#like if i want to improve i need to be willing to accept advice. but everytime i get advice i cant help but feel like the person giving it

[drowsymachine]

i need to get better at accepting constructive criticism honestly, and any advice in general tbh. ive got to stop seeing someone genuinely trying to be helpful as some attack/slight against me

[pygmi-says-hi]

writing tips - editing!

my favorite circle of hell.

I think for me personally, the moment I learned how to edit productively, I felt my writing skills improve as a whole. The idea around editing is that it's getting rid of 'all the bad stuff' which I don't like for a number of reasons.

Firstly, editing is just making it look the way you want it. You mixed all the paints, you prepped the canvas, you sketched the outline, and you're adding the finishing touches.

And...it doesn't have to be scary!

Firstly - I wanna talk about Microsoft Editor, Grammarly, etc

They suck. Sorry those of you that love trying to get a perfect writing score on grammarly, but the AI just sucks. It doesn't understand tone, artistic influence, social context, or anything that makes your writing unique and interesting.

If you are in the habit of blindly accepting any 'suggestions' your software throws at you, stop. get some help.

Not only is this not helpful (because truthfully some of the suggestions are wrong) but it doesn't teach you how to analyze and critique your own writing for improvement. If grammarly says 'change this sentence to blah blah blah instead of beep beep boop' and you don't actually look at it...you could erase something that was fine to begin with! maybe I wanted beep boop vibes instead of blah blah vibes.

The computer doesn't know that. It also doesn't know that you intentionally made that a run on sentence to convey building tension. Or that milque toast is actually how you spell it, not 'milk toast'.

You need to build your editing skills. Think critically about why that sentence should change, if reasonable. Read your paragraphs and think "does this convey the tone, message, and have a reasonable length? Great! next paragraph."

if this process seems way too big and long and intimidating, let's figure out a plan.

there are a billion ways to edit successfully. As you work, you'll find a rhythm.

First - don't do too many steps at the same time.

Writing and editing at the same time doesn't work. If you do that, you'll get an uneven draft (aka half of it is polished for publishing and the other half is steaming garbage) and you'll slow your roll. Write first, edit later.

Word vomit is not always the way to go.

There is such a thing as bad brainstorming. I think the term 'brainstorming' is misconstrued as being something like 'put every idea on the page' when really it's about throwing down all the ideas and then weeding out the bad ones.

Mountains before molehills.

Get the big editing out of the way first. This means the umbrella stuff. is the plot sensible? does that dialogue need to be shifted? Is this chapter too short or too long? Do I like the general voice/tone? then, start with the pretty sentences and formatting.

If you get too attached to a paragraph because you spent so long on the symbolic subtext, you'll be less willing to potentially delete it, even if it's useless.

Get some friends to help!

Share it with peers or beta readers. These people will read it from an audience perspective and give you advice from their experience. Sometimes the writer brain gets in the way of the reader brain and you can't tell the difference.

hope this helps!!

[seleniangnosis]

What's coming your way ?

Shortly, this pac will address something that you can expect to take fo or place in the near future. Take what resonates and/or applies to your specific situation.

The decks I used for this reading are The Rws and The lenormand ones.

Feedback is appreciated 🤍

Pile 1

Ace of wands, 2 of swords, The sun, The star.

The ship, the stork, the Sun, The cross.

The opportunity of starting something new is right ahead. If you've been stuck in a period of indecisiveness , now it's time to make that move. If this is not about something you want to do/ hadn't had time or possibility to start, it can also refer to a change in your mindset. If you have thought that you're procrastinating and unable to feel successful, a more prolific way to deal with setbacks in your life is coming.

Your advice here is to develop your self esteem. Be more self assured, optimistic and believe in yourself. Miracles won't manifest by themselves if your attitude is one of feeling defeated. Keep an eye out for people in your life that might bring you either support, or some good news.💌

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, 6 of Wands, Page of Pentacles.

The Whip, The Moon, The Cross, The Sun, The garden.

For you pile 2, success and recognition is coming, and alternatively for some of you, rewards for all the hard work you've accomplished up to this point. I see this being related in most part about a work/ a job. It's possible that you have endured some sort of difficulties and harsh conditions at your workplace ( a manager or boss who is hard to please and picks up on everything that's not perfectly done / working extra hours etc) , but this hasn't been for nothing. You might receive some extra money OR ( again for some of you) you'll leave with all the money you've made and be successfully accepted to a new job, if that's something you've been looking for, if not this could simply represent public recognition for your work and efforts.

Your hardships are ending and you should be proud of what you've achieved. You'll be able to enjoy the " small fortune " you've made while working in harsh conditions.

Pile 3

2 of cups, Page of Cups, Strength, 4 of swords, 8 of pentacles

The birds, the whip, the sun, the book , the ring 💍

I will not jump towards romantic relationships, because what I see is more about an improvement in your relationships with friends, colleagues or people in general. This might be an " internally driven change " , where you either look for ways of having more fulfilled communication and connections with others, or you decide work better on your skills of making friends.

Some of you might be having to deal with toxic, gossip-y people in your life, so you might start to prioritise your mental well-being and those close to you rather than please and be nice to absolutely everyone. You will develop more emotional strength, and not let yourself be put down by those who attempt to make you feel small and unimportant.

You might need to put a bit of work into learning how to distinguish genuine connections when trying to build a relationship with someone, or use the knowledge that you gathered to your advantage, in the future.

You'll be more willing to put behind what no longer works and stop sacrificing yourself.

I'd like to finally add that this can apply to a business contract as well/ connection in the business/ work world as well. You'll learn what and who isn't deserving of your time.

[toastandjamie]

Alright nuance time! As you might have noticed I’m a fan of Mat/Tuon but the thing that makes them so interesting is the fact that they aren’t a perfect couple and the reason I love Tuon is because she’s complicated so that being said- I think it’s really interesting how unbalanced the amount effort in the relationship is. Mat by far puts more effort into making the relationship work and this is because of two reasons, how they view their respective prophecies, and their cultural differences.

Tuon’s prophecy has a lot more specifics in it, having actual signs to look for unlike Mat who received only a title and told they would marry. Tuon’s prophecy encourages her to take a passive role in the development of the relationship because the signs are all actions that Mat commits on his own, stealing and setting her free. So she waits and watches. Mat meanwhile is given no guidelines, he knows he’ll marry her and he can see that unknowingly his head is already in the noose so to speak. Unlike Tuon, despite accepted the inevitability of fate and no longer running away from it Mat still seeks out ways to enforce his own agency within the confines of fate. If his neck is the noose he’ll jump off the ledge instead of being pushed. The outcome is the same but at least he gets to control it. Mat treats his relationship with Tuon similarly, he won’t passively await a loveless marriage instead he takes steps to get to know her, to find the parts of her that he likes, he makes the active choice to love her. Ironically his desire to have agency is what causes their fated marriage.

Once they begin to persue the relationship their cultures come into play. In Seanchen society the Empress is considered infallible, in Tuon’s mind she’s a divine authority in her own right. While she’s willing to consider and listen to the opinions and advice of those she trusts she believes wholeheartedly that she is not just in the right but righteously so. Mat meanwhile has a view on relationships more akin to our own where compromise is necessary to creating a healthy relationship. Andor where Mat grew up is a matriarchy. While the Two Rivers may not acknowledge the Queen as sovereign, women are still the final authority in Emmonds Field, and an expectation of husbands deferring to their wives. Mat is a pragmatist, as a person he’s willing to bend his own morality for the safety and happiness of the people he loves to the detriment of all else including his own physical and mental well being. This means that while Tuon refuses to change she expects Mat to do so, and Mat is willingly to change for the sake of making the relationship work. He’s willing to tolerate things he wouldn’t otherwise because he wants his marriage with Tuon to be happy and he loves her.

The issue is that because they are fated together Mat is willing to do and put up with just about anything to make it work because that’s the only agency he has in relation to their marriage. Where as Tuon views herself as a passive player in her own fate and expects Mat to bend to fit her world view. This creates a dangerously unbalanced dynamic where all the expectation and pressure of keeping the relationship happy is entirely on Mat.

However we also see that there’s the chance for improvement. Mat might be willing to put up with a lot but he still highly values his own independence and sense of self. So if he views Tuon as threatening that, ie. trying to take his hat or threatening his friends/home he fights back viciously against it. While Tuon is immovable in her beliefs in many ways she can be flexible when needed and she understands when a fight isn’t worth it. And of course, she does love Mat in her own way, she shows this by giving him privileges and listening to his wants and needs. Mat is just stubborn enough and Tuon just flexible enough that growth and improvement are possible.

[theshiftingwitch]

I am depressed and stressed. There is a lot going on around me and besides that, I found the law trying to be happy by manifesting my desires. But sometimes I feel that it will not be possible or I get confused. That is to say, I let myself be carried away by external circumstances, by my traumas and limiting beliefs. Because unfortunately I have grown up feeling less than others because of situations, I compare myself with others and when I like someone and I see unfavorable circumstances I get depressed. When I want to be a famous model and actress, others tell me that I can't and I get depressed. I am so obsessed with being so beautiful that I surpass the standards and be everyone's type, that I finally know that I really became what I always wanted to be. It's what I most desire with all my heart and it's hard for me to believe and know that I already have it. When I see the 3d, actually I just try to manifest myself to my crush, he is popular and you know, we have never talked. Plus my past traumas and so on, I affirm but then I find it hard to believe and I can't hold on to the assumption. I feel very bad, thank you so much for being my friend and listening to me.

This is the most common problem with people trying to manifest for the first time especially people who have had a difficult upbringing, first I want you to know that it's nothing to worry about or feel guilty about. You're not making any mistakes and this could all be solved with a little bit of time and a little bit of effort, so buckle up and let me tell you what to do:

First things first, you have to do your Shadow work. If you're not familiar with what shadow work is, take a scroll through my page, you'll find plenty of blogs that I've written about it. have journals if you want to buy them, if not there are a lot of free Shadow work prompts on Pinterest, including mine that you can work on. I suggest you look for ones about self-image, childhood trauma, and limiting beliefs about love and self-acceptance. A lot of people in the manifestation community will tell you that you do not have to tackle your limiting beliefs to manifest and while that may work for some people, other people's trauma rears its ugly head every time we try to manifest something so I personally suggest that you work through that first or at the same time as youa re trying to manifest. I have already been down this road, if you need any more advice let me know.

The second thing you have to do, stop sharing your manifestations with other people. I get this all the time especially in my inbox with people telling me that every time they tell the people in their lives about their manifestations they get ridiculed or mocked or told that this is not going to work and it affects their state of mind and their manifestations. Please, for the love of God stop sharing your desires and your dreams with the people in your life, especially if you're surrounded by people who are not willing to support you. Most likely those people are jealous of your potential and they are trying to dim your light and keep you in a state of lack so they don't have to do any work to improve their lives. Not everyone out here who's a friend or a family member is going to root for you and support you in your dreams. If you have already tried talking to them and they shut you down and told you that nothing you want will ever come true, stop sharing with them, they are not worth it. Focus on yourself.

Last but not least, and this is something I have already talked about in previous posts: If you find it hard to believe in your affirmations, you simply do not have to believe them. Your limiting beliefs did not start as facts of Life. When you were younger you didn't know that those beliefs that were being pushed into your brain by your family and your friends and your community and society were absolute truth. And they are not, they are not the truth, but to this day your brain believes that they are, so ignore that little voice in your head that is telling you that your affirmations are nothing but a lie and continue on. Push through, do not believe what you have to say just keep saying it over and over and over again because repetition creates patterns and those patterns will rewire your subconscious mind and that is how you manifest. That is why we tell people to use robotic affirmations in the manifestation community because robotic affirmations create repetition and repetition creates new neural pathways in your brain and those neural pathways will change the way your brain functions and that way you can manifest your desires into your life. So screw believing them, screw feeling bad, push through and know that you will get the results you want because manifestation is inevitable.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[maeve-on-mustafar]

People always say that Anakin ignores Yoda’s advice when he goes to him for guidance in ROTS, but doesn’t Yoda ignore Anakin’s question? Yoda’s doesn’t address the question of whether or not Padme can be saved using the visions at all. I guess no answer can be considered an answer, but he could have properly talked to Anakin about that first.

Something I've noticed about how fans discuss that scene of Anakin and Yoda is that they use it as an example that Anakin didn't use his support system and would therefore reject therapy or wouldn't be willing to put in the work to improve himself.

But literally this scene is taking place because Anakin did use his support system. He went to Yoda for help. He recognized he needed to speak with someone about this situation, even if he avoided specifics, and see if he could get advice to stop the situation from escalating. If the first step to solving a problem is recognizing a problem, and the second step is seeking advice on how to solve the problem, well, then Anakin's done both in this very scene.

As for Yoda's advice . . . I can see why Yoda thinks it's helpful? Like, I think it's applicable to Yoda's situation, given that he lives hundreds of years and routinely sees people he loves die around him. But you're right in that he seems to immediately accept the premonitions of death as death being inevitable. I mean, obviously, I don't think Anakin should have gone to the lengths he did to save Padme, but at the same time . . . shouldn't part of a Jedi's job being to prevent unnecessary death and suffering? Especially in the midst of a war?

But I don't think the advice is all that helpful for Anakin, or even for many non-Jedi. Yoda tells Anakin he shouldn't miss or mourn this person once he loses them and instead rejoice for them that they are one with the Force. Which isn't bad advice, but it completely ignores that Anakin will miss the person he's going to lose, and that's a very normal and understandable part of the grieving process. Most people are not going to be immediately able to accept someone's death and instantly be over it. Regardless of if he should be able to do that, Anakin isn't able to do that.

And likewise, Yoda telling Anakin to "train himself to let go of everything he fears to lose" isn't particularly helpful, either, since, well, he doesn't give Anakin advice on how to do that, or even any tips on how to reach that point on his own. Like, if you want to get better at soccer, and someone tells you, "Practice more!", that's not incorrectly, but it's also very general and non-specific. Practice what more? Windsprints? Drills? Footwork? Is solo work best, or would it be more beneficial to practice with another person?

So how should Anakin train himself to let go? I mean, it's not like he hasn't had practice already, and he's still not great at it. He's a twenty-year-old who's spent the last three years being a general and leading a battalion in a galactic war. Maybe if he's reaching out for help and hasn't found a way to cope with loss by this point, that's a sign he needs some extra intervention and assistance?

The Tapcaf Transmissions podcast had some interesting thoughts regarding the subject of why the Jedi insist on responding to Anakin as if he's just another Jedi instead of actually reacting to the person he is and his individual situation (such as the time Obi-Wan warns Mace and Yoda that their plan with Anakin and Palpatine isn't going to work). The episodes are on the Revenge of the Sith novelization and the Brotherhood novel specifically, and I think they're worth a listen.

Also, I want to bring up a point I've never seen anyone else bring up regarding this scene: considering how Yoda turned his back on Ahsoka in The Wrong Jedi arc and that she left the frickin' Order due to the behavior of Yoda and the rest of the Council, it's a miracle that Anakin tried to go to Yoda for help at all. I think this aspect alone withers the "Anakin doesn't ask for help/Anakin doesn't use his support system/Anakin refuses to participate in therapy" argument where it stands.

Because Anakin went to the Jedi who refused to listen to either himself or Ahsoka regarding Ahsoka's innocence, who expelled Ahsoka from the Jedi Order without a trial and handed her over to Tarkin, and who did nothing to attempt to help her in her actual trial, for help and advice. He swallowed any pride and went to this person who had already failed both him and Ahsoka on an epic scale and whose poor decisions resulted in Ahsoka walking away from the Jedi because she was so hurt by their actions and refusal to believe in her.

So if Anakin decided to give Yoda a shot at helping him again in spite of The Wrong Jedi fiasco, but then walked away thinking Yoda's advice sucked? I can't blame him. Because he knows Yoda already destroyed one of his closest relationships. Is it truly any wonder that Anakin doesn't want to listen to his instructions about just letting another person he loves die and not to miss them or mourn them?

Finally, I want to conclude on another point I never see mentioned. Immediately after this scene with Anakin and Yoda, we get a scene of Obi-Wan and Anakin, with Obi-Wan telling Anakin the Chancellor has sent for him and warning him to be careful of Palpatine. Then we get a scene of Palpatine telling Anakin he needs to be Palpatine's personal representative on the Council and advocate for the best interests of the Republic. Then we get Anakin's first Council meeting where he learns his position is going to be in-name-only. Then we get Obi-Wan telling Anakin afterward that he must undertake this off-the-books undercover mission and be a triple agent spying on Palpatine, who's been mentoring Anakin (with the Council's permission) for the past ten years. Anakin doesn't want this mission because 1) it's treason, and 2) Palpatine is the dad to him that Obi-Wan didn't want to be. And from this point onward, Anakin feels torn between the Jedi and Palpatine and the rest of the Republic and starts growing suspicious of the Jedi.

So even if Anakin did have the best intentions to take Yoda's advice in spite of everything that went down with Ahsoka, he's literally doesn't have the time before he's hammered with a high-stress mission that directly conflicts with his personal loyalties, and this mission again could result in Anakin losing someone he loves because of Yoda. Palpatine was exploiting Anakin the whole time, but Anakin didn't know that and believed him to be a genuinely trusted friend and honest leader of the Republic. He might have believed in Yoda before this point, but he's certainly not going to now, because he now has reason to believe Palpatine's claim that the Jedi are working against him to overthrow the Republic.

TL;DR: Most arguments about this scene ignore what happened with Ahsoka and that Anakin has valid reasons to be skeptical of Yoda. They also ignore that the Council asked Anakin to be a spy almost directly afterward, and that it was the Jedi who allowed Palpatine close to Anakin in the first place.

[shock]

hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give

middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.

if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".

I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.

You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.

Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.

Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.

They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.

I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.

[oraclemoontarot]

So I saw someone asking this request heheh I would also like to ask the same question, if it's okay. I would like to know how each Stray Kids or riize either you can choice which member or group you will like to read and what will view me if I was their friend or companion ? Thank you so much and also thank you thank you so much for accepting my request about future spouse I am so grateful and appreciate your kindness and generosity God bless

hii, ofc! here's the reading you requested 💗

requested reading ★

how would riize view you if you were friends ୨୧

shotaro ★

cards pulled: queen of cups, nine of swords, king of pentacles + seven of pentacles

shotaro would view you as someone with a warm and open heart. you have a nurturing and understanding nature, and always willing to lend an ear or shoulder to those in need. he may also see you as having a lot of internal worries - you may be an overthinker or worry about those around you. with the king of cups, shotaro would also view you as being humble, grounded, stable and good at managing your finances. there's this roundedness to you which is calming and comforting.

overall, with the seven of pentacles, shotaro would respect your level of patience and care. you are someone who works slowly towards your goals and are of mild temperament, so you likely aren't someone who would get angered easily.

eunseok ★

cards pulled: seven of pentacles, fool, hanged man + hermit

eunseok would view you similarly to shotaro with the seven of pentacles - patient, steady pace towards your goals, and of mild temperament. but with the fool, there's this childlike wonder to you, you have this excitement as if this is your first life. you may be a dreamer or love experiencing new things. with the hanged man, eunseok would love the perspective you have on life and in general. you may be able to see both sides of the coin, to try and see things from another persons perspective - there's this understanding to you.

overall, with the hermit, eunseok might see you on a slightly deeper level than shotaro, in the sense that you have/do grow a lot. you may be independent, or you take time to process your emotions, thoughts, and actions on your own. you are constantly seeking to improve yourself and grow into a better, more wiser version of you.

sungchan ★

cards pulled: four of pentacles, star, six of wands + chariot

sungchan would view you as being someone guarded or cautious - maybe you're reserved, or you are careful with your money. with the star, sungchan would see you as being a dreamer and an optimist. there's always this sense of hope in your eyes, you may have a dream you are working towards or always try to see the positive to any situation. with the six of wands, sungchan would view you as being someone who is successful in life or in what you do. you may also be good with people.

overall, with the chariot, there's this go-getter energy about you. you don't sit still when you want someone, you charge towards it. you have a lot of drive and energy to you that would ignite/inspire sungchan.

wonbin ★

cards pulled: knight of cups, world, hierophant + hanged man

wonbin would view you as being a romantic/idealist. you're creative and emotionally stable/open. you always express how you feel and aren't ashamed of it. with the world, wonbin would see you as having achieved a whole lot - and, if you're from a different culture from him, he may also appreciate your culture and may ask you a lot about it if you were friends. with the hierophant, wonbin may see you as being more traditional in your values, or come to you for advice on certain matters.

overall, with the hanged man, wonbin would view you as someone who has a different perspective on life. you may look at two sides of an argument or not jump to one side until you've tried to understand the whole picture.

sohee ★

cards pulled: eight of swords, knight of cups, star + four of pentacles

sohee may view you as someone who holds themselves back at times, maybe from outside pressures. however, with the knight of cups, there's this warmth, idealistic/romantic and creative nature to you, paired with the star which is your optimism and imaginative mind, there's this admiration and comfort to you.

overall, with the four of pentacles, you may be guarded or reserved, especially paired with the eight of swords, you may hesitate to fully open up.

anton ★

cards pulled: six of pentacles, fool, eight of cups + death

if you and anton were friends, he would view you as someone who is generous with either their time or resources. you may not hesitate to lend a helping hand to those around you, but there's also this childlike wonder and urge for adventure. you're stable yet fun. out of every member so far, Anton would likely see you on a deeper level. with the eight of cups and death, you may be someone who has left behind something that didn't serve you, or you are someone who doesn't let negative things or people hold you back. you are also someone who is constantly changing for the better, you get stronger and wiser each time.

seunghan ★

cards pulled: nine of swords, eight of cups, ten of cups + eight of pentacles

seunghan would view you as someone who has a lot of internal worries, things that might keep you up at night, or you worry about people you care about. yet you also leave behind things that don't benefit you, you always seek out better things and put yourself first. with the ten of cups, seunghan would see you as a family person - you may be close with your family, or hope to have a family of your own someday. this may be a value/sentiment seunghan shares with you.

overall, with the eight of pentacles, seunghan would appreciate your hardworking nature. you put in a lot of effort to achieve your goals, or possibly mend relationships between you, your friends and your family.

[walker-extended-universe]

Worst Case Scenario, Chapter 3

Relationship(s): Cordell Walker & Stella Walker, August Walker & Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced torture, Mental Health Issues, Trauma, Trauma Recovery, Physical Recovery, Disability

Summary: August is back home and everyone is adjusting, but no one is okay. Not just yet.

Written for @angstober Day 13: Shaking

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

--------------------------

August’s return home was a grand affair. Well, not too grand; they didn’t want to overwhelm the poor boy. But some cake and August’s favorite dinner was more than acceptable.

Everyone had gone to the hospital the week before to get a rundown on what to expect. August was still mostly independent but he would need help with some things, especially his physical therapy routine. They would also need to be patient with him speaking due to his stutter. His motor issues and his stutter would never fully go away but they were encouraged to help him improve.

The moment his son came back home, Cordell felt like a crushing weight had been lifted. It was no longer a question of “if” things would get better, but “when”. August’s condition could marginally improve over time, but he would still be able to (mostly) live his life regardless. This experience wouldn’t be a horrible stain that ruined his life, just a small setback.

As he sat at the table, watching August carefully use his fork despite his shaky hand, he had hope for the first time in weeks.

They were going to be okay.

—------------

Stella thought having August home would make her feel better. August coming home meant he was getting better. August coming home meant everyone else would be distracted and leave her alone.

Everything was supposed to get better.

Only, it didn’t.

If anything, having him home made it worse. She got a front row seat to his condition and what that meant for the rest of his life.

She felt awful. If she hadn’t been so stupid, if she hadn’t fallen for Shannon’s lies, if she’d just waited for Uncle Larry and the rest of the rangers to come back….

None of this would be happening. August wouldn’t have brain damage, Dad would look her in the eyes, and she wouldn’t be having these awful nightmares.

She just wanted things to go back to normal, for the problems to be over. But she knew it wasn’t that simple. It never was with their family.

“Stella? What are you still doing up?”

She whipped around and flinched when she saw her dad. “Uh, hi. I… I couldn’t sleep.”

That wasn’t entirely true. She could sleep; she just didn’t want to. She didn’t want the nightmares, the memories, to come back. And she knew they would. They always did.

Dad’s eyes softened just a bit. “Still having nightmares?”

She nodded silently. Was this a good sign? Was he finally going to give her a break? Would he give her advice so she didn’t have to ask for it?

“It’ll be okay, Stell. You just need some time.” Cordell put a hand on his shoulder on his way past her into the kitchen. She did her best not to flinch. “Maybe we can get you one of those white noise machines. That used to help me.”

She slumped. “Yeah, maybe.” That wouldn’t help. The problem was never about falling asleep; it was about what she saw when she got to dreamland.

“Alright. Why don’t you head on to bed, butterbean? Tomorrow’s a new day.”

Stella slunk up the stairs, not willing to risk another argument if she tried to stay up later. She slid under her sheets and tried scrolling on her phone to distract herself. If she just didn’t sleep, she wouldn’t dream. Right?

But, inevitably, her body gave in to exhaustion, and she fell into the darkness.

You want your meal? You gotta earn it.

You know, I’m almost glad your dad’s being stubborn. We’d have to let you go if he gave in, and I like having your pretty face around.

Don’t push it, sweetheart. I know your birth control’s worn off by now.

Open wide, darling.

Stella woke up gasping for air, choking on something that wasn’t there. She clenched her shaking hands as she tried to get her breathing under control.

“You’re fine. You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine,” she muttered to herself. “You don’t have brain damage, you’re not pregnant, you’re fine. It’s just a bad dream. Get over it. You’ll be fine.”

She had to be fine. She didn’t deserve to ask for help. This was all her fault anyway.

She would be fine.

—------------

They were starting to develop a routine at the ranch. Which was good, as Stella would be returning to school soon and Cordell had approval to go back to work in the next couple of weeks. They needed to get August ready for spending more of his day alone.

Cordell wished he could send him to school, just for the sense of normalcy, but he didn’t think August was quite ready for that. He knew how highschoolers could be, and August didn’t need relentless bullying on top of everything else he was dealing with. So Cordell had worked out a deal with the school so most of his work- outside of a few tests- could be done online. It was much safer and less demanding. And August could still hang out with any of his friends on the ranch if he really wanted to. This was just the better option, even if August didn't seem to appreciate it.

“I-I c-c-could go t-t-to sch-chool….”

“I know you could, bud,” Cordell said gently. “But I just don’t think we’re ready for that yet. Maybe we can talk about that for next year, but right now you’re still adjusting and it won’t hurt to do it online for now.”

August pouted but nodded. “F-Fine….”

Cordell clapped him on the shoulder. “There ya go. And don’t forget, you can ask Mawline or your Uncle Liam for help while Stella and I are out.”

“I kn-kn-know. All-All three-ee of y-y-you t-t-tell me ev-ev-everyd-d-day.”

Cordell chuckled. “Well, we just want to be sure you know. We all just need a little more adjustment time I guess….”

August rolled his eyes. “Yeah, what-t–tev-ver.” He picked up his laptop and started heading upstairs, probably looking for a little peace and quiet while he got used to his new school portal.

Speaking of upstairs, Cordell hadn’t seen Stella all day. Well, not since breakfast, at least. He’d been meaning to talk to her since he caught her staying up late in the living room the other night. Geri’s words from a few weeks ago still bounced around in his mind. He’d started lightening up a little bit around her, but there was still a ways to go with their relationship. He wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t recognize that.

And, after that talk, he’d started to recognize her pain more. It was just hard to talk to her about it.

It was hard, when all he saw when he looked at her was August in a hospital bed. He couldn’t help but think of the “what ifs” and how much smoother all this could’ve been if she hadn’t been so stupid.

He elected to ignore the voice in the back of his head that reminded him he pulled much stupider shit back in his day.

Sighing, he started heading upstairs too. He had to try, at least.

“Hey, butterbean…” He rapped his knuckles on her door, gently pushing it open. “You’ve been kind of quiet today. Everything okay?”

Stella looked up from where she was writing in a notebook. Her eyes widened and she quickly closed the notebook. “Uh- yeah. Everything’s fine. Just- getting ready to go back to school.” She smiled weakly and her eyes shifted away from him.

If he didn’t know any better, he might think his daughter was scared of him. But he knew she was just traumatized in other ways. She was just having a little trouble bouncing back. “You know, you don’t have to go back yet if you’re not ready. We could work something out with the school and get you a little more time.

Stella’s smile wavered but she shook her head. “No, I’m okay, really. I’ll probably feel better once I’m back to normal. Being stuck in the house for all this time probably hasn’t done me any good….” She trailed off with a strained laugh. 

Cordell nodded. “Yeah, I know the feeling. I can’t wait to get back to work….” Man up, Walker. She needs you. “You know, if you ever wanted to…talk…about what happened… We can get you a therapist. I’ve never been a therapy guy but I’m not exactly a paragon of mental health.” He chuckled. “If you think it might help, we could definitely find someone for you.”

Stella stared at him silently for a moment, then shook her head. “No, I think I’m okay. I mean, I’m not like ‘okay’ but…. You don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine. I just need some time.”

Cordell nodded. He knew the feeling well. “Okay, then. Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will. Thanks.” Stella then turned away from him and opened her journal again.

He slowly backed away, closing the door as he went.

He thought that went pretty well, all things considered.

Things were going to be fine.

—-----------

August wasn’t the same. He knew a lot had changed, about himself and about his family.

He saw more than they all realized. He understood more than they thought he could.

He hated that he couldn't express it properly. He knew all the right words (most of the time) but he couldn't say them right.

When Dad babied him and treated him like he can’t do the basics by himself, he wanted to scream. When Uncle Liam tried to treat him like he was still normal, he wanted to cry. When Aunt Geri slowed her speech around him, he appreciated the effort but hated that she had to.

When Stella avoided him, he just wanted to hug her like he used to.

He wanted to tell her he didn’t blame her for anything. He wanted her to know he was still there for her. He wanted her to know he still saw her pain.

He just wanted to help. But she wouldn’t let him.

And August knew why. He wasn’t stupid or blind. He knew Dad was being too harsh on her, making her retreat every time she so much as opened her mouth.

August hated that more than he hated Dad treating him like an invalid.

He may not be able to do anything about Dad directly, but he could still help Stella in his own way. Or, at least, try to. So, one night, he snuck into her room, and tried something. “H-Hey…”

Stella sat up quickly in her bed, shoulders slumping when she saw who it was. “Hey, Augie. What are you doing up?”

He shrugged and sat on the edge of her bed. “I w-wanted-d t-to t-t-talk t-t-to you.”

“About what?”

“Y-You. Y-Y-You’re s-s-sad.”

Stella looked away. “I’m fine, Augie. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I still d-d-do.”

She sighed. “I- I appreciate that, but I’m fine, really.” She tried to smile at him, but he saw right through that.

“I-I’m not-t-t st-t-upid.”

She flinched. “I know, but you still shouldn’t worry about me. You’re the one that got brain damage because of me. I'm still walking and talking, I’ll be fine.”

August frowned. “B-But y-you’re not. Y-Y-Y-You-” He stopped and forced himself to take a deep breath. 

You’re not fine. You’re hiding all the time, you flinch when anyone gets near you, and you never talk to anyone about it. I miss you. I wish Dad treated you better. I wish I could actually tell you all this.

“Hey, it’s okay….” Stella grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “I know…. I know I’m not okay. I wish I was. I just- I don’t know who to talk to.”

“T-T-Talk t-to me,” he pleaded. “I l-l-l-love you.”

Stella smiled sadly. “Augie, my shit isn’t your problem.”

“B-B-Bullshit.”

That made Stella laugh. “Okay, okay, if you insist…” She trailed off. “I don’t want to tell you everything. I’m not there yet. But… This is nice. If you want to keep doing it, I mean.”

August nodded. This was all he wanted.

“Okay then. Just- Don’t tell dad.”

“I-I-I won’t-t-t. Pr-Promise.”

She smiled again, for real this time. “Okay then. Thanks, Augie.” She kissed his cheek softly. “Now go to bed. Dad’ll worry about you.”

August rolled his eyes but did as she asked. He just hoped she wasn’t lying to him.

He just wanted things to be okay again. Was that too much to ask?

[rosecrystal]

Have u ever had a friend constantly complain about her awful bf but literally rebuttals every single suggestion u give her??? At first i thought she just wanted to vent so i listened and commented a few times but it’s been like a year now and she sends paragraphs about how bad he is and all the insults and shit he throws at her and screen shots of what he says but she won’t leave him or move out!!! She’s a stay at home mom and i know it’s hard for her to leave but she did get a job recently but plans on quitting it to be stay at home again…but she just has a rebuttal for everything. I’ve even offered her to live with me for a few months to get on her feet bc she won’t ask family but she just will not. I want to be there for her still but it’s really exhausting reading these paragraphs almost everyday but her not doing anything about it. But like i said i don’t want to leave a friend when she’s being treated like that. But i just don’t know what to say at this point lol. So now im venting to u i guess bc I’ve seen u give really good advice on her to women in ur askbox 😭

I know a lot of people like that unfortunately… And what you have to remember in these cases is that women who fall in these situations are mostly not that well-adjusted, as in they have attachment issues and deeply rooted insecurities. Toxic and abusive men will go for these women because confident, self loving women will never put up with their shit. So in these cases it’s not as simple as to just get them to leave them, it’s very important for these women to work on the underlying issues and their beliefs that this is what they deserve. That’s why a lot of times when you give them relationship advice it’s difficult for them to take it bc they need to work on self love and changing their perspective instead, and that is possible if the person is very strong willed and determined to get better. It’s a vicious cycle for them but not impossible to get out of, at the end of the day all of us need to realize we are the ones responsible for our own well being even if we have been hurt by others before, healing is on us. I think you are doing a good job by being on her side and not leaving her alone in her situation, however it gets draining for you too if a person keeps complaining continuously and doesn’t take your help/advice and does nothing to change her situation. If I was you I would have a serious talk with her about the situation she’s in, maybe research and present her with some therapy options or some books on self love/self improvement (I think you know her and kinda know what she needs to read), some internet resources, etc. and also put up boundaries on how much she can complain to you. There’s limits to what you can do, especially if she doesn’t want to accept your help or help herself. You can be there for her when/if she decides to take your help but let her know she can come to you if she actually wants to make a change

[waheelawhisperer]

Not V5 defenders trying to wax metaphorical about Yang nobly processing pain, openly reckoning with disability and setting aside anger by...leaving a limb upstairs with the teammates who were getting assbeat 5 seconds ago to enter a likely dual-hostile-Maiden situation with 3 of 4 limbs. I mean, what's the Message? Applauding people who ditch their aid devices under duress 'cause they don't ~really~ need crutches if they can still hop a bit??

I think the Message is supposed to be "Yang Is Controlling Her Temper And Learning To Fight Smarter And Solve Problems With Her Head Instead Of Her Fists", but it falls flat for a number of reasons. Dropping this under the cut so that people who don't want to see criticism of RWBY's writing can skip over it.

She already controlled her temper - we consistently see her vent when she gets frustrated/overstimulated and then calm down and start functioning more effectively. She's already well aware of her anger and knows how to manage it, and her anger wasn't the reason she got hurt in the first place, it was because she got stuck in a no-win situation and correctly identified the only course of action with a chance of success and didn't miraculously manage to pull it off against a superior opponent who also held all the cards. She already fought intelligently (and arguably fights smarter before Tai opens his big mouth to belittle her trauma and the fighting skills she learned from him than she does after receiving his "advice")*. She was arguably more diplomatic than most, if not all, of her teammates prior to Tai (and the writers) telling her to Use Her Brain More, given that even in the Poser era she was the only one to not have a major fight with one of her teammates (guess who started most of those? Oh, right, it was Weiss) and called Weiss out for the way she rejected Jaune (whether Weiss was correct or justified in doing so or doing so the way she did or whether Yang was right to roast her for it is beside the point, the point is that Yang was demonstrably more concerned with averting tension within her friend group than at least two of her teammates).

Also, even if this message held up well based on the evidence the show gave it, or at least held up well enough for me to give it the benefit of the doubt, the actual execution during the Battle of Haven fucking sucks ass. Even ignoring any messaging about Yang's disability and how her treatment of it reflects how the writers see it, detaching her arm was still the stupidest thing she could've done there. Literally one throw she could've pulled off without breaking stride could've put Mercury in a shitty position, set him up for attacks from her allies, and let her continue on toward the vault with both fucking arms.

As for the tactical assessment of sending Yang down to deal with two Maidens and someone who just kicked Weiss's ass, that was also stupid, but it was a desperation move. They just didn't have any choice. There weren't really any forces to spare to send with her, and Yang at least has an outside chance of getting through to Raven somehow. It's just another situation where Team RWBY doesn't truly have a good option, just one that sucks less than the rest.

*her technical skills have outright regressed, she spams more kicks instead of relying on her really fucking good boxing technique, but this is because screen fighting is different from real fighting and the choreography in general got worse when the show switched to Maya, so I'm willing to accept the narrative's argument that her combat skill has improved in-universe even if that's not the case from a real-world perspective.

[dlaugh]

Sorry about that, first time I legit use Tumblr. Anyway, Selina adopting Jason. It inspired my own story idea with one of my original characters. The problem is the story has potential but I suck at writing. My question (FINALLY) is that, would you be willing to accept and write my story idea? ☺️ It's mostly Carte blanche with just a few points here and there to point you in a general direction. You probably get asked this A LOT, but I figured I'd try. Nothing to lose, right? Appreciate this.

Hi! (I know it's, like, weeks later but I need to check Tumblr more often lol.)

I'm so happy to hear that you liked my story and enjoyed reading the series. Unfortunately, I honestly don't have time to write any more than I am. I'm backlogged as it is with the five bonus stories I'm working on to complete the In Another Life series. And those are taking me so long because I mainly write original works.

Of course it never hurts to ask. But if you're really passionate about your idea, I thoroughly encourage you to write it! Like the saying goes: we all start somewhere. And no one will ever be as knowledgeable, enthusiastic, or as interested in your story as you are. Even more, you never have to pressure yourself into it being "good". None of my stories actually end up like they are in my head.

This is my honest advice to anyone who has a great idea but doesn't think they're "good enough" to write it. There's really no such thing! You only get better at writing by writing, so keep writing and improve your craft. My very first stories were not "good", but I enjoyed writing them. And now, I'm confident enough in my stories to share them with all of you.

Just write your story if you want it to be written. And one day, you'll be confident enough in it to share it. And then maybe one day I'll be able to read it too!

[skelezomperman]

Self-Reflection: What have I added to fandom?

(Companion piece with this)

How to use this: These are rhetorical questions that you can ask to examine yourself. They are not just meant to probe your faults and provoke you into doing a mea culpa about everything bad you have done or everything good you have failed to do. They are meant to help you get a full, neutral picture about what you are doing in fandom. When done properly, it leads to you getting a full picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it can help you to know where you can improve yourself.

Ideally, you should do this when you are calm and not thinking about any sort of drama. Try to do it on a regular basis - once a month, maybe once a week or even daily if you spend a lot of time in fandom. You can take notes when going through the questions, but you don't have to. Try not to dwell too much on a particular item - this is more to get an overall picture than for you to enumerate everything bad you have ever done.

I can't give you more advice since you know yourself better than anyone else on this Earth, but I hope this helps you.

-+-

Why am I participating in the community? Am I doing what I originally wanted to do? Did something distract me from my original goals? Is that something a net positive or a net negative?

What kind of content (or discussion, talks, etc) have I been putting into the community? Have I spent more time making negative content than positive content? Have I funneled most of my energy into criticizing or attacking rather than praising?

Have I said anything in a mean-spirited way to other people? Have I been passive-aggressive? Have I insulted people or resorted to ad hominem?

Have I belittled others for their preferences? Have I looked down on other people because of who they like or how they like to play?

When I have debated others, did I respect them? Did I debate to try to understand them, or did I debate to try to win?

Have I taken disagreements personally? Have I considered criticism towards a video game or a fictional character as personal criticism towards myself?

Have I tried to silence other voices? Have I discouraged people from speaking their thoughts, provided that their thoughts were not disruptive or harmful? Have I excluded other people who wanted to join?

When I have corrected others, did I do so with their needs in mind or with my needs in mind? Have I tried to be gentle? Have I put down other people in the process of trying to correct them? Have I corrected others for something that needed to be corrected or for something which only annoys me?

Have I recognized when it is prudent to stop a conversation? Have I chosen to be silent when it is called for rather than interrupt? Have I been willing to walk away and ignore or block someone when continued interaction would only make things worse?

Have I portrayed myself as better than others? Do I hold myself to be inherently better than others? Do I see other people as irredeemably evil?

Have I been willing to accept criticism from others? Am I defensive when people point out a personal flaw? Am I willing to apologize when I have done something wrong? Am I willing to accept other people’s apologies, provided that I am ready to do so and that I have healed from the harm done?

Have I been considerate of other peoples’ backgrounds? Have I respected the diversity of people that I meet in the community? Have I made demeaning comments about other people or groups of people? Have my comments about characters inadvertently hurt other people?

Have I turned a blind eye to people being hostile to others? Did I avoid speaking out against bad behavior when I could have said something?

Do I feel positive or negative whenever I finish a session in the fandom? Do I feel worn out, or do I feel satisfied? Am I ready to return to the fandom tomorrow and continue to welcome other people into our community?

[arthurtristankingsmen]

Small things I think I'd like for myself, a non-exhaustive list:

- Be engaging and fun to watch the streams of, enough to build up a small group of people who want to watch my streams regularly. so whenever I do one, I have people to converse consistently with in the chat and connect to

-improve my art enough that I can do more interesting and dynamic poses and produce cool pieces faster. It'd also be rad if i got to a point that people might tip me for the chance for some of my work, even the silly doodles, not just because they're my buddies (though I will never not appreciate the kindness of friendship too <3).

- Write again, whatever I want. Write the characters I want to. Create for myself, or to share with others, both art and writing, but without the expectation that anyone *should* like it. It's okay if it's just me. I'll love it enough for everyone. Notes don't matter to me already, but i need the same mindset about comments and engagement, where they're icing on the cake, but the cake should be mine to enjoy the process of baking.

- fight to become kinder and more patient again. I feel like I've lost myself because of traumatic events and some abuse over the last few years, and I'm not as good at being someone worth being around as I used to be. I burned out and I've struggled to be as understanding or to say things right, and I've fallen on too-teasing humor. I need to change, to joke in kinder ways than playful jabs that could accidentally go too far, and to find that gentler version of myself again, while maintaining boundaries. I can be honest and say what people need to hear, but I won't be blunt, I'll take the extra minutes to say it with compassion and sympathy and understanding. I want to be a safe space.

- Learn you can't help everyone. I know I want to, so so bad. But there are times you can't, and accepting that is better than feeling helpless and getting upset. I can't do stuff like donate to everyone who needs it every time, when I don't have anything to spare. I can't give up all of my mental spoons to help someone vent about a stressful day, when I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I can't keep telling myself that my life has no point and It's too late for me to be okay, so the only thing i can do is be of service to others and help them live better lives than me. It isn't too late for me, and my sacrifice wasn't asked for and it doesn't make me a hero or 'good' that i'm willing to do that. I have to kill the egotistic part of my brain that thinks my suffering for that kindness is "noble", and not something that would make the people I'm helping that way feel guilty for taking from me, if they knew. Give what you can spare of yourself, but leave enough to live with. No one wants others to set themselves on fire to keep them warm, and if they do, that isn't a relationship to maintain.

- Stop putting emotional energy into people who won't listen to the advice you give. instead of saying the same thing over and over again and getting resentful that they don't listen, just let them be. sometimes people need to stumble and stand up on their own to really learn for themselves, and it isn't worth all the energy you might try to give, just because you feel it'll help them, especially if they don't truly want to listen.

-You can't fix everything. it's exhausting, and a little too much ego to think you know better for everyone, and it's controlling to try and take over to help someone like a parent they never asked for, even if your intentions are only ever meant to be good and helpful. People are in charge of their own life, and they'll figure their stuff out with time, whether it's learning to listen because of realizing it would've helped a different time, or through trial and error. Keep the advice to people who ask for it, or it actually seems to help, and conserve the energy you'd spend on the people who nod along but never follow-through, so you don't end up feeling frustrated when they don't heed it.

-related, but stop putting as much energy into relationships that feel one-sided. Find people to talk to, to have fun with, and stop investing so much in relationships where almost all of the emotional energy is yours. You can't be the one who always tries to carry a conversation just to see it drop off. If they don't have the energy for you, or you're not a priority, that's okay. We can be friends, and still have nice talks and you can still care about them deeply! But try to prioritize relationships that make you feel you are worth listening to and engaging with, for yourself, rather than the ones where others zone out when you start talking when its not something they care about or are fixated on, or those who only engage when they need a sounding board, or drop off every time you try to engage them. All of these things are fine to do on occasion, don't get me wrong (i do it myself, it's human and not something to punish yourself for) but if it's almost every time, it's okay to feel undervalued. And it's okay to want more, and to focus on the relationships where we prioritize each other more consistently, and listen and engage with each others' interests more equally, both the ones we share, and the ones we just want to talk about with someone. Try not to guilt others for these things because it is natural, but if you need more, you need more, and it's okay to focus your energy where it makes you happier to be, rather than feeling bad the space you're in isn't meeting those needs.

-at the same time, be aware you are not beholden to all of your friends' energy and time. Sometimes, they will not have the energy or spoons to hang out out or talk, but that does not mean they don't love you or spending time with you. Try to be patient and understanding. Sometimes, they will do things without you, with other friends and that is okay, too. They are their own people, and they are allowed to exist outside of being around you, even with other friends. It's alright to feel bad sometimes about missing out, especially if it seems to be about maliciously leaving you out, or about avoiding you, or what you missed out on feels big and important. but it is okay for people to engage one another without inviting every other person they know every time, including yourself. Sometimes, a big group is too much for one person, sometimes they just want one-on-one time--- a friend group is not a singular unit that you are breaking by hanging out with friends separately. While everyone getting to hang out is great, you're allowed to have friendships that don't overlap, and you're allowed to hang out with friends who *do* individually, and everyone else you know is allowed to do the same. It's fair to want to feel a part of things, but it is not a terrible thing for others to enjoy time with just one friend, and it doesn't mean they don't like you or enjoy your company too. it's okay to be disappointed, but try to remember that, and try to find ways to accept it, like making time yourself for special hangout time too, or acccepting that whatever they were engaged with will still be fun for them now, and being okay with being late to the party, so long as you get to join in.

-try to become more positive. Not in a toxic positivity way, but it's okay to curate a space where everything wrong isn't the focus all the time. Being online is an escape, and while it's healthy to vent sometimes and work through problems or tough stuff, it's also easy to fall into consistent negativity, and people exposed too long to that will burn out. It's good to be able to tell people how you feel and communicate, but you need to learn to sometimes sort through things on your own, and try to also be a source of good and energizing feelings to balance out the tough stuff, and strike that balance. talk to people where you can just have fun, and be a source of support and joy for others where being around you ends up with them feeling good more often than sad or hurt or bad. you're not responsible for everyone's feelings, but you can always try to be someone you'd want to be around more, too. Find the things that bring you enthusiasm and be loud and supportive of people you care about-- it doesn't have to be every time, but try to be the person you want others to be for you, who make you feel engaged and listened to and like they care. Take the time to find the words that will mean something to someone, and make the effort to say them, you never know how much it will mean.

-BUT check your ego. Just because you take the time to say something kind because it might mean something to someone else, or to be supportive and listen, and to be that person that you wanted someone else to be for you--- *doesn't* mean that the people you interact with have to be that for you. You are not entitled to them changing for you, or engaging you how you want, or supporting what you make just because you made it. Sometimes tastes or things are different, and that's okay. You are not owed that, just because you do it for someone else. You chose to do what you do, to become more positive because that's the kind of person *you* want to be. it shouldn't be because then they might give you what you want. Friendship is not transactional. If that change does happen, that's great, and you might become closer for it. but you cannot expect that, or make them into what they want, because they are real people. so changing with the expectation that if you try harder, so will they, is unfair to put on them, and will end in disappointment if it doesn't happen.

-if what you really want is something different than what you are given, it can be talked about, if you want to see if it's possible for the relationship to change for your needs. but it's their right to say no to changing anything they do. And it's your right, if that happens, to instead focus on the friendships you have that already suit your needs, or to find new ones, instead of staying in a position you're unhappy with. try to communicate, and/or find the connections that work better for you.

-Communicate better. It's always good to keep trying, and keep getting better at it, even if you think you're already pretty good at. Never assume people know what you're thinking or how you're feeling. If you feel bad and are starting to feel resentful over something, step up to talk it out. just like you aren't in charge of someone else's feelings, they're not in charge of yours. If you feel a certain way, the ball is in your court to engage with someone and figure out how to address the issue, for both of you to resolve it, or understand what's going on. Do your best to figure out and frame things as 'us vs the problem' rather than you vs them, and do your best to be honest, but kind in communicating. Try to be sympathetic and understanding of their side, but don't let their side invalidate your feelings entirely, unless something is cleared up that makes you feel better. Even if you can understand where they're coming from, that doesn't mean what you feel doesn't matter. There are ways to acknowledge what happened without just going with them being right. You aren't doing yourself or them any favors by bending down and just agreeing with them to avoid conflict, that only leaves more hurt feelings and resentments down the road.

-At the same time, though, sometimes it's best to hold your tongue. There are some people who cannot be reasoned with or spoken to, and in those spaces it is best not to waste your energy fighting. Try not to put too much weight to the words of someone who you fundamentally disagree with, it's okay to choose not to engage for your own sanity or safety.

-get a remote job, so I can afford food and rent, so I can not hurt my disabled body just trying to have the money to survive with, and I can give gifts to people I care about and help my friends without worrying about what I have left, and I can afford to pay off student loans still looming over my head.

-write rp again-- I miss it so bad, but I am holding off until I get a job so I don't get sucked in and forget to be responsible. But its a goal to get back to it the minute the other part is handled.

- pay better attention. Try harder to not adhd away when someone is talking. Find methods to be an active listener, or make sure to apologize if I slip up, and show I want to hear what I missed, so the other person can feel listened to.

- take better care of my physical form. I need to eat, and to exercise and get sunlight more. Even if I have to work up to it at my own pace, it is something I have to pursue and choose to commit to, and I want to do better than half-hearted. I don't want to be bed/house-bound, unless it is something I don't have a choice in. Do what I can without causing harm to myself, and understand where my limits are.

-Keep going. Keep going. Keep going, it can get better and it can get worse, but you have to find the reasons why it's worth it to be here to ride out the lows. Keep going. It's okay, people love you, people like you being around, you'll be okay one day. Keep going. I love you.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Your fics have inspired me to write some of my own! So I was wondering if you have any tips for aspiring writers? Asking anonymously, because I'm terrified my writing is terrible and I'm shy

Hello love!

Oh, well done for wanting to make a start, I’m proud of you! Also, I’m super flattered that I could serve as inspiration for that 😊

The best advice I could give would be the following notes -

1. Remember your grammar and punctuation and try to use correctly to the best of your ability. It’s very difficult to read a story where, no matter how much storytelling ability I see within an author, the spelling and grammar are sloppy. Most people don’t expect perfection and goodness knows I still make silly mistakes even after writing for 20 years, but doing this shows a level of care for your work. Use tools such as Grammarly, or just write using Microsoft Word as it’s built in and will correct for you as you write.

2. Have a clear start and end point for your story. Without such, you will struggle. Make notes about your idea prior to beginning it, set the tone of the world you will be creating. If you’re penning an OC, this is where you begin in creating them, too! Who are they? What are their likes and dislikes, and how do such things play into the story and eventual narrative you will be creating? Notes are an imperative part of building those first foundations.

3. When you begin to write, make sure you make clear breaks for character dialogue, use properly structured paragraphs, try not to run too long on sentences (I need to take my own advice here as I do this ALL the bloody time 😂 me and my emotional support commas!) or the reader will become frustrated at wondering who is speaking and when, and huge blocks of text are also much harder to read.

4. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone and ask them to beta read for you. Just make sure that if you are opening yourself up to constructive criticism, you’re open to listening to their critique. They’re there to help you.

5. When you begin writing your characters, make sure to make them human. A trap I have seen a lot of people fall into with characterisation is making their lead faultless. Don’t do this! Show their flaws, it will make for a much more interesting read. It’s the same for if you are writing pre-existing characters not of your creation in fanfiction. Yes, essentially you are writing your own version of them, but try to remain loyal to the character they are, flaws and all.

6. Have fun with it! Befriend authors, ask for advice, find yourself a little community to be a part of. Be warned, some fandoms can be very hostile towards new people coming in, some people are very much part of a clique and they will not accept you (I’ve found that in some fandoms, and there’s people I try and engage with in the current ones that I write for who will engage with mutuals but not me) but that, my darling, is on them, not you!

7. Be prepared to put in a lot of effort to succeed. It takes time and practice, lots of self-promotion as well. If you want it enough, though, you’ll achieve. Ask, believe and receive. Believing in yourself is paramount. Again, I need to take my own advice here as I do struggle and have moments where I think I suck, but if you have faith, are willing to listen and always allow yourself the grace to improve while having faith that you can and will become better, you’re on the right path.

If you ever want any further advice, please reach out to me, babe. Or DM me if you feel brave enough to contact me without using the anon feature. I hope you do as I would love to read something you write someday! Wishing you the very best of luck here at the beginning of your literary journey 💕💕

[youngruinsking]

||WRITING POST||

Hello little tragedy!, I'm Niyeko but you can call me nyeko. I'm a young obey me writer and this post will be about what I'm willing/Not willing to write.

Please respect my boundaries if I write them here. 🤗 If you guys request anything that might trigger something, please be aware. I will put a trigger warning

||Allowed||

Oc: you are allowed to speak/explain your oc in my asks and if you allow me, I can draw them ^^ {I'm not a good artist yet} and I will post about my own oc once in awhile.

Fluff/Angst\hurt&Comfort/no comfort: these are easy to write and helps me improve my writing. :)

Experience: You are allowed to request the reaction of the obey me character of- abuse/sexual h@rassment or trauma including PTSD. However sometimes I will decline a request if I feel uncomfortable.

Rants/vent: Please DM me if you need someone to talk with, however if you are feeling like harming yourself please contact a professional or someone you can trust.

Ships: I would love to see the type of ships, you guys like! :D

||TOLERATE||

Opinions/advice; I will respect and willing to take advice or opinions on what I write or thoughts on certain topics, however I won't tolerate people being rude. Please attempt to be calm and polite in my comment section.

{None yet}

||REFUSED||

hateful comments/Requests: I won't tolerate it nor will I expect you too. I want my blog to be safe space, if you don't like what I wrote please leave.

Paedophilia; I won't nor accept requests if you shipping yourselves with a child. I will accept childxchild ships but other than that: you will be blocked and reported.

This is all I got but I will write more rules down later in the week. Thank you for reading! ^^