#like i still need to build my portfolio and im at a good place to do so

[blkwag]

[ih3artkitty]

girl do i have a story to tell you

so as we know q is highkey for the streets. like she be talking to multiple girls at the same time like she gets paid to do so. so anyways she was talking to this one stud named mariah (her tiktok has everything if u rlly want the mess). mind you, mariah wasn't rlly cool with her but q kept like nagging her for facetimes and stuff like that right. so obviously mariah is like trying to back off before it gets too crazy vc obviously something is wrong with q, so she blocks her. that got q upset and i think she started finding mariah on other platforms (crazy work). MIND YOU during all this mariah had a girl that q knew about and q was still trying to get with mariah.

so i think at that point mariah started using the opportunity God gave her and started basically keeping a log of everything going on. building a portfolio of evidence if u will. and yesterday at like...11AM (my time), mariah posted a screenshot/collage of a bunch of things q said to her in private and basically how she acts behind closed doors.

so after mariah posted that pic, a BUNCH of other girls (mainly poc) who talked with q started coming forward about her weird ways basically. it got to the point where mariah went on live so people could air out what they experienced with q. i wouldn't be surprised if it was recorded, but idk where you would find it. during that live, a bunch of girls came forward (a good bit of them being minors) mainly talking about how q would block them for the weirdest of things. like i remember one girl saying she commented on kk harvey and q's little thing (the person said they were cute together) or wtv on live and she got blocked for it shortly after. you know weird shit.

but then it got sooo much worse. more people were coming forward saying q was basically a creep and a freak who always made conversations sexual asf. like in the collage mariah posted, there's a pic of q asking for phone s3x like huh?? and that's bad already but mariah is over 18 so yeah. but MINORS were coming out saying q was doing that to them too. apparently q told a minor that she's gonna "talk her through it" like im sorry what???

another girl came on the live and said q was racist against asian people in particular because she had snapped her earlier this year and q said "you're pretty for an asian girl" (aka the most used microaggression poc women have to deal with).

there's other shit like fatphobia, transphobia, q saying the r word..like this really exploded.

and what's even worse is the thing that got this whole mess started in the first place was bc q was airing out her teammates business to mariah (a total stranger mind you). at this point im pretty sure it's almost confirmed that at least two people being talked about were paige and azzi

there's alot of other weird shit q has done. honorable mention goes to q saying she flirts with her stud friends. which is bad in itself, but then someone said that q and ayanna are roommates so...take with that what you will.

all i know is that q needs to get off the team because she has no place being on the team when she's acting like this behind closed doors.

̩͙꒰ঌ✞໒꒱· ﾟ

when I tell you my jaw was in the fucking floor. That hoe has to be the weirdest person I have ever heard about in my life. I looked up the whole situation last night and to say her ass needs to get kicked off that team is an understatement. Her telling a minor that she would “talk her through it” bitch how fucking sick are you ☠️. I also find it crazy she was talking about Asians when a LITERAL Asian girl is on her team….

I don’t see how some people are so comfortable with telling their “friends” secrets, I put quotations around friends cause I know them girl don’t like her fr, if I was any of them I would beat her ass because I bet you she won’t do that shit again

but thank you for telling me all this shit because I was already looking at her funny because of all the people coming forward and just saying she was a rude person but I know for a fact that hoe is weird. So thank you again 😭

[chogiwow]

dude so i saw ur reply last night but i was in desperate need of sleep but also didn't sleep bc i was just engrossed in a book IVDSNS BUT this morning i opened up my inbox and couldnt find ur reply and was so confused and as i continued to be unable to find it in my inbox i got sadder and then i realised im stupid bc the reply wouldn't be in my inbox 🧍‍♂️anyways semi-long reply sorry hehe (semi-long bc ive defs sent longer ones)

ahh i see i see @ substack. reminds me of medium, which i've come across before... i did debate exploring medium as another writing platform, but never got around to it vsjnvks so its nice that u bring substack to my attention bc now i can compare 🤩 well. maybe not now now but yknow. whenever i decide to/can get around to it NVJDKNSK

100% agree w and have had the same thoughts as you about fics/continuing to write/the pub industry (which i really should give much more thought to, given that one of my degrees is in writing🧍‍♂️) and yeah no it DOES serve as a good incentive to build a portfolio (if anyone asked me for a portfolio, i would simply hand over my uni work bc i have nothing else rn LMAO) but tbh i think even if it is a hobby, it's a good way to kinda explore and set your ??? idk like foundations or whatever so you get an idea of what you wanna write about and if you actually wanna take it seriously (which isn't to say you aren't - we can 100% take hobbies seriously - just that different contexts/intents would call for different. things. wow i love words.)

and also related but unrelated, i think its fun/nice to. uh. idk how to say it but for us (as in literally you and me, but also other mutuals and people in fandom who made friends in the context of fandom) to see eachother write or talk about things outside of the uniting factor or common denominator or whatever? though yeah that does kinda potentially extend the relationship beyond what some people are comfy w. i'm kinda just rambling rn sorry AHHA

OH BUT BUT sorry back to the publishing/career thing. Even if you don't use the substack writings for like. writing/publishing careers, it can still help with other career things? like, you run a blog and hav experience writing about diverse topics, communicating ideas etcetc. so no losses 🤩

do not feel guilty about the chan fic 🙂‍↔️ yes i love/d it and i think about it and yes i would love to read more BUT im so happy to have just been eble to experience it at all. i hope you've never felt pressured by my responses to it KNVDSKJNVDSK sincerest of apologies if you have.

tbh i havent been up to much, i don't think. shits kinda hit the fan tbh but i'm hoping (always hoping) the only other place for the shit to go is down, now. (ie. i hope this is the part where things start getting easier etc). it is what it is, even if it shouldn't be, and we'll somehow get through it because. well, we have so far, right? BUT ANYWAYS

"anything you wanna yap about-" BOY do i have things to yap about. that book^^ i was so engrossed in? jesus CHRIST i sent my friend 10mins worth of voicemsgs JNCDKSNDSK (it may have been 10mins because i simply i can't articulate properly and kept repeating myself and going off on tangents.. but it probably would have been 10mins anyways if i'd planned and scripted it all before hand anyways. it was only 10mins because i got tired and realised i should probably see how much ive spammed 💀) ("kat... 10 whole minutes? 😭" babes thats not even the worst of it-)

i also like to 'yap' about the stuff i learn in class (my other degree/major is in media and cultural studies) and i just 🤩 have so much to say about some things that i find so so interesting but me talking as much as i do/want to is also just. i find it interesting and really wanna share and talk about it KJNVDSKJVNSK so like yeah, to bring this full circle, is why i've vaguely thought about using medium/substack,,, tbh i thought about just making a sideblog here AHAHA but i cant take myself on tumblr seriously LOL + 'fresh' start on new platform sounds neat mhm mhm but also hehehe (evil) maybe instead of spamming my friend about stuff, i can just write blog posts and she can read it whenever hMMMM thinking thinking,,,

anyways 🧍‍♂️sorry, i was expectin this to be long but it ended up longer than i thought it would HAHA wait no im rereading my ask/reply rn and substack just sounds great bc i can do informal reviews about things i've watched/read aswell AHHHH and yeah like just ??? more personal though explorations/'journaling' kinda vibes as well? HMMM AND and even mini writing pieces--- i literally do not have the time to be considering this rn but here i am wHOOPS okay i'll stop now before this gets even longer 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

hi katttt, i'm so sorry for the late reply :'D apparently i'm in the phase of my life where i can only type out articulated replies on my laptop and not my phone, also week's been sooo hectic i hate being a corporate slave fml <3

lmfao not you tryna find my reply in your inbox sdjskd all's good tho hehe :3ooh medium is ... something, i couldn't really figure it out all that well and also the few times i've tried to read on medium, it's asked me to subsribe or sign up to continue to read? and i just don't ... vibe with that lol

yes yes, tryna write about real life stuff really makes me pause once in a while and just think (?) it through bc writing fiction is gen easier than trying to string together the raw ideas relating irl issues/stuff (for me at least). like it really makes me stop midway and rethink my choice of phrasing stuff or even putting forward an opinion thinking about how its gonna make people percieve me? well, not that its not sumn that doesn't apply to fiction as well bc i kinda think that the way one writes always just brings about some sort of perception of their character and personal views through their words, no matter how subtle ... am i making sense? but fictional writing just lets you cloak it into a 'what-if' situation where any judgement of your story/character(s) is not a direct discernment of your personal opinions whereas talking about irl stuff always comes with that concious load of having your opinions/thoughts being obligated to a verdict (positive/negative/both).

so anywayyy sjhdj, yes it's fun to just write and pursue as a hobby bc its fun communiatingideas and realise that it might not be all that irrelevant as you thought haha :>

and noooo, i absolutely love love LOVE reading yout tags on my fics, like i legit go back to my old writings and read the rb tags and it always makes me so happy :( i do want to continue writing fiction bc its always been a comfort to me to be able to weave stories my way, but i suppose everything has its own time to unfold and settle ... sometimes inspiration hits so bad but the will to write it out is just not there :/ but anyway ! i'm glad that you've enjoyed my writing so far <3

yeah, things don't don't need to work out all the time. i'm realising this the hard way, through adulting. really makes me wanna go back and give my younger self a good whooping on the ass to have ever wanted to grow up fast so desperately. but yeah, hope your shit works out man (✿◡‿◡)

lmaoooo no bc ! its so fun to just simply yap about stuff , that's like writing but ... verbally ,,, you could litch rally make a yap blog and i'd read it alllllll :3 also what book is this, drop the nameeeee :'D no but like i get you not being able to take tumblr seriously bc i was like ! i can't talk about this shit on tumblr ! tumblr's supposed to be for my clownery ! all the grownup stuff needs a different platform altogether sjsdksjd but if you ever consider making a blog, i think i'll read it fo the vibes itself. and the words ofc and opinions and stuff. like that's important too gaaaahhhhh what i'm saying is ,, i think you'd make a really amusing and entertaining blog - in a good way !!

anyway ! i think i needed a medium to unscramble the crap in my brain so the blog served well (even though it was an impulsive decision lol) but yeah ! go for it, you won't regret it. nobody really gaf's in the beginning, like readership is low babes, unless you have friends who will actively read your shit but that's a big comfort to me lololol. not sicouraging you in anyway, but its a point to consider if you're looking for a chill sesh with your own writing haha <3

[onedayatatime-please]

Thursday, Aug. 15th, 2024. 1:03 pm

I've spent the whole day with extreme anxiety. I did my breakfast sandwich, shower, and everything like I said I would, but in between has been spent doing breathing exercises to try and calm myself down as my heart has been racing. I have been sitting in front of my computer emotionally prepping for my therapy appointment only to get a call five minutes before its supposed to start telling me that its been cancelled because the therapist had some sort of emergency and is now no longer taking new clients. This is fine, shit happens. Im now just emotionally exhausted and a bit upset that I had to change the person I wanted to be my therapist, and the new person im going to do intake with seems good but not quite as good. Who knows, maybe im wrong and Im gonna end up loving them but Im so fucking tired.

Also I had a dream last night where I was back on Randy's farm and got to say hi to Bandito. He must be a very old horse now if he is still alive (I know his mother passed a few years ago), and in my dream his hairs were greying a bit, but he still had the white pattern around his eyes. There was a girl there working on the farm and we were flirting, and in the dream I was kinda hoping to get with her. Most of the dream was spent on the farm, but at some point it shifted to a desert scape and suddenly I was in a war zone and hiding out in some low mud buildings from a group of soldiers. As some point a soldier found me and the last thing I remember from my dream was crying and begging for my life as he pointed his gun in my face. Very weird to have those two things happen one after the other.

I woke up feeling like I had not slept at all, which has been pretty much how I've been waking up every day recently.

I'm gonna clean the house and get ready for my cousins to be here in 3 hours. I am also going to try and photograph some more drawings for my portfolio so I can work on uploading them when I am visiting with my grandparents.

I am not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

9:42 pm edit:

Dinner went well and now I am very tired. I had a call with 🪶. He’s going to another city on the same days I’ll be near him. I think it’s time I move on from him. I loved him so much, and it’s not his fault that his life is falling apart. I want to be there for him and I want to keep loving him because I love loving him but I know it’s not sustainable. A part of me feels like I should just go along for the ride, I’m twenty, it doesn’t need to be sustainable yet. But I don’t want a ride, not really. He does tho, he wants to do crazy shit and that would be fine if we could work together to sustain our relationship on top of that but that doesn’t seem likely. This has been coming for so long I don’t really feel sad about it yet, I just feel lonely. I haven’t felt like I’m actually in a relationship for a while. And he was the one who made me want a sustainable relationship in the first place. I was so set on being lonely, but then I met him and it made me realize that I really do want another person, I want to be married, I want kids. But he doesn’t want any of that yet and he probably doesn’t want it with me either way. I’m glad that we were able to love each other for the few years we did. I wish things could be simple, but they are not. I don’t want to break it off with him because I’m afraid of experiencing true loneliness again after knowing what it’s like to actually not be lonely. Either decision leads to me being fucking miserable for a certain amount of time and I keep doing this thing where I try to negotiate and find a middle ground where I can be kind of okay for a little bit but that’s not how all this shit is gonna work in the end. I love him and I know that he loves me but we are at a time in our lives where we cannot fulfill each others needs in a stable relationship and so instead we are probably going to part ways and never hear from each other again and the thought of that makes me fucking sick.

I feel like a coward for wanting to leave him when he is struggling even though he is actively pushing me away.

I Wanna be an Astronaut floating through space

And be tied to a ship by a cord and just be simple and quiet.

But instead I’m a dog.

I’m gonna go to the ocean soon, so I can float in the water.

I’m not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

[schwarzeneggr]

slowly voicing my concerns abt being handicapped and iv been treated with nothing but understanding. Everyone keeps tellin me to get on benefits lol cause we are SO lucky to have social security and access to meds and such its just... I already have a handicapped status which I am ashamed of. Anything further paperwork wise is just a valid on INK confirmation that the me from less than 5 years old is dead. That in 5 years I have become. a fucking handicapped bitch !!! Thats litteraly what I am. There are things about me that are wrong. And I have to make do. Great. Fucking great. I used to dream about matching my peers and becoming a wonderful animation student and then master. And I'm learning that my dreams were in vain. That I had no chance to follow up in the first place. That their improvements are constant and exponential but mine take 5x more time. And the worse is that they always did. So I always did 5x the work because i REALLY wanted to be fucking good. I wanted to be Louie Zong man. But I no longer have the energy. If i socialize for more than 5 hours one day I need an entire day break from that. I need immediate silence after idk. overusing my ears or something. I cant look in the eyes anymore im in kaput mode. Meanwhile people my age have an entire portfolio, have worked on multiple projects that have been available online, have build up experience, edited graphic novels .... What the fuck. All I have is yaoi. 🫥 there isnt a word to describe how pathetic i feel. I am dust on their boots. If I cant physically follow then why do I still have the same ambitions ? Why cant i fucking give up the desire to become GOOD. not iust GOOD but like NOTEWORTHY GOOD. Wat am i looking for but the love i have lacked while growing up. Its so annoying. wats the point dude. let go. i am average. not even noteworthy bad. just not noteworthy. and 11 y old me is just looking down at me

[nako-doodles]

ngl i feel like i should know all this "adulting" stuff like stocks, investments, 401k etc but i don't. i think cus 1 i never had a good enough job to even put money in a 401k so i dont and i dont think im good enough with money to invest in stocks.. like unless you have SO many shares that you'll make significant money back each month, why bother. but then again i guess the only way to get there is to build it but still. need to be rich to.. be rich. also still bitter i gave my ex 1k to put into his stocks thinking it'll be for our future and i never got that $ back ;-;

i honestly think budgeting, financing, and taxes should be a class taught in hs, instead of left for your family to teach you, or for college students to learn the hard way. and youre right! the whole 'you gotta save 10-20% of your earnings' comes from a place in privilege bc you gotta HAVE 10-20% of your paycheck available TO BE saved. HOWEVER i do think you should have an emergency fund set aside, lord knows its saved me LOTS during my college years, and esp during the p*ndemic and my sudden no-longer-short-term stay abroad. its doesnt even have to be much (god knows this infl*tion has fucked up a lot of ppl and their savings), but if you can, you should! you should also diversify the form your money takes, like in stocks, bonds, etc etc. so just incase sthing happens (like a giant stagfl*tion) not all your money is going to be affected in the same way (usually govt bonds do well when the economy tanks)

401ks are retirement plans that employers set aside for you bc they get a tax break from it, so most employers will do it for their employees, but even if they dont, you should still get an IRA bc using them allows you to get taxed less overall (in general).

stocks on the other hand are helpful tools for finance management, but you shouldnt treat them like gambling (like most rich ppl do w their fancy ai bots and huge wealth management teams). you should treat them like a savings/cd account or a govt bond where you put money in a portfolio and you can get interest.

i found this youtube channel really helpful for finance tips

[kisskissbanggang]

Hello Stranger

[14K Words/1Hr. Read - Teacher!Bang Chan x Admin!Female Reader - Fake Relationships, Guest Appearances, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn, New Teachers, Vanilla, Office Sex, Allusions To Troubling Subjects]

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You should’ve expected a phone call when you read the email. At least then you would be somewhat prepared for the verbal lashing you were currently receiving from one of your greatest teachers. 

“I’m sorry, but — wait, you know what? No I’m not, I’m not sorry — but I am not staying here with this dumpster fire waiting to happen! He’s wrecking the department — Johnny, let me talk — and I didn’t even want him here to begin with. Congratulations, ma’am, you torpedoed my program I worked so hard to build.”

Doyoung paused, waiting for you to call his bluff, to appeal to his good side as usual. He was right. He’d done so much for his school — for the district, really, and this was getting out of hand. Johnny could be heard behind him, the poor principal having apparently had his desk phone wrestled away from him to begin with. 

“Mr. Kim,” you spoke into the phone, mustering all the confidence you had in you, “what do you want me to do? I mean it. Tell me what you want.”

“He goes or I go,” Doyoung dramatically laid out into your ear. Johnny could be heard trying to console the raving teacher before Doyoung apparently ducked him every few seconds. “I’m losing my mind. I have 150 students becoming fucking hypnotized and they’re influencing their peers like the plague.”

“Besides losing either of you,” you carefully negotiated, “what do you want me to do? I value your input; I always have. Dig into the meat with me here, please.”

“I will not teach beside some noble renegade who wears hoodies to class and asks his students to call him by his first name. I won’t teach in the same building, nor in the same school. This is dangerous, and you know it is. For all the money you’re throwing at PR this year you could be putting it in your students.”

You hated that Doyoung was right. This was not a great start to the year. A sigh escaped that you had not meant for, and Doyoung audibly steeled himself on the other end of the receiver. He was waiting now. 

“I’m coming down there,” you announced. Apparently Johnny heard you, a god fucking dammit being heard behind Doyoung’s shoulder. Doyoung, however, was sated. 

“Fine,” he replied, but he didn’t sound fine. He sounded like he was surprised he got anywhere. “I’m sorry I got so upset.”

And like that, Doyoung hung up. You slumped down in your chair, having been pacing your otherwise pristine office for the past 15 minutes which had felt more like 15 hours. You were fussily rearranging your desk, trying to calm yourself back down when your assistant finally felt it was safe enough to poke her head into your office. 

“Ma’am—” Yeji greeted before you held up a hand to stop her. You pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation. 

“How many more calls this week?”

“Only four,” she replied. A relieved sigh softened your tense shoulders as she set the personnel file you requested on your desk. 

You felt so old now, run ragged by all the mayhem, but it wasn’t so long ago that you were young yourself. Even then, you still were according to most standards. You were the youngest assistant superintendent to ever serve the district, a set of magnet schools within the city comprised of one private Montessori primary school, one public STEM-focused junior high, and one private-public hybrid high school of the arts. You pined for the ultimate position, but that chair was long occupied by Mr. Simmons, a token favorite of the school board. He called you dear and was always acting like some big man pitying a little girl. However, this didn’t mean you hadn’t tried like hell to make an impression. 

Your first three years had been a terrific uphill trajectory. In year one, you brought on Doyoung to replace the retiring choir teacher and head of the music department at the high school. To date, he’d brought in more accolades than his predecessor did in twice the time. For your second year, you collaborated with your junior high on an agricultural enrichment program that offset food costs district wide to the point you could improve offerings in all three cafeterias. This year, you re-established the district PTA. Doyoung’s rabid Booster Club and the parents of the junior high’s robotics team made up the first meeting, and more and more parents had joined since. 

So it only seemed fair that this year was your first true hurdle. It had been such an innocent decision: you took a proposed program from the junior high and adapted it for your high school students. A music production and distribution program was a clean, sleek idea that was sure to impress the PTA and enrich the lives of your students in their already affluent music department and work as a dual credit with the business side of the class. What you hadn’t betted on, however, was what exactly a young teacher could get into in a high school setting. 

Chris Bang wasn’t naive — you were sure of it, looking at his portfolio. He’d cut his teeth independently producing from a young age and gathering a loyal following online. This was a concept you understood well enough, but had a time and a half explaining to anyone older than you, it seemed. Anyone older than you, but also especially Doyoung, who was very fiercely proud of his hard work to get his double Masters in Choral Conducting and Music Theory at 21 and didn’t have the patience for homegrown prodigies. You couldn’t blame Doyoung, really, even with his dramatics. His competition choir was a force to be reckoned with — surprisingly disciplined, endlessly talented, and ravenously competitive — and now two of his students were wrapped up in all this, too, and that was just the extent you were aware of. 

You tapped out an IM to Yeji from your desktop, asking her to come back into your office, and she dutifully popped in a few seconds later. She pulled up a chair in front of your desk as you rested your head in your hands for a moment. “Tell me, Yeji,” you sighed, “what’s your read on this?”

“Well, ma’am,” she mulled it over, “it’s not great. It’s awful, really. But it’s hard to tell by now what’s real, what’s a cry for attention, or what feels real but is actually just the zeitgeist. You know how this is, what it can turn into.”

You did. You’d remembered your own whirlwind feelings at a similar age, even just out of high school. Strangers and dissenters had a hard time believing it, but before you had assumed the role of meticulously poised and proper, you were frustratingly belligerent and stubborn like many of your peers when you were younger. It was easy to recall how real, how present every moment was at the time, but you didn’t even remember the whole story now. In fact, you hadn’t thought of that story in ages, but you were suddenly reminded of the smell of pine trees and sugar, the cool electricity of being out past midnight. It was quite possibly the most excited you’d ever felt, but now you couldn’t remember the fine details, the corners sanded down to curves over time. To your students, these letters were the most exciting and dramatic thing to ever happen to them, and if they would remember the details later on would depend on how you handled the situation. 

The first letter surfaced just a week before, and online of all places. A full declaration of this girl’s undying love for Chris and all of the very, very, very inappropriate things she wanted to do with him, found in an envelope on the keyboard outside his office and posted online before he could ever see it. The next letter was eventually found two days later, apparently picked up from where it had missed the trash can: a 17 year old boy, feeling emboldened enough to finally profess who he was — gay, madly in love with Chris, and willing to risk it all. A third was stolen from a girl’s backpack from some bullies and she had been a wreck, so sure that Chris had picked one of the other two and she’d missed her chance. That girl hadn’t returned to school yet. Who knew what else was going on in the hallways, in the cafeteria and bathrooms, in the parking lot after school? 

Four more parents contacted your office, according to Yeji. Four more letters. And now Doyoung was threatening to quit, for added reasons you hadn’t even been aware of. You flipped through Chris’ personnel file, hoping not to find any red flags, but hopefully find any reason this spiraled out of control, anything other than tumultuous teenage life wreaking havoc on your students. 

Your sigh renewed in spades as you glanced at your assistant again. “Who do you remember most from high school?”

Yeji’s eyes were cast downward as she thought about it. “Other than my friends? Probably the student teacher in my auto class,” she blissfully reminisced. “The teacher would sleep half the time and the student teacher would just teach us whatever we wanted to know and what we needed to know for tests. I remember I had the biggest crush because of that.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” Yeji gave an apologetic smile. “What about you?”

Her question knocked you off your feet for a moment. For some reason, you hadn’t been expecting it, but you immediately had an answer. “Aside from friends? Weirdly enough,” you began, “someone I didn’t meet until graduation.”

As sickly sentimental as the thought of it was, it was true. You didn’t even remember that boy’s name anymore, but you’d met exactly three times before you left for college. He had been hanging out by the bonfire on the beach at a grad party no one had expected to get so crazy. You couldn’t remember your conversation, but you could remember his bleached hair tucked under a beanie catching your eye as he sat by himself, his friends apparently wreaking havoc on their own somewhere. His lip ring was crooked, and in a fit of beer-buzzed confidence you’d fixed it for him while you talked about the phony gravitas of graduation. You’d almost kissed him, too, connecting over things that seemed way more kismet than they probably were when your friends finally made you walk home with them. 

You gathered up the rest of your patience and courage as you bid Yeji goodbye until your return and headed out to your car in the lot, making the tedious journey to the high school. The handsomely vintage architecture was charmingly modern inside the gates and within its walls, but not overly so. However, this also meant the school was a hike and a maze to navigate through to find the music department. You were distracted, though, missing a turn here or there and having to turn back a couple times now that you were suddenly remembering your clandestine romance from years ago. What was his name? It wasn’t even that long ago. Had so much really happened since then? You wracked your brain. He had a reasonably fresh and nice scratcher tattoo on his bicep, you remembered, but you couldn’t remember what it was for some reason, just like his name. He had to have said it in one of these memory bites. 

The second time you’d met, he’d been handing out flyers on the boardwalk for his own show at a rave in a warehouse on the other side of town, out where the beach met the woods. He’d seen you before you’d seen him, and he had popped up with a greeting of Hello, stranger. He had made you promise to be there, which is where you met the third and final time later that night. He greeted you again the same way. Hello, stranger. You’d thought it was cute then, and still did, which must be why you still remembered that detail, at least. He liked your shoes, your worn work boots you’d picked up at a thrift store and refused to get rid of despite all the times your parents asked. 

Those warehouse shows were always nuts, all sorts of vendors arriving who were willing to shack up with any event that passed through. He had bought you cotton candy from one of these vendors when you met him after his set and you chatted as you walked along the tree line, talking about his dreams of becoming rich and famous on his own terms. He kissed you, once, and you tasted his lip ring and spun sugar for weeks. You found yourself wondering now if he ever did become rich and famous. 

Doyoung gave you a passing glance in the hall as you stalked towards Chris’s classroom: he looked impatient but thrilled and, sure enough, well dressed in his usual suit and tie. You wondered if this new staff member was exactly what Doyoung was fear mongering. Maybe it was simply a difference in values. This was Chris’ first year teaching professionally, you remembered, and now you felt miserably guilty. What a horrible way to start a career. You hadn’t even visited your new teacher since he began, but just the door outside his room was a mess. Doyoung’s fretting made more sense now. Even though you’d only gotten four phone calls, Chris’s classroom door was plastered in letters. 

The door creaked and fluttered as you opened it and peeked your head inside. The room was devoid of any human presence. For a space that needed to serve multiple purposes, it was sparsely filled except for classroom materials and equipment. Regular desks and chairs filled the floor as opposed to risers or music stands like in the other department classrooms, but there was still a soundproof practice room in the back of the room, and only the recording equipment stored around the room gave any hint to the classroom’s purpose. To deal with the mess after the third letter, a sub was leading Chris’s classes in the library, but you at least expected to find him here himself, or at least some posters or framed photos. You peeked inside the small office at the head of the classroom, finding it just as empty as well, but with some more personality. A few extra milk crates of visibly nicer vinyl records for sampling and listening were stacked beside the desk along with a nicer record player than what was by his desk out in the classroom. Some books sat on a shelf with a modest cactus in the corner, and finally some photos: Chris shaking hands and smiling with tons of industry players and friends, and occasionally appearing in one of those hoodies Doyoung had been warning of. He did own suits, apparently. Multiple. And he looked good in them. 

A polite cough surprised you at the door of the office. 

You whirled around, the sun outside silhouetting Chris as he stared at you in his dimly lit office. “My office hours are cancelled this week. May I help you?”

It was your turn to cough, clearing your throat. He was certainly young. He was certainly handsome, his grimace pronouncing the charming dimples in his cheeks. He certainly didn’t dress like a teacher. Chris stood in the doorway of his own office, looking at you curiously in his hoodie, jeans, and sneakers. He even had a backpack hung on his shoulder and a bag of greasy fast food in his hands. He suddenly looked down at it, embarrassed. 

“I, er, wore out my welcome in the teacher’s lounge, it seems,” he sighed out a sullen laugh. “And I needed some fresh air.”

“Mr. Bang, I—“

“Call me Chris,” he insisted with a tired grin. Your heart shamefully thumped at how friendly and cute he was. It was easier to pretend you didn’t hear him. He stepped around you and dropped down into his desk chair. He silently gestured at his food, appearing to ask if you were alright if he ate while you talked. You nodded. He dug into the bag and cheekily offered you a fry. You coolly shook your head. 

“I’m sorry we have to meet like this, but as assistant superintendent—“

Chris sputtered, standing up from his chair as he choked down the fry he’d just put in his mouth. “Ma’am,” he gasped finally, “I didn’t—“

“I know,” you nodded again. You waved up a hand in understanding. “Please, sit back down. I wanted to come by and see how you’re doing, considering the current state of affairs.”

Chris stayed standing, uneasy and fidgeting. “Alright, what do you want? Is this it? Please don’t suggest I need an attorney, I don’t think I can handle it.”

“What?” You asked, surprised. 

“I’m sorry for snapping,” Chris lamented, “but I’ve gotten dozens of emails and messages through the school portal from parents and students asking me if I did anything, and it’s doing my head in.”

“They’re what?!” You hadn’t even considered anyone actually thought the teacher was guilty of anything. He nodded gravely. 

“Read the letters outside!” His demand came out brokenly as he pointed behind you. “They’re begging me and taunting me to do all sorts of shit. Confess, quit, fuck them — all sorts of awful trash that I never even imagined. I just wanted to teach. I don’t know why the hell this is happening to me.”

You had no idea about any harassment. This looked bad. It looked bad to your students, their parents, the staff — everyone. You pulled out your phone from your purse and brought up the PR rep’s number, now on your speed dial. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Of course I didn’t—“ he sputtered before you cut him off. 

“I wasn’t asking, Mr. Bang. You didn’t do anything and I believe you. A good superintendent would support good staff. Your first few months brought nothing but praise past my office.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Chris quietly said. He finally sat down as you dialed the rep. She would be by shortly. You found another chair hiding under a pile of books and cds and moved them so you could sit. Chris was looking at you oddly now as you hung up, sitting closer than you’d normally like in the small office. You shifted uncomfortably. Chris offered you a fry again before you stiffly refused once more. He shrugged and began inhaling his food in earnest. 

“Hungry?” You asked sarcastically, instantly regretting it. There was no sense in kicking him while he was down. 

“Emotional eater,” he clarified around a mouthful, equally sarcastic in your resumed awkward silence. You considered the young teacher in front of you. If you recalled the personnel file, he wasn’t just a brand new teacher, he was new to the area as well. A rumor apparently spread among the students and even some of your staff that he had been running away from something, but you never paid that any attention until you were actually in the same room with him. He caught you zoning out in his direction, an eyebrow raised as he paused on his mouthful of food, and you sheepishly pulled out your phone and checked your agenda until your rep finally found you hiding out together in the tiny office. 

Ryujin had become your go-to girl since the school year started but even more so over the past week. Public relations for a school district should never have to become very high-maintenance work, but Ryujin was quickly proving herself over-qualified for the job. She stood in the doorway, tall and cool in her confidence despite her short stature as she looked over the situation. 

“Stand up,” she simply directed Chris. 

He gave you a quick glance, not moving until you nodded. Chris set his food down and stood, hands in his hoodie pockets as Ryujin circled him. He warily shied away from her prodding as she pinched and pulled at his clothes, looking at tags and labels. She fiddled with the cute studs in his ears, tugged on the strings of his hoodie to draw him more to her level, and ruffled his dark, fluffy hair to look for showing roots or product. Ryujin looked at you now. “This isn’t so bad,” she told you decidedly. 

Chris was confused, left about ten miles behind the conversation. “Why—“

“What do we do?” You asked. Chris looked wildly between both of you as you decided his fate without him. “We’re dealing with harassment now.”

“Of course we are,” Ryujin nodded thoughtfully, “I mean, look at him.”

“Hey!” Chris rightfully looked offended, even as you held up a calming hand to settle him down. Ryujin impatiently waited for you to let her continue. 

“He doesn’t look like a teacher, he doesn’t act like a teacher, he’s under 30, and— I’m sorry— he’s cute. He was bound to get eaten alive when his students are only a few years younger than him and he has no experience.”

“So,” you reiterated, “what do we do?”

“He can go back to teaching,” Ryujin ruled, “but he has to look and act the part. No more first-name basis, no more street clothes.”

“This is so ridiculous!” Chris laughed in disbelief. 

Both you and Ryujin glared at him now before she continued. “He’ll have to make a statement first. I’ll write it, of course. He can speak at the next PTA meeting. But —“ she turned to face him for once, “you shouldn’t be alone. Do you have a spouse? A partner? Some boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Now you shared Chris’ confused look. “Why does that matter?”

Ryujin folded her arms. “I don’t mince words. Sympathy, mostly. For anyone worrying, he’ll clearly appear to have support. For anyone who is doubting him, he clearly appears to have a loyal and loving presence in his life that can attest to Mr. Bang never having any nefarious predilection for his students and never intending to inspire any regrettable actions. It’s ultimately a similar reason to why I suggested you should wear a wedding ring.”

Your face heated up once again at being outed in front of your staff member. Ryujin had suggested a fake wedding ring ages ago when you first hired her. The moment you were appointed, parents instantly began doubting you. Even Superintendent Simmons, a parent himself, questioned you at your third interview. How could you — a young woman with no spouse and no children of your own — ever deign to understand what it’s like to raise and nurture one? The sheer stubbornness that you felt in response to that sentiment made you refuse such a placating notion as a fake wedding ring. Chris seemed to notice your embarrassment before he piped up himself, almost seeming to want to change the subject back for your sake. 

“No,” Chris said simply, “I’m single and fine with it.”

“Look,” Ryujin rolled her eyes, “that is fine. Find a fake, then. It just needs to look real. It’s not fair, but these parents will assume you’re a better person if you’re not single in this situation. They need to see that you’re a loving and committed professional who just wants to teach and nurture young minds. The next PTA meeting is this Thursday night. Today is Tuesday, so you have a little time, but not much. Consider it, and I’ll have an optional line in your statement for whatever you decide. Do you have a suit?”

“For funerals and weddings,” Chris grumbled. 

“A sweater is fine then,” Ryujin shrugged. She put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “This is going to be fine. Let me know if you need anything.”

“You’re leaving?” You realized with thorough embarrassment that you sounded distressed. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” she sighed, “the Superintendent wants a meeting about his son or something. You will be fine. Keep me updated.”

Ryujin ghosted out the door as fast as she’d come, and Chris reeled. “The nerve! I can’t believe her, can you?”

“Yes,” you nodded seriously, “I can. She’s right.”

“Oh, come on!” Chris blustered. You stood back up now, gathering your bag in the crook of your arm and straightening the carefully pressed collar of your suit jacket. 

“I don’t want to see you have to end your career so soon, Mr. Bang,” you sympathized as you pulled out a business card from your purse and handed it to him. “Again, I’ve only heard good things about you until all this. Call me if you need anything. You shouldn’t have to face this alone.”

Things settled for one day. And then Thursday morning happened. Yeji was pale as you entered the office in the morning. 

“John called from his cell.” 

You checked your watch. First period was just starting at the high school. 

God dammit. 

You jogged into your office, grabbed the phone, and dialed him back. Johnny was out of breath. “I have a situation,” he panted into the phone. You could hear shouting behind him. Specifically, you could hear Doyoung shouting behind him. God dammit. 

The tires on your car screeched as you peeled out of the parking lot of the admin building, tearing across town and barely breathing until you passed through Johnny’s office on your way into the building. He was icing his cheek with a cold pack from the nurse, his tie loose and slack around his neck and his suit jacket haphazardly slung over the back of his chair. Before you could say anything, he just shook his head with a disappointed laugh before returning to work at his computer. You walked quickly through the hallway, students watching you from their first period classrooms until you reached the music department. Taeil, the band teacher, closed Doyoung’s door behind him as he saw you in the hall. 

“Ma’am,” the teacher greeted, thoroughly exhausted, “I wouldn’t go in there. We already called a sub for the rest of the day and I took Doyoung’s kids to the library for independent study.”

“Thank you, Mr. Moon,” you thanked him graciously, “do you have any idea what happened?” Taeil shrugged helplessly. His tie was crooked as well, his rolled sleeves uneven. You looked over at Chris’ room, open to the hall. Letters had shuffled off the door and onto the hallway floor. “Take care of Doyoung,” you instructed Taeil, “make sure he’s okay and that he gets home alright.”

Taeil nodded and let himself back into Doyoung’s classroom as you carefully approached Chris’. The room was dark, books and papers strewn across the floor. You cautiously switched on the light, only to find the teacher slumped in his chair at the head of the room, icing his own face with a metal water bottle. He silently glanced at you and sighed as you rushed over to check on him. You set your purse on his desk and gingerly pulled the water bottle away, sharing Chris’ sigh as you saw the bruise on his cheek. It felt a bit gross to still find him so frustratingly handsome in this moment. 

“What happened?” You softly asked him. Chris sank into the chair and gave a dejected shrug, helpless to recollect. And he didn’t get much of a chance to even try, as a commotion erupted in the empty hallway. Doyoung stood fuming in the doorway with Taeil futilely attempting to pull him away. 

“So you are here,” Doyoung grimaced at you before he shot a glare at Taeil, “why are you lying for her? Everyone is treating me like I’m insane and I’ve had it.” He stormed over, only stopped as you turned to press a confrontational hand to his chest. Doyoung had quite the busted lip. 

“Mr. Kim, I know tensions are high—” you began staunchly before Doyoung steamrolled you. 

“Do you?! Do you even know what happened?” He leaned to the side, staring daggers into Chris. “Tell her, you sorry excuse of a—“

“I’m telling you, Kim, just like I have been telling you,” Chris glowered, “I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about! You’re the one who came in here looking to start a fight.”

“You’re a goddamn liar!” Doyoung shouted. You put your hands on his shoulders, making him look at you. 

“Tell me, then, Mr. Kim.”

Doyoung shiftily looked back and forth between the two of you. “Tell you what, ma’am?” he grumbled. “Tell you that I had the joy of overhearing one of my brightest students talking with her friends during zero period, bragging about fucking in his practice room? Tell you that she’s just a freshman? Tell you that I caught her and her friends giggling as she wrote her own fucking letter?” 

Doyoung pulled a crumpled piece of notebook paper out of his suit jacket and shoved it into your hands. You looked back at Chris, his shaking eyes horrified as he was apparently hearing this all for the first time. 

“I admit, I took matters into my own hands. I flew off the handle. Why, though, would I come to you with all this first, ma’am?” Doyoung pleaded. You recognized the helpless heartache in his eyes, hating how much he was losing his students. “You wouldn’t come to me first if I asked for your help. You’d go straight to him.”

You glanced down at the notebook paper in your hands, catching glimpses of curly, naive confessions, and you looked back at Chris again. He didn’t look guilty. You didn’t want him to be. You wanted this all resolved, as cleanly as possible before you possibly wrecked the year before winter break. You thought fast. 

“I did go to him first, Mr. Kim,” you conceded, quiet yet confident, “and I apologize if my actions come across as selfish, but this ordeal has caused quite the strain on mine and Chris’ relationship, even more so since it’s still fairly new.”

Doyoung backed up, aghast as his eyes flicked between the two of you again. His normally soft gaze was pure hellfire. “You’re kidding me,” he shook his head in disbelief. He had no interest in waiting for a confirmation before he turned to storm off, herding Taeil along with him. 

Chris was staring at you when you turned back to face him, shocked as he was at your sudden plan. “Why the hell did you do that?” 

You pulled out your phone to dial Ryujin, but before you actually sent the call through, you bored your eyes into Chris, who was still wincing past the bruise on his face. “You still didn’t do anything?”

“Never,” he adamantly shook his head. 

“Good,” you nodded. “We will need to talk before the PTA meeting tonight. My assistant will call you with details.” You plucked your purse up from his desk and shouldered it. Chris watched, still stunned as you made for the door. His continued stare made you pause, a hand on the door frame as you turned back to face him. “You’re innocent,” you explained, “but if you quit you’ll be proving everyone who’s doubting you right. It seems like no one is on your side except me, so if no one will do anything then I will. You’ll be fine, Mr. Bang.” With that, you regained your confidence once more to walk down the hall. You caught your breath before you tapped out a message for Ryujin on your phone. Somehow, you didn’t expect her to call you right away. 

“I’m sorry, but you what?!” Ryujin exclaimed, stooping you in your tracks from wherever she was. 

“You said he needs to find someone and make it look real!” You hissed, trying to keep your composure the best you could in the quiet hallway. 

“I didn’t mean you!”

You grumbled out a curse under your breath. “Well, it’s a bit too late for that clarification,” you bit out, “so what do I do now?”

Ryujin could be heard tapping on her cell phone as she spoke to you. “I’m on it,” she assured you, “and I’m sure you already figured you need to talk before the PTA meeting tonight. We need to make sure you’re on the same page. I’m forwarding you the statement I wrote. Hang tight, I’m going to meet you at your place.”

Chris frowned at the suit laid out on top of your couch after you’d extracted it from its garment bag. Ryujin had brought it, on loan from some unnamed resource, complete with notecards of her prepared statement in the breast pocket. “Why does this also feel like proving everyone right for some reason,” he said uncomfortably. 

“What exactly is wrong?” You sighed. Chris fidgeted. He looked out of place in your apartment, his soft black hoodie and worn jeans contrasting starkly with your minimalist and meticulously organized sanctuary. His brows were furrowed with impending panic, but he looked determined. 

“I’m nervous,” he bemoaned, “tell it to me again.”

“We met over the summer at a cafe downtown,” you explained impatiently. 

“That’s so soon for someone like you to be backing up a pariah like me,” Chris laughed, almost on the verge of breakdown, apparently. He was choking down a milkshake. He’d brought you one too, of course, but when you politely refused he took it as a consolation prize. It was incredible to you that he seemed to be in such good shape for how much food he put down. Or, you realized, maybe a catastrophe of this caliber wasn’t very common for him. 

“Put on the suit, Mr. Bang,” you urged, “please?”

“Oh my god, you need to stop calling me that if we’re dating!” Chan nervously laughed again.

“Look, I’ll be just fine, I’ll be able to fix it when we’re in front of people,” you insisted, “but you need to calm down.”

“Calm down? I’m having an entire escape plan thrust upon me and I’m trying to adjust.”

“Well,” you huffed as you found yourself meeting his level, “maybe you wouldn’t need this escape plan if you didn’t take such a lax approach to teaching.”

“Excuse me?” Chris asked, blindsided by your outburst. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what people are saying!” You doubled down in defense, squaring up against him as you impatiently folded your arms. 

“Why don’t you tell me, ma’am, what exactly people are saying about me?” Chris stood defiantly, toe to toe with you and daring you to follow through. You took the bait. 

“You know exactly what people are saying,” you challenged him, “that you refuse to take the role seriously because it’s easier that way. You give these students too much freedom, and you’re encouraging them to act out. Who needs homework? Who needs textbooks? Who needs seating charts? They call you by your first name and think you’re their best friend, that you’re one of them, only older, just like they wish they were! They live and die by your approval because you seem so cool and you don’t seem like a teacher.”

“Oh, so I don’t seem like a teacher now?” Chris scoffed. 

“They certainly don’t respect you like one,” you snapped. A deep pause coursed through you both like a cold breeze before he burst. 

“Well you sure as hell don’t respect me like one, so why the hell are you helping me?!” Chris shouted. 

“Well,” you mocked, quickly losing grip, “here I was thinking it was the right thing to do!” You heaved out a frustrated sigh, throwing your hands in the air and finally turning away as you couldn’t stand to look at him. 

However, you may have glossed over the in-progress milkshake that had been in his hands, now currently all over his hoodie and on the spotless hardwood floor of your apartment. 

“Oh, great!” Chris laughed incredulously. “I sure look like I could use the help now, Miss Assistant Superintendent. Guess I’ll put on the stupid suit so I don’t make a bigger fool out of myself at my public execution tonight.”

Your face regrettably heated up as Chris frustratedly tugged his hoodie off over his head, his shirt following right after as he fished the pressed white shirt out from within the suit jacket. He had an admittedly nice figure, his toned torso never being hinted at through his comfy wardrobe. A set of tattooed compass roses on his upper arm caught your attention, and you wished you didn’t find it attractively endearing. “I don’t know why I agreed to this,” he ranted, “no one would ever believe I’d date a stuck-up, uptight, tyrant like you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” you fumed as you turned away, not wanting to get distracted, “except no one would believe I’d ever date an arrogant ingrate like you.”

Chris could be heard pacing behind you as he buttoned the shirt, apparently pausing at your mantle over the fireplace. “I bet you were a nightmare as a student, a real grade-grubber and brown-noser,” he grumbled, now seeming to have found your framed photos of you and your friends at graduation, first from high school and then from undergrad. “I’m going to hang myself with this godawful tie— is this you?”

You rolled your eyes as you walked over and snatched his tie out of his fingers to do it yourself. He’d already deftly changed his pants while you weren’t watching. “Sure, that’s me,” you muttered, “and no, I wasn’t a nightmare, thank you very much.” You paused as you felt a shift in his silence and glanced up at him. For the first time you noticed a subtle cologne on him, a gentle musk that was miserably attractive on him and you just wanted to get this over with even faster. Chris was giving you that indecipherable look again as you fiddled with the stupid necktie. From this close, you could see a cute little dot just under his lip, a telltale spacer that more than likely usually held a lip ring and—

Oh. 

Hello, stranger. 

Chris was gravely silent as he parked in front of your apartment later that night. The PTA meeting had been a disaster, starting the moment you left to travel back to the high school, where the meetings were held in the main theater. A loaded silence had staked itself between you the whole drive, and neither of you had reviewed Ryujin’s statement whatsoever. Nonetheless, you sat and stood close enough to each other during the meeting to be clear but not obscene in what you both were implying with your proximity, and you were faithfully beside him as he approached the podium. It was difficult to ignore the hushed whispers resounding through the audience. Chris’ brazen confidence was all but gone by now, fully broken as multiple hands immediately shot up to get a word in. Chris had forged ahead, though, even as his hands tried not to tremble around his notes. Ryujin’s statement didn’t mince words, just like her. He read out how his inexperience wrongly led him to take a more casual approach to teaching, how he’d recklessly and misguidedly inspired his students to put too much trust in him. He read out what a struggle this presented for both of you, being faced with accusations of such severity, and wishing to regain the trust of the assembled teachers and parents. The hands stayed in the air, and Johnny moderated question after question and Chris adamantly confirmed again and again and again that he had done nothing except naively neglect to put a firmer stop to all this. He was the one, and not Ryujin, to say that he should have brought the letters to Johnny’s attention and not simply ignored them, hoping the situation would stop on its own. More hands kept raising. Seemingly every parent belonging to a letter on Chris’ door was here wanting personal reassurance and, subsequently, a reason from him that their children were acting out. It felt like a never ending ordeal, a constant string of hurt and confused parents needing comfort. Johnny had no words for Chris when he finally ended the meeting, putting him out of his misery. Nothing else got done on the agenda that night. He only clapped a sympathetic hand to his teacher’s shoulder. 

You tapped out what happened in a text message to Ryujin. Her diagnosis was optimistic but tough, and in your continued silence in the car, you suddenly realized you were stopped in front of your apartment. Chris was quiet, zoning out at the wheel until you nudged him.

“Ryujin says we can still do this,” you encouraged him. “Enough of the parents should believe you. We just need to make sure the students and staff do, too…. as well as the board.”

Chris leaned forward, letting his head rest against the steering wheel. “I wish they didn’t have to believe me. They’re probably stressed as hell over this. This whole thing is such shit,” he muttered. “We don’t even like each other.”

“We don’t?”

“What?” Chris sullenly chuckled. “Just because we did ages ago?”

“I mean,” you shrugged, “I remembered that pretty fondly. I thought of that kiss all summer.”

“We kissed?”

Ouch. 

You sighed. “Fine then. You’re right. We don’t like each other. You’re cocky and naive and I’m…”

“Uptight?” Chris smirked, but he shut his mouth when you clearly didn’t appreciate the jab. “I’m sorry. I do appreciate everything you’re doing, you know. I just… I’m going through it.”

“I know,” you commiserated. 

“What do we do now?” 

“There’s a board meeting next Wednesday night,” you explained. “You can accompany me to that, and that’ll take care of them. Until then, we keep up appearances at school, now that we’re exposed.”

“How are we doing that?”

“I’ll figure something out,” you reassured him. “What’ll you do now?”

“Oh, you know,” Chris laughed tiredly, “probably go pick up a taco box and try not to ruin this suit.”

You nodded in understanding as you unbuckled your seatbelt and dug around in your bag for your keys. “No hoodies, okay?”

Chris nodded, watching as you stepped out of the car and fussily smoothed your skirt back down. “Do you need me to walk you up?”

“I can manage,” you grinned softly as you pulled something out of your bag. You handed him the offending note from that morning. “I didn’t do this just because I thought you didn’t do anything. This letter is addressed to a Chris but it appears to actually be a student named Christian S.”

“Oh,” Chris grimaced, “isn’t he Superintendent Simmons’ son? I have him in fourth period. He’s one of the first chairs in Taeil’s concert band. He’s sort of… gross, sometimes, about girls. I can’t say I’m surprised, but I’m still disappointed.”

“You alright?”

“I should’ve done something,” he muttered as he sank back into his seat, still staring at the letter. 

“Don’t start with that,” you lightly admonished, “it’s not always easy to know when to interfere.”

“Thank you,” Chris said quietly. 

“Of course,” you said with a small smile. “Goodnight.”

Johnny and Doyoung did a double-take as you walked into the music department the following day at lunchtime. It only made sense to you that if Chris was trying to dress up more, you’d match him by dressing down more. Your requisite suit and heels were switched out for a simple blouse with some tailored jeans and flats. That alone was a huge step for you, considering you even refused to dress down for the annual Welcome Back picnic for the district staff every year. You felt uncomfortable despite still looking clean and poised, but leagues more approachable apparently, proven as students’ passing glances lingered on their way to the cafeteria. Johnny’s look was simply one of surprise, but Doyoung’s was nothing but bitterness. Even Chris, as he happened to prop open his classroom door when you walked down the hall, was curious to see you looking so casual and chipper as you strutted up to him with a bundle in your arms. He was surprisingly handsome, wearing a blazer over a simple t-shirt with some slim jeans and sneakers — better, but not quite there. He couldn’t help a small smile as you theatrically revealed what you had brought: his cleaned hoodie and shirt folded and draped over a bag of takeout to split. 

“Hungry?” You asked sweetly, but hopefully not overdone. A couple of students walked past, their eyes boring into you. Chris looked unfazed, took the hoodie and shirt from your hands and, with a quick look down the hall at Doyoung and Johnny, beckoned you into the classroom with a nod.

“Starving,” he answered with a grin, and even gave Johnny a cheery wave as he promptly shut the door again behind you. “What are you doing here?” He quietly asked you, the dazzling facade of confidence instantly crumbling. His panicked surprise wasn’t lost on you. 

“We need to keep up appearances like I said. It’s Friday, you’re going through a hard time, and you’re eating like you grew another stomach. I brought us something to eat,” you explained, pushing the bag into his hands. 

“You—“ Chris looked dumbfounded, eyes darting between you and the food in his hands, “— brought me lunch?”

“Yes? What else was this supposed to be? I’m your girlfriend, for all intents and purposes.” You led Chris back into his own office and helped yourself to a seat. “We also need to brush up on our relationship in case anyone asks.”

“Fine,” Chris nodded as he dug into his food. “Let’s study, then. I’m guessing you went to college right after we met, and I’m sure you taught at least a little before this.”

“Grade schoolers,” you nodded, “it was good but not for me. I never asked about your accent.”

“You did, actually. That first time, so that’s probably why you don’t remember. I grew up in Sydney, moved here before junior year in high school. Do you live by yourself? I didn’t see a roommate or any cats.”

“I live by myself,” you confirmed, “I gave up on roommates around the time I took this job. No time for pets, either. I guess I’m too uptight.” Chris winced as you continued. “Yes, I’m aware of it; I guess I’m just sensitive. Did you find a good place in the area?”

“Yeah,” Chris said thoughtfully, “cute little house. You should probably see it sometime.”

“You bought a house?!”

Chris’ ears reddened. “Yes? Again, it’s little. A couple bedrooms, a couple bathrooms. Lots of work to be done on it, but it’s all mine. Here, look.” You watched, momentarily stunned as he fished his phone out of his pocket and clicked it open. He pulled up a surprisingly adorable photo of Chris in front of a humble little house, holding what you could only assume was his dog you didn’t know he had. “Cute, right? Her name is Berry. You should meet her.”

“I’m so sorry,” you shook your head in advance, “but you could afford a house? What brought you to teaching anyway?”

“Producing was good, but not for me,” Chris meekly bit at his lip, “I always wanted to try teaching what I know, and thankfully your team brought me on while I’m still earning my degree.”

“So one day you just decided to be an educator?” You asked dubiously. 

“Didn’t you?” Chris seemed more cagey now, more defensive. 

“Sure, but maybe this explains your approach to teaching.”

Chris sighed hard and set his food down. “You know what? I knew you were bringing it back to that. Here I was thinking we were on a little better footing after last night. My approach to teaching came from thinking of what I wanted when I was these kids’ age. I wanted someone to treat me with respect and value my opinion and talk to me like an adult.”

“Right,” you nodded, “but that acceptance clearly looks like an invitation to some students.”

“An invitation to what? The other staff are always saying how closed off their students are, but they’re not like that with me. They’re proactive, they’re independent, they’re thoughtful, they’re excited to be here.”

“What about students who aren’t yours?” You challenged him with your stare. It would’ve looked better in a suit. “Your students are in love with you — some of them literally — and it makes them act out with their other teachers, even students who aren’t yours are citing you as their inspiration. Terrific and capable teachers are being defied simply because they’re not you. Admit this is easier for you than establishing and upholding boundaries.”

Chris listened, but he scoffed nonetheless. “Fine. It’s easier. I’m terrified of these kids but I want them to like me and trust me. But even if I assign them homework and treat them like they’re children, that still won’t solve how the teachers don’t trust me.”

“They will,” you impatiently assured him. 

“Even Doyoung?”

“Why do you care?!” You gave a stunned chuckle. 

“I mean he punched me in the fucking face yesterday,” Chris shrugged. “Is it true you two dated?”

You gaped at him, stunned. “Why do you care?” You repeated. Chris nonchalantly shrugged. “Are you jealous?” You were provoking him on purpose, but there was no use in pretending you weren’t disgusted with this line of questioning. 

“No! We don’t even like each other.” Chris was floundering, now facing his desk more than you. “I’m a naive and arrogant asshole and you’re an uptight ballbuster who sold out, remember?”

“Sold out?” You guffawed, standing up now. “Who the hell do you think you are?! I grew up.”

“Right, well—“ Chris barked as he got up to square off against you. “Did you grow into a stuck-up busybody who is more worried about how she looks than how she’s doing?”

Chris’ ears were burning scarlet as you bristled at his words, but he still walked you to the door as you stormed away. “That was too much. I’m sorry,” he apologized sheepishly before he opened the classroom door into the hall. 

“Go fuck yourself, Mr. Bang,” you quietly gritted out, despite your saccharine smile in case anyone was watching. “I’m helping you and then I’m never speaking to you again.”

You were right back in your suit jacket and skirt on Monday, having stewed all weekend over how much more you hated doing this with Chris now. Worse, you hated feeling like he was right. He was shamefully attractive and smart and funny and charming and as much as you hated it — he was right. Somewhere between getting your teaching degree and getting offered your job, you’d become incredibly jaded by the people around you, but not without reason. Even now, the only people who went out of their way to make sure you didn’t feel like you were some child were Ryujin and Yeji… and Chris. Doyoung had, too, which was why you had dated briefly, but now he had joined everyone else in babying you like you were bound to fail. That wasn’t even mentioning the board, made up of all men from old money who mostly seemed to hire you for humor and bragging rights. Even still, this wasn’t even mentioning Superintendent Simmons, who talked to you like he was a lion with a mouse in its paws. 

So, sure, you had reasons to be aloof around the people surrounding you, but Chris’s nagging was starting to bother you. Yes, you were leagues more organized and fastidious than you had been growing up, and you even took some solace in sprucing up your space, but you also had to recognize you were quick to do that instead of facing problems at times. It was easy to organize the kitchen for the fourth time or clean out your closet, but it wasn’t always easy to deal with adult problems. You took great pride in your appearances, because looking capable helped you feel capable, but did that mean you were? It was difficult to say, almost as difficult as deciphering Yeji’s bemused look on your way into the office on Monday. 

A gorgeous bouquet of flowers was sitting on your desk. You curiously walked over, plucking the small envelope from within the buds and gently prying it open. 

Hello Stranger,

1. Are these still your favorite color? You mentioned it years ago so I could be wrong. 

2. I’m sorry about Friday again. I know I’m a hot-head and what I did was terrible. You’re not stuck-up, and you’re not a tyrant. When I think back to that summer, I thought we were on the same page, and now you make it look so easy while I feel like I’m completely lost and failing the whole time. I appreciate you helping me. Thank you. 

A stiff sigh fell from your lips as you looked at the note in your hands, with Chris’ dumb, nice handwriting giving you a feeling you couldn’t quite place. You quickly paged Ryujin and Yeji into your office. Once both girls were sat waiting for you, it was time for the dreaded question.

“What do people think of me?” 

Both girls looked like they’d seen their lives flash before their eyes as you sat at your desk and did some quick typing. When you showed them your screen, they both gasped. There was you, all acne and unfortunate appearance choices at your high school graduation. “It’s not a loaded question,” you promised, “think of it more as a confirmation. I think I’m trying too hard to hide this person.” You gave the girl in the photo a sympathetic look. She was bright, funny, and brimming with potential — even you could see that. 

Yeji surprisingly sighed out her answer first. “The other office staff were still whispering about you when you hired me. They said you just wanted to hire other young women to look progressive.”

All three of you rolled your eyes at the sentiment before Ryujin piped up. “The board does like you… because they think you’ll do their bidding. They think you’re ruthless. The teachers think you have an iron fist. The Superintendent? Well, you know how he feels.”

A sour grimace pulled at your lips. “Why don’t I like any of that?”

“Is it because it’s not what she would want?” Yeji thoughtfully asked you as she nodded in the direction of the photo on your computer screen. You thought back to what Chris had said, about wanting to be the person he wanted around at that age. It was such a trip, thinking of what that girl would do if she saw you now. She’d give you a belligerent sneer and close herself off from you because you were a cold witch and you knew it. The girls watched as your shoulders softened, sinking into your chair as you pulled out your phone and found Chris’ number that Yeji had fetched for you. 

>>Thanks for the flowers. I’ll be by tomorrow so we can try this all again before the board meeting dinner on Wednesday. 

There were decidedly less stares as you walked down the halls of the high school again the next day when the lunch period began. You saw Johnny try to catch your attention out of the corner of your eye, but you simply waved as you passed his office. You had a sneaking suspicion it was about your outfit. As opposed to Friday’s jeans, you felt much more comfortable being more comfortable as opposed to someone you thought you should be. The pencil skirt remained, only now in a cozier dark pallet and much comfier material. The biggest changes were pairing the skirt with a soft flannel shirt and a smart pair of suede oxfords. You felt exposed in how dressed down you were again, but Chris’ surprised smile as you stood in the doorway of his classroom reassured you. He looked good, his hair moderately styled back and wearing another smart blazer over another old band tee. You could see he was even wearing chinos today, still managing to coordinate them with some worn boots not unlike the pair you used to own all those years ago. It was a good look, one that made you a bit more bashful than you had been already. 

“Hello, stranger,” you cheekily greeted from the doorway. 

“Hey,” he smiled back, motioning for you to come in. 

“Hungry?” You asked, fishing a bag out of your purse and placing it in his hands. He peered inside as you set your purse on his desk. 

“Are these—?”

“I felt so awful this weekend,” you sighed as you leaned against his desk, still unable to keep from straightening stacks of his papers, “and especially after yesterday. I couldn’t think straight so I cleaned my apartment and made you some cookies.”

“You made me cookies?” He asked incredulously before taking a bite. You could’ve sworn his eyes actually sparkled for a moment. “Alright, these are so good there’s no way you still can’t think straight.”

“You’re right,” you nodded. “Just like you were already right, about almost everything. But you left one detail out.”

“What’s that?” Chris grinned around a mouthful of cookie.

“You make it look pretty easy yourself,” you smiled softly. Chris raised an eyebrow. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I know you do,” you laughed, “but it’s true! You’ve already done just fine in an industry of your choosing and impulsively decided to become an educator? And you just happen to be financially smart enough to have a house already? It’s reckless but it’s admirable.”

Chris choked on the last of his cookie, his dark hair falling out of place as he composed himself. “I, er, should be up front about that.”

“About what?”

“About deciding to change directions,” Chris sighed. “I had a giant proposal on my hands. I could have had my own company and my own team, but it was a huge investment entirely depending on me and my success. I froze up. I had enough. It felt way too big. I got rid of my fancy apartment, I got rid of my suits and watches, and I just moved.” A sigh fell from Chris’ lips as he folded his arms. He couldn’t meet your imploring stare. “I wish I could do what you do,” he continued. “I want to march headfirst into every single thing no matter what people think of me.”

A surprised laugh escaped you before you could stop it. You covered your mouth as your face heated up. “I’m terrified,” you explained. “Just like you were scared to take that chance, just like you and most of us are reasonably scared of these kids — I’m terrified. I’ve worn suits to attend sports events and picnics with the staff from how terrified I am of them.”

“Well, you look really good today,” Chris beamed at you, but the distracted nuance of his gaze didn’t let it last long. You playfully sat back on his desk, trying to keep his mood up. 

“I feel good today.”

“I lied, by the way,” Chris sheepishly blurted. “I know we kissed that night. I thought about it all the time. I didn’t go out with anyone for almost a whole year, I thought about it so much. If you knew I still remembered, I would be too tempted to get distracted. But I’m getting distracted anyway, so I thought you should know. You look really good today.”

A flattered smile pulled at your lips as you reached for Chris’ hand where it rested on the desk. His hand was warm and gentle in yours and he looked up at you, silently gauging your look to see if it was alright to lean up more into your space… when your phone buzzed with a message. It was Johnny. 

>I was trying to get your attention when you came in. Simmons is here TOURING THE MUSIC DEPARTMENT. Get that time bomb out of there NOW.

But it was far too late. Superintendent Simmons could be heard talking to Doyoung in the hallway. Chris watched curiously as you whirled around just in time to catch them appearing in the open doorway.

“Yes, Mr. Kim, I’d love to hear your plans for the year but— ah, hello, dear!”

You winced at the use of the word “dear” but fought it back. “Superintendent,” you nodded cordially, “what’re you doing here?”

“I wanted to take a stroll through the department,” the older man coolly insisted, his hands in the pockets of his suit. “I also thought I could finally meet young Christopher here since I wasn’t sure if he was accompanying you to the meeting tomorrow.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Your question was stated friendly enough, even as you subtly waved a calming hand back to Chris to keep him back. 

The Superintendent shrugged. “You know how it is, dear. My son takes his class but I haven’t even met the man before. We’re certainly not exempt from being aware of current goings-on and I wanted to see who all the fuss was about.”

“Do I live up to your expectation?” Chris suddenly asked, unmistakably indignant as he came forward. 

“Seeing as my expectations were of a naive, insubordinate, carpe-diem-prescribing kid,” Simmons smirked, “then yes.”

“Excuse me, Superintendent,” you huffed sharply, “but I do not appreciate you speaking to Mr. Bang that way, first as one of my staff members and second as my partner.”

“Oh-ho!” Mr. Simmons threw his head back with a laugh. “Your partner? How unbecoming of you, dear. Now, I would normally do the professional courtesy of discussing this in private, but as you always deem it appropriate to throw a fit, I’ll do it here— you know we need to terminate Mr. Bang. Too much liability.”

A wildfire ignited behind your eyes before you quickly jumped into action. If you had a moment to spare, you would’ve considered the possible consequences. “Mr. Simmons,” you spat, “you know for a fact there are liabilities just as big, if not bigger, right under your nose, just like I know for a fact Mr. Bang is in possession of a confiscated note containing quite the insinuation that your son Christian is having a very close and troubling relationship with one of Mr. Kim’s most promising freshmen.”

You hazarded a look behind you and Chris returned it, petrified. It was a low, risky blow, but an apparently fair one as Mr. Simmons’ eyes grew wide. He stubbornly shook his head. “Christian is a smart boy who is studying hard and has no time—“

“—Christian turned 18 over the summer and wants to have as much fun as he can in high school before he goes to college,” Chris finally spoke up. “He’s said as much in class, and if I recall correctly, that girl is 14. I can show you the letter. He met her at a party that she doesn’t remember but all she knows is she is woefully in love with him. As your son’s teacher I’m a mandated reporter if I think this is an unsafe situation for either of them.”

“You want to play executioner with a man you admitted you just met? Fine,” you warned. “But just like your gossip, you’re not exempt from this, either.”

At that moment, Doyoung sheepishly poked his head into the open doorway, politely coughing to get the attention of Mr. Simmons, who was now sputtering until his face had turned red. “Mr. Superintendent,” Doyoung timidly spoke up, “perhaps you would like to come discuss those plans—“

“Fine time for you to decide to act like a teacher,” Simmons growled towards Chris, before he thrust a fat finger into your chest. “This isn’t done, dear. He’s on thin ice, and now you are, too. Let’s see how long it can hold both of you.” Superintendent Simmons turned on his heel, marching out the door past Doyoung and towards his classroom. Doyoung leaned into the room, giving you both a look that remarkably appeared to be sympathetic support. “Are you alright?” He quietly asked. 

You nodded shallowly, still a bit stunned. “Yes, thank you, Mr. Kim.” Chris was seemingly dazed as you turned to face him. “Mr. Bang, can I see you in your office?” 

Chris barely nodded himself, having gone pale during your confrontation, and Doyoung silently wished you well before closing the door behind him and trotting down the hall after the older man. You clutched onto Chris’ sleeve and pulled him into his office, guiding him in before you quietly closed the door. 

You realized you were breathing heavily, chest rising and falling hard with adrenaline as you looked behind you to check on Chris. He was staring back at you, almost shocked, even as you gently took his hand again to make sure he was alright. His fingers had turned clammy where they squeezed yours, and you shared a brief silence, recovering and staring at each other until he finally spoke up. 

“You wanted to see me, ma’am?”

“Yes, Mr. Bang,” you nodded, leaning back against the door and pulling him a little closer. You felt a bit lightheaded. “I wanted you to finish your thought from before we were rudely interrupted.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded dutifully, now cutting right to it as he followed your hand in his to press against you where you leaned against the door. His lips hesitated a mere breath away before he finally kissed you, deep and seemingly driven by every kiss he’d wanted to give you since that night years ago. You could’ve sworn you tasted cotton candy and his lip ring again, maybe even smell evergreen trees if you weren’t mistaken by his cologne. It was electric, re-energizing enough that Chris seemed to finally realize what just happened outside in his classroom. 

“Holy shit,” Chris gasped like he just came up for air. “Did I just threaten the—“

Chris’ frantic recollection persisted even as you continued to kiss him. “Did you just warn the superintendent that he is better off tending to matters closer to home in more need of his attention? Yes.”

“Holy shit, I’m going to be fired,” Chris lamented, but even still he let his lips run over your jaw, falling into you and pressing you into the door. 

“No, you’re not,” you shook your head as you cupped his face in your hands to make him look at you for a moment. “He would’ve said so. He knows this is bad and it’s going to be a pain to deal with.”

“Wait, you don’t want me to—“

“Report? You just said you should. Honestly, Mr. Kim probably would’ve already if he read the letter more closely in the first place.” You held his gaze as you led his hands around your waist and he quickly got the hint, wrapping around you and diving back into you. “Am I still a ballbuster?” You breathlessly chuckled. 

He nodded heartily as he nibbled and kissed your neck. “I love it.” Chris hesitated as he pulled away from your throat, almost asking permission as he kissed you hard against the door, his tongue hot and needy against yours as he almost knocked the breath out of you. 

“Mr. Bang—“ you gasped, and you felt him shiver in the cutest way. He seemed emboldened to let his hands get a little braver, following your hint when you led them to the waistband of your skirt, and he fumbled with your shirt as he untucked it and began unbuttoning it. It was a bizarre sensation, feeling so vulnerable to someone you hadn’t known long but had been thinking of for years, and maybe you weren’t the only one. Chris’ breath seemed to catch in his throat as he leaned back enough to see, his hungry eyes falling on you as he pulled open your shirt and became impatient for more. You gasped again as he pushed you back against the door, his strong hands now tenderly roaming down your chest and groping your breasts as he kissed you before he came back to the waist of your skirt again. His confidence seemed to be returning in full now as his hands firmly ran down your thighs to the hem of your skirt, his lips trailing down your chest and nuzzling your cleavage as he gingerly lifted it. Another gasp caught in your lungs as his fingertips wandered up your legs and paused, his trepidation even spreading to the extent that he seemed hesitant to kiss you again. You reached up to gently cup his face, his cheek warm against your palm as you tried to see what could possibly be wrong in this moment. Out there, sure, that was all understandable, but in this tiny office there was no reason for anything to be wrong. 

“Mr.—“ you began softly, instantly cutting yourself off as you realized. Oh. “Chris,” you began, more confidently now, “are you alright?”

He sighed out a small laugh before he finally kissed you again. “I am. I just missed you, is all. I’ve been thinking about you. It’s still hard to believe any of this is happening, so Mr. Bang is going to be fine for my students but I’d much prefer it if you and I are more personal than that.”

“I can do that,” you grinned, that stunted gasp from earlier finally coming back and completing as Chris finally let himself caress you under your skirt, getting as personal as you both were yearning for. His fingertips were firm but slow, purposeful as they teased the hem of your panties but continued over them to feel you between your legs, making you so aware of your heat against his hand. He smirked as you shivered at his touch, and you felt your face heat up. “Sorry,” you laughed breathlessly, “it’s been a while.”

“I couldn’t tell,” Chris assured you, finally gasping himself as you regained your mental footing and let your hand drop, trailing down his chest to get an exploratory grip on his growing erection in his pants before you brought him back to kiss you again. His muffled sighs and moans grew feverish as you teased him through his clothes, up to the moment he pressed your hips back against the closed door. You watched curiously as Chris’ lips ghosted down your chest and stomach until he was on his knees for you, dangerously close to nuzzling your damp heat until you let yourself subtly roll your hips towards his mouth. He took the cue to instantly pull the thin fabric aside, just enough that he could dip his tongue into your folds. 

Chris couldn’t take his eyes off you as he lapped you up, one hand holding your panties aside and the other clutching onto your bared thigh as you squirmed and mewled for him. Your fingers stroked back through his hair as he held you tight and hungrily licked until he just happened to hit the perfect spot. That, of course, was when he stopped, leaning away and his shiny lips pulled into a mischievous smirk. “I need you so bad,” he drawled, “I’m getting impatient.”

“You?” You giggled sarcastically. “Impatient? Impossible.”

Nevertheless, Chris rocked back onto his feet and pulled you over to his desk before he sat you on top of it, gently pulling your knees apart to step between them. “Are you sure?”

“Definitely,” you nodded. “Do it.” 

Chris grinned shyly as he unbuckled his belt and brought his pants down enough to reveal his hard cock, groaning as you brazenly grabbed his length and pumped it a few times in your hand before guiding him into you. You both gasped in tandem now as you were stretched open, and your legs quickly found purchase around his hips as he kissed you again, the faintest taste and scent of your wetness still on his lips. He filled you out unexpectedly, prodding deep into you in this angle and his girth just wide enough at the base to make you whimper each time he bottomed out. 

“God, this is so good,” Chris groaned against your lips, “you’re so good. I’ve thought of this so many times.” His groans and whispered curses were hot in your ear as he fucked you on the desk, and you were both lost in this endless moment while you both sounded like you were steadily climbing your respective peaks until you noticed his prolonged smirk. 

“What’s so funny?” You jokingly accused. 

“Nothing,” Chris shook his head with a breathless smile, “I’m just surprised. I honestly expected you to be a little more in charge.”

“Oh, am I not as dominant as you thought?” You pouted for effect, seeming to only convince him for a second before you kicked him back into his chair anyhow and willingly taking his bait. He watched, his hands clutching the armrests with intrepid excitement as you dropped onto his lap. “Is this more what you had in mind?”

“Actually, yeah,” Chris nodded hungrily as you raised your hips, just enough to pull your panties to the side and grind your soaked pussy against the head of his cock. You both sighed in pleasure at the sensation as you took your sweet time dipping his length into you just the slightest bit, your lips parted to barely kiss him the whole time you teased yourself against him. He actually waited patiently as you barely rolled your hips lower into him, even as he began to get impatient again. “Heh, hey,” Chris laughed under his breath, “aren’t you gonna—“

“Whatever happened to your lip ring?” You asked him, teasingly oblivious to his question. 

“My wha— oh, that?” Chris was almost delirious trying to rock his hips up into you. “Don’t laugh, but I didn’t think it looked very professional when I first interviewed. I already wasn’t wearing it out to events and meetings, so not wearing it to school made sense.”

“I’m not going to laugh,” you smirked as you playfully pretended you were about to kiss him over and over, your lips ghosting over his own time and time again as his cock surreptitiously tried to work deeper into you, “but that’s ridiculously funny. You’re literally still wearing your earrings, and don’t try telling me that’s different. Weren’t you waiting for something, by the way?”

“Was I waiting—? Come on, aren’t you going to…?”

“Aren’t I going to what?” You asked innocently. Chris’ head lolled back against the head of his chair in exasperation. 

“Aren’t you going to fuck me?” His question was quiet, almost as if he were shy to be saying it out loud, but he asked it nevertheless. 

“Sure,” you shrugged casually, “are you going to wear that lip ring for me sometime? I want to see if it has the same effect.”

“Anything, if you’re that easy,” Chris quipped, even as he was unable to hide the excited tremble in his voice. 

“I’m easy?” You asked, eyebrows raised as you finally sank deep onto Chris’ erection and kissed him again. His muffled groan was thick, laced with satisfaction as you began to ride him in earnest. The hot moans falling from his lips echoed your own impassioned whimpers, only growing more feverish as you angled your hips down, enabling yourself to grind your clit down against his lap. By now you were so lost in it that were thoroughly soaked through your panties you were still wearing.

“Are you sure you’re not easy?” Chris chuckled exhaustedly, even as he nuzzled against your heaving cleavage and gripped tight onto your hips. It was his turn to whimper as you desperately ran your fingers through his hair to clutch onto him as you felt your peak coming fast. Chris must’ve not been far behind, considering the way he sweetly groaned your name against your skin, as if to personally coax out your orgasm. 

The air between you was hot, static, and the way Chris held you was surprisingly affectionate. Despite how much ire and sarcasm had been slung between you previously, now you were both rendered speechless, your staccato breaths falling heavy in the spaces between your sighs and moans. Giving in to Chris didn’t feel like giving up like you had been afraid of for some reason. Reality seemed to be that he may even be quite fond of you, maybe even more than you’d previously imagined, despite how much you did or didn’t change. He obviously wanted to do more than kiss you, and now it seemed he wanted to do more than just fuck you. Chris’ fingertips dug into your hips as he thrust up against you, and you suddenly caught yourself meeting his gaze. The feeling was mutual, apparently, the blown out arousal in his eyes probably echoing your own impending orgasm slowly rising up your spine and making your head spin. He seemed to catch this as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and pressing his lips to your throat as he pistoned his hard length deep inside you, the head dragging along your sensitive walls and daring you to cum.

So you finally did. It hit you hard, giving you barely a moment’s notice for you to grab onto Chris, wrapping your arms around his neck as your core shuddered, radiating out to your quaking thighs and trembling fingers as your heightened moans hit a fever pitch. This, of course, was the final straw for Chris, his orgasm not far behind yours as he tensed up, palms pushing flat against the small of your back as he rutted into you with a broken groan. He uttered a sharp curse under his breath, eyes squeezed shut with the force of his own climax spilling into you as you finished riding out your own on his lap. 

It felt like an eternity, wrapped around each other, faces buried in each other’s shoulders as you both fought for breath and you finally realized how cramped it was straddling Chris in his desk chair, the armrests uncomfortably digging into your legs. As if to mitigate this silent complaint you had, Chris gently began to ease you off of him as he simultaneously pulled you to him for a tiredly satisfied kiss. The bright lights in your eyes finally dulled and the imaginary cotton in your ears finally fell out, letting the sound return to normal. You could hear the low drone of the air conditioner, the muted hum of the hard drive in Chris’ laptop, the clatter of the classroom doorknob outside turning open—

Chris heard it, too, with how he bolted upright with you in his lap. You both stared at the door of his office in terror; this was no way for the assistant superintendent to be found, in post-orgasmic bliss with her legs wrapped around a teacher who was still in a heap of trouble, and you had no chance of escape. Footsteps could be heard approaching before Chris quickly pushed at your retreating knees, apparently on the same page as you when he helped you slide off his lap and under his desk. You scrambled forward to grab at his chair and wheel him close as he desperately stuffed himself back in his pants and tried to make himself presentable. A knock came at the door and Chris quickly wiped the accumulated perspiration off his brow. 

“Come in—!“ he coughed, trying to sound chipper and casual, and as if he didn’t just orgasm with you barely two minutes prior. He gave you one crazed look to make sure you were alright shoved under the desk before the door to his office gingerly opened.

“Hey—“ 

Doyoung?

“Mr. Kim!” Chris sat up a little straighter, inadvertently kicking you in your shin in the process and nearly making you curse out loud. You reflexively punched him in the knee, making him jump as he tried to appear natural. “Is everything alright?”

“What, with me? I’m fine. It’s just...” Doyoung sighed, apparently not moving from where he awkwardly stood in the doorway of the tiny office. “Was it true, what you said about the superintendent’s son?”

“It was,” Chris said solemnly. “Would you like to see the letter again?” His question was genuine, any ill feelings towards the other teacher seeming to have dissipated by now. Your ears perked up as Chris leaned forward. You could hear papers shuffled overhead. He still had it? You could hear a piece of paper being handed to Doyoung, whose sigh only multiplied. 

“I can’t believe it,” he murmured, “that’s so…”

“I know,” Chris commiserated. “Will Samantha—“

“I’ll talk to Sam,” Doyoung resolved, “but first, about the other day, I’m sorry about—“

“Mr. Kim, you don’t have to apologize,” Chris insisted, “tensions were high, you were upset, and you were protecting your student. If you’d like to help me report this I’d appreciate that. You’re a good teacher.”

“So are you, Mr. Bang,” Doyoung conceded sheepishly. “Maybe you can join me in the teacher’s lounge for lunch tomorrow.”

“I’d like that.”

You could hear the smooth heel of Doyoung’s oxford turn to leave and Chris backed up from the desk. The sigh of relief you both let out revealed that you had apparently been holding your breath. He slumped back in the chair before leaning forward to offer you an assisting hand. 

“Oh, one more thing—“

Chris snapped upright in his chair, accidentally kicking you again before his knees knocked into the top of his desk. He grinned through it as he attempted to look nonchalant again. “Yeah?”

“So,” Doyoung began stiffly, “you and her are, like… a thing?”

“Er,” Chris floundered for a second. “Yes. Why?”

“Why? Oh, I mean, it’s nothing,” Doyoung fumbled, “I meant, I guess, is it serious?”

Chris’ Adam’s apple could barely be seen bobbing with his sudden gulp from your vantage point, and you didn’t blame him. Serious? It wasn’t a stretch to imagine his ears turning beet red again. Your thighs were beginning to get sore where you were folded under the desk. “No! I mean, not yet,” Chris said, his stammer matching Doyoung’s now. “I want it to be, though. I really like her. Why?”

Your heart thudded against your ribs. You felt like such a sucker, but why did you also feel so smitten? 

“No reason,” Doyoung laughed politely. “I’m happy for you. For both of you. She looks different with you, you know? You look good together. See you later.”

The door finally clicked closed and you both waited for the classroom door to do the same before it was Chris’ turn to let out the breath he’d been holding. He sighed heavily, melting into his chair before sliding back. His gentle hand reached down to help you out from under the desk. You held his hand, his fingers warm in yours as he met your gaze. “Hello, stranger,” he grinned, “did you have fun under the desk?” Chris fussed with your clothes, helping smooth your skirt back out and buttoning your blouse back up before he realized you were staring at him. He suddenly looked concerned, sitting up as he tried to make sense of your expression.  “What? Is everything alright?”

“You want this to be serious?”

Chris almost flinched as he defensively tried to figure out your tone. He settled for getting back up from his chair and squaring up against you once again, arms folded matter-of-factly like he anticipated a confrontation. “You know what? I do.”

“This isn’t even real, Chris,” you smirked, flattered by his sincerity. “We don’t even like each other, remember?”

He let out an exasperated laugh. “Holy shit, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Go ahead, then, tell me how we aren’t real.”

“Well,” you smiled, “you haven’t asked me out, for one thing.” 

It seemed Chris finally caught up to your game. “Fine,” he sarcastically scoffed. “Would you like to go out with me some time?” 

“Sure,” you playfully shrugged with a smile. “How about now? Are you hungry?”

Chris was amused as he pulled you close into his arms. “You know what? I’m actually not.”

[pbandjesse]

I feel like garbage right now. I just took some allergy meds and I hope it helps by the end of writing this. Because this sucks. I hate that I feel so shitty because today is a good day! It was my parents 35th wedding anniversary! And my dad's birthday!! I am so happy for them and love them so much. So I just gotta focus on those good things.

I think a lot of this is that I did not sleep well last night. I couldn't fall asleep for forever. I am determined to fix this though. So I still woke up at 8 when my alarm went off. I stayed in bed for a long while. But I would get up eventually.

I tried to be in a good mood. At least my hair looked nice. I tried to pull myself together and for the most part the first half of the day I did that.

I cleaned. I dusted. I vacuumed. I changed the kitty litter. I tried my best to be productive. I styled people for an hour. And I did some art.

I am very pleased with the art. After the failure of my bat print I was a little discouraged but I did one of sweetP sleeping at the window and I am just so pleased with it. I still had some issue with getting even pressure, but I know its because Im using a tiny little rolling pin. But I will get something better and Ill get more consisant results. But regardless I am really happy.

I had a good time carving. And stamping. It started getting to hot in here but I was in a good place emotionally.

But then I sort of lost steam and started getting really dizzy when I tried to do anything. I had eaten but it didn't make me feel much better. I was just not having fun.

But I would pull myself together and pull the camping stuff down. I said I was going to wait until Wednesday but I was so lost and without direction I needed to do something. So I pulled that down and sorted through everything. Its interesting because we are both camping and going to the beach. So that's a whole new animal and requires different things. But I think we have a good handle on it and I am pretty pleased with what we have. We only need a few more things. Mostly food and maybe actually figuring out a bike rack.

I would lay down for a bit. Got up to get the mail and was excited to have packages. Mom sent us things for the party. I put those away and would lay back down.

I would lay on the couch and then to the bed and then back. I didn't feel good and I cried a little. But I tried my best to just be okay. I do think the medication is finally helping. I took another bath and that made me feel a little bit better. But still. I wish I could just feel better.

Now though I am on the couch drinking some ice tea. And thinking about building my printing portfolio more. Maybe my new long term project is a book. Someone suggested that since Im illustrating poems already. And now I like the idea.

I hope tomorrow is better and productive. I have a few things I want to get at the art store. And hopefully I just feel more settled. I hope you all have a great night tonight. Take care of each other. Goodnight!

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[taexual]

HOLIC - 30 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: angsty fluff (my new favorite kind, apparently)

words: 3.6k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

Each day after you’ve listened to Jaebum’s countless reminders and finally managed to compose the e-mails with your portfolios to send them to a few galleries around the country was more stressful than the previous one. You tried not to check your e-mail too obsessively but it was proving to be difficult and Jaebum, who was to blame for your newfound anxiety because he’d made you press the final button and send those e-mails, was now your only distraction.

He noticed your nervous expression each time the e-mail app wasn’t loading fast enough – because, of course, he’d notice these things about you – and he promptly suggested taking you out someplace that wasn’t home to get your mind – and his, too, though he tried to keep himself in check for your sake; he’s made you anxious about his music plenty of times already – off of this.

Now because both of you were mature adults who didn’t want to get drunk and then wake up early the next morning for work – obviously, what you didn’t want to deal with here wasn’t a hangover but rather the consequences of drinking alcohol with each other – Jaebum ended up taking you to the potentially least harmful place on the whole planet.

His favorite ice cream shop in his old neighborhood.

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning when the two of you stopped outside of the old building and he introduced the store downstairs as a place where he’d come whenever he had stayed up drinking last night and needed something sweet, or when Mark was no longer willing to give him drinks on the house at his bar.

It felt special to be in a place that used to be a prominent part of his life and you were glad he took you here, but the butterflies nearly imploded inside of your stomach after he opened the door for you, allowing you to enter first, and one simple thought popped into your mind: this felt an awful lot like a date.

You tried to resist the impulses to smile and instead focused on Jaebum’s voice as he talked about the last time he’d been here with a group of friends after a night-out, and all of them have collectively agreed that ice cream was simply the best drunk food.

“Why didn’t you come here after that?” you asked him after the two of you sat down by the table next to the big, floor-to-ceiling window at the back of the store. It was sunny outside so you both found yourselves squinting at each other as you ate your ice cream.

“I moved,” Jaebum explained simply. “There was no need to go back here and, besides, it felt weird to return to a place that held so many memories after I’d set my mind on moving on. I thought it’d be a step back to come here again.”

The waffle cone you’ve brought to your mouth seemingly froze for just a second. You debated asking him if Suji lived nearby, too, but, eventually, decided against it. There was no point – you wouldn’t have learned anything new, just satisfied your curiosity which could honestly do with a little starving after you’ve gotten the answers to so many questions already.

“How does it feel to be back now?” you asked instead, focusing on the cold, sugary sensations in your mouth. The ice cream here really was good.

“Normal,” Jaebum replied, “which is surprising. I wondered what it’d be like to come back here and I feared it wouldn’t be the same and I’d be disappointed, or worse, I’d get overwhelmed with the memories and leave immediately, but, hey, the ice cream here is still good, the company is still good, so it’s… all good.”

You smiled at this. “Have you considered finding a new ice cream spot to eat in after getting drunk?”

“Mark won’t let me,” he said, making you snicker. “He used to come here with me and the rest of the guys but then he got that job at the bar – he’s, basically, a manager there by now – and now he insists we eat there. And, you know, when you’re eating in a bar—”

“—you end up drinking even more,” you finished knowingly. “Yes and that’s how alcoholism develops.”

“I’m sure that’s Mark’s end-game for us all,” Jaebum sighed. “Be careful. You’re one of us now.”

You tried to hide your smile behind your ice cream cone but it was probably still obvious in the way your entire face lit up when he said this. One of us meant he didn’t have – or tried not to have – any problems with you being friends with his friends anymore. It meant you’ve truly reached a new period in your relationship with each other, hopefully having buried all of the insecurities-turned-obstacles on your way here.

“I think I’m good,” you said, hoping that Jaebum will consider your wide grin as a manifestation of simple happiness instead of figuring out just how much hearing this meant to you. “I don’t drink that often anyway.”

“What constitutes as ‘often’ for you?” he asked, curious. “Sure, I’ve only seen you drunk a handful of times since we started to live together so you may not have a problem right now, but wait a couple of months. Mark and I are a horrible influence.”

You were laughing as he said this. “Mark? No way, he’s such a sweet guy! You, on the other hand…”

“Me?” Jaebum raised his eyebrows, mock-offense decorating his features. “I am the absolute epitome of the perfect child! My mom always said that any mother would be lucky to have a son like me.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” you replied, actually pausing for a second because that was nice, but then continuing anyway because teasing him has become your favorite hobby, “except, see, all mothers say that to their children.”

“I hope you’re not calling my mother a liar.”

“I’d never! I’m sure she’s a wonderful lady,” you replied, “so, I really don’t know where you get your attitude from.”

“Hey, watch it,” Jaebum warned you, the playful glint in his eyes mirroring the one in yours. “I’m paying for your ice cream but I might change my mind if you keep at it.”

Taking a bite of the waffle cone, you gave him a mischievous smile. “Why? Can’t handle a little roast?”

“That’s not a roast,” he said. “That’s slander.”

You laughed. “Slander means it’s not true and we both know that everything I’ve said is—”

“Here’s your check,” a female voice cut you off and you both raised your heads to look at the waitress that had stopped by your table, a metal tray with a check on it in her hands.

The waitress gave Jaebum a smile – and, to make her intentions even more obvious, she didn’t even bother to look at you – and then turned around to walk away. She was very pretty so you couldn’t help but follow her with your eyes as she returned to the register, but, when you turned back to Jaebum, you’d found out that he hadn’t done the same. He was watching you.

“I—” he started to say but then he picked up the check instead. “In all the times that I’ve been here, they’ve never brought the check over. I always had to pay at the register.”

“Hmm,” that didn’t surprise you. The sudden rapid beating of your heart, however, did. “Maybe she liked you.”

Jaebum almost scoffed. “No, I don’t think so.”

You couldn’t see why not – especially not after you glanced over at the cash register and caught the waitress still watching Jaebum – but you tried to continue to eat your ice cream as nonchalantly as it was possible while your chest proceeded to fill with surprising amounts of bitterness and—yeah, let’s be honest—jealousy.

“When I was a waitress, I also used to bring the check over to the table myself,” you admitted, “if I found the guys there attractive.”

Jaebum seemed surprised to hear this.

“Wow,” he said, his eyebrows raised. “I never pegged you for someone who’d do that.”

“I was lonely,” you shrugged, not proud of your choices from back in the day but not exactly ashamed of them, either, knowing that nothing you’ve done had any long-lasting consequences. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“It’s not desperate,” he disagreed, not trying to put you down for anything. Honesty was a virtue for him, though, so he found himself adding, “it’s just… kind of unfair for the other people that you didn’t find attractive.”

“It is, yeah,” you agreed and then sighed somewhat wistfully. It was so easy to romanticize memories, making it seem as though certain periods of your life were far more glorious than they actually were and you were guilty of doing that. Whenever you looked back at your days it college, it just seemed like a simpler time even though you knew that wasn’t true. “Oh, but, to make it fair, that method never worked out. I never got asked out by any of those guys.”

Jaebum leaned back in his chair, even more surprised by this confession. Clearing his throat, he finished his own waffle cone and then grabbed a napkin from the table between you.

“Okay,” he said once he’d finished wiping the corners of his mouth. “I might believe that you were eager enough to hit on guys by bringing their checks to them but I will never believe that not a single one of them asked you out.”

His words were like a sudden match, lighting you on fire and dragging you out of the fountain of nostalgia that you’ve caught yourself bathing in.

“I’m serious,” you said, your face very warm all of a sudden. “Must have been the planets aligning themselves to restore the balance of fairness because I gave certain people the special treatment.”

“Were there a lot of certain people?” Jaebum wondered, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You were unsure why he’d ask you this. “No, I wouldn’t say so. Why? Is there a limit as to how many people a waitress can hit on? Because they didn’t fire me so I must have not reached it—”

“No, no, I was just curious how many guys there were who had no taste at all.”

Frowning lightly, you asked, “what do you mean?”

Jaebum shrugged his shoulders, toying with the check. He didn’t particularly like it when you didn’t understand his subtle flirting and he had to explain himself in more obvious terms but he’d have hated it more if he didn’t get his point across.

“Well, they haven’t taken the chance of asking you out, so, you know,” he said, “they have no standards. Or a horrible, horrible taste.”

You were going to die right then and there, you were sure of it. He was going to kill you.

“Well, are you going to ask her out?” you tried asking to redirect the attention from your flustered state to the waitress who’d approached you before. “She’s beautiful.”

“No, I’m, uh…” Jaebum was the one who looked down this time. “I’m actually not interested in that.”

“In that?”

Although your mind may not have quite understood his words, your soul seemed to know exactly what he was talking about as your heart – that was in the process of melting – suddenly focused on anxious beating instead. Even the butterflies inside of you settled down to listen, weighing heavily on your stomach.

“Well, you know,” he waved his hands around as if that explained it, “in dating her. In dating any other girl. I don’t want that.”

He looked at you when he said the last few words – somehow, hopeful that you’ll catch what he was really trying to convey without having to explain himself yet again – but you remained frozen in your seat, the ice cream now starting to melt inside of the cone.

“Oh,” you uttered and then, to hide the obvious disappointment in your tone, tried to cough. “Okay. Well, anyway—”

“Jaebum?”

The two of you were interrupted once again only, this time, right before you turned your head in the direction of the voice – it was coming from behind you – you caught sight of Jaebum’s eyes widening in surprise. He didn’t look quite as alarmed as he had when he’d thought Suji had rung his doorbell that one time – his skin had passed pale, and gone straight to translucent back then – but he didn’t look very pleased, either.

There was a—very pretty—girl, smiling at him from across the room. When his eyes landed on hers, she started to approach your table. He hadn’t indicated for her to come over but she was doing it anyway because, apparently, your table had suddenly turned into a hotspot for beautiful women.

Not that Jaebum wanted to date any of them because, as it turned out, he wasn’t interested in dating anyone. Funny.

“Wow,” the girl spoke after having stopped next to you. Her eyes were on Jaebum. “I never thought I’d see you here again.”

“I didn’t think I’d come back,” Jaebum replied, his eyes nervously drifting to you as you tried to let go of his previous confession and make sense of what was happening right now. The girl must have been one of his old friends but he looked awfully uncomfortable in her presence.

You busied yourself with finishing your ice cream and then reached for a napkin, successfully hiding yourself from the almost penetrating gaze of the girl next to you as her eyes landed on you.

“Who’s your friend?” she asked Jaebum. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

He didn’t like the question – frankly, you didn’t either; she could have asked you directly instead of treating you like you weren’t there – and you felt him reach over the table and place one of his hands on yours in a completely uncharacteristic manner. You nearly flinched and pulled away but, after noticing the determination in his eyes, you remained frozen instead, his hand resting on yours.

“This is my roommate,” Jaebum told the girl, giving her a meaningful look.

Her eyes were on your hands as a knowing smile spread across her face. “Oh, so this is her!”

She said it as if she’d heard about you before and you dared to raise your head to give her a good look. You were certain you’ve never seen the girl before – let alone heard anyone even describe her – and yet you saw recognition in her eyes. She did know you. Or, at least, she knew of you.

You weren’t sure if you should have said anything – she didn’t ask for your name or even bothered to introduce herself, after all – so you decided to just let their conversation play out and stayed quiet instead, allowing Jaebum to keep in control of the situation.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, his hand still on yours. “It is… her.”

“Well, it was very nice to see you again,” the girl said, more awkward now. She must have started to notice the unwelcome tone in Jaebum’s voice. “You should stop by here more often. We’ve missed you. And… we would all love to get to know your, uh, roommate.”

Jaebum wasn’t even trying to be pleasant as he dropped a very unenthusiastic, “I’m busy.”

“Of course,” she was clearly expecting to hear that. “Well, if you change your mind, give me – or any one of us – a call. I’m sure Suji would be ecstatic to see you again, too.”

You didn’t think it was possible for two people to flinch at the exact same time but it almost seemed as though an electric current had suddenly run through your body and straight into Jaebum’s – or, maybe, it was the other way around – as both of your gazes widened. Yours because you weren’t expecting Jaebum’s old friend group to include his old girlfriend – although, that made sense, knowing how in control of his life she was – and his because he wasn’t expecting this girl to be so obvious about her intentions, even though he should have probably expected her to bring Suji into this after she saw him take your hand.

“It’s good to see you, Jaebum,” the girl said after Jaebum didn’t respond to her previous statement.

Not removing his eyes from yours, he merely nodded in acknowledgment. “Cassie.”

The girl left you alone without another word – although she did hesitate which could have meant that she’d have loved to stick around for longer – and you let another moment pass before you dared to turn around. She was standing by the cash register, paying for three cones of ice cream. You turned back around as soon as you saw her glance back at you.

Both you and Jaebum waited until she left the store before finally speaking again.

“So…” you started, unsure where to begin.

Jaebum removed his hand from yours and used it to pinch the bridge of his nose instead. “Yeah. I didn’t think—I thought coming here during the day would save me from running into anyone I knew.”

“Was she one of your friends?” you decided to inquire first and foremost.

Jaebum nodded and then added, “well, more Suji’s than mine, I guess. I knew Cassie from university – she was a year above me. She was my coordinator—well, not just mine, but—anyway. Mark had a crush on her at one point so we hung out a lot in less official settings and became friends, I guess. Cassie is, uh—s-she’s the one that introduced Suji to me.”

As you looked down at your hand, still palm down on the table between you, you realized that this explained the unexpected hand-holding. He was looking for a way to prove that he’d moved on.

“I see,” you said awkwardly. “She seemed awfully eager to reunite with you.”

“Right,” he scoffed, “that’s not happening. That whole thing is over. When I tried to escape Suji,” he continued and you’d have judged his choice of wording if you hadn’t known what Suji was like, “I also ended up escaping half of my friends.”

“Well, if they didn’t stick with you, are they really your friends?”

Jaebum removed his hand from his face, giving you a nod. “I know. That’s why I never even considered reuniting with them. Although, it did seem childish at first. It felt like I was holding a grudge against them because they took Suji’s side after our initial break-up but… they were never really on my side per se, to begin with.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” you disagreed, angry about this on his behalf. “This is the place where you’d created so many memories. It’s not fine that Suji took them away from you. It’s not fine that you can’t come back here without running into any of the people that had pretended to be your friends for all of these years. It’s—it’s not fine, Jaebum. And I’m sorry.”

His heart – that had been hammering in his chest ever since Cassie came over to your table – finally seemed to calm down.

“It’s fine,” he said again, “because I'm not here alone.”

You swallowed, blinking slowly. “I would love to meet the other half of your friends. The real ones. The ones who stayed with you.”

This touched him even more as he nodded with no hesitation whatsoever. “You will. They will love you.”

He didn’t add anything else but this already meant so much. After having been left alone by nearly all of his friends, he was showing more and more willingness to finally trust someone new. He was finally ready to return to the places that had meant so much to him and create new memories – memories that he trusted not to become false in the long run.

And you were beyond confused.

He’d held your hand – which was a way to show Cassie that he couldn’t have cared less about Suji, no doubt – even though he was the kind of person who didn’t really care about what the others were saying – unless it was about his music, of course. But, you could find explanations to that. Cassie was Suji’s friend, it was likely that she was going to report all that she’d seen today back to her and Jaebum took precautions to make sure Suji didn’t try to come back into his life again. These precautions weren’t particularly unpleasant – you certainly didn’t mind Jaebum holding your hand or people assuming that you were together – but the confusion caused by his earlier confession was. It made your stomach churn all the way back to your apartment.

You just didn’t get it. He said he wasn’t interested in dating and yet you and him were doing almost everything a couple who was dating would do, except without the label. You knew he’d dated Suji and it didn’t end well – and you weren’t trying to be dismissive of all the emotional trauma caused by that relationship and all that had come after – but you had genuinely thought that he had moved on. He’d finally cut his ties with her, once and for all. He’d showcased signs of actually having feelings for you and even admitted that he’d actually thought you and him could have dated when you first met at the bar. Hell, he’d even kissed you on several occasions.

But he wasn’t interested in dating and, even though you knew that the current state of your friendship with Jaebum had its lines blurred by how far the two of you had gone with each other, you were suddenly even more confused about what you were doing. Was he just taking the chance – since you lived with each other – and doing whatever he wanted without worrying about any official statuses because he didn’t think this was a permanent thing? But then, if that’s the case, why did he say all of those things – why admit he’d thought of starting a relationship with you when you met? Why admit he’d been afraid you’d rip his heart out if he put it on the line?

Perhaps you were stupid for believing everything he’d told you – he was basically writing songs for a living, after all – but some of his statements didn’t coincide with the other ones, and you were simply—and yet, unexplainably—confused.

Meanwhile, Jaebum, as he walked next to you back to your apartment, noticed the clouded expression on your face and was able to realize that he was to blame for it. It was very obviously something that he’d said but he wasn’t sure what. He debated if holding your hand in front of Cassie was the right thing to do because that could have lead you to believe that he was hoping to make Suji jealous to get a reaction out of her when that couldn’t have been further from the truth. He just didn’t want to see her again and, alright, a small, very bitter part of him wanted to spite her -- he wanted her to know that he was happy without her.

But Jaebum wanted to believe that you understood that. That you believed he didn’t care about Suji anymore. So, it must have been something else that had brought upon your change in demeanor.

You didn’t understand what had happened there at the store and he didn’t, either because, after having learned how similar you were to each other, you could have never imagined you’d be able to misinterpret each other’s words in a way that put a pause on your developing—or… regressing—relationship.

    chapter directory

[love-max1982-us]

However with an increasingly diversified global Rogue portfolio

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[bleachanimefan1]

Turtles Forever Part 67

Darkness Within

The kitten, Klunk, was watching the turtles as they were fixing up the Battle Shell.

"Donnie, these techno brainstorms of yours have gotta stop!" Raph said as Donnie walked up with a blowtorch in his hand.

"Are you kidding me?" Donnie questioned, putting his goggles on. "When we're done, the Battle Shell will be sheered and-" But, a knock on the garage door interrupts them.

"Guys! Guys, are you in there?!" Angel called out from the outside, still banging loudly. They ran to the garage door and open it to see the teenage girl standing in front of them.

"Angel?" Donnie asked.

"Something terrible has happened!" Angel exclaimed. She lunges forward into Mikey, hugging him. He hugs her back, trying to calm her down.

The four brothers, along with Mona, Venus and Alopex were in the the Battle Shell, driving on the road. Splinter volunteered to look after the new born baby, spending time with his new granddaughter.

"Where are we going?" Donnie questioned.

"Wall street and Hanover." Angel explained, pointing him in the direction to drive.

"Take the West side highway." Leo said. Mikey smiles teasingly.

"Wall street? Is this about your portfolio? Too many tech stocks, huh?" He joked, looking at the map. Angel held out a gold coin to him. Mikey's eyes widen in surprise. "Whoa..." He takes it, inspecting the coin.

"Gold? No way!" He commented.

"Angel, where'd you get a gold coin?" Raph questioned.

"My brother gave it to me. He found it at the construction job he was working at, the Volpeharp building." Angel explained.

"It's dated 1611." Mikey murmured, looking at her. "Oh, your brother found buried treasure?"

"I told him not to go back. I told him I had a bad feeling about it. That was three days ago. Since then, nothing" Angel covered her eyes.

"What did the police say?" Leo asked.

"They said they were too busy with the fallout from the invasion to go look for some punk on a treasure hunt." Angel sniffed. Raph hugged her.

"It's okay," He said. "We're going to get 'im back."

The van turned around the corner and saw a very large old building.

"That's it. That's the Volpehart building." Angel said. Donnie stopped the van. The group walked out and heading towards the very ominous building. There were gargoyles at the top of the door, staring down at them.

"Man, talk about creepy central!" Mikey exclaimed.

"I don't get it." Donnie spoke. "What kind of a building on Wall street doesn't have any security?"

"Guys..." Mikey called out. "Look. C. F. Volpehart. 1616. Whoa, could this place be any more like Castle Dracula?"

"Come to me." A dark voice called out. Angel and Alopex gasped.

"Who said that?" Angel and Alopex asked at the same time, looking around.

"Said what? Are you okay?" Leo questioned.

"It's -It's probably my imagination." Angel explained. "I'm a little freaked out, that's all."

"Come to me." The two girls both heard the voice spoke again. "Find the way." Quietly, Alopex walked over to a tapestry and lifted it up. Underneath it was a button, that had an eye on fire above a pyramid. She pressed it and it began glowing. She gasp as the place started to rumble until a hidden floor open up, making an underground passageway. Everyone looked down at it, curiously.

"Alopex, how did you?" Donnie questioned.

"I-I don't know. I sort of knew that it was there..." She stammered.

They walk down the stairs into an underground hallway, with torches lit up along the walls. The feet splashed in the water as the group walked up to a large door. It had the same symbol with an eye and pyramid.

"Whoa, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Creepsville!" Mikey commented. They look up to see writing above the door.

"What's it say, Don?" Leo murmured.

"It's Italian. It says 'abandon all hope, he who enters here'." Donnie explained.

"See, what did I tell you? Creepy!" Mikey called out.

"Yeah?" Raph spoke. "Well, check this out." He gestures towards the skeletons and piles of bones. Mikey made a girlish scream.

"Can we get a move on!?" He pressed.

"We've gotta find my brother! He's gotta be in there!" Angel insisted. She ran over to the door, banging on it.

"Angel, no!" Leo warned. They pushed the door, trying to get it to open, but it didn't budge. Suddenly, the eye began to glow bright red as do the skeletons. Everyone heard whispering as the skeletons began to come to life. They turned around to see the horde of undead advancing towards them.

"Ah, is it just me or is this way off the creepy meter?" Mikey asked, nervously, gripping his nunchucks.

Raph jumps up and smacks slices the head off a skeleton, but it smacks Raph away. Donnie fought with a skeleton, jumping and ducking, as it swing its sword. Leo jumps at a skeleton and kicks it down. He turns around and blocks with his katanas against an skeleton as it struck.

"There's something seriously wrong here." Donnie said to Leo. " You can hit them, but they just keep coming! "

"And," Mikey shouted as he punched a skeleton. "There's more of them! Look!"

More skeletons stood before the group as the others started to reassemble themselves.

"You fools!" A voice shouted. Everyone looked and saw an old man holding a lit lantern. "You can not kill the dead!"

"Run, you must follow me!" He called out. The turtles and girls ran over to him as the skeletons followed behind them, chasing them. They ran up the stairs and the old man quickly pressed the button, closing the passage. A skeleton's head gets chopped off, as the stairs closed itself, landing in front of the group.

"What the shell is going on around here?" Raph demanded

"Silence!" the old man shouted. "You should have not come here, but it is too late now. You have gone too far. There is no going back, if you truly wish answers to your questions, you'll follow me."

The old man lead the group into his study. There was a painting of a young man with blond hair. The old man stared into the fireplace.

"Uh, sir?" Donnie called out. "Aren't you the least freaked out? I mean, seeing us?"

"I have seen many strange things in my life." The man turned off the lantern and turned to face them. "Very little surprises me, but know this: the money that you seek will never be yours. It is bait for a trap, only a gruesome rate await those who go after it.

"We're not here for the money. We're looking for my brother! Tall, brown hair-" Angel started.

"He found this coin here and came back looking for more." Leo explained, holding the gold coin. "That would have been about three days ago

"Yes, he was here." The man took the coin from Leo. "I gave him the same warning as I gave them all, but they ignored me. They went through the golden door and never returned.

"Then we'll just have to go in after him." Raph replied, holding his sais.

"Ignoramus! Perhaps, you will change your mind when you know something of what you will find there." The man took a book from the bookshelf, dusting of off, revealing the same eye and pyramid.

"A thousand years ago, there fell to Earth a meteorite. It brought with a creature of terrible evil and un-sensual hunger, whispering promises of great wealth and power. The creature lured the gluttonous and greedy to it's side. Fortunately, the native people proved too strong of character. In fact, they created a weapon to protect themselves from the creature, a weapon created from the growing red stone from the meteor itself. But before the natives could slay the atrocity with the meteor spear, the call of the creature's life had reached across the sea to a race of men filled with greed for the good of the new world. One such man was C. F. Volpehart. Volpehart took the land by force. And so, Volpehart's fortune grew. His dark legacy endured and the ancient evil creature from the stars thrived. It is no accident that that the financial capital for the entire nation surrounds this very edifice. The Volpehart building."

"But, what about you?" Leo questioned the man, wondering. "How do you fit into this?"

"I...I am Volpehart's heir," The old man explained. "I have vowed to destroy the creature, to the curse from my family. But I was too weak. Too long under it's influence. No matter how much I desired to end it's accursed life, I could not. Do you still wish to face this beast?" He asked, turning to them.

"We don't have a choice." Leo answered.

"We have to." Raph replied.

"You have courage," The man praised them, taking out a spear from hidden drawer. "Here, the meteor spear," He handed it to Leo.

"May it serve you in your time of need."

The passage opens again as the group stood in front of it.

"Hey, guys!" Angel called out, running over to them. "Wait up!"

"Sorry, Angel, you gotta stay here where it's safe." Leo said.

"Please find my brother." Angel pleaded.

"We will." Leo answered. "I promise."

They walked down the stairs and were now in the same hallway again. The spear illuminated a red glow as they walked towards the door. As soon as they entered, the door began to glow red making the skeleton come back to life again. They began to advance towards the group.

"Great, here comes the bone brothers again!" Raph grumbled, irritated.

"Back off!" Leo ordered, brandishing the spear at the skeletons. They screeched in fear seeing the spear, backing off. The group headed towards the door and it opens for them. They walked inside and the door closed shut behind them.

The group walked deeper as they found themselves in a cave with Leo walking in front of them, holding the spear.

"You guy's buy that old man's story?" Raph asked.

"After those skeletons, I'm about ready to believe anything." Leo replied. They walked deeper into the room to see a huge fire engulfing a rock in the center of it. There were strange pods, as well, all around the room.

"Well, I guess that's the meteor the old man told us about." Donnie replied.

"Guys, over here," Leo called out, walking over to one of the pods. "What are these?" He cuts it open and inside was a skeleton along with money. Donnie picked it up

"This is a civil war bond," he explained. "This guy just be a hundred and fifty years old."

"There are thousands of these cells." Leo pointed out. "If Angel's brother ended up in here, it could take us weeks to find him."

Suddenly, tentacles began to come out from every crevice, heading towards them. "Come to me." Mikey noticed one of them.

"Uh, guys? Don't look now, but the creepy meter just went def-con one!"

Everyone looked around to see that they were surrounded by the tentacles.

"Is it more than one creature?" Leo asked.

"I don't know." Donnie answered.

"I don't want to know!" Mikey replied, spinning his nunchucks.

Raph growled and jumped up trying to fight the creature. Mikey gets caught by one of the tentacles. Apple's tried to run over to help him, but caught as well.

"Hold on!" Raph called out, rushing over to the two. A tentacle catches him from behind, followed by Mona. Donnie, Leo and Venus tried to fight off the tentacles as it came at them. Two tentacle grabbed Donnie and Venus, capturing them. Leo tried to reach out to them, but eventually gets caught as well, making Leo drop the spear.

They struggled against the tentacles hold on them then one appears in front of Leo.

"No!"

Darkness filled Leo's vision as went unconscious. He gasped as he opened his eyes to find himself covered in goo. He looked around to see that he was in a pod. How long had he been out? What about the others? Were they alright? Suddenly, Leo heard thumping to his right and he turned to see two figures outside. It whacked against the pod, opening it, revealing to be Splinter and Yuuki.

"Master Splinter?" Leo exclaimed. "Yuuki? What are you doing here?"

"We sensed that you were in trouble." Yuuki explained, helping Leo out of the pod.

"We came to rescue you." Splinter said.

"Where are the others?" Leo asked, kneeling down.

"We must find them." Splinter ordered. He looks up and the ceiling to crumble down on top them. Tentacles from the creature began to slowly head towards them. "We must hurry!"

Leo stood in front of Yuuki as it came closer. He pulled out his swords while Yuuki pulled out her tessen heading themselves.

Suddenly, a familiar evil laugh made the Leo, Yuuki and Splinter freeze. They turned their heads to see Shredder emerge from the shadows standing in front of them. Leo cringed.

Great, what more can go wrong?

Donnie found himself walking down a yellow hallway. He stops when he sees two people in front of him, Angel and Venus. "Angel?" She and Venus walk up to him. "What are you doing here? We told you stay outside."

Angel laughs as she and Venus ran off. Donnie chased after them, calling out to them. There were two tunnels. Venus ran to the one on the left while Angel ran to right. Donnie stopped at the tunnels deciding who he should go after. Venus was strong she could look after herself. However, Angel wasn't. Donnie ran to the tunnel on the right chasing after the teenage girl.

"This is no time for games! Wait up!" He chased after Angel, trying to stop her.

"Where are you going?"

They appear in the same room with the fire and meteorite and where his brothers and the other girls were captured. Donnie was that Angel was walking dangerously along the edge of the fire with the meteorite.

"Angel, I don't know what's going on, but, get away from the edge!" He warned. Angel laughed as she turned her head looking at him. She slips falling off the edge, screaming.

Donnie gasped and he quickly ran over looking over the edge in horror.

"No!"

"Donnie," Donnie heard Venus call out to him from behind. He turned to her.

"Venus! It's Angel, she fell-!" Donnie's eyes widen. Venus was standing in front of him, but her eyes were gone. They have been plucked out. Donnie felt like he was going to be sick as he stared in horror at his girlfriend.

"Venus,..y-your eyes! What happened to your eyes?!"

"Where were you? Why did you leave me?" Venus said.

"I-I thought you were safe-"

"Well, I wasn't!" Venus snapped. "The Prime Leader found me and stole my eyes and it's all your fault! The only thing that I have left of my people is gone!"

Donnie stared silently at her in shock.. The Prime Leader?! Wasn't he in prison? How did he escape?

"Venus, I'm sorry."

"No you're not!" Venus shouted. Donnie flinched.

"I wish that I never met you!"

Venus opened her eyes, only to see that her hands were bound. She stood up and looked around the room to see that she was on a Triceraton ship. She froze when she saw Zanramon staring directly at her as he sit on the throne. He stood up and started to advance towards her.

"Venus, how lovely of you to return," He smiles evilly.

Venus eyes widen as she tried to back away from him. But, as she did, she trips over something and falls down on the floor. Her eyes widen in horror to see Donnie, completely beaten up. He could barely move as he tried to reach out to her.

"Venus, run..." He said, hoarsely. Venus stood frozen where she stood completely paralyzed in fear. Zanramon now stood in front of her, towering down on her. He looked down at Donnie and kicked him on his side.

"Don't!" Venus cried out. Zanramon turned his eyes to her and laughed evilly.

"How pathetic that you would chose such a miserable creature over me." He started to walk over to her and bend down on his knee, grabbing Venus by her cheeks. Venus teared up.

"I would chose him a thousand times over you, you murder!" She shouted. "My entire race, my father, Chung I, is dead because of you!"

Zanramon stared at her silently then growls. Venus eyes widen and Zanramon grabbed her by the throat, choking her. Venus struggled to break out of his hold, but he was stronger. Venus shut her eyes as she struggled to breathe. Then she found herself pinned to the floor as Zanramon leaned over her.

"I will make you mine!" He smiled, evilly.

"No!" Venus screamed.

Water from the ceiling dripped down on Mikey, waking him up. He groans as he sits up. "Leo? Raph? Donnie? Allie?" Mikey called out, looking around. "Are you guys here?"

"I'm here, Mikey." Mikey heard Leo's voice behind him. He sees Leo hiding in the shadows.

"What happened?" Mikey questioned.

"The creature got us, but it was merciful." Leo replied. But, something in his voice sounded off. "It offered a chance to join it, to serve it, to become like it. I took it's offer." He steps out revealing tentacles on his left arm. Leo ran towards Mikey, attacking. Mikey backs away, gripping his nunchucks.

"Ew!" He commented on disgust. He pulls out his nunchucks and tried to hit Leo. But, the tentacles grab Mikey by his wrist and Leo kicks him down. Mikey lands roughly on the ground and looks up at his brother. "Leo?"

Leo laughed silly at him and the tentacles wrapped around Mikey.

"Noo!"

Alopex woke up to find herself in a dark room. She stood up and walked towards the door, only to find that it was locked. She tried to bang on it.

"Hey, guys! Mikey?!" She shouted. "If this is a joke it isn't funny! Let me out!"

The door opened and Alopex eyes widen to see an old fox woman standing in front of her, her grandmother, along with two younger fox females, her half sisters. Alopex eyes widen as she backed away from them.

"Look, who came crawling back to us," the old women, smiled evilly. The other two foxes laughed.

"No..." She murmured. "Not here. I can't be back here."

The two fox women grabbed her and dragged Alopex out by her hair. She screamed in pain as they took her into a courtyard. Alopex was tossed hard to the ground. She looked up and saw that she was surrounded by multiple foxes old and young as they all stared at her with a dark look and disgust.

She was back in her old village. Same eyes staring at her with hatred. Everyone began chanting around her and in a sing song tone "murder." Alopex eyes widen in horror as she tried to cover her ears.

"I'm not a murder!" She cried out loud. Then her grandmother walked over to her and slapped her across the face.

"My daughter, your mother is dead because of you!"

"No...I-I didn't...It wasn't my fault!" Alopex argued. Her grandmother scoffed.

"Not your fault?" she said. "My dear, if it wasn't for you, she would be alive right now, with her people." She bared her fangs at Alopex angrily. "But, because she choose to run off with a man that wasn't a fox. She had you, and now she's dead. You killed her because you were born."

"Stop..." Alopex pleaded. Her two older half sisters picked up rocks and started to throw them, hitting her.

"Half breed!" The two of them taunted.

"Stop, please!"

Mona woke up and found herself unable to move as she was contained in a glass cell. She pounded on it trying to find a way out, but to no avail. Then a bright light blinded her as it came on. Her eyes widen in horror to see Bishop, smiling evilly on the other end of the glass prison.

"Y-You!" she stammered. Her eyes wondered around the room. "Where's Raphie?" Bishop laughed darkly and stepped to the side, revealing Raph strapped on a table.

"He's right here." Bishop said. "Along with your little daughter as well."

Mona's eyes widen in horror to see Elizabeth as an agent brought her in, placing her in Bishop's hands.

"Please, don't hurt them!" Mona pleaded, frantically. "Don't hurt her! Do whatever you want to me but leave her out of this!"

"Let's start with the experiment's, shall we?"

"Stop!"

Raph hears water dripping near him and he wakes up. Then he hears evil laughter that sounded so familiar.

"Huh, what's that? Who's there?" Raph demanded. Shredder stepped in front of him.

"Shredder," Raph growled pulling out his sai. "Why am I not surprised that you're behind all of this? Bring it on!" Raph spins his sais and lunges directly at the Shredder. The Shredder ducked blocking Raph's sai with his gauntlet. He punches Raph back and he rolled on the ground colliding with the wall. Parts of the ceiling crashed down on Raph hitting his head.

"Alright, Shred head," Raph growled, angrily rubbing his head. "Let's try that again!"

He kicks Shredder to the ground and back flips onto his stomach, only to get punched in the face. Shredder pushes Raph's face to the floor and Raph kicked the Shredder's helmet off. It was himself. HE was the Shredder! Raph's eyes widen in shock.

"No..." He said in disbelief. "You're...you're me!"

His evil self laughed evilly and punched him in the face.

Leo, Splinter, and Yuuki look around as the tentacles began to surround them. "Master Splinter, Yuuki, the creature! Look out!" Leo warned. Yuuki and Splinter dodged the tentacles as it came at them. Then the Shredder started to advance towards the group. Leo was struggling as he tried to fight of the creature. Yuuki saw the Shredder heading towards them. She landed next to Leo kicking a tentacle away.

"I'll keep him away. Help Splinter!" She told him. Then she charged at the Shredder and began fighting him. A tentacle grabbed Splinter.

"Leonardo!" Splinter called out as Leo sliced some tentacles. Leo gasped when he saw Splinter in the creature's grasp.

"L-Leo!" Leo turned his head back towards Yuuki to see she was disarmed by the Shredder as he knocked her weapon out of her hands. Shredder came towards her raising his gauntlet in the air. The creature began to squeeze Splinter. Leo looked back over at Splinter to see the the creature drop him as Splinter landed on the ground with a thud, lifeless. Then Leo heard a haunting blood curdling scream. He looked back over towards Yuuki and what he saw would forever haunt him in his memory. Shredder had struck Yuuki down with his gauntlet. She fell to the ground with a thud with three huge slash marks deep across her chest. Shredder had somehow mysteriously vanished.

"No!" Leo cried out. He quickly ran over to them, holding Splinter and Yuuki in his arms.

"Master Splinter? Yuuki?" Leo shook his head in shock. This can't be happening! "Master Splinter, Yuuki. No! Noo!"

Leo blacked out again. He opened his eyes to find himself in the pod and covered in goo again. Again, there was thumping next to him and Leo turned his head and gasped when he saw Yuuki and splinter, completely unharmed. And alive?

"Master Splinter? Yuuki?" Leo asked as Yuuki and Splinter helped pull him out of the pod. Leo looked at them confused. "Master Splinter, Yuuki, I...I thought I saw you," Splinter placed his hands on Leo shoulders. "You weren't-"

"You are confused, my son." Splinter explained.

"We're fine, Leo." Yuuki replied. There was something off with their voices. Leo shook his head.

"No, I'm sure." He pushed Splinters hand away from him and stood up. "I know what I saw. You both were..." There no way they were alive, but here they were completely unharmed. Leo tried to think what just happened. Something was wrong....

"You can't be my master and my girlfriend." Splinter's and Yuuki's eyes glow red as they picked up their weapons. "Something's not right."

They both attacked Leo, knocking him down. Leo turned to them. "Yuuki? Master Splinter?"

"You have disappointed me, Leonardo. Now I must teach you your final lesson!" Splinter said as he and Yuuki began to advance towards Leo.

"I never loved you!"

Leo backed away from them.

"Master Splinter, Yuuki! No! Noo!"

Leo cringed as the two raised their weapons above their heads getting ready to bring them down. Leo kicks splinter and Yuuki away.

"This can't be happening, this can't be real!" He scrambled to get up and quickly ran over to his swords, picking them up.

"None of this can be real! You can't be Yuuki and Master Splinter!" Leo shouted, pointing his sword at Splinter and Yuuki, who were getting up again. Their weapons floated from off the ground and went back into their hands and they both attacked Leo again. Leo slashed Splinter's staff in half and kicked Yuuki, knocking her back. Splinter and Yuuki both kicked Leo, knocking him down to the ground then they both jumped in the air lunging at him.

A sickening sound was heard as flesh was cut through pierced the air. Leo stared up in horror at Splinter and Yuuki as his swords pierced through their chests.

"Leonardo...What have you done?" Splinter asked, his eyes turning back to normal.

"L-Leo,...why?" Yuuki cried. Leo shook his head and immediately shut his eyes tight.

"No! It's not real! Its. Not. Real!" Leo shouted. Splinter and Yuuki's eyes turn red again and laughed evilly.

Leo gasped as he opened his eyes, seeing that he was in the pod, again. He took his swords and sliced through it, jumping out. He looked around and saw seven glowing red pods next to his. He sliced one and pulled it open to see Mikey covered in goo. He was struggling in his sleep.

Mikey looked up as "Leo approached him. "Listen to me, Mikey, this isn't real. It's all in your mind." He heard Leo's voice speak to him. Mikey looked to the side and saw the real Leo.

"You have to wake up." Leo put his hand on Mikey's shoulder, waking him up. He opens his eyes in surprise.

"Huh? Leo! What happened?" Mikey said.

"It was a dream, a nightmare," Leo explained. "Come on, we've got to wake the others up."

Mikey opened a pod and saw Alopex inside of it. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her trying to wake her up. But, something strange happened. As he did, he could see what Alopex was seeing.

In Alopex's mind, He saw that he was in a village completely inhabited only by foxes. As he walked in, Mikey saw a huge crowd, cheering, some throwing rocks, and chanting at someone. He walked closer and his eyes widen in surprise to see Alopex as she tried to defend herself from the flying projectiles.

"What the shell? Are all you people doing?!" Mikey shouted, angrily. Everyone stopped and turned to him. Alopex grandmother stepped up.

"This is none of your business, kappa!" She shouted. "Leave now!" Mikey stared at her, confused. What's a kappa? He shook his head then walked over to Alopex, helping her up.

"I don't know what's going on," He said. "But, I'm taking her with me."

"So you want the freak?" one of Alopex older sisters replied.

"Yeah, she's a murder!" the other one shouted. Mikey's eyes widen and looked at Alopex. She turned her head away from, not looking at him.

"Look, I don't care what Alopex did to you guys. But, that's in the past." Mikey said. "I will not let you hurt her."

He looked at Alopex and held his hand out to her.

"Come on, let's go," He said. "You don't need them." Alopex stared at Mikey with wide eyes then back to her grandmother, and the rest of the villagers then back to him. She smiled then nodded and took Mikey's hand.

Eventually, everyone was free and out of the pods and were clean.

"So some how, this creature or whatever its, was manipulating our minds." Leo said to them.

"Well, I don't like being anybody's lunch asleep or awake!" Mikey exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"Let's get Angel's brother and the shell out of here," Raph said, jerking his thumb.

"When I opened your cells, they were glowing," Leo explained. "something to do with creature's power," He looks around and saw another glowing pod ahead. "There!" He pointed to it. Everyone ran over to it and Raph opened it up with his sais. Inside was Angel's brother.

"No, don't! She's just a kid." Her brother screamed. Raph placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Give me a hand." He said.

Raph and Leo helped carry and guide Angel's brother. He starts to wake up and looks around confused until he sees the four turtles and three girls. He backs away from them in fear. "What? Who? Who-Who are you?!" He bumps into Donnie and falls to the ground.

"Don't worry, you're hallucinating," Raph said. "We're just a part of a very very weird dream. Now let's get you out of here before-" The cave started to shake as the ceiling began to crumble. "Too late!"

The creature shot it's tentacles at them and the four brothers and three girls jumped out of the way. It grabs Angel's brother, capturing him. Everyone struggled fighting the creature's tentacles. It raises a tentacle high in the air and knocks Raph and Mikey down. They get back up and Donnie was knocked back by a tentacle, crashing right into Venus. Raph and Mikey were knocked back and crashed into Alopex, smacking right into Donnie as well, as he was getting up. Leo jumps up, dodging away from a tentacle and lands near the flaming meteor. He staggers, nearly losing his balance from the edge.

Leo looks to the side and saw the meteor spear lying on the floor next to him, right where he had dropped it. "The meteor spear, " Leo murmured, picking it up. The cave began to shake more violently and the ceiling began to crumble and fall down. The creature emerged from the ground, revealing itself. It looked like a giant scorpion mixed with squid attributes, as well. It's glowing red eye stared down at Leo. Leo held the spear tightly in his hands.

"Feel my power, see my strength. You can't fight me. You cannot win," Leo heard the creature's voice in his mind. "If you serve me, I will give you cities. I will give you power and wealth. I will give you the world," His eyes turned red.

"The world," He said.

"Leo, don't!" Leo heard another voice desperately call out to him. His eyes widen and turn to normal and he quickly turned his head to see Yuuki, well, in spirit form.

He stared at her in surprise. "What are you doing here?!"

Yuuki placed a hand on Leo's shoulder. "I sensed that you were in trouble and it looks like I was right." Leo smiles and turned his head back towards the monster. He raised the spear in the air.

"Sorry, not interested!" He shouted, throwing it into the creature's eye. The creature shrieked as it screamed in pain and began to glow very brightly. Leo shielded his eyes from the light until it diminished and the creature was gone, destroyed. He turned his head to see that Yuuki was gone as well.

The old man groaned as he leaned on the table, wiping off the sweat. "Your friends have done it. They have defeated the beast," He said, falling to the floor, taking off his glasses. "I am free from it's grasp."

"Free?" Angel asked. "What do you mean?"

The old man turned to her. "My.. name...is C.F. Volpehart." he explained. His body began to collapse and slowly turned to dust. Angel backed away in shock. She hears the doors open behind her and sees her brother along with the turtles and three girls.

"Angel?" Her brother asked.

"Ryan! Ryan!" Angel ran up to him, hugging him. "You're okay!"

"They will be, after a nap." Donnie pointed. "and a shower."

"Hey, where's the old dude?" Mikey asked, looking around the room as he walked in.

"You're standing on him," Angel said. Mikey cringes and looked down to see Volpehart's dust underneath his feat.

"Gross, gross, gross!" Mikey screamed in a girly voice, jumping out of the ashes, trying to dust the remains off his feet.

"Come on, let's go home," Donnie said. "I've had more than enough weirdness for a lifetime, let alone one day."

They drive away in the van, leaving the old house, to take Angel and her brother home. They pass a man, wearing glass who walked by a phone booth when it starts to ring. He answered it.

"Hello?"

"Come to me," He hears a voice on the other end. "Serve me and I give you power and wealth. I will give you the world.-" The man interrupted him. "Sorry, but you have the wrong number." and he hangs up the phone, walking away.

Yuuki was in her room doing her homework, when she heard a knock on her window. She looked and saw Leo outside. She ran over and opened it, letting Leo in.

"Leo, what are you doing here? " She asked. Suddenly, Leo pulled her close to him, hugging her tightly.

"I just had to see for myself that you were okay." She heard him say as he buried his face in her shoulder. Yuuki returned Leo's hug and took his hand leading him to her bed, sitting down.

"What happened, Leo?" Yuuki asked.

"I saw Splinter and you. Both of you were dead."

"We're fine, Leo. He's fine, I'm fine. We're both okay." She told him. Yuuki climbed into Leo's lap, sitting on it, facing him.

Leo leaned in and kissed her. Yuuki kissed him back placing her hand on his plastron, pushing him down onto the bed. The two stared into each other's eyes, in anticipation. Both excited and nervous.

That night would forever be treasured in Leo's and Yuuki's memories.

As they both became one...

[tillymint7]

The 2020 LJMU Fine Art Graduates

Initial feelings

To be honest I’m still trying to get my head round how different everything is. For those new students coming in to LJMU it’s their first experience, they do not know any different, but there is still the brutal reality of what is going on around us and their altered expectations of what uni life would of been like had this pandemic never happened.

For those of us who know the joy of what LJMU Fine Art Degree course was like before, there is a sense of deep sadness. As dramatic and privileged as it sounds, I feel like we are all in moaning. Just like the rest of the world, yarning for a world we lost and a freedom we didn’t appreciate until it was gone.

We (now 2nd and 3rd year) also continued to make work through lockdown and tried to create work in ways that didn’t include help from free uni software or equipment, we made what we could with what we had. Many of us posting bits on our Instagram art pages, creating new collectives and online galleries just trying to get through it like everyone else in the hope of staying sane. 

I really appreciate that our recent graduate students had a very very hard task of being the very first to have to show their work for their graduation in this way and I’m super proud of them, their work is literally otherworldly. A zeitgeist, they all did an absolutely outstanding job, but I feel they may also the last lucky ones to have the good fortune to have the full 3 year experience of the Fine Art course at LJMU the way is used to be. I hope I’m wrong, I hope the uni can return to the beautiful relaxed and welcoming place it once was.

.....but for now those inspirational moments in the building that shaped our work so much in the first year and that warm welcoming feeling that floated around the building for the moment has gone. I really miss our art family atmosphere so much, there is a distinct absence. It’s such a dystopian reality, I don’t think any student or staff member can quite get my head around it all just yet. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way and I know we are all in the same boats. I’m sure we will get through this funk and I know the intention was to cheer us all up with the power of possibilities and Im sure we will all produce some outstanding and ground breaking artworks because of this experience.

Critique:

(Below art work by Ellie Towers)

Our graduates work was displayed in a digital format. It was so apt considering our current state of being, becoming one with the AI. They created an interactive platform with a worm hole to Mars. Each artist designed an avatar, which once pressed the viewer was transported to the artist world. They used found footage from their practice degrees show, which thankfully I had the great pleasure of attending pre lockdown. This approach helped pull the past and present together, this then led onto their other creations, videos, 3D digital creations, GPS footage their ideas where so innovative like a peak inside a multiverses. They all had to quickly get their heads around brand new mediums within their work, which they all impressively took in their stride.

(Below art work by Nicole Stiff)

This pull between the passed and present and fragmented time is something I am always drawn to as an artist and is displayed in my work. This made me think that that metaphor of a worm hole allowing two moments to live in the same space is so fascinating to me. Each artist used their home space in really unique, inspiring and transformative ways allowing the viewer to be submerged in their work. 

I was really drawn to Parice’s work, she seems to be drawn to similar art outcome to mine. We are both cloud enthusiasts and existentialists, we both use mirrors, distortion and refraction. We also both suffer from the struggle to avoid an existential crisis, although mine is normally on a daily basis :) 

(The images below: My Mini Degree art installation ‘Sky and Ceiling’ 2019)

Parice’s work was like a ‘how to’ on pandemic survival. She uses layers in her work, which gives it that element of time and fragmentation joining the past and present. We are also both aware of our need to meditate in order to focus. As well as using our family within our work, although maybe for our graduates the use of their family and nearest and dearest was more a necessity then a normal practice approach. 

Personally I have always been drawn to including my family within my work rather than editing them out. I feel its important to including family or friends if possible, allowing them to be a important part of our work, its like they will live on through our work no matter what happens in life. It is a way of preserving the things most precious to us, capturing and encapsulating them inside an ever  evolving artwork.

(The image below from our zoom lecture: Parice’s Bowers title page for her work: ‘Working at Home: How to Avoid an Existential Crisis’)

Parice use of clown make up to display her emotion, which reminded me of  Cindy Sherman’s artwork they both have an element of tragic humour about them. I loved how honest she was about how she felt and her comical but good advice on the use of gin. ‘Stating you can make a schedule for work.... but that doesn’t work for me’. This is also something I don’t do. I create work when the mood allows, I also feel that adding undue pressure is not helpful. 

Parice’s work is very different to mine in so many ways, she adds much more images of herself which is not something I feel that comfortable in doing. Where as I tend to avoid putting my own face in my work. Her approached to her presentation lay out was very similar to my end of first year portfolio submission with regards to its multiple lined up images and footage added to each slide. So strange how some artists work seem to have an unconscious link between them. 

I also noticed Parice’s use of time lapsed short footage, which is something I also use in my film art work all the time. This idea that a small brief moment can have so much resonance in its simplicity is something I find really beautiful, compared to more complex works. communication does not have to complex to be mesmerising, valid or though provoking. To me the most simple footage can hold so much meaning.

So unbelievably exciting to see where they all our 2020 Fine Art graduates end up next. Their graduation show ended up in art magazines and gained so much very well deserved recognition. Im sure they will all have very bright futures, it will be beautiful to watch them all progress post graduation. 

3D Digital artwork like the mars avatars isn't something Iv tired, but I will certainly give it a go during this next year. It’s always good to add another skill to your practice. I will also start a website to give my work another platform for people to connect with.

Below a few more images from the practice Graduation Show. 🤩

[minttexs]

College!Bangtan

College!Bangtan 0/?

Kim Seokjin:

acting major in his senior year

top of the class

world wide handsome

everyone’s prince charming

low-key a cuddly 5 year old

but high-key acting like your mom

and probably besties with your mom (rip jungkook)

kind and always helping to everyone

teachers and profs are his best friend

i bet some female teachers have a crush on him (who wouldnt just look at him)

not really a social media person

but when posts

its usually something about his friends or family

probably a special occasion or an achievement

and boi he will not be shy to show off the ones he loves

lives with his roomie for life (aka Min Yoongi)

currently trying to get a role in the national theatre to start career

but he already starred as a model in Namjoon’s design projects

currently single bc he has to deal with so much shit his dongsaengs commit (and probs need to fix it)

Min Yoongi:

composing major (*cough cough* obviously)

sleeps through entire classes

tho he’s low-key a genius so he can get away with anything (min yoongi jeonje jjang jjang man boong boong)

raps, sings, produces music, writes lyrics

and excells at every one of them

basically the favourite student of everyone

even though he somehow managed to sleep through 3 entire classes and even when a completly different group was in having a test, and because of rule violation he was the first person to get detention in university

like ever

lives with world-wide-handsome-roomate-for-life (hint: Jin)

mean baby 

sarcasm at level savage100

but can be a soft squishy (especially around Hobi)

has a secret crush on his friend

who became his muse and writes music about, but no one knows who is it

(except GeneralHobi and SpyJin)

Jung Hoseok:

dance major (i wanna be in the same class as him asdfghjkl help me)

when i say top of the class im not kidding bc the boi got em moves

and everyone loves him

like look at that sunshine

his hoobaes ADORE him

(i think everyone has a secret shrine for him at home, bc girl i do)

the teachers often ask him to subsitute them

even in older classes bc he’s so good

won many competitions

and always practicing for one

filming his own coreos on YouTube under the name HopeOnTheStreet (sounds familira huh?)

roomates with his fashionista fellow 94′ liner (Namjoon)

back to his hoobaes

doesnt matter girl or boy, this guy is so many people’s crush i dont have enough space to list them

low-key has a crush on one of his hoobaes in his dance team

but high-key not admittin this to himself

so he’s like

‘no she’s not my crush, i dont see her that way‘

but always glancing in her direction in any given moment

(someone help this boy)

Kim Namjoon:

fashion/designing major (idk if this exists but it will exist for now)

he’s such a fashonista

his #KimDaily is such a big hit (pun intended) not just among students at his class

models like a BOSS

but everyone loves the dimple selfies he has (im so soft for his dimples help me)

high-key genius

not kidding this boi could school the kids at the science building

low-key everyone’s tutor

but only tutors people he knows

so rip those poor girls all over campus trying to get his number (guess they have to fangirl their ass off on instagram aka me...saveme.mp3)

loves photographing even though he breaks everything

(not the photographing stuff tho bc that shit is expensive)

tho Jungkook is his personal photographer

lives with his 94′ liner hyung (Hobiiiii)

probably will be an editor at a high-fashion magazine (bc he’s a genius and has a great sense)

also someone who is head over heels for one of his hoobaes

he was melted at the exact moment when the cutie patootie freshmen (who didnt know her sunbae was the fashion star of the whole university) asked him to take a picture of them for their portfolio 

help this boy he’s whipped for her :’)

Park Jimin:

also dance major (i mean look at dem moves)

is the most adorable person you can find on whole campus

and bish is he a graceful dancer as hell? (the answer is obviously yes no matter what your opinion is)

he dances all the classics, but favourite is contemporary

high-key great at hip hop

basically lives in the practice room

no joke this kid earned a locker in the practice room

all his teachers melted by his adorableness

though acts like a savage teen on 3 cups of coffee when around friends

but he’s still adorable you cant deny that

part of trouble line 

always cleans the mess his roomate aka best friend aka soulmates for ever aka Kim Taehyung makes

if you havent guessed he lives with Tae, and they are like best friends since high school (bc Jimin helped his ass not to fail history)

is a thirsty hoe

but more discreet than the maknae

but they are together always on look out for da ladies (wink wink if ya kno wat i mean)

Kim Taehyung:

fashion/designing major as well

designs and makes his own clothes

saves money for gucci (sorrynotsorry but its true)

role model for everyone at his class

he and Namjoon taking pics of their outfit for ever

if you want to hang out with them make sure to come an hour late maybe they will finish their mini-photoshoot by that time

all about them high-fashion

you’ll see this boy walking down the hallway like its a fashion-show

everyone thinks he’s cold

but in reality his the softest human being

some would say a bit weirdo but weird-fashonista-boy is the new bad boy (emirite?)

is friends with everyone

even they only spoke like 2 sentences they became friends period

lives with his soulmate (aka softie 2.0 aka Park Freaking Jimin [i cant swear bc of this goddamn tumblr monitising smh])

probs the most fashionable on the entire campus

looks for eternal love like in fairy tale bc this boy is living in his own

is fan of art (thats how he met Jungkook)

is a trouble maker and he’s always ready to gossip and spill tea with Jimin (or anyone else of his “friends”)

part of trouble line (obvy)

Jungkook is still mad at him for breaking his door, that Jimin had to fix

Jeon Jungkook:

art major (the boi is a real talent)

as i mentioned before, constant doodling (errday everyday)

pranking his hyungs 25/8

lives with his hyung by blood bc too broke to have his own place

obsessed with photographing as well

Tae and Joon made him their bitch when they found out about that (poor boy and his love for taking pictures)

Jin always babying him bc he’s one

trouble line leader

loves arts and repects artists and subaes a lot (met Tae at an art gallery how adult is that)

half-lives at the Vmin residency

but not letting them into his place since Tae broke his door which Jimin fixed for him

obssesed with social media (especially Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat)

wink wink follow him at j_jungkook97 (its fake yall before you attack me for playing with your heart)

wingman of Jimin, also wingman of himself

he’s one hormonal teen still

so thirsty (no and this time i dont mean myself for him thank you)

but still single bc lowkey he wants a more serious relationship like his brother’s

but highkey just wanna smash (you’ll here that sentence a lot more form now on...)

(a/n: these are my edits but the pics are not mine; cr to their rightful owner; i found them on Google :P)

[kedreeva]

@keepthestormatbay replied to your post:

Thankyou so much for replying!!!!! Im studying to be an editor/proof-reader/whatever, so this would also help me to build a portfolio of work for when i need one for jobs… I just never knew how to go about it without seeming weird, so thankyou lots for the advice!! *Cough* I always thought there WAS a secret club *cough*

Good luck out there. If you’re looking to build a portfolio someone might actually look at, beta reading for unpublished work like fanfiction may not be terribly useful, but it’s certainly a good place to start interacting with writers and learning how to approach editing when there’s another human being on the other side of it.

HOWEVER, you can offer services in a more official (and paid) capacity on sites like Fiverr ($5 for X service), and potentially get portfolio work editing school papers and such. I don’t edit and I don’t have my original stories to the point of editing, so I don’t know much about good sites to offer this kind of service on, but I’m sure you could ask around and find more of them.

If you’re still actively IN school, I’d look into your school’s version of a writing helpdesk and join it. My college had an office where kids could bring their school papers and folks there would help them to edit and proof-read and improve their papers. They had contact screen names on several instant messaging services as well, so if you just had a quick editing question you could message the office and get a response if they were open, without having to actually go take up space and time. If your school doesn’t have something like this, maybe consider starting one- THAT would certainly look good on a resume.

[dolanbrows-blog]

Subjects // Ethan Dolan Series Part 1

Summary: When Ashley and Ethan, no more than familiar faces to each other are paired together for an art project, they’re forced to cross boundaries neither of them had suspected they would ever have to.

Woohoo? I’ve been so reluctant to posting this, because I feel it’s a bit lacklustre since I haven’t really written in a while, and I don’t have a particularly big following and have a severe fear of rejection :’)… As first chapters go, I hope this isn’t too cringey or tedious for anyone to read, and I can promise that the excitement prevails in later chapters. I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1.74k

WARNINGS: None, other than the occasional swear

~

8:29 AM

“Fuck.” I hissed, pulling my finger from my mouth. I watched blood spread down the side of one ridiculously over-bitten nail as I walked steadily to art class, scowling as it ran down the back of my hand. It stung.

As I stared at my hand, using my sleeve to mop up the blood, the class bell rang down the hall, signalling that I was late. “Great.” I muttered, picking up the pace. I jogged up the final flight of stairs, eventually rounding into the classroom; my worn Vans squeaked against the floor, attracting the attention of my entire art class and Mr Wells, my teacher.

“Late again, Graves?”

I hesitantly opened my mouth to offer an excuse, before being cut off by Wells. “I believe everyone has paired up for this project, aside from Dolan.” A quick nod towards the space where ‘Dolan’ was sent me on my way towards him with my head down.

I sat beside the boy as instructed, not giving him a second glance. He- Ethan-  responded to the action with a small shrug as we both turned our attention back to the front of the class.

“As I was saying,” Wells continued, “Your final project of the year is one which revolves around the duo; the ideas formed through the dynamic of two people.”

As he droned on, I turned to Ethan, who was scribbling what seemed to be initial ideas for this new project. I tried to glance over at what he was writing as subtly as possible- as being someone I’ve barely exchanged a sentence with, I found myself intrigued into how he worked.

“Ashley, right?” I jumped when he suddenly whispered, his eyes fixed on the notebook balanced on his jean-clad thighs, “Do you need a band aid?”

My eyebrows furrowed. “I noticed blood on your hand.” I turned my attention to my still-bleeding finger.

“Uh…sure.” I replied, puzzled as to how, and why he had noticed such a detail. With his eyes not leaving the notebook on his lap, his left arm reached for his backpack under the table in which he dug around for a few seconds, before pulling out a small band-aid packet.

He slid it across the table, where I reached over and took it, unpeeling it and wrapping it around my finger.

“Thanks.” I whisper, receiving another shrug in reply.

“So by the end of term, I want a full mixed media portfolio of work from each pair, with whatever focus you decide on amongst yourselves.” Mr Wells continued, propping up his glasses. “You’ve got this lesson to begin planning, and from then every class will be spent building up your sketchbooks, etcetera. Any questions?”

9:12 AM

An entire half hour of the lesson was wasted on me, scribbling down whatever I could brainstorm, getting rid of the crappy ideas with the eraser on the end of my pencil, and making the biggest pile of rubber debris that I could.

My huffs of frustration were drowned out by mass discussion of ideas from every other pair in the class; people that didn’t arrive late to class, who got the choice of who they worked with. Not that it would’ve made a difference , I thought to myself, glancing at the faces of my classmates. It’s not like any of them speak to me anyway.

Quick tapping turned my attention to Ethan, who I had almost forgotten about. Out of the whole class, we were the only silent ones, aside from his thumb repeatedly tapping on his notebook, as, I presumed, he was mustering up more ideas for the project.

He’s not unpopular, right? I furrowed my brows. “Why didn’t you work with a-” I cut my accidentally spoken thought off with an audible gasp.

His thumb stopped tapping against the paper, and for the first time his attention was drawn away from the notepad, and onto me. “Why didn’t I work with a friend?” He finished my question with a raised eyebrow. His lips were slightly parted as he waited for some sort of reply.

I remained silent, gulping as I couldn’t think of anything to say. “Because I don’t have any. Not in this class, anyway.” He shrugged again.

Ethan’s dark eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at me, almost as if he were assessing me in some way. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, noticing his sharp jawline clench slightly before he leant back in his chair.

I rolled up my jacket sleeves as I felt myself heat up for some unknown reason. “What…what are you looking at?” I questioned, uncertainty in my tone. His body shook slightly as he let out a quiet chuckle. He shook his head, leaning towards his backpack again with one arm, using the other hand to comb through his hair: mostly dark, aside from the few lighter strands at the front.

I watched as he pulled out a sketchbook from his bag and folded it open to a blank page. Picking up his pencil, he began to mark out something, still making occasional eye contact with me. I began to frown.

“What are you doing?”

“Drawing you.”

I remained puzzled.

“We’re supposed to be discussing ideas, Ethan. I don’t think this is-”

“If you keep moving, you’re going to screw up the proportions.” He bit his lip in concentration.

“This…is weird.” I muttered, leaning back in my seat. “We’ve never spoken before, and all of a sudden you’re drawing me?”

“Well…drawing is my ‘thing’, and I’m presuming you haven’t come up with an idea yet?”

I shrugged. “Well, no- we haven’t-”

“So I’m going to draw you, Ashley, until either one of us comes up with something good. You can link a portrait to any topic, so I’m just getting us ahead of the rest of the class.” He smirked up at me.

9:29 AM

I stared at Ethan’s hand as he drew for several minutes, before the loud ringing of the bell blasted through the room. Mr Wells dismissed himself, due to needing to leave for another lesson, and the rest of the class began filing out of the room. I pushed my chair out from under the table, and stood, only to be cut off by Ethan who had stayed put.

“Have you got a free period?” He questioned.

“Uh…yeah, but I was gonna-”

“Sit back down and let me carry on?” He tilted his head towards me somewhat condescendingly.

I looked towards the door and sighed, sitting back down. “I guess I could stay for ten minutes or so.”

Ethan looked up at me as a reference, and I noticed a small smile playing on his lips. I pushed my hair out of my face and frowned. “What?” I asked, letting out a nervous laugh as he chuckled, looking down at his page.

“You wanna see?” He grinned, twiddling the pencil between his fingers.

I shrugged, and Ethan turned his sketchbook around towards me. “I’ve only done the outline and started shading in a bit of the face, but-”

“Dude.” I cut him off, my lips parted. I smiled. “How’ d you do it that good that quickly?” I questioned in disbelief. What he had drawn so far was undoubtedly me, and despite the fact that I tried to avoid coming face to face with my appearance regularly, I couldn’t help but gaze at the detail in the shading he had done.

Ethan laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s alright, I guess.” He spoke, taking back his sketchbook and continuing. “So, if drawing is my thing, what’s yours?” Ethan suddenly asked. I pouted in thought, leaning my elbows on the table.

“I’ve recently gotten into street art, and I’d like to think im alright at that.” I answered, fiddling with my watch. “But I’d have to say photography is my strong point- although there’s not really anything I don’t enjoy experimenting with.” My tone still slightly unsure, yet the previous exchange of smiles reminded me Ethan was no one to be anxious towards.

After watching Ethan concentrating for a while, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Instinctively, I pulled it out and unlocked it, seeing that I’d received several texts.

Dad: I’ve been given an interview for the city job, honey

Dad: It’s on Saturday morning- would you be able to come with me? You know how things are.

I smiled at the screen, typing back a reply.

Me: I told you things would fall into place! I’m so proud of you. I haven’t got any plans for Saturday, so of course I’ll go with you. Also, remind me later on to get your prescription :)

“What are you all happy about?” Ethan’s voice made me look up. “A special someone send a cute-”

“A special someone? Me?” I scoffed. Ethan frowned.

“What’s funny about that?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I mean…compare me to, I don’t know, every girl in our art class. I’m not exactly-“  I stopped, glancing at Ethan who was still frowning in my direction. I sighed. “Why am I even…no. It was a message from my Dad, Is all.”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. What’s the point?” He spoke.

I swallowed, folding my arms and avoiding eye contact before looking at my watch. “I, uh…have to go.” I sniffed, packing away by things and standing, all the while Ethan followed me with a stare.

“I…didn’t mean to say anything wrong- I-”

“No,” I cut him off with a weak smile, “it’s not you- I just have to go.”

“Okay, well before you do, can you give me your number? In case either of us get ideas?”

I nodded, twisting round to pull the nearest piece of paper from my bag.

“I got'cha.” Ethan said, pausing my actions. He stuck his arm out across the table, and rolled a pen in my direction with his other hand. I leaned over and wrote my number onto his forearm, before passing his pen back and settling my bag strap.

“See ya.” I said quickly, walking away from Ethan and out of the classroom.

As I walked down the corridor, my phone vibrated once again. I pulled it out of my pocket and read the notification.

Unknown number: Football field tomorrow after classes? Bring your camera. -E

I tapped in a reply, saving his number as Ethan Art.

Me: Why the field? - Ashley

Seconds later I received a reply;

Ethan Art: You’ll see.