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It's my 15 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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Woke up this morning with ping of notification from WhatsApp where it says that my parcels are all delivered right front of our house with a picture as an evidence. Instantly made a move to the living room and rush to the door and collected of all my parcels.

I was thrilled and full of excitement as I took the scissors and cut out of all the wrappers and there everything I've needed is here. I am so ready to start my journey as air dry clay sculptor or an artist in the making?

Well, that's not the case. Right now, I'm just fulfilling my spare time while I'm at it and being in your 30s has been roller coaster ride I would say however I never learned to stop, I just keep going with what I know and unlearn and relearn.

2025, you're just another year that I need to thrive or we're just fooled by the calendar itself. Bye bye, Toulouse.

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I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of a mental breakdown, especially as all the warning signs begin to surface. Just a fleeting mood swing can transport me to a place of deep exhaustion.

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In the golden haze of early 2000s nostalgia, the scenery takes on a dreamlike quality, reminiscent of a time when life felt boundless and carefree. Picture a tranquil suburban neighborhood, where the scent of freshly cut grass mingles with the laughter of children playing in the streets. Rustling leaves dance in the gentle breeze, casting dappled shadows on sidewalks lined with colorful chalk drawings and hopscotch grids. Sun-kissed afternoons are spent exploring hidden corners of the local park, climbing trees with scraped knees as badges of adventure. Backyards become enchanted kingdoms, where imagination reigns supreme amidst makeshift forts and secret hideouts. The soundtrack of this idyllic scene is the distant hum of bicycles whizzing by and the timeless melody of ice cream trucks echoing through the neighborhood. In this simpler time, childhood feels like an endless summer, where every day holds the promise of new discoveries and unforgettable adventures.

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Art by Peter Elson (1947 – 1998)

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look alive, sunshine

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Lately, I've been grappling with a sense of emptiness that seems to cloud my thoughts and decisions. It's as if there's a void within me that I can't quite fill or understand. This feeling of emptiness makes it incredibly challenging for me to discern what's truly beneficial or fulfilling in my life right now. I find myself questioning my choices and unable to grasp onto anything that brings me genuine joy or purpose. It's a perplexing state, leaving me feeling adrift and uncertain about how to navigate the path ahead.

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I meticulously navigate through the intricate pattern, discerning every subtle sign. While it could be perceived as mere happenstance, I remain steadfast and composed, having made a conscious decision from the very beginning to embrace and endure whatever may come my way.

In my relentless dedication to this endeavor, I have invested copious amounts of effort and energy, striving not only to rectify any imperfections but also to tailor the situation to align with my aspirations.

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Gratitude fills my heart for the individual I am evolving into, appreciative of the abundant opportunities and the grace of second chances that pave the way for a triumphant resurgence. I marvel at the love bestowed upon me by the person I hold in high esteem, rediscovering the art of loving and embracing the beauty of learning to love anew.

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Jan 2024

Hi, this year sounds serious to me.

In the realm of unfinished business that began long ago, I am now poised to bring it to completion as envisioned. I carefully select each day, ensuring it aligns perfectly with my plans.

Beside me, here lies the love of my life, a source of unwavering support that banishes any trace of weariness.

With faith in the process and confidence in my abilities, I embrace the journey ahead. I release my fears, opting for a calm and collected demeanor, determined to turn aspirations into reality.

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Art by Ralph McQuarrie for short story At the Human Limit by Jack Williamson from The Planets (Bantam, 1985)

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Star Wars fan art by Jay Rogers

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If I could see things differently now, I would. I definitely am now. Forgetting all the past and let go of the unknown. None of us could ever, if one shall pass, the others will.

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The world is already beautiful, but Israelis just can't accept the fact of being the worst being that ever existed over centuries and refused to obey Allah swt as they were consumed with their hatred, revenge and power that they were unable to stay grounded, humble and against the Godwill and would rather play victims over 75 years of killing million of innocent children and civilians.

Allah swt condemned Bani Israel which Israel was a prophet, not a country; they're just Ashkenazi Jewish brought from Poland back in 1946 where Palestinians welcomed them with open arms and the Operation Agatha were carried out by British troops for Ashkenazi Jews settlement in Jerusalem and survived from the holocaust.

I've seen how atheist brains work, most of them are just proud of being narcissistic, selfish, egoistic and have no integrity.

Let our generation and next generation know the truth, the reality, morale, rational and existence of God.

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Only to find myself now happy with things I learned to discover on my own, I learned to paint again and collecting ideas from every source I could pulled for myself. It is indeed a lot happening, but I let it live to its own potential without having to put any pressures in it.

I savour the last words, the good words for myself without anticipating. Just calmly letting myself enjoy all the moment I chose. I spared myself listening to people, so that I could understand life works differently to everyone else and you learn to humble down, stay grounded and let go of things you know.

I tried not to overshared because things can changed dramatically and maybe I just don’t want to jinx it.

I am please with all the new journey offered for myself which I opened up myself to take many opportunities in life with my expertise and skills that I’ve equipped myself over the years.

I don’t really conversed well with past, my only concern is with the now. The rest, I’m sorry I am fully occupied.

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