#like if they're Actual Trains that still need a driver and all that I can go

[ehyde]

More I learn about the history of Thomas the Tank Engine the more I do, in fact, want to gatekeep All Engines Go. The original author would've hated it at any rate.

[lunarlando]

thinking about girl dad!lando 💭

a/n: hello and welcome!!! first ln4 post of many to come hopefully. i have so many more thoughts about this, so if anyone wants to come chat or bring up some headcanons of their own, feel free to pop into my inbox :)

girl dad!lando who can hardly believe his ears when you tell him you're pregnant. he's at the height of his career, and having a baby would be a huge change. he's still young, of course, but when he thinks about who he wants to do life with for the rest of his years, the resounding answer is you. so finding out that in nine months time, you're both going to be bringing a child into the world—one that could quite possibly turn out anything like you—oh, he's over the moon. he doesn't even know if it'll be a girl or a boy yet, but either way, he's beyond excited.

girl dad!lando who hates missing appointments and checkups all the time due to the constrains of his job. he wants to be there with you every single time, but with training and races and all the traveling, it's just not in the cards. occasionally he'll be able to pop in via video chat or phone call, but most of the time you have to update him after all is said and done, and he hates it. he feels guilty that he can't be there for you as often as he wants to. you assure him time and time again that it's okay; as long as your baby is healthy, it's okay. he'll have all the time in the world to spend time with them once they're born.

girl dad!lando who becomes even more excited when you find out you're having a girl. it was one thing to think about this baby and wonder about all the possibilities. it's something entirely different actually knowing. he hopes with all his heart that she looks exactly her mother, and already knows she's got him wrapped around her finger. he does his research too—sends you countless articles from parenting blogs and tries to educate himself on how to be the best parent so his baby girl will thrive as she grows up.

girl dad!lando who absolutely refuses to miss the birth of his daughter. he doesn't care what race week it falls on, doesn't care how much shit he'll get into for missing it, on this he stands entirely firm. nothing will prevent lando from being right beside you the entire time. and when the day does come, it's the first time mclaren has to bring up a reserve driver for him. he's a whirlwind around the house when you tell him it's time to go the hospital, grabbing the baby bag you'd both pre-packed and sending off texts to everyone important, making sure everything is in order before helping you waddle to the car. and much to your annoyance, he's never driven so slowly through monaco as he does on the way there. you're surprised you don't have the baby right there in the car with the way he crawls through the streets at a snail's pace.

girl dad!lando who nearly cries when he first gets to hold his little girl in his arms. she's just so...tiny, compared to him. she latches onto him instantly, little hand curling tight around his finger like she knows he's her papa. in that moment, looking down at this precious thing cradled against his bare chest, he vows to never ever let anyone or anything hurt her, for as long as he lives. it's like his heart has made its way outside his chest and into his hands. he actually does cry when he looks over at you—the one who made all this possible. he knows for a fact he'll never love anyone or anything as much as he loves the two of you.

girl dad!lando who takes a month or so off to spend time with you and baby girl norris and settles into fatherhood surprisingly well. he's the definition of doting dad too, taking care of everything he can so you can rest as much as having a newborn will let you. he also does a massive amount of shopping, even though baby girl norris had already gotten everything a baby could ever need, even before she was born. they ranged from practical items like bottle warmers and value size packs of diapers (thanks to her uncles checo, hulk, and kmag, who knew what parents actually needed) to a copious amount of formula 1 team themed attire (redbull onesies from uncle max, ferrari bibs from uncle charles and uncle carlos, mclaren everything from uncle osc, you name it). stuffed toys, baby books, hats, bibs, even teeny tiny baby sized sunglasses—baby girl norris already has a fan club of aunties and uncles surrounding her.

girl dad!lando who can't sleep sometimes, so he just watches his baby girl sleep, just so he knows she's okay. and when she cries herself awake in the middle of the night, he's right there to soothe her, picking her up, holding her close to his chest, rocking her back and forth gently. he talks to her too—tells her stories about how her mama and papa met, how much you love each other and how much you love her. stories about his family and your own family, about his racing family, his best friends. everyone he loves already loves her too. one time you rouse from your sleep to find his side of the bed and her crib empty, and you almost panic before spotting a faint glow coming from the living room. upon further inspection, you find him doing laps around the sofa, gently pat pat patting her back to get her to sleep again. your heart breaks wide open at the sight of the two loves of your life bonding.

girl dad!lando who gets so nervous the first time you bring baby girl norris to a race. she's a little bit older at this point, old enough to take in all the sights and sounds of the bustling paddock, but still young enough to where she has no idea what's going on. he carries her on his hip, shielding her eyes and ears from the flashing cameras and loud noises, beelining right for mclaren hospitality as quick as he can so she can get settled before he gets too busy. he worries about her constantly—is it too hot or too cold out for her (you've got a cute little romper and a jacket in the baby bag if either is the case), will she get bored (give her a plastic spoon and she'll be entertained for hours), is it too loud for her (mclaren engineering fashioned a custom set of baby sized headphones just for this occasion). you have to be the one to stop him from pacing a hole in the floor and tell him he's got more pressing things to prepare for.

basically girl dad!lando who does his best to be the best dad he can be for his little girl, even though he might not be around as often as he'd like.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

The Outsiders as Modern Fast Food Employees

Based on stuff I have seen/done at work

-The management very clearly have a 'brand' about who works out front, so stereotypically 'pretty' people are usually interacting with customers and everyone else gets banished to the grill (this is a real thing that happened at my work. We have one token dude who works at the front and the rest of us are all rosy cheeked young girls with long hair. Seriously, put me and most of my female coworkers together we look scarily similar) POINT IS Soda, Ponyboy, and Angela would all get to work front of house

-Steve works grill and he's the coworker everyone likes for no reason, he's just chill and good at what he does and helps out when front of house is swamped without needing to be asked or being a dick about it

-Every fast food place has one good manager and one evil manager (it's a canon event ok) and as long as the evil manager isn't working Steve lets everyone working eat some of the leftover fries before he chucks them each night

-Ponyboy found a mouse in the walk in pantry once and took it home in a cup to keep as a pet. Darry wouldn't let him, so Curly agreed to foster it for him, and now they relentlessly refer to it as 'the baby'. Newly hired coworkers are always confused and a little concerned because are they actually gay teen parents? No, they're just dumbasses, but no one tells the new hires that because it's fun to see how long it takes them to figure out they're cooing about a pet MOUSE not a human child

-Everyone chats and shit talks over the headsets all the time, even though they're not supposed to. Since Curly and Angela speak spanish but no one else does, they shit talk about the evil manager when she's there, and tell her they're talking about their brother if she ever asks what they're going on about

-Sodapop hates working drive through but gets it almost every shift since he's one of the few people trained to do it

-Two-bit is that guy who's technically employed but has like...one scheduled shift a week and still calls in all the time

-Theres a group chat where the schedule gets shared but only Soda and Steve ever use it, and never for it's intended purpose

-Angela can cry on command and anytime a customer starts to complain about anything she immediately bursts into tears. As soon as the customer leaves she stops

-Angela's customer service voice is already high pitched (we love customer service voice woohoo) but when she's working drive through it's so shrill its a wonder anyone can understand her

-Darry has his other jobs so he definitely wouldn't work where the rest of them work but he's that family member that stops by all the time and chates to soda and/or pony for half an hour and everyone else is annoyed 'cause they gotta pick up the slack.

-Dallas also wouldn't work with them because that man could NOT do customer service but him and Tim could drop by all the time and be really nice to the workers but yell at other customers. Someone is letting their kid run wild in the lobby? Tim's scolding that kid AND their mother. Some old guy is bring curt with the staff? Dally's gonna be more than curt to him

-Johnny would be a doordash/skip driver but he's at the store so often that everyone greets him by name and kinda treats him like an honorary employee

[heychucklenuts]

after I saw a headcanon about the mercs as Uber drivers; how about the mercs (plus ms. Pauling) but they are Airbnb hosts?

Miss Pauling and the Mercs as Air BNB Hosts

Coming from someone with a very limited idea of what an Airbnb host does, had to research a bit. I get the gist of it but still.

The very idea of this is frightening to me but in the best ways possible. I also like to think if they were put into this situation, it was a Mann Co. ordinance to say the company isn't as bad as people think it is, so there's more people coming to Teufort, and also to make the Mann Brothers even more money. (If that is even possible.) I also like to consider this something where they either fully understand what they're supposed to be doing or they completely wing it, no real in-betweens.

Miss Pauling

Probably one of the more responsible ones in terms of being a host, making sure to greet people staying and give them a little tour of the place, and overall just ensure they have a pleasant experience. She's very keen on keeping up with property maintenance, and once the people staying leave she'll do her rounds of the place to make sure there's no damage, or that nobody left anything behind. Maintenance is usually taken care of by Engie, and general house decoration is done by herself, or by Heavy since he can reach up higher. Pictures are done by Sniper since he has the best ability to capture the spirit of a place, and she makes sure they get paid for their help. But of course, she still has a job to carry out for The Administrator, so sometimes she'll use the Airbnb to trap people who need to be "taken care of", so to speak. Any bodies are disposed of appropriately, and blood and other gorey materials are promptly cleaned up, staging the scene to make it seem like they just canceled their reservations. Though, belongings of the missing individuals sometimes end up in thrift stores or antique shops.

Scout

He treats his time as a host more as him being a host for MTV Cribs, he doesn't understand that hosting means he has to take on more of a professional role. So, to a lot of people, Jeremy the Host is more like a party house owner than anything. He stocks up, he lets people drink, party, and he even gets involved in it quite a bit, leading to him skateboarding into a ditch in the middle of Teufort. This leads to issues when the parties get to be a bit too much though, leading to him either having to kick people out, or end up having to spend a good chunk of the money he made on repairing holes in the wall, or trying to figure out how to install a new toilet because the one he had magically disappeared. He gets scolded constantly for allowing such reckless things to happen, but his only rebuttal is "Hey, I'm makin' us money, ain't I? So quit worryin'." If people come just to stay there and not party, he awkwardly tries to make small talk, or something. Again, not understanding that it's people using the space for there own purposes, not something where the host is having a sleepover. But, he's just trying to make sure everyone is comfortable, even if he is obnoxiously awkward about it. The weirdest thing he does is stock the fridge with Bonk! in all kinds of flavors, and he'll also have at least one bucket of chicken in there, nice and cold for the guests.

Soldier

Probably the lowest rated experience within all the mercs because of his insistence of patriotism and MREs. He truly makes you feel like you're in army boot camp, having rules such as waking up at 5am (he says 0500 hours of course), doing exercise, training, and having rations for meals. Actually, he doesn't make you feel like you're in army boot camp, he just runs the Airbnb as one. And it's weird, because if he advertises it as an Airbnb, he get's horrible reviews. But if he advertises it as "Sergeant Doe's Boot Camp", he gets a lot more positive feedback from random people who decide to go visit. It almost becomes like an attraction for Teufort, and instead of being a tourist trap and labeled thusly, it's more of something painfully fun for people to go participate in. Of course while people think it's just fun and games, Soldier thinks it's just real life, no nonsense stuff. It also gives him an opportunity to fulfill his desire to want to be in this position, even if he's tried to be this way with the mercs. (As in, he's tried to be the sergeant of or leader of the mercenaries, not really to any avail.) People also go there for the added on mini-raccoon sanctuary, and the chance to be able to have raccoons wandering around the house. (Even if the contracts disclose there's a 72% chance of getting infected with rabies, people still go, and still pet the raccoons.) Plus if you get through an entire stay with Soldier, he will reward you with something. (Sometimes it's a bottle of water from Teufort, sometimes it's a rocket.)

Pyro

To Pyro, this meant new friends, and potentially a sleepover. And with Pyrovision, we know what they saw isn't what the guests saw. The place is decorated like Pyroland, or at least similarly to it. Very cutesy, almost like it was meant to be a place for families to stay. What scares people off is when they start to bring up fire, and also just how much fire-related paraphernalia is left out in the open. Blowtorches, matches, lighters, you name it. To some this is scary, to others its cool. And this seems like some of the only activity you find within the place, outside of the random Spy head they accidentally leave around who starts to insult you. Their presence as a host is either regarded as very sweet or very frightening, with very few in-betweens. They've gotten scolded a few times over for nearly burning the place down, but to them it's just adding more fun things to the place. To them, what they're doing is okay, and there's nothing wrong with it. In their view everyone is happy. The only saving grace with this is perhaps Engineer being by their side a lot, helping with the place, and undoing any damage they do. And also trying to get stuff in for the people staying there, such as a TV and other things to occupy themselves, and food that isn't just sweets and candies.

Demoman

Another one of the more popular hosts, namely due to the luxurious living conditions, and the only payment necessary to stay being alcohol. Buy him a pack of beer? You stay there for free. If you don't, you can just fork over enough money to pay for some alcohol. Given his insurmountable wealth, he provides one of the best experiences, even if he's found drunkenly wandering the halls of the place. Regardless of that, it's furnished, it's fancy, and you even get fancy foods to eat in the fridge, again, no charge. So if anyone is flocking to an Airbnb, it's the one he's a host of. He isn't demanding or anything along those lines, and if you choose to, he can (drunkenly) tell you about his family's history, and how he got to where he is. His presence makes the stay a bit more comforting, as it starts to feel like you have a friend you can talk to at any time you want. There really aren't any downsides to him, he's fair, and you get a cozy place to stay. Well, okay there's a couple downsides. You may have to deal with Eyelander's crap, and depending on the time of year you may have to bare witness to Demoman's eye coming to try and kill him. But 99% of the year you're golden to not have to deal with that.

Heavy

Heavy would be a polite host, probably would make a surplus of Sandviches, and has print-outs of the recipe for people to take home with them. He's kind and is willing to show people around, and introduce them to some of the books he's providing, his only rules are to make sure to be quiet after a certain point of time so that it's not noisy. He does enforce the noise cut off when it gets close to midnight, and is pretty strict about it too. "You are to go to sleep, not be rambunctious." Though he doesn't care if you stay up late, he just says that so you aren't disturbing other people. Like Sniper, Engineer, and Demoman, he is considered to be one of the favorites among the mercs being forced to host. He's considered to be fair and sweet amongst the people who are hosted, and a lot of them will recommend him to people who are thinking of staying in Teufort. He also randomly leaves out books about mini-gun care, and will sometimes talk to people about Sasha, correcting them when they think Sasha is some sort of significant other to him. As in thinking she is either a lover or possibly a child of his, which he has to clarify she is a gun, but he does say she has has her own thoughts and feelings. More in a joking sense, but he still loves to tell people about her.

Engineer

Definitely one of the favorite hosts. Sweet and kind man, makes the place he's in charge of look nice and cozy. Him and Sniper both would win for having the homiest places, and in Engie's case he's definitely have the vintage sense of style that has wood panel walls and such. It's cozy, and he tries to make sure all the spots in the house are cozy enough for the people staying, even going out of his way to maybe get some stuff to better suit people's comfort needs. He does regular maintenance, keeping up with the place every day on the dot. Any leaks, breaks, or cracks, they get fixed in minutes. Any complaints get answered, and he tries to assess the situation to the best of his abilities. And he tries to make small talk so long as the people he's hosting are cool with it, understanding some people wanna just be left alone. Funny enough he does keep in contact with some of the people he hosted after they leave, sometimes inviting them back for a little get together for free. Usually it's for a campfire or maybe a barbecue. He's definitely putting up the better front for the Mann Co. sponsored Airbnb's, and is one of the pillars ensuring the whole thing doesn't come crashing down.

Medic

The question is more why did anyone let this man be in charge of an Airbnb. To him this was the perfect opportunity to get free patients, which ends up making him the worst rated host. Reports of people waking up with multiple tongues, seeing in ultraviolet, and in some cases they wake feeling the need to breathe through water, rather than breathe pure oxygen. Countless instances of this have caused people to consider him frightening, and say that they never want to have him as a host or a doctor the rest of their lives. (To which he retorts, "Ha! As if you have control over that, Dummkopf!") He waits until people are asleep to be able to do these surgeries, and while sometimes they just happen in the bed, sometimes they are transported to his lab, especially if he needs special access to something, or if he needs a specific type of organ he doesn't carry on himself. The place is... not even fully normal, almost looking more like a doctor's office than anything. The rooms also aren't that appealing, looking more like medical rooms. Definitely not a fun place to stay, unless you're into that stuff, or you just really like medical horror. The only slightly nice thing is the flock of doves that randomly shows up... that is until you see Archimedes with blood on his feathers.

Sniper

He tries his best as a host. Tries to make the place look nice and homey, which he does a great job of. His aesthetic is one of rusticity and antiquated nature, so he'd probably make the Airbnb look a bit like his childhood home in Australia. As a host he's a bit quiet, not exactly keen on being around so many people (especially given his occupation), so he just gives the basic rules and says "make too big a mess and ya get to either clean it, or pay for it", which can be a bit threatening even if unintentional. He's one of the few mercs to make the place feel like a home, so it becomes very popular with older tourists, and people with kids, so it feels more like you're just staying at a grandparents house. He's not demanding, just wants you to respect the place and not break anything. (Especially since his mom's probably insisted on knitting a few tapestries for the place.) He himself is barely there, trying to focus on his normal day to day life without it somehow crashing with this weird attempt to not make Mann Co. look like a criminal organization. If he is there, it's usually for a little bit after people have gone to sleep/when he's waking up (so around 3am), and all he's really doing is making sure everything is in order, and maybe taking the time to do his laundry or take a shower. The people staying do know he does this, and he kinda brings it up beforehand. If they aren't comfy with it, he won't enter. But, he isn't there for long before he's back out the door, going to take on whatever jobs the day has.

Spy

Decadence behold this man as he is an Airbnb host. Quite similarly to Demoman he hosts in nothing more than luxury. More for himself, but, he provides it to others, albeit at a cost. See, this is his own abode, his own lounge. He does not want others to tamper with it, so he makes strict rules as to not go into certain areas. No going into the smoking room, the lounge, or a certain bedroom. Go in there, and you will either be kicked out or threatened. He does this for obvious reasons, he is a ladies man, after all, and he wouldn't want to end up disturbing the guests. ...Moreso he doesn't want them to disturb him. He doesn't even like having to be a host, finding it to be a waste of time. He tolerates it so that he may get paid, but that's about it. Despite being a man of mystery, he tends to loom throughout the place. He's wiped clean any proof of who he is as a person, but there's always a lingering fear he has forgotten something. A picture, a medical document, so on. That would be the end for him. Plus, he's particular about his things. So as much as he wants to try to trust anyone, he finds himself suspicious, and needing to make sure everything is in order by the end. If you decide to steal something of his, consider there to be a bounty on your head. His possessions are not cheap.

[ac-liveblogs]

Munchen Bastard vs Manshine City: The Finale

This panel is inexplicably hilarious to me. Isagi reflects so calmly on that batshit match like he and Kaiser were being completely normal and reasonable. That was an average match. Nothing to see or comment on there.

Is it still a technical foul if the one you're assaulting is on your own team? Anyway.

...god, I want to see what Blue Lock TV has to say about that one. You know it's wild when Nagi and Reo go full uh... Nagi and Reo, and they're still not the biggest trainwreck ('most interesting') of a duo on the field.

Ego talking about Nagi's goal as a one-hit wonder is interesting, because I think he's right that Nagi will never be able to replicate it. Nagi could barely keep that same energy going for the match he was already in, let alone another one. Nagi, whose only real faults read as 'just less experienced than everyone else', seems to finally be getting a real flaw he'll have to work on - motivation. Which is interesting, right, given his motivation is supposed to be getting the world cup with Reo - but that's not a big enough driver to keep him really going? Episode Nagi's reframing of events seems mildly contradictory in that way. Guess we'll see how it goes.

Suddenly, Yukimiya. You know a guy is screwed when he starts saying shit like "god never gives you more than you can handle!" He can pretend he's gonna be a player all he wants, I don't think he's coming back in any major capacity.

Oh yeah, speaking of Isagi blasting past people regardless of their sad backstories, Sae is inevitably going to be Isagi's midfielder later, right? Because screw Rin, right? That's awesome, I can't wait.

I don't know much about soccer, but as a 'playmaker' who is very good at strategic passing, would Isagi be better off as a midfielder like Sae? Is that a criminal thing to say. I'm sorry. Isagi's just really bad at actually scoring goals lately. Maybe he should refocus. Since he apparently thinks he doesn't need any special moves to get one over on Kaiser, he might want to build the skillset he definitely already has. (amazed at Isagi's hyper-confident bullshit).

Kaiser just like. Ruined a goal. For his own teammate. Is that legal? Should it be illegal? Obviously this shit can only happen in Blue Lock but is it REALLY something sponsors are gonna like like. 'oh yeah that's a good team player that guy he'll work really well in a team', REALLY?

I guess teams only seem to consist of like max. four relevant people at any one time so what does it matter... the author only sometimes remembers Chigiri and Kunigami are around... particularly insulting for Kunigami all things considered.

Actually, it'd be so cool if Kira reappears after Wild Card as a final joker card boss or something. I'd love that. Please do that. I'll be sad if that doesn't happen now.

Just once, I want to see these jackasses go up against a really competent goalie. I want Kaiser Impact stopped dead. Just once. Please.

For real though, it does make their soccer feel pretty 'incomplete' that other players like that aren't really accounted for. These guys don't feel like they're training to go up against really competent defense or anything. Maybe the author just doesn't think it exists. I don't know.

Backstory: I played soccer for two years in primary school, and the first year I was defense. Our forwards were so competent the ball very rarely came anywhere near us, so I didn't have to be good or anything. It's not like I could do much if it did. So my soccer experience is entirely consistent with Blue Lock, but that doesn't mean I have to like it! Why are these pro athletes on the same level as me at age 10!

Ness is so funny. I want to see his Kaiser stan account's deranged blogging of the entire Blue Lock experience.

I love that Isagi thought so hard he passed out. "Metavision" is so funny.

One, why is Noa's bedroom some sci-fi alien ship. Two, why was Isagi taken THERE when he passed out. Did Ego just like. Not fund an infirmary? Is that where Blue Lock cut costs? I'd buy it.

Noa's just watching his team burn with a completely impassive face. Man he does not give a SHIT, I bet he's loving Kaiser getting assaulted by some random high schooler.

The idea that Ego ever actually played soccer is bonkers to me. Like, it makes perfect sense. But I don't buy it. Seeing that guy in soccer shorts will actually make my brain melt out my ears.

But of course Blue Lock, designed to attract/produce guys that are not even remotely normal about each other, was founded by a guy that is also not normal about another dude. Phenomenal stuff.

Bastard Munchen's sponsors watching Isagi and Kaiser brutalise each other on the field like "yeah we want that all the time actually"

I expected Shidou to rank much higher given his U-20 showing. How is he so much lower than Rin? Does Rin just knock him unconscious before every match?

If I were told I had the same worth as Ness I think I'd kill myself.

LET'S GO BAROUUUUUU

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Fake it till you make it - Charles x fem reader

AN: After all the posts about Charles and A from this weekend, I got this idea. Honestly, I just care about that situation because I'm nosey but don't have any real interest in it, just wanted to write this idea that popped into my head. I have no idea how tennis and sponsorships work, clearly. I lost the first draft which I liked better so I might edit this one if I remember details I missed.

Warnings: Mean social media, a bad word here and there.

Synopsis: Y/n is a talented tennis player, but has a reputation of being a party animal and that scares sponsors away, so if she wants to attend Wimbledon she's going to have to fake a relationship with a recently single golden boy.

____________________________________

"You guys need to stop the bullshit and make this shit work" You always thought of this situation as a stupid game, but seeing Loraine's forehead vein about to burst reminded you that there was a lot on the line.

"But..." Charles was about to say something, from the redness on his face you knew he was as mad as the PR agent scolding you.

"No buts Charles, this is something to help you both, you knew what you were signing in to and you agreed to do this, we have 8 more months and we need this to work, so after today all I'm asking is for you to do what you're requested and stop being childish, agreed?"

You wanted to say no, maybe Charles had agreed to do this damn PR game but you were forced into it and found it stupid and insulting from your team to think that you needed to fake a relationship with some posh "athlete" to improve your image.

"I'm sorry Lor, but this is useless, we have nothing in common, ok? He drives in circles, how am I supposed to show interest in something I don't give two shits about?"

"Well, you're going to have to find a way if you want Puma to sponsor you, they're very concerned about the number of pictures of you partying and fooling around with guys all over the internet"

"They're my friends and I'm 25, they should care about what I do inside the court and not in my free time"

"And I wish I could spend the rest of my days enjoying the sun on a Spanish beach drinking margaritas but we can't all have what we want, can we?"

You were about to speak again when your "boyfriend" stood up swearing under his breath.

"Fine, whatever" he said before slamming the conference room door behind him.

Loraine let herself fall on the chair in front of you holding the bridge of her nose, it had been a long day and she was sick of it.

"Please, y/n, I wish I didn't have to do this either, but if you want to attend Wimbledon next year you're going to have to do this" She had been your pr agent for a little over a year now, and you had become friends, but this situation was idiotic.

"I just don't get it, why we couldn't do it with one of my friends? It would've been easier, at least they care about me, this guy couldn't care less, yesterday when we rode together to the track he said two words to me, "the seatbelt" and then complete silence the whole fucking ride"

"Yeah, well, the day he tried to invite you to train together you rejected him saying you were a real athlete and you didn't need him to get in the way of actual training"

You bit your cheek at the memory, in your defense, you were pretty hungover that morning and couldn't be bothered with this pr shit.

"Please?" Loraine looked at you with pleading eyes.

"Ugh, I'll try but I'm still not ok with this"

"I know, it's just until Wimbledon, you win that and this is all done"

"I don't like you right now" You stood up and walked to Charle's driver's room.

"Why should I be suffering when I'm not the one behaving like a toddler in a sugar rush?" Charles's voice made you stop as you were about to knock on his door.

"They want you to focus on your performance after the breakup"

"And me dating some brat is going to help? We need better strategies and upgrades"

"I know, and that's the team's job, but right now we just need you to focus on driving and try to convince the media that you're happily in love"

"It's going to be easier to win a fucking race in a tractor than look in love with her"

You weren't attracted to him and had no interest in having an actual relationship with the driver but his words felt like a cold punch to your chest, you couldn't be that bad, could you? You didn't want to hear any more of his rant and knocked on his door taking a deep breath trying to pretend you hadn't heard a thing.

"Come in" his dry voice made your skin crawl.

"Hi, can we talk?" His features softened, he feared you had heard him.

"I'll meet you in the garage" Andrea stood up and gave you a smile when he walked past you.

"Please" Charles stood up signaling for you to take a seat on the small sofa he had been sitting on.

"I think there's no way out of this"

"Seems like it" He leaned against the door in front of you.

"Look, I can't promise I won't say mean things, that's kind of my thing, but I will try to be nicer so we can make this work, ok?"

"I know I haven't been the best either and I'm so sorry about my behavior yesterday, I will try to do my best too"

"Sounds like a plan" You tried to give him an honest smile that probably looked more creepy than friendly but you were trying.

From that day on you two kept your word, you started easy and training seemed to be the one thing you had in common. But your gym selfies with Charles "accidentally" in the back didn't seem to convince the media your relationship was real, so you took it up a notch and started having date nights, he took you to his favorite restaurants in Monaco and the different cities during the GP's, and you tried to teach him how to cook, always uploading "candid" pics where your stuff and his were visible in the back this new plan seemed to be working little by little.

It was "date night" at your place and you were sitting on your couch scrolling through TikTok waiting on Charles when another "Charles and Y/n" edit popped up, you would usually scroll past them since you had no interest in what people had to say, if Loraine was happy it meant everything was good, but for some reason you let it play, photos of you and him musicalized with some taylor swift song playing in the back, they were mostly pictures of the beginning of the "relationship", you walking a couple steps away from him, sitting all alone inside the garage or the Ferrari hospitality and some others of you and Charles with a sour face on the way in and out the track, this pictures where surrounded by mean texts, and as if it wasn't enough, you clicked on the comments, they were even worse than the one lines, half of them claiming this was fake, the other half saying how ugly, boring, tacky and unworthy of him you seemed to be and juts a couple of them supporting the relationship.

A knock on the door startled you, you turned to look at the door as a pretty loaded Charles entered the apartment, you had given him a spare key to your place since him having to wait downstairs for you didn't seem very couple-like.

"Hi! Are you ready for the best fake date...what's wrong?" he asked worried when he saw the pained look on your face.

"Um, nothing, hi, you're early" He left the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and walked towards the sofa.

"What happened?" he asked steadily.

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Let me see" he placed his hand in front of you and you immediately understood what he meant.

"Charles..."

"Please" If you had learned something from him this last couple of months was that he was stubborn as fuck and fighting him was pointless, so you ended up unlocking your phone and passing it to him. He looked at the screen and immediately a disgusted look covered his face.

"Why are you watching this?"

"I don't know, I usually don't but... I don't know"

"You know they're just talking out of anger and jealousy, right?"

"Well, you were on their side a couple of months ago, remember?"

"I've apologized about that, I was a dick"

"I know, and I know it's dumb that stupid comments affect me that much, I might be hormonal or something"

"Y/n, look" He threw the phone to the side and squatted in front of you taking your hands in his "This might be a fake relationship but I do care about you, and I don't want you to ever feel bad about what people say online, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work, but you need to promise me that you won't let this kind of people get to you, I won't keep with this if what my fans say hurts you, it's not worth it."

You felt your eyes start watering and you swallowed the knot that had formed in your throat before answering him.

"Ok, I promise" you said in a low whisper.

"Good" He let go of your hands, he stood up pulling you up with him to hug you hard against his chest. "Don't let them hurt you" he said against your hair and then kissed your forehead. "Let's go, we have pasta to make"

He pulled you to the kitchen and started arranging all the ingredients.

"Instagram time" he said as he set his phone against a vase and took a picture of you for his social media.

CharlesLeclerc and Y/Naccount You are the best thing that's ever been mine. #datenight #imagreatchef #pastacrocante

LeclercLover I still don't buy his, worst PR stunt ever

16LoverCha I knew he was a Swifty!!!

CharlesandY/nluv Stop being jealous bitches and let them be happy.

ForzafFerrari I'm sorry but she seems dull and boring, what are you doing with her Baby?

You knew this post would let all hell loose for several hours so you turned off your phones and enjoyed the night together,

"It's getting late and we have an early flight tomorrow" he said taking the last sip of wine from his glass and picking up your empty plates.

"You know you can stay, right?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, plus, I got new sheets for the guest room"

"Ooohh, fancy"

You helped him with the dishes and then went to show him his room, he had never stayed the night, normally he would sneak out of your apartment and you would do the same when you went to his, but after the amazing night you have had, him staying seemed like a good way to finish it off.

"Here, need anything else?" You said leaving a towel on the bed.

"All good"

"Thanks" you hugged him and he hugged you back.

"No problem, don't ever let them make you feel bad"

"I won't" He kissed your head and you went to your room.

The next day you landed in Suzuka and it felt as if you had shifted realities, the fans were being nicer and more respectful, and some of them even brought gifts for you, maybe the plan was finally working.

The remaining months went by easily, and you and Charles developed a nice friendship.

"How do you feel?" Charles asked from the little bench inside your locker room.

"I'm shitting myself" Your statement made him laugh, he had become a big fan of your bluntness.

"You're going to be amazing, I know" he stood up and hugged you.

"Hello, am I interrupting?" Pierre peeked through the door, a white rose in his hand.

"Baby! you made it" You rushed to the door and hugged the French driver.

"Of course love, how could I miss it" He handed you the rose and took your face to kiss your lips softly.

"Hey! She's still my girlfriend!"

"Sorry mate, couldn't help it"

A month or two after the scolding session with Loraine you started hanging out with Charle's friends and he started hanging out with yours, one of those days you met his best friend Pierre, and you hit it off right away, it was crazy how perfect you were for each other. You knew it was going to be madness the moment you broke it off with Charles and announced your relationship with Pierre, but you couldn't care less, by then you would have had win Wimbledon and shown how talented you were, so who cares what the media and the fans thought.

"Y/n, you have one minute" your trainer said from outside the locker room.

"You can do it" Pierre kissed you softly

"Thanks, baby" You kissed his nose and turned to look at Charles

"Go kick some ass" he hugged you and kissed your hair.

"Thanks, boyfriend,. See you on the other side" You took your bag and rushed to the court, ready to be done with all this nonsense.

As always, feedback it's appreciated, and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

[no-psi-nan]

Torisai Genie AU

Somehow, Toritsuka gets his grubby little hands on a real life genie bottle populated by one very grumpy Saiki Kusuo.

Naturally Toritsuka immediately tries to wish for porn, sex, etc, but Saiki straight-up refuses to grant those wishes and threatens to deduct a wish if he asks for used panties one more time.

Finally Toritsuka decides to wish for a lot of money instead, which Saiki hands to him in fat stacks of cash. Except of course, any teenager having fat stacks of cash is extremely suspicious and it's not like you can buy a car with that money without a driver's license. Even if Toritsuka tries to buy a house they'll want to check his cash to make sure it's not all stolen and they'll need lots of legal documents etc, and it's such a hassle that he just doesn't end up able to do much more than buy tons of food and porn. Which is great up until he realizes this is the same shit he was doing before ANYWAYS, except now he has a judgy genie following him around and complaining about it.

Toritsuka briefly flirts with the idea of wishing for power, but fails miserably at coming up with a viable wording for it. He's like "what if you make me prime minister" and Saiki's like "you'd get fired and arrested within the week for your perv habits". He's genuinely stumped for a while as to what to ask for his second wish now that sex stuff and money were both off the table.

Finally Toritsuka realizes that he can wish for a girlfriend. Saiki refuses to coerce anyone into it though, so he has to somehow make Toritsuka genuinely attractive to a woman. He ends up having to train Toritsuka to be a little more of a gentleman, to actually wear clothes that flatter him, to throw that horrid headband in the trash, etc. They go out on fake dates, flirt, hold hands, even cuddle on the couch. During the process, Saiki kinda ends up developing his own crush on Toritsuka, to his enormous mortification.

Well, Saiki's training works and Toritsuka manages to land a girlfriend. She's pretty much everything Toritsuka wanted, down to the high libido, and Saiki is very annoyed about it, but there's nothing he can really do.

Instead, Saiki tries to convince Toritsuka to use his third wish to free him from the genie curse. Toritsuka is actually very easily convinced because a) he genuinely can't even think up a third wish to ask for, b) he's trying to NOT think of Saiki while on his hot dates with his new girlfriend but it's impossible with Saiki or his bottle nearby all the time, and also c) he feels kinda bad for Saiki who has to deal with schmucks like him or get shoved back in a bottle.

So Toritsuka wishes for Saiki to be free... but it turns out that there's a protective clause in the genie curse against that exact situation, so it doesn't work at all. Saiki is devastated but at least Toritsuka is still eligible for a third wish so he doesn't have to go back in the bottle.

Still, Saiki's not sure if it's better or worse than having to deal with watching the two lovebirds all the time. He tests his limits and tries to stay as far away from Toritsuka and his bottle as he can, and asks for Toritsuka to leave the bottle in his room and go to the girl's house instead if they're going to be doing stuff.

Except that Toritsuka is actually not enjoying this girlfriend situation as much as he thought he would. She's very forward and brazen, and Toritsuka is kinda intimidated and nervous and uncomfortable about the whole thing. It's very different to see girls do stuff on-screen or in a mag vs in real life, and he keeps thinking of how how hanging out with Saiki felt so much more natural.

It all comes to a head when the girl's making big moves on him and Toritsuka freaks out, and says out loud, "I wish Saiki was here with me!!"

Saiki gets yanked from where he was to Toritsuka's side, which takes him out of the range of the bottle, which short-circuits the curse because it usually grants the third wish and slams the genie back in the bottle simultaneously. Saiki is freed from the curse, and he stares at Toritsuka in shock and awe.

The girl screams, and they both run hurriedly out of her place, holding hands and laughing in disbelief. And when Saiki sweeps Toritsuka into a hug of gratitude, Toritsuka leans in to kiss his mouth. 💜💓

[systlin]

how does one get a job telling people they can't come into a building? is there something i need to put on my resume (very contrary, good at sitting, etc) to make hiring managers find me more appealing for the role?

So my actual day job is as a security officer; I'm the supervisor for my shift.

Telling people to go away has been an integral career skill for me. Telling angry people who are screaming to leave and not come back is a job skill. The best part of my job is that it is an express part of my job to NOT BE NICE TO RUDE ASSHOLES.

Now, tbh being a contrary asshole won't make you automatically good at the job. You still have to get along with your co workers, the clients at the site you work, ect. And for access control, a good deal of it is perfectly innocuous service providers or deliveries who have all the proper permissions and training and you just make polite small talk with them as you contact their site contact and direct them back to wherever they're going.

When I applied for the job....fuck, was it 8 years ago? No, fuck, 9...when I applied for the job nine years back, the things I put on my application that caught the hiring manager's eyes were

Customer Service skills

Willing to work nights and weekends (we don't get weekends or holidays off; sites are usually manned 24/7/365. Schedules vary, but I work 12 hour shifts and that works out to 3 days on/3 off, 4 days on/4 off. I do often work holidays. Holiday pay is higher.

Multitasking skills

Can keep calm in chaotic situations

Not easily intimidated

Basic computer skills. This last one is huge. You would be amazed how many people I've had to coach step by step through saving a word document during training.

MOST of the time, I am perfectly nice and pleasant. I've received regular commendations and bonuses from the security companies I've worked for because so many people comment on how nice and helpful the security lady was. Most people who show up at sites have a job to do there and want to do it and get paid, same as me.

HOWEVER, despite that at least weekly I deal with an asshole. My shift lets me. My boss jokes that it's like rolling a pumpkin full of ground beef into a lion enclosure. Best part of my job. I once worked retail, and telling asshole dudes to get off company property before I have them removed and/or banned from every other location of the huge multinational company I am stationed at is SO excellent.

Now. The important thing to remember as well about security is that yes, a lot of it is sitting for hours watching cameras or doing rounds through the same place over and over. It can be monotonous and boring.

HOWEVER, then sometimes you get a call like "PLEASE SEND HELP THE ENGINE IS ON FIRE" from a driver getting loaded in the plant. The plant which is filled with explody shit and human lives. This happened last Thursday. That, friend, is where I earn my pay.

I did my job. Sounded alarm, notified fire team, locked down the plant to keep anyone else out, ran accountability to make sure everyone in the plant had checked into shelter areas, all that stuff. Fire was out in 5 minutes. But you have to be able to not panic in that moment when you get that call, because otherwise everything can go to shit VERY fast.

So. Hope this helps!

[tumble-tv]

Ghostbusters brainrot, because I can't stop thinking about it

This is just me talking about all the different units that make up the Ghostbusters business because I have zero self control. Long post, so there's more below the cut.

SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE

There's the motorcycle unit, which is pretty self-explanatory. They're mainly used for small busts or quotes since they can't carry a lot of equipment on them, really just a downsized proton pack and one, maybe two traps depending on the model of the bike.

Then we have the Ecto units, from Ecto-1 to Ecto-3. Ecto-1 is retired due to it's age and how hard it is to repair and update to the times, so there's actually only two Ectomobiles available. All Ectos have top notch technology, but are still 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteors. They are custom made for the Ghostbusters so that they can keep their iconic car model but still be functional in modern times. They have a gunner seat (as much as the mayor hates it), pull out rack for the proton packs (fits up to four packs), proton cannon, folding ramp for the remote trap vehicle, and drone trap. The Ectomobiles can fit one gunner, one driver, one front passenger, and three back passengers. These units are used for pretty much any busts.

After the Ecomobiles, we have the humvees, which are really just Ectomobiles but bigger, scarier, faster, and tougher. They also have a Super Slammer Muon Trap on top, and instead of the gunner seat being on the side, they're on the top like a regular gunner seat on any other humvee. They can fit one driver, one front passenger, one gunner, and two back passengers. They are known as Ghost-1, Ghost-2, and Ghost-3. There is a compartment in the back seat that carries four proton packs.

After the Busters we have the Cleaners, who arrive after the Busters do their thing and clean up after them. Sometimes all they have to do it take samples of whatever the ghost left behind, and other times it's a full on biohazard cleanup. The Slimer would've been a biohazard level cleanup for example, as well as the Pink Slime, but a spot in the middle of your hallway that created a sense of dread and cold would be a sample level cleanup.

Of course we have the receptionists, because without them Ghostbusters would not exist. They mainly take calls and send out crews, but occasionally help out during major events like Gozer the Gozerian, the Pink Slime, and Garraka.

We have the Paranormal Research Center, where, with time, had been expanded into a full facility with different units for different types of research. They also have an actual functioning containment system, with hundreds of containment units. Each has a database of what ghosts are in each unit and their full file and date they were caught. Once a week a researcher heads down to the Ghostbusters headquarters to gather all of the traps that had been filled that week to empty them into their containment system. The only ghost currently held under headquarters is Garraka, as it's too dangerous to move that one. The basement is fully off limits without authorization due to its containment. The Paranormal Research Center also has their own emergency units available in case of a major event. This is also where the majority of training for new Ghostbusters is done.

There is an entire wall dedicated to their standard gear (flight suits, boots, gloves) in the truck bay. This wall is almost exactly what the turnout gear racks look like for firefighters. Each Ghostbuster has their own little cubby to hold their gear, as well as a shelf above to hold any extras they may need. This cubby also contains a specialized jacket for cold weather (the red jackets that are seen in Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire and are worn by Lucky and Lars) and a helmet (Pacific Helmets WR5, for example). We've seen the Ghostbusters get thrown around enough to have a concussion at least once, and Janine probably had them ordered after the second time the boys came back from a call with welts on the backs of their heads.

After years of being in that falling apart firehouse, they finally have it renovated to fit their needs (and definitely splurging on the fun stuff). Think a glorified firehouse. There's a bar (in Venkman's name), recreation room, kitchen, gym, ready room, and bunk room. An entire floor is dedicated to offices and conference rooms, although those conference rooms are usually used for Super Smash Bros tournaments and gaming because they have large TVs that are awesome for multiplayer games. The containment unit used for Garraka is never touched, and the floor it resides on is off limits without authorization, as stated above. Of course it was renovated in a way, but the unit itself is never touched.

This will definitely be reblogged with more as I come up with it, and feel free to add on!

[justplainwhump]

Hope

A little follow up to Noor's last scene, before I move on.

Noor learns new truths.

Content: BBU, very early recovery, conditioned whumpee offering sex to caretaker (turned down)

The woman who'd guided him into the red car with him was still there. Rather tall, about Noor's own height, slim build but notable muscles around shoulders and arms. There was a slightly dangerous air around her, even when she smiled. It made him nervous.

She'd talked to the driver, quietly, quickly, in a language he didn't understand, and all he knew is that she was angry, and quite a bit worried.

She had fallen quiet now, looked back at him from the passenger seat, dark honey eyes taking him in.

"I can," he assured her softly, without her having asked for it. There was only one thing anyone wanted of him, anyway. "I am specifically trained to please men, but my skills are surely sufficient to give you a good time, too. Maybe together with your partner?" Noor tilted his head toward the driver, a bulky man with a constant frown on an otherwise soft face. The type Noor liked most. He could almost feel these arms around him, this mouth hot on his skin. "I'm sure I can help him unwind." His voice had dropped to a seductive whisper, just the way he'd been taught. Just the way that always worked.

Not now.

The man glanced into the rear view mirror. Deep, dark eyes. Noor bit his lip and smiled. "It wouldn't make me unwind," the man said plainly. His voice resonated deep within Noor's body. "It would make me very uncomfortable."

Noor let out a small laugh, soft and airy, the way that could hide the deep confusion underneath. He'd never been turned down by another man. And now, the second time within one night. The handler in the house hadn't had enough time, Noor could understand that, even though a quick fuck like that could've been over in less than five minutes. This man here, though, could have all the time in the world with Noor.

Maybe he was straight? But many of his clients were, or claimed to be, and they still fucked him all the same. "I can be whatever you want. I can make your wildest dreams come true."

Noor eased himself back in the seat and ran a hand through his long hair, brushing it over his shoulder, as he searched for the other man's gaze in the mirror, eyes slightly veiled behind his long lashes.

It didn't work. The man just focused back on the street. "We can't take him to the safe house yet," he said to the woman. "They're at their limit already with the rescues from the last job. I don't think they can handle this one. He'll be a problem around men."

"Men don't have any problems with me," Noor purred and pushed up his body on the back seat, desperately wishing for another body to settle down close to his. "On the contrary. I make them forget any of their problems."

They wouldn't throw him out, surely, he hoped. He wouldn't need to be alone and on the run tonight. He couldn't.

"You're right. I'll take him," the woman said flatly.

Noor covered his sudden disappointment with a renewed smile. It didn't sound nice. It didn't sound like she wanted him at all. But he needed to be wanted. He was made to be wanted. All the clients, at WRU, and at the shady walking house downtown, they had wanted him. He lived, he'd survived, because he'd been wanted.

He stared at the car door next to him. The nightly city was rushing past in streaks of light in front of darkness. He thought about his chances. He'd get hurt, rolling himself out. They'd find him again. If not them - why should they, if neither of them wanted him? - then the handlers from the raid. This time, he might not be able to run. But it was his only chance. To find someone who actually wanted-

"Hey." A hand rested on his forearm. The woman had turned on her seat entirely to face him. Her hand was warm. "I'm Marta," she said. "What can I call you?"

Her touch made him shiver. Her skin was warm, a little sweaty maybe, in the damp heat of the summer night. Noor didn't mind.

"Noor," he said softly. "It means light."

Marta smiled. "Okay, Noor. You don't need to be afraid."

He wasn't, he thought. There was only one thing he feared, and that was white and monotonous and cold.

She looked at the door handle knowingly. "Or whatever the feeling is that makes you leave. You're allowed to leave, Noor. You can just tell us, and we'll drop you anywhere. We don't want to own you."

He blinked once, before he laughed again, in the inviting way that he was so good at, hoping to find an unsuspicious reply. He couldn't. It didn't make sense. He didn't want to be owned, but neither did he want not to told what to do. He didn't want to stay with them, if they didn't want him, but he didn't want to be alone, either. There was no place he could go. No place he'd even understand.

"You can come with me, I'll set you up with a bed, and I'll buy you a pizza. And we'll talk about finding a place for you."

Was he so easy to read? Noor had always prided himself for his skills at understanding what his clients desired. But he'd never thought someone would even bother trying to understand what was going on inside of him.

A place for you.

A place for Noor, for himself.

The words made him feel warm.

"But you don't want me," he whispered.

"I don't want you," Marta repeated slowly. "As in, I don't want your body, or your service. But I want something for you."

"What?"

"A life," she said.

This time, Noor didn't laugh.

He just fell silent, when she sat back in her seat and faced forward, and the man steered through the dark side alleys of a nice neighbourhood Noor had never seen.

Both of them said nothing. And in return, Noor. didn't touch the door again.

He spun the words in his head.

A life. A place for you.

It made no sense.

But in the most beautiful way.

"I'd like that," he whispered eventually, so quiet the people wouldn't hear him over the noises of the car.

It didn't matter. He'd said it to himself, anyways. And to his surprise, it felt like the truth.

-

---

pet safety tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @gottawhump @flowersarefreetherapy @whumplr-reader @highwaywhump @tauntedoctopuses @pigeonwhumps @whumppsychology @labgrowndemon @whumpinggrounds @somewhumpyguy @whumpzone @tragedyinblue

[onboardsorasora]

Not sure if I like it, but this not about me😅 so here we are Tennis AU;

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5

Part 4!

Daniel collapsed onto his back, star fishing on the court in the shade. His white shorts rode up to show off his pulsing sweaty thighs. His leg hairs were pressed down and slick. His tattoos glistened.

He'd been running drills for too long, if you asked Micheal (don't), he'd say it wasn't long enough. They'd been at it all day, running through their program steadily.

His phone went off in his duffle.

"Is that the power rangers theme?" Micheal paused and raised a brow.

"Kim Possible actually, rude." Daniel pointed his racquet limply in Michael's general direction.

"They're the same tone." Blake called out, chin tucked to his chest, typing away on his phone in the shade. "Doesn't explain why you've gone back to it though."

"It's Max's tone." Daniel was grinning, all teeth. "When my phone's like off silent anyway."

"We allow you on one extracurricular and you come back with a boyfriend." Michael teased throwing a tennis ball at him.

"hey!" Daniel cried out and shifted his hips, turning onto his side to avoid it. Micheal threw another and Daniel lifted the racquet to lob it away with a cheer.

The phone went off again and Daniel scrambled up to get it but was blocked by a new barrage from Michael. He ran off laughingly in the opposite direction to 'safety'.

"Nope." Micheal popped the p with his lips, a cheeky grin present. "We're not done yet, you can check your sexts after."

Daniel whined, pouting his lips and batting his eyes at his trainer.

"Save the pretty eyes for Max, now on mark let's go asshole."

"you can send him a pic of your legs after." Blake looked up quickly with a smirk before going back to his phone.

Daniel grumbled but prepared himself for work anyway. The quicker he got through this, the quicker he could see what Max sent him.

They'd been texting since the night of the beach party. They had spent the rest of the afternoon together, chatting away at a table mostly in their own world.

Max had introduced him to a few people on his team and a couple other drivers who had passed through. It was a great time getting to know Max the man outside of the paddock and around people he felt comfortable with. He was very funny, he made Daniel laugh breathlessly the whole afternoon. They bantered relentlessly, creating and extending jokes about everything.

That was two days ago, Max had escorted him back to the flat he and his team were renting and they exchanged numbers. Daniel kissed him at the door and ducked into the apartment quickly to hide his blush. Not the suavest move, but Max made his brain stop working.

Since then, they've been texting when Daniel wasn't getting his ass kicked by his best friend slash trainer. Max appreciated his training camp and he tried to avoid texting during the day knowing Daniel was busy and needed to focus.

They had dinner plans tonight, so realistically the texts could have been confirming their date or rain checking.

That thought stopped him suddenly and he missed an easy volley.

"Focus DR!" Micheal called, calmly sending over another ball. Daniel shook his head physically to dislodge the thought. He'd think of it all after.

They went on until he was gasping for breath, only stopping after Daniel declared a strike, demanded a union and then plopped himself bodily beside Blake who grimaced. He barely dodged the impending wet hug.

Daniel grasped for his phone, swiping away all the calendar notifications and social media messages to find the one he wanted. He was single minded, completely ignoring the freeze pop electrolyte drink that Michael chucked at him. It bounced off of his sweaty face.

He opened the text thread from Max;

Max V 🥵

Are we still on for 8?

Oops, sorry. Tell Michael not to be mean.

"Max says not to be mean to me Mikey, he's a world champ, you should listen to him." Daniel called out, grinning in delight. Micheal snorted a laugh. Daniel texted back

8 is still good for me. Mike's being evil as always. I swear he gets off on suffering😢

Daniel tore open the freeze pop with his teeth and sucked greedily at the cold drink. His phone went off again in his hands.

Max V 🥵

Poor thing. I'll have to take care of you then, I'll pick you up at 7:30.

Daniel tried to ignore the flutter in his chest at the thought of Max taking care of him.

Gonna show me a good time? 👀

Max V 🥵

Do you want to sleep over?

Daniel barely managed to keep from choking, the empty freeze pop plastic feel out of his mouth. He looked around swiftly and shifted in his seat, suddenly full of energy. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest now, a thrumming in his veins that wasn't there before.

He tilted his phone away from Blake's potential gaze, completely regretting sitting so close now. He bit his lip, unable to pinch his grin.

I'd love to.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x9, A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving, Part III--"Lorelai Mourns Her Breakup WIth Dean--WTF Is Wrong With This Bish, No Seriously, Someone Needs To Study Her in A Lab Or Something" OR "Doofus In A Green Apron And the Woman Who Loved Him" Or "Supermarket Seduction: The Lorelai Gilmore Affair"

I'm kinda obsessed with playing Brand Name I Spy whenever someone visits Doose's. It's kinda fun to play Stars Hollow Anthropologist and figure out how these curious creatures live, what products they subsist on. In this scene I spotted (deep breath) Whiskas Cat Food, Ring Pops,Alpo and Pedigree Dog Food, Barilla Pasta Sauce, Princella Canned Sweet Potatoes, A1 Steak Sauce, Carnation Canned Milk, Sunkist Orange Soda, Dole bananas, Planters cashews ,Lindt chocolate, Dentyne Ice Gum, Uncle Ben's Rice, some kind of Ragu instant meal, Ocean Spray pie filling, Symphony chocolate bars, Vaseline and a variety of lotions (for which Jess is grateful), Band Aids, Stove Top Stuffing, Campbell's Soup, Gatorade, Mylanta, Pepcid, Ponds cream, Advil (both regular and a fruit flavored Children's variety), SO MUCH TYLENOL, Snuggle Detergent, Bounce Fabric Softener, Q Tips, Bactine, Neosporin, Quilted Northern wet wipes, Chapstick, 2 ginormous boxes of Kraft Instant Mac & Cheese, a WHOLE LOT of First Response pregnancy tests and ovulation kits (every one of these brands is still in existence 22 years later, btw) Aaaand last but not least: Kirk, A grown ass woman with a sick obsession over her daughter's teenage ex boyfriend, and a doofwad wearing a green apron.

The way those pregnancy tests are so fucking prominent in the background is sending me into orbit. Who is even getting laid in The Hollow besides Babette/Morey and Miss Patty, and they're past menopause. Things Doose's Market does not sell: Condoms Things Doose's Market does sell: Cigarettes (there's a "We Card" placard on the register)

The WB network was truly the place to be for product placement in the early 2000s.

SHE'S GOIN IN FOR THE KILL! da dum da dum da dum dadumdumdumdumdum

The two of them making eye contact across the market. PLEASE!

Dean: OH SHIT. SHE'S HERE. GO LIMP, FORRESTER.

The way she looks at him! I ship them so hard! I also ship Dean's face with the business end of a speeding train!

What kind of slave driver is Taylor Doose for making Dean work on Thanksgiving? Please make him work every holiday, Taylor. His family won't miss him. (I know that here in the US quite a lot of supermarkets stay open on Thanksgiving, at least for a half day anyway, but like, why isn't Taylor working? He's probably taking a Thanksgiving holiday in Hawaii with the money he's embezzled from all the town fundraisers. Broken bridge my ass). Dean says he's getting paid time and a half for working the holiday, so I will not be calling the Connecticut Board of Labor on Taylor. Luke, meanwhile,continues to pay his nephew in acorns. For what the DALA is worth, it really leans creepily one sided. Lorelai's always coming onto Dean with Dean looking bewildered with the milf seduction. Well, maybe not in this scene from season 4, he was pretty into it by then.

Puke.

Lorelai: I'll give you time and half. in my bed.

L: Dean, Wait... D, slowly turning around clutching packs of Dentyne gum: Yeah? L: I...LOVE YOU. Nah just kidding. We know it actually gets a helluva lot weirder than that.

The look on Doofwad's face says even he knows you're full on delulu. She makes a speech to Dean about how when you live in a small town you shouldn't shit where you eat, metaphorically speaking. I mean, after all the times she's had to scramble to find alternate dining establishments because she had a spat with Luke, she should know. Lorelai wants Dean to know that she's done hiding from him. Uhh...

Dean just got the memo that he was avoiding Lorelai.

For as long as I live I will never let you live this line down, Lorelai Gilmore. Salty Gilmore's Gravestone will read: Here Lies SaltyGilmores March 24th, 2022-???? She Recalled That In The Thanksgiving Episode Lorelai Gilmore Told Dean Forrester That They Weren't Broken Up Yet

Dean: Okay, whatever you say, DeLuLu Lady.

Get yourself a partner who looks at you the way Lorelai Gilmore looks at the local teenage bagboy.

That was pretty intense, Deano. Take a deep breath, it'll be okay. Just head over to the lotion aisle and then make yourself comfy in the break room. Lorelai exits the market to meet Rory, seemingly drained, and shaken by the events that just transpired. When Rory (who is now avoiding entering Doose's Market herself in this neverending game of Business Boycott Roulette) asks how it went, Lorelai can barely speak, as if moments ago she had just done all the heavy lifting for her own relationship and not Rory's. Truly twisted stuff, I'm telling ya. (by the way thank you to @ernestonlysayslovelythings (AGAIN) for pointing out that Jess' green coat makes at least one more appearance. I'll have to postpone the Coat Funeral/Ritual Burning To Ward It Of Evil Spirits)

[tobiasdrake]

As much as I loved DBS: Super Hero, it did also serve as a reminder for why modern Dragon Ball gives Gohan so little to do.

What it boils down to is that Dragon Ball writers seem to have difficulty finding new ways for Gohan to develop or evolve as a fighter. This is because Gohan himself isn't interested in developing or evolving as a fighter.

By contrast to the proactive Goku, Gohan is a reactive character. He doesn't want to be a big martial arts super-warrior. He has no ambition to become Next-Gen Son Goku. That doesn't mean he won't Do The Things. He's been Doing The Things since he was four. But he needs to have a reason. Something he's doing it for.

"To be stronger/better, to push myself, to become more than I am now," is Goku's driving motive. Goku is a martial artist driven to surpass his own limits, and this drives him to keep finding new mountains to climb.

Gohan's driving motive is, "To protect my family from that asshole." He needs a reason. Self-improvement for its own sake (or, as some have offered, "to be strong enough to deal with the next guy") isn't his passion. Plus, he's already one of the strongest people in the entire universe. How much stronger should he reasonably need to be?

There are all kinds of stories you can tell with a reactive character like Gohan. He's basically a superhero archetype. Spider-Man doesn't constantly train to make himself a better fighter with every waking moment. He doesn't need to; His genre isn't one of progressive escalation.

The problem is, Dragon Ball is dedicated to progressive escalation, arguably to its detriment as Modern Dragon Ball is well past the point where escalation no longer holds any weight. The powers of the characters are so abstract by this point that they have to be defined solely in relation to each other. "Bob is STRONGER than Alex." "Yeah, well now we're fighting John, who's way stronger than Bob and Alex combined." "Yeah well Mark is 100x stronger than John!" "Frank could flex Mark into oblivion with his pinky finger."

This isn't a problem for Gohan, so much as it is a problem for the mindset people have when writing for Dragon Ball. Whether it's Toei or Toyotaro or even Toriyama himself, nobody ever knows what to do with Gohan.

Even when Gohan's in the driver's seat, he's being written by writers who don't know how to write the kinds of stories that Gohan, as a protagonist, is suited for. So they always wind up going back and rehashing things from the well of past Gohan things.

Goku gets to move forward and do new things, but Gohan is trapped in an endless cycle of doing the same three things and nothing else.

1 - Piccolo's sacrifice. Piccolo throwing himself in front of an attack for Gohan or maybe Gohan throws himself in front of an attack for Piccolo if we're being spicy today. REMEMBER THAT TIME. DO YOU REMEMBER? 2 - Gohan gets a rage boost or turns Super Saiyan 2, and then things get real. Everyone loved his Super Saiyan 2 transformation. They loved it so much they're still finding excuses to have him turn Super Saiyan 2 for the very first time again. 3 - Gohan has the power within him to win but he can't unleash it so Goku appears out of nowhere to save him and give him a pep talk, and then he gains confidence in himself and becomes strong enough to win.

To my knowledge, I don't think #3 has appeared in DBS as of yet but it was all over post-Cell Games. After everyone went nuts for Father-Son Kamehameha, we had "Goku gives Gohan a pep talk so he can win" as the resolution for both Broly: Second Coming and Bojack. Then in the actual manga, Goku made the save on Gohan during the Super Buu fight and then got sick of having to do this and fired him from protag slot entirely, which is worse.

Most of Super Hero was a lot of fun. But that final fight turning into "Let's literally bring Cell back so that we can do 'Gohan turns Super Saiyan 2 and defeat Cell' again but it's actually Cell again for maximum uncreativity"? I see you, writers. I see your total lack of ideas for this character.

[dollsonmain]

That Guy helped clean for one day but then went back to refusing to do anything but play video games.

There's still guest-cleaning to do, and I'll have to knock it out before work. I think vacuuming the downstairs should be good enough, though I haven't checked Son's bathroom which is also the guest bathroom, yet, and it probably needs more work.

I also forgot to do the guest room sheets yesterday, I was so worn out. They're in the wash, now.

Then I have gas station work today.

That Guy said the outfit I picked out for the interview and hair and makeup looked good; both appropriate and on me. I don't know why that one website said the dress code was business formal, black, white, grey. Other than the security and police on site who were in full uniforms, everyone else was wandering around in jeans or slacks and polos or simple blouses. Everyone contracted from Goodwill gets a special overshirt they have to wear around, too. That kind of sucks, actually. It looks bad.

I am still VERY unhappy with how the hair spray dried out my hair. I'll have to not wash it for a couple days, let the natural oils reasaturate the strands, and hope that'll be good enough to make it happy again. If not I'll have to try a masque or something. I can't tolerate the texture of my hair being Wrong.

Mail room blather:

I am a little disappointed that it's not an actual mail room, like when I was in the army I would go get the mail, bring it back to the battalion, process any paperwork like package slips, sort the mail into mail boxes, etc.

That's what I was excited about when I saw the job posting. This job is not that.

She said she's looking for both a backup truck driver which I said I'm willing to try but can't guarantee I can drive the big truck (I did not mention the whole auto-accident related PTSD thing...), and a backup manager which of course that wouldn't be expected until I'd been there for a while and was very familiar and comfortable with the processes involved.

So they will go get mail and bring it back, but then the job is to do safety checks like I said, which was a part of it when I was in the army (there was an anthrax scare at the time and we had to take extra precautions etc. so at least I did already get that training), and to open packages and inspect the contents. I guess from there cleared mail gets passed off to someone else to be distributed or maybe representatives from the various departments come to get it or something. I would learn that later. Part of the job is making sure threatening letters don't make it to their intended targets.

She also said there is a LOT of downtime. So much downtime. Some people quit because they get so bored they can't take it. I can bring in a tablet or my phone and watch movies there's that much downtime. I'm not sure if I can be online and bothering you all, though, and am not permitted to take photos/videos in the mail room.

I can take projects, though, so it would be a good time to work on rehairs and the like.

It's kind of funny that I'd be going from being sedentary with no income to being over-worked at the gas station for very few dollars, to being sedentary again just not at home for ok dollars. $30k isn't a lot, here. The cost of living here is surprisingly high vs the population because we're close to DC. But it is a lot for doing not much, you know?

[seth-burroughs]

Anyway... headcanon post: Yomi is cognitively impaired. Sources? the depths of my twisted mind ;3

Sometimes has quote unquote good days where his symptoms don't get as severe (or he/others don't think they do), sometimes he gets worse, it varies on the phase on the moon, the earth's axis and the horoscope. (according to Guillaume, it's all because he's a libra) (he attempts to squash her like a bug every time but she's just too fast man.....)

Slow reaction times (although it gets weird sometimes). Sometimes it's delayed by just a second or a few, sometimes for way more which causes problems ranging from mild annoyance to literally almost dying via honda tire. An example of this is when he might walk to a crosswalk, forgets that he actually needs to check if any cars are coming, walks onto traffic, oh look a car. He notices a car car coming, stops, knows he should move out of the way in that scenario, but it just doesn't occur to him to do that, and he just stands there staring almost completely frozen, deer-style, until finally either, A.) he realizes "oh shit I'm about to get ran over so that's what's happening maybe" and fucking bolts to the side at literal last minute, or B.) the driver stops for him and is about to leave the car and scream at him about it, before noticing that's the director and almost shitting themselves from raw fear then profusely apologizing. You know those crosswalks at Kanai Ward, that detect pedestrians and stop oncoming traffic for them? While they were mostly created for the citizens, an also big reason why they were able to exist is because the Yomi Squad funded it so well in order to stop him from killing himself one day. The bicycle paths are still a problem though and have claimed many of his bones to this day

Knows the city pretty well (allegedly), and is able to get around via yomi autopilot. He just walks with zero (or extremely irrelevant) thoughts in his head, not paying attention to almost anything, just getting guided by habit/reflex/walking on the same path so often he just memorizes when to turn or enter while not even having to look where he's going, you get me right? He'll probably be fine. As long as he doesn't snap out of it and regain consciousness. In that case he's reminded he exists, looks around, thinks "where the fuck am I", remembers what he's supposed to do after a moment, but then forgets how he even gets there in the first place and is effectively lost. So what he does is to recount every single detail, instruction and direction in which path he usually takes to get him to a point where he is currently (which might. take a While), and then he finally remembers where he is and can carry on as usual. Do NOT disturb him in this state or he will completely lose his train of thought and get incredibly pissed he has to do it all over and violently take it out on you or perhaps even everyone around too.

^How he deals with the above things is that he simply very, very rarely travels without somebody else, which either Martina or F-Zilch (not counting occassional Cop Entourage as that's a bit different). If they aren't available, he either picks some other (preferably quiet, the chatty types are always the most insufferable) employee of his, or just goes alone or refuses to leave his house at all that day.

Sometimes when someone is speaking to him he can feel that he's not gonna register any word of what they're gonna say and just loses focus. No, he won't ask them to repeat themselves, that's for pussies like Seth, if he didn't hear whatever it is they wanted to tell him then maybe it just isn't that important. Maybe.

Takes an awful long time to shower, as soon as his skin makes contact with water he ceases awareness of existing and he has to wait until he remembers he's alive until he keeps going. (though that isn't the sole reason as to why he cannot do it faster. but it's a part in it)

Tries to make an effort to keep track of important events via lists, reminder notes and planners, or frequently ends up asking his vice director Martina about certain things that happened beforehand (if they did at all) or are about to happen, since he's for sure not gonna remember that himself. Usually, at least. Sometimes he does have his memory down to every detail but only concerning certain things his shit brain cares about more, such as "during that exact time that evening Seth blinked at you rather disrespectfully" or "here's that masked freak's speech to you that morning, perfectly recalled, down to the last detail, for you to dissect and get mad about for the remainder of the week"

All of these annoy, stress out and infuriate him greatly

[nobleelfwarrior]

Hot Take

But I don't think most pet owners should be.

And this is going to be about dogs because I've been delivering pizza and it's really obvious but I might go off about other animals later too.

If you own a dog and you want something to be delivered to your house, that dog needs to be trained not ram the person at the door at top speeds. How many people do I hear yelling at their dogs in what sounds like a genuinely angry/mean way because the dog won't stop barking. Then add in how many people have to physically block their dog from the door and there is almost no one left.

I've been jumped at by small dogs and big dogs. I'm delivering pizza and I've actually had a long journey of being ok with dogs because I didn't grow up with them, so their manerisms aren't intuitive to me. If this was happening even a few years ago, I would be much less ok. Not to mention allergies.

And just because your dog is nice, doesn't mean everyone else should just take your word for it. You see it a lot on dog training subreddits, but even if your dog is chill, other people might have reactive dogs, scared children, etc. Your dog can be friendly and still be dangerous.

My coworker has been gnawed at by very small "ankle-bitter" dogs, this time literally. And just because your dog is small, doesn't make things ok. If your dog decides to pick a fight, your dog will loose and maybe die.

What I'm saying is all dogs need to be kennel trained. Don't abuse them, but they need to be trained to leave the door when they hear the door bell or a knock because you are endangering your delivery guy who you didn't even tip very well. This is especially true if you're one of those people who goes "Don't ring the bell or knock because the dog will bark and then the baby will wake up." Maybe train your dog not to bark.

People seem to think that because dogs are common, they're easy and that is just not true. Dogs, because of their size and personality, need to be very carefully trained. Good news, they are trainable.

I think we need to be meaner to dog owners. they think that because they are almost default that they can get away with being bad owners and don't even realize how shitty they are becuase, again, it's normalized. If you are a bad dog owner, don't worry. You can get better! You can teach an old dog new tricks and you need to tip your delivery drivers better to make up for the old tricks.