#like i saw people anticipating it but i still wound up doing something very last minute haha

[cern1cal0]

<3

[luvergirl141]

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER -- PART ONE

Here it is! Thanks to all the sweet people that let me know they were excited <3 Love you all. For those who don't know, this is a Peeta POV extension of the cave scenes with Everlark. It'll be very long and very fluffy and romantic but also sad. This is my first time writing so I'm really excited to share it.

Also, part two is out now! It’s pinned on my profile!

“Peeta,” I hear a whisper.  It’s morning.  It’s our first day in the arena together since she found me by the river with a cut on my leg down to the bone.  I’m weak, and I haven’t eaten in two days.

I open my eyes slowly, groggily, and feel a hand on my cheek.  A shiver runs through my body.  “Katniss…” I whisper.

“You’re burning.  You need some food and water,” I hear her say.  Nausea clenches my throat at the thought of eating.  I sit up a little, resting on my elbows.

“I can try,” I agree.

“I got you some berries,” Katniss tells me, holding out her trembling hand, stained with purple juice.

I stare at the berries as if it will make them disappear.  Eating is the last thing I want to do right now.  Everything I’ve eaten in the last few days has come right back up no more than 30 minutes later.  

I slowly take a berry from Katniss’s hand and put it in my mouth.  The flavor bursts in my mouth. I inhale cold air before chewing and swallowing.

“A little more?” Katniss begs, biting her lip.  I glance at her face.  Pretty, I think.   I smile weakly and nod, taking a couple more berries from her and eating them as quickly as I can manage.

“We should wash your wound, Peeta,” Katniss says.  I shake my head.  The pain is barely even bearable now.

I turn to look up at Katniss again.  I can’t read her face.  “I….”

“We’ll use fresh water.  Drinking water from my bottle.”  I nod.  “Can we get your pants off?”  I nod again.

Katniss reaches for the waistband of my pants and pulls gently.  I lift my bottom up slightly so she can get my pants off. She pulls gently, but I still cry out in pain as the fabric goes over the wound.  When my pants are around my ankles, she places a kiss on my forehead.  It feels almost chaste, but it’s also a sort of reward.  Katniss takes off the cap of her water bottle and moves it toward my leg.  I grit my teeth in anticipation.  Slowly, I watch her shaking hands turn the bottle sideways.  I can’t look away as the water hits my leg.  I squeeze my eyes shut and tilt my head back, making quiet sounds of pain.  The hot throbbing on my cut radiates to the rest of my thigh, and the searing pain in the center makes my vision white.  My eyes sting with tears. I open them again to see Katniss’s pained look. I look down at my cut and see Katniss’s fingers moving towards it.  I shake my head and wince.  Her pointer finger lightly touches a speck of dirt just outside the wound and I cry out. 

 “Stop!”  I almost yell.

Katniss clamps her hand over my mouth.

“You need to be quiet.”  Her eyes burn into mine with an intensity that almost feels like anger.  A tear rolls down my cheek and I nod silently.  She takes her hand away.  I gasp and blow a breath out.  Katniss uses her hand to brush my hair out of my face.  She keeps pouring the cold water on my cut.

“Katniss–”

“--I know.”  Katniss uses her thumb to wipe the tear off my cheek, but when I blink another comes.  “Stay still for a little longer.  It’ll be over soon.”

I shut my eyes.  My chest feels tight and I’m starting to feel really nauseous.  I try to think of something nice, like my father.  But all that does is make me think of my mother.  She’d beat me if she saw me like this.  Anytime I cried or showed weakness, it was an opportunity for her to hit me.  I was always too soft compared to my brothers.  Now, if she saw me letting a girl take care of me…I can’t even think about it.

I open my eyes and focus on Katniss’s face again, wiping tears from my eyes.

I try to calm down but my stomach is rolling.  Katniss is still pouring a thin stream of water on my leg.  I’m shaking as I turn over and vomit onto the dirt.

“Peeta–” Katniss sets down the water bottle and puts a hand on my back.  

“Sorry–” I mutter, not looking her in the eyes.

“It’s fine, Peeta,” Katniss whispers.  “We’re done washing the wound.”  Katniss puts a hand on my cheek.  “Can you try to have some water?”

I shake my head.  “I still feel sick.”  

Katniss presses her lips together.  “When was the last time you drank something?”

“Yesterday.  I can drink.  Just not now,” I say.  Water will stay in my stomach, as long as there’s no food.  I’ve given up eating for now, but I can’t get dehydrated.

Katniss nods.  “We’ll try to get some water in you in a bit.  Why don’t we move you to the left a little bit?  I can clean up.”  I nod.  Katniss comes behind me and puts her arms under my armpits.

“On three.”  I nod.  “One, two, three-” Katniss pulls me and I move to the left as best I can, but it sends a jolt of pain through my thigh and I gasp.  We’re still in the cave, but closer to the side now.

“Good.  Good, Peeta,” Katniss encourages me and pulls a little further.  “Lay down.  I’m just gonna clean this up,” Katniss says.

I straighten out my neck until my head is on the rock and shut my eyes.  “I’m sorry,” I say softly.

“It’s ok.  Try to get some rest.  I want you to try and eat again tonight.”  I groan quietly.  I don’t want to eat.  I haven’t felt hungry in days.  I shut my eyes.  I don’t know how long they’re shut, but I know when I open them Katniss is above me and her hand is on my forehead.

“Peeta, you’re burning to death.  You need to be cooled down.”

I don’t feel like I’m burning to death.  I feel like I’m freezing to death, actually.  I look up at Katniss.

“Cool down?”

“Mm-hmm.  I think we should put you in the river.”  My heart drops.  I can’t swim.  Most people in twelve can’t, but I still feel embarrassed to tell Katniss.

“I, uh…I don’t think so,” is what I manage to get out.

“I think so.”  Katniss’s bluntness is attractive at times, but right now, it makes me feel like a wounded animal.  

“I….I…”

“What?”

“I can’t….swim, Katniss,” I say quietly, looking down in shame.

“I know.  I was just gonna have you sit at the edge with your feet in the water and get some water on your face.”

Suddenly I feel completely stupid for thinking she was going to have me swim.

“Oh.  Yeah, of course,” I say quietly.”  Maybe the fever is getting to my brain.

Katniss smiles at me.  “I’ll pull you down, but you have to work a little too.  This’ll really help your fever.” I nod.  Katniss comes behind me and puts her arms under my armpits like last time.  My breath picks up, louder, faster, with the pain that comes with moving, but I’m able to keep it together until we go over a particular bump and I make a sound between a whine and a cry.  Katniss stops for a second.

“You’re ok.  Just a little farther.”  I open my eyes and see that the river is about twenty feet away now.  I inhale, my breath catching before I can breathe out again.  Katniss continues to drag me down the rocks towards the river.  It’s taking an unbearable amount of time.  

The pain is only increasing the longer this goes on.  I can barely take it anymore.  I try to breathe slowly, measured, but I’m quivering and starting to panic.  I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fist tight trying to forget the pain until I feel my feet in freezing water and open my eyes.  I hear Katniss sigh in relief.  “Good job, Peeta.”  I turn to look at her.

She’s splashing cold water on her face.  Then she cups some in her hand.

“Let me rinse your face off.  You’re still covered in dirt.”  I nod.  She gently pours the water on my face.  A shudder wracks my body.  Now I’m really freezing.  Katniss can see that I’m shaking.

“I’m sorry, Peeta, but we need to get your fever down.”  She puts more water on my face, then a little on my hair.  “I know you probably feel cold right now, but I want to get your shirt off.  It’s soaked with mud and it’s not healthy to sit around in it,” she explains.

My shaky hands reach for the hem of my shirt, but I can’t grip it.   “Just put your arms up.  I’ll do it,” Katniss instructs, and I follow her order, lifting my arms straight up as Katniss gently takes my shirt off.  She sighs.  “Your whole chest, your stomach…it’s all covered in dirt,” she says.  I look up at her.  She’s already grabbing water and splashing it on my body.  The shivers that come to my body are violent and blur my vision.   It’s so damn cold.  I need a blanket, or my shirt back, or anything. I look up at the sky and grit my teeth.  The sun is right above me.  It’s the middle of the day now.  My body tenses when I suddenly hear Katniss gasp loudly.

“Peeta–”

“---huh???”

I look down to see what Katniss is looking at.  My leg had been in so much pain that I’d completely forgotten about it.  There’s a shallow cut near my left nipple, but that—

“Oh.”

I’d forgotten about that too. The large, purple-and-green bruise that stretches from my belly button almost to my right collarbone.

“Peeta, what happened?”

“After…no, before Cato cut me, he beat me.”

“With what?  This is…”

“A rock.”

Katniss presses her lips together.

“Is it bad?”

“I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me.  You could have internal bleeding in your stomach, Peeta.  That can kill you.”  Her tone is so serious that I’m suddenly humbled.

“I…I didn’t even think about it, honestly,” I run a hand through my hair.  “It doesn’t hurt that bad–”

“--if I press, will it hurt?  My mother used to do something…something with her fingers to check for internal bleeding…”

“Ah…I don’t know, Katniss,” I say honestly, shaking my head.  Now that I think about it, it does hurt.  But it’s nothing compared to the searing and throbbing in my thigh.

“Ok.  I’m gonna press, gently–”

“Where?”

“Right here.”  Katniss points to a spot just below my ribcage.  I nod and draw in a breath.  “This is how I’m going to see if you’re bleeding on the inside.”  I nod again.

Katniss’s trembling hand moves towards the spot and she touches her fingers to my skin, pushing gently.   The pain pulsates through my chest and stomach, through my whole body.  I’m not even able to tell her to stop before my vision goes black and my head hits the rock.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what y'all think!

[alisblackgf]

Hey! I saw you were taking requests so I was wondering if you could do a Chishiya x Reader where they both make it out of the Borderlands but Reader is the only one who remembers everything? That would be awesome if you could

ooh angst! i love it i love it (dw i gave it a bittersweet ending, no permanent heartbreak here!)

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pairing(s): chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader

trigger warnings: mentions of injuries

summary: you make it out of the borderlands only to find yourself in a hospital, and you're the only one who remembers anything about what had happened.

taglist: @grievedeeply @brxght-world

(i made an aib taglist just in case you want to be notified of my most recent works!)

(to apply, click here!)

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you sat against a random car next to an injured chishiya, who had been shot twice. the first time being when niragi proposed a shootout, the second time being when he took a bullet for usagi. 

after all of the time you spent in the borderlands getting to know and love him, you knew it was very uncharacteristic. that was the point of it, though. he wanted to do something uncharacteristic. it was really sudden, maybe the last game he played inspired him.

after all of the time he spent in the borderlands getting to know and love you, he knew you’d try and scavenge for things to help his wounds. however, he insisted you didn’t and asked you to stay by his side.

so you did just that. the both of you silently watched the sky as the multicolored fireworks went off. a feminine voice speaks, telling all survivors to decide if they would like to be permanent residents in the land.

“what do you think, chishiya?” you asked him.

“i don’t want it, i think. what about you?” he turned his head to face you, but you were still facing the sky.

“i’ll do whatever you’d like. we’re in this together,” you answered gently. you rested your head on his.

“and what will you do?” chishiya asked, seemingly to no one as it took a while for someone to speak.

“i don’t want it,” niragi stated. you hummed a bit at his response.

“are you guys truly ready to return to the real world?” you asked.

“i guess we’ll find out,” your boyfriend replied. you reached for his free hand and held it tight, waiting in anticipation to go back to the place you called home.

~~~

you woke up in a bright room with white lights, and it hurt your eyes. you blinked hard in an attempt to quickly adjust to the sudden shift of lighting. 

“you’re awake.”

you turned your head in the direction of the soft voice. it was a doctor.

“am i...in a hospital?” you asked weakly.

“yes, dear. i was just checking your status. clearly, you’re alive and conscious. do you need anything?”

“no, i think i’m okay.”

“do you remember anything?” the doctor asked.

before you could process the question, all your memories of what had happened came flooding back. it made your head ache.

“yeah..i do. i..i remember seeing these big fireworks and then the explosion.”

“those weren’t fireworks, dear. it was a meteorite.”

you hummed.

“i also remember...being in the borderlands.”

“the what?”

“you weren’t there?”

the doctor shook her head in response.

“huh. how long was i out for?” you questioned

“well, your heart stopped for an entire minute.”

“a minute? the borderlands didn’t last for a minute..” you whispered.

then you remembered him. your boyfriend, chishiya.

“chishiya! chishiya shuntaro! where is he?”

“he was issued into the hospital around the same time as you. why do you ask?”

“is he okay? can i see him?”

“well, i did see him on his way to the vending machines, but i’m not sure if you should-”

“i’m fine, look!” you eagerly got out of your hospital bed and walked around your room. you limped a little which didn’t go unnoticed by your doctor.

“you’re limping, i’ll get you a cane and then you can-”

“please, i need to see him now.”

your doctor sighed and let you wander off to find your lover.

~~~

after asking multiple people for directions, you finally made it to the vending machines. and there he was. he had his back facing you as he was getting water.

he looked much better than he did when you last saw him. he was able to walk and move. you were so happy to see him alive and well.

“excuse me? chishiya shuntaro?” 

upon hearing his name, he turned around to face you. you walked a little bit closer to him with your limp evident. while you closed a little bit of space between you two, he assessed you. you looked so familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.

“you look familiar. do i know you?” he asked.

and just like that, your heart shattered.

“you..don’t know who i am?”

he could sense the hurt in your voice, which made his heart twinge. he didn’t understand why seeing you upset made him upset if he didn’t even know you. but you knew him, and you knew his name. maybe you could explain where you two met. this thought intrigued him, so he made the ultimate choice to get to know you.

“no. but maybe if we talk more i’ll remember.” he looked outside and raised his eyebrow slightly. “it looks nice outside, would you like to take a walk together?”

your hurt expression was replaced by a slightly happier one.

“sure. that’d be nice.”

he noticed your limp earlier on, and allowed you to use him for support as you guys made your way outside.

halfway out the door, you thought about how if chishiya didn’t remember you, then he probably didn’t remember the borderlands either. which means he doesn’t remember the trauma and suffering he was put through. if that was the case, then you didn’t mind getting to know him all over again.

maybe this fresh start was a blessing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sighsigh i haven’t written anything in a while so excuse this mess pls i will get better i swear

[the-void-writes]

i wish i could put into words how knowing you has saved my life

Thank you so much for this prompt! It actually really helped develop some ideas for the parts of Freaks of Preston that I'm struggling with lol. I hope you enjoy this lengthy bit of long-needed comfort for Will and Jason.

TW: violence (brief description of a dislocated bone)

Freaks of Preston - You're My Hero - WC: 2.6k

The uniform for a Ves Corp soldier was much bulkier than Will had anticipated. His sleeves just barely stayed put on his arms, and the dark-tinted helmet felt heavy against his head. And yet, his disguise was working masterfully. None of the scientists questioned the short soldier walking through the halls. One of them even called him “Jin” before hurrying off to their lab. They mistook him for their own patient, the perfect cover for getting further into the facility.

After freeing the first wave of children from Vesely’s testing, several more parents had come to Will in hopes that he would go back and save their kids. It didn’t matter that he was just a boy— the very boy they used to punish for existing— still freshly wounded from his last fight in the wretched company that was holding his father prisoner. The people of Preston finally saw Will as something other than a monster: He was their personal, exploitable superhero.

That was why he was shuffling through the halls of Ves Corp in an oversized suit, groggy and feverish and tired of the world around him, but still determined to save these children. It was what Jason would have done, what he had given up his freedom for. He was the real superhero, in Will’s eyes, and he wanted to do as much good for the world as Jason had. Perhaps then, he wouldn’t feel so guilty about leading Jason down the path to Vesely.

Will’s first stop was the main lab. That was where most of the patient files were kept, which would lead him to the captured kids. Two tall guards stood at the door, one with a healing cut on his cheek, which Will couldn’t help but feel he was responsible for. His powers were stronger than he thought.

“No soldier units past this door,” the scarred man said.

Will spoke as deeply and confidently as possible, his voice obscured slightly by the helmet’s filter. “Just here to supervise some tests for Mister Rhodes.”

The guard squinted. “Are you new? No one calls him Rhodes.”

Will’s stomach dropped. He hadn’t counted on the employees knowing about Jason’s family troubles.

“Jim,” the second guard said, “let it go. It’s meant to be respectful.”

“He doesn’t like his name,” Jim said. “Rio beat that into all of us when they brought him here.”

Will took a deep breath, hoping no one could hear his heart pounding in his chest. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t realize.”

Jim shook his head slowly. “I’ll need to see your ID.”

His wrists felt tight from the building pressure of his powers. Thankfully, before he could lose control, a familiar and calming voice came from behind him.

“Thank you for meeting me here. Please, forgive my delay.”

Will was frozen in place as Jason stepped by him. He looked even more tired than before, with his sleepless eyes and tangled hair. The guards stood to attention, taking Jason’s badge to scan without question.

“This is one of our new hires,” Jason told Jim. “I asked him aside for a personal interview.”

“Of course, sir,” Jim said.

“But so young?” the other guard asked.

Jason turned his head slowly, and the chill in his eyes made the guard turn away.

“Don’t tell me you care about preserving childhood now, Peter. How many of our patients died under your watch?”

Peter remained silent, shaking ever so slightly. Jason looked back at Will, who was still hidden under his helmet, and gestured for him to follow him inside.

“Don’t interrupt us,” Jason said to the guards.

“Yes, sir.”

The door slid closed, and Jason locked it with the electrical panel on the wall beside it. Will couldn’t get himself to speak. All he had wanted was to see his godfather again, but now he was terrified. His mind was all over the place, stuck between the need to maintain his cover and the childish desire for comfort. Before he could choose, Jason spoke to him gently.

“Does your family work here?”

“Huh?”

“I assume that’s why Rio would let another child into the soldier’s unit. Otherwise, I’ll have to sit him down for an explanation.”

The last thing Will needed was Rio joining the party. He would know something was wrong in an instant, especially if he oversaw every soldier in the building. Will nodded his head, deciding to play the part for the time being.

“My parents work in accounting,” he said. “I wanted to do something more with my life.”

Jason managed a sad smile. “I’m sorry to tell you, but you would have been better off in accounting. You wouldn’t have to see what goes on in these labs.”

He took a seat at one of the many beaker-covered counters. Will took the moment to look at the lab around him, unable to stop himself from admiring the architecture and machinery on display. If it hadn’t come from a madman, Will could have spent hours studying all of Ves Corp’s technology. Thankfully, his curiosity faded away when Jason spoke again.

“I’m sorry to ask this, but did Vesely ask you to supervise us today?”

“Yes, sir.” Will said. “Thank you for covering for me.”

“Of course.” He closed his eyes. “Was that all Vesely told you? Did he give you any other instructions?”

“No, sir, not at all.”

“Thank you.” His shoulders fell in relief. “He keeps sending people to talk because I won’t see him. I’d say that he should know better, but sadly, I’m not sure that’s true. I don’t know what kind of person he is anymore.”

The sadness in his voice was unbearable, and Will didn’t think he could stay hidden for much longer. It was enough to make him push his luck.

“To be fair, sir, I can’t tell you what he is, either.”

Jason actually chuckled, and the pride in Will’s chest was quickly smothered by anxiety as he looked back at him.

“How are you liking it here?” he asked.

Will took a deep breath. “It’s been good, sir.”

Jason smiled. “You’re allowed to be honest, you know.”

“I wouldn’t want to ruin my chances here.”

“Don’t worry—” Jason drew his fingers across his mouth. “My lips are sealed.”

“Okay… This place sucks.”

It had been so long since Will heard his godfather’s genuine laughter— loud and hysterical like a bird or hyena, completely unfitting for the timid man it came from. He was just as odd as Will had once been, and that comforted him tremendously. Jason wiped a mirthful tear from his eye as he settled back down.

“You’re not wrong, I’m afraid. Security, medical, training— It’s all broken.”

“Don’t forget these soldiers. They act like they don’t want to be here.”

“Oh yes, they’re still shaken up from the last battle. You did a number on them, dear.”

Will thought his heart would jump out of his chest. He knew. Jason knew it was him under the helmet— but he hadn’t reported him yet. What was his plan?

The boy slowly met his eyes again, surprised when he found Jason’s terrified expression. His hand covered his mouth, and a tear rolled down his cheek. No, Will could see, he didn’t know it was him, at all. It was a slip of the tongue.

“Forgive me,” Jason whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He sat against a desk covered in messy piles of paper, holding his head in his hands. Will stood in front of him, feeling guilty for not speaking up.

“Are you okay, sir?” he asked.

“I didn’t mean to. You just reminded me—” Jason sighed. “Part of me hoped you were him.”

“Him?”

“The boy who came here and freed the patients. He’s my godson. I thought he was dead— these bastards convinced me that I killed him. I finally got him back, but I had to send him away for his own safety. I would never dream of keeping him in this prison. Still, if I could just see his face again, if I could tell him I’m sorry…”

“Sorry?” Will didn’t try to hide the offended tone in his voice. “Why would you need to be sorry?”

“This place has changed me. I’m not the man he remembered and looked up to.” 

Jason reached for the pendant of his necklace, the little sun charm that Will had made all those years ago.

“What would you do,” Jason asked, “if someone you once admired turned into a monster? What if he beat a man to an inch of his life, right in front of you? What if he had failed the children he promised to save, turning them into an army for an obsessed old man? Would you ever look at him the same way again?”

He buried himself further into his hands. Will couldn’t bear seeing him in so much pain, and all because of him— again.

“What if he told you that it didn’t matter?” Will asked.

Jason looked up from his hands. “Didn’t matter?”

“I mean— what if it didn’t change his mind about you? What if you’re too kind of a person to ever be a monster in his eyes? These people did awful things, and you tried to stop them. That’s not monstrous.”

“But the things I’ve helped them do—”

“They fucking manipulated you! They plucked you out of a hospital and forced you to train their kids or else they’d kill everyone else you loved— and when you saw the truth, you fought back. You were never a monster, Jace. You’re my hero!”

In the heavy silence of the room, Will realized he had slipped up. There was no more hiding. Jason rose slowly from the desk, waiting patiently as Will removed his helmet. The air felt colder on his damp face. All either of them could do was stare at each other, trying to anticipate what the other would do.

Jason was the first to break. Tears ran freely from his eyes as he took the boy’s shoulder and pulled him close, holding his head like he was cradling a baby.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “It never should have gone this way.”

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Will patted his back. “I don’t hate you, okay? I could never hate you.”

“Even after—”

“You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry I got scared, but you were right. Vesely needs to be stopped, no matter what.”

Jason sighed. “You’re right… but I’ll find a better way to stop him, I promise you.”

Before they could say anything else, the door opened so fast that Will thought it would break. He was paralyzed as the two guards rushed inside.

“Sir, there is no new hire. This soldier is an intruder—” Jim faltered as he spotted Will. “Pete, order a lockdown now. Tell them the Shapiro boy is here.”

Jason’s arm tightened around Will. “You’re not going to say anything, okay?”

“Jason, you know the rules.” He approached them swiftly. “I know this is upsetting, but he can’t be here.”

Jim’s grip on Will’s arm nearly knocked him off his feet. There was a sudden shift in the air, a pained yelp, and a sickening sound that Will was sadly familiar with; the pop of a bone. Jim had been thrown into the wall, and his right arm was completely limp— dislocated, most likely. Jason stood between the guard and the boy, retracting his wings to a shielded position. His voice was full of darkness.

“Don’t touch my son.”

In all their years together, Jason never so much as raised his voice around Will. He had always been careful to not act as Isaiah would. Even so, Ves Corp had clearly worn him down too much. His supposed friends had taken everything from him, spinning this elaborate tale of Jason’s self-inflicted misfortune. There was no point in staying calm for monsters like them. 

Still, the rage in his eyes and the venom of his voice made Will feel like a scared young boy in Preston all over again. And yet, he still felt safe and warm, because this time, someone was fighting for him.

“Jason…” Peter grabbed Jim off the floor. “Please, listen to us. We’re only looking out for the company.”

Jason shook his head. “It’s naive of you to think I still care about your precious company.”

Peter inched towards the door with Jim on his shoulder, trembling under the weight of both his friend and Jason’s sharp stare.

“You can take Jim to the infirmary, but if I hear Will’s name coming from your radio, your fates will be far worse.”

Peter was struggling to speak. “But sir—”

“Just give me one moment with my son, please! It’s the least you can do after making me believe I murdered him!”

Finally, the guards had no rebuttal. They walked backwards out of the lab, their eyes never leaving Will until they shut the door. Jason gasped and leaned back against his desk, closing his eyes in shame.

“Oh god, Jim,” he said, mostly to himself. “What have I done?”

“Jason?”

“I ruin everything, don’t I? This darkness, I don’t like it. I’m making your life hell, Will, and I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me—”

He jumped as Will hugged him again, crying into his sweater.

“Would you stop saying shit like that? You saved my life, Jace. If that makes you a monster, then I shouldn’t be alive!”

“No— No, that’s not true!”

“Then stop calling yourself a monster! Stop saying you only make mistakes!”

Jason brushed his hair, hushing him gently. “Please, dear— You’re right, I’m so sorry. You are not a mistake, Will. Meeting you is the greatest thing I’ve ever done.”

Will sniffled and coughed weakly, and he suddenly remembered how sick he was. Two thick wings came down around his shoulders to stop his shivering. He truly felt like a young boy again, but it wasn’t demeaning or depressing. It felt like home.

“I assume there’s a reason you snuck in here, besides coming to see me.”

“Right— I need to free some more kids for their families.”

Jason scoffed in disgust. “After everything you already did for them— The least they could have done is send authorities.”

“I think the cops are in your boss’ pocket, anyway.”

“You know, that sadly explains a lot.” He ruffled the boy’s hair. “Then it looks like I’ll have to help you sneak around and free those kids.”

Will shook his head. “You’ll get in trouble.”

“They’d have to catch us, first. Lucky for us, I know this building well. I’ve learned all its secret paths.”

Jason lowered his wings and went over to the front door. He listened for a while, and once he was satisfied, he headed for the stairs to the observation deck. Before he climbed the metal staircase, he held his hand out for Will.

“What do you say— Partners for the day?”

Will smiled and put his helmet back on. “Sure.”

//////

Jason helped Will up the stairs with careful precision. The boy’s steps were slightly off-balance, but he did his best to keep moving. As he went over the list of kids he had to save, Jason couldn’t help but admire the wonderful hero his son had become. Will was right to scold him for his harsh comments towards himself: no monster could have raised such a strong, selfless, and amazing child.

You said that knowing me saved your life, Jason thought to himself, but Will, I hope you know that you saved me first. You have always been my hero.

[kittycat0419]

“Any last words?” the king asks his son, a noble who foolishly lead a rebellion against him.

“More like a request,” he replies, a smug look adoring his already bloodied face.

“What is it then?”

“I want to fight all your knights”

“I will allow your request, but you will only be given a training sword”

“Perfect”

“Then that will be your execution first thing in the morning”

The boy was led away by the guards to spend the night within the palace dungeon and the king turns to go to his bed chambers. On his way there he pondered why his son would wish to duel the knights with only a training sword. Surely he knew just how powerful the knights were, far more powerful than even him. Asking to fight them only equipped with a dull, wooden sword is just asking for death, but given that he was to die by noon the next day it would atleast be more entertaining this way. The king was satisfied with that answer and got ready for bed. As he laid down in his bed one last thought came into his mind as he drifted off to sleep, what if his son had a plan to escape his death.

The next morning, just as the sun was coming into view on the horizon, people began to make their way to the castle arena. They knew that today was to be the execution of the ex-prince. Some came hoping to see the boy be let freed and spared, other wished to see the blood bath of the arrogant young man. There was a silence in the crowd as the king came to sit on his throne with the best view of the arena, no one knew just how the execution was going to be done, but if the king came to view it it had to be something interesting. However, the anticipation grew into confusion as they saw the boy being brought out in nothing but the torn clothes he had been in the night before and a wooden sword. They wondered why the executed was seemingly given the chance to fight off their death.

“He was allowed to choose his death” the king loudly said to the people coming to watch, “what he chose was to fight till he died”

At the king’s last word, a door opposite the boy lifted up and out came a knight. This knight was young but capable, an easy first opponent that should still get the job done. The knight brought out his weapon and the boy raised his own. The crowd watched with baited breath to see just how this would play out. The king sat unamused, knowing that his son didn’t stand a chance and would be dead before long. The knight ran at the prince, intent to finish him in just one blow, but he wouldn’t allow that. The boy jumped up just before the blade reached him, being much faster without the armor weighing him down like the knight. Everyone gasped as the boy dodged the hit as time seemed to slow as everyone watched to see what would come next. The boy was not in the air above the now confused knight and took his chance to get a hit into the knight’s weak point, the shoulder. The king sat up now, worried about just what kind of skills his son had learned without him knowing.

“That is one knight down, send in the next,” the boy spoke as he looked at his father, “unless i need to kill each one that is”

Even before he finished, someone came to take away the first knight to be looked at while the next one came out. The show has truly begun. The next knight had more armor than the last, but even he was deemed no match for the prince. The story is the same for all the knights that followed. The king kept sending in more with varying armors and weapons and skills, but the boy got through each one. He had taken some cuts and scrapes from all the fights, but no major wounds like what he had done to each knight that faced him. As it reached noon, the whole kingdom came to watch. There were people placing petty bets on if the prince would survive. The king had become very worried, what was he to do with the boy if he had killed all the knights? What would become of the kingdom if all their knights were severely injured by this one boy?

The boy was starting to get weaker. It could be soon in his movements, the way he held his sword looser and the way his body seem to slump while waiting for the next challenger instead of being ready to face them. He knew he couldn’t fight forever, but he was sure going to try. If he couldn’t defeat his tyrant father, then he would make sure someone else had a fighting chance. If he could get rid of even a tenth of the knights, then someone else may just be able to get rid of the king for good.

As the sun was getting lower in the sky, the king got increasingly worried. He had been getting updates on the numbers of knights still in fighting condition, and that was getting dangerously low by now. The boy continued on and so, even though he didn’t want to, the king kept sending out more knights to try and finish the boy off.

The twilight began to set in now. Many of the people who had been watching since the morning were starting to get tired. This has been going on all day, even the king was getting tired even as he worried about just how many knights this could take. That was until one knight finally managed to land a major hit on the prince. He had cut deep into his shoulder, a wound that matched what he had given the first knight. This last knight stopped after this hit, knowingly the king’s rule.

“Any last words?” the king asks his son as he starts to bleed out from his wounds.

“I should be asking you that,” the boy retorts as he takes his last breath.

As the boy laid on the arena ground the people wondered what he meant in his last words. That was, until they looked up at their king. While everyone was distracted watching the prince’s fight and while the knights were busy waiting for their chance to fight, the resistance group that the boy had formed snuck up to the throne and stabbed the king.

The monarchy was gone and only one question remained, where do we go from here?

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king’s knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It’s been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

[lcvenderblues]

indulgences 🕊

moodboard by @saradika 🤍

Matt's familiar with denying the self. His biggest indulgence? Visiting you (almost) every night. And that's one thing he refuses to give up.

pairing: matt murdock x fem! reader

warnings/tags: third person reader (she/her pronouns), descriptions of injuries and wound care (not overtly graphic), probable medical inaccuracies, hurt/comfort (kind of i think?), pining, touch-starvedness, religious themes, unresolved feelings, mdni/18+ blanket rule!

wc: 2.4k

a/n: first fic in a hot minute, first fic ever on fic tumblr! probably kind of rusty; it was born of a late night super self-indulgent drabble that i never planned to post but it kept growing and wouldn't leave me alone, so here we are lol. hope someone enjoys it, please tell me if you do :)

inspired by romantically tense period drama scenes involving hands and a very on the nose sleeping at last song.

She's used to the sound of him tapping at her window from the fire escape now. It's like she has a sixth sense for it.

She sighs as she lets him in. "No rest for the wicked?" He swings himself in and lands without missing a beat, and she gathers that it must have been one of the better nights, at least in terms of his physical wellbeing, although he's been known to function deceptively well even when severely injured. "Thought it'd be at least another day before I saw you again."

"Is my company that unbearable?" He quips, and exhales deeply from his lungs as he collapses hard onto the familiar couch, which remains eternally draped in towels at this point in an attempt to keep bloodstains at bay. Even on the easier nights, he finds himself weary by the end, a bone-deep exhaustion that never quite leaves him throughout the day.

"No, it's just that every time I see you, you happen to be mortally wounded. Now I kind of associate seeing you with the stress of trying to keep you alive." She's turned on the lamp on top of the end table, and is already pulling out the makeshift advanced first-aid kit she keeps stocked and stashed in the bottom drawer.

"I'm not always mortally wounded." He sounds almost affronted as he works the suit off of his body, anticipating when her hands join his to help him.

She makes a noise halfway between a laugh and a scoff- a gentle, good natured scoff. "You wouldn't come to me if it was something you could deal with yourself. You're too proud for that."

He doesn't have it in him to tell her that's not true in the slightest and hasn't been for weeks. Four nights out of five, he finds himself here seeking her out to fuss over wounds and injuries he'd barely give a second glance to on his own. Whatever pride he had left dies a slow death in the spaces where her hands touch his skin, even through the pierce of stitches or the sting of antiseptic.

"Some people might call that selfless," he says instead.

He can feel her wry smile from the kitchen sink where she fills a bowl with warm water, soaking a couple of washcloths. "Sure." Her soft, sock-padded footsteps come back towards him, stopping as she crouches in front of his spot on her couch. "Or maybe selfless is what got you hurt this bad in the first place."

She veers a little too close to the side of sincerity for his tastes. He's not sure what to do with praise if it's not sarcastic. "Maybe."

He still always has to brace for it a little bit, when she brings the cloth to his face. When it touches, he manages an exhale deep from his soul, and it's all he can do not to sigh and completely fall into her palm. Somehow the gentlest touch he'll feel all night, the one he craves most, is also the hardest to accept.

Some very pious part of him can't let him feel anything good without looking for something else to feel guilty about, and her words from earlier resurface in his head. "Do I really cause you that much stress?"

It's not the first time the thought's occurred to him. Even if she wasn't concerned for his overall wellbeing; he shows up at her window at ungodly hours of the night so often, she listens for him in her sleep. Sometimes he comes by so late, she doesn't bother going back to bed before she starts to get ready for work in the morning. He can't imagine she gets a lot of rest that way.

Her hand briefly pauses in its efforts to wipe the dirt from his face as she uses the extra brain power to think about the right thing to say. Then it continues, gentle as ever. The timbre of her voice comes in to match. "Having anyone's life in your hands is a pretty big responsibility. You'd know. Someone has to step up to it, though."

Maybe there's still a little bit of pride left, because despite the guilt he feels at the trouble he must cause her, he can't bear the thought of admitting his deception and never seeking out her help again. Or maybe he's just not as selfless as he lets her believe, and this nightly solace matters more to him than her peace of mind does. But realistically, that's long gone beyond recovery, and he'd probably only worry her more if he stopped coming by, or whatever the hell he needs to tell himself to be able to sleep at night, he doesn't care. As sure as the night is dark, he'll keep coming.

She switches to a new, clean cloth, paying attention to scratches and proper cuts alike; she takes her time with the slash on his right bicep, the one that'll probably need a couple stitches. He suppresses a sharp inhale as she moves down to the spot where a knife nicked his abdomen. It's barely a wound, relatively speaking. It's not bleeding anymore, and he doubts that much dirt made it through the hole in his shirt. But she cleans it dutifully, and he's got half a mind to call her out on it, tease her for using any excuse to feel up his abs, listen for the way her pulse might hitch and continue on a little faster than before- but he can't. His usual brand of charm feels inappropriate, here, like flirting in a church. He doubts he'd get the response he wanted, anyways. He's never heard her heart race for him before, not like awkward college crushes or the pretty women Foggy makes him talk to in bars. It doesn't lurch when he takes his shirt off; just maintains its steady, almost maddening rhythm, impossible for him to read into. It's enough to make him a little self-conscious.

Suddenly, her hands reach out to take one of his own in them, and he feels like he can't breathe. This isn't a usual part of their nightly ritual, and his heart catches in his throat for a moment before she starts wiping, ever so gently, at his raw knuckles.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Being thorough," she says, and he can hear the soft smile in her voice. "Big city lawyer with hands looking like this might raise some questions. I know you box, too, but still."

Her words trigger a sharp spike of some emotion he doesn't recognize. Whatever it is, he can't bring himself to say she doesn't have to. He just tries to control the shake in his exhale as she switches hands. "...Thank you."

"No need," she whispers.

He feels like he's told her too much for either of their own good, sometimes. She knows what his day job is, knows where he goes to mass on Sundays. She's one of few links between who he is during the day and during the night, and it's not like he's not in the habit of making enemies. But putting her in danger isn't even his biggest fear, truthfully. It's his inevitable ability to bring ruin to everything he gets too close to, and the fact that he is completely toeing the line with her. He never intended to open himself up as much as he has- but she seems to have a gift for evoking vulnerability in him, undoing him in a way he can't afford anywhere but within these four walls. This... thing, whatever it is, is something he refuses to mess up.

He doubts that it's really in jeopardy to begin with, though. He can't glean much of anything useful from her pulse, he's learned, and they never explicitly discuss the topic, but as far as he knows, she's just as content to keep any connection to him restricted to these nights in her living room. She's fine with just being the person who patches him up when he gets beat up a little too badly. He's fine with that too, of course. More than fine. His heart still stutters a bit whenever she mentions anything from his 'real' life, though, a stark reminder that the world exists outside of these moments, and he does, too, and maybe if that's all he was... things might be different. Then again, if he'd never put on the mask, they probably never would have met in the first place. And he'd rather have this than nothing.

The cloth leaves his skin finally, and just like that, the most self gratifying part of his night is over. The sound of the threading needle is the prelude to all the pinches and stings that accompany all of her following touches. He doesn't mind, though. It allows him to refrain from looking for some other discomfort to balance them out. Unlike his liquor, he can't take good feelings neat.

Yet when the first stitch makes him wince hard, he wonders if he's gone soft, losing his tolerance. The thought occurs to him that it's the result of these nightly visits, of him seeking her out to play nurse and dote on him needlessly. He mentally bats it away with a stick.

"Sorry," she murmurs at his reaction, but continues with a steady hand, and he steels himself and focuses on his breathing. "Almost done." He's suddenly very glad his arm's the only place that needs sewing. However, if she's noticed his newly-developed sensitivity, she has the grace not to comment any further, just finishes her stitches and reaches for the antibiotic cream.

He turns out to be wrong about the self gratification being over for the night. She's finishing up with the bandages, and he's already silently mourning the end of their time together, so he freezes when she takes his hand again and applies some salve to the back, gently working it in with her fingers and taking extra care around his raw knuckles. She'd never done that before, either.

She must have noticed his stillness. "Being thorough," she reiterates with another small smile. "Winter's on its way. Last thing you need is dry, cracked hands."

All he can manage is another shaky sigh as his eyes fall shut reflexively. Had touch always felt like this? His heightened senses did make sensory experiences more intense for him, but he can't remember a handshake ever having made him feel like keeling over. Not even holding hands... but when was the last time he'd done that with anyone?

She finishes with his right hand, and he's so far gone, he's afraid he might actually whine at the loss, before she continues with his left. He can hear his own pulse thrumming in his ears, hers a steady grounding beat in the background. He's pretty sure he shouldn't be losing his mind over a hand massage, but he has little say over his body's response to the way her soft fingers curl underneath his while her thumb strokes the back of his hand ever so tenderly. He doesn't remember the last time someone touched him like this... scratch that, he doesn't think anyone's ever touched him like this.

She finally lets go, and he's not sure how long it's been since his brain all but checked out. The incessant assault on his senses is gone; he's tuned it out. He can barely feel anything except the cold left in her hand's wake, can barely hear anything over the sound of his own heart, still thrumming even after she's done. He can just barely make her out in front of him, a vague warmth of presence crouched beside him, her ever-consistent pulse, but nothing else, not what she's doing. He doesn't know what to expect next.

Then her hand comes up to cup his face.

He's sure his heart is trying to escape the cage of his chest now. All he hears is the roar in his ears, all he feels is the hand on his cheek, the other thumb that dabs salve onto the split in his lip. He thinks he might die like this; this might be the last thing he ever feels. He's okay with that.

But God only has so much mercy, and He must have run out, because she pulls away and he's still alive to feel it.

His senses come back to him one by one, dulled. He feels the fabric of his underwear against his skin first, the towel-covered couch underneath him, the temperature of the air, her warmth in front of him as she rises up to her full height, the clinical scent of salve and antiseptic, the bitterness of his suddenly dry mouth and the tinge of copper in the air, and lastly, the sound of his heart tapering down, hers keeping time as it becomes audible again, his own heavy breathing, and her voice, faintly.

"...Maybe you should stay put for the night. I can wake you up early enough to go home, shower and get changed before you go in tomorrow." A tinge of concern seems to color her tone, but he's fairly certain she remains mostly unaware of how the last couple minutes have bordered on transcendental for him. He vaguely registers her laying a clean hoodie and pair of sweatpants in his lap.

Even in his befuddled mind, he knows he'll never find any sleep laying on her couch, not after... all of that. He doubts he'll be able to sleep at all anywhere, but his own bed's his best chance. It's far away enough he won't still have to listen to her breathing in her sleep, her heart beating, while she still remains just out of reach. He manages a shake of his head, hoping she's looking at him to see it. He's still too out of it to be able to actually tell.

"...Just give me a couple minutes. I'll... I'll head home after..."

He's not sure if he's actually sensing it, but he knows she's smiling at his stubbornness. "If you insist. Assuming you won't be passed out on my couch in fifteen minutes. In which case I'm not waking you up, I'm just giving you a blanket."

If he didn't know better, he'd almost think she wanted him to stay- not because of her concern for his well-being, not for her peace of mind, but simply... for him to be there. But he couldn't even read her when he could hear her heart properly, and had all his faculties about him, so he wasn't about to try now.

He slips out of her window quietly about ten minutes later, head still spinning a little. When he gets home, he lays awake almost all night, reliving her touch over and over again in his mind, his own fingers ghosting over the back of his hand.

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Six

The temptation to be reckless

Word Count: 7,422

I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life—some that most people would gawk at for being almost twenty. I chose to be with my soulmate at just eighteen. Well, he kind of chose me first. I chose to move across the country to attend a fancy school, something very few have done in my community. Well, I guess the school kind of chose me, but I did everything to get there at least. I chose my friends, the best people I could find, and I chose to be a part of my found family that is this pack. But, thinking about it now, I might have just been at the right place at the right time. Becks saw me sitting alone in second grade and asked if I wanted to draw butterflies with her. Keye tripped over my extended foot in middle school and called me an asshole. And the pack…they didn’t really have a choice whether to accept me or not and I guess neither did I. The choices I’ve made don’t really feel like choices at all—is that bad? 

“Jacob’s running you ragged,” Maya said softly, threading her hands through Paul’s messy hair and rubbing her nails gently across his scalp. She had no idea when the last time he had a haircut was. Paul was looking at her through half lids and dark bags hung prominently beneath his warm brown eyes. She ran her index finger lightly across his lids and he closed them completely, breathing out a sigh of contentment. 

“He’s panicked right now. If it were you, and I thought some bloodsuckers were coming to town specifically for you, I’d be crazy too. Probably worse actually,” he said in a muffled voice, his face half pressed into the pillow, eyes closed. Both of his arms were slotted underneath the pillow to cradle his head, making his biceps look massive in the low light.  

“Probably worse,” Maya echoed with a small smile as she leaned to kiss his shoulder, tracing absently across his face as his breath evened out again. She frowned. After months of being apart, they were now sidelined to this—Paul being too tired to do much of anything. 

This had been the cycle of the past two weeks: Paul would be out running rounds for 12+ hours, come home and snag a couple of hours of sleep, wake up and do it all again. Or, squeeze in some work and shuffle Maya to and from Becks’ or Keye’s or her parent’s house. They’d barely spoken, they’d barely touched, and their sex life had become non-existent. Paul was wound so tight by the frantic mood permeating the pack with the impending return of the Cullens that he could focus on little else. 

And Maya had tried. Oh, she had tried. She’d snuck into the shower only to have him chuckle gently, kiss the top of her head, and step out, having finished washing off quickly to get some sleep. She’d reached over the center console and stroked his thigh as they made their way to Becks, but he’d grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. She’d made him dinner and made up the table, only to watch him scarf it down over the sink and promptly pass out on the couch. He had been stuck in a one-track mind for two weeks straight and she was getting tired of it. 

Maya hoped this intense game of running rounds for an enemy that might not even be coming wouldn’t last much longer. She was hoping beyond hope they would still be allowed to get off the reservation, just for a week together to get some distance, like Paul had promised. But as the time ticked on with no indication or mention of it, that hope was slowly fading. She’d even asked Michael if Paul had mentioned scheduling plane tickets to somewhere, but he said Paul was holding off on any travel until further notice—not even to Seattle.

“Paul?” Maya said barely above a whisper. He grunted in response and she leaned across his broad shoulder to connect her lips to his. He responded half heartedly, opening his mouth and letting his tongue glide across her lower lip. Maya's heart rate picked up from sheer anticipation but then, he stopped. His breathing evened out and when Maya slowly pulled back she realized he was out. He’d fallen asleep on her—mid-kiss. She smoothed her finger over his eyebrow and before laying her head down to watch him sleep a little while. 

------

Maya shut the passenger side door to her Jeep with a little more force than usual. Paul clicked the key fob to lock it before coming around the front of the car and setting his hand on her lower back to steer her toward the front door. 

She felt like she was two. Being dropped off and picked up from a friend’s house day after day when she didn’t want to stay home. But it was the only thing Paul felt comfortable with—her at home, at parent’s house, or Becks’. She wasn’t even allowed to run errands alone. 

Maya was trying. She understood the stress the pack was under, saw it on their faces and in how they clutched their imprints. The last time the Cullens had been here, it had nearly ended in a war with an ancient vampire coven. One that would have surely ended in a lot of casualties. She understood why they were on edge, but she was still frustrated and struggling to hide it as the days ticked on, constantly under watch. 

Paul opened the door for her to Becks and Jacob’s home and as usual there was a buzz of activity within. At least here there was always someone to talk to. Still, she immediately felt Paul tense up beside her and she glanced up at him. His jaw ticked and his grip slipped to her waist to tug her closer. He always did this—as soon as the possibility of leaving her loomed closer, he’d hold onto her a little tighter. If Maya was being honest, it was the most action she’d gotten in two weeks. Her hand went to cover his on her waist and she placed the other on his jaw, attempting to smooth the tightness there. He glanced down at her as they walked into the kitchen that opened into the spacious, high-windowed living room before leaning down and giving her a soft peck. 

“Finally,” Jacob said distantly as he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Paul. Becks was already laid up on the large U-shaped couch, her feet propped up on the plush ottoman as Embry stood off to the side fiddling with the remote. Guess he’s on guard duty today, Maya thought. Jacob always stationed at least one member of the pack at the house, but that didn’t stop him from checking in with Becks every couple of hours via phone to see how she was feeling. Becks had admitted it was a little intense, but she had conceded to quell Jacob’s anxiety. 

“I think it’s best to just go with it for now,” Becks had said. And Maya had nodded—she’d go with it, too. For now. 

“Who’s out on rounds?” Paul said curiously, not quite letting go of Maya yet. She didn’t protest and leaned into his side more, reveling in the pleasing squeeze he gave her waist in response. Jacob leaned down from behind the couch to kiss the side of Becks’ face as she munched on some cereal. 

“Quil, Jeremy, and Seth. Sam tapped in last night to help, too,” Jacob grabbed the oversized Stanley cup and crossed to the kitchen to fill it up with water for Becks. Maya raised an eyebrow. It was out of character for Sam to run rounds now after Emily had had her fourth. Plus, he was, for lack of a better term, retired. 

“Sam?” Paul asked, voicing Maya’s confusion. 

“You want ice, honey?” Jacob asked Becks before he looked toward Paul. 

“Yes please!” she replied. 

“He tapped in to help when Becks wasn’t feeling well last night,” Jacob confirmed as he walked back over and deposited the cup next to Becks. He leaned down again to kiss the top of her head, resting his hand gently on top of her belly and stroking his thumb back and forth for a second. “I’ll check-in in a bit,” he said lowly. Becks turned her face up to briefly peck his lips and cup his jaw. Jacob gave her that warm, sunny smile and leaned forward to kiss her again. 

“Okay, good luck out there,” she said nonchalantly. Maya could tell she was over this sentinel watch as well. 

“You ready?” Jacob said, standing straight and looking toward Paul. 

“Sure thing,” he replied noncommittally. Maya looked up at him, a wanton look of boredom on her face. Paul gave her an amused grin as his eyes roamed her face, “Stay put. If you want to go home before I come to get you tonight, ask Embry to take you.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Maya said to his same old tired spiel. He chuckled and kissed her forehead. Maya tilted her head up and he softly kissed her before abruptly letting her go and jogging toward the door after Jacob. She felt winded. 

From the open front door, Maya watched as they discarded their shirts and ran off toward the treeline before crossing the short distance to the couch and plopping down next to Becks with a great sigh. Becks set her bowl of cereal down and looked over at Maya. 

“Oh, it can’t be as bad as that,” she joked alluding to Maya’s sigh. Maya leaned her head back on the headrest of the couch and stared at the ceiling. 

“How much longer do you think they’re going to keep this up?” she asked seriously. 

“What do you mean?” Becks said, wiping some crumbs off her round belly. 

“These never-ending rounds, the supervised visits, the house arrest,” Maya crossed her arms. 

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to be letting up like I thought he would,” Becks said a little forlornly. “I barely see him right now.” 

“Tell me about it. I haven’t gotten laid in two weeks and have a perpetually exhausted boyfriend. I’m starting to think we’re not getting out of here for my birthday, as planned,” she said. 

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Embry said not too unkindly. Maya pulled her head up and grimaced at Embry who was flipping through the channels to find something for them to watch. It wasn’t his fault, she knew that, but Maya was getting to the end of her rope pretty quick. Becks’ phone chimed next to her and she leaned awkwardly to grab it. 

“Already?” Maya said. “Sorry,” she amended grumpily. Becks shot her a warm smile and waved her off. 

“It’s fine. I feel partially responsible for your lockdown, so I understand why you’re not your usual bright and shiny self,” she was typing a reply to Jacob and quickly closed her phone before turning her body with great effort to face Maya. “What’s all this about no sex?” 

Maya groaned, “He’s so fucking tired and when he is awake he’s almost avoiding me? Not exactly avoiding me, I guess, but you saw,” Maya motioned toward the front door, “All sweet and love-y and then boom. Gone.” 

“Hmmm,” Becks said, seriously considering it, “He’s clearly stressed. Even when you’re standing right next to him he’s glancing at you every five seconds like you’re going to disappear,” she said. Maya looked at her confused. 

“I feel invisible to him right now,” she quipped. 

Becks shrugged, “Just saying. He’s hyper aware of you. With being as cooped up as you have been, he’s probably thinking you’re going to bolt.” Maya sucked in a sharp breath and tried to keep her face even. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been thinking about planning some kind of escape. Even just a small outing to Port Angeles for a couple of hours. “You’re not planning on bolting are you?” Becks teased. Maya rolled her eyes and hopped off the couch to go grab a drink.

“How could I? Someone’s always watching and I wouldn’t be able to step a foot outside the rez without one of the wolves sounding the alarm,” she popped open the fridge and dug around for a sparkling water, “Do you want anything?” 

“Umm, some carrots and hummus maybe?” 

“Didn’t that give you insane heartburn last week?” Embry raised an eyebrow. 

“Shut up,” Becks said quickly. “How are the intern applications going?” Becks quickly changed the subject to avoid some squabble with Embry and to hopefully lift Maya’s spirits no doubt, but Maya just winced. 

“I brought my laptop over to keep working on some, but I don’t know…” 

“You don’t know? Maya Sunriviere doesn’t know?” Becks let out a small, quiet laugh. Maya arranged some carrots around the tub of fancy organic hummus and started slicing some cucumbers. 

“It’s not that easy. An internship is going to consume my entire life here. I might not be able to come home for summer or any breaks. It’s a shit ton of work and I…I’m trying to balance. Paul and I feel out of sync for most of the year and an internship would just drive the wedge deeper.” Maya had been struggling with her internship applications. Technically they weren’t due until the end of the year, but with her impending workload and some of the early reviewal boards asking for applications, not to mention the urging of her professors, Maya couldn’t put it off. 

She and Paul had barely found a rhythm and now with the expectation that she should take on an internship next summer leading into her junior year, it all felt like too much. In her field, an internship was expected to gain real life experience, network, and get in good with a company she’d ultimately sidle up to a job for. 

“Is Paul still planning on renting a spot in the city for you two at least?” Becks said as Maya came over with the plate of veggies and hummus and took a sip of her sparkling water. 

“I think so, we haven’t really gotten to talk about anything since this happened,” Maya plopped down next to her and snagged a cucumber. “Can you talk to Jacob again? See if he’ll just let up a little bit? I really need to get out of here—with Paul, preferably.” 

It was Becks’ turn to frown as she dipped a carrot in hummus and sighed, “I can try, but it didn’t go so hot the last time. He’s usually pretty reasonable, but this Cullen stuff has really got him spooked. He’s not telling me the whole story, that’s for sure,” at this she glared at Embry who was seated in the cushy armchair by the fireplace. 

“Hey, don’t look at me,” he said as he watched The Princess Bride opening credits roll. Outside, the thunder roiled overhead, dampening Maya’s mood even further. “I was a third party observer when the Cullens lived here. You know more than you think.”

“Work on those applications,” Becks admonished. “For the both of us, please.” She said that last part with a gentle smile and Maya gave another resigned sigh before grabbing her bag and yanking her laptop free. 

------

Maya had the distinct feeling of being lifted from the couch. It had been hours. At some point in the night she had drifted off after Becks had gone up to bed following their movie marathon. Embry had left to run the small perimeter outside of the house and the low light of the outdoor flickering garden lamps had been enough to lull her to sleep. 

Low voices carried in and out of her consciousness and she felt cradled against a searing chest. She leaned into it, already knowing who the chest belonged to and the warm broad arms that encircled her. Maya was so tired and so very warm, opening her eyes and walking on her own was the furthest thing from her mind. The voices were at least trying to keep their volume low in the interest of the sleeping household, but Maya distinctly heard Paul’s warm tone rumbling through his chest where her ear was pressed. 

“—do this anymore,” he had said, “There’s been no sign of them and it’s been over two weeks. Have you tried just calling Bella? Or Charlie?” Maya’s interest piqued at that. They were talking about the Cullens. Jacob’s voice was harder to hear but she did hear him say: 

“It’s not that simple and you know that. Just take a couple days off if it’s causing a problem,” Paul’s arms shifted underneath her slightly and she heard him sigh. So, he was just as tired of running rounds as she was. He was trying to convince Jacob to loosen his hold on the pack just a little bit and relax, for everyone’s sake. It brought Maya some relief, but still, it didn’t seem like he was listening. 

“I’ll see you in a couple days then,” Paul conceded. 

But Maya could hear a disgruntled tone laced in with his hesitant compliance. He shifted her backpack onto one of his shoulders and carried her out to the car without further conversation and when he placed her gently in the passenger seat, leaning over her to buckle her in, Maya opened her eyes and smiled at him sleepily. “Hey there, Sleeping Beauty,” he said warmly, sweeping a hand gently across her face and pushing some loose waves away from her cheeks. His thumb and forefinger landed beneath her chin and he held her there for a moment before leaning in tentatively for a soft, excruciatingly tantalizing kiss that sent Maya’s heart thumping. 

She grasped onto his wrist, hoping to hold him there for just a bit longer as she arched her body up and leaned into the kiss. She was so hungry—for his touch, his mouth, everything. And when he responded ever so slightly, pressing his mouth more forcefully down upon hers and letting his long fingers cup her jaw, she couldn’t stop a small moan from escaping her throat. He was holding her face to his, giving her what she had been so desperate for for the past two weeks and they were quickly reaching a crescendo, their panting evident by their rising heart beats, pulsing in time together as the heat began to pool between her legs. But all too quickly, he pulled back as if tempering himself.

She looked at him in disappointment and confusion when he pulled back. 

“Let’s go home, yeah?” He shut the passenger door and jogged to the driver’s side before quickly getting them on the dirt road and heading home. “How was your night?” he tried nonchalantly. 

“Mmm, mmm,” Maya protested weakly, “How was your night?” Paul shook his head. 

“Fine, Jacob’s getting a little out of hand with these rounds,” he glanced over at her then, “I know it hasn’t been the most fun. For either of us.” 

Maya reached across the console and grabbed one of his hands from the steering wheel, “Becks is gonna try to work on him, but she’s not hopeful. Maybe once the baby is here he can take a step back from the pack and you can sub in for a bit.” 

“That’s the plan,” he said somewhat dismissively. 

“I know that’s not what you want,” she leaned her head back on the headrest and watched the lamplights splash across his face as he navigated them down the wet main road. He shrugged and Maya turned her head to look out the windshield. 

“At least we’ll get the next couple of days together, uninterrupted,” he promised. 

“At least there’s that,” Maya said unconvincingly. This couldn’t last forever—this terse and unending suspension of an impending visit—could it? Someone had to make the first move and something told Maya that it wouldn’t be Jacob making that decision. If they could just figure out what it was the Cullens wanted, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as Jacob was making it out to be. They weren’t violent on all accounts, but their sudden interest in Jacob’s life so soon after he had left them did seem a bit suspicious. Was it just Bella reaching out? Was there another motive? Maya was tired of the unanswered questions and she was tired of not having her life for the very limited amount of time that she was here during the summer with Paul. 

So maybe it was time to get some answers.

------

Maya woke up in just her panties and the fitted white t-shirt she was wearing yesterday. She was honestly more disappointed that she wasn’t entirely naked. But Paul had ushered her up to bed and promptly fallen asleep with her wrapped up onto his chest before she could even try to bring her peppering of kisses up to his lips. 

She leaned up to see Paul still deep in sleep. She reached across him to tap his phone awake—9:34 a.m. It was the latest either of them had slept in in weeks and Maya groaned with happiness as she settled back onto Paul’s bare chest, letting her eyes slip closed for another moment. Just the sheer thought of getting laid had her aching already and she couldn’t help the involuntary buck her hips gave as she felt Paul stir next to her. Maya’s lips were pressed to his neck making her way across his chest and up his throat to his chin before finally landing softly on his lips. 

He left out a soft groan of appreciation and tightened his grip on her hip. “Good morning,” he said around her lips. Maya couldn’t help from giggling, the feeling of excitement thrumming between her legs, the voice in her head yelling Finally! Finally! 

“Good morning,” Maya replied into Paul’s mouth, refusing to break the kiss as her hand coasted down his chest and slipped beneath the waistband of his sleep pants. 

“Uh, haha,” he responded, twisting somewhat away from her but not enough that she couldn’t take the length of him in her hand and sigh with satisfaction. “Are you hungry?” he said almost in a rushed tone. 

“You could say that,” Maya said mischievously as she started to pump his hardening length and pressed her lips back to his. He gave another short laugh and then pushed himself up into a sitting position, taking Maya with him and pulling her hand from his pants. 

“I’ll make us some breakfast,” he braced her shoulders to still her and then kissed her nose. Maya watched incredulously as he slipped off the bed and was out the door and down the stairs. 

“Paul!” Maya called out in disbelief. But she was only met with the clattering of pots and pans below. 

What the hell was happening? That was definitely a brush off and she could see absolutely no reason for it. He wasn’t still mad at her about the Noah thing was he? No, he’d said as much. So why was he shirking her advances? Maya sat in stunned silence for too long before getting up and padding her way downstairs, determined. 

“Paul.” She said again, this time more forcefully as she rounded into the kitchen. He was busy whisking eggs and mixing in flour for some pancakes. 

“Hey babe, can you grab the blueberries from the fridge?” He said distractedly. 

“Paul!” she said with more vigor. He glanced over his shoulder at her and gave her a confused look. 

“What?” 

“What do you mean ‘What’?! What the hell was that upstairs?” she was annoyed to say the least and that was clear in her tone. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He brushed her off again and Maya bristled. Was this some kind of game? 

“Bullshit! What the hell is going on?” She crossed the short distance in the kitchen to stand next to him. 

“Maya, what? It’s nothing, and you’ve totally pushed me off before, too. It’s not a big deal,” he dismissed. Maya’s mouth hung open in shock. “Can you grab the blueberries please? Your pancakes will be ready in just a second.” 

“I don’t want pancakes!” Maya felt very much like she was on the edge of some sort of tantrum but this was absurd. Her boyfriend wouldn’t have sex with her and she had no idea why and wouldn’t talk to her. “I want you.” She tried. 

“Okay,” he said gently. “But can you get the blueberries first?” He gave her a soft look, a small smile quirked his lips to one side. 

Maya let out a frustrated sound and stomped over to the fridge. Paul chuckled under his breath at her tantrum and when she slammed the blueberry package down on the counter he was quick to amend. 

“Maya, okay. I’m sorry, babe. That was clearly an advance upstairs, but I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now okay? It’s not personal,” he tried to placate her with his somewhat amused tone but something didn’t quite ring true. Maya narrowed her eyes and shook her head. 

“It sure feels personal,” she grumbled before she turned swiftly on her heel and headed to the downstairs bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and quickly locked it but she didn’t need to. Paul didn’t come after her. 

She leaned against the door and groaned in frustration. Why did she feel driven to insane lengths just to seduce her boyfriend? And even when he gave her a legitimate reason as to why he wasn’t feeling it at the moment, she couldn’t accept it?  Maya felt like an idiot. But still, there was something nagging at her as if Paul wasn’t telling her the whole truth. He felt awkward, stand-offish, and very unlike himself to her. She wondered if the constant stress of these rounds was really getting to him or if it was something else.

She should be patient. Maya crossed the short cool stone to turn on the oversized tub and quickly undressed. She twisted her hair up into a heavy duty clip and once the steaming water filled the majority of the tub, she slipped into the water. Taking some deep, calming breaths, Maya tried to convince herself to relax. If they did have a couple of days together, she needed to make the most of it. Whatever was bothering Paul, she decided she wasn’t even going to dig to figure it out right now. He had said he had a lot on his mind, and she just needed to leave it at that. Maya squeezed her eyes tighter together in annoyance. 

She could leave him be, but the thrumming between her legs was incessant. Paul hadn’t touched her in weeks and she realized now she didn’t take too well to being denied. 

Patience. 

Another deep breath in and out and…the tension in her shoulders still hung tight as she tried to think relaxing thoughts. La Push beach at sunset. The warmth of Emily’s living room filled with laughter. Sleeping next to Paul on a lazy afternoon as rain fell gently outside leaving a foggy mist behind. Maya felt her hand rest softly on her belly as she tried to focus on her breathing. She tried to pull more relaxing thoughts from her subconscious: The short and winding drive on the outskirts of the reservation. Paul’s warm broad hand gripping her thigh as the sun set. His warm, radiant smile that sent shivers down her spine. The feeling of his soft breath dancing across her neck and shoulder as he teased her. His whispers in her ear from behind as he cupped her breast, her mound, tugging her by her waist to press her body tight against him. Maya’s mouth fell open involuntarily in a soft sigh. The warm water lulled her further into a dreamy state and before she knew it, her hand had nestled itself between her legs. 

Arching her back as if on instinct, Maya let her fingers slip delicately between her folds, the warmth of the tub already offering her slick purchase. She swirled her fingers around her clit, stroking down to her opening and letting one, then two fingers slip inside of her. Maya bit her lip as she thought of Paul’s strong arms wrapped around her as he thrust above her, watching her come apart for him. Maya whined, the feeling of her own digits not enough to satiate her after having Paul for so long. The last time she had touched herself, she had been tucked away in her dorm room, her wet center illuminated by the soft glow of her laptop as she listened to Paul tell her what to do: “Just like that, baby. Show me.” He had said while pumping his hand around his thick cock on the other side of the screen. 

Now, she was home and not 20 feet away from her sat Paul. Her hand ached with how quickly she was stroking herself. Her other hand tugged at one taut nipple and she bucked her hips causing a gentle sloshing of water around her. Another louder moan escaped her lips and she felt herself nearly there. With another too loud whine that echoed around her, Maya felt her center flood with heat, the tension in her shoulders ebbing. She panted quietly as she regained her thoughts, the ache temporarily dispelled. But it wasn’t enough. Not by a long shot. 

“Fuck,” Maya said before submerging her head underneath the water. 

After spending far too long getting pruney in the tub and brushing out her thick hair, Maya wrapped herself in a towel and padded into the kitchen. Paul was sitting on the couch, his laptop perched in his lap as he answered emails. He didn’t even look up when Maya came out. She crossed to the counter where a semi warm stack of pancakes was waiting for her and plopped two onto a plate. Leaning against the counter, she watched him carefully, only able to see his determined profile as he typed away quickly. 

Maya ate slowly, watching the faint tic of his jaw as he concentrated on the screen before him. Once she finished her pancakes, she placed her plate in the sink and crossed slowly over to him. She should be patient, she knew. But he was holding something back and he had promised there would be no secrets between them. When she came to stand in front of him, it didn’t surprise her at all when he didn’t immediately look up. 

But when he did, Maya sucked some residual blueberry juice off of her thumb, her eyes glued to him. 

“Hey,” he said cautiously, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Hi,” she said gently. Maya loosened the towel around her and let it drop to the floor. His eyes fell instantly to take in her naked form. Maya was thrilled when she could already see that dark, lusty look come over him. 

“Maya, what—” he stated, a look of lusty confusion on his face. She reached into his lap and took the laptop, shutting it and tossing it gently aside onto the couch next to them. Then, Maya straddled him across his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips hungrily to his before he had another second to protest. 

He responded almost instantly, those warm arms wrapping tightly around her and hugging her frame to him. Paul’s hands dropped to her hips, his thumbs found the soft press where her thigh creased at her hips and he held tightly there. Her mouth opened for him and he slid his tongue across hers, the familiar taste of him flooding her mouth and sending a gentle thrum of contentedness to her brain. 

As he pulled her hips closer to his, Maya began to grind softly over his clothed crotch. Paul let loose a groan that sent a thrill through Maya. It didn’t take him long before his hands drifted to each globe of her ass to help her grind more firmly on him. 

She let one hand slide slowly down his chest and made quick work unfastening his jeans and slipping her hand inside. She felt the satisfying weight of him in her palm and when she closed her hand tightly around him, he jerked upward involuntarily, bucking her. 

“Maya,” he said between gritted teeth as she started to pump him, running her thumb across his silky tip and spreading the warm bead of moisture there for her. 

Maya pulled back from their heady kiss to watch his face transform. He was awestruck, enamored, but mostly he looked desperate for her. She grinned wickedly, pulling him free of his jeans and pressed his tip to her opening, letting her slick mix with his as he let out a guttural growl. Paul was gripping her ass hard, trying to tug her down onto him and she wouldn’t last much longer in her game of teasing him. Maya leaned up quickly before sinking down slowly onto his shaft and they groaned together as he sheathed himself within her. Pitching forward, she pressed her forehead to his and gripped the back of his neck. Maya began to roll her hips on him only managing to lift up halfway before he was slamming her back down onto his lap. 

Her pants were coming fast and heavy now as her thighs burned with the delicious effort of bouncing on him. “Please. Please. Please Paul,” she begged—she didn’t even know what for at that moment, but Paul clearly knew. His mouth formed a pleasing “O” shape as he watched her full tits brush against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and jerked to a standing position, holding her up. 

“Fuck, My,” he gasped before he pitched forward onto his knees and laid her across the soft, plush living room rug. “You think I couldn’t hear you in there? Touching yourself?” He pounded into her now at this angle, pulling her thigh up and spreading her open wider. Maya’s eyes rolled back into her head, “You drive me fucking crazy, Maya.” He grunted as he braced himself with one arm and pressed her thigh open with the other. He angled his hips just so and Maya arched off of the carpet with a loud whine. Paul dipped his head immediately to bite and suck at her exposed neck and shoulder, rutting faster into her. 

Maya was a woman possessed. Her heart hammered in her chest and she raked her nails down his shoulder blades as she skyrocketed toward release. She was incoherently babbling his name, and their slick, sweat covered bodies rubbed warmly against one another. 

Maya heard his grunts turn into painfully sweet moans as he pushed toward his release and his rhythm began to stutter. With another sweet gasp, watching his face dissolve into pure bliss, Maya crested her high and let herself snap. She shuddered, her thighs shaking as she came around him. Maya felt him twitch within her, stuffing her full. 

As he came down too, he collapsed a little on top of her, but still braced himself up on his arm to keep most of his weight off of her. He panted softly against the side of her face, planting lazy kisses along her cheek and jaw. Maya held onto the back of his neck and turned her face to kiss him again, this time fully sated. 

“Was that so bad?” she teased tracing her finger along the line of his stubble. He laughed, light filling his eyes as he shook his head slowly. 

“You’re gonna kill me, you know that?” Maya nodded seriously and then burst into giggles as Paul buried his face into her neck with a groan. 

-------

For the rest of the day, Maya and Paul spent time tangled up in one another. She felt some of his tension release, but she could tell he was still holding something back. At some point in the late afternoon, Maya had dozed off, her naked body splayed across the bed. And when she woke, Paul wasn’t there. Downstairs, she heard soft sounds coming from the kitchen. 

When she made her way down, dressed only in Paul’s oversized t-shirt, she noticed he was fully dressed and stacking things into a picnic basket. 

“What’s this?” Maya said curiously as she came around him to peer into the basket. 

“We’re going on a romantic getaway,” Paul said. Maya immediately lit up, sucking in a breath. Maybe they were leaving after all, “Down to La Push beach.” He continued stuffing the basket with food, wine, fancy cheese, and Maya’s favorite dark chocolate pretzels. She tried not to deflate too much when he mentioned La Push beach. 

“Okay,” she said softly, giving him a small smile. 

“Go get ready,” he patted her hip and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. Despite the close locale, he seemed pretty excited and Maya wasn’t going to squash that. 

Ten minutes later, Maya was dressed in a short white fitted sundress that fanned out gently around her thighs. She walked hand in hand with Paul down to the beach and watched with pink tinged cheeks as he spread out the blanket for them to sit on. 

The sun was slowly setting and the waves rolled gently on the shore. The pebbled beach glittered in the summer light and Maya breathed a sigh of relief. 

They dug into the picnic and Maya laughed as Paul joked with her about a recent client call he had. Things were easy between them again and she internally let out a sigh of relief. Her Paul was grinning from ear to ear and throwing his head back in laughter. It was the most relaxed she’d seen him in weeks and her heart stuttered with excitement at seeing him so pleased. As Paul poured her the remainder of the wine, she decided to take a chance. 

“So, I was thinking. If we can’t go too far from the rez, maybe we could do a quick trip to Victoria? Michael said the tickets were reasonable and we both have our passports and the dock has a more relaxed checkpoint. We could be in and out in four days,” Maya sipped her wine and watched as Paul looked out over the ocean. 

“Maya,” he began slowly, letting his gaze fall down to the blanket. 

“Oh, come on Paul! I know you think these extra rounds are ridiculous. And once Becks has the baby, you really think he’s going to let up enough for us to get out of here? They can manage for a few days without you,” Maya pleaded. Paul looked at her sadly and shook his head. 

“It’s just…not a good time right now, babe,” he dismissed. “I’m sorry.”

“What does that mean?” Maya quipped. “Nothing has happened, Paul. Nothing! They might not even be coming and I’m convinced that they don’t actually mean Becks or Jacob any harm. If they did, why wouldn’t they just ambush them? Instead of sending a note announcing their arrival? That’s a piss poor murder plot,” she coaxed. 

“You don’t understand how these…people,” he struggled, “Work, Maya. It doesn’t matter if they tell us they're coming, it’s still enough of a threat even with the heads up.” 

“So, we’re just trapped here all summer in this cycle of you being too stressed out to fucking touch me and me banging my head against a wall in boredom,” She was irked now. Paul grimaced. “It’s fucking infuriating, Paul.” 

“Don’t, Maya.” He said firmly. 

“Don’t what?” her voice raised slightly and his disgruntled look careening toward irritation pushed her over the edge. 

He just sat silently and stared at her, but she could sense his anger at her or the situation bubbling just under the surface at something unsaid. Maya couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Guess we’re back to square one,” she snipped, her irritation flipping to anger.

“Jesus, My, come on,” Paul groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Just work with me here.”

“That’s all I do, Paul! My life is you and this place when I’m not at school. And now I can’t even have that. What am I supposed to say?” she shouted. Paul grimaced and shook his head looking out over the ocean, “I’ve been accommodating since I got here. I’ve been maintaining the house, Becks’ house, organizing shit for everyone else to do once the baby gets here, trying to take care of you and have meals ready… And I’ve been very patient..with you.”  

“I wanted this to go differently,” he said quietly, trying to keep his cool as he rubbed his hand against his thigh. But he wouldn’t meet Maya’s eyes. 

“What do you mean?” Maya’s eyes narrowed, her voice piqued in cloaked suspicion. 

���Let’s just go. I don’t want to do this here,” He said with disappointment, ending the conversation. He stood and held his hand out to her. But Maya wasn’t having it. 

She was frustrated as she fought tears that were threatening to break free, shoving the remnants of their picnic back in the basket. 

“Maya, just leave it baby, I’ll come get it later,” Paul grasped her arm and she shook him off harshly. Oh, he did not like that. “Maya!” he snapped. She jerked into a standing position and glared at him. 

“Don’t be a dick. I’m allowed to be upset that I can’t have just one normal moment with you while I’m home. It’s not fair, Paul and you know it. This bullshit Jacob is pulling is way off base and you won’t even acknowledge it. You won’t even talk to me about it. So, go run and tell your alpha that you don’t need time off since you’re not really here anyway,” Maya said angrily as she turned to head back up the path toward home, slinging the picnic basket over her shoulder and the bundled up blanket in her arms. 

Paul didn’t immediately follow. Instead he stayed on the beach, hands on top of his head as he felt himself boil with anger, fatigue, and everything he wanted to say but couldn’t.  

----

Maya’s phone buzzed gently around 2 a.m. She was on alert however, her emotions running high. After her argument with Paul on the beach, she had gone upstairs and locked the bedroom door. She was feeling trapped and restless—a nasty combination. She didn’t hear Paul come back into the house so she assumed he had taken her advice and returned to Jacob. Fine. 

Still, she secretly hoped he would call and relieve some of the mounting anxiety that had filled her for most of the night before she fell into a fitful sleep. Without even looking at the caller I.D., Maya groggily answered her phone: “Paul?” 

“Maya,” it was Becks, but she was speaking just above a whisper. 

“Becks? You okay?” Maya sat up in bed and swung her legs out from under the covers, “Is the baby coming?” 

“No, not yet,” she said quickly. There was a long pause, so much so that Maya raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay? What’s wrong?” her anxiety was starting to increase as she waited with bated breath. 

“I…I need your help with something,” she said cryptically. 

“What’s going on? Are you in trouble?” Maya was up on her feet, already across the room to her dresser to pull on some pants. She could call Paul on the way. 

“No, no nothing like that,” she said quickly. 

“Then what’s with the spy voice?” Maya said with a tinge of annoyance, stopping her frantic dressing. 

“I don’t want Seth to overhear. He’s patrolling the perimeter right now, but you can’t be too careful.” Maya understood that. 

“Becks, are you sure you’re okay? You’re kind of freaking me out,” Maya pulled on her pants anyway and tied her hair up in a ponytail. 

“Maya, I need to know that you’ll help me with this and not tell anyone. Not Keye, not Paul, and especially not Jacob,” Becks warned. Maya rolled her eyes. As if she’d tell Jacob anything at this point. 

“Fine, yes, I promise,” she responded quickly, “So, what is it?” 

“I need you to get me to Forks.” 

“Why? What’s in Forks?” Maya said slowly, dreading the answer she knew was coming. 

“Bella Cullen.” 

Next > >

(Edited on 7/19/22)

[stariwrites]

Please

Pairing: Sukuna x GN! Reader (The reader is AFAB)

Warnings: Dubious Consent, Oral (Reader! Receiving), Mind break, edging, denied orgasm, monsterfucking, corruption kink, dirty talk, mean dom to soft dom Sukuna, use of little one and little sorcerer as well as pet (only twice though), forced submission just to be safe 

A/N: I had so much fun writing this and this is for @seita “Corrupt a Virgin Collab!” Thank you so much for letting me participate! All characters are 18+  and as always Minors DNI and if you do or if you’re a nameless blog I will block you instantly. 

Word Count: 2.6K

Summary: Megumi, Itadori, Nobara, Gojo, Nanami...I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to keep my promise and protect all of you. 

Debris settled over the city. You coughed, cringing at the blood that spilled from your lips at the hit you had taken. You looked around you, watching as more buildings collapsed, people screamed causing it to echo. You couldn’t find anybody no matter where you looked. Your heart raced inside your chest. 

How much longer would you be able to pull this off? Ever since Sukuna and Itadori had been separated he caused nothing but destruction. 

You watched the curse you were currently fighting rush towards you. It’s green spindles shot out only for you to dodge it in the nick of time. The wall where you had been standing in front of was nothing but a hole. You cringed. That could’ve been you.

Before you had time to recover it focused it’s sights on you again, the eight purple eyes stared directly into yours. You tried to get up again only to be met by an explosion of pain. You glanced down at your hand nursing the wound on your stomach only to see crimson seep through your fingers. Shit. 

It let out a wicked shriek, leaving your ears ringing. It charged at you again. You closed your eyes. 

Megumi, Itadori, Nobara, Gojo, Nanami...I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to keep my promise and protect all of you. 

“Protect me?” Gojo’s voice was incredulous as he tossed his head back and laughed. It had been a busy day filled with killing curses and saving people, but at the end of it all of you were able to spend time together and watch the fireworks. “I’m the strongest there is, if anything it would be me protecting you.” 

Nanami huffed at his response, proceeding to whack him upside the head. He whined, turning to Nanami no doubt to start playfully fighting him which would end in Nanami sighing in disappointment.

You could only shake your head at the two of them while Nobara scoffed, nudging your arm with a grin. “Yeah, and besides we’re all going to get stronger so we don’t need to be protected.”

Megumi nodded with a small smile which caused you to huff.

“It’s not like that!” You clenched your fists beside you, before lowering your voice. “It’s just that all of you are precious to me and I’ll do whatever it takes to not see you hurt.”

They were all speechless at your response until Itadori’s face lit up into a bright smile. “Let's do it!” He cheered, jumping into the air. “We’ll be the best group of sorcerers out there you’ll see! Let’s all protect each other.”

The six of you looked at each other with matching soft expressions, a silent agreement that you’d all make it to the very end when the first explosion fired off. Itadori shrieked at the unexpected boom that echoed in the sky causing your laughter to break the silence between each firework. 

You smiled looking back on the memory. It was fun. The people you met, the friends you gained, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. As you anticipated the final blow one last thought flashed through your mind. You had no regrets.

An explosion of light flooded from behind your eyelids, you braced for impact but none came. Slowly, you cracked an eye open only to have your breathing hitch. Standing where the cursed spirit used to be was-

“Sukuna,” your own voice surprised you. The demon turned to you with an unamused expression.

“Think you can just die like that?” He sneered approaching you. “You fool.” 

You tried to get up, all your senses screaming to fight but you only managed to straighten your posture before wincing in pain. Broken ribs, you assumed, if not worse. “What do you want?” You managed to croak out. 

Standing above you, his eyes were filled with venom. You swallowed silently wishing the destroyed cursed spirit had taken you out. You refused to break away from his gaze while his hand moved to cup your cheek. You flinched from his touch expecting him to rip your skin away with the swipe of his talons, but instead he clicked his tongue at the action.

“Make no mistake little one, If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead.” His voice sent shivers down your spine, but your body relaxed at the words. You wanted to shake your head. How could that even be remotely comforting?

You couldn’t dwell on it for long because the next thing you knew you could breathe properly again. You took a deep breath in, almost choking on it. You removed your hand from your stomach only to gape in shock. 

“You,” you looked up at the demon with wide eyes. “You healed me?”

He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t stand the way humans interacted nor did he want to. He craved the chaos he created and only wanted to see more of it, but one sorcerer managed to get under his skin, you. 

You were an enigma, your cursed energy was strong, that was for certain and as obsessed as he was with Megumi there was something about you that drew him to you. Maybe it was the way he could tell you were a virgin. You had so much experience but none with another person’s touch. He thought many times about you being tied up and at his mercy while he edged you for hours causing you to cry out pleas along with his name. 

Unfortunately there was no time to act on what he wanted with him still being inside the brat, but now, now was the perfect time. 

“Why?” The question left your mouth before you could stop it. He wanted to laugh at your perplexed expression paying close attention to your lips. You didn’t realize it, but you backed yourself into a corner. 

“Oh Little Sorcerer,” he crooned mockingly. A sinister smile stretched across his face reminding you just who you were dealing with. 

Squatting down to your level, he let his eyes rove over your body, paying close attention to where your uniform was torn and wrinkled. Instinctively, you covered yourself to the best of your ability which only made him lick his lips.

“You didn’t think I did that without a price,” his voice dropped an octave, “did you?”

Your heart stuttered in your chest while you gasped. There was no way, but noticing the hunger in those eyes that held a predatory gleam you understood what he meant. You couldn’t-

“Get away from them!” Megumi shouted. His footsteps raced towards where you were. Itadori and Nobara were fast at his heels shouting for you. A ghost of a smile fell onto your face. They were okay. From what you saw the only wounds were some scratches and bruises. They would be okay. The relief quickly faded when a talon turned your chin to make you look at him once more.

His teeth were on full display. “Let’s make a contract, shall we? I won’t hurt your friends as long as you do what I want in my domain.”

You raised an eyebrow skeptically. “And what would that be?”

“I get to ruin you.”

You knew you could stall, could buy time until they could help you, but the more you waited the more people screamed.

“So little one, what will it be?” Sukuna’s voice rang heavy in your ears. You could either go with him or more people would be hurt. You purse your lips, you had two choices: either allow Sukuna to take you and buy your friends some time or wait for them and risk more people dying. 

With a deep breath you faced the demon. “If I go with you, you promise that no person, that includes jujutsu sorcerers and civilians will be harmed?”

“Of course.”

Part of you didn’t trust him, but you mulled over the deal, searching for any loopholes. Megumi, Itadori and Nobara were getting closer. 

“Time’s running out, have you made a decision?”

You looked at your friends one last time as they screamed in horror running faster. With a final breath you focused back on the king of curses. 

“I accept.”

                                   ------------------------------------------------------------

“Such a pretty little thing aren’t you?”

Obscene sounds echoed throughout the domain as you grinded against Sukuna’s tongue that resided on his abdomen. Small whimpers and broken moans spilled from your lips. Tears slid down your face while the appendage was lapping at your folds, flicking at your clit every now and again. Each grind down had your toes curling. You tossed your head back.

“Shut, ah, shut up!” You tried to shout, but it held no mirth to it. 

Sukuna smirked at your reaction. Still so fiery even after he edged you, you were a fun one that was for certain. 

He’d envisioned this moment many times before, but nothing beat the real thing. He kept your arms stretched above you with one of his hands while the other he used to cup your cheek. He lived for your expression, the way your eyelashes were grouped together with tears as you were forced to keep taking what he was giving you, completely at his mercy.

“What’s wrong little sorcerer,” he snarled. “Can’t take my tongue?” He couldn’t help but grow addicted to the breathy pants you let out as you clamped down at his words. His eyes widened, peering at you with an expression that almost looked impressed. 

“Who knew you could be such a slutty pet. Nobody’s ever touched you like this before and you’re already so fucked out, I wonder what will happen when you cum, hm?”

“Fu-fuck you,” you managed to get out between moans. You refused to give into him, wishing you had more strength in you to glare. You needed to put up a fight. 

He raised an eyebrow with a laugh. “Brat,” he dug his nails into your hips, there would be indents there for days, but he didn’t care. “You try to put up such a front, wouldn’t it feel better to give in rather than fight me? You’re so wet and you’ve been so good, so pliant for me are you sure you don’t want a reward?

The familiar coil in your stomach was about to break causing you to thrash your head back and forth. The burn was becoming painful, you didn’t know how much longer you’d last if he kept denying you. Sukuna noticed, forcing your hips to grind faster. 

“Oh? Is the little sorcerer close? Tell me, do you want to know what it’s like to cum from somebody other than you, hm?” He hummed keeping the brutal pace, watching as you heaved for breath, your eyes glossy and almost rolling back. A twisted grin morphed onto his face at the sight. 

“Don’t tell me I’ve fucked you dumb already,” he bit his lip to keep from groaning out into the domain. The reflection of the water only made you look more wrecked. “Tell me, is this what you’re going to look like when you're stretched out on my cock?”

The image alone had your toes curling. You couldn’t fight it anymore. You needed release. “M’close. M’so close. M’gonna cum. Gonna ngh gonna cum Sukuna. Sukuna,” you babbled, slurring your words.

You were almost there all you needed was one more extra push. 

Before you had time to process what was happening your hips stilled. A loud sob ripped it’s way from your throat. You couldn’t handle being denied anymore. All you could do was struggle in his hold and curse the king in front of you for torturing you like this. That’s when it registered, he was going to kill you like this. That must’ve been his plan all along.

You were about to speak, to tell him to just kill you already when he leaned closer towards you. His lips ghosted against yours. Without thinking you leaned in, desperate to feel his lips against yours, but before you could he pulled away and gazed at you.

You could see your reflection in his eyes, the way you were drooling for him, you were a mess, your eyes glossy from crying, you didn’t recognize the person staring back at you. You couldn’t remember how many times he edged you, but it was unbearable. 

“Beg me.”

Your breath caught in your throat even though you’d been expecting that. Part of you, the desperate want that curled itself into your skin and set your heart aflame wanted to cave in. Wanted so badly to finally get the release you’ve been craving all this time, but rationally you looked at the demon and whispered, “I, I can’t.”

As soon as the words were out you wanted to take them back, disappointment swam within you. You wanted to know what it was like, but the sorcerer in you couldn’t yield. You reminded yourself that you were doing this for them, but that would’ve been a lie.

 You expected Sukuna to tear you to shreds or leave you like this but instead he shushed you.

Your eyes snapped open, not even remembering when you closed them. He only rubbed your back with one of the hands that was on your hip while the other hand holding your arms set them down.

“Such a brave sorcerer, aren’t you? Even when you’re so desperate you still hold so much strength, but don’t you want to be ruined? Don’t you wish you would just be able to let go and have somebody else take the reins?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft like he was talking to something fragile, something that could break. 

“I-”

You couldn’t deny that it sounded nice, to be out of control for once, to just let yourself be ruined by Sukuna. You craved release so bad it hurt. You shuddered against him at the thought of finally being able to lose yourself in pleasure while the cool air of the domain caught up to you.

Without hesitation, Sukuna embraced you in his arms, bringing you close to his chest. You imagined that if he was human, you’d be able to hear his heart beat pressed against him like this. He caressed any inch of your body his hands could reach as he placed a chaste kiss to your temple. You settled in the warmth.

“Shh, just let me take care of you little one,” he squeezed you close before placing two set of his hands on your shoulders to pull you back. It took everything in him not to smile. He had you, he knew he had you judging by the way your face was going from conflicted to completely lax. 

“I’ll ruin you for anybody else,” the hands on your shoulders dropped down to barely touch your waist, tickling you. He began to kiss down your jaw, moving to your neck. “You could rule by my side and stay with me in this space forever, you wouldn’t have to worry about curses,” he sucked a mark causing you to whimper. “Or saving people,” his other hands moved to play with your nipples. “Or those pesky sorcerers.” 

Your mind was reeling, unable to concentrate on any coherent thought. The difference from being so rough to being soft was messing with your head. You were losing yourself, but still tried so desperately to hang on, to not give in. You had friends you needed to protect, but all of that was fading away. 

Sukuna noticed and as he sucked on your earlobe, he used the hands tickling you to meet your hips, positioning you over his cock. “All you have to say is-”

“Please.”

[anaveragebibliophile]

All For Him

Young!Legolas x Thranduil x Wife!Reader 

Summary: Lord Elrond comes to Mirkwood to ask a favor of his oldest friend, Thranduil. However, the stoic, unyielding king isn’t as willing to follow through on the request because of the danger it will put his family in. 

Honestly, when you stumbled into your husband’s study that morning, you didn’t expect to feel so puzzled and flabbergasted. You didn’t anticipate Thran’s summons to be anything more than a request for information about Legolas (which you were happy to provide), a question regarding supper, or an idea for date night. So the last person you expected to see was Lord Elrond, the ruler of Rivendell, arguing with his trusted confidant and friend of many eons near the balcony. 

“Thran, what’s going on? Is everything alright?” you queried as you stepped into the room, incisors biting into your lower lip. 

“Queen (y/n), what a pleasant surprise,” Lord Elrond replied, consequently ending the argument, as he walked over to take your wrist and place a chaste, respectful kiss on the back of your hand. “My sincerest apologies for not seeking you out sooner.” 

“That’s quite alright, Elrond. You know that. I too wish I had known you were here earlier, but I unfortunately got sidelined. We took a short walk in the gardens this morning, all three of us, when Legolas ended up tripping on a very small rock. Thranduil and I tried to utilize the open--and what we thought was a safe--space as a way for him to grow more comfortable walking without our help. That strategy worked well for us. Until today. None of us had seen the ant-sized pebble roll over his tiny heel, making him lose his balance and unknowingly place his hand on a grounded bee’s stinger to stabilize himself.” 

“My goodness! How is he doing?”

“As well as can be expected. As he got himself up, he whimpered a little bit which isn’t normally like him. Even if he takes a tumble, he’ll usually still maintain his normal demeanor--sweet, timid, and smiley. But once we saw his palm start to swell up, we knew something was wrong. Thran rushed him to the healer, who was more than willing to keep an eye on him. Ever since then, he’s been given herbs to reduce the swelling and irritation at the site of the wound as well as water to keep him hydrated. Thank you for asking.”

Once you finished sharing that traumatizing experience, you looked over to your husband, whose face was devoid of color. Out of the two of you, he had been the most panicked over Legolas’ well-being. ‘Is he breathing?’ he’d asked. ‘What if he has a reaction to the toxins?’ he’d wondered. ‘What if we didn’t get him to the healer’s quarters in time?’ he’d said, voice cracking under all the emotions. Unfortunately, the man is an aggressive worrier who feels the most stress when he’s involved in a situation that’s completely out of his control. His son inadvertently getting stung by a bee? Yeah, definitely an event that drove your husband up a wall. 

“He’s doing fine, Thran. He and I cuddled in his rocking chair for about twenty minutes before he fell asleep. Before that though, he did want me to tell you that he loves you,” I said, trying to soothe him as best as I could given the circumstances. 

Even though Legolas is still quite young and not fluent in Sindarin yet, he does have a few sentences that he likes to use every now and again. His favorite though is ‘gi melin’, the Sindarian version of ‘I love you’. Anytime he’s reunited with you or Thran, he’ll smile so wide (with his one tooth showing itself off) and almost shout the words out (as if you won’t hear him clearly without that extra pizzaz). Both you and your husband agree that it’s probably the sweetest thing your little leaf has ever done (and Legolas is the epitome of sweet). 

“I love him too. More than life. Which is why I cannot allow Sauron’s ring and its company to enter Mirkwood. I am sorry, Elrond, but my answer is final. You will not be able to change my mind on the subject,” your husband said. 

“Sauron’s ring? So young Frodo is alive then, is he not? I heard about your daughter saving him from the hands of the Nazgûl but wasn’t sure of its veracity,” you mentioned.  

“Yes. He is recovered and wishes to continue on the quest to destroy the ring at Mount Doom. However, we are trying to avoid the company’s traveling in the open at night and are looking for places for them to seek refuge. I am trying to convince Thranduil to offer his kingdom, but it seems that that has been more difficult than I originally presumed. He fears for your safety and Legolas’ too much.” 

Speaking of Legolas, a soft knock on the door soon presented you with the little leaf in the arms of his nanny, Elva. 

“Legolas, darling, what are you doing up so early?” I asked, my lips perking up into a small grin. 

“Ada, Nana!” he blubbered, pointing to us. “Gi melin, gi melin, gi melin.”

“I apologize, Your Majesties. As you can see, the prince woke up a bit early from his nap. All of the maids attempted to keep him occupied in his chambers, but it was no use. He only wanted to see his nostairi (parents),” Elva explained. 

“That is quite alright, Elva. I have not seen enough of him today. Thank you for bringing him to us,” your husband responded, moving over as Legolas reached out for him, and, once in his arms, began snuggling into his chest. “Hello, iôn nîn. I hope you slept well.”

“How’s his hand, Thran?” 

Your husband took your question as an opportunity to lightly pull Legolas’ right arm out from where it was hiding in front of his stomach. “It is still a tad swollen but not too severe.” 

You let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear.” 

“Nana, gi melin,” your son whispered behind your husband’s robes. 

“Oh, my sweet boy,” you responded, lightly running your fingers through his hair and down his back. 

Watching the interaction ensue, Thranduil softly smiled down at the two loves of his life. The first one--his wife--who taught him the beauty behind exuding kindness, positivity, and light. The one who guided him back to the meaning of life. And the second one--his son--who embodies all the genuine goodness that his wife bestowed upon him in their early years together. He’ll never know how he got so lucky, but that unknown answer will never prevent him from being grateful. 

“Ada, gi melin,” your son quietly hummed as he lifted himself up to kiss Thran’s cheek. 

“Iôn nîn, gi melin as well. Very much.”

But then the unthinkable happened. Your little leaf turned his body away from Thranduil to look at Elrond. “Gi melin!” he shouted, a smile creeping up his face (with his lone tooth on display). 

“Well, I cannot say I am not shocked,” the lord responded, just as confounded as the rest of the group. Although Legolas was a very empathetic elfling, the reality was that he only shared that sentence with two people: his parents. So his sharing that sentiment with another-- a person he doesn’t spend every day with, let alone see once a month--was very odd, yet exciting in its own way. In your mind, maybe this was a sign that he was feeling more comfortable around his parents’ trusted friends. Maybe he saw the camaraderie in the room and felt soothed by it. Maybe he was no longer experiencing such debilitating episodes of timidity.   

“It appears he has taken a strong liking to you, Elrond,” you responded. “And now that you know the depth of his affections, are you truly going to permit an evil, dark presence permeating Mirkwood’s halls?”

He pondered that question in no time at all before saying, “No. I will not be the one to put this child at risk. Perhaps Frodo and his company can stay a few extra days at Rivendell. It really is not a problem.” 

At that declaration, you and Thranduil humbly nodded (hiding your smiles as best you could because this was a serious matter after all). “Thank you, my friend. Your concern for our son is much appreciated and will never be forgotten.”

“I know you would have done the same for me had I been in your shoes. Legolas deserves to be safe and comforted in his own kingdom without his parents having to worry about whether the ring will wreak havoc and harm him in the process. Besides, I want to return to Mirkwood in a few months’ time and still be on his list of love.” And everyone, including Legolas, giggled at that. 

[erensrag]

bimbo!reader x judgmental nerd eren

eren x y/n (wc: 3173)

warnings: nswf, slut shaming, slight dubious consent

i don’t think i did this correctly….

"no please, take your time. it's not like we've been here for hours." eren's sharp voice brings you out of your thoughts.

his piercing gaze is right there to meet yours when you finally stop staring at the wall. you chew on your pencil, quickly diverting your attention to the paper in front of you. you've done your best to avoid looking at him the majority of the time you've been here.

it's not your fault you can't look into his eyes for longer than a second. he's the one who's always observing you with that cold, calculating stare. you've been on the end of judgmental looks and not so quiet whispers for years now and have learned to not let them bother you—well you thought you mastered the art of simply ignoring those kinds of people. until eren.

you didn't even know he existed until a few weeks ago. the introduction for you two consisted of a simple bumping into each other in the crowded hallways of school, it ended with him bitterly muttering something about idiot cheerleaders as he stumbled away. not even sparing you a second glance. after that, you saw him often and he made his dislike for you evidently clear.

which makes no sense. how can someone not like you?

it's usually jealous girls giving you the stink eye and making up the ridiculous rumors. they're the ones who don't want to associate themselves with you. not nerdy nobodies who can't walk without stumbling over their own two feet. no, people like him usually worship the ground you walk on. or at least drool a little.

seriously you've tried everything to get rid of that menacing stare and frigid tone he always greets you with. it's like he's immune. "jesus y/n, how dumb are you?"

and they definitely don't talk to you like that. you know you're not the brightest, which is why your teacher got this jerk of a nerd to tutor you right before exam week but is that really an excuse for him to treat you like this? biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge a corner of your sweater until your left shoulder is exposed. leaning forward and batting your eyelashes which gets no response from him other than a blank stare. "i'm not dumb. i just don't get it." you pout. "can't you just tell me the answer? we've spent like thirty minutes on this question."

"thirty minutes cause you're an idiot." he mutters more to himself.

"i'm trying my best!"

"you should've learned this months ago. you would've if you didn't spend your time skipping class to hang out with your pig muscle boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend..." you go back to chewing on the pencil.

"so you just make out with any guy behind the bleachers?"

"you seem to know a lot about me." you look at him again, that stupid cold stare looking back at you through those glasses.

"who doesn't. you're y/n. the whole school knows of your...activities."

"those are just rumors." some of them are. most are true. you enjoy living life to the fullest. it's not your fault the people in your school saw a confident, attractive woman and instantly decided to put less than appealing labels on her. "and besides they're none of your business."

"whatever. just solve this, this is taking longer than our usual sessions and my mom will be home soon."

you groan, looking down at the textbooks and not understanding a single word. “please just tell me the answers.” you ask one last time, desperate.

“no.”

you huff, returning your attention to the book. “you’re going to age badly with all that scowling you do. just so you know.”

“shut up.”

"eren..." you say after five minutes which causes a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. "do you have an issue with me?" it's been four sessions of the frigid tension he always puts between you two and there's a lot more to come before graduation so you just want to get whatever problems he has with you out of the way.

it takes a few seconds before he's looking up from the textbook, pushing his glasses up as he sends you probably the most intimidating glare you've seen from him. "excuse me?" the very tone of his voice has goosebumps forming on your skin but you force yourself to stand your ground. you're not going to let some loser who's probably never even kissed someone to look down on you.

"you— you just seem to—"

"i don't have an issue with you y/n." he slams the book on the table causing you to jump. "having an issue with someone like you would imply i care enough and trust me i'll never care for such a ditzy little slut who doesn't respect herself."

you've been called worse than that and usually by scorned boys you hooked up with. but they were popular gym rats, not some overconfident lanky freak. you had a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but with the cogs in your brain suddenly malfunctioning, you could only stutter out a pathetic, "i—i'm none of those things!"

"really?" he scoffs, actually getting up and walking over and as he does you think maybe it would've been a safer option to just keep your mouth shut. "wide doe eyes without nothing behind them. check." he starts. "plump lips perfect for what you do best. check." and the asshole has the nerve to slowly swipe his fingers across your bottom lip.

you should stand up, tell him to go to hell and get out of here but you're frozen. limbs not moving an inch as he continues, "empty little head. check. skimpy outfits to attract attention. check. i mean let's face the facts.."

you never would've thought the loser that always sits in the back of the class with his nose buried deep in a book would speak like this to you. it's insulting. freaking degrading. he knows nothing about you and yet he has that expression on his face like he does. "if i'm such a ditzy little slut as you so nicely put then i'd be jumping at the chance to hook up with you but here we are." you seethe.

that seems to finally strike a nerve as he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. you cut him off before he can defend himself.

"is that it...you're angry i haven't made a move on you because that's what sluts do isn't it? bone everything they see? is your pride wounded that i don't see you in that way, eren?" you let out a mirthless laugh. "well news flash, pretty girls like me don't go for freaks like you."

you got up, ready to grab your things and run out all while trying to ignore the nerves inside of you. he just stands there, rigid and glaring. "really?" he asks once your books are back in your bag.

"y—yes. now if you'll excuse me—" your wrist is being grabbed before you can take another step and for a second both of you are stunned, you mostly frozen in your spot because this creep has the audacity to touch you after everything he just said. you don't know what his excuse is but he only stands there like a shocked puppy before pushing you on the desk.

a gasp escapes your lips at being manhandled by him  of all people, what the fuck is he doing? you're on your stomach, feet on the ground as the fucker puts a hand on your back, keeping you there. "w-what are you doing?" you pant out, bewildered at everything that just happened.

"i..." he trails off, not saying anything before manhandling you again. only this time it's for you to lay on your back and fuck, you could fight back. he's surprisingly strong for such a lanky freak but you're a cheerleader who does complex moves out on the field almost every day. you could kick him off, slam that big textbook in his face to the point his nose breaks and run out, making sure to report him.

but you don't. it's not that you can't. for some reason, you just don't want to. maybe it's curiosity, to see what exactly he plans on doing. to see if a loser like him actually has the balls to do anything but back away and apologize profusely.

"you're not fighting back." he simply says, sounding a bit confused as he comes to lean over your body. his hands on either side of your head as he stares down, those stupid piercing eyes staring down at you. "why?"

"shouldn't i be the one asking the questions here? like why the fuck you have me on this desk?"

he raises an eyebrow, leaning back and grabbing your thighs causing you to squeal in surprise. he spreads them, raising the dress you’re wearing until it's pooling at your stomach before you can even blink.

shit. what's wrong with him?

what's wrong with you? you should be kicking at him, you could easily shove him off. you could do it in a blink of an eye so why the hell aren't you.

where there's supposed to be fear...there's only anticipation. "you really are a slut." he laughs cruelly, pulling your panties down until they're completely off. where he throws them, you don't know. probably in some corner to hide so you forget about them, who knows what a pervert like him would do with it?

"you barely know me and yet...look at this." you shudder as his finger circles your clit before swiping across your cunt, bringing his hand up to show you your slick as if for emphasis.

"shut up." you grit through your teeth. "you're—" you don't have time to finish your insult before he's kneeling down, tongue immediately latching onto your clit.

your nails instantly scrape against the desk, shuddering as he begins to suckle on your clit. his tongue delves into you, fingers digging into your thighs on purpose as if the freak wants to hurt you. you can play that game too if he wants, fingers going to grab at the strands of his dark hair, pulling as you ground your hips against his annoyingly experienced tongue.

usually, your sexual partners don't willingly choose to eat you out but here is he. practically eager to get to business. he acted so high and mighty and still has the gall to continue doing so yet he's the one on his knees right now. freaking nerds are so easy. even overly judgmental ones with sharp gazes.

he’s basically lapping at you, moving from sucking your clit to eagerly drinking up your juices. never coming up for air as if he was made to simply do this. "f—fuck." you didn't want to make any noises, any implications that what he's doing is actually making you feel good but dammit it's hard when a tongue is diving deep into your most sensitive parts.

a particular bite has you instantly bringing your legs together but he quickly grabs them, forcing them apart to shove his face in between your thighs again. your breath catches in your throat as he licks up your dripping pussy. he doesn’t relent even once and the moans won’t stop escaping your lips, “sl—slow down. gonna…dammit.”

his tongue licks…freaking everywhere. the obscene noises causing you to hang your head back, he’s licking and sucking everything up as if it’s his favorite meal.

and it’s embarrassing. how fast you come. but how can not you? you mercilessly pull at his hair and shamelessly moan when you do. somehow you're the sweating and panting one as he stands up. "so that's what all the hype is about?" he tsk, seemingly bored.

it takes a few seconds for you to find the breath to say “don't act like you didn't enjoy that, with the way you were eagerly—”

"shut up." he takes his glasses off, putting them to the side before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

"you're disgusting, you know? the nerve you have—"

"i spent the last two hours teaching you simple biology and somehow you couldn't do one question by yourself, if i'm testy that's all on you.

"it's not my fault." it comes out as a whine and you hate it, you were supposed to be insulting him. at least have some pride when you're about to be fucked by the guy who looks at you like you're nothing but a dirty piece of gum.

"shut up, for crying out loud. shut up." his voice is raspy as he unbuckles the belt to his revolting khakis.

you can't help as your eyes widen once his cock is in view. for such a nerd, he's actually packing. one hand holds your hips as the other guides his dick towards your leaking area and slight panic starts to take over. "a-aren't you gonna prep?" as orgasmic as that oral job was, you doubt just that will be enough to prepare you for that.

he grins, probably the first smile you've ever seen on his annoyingly handsome face. "don't worry, i'm sure a slut like you has a loose enough cunt."

"you little shit! that's—" your words get caught in your throat, back arching as he moves his hips forward, piercing inside of you. "fuck."

a broken sound leaves your lips as he continues to push his length in. it doesn't hurt like you expected it to but there's still a strong ache that you know will leave you limping tomorrow morning. it burns, burns so good you have to squeeze your eyes shut. you need something to hold onto as he starts to move, anything to give you some sort of balance but the flat surface underneath you offers no help. "ngh...eren..." you're not sure what you want to say but he doesn't give you time to think of something before he sets a rhythm.

it's surprisingly slow at first, like he wants you to feel every vein on his cock and you do. your walls desperately clench around him as you bite on your bottom lip, the room suddenly feeling too hot as his fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. into that stupid gaze he won't stop staring at you with. his mouth is slightly open but no sound comes out. he's perfectly collected and you hate it. people like him should be cumming the second you touch them but he's...it's annoying.

his pace starts to speed up—he doesn't even give it another second before he's ramming inside of you. holding your hips with both hands as he sets a brutal pace that has you moving up and down the desk. "p-pretty decent for a nerd—ah!"

still, he stays silent. ugh, what's wrong with him? you bring your arm up to your mouth, muffling the moans spilling out of your lips in spite but his hands are immediately pulling them off. he chuckles, coming close enough that his breath fans against your face and a lewd moan comes out of you as he hits an even deeper spot. "don't do that, we all know this is what you want. to be fucked hard and fast to the point you're nothing but a mindless whore whose only purpose is to scream in pleasure."

you don't respond, biting down hard on your lips. his thrusts became more aggressive as he scoffs, "fine." his hand finds its way to your throat, squeezing slightly.

you suck in a shuddering breath just as his hold tightens, bordering on dangerous but for some reason the lack of air only makes your pussy throb, clenching tight around him. why does it feel good? why does everything he's doing to you only make you want more? his thrusts have now gotten erratic, almost forcing your body off the desk but the hold on your hips and throat keep you right where you are. you want to let out the moan clawing out from inside your throat but his grip stays, merciless as he pounds into you.

you don't know how much of this you can take, everything feels too hot. it's too much. "fuck look at you, didn't think you could look even more dumb." he pants, staring down. he finally removes his hand from your throat and you cry out the second he does.

"eren, please i'm—fuck...too much, it's too much." you gasp even though a sick part of you knows you could do this all night.

but right now...with the way his voice is dripping with cockiness— you hate it, hate the way he looks at you and talks to you. it's infuriating and too much. a tsk comes out of his mouth, "who knew you had a limit?" he rolls his eyes and in the next second, he's spilling inside of you. spilling and spilling until some drip on the floor.

like he's been holding himself back all this time.

fuck. he could've at least let you release a second time. you didn't think the asshole would be finishing right after you said that. you're panting, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he pulls out. he zips up his stupid ugly looking khakis as he steps back. "can you get off my desk now?"

the nerve of him...ugh. you slowly sit up, dress sticking to your skin due to the sweat and you have to refrain from asking to use his shower before leaving.

he gets you your bag and you slowly take it, throat aching and dry. there'll definitely be bruises around your throat and hips tomorrow and you're sure he's secretly delighted at that fact. "uh...." you trail off.

this is usually the part where they ask for your number, pleading for a second night with that desperate look in their eyes but he doesn't even send you another glance as he gathers up the papers on the desk, putting them into a binder. "make sure to study before sleeping tonight...if your body can handle that." his lips slightly curve up at that last part but he's not bragging, no just mocking you.

"o...okay." you lick your dry lips, suddenly needing a mint. "uh...bye?" you stand up too fast, cursing at yourself for it but his arm is around your hips before you can fall.

you bite the inside of your cheek, the proximity too close even though he was just inside of you a minute ago. he sighs, "do you need a ride home?" he asks grudgingly.

and you should say no. you don't need to be in an enclosed space with this asswipe for another second. just say no and walk into class the next day, demanding for another tutor. and then you'll never have to talk to him ever again.

but instead a weak nod comes out.

[purecantarella]

Revamped Rhapsody

double update? who is she? HAHAHA but for real i wanted to release these two at the same time to sort of compensate for being gone for a week. i hope you all enjoy this one too! im nayeon x idol!reader disclaimer/s : i had fun writing some good good angst

Words were important to you, it was a part of your passion and your work. Language was something that you'd adored since you were younger but the premise that you always found it a little odd how words could be twisted to mean or imply different things, just on tone and situation alone.

You wouldn't know or understand it was when you were permitted to write your own songs in your company. The blend of different meanings and people made you find a deeper understanding for the words and lyrics of songs. Then when you met Im Nayeon, the only person who could fill your mind and heart with a rhythm that followed the way you fell in love with her.

It began when you met after you entered the practice room she reserved by mistake.

You tapped away at your phone, your bag hanging lazily over your shoulder as you pushed in the door of the practice room. A familiar song that wasn't yours blasted through the speakers. Your head slowly raised as you saw the eldest member of TWICE staring intently at herself as she danced. You'd watched live performances and met once or twice backstage very briefly, but it was a different sensation to see her in her zone. No cameras and no expectations.

'She has a good form...' You thought to yourself, in an awestruck daze. Just as you were about to retreat to find the right room, a sharp thud and a small squeal sliced right past the blaring music from the speakers. You hastily turned around to see the vocalist on the floor, holding her leg.

"Oh gosh, are you okay?" You asked dropping your bag and sliding to her side. When she got over the initial shock, she recognized you. Her celebrity crush. The vocalist blushed and nodded quickly. The sparkle in her eyes as she gave you her iconic bunny smile made your stomach turn in the best way. "Y-Yeah, I'm good!"

A smile graced your lips as you saw the usually confident extrovert awkwardly fidget with her fingers. "You wanna get up or is this whole floor thing a part of your routine?" You joked to which she laughed, shoving your shoulder gently.

"Oh gee thanks, jerk!" You chuckled before getting up and offering your hand to the shorter woman. Once she took it, you pulled her up slowly, making sure she wouldn't tumble over. "Is your leg okay?" Nayeon nodded quickly.

For a second, there's a silence and a pause. You two just staring at each other like you had for years. Like you knew each other in a much deeper way than just idols who shared the same company. There's a point where she thinks that you might just lean in but nothing comes of the inkling.

"Uh, well I should go. Leave you to it..." You rushed as you took your bag from the ground. Turning to face Nayeon then the door then back to Nayeon. "Uh, I'll see you around?" You asked, readjusting the strap on your shoulder.

"I'll be counting on it." You grinned as you left, the lead vocalist running through your head the entire time you were practicing for your latest comeback.

Brushing past each other in the hallway of the company building became more frequent, on some occasion you both even ate lunch together rather than with her group and your managers or other friends. You both became a little more than smitten with each other and wound up dating a couple months after you first met.

Im Nayeon became your inspiration for working hard, to build to become the person you know she deserves. Of course, she thinks you're pretty great. She was your muse, she just hadn't put all the pieces together yet.

When your latest song dropped, of course she listened to it immediately. Then as she listened to the lyrics that you wrote, the way you described the perfect girl for you, how you began to fall in love with this girl, it clicked in her head. Nayeon rushed out of the TWICE's practice room, making the girls look at her with either a smirk or a look of genuine concern.

She sprinted across the building to reach you in your practice room. As the door flung open, your body shifted to the side, immediately smiling as you saw your girlfriend. "Nayeonie, hey what's u—" She pressed her lips to yours, cutting you off in a passionate meeting much to the dismay of your managers who sat behind you both.

Jumping into your arms, you placed your hands under her thighs as you pulled away. The dopey yet confused smile on your face made her giggle again as she placed a series of kisses over your face.

"You wrote a song for me..." You smiled even wider and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Of course I did, Nayeonie..." You paused for a second before adding, "I love you."

The smile on her face mirrored your wide and bright one as she kissed you again. Deeper and overflowing with an intense amount of love. "I love you too, dummy..." She whispered against your lips.

Despite how much you loved each other though, two years into the relationship both of you became extremely busy. Busier than you'd ever been since you were breaking into the international market and as was TWICE. Coming home to each other tired and grouchy. You'd tried to push it further but with one last fight after a long day of taking orders, you called it quits and left her dorm.

Your break-up was the toughest time for both of you, since you'd never gone public, you both had to maintain the happy facade for both your fans. It was particularly rough on you since a lot of the songs you'd been set to sing all the time were about and for her.

She anticipated every one of your songs since it was the only way she could hear your voice. Hearing how you forced yourself to be bouncy and in love with someone. At least she hoped you were forcing yourself.

On the day of your Sponsored Events, the day your latest song was to be performed during the event. The vocalist watched and saw the visible tiredness under your eyes but you still performed your heart out. Then a familiar melody played. One that Nayeon listened to all the time.

It was the first song you wrote about her. Except the lyrics were different. They were sadder, depicting your break-up rather than how you were beginning to fall in love with her. The lively guitar sound of the original was traded in for a softer and more delicate piano instrumental. As she looked at your face and heard the words that fell from your lips, it all came back to her in a wave, making her heart shatter all over again.

The rest of the girls came in after a while to check in on her and opted to stay with her to offer her some sort of comfort.

Nayeon watched your face intently, the ‘idol’ smile that was plastered onto your lips. You didn’t want to be there. She knew that. The interviewer went through a series of questions about your career and finally about the song. Your song for her, both versions. The smile on your face grew tighter, uncomfortably so.

“So two years ago, you released a song that you revamped and performed for us.” The interviewer asked you and you nodded, a dry chuckle falling from your lips. “And you said before that that song was written for a very special girl. What’s the story behind that one?” He pried making your jaw evidently clench. The girls sitting next to Nayeon eyed her carefully as she stared at your tense form. Silently anticipating what you were going to say.

For a moment, you collect yourself. The sadness swirling in your chest again from rewriting the song that you wrote for her. Having to channel all those emotions without crying on national television. You took a deep breath, releasing it with a pathetically winded laugh. “Short of it is that sometimes you need to let go of things to keep them whole. Uh…” You cleared your throat softly. The smile on your face fell a little, a sad and wistful grin left in its place. “Some things just need to happen to make way for better things, I guess.” You finished, the interviewer stunned.

A silence hung over the live feed for a moment. Nayeon and the rest of TWICE waited patiently to see what would happen next. The man leaned forward, propping his elbow onto his knee as he looked at you and asked, “If you could change the circumstances, Y/n…Would you choose to stay with her?” A somber smile on his face as your head upturned a little, eyes red and watery. Without a second thought, you nodded slowly.

Nayeon’s held tears trickled slowly down her cheeks as she held back a soft sob. “If I could…” You took a deep breath, lifting your hand to fan the tears out of your eyes, laughing softly at yourself before continuing. “I would leave everything behind to be with her.” The vocalist’s members had their arms around Nayeon as you spoke. She had pretty much bawled her eyes out as the unspoken confessions left your mouth.

“But I could never do that to her, not after all her sacrifices. I can’t.” Your voice finally cracked as the feed finally cut. The room echoed the eldest’s soft sobs while you did the same on the other side of the city.

okay, so this one was a little wobbly because i was not sober when i wrote this. had a bottle of soju and i'm feeling good HAAHAHH anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this and remember that requests are open and comments and criticism is completely welcomed! keep safe everyone and i will see you all very soon 😊😁

[some-messed-up-writing-for-you]

I really liked this prompt by @nuttynutcycle and felt the need to write something with it. Soo, here it is! (NOTE: the story starts before the prompt, so it appears in the middle.)

Warning: none.

~~~~ Flying through the air, Hero held onto Villain's body so hard they swore they could feel their knuckles cracking. All their limbs had tightly wrapped around the other as soon as they jumped out of the burning building, the hero's face buried in the other's shoulder to not inhale the smoke, and also so they wouldn't have to see the destruction around them.

The entire city had fallen into ruin, and the villain's henchmen were everywhere. Hero wasn't aware they had so many people working for them, as their enemy only ever had a couple of men with them. But- But this? This was an army.

Was that all part of the plan? Was Villain sparely using their minions to trick the hero? To make them think they weren't capable of something like this?

To make them think they couldn't possibly take over the capital city? Take over the country?

...

As the villain's boots thumped against solid ground, they loosened their hold on Hero, letting them crumple to the floor and frantically scramble away until their wounds forced them to stop moving. Villain had flown them both over to a nearby rooftop, which building had yet to catch aflame.

From their spot on the ground, the hero shivered under their nemesis' silent stare. As a fire burned brightly in the distance behind the villain, their form became shrouded in shadows, adding to their terrifying aura.

The silence was unbearable, and Hero decided to be the first one to break it.

"Y-You saved me." - The hero trembled like a leaf in the wind, head still swimming from the intensity of the last few minutes. "W-Why?"

Villain, still quiet, slowly approached them, making them tense up in anticipation. Hero's breathing grew shaky as their enemy knelt beside them and gently cradled their face with one hand.

"I want you there when I win." - The villain brushed their cheek softly, a small smile on their face. "Whether it's by my side or at my feet is up to you."

"I- I-" - the hero struggled to answer, stuttering out nonsense as they looked into the other's dark eyes. Villain's smile fell at their hesitance, and they flinched in fright as the criminal let go of their face and stood back at full height, towering over them again.

Taking deep breaths in hopes of calming their racing heart, Hero observed as their nemesis walked to the nearby edge of the rooftop, just a few steps away from their shaking body. Villain looked out over the burning city, one arm neatly held behind their back and the other one resting on the parapet wall protecting them from falling off the building.

Not that it mattered if the villain fell off or not. With how many powers they had, Hero was, at this point, pretty convinced nothing could hurt them.

"That would be the correct assumption to make." - Villain calmly said, still admiring the view.

Confusion decorated Hero's face shortly before they realized what had happened. Telekinesis. You can add that to the endless list of their abilities.

Expression still neutral, the villain asked, "Hero, do you want to know how I managed to pull this off?"

Honestly, the hero just wanted this craziness to end, but they'd be lying if they said that their curiosity wasn't eating away at them. So, like the cat that put his nose where it didn't belong, they replied, "I- I do..."

Slightly turning their head to look at their nemesis, Villain quietly explained, "I became a god."

Worry instantly gripped Hero's chest at the other's answer. What- What was that supposed to mean? They- They were a human! A powerful one, true, but... b-but a god? H-How-

"How could y-you possibly achieve s-something like- like that?"

The villain smiled again, and the hero really wasn't liking the look on their face. It made them feel weak, like they were only prey waiting to get caught.

"You're not like the others, Hero... Surely you've noticed over the years how I became stronger and stronger?"

Hero... Hero had noticed it. The process was gradual, barely visible unless you've been there from the start like they had been. It went from Villain getting shot, going into hiding, and reappearing a few days later fully recovered to Villain conveniently surviving deadly explosions or poisons. Until, eventually, years later, they were straight-up getting their limbs blown off and regrowing them instantly right before the hero's very eyes.

Shakily exhaling, Hero's mind floated to a memory from a few weeks ago, back when this hell had first started. They still remembered the dread that filled them at the sight of their nemesis floating high up in the sky, their voice bellowing across the city as they commanded their army. The sheer amount of power that came off Villain at that moment made the hero's knees nearly give out under them. At that moment, Villain was truly above everyone else in every sense of the word.

"Exactly." - the villain's voice suddenly sounded in their ears, and Hero jumped back as their eyes refocused and recognized that their enemy was suddenly right in their face.

The hero's breath hitched as Villain held their face again, this time with both their hands, as they lowly continued. "I've made myself unkillable, indestructible, invincible."

As a glint of possessiveness shined in the criminal's eyes, Hero's eyebrows furrowed in concern, the villain bringing their faces closer. "And I could- No. I will make you the same, whether you want it or not."

Trembling in the other's grasp, the hero questioned, "B-B-But h-how?"

Resting their foreheads against one another, Villain answered, "The same way I've made myself so powerful... The same way I've made my henchmen so loyal and unbeatable..."

Voice barely above a whisper, they claimed, "I will share my powers with you."

Hero froze, only able to keep listening as the villain caressed their cheek again and continued talking. "Not all of them, of course, but know that... where the hierarchy is concerned... you could be my equal, my partner."

Removing themself from their nemesis yet again, Villain loomed over them ominously. "And this is where my question returns, dear Hero."

Standing tall, arms neatly held behind their back, their mere presence demanded that the hero answer them as their shadow fell over them.

"Do you stand by my side and rule together with me, or... do you go from being the government's dog to being my dog... for all eternity?"

With tears stinging at their eyes, Hero pleaded, "V-Villain, please, just- How?! How c-can you share your-?!"

"It's a power that I stole."

"Wh- What...?"

Eyes shining brighter than the fire, the villain explained once more, "My power... The power that I was born with... Is the ability to steal the powers of others."

As they ranted, they looked off into the distance, for a moment getting lost in the past. "And over the years... I've gathered every power that I'd need and more."

Turning back to the hero, they ignored the fear in the other's eyes. "With time, I've learned how to mutate them, how to combine them to make them even stronger, to make myself stronger."

Done explaining, they squared their shoulders. "Now, answer me." - Villain growled out, odd desperation in their voice. "Will you lay at my side or at my feet?"

Hero stared at them for a long while, battling internally before ultimately, their gaze turned away from them, making them sigh in frustration. Clearly, they had to go about this a different way.

"Hero, you can't deny that we're not so different."

That got the hero's attention again, so the villain continued, "We both want what's best for this country."

Now it was Hero's turn to get upset, their face twisted into an appalled snarl as they demanded, "What's best for the country...?! HOW IS THIS WHAT'S BEST FOR THE COUNTRY?!"

They pointed at the destruction around them, nostrils blaring, as they paid no heed to the pain in their lungs, and Villain had to take a deep breath due to the other's stubbornness. Why did they have to be so difficult?

"Changes needed to be made. The system was broken, and you know it."

"W-Well yes, but-" - Hero faltered, trying to argue back, but their enemy cut them off.

"But what? Have you bothered to make a change, hmm? Bothered to take action?"

Not awaiting a response, Villain answered for them. "No, you didn't. You just followed your little orders, thinking that things would magically turn better."

"How is this better...?" - Hero croaked out, losing hope of winning this argument.

Frustrated, the villain yelled, startling the other. "GAH! JUST TAKE A PROPER LOOK AROUND, HERO!"

The criminal grabbed their nemesis by the arm and effortlessly dragged them over to the edge, making them look at the city, this time not through the lens of fear but the lens of truth.

As they finally took a real look at what was happening, a look not misguided by being down there in the heat of the moment, Hero noticed the way Villain's henchmen weren't attacking the civilians, but rather... escorting them away from the danger...?

They finally saw how the people willingly went with them, how they didn't even look scared of them. No, they only grew frightened when... when the heroes showed up... and... started mindlessly firing in the henchmen's direction..., not caring about the people who would... who would get caught in the crossfire...

...

...

"Do you understand yet, Hero...?" - Villain softly whispered, watching as their henchmen dutifully followed their orders, knocking the heroes out and capturing them, protecting the civilians from the necessary chaos.

"I want peace... I want equality... I want things to be right just as much as you do..."

As the wind softly blew against them, Hero turned to face their... enemy...? and was surprised to see tears spilling from their eyes as they continued.

"...But I can't make things right unless I'm in charge..."

Shaking, Villain questioned, "So tell me, Hero. Are you going to stand in my way? In the way of progress?"

With their fists clenching at their sides, the villain whispered painfully, "I don't want to force you to your knees..., but I will do it if I have to."

The hero looked at them, an array of emotions on their face, their own tears having fallen down their cheeks long ago. They opened their mouth to reply but failed to utter even a word. With conflicted feelings, their face scrunched up in thought, their gaze returning to the city below.

Villain stood beside them silently, awaiting their answer. Their body was more tense than the day they had opened fire upon the city. They didn't want to hurt Hero. They didn't. But... But if they had no other choice...

"Villain..." - the hero's meek voice barely reached their ears, but they stiffened nonetheless. "You..."

Arms suddenly wrapped around the villain's waist as Hero held onto them, muttering into their shoulder with an unsteady voice.

"...You better not make me regret this..."

With hope twinkling in their eyes, Villain asked, "D-Does... Does that mean you...?"

"I'll join you. I'll be at your side."

Relief flooded Villain's entire being at the hero's decision. They returned the embrace, tightly holding onto the other as if they would disappear at any moment.

"Thank you, Hero... And..., I'm sorry..."

Sorry? About what-?

Pain suddenly erupted in Hero's chest, their first thought being betrayal as their entire body burned with agony. They screamed and thrashed, trying to get away, but Villain held onto them with an unyielding grip, their heart aching at the hero's frantic shouts and thoughts.

Luckily, the whole ordeal only lasted about a minute, and Hero fell limp in the other's hold once it was over, breathing shakily, a few sobs escaping them from the unexpected pain and stress. As their heart rate began to slow back down and their mind had managed to calm down, they noticed that something was different and gasped quietly, as they felt something inside of themself.

Power.

So, so much power it made them shudder.

Was... Was this how Villain always...?

No, the villain didn't feel like this; they were stronger. Much stronger. Hero could feel it now, could feel the power thrumming inside their ex-nemesis. And as their mind focused, in the distance, all around them, they could sense Villain's henchmen, and even then, all the henchmens' and Hero's power combined was nothing compared to the villain's.

Villain was so much grander than all of them. They...

They really did become a god.

...

...

The feeling of a hand gently rubbing circles into their back brought the hero back to the present. Their eyes had closed at some point, so they fluttered them open again and lifted themself off the villain's shoulder.

Oh, when had they fallen to the ground? Both of them were on their knees, Hero's legs must've given out, and Villain probably lowered the two of them.

"I'm really sorry about that..." - the villain apologized again, a bit of concern on their face. "How... How do you feel?"

It was then that Hero noticed that they felt... good. Amazing even. They felt better than they ever had before. They were so full of energy, and their wounds had disappeared too.

"I-I'm good." - they eventually responded with a small smile. "And apology accepted."

With a smile of their own, Villain pulled themself to their feet, the hero moving with them. They stood there in silence for a few seconds, softly holding each other's hands. Both their gazes momentarily caught on one another's lips, but no. That could wait. After all, they had all the time in the world now and... some more pressing matters at hand.

Calling forth their power, the villain slowly lifted themself into the air, Hero following suit, listening intently as their partner instructed them on how to use their new powers. Together, they went off, conquering the country and at last making things right.

[onmyyan]

Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.

A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence

Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista

Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.

Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.

Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?

Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?

[theartofdreaming1]

Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.” 

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of  competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have 

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been! 

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. -  Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

[icyteaa]

TCF HEADCANON

[Being alive is the best, isn't it?]

Part 1

Part 2

—You really did well. You completely change the fate of this world.

Cale scowling when the first thing he heard after his conscious awake was that annoying voice. He didn't open his eyes just yet, because he knew he was still in a dream. Just like any dream he has after fainting for a long time. Because if not, he pricely would hear the children's voices. Often, it was their crying voices. It was not pleasant to hear, of course. But at least, that voices made him know, there was someone waiting for him; everyone still here and did not leave him by himself. Because of their voices, he knew he was not alone when he opened his eyes.

—You're a very amazing human. You go beyond my expectations every so often. Tell me, a human who changes the fate. What do you want as a reward for changing this world's fate?

Cale sighed. He planned to just ignore this voice until he woke up from his dream, but his mouth immediately said something after he heard what that annoying voice had asked. "Just don't bother me and everyone I know ever again. Your voice's very annoying, you see." Unfortunately, it looks like his curse just made that voice feel pleased, because it is now laughing so hard and makes Cale's ears feel sore.

—I know you will say it. But you will not wake up from this dream before we finish our talk.

"That annoying god..." Cale cursed under his breath before he opened his eyes. He then found himself in a familiar room. So familiar that it makes him freeze when memories come to his mind as he finds himself sitting up in that chair—the chair that was Kim Rok Soo's own when he was very weak, without any first grade abilities years ago.

—I will let you talk to the ones you miss the most for a short time. This is my gift for your hard work. So don't hate me so much, alright?

Cale's heart beat faster when he heard what that god was saying. He can't even focuses on the last sentence that god gave before the voice really disappears. He couldn't move himself as the emotions filled him. Talk to the ones he misses the most? He very well knows who the god refers to, and it makes him filled with excitement; but on the other hand, felt hesitation and anxiety too.

Cale knew, their deaths weren't his fault nor themselves. He knew they were happy now. But to talk to them again? He felt his mind gone blank and he didn't know where all the words he always had for them when he reminiscing disappeared. But when he heard footsteps behind him, he cursed with the fact that god didn't even let him think about what to say. Cale clenched his fist before letting it go and sighed once again. He turned up and saw very familiar faces greet him with a wide smile on their lips.

"Is this you now, Rok Soo?" Lee Soo Hyuk is the first one who greeted him. Cale can see Choi Jung Soo behind him but didn't say anything while his face shows how surprised he is right now. Their appearances are the same as the last time Cale saw them—not with their wound and blood of course, but the ages and styles they used were the same as that time, before that accident destroyed everything. Cale then finally realized that in this dream, he is in Cale's body. The one he lives on right now. Cale nodded while seeing the two men finally in front of him.

They first checked Cale's outfit and appearance because it was very different from what it had in their world. Choi Jung Soo pinch his nose and cheeks before pulling his long red hair. It was very annoying and Cale couldn't help but slap that rascal's hand out of his head. Lee Soo Hyuk laughed so hard because of that, but Choi Jung Soo just smirked, "Now I know this is really you. No one can be this rude to other people except you."

All anxiety and hesitation disappeared in just a few seconds in Cale's heart. They really are still the same as before; so-called annoying hyungs that Cale knows so well. Cale snorting and rolling his eyes because of what Choi Jung Soo said. He wanted to protest, but Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo grabbed his shoulders before he could do that. Their eyes glimmering and there is a cheeky smile in their lips, "So what kind of mess did you pull until you can make a deal with literal god, Rok Soo?"

That question makes Cale frown deeper. From their choice of words, it makes him like the one who causes trouble all over the world. No, he didn't do it, didn't he? He just wants to live a peaceful life, but it looks like the world and gods hating him and dragged him into trouble every so often. He snorted, "I never want to make a deal with that annoying god. It just drag me as it pleased."

Cale didn't realize that his face right now formed a very cute face for Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo. Soo Hyuk laughed again and Jung Soo joined in. Their hands roaming in Cale's cheeks and pinch it as they realize with this Kim Rok Soo's new appearance, Cale really seems very young, and they are his big hyungs with longer gap ages.

"Have you been well?" Cale turned toward Jung Soo again after finally success getting away from their irritating grasp. Cale can see affection in his eyes before the man hides his hand in his jeans pockets. "It is so unfair that Soo Hyuk-hyung had met you before me. Aren't I your hyung too??" Choi Jung Soo pouting, but Cale just frowned with act the man pulled. He sighed before answering, there was a few seconds pause in his voice, "I... have been well."

"Have you met another person that can save your ass when you're getting into trouble in your world, Rok Soo?" Lee Soo Hyuk pulled another question with a smirk in his lips, but Cale knows better that Soo Hyuk really means that question. He wants to know if Cale has someone he can trust and lean on in his new world.

His mind immediately remembered everyone that filled his days from the day he became Cale Henituse. He is now wondering how they have been when he was unconscious and has anyone got seriously injured because of the battle they pulled last time. He couldn't confirm it himself before because he passed out too fast.

But before he can say anything, something halt him from speaking. There are crying voices. Cale knows very well whose crying voices it is. Cale turned his head up even if there was nothing he could see there. He concentrated more just to hear the children cry because Cale did not wake up for too long between their hiccups. He sighed, just like any other time before, hearing their crying voices really not pleasant to him.

"It looks like we didn't need an answer. You are very loved there, huh." Lee Soo Hyuk smiled once again before hugging him. Cale could feel Choi Jung Soo joining in and they just hugged each other for a moment.

If it is the normal Kim Rok Soo, he will refuse this hug because it felt strange and weird to do it with them. But Cale knew very well. The chance to have this moment again with them in the future is very small. He didn't want to regret this moment again, just like when he regretted not speaking his honest feelings toward them before they died.

They let Cale free after that. Choi Jung Soo patted his shoulder a few times before stepping back to stand beside Lee Soo Hyuk. "We couldn't hold you back for too long because there are people who are worried about you, aren't we?" Cale clenched his hands once again. His eyes focus on two men in front of him and recording all the moments in front of him right now; their facial expressions, their voices and so their warmth in his memories before nodding. He could see himself faded as indicated he would wake up soon in his world.

"You still remember what I said back then, right?" Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo directed their fists toward him. Cale sighed, but he couldn't stop his lips from forming a smile for the first time in front of them and directed his own fist, "Being alive is the best, isn't it?" Cale can see their smile getting wider as he said that. And then, he really faded away.

He will never forget this moment for his entire life. And he will always be grateful for this second chance of life in this world. (Though he will never admit that, especially in front of the God of Death).

The first thing he saw when his eyes opened was the big black blob crying river in his chest and making his shirt very wet. Besides him, two other clumps stuck their heads on his arm and made another wet spot on his shirt. Cale sighed. His hand still has not regained its strength yet, so he can't comfort them as fast as possible. He roaming his eyes and scanning surrounding to find he was in his bed on Super Rock's Villa, before he stared again at the black blob that had gotten bigger than the last time he saw, "Why are you guys crying so hard?"

The three of them flinched instantly and looked up toward him. Cale shook his head twice before reaching one hand toward Raon and another hand toward On and Hong. His hand was still shaking, but it was enough to move his hand toward them and gave a stiff pat on their head. He can see they are freezing in their place, unable to respond to his question. Cale then hummed gently, still tried to pat their heads more smoothly and gave them comfort, "I'm awake now, so don't cry."

"CALE!!" They rushed toward his face and nearly choked him, but Cale tried to adjust this torture with a hug to calm them down. He could hear the children protesting to Cale that he was unconscious for too long; he can also hear Raon telling everyone in the Villa to come to the 5th floor as fast as possible because Cale is finally awake. They are crying again because of relief and there is nothing Cale can do other than pat their back gently.

Eruhaben, Molans Duo, Choi Han, Lock, the wolf siblings, Rosalyn, Mary and even Gashan quickly arrive in his bedroom. He still understands that. After all, they are all monsters with strong physics and magic. What he didn't anticipate was even Alberu, Henituse members family, Toonka, Witira, Litana, Hannah and Jack, and even Bud Illis together with Glenn would shortly arrive in his chamber after Raon announced the news. Aren't they having another things to do?? How can they be transported shortly here in the middle of day? And is Raon just told everyone—literally everyone they knew—about his consciousness?

"Uh... has everyone been well? Is there someone getting seriously injured because of the battle before?" Cale felt a bit flustered because how many people came to his chamber for a very short time. He cleared his throat before turning toward three bundles in front of him after seeing disbelief stares and glares immediately thrown toward him after he opened his mouth.

It looks like their viciousness is getting updated while he is unconscious. Because he felt very small just with all the death threats they sent from their eyes.

Ron approached him first and helped him sit properly with a pillow to lean on. He adjusted the position, so the three children were perfectly wrapped under his two hands and sat down on his lap. He turned up again after he heard Alberu's voice. "Are you really asking that right now?" His face is unusually more emotional than ever before. And Cale didn't know why he could see frustration in everyone's faces. Cale frowned out of his confusion but didn't open his mouth because he was afraid it would make them more angry than this.

Alberu sighed and rubbed his face with two palms. Cale flinched with how vicious Alberu looked after they facing each other again, but Alberu didn't give him time to turn away and immediately said, "You are the only one who had been seriously injured and unconscious for a year and a few days. Are you really in the position to ask us that question??"

A year? He fainted for a year?? He never thought it would be this long. Now he knew why the children in his lap got bigger and heavier than he ever remembered. And now he knows why everyone looks a bit different than they used to be in his memories.

Cale scanning his surroundings and recording all their new looks. He smiled with satisfaction when he finally ensured himself that everyone was healthy and good. There is no one who dies. He saves everyone. It was different from the last bad memories he had with Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo.

Cale can see another disbelief that shows on their faces because of Cale's smile. He shook his head a few times, facing them with more confidence while still patting the children's back, before saying, "But it was worth it, isn't it?" He saw they were all flinching because of that, but he just continued while holding the children more tight. "If I can make you all alive with just one year worth of living, I will never ask myself twice to do it."

Those few sentences successfully make everyone emotional. The wolf siblings and even Lily, crowded Cale as they cried hard while others stood in their position while having their bodies shake. The room is filled with children's crying voices. Cale flinched first because eleven children as reinforcement really made him feel loaded, but he just sighed after. It was understandable for children to cry in this kind of situation. And he didn't want to stop them, at least now.

He could hear Raon, On and Hong told him he was an idiot and weak that he should never do that ever again. And Cale just pat every head in his reach to calm them down. He then saw others silently shaking their bodies with wet eyes. "Thank you," Cale whispered as his head reached the children's head, but knew everyone in the room still could hear his voice, "thank you for staying alive."

Cale can hear a hiccup for them. Emotions filled them as they finally saw their precious family opened his eyes. They heard his voice, and saw that he is alive; sound and healthy. It felt like forever, but as much as they were frustrated because of Cale, they felt relieved too. Cale is okay. And Cale is still their idiot sacrificial self that they love so much.

There is nothing changed; except for the fact that, they finally felt like winning the war. It was because their hero had now finally woken up from his long unconscious stead.

>> end <<

Note:

1. I should have told you this fanart link in the headcanon part 1 but I forgot I have seen this before. So here it is. Cale with blood really not good for us, isn't it 😢

2. GIVE CALE MORE HUGS!! CALE DESERVES THE WORLD AND ALL HAPPINESS ITS OWN 😭😭

3. I'm planning to make [Bonus Part: Multiple Hugs] to heal our souls after reading this emotional headcanon. It focuses on Cale's interaction with all his family after he wakes up! Hope you will like it too <3

[blzzrdstryr]

Moth into flame. Yandere!Kaeya x gn!reader

Wordcount: 4k

A.N: It’s very self-indulgent, but I had this idea for 2 weeks now and needed to get it out. I’ve never written fanfiction and I am not a native speaker, so bear with me.

CW: Violence, unhealthy relationship

For as long as you know Kaeya, he feels different from other people. Odd in the way that empty alleyways and dark rooms are odd, a sense of barely concealed danger lurking underneath the layers of charm and friendliness. You always felt his darker nature, but never questioned it before - you are an adventurer after all, the danger is your thrill.

He must have known that you aren’t particularly repulsed by this side of him, as his friendly facade morphed into something darker right in front of you for a couple of times. You doubt a liar and an actor as skilled as he is would make such amateurish mistakes.

No, he can’t be ignorant about how his more ominous part is what makes your veins sing from the strange mix of fascination and fear. That must be why he kept flashing his less amiable side, enticing you further in his grasp, and you gladly took step after step in the carefully crafted trap he prepared just for you.

How could you not? Kaeya is charming and dangerous, like wildfire  and you are nothing but a moth, too blinded by his light to stop and just think.

And now, seeing an irrefutable, but faux proof of the crimes you didn’t commit in his hands, you feel it - how searing his casual coldness can be. Right now, Kaeya Alberich is no human in your heart, he is a small piece of abyss that made its way out of Khaenri’ahn ruins to drag you down the cosmic darkness, where you possibly truly belong.

***

Kaeya both loves and hates your first meeting and he avoids reminiscing about it. It sounds strange, right?

Back then he was still a part of Ragnvindr household and Diluc treated him like a brother, and maybe that is a small part of a reason why he feels such aversion to recalling it - those memories are tinted both by fond nostalgia and bitter loss, enough to make him itch for a bottle in his hand.

Both Kaeya and you were green rookies - a knight fresh from training and a beginner adventurer, accidentally teaming up against a gang of treasure hoarders. It all ended up with both of you victorious, but injured. Kaeya helped you to walk back to Monstadt as one of the criminal's bolts wounded your leg, enough to make you wince from pain at every step.

In the middle of the trail he suddenly grew bored from your barely suppressed pained expressions and soft pants, no matter how cute they were to him, and decided to carry you, just like the groom would carry his  bride. He quipped and joked about it, as he made his way to the city's general direction, and you laughed and made some witty remarks in return.

At the moment he didn't think too much of it - you were another adventurer in his eyes back then, a cute, but insignificant passerby in his life and he was just playing a role of gallant knight in shiny armor. Give it a week or two and he would forget your face and your name.

But he didn't.

Just as you were approaching city gates, a miracle happened - red vision materialized right in your hands. You clutched it tightly to the chest, a bright smile appearing on your face. You turned your head to Kaeya, and he could have swore you were using your newly acquired Pyro on him.

How else could he feel so warm inside all of a sudden?

He couldn't help but recall your smile for weeks after that.

***

Your second meeting happened when you were returning to Mondstadt after your first long expedition. Shortly after the word of your Pyro vision reached Cyrus' ears, he was dead set on sending you to Dragonspine to help other adventurers. You were hesitant at first, but then your natural thirst for thrill combined with a hefty pay he promised won over you, and here you were - carrying several stacks of starsilver, absolutely exhausted and frozen to the very bones walking back to Mondstadt.

To say that you were unprepared would be an understatement of the year - even with pyro vision the cold seemed absolutely unbearable and to make matters worse you almost had a run in with a frostarm lawachurl. To avoid hopeless fight, you had to hide behind the tall snowdrift, almost submerging your body in it, as you both admired and dreaded the ice cladden giant.

Nonetheless, you acquired all of the starsilver the adventure guild needed, and now you trekked through the forest as the sun started to set.

Straining your eyes to see through the heavy rain and approaching darkness you saw it - a bright red smudge against the dark tree bark and unmistakable scent of blood. Such stark contrasts were enough to shake off the tiredness. You slowly made your way to the source of the stench, both fearing and anticipating what may reveal itself to your curious eyes.

There was a silhouette of an injured man that started to slowly morph into a vaguely familiar figure as you got closer. Seeing that there was no threat, you threw your ore to the ground and ran to the unconscious person. It was that knight who helped you to defeat treasure hoarders, Kaeya.

He looked horrible - his normally rich bronze skin now looked ashen and grey from the bloodloss, the face that radiated smugness seemed as if it already belonged on the corpse, the blue vest that he was wearing dyed almost completely in purple from the bloodloss, but the most horrible thing was a shallow but wide gash on his chest.

Not wasting any second, you pulled out your trusty dagger, and sliced the vest to inspect the wound. As you pulled obstructing cloth away you noticed another detail - small burns, surrounding the gash, as if someone slashed Kaeya with something hot enough to scorch, but not hot enough to close the wound and most unexpectedly, faintly glowing blue orb. A cryo vision.

You sat on your knees to put his vision in your pocket and clean his wounds. It still bled, as you frantically searched for a way to close it your eyes fell on the small burns around the wound and suddenly a crazy idea popped up in your head.

With shaking hands you used a piece of sliced vest to muffle him and prevent Kaeya from accidentally biting his tongue off, and then you took the dagger again heating it up. You heard about cauterization from older adventurers, but hoped that you wouldn’t resort to using it.

Kaeya’s pained groans were muffled by the makeshift gag, yet it wasn’t enough to wake him. After you made sure that his bleeding stopped, you removed your outerwear and wrapped Kaeya up. You cursed, as you hoisted a heavier body on your back, an exhaustion you have forgotten moments ago hitting you with a renewed strength.

The path to the Mondstadt with a new burden on your back now felt ten times longer. Even if you two were barely an acquaintance, a cold coil of fear for Kaeya's life still set in the pit of your stomach, and it seemed that no amount of fire would make you feel warm again.

***

Waking up in the infirmary was one of the biggest surprises in Kaeya’s life.

There were times when he was sure of his imminent death - an abandoned shivering child all alone in the forest, a stranger in the strange land, a prince of nothing with the weight of the whole dying kingdom left on his shoulders; a rainy night reeking of death and loss, grief and fury burning him just as much as incandescent claymore, rapidly growing pool of bright red blood, just as red as a…

Kaeya was okay with dying - it would be a nice ending to his story. The dead saviour of an already dead nation, an outlander casted out from the only semblance of home he had. He liked the irony.

He could have asked for help right after the duel, calling out that person’s name, he knew that that person wouldn’t leave him if he was dying, but the possibility of seeing hatred in those eyes was too much for him. The second a fiery blade cut through his flesh was when Kaeya decided to die.

And honestly, he couldn't continue to live once he confirmed what kind of a monster he is - the first thing he felt when he saw Crepus Rangvindr, a person who took him in, kept him fed, warm, safe and clothed all these years, a person who loved him more than his own father did, slowly disintegrating under the strain of delusion Kaeya felt no sadness. No, a relief, as if he was freed of a tiresome burden came instead.

Kaeya was disgusted and horrified for even experiencing such feelings in the first place, but he also couldn't do anything with it - for the last few years he was torn apart between Mondstadt and his homeland, and Crepus’ death should have solved his internal dilemma, driving the final nail in the coffin.

Sometimes he felt as if he was no person at all, just an abyssal creature that took on a human form and was allowed to live only to be unleashed on Teyvat. The time at Khaenri’ah was something that stuck with him for the rest of his life - the fear and resignation he experienced there heavily imprinted on his brain.

Every once in a while he had impulses to lie, to hurt and do as he pleases, for a long time he stopped these urges at the root, maintaining the illusion of normalcy he built for Ragnvindr household. He knew it was from Khaenri’ah, a cursed  nation of sinners with all of its glorious legacy lost to the sands of time. Immoral impulses were something that would have helped him to survive among the endless darkness that surrounded god-forsaken place.

“Ugh”, he tried to get up, to shake intrusive and self-deprecating thoughts away, but failed. Pain, like melted iron, slowly spread from his chest to the points of his fingers in a second. Even breathing was hard - his entire body ached and burned, a shaking hand slowly touched bandaged torso. Alberich winced as he remembered why exactly it was aching.

“Sir Kaeya, you are already awake! Please, don’t move.”, pretty but forgettable nun fussed over him, rechecking his bandages and then taking out a foul smelling medicine. She made Kaeya drink it all. He still cringing from the bitter taste, half sat on the bed, leaning on the headrest, tried to flash her his most charming smile and asked:

“Do you know how I got there?”, it seemed his charms did work on the girl, as she started to describe the previous night in great detail: what she was doing prior to his arrival, how dark the sky was, how worried she was when she saw his battered body, how exhausted the adventurer and guards that delivered him looked.

“Do you happen to know the adventurer’s name? I would like to say my thanks once I get better”

“Oh, it was [First], I think, but I am not sure.  I believe I saw a pyro vision” Kaeya slid in the lying position again, as he remembered you, his first and only crush. Half buried feelings ignited in his chest with a renewed vigor.

Seeing that Kaeya paid her no mind, the nun headed to the exit of the infirmary, but right before she left she turned to Kaeya again, saying that you will visit him tomorrow.

****

Just as you thought Kaeya was conscious today. After you managed to carry him back to Mondstadt, worried but distrustful guards at city gates took away your load and delivered him to the Church of Favonius. You insisted at coming with them, still anxious for Kaeya’s life. Nuns almost showed you out of the infirmary and you, defeated, had to go home.

The next day you spent looking for the abandoned starsilver, thoughts occupied both by Kaeya and the payment Cyrus promised. Fortunately, the stacks lied right where you discarded them and after a quick trip back to the adventurer's guild, you had nothing to do - weekly commissions done days prior, so you decided to spend some time inside the city for once.

As you navigated the city square you felt the tense mood that hung in the air, Mondstadt usually cheerful and carefree now seemed uncharacteristically gloomy. You later learned that the local wine tycoon, Crepus Ragnvindr, died in the accident and his son and young the youngest captain in history of Ordo Favonius, Diluc, left the city and abandoned the knights.

Despite spending almost all of your time outside the city gates, even you were aware of the city's happenings and certainly heard about two dashing young gentlemen. Kaeya was rumored to be a foreign orphan taken in by Crepus and Diluc as you remembered is a claymore swinging pyro user - a picture of Kaeya’s injuries came to mind. Scattered details started to slowly gather into a sound theory.

A fight after Crepus' death(was accident Kaeya’s fault?), that resulted in Diluc abandoning the knights(Are knights also at fault?).

You quickly brushed it off, as theorizing without the concrete evidence was one of the biggest mistakes one could make. So instead of building baseless speculations, you decided to visit one of the key people, Kaeya. Occupied by your thoughts and curiosity, the travel to the church seemed almost momentarily.

Stepping in the infirmary you were hit with a strong bitter scent of the medicine, but Kaeya sitting on the bed seemed fine, if not a bit tired. He was reading a book, but put it aside as he noticed you and gave you a warm smile.“I remember you, [First], you were the one who saved me I was told. Seems I should make it up to you”

“No need for it, you were dying”, you head to him, a hand searching for the vision in the travelling bag. His smile doesn’t drop, even when a somewhat awkward silence hangs around you. Finally, you exclaim: “I found a vision near you, and kept it so it doesn’t get lost or anything”.

“Oh, that’s a surprise, give it to me” the vision in his hands glows alive with a gentle blue light, a small ice shard forming between his fingers and you find yourself holding your breath. Kaeya looks less impressed than you, a strange emotion written on his face,as he looks from the blue orb, to the ice, to your amazed face.

“It may sound rude, but do you remember who injured you?” Kaeya doesn’t appear phased, slowly blinking, a confusion written on his face, as he looks up in contemplation. “Hm, no, can’t remember anything” You shift a little, disappointment not reaching your face. Was Kaeya lying or not?

“I hope I didn’t mess up your adventuring schedule” Kaeya murmured, leaning a little closer to you.

“No. I planned on spending a week inside the city. Why do you ask?”

“Well” he smirks, “maybe a brave and strong adventurer will lend a hand to poor injured me and”, you felt your face slowly heating up “escort me to Good Hunter, the food here is abysmal and maybe your company and decent meal will clear my head a little”

Only a day later you realized that it was your first date.

***

Kaeya likes challenges, and maybe that is a reason why he’s so drawn to you - you’re smart, just not people-smart, and you have enough intuition to guide you away from the schemes and plans he tries to pull off. Of course, he wouldn’t risk your life or general wellbeing - he likes your presence far too much to do that - but the possible less savory reactions he could gauge out of you were too alluring to miss out - frustration, fear, anger.

Alberich is frustrated - a hunger that was ignited by you grew greater and greater with each day - he wants to see so much of you, see you in pain, see you helpless, see you defeated. Would you cry, would you yell, would you curse at him?

He tried to resist it in the beginning - just as he did when he was still a part of Ragnvindr family - but he failed. Maybe, Diluc’s dismissal of him and abandonment was something that broke Kaeya in the way that Khaenri’ah couldn’t. That rainy day he learned one lesson - everyone leaves, and Kaeya didn’t doubt that you would too.

You are an adventurer after all, as free as a wind. It’s just pure luck that someone as curious and thrill-seeking as you hasn't moved to the other nations in search of excitement.

Kaeya feels threatened.

Over the years, you both fell in the comfortable, but vague place between friendship and something-more-than-friendship,a status quo of sorts. You were a loner at heart - fine with keeping almost everyone at arm’s length and Kaeya, to his disappointment, found that even his charms wouldn’t bend your will.

He could see how uncomfortable yet excited you got, when he showed his less considerate side - when he arrested and fought criminals, when he pulled off his complex plans, when he turned and twisted the words of others to make them scream and writhe and beg. Oh, of course you tried to hide it, your face becoming akin to a mask of stone, but there were other tells - the shine in your eyes, the body language and accelerated breath.

Kaeya also knew what an excitement glutton you are - there is a flame inside of you, needing to consume and devour new tastes, sights, adventures and mysteries. You are predictable in that way, he has a gut feeling that you are wary of him, but the promise of a new enigmatic crime that needs your assistance is almost always enough to lure you back into his arms.

And now he has a new problem at hands - his failed plan. Months of subtle work and manipulation led and were supposed to build up your feelings for this. A public love confession, both sudden and extravagant. Kaeya thought that someone as awkward as you, would cave in under the pressure he would put you through by making his love public.

However you didn’t, even if some, if not most of the onlookers gasped in the shocked disappointment - Kaeya was sure that you two looked like a would-be-couple to the observer’s eye. You stuttered some apologies, hid your face and almost ran away from him.

It grates on Kaeya’s nerves in a special way, annoyance slowly building up. Fortunately, he has a strategy to relieve it, by methodically destroying it’s source.

***

“Thank you, let’s do the next commissions together” you wave goodbye to the fellow adventurer, missing an indiscernible look cavalry captain gives both of you.

Only when the said adventurer leaves, does Kaeya step out of the shadow, his single eyes wholly focused on you. After the confession you started to purposefully avoid him - something that Kaeya thought was possible, but didn’t entertain it enough.

Seeing him is what almost sends you to retreat - relationships are messy, especially after failed public confessions, there’s too much burden now and you never felt the desire to work on any of them leaving everything to take its course. Instead, you stand there, enduring his cold gaze and warm smile, hit by a sudden realization of how childish your thoughts are.

Kaeya must have taken your passiveness as an invitation, as his hand snakes around your shoulder, throwing you off your internal monologue. “[First], I have an interesting case again” he leans in, his breath tickling your neck, “and I need an assistant again, the pay will be like last time”.

In spite of your current discomfort you almost space out, body habitually relaxing near him. “What the thing about?” the cases that Kaeya involves you in are always bizarre and something never seen before, a mystery awaiting to be solved.

He begins describing it to you - a strange string of deaths of young adventurers, all of whom were visionless and most curiously they all died off duty. Young men and women did their commissions, plunged in the domains and fought with monsters, but died inside the city walls, inside their houses and beds, surrounded by safety and comfort.

Kaeya shares that his informant found a hearsay that there were some interesting potions on the black market and he needs you to infiltrate as a visionless adventurer and buy potions, as much as possible.

This evening you leave the city, your heart full of trust for Kaeya, even if your relationship did take a colder turn.

***

You, as Kaeya predicted, still believed him.  Alberich almost felt bad for exploiting and twisting your trust in him , but as he supposed there was nothing more he could do with himself. Your visage filled his head day and nights, sometimes he even daydreamed about the life he would have with you. It would be delightful - to have you underneath his thumb, ready for any whim and perversion he could come up with.

He came to the Angel’s share and ordered a glass of wine, ignoring judgemental stare Diluc pointed at him. He could almost hear Ragnvindr saying “already” and calling Knights inefficient and lazy drunkards. Kaeya happily took a sip of the liquid - all of his plans always carried an element of risk, so the cavalry captain felt a bit agitated. What if you don’t touch the potions? What if the gang will escape with them?

Nevertheless, if you did touch it or not wouldn’t really matter, as catching you red-handed was more important. He needed to make you look guilty - you worked with him unofficially, which meant that no one knew about it, not even Vile. Sure no one would take your word over his, even if you left significant evidence of your innocence, after all a lot of knights are weak to bribes.

He almost hummed, as he imagined things he would do to you once you were imprisoned and completely in his power. He, of course, would save you from the dank dark cell, finding an “overlooked” detail, but not before breaking and molding you a little.

Finishing his wine, he went to the knight’s headquarters, to request the assistance of other knights in the arrest of a dangerous criminal, a spring evident in his step.

***

It was treasure hoarders again, you silently cursed, while dodging one of the attacks. You weren’t the best actor and within the minutes they exposed you. Fighting among the fragile vials wasn’t the best idea, so you moved the fight to the outside. Once they all run after you, you jump over them, raining a constant stream of fire over them. Some of them started to scream, a pure agony written on their face.

Some of the hoarders used a hidden gas bomb, submerging the whole place in smoke and using it to run away. You didn’t run after them, and headed inside instead. There was a significant change: some of the vials that contained transparent liquid now were bright red. You took one of them in and gasped - it felt so warm in your hands - and then you recognized your own elemental energy.

Out of curiosity you reached for the “uncontaminated” one, the colorless liquid rapidly bloomed with scarlet red, as your vision came to life without your command. Was it that deadly potion that Kaeya talked about? You felt how it sucked some of the pyro energy from you, then it must transmit collected energy to its consumer. No wonder all of those adventurers died - without a vision their bodies weren’t used to receiving and processing such amounts of elemental energy.

You tried to take the vials with the “clear” potion, but no matter what you did all of them got dyed in red the second you stood a little closer. Sighing in defeat you collected ones contaminated with your energy and prepared to head back to Mondstadt. You needed to warn Kaeya to take some regular knights with him if Albedo needed samples for analysis.

Suddenly there was a sound of several people running up to you, a Favonius armor coming into the sight. You almost smiled as you saw Kaeya, happy that he decided to help you, until you heard it: “Arrest them!”