#like i was looking at the album art like wait yep they absolutely did it again that is an E X O if you Really squint

[all-of-the-good-ones-are-taken]

EXO (엑소) | Runaway (2021)

[neutron-stars-collision]

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 21 - Losing My Religion

Masterlist; Chapter 20

Summary: After Tallinn, you use the opportunity and visit Neil’s apartment. What you find there, only increases the confusion, just as the pieces are set for the endgame.

Warnings: Swearing; angst.

Author’s Notes: This was a challenge, and it’s a little different too, a breather before the real fun begins... or something. After this we move onto the icebreaker... (and things). I’ll shut up now, hope you’ll enjoy and all kind of feedback are greatly welcomed! 

The clean up after TP’s little accident on the highway was difficult. And tiring. By the time you have dealt with the mess and could call it a day, you wanted nothing but to sleep. And also disappear from the face of the Earth. That second thing was rather tricky to achieve. Unfortunately. You had to settle for the slightly awkward space given by the rest of the team and the fact that you were bound to return to London the next day. That was something. Even if it meant having to debate whether those damned keys were to be used.

The journey back was uneventful. Only Wheeler seemed capable of talking to you without looking as though she has been trapped in some metaphorical web of ineptitude that the others got caught in. That was alright. At least she knew how that conversation in the container went. Her company was good enough to keep you from going insane for the time being.

The moment the car arrived at the London quarters, you practically bolted out through the door. Eager to finally have your own space to reflect, cry, and try to move on after the unimaginable. But it was not exactly meant to be given…

“Y/N, wait!” Ives’ voice rung out through the reception hall as you skidded down the corridor.

Crap.

“Yeah?” cautiously, you stopped in your tracks, facing the squad leader.

Making the mistake of glancing at the reception desk, you met Anna’s watchful gaze. Of course. Even though you knew she had no clue about anything that transpired between you and Neil, it still felt like a painful reminder.

“I…uh...” the hesitation in Ives’ voice made you frown, “I just got this, and I’m not sure…” he passed you his phone with a strange expression on his face.

A text from TP. Just like the ones you received before. Right… This one had a familiarly succinct form: “Invert for eight days with the army from tomorrow. Then get to Trondheim, awaiting further instructions”

“Is this from him?” you looked up to see the blue eyes boring into yours with confusion.

“Yeah, it must be” you nodded and handed him back the phone.

At that exact moment, you got a text as well. Hurriedly you took out the device and read the message:

“Invert along with Ives and the rest”.

Short and simple. Yet not at all. Without a word, you showed your companion the text message and stifled a heavy sigh. Inversion. Eight days. Trondheim. That most likely confirmed your worst fears. The end of it all was near, and you were needed there. You, Neil, and everyone else still had their parts to play in the most important of showdowns.

“So, I guess we’re going back” you could feel Ives’ inquisitive stare on you ���Just like they are” he added, awaiting a response.

Meeting Neil after those eight upcoming days sounded like a nightmare. Because a week was never enough to fall out of love. Or to even attempt it. You were a lost cause.

“…yep” nodding halfheartedly, you could feel another weight settle on your shoulders.

“Excited?” the intensity of Ives’ look convinced you towards his intentions.

Evidently, he tried to get a clue towards your state, probably assessing whether you could endanger the mission in any way. Despite everything, you were a professional. A Tenet agent. That had to come before any personal issues you might have had. Forcing a smile, you met his gaze with sincerity.

“Not really” a shrug completed the response.

But it was enough as he grinned back and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s alright. Have today off and be ready tomorrow morning,” he ordered with a feigned sternness.

“Aye aye, sir” you saluted, enjoying the laugh it prompted.

Maybe not everything was utterly shit.

“Your edge is still intact, I see,” he commented once the laughter died down.

“At least something is then” you grimaced slightly and walked off with a wave.

A day off. What could one possibly do with something like that after everything? The set of keys in your pocket felt heavy for something that small. And insignificant (in theory).

*** It took you one hour of staring at the wall, a thirty-minute-long shower, and two coffees to decide to make use of the keys. After all, what was the harm? It was a way of spending the idle hours. And maybe to understand him a little better. Even if it was too late to save anything. You wanted to know him. To know his mind and heart. You dug out the note with the address Ives gave you and typed it into the maps app. Your hands were shaking the whole journey. Even though it was not far, it turned out to be challenging. Often you were catching yourself glancing at the phone, expecting him to call or text as he always did.  But then you remembered, making the nerves come to the surface again. You wondered whether it was because of the absolute wreckage your relationship became or because you were unable to contact him in any way. Walking the streets leading to Neil’s apartment, you realised that it was probably both. You missed him. Simple as that. And equally complicated at the same time.

Google maps led you to an old docking space transformed into posh loft spaces in two store buildings of dark red brick. The residential area was completed with a large parking lot (full of rather good cars), making the first question of the day pop into your head: Did Neil have a private car? Something that unimportant yet entirely mundane only made you realise how little you knew of his life. But this was exactly why you came here. The second thought was something you always knew yet never took time to ponder on: the fact that he undeniably had money. It did not matter, of course. Just another fact that could as a trigger for the intrusive ideas to appear.

Ignoring the spiraling thoughts, you made your way to the indicated building, keying in the code at the door and following the stairs to the second floor. The apartment door no 4 looked like any other you have passed on the way. Turning the key in the lock, you took a deep breath, gathering courage for god knows what. Perhaps just being alone with everything that had to do with Neil… The door opened soundlessly. Faint daylight from the corridor fell onto the furniture and objects gathered in the hall, helping your eyes adjust to the darkness. You closed the door and locked it. The least you could have wanted was for someone to break in on your watch. Now that would have made him hate you. If he didn’t already, that is. Taking off the shoes, you scanned the hall. Hooks with various jackets and coats on the wall. Including a slightly weathered leather one that perked your interest. With fingers ghosting the material, you were unable to block the images of Neil wearing it. That was enough to make you blush and curse out loud. That won’t help with getting over him. As though that was even possible.

Next, your eyes landed on the shoes rack in the corner showing off Neil’s questionable taste in footwear. You grimaced when spotting another pair of brogues (that would have to go… if there was any future for you) and then smiled involuntarily at something as casual as old converse on the top shelf of the rack. So, he could dress more… normally. Interesting.

The rest of the space was filled with a large mirror and a cupboard full of random objects such as spare lightbulbs, shoe care products, and cleaning supplies. On top of that cupboard, there was a succulent (practical, you had to admit), a desk calendar, and a small notepad filled with Neil’s writing. The contents ranged from shopping lists to quantum physics, making you grin fondly when looking through the pages. The latest entry was written down in haste and barely eligible. What you deciphered made your heart stumble for the first time that day. It seemed like Neil was planning to invite you over after Tallinn, prepare dinner, and apparently do all that ‘he wanted to for a while’. Brilliant. The notepad fell from your hands as the implications dawned on you. He wanted to set everything straight, to talk and potentially tell you important things… But now, it did not matter. There was no post-Estonia. Just you alone in his cold, darkened apartment, full of doubts, regrets, and worries.

Shivering from both the chill and the anxiety, you ventured into the living room. It was an open space with a large leather sofa, TV, record player with shelves full of albums and vinyls. There were also bookcases filled to the brim and a dining table for four. Once your gaze fell onto the black piano in the corner, you did a double-take. Obviously, Neil was musically talented. All those times when he has been desperate to annoy you by singing various corny love songs in public were an indisputable example. A moment like that from Tallinn flashed before your eyes…

You and Neil sat in a restaurant on one of the ‘dates’ you had managed to fit into the schedule before TP arrived in Estonia. Cozied up in the corner on a comfortable sofa, you felt perfectly at peace. Instead of taking the seat opposite, Neil got as close as it was possible without raising eyebrows of the fine clientele. You were chatting about everything and nothing, occasionally taking sips of the coffees and letting your hands rest on each other’s knees. Other times they would be interlocked on the table between the plates, showing to the world that this was no platonic meetup. Using the natural break in the conversation, you finished the remains of your latte and watched as Neil focused on the radio somewhere in the background. By this point, you should have known better, but still, the second he started singing took you by surprise.

‘Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth No one could look as good as you, mercy’

His gaze settled on you without that mercy, awaiting a response. His lips curled into a deadly smirk, making the matters worse. For a moment, you wanted to ignore him, to deny him the satisfaction. But the way he stared, enunciating the song lyrics with precision and aiming them at you, triggered the familiar desire to stake your claim. To make him (and everyone else) understand that he was yours. Especially with a voice that beautiful and eyes that looked at you with boundless affection.

‘Pretty woman that you look lovely as can be Are you lonely just like me’

It was the cheesy growl at the end of that stanza that did it. Combined with the huskiness of Neil’s voice and his hand appearing on your thigh underneath the table, it was enough to convince you to shut him up the best way you knew. You leaned in, placing your palm on the inside of his thigh, just close enough to remind him. Capturing his lips in a kiss, you did not have to wait long for Neil to invite you closer. You began the intimate dance, getting lost in the moment entirely. With him being in public did not matter. Especially not when he was giving you everything he could on a silver plate. Those days every kiss threatened to evolve into a full make-out session as you tried to get ever closer to him. That is why when you heard an awkward cough followed by “Miss, Sir, I’m sorry, but I need to ask you to leave” you could only start laughing. That was two days before your walk, which ended in the alley. The rest was history.

Shaking your head slightly, you let go of the memory. Has it gotten even colder? Shivering, you spotted a sweater draped on the side of the sofa. Crossing the space, you glanced at the instrument that caught your attention. A simple black Kawai piano with a Chopin music score opened on the fallboard and the stool underneath. If there even was a future, you wanted to hear him play something. You could almost picture it. Those long, elegant fingers on the black and white keys, hitting every note with perfection and the flourish he applied to every single task. His gaze focused. Golden hair falling into his eyes carelessly. Lips parted, tongue poking out in concentration. He was bound to be a sight as usual.

Ignoring the waking up flutters that always accompanied every thought about Neil, you picked up the sweater. It was the colour of dark red wine, simple and yet sophisticated in its simplicity. Cashmere. He really is posh. Giving in to the sudden whimsy, you breathed in the smell. That was a mistake. The moment Neil’s essence overwhelmed your senses, you felt a surge of feelings. The musky scent, the hints of bergamot and lavender that always brought comfort. Before you could second guess everything, you put the sweater on, letting the smell envelope you like his hugs always did. It was another thing that you missed. The ability to rest within his strong embrace, safe and wanted. The feeling of his arms cradling you with care. Without the solidity beneath your hands, it was hard to remember how it felt. The sweater had to do. You rolled up the sleeves and approached the large window, drawing back the curtains to see the view and let in light. The sight certainly was not disappointing with the lookout on the Thames and the docking ships. The area looked peaceful, like the place you could want to go out on walks and spend the rest of your life… No, stop. That was a dangerous line of thinking. After all, you only came here to satisfy the curiosity. And because you could, with nothing left to lose. Well, maybe apart from your sanity.

With the day shedding some light onto the furniture and objects in the room, you could more closely assess the type of person Neil was. The décor was rather posh (nothing surprising there) with leather, dark wood, and refined fabrics gracing the space. But upon a closer look, you could see the hints of Neil’s personality shining through the bounds of the stereotypes. It was visible in the chaos of the little details. Billy Idol album discarded on the CD player making you smile. The dying plants on the windowsill. The opened book on the coffee table right next to a bar of chocolate and some bullets. What even… 

Looking around the space, you could easily picture him there. It was like entering a museum of Neil’s life and heart, and you were just a mere visitor. A trespasser even though you had the keys. Lost in the thoughts, you approached the bookshelves, looking over the titles. Young and Freedman’s University Physics with Modern Physics with a worn-out spine and a library stamp on the title page (a theft?). Griffith’s Introduction to Quantum Mechanics with scribbles on the margins, making your head hurt. More Quantum Mechanics but only getting increasingly complex. Spacetime and Geometry. In between the textbooks, there were classics of English and American literature, proving your theory that Neil knew the canon well. All those quotations had to come from somewhere… You looked over the further titles relating to the nuclear area of Physics and relativity of time, only to be thrown out of the moment when your eyes landed on a photograph in a wooden frame. A grinning young man with warm brown eyes and curly dark hair sat on the bench in the park. Alex. Picking up the photo, you took a closer look, feeling inexplicable heaviness in your chest. He looked just like Neil described him – an essence of goodness and understanding. The lump in our throat was strange. He still loved Alex that was a fact and something you took for granted. For a second, you wondered whether you could ever be half that important to him. But that was selfish. And wrong.

Swallowing hard, you put down the frame, focusing on another one nearby. In that photo, you recognized everyone. Ives with slightly longer hair grinning widely, next to him Wheeler with her practical bun and amused eyes, TP relaxed like always when in the company of friends. And then… You would recognize those eyes and sharp jaw anywhere, but… He’s not naturally blonde? You stared at the man who was undoubtedly Neil but with light brown hair, just as messy as usual. Interesting. You did suspect he dyed the hair but still having confirmation was unexpected. Staring a little longer at the photo, you already knew that it did not matter. He was a work of art, full stop. The rest of the photos depicted the Tenet crew, apart from the one you assumed was a family snapshot from years ago. Two happy boys with mundane looking parents and a Labrador retriever (Charlie!). Upon a closer look, you could tell that Neil got his blue eyes after his mother and the smile after his father. It was an interesting discovery. Other objects littering the shelves included postcards, trinkets from travels, and a strange collection of obscure coins. Also, more notebooks with Neil’s equations and theories and music scores. There was no order, just fate, and fancy. Just like him.

Wandering into the kitchen, running your fingertips over various instruments and surfaces, you wanted to soak in the atmosphere of the apartment. So far, the new information was almost overwhelming. But also fascinating in the fact that you already felt like you knew him better. Glancing at the fridge in passing, you froze. Among the cheap promotional magnets and old shopping notes attached to it, there was a rather familiar writing visible. A note you made Anna pass to him many weeks ago. “I’ll be at the shooting range. Meet you for dinner after 5” signed with your initials for practicality. Why has he kept it? It did not make sense. You forgot about the existence of something that inconsequential, yet here it was. Kept in place with a blaring orange magnet from Sainsbury’s. Suddenly feeling a little faint with the implications of the moment, you poured tap water into the glass and sat down on the stool by the kitchen island. You could still remember Anna’s offended stare when you gave her the note with the instruction to pass it to Neil later. That memory triggered another one, much more recent…

In the days leading up to Tallinn, you went out with Neil for a lunch and walk under the guise of planning the logistics of your journey. Sure, there was some planning being done over the tea and sandwiches. But there was also a lot of hand-holding, kissing, and gazing shamelessly. It was during those days, and then the idle hours in the safe house, that you have allowed yourself to love him. The feelings were there for months (most likely), but only after Oslo and the candid conversations in your room, you felt more at ease with them. So far, that PDA was not all that terrifying. And so, when you came back to the London quarters that afternoon, your fingers intertwined, you only realised how it looked like from the outside when Neil tugged you in the direction of Anna’s desk.

“What are you doing?” you hissed, hoping the woman was too busy to see you.

“I told you, need to get that ID sorted,” he explained, matching your conspiratorial tone, completely oblivious to your struggles.

“Yeah, but…” you raised your joined hands as if to show him the issue.

Neil grinned, waving his free hand dismissively.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s not like that’s against the rules” ending the sentence, he took the final step separating you from the desk.

Great. Plastering on the most pleasant of smiles, you met Anna’s accusatory glare. You could not blame her.

“Anna, hi” Neil’s bright grin got met with a cold face of stone.

You vividly remembered that first day at Tenet, when you were filling in the paperwork, observing him flirt with the woman behind the desk. Back then, you were baffled by her reaction, the fluttering of eyelashes and lovesick smiles. Now you wondered how you got to that point and why you were seemingly luckier than she could ever be.

“Yes?”

“My ID is expiring soon. Was wondering if you could give me the form for the new one?” Neil’s chirpy tone made you hide a smile by looking at the floor “I want to get this sorted for after we’re back” he added, with that hopeful gaze barely anyone could ever say no to.

Anna was not any different.

“Naturally,” she spared you a final spiteful look before turning around to use the computer.

Glancing around the empty lobby, you hoped to survive the rest of the encounter without any additional awkwardness. But Neil had other plans. He stepped in closer, nose brushing over your ear, tearing down any illusions about the nature of your relationship. You stifled a sigh when his lips placed a small kiss over your temple.

“Shall we go to yours after this?” the whisper complemented with a ghost of his fingers on the side of your neck made you shiver.

“Maybe…” you cast a wary glance at Anna, but her back was turned.

Thankfully.

“I thought we could resume the planning…” upon the suggestive tone, you turned to meet his gaze.

Surely enough, the playful sparks were there. And the smirk too. Of course. Planning, in this case, most likely meant more cuddling… and potentially kissing. His hands getting accustomed to your body, leaving countless promises for the future. The thoughts alone made you blush. Before Neil could get any closer, Anna’s voice interrupted the moment:

“Here’s your form,” nothing but ice and fury.

So, she must have noticed…

“Thanks” the polite nod made you snicker.

During the next few terribly long minutes, you did your best to avoid looking at the other woman. Or at Neil. Your gaze roamed over the ceiling, the walls, and the floor. Reading the same fire evacuation instructions for the fifth time, you felt a gentle touch on your arm:

“Can I put down your details as my emergency contact?” you looked up straight into those inquisitive blue eyes “I’ve had Ives the last two years, but I think you’re a more accurate option these days,” he explained as though it was obvious.

Emergency contact? You always assumed those were for best friends and spouses. You were not sure which fitted the criteria.  

“How so?” blurting out the only viable question, you met his perplexed gaze.

“… because I’m with you and not with him” the bluntness of the reply made your heart stumble.

“Right”

Of course, you agreed. As a ‘thank you’ that afternoon, Neil kissed you until there was barely any breath left for either of you. Now you missed the feeling of being that desired.

And yet, that stupid note was right there, in your eyes a bright red spot that you could not ignore. Because surely, he must have cared at some point? You finished the remains of water and washed the glass. Then, just for the sake of a distraction, you went through the kitchen cupboards. Nothing surprising. Appliances that looked barely used. Canned food every Brit would be expected to have. The amounts of frozen meals in the lower fridge compartments confirmed another thesis - Neil did not like cooking. That was fair not everyone could be Jamie Oliver. Not that you would prefer him. Certainly not. Shaking your head at the ridiculousness of the thoughts, you opened another cabinet. Wine and glasses, triggering the memory from your date night in Oslo. The way Neil tried to emulate his swank further by pretending to be a sommelier, making you laugh with his fake French accent and sparse knowledge. Upon the efforts to name something else than tannins (that Sauvignon Blanc had little of), you stepped in, shutting him up with a fingertip tracing the outline of his lips, collecting a stray droplet of wine. And then licking your finger clean, much to his shock. The strange snapshot from one of the most eventful nights in your life was a good cue to leave the kitchen and trod down the corridor.

You stepped into the bathroom, curiously glancing at the contents of the cupboards and around the sink. Nothing remarkable. Giving in to the temptation, you sprayed the cologne he used on your wrist and inhaled deeply. Closing the bathroom door, your eyes landed on the room at the end of the corridor. Neil’s bedroom. Involuntarily, you felt a shiver run down your spine. Bedrooms were always a sacred space. The most private of places in the house. The stage set for life’s crucial events. Love, life, and tragedy all began to play out (and end) in there. If there was a room closest to the heart of the owner, it would be the bedroom and its contents. With a shaky hand, you pressed down the handle and opened the door. The interior was almost too mundane. The bed with dark grey covers and decorative pillows. Some artworks on the walls and drawn curtains, forcing you to turn on the ceiling lamp. A small bedside table with a night light and books. A walk-in closet with the sliding doors partly opened. That was what drew you in first, crossing the space you peered inside. Only to be overwhelmed with that Neil smell that made sure to make your heart rate pick up. Gently, you ran your fingers over the suit jackets and sweaters hanged on the rails. He had a multitude of those, in different colours. Eyeing a suit in dark blue, you could imagine how it would bring out his eyes. There were a few sweaters in different shades of green, confirming the suspicions that he liked the colour. Further along, you found a drawer with ties of various patterns, making you grin at one olive green with Labradors on it. Now that was a classic Neil accessory.

Just when you were about to end the ‘snooping’ your gaze landed on a more casual part of the wardrobe. Jeans folded on the shelves, t-shirts, and polos. Even a jean jacket somewhere in the back. In the drawer, you found socks with questionable patterns, only increasing the fondness you felt for the owner of such an eclectic wardrobe. And then you made the mistake of letting your curiosity get ahead of you. Another drawer. Underwear. Your face got warm as you slammed it shut. Enough. Thinking about that could lead to the dangerous territory you would rather not venture out to. At least not when alone in his apartment, overwhelmed with memories and feelings. There would be time for this too later… Hopefully.

Sliding the doors shut, you took in the room again. The pile of books on the bedside table caught your attention. Gingerly, you sat down on the bed, doing your best not to think about the specifics of that moment. You, alone in his bedroom. This was certainly not how you expected to end up in there for the first time. But that too was beyond the point. Sighing, you picked up the stack of books only to drop them onto the covers with hands shaking. You would recognize the cover everywhere. Your favourite book. The exact copy you had last seen in Oslo when you gave it to Neil. That memory was rather unforgettable…

Hanging out in the hotel room, waiting for Mahir and TP to come back from a small errand, you did your best to ignore Neil’s piercing gaze from across space. That was the day after your careless dancing and that evening’s developments when he asked you out. Just before the mission. And Neil was staring, shamelessly so. It was getting on your nerves.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” putting down the itinerary, you broke the silence and faced him.

The satisfied smile was enough to make you groan. He knew exactly what he was doing, as though waiting for the moment to strike when you were alone.

“Actually not, no” the grin widened as he shrugged nonchalantly “Plus you’re quite the sight. As usual” propping his chin on his hand, he kept on gazing.

The bastard was impossible.

“Jesus…” sighing, you rummaged in the bag at your feet “Do you want a book or something?” you took out a worn-out paperback “Because all that staring makes me want to…” trailing off, you met his inquisitive glare.

Want to kiss him. For starters. But he need not know that.

“What? Tell me” Neil spread his legs casually, leaning back in the armchair. An object of pure poise. And the challenge, aimed at you only. That was Neil at the top of his game, sure of what he wanted and how to get it. But you were not going to give it to him easily.

“Better not” the slight shock in his eyes gave you confidence “If yesterday taught me anything, it’s that your ego is big enough” offering him a sly smirk, you took a sip of the water.

When you looked up again, Neil was staring at you with an exaggerated pained expression on his face.

“I’m wounded” he put the hand over his heart like the drama queen that he was.

Scoffing, you laughed at the spectacle. Two could play the game.

“Good,” the offended whine only increased the satisfaction “So do you want that book?” you picked up the paperback, showing it to him “I’ve got my favourite one with me. Could kill some time”

“Yes, please” he got up and crossed the room, taking the book from you “I’ll have a chance to see what’s in that head of yours” Neil leaned down to your level and kissed you on the forehead “Apart from the desire for me, of course” he added, once he moved out of your reach once again.

Fucking hell.

“Neil”

At least there were some fun memories to come back to, you thought, looking through the copy you borrowed Neil. Then you noticed another thing. Under your book, there was another one of the same title. Brand new. Pages filled with Neil’s scribbles on the margins and underlined passages, highlighting the exact same quotations that made this book become your favourite. My god. The realization hit you with a gasp and a shiver. He read it. And not only that, but he also tried to understand you through something you held so dear. Reading the notes he made, you knew he was listening to every word you said. No matter the moment, the stage of your ‘relationship’, evidently, he cared enough to be interested in your thoughts and feelings. You were holding the proof in your hands. In some margin notes, Neil even referred to you using your initials, pointing out why it could resonate with you so much. The more you read, the more it felt like you have encountered his diary, in some form. That would be it when it comes to getting over. Putting down the books, your head was spinning. Too much.

You needed food. And sleep. It was at that moment that you decided to stay. It got late enough to make the journey back inconvenient. And everything was right here. Feeling like Goldilocks personified, you made use of Neil’s frozen food assortment and put on the music. Once you got over the initial shock of the afternoon, it was almost too easy to pretend that Tallinn never happened. That you were still alright. That he still potentially loved you. With the somewhat soothing sounds of Billy Idol and The Darkness, you went over Neil’s notebooks with equations. You understood nothing but the possibility to read his notes and theories was as comforting as it could get. Then, feeling your eyelids get heavy, you cleaned up and moved to the bedroom. Lying down in Neil’s bed felt like sacrilege. But the moment your head rested on the pillow and you inhaled the scent, it was all excused. At least in your eyes. Giving in to the foolish daydreams, you could almost imagine him next to you. The warmth and comfort the cuddles always provided. But you were alone, still wearing that sweater that smelled too good to be given up. It had to be enough. You fell asleep thinking about those damned blue eyes and the man that took the ownership of your heart for good.

*** Upon waking up in the cold apartment the next morning, you wanted nothing but to leave as soon as possible. In the daylight, with dreams of happiness haunting every corner of your mind, the feeling of loneliness was more persistent. You made sure to get rid of any signs of your intrusion, cleaned the kitchen, and made the bed. The only keepsake you could not deny yourself was the cashmere sweater that you stuffed into the bag. Even if he would not want anything to do with you, you could give it back along with the keys. Surely he would understand… right? After everything that you found in his flat, nothing seemed certain anymore.

You made it back to the HQs with just enough time to shower and pack for the next week of sitting in the inversion chambers in the sealed off part of the complex. That did not sound good as it meant more time with too many people in the cramped quarters. You had enough of that at this point. But then that was the prize of getting the most incredible of jobs. That and getting your heart broken. Again.

You joined the rest of the army by the larger turnstile, used purely for long-term inversion, instead of training. Accepting friendly nods from both Ives and Wheeler, you took your place in the queue. No one knew exactly what the purpose of this was. Just that you were supposed to go back eight days and then travel to the Norwegian coastline, awaiting instructions. The intuition that was rarely wrong told you that you were in the endgame from this point onwards.

And so, the next week was restricted to trying not to lose your sanity locked within the four walls. The only escape from the small room was the kitchen (always full of people that wanted to know too much), bathroom (that always had lines of people waiting by the door), and the small courtyard, where you could not step out without the oxygen tank and a mask. Overall, it was not the most pleasant of experiences. Especially when most days you wanted to curl up in bed and contemplate the mess that your life became. And to marinate in pain that became a constant companion. The sweater could only help so much. Accompanied with nerves and worry, you felt objectively shit and did everything to preserve the solitude. That is how you found yourself in the small kitchen at 2 am, eating toasties and drinking tea. Earlier the compound was too busy, and you preferred starving than facing the others. Only with everyone asleep, you could catch up on the meals missed. Well, almost everyone…

“How are you doing?” a voice interrupted your brooding.

You turned in the seat only to see Wheeler enter the room with a small smile on her face. Her you could tolerate, as an exemption.

“Bad” the candid answer seemed only appropriate “But I don’t mind the company, so please… stay” you added upon her hesitation.

She just nodded and proceeded to make a cup of tea. The silence stretched, but for once, it was rather pleasant. Finally, she finished the task and took the seat opposite you, giving you a quick once-over. You knew what she saw. Tangled hair, reddened eyes from lack of sleep, and hours of tears. The sweater that became the only comfort in those early morning moments when nothing seemed real and yet everything was too much.

“Is the sweater his?” she asked plainly, and you could only nod.

At this stage, surely, nothing was bound to surprise her.

“Yeah… Maybe it’s silly, but I took it from his place just to have something… tangible” you explained, consciously running your fingers over the material. Instead of judgement, you got a smile in return.

“No, I understand” Wheeler took a sip from the mug before asking, “Did the apartment give you any answers?”

You have not shared the story with anyone, unable to process it all even in the quiet of your mind. But maybe this was a chance to let it out…

“Mostly whiplash,” you let out a bitter laugh “It’s like… he cares… or cared,” you stumbled over the tense “But then in Tallinn after the shoot-out, he just closed off completely, and I don’t know why” raising your hands in defeat, you planted on your face on the table.

Anything goes. After a moment of utter frustration, you met Wheeler’s inquisitive eyes again. She did not seem bothered by your antics. Just a little concerned by the picture you were painting.

“Maybe it’s trauma” the seriousness of her expression made you think.

You did consider that option. But even knowing what happened with Alex, his reaction seemed too violent. You were alive, and yet he was trying to push you away. Plus, that way of thinking implied something else. Something you did not dare consider.

“That would mean he… loved me” getting the words out was a challenge “And I don’t think he does” you stared at the table, giving in to the thoughts once again “Whatever is going to happen now, I think I need space. Some distance. Trying to get over this won’t work otherwise”

Formulating the feelings that were overwhelming your heart and mind felt somehow relieving. Even if the prospects were anything but good.

“Is that what you want? To let him go?” the straightforward attitude of your companion was helpful.

“I don’t know,” sighing, you met her gaze, “I want… him, but if he doesn’t feel the same then…” with reddened cheeks, you let the sentence trail off.

She would understand, you were sure of that. And, if the slightly suspicious look in Wheeler’s eyes was anything to go by, she had her ideas about the topic.

“You should probably try talking to him again” she spoke after a few minutes of silence.

“Last time that ended terribly,” you replied, arching your eyebrows, begging her to remember how bad that container conversation went.

“I know,” Wheeler patted your shoulder reassuringly, “But I also know that sometimes Neil needs a proper kick in the ass before he sees what’s right in front of him” she got up and went to the sink, picking up both of your dishes.

With the soothing soundtrack of the washing, you could feel almost sleepy. If it was not for that never-ending chatter of your thoughts.

“If you say so…” you murmured when she turned the tap off.

“Go to sleep. It’s just two days more of this torture” giving you a final smile, Wheeler left the kitchen.

You could survive two days. After that? Who knows. But it had to be alright.

[massivedrickhead]

Loving your series of one shots bud!! I, myself, am a massive fan of fluff and happiness (tooth rotting), how about a prompt where Beca is in LA with Khaled (post PP3) and she is finding it really tough, physically and mentally, especially knowing Chloe isn't there, she hasn't spoken to her in a while, and she believes her to be happy with Chicago elsewhere... and when she returns home... She finds Chloe there. Waiting. (Or the equivalent, where Chloe is engaged, Beca hasn't spoken to her in a while, and she comes home to see her there) xxxxx

Hi, thank you so much! 

I might have gotten away from the prompt a little, but I hope you like it anyway.

I’m kind of tired and emotionally tonight so I don’t know if this is any good, and it’s kinda long so I hope that’s okay haha

Read on AO3

------

“Beca, are you listening?”

Chloe Beale is single.

“Mhm,” Beca said, pulling her eyes away from Facebook on her phone and looking back at Theo. “Sorry.”

“Everything alright?” He asked, knowing it wasn’t like Beca to zone out in a meeting like this. 

“Yep,” Beca said, turning her phone face down. He raised his eyebrows. “It’s Chloe.”

He closed his eyes with a sigh. “Is it an emergency?”

“No,” Beca said, putting her hands in her lap to resit the urge to pick her phone up again. “I am super focused and professional.”

“Can we talk about your album for, like, ten more minutes?” Theo said, trying to keep up his face stern.

“Absolutely,” Beca said, her eyes dropping again, briefly, to her phone.

The meeting felt like it lasted a lifetime, but eventually Beca hurried out and back to her own office, puling Facebook up on her phone.

Chloe Beale is single.

Chloe’s profile picture had changed from the sickeningly sweet picture of her and Chicago showing off her engagement ring, to just a simple selfie.

Beca clicked into her contacts list and her thumb hovered above Chloe’s name.

She should call her, right? 

She scrolled down further, and hit call on Aubrey’s name.

“Aubrey Posen,” Aubrey said, using the same tone of voice she would use to greet a stranger, and not one of her closest friends.

“Aubrey what’s going on with Chloe?”

“I’m doing great Beca, thanks for asking,” Aubrey replied.

“Aubrey.”

“I don’t know,” Aubrey said, her tone softer. “She’s been unhappy with him for a while.”

“She has?”

“Yes,” Aubrey said. “When did you last speak to her?”

“It’s… It’s been a while,” Beca said, sounding guilty. “Work has been a bit much.”

“I know,” Aubrey replied. “You should call her.”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “Thanks.”

“Speak to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “I’ll call you.”

She ended the call with Aubrey but once again hesitated before calling Chloe. Apart from the occasional surface level text or exchange of snapchats and memes, she really hadn’t spoke to Chloe for a while. Not properly. Not the way they used to. 

She was scared that if she called her now, Chloe would be mad at her. 

She drummed her fingers against her desk, her stomach twisting slightly, as she tried to decide what to do. She never handled confrontation very well, it’s why she’d spent so much of her life just walking away from situations.

Beca picked up her phone again, and typed out a text.

Beca: Hey Chlo’. I’ve just seen Facebook, are you okay? xx

She hit send and closed her phone before she could overthink it, and tried to focus on her work again. 

She had a bunch of album art she needed to look through and pick her favourites. (Yes, her job was pretty awesome.)

She also had twenty unread emails that had popped up in the ten minutes she had spent on the phone to Aubrey/deciding what to do about Chloe. (Yes, her job was also pretty demanding.)

As her phone buzzed on her desk with Chloe’s reply, Theo poked his head through her office door.

“What’s up?” She asked, resisting the urge to pick up her cell to read the message.

“Have you got plans tonight? Because you need to cancel them if you do,” he said, looking stressed.

“Why?” Beca asked with a sigh.

“The head of the label is coming in for a meeting tomorrow morning and he wants to hear your new album and it is nowhere near ready for that,” he said.

“Isn’t he in Europe?” Beca said with a groan.

“He is literally flying in for this meeting. There is a lot riding on this album, Beca,” he said. “He took a big risk when he signed you as a solo artist after the Khaled collab.”

“I know that,” Beca said, running a hand through her hair. “I know. But it isn’t getting released for another two months, why does he need to hear it now?”

“I don’t know how his mind works, I just know we need to impress him tomorrow,” Theo said.

“Okay,” Beca said. 

“No distractions tonight, okay? Take an hour now and we can get started at,” he glanced down at his watch, “5:30.” He closed the office door behind him, and Beca immediately picked up her phone, pushing away the sudden wave of nerves.

Chloe: I’ve been better xx

Beca: Are you free right now? xx

Chloe: Yeah, I just finished work. xx

Beca called Chloe, this time without hesitation, and the redhead answered on the second ring.

“Hey,” Chloe said, her voice sounding heavy.

“Hi,” Beca replied, sinking back into her chair at the sound of Chloe’s voice. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed hearing it. “What happened?”

“Can we not talk about it?” Chloe asked. Beca could hear the sound of New York traffic over the phone and she felt suddenly homesick.

Not for New York specifically, but for that tiny apartment she and Chloe had shared in Brooklyn. For that level of closeness and intimacy. 

She liked L.A. fine, and her new home was, on paper, a thousand percent better than the Brooklyn apartment, but it still didn’t feel like home. She would trade her state-of-the-art kitchen, king-sized bed, hot-tub - all of it - for one more night in that apartment. One more night sleeping beside Chloe. One more night where Chloe’s arms would snake around her waist and pull her close, mumbling that she was cold. One more morning eating breakfast together before they parted for work. One more evening making dinner and watching trashy TV.

What made it hurt more was that she knew there was no going back to that apartment. Chloe had moved in with Chicago, Beca had moved out to L.A., and Fat Amy was somewhere in the Bahamas. Someone else was living in their apartment now. Sleeping in their cramped bed, making food in their kitchen.

“How’s work?” Chloe asked, breaking Beca out of her thoughts.

“Busy,” Beca said. “It’s… It’s a lot right now.”

“Are you taking care of yourself?” Chloe asked. And Beca thought just how like Chloe that was. While she was going through a heartbreak, she’d rather make sure Beca was okay.

“I thought that was your job,” Beca said, smiling at the soft laugh Chloe gave. She could hear the sounds of keys jingling and a door opening.

“That’s kinda hard to do when I’m all the way in New York,” Chloe said. “God it’s so cold outside. I need a vacation.”

Beca glanced at the sun streaming through her office window. “Maybe you should come to L.A.,” she said, without really thinking. As soon as the sentence left her mouth, she realised this was something she wanted more than anything right now. 

“That would be nice,” Chloe said with a laugh.

“I’m serious,” Beca said, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. 

“Come on, Becs. I can’t do that,” Chloe said. “I have work.”

“Take some time off?”

“The flights are expensive-”

“-I’ll pay for the flights,” Beca said, cutting her off. “I think… Chlo’ I think I need this. I need some time off. And I think you need it too?”

“Yeah, I need it,” Chloe said. “Are they even gonna let you have time off?” 

“I can ask,” Beca said. She looked down at her watch and saw she only had ten minutes before she had to get back to work. “Look, if you want to come, I can make it happen. I’m working for the rest of the night, but give me a call tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay,” Chloe said. “I’ll call my boss.”

“So you want to come?”

“Yeah. Yeah I want to.”

——

Beca glanced around her nervously as she stood at the arrivals gate of L.A.X. airport a week later. She was wearing a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses but she was still afraid someone would recognise her.

Then she caught sight of ginger hair and suddenly Chloe was walking towards her and Beca felt her nervousness drain away.

Chloe grinned when she spotted her, and started walking more quickly, practically running by the time she got close enough to hug her. She dropped her case and flung her arms around Beca, squeezing her into the tightest hug she could manage.

Beca was going to make some sarcastic joke, but the feeling of Chloe’s arms around her caused her voice to die in her throat and her eyes to fill with tears. 

“I’ve really missed you,” Chloe said, squeezing tighter and planting a kiss on her cheek and releasing her.

“Missed you too,” Beca said, grabbing the handle of Chloe’s case. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine,” Chloe said, grinning. “Why are you dressed like a spy?”

“Um, because I am?” Beca said, laughing. “I just don’t wanna get spotted.”

“Right,” Chloe said. “You’re a big deal now.”

Beca laughed and shook her head. “It’s a lot,” her voice was a little quieter. 

Chloe frowned slightly, and then her eyes widened as she saw a few men with cameras hovering outside the entrance to the airport.

Beca sighed. “Just ignore them and stick close to me.”

They walked out of the airport quickly, and as soon as the men spotted her, they started yelling. 

“Beca! Beca! How’s the album going, Beca?!”

“Beca! What do you say about the rumours that you’re dating your producer?!”

“Holy shit,” Chloe muttered under her breath as they made their way to Beca’s car, the paparazzi following them, continuing their barrage of questions.

“Beca! Introduce us to your friend!”

“Beca is it true you’re dating-”

Whatever name he was planning to say was lost in the sound of Beca slamming her door shut, and starting her car. She honked the horn a few times to get them to move out the way.

“Beca, what the fuck was that?” Chloe asked, pulling on her seatbelt as Beca pulled out of the parking lot. 

“Fun, right?” Beca asked, glancing in her rearview mirror, making sure they weren’t going to follow her home. 

“Does that happen every time you go out?”

“Not always,” Beca said. “To be honest they were probably there just hanging about to see if anyone would turn up. I don’t think they knew I was there before they saw me.”

“Jesus,” Chloe said. “I forget you’re like a legit celebrity now.”

Beca pulled a face. “I’m not. Not really.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, glancing over at Chloe. “Yeah, just… Just really looking forward to this time off. I had to work a lot of late nights to get Theo to agree with this.” Chloe frowned. “You know that guy was full of shit, right? There’s nothing going on between me and Theo. I haven’t been dating him. I haven’t been dating anyone.”

“Why not?” Chloe asked.

“Why not, what?”

“Why haven’t you been dating anyone?”

Beca shrugged. “I haven’t met anyone I liked.” They were quiet for a little while longer as they continued to sit in L.A. traffic. “So, can we only talk about my love life or are you going to tell me about you and Chicago?”

“There’s nothing really to tell,” Chloe said, turning to look out of the window now they had gotten off the highway. “I just… It wasn’t working. We were fighting a bunch. I wanted him to be different and he wanted me to be different.”

“I’m sorry, Chlo’,” Beca said. 

“It’s okay,” Chloe said. “It’s better in the long run. At least we weren’t married with kids before we figured it out.”

They sat in a comfortable silence as Beca drove them the rest of the way to her house, the radio playing quietly. 

When Beca pulled up to to her house, Chloe let out a low whistle.

“Right, you live in a fucking mansion now,” she said.

“It’s hardly a mansion,” Beca said, feeling embarrassed. She took Chloe’s bag from the trunk and they made their way into the house. “You want the tour?”

“Please.” 

Beca showed her around, dropping her bag into the guest room. The tour ended on the deck, and Beca grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses from the kitchen on the way. They sat in comfortable loungers and looked out as the sun set over L.A.. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Beca said, pouring them some wine.

“Me too,” Chloe replied, cheers-ing her glass against Beca’s. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Anytime, Chlo’.”

As they sat in silence watching the sunset, Beca felt a warmth spreading through her chest. For the first time since moving to L.A., she felt like she was home. And then she realised something.

Something she’d known all along, really.

She glanced across at Chloe, who was smiling with her eyes closed, letting the sun soak into her.

Chloe.

Chloe was her home.

She placed her hand on top of Chloe’s and squeezed, softly.

Chloe opened her eyes and looked over at Beca, still smiling. She adjusted her hand so her fingers were threaded with Beca’s. 

Beca looked away, blinking against the sun and feeling tears stinging her eyes.

If Chloe noticed, she didn’t mention it. She just carried on smiling, and turned back to face the sunset, their hands still linked. 

“It’s beautiful out here,” she said. 

“Yeah,” Beca said. “I feel like I never actually get to relax out here. I spend so much time just sleeping at my office these days.”

“I knew you weren’t taking care of yourself,” Chloe said.

“There’s just been a lot of pressure at work. This is my first solo album, and if it fails… If it doesn’t do well everyone will know that my last one was only a success because of Khaled,” Beca said. “I can’t fail at this.”

“You won’t fail,” Chloe said, softly. “You’re so talented, Beca. You’ve got this, I know you do.”

Beca smiled. “I wish I didn’t have to do it without you.”

“You don’t,” Chloe said. “I’m only on the other end of the phone. You can call me anytime.”

“It’s not the same,” Beca said. “Sorry, I just miss how things used to be.”

“I know. I miss it too,” Chloe said. 

“If I’d known things wouldn’t stay that way forever, I might have done things differently,” Beca said.

“What do you mean?”

Beca shrugged, feeling like she should stop talking before she said something she’d regret. She didn’t want to cause an awkward situation that they both had to live with for the two weeks of their vacation.

“Don’t go quiet on me now,” Chloe said.

“I just wish I’d been more honest. Braver,” Beca said, avoiding looking at Chloe.

“It’s not too late,” Chloe said.

But Beca shook her head. “Sorry. I’m… I’m rambling. I’ve probably drank too much.”

“I guess it’s getting late,” Chloe said, letting Beca’s hand drop. “We’ve got a long day of relaxing ahead of us, right?”

“Yeah,” Beca said. She stood and stretched and helped Chloe to her feet. “If you get hungry or anything during the night just help yourself.”

“Thanks,” Chloe said, kissing Beca on the cheek. “We’ll finish this conversation tomorrow, okay?”

Beca laughed, and felt her cheeks burn. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Night Becs,” Chloe said.

“Night.”

Chloe woke a few hours later, her head hurting from too much wine and sun and not enough water.

She made her way to the kitchen and drank what felt like her body weight in water. As she was about to head back, she heard noises coming from Beca’s office. 

The door was open and a dim light was creeping onto the landing.

Chloe peaked inside to see Beca sitting cross-legged on her chair, her hair tied up messily, the light from the computer screen the only light in the room.

She was talking to someone on the phone, her voice a little hoarse.

“No, I get that Theo,” she said, her hand resting on the back of her neck. “But when I spoke to you yesterday, the track was fine.” She watched as Beca tucked the phone in between her ear and shoulder and the began typing into her computer. “Uh huh. So like, more bass? Less bass?” She stopped typing. “I don’t know what you mean by the same bass but different.”

Chloe had heard enough and stepped into the room. 

She placed a hand on Beca’s shoulder and tried not to laugh when she jumped. She held out her other hand for Beca’s phone. 

Beca sighed and handed it over.

“Hi Theo,” Chloe said, smiling. “It’s Chloe. You remember me from the USSO tour, right? It’s 2 am, and Beca’s on vacation. I know. I’ll pass your apologies on. Goodnight Theo.”

She clicked end on the call and passed the phone back. 

“Theo said sorry.”

Beca laughed and put the phone down. “Thank you.”

“Does this happen often?”

“Oh yeah,” Beca said. “Theo and I are both kinda nocturnal so sometimes he’ll call me with ideas.”

“No wonder you look so tired,” Chloe said.

“Gee thanks.”

“Come on, it’s bed time.” Chloe took her hand and pulled her up. “This room is off limits while you’re on vacation, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” Beca said, smiling. “How are you finding the guest room?”

“It’s nice,” Chloe said, as they hovered outside Beca’s room. “Why?”

“No reason,” Beca said.

“Becs, you can just say it you know?”

Beca laughed, and looked down. “I can’t. I’m not good at this.”

“Okay,” Chloe said. She pushed Beca’s bedroom door open and gave her hand a tug. “Come on.”

“Chloe,” Beca said softly, closing her eyes when Chloe cupped her cheek with her hand. “Wait.”

“Hey,” Chloe replied, her voice just as gentle. “Look at me. Tell me what you need.”

Beca swallowed hard, tears burning her eyes. “I’ve… I’ve been waiting. That’s what I wanted to say before. Why I haven’t dated anyone since Jesse. I’ve been waiting for you. I… I waited to tell you and I waited too long.”

“It isn’t too late,” Chloe said, pulling Beca into a hug. “You can tell me now, it isn’t too late.” She felt Beca take a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was muffled by Chloe’s shirt.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you. And I know you and Chicago just broke up. I don’t need to hear it back.”

Chloe ended their hug and cupped Beca’s face in her hands again, her thumbs brushing away the tears. 

“I wanted Chicago to be different than he was. That’s why we didn’t work out. I wanted him to know what I needed without me having to ask. I wanted him to know when I needed a tea instead of a coffee. I wanted him to bring me an aspirin when I was two hours into a study session because he knew I’d have a headache by then. I wanted him to know when I wanted to talk, and when I just needed to sit and listen to music. I wanted him to know me. I wanted him to know me the way you know me. I wanted him to be you, Becs. And… And when I realised that… When I realised it was you that I wanted… You that I was in love with… That’s when we broke up.”

“You love me?” 

“Yeah,” Chloe said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Yeah I love you.”

Beca let out a teary laugh. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Beca nodded, and Chloe’s mouth was on hers, and Beca knew she was home.

[the-melting-world]

The Empress | Side B: “Burgh Island”

Art by @markmefistov

~ In which a humble gardener dons a magical gauntlet…

The Trio Appearances: Kipling | Khleo | Ozy

Arcana LI appearances: Asra | Nadia | Muriel 

Track Origins: “Burgh Island” by Ben Howard

Not sure if this is the right track? The full album can be found here: The Empress

cw: none

~ 1.4k words

Oz’mandias leads Kipling, Asra, and Nadia through a portal to his subterranean library.

Kipling stood with her friends inside of a library, which was as ancient as it was labyrinthe. Most of the space was cavernous while certain walls were overtaken by dense salted glass. On the other side was the foundation of a coral reef with aquatic creatures of all kinds drifting by.

“This is where you were the whole time, Ozy?” Kip asked once she got her bearings. 

“Yep!” Ozy replied happily. “Just me and Abaco.”

Asra and Nadia exchanged slightly uncertain looks, but Ozy didn’t seem to catch it. Or maybe, Kip thought, he knew what they were concerned about and chose to ignore it.

“Asra?” 

The magician tore his gaze from Nadia and focused on the grey mage.

“Yes, Ozy?”

Ozy inclined his head. “Can I borrow Kipling for a few minutes? You and the Countess are welcome to make yourselves comfortable. Abaco can give you a tour.”

Before giving Ozy an answer, Asra turned to Kipling. “Are you going to be okay?”

She nodded and leaned against him so he could press a soft kiss to her forehead. Then he let her go and went with Nadia and Abaco, who led them around a wide bend.

Ozy and Kipling walked in the other direction in silence. They passed dozens of rooms, none of which had doors. Glyphs were carved all over the floors and walls. Strange-looking three-dimensional puzzles were scattered across every surface. The umbras passed by mountains and mountains of tomes and scrolls.

“Ozy, this place is…”

“I know,” Ozy said without stopping or turning around. “I know.”

Kipling wasn’t sure what came over her, but she almost tripped trying to catch up thim. Once she had, she slid her hand into his. Into his gauntlet.

Ozy stopped, looking quizzically down at where their hands joined.

“I missed you, Ozy.”

Then Kipling let go, her palm buzzing at having come in contact with the gauntlet. Ozy brought his hand closer to his face, as if to study the microscopic traces Kip left behind when she grabbed on.

“If you could only imagine,” Ozy said slowly, “how much I missed you and Khleo while we were apart. It’s funny how you’re standing right here and I can’t seem to convince my brain that it can finally relax. There’s no need to keep sending signals to my chest and make it constantly ache like this.” He dropped his hand. “Do you want to hear some good news now?”

Kipling blinked back the tears that had started to build up. “Sure.”

Ozy removed his gauntlets and walked backwards into one of the doorless rooms. “Do you remember when you, Khleo, and I all used to share one pair of gauntlets?”

Kipling nodded slowly, not sure where this was going.

“Well,” Ozy kicked open a chest down by his feet. “That was silly because… take a look.”

Kipling tentatively approached. She discovered that the chest was full to the brim with gauntlets of all different makes and designs.

“Turns out it’s not one size fits all.”

***

(Asra’s POV)

Asra and Nadia followed Taro and Abaco as they led them through the massive library. Faust, who was coiled around Asra’s shoulders, seemed to regard the two familiars with interest while they went on chittering and chirping back and forth.

Asra was tempted to ask Faust what the lemur and the warbler were talking about, but he was very hesitant to pry. 

Nadia, it seemed, was just as curious. “What do you think they could be discussing so passionately right now, Asra?”

Once again, Asra managed to resist giving into the temptation of asking Faust. 

“They probably are just taking this time to catch up.”

Nadia grinned gently in amusement, as if she could very well sense Asra’s hesitation. Then she turned her ruby gaze to where the cavernous walls connected with the elongated cylindrical ceiling. There the dark limestone was interrupted by narrow panes of salted glass. Light from the reef poured in, casting everything inside the library in a shifting watery pattern.

“This place is quite the marvel,” Nadia whispered. “It’s a wonder that anything so vast could be sealed off and sink to the bottom of this reef without leaking.”

Asra nodded and added, “It must get really dark in here when the sun goes down. And I haven’t seen any lanterns since we arrived. I wonder what Ozy does to light the way.”

That was when Abaco halted mid-flight and perched on one of the many life-sized bookstacks. He ruffled his feathers and twittered in the direction of the Countess and the magician.

Faust merrily translated, Never dark!

Abaco puffed out his chest and took flight. He wandered up high near the sunny salted glass as if to further elaborate.

Faust translated for the bird a second time. Sunny always!

Asra turned to Nadia to relay the information, but she had left his side.

“Nadia?”

The magician had to rely on Taro and Abaco in order to track her down. He found the Countess in a gymnasium kneeling by what appeared to be an exercise pool.

Nadia seemed absolutely captivated by the immense stationary presence resting at the bottom. Asra gasped as he approached. “Is that some kind of monster?”

Nadia shook her head, her ruby eyes calculating what she could through the distortion caused by the water. “It sure does seem that way at first, but look closely, Asra.”

She mirrored the grooves and swirls in the design by tracing them in the air with the tip of her finger.

“This… is a machine.”

***

While Kipling and Ozy sat around the chest, going through the different gauntlets and having Kipling try on each, they talked of life on their island.

“Are we,” Kip hesitated, “near the Melting World right now?”

Ozy sighed. “From the looks of this reef, it sure does seem like it, doesn’t it? But no. We’re closer to the Prakran continent. The isles we came from are still miles from here.”

Kip tinkered absently with a switch on the knuckle of the gauntlet she currently wore.

“Have you ever gone back?”

Ozy reached over and tugged at her ghost lock. “Once.”

Kip could tell by the resignation in his tone that he didn’t want to elaborate. Still, she looked at him with pleading eyes. 

Ozy shook his head. “The monastery is empty now. I don’t know what happened. And I didn’t go into town to see if my family’s campaigns were still happening or if the superstition toward our kind was as strong as it was when we left. I suspect that people nowadays simply hide the evidence of their magic until they can leave.”

Kip felt her insides go icy. 

The monastery… empty.

Empty of children. Of lemurs. Of Elders.

“Chin up, coz,” Ozy said brightly. “I found a way to recreate all of our favorite spots through grey magic. They’re pretty much identical to the real thing. The lagoon, the echo caves, even the guayacan grove where we used to practice opening Doors, remember?”

Kip’s eyes flooded at the thought. “Yes, Ozy. I remember.”

Ozy watched the tears streaming down her face with a sympathetic smile. “Why are you crying, Kip? Those were good memories.”

Kipling’s laugh came out like a bark. “I know! But you found a way to preserve and protect them. After all of my memories came back, I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance to see those places again. Let alone see them with you.”

Ozy closed the lid of the chest. “Kip?”

She looked up to see him holding some ancient tech and grinning. “I think I found a pair that fits.”

Once again, Ozy distracted Kip from her own emotions by fitting the gauntlets to her hands.

“Hey, Ozy?”

He lifted a curious brow. “Hm?”

“You’ve already been to Strength’s realm.”

Ozy nodded without taking his attention away from his task.

Kip swallowed. “But what about the Empress? Have you gone to see her before?”

Ozy stopped and looked up slowly, his hazel eyes locking with Kip’s brown ones.

“I have.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Kipling reached forward and pulled on his ghost lock.

“And? What is she like? What did she say?”

The way Ozy grinned and batted her hand away strongly reminded Kip of when he was younger. 

“She said that she’s waiting for you. The Empress wants you to come find her so that you can see for yourself.”

Then he lifted up Kipling’s wrist and flicked a switch that had her entire hand sparkling with teal precursor light.

[demivampirew]

Keep calm and go to London. Chapter 2

Yep, I was bored so I wrote chapter 2 😁🤣 hope you like it

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche​ @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo​   constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive​ @agniavateira​  @honeyloverogers

Trigger warning: talking about low self-stem and body image issues.

Back at the hotel, I took a shower before going to bed and then I look at my phone to check the time - it was 3 am - and I saw that I had a new message from Henry. "It was an absolute pleasure to meet you today. You were a delight to talk to and I have the feeling that we'll end up being great friends. Tomorrow I'll pick you up at the hotel at noon so we can eat something on our way to the set. Does that sound good for you?" "Yes, sounds great! Cannot wait!" I replied. "Amazing. So I'll meet you tomorrow. Sleep well." "You too. Sweet dreams." I finished the conversation. As soon as I send the last message I went to bed. It took me a while to be able to fall asleep. I couldn't stop thinking in Henry, in how excited I was about tomorrow, and that feeling I got when we met. It was strange, I've never felt that before. I woke up and I realized that I overslept. It was 11 am and Henry was picking me up in an hour. So I hurry up and take a shower, change into some jeans, a black pullover and a jacket and I put some mascara and lipgloss, there was no time for full-face makeup. I braid my hair and then put on some comfortable boots and then the room phone rang. - Hello.- I answered - Hello, Miss Y/N, someone is waiting for you in the lobby. - Oh, yeah, please tell him that I'll be there in a minute. - Sure. I'll tell him right away. Good day! - Thank you, good day to you too! I hung up the phone. I ran into the mirror to check if I was ok looking and then I grab my black bag and made my way to the lobby to meet Henry.   When I got into the hotel lobby, there he was, sitting in one of the couches, wearing a red t-shirt, white pants and a brown jacket. You saw him and couldn't believe it: he seemed even more handsome than yesterday. He was distracted looking at his feet, probably avoiding being recognize, but he looked up and saw you and smile and got up while you approach him. -Hi!- he said smiling -Hi!-you replied nervously, waving your hand slightly and he came closer and gave you two kisses in the cheeks. You knew that that was something the British people are accustom to do, but it caught you off guard and once again you felt that electricity, just that this time it ran through your whole body. -What would you like to eat? - He asked - You can never go wrong with some pasta. - I answered, smirking. - Pasta is then. - he agreed and smirked too. We went outside and we got into his car and he drove to a restaurant. We chat a little about the city, his favourite places, which he loved and didn't enjoy about London. There were more pros than cons. He talked about the neighbourhood where he currently lived, his dog - who left with his assistant for the day because he wasn't going to be welcome in a restaurant, he thought-, Jersey and his family. He took me to a really nice restaurant and I felt silly, wearing jeans and a pullover, it was the kind of place that even in the middle of the day you wear a nice dress. But thankfully, I decided not to let that detail ruin this amazing day. While we ate, he asked me about me, so I granted his wish and I talked about my family, that at the moment I didn't have any pets but I love animals in general. And then he asked me how much time I planned to stay in London. - Honestly, I don't know.- I replied - I just need some time away from LA. - It's because of your breakup? -he questioned, almost sounded worried - Yes and no. Yes, the city reminds me too much of him and that reminds me of all the pain I went through because of that relationship. No, no because of him, because of Hollywood, it's a bit too toxic. There, everyone wants to be your friend or acts friendly because you're "y/n" you're "the shit", you worked with the biggest stars, you wrote some of the biggest number ones, you fill stadiums, you started your acting career, made four movies and won three Oscars, but most of those people only want to get their piece; they want me to help them become the next Bruno Mars or the next Rihanna or Adele. I need a place where I can get some peace; I need a place where I can go grocery shopping without people caring about who I am. I want to make my art and live in peace, is that too much to ask? - I said sighing. - I completely understand how you feel and I know the pressure it must be much worse for you. -he agreed and gave you a sympathetic smile. You smile back at him and then laugh a little bit when you saw that he had some sauce on his face near his chin. You lick your thumb and proceeded to clean the stain. You took him by surprise but he didn't move at all when you touched him. He looked at you and you would swear that he was being shy. -Sorry for that, you had sauce on your face.- I explained - Oh, thank you. - he said nervously and you could see now that he was a little embarrassed. - You're welcome. - You replied and smile. You decided to continue the conversation with a more cheerful topic and asked him to continue talking about the rest of his family. So he did, he told you all about his nephews and niece. After lunch, you made your way to the set. It was impressive. In there, you saw a few stuntmen practising fights and was really exciting. You got to set lots of props and armours and even got the chance to learn a few moves from the stuntmen. One the stuntmen, a guy in his late twenties, blonde, green eyes, very good looking, came up to you and compliment you on your work; he had seen all your movies, buy your album and even went to three of your concerts. You were having a nice chat with the guy when his coordinator asked him to help him with something and as he was leaving, you almost could swear that you saw Henry sigh in a sign of relieve. "Probably doesn't like that guy," you thought. It was almost 7 pm and you were about to leave but you asked Henry for a selfie. He didn't know, but that was a big deal for you. For months, you hadn't taken any selfies or pictures except the ones from the meet and greets, due to your body image issues. But this time you didn't care about that, you wanted a picture to remember that day and the person who made it possible. He smiled at you and said "sure" and stood close enough that you could feel the heath of his chest on your back. Here we go, electricity down your body once again. You took the picture, and for your surprise, you love it, not just because of him, but you also looked pretty, you thought and smile. You send the picture to Henry like he asked you and then he took you to the hotel. Once there, he got out of the car and opened the passenger door for you. You got out, gave him two kisses in the cheek and thank him for the amazing day. He smiled and told you that he hoped to see you again soon, then he waved and got into his car and waited for you to enter the hotel and then left.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

[retrauxpunk]

Rain, I ask you: ALL the quarantine asks!

Animated character that was your gay awakening? not really an ‘awakening’ so much as a ‘hint’, but Azula from Avatar: the Last Airbender ... yep

Grilled cheese or PB&J? GRILLED CHEESE

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? I don’t really experience this mood, but my go-to watch is the vlogbrothers YouTube channel

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? if it’s a low-key/work outing, lager or cider (esp the ones with non-apple fruits too); if it’s getting more serious (lol) or with closer friends or a more celebratory mood: vodka with sparkling apple juice

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? these Doc Martens that are white with red hearts got ’em with my first ever full time design job paycheck. i did not take care of them well so they’re super scuffed/beat-up and very much not Perfectly White ... but they’re still comfy as heck, i still love the design, and they’ve lasted 3 years so far, let’s see how much longer we can make it ... also i think they’re a limited edition so i likely won’t get my hands on any replacements...

Top three cuisines? my cheap-ass answer would be, like: East Asian, South-East Asian, Western European ... but my non-shit answer is... Japanese, Chinese, Italian (ftr i’m not a seafood fan ... i just love the ramen and non-seafood stuff that japan makes hehe)

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? i have no clue

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? cold-calling strangers to ask them to do market research phone surveys (y)

Look up. What’s directly across from you? the kitchen

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a messenger bag that i got signed by Jeph Jacques of the Questionable Content webcomic that i once adored ... and I think my boyfriend has gifted me a signed Matthew Reilly hardcover.

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? curled up indoors wearing something cosy, reading and eating something delicious. playing animal crossing lol. aaaaand listening to music, a good podcast, watching stand-up comedy, drawing, getting intoxicated...

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? occasionally the standard smoked salmon and cream cheese, but i slightly prefer the meat to be, like, prosciutto

Brunch or midnight snacks? ehh fuck it, both???? both!!

Favorite mug you own easter limited edition waitrose mug, squat and round and yellow, painted/shaped like a very round chick. a Borb,,,,

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? i actually thought about this and, uh, peppermint mocha. not for everyone, slightly weird, never fitting in with the regulars/being a default, but???? obviously awesome?? also: about 65% on the mainstream/hipster scale

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) The Wombats is the artist. lyrics are either “Let's dance to Joy Division / and celebrate the irony / Everything is going wrong, / but we're so happy” from Let’s Dance to Joy Division or “the edge of nowhere’s such a beautiful place” from Emoticons

Fruity or herbal teas? herbal but i agree with @queenofslime, black tea is the best

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? ...do i experience embarrassment about what i like to watch on TV? i don’t know if i do, because i watch relatively few shows ... and have relatively little shame? maybe???

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? ftr i wasn’t bitter about this before reading, i had no preconceived biases against, and i was pretty open to liking it -- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

Do you match your socks? if they’re of a really nice design then yes always, if they’re of a more standard/generic design then ... not necessarily

Have you ever been horseback riding? yes a few times ... on the last time which was like five years ago ... the lady said i was a natural and asked if i’d ridden much before, which was. flattering. and yes this is a Brag.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) didn’t have much of a hardcore phase but i was pretty much always into fantasy ... oh wait yeah i did! i had a spy phase :)

Have you ever been to jail? to closed-down ones, yep

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? pretty great idea unequivocably, right?

Puzzles? i tend to enjoy riddles/lateral thinking puzzles, i am impartial about jigsaw puzzles. i enjoy escape rooms.

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? apple ... but elderflower if i’m feeling reckless (y)

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? young adult ... or stationery

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Russian language :( it’s going не так хорошо

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? not sure if i have a go-to artist so much as go-to playlists i’ve made but some good ones are The Wombats and Bastille 

Where could someone find you in a museum? mammals/birds in natural history

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? i swear i was talking about this recently but i clean the fuck forgot what it was ... oh yeah, i have this short-sleeved black minidress festooned with silver buckles/buttons and also featuring decorative suspenders ... which, yes, does make me look like a sexy military officer,,, anyway it’s pretty badass and somehow it hasn’t occurred to me till now that i can just wear that every day now if i want? ftw i do get the chance to wear it, it’s just a little bit Extra so i get self-conscious. i’ve worn it a few times though. including to work. because fuck it, right? i didn’t become a graphic designer to be shy about sometimes looking like a prototypical emo/scene kid-turned-adult??? (ftr i was never an actual emo/scene kid. i lacked the requisite guts, commitment of feeling, and permissive parents.)

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? sunset-coloured clouds :)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? how about a shapeshifting feathered dragon that could range from, like, two thirds of a foot long (20cm) to sit on your shoulder, to ... the size of a massive draft horse? (but longer and thinner)

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? photos, though if i didn’t live with a partner, it might be art

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i’ve already got a meme tattooed on my body ... a private meme i have with my boyfriend, one on each leg (left: outer side, just above knee; right: outside, a few inches above the ankle)

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with ?????? is this a sidekick to a known superhero, or a superhero to act as your sidekick? also i don’t know? who are the standard heroes? i’m not up to date on this.

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? rivers or oceans

Favorite mid-2000s song i can’t decide a favourite, it’s too stressful, but one that i like is Rob Thomas’s Little Wonders

How do you dress when you’re home alone? either a t-shirt and PJ pants, or a dress (usually short-sleeved/sleeveless minidress)

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? on either side of the couch haha

Knives or swords? BOTH but ok swords.

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving hmmmmm like all of Linkin Park’s first three albums with some exceptions? hahahah

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie i don’t think i.....know any????

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? explanation, though on instagram quite often the photo and caption are unrelated

Name a classic Vine there’s only one thing worse than a rapist...

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? dumplings! as in the gyoza type.

How do you top your ice cream? that ‘magic’ chocolate sauce that hardens into chocolate. that stuff. i watched those ads all childhood long but my parents were immigrants and therefore very thrifty so we NEVER bought it iirc and then in my adulthood i got it a bunch of times. but now i live in the uk and can’t find it. and forgot it existed. and have never seen it anywhere.

Do you like Jello? the kind that’s served on a plate as a dessert? meh. the kind that are found in asian grocery stores as individual fruit-flavoured serves in little plastic cups? YES 

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? future stock prices? LOL ... or i’m gonna go with @queenofslime‘s answer again -- how others see me. it’s a great answer.

How are you at climbing trees? not............ good. i mean, i like climbing, but i have absolutely terrible upper body strength. i did bouldering for a couple months but only stuck to the first like... three out of nine difficulty levels.

[moistmailman]

Imagine an AU where !CheerleaderRuby has a giant crush the the Sweet !MetalHeadPyrrha, who has piercings, tattoos and has half of her head buzzed for the punk rock look.

She gets extremely flustered whenever they talk together. One time Pyrrha waved to Ruby during one of the games and the poor girl just froze up in the middle of the field, blushing madly, much to Pyrrha's confusion. The metalhead actually started to get worried for the short girl. It was pretty hot outside that day, so was Ruby having a heatstroke or something? What was wrong with her? Ruby's cheer captain, Weiss quite literally had to slap Ruby back to her senses. "Ruby, snap out of it! Everyone's staring at you!!!" "W-WHAT?! I WASN'T S-STARING! YOU'RE JUST SEEING THINGS!" "No, I said that everyone is staring at you! I never mentioned you staring at Pyrrha! So snap out of it!" "O-oh right. O-of course you did. I-I knew that.......WAIT, I WASN'T STARING AT PYRRHA!!!" She still was blushing for the entire game while sending Pyrrha discreet (not really) glances.

Another time she spent a lot of money on some metal concert ticket of a band that Pyrrha loves so she could watch it with her. "Whoa, what are you doing here, Ruby? I never knew you like this band." "What? Really? That's surprising, cause I like, love this band. I have all their albums." "Really? What's your favorite song?" "(Panicking) Uh.......O-oh the uh........t-the one about......sticking it to the man, haha, you know? I absolutely love that one. (Sweats nervously)" "Oh cool. That one is pretty popular. Good choice." "(Sighs in relief)" At one point Ruby was complaining that she couldn't see the band due to her short height and then nearly had a gay heart attack as Pyrrha picked her up and put the shorter girl on her shoulders. "There you go. Can you see now, Ruby?" "(High pitched) Y-yeah, I-I can see n-now." "Hey, are you alright? You sound funny." "YEP! EVERYTHING'S GOOD UP HERE! THANK YOU!" "Okay, if you say so."

Another time Ruby actually managed to muster up enough courage to finally confess to Pyrrha. It took her a whole hour to approach the taller girl, but she still did it though.......kinda. "H-hey P-pyrrha, I need to tell you something. Okay uh...well uh......I-I t-think you're really awesome and stuff. Y-you also look really cool, especially with your tattoos and hair. A-and I-I j-just want to s-say that.......y-you're very pretty and I-I like you a lot. D-d-do you want to go on a date with me?!" "(Taking out her earbuds, causing quiet metal music to come from them) Huh, did you say something, Ruby?" "U-uh....I uh.....(nervously swallows) I uh.....I uh....I said uh........" "Ruby? Is everything alright? Your face is all red right now." "........I-I GOTTA GO! HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!! (speeds off)" "..........okay.....you too, I guess. It was nice speaking to you." Ruby then proceeded to go to her sister and cried on her shoulder. "(Muffled) IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! I ALREADY CONFESSED!!!" "There there, little sis. Just let it all out." "(Muffled) SHE'S JUST SO PRETTY! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!! LIFE IS UNFAIR!!!"

Another time they were partnered up for a school project and Ruby decided to use her weeks of training with the art of flirting that she learned from Yang to her advantage. So the girl took the best pick up line in head. A pick up line that is absolutely smooth and amazing. One that would make Yang proud. "Okay, so what part of the project would you like to do? I'm alright with either." ".........." "Ruby? Hello? I'm speaking to yo-" "I LIKE YOUR TATTOOS!" "..................." "..................." "Thank you, Ruby. That's very sweet of you. A lot of people find them to be intimidating a little. So it's always nice to hear a praise about them." "Y-you're welcome, they're very cool." "Thank you again, Ruby. You're very sweet. My favorite tattoo is probably the one on my stomach though. Look (lifts shirt to reveal abs) see? It's Medusa from the Greek mythologies. I'm kinda of a dork for those sorta things. (Chuckles)" "(Face completely red)..............." "Anywho, let's get back to work, shall we?" "O-okay, yeah. L-let's do that. (Hides her face in her textbook)" "Are you okay, Ruby? Your face is all red again." "(Muffled from the book) NEVER BETTER!" Despite that, Pyrrha kept asking Ruby if any thing was wrong during the rest of the session, since her face was completely red the whole time. Although the shorter girl always said she was still alright, while forcing herself to look her in the eyes. ("Oh god. Her eyes are so pretty too! Oh god!") Pyrrha even asked Yang if her little sister had some sort of skin problem, since her face is nearly always red whenever they talk. "No, she has a thirst problem." "Oh, she gets dehydrated easily?" "Yeah, let's go with that."

They finally started dating when Pyrrha asked Ruby out to the movies. But Ruby never realized it was a date until Pyrrha kissed her goodnight at her doorstep. (Poor useless lesbian). "I had a grand time, Ruby." "T-thanks, m-me too. S-s-sorry for jumping in your arms a lot though." "No, it's alright. I should've told you it was a horror slasher movie. It was my fault" "(blushing) T-thank you for holding my hand during it though. I-it really calmed me down" "No problem. You want to go on another date next weekend?" "Most definitely!" "Good. Good night, Ruby." And that was when Pyrrha kissed Ruby right on the lips, sending imaginary fireworks shooting out from her head. Her face completely matched the taller girl's hair and she could barely speak afterwards. She was in a gay mess. "W-W-W-WAIT! T-T-THAT W-WAS A G-G-G-GAY D-D-DATE??!! L-LIKE F-FULL GAY?!" "Yeah, you didn't know?" "N-NO! I DIDN'T!" "Oh, I'm Sorry. I thought I was more clear when I asked you out. "(Lesbian flustered noises)" Look, if you don't want this to be a date then it does-" "N-NO! I WANT THIS TO BE A GAY DATE! A VERY GAY DATE! PLEASE MAKE THE NEXT DATE EVEN GAYER ACTUALLY!" "Oh, okay then. If you're alright with it then-" "YES! I'M A VERY ALRIGHT WITH IT! GO MAX GAY NEXT DATE!"

Yang was listening the whole time from inside the house and teased her for weeks for this. "(Laughing) Please make the next day even gayer. You crack me up, Ruby." "YAAAAAAAANG! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HEAR ANY OF THAT!!!!" "Hello, can I have some extra gay for our next date, Pyrrha?" "SHUT UP!!!!" "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! NOT WHEN I SHIFT INTO MAXIMUM GAY!" "I SAID SHUT UP! (bonks Yang's forehead)" They are an adorable couple though.

[mrs-yamada]

Coping Mechanisms

I realized I’ve posted a lot of stories about abuse, but none of the things I’ve learned over my 40+ years to cope with or lessen the everyday pain one goes through. It’s so hard to struggle through each day all by yourself by sheer will - as it certainly feels like, somedays.

You need to find some ways to deal with your pain! No matter how silly something may sound, if it works it’s not silly at all.

Obviously these won’t all work on everyone and some might irritate the heck out of you, because we’re all different. But if you put your own spin on them and think of what you enjoy to do, they could be helpful. 

I’ll add to these if I remember more, since I’m in sort of a downward spiral (parents visiting soon) myself...

Onward, under the break...

Sleep when you need it

If you can, that is. I have too many issues to work and luckily we’ve managed so far with one income, although it sucks. This does mean that I can cater to my individual sleep schedule, however, and I use that to my advantage. 

Don’t listen to neural typicals when they say “go to bed at the same time every night”. They’re normies! We’re not! Our bodies differ. You may actually benefit from doing as everyone will tell you, but a lot of us with mental differences benefit much greater from setting our own, very different (and rapid cycling) sleep cycles. I am currently sleeping from 6 am until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I simply cannot sleep until then no matter what I do - and in a few weeks, I know this will change and I’ll be back to 10 pm or maybe 12. The difference is I get the sleep my body so desperately needs, and it helps greatly. I know not all of us can do this, but if you can - go for it. Try it out. You’d be amazed how good you feel after actually sleeping.

On the flip side, though:

Don’t oversleep

No, seriously. We all have the urge to “never get out of bed”, but you’re just gonna feel like crap and get a headache. Sometimes it’s cool to do this but, you know. Don’t abuse the treat.

Clean up (yourself & the home)!

Yeah. This is another one of those “you see it everywhere” tips, but that’s because it does work. Even if you can only manage to brush your teeth, change your undies, whatever, you’ll feel a bit better. Same goes for your house/apartment/room. Clean a tiny space if it’s all you can do - you’ll feel like you’ve got more breathing room.

Don’t EVER want to shower/bathe?

We’ve been there. It stinks, no pun intended. Personally, I had to think of a great way to encourage myself to get the heck out of bed and bathe - bath bombs.

And not just the regular kind! Glitter, rainbows, especially the ones with little toys inside, those are the best for days I don’t want to wake up and shower. You can even use them (as I just said) in the shower. They act like shower steamers and smell the rooms up nice, too.

Make a “Power Outfit”

It could be a comfy sweatshirt, or animal pajamas (kigurumi). Maybe it’s a really wacky pair of socks or a shirt that features your favorite TV star or character from a series. This could include accessories, like a fun hat, headband, furry tail, superhero cape - whatever will make you feel great. Don’t overthink it. It’s not “weird” to wear what makes you feel better, no matter what.

Hide/buy surprises for yourself!

Again, this is one I absolutely love to do. I scroll around through etsy and eBay a lot as another numbing yet engaging brain exercise, and I look for the cheapest “blind boxes” and/or “surprises”. Blind boxes are packages where you don’t know what’s inside until you open it, just like the name suggests. If this doesn’t bother you, it’s great for buying yourself a surprise. I use this as stocking stuffers for myself, too. Ha.

Of course this works for things like a book you want to read or a puzzle you’d like to do. Maybe even wrap it and leave it in the “gift pile”. Gift yourself when you need a pick me up!

Another of my favorite things are called “surprise balls”. They’re balls of crepe paper strips you unravel, and each layer has a surprise in it. You unroll the rainbow-colored strips, dropping toys, novelty items, etc, as you go. You can unroll one layer at a time or all of them! Find them at etsy, you can even get them customised. 

Eat better. Exercise.

Trust me, I used to hate exercising (and when I say “hate”, I mean it). But it makes such a complete difference that I actually miss it when I skip on the weekends! Eating right (whatever is right for you, allergy-wise, dietary preferences, etc) also makes a huge difference. My mood lifted so high without the use of mind-altering drugs at all (societal approved medicine or otherwise).

Aromatherapy 

I’ve seen so many people FREAK OUT about this.

Relax. It’s not meant as a “cure-all” no matter what the MLM pushers say, it simply helps a little. And for those of us with a lot of problems, “a little off the top” is really a big help. There are different types of scents for different mood enhancers, but my favorites (bubblegum, lemon, orange) are citrus based because that lifts depression. (Google this if you’re want - there have been tests done researching depression & aromatherapy).

Use wax melts, incense, whatever - and remember that candles can be bought on etsy & elsewhere that have surprises in them, too! You take out the charms and gems and such as the candle burns. Win-win for a little pick me up!

Rainbows

Yeah, I know. I have little crystal rainbow catchers in my windows so that my rooms fill with rainbows throughout the day. You’d be amazed at how many times a surprise rainbow from one of them lifted my heart and made me smile. 

They’re not expensive, either. You can pop down to your local craft store and buy them in the beading section. Thread the bead with string or fishing line and hang it up on a suction cup or - really, wherever you can where light will catch!

Wait, did I mention craft stores..?

Arts & Crafts

I may be biased here, but there have been a lot of people that benefit from coloring books and crafts. They’re soothing, but be warned - they’re sometimes not good for mind-wanderers. If you’re “dump-trucking” bad thoughts, a mindless task will NOT be a good thing to do. I sometimes pair crafts and such with watching TV so that my mind and hands are busy at the same time.

Distractions!

Writing

*looks at self in reflection of monitor*

...yep.

This can help not only you, but others. It’s a relief to feel that you’re not alone, and when you come across something that helps you in a moment of need it’s awesome. It feels just as good to let it all out.

Write about your day, your past experiences, your hopes - anything. Heck, write fanfiction where the guys or gals or beings of your dreams help you get through things. Work it out. You don’t have to publish them. It will still feel good. And if you want to record your own in one area, or read specific fics, especially fanfics, I recommend the Archive (and not simply because I write there, ha)! 

Television/Movies/Games

Same thing for movies, games & TV. They may distract you, but that means you may get the odd, sneaky thought that creeps in. We all hate those. Oh, and watch out for triggers! Good flipping butt, so many triggers!

There’s a site that helps for tons of triggers (including books, games, etc) called “Does the Dog Die”. I use it constantly when watching new programs or movies. 

I personally do toon-fests where I watch so many cartoons, especially kiddie ones like “Molang” (so cute)! And I love using Minecraft for chilling out, game wise. Just, again... watch out for games. Man, they can be a pain sometimes if you’re getting frustrated. Stick with ones that you know are relaxing or you can play on “safe mode”. Don’t try to do a complicated campaign or grab that rare trophy/achievement when you’re stressed.

Music!

Yep. Music lifts spirits. And did you know if you search Google Play they’ve got free stuff? Like, a lot of it you might not want and there are a ton of religious readings, etc (if that’s your thing, then hooray)! But often I’ve found some really nice relaxing music with wave sounds, thunderstorms, etc. Of course you can buy albums too.

Voices

The same goes for voices. They can be very soothing and help you relax. There’s a whole bunch of Play apps where anime dudes and/or chicks talk you to sleep, or say comforting things. Well, technically, they’re real people speaking but there’s images of anime guys and gals. There are all types, so look around.

You could even ask your loved one to make a recording of them speaking to you or reading poetry, etc. It’s very helpful to hear a beloved voice - no matter who it is for you -- in times of need. 

Cuddles

Pets, stuffed animals, blankets, fellow humans... hugs help sometimes. Sometimes you really don’t want to be touched, but that stuffed animal or pillow can give you just the right snuggle to lift your mood.

Free stuff!

Every once in awhile I use a throwaway email and go freebie hunting on the internet. A lot of places will give you stickers, samples, and all sorts of stuff for free. If you have a PO Box or don’t mind giving out your address, this works so well. Mail surprises are the awesomest.

[becuztaelien]

BTS REACTION

So… Hi everyone! This my first piece of writing, so yea, be nice lol.

 They surprise you while you’re on tour (you’re a really well known idol)

Kim Seokjin

The entire stage was dark except for the single spotlight on me as I sang possibly the most emotional song on my album; ‘Endlessly’. It was obviously for Jin, my beautiful boyfriend of almost 2 years; about the way I loved him, about our future together, about how I wasn’t perfect, but perfect for him. 

I finished the second chorus and closed my eyes not able to help thinking about Jin through the soft piano instrumental. I lightly rocked back and forth lost in his eyes that I wasn’t even looking at. I was probably missing him too much because I felt two strong arms wrap around my figure, a familiar head resting on my shoulder, wow I can even feel his touch now. Slowly turning around, I gasped at the sight of Jin’s closed eyes and worldwide handsome face on my shoulder he looks so real and just so goddamn perfect I’ve definitely lost it, if the fans hadn’t gone wild I would have actually thought I’d lost my mind.

“Jin?!” I squealed not realising it was straight into the microphone, Jin stayed in his position and lightly hummed in my ear, okay he is definitely real ohmygod. “Jin what are you doing here, wait how did you get here-?” He put a single finger on my lips, clearly I was babbling unable to contain my excitement I’m in Australia, what the heck did he just come all the way here???

 “Shhh, I couldn’t wait 2 more weeks to see you, it’s been too long”      

Min Yoongi

I was walking towards my dressing room, ready to change and go home after 3 hours of singing, dancing, bad jokes and a LOT of laughs. Although I love doing concerts, I must admit, by the end of them I’m too worn out to function.

I quickly bowed to the staff around, thanking them for their hard work as usual and stumbled into my dressing room. Taking off my leather jacket, I threw it on to the couch without looking around, my eyes were barely open, this is what 2 hours of sleep feels like I thought.

“Ow!” you spun around absolutely baffled by the slight of your boyfriend slowly getting up from the couch with sleepy eyes.

“Yoongi?!”

“After I flew 10 hours here and waited 3 hours for you, this is what I get? Jacket to the face?” he said holding up said jacket and the rubbing at where it hit him. Even though I had barely an ounce of energy left in me, I ran over to him immediately, practically collapsing in his arms; shooketh and excited but still too tired to move properly.

“I’m sorryyyyyyyy Yoonglessssss” my obviously half assed apology along with hysteric laughing earned a tired ‘whatever’ from him. I stayed still for a while, not wanting to do anything but lie in his arms for the rest of eternity. Just as I was about to drift off into sleep; Yoongi reached up and held my face in his music genius hands and gently placed a kiss on my forehead.

“Hey” he said and I grinned widely at his soft smile and sleepy eyes of course he would be sleeping in my dressing room after that 10-hour journey.

“Hi” I said burying my face in his neck and closing my eyes again.

“Ya! Don’t go to sleep her-”

“You should have come sooner.” Even though I cut him off mid-sentence, which he absolutely hates, I felt a gummy smile against my neck followed by a hum of approval.

“I should have, shouldn’t I?” It had only been 1 week since my tour began, what are we gonna do with each other?

Jung Hoseok

Being musicians and lovers at the same time Hobi and I had recorded a couple of songs together however, since I was on tour by myself, I couldn’t help but feel a little upset when singing a song in which his part was just left as half a minute of silence from my lips.

As his part of the song approached my smile started to fade, I knew I had to be strong for the fans since there wasn’t much more time left until the tour ended anyway you’re gonna see him again soon, just keep it together y/n I thought to myself.

I was about to mouth the silent lyrics when I heard someone singing Hoseok’s part, as a matter of fact I heard Hoseok singing Hoseok’s part I spun round to see my sunshine walking towards me with open arms and a blinding smile oh my god Jung-J-Hoseok-Hobi-Hope.

The excited screams from the fans were louder than they had ever been but somehow I couldn’t hear anything but the sound of his beautiful voice. I ran towards him at the speed of light and allowed myself to be enveloped in his strong embrace feeling the soft vibrations of his voice against my forehead.

He finished his line and looked at me adoringly, ready to sing our shared and final chorus but being Hobi, he didn’t start before screaming into the mic first.

“SURPRISE Y/N!!!!!!” wow he is the literal definition of perfection what did I do to deserve this angel ohmygod he dyed his hair black ohmygodohmygod OKAY CALM DOWN AND SPEAK but before I could even open my mouth, he turned towards the fans and screamed again.

 “I think you’ve borrowed my jagiya for too long so after this song I’m taking her back” I have officially melted. 

Kim Namjoon

One of the staff members had just come in to let me know I had 10 minutes left to go on stage. I quickly checked myself in the mirror to make sure I looked my absolute best, after all it was the final concert after which I could fly back home to my boyfriend who I had left alone for a little over 2 months. He’s not actually alone though, I mean he lives with 6 other guys, he’s probably been occupied.  

The knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts as I waited for someone to notify me of how long I had left, upon not hearing anything, I turned away from the full length mirror, walking towards the door, I opened it confused as to why whoever was on the other side wasn’t saying anything.

 “Yes wha-” I was cut off as a tall figure lifted me off my feet and into a tight hug, the familiar scent flooded my senses and I realised what was happening Namjoon.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t wait any longer” did he really just apologise for making me the happiest girl on the planet? Namjoon wasn’t usually an outwardly clingy boyfriend so his words surprised me a little but I couldn’t help but smile at them, not admitting I absolutely loved this side of him.

 “You just stole my line” I said hugging him back twice as hard, when he let out a slight grunt of pain I loosened my grip and we both stood staring at each other; his hands resting on my waist and mine on his neck. I thought if perfect moments exist, this tops all the charts.

 “Y/N ON STAGE IN 2 MINUTES” I take that thought back… I gripped his shirt, all my strength concentrated in my fist obviously not wanting to let him go.

“AISH it’s okay it’s okay I waited this long already, I can wait another 2 and a half hours-” it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself rather than me, “-go blow that crowd away” he said kissing my temple and giving me the universal ‘Go get em tiger’ nod. I pouted and quickly pecked -or what I thought was ‘pecked’- his lips before running off.

 “See you after the concert Joonie!!!” I said leaving him flustered with a bright red mark on his lips, yep it definitely takes more than a peck for lipstick to stain.

Park Jimin

(Before you read Jimin’s watch the first 35 seconds of this to understand what I’m talking about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc9lfT4L6T0 )

  As a pop/hip-hop singer I had a good amount of ‘hype’ songs with intense choreography, which obviously took days and days to perfect unlike Jimin who could memorise choreo in about an hour or two. All through the first verse of the song I kept thinking about how Jimin would be able to learn it in seconds and do it a hundred times better than me, which inevitably led me to think about him in general and miss him even more.

Right before the chorus was about to start someone jumped out from within the stage and landed gracefully right in front of me, what just happened? But from one look at his blonde hair I already knew who it was. The moment he landed, he immediately started dancing to the music that blasted from behind my frozen figure. Is that…?

“KEEP SINGING JAGI” Jimin screamed, turning his head ever so slightly with his half-moon eye smile on full display. Yep that’s Park freaking Jimin and… he just jumped out from inside the goddamn stage and started dancing to the song I was just thinking he would be good at dancing to…wow.

“Jimin??!! OH MY GOD” I yelled back before going up next to him and dancing along with him. The fact that he was dancing to my song with my choreography but 100 times better than me was definitely something only he was capable of. The entire atmosphere changed and the energy from the fans tripled, but somehow all I could focus on was Jimin; the way he moved his body so smoothly to the rhythm, the way he mouthed the lyrics, the way he just looked, his presence alone was suddenly so breath-taking, have I really been dating this piece of art for 2 years?

The second the song ended I jumped into his arms, tightly wrapping my legs around his waist and of course he did his signature full body laugh in that exact moment causing the both of us to fall on the stage. From the sound of the crowd losing their minds alone, I realised that I fell right on top of Jimin. I tried to get off but Jimin grabbed my thighs and pulled me back down onto him, looking me directly in the eye.

 “What did you eat? You look 10 times more beautiful than the last time I saw your face” I probably blushed really hard because he started laughing and pinched my cheeks lightly.

“Jajangmyeon…” I replied with the most genuine smile I had given in a while.

Kim Taehyung

I was missing my boyfriend like crazy and ever since my tour had begun, both of our schedules just got so packed, there was barely enough time to text let alone call. Right after singing the song I wrote for him, I felt especially needy, the only thing keeping me from actual depression was the sight of my ecstatic fans along the thought that I only had to wait 3 more weeks until I could see him again.

“Look at all your beautiful faces! Ah! Wow! So much beauty focussing just on me? I should go to jail for this” I said genuinely, my statement of course earned very loud ‘NO’ from them along with incoherent sentences telling me they don’t deserve me. No more like I don’t deserve all of your love I thought, here I am thinking about my boyfriend right in front of thousands of my adoring fans, who are the actual reason for all of my success, it almost felt like cheating. It was a well-known fact that I had one of the most beautiful fans in the whole world, maybe I just attract beautiful people… like Tae I thought ughhhh STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

 “So what punishment should you receive for neglecting this beauty for 6 weeks?” A bright light shone on one of the high platforms on the stage which I didn’t even realise was there until I spun round and gasped, my heart skipping multiple beats at the sight of Kim Taehyung –the man I was trying not to think about- pointing to himself with the most adorable pout I had ever seen on a human being.

“TAE?!!” I barely managed to choke out, too over whelmed and awestruck by the current situation when a familiar song started playing and I saw all of the members enter the stage as the platform with my boyfriend began to lower. HOLY SHET!!! WHAT??? OMG HOBI, JOON, KOOK, YOONGS, CHIM, JINNIE!!!!!!! HOW ARE THEY ALL HERE AND TAE??? WTF IS HAPPENING?!

 “Yo, yo girl, I wanna, I wanna tell you this, that you’re ma… miss right” Joon started singing and I immediately covered my mouth trying to hide the ginormous smile forming on my face, TALK ABOUT THROWBACK. Slight tears began to tickle eyes at the sight of my best friends stood around me singing. Tae finally reached the stage and started walking towards me, the timing as perfect as him, wow talk about elegant.

 “Yes you’re my only girl, neoneun naege choego” he sang and immediately after, took me into his strong embrace, members still singing around us while the fans went wild. Apart from the sound of 6 beautiful voices all that could be heard was loud wolf whistles and it made me happy to think I had fans who supported my relationship and cheered me on rather than give him hate because of jealousy they were truly the best. Tae pulled away lightly and placed his forehead on mine, he gave me the most panty-dropping stare ever before moving his lips next to my ear.

“Next time you go for this long I’m gonna sue you”

Jeon Jungkook 

The concert was finished, I stood at the front of the stage seeing the crying faces of my beloved fans. Although we had spent near enough 3 hours together, it was obviously not enough, it was never enough, even for me. These were the people who supported me, put their time, and money into me just because they believed in me; if I had the chance I would take them all out to dinner just to thank them for everything they’ve done for me.

“Did you all have a good time?” I asked grabbing a bottle of water, half out of breath from the recent dancing and singing.

“YES!!!” they all screamed back in union without any hesitation, this always put the widest, toothiest smile ever on my face, it just made me so happy to be able to be the person who brought joy and happiness in their lives even if just for a little while.

 “Ah me too! I wish I could stay longer… maybe I can…should I stay?

I was expecting another loud ‘yes’ but this time they all stood silent; some covering their mouths others just staring with a blank expression. Furrowing my eyebrows, I was about to speak into the mic when a loud “NO” sounded through the speakers. I spun round, so fast my hair hit me in the face, quickly brushing it away, I finally understood the obscure reaction from my fans; there… near the exit of the stage… stood Jeon Jungkook. He was carrying what seemed to be all my bags with utmost ease and I definitely didn’t miss the way the tank top he was wearing made sure his muscles were on full display.

 “You’ve already spent more than 2 months with them, that’s exactly one sixth of the time we’ve been together.” It took a second for me to fully come to terms with the fact that my boyfriend had just flown 10 hours to see me and also did he really just do math? I tried to make sense of his odd use of fractions when it hit me. It was today.

“Happy one year jagiya” Kookie said pulling out a massive bouquet of roses from behind his back, I was too shooketh to say anything and simply stood there dumbfounded. “Joon-hyung may have helped construct that last sentence” he said lightly scratching his head and giving me his signature bunny smile.

  Jeon Jungkook… just voluntarily did math… for me… wow.

So yeaaaaa hope you all liked it, and if you want me to write more just send me an ask yayyy! Btw I’m Ash.

[simplyghosting]

every single unique ask

*cracks knuckles* aight here we go

1:  Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Because 1. If there happens to be a flying bug that I need to kill, I don’t want it hiding in my clothes. and 2. My closet door squeaks, so anyone trying to hide in it, I be knowing.       

2:  Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?  Yes, but then I forget about them and find them in the back of a cabinet 3 years later.       

3:  Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?  The bottom and the side facing the wall are tucked, and then the other sides are out.         

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?  No??? (though when I was little I did take those little flags that marked underground wires)         

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?  I literally keep them in my purse and they’re all over my computer.            

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I haven’t seen a coupon since 2008.              

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bees, I think, maybe… uh…depends how concentrated the swarm is, otherwise I might try the bear.             

8: Do you have freckles?  No, though when I was little I was super jealous of everyone that did.              

9: Do you always smile for pictures? Yes, though sometimes I wish I didn’t

10:What is your biggest pet peeve? Lying or speaking in a condescending tone (though I have a lot of things that really bug me)

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?  If I actually walked I might          

12:Have you ever peed in the woods?  When I was really little I had to once in the woods on the side of a highway             

13:What about pooped in the woods? No, thank goodness (though I used a toilet paper-less outhouse that didn’t have a door)              

14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? All the time              

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? When I was little I’d bite ‘em in half. I more hold them than chew on them now though              

16: How many people have you slept with this week? My sister shares my room with me 4 days a week. (I know what this question is asking and I’m not going to acknowledge it)

17:  What size is your bed? Twin. It’s literally the same bed I’ve had since I was 5  (someone gave it to us, so it’s like 20+ years old)            

18: What is your Song of the week?  Dernière danse by Indila            

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yeah, depending how it’s worn (like some guys can really make a hot pink button up work if you have the right tie)             

20: Do you still watch cartoons? *shoves all my voltron fanart under a rug* hmm?  yes, i do. it’s pretty much all i watch      

21:  Whats your least favorite movie? I watched my Sister’s Keeper once with some friends, and I didn’t like it (though I’m sure I’ve seen worse). I don’t care for movies with horror or a lot of people screaming/being disrespectful             

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Probably the pile of clothes I have stuffed in my drawer              

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? yeah i’m a 34b-ack off    

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?  Sweet and sour / polynesian sauce            

25: What is your favorite food? I really like my mom’s lentil burgers, at the same time, french fries call my name, and chocolate shakes…              

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?  Mm, maybe Lady and the Tramp, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, can’t think of the others           

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? I mean, some guy kissed my forehead once (which I’d like to forget), but I’ve never had a real kiss before             

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?  I wish though I was in missionettes             

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?             

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?  I sent a birthday card with a message last month does that count? otherwise i think i was 9  

31: Can you change the oil on a car? I mean I can check it and put oil in it, but not a full oil change             

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No, but I usually don’t speed (unless I stop paying attention and start actually driving at the speed every one else is)              

33:Ever ran out of gas?  Nope             

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?  Tuna salad or chicken salad sandwich             

35:  Best thing to eat for breakfast?  Scrambled eggs with ham, bacon, butter n biscuit, banana nectar, a bit of green pepper, maybe a sausage, too             

36: What is your usual bedtime?  My what? (i wish i had one TvT)             

37:Are you lazy?  A little bit. I’m trying to work on it            

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?  I’ve never been Trick-or-Treating

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? The Rat

40: Are you horny?             

41:  Do you have any magazine subscriptions?    Nope          

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos but gosh i haven’t seen lincoln logs since i was 7               

43:Are you stubborn?  Depends on what it is. Moral-wise, absolutely, but if it’s where to eat I’ll just go with the flow. Also no horror movies, I’ll put my foot down on that             

44:  Who is better…Leno or Letterman?  I have no idea who these people are             

45:Ever watch soap operas?  Kind of? Are all romantic dramas soap operas? Because I watched a couple of romance dramas              

46: Are you afraid of heights?  Buddy, I can’t even stand on a chair without getting dizzy            

47:Do you sing in the car? Oh, I belt out songs like no tomorrow in the car. The louder the better.          

48: Do you sing in the shower? If I’m not asleep I’m singing, let’s put it that way (and even then…)  

49:  Do you dance in the car?  Wait…people…people don’t do this?            

50: Ever used a gun? Yep! A .22 and a 9mm           

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?  Dude, I don’t even have graduation photos…             

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?  Sometimes (other times I’m floored by how well done they are) but at the same time, if they are cheesy,  isn’t that part of the fun?             

53:  Is Christmas stressful?  Absolutely. Or at least the way we do it now, it is             

54: Ever eat a pierogi?  I’ve never even heard of them TvT  OH! they look like pot stickers! love pot stickers!  

55: Favorite type of fruit pie? mmm either apple or pumpkin              

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Doctor and ballerina (I think spy at some point too)           

57:Do you believe in ghosts? Spirits of the dearly-departed wandering the earth as either punishment or to fulfill some last regrets? Nah.              

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? ALL. THE. TIME.               

59: Take a vitamin daily? Yep gummy vitamins ftw              

60:  Wear slippers? I would if my dog didn’t try to tear off the pom-poms every time I walk out with them on         

61:Wear a bath robe?  Yep, an old green and blue hand-me-down that I adore             

62: What do you wear to bed? Soft shorts and one of my dad’s old graphic-tees             

63:  First concert?  I’m just going to say it was a show that my dad did when I was about 5, because I can’t remember the first one that had an admission fee             

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  Probably Wal-Mart, though if I’m closer to Target, I’ll go there            

65: Nike or Adidas?  *points at shoes* Eso son reebok, o son nike?  (idk my shoes are new balance i just wear what feels good and is cheap)           

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?  I don’t even remember what Fritos taste like             

67:  Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?  I’m going to go with sunflower seeds             

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Well now I have, lol  oh hey they started in clearwater, fl        

69:Ever take dance lessons? I wish. Though I had a dance dvd when I was younger for basic ballet exercises. When I had the chance to go, my parents insisted I take Karate instead (which I loved, but still a part of me wishes I could have taken dance)             

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Buddy, I can’t even picture married life, I feel like I’m going to die the crazy old lady on the corner that doesn’t know when to stop talking about her plants (maybe a scholarly-type guy though)             

71:Can you curl your tongue? Yes, and I love being able to because for some reason babies find it fascinating               

72: Ever won a spelling bee? I was homeschooled, so I’ve never been in one               

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah, someone gave me a hug once. Also when I went to St. Augustine and thought it was so pretty I started crying. Did the same at a chapel (it was made as an art piece, and had mind-blowing mosaic work)             

74: Own any record albums? Not personally, but we have them at home              

75:Own a record player? Yep, we have a family one              

76: Regularly burn incense?  I have…candles?             

77:  Ever been in love? With a real person?  No.              

78: Who would you like to see in concert? I honestly have no idea              

79: What was the last concert you saw?  I think it was  “The Orchestra”, which is essentially the remaining band members of ELO.           

80:  Hot tea or cold tea?  Hot tea. Hot tea all the way.             

81:Tea or coffee? Honestly depends what I’m in the mood for, but usually tea            

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar              

83: Can you swim well?  If I fell into a calm pond I could probably survive, let’s put it that way             

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yep              

85:  Are you patient? Thanks to 3 younger siblings that are constantly trying it, I am               

86:DJ or band, at a wedding? Probably a DJ, but a band would be so sweet              

87: Ever won a contest? I won a game of skiball against some people (got a toy gator) and then won a Disney Trivia quiz, but I can’t think of an official contest I won            

88: Ever have plastic surgery? Nope              

89:Which are better black or green olives? How about neither?              

90: Can you knit or crochet? No, but it’s on my bucket list of things to learn             

91: Best room for a fireplace?  Probably the family room, though living room and a lanai work well, too.            

92:  Do you want to get married? I think so              

93: If married, how long have you been married? n/a              

94: Who was your HS crush? Didn’t have one

95:  Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Some people??? Are??? Mature???? And??? Communicate??? Civilly???  (no i don’t throw fits)

  96:Do you have kids? No, but I deal with 3 younger siblings and a dog

 97: Do you want kids? I have mixed feelings about it, but I think so  

98: Whats your favorite color? Pretty sure it’s green, but I love pinks, blues, and purples too, or a nice rich orange               

99: Do you miss anyone right now? My grandfather, and parts of myself               

[nautiscarader]

Wendip Week 2017 day 2: Time travel

The greatest stories of the past can be found in simplest of places... second, simple story for Wendip Week. Apologies if the story feels a bit rushed, I had to write and finish it within one day. 

Wendy and Dipper's kid, Tyrone was inspired by a character of the same name from @elentori-art​'s brilliant artwork (x). It’s set in the same “au” as one of my earlier work (x)

(My fanfiction masterpost) (Read on Ao3) (Read on FF)

- That takes me back in time...

Now that was a phrase that grabbed Tyrone Pines' attention. And it was spoken by his dad, so, while odd-sounding, it must have be true. But then, could it be true?

- Dad? What do you mean?

Tyrone Pines walked hastily to the sofa his father was relaxing on with - no surprises there - a large book in his hands. Without waiting for his answer, Tyrone climbed onto the sofa and crawled into his dad's arms, eager to see the book he was holding. It was a nice, large book with lots of pictures inside, and a hard, brown cover.

- Hey, there, champ. What did you ask about? - What does "take back in time" mean? Can you go back in time?

Tyrone's wide eyes shrunk when his dad chuckled, giving his hair a bit of a ruffle. This usually meant Tyrone was wrong, simply because he didn't know enough adult words, or that he mistook one for another.

- No, it's just a saying. It means that you start remembering things from your past, like these, see?

An album! Of course, mom and dad often browsed through them, usually the ones with his pictures inside it. This one seemed similar at first - it looked like it contained lots of pictures of him, except Tyrone could not remember any of them being taken. Even stranger, the boy in pictures looked older than he was. Could his father have pictures of him from the future?

And then it struck him - the hair! It wasn't red, like his mom's, but chestnut, very much like his...

- Dad, is that you? - Of course. And can you recognise this sweater-wearing lady?

He pointed to the girl eagerly staring into the lenses of the camera, so much so she made half of the picture blurry.

- Auntie Mabel! She's everywhere! - Yeah, no one could ever stop her then, and no one can stop her now.

Tyrone flipped a couple of pages, finding more glitter-covered pictures of his aunt, and a few, less decorative ones, of his dad.  

- Where's mom? - These are from before we even heard about Gravity Falls, I think. Look, I don't even have my cap anywhere. - he shuffled through the sturdy pages - I only met your mom when we arrived here for a summer. Dunno if she brought any of her pics though...

Dad passed the album, and reached to the bookcase next to the sofa, giving Tyrone chance to see more pics of Dad's younger self. The two were remarkably similar, aside the hair colour, so much so that Tyrone had to actively remind that he hasn't looking at himself. Some of the pics showed his dad amongst books, or toys, some in garden, playing with Auntie Mabel in his grandaprent's old house.

- Uh, I think mom has her album at her dad's house. After all, she has three brothers. - his dad stated after checking the bookcase - You wanna see more pictures of me and mom?

Tyrone eagerly nodded and moved aside, when Dad brought not one, but three thick albums with him.

- Yeah, we got a bit photo-crazy at some point. Well, Mabel did, she wanted to take all sorts of pictures once me and your mom started dating.

The first album looked very similar to the one Tyrone has seen already, aside from the brown, cap that at some point made its way to his dad's head. And then, out of the blue, the theme of the photography has changed. There were less and less of the twins in the pictures, and more and more images of forests and familiar-looking mountains. After a couple of pages more, images of a few familiar people appeared, bringing a smile back to Tyrone's face.

- That's grandpa Stan! And Soos! - That was our first visit here. - his dad nodded - We didn't know grunkle Stan that well back then, so he's gonna be mostly grumpy here.

And indeed, some of the pics showed grandpa Stan in, well, less than appealing poses, or with lots of grimaces on his already wrinkled face. The young version of Soos, on the other hand looked... pretty much like the same big, cuddly fellow Tyrone knew already. But then the subject of the pictures changed again, finally giving Tyrone what he wanted to see.

- That's mom! - Yep, that's her. - his dad sighed, staring at a profile photograph of his mom, relaxing on a bench during a warm, sunny day - You can imagine why I fell for her, can you? - Her hair is pretty... - Tyrone whispered, flipping pages again. - Yeah, you are right. And look, here we are with Mabel.

On the next photograph, his mom was leaning casually on the wooden wall of Mystery Shack, with his dad and Auntie on both her sides. Only now, with all of them in one picture, Tyrone noticed a rather large detail he wasn't aware of so far.

- Dad, why is mom so much taller? - Well, she's older than me. I was twelve, or thirteen, and she was fifteen already. You're gonna shoot up when you're that age too. - his dad paused - Your grandma was a bit baffled by the age gap, though. - Why? - Tyrone asked - Do you have to be the same age to marry? - No, it's just a bit unusual when a boy is younger than a girl. I guess. - he paused again. - Come to think, her arguments never really made sense to us. We were dating, and we didn't care. Glad she understood that.

His dad must have been in love with mom for a very long time, Tyrone realised. Lots of pictures showed her with his dad and Auntie, some with grandpa Stan and Soos, and some with lots of other, young people he has never seen before.

- That's Lee, and Thompson, Wendy's friends from high school. - his dad started counting. - That's Nate, another one, that's Robbie, he was your mom's first boyfriend. That's Tambry, these two got married in the end... - Boyfriend? - Yeah. When you start dating, you call your sweetheart a boyfriend of a girlfriend. - I know, dad. - Tyrone stressed  - But... Mom dated other people? - Sure she did.

Tyrone hasn't felt that puzzled in a long time. He knew that you have to meet your future wife at some point, but he was sure the road from there was pretty straightforward, even though he wasn't sure what that "road" was. The prospect of his mom dating, and possibly *kissing* other men than dad, on the other hand, was absolutely unthinkable! Not that kissing in general didn't make him a bit squeamish to begin with, despite his parents' assertions that "he will change your mind at some point".

- So she wasn't your girlfriend then? - No, of course not. Though that didn't stop me from being in love with her. - he winked

His dad took the album from his hands, and replaced it with a second one.

- I think that's our... third and fourth visit here... Oh, and even fifth. - he stated, looking at the dates on the first page. - I think we started dating somewhere then.

The pictures inside this album looked wildly different to the previous ones: his father was much taller and his chin was covered with patches of hair he called "a goatee"; Auntie Mabel had different hair style in practically every shot, often mimicking her friends, Grenda and Candy that Tyron vaguely remembered from one of the slightly odd and boring get-togethers. His mom looked oddly similar, if not for the fact that in many pictures she was making googly eyes to his father in the same way he was making to her.

- Yeah, there we are. I think it was our second date. Don't have pictures from the first one, the tiger smashed the camera. - A tiger? - Yeah, a sabre-toothed one. We still don't know where it came from, but boy we were sad that he ripped it to shreds. - Why? Why would he do that? - I think it's because we didn't ask him if we can take pictures of him. Tigers don't like paparazzi. Oh, it mean people, who make photos whether you like it or not. - he quickly added. - He's not talking to us anymore. Shame, he was a funny guy.

Another couple of pages went by with more pictures of his dad and mom in odd dating spots, as well as the increasing number of kissing scenes, which only made Tyrone avert his eyes in embarrassment. Noticing that, his dad took another album, and browsed through it to show him something less smoochy.

- There, look, our Halloween costumes. - he started - You know, at some point I wasn't that keen on dressing up in those, but your auntie told me there's nothing wrong with it. - Of course there isn't. - Tyrone was quick to respond - Why did you want to stop doing it? - Well, I thought that it was silly, since I was too old... I wanted to impress your mom, you see. - he spoke softly - Actually, most of these pictures could be labeled that. And I was a bit of a dummy to think that she will like me more if I'm gonna pretend to be someone else. That could be a title of many of these as well...

The pictures showed his dad in costumes, usually matching the ones his sister was wearing, with mom and Soos often appearing next to them.

- See? We used to go as pirates, king and a queen, cowboys... That's more what you wanted, right? And look, here we are in different countries!

Another set of pictures showed weird buildings, people in different clothes (including his mom and dad!), and unusual, sometimes otherworldly-looking landscapes. As if by magic, dozens of untold adventures unfolded in front of Tyrone's eyes, making his head spin. He was travelling through time, faster than he ever though he would, watching his parents and family transform and change, while still retaining the same eyes and smiles he was so used to. And at the same time, all he wanted was to hear more about the amazing life his dad and mom had before he was born.

- So, what you guys are up to?

A sudden, clam and warm voice shifted Tyrone's attention from the avalanche of questions he had, making him raise his hands into the air nearly instantaneously, waiting for his mom to pick him up.

- Mom! Look what we found! - Yeah, heard you all the way from the garden. - his mom said, taking him into her arms. - Your dad is a sentimental one, and you seem to be like him. - Hey, I just like documenting stuff. - he replied - Besides, how could I miss that opportunity?

He spread the pages of the album again, showing a photo of his mom sticking her tongue to the camera, and rolling her eyes in a comedic fashion.

- See? True beauty only Oregon can provide.     - Shush, or I will show him your pictures. - Tyrone's mom warned her husband - The one from your mom. - You wouldn't - dad yelped, his eyes widening in horror - Works every time. Now, Tyrone, It's already 7, you should go to bed. - Mom, can't we stay a bit late? - Tyrone pleaded - We were having fun with the photographs! - We can all browse them tomorrow. - she said, giving him a kiss on forehead. - Mom is gonna sit with you tomorrow, and we will see how many times your dad was making stuff up, okay?

Trying to contain giggling, Tyrone nodded and ran to the bathroom, wondering what great stories will his mom tell him the next day. He already learned way more about his parents he expected, so the prospect of getting more tidbits about their lives already made him hyped up. With his head buzzing with ideas, the evening bath passed in a blink of an eye, and Tyrone quickly found himself tucked in his bed, ready to dream about the adventures his parents are going to tell him about tomorrow.  

Having helped Tyrone with the evening routine, Wendy entered the living room, now filled with even more orange light from the bulbs, creating a familiar, cozy atmosphere. Just like her son before, she jumped into Dipper's arms, who was still browsing the albums that made this evening so much longer.  

- So, are we ever going to tell him? - Dipper asked, giving his wife a quick peck, and gently stroking her hair - He's as nosy as you or me, so I have a feeling he's going to find it on his own. - Wendy replied dreamily, snuggling into Dipper's shoulder - It will be a bit difficult though, you know. A ruler is not as cool as all the other time machines he saw in comics and movies. - Don't you wish we kept it, though? - Wendy asked - We could be going to all sorts of times and places... - Nah, I think we're fine the way we are, frankly. - Dipper confided - And what do you think? - I think you're just jealous that the crew chose me to be their pirate captain and you were just a deck hand. - Wendy replied sharply, flipping the album back to the picture of them in their pirate "costumes".

[internaldynamicofthesexyfish]

ANALOG IN, DIGITAL OUT by brendan dawes

“It’s interesting that I did not stop once to think about whether my original idea was even possible technically. I didn’t care about that. I just thought, Here’s a material that is incredibly tactile, that everyone is familiar with. Maybe it could be used as an interface. There was so “sensible” person in my ear saying that it couldn’t be done. I think the possibilities for applying it are endless, especially in the area of learning tools for children. And yet even if there were no practical application for this idea, it altered my perception of what a human/machine interface can be.”

“Whilst sitting at the departure gate at LAX waiting for my plane home from Los Angeles, I started to notice how the people rushing by seemed to come in patterns or waves. Maybe I could make something that would show these frequency patterns, I thought.“

“I look back to the seat and realize that the bits of paper I thought were just rubbish are actually origami swans! And they are for me. What a way to start the weekend – receiving origami swans from a mysterious stranger.

So why am I even telling you this story? It’s a nice little anecdote, but surely this has nothing to do with design?

Well, actually it does. What really struck me about this incident was the way the message was written. The author could have simply jotted down, “Take these swans”, on the front of the paper, so I would see it straightaway. Instead, intentionally or not, the person added an extra layer of intrigue with the message “P.T.O.” It was like coming upon a slightly open door to a room you’ve always wanted to see – impossible not to be drawn into peeking at what may or may not lie on the other side? Here on a humdrum journey from Manchester, a train ride I take every night, was a brilliant lesson in suspense and drama. All it took was some words on an old receipt, a pen, and a bit of imagination.”

“Strangely enough, as I approach the age of 40, I seem to be a lot more rebellious than I was as a kid. So much that I question things all the time – sometimes silly, trivial things, such as those little supermarket “batons” on the conveyer belt at the cashier’s stand that are meant to separate your shopping items from those of the person behind you in line. We never used to have those things and somehow everybody managed to shop perfectly well without them. But now just try not putting that baton down – you’re seen as a maverick, a subversive who won’t conform to the way it has to be! The invention of that baton is all part of the “pleasant” world we now live in. Well, I say we need more people saying “no” to those pesky little batons!

One of my favourite movies of the last few years is Pixar’s The Incredibles. I truly believe that film makes a statement about society today. We’d rather not have the odd individual with “super powers”, thank you very much; we’d just like everyone to be the same. Or the flip side of that is: We want to make everyone feel super. That way nobody gets hurt or offended. Well, as the villain at the end of the film says, “When everyone is super, nobody is.”

The fact is this: We need risk-takers in like. We need people who will stand up and say, “I’m going to do things another way.” And creativity is absolutely about taking risks.”

“Instead of simply doing my bidding and uploading the images exactly as I had planned, the FTP software had digitally intervened and created completely new imagery – all because of a mistaken setting. But the bit I love is this: Something that was never meant to create art was now part of the process of image making! 

Try it for yourself, and then see what happens when you load MP3 files up as text and play them back through the browser. Yep, the sound is “glitched” too.

I’ve always been fascinated by the process of taking a very utilitarian thing like FTP software and twisting it to do things its inventor probably never even dreamed of. Doing glitch art with FTP software was fun, but it was also quite limited in scope for creative exploration. So I moved on to another three-letter beauty: PHP.

Now, according to the official PHP site, PHP is “a widely used general purpose scripting language that is especially suited for Web development and can be embedded into HTML.” But PHP can also be used to create glitch-making machines, including ones for creating generative art. I got to thinking about screwing up Web pages: taking the raw source code, scrambling the data, and then displaying it in the browser. All I was really doing was manipulating text – nothing very special – but it was kind of fun.

[...] [This project raises] interesting observations about computers and creativity. To perform well, computers need to be error free. Yet the creative process is never error free, nor should it be. By creating or at least being aware of the nature of glitches and mistakes, we can open ourselves to seeing new possibilities and exploring interesting tangents along our creative journeys.”

“But why stop at having the passersby influence only the visual side of our creation? After all, it’s just numbers. What if we compare the last frame to the next, see what’s changed, and then make sounds based on the changed color values? The brighter the color, the brighter the sounds. A digital wind chime!

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the reasons I love using webcams and video cameras as interface devices is that there is no discernible input device. There’s no over-facing keyboard or complicated joystick to get to grips with. You just move and things happen? It’s as if the air around you is the interface. If you’ve every used the EyeToy on the Sony PlayStation, you know what I mean. It allows you to play games via a small camera mounted on your TV, using motion capture. This opens up video games to a whole new audience – people like my mum. When I bought the EyeToy, my mum played her first video game ever because she could just wave her arms and things would happen! Of course she could have learned to use a joypad, but nothing is as simple as waving your arms.

As this project demonstrates, that “waving” can happen thousands of miles away. It can happen with people who are unaware that their everyday actions are making something amazing happen on the other side of the world. Or it could be used as a giant social interaction device – using crowds of people to run about and make things happen. Just think: There is all this invisible potential being generated in public spaces by people going about their everyday lives. It’s all just input waiting for you to manipulate into some kind of fascinating output.”

“What if you had a collection of vinyl records, each of which had a cheap RFID tag attached to the record sleeve, and as simply as putting the sleeve on a tabletop, or on top of your RF-detecting Hi-Fi, the album would play, together with pictures you shot at the concert?

Now this may sound like science fiction, but as someone who thinks, lives, and breathers interaction design, I feel these issues are very important. As more of our physical world becomes digitized, we must continually ask ourselves what are we losing in the process. We need to be surrounded by the things that define us, which in turn trigger social interactions. Combine the empowerment of the digital technology with our experiences, wants, and needs in the analog world, and surely we can create a warm and human digital future.”

Analog In, Digital Out: Brendan Dawes on Interaction Design (Voices That Matter) Paperback – 6 Sep 2006

[yugihell]

Rowan Reads YGO Volume 3

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In which I liveblog my reading of Volume Three of the manga and talk about the things I found interesting, be they plot or character. Hey, there are free pictures, so it’s all cool.

In this volume Ammit is Shadi’s Gaster Blaster, Téa & Joey are BrOTP forever, Hanasaki returns as a masked avenger, Atem mentally damages a small child while teaching us his ‘Rules’ (which explain oh so much about the character), and Yugi and Joey confirm Wishshipping by having their Tamagotchis bone.

Volume 3

(This one’s slightly more in depth, because it gives some useful insight into Atem and Shadi)

Duel 16

So when we left off last time, Shadi had turned a reasonable guy into a puppet and was using him to strangle Joey.

Shadi is clearly missing some important part of himself, and has decided that telling the puppet to “make the boy’s friends suffer” is a perfectly reasonable thing to do to see the boy’s ‘power’. Instead of ‘scars of defeat’, Shadi has ‘the feeling of defeat smouldering in (his) heart’. This is also fine. Apparently.

Only Yugi can see Shadi, and everyone is getting rather panicked by this stage. Téa shows her love for Joey by smashing a globe over the professor’s head, getting him to let go.

Shadi was not expecting that.

It teaches him not to underestimate her again. To the extent that he takes over her and we get to see her soul room.

The half a second of pity is apparently not enough to stop him from turning her into a puppet though.

Joey goes all Eleventh Doctor,

And Shadi tells him he has a good friend, who would save him by sacrificing himself. And that Téa is a good friend too - and shows him what he’s done to her. We get more of an explanation for the trigger that gets Atem to front, in case we haven’t picked it up:

“That’s it… Anger! Hatred! Sadness! On the far side of your emotions…like a runner waiting for a handoff in a relay…the Other Yugi is waiting!”

He threatens to kill her, and Atem - called ‘Yugi Within Yugi’ by Shadi - comes forward.

Duel 17

Shadi isn’t as practiced at this as Atem clearly, and hasn’t prepared his rooftop game in advance, and needs ten minutes.

Seriously.

Atem just hangs around until eight o’clock.

At which point he goes to the roof, to find Téa stood on a sort of diving board and seriously did you not even TRY to stop him leaving with her you absolute MORON?!?!

“You’re not going to use her in our game!” Of course he is!!! How did you not see this coming?!

Shadi tries some sort of ‘we’re not so different, we’re both Item Bearers’ and Atem tells him to fuck off. Paraphrasing.

Turns out Atem’s kind of frightened about the power of the Puzzle, and for each weakness he shows, one of the things holding Téa’s board up will break. The game is Atem finding Shadi’s weakness - then the Key will touch Téa’s hand and she’ll be restored.

(We need some Téa and feather imagery art to go with this.)

Apparently stage one of this involves Atem seeing images of the dead rising up from the ground (or fourth story w/e it’s magic) and trying to pull him down while he’s given a riddle.

“What creeps on the ground and clings to the pillars?”

We get to see from Shadi’s eyes that there’s nothing there, which is pretty cool.

Atem tries to calm down and ignore the illusion - he’s pretty cool here - and figures out that the answer is his shadow.

I can’t do riddles. I’d have said ‘vines’ or something. RIP Téa.

Duel 18

A hole opens up in the ground, another monstrous creature - Ammit.

Atem only now pieces together that Shadi killed Kanekura. Bro.

Oh well, puzzle time. Card flip game with an uneven amount of cards. Guess what the middle plate is and you don’t get your head bitten off and your soul eaten. Except you’re not allowed to turn over any of the plates. Shadi’s hint is that the plates are a mirror of Ammit. he has five minutes.

(What the fuck???)

How dare you scare Atem! Fuck this guy.

Meanwhile Joey’s still running from our zombie friend. He promises to beat him fair and square… Then hits him with a fire extinguisher jet:

“In my fights, ‘fair and square’ means ‘anything goes’!”

But it’s about as useless as you’d expect, and he gets pushed out of the third story window, and ends up on the lip of the wall below, Téa above him, zombie-prof all but next to him, and a three story drop beneath him.

Weirdly I’d still take Joey’s position right now.

In the nick of time, Atem works out the plates mirror parts of Ammit - two eyes, nostrils, ears and hands, but only one mouth. How he knows these things without looking at the creature… uh Ancient Egyptian knowledge seeping through????

Duel 19

For the third game, he creates an image of the old bullying Joey ‘from a memory in the other Yugi’s heart’. Which is interesting.

“I caught a glimpse of those memories when I visited your soul. Even if you have forgotten, those painful memories will always remain in your heart… No matter how much time passes.” Which I think is his way of saying that the things we’ve experienced shape us as people, whether we recall those experiences or not.

They’re to throw the puzzle like a die, move in the direction it points, and whoever ends up in the pit of death first…is in the pit of death and dies. Atem thinks it’s an illusion, but can’t be sure it’s not Joey under a spell.

The illusion recreates the scene from the beginning of the manga with Joey bullying Yugi, and one of the supports breaks as Atem and Yugi are shown slightly separate for a moment: “Jonouchi’s words reminded my other self of the way things were in the past… That must be Shadi’s intent…to shock the heart of my other self…”

(Manga sure loves its ellipses)

Atem doesn’t make a single move, letting the illusion’s rolls push him further towards the edge. He says he trusts his friend. Shadi says he was testing his weakness of his heart in trusting too much.Shadi commands the illusion roll, and it doesn’t, and disappears instead.

Which is giving me callbacks to that situation with Kaiba and the 4th Blue Eyes last volume. Hmm.

The rope starts to fray (this is why you spend more than ten minutes on this shit) and Téa wobbles, but Joey’s worked his way around the building to support the beam.

This volume is Joey-Téa BrOTP forever.

Atem works out that Shadi’s weakness is his inability to trust in people, and the Key is freed.

Duel 20

Téa is now back to herself and they get her back to the roof. Atem tells Joey to touch the Key to the Professor, who, like Téa, wakes up in a precarious position. But with considerably fewer teeth.

Atem realises that the power of the Puzzle is the power of Unity. How appropriate. That would be the source of the Millennium Baedar then - you’ve used its power already and not even noticed.

And with that, Téa and Joey can see Shadi too.

Shadi mentions something about a door, and Atem shifts back again. This time though, Téa and Joey have clearly noticed something’s up, but don’t ask Yugi about it.

I couldn’t pick the best bits of this page, so have it all.

Is it:

A) Joey and Téa’s ‘Wrong?! Hahaha! What could be wrong?!’

B) Joey and Téa’s bickering over their breaking the prof’s teeth

C) How about we go out for food because who needs teeth to eat and what’s weird about this situation.

D) “I want burgers!” Trauma off a duck’s back.

(Someone write a fic where feeding people is Grandpa’s default reaction to Bad Shit)

Duel 21

Finally, Tamagotchi and no more Shadi. That’s more like it.

Yugi named his pet U2 because he’s sad and actually liked that automatically dowloaded album on his iTunes. Fairly certain that’s why.

Tristan is confirmed to have a family dog.

“Digital Pets have the ability to mate too.”

I’ll just take a 30 second wince break. Whatever happens here is going to be…something.

YEP. That’s something.

"Let’s you and I mate right away.”

It’s not even about them ‘having a baby’ - it’s just the virtual things banging each other. They don’t even male-female gender code them. How did Takahashi get that past everyone??? Well enjoy the bonus wishshipping.

Joey wants his pet to be more cute - what a softy.

Some guy’s pet turns out to be alive in there and mind controlly. Partly I’m like ‘sure, why not’ but also this is weird for the series so far, and I really do wonder if Takahashi thought they’d tell him to cut it or something, and just went a bit bananas.

Kujirada connects it up to other people’s pets and it eats them - doing it to Joey’s and Téa’s. It’s connected up the same way you get em to do-the-virtual-do and I’m not sure if this is a fucked up metaphor or if Takahashi was just high as balls.

U2 evolves like a pokemon thanks to Joey’s pet’s data and kicks its ass.

Digital Pets only last for 21 days, and U2’s time is up tomorrow. Yugi stays up all night to watch him because he’s Yugi and of course he does.

Atem was apparently having a flop day this chapter. Which is fair enough.

Duel 22 p.1

Hanasaki’s back, and this time he’s showing off his comics. Téa’s apparently not into body-builder types (good for everyone involved), Joey doesn’t knock Hanasaki down when he gets excited about his interests, and is able to get his nerd on when they go round to Hanasaki’s Zombire-filled house.

He completes one of the model kits, clearly has plenty of know-how and does a great job… But it’s one of those where you’re supposed to keep it in the box. Hanasaki comes round to the idea and says it looks better like that anyway.

Hanasaki’s Dad follows them out and asks them to stay friends with his son. Which isn’t weird at all. Apparently Dad is only really able to show support and affection to his son by giving him a lot of toys, but hey, better than a kick up the arse.

Apparently he also does this by staging fights for his son to happen upon when he’s running about in his hero costume. Social skills aren’t really a thing in this family.

The Fake-Gang-For-Hire start intimidating Yugi.

Duel 23 p.2

Hanasaki shows up and they scarper (knowing that he’s the kid they’re hired to flop against).

Hanasaki tells Yugi that he’ll deal with anyone who bullies him, and Yugi goes “O-okay…” because he’s a hypocritical shit. You look like, and indeed are, a sweet potato and how many people have you hospitalised? I appreciate you don’t remember that stuff, but still.

Dad feeds the ‘hero’ rumour to his son, who seems happy, and intends to go out again:

“I’ll be in my room, but knock before you come in, okay?”

“Don’t you think Tomoya is acting more masculine lately?”

Dad looks kind of smug with himself. Which he shouldn’t, because that was just Mom’s subtle way of saying “So our son’s hit puberty and having a wank, how do we feel about this?” because she’s a mother and knows what ‘please knock’ means.

Our Villains, chuck a ransom note through Hanasaki’s window (pretending they’ve kidnapped Yugi), and then they call Dad to say if he doesn’t pay them five times as much, they’ll beat the kid to death.

Now for a start this is stupid, because if you were getting paid nearly a grand per time you pretended to be beaten up by a kid, you’d have to be nuts not to keep that going. It’s also dumb because the dude would just call the police. In a universe with police anyway.

Instead Yugi turns up at Hanasaki’s, his Dad is distraught and together they go off to save the kid. At some point the knowledge that Hanasaki did this to save him, triggers Atem to take over.

Atem MacGyver’s a game out of a can of spray paint and a cigarette. He runs around, and is apparently a speedy bugger who’s good at spraying straight lines on the floor. The cigarette ignites the paint (I think we’re suffering a realism breakdown here, but we’ll stay with it) and creates a Maze O’ Fire.

But hey “Don’t worry… If you get out of the maze, your lives will be spared..”

This guy.

Atem then comforts Hanasaki, telling him of course he can be a hero.

Is there a ship for these two? I’m not exactly 100% OTP on board here, but I feel like there should be. It’s a surprising amount of interaction from Atem that he gets, both here and at the Karaoke thing. In fact he’s pretty much the only one who’s had any sustained interaction with Atem so far, who isn’t an antagonist. I’m just saying that Atem’s got a type - cute, big-hearted, little nerds.

Duel 24

Oh no, Capmon. This means Stabby-Mokuba’s coming doesn’t it.

Well, while Yugi’s spacing out and telling us ‘the rules’ so we can pretend we’re not just pulling this out our asses here, he gets laughed at by a younger kid, who our little pacifist-never-would-hurt-a-fly-baby-bunny would clearly like to punch in the face.

He gets instant payback, getting hit on the head by the old man who owns the machine when he shakes it after it eats his money.

Mokie appears and look, all the little ones call him ‘Kaiba’ - that’s just adorable.

When Mokuba’s calling you “a little shrimp”, that’s kind of galling.

The kids are clearly the spiritual successors to Joey’s Middle School gang. Where did you get a taser- Is that a gun?

We can add to our ‘List of reasons for Atem to front’, Yugi getting defensive about shitty kids touching his puzzle.

Every ‘Don’t touch me, Peasants’ meme is canon.

It took these kids about two seconds to work out what’s happened, and apparently Kaiba knew right from the off. Special bond indeed.

Mokuba is a cheating cheater who cheats, but hey, who isn’t.

If Atem loses, he has to cut off a finger. Maybe Mokie’s going to give it to his bro as a ‘please love me’ present.

Atem gives us his Rules of Gaming:

1: No matter what the circumstances, always act like you have the upper hand.

(fuck me that explains a lot about this guy)

2: Stay cool at all times.

(frankly I feel like that falls into rule 1, but I’m not king of games)

Atem is calling Mokuba ‘Kaiba’ and it feels weird. Partially because of ‘The One Steve Limit’, partially because he’s what, ten?

“Don’t tell me that laugh’s a stupid rule too” - you can hear his brother in him.

3: Hold your trump card ’til the end.

(well I wasn’t going to use it after the end now was I)

Atem is waaaaay too happy about mentally trapping a child inside a capsule while he screams for his big brother to help. Way too happy.

[brokebecauseconcerts-blog]

Father

John

Misty

Where oh where do I begin? I try not to pick favorites, in anything I do. I think picking favorites sets people up for failure. I figure there will be one day another candidate outshines the favorite, resulting in disappointment. But fuck it, Father John Misty is my favorite. And I trust it because there is virtually nothing he can do wrong that would take that title away- and he does a lot of textbook things “wrong”.

Josh Tillman stole my heart when I heard “I’m Writing a Novel” on WFUV Radio when I was in college (around 2012) Not knowing much about him personally, I started listening to “Fear Fun” and fell in love with his music. “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” and “Everyman Needs a Companion” landed every mixed CD (yep, still made CDS in 2012) and I decided to dig a little deeper and actually check the dude out. WOAH he’s hot! WAIT he was in Fleet Foxes? OMG he has the exact the type of humor that I adore, equal parts witty, snarky and dark. Fuck, he has a girlfriend. I’m absolutely done, they’re getting married. I can’t remember a time I fell so hard for an artist post-emo/punk/highschool days (Think Gerard Way and Travis Barker). 

However, I’m really fucking glad he was and is in such a beautiful relationship because thats how his sophomore album came to be. i wasn't sure If I’d ever love an album as much as “Fear Fun” but lo & behold: “I Love You, Honeybear” took & continues to take the damn cake. Has there ever been an album (albeit, Rumours) that has described love so honestly? It talks about the honeymoon phase in depth, the ga-ga feelings and pedestals that we put our partners on in the beginning. The way new love helps us start to feel creative again, or creative in a new, fresh way. And then after time, how love can start to get a little paranoid and jealous. It’s messy, it’s raw and it sort of made me hate his beloved Emma (who eats bread & butter like like a queen would have ostrich and cobra wine. Listen if you don't get the reference but also stop talking to me: https://open.spotify.com/track/2eg2gvPXuwZ9FyrPaLgrXi) Could you I-M-A-G-I-N-E having someone write you a love song such as that? Fun fact, I heard this song for the first time freshly after ending a 4 year relationship. Bad timing? Nah, it actually was so beautiful and uplifting that the song gave me hope and made me feel secure that I haven't found the right person yet and that I didn't just lose that person (burn). It gave me hope that I’d eventually meet someone that I could picture having a satanic christmas eve with or dance around to a mariachi band with. Spoiler Alert: FJM did help me find love. I will get to that at the end. Any who, this album ruled and continue to rules my world. The title track “I Love You, Honeybear” is about taking on the shitastic world we live in with someone you love. “Bored in the USA” is about the absurdities within our pop culture and the bullshit promise of the American Dream gone wrong. The album as a whole is romantic and existentialist and I am 100%AboutThat.com

And then we were gifted “Pure Comedy”. I write that with a sigh. Not because I am disappointed but because It’s heavy. It highlights our current political and social climate and it does so in a very dark, darker than usual way. When he realeased the video for title track, “Pure Comedy” a few short months after the election I wept at my desk. The song itself is so eerie and fantastical with the baritone sax wailing the fuck off as Donald Trump’s face slyly pops up. I Think FJM is making the point that everything happening right now is so fucking ugly and wrong that it’s absurdly funny. Not haha-funny, just...funny. As in “something smells funny”, as in our country. He attacks religion, pop-stars (gotcha, Taylor Swift), environmental issues, the delusional lifestyle of LA inhabitants, you name it. But, in true Josh Tillman fashion, and we know theres a big beating heart in there, he ends the album in a hopeful way with “In Twenty Years or So”. In the song, Tillman addresses the cosmic indifference of the universe and the existential fear that comes with it. In the first two verses he sets up the great comedy: That despite all our grand gesturing and philosophizing (with the character of Father John Misty as the embodiment of this behavior), we ultimately don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Then in the second verse he starts to assign a little more meaning to the chaos.

That in twenty years More or less This human experiment will reach its violent end But I look at you As our second drinks arrive The piano player's playing "This Must Be the Place" And it's a miracle to be alive

I *think* he’s saying, “Look, the world is fucked, we’re only getting worse, it’s too much to handle, but thank god I have you to navigate it with. And we have music, and it really all is amazing, isn't it”. I’m sorry it sounds like a basic Audrey Hepburn wannabe annotation of his beautifully written song, but It comforts me. It’s like a really elongated and philosophic way of saying “All you Need is Love”, but The Beatles beat him to it.

All in all, “Pure Comedy” takes us through a (trippy) walk of life thats starts out as that scene in Willy Wonka where they’re all taking a boat ride through the tunnel of hellish images, to a calm setting where all you want to do is hug the people you love and be left with the simple yet complex thought, “it’s all going to be okay”. Bravo FJM for creating such a mature and powerful album. I think melodically it is not for everyone, as it is much slower that what he’s done. But give it a good listen through and really listen to what he’s saying. If 2017 had to sound like anything (besides screams and tears) it would sound like “Pure Comedy”.

Kk thanks for reading.

OH WAIT, yeah I forgot this is a concert blog. Well! I saw him last night at the Kings Theatre in Flatbush, Brooklyn. A tremendously stunning place to see live music, in my opinion. He played most of “Pure Comedy” straight through, without any speeches or commentary. Nerd moment- I fuuucking love when artists do this with newly released albums. it shows they care about it, it shows they're not just trying to appease the crowd with favorites. It’s saying here is the art i just created and worked on for mad amount of time. Sit the fuck down and experience it. He did every song except the 13 minute “Leaving LA” (good call IMO) and the last two songs, yanno, the uplifiting ones. Then halfway through he broke out the oldies, a couple from “Fear Fun” and a bunch from “I Love You, Honeybear”. The whole theater was standing and dancing and watching HIM dance and holy shit I love when tall lanky men swivel their hips. Probably one of the best parts about seeing Father John Misty live is watching him break it down. He was even slow dancing with himself at one point during “Strange Encounter” and i was both turned on and hysterically laughing. One interesting point to make was that he was oddly quiet. He’s known for long on-stage rants, whether they're actually anger driven or just a comedy bit- they usually always show up on Pitchfork the next day. This was my third time seeing him and i’ve had the pleasure of hearing some of those rants and raves. This time he was quiet, appreciative and...mature? IDK I really liked it. I think it mimicked the seriousness of his newest album and demanded that you pay attention to the music and what it’s trying to say. I noticed a bunch of Brooklyn bros at the end of the show making comments like “he wasn't that funny!” “I thought he was going to talk more” and thats fine, but maybe consider why that is. After he came back on for his encore he played the last two songs on “Pure Comedy” and ended on a very special and postive note with a v sweet sun and moon setting in the background. Father John Misty is giving us hope.

Also I felt this deserved it’s own paragraph but his band absolutely blew me away. I would 100% go see them live without vocals. He had an entire orchestra + five piece band. Another additive to the experience compared to past Father John Misty concerts, as he’s always played with just a 5 piece band. It made the album come alive in the most spectacular way.

All in all, he is still my favorite. I hope to see much more from him in the future because I think he has a really really good thing going on on all levels. So back on the topic on Father John Misty and hoping to find love. JOSH, BABE. if you ever see this, I owe you some thanks. If it weren't for you and if it weren't for Tinder syncing my Facebook page likes, I never would have matched with my current partner whom we both share a massive and almost grotesque love for you & we wouldn't have anything to talk about on our first date, or a an album to makeout to for the first time. so really, thanks. At the risk of sounding like a cheese dick, It’s amazing to me that your song, the one that gave me hope and an idea of an ideal partner, led me to so much happiness. Awwwww.

Steam “Pure Comedy” & go through an existential crisis, today! https://open.spotify.com/album/3CoFoDt6zt5EKxmTpOX32b

[callmeminseok]

@plt1127 asked me to answer all of the nct questions so here they are!! under the cut <3

The 7th Sense or Firetruck? the 7th sense invented innovation

Who’s your bias? Winwin!! my bb :(

Bias wrecker? taeyong? or yuta, i have a soft spot for renjun too 

When did you start liking SMROOKIES/NCT? A month or two before Limitless

Favorite vocalist? Doyoung has the absolutely most fantastic voice imo

Favorite dancer? Ten :( where is he :(

Favorite rapper? Marky mark (HSR really did him wonders I think)

Favorite NCT Life in Seoul episode? akjnsdfksn the first one where kun is rly awkward with doyoung and jaehyun jansdjkf iconic

Favorite NCT Life in Bangkok episode? umm i cried when ten met his teachers??????? like....rly cried

Favorite ship? yutae is so pure tbh but my heart is with nct/winwin,,...he’s truly the xiuharem of nct

Dance-line or Vocal-line? Vocal vocal vocal nct has such good vocals

Vocal-line or Rap-line? rap line 

Cute Taeyong or Sexy Taeyong? i guess sexy?? really...both are good but taeyong on stage is so special

Favorite member that hasn’t debuted? K U N my man....bias wrecker in the shadows.....waiting

What song are you most excited about on the mini album? well limitless is out but I’ll say that Back 2 U is everything

Favorite ‘The 7th Sense’ stage? from the comeback show music core but that one they did in feb in the sparkly suits.......iconic...i missed ten so much

Long hair Ten or short hair Ten? long :( bb

Curly haired Jaehyun or straight haired Jaehyun? c u r l y

What hair color do you prefer on Taeyong? black.....it just..looks correct

What concept do you wish that NCT would try next? i want nct 127 to try something 90s ish or just less pseudo hip hop streetwear like.....put on some pastels or somethin lkmasklfm nct dream i wanna see in sweaters like exo’s xmas comebacks :(

If you could choose the next sub-unit to debut, who would it be? lmfao um nct china ft all my mens.....im hollering at the thought of promotions with winwin kun and renjun and chenle....like..... pl e ase

Most underrated member? taeil? vocals of the century? i think he’s frequently overlooked bc he’s so reserved, also somehow haechan i feel like is disregarded as a vocalist :/

Most likely to get a solo debut? lmfao taeyong......he’s really gonna be taemin but ft rap there’s gonna be a new mini every year for taeyong

Would you rather see NCT on Running Man or Weekly Idol? i dont really care that much for nct on weekly idol their appearances on it are......underwhelming?? like the hosts spend too much time pointing out how weak nct is at variety lmfao but i think they’d be great on running man

If you choose our fandom name, what would it be? god who wants that job maybe techies? that’s terrible lmfao nctechies im laughing NCT-L final answer

First bias? whose first bias wasnt taeyong tbh

How long did it take you to learn all their names? technically i still haven’t bc i really dont know all of the rookies, but of those who debuted i think a week or two 

Who do you want to see NCT collaborate with? exo~ lay, specifically I’d love to see nct china line with lay

Favorite fancam? the one from gayo daejeon where mark runs from his chewing gum stage to the 7th sense lmfao

Once Again or Switch? Switch

If you could choose where NCT Life Season 3 is filmed, where would you choose and why? Beijing or Tokyo, I want to see the other foreign members be happy to be in their country and be comfortable sharing it w the rest of nct like ten did (i esp want this for yuta :( )

Where do you see NCT in a year? wildly overworked, full album for 127, debut of at least one more unit, and a mini for dream 

Which member has the best fashion sense? i dont trust a single one of them.....but probably mark

Has NCT ever made you cry? yep :-) i am overwhelmed w pride 24/7

How did you discover NCT? u know that clip of xiumin and mark from mickey mouse club....here we are now

Favorite teaser pic? jisung’s first and last teaser pic.....it’s truly a work of art

Bassbot or 0701 dance practice? 0701 tbh

Most handsome member? Jaehyun

Favorite pre-debut photo? all of chenle’s predebut pics

Did you pre-order the mini-album? no :(

Cutest member? winwin~ and renjun

Sexiest member? taeyong no butts about it

Member you want to bring home to your mom? winwin im sorry this is so......repetitive i rly just love him

If you had NCT in class, what member would you most likely sit next to? taeil or doyoung....their vibes are calming and the type that i usually look for 

What member are you closest to in age? winwin only bc jaehyun is a full year older than me and winwin is only 4 months older and im a year older than mark

What member are you closest to in height? Jeno/Haechan 

If you had to choose your ideal type, who would it be? .............winwin