#like idk what it is about any older woman im like omg ur nice to me that makes me want 2 b like ill listen 2 u talk show me where ur

[hollowfairybabybat]

i think my weird daddy issues r actually the fault of my mommy issues

[bombshelllblonde]

heyyyyyy im backkk!!!!!!!

invading ur ask box again lol, sorry!!!!!!

this might start being a thing

ANYWYAS

i totally forgot to mention last time hiw muvh i love lenny, mary-beth and hosea and tilly and MOLLY O SHEA omg

the drinking mission w lenny is one of my favorites, and I LOVE PLAYING DOMINOES W TILLY MY GIRL SHE IS THE BEST

AND SADIE I LOVE HER SM

Like yea gurl!!!!! kill the o driscolls!! kill them all!! avenge ur pookie!!! rahhh!!!

Mary-beth and kieran are my blorbs. my pookies. my babbygirls. my schmookums

molly o'shea that woman that she is i love her so so so much

i feel so bad for her tho w her fights w dutch :(

speaking of dutch, idk i have like a neutral (slightly negative) view of him???

i dislike how he treats molly, and w how he treats mary-beth?? (inst dutch also like 40-50 and mary-beth like 20-smth? idk im probably rlly biased in this lol)

ALSO another reason dutch be chosing Micah the rat over what is his basically adopted son??

im definitely biased in this but wtv lmao

but he hasnt really done much so i dont hate him, but i dont like him either

moving on, do yk if theres any way to explore blackwater + south of it while playing as arthur? i wanna get all the dinosaur bones and legendary animals !!

i replayed the 'americans at rest' mission, yk w bill (i think) javier and charles at the bar (towards the beginning of the game)

its so fucking funny i cannot

arthur walks in, uses his amazing charmer skills (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) and then bill runs in, punches a guy therefore starting a bar fight, HERE COME CHARLES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, arthur gets his ass kicked and then kicks ass and nearly beats the guy half to death

yk when jack grows up and tells epople abt his dear ol uncle arthur that uncle lore drop boutta be CRAZYYYY

did i mention charles throwing a chair? its my favorite part could you tell

i have a pretty neutral view of john marston ig, i kinda hope he steps up and gets the stick outta his ass, starts being a father to jack or smth but im trying not to get my hopes up lmao

thats it for now!!!! hope u have a nice day!!!!

(thanks for responding to these btw! lmk if im bothering u tho, ty for letting me ramble abt my hyperfixation lmao)

okay lsitennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn rdr2 has been mt hyper fixation since July of 2022 when my brother in law gave me his old ps4 and the game and i don’t think ive shut up about it since i started playing. My entire personality is rdr2. And my current outlet/therapy is writing my rdr2 fanfiction

it’s gotten to the point where my family has literally started buying me cowboy/outlaw stuff. when I was a teenager i loved owls so everyone got me owl things. now im obsessed with cowboys at 26 years old and every gift I receive has something to do with outlaws

My sister got me a cameo of Roger Clark talking to me as Arthur for my 25th bday and literally nothing has ever topped that. It was the most amazing gift ever and now I have a video of Arthur Morgan saying my name and talking to me about my horses!!!! It’s so amazing I watch it all the time

unfortunately there isn’t any way to explore blackwater as Arthur unless you get like mods or something. the AI immediately roll up and the bounty hunters shoot him dead if you try to get into west Elizabeth

do you know how to play dominoes??? Literally ive only ever played 5 finger fillet in that game because i cant fucking play dominoes or poker bc i don’t know how

also Tilly is amazing just wait until later in the game. there’s a mission that really solidified the love i have for Arthur being the protective older brother

Dutch is sooooo complex and i think that’s why i love him so much. i won’t get too deep into my feels for him just yet bc i want you to keep going without me saying anything but once you get farther into the game we can talk about him!!!

Hosea and Dutch are literally my gay fathers. I love them so much. Their love for each other literally makes my tummy flip I love it so so so much

Also I’d let Charles hit me with a chair too, tbh. Love of my life

I never disliked Molly but I didn’t like her either, I think she’s just too much of a loud mouth. Felt like to me she could have not been in the game and it wouldn’t have changed much. Idk

And John’s complexity we can talk about after you progress a lil further. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything or give it away unless you don’t care about spoilers. But I’m just gonna stay quiet until you let me know 😂😂😂😂

[thrillridesz]

Is there any thing that shocked you about your moots? 👀

well i guess so? a few of them? shock is a big word haha but it’s mostly nothing big and none of which are in a bad way, just things i didn’t really expect out of them lol

i’ll try to list it down here. ( under the cut because this is long lol )

@yangyanghater​ ( cal )

the chaotic energy is strong as fuck with this one LOL i swear, whenever i talk to cal, i smile and she makes me laugh all the time. when we first talked, tbh i didn’t know what to expect and ngl i thought she ignored me on purpose because we were talking and she suddenly stopped replying for like a couple of weeks and i was like ... did i say something wrong (it turned out to be dumblr’s fault so). I was super intimidated by her but honestly, we’re really just the same level of clown and i think another thing that ‘shocked’ me was the amount of things we had in common. like dude, we can talk about EVERYTHING. literally everything. i tell her most stuff and even sensitive topics, we are able to talk it out and respect each others opinions without judgement. I don’t feel like im walking around eggshells around her now and im rly comfortable with her which is funny bc when we first started out i was kinda scared of her lol

@timextoxhajima ( dana )

i guess when i first talked to dana, i didn't think i’d find an older sister/mentor figure in her? she’s the one i go to talk about school and just tell random stuff about sometimes lmao... i’m kind of blown away by the level of maturity this woman has and it really does feel like i’m talking to someone i can really look up to as a role model of the kind of person i might wanna be like yknow? also dana strikes me as someone who’s very reserved and keeps to herself but i feel like that might not be the case because wow this woman is like ‘boss lady’ personified. you can’t put dana in a box seriously, she’ll break right out of it and amaze you. talking to dana feels like wearing goggles and looking at things from another perspective. so often i can be so dead set on my decisions and dana will say something that makes me go like ‘wait...’ 

@experimentalwrites ( nabi )

there’s just so many good things about nabi that i’ve discovered, i don’t even know how to start. so when i first started talking to nabi, i don’t think i realised how deep of a friendship would blossom from our first conversation. i don't think i realised just how much i would come to see nabi as someone i can rely on and like trust my secrets with. when i say tumblr’s my support system, nabi is really one of main reasons. she really helped me through my toughest time in college and for that, i’m just so extremely grateful to her? i always prided myself to solve my own problems without asking for help but i think i first found someone i can be vulnerable around in nabi. she’s the first person i really talked to about how shitty uni is even tho i wanted to try my best to look like im doing ok. i guess i’m just ‘shocked’ at how much i feel like i can tell you stuff without feeling insecure. 

@aniyawoos ( yu )

ok, yu is another big sister to me but more of the big sister who’s quiet, shy and just so fun to tease because she’s so cute with her reactions. like everyone else, i was also a little afraid of yu at first and i didn’t rly know what to say or do around her. i used to think she’s like the ice queen type but i guess the shock came in when i found that she’s actually quite soft? like ice queen who? not yu, for sure. she’s so incredibly full of wisdom and if i turn to dana and nabi for advice, i turn to yu for philosophical nuggets of wisdom.

 @mjlkau / @bratzau ( anie )

i’ve 100% mentioned this before but i’m mentioning it again. my first impression of anie is someone who is just so sweet, so kind and just extremely soft (she still is btw but hear me out). like i rmb when she first talked to me on kkt and talked to me discord when i felt so invisible, i was just so grateful to her and i was like she’s so nice omg >< i must say i didn’t expect her to have such a fiery, fiesty side? it’s like looking at an angel with that delightful streak of mischief and darkness in them. she’s super vocal about what she likes and doesn’t and is extremely outspoken about what is right even if it means she might have to bear the consequences for it. i think that’s something about her that makes me like woah omg i like her even more now. you get?

@neo-cult-ure ( ley )

i first met ley when i joined her neo summer collab ( which was also my very first collab ^^ ). i rmb i was just like kinda intimidated by her because she just seemed so cool and like yknow ‘up there’? unreachable in a way? i was relatively new to writeblr tumblr then so i mostly kept to myself and didn’t dare to like say anything for fear that i’d unknowingly say something wrong. though, when i actually started talking to ley, i realised that she’s actually really soft and kind? i think in my mind, i was just so caught up with the idea of accidentally offending people that i never gave a chance to people before placing them in that box you know? like oh idk i might not approach them bc im scared. but talking to ley kind of dashed that and i rmb being like so awestruck and happy when she told me she would feature me in one of her fics because that had to be one of the kindest thing anyone has ever done to me. i guess the ‘shock’ here is that i didn’t expect her to be so sweet and receptive to a peasant like me lmao

these are just the moots that stood out to me when i first saw this qn so if i think of anymore, i’ll add them to this list :)

[darlington-v]

HELLO YES IS ONE OF(?) THE FELLOW TRANSMASC BEEDUO ENJOYERS, RESPONDING AFTER A MULTIDAY DELAY.

CANT BELIVE THAT HANDHOLDING SHIT.

As someone else who has (on a certain level) like, made that connection, of someone I can be very affectionate with, but am still in the gender closet with for various reasons. I can absolutely understand your impulse and the preassure... a lot of my hesitation is based around a fear of going against some kind of perceived "ground work" in that relationship. And then I get frustrated because in this relationship and others i just would not have to think so much about this and how I present myself if I had just been born a cisguy. I am also just yearning for bro friendships where I'm just perceived as a dude from the get-go, even if I end up acting ""feminin"" or some shit.

But when I think about all the relationships I've had, I wouldn't want to have "skipped over" any of them, even if I wasn't, or didn't start by presenting my truly authentic self. I can't bring myself to regret or fully resent any of those connections, even if in my heart I can't always regard them as 100% "valid" or "genuine" in the context of how I know I was/am perceived and how I present. I dunno, I hope that makes sense, and helps in some way... I guess what im trying to say is, even if I have wishes and yearnings of how things could be different, I still am happy to have had the relationships I've had.... and I know ill just keep meeting new folks and either things will work out or they wont, and that'll be ultimatly for the best...

But hughu its also kinda silly when I think about it, that some internet dudes make me confront and think about all this shit. But it also does make sense too.

I don't know its very hard to explain, feel free to just ignore all this.

yes!!!! i TOTALLY understand this!

it's really frustrating because i would love to seek out other communities and environments that may lead into relationships similar to that of like??? SAME AFFECTION????? but im afraid to put myself out ANYWHERE new because i don't want to be perceived as like... woman-lite or anything. i don't want anyone to have to rethink how they perceive me i just wanted to present in the way that i feel.

similarly to what you said, i don't want to build something on "ground-work" i know i'll have to break down and like. make the REAL ground work pretty much?

and yeah! same! i get frustrated as well because it would just be much easier to deal w/ if i was just. cis. but i don't dwell on that too much, luckily

however i still run into the same issue: (more long winded venty shit below, ur invited to me being extremely vulnerable on the internet have fun)

how can i deal with this and make this easier for myself? is it... achievable even? like! yeah! how can i simply start new relationships with this... pre-established certainty of "that is a Boy! a BONAFIDE boy!" like... not even cis but just.

i struggle with the idea that most people who aren't trans will like... not... TRULY respect my identity? like behind closed doors. which is something i know a lot of trans people struggle with and honestly that is... our own issue in regards to trust. if no one throws and red flags that they don't actually respect your identity, then you really just have to trust that they do.

it's just... honestly putting conditions on like. your trust i guess. PERSONALLY. like im putting conditions on myself such as: if i present masculine then people will respect my identity and assimilate to how i identify, even if i don't present that yet.

which... usually isn't the case? people may take longer to assimilate but if someone is going to respect you, you can usually tell. or i feel like i can.

however. i guess. i want to shortcut the assimilation? but it's unfair to me to just put myself on hold until i don't need to ask people to like. REALLY understand liek HEY. THAT PITCHY MOTHERFUCKER IS A DUDE. because it's hard. and i, in my tiny pea brain, feel like a shortcut would just already be presenting male boy man MASCULINE. however, like i said, it's unfair for me to put that on myself bc that's a LONG time to wait!! that's coming out, getting a new wardrobe, and ALSO getting HRT!! that doesn't just happen in one day.

i explained to some friends that like. sometimes i wish i could just present a certain way and then no one could really ever know me intimately.

and it's definitely not that im... ASHAMED of being trans!! it's very nice and cool! however i feel sad that like... we're still adjusting as a society in terms of like... gender i guess? like... i do not want to be seen as woman-lite by anyone. in any degree. and sometimes you need a deeper understanding of gender to get past like... the weird like. ok he's... he's boy but like kinda not boy??

IT'S JUST. MMM. BEING PERCEIVED AND NOT INTERPRETTED CORRECTLY IS VERY TERRIFYING AND I HATE IT AND UR RIGHT BEING CIS WOULD BE EASIER, I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT TO BE CIS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO EMULATE CISNESS WHILST REMAINING QUEER WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE.

however same!!! the relationships i have now i love and i care very deeply about and i feel that like... even though they've known me before i was like "ok masc and he/they" and shit like that, i do feel like they understand like

*points* boy!!

however when it comes to strangers it's so... scary. and like IDK. ITS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE. AND IT'S WHY I WANT TO LIKE? EXPLORE THE COMMUNITY FOR OLDER TRANS PEOPLE. LIKE HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS???? how can you just BE OKAY when like... introducing yourself to strangers.

how can you just let... strangers in?

which is also *THROWS THINGS* THE WORST PART!!! I WANT TO BE A CONTENT CREATOR BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT!!!! I WANT MY VIEWERS TO GO BOY BOY BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE I HAVE NO FORM OF PRESENTATION BESIDE A PERSONA AND A VOICE AND MY VOICE IS PITCHY!!! ITS SO HIGH AND PITCHY!!!

and it's frustrating!! because i don't want an audience who doesn't like understand BOY!!! NOT WOMAN-LITE!!!!!!! NOT WOMAN GOING THRU PHASE!!!!!

BOYYYYY!!!!!

TLDR;

being trans is hard and i just don't want to be seen as woman-lite. i want to bee seen as like cis boy but trans. like i think i'd take more kindly to someone being like "omg i didn't even know you were trans!" to like someone infantilizing me and calling me a sweet little boy bean. and thats a lot easier between close friends! even though they have heard my voice and they've listened to me talk about being trans! they understand. and strangers?? have the potential to not. like they might? but what if they dont... and that's. Scary.

[pixelbatsy]

92 things!

yiKes im so late to this but i was tagged by @craighsiao, @kittenmusicals, @pbophelia, @zigisbisexual, and @mermaidwarriorqueen yall are so crazy i love yall thank u w all of my heart :’)))

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: "dont watch princess bride” w a pic of it buffering from my friend lmao 4. Song you listened to: fetish by selena gomez my newest bop 5. Time you cried: an hour ago bc of my shit eyebrows that got Ruined!

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lol

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: lol no

8. Been cheated on: LOL 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: hooyeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet djfakld

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. millennial pink lol 13. periwinkle 14. maroon

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: hooooo boy yeAH irl and on tumblr!! 16. Fallen out of love: specifically w thomas hunt sry bb 17. Laughed until you cried: me 24/7 18. Found out someone was talking about you: hajdhf yeah but she cried and apologized so we’re cool now 19. Met someone who changed you: omg yes so much 20. Found out who your friends are: yesyeysyes i luv them 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: who still uses fb

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: none?? 23. Do you have any pets: an inside cat, 3 strays outside that we just feed and they just chill out here, and also some fish that are like 6 years old 24. Do you want to change your name: i wanna switch my first and middle name 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went on vacation in florida and new orleans with my best friends hfjakdhf 26. What time did you wake up: 12:30 my sleeping schedule is fucked 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching makeup vids lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: TRR CHAPTER 15!!!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 30 mins ago idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my ability to talk to people bc my anxiety!! ahhaha!!!! 31. What are you listening to right now: FETISH BY SELENA GOMEZ A BOP!! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my fukxign eyebrows that the lady messed up ughggjkhsd 34. Most visited Website: is this even a question lmao tumblr and youtube 35. Mole/s: ugh i have one on my stomach and it bothers the shit out of me but i have more in other places im just too lazy to look 36. Mark/s: do cat scratch scars count bc i got a lot of those 37. Childhood dream: my mom told me my 1st grade teacher asked what i wanted to be and i remembered the episode of curious george that i watched before leaving the house and said an ice cream girl in the park but either that or become ariel 38. Hair color: rly dark brown but in the sun it turns rly light like into like honey brown idek 39. Long or short hair: ive had both but long hair is such a chore so short bc i have like medium rn 40. Do you have a crush on someone: who needs that when ur already married to henry cavill but chris powell, drake, the prince, maxwell, dick grayson, jason todd... 41. What do you like about yourself: i DID like my eyebrows smh its ok theyll grow back 42. Piercings: lol i didnt even get my ears pierced so none 43. Blood type: who are u identity theft fuk off m8 44. Nickname: CATLYN, kk, kalina bc me and my friend have a 824 snap streak and its our #goals ship name 45. Relationship status: single married to henry cavill i even had to organize my own wedding for a project in floral design sophomore year 46. Zodiac: cancer im a crybaby ik 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: pretty little liars, grimm, young justice, the big bang theory, two broke girls, sherlock, and family feud lmao 49. Tattoos: i want somethin smol but not yet 50. Right or left hand: i was gonna be a lefty but my daycare person literally treated me like shit and made me use my right hand so now im a righty and she got her ass fired :)) not like i remember anything tho lmao

51. Surgery: ortho surgery bc my mouth was too small and my teeth were so fucked up but braces gave me a glo up lol 52. Hair dyed in different color: omg no but i have these rly cool brown streaks on the side of my head and its also underneath my hair but its rly pretty ppl always ask me about it bc its like genetic idk its cool 53. Sport: i fucking live for watching football om Fg

55. Vacation: im guessing this is where ive been?? so uh hawaii, florida, mississippi, louisiana (and bish i been to shreveport, louisiana home of my boi jake mckenzie dshfjs), texas aka my home, las vegas, california, cozumel, jamaica, belize, and soon the bahamas!! 56. Pair of trainers: oh my god i have like 30+ pairs of shoes i love shoes!!

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing rn i ate steak for dinner tho 58. Drinking: water! 59. I’m about to: start watching a youtube video 61. Waiting for: my bday party w my friends on wednesday (lowkey those choices chapters too i wish my bb chris powell could wish me happy bday :’)) 62. Want: a BIG FAT bank account 63. Get married: to a nice rich husband yuh finished the sentence

64. Career: im a senior in hs and i got accepted into my pharm tech class aaaah were gonna get to go to hospitals and and wear scrubs and shit im so excited i wanna be a pharmacist or like somewhere in the med field bc they make BANK and also they help ppl :’)) 65. Hugs or kisses: from my future bb kisses 66. Lips or eyes: eyes yus 67. Shorter or taller: im 5′5 so im smol and theyre tol 68. Older or younger: mmm i prefer older but only like a year younger if theyre worth it dhfgsk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is so hard but arms bc abs arent a requirement but arms,,,, yes 71. Sensitive or loud: how am i both sensitive and loud (tru) 72. Hook up or relationship: lol relationship i want it all 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but troublemaker when im feelin big mood

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: uh kinda 75. Drank hard liquor: not yET LMAOOO 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: jkasjdf lowkey yeah 78. Sex in the first date: no omfg sfdhgj 79. Broken someone’s heart: wym 24/7 lmao jk no 80. Had your heart broken: by many fanfics lord lol 81. Been arrested: nonoono 82. Cried when someone died: im making animals count so yes 83. Fallen for a friend: almost but skrtskrr were still friends

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: if i try really hard YUH 85. Miracles: 11:11 twice a day for extra good luck yuh 86. Love at first sight: lol no 87. Santa Claus: yeah until i was like 14 88. Kiss on the first date: YUH WHY NOT if theyre not shit 89. Angels: meh not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: omg irl alina and caroline my bbs and online @evisms i rly love u,, so much 91. Eyecolor: brown 92. Favorite movie: the man from uncle that ive seen 7 times!!, wonder woman!!, ex machina, hidden figures, coraline, and moana

im not gonna tag anyone bc prolly the entire choices population has done this but hit it up if u wanna!!

[partygetsmewetttttter]

Questions 1-85 🤷🏽‍♂️ if you're down lol

Faaaacccckkk okok lol

1. Are looks important in a relationship?Tbh kind of2. Are relationships ever worth it?Yeah you just have to wait for the right one to come uk3. Are you a virgin?No sometimes I still wish I was tho like I wish I would have waited until I was married like how I planned to lol i wanted to lose it in a special way but it didn't happen4. Are you in a relationship?Hellll naaaaa5. Are you in love?No6. Are you single this year?Yeah and next yr too and the yr after that7. Can you commit to one person?Yes I can. Rn I can flirt w the whole world but I swear once I'm in a relationship I cut everyone off and keep you happy even if I can't keep myself happy and it sucks cus that's how I get taken advantage of 8. Describe your crushI don't like anyone rn 9. Describe your perfect mateTaller than me, kind of gordito, always talking, always giving me attention, down to stay in on a Friday night and watch movies w cudddles, able to smoke a fat bluhnnnnt w me, funny, mean to everyone but only nice to me, enjoys to fight w me like being able to roast me so I can roast back I don't want to pussy ass bihhhh, able to handle me cus there's days I have an attitude I love to talk shit lmaooo, respects me, treats me good, buys me food, likes hickeys, opens the door for me jus so he can smack my ass hehe, grand my ass 25/7, is a lil freak in the sheets JUST 4 ME like if we can't bust a quick upstairs while th fam is downstairs u ain't for me, and one who loves me ((((:10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No it's just lust 11. Do you ever want to get married?Yes. Nothing beats waking up to the love of ur life every morning and sleeping every night, being able to kick him while u sleeping and eating all his food that he said not to eat and fighting bcus he eats my Greek yogurt after he specifically said he didn't like it or fighting over who gets to sleep in the side of the wall and being able to jog all the cobijas hehe and being able to travel w him 12. Do you forgive betrayal?It depends tbh. I feel like some people deserve second chances bcus if you know they have good intentions and didn't mean to fuck up then give it a second try cus everyone makes mistakes you just have to learn from them uk 13. Do you get jealous easily?Already answered this one14. Do you have a crush on any one?No15. Do you have any piercings?I have double piercings on each ear, and my belly button 16. Do you have any tattoos?No I want one tho )))):17. Do you like kissing in public?Fasaack yessss like grab my face and show these nigguhs u own me hehe 20. Do you shower every day?Yeah right before I go to sleep bcus I just lay there naked lol 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?No lololol22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Highly doubt it23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yesssss already did 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?Nah I'll be too busy working on my masters 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?Kind of cus a big getting lonely asf ya feel26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes but he lied lmaoooo he broke up w me cus I went to college 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?Not that I remember 28. Have you ever been cheated on?Yaaaaa29. Have you ever cheated on someone?Nope30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?Tiddy implants and liposuction 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Duh lmao u didn't have a childhood if u didn't play some t-pain and cried lol 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?What does that mean lol 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Yeah 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?No35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Oh yeahhhhhh lol older guys know what they doinnnnnnnnngggggggg omg 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes41. Have you had sex so far this year?No )))):42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Already answered 43. How long was your longest relationship?1 yr 3 months 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?Only 2 serious relationships 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?46. How many times did you have sex last year?Uhhhmmmmm idk like 247. How old are you?1948. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Que le vaya bonito y que chingue su madre todo lo que no sirva hahaha 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?Their hands and laugh and cuddling abilities 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?Ehhhhh i think I would lol I miss him at times and all the live we shared 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?My dad52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?Yeah cus they weren't serious about me so why even keep trying 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yeah probly lol 54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yeppppp55. Share a relationship story.Too lazy to type 56. State 8 facts about your bodyIm fat. My left thumb is fatter than my right thumb. I have a scar on my left ear. Uhmmmm i don't have s thigh gap. My belly is pierced. My right eyebrow is better than my left. I have a scar on my forehead. And I'm fat 57. Things you want to say to an exPos58. What are five ways to win your heart?Already answered 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)Ugly 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?7 yrs lol 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?Answered 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Make breakfast for me and take it to bed then start besándome and uk how that gooooes63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Answered 64. What is your definition of cheating?Answered 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?A deep passionate kiss then kissing the neck then nibbling the ear then leaving bites in the neck and chest and going down the tummy then the rest is for me to know66. What is your favourite roleplay?Teasing w my tongue hehe 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Anything w food lmao 68. What is your sexual orientation?Str869. What turns you off?Too much aggressiveness like demanding aggressiveness that's not sexy lol idk hard to explain 70. What turns you on?Answered 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?Uhhhhh .....72. What words do you like to hear during sex?"Who's daddy" "you're so wet" "oh fuck" "baby" haha I'm wild 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Give me a million dollars 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for???? I don't get it 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?When it would be cold outside my ex would pump my gas for me ))))):76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?Give him my virginity lol 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?As long as both people are not underage you good 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?Lmaooooo too private 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?Everytime bae adds girls in Facebook and likes their picture 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Today 81. Who are five people you find attractive?Idk everyone ugly lol82. Who is the last person you hugged?Bae83. Who was your first kiss with?My 8tj grade "boyfriend" lol84. Why did your last relationship fail?He started becoming really abusive and we were both too hard headed so when we would fight we'd throw everything from the past to each other's face and say shit to each other that we didn't mean just to get each other mad, our first official break up I talked to someone else and he got mad and ever since that he would call me a hoe and a slut and call me names and it just wasn't the same anymore we would only fight bcus of his trust issues and shit and eventually I moved to a diff town for college and he ended things 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?Yeah depends tho

[tayegi]

Its going downhill omg “And if I find out that you’ve let someone else touch what’s mine… You’ll regret it.” HE'S A PSYCHOPATH....I'm curious About what will happen between jimin and her while jungkook is away!

Anonymous said:I started getting creepy vibes from Jungkook in equilibrium back in ch 4 when the girl said she felt like he might hit her before he kissed her (which is not a normal feeling you should get from your lover, even fleetingly) and he just keeps getting worse. You're doing a great job at showing how unhappy she is so I think people who are defending jungkook are purposefully being blind cause you're clearly not portraying it as a healthy relationship and never have been. Hope you're doing well!

Anonymous said:The relationship the OC, Jungkook, and Jimin have in Equilibrium honestly makes me sad. Separately, I think they could be much happier but together they're toxic and destructive. None of them are doing something good because they're all using each other, and Jungkook's behavior is in no way "hot"... you've built an incredibly interesting story, and I'm excited to see where t goes!

Anonymous said:To the people who think jungkook in equilibrium: NO HE'S NOT. Honestly, I can't understand how people find him attractive still, but I'm going to try to guess. Maybe it's the idea of being so completely "loved" by someone or having them pour all of their attention onto you. But the thing is, you deserve better than some psycho who says they care. (1/2)

Anonymous said:You deserve someone who treats you like a human, not and object. You deserve to feel safe. to you, Lu: Thank you for writing such a beautifully morbid piece. I know it's not finished, and with all the frustrating responses it may be a lot to deal with at times since you're already so busy, but thank you. This story shows that relationships aren't always nice, or good, or healthy. It shows how tragic they can really be, and while someone may not be "good", they shouldn't have to deal with bs(2/2)

Anonymous said:It terrifies me that girls can find jungkook's character to still be attractive. There's a difference between someone being kinda protective or playfully jealous and straight up psychotic and possessive. I get that maybe it's like "oh but he was such a good guy" or that they're attached to an idea of jungkook in real life, but that doesn't make it any less concerning. In fact, it find it even more terrifying frankly. (1)

Anonymous said:The reason I find it more terrifying that people would still find him attractive if their reason is attachment to the real life human or previous attachment from earlier in the fic is that this is exactly how abusive relationships happen. It's not likely that someone will start off hitting you or being controlling on like the second week you're together. Everything will be close to perfect probably. (2)

Anonymous said:The whole issue (that I think your fic executes perfectly) is what happens when a relationship becomes something toxic, and this person (who you may or may not be in love with) becomes someone you never would have originally dated. But the inability to see the situation for what it is and to continue to idolize and love someone unconditionally is a huge concern. When you have to blur the lines of right and wrong for someone, chances are something is wrong. I just wish people could see that. (3)

Anonymous said:As someone who has been in a past relationship with him being possessive. It's not cute it's not sexy it's fucking terrible and terrifying. Lucky I was able to get out of it quickly. My older brother and mommy made a sure he would stay the hell away from me because he keep harassing me calls, texts, showing up at my house unannounced. Even tho this is a fanfic they are things people need to take seriously and not be light hearted about this.

Anonymous said:Ok honest time right now the new chapter of equilibrium gave a anxiety,It was just like I could feel the tension and the idk everything just coming over me and the times Jungkook said the oc was his and only his made me so uncomfortable and uneasy srsly it was like I was the one in an abusive relationship and then she tries to "escape" to Jimin and even then she can't because even subconsciously, idk if it makes sense,Jungkook its still trapping her and not letting go and I feel so bad for her

thekookiecrush said:I started reading Equilibrium today and I just finished it and omg, everything that is said or is happening, it's like a shot in my heart, sometimes I shivered because the whole situation is so fucked up but your story is so good, my heart is still racing from chapter 11. I can't wait for the story to be continued... thank you for that high-quality masterpiece

Anonymous said:ok like tbh im super done with every single anon that takes the time to actually defend jk's disgusting behavior. it might be difficult to look past his real-life persona as an idol, but come on. no man, no matter how beautiful or nice to other people, should be allowed to do this or even 1/5th of this to a woman. it's just not.......justifiable at all. like please get your heads straight and think for a few moments before sending practically misogynstic messages like this. im just....wow wtf

Anonymous said:Patiently waiting for Jin or yoongi to separate all of them. I can't trust jungkook for one sec it sound like there's more going on when he's not around the oc and jimin. I don't trust jimin obviously and the oc. Now it's gotten to the point where I'm just like please leave eachother the oc and jimin are hurting as of jungkook idk if he actually has real feelings for the oc but hmm. THEY ALL NEED TO GO.

awkward-kooks said:This is why we need to work harder against abuse. It's not a pretty thing to romanticize it since it is dangerous. As someone whose best friend is in an emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive relationship, it hurts seeing some of your readers thinking that Jungkook's personality (at least in the FANFICTION) is completely OK and valid since he's just "protecting" the reader or "getting jealous" of Jimin's character.

Anonymous said:Argh, reading the new chapter makes me feel kind of sick. I feel so bad for the OC and this whole situation is giving me anxiety. The way Jungkook is acting makes me want to scream at him hahaha :( I can't believe he doesn't see how wrong this is (being all possessive and guilt-tripping her and all) :((( but it was amazingly written so thank you!

Anonymous said:So I'll be honest enough to say that I just started reading Equilibrium. At first it feels so intense and you just start feeling on edge (in an angsty/giddy way). But after a while, the relationship dynamics begin to feel digusting! Don't get me wrong tho I 100% luv ur writing but the abuse is getting way out of hand and I wouldn't want that for myself my gawd i would've quit from day 1 hahaha cause im kinda possessive, and sharing with another person and endure abuse is a big fuck no!!

Anonymous said:Wow Equilibrium is getting scary. What scares me more is that you are writing an OC who is scared about what could possibly happen, she is being emotionally manipulated. And there are people who think that what JK is doing is sexy. I hope that your readers eventually understand what is and what isn't a healthy relationship. None of this is healthy. You want relationship goals look at Morticia and Gomez Adams. This is a fantastic piece of writing though. Thank you.

Anonymous said:Thank you for that amazing update holy shit. Jungcock is seriously scaring me so much and I feel so bad for the mc and Jimin. I feel as if Kookie purposely poisoned Jimins food. And honestly I'm so scared for the mc. Like the way Jungkook traps her and has this possessiveness, powering over the mc freaks me out so much. I feel as if the mc will not be able to take the possessiveness anymore and well run away? Thank you for the update. This chapter I feel is very important. Have a good day!

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR NOT FALLING PREY TO OUR DISGUSTING MISOGYNISTIC SOCIETY THAT TELLS US A POSSESSIVE, CONTROLLING, CRAZY MAN IS SEXY!!! IT’S NOT. IT’S FUCKING SCARY AKLSJDFKLSJF IM SO GLAD THAT THERE ARE SANE PPL OUT THERE