#like if it happens. fucking funniest thing on goddamn earth

[raayllum]

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory - S1 to S5 edition

After the initial feeling of hopelessness that the journey had taken him far from the Banther Lodge, Callum realized his stepdad was writing to him about the rune cube Rayla had rescued. He’d always known that cube was important. Maybe now Rayla would start listening to him… and maybe now he could find out how he could use the mysterious cube.

Book Two Novelization

[goldeaglefire1]

excuse me for one moment. I need to expose all the non-Transformers fans to the name overlap between Beast Wars and G1 because some of these examples are so fucking funny

"what are you talking about" glad you asked! you see, all the way back in the 90s, Transformers was actually dangerously close to getting canned entirely because after Generation 1 - that being the original toyline and cartoon - Hasbro attempted to continue the success with what they called Generation 2, and it sold like ass. Beast Wars was the solution to that issue, and it worked! the toys sold exceptionally well, the cartoon was well-received, everyone lived happily-ever after

except. because Beast Wars was an effort to revive the franchise it was effectively treated as a soft reboot. it was not a reboot (keep that in mind for later) but the people naming the characters weren't afraid to use names that were already used for G1 characters. this makes things exceptionally funny in hindsight considering how wildly different these characters can be from the original Transformer with their name

now. come along with me. let's journey through these name overlaps together.

going in no particular order (well maybe SOME order because I'm saving the funniest bit for last), let's start off with Scorponok

now, Scorponok is a name that kinda got passed around like a blunt later on in the Transformers series, but we're just focusing on the Beast Wars and G1 versions since that's the important comparison here. so! In Beast Wars, Scorponok is more or less your basic evil goon. guy who goes "you got it boss!" and then fucks it up immediately in comedic fashion. classic. so what did the original Scorponok do exactly?

well, you see, G1 Scorponok was the rival to Fortress goddamn Maximus. If you don't know who that is - which, honestly, is probably most of you - that is the Transformer who, and I cannot emphasize this enough, turns into an entire city. There are several of those fuckers but Fort Max is like. the OG guy who turns into a city. and G1 Scorponok was meant to be his rival.

so, I have to say, dear god can you imagine the amount of pressure that's on BW Scorponok. imagine sharing a name with the guy who regularly fistfought an actual fucking city. insane.

moving on, Silverbolt!

In Beast Wars, Silverbolt is a guy who turns into a wolf-eagle hybrid ("what-" toyline gimmick don't worry about it) who acts like a chivalrous knight with very clear cut black and white views - which, considering his teammates include Rattrap, the guy who gleefully uses every dirty trick in the book to pull ahead of the stronger, tougher Predacons, and [[REDACTED]], who defected from the Predacons but is still perfectly willing to use their methods from time to time, makes for. interesting conversations! anyway, G1 Silverbolt is the guy in charge of the Aerialbots, those guys being a combiner team who forms Superion, who is. The first big Autobot combiner I'm fairly sure? I don't actually know anything about G1 Silverbolt besides that I apologize to all the Aerialbot fans

speaking of guys who were named after combiner components! Rampage!

hooooooo BOY does Beast Wars Rampage make a fucking impression. result of a Maximal experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong, before the entire plot of the show happened he was given to out main cast of do-gooders with the explicit instructions of "please just dump him on a rock in space somewhere where he can't kill people or eat people or BOTH because we can't fucking kill him and we want him very far away from us." unfortunately, the plot happens, and Rampage breaks loose, causing everyone involved to have a very bad day, only punctuated when Megatron manages to get him nominally on the side of the Predacons by cutting his heart in half and putting said half in a cage he could squeeze as a sort of "leash."

this is the basics, by the way. I haven't even gotten into the whole ass guy who comes to prehistoric Earth specifically to kill Rampage. like. my god. there really isn't anything G1 Rampage can do to compare to whatever the fuck BW Rampage has going on aside from being part of Predaking. or possibly some IDW thing I'm not aware of

moving on from all that, Inferno!

now you might have noticed that up until now that, while the designs and personalities between the Beast Wars characters and the G1 characters can be drastically different, the Beast Wars characters tend to be on the equivalent of whatever faction the G1 character was on - i.e. Maximals for Autobots, Predacons for Decepticons. and then with Inferno, the G1 guy is a fire truck, clearly heroic, while the Beast Wars guy is...some sort of horrific ant man. so, what's going on there?

well, you see, in Beast Wars, Inferno is a Predacon who, due to a glitch in his programming, actually thinks he's an ant, and sees the Predacons as his colony (this also results in him she/her-ing Megatron on a regular basis by referring to him as "my Queen." this isn't relevant to anything I just thought you should know). this means he tends to charge in with zero regard for his safety because. y'know. ant mentality. meanwhile, G1 Inferno...well I know nothing about him, but, according to the wiki page, he apparently also does this, not because of the ant thing, but because he's just like that. Honestly, good for him

now, before we get to the funniest example, I would like to make an honorable mention to Megatron, the only guy with an actual reason for the name overlap

see, remember what I said about Beast Wars still taking place in the G1 continuity? Beast Wars Megatron is the first time that really comes into play because what I haven't mentioned before now is that for most of these guys, the names being the same as a G1 character is purely a coincidence because they were Protoforms at the start of the series - those being effectively blank slates/baby equivalents for Transformers - and started their lives on Earth, meaning the references to previous Transformers are purely coincidental. even homicidal crab man cannibal Rampage only got a proper name on Earth, being called "Protoform X" before then. sole exception to this rule is Scorponok, who was part of the Predacons from the start...and Megatron

"so is he the same guy as G1 Megatron? you said it's the same continuity as G1 so he's the same right" that's the fun part! he isn't! he very much is not G1 Megatron, he just looked at the OG and went "you know what. I want to do what you did. godspeed" and then he named himself after that guy. coincidentally, Megatron is also the name of a figure in the Convenant of Primus, AKA the Transformers equivalent of the Bible, which was completely made up for the Beast Wars cartoon and I'm convinced was introduced solely so they could say "hey our villain named himself after his religion's equivalent of the antichrist. and also may or may not be that antichrist due to time travel shenanigans" ("when did time travel get involved-" don't worry about it)

now, onto the funniest name overlap of all

mr. [[REDACTED]] himself

Dinobot

now, to be clear, Dinobot is one of the most popular characters to come out of the Beast Wars franchise. He's well known for his gradual change from "technically a good guy mostly because he hates Megatron's ass, he has a code of honor, and nothing else" to "honorable hero with one of the most heartbreaking death scenes in all of Transformers" over the course of his screentime, and is in fact so popular that he was the third Beast Wars character to get a Masterpiece figure - Masterpiece figures being incredibly complex Transformers figures that boast show accuracy in both forms and typically have the price range of a small kidney - with the first two being Cheetor and Optimus Primal. If you didn't get the implications of that, that means Dinobot managed to beat out Beast Wars Megatron for getting a Masterpiece toy first. MEGATRON. Again, might be a different guy from G1, but he is a Megatron! Still the main villain of the damn show! Says a lot that Dinobot was popular enough to get a toy first. I could go on, but I need to get back to the point - what's so funny about the name overlap here?

well. if you're even tangentially familiar with transformers, you might actually be able to guess this one!

no, seriously! this isn't a "geologists overestimating how much their audience knows about geology" moment, because if nothing else, the leader of these guys ("these guys?" shhhhhhh) is one of the most popular Transformers out there. if I may be so bold, I'd argue that after Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, and Starscream, the leader's name is like. one of the first Transformers characters who comes to mind. if nothing else I imagine you've seen a picture of this guy at some point

...

alright, ready to see if you were right?

3, 2, 1...

eeeeeeyup, the name overlap is with an entire subgroup of Autobots, and not only that, but one of the most popular subgroups of Autobots, led by one of the most popular Transformers of all time: Grimlock

and like. the Dinobots don't really have the whole "gradual redemption" "tragic hero" thing going on but they do have the ability to tickle the five year old within everyone's brain because their characters can be summarized as "caveman robots who turn into robot dinosaurs" and if that didn't cause said five year old in your brain to go "holy shit" you are actively lying to yourself. so it's very understandable why they're popular.

the funny part is that because Dinobot shares a name with the Dinobots, the latter of whom are more popular and will get priotity, every Transformers writer since Beast Wars has effectively been locked out of making their own version of Dinobot, and I imagine there has been at least one guy cursing out whoever decided to give the bot who would be Dinobot a name that overlaps so heavily with other popular characters. the most he's shown up outside of the original cartoon is in the War for Cybertron cartoon (which. I'll be honest I've heard very little about and haven't watched myself but what I have heard is "it's bad" so that hasn't been encouraging) and the IDW comics. and that's it. while any sane person would count those as their own continuities, by Hasbro's logic they're the same universe as G1, so like. if we go by Habsro logic he hasn't even shown up anywhere beyond G1. which is insane given how popular he is - again, see "third Beast Wars character to get a Masterpiece, beating the local Megatron," and did I mention that one time he won the Transformers Hall of Fame in Botcon 2010 purely by fan vote. because he did do that. I guarantee you that the only reason Dinobot has not shown up more is because of that name overlap. The group of Dinobots may be more popular but I have to imagine there's at least one guy at Hasbro fuming over not being able to make money off of Dinobot (the character) toys outside of shit like the Legacy toyline

and like, while I do wish Dinobot would show up more, the thought of that is extremely funny

[fenrhi]

I am now FREE to ramble on and on about the newest episode, so without further ado.....

-Ok so obviously Akutarou is a horrible person and all, but I did feel a little pity for him in this episode, because his anguish at having lost his connection with Ichiya was very well portrayed. Later in the episode, he's even wandering in the streets like a hobo, having also lost his authority as "Emperor" so we can say karma hit him good

The desperation with which he pulled the trigger really got to me....

-Amidst this breakup arc, there was one unintentionally funny moment:

You're telling me Ichiya thinks Matakara has MORE darkness in his heart than *gestures at whatever the fuck is going with Akutarou*? He could have just said "Yeah sorry I prefer cheerful puppybois"....

-Really concerned about this line adsdghkllj like just how many dudes did Ichiya make a contract with

-No no Senya you don't understand, this is probably one of the best things Arajin has done so far. And it does take courage to tell a friend as delusional as Matakara "Stop worshipping the ground I walk on! I'm a piece of shit!"

-Zabu and Komao are the best friends Matakara could ask for.... searching everywhere for him....always worried about him (;--;)

-Funniest duo in this show

-Boys will be boys

-When I saw this weirdass Ken Doll version of Marito, I thought "you know, this show is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen"

-I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HES DEAD I AM LOOKING AWAY

- I'm aware that the "shadow" is metaphorical, a symbol of Matakara's fear and weakness, but my monkey brain is always like "if a creepy shadow monster started following me I too would like to throw hands"

"The girl you are romantically pursuing doesn't want a carved stone (symbol of love) but your male childhood friend would love to receive one" subtext is dead part 2

-YAAAS QUEEN GO STRAIGHT FOR THE JUGULAR

-Babies IchiSen..... Peace And Love On Planet Earth

-Why couldn't you break up like normal people why did you have to get everyone else involved

-No more pics coz of Tunglr Limit, so I'm ending this post by saying I'm very excited to see the chaos Akutarou's actions will unleash next week

[rottenpunkandmadeofweasels]

kind of losing my shit rn and have a million things to say about this wonderful episode and the gang involved

thank you Beth may for the complex feelings running through Scary that are still drowning in denial and the incredibly slow breakage of her emotional walls. Even after Terry's death the struggle of admitting all her feelings about it is some beautiful characterization. The layers upon layers of subtle character work is like an emotional artichoke where each piece you let us peel back and examine is building a more and more intense pile of complicated and earth shattering feelings. you have not shown us all your cards even in this devastating time and once or if you do the payoff might just kill me.

thank you Matt Arnold for the comedic and heartbreaking choices you brought to this episode. The consistency you bring to Link and his loyalty was like a punch to the gut this episode. With fucking everything that happened with Taylor to his declaration of never wanting to see his dad again while breaking the anchor is god I can't even. He loves so strong and will stand by their side but he recognizes the foundation of his and Grant's relationship has crumbled and his Dad is not who he thought he was. Ending with the anchor breaking character choice made me litterally shout OH FUCK and I don't want it any other way. You know your fucking character.

Thank you Freddie Wong for being one of the funniest people ever. Today was not Taylor's big emotions episode and that's absolutely ok because it was immediately filled with one of the funniest bits ever. I have really strong reactions to things so when the gay foot mecha orb thing happened I fell to the floor shout screaming. Out of anyone on this goddamn podcast I think you have made me fall to the floor more times then anyone else. fucking comedic genius with a genius character.

Thank you Will Campos just thank you for Normal in his entirety. Normal flipping his shit this episode made me excited beyond belief and there are a million things I could say about Normal that I have already shouted at several people about regularly because he makes me nuts I love him and how you perform him. His conversation with Scary at the end made me sick it was so fucking good. So little was said but all of it was so loud. Love him more than anything.

Fucking Anthony Burch. Thank you Anthony. my god. What can I say about this guy that I haven't already said to every person I know and my online creative writing course. No writer or actor or anything has made me get up from my fucking seat and SCREAM. He has made me cry, laugh, pace around my kitchen like a caged animal like no other. He's my greatest inspiration and my worst enemy. this fucking guy reawakened my love for writing like no other piece of media has. Your worldbuilding, characters, choices, improv makes me flip my lid. I love Sparrow and Grant and Nicky and Dead Terry and Everyone in this fucking episode I fucking can't. As a twin I need to be fucking devasted by Lark and Sparrow in this next episode they make me so sick.

just a huge fucking rant that doesn't encapsulate all my feelings but a mini and not really ode to this podcast that I needed to get out while I was still fresh and emotional.

[egg-emperor]

Obsessed with how people like to theorize that Eggman was genuinely considering changing his ways and becoming good because of his reflection on his grandfather in the SA2 ending, yet the unused lines prove it wasn't the intention at all. Instead he was just thinking about his next evil scheme in true classic Eggman fashion. He's so funny hehe that's my boy!! 🥰

They probably just didn't keep them in because it didn't suit the tone of this great scene and I get it. But with these unused lines, we get to know what he was actually thinking and his real conclusion after this and I fucking LOVE it lol 💜 Nothing gets in the way of Eggman's dreams and his motivation for it. Nothing! He's so passionate about his goal and loves being evil, this wouldn't break his spirit!

Also funny to me when people act like Eggman cares and has empathy for the people on the planet and if they get destroyed too and that it's why he had that reflection and considered that he should change his ways, so he doesn't hurt people like that. But like no lol he killed people and threatened to kill more using the cannon himself in this game and his speech doesn't imply sudden regret or care.

It makes sense that he asked "did he really mean to destroy us" because very literally everyone including himself would've died if it had gone to plan but in reality he only cares about himself. He wasn't really thinking or caring about their lives being lost like his own. And it obviously makes sense for him to be disappointed that his idol and grandfather was really just gonna get him killed like that.

As always, the Advance 2 manual, that released a year after SA2, knows what's up he's without a thought or care for anybody else but himself.

And also since then, he's continued to cause mass destruction on a global scale many times, not caring about how much damage he does to the world or who gets killed as a result of his actions and he often intends for it.

All that matters to him is his own safety and the world he wants to rule still existing so that he can actually rule it. Besides that, he'll cause as much destruction and death as it takes to get what he wants and won't give a single shit about anything or anyone else XD

He's still as destructive and murderous as ever, if not even more over time as this plans only get even bigger, crazier, and more diabolical.

The funniest thing about people thinking that Eggman became better or toned it down after his moment in SA2 is that he later basically did his own equivalent to the Eclipse Cannon in a game in Unleashed, firing his own goddamn super chaos emerald powered laser cannon and literally breaking the planet apart to release Dark Gaia and he fucking loved it!!!

He practically did the exact same thing as Gerald planned to with the Eclipse cannon by having an earth destroying cannon fuck up the planet but just without destroying it entirely so it can actually exist for him to rule! Because no doubt that thousands absolutely died when this happened. The only difference is that he gets to live and the planet still gets to exist for him to rule.

Plus the Sonic Channel story (part 1, part 2) written by Eitaro Toyoda also had Eggman literally taking control of the Eclipse Cannon itself again and trying to fire it at the world to destroy an entire city and kill everyone in it LOL. He's more than happy to do exactly what Gerald wanted to do in killing people with it, only he still wants the world to exist to take over after and get to live of course. They're the only reasons he really helped to stop it when Gerald tried to do it.

So yeah, Sega/Sonic Team don't consider Eggman to have changed or toned down his evil at all, he still wants to cause global destruction and kill people. That was never a factor of his reflection in SA2 and the unused lines alone prove it. The theory that he isn't as evil as the Adventure games because it shifted his perspective and made him consider changing his ways is funny. Especially because he actually isn't less evil at all, y'all just aren't paying attention to him and how his evil plots and actions are still as evil as ever. :P

I love his passion for his interests and his dreams, I love his determination to always keep trying to reach his goals, I love how he'll never give up, I love how confident and certain and set in his ways he is. Those are his greatest strengths and the way he never sways because nothing or nobody could ever kill that spirit is so much better and cooler than him having insecurity or doubt or not enjoying what he does. It gives this evil bastard some admirable charisma 💖

[piko-power]

This sucks.

First animators and the animation industry, and now this.

The writers and the writing community are getting pushed aside all for some phoney baloney next generation of mankind.

The animators and animation were treated like a joke for so long all because some Oscar winning bitches thought it was for kids, even though it really isn't. It's for everyone. And it's been like that since literally forever.

Hell, even some movies and shows made for a younger audience like My Little Pony have huge praise, love and support from human beings of all ages.

Don't pretend shows like Futurama, Primal, Bob's Burgers, Inside Job, ect. don't exist because their animated. If done right, an animated show for adults can be outstanding. Sadly, there are some that are kind of try-hards (Swearing and sexual jokes every ten seconds or whatever) that is just becomes a mediocre, or worse, terrible show, that it might just prove someone's dumbass theory that animation is for kids and kids only.

Again, not fucking true.

My two favorite animated shows, both targeted at different audiences, are DuckTales and Futurama. I love their characters, the stories, the comedy, the drama, the music, but I especially love the animation.

DuckTales may have been made for a TV-Y7 audience, but the people who worked on it made it for anyone to enjoy, wether it's kids, adults, or fans of the original DuckTales show. It was made for ANYONE.

Just like every other "kids" show, anyone is allowed to enjoy it and scream their heads off over the coolest and craziest thing they ever seen on Gravity Falls or cry tears of joy when Luz and Amity are together in The Owl House.

Also, animators are fucking awesome and talented and even though it is hard work, it's what they love doing and it's what brings our favorite shows and movies to life.

Every day I think about any movie or show that has 3D animation, 2D animation, stop-motion, ect. and just go "Damn, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life." Even though it was only, like, five seconds of animation of Sonic blinking and smiling.

Animation and animators deserve lots of support and love every day because of these great shows and movies.

But do you know who else made these shows and movies happen? Another group of talented humans that made them to begin with? That no media can live without?

Writers.

If you're gonna make something come to life in the wonderful world of animation, you gotta write and story.

Figure out the characters and what should happen in the third act.

Keep track of the story as the show goes on and write down the funniest one-liners Dewey had ever said.

You can't have literally any animated media without writers. No. Not just animated media. EVERY. SINGLE. MOVIE, OR, OR VIDEO GAME, THAT HAS EVER EXISTED.

These guys? Right here? Mean the whole world to me.

Even if it's fanfic writers, they are so goddamn amazing.

They are responsible for your favorite franchises. I can tell you right now that the world would be gone to shit without writers.

I write stories as well and let me tell you, it's also hard work, but dammnit I love it.

Writers and the writing community are one of a kind and they are extremely important. And just like animators, they are talented and love what they do.

But despite all of that, H*llywood has other ideas.

Ideas that should never light up even the cheapest of light bulbs.

Mother. Fucking. AI.

AI, also known as Artificial Intelligence (Doubt they have any tho) are the scum of the earth. For some time it was used for art, writing and even used for cartoon voices.

By the way, that's fucking theft.

There are literally real human beings who can draw for you, write for you, voice act for you, (By the way voice actors are also my whole world and I would be nothing without them) but you'd rather choose AI to do all of that for you??

I AM APPALLED.

Why would we even use AI at all when human beings, with a mouth, a brain and hands are RIGHT HERE?!?!

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S QUICK AND EASY THAT IS THEFT AND YOU KNOW IT!

YOU ARE TAKING AWAY A HUMAN'S TALENT'S OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE JUST FOR A STUPID ROBOT!

AND REPLACING REAL ARISTS AND WRITERS AND ACTORS TOO!

Also, some AI voice memes (Sonic btw) almost got an voice actor in trouble for something THEY HAVE NEVER SAID. Yeah. A robot almost got someone in trouble. That is really bad.

AI art and writing and theft and straight up plagiarism. And AI voices are theft as well. Imagine using an AI voice of someone who passed?

Do you know how fucking awful that sounds??

Yet today, people are still using this trash and worst of all, Hollywood is in on it too.

That is absolutely insulting and hateful towards artists and writers of all kinds.

I thought we were done treating talented humans with a heart like shit.

I thought we were done.

I thought we were fucking done.

I am tired of amazing artists and writers, especially writers, being pushed to the ground and being replaced with AI. I wish artists and writers don't have to suffer like this. They deserve better.

They deserve so much love right now.

These awesome people have no right to be treated like this. They are people too. They have feelings, and you are hurting them. Saying your using AI to write is literally saying that the writers are useless and you don't need them anymore.

You made them believe that.

That's why their on fucking strike.

Writers want justice. Writers want goddamn justice and you're not giving them that, all because you think AI is the short cut.

You can't even do anything now that their on strike, but the worst part? I have a feeling you're gonna keep using it anyway after this is all over.

Is that right? Do you still wanna be a piece of shit to these real talented creators, after all these messages we kept shoving down your throats?

I know I sound harsh but sometimes raising my voice is the only way for you to listen. But I know damn well your gonna keep ignoring me, ignoring us, so we're gonna raise our voices higher.

I wish AI never existed so that way these wonderful artists, animators, writers and voice actors would never be forgotten. I don't want them to be forgotten.

I mean it when I say they changed my life.

When I was a kid, I watched all of the bonus material from the movies I've seen. All of the movies. Something about watching all these behind the scene footages from artists and actor just makes me so happy.

All these people made all of our favorite movies and shows, even though it took them a long time to make, but they were having a blast making them. They wanted to make something special for the audiences, and they never stopped.

Especially when I watch interviews and I just have this fuzzy feeling that working on a movie or show in any role is such an amazing feeling. It inspires me to write to begin with.

I love hearing people's thoughts on the media they worked on and how it made them feel to see audiences loving the thing they were involved in. Makes me emotional every time.

In fact, there's one person who I absolutely adored for a few years and loved his works from beginning to end.

His name is Ben Schwartz.

Not only he's an actor but he's also a writer. He is so funny and sweet and just an amazing person. He is incredible and talented and always got that smile on his face.

He's the spirit of optimism in my opinion. He inspired me the most. To keep going.

And also? He's on strike too!

He is a writer so of course he's on strike and I am forever proud of him.

I am also proud of everyone who is on strike right now.

To the animators, writers and actors everywhere: Never stop fighting.

Even when the strike is over, for the love of God don't stop fighting.

You guys are kicking ass right now and you are making your voice heard, loud and proud.

I am so, so proud of all of you!

You deserve all the support, respect and love for the rest of your life for what you are doing!

Never stop doing what you love and keep going!

You got this!

To all the writers, animators and voice actors out there fighting for their voice: You are not alone and we love you!

✊NEVER STOP FIGHTING!! ✊

[britcision]

Oh yes I do

This is how the batfam learn that Jason’s birth certificate was actually filed about a day late

They have a plan for his 18th just in case, gotta make sure there won’t be a vigilante reveal and in this world?? People know to the minute when they’re born just in case

Like setting up surprises in case you’re the younger soulmate HAS to be a huge thing

So Jason reluctantly goes along with their plans, it’s just for five minutes and he knows it’ll be nothing cuz no one’s gonna be matched with someone like him, and then they can forget about it and it’s just the constant existential dread of being the older

And then the day before, while Jason’s hanging out with Alfred and cooking because if he fucking has to do this tomorrow he deserves bonding time and Alfred knows how scared Jason actually is of this moment

The switch happens

They’re making fucking soufflés

Danny panic-freezes while Alfred is conveniently in the pantry and tries to play it off when Alfred comes back because he’s fucking dead and 21 he literally did not expect to EVER have a soulmate

But also yeah, his soulmate’s body is fucking spicy and full of ecto gone so so so wrong and who is this what’s happening why is the Signal’s helmet on the dining room table???

(Because Duke doesn’t put his shit away Danny next question)

And Alfred notices something up… but Jason’s been stiff and awkward and off kilter all fucking week anyway because the idea of intimacy goddamn terrifies him

So he speaks to Danny/Jason softly and reassuringly, telling him it’ll be alright, they’ll get through tomorrow together and whatever happens Jason will always have a home and a family and oh now Danny’s crying because he’s not felt that in sooooo long and Who The Fuck has dared make his soulmate this certain he can never be loved

Also what the fuck does this man mean tomorrow Danny’s had his 18th and this shit NEVER comes early maybe this is a ghost thing instead???

But Alfred’s giving him just the best hug for someone half his size and guides Danny through the rest of the cook and takes the soufflé out and Danny can’t fucking believe he was involved in making something this good

And how long does the switch last? Because on the one hand, it would be The Literal Funniest Thing On Earth if it’s like an hour and Danny’s just barely getting past his emotional meltdown and about to explain what happened to Alfred and POP NOPE JASON IS BACK

Cuz what’s Jason been doing this whole time? Why, Jason popped into Danny in the middle of a rogue fight! Congratulations Jason your soulmate has super powers including flight and you better figure out how that fucking works ASAP

He’s fighting Johnny and Kitty because Of Course He Is and Kitty IMMEDIATELY clocks what’s been going on because Jason plummets and she squeals and Johnny has to fucking book it so they can catch and rescue Jason

Jason, who popped in just as Danny’s ectoblasting Shadow, tenses like FUCK when he’s on the motorbike with these two fucked up looking kids who MUST be bad they were fighting he’s gotta find a way to fight in this body that makes no sense

But Kitty’s already gushing about how wonderful it is to meet Danny’s soulmate, none of them knew if he could even have one since he’s half dead, don’t worry that wasn’t a serious fight, they were just playing but of course they can’t keep doing that with his soulmate around, and does Jason want them to note anything down for when their Babypop comes back?

And Jason? Jason kinda reluctantly has to believe it because there’s not a trace of violence even when he decks Johnny to try and get off the bike

And he has fucking QUESTIONS about this “half dead” shit (which he will take the answers with a grain of salt and double check later) because how the hell did he wind up with a matching murdered soulmate???

Kitty loses her shit at this revelation, Johnny cries cuz it’s the most romantic thing he’s heard since he and Kitty died in each others’ arms an hour before his 18th and the first thing they did as ghosts was be in the wrong fucking ghost body and boy was that confusing

So Jason’s busted instantly and spends their hour being told everything Johnny and Kitty know about Phantom (whether that includes his human name or not is up to you), and then having flying lessons and teaching him about his ghost powers cuz Phantom never asks but Jason’s curious as shit

He’s having a wonderful time and about half way through remembers what his body was doing and hesitantly asks if Phantom can fucking cook

Johnny and Kitty have no fucking clue but they all have a good stress-giggle about poor Danny having to deal with Jason’s hypercomplex stress baking, but Alfred was there it’ll be fine

And Danny doesn’t even get fucking clocked although Alfred has his suspicions when “Jason” breaks down in tears but Like Fuck will he accept that boy crying

And then suddenly Jason’s back from his fun cool superhero adventure feeling actually a lot better about this soulmate stuff cuz his soulmate is fucked up too and also Johnny and Kitty know about the Lazarus Pit, this is his best birthday ever

And he’s in Alfred’s arms, tears drying on his face and y’know what an okay soufflé on the table in front of him and he does feel a little bad but his first words were

“Hey Alfie I think my birth certificate was wrong”

And Alfred just sighs but doesn’t let go and asks if he knows the name of his other half because that person also sorely needs a hug right now and they should get going

And Jason may need the Bat computer real quick to connect Danny Phantom to Danny Fenton but then they’re off (maybe not telling anyone if the bats have annoyed Alfred a lot lately, he just tells Bruce something has come up and he’s taking Jason to find his soulmate and leaves them fucking panicking, not least because Alfred Left Who Will Feed Us)

(Maybe Jason begs Alfred and only Alfred to come with him because he’s the only one Jason fully trusts not to try and adopt his goddamn soulmate and be moral support and Alfred Will Never turn down his boys when they beg)

And Danny pops back in mid dive with Johnny and freaks the fuck out because he forgot to tell the old guy anything or ask what Jason’s last name was and there’s no fucking way the Signal helmet helps because Signal is fucking Black and “Jason” wasn’t

Johnny cackles maniacally and tells Danny they’ll spill the beans on his soulmate if he can catch them and zooms away, Kitty laughing but also berating him for being mean but she’s also not stopping him or helping because it’s funny

So Danny goes from cries and hugs and the best thing he’s ever tasted to fucking chasing down Johnny and Kitty and it’s bullshit but he wins and asks what the fuck happened and they give him the full story

And oh what a fun coincidence Danny has chased them half way to Gotham and Jason’s probably on his way and Danny freaks because Jason will be going to Amity Fucking Park You Assholes and probably doesn’t have a flying motorbike

Which

Oops

Johnny and Kitty also give him a ride home cuz yea that shoulda been thought of

I've been reading sad prompts again and need some happy:

Soulmate AU Jason/Danny

In this universe, on the youngest soulmates 18th birthday, the two people swap bodies for an amount of time. I think typically in this type of soulmate story, it's supposed to happen when they're asleep (they wake up in the other's body), but the chaos of it happening when they're awake/in the middle of something is too funny. Maybe they switch at the exact minute the youngest was born?

Anyway, imagine:

Danny is suddenly in the body of tall muscular beefcake Jason and Jason is in the body of is-this-a-child-? Danny (short twink king Danny).

1) They switch when Jason is in the middle of family dinner at Wayne Manor.

2) They switch when Red Hood is in the middle of kicking the shit outta someone.

3) They switch during Danny's daily ghost battle. (Danny was flying when they switch, so Jason immediately falls 50 ft to the ground)

4) [Angst] They switch while the Fentons are in the middle of vivisecting Danny.

5) They switch while Danny was in the Ghost Zone and Jason is very stressed about being in some sort of Lazarus realm.

6) The switch while the Batfam is in the middle of fighting Joker. Danny throws Jason's gun in the Joker's face and then just starts pummeling him. Danny does NOT like clowns and this one's clearly an asshole.

7) They switch while Jason's in the middle of making dinner and Danny does NOT know how to cook.

8) Jason is the younger and the Batfam decides to try to look as normal as possible, so they set up a birthday party for Jason. When they switch Danny has a moment of 'Oh fuck no' because his soulmate is rich.

9) Jason is younger and Danny is very concerned about how shitty his apartment is. Were those gunshots?!

[suns-up-bunshine]

So yeah, I had just finished my junior year of high school and I immediately had to go do this shit bc all four of my wisdom teeth were sideways and needed to come out ASAP. Fast forward to the actual surgery, they told me to wear tennis shoes, which I thought was odd. Anyway they take me back and they just. Have me in a normal ass dentist chair thing. At this point I've had no drugs btw. One lady comes back there, so it's just me and her, and I'm like "haha yeah I'm anxious" and she goes "oh okay do u want laughing gas" and then my fucking dumb ass asks "will it cost my parents extra?" Like I'm asking for a goddamned cookie in a school cafeteria. And she's like "uhh no wtf" and I was like "okay then yea sure" so some more people come in and they put this big bulky plastic mask thing over my mouth and nose, which also happened to block my view of the arm they were putting the IV in (genius engineering there, that was actually so smart) and then they're like "you might feel tingly" and then my hands and feet definitely felt tingly and I also heard my heart rate slow down on the monitor even though I didn't feel any less anxious. Then the one guy put the anesthesia in my IV and was like "you'll prolly start to feel a bit woozy" and then I said "woah, I sure do feel a bit woozy" and then I time traveled and suddenly I was sitting upright and looking directly at my mom and just kept fucking laughing hysterically like she was the funniest bitch to walk the earth. She was like "what's so funny" and then I just looked at her again and went "HEHEHEHEHGHUGUGUGU" After that I just kept laughing and talking about how numb my face was and my mom tried to spoon feed me a chocolate shake but I could not get it in my mouth despite her literally doing it for me. Oh yeah also the shoes were just so that you had shoes on that you could walk in easily so you don't fall when you leave

wow anon thats

thats fucking wild laughing gas sounds insane

*little shop of horrors flashbacks*

[delos-mio]

First Thing To Go - THE BEFORE

First thing to go was the sound of his voice...

The Before

The condo was dead silent- a knife with a jagged blade cutting through your very existence. But you hadn’t found it in yourself to play anything. Not the tv, not a movie. In fact, the record you’d loved so much and used to dance around to, smiling like everything was good, practicing for your first dance as husband and wife, lied broken on the floor. It was just another casualty of the night before. 

Damian had been very calm when he told you it was over. His face was stone and if he was hurting deep down inside, his eyes gave nothing away. It was just a fucking transaction for him. You knew he could be cold- you’d experienced that plenty- but you never knew he could be so cruel. All he said was that he was sorry as he left you crying on the couch, the first piece of furniture you’d purchased together. No tears, no kiss goodbye, not even a sigh. Then it was just silence. Echoing, never ending silence.

Once you’d regained your breath and managed to dry your eyes enough to see again, you quickly texted your mother and your maid of honor, letting them know there would be no need to show up to the rehearsal dinner tomorrow as there was no longer going to be a wedding. Before either of them could get a single question out, you’d turned off your phone, tossing it somewhere in the bed. You hadn’t stepped foot into the bedroom, much less slept in the bed you used to share, since that night either. 

Everything you looked at was a stinging reminder of the life you were supposed to share together. The life you’d already started to build. The condo was outfitted with art and furniture and media you’d picked out together. Shit, even some of the gifts off your registry had already shown up to the condo. He was woven into every fucking surface, into every fiber and space of the home you once shared together. It was really starting to make you sick. 

With rage turning in your stomach, making you ill and angry, you looked around for anything Damian might have left behind. First thing was that stupid record. The one with the song that would have been your first dance as husband and wife. You went over and tore it off the shelf. You ripped it from the sleeve and promptly lifted your knee and cracked it over the top without a second thought. From there, it was an Easter egg hunt- finding and destroying, finding and destroying. By the end of your rampage, you were in full blown hysterics, the tears seemingly never ending. That night, you fell asleep on the floor, exhausted and broken. 

It had now been a full 24 hours since Damian left his key on the counter and shut the door behind him. Tomorrow, you were supposed to become Mrs. Langford. What a difference a day makes. 

You were zoning out in front of the TV, not even registering what was on the screen, when there was a knock on the door. Your heart immediately leapt into your throat. Maybe Damian realized what a fucking asshole he was and came crawling back to beg for your forgiveness. It was a tall order, but you couldn’t help but get your hopes up just a little as you sat up. But then there was relentless pounding on the door and a muffled shout from the voice you knew belonged to your maid of honor. It was only a matter of time before she came to hunt you down, really.

“If you don’t open this door in 3 fucking seconds,” Kendra hollered as you slid the deadbolt and looked her in the eye. “Christ…” she mumbled to herself, her dark eyes turning soft and sad. “Baby.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, moving aside so she could come in. The place was a mess, you knew that, you just couldn’t be bothered to clean up. What was the point anymore? Kendra followed you to the couch and took a pillow in her lap, tugging at a tasseled end as she clearly tried to think of how best to approach you.

“How...Why…” Kendra took a breath to regroup. “What the hell happened?”

You let out a sad chuckle and idly spun the engagement ring still on your finger for some reason. “I don’t know. I don’t know when or how it started.” That much was true. Damian had given you only need-to-know information the other night. “I came home from work and went to go change into sweats or whatever and when I opened the closet, all his shit was gone. Then I went to the bathroom and all his stuff was out of there too. So I’m kinda freaking out at that point because Dame’s not home and like, everything is gone. He didn’t say anything about staying elsewhere before the...” You took a steadying breath. “I tried to call him and kept getting the machine. Probably on like the 10th try, I heard him come in.”

“It’s ok,” Kendra said, placing a comforting hand on your knee.

“He comes in and says ‘oh, I forgot to leave my key’ like that just explains everything!” Your voice steadily rose. “So I’m like, what the fuck where were you? Where is all your shit? And Dame looks me dead in the eye and says ‘I can’t marry you Saturday. There’s someone else. I’m sorry.” Six goddamn years and he gives me three stupid, little sentences.” Your voice broke and finally a few stray tears fell from your eyes. 

“Someone...someone else? Who!” Kendra shouted. “I swear to fucking god I’m going to cut his fucking balls out,” she added under her breath.

“I don’t know, Ken. He managed to leave that part out,” you said with a sad laugh. “He just...it’s like I never even mattered. I mean, did he ever even want me?”

Kendra was on her knees in an instant, kneeling in front of you and taking your face between her hands. “You matter so much. You are the kindest, funniest, hottest girl I know and I hope Damian fucking Langford chokes,” she said fiercely. “I’m so sorry babe,” she cooed and thumbed away your tears. 

“I don’t understand what I did wrong,” you whispered. 

“This is on him, not you. You understand that, right?”

“I mean, yeah, but…”

“No. No ‘but’. He’s a fucking piece of shit and there’s nothing in heaven or hell that could change that, ok?” Kendra moved to sit next to you. It felt good to have someone in your corner. Maybe you shouldn’t have turned off your phone so fast. “So after his bitch ass left, you destroyed what was left of his stuff?” she asked, surveying the rest of the condo. 

“Something like that,” you chuckled before sniffling. “God, what am I supposed to do?”

Kendra rubbed your back as she pondered the question in silence. She let out a little excited gasp and shook your shoulder. “We should go on your honeymoon!”

“What now?”

“You guys already paid for it, right?” You nodded. “So why don’t we get on that plane on Sunday, go hang out in a nice ass suite in Hawaii for two weeks, and charge everything to his card!”

“I don’t know, Ken,” you said. “I feel kinda weird about going, you know? I don’t know if I can stomach it.”

“Babe, you deserve it,” Kendra said, punctuating every word. “The money is spent, gone, goodbye! So if we don’t go, it’ll just sit there gathering dust when we could be drinking pina coladas and watching surfers and fucking...I don’t know! Getting massages!” Kendra took your hand in hers and squeezed. “There’s no one on earth that deserves a vacation more than you do right now.”

You sat with the idea for a moment. Kendra made a good point, after all. But could you really find it in you to sit on a plane for 12 hours, stewing over the fact that you should be flying with Damian, basking in the afterglow of a perfect wedding? The other option was to stay in Chicago and sulk in your condo still alone and still miserable.

“Ok,” you finally whispered, nodding your head. Kendra let out a breath and finally really smiled at you.

“I’m so fucking proud of you.” She kissed your temple. “Let’s get you in the shower, ‘cause clearly you haven’t even thought about one since...then. And then we’ll pack and get in bed.”

You were so grateful she came over. At least someone was keeping it together.

---

Sunday morning came and you’d made it with plenty of time to the flight out of O’Hare. Now, Kendra had her head on your shoulder, snoring only loud enough for you to hear. You had hoped you’d be able to pass out on the plane, but your brain wouldn’t quiet for long enough to let you drift off. Instead, you were stuck looking out over the Pacific, stuck on how it should have been Damian pressed up to you. But he wasn’t. Nor would he ever be again. Now all you could do was hope that the hotel would have a tray of drinks waiting for you when you arrived.

[anthonycrowleymoved]

i recognize that like, because of the plot this would have been impossible, but tma could have been the funniest goddamned podcast on earth if they just made jon as oblivious to the supernatural in the show overall as they did in season 1. like, imagine that. fucking imagine. the ENTIRE show Obviously Supernatural things are happening and jon is like Clearly There Is A Logical Explanation for this. michael shows up and he’s like dude you really need to get your hands checked out that’s not normal. he starts getting cravings for statements and he’s like huh that’s weird i think i need a vacation work’s really getting to me. it would be like buzzfeed unsolved if buzzfeed unsolved took place in a hell world where ghosts were obviously real and also shane was unwittingly a cryptid. it’d be fucking hilarious.

[c-c-cherry]

I simply must ask... could you spare some spooky Halloween headcanons? I know it’s not quite Halloween yet but I’d love to see your spin on a jojo Halloween!

Oho....hohoho...you have no idea what kind of a beast you’ve awakened in me...

Halloween is arguably the best holiday ever because free candy, costumes, and the weather is fucking PERFECT. (also idk what’s up with the rest of y’all but Canadian thanksgiving is in the middle of October so I’m still riding the high of good thanksgiving food by the time its Halloween (AND I’m half-American so we celebrate it in November too hehehe)

But long story short I love spooky season (and autumn in general) with a burning passion and I am SO willing to go hard on jjba spooky headcanons

Thanks again to @jjadegreen for alway being my best headcanon bud!!

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Part One:

-For the sake of this, I’m making them like 13 or something, like maybe not even a year after they met

-In 19th century England, it was actually pretty typical for them to have a bonfire on Halloween!!

-Halloween costumes were popularized a few centuries ago in France so you bet our phantom blood buds were wearing costumes and shit :)

-I doubt the rich participated in such “unruly” stuff like lighting shit on fire and bearing torches and whatever (but you never know)

-Like George probably spoiled Jonathan with candy as a kid and let him dress up with his school friends and that was it lol

-Dio though OH MY GOD-

-You know based on where he grew up that all that wild shit definitely happened

-He can’t say that he misses living like that, but there’s some kind of weird nostalgia that comes with it

-...which is why Jonathan is really confused when he catches Dio sneaking out of the mansion in the middle of the night

-Begrudgingly, he tells Jojo his plan and this boy’s eyes LIGHT UP

-Instead of being a “stupid, crybaby, tattletale,” as Dio puts it, Jojo is like,,,super hyped

-“Oh! I have an idea! Why don’t we sneak out in costumes so no-one knows it’s us??”

-The sheets on their beds may have two holes in them now, but it's worth it

-They hijack a horse or some shit and skeet over to a giant bonfire

-Dio thinks it's gonna be a drag since Jonathan is there to watch his every move, but it's actually,,,really fun

-As a kid who’s barely ever left his sheltered property, Jonathan is having the time of his life and Dio never thought he would be happy to see Jonathan so happy

-It ends with the two of them sitting by the river, absolutely exhausted from the rush and Jonathan pulls out this bag of shit from his pocket and is like

-“It’s candy!! :D”

-Dio could never really afford things like sweets on Halloween growing up so he’s a bit touchy about it but OH MY GOD that shit is GOOD

-Probably one of the only times where they actually bond properly

-BUT IF THIS IS MY POCKET DIMENSION THEN I CAN SAY THAT THEY BECOME FRIENDS >:)

Part Two:

-I’m just gonna start out with the fact that Joseph is fucking OBSESSED with candy. You know those kids you knew growing up that loved it more than anything on this goddamn earth? *cough cough @jjadegreen*

-That is Joseph

-And now that he consumes that type of shit with the power of mastered Hamon at his fingertips,,,holy shit man,,,it's like a child’s sugar rush but 100x worse

-Caeasr is put in charge of Jojo to make sure he doesn’t do anything idiotic *which he definitely will trust me*

-The MOMENT he goes to the bathroom, Suzi pops in like “JOJO!!!! :) Let's go trick or treating!!!”

-He can’t say no to that, bro,,,he and Suzi are tight ;-;

-While Lisa Lisa is out to meet Speedwagon and Erina and bring them back over to where everyone else is, Joseph sneaks out with Suzi and the two of them dash off into the streets of New York

Caesar: *steps out of bathroom*

“Jojo, what the hell do you and Suzi want for dinner?”

*silence*

“...Jojo?”

*Hears the screams of of children in the distance*

“JOJO, NO—”

-So turns out Joseph’s way of trick-or-treating at such an old age is just terrorizing young children and ransacking them for candy

-Suzi Q is just totally unphased by how awful this is and just thinks its the funniest shit

-Caesar is running out into the streets of New York like ???? and spots Joseph being himself and he could probably just pretend he doesn’t know them

-But,,,Joseph may be an idiot but he’s his idiot and Suzi Q is his bimbo best friend so he goes out to drag them back home

-Erina, Lisa Lisa, and Speedwagon are already home by the time they get back and Caesar sits Joseph down and chews him out in front of everyone

-Erina is super pissed and lectures him about “Joestar values” or whatever and tells a really embarrassing story about how a kid took his candy once when he was little and he cried about it for DAYS

-Caesar is still really angry about it so he replaces all of Joseph’s gummies with sugar free ones (you goddamn know the ones I’m talking about) but he didn’t know Joseph WOULD EAT THEM ALL AT ONCE

-He is so fucking sick on November 1st

-Also off-topic but Lisa Lisa gives out dental floss or some shit on halloween

Part Three:

-Honestly all Jotaro wants to do is buy candy for himself, hole himself up in his room like he always does, and just munch and watch shitty horror movies 

-But of course he has actual friends now

-Kakyoin tackles him before he can get his ass upstairs and suggests that they go out and trick-or-treat

-To which Jotaro thinks is a joke and laughs because he’s not only 17, but also 6’5” but Kak’s face looks dead serious

-Kakyoin goes on this long, detailed ramble about how he meticulously made the best Halloween route for them to get the best candy

-Now THIS is when Polnareff abandons whatever he and Avdol are doing to join in on the stupid plan they have

-When Kakyoin comes back with a handful of white sheets, they already know what he’s thinking and its brilliant

Kakyoin’s 5-step, foolproof Halloween plan:

Step one: It’s already established that stands can hold non-stand items (like when Star Plat whipped Iggy across the desert) so what’s stopping them from being able to have sheets over their heads?

Step two: They faze a bit of their stands into the ground so that they at least resemble the height of children (plus non-stand users can’t see anything besides the sheets so it's perfect)

Step three: Polnareff pretends to be the father of these shy children who can’t speak (he looks the oldest) while Jotaro and Kakyoin hide nearby so their stands don’t de-summon

Step four: Hit up every good house in the neighbourhood

Step Five: Candy.

(Kak used to put a sheet over hierophant all the time as a kid and always got twice the amount of candy each year)

-It actually works pretty well, aside from the fact that Star would sometimes scream “ORA” in a really deep, manly, not seven years old at all voice whenever the people at the door would try to speak with him or make him say ‘trick-or-treat’

-They finally reach the richest house in the neighbourhood, where the snootiest lady lives (but she has a shit ton of candy leftover every year since no one goes there)

-Once the stands knock on the door, she starts saying stuff like “ohh, let me see your faces so I make sure you aren’t too old for this” and ducks under to look at the sheets…

-...Only to find that there’s literally nothing there

-She looks up at Polnareff like 👁👄👁 and Kakyoin seems to get the message because one of hierophant’s tentacles grabs her ankle and she SCREAMS and throws her entire candy stash at them, slamming the door behind her

-Half of them are full-sizes chocolate bars. Candy acquired.

-When they get back, Joseph is so fucking angry that they didn’t invite him out for Halloween shenanigans  >:(

-Avdol and Holy have a very nice chat, meanwhile. They answer the door while everyone's gone and are so sweet to the kids about their costumes :)

-Also Avdol is 100% the kind of person to bake pumpkin seeds and season them and shit

-Kakyoin sorts all his candy and puts it on a spreadsheet and also make a pie chart just like he does every year

-T’was a very successful halloween

Part Five:

-Giorno is probably short enough to go out if he really wanted to

-But he has maturity issues and there would be no way in hell that the Bucci Gang would catch him going out in a costume and begging for candy

-So as soon as all the daily tasks and shit are met Giorno locks himself in his room

-He honestly wants some candy and to watch spooky movies with the gang but he just feels like an outsider to all of that stuff since he never did it

-So Bruno slips a thing of dracula-themed chocolate pudding under his door and leaves him be :)

-Narancia and Mista DO go out, however

-Not only do they go out and steal shit, but they also go and hit up houses for candy just for the fun of it

-The moment the clock strikes 6 Trish is OUT of there

-Girl is hitting up as many parties as she possibly can and eventually meets up with Nara and Mista at some shitty Halloween party and end up just buying really shitty beer and going to the graveyard or something

-Fugo wants none of that shit

-He’s perfectly content sitting with the black cat that Giorno made him and watching shitty reruns of whatever’s on

-Bruno takes out his tacky Halloween apron that definitely looks something like this

-Fugo helps him make all this really good spooky-themed dessert shit and helps him sort the candy in the nut and nut-free bowls :))) (because Bruno really goes and does that)

-Abbacchio seems like the kind of person who would go really fucking hard with Halloween decorations

-Like, no explanation why, he just loves it and everyone knows not to get in his way

-The moment October 1st comes around, this man is in his ELEMENT. He’s READY.

-It’s the one month where he looks anywhere near normal compared to other people and man is ready to rock that shit

-Later that night they go to check on Giorno and find him asleep surrounded by bags of candy

-Turns out he snuck out and had a good time after all :’)

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You’re wondering why I skipped part 4, right? ↓ ↓ 

I’m sorry to disappoint y’all, but I don’t think I’m gonna be doing much for Whumptober this year! (I’m just shit at monthly challenges in general lmao) but I think y’all need a breather from all this giant dump of whumpy stuff coming this month, so I, your dear friend Cherry, have decided to write fics throughout the month that I dub SOFT HALLOWEEN :D  (with uhhh a side of whump and hurt/comfort and all that shit because I can’t help myself)

It’s gonna vary (hopefully from parts 1-5)! I didn’t add any part four headcanons in here because Jade and I are literally writing part 4 shenanigans first and we didn’t wanna spoil anything :)

SPEAKING OF SPOILERS here’s a horrifying, blurry, teaser picture that’s only gonna make sense once you read the fic:

Isn’t it beautiful?

Hope you enjoyed these!! Tell me what you want the Jojos to do on Halloween!

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Ok so apparently its not normal to sort your candy by type, count it all out and then put it into a spreadsheet which then gets made into a graph? Because I did that. EVERY. FUCKING. YEAR. Ask Jade​. She was there every goddamn time. Please I’m begging you someone else tell me you did shit like this I need to know

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[lost-in-zembla]

Disco Elysium or: How I learned to Stop Wallowing and Love the Game

I will now review a videogame. No real spoilers. Just very vague descriptions below.

My writing this is uncharacteristic of me. I find most writing surrounding the video game industry to be repugnant. The industry (including the media surrounding that industry) relies upon the subsumption of subcultures on the fringe into the very center of the infernal machine where the dedicated and nostalgic nature of its fanbase can be exploited for capital. It’s the same process that produces Iron Man Funko Pops. Call me a jaded and pretentious pseudointellectual poseur, but in the case of Marvel the idea that this fucking billion dollar franchise with the biggest actors in the world somehow retains this guise of this ‘geek’ subculture is disturbing to me.

(If you have played the game Disco Elysium, then you can probably already see part of why I enjoy it so goddamn much.)

I don’t mean we should gatekeep. My point is the media attached to these quote-geek-unquote industries wants to milk the same cash cow (e.g. 10 AWESOME THINGS IN THE LAST OF US 2!) Coming from an academic environment of criticism, I crave at least the appearance of an honest and thorough critique of art. In my experience, you really need to go past the surface to find any reliable ‘takes’ on contemporary videogames. That being said, there’s a lot of good work being done in the form of video essays.

In any case, I play videogames relatively often. Competitive shooters, mostly. But I suffer no story in videogames. Why would I? I read the most *genius* pieces of literature in the English language. I’m too *good* for that. So when I heard all the buzz about Disco Elysium last fall, it fell on deaf ears. Detectives? Disco? Isometry? Story-heavy. Ugh. I’m interested in none of that. But about a week ago, a friend of mine bought the game. Unlike me, he is a real adult with a real job so it was just a whim on his part, I believe. I looked at the game and, with Steam’s lax refund policy in mind, I bought it. In the past week I have put approximately thirty hours into this game. This review is a way for me to explore my own thoughts surrounding the game, thoughts that I didn’t include in my steam review (See below.)

So it was devastating, sure. And this devastation was somehow positive. One thing that I would like to make clear about me talking about this game is that it is fucking useless. Disco Elysium possesses that quality that exists in all great art; it is irreducible. When I try to explain this game to my friends, I find that my words fail to describe what’s so great about the game. Let me give you the elevator review I’ve come up with. *This game has allowed me to explore the breadth of human experience*. It’s an absolutely insane thing to say about a game. The writing, the art style, the story, the world, the RPG gameplay, they all work together to create a kind of experience that I have never encountered in a piece of art before aside from those few, fleeting moments when you feel as though you truly *get* an encyclopedic novel you’re reading (and in my case I usually don’t get it.)

I will not delve too deeply into the mechanics of the game. There are probably plenty of articles and videos that describe the game already. Put simply, the game is about choices. You can choose to solve the murder however you want. You can say absolutely batshit things to people. You can say mildly bemusing things. You can speak apocalyptic prophesies, espouse communism, conservatism, Moralism. race science.. There are moments when you genuinely *feel* like you can say anything, which is quite a feat when you really only have a few dialogue options at any given moment.

As you’ve noticed, this is not a review of the videogame. Playing this game after a tough breakup was sort of earth-shattering. I mean, not only am I navigating through a strange virtual world with its own history and culture and cosmological makeup, I’m diegetically grieving over being left by my *divinely* beautiful ex while I, the player, undergo a similar process and find similar coping mechanisms. Playing this game was like knowing the funniest clown in the world, a clown so funny that you thank him when he occasionally punches you in the chest to make you *feel things*.

The plan wasn’t to make a character whose qualities reflected my own. I just wanted to play the game. I wanted to win. It just so happened that because *I* was the one playing the game, the character essentially turned into me. It doesn’t help that I, too, have had my issues with alcohol, drugs, commitment, and mental health (in no particular order). The character ended up becoming *me* in a way that I’d never experienced before. I faced ethical dilemmas. My ideology was shaken. This game achieves unbelievable mimesis.

Here’s the wild thing: this game has changed me. I feel like a thirteen-year-old white boy who just watched The Boondock Saints and got a pretty okay over-the-pants handjob at the same time. I’m thinking about my life in terms of choices. The game enforces a kind of perspective of the world that highlights its contingency and the permanence of choices. You can, of course, save your progress in the game and reload whenever, but I found myself just sort of riding out the bad choices I made unless they were game-ruiningly catastrophic. (E.g. I had a “thought” equipped that made me fail every unrepeatable *red* check during a pivotal firefight; it was a hilarious disaster. We were essentially mowed down.) I stood by most of my bad choices. After all, I made the choice using the information I had at the time.

I am not good at this game. I absolutely bungled the investigation. I was just a pawn for forces far greater than myself. Seven people died, and I know that I could’ve saved a few of those people, if not all of them. I think about it sometimes. I think about what I could have done, how I could have gone deeper to find out what’s *really* going on, how I could take control of the investigation rather than be taken control of. Maybe I’ll play the game through again, but the first playthrough is kind of magical if you know absolutely nothing about the game like I did. If not for an absolute deus ex machina at the end, I would have been taken to the madhouse. It would have been an unbelievable failure.

During that deus ex machina moment, by the way, a goddamn tear rolled down my cheek. Yeah, I’m in a rough place, personally. But I don’t *cry* over characters in art. They’re not real. But damn if that changed.  I tell you it’s changed *me*. I care more for characters. I know they’re not real but they represent something that I can relate to, no matter who they are. This game has made me think about empathy more. Maybe it’s because I dumped all my points in the emotional skills. Maybe I’d be more violent if I rolled with the physical skills. Maybe I’d feel like a superstar if that’s what I chose to pursue in the game. Disco Elysium feels open-ended enough that if you sign up for the story, the aesthetic, and the investigation itself, then you can get whatever you want out of the experience. The game, again, achieves incredible mimesis.

The mimesis is so convincing in Disco Elysium that it feels as open-ended as reality, with one caveat: you *know* it's a game. You, as a player, know that the experience of Disco Elysium is a designed one, that it was created as a sort of origami structure, that there is narrative and, god help us, *meaning*. What this game-knowledge afforded me during my playthrough was the constant sensation of synchronicity. I found myself saying “I don’t know how this element will fold into the grand structure of the game, and it almost seems impossible that it should become part of the investigation narrative.” But because I know it’s a game, I am graced with the confidence of the highly religious. Everything will come together in the end.

This is not a review for a videogame. This is a confession. I am deeply flawed and I want to change that. My worldview has been shaken because of a videogame. I don’t want to be that kind of animal anymore.

I’m trying to empower myself, to become more aware that my choices do indeed matter, have always mattered. I’m trying to be more pragmatic, to consider the things I want to do in terms of their result rather than the momentary pleasure I will derive from doing them. Now *that’s* a change for me. 

I’m trying to be more empathetic, more willing to imagine the perspectives of others. 

I am trying to give the world around me the benefit of the doubt. It is easy for me to think of the world as a random coincidence of matter, but if you look at the world with totality in mind everything seems to take on this Spinozan glow of divinity. The human mind is a meaning-making machine, I think. If I look at the world as fundamentally devoid of meaning, then that is still meaning. It is nihil-ism. It’s still an -ism. But if I ascribe to the world a kind of glowing potential, as though meaning were to be found in every speck of matter, then I feel invited to participate in this massive dance that we’re all a part of. 

I’m trying to be more adventurous, because beneath the surface of things there seems to be a vast network of relationships, causation, possibility and, god help me, *story*. Or maybe it’s not beneath the surface of things, maybe there is no Deleuzian schizophrenic depth beneath the surface, perhaps the world is a homogenous and ever-developing surface upon which I constellate meaning and, thereby, create it. I’m trying to create a story for myself that will hold a candle to my experience playing Disco Elysium. I didn’t ask for this; it was just what I needed. It was, in a word, unforgettable.

[narika-a]

Stray Kids Mafia Reaction: When they see someone flirting with their girlfriend

||| Requested by anon |||

Bang Chan

“What’s going on here?” he asked, approaching you when he saw you were getting surrounded by a bunch of idiots.

“It’s none of your business, get out of here!” one of the guys said, pushing Chan away with more force than he expected. He ended up hitting a nearby stool almost tumbling backwards.

You gasped and ran up to him to check if he’s okay but he just smirked, stretching his head and stood up. Now they done it.

“It’s my business, if it’s my girl you’re talking to,” he said, giving you his jacket. He rolled up his sleeves and then you knew he was serious. He could easily scare them away with his men or by simply using his gun but if he intends to fight himself, you knew there will be no holding back.

“Chan,” you put your hands on his chest in attempt to stop the upcoming blood bath. “Leave those assholes alone, they are not worth it.”

“Nah baby,” he said, kissing your forehead and stepping in front of you. “Not this time. I gotta show them what happens when they flirt with the wrong girl.”

Read the rest of the boys under the cut ⬇️

Kim Woojin

Despite this line of work he was always pretty calm and collected in stressful situations, however it was a different case when it came to you.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked, coming it between you and some guys, throwing his arm around your shoulder, smiling at them as if he’s about to wipe them off the face of the earth. Whenever he got like this, even you found his scary, so you were happy you weren’t the one receiving this smile.

One of the guy’s opened his mouth to say something but closed it just as quickly recognizing who Woojin is.

“This is my club, you know?” he casually stated and then looked at you. “And she’s mine... So if you don’t feel like having an unfortunate accident today, I suggest you leave this place in the next 5 seconds.”

But he didn’t need to count to that as the guys were already scramming for the exit, scared for their life.

Lee Know/Lee Minho

You tapped your fingers on the table as you shunned another guy away, who was offering to buy you a drink. However, this one was persistent, not believing in your ‘my boyfriend is just late and will be here any minute’excuse.

“Come on, don’t be like that sweetie,” he said, sitting down near you anyway. “You don’t want to make me angry, do you? You wouldn’t want to see what would happen if you did...”

“Oh? Is that so?” you both turned around and you beamed upon seeing Minho behind you. “You know,” he told the guy while unbuttoning his jacket. “You wouldn’t want to see me angry either,” he said, taking his gun out from it’s holster and pointing it at the guy.

“Hey dude, it was just a joke, a joke!” the guy started laughing nervously.

“I don’t take jokes, that concern my baby, too well,” he smiled at the guy, clicking off the safety. “So let me tell you how it’s gonna be.”

Seo Changbin

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he just went to answer one quick call and when he came back, some guy was practically all over you already.

“I’m sorry, who the fuck are you?” he asked, not wasting any time and approaching you immediately. 

“I could ask you the same thing!” the guy retorted.

“That’s my boyfriend!” you said, grabbing onto Changbin’s arm, hoping this way the guy will finally get the hint. Changbin didn’t want to start a scene in a public place, as he knows how you hate when he does but it seems that his deadly presence was enough to get the guy to leave.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t leave you alone for one goddamn second, as somebody tries to steal you as soon as I do,” he said, pulling you closer, clearly annoyed.

“You know you don’t need to worry as you have already stolen my heart,” you said, making him chuckle at your cheesy phrase.

Hwang Hyunjin

You got into a fight with him and by the time you cried out all your tears, you were a little bit tipsy, okay maybe not a little bit, maybe that’s why this guy seemed really friendly and you couldn’t help but flirt back with him.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Hyunjin asked you when he finally found you.

You just looked at him for a few seconds and then turned around, focusing back on the guy you were talking to, still angry about the fight from before.

“Ignoring me won’t make this better,” he said but you successfully ignored him again and his patience ran out.

“I hate when you do this to me,” he said pulling you up from the coach, the guy was about to protest but Hyunjin just whipped his gun out, pointing him to sit down before turning back to you. “I’m taking you home. I think you had enough fun for today.”

Han Jisung

“Jisung, are you listening?” one of the dealers asked him but he didn’t hear him as he was too concentrated on you. He didn’t like what he was seeing, not one bit.

“Excuse me for a second,” he said, leaving the men alone and approaching you. “What’s so funny baby?” he asked, once he was close enough, eyeing the guy in front of him up and down.

“Jisung!” you wrapped your arms around his neck. “This guy just told me the funniest story,” you giggled.

“Is that so?” he asked, hugging you back, making sure to show the guy that you’re his. “But does he know who he’s talking to? He doesn’t want to get in trouble, now does he?”

Lee Felix

He wrapped his arms around your waist, interrupting your conversation.

“Don’t scare me like that!” you said, smacking him playfully. He didn’t say anything, just nuzzled his face in your neck, pecking it gently. “Felix, not in public! That tickles!” you giggled.

He lifted his head, still holding onto you tightly, sending death glares in the guy’s direction. Well if he didn’t before, now he definitely knows that you’re taken and without letting you say your goodbyes, led you away from him.

“You know how I feel about seeing you with other guys,” he whispered in your ear, once you two were alone. “Don’t do that again baby.”

Kim Seungmin

“Haha, that’s a good one!” he fake laughed, getting into the conversation. He wasn’t the jealous type but somehow he just couldn’t stand seeing any other guy making you giggle like this.

He didn’t want to make it obvious though as then you tease him about it to no end, so he just casually took your hand and without saying anything, walked out of the room with you.

“How about we get out of here, huh?” he asked you. “This party is getting boring anyways.”

“But didn’t you came here to make some deals?” you asked concerned.

“Eh, it’s fine, the others will take care of it, I just want you by my side right now...”

I.N/Yang Jeongin

He was observing the situation from afar and the sight before him just confirmed his concerns of never wanting to take you to business dinners like this. But you were stubborn and persistent and he just couldn’t resist you.

He was talking to some other people when your eyes met his in the crowded. He could tell by your gaze that you were looking for him and as soon as he saw a way older guy trying to make a move on you, he realized what it is. 

His blood was boiling but he had to stay calm. He waved at you to come to him, wanting nothing but to hold you and at the same time called his men to take care of the guy.

“No one talks to my girl like this and get to live...”

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 307: The One With Shindou

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks (and Jeanist too, although he didn’t really do anything, but BY GOD, WHAT IS UP WITH HIS NECK) held a press conference and were all, “everything you’ve heard is true, so we would just like to say, from the bottom of our hearts... our bad.” U.A. opened its doors to the public as an evacuation shelter. Deku and All Might told basically EVERYBODY about OFA, which is absolutely wild, and yet somehow we hardly paid any attention to this at all. Mostly because the chapter ended with Deku being all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD, THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN” and peacing out of U.A. to embark on a solo journey of angst. So this is either gonna be the best or the worst thing that ever happened to this series, so TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH IT IS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so who do you guys want to see next? Deku? Bakugou?? Well how about SHINDOU?” Shindou is all “hi :) I’m Shindou :) :) remember me :) :) :)?” Horikoshi is all “I’m so sorry for depriving you guys of Shindou for so fucking long, how about an ENTIRE CHAPTER ALL OF HIM” and then he REALLY FUCKING DOES IT because, I don’t know?? Did we make him mad?? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?? It really is, honest to god, seventeen whole goddamn pages of Shindou, punctuated by a few pages of Muscular, and topped off with one (1) whole appearance by Deku at THE VERY END. And we don’t even get to see his face. I am beside myself lmao I’m sorry you guys, you can skip this recap if you want. Or just skip straight to the end, because movie 3 promo.

“long time no see” now what could this mean?? can’t think of too many characters this phrase would apply to right now. although I can think of one big one, and I know that fandom has been trying to manifest his deadbeat ass to finally show itself for years now. could it finally be that time? if Hisashi shows up and debunks DFO a big chunk of the fandom is probably going to riot lol

(ETA: why oh why did I get my hopes up like that lmao. I’m pretty sure Hisashi doesn’t actually exist and Deku was either immaculately conceived, or the stork really did bring Inko a lil green baby from the cabbage patch.)

anyway, so the chapter is opening on this random scene of CRIME and DISARRAY

was this all done by that big villain from the previous chapter? utility poles knocked down, random holes in the sides of buildings, and it looks like this one car pulled over in a hurry and the driver just hopped out and ran

who are these people talking

OH NO, OH GOD

I am immediately struck by the urge to push Shindou off of this ledge. is that mean? probably that is mean, but also fuck this guy lmao. every year you cheat someone out of their well-deserved spot in the popularity poll, and every year I want to punch you in your stupid face for it

bah. and how are you doing, Tatami. love that hero name even if you do have arguably the dumbest superpower in the entire series

listen, though. here I am shitting on these Ketsubutsu kids for no good reason, and I’m sorry about that, and truthfully it’s mostly because I just want to see Deku and/or Kacchan and so it’s hard to give a fuck about anything else right now. BUT, I will immediately cease and desist ALL of my complaining if this means we also get to see my best girl Ms. Joke, omg. Horikoshi please

sdlkfjlskalk

FUCK YOU SHINDOU OMG. I’M SORRY GUYS I CAN’T HELP IT, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO EMINENTLY PUNCHABLE AND DETESTIBLE. IT’S LIKE SOMEONE COMBINED WESLEY CRUSHER WITH JEAN RALPHIO

but LSKJFLEK at this random reminder that Bakugou refused to shake his fucking hand. like, that’s his “fun fact” apparently lol. it’s what he deserves

also living for this “cringe” here, too. fuck you Shindou. I am so, so sorry to any Shindou fans out there you guys because I’m just going to be like this the entire time he’s here. the hate is flowing through me

how has it been three whole pages and I still have to look at his stupid face

anyway so it seems like the kids are having to pick up the slack for Old Man Samurai and all those other assholes who retired. I’m guessing the U.A. kids will be seeing a lot more action as well

but in the meantime let’s hope no villains attack here all of a sudden, because all Tatami can do is make herself shorter while Shindou creates an earthquake to bring the entire building down around them dflkjslk

these guys don’t particularly want to go with them and I can’t say I blame them

so now Shindou is saying that yeah, they can probably handle the looters and such by themselves, but it’s a different story when it comes to the Noumu and the escaped Tartarus prisoners. Shindou how dare you make a reasonable point that I can’t immediately argue with

he says that one of the escapees was sighted in the area, so that’s why they’re trying to evacuate everyone

and the guy disagrees and says he doesn’t trust the heroes and thinks they’re pompous

fdskljk. fucking...

ME: Horikoshi can we please stop and get Deku HORIKOSHI: we have Deku at home THE DEKU AT HOME: 

Horikoshi. please. we get it, the civilians don’t trust the heroes anymore. I UNDERSTAND. I COMPREHEND THIS. so unless there is some other point to this scene I respectfully ask that you hurry things along because omg

did Tatami always have this habit of speaking in meme language and such? I thought that was Camie’s thing but hey

listen, I’m here for anyone who’s willing to drag this man down into the depths of the earth. I would just also rather not spend the entire fucking chapter on this oh my god. Horikoshi do you have any more of those chapters where things happen in them?? those are good, I like those

YESSSSSS FINALLY

so whoever’s on the other end of the call (ETA: it’s that rock-looking guy who can harden anything that he touches. why does BnHA have so many hardening powers) is telling them to run because there’s apparently a villain heading right for them, oh my

WHO IS HE

depending on who it is I can’t promise I won’t be rooting for them over you, buddy

ohhhhhh shit

huh. well that’s... hmm... but on the other hand...

okay lol no, I know it’s bad. Muscular fucking LOVES murdering kids. not even Shindou deserves that. I’m sure he has a family that loves him and stuff. and Tatami seems like a sweet girl. they don’t deserve to be murdered

that is the question isn’t it? are we really going to spend the entire chapter with Limbs-Retracting-Girl and her boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from (500) Days of Summer??

YES OMG

YES PLEASE CALL YOUR SENSEI. my god do you know what I would give to see Ms. Joke take down an S-class villain??

(ETA: all I’ll say is that we were robbed here, you guys.)

now Tatami is running away while Shindou stays behind omg

Horikoshi I know I said I hate the guy, and I do, but my god. seems I don’t hate him half as much as you do you. been nice knowing you Shindou my man

are you serious Tatami really ran all the way back up here to try and evacuate these guys one more time

SHE’S SUCH A GOOD PERSON omg if you assholes don’t listen to her you deserve to get murdered

BRO

HORIKOSHI DID YOU REALLY FUCKING DO IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

LOL OKAY NO, SO FAR HE’S ONLY MESSED UP HIS FACE

WHAT A SHAME WHAT A TRAGEDY. THE WORLD MOURNS

okay but seriously, now he has to be dead

r.i.p. Shindou. he died doing what he loved, talking a lot and being utterly useless

then again, damn Shindou are you really gonna come out here and be a badass?? gonna make me eat my words there kiddo?

I have absolutely no idea if I should expect this to work or not. all I know is that this is page 14, and so it would seem we really are going to spend the entire fucking chapter on fucking Shindou. this beautiful chapter had so much potential, Horikoshi. and now look at it. I hope you’re happy

nope it didn’t fucking work at all lmao

IT’S JUST LIKE I SAID. r.i.p. you pretentious handsome lump

OHHHHHH SNAP

DEKU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOL. anyway but it’s good to see you!! it’s good to see ANYONE other than these guys sob but especially you

FINALLY SOMETHING COOL OMG

somehow Horikoshi actually made the bunny mask look badass?? I don’t think this is sustainable, but I am here for it while it lasts

Shindou should by all rights be nothing but A HANDSOME PASTE at this point lol but WHATEVER. it’s BnHA; getting smashed into walls and cliffs has more or less the same consequences as being set on fire. slap a band-aid on it and you’re good to go

we are REALLY ENDING IT HERE huh

well. and that’s it. I just did not care about any of that lmao. a rare dud of a chapter. well, but we’ve had something like ten in a row that ranged from “pretty good” to “amazing”, so I guess that’s fair

anyway I feel like I owe you guys something other than endless bitching and moaning, so! BONUS:

now this is more like it

first of all, I’m absolutely living for this promo’s “YEET THE CHILDREN OUT OF A HELICOPTER” vibes. FUCK YEAH WE’RE HEROES BITCH

is Deku wearing a jetpack/parachute?? let’s hope he is because I’m assuming he doesn’t have Float yet, so if that’s not a jetpack then it is a LONG WAY DOWN kiddo

these maniacs actually got Deku to wear something other than his red shoes holy fuck. I’m speechless. are we sure that’s not an imposter??

Shouto has the funniest falling position I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his left arm is not in fact tucked under his leg like it appeared to be at first glance?? like, wtf is the outline of your body right now Shouto

this is what I think it is after careful analysis, but at first I thought this kid had some hidden contortionist abilities

and then there’s this guy

I MISSED YOU YOU BIG GOON. loving the new gauntlets!! and he’s changed up his impractical metal neck thingy into arm thingies! but most importantly, ARE THESE WHAT I THINK THEY ARE

ARE THOSE WEENIES. KACCHAN. KACCHAN HAVE YOU GONE NATIVE OMFG

and meanwhile, look who’s with them! Endeavor makes perfect sense of course, but Hawks is a very welcome surprise. does this mean we can expect to see Tokoyami too? because I would fucking love that

lastly, so this confirms the whole “world heroes” thing! which we all pretty much guessed anyway lol. I wonder if this movie will take place in another country (fingers crossed). the city in the background doesn’t look particularly familiar, but this image probably wasn’t meant to be analyzed in that way lol. anyways, looking forward to this so much, PLEASE GIVE US A TRAILER SOON omg