#like id be super scared of crushing that dream for them?

[tiny-chubby-bird]

don't get me wrong, i'm all for cute stories about pregnancy and having children together, but as someone who is like super terrified of pregnancy and wouldn't consider themself as someone who'd make a good parent, i'd loooove to read more fics about... that? either it's an unwanted pregnancy and they're terrified, or the couple talks about having kids and maybe the partner is open to the idea but understands and respects their s/o's fears and wishes. idk.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

8th House Placements : Astro Observations

The passion, the secrets, the occult, and the dire need to be with one another can be strong in this house. The 8th house is a special house where all things dark can be brought to the light on a regular day to day basis. With just yourself, it can be powerful yet vulnerable. Dark yet sexy, chaotic but somehow controllable. Its a pretty interesting house.

HOUSE PLACEMENTS:

Neptune in the 8th house can go through loads of spiritual transformations with their vision/third eye. Like the veil is super thin with them already, however with time they go through a process where it becomes the norm to see pretty strange things. Dreams are always on 10, and theres always a message about secrets/occult knowledge in them from time to time. They could learn things they shouldn't know about people in this house through the process of astral travel & dreams. psychic abilities are usually being an oracle, a seer or medium.

Uranus 8th house can get loads of insight in the most craziest circumstances. Near death experiences can happen but isn't always likely. If this does happen however, they can have extreme eureka moments. Life flashing before their guys and seeing their future. They could suddenly see different ways on how to shift realities. These people may have dreams of quantum leaping, seeing themselves in different dimensions and having experiences where it may feel like 'it didnt happen' to others so they'll keep quiet about it.

Moon in the 8th house individuals can have extreme psychological warfare if they do not come to terms with their shadow. It is a lot harder for these individuals at times however it will become their biggest strength if they look deeper into the subconscious/unconscious for any traumas that need healing.

Sun In the 8th house is truly secretive like no other. With this placement it allows them to be mysterious even when they are opening up to people because their aura is normally shielded from other peoples. This is a natural thing that they do and its not something id say they can really turn off. Their personal power comes from shedding light on the dark things in their reality and this truly scares others with the things they know.

Sun in the 8th house are the children of the underworld, so whatever is chaotic and 'scary' to some its what makes them unique. Truly some interesting people when you meet them.

They dont care to show off as much but still have huge fan bases, lovers, crushes, etc that want to know everything about them. May show you just a DROP of whats going on in their life however it can seem like you know them from that small little detail. ;)

Moon in the 8th house have powerful personas, can sense information from just being in the room. If they're too open to this gift they may start to go crazy a little, because it can be too much information at once. Like an empath (which most are) it can start to be overwhelming to them. This is another way the psychological warfare can happen, taking in too many energies at once from other people while always dealing with the things their currently going through.

Venus and Mars in the 8th House can have loads of jealous people around them, so they'll be pretty closed off from time to time. Once they let someone in its like the person gets crazy obsessed with them. Eventually they start to realize people want to be around them so they can figure them out and see whats so mysterious about them. So another reason why they'll end up being secretive because no one truly wants to know them, just want to experience them to get more information.

Venus in the 8th house can have mimickers trying to play their persona and it truly doesnt work the way they think it does. Can sense when someone is off right away, Mars in the 8th might question for a little but eventually they'll figure out something was off about them'.

Venus in the 8th house individuals can be enticing to be around, their sensual energy exudes to high levels and can make people obsessed with them for a while. They could have a whole fan base just off their personalities alone. Materialistic pleasures can come easily to them if they let go of the need to do everything on their own, its easy to succumb to doing things yourself since people have tried to use you and take power over you from just giving you things. So it makes sense why they would rather be independent than to let others give them things especially money. Could have older partners who can help them achieve a certain lifestyle.

[milkwaydreams]

I'm finally finishing 23.5 and I'm annoyed and need to vent out!!!

I just watched the episode 10 and I'm so mad at Sun. She didn't had rights to outting Ongsa and Aylin to their parents like that.

I understand that Sun's family is accepting and very gentle and open minded, but not all family will be like that unfortunately, and we know that. Ongsa has a hard time since forever pretending to her parents and it's a lot more than just low self-esteem. My mom is very supportive but I'd still be freaking out to introduce her a girlfriend.

And I've seem people saying "Ongsa should have told Sun she wasn't confident in telling her parents yet". She did! Many times, not only with words but with actions too. Sun knows Ongsa well enough to see that, even at Sun's house when they say Ongsa is Sun's girlfriend, you can see that she was shocked and skeptical that they were supportive. And Sun even says it's okay if Ongsa is not ready to tell people about it yet so she clearly sees that Ongsa isn't comfortable in anything yet. If it's sexuality or the low self-esteem, she knows Ongsa needs her time and it's doable knowing her, it takes time indeed to build up courage. It's jot like they are dating for years and she just don't want to tell anyone, she's slowly opening up.

We also need to remember that Ongsa apparently didn't live with her mom so I'd say she would be more scared of her reaction than her father's.

About the exchange program, if my girlfriend quit her DREAM just to be with me, and as a new couple like them (how long are they together?! A month or two?!), I'd be stressed and pissed off too. Ongsa is TERRIBLE with words, everyone knows that, but in this case, it's not even just the words, she was cut off twice in mid sentence so she couldn't properly say what was on her mind that moment. Sun not understanding how Ongsa feels about her quitting her dreams for Ongsa makes me sad.

And also, Sun outting Aylin too... Get it could've have slipped but, it's confusing even for Aylin, she doesn't even know how she feels yet, it's a new emotion and I think we all agree that Aylin has some spectrum or something that got her to box herself up because of the bullying so it's harder for her to understand "humans emotions". But again, it could have slipped, I understand that. But it still made me a bit annoyed🙃

And it's also something that people said "But her parents were so open and supportive with Aylin, she (Ongsa) couldn't have just say it and then Sun wasn't gonna need to"... I don't even know how to put it into words... Like I said, it's more than just low self-esteem, but that makes a big number too. She had a big crush on Sun since the beginning and is always scared of losing Sun cause she thinks she's not good enough. Coming out to her parents it's a big thing, what if they weren't supportive and made her break up with Sun, forbid her to see Sun or something?! I'm sure things like this crossed her mind a lot so I can understand her fear. And her self-esteem is not gonna MAGICALLY gets super higher from night to day, it takes time.

"But she couldn't know if her parents were accepting". Exactly, that could have go both ways, it was 50-50 and thankfully it went to the good, supportive side, but what if it went the other way?!

I understand Sun being hurt because Ongsa was "Pushing her away to US" (again, me sad for her not understanding Ongsa here) and hearing your girlfriend say she doesn't have a partner right in front of her,id be sad and hurt too. But I still don't think she had the right to do that. She could have screamed and complained about Ongsa not being confident in telling her parents in private or something like that but right there, at that moment, it made me really mad.

I just can't understand how people are getting mad at Ongsa for not saying her parents yet and treating it as only her low self-esteem. I understand getting mad at her for saying right on Sun's face that she didn't had a partner. But she was getting ready to tell, Alpha was working with that on her too, she was going to say very soon, not just burped out like that 🥺

Sun has been a really green flag but the last couple episodes, lil things made me feel sad like, for example, it feels Ongsa keeps trying to understand Sun more than Sun tries to understand Ongsa and its frustrating, it's not how it should be.

But anyway, I probably didn't even explained what I wanted to say properly cause I'm sleepy and there was TOO MUCH I wanted to say so it got mixed up, sowy for that.

Still 2 eps to go so I may talk more after those 2 episodes or no, we will see.

If you read this whole venting, you're the sweetest and thank you for "listening" me🤭❤️

[autistic-katara]

@byler-alarmist taking this as an invitation to go off like i’m kicking my feet and twirling my hair and writing in a sparkly pink diary while idk what kinda music plays in the background soooooooo… (warning: due to my habit of going off-topic every 2 seconds this is pretty long so proceed with caution)

imma start at the beginning. basically u guys remember my best friend? the one who i lowkey highkey had a crush on who isnt into boys? anyways yeah he texted me and asked if i wanted to hang out tomorrow (today) and we ended up making plans to go to the city centre to idk hang out and yeah there was the problem that apparently my mum wanted to do like a family day out or smthn but we couldn’t do that cause my sister hurt her foot (look ella, ily and it sucks that that happened to u but also i am so fucking glad i was able to hang out w/ him today instead of the ppl i spend 24/7 with and half annoy me to death) anyways none of that was important so we ended up meeting and getting side tracked for a second again but while i was waiting for him at the train station this random police/security guard/person came up to me and got annoyed at me for having too long shoelaces or something (?) cause he just pointed at my feet and was like “ur laces” and “someone might trip” like ??? who tf are u, my teacher? (they were tied btw just kinda long) anyways yeah that was one of the random weird things that happened today anyways yeah he arrived and oh yeah while we were both on our respective trains there he texted me that he knew a place that would probably sell us alcohol (which considering we’re both 15 and the legal drinking age here is 18 was like definitely super illegal but literally who tf cares) and so yeah we ended up going there but it was a corner shop in like pretty far from the train station so we had to take the subway which omfg it’s so LOUD how tf did i manage to take it as a kid and not have a complete meltdown but yeah we got there and i gave him some money (cause i had way more money on me and he was less scared of getting IDed) and somehow his very obviously underage ass managed to get 2 cans of this alcoholic drink (it wasnt like insanely alcoholic like to quote him one can is “enough to get u a bit tipsy” but like still) anyways yeah we went to a park near there and sat by a tree while we drank it and talked and yeah we ended up talking abt some kinda but not rlly personal but also probably kinda concerning stuff that i’m not gonna mention for the aforementioned reasons but also fanfic and yeah turns out i’m good at writing the stuff he struggles with and hes good at writing the stuff i struggle with so we’re gonna try and co-write smthn at some point •u• anyways yeah also i recently got some new jeans and own some posca pens so have been drawing on them and yeah i brought some of the pens and he drew some hearts on the calf (bcz he couldn’t think of anything else) and yeah so that happened •///• [ur gonna have to endure me cringely emoticon-ing this i’m sorry this is what u signed up for when u let me diaryify my tumblr for a minute] anyways yeah also i seriously cannot handle alcohol well that only had like a tiny alcohol content and after chugging a can i felt like i was in a dream when it came to like movement n shit and i also ended up telling him abt how i used to like one of our mutual friends and thats why i agreed to fight her at his bar mitzvah (yes she was that crush and he was that friend with the bar mitzvah) and yeah apparently i’m the second person to have told him that (the crush thing not the fighting thing but thats just me assuming) anyways yeah after we sobered up a bit n allat we went back on the subway but to somewhere else cause the shops there r cool and yeah anyways finally getting to another actually super important part but we were talking abt like sexualities (specifically in relation to our younger selves // idk i’m not rlly sure how to explain the context so)

and yeah anyways we were talking and he said that “he was ace or gay bcz men” (or smthn like that i cant remember the actual wording) but DUDE HE LIKES GUYS !! (in some way, not sure if he meant he was aroace or gay, or ace or gay but still aro, or if he doesnt did as aro anymore at all, or if it was like hes ace/aroace AND gay, and yeah idk he got confused when i asked “in what way” and i was too high on caffine to find better wording TwT) which means i do actually have some sorta a chance (even if i dont know in what way or how much of one) aksjsjdjdjsks and yeah we ended up looking around some shops n stuff — also sidenote: we had like a lot more physical touch than usual. like he doesnt rlly like physical contact unless hes super close to the person and even tho we’ve been bsfs for like 3 years and friends for like 10 ive been way too scared to see if i’m close enough to him for that but yeah anyways it wasnt like we were holding hands or anything but like he was touching my leg while drawing on my jeans and i grabbed his arm a couple times, stuff like that nd idk maybe it doesnt sound like much but to me it was like everything — and yeah then we ended up going back to the city centre for his dad to pick us up which is when 2 things happened: 1, we were crossing at some traffic lights and he said smthn like “i feel so weird doing this i’m just following everyone else” or smthn along those lines and this random guy neither of us knew was like “dont follow the crowd. be confident” like dude??? 😭 do we know u??? (it was so fucking random) anyways 2, there was this street preacher yelling abt how “there will be 2 resurrections” and to “succumb to jesus” or whatever and i legit doubled over laughing when i realised what he was saying and i think he saw me but b r o literally how can someone do that w/o getting way too embarrassed i literally would not be able to make an announcement that ppl need to get out of here bcz danger incase they thought i was annoying or whatever literally how to they have such little embarrassment anyways sorry, side tangent over. (i’m almost done) and yeah his dad came and took us home and before i got out of the car when they got to my house he said thanks for hanging out with him and that it was rlly fun and I KNOW thats not much but idk just like the way he said it or the fact that he said that to me after that just <3333 and yeah idk sorry this was just like idek how many words of me gushing abt my crush and going on 30 side tangents but fuck you this is what u signed up for when u clicked “read more” so

oh my god so much happened today mutuals can i treat u like a diary for a minute

[theppandaboyyy]

hi so im having a crisis at the moment and really need advice. this post will be really long (probably) and if you dont want to read it thats fine. i just need a space to vent and maybe get some advice from some people.

so i am 16 years old. ever since i was newly 6 years old, i started watching minecraft youtubers. the first one i ever watched was dantdm. i remember feeling so safe and at home when i watched him as a kid. i used to get bullied really badly in elementary school, so when i had a bad day at school or if i really just had a bad day in general and was overwhelmed, i turned to dan’s content. it gave me a space to feel safe when life got too crazy for me. as i got older, i stuck with dantdm for comfort. i started getting really into minecraft, and finding more content creators who liked the same things i did. i remember watching the first episode of dandtm’s diamond dimensions series, and i realized something. THIS is what i want to be when i grew up. i wanted to make content, i wanted to be able to just mess around on a minecraft server with my friends or by myself and people enjoy it. i wanted to make people smile. i even made some stupid vlogs on youtube, just because it made me happy. i went to school with this aspiration, and it got shot down. people told me that since i was born a female, i would never make it. i would never be what i wanted to be. and my little self couldnt understand that because ldshadowlady made it. laurenzside made it. i just couldn’t understand why people were telling me i would never make it as a little girl when some of the people that inspired me were female. so after that, i kept that to myself and went along with every other little girl my age. “i wanna be a vet!” butthat never felt right to me. now as i got to middle school, i was scared to tell people who i wanted to be. i was in my shell, scared to make people see who i actually was. i found my friends over the years of middle school, and they gave me a little bit of the confidence i needed back then to be who i am today. when covid first happened, i was at a low point in my life. i couldnt see my friends, my cousins, my crush at the time, and it mentally killed me. being on my own with nothing to do all day killed me. but, i found my outlet in playing video games. i would play on my dads old systems in my basement, i would play super mario brothers, this one racing game we had, sonic, all the old stuff. and when i wasnt playing those, i was on my dads pc playing roblox with my friends, playing free games on steam, or the sims. i really found my way of getting out my stresses and just havung fun. now around that time, i discovered the dream smp. which at the time, was a new multiplayer server that a couple streamers were on. i watched technoblade first, but because of him u discovered people like dream, sapnap, tommyinnit and tubbo. now i really looked up to tommy and tubbo, theyre only a two years older than me and theyre doing exactly what ive aspired to do since i was 6 years old. i watched their content, watched what they did. i wanted to be just like them. my yearning to be a streamer only grew as i was watching more and more people who were very close to my age grow and succeed at doing what i want to do. now, i have people in my life who have supported me in becoming a content creator, i have the money to buy a gaming setup. i still really, really want to be a content creator. i want to give people, kids, the same safe space that dantdm gave me. i mean when i was overwhelmed, or scared, or had a bad day, they were what i turned to to make myself happy. now as ive gotten older, ive learned so much about content creating and how it can mess with your head if youre not careful. how it can go wrong and not gain any traction at all. but i really, really want to do this. but at the same time, i have another job aspiration i could do. but i know that id forever regret not at least trying to be a content creator. i guess what im here to ask is, what should i do? should i just take the jump and try streaming ? (if you made it this far ily thank you for reading my little rant <3)

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[justsomefluff]

Could I request an Ateez reaction in which the members find out that one of the other members has a crush on their s/o (the other member possibly doesn't know their dating) please and thank you!

Ask and you shall receive!

I made this one so that you have been friends with the guys for a while anyway, so that’s why no one is suspicious of you dating.

Hongjoong:

One day you’re just chillin in the dorms right

It’s about to be movie night!!!

The best night when you have literally the funniest people with you

Once everyone figures out what snacks they need and actually sits down

you plop next to Joongie for some secretive snuggles

But as soon as you sit down, Wooyoung starts yelling about how he wanted to cuddle with you during the movie

Everyone teases him because even you know he has a crush on you (he’s not shy and he has a big mouth so you found out pretty quick)

Since nobody knows that you and Hongjoong are together, you force yourself to go over to Wooyoung instead

It’s almost impossible to ignore your boyfriend’s pout though

He’s staring at you from across the room with the saddest look on his face for like 20 minutes of the movie

you can’t even concentrate, you just wanna go back over there so bad

but you don’t want to expose your relationship just yet

Hongjoong will just have to suck it up for tonight

He does not suck it up, however

after another 15 minutes, he stand up really abruptly and marches over to you and Wooyoung

everybody is watching because no one knows what he’s doing all of a sudden

grabs your hand and pulls you back to his seat

cue more complaining from Wooyoung

“Well we’re together, I'm allowed”

everyone just kind of goes into stunned silence

eventually.... “YOU’RE WHAT”

bunch of yelling from everyone while Joong just yanks a blanket up over the both of your heads

you peck him on the lips and eventually the yelling stops and you can come out to finish the movie

Seonghwa:

possessive mf

but he was the one who didn’t want to tell anyone in the first place

So when Yeosang starts flirting with you, all he can really do is be bitter about it

He watches as you laugh along, obviously not getting that one of your boyfriend’s best friends is coming onto you

You and Yeosang had been talking together for about an hour, just catching up on life and stuff

Seonghwa is getting fed up, no lie

He knew Yeosang had a crush, but he always thought he would be too shy to ever make a move

But all of a sudden Seonghwa feels threatened

he manages to catch your eye across the room and you smile and wave

he just frowns, making you pout and excuse yourself from Yeosang

you head over to him and ask him what’s wrong

He just pulls you into a kiss, catching you completely by surprise

as your eyes flutter shut, his stay open and on Yeosang who is watching with his mouth hanging open

He mouths “sorry, hyung”

Seonghwa pulls away, nods at the younger, and smiles at you

“what was that all about?? What if people saw??”

“don't care anymore”

you don't really question his sudden change of heart

all you can think about is finally being able to cuddle with him even when the boys are around lmao

Yunho: 

(who gave him the right to look so professional here like what)

squishyyyyyyyyyyy

is hanging around the studio one day when he overhears what sounds like your laugh

he’s like “they aren’t even here today wth”

so he goes to find the source and comes across Hongjoong FaceTiming you

he is about to rush over to join and say hi to his love but stops when he hears Hongjoong speak again

sounds like a confession... Yunho’s cheeks get all red and his eyes get a little glossy just because he’s overwhelmed

he sticks around to hear what you say

he knows that you love him but, at the same time, there's a part of him that's really insecure and scared

“Aw, Joongie...that’s sweet and all but...” you’re stalling because you can’t decide if you should tell him the truth

Yunho is literally dying as he waits for your answer

“Joong, I’m with Yunho... we didn’t want people to know but I think this is a pretty good reason to tell you. I’m so sorry”

Yunho lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding

lets a tear fall because he was so so nervous poor thing

he backs out of the room so that he doesn’t hear more

he low-key feels bad about even overhearing that much but at the same time he feels more confident in your relationship 

he shoots you a text later telling you how much you mean to him and everything, but he doesn’t bring up Hongjoong

he knows that you will end up telling him anyway but he doesn’t want you to think negatively of him for eavesdropping

just so happy that you chose him

Yeosang: 

so Yeosang is really confident about your relationship and loves you a lot 

but he's shy about letting other people know

but when he notices that Jongho has been making extra efforts to be near you lately, he doesn’t take it lightly

he wouldn’t be nervous if Jongho knew you were in a relationship

but since he doesn’t, Yeosang is worried that he might try and make a move on you

Jongho had talked to a couple of the other guys about his infatuation with you

but he had suspected that Yeosang also had a crush on you so he had held off

but the other guys told Jongho to go for it, since they didn't know the truth either

So as Yeosang is watching Jongho talking to you one day, he notices that Jongho’s fingers keep “accidentally” grazing yours

He’s getting angrier as he watches

but he isn’t angry at you or Jongho, just angry with himself for being to scared to say anything

eventually, he musters up some courage and saunters over to you and Jongho and takes your hand

right in front of Jongho’s salad

And Jongho is immediately like “crap” and walks away

and you’re super confused because what in the world am I missing what just happened

But Yeosang just kinda giggles and asks you if you wanna go get lunch

San:

now San I think is one to actually get pretty jealous

like if he sees someone trying anything with you, he’s gonna be big mad right away

But it is much more difficult to get mad when it’s Seonghwa who is after you

San is definitely afraid of coming off as disrespectful to his elder if he tries to step in and stop anything

highkey hopes that you’ll say something so that he won't have to

One day Seonghwa actually comes to San

to talk about you

he’s just rambling on and on about how cute he thinks you are, totally oblivious to San’s irritated expression

San is fuming

eventually he’s gonna snap and be like “LOOK BRO WE’RE DATING”

and Seonghwa is like O.O

then San is apologizing like a mad man because he really didn’t mean for it to come out like that

he just legit couldn’t listen to someone else talk about his girlfriend anymore it was infuriating

Seonghwa’s like “...it’s cool, I get why you’d be mad”

then he assures him that he won’t try anything now that he knows about you two

But he also scolds San for not telling him sooner lmao

Gives an apology too just to make his lil bro feel a little better

Mingi:

(MY MF BABYYYYYY)

So, Mingi gets insecure, I bet

When other tall boy, Yunho, also proclaims that you are his ideal type during a revealing round of truth or dare

there is a lot of yelling from the guys, as you are literally playing with them and he just SAID THAT?

But Mingi does not think it’s funny

Suddenly Wooyoung leans over and whispers in his ear

“we are gonna try to get y/n to say she wants dare so she will have to kiss Yunho”

Like it’s sweet that they’re planning to be wingmen for their buddy Yunho but Mingi is so SAD

scoots an inch closer to you and shakes his head at Wooyoung

“why are you pouting, just help us lmao”

he shakes his head again, but Wooyoung has already turned his attention back to the game

finally, your turn comes around and all the guys start making up excuses as to why you should take a dare

“Cmon y/n we just had two truths in a row, pleaseee”

“y/n you gotta pick dare or its not fun”

and you’re laughing and about to give in and ask for a dare when you look to Mingi and he’s making big eyes at you

you cock an eyebrow at him and he leans over to tell you what the guys were planning

your eyes go wide and the other guys are like “MINGI YOU TATTLED DIDNT YOU”

so you turn your head and peck Mingi on the lips in front of everyone

chorus of “oh my god” “woah” and other things

“Sorry, Yunho” but he just shrugs like “it’s cool, Id rather you be with one of us than someone random. even if its not me”

Mingi is smiling again and thats all that matters really and he snuggles you for the rest of the game

Wooyoung:

Wooyoung is pretty well-attuned to things that happen around you

always watching you out of the corner of his eye like a stalker

it’s just cuz he loves you tho

so he notices Mingi hitting on you pretty much immediately

honestly finds it kind of amusing for a little bit

but then little things come up in his memory

fans saying that he was too short for you and that you’d be better with someone else

gets down on himself really fast thinking about that kind of stuff

still watching you and Mingi talking

wants to walk over there and hang all over you until Mingi gets the point

so that is exactly what he does

waddles over and slings his arms around your waist

head on your shoulder

kisses your neck and you squeal because MINGI IS RIGHT THERE I MEAN SERIOUSLY WOOYOUNG

and Mingi kind of laughs it off but he’s a little sad bc he liked you ya know

after Mingi goes away you hit Wooyoung softly on the shoulder and tell him to go talk to Mingi and apologize or something

He agrees but he’s like “you have to give me cuddles afterwards”

who could say no to that? couldn't be me

Jongho:

Okay so you and Jongho are coming back from a group dinner and he sat in the front while you crammed in the backseat with WooSan

halfway through the car ride home, you fall asleep and your head flops onto San’s shoulder

he’s immediately giddy about his crush sleeping on him like his dreams are coming true

Jongho’s like “imma break your dreams like my apples bro”

Woo is giggling because San is being so soft for you and stroking your hair and everything 

Jongho just kinda watches in the rearview as San takes pictures and stuff

But Jongho just purses his lips and tries his best not to say anything

the last straw that finally breaks Jongho’s resolve is when he catches San pressing a kiss to the top of your head

“Hyung, please don't kiss them in front of their boyfriend”

San and Wooyoung look at each other like “are you the boyfriend”

they look at the driver “is he the boyfriend?”

and then their two collective brain cells join together and are like “JONGHO IS THE BOYFRIEND”

San is a little sad but his happiness at the maknae finding love is more prevalent

They start squealing and demanding details about your relationship

“when did this start” “why didn't you tell us” “did you tell your parents”

Jongho just smiles to himself as they throw questions at him

then you wake up and slap San on the boob for waking you up and then flick Wooyoung for being noisy too lmao

Jongho smiles at you and when you get back to the dorms, he gives you a smooch right where everyone can see (because he can do that now)

[binkysteebnpewter]

All of them 😤

Ehehe 😂💗

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

Grace is actually my middle name, and somewhat. I just don’t like it when my family calls me by first and middle together.

2. are you artistic?

Somewhat?

3. Have you had your first kiss?

Yes

4. What is your life goal?

It’s cheesy and a little cliche, but I want to find Home.

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

Nope

6. Do you play any sports?

Not anymore but I used to play football and I was on the wrestling team in HS

7. What’s your worst fear?

I have two that are sort of equal with another but I’m afraid of losing the people I care about and people seeing me the way I see myself.

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

My late Nana, Gloria.

9. Do you have any cool talents?

Answered in previous ask

10. are you a morning person?

Not at all

11. How do you feel about pet names?

I love them

12. Do you like to read?

Absolutely

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

NCIS, Criminal Minds, and any marvel movie

14. Do you care about your follower count?

Not really, I’ll celebrate milestones but that’s just to show everyone I appreciate them following my trash pile. I didn’t start writing to have a high following, I started writing to better my skill and also make people happy.

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

I don’t remember most of my happy dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

Yep!

17. Do you have any pets?

I have three dogs 🥺💗

18. Are you religious?

No. They only thing I actually believe in is ghosts.

19. Are you a people person?

Not really

20. Are you considered popular?

Nope, and I don’t care to be

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Overthinking

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

Opening up my emotions to other people

23. What would you name your children?

No clue

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

There’s a bunch ig

25. What’s your best subject?

Science and history

26. Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I love cats but I’m super allergic

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

I don’t use a lot of social media tbh, so tumblr is probably my most used unless you count youtube

28. best friends name

Duke

29. who does your main family consist of

My friends and my brother. Family isn’t just blood

30. Chocolate or sugar

Both

31. have you ever been on a date?

Yep

32. Do you like rollercosters?

Absolutely love them

33. Can you swim?

Yes 💗

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

Clearly, I’d do what everyone else does. Panic and try to survive.

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

Yes, I struggle with anxiety and depression

36. Are your parents together?

Nope.

37. What’s your favourite colour?

Dark green and Dark Blue

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Unfortunately, the U.S

39. Favourite singer?

Uh... there’s too many to list? But my favorite people to listen to is The Oh Hellos

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope, I run from being the center of attention.

41. Do you like dresses?

Not really

42. Favourite song right now?

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Sort of.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

No clue, I don’t remember

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yep

46. Have you ever done yoga?

No

47. Are you a horror girl?

YES 😈

48. Are you good at giving advice?

I suppose I am?

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

I don’t have a lot of happy memories but one that sticks out is: I used to go to a private Christian academy and I was in first grade when this boy in eighth grade (the entire school was k-12) came over to me during my lunch. I was super scared and shy as a kid so my schedule was tailored so I was able to eat lunch with my brother whose nine years older than me. Our mom forgot to pack our lunches so we were gonna just get some stuff from the vending machine, well my brother gave me my money to get something and this boy came over to me before I could put it in the vending machine. He hit me and took my money, buying himself something with it. My brother seen it and got into a fight with him.

50. How are you doing today?

Eh

51. Were you a cute kid?

I looked like Shirley Temple when I was a kid

52. Can you dance?

I can swing dance and slow dance, but that’s it.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

I always look for exits and bathrooms when I go somewhere, I’ve always done it 🤷🏻‍♀️

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

No because I’m a ginger. I can’t just dye it back if I end up not liking the color I dyed it to.

55. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

56. What’s your favourite animal?

Answered in previous ask

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

Multiple times

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my dad is rocky but my relationship with my mother went up in flames a few yeaes ago 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you have good friends?

I have some amazing friends🥺💗

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

Yep!

61. What’s your favourite class?

My favorite class was Psychology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

I’m rewatching Criminal Minds right now.

63. Are you organized?

Somewhat?

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

I don’t know if it counts as a movie but I just finished a Ted Bundy Tapes Documentary. I think Bundy was a little bit of an idiot.

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

Spencer Reid

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Anxiety, Depression, overthinking

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

I would probably still work, I’m not a fan of sitting around and doing nothing for large amounts of time.

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Find a way to die, I don’t want to live forever. That’s just torture 👀

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

Nothing. I’ll act the same as I always have because I am who I am, there’s no reason to change yourself from when someone is watching and when someone isn’t.

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

A lot 😂

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yep

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I went to Disney with my Chorus Class in Junior Year of HS, it was my first time to Disney.

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

Nothing, I’m looking for Home. Home will be someone I feel safe with, someone I can be completely myself with— someone I love wholly.

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I— idk?

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a nurse 🤦🏻‍♀️

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Im not sure

79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

Ooh... uh, something happened to me all through 7th, 8th, and 9th grade that I should’ve spoken up about but was too scared.

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

I will work hard to love myself and pursue my dream job.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

No clue tbh

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

I don’t want to live forever but I guess I’d find a way to take away my immortality or find someone else who is immortal to love

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Id put a lot into important causes and then save some with interest.

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I’m not sure, I think I wouldn’t go anywhere because I want to live in the moment. Except 2020, fuck 2020.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

Failure motivates me to succeed.

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

I don’t remember most of my happy dream, I usually can only remember the nightmares 🤷🏻‍♀️

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

Woods, its peaceful.

88. Do you believe in life after death?

I don’t really believe in anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

I had a teacher named Ms Eagan and she inspired me to always be myself.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Meeting Lily

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Lily, because I really miss her.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Anyone being nice to me makes me cry—

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

Sometimes the people you call family don’t truly love you.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Idk and idrc either tbh

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I’d probably scare some people

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

Speak in public or ask for something at restaurants

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

Eh

98. How did your first crush develop?

They were nice to me when no one else was

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yes, I’m trying to ignore how upset some people can really make me.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

I think I’m somewhere in between, where sometimes I’m just existing and sometimes I’m living.

[sadncssfossilized]

sexuality troubles.

i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.

is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.

all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.

nsfw incoming.

ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.

i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha

[eiro-ae]

Unsure

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

It was late afternoon when you had managed to make it home, a cute valentines gift bag in your hands, full with gifts and a card for your one and only valentine. It had taken you so long to hand make half of these items, but it was definitely worth it. You placed the bag on display on your kitchen counter before making your way to your room and pulling out your phone.

[6:23pm] Whatcha doin?

You waited for a moment, a giddy smile upon your face.

[6:27pm] Practice.

The one word response was a little new, he had always made time to give you an appropriate response because he knew you hated one word responses. However, you let it slide, just thinking that he must be super busy.

[6:29pm] I have something for you. Can you text me when you’re available?

Another moment passed, the three dots seemingly permanent on the screen.

[6:32pm] Sure, it’ll be a little bit though.

As much as you had hoped it would be sooner, you understood that he was busy, so you gave a small pout before replying.

[6:34pm] Okay, that’s fine.

To pass time, you laid there, scrolling through youtube. A few funny videos popped up, and of course you had to watch those. One in particular had almost brought you to tears from laughing so hard, so you decided to send it to Yangyang. You didn’t expect any response, and as you expected, you got nothing.

You continued to wait, for much longer than you wanted. It was getting later and later and not a single word from Yangyang. Your heart began to drop, bringing your mind to a thinking state. A state you knew you didn’t need to be in. You always overthought things, and you knew that, but you just couldn’t help it. Yangyang was the first good thing that has ever happened to you and you were just so scared that he too would get tired of you and walk out on you.  

It was now 8pm, and you still hadn’t heard a single word from him. Does he even know what today is? Did he just forget? Those questions brought you to another question, one that you had put off for so long. What are we?

You and Yangyang had been friends for so long, and you obviously had a massive crush on him, but… when he asked you to be his girlfriend, he was so confident. He kind of laughed about it, as if it was a joke. Of course you said yes, you’d be a fool to say no. His face had fallen, he seemed so shocked that you had said yes. You couldn’t tell if it was because he wasn’t expecting you to feel the same way, or if he was shocked you took his joke seriously. He never said anything about it, instead he just said okay before running off with his friends.

Now that you two were… together? You hated that you couldn’t quite label it. Anyway, he doesn’t treat you like his girlfriend. He still treats you like a friend. He never holds your hand, he never kisses you, he never calls you any names other than your name or some stupid nickname he gave you in middle school. You were starting to wonder if maybe he was joking that day, that he didn’t actually want you to take it seriously.

You shot up from your lying position, eyes wide and mind racing. Was he joking that day and now has to deal with you because you said yes? Was he just trying not to hurt your feelings? Did he not want you? Is that why he’s so distant? It would make sense. You could feel the familiar sting in your eyes, trying your hardest to push back the tears, telling yourself it was a stupid reason to cry and that you were just overthinking things again, but it only made it worse.

You gripped onto the pillow you had been holding before shoving your face into it as you cried. You didn’t even notice your phone going off behind you.

[8:22pm] Okay, I’m done. What’s up?

[8:29pm] Hello? Did you fall asleep? It says you’re reading my messages

[8:34pm] I know you’re awake, you never sleep this early.

You still didn’t even notice that he was blowing up your phone, even when he called you.

[8:37pm] 1 missed call

[8:43pm] 2 missed calls

[8:48pm] 3 missed calls

He was determined to reach you, but you just wouldn’t answer your phone. He knew how you were so it was only beginning to worry him.

[8:51pm] Please answer me, you’re starting to make me worry.

[8:56pm] This isn’t like you… what's wrong?

At this point you had calmed down with the tears, instead you laid there in your bed, curled up like a child, completely forgetting that you even had a phone.

[9:16pm] Fuck this, I’m coming over.

The tears had picked back up, and you hated yourself for it. You kept telling yourself to stop being a baby, that it’s a dumb reason to cry. After another ten minutes you had expected it to die down again, but it only picked up even more and you were to the point where you were choking on your tears. You didn’t even hear the door to your apartment open, nor the footsteps that led to the opening of your bedroom door as well.

Yangyang stood there, watching your shaking figure and listening as you cried. His heart had dropped and he was more than confused. He slowly made his way to you, announcing his presence.

“No, no, no, come here.” He lifted you up as he sat on your bed before pulling you to him. You latched onto him, crying into his shoulder. You wanted to stop but it was only making it worse now that he was here.

After a good few minutes, you were able to calm down enough to pull away from him. He looked down at you with a concerned expression.

“Why were you crying?” He asked you softly as he moved a strand of hair from your face. You didn’t know how to tell him, you felt like maybe he’d just look at you like you were stupid for it. However he has a way of making you tell him what he wanted to know so you just learned to give up and tell him anyway.

“I.. um…” You sighed, looking away from him. “What are we?” You deadpanned, bringing a wave of silence into the room. Yangyangs brows furrowed as he thought about the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused at the question.

“I mean.. You asked me to be your girlfriend, but you looked so surprised when I said yes.” You started. He was still quite obviously confused.

“Well I mean, I was…?” How did you even properly explain to him how you felt?

“I know but… it seemed like maybe you were joking when you asked me out? And maybe you were shocked because I took your joke seriously? I mean, you haven’t treated me any different from that day. You never hold my hand, you never call me any cute names, you never kiss me, you never do anything and I was starting to wonder if you were just dealing with me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” It was silent again, and you were starting to regret even telling him that.

“That’s not it at all.” He states plainly, going to grab your hand before sighing.

“It was never a joke, I wanted you, I still want you. I was surprised because you said yes so quickly and I was expecting a no. I was so nervous that day but I had to do it. I never do anything with you because I’ve been too nervous to. I didn’t want to move too fast because I didn’t want to scare you off. I guess that was the wrong choice. I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t want you.” The explanation was enough to make you cry again, but you forced them back. Yangyangs hand made its way to your cheek, rubbing away the tears that had already fallen.

“If you want me to hold your hand, just tell me. If you want me to call you baby, I will. If you want me to kiss you, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’d love to do all these things, I just didn’t want to rush you.” You looked up at him with glossy eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity in his own, but there was none.

“Kiss me.” You spoke softly. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he looked down to yours. He angled your face as he leaned down, his eyes closing as his soft lips met your own. The kiss you shared was gentle, but it meant so much to you. You kissed him back with such feeling, and you could almost understand how he felt just by the way he kissed you. When he pulled away, you were slightly disappointed, wanting nothing more then to attach your lips to his once more. He gazed down at you with a smile.

“So.. about that gift.” You let out a giggle before lightly smacking his arm.

“Kiss me again and I’ll go get it for you.” He smiled before leaning down to meet your lips once more.

“Gladly.”

This was based on a dream that I had. I honestly forgot I wrote it but I thought I’d go ahead and post it. 

[casszabek]

meet CASIMIR RADOSLAW ZABEK, he has been living in milton for fifteen years and is generally known around town for being dedicated and temperamental. the twenty one year old, is apparently a youtuber but you didn’t hear that from me. when i think of him i think of: splatters of blood on ice, skulls drawn on a fogged up window, the beads of a rosary biting into your palm despite knowing god will never take you.   -   timothee chalamet, cismale, he/him as written by pepper, 23, est, she/her. 

ABOUT THE MUN.  id like to formally apologize for calling everything sexy. it seems i have forgotten every other word that could express that i like something. 

hello all, it’s me, ya gurl pepper. as the kids say... what is UP kyle! i usually like to start these things with a bit about me but god i feel like y’all already know too much about me already i skjsjk revealed it all in that groupchat but omg okay lemme think. i am 5′6 and the shortest person in my family and everyone makes fun of me for it. i don’t drink so every time i write my muses drunk it’s a whole mess. i can’t cook but i love to eat. i am in love with both stiles stilinski and rory sutton brady. i love to rollerblade but the one time i did the rollerblades highkey cut into my skin so i’ve never done it again. i am a big marvel and like general superhero nerd but i’m not proud of it cause disney really let me down sdkjsdjk okay that’s it i think onto cass stuff now!

BIO. *removes one earbud* the fuck you want

cass was born and raised in poland to parents who honestly never really cared for him. like it wasn’t that they were particularly cruel to him or anything, they just didn’t like him. they barely bothered with him most days, generally leaving cass to his own devices when they could or with friendly neighbours. cass pretty much grew up raised by those polish grandmothers who stand on their balcony’s to look out and see the gossip, but he was always pretty okay with that like he never knew any different. until he did. 

when cass was six he and his parents took a trip to america and milton to visit his grandfather. you see, his grandfather and grandmother came to america for their retirement around the time that cass was about two. they settled down in milton and quickly became the eccentric foreign couple. the zabeks. everyone loved them. but then cass’ grandmother died. and his grandfather fucking cyrofreezed her ass and shoved her in the shed like a psycho. 

so basically they were coming for the funeral but the funeral was just them all looking at his grandmother’s frozen body in his grandads fucking shed like she was an exhibit at a museum. it was weird. like really weird. but so was grandpa zabek so no one really questioned it. cass just remembers thinking that he couldn’t wait to get out of there. 

he never did. his parents fucking left him there. just like that. 

they literally said they were just going over to the next town for some dry ice for the grandma zabek popsicle and they never. fucking. came. back. 

so cass was stuck here. with his crazy psycho drunk of a grandpa. and a grandma who was quickly getting freezer burn. and a town full of weird ass people. he was living the dream. 

but then things got weirder. the towns people, who were also psychos, like fucking loved it?? like they were way too into it. based a whole town tradition on the whole thing. and that wasn’t it, no, pretty soon they were attracting tourists. to their little fucking house, or more specifically, the shed in the back. cass has vivid memories of leading curious people out there, bringing them into the dark shed and just pulling down the little light switch to a bunch of oohs and aahs. people were fucking crazy. and cass learned that pretty quickly. he was jaded at a very young age.

but it didn’t stop there. oh no. so before grandpa zabek was a drunk psycho guy he was an olympic figure skating coach. and so guess what he forced his grandson to do for bonding?? fucking ballet. fucking figure skating. cass never really had a bit of a choice honestly, the moment his grandfather figured out he had a talent he was pretty much set on training cass up for the olympics. and honestly, the moment that cass figured out that he was actually good, and could actually fucking beat people, well. he was pretty into it. like honestly cass has always been pretty into knives, and like having knives on your shoes?? hardcore. 

so for most of cass’ life that was it. going to school and barely passing. ice skating after school, and before. showing off grandma for money whenever they had a couple tourists in town. the zabek household was always people’s weird small town stop on their crosscountry road trips. some asshole even did a whole article about them once, and that just blew things up further. prick. if cass ever finds him he’ll take out his kneecaps. 

honestly cass was always pretty much a loner in school? got into a lot of fights, caused a lot of mayham. think patrick verona in ten things i hate about you. that was cass’ energy. he had like maybe three friends total and he was pretty okay with that. 

anyways, so after years of training and figure skating and ballet training, like yes literally ballet training, cass is pretty much all ready for the olympics. he and his grandad are about to go through the whole fucking process and guess what the old man’s dumbass does?? tries to rob a bank in the city to pay for the various olympic things they need. gets his ass arrested of course. like an idiot. 

cass was sixteen at the time, and royally pissed about it but well. what can you do. so cass goes back to town, no medal, no nothing but his broken up feet to show for it all, and honestly kind of depressed and scared like ??? he didn’t know what he was going to do without his grandpa and he certainly didn’t want to go to foster care. but then the weirdest thing happens. the town takes care of him. 

cass didn’t ask for it of course. cass will die before asking for help. but he didn’t have to. just like that random ladies were coming to his house with casseroles for lunch, and dinner, and breakfast. people were double checking to make sure cass’ ass was going to class because he still had to graduate. some random ladies from his ballet studio even came with him to his grandfather’s hearing. 

it was weird honestly?? cass has never really gotten that level of support, not even from his grandfather, but it was big gilmore girls energy. the whole town rallied around him as if cass was just an angry, violent little rory gilmore after a heartbreak. and honestly he was grateful for it, although he’d never say it. he feels a certain level of debt to them honestly, so you can pretty much always lowkey catch cass helping an old lady clean out her gutters or like helping some random suburban mom paint over the side of her house. helping out at one of the stores when someone is short staffed. that kind of stuff. 

he still has the family business though and that covers the bills. every once and a while cass is over charging some suckers to see a dead lady and he’s chill with it. honestly he’s gotten so used to it that he actually talks to frozen grandma zabek like it’s nothing sdkjdsjk like honestly he lives by himself and he’s lonely so he’s always like ‘wow, look at the fuckin’ haul this time around babcia... with all this i can buy you a new dress or something...put it over your cube... just kidding, i’m spending this shit on a new board, sorry’ sdkdsjkan

but to bring in extra money cass does youtube, something he kind of stumbled into honestly?? like cass is really good at video games, and he really likes them so honestly someone probably just uploaded a video playing video games once (cause cass wouldn’t do it himself so wanted connection i guess if anyone is willing to like be friends with this boy) and like it blew up?? and cass realized he could make a whole ass career based off of this?? so that’s what he did??? he makes videos of him playing games and just getting super pissed when he loses or messes up and people LOVE IT!! he probably goes by halo online because he doesn’t want people to find him. also will occassionally post videos of him skateboarding. honestly is really popular on line, like maybe not p*wdiepie level but maybe markiplier or ksi idk gamer youtubers guys but he’s up there. has never been to playlist live or anything like that though because he is not a people person sdkdsj but someone force him to go i feel like it would be fun

oof and that’s it i think ! a long ride but thank you for getting to the end 

PERSONALITY. i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside i’m angrier.

and that’s it that’s his personality thanks for coming out. 

BLUNT. no but aside from being generally grumpy at all times cass is just so honest most of the time, like he straight up does not lie for the most part because he doesn’t see the point?? says what he wants no matter how rude. kind of a dick but it’s not as much that he’s trying to be it’s just that he never goes out of his way to be nice unless he really, really likes you. 

TACTLESS. cass does not have a suave or like ??? persuasive bone in his body?? again he just says what he wants?? actually super like useless with an actual crush??? the kind of person who had a crush on someone as a kid and wrote them a little note that was like ‘get out of my school’ yk dsksd very mean to his crushes, will tease you mercilessly and get flustered and yeet at any reciprocation?? he doesn’t know what to do tf ??

DEDICATED. god, cass is like resilient and also so freaking ambitious and determined when he wants something?? unfortunately the olympics and like skating didn’t work out but he put his blood sweat and tears into that and whenever he finds what else he wants to do he will put that same energy into that too. 

TEMPERMENTAL. it is so easy to piss cass off, but if it’s the right person it’s also really easy to make him laugh. like he hates most people, but his mood can be like so easily changeable. one second he’s laughing the next he’s punching some guy in the face. i’m making him sound kind of unhinged and sometimes he is but most of the time he’s chill. 

CONFLICTING. god cass doesn’t say what he means sometimes, which kind of conflicts with him being blunt but like??? at any sign of affection cass is like NO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE when he really wants someone to stay around like skjdsj he’s got big tsundere energy sometimes and i hate it. very bad at apologizing, very bad at like admitting when he’s wrong, very bad at like receiving or reciprocating affection unless it’s the right person because his parents and grandfather never hugged him sdkjsd

DESTRUCTIVE. literally the type to like to set things on fire sdkjsdj obsessed with bonfire nights cause he can just burn things. will explode things for fun on his youtube channel occasionally. like big chaotic aries energy people. 

FUN FACTS *covers up real feeling with aggressive sarcasm*

polish is his first language and he mostly learned english through tv and video games. he has a knack for languages as well, like he can pick them up fairly easily, but he’s honestly better with his body. has a thick ass polish accent though and he probably used to get teased for it when he was younger but anyone who would tease him for it would get their ass beat so skjdsjk was it worth it?? 

one smacked a guy with his skateboard so hard it straight snapped in half. that’s the level of aggression we’re coming with today.

was raised catholic, and is still kind of a god fearing boy. still goes to church like religiously despite his grandfather not being around. will wear a pressed white button down and then someone will point out there’s like blood on the collar dskjdsj *cass vc* oh fuck 

lives in hoodies about a size too big for him, the colour black and combat boots. general angry and all the adults in town are like casimir sweetie you should wear something bright it’ll make you look like less of a ghost and like half of them get the finger for it which results in a smack upside the head for your boy.

very competitive. like incredibly competitive. cass needs to win or he’ll die basically. 

bisexual as all hell. is kind of tentative about it because ??? will god hate him ??? but he is attracted to both men and women and he’s pretty sure god hates him already so 

absolutely adores video game apps. has like a thousand on his phone, and is constantly idly playing them, lie whenever cass has nothing to do he’s playing video games 

has a skateboard, tends to ride it like everywhere. catch cass riding through town either smoking or vaping, squeezing in the gaps between people and causing chaos. it’s his vibe. 

a dog person BIG TIME! has a big lovable white dog named snieg and he loves her, she is the only roommate he ever wants to have and he is kissing her constantly sdkjdsk catch cass only smiling at this dog ever tbh

sleep talks and sleep walks especially when he’s stressed. cass will walk into the middle of the street asleep honestly which is exactly why he should never move to the city.

also smokes when he’s stressed. smokes a lot of weed, might even experiment with some other stuff while he’s partying because yeah his body was a temple but now?? fuck it sdkjds

like i said his grandpa was highkey the town drunk. cass had to drag him out of bars regularly and like bring him home and he also literally like climbed on top of like town square drunk af on like christmas day sdkjsdj * cass vc * gET DOWN YOU OLD FUCK!!! IF YOU DIE I’LL BLOW YOUR LIFE INSURANCE ON HOOKERS!! sdkjdsk so yeah basically the zabeks were chaotic but lowkey cass misses his grandfathers drunk ass he visits him in prison like once a month. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS *how to catch feelings and then throw them into the fire where they belong*

i always love getting rivalry connections for cass so a RIVAL please and thanks. 

a PARTNER IN CRIME of sorts! someone who he can turn to just cause havoc and such??? whenever they’re together people know it’s trouble.

lowkey a CONSCIENCE?? someone who can be the little voice in the back of cass’ head mayhaps. who can convince him that attempting to use someone’s roof as a skateboarding ramp might not be a good idea you know. keep him sane, keep him alive. 

someone who cass feels comfortable discussing his feelings with?? like a CONFIDANTE. this would probably have to be a true legend and a super rare person??? just someone who can listen to cass’ crap and just be there for him you know. likely his soft spot tbh

someone who casimir absolutely hates with every fibre of his being. give me that HATESHIP. someone who he wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire. it could be mutual or onesided.

someone who has maybe been in a few of cass’ vlogs that the internet like ships him with??? could be fun. there are like edits of them everywhere, they have a ship name, and cass wants to murder the world. 

an EX because i always love that kind of stuff. cass is the worst at relationships but he is always all in emotionally. it probably would have been a lot of fighting and arguing but also good when it was good honestly we can plot it out. 

the JACKIE TO HIS HYDE please and thank you. it’s what we deserve. 

 FRIENDS of course i nearly forgot but like friends please. maybe the couple of people who could tolerate him in high school??

and finally.... FWBS or EWBs because why not, that’s as much as cass can handle emotionally.

omg i lied cause also A CRUSH! like a childhood crush on cass’ part, or on your muse’s part, or a crush that has just arisen now an cass lke avoids them like the plague for it. although if cass has a crush on your muse just be prepared for him to be irrationally kind of mean because he doesn’t know how to emotion. 

a SIBLING LIKE RELATIONSHIP!! big brother for cass, or cass can be the big brother, a big sister for cass, or a little sister. i’m here for it all whether it’s bickering siblings or protective siblings that would do anything for each other. a kind of found family thing if you will, please and thanks.

and absolutely anything else! i am one hundred percent happy to brainstorm something if none of these catch your eye so like this and i’ll hit you up! or react to me on discord either works tbh

[lovemesomesurveys]

your name: Stephanie. do you like to shoot pool?: I’ve never played pool. are you any good?: what is the scariest movie you ever saw?: Hmm. I’m not sure what horror film gets the scariest movie title. I love horror films, but I haven’t been really scared by one in a long time. the funniest?: That’s tough, too.

the saddest?: I’m not good at this haha. do you daydream?: Yeah. My wanders and drifts a lot. do you dream at night?: Yeah. We all do, it's just sometimes we don't remember them. <<< I rarely remember them. Sometimes I will briefly, but then it’s gone. It has to really affect me or something for me to remember. A lot of my dreams are just so random and weird. do you remember them? Care to share?: ^^^ when you're sick, do you like to be pampered, or left alone?: It’s definitely nice to be taken care of, but I do like to sleep a lot when I’m sick so it’s a bit of both. who's the better actor, jack nicholson or anthony hopkins?: I don’t know, they’re both good at the creepy. are you superstitious?: Nah. I do the knock on wood thing, but it’s really just out of habit at this point cause I’ve done it so long. how many pictures are in your wallet?: The only photo in my wallet is my ID. do you like getting pictures taken?: No. if someone cries while watching a sad movie..do you laugh at them?: Nooo. Not sure why that’d be funny. I don’t even acknowledge it, I just let them have their moment. I’m probably too into the movie to really notice anyway. how often do you change your sheets?: Twice a month. is you bedroom upstairs or down?: We only have one floor. is it true blood is thicker than water?: Sadly, not always. Some people have toxic families.  if you could wish someone out of your life ..who would it be?: The only people in my life currently are my family and I wouldn’t wish any of them out of my life! I’m here because of them. if you could be with anyone in the world..famous or not..who would it be?: It’s best that I’m single. are you high maintenance?: No. if you could change one thing in the world..what would it be: No violence. if you could star in any movie..which would it be?: One with Alexander Skarsgard where I play his girlfriend. haha.  deliveryman at your door..who's the package from?: *shrug* I didn’t order anything. if you could completely change who you are..would you?: I’d change a lot that’s for sure. if you could live in a fairytale..which would it be?: Alice in Wonderland. if you could live in the past..where would it be?: I just wanna go back to the 90s, honestly. if you could see only one person right now..who would it be?: I’d love to see my grandma again. :( do you wear shoes in the house?: No. do you dream in color or black and white?: In color. what is your favorite accent?: British accents and some southern ones. do you like sunsets or sunrises?: Both are beautiful. what age did you find out santa wasn't real?: I think I was 8. do you write poetry/songs/stories?: Nope. do you wear socks with sandals?: No. I never wear sandals. would you marry for money?: Absolutely not. do you have any "in the mood" music you like to listen to?: Haha there are some songs where I’ve thought it would be a song to do the deed to. :X would you vote for a woman president?: If she was a good candidate in my own personal opinion, yeah. <<<< This. I want to vote for someone who I feel can do the best job. Their gender has nothing to do with it. Are looks/appearances really important?: I can’t say it doesn’t matter at all, but it’s not the most important. what are you most looking forward to?: There isn’t anything coming up. if someone lied to you and came clean is that forgivable?: I could forgive them most likely in time, but whether we remain friends or close is another story. It really depends on what the lie was. if you had to repeat a day over and over again..what day would you pick?: Ugh, my life already feels like that. It’s like Groundhog’s Day. Even a good day I wouldn’t want to repeat forever. When you die, do you want to be cremated or buried? Cremated. Did/do you like high school? Parts of it I liked. Do you like to play video games? Some. I’m always down for Mario games. Do you like Final Fantasy? Which one do you prefer of all? I’ve never played. My brothers loves that series, though. It does look interesting. Have you ever caught on fire? The tips of my hair did once while blowing out birthday candles :X Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah, but I don’t upload. I use it to subscribe to channels and leave comments if I want. Do you ever go to video game arcades? No. Do you care what people think of you? Yes and no. Not as much as I used to, but that’s not because I’ve become a confident person or anything. I just don’t have the energy to care. I’ve become numb to it I guess. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nope. Do you like Lady Gaga? I like some of her songs. Don’t you hate when your foot falls asleep? I don’t have that problem, but I hate when my hand or arm falls asleep. Do you think you have been in love before? Yes. Do you write poetry? No. I dabbled with it briefly my sophomore year in high school, though. They’re super cringe looking back on them. Do you like Edgar Allan Poe? I liked The Tell-Tale Heart. Have you ever met anyone famous? If so, who? Jamie Lee Curtis and Drake Bell. Have you ever gotten hit on by some creeper? Yeah, a few. Do you watch LifeTime? My mom and I used to all the time back in the day when I was younger. Now we do every once and awhile, usually if there’s nothing else on of interest. What happens is once you start one movie, you end up watching the rest of the day. Do you bless random people when they sneeze? Sometimes. Do you have a short temper? No. I get irritated quite easily, though. Do you like Sarah Dessen? Yeah, I’ve read a few of her books. Do you want to have children? If so, how many? No. Have you ever had a yard sale? No. Do you go to Barnes and Noble for books, the library or someplace else? I use the Kindle app, honestly. I have access to a ton of books. If I wanted a physical copy; though, I’d go to Barnes and Noble. Do you have an iPad? Nope. Are you scared to die? Yes. Do you go to church every Sunday? I watch the videos the church near me uploads every Sunday.  Have you ever called one of those Hot Line numbers? No. I can’t believe those are still a thing. I see the commercials for them still. Do you think you draw well? Ha, no. I can’t draw for shit. Have you ever wanted to be a meteorologist? No. Do you like Taylor Swift? I’m not a fan.

[dearkaelsman]

Because I’m currently unemployed and my province is in recession wooo

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: Ashli

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I can say the alphabet faster backwards than forwards. I am also a proud BlackBerry user in 2020.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes and smile are the first things I notice. After that I feel like it’s different things I find attractive on a person or reflective on personality.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Hungarian-style cabbage rolls. Beef belongs in them, not pork.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Meat pies of any sort (they’re too rich for my palette to handle and literally make me feel sick).

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: I don’t believe in feeling guilty about things I enjoy if they’re not hurting anyone. 

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: In the winter I go full-on fleece PJ’s because I’m Albertan and it gets down to -40*C here. In the summer, a t-shirt or tank top and Lululemon pants/shorts.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships because I lack self esteem.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Generally speaking I believe everything happens for a reason, however, as a recently unemployed journalist, I do wish I had paid more attention to job openings while working at my last newspaper that was shut down in January. I genuinely loved what I was doing, where I was working ( the pay was practically minimum wage but it was a job), so I didn’t pay attention to them before, and now I’m literally living in one of the worst areas of my country to find a job, and unable to afford moving to where there’s work.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: If I’m comfortable with the person, yes.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: The Star Wars prequels.

12. FAVOURITE BOOK: I read a lot so it’s impossible for me to narrow down to one book. The Harry Potter series (specifically Prisoner of Azkaban) will probably be amongst my favourites, especially given it was the first book series that made me love reading. Beastly by Alex Flinn is one of my go-to rereads when I’m looking for something romantic because I really enjoy the way the book is written, and as a girl that often ends up RPing guys, it’s nice to have that “male” type perspective on a romantic relationship. The Immortals Series by Tamora Pierce is also a long-standing favourite. 

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Cats. I could so easily by a “crazy cat lady,” but I just have two at the moment.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Dearka x Miriallia (Gundam SEED, obvs.), Anakin x Padme (Star Wars), Trunks x Pan (DBZ), Mitsuhide x Kiki (Snow White with the Red Hair), Sakura x Syaoran (Cardcaptors)

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake. I’m super picky with pie.

16. FAVOURITE SCENT: The smell in the air after it’s rained in the summer, OR what my sister and I like to call “warm sunny kitty,” which is how the kitties smell after they’ve been sleeping in a sunbeam all afternoon.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: I don’t really crush on celebrities as much as I’ll find a character attractive in a show or movie that I’m watching. I recently binged “Spinning Out” on Netflix which unfortunately got cancelled after the first season, and I really liked Justin Davis, played by Evan Roderick, so I guess he might count as my current celeb crush?

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Right now  I’m very much in Star Wars obsession mode so I’d like to go to Disney World to check out Galaxy’s Edge. Eventually I want to see the life-size Gundam in Japan and visit Cat Island, and visit Greece and Italy.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: 100 per cent an introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Probably.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android. Apples rot.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yeah, I’m slowly catching up on games while I’m unemployed. Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order is a recent favourite, but I’m super excited about the remaster of FFVII coming out.

23. DREAM JOB:  I don’t like limiting myself which is why I like being a journalist/photojournalist where I get to experience and do a number of different things. That said, if I could do nothing but shoot events for a newspaper - and sadly newspapers don’t employ straight photographers anymore - that would be ideal. Potentially I wouldn’t mind delving into the political realm with behind the scenes stuff, or combine my love for nerdy things with writing/photography and somehow get paid for it. And paid more than just above minimum wage LOL.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Buy my dream camera, the Canon ID X, repair the gear I have that needs to go in. I’d look into opening up a viable independent local newspaper for central Alberta that isn’t tied down to a corporate, American-based chain or operating as a political propaganda machine, and once I have some job security, move into a place of my own.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Athrun Zala. He’s very much a self-righteous character that believes he’s the only one that really knows what’s going on, and the only one who NEEDS to know what’s going on. Much of the friction he created within the Le Creuset Team was as a result of him not letting his teammates know that Kira was a friend and Coordinator piloting the Strike. I believe they would’ve approached battles differently if they had known, and it would’ve eliminated the doubts of Athrun’s leadership when they were searching for the Archangel on Orb, and honestly may have saved Nicol’s life in the end. If he wasn’t so self-righteous, he also wouldn’t have played into Durandal’s hand in Destiny, trust Kira and even Lacus to be on the right side of things, and perhaps even prevented that whole Cagalli-Yuuna situation. He might even actually let one of the many women fawning over him (he honestly doesn’t seem interested in ANY OF THEM, Cagalli included), and let Dearka and Yzak know what was going on in Destiny when they were left in the dark about Durandal’s master plan, and what role the Archangel and Athrun were playing in the war.

I guess what bothers me, too - and it could just be the Dearka in me talking - but he gets preferential treatment a lot. As far as I know, the story is Dearka was demoted for his defection from ZAFT, while Athrun, who defected AFTER Dearka and didn’t even have the balls to return right after the war returned in Destiny and was given back his red coat and a FAITH badge as if he’d never done anything wrong in ZAFT’s eyes....only to pull the same shit again.

Honestly, the man has no direction in life, and is somehow lauded as a hero and exempted from any sort of repercussions of his actions.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Voltron. Miriallia-mun and I were both into Voltron when it came out and even cosplayed Hunk and Keith together and it was the best. But as it goes with many fandoms, the show got hijacked by brutal shipping wars where one couldn’t just enjoy the show. The fandom then became really toxic, calling for the creators to be assaulted or worse at conventions, or insinuating they were homophobic because they didn’t make their slash pairing canon. I couldn’t have cared less about ships in the show, and the final season showed some catering to toxic fan pressure and had some poor plot points which honestly left me uninterested in watching the show after the final season.

tagged by: Stole it from @aegis-destiny

tagging : Anyone who wants to.

[e-luxion]

Hihi a Leo here! I have a crush on this Pisces. problem: her love styles are really unreadable bc she doesn’t talk about relationships a lot. But I feel like she’s a huge romanticist?? I wanna ask her out bc we get along really well but I wanna know more about her romantic+physical side so I know what I’m doing. Could you give me insight? (Her stuff- Moon: Taurus in 11th, Venus: Pisces in 9th, Mars: Aries in x mc, 5th House: Libra, 7th House: Capricorn, Juno: Leo in 2nd, Eros: Capricorn in 7th)

I usually don't reply these kind of questions cos they require super detailed answers, but for you I'll make an exception cos this is adorable. I share two placements with her actually haha

I'll give you some pointers based on her placements:

Venus in Pisces even tho they're HUGE idealist romantics, but they keep it in their mind. They dream and dream but if you confront them with love, they'll run. Honestly it's a water Venus thing, we crave love but once we are presented with it, we run. Pisces is a funny one cos they're the biggest idealist fairy tale loving dorks but a lot of them are too shy in their expression of love, their way of approaching love is actually very tender hearted, very soft. So have patience with her, try not to overwhelm her too much, just try to get her to open up little by little, have an open mind! The way to a Venus Pisces's heart is through compassion, it's through showing that you truly care. Notice the little things, do little cute romantic gestures, make her feel appreciated and cared for.

Having Venus in Pisces in a fire house (I have it too except mine is in the 5th not 9th) is a challenge because it sort of amplifies those flight responses to love and it creates a sort of inner conflict of wanting a great romance but being scared to be tied down. Especially with it in the 9th, she probably has a great love for knowledge, adventure and maybe even traveling and languages. Those are good ways to approach her I think. Maybe invite her to fun places, plan unexpected things, things like that.

With Moon in Taurus, she is probably surprisingly sensitive even if she doesn't seem like it. Your moon sign shows you your most private side, what makes you comfortable and what feels right. The most important thing to a taurus is comfort itself, abrupt changes don't go well with them and they tend to get attached to things that feel stable to them so a lot of the times they're not the best at opening up because of this. With it being in the 11th I think there is a more carefree approach to the moon, the 11th house rules friendship and people with 11th house placements value friendship a lot so I think she'd value you as her friend first than anything else, try to be her friend first and make her feel comfortable and she'll eventually open up to you more.

The Juno in the 2nd really amplifies the Taurus moon qualities I think and the need for comfort in a way, it's very sensual too.

Ahwiakwiam I can write about this for hours I'm going to get too carried away lmao there is just so much to say. I can go on about a lot of things about these placement but the main things are what I said before. At least for now. If I write more, I wont be able to stop and this will become an essay lmao if you have any more specific questions tho you can send them in and I'll answer them

If you want to ask her out, do it, go for it, pisces Venus are just a bunch of chickens who don't have the courage to ask no one out. Ask her out to do something fun, but try not to come across too serious, take things slowly on the romantic department. Just be casual and chill about it but make sure your feelings still come across. I hope that made any sense lmao

Please keep me updated!!!!! Id love to know how it goes!

Love, Lulu xox

p.s. sorry if this wasn't that helpful idk I feel like I just said such generic shit

[thenudescientist]

The Not-So Direct Approach

“Hange. I’m telling you. Listen to me. Fuck. Just listen to my words. No one should be that tall and that pretty. S’not fair. I don’t even like tall guys but like. Fuck. That guys is just tall and he’s so fucking pretty. Fucking tall and pretty asshole.”

“What else? Have you seen his face Hange. His face is just so nice. I wanna boop his nose. That would be weird but I wanna like. Boop! Right on the nose. C’mere so I can boop your nose cause Eren isn’t here and I can’t boop his nose. So your shitty nose will have to do.”

“Ugh. And his eyes. Son of a bitch. Erwin! Are you fucking listening to me fucking shithead?”

“Right Erwin. Remember when we arrested him and he’s all like “I’m gonna kill all the Titans.” Super intense. Did you see how his eyes changed? They were like “I’m scared, I’m gonna be light green.” Then they were like “I’m homicidal now I’m like fucking Christmas green.” What’s that color Erwin? Christmas green?”

“Yes! Fucking evergreen. That’s a terrible name for green by the way. Did you know my favorite color is green? Like everything important is green. Izzies eyes. The scout cloak. Eren’s eyes. Erwin’s dumbass Halloween costume that one year.”

“Yes and I still have the pics fuckface. I printed them out and everything. Everyone has a copy even Mike.”

“Oh shut up eyebrows. Everyone knows you have a thing for that fucking tree you call a dog. He can probably smell your precum cause I know your dick gets all drippy when you see him. His fucking nose man. It’s just weird. He’s got like a superpower. Super nose man. His name is like Snuffles. Snuffles the tall as fuck superhero no one asked for. I’m surprised we even have a K-9 unit with that giant waltzing around.”

“Eren’s nose is the best. I’m gonna fucking boop it so hard.”

“Shitty fucking glasses. You don’t get to boop his nose before me. What the fuck. I just called boop dibs.”

“RESPECT THE DIBS FOUR EYES.”

“I thought so. Idiot. Stupid fucking glasses tryna disrespect the dibs.”

“Ugh. I wanna see Eren.”

“We caaaan’t.”

“Fucking Mikasa that’s why.”

“Have you see her? She’s like a fucking 100-meter wall, laced with cock repellent. I don’t even know how Eren has so many guy friends. They all want to bang him, you know. Every single one. You think she makes them sign contracts?”

“Yeah like. ‘Oh you wanna be friends with my brother? You gotta sign away your right to get in his pants.’ That’s something she would do. She’d totally do that cause have you seen Reiner. That guys wants to chain Eren to his bed and fucking break him.”

“Hange! You see the way Reiner looks at him right?”

“Fucking told you shitbrows. Reiner has it so bad I’m embarrassed.”

“No cause I know how to keep my dick soft around Eren. Reiner is full mast every day. It’s hilarious cause I wanna laugh but I completely understand. I’d chain Eren to my bed if I could.”

“I’m so serious. I’d do crimes to sink my dick inside Eren’s immaculate ass. What if he’s into that shit? Gimme some consent and I’d fucking hook his ass up so quick.”

“Yeeesssss. Shitty glasses. I’d like, bury my dick inside him and live there if I could. I bet it’s wonderful in there. My dick would have the best fucking time.”

“Inappropriate? I’m way past inappropriate at this point.”

“So many times. Eyebrows caught me beating off in the showers once cause Eren thought it was a good idea to change in front of me and the way his boxers clung to his ass. Hange. I have a fucking appetite.”

“Without a doubt. No hesitation. I’ve had dreams of him just sitting on my face while he’s on the phone or some shit.”

“Gross? You think that’s gross? I’d do ass to mouth for him Erwin. Ass. To mouth.”

“Fuck yes I’d switch with him. You think he’s just a top?”

“That’d be a waste. That ass is just too glorious to have never bottomed. Wait. Wait. He’s gay?”

“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU FUCKING BITCH.”

“NEED TO KNOW? YOU DONT THINK ID NEED TO KNOW IF THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS GAY OR NOT?”

“Fuck nope. I’m sobering up now so nope. I’m so pissed off you got me sober.”

Armin sat in the Director’s office with trembling hands. After a full night of listening to various wiretaps related to the Titan case, he stumbled upon a recording of Levi’s night out. His drinking buddies just happened to be Head of Forensics, Hange Zoë and Director of Scouting Elite Security, Erwin Smith.

Armin being the calculating angel that he is saw fit to turn in the recording in question. The evidence would need to be reviewed by 3 others before it could be used during the trial. The first 6 hours gave them a solid case, incriminating evidence related to the boss of the Titan gang, Zeke and his tank Reiner. Problems arose when Captain Levi, Head detective and their best undercover agent, was dragged away to drink by Hange before he could properly be debriefed and debugged.

After three hours of chatter and drinks, Levi’s lips loosened up to an embarrassing degree and so here Armin was. Desperately trying to preserve the image of the precinct’s grumpy cat and apparently the Director’s as well. He was certain no one else needed to know about Director Smith’s “dripping dick.”

“Arlet. I’m sure we don’t need to discuss the content recorded after 2318, yes?”

“Yes sir. I’ve only brought it here for you to approve the changes needed to be made to the data logs. I’ve taken the liberty to cut a new recording so your evening out with the detective isn’t on file but I can’t change the information in the database to reflect the new length. I’ve also saved a copy of the...um time… in case you needed it for whatever reason, sir”

“Good, Arlet. Good. Let’s see to it that this recording never surfaces again. We don’t need the chaos that would ensue if this were to get out. Let me sign these approval forms and so you can complete your work. Thank you for being so mature about this Armin. Anyone else is the analyst department would’ve played this on the loudspeakers.”

“It’s not a problem sir. Maintaining the privacy of this conversation is as much for Detective Ackerman and yourself as it is for me. If Eren were to hear this recording he wouldn’t shut up for years. Between you and me sir, I’m at my limit with Eren’s crush. Mikasa and I would lose our minds if it was confirmed in a roundabout way.”

“So I should advise Levi to go for the direct approach?”

“I doubt Captain Levi could be anything but direct but yes. I’d advise him to get it over with. Eren’s had a thing for him for three years. It’s getting out of hand.”

“Well Levi. What will it be?” Erwin’s gaze shifted to the man in question standing in the doorway. Levi was leaning against the frame, arms crossed with his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

Armin whipped around to catch a look at the man eavesdropping on their conversation. He didn’t hear anyone approach the door and it was only 0637. No one showed up on the office this early, not even himself but he needed to speak to the Director before the other analyst clocked in and began their own reviews.

“What’s this recording you’re talking about?” Levi approached the desk only to lean against that as well. Once settled he’d crossed his arms again and his legs at the ankles. Armin noted the closed off defensive body language but said nothing of it. Before he could respond Erwin pressed play on the audio file.

“– I’d like, bury my dick inside him and live there if I could. I bet it’s wonderful in there. My dick would have the best time.”

Levi’s eyes widened an alarming amount and in a series of quick movements Levi rounded the desk, shoved Erwin out the way and deleted the offending file.

Levi snapped at Erwin, eyes narrowing dangerously, homicide promised in his mercury eyes. “Fucking hell eyebrows. We just got back. He’s here on the floor and you play this shit?”

“Who’s here Levi?” Erwin’s majestic eyebrows furrowed a bit but the pitch of his voice and the tilt of his head showed he was more amused than confused.

Armin watched on for a while before piecing together Erwin’s new attitude. “Oh no.” Eren was in the office, on this floor and the director’s door was wide open. A small grin grew on his face at the realization along with a newfound respect for Erwin. The man was quicker on his feet than expected.

A rustling sound at the door confirmed Erwin and Armin’s hopes and Levi’s nightmare. Eren Yeager stood just before the threshold carrying tea and a Krispy Kreme takeout bag.

“You guys finally heard it.” Spilled from the boy’s lips with no hesitation shocking the room and leaving blank expressions on the occupant’s faces.

“Finally?”

“You heard?”

“What?”

Eren walked into the room, placed Levi’s tea in front of Armin and opened his bag. He took a bite of the bagel as he looked at each face not understanding why they looked so surprised. “Yeah, Hange played this for me like, the next day. It’s been weeks. You guys just finding it?”

Armin blinked quickly recovering from the surprise. “I just found it last night reviewing everything before we turn over the evidence to Nanaba’s team. You’ve known for weeks?”

“Mm.” Eren confirmed through another bite of the bagel. “Hange just told me to not say anything cause it’d get weird.”

“It’s already pretty fucking weird Eren.” Levi said finally.

“So was the whole ass to mouth thing but you know. We couldn’t afford any distractions so I just didn’t say anything. Figured it was for the best.” Eren casually ate his breakfast while the others watched in awe of his sudden personality change. Eren was not one for forethought, level headedness or any kind of emotional maturity and yet here he was. “To answer your question Captain, I switch.”

Levi’s scowled at the suddenly realistic brunet as he ate. Not believing anything that came out Eren’s mouth. “You what?”

Eren rolled his eyes in response as Armin giggled in the chair beside him. “You asked Hange if I was only a top. I switch.”

“Fuck” was the only reasonable response to the newly acquired information. Levi’s mind was soon filled with filthy images of Eren’s whining and writhing, caged between his own strong arms, split on his hardening member. As he noted his partial erection he regarded Erwin once more. “Give us today and tomorrow off.”

A glimmer of approval shone in the directors eyes as he nodded and a small smile formed on his lips. “Sure thing Levi. Anything else?”

While Erwin confirmed his request Levi snatched up his tea and made grabby hands at Eren. “My place. Now.” He nearly snatched the boy up by his collar in his impatience. Instead he snapped twice and the brunet’s grin. “Hurry the fuck up.”

Eren jolted into action, nearly tripping over himself as he followed Levi from the office. The excitement of being pinned down by Levi made him hard in an instant. After 7 weeks of fantasizing, it was happening on a random Thursday morning after chasing dead leads all night.

[o-taryn-o]

Watching The Last Jedi Thoughts and Reactions

I’ve been obsessed with reading Reylo fan fiction since the opening night I saw TLJ. Ive seen this movie a lot but thought it would be fun to watch it again and react. I guess I had a lot to comment on Rose and Finn and also DJ. Enjoy~

Wow these opening credits are super vague…

I really love this opening scene it’s 100% my favorite Star Wars opening.

Carrie Fishers daughter is super cool. Hux looks v tired and/or on drugs.

Sansa’s insane aunt from Game of Thrones. Love BB-8, I ship Poe and Hux more then Hux and Kylo tho. “punch it!” I love that they have enough time to say cute one liners when piloting a ship. THIS SCENE IS EDITED SO FUCKING WELL THOOOO. Its literally FLAWLESSLY edited. 2nd “punch it!” When the bombers show up my heart starts beating faster, my favorite action sequence ever. Not even thinking about how theres no gravity in space. I love Paige so much! Have I ever seen a asian woman save the day in a movie ever? Why are her hands so beautiful? I LOVE THE COSTUMES OF THIS MOVIE. I wonder where Kylo is? Finn bb!! I wonder why he’s in a storage room? This movie is SO SEXUAL. Love me some beautiful island porn. LOVE that Luke throws the saber, love subverting expectations. “Master Skywalker?” is so cute I have such a crush on Rey. Wow the huts are so cute. Daisy is literally so beautiful, want to be and also kiss her.  Progs, so cute. Rey literally doesn’t waste anything love it she takes the books later also. “Where’s Han?” and then cuts to Kylo love it. The fuck is a “cur”? ADAM DRIVER fuck. This room is so red, its so pretty. This movie is visually STUNNING. Ben’s hair is fucking glorious, also look at those LIPS! I just want him to be with Rey and happy. Ben is fucking loosing his mind Ryan made him look so broken I love it. “Prepare my ship!” is so sexy. Rey’s accent is so perfect. Literally what Luke said he doesn’t want to do he does by the end of the movie. Love poncho Rey! This island is so fucking cool I need more high quality pictures going around. The green milk is so funny. I love that Rey looks away from the creature in embarrassment but then not Ben’s naked chest. I need to take so many screenshots of this movie, theres so many moments people forget! Rey in the tree, so beautiful, I can’t wait to find out id those books give us any information next film. I hope the next film starts with the vision Rey and Ben saw next film. I want to see Reys dreams. I miss Carrie. 

Poe is so annoying, Leia is so right. What a great line, “get your head out of your cockpit”. How does Finn know what the binary beacon is? THIS is when shit goes down. I really like that everything in this movie goes wrong. “Follow my lead” so sexy. Ben is literally crying feeling his mothers presence. And yet people thing this isn’t a redemption story. *shakes my head* Even The First Orders uniforms are so crispty its beautiful. I really like that Leia saved herself. Finn looks so good in that jacket I’m so excited for his blue pants look. Chewy and Porgs is all I ever needed. The lights in the cockpit of the falcon are really beautiful. The shots in this movie are GORGEOUS. I feel like R2 has a really dirty mouth. I can’t wait for Ben and Rey to escape with the falcon from somewhere and then takeout. IM SO READY.  Luke is kinda creepy? Never liked Luke, Leia should have been the protagonist of the original trilogy. HOLDO is a BABE! Love her look and tone and everything she saids is bomb. I love that she talks about everyone else in the galaxy and the importance of keeping everyone hopeful. Why is there so much sexual tension between Poe and EVERYONE? I do feel like Poe is bi tho. Holdo is RIGHT, Poe is annoying and a dick. Sorry I don’t make the rules. He’s hot but wrong. Finn and Rose are so GOOD, it makes me so happy this whole scene. I’m sorry bb Rose I wish I could give her a hug. “Doing talking…” haha I love Kelly so much. Rose is v smart and I love that she stuns him and then drags him. DRAG HIM GIRL. All the men in this movie are making mistakes and the women are being smart this is true to life. Rose and Finn are honestly so perfect together. Its so annoying that Finn and Poe keep interrupting Rose, also true to life.  Maz in the next movie is gonna be into Reylo. Also “union dispute?” what the hell is Maz talking about? How and why does Poe know Maz? I love sleepy Rey, Ben isn’t even mad when he sees her. He looks her up and down so many times throughout this movie. He’s so in love before she is, its cute. Reys outfit is perfection. What Rey said actually wasn’t completely wrong. “s tension, a balance” REYLO! I love that they go into what the force is in this movie. Porgs on the ship is so cute, so is Rey in rain. Ben with his questions, I like that Ben is actually listening to her to see how she feels about him. HE LOOKED AT HER LIPS! WET GLOVES. Finn is so distracted. Pretty cool looks in the casino, those glasses are sweet. Finn/John is so hot. Love watching Rey with her staff. I need one of those belts. An ICON. Could listen to Rey’s theme all day. I feel so bad for the locals, Reys a little bit of a dick. Right when she decides to follow Luke I need that gif! This conversation is great but all I can focus on is the fact that Luke saids “huberous” twice always makes me anxious. I love space operas. Men failing, *a theme*. “I need someone to show me my place in all this” its Ben baby! DJ is cool, why does nobody talk about him. He’s such a interesting character. BB-8 is a badass. Fathiers are so beautiful. It was unnessicary for them to crash through the window and run inside, this whole case is too long. I can’t believe that they have already filmed most of the next movie. I like that Leia and Luke are talking. Now Reys asking the questions, she’s trying to understand him, she wants to understand him. I haven’t noticed till now how inconsistent their voices are over the force. Sleeping baby Ben is my favorite, with his calligraphy set? Precious. Did he show her his past? Or does she just believe him? I want to see the other cut scenes from Reys storyline. Its really cool to see Rey mirroring herself. This is a really cool scene. I’m so happy Ben has long hair in Episode 9. Bens already crying just from her telling him about how lonely she is!! They are eye fucking rn, I know what that look is. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SEEING!!! Luke fucking ruins everything. Ben must be freaking out rn. Yeah get him Rey! I love this fight in the rain. Rey is right. The thing is like how do you know someones completely evil? Who makes that judgement call? This scene is cool, love the look of Yoda. Its a lot of pressure on Rey to continue the Jedi order if she’s the one who knows all the stuff in the books, Im glad she grabbed them. “The greatest teacher failure is”, “we are what they grow beyond” GREAT QUOTES. Rose is a badass. DJ is kinda right tho. “Let me learn you something big” so funny. No one can tell me Rey didn’t wash up and get pretty for meeting Ben. Ben made sure he was the first face she saw, he looks hot. Sweet hacking skills. The iron is really fun editing, they all look really good in the uniforms. The first shot of the elevator scene is so sexual, Ben holding her lightsaber in front of him with her hands in handcuffs. Oofff.  Ryan made this scene as sexy as he could. Its so intimate. They want each other so bad. Rey whispers and leans in. Ben is so soft. His trying to hard to focus on his goal of killing Snoke and saving Rey. Rose is so salty “of course you do”. I feel like everyone puts up with Poe because he’s hot,  because he’s a dick. Another failed plan. Yeah Leia get him! I love that she just shoots. Her daughter surrendering is really funny. Leia and Holdo are so cute I hope they made out one night really drunk when they were younger that was ,y first thought when they held hands. I absolutely love Holdo’s hair. Reys outfit in the throne room is so cool. She’s so strong, Ben is trying so hard to keep it together in the back. Theres no way Snoke bridged their minds. Ben got so scared when he said that. “No” she’s so strong. Ben looks so sad. Oscar Issacs ass is fine! John is really good in this scene and Rose’s scream is terrifying. Murder in Bens eyes. Its really scary that Snoke has so much control over Rey. Rey with Bens saber is all I ever needed. Bens gloved fingers are v sexy. Also THAT FLICK! When they look at each other they know, there in love. THIS FIGHT IS EVERYTHING! When DJ saids “maybe” I felt that. They are so powerful together. I love watching them fight together, can’t wait for the 9! Ben fighting off 3 guards is so hot. Rey dropping her saber and backhanding ir is really hot. Wow this moment is so intense its so quiet. Im so mad Ben didn’t stop the fleet though. The way he saids Rey, why are both of their voices so hot. I need Rey to tell him off in the next movie the way he’s telling off her parents. “Please” murders me. Rey is so smart, she knows he isn’t good yet. This is Rey’s moment of “I know what I have to do” Its crazy that Rose and Finn almost died by being beheaded! The silent part is so beautiful. Why was Phasma so far away? BB-8 in that thing is pretty weird though. Finn is so powerful. He’s super reckless in this film. Rose is so good I want to be her and slide hug her. “Rebel scum” is such a good line. Snokes lower body falling off the throne is super graphic. Ben is so mad Rey left. I can’t wait to see more of soft Ben, I don’t like him choking Hux even though its Hux. Rose and Finn are very lucky they made it below that door. I think everyone always thinks of Rose and Finn as cute and funny, but they are honestly serious and smart. So many people died in this movie. I don’t understand how they aren’t wearing goggles if its salt, they would be crying right now. This run takes a lot more time then it is distance wise. Its so pretty though, so I don’t care. Rey and Chewy saving the day is my favorite thing. “Wooh I like this!” so cute. I love watching Rey shoot. The crystal creatures are so pretty. Finn no! Yes Rose! “I saved you… dummy. Thats how were gonna win, not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” Rose is right everyone! Listen up! Why does Ben say “no prisoners”, maybe he is bad? I love Reylo I don’t understand I believe in Ben. Is he lying to himself? Could he actually kill his mother? Luke and Leia are so sweet. Also their conversation about Ben makes everything more confusing, so he’s not gone? Aw Luke kissing Leia’s forehead is really sweet. Lukes wink is funny. This music is so good. Finn taking care of Rose is my favorite thing. The editing is so beautiful. Rey in snow >>>> Also “Lifting rocks” how does she know thats what normal Jedi start training with? Ben is such a baby in this scene, he’s so upset. I love that Rey and Finn normalize intimate friendship. Ben is the truest definition of a ‘Dark Prince’ if Ive ever seen one. I’m really glad Luke died here, its time, the sunset it really nice. 

Bens eyes say it all here. Chewy and Leia so sweet. Reys smile is so AWW. Finn putting a blanket on Rose is the best. Rey knows she’s thinking about Ben. “We have everything we need” I bet Leia had a big part in 9 I’m so sad Carrie is gone :(

This last scene with the kids is really the perfect ending, HOPE.