in the 1970's - studying at university and window shopping, wearing the fashions of the day.
Here's the women of Iran now. In 1979 it became the law that all women must wear the hijab or face arrests and beatings. That was just the beginning.
All it takes is one mad man and his minions. Don't let that happen. From French butter to human rights, that sounds about right for this blog. I sit down at the laptop, crack open my brain, and shake everything out. Take what you want, leave the rest for the crows.
I think I'll sit at my desk and address Xmas cards. I'm cursing myself by getting an early start, aren't I ? Just asking for trouble. Maybe I'll make art instead. I'm in the mood to paint something. I hope that your day is sunny and positive. Treat yourself today, whether that's a cookie or a new nail polish - just a little bit of happy goes a long way. Sending out lots of love, I hope you feel it. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy
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April 2011
April 13, 2011
Problems with my mail order bride
No holes in the box she didn't show up alive
Getting dirty in the places you always thought you'd keep so clean
Mix me in mono so I put you to fucking sleep
I got a machine soul
I keep you in boxes and lists
I don't worry about love
Or the weather
both barely exist
And both rarely resist
Dispatch helicopters
I accidentally got miserable
Black operations
Rome is for romans
Greek gods are dust, the romans are planets still infallible
Not devout but I feel blessed
Load a round of your problem solvers
Mass exodus of feelings from my chest
won't just make you surrender
Gonna Make you sing it to me
Can't seem to see the light but cover your eyes its shining through me
There's a box here but were simply not taking complaints
There are men in white with syringes carrying restraints
I'm a predator so I'm gonna make you pray
For the protection of your saints
I'm not trying to put an end to this
I'm just trying to get home
DONT YOU GET IT
(stop taking my picture stop asking me questions im on the bench heres my gun and my badge i quit the game)
I can see you're making eyes at this husk surrounding my heart
I can see through you and were sitting in the dark
Bird in a cage
Same as the bird on a perch
Only cause neither of them
Could ever know what they're worth
Love is like a dog
If its laying its best to let it sleep
Life is a case for my trophies
The world just never got me
Oh the controversy
I don't just want the girl with me
After life
I wanna take the whole world with me
Bury me wrapped in c four
My heart your heart
So when they explore
They get more than they're coming for
Fuck
POSTED BY XO AT 9:39 AM NO COMMENTS:
April 22, 2011
so high and right.
he said they usually pull high and right.
my head goes numb.
he has been one of the most important figures in my life for a very long time. we met when i was fourteen in evanston- all he said was "do you write?". my outstanding response was "you mean like pen pals?". and so a friendship was born. it was steeped heavily in aerosol fumes and cutting holes in the fence at cta fix grounds in skokie. alot of boosting. at least one night or two for trespassing and vandalism of government property. one or two fanzines about friends we hated. a band or two. a single show in my parents basement. a gun, the only one id ever know, with no "bodies" on it. a dog. a tattoo in washington dc. and an eventual and untimely split. he forced me to look at the world differently. to find subversion where there seemed to be none. to see humanity in people many wouldnt consider human. to see art everywhere.
years later we crossed paths again. only now he speaks in hushed tones of the jungle of burma where he take photographs. he says if they pull the trigger you go low and left because they dont know how to use an assault rifle and usually pull high and right. he speaks of thinking he was poisoned as he fled another impoverished country in south east asia. i am again forced to rethink how i see the world. it is almost as he is meant to force the little good that is left in me. to steal my reason and remix how i think of the world.
thanks for being that friend.
POSTED BY XO AT 8:24 PM NO COMMENTS:
April 22, 2011
Coming at me
Got hipsters guarding your body
There's no kingdom
Just a moat and some nobodies
Ahhh 'pity fuck the sick girl'
I'm not mad its just a mad world
Dollar days, french toast
Slip on shoes you mean the most
Killing myself
so im getting laid like a highschool quarterback
I wear painter denim
Got an aerosole mind
So its not my fault my feelings are plastic and crystalized
This is a confessional
I am not terrestrial
This is not my home planet
I don't care
You can have it
Sitting here lobbing tear gas
Riot mob trying to make these tears last
Fuck marry kill
That's not a question
I'm trying to keep still
but i quake
and sure of the years ive got more gray
but im still dorian
which means some of the bottles im pouring
from are more important
i burn hotter than you
(its not a metaphor)
my hearts like a stallion
people seem to just like it more broken
POSTED BY XO AT 8:34 PM NO COMMENTS:
April 29, 2011
this isnt a rescue mission anymore.
they think of my heart like it was a stallion
they seem to like it the more its broken.
POSTED BY XO AT 11:05 PM
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TW: Stalking and paranoia(?) Im mainly looking for someone to listen and stuff to without the whole "you're overreacting" stuff i keep being told but any advice/resources would be appreciated but not required. Apologizes for any spelling, words, or general mistakes, ive been suffering alot of issues related to motor skills lately and am in the dark with most info related to this currently.
To give some context, i live with my mother in a smallish town where most people tend to know each other's names and stuff. Well theres this guy that walks down our street, has been for longer then we've been here. And alsp its safe enough in our area that most are okay with leaving their doors unlocked during the days most of the time.
Which on its own is fine, like yeah he gave me such bad and dirty vibes the first/only time i talked to him to the point of almost burning my skin in a shower to get rid of it, but as of abouts early last year he has taken "an interest" in my mother. Which means, based on stories from our neighbor and our own experiences, he actively watches our house from a short lightly hidden distance leaving cigarette butts, walking into peoples homes and hanging out (in our case he actively tried to get into our house), and stealing mail.
We've tried to go to the police but they just tell us they cant do anything and that "its just walking jonny/donnie, he's harmless". No one but our neighbor takes us seriously cuz "he's harmless" i have mixed feelings cuz yeah he got some issues that are out of his control and please don't attack me if i say/phase anything wrong, im going off of what ive been told and am unable to do anything like research with my limited knowledge and such, but he to quote a different neighbor "has complications at birth and is stuck being mentally 13", which yeah that sucks and i sympathize with him, someone who is even if its just in the way described to me 13 years old would be able to know and learn that stalking someone for borderline 2 years isnt a normal or okay thing to do. His parents do nothing about this except send him somewhere for a week to please the police.
Im now deeply afraid to sleep in my own room because of this as he has started to hang out in the backyard at night and my room has huge windows viewing the backyard.
To sum this up before i go on too long, i have now developed a deep fear of my own room, being watched, and developed such bad paranoia i literally can't sleep. I constantly get told im overreacting as this man who has been stalking my mother, and in turn me, is apparently "harmless" and even if we were taken seriously they are unable (and with one cop, refuses) do anything since he was not physically hurt us or our animals. I do not fear for myself, but my mother and our dogs especially since he primarily sees them, as ive been unable to easily my house due to things regarding my new motor issues, and he has become more active with his stalking if that makes any sense
Hi anon,
I'm so sorry this has been happening. Your feelings about this are totally valid and this is not okay.
Unfortunately police can and do suck about helping victims, particularly victims of stalking. When I tried to report someone stalking me to the police, they refused to help me. I know very little about laws so take this with a grain of salt, but from what I do understand about reporting stalking to the police, is that they are more likely to help you if you gather what they constitute as evidence, which is mainly photos, videos, and audio recordings. While it may be legal for him to loiter on public property, it may be helpful to try to take a photo of or record him the next time he tries to violate your property.
I'm sorry to hear that other people have been minimizing this situation, as well as its effect on you. It's unacceptable to tolerate or normalize this kind of behavior. You are not overreacting.
If you can access or afford it, and if you don't already have one, I recommend looking into getting a therapist. A mental health professional could help address your paranoia and insomnia, as well as find some effective coping mechanisms for not only the situation but for yourself as well. You don't deserve to live in fear.
If anyone else has any comments or suggestions please feel free to add on. Otherwise hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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I'll Come Around
You finally decide to join the team, but it's hardly home. Luckily, you aren't the only one who has trouble sleeping. Part of the Breathe Mercy verse.
Warnings: maybe cursing, but I'm not even sure if that's one
Word count: 840ish
A/N: As always, 18+, minors DNI. Don't steal or copy or whatever. Feedback always appreciated.
Riding in a cargo plane is already awkward enough, but listening to Nick Fury absolutely bless out one of the newest agents before takeoff is bound to make the ride even worse. Bucky kicks back on the bench next to Steve, letting his eyes fall closed. The mission was a success, but Bucky had to keep the idiot newbie from getting shot, basically leaving him to pull double duty as an assassin and babysitter.
"Look, Bucky." Steve chuckles, holding up Natasha's phone. It's a picture of Y/N and Bruce, standing near a pyramid of boxes and totes, looking victorious. Bucky only glares and raises an eyebrow. "Pepper and Bruce are helping Y/N move in."
A new message appears beneath the photo: they keep goofing off. These two are worse than Tony, it's like wrangling cats.
"She's moving in… to the tower?"
"Yeah, she finally decided to join up. Didn't she tell you?"
"No." Bucky frowns, trying not to pout. He figured he would be one of the first people to know, since you consider him a friend. Or at least, he considers you one.
"Have you checked your phone?" Natasha leans around Steve, shooting a knowing look at Bucky.
"No." He scrambles, fishing the hated technology from his pocket. There he sees a missed call, a voice-mail, and four text messages, all from Dollface. He holds back his smile, feeling Steve's and Natasha's eyes on him. "Must've missed her."
Nonchalantly, he lifts the phone to his ear, checking his voice-mail. "Hey Sarge, just wanted to let you know I finally decided to join the team. Nervous as all hell, but maybe it'll be okay. I know you're busy so stay safe. I'll be here when you come home."
Home. Be here when you come home, the words roll across his mind and bring him a little warmth.
"Careful, Buck, you keep twitching your cheeks like that and we might think you know how to smile." Natasha teases, seeing a slight blush rise in his face.
"Oh, shut up."
By the time Bucky steps off the elevator, all he wants is to collapse face first into the nearest pillow and sleep for the next three months. He steps up to his door, hand frozen in midair when he hears familiar voices.
"You told me after a treatment or a long day, you have nightmares and disorientation. Is that still the case?"
"Sometimes." He recognizes your tone, behind the door across the hall. She moved in right across from me?
"Today you had both. As your doctor, I demand that you call me if you need anything, even if it's just to talk." The door pops open and Bruce steps out, "Hey, Bucky. Did you guys just make it back?"
"Couple hours ago. Fury had a debrief that went on forever. Apparently, a new agent thought disregarding orders was a smart idea. Hey, doll." Bucky spots you behind Bruce. "You get moved in okay?"
"Yeah, we finally got everything. Still needs a little love." You smile between him and Bruce, "mission go okay, Sarge?"
"Oh, aside from the idiot, it was great."
After some idle chit chat, Bruce excuses himself and leaves the two of you at your respective doors. "Not gonna lie, I overheard you and Banner. I still have nightmares, too. My room is right across the hall from yours, sweets. You got my number. Don't hesitate to call if you need me."
Your heart flutters when he shoots you a tired wink. "Same goes for you, Sarge. You need anything, I'll be right over here."
The room is still full of boxes, packed and unpacked. You wind around them as you step out of your attached bathroom after finally getting to brush your teeth. Tonight is gonna be a long one. The bed calls to you but your mind is too busy, swirling with too many thoughts. Knowing sleep will elude you again, you make your way to the kitchen, stopping when you hear the TV in the lounge.
Bucky is sprawled on the couch, blankly watching an infomercial about a grill. He's wearing a plain t-shirt and dark gray pajama pants, a far cry from the tactical suits you've seen him in before. He looks comfortable and relaxed, which are not states you associate the 100 year old soldier with.
His eyes shift to you and his expression softens, pleased to see you, "Couldn't sleep, doll?"
"Having a hard time settling in, I guess. There's a lot of new things to adjust to here."
"Come join me." He pats the empty spot beside him. "I can't sleep either."
You take him up on the offer, "You seemed exhausted earlier. I thought you'd be out for days."
He pulls a throw from the back of the couch and spreads it over the two of you, handing you the remote. "Oh, I was there for a few hours, but it didn't last long. Do you always have trouble sleeping?"
"Almost every night."
"A lot of times when I can't sleep, I end up out here, watching whatever is on TV. You're always welcome to join."
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The Unknown Muggleborn - Chapter 7
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
3rd Person POV
Christmas was coming. One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts wakes up to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake freezes solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban, (Y/n) watching with a smirk on her face. The few owls that had managed to battle their way though the stormy sky to deliver mail had to be nursed back to health by Hagrid before they could fly off again.
"I do feel so sorry," says Draco Malfoy during a Potions class, "for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they're not wanted at home, or those who have to stay at someone else's house because they have no parents," he adds, (Y/n) staring at her perfected potion, her eyes flashing a silver before flickering back to green; Hermione shoots him a hateful glare.
The blond had been staring at Harry and (Y/n) as he had spoke, Crabbe and Goyle chuckling. Harry, who had been measuring powdered spine of lion-fish, ignores him. Malfoy had been even more unpleasant than usual since the Quidditch match. Disgusted that the Slytherins had lost, he had tried to get everyone laughing at how a wide-mouthed tree frog would be replacing (Y/n) as Seeker next; then he'd realized that nobody had found this funny, because everyone had been so impressed on how well (Y/n) had managed to stay on her broom. So Malfoy, jealous and angry, had gone back to taunting Harry and (Y/n) about having, either, no proper family, or no family at all.
(Y/n) had just turned in a vile of her potion, Snape looking at it, then nods, scribbling a 100 into his grade-book, nodding to the girl. "Ten points to Gryffindor," he announces to the class, everyone looking up, "for Miss (L/n)'s perfect potion." (Y/n) shoots a smirk at Malfoy, who had been trying to outdo her in Potions from the first class. Hermione, Harry, Ron, and the Spences hiding smiles as steam practically gushes from Malfoy's ears.
When they leave the dungeons at the end of Potions, they find a large fir tree blocking the corridor ahead. Two enormous feet sticking out at the bottom and a loud puffing sound tells them that Hagrid is behind it.
"Hey Hagrid, need any help?" Ron asks, sticking his head through the branches.
"Nah, I'm alright, thanks, Ron."
"Would you mind moving out of the way?" Malfoy's cold drawling voice comes from behind them. "Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose — that hut of Hagrid's must seem like a palace compared to what your family's used to."
Ron dives at Malfoy just as Snape comes up the stairs.
"WEASLEY!"
Ron lets go of the front of Malfoy's robes.
"Professor, Malfoy was insulting his family," (Y/n) says, taking a step forward towards the Potions Master.
"Five points from Slytherin," Snape tells Malfoy, and Malfoy sends a hateful glare at (Y/n).
The Potions Master walks away and Malfoy turns to (Y/n).
"What's wrong Draco?" (Y/n) asks in false sympathy. "Feel bad being worse than a orphaned Mudblood?" she asks, stepping towards the blond.
"Shut up!" He says. "My father will hear about this (L/n), and then you'll be sorry," he says.
(Y/n) glances around, "Look's like he's not here. See you around, Blondie," (Y/n) says, turning around and walking back towards Hagrid and her friends, all of them were staring at her with wide eyes.
"That was bloody brilliant," Ron says, and (Y/n) laughs. "I'll get him," Ron says suddenly, grinding his teeth. "One of these days, I'll get Malfoy -"
"I hate them both, Snape and Malfoy," says Harry.
"Come on, cheer up. It's nearly Christmas," says Hagrid. "Tell yeh what, come with me an' see the Great Hall, looks a treat."
So the six of them follow Hagrid and his tree off to the Great Hall, where Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick are busy with the Christmas decorations.
"Ah, Hagrid, the last tree — put it in the far corner, would you?"
The hall looks spectacular. Festoons of holly and mistletoe hang all around the walls, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stand around the room, some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles.
"How many days you got left until yer holidays?" Hagrid asks.
"Just one," says Hermione. "And that reminds me — Harry, Ron, (Y/n) we've got half an hour before lunch, we should be in the library."
"Oh yeah, you're right," says Ron, tearing his eyes away from Professor Flitwick, who has golden bubbles blossoming out of his wand and is trailing them over the branches of the new tree.
"The library?" says Hagrid, following them out of the hall. "Just before the holidays? Bit keen, aren't yeh?"
"Oh, we're not working," Harry tells him brightly. "Ever since you mentioned Nicolas Flamel we've been trying to find out who he is."
"You what?" Hagrid looks shocked. "Listen here — I've told yeh — drop it.It's nothin' to you what that dog's guardin'."
"Actually," (Y/n) interjects. "That's what their doing. Snape gave me extra homework over the break." (Y/n) rolls here eyes.
"Looks like being a Potions prodigy might not be such a good thing," Ron says, and (Y/n) rolls her eyes.
"We just want to know who Nicolas Flamel is, that's all," says Hermione.
"Unless you'd like to tell us and save us the trouble?" Harry adds. "We must've been through hundreds of books already and we can't find him anywhere — just give us a hint — I know I've read his name somewhere."
"I'm sayin' nothin'," said Hagrid flatly.
"Just have to find out for ourselves, then," say Ron, and they leave Hagrid looking disgruntled and hurries off to the library.
They had indeed been searching books for Flamel's name ever since Hagrid had let it slip, because how else were they going to find out what Snape was trying to steal? The trouble was, it was very hard to know where to begin, not knowing what Flamel might have done to get himself into a book. (Y/n) has the strangest feeling that she had heard or seen that name somewhere in her extra Potions homework. Flamel wasn't in Great Wizards of the Twentieth Century, or Notable Magical Names of Our Time;he was missing, too, from Important Modern Magical Discoveries, and A Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry. And then, of course, there was the sheer size of the library; tens of thousands of books; thousands of shelves; hundreds of narrow rows.
Hermione takes out a list of subjects and titles she had decided to search while Ron strode off down a row of books and started pulling them off the shelves at random. (Y/n) had taken out her Potions homework.
Harry wandered over to the Restricted Section. He had been wondering for a while if Flamel wasn't somewhere in there. Unfortunately, you needed a specially signed note from one of the teachers to look in any of the restricted books, and he knew he'd never get one. These were the books containing powerful Dark Magic never taught at Hogwarts, and only read by older students studying advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts.
"What are you looking for, boy?"
"Nothing," answers Harry.
Madam Pince the librarian brandishes a feather duster at him.
"You'd better get out, then. Go on — out!"
Wishing he'd been a bit quicker at thinking up some story, Harry left the library. He, Ron, Hermione, and the twins had already agreed they'd better not ask Madam Pince where they could find Flamel. They were sure she'd be able to tell them,but they couldn't risk Snape hearing what they were up to.
Harry waits outside in the corridor to see if the other four had found anything, but he wasn't very hopeful. They had been looking for two weeks, after all, but as they only had odd moments between lessons it wasn't surprising they'd found nothing. What they really need was a nice long search without Madam Pince breathing down their necks.
Five minutes later, Ron, Hermione, and (Y/n) join him, Ron and Hermione shaking their head; they go off to lunch.
"You will keep looking while we're away, won't you?" asks Hermione. "And send me an owl if you find anything."
"And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamel is," says Ron. "It'd be safe to ask them."
(Y/n) lets out a laugh as Hermione continues.
"Very safe, as they're both dentists," says Hermione.
That evening has Hermione and (Y/n) and (Y/n) packing, getting ready to leave the following morning.
(Y/n) flops down on her bed and Marvel jumps up, her paws placed on (Y/n)'s cheeks.
(Y/n) smiles at Hermione as throws a blanket over (Y/n) and her cat.
The next morning, Hermione wakes up (Y/n) and (Y/n) places Marvel in her basket.
(Y/n) places the straps on her guitar and slings it over her back.
The two take their packed trunks downstairs, making sure to say goodbye to Harry and Ron before they leave.
The sisters take the carriages down to the Hogwarts' Express and they board the train.
(Y/n) pulls out her Potions homework and works through it, but gets stuck on the last question. She runs her hands through her sleek (H/c) hair.
Thinking for a while, she finally finally finishes the question, pulls her trunk off the shelf, and puts her homework inside.
"I feel so accomplished," (Y/n) grumbles, sitting back down and leaning her head against the window.
Marvel jumps out of her travel basket and hops into Hermione's lap.
(Y/n) glances at her guitar resting next to her in her seat before she picks it up and begins to strum.
Hermione smiles as (Y/n) finishes playing and then (Y/n) places the guitar on her back.
"Come on 'Mione," (Y/n) says pulling down her and her sister's trunks and Marvel's carrying basket.
Hermione's smile widens as she grabs her trunk and Marvel jumps onto her shoulder.
Hermione jumps down after (Y/n) and (Y/n)'s arm shoots out to steady Hermione as she stumbles.
Hermione beams at her sister and (Y/n) shakes her head, an amused light in her eyes.
The two walk through the barrier and it seems to be more dreary in the Muggle world then on Platform 9 and 3 Quarters.
"What happened?" (Y/n) murmurs to Hermione as they walk towards their parents.
"Hi Mum! Hi Dad!" Hermione says cheerfully and (Y/n) gives a little wave.
Mr. Granger gives (Y/n) a hug, and (Y/n) returns it warmly.
Mrs. Granger greets her adopted daughter with a kiss to the forehead and a hug.
"Hi Mum, Dad!" (Y/n) greets with a warm smile.
"Hi, girls," Mrs. Grangers says. "Let's get home."
"Best thing I've heard all day," (Y/n) says with a grin.
Mr. Granger laughs and the four - plus Marvel - walk out to the car.
"I dunno," Hermione says. "Your guitar playing skills are pretty great."
"Oh stop," (Y/n) says with a smile.
"I guess we'll have to hear it at home," Mrs. Granger says as Hermione and (Y/n) load their trunks into the boot of the car.
(Y/n) gently sets her guitar on the top of her trunk before Mr. Granger closes the boot.
(Y/n) climbs into the car next to her sister and Marvel jumps down to sit in between the two.
Listening to the radio on the way home, (Y/n) listens closely to the news:
"Legendary weapons developer Howard Stark, as well as his wife, was found dead a few days ago. The death of his parents seemingly haunted Tony Stark after the disappearance and presumed death of his daughter and girlfriend about ten years ago when he was around the age of nineteen."
Poor guy, (Y/n) thinks. Imagine loosing the love of your life, your daughter, and your parents. I guess I kind of know what that's like, though I wasn't old enough to comprehend it at the time.
Hermione glances over at her sister who was staring off into the distance.
As if sensing Hermione's gaze on her, (Y/n) looks back over at her with a warm smile.
Hermione shoots (Y/n) a quizzical look but (Y/n) shakes her head.
Marvel tilts her head and pads forward, thrusting her head under (Y/n)'s chin. (Y/n) smiles and scratches behind the kitten's ears.
(Y/n) strokes the kitten's black-and-white fur, remaining silent as the car ride goes on.
Once the four - plus Marvel - arrive back home, (Y/n) helps Mr. Granger unload the trunks from the back of the car, but not before slinging her guitar over her back.
Word Count: 2194 words
Love, Kaitlynn ❤😘
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When I was like, 4 years old this little girl bullied me by saying that I was a baby and I kept telling her that I wasn't a baby but she kept calling me a baby so after that I decided I'd never cry in front of anyone again.
Which is pretty stupid, but for a 4 year old it's kind of a Big Deal when another 4 year old tells you you're a baby.
So you internalize that for your entire childhood throughout your adolescence and then you become an adult.
I've had the worst years of my life in the last 3-4 years and I've pretty much cried every week since then.
And it's so stupid how much of an emphasis we put on not showing people that things get tough and we cry sometimes because we're afraid of what? Being judged for being weak? Being seen as too sensitive? An easy target? What does it even matter anymore?
I couldn't go back to my home state without crying because the sun is different there than it is here in my home and the air smells different and I had to remember all the years I spent there feeling like shit because of my mom being abusive and my roommate harassing me and my next roommate and people I called friends blaming me for their shit lives. For my last roommate basically getting away with stealing $1400 from me. For moving five times in three years and trying to kill myself after I was told I had to move a sixth time. For having my mom and sister leave the country and never bothering to ask me to come with them.
It's February and the first day of the month my cat that I've had since I was 16, who is almost 12 now, had to get emergency surgery and I had to phone my family and tell them I need help and instead of helping me through the crisis it was either "pets die you can't drop $6k on them" or "that doctor sounds like they're just trying to extort money from you just bring her home". And then I get a speeding ticket in the mail for going 34 in a 25 because I was transferring her from one vet hospital to the next for emergency surgery.
I cry and I cry and it's all I can do because what's the alternative?
I'm almost 28 and it's pathetic but what does it matter anymore?
I try and I try and I try and it's all I can do but sometimes it doesn't feel like people see that? I almost started crying during my job dialogue when my boss told me he's proud of what I've accomplished in the 6 months in my new position. I've been with the same company for 3 years and it's the longest job I've held and I keep from job searching because it stresses me out so much and I enjoy the security of not having to worry about whether I'll be able to afford food or not. It's not the best job in the world but it's enough to keep me stable.
I can't get past hating my parents for not giving me what I need. I can't get past my mom fighting with me constantly over the smallest disagreement. For not listening to me when I know what I'm talking about. For not being there for me when I needed her.
I'm almost 28 and I'm crying all the time in my room, in my car, on the shoulder of a coworker who is the only person who knows how to comfort me and talk to me when my emotions are overwhelming. She's the first person in my life who sits me down when I'm upset and talks to me calmly and tells me she loves me. Instead of ignoring me or trying to distract me from what hurts.
I'm almost 28 and it's the first time I had a coworker notice I was feeling down and offer to buy me coffee to cheer me up. It's the first time I had anyone do that for me on a whim when we're just friends.
I cry when I'm happy and I cry when I'm sad and it's almost like half my personality these days.
I know how to keep going but it's still really hard. So it's okay to cry, you know? And I don't get why it's such a big deal to cry. Life is hard.
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Holiday/winter prompt: cider and gingerbread for Eileen meeting Basilone on one of his war bond tours - non-romantic, just a platonic crossing of paths
And now, appearing in THIER THIRSTY THURSDAY DEBUT - the best double header since Nixon and Warren, honestly.
For as long as he'd rehearsed his speech, he knew the bit that happened after by heart, too.
There would be the reporters, flashbulbs and notepads at the ready, the children with their autograph books or comics pages, pens sticky with excitement, their fathers, lingering at their shoulders, ready with the already tired jokes. "Hey, Gunney - that Miss Hammond's a knockout, ain't she?"
And he'd beam and smile, like he had a secret he didn't feel like keeping, and say "Brother, you don't know the half of it," and all the guys would chuckle and whistle, and that would be that.
The truth was that he'd already tried plucking that particular Irish rose, but Eileen Hammond wasn't just some starlet with smoke in her eyes, and she wasn't buying what he was selling, and made sure to tell him so the first chance she got on their tour. "Listen, Gunney," she said one night, early on, after the show, when he'd gone in for a kiss and she'd very neatly sidestepped him - "if we're going to be doing this tour, we're not going to have time for that, so you'll have to save it for some other girl who cares." And that was that. There weren't a lot of people who told him no, these days, and it was...nice, somehow, to have someone who wouldn't sugar coat things and would give it to you straight. He found himself in her dressing room, some nights after the show, sharing a pot of coffee and just...talking. She was an interesting woman, when he stopped to listen to how she'd gotten where she was - had joined the WAC and then gone to basic training to be a paratrooper, of all things, and failed out for some chickenshit medical thing that shouldn't have been a problem in the first place. They swapped stories about their families, John reading letters from home and Eileen from her fanmail and her friends in the paratroops, including their one mutual acquaintance. ("You tried to feel up JOAN?" Eileen was practically cackling when he put two and two together and told that story. "Oh, John. They ought to give you a medal for that - you're really not her type.")
And today he was doing one more walk of shame, with a smarting cheek and the handprint to show for it. She almost didn't need to ask, but this was what they were now, and it felt better to say it aloud. "Rita?" He nodded, and Eileen rolled her eyes. "John, you've got to get better taste in women, she was going to be trouble from day one."
"All the good ones are already taken," he said with a smile, knowing it was cheesy and lame but not giving a damn.
Eileen rolled her eyes and threw the box in her hands at him. "Brought your mail," she offered, sitting down on a steamer trunk. "Looks tasty," she offered, grinning when he looked at her with a frown.
"You read the address," he accused, and she shrugged. "You know my ma would send you some cookies too, if you asked," he said, untying the string and peeling away the paper to get to the letter and the promised tin of cookies inside. "Italian mothers - they'll feed anyone." He jimmied the lid and offered them to Eileen, who took one without looking and grinned.
"But it's more fun stealing yours," she said through her smile, and got a cuff on the shoulder for her efforts.
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS BROTP?
#i have written a thing#1940s girl gang#eileen hammond#john basilone#thirsty thursday#mercurygraypresents
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✨ Internet Safety ✨
For our generation today, the internet is probably the safest place to be in. People can be whoever they want, express whatever they want, and enjoy themselves however they want. I must admit, I would also say that I couldn’t live without the internet. Internet is just the solution to every problem, right? Now, we can even earn money in the comfort of our rooms with the help of the internet. Should we spend hours travelling just to buy stuff? Nah, we got the internet! With just several clicks we can already make an order and just wait on our couch to receive it. Oh no, COVID-19 ruled the world! No worries, we are backed up by the internet. Online classes, online transactions, online dating. You name it. The internet is there for us, or is it? Is it our safe haven?
We have put so much trust in the internet, but we didn’t know it can also be our biggest predator. Online transactions were fun until you got scammed and lost all your money. Online dating them feel loved until the person they were talking to is a catfish. Streaming online made him famous and rich, until his account got hacked. And there are still millions of stories out there that should awake us from believing that the internet is the safest thing in the world.
Below are some possible dangers you could encounter online.
1. Cyberbullying
I’m sure many of you have heard of this. But even though we are fully aware of it, it is still one of the major problems until now. As we casually scroll in our social media feeds, it is already normal for us to see people making fun of or “bashing” other people. It became so prevalent that we could call it a normal thing. According to UNICEF (2019), one in three young people has said that they have been a victim of cyberbullying and that it affected almost half of the Filipino children aged 13-17. We need to know that even a single word like “tanga” or “bobo” we see in our social media platforms and online gaming worlds could affect or traumatize us greatly.
2. Data Being Stolen
Some people nowadays are getting better at doing this. They can steal your money from your accounts, apply for a loan or credit card using your name, or sell your information to an online criminal as well. The hidden website is packed with criminals who purchase and sell stolen personal data. If your data is stolen, you can experience spam attacks. But most of these data thefts try to steal sensitive information, such as your credit card or personal information to commit identity theft.
3. Exposure to Inappropriate Material
Another risk especially for children and teenagers are exposure to inappropriate materials that are sexual, hateful, or violent. The chance and probability for children to look at anything inappropriate rely on how much they do online as they get more active online at a younger age. Whether it's a free-time graphic pop-up commercial, children's cartoon characters in adult circumstances or a self-harm forum, an innocent search might expose these children to contents that make them feel puzzled and angry. Some of the inappropriate content includes pornographic material, content containing swearing, sites that encourage racism, violence, terrorism, or even suicide, sexism sites, or gambling sites, and so on.
Based on my own experiences, here are some tips I would like to share to you to look after your privacy and secure your internet safety:
1. Keep your software up-to-date
Not only will you get a better program experience, but you will also be able to iron out your security issues. But the reason why you must keep it updated is that hackers are fast enough to become aware of certain software’s vulnerabilities, thus could harm your computer system and personal data. If you avoid doing these updates, you are bound to face persistent bugs, data loss, malware infection, and of course security issues.
2. Update your passwords
Why do we need to constantly change our passwords? So that we can reduce the risk of other people having access to our accounts, thus corrupt our personal data. Using strong passwords is necessary for us to prove our identity in our accounts, websites, or our computer itself (Wright, 2021). My tip in creating passwords is random characters with a symbol, number, and at least one capital letter. The reason for this is that using weak passwords, such as patterns of letters and numbers, or simply your name and some important date you know can cause hackers to guess and open your account, hence impersonate you to commit fraud and other crimes.
3. Use two-factor authorization
Familiar with this term? Yes, a two-factor authorization (2FA) is an extra step to keep your accounts more secure and avoid getting hacked by others. One of the most common 2FA methods is one-time codes sent through SMS or email, authenticator apps such as Google Authenticator, and security keys such as U2F tokens (Drozhzhin, 2018). This one for me is the best 2FA authorization because only your private key will confirm your login. If someone will try to log in to your account with the wrong security key, they will not be granted access to your account. So, there you go. A series of two-factor authorizations that will secure your accounts the best way possible. You’re welcome!
4. Be careful what you click on
Have you heard of phishers? They are attackers that send a fraudulent message designed to trick and victimize us into revealing sensitive information to them. As scary as it sounds, we need to be aware of what we click on to avoid experiencing this. Phishing is usually done in an email when they get your email address from somewhere. These phishers try to create a fake website to trick you into typing in your personal information. It’s much easier for them to hack our accounts this way. To avoid this, you can check the URL’s legitimacy by using the Google Transparency Report or simply avoid suspicious emails which require your personal information. Think before you click!
5. Back-up your data
Data back-up and recovery has many advantages. Some of these are protecting and saving your data, provides ease of management, ensures accurate information of your data, quick access to data, scalability, and such (Becker, 2021). There are many other ways to back up your data, but here’s a simple way to manually back up your data in your phone is to open your phone’s settings app, tap system and click backup or search backup in your settings app, then tap back-up now. It’s that simple.
6. Set up notifications for your most important bank accounts
As online bank account holders, it is our responsibility to making sure our accounts are protected. Online accounts are one of the easy targets of hackers to whisk away our money with just a couple of keystrokes. To safeguard our online banking, we may choose an industrial-standard security bank or credit union that utilizes text or e-mail warnings avoids the use of public Wi-Fi access and periodically changes your password.
7. Protect your personal information
This might be difficult for those who like to express themselves on social media, but we must protect our personal identity to avoid any sort of online threats. To protect our identity, we must limit the amount of personal information we share or provide. We shouldn't share or provide this information online: exact home address, your place and schedules of classes or work, birthday, cellphone number, and most importantly our passwords or account information. Another tip is to write down in a small notebook all your passwords and keep them safe in a secure place away from your computer.
8. Use parental controls and stay present
With the pandemic going on right now, parents should be extra careful of what their children see and hear about themselves and who they encounter on the internet. To protect your children from internet risks, talk to them frequently, utilize tools to safeguard them and watch out for their work. Monitor the time of your child, especially the younger ones, about when and how long they stay online. Keep your computer at a central location in your house, where it's easy to watch what your children do and look at online. You may configure them for mobile devices to forget Wi-Fi passcodes for your kids not to go online without knowledge. Review privacy and location settings, parental control and use secure browsers, apps, search engines and YouTube search settings. Lastly, limit camera and video to prevent your children from accidentally taking photos or videos of themselves or others.
The internet does not usually hurt us unless we react to suspect material and websites. The first reason you don't know what you're doing is because of internet damage. Secondly, you may react or click on links such as appealing advertisements, infected software and communications when you have other forces. To ensure internet safety, just remember those tips above and these three things: secure your network, be responsible, and make the internet child-safe.
References:
Becker, D. (2021). 6 Advantages of Data Backup and Recovery. IT Central Station. Retrieved from https://www.itcentralstation.com/articles/6-advantages-of-data-backup-and-recovery
Drozhzhin, A. (2018). SMS-based two-factor authentication is not safe — consider these alternative 2FA methods instead. Kaspersky Daily. Retrieved from https://www.kaspersky.com/blog/2fa-practical-guide/24219/
Wright, J. (2021). Why Is it Important to Change Your Password? Small Business Chron. Retrieved from https://smallbusiness.chron.com/
Online bullying remains prevalent in the Philippines, other countries (2019). Unicef Philippines. Retrieved from https://www.unicef.org/philippines/press-releases/online-bullying-remains-prevalent-philippines-other-countries
25 Best Internet Safety Tips for Every Situation (2021). The Neeva Team. Retrieved from https://neeva.com/learn/25-best-internet-safety-tips-for-every-situation
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Tark: Tark's sitting there, "So you're not mad at me anymore, it's fine that you're mad at me, it's totally cool if you're mad at me I just, you know..." And then he's like trying to calm down his hair and put it back up into a braid, but it's not going well 'cause he's shaky, "You know, it's okay if you're still mad right, but you don't have to not be mad just...."
Carver: I am not mad at you, but I am mad.
Tark: Okay. Is there... anything I can do?
Carver: No.
Tark: Oh, alright. You sure?
Carver: Nah. You've done enough. I appreciate it.
Tark: 'Kay.
Carver: Just don't lie to me, ever again.
Tark: Okay.
Carver: That's what you can do.
Tark: Yes. I'll tell you everything from now on. Just okay, yeah I will, I'll tell you everything.
Carver: And you keep her safe wherever you go.
Tark: "Yes, I will 100%" And Tark is reforming plans of 'god that means I gotta get up close there because Hunt's always in the thick of things.' and Tark's thinking, 'I gotta get better boots!' *groans* 'I'm gonna be right there. Okay, protective spells, gotta gotta' He's sending up a prayer, 'Mom, you gotta help me on this. I don't know how to do this.' "I'll do it, right there, I will do whatever you want, as long as you're not mad at me."
Carver: I'll keep that in mind, I might be mad later.
Tark: Oh.
Eudora (OOC): [in chat] Hunt is Tark's cousin now.
Tark: Alright, okay. Alright.
Carver: Go home, you look terrible.
Tark: "Yeah, okay thanks. Alright okay." He's gonna leave the cards though. He's gonna leave the cards there.
Carver: You forgot your cards.
Tark: He's gonna leave the cards there and go home. 'Cause he's gonna come back the next day and be like, 'Oh my god, I left my cards. How are you doing? Is there anything I can...' He leaves the cards, and goes home and then sees if Tilly's up and then he's gonna have a very awkward conversation and tell her everything.
Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] like stealing your crushes mail except making your crush steal your mail
#D&D mischief#Relni campaign#Relni Recap#Relni Chapter 26#If Tark verbally refers to Hunt as his cousin or be like 'I'm her cousin-in-law' she will legit be like#'You're not even courting him! Slow the fuck down!'#it would also be funny if Carver asked Hunt to return the cards XD
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Jungkook's first love. Angst and smut, inspired by the song California.
It was a rare rainy August day in California. The heavy drops created a sad melody on the window as you put the dishes away. Tired and lonely, the feeling in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up.
It was the second month of not making rent and it was only a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning duties for money.
Standing in the kitchen feeling stupid, It had taken you way longer than it should have to realize in LA you were nothing. Not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough.
Gathering up the mail that was strewn across the countertop, you shuffled through to sort priority. Junk mail, bills, personal… one standing out in particular. The penmanship was nice, black ink, unassuming envelope, but it was the stamp that caught your attention, it was sent from Korea.
The top had already been torn, the letter having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face, why wouldn’t he write to you?
It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find his fragrance, something, anything to trigger a happy memory. How many times had you borrowed his sweater just to have his smell on your skin? Cool California nights were the best excuse to wrap yourself in his scent.
You missed him, it had been a year and a half since he’d last come around.
It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free.
I’m feeling low, I don’t know who I am, only who I’m supposed to be.
What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roommates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends.
Does she even think about me?
It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it’s not enough. I would give anything to wake up in bed beside her everyday. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can’t. I've made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I’m destined to keep her at an arm’s length so she’ll never know the price I paid.
How does she even see me now? Just an Idol? Has she forgotten the days we spent together?
I’ve been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…
~When I see you smile in the screen
You’re good at everything
You’re just perfect
Feels like I've never been you
Do you even see me?
Do you know who I am?
Or how do I look now?
You don’t like me like that
I want to be your decalcomania~
I’m afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of Y/N are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality.
JK
Clutching the letter to your chest, your mind took you back to that day.
“Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium"
You’d both laughed at the strange name, reading the description of the art on the museum wall during your visit so long ago.
California had lured you into its promise when you turned 14. Having been accepted to an intensive dance program at The Movement Lifestyle Studio you packed up and headed West for the summer.
It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time took their places in the studio.
Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. Calling out names they put you into groups, it appeared to be by age so you made your way to the tiny gathering of four.
Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated. "This is Jungkook.”
He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations. Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends.
Absolutely exhausted at the end of the first few days he’d knocked at your door.
He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members, he couldn’t sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent.
Inseparable, days and nights were spent side by side, the others began referring to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life but like every boy meets girl summer story, it had to come to a close. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways.
Jungkook would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members. He’d facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters.
They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with, "I miss you" and a few lines of lyrics he’d written.
You didn’t know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.
Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You went to the small tour stops when they came through in 2015, KCon in 2016, but 2017 was different.
Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you’d be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing rapidly.
Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room so you could spend your nights catching up. He had strict rules. Girls were not allowed and even though it was just friendship, it could be easily misconstrued by the fans. Everything had to be done in secret. The boys would bring in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight.
While happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to.
“I wish I could go and explore the city with you like we used to,” his voice trailed off.
You were laying in each other’s arms cuddling on his bed. Leaning over he kissed the top of your head.
“All I really want is to take you on a proper date."
Your head moved on his chest as he inhaled deeply.
"I’ve been waiting so long to become someone, to become a man worthy of your affection. Now I’m stuck, I have everything and I’m not allowed to share it with you.”
His arms gripped you tighter, “I’m sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don’t expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and there won’t be anybody else, ever."
You remembered every word of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people.
He left in the morning without knowing. You were too afraid to tell him, you loved him too.
LA became home right after the they left Anaheim. Focused on dancing, if you became good enough maybe you could join the tour with him.
A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later.
"Congratulations on your new house in LA!
I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it’s hard living with others sometimes.
Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all our friends, we were having a party on the beach and we sat together and watched the sunset.
Remember after practice we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn’t miss the colors?
Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again.
I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you.
We are coming back in November for a few days and I’m hoping I can see you, I’m lonely already.
Jeongguk
~Won’t you please stay in dreams
I can hear the sea from far away
Across the dream, over the bush
Go there where it becomes clear
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
When I’m with you, I’m in utopia~
When The AMAs came, all of your friends in LA were involved with the production. Your roommates helped organize the coup to steal Jungkook away so you could take him on a real date.
Having enlisted Namjoon to help, the boys would cover for his whereabouts. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn’t late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work.
It was Namjoon’s job to get him out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Jungkook must have eaten something bad for lunch. Claiming to not feel well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotel's back receiving door.
Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses. What you wouldn’t give now to see that smile again.
Barely giving him time to get in you’d sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger.
"Kookie, I hope you're ready for the best day of your life! We’re going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then, instead of returning you to your fancy 5 star hotel you’re staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!”
He laughed, so pure and happy, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last time he got to be his true self, Jeongguk the man not Jungkook the personna?
Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it.
Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren’t looking. If you weren’t sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.
Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, “Ahhh Jagi, I can’t believe you brought me here.”
Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio this used to be your escape. Every break you’d make your way to the tree for time alone, together.
With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled. It felt like he wanted to say something, cutting him short you pulled him up and back towards the car.
Making your way to the Movement studio the students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class.
Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with every move.
Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close, “You stink Jungkook, I think our next stop is the ocean.”
You remember pulling away, how stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy, but you had a plan and limited time to execute it.
The Ocean was cold but the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but was still wearing his shirt.
“Kookie, this isn’t Korea, you don’t have to be so modest here. Plus, you should grab some sun, you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed… you look really good.”
He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request.
Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could.
The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in.
Leading him out of the water you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you under your neck and you cuddled into his side.
“My god Guk, look at your abs!”
He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach.
“Stop, it tickles,” he giggled.
But you didn’t, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn’t move. He had you pinned, flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him.
Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side.
“Welcome back,” running your hand through the back of his hair, it was now or never.
Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you.
“I love you,” you whispered.
Nose to nose he smiled at you and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.
It didn’t last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, you'd been careless, photos and videos of him from the studio had been posted online.
“I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.”
His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand.
“Let’s get out of here, you promised I wouldn’t be going back to my hotel tonight.”
If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?
The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation hung in the air.
It wasn’t just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, holding the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever.
Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke, “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I’m not going to get to see you again for a very long time. Management is going to do everything to keep us apart and that won’t be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don’t want you to get hurt."
Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist.
"The only way I can be hurt is if I never get to experience all of you. I can’t live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours if only for the night.”
He rested his head against your chest, “You’ll always be mine.”
His hands traveled to the hem of your shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them.
Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples.
“I’ve never done this before,” he confessed.
“Me either,” you whispered, “So, I guess the bar's pretty low.”
His giggles cut the tension before he pulled you on top of him onto the bed. More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it’s home between your legs.
He was soft and careful, placing his lips over your clit sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn’t be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slid inside you.
“It feels good Kookie, please…”
He sighed as his mouth picked up speed and another finger slid in. Moving your hips to meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly.
“The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined.”
Devouring your clit in sessions between his words you came hard on his tongue.
“I made you so wet,” he said, impressed with himself.
Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed the dampened hair off your face, “Are you ok? Do you need anything?”
He placed his forehead against yours.
“Just you Kookie, I love you so much… I want you so badly.”
Moving slowly he lined himself up with your wet entrance.
“Tell me if you need me to stop okay?”
He pushed slowly and you could feel yourself stretching around him. He watched your face and froze when he saw the tear roll out of the corner of your eye.
“I’m so sorry, let’s stop, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He thumbed away the tear.
“No, baby… I’m okay… I’m just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I’m feeling right now.”
He smiled down at you, pressing his body closer as he gave another push until he was fully inside. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom.
You kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you fell asleep wrapped around each other.
Every few hours he’d wake you up, checking to make sure it wasn’t a dream, you'd made love each time, everytime better than the last.
It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more.
“I have to leave soon. I don’t want to,” he spoke nestled into your neck just under your ear, “Please tell me to stay.”
Your heart broke at his words, “If I ask you to stay, I’m selfish, you’ll always wonder if you made the right decision. If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… ” your voice trailed off...
“And I’ll always wonder if I made the right decision,” he finished.
Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up.
It was Joon, “I’m outside, sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them I’d come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye.”
Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, “Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you’re probably in trouble too.”
Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms waiting,
"Thank you for yesterday.“
Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle, and knew he was crying.
You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and Namjoon’s voice broke through the moment.
"We’ve got to go Jungkook.”
Stepping away you’d left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you, “You keep it.”
He kissed you one last time and turned the handle opening it to reveal Namjoon. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.
Turning one more time his eyes were filled with tears and he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan.
For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart.
You held onto your silly notions until May when they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through you empty heart and then he was gone again.
Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind, opening old wounds.
He was just as sad as you but what could you do? Picking up a pen you began writing…
I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter
You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better
I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing
You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are
And honey, you don’t ever have to act cooler than you think you should
You’re brighter than the brightest stars
You’re scared to win, scared to lose
I’ve heard the war was over if you really choose
The one in and around you
You hate the heat, you got the blues
You’re changing like the weather, oh, that’s so like you
I’ll pick you up
I’ll catch you on the flipside
If you come back to California
We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far
We’ll hit up all the old places
We’ll have a party, we can dance till dawn…
Y/N
October came and a chill was in the air, the smell of winter hit your nose and you stopped to take it in.
Bundled in Jungkook’s hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. Movement had hired you on for a new intensive program and today you were going to meet your students.
So many memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do.
Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror writing something on the glass, It couldn’t be?
Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you,
“Hi.”
He walked towards you slowly, unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution.
“Hi.”
You were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he’d grown more handsome.
“I can’t change what happened… and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for all of the time we missed.”
He was getting closer.
“But I can’t take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…”
He reached for your hand but you pulled it away. His head fell in disappointment.
“Jungkook, I can’t listen to this… look at me.”
Reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again.
“I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that was out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I can only be grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story.”
He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin.
“God I’ve missed you” he said as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.
“How long are you here? I’ve got to teach class.. It’s my first day but I’d love it if we could catch up?”
He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness.
Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face.
“I’m your private lesson Jagi, I’ve booked you for the next two weeks”
Taking a step back you had to ask, “How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?”
Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you.
“There is no more giving up… on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn’t negotiate on…that’s you."
Holding you tightly he moved you to look at the mirror.
"I wrote you something”
Please call my name one more time
I’m standing under the frozen light,
but I’ll walk step by step towards you
Still with you
“Y/N, I promise I’ll never let you go again"
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He did the Day hike and practically everybody could do it and he was just out of shape and he felt good afterwards so tons of people did the Day hike and it was a huge thing I wasn't saying that's no big deal and they asked him once and he said it's not supposed to be a big deal it's an aggressive time it's just class and you don't have to be Evad hiker and one day someone said when we make it really hard to show we can do better and they did this bike thing tells people died people still die on it and it says it looks kind of odd don't you think the stone and they'll be able to think about it I said yes it looks very odd to see what do you think it is a Kaiju this is you what do you think he goes oh Wise Guy. Then nothing and the guy was freaking out I think he was going to come alive and said how long do I have tons of times we just let him go on and on and on it goes home and screaming in and gets a knife and starts killing his own people stress attacking people all over the place turns out that he's a bja and I can't handle any kind of stress like that so we have to put him down and they keep doing it all over the place and we're attacking them and striking them hard by the way it was only going to tell you today but we're going to put the story out there now he's a he's a harsh so that I know how to put it I'm going to list it that way
Thor Freya
I suggest you do something similar Max because this lackadaisical Brian will do the right thing crap is not happening and we're trying to suck them in as much as possible but you have a problem keep it committing terror attacks on you and stealing stuff and hanging over to us in a second act of treason they are terrorists they are listed as terrorists they're persona is he usually in terrace form where the domestic or international it's not that hard to say that you have a system in place and it's not fully utilized and it's risky because we don't want you running around trying to rest us because of this turd of yours it's ruined your life
Zues Hera
I've heard him put well but this is put very well this boy is a terrorist overseas and is a terrorist here and he goes around using it to threaten for a stuff and he loses our stuff because he's just a terrorist and I want him down I want him out and forever I'm going to run a whole bunch of things that make him a runner and drag his idiots out and get him wherever he goes this is as foolishness and he's going after Trump and he's going to try and use that as cover and he's a fool because even if he gave stuff he loses it then he won't stop
Mac daddy
We're on board with the terrorist stuff and we started to advertise it and we're putting it out there and we're sending out notices that he's wanted man to all the police and tons of them are telling us we know about it and then we said well why is the apprehended so they said okay actively we changed to notice and told them to pursue an actively and tons and tons of people are and it's a matter of what the plan is they say and we say he has been to be pursued actively most the time shoot on site is considered armed and dangerous and he is the most wiring person you've ever met in your life and he's also the most dangerous and it doesn't depend on who you are or where you are he's a piece of crap we'll try and take your money no matter what you're doing and CAA has encountered him millions of times and they try every time millions and millions of problems and thugs and armed ones too guns and knives and anything could imagine they've tried on him and he just sits there and calmly cool he says no I'll just kill you and they go away and they come back and tons of people are hitting him but he's thwarting them lots of times sometimes my hand and we see them push them away I haven't seen them fall down and they get hurt and it's ridiculous because it's like bag of jelly threatening everybody when you can easily beat them up that you do get surrounded quick so we have warning sound about that too if you engage prepare for a long fight with tons of them and you say this we need people to do that because there's way too many of them
Daniel
This statement by Daniel is true all of it and we don't really stop you from doing any of this to these idiots they are a danger and threat to everybody especially children and your children are horrified by them whenever we mention them we can see them shrinking in their seats or wherever they are to try and hide they are afraid of them and he was as well when he was little and started becoming a bully against them and he never stopped but Daniel's statement is true that you must fight them in order to stop them and everyone has to and it's going to happen today
Zues Hera
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