#like if it’s for me I am nitpicking everything and chewing it over

[rallamajoop]

Dracula, The Witcher, and the Peter Cushing connection

So, no, I haven't had much new Witcher stuff posted in a while. Still got fics in the works there (the next bit of the Discworld crossover is coming along quite well), but I've been a mite distracted.

That little Dracula kick I was on a few months back evolved into an extended mission to watch all the Dracula adaptations – well, at least most of the major film versions (Nosferatu, the 1932 with Bela Lugosi, the 1958 with Christopher Lee, the 1979 with the hair, the insane 1992 Coppola one, the 2002 Guy Maddin silent-film ballet version with the hot Chinese Dracula...) And though I can't usually watch adaptations of anything I loved without compulsively nitpicking, I've been kind of loving all of them – but that's a subject for another post.

Hammer’s 1958 Dracula, starring Christopher Lee, isn’t necessarily the most iconic version, or even really my personal favourite – but it is where I got a little stuck. It’s the version that costars Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, being the same Cushing you may have seen cited as the visual inspiration for Blood and Wine's take on Regis – y’know, that Witcher-vampire I have been ever-so-slightly obsessed with for the past year or so. Up to this point, I knew Cushing mostly as that guy who played Grand Moff Tarkin in the first Star Wars film – but once it’s been pointed out to you, it’s pretty hard to miss.

We may as well note the irony of CDPR having modeled their vampire after an iconic vampire hunter. Actually, those sideburns aren't even Van Helsing's – these hail from Cushing's time starring as Victor Frankenstein in Hammer's other big-name high-gothic film franchise, which involves no vampires whatsoever.* Still, I suppose Baron-Dr-Cushinstein does spend a lot of time covered in blood and/or hanging around alchemical paraphernalia, which doesn't hurt for relevant visuals where Regis is concerned.

Whichever performance they may be referencing, CDPR’s design for Regis is a charming nod to classic horror cinema, and Cushing's skinny, mild-mannered, pleasantly-authoritative Van Helsing makes a more fitting choice for Regis than any of Hammer's actual vampires. You’d be hard-pressed to find any much better fantasy fancast for Regis than Cushing in his prime.

Now, primed as I obviously was to fall headfirst into what amounts to original-alternate-Regis fandom, the truth is I came out of Hammer's first Dracula film going, "well, that was pretty good – maybe I'll get around to the sequels at some point." But the series’ next entry didn’t do a lot for me (Brides of Dracula, which I am disappointed to say contains neither a) Dracula, nor b) any actual brides thereof), and Van Helsing isn’t even in the next four.

Not until Dracula A.D. 1972 does the series reunite both the original stars, Peter Cushing's Van Helsing (now playing his own grandson) and Christopher Lee's Dracula, and most critics seem to feel the series was long past its prime by this stage. But putting all expectations aside, in watching it, I discovered several things:

Van Helsing II having to calmly, authoritatively explain to a skeptical 70's cop that they’ve got a vampire problem on their hands and somehow pulling it off is EVERYTHING I never knew how much I wanted from this series.

If this film is garbage, it is emphatically MY KIND of garbage. I loved that Van Helsing vs. Dracula is now some kind of epic, generation-spanning rivalry; that Van Helsing II gets some real stakes via his (surprisingly likeable) granddaughter; I loved Johnny Alucard the beta-villain chewing all the scenery, why do people not like this movie?

Despite having aged about 14 years in real time (and perhaps several more internally**), Peter Cushing only gets better with age

I have officially fallen head over heels for this man's face ridiculous cheek bones everything

People, I do not do the whole celebrity-crush thing. Let alone over long-deceased actors from my grandparents' generation. But it quickly became Very Important that I watch pretty much everything Peter Cushing had ever been in. And Cushing (as I may have mentioned in a footnote around here somewhere) is an actor who kept busy.

If I had to summarise what made the Hammer Horror formula work, I think I’d have to go with “enjoyably trashy, but with a touch of class,” – and delving into through Cushing’s back-catalog is like making a laundry list of exactly that class of low-mid-budget 60′s-70′s British horror. Actors like Cushing and Lee lent a similar quality to those films that that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen brought to the X-Men franchise: a bit of gravitas and a lot of style. Whether playing the hero or the villain, Cushing’s old-fashioned air of authority could carry off an awful lot.

In addition to Van Helsing, Dr. Frankenstein and Moff Tarkin, he also played Sherlock Holmes, an actual vampire, (sort of) Dr. Who, and even Mr Darcy (in a 1950′s TV adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that, to my great disappointment has long since been lost). Unavoidably, there are some films not even he and Lee combined could hope to save, but Cushing single-handedly makes a lot of otherwise-middling films worth watching. It’s a crying shame some of this stuff isn’t better known and remembered today. It’s as hard not to wonder that an actor of this calibre didn’t get to do more higher-brow work, but then again, to quote the man himself, Who wants to see me as Hamlet? Very few. But millions want to see me as Frankenstein so that's the one I do.

My Internet history tells me I first watched Dracula A.D. 1972 way back in May. Honestly, I was kind of expecting to be over it by now, and yet here I am.

Anyway, if you do share my taste in Witcher-vampires, may I also highly recommend Hammer’s Frankenstein series, their Carmilla adaptation, The Vampire Lovers, and 1959′s The Flesh and the Fiends (which is not a Hammer production, but still very much in that vein). Dark Corners’ youtube episodes on the Hammer Dracula and Frankenstein series are great introduction to both (even if I do feel they’re awfully unfair to what is now my favourite Dracula film).

Or if you’re reading this as a Peter Cushing fan, well, I can’t honestly pretend the main Witcher video game series will necessarily interest you – but there is this one relatively-standalone expansion pack called Blood and Wine that just might be worth your time...

* (back) Though to see Cushing at peak sideburns (pictured in the first comparison above), you’ll want 1959's The Flesh and the Fiends (which isn't technically a Hammer production at all, even though Cushing is basically still playing Frankenstein by way of Doctor Knox).

** (back) The story goes that Cushing spent the 70′s doing film after film because he’d recently lost his wife, and was desperately trying to bury his grief in work. Which only makes the number of grieving fathers and/or widowers he plays in his later years that much more ouch to see in effect.

[beevean]

Thoughts on the weirdest, most balls to the wall Castlevania game? :P

this is a serious game about revenge

Curse of Darkness is a marked improvement on almost everything in Lament of Innocence, but still not quite enough.

The plot is simple at first: three years after C3 (I love when games have connections to each other like this), in an Europe ravaged by Dracula’s curse, Hector is on a quest to avenge the death of his girlfriend (of course): he used to be a general of Dracula’s army, having the important role of Devil Forgemaster, but he grew tired of the senseless death and turned his back on the Lord: as revenge, his former friend Isaac accused his girlfriend of being a witch. There's more revealed in the tie-in comic, but it's not strictly necessary. This is a good premise for me. I like both Hector and Isaac: Hector for being a former villain and his aggressive demeanor, and Isaac because... well, look at him <3 also Trevor is thrown into the mix, because we need a Belmont in our Castlevania. (no Sypha or Grant, surprisingly. Alucard was napping so he’s justified, I guess, but really, Trevor’s OP wife decided to stay home?)

The rest of the plot is more.. random? There’s a woman who looks like the spitting image of Rosaly and she’s a witch and she’s also Isaac’s sister and of course she gets together with Hector at the end, there’s a honest-to-goodness time lord involved which at the end of the day does nothing except give you a boss battle, then a priest was Death all along (and, really? Zead, Death?)...

Also, while the dubbing is okay, with special shout out to Crispin Freeman and Lian O'Brien chewing the scene as Hector and Isaac (Julia OTOH sounds like she's reading the lines for the first time), the translation is pretty ridiculous, full of "t'is" and trying too hard to sound old-fashioned. But it's charming :P

Also also, I will never let go of the scene where the highly flamboyant Isaac impales Trevor from behind, very very close to him, and kisses his hair as the poor guy is grunting in pain (bur surprisingly lucid). I cannot make this up. What kind of game am I playing.

(sadly this scene marks the end of Trevor being present or even mentioned in the game. It’s like they wanted to get him out of the way... and that’s how they chose to do that. okay)

Onto the gameplay!

There have been many improvements. While you can't rotate the camera, it rotates with you and you can adjust it with L1, and that’s really nice. Warp rooms are finally back, and smartly placed too, but you can also use warp tickets if necessary. There’s more incentive in fighting enemies because you level up, and Hector himself moves in a snappier way than Leon (although he seems to slide all over the place). Enemies display a level, which tells you how easily you can beat them. There are even some small but appreciated improvements, like smoother transitions between doors, and a pointer that appears when you’re near a save room or a warp room, in case you don’t recognize the door.

They didn’t fix how slow you move, though, and this time it feels even worse because corridors are much longer and much emptier. The jump is also even stiffer than in LoI, reminding me of Amy’s in Sonic ‘06: its only purpose is to go higher, to attack airborne enemies or more rarely to climb on ledges. Not that you need it much, but I was hoping for a form of faster movement...

Some other nitpickings because I can: I’m also not a big fan of the automatic lock on as soon as you guard. No weapon in the game justifies a lock on feature, and it’s just disorienting. Hitting enemies in the air is a little awkward, because the depth perception is still a problem. Also, they nerfed the dodge mechanic, and you need much stricter timing to be invincible lol.

You can find material to fuse with your weapons, which is similar to DoS but far, far easier. The weapons are all useful, with different properties: personally, while swords are by far the best weapons, I even had a kick using the knuckles, which are so fast that they compensate for their lower strength. There are so many weapons that the subweapons are for once absent: the hearts are used for the Innocent Devil system.

The ID system is... peculiar, and ngl at first I was overwhelmed by the 5 pages or so of information, but it’s not bad. These little critters help you in various ways, from healing you, to fighting with you, to letting you glide... The biggest draw is evolving the IDs, thanks to the differently colored EVO Crystals that you collect. This allows for much more replayability, gives you a reason to experiment with different weapons, and it’s another incentive to fighting enemies even when not forced.

The possibilities are nearly endless!

The structure of the game is different. Instead of a bunch of “dungeons” to explore in whatever order you like, the progression is more linear: you go from the Abandoned Castle, to the Baljhet Mountains, to the Garibaldi Temple, to the Mortvia Aqueduct, etc. Sometimes, you have to backtrack to get to the next area (you need to find the Brute Force power in the Temple to open the iron gate in the Mountains that lead to the Aqueduct), but overall, it’s basically “get from point A to point B”.

Overall, this definitely feels like a game where combat was placed on a much higher priority than platforming or exploration: fighting enemies is fun, even cathartic, but the game is even more fond of locking you in “defeat all enemies to proceed” rooms than LoI; and as for the maps... I’m torn. Let’s use Baljhet Mountains as an example:

Look how big it is. You can even spot some backtracking moments, secrets to be found once you have the right power, in true Metroidvania fashion. But it’s far, far more linear than even Lament of Innocence, which had more branching paths: it just looks more complex because of the winding path. The branching paths here seem to be here more for the sake of making 100%ing the maps more laborious. There are also far less secrets, one breaking wall per area more or less. The equivalent of that is doors that can only be opened by a special ID power - a vine door that has to be burned down, big gaps to be crossed by an evolution of the Bird ID, a switch that can only be pressed by a particular evolution of the Fairy ID... it’s not possible to 100% the game on your first try unless you’re lucky, but it does give you yet another incentive to experiment with your IDs.

The lack of platforming is especially egregious in the Eneomaos Machine Tower. The clock tower has always been hard as hell, with dangerous gears and annoying Medusa Heads. Here? Just some tough enemies and some gears to hit in order to move. There is a room that is full of gears and conveyor belts, and I thought I had to jump on them, but my Bird ID kept slamming into invisible walls. I had to hit one gear, and a cutscene would open the wall for me. I don't know why I got so irritated near the end of the game, but yeah, the devs went from an extreme to the other.

Even the complexity of the maps is irregular. Some maps are really labyrinthine, like the Garibaldi Temple...

The Eneomaos Machine Tower is linear, but has a cool ascending motif...

... but the Aiolon Ruins are just a straight line.

Infinite Corridor should have been the subtitle of the entire game :\ no wonder the game has a fetish for chairs, poor hector much have constantly sore feet

Dracula’s Castle, the endgame, is by far the biggest area in the game (not counting the optional areas), with a whopping 10 floors. This is not a good thing: it’s basically going up, down and all around fighting annoyingly strong enemies, in rather boring-looking rooms. No secrets to find, no gimmicks whatsoever. Barely an improvement over the Pagoda in LoI.

Also wow is this game stingy with money. By the third area I still had around 200 coins - that’s enough to buy one healing potion. Only near the end of the game I could rack up more than 500 coins, and mainly through selling Devil Shards. Also, suddenly putting a cap on healing potions seems like an arbitrary way to make the game harder.

The bosses are... a bit of a step down? I didn’t find most of them as well designed as the ones in LoI, they’re just tanky. St. Germain and Trevor were really fun though, challenging until you understand their rhythm (also the former caught me off guard with his third life bar lmao). Dracula's second form gave me some trouble, but more due to his obscene HP :P

Interestingly, accessing the bonus boss here is much easier than in LoI. In the previous game, you had to find an item in the very last area, after some annoying platforming. Here? You only need to backtrack to Garibaldi Temple after finding the Devil ID. I don’t think you even get anything aside from the satisfaction of beating a hard boss.

Visually, it’s about the same as LoI, but less elegant. The areas can be either murky and uninteresting (the "nature" areas and Dracula's Castle) or atmospheric (Garibaldi's Temple, Infinite Corridor). Cordova Town is probably the most interesting area in a Castlevania game so far: I would have never expected a zombie town! The cutscenes are also a step up compared to LoI’s: I especially liked the choreography of the Trevor vs. Isaac fight.

Musically, well, it’s Michiru Yamane taking advantage of real instruments, what can I say? :V The OST overall ditches LoI's atmospheric style, having more in common with SoTN’s style. It’s far rockier than the usual too:

Abandoned Castle is one hell of an introduction for our revenge-thirsty protagonist

Followers of Darkness -The First- is the equivalent of the Werehog battle theme: I hate it because it plays so much, but I can’t deny that it’s a badass theme

Garibaldi Temple is your typical Yamane classical goodness. It reminds me a lot of The Prayer of a Tragic Queen and Wood Carving Partitia.

Cordova Town, much like the area itself, is nothing like a Castlevania piece, preferring clean guitars and a gloomy tone; I like how it brings back the synth heard in Abandoned Castle

Eneomaos Machine Tower fits how high up you ascend

Dracula’s Castle screams “endgame”, and it’s a constant crescendo of tension

Followers of Darkness -The Third- is just a good, pumping boss theme

Young Nobleman of Madness and its shredding guitars are perfect for the unhinged Isaac; it seems to be a companion piece for Festival of Servants

Legendary Belmont is scary, and truly conveys how out of his depth Hector isagainst the man who defeated Dracula.

also, this exists. I wish I can convey in text the face I made when I stumbled into this room :V

So, in summary: CoD feels a little like Metroid 2, in that I can't say that it's Castlevania in name only, but it's so different that it barely belongs in the same genre. It reminds me of the first part of OoE, all combat, little to no exploration. But with OoE, I could at least see a timid experiment in bringing the Metroidvania genre closer to the Classicvania one, but here? Much like LoI, it seems to be a consequence of Igarashi’s lack of experience with 3D games.

I had fun with this game, but not for gameplay reasons. CoD is charming: the sheer amount of stuff you can craft, including absurd anachronistic weapons, the complexity of the ID system, the hammy performances, Isaac, the many many out-of-place chairs... it’s engaging! It has that ShTH-esque over-the-topness that I find so endearing :P The game itself, though? Ehhh. It’s not bad, certainly much better than LoI, but it feels like there’s something missing. Still, "okay" seems to be a great accomplishment for a 3D Castlevania game.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 137

Trying to figure out Author’s notes is hard.... Sometimes I just don’t have anything pithy to say, or have too much to say and don’t know where to put it all.

Obviously I am an overthinker.

So, for the sake of everyone reading: Let’s cut to the Shoutouts!

The obvious first: @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, @anotherusrname, and @charlylimph-blog! I love all of you, you are the best.

Special mentions to: @zommbiebro bc I miss you and hope you’re okay. @nekohuntslight for being the OG person to message me about liking the story (yes, Bael, this is the dirty secret behind why I thought you lived in Australia when we first started talking.... shhhhhh). And alllllll the binge readers who blow up my inbox every day, Iloveyousomuchyoudon’tunderstand. Very much adore all of you, you have no idea how serious I am being right now. I need to go through and make one post just screaming all your names to the universe.

Tyche brought drinks and snacks from my kitchen before flopping on the couch in my quarters. The guys were at work, along with Antoine, but my office was closed down for the day. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” she asked.

“Vati and Hannah have everything planned to the smallest detail,” I shrugged. “They’ve already coordinated with Xio and Evan for all the crowd control and monitoring shifts, and the murals are going up today.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m well aware of the logistics stuff. I literally handle all the staffing for the humans on the Ark, and Antoine was also part of the crowd control conversations.”

“Then why did you ask?” I laughed, grabbing a cracker and carefully stacking cheese and other toppings on it. 

Before I could get it to my mouth, she snatched it and held it out of my reach. “Because I’m asking how you feel. You’re only attending as… well, an attendee. No monitoring, no calling the shots, no working from the floor.”

She surrendered my cracker, but I found myself setting it down, appetite gone. ���I’m okay - “

“Lie.” There was suddenly a finger levelled between my eyes like a gun. Just as quickly, it was lowered, and my sister was tilting her head at me. “Come on. You know you can’t lie to me - I’ve known you longer than literally anyone on this ship except yourself.”

“Fine! It’s weird!” I admitted in frustration, standing to pace and shoving my hands through my hair. “My skin is crawling with anxiety, my hands are twitching to snatch up the files and nitpick everything to the smallest detail….”

“Except they locked you out.”

“Except they locked me out, yeah. But I’m pretty sure I could get Derek to let me in, which is why I’ve made a point to tell him not to, no matter how much I ask.” Dropping my hands, I sighed. “But if I ever want to leave this position, I have to let them do this.”

She shrugged and stole my cracker, this time chewing and swallowing before she responded. “You could have kept some involvement in it, you know.”

“Pfft, yeah right. I would have taken it over, and you know that.”

“Yep.”

“Then why even ask.” I dropped back down on the couch.

“‘Cause you needed to hear yourself say it,” she explained, nonchalant as ever, snagging an olive and watching me calmly.

I sat in silence, processing it.  I hated when she outsmarted me like that, especially when she was right. “Can I at least eat first?”

She laughed and let it go, telling me how well the murals for the Festival were coming.  I hadn’t even gotten to - allowed myself - to see the designs, and the more Tyche talked about them, the more I wanted to see them.  By the time I finished my share of our snack, I decided to check out the progress.

We finally made our way to the decks where the Festival would take place, and I thought Tyche was going to die laughing at the way I gaped. The alcoves where the vendors would stage looked the same on first glance, but a closer look revealed very subtle shapes added that would give them a more savage, wild look in the right lighting. Metal sconces had been added to hold what looked like torches, but with special light emitters to simulate open flame. As we walked further, swirls of color revealed themselves slowly, first in light, curling tendrils, but slowly sharpening and taking on a more angular shape, twisting together into phantasmal images that vanished as soon as you tried to focus on them.

“It’s like walking through a garden, or a rainforest, but when I turn my head, I’m in a city.”

“Right?” she laughed as we came around the final corner. 

At this point, we were surrounded by this mural.  Just up ahead, there was a messy head of black hair tied back with a green piece of cloth. Bare feet and arms show smears of paint, and overalls covered a tank top - that, or the cloth for the hair had formerly been sleeves, I couldn’t tell.  One hand propped up on hips while the other hung down, holding a very familiar paint pen.

“Christ on a triscuit, Vati, this is incredible,”  I gasped softly.

She turned and smirked at me over her shoulder. “Not yet, but it will be when I finish.”

“I mean, all of it. The sconces…”

“Those were Hannah and Ivan.” Parvati walked over and touched one with her finger tip, stroking it gently.

Tyche made an impressed noise. “I’m only a little shocked that he had enough time.”

“The materials are on loan from the engineering departments, and we wanted them to be rather rough in the finishing. It helped. Sophia, no matter how curious you are, please do not lick the walls.”

A giggle bubbled up through my chest. “The thought never crossed my mind. I was trying to put together all the flavor profiles here. It’s… a lot.”

“Forgive me if I focused more on color than how the walls would taste. I don’t generally cook, remember.”

I stared down a swirl of pomegranate, popcorn, and gochujang. The colors - blue, pink, and yellow, respectively - worked well together, but the thought of the flavors made my stomach churn. “I solemnly swear not to lick the walls,” I promised. “How much of this are you expecting to still be up by the third night?”

“We have a team that will specifically come touch up the mural in specific places the morning before the second day.”

Tyche turned toward me and away from her study of the art. “Also, you would be surprised how much paint is on the walls. It will take a lot for Else to eat it all, once they are allowed in the area.”

“Before you ask,” Parvati cut me off. “We just asked them nicely. Well, Sam and Derek did.  They’ve become quite the ersatz diplomats to Else.” 

“Anything left?”

“Hannah is putting the final touches on the curtains for the alcoves and the seating areas. She’ll have a team installing them tonight once I finish.”

It was clever, and explained why she was only touching up part of the mural halfway between now and the closing of the event. “You two have really put your stamp on it.”

“Feel better?” She held one hand up gesturing at the entire entire project, eyebrow arched  to show me that she hadn’t been fooled for a moment.

I rubbed my neck, and glanced at her from underneath my eyelashes. “Busted, I guess.”

“That would imply that anyone had believed your charade,” she smirked.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around us again. “I honestly do. I could never have done all this. Holding on would have…”

“Kept you in a position you frankly hate,” Parvati interrupted gracefully. “It’s the same reason Sebastian went back to the Undine. He’s passionate about it, and it shows in the quality of his work.” When I gaped in insult, she held up a hand. “Not everyone can succeed through fear of failing and a determination that things be done right if they must be done at all.”

“Everyone talking about me needing to retire, like I’m old or something,” I joked, throwing my hands into the air.  “Physically, I’m only thirty-five.”

Tyche nodded to concede my point. “What about the food? I haven’t seen a menu come out yet.”

The change in topic made Parvati’s face collapse. “What? It should have gone out yesterday…” She flicked open her datapad, which flickered from the overspray that covered it. Frantically scrolling, she groaned. “This was scheduled, why didn’t it send?”

“Did you check the date?” I asked calmly. “Specifically the year.”

“Three times, it’s scheduled for tomorrow,” she insisted. “Right here: May seventeenth, twenty-forty aw fuck….”

“At least you got the decade right,” I pointed out. “You wouldn’t believe how many scheduled emails I’ve tried to automatically send out for ten or fifteen years ago.”

She nodded and seemed to get her bearings back. “So, protocol for this is… just send it right now and apologize for the late notification, don’t try to make excuses or explain?”

“Exactly. They won’t care why, they’ll just be excited the list is out.”

With a couple quick gestures, she sent the email and dismissed her datapad. “Okay, that was the last thing, then.” Turning back toward the wall she was working on before, she waved to us over her shoulder. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I really do need to finish this up. Thank you for coming to see everything… it was oddly reassuring to have both of you give us your stamp of approval before the Festival instead of making us wait until after.”

“For the record, you two have always had my stamp of approval, or I wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep my nose out of it.” I knew she couldn’t see me, but I still smiled. “We’ll catch up with you after the Food Festival.  Remember: both of you need to plan on taking the day off afterwards. I’m serious.  Have your unofficial advisors drop in and chat about everything, that’s fine. But no actual work, and I won’t let either of you see the survey results until the second day after. So rest.”

“Got it, boss lady. Have a good night!”

Tyche and I turned and headed back to my quarters. We remained silent as we took in all the preparations that had been done, waving to the handful of vendors who were bringing their supplies in already. Once we were back in normal corridors, the silence broke almost immediately.

“I think they’ve got this,” Tyche suggested nonchalantly.

“Oh, I know they do.”

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[levinson-mannion]

3. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Based on @jessie2126 story ‘Perfection’ which is amazing by the way xx

Recipe for the meal made is from a random cookery book I found in the library ‘asparagus risotto’

——————————————————————————

“Asparagus, rice, onion, chives...” Maddie counted each ingredient for the up teenth time. She (stupidly) mentioned she was making some pasta for dinner that night, and Chim offered to help. She tried to not get him involved but he was percistant and is now coming over to help her.

A knock came at the door, Maddie chew led her already open app to see a waving and smiling Chimney on the other side. She took a deep breath and plastered a passing smile on her face.

“Hey! I brought garlic bread, I hope you don’t mind!” He smiles nervously holding up the shopping bag he held in his hand.

“Of course! Come in!” Maddie held the door open, held her hand as if to welcome him in and tried to stop her hand from shaking out of anxiety.

“So... just to warn you, I am not the best a cooking, I just grab a bite to eat, I have not cooked anything from scratch in ages.” He nervously laughed and scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh don’t worry, I am not the best either!” She smiled at him and then stared at the ingredients layed out neatly on the table. Maddie, calm down. It is just Chim, you will be fine.

“Maddie?” Chim inquired, he had obviously been talking, but Maddie had not been paying any attention, to busy focusing on trying to calm her racing thoughts, “I am sorry Chim, I got lost then, what did you say?” She smiled hoping to cover her little faux pas.

“Chopping or boiling?”

“Ur,” Maddie has to think about this. Chopping meant more control over what she was doing, however doing the boiling would reduse the risk of a panic attack. In the end she decided to do the chopping as a voice in her head (a deep males voice to be exact) told her to be in control and make it perfect. “I will do the chopping- unless you want to?”

“No, no it is fine!” He smiled at her and turned around to face the hob, which to his surprise (well not really- when he thought about it was inevitable with Maddie) was all set up with pots and pans.

After around ten minutes of not uttering a word, Chim looked over at Maddie. He had melted butter and started cooking the rice meanwhile Maddie had chopped the onions so finely, all the exact same size by the looks of it and the asparagus was cut exactly like what the menu said: the tips cut off and the stalks exactly four centimetres. She had now however moved onto the chives. Chim had never seen such equally cut chives in his life. While everyone he knew just quickly brought there knife along not exactly caring about the size but Maddie took one piece at a time and chopped it, measuring with her eyes. Her hand started shaking and she threw three, no four finely chopped chives into the bin.

Oh gosh. Why can I not do this? This is simple Maddie! Cut the ruddy chives! This needs to be perfect! Oh no, he will hit you Maddie! Come on. No! Why are your hands shaking! Oh gosh Maddie! Come on! Maddie’s internal monologue was similar to a night a few months earlier while making lasagna with chives.

Maddie was not even in the room, she was back to the 15th December 2018 the last day she made a meal, when she had been told to make dinner- just for the two of them. He had looked over her, nitpicking and correcting everything little thing she did. When she did not cut the chives perfectly she got told to start again and while he was shouting at her, she cut horribly and the beef started to burn. Doug had threw all the ingredients at her, cooked and not then his anger continued, till she locked herself in the bathroom, him knocking and shouting at the door till he gave up and walked away. That day, Maddie had a broken rib, a black eye and around 15 bruises to add to her collection.

Chimney quietly turned the hob off, and slowly walked over to Maddie who, still holding the knife in her right hand, had taken a step backwards. Chimney called her name, her eyes flashed in recognition but nothing else shown that she heard him. Chimney then slowly walked up to her and, as gently as possible, took the knife slowly from her hands. This surprised Maddie, causing her to to stubble backwards, then around to fast, bring a plate with her. The sound of the plate smashing made Maddie fall even deeper into her torturous past.

“I, I am so s-sorry. I’ll I’ll clean it up. I, I please don’t hurt m me. I’ll clean up, I-I am sorry. It was my fault.”

“Maddie? Maddie? I don’t know if you can hear me right now, but I promise you I will never heart you. You are here in your kitchen in LA with me- Chimney- and I just want to help.” Chim’s heart broke at the sight of her bent down picking up broken shards of the floor, cutting herself in the process. He slowly started to move his hands towards hers, slowing down as he got nearer. “It is alright, I got you.” He started extracting the sharp plate pieces from her hands.

This seemed to bring her back in into the room. “Chim?” She looked up with chocolate brown eyes filled with tears, bottom lip trembling. His big brown eyes looked into hers with concern and worry, so very different from Doug’s cruel eyes.

“It’s alright! I got you.” He gently stood her up, when she then, not realising her hands were bleeding, put her head in both hands. He smiled, grabbed the first aid kit and led Maddie to the bathroom, letting her lead the way once they reached upstairs.

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?” His voice held such kindness and eyes portrayed so much compassion as he uttered them. He started to take the shards out her hands with tweezers. He then let her was her hands and and face in the sink before he bandaged then. She looked back at him with a half smile.

“So, you probably want me to explain all that. Unless you want to go, you have done so much for me already. I am a bit much. You can choose to go I will not be offended.”

“I do not want to go, unless you want me to. I want to take care of you. But I do not want you to be uncomfortable.” Her smile grew, “You do not need to explain if you do not want to. I can lend an ear or just sit with you, your choice.” He knew she had a difficult past with her husband off Buck, and the other two times he had met up with her, but as this is only there third meeting together, he did not want to force her. In the end she just shook her head slightly, closing her eyes.

“So, do you want to order something?” Chim asked after a bit of a silence.

“But what about the food...” Maddie trailed off, pointing down stairs.

“If you want, but I did not know if, you know, was uncomfortable with it or...” it was his turn to stop mid sentence.

“Chinese?” She asked and he nodded.

They both headed downstairs, and after some conversation (including a very stubborn Maddie) Chim went to clean up the kitchen, grab his phone and headed back to the sofa where he left Maddie.

“So the pal-” he stopped midsentence, seeing Maddie fast asleep, curled up under the blanket she leaves on the sofa, looking absolutely adorable.

Chim sat in the chair opposite her, smiled and let her rest.

‘This, evening ended in rather a good way’ he thought quietly to himself. He then made a promise to himself and Maddie that he would never buy chives again.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight prologue (part 3)

Levelling up and last stands

Graendal to Galad, and now Galad to Padan Fain. It’s like alignment whiplash.

The sky was black. A tempest. He liked that, though he hated the one who caused it.

This is great because there’s just a hint of ambiguity to who that actually may be. Rand? Or the Dark One? And when you have to ask, even for a second…well, that’s sort of the point, isn’t it.

Hatred. It was the proof that he still lived, the one emotion left.

Well, that’s one more than Rand at any rate.

(Pre-Dragonmount, I mean).

Padan Fain exists to chew scenery and you know what buddy? Chew away. Live your dreams.

Did his hatred cause that storm? It must be so. Yes.

Sorry Fain; pretty sure Rand has first claim on I am the storm. He just carries it better, you see. It’s a good look on him and we don’t mess with that.

I typo-ed that as ‘it’s a god look on him’ and really… either way.

When you accepted madness into yourself – embraced it and drank it in as if it were sunlight or water or the air itself – it became another part of you.

I’m mostly amused by how similar this sounds to the wording of Egwene thinking of how the Aiel handle pain. In this case I don’t think it’s particularly intentional or meaningful or anything, but it amuses me.

Another part of you. Like a hand or an eye.

Not sure those are the best examples, given Rand and also very likely at some point Mat, but sure.

He was finally free.

Has something changed? Oh, wait. Is this the first we’ve seen of him since saidin was cleansed? And Shadar Logoth destroyed? I think it is, in which case… interesting. Particularly interesting since it doesn’t seem to have affected the dagger’s power – Fain’s still obsessed with his precious, at any rate – and last we heard Rand’s wound(s) hadn’t healed. But Shadar Logoth was destroyed, and its power seemingly with it, more or less, and so now Fain or Mordeth or Smeagol or whoever he is these days is free, in a manner of speaking. That’ll end well for everyone involved, I’m sure.

Oh he killed a worm. And he’s in the Blight so that’s a Worm. Im…pressive?

Mist had begun to trail him, creeping up from the ground. Was that mist his madness, or was it his hatred? It was so familiar. It twisted around his ankles and liked at his heels.

Like a yellow fog, that rubs its back upon the window panes, a yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window panes, licks its tongue into the corners of the evening…

No? Or perhaps like, say, Mashadar? I mean, maybe it’s nothing, but if it’s not nothing, that’s… concerning. Were more things freed than Fain, in the ruination of Shadar Logoth? Open to give the world hope but did it also release some element of despair?

The mist struck.

And unless we’ve transported into one of Sanderson’s original works, that means I’m right and the cleansing of saidin did indeed have some… unintended consequences. Which is fitting, in a grander sense of balance, but still kind of… well, sad.

So Fain has levelled up again, it would seem, which is the outcome absolutely no one needed.

That said, he played enough of a part early on, and enough has been made of him from time to time afterwards, that it would be kind of weird to leave him out of the ending. Personally I wouldn’t particularly mind; watching him chew scenery is fun enough from time to time but the rest of the time I sort of tend to forget about him, and I’m not particularly invested in anything to do with him, and the slightly more critical side of me wonders if he was ever truly necessary as a character… but at this point in a series, once you have a character like that, dropping them now would feel untidy. It would feel like an oversight, or like lazy plotting.

Which is hard, when everything about him suggests that his entire purpose is to be a wildcard character. He doesn’t have a clear fated role to play in all of this, unless it’s something to do with his link to the dagger and, via that, to Mat somehow.

Instead, he’s a powerful entity on a third side in a two-sided war. Yes, there are far more factions than that within each of those sides, and so much of the point of the last several books has been that lack of unity, and the tragedy but perhaps inevitability of fighting against those who should be your allies, of losing sight of the larger conflict in favour of the smaller and more immediate ones, and of trying to forge some kind of alliance despite that, and the ways in which that can succeed or fail.

But Fain is less a part of that and more a completely outside element. Not, in a way, unlike Aridhol itself was, as it became Shadar Logoth. A darkness and an evil that came from a form of the Light and its hatred of the Shadow and, over time, twisted. And therefore was an evil that was not truly of the Shadow, but was no longer an ally of the Light. Instead it was its own poison.

That’s kind of what Fain is. Which certainly has potential, as a story element, but I am curious to see how that’s played, and how well it’s played, given the sheer volume of characters we’re dealing with, and the size of this conflict, and the many other themes already at play. Can his role, whatever it is, end up feeling satisfying? I guess we’ll read and find out on that one.

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent, but the point of it was: yes, he’s levelled up, because I think he has to in order to have a hope of having his part in the ending being interesting or satisfying.

Red below, black above. Red and black, red and black, so much red and black.

See, the thing is, I know for a fact that Brandon Sanderson is a fan of Les Miserables, so I am fully justified in humming ‘red, the blood of angry men; black, the dark of ages past….’

Also, Moridin would approve. Of the colour scheme, if nothing else.

And also of the chaos. Some say the world will end in (bale)fire, some say in ice, and Padan Fain says fuck it why not evil killer mist. Less poetic but sure.

(Let’s play a little game called: over the course of the liveblog, how much of an English Literature syllabus do we think I’ve referenced? …on second thought let’s not play that game)

Oh, the Trollocs didn’t die, they just got a Mashadar Makeover and now they’re competing for Malkier’s Blight’s Next Top Abomination.

He left the Myrddraal. It would not rise, as rumours said they did. His touch now brought instant death to one of its kind. Pity. He had a few nails he might have otherwise put to good use.

Perhaps he should get some gloves. But if he did, he couldn’t cut his hand. What a problem.

The thing is, while the style here is very Sanderson, for a character like Fain it actually works pretty well. Which is mainly, I think, because I have long suspected Sanderson has a soft spot for writing characters who are utterly batshit and having the time of their lives with it. Pass the scenery, and the salt. Yum.

Like an old friend. A dear, beloved old friend that you were going to stab through the eye, open up at the gut and consume by handfuls while drinking his blood. That was the proper way to treat friends.

Sure, it lacks the undertone of beautiful horror, and the poetry of Machin Shin whispering about braiding flayed skin, which is in a way a shame. But it conveys the essential message and character, and at least for me, this works well as an example of Sanderson’s approach of not trying to imitate style because that could go so badly, but instead emulating the feel of the story itself. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but here, at least for me, it does.

It's ironic in a way that it’s a similar thing to what he’s done with Mat, but it has the opposite effect. With Mat – I’ve written about this elsewhere, but tl;dr is that I think he read Mat as funny and so tried to write Mat as funny, using his own methods rather than Jordan’s because imitating style exactly is a lost cause, but something very essential was lost in the translation (like the fact that Mat himself isn’t really humorous; it more comes from the contrast of his thoughts with his actions, and his character against the world around him, but I digress again). So he went for ‘convey the same idea through my own methods rather than trying to imitate Jordan’s’ – consciously or subconsciously – and it backfired. But with Fain, he’s taken the same approach – ‘convey a scenery-chewing wildcard who has lost every mind he’s possessed, which is several’ – and this time the same-idea-different-style still gets that across in a way that feels true to character.

Obviously mileage can and will vary on whether or not this works, but for me it’s just an interesting study in how a certain approach or method can succeed or fail depending on exactly how and where it’s applied, and what the cause of that success or failure may be – why it works in one place but not another, and what went right or wrong.

It is, I think, something of a writing exercise if you want to turn it into one. A bit like reverse-engineering an outline from a book you’ve read (I do this often; I realised at some point that I was doing it and then I made a point of doing it deliberately, and it’s super interesting, and for me at least it’s helped me think more deliberately about the structure of a story, and how that can be leveraged for different effects). But thinking about the specifics of what does or doesn’t work for you about the authorship switch – a particular character, or a scene, or the pacing, or the handling of a certain theme, or anything else – and then digging into the specifics of why it works, or doesn’t.

That, for me, has been more interesting than just picking out the differences. Sure, I’ll nitpick, but I prefer not to focus on it, because ‘this is different’ feels… kind of pointless. Of course it’s different. Figuring out exactly what is different, or why it’s different is interesting sometimes. But also figuring out where and how that difference matters or doesn’t is more what I’m trying to get at here. Because some of the differences, I don’t mind. Some, I do. And trying to understand why I mind some and not others has been helpful at least for me in, again, understanding all of those elements of a story or piece of writing better, and thinking about how they could be used or changed or recombined.

But then, I’m the kind of person who likes to take things apart to figure out how they work. And also to overthink every goddamn text I consume.

Still, it’s a fun one if you’re in the market for writing exercises to try whilst in quarantine.

*

Malenarin Rai. Bold of you to introduce a new POV character in the penultimate book of a series that already has dozens if not hundreds, but that’s WoT for you.

Also it’s a prologue so the rules are different.

Heeth Tower is a weird name. Heeth. But then, I don’t think Sanderson has ever been quite as good with names as Jordan was. And that’s the sort of change I’m not going to get too worked up over. (Also, it was Jordan who gave us Mountains of Dhoom, so I rest my case).

The whistling wind rattled the wooden shutter.

It’s not time for the wind yet; we’re still in the prologue! Wait your turn, wind; chapter one should be here any day now.

Using a Trolloc horn as a paperweight is pretty badass, Malenarin, but Furyk Karede and his human skull wineglass might offer some competition.

I don’t think we’ve spent much – any, depending on where exactly the scene in TPoD’s prologue takes place – time in Kandor outside of New Spring. I guess we’ve got to finish filling in the map now; we’ve only got one book left!

Malenarin’s son is turning fourteen soon, so he might just be lucky enough to get Tarmon Gai’don as a birthday party.

He smiled, setting the Trolloc horn on the note, in case that shutter broke open again. He’d slain the Trolloc who had borne that horn himself. Then he walked over to the side of his office and opened his battered oak trunk. Among the other effects inside was a cloth-wrapped sword, the brown scabbard kept well oiled and maintained, but faded with time.

Typing it out, it’s not even that similar, but reading this my first thought was of Tam al’Thor, pulling out his old trunk and his old sword at the beginning of The Eye of the World, before giving it to Rand as he sets off on his coming-of-age story.

To have a duty was to have pride – just as to bear a burden was to gain strength.

In moderation, though. *Looks pointedly at Rand al’Thor*

I still don’t understand how turning their backs on the Blight to go find the Dragon Reborn to tell him to pay attention to the Blight is a good idea for the Borderland rulers. I must be missing something here and I hope it is eventually revealed to me, because otherwise that is terrible strategy on so many counts.

The only way to go to the fourth level was to climb a narrow, collapsible ramp on the outside of the tower

What could possibly go wrong? I mean, last time we were in Kandor a kid was thrown off a balcony, so…

[Jargen] wore a cord looped around the shoulder of his brown uniform; it bore a knot for each Trolloc he’d killed. There had to be approaching fifty knots in the thing by now.

That’s cute, Rand says, flicking dust off his shoulder Luke-Skywalker-in-The-Last-Jedi style, and flicking some Arrows of Fire off with it to torch another thousand or so Trollocs without breaking a sweat.

But okay, yes, for an ordinary non-protagonist non-Lan in a random guard tower in Kandor, I suppose that qualifies as pretty badass.

The beacons have been lit! Gondor Rena Tower calls for aid!

Pretty sure that’s your cue, Lan.

Or not; Malenarin seems to think it’s his cue to confirm the SOS and start preparing the tower for… bad things, probably.

Seriously, wind, wait your turn.

Of course his son is next on the list of messenger boys to be sent out. Well, it’s a better fate than being thrown off a balcony at least. Maybe.

‘No, we need to send several messengers. Double up. Just in case the towers fall.’

Do you have any uncrowned infant kings you want to send as well? Just checking.

Malenarin let himself feel a hint of relief that his son was one of those riding to safety. There was no dishonour in that; the messages needed to be delivered, and Keemlin was next on the roster.

There is a kind of parallel here – less a parallel, perhaps, than an echo – to Lan. A son sent to safety as a Borderland hold prepares to fall, the sense of a last stand. Because in the Borderlands perhaps that is not so unusual a story, in its way. The Wheel of Time turns.

It was time for Tarmon Gai’don. And looking out into the storm, Malenarin thought he could see to the very edge of time itself. An edge that was not so far distant.

Maybe you should have a dream-chat with Moridin, Malenarin. Maybe it’s just the air in the Blight: gives you nihilist thoughts.

Oh oops, his son wasn’t one of the messengers to go. Because he decided to be all noble and let another boy go in his place, whose mother had already lost four sons. That’s sweet, kid, and it’ll probably get you killed.

Tian, Sanderson? Named after another ill-fated messenger boy in your own works, perhaps?

‘Run down to my office,’ Malenarin said. ‘There is a sword in my oaken trunk. Fetch it for me.’

Aw. Because his son has proven himself a man, three whole days early. Because we’re approaching the end now, and it’s time for everyone to take their last steps into their roles, become who they must be to face that end – whether they’re a protagonist or just some poor doomed kid in a tower in the Blight.

It's something these kinds of snapshot one-off scenes are good for: to show the scope of the story, that it touches everyone, no matter that they’ve never even met Rand or any of the others. And to give this sense of those final steps happening in snapshots like this across the land. The sense of an entire world taking a last deep breath. And so we pause for brief close-ups on the faces of some of the extras stepping onto the battlefield, to illustrate that.

Keemlin’s swearing his version of the ‘kill the bad things until we die or they do’ that every Borderland (and Aiel) nation seems to have, each with its own slight semantic variations.

‘Rise as a man, my son!’

This is no place, or time, for children. Ergo, he can no longer be a child, by simple virtue of being here. Which makes this a rather bittersweet moment; Malenarin’s proud of his son but there’s also this sense that far too many children are having to grow up far too fast in these last moments (and others will never grow up at all – in today’s theme of referencing poetry I like, go check out The Lads in their Hundreds).

They yelled defiance of the Shadow. For a moment, their voices rang louder than the thunder.

I don’t have a lot to say about this except that it’s a lovely image.

Together they turned to face the oncoming Shadow.

Nice knowing you.

Draghkar overhead and Trollocs oncoming, and they’re just a lonely tower waiting to die. I do love a doomed last stand, even if it’s characters I’ve never met before and likely will never see again.

Malenarin was a man of the Borderlands, same as his father, same as his son beside him. They knew their task. You held until you were relieved.

THAT’S YOUR CUE, LAN.

Next (ToM ch 1) Previous (ToM prologue pt.2)

[honeylikewords]

Let’s see... f, h, i, q and/or v for Miguel if it’s not too much? Feel free to choose which ones you’d like if you don’t like some of them though!!! Thank you!

Sorry that it took so long for me to respond to this; things have been hectic, and I ended up writing a lot for this prompt, so that lengthened the time devoted to the project, but I finally wrapped it up: please enjoy!

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?):

Oh, jeez, poor Miguel has had such a hard time with the idea of “love”. He never was exposed to any particularly healthy or romantic adult relationships and thus never had that many to model his own on, so he just sort of assumed love didn’t really exist.

It was a comforting fairy tale for those too stupid to realize someone was out to use them, looking to get something from them, to feel pleased by the attention they got from the person they claimed to be “in love with”.

Thus, Miguel’s relationships usually consisted of not a great deal of personal intimacy or emotional connection; they’d last a few weeks, fizzle out, or come to a crashing, smashing halt, all screams and shouts of what a cold, miserable person he was, how selfish and callow, how vain and unfeeling. 

He tried not to let it faze him, he did, but you can only be called a “self-centered pile of shit” before it starts to get to you.

After becoming Spider-Man and realizing he needed to not only put others and their needs before himself and his own, but that he needed to have people he cared about and who cared about him in his life to make him feel like an actual human being, Miguel made a much more concerted effort to be, at the very least, nice. Caring. A better listener. More empathetic.

Because of this change, Miguel was able to start letting more people into his life-- his brother, Gabriel, for example, grew closer to him; he started having more friends and a better social life; his AI, Lyla, even, was more responsive and happy to be around him-- and started making some better progress towards a healthy mindset about love.

People are not all good, he discovered, but not all of them were bad, either. And certainly not all of them were out to use and abuse him, to get something from him. Maybe people really did care about each other: he knew he, at least, cared about others. And maybe, someday, someone would care about him, too.

A few years, some therapy, and a great deal of trial and error found Miguel at the tentative start of a fledgling relationship. He wanted to do everything right for a change, and didn’t want to screw anything up with this girl, this loving, kind, irresistible girl. Miguel felt anxious every time he saw her, fearing that today would be the day he’d say something stupid and selfish and foul enough to make her change her sweet mind about him, and break his heart in two. 

He’d go home after every date and relentlessly nitpick his memories of what he’d said; had he been rude to the waitstaff at the restaurant? Had he politely complimented her, or been too forward? Perhaps not forward enough? Had he engaged her conversationally, or talked over her?

Miguel agonized like this for weeks, paranoid to death that he was ruining his chances of being with this beautiful, smart, wonderful woman. Every text he sent her he double, nay, triple-checked, making sure his tone was right-- not too clinical, not too loose, not too many periods, not too many exclamation points-- and broke out in a nervous sweat before being forced to hit the ‘send’ button.

This continued on far too long, until, one day, at the park, as they were sitting on a bench and admiring the sunshine of the afternoon, Miguel’s date noticed he was tense. She glanced over and eyed him gripping his ice cream cone with the kind of ferocity she only ever saw in people clinging to the handholds of a rollercoaster or, perhaps, in people trying to keep calm during a flu shot.

She put her hand on his knee, patting gently, and coaxed his attention to herself by placing the pads of her fingers under his chin, guiding him into turning his face to look at her.

“Miggy?,” she murmured, sending his heart hammering in his chest. “Are you okay, honey?”

“’M good,” he managed through gritted teeth, feeling a dribble of the melting mint chocolate chip roll down his wrist. He pretended he didn’t.

“You’re clearly not. I can see you white-knuckling that cone. You’re throttling it like it owes you money.”

“It was $3.50. It practically does.”

Ignoring his snip, she rubbed his chin affectionately with her thumb, making him shiver slightly, then tense his spine straight and tall, shoulders back, taking an almost too-perfect posture. She furrowed her brows at him, huffing slightly.

“Seriously. Am I... doing something wrong?”

Miguel chewed his lip as he shook his head, unwilling to let his eyes meet hers. Great, he thought. I blew it. I had a good thing going and I fucked it up trying too hard to not fuck it up. 

“No,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. I just...”

“Oh, god,” she groaned, taking her hand from his chin to cover her eyes, defeated. “You’re breaking up with me.”

“What?! No!” Miguel turned to face her, shock overtaking his shame. “That’s not it at all!”

She peeked through a gap between a few of her fingers, meeting Miguel’s gaze. He gave a sheepish smile and put his hand on hers, gently prying it away from her face. When all of her was revealed, he let out a breath of anxiety, then pressed himself to confess: after all, what was a relationship without honesty, without candor? Dogshit, he guessed.

“I just... get a little... tongue-tied around you. Everything-tied, actually. I’m worried I come off kinda, uh, asshole-y and I would really, really hate for you to see me acting like myself and perceive me as asshole-y, because, I promise, I am not every trying to be asshole-y, I just give off that kind of presentation at times and, admittedly, am not so great at, you know, casual conversation and being good at reading others and--”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole, sweetheart,” she interrupted, putting a finger to his lips to pause his rambling. “I think you’re actually really, really kind.”

“Whum?,” he mumbled around her finger. She seemed to get the gist, but lowered her finger anyway.

“You’re a good listener; you always remember the stuff I tell you. Like this.” She held up her ice cream cone-- a half-finished scoop of cherry-chocolate. “You ordered this for me. You remembered that this kind is my favorite.”

“I wouldn’t forget something like that,” he said meekly. “It’s what you like.”

“And you always text me first; I get so much anxiety texting first, but you always send me “good morning” or a sweet little thing after I’ve gotten home from a date... I mean look!”

Reaching into her purse, she produced her phone and unlocked it, tapping on the messaging app to pull up the text logs between herself and Miguel. He felt his face go warm at the prospect of being confronted with his own messages.

“Right here, from last week: “Hope you have a good rest of your night; thank you for the wonderful date. See you Friday, and sweet dreams, sweetheart.” That’s so cute of you!”

“...You think it’s... cute?”

“Well, yeah,” she said, smiling at him warmly. “I think you’re cute. And a genuine, nice, kind person. So you have nothing to worry about. I love being with you, Miguel.”

Leaning across the space between them on the bench, she pressed her lips to his cheek in a chaste, temperate kiss, then pulled back with a satisfied smile, watching him for a reaction.

Miguel’s heart leapt, thudding in his chest excitedly as his whole body grew flushed with giddy, boyish happiness. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling elatedly, dreamily lifting his ice cream up and giving it a lick as he gazed at her with doting eyes.

At that moment, Miguel realized he might be at serious, definite, absolute risk of falling head over heels in love with this girl. Though, in the back of his mind, he knew the truth: he was already a lost cause, already surrendered to loving her, even if she never loved him back.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?):

Miguel gets a little self-conscious about his hands; he worries about his claws, at times, and the callouses, burns, and scars all over his palms, knuckles, and the backs of his hands. He’s learned how to keep his retractable claws, well, retracted, but the first few times he held hands with his girlfriend, Miguel was utterly convinced they’d come springing out of him like a jack-in-the-box and slash her to ribbons.

Thankfully, that’s never happened.

Now, armed with greater confidence in his ability to hold hands like a normal goddamned human being, Miguel will sometimes hold his girlfriend’s hand as they’re walking along the streets of the city, though it must be said, he finds hand holding a more juvenile kind of affection and prefers to either walk with his hand on her hip, on her lower back, or in her pocket.

It’s not that he’s looking to be “more handsy”, he just isn’t really into the way his hand feels just swinging back and forth through the air, like he’s going to go skipping merrily along. He’d prefer to just be holding her tight to his side or walking with his hands to himself, because he doesn’t have to be touching her 24-7 for her to know she loves her.

He does like to hold hands, though, when they’re talking over dinner at a restaurant and the table is nice and small and they can both comfortably rest their arms on the surface and just rub their fingers on each other’s knuckles: he finds that irresistibly soothing, and romantic in its own, sweet way. 

Otherwise, Miguel is more of a “reach out and stroke her face” kind of affection-giver than a traditional hand-holder, and that’s perfectly lovely for both of himself and his girlfriend!

I = Impression (What was their first impression?):

Honestly, it depends on the AU (since I write so many first meetings and love the idea of making a new one every time), but here are some general ideas I hold to:

Miguel does not give good first impressions. He often comes off haughty, “cleverer than thou”, and elitist, especially when he’s not in a good mood. If she caught him on the wrong day, he might talk down to her or assume she was his intellectual inferior, which is absolutely not true or fair, and that would leave a sour taste in both of their mouths. 

That being said, I often imagine their relationship would have to bloom over time, in starts and stutters, bad impressions fading with moments of brightness as they get to know each other better.

Miguel might perceive her as easily slighted or not as smart as himself, but regrets his poorly informed impression the moment she glowers at him and speaks her own mind, eloquent and acute, her wit discerning and her pride dented by his show of poor sportsmanship. 

After that, he’ll try harder to be polite, to let her take the forefront during conversations, and start to see so many wonderful things about her, hidden behind the wall of that icy first encounter; had she always had such lovely eyes? Such soft-looking lips? Oh...

As for her, she might hold her grudge a little longer, since he was so rude and brusque with her. However, over time, she’ll soften to him; he is rough around the edges, a little pompous, and carries an air of arrogance, but it’s pretty obvious that he acts that way to compensate for being insecure, anxious, and lost.

Once she recognizes that he’s trying to do better and be nicer, and that he’s just as uncertain of himself as everyone else, she feels a little more forgiving of his faults. After all, it’s pretty sweet of him to bring her a tea without her needing to ask, or for him to hold the door for her and smile so politely; maybe he is changing for the better, and he does have such a nice, strong jaw…

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?):

Miguel, hailing from the year 2099, has quite a bit of modern techy stuff and has shown a canon disinterest in the knick-knacks of yesteryear. What does the twen-cen have that he doesn’t already have, but better? He’s so tech-minded that it can be hard for him to disengage from it; he has Lyla, his suit, and, heck, even his own genes were altered through the advanced tech of the future.

That being said, Miguel does find that he needs to take a break every so often. If he is living in 2099 with his girlfriend, he finds that his favorite “non-modern” thing is probably, weirdly, real, home-cooked food.

People in 2099 still do cook, obviously, but he’s never really paid attention to cooking for himself or taking the time to do it. Food delivery is so easy, instant food so readily available, and pre-prepared meals are so vastly different by 2099 that he’s never really had to cook for himself. 

He always saw cooking as a waste of effort: why labor the day away in the hot kitchen for painful hours to just get… food? Why not go out, or get something delivered, or just microwave something? Wasn’t it all the same, in the end? 

Then Miguel got a girlfriend who just happened to enjoy cooking, and just happened to come over one evening and bring a bag of her own ingredients; onions and garlic and herbs and vegetables, all being chopped and tossed into a large pot with water and stock and just a touch of the wine he'd assumed she'd brought as some sort of gift to him.

He watched her as he sat on the counter-- he'd asked if he could help but was given a brisk tut and told to sit back and relax-- and let the smells and sounds and sights wash over him.

He didn't know his kitchen could smell this good (while overwhelming, Miguel's sensitive nose rejoiced in the cacophony of warm, hearty scents), much less feel so homey and alive. Pans were sizzling, singing a song he'd never slowed down to listen to before. His beloved was busily switching between stirring the pot, flipping the contents of the pan, checking her recipe, and flitting from the cutting board to the sink and back, just to repeat the same dance all over again, bustling about with a briskness Miguel admired. The whole room seemed brighter and more welcoming now that it was being used for its intended purpose, instead of being the place where Miguel kept his various freezer-meals.

All the while, he talked to her, asking her why she was doing this or that, curious about the way she diced the vegetables or seared the dish in the pan, fascinated by her responses. He especially admired that she didn’t just do things “because”; she knew why she did them, why it was helpful, and even went out of her way to dispel common kitchen myths for him as she was replying to him.

“A lot of people don’t seem to realize how to actually hold a knife,” she said. “They put their fingers way too close to the blade, or they press down really hard instead of doing this kind of thing--” --she held the knife for him to see and motioned it in a sort of parabolic sawing, extending her arm gracefully and then bringing it back with care to keep the knife at a safe distance-- “--And end up getting themselves hurt.”

“Oh,” he hummed, red eyes fixed on her hands as she effortlessly minced a shallot into thin little arches. “I never really thought about that.”

“I mean, you don’t really have to.” She pointed her knife-holding hand at his lap, where his hands were folded contemplatively. “You’ve got built-in dicers and slicers!”

“...Oh my God. You’re right. Toss me an onion. I gotta see if I can do that.”

After that day, and the incredible, warming, filling meal that they’d shared, Miguel had his mind completely changed about food. Now, he realized he had been struggling to eat before because nothing tasted good, or like it had any substance to it. The feeling of working hard for a result that carried weight and value to it meant something to Miguel, and to create something that sustained both himself and his beloved became an idea that overtook him with a zeal to try his hand at cooking.

That isn’t to say he was good immediately: quite the opposite, in fact. He was a terrible judge of temperature or whether or not something was browning versus burning, and he often found himself questioning why he should do something like, say, soften butter instead of just melt it all the way, and would end up making a bigger mess than when he started. However, he was a quick study, and, with a lot of mistakes and burned dishes along the way, became a well-seasoned chef!

He naturally was good at organizing his ingredients and process, didn’t forget steps, kept his station clear and always washed his dishes as he was using them (habits carrying over from his work as a geneticist were often surprisingly useful!), and, though hesitant to ask for help out of fear of coming across as incompetent, was always receptive to his girlfriend’s advice and encouragement. 

All that added together and helped form Miguel into the happy home cook he is today, with he and his girlfriend cooking meals together as often as they can! Every once in a while, though, Miguel is just too damn tired after a long day of Spider-Manning about, and they’ll order in some Indian takeout or Chinese and just crash on the couch together, content to indulge in the ease and comfort of the familiar. 

(And, yes, Miguel can, in fact, cut vegetables with his claws.)

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?):

Oh, Miguel. If Miguel’s primary sin were to be named, it’d be pride. He’s made up for a deeply internalized self-hatred with a projection of confidence, and that’s morphed into a sort of bravado and hubris that can get him into all kinds of trouble.

Miguel knows he’s smart. He knows he’s handsome. He knows he’s strong and athletic and capable of amazing things. He knows he’s attractive and a wit and all that and a bag of chips, so, at times, he can come across almost as vain and obnoxious; he’s not ashamed of showing off how many push ups he can do, or how fast he can run (see: the actual, in-canon comic where Miguel ran his universe’s equivalent of American Ninja Warrior live on television and beat the course in record time and then pretended he’d never done such a gymnastic thing in his life), or how he can take down enemies without breaking a sweat. 

He’s healthily proud of himself for growing from a scared, maligned child into the strong, accomplished man he is today. But his pride can grow toxic, at times, as it’s also a defense mechanism to keep him from having to assess, address, and correct his flaws, and to prevent him from being vulnerable to criticism from people he loves. Miguel dances on a razor-thin edge between confident and callous, between self-assured and self-centered.

It takes quite some time for him to start breaking down the walls of conceited, self-absorbed behavior that he’d adopted to protect himself, and he lapses often; his humor can be a bit cold and demeaning, and what he says as a joke can sometimes feel like a belittlement to someone else, so he often has to be scolded into an apology or made aware of a faux pas on his part before he can make even an inkling of progress.

But, as time goes on-- and as he is humbled by failures and losses, by rejections and the need to rebuild himself as a newer, more externally-focused man-- he finds it easier to listen to the needs of others, sympathize with them, and forget his pride in order to do what’s right for someone else. And Miguel comes to realize that while he can be confident in himself, his body, and his mind, he takes the greatest pride in his growth; transforming from a selfish child into a selfless man is no meager feat, and the journey has brought him closer to those he loves and made him stronger than ever. And that, right there, is something damn well worth being proud of.

Thank you for your patience!

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[myforeverforlife]

another sunrise.

For a fourth anon! Jongdae + 99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

Masterlist

One look at you, and your husband knew that it had been a long day. In fact, this had been one long day in a week full of equally long days. Add onto that the cold that was starting to manifest at the back of your throat, and the stress of a new work routine. You were surprised and relieved that you had managed to make it through the events of today.

“Hey babe, how was work?” Jongdae asked, sneaking a kiss to your forehead as you slipped out of your coat.

“Crazy. Frustrating.” You groaned as you kicked off your boots. “I’m just glad it’s the weekend. I missed you.” When Jongdae tried to kiss you on the lips, you stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Wait, Dae. I can literally feel a cold coming on.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jongdae pouted when he ran into your hand once more, settling for a side hug instead.

“That’s gross,” you said, wrinkling your nose. “And plus, I feel like we just got over that stomach flu you brought home, and I’d really like to avoid a repeat of that again.”

“Aw, I’m sorry babe. How can I help you feel better?”

“Unless you can make my work schedule and cold disappear, and whisk me off to a sunny island somewhere, I don’t think there’s much that’ll make me feel better.” A cough cut you off, Jongdae instantly jumping back in surprise.

“What about a warm bath? And afterwards, we can eat some takeout or something.”

Narrowing your eyes, you studied your husband’s face, his smile much too innocent for your liking. You weren’t really a bath person, something that both of you were aware of. “You just want an excuse to get me naked.”

Jongdae shushed you, gently pushing you towards the restroom. He wouldn’t hear of you helping out in any way, requesting that you lie down while he got the bath ready. The sounds of him bustling around in the bathroom with the steady stream of running water in the background were enough to have you drifting off to sleep. It was only when Jongdae gently shook you awake did you remember where you were and what was going on.

You let Jongdae guide you towards the restroom, woodenly stepping out of your clothes while Jongdae collected all of the pieces and threw them in the laundry basket.

“Okay, hop in babe.”

You eyed the steaming tub of water, highly suspicious that you and Jongdae had two different definitions of what a “warm” bath was, but you trusted him anyways. Holding onto the edge, you slipped one foot in, cringing as the rest of your body followed. “This bath is too damn hot.” You hissed as your elbows touched the surface of the water, quickly bringing them up and resting them on the edge of the tub.

“See, this is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

“Excuse me, I’m the whiny one here?” You reached into the tub, grabbing a handful of water before splashing it onto Jongdae’s hair.

Your husband screamed, backing away as he tried to shake the water out. “Okay, okay, I see your point.” He scowled as you hid your smile behind your hand, your shoulders trembling with laughter.

“So what’s next on your list? Strawberries and champagne while you massage shampoo into my hair?”

“Hm, I’m not so sure about the first two, but I can definitely give you that massage.”

And so, for the next ten minutes the two of you sat in calm silence, the only sounds being that of tiny waves of water splashing against the sides of the tub every time you moved around. You relaxed against the wall of the tub, facing away from Jongdae as he massaged your neck and shoulders.

“Dae?”

“Hm?” Jongdae’s fingers were brushing through the ends of your hair, detangling the strands in the water.

“I’m sorry I’ve been all cranky this week.”

“Babe, it’s fine. I know you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately.” His fingers moved from your hair to your face, tracing lines across your features. One finger went down the slope of you nose, leaving a trail of water of in its wake.

“I know, but still. I really appreciate everything that you do for me. I love you.”

Jongdae smiled, bending down to kiss one cheek, and then the other. His grin grew wider as you smiled up at him, you face upside down from your position in the tub. “I love you too.”

“You know what would make this even better?”

Jongdae hummed curiously, hands pausing over your shoulders.

“If you were in here with me.”

In a flash, Jongdae was standing up, shuffling out of his clothes and dropping them onto the floor.

“Wait, wait,” you rushed to say, sitting upright. “We’re just taking a bath though, no funny business tonight.”

“Okay,” Jongdae replied without hesitation. “Scoot over,” he murmured, gasping as his skin hit the water. “Okay, so maybe the water is a little too hot,” he admitted meekly.

With a giggle, you moved to the other edge of the tub, both of you sitting face-to-face, knees and legs bumping into each other in the middle. “When’s the last time we did this?” you wondered.

“Took a bath together? Never, unless you’re thinking of someone else,” Jongdae added, one brow raised in confusion.

“No, I meant just spending time with no distractions, not even with the TV on in the background. When’s the last time we just took a break from the world and pretended like we were the only ones that existed?”

Jongdae slid further down in the water as he thought, his chin brushing against the surface and sending ripples across the surface. “I don’t know. Its been a while though, huh? I don’t think we’ve been this relaxed for a while.”

“How was work for you today?” you nudged his toes with your own, giggling when he jolted up in surprise at the sensation.

“It was okay, I’ve had better days though.” Jongdae went into detail about a student who had walked into his lecture hall almost half an hour after the exam started and demanded that he let them take the test. “I mean, I would’ve understood if their car had broken down or their mom was in the hospital or something, but I had literally just seen them sitting outside a Starbucks with their friends before class started. These kids get more insane with each passing year,” he huffed out indignantly.

“I’m sorry.” You reached out for his hand under the water, giving it a light squeeze as you consoled him. “It’s not fair that some of them try to take advantage of how kind you are.”

“It’s not. But hey, that’s part of the job I signed up for. Lots of papers to grade, exams to proctor, kids who think they know it all because they’re in college.”

You motioned for Jongdae to turn around, moving closer and grabbing one of the shampoo bottles from the shower caddy. “I guess we both really needed this bath tonight,” you said as you began massaging shampoo into his scalp.

Jongdae sighed happily, eyes closing as you continued to wash his hair. “Thank you,” he mumbled sleepily. “We need to do this more often.”

“Mm, without the stressful work day though.”

You finished washing Jongdae’s hair before letting him do the same to yours. Both of you finished washing up, fingers pruny and bodies shivering from the water that had gradually started to cool down.

“Let me go order some takeout,” you offered, a towel wrapped around your body and another around your hair while Jongdae was still drying off.

“Thai food?” he called out after you.

“Fine with me!”

Thankfully, the Thai place that you guys often frequented wasn’t too far away, and soon you were merrily chewing down on your plate of pad Thai. Jongdae was equally enjoying his curry, taking a few pieces of shrimp from your food whenever you looked away.

“God, I’m in heaven,” he sighed, still chewing on food.

“Finish chewing.” Shaking your head, you pushed his chin upwards, forcing his mouth closed. “Although I can’t say I disagree. That bath was a good idea, Dae.”

“Well, I have been known to have some of those every once in a while.” He grinned as you snorted in amusement.

“Alright, Mr. Funny Guy. Are you gonna let me finish my dinner or what?”

“Depends on what the other option is.”

“A good, long nap that ends up with both of us sleeping through the night until noon.”

Jongdae chuckled, shoulders shaking as he leaned forward to kiss you on the nose. “Who am I to argue with that?”

It was easy to let the stress of the day linger over you, to nitpick every detail that you wish you could have changed, something that you wish had gone differently. But here in the comfort of your home with the person you loved the most, it was just as easy to remember that it was just important to breathe and take things one step at a time.

Tomorrow would be a new day, after all.

A/N: i feel like i’ve been getting sick all the time this fall, so writing this was also sort of healing for me as well haha (but seriously everyone, stay safe and healthy especially today on halloween!)

[naromoreau]

I'd love to see some soft Joe smut with f!Dep 😊

Thank you so much for your request! I hope you like what I wrote for you _____________________________________________Pairing: Joseph Seed x F!DeputyRating: NSFW

It’s amazing how less cooped up the bunker seems with every passing month. She watches Joseph fumbling with a pickle jar, trying to prepare the scarce dinner they share every night. Rook can't stop noticing alarming new things day in and day out, just like she’s doing right now. It’s the twist of his hand. Definitely. Or the flush of his cheeks. Or perhaps the way his brow furrows, wracking the immutably calmed expression of his face. Rook isn’t sure and can’t pin down the exact motion that makes her gut stir, but there it is. He grunts under a heavy sigh and she titters at how ridiculous the whole situation is.

“It’s stuck,” he apologizes, giving a final try, flexing his biceps under the mild exertion, another sign that doesn’t go unheeded, as her fluttering stomach can vouch.

A tinge of color blooms on her cheeks. “God, you’re so useless,” she blurts out in the middle of a jag of laughter carefully elicited to hide her state.

She swings her legs on the stool, finally coming down and reaching for the jar. “It’s not about brute force.” She grabs a spoon, giving gentle taps to the side of the lid for a few seconds. “There, try now.”

Joseph takes the jar from her hand, grazing her fingers while doing so. There’s a small quiver somewhere in her chest that she tries desperately to stomp down. Yes. She still balks at the idea, thinking whatever she may feel is bound to be repaid with a sharp rebuff from Joseph’s part. They have a history together after all, and it’s not a good one.

“Praise the Lord! We have pickles.”

Rook jolts out of her inner dilemma to see him smiling. So genuinely. She smiles as well. “Dinner has been significantly improved,” she says serving herself from the bowl they share, silencing her floundering thoughts, “god, Joseph, really, how have you managed ‘til now?”

He knits his brows, a hint of amusement on his face. “What do you mean?”

“You are bested by pickle jars, you hate peanut butter sandwiches-”

“I didn’t think you noticed,” he says with a glint of mirth in his blue eyes, “we usually don’t have breakfast together.”

“Well, I uhm-- I did notice,” she plainly states, hoping the creeping blush on her cheeks won’t belie her hidden feelings.

He says nothing, just doing what she expects and hopes for every night. “It’s time to say Grace.” Joseph extends his arms over the mantelpiece, palms up, and waits for her to do what she knows must be done. A little something she indulges in, because after all these months she still sinks and drowns in a morass of guilt for her past actions.

She reaches forward and places her hands over his, enjoying the contact and the current of electricity that careens through her just by the mere touch. Which is silly. Rook stares at him intently as Joseph recites verses with that faint lilt she has grown fond of.

So few months. Yet so many things had changed, time dwindling her reservations, disrupting everything she believed in and allowing her to see-- to see him. To see him just as Joseph. Forgiving and kind, in equal contrast to her bitterness.

“I have something for you after dinner,” Joseph says after finishing his prayer, his hands still trapping hers.

Her cheeks turn red yet again, her mind trudging through a skew alleyway at his words. Hoping-- “Oh?”

“It’s a very small thing,” he says venturing his eyes back down to his plate and gently pulling his hands away.

Suddenly Rook is very aware of every inch of space between them, as forks clatter against plates, and the buzz of the generator buffers the heavy silence.

When the meal ends, Joseph clears the dishes out of the table, taking them to the small sink and then crouching in front of a cupboard, retrieving a small bag that he promptly places on the table.

“These are for you,” he says, voice almost wavering, as she finally realizes what he has in his hands.

A bag of chocolate cookies.

Rook can’t stop the annoying butterflies flitting in her stomach. For such a small gesture, it’s incredible the amount of things it’s stirring inside her. “Thanks, I uh-- where did you get them?”

“I found them while organizing the pantry,” he says smoothly, and Rook truly feels the pull of his charisma while looking at those captivating eyes in front of her. “I remembered you said-” he clears his throat, a fist in front of his lips, “I remember you said those were your favorite.”

She blinks, taking in the whole gesture. “Did I?”

Joseph nods, and Rook clutches the bag, swallowing a bit of the nostalgia choking her throat, memories clashing with reality. A small gesture at the other side of damnation, doesn’t quite taste the same and yet-- She can still see yonder, and have hope. With him. Because of him. “Thank you Joseph-- God, I love you.”

She instantly stiffs before throwing herself to reach the door over the loud clunk of her stool hitting the ground. But he is faster.

“What did you say?” Joseph asks, clasping her wrist and moving just to a few torturous inches from her.

Rook is exhausted. Of hiding it. Of nitpicking things about him to help her navigate their life together. “You heard me,” she says, chin held high, but unable to hide the hangdog expression on her face. Her next words gush out unbidden. “I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t look nonplussed or even rattled, the corner of his lips quirking in a tender smile. “Never be sorry, my dear,” Joseph says cupping her chin with calloused fingers, brushing her forehead with his. “I love you as well,” he whispers on her mouth.

Rook gapes at him for a short second, but she doesn’t have much time to go about the ifs and whatnots before he’s pressing his lips against hers. They’re soft and moist, eager and fervent in their caresses. His tongue is deftly and smooth against hers, tracing the seams of her mouth as his hands travel to her hips to draw her closer. Her heart quickens its pace, feeling his control tattering with every movement. His maddening taste blows open in her mouth and sweeps already threaded sentences off her mind, making her gut clench in anticipation when he pulls her closer.

“I love you so much, my dear,” Joseph finally says breathless, and it makes her chest swell with warm bliss, just realizing her arms are already laced around his neck. “You’re everything to me.”

“I- I didn’t--” She stutters finishing with a moan when he melds their lips again.

The kiss stretches for long seconds, a hot blush washing in a prickly wave from her cheeks down to her chest. Joseph is flush to her, one hand waved in the soft locks of her hair, the other at the small of her back and his erection pressing against her lower abdomen.

“Joseph I need- I--” She says, inhaling sharply.

He swallows audibly. “Come.”

They make the way to her cot in a silent rush, under flickering lights. Everything resumes when they fall on the bed, Rook straddled atop Joseph, hands exploring and roving over unfamiliar territories. He groans in her mouth, and grinds his hips against hers as the floor soon is strewn with discarded pieces of clothing and she can feel every inch of his bare skin in contact with hers.  

“I’ve been waiting for you, loving you, wanting you,” he rasps with hot breath against her neck, every word stressed with a searing kiss on her skin, “for a long time now, my love.”

He grounds her hips against his lap, her folds pressing against his cock. For a moment he lets her go, switching his position until his back is resting against the headboard. “Come,” he says reaching both hands towards her.

She lets out a shuddery breath when her fingertips brush against his palms. God, she wants him. Has she always wanted him? Perhaps, but it’s not something to consider right now.

She clambers into his lap, and kisses him as he slides his hands down her back, anchoring them at her hips. His fingers dig in her flesh a little when he grinds up against her. “Are you sure about this, my dear?”

“Yes,” Rook moans between kisses, goading him to keep nibbling at her collarbone, “please, yes--”

And just to show him her want, she raises up on her knees and takes his pulsing cock in her hand, the perfect, thick curve arching towards his belly. He gasps as she pumps him, reveling the small drops of pre-come oozing from the tip. Rook hovers over his lap, clasping his neck to hold him in place and pushes down. Her mind tumbles, overwhelmed with the tidal of emotions arrowing through her, and she shivers seeing his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth falling open.

He moans, burrowing his face into her neck, but doesn’t move, allowing her to go as slow as she wants. Their gasps blend into the sweltering atmosphere once he’s fully seated inside her, and she’s taken aback by the raw emotion in his eyes, as he finally starts moving. Rook can feel his girth testing her limits, the stretch stinging a mite with every lazy downstroke, her cunt full and tight around him. She creases her brow and looks down, tracing the place where they’re joined together, sliding his fingers just where she stretches to accommodate him.

He looks at her face, gaze flitting between her eyes and her bottom lip, that she’s chewing in concentration. “I’m not hurting you? am I?” Joseph asks, his breath puffing against the line of her jaw, stilling inside her.

She smiles at him. “Not at all, you feel amazing.”

Rook sets a slow pace, but the little sounds Joseph makes every time she drops down, hips slapping against hips, are driving her to speed up. His moans are heartfelt, almost longing and she’s certainly touched by it. Leaning forward he catches her nipple in his mouth and she arches when he starts sucking hard, his beard scratching against her skin. Her heart thumps in her ears, as she goes faster and harder, now practically riding him among helpless moans and airy grunts Joseph makes every time he bottoms out.

She’s sure she’ll lose her mind. His hands grip her hips, and she’s sure her cheeks are flush hearing the rich wet sounds of his powerful thrusts. “Oh, my love--” Joseph says, words shadowed by a strangled moan, “you are exquisite.”

She's lost in his starry blue eyes, her mind shrouded by how good he feels inside her, and how his lips gingerly brush hers, his kisses reverent.

The familiar pleasure uncoils in her belly and her wailings bounce off the bedroom. “Oh, god, Joseph,” she says, “oh yes, please!” In other circumstances, she would’ve tried to tone down the high pitch of her voice, but they’re all alone. At the other side of tomorrow.

She feels Joseph clinging to her as the movement of his hips become more frantic and he buries a grunt in her sternum, bucking his hips against hers as he finally spills inside her.

They lay in each other’s arms, trying to regain their faltering breaths as she melts in his embrace, Joseph carding his fingers tenderly through her hair.

“We’re made for each other, darling,” he whispers in her ear, languorous caresses across her back, “it just took us the end of the world to find out.”

She smiles, drooping her head on his shoulder, thinking that maybe, just maybe, things can start anew.  At the end they have each other. They’ll be ok.

[theshijlegacy]

Rise of Skywalker ramblings

Saw RoS last night and loved it. 

I’d seen the mixed reviews and was a bit apprehensive going in, but was pleasantly surprised in a lot of ways.  It kept some of the spirit of TLJ that I liked while still delivering a lot of the “safer” Star Wars story that I expected.  Being part of a super enthusiastic opening night crowd is always fun too.  And it’s nice to see that I’m not the only person who liked the whole 7-8-9 trilogy!

Spoileriffic thoughts below.

--Rey Palpatine was one of the theories I’d kicked around, but it would have been nice if she really was nobody, like the Force doesn’t care who you’re related to. Timeline-wise she would have been better off as his great-granddaughter but I completely buy Sheev having lots of kids and/or having some later in life.

--I’d been running with the “Skywalker is the new name for Force user” theory for a while, but I’m OK with Rey adopting it as her last name.  She doesn’t have to be a Palpatine and the name of the family that saved the galaxy is continuing.

--HOLY CRAP FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE.  I would love it if that was what he wanted to tell Rey.  (Best answer from Reddit: “I’m in love with Poe and don’t know how to tell him!”)

--Ben Solo didn’t make it to the end!  I was convinced he’d get a redemption arc and live happily ever after. Props to JJ/whoever for going in that direction, especially with the Jedi fadeout.

--The opening crawl getting right to "oh hey the emperor isn't really dead.” So happy they didn't drag out the “when-do-we-see/hear-the-emperor???” mystery

--Sheev Palpatine and his motherfucking contingencies for contingencies, plans-within-plans shit.  This guy was a thousand steps ahead of everyone else, all the time.  Got a glimpse of that in Empire’s End too.

--LOL the tank of Snoke clones.  Sheev loves his clones, in both canon and legends!

--Poe’s lightspeed skipping.  Poe being an ex-spice runner.  Poe and Zorii!  Poe in general.  Poe is great.

--Luke/Leia training flashback!!  Leia's lightsaber!!!!  Which she presumably built herself!!!!!

--3-way Finn/Poe/Rey hug.  And the sound of a thousand fanfics being composed…

--More First Order defectors who had been kidnapped as children.  (Also a plot point in Empire’s End, complete with a 6-year-old-ish Armitage Hux ordering around a group of kidnapped-and-brainwashed child recruits)

--Hux being the mole, not because he agrees with the resistance, but because he hates Kylo Ren.  I bet he was hatching a plan as soon as Snoke was killed.

--Force-healing onscreen!  And it wasn’t just “Force magic” (which I also would have been OK with), it was actual taking life from one to give to another.

--Rey was noticeably better at lightsaber fighting.  She was… not great in TFA.  Only slightly better in TLJ.  Her year of training really shows and I like that we’ve seen a pretty clear progression.

--Rey stopping that transport with some Kyle Katarn shit and Kylo trying to get it back and OH SHIT REY SHOT OUT FORCE LIGHTNING  

--Palpatine: GLADoS edition has been added to my recent “horrifying scene that works but really gives me the creeps” list (also includes flashback to Coulson resuscitation/brain surgery with him repeating “just let me die” on Agents of SHIELD, Brainy getting rebooted on Supergirl)

--Aside from his GLADoS-esque support arm complete with wires, I liked undead-Palpatine's look - missing fingers, whited-out eyes, and his transformation after he stole life from Rey & Kylo.  Especially the red-lined robes.

--Got serious Endgame vibes at the end with all the ships showing up. Husband unit also pointed out the parallel of “I am inevitable”/”I am Iron Man” and “I am all Sith”/”I am all Jedi”

--OMG ALL THE JEDI SPEAKING TO REY.  I didn’t recognize everything at first but I heard Obi-Wan (young & old), Yoda, Mace Windu, Ahsoka(!!!!!), and Anakin.  Per the credits, voices also included Qui-Gon(!), Luminara Unduli, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia, and Kanan Jarrus(!!!!!).  Two notable absences: Cal Kestis and Ezra Bridger.  I can accept Cal’s fate as TBD since Fallen Order just came out, but this is really good news for Ezra.  I am now super super interested to see where these two have been.

--Kept the Rey/Kylo force-connection deal.  It weirded me out in TLJ but I’m really glad it was kept here.

--Wedge coming back for one last ride!  (and aging pretty well, wow)

--RIP Snap.  :-( I’d grown a bit attached to him after the Aftermath trilogy, but I think Norra and Brentin would have been proud.

-- ForceGhost!Luke has a new attitude; I guess being dead for a while tends to mellow you out.  I am still 100% OK with his character in this trilogy.

--Kylo not being as good at fighting after he dropped the dark-side allegiance – specifically the 6v1 fight against the Knights of Ren before he got the lightsaber.  Like he'd been into it so deep for so long he forgot how to fight without it.

--Han coming back one last time for some Ghost Dad Advice

--THANKS FOR NOT KILLING CHEWIE!!  I was seriously worried

--Rey fights herself!

--Where can I buy a replica of that Sith wayfinder?  I do like shiny force-user crystals/holocrons/etc

--Rey finally builds her own lightsaber!  And it’s yellow.

--TAKE THAT REYLOS: Oh you want a kiss huh?  There’s your kiss!  AND NOW HE’S DEAD.

--That whole scene.  Kylo staring at dead Rey.  Kylo force-healing Rey and bringing her back to life.  And now they’re staring at each other, and I’m thinking don’t kiss you idiots, don’t fucking do it.  FUCK they did.  I actually booed out loud.  (I will not deny being a little bit happy that Kylo died immediately after)

--All of the “are you happy Ep 7 & 8 haters???” stuff: Rey is super powerful because she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter, someone bringing up a “why don’t we Holdo this” argument and getting shot down with good reason, showing Leia’s Force powers with a flashback to being trained by Luke AND having her own lightsaber

--The urgent timeline got kind of.. muddled?  Forgotten?  They had 18 hours or 12 and still had time for all those spacejumps and Lando gathering friends from all over?

--A bit too on-the-nose with some of the ROTJ parallels.  Lando in disguise saving the day on a desert planet! Speeder bike chase!  Emperor taunting Our Hero while their friends are losing a huge battle outside!  A Skywalker dies so Our Hero can live!

--Also wondered if one of the writers played SWTOR: Emperor who really isn’t dead uses Super Mega Force Lightning and tries to jump into Our Hero’s body to take over their mind.

After chewing on this for a day, here’s my ranking of Skywalker/Palpatine saga films from best to worst:

5 > 8 > 9 > 4 > 7 > 6 > 3 > 2 > 1

And including Solo and Rogue One:

5 > Rogue One > 8 > 9 > 4 > 7 > 6 > 3 > Solo > 2 > 1

tbh I’m so far into the “inject all Star Wars content directly into my veins pls” territory that I can’t say I hate any of it, and even the cringiest prequel moments are leaps and bounds ahead of a lot of other junk I’ve watched/read/played.  So much about Star Wars is just FUN, and I will gladly handwave away most of my nitpicks (SpeedForce, I ain’t gotta explain shit) for the sake of enjoying the story.  Even the ridiculous stuff that I poke fun at is still a part of the whole mess; it can’t all be great or even good or OK and that is fine with me.  [NOTE: I have not watched the Holiday Special but the husband unit is weirdly enthusiastic about me doing so; it may happen yet this year.] 

I really like this comment from the A.V. Club.  More cynical than my overall take on the whole shebang but I totally know with where they’re coming from.  I don’t agree with all the responses but it’s a pretty good discussion.

[fulldreamsahead]

Cold Feet Cold Body

So we have our players, 3 girls and two boys. In my dream they did not have names so I will just retroactively give them names that I think fit them. My name is Maria. My female friends’ names are Tina and Janine. Tina is a dyed blond with her roots showing, she likes to do smokey eyes but never really washes away the rest of her makeup correctly and it always ends up looking a bit too smudged. Janine is a yes girl with a big mop of curly black hair on her head and warm-toned skin, she is always beautiful and on point. I never get to see myself but in snippits of movement I can see I have dark-ish skin and thick dark colored hair. Our men are Travis, a man who looks like Adam Devine in a Anders Holm-style hat, and Jared his associate, a man that is tall and jacked.

Our plot begins with me being invited to be a bridesmaid at Tina's wedding. We’re living in a relatively metropolitan area that is skirted on all sides by farmland (much like DFW) and her dream, even though she has NO REALATION WHATSOEVER to the country, is to have the ultimate country wedding. She has always liked the idea of barn raisings and such. In her wedding preparations she has become a 'country girl' and even adopted a slight southern twang even though she is from California born and raised. I find this detestable but am very polite and smile through the fields of fake. I want to believe Janine is my guiding light, I try to take her aside to talk about it but in dipping my toe into the water I realize that she cannot even tell the difference and is just elated to be maid of honor. I am at a loss. While preparing for the wedding realize the most perplexing thing; I have not met or heard of the groom, a man by the name of Timothy. For some reason I find it weird that no one is allowed to slang it to Tim, his visage seems too elegant and I am suspicious. Timothy is apparently loaded and rents us out a mansion-like air bnb in the middle-of-nowhere farm country to do our wedding preparations. The wedding itself will be held at a neighboring farm, ONLY 20 miles out and the preparations there are going smoothly. The groom and the groomsmen will be staying at that location, but it is not as updated as our location, and he wanted us to be pampered and have a girls spa weekend prior to the Sunday wedding.

  On Friday morning we arrive, I park and find mysterious Timothy helping his beloved move all her things into the air bnb. It turns out he is actually my high school boyfriend TIM who dumped me after cheating on me with some 'skank' at a party. I found out via an old friend Bernice, who had been at the party and showed me photos of him macking on some blond chick in a skimpy pink tube top and then taking her into one of the bedrooms. We do a flashback of the scene and me dumping him while pouring an entire route 44 over his head. Back in the present I make pleasantries with him. He doesn't seem to remember me but I am not surprised. It's been about 11 years since then and we only dated a few months in freshman year. Tina giddily grabs his arm to officially introduce us and of course Janine asks the stereotypical question of “how did you guys meet?” It turns out that Tina was the 'skank' at the party and we have another flashback revealing so. She refers to the 'me' in the story as 'some bitch' that she gladly stole this hunk away from. She says they lost touch after their one night stand but then by fate they met up again about 6 months ago and the sex was 'just as good'. I am furious, I have been friends with Tina since high school. I know for a fact she knows what I went through, she was with me while I was ugly crying in the high school bathrooms. I am already on edge when she brings out a dog. A big fluffy husky who turns happily at the sight of his owners (Tina and Timothy). My fists clench. That is my dog. This is where it gets really strange, apparently. I lost my dog earlier that year having a bad time (maybe there can be a bad year montage at the beginning of the movie) and Tina offered to help me look. She was the one who insisted that I finally give up after about a month, but I was heartbroken nonetheless. I mention that out loud that he looks just like my Archduke Ferdinand. I can see the cracks in her glass smile as she says “oh hun, not this again, I just loved your sweet pooch so much I had to get one of my own! Is it too soon?” She turns to Timothy to ask him to take the dog with him and I insist it's ok. I have a sure fire way of figuring it out, I just need a moment alone with the dog. After hauling in the rest of the belongings, I say goodbye to TIM much to his discharge.

  We spend the rest of the morning setting up the house and taking stock. There are some farm animals in the house and, while from the outside it looks like a regular old fashioned country two story, on the inside it is a totally decked out fully modern gorgeous property. The backyard has endless greenery rolling up to a crashing wave of cedar forest lining the property. There is a gnarly hundred-year-old oak tree on the eastern half of the property. As Tina is setting up her expansive makeup collection in the bathroom and Janine has decided to lay down on the couch and take advantage of cable, I met up with 'Fluffykins' in the yard. When I had Archduke Ferdinand, I had him micro-chipped. Out here in the middle of nowhere I can't actually get it checked to see if he’s mine but I do remember that he was mistakenly micro-chipped in his butt instead of his back due to his eagerness. I doubt anyone else would make a similar mistake. He follows me eagerly (remembering me?) and I go to investigate a local shed on the property. Opening the door looks like a scene out of a horror move; you see my silhouette power stance in the doorway of the dark and cobwebbed palace of yard instruments. While a stud finder can't identify any microchip information, it can ping you to its location in the dog. A quick swipe over the butt and I hear the ping. I drop to my knees and shed a few tears and hug my dog. He struggles and licks my face in confusion. After I am able to recollect myself I am furious, the rages of Satan burn in my eyes and we have a montage of some stupid things that Tina has done to me over the years. “Oh yeah, those bangs totally suit you!” “No girl that dress does not make you look fat.” “Oh honey, there is no way a man can resist a girl with frosted tips.”

  Oh why did I let her go with me to the salon more than once. This 'bitch' has been ruining my life for years and I am done. I breath in, sigh, and Ferdinand follows me out of the shed and I lock up shop. I go inside and put on my customer service smile and greet Tina who whines at me and asks me where I have been. I tell her that I was just getting some fresh air and she makes a note about how she doesn't want the humidity to throw off my hair because we all have to look in sync. The corner of my mouth twitches but I stay focused.  I ask about food options and she sighs haughtily saying she couldn't get the host to feed us so we are going to have to send someone to go get food. I offer quickly and she thanks me with a fake sickly sweet sound. Everything about her looks like a cracked up doll: the eyes too big, the smile too painted on, and I can't take it. I go down to a local 'grocery store' or shall I say dollar mart and pick up what can be turned into meals for us for the weekend. This is where we meet Travis and Jared. They are bumming it in the back of a pickup in the parking lot, drinking monster energy drinks and doing chew. I put my bags in the car and approach them. They begin to puff out their chests like birds to hit on me and I stop them right in their tracks. “Hey fellas I have a fucked up idea, want in?” They deflate immediately and seem a bit scared of how abrasive I am. I tell them the gist of what is going on and Jared is particularly passionate about taking another person’s dog. I thank him and I ask him if they could pull a little Texas Chainsaw Massacre and come over to scare the shit out of the girls tonight. That will teach Tina to be in a place she doesn't understand and crack her fake-ass exterior. They seem reluctant so I offer them each 50$ and they are in. The plan is they go at the house Strangers style, with no intention of actually entering the house and we will disconnect the phone lines prior. I make a mental note to unplug the girls’ phones and tamper with the lock screens to keep the brightness on so they lose battery and we are 'trapped'. They understand their limits and not to hurt anyone and we are golden. I give them the address and we are set. 

I return with the food and Tina nitpicks my choices while Janine makes the best of it. The rest of the evening is uneventful, while Tina complains that she wishes she had catered a sushi platter to us instead of the burgers we were forced to eat because the meat goes straight to her non existent flat ass. As it gets dark I put my phone plan into action and convince the girls to watch a horror movie to really set the mood. We watch Friday the 13th and at 11 p.m. the fun begins. I hear the boys shit truck putter by on the highway, they honk just driving past the house to alert me that they will be parking down the road and on their way. The movie still has 15 minutes and this could not have been planned better. As the movie winds down the boys make it to the property. First they disconnect the power. The girls scream in the dark and I follow suit, I’m a pretty good actor after years of putting up with Tina's bullshit. As we head as a group for the breaker box outside the house, a light hung just above the small scary shed to make it even more erie is still on and tall Jared is standing under it in a mask. Tina is terrified and runs back inside the house, Janine pulls on my should and screams we need our phones. We run back in, lock the door, and the girls run for their cells phones finding them all to be drained and dead. They also cannot seem to find the cords to their chargers. Tina immediately blames me for my shitty unpacking for some reason and I snap at her in the heat of the moment that her dumb-ass fiancee must have misplaced them! Janine is crying, poor girl, she does not deserve this but she is an innocent bystander in what must be done. Ferdinand is pacing by the back glass door whimpering. Tina asks him what's wrong. He barks and a sickle shines just right and scratches down the glass. The girls freak out and run around the house. Tina makes a beeline for a neighboring bedroom instead of the master for some reason. Meanwhile the boys are laughing outside about what a good job they are doing, they are over in the barn with the other animals laughing about why a sickle is even on the property. “Are they harvesting wheat like the slavery ages?” Travis has a great idea to let the animals out and Jared is skeptical, he doesn't want them to get hurt. Travis says “Why would they? It’s a closed property. They'll probably just run amok.” So Jared agrees and they open the barn and all the cages. The horse runs out first and they snicker about which windows they should harass next. 

Back in the house shit gets real when Tina pulls out a fucking gun from the top of the extra bedroom closet on the second floor. Both Janine and I are twice as on edge. “When the fuck did you get that?!” Janine asks (a huge anti-gun person). Tina says “Shut the fuck up Janine, you know they could have stopped Sandy Hook if the teacher would have been armed.” Janine is furious and Tina loads the gun and holds it loosely in her hand, the two of them bicker and I am panicking. I have to tell the boys to get out as soon as possible this has gone tits up and that is when I here a smash of glass downstairs. Tina takes front position and we all get dead silent. I panic realizing we never set up a safe-word and knock over a decorative vase in the hallway. Tina pivots the gun at me and I shout a little too loudly for her to GET THAT FUCKING GUN AWAY FROM ME, hoping to alert the boys and also scolding myself remembering that I told them specifically not to come inside the house. We reach the bottom of the stairs and we hear some non-specific crashing in an adjacent room, we move around the corner and see nothing and then, jump-scare, it’s the fucking horse, his eyes illuminated red with the flashlight we found in an upstairs bathroom sink cabinet. Tina fires the gun instantly, missing the horse and the thing goes fucking nuts, kicking and neighing destroying everything. We collectively lose our minds and scatter. The boys are on the east of the house and contemplate if that was a gunshot. Jared says “This shit is too much” and that they should bail. Travis agrees and as they pass the gnarled oak they hear a sound and turn. It’s a mother raccoon. Jared punches Travis for scaring him and comments on how cute it is. Travis tells him to fuck off and screams at the animal hoping to scare it off for scaring him. It full on attacks him and he runs careening around the corner of the house with Jared cursing under his breath to help him.

A lot of other high-jinks ensue over the night and in the morning we are all wrecked. Especially Tina whose hair is a rats nest and her smokey eye has become a smokey face. We trapped the boys at some point and somehow by the grace of god they do not blame me, they just say they were trying to have some fun with city girls and something about gentrification of air bnb in the area, surprising everyone with their wit. I took the gun away from Tina and am rubbing my temples with it in my hand. She was too trigger happy anyway. I end up sighing and saying fuck it and come clean about everything, going from screaming to tears, Tina is sympathetic and right when we are about to make up there is a crackle in the tree line and something gray comes running at us in full speed. In total automatic reflex Tina grabs the gun an fires at it thinking its the raccoon, but its Ferdinand, he is hit. Everyone goes into fast motion at that point, we bring him to the vets office and in the waiting room Tina and I have a screaming match and everything comes out.  

Unfortunately like most dreams there is no real ending... Though I wish there was... 

[itsanerdlife]

Dreaming of You 13

Pairing: Eggsy Unwin x Reader (Jake Miller x Reader - Friends)

Sequel to Caught Up In You…

Warning: Swearing. Insecurity. Drinking. Lots of jealousy. Mentions of cheating. Angst. Mentions of sex.

We have reached the end, hope y’all enjoyed this as much as I have!!

“Give up your career?” Harry blinks surprised, he quickly takes a long sip from his glass.

“I owe the record company another album, and I can cut down on the touring for it. It’s my choice.” You nod, holding the glass with both hands, taking a long sip yourself. The feeling burns as it slides down your throat, keeping you from having a meltdown.

“Are you sure? You’re young, you could have a long career. You’re very talented.” Harry nods, he looks unsure of the conversation.

“I could still have a long career. I enjoy song writing, I could feature with other artists. I could put out an album every so often. There’s a lot of things I could do that don’t include touring.” You set your glass down, pulling your hair from the half up bun shaking your hair out.

“May I ask what brought this on?” Harry looks over at you. Your hands in your hair, elbows resting on your knees, you were staring down at your legs and the rug under your feet.

“I hate my life being in the public. I hate having every little movement scrutinized by millions of people. I hate everyone assuming Eggsy is cheating on me.” You rack your teeth over your bottom lip, looking up finally. “Or accusing me of cheating on Eggsy because I’m friendly with someone else.” You shake your head, rubbing your hands over your thighs.

“Something happened today with your interview?” He asks nodding. You groan, picking up your glass and finishing it off. “I’ll fill you up again.” He nods, taking your glass and standing up. You hear the glass against glass, liquid pouring, and a slight vibrating. “A moment.” Harry holds up a finger answering his phone as he steps away.

“Harry?” Eggsy is panicked.

“She’s here.” Harry explains. “She needs to talk.” Harry glances back.

“Is she okay?” Eggsy sighs with relief.

“Another glass of scotch and I’m sure she won’t be feeling to terribly.” Harry chuckles softly to himself.

“I’m coming, I’m escorting the Princess back now. I’ll be there shortly.” Eggsy explains.

“I think that’s best. You should hear what she has to say Eggsy, don’t judge her to harshly.” Harry nods.

“Don’t let her leave.” Eggsy replies. “And Harry don’t let her get drunk.” He pleads.

“I’ll do my best.” Harry hangs up.

 “Harry.” Merlin steps into the room suddenly, pausing. He looks from Harry to you. “Y/N?”

“Y/N, is having some career doubts.” Harry nods.

“Are you thinking about quitting?” Merlin sounds surprised.

“Very much so.” You nod, chewing your bottom lip.

“You love what you do though Y/N.” Merlin comes over sitting down on the sofa with you.

“I know I do, but I love Eggsy and our relationship more.” You rack your fingers through your hair.

“Well I’m sure there are more options than just quitting.” Merlin looks nervously from you to Harry.

“I’m sure Eggsy doesn’t want you to just give up what you love as well.” Harry adds.

“How am I supposed to be happy doing something I love when it’s ripping me and Eggsy apart?” You look from one to the other.

“Well,” Merlin clears his throat.

“That’s,” Harry starts, his brow coming together. You stand up pacing behind the small sofa you and Merlin were sitting on.

“Do you know what its like to spend your days surrounded by people who only care about how famous you are?” You shake your head ranting. “To be standing in front of hundreds of people knowing none of them really give a fuck about you? To not be around the one fucking person who actually makes you feel worth it?” You stop moving looking at them, they exchange a look.

“Well,” Harry blinks rapidly.

“What’s the point in having everything I could ever want, but not the only person I want to share it with?” You sigh, shaking your hair over your shoulder.

“Would you want, do you think Eggsy,” Merlin clears his clear shifting awkwardly.

“Y/N?” Eggsy’s voice comes from the other side of the door. The seating room door swings open, Eggsy looks slightly out of breath and panicked.

“Eggsy.” You sigh in relief. He closed the distance between you and him quickly, his hands cupping your face.

“You can’t run off like that.” His jaw clenched, face screwed up his forehead pressed to your own.

“I needed advice.” You nod, understanding his panic. He kisses your forehead, hugging you tightly.

“What is going on?” Eggsy lets you go looking at you.

“Don’t be mad.” You wince looking into his green eyes.

“Okay.” He nods.

“I think I’m going to quit.” You press your lips together, holding your breath as you watch him.

“No.” Eggsy shakes his head, letting go off you completely, he steps back, staring at you like you slapped him. “Fuck no.” He shakes his head. “Why would you do something like that? You love what you do. I’ve never seen you happier than when you are on stage performing.” He blinks confused wide green eyes at you.

“I know that Eggsy. I know what I love. But what’s the point in having it, if I don’t have you?” You shrug, biting your bottom lip. “It sounds crazy yes, but Eggsy I’m tired of being away from you.” You sigh. “We’ve been together a year, and we’ve spent maybe six months of that together, actually in the same room together.” You wave your hands.

“Do you want me to quit? Do you want to break up?” Eggsy stammers, confused.

“God no Eggsy. I don’t want you to quit, you love Kingsman. I would never.” You shake your head.

“I would never ask you to give up music.” Eggsy looks defeated.

“I don’t want to break up either. I think I just want a different career.” You sigh. “One where our relationship isn’t nitpicked by millions of people.” You explain.

“Can I suggest a compromise?” Harry speaks up. You and Eggsy look at him.

“Yes I agree. Perhaps while Y/N still tours and creates music, we figure something out with Eggsy’s traveling?” Merlin looks to Harry.

“Yes. While in the states you could work under Champagne, strictly in states. This way you’d be together more often. With Tequila and Roxy, we should be covered here.” Harry nods.

“Tours last any where from four months to eight.” You sigh. “That’s too long for you to be without Eggsy.” You shake your head.

“What if you just did shorter tours?” Eggsy perks up. “No longer than four months and then while you’re in London you can tour, and I can work here. Brandon can escort you while I’m away.” Eggsy nods, looking to Harry and Merlin who both nod agreeing.

“What about our relationship Eggsy? You punched Jake and I’ve never wanted to physically assault a princess before in my life.” You sigh your shoulders sagging. Eggsy smirks, Merlin presses his lips together trying to not laugh, Harry closes his eyes clearly finding you humorous.

“You’re it babe. Nobody else will do.” He moves close to you, kissing you lightly on the lips. “We’ve gotten through worse things, this is just a cake walk.” He chuckles softly, making you roll your eyes grinning at him.

Updated List: @mo320    @rileyloves5   @irepeldirt   @elle88531   @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked    @violinbetty   @cece-lives-here   @kazuha159   @petersunderroos   @geeksareunique   @pcterpvrker   @hunter-demigod-timelord     @breezy1415      @yallneedtrek   @sarahp879   @buckybarnesappreciationsociety   @sgarrett49   @magellan-88   @mariekoukie6661   @bluephoenix394     @to-pick-ourselves-up-7   @witchymarvelspacecase     @lovemarvelousfics   @bellamouse16   @rockagurl     @ultrawholockedunicorn   @paranoiadestroyah   @allyp1023     @justmeinthisworldblr    @kgbrenner   @tequilavet    @white-chocolate-mocha-fan   @bridgetlemonade   @alyssaj23   @nerdyandexhausted   @lucifersnipnips   @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19   @poetsheart   @sherlockianonfire91   @bluebird214     @ingridsigne    @eggsy-unwinnn   @roobierubyroobieruby   @deanwinchestersrifle   @tgwltw   @teenagetragediesforeveryone     @sweet-honey15   @crazyblonde124     @itsemmyb  @lesmiserablememelovingfuck     @importanttimemachinenerd   @shortiiqt16   @xlatinaaxx   @zoom1374   @loki-god-of-my-life    @craeg333  

Dreaming of You: @deanwinchestersrifle  @thesandbeneathmytoes   @mlr17   @ladylannisterxo   @thinks--for-thanking-of-me    @ponycake27     @angelicstormz   @ingridsigne     @misspygmypie   @superwholockedbeauty   @canadianjelly    @milychetto   @marvelouslyme96    @egerton-sweetie   @spiicyari   @thepurplehairedmaniac  

[scary-pixie]

THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: A Non-Review

Friday Night, June the 1st, 2018: Viewing of the Feature Film

I sat down to watch this movie with a great sadness in my heart, as minutes earlier I had discovered that I was all out of extra-buttery popcorn. Only the butterless diet flavor remained to satisfy my appetite, the first two bags of which I burnt quite thoroughly. Alas! I watched the Special Edition DVD with a gold banner across the top, and was dismayed to discover that it did not feature English subtitles. This was a problem, as I generally would not even be able to hear seven wildebeests farting aggressively over the sound of the fan and my popcorn chewing. I often had to stop to rewind and replay some of the scenes where the characters spoke in a quieter tone.

AND NOW, AN ANNOUNCEMENT. It was at this point in my original written document that I started a proper review of the first half of the movie (I generally watch movies over two nights). I decided that my review would follow traditional guidelines (ie-making mention of the plot, characters, setting, etc), and be as deep and analytical as I could make it. Unfortunately, I was unhappy with my writing and in a fit of rage I deleted everything. Furthermore, I have a terrible confession to make: when I had my diet popcorn earlier, I melted a chunk of butter onto it, and once I was done eating the popcorn I licked the rest of the butter out from the bottom of the bag. Suffice to say, I felt like elephant shit at night and was unable to sleep. In my sleepless state at 2:38 am I began to think about why I struggle with writing movie reviews. Generally when I watch movies, my brain is turned way, way off. I don’t often spend much time critically analyzing things such as character motivation, potential plotholes, directing, and so on. Rather, my responses are generally along the line of “How did this movie make me feel? How can I relate to the characters? What other media or aspects of my own life did it remind me of?” and most importantly, “Were any of my men in this movie?”. That being said, I do wish to improve my film critiquing skills, so the next morning I decided to message my associate Drew B.S. Reynard aka B.S. Pegasus and invite him on a quest to find a proper text on film criticism at the local book-hole (spoiler: I was unsuccessful). Saturday, the 2nd of June, 2018: An Important Discussion Drew is a far better Analyzer and Critic of Films than I will likely ever be; a nitpicker of Grandmaster rank. We sat down at Sunset Grill to have some BF (breakfast, not “butt…something”) before hitting the book emporium, and our conversation turned to the topic of Buckaroo Banzai.

T (this is me): So was the main character supposed to be half-Japanese?

Drew: Yes, that’s what we’re led to believe.

T: Do you think it’s an issue that he was played by a white actor?

Drew: Not at the time the movie was made.

T: Who would you pick to play Buckaroo Banzai today?

Drew: Well, Steven Yeun (The Walking Dead) isn’t Japanese but I think he’d make a strong candidate. I have to think about this more.

T: What about the beautiful man in my facebook profile picture, Bob Morley (The 100)? He’s half Filipino.

Drew: You could go that way. The character should definitely be played by someone of Asian descent, or half-Asian, if there ever was a remake. Though it’s important to analyze films according to the time they were made, otherwise you’ll notice a lot of things that were alright then but are politically incorrect now. Buckaroo Banzai wouldn’t be the easiest film to remake anyway; it’s very much a pulp story along the lines of Doc Savage. The Blue Blaze Irregulars from the movie are another example of a very pulp-like characteristic specific to the time. 

T: I’m confused. What is pulp-specific about the Blue Blaze group?

Drew: Well, a lot of pulp characters had big supporting groups. Doc Savage and The Shadow each had their own team of dudes. Sherlock Holmes, though pre-pulp, is another example.

T: On a similar note, I thought the tone of Buckaroo Banzai reminded me a bit of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy…humorous sci-fi, though not nearly as British.

Drew: Yeah, it’s a silly movie, and not meant to be taken seriously. Pulp stories and comics were often directed towards a younger audience. Pacific Rim is good modern example.

My wonderful meal arrives at this point. Enough conversation for a while…it is time for an O.M.E.L.E.T.T.E.  B.R.E.A.K.

And afterwards, continuing on to the topic of the supporting actors….

T: So John Lithgow. I didn’t recognize him at first.

Drew: You don’t recognize John Lithgow? He was in Harry and the Hendersons, Third Rock from the Sun…

T: Oh shit yeah! No I know who he is, just didn’t recognize him in Buckaroo Banzai.

Drew: We also got Vincent Schiavelli, Clancy Brown…

….many names I don’t recognize!

T: And my husband Jeff Goldblum.

Drew: Yes. They were all very young, before they started to hit big. This was before Peter Weller became Robocop. The actor that played Professor Hikita, Robert Ito, he’s another long-time character actor.

T: I don’t think there was nearly enough of Jeff Goldblum in the first half of the movie.

Drew: Did you realize that was him in the operating room?

T: Yup! Will he show up more in the 2nd half?

Drew: Yes, yes he will. His role will increase.

I emit a silent squeeeeeeeee…!

T: Ok. I’m gonna shut up now with the questions and watch the second part tonight.

We get into some sort of discussion about the difficulty of properly critiquing film reviews, causing me to announce:

T: Maybe I should write fiction instead of movie reviews.

Drew smiles, in that particular way he smiles when he’s thinking “Ah Christ. Tina’s gonna start some bullshit again”.

Drew: An effective review shows both sides…who’s gonna like the movie, who’s not. Everything in a movie involves compromise between what the director thinks will sell, and what the audience wants to see.

T: I know you’re a master nitpicker. You never enjoy movies, cause you’re always ripping them apart. How did you learn to analyze movies?

Drew: I didn’t. I picked up this skill listening to George Carlin. I call him my guru: his humor came from analyzing things, breaking them down. Because of him, critical thinking in general bled into every part of my life. He’s not with us anymore, but we really need him. Like Jon Stewart said, the world’s gotta stop taking people from us that we really need.

T: I think I’m going to write erotic fiction.

Drew’s face slowly descends into his open palm.

[yeolkisses]

All the evens

Wkbpwbjpe Maddy you’re trying to kill me I swear (but thank you this kept me busy lol and it was fun to do)

2 - do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yessss I love it. Cold air is a blessing.

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

For coffee, I put a ton of creamer in. Tea is just a no for me.

6- do you keep plants?

Yes! A bonsai, a couple cacti, and an aloe vera.

8 - what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Does writing count??? I’m not very artistic 😅 but I consider myself a decent writer and poet. I feel like words are the easiest way to explain yourself so others can understand you better. It’s specific. Painting and drawing, etc. are also good too of course, I’m just not any good at them 😂 and I feel like they’re a bit more questionable. They have different meanings to people. But that’s what allows people to connect over them; seeing different viewpoints of the same thing. It kind of shows what type of person you are.

10 - do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

My side or my back. I can’t do stomach 😂 it’s just too uncomfortable for me.

12 - what’s your favorite planet?

Hm. I don’t really know. I guess Neptune or Uranus??? They’re pretty.

14 - if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

TBH I don’t even know who my best friend is anymore lately Well it would probably be a bit of a mess 😂 but messy in an organized way??? We’re pretty tidy people, at least when it comes to our rooms, but we (or I, at least) am still a little bit cluttery. I think it would look nice. Not necessarily modern, but just kind of homely.

16 - what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Spaghetti & meatballs OR chicken alfredo. Probably spaghetti and meatballs though.

18 - tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

God they just brought it up today. I swear I’m not as stupid as they make me seem though!!!!! So one time at lunch (like YEARS ago) they were talking about sports and I wasn’t really paying attention (because I’m not a sports person) and they asked me something and I think I said, “I’m not into baseball.” And of course with my luck they were talking about football. So :)))) There are always exaggerations about how I must think a homerun is in basketball, etc.

20 - what’s your favorite eye color?

I mean…it doesn’t really matter to me?? I don’t like thinking about eyes which you already know, so I’ve never really considered a favorite eye color. But I hateeeee the colored contacts people wear, especially when they wear two different colors (one of my friend’s ex-boyfriends used to wear one silver and one bright green one and it was hideous). Anyway, if I had to choose a color, I guess I’d say brown. It’s under-appreciated sometimes 🙂

22 - are you a morning person?

It fluctuates. Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not. Especially if the reason I’m waking up is to go to something I don’t want to do, then I am NOT a morning person at all.

24 - is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Honestly, probably not. I just really don’t trust people to keep their lips zipped or to not judge me.

26 - what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My oldest pair of shoes rn are probably the ones I’m wearing (or at least they look the oldest since I wear them pretty much daily). They’re black and white cheetah print converse, with cheetah eyes on the side. They’re super comfortable.

28 - sunrise or sunset?

Both are nice, but I like sunsets better. It’s the end of the day, time to rest, and it just looks cooler imo. More fiery.

30 - think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

In all honesty, I don’t think so. I get scared easily, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been truly terrified.

32 - tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Already done~

34 - tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Done~

36 - which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Oof I don’t know. American Authors maybe? I feel really happy and free rn.

38 - tell us about your pet peeves!

Oh boy. I could go on and on. One: the sound of people chewing. It’s awful but you can’t tell them it’s annoying because that’s rude but it makes me. Want. To. Hit. Someone. It is SO irritating. Another thing: my brother doesn’t flush the toilet :)))) and that drives me insane. Another one: people who spit on you when they talk. People in band who, rather than not playing on the parts they don’t know and working on them later, just play whatever they want and mess everyone up. People who don’t put things back where they found them. People who nitpick every little thing about something that someone else did. I could just keep going on.

40 - think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I’m just gonna choose the ring I wear all the time. I got it at the fair, it was only $12 😂 it doesn’t really hold much meaning, I just like having it so I can fidget with it when I’m nervous or something.

42 - do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I actually haven’t gotten to experience any coffee shops :/ just Starbucks lol. But once I’m on my own I think I’ll check more places out.

44 - when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I honestly don’t know. It’s been some time.

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m not good with punssss! I don’t know. I can’t think of anything.

48 - what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Hm I was afraid of a lot of things and I still am. I’d say pretty much the same things, more or less. Things that aren’t even closely real, things that my mind just comes up with. And now I’m actually scared of more things, I think. Realistic situations and whatnot.

50 - what’s an odd thing you collect?

I collect rocks, but I think that’s pretty normal, right?? I also collect piggy banks and hedgehog knick knacks.

52 - what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

God I don’t even know. I guess maybe the spongebob ones, the Patrick ones.

54 - who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Oh wow. Hm. I really don’t know. I really, truly, do not know.

56 - what are some things you find endearing in people?

Hmm…it differs from person to person I suppose. But I guess, like…the way people smile, the different ways people laugh when they’re truly laughing (even if they find it obnoxious it’s a part of them and it’s just kinda cute and funny), when a person who doesn’t usually dress up dresses up all fancy and gets all shy about it. I don’t know. Just little things I guess.

58 - who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Oof I don’t really know. I think Morgan would be the vodka aunt. But wine mom…I don’t know.

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Yessss I do. Hm, favorites…it depends on the mood I’m in, I suppose. When I was little though I really liked Shel Silverstein’s poems.

62 - do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Nopeeee I don’t really like juice 😕

64 - what color is the sky where you are right now?

Kind of a soft baby blue? Idk but it’s quite nice.

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Baby blue eyes and daisies, I think. Just blue flowers in general would be good enough for me 👍

68 - what’s winter like where you live?

Not cold enough!!!!!!!! Although this year it snowed more than I expected it to. Still, it’s not very cold and we don’t get much rain 😕

70 - have you ever used a ouija board?

No, and despite my belief that it’s absolute bull crap, I would never use one because I’m a wuss.

72 - are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

It depends, some things I remember and some things I don’t.

74 - describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Oof well I’ve pretty much mentioned all my IRL friends and they’re kinda predictable 😂 so I’ll choose an Internet friend. They’re extremely sweet, and do so, so much for other people, even when they’re already so busy with their own life. They’re always caring and genuine, and put others before themselves (even though I wish they wouldn’t sometimes). They’re super patient, which is good because sometimes I can be a bit slow 😂 and just so, so amazing and beautiful and talented and hardworking and they deserve to go far. I hope they’ll keep holding on strong and keep on fighting. And I hope they truly know how much I admire them. (Damn I kinda described all of my internet friends there?????? I had a specific one in mind though I swear)

76 - is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Yes 😂 homework

78 - are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I’m on the fence actually 😕 it’s not like I hate them with a burning passion or anything but I think they’re kinda milking it for all it’s worth at this point, which usually happens with movies.

80 - what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

3 white walls and a light bluish tealish wall (with a border of music notes in silver paint on the teal wall). I got to redecorate my room a couple years ago for my birthday and I love the color blue but I didn’t want something that would darken the room (although I keep my curtains mostly closed lol). The music notes were from a piece I played that year in the school band, it was my favorite.

82 - are/were you good in school?

I’m a procrastinator but I do get good grades 😁 I’ve never had an -A or lower. And I’m kind of a teacher’s pet 😂

84 - are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Definitely not. I don’t see the point in basically paying someone to stab you with a needle over and over again. If I did get one, I think it would be a clef heart or 아리엘.

86 - do you like concept albums? which ones?

I can’t really think of any specific ones (???? maybe I’m just being dumb ????) but I do like the idea of them.

88 - are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Ehhh, I’m not exactly an art buff, so idk what to say. I think that as long as it carries emotion and makes the viewer feel something or think of something, then it must be pretty good. The style doesn’t define what story it tells, it just helps set the mood.

90 - talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I haven’t really traveled so I’m gonna have to skip this 😶

92 - are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Honestly I prefer just butter on my pasta but if I’m putting on cheese then I’m going all the way.

94 - who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Well I mean idk if it counts since I know her online so I’ll go with the closest one that I know irl. My aunt just had her birthday, it was a couple days ago.

96 - do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I usually procrastinate them 😅 because it always asks me when I’m in the middle of doing something and I don’t wanna stop what I’m doing.

98 - when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I don’t remember…but probably not 😂

100 - if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The past. I’d like to do some things differently. Be a better person. Make myself become a better person and have better habits. The future can still be changed but my past is set in stone. Although, if I go 5 years back, I might not end up on this site, so overall I’d rather just stay in the present 😂

[empyrean-major]

Stray Kids, 끝나지 않을 이야기 .

“Hey babe, how was work?” Nicholas asked, sneaking a kiss to Hansel’s forehead as Hansel slipped out of his coat.

“Crazy. Frustrating.” Hansel groaned as he kicked off his sneakers. “I’m just glad it’s the weekend. I missed you.” When Nicholas tried to kiss Hansel on the lips, Hansel stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Wait, Nicho. I can literally feel a cold coming on.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Nicholas pouted when he ran into Hansel’s hand once more, settling for a side hug instead.

“That’s gross,” Hansel said, wrinkling his nose. “And plus, I feel like we just got over that stomach flu you brought home, and I’d really like to avoid a repeat of that again.”

“Aw, I’m sorry babe. How can I help you feel better?”

“Unless you can make my work schedule and cold disappear, and whisk me off to a sunny island somewhere, I don’t think there’s much that’ll make me feel better.” A cough cut you off, Nicholas instantly jumping back in surprise.

“What about a warm bath? And afterwards, we can eat some takeout or something.”

Narrowing his eyes, Hansel studied his boyfriend’s face, Nicholas’ smile much too innocent for Hansel’s liking. Hansel weren’t really a bath person, something that both of them were aware of. “You just want an excuse to get me naked.”

Nicholas shushed him, gently pushing him towards the restroom. He wouldn’t hear of Hansel helping out in any way, requesting that Hansel lie down while he got the bath ready. The sounds of him bustling around in the bathroom with the steady stream of running water in the background were enough to have Hansel drifting off to sleep. It was only when Nicholas gently shook him awake did he remember where he was and what was going on.

Hansel let Nicholas guide him towards the restroom, woodenly stepping out of Hansel’s clothes while Nicholas collected all of the pieces and threw them in the laundry basket.

“Okay, hop in babe.”

Hansel eyed the steaming tub of water, highly suspicious that he and Nicholas had two different definitions of what a “warm” bath was, but he trusted him anyways. Holding onto the edge, Hansel slipped one foot in, cringing as the rest of his body followed. “This bath is too damn hot.” He hissed as his elbows touched the surface of the water, quickly bringing them up and resting them on the edge of the tub.

“See, this is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

“Excuse me, I’m the whiny one here?” Hansel reached into the tub, grabbing a handful of water before splashing it onto Nicholas’s hair.

Nicholas screamed, backing away as he tried to shake the water out. “Okay, okay, I see your point.” He scowled as Hansel hid his smile behind his hand, his shoulders trembling with laughter.

“So what’s next on your list? Strawberries and champagne while you massage shampoo into my hair?”

“Hm, I’m not so sure about the first two, but I can definitely give you that massage.”

And so, for the next ten minutes the two of them sat in calm silence, the only sounds being that of tiny waves of water splashing against the sides of the tub every time Hansel moved around. He relaxed against the wall of the tub, facing away from Nicholas as he massaged Hansel’s neck and shoulders.

“Nicho?”

“Hm?” Nicholas’s fingers were brushing through the ends of Hansel’s hair, detangling the strands in the water.

“I’m sorry I’ve been all cranky this week.”

“Babe, it’s fine. I know you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately.” His fingers moved from Hansel’s hair to Hansel’s face, tracing lines across his features. One finger went down the slope of you nose, leaving a trail of water of in its wake.

“I know, but still. I really appreciate everything that you do for me. I love you.”

Nicholas smiled, bending down to kiss one cheek, and then the other. His grin grew wider as Hansel smiled up at him, Hansel face upside down from his position in the tub. “I love you too.”

“You know what would make this even better?”

Nicholas hummed curiously, hands pausing over Hansel’s shoulders.

“If you were in here with me.”

In a flash, Nicholas was standing up, shuffling out of his clothes and dropping them onto the floor.

“Wait, wait,” Hansel rushed to say, sitting upright. “We’re just taking a bath though, no funny business tonight.”

“Okay,” Nicholas replied without hesitation. “Scoot over,” he murmured, gasping as his skin hit the water. “Okay, so maybe the water is a little too hot,” he admitted meekly.

With a giggle, Hansel moved to the other edge of the tub, both of them sitting face-to-face, knees and legs bumping into each other in the middle. “When’s the last time we did this?” Hansel wondered.

“Took a bath together? Never, unless you’re thinking of someone else,” Nicholas added, one brow raised in confusion.

“No, I meant just spending time with no distractions, not even with the TV on in the background. When’s the last time we just took a break from the world and pretended like we were the only ones that existed?”

Nicholas slid further down in the water as he thought, his chin brushing against the surface and sending ripples across the surface. “I don’t know. Its been a while though, huh? I don’t think we’ve been this relaxed for a while.”

“How was work for you today?” Hansel nudged Nicholas’ toes with his own, giggling when he jolted up in surprise at the sensation.

“It was okay, I’ve had better days though.” Nicholas went into detail about a student who had walked into his lecture hall almost half an hour after the exam started and demanded that he let them take the test. “I mean, I would’ve understood if their car had broken down or their mom was in the hospital or something, but I had literally just seen them sitting outside a Starbucks with their friends before class started. These kids get more insane with each passing year,” he huffed out indignantly.

“I’m sorry.” Hansel reached out for Nicholas’ hand under the water, giving it a light squeeze as he consoled him. “It’s not fair that some of them try to take advantage of how kind you are.”

“It’s not. But hey, that’s part of the job I signed up for. Lots of papers to grade, exams to proctor, kids who think they know it all because they’re in college.”

Hansel motioned for Nicholas to turn around, moving closer and grabbing one of the shampoo bottles from the shower caddy. “I guess we both really needed this bath tonight,” Hansel said as he began massaging shampoo into Nicholas’ scalp.

Nicholas sighed happily, eyes closing as Hansel continued to wash his hair. “Thank you,” he mumbled sleepily. “We need to do this more often.”

“Mm, without the stressful work day though.”

Hansel finished washing Nicholas’s hair before letting Nicholas do the same to him. Both of them finished washing up, fingers pruny and bodies shivering from the water that had gradually started to cool down.

“Let me go order some takeout,” Hansel offered, a towel wrapped around his body and another around his hair while Nicholas was still drying off.

“Thai food?” he called out after him.

“Fine with me!”

Thankfully, the Thai place that they often frequented wasn’t too far away, and soon Hansel were merrily chewing down on his plate of pad Thai. Nicholas was equally enjoying his curry, taking a few pieces of shrimp from Hansel’s food whenever Hansel looked away.

“God, I’m in heaven,” he sighed, still chewing on food.

“Finish chewing.” Shaking his head, Hansel pushed Nicholas’ chin upwards, forcing his mouth closed. “Although I can’t say I disagree. That bath was a good idea, Nicho.”

“Well, I have been known to have some of those every once in a while.” He grinned as Hansel snorted in amusement.

“Alright, Mr. Funny Guy. Are you gonna let me finish my dinner or what?”

“Depends on what the other option is.”

“A good, long nap that ends up with both of us sleeping through the night until noon.”

Nicholas chuckled, shoulders shaking as he leaned forward to kiss Hansel on the nose. “Who am I to argue with that?”

It was easy to let the stress of the day linger over him, to nitpick every detail that Hansel wish he could have changed, something that he wish had gone differently. But here in the comfort of his home with the person his loved the most, it was just as easy to remember that it was just important to breathe and take things one step at a time.

Tomorrow would be a new day, after all.

[theboatbuilderswife]

 @miindofeli asked:  nano prompt: Jill & Helga with the twins.

verse: || au: 𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒  ( vampire academy ) word count: 1.703

It was actually really endearing to see the two little toddlers stumble into the shop behind their mother. And for a moment all Helga could do was leaning forward over the counter with a small grin on her lips waiting for them to reach her.

❝ Look at them- ❞  the blonde laughed, her chin resting in the palm of her hand as she cast her somewhat envious gaze up at Jill.  ❝ No stroller? They both really seem determined to keep walking today. ❞ Or well, for a few minutes at least. Behind her mother Kaitlynn already decided to give up on her little adventure as she moved herself to sit down on the floor, big eyes cast up.

❝ It’s outside, but they were both a little restless. ❞  Jill quickly explained, watching how Helga left her spot behind the counter to join them in front of it. The blonde dropped herself to her knees, smiling widely as she pulled Cameron close and kissed his cheek, trying to do the same with Kaitlynn even though the small girl was trying to push her away with her little arms swinging in front of her and the most adorable giggle leaving her mouth.

❝ Good- give me a moment to close the shop. All orders have already been shipped out for today, so I don’t expect anyone else to come in anymore at this hour, ❞  finishing her sentence with a soft groan Helga tried pushing herself back up, pulling a face when when her friend cast a teasing grin in her direction.

❝ It’s been busy okay, ❞  Helga exclaimed, moving to the back of the small flower shop to get her bag and lock the doors there.  ❝ which is a good thing, but still, they can not expect me to sit here twelve hours a day just to create every fucking single bouquet here in court for seven days a week. ❞

Jill cast a judging glance in her direction, to which Helga gave a small frown in return until she realized what she’d just said and her mouth was formed into a small  ❝ oh … ❞ , a quick apology following, not really having realized she had let her words slip and cursed in front of the twins.

Lifting Cameron up in her arms the blonde plucked a small flower to tuck it into the boy’s dark hair right behind his ear, receiving some protest in return, but a little magic was more than enough to silence him as she made it grow into a small flower crown.

❝ Little prince, ❞  she chuckled, following Jill outside before she turned off the lights and closed the door behind her, smiling as she looked up. It had been her dream to open up a shop ever since she was small. That she would have ended up with a little flower shop at court was probably not exactly what she had expected to happen, but she was proud of it and the steps she had dared to make the past few years nonetheless.

A lot had happened during the past few years. Perhaps it was good that things finally seemed to have calmed down a little again, at least for now.

After placing the little boy back into the stroller next to his sister Helga plucked her phone from her bag, quickly writing a small text to let Varga know she would be with Jill and that he could make himself something to eat, or join them later if he wanted to.

He always seemed a little too worried, even with them now living together in a modest home here at court; a place where personal Guardians were a little less necessary than than they were outside the gates. Still, he would always make sure she was okay, no matter where she was.

❝ Where do you want to go? Don’t they need to eat something? ❞  putting her phone back in her bag Helga joined Jill while trying to keep up with her friend pushing the stroller forwards, listening to the toddlers happily trying to communicate with each other.

❝ They ate before we decided to save you from work, ❞  Jill laughed, her words earning an actual grateful look from Helga in return.

❝ You really have no idea how tired I am. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t hire someone to help me, but it’s all so extremely expensive. ❞

❝ It might give you some free time, and you really don’t have to hire someone full-time, right? One or two days is perhaps all it takes for you to get things back on track again? ❞

The blonde sighed, but nodded, knowing her friend was right. It was something she was going to have to think over properly over the upcoming few weeks. With some of the important holidays around the corner it was probably a wise thing to consider some kind of help around. Magic was an amazing thing, but her powers were definitely not limitless.

❝ I should ask Lissa if she can do something to lower the rent or something, ❞  Helga concluded, her words accompanied by a soft chuckle.

They ended up at a small cafe, ordering a quick coffee, this time it being Kaitlynn Helga lifted up to sit on her knee, allowing the little girl to wrap her hand firmly around one of her fingers as she continued to babble.

❝ And If I would want to hire someone, where do I even look? I’d have to look for someone with earth magic like me, but they really have to have the same interest in flowers as me. You know how hard it is to sometimes watch people trying to do some gardening and completely ruin it just because they don’t have the feeling for it. ❞

Both she and Jill ended up chuckling softly when Kaitlynn seemed to want to mingle herself in the conversation by shrieking happily, pulling Helga’s finger as if she was trying to make some kind of statement.

❝ Perhaps have a few people who are interested come in and have them work for you for a few days unpaid, as if it is an internship and just choose after that? ❞  Jill suggested, still smiling widely as she caressed her daughter’s cheek the back of her fingers, only to have Cameron protesting in return; wanting his mother’s undivided attention this time.

❝ I guess that’s a good idea. Perhaps I can get some students as well, they’re usually more eager and willing than the old crows who walk around here, ❞  Helga whispered in response, having her dark eyes moving through the small place in hope that none of said ‘old crows’ sat close to overhear their conversation.

❝ I guess I just have to find someone with the same interests. Perhaps I should let them do a small assignment to see where their interests lie, and if it gets anything close to mine, or would I be too much of a nitpicker when I do that? ❞

Jill just laughed at her friend’s words, shaking her head in return.

❝ It’s your business, you can do with it whatever you want, you know that. As long as you try not to do anything stupid? Please? ❞

❝ When have I ever? ❞  Helga feigned a shocked gasp, taking little Kaitlynn’s hands, clapping them together in a gentle rhythm.  ❝ I’m not planning to, not at all, cross my heart. I’m serious when I say that I’m just going to get really busy in the next few months and I really don’t trust Var getting close to those flowers because for some reason he manages to let all plants at home die when I’m not there to save them. Heck, he even managed to make a small cactus die. ❞

Rolling her eyes the blonde tried to emphasize her words, making the situation look many times worse than it had been in reality.

Therefore it did not take long before the blonde sat there laughing again, having to free one of her hands to take her coffee and silence herself with the warm, bitter liquid; making sure the little girl could not reach it when she eagerly lifted her hands to grab the cup.

❝ No- I really enjoy doing all this, and I’m actually really happy business is booming. Even dad is proud of me, can you imagine? ❞

Helga smiled as she sat back, looking at her friend sitting in front of her who was happily coddling her son, totally having forgotten about her own coffee already as it seemed.

Oh yes, she had been very jealous of Jill when she came with the news that she was pregnant. If anyone deserved parenthood after everything they had been through it were she and Eddie, and they had ended up with two perfect little kids. Perhaps more than they had hoped for, but Helga had been extremely happy for them nonetheless.

And perhaps a little bit whiny towards Varga that same evening.

Could she imagine herself with a little family somewhere in the near future? Oh definitely. Even though it probably would take a lot of convincing, and perhaps she had to very carefully bring it up to her own parents because after all these years they still not seemed convinced of her relationship with her own Guardian.

❝ Hey, you’re lucky you know that. Not many can say they have achieved their childhood dream one way or another. It took you a while, but you’ve done it. That’s something you can really be proud of. Just talk to Varga for a bit about hiring a part-time employee? I’m sure he can give you a few tips? He knows you best after all, ❞  Jill said, looking up again after a little while.

❝ Yeah- about that … ❞

Jill cocked an eyebrow, shrugging her shoulders curiously when Helga seemed to hesitate giving her an answer.

❝ Well, there is another reason why I am considering hiring someone to help me out in the shop, ❞  Helga chuckled nervously, chewing her bottom lip for a moment, pulling Kaitlynn close.  ❝ You know- yes for Christmas and all that stuff because I know it will get busy, but it’s not only for that period, I’m actually thinking of hiring someone to help me out for a full year … ❞

❝ … I think I might be pregnant. ❞

[lysical]

21, 25

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

It depends how detached I am. Sometimes it’s like ‘wow let me get my red pen’ and other times I’ve forgotten everything and can experience it more like a reader and not nitpick so much. 

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Nightwing crouched down in front of the couch, smiling softly at Jason. He slid the glasses off and dropped them on the low table in front of the couch. "Hey there, little wing. Recognize me?"

Jason remained attached to Bizarro's side like a limpet, staring back at Nightwing with wide eyes, the same way he had when he'd first seen Artemis and Bizarro. After a minute of silence, he slowly nodded and gave a soft, hesitant, "Hi."

Smile turning to a proper grin, Nightwing held his arms out. "Can I get a hug?"

Jason chewed on his lip before nodding, extracting his arms from around Bizarro and reaching out to his older brother. Nightwing gathered him up into his arms and stood, clutching the little one close and face twisting again into something like grief. - Retrograde Motion, chapter two

It was the first thing I wrote for the story and I like it. 

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