#like i was cutting up cucumbers making a lunch box for work tomorrow and i chug all wine like do they think i give a fuck

[thursdaysyme]

i was looked at like i was ancient (literally only 22) by my freshman roommate and her friends for getting confused at why the red wine they offered me was not only sweeter than my juice but also sparkly

my roommate told her friends i drink “fancy wine”. i drink wine from walmart on a good day she just means not sweetened to hell and back

[writerofthecourt]

bento boxes, from me to you

pairing: miya osamu x reader

summary: osamu receives a bento box from you. it’s too bad you can’t cook to save your life

warning: some swearing

a/n: i just wanted an excuse to write about food. also, writing out kansai-ben is so hard. how do other people do this??

Osamu loved food.

Of all the things in this world, food was probably one of Osamu’s top priority, triumphing even over his own twin brother. Then again, there were plenty of things in this world that Osamu loved more than Atsumu, but that was a conversation for another day. In any case, Osamu really loved food, whether it be cheap convenience store egg sandwiches, hearty tonkatsu ramen, or his mom’s home cooked meals. He had no particular preference when it came to food. To Osamu, all food was delicious and should be appreciated equally.

So imagine his surprise when he had entered his classroom from early morning practice, only to find a sizable bento box sitting on top of his desk, daintily wrapped in a simple blue cloth. Suna, who was also in his class, walked in following Osamu and raised a curious eyebrow at the box in question.

Now, Osamu was no stranger to receiving gifts from fans, it came with the territory of being a starting lineup member on a nationally recognized volleyball team. Nevertheless, he still made it a habit to never accept gifts in the form of food. Inarizaki fans could be a bit enthusiastic, and he didn’t want to set a precedent. One bento box today could mean eight bento boxes tomorrow, and he didn’t want to waste all of that food.

However, his wariness soon transformed into amusement and delight once he saw the little note and familiar handwriting peeking out from underneath the bento box. Grabbing it, Osamu read your note.

‘samu, 

you need more than just yakisoba bread for lunch! good luck with practice this afternoon, i’ll be cheering you on

-love, [y/n]

p.s. there’s enough for ‘tsumu and suna if they want. sharing is caring

Osamu fondly smiled at your note. He couldn’t wait for lunch.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, Osamu was beyond excited to uncover what kind of culinary concoction you had cooked up for him. Although he was more than capable of cooking himself a proper lunch, volleyball practice usually left him too sore and exhausted to put his culinary skills to use. His parents were also too busy with work, often leaving him and Asumu with some money to buy lunch before heading off to their respective workplaces.

Therefore, to have a home cooked meal for lunch after so long, excitement didn’t even begin to describe what Osamu was feeling at that moment. While his face remained neutral, the anticipation that radiated off of the grey haired Miya was evident enough for Suna to give him a weird look as he pulled up a seat next to Osamu’s desk.

“Hey,” Atsumu greeted as he entered the partially busy classroom and situated himself on the chair of the unoccupied desk in front of Osamu. “The hell’s that?”

“I think [Y/N] made him a bento box,” Suna explained as he unwrapped his own bento box. After a quiet prayer of thanks, Suna dug into his lunch and contently ate away at his humble meal of rice, seasoned vegetables, and grilled salmon.

“Ugh, couples,” Atsumu groaned, tearing open the plastic packaging of his store bought katsu sandwich.

Rolling his eyes at his twin’s behaviour, Osamu offered up a quick prayer of thanks as well before he unwrapped and opened his bento box. What he was greeted with was truly…something.

Noticing Osamu’s blank stare, Atsumu and Suna looked down at Osamu’s lunch before the blond Miya burst out into a deafening guffaw that made the other students of the classroom glance at the trio with strange looks.

The bento box, while containing the usual rice, vegetables, and proteins, also shamelessly gave away tell-tale signs that you weren’t exactly skilled in the kitchen. The carrots and cucumbers were sliced hilariously uneven, the tamagoyaki looked like a misshapen lump of egg, and the poor, poor octopus sausages. Yet the greatest offender would have to be the nori decorated illustration you had tried to top the rice with. Was that supposed to be him?

“Oh my god, i-it’s ‘Samu!” Atsumu wheezed, trying to catch his breath. “I-I always knew ya were ugly, but I-I didn’t think [Y/N] would actually agree with me!”

“We have the same face, dumbass,” Osamu retorted with a scowl.

Atsumu continued to laugh away, clutching his chair for support while Osamu glared daggers into his brother’s face. Suna, on the other hand, simply whipped out his phone and snapped a not-so-stealthy picture of Osamu’s lunch. He stared at it for a bit before grimacing.

“Yikes,” Suna whispered as he expertly tapped away at his phone before returning it to his pocket and resuming his lunch.

Osamu scoffed at Atsumu and Suna’s antics. Surely, it tasted better than it looked. Gathering a little bit of everything, Osamu shoved the ball of food into his mouth and immediately regretted it. The rice was overly mushy, the tamagoyaki was too sweet, the sausages were burnt, and the vegetables had a bitter, medicinal taste to them. Simply put, everything was terrible.

Shooting up from his desk, Osamu immediately charged out of the classroom, looking pale and sweaty, with a hand over his mouth to prevent his food from making a reappearance.

Watching Osamu leave, Atsumu and Suna looked at each other in horror before glancing back at the supposedly innocent bento box. They then proceeded to back away from it as if it was now emanating some sort of dark and menacing aura.

“…I’ll give you ¥500 if you eat a piece of the tamagoyaki,” Suna challenged.

“Bet!”

Atsumu quickly followed after his brother.

As the school bell rang, signalling the end of the day, Osamu slowly packed up his things, being careful not to make any sudden movements that would further upset his stomach. Despite everything Osamu had gone through, he still managed to somehow finish off your bento box, not wanting to let your hard work go to waste.

Practice was in thirty minutes, and Atsumu stood outside of the classroom door, yelling at his brother and Suna to hurry it up so that they wouldn’t be late.

“Ya look like shit,” Atsumu remarked once Osamu and Suna exited the classroom.

I feel like shit, Osamu thought, clutching his stomach as it let out an upset rumble.

Before he could even respond, a sweet voice from down the hall redirected his attention.

“‘Samu!” you called out as you reached the three volleyball players. “And ‘Tsumu and Suna, of course.”

Osamu smiled as you wrapped your arms around his waist and beamed up at him. He greeted you back before placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Whipped!” Atsumu mocked as Suna, who stood beside him, made a whipping motion with his hand.

“Yer just mad that ya can’t make any lasting relationships and that yer last girlfriend broke up with ya for a co-worker,” Osamu shot back immediately, not missing a beat.

Atsumu stared at his brother in shock, failing to say anything in retort. With an angry huff, he marched towards the direction of the gym, calling for Suna to follow after him. Suna simply rolled his eyes before nodding goodbye to you and Osamu as he headed off to catch up with Atsumu.

You waved Suna farewell before leaning against your boyfriend as he led you to a less populated section of the hallway.

“So,” you began eagerly. “Did’ja like the bento box I made ya?”

“Yeah,” Osamu flawlessly lied, no longer looking at your face as the guilt consumed him. Reaching into his bag, he held out the bento box for you to take, all neatly wrapped up in its signature blue cloth once again.

“That’s great!” you beamed while taking the bento box from him. “I stayed up all night making sure that it was perfect. I wasn’t sure about the seasoning, but I’m glad it turned out well!”

As you animatedly chattered away about all of the steps that you had gone through in order to make his lunch, Osamu couldn’t help but notice the several bandages covering your fingers.

“What happened to yer fingers?” Osamu asked, his voice laced with concern. He took a hold of your hand, running his thumb across the smooth texture of one of the many bandages.

“Oh,” your face began to heat up with embarrassment, “I-I kinda cut myself while cooking, but it’s okay! Yer worth it, ‘Samu.”

“What d’ya mean by that?” he asked, confused by your last statement.

“Well, yer always hard at work with volleyball,” you explained with a proud look on your face. “Tournaments are coming up soon, and I know that practice will only get tougher from here on out! I just wanted to help ya in any way that I could. A growing athlete needs a proper meal, so…”

Smiling shyly to yourself, you no longer looked at Osamu, choosing instead to stare off to the side in embarrassment at your own confession. Osamu couldn’t help but feel his heart palpitating in his chest. All this effort, all those cuts, they were all for him because you loved and cared for him.

“[Y/N],” Osamu whispered, leaning down to wrap his arms around your frame.

Stop it, he told himself. Tell her the truth.

Digging his face into your neck, Osamu placed a soft kiss on the exposed landscape of your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “Thank ya. I’d be more than happy if ya kept cooking for me, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Shaking your head, you brought up a hand to run your fingers through Osamu’s soft locks. “Not at all! I’d be happy to!”

Osamu smiled. “I’m glad.”

He was so fucked.

As the week went on, your bento boxes became a permanent fixture in Osamu’s life, greeting him every morning as he entered the classroom, its soft, blue cloth taunting him and mocking him as he pushed himself to eat every single one of your meals. Atsumu called him crazy for putting himself into this situation, while Suna took some sort of sadistic pleasure in recording his struggles with your cooking.

“Just tell [Y/N] the truth!” Atsumu told him one time during practice when Osamu had to sit out due to severe stomachaches.

How was he supposed to do that? How could he tell you the truth after nearly a week of putting on this lie? Besides, every time he tried to work up the courage to tell you the truth, you would just smile at him as he handed back the empty bento box, giggling in pure happiness when he told you that he had eaten everything because your cooking was so good. Every time he saw how accomplished and happy you looked, he felt his resolve crumble.

He was weak, he knew that, but he wasn’t going to admit it to Atsumu of all people. At least he couldn’t die from eating your food…right?

“Yer gonna die if ya keep eating [Y/N]’s food,” Atsumu proclaimed as he, Osamu, and Suna made their way towards the gym for practice. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but ma and pa would be bawling their eyes out.”

“Shuddup, ‘Tsumu,” Osamu snapped back. This situation was already causing him enough physical and emotional stress as it was, and he didn’t need his obnoxious twin brother to make it worse.

“I’m just sayin’,” Atsumu said, raising his hands up in mock surrender. “I mean, it’s kinda impressive with how much ya been puking lately.”

“Listen, I know her food’s bad, but what am I supposed to do about it?” Osamu angrily asked as the three of them reached the entrance of the gym.

Atsumu paused for a moment, bringing a hand to his chin to contemplate as if he actually had a brain up there in his head. “Hmm, tell her the truth? Ya could try that.”

“I’m not gonna do that-”

“Uh, guys,” Suna interrupted, pointing to a familiar figure behind them. There you stood with a large tupperware filled to the top with poorly shapened onigiri balls, all made the previous night and meant to be shared with the Inarizaki volleyball club.

Tears rolled down your face, indicating that you had heard their conversation. Without a word, you ran back into the school, leaving a shocked Osamu behind.

“[Y/N], wait!” Osamu called out as he took off after you.

“Oi, ‘Samu! What about practice—and he’s gone…”

An awkward silence soon enveloped the air before Suna spoke up. “…¥1,000 says that they break up today.”

“Not now, Suna.”

As Osamu chased you through the empty school halls, he had never been more grateful for all his years of volleyball, as his superior height and stamina allowed him to easily keep up with you and eventually catch you.

“[Y/N]!” Osamu shouted as he managed to grasp your shoulder, pinning you against the wall in some remote corner of the staircase.

“Let me go, ‘Samu!” you seethed, trying to push him away. It was a difficult task considering he was basically a wall of lean muscle. “I don’t wanna talk right now!”

“No, please! Just listen to me,” Osamu desperately tried to explain. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to hurt yer feelings after ya had worked so hard on those bento boxes-”

“I’m not upset about the bento boxes!” you snapped harshly. “Sure, I’m a little upset about that, but I’m a lot more upset with the fact that you didn’t seem to trust me enough to tell me the truth!”

Osamu quickly shut his mouth after that.

“I-I thought this relationship was built on trust and communication,” you continued wobbly, a new wave of tears falling from your eyes. “Did’ja really think that I’m not mature enough to handle some criticism? Like you needed to lie in order to keep me happy? D-did’ja really have no faith in me?”

Processing your words, Osamu came to the realization that you were right. Did he have no faith in you? Of course not, Osamu thought the world of you. You were always the mature one in the relationship, always finding out ways to calm him down after a fight with Atsumu or cheering him back up when the pressures of school and volleyball weighed heavily on his mind. At that moment, Osamu knew he was wrong.

“[Y/N], I-I’m sorry. Yer right,” he admitted as the shame and guilt began to creep up on him. He looked at your tear-stained face and gave you a sombre smile before wiping your cheeks clean. “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend.”

“No, yer not a shitty boyfriend,” you said as you hugged him, finally calming down after your emotional outburst. “Ya were just trying to protect my feelings…”

“Yeah, but I went about it the wrong way. I shoulda just told ya from the beginning. I’m sorry.”

You sighed as you buried yourself deeper into Osamu’s chest, his warmth and scent calming you down further. “I accept yer apology. No more lies, okay?”

“Yeah,” Osamu agreed softly before cupping your face to capture your lips in a tender kiss. As you melted into the kiss, you brought up a hand to tangle in your boyfriend’s hair. After the two of you separated, you both chuckled at each other’s dazed and out of breath state.

“If yer free this Sunday, why don’t I come over to yer house and teach ya how to cook,” Osamu suggested as he rubbed the skin underneath your pretty eyes.

“Isn’t that yer free day? Don’t ya wanna rest?” you asked him seriously.

“It’s fine. Cooking’s fun, and it’ll be even more fun with ya there. Besides,” Osamu grinned, remembering your words from a week ago, “yer worth it, [Y/N].”

You smiled, knowing exactly what he was referencing. “It’s a date then!”

The following week, Suna and Atsumu gathered around Osamu’s desk as per their usual lunchtime routine. The two of them warily glanced at Osamu as the grey haired Miya brought out an all too familiar bento box wrapped in a blue cloth.

Saying a quick prayer of thanks, Osamu unwrapped his bento box and began to eat away at his meal of rice, salad, and crispy karaage chicken. Atsumu and Suna stared in shock as Osamu devoured his lunch with a pleased smile and delighted hum.

“Uhhh, are ya seeing this shit, Suna?” Atsumu whispered to the middle blocker in bewilderment.

“Maybe he’s built up a resistance to it,” Suna reasoned, continuing to cast Osamu a strange look.

Sneaking a peek at Osamu’s lunch, Atsumu and Suna’s eyes widened at the delicious and aesthetic display of food: fluffy white rice, crisp and crunchy vegetables sliced up in perfect uniformity, and perfectly fried karaage chicken shining with sauce.

“O-oi, ‘Samu, let me have a bite,” Atsumu demanded, feeling his mouth water at the enticing sight and smell of the food.

“What the hell? No,” Osamu answered back, pulling the bento box away from Atsumu’s immediate range. “[Y/N] made this for me.”

“Don’t be greedy, ya stingy bastard,” Atsumu snapped, lunging out of his seat to make a grab for the bento box.

A fight soon broke out between the two Miya brothers as the other students around them all sighed and shook their heads in amusement. Just another day at Inarizaki High.

Meanwhile, Suna, who had remained in his seat, silently pulled out his phone and began to record Osamu shoving Atsumu’s face away with his elbow, keeping his precious bento box out of the blond’s reach.

“WorldStar,” Suna whispered as he zoomed in on Atsumu tripping over some desks in a desperate attempt to grab the bento box.

Just another day at Inarizaki High indeed.

fun fact: atsumu never got his money from suna, and kita made osamu run five laps around the school when he finally showed up for practice

[loveandfictionforall]

I am as fine as a daisy

Hey guys, I thought maybe you would like to read it here too :) I posted it also on fanfction.net. It is just the first chapter :) 

Humming quietly to herself, Beth was standing in the kitchen of the Gilbert house. Today was the first day after the summer break and she wanted to make sure that she got everything ready for her younger siblings. The last months were hard and she was quite often overwhelmed as she was appointed as the legal guardian of Elena and Jeremy. Stricken with grief she had to pull herself together to be able to support both of them, even though she thought she was failing throughout. 

With quick fingers, she picked the water heater up and poured the hot, steaming water in a large pot which had a filter filled with fresh and dried herbs in it. After filling the water up to the brim of the pot, she laid the water heater down and began making the best sandwiches of the whole town! Giggling she shook her head, a large smile showing some of her teeth as she praised herself. Nevertheless, she knew that the Grill made the best sandwiches but someday she would be as good as them! 

With nimble fingers Beth she put on the toast some cheese, ham, potatoes, and cucumbers. Quickly she cut them into those silly triangles and narrowly missed her fingertips.

“Oh, fuck. That was close.”, she grinned to herself and rolled her shoulders as a small sign of discomfort. She hated wounds on her fingers. They hurt more than any other wounds. Deliberately slow the young woman wrapped the sandwiches and laid them next to two thermoses. Throwing a quick look at the pot she noticed how well the tea was processed. Taking a deep breath she could smell faintly the different herbs which mixed together, shuddering slightly as she thought of the delicious taste of her own special tea. Carefully she picked the pot up, the tea swapping against the brim and running down at the outside of the pot. Annoyed with herself she rolled her eyes and turned to the thermoses to fill them. 

Just as she finished filling the thermoses she could hear a door closing upstairs before a pair of feet began running down the stairs. 

“Good morning, sister.”, greeted Elena as she leaned against the fridge while she watched with amused eyes how her big sister was scurrying around, trying to get everything together and ready to go. 

“Greetings.”, Beth replied as she turned towards her sister, her big smile like always in place. “How’s it going?”, she asked at a fast pace, her tone as always light while she wiggled her eyebrows and made Elena crack a smile.  

“It…”, the smaller girl began, then trailed off and looked on the floor, watching the bare feet of her sister tapping a rhythm she didn’t know. “I will try my best. I will be happy again and reply to everyone asking that I am better.”, she said, trying to be determined. 

“I know you will.”, pulled Beth her out of her dark thoughts. “It just takes some time.”, she added and her smile shrank a bit. A small silence began as both girls were getting lost a little in their thought. 

“Oh, by the way.”, Elena spoke up again, a small smile pulling her lips up and making her eyes sparkle a bit. “Bonnie will drive me to school.” As an answer, the brunette began nodding rapidly. 

“And Jeremy?” Hardly her words had left her mouth Beth and Elena could hear someone stomping down the stairs. With a crooked smile and his backpack just thrown on one shoulder, Jeremy walked into the kitchen and began putting his thermos and sandwiches in his open backpack. 

“I will walk.”, Jeremy casually said and walked then towards the door, just stopping to put his shoes on. “Bye.”, he gave them a small wave and disappeared.

“Well, that answers my question.”, Beth off-handly said and turned towards the pot in the sink to begin filling it with cold water. Elena looked at her with wide eyes.

“Doesn’t it bother you?”, she asked and Beth instantly knew that Elena was triggered by her casual comment. Sighing to herself and with a small roll of her eyes, she turned her head towards her sister. “Duh, of course not but what should I do, hm? I will talk with him after work.”, the woman responded with her light voice but without a smile. 

“Speaking of work,”, Beth added as she turned towards the pot again, deliberately ignoring her sister’s disapproving stare while watching the water run into the pot, “I will be home late today. Can you order some pizza before I get home? My work ends at 7.” 

Huffing Elena crossed her arms before her chest before she nodded. Without further talking, she began picking up her lunch. 

“I will go now, Bonni is probably waiting now.”, she shortly announced. Beth didn’t respond and as she heard the door fall shut, she let out a loud groan while rolling her shoulders annoyed. 

“Why did I agree to be their legal guardian?”, she asked herself, pissed off with the whole situation. “As if Elena would handle Jeremy better.”, she added bitterly.

After some deep breaths, Beth pulled herself together and put on her large smile. With fast steps, she left the house too and got into her car to drive to the cemetery. 

Just as always Beth first tended to all the graves and other patches of grass and flowers. It took her some hours to work through everything and after her break, she was finally finished. With a smile and sparkling eyes, she walked towards her very own special place in the cemetery. Here she was growing all kinds of herbs and flowers for her daily use. While she always watered her plants, she noticed how some of them were ready to be harvested. Again she began to quietly hum to herself as she kneeled down and gently pulled them out. One by one she filled the vervain herb in her small, braided basket.  She took more than enough vervain so she would be able to give some to the Council. A small annoyed huff left her mouth as she thought about the Council. She still couldn’t understand how they would only want vervain while there were other herbs just as useful as it. Pushing these thoughts away she also harvested some more plants like Basil, Angelica, Clove, and Marjoram. All of them covered the vervain. 

After she put them all in her small basket, Beth began taking a casual stroll through the graveyard while looking out for some tasks she could give herself until the end of her shift. It didn't take long until she noticed the person standing before some graves. Not recognizing him she walked towards him, set on introducing herself. 

“Hello stranger.”, she said as she was directly behind him, just mere inches before his back. Surprised by the closeness the young man quickly turned and looked with wide eyes down to the smaller woman, standing right in his personal space. With her large, bright smile and her sparkling eyes, she didn’t look like a threat. 

“Uh, hi.”, he responded uncomfortably and leaned a bit back. 

“Who are you? I don’t know you and I know everybody.”, she chirped as she stared at him without blinking. The young man before her began scratching his head. 

“I am new here. I lived here as a kid and now I am back. I am Stefan Salvatore.”, he answered her and she hummed quietly. 

“Salvatore, huh? Well, I am Elisabeth Gilbert. Nice to meet you!”, she introduced herself while she looked up and down at him, noticing the lapis lazuli ring on his finger. “Hope to see you again sometime.”, added and waved before she walked away, silently thinking to add more vervain into the food and water for her siblings and her. 

Stretching as much as she could until her bones popped, Beth let herself flop down on the couch where her sister sat with the pizza. 

“How was school?”, she asked while she pulled a pizza box onto her lap and inspected the pizza in it. It took some seconds until Elena responded.

“We have a new guy at school.”, she began and Beth gave her a wicked smile while wiggling her eyebrows. Snorting, Elena hit her sister against her arm and rolled her eyes. 

“And does he have a name?”, she asked curiously even though she had an assumption. 

“Stefan.”, Elena answered shortly and took a quick bite from her pizza to avoid talking too much about him. Beth’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ as she stared at her sister who tried to ignore it. Nodding she agreed to finish this topic and move on. 

“Oh, tomorrow there will be a bonfire.”, the younger sister added after she finished her pizza. “I think I will go.”

“Sure you do.”, replied Beth and stood up. Taking her pizza box with the last slices she turned to the stairs and began her way to Jeremy’s room. 

Gently she knocked on his door and waited until he yelled “Enter!”. 

“Hey, Jer.”, she greeted her young brother and walked to his bed where he laid, leaning against the headboard. Putting the pizza box on his bedside table, she sat down on the edge of his bed and watched him silently for some seconds. She noticed his slightly red eyes which were locked firmly on his phone while he ignored her stare. 

“Jer..”, she began but he interrupted her. 

“Don’t say anything if you want to lecture me or are trying to be a ‘sensible parent’”, he said annoyed and looked at his sister who closed her mouth again. After some awkward seconds, she sighed. 

“How about some cool material arts classes? Or some painting classes? Some self-defense classes? Just you and me.”, she suggested and ignored the sting in her heart as he rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“Just go.”, he replied shortly and looked down on his phone again. Beth didn’t know what she should do. 

“Okay.”, she whispered, her typical smile vanished as she looked sadly at her younger brother. She felt so helpless as she couldn’t help him with his grieving. He was slipping. And that fast. 

Quietly she left his room and went into her own, undressing and taking a shot of water mixed with some vervain. Tomorrow she would deliver the vervain to Liz and repaint the threshold with water and mix it with some of her herbs.

[readyplayerhobi]

Honey Tea

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 2.2k

; Synopsis: A bad day is always made better by something soothing and warm, which is exactly what you get in the form of Jung Hoseok.

; A/N: Just something I wrote as I was feeling a bit down and wanted to be cheered up with Peppermint Hobi <3 just like honey tea, he’s soothing and calming. Obviously this is part of the Peppermint world. It’s unedited but whatever.

-

Today had been a crap day. A really, terrible day that had made you just wish that you could go home, go to sleep and get to tomorrow already. You didn’t even really have an exact reason to blame to justify why it had been a bad day. It was just one of those where everything went wrong.

You’d struggled to write an article that Taehyung had suggested to you this morning when you’d found yourself at a complete writer’s block. It had only been after you’d managed to slog through half of the article that your computer had promptly died and it hadn’t bothered to autosave for some god forsaken reason.

And then the deli down the street messed up your order and gave you cucumber for some god forsaken reason. In the whole time you’ve worked at Poppin’ Culture, you have never asked for cucumber. For good reason! The very smell of it makes you gag, so you’d been just delighted to have to almost throw away $5 worth of food because cucumber is an insidious food which infects anything it touches with its taste.

Jimin had been highly amused by your disgust and had traded you his lunch instead, happily eating your tuna salad with cucumber while you got stuck eating a sad cup ramen that didn’t even taste good.

Then you’d discovered that there was no peppermint tea left in the kitchen to make the drink that calmed you down the most, leaving you furious for the rest of the afternoon. To top it all off, Hoseok hadn’t been at work all day due to being at a gaming convention with the games team to help record videos there.

All you really wanted right now, was to curl up with your boyfriend on his couch and watch him play one of those RPG games he adores so much while you munch down on the delicious pizza he can get delivered from that place near him.

Instead, you’re stuck on your own couch wrapped up in a blanket in some ratty old pyjamas that look terrible but are comfy. And your food option is going to be mediocre Chinese from the restaurant down the block that you can never quite tell if you like or not. But you can’t be bothered to cook, because all you want to do is slob on the couch and watch a box set of something.

Not Breaking Bad, because you really just can’t get into it despite all the critical acclaim and Hoseok begging you to just watch it.

Instead, you’ve clicked onto Sabrina on Netflix and begin rewatching the series from the start. Neither you nor Hoseok had quite known what to expect once you’d started watching it, yet you’d both been pleasantly surprised with what you’d seen and had devoured the second season when it had arrived.

You only get five minutes into the first episode when your doorbell rings, causing you to pause Netflix and scowl at the door. Who the hell is coming by your apartment at this time and why are they interrupting your brooding time?

Groaning quietly, you stand and shuffle over to the door while wondering if maybe you’d ordered something. You normally get your stuff delivered to Hoseok’s lately as you’re there more often than not and his neighbour is nicer than yours.

Yours just likes to bitch at you and moan because they’d taken a parcel, as if you’d asked them to defend the nation or some bullshit. So it was just easier as Hoseok’s neighbour liked you and constantly tried to feed you cookies every time you went over. It was honestly to the point that Hoseok pouted a little at the attention you got, leading to you giving him half of the cookie every time.

Unlocking the door, you pull it open just enough to peer through with a moody face before you practically light up with happiness. Swinging the door open, you let out an excited noise before rushing forward to wrap your arms around your boyfriend, who laughs and holds the pizza box he’s holding in the air to prevent you from knocking it to the floor.

The boyfriend who should not be here but instead hundreds of miles away.

“Hobi! What are you doing here?! You’re supposed to still be at the convention!” You rush out, looking up at him with a grin as your chin rests on his chest. Already you feel better, just feeling his solid warmth in your arms and the comforting scent of him.

“Well...they decided that they weren’t going to film tomorrow as it was the last day. So there was no need for me to be there and I got the earliest flight I could.” He’s shuffling you into your apartment slowly, a strange little dance that involves him trying to keep you upright as you seem to be refusing to let go of him.

It’s only when he gives you an exasperated look, his eyes wide behind his glasses while he presses his lips together to try and hold in a laugh that you finally let go, hands moving off him hesitantly before you stand back with a pout.

“But you love those conventions, and that means you could have just spent tomorrow looking at all the cool games and playing them. Didn’t you say that erm...what’s it called is going to be there and you really wanted to play it? Err...Last of Us?” You could barely remember what he got excited over as he got excited over a lot of stuff, but this was a game you didn’t understand why he liked it. It was horror, and he didn’t do well with horror.

Yet he still loved it and went on about it constantly to you.

Hoseok moves past you after kicking off his shoes and heads into your tiny living room, shrugging off his backpack onto the floor before sitting on your couch. His apartment is bigger than yours, and you miss it intensely as he sits there. There’s something oddly comforting about all the nerd memorabilia of his place, making it look far more lived in than your place.

“It’s there, yeah. But I wanted to come home to you. Jimin messaged me this morning and said you’re not in a good mood so...yeah.” Your earlier bad mood seems like a distant memory now and you want to just sit on his lap and kiss him silly, the shy happiness at him voluntarily giving up something he was excited for to come home to you almost threatening to overwhelm you.

How anyone could dislike this sweet man was beyond you.

Sitting next to him, you accept the slice of pizza with a tiny thanks before you find yourself leaning against his shoulder and sighing heavily. He doesn’t say anything, just takes a bite of his own pizza and lets you stew for a few minutes before you take a bite of your own.

It’s from the place near him, the one that you’d been craving about and suddenly you’re feeling a little bit overwhelmed. The days emotions and stresses finally crack and you sniff pathetically, tears rising as you look down at your pizza slice as if it might have all the answers.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Hoseok asks softly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you tightly into him as he puts his slice back down before putting yours down too. Soft lips press to your forehead and he’s shifting you till you’re as close to him as you can get, legs laid over his lap. “Did something bad happen? You didn’t say anything in your texts?”

Shaking your head, you burrow your head into his neck and inhale him deeply. His innate sense of calm that he always carries with him is soothing right now, his hand making long and relaxing strokes along your back and you feel safe.

“It’s dumb, it’s just...I’m just being stupid. I just...everything felt like it went wrong today and I got super upset and stressed over it all. I’m just...overreacting.” You say pathetically, trying to reassure him that it was just you being silly over it all. Thinking back on it, you certainly felt like you’d over-reacted and felt a little embarrassed that Jimin had even messaged him about it.

Hoseok doesn’t say anything for a moment, just holding you close before he lets out a quiet and rests his cheek against your head. You let your fingers trail over his Pokémon shirt, long since used to his pop culture related fashion.

“Don’t say that, and don’t think that. If you were feeling stressed and upset, then you were feeling stressed and upset. You don’t have to justify it to me or even yourself, okay? Sometimes you just have bad mental health days, and that’s okay. I’m not going to laugh at you, you know I’m the last person who would do that. Obviously things have just piled up for you and today is the day you’d had enough. Are you still upset?” Lips pouting almost childishly slightly, you shake your head as best you can with it jammed between his shoulder and jaw.

“Good, do you want to talk about it?” He lets the question hang in the air and you ponder for a moment, wondering if you actually want to talk about anything or not. Eventually, you shake your head once more before leaning back till you can look at him.

Up this close, you can see almost every pore on his face from the tiny red dot that’s evidently a spot forming to the slightest bit of stubble on his upper lip. He has a ridiculously slow hair growth on everywhere except his damn head, where it grows like lightning and he has to get it cut at least once a month. But facial hair? The man can go days with only the slightest growth.

And he’s quite evidently been lax at the convention, leading to you running your finger over it with a teasing smile. “No, I’m okay. Honestly. Nothing to talk about, just...me getting a bit stressed and I think I missed you more than I realised. I feel okay now, I swear.”

He shifts his head away from you with the slightest scowl, his black rimmed glasses sliding down the elegant slope of his nose a bit more at the movement while his dark hair falls into his eyes, causing him to shake his head once more. Just as you’d said, he needed to get it cut already.

“Okay...but if you want to talk-” You cut him off by reaching up to cup his cheeks, running your fingers along the still smooth skin of his cheeks and squeezing until his lips purse out in a pout. He’s giving you a rather unimpressed look with his eyes, but you know he’s amusing you to make sure that you’re okay.

“No, I’m fine. I just want to eat pizza and cuddle with you. This, us, it’s what I needed. Thank you for coming back early.” Whispering by the end, you let one hand drop while the other plays with the collar of his shirt, running along the edge until you reach his black hoodie.

He sighs before kissing your head again and taking your hand, interlinking your fingers and playing with it carefully. “You’re welcome. I’d rather be here with you than in a room full of people I don’t know. I don’t like going to them without you, it’s just too much noise and people and...yeah.”

Smirking at him, you lean up to kiss at his jaw teasingly. “That’s sweet. I hope you were okay while there too. And I’m guessing the fact that you can get sex here has nothing to do with coming back either right?”

Hoseok is sputtering, his cheeks turning a bright red that rivals when he’s drunk as he looks all around the room and his free hand running through his hair nervously. “W-wha-what, no?! That’s not w-why I c-came back! I love you, that’s why! The s-s-sex is...a bonus.”

“I’m kidding, I doubt you even thought of that. But I will say that I love you, and thank you for thinking of me. It means a lot.” You lean forward and grab both pizza slices before feeding one of them to him, not even sure which slice was who’s anymore.

He watches you warily for a moment before accepting and nodding slowly. “I’m always thinking of you so, no need to thank me. And I love you more.”

“Are you wanting sex or are you trying to butter me up to let you play that game I don’t like again?” You eye him, narrowing your gaze on him as he steadfastly refuses to look in your direction even as you can see him trying to press his lips together.

“Sex?”

“Oh, you so want to play it don’t you? I hate it! Why can’t you play it when I’m not there?”

“Because I like playing games with you! And I like it!”

“Fine, but only because you brought me this pizza.”

“I love you.”

[smalllikeafairy]

8/12/19 Diary of a Calorie Counter

I want to be skinny so bad. And then I still eat meals and snack and snack and indulge and this is what I want you (myself) to reread before doing any of those things again. Before you eat, snack, go out out to lunch, choose dinner..... remember this:

You just ate chicken noodle soup and cereal and you feel fat.

You feel your stomach full and you hate it.

You want to look skinny for your trip.

You want to wear mom jeans, skirts, dresses, crop tops, A BIKINI and look HOT!

You want to look better than your friend and better than any of the other girls at the beaches or the clubs or in the streets of the beautiful cities your visiting in 2 weeks.

You look at yourself in the mirror and on the scale and in photos and you can’t stand what you see.

So do something about it... Please..

If you’re hungry... drink 4 cups of water first. If you’re still hungry, drink a glass of green tea. If you’re still hungry, eat a cucumber, or pickles. Eat soooo slow even if you’re so hungry and don’t put a lot on your plate so you feel obligated to eat it all.

If you’re bored... do not eat your feelings. Do something!! Please. Please paint, or create, journal, blog, write, sleep, take Pluto out for a long walk, drink tea, clean. Please do not eat if you’re bored because you need to save those calories for when you’re starving.

If you’re out eating... get the most healthiest thing on the menu. Look up the calories. Drink water. And tons of diet soda. Again, drink as many glasses of water before you eat as possible and ask for a Togo box right away. Put most of it away and only eat a small portion. Please do not indulge or binge just because you’re out eating. You will still feel fat and regret once you leave .

If you’re at work and a snacking opportunity arrives/you’re hungry... again, drink water. Next, make yourself busy. Clean, pickup a table, clean your shoes, write why you don’t want to eat at your job. For example, your stomach hurts after eating greasy food, you’re spending money that you could be bringing home with you, you look chubby snacking infront of everyone, all these other girls are so skinny in their uniform and you have a muffin top, you want to fit into XS shorts, you don’t want the cooks to think of you as the fat hooters girl.

If you are craving sweets... eat a 1.5 cal cookie, drink Diet Coke, put on a face mask or paint your nails. Do not eat desserts because In order to become skinny you have to stay from anything sweet.

If you’re craving a binge... set a time a day in the week in your planner for one. Plan out exactly what you want to eat. Then make it healthier- cut out unnecessary calories, how much you’ll eat of it, what you can emit. And do not binge in that moment. Wait.

When all of the above come about you’re going to think to yourself: I’ll start tomorrow, it’s not that much over my calorie limit, I’m so hungry, I don’t look that fat, it’ll be fine, I need calorie fluctuation... and I thought all those before I ate whatever I wanted and now I feel miserable, fat, disappointed, regret, upset with myself, back to square one, sad, a fraud.

I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I want to feel skinny, happy, proud, hot, sexy, thin, dainty.

You have only so many days to loose 20 pounds. You can do it you just have to be strong minded, motivated, determined. You gotta he 100% that bitch.

Everyday you can read this and stick to these points, add a motivational quote to this thread. You got dis. Please please don’t give up and start all over again tomorrow. It’s a dangerous and crude cycle. You’re breaking it today. 🦋

[putsben]

I woke up early this morning, at 6:41am with Uncle next to me - half asleep and I saw Abam was flipping his wing, might be sleepy.

I went to heat up the kettle, made our morning coffee like usual ritual for us before I hit the shower.

We had our morning conversation, while I was getting ready and preparing myself to hop on the train.

I hop on closest train station, Lembah Subang around 8:19am, and stopped at Kerinchi at 8:34am. Free and easy ride for me to Bangsar South, I was a bit high to be honest but I just need to keep my light head for today. I know it is shit but I just have to, come on. Cut me some slack.

I went to have breakfast at Surian food court, I had fried kuey teow with sambal cockles and fried egg with some condiments, fried ikan bilis and slice cucumber and kopi ais kaw for my drink. I took my time to enjoy my meal as I did back then when I was working in the same place, at Common Ground Bangsar South. What a lovely memorable moments where I spent my most time alone. I don’t really like having my meal with people around, I am mostly tend to enjoy my food alone, take photos of it and just capture the moment on my own.

It is weird and shrinking feelings but it works for me, my head and I don’t seem to tolerate much with people.

Later after breakfast, I went with my boss to client’s office to collect item for us to bring together with me, flying to Cebu for an event. All that necessary must be there or else, we are dead!

I stopped by at the nearest clinic to our office, I went to get myself COVID test as it needed upon arrival at the airport gate in Philippines. I just did antigen test, and I got a call from clinic saying that I am positive and I was shocked. I did not have the symptoms and I have been running away from it for 3 years now. I went to the clinic, checked myself the test kit and it showed just one visible line instead of two. Later then, I did another test kit to clarify that I am negative and it showed negative. I was praying hard to God and I know this damn well because I just don’t want to have anything last minute considering on I have taken care of myself perfectly for the past few years because I know I am very much responsible to whatever and activities I’m attending.

I dropped by McDonald’s, bought quarter pounder set and porridge for Uncle. I had my lunch at his place since it’s nearby to our office.

I returned back to office, with kopi o ais kaw in my hand. Walked up to the office, went through our checklist on things to do for the following days in Cebu and packed all the stuff. My dad came to fetch and helped me with collecting the boxes. It helps a lot though since I have a lot of stuff with me. We went back home straight from Kelana Jaya, with smooth traffic and safely arrived.

Then, I took Adam to scooter ride. We went to mail box to print out my antigen result and bribed him with can soda and gummy bear. Best part about having Adam around, he will just keep on talking and explaining on things he learned and knowing he can read and understand well, that’s just relief for me. We didn’t expect him to become a genius or smart or whatever he will be, we just hope he lives his life happily.

I know it is hard to deal with all these plan, but I managed to make it smooth because I just kept calm all the time.

I should not rush thing or make fool of myself to deal with overwhelmed situations, I have done all the messy stuff back then and I just don’t need to repeat it nor shall i regret it. I learned and will just keep learning all day by day.

It was sunny, humid and long day for me. But managable, I get things done before I leave earlier tomorrow.

I just wanna take this work trip as getaway for myself, for me to just go and discover on my own. Same time, I’d need to be attentive and I have to stay focus to ensure the event runs smoothly.

Take care Puteri Amira Karmila, you got this.

[kimonobeat]

aiko bon “Profile interview” Chapter 1 (Part 3/3)

ーWould you say you were a pretty precocious child?

aiko: I think so. In kindergarten I’d kiss other kids in tunnels I made out of cardboard boxes. (laughs) Like, a boy would come from the other end of the box and I’d kiss him. I’d also paint my nails in secret with my mom’s nail polish, or put her lipstick on. One day I was shaving the hair off my legsーI was copying my momーand ended up covered in blood. I tried to hide it by getting the bathtub, but it didn’t really go as planned. That got covered in blood too. My mom caught me while I was toweling myself off and asked, “What happened!?” And I said, “Hm? Nothing.” (laughs)

ーBecause in your head, you were just playing a little game.

aiko: Exactly! But the games I played were games boys would play. Most of the little kids who lived in our apartment complex were boys. I never once had a Licca doll or a Barbie doll. I mostly played outside games: tag, hide-and-seek, kick the can, skateboarding, roller skating, soccer, baseball, softball, catching cicadas, catching sparrows, stuff like that. All the toys people bought me were squirt guns and other ‘boy’ toys. The one ‘girly’ thing I had was a Little Twin Stars moon set. When I was alone inside the house, I used to play this game called “Robot Q”. Or I’d play records on my record player, or read the “Karasu no Panya-san (The Crow’s Bakery)” picture books. I mostly played outside though. I always came home from kindergarten just before my dad was leaving for work, so sometimes he’d ask me if I wanted to go to the amusement park. If I said yes, he’d take me! Once summer came around, he’d take me to the beach and the mountains too.

ーDid you play any ‘girly’ games at all? Like playing ‘mommy’.

aiko: Nope. I played in the mud almost every single time it rained. You know, like making mud pies. I loooved how mushy mud felt in my hands. I never really ever wanted dress-up dolls or anything like that.

ーYou really were like a little boy.

aiko: I was, huh? I liked coloring too, though. You know those things they sell at Volks? The ones where all you have to do is just dot the color on, get it wet, and then you can paint with it? I used to do that a lot. I don’t really remember much about playing inside because I was always running around outside though… Oh, that reminds me! I used to play this game while listening to English songs on my record player where I tried to write down what I thought they were on saying on a piece of paper. I think that was when I was in elementary school? I’d listen to the song and write down the English words in katakana. I didn’t know how to write the ‘tu’ sound in Japanese when writing out the word ‘tomorrow’ though, [because there’s no ‘tu’ sound in Japanese]. I remember really fretting about it. “T… t… huh?” (laughs)

ーI’m sure you played a lot of pranks too, given how lively of a kid you were.

aiko: I did! Well, they were more like games than pranks, but oftentimes my parents ended up getting mad at me. For example, one time I was playing with a pachinko set my grandma bought me. My mom called me, and when I turned around she saw something shiny in my nose. She got so flustered. Turns out my whole nose was stuffed with pachinko balls! She went, “Oh my GOODNESS!” and took all the balls out of both sides of my nose, one at a time. Apparently when I fell asleep that night, I was making a strange sound and breathing really hard all night. She took one more look and saw that I had even MORE in my nose.

ーHow did she get them out?

aiko: We went to the hospital. It was a huuuge ordeal. I kept crying, “Chop (stop) it! Chop it, chop it!” so they couldn’t get them out. My dad told me that eventually he just said, “Give her to me!”, snatched the tweezers from the doctor’s hands, and took them out himself. I used to think that was why my nose is turned up like this. (laughs) My grandma went home during all this hubbub because she was upset. My dad had yelled at her about buying a little kid something like that. I wondered why I didn’t see her around, but that was because she’d gone home silently even though it wasn’t her fault at all. There were a couple of times when I tried to find out how long my nose would bleed too. It was summer break and I had a ton a free time, so I just decided to find out how long my nose would bleed if I let it. It trickled onto my desk and made a whole pool of blood. But then it didn’t stop bleeding even after a long time had passed, so I quit because I thought I was gonna die. Other than that… I ate too much liver once and had to take an ambulance to the hospital.

ーWhat happened!?

aiko: Nothing, I literally just ate too much. (laughs) I’ve loved liver ever since I was a little kid. I had some liver that my dad had chopped up. We were cutting each other’s pieces… my dad totally set me up for failure! I ate a WAY bigger portion than any little kid should’ve eaten and started having convulsions, so they called an ambulance. I remember them taking me to the hospital and crying, “Daaaddy, I don’t, I don’t wanna die!” (laughs)

ーYou were a pretty amazing kid. (laughs) What were your eating habits and favorite foods when you were little?

aiko: My parents were pretty strict about what I ate. They didn’t let me eat a whole lot of junk food. I got to have instant ramen every Saturday, but that was about it. At our house, the only kind of juice I got to drink were the ‘100% fruit’ kind, and the only snacks were like rice crackers and yogurt. Basically, we didn’t eat sweets that much at our house. We really didn’t have anything ‘just for kids’. Aside from them leaving the wasabi off of my sushi, I ate the same exact things as my parents. I got to have a lick of beer almost every day because of that. (laughs) I’d be like, “Gimme!” and I’d get to lick the foam off the top. My dad also brought me to a bunch of different places throughout my childhood so that I’d learn about all kinds of food. So like, I’m serious, I’ve been eating soft-shelled turtle since I was a little kid. They never gave me sweet curry just because I was a kid either. The curry my parents made was nice and spicy. That’s the reason why I like bar snacks so much now, I think. You know, like atarime, nuta, kinpira, ohitashi.

ーWas there anything in particular you really loved or hated?

aiko: I LOVED the omelettes my mom made for me. She put potatoes, onion and sweetened ground meat in them; I loved ‘em. And what I hated? My dad made me eat raw bell pepper he’d sliced into rings and covered with dried bonito flakes and soy sauce almost every night. He’d also make this super sour dish of cucumbers and seaweed in a mixture of vinegar, water and sesame oil. They were so horribly sour that I’d cry like a big baby every time I ate them. I wasn’t a huge fan of nattou or carrots either. And, since I wasn’t used to eating them, I’d feel so gross after eating potato chips because of all the oil. Yeah, you heard me. I was a little kid who couldn’t eat potato chips OR cake. They gave me heartburn. (laughs)

ーSo you didn’t have any cake at birthday parties either, or… ?

aiko: Nah. I’d blow the candles out, eat a little bit, and immediately feel awful. Everyone else would be eating cake while I was off to the side eating ochazuke. (laughs) I like rice and udon noodles quite a bit though. I also loved flour. One of my favorite things to do was make these thick okonomiyaki with just onion in it, almost like a crepe.

ーSounds like you were really big into Japanese food!

aiko: Yes I was. Ever since I was little, any time I went to my grandma’s house I’d just slurp up a bunch of nukazuke. Then, I’d eat dinner with pickled mustard leaves. I really loved umeboshi too. One time I ate 18 of them while watching “Toyama no Kin-san” on TV. (laughs)

ーWhen they said you could eat whatever you wanted, what did you ask for back then?

aiko: I’d say, “Volks”! (laughs) Volks was a reward for me because I’d always ask to go. I still like that place, especially their corn soup. Some Volks locations have a soup bar with consomme, minestrone, you name it. They’re more about soup more than they are their steaks to me.

ーDid you have anything problems eating school lunches?

aiko: The food they served at school was just eh. I was the type of kid who took so long to eat that I’d still be eating while everyone else was starting to clean the lunch room. I was always begging my friends to eat some of my food too. I’d say, “Wow, you eat so fast! I wish could be like you. You’re so awesome!! Mind eating this too?” to get them to eat my food. (laughs) Not only was I a slow eater, they also served a lot of food I hated since I didn’t really like kiddy food… Like, I hated cream stew. I’d never eaten spaghetti with meat sauce either because we only ate mentaiko spaghetti at my house. (laughs) Butter and margarine were too greasy for me and would give me heartburn, so I didn’t like that. Didn’t like milk much either. The thing I liked the most at school lunch was brown sugar bread, or stuff like tangerine jelly cups. I liked their yakisoba a lot too.

ーSo basically, you hated over half of it.

aiko: Yeah, I guess so. But when I was in elementary school, you had to stand up in front of the class and say why you didn’t finish your food at lunchtime. I mean, the real reason I didn’t finish it was because I hated it. (laughs) I’d just lie and say something like, “My stomach hurts, so I left behind one piece of bread.” That was a pretty cruel thing to do, now that I think about it.

ーWas that the only sweet thing you liked? Anything else?

aiko: Ohhh, I used to love eating the warabimochi seller that came every day in the summertime. He’d come singing this song that went “Warabiiimochi, warabiiimochiii, so coooool and refreshiiing, how about some warabimochiii?” His warabimochi melted on your tongue so fast it was almost like water. He also put a TON of kinako on it. I used to love that so much. I still like warabimochi and abekawa mochi to this day.

ーSounds like you did a lot of lessons as a kid too?

aiko: Yes I did, because I told them I wanted to do every lesson that caught my eye. Swimming, piano, English, abacus, calligraphy, and… Kumon, I think? That way I had something to do just about every day. I’m fine at starting things, but then it was hard to find a time to quit, and then my parents wouldn’t let me quit either. Not that I was going to a foreign university or anything, but it was kinda like that: easy to get in, hard to graduate from. (laughs) I did all those lessons my entire childhood because of that.

ーThese were all things you’d said you wanted to do, right?

aiko: The only one my dad made me do was swimming lessons. One of my dad’s friend’s kids drowned at the beach and went into cardiac arrest. They managed to revive him with CPR, but he made me go because he was worried about my safety if I didn’t know how to swim. At first I was so scared of the water that I’d throw a big crying fitー“NO! I DON’T WANT TO!”ーand cry next to the pool. After the third time, I swam so much I’d even cut in line waiting for my turn to swim again. I’d swim around saying, “Mom, look at me!” (laughs) I said I wanted to do all the other lessons besides swimming but would always focus too hard on the way I looked doing it instead of the fundamentals. Like sitting up straight while doing calligraphy. (laughs) I asked to do Kumon too, but I had a ton of homework almost as soon as I started. I really wasn’t sure if I could do it all, but I didn’t want them to get mad at me for quitting, so I just put up with it and kept going anyway.

ーDid you want to do piano lessons too?

aiko: I did. At first, anyway. (laughs) I started when I was 3 years old, and my hands were so tiny that I couldn’t actually play the piano. We just used paper cards instead. Like, the piano teacher would ask me, “What is this one?” and I’d say, “A ‘ti’ in treble clef.” And then they’d ask, “How about this one?” and I’d say, “A ‘mi’ in bass clef.” Just practicing how to read music. I liked when I was eventually to play the piano itself. By early elementary school I’d already learned a lot and was pretty sick of it. My teacher did one-on-one lessons with two Yamaha pianos facing each other. Sounds like a lot of pressure, right? So I’d say my ‘I wanna quit’ feeling was at its peak in first grade. It was like Pavlov’s dogs almost: I got sleepy every time I even touched the piano. (laughs). I was like, falling asleep, drooling on the keyboard while practicing.

ーDid your parents get mad at you whenever you did that?

aiko: Ohhh yeah, they’d really rip into me. If my mom heard the piano go silent while she was in the kitchen doing dishes, I’d hear her stop washing dishes and yell, “AIKOOO!” She’d go back to cleaning when she heard me start playing again. After a little while I’d stop playing and fall asleep… Then she’d come into the piano room and say, “Aiko?” And of course I’d get in trouble. (laughs) I did piano lessons up until I was in 4th grade. I think I got up to doing “Sonachine”. I don’t remember any of it though.

ーDid you hate doing piano recitals at all?

aiko: Maybe. I don’t think I liked doing them much. I’m pretty sure I’d walk on stage to where the piano was, but then I’d skip off the stage when I was done. Like, “Phew, I’m done!” (laughs) I remember everyone laughing at me for skipping back to my seat.

ーYou weren’t really interested in getting attention as a kid, but you didn’t mind getting it, did you? (laughs)

aiko: I think so? I did English lessons up until I was in early elementary school too, but the older kids would always pick on me. They’d ambush me on my way to and from lessons to pick on me. According to my dad, I was real down in the dumps because of it. So he told me to fight back. “If you get in a fight, and something happens to you,” he said, “I’ll take your side.” He said my mood did a total 180 after he told me that. (laughs)

ーWere you the kind of kid who’d get into fights with boys?

aiko: Yeah, all the time. I even practiced how to punch correctly with my dad. Early in elementary school I wanted to try it out in real life just once. I landed a pretty solid hit on a  boy who kept picking on me on the way home from school. (laughs) For a moment I was like, “What have I done!?” But then the boy just got really quiet and went home. In fact, my friends would call out my name so I’d come over whenever they were fighting with a boy. I guess I must’ve seemed pretty manly to them.

ーDo you think that was because there were a lot of boys around you?

aiko: Maybe? All the kids in the apartment complex we lived in at the time were boys. I’d say there were 2 or 3 boys who were about 4 years older than me, a boy who was about my age, and a girl who was a year younger than me.

ーHow was kindergarten? Were you a handful for your teacher?

aiko: Hmmm… I used to say whatever was on my mind, so in that sense… probably. (laughs) I didn’t think twice about saying things that ended up being problems for the PTA.

ーLike, you stood out a lot in class?

aiko: I did whatever I wanted to. (laughs) Oh, speaking of standing out, one time I was the main character of a play we did. It was a story about a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, kind of like “The Ugly Duckling”. In the beginning, everyone’s mean to the caterpillar: “Ew, you’re dirty! Gross! A caterpillar! Shoo!” The caterpillar wonders why it’s so different from everyone else. Then it gets its wings, and it turns out that the ‘caterpillar’ is really a swallowtail butterfly. I was the main character of that story… I really was an oddball.

ーAn oddball, huh? (laughs)

aiko: Yup. But you know, now that I think about it, of course I am-- I’m my parents’ daughter after all. ‘Like father, like son’, right? They’ve got totally different personalities, and I’m a mix of all the good things about them. I think about that a lot. My mom and dad were meant for each other... We used to have a lot of pets at our house even though my mom hates animals. I’m not sure what was going on then, exactly. (laughs) We had almost 100 birds.

ー100 birds!? Can you even do that in an apartment building?

aiko: No, they weren’t supposed to have them. We just kept them a secret. We had an American short-hair cat at first, but had to return it to the pet shop when the landlord found out. But guess who didn’t learn their lesson? We had a Shih tzu after that. The Shih tzu was so attached to our landlord that he just said, “Fine, but keep it a secret, okay?” The whole apartment building became officially ‘pet-friendly’ after he gave us the OK. (laughs) He said he changed it because we were his very first tenants to move in. Soon enough there were so many pets in the building, it was almost like a pet exchange. People were saying stuff like, “Here, I’d like to give you a turtle.” (laughs)

ーBack to the 100 birds you guys had though…

aiko: We had Java sparrows, society finches, canaries, and Gouldian finches; crucian carp, koi fish, snakeheads, ranchu, shrimp, eels, pond loaches, catfish, Japanese rice fish, crayfish, turtles, and crabs in our aquarium; a Shih tzu and a mutt, as well as a hamster and a rhinoceros beetle.

ーA rhinoceros beetle? (laughs)

aiko: Yes. (laughs) They’re always selling them at Expoland whenever I go there. I hate bugs now but was totally fine with them back then. We also kept cicada larvae at our house. I used to watch them emerge from their shells.

ーWhere do you even keep all these pets, anyway?

aiko: Out on the veranda. Which is why their veranda always looked like a jungle, even though it was super tiny. The left side of the veranda was the corner where we kept the fish, the right side was the corner where we had all the bird cages stacked on top of each other. You go inside, and that’s where we kept the dogs and the hamster. The ranchu swam around in the entryway of the apartment. My dad took good care of all of them, every single day.

ーDid you have any pets that were sort of weird, or unusual to have as pets?

aiko: Hm… Well, we never had any reptiles… Maybe the flying squirrel? We also had… what was it… we had piranhas and such too.

ーI wouldn’t keep one of those as a pet. (laughs)

aiko: Well, we didn’t think anything of it! My dad got so excited watching them grow. He had so much fun taking care of the piranhas. (laughs)

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[ohlookashinysquirrel]

Souyowrimo 2017 Day 6

6. Cooking (prompt list)

Souji was teaching Yosuke how to cook.

He hadn’t expected to, honestly. The brunette had always enjoyed eating his boyfriend’s cooking, and Yosuke really didn’t seem like the ‘domestic chores’ type, but that didn’t bother Souji. He enjoyed cooking, enjoyed seeing the look on his partner’s face whenever he brought bentos to school for them both, or when Yosuke came over to have dinner with Souji and Nanako. It was a surprise when Yosuke had turned to him the night before, hands fidgeting in that way that told Souji he wanted to ask “something embarrassing,” and had blurted out,

“Hey, partner. Teach me to cook!”

Although he’d been surprised, Souji hadn’t had any problems with it; he’d explained, of course, that he couldn’t just ‘teach Yosuke to cook’ in a matter of hours, but that they could work on some simple recipes that would give him a better idea of what he was doing. This seemed to be enough for the brunette, who eagerly checked his Junes schedule for the next day before planning a time to come over.

(under the cut for length)

As Souji surveyed their fridge the next morning (Yosuke had done such a good job of distracting him the night before that he’d forgotten to ask whether there was anything in particular the brunette wanted to make), he found that Nanako had gone shopping the day before, so they had the ingredients to make a handful of relatively-easy dishes that he knew Yosuke liked. Setting out some vegetables and condiments, he was just pulling out the pots and pans they’d need when Yosuke arrived.

The brunette seemed more than satisfied with Souji’s choices, and after Souji showed him how to hold a knife (contrary to Yosuke’s apparent belief, it was not the same way he held his kunai) the brunette got busy chopping potatoes, cucumbers, and carrots for potato salad. He wasn’t nearly as terrible as he’d promised he would be, and while the potatoes were boiling they moved on to kinpira gobo. Here, Yosuke had a little trouble slicing the burdock root into really thin pieces, but did well enough.

He did knock over the mirin once, and Souji couldn’t help teasing him when he got a little over enthusiastic with the mayonnaise for the potato salad; this turned into a shoving war, punctuated by giggles, and they had to take a fifteen-minute pause while they cleaned up a spilled mug of tea and pick up the pile of coupons they’d sent flying. As Souji showed Yosuke how to mash the potatoes to the right consistency, the brunette grew pensive, chewing on his lip.

“These are perfect, but… what about meat? A main dish or something.”

Looking thoughtful, Souji went over the list of ingredients they had in the fridge. Beef stew wasn’t too hard, but it took a while to cook. On the subject of beef, though…

“How about hamburger steak?” He laughed when Yosuke’s eyes lit up.

“Perfect!”

While Yosuke finished up the potato salad, Souji set out hamburger, pork, and seasonings. After washing his hands, he let the brunette add the ingredients, one by one, at his partner’s instructions. Once they were added, he told Yosuke to mix them; it was clear that the brunette wasn’t terribly fond of burying his hands in raw meat (Souji didn’t blame him), but he did it with a good will. When it came to shaping the rounds, however, Souji watched for a few minutes before shaking his head.

“Good, but not exact. Here.”

Stepping up behind Yosuke, Souji wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, putting his hand over the brunette’s; he was rewarded with a chuckle. “You’ve just been looking for an excuse, haven’t you?”

“Hmmm?” Souji focused on showing his partner how to knead the patties. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but you’re the one who wanted to learn how to cook, right? This is just a side benefit.”

“Heh. You’re right, of course. And thank you.” Yosuke leaned back for a moment, and Souji turned his head to press a kiss to the brunette’s temple.

“My pleasure.”

Eventually all of the food was finished, and it made for a tasty lunch for the two of them, as well as for Nanako. And although Souji was a little curious as to why Yosuke was suddenly asking about cooking, he didn’t think much about it until a couple of weeks later.

They’d spent the evening in the TV; things had been more than a little hectic lately, and it was late enough when they’d gotten home that Souji really didn’t want to cook. He was saved by a text from Yosuke; all it said was “yakisoba pan day tomorrow” - the brunette had an unbelievable love for the snack and they never ate bentos on those days - but it was followed by an ‘xox’, and Souji sent back a string of hearts before collapsing into bed.

The next day at lunch, he waited up on the roof for Yosuke to bring their bread up; when the brunette came out, however, he was carrying two bento boxes. Souji raised an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

Bashfully, Yosuke held one out to him without saying anything; taking it, Souji - who had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what was in it - cracked the lid to see a pile of potato salad and three slightly-lumpy hamburger rounds. With a fond smile, he looked back up at his boyfriend.

“Yosuke. Weren’t you tired last night?”

Rubbing his neck - and looking inordinately pleased - the brunette shook his head. “Nah. You’re the one that does all the heavy lifting, y’know? It’s not like any of this takes a long time. I just wanted to… I dunno. Do a little bit to help out. Since usually it’s you making food for me, and all.”

Settling himself on the roof ledge with the bento on his lap, Souji reached out to pull Yosuke close before giving his boyfriend a kiss that said what his words could not. Humming happily, the brunette leaned in against Souji’s side; he had a nervous look on his face, however, and he nodded pointedly at the box.

“You have to tell me honestly how it is… I really hope I didn’t pull a Chie…”

“I doubt you did,” Souji responded, dryly. “You learned from me, remember?” Taking the chopsticks out of the compartment on the lid, he tried first a bite of potato, then a bite of beef. The salad was a little salty, but the potatoes were the perfect consistency, and although Yosuke hadn’t gotten all of the air pockets out of the hamburger, it tasted great.

“You’re taking more than one bite, and you haven’t fallen over…” The brunette looked hopeful, and Souji laughed.

“It’s perfect. Thank you, Yosuke.”

Giving a sigh of relief, Yosuke grinned. “Any time, partner.”

[bubursalmon]

Movement Control Order MCO #3 Diary

Day #42 Tue 2020/04/28

Today is the end of MCO #3

PSG Exercise 6.32 pm During 38 min of  PSG exercise my heart was working at near maximum capacity of the anaerobic level and even briefly touching the VO2 max zones whereas in 52 min of jogging the heart was operating mostly at the aerobic level. Duration: 38 min. Burned: 542 kcal. Steps: 0. Distance: 0 km. Max heart rate: 155 bpm. Average heart rate: 140 bpm. Heart rate zones: Relaxed: 0 min. Light: 0 min. Intensive 0 min, Aerobic 1 min, Anaerobic 18 min VO2 max: 18 min. Jogging 5.38 pm Duration: 52 min. Burned: 113 kcal. Steps: 6166. Distance: 4.24 km. Max heart rate: 130 bpm. Average heart rate: 117 bpm. Heart rate zones: Relaxed: 0 min. Light: 1 min. Intensive 4 min, Aerobic 40 min, Anaerobic 8 min VO2 max: 0 min. Weight 64.5 kg \ PSG \ Exercise \ Health \ Aerobic \ Anaerobic \ VO2 max.

In the current lockdown when you can't leave home and where non-essential businesses such as haircut service are closed and you hair is growing out of control looking much like sprouting a clump of shrubs on your head, the only way is to DIY. So with plenty of trust in my wife's judgement I must say that she did a fantastic job trimming my hair in the kitchen with just a pair of scissors and a plastic comb. \ MCO 3 \ Haircut \ First Time \

Day #41 Mon 2020/04/27

Stir-fried instant noodles \ MCO 3 \ Lunch \ Food \ Noodle \

Day #40 Sun 2020/04/26

According to Health director-general Datuk Dr Noor Hisham Abdullah, Malaysia today Sunday (April 26) reported 38 more Covid-19 cases, bringing the total number of Covid-19 infections in the country to 5,780. The death toll remains at 98. Let's pray that this positive development will further trend downward to single digit new cases before the end of MCO 4 \ MCO 3 \ Covid-19 Pandemic \ Updates \ 

Homemade pan mee \ MCO 40 \ Dinner \ Food \ Pan Mee

Savoury fried rice cooked with a mix of chicken sausage, carrot, tomato, cucumber, sweet corn, french bean, all cut and diced into small cubes.

\ MCO 3 \ Lunch \ Food \ Fried Rice \

Day #39 Sat 2020/04/25

Lunch of one dish meal. Potato patties. Very easy to make. Use simple ingredients such as eggs, flour, onion, carrot, salt, pepper, spring onion and minced meat. Fry lightly with cooking oil and moderate heat until golden brown

Day #38 Fri 2020/04/24

Breakfast of roti bakar, pandan kaya and butter

MCO 4 is on the way. The Star is already hinting on the new MCO extension on the morning of 2020/04/23 before the PM broke the news in his speech to the nation in the evening. MCO 4 to start on April 29 and ends on May 12

Day #37 Thu 2020/04/23

Tired of eating either Gardenia or Massimo bread? Try traditional roti. Toasts made from traditional roti with kaya or butter spread are not only crunchy but also tasty.

This evening the PM announced on TV that the MCO will be extended a further 2 weeks starting from April 29 to May 12

Day #36 Wed 2020/04/22

Baked a vanilla lemon flavoured cake in the air fryer. 

Many thanks to the merchant for the fast service. Ordered the new Astro remote from Lazada yesterday and received the item today. Tested it immediately and it works fine.

Day #35 Tue 2020/04/21

Stewed fish paste cooked with mushrooms and baby corn and stir-fried siew bak choy

Day #34 Mon 2020/04/20

Dinner. Mapo tofu, steamed oyster sauce okra, egg omelette and black bean arrowroot ( fun kok ) soup 

Very soon I will be running out of paper to fold these disposable and colourful paper trash boxes. Presently supermarkets are not as generous as before in printing and distributing their product brochures to the public.

Day #33 Sun 2020/04/19

In the evening did 35 min and 1,500 counts of of Ping Shuai Gong (PSG) hand swinging and knee bending exercise. Burned 430 kCal of energy. Average heart rate: 125 bpm. Max heart rate: 152 bpm. Immediately following the PSG exercise I continued with 1 hour of jogging, clocking 4.23 km and 6,152 steps. Average heart rate is 115 bpm and max heart rate is 127 bpm and burned only 112 kCal of energy. Comparing the two, my heart worked harder and I burned more calories in the shorter time of 35 min just standing in one spot on the floor doing PSG than jogging 4.23 km round the car porch for 1 hour. In the past when I didn't do any heart beat and calorie measurements for PSG I always assumed that as jogging is more dynamic than static exercise, running will work my heart harder than just doing static physical exercise, which I now conclude is not the case.

Day #32 Sat 2020/04/18

Did Ping Shuai Gong 平甩功 (PSG ) exercise. Did 40 min of the stand-up exercise consisting of 1500 arm swings in combination with 300 knee bending. Despite its simplicity this is a powerful static exercise that works the heart more vigorously than jogging. For eg yesterday jogging round the car porch for about 6.6 km in 90 min my max heart rate was 122 bpm and I burned 173 kcal of energy. In comparison today just standing and doing PSG for 40 min on the spot, I clocked the the max heart rate of 143 bpm and burned 445 kCal of energy. 

Dinner. Ordered a large hand-stretched crust Hawaiian Chicken pizza from Pizza Hut and delivery from foodpanda. The pizza is so big that we can save 1/2 of it for breakfast tomorrow. 

We have not visited Ellie in her parent's house since  MCO was declared. We imagine Ellie should be an adorable 63-day old baby girl today

Mashed potato patties made from grilling a mix of flour, carrot, garlic, onion and minced chicken meat in an air fryer. Add a dessert of red bean soup to make a complete and satisfying lunch time meal

Day #31 Fri 2020/04/17

Malaysia today Fri recorded 69 new Covid-19 cases taking the total number of confirmed infections in the country to 5,251. This is the second time this week that the country has recorded only double-digit figures of new cases in a 24-hour span. I hope that this downward trend will continue as an indication that the stay-at-home MCO is working to bring down the Covid-19 infection rate I went out to the local grocery stores in PUJ 3 town centre this morning to buy one week's supply of meat, fish, vegetables, eggs, bread, and other groceries. Other than at the grocery stores where you could see some people there, the normally busy streets at this early morning hour are practically empty of people and traffic.

Misua noodle cooked in clear soup with bits of shredded chicken meat

Day #30 Thu 2020/04/16

Dinner. Steamed red snapper ( ikan merah ), mixed vegetable and fried egg

Day #29 Wed 2020/04/15

Dinner. Chicken marinated and cooked with ginger, lemon grass, soya and oyster source and a little raisin wine. The other dish is stir-fried okra

Today is the 29th day of the partial lockdown and the first day of MCO #3. So beside eating how do you spend your time at home in the morning on the first day of MCO #3? As for me, my wife had practically decided for me what to do. She grouching that the floor is "sticky" I pulled up the mop and started to rub the floor with water and detergent which obviously made her very happy afterward with the cleaning and disinfecting chore.

MCO #3

[lady-nevermore]

Third Session

June 5, 2017

Yesterday I:

5AM - Went to Church with my mom (been finding it really relaxing and peaceful actually).

8 AM - Accompanied and Went with my folks on running their errands.

12/ Noon - Went to the Flea Market (haven’t been in lke forever, saw a bunch of cool stuff like always) and at the behest of my parents, whom also decided to give this a go, got a message......I actually feel like it loosened me up a bit....feel a lot more: sensitive/tender around my shoulder area/neck...at least i don’t feel those damn kinks anymore....but  idunno if i like feeling this tender/sensitive/vulnerable around there. >_>;

1-5 PM - Went the Grocery Store and spent the last remaining hours looking for that dratted, evasive gift-bag (more details below in a sec). >_<;

6-7 PM Ate Dinner, and Took a shower.

8-9 PM - Went to bed, and actually slept well. 

Today I:

- 6:45 AM: Went with my mom, for the third/fourth time this week, walking around our local Half Library/Half Duck Pond (powered-walked for an hour and saw a bunch of the local wildlife: Squirrels, ducks, geese, robin-birds, crows, etc). It’s always very nice and soothing to see, not to mention it makes me smile. :)

- 7:00-11:00 AM: Did some housework, laundry, made and prepared dinner for tonight as well as for the following days, and tried to fix my TV (sorta worked....still pending....we’ll see). 

12/Noon Ate Lunch (made myself a small Tuna Salad with cucumbers, and spinach, with a side of baby carrots, a couple of pieces of store-bought Sushi, and a granola bar); it was really nice actually. :)

1-4 PM Tried to take my mind off my nerves/anxiety a bit, managed to listen to music, and read a bit before mentally preparing myself for My Therapy appointment at 5 PM.

6-7 PM: Ate a healthy dinner and afterwards have been writing this therapy blog up till now......Looking at the clock: it’s 9PM *sigh*  -___-;

9 PM - Gonna get off tumblr, take a shower and head to bed (whilst reading a fanfic); G’night y’all *yawn*

So yeah, Today and Yesterday have been semi-stressful (a little bit hectic) to say the least; Y’all remember my ‘Aunt C aka The Poor Excuse of an Aunt who emotionally traumatized/abused me when I was 5, well her daughter let’s call her “Jay” has a Graduation this upcoming Friday....Ironically enough, Jay is graduating from my old alma-mater/my old high school: AHS High.....I’m not that close to Jay for obvious reasons (I’ve sorta sub consciously stayed away/distanced myself away from them in order to avoid Aunt C.....but then again I rarely like to spend time with or at family reunions, nowadays anyways). >_>;

But that’s beside the point; I’m proud of my younger cousin, proud and happy for her: she’s an AP student, got a full scholarship to UC Davis (aka the College I’ve always dreamed of going as well as the same old alma-mater of my Old Mentor/Friend who passed away but meant a great great deal to me to the point where he left his mark/imparted his memory onto me), and who is so amazingly ambitious that my dear cousin jay dreams of becoming a Doctor. This is why I’m soo damn proud of her (tho a selfishly part of me does feel a twinge of jealousy/envy....but my happiness/pride of her is far greater), She’s probably going to be one of the few in our family who might actually achieve graduating from a legit University, and effing applaud her for that. I mean I know that we may not be close (nor do I know If I would ever want to be, considering her connection to my abuser aka my Aunt C/her mother)....But despite that, it is in my nature to try to look past that and kindly offer a gesture of happiness in congratulating her, cause I am honestly quite proud of her. :)

....Which is why I decided to impart to her what my old mentor/friend imparted onto me when I graduated from AHS High: A nice couple of (and by couple I mean 2) boxes of Tea, specifically Vanilla Chai Tea and Earl Grey ; My Mentor, let’s call him Obi-Wan (cause he was a huge die-hard fan of Star Wars), well Obi-Wan always said that Tea helped him to relax, and I wholly agree with him in this statement, it’s been around 9 years since he introduced me to the Wonders and Joy that is Tea (and 8 years since he passed away from Colon Cancer), but it’s something that I feel will always connect me to him, and in turn is my own personal means of honoring his memory.

So, I hope that my little gift/gesture to Jay (isn’t too cheap/offensive in her eyes or my Aunt C’s in that matter) and that it will help her to relax throughout her fun, but what I’m sure will be quite the stressful venture that is College/University (I dropped out, something I’m ashamed of, so I can’t talk or say much on the matter, but I do hope it’ll help Jay in the long run). I say this in all seriousness, because I ended up having a nervous-breakdown by taking waaaaay too many college-courses/classes (around 5-6 tops) what with my mentor/friend passing away, plus me struggling depression, pushing my friends outta of my life/cutting them off, as well as struggling with said classes and me being sleep-deprived on top of that didn’t help....it was just too damn much and now here I am now (struggling with anxiety and going to therapy....though my issues have been long since precedent and something that I’ve been dealing far longer) but the point is Jay is a High ranking AP student and off to a legit High Ranking University......that can’t be easy on her poor shoulders the bear, which is why I worry and hope she doesn’t repeat my mistakes........hence a few kind, meaningful, soothing words of wisdom on the graduation card I got for her, as well as the heartwarming gesture of Tea. But yeah, I hope it at the very least make her smile (and think oh, how appropriate, Tea: a nerdy gift from my dorky cousin Lady Nevermore). lol x)

So I told my Therapist that I woke up today feeling melancholic for no apparent reason (or so I thought); But my therapist thinks that I might me projecting my stress/anxiety from Yesterday (when I was trying to find/prepare the perfect gift for me to give Jay for her Graduation) onto today; She’s not wrong ....I was sorta freaking out, yesterday,  that we were never going to find the perfect gift-bag for the occasion (not to mention that my indecisiveness/pickiness didn't help)...most of the gift-bags were either too tacky or not appropriate (birthday gift bags for example)....but in the end I got lucky and found the perfect one, yay! :D

So yeah, I talked to my therapist about my anxiety/fear that Jay ro my Aunt C will find my gift cheap/offensive and or worse, she’ll want to start to get close to me (and considering her connection to my abuser, having my Aunt Cas her mother)......yeah that’s not something I’m at all entirely comfortable with, like at all. :/

We talked a little bit about my Mentor/Old Friend, Obi-Wan and how his passing/death affected me aka via anxiety-terror filled nightmares, etc (but I don’t really wanna get into that atm, maybe later or some other time). We discussed how my therapist is glad that I’m continuing to go outside (going to church, walking around the library-duck pond area, and going to stores or to the grocery store with my folks; it’s been three weeks more or less of this now without me feeling too overwhelmed)

2nd Piece of Homework: Note to Self: Notice and become Aware of what triggers my depression or anxiety during stressful/anxiety-filled situation and write it down (this way we can start identifying what triggers my anxiety/depression and what me and my therapist can start to work on).

****Pretty sure I forgot a lot of other stuff, and I will probably try to add more to this later or post another one of these the following weeks, but for now this’ll have to do.

Just got back from therapy (around 6 pm-ish and it took me a while to eat dinner, not to mention get on tumblr and organize my thoughts in order to write this blog) and I’m Feeling sorta tired/drained/low-key sorta cranky and i really really really just wanna go shower and go to bed right now (and recharge); sucks cause I really wanted to start pick up where the anime in Bleach left off, and start reading the manga (Bleach) and / or watch one of the bleach movies....or another Ghibli film.....or hell, at the very least cruise on tumblr (reblogging, chatting, etc) for a bit. *sigh* Ah well, maybe tomorrow. -____-;

Welp, Later, and Good Night my dears! *hugs* :)

- Lady Nevermore

[samanthasroberts]

8 Software Features That Would Make Real Life Awesome

If you’re anything like me, you spend most of your time on the computer because it’s way easier than real life. Literally everything in a computer is easier than its analog counterpart. Email is better than snail mail, YouTube lets us watch people get hit in the balls without having to endure whatever asshole is currently hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos, and word processing programs let us type without revealing what grammatically inept morons we are.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had the same conveniences of a computer in reality? Here are the features I think we could use the most.

#8. Copy/Cut/Paste

I’ve worked exclusively with computers for well over a decade, because I’m clumsy and therefore a danger to myself when doing real-people jobs, and I get frustrated easily with repetitious tasks. Whether it’s flipping burgers or making a brick wall, the act of repeatedly picking things up and moving them is a pain in the ass.

In The Real World …

You could select an object and then just copy, paste, repeat. A job at Taco Bell would be a lot more bearable if you made one taco before lunch and just pasted it, hot and fully wrapped, over and over again for every customer.

“Or you could give me a Ctrl+Z to undo working here …”

Stores would save a bundle simply reusing the same product over and over, and you could save even more buying one of those build-your-own six packs and just pasting the good ones forever. Even more practically, you could make copies of your more valuable organs for when you inevitably destroy them with all of the cigarettes, Big Macs, and vodka you copied over the years.

The cut function might be even better. You’d never have to do any heavy lifting again. You could just cut and later paste things wherever you want them to go. Imagine a world in which strained backs are a thing of the past. Carrying loads of laundry up and down the stairs would be as easy as walking up and down the stairs — which is a challenge for me because I’m terribly out of shape, but you get the general idea.

Though carrying a complete bedroom set on a clipboard might prove to be tricky.

Destroying evidence would be as easy as cutting an object, then cutting another. Just like the joke that was originally here but accidentally copied over, it would never be seen again. Those hundreds of beer bottles from that binge you pasted over the weekend? Cut and then lost seconds later when you copied that McNugget into the full 20 you now need to fight the hangover.

#7. Saving Progress

Do you have any regrets? I do. I’m divorced, I’ve gotten speeding tickets, and I once got hit in the junk by a piece of wood that flew out of a table saw. So I have some experience with looking back on moments and reflecting on how it would be super to have not done that, because I still cry when I pee sometimes. (Divorce is rough, folks)

On the other hand, I have zero regrets with any video game I play, because I save as often as possible, whether it allows quick saves or has save points. For example, there is no regret for your character in Alien: Isolation when you accidentally attract the creature with your running and it kills you, because you saved the game and can go back and not do that this time. Unfortunately for your underwear, that doesn’t undo the racing stripe you just forged in terror turds.

A better bowel loosener than Metamucil or a draft notice for Ted Nugent.

In The Real World …

Wouldn’t it be great if we could save the day when we get up in the morning? Or just before a big interview? Or before asking the custodian if he was propositioning you with his eyes or just has a weird tic? All that regret could be undone with a reload. It would be like Edge Of Tomorrow, except you don’t have to get shot in the face or run over to undo your most recent screwup.

“Shit …”

Had an awesome relationship, but fucked it up over a stupid misunderstanding? Reload. Blow through a red light? Reload. Got drunk and put peanut butter on your genitals to make friends with the dog? Reload, but gross. You can reboot your life, but you can’t scrub a soul clean, pervert.

#6. Piracy

Before anyone screams, I know, piracy is bad. It can and has murdered the careers of indie developers and writers, because rather than paying for their product, people just shared it for free, and free doesn’t buy food and WiFi. On that note, a lot of people are A-OK pirating things from big companies. Raise your hand if you paid $7,000 for that copy of Photoshop you use to replace celebrities’ heads with dicks. I thought so.

Fact: Only two legitimate copies were ever made, both in 1997.

In The Real World …

Now that we’ve cleared that up, think about a world in which the poor and downtrodden could have lobster mac and cheese because someone made some at a fancy (possibly schmancy) restaurant, then made a bunch of free copies to share. That wouldn’t even impact the restaurant, because it’s not like Ol’ Hobo Gus was going to eat at the Four Seasons but “fuck it, free lobster mac.” And what if simple things that add up in life could just be duplicated from what the Haves have to make life less shitty for the hardworking Have Nots? Trips to the food bank would be a snap, and you could drop off Costco-sized boxes of Q-tips or actual fresh food instead of that canned garbage that people who can’t afford a can opener are always offered.

True, but would we really want to have to sit through this PSA before every meal?

Granted, some people would take advantage of this and use it for Teslas, Blu-ray players, and 96-inch TVs that would go perfectly in my living room. Now, these pirated copies will probably have some built-in problems just to fuck with the thieves, but honestly, that’s an extra layer of hilarious I think the real world could use right now.

#5. Bookmarks And Shortcuts

Bookmarks are already a thing. Remember those pieces of poster board you shoved into your pre-Kindle so that when you went back you didn’t have to remember what page you were on? That’s actually exactly how we came to use the term “bookmark” for webpages.

In The Real World …

Condescending history lessons aside, the basic idea behind bookmarks and shortcuts would be amazing in the real world. Imagine being able to snap right back to where you were in line after running to the bathroom, regardless of how many dick nerds stole your place for the new Star Wars movie.

Although autocomplete will lead to awkward questions as to why you went to the strip mall while your husband ended up at “Mammary Lane.”

More practically, you could make a shortcut to the responsible groceries you always “forget” when shopping. A shortcut to where you parked at a mall or concert could save valuable hours of your life that could have been spent doing something other than wandering and crying quietly.

#4. “Invisible” Setting

One of the main reasons socially inept people like myself evolve into Howard-Hughes-like hermits who collect cats and cereal boxes until A&E has to intervene is the fact that it’s hard to go anywhere in society without socializing. Leaving the house almost always means someone is going to say “hello” or make eye contact, and that is just too damn much human interaction for some of us.

Even if you’re not a shut-in, there are some people you’d rather not interact with who can’t seem to read the “get fucked” look in your eyes and insist on speaking to you.

This is why chat programs have an “invisible” setting. Because sometimes you have shit to do and don’t want to be bugged by employees, former friends, or that mall Santa who’s been following you for years.

In The Real World …

Just think, you no longer have to feel guilty as you try to avoid eye contact with a homeless person despite the wad of cash in your pocket. You could get that cucumber and variety box of condoms through the self-checkout without feeling watched. Go on, I won’t judge.

That virgin olive oil isn’t going to stay that way for long …

It would also make life much more bearable for the self-conscious in the world. I’m someone who can trip over nothing on a linoleum floor, so walking down a concrete sidewalk with seams has caused more than a few completely unnecessary stumbles when people were looking. There’s nothing I can do about that, because there’s no therapy for clumsiness, but it would be awesome to fall because your feet are stupid and not have witnesses.

On the downside, shoplifting would be super easy. But come on people, don’t be assholes.

Pirate that shit.

#3. Pausing

If anything on this list is a superpower I would bathe myself in toxic chemicals to get, this is it. The best part of watching a movie, listening to a song, or playing a video game on a computer is the ability to pause it at any time for any reason.

Like that much needed change of underwear and vodka shot after this.

In The Real World …

The ability to pause life would make time management meaningless, since procrastinating would only consume non-time that you’d essentially have an endless supply of. Impromptu naps could happen at any time with no repercussions. No matter how crazy/important/fast-paced your job, you could just drop everything and run to the can at any time (but still wash your hands, stinky).

Work in fast food? You could spit in some asshole’s food for being rude, and literally no one would be able to tell. Not that I endorse that kind of thing. You could also rob a bank just by waiting for someone to open the vault and walking in. But I recommend just using it for napping and meeting deadlines at the last minute, unless you’re a terrible person.

There’s a reason we called this the greatest superpower of all time.

#2. Search Engines

Search engines are more than just a convenience in the modern world. They’re necessary to find a job, a cookie recipe, or personal information about that person you have a crush on and can’t seem to get a lock of their hair to sniff. But in the real world, it would become the single most indispensable tool anyone ever devised.

Way more than whatever the fuck this is.

In The Real World …

You’d never lose another set of keys, or your phone. You wouldn’t have to ask anyone where the condoms were at the store (see: invisibility, self checkout), and you could “image” search that person you kinda recognize and knows your name so you don’t look like a dick when they say hi. Combine it with the bookmark feature and you could dominate on Jeopardy or emotionally brutalize the stupid on Wheel Of Fortune.

Otherwise known as the University of Phoenix of game shows.

If you were ever lost in the wilderness, you could look up which mushrooms you could eat for fun, and which ones you could eat for food. Or maybe search where you are and not get lost in the first place.

You could also become the world’s most hated “um, actually” guy by immediately debunking the bullshit everyone around you spouts. But hey, self-righteousness is it’s own reward, right? It’s what fuels Facebook.

#1. Muting/Blocking

If you’ve ever used Twitter, these are indispensable tools for not being bothered by people who insist on “debating” you by spamming up your timeline with endless tweets, blowing off those “See Why I faved You” religious accounts, and, most importantly, keeping unruly dicks from so called “movements” from sea-lioning you with bullshit questions because you happened to share an opinion they disagreed with.

The new universal symbol for “asshole.”

In The Real World …

Wouldn’t it be great to never again have to hear those annoying people working the kiosks in the middle of the mall?

No! No one wants your stupid copper head-octopus thing, and you smell like a cologne ad from the 1970s.

You could permanently avoid people you’ve had a falling out with. Or you could block or mute other things, like tabloids in the checkout line or anything on daytime TV that isn’t Twilight Zone reruns.

Even better, women could mute or block catcallers. Imagine a world in which cutting shitty people out of your life was as easy as clicking a button. Of everything in this list, this is the one that would allow people to take back their lives from assholes and do some real good. Hell, how much heartache and pain could we all have avoided in the ’90s if we could just block Columbia House?

“You can buy 15 puppies for just a penny!” “Must … ignore …

As with blocking on the Internet, people will call you a coward and claim that they won life if you block them. And just like blocking on the Internet, they’re dead fucking wrong, because your life now contains one less annoying cow pie of a human. And we could all use fewer human cow pies.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/8-software-features-that-would-make-real-life-awesome/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/04/08/8-software-features-that-would-make-real-life-awesome/

[adambstingus]

8 Software Features That Would Make Real Life Awesome

If you’re anything like me, you spend most of your time on the computer because it’s way easier than real life. Literally everything in a computer is easier than its analog counterpart. Email is better than snail mail, YouTube lets us watch people get hit in the balls without having to endure whatever asshole is currently hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos, and word processing programs let us type without revealing what grammatically inept morons we are.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had the same conveniences of a computer in reality? Here are the features I think we could use the most.

#8. Copy/Cut/Paste

I’ve worked exclusively with computers for well over a decade, because I’m clumsy and therefore a danger to myself when doing real-people jobs, and I get frustrated easily with repetitious tasks. Whether it’s flipping burgers or making a brick wall, the act of repeatedly picking things up and moving them is a pain in the ass.

In The Real World …

You could select an object and then just copy, paste, repeat. A job at Taco Bell would be a lot more bearable if you made one taco before lunch and just pasted it, hot and fully wrapped, over and over again for every customer.

“Or you could give me a Ctrl+Z to undo working here …”

Stores would save a bundle simply reusing the same product over and over, and you could save even more buying one of those build-your-own six packs and just pasting the good ones forever. Even more practically, you could make copies of your more valuable organs for when you inevitably destroy them with all of the cigarettes, Big Macs, and vodka you copied over the years.

The cut function might be even better. You’d never have to do any heavy lifting again. You could just cut and later paste things wherever you want them to go. Imagine a world in which strained backs are a thing of the past. Carrying loads of laundry up and down the stairs would be as easy as walking up and down the stairs — which is a challenge for me because I’m terribly out of shape, but you get the general idea.

Though carrying a complete bedroom set on a clipboard might prove to be tricky.

Destroying evidence would be as easy as cutting an object, then cutting another. Just like the joke that was originally here but accidentally copied over, it would never be seen again. Those hundreds of beer bottles from that binge you pasted over the weekend? Cut and then lost seconds later when you copied that McNugget into the full 20 you now need to fight the hangover.

#7. Saving Progress

Do you have any regrets? I do. I’m divorced, I’ve gotten speeding tickets, and I once got hit in the junk by a piece of wood that flew out of a table saw. So I have some experience with looking back on moments and reflecting on how it would be super to have not done that, because I still cry when I pee sometimes. (Divorce is rough, folks)

On the other hand, I have zero regrets with any video game I play, because I save as often as possible, whether it allows quick saves or has save points. For example, there is no regret for your character in Alien: Isolation when you accidentally attract the creature with your running and it kills you, because you saved the game and can go back and not do that this time. Unfortunately for your underwear, that doesn’t undo the racing stripe you just forged in terror turds.

A better bowel loosener than Metamucil or a draft notice for Ted Nugent.

In The Real World …

Wouldn’t it be great if we could save the day when we get up in the morning? Or just before a big interview? Or before asking the custodian if he was propositioning you with his eyes or just has a weird tic? All that regret could be undone with a reload. It would be like Edge Of Tomorrow, except you don’t have to get shot in the face or run over to undo your most recent screwup.

“Shit …”

Had an awesome relationship, but fucked it up over a stupid misunderstanding? Reload. Blow through a red light? Reload. Got drunk and put peanut butter on your genitals to make friends with the dog? Reload, but gross. You can reboot your life, but you can’t scrub a soul clean, pervert.

#6. Piracy

Before anyone screams, I know, piracy is bad. It can and has murdered the careers of indie developers and writers, because rather than paying for their product, people just shared it for free, and free doesn’t buy food and WiFi. On that note, a lot of people are A-OK pirating things from big companies. Raise your hand if you paid $7,000 for that copy of Photoshop you use to replace celebrities’ heads with dicks. I thought so.

Fact: Only two legitimate copies were ever made, both in 1997.

In The Real World …

Now that we’ve cleared that up, think about a world in which the poor and downtrodden could have lobster mac and cheese because someone made some at a fancy (possibly schmancy) restaurant, then made a bunch of free copies to share. That wouldn’t even impact the restaurant, because it’s not like Ol’ Hobo Gus was going to eat at the Four Seasons but “fuck it, free lobster mac.” And what if simple things that add up in life could just be duplicated from what the Haves have to make life less shitty for the hardworking Have Nots? Trips to the food bank would be a snap, and you could drop off Costco-sized boxes of Q-tips or actual fresh food instead of that canned garbage that people who can’t afford a can opener are always offered.

True, but would we really want to have to sit through this PSA before every meal?

Granted, some people would take advantage of this and use it for Teslas, Blu-ray players, and 96-inch TVs that would go perfectly in my living room. Now, these pirated copies will probably have some built-in problems just to fuck with the thieves, but honestly, that’s an extra layer of hilarious I think the real world could use right now.

#5. Bookmarks And Shortcuts

Bookmarks are already a thing. Remember those pieces of poster board you shoved into your pre-Kindle so that when you went back you didn’t have to remember what page you were on? That’s actually exactly how we came to use the term “bookmark” for webpages.

In The Real World …

Condescending history lessons aside, the basic idea behind bookmarks and shortcuts would be amazing in the real world. Imagine being able to snap right back to where you were in line after running to the bathroom, regardless of how many dick nerds stole your place for the new Star Wars movie.

Although autocomplete will lead to awkward questions as to why you went to the strip mall while your husband ended up at “Mammary Lane.”

More practically, you could make a shortcut to the responsible groceries you always “forget” when shopping. A shortcut to where you parked at a mall or concert could save valuable hours of your life that could have been spent doing something other than wandering and crying quietly.

#4. “Invisible” Setting

One of the main reasons socially inept people like myself evolve into Howard-Hughes-like hermits who collect cats and cereal boxes until A&E has to intervene is the fact that it’s hard to go anywhere in society without socializing. Leaving the house almost always means someone is going to say “hello” or make eye contact, and that is just too damn much human interaction for some of us.

Even if you’re not a shut-in, there are some people you’d rather not interact with who can’t seem to read the “get fucked” look in your eyes and insist on speaking to you.

This is why chat programs have an “invisible” setting. Because sometimes you have shit to do and don’t want to be bugged by employees, former friends, or that mall Santa who’s been following you for years.

In The Real World …

Just think, you no longer have to feel guilty as you try to avoid eye contact with a homeless person despite the wad of cash in your pocket. You could get that cucumber and variety box of condoms through the self-checkout without feeling watched. Go on, I won’t judge.

That virgin olive oil isn’t going to stay that way for long …

It would also make life much more bearable for the self-conscious in the world. I’m someone who can trip over nothing on a linoleum floor, so walking down a concrete sidewalk with seams has caused more than a few completely unnecessary stumbles when people were looking. There’s nothing I can do about that, because there’s no therapy for clumsiness, but it would be awesome to fall because your feet are stupid and not have witnesses.

On the downside, shoplifting would be super easy. But come on people, don’t be assholes.

Pirate that shit.

#3. Pausing

If anything on this list is a superpower I would bathe myself in toxic chemicals to get, this is it. The best part of watching a movie, listening to a song, or playing a video game on a computer is the ability to pause it at any time for any reason.

Like that much needed change of underwear and vodka shot after this.

In The Real World …

The ability to pause life would make time management meaningless, since procrastinating would only consume non-time that you’d essentially have an endless supply of. Impromptu naps could happen at any time with no repercussions. No matter how crazy/important/fast-paced your job, you could just drop everything and run to the can at any time (but still wash your hands, stinky).

Work in fast food? You could spit in some asshole’s food for being rude, and literally no one would be able to tell. Not that I endorse that kind of thing. You could also rob a bank just by waiting for someone to open the vault and walking in. But I recommend just using it for napping and meeting deadlines at the last minute, unless you’re a terrible person.

There’s a reason we called this the greatest superpower of all time.

#2. Search Engines

Search engines are more than just a convenience in the modern world. They’re necessary to find a job, a cookie recipe, or personal information about that person you have a crush on and can’t seem to get a lock of their hair to sniff. But in the real world, it would become the single most indispensable tool anyone ever devised.

Way more than whatever the fuck this is.

In The Real World …

You’d never lose another set of keys, or your phone. You wouldn’t have to ask anyone where the condoms were at the store (see: invisibility, self checkout), and you could “image” search that person you kinda recognize and knows your name so you don’t look like a dick when they say hi. Combine it with the bookmark feature and you could dominate on Jeopardy or emotionally brutalize the stupid on Wheel Of Fortune.

Otherwise known as the University of Phoenix of game shows.

If you were ever lost in the wilderness, you could look up which mushrooms you could eat for fun, and which ones you could eat for food. Or maybe search where you are and not get lost in the first place.

You could also become the world’s most hated “um, actually” guy by immediately debunking the bullshit everyone around you spouts. But hey, self-righteousness is it’s own reward, right? It’s what fuels Facebook.

#1. Muting/Blocking

If you’ve ever used Twitter, these are indispensable tools for not being bothered by people who insist on “debating” you by spamming up your timeline with endless tweets, blowing off those “See Why I faved You” religious accounts, and, most importantly, keeping unruly dicks from so called “movements” from sea-lioning you with bullshit questions because you happened to share an opinion they disagreed with.

The new universal symbol for “asshole.”

In The Real World …

Wouldn’t it be great to never again have to hear those annoying people working the kiosks in the middle of the mall?

No! No one wants your stupid copper head-octopus thing, and you smell like a cologne ad from the 1970s.

You could permanently avoid people you’ve had a falling out with. Or you could block or mute other things, like tabloids in the checkout line or anything on daytime TV that isn’t Twilight Zone reruns.

Even better, women could mute or block catcallers. Imagine a world in which cutting shitty people out of your life was as easy as clicking a button. Of everything in this list, this is the one that would allow people to take back their lives from assholes and do some real good. Hell, how much heartache and pain could we all have avoided in the ’90s if we could just block Columbia House?

“You can buy 15 puppies for just a penny!” “Must … ignore …

As with blocking on the Internet, people will call you a coward and claim that they won life if you block them. And just like blocking on the Internet, they’re dead fucking wrong, because your life now contains one less annoying cow pie of a human. And we could all use fewer human cow pies.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/8-software-features-that-would-make-real-life-awesome/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172738198392