#like i'm not even fucking joking it's insane
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JJ fic. I'm thinking sweet smut. Like almost goofy because that's just who he is, rarely super serious. And he and reader just know each other so well that things can be goofy, even during sex and neither of them care. Unprotected (if you're good with that). Then maybe reader finds out she's pregnant. Worried to tell JJ. But he's so thrilled.
bf!jj
a/n: I loveeed this ask
warnings: smut, pregnancy, unprotected s3x (wrap it pookies), brain rot.
“Have you got a condom?” As soon as the words leave your mouth the blonde, that’s on top of you, head pops up. He looks at you slightly confused. His hands stoping the rubbing against your lacy panties.
“I thought you were bringing them?” JJ says, his blue eyes looking into yours as he suddenly remembers.
He was supposed to bring them.
“Fuck sake.” He sighs as he runs his head, this isn’t the first time he’s had to run out and buy them during this intimate moments. He just a forgetful guy.
“Fuck it.” You say, not even thinking about it twice. You need this. He’s been touching you for too long. “You’ve been edging me f-“
“Edging.” He cuts off with a little snort and a smile. He’s so unserious it’s insane.
“Stop.”
“Sorry.”
You look up at him and lean up, pressing your soft lips against his. Slowly his slips his tongue into your mouth as his hands continue to touch, rub and caress you. He’s being soft today.
But the way he’s fiddling with the zipper of his jeans is not soft nor slow. Of course it gets stuck, and he’s just there trying to rip it open. Trying to unjam it with some huffs and puffs.
While he’s doing that you’re pulling down your panties, the fold air against your core making you flinch a bit. Before you lay back down and he lays back on top of you.
“Are you sure?” He asks as he looks at you. This isn’t the first time you’ve done it without protection but every time he checks. Make sure you’re certain.
“Yes.” You say with a nod of your head. You just can’t wait any longer.
Slowly JJ enters your cunt, your tight walls sucking him in as you let at a moan. JJ jokes about his size to everyone. Saying how big he is. But they weren’t jokes.
“Fuck mama. So tight.” He says before placing a kiss on your neck. His thrusts picking up. His hand coming to your neck, not to choke you. But to make it easier to pick up his speed. “Such a good girl.”
Your walls clench around him as your eyes screw shut. Whimpers filling the space of your bedroom.
“Please don’t stop.” You breathe out as you instinctively grab onto the duvet, knuckles turning white as you look at him. His stupid face smirking down at you before reattaching to your neck.
His face practically lives there now. Hes always kissing and sucking on your neck.
JJ’s free hand slips between your legs and starts rubbing. Rubbing that sensitive bud of yours. His cock twitching inside your pussy.
It doesn’t take long for both you and JJ to cum. His thrust slowing down as he looks at you.
Both of you panting before the blonde just has to open his stupid mouth.
“That was so skibidi.”
“Oh my god.”
You can’t believe it.
‘This can’t be real.’ You think to yourself as you look at those two lines. The two lines that can either be a blessing or a curse.
You don’t know how long you’ve been sat on the bath mat of your bathroom. I mean you can’t have a baby. Can you? You’re only eighteen living at your parents house dating a guy who only recently learnt the difference between there, their and they’re.
You can’t be parents.
You just can’t.
“Baby I’m here to hang.” The sound interrupts your thoughts. the very guy you were just thinking about. Knocking a tune on your bathroom door.
You sniff and dry your eyes, trying to get rid of any sign that you were crying.
But JJ heard everything.
“Hey, yn? You okay?” His concern is evident in his tone. He cares about you more than you’d ever know.
The bathroom door slowly opens and your eyes meet the blondes. Slowly making his way to you, crouching down and placing his hands on your knees. You’re silent. You can’t speak. Don’t know what to say if you were to open your mouth.
So you just hold the test.
JJ’s eyes follow your gaze to the test. His breath catching in the back of his throat.
You want to know how he feels, is he angry? Upset? Disappointed?
Actually he’s none of them.
“I’m going to be a dad?” He says excitedly. Immediately you look at him. Shocked by this response. He’s happy?
“Yeah.” You say quietly.
“I’m going to be a dad!” He says louder and takes off his hat before standing up. Pacing the bathroom and smiling. Yapping about all the things he’s going to do. How excited he is to have a child.
You should’ve never been worried. You’re going to be parents.
#jj maybank x you#jj obx imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj outer banks#outer banks jj#jj x reader#jj scenarios#jj maybank#jj obx#jj#jj mayback imagine#jj mayback x reader#obx fanfiction#obx#outer banks#jj smut#jj maybank scenarios#jj maybank smut
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Gus is so bisexual trangender to me but he calls himself cis (he isn't)
he's so silly like that. he's such a creature to me. i love him
#my favorite piece of psych trivia is that carlton lassiter is CANONICALLY pansexual#AND he CANONICALLY has lesbian parents#like i'm not even fucking joking it's insane#i honestly wish i was#i wish i was fucking joking#i'm not
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A little different than last year's, but here we are again. To say that this past year hasn't been absolutely wild would be a lie, cause HOLY SHIT MAN
This year's birthday is. A little different for me, but you already have the silly comic to show that so I won't make like a broken record oops
But, despite the changes and hills that life's decided I should climb or throw at, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm so genuinely fucking thankful to the people that I've known since joining this fandom. I'm not even kidding when I say that being here has actually changed my life for the better. I know I said something similar last year, but this time, hoo boy it sure turned up the AMP and test how far I could go.
So, to everyone, both new and old; thank you for being here :D
@garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @smoljeanius @bunmuffin @skizabaa
@tuzesdays @sleepykas @fernzwing @kandidandi @starsketchez
@just-a-drawing-bean @notdysfunk @ilsole @amberluvsbugs @cloudyvoid
@nomsthecat @alfinefalf @nosleepygay @theblog-with-thestuff
@cacaocheri
(Edit: ty kibbits for informing me of the. Fuck ass tagging system)
AND TAGGING OTHERS BECAUSE. POINTS. BONKS WITH HEAD. GETTING TO EITHER INTERACT OR TALK OR WHATEVER IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT
@ohno-the-sun @kibbits @ink-yy @saltyfryz @kaprisvn
@hierba-picante @sunny-sophies-garden @cookiiemancer @sneeblbop @justaduckarts
@pepethehumanz @crystalmagpie447 @woolysstuff @mocha-illustrates @duhsty1
@sanchensky @pillowspace @victarin @witherfide
[I DEFINITELY GOT SONAS WRONG AND THESE AREN'T ALL THE SILLY PEOPLE I KNOW BUT IM SITTING HERE AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING JUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE IN SPIRIT HANDING YOU ALL POPTARTS WAUGH]
#nebula art and doodles#should. i even count it as that-#nebula birthday time#fuck it birthday tag go brrr#also if i. didnt tag you it is 100% because i'm. a fucking coward <33 and am not sure if you'd like to be tagged in a silly thing like this#(or i don't. know you. that also but shaky thumbs up)#god. this year has been. insane dawg#my goofy ass going through canon events like it's a buffet /silly#jokes aside#the fact that im still like. here. right here#posting or reblogging goofy shit#still in the process of making my fic (i prommy im working on it)#and just. managing to make friends with people despite shit happening#it's so wild to me#i know for some people i've tagged we either haven't talked that much or haven't talked in awhile#and to that i say#fuck it we ball /j#but seriously it's. honestly bc getting to interact with you guys at all makes or has made my day that much brighter#even if it's been awhile like i mentioned or for whatever reason#this is. getting long as hell and i need to go to bed oops#anywhooooo#gotta go fast or some shit#OH- and thank you all so much for. almost 3k. holy shit#where the fuck did you all COME FROM HOW DID WE GET HERE#big heart emojis and sending love to you all#thank you so much
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guys please tell me those batman #148 leaks of jason dying again are fake. tell me they're fake right fucking now i can't fucking do this shit right now i'm off my meds
#this better be bait or i swear to fucking god#i saw those 10 mins ago and i feel like i'm gonna die my heart is racing my hands are shaking my head hurts and i feel like committing crim#i'm too mentally ill for this#i wish this was a joke but i feel very dizzy as i type this and i can feel my heart beating on my throat#i will commit murder.#i hope from the bottom of my heart this is some fear toxin shenanigan bc even if i'm tired of writers making his death his only trait#i cannot handle if it's him actually dying again.#part of me knows dc would have to be very fucking stupid to kill jason again but it's fucking dc and they hate him so everything is possibl#there's things that could mean it's fake like he seems younger and he's in robin uniform for some fucking reason but god does it hurt#i'm trying not to freak out but there's that thing that your brain can't tell the difference between fiction and reality so i'm going insan#chat pray for me#i'm a fucking atheist but please pray for me#i think i'm going into cardiac arrest#jason todd#batman 148
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Hey did I ever tell y'all about the time I dreamed that I had a baby daughter called Ellie that began with my finding out I was pregnant and ended on like her third birthday?
I legitimately woke up thinking "I should go check on Ellie" and then realised she was never real and when I tell you I SOBBED. I've been haunted by an implacable sense of loss ever since. Did I travel to another dimension? Wtf happened because that was insane.
#I'm not even joking when I say it felt REAL#I have this baby doll (it was my mum's when she was a kid and I have it now) that sometimes I just hold and it makes me feel better???#Did I astral project into another life?????#Was it just a really fucking intense fever dream??????#For the record I was like fifteen I have never even done the do let alone had a pregnancy scare#But yeah my little Ellie#And she never fuckin existed#I woke up halfway through planning her birthday party like baking a cake or sm and I was thinking#“I'll give her the little green cardigan I knitted”#Woke up to a silent house and was like “she's never usually quiet this time in the morning”#Then realised what had happened and started CRYING#idk man it's insane#From a psychological point of view it's fascinating but I've tried and tried to analyse the dream and?????#I always come up with something different???? I can't pinpoint the actual cause and effect of the whole thing?????#Madness honestly#And it was just a normal day too nothing weird had happened it wasn't a coma and I wasn't knocked out it was just a Dream#A very very real one#For the record I don't think Ellie had a father#I think it was just an immaculate conception that nobody ever questioned#Might have been IVF now I think about it#That would make more sense#dream#weird dreams#Ig I should add a grief trigger warning???#tw grief#one time i dreamt#Very confused and it's been like two years so wtf yeah that was... Intense#The most dream of all time#Maybe I'm just fucking insane lol but yeah
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After careful thought...
I am now convinced RVB is, in a nutshell at its core, two twenty year long dimetric slowburn romance tropes comprised of viewing each from the lens of 'I'd die for you/I'd live for you' while accounting for the repercussions of those choices on the lives of those around them while also examining at the same time the 'Inability to let go/ever start' and how it ultimately locks your mind in a perpetual state of 'What if?' without taking the risk of DOING all by asking the simple fucking question
Ever wonder why we're here?
#But with Space Marines and War and PTSD#RvB#Chex#Grimmons#I'm mostly being silly about this#but i mean.... I don't think I'm technically wrong#Obvi there's a whole hell of a lot more#but eh just trying to joke a little here#But HOLY HELL Binging this show in three days was insane#I'd watched it ages ago up to like S10 but this time I went through ever season and damn it's just... become something so much MORE#Church#Tex#Griff#Simmons#I have a lot of feels for these dumb fucks#I hate 19 is the end... feels so off... wish they could have done an even 20.#I also don't buy this whole retcon thing... like... it makes no sense#but that's another post entirely#Red vs Blue#ps Church and Griff are pretty much the same brand of asshole and I think that's why they are my favs... Ngl
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no ok we finished episode 2 what they have done to katara is unforgivable. they have completed zapped every ounce of her personality away. why. why. look how they massacred my girl
#i haven't even GOTTEN to azula mai and ty lee i'm scared#why the hell they're even IN season 1 is beyond me but whatever#i cannot fucking believe the amount of exposition dumping. did a 10 year old write this#this actually would be a very good lesson for young beginner writers actually#if someone's like 'i don't really get the show don't tell rule' show them this. then show them the cartoon. THAT is show don't tell#all. they. do. is. TELL. it's INSANE#zuko is the best actor at least but that's kind of like winning a game of chess against a broom#it's statistically impossible that they could only find ONE actor who can deliver a line competently. it's impossible#i delivered better lines pretending to earth bend w my sister at age 7#i'm so confused about katara though.#like yeah the 'sokka can't be sexist that's problematic (that was the entire point)' is stupid#but that is at least AN explanation for why he's different. why on earth would you make katara like that#i can't even make an ember island players joke. at least their katara showed emotion???#really fun hate watch to do w other avatar fans 10/10 recommend#when gran gran started saying the intro and it was so awkward jdskfjdsfldsjfslkfjlkfs i was LOSING IT
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the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.
And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)
#fans don't look#anti netflixvania#something something the fiction doesn't fall from the peak#increibl how that scene is the only reference to lenore's betrayal in s4 and it's written like cute flirting. human psychology whomst#also lmao i didn't mean to take a screenshot of lenore's face on that frame#she looks affronted that hector is even remotely calling her out for raping him - the *nerve* of him am i right?#yeah i sure find her lovable and sympathetic :) i fully understand why the shippers believe she cares so much about him :)#she matches sonic's condescending mug and 'well achskually' face as he's painting his best friend like an idiot when he was the dumbass#i'm still so damn bitter that the story ignored sonic letting metal go out of ~vibes~ but beat a dead horse in the form of mr. tinker#guys. sonic nearly caused the end of the world because he decided metal had agency. not because he didn't kill an innocent man. fuck.#how dare you mock me like this - and this goes for both now#am's speech is not enough i need to kill#(btw i'm not joking about the flow. there's a version of the nfcv scene that completely cuts this exchange for reasons i don't understand)#(the dialogue flows much better because it focuses on the subject that is carmilla's insanity)#(so now that 'you were having fun' feels even more mocking because the dialogue was interrupted for the sake of random rape apologism)#(remind me why these products are so beloved?)
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that's all that you are.
#art#illustration#artists on tumblr#fall out boy#youngblood chronicles#young blood chronicles#ybctrick#patrick stump#fob#hey so drawing this literally broke my tablet#i'm not even joking#i looked away for two seconds and my screen broke#nothing even happened#but i didn't wanna lose this#so i drew this with a broken screen#idk how to explain it was like my screen has duplicated and moved up a bit#annoying as fuck#but i did it#for ybctrick#i love you ybctrick#I'M SO INSANE ABOUT HIM#he has me kicking my feet but not in a i have a crush on him way#i do tho#but in a way full of rage i literally am going insane#i accidentally punched my wall earlier#there's some tiny details here only i would get#please appreciate#i actually cried over this#i love ybctrick
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Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)
I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭
#I swear to god some people in this community#just say ‘cover them up whore’ like a normal sexist does#also people who targeted the sables because of their bathing suit outfit and then others saying it’s fine to do that#because of what she’s wearing… do you not hear yourselves?!#purity culture will be the death of us all#and then when you play sable because you look and dress like her and then people say whoever plays her is a ‘gooner’#get off the fucking internet and talk to an actual alt woman#(this is low key a vague post about someone streaming with their friends and making fun of the sable that joined the three of them because#she had the bathing suit skin on and they were saying shit like ‘what a normal amount of clothing you have’ and the whole chat joined in.#it was the first game and I literally couldn’t watch them after that because it just made me so mad. YOU DON’T KNOW WHO’S BEHIND THE SCREEN#for all you know it’s just an alt woman who likes the outfit and your making fun of her because you think skin = sex = gooner which says a#hella lot about YOU more than the person playing her. if you know who I'm vauging about don't be a dick and harass them or send this to the#I was so mad that I just closed the stream and reblogged sable pictures because this hate against her so fucking insane.#I'm not trying to start drama. I'm just tired of this bullshit. I don't think they knew how insensitive stuff like what they were saying is#(even though they really should have; they're an adult and their words having meaning and they clearly have a young fanbase that looks up#them so they should be more careful about the shit they say) but I'm not here to try to fight anyone. I'm just furious about#constantly having to point out how fucking stupid this is and how it's rooted in sexism and purity culture.#when you say this shit you're not just 'making fun of a character'. you're indirectly making fun of alt women who dress less conservatively#you are indirectly shaming a group of people who already have to deal with prejudice outside of your 'jokes')#I love how misogyny and sexism is such a funny joke to these guys (no I don't)#I’m so fucking sick of how this community treats alt women#(speaking as an alt fashion afab person myself)#anyway. I'm just going to eat my dinner in silence.#nah who am I kidding I'm pulling up [popular 90s anime magical girl show staring 'rabbit' whose tag I don't want this to go to]#dead by daylight#dbd#rant#mint mumbles
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was about to lowkey pat myself on the back for having the most liked playlist for Big Red (YuuriVoice) on Spotify but. after further searching i believe it may be the only Big Red (YuuriVoice) playlist on Spotify 😭
#Seven.txt#yuurivoice#music stuff#rp audio stuff#(might as well go ahead and make a tag for it with how much i've been posting abt it lately)#what is a win when there is no competition#(that is a Joke i do not consider playlist making to be a competition. i am Truly Shocked that anyone likes any of my playlists)#like my music taste is awful! i made those playlists to please my own taste why r u guys even here#*looks at my Dark Mode Alphonse playlist with 150+ likes* WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE#but like. that is so funny to me#am i just not finding the other Big Red playlists or am i the only person insane enough abt him to make a playlist#where's that 'if x has 1 million fans meme'#If Big Red has 1 fan‚ that one is me#and the 42 ppl that liked the playlist lmao#If Big Red has 43 fans-#okay i'm done joking around#i'm supposed to be drafting up a fic for a completely different character to post rn but i'm fucking around on Spotify instead. whoops#like sorry but the Big Red audio on Patreon yesterday hit me in the heart and got the brainworms wiggling again#me when a character i love cries for the first time: YESSS YESYESYES GIVE ME THE EMOTION GIVE ME THE VULNERABILITY OPEN UP TO ME I LOVE YOU
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hybe calling woongki slurs is so crazy...
#woongki is one of my fav people on this earth I'm so real about it#like I cannot begin to express my admiration for him I love him so bad#hybe actually should be scared of him coz there has never been a person more capable of thriving in that industry than woongki#woongkis been thru Shit everywhere he goes and gets so much love and support no matter what because he's so genuine and a true talent like.#the slur on its own is crazy but to use it for woongki and not recognising how fucking talented he is is just embarrassing#like yeah he's femme? and he organised and sold out multiple days of his own fanmeets without a company............#like he is a force to be reckoned with to even try sum him up with a slur is so insane and embarrassing .....#like it's giving 'he's a fag so we don't need to worry about him' like no u should worry he could take any of your jobs fr#he could be hybe ceo and raise sales like I'm not even joking he could do it
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flashbacks to dialogue that happened less than a minute ago are annoying and a little insulting for obvious reasons, unless it's in bad buddy episode 5 [2/4] and pat is having entirely serious sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago while almost shoving a set of drumsticks he hasn't even paid for yet up his nose. then it's brilliant and world changing
#don't mind me i'm just chewing glass today#when the architecture band starts playing at freshy day and ink says to pat hey isn't that the song you two played that christmas?#it's like yeah... but that's a maddeningly casual way to refer to an event that in the context of the series wide metaphor#is really more like their parents caught them making out in a closet. and then pran got sent to boarding school over it#and NOW pran is up there on stage playing that same song again. looking right at pat when he announces it. but plaYING IT with WAI#and not intentionally. not in a mean sort of way. because pran doesn't know#he doesn't KNOW that pat's been shoving drumsticks up his nose while being struck cold by Love Signs#because how could he. all he knows is that very recently pat was sighing in relief that pran isn't his rival for ink. because pat likes ink#pran does NOT know that in the (very short. more than fifty seconds but still very short) meantime#pat has tried to figure out if ink might like him back. pat has in the process accidentally figured out that HE might like pran#AND pat has tried to confess his feelings to ink only for her to go. very kindly. are you sure you like me that way? i don't think you do#(because he's the wrONG SIBLING. she likes the OTHER SIBLING. which is hilarious but a different thing to go insane over)#and it's like. pran doesn't know!!! pran is just having a day like any other. pran has Known forever#he doesn't KNOW that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars (it's essentially a gay bar. don't even get me started)#(because that's a joke but it's also not. not really. it is but it's not. you know)#!! that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars. pat is suddenly going OH. in sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago#when they were ALSO standing there surrounded by guitars btw. which is the point. nothing has changed but maybe everything has#it's the same thing it was fifty seconds ago but maybe it's not. maybe pat suddenly hears the music that's been playing forever#and maybe this is way too many fucking tags. i don't even think this is the glass i was chewing originally#*#bad buddy#bad buddy the series
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Things are in store. Things are going to happen.
#I'm going to make a general tullius art doll#talking#I'm going to sculpt the face and hands#might do the arms too? but im not sure#the armour is the scariest part because I'm not sure how to achieve it#but i know how to find out#i have the yarn for his hair already#tbh if it comes down to it i can always just give him “casual clothing” but id rather have him look like. yk. him#idk im insane and tired#none of you know that girlboy like i do okay.#the sooner we all accept that the better 🫶#anyways the reason I'm not gonna do multiple outfits is because these dolls are art pieces and usually pretty fragile#changing clothes isn't as easy as on a normal doll meant for play#and it would be a LOTTT more work for me#if it goes well I'll make an ulfric#but he would be even more complicated i fear?#or maybe less. maybe i should be buying materials for both of them#idk idkkk#once they're done im going to put them in a jar#half joking idk#god im so fucking funny#I CAN MAKE TULLIUS MEET HATSUNE MIKU#i have a Miku figure that my other art doll has already met#the other one i used airdry clay for the head#DO NOT RECOMMEND. i hate air dry clay#i might actually decapitate him and redo the head tbh#we will see!
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#okay i did not have to edit this one. score#shiftry#anyway i really don't like this pokémon or anything about it. SORRY but it's true it's really ugly and its mouth and the nose#and it has the same things i don't like about it that i talked about with nuzleaf. i just don't get it but this time it wasn't in psmd#so i'm not attached to it just by virtue of that. and well. that contributes to me not really liking it i suppose#ahh well. better luck next time TPC you can make a good grass/dark-type eventually (it's meowscarada) (it took 6 generations)#hi it's me from two weeks later like the actual day this post is going to post. i came back to edit the tags so i could respond to some#comments. crazy‚ i know! but i saw the tags on this one were a bit short so let's beef 'em up. the nuzleaf post got some comments#about the whole prosthetic memory thing. where i set reminders on my phone to do shit or else i will not do the shit#i literally have a reminder set for 2:30 PM today to eat food. or else i won't even do that i bet#and folks are saying it's a common ADHD experience and that i'm not a fail and i do appreciate it. i think i was joking a bit#i was probably just frustrated i had to edit the image after taking it but the gist is. i don't *think* i have ADHD? i do have autism#which i suspected for a loooooong while until i finally up and got diagnosed when i was fucking 21 years old. which is insane. so i wonder#if that's an experience that overlaps. i imagine it is bc they proooobably would've been able to tell me if i had ADHD‚ too#okay. i moved these tags over here from nosepass‚ actually‚ which is the pokémon i just queued up. so i'm gonna go remove them from there#see you in street fighter five everybody
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and I'm having thoughts again
so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].
like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.
#one thought that I had when my brain stopped just loudly screaming at me was#oh I totally always think I wouldn't ever end up in a cult. because it's not something that would appeal to me and shit. I'm suspicious of#anything like that. one person claiming to know everything and all that#and it just hit me like. DUDE. you would absolutely 100% end up in a cult if the right guy was leading it#like if he had a cult that I could join right now? oh dude I'd be so in. kinda joking but also like. come on I am so fucking obsessive I#would absolutely fall for that#(and lets not even get into the whole thing of actually getting attention from the person I'd be obsessed with. oh it'd be bad. it'd fuck#me up. I'd be so easy to convince if we're being honest....)#but anyway I just. I don't know#honestly though? I just love studying one person at a time from afar like. hi I would immediately explode if I ever met this man I could not#handle it. but I can absolutely find out everything I can about him and study him like. something that normal people would study idk I'm#insane.#anyway man that was a weird tangent#true tho.#I don't want to make light of actual addictions like alcoholism. I'm not. addicted I guess. but I'm absolutely fucking obsessive about shit#and I absolutely know it cannot be healthy to keep doing this#like dude you have no life because all you do is watch other people live theirs. why am I studying this man's life like it matters. it's not#making anything better. knowing every damn thing he did in the 80s will not make up for the fact that I don't have. anything.#fuck now I'm really crying oh well this really took a weird turn#fuuuuck.#personal
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