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hunnylagoon · 11 months ago

Text

Candy

PT1: Sober to Death

Ellie Williams x Reader

I’m home and here to stay like a ghost to haunt. You can’t shake me off your back for I linger in your head like carelessly uttered curse. Summer falls to ashes in my mouth and so I will spit them into your urn, just like that all of my devotion turns violent.

Premise: After a mental break you are being held together by nothing but glitter glue and craft yarn. You seek refuge with an old friend in a coastal town to live the life you thought you left behind.

Warnings: SENSITIVE THEMES / reader is a recovered addict / mentions of drug and alcohol abuse / angst / brief mentions of violence / possibly triggering discussions of drug addiction

Read at your own discretion

Inside me, something seethes. Inside me, some feral animal has been forced into a cage where it thrashes and screams. Perhaps I will turn into a snarling wolf and rip out the throats of each girl who made me go home crying in middle school. Maybe I will don the pelt of a sheep and surprise all of those who convinced me it was a good idea to try ketamine when I shed my cloak and reveal my long curled claws and fangs sharp as knives.

I'm heartless at worst and helpless at best.

I don't know how else to be. I was raised like a stick of dynamite lit from both ends and I can describe in detail how the earth warps beneath my feet or how I watch the sky bend until it snaps and collapses onto a body too tired to lift it back up.

Everything miles ahead of what I was, to them, I was only ever an addict. Cursed with the nickname 'popper' since tenth grade and everyone thought it to be nothing more than a joke they didn't know how I found serenity in the tablet of acid that rested on my tongue.

It started with pot and drinking on the weekends then flew into full-blown benders when I swallowed back synthetic sunshine like it was candy. None of my friends thought I would end up with my back plastered on my dorm floor, eyes wide with what once was a bottle of pills frothing out of my mouth.

It took me two overdoses to get here, had to put my white blood cells to work.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," Joel smiled at me, he was nursing a mug of coffee, a plate in front of him with a half-eaten piece of toast and a golden yoke running onto the porcelain. That might've been my favourite thing about the farm, fresh eggs. Once you have them you can never go back to the sad pale grocery store eggs.

"That makes two of us," I pulled out a chair from the wooden dining table and sat down. Joel had put so much love into this home. These days I’m too nauseous to eat breakfast.

"Ellie doesn't even wake up this early," He took a slug of his black coffee, the scent was strong, filling up the entire house, I could smell it the second I woke up. "How's the room? Is everything to your liking?"

I had felt so guilty for free-loading off Joel whom I hadn't seen since I was twelve, it had been eight years. He sent me cards on my birthday every year but I never was able to grasp how close our parents had been. I'm pretty sure I was friends with Ellie when I was little, there were pictures of the two of us hugging each other and playing beneath sprinklers, my front teeth missing, Ellie covered head to toe in Spider-Man band-aids. I didn't have any recollection of us when we were close, as we got older we got more stiff around each other. When my family would visit, she would hang out with her friends and I would keep to myself. Of course, my parents moved us to the city where everything hit me too hard all at once. "It's perfect, thank you."

"It's pretty hard to peel yourself off that mattress, huh?" Joel smiled at me, showing me every ounce of warmth he had when I was a child.

I nod in response "So much more comfortable than those stiff dorm mattresses," It almost felt like I was making conversation with a ghost.

"Since you're up so early, care for a tour while I do some chores?" He asked. I had been here a few days already, though I just kept to myself I didn't want to impose on his pleasant life with his daughter who hadn't called him at three am sobbing because she had too many opioids. I had wandered briefly around the farm of course and I had remembered bits and pieces of it from my childhood but I felt so out of place that I mainly locked myself inside of my temporary room and lived through my friend's Instagram stories.

"I'd love to," I smile politely, unsure of what else to do.

"Do you think you're gonna go back to school?" Joel asked as he stood up with his plate and mug in hand and began to wash them in the stainless steel sink. "No pressure, there's life outside of a lecture hall."

This was a question I had been thinking about day in and day out. I was a year and then some into getting my degree when my 'fun habits' began spiralling uncontrollably. My parents had managed to snag me a two-year deferral so I could go to rehab and go back to school the following year but I was so full of shame that I shook with the thought of going back. For the first time in my life, I am afraid I have no real desires.

When I was dead inside a motel bathtub, I thought I needed to be somewhere different but now that I'm there, I need to be someone different too. "I'm not really sure right now, just please don't tell my parents I said that."

"Secrets safe with me," He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag of cat food, shaking it until a scrawny calico cat appears out of thin air. Pepper happily devours the food Joel puts in her little bowl. I remembered Pepper, she was a kitten way back then and I would cut open socks to make clothes for her. "You should just know that it's never too late."

Very early in my life, it was too late. "Thanks, Joel," Not yet a corpse and still I rot like all of my ambitions turn to sludge at my tired feet.

He looks around, exhaling a deep breath, trying to scope out anything else he has to do in the kitchen. "You outta get geared up, I'm gonna wake up Ellie then me and you can get to work."

I nod in agreement even though I'm not sure what he means by 'gear up' so I figure that's just him saying to put on a hoodie and some rain boots. I stand awkwardly by the door, waiting for Joel. Absentmindedly I rock back and forth on my heels hands clasped together. I'm twenty years old but I feel like I'm twelve again, trying to find a place for myself in someone else's life.

I thought of the last time I was in this house. I was twelve, unaware of the future that awaited me, I had buried a time capsule with Ellie and her cousins somewhere on this property. Writing to my future self, talking about all of the things I should be. If only she saw the brain-rotten zombie that was her destiny.

My parents had told everyone back home I was backpacking across Australia and taking a break from academics to see the world. In the eyes of those who knew me well and were more than aware of what happened, it was a shame to them that I had wasted a sharp brain and a pretty face. It takes a whole lot of strength the endure myself.

It doesn't take long for Joel to walk back down the creaky stairs, Ellie trailing behind him, sleep in her eyes. She's in boxers and one of Joel's old t-shirts, hair still messy and unbrushed. Ellie yawns and gives me a little wave- it wasn't really a wave, just her raising a hand in my direction as an acknowledgment.

We hadn't spoken much since I got here, I had met her in the past but we didn't know each other. A lot can change in eight years. She wasn't unfriendly toward me, we indulged in small talk and laughed at each other's jokes but each conversation was so shallow I wanted to lay face down and drown in them.

Ellie goes straight for the fridge, unlike her dad, she pours milk into a sickly sweet cereal which seems cavity-inducing. She was back from college for the summer, taking advantage of her father's love and food. Joel walked over to where I was standing at the door, slipping into his mucking boots. "While you're both here," He says before looking at me "How much do you know about boats?"

I furrow my eyebrows "A good bit I guess?" I answer, figuring he was just trying to rekindle a spark between Ellie and me that had been put out eight years ago by rain, ocean spray, and vodka.

"Y'know, Els," He gestures towards me "This one used to work at her parent's marina, they tell me she's done a couple of repairs and I bet she could give you some pointers on how to fix up that boat." I'm confused by his words, this is the first I've heard about a boat. Joel can see the uncertainty on my face "Her uncle gave her a piece of shit boat last summer before she went back to school, over the year I guess some teenagers thought it was a good hideout and trashed it even more."

"Seriously?" Her head pokes up "It would be great if you could come down with me later, she just needs a little love," Ellie spoons some cereal into her mouth. I had always thought it weird how people spoke about their boats like they were women, I even caught myself doing it on occasion. "Only if you want to, of course."

"Sure," I agree, no idea how much repair this boat was in need of "I've got nothing better to do."

I could tell Joel counted this as a win. I knew he had been commuting with my parents and how desperately they wanted me to keep myself occupied for the summer. "Well, we've got some work to do, kiddo."

After a solid five hours of following Joel around like a duckling and re-learning all the names of the animals, I was walking with Ellie toward her pickup truck. "Wanna drive?" She asks as we walk to the long beaten driveway

"Oh, I can't." The coolness of the morning has ebbed away into a borderline unbearable heat, I wasn't sure how Ellie was absolutely unfazed in her Jeans, T-shirt, and trucker hat.

"You never got your licence?"

"No, it got taken away."

She cracks a grin "Jeez, what did you do? Hit a pedestrian?" Ellie teases.

"Something like that," Truthfully, my licence got revoked after I got a DUI and swerved my car off the highway, I was too high to realize the danger I was in and laughed the entire time warm blood pooled from a gash in my head that had to be stapled shut. Luckily my parents can throw money at anything and the problem will go away.

She hops in the truck, there are little bits and pieces of it that show how it's lived in. A rubber duck with sunglasses sits on the dashboard and I'm partially surprised it hasn't melted in the sweltering heat.

As beautiful and scenic as the drive down to the docks is, it's also extremely awkward, only on my end, Ellie seems completely unfazed. Travelling down the dirt roads until we finally hit the pavement.

The salty breeze of Andromeda Cove carries conversations of clubbing and tanning, mingling with the sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and sea salt. Colourful beach umbrellas dot the shoreline. Seagulls glide effortlessly overhead, their calls blending seamlessly with the distant laughter of beachgoers. Quaint shops and cafes line the bustling boardwalk, offering an array of surfboards, souvenirs, and freshly caught seafood delicacies.

The Cove was immune to those gross and bland modern buildings that looked like something I would've made in Minecraft as a kid. Everything down here was local and kept its charm even after all these years. "Do you ever miss it here?"

"I don't remember much of it to be honest."

"Really?" She asks, taking a turn down to the docks "It doesn't seem like it was that long ago."

"Yeah, my memory just isn't very good." My lungs are burnt and my brain is fried. You could tell me that I was in cheerleading for five years of my life and I would probably believe you.

"Alright."

I hadn't remembered her being this quiet but then again I don't remember much, I should probably write down everything I can before Alzheimer's sets in. There are lapses in my mind where memories should live, I recall my life through glimpses.

Ellie takes her keys out of the ignition and hops out of the truck, leading me down the docks. I keep guessing in my head which boat belongs to her and then the second I spot it, I know and how I dread. It's a sailboat or what's left of one, sharpie graffiti scribbled all around it. The word 'wanderlust' had once been titled along the side though the first half was scratched out by what I assume were those teenagers Joel mentioned so it just said 'lust'.

Ellie had no problem climbing aboard, I on the other hand had doubts that it could support the weight of two people, let alone itself. There were chips of white paint scraped off, Ellie motioned for me to get on deck "How long has this been abandoned?"

She waves me off "There's freedom that comes with abandonment."

I raise an eyebrow "Sinking in a boat that's docked is a very lame way to die."

"Nah," She says "We can haunt the marina."

She holds out her hand for me to take it and with hesitation, I do. Stepping over the gap between the dock and the boat, I haul myself over the rails. Even in the dark, I could make that climb, it was almost like muscle memory from working at my parents marina summer after summer. "She's a beauty, yeah? In her own special kind of way," Ellie pats the side of the companionway. "I actually made some progress on it last summer, if you can believe me."

"I don't know if I can," I look around, following her as we duck into the saloon.

She reaches for a notebook with a pink sharpie clipped onto it on the table of the saloon and turns to face me "Whoever was here must've been a real wordsmith, what I can't figure out is how the words got out of the notebook and onto my walls."

I crawl onto the cushioned V-berth to get a better look at all of the writing on the walls. Most of it had been poetry, not Edgar Allen Poe but the kind that only an angsty teenage girl on the verge of a mental break could've written.

The Statue of Juliette:

May I ask what you have done to women?

That your hands have only learned to harm one

Hand after filthy hand

Is dragged

Groped

Caressed

Prodded

Over my rusted skin

The things I have seen

The things I have endured

No water can clean me

No blanket can warm me

Take a hammer to my bronze flesh

And I will thank you for your kindness

As my body crumbles and clatters against cobblestone

I am eternally grateful

For this is the gentlest act I have ever faced

"I know," Ellie says, and I look back to meet her sharp gaze "A real Sylvia Plath.”

"Is this your candle?" I reach for it on the ground, it's halfway through its life. A vanilla bean bath and bodyworks candle.

She takes it from my hand and gives it a sniff "I was wondering why it smelled so good in here, I just thought that was you." She places the candle back onto the saloon table "So, Neptune's daughter, where should we start?"

I snatch the notebook from the table and flip it open to a page clean of any writing. It takes a little less than fifteen minutes to seek out all of the trouble spots. Ellie followed behind me and nodded to everything that I was saying.

The boat isn't in nearly as bad of condition as I expected. I suspected that the teenagers who occupied it while Ellie was away at college had all been girls, they took relatively good care of the boat aside from the graffiti, allegedly most of the damage had been there when Ellie got it from Tommy a year ago.

We now sat next to each other in the booth around the saloon table, the ocean rocked the boat beneath us ever so gently, the same way a mother would rock her child's cradle. I missed the sea when I was in college, on a bender I had driven three hours just to be back with it, it seemed the only safe place to let go and be reborn. I liked the sharpness of the air, the vastness of the horizon and the mystery beneath it. I thought I would rise from the seafoam a new woman the same way Aphrodite did but no, I threw up on the sandy shores and called my parents to make it go away.

I give the notebook over to Ellie, a new entry written in bright pink Sharpie amongst the poetry and anecdotes.

Wanderlust's issues:

Mainsail and jib seem sketchy; Unfold the hoist for a full assessment

Wiring issues are out of my hands but a probable concern-should probably call in an expert

Nav instruments are cracked

Leaks on starboard window, probs cracked moulding

Interior woodwork is original, mainly solid despite a bit of mildew

Graffiti and chipped paint, graffiti likely cleanable (May need a new coat of paint)

Possible rigging issues

Underside? That's a question for the experts

Final Verdict: Wanderlust is a seaworthy vessel in need of some love

Ellie lets out a low whistle "God, I love a girl who knows the difference between a mainsail and a jib." She cracks a mischievous grin.

"You're teetering very close between sexy and crass," I tease her in return.

She seems a little taken aback by my comment, like she hadn't anticipated a response but ignores it nonetheless "What would it take to make you my first mate?"

"I'm sorry?"

"For someone with a bad memory, you seem to know your boats, Joel said that you used to work on charters. You gotta know more about sailing than me. It'll be a fun summer project, get you out of the house a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows as I look at her "You want me to work on the boat with you?"

Ellie nodded. She didn't rush to fill the silence that stretched between us, she didn't bother to sweeten the deal or hunt for some reason I would like working with her. She just let it stand. I looked her in the eyes, trying to figure her out. She goes from being almost non-verbal with me and now she asks me to spend the summer on a boat with her. I wondered if she knew what she was doing at all and if I would be carrying her through this.

I had a feeling that Ellie would become my next bad habit. It's easy to get addicted when everything interests you and nothing satisfies you. "I'm in."

"You won't regret this," Ellie almost jumps up, I swear I could've seen her making calculations in her head "So, I'm thinking we get rid of all this junk and get a good look at it bare bones, make a list of supplies and give her the spa day shes in desperate need of."

On my second day as first mate, I had been scrubbing away inside of the saloon while Ellie did some work on the exterior, my Scrub Daddy was being put to work. By the time I even made a dent in all of the Sharpie poetry, it was nearly falling apart and begging to be killed.

When I emerged from the companionway to replace my filthy bucket of water I spotted Ellie chatting up a girl on a dock. She had long glossy black hair that cascaded down her back in strategic ringlets. "So you're gonna sail on this thing?"

"Rebuilding her first," Ellie tells her, leaning against the railing. The girl she's speaking to looks like she's freezing, denim shorts cropped high and a white tank top.

"Do you need help?" She smiles and even I'm seduced by it. She has tanned skin that she's clearly been working on and sunglasses pushing back the silky hair from her forehead. "I've been on boats, lots of times," Her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see goosebumps all over her legs from the chill brought to us by the gray sky above and the frigid air.

"That so?" Ellie asks, rising to her full height. A wrench in hand, it looks like the beginning of a really bad movie, not a family-friendly one. She saw me then, standing behind her. I watched her facade drop. Her smile changed as I approached, turning from flirt to friend in two seconds.

"Oh, hey," The black-haired girl regards me like I'm some kind of threat. "So do you need help or what?"

Ellie looks at me and then back to her "Thanks for the offer but we're all set."

"Do you maybe wanna grab lunch or something?" She completely ignores me.

Ellie shakes her head "We've got lots of work to do, but-" She takes a deliberate pause and I almost cringe "I'll probably be at the shipwreck later. Stop by if you're around."

"See ya'," She grins and takes the sunglasses off the top of her head, placing them on the nose bridge before walking back down the dock.

"Wow," I dump my bucket of water over the rail of the boat "Looks like super difficult work out here, you are so brave." Sarcasm drips from my tone "Without you, who will flirt with all of the hot girls at the marina?"

"No need to be jealous," She says "I'm spending every waking minute with you after all."

I gave her the evil eye but I truly wasn't jealous. I didn't chase the thrill of a fling or late nights with girls whom I would forget by morning. I had dropped that by college and replaced it with ketamine and opioids, I abused liquor like I was its two-faced love. Now the only thing I chased was calmness.

I wasn't jealous, just briefly reminiscing over how carefree I used to be.

The tide was rolling and the sky above us was gray and angry as if something was raging within it. "Shit," I mutter, waves shifting from a distant hiss to a closer hush. The air hung heavy, I hadn't even noticed the change in weather from what seemed like the century I spent scrubbing away in the saloon.

Ellie must've noticed what I was. "So, I'm thinking we should go?"

"You think?" I retort.

Moments later we're packed and rushing down the dock to find her truck. It doesn't take long for rain to begin to splatter on the ground beneath us, it isn't light and gentle, it's harsh. It sounds like pebbles being tossed onto a sheet of glass.

By the time we reach the truck, I'm soaked, hair sticking to my forehead and neck "You didn't want to poke your head into the saloon and say 'Hey, it's looking like there's gonna be a storm'?"

"I was a little preoccupied," Ellie isn't much better off than I am, she takes off the flannel she had on top of her tank top and tosses it into the backseat, her tattoo out on full display. The rain is so heavy that everything on the outside of her truck looks like a blur.

"Can you even drive in this?"

"No, can you?"

"No, I told you I have a DUI," The second the words leave my mouth I regret the slip-up. My eyes go wide and a hand slaps over my mouth, I'm acting like I just told her I was the one who took out JFK.

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well," I look forward, ignoring her piercing gaze, "I thought I did."

If not for the rain outside that pounded against the glass as if it wanted to be let in, we would've sat in complete silence while we drowned beneath all of the words going unsaid. My mind begins to wonder, first I think of the black-haired girl at the docks; I hope she didn't get stuck outside in the rain, especially with her lack of clothing. Then I think about what Ellie's thinking, did she know already? Had Joel told her? I'm humiliated all over again like I'd been when the paramedics dragged my half-naked body out of a bathtub.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks. I don't say anything and she takes this as a hint "We don't have to talk about it."

I'm beginning to grow comfortable with the silence. I almost preferred it to the back-and-forth banter Joel and Ellie constantly had, which was more so father and daughter teasing each other.

Joel had probably known more about me than I did, my parents liked to keep him filled in after all. They just loved to keep tabs on me, if it was legal I'm sure they would put cameras behind my retinas and watch my every move. Eight months ago when I was in rehab, that was the most peace I've ever felt. As much as my parents wanted me clean, they held resentment since I ruined my life and was destroying theirs by association. Joel didn't seem like the type to gossip to his daughter but it nagged at me regardless. "Did Joel tell you anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just-like," I search through my brain to find the words "Like what I've been up to?"

She shrugged "He just said you are on a deferral and need a break from the city."

"Okay," I say, my voice so quiet it was almost smothered by the obnoxious rain.

"Are you hungry?"

We had thrown on two jackets Ellie had in the back seat of the cars. She offered me Joel's black raincoat while she humbly took the bright yellow rain poncho. It took everything in me not to laugh at her, she looked like Georgie.

Ellie slung one arm around me, we were both hunched over as we ran as fast as we could. She was shouting stuff at me but I couldn't hear her through the rain, I just nodded in agreement and hoped she hadn't said something awful.

She tugged me left, the deluge chasing us into Salty's for cover. It was nearly dead in there, two other tables, one was an elderly couple and the other was a group of girls, laughing like hyenas while one of them showed the others a picture on her phone.

Ellie wasted no time in taking off her poncho and I didn't blame her, no one wanted to be seen in that. The second we settled into a booth by the huge glass window which took up the entire storefront, an over-eager waiter came up. He was tall, had dark hair and had handsome features, he must've been bored with how slow it was in here. "Hey, Jesse," Ellie said "Can I have water and a big-buck burger?"

He nodded and swerved his body to look at me, "Alright and for you-" He looked up from his notepad and paused for a moment before a huge smile cracked on his face "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Hi," I smiled, my mouth hanging openly awkwardly as I tried to recall him.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, his hand dropping to his side "Jesse," He reminded "We used to go to school together."

I had no idea who he was "Oh my god, yes!" I say "I remember."

His smile grows "God, you look so different."

"You too," I gesture at him "You're way more-" My mind falls flat "Grown."

He nods along to my words "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Wanting this conversation as soon as possible I nod despite not even opening the menu “Yeah, I'll just get the, uh, big-buck and a club soda.” I repeated Ellie's order.

He jots it down onto his notepad "It'll be right up."

"Ellie, I don't know who that is," I say when I see him retreat to the server station to fill in the order. The entire restaurant is nautical-themed, the walls painted black, and there were nets with faux fish covering every square inch of the ceiling.

"Wow, I had no idea," She says, sarcastically "Damn, your memory really is fucked."

Trust me, I know or at least I think I do. I disregard her comment "Water? Don't you wanna get rootbeer or something? Joel said you drink so much soda that your blood is made of corn syrup."

She grins "Gotta keep up the tough guy act."

Across the restaurant one of the girls waves to Ellie, this one has curly brown hair and a sundress "Hi, Ellie!"

Her eyebrows furrow "Hey there-um...you," Ellie said "Good to see you again."

The girl smiles slyly at Ellie before turning back to her friends. "Looks like I'm not the only one forgetting people, what's your excuse?"

"There's a lot of girls in the world, I can't remember all of their names."

"You must've gone through every girl in the cove, power to ya'," I say "No idea you had such a reputation."

"You don't know a lot about me."

I shrug "You know even less about me."

"I bet I could guess."

"Be my guest."

She leans back like she's carefully considering her next words, choosing them very wisely before she finally settles "You picked a major like communications and got bored quickly, decided you needed to do some soul searching. Probably read 'Eat, Prey, Love,' then went on a backpacking trip, expenses paid by your parents. Alternatively, you lived in a van and pretended to be a broke hippie."

I shook my head "Very cliche and you were only right about one thing."

"What?"

"I got bored quickly," The rain outside was failing to cease. Across from me, it looked like Ellie was calculating my every move. Her auburn hair was still wet, and from her hairline, a droplet of water dribbled down onto her button nose to rest on her cupid bow.

"Can I have a hint then?"

"No."

I see a realisation hit her "You partied with frat guys?"

I shook my head "I've always been too cool for them." I wasn't too cool for them, I was too fucked up to even know they were throwing a party until someone verbally informed me, by that point all I've ever done at a frat party was break in through a window and steal a keg like the disgusting fiend I was. It was nothing to be proud of, my friends thought it was hilarious and posted it on their Snapchat stories, egging me on and feeding into this sickening behaviour. What wasn't funny was how I got caught and winded up with a busted lip and broken rib. With pupils the size of my iris, I couldn't feel the pain I was in.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I can't, I lose my mysterious allure."

The bell above the door chimes signalling the arrival of another customer and said customer makes a b-line for our table. She takes a seat next to Ellie "Jesse texted me that you were here.”

"Dina, were you at work?" Ellie furrows her eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's buying souvenirs right now and Jesse told me you finally came back," She whips her head to look over at me.

I genuinely remembered her, unlike Jesse. She had buried the time capsule with Ellie, her family and I. I also recalled how her older sister used to give us hand-me-down clothes. "Dina, hi."

She has freckles scattered across her face the same way that Ellie does. Her smile was so comforting, I forgot that I was soaked to my bones and shivering. "Well we should all do something together tonight," Dina grins "You're doing Ellie a huge favour by helping her fix that rig, she better give you some good head for it."

I almost choke on my saliva while Ellie just groans with disappointment like she had anticipated Dina saying something along those lines "D, you can't say that stuff around every girl I'm with, this is essentially my sister for the summer."

Dina raises her hands in defence "Sorry, my bad, I was unaware since you failed to mention that you have my old friend living with you." Ellie looks like she's going to say something but Dina speaks up again before she has the chance to "Let me give you my number."

Wordlessly, I hand my phone over to Dina who fills out her contact information and then gives my phone right back to me. I study Dina's face and her mannerisms, hoping that something might bring me back to my childhood which has been wiped away by every upper and downer you could put a name to. Something about her seemed familiar, maybe we had been closer friends than I thought.

I nod along to whatever she and Ellie are saying, chiming in random bits of dialogue but my mind is stuck on the two of them side by side. They're what I could've been if my family never moved us away and I hadn't turned my brain into sludge.

The life I could've had.

Ellie smoked from what I knew, maybe Dina or Jesse were into something a little more hardcore. Hardcore? If hardcore qualifies as drowning in a concoction of cough syrup, Vicodin, codeine, and Gatorade to balance out the flavour of self-destruction. The bottles I swallowed to sleep, I showed up to almost every lecture high. Here I was handed what was nearly a good life and I tossed it away for something with a sweeter taste than a stable job and proper education.

The horrors I've committed. No good deed will ever outdo the bad that I have unleashed upon this godforsaken earth. From my clouded brain, paralyzing thoughts come to life to curse myself, the nightmare no mother would wish for her child to endure.

Relapse after relapse, I would fall sick with the thought of how many times I had to relapse until I was finally clean and that bitter flavour washed from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Dina asks with a smile and furrowed brows "We kind of lost you there."

It's one in the morning and I want to drink wine then slip beneath the rapid waters that will gladly pull me under and claim me as theirs.

Instead, I opt for a class of water. As Dina had said earlier, she wanted to get a bunch of friends together but the second we got home, I showered and locked myself away. Echoes of laughter and chatter drifted through my window.

I slip down the steps that lead to the kitchen. Outside the rain has finally dissipated and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, along with a handful of people I don't know crowd around a bonfire. The kitchen is illuminated only by moonlight, the moon hung over me as I poured myself water from the tap, a dead thing over a dying thing.

I have seafoam in my veins and centuries-passed sunshine that induces my craving for some pills that will put me to sleep. Three months completely clean and yet that doesn't end the yearning for the drugs that comforted me more than any human ever had.

The door cracks open and in comes Ellie, she's laughing and from the uncontrollable giggles, drowsy gaze, and slightly disoriented walking I can tell that she's been smoking. "Hey," She smiles at me, reaching passed me to grab a mug with Garfield on the front and fill it with water but she doesn't take a sip, she just sits it down on the counter behind us and stares at me.

Our faces only inches apart, I contemplate her next move. This close I can smell the marijuana on her and I almost want to scuttle upstairs and light a candle. Ellie hugs me, wrapping her arms around my midriff and letting her head find its resting place in the crook of my neck "Are you okay?"

"Mhm" She hums "I'm just glad you're here, whatever the circumstances are, I'm happy that you're helping me with the boat," I'm carrying almost her full way, and she's slouched against me "I love you man, I know you don't remember a lot from when we were kids but we had a lot of fun together."

"Thanks, Ellie," I give her a little pat on the back "That's really nice of you."

She peels herself away from me, using the counter to lean against instead. She looks me up and down, having an intense staring contest with my pyjamas "Do you wanna come out and smoke with everyone?" She's shed her tank top and thrown over a gray hoodie to shroud her from the oncoming cold.

I shake my head, no "I don't mess with that stuff."

"That's smart," She says "Have fun in your room, stowaway, I'll see you tomorrow to work on our boat," With that Ellie leaves without grabbing the Garfield mug she came in here for.

A/N: Hey, y’all. I’m aware I have a million open docs, I assure you they are all getting some love but I needed to come back to my roots and write some angst. These are some issues I have struggled with and I feel that it’s important to bring attention to it so it’s not taboo.

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atlasscrumpit · 1 year ago

Text

Yandere Miguel O'Hara

(MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING, ABUSE)

With a piece of fabric wrapped tightly around your mouth and your hands tied together, Miguel had you thrown over his shoulder.

His claws digging into your back as you screamed and cried, trying to break free. But, the more you fought the more his claws tore into your skin.

You sobbed as Miguel kept quiet, he made it back to his apartment and threw you onto the floor, making you cry in pain.

"You're a clever little girl, I'll give you that. I really didn't think you could escape here after all the measures I went to to keep you here." He said as you looked up at him with tears streaming down your face.

He knelt down and gripped your chin roughly.

"You tried to escape the only person who cares about you, Y/N. Is that how stupid you are? Do you really think anyone else wants this? Wants you?" He asked in a condescending tone as you continued to cry.

"You're a fucking mess, darling. Trying to kill yourself, having breakdowns or panic attacks, using food as a coping mechanism... You think anyone wants that? That's why you're so lucky to have me. Yet, you run away. Like a stupid little bitch." He growled before slapping you hard across the face. You yelped under the gag around your mouth and cried even more.

He untied your hands and the gag around your mouth.

"Stop... Please." You whispered as Miguel chuckled softly.

"Babydoll, I haven't even started and you're ready begging?" He taunted as you cried and looked at him.

"This isn't love, nothing about this is love." You whispered making him chuckle again.

"Who said anything about love? This is just possession, sweetheart. I own you, you're mine and you obey me and this is what happens when you don't listen." He replied before he gripped your chin again.

"God, you're so pathetic. Now, I'm a little angry after everything you've put me through. So, I'm going to punish you and let myself release this tension you caused. And if you're a good girl and don't complain I'll give you some dinner after but if you try to go against me you'll be starved, understood?"He said, his tone was so calming and gentle compared to his words.

"I understand."

You laid on the ground with blood on your face as you tried your best to stay awake.

Miguel looked down at you and wiped your blood from his hands.

"Get your breath back, baby. I'm going to get the first aid and I'll stitch you up." He said as your shakily breathed in and out and watched him leave from where your head was rested on the floor.

You began to cry again as you entire body ached from Miguel's punishment.

He returned a few minutes later and helped you sit on the bed as he began to bring out first aid supplies.

"Those scratches will need stitches, baby." He said as you nodded a little.

He began to stitch up the wounds from his claws in your arms as you cried through the pain.

"Shh, baby. I'm almost done. You're such a good girl, aren't you?" He cooed to you like you were a dog.

"I'm tired." You whispered after a while before Miguel bandaged up your wounds.

"Oh, I know my sweet girl. After this I'm going to feed you then get you into bed, how does that sound?" He asked as you kept your eyes away from him.

He always did this after he hurt you, acted like you were the most precious person in the world.

"I don't like this..." You whispered as he looks at you.

"What do you mean, sweetie? Are the bandages too itchy?" He asked calmly as you looked at him and shook your head.

"No... I don't like you hurting me." You whispered tears still in your eyes as he sighed.

"Baby, we've been over this. If you were good and just listened I wouldn't have to do this. I know you don't understand any of it but it's for your own good. Can you please just trust me with this, baby? You just need to be a good girl for me and you won't get hurt, okay?" He asked as you snuffled and nodded.

"Yes... I'll be good." You replied making him smile and rub your leg.

"Good girl, you're so perfect. You just forget sometimes and that's okay, baby. I just have to show you how to be better, don't I?" He said as you kept your eyes on him and nodded.

"Can we have dinner now?" You asked as he leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

"Of course, my sweet girl. Come on."

#Miguel #Miguel o'hara x reader #Yandere #Miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o'hara

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glitterguts13 · 3 months ago

Note

Actually, got bored and decided to write something myself with the Neuvillette request I sent a bit ago ^^ Hope that's okay!

Enjoy

« Every muscle in his body was taut as a bowstring, trembling with the effort of holding back. His legs quivered, wings twitched. Claws scrabbled uselessly at the polished floor as he tried to ground himself, to find some anchor amidst the maelstrom of sensation.

"I... I can't... can't take it..." he whimpered, voice thin and thready. "Too... too BIG! Splitting... splitting me OPEN!"

Neuvillette's cocks jerked and pulsed in his grip, spurting weakly. Ropes of pearlescent pre splattered his own chest, mingling with the fluids already painting his skin. He looked utterly debauched - and utterly desperate.

"P-please... Someone help me..." the dragon lord begged, gazing up with teary, unfocused eyes. "I need... I need it OUT! Need to... to pull it out... Please, anyone!"

Neuvillette bore down with a sobbing cry, muscles straining, talons digging deep furrows in the floor. "TAKE IT OUT! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUCK!"

Neuvillette let out a garbled scream, the sound half pained, half ecstatic. His entire body convulsed, back arching, wings flaring out wide as he strained with every ounce of his strength.

"NNNGGGHHHH!!" The egg inched out, a pause, then slid back inside with a humiliating squelch. The dragon lord howled in frustration, clawing at the floor, talons gouging deep rents in the wood.

"NO! NOOOO! FUCKING... FUCKING GET OUT!!" He sobbed, body shaking with the force of his contractions. "I CAN'T... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!"

His cocks pulsed wildly, smearing streaks of fluid across his abs with each broken breath. Cum spurted from the tips in ragged bursts, the scent thick and musky in the air.

With a shuddering gasp, he felt the press of his fingers against his tortured slit. Breathing shallow, he tried once more to bear down, to push the massive egg forward.

"Hnngggh... p-pushing... trying..." Neuvillette grunted, toes curling, thighs quivering. "Feels... feels WRONG... stuck... STUCK INSIDE ME!"

He was dimly aware of his ravaged hole gaping, fluttering wildly around the unmovable obstruction. The egg pulsed in time with his racing heart, seeming to grow larger with each passing second. It was like his body was being torn in half, ripped apart by the insistent pressure, and he couldn't take it anymore.

"P-please... Someone..." the dragon lord whispered, voice breaking on a sob. "I... I'm f-failing... can't... CAN'T DO IT..."»

THIS IS AMAZING?? OH MY GOD?? THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS DELICIOUS FOOD!!

#other #mpreg labor #mpreg birth

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lustfilledsinner · 4 months ago

Text

I let out a small laugh as I slam you to the floor, pinning you down as you try hitting and clawing at me. “No no you're not going anywhere, you're staying right here.” You feel me rip open your top, exposing your chest as tears start forming in your eyes as you feel the rest of your clothes be torn off, fully exposing you. “You're mine, all fucking mine. Did you think breaking up with me would stop me from coming to your house? That it would stop me from using you like I always do?” You claw at my shirt and at my face as you try fighting to break free, only to scream out in pain and some sick pleasure as I force myself into you, your voice getting caught in your throat bringing you to a silence. “Hahaha you're fucking delusional, you’re never going to get away from me. Ugh~ fuck, you feel so damn good. How could I ever give up this huh?” I ask as I grab you by your hair causing you to wince in pain as your eyes are mixed with a look of fear, hatred, what's even more surprising, lust. You hate that deep down this attack is driving you to a point where you hope it continues. “I'm going to use you over and over again till you pass the fuck out and even then keep on using you till I'm content. Go ahead cry all you want, you're the one that decided to live somewhere far away from neighbors so scream, cry, beg all you want. Noone's going to fucking come save you. The only person that will save you is me but don't worry my little toy, I'll take such good care of you.”

#bd/sm community #bd/sm kink #nsft concept #ns/fw blog #ns/fw post #nsft #LustfilledPosts #rough cnc #cnc free use #cnc k!nk #obsessive yandere #obsessive love #ns/fw concept #kinktober

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bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year ago

Text

The One that Got Away

Pairing- Wooyoung x Named Reader

Word count- 7.7k

Includes- Angst, fluff, fingering, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, sex from behind, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Wooyoung Masterlist

J POV

Parking my car, I get out, my heart pounding in my chest

I decided I'm going to tell him today

After the photo shoot

Tell my best friend that I love him and want to be with him

Oh my god, I feel like I'm gonna puke

I breathe in trying to relax

My coworker and close friend Binna, one of ATEEZ's makeup artists, knows about my feelings for him

How I've loved him since we were teenagers and have always been too terrified to say anything

She talked with me about it a few times over the last few months, gave me advice

She told me to just suck it up and tell him or I'll regret it

I thought about it last night and I decided today is the day

The worst he can say is he doesn't feel the same

Which is world ending but she's right, I'll regret not telling him

I texted her last night, telling her I'm gonna tell him today and she encouraged me and wished me good luck

I'm gonna need it

Entering the building where the set is, I make my way to the dressing room, my legs wobbly, my stomach in knots and my hands shaking

Taking a breath, I enter the dressing room and look for him

My heart crashes to the floor when I find him

Wooyoung, my best friend, the guy I've loved for years, the one I was going to confess to today is kissing another girl

And not just any girl

Binna

He's kissing Binna

Hurt and betrayal hit me at once and it takes everything to control the tears that want to burst out

Breathe, just breathe, breathe

How did this fucking happen?

Why did this happen?

I had no idea that Binna felt that way for Wooyoung

Why didn't she say something?

Why did she encourage me to tell him my feelings?

Why did she wait until I was going to tell him to make a move on him?

Just why?

And I clearly got my answer from him

He never saw me that way, ever

I'm calm on the outside but inside I'm hyperventilating

Walk, I scream at myself

Don't just stand here like an idiot

I move my feet towards the table where the hair products are as I'm one of ATEEZ's hair stylists

I have to pass by them

I can't handle this

Fuck

As I get closer, Wooyoung and Binna break apart, a small smile on his face that utterly breaks my heart

His eyes move from her to me, "Hey Jo"

Binna turns around, smiling smugly at me and I just want to fucking murder her, "Hi Jo"

"Hi", I managed to say without my voice shaking, "What's uh...what's going on?"

"Uh well, Binna-"

"Wooyoungie is my boyfriend", Binna smirks

"Oh?", I say, rage filling me, "I uh didn't know you liked him like that. Or uh that you liked her like that"

"Oh well, I told Woo that I had liked him for awhile and he likes me too, now we're together. Isn't that great?", Binna gushes

Yeah fucking great

God, I want to claw her eyes out

"Yeah. Great", I repeat, trying to sound happy, "Congratulations"

"Thanks", she says, turning back to him

I can't look at him so I avert my eyes and just keep walking

I feel like I'm gonna break down but I can't

I won't

Not in front of her

I won't let her see me cry

And for him, I'll put on a happy front

As long as he's happy, I can pretend I'm ok

I can do this

I can

--------------------------------

18 months later

"So what are we doing with your hair?", I ask Wooyoung

He asked me to cut and dye his hair today, so he came over to my apartment

"Undercut", he says

"Again?", I tease

He scowls, "Is that a problem?"

"No Woo. I just think it's funny that there's only two hairstyles you go for. Long that can fit in a ponytail or a short undercut

"What else is there?", he grumps

"Buzz cut?"

"Are you insane?"

I giggle, continuing, "Mullet?"

"Hongjoong's territory"

"Short bob?"

"That's a girl style!"

"Layers?"

"Now you're fucking with me"

I nod

I so am

"Cut it out", he rolls his eyes

"Ok ok. But seriously how about this- viking style"

"What the hell is that?"

"It's where your hair on the top is long with an undercut"

"That's what I'm asking for!"

I shake my head, "No the point is that the hair on top is long enough to put into a ponytail or braids. Kinda like Hongjoong's hair in the "fireworks" photoshoot. This way you can still do a ponytail and have an undercut"

He looks thoughtful for a minute, then he nods

"Yeah ok, we can try it", he agrees, "And if it looks stupid or Binna hates it you can just cut it normally"

I bristle at the mention of Binna but I just nod

"And color?", I ask, shoving my hate for that cunt down

He's got a black blonde combo going on right now

"Black"

"Boring", I sing

"Just do it", he grits out, "Please"

"Fine. We'll dye it first"

I get out everything I need and mix all the liquids to get a black dye

Then I start

Squeeze a line of dye, then rub it into the strands down to the ends

I work in sections, saturating his hair in the black dye

I've dyed his and the other ATEEZ members hair a million times so it's like second nature for me

I can do it quickly

"Now you need to marinate", I joke, finishing

"Like chicken?"

I giggle, "Yeah"

I go around him, facing him and use a wet paper towel with some soap on it and wipe the tiny black spots on his forehead and temple away, getting them just before it sets

Leaning over, I scrub a little harder on a darker spot on his right temple

He has a photo shoot tomorrow and he can't have black dye staining his face

When I finish I move my gaze to him, startled to see his brown eyes already on me

They stare deep into mine and I'm mesmerized by them

I don't realize I've moved closer until I can feel his breath on my lips

All I have to do is move forward slightly and I'll be kissing him

'Too close!', my brain screams

He hasn't moved away and what the fuck is that about but I need to if he's not

I pull my head back, straightening up

It's like that breaks the spell because he blinks, moving his head back too although I'm nowhere near him now

"So how's the recording going?", I ask to make conversation, knowing that ATEEZ is recording for their new album and comeback

"It's going good", he answers, "I'm getting a few more lines. Letting me hit a few of my higher ranges"

"That's good Woo! Congrats", I smile, "You need to sing more, you have such a beautiful voice"

"Yeah?", he asks, shyly

I blush myself as I nod

"Thanks"

"Of course", I tell him

"And is my dancing sexy?", he says wiggling his eyebrows

I breathe out in relief

He's fucking around now to break the seriousness of the conversation

I snort, "Sure"

"Oh c'mon! All girls find the way I dance hot. And the outfits I'm put in...with my muscles all out. Plus all the tongue action. You know I can't keep my tongue in my mouth during a performance"

He needs to stop right now

I'm getting turned on and wet and it's so not appropriate

"You know that doesn't affect me Jung"

He seriously doesn't need to know how much it does affect me and I've done an excellent job of making him believe he doesn't affect me in that way

"Yeah, I know", he says in a teasing tone, "That's just because you're so in love with Hyun"

I snort, "Yeah ok"

His eyebrow raises, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Paradise? You're kidding right?"

His eyes light up with interest as he leans forward in his chair

"So am I right? Trouble?"

God, he is such a gossip

"No, not trouble", I shrug, "Just....not feeling it"

"Again?", he asks, "That's like what? The third guy this year that you dated for a few months and aren't feeling?"

Yeah it's the third

But what am I supposed to do?

I want Wooyoung but I can't have him

So I try to date to get over him

But it never works

"I dunno what you want me to say Woo. Not everyone can find the love of their life right away like you did"

Although that's not exactly true

I did find the love of my life, I just can't be with him

"I wouldn't say the love of my life", he says, "I.....have feelings...for Binna but I don't know if she's the love of my life"

Huh, that's new, what with all the gushing he does about her

Which hurts but whatever

"Are you still with Hyun?", he asks

"For now yeah. I'm thinking about breaking it off though. Like maybe tonight or tomorrow"

"You wouldn't want to keep trying with him?", he asks

For what?

It's a lost cause

I don't miss Hyun when he's gone, I don't really call or text him when he's not here, when he is here it's boring and the only plus is that I get sex

Really good sex but I can't stay with him for that

"No", I shake my head, "He's not the one...um there's really nothing we have in common and I'm just not into him"

Please don't ask, I pray, please don't ask

"He's not the what?", Wooyoung asks

Fuck

I didn't think about what I was saying and I was going to tell him that Hyun was not who I wanted but I realized mid sentence what a can of worms that would open

I knew he'd notice and I hoped he wouldn't ask about it

But I should know Wooyoung by now

Sometimes he acts like a buffoon but he's incredibly perceptive and smart

"Nothing", I answer, hoping he'd drop it, knowing he won't

"C'mon Jo, he's not the what?", he prods, "You know you can't start saying something like that, suddenly stop and I won't ask about it"

I sigh, looking at the ceiling, giving up

He will harass me until I tell him so I might as well do it now and save myself the aggravation

"He's not the one I want"

Silence

Then, "There's someone you want?", he screeches

I wince, moving my gaze back to him

"Yeah"

"Who? Where is this guy? Why doesn't he want you? Who is it?"

"Please Woo", I answer, pinching my nose bridge, "It's just a guy ok? I guess he's what you'd call the one that got away. Everyone has one of those"

He scoffs, "Him rejecting you is not the one who got away. It's the one who rejected you"

He has no idea how untrue that is

I shake my head, "He didn't reject me Woo. It's my fault he got away"

He raises an eyebrow, "How?"

This is not how I expected today to go

With me explaining to him how I lost him

"Woo, just drop it"

"Joanne!", he barks, "Tell me!"

I groan, "Fine. I was chicken shit ok? I like him..... love him but I took too long to say anything to him. And when I was ready to tell him, he was with someone else"

"What a jerk!"

No he's not

He just didn't know and someone else got to him first

Someone I never expected to betray me like that

"How is he a jerk Woo? He didn't know how I felt for him. I didn't expect him to wait around especially if someone else showed interest and he was interested"

He scowls, "Fine he's not a jerk. Is he still with the girl?"

I nod, "It's my fault Woo. I let him slip away"

Well it's partly my fault

It's also Binna's

That bitch

"I'm sorry Jo", he says sincerely, "That sucks"

Yes it very much does

I shrug, "It's fine. I'm ok"

Big crock of shit but what else can I say

He just nods, an awkward silence falling between us

"So I think your hair is ready", I say, changing the subject, "Let's go wash it"

"Kitchen sink?", he asks

My sink is stainless steel

I nod, "Hell yes. I'm not getting black dye all over my shower tiles"

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah yeah, I know"

He stands up and bends over the kitchen sink, waiting for me to wash his hair out

"Water ok?", I ask, moving my fingers in his hair to wash out the dye

"Yup", he answers

The dye comes out as I wash his hair, making a sea of black against the silver steel

Once most of the dye is out, I lather his hair with shampoo, scrubbing to make sure I get all the dye out

After that is conditioner and he's done

"Keep your head in the sink", I tell him as I go to my table to get a towel for him

"The blood is rushing to my head", he whines, "And my neck hurts"

"Aww poor baby", I mock, throwing the towel over his head, "You can stand up now"

He does, running the towel in his hair

"My neck hurts"

I snort, "Then go get a massage or something. This is what you get for wanting to do your hair here instead of at KQ"

"You're so mean", he whines, plopping back down in the chair

"And you're so whiny", I tease, taking the towel and drying the excess water from his hair

He hurrumphs and it's so cute but I can't let it get to me

I can't think of him as anything other than my best friend

Yeah when he's on stage, I can fangirl but not any other time

I have to maintain the image that he doesn't affect me

Tossing the towel on the table, I grab a comb and start running it through his hair

"Mm feels good", he murmurs

I know it does

He's always liked when someone plays with his hair, but I'm not playing, I'm working

"Don't be weird", I answer, ignoring the feelings that surfaces whenever I'm near him

"I'm not. It feels good ok?", he huffs, "You're always so gentle and I can't help it"

"So you're saying I should pull your hair or something?", I joke as I gather the hair I'm gonna keep long and tie it in a ponytail

"I suggest you not", he says seriously, "I uh...really like that too"

"Oh god, gross!", I snap, pretending I'm grossed out when my body is doing the opposite and getting turned on

He likes hair pulling

I like pulling hair

Hyun doesn't like it so much so I've back off on it, but it's normally one of the things I like

I need to stop thinking about this

And I will not let my mind wander to thoughts of pulling Wooyoung's hair and how he'd sound

Goddamnit

"What?"

"I don't need to know those things about you Woo. Cut it out", I force myself to say

"Sorry", he mutters

I get my buzzer, put it on the setting I need and turn it on

Thankfully the buzzing noise is loud which means no conversation

I start shaving his hair, cutting it short but still leaving some

Once I go all around his head, I undo the ponytail and comb through that hair again, slicking it back

Going in front of him, I inspect the cut to make sure it's good and even

It is

Now time to blow dry it and we're done

Holding the dryer to his head, I run my fingers in his hair, moving the strands around in the heated air to get it to dry faster

As I do this, I look down at him, startled to see his eyes closed, biting his lower lip

He's so beautiful it's stupid

And those beauty marks on his face

I want to press kiss after kiss to the one under his eye, the kiss the one on his lip

Binna probably does that to him

And that thought snaps me out of whatever trance I was in

I move behind him again to finish his hair so I don't have to see his face

"Done", I say after a few minutes, turning the dryer off

I busy myself with cleaning up the mess as he stands up

"I'm gonna look in the mirror", he says, leaving the kitchen and going to the bathroom

I breath in and out as I throw away the bowl I used for the dye, then get the broom to sweep up his hair

"I like it", he announces when he comes back

"Good. At least it's something new and not boring"

He pouts, crossing his arms, "Not nice"

I snort, rolling my eyes

"So uh...do you wanna hang out?", he asks

I do but I can't

This is enough interaction for today

I can only be around him in small doses before it starts to hurt again, before all I can think about is him again

I'm reaching that point and I don't want to go over it

"Oh I can't. Hyun might be coming over", I say, "He asked me to call him after you left to see if we would do something"

"I thought you were gonna break it off with him", he asks his eyebrow raised

"Well yeah but he doesn't know that yet. I'll probably do it tonight if we decide to do something"

He just nods, "Yeah ok. Sure"

"Next time though"

"Yeah next time", he says

There's an awkward silence between us and I don't know how to break it

"So I guess I'm gonna go"

"Yeah ok", I say stupidly

"Thanks for doing my hair"

"Of course Woo. Anytime"

He smiles tightly, "I'll see you later"

I nod

He leaves the kitchen and I hear the front door close a minute later

I breathe out, closing my eyes as tears fall down

I'm ok, it's ok, everything is fine

He's happy, I remind myself

It's ok

I can do this

🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊

A few days later

Wooyoung POV

Walking into Binna's apartment with her, I head to the couch while she closes the door

We just finished the first of three photoshoots for the new album

It was an exhausting day

And I had to force myself to keep my eyes off her

To rein in my jealousy when she laughed with San while she did his hair

Then I had to actually do the photo shoot and I'm just tired

"You ok baby?", Binna asked as she sits next to me

"Yeah. Just tired"

She nods, her fingers moving to my hair again

And I know what's coming

She touches my hair for one reason only

To complain

"Do you really like your hair this way?"

I sigh

Didn't we have this conversation?

I know she doesn't like it but I do and it's my freaking hair

"Don't you think it's too long?"

"No Binna, I like it like this"

"Why, because Jo talked you into it?"

I shake my head, "No. Like I told you before she suggested it and I decided to try it. When I looked at it in the mirror I liked it and still do. She would have cut my hair shorter if that's what I wanted. I didn't"

We went over all this

"Hmmm ok", she says, moving her hand out of my hair, "Is everything with Jo and Hyun ok?"

"Fine", I say

It's really none of Binna's business and I don't feel comfortable telling her about Joanne and her relationship Joanne confided in me about it and I'm not telling anyone anything

If she wants people to know her and Hyun are broken up, it's her choice to tell them

"I just noticed her flirting with San and Mingi"

She wasn't

I would of known as I couldn't stop staring at her

But I just shrug

"She says they're ok"

"Oh well that's good. At least she's over me getting to you first"

I'm about to just nod when her words penetrate my brain

When she what?

"What did you say?", I ask before I can stop myself

"I said that it's good she's with Hyun and over that I got to you first"

Ok, she did say that

"What does that mean?"

She shrugs, "It means what it means. She loved you and was gonna tell you but I got you first"

Joanne loves....me?

Since when?

And if Binna knows that and she said she got to me first....

"You knew she loved me when you came onto me?", I whisper in shock

"Well yeah"

Oh my fucking god!

"If you knew why would you hit on me?", I shriek, standing up

Oh my god

She was different when she walked in the day Binna and I got together

She didn't look happy although she played it like she was

I thought something had happened with like family or something and she didn't want to tell me

And since then she's been distant

Not much at first but over the time I've been with Binna she has

And I just realized that her friendship with Binna is non-existent

They used to be friends but now they're not

Because Binna betrayed her

"Because she took too long", Binna says, standing up too, "And I wanted you. She told me she was gonna tell you the day we got together but I didn't believe her"

She wanted me

At her friend's expense

"You knew she was going to tell me that day? You waited until that day to come on to me?"

"It's not like that. I wasn't sure she would actually tell you. I told her to tell you so many times before and she never did. And she still didn't tell you"

"Because she's not mean like that!", I shout, "She wouldn't tell me how she feels knowing I had a girlfriend!"

This is fucking unbelievable

"Why does it matter Woo? She's happy with Hyun"

"No she's not!", I yell, "I lied! She's not happy! She broke up with him!"

Oh fuck, the guy she was talking about...the one that slipped away...it has to be me

"I like him..... love him but I took too long to say anything to him. And when I was ready to tell him, he was with someone else"

It fits...it has to be me

Oh my god, she loves me

"Ok but that still doesn't matter Wooyoung. It's over, in the past. You love me"

"No I don't", I tell her

I've never said I love you to her before so I don't know where she's getting that from

"What do you mean you don't?", she gapes

"I don't", I repeat, "I love her"

I finally said it out loud and it's like a huge weight off my shoulders

I'm in love with my best friend

"Her?", Binna screeches, "Since when?"

"Since always", I answer, "I always loved her since I could remember. She was the one I always wanted"

"The fuck Wooyoung? Then why did you say yes to me?"

"Because I thought I had no shot with her", I exclaim, "I thought she knew you were going to come on to me. I thought she didn't feel like that for me"

God, I was so wrong

And fuck, I'm glad I was wrong and she loves me

And I'm enraged that Binna did this to her

"We're over", I tell Binna

She looks at me enraged, "Why, because of her? You don't even know if she still loves you!"

I don't know for sure but I think she does

I have to talk to her

Now

"I'm sorry", I tell her, not sorry at all, "We're done"

I turn away from her, practically running to her door

"You're leaving me for the off chance that she still loves you? Are you fucking kidding, you asshole?"

I stop at her door and turn around

"That's one reason", I growl, "The other is that you hurt my best friend. You knew how she felt and you betrayed her. You hurt her and you didn't and still don't care that you did. Even if I didn't love her, I'd never be with someone like you"

She stares at me in disbelief but I don't have time for her

I leave her apartment, calling a car on my phone, anxious to get to her

-------------------------------

Pounding on her door, I wait for her to open it

I have to talk to her

Right now

The door opens, a look of annoyance on her face

"Wooyoung what the fuck? Are you trying to break-"

I cut her off, stepping inside her apartment, pulling her to me and crashing my lips to hers in a kiss

My entire world changes in an instant, fire flooding my veins, my head spinning, chills running up and down my spine

The kiss, it feels so right

I knew she was my one

I knew it

At first she kisses me back but then after a few seconds she pushes on my chest, breaking the kiss and backing away

"What the hell Woo?"

And I just go off

"Why didn't you tell me?", I demand

She rolls her eyes, moving around me and closing her front door, "Tell you what?"

I spin around to face her, "That I'm the one you want? That you love me? That I'm your one who got away"

Her eyes widen in shock, "How the fuck-"

"Binna told me!", I exclaim, "She made a stupid comment on how she was glad she got to me first and I asked her what the hell that meant"

She looks at me with slight fear and nausea on her face

"She told me everything! How she knew you loved me, how she knew you were going to tell me how you felt on the same day she made a move on me. How she stole me from you"

She shakes her head, "You weren't mine to steal away Woo"

Yes I was

I was always hers

Always

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you call her out on her shit? Why didn't you tell me what happened?"

"And what would that have accomplished Woo? Nothing", she snaps, "You were already with her. Unlike her, I don't go behind people's backs. I don't steal boyfriends, I don't break people up. I didn't even know how you felt about me, if what I said would even matter"

I gape at her

Of course it would matter

She's my best friend

And even if I didn't feel anything for her I wouldn't have been with Binna because she hurt my best friend

I wasn't lying when I told Binna that

"You should have told me", I tell her, "I would never have stayed with Binna. Not when she hurt you like that"

"Doesn't matter anymore"

"Of course it matters!", I explode, "You're more important than her! Than anyone! How could you think I wouldn't care that she hurt you? Of course I'd care!"

She looks away from me nodding, "I'm sorry Woo. I didn't mean to imply you wouldn't care. I know you would have. But I just...I had just gotten the courage to tell you how I feel....I couldn't tell you what she did. If the situation was now then yeah I'd tell you but back when it happened....I still let people walk all over me then. I was still the quiet shy girl who wanted no confrontation. So I let it go"

I can understand that

She has changed so much in the year and a half I've been with Binna

She's more outgoing, tougher

Doesn't let anyone walk all over her, tells you how it is, doesn't sugarcoat things, stands up for herself

I guess that's a direct result of Binna fucking her over

"As long as you're happy, I could deal with it", she says

She shouldn't have to

My happiness shouldn't be at her expense

And she has no idea that she is what would have made me happiest of all

"Look, Woo, I'm sorry you found out this way ok? But really, it doesn't matter", she says, "You still love Binna and I get it ok"

No she doesn't get it

"Two days ago...when you did my hair. When you said Hyun wasn't the guy you wanted....that guy is still me?"

I need to know before I tell her how I feel

I need to know if she still feels that way for me

I need her to say it

I was so angry and so jealous when she was talking about the guy who got away

Wishing it was me she was talking about me

I have to know if she was

She looks at me wearily, "What are you doing Woo? Why are you asking me this?"

"Just answer Jo", I ask

"No, I'm not answering Wooyoung. This conversation is over. There's no reason for me to answer this when you still have a girlfriend. I told you, I don't break up relationships", she snaps, turning away from me, "Just...just go home ok? I'll see you for the shoot tomorrow"

She starts walking towards her bedroom and I just stare at her in shock

For a second

"Joanne Hayes, don't you fucking walk away from me!", I shout

She turns around, her eyes wide, looking at me like I'm insane

"I fucking love you, you dummy!", I yell, "I don't want Binna, I never wanted her! I left her! I wanted you! I always wanted you! You think you were the only one who was chicken shit? I was too! You're my one that got away!"

Her mouth drops, "What?"

"I always loved you", I confess, "And the only reason I went out with Binna was because I thought there was no shot with you! I know girls have like a girl code like guys do. I didn't think I'd ever get to be with you because one of your friends asked me out. I thought you knew and because she went ahead and asked me, I thought you didn't feel that way for me and you were ok with me being with her. I also knew if her and I ever broke up, you wouldn't go behind her back and be with her ex. I thought I'd never be with you, so I said yes to her"

God, I was so stupid back then too

Too scared to tell my best friend I was in love with her for years

That's she was who I wanted

And Binna asking me out really put me in a hard place for the reasons I just told her

Joanne is a very loyal person and she wouldn't hurt people she cares about

But now that all of this has come to light....I don't care about Binna

If it's between her and Binna, I'm choosing her, always

My girl who got away

She stands there gaping at me, not moving from her spot

"I'll always choose you Jo. Always", I tell her, "So if it's me you were talking about the other day and you love me like I love you and you want to be with me, put your money where your mouth is and get the fuck over here and kiss me. Now"

In a fraction of a second she moves, running right to me

My heart fills with pure happiness when I catch her in my arms, her mouth against mine in a mind altering kiss

I pick her up, her arms around my neck, fingers in my hair, legs wrapped around my waist, tongue against mine as she kisses me deeply

"I love you Woo", she says between kisses, joy, relief, love pouring over me hearing her words

She loves me

The girl I love, the girl I pined for loves me too

"I love you Jo", I tell her, my lips right back on hers when I finish speaking

"Fuck, baby all I wanted was you", she whispers

"All I wanted was you too princess", I answer, pressing pecks to her soft lips, "Always, from when we were kids baby. It was always you"

"It was always you Woo. Always. I thought I lost you"

"Never baby. I'll always be yours. I'll always love you"

"I'll always love you baby", she answers, her gorgeous brown eyes looking at me with so much love

I smile, so unbelievably happy I finally got my girl

She closes the space between us, her lips on mine, kissing me deeply

I fall into her kiss, so fucking ecstatic I can finally have them all the time

My feet move on their own, going right to her bedroom

I know the way with my eyes closed

We fall on the bed, her lips glued to mine as she keeps me against her

Her fingers move in my hair, playing with the strands at the back of my head, sending shivers up my spine

I can't stop my hands from touching her, moving under her shirt and finally feeling her warm soft skin

"Woo", she murmurs, her hands moving down my body and pulling my shirt up, her fingers grazing my skin and making me tremble against her touch

We break the kiss momentarily as she pulls my shirt off me and I take hers off

Then our lips are against each other's again as my hands move around her boobs, softly squeezing

"Mmm baby", she whispers, her body arching against mine as my fingers brush against her nipples

Dragging kisses down her neck, I continue the path to her boob

"Woo", she cries, her hand buried in my hair and pulling, getting even more riled up than I already am

Lavishing licks on her nipple, I feel it get hard against my tongue, her moans music to my ears

Wrapping my mouth around her nipple, I suck on it, loving the way it feels in my mouth as she screams louder

I stay on her boob, sucking hard as I push down her pants and panties, her legs kicking them off for me

Switching to her other nipple, I continue my sucking while touching her cunt

I moan in her skin as I feel how utterly wet she is

Soaked

And it's all for me

Slowly, I slide two fingers in her tiny hole, her cunt squeezing as soon as I'm in

Fuck, she's going to feel so fucking amazing on my dick

Pulling my fingers out, I thrust them back inside over and over, her moans louder than before

I move my fingers inside her, searching for that spot that will have her fall apart for me

God, I want to see that so badly

Pressing down inside her, she cries out and I smirk around her nipple

Found it

I concentrate on driving my fingers right into her spot, moving my palm against her clit at the same time

She flood my hand, leaking out around us and I bet she's drenching the sheets

I keep working her over with my fingers, letting go of her nipple and sliding down to her pretty pussy

Latching onto her clit, I keep my tongue against it as I suck

"Wooyoung! Oh god!", she screams, her hips moving, fucking my fingers as she meets my thrusts

Her little clit throbs hard against my lips sending pleasure down to my already painfully hard cock

Switching, I give her clit long licks using all of my tongue, starting with the flat of it and ending with flicking her bump with the tip

"Yes, Wooyoung, yes baby!", she cries, "Oh my god"

"Mmm", I moan into her, feeling her cunt pulse impossibly fast around my fingers

She's right there

Shoving my fingers inside just as I suck her clit back in my mouth has her screaming loudly as she orgasms

I raise my eyes, watching the beautiful sight of her coming in front of me

God, she's fucking ethereal, her face and body in so much pleasure

I finger and suck her through it, her pussy so fucking wet, it's all over my hand

When she finishes, I pull my fingers out and slip my tongue down, into her waiting hole

"Oh god", she whimpers, her fingers tightening in my hair

I get a first taste of her cum and my god it's so good

So sweet, like candy

Pulling my tongue out, I lick along her pussy, spreading her slit with my tongue and ending on her clit

Then I do it again and again, thoroughly enjoying eating her cunt

She squirms a bit so I move my arms around her legs, holding her down and open for me

"I'm not done yet princess", I tell her, slurping around her clit, "I want more. You came on my fingers now you have to cum on my tongue"

"Woo...I...don't...think....I don't know..."

"You can", I assure her, "No matter how long it takes, you're gonna cum on my tongue, then on my cock"

"Fuck", she whimpers

"I could eat you, fuck you all night princess. Make you cum again and again", I tell her

"Jesus, Woo"

"You want that baby?", I ask

"Yes", she cries, "Yes Woo, fuck, I want you"

"Good baby. I want you too. So fucking much", I assure her between licks, "And now that you're finally mine, I'm gonna fuck you and make you cum over and over. Sound good?"

"So good", she agrees

I go back to eating her cunt, sliding my tongue in her pulsing hole again, feeling the clenching on my tongue down in my dick

I can't wait to be inside her

As I tongue fuck her perfect pussy, her cream runs everywhere, all over my face, my chin, sliding down my neck, soaking me just how I like it

I swallow as much as I can, the taste of her my new favorite flavor

Her hand pulls and tugs my hair hard, sending pleasure down my spine and I moan in her pussy

"Fuck princess, harder", I demand, "Pull harder"

"Hmmm", she whimpers

"Remember what I told you about my hair baby?", I ask in between thrusting my tongue in her cunt, my eyes on her

She looks down at me, biting her lip as she says, "You like when your hair is pulled"

"That's right princess", I confirm, "So do it for me, yeah?"

"Yeah baby", she whispers, tugging hard, making me smile

I don't know what it is or why I like it but pulling my hair gets me so fucking horny

It should hurt and on some level it does but it just turns me on more

And right now, it's making me eat her cunt faster

"Wooyoung", she cries, "I'm coming. Oh fuck!"

I shove as much as my tongue inside her cunt as I can as she orgasms, her cream flooding my tongue and mouth

I swallow eagerly, the pulses of her cunt feeling so fucking good as she screams my name

Her fingers pull my hair this way and that, her hips pushing her cunt into my face as her body arches

And I love every fucking minute of it

Every minute

As soon as she finishes, I pull my tongue out, licking and cleaning her pussy as I get out of my pants and boxers

I move over her, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me down on top of her, her soft smooth skin against mine, her lips kissing me

Her legs wrap around me as I kiss her deeply, slowly pushing my aching cock into her

"Mmmm", she moans in my mouth as her pussy takes me so fucking pleasurably, latching on my cock and sucking me in as I move

God, she feels so fucking good, like I've never felt before

Her body pressed against mine, her hips moving up as I get more and more inside her tight drenched cunt

She feels incredible sliding open for me as I bottom out

"Oh god Woo", she moans, her hands back in my hair as she kisses me

I stay inside her, just feeling her wrapped around me, the soft spasms of her cunt keeping a hum of pleasure running through me

"Fuck princess", I murmur, moving my kisses to her pretty neck, "You feel so good"

"Mmm you too Woo"

"Yeah baby. Fuck, do you feel how perfect we are together? How I fit perfectly inside you, how you fit perfectly wrapped around me?"

"Yes Wooyoung, I feel it", she whimpers, her cunt clenching my cock hard, sending pleasure up my spine

"You're mine", I whisper, kissing a spot that has her moaning loudly, "All mine. Always mine"

She nods, "Yes Woo. And you're mine baby"

"Always princess. I was always yours and I'll always be yours"

"I love you Wooyoung"

I groan in her neck, absolutely loving hearing those words from her

"I love you Joanne. Always princess"

"Always Woo"

With that, I start moving, pulling out of her then slowly sliding back in, making sure I'm all inside her again, so deep in her

Her hand tugs my hair, pulling my head back as I increase my speed, thrusting into her, the sound of our skin against each other's loud in her room

One of her hands moves around me, her fingers digging in my back as she moans for me, her pussy taking me over and over, utter bliss falling over me

She groans loudly when my head hits her spot, calling my name, begging me fuck her there

And I oblige, driving my cock right into her spot, watching the pleasure in her face, feeling her shake under me, feeling her gorgeous legs tighten around my waist

Moving to my knees, I lean my hand next to her head, wrap my other arm around her waist and hold her up against me, fucking into her harder, smashing her spot

"Yes Wooyoung! Yes! Baby!", she screams, clinging onto me

I'm in so much bliss, her cunt stretching so wonderfully around me, spasming quickly, creaming my cock like I can't fucking believe

I've never had a pussy cream this much before, it's all over my cock, my lap, my legs, the bed

So fucking pretty

"Please Woo", she whimpers, tears falling down her face as I slam into her, "Sss....so good. Ggg..gonna cum"

"Yes baby", I grunt, "Cum around my cock. Want it now princess"

Burying inside her, she screams, shaking uncontrollably under me as she cums, her cunt strangling my cock, squirt pouring from her, the sight of it streaming around my cock so fucking pornographic

"Wooyoung! Wooyoung! Wooyoung!"

Her cries of my name turn me on like nothing else and I go faster than I thought possible, fucking her through her orgasm

Her squirt is flying everywhere, hitting my chest, my stomach, the bed

"Yes baby", I urge, intense pleasure from her orgasm assaulting my body, "So pretty. Fuck, so beautiful coming for me. Such a pretty princess"

When she's done, I pull out, turning her over, moving her to her hands and knees, sinking right back into her

"Fuck", we both yell, her ass moving back until she crashes into me, burying my cock inside her, squeezing hard

Stars blast in my vision as I moan

Leaning over her, I wrap my arm around her middle and start moving, plunging into her waiting cunt over and over, pressing kisses all over her shoulder

"Woo, baby, you feel so good", she whimpers, rocking back on my dick as I move into her, taking me deeper than before

"No you feel good baby", I whisper, fucking harder into her, "So tight around me, so wet for me"

"Mmm you're so fucking big Woo, so hard", she moans, "Gonna make me cum again"

I know, I can feel it

Feel her pussy get tighter, feel the incredible pleasure of pushing through that tightness, her cream soaking me, her pussy so fucking wet, the squelching sounds of my cock entering her sounding in the room

"Please make me cum", she sobs, her body trembling in bliss

"I will baby", I assure her, stroke after stroke hitting her spot, "Make you cum all over my cock again"

Sheathing my length inside her, she screams my name the loudest she has all night, her body visibly shuddering as she orgasms

I choke on a moan as incredible ecstasy tramples over me

"Cum Wooyoung!", she yells, her cunt throbbing in my cock in a vice grip, "Please Woo, want your cum inside me"

"Fff...fuck! Joanne!", I yell, my vision turning white as I cum deep in her pussy, my body shaking from the pure utter pleasure, "Yes baby, fuck, fuck, yes"

Her pussy clenches my cock over and over as I pump cum into her, both of us moaning loudly

As the pleasure slowly fades we both collapse on the bed

I pull out of her, her whimpers so soft

Wrapping my arm around her, I pull her against me, her back against my chest

She turns back, her arm reaching around my neck and pulling me down into a kiss

"I love you Woo", she whispers, then kisses me again

I fall into her kiss, so fucking happy she's mine

When the kiss ends, I look down in her eyes, moving her hair out of her face

"I love you Jo. So much baby"

She smiles, taking my hand and kissing the back of it, "So much Woo"

She turns back around, moving back into me and snuggling, pulling my arm over her again

I secure my arm around her, kissing the back of her neck as I settle next to her

"Nap time princess?", I ask against her skin

"Nap time baby", she confirms, "Is that ok?"

"More than ok", I agree, "As long as you stay right here in my arms"

"Deal", she giggles

I smile, kissing her shoulder, holding her tightly, closing my eyes, completely relaxed and happy I got my one that got away

#wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung fanfic #wooyoung fanfic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut

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civilight-eterna · 9 months ago

Note

Hiii requesting horndragora, having an angry and steamy encounter in a Londonium alleyway

(cw: dubious consent, toxic yuri, enemies with benefits)

---

The order of "pin down the caster" was probably not meant to be taken so literally.

Horn had routed around Mandragora's cadre, covered by the debris that fell in the explosion, and at first contact, she'd managed to get behind her, far at the back lines of the fight.

A hand over her mouth and a chokehold later, and she's dragging the kicking feline into the back alley, unseen in the chaos.

"I'm not going to kill you. Just take a cat-nap until my squad passes over and I won't have to tear your head from your shoulders."

Mandragora's legs go weak faster than she expects them to and she staggers to kneel with her as she collapses to the ground, her knees splayed to either side of Horn's thigh.

They struggle for a few more seconds, in the interim of which, Horn realizes-

Mandragora is absolutely soaking between her legs.

It wouldn't be the first time someone has pissed themselves with fear while fighting with Horn, but that's precisely why she can tell that this isn't that. She's shocked, but not enough to loosen her grip.

"Are you-" Horn flexes her arm, tries to keep focused, but she can't seem to spit out the second half of her question-

-seriously about to cum from being strangled?

It's so beyond anything she could have fathomed that her arm slips in her distraction, and Mandragora throws her head back into her nose the next instant in a way that tells her she didn't even need to say it aloud. Heat trickles fast down both nostrils and through her bitten lip as the caster reverses her position, closes her hands around Horn's throat.

"Fuck, you-" She's coughing the words out. One of her eyes is red with broken blood vessels. Her hands aren't even that tight, or holding her in the right place to do the worst kind of damage. She's probably never been in a physical fight in her life where she had even glimpsed the 'winning' side. "Fuck you, you corn-fed Victorian cunt, it wasn't enough to try killing me? You wanted, to humiliate me too?"

Horn puts all her force into her legs, walking them inside Mandragora's guard to pound her feet hard into her chest. The feline goes flying through a brittle glass storefront, and when she chases her inside, she finds her scrambling to her feet, clutching a bleeding arm. A wall of rocks erupts behind Horn, sealing the door, the window, everything.

"Still want to blow us up, toy soldier?"

Horn growls, wordless fury building in her chest. Her team is on the other side, bleeding, enduring, and she can't clear it without burying them both.

"No, but maybe I'll use that hard head of yours as a battering ram if you keep talking." She wipes blood from her lip and flicks it across the floor.

A surge of energy bursts out of Mandragora and the rocks grow to triple their size, closing in the storefront, leaving about half the room to stand in. Horn staggers in the resulting quake and closes the distance between her and Mandragora, pouncing on her. A wolf on a kill.

Pin down the caster.

"You really want to die so badly?" Horn can't keep the sudden strain out of her voice.

"Don't you dare act like it's unbelievable or something! You don't get to pity me now-you're about a decade overdue! As if you have no idea how I've lived!" She's wiggling her wrists under Horn's grip, twisting from side to side in futile struggle.

"Oh, I've an idea," Horn breathes out, "'Mandragora'. Something that is ripped, screaming and crying, from the dirt. Did you choose that yourself? Or was it a 'gift'-" Her glare is molten, haloed in the curtain of wheat-colored hair obscuring them, "-from that beloved Leader of yours?"

Mandragora roars, thrashing and kicking, her fingers curling downwards and grasping, desperate to scratch.

"I'd do it again-I'd claw myself out from under as many bodies it takes to make you Victorians bleed even another drop-!"

Horn suddenly realizes how she's going to get them out of this.

It's unpleasant. It's nothing she would ever consider in any other circumstance.

She knows it'll work so she knows she's going to do it.

But it is all kinds of wrong.

"Alright, little feline-" Horn grimaces, and pushes her knee between Mandragora's legs, eliciting a scandalized gasp, "-bury us here, then. And when historians come to uncover us, maybe ten years from now, maybe one hundred years from now, they'll find Dublinn's caster and the 'White Wolf of Victoria'-"

She readjusts her arms, one around Mandragora's waist, the other raised to press a palm to her cheek in the most saccharine and overtly romantic display of affection she can imagine as she presses her forehead to hers.

"-locked together as star-crossed lovers that deserted their battlefield to die in one another's arms."

"You bitc-mmph-!"

Horn kisses her, hard, leans into her with her full weight, pulls at her slight waist and runs her fingers through her hair like she's never loved anyone else in her life.

Mandragora's nails destroy her back. She's screaming against her mouth, biting at her lips, but Horn readjusts for every inch of purchase she makes.

"Fucking Victorians-!" Mandragora howls, as Horn shifts her mouth over her throat, smothers it with bruising kisses, "-Faking's all you're good for-!"

"What about you?" Horn breathes into her ear, "Were you faking it when you nearly came from being choked out? Or are you that much of a pervert in general? Could it have been anyone but me behind you?" Horn strokes her hair out of her eyes, and Mandragora grabs her wrist so hard her nails are drawing blood.

"I don't know, I think you just love me that much that you would die in my arms."

There's something wrong with the kiss that follows. Tears prick the corners of Mandragora's eyes as she tries to force Horn back, but she's no match for her physical force. They're both exhausted.

The kissing becomes ever-so-slightly less performative on Horn's part. Mandragora's lips part just a touch wider, and even though Horn has been avoiding it, she finds her tongue sliding deep into her mouth.

"Hh...Hhah, fuck-" Mandragora whimpers, trembling with the urge to resist using her arts, overshoot her power. Horn's knee rubs slowly between her legs and she swears louder before she's silenced with an even deeper kiss.

"Mmhm." Horn exhales hard and gasps as Mandragora's cold hands slide under her tank, drag it up just over her breasts. This wasn't in the plan, she thinks distantly to herself.

"Victorian pig-" Mandragora spits, "-I bet you're, hah-used to sweating like an animal-on a leash with some crystal-studded plug up your ass, some noble's concubine because they pay big money to fuck their soldiers-"

Disgusting. Horn should be disgusted.

There should be no other emotions present at the revelation of such a filthy fantasy that her enemy has fashioned for her.

"You think about me a lot at night, don't you? All alone with your preoccupying hatred. Hope it keeps you warm, little feline."

"I was born from a grave. I've never been warm in my life."

"Then may my love for you sow warmth anew that entwines us together for the ages. I'll save you. You'll never be cold again under my embrace-"

"SHUT UP!"

The entire store quakes, the roof blowing off into the sky, the rocks vibrating so violently they become dust and powder overhead. Everything comes crumbling down.

On instinct, Horn throws her arms over Mandragora's head, ducks and covers until it's over.

They stare at one another. A voice from afar breaks the reverie.

"Aye! Captain?!"

They're both rolling away from each other, running opposite directions. Mandragora stops at the other side of the store, hand on the doorframe.

"-This never fucking happened, toy soldier."

"-Agreed."

(It's not the first lie they've told.)

#arknights #horn (arknights)#mandragora (arknights)#requests #my writing #foetp: impale you with my rock #dubious consent #toxic yuri #enemies with benefits #manipulation #these two really are the toxic yuri of all time #slowly working through requests #thank you for your patience!#horndragora

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sweet-lost-husbands · 2 years ago

Text

Seek Forgiveness

Prompt from @marchtothefuckingsea: you all like the trope of character being so delirious from their injuries that they don't realize someone on their team trying to help them, so they fight back, but I offer you: Character, delirious, weakly fighting someone trying to help them, but they finally recognize who it is and they fight even harder.

Hurt/Comfort

I absolutely loved writing this! Hopefully you enjoy reading this, please feel free to give any advice as well.

Word count: 3k on the dot 🫠🫠

Summary: Reader gets hurt on a hunt and she is forced to rely on someone who has hurt her in the past, to save her life.

Warnings: Serious injury, blood, broken bones, extreme gore, restraints, potions, accidental torture?? but only to save her. Reader is scared of Castiel.

No usage of y/n.

Italics are the character's thoughts

It was a simple mistake- and yet an unforgivable one. That was the irony to it.

I limp forward, slowly catching my breath as I walk. I hold my cold hand against my abdomen, Warm blood leaking through the gaps in my fingers and the fabric of my clothes, coating my body like a blanket as gravity beckons it down. I know I needed to put more pressure, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

I take another sharp painful step, when something crashes into my side, and I'm thrown to the unforgiving floor. I hear the snaps before I feel the hot pain that explodes in my ribs. My lungs gasp for a single breath of air but it seems to fall short.

I have been in this situation once before; it gives me back memories I try deeply to forget.

Then something is on me, clawing at my flesh. I recognise that smell anywhere, the blood thirst- the unholiness. A vamp.

I fumble with the machete, begging my numb fingers to work. My heart pounds in my chest and ricochets of skull, so loud that I plead for moment of silence.

My fingers grip around the handle and gain just enough leverage to sever its head with one flick of the wrist.

I collapse backwards, coughing and spluttering as the world spins and blurs. An all too familiar metallic taste erodes my mouth. All my limbs ache with exhaustion. My eyelids feel heavy, and my mind begins to drift into unknown places.

I almost reach the blissful darkness when an agonising burst of pain brings me back. I scream, thrashing against the sudden pressure on my abdomen. My muscles tense and I arch upward, whimpering as the force increases.

Take it away take it away takeitaway

Water brims in my eyes; I twist my hands up and latch around the unknown arm, in a weak attempt to pry it off. My vision smudges and I can't see their face. They take the moment to increase the pressure even more, so that now I'm sure they are pushing their whole weight against it. I let out a strangled cry and can’t stop from writhing beneath them.

Stop it, pleaseee

“Shhhh, I know it hurts.”

I barely make out the words because they are clouded by a layer of fog. Briefly, a feeling of warmth floats over my forehead, then disappears again, followed by some faint muttering.

“Leave. Me. The. Hell. Alone.” I pant, continuing to push at his arms, anything to get away. When all fails, I start to turn in on myself, but he manages to keep me in place.

Please

“Hey, easy, easy, don’t move!”

I can’t.

One hand continues to put too much pressure on the wound while the other starts skimming over my skin, looking for injuries before coming to rest on my shoulder.

“Oh god, your cold. We have to get you out of here.”

Before I can protest, he pulls me into sitting and drapes my arm over his shoulder to support my weight. I let out a weak sob at the movement, doing what little I can to resist. A moment later, I am hoisted up.

It starts with a few steps, but my side screams at me, and I try to double over and lay back on the ground.

“Crap.” I hear him say, as he repositions my arm to keep me standing.

He reaches under my knees and across my back and pulls me into his chest. I weakly shove at it, squirming from the shift in my ribs.

No no no no

“I know, I know.” He says something more, but I don’t mange to make it out.

The next few minutes go by slowly. Each step moves me, and I can't do anything to stop it. At some point my eyes flutter shut. Yes, darkness. But a sharp pain blossoms as he purposely jolts me awake.

I gasp, once again trying to free myself but he only tightens his grip.

“Stay with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes.”

“No....”

“Yes.” His voice is firm like an order. “Yes, and if you don’t, then I'm going to have to force you back again. And you don’t want that do you?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Eventually I feel him ease his arms that secure me and delicately place me down on something soft. Hopefully a bed but I'm too tired to care. Where am I?

Hands glide over my face and cup it. I try to wave them away, but they don’t budge. A blurry figure is pulled into my eyesight and just for a second, I am able to focus enough to recognise the face. Cas.

Damn it, I should have realised earlier. Not him. Anyone but him. He’s going to hurt me again.

Suddenly I pull every tendril of remaining energy from my body to fight his grasp and propel myself away. The cool floor meets my face and I scramble weakly along it. Whimpering and curling up in a ball, tears adding to the already blood-soaked floor as my limbs finally give out. I’m aware that I'm shivering but its only when I look ahead and see a mirror, do I realise how pale I actually am.

A finger taps my shoulder, and I can sense his presence next to me.

Please don’t hurt me

“Go away!” My voice strains.

“You know I can’t do that.” He brushes a stray strand of hair from my face and forces our eyes to meet. It almost catches me off guard; I see something there that I have never seen before. Pleading.

Why?

“Don’t you dare.” I whisper but he ignores me and tries to slide his fingers to the hem of my shirt. I bat his hands away once more.

“Stop fighting me!” His head is tilted in pure concern.

Why does he care, why is he different?

I start to mumble a response, but a coughing fit quickly wracks my torso. Cas acts quickly, bringing my head up to rest on his lap until it subsides. From there, he lifts me onto the bed and lays me out flat, which I instinctively start to curl.

“I can’t heal you but let me help.”

“No, g’t aw’y fr’m me. Anyth’ng b’t your help.” I slur.

“Okay.” His voice is laced with remorse and heartbreak. “Then you leave me no choice.”

First, he grasps my arm and gently tugs it away from me, securing it with rope; the next is my other hand and then both my legs, until I am fully outstretched. I almost can’t stand it; the pain intensifies. I feebly yank on the restraints, trying to get free myself, but they are unyielding.

I only notice that Cas had left the room when he returns, holding a med kit. He sets it down on the bed-side table and starts taking things out and positioning them in a certain way. “I’m sorry but I’ve already caused you enough pain and if you die and I had a chance to save you......” He trails off. “I won't be able to forgive myself.”

He pauses, taking out a wad of gauze and a bottle of alcohol.

In the haze, I almost miss the stray tear making its way down his cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You d’d.” I rasp, narrowing my vision on what he is doing, with an expression of horror on my face. Don’t put me through more pain, just let me go, why can't he let me go? Surely, he can see that I don’t want this. Surely.

I pull at the restraints again.

“I know.” He purposely hides his face so I can’t see the sadness in his eyes, “And yes, while it may have been true that I was under a spell and couldn’t help it; I am sorry. I will do anything to make up to you, but first let me help.”

Nothing manages to leave my throat as he turns back to me. Was that true? Was it not his fault? I feel the blood drain from my face. Last time he had tortured me and left me for dead, I was lucky that Dean made it to me in time. After that I became a hunter to stop things like what happened to me. But maybe Cas wasn’t a monster- not anymore.

“Stay still.” He says and gives me a sad smile; like he hates what he is about to do. I feel his gentle fingers at the hem of my crimson-soaked shirt, and he carefully lifts it up.

He grabs a few things. “This will hurt...... I am truly sorry.”

There is a slap of elastic gloves being put on and then he nears. I feel as he places one hand a couple of inches above the wound, which I realise is to keep me in place.

The moment the alcohol-soaked gauze skims over my tender skin, I screech, lashing out, fighting the rope bound around me. It burns like my whole abdomen is lit aflame.

Can’t get free can’t get free cantgetfree

My body trembles as Castiel begins to push it in further to clean it. I struggle against him, pushing back into the bed as much as I can, but it doesn’t help. Nothing stops him from taking his time to thoroughly sterilise it. I jerk at every movement of the gauze- back and forth, pushing in the skin, not failing to get right into the corner. Each inch forcing it way through my tender flesh. I cry from the pain, still tugging at the restraints and recoiling against Cas’s hands, completely helpless to free myself.

“Easy, easy, almost done.” He says as he wipes the wound one last time and pulls away.

Sweat trickles down my forehead and I visually relax, panting.

“I’m sorry but that had to be done.” He says over his shoulder as he fiddles with something else in the med kit. “Dean and Sam will be here by tomorrow evening, but you’ll bleed out long before they get here; I'm going to have to stitch it.”

“Nooooo pleaseeee.” I whine.

He lays a comforting hand on my shoulder and starts rubbing soothing circles. “Trust me, I don’t want to do this either. I would give anything not to have to hurt you again.” The way his words quiver like there is a lump in his throat, sells the line.

He waits a little longer and then lets my shoulder go and brings the needle and thread to the bed-side table.

“C-cold.” I stutter.

“I’ll get you a blanket once this is done.”

Castiel places the same hand on my chest again but this time, he applies a little more pressure. “Don’t move if you can help it, it could cause me to stitch all wonky. I know this isn’t ideal, but we can’t waste any more time. Please forgive me.”

I flinch the first time the needle pricks my pale skin, then still. I stifle my groan which soon turns into a quiet sob as he continues relentlessly. I am barely aware of him muttering hush apologies to me at every groan, cry and beg.

The pain expands though my side with each new stitch, constantly lingering. I try to focus on the ceiling, but it doesn’t distract much, since there is no way to not feel the movement of the needle. God I hate needles.

"Stop tensing the area I'm trying to stitch." Cas orders and clamps his hand down a little more.

“Yeah, well if you, AAGH.” He hits the spot which is the deepest and it causes me to jump.

“I told you to stop moving!”

I nod and clench my hands until the knuckles are white, to stop myself from wriggling.

“You know,” He starts his next stitch and pinches the skin together, ignoring my wince. “You are quite remarkable; a thousand others would’ve passed out long before this step.” He threads it through and ties it.

My skin is so tight around the wound, and it feels like a white-hot sting that won’t go away.

“Holy Shit!” I swear, as a sudden burning rushes through the wound. He puts the alcohol on the table and gives be an apologetic smile. "You could have warned for that."

He shrugs. "Sam says it’s better without a warning."

I whimper as he places a large bandage over the top and starts clearing everything away.

“It’s done for the time being.” He comforts, and lightly kisses me on the forehead. “You can sleep now.”

I feel my head finally lull to the side and I allow myself to drift off.

When I open my eyes, my head throbs and the world spins. I see Cas and for an instant my mind takes me right back to when he was a monster, and I bolt up.

He rushes to my side and to pushes me down with his angel strength.

“Hey, hey, it’s just me. Slow down.”

I relax in his arms once I realise.

“There.” He soothes, shifting so that I am lying flat, but his voice soon turns serious. “Stunts like that could tear your stitches.” He peels the bandage back and takes a look. “But thankfully it hasn’t.”

He pulls the blanket back over me and carefully holds a glass of water to my lips. “Slow.” He says and tilts it a little.

I hadn’t realised how thirsty I was and start to lap it up. He pulls away and I chase after it, but he continues to hold my clamp down on my shoulder with one hand.

“Slow.” He repeats and brings the cup back. I do what as he says until it's gone.

I wiggle my feet enough to find that he must have taken the restraints off while I was out.

He takes a seat next to the bed and squeezes my hand. It's so warm.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I've been stabbed.”

Cas smiles. “How do you really feel?”

I sigh. “Tired, everything hurts.”

“I’d assume that’s normal considering what you’ve been through.” He tilts his head towards my ribs. “When you're ready, I need to take a look, okay?”

I swallow thickly. “Okay.” I chastise myself at how the words break in my throat, I know he's only trying to help.

A shudder escapes my lips as Cas’s warm fingers skim over my ribs. I hold back a choked cry as he presses into them, testing the bones. By the time he finishes, I am as far away from him as the bed allows.

“A couple are broken; I'll go get you an icepack.”

When he re-enters and positions the icepack over my sides, his face has saddened like he isn’t telling me something.

“What is it?” I ask.

He doesn’t hold back. “There’s been a slight delay with Sam and Dean, they won’t be here for a few more days. We are in a small cabin out in the woods, it's not safe here. The vampire's that did this to you could be back with the rest of the nest.”

“Oh.” I manage to say.

He wipes a finger over my face to stop the tears. “We need to leave but we can’t do that with the condition you're in now. And I can’t heal you because they used a blade warded against angels.”

“So, what do we do?” I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.

“You know I don’t want to put you in more pain than I have to.” I can feel him shaking now; he's scared.

“Cas.” My tone is slightly louder than I wanted.

There's a pause. He readjusts his trench coat like its uncomfortable. “There may be a healing spell that could help but I'm told that the procedure will be...... unpleasant, to say the least.”

His whole face screams regret but I surprise him with my answer. “Do it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah..... I trust you.”

“Okay.” Cas says, more to himself than me. He places the neon purple potion on the table and undoes his belt. “Open,” he commands, “It should help with the pain.”

I reluctantly take in the leather and bite down.

“I have to restrain you now. If you mess with the potion even a little, it could prove faulty and there is no way in hell, I'm putting you through this twice.”

I give a slight nod and he starts tying my limbs with rope. I get more scared by the second, I can already hear the rhythmic beat of my heart. This time he also adds some rope over my thighs and chest so I can move even less than before.

Once he’s finished, he fetches the potion and hovers over me.

“If you have somewhere you find soothing, go there in your mind.”

Then he begins, first removing the bandage to expose the wound then pours it in.

A blazing burst of pain explodes through my body, everything feels like it's on fire. Then his hands are on me, rubbing it as deep into the wound as possible while I strain and fight to get away from the hands that are hurting me. He manages to shove it through the gaps in the stitches so it can travel deeper. I scream and cry around the belt, every muscle tensed so much that it cramps. I can feel as every rib welds itself together and every cell in the wound presses until it's all combined.

When all the pain finally simmers, relief washes over me. Cas whispers comforting words and praise as he undoes the restraints and pulls me into a hug. I am too weak to resist the movement, but I don’t want to, its sweet and warm. He saved me.

“You did so well,” He soothes. “I am so proud of you. Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I answer simply, “I am now, and I forgive you.”

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writing-biting · 4 months ago

Note

what are your fave songs??!! or some lyrics you like or relate to

Promiseland by Mika always drives me INSANE

I was given the name that doesn't feel like it's mine

Lived my life as the good boy I was told I should be

Prayed every night to a religion that was chosen for me

DO YOU HEAR THIS DO YOU SEE THIS??? THIS MESSES ME UP

Enchanté by Dirt Poor Robins awakens something violent and desperate and hungry in me

We huddled up, we held on tight

For grounded men were jealous of

The angel's flight, angel's flight

They were butterflies to them

So they brought their boards to pin

The wings and bodies of our gods

For studying

LIKE UM??? UM??? HELLO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

Father by The Front Bottoms is VISCERAL

I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat

And he is screaming and crying for help

And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him

Then it ever did protecting myself

I am CLAWING AT THE FLOOR.

Wires by The Neighborhood DID SOMEONE SAY DADDY ISSUES

We talked about making it

I'm sorry that you never made it

And it pains me just to hear you have to say it

You knew the game and played it

It kills to know that you have been defeated

I see the wires pulling while you're breathing

You knew you had a reason

It killed you like diseases

I can hear it in your voice while your speaking you can't be treated

Mr. Know-it-all had his reign and his fall

At least that's what his brain is telling all

If he said help me kill the president

I'd say he needs medicine

Sick of screaming let us in

The wires got the best of him

All that he invested in goes

Straight to hell

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

LIKE. GOD. AURGHHHHH

Okay, okay, I'll stop here. I've taken FOREVER answering this ask. Music is my greatest weakness

#peppermint talks #answerings asks #drowninnoodles

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meetmyothersouls · 2 years ago

Text

The Witch

part 11

warnings: blood, slight aggression, smut

I slipped out of Hal's grasp. It felt wrong to kiss each other in the presence of Aldous, barely holding onto life in his bed. Hal caught my hand before I had the chance to fully escape.

"What troubles you, Ellara?" Hal asked.

My mind was racing with thoughts. Will the wounds I packed on Aldous' abdomen heal or fester with infection, leading him to a quicker death? His blood was still caked on my skin. I could feel it then more than before. I needed it off. I began scratching at my skin with my free hand. Truth be told, I was scared in this moment. After a certain amount of time in Hal's castle, I knew things between us would intensify, though, I had been avoiding that moment. The moment that I knew would come at some point in my life. The moment I would lie with a man and let him have me in ways no other had before. But even that thought seemed like one that wasn't true. During my stay, I discovered something about myself. Deep inside, I always knew that there were parts of me that felt...lost. Lapses of memories, forgotten moments in time. Hal spoke of knowing me. Why couldn't I remember it?

"Nothing. I need to wash this blood off of me."

I rounded the corner, sloshing through blood that still needed to be cleaned up. I shuddered as it stained my gown further. How did Aldous survive losing this much blood? I resist the urge to turn around and touch up his dressings. It's only when Hal pulls me back into him that I realize how quickly I'm walking.

"Ellara, slow down. Tell me what is wrong."

Hal stopped, forcing me to turn to face him. The early morning sun had come up, illuminating his face and showing me how tired he looked. Blood splattered on his face; soil smeared across his forehead, but most of all a look of complete and utter knowing. It infuriated me. Before I could stop myself, I shoved him against the wall of the hallway.

"Why can't I remember?" I screamed, my voice echoing, bouncing off the walls of the sleeping castle.

Hal stood there, looking at me. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it again. He knew something

"Damn it all!" I shoved him again, pounding my fists into his chest. He took every punch; every shove I threw at him he took until I was a crying mess against him. "I just want to remember you. I want to remember us," I sobbed.

"I know, Ell. I know." He ran a dirty hand down my back, smoothing my matted hair as he did. "There is nothing I can do that can bring those memories back to you. I have prayed on it a hundred times over. I have wished you back into my arms every second of every day, but listen to me," he said. He brought his hands to my face and pulled it up, forcing me to look at him. "I will love you twice as fiercely as I did before for a whisper of a chance that you'll love me back half as much as you did the first time. And I'll take what you give me. I'll cherish it forever, because there are not many men in this kingdom or several kingdoms over who can say they got a second chance at something they thought they lost forever."

Hal pressed his lips against mine, kissing me with an intensity that made my knees weak. Sensing this, Hal scooped me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. He sloshed through the rest of the blood and kissed me the entire way to his chamber, only setting me down to undress me in his washroom. There was already room temperature water in his claw-footed bathtub that I bathed in only a few months prior minutes before I thought I was going to die. It felt so long ago now.

Hal untied the last knot in my gown and the red stained fabric fell the floor, pooling around my feet. I crossed my arms over my bare chest, my skin prickling tightly with goosebumps. Hal's eyes traced over my body. Normally, I'd have felt exposed and uncomfortable, but the look on Hal's face made me feel anything but.

"Do...do you remember when-"

"No," I interrupted him, knowing what he was going to ask. "I don't remember anything."

Hal frowned slightly. "You don't remember," he stepped slowly and cautiously over to me, as if a sudden movement would send me running. "That I took your virginity on a bed of wildflowers?" His thumb hooked onto my chin, lifting my face up to him. "For hours"

"I...I have dreamed about it," I whispered, remembering the dreams I had after the drink Circe gave me that night a few weeks ago."

"Have you?" Hal asked. My eyes were closed, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I... I thought they were dreams. They must've been memories."

Hal smiled wider against my lips as me kissed me. Then his hands were working his clothes, unbuttoning and unclipping what held his clothes onto his body until he was standing completely naked before me. I scanned his body with my eyes, ignoring the blood stains, but taking notice of a scar on his abdomen, similar to the one currently on Aldous'. I made a mental note to ask him about it later as my eyes traveled lower. I gasped at his size, immediately wondering how all of that was supposed to fit inside of me.

Hal lifted his leg and stepped inside of the tub, lowering himself down into the water. He winced as he slid down, until his knees poked out of the already dirtying water.

Hal motioned for me to join him. "Let me wash you, my Ellara."

I joined him in the tub, feeling my cheeks heat as his already hard cock brushed up against my back. I leaned my head back against his chest, my feet barely touched the other side of the tub, while Hal's long and lean body seemed cramped up in the large tub. It made me smile and it made me feel safe as his hands began to wander.

"How I've missed the feel of you, Ellara," Hal whispered. The water, now a reddish-brown color as it cleaned off the massive amounts of blood and soil off of our bodies, concealed where his hands were traveling, so every feel of him on my body was a surprise. His hands cupped my breasts, massaging and squeezing them so tenderly it made my legs fall open automatically. I pressed my back against him, feeling his cock press against my backside, and moaned at his touch. "And I remember all the things that made you shiver, my Ellara, all the ways to touch you that made you whimper like a little kitten, begging for more." Hal's fingers circled my nipples, hardening them into mounds in the now warm water. I could feel myself become wetter as he talked and touched. I whined as he pinched both nipples. "There's my favorite little sound. I've dreamed of that sound. I've thought of that sound as I take my cock in my hand and stroke it every night that you've been away from me, Ellara." Hal shifted in the tub, rubbing his shaft against my back. He groaned a low and throaty sound at the small movement. "I spill my seed everywhere but where it's supposed to go."

"Hal," I whispered, his words alone were enough to make me want to come.

"Do you know where it is supposed to go?" Hal asked as his hands leave my breasts and travel lower. He skipped my heat and rubbed my inner thighs, right next to it, trailing his fingers up and down against my soft skin. I let out a soft moan, attempting to spread my legs wider, but my knees hit the sides of the tub.

"W-where?" I somehow form the word.

Hal let out a soft, devious chuckle while he let one finger make its way to my clit. He circled it once and said, "inside this perfect, pretty cunt of yours."

Hal circled my clit with his index finger, maintaining an agonizing pace until I'm just before coming. My back arched, lifting away from his chest and his hard cock still pressed against it, until he removes his finger, chasing away my orgasm with it.

I whined in protest, only to be answered with a kiss on my neck and a laugh from Hal.

"Let me wash your hair first, and then I'll pleasure you until you cannot take it anymore."

Hal washed my hair for what felt like hours, removing every ounce of dirt, blood and any other grime that had built up since my last bath. He untangled and unmatted every strand of hair with his fingers until it was as soft as it had ever been before. He rushed through washing his hair, claiming it didn't need as much work. Then we were out of the tub, he dried me with a towel and carried me to his bed, where he laid me out and spread my legs open wide. He wasted no time with words or explanations. He pressed his mouth against my cunt and licked a warm stripe up my slit, instantly earing a loud moan from me. He used the tip of his tongue to flick the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing my thighs to shake immediately. If this is one of the things he was talking about that made me whimper like a kitten before, I believed him.

"You like that?" Hal asked, kissing the inside of my thighs while I moaned for more. He sucked my clit into his mouth, and slowly inserted his finger inside of me, pumping in and out gently. Soon, he added another, followed by a curving motion inside. It was too much, I felt like I was going to explode. My back arched off of his bed and my legs spread wider as he quickened the pace of his fingers.

"H-hal, please," I begged, for what I wasn't sure.

"Yes, my Queen, that's it, come for me."

The pressure building in my stomach plummeted and I moaned loudly as the best feeling I had ever felt washed over me. I saw stars as I came, feeling myself shake. And before I could recover completely, Hal was on top of me. Kissing me back to reality. His tongue wrapped around mine. He kissed me so passionately and hungrily, he groaned as I slid back on the bed, opening my legs for him to fit in between them. I felt his cock sitting at my entrance and I knew he'd push himself inside of me in any moment. I pressed my hand onto his stomach, halting him for a moment.

"Ellara, are you well?" He asked me, sudden concern in his voice.

"I...I don't remember how it was before. Is it going to hurt?" I asked quietly.

Hal was quiet for a moment, thinking of what to say. He licked his lips before he spoke. "I have only ever laid with you, Ellara, and I can tell you, the last time I claimed you, you loved every second of it, there was no talk of it hurting."

I nodded and removed my hand his stomach.

"I will try to go slow, but it has been a very long time for me, so I cannot promise you how long I will be able to control myself."

"I trust you," I said to him and pulled his face into mine, kissing him as he began to push inside of me.

I hissed in pain as the first few inches of his cock stretch me. He felt like he was pushing in forever, but when he finally bottomed out, he went still and his eyes went wide.

"This will be much harder that I thought," he admitted.

"What is wrong?" "You feel...indescribable, Ellara. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to last. If I move this minute, I will come immediately."

I can't help but laugh.

"Are you laughing at me?" He asks, trying not to laugh himself.

"No, no of course not," I say as I place a small, but deep kiss to his lips. "It is nice to see my King so vulnerable though."

"Is it?"

I feel Hal begin to slide out of me, and instantly I am bothered by how empty I feel. The feeling doesn't last long, because slowly, he pushes back inside. I feel him against the walls of my cunt, and it's a feeling I cannot describe, it feels strange, but it feels good, it feels right. With each thrust, I can tell Hal feels more confident that he isn't going to hurt me. My legs fall open wider, his thrusts become harder then faster. We stop talking and we both start breathing heavier. I raise my hips slightly and move with him to meet his thrusts. His breath became ragged, and his breathy moans quickly turned into desprate grunts.

"Fuck," Hal groaned, "God, yes. Yes. Fuck." His voice shook and bounced as he talked and thrusted.

My eyes are closed as I feel another orgasm building in the bottom of my stomach. Then I felt Hal's hand on my face. My eyes snapped open.

"Look at me when you do it," he told me. "Look at me when you come."

Hal pressed his forehead against mine and together for both the first and second time, we came.

The day was spent in bed with Hal. Sleeping, making love, kissing, telling stories of before and what was to come next. We didn't leave Hal's room until that night, when I decided, with many complaints from Hal, it was time we check on Aldous.

We dressed, kissed a little more and made our way downstairs. Someone had already cleaned up the river of blood, the only hint of the mess remaining was a slight reddish stain covering parts of the stone floor.

"He'll likely be asleep," I told Hal. "The wound he received was extensive, and the roots I used may not have been strong enough to-"

I stopped mid-sentence as we entered Aldous' room. He was still in his bed, only instead of laying down, he was sitting up on his own, seemingly with little to no pain.

"Aldous-"

"Save yer words, Henry. I've got something I need to say to ye and Ellara."

"Ellara?" I asked. "Are we on a first name basis now?"

"I owe ye an apology."

Hal and I stood in a stunned silence.

"Ye saved me, Ellara, and for that I am eternally grateful."

"I...It's okay, Aldous, you would have done the same for me," I tell him.

"No. No I wouldna have. But now I would. And I am sorry it took me almost dying to figure that out."

I stay silent for a moment, trying to figure out the words to say.

"Hal, can you give me a moment with Aldous?"

Hal gave me an uneasy look and Aldous gave me one to match, surely uncertain of being in a room with a witch so soon after his epiphany.

"I'll be fine, just give me a minute with him."

Hal nodded, slowly making his way out of the room, giving Aldous a warning look before disappearing.

"What happened?" I ask, getting straight to the point.

"I-"

"Was it another witch?"

Aldous' eyes slowly met mine and for the first time, I noticed how blue they were. His eyes scanned over my face, as if he was trying to decide if he was going to tell me the truth or not. Then slowly, he nodded.

"Who was it?" Hal's voice came from the doorway.

"Hal."

"Ellara, this involves me too," Hal said to me, trying his best to not sound impatient. He looked back at Aldous, speaking to him again. "Was it Margery?"

Another grim nod from Aldous, but that time I didn't need to ask any questions.

I was well aware of who Margery was.

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @timotheel0ver @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1 @louievr @love-poems-only @starberry-cake @inlovewithphantasy @alexagirlie @misswestfall @softhecreator @livresjaunes @timmymyluv @inannamoon @harrys-thick-thighs @s-we-e-t-t-ea @timolaurence @its-schmackin-dude @justagirlwhoneedshelp @kteezy997 @sufferingstarlight

#timothee chalamet #timothée chalamet #writing #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet x you #timothee blurb #timothee chalamet imagine #timmy chalamet #smut #dark!timothee #the king 2019 #king Hal #king henry v x reader #king Henry v

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to---the---ark · 11 months ago

Text

This is one of my latest fanfics about MarbleHornets.

The lack of uppercases, punctuation marks and the general "format" is wanted, and it's inspired by my dissociation issues, let's call them that since I'm not sure enough of myself to self diagnose. I hope it helped me portraying what I wanted to portray.

Hope you like it.

Regards,

[REDACTED]

Spoiler warning: mentions of the comic book "Marble Hornets Issue 3.5 - ToTheArk".

HEY, SUNNY BOY, SMILE AT ME

sometimes

i remember things

messages everywhere

secrets everywhere

sometimes

blond hair

bright smile

a little bit of a fessure between the front teeth

i look for it whenever i see someone smiling

how do you smile

i can't do that anymore

the plastic of my maskface is too hard and cold

sometimes

i remember

i was

warm

sometimes

thoughts get confusing

codes and riddles

numbers

glitching reality

the operator

faceless creature

it stole the faces from every memory i had

virus

it infected my whole being

i can no longer be myself

i can no longer remember who i loved

who i was loved by

what love is

i am always so cold

cold as a corpse

yellow hoodie stained with red

eyes no longer bright, one missing

blood seeping through that front teeth

the ark

awaits

i didn't die yet

didn't feed the ark

sometimes

i see

the sun

riddles and codes and warmth

his absent eye is pitch black

he no longer smiles

maybe a ghost

maybe an hallucination

he talks about tim

i do not know who he is

talks about me

can't remember

his voice stern and cold

answers my riddles resolves my codes

he's not really dead

he says

he will stop this

will fix me

but

i am broken, i can't be fixed

i am cold

the day the music died

was raining

old school

dusty floor

i'll kill you i screamed

he fell

down

down below

blood pooling under his head

a red halo

staining a yellow hoodie

my breath laboured

i don't know what i felt

anger

fear

nothing at all

never checked who he was

never dared to

and yet

alex showed me

now he briefly smiles at me

blood seeping through the little gap between his front teeth

is he

really dead

really here

really alive

really gone

is this reality

my head hurts

riddles eat my brain

codes stab it with painful thorns

sometimes

i see

the sun

«I've been looking for you.»

he's offering me his gloved hand

and his warmth tricks me into letting myself be boiled alive

am i really safe

am i me

who is

is tim still here

is tim still me

will i ever take my maskface off

i know no safety beside him

the one who stuck with me despite my impurity

or maybe because of it

maybe he just can't leave

maybe i ruined him once again

the sun is warm

usually

i feel a spark of warmth when i grab his hand

«You are broken, you can be fixed.»

his voice is as soothing as i think i remember it was

calm washes over me

hands stop trembling

i cough twice

i sob ugly crying

clawing his hoody trying to keep him close trying to never let go i don't want to be alone anymore please don't leave

«I'm not leaving, Tim.»

i'm tim

i'm me, he says so

a masked figure

behind him

don't know that facemask

don't know

is it gonna start all over again?

is this person here to torment me again- to take him away again?

i panic

«Listen to me» he says

i do

i think i'm dying

panic swirling in my chest

difficult to breath

«Everything is normal. Everything is fine.»

i don't really remember much

vague and blurry conceps most of the time

but

college, panic attacks before an exam

his smile reassuring me, his voice saying those exact words

«I worry about nothing.»

he calms me

again

soothing voice

warmth

the masked person doesn't seem so scary anymore

not beside him

«Because nothing's on my mind.»

the sun smiles at me

for the first time since i remained alone

a path of death and loss behind me

i am

warm

Little explanation time, with a lot of spoilers, lmao.

The masked guy is "Skully" and the whole fic happens after Issue 3.

I think that the order of the issues is 1, 2, 3.5, 3 and 4, and I think Issue 3.5 happens before Issue 3 becsuse in Issue 3.5, Skully "absorbs" Jay and Alex, and shows their faces to Jessica in Issue 3.

I also don't think Skully "absorbs" Brian. Brian says he had escaped the Ark multiple times, leaving behind pieces of himself, and Skully clearly asks him "help us". Skully doesn't show Jessica Brian's face, also.

With all the worry and concern Brian showed towards Tim, I wanted to write what I'd love to see: Brian looking for Tim with Skully's help, and finding him. I just did that from a dissociated, broken Tim's pov. Or at least I tried to.

#RedactedWrites #marble hornets #marblehornets #fanfiction #marble hornets fanfic #tim wright #brian thomas #skully #tim marble hornets #tim masky #brian marble hornets #brian hoodie #skully marble hornets #marble hornets comic #mh fanfics #brim ship #marble hornets brim #can be read as a shippy thing i guess

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lara-prisma-avm-ask-blog · 2 years ago

Text

Stickronpa Chapter 2 Post Circular Trial

-We all stared at the monitor in front of us, seeing the bright colors celebrating our correct choice.-

Monostick:"Congratulations!! You voted correctly!! The culprit was Night! The Ultimate Spy, or rather... The Ultimate Dragon Guardian!!"

-I looked at Night who was covering her mouth, laying her forehead on the monitor with her hands around her head.-

-I felt so bad and uncomfortable, as if I had condemned an innocent person...-

???:"GAAAAARRRH!!!!"

I heard a scream and turned towards it.-

Red:"NO!!!! NO NO NO!!! IS NOT TRUE!!! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, I DID!!! IS MY FAULT!!!"

Yellow:"R-Red!?"

Red:"NIGHT, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! THERE MUST BE A WAY FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR BROTHER AGAIN!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE HIM!!!"

Night:"Red... Darling, there's no way to save me... I killed... I put you in danger... I didn't... I just didn't want you to be in my place..."

Blue:"Ultimate Guardian Dragon...?"

Dusk:"Guardian...hun?"

Yellow:"Red..."

Night:"I'm sorry.... To all of you...."

Red:"....."

Indigo:"And then? You will be executed. How do you feel?"

Orange:"seriously? How can you be so heartless??"

Indigo:"I'm thinking about my child, I don't want a... Whatever she is, around Purple!"

Orange:"Hump, like you care about them now!"

Indigo:"And what do you know about taking care of a child??"

Orange:"MUCH MORE THAN YOU!!!"

-Orange si move away from indigo.-

Purple:"....."

Blue:"Red... Are you okay...?"

Monostick:"nope! He's not!"

Yellow:"And how do you know?"

Monostick:"Simple! He voted for himself!"

-We all went into shock and stared at Red who was staring at the floor.... Red... why...?-

Red:"It's not fair... She deserves so much more!! She has to go back to her brother!!"

-He wouldn't stop crying.-

Night:"Red...."

Night:"You are very kind.... Your friends have already lost someone, I would never forgive myself if they lost one more of them... they love you so much..."

Red:"N-Night...."

Night:"You remind me so much of my little brother..."

-Red wraps his arms around her.-

Monostick:"Woooon, how cute... But, you guys are going to have some extra time together!"

Red:"S-seriously!?"

Monostick:"Yup! In the end...."

-They opened a huge smile...-

Monostick:"You voted incorrectly.... So you need to be punished...."

-Red's eyes widen in seconds as he walks away.-

Blue:"WHAT!?! NO FUCKING!!! DON'T GO NEAR HIM YOU BRAT!!!"

-Blue tried to walk but it looks like his paralysis has kicked in again. He almost fell to the ground but is held by Yellow.-

Monostick:"Don't worry, if everything goes well... Only one of them will come out unscathed..."

Blue:"y-you..."

Monostick:"Now..."

-They snap their fingers and in seconds several copies of him appear and grab Red by the arms and take him away from Night.-

Second:"Red!! RED!!!"

-I ran towards him but the copies pushed me away from him knocking me against my podium and leaving me with a pain in my chest.-

Night:"SEC!! RED!! GAAAARR!!!!"

-In seconds, Night started to roar, scales grew from her neck to her face, from her back wings started to appear, tearing her coat from which she took it, and her hands became claws.-

Night:"LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!"

Monostick:"I have prepared a very special punishment for the Ultimate Night Dragon Guardian!"

Second:"R-Red....."

Monostick:"Let's give everything we have!"

Second:"P-please..."

Monostick:"IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!!!"

Second:"SAVE HIM!!!!"

[TW: Blood, Impalement, Death]

-......-

-no...... No no no NO!!!-

-monostick untied Red and brought him back here... he was surrounded by blood and was paralyzed in shock.-

Monostick:"HAHAHAHAHA!!! Is this not exciting??? The feeling of despair is so much that I'm going crazy!!!"

Second:"RED!!!"

-We all ran to Red who didn't answer, just stared at the ground with an empty look full of tears.-

Blue:"Red! Are you listening to us?? Are you ok???"

-Purple took a look at Red and saw that he had scratches and marks from the strings, but other than that he was fine...-

Orange:"You are insane!!"

Monostick:"Well, you guys are overreacting! He'll be fine! It's not my dear fault and he chose to kill someone, it went wrong and someone else had to finish the job!"

Dark:"And I thought I was a psychopath...."

Indigo:"Enough, now let's get down to what's really important.... Who is the traitor??"

Blue:"Traitor? Who cares...? I DON'T CARE!!! I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS SUFFERING!!! AND YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO WORKS FOR MONOSTICK???"

Freedom:"Whoever the traitor is, they must know who the mastermind is."

Dusk:"Exactly, but I don't think Monostick is going to tell us who's responsible for them, is that right?"

Monostick:"Puhuhuhu... Correct little friend! You are so smart and special! I won't tell unless my creator wants me to! But anyway, it's getting dark, the run is over, I have to clean up All before tomorrow! Then they are free to go!"

-And so they dismiss us by sending us to the elevator. Orange had to carry Red and Blue had help from Yellow.-

Second:"Ahrg..."

Yellow:"Sec..?"

Second:"I-I'm coming Yell, you can go ahead..."

-They go to the elevator and go up first while I stay behind staring at the floor...-

-...Night.....-

-She was like a sister to all of us... Especially to Red...-

-Arg... And why do I feel this pain in my chest...?-

Chosen:"Second, can I talk to you?"

Second:"A-ah! C-chosen? yes, o-of course!"

-He helped me keep my posture.-

Chosen:"Second... do you remember the day we met...?"

Second:"Oh..."

-We met in a day when I Dark was still evil.-

-He sent a virus to Alan's PC that almost destroyed the computer and my friends...-

-Chosen then appeared and destroyed the virus, but had to go back to face the Dark Lord.-

-I.... I can't forget that day....-

-I almost... I almost lost my friends..-

-but.... I don't remember the rest... or... at least I don't want to remember.....-

Second:"....y-yes....."

Chosen:"So you remember defeating the Dark... do you?"

Second:"........"

Chosen:"Sec, I saw how strong you are... And I have to confess this but... Since I woke up in this place, my powers don't work. I don't know why, but Dark also suffered the same, he can't use his powers."

Second:"Why are you talking to me about this...?"

Chosen:"Sec... Not three were made by the same creator. It means that our powers are equally strong, but you clearly don't use them... That was your first time, wasn't it...?"

Second:"......"

Chosen:"Ok.... When we get out of here, I'll help you use your powers..."

Second:"Han!?"

Chosen:"Let's promise this, let's take care of each other while we're here, okay?"

Second:"....... Ok....."

-He smiled at me and placed his hand on my shoulder. He went with me to the elevator, Dark was there waiting for us.-

Dark:"...."

Second:"......."

Dark:"..... I'm Sorry......"

Second:"Han..?"

-Dark entered the elevator without saying anything else and without even looking at me.-

-As the elevator closed I just stared at my chest. I could still feel that pain....-

—

???:"......."

???:"You..... You told them!! And our agreement???"

???:"What about it?"

???:"What!? You promised me, that if I followed your orders, you would give me what I want!!"

???:"yes, but at the same time I have the right to do whatever I want in MY game."

???:"......."

???:"What is it now?"

???:"You said I would see the result of your new world.... But so far you haven't shown me anything!!"

???:"Why would I do that..?"

???:"!?"

???:"I'll tell you something.... The world is imperfect, so imperfect that only the chosen ones can survive in it. And you're just a pawn to MY perfect world."

???:"......."

???:"Now... I'm having second thoughts about your position... Your "shadow" seems much more interested in helping me than you are.... Am I right Monostick?"

Monostick:"Yes Master!!"

???:"Our goal is to find the most perfect sitickfigures among all those present in my game... Among them... I want ONE..."

???:"......"

Monostick:"They are great on trial!! They sorted it out! But master, I feel very bored!! Can we do something more exciting for the next case??"

???:"Yes, my dear creation... Are you having fun..?"

Monostick:"Yes! I'm just a little bored, I want more fun! More blood! More despair..."

???:"Take it easy... You'll have your fun soon..."

???:"......"

???:"What are you still doing here? Go! Before I take you out myself!"

*SNAP*

???:"Y-yes mastermind!!"

Monostick:"Bye bye... Freedom Guy...."

???:"........"

Freedom:"...... That will not remain like this....."

???:"......"

Monostick:"hehehe...."

—

[End of Chapter 2]

[As I mentioned before, this chapter was really bad. I might be going to fix the problems with it, but right now I just want to take a break. Chapter 3 will start soon, but right now I need a break, besides the fact that I don't have much idea what to do with the next chapter or intermission. Any form of help will be appreciated. Thanks for continuing to read this project, honestly I didn't expect a lot of people to like this, but thanks for the support!Until the next chapter then.^-^]

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