#like i'm trying to just chug along and power through it but i just feel like im running on fumes

[ranger-kellyn]

.

[y3nze1]

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍 | c.4

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: I / II / III / IV / V / VI

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Short continuation chapter! Happy Readings!

You fell silent, your eyes focused onto his as he stared up at the stars, You couldn't help but smile at his response. You felt your heart beat a little faster at the image of yourself along his side.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy towards yourself, and towards the fact that Alastor felt so strongly about her, yet considering daisy and you are one person.

"She sounds wonderful," you said, your voice soft and full of meaning, "I can't imagine how she makes you feel. You must really love her." You paused for a moment, wondering if your words were too forward. You didn't want to seem desperate or needy, but you couldn't help it..

Alastor looked at you, his eyes full of intensity. "I love her immensely, more than words can describe. She's my everything, my world." He took a step closer to you, his voice low. "And now.. I want to find out more about you.. Y/n, tell me about yourself." He leaned in closer.

You felt your heart flutter at his words, his voice full of a deep sort of longing. You leaned in a little, feeling his warm breath brushing against your face. You felt a tingle run through your body as he leaned closer.

You took a deep breath, feeling your head spinning from the alcohol and the proximity to him. "What.. what do you want to know?" you asked, feeling a sense of nervousness well up inside of you. You didn't really know what to say, you hadn't really thought this far ahead.

"anything you can offer me, if that's alright with you." his smile widened, you looked away for a moment. staring blankly at your feet.

"well, how about this.. I am Y/n, I'm not.. duchess or any kind of noble, no parents, no riches, and no woman of power at any sorts.. and all i could ever offer.. is an infinite amount of my love.."

You couldn't help but blush at his words. You never thought that someone would be able to express such deep feelings towards you, you had never felt so loved and cared for by someone before. It was a feeling that you couldn't really put into words, but it felt like a warm, cozy blanket wrapped around you.

"That's all I could ever ask for," you said, your voice soft and gentle, "an infinite amount of your love is all I need. I don't care about riches or power, I just want someone who cares about me and loves me for who I am."

Alastor smiled at you, his eyes looking deep into yours. "Then i hope someone will truly be that person for you, my dear..".

ೀ.ᐟ⭒๋࣭

The sound of a bell rang loudly from an old clock stuck at the hotel, Angel groaned at its ringing.

"ugh.. shit, I fucking hate that clock since it got here". Loralie chuckled at the sight, thinking to herself. "well.. i think it's neat" She muttered, chugging down the whiskey in her glass, setting it down to the side after.

"what about the story?! finish it!" Niffty grit her teeth in excitement, bouncing up and down on her chair leaving a happy sigh on Charlie's face. "well, what happened then? it ended just like that?" Charlie spoke, scratching her scalp gently. Loralie stared down at her glass for a moment.

"my memory's kind of foggy about it, it's been a long time since i told this story."

"That's okay, take your time," Charlie said, smiling warmly at Loralie. "I just love hearing you tell stories, they're always so fascinating."

As Niffty bounced anxiously on her chair, Charlie reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"Don't worry, Niffty, Loralie will finish the story when she's ready." Niffty grumbled and crossed her arms, but didn't say anything more as she looked up at Loralie expectantly.

Loralie took a deep breath and looked down at her glass, trying to gather her thoughts. "Right, where did I leave off... oh yes.. shit, I'll just try and pick up what i can remember from here."

ೀ.ᐟ⭒๋࣭

You nodded, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort wash over you as he spoke. "I hope so too," you said quietly, feeling a sense of sadness wash over you. You knew that you weren't likely to find someone that would love you as much as Alastor loved Daisy.

"Do you really think there's someone out there for me?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You felt your eyes start to well up with tears as you spoke.

"Of course," he said, taking your hand and gently caressing it. "There is always someone out there for everyone, you just have to keep looking." He leaned in close to you, his voice low and soft. "And until then, i could be of company with you, maybe guide you even.." Alastor whispered. "as for, i suppose I'll keep listening to daisy's call in the meantime. but I'll set my heart aside for her."

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you as he spoke. It felt nice to know that Alastor would be there for you, even if it was just as a friend. You felt your heart aching at his words, wondering if you'd ever find someone who loved you as much as he loved Daisy.

"Thank you," you said softly, looking up at him. "That means a lot to me, Alastor. You've been so kind to me, and I appreciate it more than you know." You reached out and touched his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin. "And I'll always be here for you too, if you ever need a friend."

The silence continued, only broken off the sound of Loralie looking for you, you finally excused yourself, heading over towards her. "Loralie! Hold on, I'm here!" you called out, seeing you, she grabbed your hand. pulling you through the crowd.

"we're goin home. now." she sounded angry, you wondered. wanting to ask her, "what happened? Loralie, tell me." you reached out to her, yet she pulled you through the crowd instead, once the two of you got inside the car. she set her bag aside. groaning.

"Loralie.. what happened?" you asked as she whined. "ugh! there's this girl. absolutely sassy, ugh, i swear I'll knock that arrogance out of her" you let out small chuckle, patting her back. "I'll leave you to it then"

You watched as Loralie's mood shifted from anger to happiness in an instant. She was always able to turn around her emotions in seconds, and it was one of the things you admired most about her. You chuckled at her words, amused by her reaction.

"Oh, Loralie," you said, shaking your head playfully. "Don't let her get to you. She's not worth your time or energy."

Loralie sighed, letting out an exaggerated moan before turning to you. "I know, but it's just so frustrating, you know?"

You nodded, understanding her frustration. "I do. But sometimes, it's better to just let it go. Don't feed into her negativity, and she'll eventually stop."

Loralie seemed to consider your words for a moment before nodding in agreement. "You're right. Thanks for always being there for me, you're a real friend," she said with a small smile.

You smiled back, happy to have been able to help. "Of course, Loralie. That's what friends are for."

[groovesnjams]

16 / 50

"Devotion" by Arlo Parks

MG:

I guess the worst thing about the Smashing Pumpkins was that every teenager who listened to Siamese Dream didn’t start a band. Maybe you think I’m being ironic here because it’s not exactly like we’re lacking for chugging, buzz bin revival groups – the wave rolls in every, oh, ten years, right on schedule and in that limited way, sure, “Devotion” washes over the same sand that “Belong” by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart did in 2011 and they’re both crashing against Billy Corgan’s beach, and all that. But (and, listen, I admit, I love all these songs, I love anything with fuzzy guitars and fucked up feelings) I think Arlo Parks gets closer to the spirit, the power, the transcendence of Midwestern pop grunge. You know why? Because she admits she’s faking it, pretending to be in a rock band with her producers and co-writers for a day after listening to “17 Days” by Prince while riding in a car. I can think of nothing that captures the experience of being young and stuck and overfull of big emotions than riding in a car and imagining you and your friends are in a band, just like the one playing over the stereo. The rest of My Soft Machine doesn’t sound like “Devotion” and I think both are better off for it. The whole of the record is unburdened, free to grow and shift and build a fully realized world and “Devotion” is distilled, essential, and potent. While it’s not the best reinterpretation of the Smashing Pumpkins we were treated to this year, it is the best ode to all the kids in cars, driving around because it’s the only place they’re allowed to just be.

DV:

As a strong believer in the lofty pop tradition of "faking it", I'm interested in what "faking" means in the modern era. Because on one hand you have AI-generated productions, with their dead eyes and nursery rhymes and planet-destroying energy consumption. They're fakes trying to be real, a dead rat buried in a collection of Shein dresses. And on the other you have "type beat" productions, over a decade old and now an established part of the music ecosystem, a sort of marketing tactic that's arguably been most successful in lowering the value of production work by creating a glut of #content at the expense of quality (the music equivalent of SEO blogs.) But what Arlo Parks is doing with "Devotion" isn't either of those types of fakes - it's just plain old rock 'n' roll, as old as the genre and older still, hearing something cool and trying to do it yourself even though you don't quite know how. We're long past the point of hearing type-beat masterpieces, and I'm skeptical but can admit it's theoretically possible to make something great with AI. "Devotion" is just straight up classic rock, the oldest thing under the sun made fresh again because we're a dozen newer things - good and bad - along. I hear Pixies more than Pumpkins, but that's also unmistakably Prince running through the low end. And that alchemy of parts where Arlo Parks makes a great song: faking is entirely forgivable, especially when the end result is something you've never quite heard before.

[abrushwithdeath]

🎉❤️ obviously he can't let his girl not get a new year's kiss

@lediableblanc-amoureuxdechats

It's not like they hadn't already spent a good portion of the evening stealing kisses, obviously, but once 11pm hit, there were no more kisses to be had. Not until midnight, at least. Anna Marie had declared as such just a few minutes past ten because she wanted that kiss at midnight to feel... a little more special, maybe? Actually, she wasn't sure what she'd been thinking and, by the time 11:30 rolled around she was already regretting it. (Who knew an hour could be so damn long?)

She supposed she could have rolled back her decision part way through the hour. She doubted that Remy would complain (though he might tease her some about it). But she was stubborn. Even when she was a little bit tipsy, and even when Remy was pressed so close she could feel the brush of his stubble against her cheek- she was still stubborn. No kisses. She could hold back. Just for the hour, she could hold back. They'd gone so long without kissing before all this that she'd thought it would be easy. Clearly, she was wrong.

But midnight would come eventually. And with it, the start of a new year. To some, that meant a chance to change. An excuse to try to flip their lives right side up and get their shit together. For some, when they inevitably slipped up a month or two in, they'd say to themselves "there's always next year" and fall back into the same patterns as always. Maybe that's why Anna Marie rarely thought of this transition as something so transformative. The calendar reset to "01/01", but your life kept right on chugging along like nothing had changed. It was all in your head. So why not make the effort to make changes on March 12th? Or June 22nd? Or even November 8th at 10pm with a whiskey sour in one hand and blind optimism curled in the palm of the other?

A glance at the clock post-conversation with Logan and Ororo suggested she only needed to wait out 7 more minutes before she'd be kissing him again. Yet she hadn't even though to ask him about what this all meant to him until right here, right now, the ice clinking in the now slightly watered down alcohol at the bottom of her glass. "Got any New Year's resolutions?" She asked Remy, reaching up to brush the satin of her glove along the slope of his jaw. Even through the thin fabric of the glove, she could feel the light prickle of his not-quite-so-freshly shaven facial hair against the pads of her fingers. It sent a little tingle through her. The thought of her lips, her teeth, brushing against the same path her fingers were now following...

Her only resolution was a long standing one, not something that came new and fresh with the changing of the year. She wanted to get this fully under control. She wanted to be able to touch every inch of him, to press her naked body against his. Nothing left between them. But it was more than that: she wanted to let some of the fear go. It would never leave her entirely, she was sure- you don't live as long as she has playing it careful just for that anxiety to disappear overnight. It was about controlling her powers some, yeah, but it was a lot about the mental work, too. And the mental work was a bitch. So she supposed she wouldn't beat herself up over it if the end of this coming year saw her without full control. Still, though, it was a nice thought to think that by the time 2025 rolled in, she'd have it figure out. She told Remy as such, too. Not because he ever pressured her, but because this was something that was entirely within her reach, she thought. "This year, I'm gonna play optimistic. Ain't served me none in the past to be broodin', right? And I suppose ya've proven ya ain't goin' nowhere..." She tapped her finger against his lips with that.

3 minutes to midnight.

"Guess we'll jus' strap in an' see where the years leads," Then, just to tease him some. "Could strap-on, too, if yer willin'..." The words were blatant enough, she didn't need to explain any further. Though she did follow them with a soft chuckle, even if it wasn't intended to detract from the seriousness of her words. After all, it's not like they hadn't discussed it before.

The final countdown started up soon after and she didn't hesitate to get a grip on his tie and tug him nice and close. Her green eyes locked on the red of his and she swore she could feel the sound, the rhythm, of every second tapping inside of her like a living thing. If they'd come this far in a year, she wondered how much further they could make it with another to follow. And hopefully another after that. And plenty more even beyond then.

"5!" Her fingers tightened their grip on that tie just a bit. "4!" And she was leaning up a bit with anticipation. "3!" Every nerve was a live wire- like there was electricity crackling in her veins. "2!" Last year's kiss had been short lived. Much shorter than either would have liked. "1!" This year, though? This year, he'd be hard pressed to get her to stop.

She slipped her arms around his neck and pressed herself up against him as their lips met. Forget everything and everyone else. Nothing beyond them existed. At least not for now. She hoped he'd caught his breath beforehand because Anna Marie had no plans on letting him actually stop anytime, soon. Not with the way she was kissing him right now with fingers in his hair and lips parting. She was gonna keep this up until her lungs were screaming or her powers kicked in. Whichever happened first. And, much to her surprise, it was the need to catch her breath that had won out. (It made her wonder just how much more she could do when she wasn't letting herself worry or overthink it all too much...)

The next kiss was smaller, a quick little kiss to accompany a now long overdue "Happy New Year". One which was soon followed by the reminder that they were still, upsettingly, not all alone. Though it was good that they were near the back of the room- she didn't much like the idea of winding up as the center of attention. "Whatcha say we get outta here? Ring in the New Year in a more... excitin' way..."

[iheartgracie]

soft shannon lynch quotes in keeping 13

“Little Shannon," he replied with a wink. "You good?" I nodded weakly.

"Damn straight you are," he said, tone encouraging. "Little fighter.”

“Claire beamed at me. "Girl, my pride levels are so high right now they could not possibly be measured." She took my hands in hers and squeezed. "How does it feel to finally stick up for yourself and win?”

“She was so strong, so resilient, and she didn't even know it. I couldn't imagine going through what she had and just getting back up again. But here she was, ready to put her trust in me, leaving her house this evening even though her father was still around. I mean, that had to fuck with her head, right? But she didn't let it take her down. The girl was the definition of fall down seven times and stand up eight. No matter what seemed to be thrown her way, she always dusted herself off, climbed back up on her feet, and tried again.”

“You know, I still remember how I felt the first time I took a shower in this house," she said then, smiling softly to herself. "I just stood in your bathroom for the longest time and listened."

"To what?"

"The silence."

"Shan…"

"It's hard to explain," she hurried to explain. "But I never wanted to leave that bathroom, because I felt safe – I feel safe with you.”

I like you because you're you, Shannon. I've never met another girl like you."

I scrunched my nose up. "You mean another girl as screwed up as me."

"No, I mean a girl as kind, and caring, and trustworthy, and loyal as you," he countered gruffly. "And beautiful? Jesus Christ, you are so fucking beautiful that it's painful to look at you. I've never seen anything like you in my life.”

“She looked fucking adorable as she ran several yards up the beach with the rugby ball in her small hands. Her wooly hat and scarf swamped her face and that mountain of dark hair was blowing around her, with wet clumps sticking to her rosy cheeks.”

“I swear, I had never seen anything so fucking beautiful. Freedom suited her.”

“Well, well, well," Shannon taunted from further up the beach a little while later. Bouncing the ball in her hands, she gleamed at me. "Looks like I win again."

“I don’t even have a license. Not even a tractor license. I'm sixteen, Johnny, and this is an expensive car. Oh god, I'm going to kill us both!"

"No, you're not," I coaxed. "You're going to smash this."

"Yeah," Shannon strangled out. "Into a tree, Johnny!”

“I'm not sure about this, Johnny," she muttered, sitting so close to the wheel that her nose was kissing the windscreen, as the car chugged along. "This is nothing like GTA.”

“Please god, Shannon, just slow it down."

"What's wrong, tough boy?" she teased. "Are you scared?"

“I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I'd had the best evening with him, and now I knew how to drive. Me. I could actually drive a real car. I had no idea what spurred him to take me out in his car earlier, but I wasn't regretting it. I felt so free behind the wheel, and having that much power was such a thrilling rush.”

“Do I have to go down there?" I whispered, shaking. "I'm scared."

"What are you scared of, Shannon?" she coaxed. "Hmm? Nothing's going to hurt you again, darling."

"Reality," I admitted. "Facing everyone."

"Reality can be daunting," she agreed, taking my hand in hers. "And facing it can be worse, but you're a strong girl." Smiling at me, she added, "And you can do this, Shannon Lynch. I know you can.”

“Shan, you were so amazing these last few days," Johnny replied gruffly. "I don't know where that strength comes from, but it's so humbling." He shook his head and blew out a breath. "I don't even have the words to tell you how fucking incredible you are, Shannon Lynch."

"I'm not an incredible anything, Johnny," I croaked out. "I'm just trying to keep my head above water and not drown."

"You won't drown – you're a survivor," he told me.”

“What did I tell you about those exams? It doesn't matter what marks you get." Cupping my face in her hands, she smiled down at me. "We won't even have to open the results when they come because they don't matter, pet. A score on a piece of paper tells me nothing, but you rising back up and returning to school to finish out the year and sit in that classroom tells everything about the wonderful, strong girl you are. And you make me prouder than any exam results could.”

“Johnny's a good boy, Shannon," she continued. "He truly is, but he loses his head around you."

Embarrassed, I clasped my hands together and swallowed down a whimper. "I'm sorry?" I finally offered, not knowing what else to say. "For taking his head?”

“She was laughing and smiling, and all golden-tanned, and that beautiful brown hair was loose and blowing in the light breeze.”

[funtimebunnyblog]

Me: *receives this request*

Me: *sips my 3rd coffee of the day from my raccoon mug in the pitch dark of my room* 

Me: My time has come...

Pillarmen (separate) with a coffee addicted, sarcastic, career focused s/o (who doesn’t get enough sleep)...

(under the cut for length!)

Kars:

"Have you eaten today?" The Pillarmen questioned you, looming over your desk in the dark of your Office.

"Yes." You answered simply, not bothering to tear your eyes from the laptop screen or the sea of words it held sitting before you. Kars however knew better than to leave it at just that, folding his arms across his chest as he cocked an eyebrow.

Kars frowned to himself as his eyes took in your workspace, trying not to focus on the fact that was littered with disorganized papers, food wrappers and a few empty mugs.

He would never let his desk degenerate into something even close to this mess.

"Alright. What did you eat?"

Kars clicked his tongue, letting out the sigh he knew he was going to make upon making the decision to check in on you in the first place. He had known very well this conversation would be steered into a direction like this.

A silence fell over the room, your the clicking of keyboard keys stalling for the briefest second before resuming.

"Coffee." Came the answer.

"Coffee is NOT a meal." He said curtly.

"I know it's not a meal, it's a vegetable." You replied without missing a single beat.

He pursed his lips, "Now what makes you say that?"

"It came from beans."

"Something to eat first, then you may finish your work. And then it's straight to bed with you." He ordered, carrying you downstairs to the kitchen. It was late and he knew that if he didn't set these boundaries you would be hunched over, typing away at your messy little desk all hours of the night.

Without another word you were picked up out of your office chair like nothing more than a common house cat and thrown over his shoulder, the massive man rolled his eyes as you whined that you had only a couple more pages to do and you were trying to finish.

He ignored your protests as much as he disregarded the sluggish pounds of your fists on his backside.

Needless to say, he didn't want a repeat of last time that happened. Coffee and redbull brew was a potent mixture he wanted to keep out of your reach from now on, no matter how tired you claimed to be.

"Ok, Mom." You bit back, finally giving up on your futile squirming for the night. You shot him your best glare as he set you down on the kitchen counter, the rings under your bleary eyes only becoming more prominent as he once again ignored your words and your stare, getting right into fixing you something quick to eat.

Kars wasn't a person to be spoken to in that way by anyone (they never usually lived long enough to get such remarks out) but you were much different of course. In fact, your sharp tongue was easily matched by his quick wit; it only made you an even stronger pair to be reckoned with in his opinion.

With only a quirk of his lips as a response to your sarcastic quip, a cookie was shoved into your mouth.

"Here. Perhaps this will sweeten up your sour, my child." He said, now fully getting on your level as he busied himself making you a sandwich.

A smile curled at the corners of your full mouth as you chewed away, your demeanor just a little lighter as sweet chocolate goodness tickled your senses. However, chocolate did little to coat the silver of your tongue.

"Bite me." You spat playfully, a few crumbs escaping your lips along with the words.

"You know better than to threaten me with a good time, dearest." Kars responded, not even lifting his eyes from the cutting board as he sliced away at a cucumber.

You nearly choked on the sweet you were savoring as you doubled over in laughter, making Kars smile to himself in triumph.

Esidisi:

"What are you doing?" Esidisi watched you with curious interest as you began to depart from the kitchen, just seconds after making your entrance, the entire pot of black coffee he had just prepared in your hand.

The steaming pot of rich and buzzing Caffeine was snatched from your grasp in a fraction of a second, you blinked to find squirming tendrils of veins spiriting it away back to your Husband.

"I'm flipping oyster burgers for the King of Spain, what does it look like?" You asked without even a thought, an impressive feat as it seemed like you were mere seconds away from falling over.

Disheveled wasn't even a word to describe your appearance. Your hair in disarray and wearing the same clothes as you had yesterday; you looked like you had been put through the ringer not once but a few times.

"Hey!" You cried, fully turning on him. It only made the smirk at the corner of his mouth grow as you advanced on him, stomping angrily as you went; inevitably you were only making yourself more adorable in his eyes. "Give that back! I need to get some work done!"

Taking the entire pot with you was the most elegant solution in your eyes rather than coming back downstairs every so often to refill your mug. You definitely needed the quantity of this pot if you wanted to stay awake any longer to complete your workload.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast little oyster flipper!" He laughed, holding the pot far out of your reach and pushing you at arms length as you attempted to make a grab for it.

Esidisi was always amused by your fiery determination when it came down to your work and the lengths you went through to get it done but he knew when enough was enough.

"What I want to know is, did you get any sleep last night?" He questioned, a bare brow raising; a look betraying his genuine concern for you in the midst of his jest.

The Pillarman was not going to let you take the pot of coffee all the way back to your office to chug like an oversized movie soda as you pushed through more piles of papers. You had been up there practically three days straight, basically just surviving on the stuff at this point.

If you weren't going to take care of yourself, he supposed he'd just have to do it for you.

"Er... uh..."

You blinked slowly, the raw stinging of your eyes didn't quite help you in forming a convincing response.

You could've swore you nodded off once, maybe twice, at your desk sometime in the middle of the night but you weren't sure for how long exactly. It probably didn't even come close to qualifying as "sleep" in terms of rest.

"Mm-hmm. That's what I thought." He hummed, putting the pot of coffee back in its rightful place. A sound of surprise managed to escape your lips as he picked you up, carrying you out of the kitchen like you were nothing more than a toddler.

"Wh-Where are we going?" You questioned, blinking stupidly and trying to recover from your slight shock.

"Hmm, not Spain. Sorry, you won't be flipping any burgers today, my little spit-fire." He responded, his tone fluid enough to rival your second-nature sarcasm.

Your lips came together, squirming in his hold as you connected the dots. "I can't go to bed! I still have woooork!" You whined, pushing against him as if that would do anything in his powerful grasp. "I'm not tired!"

"Really? Oh, you could've fooled me." He chuckled, the rumbling of his chest against yours only making sleepy shivers dance through your body.

"I just need some coffee! That's all, c'mon!"

"No more coffee for you. You drank enough to last you a fortnight, yesterday."

He was so warm and comfortable, a much better feeling than any sized mug of coffee you could guzzle down would leave you; your fidgeting had come to a complete stop without you realizing it.

"I just..." You were cut off by a yawn forcing its way out of you. "...just a few more... p-papers..."

"Not today you're not." He chided softly, a hand rubbing tender little circles into your back with heated fingers. You knew that he knew it was only making you more sleepy (not to mention more frustrated) by the second. "You're having a sleep, something proper to eat later and a shower and then you can work and drink all the coffee you want."

Just a few more papers. Just a few more papers.... Just a few more papers.... Just... a few... more...

By the time Esidisi had reached the top of the stairs, your struggle had ceased all together and you had fallen limp in his arms; completely and utterly asleep.

The litany in your head fell silent as your eyelids drooped, losing yourself in the warmth of your Husbands embrace as the swaying of his movement rocked you as he walked along.

So many cheeky things you wanted to say died like flickering embers in your brain, unable to escape your lips this time.

Wamuu:

"Beloved?" The Warrior pushed open the door to your office, peering into the dark room with a frown. "Are you in here?"

"No. I'm on the Moon." Your voice (sounding a little worn but still holding that familiar pinch of playfulness) cut through the dark, coming right from your desk where you were hunched over and drawing away; the dim light from your tablet was the only thing cutting through the shadows of your cave.

He couldn't help but notice it was the exact spot he had left you when he departed early this morning to go do some training.

Warm, golden light shrouded you and your cluttered desk area, making you blink in surprise. You hadn't really realized that it had gotten dark at all and for the briefest of seconds you wondered how late exactly it had gotten; you shook your head quickly as you regained your focus on your work.

Nonetheless, Wamuu smiled softly and entered your workspace. It was an easy feat for the Pillarman to make his way through despite the darkness cloaking the room as he had most excellent night vision.

However, upon reaching your side, he reached over and flicked on your table lamp. He knew that the dark wasn't exactly doing your Human vision much good.

"Thank you." You mumbled, swiping your digital pen across the screen with slow and careful movements.

Wamuu hummed softly, leaning over you with a curious eye to see your work better.

"That looks very nice." He commented, the corners of his full lips tugging into a sweet smile as he admired your handiwork. You never ceased to amaze him with your little drawings and sketches.

You needed to get this piece done by the weekend and you wanted it done today so it could be out of your way. Each slip up of your hand or a line only made you feel more exhausted and more picky, lines overlapped and blurred and you could no longer take in the picture anymore; just your mistakes and its flaws.

A tired sigh escaped your lips, "I just can't get the shading right. I think I've had to redo it 8 times now..." you grumbled, only getting increasingly frustrated at the setback, a hand unconsciously reaching up to scrub at your eye.

Your eyeballs were starting to burn from focusing on the screen too long, a feeling much akin to being rubbed raw with sandpaper.

"Have you been drawing all day?" He questioned, turning his gaze down to the crown of your head with worry.

The Warriors smile fell as he took in your awry state more closely, he definitely didn't miss the umpteen mugs of coffee littering your space (some of which were only half-finished and long gone cold by now).

Did you even move at all while he had been gone? When was the last time you showered? Ate? Changed your clothes?

Really it was the best answer you could give, all you knew was that it was dark and you were sore and tired and your hand was cramping... so it was more than likely you had spent the entirety of the day working.

Once again, your movements stalled before slowly regaining focus, your movements slothy and lacking your usual grace.

"I guess..." you answered lamely.

Again.

Wamuu shook his head, you had been drawing all night last night and you had promised to go to bed after he kissed you goodbye this morning. It was obvious you forgot your promise and kept working.

The drawing tablet was easily plucked from your grasp, making you jump in surprise and reflexively make a grab for it.

"Wamuu-- wha--?!"

"This won't do." He said, quickly hitting the save button on your piece of art as he pulled the tablet further from your reach. "You're done for today."

"What? No! I--" You made an attempt to snatch it back but the hulking man wasn't having any of it, gazing down at you with stern double-ringed emeralds.

For now, he was taking matters into his own hands.

"No. You've worked far too long. Look at you beloved, you've become nothing but a shell!" He chastised, walking past you and placing your tablet on the highest shelf of your office; far, far from your reach.

You would only get it back once you were rested and cared for.

He pushed open the bathroom door with careful ease, not even struggling as he held you and set you down on the toilet.

You were picked up with ease, cradled in the Warriors arms like he was rescuing you from the battlefield as he marched out of the room. Your whines and cries and pleas to be put down went ignored, even as you pounded weakly on his chest.

You had originally thought he was taking your straight to the bedroom to put you down for a sleep but no, he walked right past the room without even a passing glance.

"Sit there." He told you, pressing a tender kiss to your head; the softness of his actions rendering you silent. "Let me handle this."

Your previous protests, your frustrations and any and all thoughts to your work had died all together by the time you two had stripped and were sitting comfortably in the warm scented water.

You blinked, watching him as he puttered around the bathroom; filling the tub with warm water and adding a generous portion of your favorite bathsoap, making a luscious and soothing scent fill the air and your senses.

A warm bath together would do you both some good, he was a little rumpled from training all day himself and you were worn down from your own work. Wamuu always enjoyed washing your hair and bathing together was always a good de-stressor in his eyes.

"You're too persuasive," you remarked, the words coming out as more of a sigh as he combed his fingers through your damp hair.

You hated to admit it but this was just what you needed; you could literally feel all the stress and overwork just washing away with the water rolling over you.

Wamuu chuckled softly, squeezing some of your favourite shampoo into his huge palm. "And You're negligent of your own needs. But don't worry, that's why I'm here..."

Santana:

"You are tired."

"I'm not tired!" You groaned, the exasperation in your voice was short-lived as the corners of your lips quirked up into a teeny grin. "...I'm y/n."

Santana tilted his head, pursing his lips. Usually you would chuckle at his obvious confusion (Santana still couldn't quite grasp puns and dry humor like sarcasm well, despite it being something you used more than often) but today you were too busy to sit down and explain it, let alone spend any time with him.

You still had work to pick at upstairs and judging by how things were going, you weren't going to be done anytime soon.

It didn't help the fact that Santana was becoming increasingly worried about you; he had caught you pouring yourself a bowl of orange juice and a glass of cereal this morning when you begrudgingly trudged downstairs for breakfast. The growling of your stomach neglecting its needs had become too unbearable.

Either way; you weren't going to let the fact you haven't seen a bed (or a fresh change of clothes) in days stop you.

"I just need to get some work done, Santana..." you sighed, emptying the pot of coffee into your mug. "I have a deadline at the end of the week."

"Sleep is for the weak." You replied, bringing the steaming mug to your lips for the first sip.

"You have not slept in days." He pointed out, the deep timber of his voice rumbling around the room. You could feel his eyes staring into your back as you fumbled around the kitchen.

Damn him for being so perceptive.

"Your kind is very weak." Came the immediate and factual response. "You require sleep to function and survive."

Like it or not, he was spitting straight facts.

You nearly choked on the gulp of hot liquid, it burned in your throat as his words hit you. Your mate watched as you opened your mouth and fumbled with a response to conteract that statement; ultimately having nothing.

It was always hard to argue when you felt so sluggish, your brain running just as well as an old windows computer, let alone when Santana stood there blinking so innocently.

You groaned, shuffling out of the room; mug in hand and the migrane you had been trying to rid of slowly regaining its pounding pulse in your temples.

"Oh honey, I'll be fine..." you whined, trying to ignore his eyes still watching you as you began your slothy trek up the stairs. "I may be a 'Primitive lifeform' but I can handle a little work."

The Pillarman watched you go, frowning to himself as you disappeared up the stairs; the hard shut of the door to your office the only sound following your exit.

Your energy was very low, he had only seen you eat a handful of times and it seemed like you were running into walls and doors more often than the average Human lately.

Santana was getting worried.

The hours of the morning ticked bye, eventually Noon rolled around and then passed and you didn't come down for lunch (or more coffee). The primal instincts of protecting you as his mate inevitably kicked in and Santana found himself at the door to your office, peering in with a curious eye.

There he was met with the sight of you slumped over at your desk, your back rising and falling slowly and rhythmically. The sounds of your soft breath hit his sharp ears, even from all the way across the room, and he found himself wandering in, coming right up beside you where you lay crumpled.

You stirred slightly, making his hair stand on end as a groan barely passed your lips before you settled down again, resuming your quiet snoring.

Upon further inspection he found your eyes were closed, cheek smooshed right against the wood of the desk and papers sticking uncomfortably to your face. Even your pen was still gripped in hand.

His eyes skimmed over some loose papers, nothing but meaningless words and numbers scrawled across the white without rhyme and reason to him but always it held some deeper meaning to you; your supposed work.

Your coffee had barely been touched, gone cold and sitting quite forlorn among the foodwrappers and empty water bottles and papers scattered across your workspace. Santana reached for the mug, sniffing curiously at the coal black liquid sloshing around inside. Throughout all the time he had known you, you always had a strange attachment to this drink; you claimed it was what kept you functioning.

Curiosity got the best of him and he brought it to his lips for a taste, wondering the exact appeal of it. He shuddered, growling, almost spitting the shallow mouthful of it out and turning his head away as the bitter and cold liquid overwhelmed his senses as it slipped down his throat...

Disgusting.

He brought the mug to his mouth again, unable to stop himself as he dove in for his second taste; doing the very same thing as before.

Not bad, actually.

The red-haired Pillarman pulled the mug close a third time, throwing his head back gulping back the liquid as if his life depended on it. Licking his lips and blinking rapidly, he cradled the now empty mug to his bare chest as his nostrils flared and toes curled, riding out the waves of it overpowering his senses.

It was so terrible but so good at the same time; so good he didn't want it to end but so terrible he wished the bitter and overpowering aftertaste would leave his tongue.

He turned his attention back to you, with a tilt of his head. You were still sleeping, nonethewiser to his very presence; it was likely you would stay that way for some time.

With only a moments thought he shuffled out of the room quickly, returning just moments later with a blanket and pillow in tow.

You needed your sleep to function, as he had told you, so he would leave you to it as he went downstairs to prepare more of that delicious "coffee" for when you woke.

With all the carefulness in the world, a massive hand slipped under you, lifting your face just inches off the had desk as he slipped the cushy pillow under you and let you down softly.

Gently, he draped the blanket over your back before leaning down, smoothing your hair and pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

He planned on having another mug himself.

Or two mugs.

Or five.

Or maybe three pots worth...

[foodieforthoughts]

Show Me the Light

Summary: She recently moved to Minneapolis and is a newly appointed sports teacher at Southern Cross High School, wanting to live life away from the big city of New York. On the first week of her arrival she (almost) crashes into Detective Walter Marshall which leads to his and her life being intertwined there on. It is not your regular meet-cute story but rather a tug of war between two people from opposite spectrum of life.

Pairing: Walter Marshall x OFC (Myra King)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: A slight description of a possible accident, smut in the future chapters.

A/N: Hello! After watching "Nomis" for the second time, I really started to feel the urge to write about our grumpy Detective Walter Marshall. I don't want to make it all angst, so bear with me if the OFC seems too cherry to be in the movie. Also, I do not want to face tag her, so let your imagination run free.

**Please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist**

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Title: Show Me the Light

Walter slammed the manilla folder on his desk, exasperated with the dead ends to the present case at hand. He stretched his arms in front of him, feeling his neck become stiff with the cold and his goddam posture was killing him.

"Dad?" Faye peaked in, draped in a shawl with her toothbrush in her hand.

"Are you going to bed now?" Walter's voice came out sterner than he intended to.

"No, I'm getting ready to go to school." She pointed towards the window in his office. Faint light of the rising sun was casting a glow from behind the curtains. "Did you stay awake the whole night?" She innocently asked.

Walter rubbed his eyes. He hadn't even realized how much time had passed since he had grabbed the case file last night. He had become so invested in it, he had completely missed bedtime. 'Not that sleep is important anyway.' He grunted, feeling the sore muscles in his back stretch as he stood up.

"I can call mom to drop me to school." His daughter offered. Her small frame looked tiny enveloped in her grey shawl, her nose pink with the cold.

"No, I'll just get some coffee. Have to go to the station anyway." Walter grunted again as he stretched his neck, rubbing a tender spot. "Go get ready."

He watched as his daughter retreated with a concerned look. Walter loved having his daughter around but it was mostly because he could keep one of his concerns at bay by keeping an eye on her. Grabbing his gun from the drawer and his badge lying on top of his table, he made his way downstairs to fix himself some strong coffee. He could feel the tiredness lingering in his muscles, but he had a job to get done. When he took the pledge to serve the public, he wholeheartedly meant it.

"So we got a new sports teacher." Faye pulled on her seat belt and buckled it over her body.

"What happened to the previous one?" Walter started the engine of his truck, the hunk of metal humming and warming in the cold. He let it run for a couple of seconds, rubbing his hands together as it touched the cold steering wheel.

"I don't know. He got old?" Faye chuckled.

Walter spared a smile. His daughter, the light of his life, made it a little less harder to live in this cruel world. They pulled out on the street and made their way towards the school.

It had snowed heavily last night. The sun shone brightly on the white landscape, making the snow twinkle like crystal. It was already peak office hour and thankfully Faye's school was not deep inside the city. Walter took out his sunglasses from his glove compartment, as the glint of the sun on the snow and the car windows were making his head hurt.

"Um... Dad? Is that coming our way?"

Walter looked up, squinting at the road as Faye pointed out in front of her. A black figure on a bike, the sound of its exhaust rumbling through the street and the metal parts shining in the sun, was making it's way towards them. The speed at which they were travelling and the slight tilting of its wheels from side to side hinted that the rider was losing it's balance.

"Oh, fuck!" Walter gripped his steering wheel tightly as the bike zoomed past his truck, barely missing the edge of the hood, and skidded along the slippery road to crash against the mount of ice gathered on the side. His truck made a grumble, the tires screeching as it tried to get a grip on the asphalt, coming to a jolting halt.

"Dad!" Faye had gripped her seat belt bracing for impact. "Oh my God! Are they alright?" She turned to look behind, watching the rider on the ground a few feet away from the bike.

"Are you okay?" Walter looked at his daughter. A whiplash injury was the last thing he wanted his daughter to suffer from. When Faye hurriedly nodded at him, his anger grew as he growled and opened his door to jump out and catch a hold of the irresponsible person who nearly crashed into him.

***

She was running late. Her second day on her job and she was freaking late.

Myra had hopped on her bike, chugging the last of her veggie smoothie and placing the bottle on the side pocket of her bag. Her brilliant black Benelli 900 SEI had looked stunning as always. She had dusted the few sprinkles of snow laying on it's tank, before kissing the cold metal handle bars.

"Don't disappoint me today, okay? You have been good so far." She had smiled at her bike dearly, remembering she still had to get it checked by a professional because of all the transportation it had had to go through. The sweet sound of its powerful engine coming to life, the exhaust emitting a rumble as she had revved it up a little, had made her heart swell.

Everything was working out fine. The city roads had been bustling with cars, but she had zoomed past them. Even though her bike belonged from the 70s, it still worked like a fine piece of metal. She had worn her faithful leather jacket, her biking gloves sat snuggly against her skin providing warmth in the cold weather.

Somewhere around the suburban part of the city, nearer to the school she worked at, her bike started to give off a clicking sound. Myra pressed on the breaks, feeling her speed coming down a little and her tires beginning to wobble on the road.

"Oh, fuck. No, no... " She prayed as the braking system seemed to be giving up on her. Her accelerometer showing her speed still above 20 mph. She was already crossing the speed limit inside the suburban region and was unable to do anything about it.

Her eyes widened as she spotted a big truck coming her way. She pressed down hard on the breaks, but she knew a crash was imminent now. Her eyes scanned about trying to look for an escape bay, spotting a heap of snow on the side of the road.

"Oh, God!" She turned her handle abruptly, missing the oncoming vehicle by mere inches, and let go of her bike as it skidded along the road and crashed on the snow. She slipped on the gravel for a couple of feet, trying to hold onto something to stop herself but failing miserably.

Myra groaned as she came to a halt, her head bumping against the road but saved by the helmet. Her heart raced like it was going to come out of her chest. Her feet and hands had gotten cold from the fear of crashing into the car, her breathing coming out ragged. She blinked several times, looking up at the sky through her black tinted glass hood of her helmet, swallowing the dryness in her throat.

"Hey!" Myra felt herself being yanked up by the collar of her jacket and came face to face with an angry, curly haired man. His eyebrows were scrunched together tightly and his lips, under the bush of his beard, was upturned in a sneer. "What the fuck just happened there?"

The zipper of her jacket dug at her throat, her feet dangling from the ground. The man was huge and powerful to have lifted her body up like she was nothing but a ragged doll. Myra placed her hands on his, trying to choke out a word. The insulated cover of her helmet and the air getting blocked from her throat was making her difficult to form words.

"W-wait... " She tried to speak but felt her lungs were straining for oxygen. The sound of the police siren made the burly man finally let go of her. She dropped to the ground on her knees, gasping for air and pulling her helmet off. She coughed as she leaned on the ground, placing her hands on the road breathing in through her mouth.

"Miss King?"

Myra looked up at the tiny voice of a girl coming from behind her. She recognized the girl from her class yesterday. Myra had helped her correct her posture while aiming for the goal when they had played soccer.

"You know her?"

The bearded man from before who had held her by the collar asked angrily. Myra looked over at him, his arms crossed over his chest, straining the fabric of his sweater over his muscles. She looked down at his waist and noticed the police badge clipped on his belt, his gun cocked in it's holster. She sat back on her knees, looking from one person to another.

"Yes! She's our new sports teacher."

Myra felt her cheeks heat as the grumpy man and the two police officers that had arrived later, looked down at her. Her gaze fell on her bike some few feet away, the hazy grey colour of smoke emiting from it, contrasting against the white sheet of snow.

"Take her to the station. Keep her there until I come back." He grumbled to the other two officers, throwing her a look of disgust and walking away with the girl behind her.

"Come on, Miss. Inside the car."

With a grunt from her aching muscles and joints, Myra stood up clutching her helmet in her hand and followed the men as they lead her to the police cruiser.

'Bloody fucking great!' She silently mumbled to herself as she sat on the backseat of the cruiser and watched the black truck she was going to crash into, drive away.

Tags: @wanderlustkitkat @michelehansel @stephartrave @yuhsophie @hennerslionhat @henrythickcavill @eldarwen333 @peakygroupie @klaine-92 @thelastsock @indigosaurus @oddsnendsfanfics @viking-raider @cavillliketravel @geralt-of-baevia @achaoticaugust @dancingwendigo @littlefreya @luclittlepond @mansaaay @agniavateira @inlovewithhisblueeyes @henryobsessed @henryfanfics101 @poucinette1333 @ohmygoodie @oolicity @luclittlepond @momowhoo @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @asyverson @singeramg @supersweetstache @demivampirew @cavills-cavalry @raspberrydreamclouds @ramblings-of-a-cavill-lover @fuckoffbard @filmforb @thiccgeralt @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog @iloveyouyen @inthenameofcavill @madbaddic7ed @b-j-d @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @henchry @feralrunaway @ohjules

[no-psi-nan]

Romance chapter 2 finally chugging along and I cranked out 1.2k of it yesterday! Only missing the final bits and they SHOULD be easy (knock on wood) because Kusuo & Mikoto banter is just tons of fun!

But now that I have my new Akechi icon, I'm feelin' the carnivore vibes and really really want to write more Akechi next!!! I have so many monologues locked and loaded lmao.

But my current options are:

Write gen Chapter 5, which should be fun but has zero Akechi in it (😭)

Write gen Chapter 6, which is the Psychicker Power Update continuation, but I like to mix things up in the gen fic and alternate between different groups of characters, and posting this one first would be chronologically fine but it would be 2 Psychickers chapters back to back. I also feel like it needs a little more percolating. I have an idea for Akechi to do in this one but idk if I want to do it in this chapter or in its own dedicated chapter. 🙄 By breaking the power update into 3 parts I guess... 🤔

Try to write romance Chapter 3, which does have Akechi in it BUT I haven't finished thinking through the central device, so it may take me 5ever because it just hasn't percolated enough. OTL

Write romance Chapter 5, which has Akechi AND KURIKO (!!!), that was the original chapter 3 but got pushed out because their relationship needed a little bit more development for what I have planned. Would it be too insane to post Chapter 5 as Chapter 3 and then swap the order later??

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Just wanna write some unhinged blocks of text and I shouldn't keep sneaking over to chapter 8 (my beloved) if I actually want to post things, rippppp...

[hms-no-fun]

do you ever deal with like... writers 8lock? how do you deal with that?

i do! quite often, in fact.

it's probably easy to look at the 30,000 words i've released in the last two weeks and think otherwise, but it's important to remember that i didn't release anything for a solid six months before this. when i finally got medicated again, the year i've spent thinking about this story while being mostly unable to get it on paper (for a multitude of reasons that can all be summarized with "it was 2020") just came flooding out of me. part of why i'm buckling down on this to the exclusion of almost everything else is because i know from experience that if i walk away for too long, all that energy will disappear and it'll be so much work to get it all back together again.

for me, writer's block is more of a math problem than anything. i was actually blocked on gf3 chapter 8 for a while because there are so many concurrent plot threads happening it's hard to keep them straight! i feel like half my job is just sitting here computing probabilities like a supercomputer that runs on pizza and filtered water.

a block can start anywhere. it can be "i don't know how to begin this story" or it can be "i don't know what should happen next" or "nothing i'm writing feels good." the blanket advice i would give for how to deal with a block is, of course, to keep writing anyway. you're never the best judge of the quality of your own work, especially when you're young. but i also know that this advice isn't really all that helpful, because i still get railroaded by blocks all the time. the difference is i've gotten pretty good at dealing with them in a timely manner.

i've described this feeling in other asks where i'll be writing a scene that's chugging along, and then something happens in the scene and suddenly i can't write anymore. the big example i always come back to is in gf2.2, when terezi lands on earth and tries to kill june. i originally ended that scene with terezi collapsing, june stealing her phone, and her and jade taking terezi to the hospital. and i actually sent that draft to a friend and she was like "this is great," but i wasn't convinced.

so i sat there for a bit and thought about what this story would look like if i followed that thread. did i really want to write a bunch of hospital scenes? did i really want to write an explicitly duplicitous june trying to cover up her actions? how would those things map onto the ideas i had for the future? and just from the shape of that story i could tell that, whether or not it was good in concept, the thought of writing it myself made me want to sleep for a thousand years.

and that's the thing, really. i think we railroad ourselves into scenes we don't want to write because they're the first thing we think of and we just kinda go with them. sometimes you just have to power through those scenes, but most of the time i've found that you can drop them in the trash or, at the very least, radically shift perspective in a way that makes them more interesting. writing is an expressive exercise and shouldn't feel like pulling teeth unless for whatever reason you feel like it has to. it's less about whether the writing is coming fast or slow and more about whether you think you're on the right track. and generally i've always been pretty good at telling if i'm on the right track. but like anything it's a skill that gets better with practice. hence: just write, damn it!

but then there are times like now, as i'm finishing up chapter 8.3.1, where i've just been staring at the damn thing for so long that i can no longer distinguish the good from the bad. that's why i brought other people on to check my corners. every time i write some clownshoes nonsense, i post snippets in our work server and ask if it's good. sometimes it is, sometimes it's on the right track but needs work, and sometimes it's totally off the mark. i like having people around me whose expertise in life as well as in homestuck specialty are different from my own.

a lot of times, working through a block is just a matter of talking it out. i've had SO many metaphysical conversations about godfeels deeplore that will probably never be made textually explicit, but they're important things for me to understand. often i find that a reason for a block has less to do with whether i know what is happening in a scene and more to do with whether i know why it's happening. because while writing i might have an idea like "ooh what if there's a spooky thing" and it fits in this esoteric sense. like i can tell that it's the right thing for this story. but now i've added a new wrinkle to the larger fabric of it all, and if i just keep writingwithout thinking about it i know i'll wind up regretting that choice later. so i compute probabilities and talk out concepts with my friends and throw out ideas and always always always when i'm open to other people's suggestions and drop all ego about "this is MY baby and I'M the auteur", we wind up coming up with some really truly excellent shit.

but sometimes a block is just a block. maybe you start a story and you don't like it. maybe your entire conception of the thing is just wrong, and you need to start from scratch but don't want to admit it. or maybe you're just tired!! i frequently try to push myself past my limits and i always wind up paying for it. my writing gets less coherent and i make a mess of parenthetical descriptions of [x character does y thing] and rushed, incomplete dialog that future me has to spend extra time just cleaning up.

it's easy to feel like, if you're upright and sentient then you have to write. but we aren't machines, and sometimes the energy just isn't there. maybe you can't focus enough, maybe the ideas are too spread apart. maybe you can only get a couple lines down. god knows that happens to me all the time! the solution, in my experience, is to just walk away.

there's a great bit in zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance by robert pirsig (which is genuinely one of my favorite philosophy books, surprising absolutely no one who knows its reputation) where he talks about having an engine problem in his motorcycle that he needs to fix, but there's a threaded screw holding the chassis in place keeping him from accessing the engine. he describes feeling FURIOUS, to the point of wanting to smash the whole fucking thing with a wrench. he describes being utterly, completely stuck, to the point that this screw is consuming his entire world. and he says:

"Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. ... Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now ... you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it."

art blocks, in my opinion, are no different. you can get stuck on the littlest things, especially when you're thinking big picture. it's easy to think that this one insignificant misunderstanding in the text can be ignored while you work on other parts, but it never works that way. at least for me. you have to be able to identify these little things that feel wrong, and treat them with the gravity and seriousness they demand. a quotidian hospital scene you barrel into automatically can be worth the entire wordcount of a work, because until you figure out why that scene feels wrong, you can't get any other work done.

and the solution, SO often, is to just walk away. go read a book, watch a show, go for a walk, smoke some weed, take a nap, eat food, whatever man pick your poison. let your brain passively process this thing in the background. during the day i write completely sober, and then at around 8 or 9pm when my comprehension really starts to fall and the doubts start creeping in, i step out and smoke some weed. obviously this isn't a solution everyone has access to, but it works for me! something about the way my thoughts spread out when i'm high makes it so much easier to process these vast pathways of information that i'm trying to funnel into a coherent narrative.

sometimes you realize the solution is to throw away 3000 words and take a different approach, like i did with 8.2. i should say, don't do this when you're just starting. you always always always end up rewriting the beginning of a story once you get a sense of how it builds and ends. the beginning in a first draft doesn't need to be good, it just has to get the ball rolling. but once you're in deep enough, you get a better sense of what works and what doesn't. and at that point you have to be egoless enough to know that even good prose can be the root cause of a block.

anyway, that's my advice. i hope that's helpful in some sense, but everyone's got their own approach and their own idea of what they're doing. this isn't meant to be blanket universal advice and shouldn't be taken as The True Way or whatever. it's just, like, my opinion, man.

[shiberpostshere]

The Kiss Thief - Park Seonghwa Social Media AU

10. Chapter Six: It's okay buddy, get used to it✨

(Images below Text)

Previous Part✨ Next Part✨

Masterlist of the AU✨

Date: 07.09.19 ✨

You and your friends have been frequenting Cafe Utopia these days due to the fact that San works there part time and Wooyoung dropps by often as his dance studio falls nearby. You might end up becoming a regular since the Dazzling Night crew uses the place as a daily meeting spot if not working in the recording studio.

The interior of the cafe is as the name suggests, magical and mesmerising. The entire furniture is ebony and golden bulbs hang low from the ceiling, the lighting being ten out of ten.

San had left with Yeri fifteen minutes ago after his shift ended to hang out at the apartment with Wooyoung and Yunho, who together went to the dance club and were also flat-mates.

You might as well just make a friendship chart to trace back all your recent friendships somehow to Seonghwa.

The first ever meeting is to be held today at 5PM. Jongho and you arrived an hour earlier to calm down with caffeine and to pretend to do college work while you just conversed about random topics leading nowhere. He slurped his iced americano as you sipped your black coffee.

“So, you're all cool now? Hundred percent?” He murmurs under his breath while scanning the script given by Yeosang.

The topic of embarrassment hadn’t surfaced back onto your consciousness after texting Seonghwa as you had distracted yourself by binge watching Brooklyn 99 with Yeri for half of the night. Classes occupied your mind in the morning and you only thought about Seonghwa's text with full concentration for fifteen minutes while waiting for your orders at the cafe.

At the end, you decided to just deal with it.

You chug down the remaining beverage. “Yeah. I've decided to face Song Mingi and Park Seonghwa with the power of caffeine and god by my side.” The empty mug feels irritating.

San had warned you before leaving not to get another refill, presumably what might have been your seventh cup of the day.

“You literally groaned like a dinosaur after receiving his text.” He gives you a long face.

“Of course I would! He called me cute, he’s obviously making fun of me.” You pack your study material and open your laptop for the meeting.

He considers a thought for a moment. “Maybe he’s just clueless.”

“He’s actually that clueless.” The sudden comment from Yeosang makes you and your friend jump as he settles down at the table.

Mingi takes a seat beside him along with Hongjoong. "I can vouch for that, you know I've known him since high school."

You and Jongho look around for a moment before taking in the group's sudden arrival.

Seonghwa occupies the remaining seat, beside you and your friend. "I'm literally right here, guys. Hi (Y/N), hey Jongho."

"And?" Mingi says as he unpacks his laptop along with his friends, except Hongjoong.  

You shake your head, crossing your arms below your chest. "You guys are sure acting all cool about the group chat."

Hongjoong is the only one with a notepad in front of him and he replies while studying some scribbles. "We're pretending to be cool about it."

"You seem quite unphased too." Yeosang states with a brow raised.

Jongho answers in your stead. "She's buzzing with caffeine, nothing can affect her."

You nod proudly in agreement and point at your now empty mug. "Yeah, I had six cups of courage coffee."

Seonghwa begins to type on his laptop. "That's disturbingly unhealthy."

"Okay, Grandpa, sure."

"That's no way to address your college senior." He attempts to deliver the statement with a serious voice but you catch the corner of his lips lifting up.

Mingi leans forward gleefully, placing his chin in his palms. "Oh my god, look at you two, flirting like the old times." His eyelashes blink at you devilishly.

You hold up a palm at him like the traffic police, "Okay, Song Mingi, sure." At which he feigns a shocked expression.

Even Seonghwa appears surprised by your response.

Jongho pats on your back, you chuckle. "You go, (Y/N)!"

Hongjoong clears his throat and garners everyone’s attention, “Enough bickering. Meeting time.”

Everyone naturally falls silent at his words.

Seonghwa rubs his palms together. “Okay, alright. (Y/N) and Jongho, welcome to the Dazzling Night team. I will just go through some details, if you wish to, you can note them down.”

Seonghwa begins explaining the agenda and workings of the radio show to you and Jongho. Meanwhile, the others discuss something of their own. You decide to note down the important details.

You learn that Dazzling Night airs from Monday to Friday, every night at 10 PM. Jongho will be joining Yeosang as an announcer. Hongjoong is mostly absent due to other commitments and Seonghwa monitors the process under the guidance of Professor Lee.

You pause for a moment, looking back and forth at the two involved in the conversation. “Hold up, if Hongjoong isn’t involved every night then who will I be working under?”

Seonghwa ponders for a moment on how to answer your question, whilst Jongho avoids your gaze.

A finger taps on your shoulder. “Hi.” Mingi grins at you widely.

Your eyes widen. “You’re the audio engineer?” He nods with the grin ever present.

Hongjoong gently taps Mingi’s cheeks with his pen. “You will be but he attends the dance club in the evening so I will be guiding you through it, don’t worry.”

You fall back into your chair, feeling deflated like a balloon. “Great, that’s great.”

“Who will I be working with?” Jongho questions.

“We’ll be meeting together everyday to go through the script, rehearse and make changes.” Yeosang answers his question.

"And, we'll have follow up group meetings to join those fragments of work together." The mullet guy concludes.

Curious, you turn towards Seonghwa. “What about you?”

He too, offers you his full attention. “What about me?”

“What about him?” Mingi’s voice interjects. “Are you asking what’s his deal? He’s single.”

“I am” The male besides you answers and your jaw drops with shock altogether.

“Why would you answer his question! That’s not what I was asking! I was asking what role do you play!”

You hear Jongho snicker and shove an elbow to silence him.

“Oh.” He bites his tongue in between his teeth. “I am the team leader, I observe and finalize things.” His expression truly appears clueless or he’s extremely good at faking it.

“Um, anyway. Seonghwa will also be monitoring you for the following week. I can’t stay back so he’ll be correcting you in my stead.” The composer’s words cause you to fall back more and more, hoping the chair would come alive and suffocate you to death.

“You’re not entirely unphased.” Mingi eyebrows dance up and down.

Yeosang closes his laptop, concerned. “Seonghwa tends to be like that. Why did you like him back then?”

Mingi attempts to hold back his laughter at the question.

Yep, chair, c’mon, kill me.

Seonghwa slams his palms on the table with a gentle thud. “I am right here, I am literally right here!”

Unable to fathom what's going to happen anymore, you place a hand gently on his shoulder. “It’s okay buddy, it’s okay. Get used to it. It’s the only way.”

Seonghwa glances at your hand, trying to hold back his smile at your gesture.

✨

✨

Pairing: College Student! Seonghwa x College Student! Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, A teeny tiny bit of smut with a pinch of angst

Synopsis: High school crushes are often silly and forgotten. However, you cannot forget the one senior, you "borrowed" once a kiss from. Years have passed and it's a memory you laugh at but what will happen if you're to encounter the same senior in a much different setting and situation? Especially during your first year of college.

A/N: What is Seonghwa doing? 🤔 (Tumblr didn't save my draft so I had to make the post twice 🙃) Also, this needs serious editing which I'll be doing tomorrow.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist 💫

🌸Tags:

@enigmaticsal @missiopk @stardusthyuck @preets-kpop-world @rae-wo0 @sanisms @minjiyeonnie @retrofuture-ism @hongjoongsnoona

Unable to tag: @mingiibabieee

🌸

Please do not repost, modify or claim these images.

[iamtheempress]

A Vegeta x OC Fanfiction (part 4) ¤ ¤ ¤

Calamatta managed to roll out of bed and redress herself. Pulling on the suit and grabbing a spare to bring with her on her trip to To-Rot. Leaving her room she met with Nappa. "There she is!" He chugged a caffeinated hot beverage down like it was nothing, Raditz stood beside him counting his wad of cash and stuffing it in his armor. 

"Pay looks nice." She yawns and stretches making her cute tail curl and back arch abit. "37,000. Not bad but could be better. Vegeta got the most of it." Nappa nods and pushes the yawning female saiyan a mug of the hot beverage. "Thanks...gonna need it." "Damn right you are! Vegeta is still sleeping. Weird he said he was gonna get up before us.. eh whatever. Lets get your pod and stuff ready then well worry bout him." Nappa said as Calamatta shined off the mug and pushed it away.

Upon going to the pod, her coordinates were set and everything was packed into there Raditz, who was standing besides her piped up, leaning against the pod with his massive arms crossed. "Dont take this the wrong way Calamatta but… why are you so…" he moves his hands in an hour glass shape and tilts his head. Calamatta went wide eyed and fixed her suit where her ass is. 

"If thats how you flirt with women that was a strike out, good lord! And I have know idea why! Its just my body shape idiot…" she comments hearing Nappa wheeze as he fixes some wires within the pod, followed by him clanging his head leaving. "Im not! I d-dont flirt its just that… well… shes got… n-nice legs and … a great fa-" Calamatta thwipped her tail like a nervous cat. The bay door slid open and Raditz's poor excuse for flirtation was stopped DEAD in its tracks. "Stop harassing Calamatta on her body type Raditz, Saiyan women were given bodys to kill, shes built like a fine tuned weapon whether you see it or not." Vegeta points up at Raditz who scowled with a full face of blush. "Oh so you look at her too Vegeta?" Calamatta slaps her forehead and raises her voice flicking Raditz in the forehead for his really stupid comment. "Can yall stop talking about me like im not fuckin here??" She snapped annoyed and heard Nappa close up the oxygen port.

 "Ready boss?" She asked Vegeta, who nodded and got into his respective pod and punched in the coordinates manually. "Later guys!" She got in and Raditz and Nappa left the pod evac room. 

Vegeta's voice sparked to life on her scouter. "Theres a hidden base by the most recent Frieza Force there.. we should make it there in an hour so that will be our base of operation. No breaches from outside forces." She nods and for the 2nd time in her life the pod flew straight out of the mothership into the cold vacuum of space. 

She crossed her arms and watched Vegetas whiz right past her hurtling with effort and ease to the planet that only seemed to become larger.. if that wasnt already more possible.

 She marveled at it… it was amazing. It was a shame she was there for a job to do. 

It was under 50 minutes where there pods broke entry to the planets atmosphere, careening and becoming hot to the touch, cold metal heating up faster, and faster becoming scorching red hot. Then the mountain range came into view, with the ship in sight the two pods crashed right into a large cave system. 

Welding their pods into the hard rock walls to jut through with 0 damage just enough room for the pods to open on the opposite side of the mountain. Calamatta and Vegeta pushed the button to open the pod bay doors, they took one solid whif of the atmosphere and Cala sighed. "To-Rot huh.. so wheres the base ship?" Cala steps her boots onto the alien planets surface. "5 miles that way. Stay within the tree line, follow my lead." The prince cracks his neck and blasts away leaving a trail of dust and debris behind him.

 "Say no more.." she stated following close behind Vegeta. Vegetas eyes were trained ahead. Toa ship that was covered in dirt and over growth. He tapped his scouter to be sure. "Perfect.. no signs of power levels. Excellent!" He smirked, the prince and Calamatta landed outside of the ship. Vegeta punched in a code and they were both let in. "Good.. now.. lets have a look around. The recent failed mission logs should have data from their logs. Have a look around for food and whatever else when i find the log ill call for you"  Vegeta announced as the hangar door shut behind them locking followed by a robotic voice. 

'Systems Armed'

Calamatta turned on her heels and scampered to the back of the ship. Vegeta watched the eager Saiyan trot away, with a sigh and a roll of his eye he headed towards the command deck of the ship. 

Collected with dust and opened up first aid kits, Vegeta scanned the surrounding area cautiously. 3 lone scouters covered in blood sat on the front of the deck. An ominous reminder of the past couple of grunts who died here. 

He snagged the three up and turned to call for Calamatta "Found them! Get up here!"

Calamatta dropped this box of rations she found and walked quickly to the front to see him plugging in the scouters logs. An unfamiliar voice chimed to life. 

"F-Force log number 1, we have arrived at To-Rot, this area is to be our base of operation since the inhabitants cannot scale plateaus or fly. We will commence terraformation and return in a week." Vegeta clicked the 2nd video, a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. 

"F-Force Log number 2… uhm.. Que, Roa, and Gil went missing yesterday. We have been here for 3 days now and i have seen hide nor tail of them... ill send a distress warning to the mother ship but i will go and find my crew." 

He pressed the last one and the room suddenly became much heavier. "F-Force number 3… i found my crew.. w-whats left of them…" he held up baren bones and armor. "This planets fucked up… if you know whats good for you send the Saiyans.. theyll do a better job.. i couldnt save my crew! This is Nutte signing off… i'm going to look for Roa.”

"Thats… not good.." Vegeta groaned and plugged in the next scouter, A new crew came up on the screen, a crew of ten. The crew was looking around, brows raised and sweat on their brow. “So we are the 4th crew to come to this planet alone, from what were aware these uh… the main population of this race is highly hostile and we need to utilize lethal force...Well update as we go along.” After that log there was no update, no commanders log. He stepped away and swiped a hand through his hair. “Last log…”  He clicked on it which was 7 full days ago. 

A Log List of all the times this one computer has been logged into popped up. It was far more then 4.

10 Crew lists came through. Crews of upwards of 5 being the smallest to 30 being the most. All vanished within days of arrival. All of them mentioning, to send someone stronger, someone more capable. The Saiyans, they begged for the Saiyans help and they were all sent on suicide missions back to back to back to back.

Vegeta slammed his hands down on the console making it glitch the screen. “Of course theyd call for us…dammit!” He barked and kept his back turned away from her. “So they sent them on suicide missions because… they didn’t want to send us?” She questioned, furrowing her brows trying to wrap her head around the situation. “Frieza didnt want to send me and the other two… He sent US on a suicide mission.” Vegeta turned quickly and stared daggers into Calamatta, the overwhelming feeling of concern rain heavy within her head, and sat uncomfortably in her stomach like something she shouldnt have eaten.

Vegeta crossed the room and pointed his finger right into her chest a deep growl emanating from behind his bared teeth. “He went and sent ME with YOU so we can both perish!” “Hey hey what the hell! Calm down abit, well make it out of here ill follow orders.” Vegeta’s vein popped out on his forehead, eyes narrowed furious.

 “Thats not my point. Your optimism is the closest thing we have to any cocky behavior! It doesnt surprise me why Frieza sent me to a month long mission..” She put up her hands and once again her heart sunk; she went wide eyed staring into the princes heartlessly infuriated black eyes.

Friezas words rattled in her skull ‘your life is as forfeit to me as it is Vegeta…’

“I dont get why he would send both of us to die.” He turned back around and walked to a table with a map on it. “You stood at Frieza’s side for as long as you have been able to speak, you wanted freedom from him, now you might as well see the harsh reality, he never had any good intentions for you Calamatta. He wants you dead, so much so hell send the both of us to a lethal planet to terraform on our own…” He said flatly, Calamatta remained silent her tail loosely hanging from her waist. Her dignity and pride feeling like it was oozing out of her very pores. “Now get over here and lets get an idea of the land… this moon has two moons and we have to plan accordingly.” The map is very detailed of the entirety of the planet from the red deserts to the lush green forests and then to the grayed out city scapes. All of them giant hot beds of activity, teaming with life as they knew it. 

His orders were direct and bland. Calamatta dragged her feet, depressed. Feeling less and less like a Saiyan by the moment, it wasnt so much Vegeta.. it was how quickly she was starting to realize Frieza was right, and goddamn did it grate her nerves to know that... The idea of freedom is going to be lightyears more heavier then she could imagine, shes not even close and this is what she has to deal with. Calamatta tightened her tail back up around her waist and listened to her Princes expertise plan of attack.

¤ ¤ ¤

Tags:  @memevember @dragonblobz @gonuclear @msgreenverse @fallen--lilith ​ @jimbobslurpnchug @dragonballcollector @nikabriefs @lilhemmo @supremeleadershitlord @thotful-writing ​ @chickiedinner @anti-jaina @lizardhipsdontlie @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit ​ @solidsock​

[exclipssesss]

You're perfect, no matter what he says about you. [x reader]

Headcanons of all my current fav characters from different fandoms. This was supposed to be something just to emotionally heal me. So this does kinda based off real life experience, except the part where the bois comfort me, man why can't i buy these guys in ebay as my legal husbands?

Characters involved: Alastor [Hazbin Hotel], Lafayette [Hamilton The Musical].

Would probabpy make part two with other characters uwu

Warnings: Cursing, Physical abuse, Parental abuse, The mention of Anxiety.

Summary: S/o never had a great relationship with their dad, and after another fight (which ended horribly wrong) someone decided to comfort them.

Alastor.

Hazbin Hotel.

You were in the Hotel, coolio. Basically you were chilling on the couch when suddenly you fell asleep, and after a few hours passed you woke up to find yourself in your room with blankets covering you, you were confused on how you get there.

You then get out of bed and noticed charlie calling you, probably a new demon that wanna check into the hotel.

You saw a demon that is kind of similar to you but wAy more big and looked kind of scary, he was holding a cigarette. At first you shrugged it off since having the same form of a demon can both mean you guys have made the same sin, or you are related.

You didn't really mind it at first until you asked him to sign in to the hotel, and he looked at you as if you're stupid. He laughed that everyone draws their attention to the both of you, you laughed with him to avoid being awkward.

"You do realize that i am nowhere wanting to go to this stupid ass hotel right? Pathetic, demons wanting to do some redemption just to go to heaven? They can't even take their own consequences of being a dick. Yeah no bitch, i ain't going to this hotel, especially if it filled with pussies"

You stumbled back, he was similar to you but is nothing like you. Yes you swore, a lot, but not this harsh. He basically scowls at you and you just gave him a light glare back. He didn't seem to notice it tho.

Then, it snapped inside your head. No wonder his voice was so familiar. You looked at him and took the chance to find out, if it is true, then you're probably double dead. But you convince yourself that even if he tries to hurt you, you were at the hotel, someone is bound to help you.

"Um, oh, i forgot to introduce myself.. I'm [Y/n] [L/n], nice to meet you.. Sir.."

And you were right. His eyes was wide for a second before it was replaced with disgust, he yanked your hand and you almost lost your balance.

"Of-fucking-course you are. Now wonder your voice reminds me of some bitch. No surprise seeing you here in hell tho, you were always nothing but a disappointment. Even god thinks so."

You basically trembled as eyes were sticking on both you and your "father". He then let's go of you harshly and you stumbled back before falling, demons around weren't helping either. Although some of them gave you pitiful looks, so you decided that maybe they just too scared to interfere. I mean, you would too.

"See? Pathetic. Even as a demon you're trash, and now you're trying to do this whole hotel thing? HahaA--"

Something pulled your dad back, and he was met by a pair of a sickeningly dark pair of eyes that you've known too well.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm pretty sure that that kind of behaviour is not allowed here."

Your "father" was surprised to see Hell's one of the most powerful demons defending you, he almost gives out a somewhat proud smirk, only for it to turn into a scoff. Thankfully, he was decent enough not to mess with Alastor, as he immediately got out the doors and hopefully not coming back.

"My dearest, are you alright?" oh and he comforts you throughout the day too, he almost swears to kill your dad (if that's even possible) but you immediately told him not to.

Either way, he is precious and would do anything for you. Would recommend getting yourself an Alastor, 10/10.

Marquis de Lafayette.

Hamilton: an American musical.

Hamiltime.

(I'm changing the writing style just becuz I'm in the mood)

You just got back from a long day hanging out with the Schuyler Sisters, and also the boys of course. Funnily enough, you and Peggy get along really well, and for the boys? Lafayette's definitely your favorite. Actually he's more than just your 'favorite', you're not even sure yourself, you just felt safe and nice inside when you're around him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

A familiar deep voice that you've been scared for so long spoke up, you stopped dead on your tracks, trying to look calm. You then turned around to be met with a pair of deadly sharp and dark eyes piercing through you, in which you quietly gulped in response.

"I'm sorry i came back late, dad. I was with the Schuyler Sisters and-"

"You really think I'll believe that lying mouth of yours?"

Those words caught you off guard since you are, for a fact, not lying. You really were with Angelica and the others, and so you gave him your 'what are you talking about?' face, and he did not like that. He approached you, and you slowly but surely walked backwards, in hopes of getting away from him. When he was only a few inches from you, he spoke up again.

"Don't you fucking lie to me, who was that man with you? Who the fuck was he?" His voice low with growl as he fixed his sight to yours. You took another gulp of your own spit as he was starting to push you into a corner.

"I wasn't lying! I really was with The Sisters, that boy is just one of ou-"

Slapped

You could feel the hot print on your left cheek as it was burning with pain from the sudden hit, you hold it with your arm. This time you had enough, it was enough living in a world where girls don't have any rights, and you were absolutely not gonna let this man use that against you. Even if he is your blood.

"I'll ask you again, and this time i want an answer, not a rambling about some nonsense you pulled out of your ass."

You looked at him dead in the eye before finally giving an answer.

"Marquis de Lafayette. There, you have it. May i go now?" You said with disgust and anger lacing in every word. This made your so called dad shut up, before forcefully yanked you away. You ran to your room and find yourself falling asleep while crying, at this point all you wanna do was die. With all the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, you basically almost puked, and you still can't believe your mom left you with him. When you woke up, you checked the time. 11:36. At this rate, you could barely sleep again, and you didn't want to be in a house with that jerk anyways, so a brilliant-yet-kinda-dumb idea came to mind. You got out of the house quietly, you didn't want to even try spending the night there anymore, and to be honest, you didn't know where to go.

You could visit the Schuyler Sisters, yes, but going to the Schuyler Mansion at this time of night? Maybe not. You couldn't go to one of the boys' house either, that's just weird. And you didn't want to look like slut. So your thoughts just came to that one place, the place you and the rest of the gang met. The place where you and Lafayette met. The bar. Plus it's open twenty/four hours so it's not like you'll be trespassing.

And so you did what you thought you did. You go there, at first you thought that you would probably be alone in the bar considering how late it is, and that's a good thing considering the red burning mark on your cheek haven't left yet. But nope. The bar was actually kinda noisy, you looked inside to see Alex and his friends there getting drunk, and so you tried to avoid eye contact and go back outside. Well that was your plan until a certain drunk frenchman called you out.

"Mon amie, (Y/n)! Why are you here at this time of night? A beautiful mademoiselle like you shouldn't do that~" Lafayette slurred almost every word as he is drunk. You stopped dead on your tracks and turned around to smile at them, using your hair to cover the bruises left on your cheek. As you looked closely, you could see that Alexander is probably the only sober one out of the group, and not actually drunk.

"Yeah (Y/n), why are you here? Oh, you can come join us if you want to." Alex, the only stable one at the moment continued.

"That's a great idea Al! Come, mon amie! I'll buy you a drink."

Lord tell me how to say no to this-- But seriously, you wanted to go so badly but you barely even could walk out the moment you saw that smile. And so you just had to walk back, which all the boys cheered on.

"What's wrong, (Y/n)? You're awfully quiet,"

"Yeah, most of the time you're basically the one who can't shut up."

"Yo, talk if you want a free booze."

And yet you kept silent, although a silent chuckle can be heard only by yourself did rang through your ears. The boys were starting to get worried, especially with your new hairdo that covered half of your face.

"Huh, someone's actually denying free booze, something is wrong" Hercules said as he rubbed his nonexistent beard, Laurens just tried to swipe your hair away but you quickly slapped his hands away as soon as it was near your face.

"Sheesh, no touching your new hair, i get it. No need to slap me for it." He said with almost looks like a pout, this time the frenchman was asking you questions, and you didn't want to answer. But in the same time, you don't have the heart to ignore him.

"(Y/n), please, tell me what's wrong.. Why are you covering your face?" and now, you also wanted to die. That face, that damned face, god why can't you just ignore it like anyone else's? You let out a sigh as you finally lets all those emotions loose. Tears were pouring down your face almost as fast as Hercules chugging down a beer, and you could barely took any control of them. You buried your face in Laff's shoulder, him petting your head as you realease all your burdens and tears at the same time. The others were stunned, but is confused on what to do, so they just wait for you to stop crying before saying anything that could make you more emotional, if that's even possible.

You wiped your tears, and when you go to wipe the remaining liquid on your left eyes, you unconsciously exposed the big red mark on your left cheek. Boy, little did you know that they'll immediately turn into interrogators in less than a minute.

"(Y/n). What is this?" Hercules' voice rang first with what seems like anger, second came Alex, with his voice that sounded way more than just 'worried'.

"Who the fuck did this?" He said as he tried to put your hair behind your ear, you avoided his touch and just sinks more into Lafayette's embrace, who's weirdly being quiet through this, although his gaze didn't seem to left you at all.

"(Y/n), Let us take a look. I can't believe someone actually did that to you." It's true, you never told anyone about your 'daddy issues', you didn't want to gain any pitty. Time went on and it's almost One AM now, Laff's gaze didn't seem to have left you, in fact, they were stern, it didn't helped the fact that he haven't said anything in the past hour.

You ended up getting cornered and so you told them, about everything that was happened last night. They. Were. Furious. It didn't surprise you though, if your friend were going through the same thing, you'd probably ready to murder someone too.

"(Y/n), does zis 'ave something to do with me?" You immediately flinched. The reason you were slapped was because you didn't want to tell your dad about Lafayette, and he basically could see it through you. He immediately cursed himself, blaming everything that he thought he did wrong. With a little explanation and help from Alex and the others, you got him to calm down and kissed him in his cheek. In which he responds with a blush acrossed his face.

In the end, Lafayette asked you to stay with him for a while and said it was "the least he could do." Basically you were treated like a princess, nothing major happened other than cuddles and venting, he would pat your head and hold you close when you started crying. Sometimes he would kiss your forehead and says sweet nothings to you. He insisted to sleep on the couch while you took the bed, and ever since, the guys would act like your brothers, especially Laurens and Mulligan, they would actually shower you with new dresses and act proud whenever you and Lafayette had "a step forward". (They became your personal wingmans too.)

Not long after, The schuylers took you in, or more like - dragged you in. Philip Schuyler had left the Mansion to his daughters, and so which give them the opportunity to make you their roommates. You four would just chill at night and trash talk your dad when wanted to. (courtesy of big sis Angie™).

Alex on the other hand, was determined to make your dad looked like a fool, even though you told him countless times that he didn't need to do that. He would write about your dad with headlines like "Man Treats Daughter Worse Than Slave" or something like that. In which you laughed about, somehow you still feel bad about the amount of hate your dad gives, but you also feel as if he deserves it for hitting you all those years.

The last but not least, Lafayette. The man asked you out after you moved with the Schuylers, he said he's lonely now that you're not with him and he missed you, he also said that was the time he realized he had feelings for you. You immediately said yes and have been courting with him ever since. Honestly he's just the embodiment of love and cuddles, and you love him for every support he gave you.

[gvf-imagines]

Part 1

(Josh/Danny/Jake/Sam x reader)

Warnings: alcohol use, self harm scars

word count:  3252

Thanks to @callmekane for beta reading this fic!

A/N: I’m excited about what this story will bring! This is going to be a very smut filled fan fiction series where the reader has a very sexual and open relationship with all of the boys! I know some people won’t like it I’m sure but all criticism is welcome! Please leave comments and let me know what you think and of course if you have an idea for the story I’m totally open to hearing your thoughts! I hope you enjoy it my friends ❣️

If you’d like to be on the tag-list so you know when I post part 2 just message me or let me know in the comments!

—————————————————————-

You smiled as you ran off stage, the fans were still screaming and kept screaming until the next band took the stage. The air was electric, so many people, all here to enjoy the great communicator that is music. You closed your eyes to take it all in, to just listen and feel. You couldn't believe you were here, playing in front of this many people. This year you shared the stage with another up and coming band by the name of Greta Van Fleet. You hadn't heard of them before recently and they were actually really good. They had so much soul and passion in their music, it was true, raw talent. 

You watched from the side stage as they played their eclectic set. The singer, Josh, really got the crowd going. He had so much energy and was really fun to watch. His voice was incredible, unbelievable even. He had this raspy, elegant twang in his voice, that truly matched perfectly with the music his band was producing. The drummer, Danny (if you remembered correctly), had such a powerful and classic Drumming style. It was full of life and emotion , just like you, he put his all into his performance. He was focused and truly the heart of the music. There was a guitarist and a Bassist, unlike your band which only consisted of you and your best friend. You, the drummer and your friend the singer and guitarist. The bassist, Sam,  had a very cool way about him, his body moved with the music in a way that seemed beyond his control. The guitarist, Jake , was stunning, his hands danced along his guitar so expertly, you could tell he truly enjoyed his time with his instrument. 

When they finished their set, the crowd erupted in a wave of applause and cheers, like bright yellow and orange fireworks booming through the air, you watched with your minds eye, in awe as they exploded and cracked in the sky. The Boys bowed and waved before walking off stage panting and sweating.

“Nice job!, excellent show” you comment smiling. Danny returned the smile with a grateful nod. 

“Aw thank you, I'm sorry I don't think we had a chance to meet before the show, I’m Dan-” he began.

“You're Danny, Sam , Jake , and Josh” you said, pointing to each of them and smiling. They all returned the smile, there was positive energy just radiating from them, you could feel it like a blanket of warmth resting over you. 

“My name is (y/n), it's so nice to meet you guys!” you chime happily. The lead singer, Josh smiles at and you think you catch a small wink as well, making your heart skip a beat. Perhaps you were seeing things. God he's handsome, his sparkling brown eyes, he had more structure in his jawline than you had in your entire life His chestnut hair was gorgeous and curly, his whole look just attracted you to no end. 

Fuck. 

“Hey your performance was super amazing too, your voice is absolutely incredible” Sam complimented, his voice popped all the bubbly thoughts of josh that foamed in your head. Thank goodness. “Yeah! You did an excellent job (y/n). Its one thing to be a good singer when you have three other band members to help you sound good, but you were out there all alone, just your voice and you still blew that crowd away” Danny added. You were blushing for sure now. 

“Yeah your voice is crazy good, we're honored to play alongside you” Jake chimed. 

“Oh wow you guys are gonna make me cry” you chuckle “thank you so much, that means a lot coming from someone with your talent” you reply. Sam waves his hand incredulously as if you were hyping them up and making them out to be better than they really were.. You weren't. They are  awe inspiring musicians.

“Water?” a stagehand offered walking over with a cooler. 

“Oh thank fucking Christ” Josh rendered making a bee line for the cooler. You chuckled, and now that you thought of it your throat was extremely dry from singing as well. Jake nicely offered you the bottle he grabbed with a smile. A true gentleman. 

“Thank you!” you offer as you grab the bottle from him. You practically ripped the cap off and chugged the whole bottle. It was delicious and cold and ran over your tongue and down your throat with a refreshingly cold bite. 

The five of you stand there and re hydrate for a minute before Sam speaks “we should go grab a drink!” he suggests with a slight raise of his perfect eyebrows. The guys look at you in waiting. 

“You wanna join us?” Josh asks, flashing a pearly white smile. You look around at them for a mere second before responding. 

“Sure! Yeah that sounds fun” 

“Right on, I think I saw a bar down the street we can go to” Jake claims as you all head to the doors behind the dressing rooms. 

Rain began to expel from the dark clouds above you as you all headed down the road. Cold air kisses your skin causing you to shiver slightly, you only had on black leather pants and a pink floral pattern blouse that you tied up a bit to expose part of your stomach. It was late, must have been almost midnight by now, the air was heavy with moisture and you could smell the rain soaked cement under your feet. 

“Are you cold?” Josh questions as he walks beside you, he startled you a bit. You smiled and looked at your arms, they were dotted with goosebumps. 

“Yeah kinda” you reply sheepishly. Josh instantly takes off the jean jacket he was wearing and handed it to you. Jake and the others were a few feet behind the two of you carrying on a conversation about the show. You reached out and accepted the jacket, Josh's gaze nonchalantly floated down your arm, his face fell when he noticed the deep scars that peppered across your skin near your wrists. You notice him looking at them before he brings his gaze back up to meet yours. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you quickly put the jacket on. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to stare” he says softly, looking down at the wet street. You knew by the tone in his voice he wasn't judging you. His look was filled with concern, not judgement.

“It's alright, people stare all the time” you responded 

“It doesn't bother me so much anymore, i'm used to it.” you added. Josh nods, a sad look still lingers on his gentle face. His jacket was warm, his scent filled your nose, it was comfortable and soothing, much like the rain that fell from the sky. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, you could tell he was thinking about something, he had that  thousand yard stare stuck in his eyes. You hadn't known Josh for long but it's not hard to tell when someone is enthralled in thought.

“How long have you been singing?” you ask, trying to pull him from whatever trance he was in. 

“A long time, most of my life really” he answers with a smile. Talking about his music clearly made him happy. He in turn asked you the same question. You laugh before responding. 

“Honestly I've only been singing for a few years….drumming is my real talent and I've been doing that for most of my life, coming up on 18 years” you explain. Josh’s expression shifted from a smile to a look of surprise.

“Wow that’s awesome , are you self taught?” he asks again. You nodded “my dad taught me a few things here and there more when I first started out but, mostly I've taught myself” you said. Josh chuckled with a nod.

“That is really cool” he replied, you could tell by the tone and instance of his voice that he was genuinely impressed. 

“Oo careful on the compliments you've never heard me play before, just because I've been playing for a long time doesn't mean i’m any good” you joke, Josh laughs, shakes his head and nudges your shoulder. 

“Well have to get you behind Danny's kit some time” he implores. Hearing him say that made you happy, it meant he wanted to see you again. 

“You guys did really good tonight, I cant believe I've never heard of you guys before really. It wasn't until my manager told me who I'd be playing with at the festival that I started looking into you guys.” you admit. 

“Thanks you did an excellent job too, i really loved that first song you sang, ‘salt is my sugar’ I really resonated with that one, truly felt it, there's a lot of emotion in your lyrics.

“This is it,” Sam announces opening the front door and holding it for everyone to walk in. the smell of smoke and dark liquor hang heavy in the air. An ACDC song played over the speakers. It wasn't very busy, there was an older man sitting at the bar, a couple younger people playing pool and a few others scattered in booths. It was a total dive bar, a hole in the wall, which was just your style. You all sat at the bar on squeaky worn out bar stools. 

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, perching himself up with his arms rested on the bar as a washrag sat, oh so typically, on his shoulder as he awaited your response. Jake looked at Josh with a raised brow giving him that ‘get a load of this guy’ look. 

“I'll have a beer,” Danny ordered. 

“Me as well please” Jake adds.

“Southern comfort and seven up for me please” you order next. 

“Hmm I'll have a long island iced tea” Sam says. You look at him holding back a chuckle Huh didn't take him for a long island iced tea kinda guy but to each their own. The bartender looked to josh. 

“Salty dog please” he requests.

“Put your IDs on the counter” the bartender instructs as he turns around to collect everyone's drinks. The five of you did as you were told and laid out your IDs. 

“So where are you guys headed now that the festival is over?” you asked playing with a stained, old coaster that sat in front of you. 

“We’re going back to Michigan for some well deserved time off” Josh responds. 

“For a little while anyways” he adds with a smile. 

“Hey I live in silver city!” you reply happily , silver city was a small town in Michigan closer to the upper peninsula. 

“Small world” you added. What are the chances the two of you lived within a few hours of each other and never met until the both of you played a festival in Los Angeles. 

You turn your attention to the combination of alcoholic drinks that the bartender set in front of you. Everyone reached for theirs offering quick cheers before taking a drink. The carbonation of the seven up burned against your throat before the alcohol sent the warming sensation through your chest and stomach. 

“Ah yum” you said, wincing from the sharpness of the alcohol. Jake laughed as he watched you.

“Not very convincing,” Sam says smiling. You laugh and take another drink. You watch Josh stir his drink lightly with the small straw it came with, he notices you looking. 

“Ever had a salty dog before?” he asks, hoping you say no. 

You simply shake your head in reply. He slides his drink closer to you. 

“We can share if you want, it's really good?” he offers. You look at the pink drink in front of you. 

“What's in it?” you ask. 

“It's just gin and grapefruit juice with a little salt around the rim,” he says. 

“Oh god that sounds horrible” you laugh.

“It's actually not that bad” Danny pipes up with a shrug.

“He made me try it a few weeks ago,” he adds. 

“Alright I'll take your word for it” you smile at Danny. You look back down at the drink. 

“I promise I didn't spike it” Josh chimes.  You laugh loudly, why would he even say that? 

“That's exactly what someone who spiked my drink would say” 

“But I guess I trust you guys” you add before taking a healthy sip of the beverage. 

“Hmm that's not bad!” conclude, it was much sweeter than you thought it would be, it kind of reminded you of orange juice and vodka. Josh nods with an I told you so sort of look on his face. 

“Here, try mine,” Sam says next, handing you his glass. 

“Alright you try mine too” you reply with a smile. Sam's slender fingers brush against yours as he grabs the drink from you , your eyes look to his and he winks. 

Oh god, I can't be attracted to two of them. Honestly, who were you kidding? You were insanely attracted to all of them, how were they ALL so cute and gorgeous? Not fair to the rest of man-kind. 

“Wow this one is super good!” you remark going in for another drink of the long island iced tea. 

“Yeah can you believe there's like 8 different alcohols in there? No tea at all” he laughs, you laughed with him. His laugh was sweet and light, like orange sparkling shards of glass dancing through the air. The five of you began talking about life and learning a lot about each other, ordering more drinks along the way. You could tell the mix of drinks was beginning to take effect on you, you felt warm and relaxed. You were standing next to Danny now, he towered over you, this man was truly a beast.the smell of his cologne wrapped around you. It was oaky and mossy with a hint of citrus, you couldn't help but feel an electrifying pull of attraction to him.

For fucks sake, you curse yourself.  

A few games of pool (which, it turns out Jake is like a God at pool) later you all found yourselves back at the bar carrying on more conversation, albeit more slurred now. It was much easier to open up to people when alcohol was involved. You rolled the sleeves of josh's jacked up, exposing your arms as the alcohol was making you extremely warm.

“What happened to you?” the bartender asks loudly. You and the guys all look at him with hints of confusion. 

“I got the worst concoction of my parents DNA possible” you joke , the boys laugh. Jake nudges your shoulder. 

“Shut up you're gorgeous” he says softly. You give him a quick smile. 

“No. Your arm. What happened to your arm.” the bartender says again, nodding to your scars. You hated when people asked that question, like they didn't know why you had those scars on your wrists. Very few things leave scars like that on skin. You looked around at the guys, josh looked pissed and the others looked saddened as this was the first time they had seen your scars, and they knew damn well what it was from, they weren’t as stupid as this bartender. The air of the bar had shifted, the mood went from fun loving to hostile very quickly. Fuck this guy.

“I got in a fight with a weed wacker” you retort sarcastically. The man rolls his eyes.

“What happened? Did your little boyfriend break up with you? Flunk a class? Your puppy ran away?” he was mocking you. You said nothing in return.

“You're just another one of those emotionally confused little girls, no reason to hate her life.” he continues. For some reason he was trying to upset you , and you had no idea why, you'd been nothing but pleasant to the man since the moment you entered the bar.

“First of all i'm not a girl, I'm a woman. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning man? You're mad because you got all D’s in high school and now you're stuck serving losers like us in this shit hole, pretentious, sorry excuse of a bar? Go fuck yourself. I don’t hate my life.” you answer , anger pooling in your throat. 

“Hey man. Lay off.” Danny says with a look of warning. 

“Of course you don't hate your life” the man says ignoring Danny completely. 

“You just do it for attention, think if you slice yourself up maybe someone will feel bad for you huh? I've seen your kind before girl.” he speaks again. OK now this idiot was pissing you off. You never did it for attention, attention was the last thing you wanted, especially when it came to your scars, you wished you could erase them.

“Look, I've got three things to say to you,” you reply with an irritated sigh. You stood up from your stool and stepped closer to the man. 

“One” you say, holding up your pointer finger giving the illusion that you were going to list reasons of argument to him. Instead you ball your hand into a fist and punch the guy right in his fucking jaw with all your drunken might. To your surprise (and no doubt everyone else's) the bartender fell to the floor, you knocked him out.. Everyone was wide eyed and silent 

“Lets get outta here” Josh says, breaking the glistening silence in the bar, noticing everyone looking at the five of you. Jake grabbed a bottle of Jack before all of you ran out of the door. None of you could suppress your laughs as you took off down the street. Out of breath you all keeled over in a field of grass a few feet from the tour buses in a fit of laughter. You sat down on the wet grass and looked up at the clouds. Danny sat on your left and Sammy was on your right, Josh and Jake sat in front of you and you all formed a small little circle. 

“That felt good” you say softly, referring to punching that shit head of a bartender. Sam laughed.

“Yeah that was awesome, I can't believe you knocked him out” Jake chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. The air went silent again as you all sat with your own thoughts. Your face slowly lost emotion as thoughts of what the man said swirled around your mind. You tried not to let what people said to you about your scars get to you too much but it was hard sometimes. Danny noticed your expression and you felt his hand draw soft circles on your back.

“That guy was an idiot. He was just being an asshole” Josh said softly, you nodded, knowing he was right. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe you were just really that sad but a tear fell down your face and your voice cracked as you spoke. 

“I just feel so alone sometimes” you wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell. You could feel all of them watching you with sympathetic eyes.

“Everyone's got their vice (y/n)” Danny said quietly, his hand still grazing your back. 

Josh rolls his shirt sleeve up and reveals dozens of little horizontal scars covering his shoulder. He grabs your hand and you look up at him to meet his gaze. He stroked your hand with his thumb and gave you a comforting, gentle look. 

“You're not alone”

[https-em]

Bucky Barnes: Power Outage

Warning: this is a smut!

(repost from my Wattpad)

This is my baby right here 👉🏻

Words: 4,000 - i put a whole ass storyline into this

Sum: While staying at the Avengers complex, Y/N finds herself stuck in a power outage, lucky there’s one other person awake to keep her company. Lemme tell you, she’s real lucky.

~

I turn my head stare out the window into the dark country sky. I admire the stars and the nice blue sky  In upstate New York, the rain crashing down against the window. I woke up in the middle of the night and I can't fall back asleep so now I am soaking in a bath. A dim light is in the corner of the room, not serving much light. I take my hand and play with some of the bubbles.

My own home got destroyed due to an Avenger incident, my apartment complex went down. Thankfully I'm closely aquatinted with Wanda who is allowing me to stay with her in the Avenger complex. No hard feelings, I got my own guest room honestly I can't complain. Tony and most of the Avengers have been gone out on business for a while, but Wanda and a few others are still here. Honestly it's been rather relaxing and welcoming.

Strangely, the dim light flickers off. I furrow my eyebrows and sit up in the tub. I'm in complete darkness.

"That's creepy," I whisper and stand up, pulling the drain lever. Maybe the bulb burnt out. I grab my towel and wrap it around myself, stepping out of the tub and drying myself off.

I drop my towel and grab my clean clothes, pulling shorts and a tank top over my body. I can see myself in the mirror, my tired eyes and wet hair. My shirt clings to my body, making it almost see through, but I figure I won't see anyone. I shiver and open the door which leads to the hallway. Everything is pitch black and I can't see anything. I begin to hear a faint noise far away, it sounds like bottles clinking together. I blindly walk towards the noise and my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness.

I turn random corners and realize I'm walking in the direction of the kitchen. It's very late, I wonder who is up. Gliding my fingers against the wall so I don't bump into anything, I see a dark figure moving around in the kitchen. Timidly, I walk towards it and cross my arms, feeling overwhelmingly cold.

"Hello?" I ask in a low voice.

I stand at the entry of the open kitchen, looking at this large figure which is not Wanda. His arms are moving around and it looks like he is pouring alcohol. His head looks up and his hair falls behind his head.

"Hey."

He has a low and calming voice, I know who that voice belongs to. My feet patter along the cold tile as I walk towards the counter. I can't really see anything but I can kind of see his face. I think that’s Bucky, I've talked to him before in these past couple of days. Before I came here, Wanda talked about him because she assumed I would be scared of him. I look down at the bottle he is pouring and see it's vodka. He is straight up drinking vodka in a whisky glass. He must take alcohol well. But it is past twelve in the morning– seems personal.

Moonlight shines from the window and surrounds us, giving me a better view of his face. He looks at me with kind eyes and pushes a glass towards me.

"What do you drink?" He asks and turns around to the alcohol cabinet.

I can tell he just came out of bed, he's wearing grey sweatpants and a tee shirt. I can see his metal arm that extends from his shoulder, I eye it for a moment, trying not to stare at it.

I stumble my words and say, "anything really." I wasn't planning on drinking tonight, I was actually planning to look at apartments in Manhattan.

He pulls a bottle of something out of the cabinet and turns towards me.

"Enjoying yourself so far?" He asks with a small smile on his lips.

I nod my head and say, "it was very generous of Tony to let me stay here. I'm leaving soon though."

He pours himself another glass of vodka and I can smell it from here, it's burning my nose. With that much alcohol in his stomach, he must be drunk.

"I haven't seen you around here that much," I mutter and drink some more of the wine. I think this wine costs more than me.

My mind trails off but then I recall that it's true, I have only spoke to him a couple of times but other than that, I haven't really seen him. I can tell he's shy and reserved.

He nods his head and speaks, "you can probably tell this place isn't very private. Tony has his security following me around all day. I'd rather live anywhere else but here honestly."

"Why's that?"

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "he thinks I'm a threat." My bottom lip pouts when he says that which makes him chuckle.

"Well," I speak and finish the glass. "You seem fine to me."

He smiles and looks up at me for a couple of seconds and we sit in silence. He's rather handsome, his stubble and hair compliment his face rather well, and even in the darkness I can see his deep eyes. Looking away, I stare out the window at the horrible storm.

I clear my throat and ask, "what happened with the lights?" Obviously trying to make small talk.

Bucky shrugs his shoulders, "just the storm probably. But no one is awake to fix it."

I laugh and look back up at him. So I'm stuck in darkness for who knows how long.

"Rough night?" I finally ask, watching him chug his glass of vodka.

He nods his head and stares down at the bottom of his glass. "Yeah." I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I feel rather comfortable around him, Wanda was right.

"You’re not alone on that one.”

I can see another smile forming on his face. "Why are you awake at this hour? Beauty sleep is important you know."

I laugh and respond, "I couldn't sleep so I took a bath. And then the power went out."

He nods his head and his mouth timidly opens like he's going to say something. His bottom lip falls and he timidly says, "you're being really nice to me." It almost sounded like a question.

I furrow my eyebrows In confusion and my words slowly stumble out, "why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

"I don't mean to state the obvious but,” he looks down at his arm and my gaze shifts to his to robotic piece. “the metal arm is kind of flashy," he jokes.

I shake my head and say, "Wanda throws things with her mind, I'm not one to judge."

"Well," he begins and plays with his glass. "I'm not used to this much kindness from a stranger. People don't take lightly on what I did." He taps the glass with his digits. “Not to get all sappy here, but..” He trails off with weak laughter.

A small smile forms across my cheeks and I shake my head, " I don't believe in ghost stories."

He mutters, "a lot of people do."

He smiles and his hand reaches over the counter for mine. My eyes follow his hand as I’m curious what he’s going to do. His hand wraps around mine and carries my hand to his lips. "You're a doll." He places a soft kiss on my knuckle, slightly grazing my knuckle with his sharp stubble. I can feel the warmth rising in my cheeks like I’m some child. We look at each other for a second, which seemed like forever, and just from those seconds I can tell he is in desperate need of loving– genuinely speaking as well. Our hands rest on the table, his on top of mine. Then I hear a loud familiar bang remarkably just outside the window; my body tenses up and I peer outside. Bucky couldn’t help but to chuckle a little. The amount of thunder outside is making me wonder how long this complex will be in darkness.

My eyes finally meet Bucky’s and I sense some sort of tenderness in them. My first instinct was to question his sobriety, but then again I don’t think any human would even be standing from drinking that much alcohol. “Are you drunk?” My head falls and I watch our hands.

"No."

And that was all I needed. There’s something about how he’s scanning all over my face and arms, and shoulders, and my neck– something rather extraordinary.

Bucky slips his hand away from mine and reaches into his pocket, fiddling for something. I look down at my empty hand and swallow my disappointment. I slide my hand back to my wine glass and fiddle with the stem, distracting myself. I notice a bright light and look up to see Bucky on his phone. He squints from the light and his eyes crinkle as he analyzes the screen. I turn my head and stare out the window at the rain, watching as each bead hits the glass, splattering and cracking into multiple directions. I turn my direction back to Bucky, thinking of conversation to make.

From the speaker on the ceiling, I hear a robotic voice speak, "connected to IPhone." In confusion, I watch as Bucky places his phone down flat on the counter and he gives me a small smile. Surrounding me, I hear the sweet tune of Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra. I instantly smile in excitement.

Bucky sticks out his hand to me, and without sharing words, I know what he is asking.

I can feel myself being flattered by his request, and I stutter for a moment before eventually and uncertainty giving him my hand.

Bucky broke out into a toothy smile, pulling me into the open kitchen, right below the speaker. The music floods in all directions, I can feel it swaying around me. My eyes trail up his face and lock eyes with him. He bears such kind, watery eyes that visibly travel all around my face and body. Bucky tilts his head lower, leaning closer to me, causing pieces of his chocolate hair to fall on his cheeks.

Bucky lifts up his arm and twirls me around, I couldn't help but giggle. My hair whirls around my head and I come to a stop in front of him. His tired eyes look into mine and his hands grab at my waist, pulling me closer to him. I slide my hands up his neck, feeling the muscles and caressing his prickly skin, eventually resting them behind his head. We move in tiny circles to the smooth beat as I slightly sway my hips.

He twirls me around again, wind fluttering my hair, a thought comes to my head and I say again, "I think you're drunk."

He shakes his head and chuckles. "I'm not drunk."

The song ends and we continue to dance as another song which I don't know but it sounds old-timey. I swear I can do this forever. But he stops me in front of him and keeps his hands wrapped firmly around my waist. I can feel my heartbeat increasing, and my skin getting a hot flush of red as we stand on the cold tile just admiring each other. Truth be told, no words can stumble out of my lips right now, he has me locked in a trancelike state. My finger tips start to circle around pieces of his hair, making his tongue swipe across his bottom lip.

My lips part and I speak a couple of words, "we should get to sleep soon.” I look past his face and into the empty hall.

Bucky's smile fades and his face slowly moves closer to mine, his breath bouncing off of my face. Our faces are centimeters apart, I had an overwhelming feeling to move closer, like something was even pulling us closer

"I don't want to sleep."

  Then Bucky filled the gap and kissed me, I shut my eyes, sliding my hands down to his stubbly jaw, and gently gripping him, falling into his cracked lips. I kiss back, our lips gently moving together until he pulls away, staring down at my face with his eyebrows gently furrowed. I can feel my body temperature rising every second that he just looks at me with his deep eyes, there are hints of lust as well, him slowly looking at my body and every curve of my face just added to it. I can feel myself wanting more of him. Maybe it was the time, maybe it was the wine, or maybe it's just him- but I ache to show this man love.

Through the silence of us and the song playing in the background, he mumbles, "are you leaving soon?"

I nod my head and swipe his bottom lip with my thumb. "Yes," is all that I can say, it seems all of my words are choked up in my throat.

"I don't want you to."

His voice is deep and demanding, making me realize that I don't want to either. Bucky smushes his lips against mine, making a little moan slip out of my mouth. His lips separate from my mouth, making me ache for more, they slide down to my neck and I tilt my head back, giving into his gentle yet lustful kisses. His large hands swiftly make their way to my ass, and in a quick motion, he lifts me up into his arms. He detaches his lips from my neck, and cold air hits against the wet kiss marks, sending shivers down my body. Bucky gently places me down on the counter, his hands placed firmly on my waist.

His thick fingers run along my back, giving me tingles and a sensation I didn't know was possible. I can feel a heat and a tickling sensation run throughout my stomach and core as his wet lips tease me with kisses and his fingers dance along my back. I can taste the vodka on his tongue that plays with mine.

His hands move down to my thighs and he gently grabs at them. I wrap my legs around his waist and slide my hands down his torso and up his shirt, feeling his abs and every muscle on his body. He leaves a trail of sloppy wet kisses down my neck and soon the only noise in the room was our heavy breathing and slow music. Some part of me wants the lights to come back on so I can see every single part of him. I pull up his shirt and he stops kissing me. He rests his head on my chest and looks up at me.

“Are you sure?"

Before he can finish his sentence I cut him off and eagerly assure him, "yes."

Bucky goes to work, removing himself from me and pulling off his tee shirt. I gawk at his bulging biceps and thick torso. My eyes trail up his chest to his eyes, only see lust and passion in his them; Bucky bites down on his bottom lip and leans into me, kissing me softly, making sure there’s no skin left untouched. His rough, calloused hands run up my shirt and send a shiver throughout my entire body. I can feel myself getting excited and eager, rubbing my thighs together to make some friction. Under my shirt, Bucky grabs at my bare boobs, massaging me while lustfully kissing me. I grab at his lip with my teeth and gently pull his lip as little moans fall from my mouth.

He takes off my shirt and lets it drop to the floor, and for a moment he stares at my chest, admiring my body.

"You're gorgeous, doll."

I smirk and moan as he plants wet kisses on my exposed nipple. When he pulls away I get hit with a burst of cold air on my boobs. He leans into my ear, biting it and kissing my jaw. I throw my head back and tangle my hands into his hair, tugging gently at his locks. His breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine.

"I want you," I whisper into his ear.

Bucky grabs my thighs and roughly pulls me towards his hips. "Yeah?" He asks in a husky low voice. His voice makes my hormones go nuts, I can already feel myself dripping for him. I can feel his large excited bulge inside his sweatpants waiting for me as Bucky's hips grind against me.

"Not just yet, doll," he mumbles in my ear.

My body wants him, in a way I need him. His fingers hook in my shorts and pull them down, along with my panties. They both drop to the floor. I'm completely bare, and his eyes roam my body like I'm candy. Bucky hooks his arms around my thighs and pulls me to the edge of the counter. He bends down, coming eye to eye with my dripping pussy. His stubble runs along my inner thighs as he places small kisses on my skin. His tongue pressed between my folds, dipping deeply into my clit, teasing me. My free hand grabbed his hair, pulling it out of his face. Bucky licked kissed and sucked like he couldn't get enough of me, taking 'eating me out' to the next level.

"Bucky," I gasp and he looks up at me, staring into my eyes just to see how I react to his tongue flicks.

His mouth wraps around my pussy and pulls my thighs closer to him, locking his lips against my pussy. He doesn't stop, continuing to devour me, and his aggressive tongue sent me over the edge. He still stares up at me, watching me come close to my orgasm.

"James," I moan and throw my head back in ecstasy. I felt the tight coil inside myself snap, my walls tightening and legs trembling with the shocks of pleasure coursing through my body. I try to close my legs from my sensitive clit, but Bucky pushes them open and slowly licks the enternece of my pussy- cleaning me up. I think that was the quickest I have ever orgasmed.

I speak unintelligible words, "oh my god."

Bucky stands up and spreads my legs that feel like jelly across the counter.

He scans my entire body, taking the image of me in and muttering,” you’re gorgeous.”

He leans down and plants a kiss on my lips before taking his thumb and gliding it across my entrance. Bucky kisses me as his middle finger slowly slides inside my wet entrance. He pumps a couple of times and I whimper. His erect cock springs out and Bucky pulls my thighs closer to him, aligning himself with my entrance.

His hand circles his thick cock against my hot folds, and I swear his teasing is killing me. His cock scrapes against my sensitive nub and I let out gentle frustrating moans. I can feel myself trembling under his touch.

He finally aligned himself with me and stared into my eyes, slowly pushing himself inside of me, looking at me to see how I react. I let out a low hiss and bite my cheek as he pushed into my tight core. He watched my distressed face, slowly pumping in and out of my wet core. I can feel his veins rubbing against my walls, which only lead to more indescribable pleasure.

"Faster."

Bucky happily obliged, sliding deeper and harder into me. I tilt my head back in ecstasy. I had never felt to filled until this moment. Every hard thrust sent throbbing pleasure throughout my body. His hands comforted me, his cold metal hand placed on my waist, and his warm hand holding open my thigh, gently caressing it.

He looks at my face, admiring every ounce of pleasure I showed through my face. Bucky grunts and snaps his hips harder, pushing himself further inside of me. I mutter something like 'yes' or 'more,' his cock completely sending waves of pleasure inside me.

"You feel so good, babydoll," Bucky mutters, digging his fingers into my leg and hip.

After what seemed like minutes, the noises in the room got louder, our breath picked up, and our moans echoed throughout the room. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what is going on in the kitchen, but I don't care.

I can feel myself coming over the edge, my hands went to my head, putting my hands over my head. Bucky snaps and rolls his hips one more time, making my body be sent over the edge and my walls tighten around him. All of the muscles in my body contract as I moan his name and he deeply fucks me. Bucky takes his hand and grabs my chin, making me look directly at him as I have a breathtaking orgasm. I swear I moaned his name over and over again. The feeling of my tightening walls around him and my moans was enough to make him cum on the spot. He pulls himself out of me and groans as a hot spurt of cum lands on my stomach, still staring into my ecstasy filled eyes.

We both calm down, he turns his head and kisses my leg with wet kisses.

"That was amazing," I whisper, laying lifeless on the counter like jelly.

Bucky chuckles and looks down at me with passionate eyes. He caresses my thighs and smiles down at me. Bucky places his hands on my hips and lifts me up to his chest, I look up in his eyes and he grabs the back of my head, pulling me into a lustful kiss.

He whispers, "I think you should stay for a little longer."

He was serious, just looking down into my eyes. I smile and say, "I think I should too."

He kisses the top of my head before bending down and pulling up his sweatpants. He held his tee shirt over his shoulder and I swear I can stare at him forever. I place my hands on top of his biceps, gently feeling both of his arms. I run my fingers along the scar where metal meets skin, expecting resistance from him– but he doesn't pull away, he just looks into my eyes. I feel along his muscles, in every curvature of his body, admiring him. Bucky smiles and takes my hand, helping me off the counter and grabbing my clothes for me, putting my tank top over my head and pulling my shorts over my legs. His hands run from my feet up to my thighs and I get shivers down my spine.

Bucky holds my arm and we walk out of the kitchen, to what I assume is his bedroom. We pass peoples bedroom doors and no one seems to be disturbed. I think we got lucky.

As we walk into Bucky's room I hear his phone buzzing from his pocket. I take a look around Bucky's big melodramatic bedroom before seating myself in his bed that released a smell of cologne. He closes the door and takes his phone out of his pocket, putting it on speaker and leaving it on his dresser.

"Yeah?" Bucky answers. 

I hear a noisy background from the other line. I wonder who that is. In his dark room the only light is the light from his phone.

"Hey Buck."

I instantly recognize that voice, it's Steve. My attention snaps to the phone call.

"You should tell Tony to get his crew over here, there's a power outage, it's storming pretty bad outside."

Steve responds, "Yeah, we saw. They're coming in the morning."

"You saw?" Bucky questions.

Steve chuckles and I hear another voice chime in, who I recognize instantly. "Yeah we have cameras tinman," Tony loudly announces.

Bucky and I freeze, looking at each other, just remaining dead silent.

Tony jokes, "I guess the tinman does have a heart after all."

I put my hand over my mouth as I stare off into his wall in amusement is disbelief. Bucky smirks and rubs his stubble with his fingers.

"Tony-" Steve speaks, interrupting Tony. Both of them start to laugh. At least they aren’t mad.

"I never knew a one hundred year old man can preform so well," Tony says.

I mumble to myself, "oh my god," and hold in my laughter. How unfortunate.

Bucky picks up his phone and says, "alright-" but only to get interrupted by Tony.

"I'm gonna have to get a cleaning service on that counter ASAP-"

Bucky instantly hangs up and we both start simultaneously laughing, probably waking up the entire complex. I've never been more embarrassed and more pleased in my entire life. Bucky sinks into bed with me, making me bounce up a little and weighing down his side of the bed. I turn to face him and we stare at each other smiling. Bucky places a kiss on my forehead and pressing his chin against my head. I lay there inhaling his intoxicating scent, falling into a daze.

Yeah, I think I'll stay longer.

[summahsunlight]

This Way Became My Journey, CH. 13

Chapters 1-10 / Chapter 11/ Chapter 12

A hot bath and a cup of tea was all Sarah Barrett really wanted when she stumbled into her quarters for her break. They had been traveling at warp speed for the past hour or so to get to Illidaria to ask for help in getting the trapped ship out of the event horizon and Sarah had spent just as long brushing up the rest of the crew on first contact protocols. It had taken a little longer than she was hoping, since the Maquis had no first contact policy and she had to start from scratch when it came to them. By now her feet were killing her and she had walked the equivalent of several miles on board the ship going from department to department.

Thankfully Chakotay's idea of routing power from deck seven had provided some power to the replicators in the mess hall so Sarah had been able to replicate a cup of red tea, with lemon, on her way back to her quarters. She sat in the living room, sipping it, while she waited for the bath to finish filling up. Pulling off the tunic of her uniform she decided to change into something more comfortable. She had one hour before she had to get back in uniform and man her office, there were several rookie space travelers that had requested to speak to her and she had somehow managed to cram them in; however she was going to make the most of this time off.

After slipping into a pair of navy blue cotton lounge pants and a spaghetti strap gray tank top she proceeded into the bathroom to check the water. The tub was almost full. Leaning over she turned the water off as the door chime rang out. Grunting, she pulled herself up. What now?

"Come in," she called, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. She wasn't surprised when Tom Paris sauntered into the room, carrying a bottle of champagne and what appeared to be a picnic basket. "What do you want, Tom?"

"I thought we'd celebrate."

"Celebrate what?" Sarah asked, bewildered.

"In case you didn't realize, it was one week ago that we were pulled from the Badlands into the Delta Quadrant, and there's no better way to celebrate than a lunch of champagne and emergency rations," Tom pointed out, pulling out two tumblers from the basket and placing them down onto the dining table. He popped the cork and the champagne fizzled a little before he poured each of them a generous portion.

"That's something to celebrate? Being stranded seventy five thousand light years from home?"

Tom laughed. "Come on Sarah, you know me better than that. We're celebrating surviving our first week out here." He handed her a glass of the bubbly alcohol and clanged his glass to hers. "Drink up; we've only got about three thousand eight hundred and ninety-nine more weeks to go."

She watched as he took a sip of the champagne. "You have a twisted sense of humor, you know that?" But, she reasoned, a glass of champagne would certainly help her unwind a little after the horrendous morning and afternoon that she had just had. She figured Tom's probably wasn't much better. Finally she took a sip out of her own glass and immediately felt her senses tingle. This was a clear violation of the terms that Starfleet insisted that she agree upon if she wanted to go back to work; hell it was a clear violation of Starfleet protocol period, no drinking on duty. But if they were discrete, no one would have any idea they had shared a drink together during lunch.

Tom plopped his tired body down onto her sofa and spread his arms out along the back, the glass resting between his fingers. "You know, I've always loved how the bubbles tingle my nose."

Sarah was shocked how he could toss aside all that was going on around them and just focus on the moment. How often had she wished in the past that she had that ability? She stood there in the middle of the room, her feet bare, hair curling over her shoulders, staring at him. Was this for real? Or was the champagne a facade so he could see her because there was a deeper problem at hand?

"What?" he asked, noticing her stare. "Do I have something up my nose?"

She blinked, snapping out of her trance. "Why are you here?"

"I already answered that question; to celebrate surviving our first week," Tom replied, restlessly.

"No, why are you really here?"

He let out a dejected breath. "I should have known you'd see right through me."

"The champagne may have been a little too much of a give away," Sarah tried to joke, but noticed that it was coming off all wrong. He frowned at her and she saw the anguish flash through his blue eyes. She didn't even think Tom Paris was capable of such an emotion and it immediately thrust her into counselor mode. "Tom, what's going on? You seem…upset."

Leaning forward, Tom's eyes met hers. "Do you ever feel that we've been set up to fail?"

"You mean Captain Janeway's decision to strand us here?" Sarah drawled, trying to understand where he was coming from. "She did what she thought was right. If we hadn't destroyed the array what would have happened to the Ocampa?"

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes, Sarah, I feel like we did what was right, that their needs out weighed ours, however, other times I feel that being back in New Zealand would be better than facing uncharted space. If this was solely a Starfleet crew I wouldn't be worried, however, we're talking about integrating enemies of the Federation into this crew, our chances of survival aren't good. We just as well will kill each other before we work together. Janeway had to have known that when she pulled the trigger, right?"

"To be honest Tom, I'm not sure what she was thinking when she made the decision," Sarah answered, sitting with him on the couch. "It wasn't like we all had time to discuss it." She tucked her feet underneath her legs and drew them closer to her. "I guess, we just have to have a little faith, after all, it seems that Captain Janeway has some faith in all of us." She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We'll get through it Tom, we'll make it home."

A sad smile stretched across his face. "You know something when I hear you say it, and hear Janeway say it, I believe it."

"Counselor Barrett, report to the Bridge."

Tom saw Sarah's eyes close and a dark look come over her face. The calm demeanor which she had regarded him in just mere seconds ago was gone, replaced with a worried and stressed look.

"We must be coming up on Illidaria," she murmured. Getting up she downed the rest of her champagne in a chug that impressed Tom, who was known for his chugging during his Academy days, and strode into the bathroom. He heard water draining from the tub and a few moments later she appeared from the room, clad now in her uniform, hair roughly tossed back and boots in her hands.

So much for the bath, Sarah thought as she put her boots on. She tapped her combadge. "Barrett to bridge, I'm on my way."

"The Captain would like to see you," Lieutenant Commander Tuvok instructed her when she stepped out of the turbolift. Sarah grimly nodded her head and proceeded to the ready room door, tapping the chime.

Janeway admitted her a few seconds later and she stepped into see an obvious flustered captain. "Is everything alright, ma'am?" The room was, putting it bluntly, a disaster. The product of having two children spend the whole day cooped up in there. Several toys littered the upper level, one of Ava's bottles had tipped over onto the coffee table and had leaked out, and Michael had made an elaborate block city that weaved around the entire area. Right now, both children were snuggled up, sleeping on the sofa taking what was probably a much needed nap.

"Oh, everything is just wonderful, Lieutenant," the older woman drawled, answering her question, her blue eyes staring intently at the younger woman. "I've got a trapped ship I cannot help without making first contact with a species we know nothing about, second, my children are running rampant all over this ship, third, I don't know who to put in charge down in Engineering. Do you know I tried to do as Chakotay suggested and get to know B'Elanna? She just stormed out of here, right before you came in. I was hoping that you would have made it here before she left. Tell me, Sarah, what am I doing wrong? I've tried to be accommodating, I've tried being welcoming to the Maquis, nothing is working."

"Captain, I don't think there is much more you can do…for the Maquis that is," Sarah responded quickly. "I've tried to get to know B'Elanna as well, all I meet is aversion. Of course to her, I'm nothing but a Starfleet brat."

Janeway had heard that term often enough as well growing up, since her father had been Starfleet. Perhaps that was the problem with many of the Maquis, they believed that she had not earned her way to this position, thus did not have the authority to dictate their lives. So what did that mean, that she get on the comline and tell her life story?

"Sickbay to Captain Janeway," the Doctor's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes Doctor?"

"May I request that you activate your emergency medical holographic channel?"

Sarah watched as Janeway moved to sit behind her desk and activate her personal computer. Harry must have fixed it quickly, she thought with mild amusement, recalling how the Captain had burst forth from the ready room to get a status report that morning with the broken terminal in her hand, placed it in Harry's lap and told him to see if he could fix it. When he asked what had happened to it, her answer had been, a one year old.

Janeway was gazing at the newly fixed screen with a funny look and briefly Sarah wondered if Harry hadn't fixed it. "Doctor, I'm getting a distorted image. Mister Kim obviously didn't fix my computer thoroughly."

"No captain," the Doctor's voice came over the computer. "You're computer is working properly. This is how I currently appear. I'm…shrinking."

"Shrinking?" Janeway repeated, eyebrows arching in fascination. She propped her chin in her elbow to hide the smile that was no doubt making its way across her face.

The Doctor saw her amusement and scowled, telling how much he was shrinking by. "I've informed Mister Kim; apparently, he has more pressing matters to tend too, for example fixing your computer. However, my…personal problem, is not what I'm calling you about. Several crew members have reported severe headaches, muscles spasms, and sudden waves of dizziness. I've treated them of course."

Let's just add this to the list of things I have to deal with, Janeway thought bitterly. "This could be related to the quantum singularity we encountered a few hours ago," she told him, and immediately saw his face cloud over with disgust. Oh dear, no one informed him.

"Quantum singularity?" the Doctor repeated, in a harsh tone.

"It was sending out strong spatial distortions it might have affected the crew. And your systems as well," Janeway mused.

"You know Captain, if we were in the vicinity of a quantum singularity, I should have been informed."

She gave him an apologetic smile, realizing that since he was their only doctor at the moment, and seeing how he did not have the freedom to come to bridge, there had to be a way set up for him to get information on what was going on, other than by word of mouth. "You're absolutely right. I'll look at linking your program into the ship's database." Suddenly the ship jolted and Janeway was tossed about in her chair.

Stumbling to her feet both Janeway and Sarah left the ready room, neither of them realizing that the Captain had failed to terminate her link with the Doctor, who was calling after Janeway, "Hello? Captain?"

"Report," Janeway ordered, stepping up into the command station.

"It looks like we're running into more spatial distortions," Chakotay answered her, turning to face her.

"I'm reading a highly localized disturbance off the port bow," Harry Kim said.

"On screen," Janeway said, facing the view screen. An image of another event horizon appeared, very similar to the one they had left behind to go to Illidaria to get help. "Mister Tuvok?"

Tuvok ran his fingers over his console, gathering readings. "It is another type four quantum singularity. The physical and temporal dimensions are identical to the one we encountered earlier."

A beep came from Tom's instruments and the young pilot, who had taken his station after Sarah left her quarters, glanced over his shoulder at Janeway. "Captain, according to these coordinates, we've returned to our previous position. This isn't another singularity, it's the same one."

B'Elanna Torres didn't know why, but she was nervous sitting in the staff meeting that had been called to discuss why they were going around in circles and ending back at the same singularity. Joe Carey, who had been called to the meeting as well, looked smug and not the least bit fazed. There were rumors running rampant that this meeting was the one where Janeway was going to make her decision about chief engineer. B'Elanna figured she had ruined any chances of getting the position when she had stormed out of Janeway's office not even an hour ago. But she would be lying if she didn't want the job, for some reason she wanted to prove to Janeway that she was not going to fail, even if the woman was trying to set her up just to do that. However, at the same time, she knew that she wasn't officer material.

In fact, she was so lost in thought that she wasn't aware the holographic doctor had been speaking over the view screen in the briefing room until he was done. He glumly reported that he was still shrinking and cut the connection.

Janeway was leaning forward on her elbows. Chakotay was seated to her right, Sarah Barrett to her left, followed by Tuvok, Harry Kim, Joe Carey, herself, and Tom Paris. What a motley crew, B'Elanna mused, looking about the table as Janeway began to speak to them.

"I've finished my study of the spatial distortion coming from the singularity," the Captain began. "I can give you a long, boring analysis. All I can say is, I don't know what is going on. The readings are confused, the data contradictory, none of it is making any sense. Anyone have anything more constructive?" she asked the group hopefully.

"Ship wide diagnostics have revealed nothing out of the ordinary," Tuvok reported.

"I tried sending out a tachyon signal to scan the singularity, but all I got back was static," Carey said.

B'Elanna was still lost in thought and only brought out of it when Chakotay asked her if she could work with Carey to clean up the signal. "Yes," she replied, eyes flicking to Janeway. "But it won't work. I mean it was a good idea to try, but it won't work."

"You have another idea?" the Captain asked her.

"I was just thinking about the Doctor's problem with the holographic projectors," B'Elanna responded, leaning forward in her chair and resting her elbows on the table. "It seems like the spatial distortions might be interfering with the projector's phase alignment."

Janeway looked intrigued. "That was my guess too."

"If that's the case," B'Elanna continued, "I might be able to screen out those distortions by setting up a localized dampening field around the projectors."

"Is our priority here really the medical holographic system?" Carey questioned, feeling like he was being out matched.

"My point is," B'Elanna said, " that if the spatial distortions are also interfering with the transmission we received from the other ship -," she didn't get the chance to continue, the Captain finished for her, following her path, stating that they could set up a similar system around their external sensors and communicate with them. "Exactly," the Klingon replied, "And they may know more than we do about what's going on."

"Let's give it a try," Janeway said enthusiastically. "Dismissed."

The group of officers got up from the table, with the exception of Janeway and all filed out of the room back onto the bridge. Chakotay turned around at the door to look at her, asking her a silent question. A small smile spread on her face and she gave him a gentle nod of the head. He returned the soft smile, before following the others out onto the bridge. Janeway leaned back in her chair, let out a calming breath and stood up, slowly making her way after her officers. She found them all hard at work, just like she knew they would be.

"The emitters are online," B'Elanna reported, with Janeway now standing over her shoulder, arms over her chest. "I'm rerouting the dampening field through the deflector grid."

Janeway moved towards operations. "Open a channel to the other ship." Immediately the bridge was filled with a garbled message, just like the one they had heard about hours ago it felt like now. B'Elanna announced that she was ramping up the field intensity.

"It's working," Kim said. "We're cutting through the distortions." The message still sounded garbled however. Janeway ordered him to remodulate the EM band to try to clean it up. "Compensating for amplitude distortion," he told her as he typed away at his console. A few moments later a clear transmission filled the bridge and it shocked them all. It was the Captain's hail from hours before when they had first come across the singularity.

"That's your hail," Chakotay told her, even though she didn't need to be told.

"I'm applying our dampening field to our visual scanners to see if I can clear up the image," B'Elanna said. When she did it, it was another shock to the bridge crew, because the ship they were trying to rescue all along was Voyager. All this time they had been trying to save themselves. Suddenly it hit B'Elanna and Janeway as well, they were the ones trapped in the singularity all along, there had never been another ship.

"Red alert," Janeway ordered, the lights dimming and an alarm blaring a few warnings.

"Sensors confirm it's definitely U.S.S Voyager," Tom reported, peeking at his console between staring at the screen.

"I've been hailing the ship on all frequencies," Tuvok said, "But I've gotten no response."

Janeway narrowed her eyes. "I don't think you'll get a response, Commander," she told him, patiently. "That message we unscrambled is the same message I sent out hours ago."

"Could we have traveled back in time and met ourselves?" Kim asked.

"No," B'Elanna said firmly, "that's not it." She moved towards Janeway across the back of the bridge and went to stand face to face with her. "I think I have an explanation." For a moment their eyes met and then Janeway nodded towards the briefing room again, asking that the senior officers move in there.

B'Elanna moved with the others into the briefing room that they had occupied a mere five minutes before, but didn't bother taking a seat like the rest of them. She was too nervous that Janeway was going to think she was crazy. Instead, she nervously paced around the table giving her explanation as to what was going on. "Think of it like this," she started, "you're sitting at the bottom of a pond, which is frozen over, and you look up at the surface and see a reflection of yourself. Now, you might think you're looking at another person, sitting at the bottom of another pond, looking back at you."

To her surprise, Janeway was buying it. "And in this case, we'd be staring up at the surface of the event horizon and seeing a time delayed reflection of ourselves."

"Are you saying we're the ones trapped in the singularity?" Chakotay asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," B'Elanna replied.

"You're right," Janeway agreed, "it's the only theory that explains everything that's happened to us. We've probably been in this singularity since we felt the first jolt."

Paris was confused. "Wait a minute," he interjected. "Let me get this straight. We were cruising along at warp seven, and then picked up a distress call. So we moved into investigate, but now you're saying that the other ship is just a reflection of us, and that the distress call is just the captain's opening hail. But we picked up the distress call before she sent the hail. How could we have been seeing a reflection of something we hadn't even done yet?" He looked around the table to see that everyone was staring at him, and that Janeway had a smirk on her face. "Am I making any sense here?"

"No," Janeway replied, "but that's okay. One of the more difficult concepts to grasp in temporal mechanics is sometimes effect can precede cause. A reaction can be observed before an action that initiated it."

"So how do we get out?" Kim asked.

"I'm not sure," B'Elanna replied, intensely. "But, I do know one thing. That as we slide deeper into the singularity, the spatial distortions are increasing. If that's the case, then we might not have a lot of time before they crush the ship."

Janeway got up from the table and moved around it to stand next to her. "If your analogy is correct, how do we get through that sheet of ice?"

"Look for a crack!"

"Or make a crack," Janeway said in response to B'Elanna. "Take something and slam into the ice until it buckles."

"Wait a minute," B'Elanna said. "What if we already made a crack in the ice?"

"When we first entered the event horizon," Janeway mused along with her.

"If we can find our entry point we might be able to slip out the way we came in," B'Elanna replied.

"So we would be looking for a subspace instability in the event horizon," Janeway speculated. "What would make it show up on our sensors?"

Silence passed between them for a couple of seconds and then they both said at the same time, "Warp particles!"

"If we saturate the event horizon with warp particles we might be able to see them escaping through the rupture we made when we entered!" Janeway exclaimed turning about on her heel and leaving the room. The rest of the officers, most of them stunned by what had just taken place, followed suit.

B'Elanna heard Paris remark to Barrett, "What the hell just happened?" Out of the corner of her eye, B'Elanna could see a small smile creep across the counselor's pretty face as she turned to reply to the hotshot pilot, "I think B'Elanna Torres just got promoted to chief engineer."

She felt satisfaction in hearing that. But she didn't know how much truth was behind the words that Barrett had just said. After all, B'Elanna may have found a way out of the event horizon for them, but that didn't mean Janeway was seriously going to take her on as chief engineer. She still wasn't sure how she felt about the whole thing herself. Was she capable of leading? I guess there's only one way to find out, she thought to herself as she went to stand in the command station with Janeway and Chakotay, while Tuvok took the main deflector off line. Kim was rerouting the power of the plasma flow to the main deflector so they could use it to generate a warp field.

B'Elanna stood rigidly next to Chakotay, realizing that if this didn't work, she was fresh out of ideas on how to get them out of the event horizon and Voyager would be crushed. Well I gave us a week to survive out here, but I didn't think we'd be crushed to death by a quantum singularity.

"Release the warp particles," Janeway ordered. A steady stream of particles emitted from the deflector dish and into the even horizon, filling the bridge with a bright orange glow. Paris immediately began to scan the singularity for an changes. But B'Elanna was anxious.

"Anything?" she rasped out, harshly.

"Not yet," Kim reported, coolly. "Warp particles at full intensity."

"I'm picking up something," Paris announced, fingers running across the conn. "It could be a rupture in the event horizon."

B'Elanna exchanged a relieved glance with the Captain before she ordered to have it put on screen. Sure enough, there was rupture. Now if only its big enough for the ship to get through, B'Elanna thought hopefully. But Paris was already delivering the bad news that it was too small. She felt anger taking a hold of her. "It must have collapsed since we first past through it."

"We found the crack," Janeway said, trying to calm her. "That's the important thing. Let's focus on how we can make it bigger."

"Put a wedge in it and force it open," B'Elanna retorted still feeling angry. "We could try a dekyon beam."

Janeway nodded her head and ordered Paris to move them closer to the rupture, but he turned in his seat and looked at her pensively. "Captain, if we get too close to the rupture our warp engines might make it collapse even further."

Damn it, B'Elanna thought as the Captain asked if they could emit the beam from their current position. Kim told her that they didn't have enough power to emit one from this distance. Another damn.

"Alright, we'll take a shuttlecraft," Janeway said, placing her hands on her hips.

It didn't surprise B'Elanna that Tom Paris was standing up, offering himself up to pilot the shuttle. It did surprise her though that Janeway was putting him down. He had made a valuable point, that she needed her best pilot and that was him. But hers was maybe a little bit more valuable; she needed someone with her that understood temporal mechanics. Once that was out, B'Elanna suddenly realized, Kahless, she means me!

Sure enough Janeway told B'Elanna that she was going to accompany her, and with a final order of leaving Chakotay in charge, the two women left the bridge, en route to the shuttlebay.

[wonder-wonpil]

lotto (1) ; prologue

Warning : excessive cursing, degrading terms towards women, triggering content, violence, and such. This is a mafia! au. Read at own risk.

Inspired by the MV Lotto by EXO, therefore this takes place during the Lotto era.

lot·to

ˈlädō/

(n.) a lottery game similar to bingo.

When you live in this city, surely you've heard of the name EXO being associated with dangerous, mature stuff. Drug dealing, loan sharking, human trafficking, and the list goes on. They're very powerful -- so powerful, in fact the police didn't dare interfere with whatever illegal business they're doing.

It didn't help that they were pledged under the SM Alliance with other dangerous mafias such as themselves -- NCT, SUJU, F(X), and many more. In short, EXO aren't people you'd want to get involved with.

"Hi!" An overly cheery red-haired man greeted. He had a good muscular build for someone who's a little shorter than average.

The man was no other than Byun Baekhyun -- genius spy and the leader of EXO's second raid squadron. He had a messy, unruly red hair, and a pair of brown eyes, in addition with that playful grin on his child-like face.

The man rolled in the room with a wheely chair, stopping where another man was standing behind the counter with a stoic expression.

"I'm in charge of desk today, much to my displeasure. How can I help youuu...?" Baekhyun squinted his eyes before looking to the other male, a smirk present on his face as he cocked his head to the side, waiting for an answer.

"Sehun," the man, presumably named Sehun was a tall man with a nice build, with blonde locks and dark brown eyes, and a stoic expression, preferably because of his thick eyebrows. So to say, he was a beauty. "I'm here to see Suho." Sehun said curtly.

Baekhyun's eyes widened -- not in surprise, but in amazement. He pulled a knife out of his back pocket and Sehun watched intently as Baekhyun started twirling the knife.

"You want to see the boss?" Baekhyun began. "I mean, yeah, I can arrange a meeting. But you're a man with a brain. How much are you willing to pay this starving man?"

Sehun slammed a heavy suitcase worth of money on the counter, but Baekhyun didn'n't seem phased, nor surprised.

"I need to see him," Sehun repeated. "Fast."

Baekhyun was still looking at Sehun with the same amused expression, "You're young, Sehun. Are you sure you want to pay this amount of money for a trip to hell?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Sehun frowned, but his faltered voice didn't escape Baekhyun's ears. Of course, Baekhyun was a professional spy. But in all honesty, "spy" is just a cooler word for stalk and eavesdrop.

"Jongdae -- Oh, Bacon? The hell is taking you so long?" Another voice -- a rather feminine one, this time -- piped in on the conversation.

Not long after, the owner of the voice stepped out of the same door where Baekhyun rolled in. The woman was shorter than Baekhyun -- with her ponytail and brown eyes, a bottle of beer in her hand.

She looked half-drunk, with lidded eyes and a slurring tone, and faint tear stains on her cheeks. She was pretty, to say the least. Sehun wondered why, but decided not to push it. She was probably one of the girls Baekhyun brought home from a strip club EXO owned.

"Oh, a client?" She asked, taking a chug from her bottle, "Sorry, my bad."

"He wants an exclusive meet and greet with Suho," Baekhyun smirked. "I don't know, can we make it happen? Poor guy's paid quite a lot."

"Eh, with Myeonie?" The woman asked, leaning on the counter after taking another sip of her beer.

"Who's Myeonie?" Sehun asked to no one in particular.

Baekhyun continued, ignoring the younger (yet taller) man. "Funny, really, paying for your death."

"Nice, young lad, I like the spirit," She flashed him a thumbs up before taking another sip. It made Sehun wonder how old she was, she looked no older than him.

"But my advice; you need to stay away from that crazy bastard. He's nuts, I tell 'ya." This time, she offered the bottle to Baekhyun, who happily took a big gulp.

"You're not anyone I know, nor you know me. So here's my advice for you; stay the hell away from my business." Sehun growled.

"Feisty, nice. But sorry, anything involving him --" she pointed to the red-haired man who has happily chugging the drink, "-- involves me, whether you like it or not."

"Who would've thought? For a good two minutes I thought you were another one of his whores he sleeps around with." Sehun countered.

At his words, the woman's eyes widened, a look of hurt flashed on her face as Baekhyun slammed the bottle down, using the knife to press on Sehun's neck.

"Ay, we've had rude customers, but Boss ain't going to be happy you said that to (y/n). Have some manners." He warned, the malice in his voice crystal clear. Sehun was frozen -- he didn't know what to do. He knew this man was dangerous -- but not this dangerous.

"So she's Suho's whore?" Sehun blurted before he could stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He silently cursed to himself -- why can't he be quiet for once?

"Why, you piece of shi-" Baekhyun, anger and annoyance now present on his face as he lunged forward to grab Sehun's collar while the other aimed for Sehuns's neck. Sehun didn't have time to step back, everything was happening so quickly.

"Baekhyun, that's enough." (y/n) told him with a stern voice as she pulled on Baekhyun's shirt. Had she wasted another second, Sehun would already be bleeding to death with a knife down his throat. Although it's not half bad, Baekhyun had managed to make a cut -- deep enough to draw a little bit of blood.

Sehun's eyes widened -- what the hell just happened? He let out an exhale he didn't even noticed he was holding in. Had she not pulled Baekhyun back, he would be six feet under. That is, if they gave him a proper burial instead of dumping him in with the other victims. Oh no, Sehun was far too beautiful for that.

"But, (y/n)!" Baekhyun whined as the so-called (y/n) grabbed the beer and sighed.

"I'll go arrange the meeting, but don't say I didn't warn you." (y/n) gave him one last glance before heading out to where she came from.

"Ah, sorry about that," Baekhyun apologized with a dangerously uncomfortable smile that made Sehun shift. "But I'd watch my words if I were you. Be glad I didn't kill you on the spot, yeah?"

Despite not understanding what Baekhyun said, Sehun got the message. He grunted, signalling that he understood.

"Yo, Baekhyun!" A tall man -- taller than Sehun, even -- came rushing in where Baekhyun and Sehun were sitting in awkward silence. Well, at least it was awkward for Sehun -- Baekhyun was too busy laughing at his phone to even notice.

"Chanyeol!" Baekhyun said in between gasps of air his lungs lacked from laughing, shoving his phone to the new person.

"OH MY GOD HE REALLY DID THAT?!" Chanyeol bursted before laughing along with Baekhyun, making Sehun rolled his eyes. They were grown man in the mafia, damn it.

And this man was Park Chanyeol, the red-haired leader of the first squadron in EXO, also known as the man who lead a raid which resulted in two warehouses down the ground.

"Anyway, (y/n) said you can bring the brat inside." Chanyeol motioned to a rather offended Sehun. Baekhyun rolled his eyes before calling Sehun to follow him in the door.

"So, your name is Sehun?" Chanyeol asked, trying to make the situation less awkward. Sehun responded with a stern nod, "Whoa, it's just me. No need to be too serious now, okay?"

"I mean the chances of you being alive after meeting up with Suho is reeeaaaally small," Baekhyun added as they kept walking down a dark corridor. "Especially after that (y/n) incident."

"Oh, what (y/n) incident? Do tell me more." Perched Chanyeol, who was looking at Baekhyun curiously. Sehun just stayed silent, he knew better.

Just as Baekhyun was about to tell the story of the titled "(y/n) Incident", another man stumbled out of the room on his right.

Sehun didn't recognize him at first, as he was wearing a cap over his face. Odd, because who wears a cap in their own room?

The man quickly took the cap off and tripped over his own steps, quickly rushing to where Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Sehun stood.

"Oh my god, m-my mug broke. You know what that means, right?" The ebony-haired man spluttered. By now, Sehun recognized him as Chen, EXO's technician and hacker. He wondered if that was his real name.

"Your mug broke?" Chanyeol repeated, looking clueless.

"Oh my god, I can't believe this. I have to go find (y/n), shit--" he began, stumbling over his own words.

Baekhyun told him that (y/n) was with Suho, and Chen quickly muttered a thank you and headed further down the corridor in a sprint. He did trip a few times as he was only wearing a pair of socks besides his hoodie and jeans.

The trio continued walking, but Baekhyun and Chanyeol -- or Dumb and Dumber, Sehun liked to call them -- had forgotten about the "(y/n) incident", much to Sehun's relief. Sure, he didn't know who (y/n) was, but if the genius Chen who's hacked through many security systems was looking for her in such a rush, she must be a pretty important person. Or, Sehun thought, she can just be a maid and Chen is just finding her to clean his broken mug.

The next person who greeted them was Kai, the brown-haired sharpshooter of EXO and the one in charge of the strip club. Baekhyun let it slip that he was more flirty than he ought to be.

"The sun's getting low, you're not going to bring a girl home?" Baekhyun questioned with a laugh. Kai only laughed back, before responding with a disappointed sigh.

"Yeah, since (y/n)'s still around and all. You know how she feels when we do the do when she's around. And she's in a bad mood," Kai let out another sigh. "Apparently the jerk turned out to be more of an asshole than we thought."

"What? She should've told us!" shouted Chanyeol, and Sehun was staring at him with a weirded out expression. Who was this jerk? "No wonder Jongdae's mug broke!"

Yeah, Sehun was getting himself in some pretty weird shit. Why do they associate a broken mug with (y/n)?

"I'll tend to her in a few, she's got Jongdae. I'll take this brat to Boss first." Baekhyun told him, motioning to Sehun. Kai nodded at him with a smirk before going on his merry way.

Sehun didn't want to speak any unnecessary things, but the curiosity was eating him away. So he opened his mouth and asked, "Who's (y/n)?"

This time, it was Baekhyun and Chanyeol who stared at him with a shocked expression. Sehun rolled his eyes, how ironic.

"Who's (y/n)?" Repeated Chanyeol. "Who's (y/n)?"

"That's what I asked." Sehun growled. Baekhyun only shook his head with a grin while reminding Sehun to keep walking.

Eventually, at the end of the corridor, two oak doors stand tall. Baekhyun knocked before a new voice answered, "Come in."

Baekhyun grinned as he opened the door to reveal Suho sitting on something best described as a throne the other end of a long table. Suho was a man who, despite the pink hair that oddly suited him, emitted a dangerous vibe -- even from the other end, Sehun could feel his cold onyx eyes on him.

And to the seat beside him, there was a man with blonde hair who was looking at Sehun in shock. He seemed to recognize Sehun, and Sehun as well. The man was Xiumin, or Minseok -- practically the only one in EXO Sehun was acquainted with.

"Sehun?" Minseok had muttered, but it echoed loud enough for the whole room to hear. Baekhyun turned to him in surprise.

"You know him?" Baekhyun asked. Minseok responded with a slight nod before turning to Suho.

"This is Sehun. He and I grew up in the same orphanage together along with Luhan," he told Suho. "We haven't spoken in quite a while, though."

Suho turned to Sehun with an amused smirk. "So, you came to visit your old friend?"

"Partly," Sehun replied. "I wanted to see you, too."

This only intrigued Suho more. "Ah, really? My pleasure. For what business, may I ask?"

"I have a criminal record," Sehun began. "I killed a few people, and I've done drugs and such. The police are on their way to track me down, so --"

"No," Suho cut him off sternly. Sehun glared at him. "No, we are not going to be your hiding place from the police. You do you, because in the end you'll burden us."

Sehun continued, "I want to join the mafia. And before you ask, I know what I'm getting myself into."

"And why, exactly, should we accept you?" Baekhyun snorted from Sehun's left, making the younger glare at him. Baekhyun didn't seem phased, though.

"Because I'm qualified?" Sehun raised a brow. Baekhyun, now eye to eye with the latter, challenged with a "Qualified by who?"

"By SM, of course." it was Sehun's turn to snort. All eyes in the room seemed to widen as they stared Sehun in shock.

Suho let out a hearty laugh, one that Sehun thought sounded a bit insane. "It's been a while since the SM Alliance reccomended someone. The last person was Baekhyun, right?"

Baekhyun scoffed as Chanyeol laughed. "Guess you're not the special one anymore, Baek. Tough battle."

"Please," Baekhyun rolled his eyes. "I'm obviously better and more skilled. You're not helping, Chanyeol."

"Very well, let me see the pass." Suho extended his hand, and Sehun placed a slip of paper on his palm. Sehun internally sighed. This was it, he was going to reunitw witu Minseok and Luhan, and start his new life, and -

"Junmyeon," a familiar voice called and entered the room from a different door, the one near Suho -- or Junmyeon, Sehun took it -- was (y/n).

"Oh, I take it you met the brat. He's an SM reccomended?" (y/n) hummed as she glanced over Junmyeon's shoulder, reading the pass with him.

"Guess you're not so special anymore, Bacon. Suck it, no more bragging." (y/n) laughed at Baekhyun, who turned beet red of embarrassment, which Chanyeol interfered with, "I said the same thing!"

"Anyway, welcome aboard, Oh Sehun," Junmyeon smiled. "You obviously know me, I'm Suho. Or Kim Junmyeon, the leader."

Everybody followed with simple introductions. "Byun Baekhyun, second raid squadron leader." Baekhyun said spitefully.

"Park Chanyeol, first raid squadron leader." Chanyeol followed.

"Kim Minseok or Xiumin, whichever you prefer," he shrugged. "First assassination squadron leader. Eldest. Glad to have you on board, Sehun."

"Ah, I take it that you met (y/n). This is Kim (y/n), my cousin, professional hacker and my second in command." Junmyeon smiled.

As soon as the words sunk in, Sehun's heart sank as well. Yeah, he just called the boss's cousin and apparently second in command that he's never heard of a fucking whore.

He was so fucked.