#like if I was him in this moment best believe no mirror would be safe in the house
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colin is stronger than me fr cause this look of hers had me barking like a dog
#bridgerton#polin#bridgerton season 3#penelope bridgerton#colin bridgerton#her waist was snatched by the gods#she even told him she loved him whilst looking like a whole five course meal#like if I was him in this moment best believe no mirror would be safe in the house
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Letâs be Honest
Simon Riley (Bodyguard) x Reader!!
(mdni 18+)
Your father is an undercover investigator working a dangerous case on a human trafficking ring. Unfortunately, they somehow discovered his intentions, and now they're out for revenge. So, theyâve put a bounty on your head, claiming youâre worth millions to whoever is able to find you and sell you to the best bidder. Despite the danger, your father canât abandon his mission as there were other lives on the line. Heâs too close to cracking the case, rescuing the victims. To protect you, he hired someone no one would see coming for them and that was going to be protecting you. He hired a Ghost.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The moment you saw the brute, you couldnât believe it. This 6â3â, 220lb, constantly masked man was supposed to be by your side for who knows how long. The sheer size of him was intimidating enough, but the mask? It kept you wondering what kind of man was beneath it.
You couldnât argue with your father, though. He wanted you safe, and you werenât about to be taken and sold off to some creep. So, you dealt with it. But now itâs been two months too long. Two damn months of constant monitoring, endless rules, and the same warnings: 'You need to listen to me Y/n,' 'Stay by my side,' or âItâs not safe.' It was honestly getting sickening at the fact he had complete control over your day to day life now.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
âI was thinking of going shopping today, get some fresh air,â you say, taking a bite of your breakfast. He stands near the window, eyes scanning the street outside like he always does. âMaybe,â he says, his voice low, almost disinterested. You roll your eyes. âJesus Christ, why not? It��s just us walking down the street, Simon.â
You started using his real name after weeks of pestering him to tell you. It felt weird calling him âGhostâ all the timeâlike something out of a video game. What good was being around someone this long if you didnât even know their name?
He glances back at you, his expression unreadable behind the maskâif thereâs an expression at all. Then, just as silently, he turns back to the window. âYou never know.â You put your fork down and stop eating, âSimon, I canât keep going days without stepping foot outside, iâm literally going insaneâ, he steps away from the window and pulls a chair out to sit beside you. âEverything I do and everything I say is to protect you, that is the whole reason I am hereâ. you looked into his hauntingly dead eyes. âPlease you canât keep me trapped in these wallsâ. You say with hesitation in your voice wondering if this will be another useless plea to let him agree for you to get out the house. He paused for a moment before nodding his head in agreement. You smile, âoh my gosh really? we can go?!â you say quickly standing from your chair in excitement. âyes. but the moment I feel something is off we leave, immediatelyâ he says sternly. You were already putting your plate away and running to your room to get ready.
You visited a few of your favorite stores near your house, picking up small items here and there. Simon stayed close, as usual, walking silently beside you. As you stepped out of another shop, he leaned in slightly, his voice low. âWeâre going to one more store, then weâre heading home. Do you understand?â You shot him a side-eye but nodded, not in the mood for another argument.
The last stop was the lingerie shopâyou had been eyeing their new fall line for weeks. You grabbed a few panties and bras before something else caught your eye: the most stunning, sexy set youâd ever seen. You had to try it on. Walking into the dressing room, you slipped out of your clothes and into the delicate lace set. The fabric felt luxurious against your skin. You peeked your head out, only seeing Simon waiting, his posture as stoic as ever. You stepped out to check yourself in the mirror, admiring the way the set hugged your curves. From the corner of his eye, Simon caught sight of you. His jaw clenched almost immediately as he tried to keep his focus elsewhere, but it was impossible. Heâd been around you every day for two months, and he had seen plentyâyour tight shirts with no bra, shorts that barely covered anything. Heâd always kept his cool, reminding himself that you were off-limits, and he took care of himself whenever you were asleep or when he took a shower. But seeing you now, in something so revealing, stirred something deeper in him that made his jeans tighten. He forced himself to remain still, but the tension in his body betrayed his thoughts. Respect for your father, the jobâthose were the only things keeping him from acting on what he felt. And he had to keep it that way, or at least he was trying to.
You caught Simonâs gaze in the mirror, and for a moment, the air between you seemed to shift. His eyes were unreadable behind the mask, but you could feel something he wasnât saying. You quickly looked away, clearing your throat. âWhat do you think?â you asked casually, but your pulse quickened. You didnât know why you even askedâit wasnât like you cared what he thought about lingerie. Or did you?
He blinked, caught off guard. âAbout what?â
âThe lingerie,â you teased, crossing your arms. âI thought Iâd get a professional opinion.â His jaw tightened more, but you caught the flicker of something in his eyes. âYou donât need my opinion.â You stepped a little closer, testing his boundaries. âMaybe I do.â He stayed still, but you could see the tension in his stance. His voice, when he spoke, was low. âYouâre making this harder than it needs to be.â You laughed lightly. âWhat? Shopping?â His eyes met yours, and for a second, there was nothing but silence between you. âNo,â he said softly, almost reluctantly. âThis.â The weight of his words hung in the air. For a moment, neither of you moved. His response was a beat too slow. âYou should hurry up,â he muttered, his voice deeper than usual. You rolled your eyes, but his tone made your skin tingle. There was something about the way he held himself that made you wonderâdid he see you the way you were starting to see him? You slipped back into the dressing room to change, but the tension lingered, thick in the air. When you came out, dressed again, Simon stood up immediately, his shoulders tense. âLetâs go.â The rest of the walk home was quiet, but you couldnât shake the feeling that something between you had shifted.
You walked into the house, setting your bags down and slipping off your shoes. Simon followed closely behind, immediately locking the door and heading to the windows like he always did, scanning the outside for any sign of danger. But your mind was elsewhere, replaying that one wordâthisâover and over again.
What did âitâ mean? You had to know.
âSimon,â you called out softly, still unable to meet his eyes. âWhat did you mean earlier?â He stiffened immediately, turning to face you. He knew exactly what you were talking about, but heâd been hoping you would let it go. He didnât mean to let that word slip out, and now he was trying to think of a way around it. âWhat do you mean?â His tone was even, but there was a slight edge to it, a hint of tension. You swallowed, gathering your courage. âYou said I was making this hard. Iâm not sure what that means⌠I want you to tell me.â Finally, you looked up at him, meeting his gaze. For a moment, Simon just stared at you, his jaw clenching and unclenching like he was fighting with himself. His silence hung in the air, thick and heavy, as though he was weighing whether or not to tell you the truth. He turned back to the window, staring outside as if it would give him the answer he needed. âYouâre making my job harder,â he said after a long pause, but there was something in his voiceâa hesitation. But you had a smirk on your face knowing exactly what it was, âit was the set wasnât it?â there was a pause, âyou thought I looked good, too good right?â you stepped closer to him testing his limits wanting more reaction out of him. âI think you should keep this fantasy shit to yourselfâ he said quickly snapping back at you, but you kept pushing, âI donât blame you Simon, I bet itâs been months since you got laid and I wonât lie itâs been a hot minute for me too with you being around me all the time, having me cooped in this houseâ you can see his brows furrowing. âyouâre crossing the god damn lineâ thatâs what he was saying but the raging boner in his pants said completely different about your attitude.
Before you knew it, he was stepping toward you, his hand gripping your arm firmly. âYouâre pushing me too far,â he said, his voice low and rough. You met his gaze, feeling a mix of fear and excitement. âMaybe I need you to push back,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The moment was charged, and without warning, one of his hands let go from your arm to lift up his mask above his nose exposing his lips. your eyes widen never seeing anything but his eyes for the last few months. Before you knew it his lips were on yours, It was intense and consuming, leaving both of you breathless and more entangled than before.
He picked you up and put you on the dining table. the kiss became more passionate with his hands tangled in your hair, you could feel your core throb waiting to be touched. Simon pulled away from you and looked into your eyes, âyou donât understand how long iâve wanted to touch youâ he says breathing heavily. âall those times you walked around with no bra and I could see your fucking nipples through your shirt and the times you walked around with your ass out, god I wanted to bend you over, iâd fuck you right there and donât even forget about the times I could here you moaning in the shower doing god knows what to that pussy, ya fuckin minxâ your cunt was practically dripping at his words, your breathing became more heavier, âThen do it Simon, bend me over and fuck meâ before you could say anymore he already was turning you over on the counter and pulling your pants down. âalready planning on it loveâ. Simon pulled your pants down then slowly pulled your panties down revealing your wet pussy. he bent down to get eye level with it bring his fingers up to your folds and playing with your clit. You moaned at his touched, âfuh-fuckâ. Simon pulled his fingers away and replaced it with his tongue, licking your throbbing clit and making you squirm.
He ate you out till you came on his mouth, âSi pleaseâ. Simon got up and looked at your bent over form while he started unbuckling his pants, âplease what love?â he already knew what you wanted and he wanted it just as bad. âfuck me hardâ he smiled at your words taking his hard cock in his hand rubbing his pre cum all over the top of his head giving it extra lubricant. He aligned his cocked to your hole and slammed into you making you jump, âShhhhhhhitâ you hiss out the word from the painful pleasure. He started to thrust in and out of you hearing your moans made him want to cum already but he couldnât, it felt too damn good to stop now. Simon bent down to your ear, âAll those fuckin times you were playing with this tight cunt in the shower, who were you thinkin about huh?â. You didnât want to answer out of embarrassment but you did it anyways, ây-you si, I thought about sucking your cock and you cumming all over my titsâ that snapped something in him when you said that, his pace picked up he started fucking you harder, his balls slapping against your clit. âwhat would ya daddy think of the man he hired to protect you fucking your pussy raw?â. You could feel your self about to cum, âSi Iâm gonna cum on your cockâ his thrust became sloppier feeling himself about to finish too, âcum baby, cumâ. Simon thrusted harder into your cunt making your back arch more and your ass jiggle against his hips the sight was pushing him over the edge, âgod damn baby iâm gonna to cumâ his hands gripped into your hips harder. âSimon cum inside me god pleaseâ. He busted a load in you, pushing his cock feel in you making sure nothing came out, âfuckin hellâ.
After the intensity of the moment subsided, Simon and you lay there in the aftermath, the room now quiet except for your shared breathing. He gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch tender. âI didnât plan for this,â Simon said softly, his voice filled with a mixture of regret and affection. âI never wanted to cross that line.â You turned to face him, your own emotions swirling. âNeither did I, but⌠it felt right in the moment. I just want to know what this means for us.â Simon looked at you with a conflicted expression. âI donât have all the answers. This situation is complicated, and Iâm still trying to figure out how to balance my feelings with my responsibilities.â he says lowly âI understand,â you replied, taking his hand in yours. âI just need to know where we stand. Do you want to try and make this work, or is this something we need to move past?â There was a pause as Simon considered his words. âI care about you more than I should,â he admitted. âBut I also need to focus on keeping you safe. Weâll have to navigate this carefully.â You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and uncertainty. âWeâll figure it out together,â you said, squeezing his hand.
âAs long as weâre honest with each other.â
#call of duty#cod smut#cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley bodyguard#bodyguard#ghost smut#ghost x reader smut#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#cod mw2#cod ghost
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It's Nice To Have A Friend
Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader
Synopsis: Remus' childhood best friend is the only person he is comfortable showing unrestrained affection towards â until he one day gets in his own head about it.
Words: 14.4k
Warnings/tags: there are some suggestive remarks, brief references to "shagging" and implied underage drinking, but i would classify it as safe for minors! fem!reader, use of y/n, childhood best friends to lovers (thus you grew up in wales and use welsh terms, but you aren't said to be welsh), you are in ravenclaw (only for one plot point, not personality), platonic physical affection, romantic physical affection, kissing, "it was revealed to me in a dream" trope, some miscommunication trope, deep yearning, remus' pov (meaning loads of self-loathing and overthinking), panic attack-ish, remus cursing like a sailor and joking about jumping, kind of shy/reserved!remus, some angst, happy ending ofc, background jilypad
Note: phew this was intense but sosososo much fun to write. it is very much a fluffy fic tho, don't be worried<3 i fucking love this story/dynamic so much
It is an ill-kept secret that Remus John Lupin struggles with romantic public displays of affection.
It was something his best friends had teased him relentlessly for since the first time he was given a Valentine Dayâs card in year two by a boy that he didnât even have a crush on mind you, and became a stuttering, spluttering mess. He could still hear James and Siriusâ barks of laughter the second that Hufflepuff was out of view and could still feel the bench shake from when Peter fell off it, clutching his stomach. Remus had been sure his cheeks would be permanently dyed red from the shame.
His one friend who did not betray him in such a manner was his oldest, namely you. Remusâ sweetheart, as Sirius called you, his childhood best friend from back home who he broke the statute of secrecy for when he was too young to realise what that meant, but who thankfully turned out to be a witch too. Something you both wept tears of joy for, as you did not have to be separated when he went off to Hogwarts.
On that horrid day, you only pinched his darkening cheeks and laughed quietly â still teasing, but in a way that felt more like admiring and less like humiliating. He faintly remembers scrunching his nose at you in response, a look you immediately mirrored before you went to hide him in the crook of your neck and gave the others a faux scolding for âembarrassing poor Rem when he is wholly capable of doing so himselfâ.Â
His makeshift pack of friends kept that routine up for the rest of his school years, consisting of James and Sirius poking constant fun, Peter enjoying it all a tad bit too much, and you âprotectingâ him while laughing all the same. His affliction only worsened throughout his time at Hogwarts, but if one of his afflictions were to be the butt of a joke, he supposed he was grateful it was this one.
In moments like these, it was a tad bit difficult to keep that sentiment up, though.
âYou should have seen the look on his face, doll!â Sirius made out through a laugh as the group made their way back from Hogsmeade.Â
He was recounting Remusâ dance on the Three Broomsticks dancefloor with one slightly-more-rowdy-than-normal Emmeline Vance who all but dragged him out there despite his quiet sputters. You had been off on some endless errands that Remus had passionately attempted to join you for before Sirius all but bolted him to the bench because âyou owe me a round, you mangy wolfâ.
âI believe I have seen it many a time, Siri,â you laughed out, yelping slightly when Remus pinched your side from where he had his arm around you. âHey!â you scolded him half-heartedly, point diminished by your grin.
âCheeky minx, donât side with the devil!â Remus conspired with you through a stage-whisper while glaring at Sirius, whose laughter only doubled in intensity.
âYou canât ask me to lie for you, del,â you replied in the same tone of voice, leaning up to kiss his cheek as if to apologise for your treachery. An apology that was wholly accepted as Remus tugged you closer into his side and allowed for the laughter around him to continue with a sigh.
Because therein lies the one exception â Remus Lupin was pathetically incapable of public displays of affection, unless they were with you.
His problem with these displayals was the insinuation behind them and the attention that was brought to him because of it. If Emmeline dances with him, leaving a scandalously little amount of room between them, he knows what she wants from him and everyone else does, too. If his current romantic partner kisses him in the hallway, it is a glimpse into something that otherwise occurs behind closed doors, a reveal of his private life that he does not enjoy. He wants that part hidden, and embarrassment flares through him like a rocket at the thought that others bear witness to it â and then the flames are stoked when they notice that he knows and has enough dignity to be embarrassed, which just fuels an eternal evil cycle.
You, however â your wonderful self he has known all his life, you who refused to ever leave his side despite his lycanthropy and subsequent grumpy, isolationist persona, you who are his absolute better half and light of his life â there was no reason that affection should be hidden. There was nothing secretive nor fragile in your relationship, it was the purest thing he had ever had the pleasure of having.
There was nothing insinuative or blasphemous about it, there was nothing to be held against him. He would hold you, hug you, even kiss your shoulder, cheek and forehead, because he and all else around knew that it meant nothing more. It was nothing out of the norm, nothing for others to point out and bring attention to. There was no glance into something hidden away, there was no line being overstepped. It was just two best friends, aware and proud of how much they meant to one another.
So Remus never had any hesitations about leaning into your touch, about seeking yours out, about lips identifying exposed skin and staying there for a moment or two. It was something he began doing before he truly knew what embarrassment entailed, it was muscle memory as much as instinct these days.
And if others did not understand it fully, that was an issue Remus for once felt no confinement to public opinion on. If people made assumptions or threw glances, it held no importance to him. Even his Marauders, Sirius especially, raised their eyebrows at your proximity when you all first met, but they understood the routine of it all quickly. That these two first years before them were a package deal in every form of the word. It was quickly accepted within your little pack, albeit fondly commented on every now and again. James had Sirius in that same unrestrained way, bodies strewn across each other at any given opportunity, so why couldnât Remus have you? Why wouldnât he?
Never mind that Sirius was officially brought into James and Lily's relationship at the end of last term.
âWell, James would hug anything that moved and seemed like it might need it.â Sirius had argued one night many years ago, not needing to add the and I need it.
âAnd isnât that lovely for Prongs,â Remus had drawled in return. âBut I need a few years to get there, and Y/N happened to be more strategic than you lot.â
âBy knowing you first?â
âPrecisely. Also, sheâs lovelier than you.âÂ
It had earned him a snort and a pillow to the face, but it was accepted without further questioning. With the exceptions only occurring in a drunken babble here and there from Sirius, alone in their dorm after a party. Remus is quite certain he couldnât string together a coherent sentence if his life depended on it in those states, and so he never took it to heart.
Remus revelled in having something of his own, someone only he understood on that level, and his heart always warmed when he thought about how lucky he was that that someone was you.
He subconsciously pulled you even closer at that thought, content and comfortable to do so whether that be around his marauders or in front of the whole Great Hall; there was nothing more to it to be embarrassed of. It was just you; just Y/N and Remus. Like always.
âYou occluding yourself away from your menace of a dorm mate?â you whispered to him then, and he angled his chin down slightly with a smile to find you looking at him curiously.
âOh, yeah,â Remus agreed with a solemn nod. âMust prepare for being locked up in a room with him all night. Itâs tedious work, you know?â
âMost certainly.â You attempted to match his faux severity, but a giggle escaped you nonetheless â a beautiful one that Remus decided to mentally save for the night, should Sirius become unbearable.
Speaking of; âI take great offence to that,â Sirius proclaimed from the few strides ahead he was, pointing his finger in Remusâ direction without turning around. âDog-like hearing, Moony, donât think you can get away with badmouthing me here!â
âDog-like he says,â Remus whispered to you, earning him an indignant âoi!â as Sirius finally turned around.
âGorgeous, would you tell your worse half to knock it off?â
âI sure will,â you declared, turning your body more towards Sirius in Remusâ grasp. âSiri, sweetheart, would you knock it off?â
Within the second, Siriusâ offended expression transformed into one of giddiness. âAwe, princess, you think of me as your other half?â
âWorse half, Pads,â James interjected, looking over his shoulder bemusedly.
âDo keep up,â Remus added with a half-hearted glare.
âIrrelevant!â Sirius threw his hands up and spun around in celebration. âI have won the title of her other half, you can get lost Moons.â
Remus used his arm around your shoulders to angle you back away from Sirius. âI think not. Iâve been keeping this friendship for so long, sheâll need a lawyer to get rid of me,â he stated matter-of-factly, looking down at you at the last bit. âCapiche?â He tilted his head at you.
You hummed through a poorly-withheld smile, as if you were considering it. âSure thing, cariad. Meet with our lawyers tomorrow after lunch?â
Remus gasped as you ripped out of his grasp and stuck your tongue out at him. Flashbacks of your younger days chasing each other down dirt roads came to his mind and widened his grin as he saw you back away from him, eyes trained on his expression.Â
âMinx,â he breathed out through a laugh just before you sat off running away from him; Remus hot on your heels, laughter escaping him freely. Sirius began running with you, though he was slowed as he twirled around and hollered, surely waking the entirety of the mountaintops surrounding the castle.
James had been minding his own business for once as he engaged in quiet conversation with Lily and Pandora, but his eyes twinkled as he eyed his three running friends, exchanging a knowing look with the redhead.
âYoung love,â Pandora sighed dreamily, though James could never be certain if she was looking at the loud, carefree forms before them or at something entirely different.
Remus saw you stopped running while still some dozens of metres away from the castle, still facing away from him, but arms opening to accommodate for the impending crash of his body against yours. It does something funny to his heart to think about, but he just lets it widen his smile as he did exactly as expected â let his arms loop around your waist and twirl you around as he caught up to you.Â
Your out-of-breath giggles permeated into his ears as his face was tucked in between your neck and shoulder as he slowed down, laughter calming in his own chest.
âCaught you,â he whispered through his own breathlessness. âHappy now?â
You turned in his grasp, squeezing at his shoulders both to show affection and seemingly to steady yourself as your chest still heaved; Remus held you tighter to help you in the latter endeavour. âShook off Sirius for a bit, so yeah, I am. As should you be.â
He dropped his head laughing at that, glancing behind him through his hair to see Sirius bent over, hands on his knees as James had already caught up to him and was patting his back in sympathy. Any other time of the month, Remus would likely have been right there with him, but this was a good week and you always seemed to be able to find some semblance of energy within him, even if he thought he had none.
âI take back my calling you minx, then.â He looked at you with a smile. âThat was strategic.â
âAre you saying minxes canât be strategic, Loopy?â You raised your eyebrows at him teasingly, pulling slightly out of his grasp to breathe better.
âIâm sayingâ donât call me Loopy.â
Your smile became almost taunting at that, and Remus knew his comment likely only worsened the likelihood of you using that nickname now. âI just remembered how I used to call you that the other day actually,â you mused, putting on an innocent smile. âI donât remember why I stopped, I just forgot about it. I think it might be time for a renaissance.âÂ
âI think Iâm too out of breath for you to say things like that. I canât chase you any further, but that deserves to be chased.â
You shoved lightly at his shoulder at that. âYouâre getting too old, youâre no fun.â
âIâm super fun. Textbook definition,â Remus harrumphed, gleaning when you rolled your eyes through a burst of laughter.
âNo one who references textbook definitions is fun, Moons!â James called from where the group was catching up to you two, finally within earshot.Â
Sirius was practically draped across Jamesâ shoulder, breath still coming heavy. He pointed yet another accusatory finger, this time at you. âYouâll be the death of me, dollface. Merlinâs tits.â
âDonât blame me for your own inadequacy, gorgeous,â you quipped back. It made Remus rather proud, especially when Sirius groaned dramatically in response.
âTime to get some beauty sleep then, yeah?â James coaxed, giving Siriusâ cheek a peck as he continued effortlessly dragging him in through the entrance of the castle.
Lily hummed in agreement, poking one of her boyfriends in the side. âYeah, Sirius seems to need it.â
âYou think Iâm so sexy, Red, donât lie to yourself,â Sirius mumbled, petulantly remaining worn out over Jamesâ shoulders.
Remus smiled at his friends, hand reaching out behind him blindly, knowing youâd find it. Surely enough, your fingers intertwined with his own and gave him a little tug to hasten his gait down the hallways.
Moving up the staircases with surprisingly little trouble, the group finally found themselves outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, ready to split up with you and Pandora heading to Ravenclaw and the rest clambering inside.Â
You made your goodbyes, quick hugs and kisses on cheeks with Lily and James and a kiss to the hand from Sirius who had decided to lay down dramatically on the floor. When you turned to Remus at last, just a tad bit away from the others, he enveloped you in a warm hug, breathing you in as he settled his chin on your shoulder.
âLet me walk you?â he asked, already knowing you would say no.
âNice try Loopy, but Iâd rather you go inside to the warmth and head to bed,â you murmured into his neck. âThank you, though.â
You always said no. He always asked, anyway. Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly protective or otherwise missed you too much, heâd go with you anyway. Today he decided to respect your wishes.
âTell me again why you had to be an independent person and get sorted into your own house?â he grumbled against you, smiling when he felt your chest rumbling beneath him. That same smile softened when your grip on him grew just the slightest bit tighter.
âSomething tells me youâll survive.âÂ
He tightened his hold on you in turn, one arm around your waist and the other stabilising your neck, before he spun your body around twice, twirling along the hallway. He relished in the laughter that escaped you and ensured to stamp a proper kiss to your hair before he released you back down to the floor.
âSleep well, dove.â
âGoodnight, cariad,â you said through a soft smile, giving him and the others a small wave before turning around to where Pandora was waiting, grabbing her hand as you two all but skipped down the hallway together.
With his eyes still glued on your disappearing form, Remus nearly yelped as Jamesâ hands came up to settle roughly on his shoulders â albeit somewhat careful of his joints â steering him through the now-opened portrait, who was rambling on with complaints about students taking up the space in front of her for too long.
âFunny that,â James started.Â
Remus gave him a puzzled look. âWhat, Prongs?â
âJust that you danced with one Ravenclaw at the Three Broomsticks for two minutes and gained the colour and conversational skills of a tomato; but when you twirl and kiss this Ravenclaw, all youâre left with is that goofy grin of yours.â Jamesâ comment seemed off-handed, said over his shoulder as they walked through the empty common room.
âFirst of all, itâs Y/N weâre talking about and not some Ravenclaw,â he started, confusion laced in his voice. In the meantime, James and Sirius kissed Lily goodbye, the latter giving her bum a light tap as she moved up the stairs to the girlsâ dorms. âSecondly, itâs Y/N. Sheâs my best friend, and one of yours, mind you. Whatâs there to go all tomato for?â
âSome would argue, there is never any reason to go all tomato,â Sirius taunted, ducking the smack Remus aimed towards him.
âYeah, yeah, I know,â James laughed, literally waving it off. âJust pointing out the parallel. Ironic, innit?â
âDonât see why it would be,â Remus grumbled petulantly in return. Sirius reached up to ruffle his hair somewhat roughly before entering their dorm, where Peter was already waiting for them, tucked into bed.
âWhatâre we laughing about tonight, fellas?â he questioned without looking up from the magazine he was reading through. Remus was fairly certain he had seen Mary reading through that very same magazine last week.
âOh just at Remusâ peculiarities with birds.â Sirius felt emboldened with his comment from where he was crouched behind his bed â ample distance to protect him from Remus, he surely gathered.
âSo, nothing new? Nice.â Peter returned his attention to the magazine it never really left.
âYeah, donât worry Pete â your friends are just as big arseholes as on any other day.â Remus bent down to pat the boy on the shoulder before moving over to his own bed, between Peter and Siriusâ.Â
âHey, I donât mean to be an arsehole,â James complained with almost a full pout across his lips within a second of Remusâ comment. âWeâre just having a bit of fun psychoanalysing you, sâall.â
âWhich, of course, is a generally accepted polite thing to do.â Remus nodded as if he was gravely understanding, only flipping James off when the other boy didnât catch his sarcasm.
âNo, Remmy, what would be rude is to point out how you are desperatelyââ Sirius began with taunting mirth plastered all over his face, but he was cut off as James all but jumped on him to cover his mouth.Â
The black haired boy looked up at his boyfriend first with some offence and then a look Remus didnât want to witness.
âHow about we leave poor Moony alone for the night, huh baby?â James questioned, moving his hand away from Siriusâ mouth as the other boy nodded almost dumbly, still staring up at him.
âWhoâs turning red now?â Remus whispered to himself as he looked through his trunk for his pyjamas. He barely had the reflexes to catch the pillow Sirius hurled at him, tossing it back with a loud laugh that was quickly reciprocated by his best mates.
As if a miracle had been awarded them by some forgiving gods, the boysâ dorm room quieted down fairly quickly after that. Sirius and James settled in Siriusâ bed for the night, barely fitting themselves onto the mattress that was almost too small for one boy, let alone two. Once in each otherâs arms, however, it was an easy thing to drift off. Peter was asleep before the other three had even brushed their teeth.
Remus was the only one tossing. Not unusual, but he couldnât really understand why that was tonight.Â
His sleep cycle often closely followed the moonâs, and he was almost two weeks away from the full moon, a perfectly decent time for falling and staying asleep. Tonight, though, his body was once more fighting him. He kept replaying the night, the conversations, the interactions, trying to pin his unrest on something. He supposed that dance with Vance had been unexpected and the adrenaline spike of all the attention following it might still linger and make sleep evade him.Â
Despite what his dismay for public romantic displays might indicate, Remus was no prude. As a matter of fact, just as Sirius had before he was locked down, Remus was no stranger to making his rounds at the occasional common room party. Rarer was it that he shagged anyone back home, as he spent most of his time with you, but it had happened here and there too. Vance and him had even spent a night together once at a quidditch afterparty, but he had no significant interest in her apart from a mutually understood night of fun. He never really did, even when his partners were great in all capacities. It just didnât seem that romance was an object for Remus â and good riddance, if the struggles of dealing with it so far was any sign.
Perhaps that was it then, dancing with Vance had rehashed something for him. Though the idea didnât settle well in his bones, Remus also knew that he would never settle if he didnât give his mind an excuse for his sudden restlessness.
After checking the time with a hefty sigh, he decided to throw in the towel and took a small sip of a sleeping draught potion he had at the ready in his bedside table at all times. If sleep would not come to him, he would hunt it down damn it. His friendsâ playful mockery and a dance he didnât even want to partake in would not cause him any more torment.
As Remus slipped into the land of dreams, he may come to regret that sentiment, if but a bit.
There are warm bodies pressed uncomfortably close to him â the warmest of which has her arms around his neck, one hand scraping through his hair. It should feel good, Remus enjoys when his hair is played with, but this feels sharp enough to draw blood. Emmelineâs laugh is all he can make out over the chatter and stomping around him, but it feels wrong, scratchy like a record player. Her fingers on him are cold, unlike anything else in the room.
It is spinning. The room, that is. Remus is unfocused, as if he had been shooting vodka and not butterbeer earlier. He canât quite make out any of his friends, or anyone really, Emmelineâs features bleeding out into the background.
For some reason his heart is pounding the way it does before his transformation. Everything feels painfully wrong and he is aware of every inch of his body where Emmeline is touching him.
She is still laughing and Remus is sure it would make his ears bleed, which only confuses him further because Emmeline is truly a nice girl. Just not one he wants to feel flush against himself at the moment.
He reaches a hand up to touch his ear â realising only now that his arms are hanging limply by his sides, the only static thing in the otherwise spinning room â and when he retracts his hand to look at it, his fingers are coated with blood.
His breathing grows ragged as he feels the blood running down the side of his neck. He has half a mind to tell Emmeline, to shout for help. He doesnât. Nothing comes out when he tries to open his mouth, all control of his body ripped from his grasp.
With no warning he realises the wetness on his neck is not blood, but someoneâs open mouth smearing kisses down it with reckless abandon. His stomach ties in knots and he wants to push Emmeline off of him, still to no avail.
Her grip on him tightens painfully, and Remus swears he feels a bone break. He would know.
The flurry behind her has just become a swirl of colours and sounds to him and Remus feels himself drowning in a moment he desperately wants away from. He shuts his eyes hard, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself.
He feels a warmth in his chest, starkly different from the heat around him, that slowly, like thawing ice, begins to spread throughout him. He hums the melody you sang to him during his first ever panic attack, the sweet one that always lulls him to sleep, and the warmth spreads faster.
With his eyes still screwed shut, Remus begins to regain the feeling in his legs first, noticing them swaying back and forth to some calmer, unknown rhythm.
The feeling in his hand returns too, and itâs clasped around someone else's. Theirs is also warm, light and fits much better in his, though heâs not quite sure what heâs comparing it to.
The front of his body is warmer than the back as heâs pressed up against someone, swaying with them in a slow dance that would never have worked in the middle of Three Broomsticks. It flows with his soul.
At last, Remus can hear again, as if coming up from water. He hears that it was not him humming, but rather a soft figure tucked under his chin, humming the vibrations of the melody against the side of his neck.
When he tightens his arms instinctively, he does not need to open his eyes to know it is you.
He does anyway, looking down at you, standing in his arms, swaying together in an empty Gryffindor common room. There is a lazy smile on your lips as you look up at him, cheek against his chest, eyes twinkling like the starlight.
Remus feels right. Remus feels good. His thoughts are honey, sweet but slow, coating over any coherent reactions he might have to standing here with you like this. He escaped and he is with you and all is right once more.
Have you danced like this before? Did it feel like this then?
You seem unpuzzled, relaxed. The warmth settles in Remus for good.
âHey handsome,â you whispered, as if you were sharing a secret with him before angling your face more up towards his.
Remus is not in charge of his body when his neck dips down and lets his lips meet yours halfway, casual and expectantly, a habit as much as a wish. You taste like yourself. You smell like yourself. Remus is surrounded by you, cornered by your smile against his lips.
You pull back all too quickly, furrowing your brows at him. Dream-Remus has no hesitation of removing the hand from around your back to thumb at the furrow, brushing away any negative thoughts from you. He kisses the spot between your eyebrows.
Everything is right.
When his eyes meet yours again, the concerned look in them has not changed. You reach a tentative hand up to his cheek, thumb swiping over his cheekbone as you hold him with what he irrevocably knows to be love.Â
âItâs time to wake up, cariad,â you said with a small sad smile.
The last thing Remus remembers is the feeling of the floor disappearing beneath him.
Remus sat up with a gasp, and for a rare moment in time he was speechless.
He was not a stranger to invasive, questionable or downright spiritual dreams, a side effect of both his connection with the moon and the tons of potions he has taken over the years. Usually, he is present in his dreams and acts as his own little commentator during and after them, narrating what happens and what he thinks of it.
It was not uncommon for him to think âI think I will remember this oneâ as the final thought in a dream. Or when he wakes up in tears, his first thought was often âthat was a bit dramatic of you, calm downâ.
Now, he had nothing. Now, he was speechless.
Worse yet, usually when he wakes up with a jolt, it is in the middle of the night â but now, as his senses began to trickle back in, he could hear the commotion around him that only could mean the boys are at various stages in the process of getting ready.
Remus Lupin had just had a life-altering, earth-shattering dream, and James Fleamont Potter was repeatedly knocking his knee into his nightstand as he jumped around while tying his shoes on, instead of sitting down to do it like a normal person would.
He thought James was saying something, and maybe even to Remus specifically, but he could still hear the blood rushing through his head. Beneath that again, he could hear your humming.Â
With a groan, Remus let himself topple over from his sitting position to land face-first into his duvet.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck?
âOi!â Remus finally heard, as what felt like a rolled up pair of socks hit his head. âWhat in Godrickâs name has gotten into you, mate? You good?â It was Sirius voice calling, seemingly from across the room.
Remus just groaned in reply. His eyes were wide open as he stared directly into his sheets, feeling both freezing cold and like his brain was slowed by a fever.
âYou okay, Moons?â Peterâs voice came gentler from beside him. Remus thought his hand might be hovering near him, as if he was considering consolingly patting him but was unsure if he should.
Another groan.
âOkay, what about this: groan once if this is Moony mooning over something and twice if youâre in actual crisis,â James suggested, not unkindly.
A singular groan, though it sure did feel like two.
âGroan once if youâre a prick and twice if youâre insufferable,â Sirius felt the need to comment.
Instead of making any further sounds, Remus wrangled his arm from beneath the blanket to show Sirius how he felt about him in the moment with a gesture.
âFantastic!â James exclaimed. âYou have class in 35 minutes, Moons, and breakfast now, so best get a move on.â Remus heard the telltale sound of James leaving â as in, Jamesâ heavy footsteps moving across the floor and Sirius scrambling like a dog to follow after him. At the complete lack of sounds in the rooms after that, he assumed Peter moused after them as well.
At last Remus sat up with a sigh and stared emptily in front of him, mind moving too fast for him to catch a thought but too slow for him to properly process anything.
What does this mean?Â
Except Remus could no longer deny that he knew what it meant. That the instant your humming caressed his ears, he knew what it meant. That his subconsciousness wanted to replace a girl who saw him as a romantic prospect in a place Remus felt queasy in with you in a place he considered home. That is no coincidence.
And that when you kissed himâ
Except you did not kiss him. Remus shook his head at that, as if the thoughts could just tumble out of his ears. You did not kiss him and he did not kiss you. Because this was a dream, it was not real and Remus must just be really, really unwell.
He felt unwell, but not in the way he was trying to convince himself.
Taking one deep breath, Remus looked to the awning of their little dormitory and shot out a silent prayer for any higher power to listen.
Put me back together, I cannot fall apart like this.
Bury this back down deep, I cannot feel like this.
It was going to be a long day.
âââ ââ
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â âââ
By the time Remus had made it to the entryway to the Great Hall, feeling frazzled and less put together than he had an excuse to, he saw his group of friends making their way out.
âRem!â It was you who caught sight of him first, and immediately beelined towards him, the others following closely behind, wearing varying degrees of concern and confusion as they looked him up and down.
Your face was by far the most concerned, as you immediately brought your left hand up to cup his cheek. âAre you alright, cariad?â
For the first time in your almost two decades of friendship, Remus was painfully aware of your physical proximity.
He always knew, of course, but it never really registered with him â it was completely natural. Right now, nothing about him felt natural. You stood flush with him and he felt you against him like a fire, skin singeing beneath his clothes. Your eyes seemed so big looking into his that he could get lost in them, his only internal monologue being a dreamy sigh and a long string of curse words at the absolute madhouse chaos that his mind was becoming. As he looked at you, it was like he could see his version of you from his dream as well, how you looked at him with so much love and admiration, how your lips inched closer to his.
âMate?â Remus realised then, that he had been staring at you for far too long, not answering your question, to the point where James had to try to catch his attention.
âIâ uh,â Remus sputtered, eyes flickering wildly all over your face, panic rising in his chest as he realised he could not think clearly with you so close.
He took a step back without thinking, just barely out of your grasp but still close, and shook his head. âSorry, yeah, no, yes, I just feel a bit⌠off today.â
The furrow between your brows deepend, and once more his mind flashed back to his dream. His hand twitched. It seemed like you werenât even aware of it when you took a step closer, to be back by his side, reaching your wrist up to place it on his forehead to feel his temperature. âYouâre feeling poorly?â you whispered so quietly and so lovingly Remus thought he might faint.
Was it always like this? It was always like this. Why was he freaking out about it then? He was freaking out. What the fuck was wrong with him?
With horror, Remus realised that a slight blush was creeping up his neck, and he fought hell to keep it down as he cleared his throat. âJust a little, uh, dove, itâs nothing to worry about.â
âDo you want to go lay down?â You began what he knew would be a string of suggestions for things to do to make him feel better, and he could not stand watching you be so concerned when he was lying to you.
Almost like a flinch, he pulled back out of your arms â properly this time, taking several strides backwards away from the group. It barely registered with him that James and Sirius were looking at him with some confused amusement while Lily looked sympathetic.
âI, erm, will be fine, yeah? Nothing to worry about.â Without properly looking, he reached an arm out to grab Peter by the shoulder and all but manhandled him to his side. âPeter and I have Herbology now, but uh, Iâll catch you later?â
Remus hated how everything he said sounded like a question, like he was running a lie by you for you to confirm if it was believable. Remus hated that he couldnât tear his gaze away from your face for more than a few seconds and most of all he hated that he was spiraling under the weight of your gaze in turn. A horrible combination.
âTake care, Rem,â you whispered as he all but ran away from you, hauling Peter along.
You stood looking after him for a moment, only turning your head when you felt Lilyâs reassuring hand on your shoulder to find a small smile on her face.
âWhat in the buggering hell was that?â Sirius questioned, looking mostly at you for an answer.
âI donât know,â you said, honestly. Had you known, you might still not have told him, though, if you thought Remus wouldnât want you to. âI usually always know about his moods before they come, but this has me stumped,â you murmured, mostly to yourself.
âHe woke up weirdly,â James mused, rubbing his hand across his chin. âI guess weâll just see where the day goes, yeah?â
The four of you nodded at each other, but you still gnawed on your lip in concern, glancing over your shoulder to where he disappeared.Â
Whatever it was, you hoped he would come talk with you about it when he was ready.
âââ ââ
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Remus only had one hour to compose himself during Herbology before he had Charms with you. Sharing most of his classes with you was something he had always considered a blessing, and while that sentiment would likely never fade, it was also causing him some distress as he almost toppled the work desk with his jittering.
Peter didnât question him, but Remusâ obvious nerves were apparently contagious for the anxious boy who jittered right along with him, casting him the occasional glance.
Letting his elbows fall heavily on the desk, Remus put his head in his hands and ignored the instructions Professor Sprout was walking them through â he would let Peter pick up the slack for once and then subsequently accept the lower marks. Right now, Remus had to think and get his shit together.
He breathed his way through some panic exercises and pictured you in his mind. It almost brought a smile to his lips in an instant and for the first time, he let the realisation of how irrevocably wrecked for you he was.
Has it always been like this? Why have I never put this into words before? How can I revert back?
In that moment, Remus decided two things. Firstly, there was no possibility of you returning his feelings nor would he ever expect you to. It was true that you accepted and loved him in a way he never could quite believe himself deserving of, but that in itself is testament that it couldnât be any more. What you gave him was already too much, it would be unthinkable for you to harbour even deeper feelings for him.
Second, and most importantly, he could not lose you. Remus has made many mistakes in his time, but he could not live with himself if he lost you. It would be too much. Because regardless of the fact that he now knew he wasâ that he now knew what he knew, the friendship between you was the most important thing. It was Remus and Y/N, right?
He could not be weird and sputtering, he could not make you uncomfortable. Meaning, he could not withdraw from you despite his instinct to run and hide. Shame burned within him at the thought that even if he could withdraw he didnât know if he could fight his want not to. You were muscle memory.
Remus opened his eyes and slowly dragged his palms down his face in resolution. He would have to act as if nothing was wrong, and he would have to lie through his bloody teeth to explain away whatever bodily reactions he has.
If he starts stammering, he will have to shut up and lie that he is tired. If he becomes an embarrassing shade of auburn, he will have to cough and lie that he might be coming down with a fever. If he shakes, it is because of lack of sleep. If he, Merlin forbids, cries, he will have to claim he must be coming down with some odd moonsickness. You will surely follow him to Madam Pomfrey and maybe it will be easier when youâre alone.
Or maybe it will be worse.
No matter which it was, Remus would have to soldier it, for your sake. You did not deserve his imposing infatuation, but you also did not deserve to lose what you thought to be a loyal friend.
When him and Peter packed up the barely-used desk and mumbled a goodbye to a disapproving Sprout in the door, Remus made it his mission to focus on his breathing again as he almost ran down the hallways to where your friend group always met up outside the Charms classroom.
Be normal, be normal, be normal.
Your eyes found him the second he rounded the final corner, almost as if you had been watching it, waiting for him. A beautiful smile lit up on your face as soon as you saw him, albeit a bit dampened by the worry in your eyes â he simultaneously wanted desperately to soothe you while also berating himself for it being there. His fault.
âHey dovey.â He forced his words to be casual, his smile to be measured as he strode up beside you.Â
This is where he is supposed to drag you into a sideways hug, squeezing your hips while dropping a kiss on the top of your head, causing Sirius to make some quip about âyou were literally just gone an hour. He stood beside you perhaps a beat too long before he began to do so with shaking hands, and he felt your burning look as you studied him. Remus made it all the way up to where he would kiss your head before he chickened out due to the tornado screaming in his stomach.
âHi, Rem,â you all but whispered, your words just for him. You opened your mouth to say more, but he was afraid of what it would be.
âWaited long?â he asked to distract you from it.
âNah,â you said and leaned further into his side. âBut Iâm glad youâre here now. Howâre you feeling?â
At that, he saw Peter, Sirius, James and Lily â who had been stuck in their own little world â look up and try to hear what he has to say. Remus crumbled under their watchful gazes, knowing they knew him well enough to pick apart his every little reaction. He cleared his throat.
âI donât really know,â he settled for. âMy headâs murky, didnât sleep well.â
You made a soft cooing sound and started rubbing circles on the side of his hip from where your arms were circled around him. It knocked a wave of dizziness into him that made him want to take a step back to lean against the cold stone wall behind you. In replacement he settled for holding onto you tighter; it only made it worse.
âAre you sure you donât want to go lay down? Merlin knows we wonât be missing out on anything with the way Flitwick rambles away any sense he might have.â
This is where Remus would laugh heartily at your obvious disdain for the professor that he never truly understood. Instead, his mind zeroed in on one word you said.
We. We, we, we, we.
Circeâs tits, did he want to take you up on that.
He swallowed, acutely aware that you must have heard the sound when stood so close to him, though you didnât give away any reaction. To buy himself a moment to collect his thoughts, Remus finally dared tilt his chin downwards to kiss the top of your head. It might have been too slow, too tentative, but his heart was beating so fast the rest of his body felt too slowed down in comparison. He hoped you thought the kiss was a thank you for caring and not the nervous stall it was. He hoped he wouldnât be eternally damned for breathing in the scent of you.
âIâm quite alright, dove,â he murmured instead, furiously avoiding the surely questioning gazes of his other friends. âThank you, though.â
You grumbled some but didnât push him on it. He silently thanked you for that, too.
His throat was too parched to partake in the silent banter amongst his friends as you walked into Charms, too focused on where your bodies brushed as you walked, too deafened by the sound of your laughter.
You sat down in your regular spots, you and Remus side by side in the front, with Sirius and James behind you and Lily and Mary to your right. This was normal, this was alright. Flitwick droned on about the theoretics and debates around the charms you learned last lesson, it went in one ear and out the other.
Absentmindedly, you had grabbed Remusâ hand lightly between yours and were tracing soothing circles along his wrist and palm. You meant so well, and this would have cured likely any other ailment Remus struggled with, but right now there were fireworks going off in his head.
Taking advantage of the notice Dumbledore had given all of his professors to not call Remus out on sleeping in class, he folded his arms and laid his head down on them, carefully not to take his hand away from you. If he could shield his face, he could probably talk himself down before class ended.
In the solitude of his arms, he could picture it was just the two of you, sitting in the treehouse you built between your houses as children. If he focused enough, he could smell the apples that grew around him and feel the rough wood beneath his stomach. There, your hand would still be in his, maybe even your cheek on his chest, and it would be alright. It would all be alright because it was just you, and Remus could play dumb and he would never have to realise his feelings and fuck himself over.
It almost worked. Until he was interrupted.
âPsst! L/N?â The whisper was laced with a laughter Remus knew too well and did not care for.
You clearly ignored it â Remus could practically see the eye roll you surely threw his way â but that wasnât enough to stop his theatrics.
âL/N!â Barty called once more from a couple seats behind you to your right, voice threatening to alert Flitwick to your inattention. âWhatâs wrong with your dog?â
âWhat?â you whispered back in equal parts confusion and irritation.
âYour puppy, Lupin,â Barty said, as if it was obvious. Unfortunately, Remus could picture his eye roll too, though his stomach was turning for a wholly different reason. âWhatâs wrong with it?â
âRemus is quite alright, Junior,â you hissed back, hand tightening on Remusâ at the same time as he loosened it. âAnd donât call him a dog.â
Remus slowly lifted his head from his arms and took back his hands to wipe harshly at his face, still not looking towards Junior who barked a low laugh.
âFollows you around like one. Wouldnât surprise me if you had some invisible leash going onââ Barty quipped, cutting himself off before you could respond and turning to Evan Rosier sitting beside him. âOooooh, an invisible leash is a marvellous idea, Rosie.â
It was clear you had lost his attention, but Remusâ face still burned painfully as he shifted in his seat. With a harrumphing sound, you turned to look at him. He didnât meet your eye, couldnât.
âIgnore him.â Remus always marvelled at how you manage to convey your frustration and care at the same time.
He just hummed in the affirmative, still wiping a bit harshly at his face. If he treated it harshly enough, could he blame his violent flush on it?
âCariad,â you mumbled, gently taking his hands away from his face, clearly spotting his efforts.
He saw your furrowed eyebrows looking at him, and that was the end of what he could take for the lesson. As you opened your mouth, surely to inquire about how he is, like the beautifully kind person he knows you to be, he pushed his chair backwards.
âI think I should probably listen to you and go lay down, dove,â he murmured, avoiding your gaze. Before you could shoot in and say you would come with him, he continued. âCan you please take notes for me in Transfiguration after this?âÂ
An indirect rejection, a plea for isolation. He didnât look at your face as he gathered his things, waiting for you to respond instead.
âSure, if thatâs what you want,â you said carefully.
What I want is you.
âYes, please.â Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and pressed a parting goodbye kiss to your cheek, tradition. âThank you, love.â
Then he was sneaking his way out around the desks, barely catching a murmured voice he knew to be Siriusâ, likely leaning forward to ask you about him. His lips singed.
âââ ââ
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Remus hid away in his room for two hours, actually being truthful and trying to get a nap in. The dorm room felt serendipitous, being swept up in rare silence and a grace of darkness as he trickled in and out of consciousness. If he dreamed more of you, he would not admit it.
Any semblance of reprieve he might have chased down was ripped away from him by the creaking of the door and the wall of sound that followed his three favourite boys who always got on his last three nerves.
âOi, Moons!â Sirius exclaimed, far too cheerily. âYou know the rules!â
Remus propped his head up on his elbow from where he was sprawled on his stomach, looking blearily at the three figures as they situated themselves within the dorm. âThe rule to not wake a sleeping sod? Yes, Iâm the only one who knows that rule it seems.â
Sirius took off his sweater as he discarded his uniform and used it to swat at Remus. âNope! No wallowing on your own. Sharing is caring.â
ââM not wallowing,â Remus grumbled as he let his head fall back into his pillow.
Letting his guard down was undoubtedly a mistake because the second Sirius was out of sight, he had the audacity to jump into Remusâ bed, nearly flinging him off from the impact. Both Sirius and James were laughing boisterously as Sirius collapsed on top of Remus and ruffled his hair when he tried to shove him off. âNot anymore, no, we wonât let you.âÂ
Remus hated that he loved them.
âPrecisely,â James added as he pointed at Remus from where he was changing into his non-uniform clothes as well. âSo either speak your mind or perk up, buttercup.â
Remus groaned but let Sirius drag him up into a sitting position. âCan a poor lycanthrope not have one off day without you lot getting your knickers in a twist?â Despite his best efforts, there was no ire in his voice.
âNope!â James said, popping the p. âNot on our watch.â
âLife is simply miserable without our Moony,â Sirius said, clutching his chest as if he was ailing. âAnd do you have any idea how weird it is to see your sweetheart without you by her side? Itâs like watching a cut up picture.â
All humour that had been creeping into Remusâ expression was washed away in and instant as he swallowed harshly, suddenly averting his gaze from Sirius. Instead, James caught it, who looked at him with big eyes behind his glasses, cocking his head to the side. He looked far too much like the stag he is, before his mouth opened in a small gasp. âOh,â he whispered softly.
Remusâ heart was beating painfully hard at the look of realisation that crossed his face, turning back to Sirius who had a similar knowing, almost pitying look in his eyes. No, no, no, no.
âIâll be fine, you, erm, wonât have to live without me much longer,â Remus tried to volley back, just a few seconds too late, tongue feeling heavy at being found out.
If his best mates could see through him that quickly, then you probably already had. He had half a mind to take you up to the Astronomy Tower like old times, so he could apologise and then jump off as an act of redemption.
Sirius gave his shoulder a rough squeeze, shaking him a little as if he knew what was going through his mind. âFantastic. Then youâll join us for our free periods, yeah? And the party later tonight?â
Still somewhat sputtering, Remusâ eyes widened to an extent he was sure was comedic. âThe paâ the party?â
James smiled at him. âYeah, Moons. Gryffindor half-term party? That we have talked about all week?â
âMerlin, maybe Pomfrey needs to go easy on the potions she gives you,â Sirius teased, getting up to finish changing.
âOr she could give me more,â Remus whispered hopefully, earning him a round of chuckles.Â
âYouâll be fine, Rem,â James said, with an undertone Remus did not care for. âIf youâre still feeling⌠off throughout the day and night, you can always snuggle up with a book and ignore us hooligans.â Then, almost as if he was testing the waters. âIâm sure Y/N would love to join you.â
Remus didnât deign any of that with a response, but he suddenly thought he should get out of his bed so his face didnât seem so red in contrast with the white sheets.
âI have some essays to knock out, so yeah, Iâll join you to study,â Remus relented. He opened his own trunk to get changed, but decided to half-ass it and just take off his tie and replace his uniform wool with one of his own patterned jumpers.
âAnd for the party later!â Sirius corrected, ensuring Remus didnât think he could back out.
âSure, sure.â He ruffled his own hair so it was Remus-messy and not Sirius-messed-up-my-hair-messy. âLetâs just go.â
âââ ââ
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â âââ
Considering the extent to which he could fuck this up for himself, Remus reckoned he had been doing fairly good keeping his shit together throughout the day.
If he mentally cursed more than normal, contemplated the murder of each one of his friends including himself and generally couldnât breathe, well, that was merely part of it.
The whole lot had shacked up in the library for the triple free periods you had back to back on Fridays. While you doted concernedly over him for the first thirty minutes, you eased up once you seemed to decide that this wasnât Remus shoving down some lycanthropy-struggles and avoiding support and help.Â
As always, the two of you sat in the love seat, your legs sprawled over his lap as you read through your textbooks in the oddest positions. This was usually something he might chide you for â âyour neck will hurt if you hang over the edge like that, loveâ â but today he buried his face into his textbooks with all his might to not seem like he was aware of your body. He was, of course, you burned over his skin and lit up his heart, and Circeâs tits was he the stupidest sod in the whole castle.
Nonetheless, he made it through all three hours, engaging in comforting banter and low laughs with his best mates. When you teamed up with him to mess with Sirius, he at least knew that you werenât upset with him in any way, even though he was being a lunatic today, even though he most definitely would have deserved it.
What Remus knew would be his breaking point was the Gryffindor party.
It was a laid back event, a party thrown for all of Gryffindor, though it was mostly the upper years who were encouraged to attend. They arranged it halfway through every term to celebrate making it through and engaging with each other. Meaning, most people didnât get shitfaced but there was some good bubbling energy maintained throughout the whole night.
You and Remus had a tradition for how you dealt with parties â just as you had a tradition for pretty much everything, he had come to notice. Gods, he lovâ Stop it.
Neither one of you were necessarily fond of large crowds, but you both were incredibly loyal and fond of your friends and wanted to spend time with them. Thus, you attended the parties, but you always did so together. The more uncomfortable you got, the closer you would get to each other, and if one ever needed a break, they would tap the other three times and they would make up an excuse to usher them out of there.
It had never felt so unnerving to be so known.
Throughout the whole party he had been jittery, head rushing with thoughts. He desperately tried not to take in your outfit and then he desperately tried not to read into it when you seemed disappointed he didnât compliment you for it like he usually did. Why did he have to be such a sweet best friend normally? Remus canât keep up with himself.
It did not help him in the slightest that others around the party seemed to focus on your outfit much more openly than he could dare. It made him gravitate even closer to you, tighten his hand on his hip, momentarily rest his chin on the top of your head â and then his actions made him want to kick himself. Possessiveness was the last thing he could be engaging with when he was already betraying you in such a manner.Â
Leave it to Remus to fuck up something beautiful.
To say you didnât seem to notice that he was troubled would be taking it too far, but at least you didnât seem to notice why. You kept him close to your side and would at random points stroke his back soothingly. He wondered if you just thought he was uncomfortable with the party.
You were chatting with Pandora by the drinks table when Barty and Evan strolled up to you both with cheshire cat grins.
âThere he is, back on his leash,â Junior said through a menacing laugh, ignoring Evanâs slight elbow to his side. âFeeling better, darling?â
âWhat brings you to the lions' den, Junior?â Remus asked carefully to divert the topic.
âWell. Y/Nâs going so Pandoraâs going so Evanâs going, and thusââ he did a small flourishing spin ââ Iâm going.â
âYouâre impossible,â Evan murmured, while Pandora just smiled happily.Â
âIs he feeling better, then?â Barty asked once more, this time looking at you.
âNo, actually,â you said with a small smile Remus knew not to be genuine. âHe is absolutely devastated youâre not in the Slytherin common room right now. He had big plans for you there, you know.â
Remus tried to choke down his laugh as Barty looked torn between glee and irritation. Somehow he made both work. âSorry to soil your plans then, Lupin. Better luck next time.â
Then he stalked off in almost a hurry and Remus couldnât help but hope he was going to Slytherin to check if you were telling the truth.Â
He looked down at where you were standing beside him and squeezed your shoulder lightly. âYou really are a minx,â he whispered conspiratorially.
That turned out to be his undoing. You turned your head to the side to look up at him with mirth playing around in your enamouring eyes, a soft tilt to the corner of your mouth. And your face was oh so painfully close to his.
Remus became acutely aware that he could easily lean in and catch your smile with his. That the air he was breathing had been close to you in some of the only ways he had not yet. That he must look like your boyfriend when youâre standing essentially pressed up against each other like this.
That he most certainly has been looking at your lips for far too long.
When he flicks his gaze back up, he sees a slight furrow between your brows again as you seem to take in his reaction, and suddenly he goes from having butterflies in his stomach to needing to throw them all up. He took a sudden staggering step backwards, almost crashing into James who was engaging in some animated discussion with Marlene.
âI, uh,â Remus said and dear Godrick he was stammering. âIâll get us some drinks and we can sit down, yeah?â He didnât wait for you to respond, instead spinning his back to you and hoping you pick up conversation with Pandora again.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Donât be a bloody arse.
He hoped he had steadied himself enough by the time he plopped down in his favourite grandfather chair near the fire. He placed both of your drinks on the table in front of him, vowing to touch his as minimally as possible to make sure he keeps whatever wits he has left with him.
A dumb smile takes over his face as his breathing quickens when he sees you make your way over to the seating area, after having listened to his desperate silent plea and finished your conversation with Pandora. Pushing his luck, he shoots another silent prayer that it will be smooth sailing from here, which is apparently promptly ignored as you happily sit down in his lap.
Fuck.
This, he reminds himself, is also normal for the two of you. Especially at parties, especially if you have reason to believe he is unsteady in any sense of the word, which he most certainly has given you plenty of reason to believe.Â
You give him some form of greeting he canât quite catch and isnât sure if he reciprocated as you settle down, putting majority of your weight on his right thigh as you lean your body sideways against his. One of your arms snuck around his shoulders, fingers winding up playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, while the other is stabilising yourself on his knee. Majority of your close friends had followed your lead by sitting down in the small gathering, chattering amongst themselves. He was half-aware that you were rambling on about something to him, something he probably really wanted to listen to, but it felt like his head was underwater.
Unsure of what else to do, he lowered his face into your shoulder and took deep breaths there.
You seemed wholly unbothered, fingers continuing in his hair as your soothing voice carried him through what he feared might become a panic attack. He was almost there, when the cocoon you two had in your chair was burst by the presence of your other friends.
âYou alright there, Moons? Youâre not going to go all vampire on poor Y/N?â Siriusâ tone was lighthearted and teasing, but Remus felt as if he might actually die.
âOh, heâs quite alright,â you answered for him with a smile before he could embarrass himself, immediately switching over to engage in conversation with the friends sitting closest to you. Your hand on his knee squeezed reassuringly.
Fuck, how could he not love you?
He loved you.
Remus almost had to fight crying as he hid in the crook of his neck, overwhelmed by his own emotions and the surely watchful gazes of those around him â the latter of which was why he couldnât.Â
With a deep breath he let his desire win for just one second and pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder before emerging from his hiding place. He shifted you carefully to be more comfortable, so that your back was against him and he could rest his head on the shoulder he just kissed.
He did fairly good, partaking in conversation, engaging with the others, albeit more quietly and less than usual. He laughed and he smiled and you were so soft against him, as if you had melted. Remus was in heaven while being tortured.
Marlene wolf whistled quietly from where she was sat on the floor, eyeing Remus with mirth. Though he still did not know why, he was already turning red, the tips of his ears burning.
âHi, Remmy.â He heard the soft voice say beside him and he turned his head to see Emmeline giving him a somewhat sly smile. âThe dance floorâs picking up. Want to go for another round?â
Remusâ stomach churned. Emmeline was such a sweet girl and he never could say no to her, the only thing that felt worse than the embarrassment from his friendsâ teasing was the thought of embarrassing her â though Remus was sure even thinking like that made him into an even bigger arse.
Sirius and James had told him multiple times that he could say no. As had you, reminding him how important it was to have boundaries, even while you were sitting practically on top of him at the time. He just could never bring himself to.
Yet his mouth seemed to move on its own accord before he could think, arms tightening around you. âNo, not tonight Emmeline, sorry. Knock yourself out, though.â He tried to give her a warm smile, but his movements seemed to be outside of his control at the moment, breath sucked from his lungs.
He realised with a sting that he should have given her more credit all along when she beams back at him. âNo worries, enjoy your night!â she cheered before twirling towards the dance floor herself.
Remus let out a shaky breath and turned to his friends who were almost staring him down. Jamesâ mouth was even open in shock, which he thought was a bit dramatic.
âHold on, what just happened?â Sirius guffawed. âHas our little Moony learned to say no?â
Remus flushed even further. âShut up, Pads.â
âDonât think I will,â his mate replied with a wolfish grin turning to look to the others for support. âNever thought Iâd see the day.â
âWhatâs inspired this change in you?â Mary asked thoughtfully, propping her head into her hands as if she was settling in for a lengthy response.
All eyes were back on Remus and he felt like the mask he had been clinging to all day was crumbling. The nerves that shot through him like lightning now was not his usual humiliation from being in a charged spotlight â no, this was fear. Genuine fear that if he didnât get his head screwed back on within two seconds, he might say something too revealing, or his face would do it without him having to open his mouth. That his fiery ears would somehow spell out I am in love with my very best friend and I realised it too late and am making it everybody elseâs problem. He had no idea what to do.
In his time of despair, with Maryâs big eyes staring up at him, Marlene and Lily already snickering between them and Sirius raising an expecting brow, his instincts knew of only one way out.
His finger on your hip lifted. Tap, tap, tap.
Almost as if a switch had gone off, you made a soft gasp and turned to look at him in his lap. âGods, Rem, speaking of Emmeline, I totally forgot our gift for Sirius in my dorm room in Ravenclaw!â you exclaimed, putting your all into the act. Your excuse seemed to be a good one as Siriusâ head immediately picked up, not unlike that of a dogâs if you said the word âtreatâ around them. âWe have to go get it before the partyâs over.â
You elegantly hopped up and out of his lap, dragging him behind him with a grip on his elbow. Remus stumbled and scrambled behind you, tossing a sorry donât know what thatâs about look to the others over his shoulder. He barely caught sight of what he could only classify as a knowing exchange of smiles between James and Lily.
Before he could truly process your rescue mission, he was standing outside in the cool hallway breathing heavily, portrait closed behind him.Â
Before him, you stood with your hands on your hips, scanning his face thoroughly, making him almost cower beneath your gaze. You seemed to make up your mind about something as you took his hand once more and walked with him down the hall in silence, rounding the corners until you reached one of the deep windowsills, the kind the two of you would always sit in and read.Â
You jumped to lift yourself into it and once you were sat with one hand on each side of your body, you levelled him with a look.
âOkay, spill,â you said, directly but not unkindly. âWhat is going on with you?â
Remus did not think this through. He needed help and so he called upon you for it like he always does, not thinking to consider that that might very well make this worse for him.
âItâsâŚâ he began, picking at straws in his mind for an excuse. âItâs nothing, dove. Really.âÂ
âWhenâs my birthday?â you asked then, to his surprise. He furrowed his brows at you and told you the date. You smiled a bit smugly. âExactly. So you know I wasnât born yesterday.â
He genuinely laughed at that, even if it was at his expense. He let his body do as it wished and took a small step closer to you. Not enough for your bodies to touch, but enough to feel like he was in your space. Safe, even in his panic.
âRemus,â you said softly, painfully gently. You rarely used his first name, and now when you did, it was laced with an undertone he couldnât stomach. It was beginning to sound a bit like hurt. âWhat is going on with you? Why⌠why are you acting this way towards me?â
Because you are the one thing I have never had to question and now Iâm questioning everything. Because Iâm a bloody prick who has one dream and ruins his life over it. Because my mind is running a mile a minute and your lips feel like magnets and I swear I am losing control in a way I only do during full moons.
âI donât know what to do,â he ended up whimpering quietly, cowardly.
You looked around the hallway as if the answer would be written on any of the walls and moved your arms slightly to gesture around you. âAbout what? I canât help you unless I know what it is, cariad.â
He scrunched his face for a moment, looking away from you. âCan we not do this? Itâs nothing you can fix, dove.â
You seemed to grow even more confused at that, almost frustrated. âWhy not?â He realised then that the two of you had always helped each other through everything. Being locked out must hurt. He wanted to kick himself, but he didn't know what else to do. âWhatâs wrong, Remus, please I justââ
Remus is besieged by the power of someone much more reckless, driven by desire to alleviate you of your confusion and him of his pain.
He cut you off with a kiss.
He took a large stride forward to slot himself in between your thighs, eliminating the space between you within a second, bringing both hands up to cup the sides of your face and bring it towards him. His eyes were shut tightly, furrow in his brows as his lips all but smashed against yours in a kiss that felt sacrificially sacred. Your lips are just as soft as in his dream, as is the small gasp that escapes you as you tense in his grasp.
Remus has never felt better and he has never felt worse.
The kiss lasts for about 10 seconds before he pulls away in even more of a flurry. His hands lost their grip on you first, hovering over your cheeks briefly, as if considering going back in before thinking better of it. He still had you captured in the kiss, hanging on to it for as long as he could deign himself, knowing it was his last opportunity to do so, all the while kicking himself over it.
Backing away, he put double the distance between you. He felt drunk, stumbling slightly as he all but scrambled away, a stinging sensation behind his eyes.
âIâm so sorry, I don't know why I did that. I didnât mean to,â he breathed out, reeling at his own impulsivity. âThat,â he said through a shaking voice as he looked anywhere but your face, âis my problem, and Y/N, I am so, so sorry. Iâm so sorry.â
For the shortest second, he lets his eyes flicker quickly over your face before rushing back to stare at a statue on the wall beside you. Your face was blank, eyes wide. Your fingers were barely touching the lips he had just enclosed in his own.
You must be disgusted. You must be horrified. You must feel violated and Remus wanted nothing more than to disappear from the face of the earth and rid you of this undying problem.
He was every bit the beast you had tried to convince him he wasnât.
âWhyâŚâ you began, voice but a whisper, before you trailed off.
Remus had to shut his eyes at that, tilting his head slightly to the side. If he breathed through his nose, he might not cry. He was sitting before the highest court he knew, and you were about to ask him to explain himself.
âWhy are you sorry?â
The words floored him a little, enough to make his eyes snap open and land back on your face. You looked deeply concerned, brows tilted upwards as you seemed to take his face in. âRemus,â you whispered now that you finally had his eyes on you. âWhy are you sorry?â
He shook his head in confusion, feeling every bit like the boy he was. âI shouldnât have done that.â It was all he could get out through his hoarse voice. He also had no idea how to answer that question in a satisfactory way.
You took in a short sharp breath and then lowered yourself onto the ground to stand before him. With your hands held out in front of you, almost as if you were ready to lunge out and catch him if he was to run â an idea that was becoming increasingly enticing to him â you took a small step towards him. âWhy?â There was a growing spark in your eye, dimmed only by your worried frown.
âY/N.â He didnât know what else to say, eyes trained on you.
âCariad,â you replied in the same tone, and a tear slipped down his left cheek. You took another measured step towards him, enough to reach out for him if you wanted to â but of course, you wouldnât want to, not anymore. âItâs alright.â
He felt dizzy at the lack of the scolding or disgust he had braced himself for, realising how stupid he was for even fearing that from you. No, you would reject him sweetly and kindly, and his heart would never be mended from it. That felt worse, somehow.
âItâs not,â he whispered. âPlease donât say it is.â
You smiled ruefully and took another small step towards him. He could feel the warmth eminating from you. Tentatively, you reached up a hand to wipe at the tear still sitting on his left cheek. He held his breath and fought the urge to lean into your touch, but when you pressed your palm more firmly against his cheek, he couldnât anymore. A soft sigh escaped him and he let his eyes fall shut as your touch supported him. âIt is, my sweet boy,â you whispered with an urgency that almost convinced him. âRemus, can you answer me honestly?â
His body tensed once more as his eyes fluttered open to find yours, reverent. Most parts of him were still screaming at him to run away, to shut up, to do anything but this. His heart seemed to be in charge for the moment, though, and he nodded slowly. Trusting you with his world even as he felt like a traitor in yours.
âAll this, today⌠has it been because you have realised youâre⌠in love with me?â You seemed to be piecing it together as you said the words out loud, eyes carefully searching his face for his reaction.
Another tear slipped down his cheek, and you quickly caught it with your other thumb, both hands now cradling his face. âIâm so sorry,â he said once more.
âYouâre not allowed to be,â you whispered, giving him a half-smile, almost as if you were indulging him in a secret of yours. âPlease answer the question?â
It was now or never. âYes.â
To his utter surprise and deep-seated confusion, the smile on your face grew genuine, settling into the one he always searched for. He almost opened his mouth to question it before he was cut off.
No words can describe the sensations that bloomed in his chest, the butterflies that flitted in his stomach, when you used your hands on his face as leverage to pull him towards you for another kiss.
You kissed him. You kissed him. You were kissing.
His mind was threatening to take off like a rocket and captiulate, but his hands had never been more steady as they circled around your waist, splaying out over the small of your back as he dragged you closer. You sighed against him, smile still evident over your lips, and Remus dared â like the bastard he was â to mirror it.Â
You were warm against him, but wholly different than you had been in his dream. This felt distinctly real. And just as right.
When you pulled away, your hands had migrated to the back of his neck and you kept your forehead leaned against his. âGood,â you murmured with your eyes still closed. âBecause the feeling is mutual.â
He almost reared his head away from you, but managed to only pull back a few centimetres to stare at you in awe. Remus opened his mouth, but no words came out; he could find none intelligent enough to verbalise how utterly gobsmacked he felt.
You seemed to understand him just as well, going by your breathy laugh. There was still that spark in your eye, now shining brightly in the absence of your worry. Had the worry been for him?
âI know I donât say this enough, but you really are quite an idiot, arenât you?â you laughed and he slowly felt his heart start beating again.
âSpent too much time with Sirius and James, clearly,â he muttered, half expecting the joke to land flat and you to remember how disgusting he was. Instead, your laugh intensified and you leaned your body further against his. It emboldened him to ask, âWhat do you mean the feeling is mutual, dove?â
You let your arms glide further up, crossing behind his neck and over his shoulder, bringing him impossibly closer. âRemus John Lupin,â you whispered sincerely. âI am madly in love with you. Romantically. Genuinely. Any thoughts you have that explain that away are false and you mustn't listen to them. I thought you knew by now that Iâm always right.â
Even as the grin involuntarily established itself on his face, his eyes were shining with unshed tears. He looked at your face, truly studied it, and he could feel his mind ever so slowly calm down. âYou are.â
âWhat am I?â You were testing him, and he allowed it wholeheartedly.
âRight,â he confirmed. Albeit a bit more hesitantly, he knew better than not to add, âand⌠in love with me?â
âTwo points to Gryffindor.â You reached up to give his lips a soft peck. It felt so natural, like it was already habit for you. He desperately wanted it to be.
âIâm sorry, Iâm still reeling from this, dovey,â he confessed, trying to process everything.
There had never been any judgement to be found in your face. âWhich parts are you struggling with the most?âÂ
Your eyes were full of understanding, your face scrunched up in concentration. Remus indulged himself in an old habit by reaching up with one hand to thumb the furrows away. It made you smile just like he wanted it to, and gave him a minute to think. âI donât understand how I didnât get it before now. I donât understand how or why you put up with me. I donât understand how to keep all these feelings inside such a small heart.â
Your hands were stroking his back carefully as you considered his words. âWell, firstly I would argue your heart isnât small at all, though I get what you mean. Youâre not meant to keep all the feelings inside, you know? Thatâs when you get all sputtery and jittery and start avoiding your best friends.â You gave him a pointed look and he almost shied under your glance. âSharing them before you bubble over is always a good thing. Weâll work on it together. As for why I put up with you; I donât. Thereâs nothing to put up with, I just enjoy you like we always have.â
Your eyes had trailed off into the distance as you thought, but you brought them back to him with a small smile as you added the final part. âI donât know what did make you realise, so I canât help you much there. All I can say is, sometimes we donât see what is right in front of us.â
Remus nodded along to your words, feeling peace spreading within in that manner only you could inspire in him. He truly was an idiot, wasnât he? âHow long have you known?â he asked then, curiously.
âAbout you or me?â
âBoth?â His smile was becoming closer to his standard sheepish one, and you seemed to preen at the sight.
You bobbed your head side to side as you considered. âItâs hard to pinpoint an exact date â it wasnât an overnight discovery you know?â Remus did in fact not know nor relate. âBut I realised we were in love, not either oneâs feelings. It just sat calmly within me.â
âYou mean you didnât freak out to the extent where all students and professors alike were worried about you?â
He grinned at the small giggle that drew from you as you decidedly said, âNo. Definitely not.â You studied him for a minute more. âI think I realised about five months ago, but I didnât feel any real need to rush anything. It felt less like being given a to-do list and more like being revealed the plot twist in a movie before it happens, if you understand? The two best friends get together in the end, donât tell anyone.â
He ducked his head at that. While he could not relate, your explanation and experience was so wholeheartedly you that it endeared him to no end. âDoes that mean we should just ignore it for five more months orâŚ?â His grin turned cheeky as you lightly swatted his shoulder.
âNah,â you chuckled. âI reckon weâve waited long enough, yeah?â
He sighed with a smile. âYeah.â
You both leaned forward at the same time, as if to seal the deal with a kiss. Remus could feel it like electricity in the tips of his fingers, and he understood what you meant about knowing. Now that he was no longer in a constant state of panic, he felt incredibly calm about the whole ordeal.
Or maybe thatâs just how he feels around you.
âShould I ask you formally to be my girlfriend, or are we just skipping straight to marriage?â he whispered against your lips.
Remus felt almost wolfish when you barked a loud laugh, throwing your head back and tightening your hold on him instinctively. âI think girlfriendâs enough for now, yeah cariad?â
âIf you insist.â He kissed you through his grin, realising that this was all he wanted to do now.
Like he had so many times before, he tightened his arms around your waist and twirled you around in a few circles, legs flying out behind you. Except this time, your giggles were not hidden in his neck but pressed against his lips, and he tried to capture as many kisses as possible while he spun you.
When you landed with a breathless giggle, he kept one arm firmly around your waist as the two of you slowly made your way back to the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if maybe he could grab some blankets and bring you up to the Astronomy Tower so you could be alone without his friendsâ meddling. Yet, he wanted to see them as well, ready to volley back any quips about âtook you long enoughâ and âI fucking called itâ. Plus, you argued that you should prove that he was in fact alive and sane.
When he walked the halls back to the Gryffindor common room with your body against his, everything felt right. When you entered together, and everyone read what had happened written clearly across your faces, resorting to their usual hoots and hollers, arguably louder than ever before, it never stopped feeling right.Â
Remus being Remus, flushed deeply and averted his gaze, as he would continue doing under any uncalled for attention â but your arms squeezing him around the middle brought him right back down and your kiss to his shoulder soothed the burn of their gazes.
âWhatâs my gift then?â Sirius later asked salaciously as he eyed you two up and down where you cuddled together right back in the same chair, as if nothing changed. Maybe nothing really did.
You grinned widely and cleared your throat. âI honourably present to you,â you said and opened your arms towards Remus with a flourish. âA Moony who is no longer mooning.â
The little group erupted in even more cheers, celebrating the massive feat of taming their brooding boy. Remus couldnât help but laugh along, even at his own expense. His cheeks were red but it was equally due to the exertion of laughing as it was a tinge of embarrassment. When he hid his face into the crook of your neck again, he didnât feel nearly as guilty when he pressed a few kisses to the bare skin he found there â even less so when you melted against him with a sigh.
It felt as if a permanent smile had been sown onto his face where he sat, more content than he believed he had been while inside this castle.
Despite Remus Lupinâs disdain for public displays of affection, he had held you publicly many times before this. They all paled in comparison to the feeling of you in his arms now.Â
It had always been significant to him in its casualty, just as you have always been significant to him long before he had the mind to put the feeling into words. He will always treasure every moment of your existence in his orbit. Yet the way you melted into his skin now, growing roots in each one of his aching bones â no, nothing could compare to it.
Yes, Remus Lupin ailed from public displays of affection. But you were his cure.
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Chapter 59 of human Bill Cipher possibly not being the Mystery Shack's prisoner because he got executed two chapters ago:
Everything you haven't wondered about how Bill survived his execution.
7:27 a.m.
Mabel didn't know why, but figuring out when to ask Mrs. Grendinator to pull over had felt as stressful as trying to throw a ping pong ball into a passing car's open fuel door to land in the little fuel pipe. All she had to do was ask to pull over after they'd passed everything but the last truck stop, but before it was too late for Mrs. Grendinator to make the turn into the Triple Digit parking lot. That was a large window. It wasn't easy to miss. Somehow Mabel still dreaded that she'd speak up too late and Mrs. Grendinator would say she'd have to wait for the next rest stopâby which point Bill would have splatted like a bug against the weirdness barrier while everyone else passed safely through.
But she'd managed to blurt out "I forgot to use the bathroom at home. Can we pull over?"; they'd stopped at the Triple Digit Truck Stop; and Mabel made it inside before her friends could catch her.
She locked the unisex restroom door, set her backpack on the ground, opened it up, and sighed with relief when she saw Bill sitting on her sweater. She carefully pulled him out, set him on the floor, and pointed the height-altering flashlight at him.
For a moment after returning to his true size, he remained seated on the floor, legs bent, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Worriedly, Mabel asked, "You okay?"
"Think I learned what motion sickness is," Bill groaned. "Justâgimme a sec."
"Aww, I'm sorry." Mabel surreptitiously checked in her backpack to make sure Bill hadn't been sick on her sweater. (It was a cool one. It had kissing parrots.)
After a few deep breaths, Bill lifted his head enough to look at Mabel. The first thing he said was, "'Cool big brother-slash-sister,' huh?" He gave her a queasy, but cheeky, grin.
"Shut uuup you weren't supposed to hear that!" She'd just about died with embarrassment when Candy had repeated that where she knew Bill could hear.
"I'm flattered." Bill uncurled himself from his nauseous half-fetal position; and then, gripping onto the sink for support, got back to his feet. "Being smaller again was nice, but I'm never traveling like that again."
"You're such a whiner."
"Yeah, yeah. I have a lot to whine about. I'm dead and about to be executed. Talk about... lose your cake and... not-eat it, too."
Mabel laughed. Bill mussed her hair, grinning, and said, "Hey, you've got no room to laugh, you're the one with the not-setting-houses-on-fire bit."
"Arrrgh, don't remind me!" She pushed Bill to the side so she could use the mirror to straighten out her hair again.
"You did pretty well, though! I'd say that was some of the best acting I've ever seen out of you."
"You too! They definitely bought it," Mabel said. "Even Grunkle Stan was getting worried."
"Especially back in the kitchen, wow! That was really convincing." He paused. "Really, really convincing."
Something heavy hung in the air. Mabel focused on her hair in the mirror.
Bill said, "That bit in the kitchen about me 'depending' on you." He exaggerated the air quotes around the word, distancing himself from the concept. "It wasn't on our list."
"Yeah. It just kinda... seemed right. Improv." Mabel waved unenthusiastic jazz hands.
"It bothers you."
Mabel winced. "I mean... I'm not actually mad at you. But. I want to help, but I don't know what to do for..." She gestured at Bill. "The whole being dead on an alien planet issue."
"Believe it or not, the hoodie helps," Bill said. "Listening helps." But he couldn't meet her gaze; he was fiddling with his friendship bracelet instead. He had to know how heavy even just listening to him could be.
"I'm glad, but... I just... wish you had more friends you could talk to."
Bill nodded morosely. "So do I." It wasn't like he'd chosen to only have one friend, was it? Prisoners didn't get to make those kinds of decisions.
Mabel asked, "Do you really think I think you're just a summer fix-it project?"
"I... pfff... come on, I watched you spend all last summer handing out makeovers and dating advice. You've already done my makeup, taken me clothes shopping, and tried to pump me for info on what kinds of freaks I'm into."
(Mabel quietly filed away the fact that Bill referred to "freaks" as his preferred romantic targets.)
"That's how your summer was going to end," Bill said. "You tame the monster, go home triumphant, and don't worry about it anymore. Like how you patched up Broken Heart's love life and left him to sort out the consequences."
"No!" Mabel huffed, "I meanâmaybe a little at the beginning, but... you're really my friend now, I'd hate it if I never saw you again. I don't give friendship bracelets to just anybody!"
Bill kind of thought she did; but he wasn't about to argue. "Well, I've only given one person a bracelet, and I meant it." (Even more now than when he'd originally made it.) "You're never getting rid of me now, star girl. You're stuck with me forever!"
Coming out of Bill Cipher, the promise should have filled her with dread. A month ago it would have filled her with dread. But Mabel just found it comforting. "Good."
(And Ford hadn't felt any dread when he'd sworn "until the end of time," either.)
Bill took off his backpack and rummaged through it. "Now let me make sure I can keep that promise."
He took out a map of the mountains and forest around Gravity Falls and spread it out on the floor for them to kneel in front of. "You know about the spaceship buried under town? When its ring cut through the mountain, a few chunks of the ship dislodged and were buried in one of the mountains. No human has ever found them before, not even your great uncle. That's where I'll hide."
"Are the chunks big enough to hide in?"
"Sure! There's one that'd serve as a decent studio apartment. Wellâthe cheapest studio apartment in Manhattan, maybe. But, hey, I don't have much furniture."
On the map, he showed Mabel a route to reach the base of the cliff, tracing it with his finger. She couldn't afford to take a map with the route marked; if the adults discovered Bill's escape and confiscated Mabel's possessions, a marked map would lead them straight to him. She'd just have to do her best to memorize the route he described. "When and if the coast is clear, you can come find me there."
"How do I get up the cliff?"
"Don't worry about that. You make it that far, I'll take care of the rest."
And that was all they could afford to discuss. Mabel couldn't hide in here for long. As Bill refolded the map (and Mabel was awed to learn he was the kind of person who could refold maps correctly on the first try), and he packed the map and the height-altering flashlight in his backpack, they each tried separately to figure out how to get around to saying goodbye.
"I uh... I know you're sticking your neck out for me, kid." (Bill wasn't used to this, wasn't used to people who didn't help him due to fear or duty or lies, wasn't used to people who still wanted to help him after they knew what he was really like.) "So, thanksâ"
Mabel flung her arms around him. Her voice thick, she said, "I think your manners are getting better."
"Shut up, I've always known how to say thanks." It was gratitude that was new.
"Be safe out there," Mabel said. "Don't die, or else. Remember to eat. And drink water! And do laundry sometimes."
"All right, all right. You'll find me in better health than you left me. All the sunshine and fresh air this body can take."
"I'll miss you."
Keep it together, Cipher. He swallowed hard. "Have you ever heard the song 'We'll Meet Again'?"
"Uh-uh?"
"Old war song. Look it up once you're in Portland, when you aren't busy having synthesizers pumped in your ears."
"Is it about... how we'll meet again?"
"Yes, smartypants. Look it up anyway,"Â Bill said. "I'll miss you too."
Mabel washed her face, left the restroom, and shut the door behind her; and Bill waited in the dark while everyone left.
####
7:45 a.m.
A woman with two children opened the unisex restroom door, and gasped in shock when she saw a human silhouette lurking in the dark, one eye shining.
"Hey, thanks, lady! Couldn't get the door for some reason." He breezed past her. "Careful, it sticks from the inside."
He grabbed an empty backpack for sale, and loaded it up with supplies, food, and drinks. (The good stuff, not the weak cider he got in the Mystery Shack. He was making margaritas tonight.) He headed up to the cash register... veered to a currently-unmanned register, stole a handful of loose change out of a tip jar, and timed his exit so he walked out just as a man walked in and kindly held the door for him.
####
7:55 a.m.
It was a fair walk from Triple Digit back to the cliffs around Gravity Falls. When Bill was a safe distance into the woods, he unzipped his first backpack, retrieved his flattened top hat, and popped it out; and then continued on, behatted and using his umbrella like a cane.
Even with no sleep, even just a couple of days after the worst hiking trip in history, even tired and sore from an hour of frenzied dancing, even carrying two full backpacks with one strap slung over each shoulder, even with the sky gloomy and overcastâthis was the best he'd felt since Weirdmageddon.
His steps were sure, his body was unchained, and the future had opened up for him again.
####
8:00 a.m.
Mabel kept glancing out the window, back in the direction of Gravity Falls, waiting and waiting to see the light of some kind of killer laser cut through the sky.
Maybe the Quantum Destabilizer's beam just wasn't visible from this far. Maybe they'd decided to wait to execute Bill. Maybe they hadn't wasted their shot because they'd already discovered Bill and Mabel's ruse. Maybe the "enchantment" Bill had written hadn't done its job.
But if they had discovered Bill was missing, they would've called Mabel immediately, trying to find out what she'd done and where he'd gone.
Her phone sat hard and heavy and silent in her pocket.
The butterflies in her stomach didn't stop fluttering until long after they reached Portland.
####
10:30 a.m.
Plus or minus a few trees, the rendezvous point at the base of the cliff was just how Bill had remembered last seeing it millennia ago. The Trilazzx Betan proximity sensor that had been embedded in the cliff face since the ship crash was still there and still sensing, even after millions of years and a layer of stone had closed around it. He could see it behind the face of the cliff; and it could see him.
He took out the multi-tool pocket knife Dipper had "donated" to Bill's supplies, flipped out the blade, and carved his face in a tree far enough from the rendezvous point to avoid notice by anyone who found this spot, but near enough it could see anyone who showed up. He made it as accurate as he couldâhat, bow, limbs, eyelashes. That would unfortunately make it easier for humans to identify the face if anyone happened to walk by, but his ability to connect to his other eyes was still weak, he needed as much of a boost as he could get. He licked the bark, leaving his saliva to connect the eye on the tree to him.
And then he returned to the rendezvous point at the base of the cliff, and, beneath the watchful eye of the proximity sensor, began digging in the dirt with his hands.
Beneath the soil, fortunately not buried too deep, was a stone shaped like a small tombstone with several symbols carved into its surface that superficially resembled common runes. Bill brushed the dirt off of his leggings and rubbed it out of the carved lines in the stone. It was lucky that today was overcast; it would make this thing a lot easier to control.
Bill took out the flashlight, removed the height-altering crystal, turned it on, and aimed the beam at the topmost rune.
The runes began glowing an eerie green.
The ground shuddered; and then a patch of ground five feet in diameter lifted up into the air, carrying Bill with it, tearing the grass at the edge of the circle, propelled by a long-forgotten enchanted stone platform concealed in the clump of dirt.
He rose to the gouge that the spaceship had carved into the mountain; and then he moved his flashlight's beam to another rune. The platform smoothly shifted to moving sideways, gliding beneath the ancient overhang. When he turned off the flashlight, the stone stopped glowing and gently settled to the ground. Bill stepped off, fished a spare shirt out of his backpack, and pulled it over the rune-covered stone so it couldn't take off if the sun came out. There was a reason this buried stone was the only platform of its kind left in the area outside of the deep mountain caverns: leave one outside on a sunny day where the light can hit its runes, and next thing you know it's zoomed out over the Pacific and is quickly rising toward space.
He surveyed the area. Every once in a while humans climbed up here just for the challenge of it, delightful little explorers they were; but he doubted anyone had been up here in decades. He stood in front of what was, to all appearances, a completely nondescript patch of stony ground; and he said, in heavily accented but intelligible Trilazzx Betan, "Let me in, you hunk of junk. Activate emergency crash protocols."
A fragment of ship deep beneath the ground stirred awake, registered the command, analyzed itself and concluded from the fact that it wasn't in space and was separated from 99% of the rest of itself that it had indeed crashed, and activated emergency crash protocols. In acknowledgment of the dire situation, it deactivated its usual authorized personnel listâthere was no sense in waiting for the captain to approve new orders if the captain might be deadâaccepted the command given by the unknown being above it, and opened its hatch.
Millions of years of solid stone groaned and buckled in protest at being moved; but Trilazzx Betan engineering was strong enough for the framework of a portal capable of ripping a hole between dimensions without being ripped apart itself. The stone yielded first. A hatch swung up, revealing a tilted chamber descending into the cliff.
Bill strolled confidently down the walkway. "Cancel distress signal. Disable life support's air filtering." The fragment of a ship beeped a warning, and Bill responded, "I'm aware of this planet's high oxygen content. You worry about your health, I'll worry about mine. Disable air filtering." The ship beeped a confirmation. "Reconnect to all external proximity sensors in range and display on screens one, two, and three." This broken part of the ship had once handled communications. It had a whole wall of screens. He wondered whether he could jury rig this thing to pick up human satellite TV. Nah, probably not worth the effort.
He slung off his backpacks and started unpacking.
####
12:04 p.m.
It was time.
Dipper sat on the floor and put his head in his hands. He felt sick.
He was dead. In just a few seconds Ford would discover that Bill was goneâDipper was sure he was gone, they hadn't heard a peep from the room, Mabel must've snuck him out or left him some escape routeâand then Ford would know that someone had warned Bill and Mabel, and then Dipper was deadâ
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah." Dipper waved Ford off. "Just... didn't get much sleep. Little dizzy." Ford would never trust him again. Stan would be furious. They'd both be furious.
"You can go downstairs if you..."
"No no, I'm fine, I..." Dipper took a deep breath and lifted his head. "I'll face it." Better to get it over with now than to hide downstairs and wait for it.Â
Stan nodded. "Good man." He wouldn't be so proud of Dipper in a moment.
Ford nodded, stood, opened the doorâand Dipper buried his face in his hands again.
####
12:06 p.m.
Ford could see Bill up in the loft, hood up and shoulders hunched, back to the room. Ford could shoot Bill in the back without him ever waking up.
He climbed into the loft. Bill lay curled up in a ball, a small as Ford had ever seen him.
But it only took a moment for Ford's eyes to adjust to the dark; and even in the dim light through the stained glass window, he could tell:
The shape in front of him wasn't human. Just lumpy clothes.
Ford whipped around, heart pounding, clutching the Quantum Destabilizer's carrying case against his chest, searching for the real Bill lurking somewhere in the shadows. No sign of him. Ford had already looked on the floor level. Was he gone? How?
He was too dumbfounded to be outraged. He walked up to the dummy to pull it apartâ
And saw the paper, folded in quarters, floating in the air above it. Four symbols in a cipher were written atop the paper. Ford recognized them: it was the alien alphabet of an interdimensional pidgin used as a written lingua franca throughout the Nightmare Realm and its bordering regions; it was so widespread that Ford had learned the alphabet before he ever left Earth.
The four letters read, "F O R D".
Ford plucked the paper out of the air and unfolded it.
Stanfordâ
I'll cut to the chase. I need your help. I don't want to die.
I'm banking on the hope that, in spite of everything you've said and done, part of you also doesn't want me to die.
You have a choice. You can walk out there, tell them I escaped, rally an angry mob, and comb everything under the weirdness barrier for me. This town's not that big and I'll need to eat eventually. We both know I can't hide forever.
Or you can tell them you finished the job. No one looks for me. No one knows but you and me.
I don't have rewards or deals to offer. You already know what I bring to the table. If that hasn't persuaded you to side with me by now, it never will. I'm not bargaining. I'm begging.
I'm asking you, as my friend, to help me survive.
Please.
¡ â¡-â -â
Of course.
How dare he.
Had Bill planned this all along? Was this why he'd insisted he wanted to be Ford's friend? Was this why he'd saved his life? Maybe the entire rescue had been stagedâthe rescue, the performance of fear over a harmless phenomenon, the mental breakdown, all of it. For all Ford knew, maybe the accursed Axolotl was in on the scheme! How clairvoyant was Bill? Had he seen this moment coming?
But if he'd seen this moment coming, wouldn't it have been easier to just let Ford, his executioner-to-be, die? Ford and Dipper both, so Dipper wouldn't figure out how to synthesize NowUSeeitNowUDontium? If he'd saved them in spite of that, didn't that make it a sincere gesture?
But implication was clear: I've been a friend to you, now be one to me. A life for a life. There was nothing sincere in that. It was pure self interest.
(For just a couple of days, Ford really had thought it was sincere.)
But if the only reason Bill had saved Ford was to save himselfâthen why had Bill endangered his own life in the process?
With every thought Ford's paranoia pendulumed.
He should get Stan. Call the cops, confess who they'd been harboring for the past month, tell them everything, get a manhunt going before Bill could make it any further away. Even if he couldn't leave the weirdness barrier, there were probably hundreds of hidden hidey-holes Bill could dig himself into that humans had never seenâunexplored hallways in Crash Site Omega, uncharted caverns behind Trembley Falls where Bill didn't even need light to see. They could drag him back into the light, tie him up, aim the Quantum Destabilizer straight at him...
But. In spite of himself, he could still see Mabel's drawing hopefully reassigning Bill the role of a superhero. He could still see the crumpled drawing in his pocketâ"I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU CAN CHANGE!" He could still see Dipper tentatively asking whether they might need Bill someday. He could still see Bill playing teacher in the living room. And for a moment, for just a moment, Bill had been so good. He could be so good.
Why couldn't you have been this person?
Why can't you be this person?
What if he could be better? What if he could be decent? What if he could be a friend?
Ford didn't believe Bill was any better today than he had been the day he died. Butâat some point, something had slowly turned over in Ford's mind. He believed that Bill could change. Not would change, not is changing, but could. And if Ford started a manhunt, Bill would never be a threat againâbut he'd also never be better.
There was a point where the doubt and hope built up to a critical massâwhen they became enough, just enough, to stay the trigger finger. Because once Ford fired on Bill, that was it. All chances were gone forever. It was over. If Bill was alive they could always try again to kill him later; but if Bill was dead, they could never try again to better him.
And for the first time in thirty years, Ford wanted Bill to be better more than he wanted Bill to be dead.
Ford looked at the dummy. Looked at the note.
And then he lay the note on the dummy, knelt by the edge of the loft, opened his case, and removed the Quantum Destabilizer.
####
12:09 p.m.
Ten minutes ago, Bill had been in the process of emptying out his backpacks and finding nooks and cubbies amongst the alien communication workstations where he could tuck his supplies, when he'd glanced out the open hatch and noticed the beforeimage of the shot lighting up the sky.
He'd come out of his shelter to watch the moment approach; but he hadn't quite believed it until it was in the present and actually happening. The blue-white beam of the Quantum Destabilizerâits one and only shotâscreamed off into the sky.
"Well, what do you know," he murmured, standing at the edge of the cliff, hands on his hips, staring out in wonder over the town. "I really didn't think you'd do it."
Ford had saved his life.
Bill crossed his arms tight and tried to convince himself he didn't wonder why.
####
12:10 p.m.
Ford heard Dipper and Stan come into the bedroom and climb the ladder. He was seized by an urge to sweep away the ashes and the evidence of his trick before they could realize what he'd done.
"Grunkle Ford...?"
He forced himself to speak. "It's done."
"So... Bill is...?"
Ford suddenly realized: Dipper knew Bill wasn't in here. He must have warned Mabel, and Mabel had arranged for Bill to be alone in their room long enough to escape.
Which meant Dipper knew Bill was alive.
(Bill had written, "No one knows but you and me." Bill was covering for the kids.)
Ford turned to look him in the eyes. "Yes, he's dead."
Which meant Dipper knew what Ford had doneâand knew Ford knew what he had done.
Neither one of them needed to say anything else to know what the other was thinking. They just shared a lookâthe two most miserable co-conspirators in Gravity Falls.
####
12:25 p.m.
Bill sat cross-legged at the edge of the cliff and watched until the afterimage of the Quantum Destabilizer's shot had faded from the sky; and then he went inside his shelter, mixed the world's lamest margarita in a coffee mug, took it outside, sat again, and toasted toward the town and the Mystery Shack.
Here's to survival.
He sat outside until the gash the Quantum Destabilizer had cut in the clouds closed and it began to rain.
####
1:10 p.m.
Stan had come and gone a few minutes ago, and already Ford had forgotten everything he'd said, if he'd even registered it in the first place.
His fingers had itched until he'd finally had a moment to steal down to his study, retrieve Journal 5, and bring it up to the guest room; and now for over half an hour he'd been feverishly writing down every single thing he could remember learning about Bill over the last two days. The drawing of his homeworld. His lecture on biangles and psychic powers. How polygons inherited their sides. (Their royalty sounded nigh on Habsburgian; had their political system ever changed?) What little details Bill had let slip about where Edward Bishop Bishop's book was wrong. (Had he told Mabel more about their relationship? He'd have to ask when she was home.) How Bill signed his letter: "¡ -¡-- --", Morse code for "EYM," was it an acronym, was it a code, what did it mean, why did he write it in two colors? How Bill spelled Mabel's name in alien alphabets: Mabelle, Maybell, the varying extra letters. How Bill danced: how he struggled to cross his ankles, how he turned out his feet, how his spine and shoulders never bent, how the complex ways he tilted his legs and pelvis compensated for his stiff spine.
If Bill was sticking around a while longer, then these details still mattered.
He refused to forget a thing.
####
Sunday, 12:02 a.m.
As "We'll Meet Again" finished playing, Mabel turned off her phone, put it back on her nightstand, and wiped her eyes again. Big stupid dork couldn't even say this himself, he had to hide it behind a song.Â
Yes. They would meet again. Law of attraction. Believing it was the first step to making it come true.
####
10:20 a.m.
The fearful butterflies in Mabel's stomach had slowly returned during the drive home from Portland. No one had texted herâwas that a good sign?âbut she was afraid it just meant they'd decided to let her enjoy the rest of her trip before letting her know she was grounded forever for helping Bill escape. When they'd all greeted her at the door, looking so somber, and she was sure she was about to get the bad news, she'd just had to keep acting normal and hope she wasn't gonna get in more trouble for playing dumb.
The last thing she expected Stan to say was, "Weshotim."
"Say wha?"
"We got thatâspace gun of Ford's working. We shot him. He's... I'm sorry, sweetie."
Mabel stared at Stan. That was impossibleâthere was no way they'd found Bill. Butâif Stan believed he was dead...
She dragged her gaze from his face to Dipper's. Dipper bit his lips, staring at his feet. He wouldn't meet her eyesâtoo afraid that even looking at her would give something away.
She looked from Dipper to Ford. "Grunkle Ford?" She tried not to hope. "Is it true?"
There was no way he'd believed the dummy was real. The moment she'd read Bill's so-called "enchantment," she'd known making it believable was never the point. Bill's only real plan had always been to get Ford on their side.
For a long moment, Ford said nothing. He dragged his eyes up to meet her stare, took a deep breath, and nodded. "He's dead."
Mabel's eyes widened. Two days ago, Ford had been the one arguing that killing Bill was their only choice. If he'd changed his mind...
If anyone said anything else, she didn't register it in her excitement. She backed out of the doorway, leaped off the porch, and ran around the shack, looking for her bike.Â
She had to see Bill immediately.
####
10:21 a.m.
Quietly, Dipper asked, "Did we do the right thing?"
Ford didn't know. His stomach had been twisting with guilt and doubt since yesterday. His conscience had kept him up half the night. "I hope so."
He feared they'd have second-guessed themselves no matter what.
####
2:30 p.m.
Bill was asleep. He'd been sleeping off and on for most of the past day. This was the first time since he'd died that he had somewhere safe to sleepâsomewhere nobody could touch his vulnerable body, nobody could move him, drown him, kill him.
And this was the first time he hadn't been helpless and sightless.
In his sleep, he saw his own body, curled up on the tilted floor against a wall, on top of the sleeping bag and under the Pony Heist bedsheet, from an eye he'd drawn on the ceiling.
From another eye he'd drawn on the wall, he saw the ship's open hatch, the overhang above, a small sliver of the gray drizzly sky over Gravity Falls.
And from his eye on the tree, blurry and fading as the rain washed away his saliva, he saw a human-shaped mass of raucous colors exploring the pit in the ground left behind by his hovering platform.
A human? He sat up with a gasp and looked at the screen displaying the proximity sensors. Sure enough, the sensor at the base of the cliff was displaying a Mabel-shaped silhouette.
He grabbed his flashlight and climbed out of his shelter.
####
"Kid, what are you doing out out here?!"
Mabel looked up. Bill was some twenty feet above her and quickly descending on what looked like a chunk of flying dirt the same size as the pit in the ground she'd been inspecting. "Bill!"Â She leaned her bike against the cliff face. Finallyâshe'd been wandering around in the trees forever trying to figure out where Bill's rendezvous point was hidden.
"It's pouring rain," Bill scolded. "You could lose your immune system orâor slip in the mud or something."
"Wow, nice to see you too, mom." Mabel ran up as Bill landed his floating chunk of ground.
"Hey, I don't want anything happening to my favorite human!" He scooted over to make room for her on the platform. "Just couldn't wait for a sunny day to meet again, huh?"
"Psh, come on! Like you meant that literally." Near Bill, the rain had mysteriously stopped landing on Mabel. She looked up and saw the rain simply parting in the air over Bill's head.
He noticed her glance and said, "Did I ever teach you the spell to repel rain? Remind me to do that before you go."Â He pointed his flashlight's beam at a rune on a stone rising from the platform, and it lifted off again. "Nice sweater today." He poked one parrot-winged sleeve, its bright colors darkened by the soaking rain. "It probably looked better dry."
Mabel smacked away his hand. "Bill, guess what! Grunkle Ford decided to protect you!"
"I know, I saw the wasted shot from here." He steered the platform onto the cliff. He landed it next to a hatch that opened into a subterranean tunnel. "Of course, I always knew he would. Didn't I say we'd pull this off?"
Sure he'd known. That was why he'd lied about what the "enchanted" paper really was so Mabel wouldn't worry.
Mabel followed him down into the metal tunnel. "Do you know what this means? You can come back to the shack!"
Bill turned to stare at her in bewilderment. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because... it's safe now? They're not gonna kill you?" Mabel squinted. "Why's it so dark in here?"
"Oh, right. You need this." Bill offered the flashlight.
Mabel turned it on. They were in a metal chamber, about half the size of the Mystery Shack's floor room and nowhere near as tall. One end of it had been torn off and dirt and stone served as the new wall. Most of the walls were dominated by heavy metal consoles, curved metal chairs, and screens, a few of which were on but flickered irritatingly. One chair still had a fossilized alien skeleton in it. Bill had put his top hat on it.
His supplies were piled haphazardly on consoles and the floor; all Mabel saw in his food pile was shelf-stable junk food and drinks. The air somehow felt more damp in here than it did outside with the rain. The chairs didn't have cushions, the floor didn't have carpet; everything was hard and cold and dark. She didn't even see a door for a bathroom in here. This was where Bill was staying?
"The Mystery Shack is safe for now," Bill said. "Just wait until Stanley decides to take another swing at me, or Dolores poisons my dinner againâor Ford changes his mind, dunks me in the bathtub, and doesn't let me back out."
"They wouldn't..." Mabel trailed off. She tried to imagine how mad Stan would be when he found out Bill was alive, and had to concede he might.
"Even if it was safeâwhy would I go back to that sorry makeshift prison?" Bill hopped up into one of the tilted alien chairs. There was a weird extended bit designed for alien anatomy that curved up at the end of the seat and forced Bill to straddle the chair rather than sit in it normally; it didn't look comfortable. "After almost a month and a half, I'm finally free!"
"Free inside a tiny bubble around the town," Mabel protested. "To live in a... weird little metal dirt room."
"Freely moving inside the entire barrier is a lot better than freely moving through half a shack! Surrounded by people who want me dead! I don't even get full privacy when I'm using the toiletâthat's the bare minimum humans offer as basic respect! You don't know how many times I've been walked in on!"
"Do you even have a toilet here?"
Bill hesitated. "There's aâthere are gas stations within walking distance."
"How are you gonna get into the restroom?"
"Fine, I'll dig a pit or something, all right? The point is, whatever I do, at least I can do it in freedom!"
He hadn't planned this through at all, Mabel realized. He'd only thought as far ahead as finding food and shelter that would last him the next couple of days. "But..." She gestured at the pathetic room around them. "The shack's got a proper roof and a shower and real foodâwouldn't that be better than this?"
Bill scoffed "Only humans care about roofs and showers, and the idea of 'real' food is a social construct I reject!"
He'd be miserable here. Mabel couldn't let Bill do this to himself. "Then don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth?" She gave him a pleading look. "Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?"
There was a flash of light reflected in the dark as Bill's eyes turned away from Mabel.
"Bill?"
He didn't respond. He trudged past her, halfway up the walkway out of the ship, and stopped there, his back to Mabel, hands on his hips, staring out into the rain. He sighed. "Kid, you're trying to give me Stockholm syndrome."
"I don't know what that means."
"It means I'll think about it," Bill said, voice flat. "Go back to the shack."
Before Mabel could move, Bill said, "Hold on. Let me teach you that umbrella spell first." He turned and descended back into the ship. "And when's the last time you ate? Human bodies act pathetic if they don't get glucose every three hours. Get some lunch, it's a long bike back to the shack." He gestured at his meager food supplies.
She rummaged through the foil bags and colorful boxes and grabbed some Chipackers and sour gummy dolphins.
Bill sat near her, grabbed a bag of jerky for himself, and said, "And tell me about that concert you abandoned me to my doom for."
####
4:00 p.m.
Bill escorted Mabel down off the cliffâand, at her request, let her borrow the flashlight and wiggle the floating platform back and forth a little as they descended. He took back the flashlight when she nearly crashed the platform and killed them both.
"Where'd this come from?" Mabel asked, poking the stone. "Did the aliens make this, too?"
"Nope! This is good old local Earth magic. Ever hear of Caterpillar Man?"
"Is that some kind of superhero?"
"Afraid not. Wellâever hear of Grendel?"
"Uh-uh."
They were nearly at the ground now. "I think I'll tell you next time."
As the platform lifted him back up, Bill watched Mabel wheel her bike through the trees, slowly heading toward the main road back into town.
For a midsummer day, it was chilly in the rain.
####
Monday, 1:03 a.m.
And it was even chillier in the post-midnight dark when he knocked on the Mystery Shack's door.
####
(Eager to hear what y'all think now that you've seen the full story of how Bill survivedâlast week once Dipper and Mabel's roles were revealed, I think most folks thought that fully explained how Bill faked his death. ;) Next week is probably a double length chapter, because there's no graceful way to break it in half and also it'd be nice to get this plot arc wrapped up before The Book of Bill comes out lmao.)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#grunkle ford#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's work OR the mindblowing art of @toshiimura))
Pairing: Midoriya x reader (retired by injury pro-hero fem!reader)
Words: 2.6K
Rating: T (18+ touches later on, to be safe~)
Warnings: Interrupted first time, heavy petting, established relationship, sharing a bed, honestly just Izuku in love and fluffy times commence in a hotel room.
Summary:
Joining Midoriya Sensei on his work trip -and yes, even sharing a bed for the first time- is medicine for you. The exchange of your passions has -and continues to be- an endless source of healing as you navigate life post-hero work. Each night away, you've danced into a settled calm with him; learning the rhythm of his habits. His sounds, his silences. When Izuku meets your gaze in the mirror, you read his mind loud and clear in how he emotes: he fawns, he sighs, then nods in the dearest way.
A/N: give me my sweet, simpering Deku, or give me death. Also by the way, yall are the best readers out there, thank you so much for all the love for my lil stories!
For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on AO3
Life post-hero work was an adjustment for you⌠but you were starting to really get into the perks.
The lack of daily physical hardship holds the top spot on your list. PT? You can handle that on a rolling basisâ the worst is behind you, and due to what you put yourself through which resulted in your injury, youâre out of official hero work for the foreseeable future- and in a way, grateful for the break on your muscles. You still retain your quirk, but can enjoy its thrills on a more recreational basisâ your sweet boyfriend has even helped your healing by way of gentle exercises to keep things moving properly and get life manageable for you.Â
Next would be the diet. You could certainly dip back into your baking hobby guilt-free now. You couldnât get away from the hero world entirely -nor did you want to⌠but being able to settle into an agency office with an hourly job was also an incredible blessing. Late nights here and there were inevitable, but on the whole, you were able to greet and end your days with a steadiness of routine and safety.
Meeting Izuku Midoriya was the icing on your early retirement cake. Where you were tenderly finding your footing off the hero charts, Izuku held your hand to keep you upright. He didnât lead or pull back on youâ just came alongside you, so you didnât fall too hard on the knees of self-doubt. Heâs always so good like that. He knows your path because he himself shares it, and what a thing of fate that is.
New to you now though, is the general scope of free time you have. Not a forced flexibility due to the demand asked of an on-call hero, but you have paid time off. You have flex hours. You can work from home, if you so chooseâ so when you get the call that Izuku has been asked to hold a spot at the Sports Festival as the lead commentator, you are over the moon that you can answer with a wholehearted âyesâ when he asks you to come with him.
As if heâd be anything short of ecstatic, you truly believe the job was made for him. Heâs got books upon books of hero research written by hand, and is essentially a walking Brittanica for Japanâs up and coming heroes, because of course he watches every other schoolâs sports fests in his free time so that his class can be the most prepared. Taking the role Present Mic once held when he was a student is a full-circle moment, and it's pretty precious seeing him in it.Â
From day one, heâs a master of his craft, and from the couch you share in the observation deck with his co-teacher, Aizawa, youâre beyond impressed. You honestly wouldnât be able to tell what department he was aligned with; heâs observant and complimentary of every studentsâ moves. You asked the pro hero hero beside you if this was the case when Izuku was younger, and he merely offered a sleepy,
âIntolerably, yes.â
But you see the lift of his cheek against his eyepatch and know that heâs secretly proud.Â
The Sports Festival spreads over the course of a week now, as the culture surrounding the events available for support students to engage in has increased- to Izukuâs pride and joy. The training and feats of the heroes wouldnât be possible without the other side of the coin, so heâs just as enthusiastic to hype up the developments of those courses as well.Â
Watching your sweet Izuku -catching his eye when he looks back over to you and silently ushers you over to come watch an anticipated match-up of his kids off and on- is medicine for you. This entire exchange of passions has, and continues to be, a source of joy for you and is a treasured part of doing life with him. On that note, the event being held away from your district also grants you extended time to spend together that you normally wouldnât, given the difference in your professional lives. Here, youâre locked in to five days and four nights of perfectly synced timeâ something youâve not been able to do up to this point in your relationship.
Falling asleep and waking up together? This is the best thing ever.
On the first night, it hits your adorably flustered boyfriend that youâd indeed be sharing a room- and bed. That arrangement was something youâd registered the moment heâd asked you and were assuming heâd mentally (and spiritually) prepared for; but evidently it faced him the moment he stepped up to the counter to check in that Nezu had arranged you both to be together by default in the hotel block.Â
But rather than falling on the trope of taking the armchair or sleeping on the ground like a middle school nervous nelly, Izuku was shy about it at first⌠but eager for the chance. The secret part of him finally let out some boyish excitement to find a bed big enough for you to actually share. Youâd learned here that you both can spoon like you do on the couch, but you have so much room now. On both your parts, youâre a bit giggly and stiff at first- but settle in sweetly for the most comfortable night of your life.
By the second night, you both scoot into your room and -after a day of dancing around each other at more and more events- youâd be heard from the hallway: jumping into his arms and tackling him to the bed, filled with giggles and lots of kissing until you tangle up more willingly to sleep.
Night three, youâd both stayed out longer than you intended; catching up with some of the other instructors, which turned into essentially a repeat of the night you met. You take to talking up a storm on one of the hotel patios in a nerdy exchange of info-dumping and story-swapping that continues for almost three hours. You basically collapsed into bed the instant you got back, not even brushing your teeth out of exhaustion. Then by your fourth, you both are still so tired from the late night before and you flop on the bed, still in the sun-warmed clothes you set out in that morning.
It's so nice to be held by him- and it's torture to then look back up at each other. Thereâs definitely a softness found in Izukuâs face -as always, when it comes to your perfectly freckled sweetheart- but also something deep and personal. You want to ask him to shower together so badly and get rid of the day together- anything to add to this closeness youâve been tiptoe-ing through all week. Worry over pushing him when heâs essentially on the clock keeps you from asking. This time, you still go about your rituals separately, only when you get out, you stay in a towel and shorts instead of full dressing down for bed.
When you're at the in-suite mirror doing your expedited, travel-sized skincare routine and Izuku stops by after he's out of the bathroom, he hesitates mid-step from trying to duck around youâ and comes close, holds you by the middle. He stands shirtless behind you for the first time, showing you the scarring he carries in its fullest- no more tanks or undershirts hiding the worst from you.Â
Youâre as they say in the movies- incandescently happy.
âYou smell so good,â he whispers.Â
âYou feel so good,â you answer. âWanna go lay down?â
When Izuku meets your gaze in the mirror, you read his mind loud and clear in how he emotes: he fawns, he sighs, then nods in the dearest way. No sense in holding this darn towel up anymore, you simply turn in his arms, drop it, and kiss his surprise away with your reach up to his neck for a kiss. Your first of many, on this last night you could be wrapped up in your incredible boyfriend's arms with nothing but tender intentions on your mind.
Neither of you see a strong need for too many clothes under the sheets for this little foray into skin-to-skin contact, and enjoy a restorative makeout session. He's marked you up a bit, too, by all the harsh kissing he tends to do towards you (you low-key love this, since âthatâs what makeupâs forâ), and you especially appreciate how he plays with you perched in this arrangement.
Youâre the first girl he's ever had topless in his reachâ which is obvious from how he holds you in his lap nuzzling at your chest,
"Wow, y'r the moss'beautiful woman i'vever seen~"
From your previous talks of dalliances, you proudly keen over him, "I think I'm the only naked woman you've ever seen."
"-I've seen naked women."
You glance back to him, humored but flat, "Who."
Those green doe eyes flicker back up at you, oddly innocent as he quickly names his former classmate, who youâve commonly heard referred to as Yaomomo,Â
âCreati?â he tries to jog your memory, âi-it's part of her quirk, I didn't evâr mean to look..."
Playfully suspicious, you test him, "Never had a feel?"
"I mean,â Izuku sharpens up a little to answer clearly, âShe fell on me once, over in one of the training centers- and I wasn't gonna let her hit or head on something.."
"So a 'strategic catch'. Is that what we're calling it?" You sway your chest in front of him, feeling up his own, âIâm a horribly jealous creature, as you well know.â
He sinks and nuzzles gently at your pushed up chest- by his desire for lift. Youâre playing with his painfully polite nature, of course- nothing but secure of your place with him.
"Not even once. Promise."Â
Izuku lays a little kiss on your freshly cleaned skin where your heart lies under the surface, and ends up moaning at how soft it is- and so, keeps peppering kisses to your delight, "Oh wow... Oh wow, you're soft."
His name leaves you in an unsteady sigh as youâve been scratching through his hair until it starts feeling so sharp and heady that you grip onto his neck in need of more support.
He's working on some passes with his tongue around your nipple when he whisper-sighs up to you,Â
"mmmm don't stop doing tha'..."
So you play with his hair at his request, and he adores every bit of you thatâs in reach: chin to cheek to neck while being the most gently vocal you've ever heard him.
The minute you rolled your barely clothed hips up on his lap just once, he split his attention from holding your waist to him to smoothing over your thigh to encourage the movement.
He started a slinking lean as he did so, losing his absolute mind watching you in a daze, before something dull hit your window - followed by a kidâs call of 'Sorry!!' . You siphon all your attention at the noise in a wide-eyed look that matches his.
Sweetly enough, you noted how fast Izuku held you at the sound, like he was going into strict âprotectâ mode at the clash of a frisbee.
But, out of danger and out of breath, Izuku simply fell back and palmed his face.
"ughhbyou feel'so good... Mdizzy."
The heat youâd felt simmering in you has died at the interruption, but your fondness sure hasnât.
You giggled, lowering into his chest and gripping the covers over your shoulders to warm you up, "Good dizzy?"
Even with an arm over his eye, your boy chuckled brilliantly,Â
"Very good dizzy, honâ. Whew. We uhâ we better stop before they start banginâ on the door next."
You carded through his hair more, self-assured he was still just as taken by you despite the hard stop. How he kept you to him while shuffling the covers over you both was proof he didnât want you going anywhere. Once settled, he felt he could focus again and brushed your hair back for attention,
"Hi there, handsome~"
"h-hi~" Izuku echoed.
You kissed again, a good deal calmer at first, but growing like a steady fire. Lips roaming, claiming, and keeping you ever closer. Comfort and reclaimed eagerness tipped you over by his strong guiding hand, all in favor to continue to mouth along your clavicle again.
Then, at the first sound of your addictive moans, he detached- forehead to your sternum, watching the rise and fall of your sweet belly beneath him.
"Ahh..â Izukuâs little war with himself was adorable, âw-we should stop. For real. I canât- thatâd be mean."
âYou said that,â you answer with mirth, âbut I donât think âLittle Dekuâ agrees~â
Izuku wheezes out your first, middle, last and retired hero title to the point of coughing before you take it easy on him. Poor, desperate thing, brought low by little tease.
You chuffed against his stroke of nerves kindly.Â
"Yes we should, if you say so," You snaked a hand through his hair, "Thank the Maker we don't have to second guess the chemistry department, huh?"
Izuku laughed brightly, slotting himself atop you, between the legs so you didn't have to feel how semi-hard he was. Snuggling back down, your heartbeats held their own conversation, content to cool to a reasonable temperature and slow things down, together.
"I'm so glad you came here with me." Izuku spoke softly to your neck, "This time with you really does me so much good."
And you really have enjoyed it. Getting to see firsthand the place where much of his proving of himself started, this event forged a lot of bonds with the close friends he still has to this day.Â
"I'm glad I did too," You kissed the hairline within reach and simply laid comforting scratches along his back. "It's gonna be hell to go back."
"You don't wanna go back to work?"
You threw pity into your voice, "I don't wanna give up this glorified sleepover, no."
You donât mean just getting carried away with thin walls and thinner restraint. You mean the intimacy that getting out of town sometimes offers in a way nothing else would. The week has made you softer, more in tune to the rhythm of Izukuâs habits. His sounds, his silences.Â
The dampened shyness you hold thinking about it floats across him, so he laid back onto your arm to look up at you,Â
"We don't have to. We can still have them~"
"Yeah?" You wonder how, earnestly, and he smiles in kind.
"Yeah!â his answer radiates nothing but pure sunshine, âWhenever you want! I'll come over, and we'll cook, and have podcast nights and snuggle, and... and.."
Heâs got a look now- one that teeters along the line of flirty and unsure.
"Snuggle?" you finish for him mercifully.
"Y-yeah."
"Vocal snuggles?"
"Stop it," Izuku hid in your shoulder, "don't make fun of me."
"I'm not making fun of you~" you turned and kissed his blushing cheeks, rubbing his shoulder slowly. "No more than I'm making fun of myself for sounding like a wonton Victorian who just caught sight of an ankle for the first time."
His laughter betrays how offended he is at the idea, "StoooopâŚ"
"Mmmm, I don't think I will!"
Time to take things slow.. that might top your list now. If it means more nights with your hero draped in your arms, then the promise of time spent under his attention beats out any other remedy youâve found so far.Â
#izuku midoriya#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#mha fanfiction#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha#bnha#izuku smut#fluff and smut but still
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Thinking and thoughts here
Could you just imagine the impossible with me? Being in a loving marriage with your beloved husband -who you believe is human because why wouldn't you? He looks and acts like every other human and monsters aren't real. And he just adored you so very much, he communicates when he doesn't understand something or when a miscommunication is had. He never fights with you but you both work together to fix any problems, and focus on showing how much you care for each other. Truthfully he's the model husband. Almost to a scripted degree, but you've never felt so adored. Especially when he mirrors your affection and never seems to expect anything explicit, nor want it either. It feels safe, and comfortable... So why do you feel the sense of dread in your gut as you're looking at him right now?
Well, it might be how he's standing in the doorway, bag of takeout in hand, smile on his face. Mirroring how he always stands. But it's a brief moment, a flash of dark lines almost like thread wrapping around his joints, moving him like a giant flesh puppet.
And just as quickly as they were seen- they're gone again. Just your loving husband, Dorrin. Standing tall and gazing down, as though the mountain was watching the river below. Absolutely enamored and unyielding to everyone except you who he'd mold himself to better love as time goes on.
At your expression, his smile fades into a look of concern. His gaze follows yours, to his hand. And the brief flash of threading is gone but he knows exactly what you've seen.
His gaze returns to you, hollow. Slowly setting down the bag he was carrying and slowly crosses the room to get to you.
He seems... Empty. As if any signals for how he should be acting have been cut off. His looming figure almost listless as he gazes down at you with a dull gaze, no life behind his eyes. After a moment, his voice finally rings out. "Has this one displeased you, little love?"
You feel an inherent wrongness about how your beloved husband is speaking presumably of himself as if he isn't even here, with a slight stumble back it answers his question well enough.
Dorrin slumps, like a wind up toy who's finished it's final dance. The voice that drifts through the air is so familiar yet leaves your brain trembling at the sheer magnitude of the being behind it even if unseen. "I apologize, this puppet has proven defective for its sole purpose. Rest assured, such an oversight will be rectified promptly. Only the best shall be allowed closest to you."
With a horrified expression you can only watch as Dorrin- what you know to be Dorrin is... Folded away. Limbs snapping together into a ball not unlike when a child is ready to toss away their doll. And it's... Not there anymore. No blink of an eye, no noise or sight, it was there and it wasn't. And now you stand in the empty living room of a home you've shared with someone you thought you knew so very well.
What do you do?
What can you do?
You can feel gazes on you still, the same when that thing would watch you while you rested together. You can try to move towards a door or even a window and find them consumed in darkness. There is no threat here, but you are not allowed to leave at the moment.
You don't know it yet, but Dorrin just wants to keep you safe in the home he's so carefully crafted for you alone. Tonight he'll leave a new puppet at your door, identical to the last hundred that had done something leading to any inconvenience on you. You've never noticed before, and he doesn't know how to condense himself into a small enough form to be loved by such a miniscule creature he's so deeply fallen for. But that puppets strings weren't good enough to remain hidden. The new one will be better.
Only the best for you.
He will ensure it.
(Basically what happens when an endless creature of Eldritch being falls for a little bitty human? Why not craft a puppet to express his love for them on a scale they can comprehend! But those fickle puppets- never perfect enough for his little love)
#letters of yearning#x reader#monster boyfriend#monster romance#gender neutral reader#asexual reader#monster x reader#Dorrin the creature
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you panic.
pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader cw: reader's pov. panic attack, simon in protective mode, hurt/comfort ig? 6 | gold rush masterlist.
you couldnât breathe. the room seemed small, walls closing in and trapping your limp figure inside of an endless nightmare, compressing your lungs until no air reached your alveolus. the mirror reflected the terror stamped on your face, bloodshot eyes staring at the terrifying warning that froze your blood flow and the trembling hands clutching to your arms, wrapping your torso like a straightjacket, desperately trying to pressure your body into disappearing from that reality.
up to this point, youâve managed to control your fear. shove your worries aside, trust that nothing would trespass your walls and infinite security measures, promise yourself that it would never infest your brain, but that was the last straw. it was your home. you werenât safe anywhere and it was just a matter of time until youâd be ripped to shreds in your own garden, crimson painting the destroyed flower beds and a golden crown placed on your head like a perfect corpse-bride.
your knees dropped to the frigid floor with a thud, dreadful mist clouding your vision as tears rolled down your cheeks. you couldnât think, you couldnât speak, and the alcohol in your veins only managed to heighten the panic. your soul was floating out of your form, knocking on the bars of the prison, looking for a way out of the ordeal and hoping that it was just a hallucination. the loud thumps of your heart ringed in your ears, muffling Ghostâs attempts to get your attention.
the knot in your throat kept tightening, constricting your vocal cords until the only sounds that could be heard were your strained sobs. being in your own skin was overwhelming and youâd give it all to escape the well you were stranded in, but the water was rising quickly, covering your head and drowning any attempt at tranquillity.
âhey, iâm here,â Ghost said, trying to coax you back to the present, âjust focus on my voice, can you take a deep breath for me?âÂ
your dilated pupils take the sight of him crouched on the floor and follow the movement of his chest, letting his low timbre pierce your eardrum and soothe your heartbeat. you mimic him, feeling the crisp air cursing through your nostrils, down your trachea and bronchi, finally having enough oxygen in your system.Â
âcan i touch you?â he asks, and you notice the concern behind his hazel irises. you canât ignore the shame that came with your panicked state, breaking down in front of someone you barely know and who mustâve endured so much worse in his life. you hate feeling weak, frail, like youâd crumble by just one look, but you need comfort. need it so badly that you nod, allowing him to take your quivering hand in his.
his grip is firm, and despite the roughness of his palm, the touch is delicate, tender, enveloping you in gentle heat. you melt in his arms, pitiful sobs leaving your lips when you turn in nothing more than putty in that moment. âshh, i got you, everything will be alright,â he coos, doing his best to calm you, but you couldnât believe him.
how could everything be alright? the last ounce of safety you had was just taken from you. âitâs myâ itâs my home, Ghost,â you stutter, lifting your head to look at him, âiâm not safe in my own home anymore, i canâtââ another wave of tears flood your waterline, and you stop before finishing your sentence. the anxiety was still bubbling in your stomach, it was still too much to handle at once.Â
âi know, love, iâll get you out of here, trust me. nothing will harm you. now just breathe, okay? slow and steady.â his tone is light, almost ethereal, but unmistakably determined. it sounded more than just a phrase to pacify you. it was a promise. a vow. one made with his whole heart and he wouldnât die before making sure youâre safe.
it takes a while before your brain settles back, slipping out of the hysteria. Ghost lifts you to your feet, taking a step back to give you some space. you sense him studying your expressions, wanting a hint of how to proceed. âwhat do you need?â he questions softly.
what do i need? the query lingers on your mind while he gazes at you. you're not sure. you never had an attack like this, never had an emotional collapse, never needed so much comfort. âi... don't know,â you gulp, glancing around the room and viewing the bathroom door, âi guess i could go for, uhm, a bath? it might help, right?â
he nods, pacing past you and walking through the door. you faintly hear the running water filling the bathtub and you strip off your heels, your clothes, let your hair fall down and your skin feel the cool air of the room. you shiver, but the tingling of the cold reminds you that youâre still alive, so thereâs still a flimsy hope of peace in your future.Â
you put on a robe and head to the bathroom, tip-toeing on the chilling tiles. Ghost moves to the exit, allowing you privacy in your vulnerable state, but your meek request makes him freeze on the spot. âcan you... stay?â you sigh, âiâm scared of being alone right now.â
he pauses, not knowing how to answer, and you shift your weight from one leg to another, fingers fidgeting with the fluffy belt that holds your covering in place, regretting even asking for such a thing. âsure.â he clears his throat, taking a seat in the tiny wooden ottoman in the corner. the image is quite comical, the bulky man slowly leaning down to the stool as if one glance from him would crack the material, and a timid chuckle escapes your mouth.
his face turns to the side when you undo the knot of your robe and you feel the heat coming to your cheeks when you come to your senses. what the fuck did i ask? youâre bare, slipping into the warm water that was supposed to relieve your anxious mood, but that mainly swells your chest with embarrassment.Â
you donât know if you should be grateful that heâs not making a big deal of it, or sink in the tub due to the quiet â too quiet â atmosphere. Ghost is nothing but a gentleman at that moment, maintaining his head down and eyes away from your blurred naked body, so different from every man youâve been near. they all seem to think that because youâre known, famous, whatever, youâre merely a doll on display for public use. itâs nice to not feel like an object.
after a long hour of letting the water purge your anguishes, you find yourself draped on a blanket on the sofa, sipping on a cup of chamomile tea that he, so heartily, prepared. heâs on the phone in the next room, and you donât want to pry, but your ears unconsciously perk up to catch some of his words. heâs talking to someone named Price? something about a safe house?Â
a few minutes later, heâs back, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. âso, weâre gonna move,â your brows raised, confused by his statement, âtalked to an old friend and i got you a safe place, you can stay there as long as you need, the bastard wonât find you. and iâll be there with you all the time, okay?â heâs gonna stay with me?
rationally, you know itâs a good idea. you donât feel protected in your house anymore, and having him constantly by your side would probably give your heart a rest and unburden your shoulders. but moving is a big thing for a life so regulated. âDanââÂ
âiâll talk to him tomorrow, donât worry,â he assures, putting a hand on your knee and giving you a small smile. your vision was so hazy before that you didnât even notice that he had his mask down, and you find yourself musing on the curve of his lips.Â
âthank you, Ghost.â
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#f!reader#fem!reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost imagine#ghost fanfiction#bodyguard!ghost#bodyguard!simon#hurt/comfort#ghost angst#actress!reader#bodyguard au#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mw3#gold rush#bodyguard!ghost âž#nyx writes âž#midnightarcheress
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hear me out for the legal line in &team, y/n forgets to bring a towel into the shower and has to call for her s/o to bring it for herâŚyou take it from theređ¤
reaction to forgetting a towel... | &team
â°â âď˝ĄË đŞź pairing: legal line and gf!reader
â°â âď˝ĄË đŞź genre: romantic, really suggestive
â°â âď˝ĄË đŞź authorâs notes: this made me đľâđŤ iâm literally not okay anon! i hope i did your ask justice!! this really drove me insane fr thinking about this...i couldn't come up with anything for harua and taki, so they're not included in this one đ
K - the moment he hears your voice calling from the bathroom, he doesn't think it's for a towel. thinks it's for him to join you but instead you ask him for a towel. his eyes catch yours in the mirror, noticing the way the water droplets fall down your bare shoulders. he does get the towel for you, but only after he's taken off his clothes and joined you in the shower!! teases you that you planned this and loves how soaked you are :( safe to say, your water bill that month was higher than usual...
Fuma - wonders why and how you even forgot a towel, to begin with, but bring your towel regardless. tries not to think about how he could join you in the shower and then he wouldn't have to shower later in the day. sighs in defeat after he sees you come out of the shower and admire yourself in the mirror (heâs just in love fr)!! pulls you to the bed and makes sure you know just how much he loves you :( be ready for multiple rounds of him rewarding you for being so good to him!
Nicholas - a tease!! gives you the towel and after you've turned off the water, he's all over you! thinks it's so hot how the towel is loosely draped over your dripping figure, and knows you'll be dripping more before the night is over :( tells you first how he'll help you dry off, and he does! he even blow-dried your hair after telling you numerous times how stunning you are, but let's just say you're in for a long night...
Ej - he would be instantly blushing. he's literally mesmerized with you. thinks about how good you smell due to your body wash and would offer to dry your hair off for you. holds the towel for you as you come out of the shower, but by no means is he able to take his eyes off of your figure. how can he?? decides to stay between your legs the entire night- making you scream his name all night
Yuma - a TEASE!! he brings the towel but god, heâs so sarcastic about it. âoh, you need this?â and you just got out of the shower so itâs cold, but best believe yuma has ways to warm you up!! smirks when you get the towel to cover yourself saying, âthe towel will only last a few minutes, love. plus i can make you feel hotâ youâre blushing and internally dying!!
Jo - he's halfway between going insane and being incredibly shy :(( puts the towel next to you but turns away from you, giving you some privacy! as soon as you're out of the bathroom, he's kissing you all over!! giggles when you say that you have to get dressed :( decides then and there that you will be pampered all night! like ej, stays between your legs the entire night...reveling in how delicious you are!
#laurâs thoughts đ§đźââď¸#andteam imagines#andteam smut#&team imagines#&team nicholas#&team reactions#andteam x reader#andteam nicholas#andteam fuma#andteam k#andteam jo#andteam ej#andteam yuma
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hi i was just wondering if you could write a pregnant joel miller fanfic (where joel is pregnant) thank youuuuuu
two hearts, one bond
3.2k ⥠Joel Miller x f!reader
post-outbreak, established relationship, pregnancy Summary: Joel experiences sympathetic pregnancy. A/N: Sweet fluff with angst sprinkled on top. Thanks so much for your request, Anon! I hope this is to your liking even if Joelâs not physically carrying the baby. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Dividers by the wonderful @cafekitsune.
keep you warm ⥠Joel masterlist
Joel stands in front of the bathroom mirror, his reflection staring back at him. The towel around his hips barely conceals his nakedness as he scrutinizes his own body. He frowns, his fingers grazing over the small swell of his belly.
Itâs nothing compared to yours, but to him, it feels like an unwelcome intrusion.
âHey, sweetheart?â he calls out, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
You glance up from the book youâre reading in the living room, eyebrows raised attentively. âYeah?â
Joelâs gaze remains fixed on his reflection as he hesitates before finally speaking. âDo I...do I look fat?â
Your brow furrows in surprise. Joel has never been one to fret over his appearance, especially not like this. âFat? Joel, youâre not fat. Youâre perfect just the way you are.â
He pokes his head out of the bathroom, his expression pleading for reassurance. âAre you sure? I feel like Iâve gained some weight lately.â
You set your book aside and waddle your way to the bathroom, your steps careful yet eager. Wrapping your arms around Joel from behind as far as your eight-month bump will allow, you nestle against him with a deep exhale.
You feel the warmth of his skin, the comforting rise and fall of his chest, and the soft hair that trails from his chest to his belly button.
The overwhelming intimacy of the moment floods you with gratitude. You are thankful for the love of your life, for the miracle of growing a child, and for the simple, profound gift of being alive to share this journey.
âJoel, youâre not gaining weight,â you murmur. âAnd even if you were, that would just mean youâre eating well, which is a good thing. Little one and I need you to be strong and healthy. Besides, I love every part of you, including this little belly of yours.â
He lets out a shaky sigh, leaning back into your embrace. âThanks, darlinâ. I donât know whatâs gotten into me lately. I just...I feel off. Canât sleep at night and my stomachâs been givinâ me trouble.â
You press a kiss to his shoulder, trying to ignore the ache in your own body as you hold him close. If you could, youâd absorb all the things that pain him in a heartbeat.
Since starting your journey together, youâve tried your best to help Joel carry the heavy things that weigh him down, to shield him from the things that dull his shine, to mend his broken heart by loving him unconditionally and wholly.
To show him that there is light in darkness.
Youâre convinced heâs your purpose in life. And now that youâre close to meeting the child you two have created, youâre more protective of him than ever before.
You love him. And you need him.
âHmm, maybe youâre stressed because the babyâs coming soon?â you muse, running a hand through Joelâs hair, softly scratching his scalp. âI am too, believe me. Just existing is exhausting at this point. But hey, weâve faced clickers, and infected, and raiders together. Weâve clawed our way out of so many hopeless situations that should have killed us, and now look at us. We made it. Weâre safe. We can do baby. We can do anything if we stick together, hm?â
Youâre saying this to him as much as youâre saying it to yourself. Youâre very aware of the little changes in Joelâs behavior, you know he hasnât been feeling well. And itâs stressing you out.
Joelâs tense shoulders relax under your touch, and he looks at your reflection in the mirror with a mixture of gratitude and adoration.
âI donât know what Iâd do without you, darlinâ,â he says softly. âAnd youâre so right. Weâve been through hell and back together. Whatâs one more challenge, huh?â
You smile, feeling a surge of affection for the man whoâs shown you more love than you ever knew existed.
âExactly. And just think, soon weâll have a little bundle of joy to add to our adventures.â
Joel turns around and cups your face with his warm palms, pressing a lingering kiss to your soft lips. The sensation sends a delightful shiver down your spine, and feeling his smile warms your heart as it always does.
Yet, in his eyes, you catch a flicker of sadness as he pulls back to get dressed in the bedroom.
Sitting on the couch again, you watch him with growing concern as he grabs his rifle and backpack, puts on his thick winter coat, and promises you and your little one that heâll be back before sunset.
He heads out, leaving you to your freshly brewed coffee and to your book, but you canât shake the unease settling in your chest.
âItâs okay, little one,â you groan as your babyâs kicking you, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. âYour dadâs got a lot of responsibilities and that can be tiring and stressful, you know? But you donât need to worry. Mommyâs looking after him. Just like sheâll always look after you.âÂ
You try to catch your breath, softly stroking your belly in the hopes itâll calm the baby down. It works, sort of, and after a couple of minutes you feel strong enough to get up and get dressed. Â
Anxious, you try to fill your day with chores and a few hours in the library, all the while reminding yourself that Joel wouldnât keep secrets from you, that heâs healthy, that everythingâs going to be okay. You repeat these reassurances like a mantra, but as the days pass, Joelâs unease only seems to grow.Â
He becomes increasingly sensitive to smells, gagging at the slightest whiff of certain foods cooking in the kitchen. Some mornings, heâll only drink his black coffee, refusing to eat a single bite of the breakfast youâve lovingly prepared. He assures you itâs not about your cooking, but he canât fully explain why heâs so turned off by foods he enjoyed just days ago.
You notice his restless nights too.
He isnât sleeping, and you often find yourself awake, hearing him get up in the middle of the night to take a walk outside. He always tries to be quiet, believing he hasnât woken you, but you lie there, listening to his footsteps fade into the darkness.
He usually returns after half an hour, slipping back into bed behind you, and attempting to find some semblance of peaceful sleep.
The most striking change, though, is in his mood. His calm, reassuring demeanor has been replaced by irritability and anxiety. Every little sound seems to set him off, and he jumps at the slightest touch.
You try your best to be patient, knowing that heâs going through a tough time, but itâs hard when your own patience is wearing thin.
âCan you please pass me the salt?â you ask one morning, reaching across the table during breakfast.
Joel flinches as if your voice startled him, nearly knocking over his coffee mug in the process. âSorry,â he mutters, handing you the salt with shaky hands.
You sigh inwardly, trying to keep your frustration in check. âItâs okay. Just...try to relax, alright?â
He nods, but you can tell heâs still on edge. As the morning wears on, his sensitivity only seems to increase. He jumps at the sound of a door closing, flinches when you accidentally brush against him, and seems on the verge of tears at the slightest provocation.
Finally, you reach your breaking point.
âJoel, could you please stop being so jumpy? Youâre acting like a nervous wreck, and itâs driving me fucking crazy!â
The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, and you immediately regret them when you see the hurt look on Joelâs face. His eyes well up with tears, and he sniffles, his lower lip trembling.
âIâm sorry, darlinâ,â he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. âI donât know whatâs wrong with me. Iâm sorry, Iâm soââ
You rush to his side, wrapping your arms around him tightly.Â
âOh, Joel, Iâm so sorry. I didnât mean to snap at you like that,â you look into his wet eyes and pull him even closer to you. âIâm just so worried about you. It scares me and I feel helpless when you donât feel well.â
He buries his face in your shoulder, his tears soaking into your shirt. âI donât understand whatâs goinâ on with me. Itâs like...I canât control it, you know?â
You stroke his back soothingly, trying to offer whatever comfort you can.
âShh, itâs okay, itâs okay. Iâm here,â you coo, holding him close. âItâs probably just the stress of everything going on. Youâve been so busy these past few months, helping out with patrols and construction so much. Plus, Iâm close to giving birth and, as wonderful as that is, itâs scary as hell. I get it. But Joel? Weâll get through this together, alright?â
He nods against your shoulder, his grip on you tightening. âI know, darlinâ. Thank you.â
Later that night, lying in bed together, Joelâs hand drapes protectively over you, feeling the babyâs gentle movements.
For the first time in over two weeks, he falls asleep and stays asleep through the night. The steady rhythm of his breathing eases your frayed nerves, giving you hope that he just needed to release all that pent-up emotion and that crying it all out helped him.
But, despite his mood improving a little over the next three days, his physical state seems to worsen. You try your best to support him through it all, but itâs clear that something is genuinely wrong.
One evening, as you curl up together on the couch, watching the flickering flames of the fireplace, Joelâs stomach churns audibly. He pales and clutches his abdomen, then suddenly bolts upright, rushing to the bathroom. You follow close behind, worry etching deeper lines into your face as you hear him retching, barely making it in time before throwing up his dinner for the third night in a row.
âThatâs it,â you declare, determination and concern in your voice, as you rub his back and hand him a damp cloth to wipe his face. âYouâre going to the doctor tomorrow.â
Joel protests weakly, his voice strained. âIâll be fine, darlinâ. I donât wanna be a burden.â
âYouâre not a burden, Joel,â you reply firmly, your eyes searching his for understanding. âYouâve been feeling off for weeks now and I canât stand to see you suffer like this anymore. We need to find out whatâs going on. Not only for your sake but also for mine and the babyâs.â
Joel looks at you, his eyes softening at the mention of your child. He nods resignedly, his shoulders slumping.
âAlright. Iâll go.â
As Joel heads out to his doctorâs appointment aloneâyou couldnât join him since youâre experiencing horrible back painâyouâre left lying in bed, your mind consumed with worry. Every worst-case scenario plays out in your head, and you canât shake the feeling of dread gnawing at your insides.
What if something is seriously wrong with Joel? What if heâs sick? What if, no matter what you do, no matter how much you love him, that just isnât enough? What ifâŚwhat if you canât protect him this time?
Itâs the same intrusive thoughts youâve been having since falling in love with him all this time ago, but now that heâs shown actual symptoms of some sort of illness, youâre scared to death.
Your own discomfort from the pregnancy seems magnified as you lie there, feeling helpless and alone. Tears stream down your cheeks as you reach a hand to gently caress your swollen belly, whispering words of reassurance to the tiny life growing inside you.
âItâs okay, little one. Daddy will be back soon. We just have to be strong,â you murmur, though the anxiety in your voice betrays your attempt at calm.
You know your baby can feel your stress, and that knowledge only heightens your anxiety. Your heart races, and you struggle to breathe evenly. The minutes stretch on endlessly, each one an eternity as you wait for Joel to return.Â
Finally, you hear the front door open, and your heart leaps into your throat as you strain to listen for any sign of his footsteps. You try to judge by his gait and the pace with which he takes off his coat and boots how bad the news is going to be, but you can barely hear anything over the loud thumping of your heartbeat and the rushing of blood in your ears.
Joel finds you sitting up in bed, his expression one you canât read.
âHey, sweetheart,â he says softly, crossing the room to sit beside you. His face falls when he sees your tears and how scared you look, and immediately lifts his hands to caress your cheeks.Â
âOh, darlinâ, Iââ
âPlease just tell me,â you blurt out, feeling like your heart is going to explode if you have to wait even one second longer. âI can take it, I promise. What did the doctor say?â
âWell,â Joel starts, taking your trembling hands in his, his voice slightly sheepish as he looks into your swollen eyes. âThe doctor said that I, uhâhe said I have Couvade syndrome.â
Oh no. No, no, no. That doesnât sound good. Couvade syndrome? Youâve never heard of it.
âWhatâs that? Is it dangerous? What can we do toâcan it be cured?â Panic seeps into your voice as you clutch Joelâs arm.
âDarlinâ, calm down,â he says, leading your hands back into the safety of his own. âThere is a cure.â
âOkay, what is it? You need to take medication? Have surgery? What is it?â
âThereâs no need for medication or surgery,â Joel assures you, softly squeezing your hands. âAnd, uh,â he clears his throat, âIâll apparently be perfectly healthy again in about a month, more or less, dependinâ on when our little one decides to meet us.âÂ
A small smile creeps onto Joelâs lips as he speaks, but you furrow your brow in confusion. His hands move to your bump, caressing it gently.
Your mind races, connecting the dots of Joelâs recent symptomsâthrowing up, food aversion, sensitivity, complaints about his belly, and sleep troubles.
Then it hits you.
âAre you kidding me?â you whisper in disbelief.
âNo, darlinâ, Iâm not,â Joel chuckles, watching the fear in your eyes morph into a mix of outrage and bewilderment.
âItâs called sympathetic pregnancy. It means my bodyâs been mimickinâ your pregnancy symptoms. The nausea, the fatigue, even the weight gain. The doc said itâs rare but harmless. Iâm not sick, darlinâ. Iâm just goinâ through this with you.â
Youâre still staring at him, mouth agape, slowly shaking your head. âSympathetic pregnancy? You mean...youâve been feeling sick because Iâm pregnant?â
Joel nods. âPretty much, yeah.â
Relief washes over you, but the absurdity of the situation also hits you, and you canât help but laugh through a new set of tears.
âWhat the hell, Joel? I thought I was going to lose you, and now youâre telling me this was all psychosomatic? I canât believe it. You were so sick, and Iâhuh?â
Joel chuckles and pulls you into a tight hug, drawing soothing circles on your aching back. You relax in his arms, and for the first time in weeks, feel like you can breathe freely again.
âWhen I said Iâd be with you forever and stand by you through it all, my body mustâve heard that and decided to make me feel what youâre experiencinâ with this pregnancy.â
âYouâre unbelievable,â you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck. âAll this moping around was that?â
âHey, that morninâ sickness is no joke, I actually felt like I was dyinâ.â
Eyebrows raised, you pull back to look at him with an expression that says, âSeriously? Youâre telling me about morning sickness?â
Joel can read your thoughts and he grins, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
âThis isnât a competition, darlinâ. Whoâs to say whoâs pregnancy has been harder or whoâs been feelinâ worseââ
He doesnât get any further before youâre pulling him into a hug again, effectively shutting him up.
âI was so scared, Joel,â you whisper, digging your fingers into his back. âI was so scared Iâd lose you.â
âI know, sweetheart, I know.â He softly strokes the back of your head. âBut youâre not gettin' rid of me that easily. I made a vow to you and our child, and I intend to keep it.â
âI love you, Joel,â you murmur. âMy big baby.â
The morning sun filters through the curtains as you shuffle into the kitchen, feeling like youâve barely slept a wink. Joel is already there, slouched over the table, a look of utter exhaustion on his face.
âMorning, sleepyhead,â you tease, crossing the kitchen to sit on his lap.Â
âMorninâ, sweetheart,â he mumbles with a tired smile, happily wrapping his arms around you, and capturing your lips in a kiss that leaves you even more breathless than you already were.
âSomeoneâs feeling better,â you murmur, gently nudging his nose with yours.
âMuch better,â he nods, his eyes crinkling with affection. âI still didnât sleep too much last night, but just havinâ a diagnosis helps a lot. Now we just have to wait for our little one to arrive, and Iâll be good as new.â He kisses the tip of your nose, his gaze filled with adoration.
âHow about we cook some bacon and eggs, hm?â you suggest, and Joelâs eyes light up. Heâs incredibly hungry.
As you work together in the kitchen, Joel occasionally has to take breaks to sit down, claiming his âpregnancy fatigueâ is kicking in and that his âfeet hurtâ. You roll your eyes fondly, knowing heâs milking his this for all itâs worth.
After a filling breakfast, you both settle on the couch, cuddled up together in your favorite little love blanket.Â
âIâm so happy youâve been eating better,â you murmur, tracing circles on his arm. âI need you, you know?â
As the baby kicks inside you, you place Joelâs hand on your belly, feeling the life youâve created together.
âI still canât believe weâre going to have a child,â he whispers, his voice filled with emotion.
You lean your head against his shoulder, overwhelmed with love for him. âI know, itâs pretty incredible. And hey, if you survive these pregnancy symptoms, I know youâll be the best dad.â
He chuckles softly, planting a kiss on the top of your head. âI sure hope so. But seriously, darlinâ, youâre incredible. I donât know how youâre handlinâ all of this with such grace.â
You give him a playful nudge. âWell, I have a great partner to help me through it. Even if he does complain about his swollen feet more than I do.â
Joel grins sheepishly, pulling you closer. âIâll try to tone it down a bit. For you.â
Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts & if you have any ideas for future fics. I love hearing from you!
keep you warm ⥠Joel masterlist ⥠AO3
#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x pregnant!reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller pregnancy#pregnancy#joel miller fluff#joel miller angst#pedro pascal characters#joel miller#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel miller fic#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfiction
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I'm not sure if requests are open or not but can I have more content on Twisted Wonderland x Obey Me. No preferences really, it can be anything like the demon boys reactions or even the reactions of our Twisted Wonderland acquaintances.
Maybe the reader could successfully summon one of the boys?
If requests are not open please ignore this.
Requests are always open, because I kinda pick and choose what I like to write and what I don't...so no worries! Thank you for submitting this request! I had a lot of people ask me to write another part about twst x obey me so...
click here for: Pt 1
Twisted wonderland X Obey me crossover where MC goes to twisted wonderland from obey me but has their full range of magical powers.
Only problem is, you finally figured out how to use it to summon the brothers, but now you had a whole other issue upon your hands.
TW: None
General warnings: Gender neutral reader, probably a lot of OOC moments, but I tried!
The day you managed to get in contact with Lucifer was well deserved. You had read and practiced all sorts of magic in your free time, Endless sleepless nights studying, and practicing. And it all has to do with...that mirror. You had managed to contact Micky through the mirror who lived in another world, so why not try contacting the brothers the same way? With a few sigils and a couple other magic tools given to you over time at NRC, you chanted your summoning ritual and the mirror glowed brightly. Next thing you knew, Lucifer was standing in the mirror in front of you.
"Lucif-"
"(Y/NNNNN)!!!" A bunch of voices cried out. Your magic worked a little...too well, because the next thing you knew you were being tackled by a hug. Err...many hugs. They had actually stepped out of the mirror, Asmodeus chocking you in a hug and twirling you around with tears streaming down his face.
"Asmo- Asmo stop! You guys can't-" you tried to warn them to go back through the mirror, however it was too late. The mirror returned to its normal state, and you now stood in your dorm room with 7 demons all in tow. Stuck there.
This can't possibly be good.
But luckily, with you somehow managing to break the laws of magic in Twisted Wonderland, all of the brothers were able to use their full range of magic. Including you.
Their reactions:
Lucifer
"Let me talk to the manager." After he finally sees that you are safe and sound feeling a wave of relief, he is immediately on the mission. He wants to speak to Crowley, which you tried to explain was...difficult. But this is Lucifer we are talking about, anything is possible with him around.
The moment he sees Crowley, he internally groans. The things you had said about him were indeed true, he was avoidant of your issues and was trying his best to downplay the problem at hand.
"How were they able to summon such magical beings...According to the dark mirror, (y/n) should be absolutely powerless, an average human with no merits." Crowley had said.
Lucifer was startled at this accusation, so what you had said about them not taking you seriously due to your lack of magical aptitude in this world...was correct as well. This made his blood boil, however he didn't feel the need to defend you. He knew you would have shown your worth regardless of this hiccup, he had full faith in your abilities in personality, despite what they believed to be "useless" or not.
Easily threatens Crowley. He demands you be given a proper living space with accommodations without treating you as some sort of slave to his issues, despite being under the impression that you had no way of using magic to assist you in your endeavors. You had dealt with him and his brothers enough, why must you be burdened with NRC students issues?
Crowley almost shit his pants bro. When lucifer went into his demon form, Crowley shrunk down in his shoes. The other teachers were the same honestly, they were also present during this meeting. They couldn't bring themselves to fight against the large wingged and horned man that emmited such power before them.
"You dare allow my little sheep to live with such horrible conditions and treated them with such avoidance... I suggest figure out a way to make up for what you have done. I also highly suggest you find a way for all of us to return, it is indeed your fault or whatever "magic mirror" that called upon (Y/N) that had made this mistake. I presume you will work with us to fix this issue?"
"Of course!" Crowley exasperated with a laugh of nervousness, "I promise! However, it is no small expense to-" No. Lucifer was not playing around. He was easily able to keep any big emotions in check, however when it comes to you...
"you WILL assist us. Or you can say goodbye to this school you call 'Night Raven College'- " A ball of light of immense magic began to swirl around his hand and his eyes glowed with deadly intent.
He left the building with a smile of success, leaving behind the teachers almost shitting themselves.
after settling business with Crowley, he ran to you. He had to make up for the lost time of course! You wouldn't be able to leave his grasp for a long while afterwards.
When you tried to ask what he spoke to Crowley about, he simply smiled and told you not to worry, he had it all handled. For now, he wanted to hold you in his arms, it's been a while since he had seen you after all, he needed to recharge.
Mammon
"Mannn, is there anything to do in this run down place?" He put up his feet on the table of the ramshackle dorm lounge, you were caught in his grasp. He had been holding onto you ever since he went through the mirror.
"Please don't cause me trouble here, too." You groaned, bags underneath your eyes, "This situation is bad as is, it's probably best you-"
There was a knock on the door. You sighed and got up, opening the door before revealing Azul. Your eyes widened, you totally forgot you offered to help at the Monstro lounge today!
"Hah? Who's this?" Mammon stood behind you looking down at Azul, who was equally as shocked to see him. But he quickly got over it, shaking his head before returning his gaze towards you.
"I believe we had a deal (y/n)..." Azul said with a glint in his glasses, "You had promised to help out today. Our prefect wouldn't flake out on their duties, would they?" Azul went to grab your hand to drag you out, however Mammon quickly grasped his wrists roughly with eyes slitted in annoyance.
"Who are ya and what do ya think you're doing putting your hands on what's mine?" He growled. You rolled your eyes and slapped your face. Here he goes. You can already tell where this is going.
"yours?" Azul shook his head in shock, "Huh? And you don't look like a student here," Azul pointed out, pulling his hand back from mammon, "Anyhow. Are you saying you will take the Prefects place instead? What would you have to offer me? Prefect is rather popular here despite their lack of magical abilities, and having them would really boost our sales for the week-"
"lack of magical abilities? what are ya on about? My (y/n) is super powerful!" Azul stared blankly before looking at you with doubt in his eyes. You turned your gaze away and sighed in defeat, you knew there was no way he would believe what Mammon had said.
"Well. Magic or no magic, I need somebody to take the job (y/n) had promised. I have a business to run, after all-"
"Oh so you're a business man, huh? Well look no further! I'm the Great Mammon, I have a lot of experience in these things. I'm a total cash grab, a model-"
Mammon went on about his accomplishments and proudly declared he was willing to make a deal with Azul, something you tried to talk him out of, but it was too late. He was already signing the scroll.
"Mammon!" You growled, "You are not listening to a single thing i'm- you know what, whatever. You do what you wanna do. Good luck."
Que Mammon being dragged off to do his manual labor...he will learn the hard way like he always does. Oh well. Leave it to Mammon to run off as soon as he arrived to try and make a deal with the worst person possible!
Leviathan
Hugging you so tightly. He missed you so much! But boredom soon took over. He had no idea what to do, you have no video games, not even a T.V In the lounge! How could you have possibly lived this way?!
"Here, I can call up Idia. He's probably the best person who-"
"You found a gaming replacement?!" Levi whined, "I thought you were my player two! But now you're staying up all night playing games and watching anime with someone else..."
You lightly punched the top of his head. "I didn't, you idiot!" You laughed, "We play games, sure, but you'll always be my player 1. I just don't want you to get bored while you're here."
You called Idia and he was so so so so so reluctant to do it. But it's you, of course. How could he say no? Ortho also did some convincing, saying it's good to find another recluse like Idia. But the trade off was you had to be there too.
Dude. They played games for HOURS in the Ignyhide dorm lounge, and you probably forgot something pretty important...
Idia was a gamer unmatched. Not even Levi could beat him at a lot of these pvp games, and began to become unnerved.
"Bro lol you're such a noob, hey (y/n) I thought you said this guy was good at games, why'd you send this guy? He's practically a normie-"
No way he just said that. THAT was Levis breaking point.
He summoned Lotan
He flooded the entire lounge
You had forced him to submit, and Idia was just staring....wide eyed...what the hell just happened...?
"You can use magic this entire time?!" Idia called out in shock after witnessing you submitting Lotan and Leviathan to your call. Levi did make note of this, however was far too upset and preoccupied by cleaning up his mess before he could mention anything about it.
He was banned very quickly, but now thanks to the giant sea monster, he really piqued the Leech twins curiosity (who happened to be in the mirror chamber at the time, when Lotan escaped Ignyhide and also flooded the chamber of mirrors.) Jade asked Levi to study Lotan and Floyd started admiring Levis Demon form. He's never seen such a cool tail from any creature before!
Levi was on house arrest. You wouldn't permit him to leave ramshackle, but he surprisingly made good and quick friends with the brothers. They were all quickly learning how to sew little outfits, which jade really enjoyed. Floyd was occupied by asking Levi all sorts of questions about Lotan and begging to touch Levis tail, before falling asleep out of boredom on the couch.
They managed to stay entertained with each others company somehow, but it worked out.
Satan
You knew he would be best occupied in the Library, where there was an entire pile of books he had never seen before. He was in heaven. How you managed to get him into the building without him being an authorized student? Crowley gave them temporary access, thanks to Lucifers (threats) negotiations.
He began going through each shelf and picking a bunch of books that looked interesting. He was mainly interested in the magic of this world
He emptied an entire book shelf and huddled into a corner surrounded by a mess of books.
Riddle came in to witness this, and was NOT happy.
"What do you think you are doing?" He confronted Satan. Satan glanced up and was at first upset he was interrupted, however seeing riddle...
"Cat..." Satans mouth dropped open
"Cat? excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" Riddle folded his arms, "No matter. You are supposed to check out these books before utilizing them, and you do not look like a student here. As house warden of Heartslabyul I demand you put these back, or it's off with your head!"
Satan TRIED to explain to him in a civilized way that he was a special guest of the prefect and was given access to as many books as he desired, but Riddle did not believe him. and demanded some form of proof. Satan did not take well to this.
"I'm not going to take demands from a small cat such as yourself. I suggest you find someone else to bother," Satan returned to his book now ignoring Riddle.
"W-wha...EXCUSE ME?!" Riddle yelled, his face turned a bright red and pulled out his wand, "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Next thing Satan knew he had a heart shaped lock around his neck.
He REALLYYY did not like that. The green aura that surrounded him startled Riddle as Satan stood up towering over him, demon form and all.
"I swear I-" He bared his teeth and raised his hand, before someone yelling "SATAN, SIT!" Caused him to gasp in shock and fall to the ground with a heavy 'thud', something that surprised Riddle.
You ran over and sighed shaking your head. You apologized to Riddle and explained the situation, to which Riddle took off the collar he had given Satan.
"Don't worry, Riddle. I will make sure I check out every one of these books and return them accordingly, I will take them to ramshackle for now as to not cause another...scene and disturb the other students."
Riddle was mildly satisfied with this answer and allowed you to do so, not without mumbling about being called a small cat...but no matter.
"how were you able to do that, Prefect? You made him submit," Riddle pointed out, "Without any magical power," He began to say. Satan quickly interrupted with a tilt of his head and a "Huhh??"
"(y/n) Is one of the most powerful human sorcerers," He pointed out, "Solomon is teaching them himself. They have plenty of magical aptitude," He told Riddle, much to his dismay.
You sighed and ignored the topic and Riddles confusion, dragging the pile of books to check out and leaving the library as fast as possible.
Satan spent the rest of the time in ramshackle sitting in a dorm room he found himself, and read to his hearts content. Not without asking you many questions about this world and the contents of some of these books
Asmodeus
The first one to hug you and twirl you around, and had a very hard time letting go.
When he finally did let go, he was nitpicking about everything.
"Oh my dear just look at those bags underneath your eyes! And that uniform...you just look horrible,"
"Yeah. not the first I've heard that," You sighed. When Asmodeus asked you to elaborate, you explained to him about Vil, the super star of NRC, and the person who liked to remind you how to care for your appearance.
Asmo was upset at first, until he met Vil. Annnddd fell in love. Until Vil pointed out Asmos "strange" choice of outfit, being his school uniform from devildom.
Asmo scowled at this and gave Vil a run down of every flaw Vil had, in the end, Vil actually began to see he was similar to Rook in a way, very observant in a persons design and look. Although Asmo did not have much tact about it.
"(y/n), how did you manage to become friends with such a magical person? He's practically oozing with magical charm," Vil pointed out. Not without Asmos confusion.
"What do you mean?" Asmo asked, "We have a pact! They are rather powerful, one of the many things I absolute love about our (y/n)~" Before you could explain further to Vil what Asmo meant, Rook had walked into the room.
ROOK. FELL. IN. LOVE. WITH. ASMO. Bro was enamored, he was shocked, jaw dropping, and eyes widening. He made it almost his life's mission to discover EVERYTHING about Asmodeus.
"Monsieur! I beg of you, let me study you!" he cried out, "I've never seen someone as mangnifique as you!"
Bruh. Right in front of Vil? Vil was kind of offended to be honest, but Asmo... he was loving this. Finally, somebody here that could appreciate true beauty!
Rook started listing everything he loved about Asmo, and when he asked Asmo where he was from and Asmo mentioned he was a demon, Rook lost. His. Mind.
Asmo went into his demon form, ironically this is when Epel walked in.
"What in tarnation is THAT?!" He cried out in his thick southern accent. Asmo did not like that.
"What do you mean THAT?" He scoffed, going up to Epel.
"Who's this sparkly lookin' guy with the horns? ya don't look like a fae to me..." vil scolded him for using such words, but Epel couldn't help it! He was beyond surprised at this being standing before him in his dorms lounge!
Asmodeus was pretty close to using his charm upon Epel, probably to convince Epel that he was as amazing as Rook pointed him out to be, but you quickly got involved and forced Asmo to stop.
"It's not that big of a deal," You sighed, "We all know how amazing our Asmo is..."
Anyway a little bit of back and forth, and all of the sudden Vil Rook and Asmo were all sitting in a circle like a bunch of little girls at a sleepover talking about Musical theatre, Beauty, and everything else that involved Asmo talking about himself. you and Epel were quickly used as their own little dress up dolls, they managed to find a way to occupy the time by having competitions on which party could make you and Epel look the best with what techniques.
Beelzebub
Coming through that Mirror on an empty stomach was such a bad idea. But not to fear! You knew the perfect person to help!
Trey. you had to beg Trey to make as many desserts as he could and that Beel would be probably the best person to taste test all sorts of things he baked. Trey honestly took you up on this, and whipped up a bunch of things he had been itching to try.
"They are really good, but Lukes treats are the best," Beel said with his mouth full of tart. He began to pick apart what was good and what was bad about every dessert he tried, however that did not satiate his hunger. He was so excited to try every single new thing that this world had to offer.
You guys ended up going to Scarabia, where Kalim was more than happy to share his culture and their food. Jamil ended up cooking a meal fit for a king as asked by Kalim. Kalim and Beel got along so well it was kind of sweet to watch....but eventually the food was all out in a matter of minutes, and Jamil had to talk some sense into Kalim.
"He has a healthy appetite! It's amazing, isn't it Jamil? Haha!"
Jamil was not very amused. It was obvious he was exhausted, so you all parted and said your goodbyes.
Ace Deuce Grim and you ended up going into town and stopping at the most popular restaurants.
"this guy is real beefed up, how did you manage to get so much muscle with an appetite like that?" Ace pointed out. Deuce agreed enthusiastically.
They spent probably two hours asking about all sorts of sports in Devildom and exercises, until Jack walked in and walked over.
"Jack!" You smiled. He walked over and greeted everyone with a gentle "hello," Before introducing him to Beel.
"I wonder who would win in an athletic battle between you guys," Grim pointed out. Their bets were on Jack, but of course you knew better than that. You knew Beel would win by a landslide.
they headed to Savanawclaw, and even Leona ended up getting involved after seeing Beel standing next to you.
"Whos this guy?" He pointed at Beel. You guys introduced each other, and Jack explained that they were about to have an athletic competition. They were going to do runs, hurdles, push ups, pull ups...honestly everything.
"What about a Spell drive competition?" Jack suggested. Leona pointed out that it would not be evenly matched, as you were magicless and Beel wasn't even from here.
"Huh? (Y/N) isn't magicless," Beel defended you, "They are actually really powerful. I mean, enough to have pacts with all of my brothers, even Lucifer" He smiled at you and patted your head. Leona began to laugh at you two, not truly understanding what Beel meant by that. Beels friendly demeanor faltered and he frowned.
He was confident in your abilities, so Leona finally agreed to a spell drive contest. They explained the rules, and began. Leona started out so confident, but was quickly humbled the second Beel turned into his demon form and went all out.
You two walked out victorious, leaving an absolutely shell shocked Leona and Jack behind. You and Beel had perfect teamwork, and won by a landslide. You were even able to showcase some of your magical abilities, something else that was unprecedented by the two NRC students.
"Thank you for sticking up for me," You smiled at Beel, "It's been a while since somebody did that to me.. Even though I had to make you sit because you were using too much of your power. You were gonna destroy the disk!." Beel gave you a warm wide smile before picking you up and holding you into a up into a tight hug.
"I missed you, (y/n). And Nobody should talk bad about you like that!
Belphie
Joined you, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Beel on your outing to eat. Although when you guys ended up splitting ways at the point when you guys left with Jack. Belphie quickly departed to find a good place to sleep at ramshackle. He found a perfect tree for this!
He ran into Malleus. Tall guy, big horns...
'Who're you?" Belphie asked, looking down at the tall Fae from the tree he found to sleep in. Malleus looked up in shock, his green eyes staring at Belphie.
"Are you a new student here?" Malleus inquired, "I wasn't aware that child of man was taking in new students at Ramshackle," He pointed out, folding his arms. Belphie had an unnerved feeling about this guy.
"What do you mean 'child of man'?" Belphie yawned, "Are you talking about (y/n)?"
"Yes, I am," Malleus said, "And you might be?"
"Belphegor, Avatar of Sloth. Why'd you call (y/n) that?" he frowned.
"Well (y/n) is a human," Malleus pointed out, "I suppose I grew up in a more traditional Fae household, so many of the humans we tend to call "child of man"..." Belphie had no clue what this guy was going on about, but decided it wasn't worth his time. He started to doze off again until Malleus pestered him with another question.
"I came here looking for (y/n), He called up to Belphie, "Might you know where they are?" Belphie began to become slightly irritated at this point. He jumped down from the tree and looked at Malleus in annoyance.
"Why do you wanna know where they are? they'll be back soon," he pointed out.
A little bit of back and forth and passive aggressiveness not gonna lie...it escalated to the point where Belphie became so agitated at this guy and his "fancy" way of talking and the fact malleus kept calling you "child of man" or whatever, he turned into his demon form.
"Oh? A duel?" Malleus chuckled, levitating slightly with his arm lifting up and magic swirling around his hand, "Shall I take it you-"
"Belphie, sit!" Belphie gasped and was suddenly dropped down to the ground, you and Beel walking up to them.
"Oh, hey Malleus. I'm sorry if he was bothering you...what was-"
"ugh. This is so annoying," Belphie growled, "this guy here was calling you weird nicknames, and said you were a magicless human," He pointed out. Malleus looked at you with slight surprise at witnessing you drop Belphie to his knees.
"you...can use magic?" He asked, "How come I was not aware of this?"
"Of course they can use magic, idiot!" Belphie hissed, standing back up and protectively moving to hug you from behind. His head lay upon the crook of your neck, glancing up at Malleus with a light smirk upon his features. He was trying to test him.
With his lips forming into a thin line of frustration, Malleus took a step forward, not without Belphie using his tail protectively in front of you as if warning him to stay back.
"I don't like this guy," He pouted to you. Your tired eyes rolled to the back of your head, giving another apology to Malleus.
~
The commotion soon got the attention of the other demons, who then gathered in the courtyard and demanding to know why everyone around them was trying to say you were magicless. After a little explaining, each of the brothers were less than forgiving. This entire time you were powerless, and the students had treated you differently for it? Malleus was kind enough to recount a lot of the things the headmaster had put on your shoulders, while you were trying your best to downplay it. A bunch of the other students had ended up gathering around ramshackle as well, witnessing Each and every one of the brothers now in their demon forms, the immense amount of magic traces had caused quite a stir among the students. Even the housewardens had shown up, hearing down the grapevine of the events that were unfolding. If you hadn't done something and done something fast, things could easily go south. So, you did what you thought was all you could do.
"SIT!" You yelled as loud as possible, each of the brothers dropping to the ground with a yelp. The magic power that was gathering around was now coming from...you. Murmurs were heard between the students, eyes of shock filling their eyes and unbelievable amount of students actually had pulled out their wands, obviously feeling threatened by your sudden showcase of strange magic they had never seen before.
"I'm afraid, my dear students, this has gone too far!" A voice cried out in the middle of the chaos. Crowley had walked between his students until he made it to you, staring down upon your figure with a look of annoyance and sigh.
Crowley declared there was a way for you to return home, and summoned the mirror in which you used to get them back in the first place. Lucifer couldn't help but scoff and sneer at the headmaster.
"Now, please explain, why have you suddenly found a way for us to return when you haven't been able to sort a way out in the year our (y/n) has been in this dreadful place?" He roared in anger. Crowley shrunk down and tried to laugh it off, playing it to be nothing short of a coincidence.
"Enough..." you sighed, annoyed, "Let's just get this over with and go back home."
"Indeed! what our prefect said! Although, you will be strongly missed, (y/n). You were incredibly helpful in dealing with- I mean- supporting our students! With you gone, I'm not sure what we will do! Oh Woe is me!"
Ignoring his obvious attempts to keep you there to handle his students, you said your final goodbyes to everyone you had made friendships with. However attached you may have gotten with these students, it was inevitable that you had to return to the Devildom, where you truly belong.
Thus ends your journey with Twisted Wonderland!
----
I'm sorry that ending was a little bit rushed, I was having a hard time figuring out how exactly to go about it! But, despite this, I hope you all enjoyed this despite it's length. If you have any more suggestions or ideas for a crossover, please let me know! I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions.
i'm also so bad at writing belphie lol he's my least favorite brother ngl so i'm not that good at embodying his personality. L.
Check out my masterlist for more of my works!
#Obey me#Obey me shall we date#Obey me MC#twisted wonderland mc#twisted wonderland#obey me fanfic#Obey me X Twisted wonderland#obey me x twst#Obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#azul ashengrotto#crowley twisted wonderland#vil shoenheit#ace twisted wonderland#solomon obey me#twisted wonderland x reader#obey me x reader#Obey me fanfiction#Twisted wonderland fanfiction#twst#twst fanfic#twst x reader#twst yuu#yuu#obey me mc#lucifer obey me#obey me brothers#Malleus draconia
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JAMES POTTER | HOW TO DRESS (SHORT VER.)
LENGTH : 5.6k
SUM. : when you pull away from James, he does his best to convince you to stay ; smut version only
CONTENT WARNING : dubcon/cnc ; resisting ; dirty talk ; creampies ; overstimulation ; oral/cunniglingus (female receiving) ; body worship ; praise kink ; multiple orgasms ; mirror sex ; soft james turned dark james ; pregnation/breeding kink ; dom!james ; sub!reader ; unprotected sex ; slight cockwarming
FULL VER.
You wake up with a start to see the room drenched in a warm glow, the sight immediately making you stand from the sofa you had fallen asleep on. You didnât light the fireplace last night⌠you were too exhausted to. It was thanks to the heat of the fire that you no longer needed to be bundled up in the blanket despite only wearing a white button-up and your panties. At the very least, your arms were free to move about without restrictions if you needed to fight back an intruder.Â
âLove,â a familiar, warm voice calls in a whisper beside you.Â
âJames!â you gasp in shock when you see him standing before you, coming out of the bedroom shirtless with one of the spare shirts from the wardrobe in his hand and wet hair. Did he try finding you in the storm? The thought warmed your heart but your firm decision to leave him frosted over all warmth, leaving your chest hollow. Just as quickly as James saw your beautiful smile pull at your lips, your expression was disciplined into something cold and neutral.Â
âIâm so glad youâre safeââ he tries to approach you with open arms and a relieved smile but you back away quickly, your hands pushed out as if to push him away.Â
âNo!â
â...No?â
âYou shouldnât be here, James. You shouldnât have come looking for me!â
âAnd why not?â a familiar feeling comes creeping into Jamesâ anxiously beating heart. He knows this suffocating atmosphere, he knows it too well. But that was only around Lily⌠never you. He loves you to the ends of the earth and he knows you love him just as much in return. Is that why the realisation hurts him more than it has ever hurt him with Lily?Â
âItâs not safe out in the stormââ
âI had to look for you! I was so scared that you were in some kind of danger and needed help!âÂ
âWeShouldnâtBeTogetherAnymore!â you donât meet his eyes despite shouting with such conviction. You donât think you could have said it any other way. Blurting out the words frantically was easier than saying every syllable clearly.Â
James doesnât know what to say. At that moment, it hurt too much to look at him so you donât see the way his face grew cold and his eyes became consumed by a darkness that wasnât characteristic of him, âYour motherâs right⌠we donât belong together.âÂ
The world spirals around James. This canât be happening. You werenât Lily. You canât break his heart like this â you arenât the type. You promised to be his forever and he promised to forever be with youâ was there someone else? This canât just be because of his mother! Youâre his perfect match, thereâs no way you would deny that, you always said you love him back. This is all a lie. James isnât going to accept this!
âYou donât mean that, love,â James coos gently, not wanting to believe your words himself and approaches steadily like a crawling predator waiting to strike.Â
âY-yes I do!â You see his slow approach and try to maintain the distance between you but you can only move back so far before youâre pressed up against the wall. Seeing the opportunity, James raises arms and presses his palms on the wall beside your head, trapping you in place. Despite the proximity, you donât meet his eyes.
âWe donât belong togetherâŚyou deserve someone better. I canât be with you anymore, weâre not a good match,â you sniffle and James resists the urge to kiss your tears away. Beside your head, his hands clench into fists against the wooden walls.
âSay it to my face then, look into my eyes and tell me you donât love me anymore â that you donât want me anymore,â
âJamesâŚâ You muster up the courage but your voice still comes out, somewhat, shaky, âI-I donât want to be with you anymore,â his expression remains steely and cold, the fierce glint of resolve in his eyes, unrelenting, âI donât love you anymoreâŚâÂ
âI donât, at least, make you feel good?â
âNo.â
He doesnât respond, instead, he keeps you pressed against the wall and manoeuvres his face to rest beside your ear, his husky voice weakening your knees âAre you sure about that?â he snakes his hands around your waist to press his fingers into your lower back. Under his touch, you suppress a whimper of relief as his massaging motions ease some strain in your back.Â
âJames, stop it,â you huff, trying to push him away but you barely find the strength in yourself to shove him off with force. The love you have for him still lingers inside you, burrowed deep in your heart with no intent of leaving despite your earlier resolution.Â
âNo,â his fingers continue to massage your lower back as his lips begin to press a trail of kisses down your neck, âI donât believe you,â he insists, âI can see it in your eyes,â he bares his teeth against the junction of your neck and shoulder, and draws a squeal from your parted lips, âYou love me! You never stopped! And Iâm the only one who can make you feel good!â
âNo!â
ââNoâ, you never stopped? âNoâ no one makes you feel as good as me?â you can feel his naked chest pressing down against yours through the thin button-up, vibrating as he chuckles darkly. His hands start roaming your body, teasingly brushing against the sides of your breasts and tracing the curves of your silhouette. He loves your body. Youâre the most beautiful woman he has ever had the honour of touching and kissing â his treasure.Â
âNooo!â you whine once more, not giving him a straight answer and succumbing to his familiar, fondling hands. He loves that youâre wearing his old shirt; not only do you look delectable in it but a surge of possessiveness washes over him at how small you appear. And the fact that you were allowing him to fondle you with your soft skin, pouty lips and pretty, tearful eyes, turns him on so much.Â
Everything about you was a turn-on for him. James doesnât think heâs ever been this hard before, it was almost painful still being in the confines of his trousers. But he wouldnât dare waste time on frivolous things like that, hearing your soft, gasps and delicate moans spur him on to continue pulling moan after moan from your sweet lips. Lips that he had been neglecting to kiss and immediately moved up to capture in a heated tango. Â
Time blurs along with the scene around you, all your mind can seem to comprehend is Jamesâ weight pressing your back against the wall as his caressing hands map a dangerous path along your skin, getting closer and closer to your intimate areas â your nipples were already hard as rocks, attempting to poke through his thin button up as your panties were practically soaked through by your arousal.Â
Your resolve to keep your distance and do what was best for him was close to gone, wiped from all areas of your mind so that the only thing left was a growing want for pleasure. A pleasure that only James could give. Mind numb, you had no strength to do anything except whimper and moan against his broad shoulder until he suddenly cups your right breast and uses his pointer finger to play with your hardened nipple through the fabric.Â
âJ-James!â you gasp, pulling away from his lips and ignoring the string of saliva connecting your lips to press against his shoulder with your shaking palms. Your resolve returns and the tug of war between your desires and reluctant refusal of his touch continues, âAhhhh~ stop it~â he doesnât stop, he couldnât, he wouldnât, âpleaseâŚâ you beg pathetically, the tone of your voice unclear. His hands, his lips and his touch were making you feel hot, and the beginning of a tight knot was forming in the depths of your lower abdomen â it was becoming harder and harder to resist him. Â
While youâre distracted by the hand he has fondling your breast, James creeps his other hand up your inner thigh and edges your panties aside with a finger. He can see the realisation in your eyes when his finger brushes shyly against your clit. But he gives you no time to react and plunges his two fingers into your heat without warning. It was an easy entrance because you were so wet and hot and eager. And as James groans at the thought of his cock replacing his fingers inside you, his feverish probing against your inner walls shatters the last remaining strength in your knees.Â
Your upper teeth bite down on your bottom lip, trapping the moans in your throat and keeping them from spilling. However, just as James pushes his fingers inside you, heâs pulling them out again. Soaked all the way down to his knuckles. He raises his two fingers to his lips and sucks them clean of your juices with a resounding groan as if heâs sampled the most flavourful dish heâs ever had.Â
âYour mouth likes to lie, itâs great at lying apparently,â he snarls, the accusation and harsh tone making you whimper and your heart sinks from guilt. As always, he can see right through you. You donât really want to leave James, heâs been the perfect boyfriend and you want to be with him forever⌠âso Iâll only trust what your pretty pussy lips have to say insteadâŚâ he licks his lips and stares into your eyes darkly, but rather than feel fear at his unusually impious stare, an arousing thrill flourishes in your stomach and raises the goosebumps on your upper arms, âit doesnât taste like you donât love me anymore,â a devilish grin stretches across his lips, his eyes never leaving yours, âyou taste like you finally want me to love you all the way,âÂ
âNo, I donât,â your retaliating statement comes too firmly and too quickly for James to not heat up in anger. Where had your previous meekness and slow build-up to acceptance gone? It canât just vanish; itâs still thereâŚsomewhere, he just needs to coax it out of you again!
With a rumbling growl from the back of his throat, he lifts you to hang off his shoulder without any care and takes a handful of long strides to his designated bedroom at the small cabin. He kneels down before throwing you onto the bed so that you fall back with just enough force and care to know that, despite his anger, he still loves you deeply.Â
The strength behind his action leaves you shocked and vulnerable for a few moments but thatâs all James needs. Gripping your thighs, he hoists your lower half up and rests the back of your upper thighs on his shoulders so he could devour your pussy shamelessly.Â
Crying aloud, you arch your back and thrash against him. Your hands grip his soft, untamed curls and delude yourself into believing that you are actively resisting him, trying to push away his head from in between your thighs. However, in the position James hasâlifted high with your abdomen pressed down by a hand and securing your lower back against his chestâitâs too difficult for you to push him away. Youâre at his complete mercy. He kneels on the bed with his chin tucked into his collar, plunging his tongue in and out of your pussy, his nose stimulating your clit as he laps up as much of your juices as he possibly could. Beneath him, youâre floundering, half lifted into the air with only your shoulders, head and neck still on the bed.Â
âJames! Ahhhh!â You squeal in pleasure when he raises a hand to finger at your clit as his chin tilts up and his tongue curls deliciously inside you. Heâs driving you closer and closer to the edge!Â
Your once sweet James was gone. His loving and goofy self was lost to the lust-hungry man with his head buried between your thighs. Heâs determined to unravel you at the seams with only the methodical writhing of his tongue and the stimulation of your sensitive clit.Â
And, unravel, you did.
It was a searing white, hot and euphoric, sensation. Your erotic scream upon release was never registered by your ears as you were too consumed by rolling waves of ecstasy. The storm outside no longer existed. The rest of the world had disappeared too. It was only you and James and the bed.Â
You donât know how long it took you to finally catch your breath and focus your vision but when you did, James had pulled off your panties completely and was leaning over you, trying to hurriedly unbutton yourâ his shirt, desperate to see more of your skin. Without your panties, youâre naked underneath it and he needed to see you with nothing on.Â
Quickly becoming impatient, James grips at the two halves of his button-up and savagely rips them apart as you gasp at the brute force heâs capable of exerting. But the instant his eyes fall upon your naked skin, his brutishness disappears entirely. His hazel eyes visibly soften and his fingers shyly drift over the skin of your stomach, delicate and caring, as if you were made of glass and he was afraid of breaking you. The loving, sweet James you knew was back. Though you were also getting quickly accustomed to his more savage side.Â
âYouâre so beautifulâŚâ he whispers in awe and a surge of love tumbles over you, spurred by the admiration and worship in his pretty hazel eyes. The man before you was still your sweet and loving James, charming, kind and oh so loveable. It made tears fill your eyes. How did the two of you end up like this? With you refusing his love when you know that, deep down, that was all you ever wanted⌠forget your entrepreneurial dreams, James was it for you as much as you know youâre it for him.Â
James didnât allow you to contemplate your situation for very long as he was swiftly trailing delicate kisses up your torso and to your breasts. He eagerly sucks on your nipple, his hands placing themselves on your hips, pressing down â an anchor â and caressing your soft skin with his thumb. His tongue and teeth on your nipple pull endless streams of delicate whimpers and airy sighs from your lips, and he relishes every single one.Â
You can see it in his hazel eyes, how much he adores it when your whimpers tremble and when your sighs raise a little higher in pitch. It compels you to keep vocalising your pleasure despite your mind arguing against you. You need to be stronger than this, you needed to resist himâŚhe deserved better than you, he deserves greater happiness and he couldnât have that if you were the one selfishly standing by his side, thereâs a better match for him out thereâ but ohh~ he makes you feel sooo gooodâŚÂ
Finally, he pulls away. You watch a strand of saliva connecting your nipple to his tongue slowly stretch and break off when he towers over your frame. His knees lock you in where he straddles your plush thighs and his back elongates to stretch his domineering figure taller, accentuating the ridges and lines of his toned abdomen.Â
âYou love me,â his voice is firm, trying to sway your decision and reel you back to him.Â
âN-noâŚâ You shake your head and your voice trembles with the lie. Your attempt to continue denying the obvious was pitiful and disappointing to the man before you. He clicks his tongue at your stubborn resistance but his gaze immediately softens at the sight of tears collecting at your waterline. With eyes like glass, the windows to your soul, James is reminded of why you were being so stubborn in the first place.Â
Itâs because heâs right. You do love himâŚand itâs because you love him that you will continue to resist. But itâs because you love him that he will continue to resist also.Â
âI love youâŚâ His soft gaze and loving words strip away all your defences. Your forged hatred and rejection disappear into nothing.
You donât say anything. You canât because how could you? After everything. After all your stupid decisions and flagrant exploitation of his trust, how could you ever return those same beautiful and affectionate words? Even if you mean every single one? Youâre the selfish one here! His mother is right about him deserving better! Why canât he see that?!Â
To avoid his stare, you turn your face away and cover your eyes with your arm. Silence fills the room, and thereâs a pause in all activity. All you want to do is escape the situation, denying ever being in such circumstances by rendering yourself incapable of seeing anything but darkness â the shadow of your arm, your only shield against Jamesâs persistent call for you to return to him, to admit loving him back.
The silence lingers and is eventually broken by the sound of a belt being unbuckled followed by the shifting of fabric and a heart-thundering zzzzzzzzipâŚ.
Unveiling your eyes, youâre left speechless and blinking in shock at the sight of James taking off his pants and briefs. Unaffected by your frantic scramble, he stares down at you wordlessly.Â
âJames!âŚâ he doesnât answer your call.
You gasp, beginning to crawl backwards when he leans over you with his hard and angry erection in full view. In your peripheral, his length twitches and when you bend your knee to plant your feet on the bed and propel yourself backwards, your thigh comes so close to his hardness that you can feel the burning heat radiating from its stiff length.
âIâm going to show you how much I love you,â he finally says, âIâm going to fill you up over and over again, and Iâm not going to stop until I know that you finally understand how much you mean to me,â he grabs your ankle and yanks you back down to him, your ass almost slipping off the edge of the bed, âunderstand how much I love you,â he trails a feathery touch up your thigh as he pushes them apart, âunderstand how I canât live without you anymore and how desperately I want a future with youâŚâÂ
He raises your right leg and rests your heel against his shoulder, turning his face to kiss your ankle sweetly. His other hand grips your other thigh and anchors it to his waist, prompting your leg to wrap around him. âYouâll let me do it, wonât you?â He meets your eyes, âI know you love me, after all⌠isnât that right?â
â...noâŚ.â You protest one last time but itâs so quiet, so demure and so lacking in strength that James searches your eyes for the real answer. As much as you know you have to resist him and deny his advances for his own betterment, you silently plead for his love. Your tearful eyes beg him to do whatever he wants and to give you his everything. You want him to love you all the way, like he always said he would despite his reluctance to love wholly once more after Lily Evans. What rotten timing. The time heâs finally willing to become yours and vice versa officially, his overprotective mother scares you away.Â
âSpeak up, love,â he urges despite knowing everything he needs to know only through the look in your eyes. You feel him lube up the head of his cock with your juices, letting out a shaky breath as he does so before finally lining himself up with your entrance.Â
âNo,â You voice a little louder.Â
âNo?â He bucks against your entrance with a hiss and you bite back a moan.Â
âN-noâŚâ he laughs at your pathetic whimper, the sound of which makes your lower belly clench around nothing. It was so sadistic and demeaning âyou didnât know that he could ever be like this, let alone make you feel this way.Â
âThenâ!â You both gasp when the swollen head of his cock breaks through your tight entrance, âthen Iâll justââ he continues to push forward, enjoying the view of your trembling form under him. He almost coos at how your small hands shakily grip the sheets, ââtake you,â he exhales slowly after successfully burying himself inside you, he leans down to whisper inches away from your face, âIâll just take you as I please,â
The brutal pace he sets from the start unhinges your jaw to let out a silent scream of pleasure. He had eaten you out so well that there was no pain, just a lingering ache after every punishing thrust, which only added to the pleasure. His rhythm steals your breath but doesnât stop you from moaning erotically with your head thrown back in pleasure.Â
âOh, James! Ahhh!â You sob and stare up at him pleadingly, not knowing exactly what you were begging for anymore, âJ-Jamie~âŚ!â Above you, James groans at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue â only you could make his name sound oh so sweet~
âThatâs it, love,â he smiles down wickedly, âthatâs a good girl~â your back arches at his praise, which pushes your hips against him and catches the head of his cock against your walls at a different angle, pulling a squeal from your bitten lips. Â
âOh~â he coos, leaning forward to grip your hips as he lets go of your legs, âyou like that spot, do you?â He holds your hips in place, marking the angle that gave you the most pleasure and proceeds to abuse your weakness viciously, his punishing thrusts unrelenting.
âO-ohh God! Ahhh!âÂ
âYou donât love me?â He challenges in between pants, groaning as your velvet walls throb and flutter around his stiff length, âLIES!â He snaps, suddenly pulling out of you so he could flip you over and take you from behind, âYouâre a fucking liar!âÂ
Your front half collapses from the pleasure and James is left to hold your hips up himself, âI-Iâm not,â you sob into the sheets, the tears in your eyes spilling past your waterline and getting soaked up by the soft linen.
âThen WHY are you so WET, love?â He growls into your hair, having leant over to press his torso against your arched back and bury his face into the back of your head, his mouth angled to your ear so that his breath tickles your skin at every word. Both of you groan in unison as the position makes him reach impossibly deep inside you, âWHY do you keep clenching around me like â oh fuckâ like you want to drain my balls dry?â
âAhhh! James!â he speeds up suddenly and you can barely keep up with your breathing.Â
âAnd WHY are you pushing your hips back for me? Hm? You want me in deep, do you?â your gasp of realisation is disguised by your surprised squeal when his large hand comes down harshly to hit your ass.Â
âTh-thatâs notââDespite your verbal protest, you donât stop moving your hips in tandem with his own. You canât help it. He feels too good! So big and thick and heâs hitting all the right placesâŚ!
âIâll give you what you want,â he picks up the pace and bites your shoulder, quickly kissing and licking the stinging mark he leaves behind, âIâll fill you up, love,â you donât protest, instead, you moan louder and encourage him to push you closer and closer to the edge, âIâll fill up your fertile, greedy little belly goodâ Aah! Okay?âÂ
You donât answer him as pleasure takes over your mind and all you can do is moan. James also succumbs to the pleasure, sweat on his furrowed brow and tension building in his muscles as he quickly approaches his euphoric end.Â
But no â he wonât allow himself that until you are fully satisfied. Heâll bring you to your release over and over again before he even thinks about stopping.Â
With a scream, your vision turns white and your body stiffens up. James cries with pleasure, almost sobbing at the heavenly convulsions of your tight walls around him. As you slowly go limp beneath him, he finally succumbs to his own pleasure, satisfied that had reached your peak already. With a loud, shuddering moan, James pumps you full of his pent-up cum but he doesnât stop thrusting. His movements are significantly more sluggish but heâs determined to push his white, thick release as deep as it can go.  Â
âYouâre so beautifulâŚâ he doesnât pull out, âmy beautiful girl, all mine,â you feel his large hand gently press against the soft skin of your belly and you hear the smile in his voice when he realisesâ âyouâre full of me now. You took me so well, baby,â he coos beside your ear, his hot breath sending a shudder down your spine.Â
Tilting you both over to lay on your side, he presses into you from behind and cuddles you close. The two of you lay there catching your breaths with James still buried inside you, determined not to pull out and spill all signs of your union. Â
â...James?â you ask quietly after finally managing to catch your breath.Â
âYes, love?â he purrs lowly, kissing behind your ear as he pulls you impossibly close. The affection makes your heart flutter lightly. Itâs impossible to deny him like this. Why did he have to make you feel so good? Why did he have to make you feel so loved?
âPlease just⌠think about it?â He tenses up and you hold your breath in preparation for what may come.
âThink about what?...â his hands begin to wander at your front, his delicate touch tracing an unbroken path over your soft skin, âAbout how much I love you? How much I dream of our future together?â
His words make you tear up, âNo, not thatââ
âThen, about how beautiful you are? Because youâre very beautiful, my love,â still inside you, Jamesâ fat cock begins to rise again, erect and throbbing for friction, lots of friction.Â
âJ-Jamesâ! Ahh! Wait!â
âAnd I donât think you realise how beautiful you are, pet~â he coos almost demeaningly, ignoring your squirming, âitâs about time I show you just how beautiful you really are, and how beautifully you take my cock.â your breath stills at the implication, making James smirk into your hair, âReady for round two?â
Yelping pathetically, James lifts you like a ragdoll and shuffles you both into the bathroom. He had to pull out for the manoeuvre and thick globes of his release poke at the ring of muscle at your entrance. The sensation makes you whimper and clench around nothing, making his hot cum slip out and begin crawling down your inner thigh. Inside the bathroom, James leans you over the sink and carefully parts your hair to kiss the slope of your shoulder before his large hands grab the globes of your ass to pry them apart delicately.Â
The sight of his thick cum oozing out of your pussy and leaking down your inner thigh pulls a guttural groan from the depths of Jamesâ chest. âYouâre so fucking sexy baby,â he praises and smirks at the whimper his comment pulls from your pretty lips, âbut what a waste of my cum.â He positions himself behind you, feet shoulder-width apart, and presses his mushroom tip against your wet opening. Youâve become so sensitive that the simple touch makes you squirm but his strong hold on your hips keeps you still. Without warning, he pushes inside so violently, you cry out and fall forward. You would have hit your head if your hands hadnât come up to brace you against the large wall mirror above the sink.Â
âLetting my cum drip out of you like that means I need to fill you up again, lovie,â he coos sweetly as if he wasnât railing you from behind and pushing more of his thick cum out of you. Heâs using his spilt seed as lubrication for your second round. âWhat a devious little minx you are,â James rests his chin against your bare shoulder, his bent-over form hitting a new angle and making you wail in pleasure, âI bet you pushed it out on purpose so I would pump you full again.â He kisses your cheek and you have to face down so you didnât have to watch yourself getting savagely fucked by the devilish beast whoâd possessed your loving boyfriendâs (ex? â that broke your heart) chiselled body. If you continued watching the erotic scene, you would cum too quickly and⌠you didnât want thatâŚÂ
âLook at yourself!â James demands and pushes your chin up from underneath, forcing you to watch yourself get fucked.Â
Eyes wide, you try to look away but he holds your chin in place, âN-no! James!â
âWhy not?â he pants heavily, pleasure evident on his beautiful face. You can tell that he was savouring the feeling of you with the way every odd twitch of his brow perfectly corresponded to the sporadic tightening of your walls, âyou look so beautiful, my love, see?â he meets your eyes in the mirror, âyouâre an angel, an angel whoâs perfectly made for me. And I, you,â his poetry weakens your resolve more and more, âDonât you see how beautiful we look together? Weâre the perfect match, baby.â your moans and pants fog up the mirror, unable to say anything back as youâre too lost in the pleasure. James takes his hand away from your chin and focuses on aiming every powerful thrust perfectly so that you feel every tingle of pleasure spike up your spine. Maybe itâll be able to convince you to stay with him despite his motherâs unwarranted comments.Â
Feeling yourself tear up at your loverâs words and the sight of your pairing, you turn to the side, only to gasp at the new sight. The glass barrier of the shower provides you with the faintest reflection of your full-body lovemaking with James. His toned body and perfectly carved muscles make him look like a god and he was fucking you as if he had never felt pleasure like this before. His powerful thrusts make your ass bounce rhythmically and his down-turned face makes it obvious how transfixed he is with the movement, urging him to continue despite the ache in his legs and hips.Â
Seeing the two of you joined together like this and fully lost in the throes of passion stirs something in your lower belly. Itâs familiar and aching and hot andâ
Throwing your head back, you scream in pleasure and reach your high once again. Your legs are shaking and your hands try to grip the surface of the mirror in an attempt to steady the convulsions of your upper body. Behind you, James gives a few more powerful thrusts before spilling his hot cum inside you again. With the way your walls pulse and throb around him, your uterus wanted to swallow every bit of his cum and make a baby. And with how viscous his release is, thereâs a high chance youâve become pregnant.Â
Your legs are weak but James keeps you up with steady hands and a secure frame. Again, despite already reaching his high, James doesnât stop thrusting into you until youâre whimpering from overstimulation. Finally coming to a full stop, James lets out something between a sob and a groan, burrowing his face into your shoulder, âDonât leave meâ please donât leave me⌠I love you,â where his lashes press against your skin, a wetness pools and youâre alerted to his tears.Â
You take a shuddering breath and reach up a hand to comb through your loverâs untamed curls. âIâll stay JamieâŚâ James almost snaps his neck in half looking up, his wide, hopeful eyes connecting with yours in the mirror.
âYou..?â
âIâll stay,â you repeat gently but firmly, smiling at him.Â
âReally?â
âYes really,â you giggle at his visage; he looks like a kid on Christmas day. âAt this rate, I donât really have a choice,â you begin teasingly as his brows furrow in wonder, âafter all of that, I might as well be pregnant right now,â
Your joke isnât met with a humorous chuckle like you expect, instead, thereâs a stirring inside you. Gasping softly, you turn your head and meet Jamesâ dark stare with wide-eyed shock, âJamie! Itâs t-too soonââ he captures your lips fiercely and begins ramming into you for the third time â in a matter of seconds, he had become rock hard again. However, in the state that you were in, sensitive from overstimulation, there isnât a chance of you lasting longer than a minute. âA-ahhhh! James!â
âFuck! I love you so much~â James moans deeply, a string of saliva connecting your lips as he pulls back from the heated kiss, âyou drive me fucking crazy,â you try holding on for as long as you can but James slapping your ass only to grip possessively at the flesh was all it took to make you cum again. The high makes you tear up, becoming a pitiful, whimpering mess beneath your tenacious lover.Â
âI want to make sure youâre really pregnant by the end of tonight,â James comments as he presses a kiss into the back of your head. âWe can keep going until sunrise, canât we, love?â
Thereâs only one true answer to that, âyes~â
NAVI. | FULL VER.
A/N : this is the short version of my first-ever smut fic. this version only contains the main nsfw scene of the oneshot. i hope you darlings enjoy the read! if you're interested, feel free to read the full version too!
#mdni#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter smut#james potter x you#james fleamont potter#james potter fanfiction#aaron taylor johnson x reader#mature#james potter oneshot
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Stellaron Hunter Sunday thoughts, going on a mission edition:
Kafka's buying a cake to celebrate Sunday's first official IPC bounty. After a terrifying mission where he uses some Path powers on an important group, he's winded, but his new teammates are clapping when he returns to them safe and sound. And it's at that moment that Sunday realizes that there is no going back to his old life.
Imagine a cutscene where the Astral Express is enjoying a banquet with a bunch of guests. One by one all of the other guests start to fall unconscious. As the room falls silent and the lights flicker and hum, the crew hears the even-spaced, metronomic clicking of footsteps... before they spot a familiar Halovian, dressed to the nines in the darkest shade of midnight blue, making his way into the banquet hall.
How do you get away from a man who doesn't even need a weapon to be a major threat? Bring up Robin. Ask him, "What would Robin think?" or "Would Robin want you to do this?" It stuns him the first few times, but it loses its effectiveness quickly as he begins to convince himself (or perhaps Elio has convinced him?) that everything he does is for Robin's happiness and salvation.
Illusion and dreams are extremely versatile powers in the right hands. Consider: illusory doubles of yourself and your enemy, voices and sounds that distract and deflect, or trapping a single person in your own mental world to eliminate them when they're unable to receive help from their friends.
Maybe he needs a weapon for style purposes, like a conductor's baton similar to the one Dominicus/Septimus had. It works well thematically given how both the Harmony and Order are themed around music. Also it would look cool in battle. One flick of the wrist, and everything is under his control, mirroring the very first scene in the prologue where Kafka plays air violin.
Can Sunday be contained in conventional ways? If you lock him in a cell and leave a guard in the room, could he trap them in a waking dream where they think a loved one is in the cell and feel compelled to break them out? How far does this power extend?
How self-assured is Sunday of his power? Does he believe in Elio's script enough to trust in fate that his enemies will fall? Can his captors see it on his face- an unsettling smile that screams "Do whatever you want, try whatever you will- fate is on my side."?
We've had several moments where the Stellaron Hunters manage to protect each other or free each other (SW saves Kafka in the prologue, Blade breaks Kafka free of the Matrix and helps her escape, etc.). Imagine the playful banter Sunday has when he's finally rescued by the Hunters. As serious as he usually is, with a side of appreciation.
I imagine he's still got that space fantasy Catholicism influence in his words and actions. He's quoting proverbs and admonishing sinners while watching buildings blow up, things like that.
Maybe he puts those proverbs away when dealing with the Astral Express who already bested him once, and who are as noble as him. Perhaps he sees them as equals who could potentially best an Aeon, and he's just playing the villain to make sure fate takes the right course.
Sunday, eating dinner in an apartment the group rented on a whim: "Do you mind if I say grace before we eat?" Blade: "I do mind. This is an Aeonless apartment."
#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#the last one is really silly i know. sorry for referencing neo yokio. twice.#these were all inspired by me thinking 'what if he shows up in 2.3 on the radiant feldspar and causes problems'#stellaron hunter sunday#hsr 2.2 spoilers#what do i tag this as???#hsr headcanons#hsr theory
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Hello! I read your âbeing keeganâs girlfriend would entailâŚâ and was wondering if you could do one for David/Hesh Walker? My manz doesnât get enough love
If not thatâs totally okay! Thanks for reading!
Being Keeganâs girlfriend would entailâŚ
Being David Walkerâs girlfriend would entailâŚ
David âHeshâ Walker x fem!Reader (thatâs my last name too actually wink wink)
Explicit - 18+
â Heâs got a lot of room in his heart for tenderness.
â The pain he feels from having lost his father hasnât gone away, but it doesnât plague him like it used to. (Listen, weâve got Logan safe and sound in this universe our man doesnât need any more problems)
â What he needs from a lover is patience. The violence heâs experienced, itâs made him rougher around the edges. (Tougher? Rougher? Pls help) He just needs a lil time to soften up to you, I think Hesh would be the sweetest man fâyou, such a loving and considerate boyfriend.
â Hesh cherishes the intimate, sweet moments of a relationship. Holding you in his arms in the early hours of the morning, listening to your little puffs of breath, the calmness in your face as you sleep.
â Heâs so gentle with you. If itâs his thumb stroking over your cheek in soothing motions, or the palm of his hand running along the soft skin of your back. Treats you so well.
â Chemtrails over the Country Clubs by Lana Del Rey reminds me of him. âTulsa Jesus Freakâ and âLet Me Love You Like A Womanâ are Hesh songs to me. Very domestic and intimate.
â I think of him as a socially confident person, a man who carries himself with confidence, falls into conversation easily. Heâs charming heâs got rizz basically, you donât have to search for long to find the reasons you fell for him.
â I meanâŚpretty green eyes, tall, arms like his? Iâd eat him up.
â Heâd date someone shy, I think. I think heâd find your shyness endearing, amusing even.
â He loves taking you out for dinner, partly because he loves the sight of you all dressed up for him. He strikes me as someone with he a classic taste, likes romantic makeup styles, dresses that hug your curves and lacy lingerie.
â His softness carries over into the bedroom, of course. I canât imagine him being degrading or enjoying anything too rough, honestly. He canât resist teasing you a bit though, a little meanness is all fun. He likes you submissive though, and he can be stern sometimes. Whoâs complaining anyways letâs be honest with ourselvesđ
â Heâs gonna be groping you mercilessly. Loves soft thighs, a nice pair of tiddies, anything soft. Heâs big on foreplay, loves to finger you while praising you. Luvs to praise.
â He WILL suck on your nipples. Probably groaning about how much he loves your body while doing so.
â Wouldnât actually choke you, but heâll wrap a hand around your neck nd apply pressure gently, he likes seeing his hand âround your neck + you find it grounding, even comforting.
â Makes you look him in the eyes while his hand is in your panties, âDoes that feel good, baby? Yeah?â Nd you best believe heâs stopping if he doesnât get an answer.
â Very into eye contact while heâs fucking you. Again with the âYou like that, pretty girl?â While gripping your jaw nd making you look at him, groaning out a âGood girlâ once you answer him.
â This just turned into sex headcannons bruhđ
â Loves blowjobs. Also lowkey wants you to lick/suck on his balls but heâs a bit embarrassed to ask, youâll figure out he enjoys it from his reactions anyways. Also pretty hairy, but not as much of a bear man as Keegan is.
â He sends you pics of him in his combat uniform while heâs out on deployment. Heâll certainly appreciate pics of you in return, a mirror selfie of you in some nice lingerie would drive him crazy. Loves a nice photo of you in his boxers too.
â I think heâd be very shy about reciprocating those kinds of images, but heâd send you over some mildly suggestive ones. Heâd be very confused if you ask for a nut vid. (That sounds so fucking dumb, nut vid??)
Me?? Writing for someone other that Keegan??? No but this was fun, Iâve been wanting to write for Hesh for a while. Hope you enjoyed!! I think this is my first request ever tihi
#david hesh walker#david hesh walker x reader#hesh walker#hesh walker x reader#cod ghosts#call of duty#call of duty ghosts#cod#call of duty headcanons
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so I had this idea last night and I can't stop thinking about it
Soap x actual ghost Simon Riley.
everyone knows the base is haunted, footsteps heard in empty corridors, doors suddenly slamming shut, long scratches appearing across tables and lockers, mirrors breaking, things flying off shelves. only Price knows it's actually Lieutenant Simon Riley, who died a couple of years prior. he had endless unfinished business, hoardes of enemies still alive, countless issues unresolved, enough that it will take years for his ghost to move on. Price tries his best to help him, to deal with his enemies, but no matter what he does it doesn't seem to make a difference
Soap is new to the base and doesn't believe in the ghost stories at first, but he soon realizes all the rumors are true. unlike everyone else he's not scared though, it's just a ghost, it can't hurt him. he greets the ghost when a door flies open, asks him about his day when scratches appear on the table in front of Soap, gently chides the ghost when he pushes stuff off the shelves. says "goodnight ghostie" before going to bed.
eventually the ghost starts to settle, becoming less violent, less restless. doors start opening for Soap when he's got his hands full. things he's misplaced mysteriously reappear in his room. little messages show up on the mirror in the bathroom, written in the steam from the shower. "stay safe" "don't forget your notebook" "welcome back"
at night, in bed, Soap can feel the ghost's featherlight touches, innocent at first, stroking his cheek, playing with his hair, pulling the blanket over his exposed feet. eventually it becomes more than that, ethereal hands sliding across Soap's chest and stomach, following the curve of his hips, brushing against the inside of his thighs. Soap, half-asleep, half-dreaming, touches himself, the ghost's hands making his skin tingle and his heart race, egging him on.
afterwards, when Soap cracks his eyes open in the dead of night, he thinks he can see a white skull in the darkness. it's not frightening or even unsettling. it's just the ghost. it's his ghost.
years pass. the rumors of the base being haunted fade, the ghost no longer a menace. only Soap knows the ghost still remains, but it only ever haunts Soap. Price tries to ask him about it, certain that Lieutenant Simon Riley still has unfinished business and that his ghost wouldn't have moved on, but Soap denies knowing anything about it.
it's a dangerous line of work. Soap gets injured, badly. he barely manages to hold on until they're back at the base. he's dying and he knows it, but he can't die out on the field. he doesn't know where he would end up. he needs to die at the base, where the ghost is.
and he does. he would have liked to live a longer life, but all in all, it's not so bad. everything just kind of fades. there's a moment of complete darkness, and then a figure emerges, wearing a skull mask.
it's the ghost, welcoming him with open arms.
"Johnny", the ghost says.
it's the first time Soap hears Simon Riley's voice, and it makes him fall in love all over again. their spirits settle into one another, both of them finding peace at last, fading from this world and into the next, together.
#⨠enjoy â¨#ghostsoap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#simon riley#john mactavish#call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#mw2#my fics#drabbles#ghost#soap
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The calm after the storm.
Pairing: Dad!Spencer Reid x reader
Wordcount: 718
Summary: Spencer comes home after being kidnapped.
Warnings: None. I imagined this happening after the events of the Criminal Minds episodes Believer (13x22) and 300 (14x01), but it's not necessary to understand the story.
Note: This is not my best work, but I still put in effort and I'm proud of it anyway. Any feedback is welcome, just be kind about it.
Also, even if all you do is read this without leaving a like or comment or anything else; thank you. I might never know you read this, but it still means a lot.
Story:
The whole apartment smelled like fresh baked sweets. The entire kitchen was covered in bowls, kitchen utensils and flour that you were itching to clean. But, hearing your daughter laugh and seeing how exited she was pressing all the different shaped cookie cutters into the rolled out dough, made that itch disappear like snow in the sunlight. The sound of keys hitting the bottom of a bowl made you turn around. It couldnât beâŚ
The only person it could be was your husband, but it couldnât be him. He was an FBI agent with the Behavioural Analysis Unit. His job was dangerous and yesterday you had gotten one of the two calls you had been dreading since the start of your relationship. Your husband had been kidnapped. Your hearts weight had tripled the moment you heard. Your husbands boss had promised their team would find him, but in what state? The only guarantee in this situation was that there were no guarantees. All you could think about were your daughters. Your little girls had just turned four and you had no idea how to raise them without their father. You couldnât tell them what happened, so, in an attempt to distract them this morning, you were baking cookies with one of them, the other still sleeping. Until you heard that one sound you didnât expect.
âDaddy!â Your daughters voice pulled you out of your thoughts as she jumped off her step stool and ran toward the door. Your eyes followed the little girl until she flew into the arms of the person who had just entered your apartment. The man you had been married to for over seven years. Your husband and the father of your children. He was okay. He was safe. He was home.
You walked towards your husband as he hugged his daughter. âHi pumpkin! I missed you!â He told the four year old in his arms. âI missed you too, daddy! Mommy and I made cookies, do you wanna see?â Abby asked enthusiastically. âAbsolutely, but whereâs Amy?â Her dad asked her about her twin sister as you watched in awe a few feet away. âAmy is still sleeping.â Abby told him. âAh, in that case, Iâm just gonna say hi to mommy and then you can show me all the cookies you made, okay?â Your husband asked your little girl. She nodded and so her dad put her down on the ground, opening his arms for you. He didnât have to wait even a single second. Without having to think about it, you stepped closer, wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him as close as you possibly could. Feeling your husbands body against your own, caused you to release a breath you didnât even know you were holding. âI was really scared.â You breathed into his ear. âI was too, but Iâm here now. Iâm home.â Spencer whispered as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. âI love you.â You whispered back, mirroring his actions. âI love you.â He whispered back, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He loosened his hold on you just enough to press his lips on yours. You wished you could stay in that moment forever, but you had to breathe. As you pulled away, you heard a door open behind you. âDaddy!â You heard and moved aside just fast enough for your husband to catch the little girl running straight at him. She wrapped her little arms tightly around her father and hid her little face in his neck. âHey peanut, you okay?â Spencer asked her. âI missed you, daddy.â The little girl answered. âAw, I missed you too, sweetheart. Hey, mommy and Abby made cookies. Do you want to go see them?â Her dad then asked her. That caught Amyâs attention. She loosed her hold on her dad and turned towards you. âYou made cookies without me?â Your little girl then asked you. Her big brown eyes and quivering lip almost broke your heart. âWe did, but we still need to decorate them and we couldnât possible decorate all those cookies by ourselves.â You told her, exaggerating a little, hoping it would prevent a tantrum. âCan daddy help?â Amy then asked. âAbsolutely.â You smiled, happily knowing your family was together, healthy and safe.Â
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer x reader#criminal minds fic#bau#dad!spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction
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Homicidal Liu NSWF Headcanons/Imagines x fem.reader!
⼠The things I would let him do to me.. tw. There are a guns and knifes mentioned almost at the end! Please, always remember about safe sex! Take care!!;3
.â˘ââ˘â˘âŚ đ¤ âŚâ˘â˘ââ˘.
â Such a soft dom! He would never be a meanie to you! You are his little, precious angel..you are definitely a good girl, and they do deserve a special treatment..
âCome on sweetheart, i know you can take it. Can you feel how deep I am? How full are you, baby?â he say, as he bury his thick cock inside your tight hole, his balls slapping your skin.
Also! Cares about your pleasure more than about his own! He would worship you, you are his Goddes..say the word and he will do it!
My ladies.. Liu is also a consent king! In your first few time he asks literally for everything! Can he hold your hand? Can he kiss you on lips? Can he touch you here or there..? Such a gentleman.
â Liu's cock is slightly above average and quite thick, plus he knows how to use it! I believe he is well groomed and really care about hygiene. Might give you a small bulge in throat or in your tummy..no worries tho! He is such a gentle lover!
âLook sweetie..look how deep I am. Can you feel me?â - he asks, gently putting his palm on your belly.
â Loves making out with you! He could do it for eternity..giving you sloppy and needy kisses, his tongue deep in your mouth..<3 His hand starts with your hair, to end up on your cute ass! He is such a good kisser! You will get all horny just from his lips on yours..Just imgaine what he can also do with that tongue..!
â He loves eating you out! His favorite place is in between your legs. When i say he could do it for hours - i really mean it! Also please, seat on his face! Dont worry about his comfort..do it! The feeling of your thighs on his face, and your wet pussy..he just melts at the thought!
âCome on doll, seat on my face..you were such a good girl, let me taste you..â
â Eye contact! Makes you look at him when he fucks your brains out, or when you are giving him head. Dont be shy or he will make you look at him, holding your chin up.
âAh ah..my eyes up are here love..â he says, as his soft hand grabbing your cheeks and make you look into his green eyes, as he fucks you silly.
â His fav position is definitely missionary! He can hold you close to him and look at your cute little expressions? He is in heaven! Also you holding hands when you are cumming!
Liu really enjoys cock-warming and cuddle sex! Just anything that lets you be close to him!
â Liu isn't too loud in bed. He whispers soft praises in your ear or whimper, his breathing fast. But! Sometimes he will moan! His mouth will make the most prettiest sounds!
â He doesnt have specific turn on's. You always look so so pretty! No matter if you wear pajama, have a bad hair-day, are sick or if you wear clothes straight from red carpet! He loves you in everything!
âTitties or ass? Personality.. If he has to chose - breasts! Doesn't matter what size, he just love having them in his soft hands, caressing them and licking your nipples. And also the best cuddles are when he puts his head on your chest!
â Kinks: I would say he is pretty vanilia on the whole, but he is eager to try new things! On the other hand..he would like to try something with a guns or knifes, maybe just holding it up to your neck, or give you a slight cuts - but only if you would be fine with that! He would never ever hurt you! Also might be eager to try spanking or fucking you in front of mirror (there is something about watching ever little detail of the things that you are doing!) He is also not scared of getting messy - perfect guy for period sex.
â Aftercare. When you are both satisfied, he will gently hold you for a moment, just caressing your hair and whispering soft âI love you..â, âAre you feeling alright sweetheart? Do you need anything?â or some praise - âYou did such a good job, my little one..â. If you are sore, he will made you a bubble bath. Hungry? He is already putting on apron. Just thirsty? One word and you will get whatever you wish. Please, please dont forget to take care about him too! You will also get reminded to go pee before sleeping (you dont want to have UTIs!!). After your visit to bathroom? You will talk about anything, till you fall asleep in eachother arms <3
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