#like idk just the fact that. lately I've had to have more discussions about setting real boundaries

[veshialles]

someone liked my random vent post from a year ago and like. goddamn, I remember reaching a point where I almost started to believe that maybe it was normal to be treated that way by my mother and that maybe she was right when she said "this is just how everything is, this is how normal parents treat their children, you just don't understand, it's just you and your BPD worldview that makes you think that way" and how she would claim that her abuse was because "I'm just setting boundaries Ruby!!" and I really began to believe I would never escape or get better mentally. and now comparing all of those "discussions"(actually just getting words spewed at me for 3 hours in a condescending tone) to the real back-and-forth conversations I have had with my circle of friends and my partner since I finally left that place, the contrast is so strong I could cry from relief. thank god I'm finally free from that hellhole.

[imagines--galore]

Okay HI hello I hope you're doing well!! I haven't been on tumblr for a few days, been so distracted with stuff but I've had an idea in my head for so long now I gotta share it.

Stephen Strange x Reader (ofc lmao) where Reader and him are in a secret relationship cause they know it would cause problems within the Avengers and their dangerous jobs.

One day, everyone is in the tower discussing stuff. And idk how it would lead up to it. But essentially goes like

Stephen: I'll have to ask the wife.

Tony: you have a wife. You of all people? What- did you buy some bimbo off ebay?

Essentially just absolutely dissing him not at all believing that he has a wife etc etc. And Stephen is all annoyed and says something in defense. And eventually reader goes

"The wife says no." While glaring at Tony

Pairing: Dr. Stephen Strange x Reader Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. A/N: How do you come up with these brilliant ideas?!

You knew the meeting was important. It was the only time when all the Avengers were on planet, in dimension and with no missions.

A rare occurrence.

Which was why Tony Stark had decided to call in all the Avengers to discuss their most recent missions and take notes. In case there was some other threat looming over the horizon that could potentially destroy the planet.

So far, no one had reported anything out of the ordinary. And you were glad. Not only because the world was at peace for the time being, but also because it meant your husband didn't have to run off on a mission that required his expertise.

Your husband was none other then Dr. Stephen Strange.

And when it came to the nature of your relationship, no one knew.

Or perhaps some of them knew. But if they did, no one had revealed it to anyone else. Which was just how the both of you preferred it to be.

Mostly because it provided you two with the privacy that you needed, and given your line of work, the more secretive a relationship the better. If Barton could hide his entire family from the rest of the world as well as the Avengers for a good many years, then you and Stephen could hide the nature of your relationship as well.

Not that you were ashamed of it or anything. Nothing of the sort. The decision was made on behalf of the fact that the nature of your jobs was life-threatening. He had his fair share of enemies, and you had yours. And while both of you were capable of holding your own against the opposing forces, there was no harm in taking extra precaution.

Hence the secrecy of your relationship.

Though for the last few days or so, you had been discussing about getting it out in the open. At least to the rest of the Avengers.

At present you were listening to Captain America as he assigned the next set of missions to everyone. There were only a few, and you had been paired with AntMan who had waved at you. You smiled and waved back. You liked working with Scott, he was always fun to be around.

However, you did not miss the way Stephen's eyes found yours. You only gave him a small smile and a wink, knowing how much he preferred that the both of you take on missions together.

But hey, he couldn't always get what he wanted.

Just then Tony asked Stephen a question, to which your husband was a little late with his response. Prompting Tony to gaze quizzically at him.

"Feeling alright there Dumbledore? Don't want you flaking out on me during the mission." Apparently Stephen had been paired with Tony Stark aka Iron Man himself. The realization prompted you to hide your smile behind your hand.

"Stop calling me that." Stephen stated in a deadpan voice, which only served to make Tony goad him further.

"Oh lighten up. Or should I say Lumos?" This time a giggle did escape you, but you weren't the only one. Anyone who got the reference let out a small laugh at your husband's expense.

"You need to learn to take a joke Strange, but think about it? You're a single fella going on a mission where the majority of the population on the planet is female, should double your chances of getting laid wouldn't it?" Since he was already married to Pepper, Tony of course made no mention of himself being in the same category as Stephen.

You frowned, your previous mirth forgotten as you glared at Tony. You knew it wasn't his fault for making such a remark, but you still couldn't help the small sliver of jealousy as well as anger that burned in you at the thought of Stephen being around all those women. Not that you didn’t trust him, you just didn’t trust females you didn’t know.

Stephen, ever the observant husband, was quick to pick up on your mood, even from sitting across the table on opposite ends. Perhaps your reaction was what compelled him to say what he did next.

"I don't know Stark, I'll have to ask the wife."

Instantly the whole atmosphere of the room changed. Everyone, even those who had their suspicions, turned to stare at the Sorcerer Supreme with a gobsmacked expression on their faces. You were one of them. You certainly hadn't been expecting him to come out and say it like that.

Tony was the first one to recover. "You have a wife? You?!" He let out a laugh of disbelief at which Stephen raised an eyebrow at him. "What did you buy her off E-Bay or something?" He continued to joke. Somehow he didn't think it possible for someone so uptight as Strange to have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

"I mean come on Strange, if you want to lie, at least make it a convincing one." He continued with a roll of his eyes.

Stephen glared at Tony. “And why would I lie about having a wife?” The man shrugged. “You tell me. You’re the one who’s lying.”

“How about I just call her and ask?”

So saying Stephen drew our his phone from a pocket dimension and pressed dial on the number that was saved under your name.

Everyone could hear the phone ringing at the other end. What no one had been expecting was for your phone to start ringing within those first few seconds.

Your gaze was fixed on Tony’s as you picked up your phone from the table and accepted the call. Stephen instantly hit the speaker button, while you raised your phone to your ear and calmly spoke into it.

“The wife says no.” Your voice rang loud and clear, live as well as from the speaker of Stephen’s phone.

The reactions were instantaneous. While some only stared in disbelief, others were more vocal about it. Tony was the former, staring at the both of you, his brain unable to process what had just occurred. You ended the call before standing up and pretended to dust off the front of your skirt. “Husband? Would you mind taking us home now? I believe the meeting is over.”

Stephen stood as well, the triumphant look in his eyes was visible to everyone as he began to walk towards you, pulling out his sling ring as he went and sliding it on.

“Of course, my dear.”

He opened a portal to your shared rooms right behind you. Once he reached you his arm came to wrap around your waist, pulling you close to his side as he smiled at you.

“Oh and Stark? Do refrain from making remarks about my wife in the future.”

“I didn’t know you had one!” Tony defended himself. Which was true.

You smirked at him. “Well, now you do.”

With that you stepped through the portal. Though you couldn’t help but glance back one last time, if only to catch a glimpse of their still stunned faces.

Good thing your husband had a flair for the dramatics just as much as you did.

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/750480278369222656/hate-to-intervene-on-the-discussion-about-the?source=share

sorry late replyy ahh ok I cant believe i just forgot about that part. I litterally wrote out the whole transcript after watching it in my docs and somehow forgot that Tommy wasn't being genuine there. My bad. You're right. Also, with Punz getting closure you've swayed me, I didn't interpret it like that before genuinely.

About the nuke not going off and the no reset, I think the bit at the end showed that both dream and tommy were going to work together, not exactly become friends. I think regardless of their anger with each other, lack of genuine apology, and different methods. They would've of found a way to compromise on how to 'fix the server' I've seen some people theorise that Dream would have gotten rid of the revival book and given up asap. And then Punz would want to stick to the plan and ditch Dream. I mean I don't know entirely about that. It makes it sound like Punz only cared about the book when on so many occasions he has defended Dream. No idea what will happen with the book. Dream didn't believe it was too late anymore, and was relatively open to change, But he is going to take a while to come into terms with what happened, like you said it would take time. maybe the compromise is using the book sparingly but i guess that ruins the point

tommy and tubbo are morally against the revival book and would never agree to go by those methods and majority of the server probably agrees with them except foolish, potentially sapnap since he had the death book, and quackity who wanted the revive book but he'd never work with dream and theres others that I'm forgetting. tommy going back to causing problems?, I agree with however I could see him being more perceptive of the people around him, and avoiding dream now that he realizes dreams human, maybe Im gullible but i interpreted his actions in the final stream as feeling empathetic even though not apologising properly except for the nuke. Theres also the consequences that tubbo would face for setting off a nuke to begin with, that and the fight with dream xd but ig since theres no reset then dream xd got defeated? idk also what happens to lazar and vikk r they just left dead lol. its like 5am for me

Yooo please share the transcript, I love to study them for writing dialogue.

Yea I mean I do think they would try and compromise and work together in some capacity, but I guess what I was saying was I struggle to see Tommy’s behavior change. Maybe I’m wrong, but the fact that their was not genuine admission of guilt or remorse makes me think that Tommy wouldn’t stop being a menace and hurting Dream if the nuke hadn’t happened and Dream wouldn’t stop trying to stop Tommy with whatever means necessary. Maybe I’m wrong though. I don’t know honestly, there’s a lot of variables at play with two very broken, impulsive and emotional characters. So I’m not sure what would have happened if the nuke hadn’t happened (with Tubbo or XD or whatever as well… that shall remain up to people’s aus and fanfiction). But I don’t think things would change between them as fast as we think. If they ever did apologize to each other, it would take time and healing for that to happen. And like they wouldn’t just magically start getting along. In other words, whatever happened next would be complicated and messy, and probably not work out anyways because some of the other characters aren’t about to just let Dream back into the fold.

Having said that, from my understanding it wouldn’t be that Punz or Dream would give up the revive book (it’s not like they can get rid of it since it’s knowledge lol XD), more so just not go through with their plan to kill everyone or whatever. And I certainly don’t think Punz only cared about the book or would continue with the plan without Dream. They were friends before, Punz isn’t just Dream’s friend for payment or immortality and the revive book. 

But anyways… clingy duo are kinda funny in their anti-revive book stance because they really weren’t at first and honestly as Dream actually highlights in the finale [clip] if Tommy had killed himself, would he have been fine with being in limbo - and Tommy does not answer. I I think they were more against the idea of immortality, but missing the point that people on the server seem to be dying well before getting to more natural causes of death like old age - so basically Death is all good and well if it's not premature (and preferably someone else). Like, literally when he does die a few minutes later, he begs Dream and Punz to bring him back. So, while clingy duo talk all high and mighty about the revive book being bad, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to end up in limbo (despite being more than willing to send Dream there). And do the other server members not agree with the revive book? Like I’m not sure that’s true, I don’t particularly remember people talking about how people should stay dead. In fact, people seem to have forgotten about the book so much so that Sapnap is caught off guard by the book when he and Dream talk after the prison break. (where he then immediately wants to get his hands on it…). So I'm not so sure the majority of the server are really against it... 'But that's just a theory. A dream smp theory! Thank for reading.' ;D

[jemmo]

pat is indeed a very gentle and caring and affectionate person and that's amazing, but I was rewatching ep 9 and I realized that he also carries with him an intense primordial rage that I haven't seen anyone address both here and in the show..

like during the rugby match when he was fighting with wai and his friends had to pull him back multiple times and then again at the bar when he was confronting that other guy, his eyes were full of anger, they genuinely scared me, and then I remembered that he had the same rage-filled expression during the fight scene in ep 5 when he was yelling at wai "this is between me and him"

but despite the anger in his eyes he's never the one to initiate physical violence, and any other person would have, it's amazing how he controls himself

anyway idk where this is going or if you understood what I'm trying to say lol, I just wanted to put this out there cause no one has discussed this and I would love to hear your thoughts, cause I love your takes on the series!

anon bless you first of all for caring about my dumb opinions lol and secondly for giving me the chance to rant about something that always slips my mind but i've so wanted to rant about.

bc i have a couple of things to say regarding this. and the main one is something i've discussed with a couple of people before, and of all things it arose from a chat with @thecookiemonster77 about pat being a cloud guy. no not clouds in the sky, but as in he saves stuff to the cloud whereas pran prefers physical usbs and hardrives, bc he likes to physically hold them and be reassured and know his stuff is safe. pat on the other hand, its like things just work out for him. not to say he's coasted through life on autopilot, he's more just the guy that can miss some lectures and do his homework late but still ace a test. its a combination of natural talent and an ability to think on the spot and kinda bullshit your way through stuff. and we do see this in the series, im thinking of the whole bus stop thing where in the meeting he comes up with an idea on the spot and it works out.

this is also mixed with the fact that pat is not a consequences guy, bc he's never had to face them before. he acts impulsively bc he doesnt think ahead. yes pran leaves him when he gets transferred but pran is the one facing immediate consequences, and you can argue this might be a turning point for pat in that he faces consequences later realising how lonely he is, and this will add to my point later. all this is to say that pat has had things relatively easy, especially is you subscribe to my idea that, after pran got transferred, he kinda accepted and fell into the role his dad was laying out for him more so than he did before, taking engineering at uni, doing the sports he wanted, and most importantly to this point becoming more violent, becoming more focused on respect and reputation, and that manifesting as him fighting a lot to maintain that, which gave him the rep we hear about in ep 1 (also maybe a way to cope or an outlet for expressing his anger at pran being transferred??)

rewatching ep 1 was kinda a trip for me bc pat is so very different in his violence. bc we see him in violent settings all through the series, but he has a different air to ep 1. bc in ep 1 he is fighting for stupid reasons, reasons he doesnt believe in. but that changes afterwards, and thats when we see him in the state you described. and thats down to pran. bc in all the examples you gave, he is fighting for pran, directly or indirectly. he fights wai in ep 5 bc he's getting in the way of the two of them, he fights wai in ep 9 bc wai is being a baby and not working with him, and bc he's frustrated with wai for ignoring pran, and he fights those guys in ep 9 bc he wants to protect wai for pran's sake, as a way to offer a hand of reconciliation. thats why, compared to ep 1, he's so much more serious in these fights, bc finally, after going through life playing his part, doing what his father wants, putting in minimal effort to get rewards, finally he's found something he wants, something he cares for, something he's willing and ready to fight for, to put effort into in order to achieve. and thats pran, thats his relationship with pran. he's finally found whats important to him, so all that untapped energy and drive and passion is finally unlocked, and it manifests in so many ways such as him relentlessly going after pran after they kiss, him wanting to be in prans space all the time, hes cuteness and displays of affection and his want to be loud and open, and one of them is in these fights, where he sees the thing he wants being challenged and disrupted and ruined and he just cant stand it, its not right, its not how it should be, and he just has to fight back.

bc this plays into another element of pat that i headcannon, which is that he sees the world very simply in that he doesnt understand why theres such difficulty and complexity and limits around his relationship with pran, bc what he sees is two people that love each other and therefore they should be together. but when there's all these unwritten rules forbidding it, he just doesnt understand, it doesnt sit right in his brain, and thats why he has this urgency and need to fix it and fix it now.

and im glad you brought up him not initiating violence, bc i feel like apart from ep 1, he doesnt initiate any violence. like yes he may throw the first punch with wai in ep 5, but he doesnt start that scene with violent intentions, they only rise to the surface when wai is actively hostile and provoking. similarly in ep 9, the fight is initiated bc of the dude in the bar being a dick. he may kick him first, but the guy comes at him with a group so he's outnumbered after facing off against him in the bar. thats them initiating hostile behaviour, not pat. and i think this works so well, bc comparing ep 1 to now, you can see that pat has softened bc of being with pran, and that his softer side comes out around pran. but he's still pat, he still jokes around with his bros and he's still gonna have that violent streak, its just that now its more subdued and only reaches its max when something infringes on his relationship with pran. and it also makes sense that pat maybe does have this slight hero complex, not in a negative way, thats just part of his personality. we see it in the way he self-sacrifices for pran many times, losing the bet, laying out his feelings on the rooftop, letting go of things that make him upset like the guitar, being willing to break up so that wai will speak to pran, sitting out of the game so that wai can play etc etc. and its why next ep he's gonna make his big confession to the architecture faculty, bc he just loves submitting all that he is and everything he has to pran, and while that speaks of his love and devotion, its also a little selfish, bc he gets to look cool, he gets to be the knight in shining armour, he gets to be the hero. and that part of him filters in to his violent side. he'll always want to step up when things arent right. pran said it in the hospital, he just has to play the cool guy.

and i could ponder for hours on where this confidence and pride comes from, but ive also rambled enough so i hope that answers your question in a not-so-concise fashion. there's a whole other thing i could rant about with respect to you saying him holding back, and how its indicative of him not actually wanting to hurt people and being reflective of his innate ability to gauge boundaries, both emotionally with pran and in these scenarios where he can gauge just how provocative he can be without stepping over the line and becoming the violent force he only wants to oppose. but this is way too long already so we can all take that idea home and think about it as homework ok class??? anyway thanks for giving me the chance to rant its like my fave thing to do

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I know you normally don't really ask this but how much did you pay for the Merch you got? I mean the birthday (I think it's birthday?) merch costs alone around 70€ plus all the fees. Must have been Hella expensive. (idk how it is for you but I paid triple the price with an unexpected amount custom cost of 25€ for one CD)

Ok, I was sort of debating whether to answer this because on some of my merch posts in the past, I've had a couple of people make comments about my financial situation which honestly kind of upset me bit.

However I'm going to assume this is being asked in good faith so I will answer honestly under the cut.

So please bare in mind, I did not pay for all of the items I ordered at once, I ordered the rings back in November last year, I ordered Shin's birthday set in February and then I ordered the other stands about a month ago and only paid for shipping and customs fees this week (curse you customs fees).

The total price of the items came to around 22000 JPY (£137 or €161), with the majority of that being Shin's birthday set (8800 JPY (£55)) and the two rings ( 7700 JPY (£48))

Honestly the shipping and customs fees ended up being a lot more expensive than I'd hoped/thought they'd be (along with the proxy fees they came to around £140, i.e. they effectively doubled the price of the items) but by the time you've bought the items you're a bit stuck (I will be eating pasta and eggs for the foreseeable future) .

Now, for anyone reading all of this who's now thinking "holy shit you're rich"... please don't. I've had one or two comments like that in the past and I know some other merch collectors have gotten them as well, and like, no matter how benign your intentions, you really shouldn't be commenting on other people's financial status at all, but especially not on their own post when you know they will then be able to see it.

I'm not going to lie and say collecting merch from Japan is cheap (and I feel like the price has gone up quite a bit in the last couple of months in terms of shipping) and I recognise I'm very lucky to be in a financial position to be able to do it but I am certainly not rich. The reason I can afford this sort of stuff is because I do part-time work on top of my actual work (which is also in part why I've been so absent from this blog lately), the only dependents I have are my orchids and I'm generally pretty money conscious when it comes to everything else.

So yeah, in the grand scheme of things, I'm well aware that I'm extremely lucky to have any sort of disposable income but having a small amount of disposable income doesn't make you rich and really should be the minimum if you're working full-time (I know it isn't, but it should be, and we can blame the people who are really rich for the fact it isn't).

There are a lot of things I personally cannot and will probably never be able to do because I doubt I will ever be in a position where I'll be able to afford them (like buying a house or having kids or, to be honest, even having a dog) and that's the reason why I really don't want people commenting things like "you must be rich". My life is and will continue to be incredibly constrained by money and if I like to give myself the illusion of freedom by periodically buying bits of plastic with Shin's face on them, then that's up to me.

Apologies that this last part has gotten so long winded but in light of talking about finances, I kind of wanted to explain why I personally don't want strangers making comments about my theoretical wealth and I doubt any other merch collectors do either.

Also Anon, I understand you're likely just curious so please don't think this is directed at you, I just didn't want to answer with a lump sum and then risk getting any more comments like the sort I've discussed above. I hope you have a good day!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I enjoy your thoughts and explanations on Beatles topics. I would like your take on something. While listening to Beatles podcasts, I appreciate the formation of a new Beatles breakup narrative. I think the emotions and reactions to each other during that turbulent time must be explored to make better sense of the outcomes. Changing Paul’s image is also important and worthy- he is an amazing creative genius, and he should be celebrated for his vast catalogue of music and creation- he is wonderful. I feel, though, that this new narrative is taking his celebration to such a level that the other Beatles, especially John, are being minimized. While I know John most definitely had his issues, his contributions within the band seem to be painted as so small compared to Paul. I understand the reasoning is to shift the balance from the early Beatles break up spin and books, etc, but still… seems like it is very difficult to find many places that treat the two as equals within their relationship. And for all John’s bad behavior, I think some of Paul’s questionable behaviors are underplayed and under-examined (pre-Yoko, I don’t think Paul truly respected the monogamy of their writing partnership for awhile, which isn’t necessarily wrong, but I think there needed to be some serious discussions between the two men about the parameters of their creative partnership; also, I will admit that I am a bit disappointed that Paul didn’t seem to reach out to John in times that it appears John was at his lowest in 67-69). I don’t think either man is to blame, I just would like to see the information more evenly conveyed.

Okay so, I'm not much of a podcast person myself, but I've watched the discussions regarding this and get the general gist of what you're referring to, anon.

I agree with you, but at the same time, you can't do much about other people's biases except contribute to the discussion with your own take. I try to give them both a fair shake, maybe I don't always manage, but it's the best I can do.

Regarding John's contributions being minimized: So, I don't think he's minimized more than George or Ringo, but I think one thing is that John's contributions are kind of less… quantifiable than Paul's? That isn't to say they're better or worse, but it's easier to point to Paul specifically seeking out new sounds through the London art scene and bringing them to the studio and also, I'd say, songwriting has clearly always come easily to Paul, whereas John went through periods of writer's block, which is a thing that sets them apart. (Again, this is not a comment on the quality of the songs themselves, mostly I think, when looking at the facts, Paul fits the archetype of a "classic genius" more closely).

John's songwriting, to me, can't be easily labelled, and it's easier to simply point to his most innovative songs than describe what exactly he contributed in a more general way, if that makes sense? All this to say, I think that their differing approaches to "trying something new" is one of the reasons why, ever since the world discovered how much of a driving force in the Beatles' music Paul was, his contributions may have been given more limelight; they're easier to describe.

I will say it absolutely pisses me off when John's contributions are minimized in ways that paint him as lazy and gloss over the serious mental anguish he was going through during the late 60s.

I agree with you, the two clearly didn't communicate well. I think that's down to both of them, but I actually think here on tumblr they're both treated more or less equally, IDK some John or Paul girl is gonna jump me for saying that. I also think we have to be careful in how we assess Paul's reaction to John's issues, because we're coming from a place of MUCH better understanding of how mental health actually works. And IMHO John himself didn't have the words to describe what he was going through at the time ("I don't know what's the matter with me" as he wrote in a letter to Cyn) so it's hard to fully judge Paul for being in over his head.

(I made a post in relation to John's issues and also how Hunter Davies observed them a while back that's slightly related to this. Mostly, I think the quotes might give a good idea of how people at the time viewed things like depression.)

All I think you can do is add to the discussion with the points you think are under-discussed, in the end :)

[undertaleartistshit]

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186284/chapters/60573760#workskin

Aaand the next chapter of my fanfic is out! Btw, does anyone know how to put it under a cut? Cuz idk how 👀

____________

Chapter 2: Morning Meeting

The loud, repetitive beeping of the alarm shook Ink out of his slumber. He didn't dare open his eyes, his head felt too groggy and hazy to even think about properly waking up, however his alarm didn't fail its job of annoying him awake. Despite having no true emotions and having to rely on bottles of paint to feel, Ink made it day to day acting - almost - like a normal monster. He was happy, sassy, bright, he got annoyed *very* easily, and... he was forgetful. Was that an emotion? Ink didn't know, no one ever told him. No one explained exactly what feelings were to him. Since he FELT forgetful, he just assumed it was a feeling everyone got, just like happiness or sadness or whatever else.

Ink opened his eyes to a ceiling marbled silver and gold and walls filled with papers and ideas, sketches mostly. Color peeked through every few inches, giving the room an incomplete feeling and giving Ink the adequate motivation to get up. He hated incomplete things, hated the way it made his head ache and his spine tingle and his chest tighten. He switched the alarm off, wincing at the bright red colored numbers. 6:30. He slid his legs off the bed onto the hardwood floor, not bothering to make the bed. By his logic he was going to sleep in it again in a few hours and felt no reason to waste time on tidying it. Although it was quite contradictory to his hate of incompletion, Ink just didn't have the energy to care about the bed. It wasn't like magic or a drawing; sometimes it doesn't do what you want it to. Some days the fabric is just wrinkly, for example.

He stood up slowly, careful to not jostle his skull too much, and wove his way through the stacks of notebooks and papers and whatnot, careful not to knock anything over as he made his way to the door, the only think uncovered by paper. He took his sash off of the hanger set off to the side and made his way through the house to the living room. It was empty.

Ink was then hit with the memory of the previous night, realizing his mistake far to late.

Meanwhile, Blue was already awake in his tidy room, silently scribbling away ideas and plans at his large desk. He rarely needed sleep and he considered himself lucky, for the most part. He had only slept 3 hours the night before, but he didn't dare go to the kitchen or turn on any significant light source, in case Dream was awake. Dream was like an older and overprotective sibling, however Blue refrained from considering Dream a brother.

He wrote down idea after idea, answer after question, in beautiful cursive handwriting. He was almost done when a soft alarm went off in his pocket. He took out his rather modern phone, shutting off the buzzing immediately. He sighed softly, looking at the time. 6:30 already. Unlike the other Star Sanses and despite what people thought about Blue, he preferred to keep his phone on a dark setting and color scheme. In fact, most objects in his room where either a soft neutral color or a darker color. His eyes didn't burn that way.

He stood up, putting his pen down and pulling out a sweatshirt to wear instead of a tang top. It reminded him of his battle body. He never put it on anymore. He was pretty sure he burned it or at least tossed it. In the past. He shook his head, pulling the grey article of clothing over his skull and left the room soundlessly. He wasn't in the mood to get snapped at by either of his teammates, and no amount of them saving him could put him in the mood for that.

He stopped before going into the living room, taking a second to stop and self reflect. He was still riled up from being kidnapped just two days ago, plus last night's argument between Dream and Ink, and he needed some time to calm himself. He couldn't go into battle like this or even simply have a civilized discussion without his survival instincts kicking in. He had to tell Ink and Dream about it but he had no idea how the two would react. He wanted to put it off but if something happened than he would have no choice. Despite this, he decided to wait.

Blue casually strolled into the room, sitting down besides Ink on the couch, who seemed to be just... blah. "Mornin' Blue," Ink mumbled with a sour biting tone. "Good morning, Ink. Did you sleep well?" Blue inquired softly, keeping his naturally attention seeking voice low. Ink let out a 'hmpf', and let his head flop backwards. "I got sleep but there was no quality to it, if you understand what I mean." Blue didn't quite know what he meant, but he nodded believably anyways.

Dream suddenly walked into the room with a bright and happy pace. "Up and at 'em you two! We have things to do today." Ink groaned rather dramatically, and Blue sighed in frustration. Blue was generally a bright and happy person, but... today he was just so out of it. He was recovering, for Christ's sake. He wasn't happy about being kidnapped at all, and he had a lot on his mind lately.

But, being him, Blue reflected a bit on what the other two are dealing with. First off, they were immortal GODS who needed to protect and help the millions of AUs out in their Multiverse at any cost. That was already almost a good enough reason to spare them a lecture. And Blue could see why having an active mortal ally would be stressful to deal with, especially when going up against the Dark Sanses, who are by far the most dangerous beings out there. The two Gods had to watch their FRIEND get manhandled and get beaten within an inch of his life every single time they went out to fight. It must be hard on them. But Blue had to really wonder for a second. If they cared so much about him, why would they leave him to get kidnapped? The way it happened was quite stereotypical.

Before Blue could start becoming self conflicted, and start another argument within himself, a screeching ringing startled the three skeletons out of any security and peace they'd found in the last few minutes. Dream flinched harshly and wiped his head to the side and glared at the telephone with an intensity that could slice diamond. Blue had a deep blue bone club materialized in his hand in an instant, his stance tense and ready to strike at a moment's notice. Ink had his paintbrush in hand, his eyes already red, pointed and alert, his body language radiating an aura that could startle the most conditioned soldier.

But it was just a telephone call. After a few moments of just sitting there staring daggers and curses into the poor phone, Blue huffed and flopped back down on the couch with a soft thud and dissipated his club. Ink relaxed soon after, not dismissing his brush yet, and Dream grabbed the phone swiftly, not wasting another second. "Hello?... Uh, yes, we have plenty of time... Yes, we're all here toge..." Dream trailed off and his eyesockets widened, a glimmer of happiness dancing across his face. Blue and Ink looked curiously at their teammate, the two sensing either mischief or pure and utter relief and joy coming their way. Or maybe both.

"OHMYGOSHYESI'LLTELLTHEMASAP" Dream blurted, looking at Blue and Ink with a stupid wide grin. "Core found a lot of useful information about the concert thing. They said that they are actually pretty proud of their work!!" Ink cocked a bone brow in confusion and spoke with a cautious tone. "It's great they found that but... what do you mean that they're 'actually proud'? Core loves all the things that they help with."

Blue looked at the two skeletons with a tired glance. "Nevermind that Ink, make a portal already," Dream snapped and quivered with excitement. Ink rolled his eyes and and stood up with his brush, making a portal to Core. Core took a step into the room with a stack of notebooks, binders, and papers and smiled politely. "Nice to see you all again. I have some useful info."

The Star Sanses all smiled softly, except Dream, who was practically vibrating with pure euphoria. "Please sit down on the couch, Core!" Dream grinned as he ushered the monochrome seer to the couch. Dream wedged his way between Ink and Blue, hissing at the latter quietly to scoot. He patted the remaining space besides him for Core, who smiled brightly and laid their stuff out on the empty coffee table in front of them.

Blue blinked a bit, listening as Core started to explain and habitually ignoring Dream's rude gesture. It wasn't a full on conversation, so it was somewhat easier for Blue to follow. Everyone settled in, patiently listening. "So," Core began.

"I have gathered some information about the concert, and although it isn't much to go off of, it's enough to give an idea about how... well, in honesty how thought out this entire event is. First off, general stuff. The place is set in an empty AU, titled "\\\\\tale" and has 3 fixated portal ports, presumably for crowd control. It is accessible by every AU, which may be a problem with culture clash and whatnot. And the date and time is pretty straightforward, maybe they rely on people to translate timezones? We may need to do our part in sending out important points to others if that's the case. The music selection will mostly consist of EDM, house, alternative rock, electro, and remixes of all sorts of other things. Any more info is in these files here."

Ink interrupted quickly. "Uh, I've never heard of \\\\\tale. What is it?" Core hummed for a second, than reached towards a binder, flipping through organized pages filled with notes and a greyscale color spectrum. After a while, Core ran their finger across a line or two, their lips moving ever so slightly in sync. "Oh, it's just an empty copy. Nothing dangero-"

Ink coughed, and pushed away from the three on the couch, and puked putred black ink all over the light colored carpet. Blue made a somewhat frustrated, somewhat skeptical grunting sound, and raced to the closest closet to grab cleaning supplies before the ink stained the carpet. Well, badly, anyways. Dream rushed over to Ink, holding him up a bit while Core sped off to the kitchen with a pitiful "oh dear".

Core scurried back to the living room with a rag and a glass of water in tow. Blue waited until Ink was safely seated on the couch before he began cleaning the carpet vigorously, spraying anti-stain detergent onto the pale flooring, and not holding back with scrubbing. This almost reminded him of the honey-stained floors of his bro's... Blue resisted the urge to knock on his head to erase those past-thoughts out.

Ink rubbed his head, mumbling a soft apology. "Uh..." Ink started slowly. "What were we talking about again..?" Blue sighed, and muttered quiet annoyed curses to himself. Before anyone else could react, Ink glared at Blue, albeit hazily, and he growled defensively. "What's *your* problem..?" Blue glanced up at Ink with a blank expression. "Ink, I'm sorry, but the last few days have been a bit hard on me, and you and Dream as well. I didn't want to deal with your... uh... condition, so to speak on top of everything else."

Ink paused, his facial expression unreadable. Then, slowly but surely, it twisted into confusion. "What the heck happened? And you mean the puking thing right?" Blue sighed and inquired with a gentle but firm tone, balancing between patient and angry, "Do you remember ANYTHING about the concert?" Ink's eyes narrowed in suspicious perplexity, and he shook his head. Blue huffed, picking the cleaning supplies back up and placing them back where they belonged.

Dream sighed softly, putting his hand on the back of his fellow immortal. "Ink, I'll fill you in on what happened." Blue sat down in his spot, Core sitting down next to the former. Ink stared at Blue for a second, as Blue stared at nothingness with an exhausted expression. "Blue...?" Dream asked after noticing his teammates vacant air. Blue looked at the people on the couch with him, and slowly voiced his concern. "We need to work on Ink's memory." Ink looked somewhat offended, but before Blue could elaborate his reasoning, Ink blurted out in outrage.

"Yeah, you think I haven't tried?! I've tried taking notes, sending it on my phone, using connections to things or whatever!" Blue blinked at the outburst, surprised Ink got furious about such a thing. He wasn't exactly a self conscious person... maybe feelings from the fight with Dream last night were putting pressure on his already poor self control. "Well, uh... maybe there's something we haven't tried yet..?" Blue suggested. Blue felt rather helpless. Maybe he should have waited until Ink was filled in on the situation before pointing out the age-old nuisance that plagued his mind.

Ink scoffed, averting his eyes from Blue, with a shaky hiss. "Even if there were alternatives... I don't want to hear them right now. I. Don't. Care." Blue stiffened at the tone, that phrase always seemed to bring back memories after all. He took a deep breath, and-

"Ink, please calm yourself!" Dream begged. Blue blinked and nodded in agreement. "Please?" Ink glared at Blue and Dream. An eternity of silence and harsh tension passed. There was only hostility and anger in Ink's gaze. He was truly offended that Blue thought that it was an easy thing to fix.

Blue was... not in a good mindset. He wanted to smack Ink for not using his brain, he felt like crying or screaming. He wanted to snap at the others for not prioritizing such a huge problem that really needed to be fixed. He was so frustrated and stressed, and he was just so overwhelmed. He was sad and hurt that Ink turned on him so fast as well.

Dream and Core sat helplessly as Ink continued with his rant. "You know what? NO!" he screamed at Blue, grabbing his upper arm with a steely death grip. Dream gasped, reaching out to Ink to make him stop, but Ink pushed him back down. "Dude what the-" Blue panicked. It was too familiar. Too close. Too parental.

Core sat uselessly on the couch. They were worried out of their mind, as well as Dream, but they simply didn't know any of the skeletons, besides Ink, to do anything for them in the situation. If they said something, they were truly worried about the repercussions that would stem from Ink later on.

Blue struggled to get away from the Protector's angry grasp, his mind tittering between pure panic and a sense of normalcy. Ink dragged Blue to a back room. Dream sprinted after the two other skeletons before jumping and holding Ink in place. He could sense that all Ink wanted to do was to hurt Blue, and it made Dream *sick*. Blue released himself from Ink, running to his room before he had the chance to get caught again.

"ALL I WANTED TO TO WAS TALK TO HIM IN A SEPARATE ROOM!" Ink screamed at Dream and he tried to struggle out of his companion's grip. Dream held on tighter and said in a calming voice. "No, you didn't. You wanted to hurt him all because he wanted to get rid of your memory problem. He didn't know it would offend you." Ink still struggled, although too a much lesser degree. "C-c'mon Dream! That was a horrible time to bring it up though! Give me some credit here!" Dream squeezed tighter. "You don't deserve credit here, Inky. Calm down, please." Ink stopped struggling, and began to melt into the tight grip. "I... I'm so sorry..." he whispered. "You need to apologize to Blue, not me. But I forgive you anyways! And, uh, give Blue a minute to cool off before talking. He's probably really mad." Dream released his hug, and looked at Ink as Ink smiled. "Ok.."

The two walked back to the living room where Core was sitting. Dream was beginning to shake as he sat down on the couch, and Core noticed. "Dream..?" Core asked fearfully. "I'm fi... fine..." The sentence started out confident, but then Dream shivered and collapsed on Ink, who was beside him. Ink flinched, as he started to panic as well. "Uh??" Ink's confused voice rasped. "Oh. Uh. Dream probably passed out because of the abundance of negative emotions," Core commented calmly. "It would make sense after all."

Ink nodded, getting up after shrugging Dream off of his side onto the couch so that he was laying where Ink was formerly sitting. Core got off of the couch, lifting Dream's legs up and helped Ink shift Dream's unconscious form into a seemingly comfortable position. A blanket was draped over Dream, and the Guardian of Positivity's golden crown was removed and placed on the table.

Meanwhile, Blue laid on his bed, experiencing one of the worst panic attacks he's ever had. He was in the past, and the present and future paid him no mind.

~~~[]~~~

Hate, worry, apprehension, fear, anxiety, panic, frustration, anger, nervousness, sadness, and betrayal.

Nightmare's single resting eye opened from his slumber. He took a deep breath, relieved at the singular negative emotions coming from an unknown source. He stood from his simple bed, leaving and walking towards the kitchen, where his fa-... minions were eating breakfast.

"Mornin' Boss!" Cross grinned. "Good morning everyone," Nightmare greeted, walking to the coffee machine, by which Horror was leaning on the counter, his singular eyesight fixated on the filling pot. "What's gotten you up so early?" Horror inquired, slowly. He was never a quick speaker, and the gang respected that. "You're one to talk," Killer snickered. Everyone responded with various levels of laughter and chuckles. "Well," Nightmare began. "I woke up because there was a huge influx of negative emotions from some random unknown place. And I have a feeling that if we go there, we can really fuck up whoever has those feeling, y'know?"

Dust grinned creepily. "Soo you're saying this isn't a slaughter, but a torture?" Nightmare chuckled, "That's one way of putting it. I have the coordinates so we can go right after breakfast. I've never seen code like it before though, we should be careful." All the Sanses agreed, as they began to cook and sip on their preferred drinks.

Little do they know...

[chenoehi]

This account who's posted a couple of times in the jikook tag lately? shootersforjk? A self-identified OT6 and Taehyung anti. They are a pot stirrer, they tag vk, other ships, they shit on Taehyung, they get non-shippers and tkers pissed. Receipts will follow because I'm not going to be called a liar again, other people who are concerned like myself and I are not going to be made to feel like we're exaggerating the truth, and no one is going to tell me I'm promoting sheep mentality and setting a mob on anyone without some facts to back it up.

This behavior? What OT6s, akgaes, and people who put their bias or ship above everything and everyone else do? This is only going to affect us and the boys negatively because it absolutely ruins the fandom. It already is ruining the fandom.

Unpopular opinion time: I apologize if I offend anyone, but I and other people are getting tired of the jikook fandom overlooking problems within our own section. We spend so much time defending ourselves from antis it's really easy to forget there are troublemakers EVERYWHERE. And people have to take responsibility for what they are supporting.

It is not good enough for some of you to say, "If it was coming from a Jimin anti," or

"If it was coming from a tker I would have criticized them more/called them out/reported them/been all over it."

That is the height of hypocrisy, it is ugly, and it makes our side of the fandom look very bad. It makes us no better than them. This is something I really feel strongly about because after being on Twitter (and I know a lot of you stay away from it) now I see more of what goes on and let me tell you guys something.

The tumblr bubble phenomenon is real and the Jimin/jikook bubble on tumblr is real too. I feel like I've been somewhat brainwashed by tumblr in a way after taking mini breaks. I see much more negativity and hate from within the fandom and outside the fandom that is spread to ALL the boys much more evenly than what it may seem like in the bubble. I don't disagree on most points, I do think JM gets the most hate from within the fandom, but outside the fandom? From antis? It's not so simple.

And guys. This Park Bo*um thing? I have my thoughts about it but it has taken a life of its own both here and on Twitter. The way I've seen this used as a means to bash Taehyung, and you know what's really funny guys?

I've never heard of it until now. It wasn't until PB was in the bangtan bomb that this has become a "thing" that I've seen. So many people I know didn't even know he was in a cult or anything about what they do.

I find the whole timing of this, it being used against Taehyung to bash him, call him names and things we shouldn't call him because we know nothing about their personal lives in reality, especially him, all at the same time everyone is raving about jeonlous and the jikook moment.

I'm highly suspect guys and just a touch disgusted because where was all this when people found out over a hear ago PB was in a cult and the media reported it and he's been tweeting religious things for idk who knows how long.

Where was it all?

I don't support anyone using something to bash on another member just because they think it makes their ship look better and I think that's been a motivating factor behind a lot of it, beyond the actual sincere concern many of us have who just found out about it. I'm sorry if that's an unpopular opinion. I'm not comfortable with the PB situation either, it makes my skin crawl. But watching that video? I got the feeling TH and PB maybe aren't as close as they used to be, that seemed obvious to me and a lot of other people saw the tension too. The whole thing was weird, all of it.

The amount of pjms who dislike Taehyung because of his solo stans is staggering. The amount of OT7s who dislike the jikook fandom because of the constant feud between shippers is staggering. No one likes Jimin solo stans. Other shippers like yoonkook, minjoon, sope, vmin? They despise taekook and jikook because of how we all act. They really do. They like the ships or the pairings but they can't stand what the fans have become.

Back to the point of the post. Here are the receipts, because no one is going to accuse me again of promoting a mob mentality w/out facts or suggesting that I or anyone else who is upset about this is lying, only because you're willing to overlook toxic things for a jikook/Jimin blog, outright lie about ever seeing anything, then contradict yourself in black and white in a follow up post.

I doubt this account will delete their posts like some big accounts have because they're just an attention seeker and love the drama and want to keep the posts up because it makes them feel relevant, so anyone can go to their @ and see what I'm talking about.

But, if anyone wants to be lazy, bury their head, or just lie and say they haven't seen anything and "it didn't happen in front of me oh iddkkkk" well here you go. No excuses. These guys don't deserve that.

Oh, and if anyone is wondering why I didn't tag their @. I blocked them and I am not engaging in anything some of you may consider a "conversation." If you want to be self-righteous and think I should be open to that, you're welcome to feel that way. I'm welcome to say where you can step off, too. Most people talk about a devil but they don't talk to him. Same thing. I'm not about to engage myself with hate, negativity, and toxicity that I know comes from a sick place. If someone makes a mistake and regrets it and they apologize and they're sincere that's a different situation, I have no problem forgiving someone for a mistake. If we never forgave anyone we'd be miserable people. The blogs I've been discussing here lately? They're the miserable ones. They're the ones who say things for attention and out of obsessive love no matter the harm it causes, and it does cause harm. I refuse to let it slide and continue to ignore it like some of you.

Receipts.

This was the 'normal' jikook post they made recently that had a ton of notes. But anyone notice how they tagged the opposite ship to create drama? Anyone notice the contempt in their tone?

The most recent post. Again, everything they say, they say it to provoke.

As for the Taehyung hate and OT6? OT6 is clearly in their bio description. It's how they identify themselves. I'll just let you see the posts for yourselves.

[lovenotesuggestions]

~∆~okay so I guess this is kinda urgent cause like I'm so ugh but anyways. I've been in love with my best friend for a year. He used to like me but we had a little falling out but then we rekindled the relationship and yea. anyways last week on Friday we went to watch Shazam and we were the only ones there. he knows I like him and we were like messing around like my head in his shoulder, him kissing my hands and forehead. we even did the cute little forehead and nose touching thing. he says he

~∆~ doesn't know how he feels and doesn't know if he likes me cause he likes me or if he's just lonely (he's very honest) and I get that but he's usually a very hard and angry person and the fact that I've seen that side of him multiple times idk. we used to mess around, like fwb but I told him I couldn't cause feelings and he understood. I just idk what to do. hes trying to figure it out and I want to help but I can't but like even if he likes me he doesn't want to date because he's not in the

~∆~ right mindset. I'm sorry this is so long I just idk anymore.

Don’t worry about this being long, and I’m sorry for the late response. 

I understand why you this situation has you feeling this way - it sounds confusing. But by the sounds of it, there isn’t a lot that you need to do here - you’ve done your part and you’re doing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and now it’s just down to him to figure out how he feels. That might take some time, so be patient with him - feelings are confusing. 

If you feel like him giving you these kinds of affection that could be construed as romantic when he’s not in the right place personally for a relationship are making things worse for you, it might be a good idea to set some boundaries in terms of that physical affection. Doing that kind of stuff when you want it to mean more than it does can just hurt more because it sometimes feels like you’re being led on, so that might be a discussion worth having with him, depending on how you feel about it. 

It sounds like the two of you are very open and communicative with one another, and that’s good - that will hopefully help you keep things running smoothly between you and prevent anything from causing hang-ups. 

Aside from that, I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do other than try to come to terms with just staying friends and trying to be grateful that you have him in your life, even if it’s not in the way you want, because there’s nothing you can do to make him like you or be in a good place for a relationship, obviously. 

I’m sorry there wasn’t more that I could say, and I hope you feel better soon 💗

[janedoe-ing]

had a weird-@ss dream

i think this might be contributed by my previous story where i talked about having crushes and someone to love and shit. ok so here's how the dream went, so i was with auni, dayana and apat i think?? and we were at the mrt station or something (in the dream it looks like it), then we stopped for awhile to see where we wanted to go next, yet in a sudden, i felt somebody, like A GUY hugging me. i was so shocked and it turns out to be my abang angkat (he was my babysitter's son back then in jb) hugging me tightly like ??? ＼（〇_ｏ）／

the way everybody there just somehow stunned like why are these people be hugging each other IN PUBLIC lmao and he was with his friends too?? like???? i was like, "eh abang ipan kat sini?" (ye nama dia irfan 💀) and he was like, "oh haah, abang otw pergi uni ni".

p/s: he is A LOT older than me, i think when he was in f4, i was 6-7 years old?? and he studied in U*TM

so i was so confused why he was taking the mrt and stuff because as far as i knew that he studied in U*TM for both his degree and masters (irl true fact) yet he said that he is going to taylors... which is basically where we're coincidentally going too... i think we were trying to see auni's room if i remember it correctly...

ok skip skip suddenly a new scenario, i was set up to get married (AT 19) with like a guy who i never knew who he was, and was basically introduced only by one word of his name. it sounds super malay i swear, and i was pissed as hell because everyone kept intruding into my life matters like it was nothing.. like who are you to set me up without my permission?

suddenly i got to know his face and stuff i think a few weeks before our marriage date?? like we have to meet 2-3 times and his face is super familiar. like i've seen him somewhere, and surprisingly he is a biracial kid, i think mixed with arab or idk wherever that is but yknow that region. told him he looked familiar, and it turns out he is the model in h&m that i used to see on the ads??

ok fast forward, a day or two before the date, suddenly i got to know that my dad doesn't know about anything of this, which ofc made me pissed off because i thought they (my mom) have discussed this together but i should have known better. it was impossible to not let him know bcs my dad is basically my wali?????? istg and i remember that we had to postpone the date a day late?? and i remember my family and friends are coming to the place for like a bachelorette party or something ITS SO WEIRD I SWEAR

till then, the rest is unclear since ive woken up a few times and tried to fall asleep again but it didnt work HAHHAAH but i do remember people spamming my ig dms congratulating me and shit but more of a 'eh-awal-gila-kau-kahwin' type of situation 💀

[amjustagirl]

Nikkiiii !!! i've said this before but i'll rephrase in case it becomes more comprehensible, YOUR BRAIN IS VERY SEXY.

in all seriousness, the fact that you like your characters only proves that you aim to write good and enjoyable pieces instead of writing for the sake of posting, no matter how uninspired and unfaithful to the characters the work might be.

and that is precisely why you're one of my favourite authors here AND IT'S NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION !! you have authenticity and it shows. so no, it is not shameless to enjoy your characters when they're beautifully written !!

my trip it's ,,, i don't know how to describe it, im currently camping in the middle of a forest, on a god forsaken island, on the other side of greece so it's uhhh interesting? i come here every year to enjoy the nature, mediate, reflect on myself, and set goals for self improvement before i go back to a year of intense studying 🤧

almost everyone comes here for the same reason, a small community is set up every may and people come and go until september. i'll be hitchhiking my way to natural hotsprings and waterfalls for ten days, so i'd say that this is bliss! but this kind of more primal, i guess you could say, situation isn't for everyone so i'll just say that my trip is interesting instead :>

no no no girl you're doing amazing !!

even in irl situations most dialogues we have aren't exactly the profound type but isn't that okay? to talk about seemingly unimportant things i mean, it's like 'love knows not it's depth'. the same way negative things that get swept under the rug end up pilling and can even dissolve a previously good relationship, conversations about 'nothing seemingly substantial' can grow into the substance of a relationship when shared between the right people, me thinks.

and now that i've said me thinks, i forgot to mention something very important earlier, MIYA KAIYO SUPREMACY ME THINKS !!!

kaiyo and atsumu though 🥰🥰

truth be told reader chan and i both share the anxiety and overthinking thingies, so i can't wait to read the next chapters and witness at least SOMEONE making some progress and shake these off, even if it's just with hot mr. Perfect Shinksuke

ahhhh i mean isn't it natural that he did ????

take care love ♡ i admire you for even trying to skate tbh, just give me a cup of coffee and a book and let me vibe, i can't get behind more athletic activities :(

pretty much already replied this even though i wasn't asked to lol, i'm doing well !! im enjoying my vacation but i also want the days to pass faster because i'll be moving out of town next month and it's exciting !! you find me in my usual paradoxical mindset tbh

ellie!!! thank you bb!! yeah i feel like an indulgent parent to my characters sometimes - i love them so much, but then i wonder whether my love for them is misplaced HAHAHA. and yeah no it's a matter of personal honour to never publish works that i'm personally not happy with (hence why the osamu installment of storm chaser is still in limbo LOL).

oh on another note - yeah it's something i struggle with, writing reader insert characters with strong personalities of their own. i can't ever write blank slate characters (or unrealistic characters for that matter, yknow the characters that sit around the house all day and wait and cry when their hq bfs come home late fr work) but sometimes i wonder if ppl don't want me to write personalities into my characters cos it makes it harder to relate to them? idk. something i grapple with from time to time.

HAHA it's actly so much fun writing both kaiyo and the reader in this fic cos they're pretty different but yet they're such good friends and continually support each other! personally i feel like the reader here is a lot more relatable - she's a bit like yachi in the overthinking department, and she's obviously anxious despite being v competent in her own right. also, *waggles my eyebrows about her progress w dear shin-chan*

omg greece....you know i grew up reading the corfu trilogy by gerald durrell and i've had a hankering to just spend a whole month kicking back and enjoying the greece countryside so im exceedingly jealous but happy that you're enjoying yourself, bb!!! i love the food i love the culture (even tho i just spent a couple of days on santorini and athens) and when travel reopens i defo wanna explore more of greece! in the meantime, take care and rest and recuperate!!! it's so exciting to hear you have so many things lined up ahead!!!

[not-poignant]

This might be a little personal but do you have any tips on how to deal with bad days? I've been struggling with depressive episodes lately being so tired I can't get shit done.

Hiya anon,

Depressive episodes area the worst. I don’t know if I have any real tips, since the thing that helped me most with my depressive episodes were an effective anti-depressant (and I struggled for like 20 years for one of those, since most anti-depressants are ineffective when I take them). And then therapy. And obviously both of those things aren’t actually possible to access for everyone. (And caveat that if you’re feeling suicidal in an actionable way, please call a helpline / hospital or similar, because you shouldn’t have to deal with that level of anguish alone and without professionals).

(Content warning for under the read more: aside from frank discussion of depression and suicidal ideation, I also mention self-harm briefly).

Otherwise... idk, I’ve actually been doing a Chronic Conditions management course lately, over the past few months. And it’s been pretty helpful when looking at the psychological effects of living with chronic illnesses (basically people who have chronic illnesses are way more likely to have anxiety and/or depression, but obviously trying to deal with either of those things when you have chronic illnesses in the first place is really hard).

One of the things I found really interesting, were the underarousal/overarousal cycle, which none of my doctors had ever taught me about before. Underarousal, which leads to depression and depressive episodes is a self fulfilling cycle. Meaning that, if you don’t gently do the opposite of ‘nothing’ you will eventually just get worse and worse. It doesn’t tend to just go away on its own.

However most people think the opposite of nothing is like... too much. Even if they plan for nice things, it’s still too much.

This course has been pretty clear that you have to start small, like... try and do a pleasurable thing a day. That pleasurable thing could be making a cup of tea. That’s it. Not like, writing a book, or making music, or whatever. Just...make some tea. Or coffee. Get up and boil a kettle and put some stuff in it and go lie down again and sip at it and focus on its warmth in your hands and the way it tastes and how it feels to know you did that for yourself. Just...try and do a pleasurable thing every day. It doesn’t even have to feel pleasurable in the moment, it just has to be something that you would have experienced as pleasurable pre-depression.

And if you’re feeling especially daring, try three pleasurable things a day. A whole three!

Anyway, this is just one method of a thousand, but what was most radical to me about it, was that these professors and so forth who are running the course made sure that in an underarousal/depressive cycle, the emphasis is on pleasurable activities and not just ‘activities’ (they do suggest light physical activity at some point, but reiterate over and over again that too many people tend to do too much too soon, and the most important thing is to start little, and to be as consistent as possible, and also patient with yourself when it’s not consistent and to keep trying).

The other thing they suggest is a list of pleasurable things for good days, and a list of pleasurable things for bad days (that shouldn’t have been as shocking to me as it is, but I’d never actually considered this before). So on good days, writing 1000 words, making a playlist, going for a walk, all things I can manage. On bad days, none of them are: but I can probably make a single cup of tea, I might be able to shower, and there’s a chance I can sit outside with an apple and eat it. And telling myself I’m doing these things to help myself feel better again, is actually way more helpful than just making myself a cup of tea mindlessly and not thinking about it.

I mean you don’t feel like doing anything, anon, I feel that, but you took the time to write this message. That’s a big deal. Tbh, it’s one of the things that would count as a valid ‘activity’ in this course. And it would count as a big thing, and not a small one.

As for me, idk, I have like... a vague list of things I like to do when I’m depressed, or things are bad. And also a list of things I try not to indulge. My list might not help you, but I do know that...trying to stick to a regular sleep schedule for me was important, because I have quite severe hypersomnia alternating with insomnia, meaning I can sleep a lot all the time, and then not at all, all the time. And it fucks me up. So now I try and wake up at 9.00am every morning regardless, and then nap once in the afternoon (my chronic illnesses won’t let me stay awake for a while day). Scheduling the nap helps because it gives me something to look forward to if I’m having a ‘tired day.’

Other things are like...trying to get out of my head a bit. I do some OBOD study (Druidry study) because researching about magic and nature sometimes gives me tiny bursts of energy that allow me to think ‘maybe life isn’t so bad’ (i.e. that’s what I do with that tiny burst of energy but sometimes that’s enough lol). I might do some art. I play Stardew Valley a lot - when I wore a Fitbit, that game was the only thing guaranteed to drop my heartrate down by about a consistent 15-20 beats per minute. So it relaxes me and still engages my brain.

Also, for me now, I’m...trying to become more zen about the fact that depression and illness take time. That fixing them is not about a single event you do that feels good, but about hundreds of those events over time. And about maintaining them during the good times. And that’s really hard. I got really close last year to doing some really stupid things to myself (and I already self-harm, so I’m not including that) and coming out of that sort of changed me and the way I think about myself, since I’d always identified strongly as like ‘a person with PTSD’ and that was the first time it was like no, I’m a person with PTSD who has major depressive episodes that need separate, emergency treatment.

Since then, I’ve kind of felt lucky to both a) be alive and b) keep trying to find small things to keep me going (and a year later, feel tentatively strong enough to start ‘scheduled’ work again). I now try and think of it this way: a bad day isn’t actually a bad thing. It’s a normal product of my illness. That’s all it is. I can attach the word ‘bad’ to it and somehow feel guilty I ‘didn’t do enough’ but that’s as absurd and irrational as a person with damaged lungs feeling guilty that their good days didn’t heal their damaged lungs. No, my brain will always be broken, to a point, even with chemical help. My ‘energy’ or ‘good mental health’ days will not heal my brain chemistry. So...now I call them ‘tired days’ or ‘sad days.’ Or I’m trying to, I forget all the time.

Tired days aren’t bad, they’re just there. The most important thing I can do is try not to let them run roughly over my routines, and destroy everything I’ve set up for myself to survive in the first place. So you know - a list of things I can maybe manage on tired days. A care plan. People I can contact (even though I probably won’t). Reminding myself gently that it says nothing about my worth as a person even as I feel I have no worth as a person, even that, itself, is just part of the ‘bad day.’ It’s a symptom of my illness. And then also putting in place a list of things to do for yourself on good days, and I don’t mean like ‘shopping’ or whatever (though those things are important) ->

I mean...if you don’t have energy to maintain your self-worth on the worst days, make a point of spending about 5-10 minutes maintaining your self-worth on the good days, when you have more energy to sustain it. On the good days, take some minutes here and there to look at your care plan, your support network, and see what you might be able to use on the worst days, and what you know you can’t. the worst time to be doing it - that’s the time when I already needed it there to lean on. Like, it will always help more to do that hard work mentally on the days when you have the energy to put things in place for yourself.

And those things might sound easy or simple to people who don’t have depressive episodes and find it easy to snap themselves out of it by like, idk, listening to a cheerful song or something, but anyone who has them knows how hard it is to put these things in place. And I have so much sympathy for that. I wish I could box up some energy and self-care and hope and give it to you anon. The only way I know through this is the slow and steady and not very linear way. Time has helped a lot, and a philosophy of ‘gentleness’ alongside ‘gentle structure.’ (I.e. my alarm in the morning to get me up, but also the gentleness to let myself sleep in 20 minutes).

But something I do know, that gives me hope, is that even with all of this going on, anon, you reached out to someone. You’re still trying on your bad days. You did at least one ‘activity’ that was designed to help you. And that is the very thing - with time, and accumulative effects - that will help you with your depressive episode. It just...unfortunately in the moment, doesn’t lift a person out of a bad day. I wish I did. I mean I really wish it did.

Yeah, I wish I had better answers? Ultimately depression is a whole lot of suffering and almost no energy to deal with that suffering, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I have faith in you, anon. *offers hugs and a blanket fort*