#like i said if they hate each other that much then why agree to do joint panels/photo ops in the first place
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Heyy Nausicaa!!
I love all of your fics, you're an amazing writer!
So, could you do a fic about mop era James hetfield and the reader? They r best friends and the reader gets a bf and James doesn't like him bc he's toxic but the reader doens't see him as toxic. They get in a fight outside the bar she told James about her bf and James is drunk telling the reader how he could be a better bf than her current bf is. The fight ends when the reader starts walking to her bf's house and James runs to her bc he doens't want her to go there. Soo they walk to james' apartment. At the apartment James agrees to sleep on the couch so the reader coul sleep in his room. They go to sleep but James can't sleep so he sneaks in his bedroom where the reader is sleeping and lays next to her and cuddles her. The next morning they wake up in each others arms and the reader finally comes to her senses about her current bf that he's toxic. Then she breaks up with him over the phone. James is real happy and then they cuddle some more and then... Suprise suprise they get đŻđ»đźđȘđŽđ đđ€
Thank you so much, I hope you like it!â€
Warnings: mature themes, sexual content, emotional intensity, toxic relationship,
Breaking Through
James Hetfield had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. Weâd been through it all togetherâthe wild nights, the heavy conversations, the laughter, and even the silence that spoke louder than words. Our friendship had always been easy, natural, and unspoken in a way that felt comfortable. We didnât need to say it, but we both knew weâd always have each otherâs backs.
And then there was him. My boyfriend.
It started innocently enough, just a guy who caught my attention. At first, he seemed perfectâcharming, funny, easygoing. We fit together, or so I thought. But James hated him. And that wasnât something I was used to. James wasnât a guy who hated easily. If anything, he gave people the benefit of the doubt. But not this guy. And at first, I didnât get it. I thought he was just being overprotective. But the more I ignored his warnings, the more I started to feel it in my gutâsomething wasnât right.
I shouldâve listened to him.
Tonight, the tension had reached a breaking point. I found myself outside a bar, feeling a little too buzzed from the drinks Iâd had, standing in front of James, ready to tell him everything about the latest drama in my relationship. I thought I could keep it casual, tell him I was fine, but James had other plans.
We stood under the glow of the streetlight, the night air crisp against my skin. James leaned against the brick wall of the bar, cigarette in hand, but he wasnât smoking. He was just looking at me with those blue eyes that seemed to see straight through me.
âHey,â I said, trying to break the silence.
âHey,â he replied, flicking the cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his boot. His gaze didnât leave me. âWhatâs going on? You look... off.â
I shrugged, playing it off. âJust the usual stuff. My boyfriendâs being weird, but you know, itâs fine.â
James pushed off the wall, stepping closer. âYouâre not fine, Y/N. I can see it. Youâre not fine.â
I froze. There it was againâhis ability to see straight through me. He always had it, but tonight, it hit differently.
âWhat do you mean?â I asked, trying to mask the nerves in my voice.
âDonât lie to me,â James said, his voice quiet but firm. âIâm your friend. I know when somethingâs wrong.â He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. âYouâre with him, but youâre not happy. Why are you staying in something thatâs pulling you down?â
I opened my mouth to protest, but no words came out. How could I explain it to him? How could I tell him that I didnât want to face the truth? That maybe, just maybe, he was right?
âY/N,â James continued, stepping closer again, his voice lower now, âYou deserve better than this guy. He doesnât care about you the way you think he does. I can see it, and you can too, if youâd just let yourself.â
I felt a lump form in my throat. âYou donât know him like I do, James. Heâs not perfect, but heâs mine.â
James took a sharp breath. His expression was tight now, frustrated. âThatâs the problem, Y/N. Heâs dragging you down. And you deserve better than this. I care about you more than he ever will, and Iâm not gonna sit here and watch you get hurt.â
His words landed like a slap, but they werenât angryâjust raw. And for the first time, I realized just how much he really meant it. This wasnât about him wanting me for himselfâthis was about him wanting me to be happy, wanting me to be free from something that was suffocating me.
I stepped back, the words on the tip of my tongue, but I couldnât bring myself to say anything. My heart pounded, the weight of his words pressing down on me.
âYou know Iâm right,â James said quietly. âI could be a better boyfriend to you than he ever could.â
My breath caught. Was he serious? He had always been there for meâsure, heâd always been my friendâbut this was different. This was⊠something else.
âJamesâŠâ My voice faltered. âYouâre drunk. You donât know what youâre saying.â
But James shook his head, a frustrated, pained expression crossing his face. âIâm not drunk, Y/N. Iâm not. Iâm just telling you what I see. And what I see is you settling for someone who doesnât care about you the way I do.â
I felt a sharp sting in my chest, my mind reeling. I had no idea how to respond, so instead of saying anything, I just turned away. The cold night air hit my face as I started walking, desperate to get away from the conversation, away from everything.
But James wasnât having it. âWhere are you going?â he called after me, his voice urgent.
I didnât answer, just kept walking in the direction of my boyfriendâs house.
âY/N, donât do this,â he said, his footsteps loud behind me. âDonât go there. Please.â
I felt my frustration rise. âIâm fine, James. Iâm going to him. Itâs none of your business.â
âIt is my business,â he said, voice firm. âYouâre my best friend. I care about you more than anything, and I wonât just stand by and watch you walk into a situation thatâs gonna hurt you. Iâm not letting you go there.â
I didnât know what to say. I didnât know how to process the weight of his words. Everything inside me wanted to keep going, to ignore what he was saying, but a part of me was scared. Scared of what I was doing, scared of what James was saying.
âPlease,â he begged, his voice breaking a little. âDonât go there. Please.â
I stopped walking, my body trembling with the weight of everything. I didnât want to admit it, but I was scared. Scared of the relationship I was in, scared of how tangled I had gotten in something that wasnât good for me.
I turned around slowly, looking at James. He was standing a few feet behind me, his hands clenched at his sides, his expression softening. For the first time in a long time, I saw it. The care, the love, the pure concern in his eyes.
âOkay,â I whispered. âI wonât go.â
James exhaled like heâd been holding his breath. Without a word, he started walking toward me. âIâll take you back to my place. Weâll talk it through. I wonât let you go through this alone.â
When we reached his apartment, James didnât push. He just opened the door and let me step inside. The familiarity of the space, the comfort of it, felt strange in the best way. I was used to this place, but tonight, it felt different.
âYou can sleep in my room,â James said, gesturing toward the door. âIâll take the couch. I wonât push you to talk if you donât want to.â
I nodded, too emotionally drained to protest. I needed space, but I also needed comfort. I slipped into his room, wrapping myself in the warmth of his bed, but sleep didnât come easily.
Eventually, I felt the bed shift. A warmth spread beside me, and I froze. I looked over my shoulder, and there he wasâJames, his face relaxed as he laid down beside me, his arm gently around my waist.
I didnât pull away. I didnât want to. It felt right. It felt safe. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe.
I closed my eyes and let myself rest, my mind swirling with everything that had happened, but somehow feeling lighter than I had in weeks.
The next morning, the soft light of dawn filtered through the window. I turned over slowly, and there he wasâJames, still holding me close, his arm wrapped around me protectively. For a moment, I just lay there, taking in the peacefulness of the moment.
I didnât know how to put it into words, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. My relationship had been toxic. I had known about it for a while, but I hadnât wanted to face it. Now, with James here, so close, so real, I finally understood.
I reached for the phone and dialed my boyfriendâs number.
When he answered, I didnât hesitate. âItâs over,â I said, my voice steady. âIâm done.â
 The phone call had ended, but the weight of my past relationship still hung in the air like a fog. I felt lighter, yes, but also rawâexposed in a way I hadnât been before. And there James was, standing close, his gaze never leaving mine. The intensity in his eyes seemed to say everything, everything I hadnât been able to put into words. At that moment, I didnât need words.
His arms pulled me close, his chest rising and falling against mine as he held me tightly. His warmth was intoxicating, grounding me. And with every breath I took, I felt a part of me slip awayâthe burdens, the doubts. But what remained? That unmistakable pull between us.
âYou donât have to carry that anymore, Y/N,â James murmured into my hair, his voice thick with emotion. His fingers trailed gently down my back, soothing and steady.
I nodded, the words a comfort, even though they didnât fully capture everything I was feeling. The relief was there, but there was also something elseâa deep, almost dizzying awareness of him. The way his body felt against mine, the heat that seemed to radiate from him, pulling me in closer with every passing second.
And then, without thinking, I tilted my head up, closing the distance between us, and kissed him.
It started slow, tentative, as if we were both testing the waters. His lips were soft, but there was an urgency behind them, a hunger that matched mine. I felt myself melting into him, responding with equal intensity. His hands found their way to my back, pulling me closer until there was no space left between us. My body pressed flush against his, and I could feel every inch of him, the warmth of his skin, the solidness of his muscles. It sent a shock of electricity through me.
When we pulled back, James stood before me, his eyes locked on mine, a question lingering in his gaze.
âI donât want to rush you,â he says, his voice low, almost hesitant, as if heâs giving me room to decide.
I smile, my heart racing a little faster with the closeness between us. âYouâre not,â I reply softly, taking a step toward him. My fingers hover over the collar of his shirt, and I slowly unbutton the first one, the motion deliberate. Each button undone feels like the quiet shedding of a barrier between us, a promise that weâre both ready for this.
His eyes follow my hands as I slowly remove his shirt, the fabric sliding off his shoulders and falling to the floor. Thereâs a moment where we just stand there, looking at each other, as if taking in the enormity of whatâs happening.
I reach for the hem of my own shirt, pulling it off slowly, the cool air against my skin sending a shiver down my spine. I can feel his gaze on me, warm and searching, but thereâs no judgment. Just a deep, unspoken understanding between us.
James steps closer, his hand brushing against my bare skin as he tugs gently at the waistband of my jeans. He pauses for a moment, looking at me, asking for permission with just the look in his eyes. I nod, my hands moving to help him, pushing the jeans down over my hips.
The sound of fabric hitting the floor fills the room, and for a moment, thereâs nothing else but the warmth of his body just inches away, the air heavy with anticipation. His hands move to my back, slowly undoing the clasp of my bra, his fingers light but sure. I feel a flutter of nerves in my stomach, but they quickly settle as he brushes the straps off my shoulders. Weâre moving slowly, methodically, as if neither of us wants to rush this moment.
I slide my hands up his chest, feeling the strong, steady beat of his heart under my fingertips as I trace the lines of his body. I can feel the heat between us, the way our bodies naturally gravitate toward one another. The last of his clothes fall to the floor, and weâre both standing there, exposed to one another, the air thick with something deeper than just desire.
He pulls me close, his lips finding mine in a soft kiss, a slow exploration that speaks more than words ever could. I press closer, my hands sliding up his back, feeling the heat of his skin, the way his muscles shift as he moves.
Slowly, I guide him toward the bed, crawling beneath the soft covers, my heart racing as I feel the weight of him beside me. He follows, his body pressing against mine in the most comforting way. The warmth of his skin against mine feels like the world stopping, like everything has led to this moment.
 The room is warm, the air thick with the heat of our bodies pressed together. James hovers just above me, his chest rising and falling quickly, and I can feel his presence in every part of me. His body against mine is a perfect weight, pressing me into the soft sheets, and I canât help but respond to every tiny shift of his.
His gaze locks with mine, dark and intense, and his lips are just inches from my neck. Thereâs a brief pause as he takes in the moment, making sure Iâm comfortable, his fingers brushing over my skin as he adjusts himself, moving just a little closer. His breath falters, and I feel the subtle tension in him.
And then, with a slow, deliberate motion, he shiftsâhis body fitting against mine, his breath hot against my skin as he thrusts, just enough to send a wave of heat through me. The feeling is intense, unexpected, and before I can even catch my breath, a soft moan escapes my lips, my body reacting to him instinctively.
James freezes for a split second, his breath shaky, eyes searching mine. His hands move to my waist, guiding me gently as he shifts again, adjusting himself to settle into a rhythm that feels even better, deeper. He looks down at me, and I can see the flicker of desire in his eyes, the way heâs trying to hold back, but canât help but let his body respond to mine.
âYou okay?â His voice is strained, barely above a whisper, and I feel the weight of his concern, the tenderness in his touch.
I nod, my voice barely audible, âYesâŠâ My fingers dig into his shoulders as I pull him closer, urging him to keep going, to keep moving.
James moves again, this time just a little deeper, his breath coming quicker as he adjusts, finding that perfect place where weâre both completely connected. My body reacts, my muscles tightening as I gasp softly, a quiet moan escaping my lips at the sensation.
His breathing becomes faster, more ragged, and I can feel him trembling slightly as he moves again, his hips shifting in perfect rhythm with mine. Every motion, every touch feels like itâs pulling us deeper, and I feel every inch of him, the way his body presses into mine, the way his hands hold me gently yet firmly.
I let out another soft moan, louder this time, unable to hold it back. My body arches up to meet him, my fingers digging into his back as he moves in a slow, deliberate rhythm, deepening the connection between us with each shift. His breath is hot against my neck, his chest pressing against mine, and the sensation is overwhelming, making my heart race even faster.
His voice is low, strained as he leans in, brushing his lips across my jawline. âYou feel so good,â he breathes, his voice thick with desire, and I feel a jolt of warmth race through me at the sound of it.
I pull him closer, my hands tangling in his hair, as my body responds to him with every slow, deep thrust. The pressure inside me builds, every shift of his body sending waves of pleasure through me. And with each movement, I can hear the soft gasps and moans slipping from my lips, the sound of our breathing quickening as we move together in perfect sync.
I can feel him tremble slightly as he adjusts again, his movements becoming more deliberate, more urgent. He shifts again, deeper, and I canât hold back the moan that escapes me, my voice breaking slightly as my body reacts to him, the intensity building between us.
âJamesâŠâ I gasp, barely able to get his name out, and my hands tighten around him as the tension inside me becomes almost unbearable. The way he moves, the way he adjusts to match me, brings us closer, and I feel myself getting closer to the edge with each thrust, each movement.
And then, as the pressure inside me reaches its peak, I let out a soft cry, my body shuddering as I reach that moment, that release. James follows closely behind, his breath shaky as he moves with me, his hands gentle on my skin, holding me close as we both come undone.
We stay like that for a moment, breathing heavily, our bodies still connected, wrapped up in the warmth of the moment. His forehead rests against mine, his breath coming in shallow bursts, and I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, a steady reminder that weâre both here, together.
He brushes his lips over my forehead, a tender, gentle kiss. âAre you okay?â he asks again, his voice soft, almost a whisper now.
I smile softly, my fingers tracing the lines of his back as I nod, my voice breathless. âPerfect.â
James pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me as we lay there, tangled together in the quiet aftermath. The world outside seems so far away now, and all that matters is the gentle rise and fall of our chests, the warmth of his body next to mine, and the quiet peace weâve found in each other.
But then, just as the last remnants of the moment linger between us, James lifts his head slightly, his eyes searching mine with a new intensity. His thumb gently strokes my cheek, and his voice drops to a hushed whisper.
âYouâre mine, Y/n,â he says softly, the words full of promise, raw with emotion. âAnd I wonât ever let anyone harm you. Not now, not ever. Youâre safe with me.â
His lips meet mine in a slow, lingering kissâfull of tenderness, full of everything heâs just spoken. And in that kiss, I feel the truth of his words, the depth of his emotions, and a quiet certainty that nothing could ever take this from us.
As the kiss ends, I whisper softly, my voice full of gratitude, âThank you, JamieâŠâ
He smiles against my lips, the warmth of it reaching all the way to my heart. His hand rests on my cheek for a moment, then moves to gently tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Slowly, he lowers his head, resting it on my chest, his body curling into mine.
I run my fingers through his hair, gently stroking it, savoring the quiet peace between us. The sound of his breathing slows, becoming steady and calm as I hold him close, and for a moment, the world feels perfectly still, just usâtogether.
#metallica#metallica oneshot#metallica fanfiction#metallica fluff#jameshetfield#jameshetfieldxreader#james hetfield fluff#james hetfield one shot#metallica smut#james hetfield smut#james hetfield x you#metallica x you
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I completely agree with you. While I haven't read To Kill a Mockingbird(I haven't read a lot of classics), I really love seeing how other people perceive the world so I do think authors should be given a chance to show their perspective and understanding of how they see the people around them being brutalized solely based on their race and the people who do the brutalizing.
Yes, the N-word is undeniably offensive, but its inclusion in the book isnât gratuitous; it serves a purpose.
The reason why many people were displeased by the author of Storm & Silence using a slur was because his stories rarely address racism. Seeing how Karim, a man from India, was one of the main reoccurring character, I had hoped there might've been some heavy topic surrounding how people treat(I know it's a Wattpad book but stillđ). Yes people called him a brute, savage, made him sleep in the stable, etc. but as an Indian myself, I have heard how many English people treated Indians. I guess because Karim was Rikkard's bodyguard no one dared to say anything too much.
The use of the n word felt out of place and unnecessary in this series. I'm sure people would've still been outraged about it even if the author constantly addressed it. I also feel people would not have liked it if he constantly addressed it because "it's too political for a Wattpad book". Either way the author would've been seen as the bad guy because people always feel the need to put some sort of blame onto to someoneđ
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When he addressed why he used the slur, he said it was for historical accuracy. That made me angry because even if he says he wants historical accuracy, there are many times where his writing contradicts that.
I wonder, does your stance apply only to works on Wattpad, or does it extend to all forms of literature?
I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this. Like I said in the beginning, authors should be allowed to express their view(they should also be aware that there will be criticism no matter what), but there definitely is a difference with stories published on Wattpad.
While it's a platform that allows anyone to publish, it is very much a social media. Many people are able to interact with each other, which includes the author. If you publish on Wattpad, you are most definitely more exposed to other peoples opinions. Other readers also get easy and instant access to these opinions.
Something you might find offensive is not something that will offend others. But once you express that it offended you and others see that, they get offended for you. Eventually it becomes a hate-train where they berate the author saying "you have offended this one person so you are bad". It was probably never purposeful on the authors side, but once people form an opinion of the author, it stays.
I understand that Wattpad allows authors creative liberties and is positioned more as entertainment than as a critical engagement with historical issues. And that's what you disagree with? That Wattpad authors may not always intend to educate or provoke critical thought, whereas canonical literature often seeks to do that?
I'm not much of a writer, but I grew up reading on Wattpad and learned to write as I pleased. It definitely taught me to improve my imagination and creativity. To many young people who read original stories on these platforms are sure to think of these stories as more than just entertainment, but because others see it as a silly and unprofessional platform, it discourages the readers from engaging with it as anything but entertainment. I find it annoying because I've read many original stories that I really loved and wanted my friends to read it too.
I come from a somewhat conservative religious community and there was a lot a things I didn't know about the world. I've only interacted with my classmates and family for most of my childhood and having access to Wattpad other than just published physical books, which I could only discuss with few people, I got to see more and learn more. If I didn't have Wattpad, I don't think I would be as open-minded as I am today.
Many authors publish on Wattpad with the intention of sharing their stories and in many ways they teach a lot of people something new.
I understand the desire to protect young readers from harm, but I worry that in shielding them from uncomfortable realities, weâre doing more harm than good.
I agree with this too. Currently, the US is in the process of getting many books banned for the most dumbest reasons. They always find some reason to remove books from the shelves saying "It's to protect the children". I've read a lot of uncomfortable topics when I was young but it also taught me somewhat of how the world works. If we're not exposed to these stories, no one will learn how to interact with other people or why some people feel the way they do about certain topics.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It was nice to understand how differently you saw that situation. I hadn't given it much thought because I wasn't aware of it until I read about it on tumblr. I saw how many people were outraged and I understood them too. I guess I agreed with them because I didn't fully understand why it hurt them and wanted to support their feelingsđ
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One thing I'll never get over is how Storm & Silence could've easily been so much better if Rob Their(the author) wasn't afraid to actually write a compelling story.
Don't get me wrong, I adore the whole concept of '19 year old Victorian girl dresses up as a man to get a job'. But it's just so poorly written that I think about all the ways the story could be better when I'm in the bus going home from college.
I mean, that's how it is with books, they will be criticized no matter how good or how bad it may be. But then again, this is a Wattpad book. You can never expect too much from a Wattpad book. Every character feels very two dimensional after the first book that every other book after that is just plain fan-service.
The first book is genuinely good, except for the hyper feminist way Lilly is written to be. The author doesn't even bother to add conflict between any of the characters. The ONLY conflict that we ever get is Lilly arguing with Rikkard how she's capable of anything even if she's a women in every single book. It keeps going on and on like this that it just gets boring.
And the way Lilly's intelligence is suppressed makes me mad too. Like in book 3, she literally deciphers a map to find the treasure, but god forbid she recognizes her fiancé's(whether she likes him or not) initials on the waste disposal file and connect the dots on how he and her previous guy(I forgot his name) might've just disappeared. That right there could've been a good conflict. She recognizes the initials, realizes what Rikkard might've done, get angry and argue about not wanting him to interfere with it, then having to find an escape from her next fiancé and choosing to go out of town with Rikkard against her will instead of telling him why bcs she doesn't want a new waste disposal file.
Not to be mean, but the author is a man. At the end of the day, the way female characters are written by men will never be realistic. I know there might be real people out there like Lilly, but the way her "inner feminist"(I hate when she kept saying 'mY iNneR FemIniSt iS prOtEstiNg' stfu) is written truly makes me want to pull my hair out. It will never be same as writing a story from a women's perspective when you already know what it's like. I'm not saying that men are incapable of understanding the female experience, I'm saying that it's stupid and annoying when a man pretends he does.
Also the lack of historical accuracy boils my blood. Rob claims to have done thorough research on every historical details yet somehow Lilly and Rikkard goes on top of the Statue of Liberty despite the story taking place around 1840 and the statue starting its construction in 1876.
SNS was the last and final original story I've read on Wattpad. I really wish I could go back and keep myself away from that app and read an actual book. But it's the only place I could go to when I lost my sanity. Let me know how you feel about the book. I know there's barely anyone in the fandom, but please tell me your perspective.
P.S. can someone tell me where Rob used the slur. I read about many people talking about it but I cannot remember or recognize where it is.
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iâd love to know how much of early day's spn subtext was deliberate or just a happy accident bc the subplot of 1x08 bugs is sam and dean butting heads about how they were raised and sam hating it while dean tells him he should accept it as they protect a family; predominantly a father and son
the father and son argue bc the son is different and not who the father wants him to be while the son feels ignored and shunned (aka sam). sam spends the episode empathising with him and telling him he can look forward to going to college to get away from him just like he did while dean cuts in to say he should stick with his family
the entire episode, dean defends john and the way he raised them ("maybe he needed to raise his voice but sometimes you were out of line"), it even starts with him and sam arguing over their illegal ways of making money and how they were brought up in the life; dean adapting to and enjoying it and sam wanting to be honest and straight
they talk about sam being sure john is and always has been disappointed in him just for dean to say john used to go to stanford whenever he could to check on him and something about his expression is so bitter; like he knows john would never express that care for him
but at the climax when they're trying to get matt to convince his dad to leave, sam is the one telling him to tell the truth and make his dad listen whereas dean tells him to lie; implying he wouldn't trust his son enough to believe him
he outright scoffs at sam and asks him what he was thinking for trying to get matt to tell the truth
the entire episode, dean is advocating for the kid to work it out (almost to just take it) and stay with his family but when push comes to shove, he tells him to lie
sam who spent years resenting john and his family for how they were raised, fell back on "making him listen"; echoing all the arguments he had with john, trying to force him to understand who he is while john's too blinded by vengeance to even begin to try. the same way sam refuses to see how they were raised and why they were raised that way from johnâs point of view, hinting at how similar people they are (which still isnât an excuse but also not the point rn)
dean winchester, the king of repression and masking (and fawning), dean who at this point is still staunchly defending john, tells a shunned kid with a harsh father to pretend in order for his father to care enough to listen to him and believe him
dean knows reasoning won't work bc he's watched it happen over and over again with sam and john
even the way matt tries to say, âbut heâs my⊠(father)â feels like heâs coming over to deanâs point of view; that matt as a son respects his father to enough to tell the truth and no matter how much theyâve fought, that should trump everything. but dean still insists he lies. and matt tells the truth. and his father doesnât listen
there's no way they intentionally made dean subconsciously know that a man raising his son in a mimicry of how john raised them wouldn't respect or trust his son enough to believe him about something potentially life threatening after half a season of john ignoring them about something potentially life threatening
right?
#sam accusing dean of being perfect and thats why john never yelled at him actually makes me crazy#especially when you take in how much dean fawns when hes around john#fawning being the fear response of making yourself as unobtrusive as possible so you dont become a target#deans fawn response is to be the soldier; to always agree and listen to orders and be johns mini replica so he doesnt make waves#its not just him being a good son despite how much thats hammered into us over the course if the show#thats why he tries so hard to get sam to just agree and do as hes told; not just bc he thinks john is right but so it wont cause an argument#arguments he expressly hates despite being highly confrontational with literally everyone else#he only has a fawn fear response when it comes to john and sam; not even bobby gets the same level of repression#anyway i unintentionally started a rewatch and dean flipping on a dime about how the kid should be with his father twigged my interest#and how much of it was intentional? in the good supernatural in my head all of it is#but alas this is the real supernatural and it was probably completely unintentional and means nothing#especially since the episode ends with the kid throwing away the things that make him different#and sam saying he wants to apologise to john in person for the things he said to him when he left for stanford#hes dean says he will apologise then theyll immediately be at each others throats again but he doesnt really progress at all beyond that#he spends the whole episode saying relationships are a two way street and sam said awful things and should pick up the slack between them#and he ends with that same mindset so ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ likely all of it was unintentional#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#supernatural#spn#meta#dean winchester#sam winchester#john winchester#john winchesters a+ parenting
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The Art Of Make-believe Matrimony
Logan Howlett x fem!reader
Summary: You canât stand each other, so itâs a mystery to you and Logan why youâre sent out together on an assignment. To make it worse, youâd have to act much closer than you really were.
Warnings:  mutant!reader (no specific power mentioned, though), fem!reader, enemies to lovers, swearing, fake dating (technically fake marriage), mentions of violence, a little bit of suggestive stuff, a little bit of fluff i guess, and mild alcohol consumption. I think that's all but if i missed any, please let me know! also this is def loosely inspired by the movies 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' and '10 Things I Hate About You'
Word Count: 5K
part 2
ïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł .
You hate the way he dresses.
You hate his stupid hair.
You hate the pet names he calls you.
You hate his voice.
You hate his hazel eyes.
You hate his smile.
You hate Logan Howlett.
It was no secret and neither was the fact that he couldnât stand you either. You bickered like a married couple, constantly fought till you bled when you were training and couldnât go a day without one of you insulting the other. Truthfully, it was probably because you were too alike - fire versus fire - and knew exactly how to press each other's buttons.
Thatâs why you were both confused when you stood in Charlesâ office - dumbfounded expression on your faces - as he told you that he assigned you to a mission together.
âOh, no way,â you nearly laughed, thinking it was a joke.
âYeah, not happening,â Logan agreed. It may have been the only thing youâve ever agreed on.
âThatâs unfortunate for both of you, as I am sending you anyway. You are the only capable people that arenât already out on an assignment or teaching a class full time.â
âHow do you expect us to do it without killing each other?â you raised your eyebrows.
âYou are adults. I trust you will navigate that on your own.â
Logan scoffed beside you, his arms crossed over his chest.
You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration and biting the bullet, âwhat do we have to do?â
âThere is a safe hidden in the home of a very wealthy socialite whoâs been involved in orchestrating attacks on mutants - injecting them with a serum that replaces their mutation gene with that of a normal human,â Charles began to explain.
Your chest felt heavy. It always made you anxious and a little ill when youâd hear the stories of people who hated you so much that theyâd go as far as to harm or violate you in some way, all in the name of trying to rid the earth of you completely or turn you into one of them.
âThe only known sample of the serum is locked in that safe,â he continued, âand I will need you to retrieve it. You are to infiltrate a gathering being held in her home, obtain the contents of the safe and return promptly.â
âSo, weâreâŠgoing to a party?â Logan asked with one eyebrow raised.
âA dinner party,â Charles replied, âand another thing - you must not attend as yourselves. Youâve been invited on the good word of another guest - someone we trust - but youâve been invited as a married couple to avoid arousing suspicion.â
He mustâve been getting some sick enjoyment from this.
âMarried couple,â you repeated, your eyes narrowed, âUs. You want us to pretend to be a couple.â
âWhat, do I have to like - touch her? Iâm not doing that,â Logan piped up.
âOh, iâm so disappointed,â you rolled your eyes, sarcasm clear in your voice, âFuck off.â
âYou fuck off.â
âNo, you fuck off.â
âNo, you.â
âI said it first!â
âEnough,â Charles interrupted, âyou will be attending as Mr. and Mrs. Smith.â
âHuh,â Logan hummed, âthatâs creative.â
âIts inconspicuous,â he replied.
âWhat are our first names, then?â
âYou have creative liberty. I trust you will come up with something just as unremarkable.â
âHow about Sid and Nancy?â you scoffed, chuckling a little in disbelief.Â
âDoes that mean I get to stab you?â
âYouâd miss.â
Charles had his head in his hands.
âHow about Jack and Jill?â
You both turned your heads to him when he spoke, pausing the back and forth between you that you were sure to continue later. You glanced at Logan and shrugged, indifferent to the names.
âThatâll work,â Logan mirrored your actions.
âLovely. Tomorrow evening at five. I will have the address ready. In the meantime, here,â he opened his palm and placed two rings on the table, âthese are your wedding bands.â
You huffed and took the smaller of the two, Logan picking up the plain silver band. Yours was simple - a false diamond in the middle and two smaller ones on each side.
âWhat, you couldnât get me anything bigger?â you joked to Logan, holding up the ring.Â
âOh, you want somethinâ big?â
Your eyes went wide and you elbowed him in the arm, groaning in disgust, âGross.â
â----------------
Five oâclock came fast, your nerves seemingly increasing the speed of time. Youâd made a mess of your wardrobe looking for something to wear that was comfortable, but not too âyouâ. What would a rich person wear to a dinner party? How the hell were you supposed to know?
Some nice pants, a blouse and complimenting shoes would have to do - it was the only thing you had that looked relatively formal. Adding some jewelry made it just a little more convincing.Â
You went down the stairs to meet Logan at the front door, dreading the coming hours. You turned the corner and finally saw him, leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He wore a white t-shirt tucked into his jeans, his boots, and heâd traded his usual leather jacket for a suit jacket. He actually cleaned up pretty nice, but you werenât gonna tell him that.
He heard your footsteps and turned towards the sound. He could feel the sweat starting to form at the back of his neck.Â
Heâd never seen you in anything nice like that - you never really had any occasions to dress up for - and he hated how much he liked it. Your pants hugged you perfectly, your blouse was buttoned low and you even had on a little bit of makeup.Â
âYou donât look too bad,â he managed to comment, opening the door for you.
âThatâs probably the nicest thing youâve ever said to me,â you realized aloud, the both of you heading towards Loganâs truck, âYou look alright.â
âThank you, Mrs. Smith.â
âYouâre welcome, Mr. Smith.â
He opened the car door for you, uncharacteristically gentlemen-like.
You shot him an odd look and got in anyway.
âIâm practicing,â He explained, shutting your door and walking around to slide into his seat, âcanât have anyone thinkinâ Iâm a shit husband.â
âGood luck.â
âUh-oh,â Logan had an amused expression, his eyes glued to the road as you began moving, âthatâs not wife behavior, sunshine.â
âBite Me.â
He clicked his tongue, âFeisty. Oh - I can use that when people ask about us! Iâll say it's one of your absolute worst qualities that any man would be repulsed by, but that our love is blind.â
You scoffed, âGreat, and Iâll get to tell them you spend sixteen hours brushing your hair into cat ears and shed all over the bathroom like an animal.â
âSee - now, that one seems a little personal.â
âIt is.â
âJust pretend for a night that Iâm the man of your dreams, okay?â he asked, âpretend Iâm, uh - I donât know, some celebrity guy you have a crush on.â
You were silent for a second, engrossed in thought, âyou look nothing like Hugh Jackman.â
âWho? You know what - sure, pretend I'm him, alright? Just squint.â
Truthfully - and youâd rather be stabbed than admit it - Logan wasnât far off from who you could picture yourself with. Strong, kind of handsome, good with kids. He was humble, most of the time. He was just terribly annoying and way too cocky.
It wasnât long before he was shifting the truck into park and yanking the keys from the ignition. You let him open your door and walked beside him up the front steps.
âYou ready, Jack?â you teased.
âReady as Iâll ever be, Jill.â
He rang the doorbell and you stood awkwardly, eyes scanning your surroundings. The house was huge - probably only a bit smaller than the mansion - and modern, something probably built in the last ten years. The front lawn was impeccable, as were the marble statues strategically placed between foliage and flora.Â
The door opened and you inhaled sharply, trying to prepare yourself to lie your ass off.
âHello! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Smith! So lovely to meet you, please - come in,â a woman ushered you in, her neck and ears decorated in pearls. You recognized her immediately, Charles having shown you both a picture of the hostess beforehand. You politely greeted her and introduced yourselves, already scanning the room for an emergency exit in case things went sour.
âSo,â she continued talking, leading you to sit in the living room with the other mingling guests,âtell me a little about yourselves! John wasnât very descriptive when he mentioned you. What do you do for work?â
Whoever John was, you silently thanked him.
âUh, well,â you began, nervously glancing at Logan, âIâm a bank teller.â
Plain, boring, inconspicuous,Â
She then looked to Logan expectantly, awaiting his answer.Â
âCage fighter.â
Jesus Christ. You were glaring daggers into the side of his smiling face and he pretended not to notice.
âReally?â the woman in front of you inquired, a hand on her chest. You watched her eyes scan him up and down, landing on the pecs prominent through his shirt. You scoffed out of instinct, faking a cough to cover it up.
âOh, yeah. Undefeated MMA champ.â
You looked away to hide the scowl on your face when your eyes locked on the vodka bottle sitting on the table a few feet away with a collection of other booze. Bingo.
âWill you excuse me for just a moment?â you smiled politely and walked away before Logan could protest, leaving him to his own devices.
You twisted the top off the bottle and picked up a glass, filling it with Vodka and some soda that was left on the table.You almost walked away with it, planning to keep it in your hands until you felt your nerves subside, until you remembered you were supposed to be a wife. Wives brought their husbands drinks, right? Not doing so would look rude and rude might blow your cover. So, you reluctantly picked up another glass and filled it partially with whiskey, knowing it was something heâd drink. You happened to glance across to the kitchen and notice a neat little rack of spices and condiments on the counter. A bottle of soy sauce was front and center, like a message from the universe, and you giggled to yourself as you snatched the bottle and hid it up your sleeve - this could be a good night if you made it entertaining.
You returned to Logan with both glasses, handing him the one filled with significantly darker liquid. He looked a little surprised but accepted it anyway.
âThank you, sweetheart,â he said with narrowed eyes, a look that asked âwhat are you up to now?â
You simply nodded in acknowledgement, smiling at the hostess still standing in front of you.
âSheâs a keeper,â he continued, holding the glass up to his mouth, â always knows exactly what I like.â
You bit back a snicker as you watched him tilt the glass and finally take a sip.
His eyes went to yours immediately. He pulled the glass from his lips, mouth still obviously full of whiskey and soy sauce. If looks could kill, youâd be long dead.
âGood, honey?â you smiled wide then, taking a sip of your own drink.Â
âMhm,â he hummed, clearly fighting a grimace. He swallowed and nearly gagged, coughing into his fist, âmhm, just a little strong.â
âOh,â the hostess began, âJack was just about to tell us how you met!â
A couple of guests had gathered in the same spot, all lingering in a semicircle. Logan was quite the charmer and it wasnât a surprise that he already had a couple of women gawking at him, hanging on his every word as if any of it was true.Â
âWas he?â your tone was shrill but you attempted to appear playful, lightly smacking him on the arm, âOh, honey, you should really let me tell it.â
Whatever he was about to come up with, you hoped it was not in the same outlandish category as cage fighting. Before you could begin, though, he dismissively waved his hand in your direction.
âNo, no - youâre a little forgetful, sweetheart,â his grin was mischievous as he turned to speak to the surrounding guests, âso, it all started with a tshirt competition at a bar where the girls had to - â
âNope! Nope,â you interjected, doing your best to keep your tone light and shaking your head, âhaha - that must have been another girl, honey!â
That earned a few chuckles from the guests around you and you took the opportunity while everyone's attention was on you to try and spin a tale of your own.
âSo, we actually met a couple years ago,â you started, mulling over what true details to sprinkle in or if you should make it up entirely, âuh - in a library.â
It wasnât entirely untrue. Youâd been at the mansion for a couple days before you bumped into him in the library while gathering books to try and put together your first lesson plan. You had a cup of coffee in one hand and a stack of books in the other - admittedly stupid - but youâd always been careful. Except for that once.Â
You had a book open in your arms, resting atop the stack you already gathered. You were walking and reading - again, admittedly not very smart - when you bumped into someone, spilling coffee on both of you and sending the stack of books to the floor with an audible thump.Â
âFuck, sorry -â you began to apologize, finally looking up to the strangers face. It was Logan, of course, though you didnât know that at the time. You remember thinking he was handsome with his scruffy mutton chops and well groomed hair - until he opened his mouth.
âWhat the hell is wrong with you, kid?â
You knew it was partially your fault but were irked by his attitude.
âDude, you werenât paying attention either, obviously!â you snapped back, looking down at the beige stain now adorning your white button up.
âIâm not the one who carries coffee and a shit ton of books at the same time.â
âWhatever.â
That was your grand introduction, neither of you even exchanging names.
Logan remembered it about the same way you did, though the version he tells is a little different. He loved to tell people that when you bumped into him, it was because you were so lovestruck that you just walked right into him. The part he always left out, though, was the first thing he thought when he saw you. Heâd scolded you before even looking up to see who you were and when he had, he wished heâd reacted a little differently.Â
You were beautiful, even with coffee spilt all over yourself. You looked like a girl heâd only ever dreamed of, all the way down to the color of your hair and eyes. Unfortunately, heâd already been an asshole. So, from then on, that was basically your shtick - bickering over little things, calling each other names - all to the amusement of everyone around you. It wasnât meant to be funny, but it was obvious to everyone else that the kind of teasing you did was only because you had feelings for one another - like two elementary school kids - and neither one of you seemed to know how to approach it. The mask would slip sometimes for either one of you - when heâd place a hand on your lower back, the times heâd managed to pin you to the mat during training - and youâd always find yourself staring at the ceiling that night, overthinking every interaction youâd had until the sun came up. He was never any better off, pacing in his room to try and decipher what the hell it was he actually felt for you.
Anyway, you decided to stick to the real story, minus the part where you insulted each other.
âWe bumped into each other, literally, and I had coffee and a bunch of books in my arms. So, I drop the books, coffee spills everywhere - of course. Then I looked up at him, and..â you paused, the truth caught in a lump in your throat.
âAnd it was love at first sight,â Logan added, grinning down at you, âfor both of us.â
His eyes were trained on yours and he continued to contribute to the story.
âThe second I saw her, I fell in love.â
He was still looking at you. Why was he still looking at you like that? You were supposed to be husband and wife, right, but he was leaning into it far heavier than you expected. It felt like you were the only ones in the room.
A couple âawâs were shared between guests and you smiled politely at the reminder that you were in fact not the only people in the room. As the conversation switched to another topic and someone else began to speak, you felt Loganâs hand at the back of your head, gently playing with your hair. Your face was pink - he was being too nice.
A short while later, you were sitting on the couch beside him, listening to someoneâs drawn out story that you stopped paying attention to after six minutes.
âIâm gonna go take a piss,â Logan uttered unceremoniously and stood from the couch. He disappeared into the house and not even a minute later, another guy came to sit in his spot.
âHey,â he put his arm around the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, âI donât think weâve met.â
You looked at the fingers grazing your shoulder and sat forward to shrug them off, ânope.â
He told you his name and you couldnât have cared any less, deciding to actually tune back into the story being told rather than converse with him. He was alright looking, but his approach was far too off putting.Â
âSo, did you come alone?â
You rolled your eyes at his question, opening your mouth to answer before he cut you off.
âCause It looks like it, and I canât stand to see a pretty girl alone.â
You groaned in disgust, hoping if you were dry enough in your answers, heâd leave you be.
âmhm.â
It wasnât really an answer to anything, just a noise of affirmation. You hoped heâd get the hint then, but of course, he didnât. In what would probably be the stupidest thing heâd done that night, the guy moved his arm from the back of the couch so he could squeeze your thigh. Right as you were about to tell him to fuck off, you saw a hand grip his shoulder from behind. Logan was leaning over the sofa, bringing his face a little lower so he wouldnât cause a scene, his dog tags hanging when he leaned forward. He had a death grip on the guy's shoulder while he used his other hand to steady himself against the sofa.Â
âHey, bub.â
The guy looked a little terrified, to say the least, but Logan didnât let up there.
âDo you always go around hittinâ on peopleâs wives? Or is it just mine?â
His eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to run but that wasnât going to happen as long as he was in his grip.Â
âI-I didnât, uh, I didnât know she - â the guy sputtered, trying to nervously laugh it off.
âMhm. Hey, tell you what - why donât you leave my girl alone and maybe Iâll give you a five minute head start to get the fuck out of here.â
He let go of his shoulder and that was enough to drive him away, the guy scurrying to his feet and finding somewhere else to mingle.
You didnât know why you found yourself smiling the moment heâd said âmy girlâ. You rid yourself of it with a shake of your head, reminding yourself you were there to do a job.
âHey,â Logan leaned himself down even further so he could whisper, âI gotta show you something, câmere.â
You quirked an eyebrow at him but got up to follow. He stopped in the hallway in front of the bathroom, looked around to see if anyone would notice you, and promptly dragged you in with him before closing and locking the door. He hit the light switch and you looked around.
âDo you always take girls to the bathroom on first dates?â you teased, crossing your arms.
âYouâd have to go out with me to find out,â he remarked, âbesides, itâs not like that. Look.â
You watched him get low to the ground to open the cupboard under the sink and you crouched with him, following his pointing finger to the wood paneling in the back. It looked like a fake back - a board that appeared to be the back of the cabinet but definitely had something behind it. There was a sliver of metal visible behind it when you shined your phoneâs flashlight.
âI figured we should look everywhere, so while I was in here I was checking it out - saw that. You think thatâs it?â
âCould be,â you answered honestly, âthat, or itâs some sort of electrical box weâre about to rip out of the wall. Itâs an odd hiding spot for a safe.â
âNot really. Think about it - where's the first place youâd look for a safe?â
âBedroom or office, maybe.â
âRight, and where's one of the last places youâd check?â he gestured to the open cabinet.
âUnderâŠthe sink,â you realized aloud, looking between him and the wooden board.Â
âExactly,â he nodded, swiping the contents of the cabinet onto the floor to gain access, âhereâs the thing, though - Iâm too big to get in there.â
He could maybe stick his head in, but in order to duck under the pipes from the sink, heâd need to have shoulders that were much less broad.
You sighed, knowing what that meant.
âAlright, alright - move. This better be it.â
You reluctantly crawled under the sink and into the cabinet on your hands and knees. You yanked the wooden board with all your strength and it came free, revealing a metal safe.
âGot it! You were right, itâs the safe.â
Logan simply hummed in response, clearing his throat. You figured heâd be a little more enthusiastic.Â
Truthfully, he was too busy staring at your ass in the nice pants you were wearing to pay attention. When he heard your voice, he shook his head, as if to rid himself of the thoughts he was having about you so he could think of a response. Heâd always thought you were beautiful, but seeing you all dressed up drove him a little crazy.
âYeah? Is it locked?â
You inspected the metal box, holding the absurdly large padlock hooked around the latch that opened the door.
âUh-huh. Padlock - weâre gonna need the numbers.â
âNo, we donât. Bring it out.â
You did as you were told, crawling back out with the safe under your arm and placing it on the bathroom rug. It was a pretty small one - probably a little bigger than a basketball.
Logan picked it up and set it on the counter beside the sink. He unsheathed a claw and sliced through the metal latch that held the door closed in one swift motion.
âWell, yeah - that's one way to do it,â you shrugged.
âEasiest way to do it.â
He reached in and took out the small glass vial. He put it inside the pocket of his suit jacket.
âWhat if it falls out?â you asked.
âIt wonât.â
âHow do you know?â
âAlright, kid,â he sighed, âwhat do you want me to do with it? âCause iâm sure as hell not lettinâ you carry it.â
You rolled your eyes and looked him over.
âHow about you wrap it in your jacket, like cushioning?â
âFine.â
He reluctantly shrugged off his jacket, keeping the vial in the pocket but folding the jacket into a ball. You hastily replaced everything in the cabinet, safe included, and you followed Logan as he opened the door to step out - only to be met with another guest, her fist raised to knock.
âOh! Dear,â she chuckled, clearly a little startled. She looked to the both of you, a grin appearing on her face, âYoung love, what a gift. Donât worry, I didn't see a thing!â
You shot her a confused look, chuckling nervously before you happened to catch a glance of your reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Your hair was mussed and your blouse was untucked on one side from having to bend up and down. Logan had taken off his suit jacket and you realized what it was she was implying.
âOh, oh - we werenât -â
âItâs alright, honey,â she responded as you stepped out, âlike I said - my lips are sealed.â
She shot you both a wink, went into the bathroom and shut the door.
âShe thought we were fucking in there,â you mumbled, eyes wide in embarrassment.
âIs that so bad?â
You snapped your head towards him, a confused look on your face, âwhat?â
Logan shrugged, âwe're supposed to be husband and wife, aren't we?â
You shook your head in disbelief and decided to ignore him, both of you joining the other guests back in the living room. Dinner was finally ready and everyone took their seats in the dining room. There were a couple of things on the table you couldnât even pronounce.
âIs thatâŠmeat? A vegetable?â you leaned over to logan, whispering behind your hand and nodding towards one of the dishes.
âHell if I know,â he muttered, âI donât think I wanna find out.â
You both piled on the few things onto your plates, poking at it with your forks.
âDo you wanna get a pizza after this?â you whispered.
âDefinitely,â he replied, pushing around an unrecognizable sludge with his utensil.
âSo, how long did you two say youâve been together?â You both looked up, only to be met with the hostessâ stare. You had never mentioned how long youâd been âtogetherâ. Her smile was polite but her stare was piercing, as if she knew something she was not supposed to.
âAbout three years,â you replied, looking to him for back up.
âWe got married a couple months in,â he added, grinning at you. Again, he had that look - like he wasnât just pretending to be in love with you.Â
âWe were in this restaurant - this little place we go to all the time,â he kept talking, âand I just told her I thought she was beautiful, that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.â
âReally? I have to say,â she began, sipping from her glass,â for a young couple who got together so quickly, you two donât seem very affectionate towards each other.â
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
You shot Logan a panicked look, but he appeared unbothered.
âAh,â he clicked his tongue,â itâs this rule sheâs got about PDA. Iâd be all over her if I could.â
You hated the way your face became hot. You couldnât tell if he was leaning into it to be convincing or flirting just to make you flustered. You heard a muffled snicker from somewhere across the table and your eyes shifted to the source - it was the woman from earlier, the one whoâd thought you and Logan were getting busy in the bathroom.Â
âCan I at least get a kiss, babe?â Logan cooed, a smug look on his face.
âWhat are you doing?â you whispered, eyes wide.
âBeing a husband,â he replied in a hush voice.Â
It all happened within seconds. His hands cupped your face, warm and soft, and he leaned in to plant a kiss right on your lips. It was gentle and you melted into his touch, kissing him back. When he pulled away, you were still stunned, your lips parted in surprise.Â
Logan kissed you.
His lips tasted like the remnants of cigar smoke. His touch was nearly intoxicating, like you were drunk off just the way he held you. You inhaled sharply and finally turned your face out of his grip, eyes glued to the table cloth. You had almost forgotten where you were - feeling like the room was spinning - and you let out a nervous laugh.
The topic of discussion moved on quickly and it seemed like any suspicion the hostess had about either of you had dissipated. You and Logan decided to say your goodbyes immediately after dinner, making some excuse about having to wake up early the next morning. When you stepped out and he shut the door behind him, you couldnât hold your tongue any longer.
âWhat the hell was that?â you spat, eyebrows knitted.Â
âWhat was what?â
He was completely nonchalant as he continued to walk next to you towards his truck.Â
âYou kissed me.â
âI did.â
âYou didnât have to.â
He stopped with you at the passenger side of the truck, standing in front of the door so you couldnât get in.
âWhat if I wanted to?â
You swallowed hard. It was dead silent outside, save for the chirping of crickets.
âWhat?â
âI wanted to,â he admitted, chewing his bottom lip, âI wanted to kiss you.â
You didn't know what to say. He hated you, didnât he?
âLogan, I - â
âYou canât tell me you didnât feel anything in there, pretending to be together.â
His voice almost sounded strained, like he was pleading.
âYou donât even like me, you hate me,â you deflected, but he shook his head.
âThatâs not true. I never hated you. I figured youâd hate me after I acted like an asshole when we met, so I went with it. I donât hate you. I think youâre funny, I think youâre pretty - I just never really knew how to tell you that.â
When you only stared in response, he moved aside and opened your door with a defeated sigh. You were still speechless but you hesitantly slid into the seat anyway, letting him close the door. When he got into the driver's side and started the ignition, you couldnât stop looking over at him.
âSo, you like me,â you finally said aloud.
He kept his eyes glued to the road when he responded in a low voice, âwhy do you think I bother you so much?â
âYou pick on me because you like me? Like a little kid?â you couldnât help the amusement in your voice as your confused expression turned to a smile.
You saw him bite back a smile that mirrored yours, shaking his head.
âI guess you could say that.â
âWell, youâre not too bad, you know, and I guess youâre kind of handsome.â
âOh, really?âÂ
âMhm, but donât make me take it back.â
The rest of the short ride home was spent in comfortable silence, both of you seemingly trying to figure out where youâd go from there. When Logan parked his truck and got out, he came around your side to open your door. You hopped out and he shut the door for you, but grabbed your hand before you started to walk away.
âHey, câmere for a second.â
You let him pull you a little closer, intertwining both your hands. The evening air was chilly and you could see his breath in the air when he spoke.
âCan I kiss you, for real this time?â
You could feel your heart beating fast and you nodded eagerly. The second you did, his lips were already on yours. His hands let go of yours to settle in your hair, threading the strands between his fingers. His touch felt warm in comparison to the cold air and you leaned further into him with your hands gripping his jacket to pull him close. When he pulled away, he rested his hands on your waist and planted another kiss on your forehead.Â
âMaybe we could, uh, try again,â he cleared his throat, running his hands up and down your sides, âbe nice to each other this time.â
Truthfully, you couldnât hate Logan, even though you tried.Â
You couldnât hate his perfect hair.
You couldnât hate his sweet voice.
You couldnât hate his kind smile.
You couldnât hate the way he dressed.
You just couldnât hate Logan Howlett.Â
So, you kissed him again, smiling against his lips and letting him hold you as close as possible, almost lifting you off the ground with his arms around you.
âWe should probably go inside, huh?â you mumbled when you leaned back, lightly scratching the mutton chops on the side of his face in an affectionate manner. Those were another thing youâd pretended to hate - probably because you were embarrassed to admit you thought he pulled them off well.
âAs you wish, Mrs. Smith.â
He held his hand out for you to take and you did, eyeing the ring on your finger.
âYou know,â you held up your hand to show him the jewelry, âI think iâll keep this.â
He grinned, bringing your knuckles to his lips and leaving a chaste kiss, âI think i'll keep mine, too.â
You were both still holding hands when you went inside, blushing like two little kids. You were so engrossed in one another that you didnât notice Jean and Ororo in the hallway ahead of you as he leaned down to kiss you again. Now that he knew he could actually do it, he couldnât help himself.
âIâll take it your night went well,â Ororo giggled, Jean doing the same. You jumped a little in surprise, covering your pink face in mild embarrassment.Â
âWhat changed? I thought you hated each other,â the latter of the two asked.
âEh, heâs not so bad,â you teased, shrugging your shoulders.
ââTurns out, we make a pretty good fake husband and wife,â he explained, âI guess we got a little too carried away with it.â
As the two of you walked hand in hand further down the hall, Ororo elbowed Jean lightly, leaning over to whisper behind her hand.
âYou owe me twenty bucks.â
ïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË âïœ„Ëł . â .ËłâșâË â
A/N: If you've made it this far, thank you sm for reading!! I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this as is or add smut so I'll leave it how it is and if enough people ask for it, I can make a part two <3 pls reblog and like if you enjoyed/want more and my inbox is always open :)
Edit: here is the link to part 2!
#wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlet smut#wolverine smut#logan wolverine
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LOVER'S QUARREL
- fushiguro megumi x reader
âi can't do this anymore.â you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.
genre/warnings: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)
note: dear god iâm finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events iâve seen around my friendâs relationship sooo it might hurt a bit đ€đ» but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!
a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT
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Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.
And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumiâs sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.
But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldnât help but do a double-take.
You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.
You never realized it before⊠that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.
So how dare he spout this now?
âI can't do this anymore.â
"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"
"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."
This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.
You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"
"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."
Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.
Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.
"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really wantâ"
Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's betterâ"
"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunchesâeverything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"
In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.
And yet...
"...I'm sorry."
Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.
And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."
As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.
Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."
You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful mannerâwhich, indeed, was your intentionâand then you ran.
Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.
Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.
"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.
"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."
"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"
"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."
"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."
. . .
"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.
Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. âThis is for the best.â
Yujiâs eyebrows visibly creased. âHow is this âfor the bestâ? Sheâs miserable, and youâŠâ he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, âit doesnât seem youâre faring any better too.â
âThe longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.â Megumi glanced at the bathroomâs direction. âShe can deserve better.â
He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldnât fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.
Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, butâŠ
How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?
Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.
With Hakari.
âYo, what are you glaring at?â Panda asked, but Megumi didnât pay him any mind.
An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have funâall in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.
Three weeks. Itâs only been three weeks since then.
âMegumi?â
Wait⊠Arenât three weeks too fast to get over your ex?
âMegumi!â
âHuh?â he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. âOh, what is it?â
He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."
But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.
"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but youâ"
"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.
From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.
...huh?
Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?
What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.
Suddenly these memories popped up one by oneâ
Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.
How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.
How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.
But on harder days after missions gone wrong, heâd ignore you altogetherâ the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.
âHaaaah.â Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadnât it occurred to him before now?
Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?
They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.
What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?
You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!
You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...
"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.
You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."
This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memoriesâokay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?
Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.
"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.
Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."
You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.
Stay close, he said... So he is worried...
And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.
You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"
"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.
"You two seem close."
Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?
Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"
In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.
You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?
"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.
Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.
But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"
Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.
For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.
Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.
And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"
"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"
He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.
You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"
"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.
"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.
"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What aboâ"
Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcisedâ
At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.
He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere andâ
Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.
You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffledâthe frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.
Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feetâfalling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.
And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.
"You stupidâ!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake upâhellsâ"
You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself firstâand now facing the consequences.
It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.
"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."
Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your bloodâand how lifeless you felt in his graspâbut he willed it away.
"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.
"Don't leave me."
It was like a distant, hazy memory.
Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.
The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.
You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.
Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.
Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.
Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...
You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.
"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."
When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.
"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minorâit's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."
You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.
âWhy did you do that?â he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.
He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.
"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.
However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."
...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?
"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."
"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'mâ"
"If it's because I saved you, Megumiâ"
âDo not even think, even for a moment, that I wonât be concerned over you.â His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. âNever. I always, always want you to be safe.â
Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.
"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be hereâ" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "âfor you?"
You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within youâstemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.
You dumbly uttered, "But we areâ"
"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.
He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."
And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, andâdamn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."
Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."
And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.
âI'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,â he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. âAnd I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.â
A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.
But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."
And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.
"Maybe I am, yeah."
"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."
"Yeah..."
But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.
On one sunny day...
"Hey, are you alone?"
Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.
"No. Can I help you?"
The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cuteâ"
The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind whenâ
Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongueâthat accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.
"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."
Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.
"Megumi!"
Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside himâ
He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.
"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"
#fushiguro megumi x reader#jjk x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader angst#megumi fushiguro x reader fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader fluff#fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#fushiguro megumi fluff#fushiguro megumi x y/n#fushiguro megumi angst#jjk#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro#jjk angst#jjk fluff
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Be with me- JJK
Summary: Breaking up with Jungkook was supposed to be your freedom from his obsession, but heâs never been one to let go easily. His presence lingers, stalking you even in places you thought were safe. When you finally agree to meet him after the break up, what should have been a simple talk turns into a moment where you 'keep your promise'.
Pairing: yandere ex bf jungkook x ex gf y/n
Genre: smut
Warnings: yandere tendencies, unprotected sex, jk is a freak, dirty talk, voyeurism, rough sex, manipulation, stalking, dub con, sex while being unconscious, recording while fucking, tit slapping, name calling, nipple sucking, groping, jerking off, cumming inside, fighting, jungkook is crazy about yn.
Word count: 8.4k+
Writer: ririđ§
Writer's note: â ïžthis fic contains sensitive contents, which may be triggering to some readers, including adults. please refrain from reading if any of the warnings trigger you. if you still proceed to read my fic, you're on your own. i will not be responsible for your ass, respectfully.â ïž
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You knew you were royally fucked when you laid in your exâs arms that night, him stroking your hair softly as he drew invisible circles on the small of your back. This was it again. He was back in your life. You let him. You didnât had a choice.
Thats when you realized
The only way to get rid of Jungkook,
Was to be with Jungkook...
You were a beautiful woman, with big eyes, a perfect body, pearly white teeth, and certainly popular among men. Jungkook absolutely hated how other men ogled you. You were his woman, not theirs. He couldnât stand how you laughed with your male friends, or how your girlfriends giggled whenever a man eyed you from head to toe. He despised it. And you hated how overprotective he was.
His intense jealousy often ruined social events, and slowly, you began to isolate yourself from friends. You feared his angry outbursts more than you enjoyed your social life.
âWhy were you talking to him for so long? Donât you know how much it hurts me to see you with someone else? You belong with me, only me.â
He insisted on knowing your whereabouts, your schedules, and even installed a tracking app on your phone, claiming it was for your own safety. Jungkook loved you so much that he couldnât bear the thought of you getting into any âtroubleâ. The world was too dangerous.
âI just worry about you so much. This way, I can always make sure youâre safe. You donât mind, do you? Itâs because I love you.â
His constant checking on you started to feel more like surveillance than care. You hated it, but you loved him.
At first, you found his constant attention flattering, but his possessive grip on your hand felt tighter with each passing day, as if he feared you might slip away if he let go.
âI canât stand being away from you for even a moment. The thought of anyone else seeing you, talking to you⊠it drives me crazy. Youâre mine, and I need you to know that.â
Jungkook wasnât always like this, you swore to your friends. You knew he was a great boyfriend. They just didnât know him the way you did. He took care of you, wanted to protect you from everything in this world. You were his heart. He often bought you gifts to show his love for you. You loved when he gave you a beautiful necklace, a token of his love for you that you were supposed to wear all the time.
âThis necklace is a piece of my heart, Y/N. I want you to wear it always, so everyone knows youâre taken. Promise me you wonât ever take it off.â
As time went by, what seemed like a romantic gesture became a chain, a constant reminder of his possessiveness and ownership over you. Jungkook would get so upset if you ever forgot to wear it. Why did you have to remove it in the first place? Didnât you love him enough to keep his necklace close to your heart?
âHeâs too controlling!â your friends said, but Jungkook wasnât controlling. He just wanted you to himself. Youâre his girlfriend, right?
Jungkook wasnât possessive or controlling, but he didnât like when you snapped at him for being too possessive and controlling. Mind you, he was just teaching the guy a lesson for asking to buy you a drink. He had to teach him a lesson. So what if he broke his nose? So what if he threw a few punches? Nobody flirts with HIS woman.
âhe wasnât flirting with me!â
âOh, shut up, Y/N! He clearly wanted to get into your pants!â Jungkook snapped.
You scoffed at his remark. Was he serious? So what if the man was flirting? He didnât know you were taken. And even if he did, he didnât deserve to get beaten up so brutally that the bar had to kick you both out and ban your entry in the future.
âThis happens every time, Y/N! Every. fucking. time!â Jungkook was fuming.
âI donât like it when they see you like youâre a piece of meat. Canât you see how beautiful you are, baby? A body so flawless, men canât help but be drawn to you. Youâre mine⊠and I donât like to share whatâs mineâŠâ
Damn. There he was again, turning a heated argument into an emotional conversation in the blink of an eye. You hated how smooth he was, how heâd come closer and wrap his arms around you, whispering sweet apologies in your ear. You hated how you always gave in to his embrace. It was like this every time. Your friends wanted you to break up with him, but he always had you like this. In his arms, where he glided his hand down to cup your ass firmly, giving it a possessive squeeze.
You hated how hot he was⊠so uncontrollably hot. And you hated how this night was going to end⊠yet again.
âF-fuck!â you whimpered at the animalistic pace Jungkook was pounding into you. Jungkook groans as your cunt wraps around him so wet and perfectly, grinding on him back and forth.
âYou love it slut? Looking like a cock hungry slut for my dick. Gonna bust my nut right fucking now because of how wet you are.â Jungkook groaned, maintaining his pace, pounding hard and fast into to.
âO-only for y-your dick daddy! so big and hardâ you mewled, a tiny droplet of tear falling out of your eye at the pleasure.
Jungkook was fucking good at fucking good.
âYeah? gonna make make you cum so hard whore, youâll forget your own name.â He moaned out, not slowing down his face. He loved the dirty talk during sex. and so did you. it was fucking hot.
Jungkook knew you were close when he felt you tightening around him. He took his camera, like he always did, and turned it on to record your precious expressions of the pleasure that he gave you.
He loved recording you.
And you loved to get recorded.
Jungkook thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. Looked so fucking cock riding out your climax as your face contorted, letting out a thread of profanities from your mouth. He loved to keep a record of your beautiful tapes. Only for hime; Only for his eyes to see.
He kissed your temple lightly, cradling you in his arms after doing the deed. You looked so angelic after the afterglow.
âYou did so amazing baby⊠so pretty moaning my name like that. i could listen to you for years.â Jungkook said, playing her tape, replaying her sweet moans again and again. Fuck, he means when he says that.
âTell me Y/N, would you let me record you sleeping, babyâŠ?â
You hummed lightly, lying boneless in his arms humming at whatever stupid request he was making. You were used to him rambling, you had jeon wrapped around your fingers.
âReally babe? you'd let me fucking record you while i use your body while you're asleep?â
Jungkook asked, excitement evident in his voice. Just the thought of recording your tape while youre sleeping⊠it turned him on so much.
âPromise me Y/N. You wont back off, right?â
âAlright, babyâŠâ you murmured softly, your voice laced with exhaustion.
âYou canât back off now,â he whispered, his breath warm against your ear, eliciting another sleepy hum from you. He pressed a tender kiss to your temple, his fingers gently combing through your soft locks until you slipped into a much-needed, peaceful slumber. After what felt like an eternity, he carefully disentangled himself from your embrace and sat up, his back resting against the headboard of your bed.
Jungkook reached over to the nightstand, picking up his camera with a reverent touch. He lowered the volume to ensure your sleep remained undisturbed. His eyes gleamed with possessive pride as he played the video he had recorded just moments ago. Your face, captured in the throes of pleasure he had bestowed upon you, was a sight that fueled his obsession. He couldnât resist the allure of watching his recordings of you over and over. To him, you looked utterly captivating, a vision of raw sensuality.
He was consumed by an all-encompassing obsession. Heâd rewind the tapes countless times just to hear his name fall from your lips again. Each repetition sent shivers of satisfaction down his spine. He could lose himself in those recordings for days, weeks, even months, relishing in the intimacy they captured.
Only he deserved to see you like this. Only he had the right to make you scream in ecstasy. Only he was entitled to touch you in such intimate ways. He wanted to be the sole possessor of your every touch, every glance, every breath. The thought of anyone else witnessing your beauty, your vulnerability, was unbearable. You were his. His woman. He was your lover, your protector, your everything. Only he deserved to see your pictures and videos.
Hell, only he deserved to see you at all...
7:47 PM
You turned your phone screen off after checking the time, stretching your back as you rubbed your sore eyes. You got up from your chair, feeling your spine crackle and pop with relief. After all, you had been hunched over your laptop for the past two hours, grinding away at your English assignment. Even though they were enjoyable in their own way, but they could be a real headache, especially when it came to meeting Professor Smith's sky-high standards. She was a tough cookie, but thats what made her challenging assignments even more interesting. You wandered over to the window, taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air and clear your head now that you were free for the rest of the weekend.
You were hungry. After working your ass off on that assignment, you were finally free for the rest of the weekend. There was nothing better than cooking up something for yourself and sinking down on your bed to watch Bridgerton. The night was still young. You could hear the faint sounds of crickets coming from your bedroom windows, even though they were locked. you slowly opened the windows and felt the cool air caressing your face in the moonlight. You loved summer nights. You loved how lively they were and how the cool breeze flowed through the balcony of your apartment building, even though it was a hot season.
You slipped on your slippers, intent on cooking something quick for the night, when the faint glow of your phone screen caught your eye, indicating a notification received on silent mode. Curiosity piqued, you picked it up and saw a new message from an unknown number. The message was short, just a few cryptic words that sent a shiver down your spine. You couldnât shake the strange feeling that crept up in your chest as you read it, like someone unseen was watching, waiting for your response.
[Unknown]: âAll done with work, baby?â
You didnât know who this person was or how they knew you were free now. A strange unease settled over you, but you couldnât quite pinpoint why. Maybe it was curiosity, or perhaps a nagging sense of denial that urged you to dismiss "it". Taking a slow, deep breath, you hesitated before finally deciding to text the person back.
[You]: âWho is this?â
You hit the send button after which you got a reply almost immediately.
[Unknown]: âItâs me, babe. JK.â
So it was him again. âWhat did he want now?" You muttered to yourself, a mix of frustration and anxiety rising within. It had been three months since you finally ended things with him, discovering the invasive cameras he had installed in your home to monitor your every move. He didn't stop there; he even sabotaged your social media, deleting precious memories and controlling what you could share, claiming you were only meant for "his eyes" to see. You couldn't tolerate his manipulative and possessive behavior any longer, and that was when you finally decided to cut ties for good.
You still remembered how he acted up on the day you decided to end things with him...
âYou cant do this to me! I love you!â
âI donât care Jungkook! What you did was unforgivable. Weâre done.â
Your words broke Jungkook. His hands were shaking, eyes filled with tears. He gave you your everything and you were breaking up with him, like nothing mattered to you. All he wanted was to protect you from everyone. You were his.
âNo, weâre not done, Y/N. We are not done.â
He sees you stand near the window, looking out at the city lights, your arms crossed defensively. Heâs sitting on the couch, his eyes fixed on you, a mix of desperation and anger in his gaze.
"I can't do this anymore. This-whatever this is-it's not love. It's suffocating.â You declared, your voice firm.
"I did all of that because I love you, dammit! I can't stand the thought of anyone else seeing you, touching you, being near you. You're mine, and I need to protect yoââ
âProtect me!? Really, Jungkook?â You scoff, turning to look at him, all desperate. You knew he was shaking, but didnât know why. It could be sadness, anger or desperation. But you refused to gave in. âProtect me by Sabotaging my social media? Protect me by tracking my phone? By deleting my online presence? You deleted my emails, Jungkook!â
âThis isnât true, baby. I just want the best for you, pleasââ
âGet out of my house, Jungkook.â You cut Jungkook off. You knew you had pissed him off, but this needed to be done.
Jungkook didnât like how straight off asked him to leave your apartment. You never told him what to do. so why now? he didnât like it one bit. He stood up abruptly, knocking over the coffee table in his anger. His face contorted with rage and desperation.
"You can't leave me! I won't let you. You need me. No one else will love you like I do. You know that." Jungkook spat. âIf you loved me, Youâd have known i was doing this for us, Y/N! Goddamit!â
You flinched at his words, but your relsove did not harden.
âGet out before i report you for stalking and spyingâ
Jungkookâs face hardened.
âso youâll report my love now, huh?" He narrowed his eyes, taking some calculative steps towards you.
âYouâll get no one, Y/N mark my words. No one whoâll love you like me. I have always loved you. I have always cared you for you. I have always wanted to protect you. cant you see that baby? i have always loved you, my angel. I can change, just give me a chanceâŠâ He spoke, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek.
You flinched at his touch, your resolve hardening. You did feel a little sad about the situation, but you knew you had to do it. You had to distance yourself from him. Whatever this was, it wasnât healthy.
"It's too late for that. You need help, and I can't give it to you. Leave.â
âYou think youâll ever find someone like me, little brat? No one will want you! Because they dont love you the way i do! so stop being a bitch.â
âJungkook. leave.â
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and fury.
âThis isnât over, Y/N.â Jungkook spoke as hep turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
Jungkook didnât take the breakup well. He was absolutely shattered when you ended things with him. He never expected it from you, and the shock was too much for him to handle. In the days following the breakup, his messages became relentless. He would text you at all hours, begging you to take him back, saying he couldnât imagine life without you. At first, you tried to respond politely, but his persistence became overwhelming. It felt like every time you looked at your phone, there was another message from him, each one more desperate than the last. Eventually, you couldnât take it anymore. His constant pleas were starting to get under your skin, and you needed space to move on. So, you blocked his number, hoping that would be the end of it. Since then, the silence had been a relief. But a small part of you couldnât help but wonder if he had really given up, or if he was just biding his time.
Till today.
He was texting you with a new numberâŠ
[You]: What do you want, Jungkook?
[Unknown]: i just want to talk, Y/N.
[Unknown]: please...
[You]: No
[Unknown]: i want to make it right baby⊠i am not asking you to take me back. just please see me this once.
[Unknown]: just want a closure
[Unknown]: if you ever loved me youâd do this
[Unknown]: lets talk for the last time baby
[Unknown]: like adults
You sighed reading his messages. You knew he was watching you. there was no point in ignoring him. you just wanted to get this over with. You still loved jungkook but staying together with him was a BIG NO for you. You took a deep breath and typed out your next text.
[You]: Just talk right?
[Unknown]: yesss baby just wanna talk. donât expect you to take me back
[Unknown]: miss your face
[Unknown]: let me see you for the last time :(
[Unknown]: i am outside your apartment building. know you are free right now.
[You]: Fine. But dont get your hopes up.
[Unknown]: i wont, i wont baby. be right there
You nervously started fidgeting around your room, playing with your fingers and pacing back and forth. It was sinking in just how dumb a decision you had made by inviting your ex over to talk. Not just any ex, but him. Jungkook. The thought of him coming over filled you with a mix of dread and curiosity. How did he even know you were free right now? You decided to push that unsettling question aside, focusing instead on the fact that Jungkook could arrive at any moment.
In a rush, you dashed to the bathroom to brush your tangled hair, hoping to look at least somewhat presentable, regardless of your relationship status. Anxiety spread through your body like wildfire as you heard the doorbell ring.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Jungkook was here.
And YOU gave him the permission to do so.
But you wanted to get this over with. nothing else. theres no way you and jungkook would get back together, he knew that too. it was just a friendly talk and you both will part ways after that. Taking a deep breath, you slowly walked over to the door.
Heart pounding, you opened the door to find Jungkook standing there, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hey," he greeted softly, holding up a takeout bag. "I brought us some food.
Thought we could eat and talk things through."
Food. Were we going to have a long chat?
You forced a smile, stepping aside to let him in. "Hey, thanks. That's really thoughtful of you." As he walked past, you caught a whiff of his familiar cologne, stirring up a whirlwind of memories.
You both settled on the couch, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife.
Jungkook unpacked the food, handing you a container. "I got your favorite teokbokki" he said, his voice gentle, almost apologetic. "I remember you always loved this place."
He remembersâŠ
You took the container, your hands trembling slightly. "Thanks, Jungkook. I appreciate it." You hadn't eaten all day and your stomach growled in protest, but a part of you was reluctant to accept anything from him.
Jungkook noticed your hesitation and frowned slightly. "What's wrong? He questioned. âYou don't trust me?"
Absolutely not.
"It's not that," you lied, forcing a laugh. "I'm just not that hungry."
His eyes darkened for a moment, but he quickly masked it with a reassuring smile. "Come on, just a few bites. I promise, it's safe. I wont kill you or something." He said nonchalantly, making you gasp. You didnât trust this man one bit. But you needed to get things over with.
Reluctantly, you picked up a fork and poked at the food. Your stomach growled again, louder this time, and you gave in. "Fine, but just a little." The corners of Jungkookâs lips turned upward at your decision.As you took a bite, Jungkook watched you intently, a strange glint in his eyes. "See? Not so bad, right?" You nodded, chewing slowly. "Yeah, it's good."
He relaxed slightly,opening his own container and taking a bite. "I've missed you, you know," he admitted after a moment, his eyes meeting yours. "I know things ended badly between us, but l've been thinking about you a lot."
You swallowed hard, your mind racing. "I've missed you too, Jungkook. But a lot has happened. It's not that simple. Especially after what you did. it makes me want to rethink my choices that why even are you in my house in the first place."
"I know," he replied, his voice earnest. "But i love you, Y/N. i really do. I might a been a little controlling but i never thought anything bad about you. I just wanted to look out for you, baby.â Jungkook sighed, before continuing. âBut I want to make it right. I want to fix things between us."
You continued to eat, each bite filling your empty stomach but doing little to ease your nerves. The food tasted a little strange, but you brushed it off, just like you brushed off his bullshit. You didnât wanna have this âi DiD wHaT i DiD bEcAUsE i LoVe YoUâ.
"So, what have you been up to?" you asked, trying to start a conversation.
"Just the usual," he said, shrugging. "Work, gym, thinking about you. You know, the usual."
You laughed lightly, though it felt forced. "Yeah, I know the feeling."
After a few minutes of normal conversation. You did ease yourself a little in his presence. He didnât seem too persuasive. Maybe he really just wanted to have a conversation. Though, it was unlike Jungkook but he did seem less Jungkook-ish this evening. And it wasnât normal.
a normal Jungkook, a normal conversation and this bad headache.
Nothing was normal.
You started to feel dizzy, your vision blurring. "Jungkook... I don't feel so good," you mumbled, dropping your fork. Jungkook's expression shifted, a frown forming on his lips, along with a crease forming between his eyebrows. He was worried.
But was he? A hint of something dark flashing in his eyes. But he didnât wanted to show it to you. Yet.
"Maybe you should lie down," he suggested, his voice smooth. "I'll take care of you." He said, getting up to hold you by your shoulders lightly.You tried to stand, but your legs gave out, and Jungkook caught you, his grip firm.
âShh⊠its okay⊠youâre gonna be alright. Just a little headache and dizziness for an hour or so. you wont get unconscious, donât worry baby.â He cooed, slowly guiding you towards your bedroom
Panic started to rise as you started to breathe heavy, your body growing heavier. Though you were still conscious, you had almost no control over your body. âWhat did you do?" you whispered.
"Shh," he soothed, brushing a strand of hair from your face as he laid you on the bed. "It's just something to help you relax. We need to talk, really talk, without any distractions. Gotta talk about your fake promises that you made with me, pudding."
Your vision blurred, and you fought to stay in control. "Jungkook, please..."
Your vision swam as Jungkook's words echoed in your ears, his tone shifting from gentle persuasion to something more intense. "I did everything to love you. Protect you. even built a shrine for our love." he murmured, his grip tightening on your arm. "But you left me. You broke your promise."
Fear and confusion clouded your mind, but his proximity and the drug's effects left you unable to resist. "JungkookâŠ" you managed weakly, your voice barely audible. He leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear.
"I can't let you go, i wont let you go," he whispered, his fingers tracing along your jawline. "You made a huge mistake by breaking up with me, Y/N. And iâll make you regret it today. Youâre mine.â
You swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Despite the fear of his threat, a part of you recognized the desperation in his eyes, a twisted kind of love. obsession.
"Okay," you finally breathed out weakly, hoping to calm him down, to keep yourself safe. Maybe agreeing was the safest option for now, a way to gain his trust. Deep down, you knew this was far from over, you played along, hoping to keep yourself safe from his dangerously twisted self.
His expression softened slightly, a manic gleam in his eyes as he pulled you closer. "I knew you'd understand. Had no choice. Gotta love you some more. Need to keep our promises alive." he murmured, a dangerous edge to his voice. Though his embrace was not something you should enjoy at the moment, you felt a surge of relief mixed with dread.
Your mind raced as Jungkook's grip on you tightened, his words cutting through the haze of the drug. "You're mine, Y/N." he whispered, his voice a chilling blend of possessiveness and longing. "No one else can have you."
You forced yourself to stay calm, nodding weakly in agreement."I know, Jungkook, I belong to you.â You managed to say, your voice trembling.
He nodded, a dark satisfaction crossing his features. "That's right," he murmured, his hand trailing possessively down your arm. "We'll fix everything. Just you and me."
You flinched inwardly at the intensity of his gaze, his touch sending shivers down your spine. "I'm sorry for leaving, kookie. I couldnât see how much you were looking out for me." you offered softly, desperate to placate him, to find a way out of this nightmare.
Kookie. He missed that. He smiled, a hint of warmth in his gaze, contradicting his devious smile.
"You'll make it up to me, I won't let you go again." He insisted, his voice firm.
As his words sank in, a sinking feeling settled in your stomach. You knew this wasn't right, that you shouldn't have to endure this kind of control. But for now, you had to play along You were drugged by this man. And he was crazy.
Jungkook leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "You're mine forever," he breathed, his grip on you unyielding. "And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you." Fear mingled with resignation as you nodded weakly, hoping beyond hope that this little act of yours would finally set you free in the future.
"You have to understand," Jungkook continued, his voice low and urgent. "I can't let anyone else have you. If you try to leave again, I'll... I'll do things you wouldn't like, and you know how persuasive i can be, babyâŠ" His words sent a chill down your spine, the threat hanging heavy in the air.
"Kookie, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed some time."
His expression darkened, his grip on you tightening almost imperceptibly. "Time? You had all the time in the world with me," he growled softly.
"But you ignored everything i did for you, Chose to walk away. You made me promise things, and you broke them."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words, to calm him down without provoking him further, despite being hazed. "I'm sorry," you slurred, your voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt you, babyâŠ"
He studied you for a moment, his gaze intense and searching.
"I know," he finally said, his tone softening slightly. "That's why l'm giving you another chanceâŠâ
You sighed in relief, only to gasp after.
âRemember babe? You promised to let me record youâŠsleepingâ
âP-promised youâŠ?
âTell me Y/N, would you let me record you sleeping, babyâŠ?â
You hummed lightly, lying boneless in his arms.
âReally babe? youd let me fucking record you while i use your body while youâre asleep?â
âPromise me Y/N. You wont back off, right?â
âAlright, babyâŠâ
âYou canât back off now.â
âY/N?â Jungkook shaked you lightly, dizziness evident in your eyes.
âYeah..?â
âI wanna fuck you and record you while youâre asleep. You wanted to earn my forgiveness, right? We can start off by completing the promises you made.â Jungkook said, almost in a quiet tone, staring right into your eyes.
You gulped in nervousness over his words. You had no choice.
You wanted to save yourself from Jungkook
and that could be only done
by being JungkookâsâŠ
You nodded sofly, a hint of small smile playing on your lips, as you stared at his beautiful brown eyes.
Jungkook looks so sweet. Too sweet that you almost forgot who he really is.
âOf course kookie⊠Iâd do anything to earn your forgivenessâŠâ
Jungkook slowly slumps down your unconscious body on the bed. He felt a surge of excitement, as he was finally be able to do what he had been wanting to, from a long time, and youd finally be able to keep your promise.
Promises arenât meant to be broken, you both know that. Jungkook loved how he still had you in his arms even after everything that happened. Thats the power of the shrine he made at his home of your knick knacks. He knew his love held an immense power as you, the love of his life had finally decided to open your eyes and see what Jungkook was doing for you.
He was your savior. Your lover. Your life.
If it hadnât been him, youâd have been so lost. so hurt, so vulnerable, so messed up. Mind you, you could have even be murdered by someone.
Or by Jungkook, if you werenât his.
But you had Jungkook
He was your life. He knows it.
He stared down at your soft body, lying unconscious on your pink sheets, that smells like vanilla. Jungkook knew you loved him and wanted to prove it when you agreed to take on the sleeping pill 10 minutes ago. You were his. His to use, his to love, his to fuck.
It didnât take Jungkook long to strip your clothes away from your body, laying you in nothing but your light pink cotton lingerie in front of his gaze. Even though he had seen you without them countless times, (well in the past), it felt like he went through a jolt of electricity, sending shivers straight to his spine, a smirk to his lips.
Jungkook's smirk turns into a wicked grin as he looks down at your unconscious body, his fingers staring to trace over the smooth texture of your skin. His eyes glint with excitement and desire, once seeing your fluffy breasts, his cock standing in salute.
"Fuck, you have amazing tits, baby..."
Jungkook mumbles to himself, as he takes a second to admire them before pulling your bra down to free your tits. Wasting no time, He leaned down, taking the soft flesh in his mouth, his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking softly, swallowing around it, tongue flicking it inside his mouth. They were for him to squeeze, kiss, lick and pinch, after all.
He couldnât get enough of you, like ever. And so, for a brief moment, he pulled away, releasing your wet and tortured nub, as we walks to his drawers, taking out the same camera he used everytime you to did stuff together.
"This is going to be so fucking hot. I am going to make you mine again, baby. I missed you so muchâŠ"
Jungkook turned on the camera. The small red light near the lens indicated the video had started recording. Jungkook makes his way to the bed again, where you were lying there completely at his mercy. He slowly settles himself down beside you, moving the camera closer to your body, recording every inch of you as if he was doing it for the first time. It was Getting hot. You were hot. Jungkook gulped as he slowly removed his white tee, showing off his soft traces of abs and the tattooed arm. He added a few more to his sleeve tattoo collection when you two were not together. Jungkook turned on the air conditioner and sets the temperature on 24. Perfect.
He drifts his attention back to you, his hands move up to your already freed and sucked tits, touching and squeezing them, making sure to get a close-up. His mouth finds a way to your neck, taking in a whiff as he kissed it slowly, his lips wet against your neck. His fingers knead into the flesh of your tits, nipples hard in his palm as he relieves his stress.
He then moves his hand down to your panties, slowly pulling them off as he continues to film. He lets out a satisfied hum when he sees a patch of slick on your panties, not much, but enough to say that you were turned on. In this state. This was how Jungkook made you feel. You were utterly the doe eyed boyâs, in every possible state. This is what true love is. He slowly moved your thighs away, taking a close up of your pussy. Hell, it wasnât freshly waxed. Jungkook knew you liked to keep it clean whenever you both would get intimate. His heart almost swell in pride as he got a proof that you werenât fucking anyone all this time. (Not that he didnât knew it already, he always kept tabs on you.) It still had a soft little patch of hair, but not enough of to make an obstacle to film those luscious lips and needly clit of yours.
Jungkook starts to touch your cunt, filming his fingerâs movement. He starts to rub your clit, watching your reaction, not that he expected any. He starts to whisper filthy things while recording the sinful act.
âLook how wet sheâs for me. Sheâs so fucking hot. Fuck,"
The sight of your now slick wet cunt, being teased by his slender fingers made him extremely tight in the pants. Fuck, it was hard to jerk off to the footages of you in your room, doing your thing when Jungkook used to find ways to get his Y/N back. He had missed you so much. God knows how many times he had came in front of monitor just by seeing you change into your pajamas every night. Or when you crossed your legs while watching TV in the couch, wearing his favorite pink tank top.
He lost a monthâs worth cum when he saw you playing with yourself with the toy HE gifted you. That was the only toy you owned. Only that thing was allowed to enter you whenever Jungkook wasnât around. You were using his toy. Why? You wanted him. You need him. You needed Jungkook, isnt that why you used His replacement to calm yourself down. Why didnât you use your fingers? They werenât long enough? wrong. they didnât satisfy you? No. Jungkook knew why. You obviously missed him. You wanted him back.
Jungkook continues to touch and record himself pleasuring you, his own desire growing with each passing moment. He slowly starts to finger you, starting with one finger, soon followed by a second one, making sure to capture the slick movements, the camera moving a little due to the jerks produced by his other hand working on you. "This is so hot, she's practically begging for it,"
Jungkook continues to finger you and suck on your nipples while the camera captures everything. How wet your pussy was. The slick. The wet sounds. Jungkookâs grunts. Your soft breathing followed but a few straggled breaths. Everything . "Look at her, she loves it. Such a dirty slut. My pretty Y/N. She needs my cock inside her."
Jungkook pulls his fingers out of you, admiring the wetness and a sticky thread of your juices joined between his fingers before bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them, followed by a satisfied hum as if just tasted a forbidden fruit. Well, technically yes, the only difference is this fruit wasnât forbidden. It was completely his.
Jungkook then moves the camera away from your pussy and focuses it on himself as he undoes his pants, the metal of his belt makes a soft click sound as he pulls down his Blue Calvin Klein Denim jeans, followed the the pair of his black Calvin Klein Boxers. His painfully hard cock was already standing parallel to the floor, the veins on it as swollen as the bulbous head, sparkling with a drop of precum. He slowly start to touch his thick length while recording himself.
âYou want this⊠My filthy Y/N. You want my cock inside you.â
Jungkook starts to jerk off, his hand moving vigorously over his shafts, focusing the camera to your body time to time.
âShe doesn't know it but she is a slut. My slut.â
âShe was stupid to even think about leaving me.â
âShe missed me so much. I am going to fuck her so hard to show how much she means to me.â
Jungkook knew he couldnât take it anymore. You were in front of his eyes after a long time. he needed to be inside you, and fuck you like he means it. He focuses the camera on your body once again and spreads your legs wide open, positioning his hips against yours, his hard and heavy cock being brushed against your folds. Jungkook groaned as he pushed the tip in, head being thrown back as he basked in the feeling of your tight walls. It always felt like first time whenever he fucked you.
âFuck! Shit! Y/N I missed this cunt.â
In one swift movement he enters you fully, burying himself to the hilt. He can barely contain himself, his fingers dig in your waist as he fucks his cock inside you, his mouth letting out a guttural moan, pulling his length back just to pound into you again. and again. and again. The sound of your thighs meeting fills the room, with soft grunts and mewls of pleasure escaping Jungkookâs mouth, his eyes solely focused on the sight of your round tits bouncing with every thrust. So pretty, so round, so soft, all his.
Jungkook lips turn into a twisted crescent at the sight. Unable to hold himself any longer, he starts to squeeze and slap your unconscious tits, causing them to become red, which only fuels his desire to slap and squeeze them more, just how you loved it.
âYouâre my cunt, bitch. Gonna Fuck this fact into you.â
Jungkook had noticed that you had started to stir a little, maybe the the reaction of the pill was slowly wearing off. He found you moaning unconsciously at the feeling of his cock pounding facts into you to the hilt.
âM-mhhhâŠk-kook ahh-â He heard you mumble incoherently, feeling your walls clench around him tightly.
âSuch a slut, just woke up and youâre already about to cum? You missed my dick that much baby?â Jungkook groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chases down his own orgasm. It took him all his might not to bust a nut just right then at the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly.
âGonna cum in you, you want that, right love?â Jungkook said, his hips never stopping to move against yours, as you slowly started to feel faint trickles of your orgasm, which got stronger and stronger with Jungkookâs pounding. You gasped loudly as he thrusted himself in you for the last time, emptying thick ropes of his cum inside you and filling you to the brim.
The room was quiet, the only thing that could be heard was the humming of air conditioner, and both of your soft breathing, as you lay on the bed beside, your back firmly pressed against his chest. You still felt a little drowsy due to the effect that pill had on you, but Jungkook had made sure to clean you up and change you to your comfortable pjs. The purple satin ones.
His face was buried in the crook of your neck, his fingers playing with the chain of your âpendantâ that Jungkook had bought you tonight as a gift for your union since you threw the last one.
ââŠdo you forgive me ggukieâŠ?â You mumbled, earning a soft hum from him.
âI forgive you, Y/N. But if this happens again-"
âIt wont happen again.â You cut him off. âI promise, kook.â
His smile returned, though it lacked warmth. "Good," he said, his voice tinged with possessive satisfaction. "Now, let's forget about everything else. It's just you and me now, Y/N No one fucking else. Iâll kill them if anyone gets between us, Y/N.â
You hummed, finally surrendering to the situation that has you caught up in a fucking cycle. And you knew.
The only way to get rid of Jungkook,
was to be with Jungkook.
Jungkook felt you slowly drifting away, so he shifts you in such a way that you were lying on your back. He sat up, his back pressed against the headboard. He reached to the night stand and grabbed his camera, to see how you kept your promise to earn his forgiveness.
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i was supposed to post this on halloween đ but had been so so busy with college. my exams are coming up so I won't be able to post as much, please keep supporting.
please like and reblog
-ririđ«
#jungkook#jimin smut#jungkook smut#bts jungkook#bts jk#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook smut#jungkook drabble#yandere jungkook#yandere!jungkook#taehyung smut#bts#bangtan#bts smut#bts x reader#jeongguk smut#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jksmut#jjk x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#dom jungkook#kpop smut#bangtan smut#pjm smut#taehyung#bts drabble#jungkook oneshot#bts oneshot#bts imagines
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âI went on a date today.â
There was quiet shuffling on the other line.
â...whyâre you telling me?â
You weren't too sure why. Maybe it was because the man that you went on a date with made you feel small, or maybe it was the way he only cared to get to know you on a vague surface level.
Or maybe it was because when you left the date, you couldn't help but remember the way Tsukishima Kei made you feel when he still loved you.
You decided to settle on, âI don't know.â
And your ex boyfriend practically laughed on the other side of the phone.
âYou broke up with me,â his tone is harsh, like heâs purposely trying to hurt you. âYou can't just call me whenever you want.â
âThen why did you pick up?â
More silence. The two of you sat in it. The only sound you could hear was the muffled noise of his TV in the background, left in the apartment the two of you used to share before you packed your things and left him.
Left the memories of the two of you behind in a place you used to call home because you couldn't take it anymore.
âYou know why.â
He sounded more vulnerable now, the lightest inflection in his voice.
He never did want the breakup. You insisted on it. You thought he would've blocked your number, but seems like the two of you were still on the same page despite all that happened between you.
âDo you love me?â you asked him, a hint of desperation in your question.
âYou can't ask me that now.â
âBut I love you.â
You blurted it out before you could regret it. Your voice shook, free hand coming up to your face to scrub at it to try and hide the tears dripping down your cheeks.
âI still love you. But I needed to leave you,â you started to ramble, not waiting for his response. âThese past six months I thought I was finally doing fine without you. I could smile again, I found myself again, Kei. I learned what type of person I could be without you--â
âSo what changed?â He snapped. âWhy did you call me in the middle of the night? To brag that you're doing so much better than me?â
The hurt in his voice was palpable, and your heart throbbed in your chest.
âNo,â you whispered, âBecause I remembered that we used to be happy.â
You heard him inhale sharply as you wiped your tears.
You used to be happy. Tsukishima Kei used to make you happy.
â...I ruined it, though.â
You could picture him on the other side of the line. He was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, trying to suppress whatever emotions were coming up. Because Tsukishima hated emotions, and hated dealing with them.
âYou did,â you agreed with him with a watery smile, âWe both did.â
âI'm sorry.â
If he had said that seven months ago, you would've celebrated. An apology from Tsukishima is like an award.
But as much as you wanted to, as much as the thought of being with someone other than him terrified you, you weren't ready to let him back in.
Your silence was too much for him, so he shakily whispered, âI miss you."
You put him out of his misery with a quiet, âI know.â
You remembered his laughter when he'd tease you and you'd pout. You remembered how his eyes sparkled when looking at you. How his kisses felt like bright sunshine on a winter afternoon.
âWhat can I do?â He practically pleaded, at the end of his rope.
You remembered screaming, crying, pictures ripped up and broken photo frames. You remembered the anger in his eyes, blazing and unrecognizable. How each of his words and insults tightened the vice around your glass heart, until it shattered to pieces at your feet.
So you did the only thing you knew how to do, and you broke his heart too.
And just as you thought you were ready to move on from him, memories of him came crashing back like a tidal wave.
âI don't know, Kei,â your free hand covered your eyes, swollen from tears. The aching of your heart was almost too much to bear.
âLet me make it up to you,â he spoke quickly, feeling you slipping away from him again. âDelete his number. Let me back in. I'll be better.â
His offer was tempting. In an ideal world, Tsukishima wouldn't break your heart again.
Was it okay to hope for ideals? Was it foolish of you to take him back, and give into the hope that things would be different this time?
âPlease, baby.â
He was genuinely pleading now, and you muffled a sob behind your palm. Your prideful ex boyfriend who never apologized and never begged you for anything was begging for the right to care for your broken heart.
â...okay.â
So you gave into him, and handed him the pieces of your heart to put back together again.
#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei scenarios#haikyuu angst#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima kei angst#tsukishima x reader#hurt/comfort
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also. there was drama afoot at this con lmaoooÂ
i had heard the rumour that candice and danielle do not get on irl but uhhhh. it would appear that they donât get on to the extent that they canât even stand to be in the same room as each other... đŹÂ
#very weird bc you would think if they had that much of an issue they wouldn't have committed to doing an event together#we were trying not to tinhat bc this is so not our business and also. there is a reason why i generally try to just focus on the characters#i have already been in one real people fandom where we as fans were waaay too up in their business#it's not a good time. my policy these days is to just focus on the characters and know as little about the actors as possible#but yeah it was sus#like i said if they hate each other that much then why agree to do joint panels/photo ops in the first place#unless there was a last min blowup that resulted in this sudden and unexplained schedule change#to be fair there may have been some other issue that we were not aware of. like scheduling conflicts or something#but. i sense mess lmao#i should stop speculating cos again. im here for the characters and not them and i REALLY don't wanna end up getting involved or invested#in some personal relationship that is none of my business#i just wanted to get my photo taken with them. was not expecting this chaos#conventures#fandom wank
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home before dark (part eight) (end)
pairing rafe cameron x kook! female reader
rating mature 18+
summary as children, you and rafe were best friends, but then tragedy suddenly struck his family and he shut everybody out. years later, you need his help when a pushy ex-boyfriend wonât leave you alone. rafe is perfect for the job because everybodyâs afraid of him. except for you.
content warnings stalker ex, violence, smut, substance abuse, death and mourning of parent
» masterlist
· · ââ àŁȘ âč àŁȘ ââ · ·
You can hear gentle taps on the window behind you. At some point since you got back from the marina, it mustâve started raining. Youâve been too absorbed in your time with Rafe to notice until now.
Even though youâre trying to process what he just said, your instinct is to hope for his sake that it doesnât storm. Because your instinct has always been to worry about him. His was always to avoid you. And now, if you actually heard him right, you know the real reason why.
Youâre suspended in time as you stand in front of him in your kitchen, trying to silently compel him to look at you again. But his eyes are focused on the floor.
You were just upstairs, touching in the most intimate way, giving each other the best kind of pleasure. Now, in a matter of a minute, a chasm has opened up between you again. Rafeâs chest is rising and falling faster with every second that passes.
âWhatâd you just say?â you ask.
âI wasâŠâ Rafe shuffles in place, his temples beginning to throb. âFuck. I was never going to tell you.â
âWhat do you mean because of me?â you echo his words, your legs weakening.
Hearing your voice sound so faint, a harsh contrast from the soothing, careful way you always speak to him, makes his chest tighten.
âGoddamn it,â Rafe mutters. âWhyâd you have to push me to talk when I - I said I didnât want to talk?â
His feet carry him to the other end of the counter just to create some distance. He figures it should be easy because for so long, itâs been second nature for him stay away from you. But he hates that he canât touch you right now. This moment is too tense, the words he said too ugly.
Rafe finally meets your gaze. Every other time he thought you looked sad or scared or broken is nothing compared to the way your face is knitted in misery right now.
His darkest secret is out. He told himself heâd take it to the grave. But he just changed everything. He shoved a dagger into the heart of the only person who truly cares about him. And thereâs no undoing it.
âWhat do you mean because of me?â you repeat.
Rafe swallows the lump in his throat. He knew you were wrong; heâs not good like you said he is. This proves it. Heâs sick. Thereâs something wrong with him because a good person wouldnât blurt what he just said out, no matter how much pressure they were under.
He nervously grips the edge of the counter.
âRafe,â you urge. His head hangs low.
âIt was right before your birthday,â he mutters. âDo you remember?â
âOf course I-â You inhale a sharp breath. âOf course I remember.â
After what happened, you cancelled your eleventh birthday party. You didnât want to celebrate anything for years afterwards.
âDid that have⊠something to do with it?â you ask.
Rafeâs body goes cold. It had everything to do with it.
He begged his mother to go. She told him there were warnings on tv about a storm and that they could go the next day, that there was time, but he had to be such a brat about it that she finally agreed. She always gave into him.
âYou never stopped talking about how excited you were for it,â he says, âand I wanted to get you something great and I made her take me. And youâŠâ
His gaze hardens. This was supposed to stay locked inside him forever. At some point, behind his back, you got the key.
Your heart is in a vice. Youâre waiting for him to say this is a cruel joke.
âYou know what?â he huffs. âI donât even remember what I was so determined to get you. I just rememberâŠâ
He pinches the bridge of his nose, a short, boyish whine escaping his mouth as he hears the sound of the tires skidding in his mind, over and over again. They didnât even make it to the store.
You want to rush to him. To hold him. To let him dampen your shirt with his tears again. But you canât. Youâre frozen.
This is why Rafe never wanted you in his life. Youâre not just a reminder. It was never that simple. Youâre the reason for his suffering. And you can touch him and laugh with him and kiss him as many times as you want, but youâre sure heâll never see past it.
He doesnât have to tell you why he kept this from you. Itâs clear. He didnât want to hurt you. You thought he was being cruel all these years, but he was protecting both of you from this very moment.
You imagine the boy you knew, in the car, watching his world end because he wanted to be a good best friend to you. He was always sweet. Always doing what he could to show the people he loved that he loved them. And he paid for it in the worst way.
Youâre crashing into a painful realization, as if the lights were just turned on, burning your eyes after youâd been sitting in the dark for years.
âIâŠâ you begin. But youâre weak. Speechless. You hold the back of a chair at the kitchen table for stability.
For once, youâre not touching Rafe to comfort him as he cries. On top of the shame and frustration and guilt heâs feeling, a sense of loneliness sinks into him. He doesnât know if heâd push you away if you came to him. But youâre not even going to try?
The sharp, comfortable feeling of anger overshadows it all. Like always. Being mad is the most familiar state for him to be in. Especially when itâs himself heâs angry at.
âAnd I just kept asking until she agreed to take me,â he mutters.
You can hear it in his voice that he blames himself, too. And if thereâs anything you can do for him, itâs take away his pain. Itâs what youâve wanted to do for him for so long.
Guilt rips you into you. A hot tear rolls over your cheek. If Rafe has to blame you, if itâs defence mechanism, his way to cope, you can live with being the bad guy in his story. Because you love him. Youâre afraid you always will.
Your phone rings in your pocket, blaring in your kitchen. Youâve had it on loud so you couldnât miss a call from your parents just in case.
You clumsily rush to grab it and turn the sound off. You hang up before even looking at whoâs calling.
âWho is it?â he asks.
âIt doesnât matter,â you say.
âWho is it?â he says more sternly.
You look at the notification. Your lawyer. You called her after the cops found the tracker on your car to update her. Youâre sure you discussed everything you needed to. Whatâs she doing calling at almost nine at night?
âMy lawyer,â you say.
âCall her back,â he orders.
âI can do it later.â
Rafe only says your name, his mouth a firm line. You hate that heâs talking to you like this again, as if heâs mad at you for existing around him.
But heâs right. She might have some important news. Your hands are shaking as you tap on your screen to call your lawyer back on speakerphone. She answers after the first ring.
âSorry I called so late, but I wanted to let you know,â she says, âI hounded the police and I finally just got confirmation that they took Ty into custody.â
âHe was arrested?â you say. You meet Rafeâs eyes. In the midst of all this, for a second, he forgot youâve been living in your own horror.
âYes,â she replies. âHeâs been charged with the unlawful installation of a tracking device. They traced it back to him. They donât always arrest for a misdemeanor, but I think the fact that you already had an order out against him helped.â
âOkay,â you breathe. âThank you.â
âAgain, Iâm so sorry youâre going through this,â she says. âYou did the right thing fighting back. I wanted to keep you updated. Call me if you have any questions. Have a good night.â
âThank you,â you say. âYou, too.â
You hang up the phone and realize you donât even feel a morsel of relief that Ty has been arrested. Because Rafe just dropped something so earth-shattering on you that youâre not sure youâll ever be the same again.
You donât even discuss the call you both just heard. You stick to your private vow. You have to. He can blame you. He can hate you. He can feel whatever he wants if itâll ease his suffering.
âYouâre right,â you say quietly. You sit down, unable to hold yourself up any longer. âYouâre right. You just wanted to be a good friend. Itâs my fault. Iâm so sorry.â
It doesnât feel entirely dishonest taking the blame. They were on the freeway because of you. If you and Rafe never became friends, if you never fell into his life, heâd still have a mother.
His words from earlier when this all started ring in your head. We canât do this. This conversation? Or everything?
âItâs always going to be hard for you to be around me, isnât it?â you ask, desperate for the clarity. Because if itâs true, itâs better you know now.
Just this morning, he said you were friends again. Then in your room, you did something people who are much more than just friends do. And now, you might be doomed to going back to being nothing. Unless he denies it. Again, hope finds its way in your heart like it always does when it comes to him.
Rafeâs stare is distant. He grips the countertop even tighter.
âI donât know,â he says. Truthfully, he exists in two places at once when heâs with you. He feels both peace and disarray. Both bitter and sweet.
You nod slowly, standing on wobbly knees to find a paper towel to wipe your tears away with. You stand by the sink with your back to him, rubbing it beneath your eyes.
I donât know. Itâs the worst answer he could give you. At least if he gave a definitive yes or no, youâd know what the future will look like. But I donât know is what keeps hope alive, and you know by now the pain that hope can bring.
âIâm so sorry,â you repeat, muffled. âIf you never met meâŠâ
You think back to sitting next to him in the police station waiting room. He wrote in your birthday on that form without hesitation. He didnât even need to think about it. And you know now itâs because heâs doomed to remember that date forever.
âYou donât have to stay here,â you finally say. âYou can go home. I get it. I get why you never wanted to talk to me.â
You let out a shaky sigh, regretting the years you spent trying to reconnect with him. You were unknowingly hurting him every time.
The guilt sitting on your heart is so heavy that youâre sure itâll never leave you. While you thought he kept you at a distance because of grief, because of the role you played in reminding him, you realize that was only scratching the surface.
Rafeâs eyes are trained on you on the other side of the room, watching your body tremble.
âIâm staying,â he says resolutely. You turn to look at him from across the kitchen. His eyes gleam with tears.
âHe was arrested,â you reply. âHe canât hurt me.â
Rafe studies you. You look how you did the night this all started, when you rushed to him, asking him to pretend to be your boyfriend.
âBut youâre still scared,â he says.
âI think Iâll be scared for a while,â you admit. Ty is still out there. Even behind bars, heâs someone plotting to own you. You try to push past the fear for Rafeâs sake. âBut he canât hurt me.â
âI told you that Iâm staying with you until your parents get back,â Rafe says.
You feel like youâre spiralling. You know he kept this from you for a noble reason, but the realization that he always blamed you feels like itâs chipping away at you by the second.
âItâs okay,â you say. âYour job is done. You donât have to do this anymore.â
âYes, I do,â Rafe counters. You grimace. Heâs being so stubborn. The rack of guilt, shock, and confusion has your mind racing.
âWhy did we do⊠what we did upstairs?â you ask. âWhy did you say you felt something for me?â
Rafe exhales slowly. Kissing and touching you like that was euphoric. He wants that feeling, again and again, without the ugliness of your shared history following both of you.
âBecause I do,â he answers honestly. You twist your lips in sadness.
âYou do,â you say, âbut you donât want me in your life?â
Rafeâs quiet, his expression unreadable. Suddenly, you feel selfish and ashamed to be confronting him about this after he revealed something so painful.
âForget it. Iâm sorry,â you say. You toss the damp paper towel in the trash. âIf you want to stay, you can. But if you want to go, I get it. Iâll be in my room.â
You start to tread out of the kitchen, a sniffling mess at this point. You feel worse than ever for pestering him with your questions after he opened up to you.
Youâre sure youâve both spent more time crying than smiling since you tumbled into each otherâs lives again. Maybe itâs best for both of you to be nothing. Itâs not what your heart wants, but being together seems to bring you both more pain than happiness.
You turn, figuring this may be your only chance to tell him how sorry you are. If tonightâs your last night together and you go back to being strangers after this, you need him to know.
âI know nothing I say or do can make it better, but Iâm so sorry for everything you went through. And Iâm so sorry I was the reason for it,â you say, meeting his gaze from across the room. âI never stopped missing you. But I get it. We donât have to be friends or⊠be anything. Weâll go back to how it was. This time, I wonât keep bothering you.â
Rafe watches you leave. The weight in the pit of his stomach gets a million times heavier. He would do anything to take back telling you the truth.
Youâre curled up in a ball under your blanket, your throat growing sore from crying. You tried to break this arrangement with Rafe off the day he told you that you were always going to remind him of what happened. You told him all you do is hurt each other.
But he pushed. He said he wanted to take care of you. Youâre almost angry at him for not letting you end it then. But as painful as the truth he dropped on you tonight is, youâre glad you know.
Youâd rather take the blame for him. Youâd rather never have to wonder what he meant when he said you did do something wrong, but not on purpose.
But you are angry at him for kissing you. For touching you. It gave him another piece of your heart that you can never get back.
Rafe is still hunched over in the kitchen. He fucked up. Youâre upstairs, devastated, because of him. Since this started, youâve been so worried about bothering him. You said he tolerates you. And he put so much effort into making sure you didnât feel like a burden, but he just undid it all.
The way you apologized was like you were saying sorry for existing. Whatever he had left of a heart had been wrung out. He needs a distraction. But you canât give it to him, because itâs you he needs the distraction from.
You eventually get to a point where you canât cry anymore. Youâre numb. You spend every passing minute hoping Rafe will come into your room to try to convince you that you can make each other happy.
But he doesnât. You fall asleep alone.
A loud bang wakes you up. Your instinct tells you itâs Ty. A few seconds later, consciousness gets a hold of you and you remember your phone call. Heâs in police custody. He canât be here.
You sit up in the dark. Another bang outside. Itâs still raining but the noises arenât rolls of thunder like a few nights ago.
Rafe didnât leave. If he did, he wouldâve needed you to disarm the security system. You check the time. Itâs nearing three in the morning.
Another thud. At this point, youâre scared. You need to find him.
Youâre already panting when you reach the guest room. You knock on the ajar door.
âRafe?â you mumble.
To your relief, you hear his tired hmm? from the other side of the door.
âI keep hearing noises from outside,â you say. âI think someone might be out there.â
The bed squeaks with his weight shifting and a moment later, you hear the unmistakable sound of him pulling out and pushing in the magazine of his gun. It adds yet another layer of fear onto you.
âWhere?â Rafe asks as he steps out of the room.
You guide him in the dark to the window by your bed. You watch him lean to look out the glass, the gun in his hand.
âIt canât be him, right?â you finally say with a thin voice.
Rafeâs jaw tightens. He doesnât want to say whatâs been turning in his head since you got the call from the lawyer. He didnât want to scare you. But itâs exactly why he stayed.
âRafe?â you say.
âSomeone couldâve bailed him out,â he finally replies.
Your heart is in your throat. The stress of tonight made you completely forget about that possibility. If Ty got bail, of course his wealthy family would pay it. You feel stupid for urging Rafe to leave. And grateful that he didnât.
âWell, if he - if he did, wouldnât the police make sure he doesnât try to get to me?â you ask.
âThe police are idiots,â Rafe says flatly, still angry over how passively they treated you when you filed the restraining order, how thoughtless they were to not check your belongings.
âIf heâs trying to get in,â you say shakily, âthe alarm will go off. It automatically alerts the cops if it isnât turned off within a minute. Please, if you⊠have to shoot, do it just to stop him. Donât kill him.â
The thought of putting Rafe through watching someone else lose their life is too much for you.
He turns to look at you, barely making out your features in the moonlight shining into your room. How could possibly want to spare the life of someone so evil?
âHeâs not worth it,â you say. âI donât want it weighing on you for the rest of your life.â
Rafe looks at you in awe. Again, you put him first. In this moment, where youâre surely terrified, youâre worrying about him carrying the weight of taking someoneâs life. Because he already carries that weight for his mother. And tonight, he put that weight on you, too.
âOkay,â he says. âBut if he tries to hurt you, I donât know how Iâll control myself.â
A deafening, chilling smash of glass echoes from downstairs. The shrill security alarm starts blaring. Your hand finds the crook of Rafeâs elbow as your entire body stiffens.
âStay here,â Rafe says. âDonât come out.â
âBe careful,â you stammer. âIâm calling 911 just to be sure.â You watch him leave as you grab your phone to report a break-in, giving the operator your address.
A few seconds later, the security system stops ringing. Itâs been shut off. And you know it wasnât Rafe who did it.
Rafe reaches the bottom of the stairs, gun pointed ahead in the dark. His eyes land on Ty, standing by the door, his hand on the security panel.
âGet the fuck out or I swear to God, Iâll shoot you,â Rafe threatens.
âI just want to talk to her,â he replies tersely.
âGet out,â Rafe repeats.
You can make out muffled conversation. You stand by your door, opening it an inch to hear whatâs happening downstairs.
âDo you have any idea what Iâve been through for her? Where is she?â
Itâs Ty. He actually did it. He actually found a way to get to you again. Rafe is the only thing keeping him from you right now. You feel like you could throw up from how scared you are.
âYou have five seconds to leave,â Rafe says. Your ex sputters a laugh.
âOr what?â Ty reaches below the hem of his shirt. âYou think youâre the only one with a gun?â
Your blood runs cold. Rafe is facing a maniac youâre sure wouldnât hesitate to kill him. This could end in someone getting shot. Someone could die here tonight. And if itâs Rafe, you wonât be able to live with yourself.
Itâs a crazy, desperate idea, but youâre confident you can manipulate Ty. You know him well. You know what he wants to hear. Heâd do anything to think he can have you again. And you need to buy time before the police get here.
âPut it down,â Rafe warns.
âIs this gonna be a game of chicken?â Ty laughs again, his gun gleaming in his hand.
Your entire body is tense as you step out of your room.
âTy?â you call out, slowly coming down the stairs. Rafe stiffens.
âI told you to not to come out,â Rafe says sternly, his eyes still on your ex.
âThese are the lengths I have to go to for you, huh?â Ty calls up to you. âJust to get you to talk to me?â
Itâs still dark in your home, both men just murky figures.
âIâm turning on the light,â you say, knowing that surprising Ty wonât do any good.
You reach the bottom of the staircase, standing behind Rafe, and flip the switch, washing the entrance of your home in bright lighting.
You have to stifle your gasp when you see Ty. His face is swollen from Rafe beating him up last night. His clothes are muddy from creeping around your home in the rain, finding a way in. He must have jumped the gate.
The realization that he knows the security code crashes into you. Heâs surely seen you punch it in from his visits back when he was your boyfriend. You never thought heâd be committing it to memory.
This whole time, he knew it. Something you thought was protecting you wasnât. You wish youâd thought to change the code after the break-up.
âGo back upstairs,â Rafe says, his teeth gritted.
You place a hand on Rafeâs back, out of Tyâs sight.
âLetâs talk,â you say to Ty. âPut the gun down and letâs talk.â
âYou know the cops came to my house and arrested me in front of my parents?â Ty says, looking utterly unhinged. âWhy the fuck did you do that to me?â
His gun is still aimed in your direction, but itâs a little lower in his shaky hand. Youâre getting somewhere.
âIâm so sorry. I was scared,â you tell him.
âAnd you let this asshole,â Ty says, eyes darting to Rafe, âhurt me. You just fucking watched him punch me and punch me over and over and then you left. You left with him.â
âIâd do it again,â Rafe mutters. He sees pure red.
âHey,â you whisper to him. You force your anxiety away, knowing you need to calm Ty down, not provoke him.
You drop your hand and walk past Rafe, who harshly says your name. His fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you back. You look at him.
âStop,â Rafe mutters to you, still holding out his gun at Ty. âGo upstairs. Iâm handling this.â
âI wonât let you hurt him,â you say, loud for Ty to hear. âI donât want you anymore.â
Rafe knows youâre trying to trick Ty to avoid anything horrible happening here tonight, but your words make everything in him twist in pain.
You pull away and approach Ty, your heart drumming against your chest. You meet his wide, frantic eyes.
âHey,â you say softly, walking towards him. âYou were right. He was just a rebound. You know me better than anybody.â
âYouâre lying,â Ty mutters. But heâs lowering his gun. âYouâre just a liar.â
âTy,â you say, mustering up forced affection. You reach him, standing mere inches away. His gun is at his side now. The thought of him raising his hand again is petrifying.
âI was scared,â you continue, âbut now I can see how much you care about me. Itâs why I came downstairs. I heard your voice and I realized how much I miss you.â
âI just wanted to talk to you,â he says. âThis whole time. And whatâd you do? You got a new boyfriend. You called the cops. I - I love you. I gave you everything.â
His eyes are sharp. Poisonous. He genuinely thinks heâs done nothing wrong. To him, tracking you and taking photos of you and forcing contact with you was okay. He wants you as an object to possess. Not as a person.
âI know. Nobody can love me like you do,â you whisper, echoing the words he screamed at you when you broke up with him. âI love you. Iâm sorry it took me so long to realize it. Iâve always been stupid, right?â
Itâs taking everything in Rafe not to charge at Ty. If he makes one wrong move, he doesnât think he can restrain himself from putting a bullet through his chest.
Rafe watches your hand drag down Tyâs arm and he grimaces, sure youâre rattled with fear.
âCan you put this down?â you ask, your hand stopping at his, cupping the gun. âI want you to hold me like you used to.â
âYou do?â Ty says, his anger slowly disappearing from his face. Relief pools through you.
âOf course,â you reply. Your hand is shaking as you find the barrel of his gun, slowly pulling at it. âI need you. I make bad decisions when Iâm not with you.â
âYeah, you do,â Ty says, a desperate grin spreading on his face. âYou finally fucking get it.â
You force a smile at him, breathing out slowly as you take the gun out of his grip.
Rafe watches with relief when he sees you holding Tyâs gun at your back.
Itâs terrifying facing him, but at least thereâs no gun pointed at Rafe right now. It dawns on you just how much you love him. You came down here simply to try to keep him safe. To keep him from having someoneâs blood on his hands. You approached someone youâve been running from. You put your own life in danger. Willingly.
You pull back, forcing another smile as you gaze up at Ty.
âWeâre getting out of here,â Ty orders.
You look up at him, hoping he doesnât see the fear in your eyes. Thereâs no way youâre going anywhere with him. You know you have a second, maybe two, to get away from him. And you can only hope itâs enough.
âLet me get my shoes,â you say, trying to laugh as if youâre excited, as if youâre endeared by him.
You move as fast as you can, kneeling to pick the gun up off the floor and rushing back towards Rafe.
âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing?â Ty spits behind you.
Rafe has never been more relieved in his life than when you reach him, cowering behind him, Tyâs gun in your hands.
Maybe you should use it, but you canât fathom trusting your aim when youâre shaking like this.
âYou lying bitch!â Ty shouts, striding forward.
âOne more step!â Rafe warns louder.
Ty doesnât listen.
âLook away,â Rafe mutters to you. You curl up behind him, making yourself small, shutting your eyes.
The gunshot pierces the air, echoing through the foyer, making you quiver. You want to wake up. Because this has to be a nightmare. This canât be real.
You hear Ty moaning in pain. Your eyes are still shut when sirens blare in the distance.
Itâs a blur. People rush in. The door is left open, rain drumming on the pavement. You hear another hard thud and you realize you dropped the gun that was in your hands.
You feel Rafe turn and heâs saying something to you, but you canât understand it. A shiny, yellow badge gleams in the light.
ââŠhappened tonight?â a stranger asks.
âCanât you do this another time?â Rafe mutters, irritated.
âWe need a statement.â You realize the police officer is talking to you, a notepad in his hand. You meet his eyes.
âWhat?â you breathe.
Rafe looks down at you with furrowed brows, worried about you and pissed off that youâre being questioned.
âCan you tell me what happened tonight?â the cop says.
âHer ex broke in,â Rafe says. âHe had a gun. You guys arrested him, then let him go. Thereâs your statement.â
The police officer sighs, keeping his eye on you.
âHave you been physically harmed?â the cops says.
You find the strength to shake your head no.
âDo you have somewhere else to sleep tonight?â he asks.
âYes,â Rafe answers for you. âItâs better sheâs not here in case you morons let him out again, right?â
The cop shakes his head in frustration, but seems to decide that not engaging with Rafeâs angry sarcasm is the better choice.
âWeâll be in touch, miss,â he says. He turns all his attention to Rafe. âCan you answer some questions?â
âFine,â he mutters, then looks to you. âYou wanna go pack?â
All you can hear is your own quick breathing as you pack an overnight bag. Youâre trembling, dropping things, moving as if youâre going to be late for something.
Your house is a crime scene now. You still donât know what happened with Ty. You couldnât look.
Itâs a few minutes past four a.m. when you reach Tannyhill. You and Rafe havenât said anything to each other since the cops left.
The enormous house is dark and quiet as you trail him up the stairs. You know itâs irrational, but still, you fear Ty will pop out from behind a corner and try to finish the job.
Even after your harsh conversation earlier tonight, you hope Rafe will let you sleep in his bedroom. You stop in the upstairs hallway, unsure of what to do next, but his hand finds yours, leading you, making the decision for you.
Rafeâs bedsheets smells just like him, warm and strong and comforting. Youâre turned on your side, your back to him, as he settles behind you.
Now that youâre lying down, you realize just how hard youâre shaking. Your body is still trying to catch up with your mind.
Rafe notices.
âItâs over,â he says, voice low. âYouâre alright.â
You nod, exhaling once you feel his hand rest on your back. His fingers gently run back and forth between your shoulder blades. You find your words, finally.
âI know you had it under control,â you whisper, âbut I couldnât just sit in my room and do nothing. I was scared of him but I was more scared heâd hurt you and I knew I could trick him and I know youâre mad at me-â
âIâm notâŠâ Rafe interrupts with a sigh. âIâm not mad at you.â
Heâs mad at how unfair everything is. And at himself. He should have never told you they were in the car because of you. The conversation with you in your kitchen is another memory he knows will haunt him.
You nuzzle into Rafeâs pillow. Heâs still slowly stroking your back, granting you a sense of safety.
âListen, I wonât lie. I wish you never came downstairs,â he admits. It killed him seeing you face someone whoâs been torturing you. âI didnât know what he was gonna do. But you⊠you knew how to deal with him. I⊠Thank you. You didnât have to do it for me.â
Your heart is still pounding. Of course you had to do it for him. Youâd do anything for him.
âYouâve been looking out for me,â you say quietly. âI wanted to finally return the favor.â
Rafe chews on his lip. Heâs pretty sure you take care of him more than he does you.
âWhat happened?â you ask. âDid youâŠâ
âGot him in the leg,â Rafe says. âThey arrested him. Again.â He wouldâve killed him if you gave him your blessing to. He knows that for sure.
You nod. Your eyelids start to flutter shut. He keeps rubbing your back until heâs sure youâre asleep.
For once, you start your day next to Rafe. He didnât leave you to wake up alone this time. Heâs pressed up behind you, his arm draped over you, his hand over yours. You feel his chest rising and falling against your back.
The room is washed in orange sunlight. The clock on his nightstand tells you itâs almost noon.
You donât know what to do from here. You promised Rafe that after this ended, youâd stop bothering him. And he didnât tell you not to.
You look down at his hand on top of yours. Your eyes trail over his fingers, once again thinking about everything heâs done for you. Heâs kept you safe, taken on responsibilities for you, given you pleasure.
Minutes later, Rafe shuffles behind you, slowly waking up. Once he realizes heâs holding you, he pulls away, clearing his throat.
You sit up and collect your bag before you go to his ensuite bathroom, not making eye contact. After texting a friend to ask if you can come over, you mentally rehearse what youâll say to Rafe as you brush your teeth.
Heâs sitting up in bed when you come out. He can see how tired you are, but you still manage to be so breathtakingly beautiful.
âHi,â you say. You take a breath, standing over him, your bag at your chest. âThereâs no way I can thank you enough. You saved my life. If I was home alone, he wouldâve taken me somewhere andâŠâ
You look down, knowing you shouldnât spiral into the what ifâs.
âAfter what I did to you, you still helped me,â you say, quieter now. âI know you think low of yourself, but you shouldnât. Because of you, Iâm alive right now.â
Rafe stares up at you, his hair tousled over his forehead. Only you can give him this feeling of pride in himself. This feeling that maybe he has a reason to exist other than getting wasted and taking out his anger in every way he can.
âIt wasnât all me,â he replies. âYouâre tougher than you know.â You offer him a small, thankful smile.
âIâll get Sarah to drive me to a friendâs,â you say. âAnd Iâll stay there until my parents get back tonight.â
You start to walk towards the door, but his words stop you.
âI never stopped missing you, either,â he says tensely, remembering your words from last night. âJust so you know.â
You look at him with doleful eyes. Rafeâs heart pounds faster when you drop your bag and approach him. You duck, pressing your cheek against his shoulder, hugging him.
He wraps his arms around you and closes his eyes until you pull back and take your warmth with you. You can both feel that this is goodbye.
Youâre grateful not only because he kept you safe from Ty, but because he allowed this arrangement between you to end cordially. He opened up one last time, giving you the comfort of knowing that he still cared about you even after the accident he blames you for.
He missed you, too. It gives you a reprieve from the pain, even just for a second.
You have a long phone conversation with your lawyer when you arrive at your friendâs house. Tyâs back in custody. Thereâs no option for bail now. Heâll be incarcerated until the trial. Your original court date has been nullified, as a judge has granted you the permanent protective order given the circumstances.
You give your official police statement, emphasizing as many times as you can that Rafe acted in self-defence and protected you. When your lawyer confirms he isnât being charged with anything, youâre more relieved than ever.
Youâre in a haze when you finally see your parents again. Telling them everything feels like youâre recounting a horror movie.
Your home is still deemed a crime scene, so your parents book a hotel room. Youâre lying in the firm, cold hotel bed when your phone buzzes with a text.
Itâs from Rafe. Itâs almost midnight and you saw him this morning, but it feels like itâs been weeks. You doing ok?
You reply: yes. my parents got back and weâre at a hotel. are you ok?
He doesnât text back. You take that as a response in itself. Whatever you had is officially over.
The next afternoon, you can finally go home. The window Ty broke is repaired. You have an irrational fear of seeing his blood on the foyer floor when you walk back into your house, even after your parents confirmed with the cops that the scene has been cleaned up.
Rafe is trying to get used to the way life is now. It feels wrong not being around you. Youâre all he thinks about. When he wakes up. As he goes to sleep.
He should have replied to your text. But how can he put into words just how not okay he is? He kept it under wraps for years, then opened up to you just to ruin things between you all over again.
Itâs been almost a week since heâs seen you. Other Kooks are gossiping about what happened, spreading theories and lies. They know to quiet down when they realize Rafe is in earshot.
Heâs not sure if people think youâre still together or not, but they seem to know better than to blabber about it when heâs around.
Itâs Saturday night and people are scattered across the massive wraparound balcony facing the beach behind Tannyhill. Rafeâs preparing a line of coke, falling into his old escapist habits.
He misses you. Heâs afraid things really are back to how they were. He wants to see you. He just needs to figure out how to make it happen.
Itâs loud and crowded. You havenât left your bedroom in days, but finally, youâve stepped outside after your friends encouraged you to come to a party. It made it easier to accept the invite when you heard it was at Rafeâs house. You want to check on him, even if itâs from a distance.
You can feel peopleâs eyes on you when you enter the party. Itâs uncomfortable, knowing your trauma is being gossiped about and picked apart.
Tyâs in jail, but sometimes that isnât enough. You canât get it out of your head, the way he looked when he broke in, frantic as he waved his gun around.
Youâre gazing out at the setting sun as you stand on the balcony, slipping into your thoughts as your friends chatter around you.
Youâre worried youâll be afraid of your ex forever. The safest youâve ever felt was with Rafe and that was temporary.
You instinctually look around for him. You donât see him, but then thereâs a break in the crowd, and you spot him sitting at a table, hunched over, ready to do a line.
Itâs like nothing has changed. You see Rafe the way youâve seen him throughout your adolescence, chasing a high and acting like you donât exist. Even after everything that happened between you.
Rafeâs about to breathe in his first line of the night. Until his eyes meet yours. And then everything goes quiet.
His fear that things are how they were before is shattered. They canât be. Because instead of looking away, he doesnât want to tear his eyes off of you.
You think youâre giving something to him by giving him space, but youâre not. Youâre taking happiness and peace and love away from him.
Your breath catches when you feel a rush of tears thickening in your throat. Your heart is broken from so many things, but itâs mostly from the role you played in breaking his.
You excuse yourself and rush into the house, hopeful nobody will see you cry. Youâre not even sure where youâre going. You just know you want to be alone.
You end up in Rafeâs room, simply because itâs the only room in the house that gives you the level of comfort youâre craving. You gaze out of one of the windows as you try to calm yourself down.
You remember entering this house for the first time. His father and yours fell into conversation like old friends do and Rafe was at his motherâs side, just barely leaning on her, enough for comfort but not so much that he looked like he needed the crutch.
You kept glancing at each other while the adults talked and when he finally offered you a shy smile, you smiled back, and you donât know if he felt it, too, but at that moment, you knew you were going to be friends.
You sit on his bed, hands on your knees as you breathe through the hurt.
The doorknob turns. Rafe flips on the light when he comes in, his eyes boring into you. You quickly wipe away your tears. He was the last person you expected to follow you.
âHey,â he says, shutting the door. âWhatâs wrong?â
âSorry,â you say. âI can go.â
âNo,â Rafe says. âWhat is it?â
You canât put him through the honest answer.
âSucks how everyoneâs talking about it,â you say. Truthfully, you couldnât care less about the gossip.
Rafe squints for a moment, slowly making his way to you, settling on the bed an inch away from you, his cologne drifting in the air.
âIs that really it?â he asks. You nervously clasp your hands, looking down. He knows thatâs not really it. You can see from the corner of his eye that heâs still watching you.
You donât answer.
âI hate myself for telling you,â Rafe mumbles. You wince at his words.
âYou shouldnât. Itâs better that I know.â
âItâs not.â Rafe anxiously rubs his forehead. âIt sounded so fucking wrong when you said itâs your fault. When I heard you say it out loud, itâŠâ
It turned everything inside out. All heâs been thinking about these past few days is how and when to tell you this.
âYou know when you said maybe it was your fault he wouldnât leave you alone?â he asks.
You think back to that night when you confessed how terrible your relationship with Ty had been. You had told Rafe itâs easier for you to take responsibility because then youâre not just a victim.
âI canât let you blame yourself like that again,â Rafe says. âYou were a kid.â
âYou really donât blame me?â you ask.
âI donât.â His words take a weight off of your shoulders.
âYou were a kid, too, Rafe. You canât blame yourself, either,â you say softly. âAnd if anyone else does, theyâre wrong.â
You can tell by the way he grimaces that heâs been made to feel guilty for it by someone else. His father. You have no doubt about it.
âItâs different,â Rafe mutters.
âItâs not,â you reply. âYouâre just as innocent as I am.â
Rafe knew his mother well. He knows she spent her last moments worrying about him, regretting that she made the decision to leave the house with him. She was an amazing mother. Heâs sure she died thinking she wasnât.
âI didnât tell her I loved her,â he says, voice starting to falter. âThe last chance I had.â
Your chest tightens.
âYou know how you always picked flowers for her on our way up to the house?â you say. âAnd how she was so happy every time you gave them to her?â
The memory makes the corners of Rafeâs lips turn up in a smile. He didnât know you remembered that.
âYou spent time getting her flowers just to make her day, over and over,â you say. âYou donât have to tell someone you love them for them to know. You showed her in a million ways. She knew. I promise.â
Rafeâs been living in an unforgiving cycle of hating the world, looking for blame, all to keep from accepting the truth that there was no sense to what happened. No reason. It just happened. And it left him in pieces.
Your words give him a quiet feeling of freedom that he hasnât felt in a long time. The cycle is addictive and comfortable, but it keeps him moving in circles. Getting him nowhere.
Talking about his mother doesnât hurt as bad this time. Because you brought up a good memory, and he doesnât picture her in the car like he always does, but he sees her downstairs, pinching his cheek, smiling, putting wildflowers in a small vase.
Rafeâs eyes find yours again. All he can feel is a warm, stirring gratitude sinking into him. His lips part for a second before he can reach for the words.
âThank you,â he says. âHowâve you been?â
âItâs hard,â you admit. âI keep thinking Iâm going to run into him. Weâre just waiting on the trial to start and I wish I knew whatâs going to happen.â
Rafe takes a deep breath. Heâs terrified of letting you hear how dark his thoughts get, but right now, heâs as sure as he can be that youâre the one person in the world who wouldnât look at him with judgement.
âI wanted to kill him,â Rafe mutters. âI would right now if I had the chance.â
He looks at you, scared as he awaits your response. You tilt your head and gaze at him with sorrowful eyes.
âI think if someone was doing something like that to you,â you say, âIâd feel the same way.â
Rafe knew you cared about him, but to know you feel just as intensely for him as he does for you is a relief. Heâs still not sure he deserves it.
âHow have you been after everything?â you ask.
âI canât stop thinking about you,â he says, his words rushed. âI keep wanting to text or call but I donât know how to say it.â
âHow to say what?â
âHow much I regret it all,â he says. Rafe combs a hand through his hair, heeling forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. âEvery single time you tried to talk to me, I was such a dick to you. Iâm sorry.â
Youâve imagined him saying this, but you thought itâd always stay a daydream. As you think about everything heâs told you, about how uncontrollable his thoughts can be and how badly he needs distractions and how utterly lonely heâs been, you feel nothing but forgiveness for him.
âYou know that photo I took down?â you say. He nods, picturing the image of the four of you on the beach. âWhat happened, happened to that little kid. I think he handled things the only way he knew how.â
Rafe sits straight, tears threatening to form. You never run out of compassion for him. Youâve always been here, reminding him heâs human and that itâs okay to hurt and to need help.
His eyes are on yours again, and this time, heâs looking at you like he did the night before he kissed you. Itâs like life is returning to his features, a pink hue blooming across his cheeks.
He recalls your words from your last night together. But you donât want me in your life?
âI want you in my life, alright?â he says. He ducks his head just a bit, looking at you with a mix of infatuation and nerves. âIf you still want to be in it.â
Your lips quiver with an endeared frown as you gaze at the multifaceted, complex, passionate man sitting in front of you.
âI do,â you say. Because the past few weeks have been so stressful, all you want right now is clarity. âYou mean as a friend?â
âNo,â Rafe scoffs, a smile quirking on his face again. âNo. If you want that, weâll do that. But I want more. Please tell me I didnât fuck this up.â
You gaze at him through your lashes, feeling like you might just melt at the soft way heâs looking at you and speaking to you.
âBelieve me,â Rafe says, âthat Iâll be different. For real, this time. I donâtâŠâ He sighs. âI never want you feeling like youâre bothering me. Itâs the opposite. Every minute Iâm not with you is just⊠itâs hell.â
He licks his lips from nervousness. He doesnât like that you havenât said anything yet.
âWhat are you thinking?â he asks.
You smile at him, bringing your hand to his, feeling that his knuckles have completely healed now. This right here is the moment you think you might be able to let go of the fear and instability and pain thatâs existed between you for so long.
âI want more, too,â you tell him. He looks at you with furrowed brows almost like heâs in pain, like waiting for this has actually been hurting him.
Rafe hopes his impatience to kiss you isnât too much for you when he leans forward, laying his lips to yours, but you meet him with the same hunger.
He holds you, cupping your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb as your lips weave together. His tongue runs against yours and you raise your hands, one resting on the crook of his neck while the other runs over his hair.
With a quiet moan of pure desire, Rafe kisses harder, moving even closer to you so that your eyelashes overlap.
He separates to close his lips on your neck, trailing hot, desperate kisses over your throat. Then, Rafeâs fingers rest on your hips, fingertips dipping under your shirt.
âCan I take this off?â he asks huskily.
âYes,â you breathe.
The slowly burning flame between you has sparked into a wildfire now. You feel the fabric of your top slowly dragging up your body, making you dizzy.
Rafe watches in awe as he pulls your shirt off you, all of his senses going hot when he watches the way your chest is rising and falling, the way your bra looks pushed against your body. He dips to kiss your neck again as he holds you at your waist.
âTell me if Iâm going too fast,â he whispers, âor if I need to stop.â
âDonât stop,â you whisper back. Your hand drags over his hard jaw to pull him up to your lips again. Rafe is intoxicated by this feeling, by the promise of pleasure, by the pure joy of being wanted.
Your lips quietly smack together as his fingers skim up the side of your body, over your shoulder, down the line of your bra strap, finally wandering over your chest.
He massages you gently, earning breathy moans from you. With eyes still shut, you find the top button of his shirt, pulling it out of its loop slowly.
Your kisses grow even more impatient as you unbutton his shirt, moving down his chest, finally reaching the bottom. Your fingers slip under his collar, pushing his shirt down his shoulders.
Once Rafeâs shirt is on the floor, he leans against you, gently guiding you onto your back on his soft bed, still kissing you. You run your hands down the firm curve of his back, making him shudder into your mouth.
His fingers dip under your bra strap, feeling desperate to see you. His forehead presses against yours as he pulls back.
âIs this okay?â he rasps.
You nod and your breath hitches when he pulls the strap down over your shoulder and dips to kiss where it sat. His groin already feels so tight that it hurts.
Slowly, he lowers to kiss the valley between your breasts, making your heart pound even harder. When he finally pulls down the cup of your bra, seeing you bare draws a stunned, sharp intake of breath from him.
You rake your hand through his hair when you feel his hot mouth on you. You moan softly and the sound of you revelling in the pleasure heâs giving you puts him in an even deeper daze.
Rafe cups your waist and drags his hands to your back. You arch to give him just enough space to unhook your bra, and once he has full access to your chest, you shut your eyes as his tongue and hands roam over you.
He leaves wet kisses all over your chest and comes back up to capture your lips again. His movements are languid as he rests his hand between your legs and suddenly, your clothes feel suffocating. Youâve never needed someone more.
Rafe drags his fingers over you, pressing in gentle circles. You spread your legs wide as he hovers over you, holding himself up on his elbow.
His eyes are on you, full of lust and want, imagining how youâll taste if you let him go that far. He sinks to dip his fingers beneath the band at your hips, pulling the clothing down your legs, taking his time.
He settles over you again, putting his hand back where it was, and even though thereâs still one more layer of fabric to strip, he can feel you so much better.
You whimper as he drags his fingers over you, and then he lowers again, his head between your legs.
You meet Rafeâs gaze when he kisses you right over your panties, and the intimacy, the pure vulnerability thickens the air even more.
âCan I?â he mumbles, his breath warm. You nod in desperation.
He slides the last piece of clothing you have on off of you, and when his eyes drink you in, his heart pounds loud in his ears.
âYouâre beautiful,â he says, dipping to kiss your inner thighs before finally tasting you. You breathe out shakily as his tongue curls against you, as his hands hook around the tops of your thighs, resting on your hips.
Your whole body is hot and trembling as he kisses and sucks and licks, worshipping every bit of you.
Rafe canât get enough of you. He just started and he already dreads the thought of stopping.
Your hands sit on his and he squeezes your fingers as he buries his face against you, holding both your hands, gazing up to see the bliss written in your pretty features.
He shifts to bring one of his hands where his mouth is, gliding over you, working both on you to bring you to a mind-blowing climax that leaves you moaning.
Rafe holds himself up over you again, kissing you, letting you taste yourself, as you eagerly unbutton his jeans. He helps you pull his pants down and when you grip him over his boxers, he nearly whimpers in need.
You stroke slowly, your hand wrapped around him, the other pushing against his bare chest to gently lead him to lie on his back.
You drag his boxers down, looking at him with pure arousal. His face is twisted in pleasure when you put your mouth on him, tasting him, taking him in completely.
He couldnât take his eyes off you if he tried. You slowly pick up your pace and he knows if you go any longer, he wonât last.
âCan weâŠâ he rasps. Youâre trembling in anticipation, already knowing what heâs asking.
You shift higher, resting on your knees, your bare bodies pressed together as you kiss him.
You lower your hand, holding him, dipping against him to just barely meet each other. Itâd take just one buck of your hips to feel him inside you.
âYou sure?â he asks.
âYes. Are you?â
âYes,â he groans. âGo as slow as you need to.â
You nod, shuddering as you position yourself and slowly sink onto him. You moan in unison at the sensation of your bodies meeting this way.
When you finally take all of him in, you pause to revel in the feeling, breathing heavily, your cheeks brushing.
âI love you,â Rafe says, his deep voice weaved with awe.
You pull back to look at him, not sure if you heard him right. You take in the color of his eyes and the beauty of his edges and your heart has never felt like it was glowing until this very moment.
âI love you, too,â you half-whisper. He almost canât come to grips with the fact that you said it back with such certainty. Like you have no doubt that he has a place in your heart.
You roll your hips, taking your time to adjust to him. His hands are at your waist as he enjoys the slow ecstasy of your warmth.
You hug him tightly as you slowly move up and down. Eventually, you can feel him tensing beneath you, and you want to give him the control to reach the pace he needs.
You lift off of him, kissing him before you shift onto your back. He doesnât waste any time to settle over you, slowly pushing into you again.
Youâve always worn your heart on your sleeve for Rafe, while heâs kept his caged. He thought he didnât even have one anymore. But you remind him that he does have this side of him, that it still exists, that he wants to give all of it you.
âI love you,â he rasps again. âI love you. I love you.â
Bliss overwhelms you as you tenderly kiss his forehead. He gently rocks forward and back, filling you perfectly as his thrusts slowly quicken.
âYouâre everything to me,â he whispers into your ear. âI love you.â
âI love you,â you say, wrapping your legs around him. His breaths quicken as he moves faster, writhing over you into a climax that makes him groan.
Your bodies are glistening with sweat, your breaths heavy. Rafeâs weight doesnât leave you as he collapses in pleasure.
âIs it okay if I stay like this?â he asks.
âYes,â you breathe. His face is nuzzled into your neck, panting as he breathes you in, still inside you, living in this perfect moment with you.
Rafe has felt homesick since he can remember. Even within the walls of his own bedroom. But you and the feeling you give him are home. Safety with no exceptions, love with no conditions.
âWhatâd I do to deserve you?â he mumbles against your skin.
âExist,â you say with a gentle laugh.
Rafe plants lazy kisses against your neck as you hold him, slowly coming back to reality. Thereâs a whole party happening in his house, but in his world, itâs only you and him.
When he gets up, he isnât prepared for how empty he feels when he loses the feeling of you wrapped around him. You lie next to him, facing each other with tired smiles.
âHow was it?â he asks. The question sends you into a fit of laughter.
âYou heard me, right?â you say, almost embarrassed from the sounds you made.
Rafe smirks and moves even closer to you, kissing you as you both lie on his pillow. You rest your palm on his face, gently tapping at the deep dimple in his cheek with your finger.
âYou should show these more often,â you say.
âWhat?â
âYour dimples.â
He laughs, thinking to himself that heâll do anything you want him to if youâll keep loving him. Heâs drunk on the feeling of the simplicity of being with you. Itâs easy and pure.
Rafe asks if you want to shower together, and soon, youâre in his ensuite, standing under hot water ebbing over your skin.
Every movement between you is a slow expression of love, your bodies curved together as you share kisses and hold each other.
At one point, heâs clinging onto you, his lips pressed on your shoulder, and youâre holding him like you did the night in your house when he finally opened up completely.
Rafe is overcome by every emotion heâs feeling and itâs the first time in years that he cries without urging himself to stop. Because youâre here and you know everything and you still donât want to leave.
You hold each other in bed wearing nothing but towels. He asks you if you want to go back out to the party and is relieved when you tell him you donât.
âIâm falling asleep,â you eventually say, your legs tangled with his as he holds you. âI should go home.â
âNo,â he says. âWhy? Stay. Sleep here.â
You text your parents that youâre sleeping over. You know theyâll assume youâre staying in Sarahâs room, since youâve done it so many times.
After you put your phone on Rafeâs nightstand, you snuggle into him, your head resting on his shoulder. You yawn, getting goosebumps from the way his fingers trail up and down your arm.
âNeed a distraction?â you ask.
âNo,â Rafe replies tiredly. For once, his mind isnât racing. The mix of chaos and calm he thought he felt with you is no longer a mix at all. Itâs just calm. Itâs just peace.
You wake up in Rafeâs arms, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek and his breaths on the top of your head. It feels unreal recounting last night, remembering the amount of times he told you he loves you.
You shift slowly to get out of bed, putting on your bra and underwear and slipping into his bathroom. Heâs sitting up in bed when you come back out. His eyes immediately trail down your body, a smile growing on his face.
âWhat?â you ask.
âYouâre justâŠâ Rafe exhales, resting his arm out on the bed in a way to beckon you to come back. âPerfect.â
âYou mean as a friend?â you joke. You settle back into bed on your knees as he chuckles.
âFuck no,â he answers, making you laugh. âDo you have to leave?â
âI donât,â you say. Your body warms when you see the relief on his face. Now that youâve sealed the rift that lived between you for so long, you can see just how badly Rafe wants you around.
But it doesnât feel like a dream anymore. This feels right. Like you were meant to be with him all along.
âWould you wanna go down to the water?â you ask.
He nods. Itâs like your kids again; heâd go anywhere you want just to see you smile.
Itâs a windy morning by the sea. The sun is covered by clouds as you sit on the private beach next to Rafe. He drapes an arm around you, rubbing your arm to keep you warm. He feels like now that heâs been given permission to touch you, he canât stop.
âThe hours we spent out here,â you mumble. Rafe gazes at your profile as you look out at the horizon.
The dark blue sea makes you think of all the possibilities, of everything to come. You turn to catch him staring.
âI didnâtâŠâ Rafe gently shakes his head. He didnât know this was possible. âYou know how people say they can feel someone around them after they⊠after they die?â
You nod. He feels guilty as hell with what heâs about to say.
âI never did,â he admits. Your face drops in shock and sadness. You canât imagine how lonely heâs felt. âBut right now, itâs like⊠itâs like sheâs about to call us up to eat. I can feel her here.â
You feel like your heart is whole and broken at the same time. You lean to kiss his cheek over and over, the waves crashing in the distance.
âI need to stop trying to forget her,â Rafe says sadly.
He glances down at the sand, and you can tell anxiety is starting to grip him. You take a deep breath before you speak.
âI think sheâd understand why you did,â you say. âWhat do you think about getting her flowers?â
Blue eyes find yours. He hasnât visited her grave in years. If he does today, heâll need you with him.
âYeah,â he says simply, dusting the sand off his jeans as he heads to the patch of grass by the boardwalk.
The cemetery is quiet and tranquil. You drove over on his motorcycle, holding onto him tighter than you needed to. Your shoes pad over the paved walkway, feeling more and more nervous as you approach where she rests.
The headstone isnât as big as Rafe remembers, but he figures itâs because he was much smaller when he visited last. He starts to cry as soon as he sees the photo of her in the center of the plaque. He forgot that was there.
Tears burn your eyes when you watch him slowly drop to his knees, his hands splayed on the lush grass.
You read the epitaph over and over again. When love is eternal, life cannot die.
Rafe forgot that he was holding the flowers he picked and he realizes he broke some stems, but when he looks at her photo again, he puts the flowers right at the corner of the headstone, knowing she was always happy with any bouquet he gave her, no matter the condition.
You sink beside him, resting a hand on his back.
âShould I talk?â he stammers. âI donât know what to do.â
âYou do whatever feels right,â you reply.
âCan you talk?â he asks.
âYes,â you say. Youâve been yearning to talk like this with him for years. âYou know you have her smile?â
âReally?â
âYes,â you say. âItâs one of the reasons I love seeing you happy.â
Rafe nods, a tear dripping off his chin. He needs you to keep talking.
âAnd I remember she was always winking at me,â you say. âI donât know if you saw.â
âShe did that because she knew I had a crush on you,â Rafe mumbles. You smile sadly, rubbing his back.
âIâm pretty sure she knew I had one on you, too,â you say. âShe was so smart and so sweet. Everyone could see how much she loved being your mom.â
Rafe offers you a grateful smile.
âI miss her,â he says, his voice brittle.
âMe, too,â you reply. âIâm sorry. I can go back to the parking lot if you want?â
Youâre offering to give him time alone here. And to his surprise, he nods. He can do this. You kiss his temple and give him the moment he needs.
Rafe is sitting in silence for a minute before he finds the words. He stares at her photo.
âIâm sorry I made you drive that night,â he mumbles. âIâm sorry I always got mad at you when you called me your baby. I just wanted to grow up and you told me to enjoy being young and you were right.â
He clears his throat.
âIâm sorry I dug myself into a hole and tried to forget you. But I think sheâs right. Youâd understand.â
He cracks a small smile, remembering when he first told his mom he liked you, how nervous and giddy he felt.
âStill want to marry her,â he says. He can hear the way she laughed when her ten-year-old son told her he hoped youâd be his wife one day, but heâd still want to live at home so heâd beg for you to move in. âShe never left my side, mom. I gave her every reason to but I think she saw how much I was hurting.â
Rafe promises her he wonât let so much time pass before he visits again. And when he finds you standing by his bike, he holds you so tightly that he feels your heart beating against his.
Everything is different for him now. He hasnât had the comfort of permanence in his life for a long time. He canât believe you want him, even after youâve seen the worst of him.
Rafe never takes his hands off of you. At every party, on every date, he always has to be touching you in some way to remind himself that he has you for real.
It takes a few tries, but he manages to quit coke. And eventually, he quits waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for you to decide he isnât worth the effort.
Heâs with you every step of the trial. The lawyer says Ty getting five years in prison is a win, but he thinks the only win would be a life sentence.
Eventually, the trauma loses its power over you. You feel safe. Not because your ex is locked up, but because Rafe is with you.
You stand by him for everything. Every breakdown he has, every time he sinks into his grief, every storm that reminds him of the worst night of his life. You never leave.
You love him for long enough that he finally believes if someone as amazing as you can see something in him, it must be there.
Epilogue
You didnât ask for much for the wedding. One thing that you were sure about was that you wanted an event artist, someone to paint the day on a canvas to capture it in a unique way.
Rafe is happy to to along with it, but then again, heâs like that with everything when it comes to you. You could never ask too much from him. Heâll forever feel like he owes you for never giving up on him.
The banquet hall is massive and beautifully decorated, and you can hardly hear your own thoughts over the crowdâs chatter and elegant music. The day has been a whirlwind.
When the artist waves you over, you take Rafeâs hand.
âWant to see the painting?â you ask.
âYeah,â he says, beaming at you simply because of how excited you are.
You had secretly asked the artist to include Anne in the painting. When your eyes land on the canvas, seeing her drawn in with everyone else who stood at the altar warms your heart.
You look up at Rafe, whose mouth is just slightly agape. He stares at his motherâs image, smiling behind him, then looks down, scratching the back of his neck and finding your hand before he leads you away.
âJust a second,â you say to the artist before you let Rafe take you to a dressing room past the hallway.
He shuts the door behind you, facing you with glossy eyes.
âDid I mess up?â you say worryingly. âIâm so sorry. I wanted to surprise you. I thought youâd like it.â
âHey,â Rafe says softly, hands on your cheeks. âI love it. I just didnât want to cry in front of everyone. Iâve been barely keeping it together today.â
You laugh in relief, tipping your chin so heâll kiss you. His lips meet yours. Youâre pretty sure your guests could tell he got teary-eyed when he watched you walk down the aisle, but youâll spare him that detail.
Rafe finds relief from your touch, like always. His mom was here today. He felt it. He feels her all the time now. And youâre still a reminder, but in the best possible way, because you show him that he can remember the good parts. That he can feel love even after someoneâs left. That he doesnât need to carry guilt. That he can look forward to the future.
Apart from the second he became your husband, this is the best moment youâve had today, because itâs just you two, just like it was when you were kids on the beach, enjoying each otherâs company, never wanting to part.
(the end) (continuation blurbs)
authorâs note thank you to everyone who stuck with this series đ ps did you know tumblr has a text block limit? learned that the hard way lmao. so iâm sorry that some paragraphs got long! hated to sacrifice my structure but had to do it to keep all 10k+ words in đ
#this is about 10k+ words so get cozy đ€#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and reader#rafe cameron and y/n
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Miguel OâHara x F! Reader
Synopsis: You babysit Mayday, it puts thoughts into Miguelâs head.
Genre: smut!
Warnings: smut, 18+, breeding kink, unprotected sex, pregnancy kink, p in v sex, kissing, biting, fingering, choking, spanking, daddy kink slipped in there at the end
Gif credits to owners!
Miguel was expecting to come home to his beautiful wife, eat some food, maybe make love to her, and bask in each otherâs warmth until they fell asleep. What he sure didnât expect was to come home to said wife babysitting Mayday for Peter. You might have forgotten to mention to Miguel that you were babysitting tonight.
Honestly, you didnât mention it because you didnât want him to say no and Peter and MJ really needed the night out. No baby. So now you and your husband were going to have a night in. With a baby.
To say Miguel wasnât thrilled would be an understatement. He was borderline angry with you at the âslipâ of your mind. Itâs not like Miguel hated Mayday in any aspect but the thought of you holding a baby brought up strange feelings inside of him.
He had tried for the year that Mayday has been around to try and push those feelings down. But every time he saw you even glance at the baby had him all in a fit. Miguel didnât think heâd ever be ready for a child again, but seeing you so motherly was changing his mind.
I mean, he didnât think heâd ever want to get married again and there you were changing his plans.
You two have had the baby talk before, as well. You were always so understanding of his past and never pushed him too far. But he did notice the disappointment on your face when he had said he never wanted kids.
Never? Why had he said never? It was such a harsh conclusion and in recent months, it was one he was regretting making.
He could imagine you now, belly full of his seed, a prominent bump showing what the two of you had made.
Shit. He needed to get those images out of his or he wouldnât be able to hold back.
Shaking his head Miguel retreated to the kitchen, leaving you to continue to play with the baby uninterrupted. Busying himself with looking through the cabinets, like he wanted to cook something.
âMiggy?â You questioned as you entered the kitchen, Mayday perched on your hip. He turned and took in the sight, imagining what a mini you would look like. He sighed.
âDid you want me to make you something to eat?â You were trying to read the look on his face.
âNo.â He grumbled and pushed pass you and into the living room.
âMiguel, I know youâre mad that I didnât tell you. But it was an honest mistake. Plus, you know I love Mayday and since we-â
âDonât.â He cut you off. Your mouth snapped closed at what you were about to say. Before you could apologize Miguel made his way to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind him. You blinked in shock, you didnât want to start a fight in front of poor little Mayday. This would have to be brought up later.
It was nearing the time that Peter was supposed to arrive to pickup Mayday. You were a bit sad to say goodbye to her but you were also exhausted. Suddenly, you understood why Peter didnât even change out of his pajamas most days. Especially with a spider baby!
She stuck to everything! And being someone without powers, your knowledge on the matter wasnât very strong. Sure, you knew a lot about Miguelâs powers but he was whatâŠSpider-Man number 30 out of 1 million? You wished you could ask Miguel for some help.
Eventually you figured out the best way to unstick Mayday was to distract her. Show her a toy, play peekaboo, maybe give her snack. Anything to keep her hands busy and off your ceiling. You hadnât heard Miguel much through the night. You figured he had gone to sleep or was silently doing some work.
When you agreed to watch Mayday, you hoped the two of you would be able to do this as a team. But obviously, that thought was all wrong.
Peter came about 30 minutes later, knocking on your door. Miguel heard the door open, a few words being exchanged, and a rush of thank yous as the door shut once again. In a few quick steps you were moving across the house and throwing open the bedroom door. Miguelâs wife was not happy.
âReally Miggy? Slamming my doors now?â Usually the tone of her voice would make Miguel instantly apologize but he was too wound up to care.
âYes Iâm slamming our doors!â His voice was slightly raised as he gave a lackluster response, cringing at himself.
âAll this and because I decided to help Peter out! You know they never get to go out. We are their friends Miguel, we should be helping them out!â
âI donât mind helping out our friends, but this favorâŠI just.â He groans, running his face across his face and through his hair. His usually tight posture, slumping in exasperation.
âWhat Miggy? What is so aggravating about that little baby?â Your hands were on your hips, face turning red with your increasing anger. He was not going to get away with throwing this tantrum.
âItâs not the baby that is aggravating! Itâs me seeing you with the baby!â His eyes soften as he admits the truth.
You were shocked, not understanding the meaning behind his words, âIâm the aggravating one?â
âNo! Mi amor, itâs how I canât get the thought of you round and pregnant out of my mind. The image of you running around chasing a child that we created. I thought after everything that I would never want that again butâŠâ
It finally clicks, âYouâre mad we donât have a baby!â
âIâm mad Iâm not inside you right now putting a baby in youâ His eyes darken and rake across your form.
He crosses the room in three long strides, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling your body into his. His lips ghost along your neck, his hot breath creating goosebumps on your skin.
His mouth reaching your ear, whispering, âDo you want that? Want me to get you pregnant, baby?â
You can only whimper in response, which eggs Miguel on further, finally connecting his lips to yours. Desperation coats the kiss as he basically devours you.
He nips at your lower lip, pulling away. Looking down at you he takes a step back, your body reacts instinctively and tries to close the distance again. He stops you by cupping your clothed core. A strangled noise passes your lips as he uses his other hand to pull your dress over your head.
âMmm, wore this like you knew Iâd want easy access. Always so eager for this cock, hm?â His deep voice and words cause you to get even wetter.
The hand on your core moves a bit to tease you. He feels your wetness, moaning in satisfaction.
âI might not even need to prep you, baby. Wanna breed you like you werenât meant to be bred.â
His hand grips your neck leading you towards the bed. The hand now makes it way behind your neck and brings your lips to his once again. The force causes you to moan.
âWhy donât you get on all fours for me?â He says it like a question, but you know itâs a command.
You do as you were told and get onto the bed on your hands and knees. You let your knees naturally rest a bit apart, knowing that he will just adjust you if he needs it. A hand runs down your spine, sending a shiver down with it. It reaches your ass and gives a squeeze before landing a firm smack there. Suddenly you hear a rip and feel your wet core exposed to the cool air. You glance down realizing that he had torn off your underwear.
You gasp, âMiggy!â Usually you wouldâve found this extremely hot, if those werenât your favorite panties!
âIâll buy you new ones. Besides until youâre pregnant youâre not leaving this bed. You wonât be needing panties for a while.â Okay, now itâs hot again.
He doesnât wait for you to respond and inserts a finger inside of you. He pumps the finger in and out quickly, testing how wet you are.
âAlready all wet and ready for me. Just how I like you.â
Quickly, he pulls the finger out and before you can even protest at the loss he pushes his dick fully inside of you to the hilt. Another gasp passes your lips at the intrusion. He gives you no time to adjust before setting a pace, ravaging your body with his thick cock.
He continues his assault, pushing deep inside of you before pulling out almost completely and repeating the action. The force of his thrusts are making it hard for you to think, let alone hold yourself up. But when you start to fall to your elbows, his hand is quickly wrapped around your throat holding you up.
âHave you at the perfect angle, can feel all of you.â Is all he says as his fingers tighten on your throat. Your vision goes black from the intense pleasure.
He fucks into you harder as the pressure of his fingers releases slowly, letting some air back into your lungs. When you have enough air, you are moaning out as a particular thrust hits the perfect spot.
âMiggy please, need you to make me cum. Need your cum in me.â
His large body incapsulates yours at your confession. The hand that was on your throat makes it way down to your clit, rubbing circles into it. His teeth bite down into your shoulder, sending a shock of pleasure through you as you cum hard onto his cock.
The clenching of your orgasm causes him to groan and falter a bit, before he regains his head and pace.
âMmm, gonna cum in you baby. Gonna make you a mommy.â He says as he shoots his seed into your awaiting womb. His orgasm seems longer and stronger than usual as he bites your shoulder once again.
After he recovers, he releases your throat, letting you fall into the plush sheets. Miguel slides out of you and pulls your body into his. He rubs your back in slow circles, calming you both down.
Eventually you speak up, âSo what do you think? Think it worked, daddy?â Lust drips from your voice at the name.
âFuck, maybe, and even if it didnât Iâm ready to go again. Just want you so full of my cum that you can feel it with every breath.â
And fill you he did.
#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel spiderverse#miguel spiderman#miguel x reader#miguel x you#miguel smut#miguel x y/n#miguel 2099#miguel ohara#miguel oâhara fanfiction#miguel ohara fanfiction#Miguel ohara smut#Miguel ohara story#Miguel ohara x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#atsv#spiderman atsv#atsv fanfiction#atsv x reader#atsv fanfic
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Anatomy of a Kiss
Summary: You and Logan agree on one thing: you both hate each other. So what happens when you kiss him?
Word count: 4.2 K
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. S MUT Not Betaâd. ONE DEADPOOL X WOLVERINE SPOILER AHEAD! Read at your own risk. S MUT! Enemies to lovers; snark to fluff, idiots in love; use of the words stupid, dumb, insipid as insults. Reader's father is either a mobster or a mutant villain, or both; (Reader may or may not be a mutant herself), a couple dark themes and mention of parent death; Reader has Daddy issues; Reader is a thicc girlie; Princess and Old Man as nicknames; there are two slaps; a tipsy kiss; povs switch thorughout the fic. pining; insinuations of masturbation, oral (f receiving), spitting, praise and degredation kink, size kink, creampie, cum play, explicit sex acts, raw p in v (wrap it up) voice kink, this Logan is Dom Logan.
A/N: This was in my soul for a couple of weeks, but I don't feel it's all that great. Here goes. Let me know if you like it by reblogging, liking and commenting please. Thank you. âșïž
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I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
-----
The biggest mistake that Logan Howlett ever made in his life was kissing you back.
Because now he was never going to get you out of his system.Â
â--
You were celebrating.
Being being voted best small business owner and philanthropist in the city was a big fucking deal. You decided to let your hair down and let go of your famous self-control and discipline for one night.
And now you were tooted on most of a bottle of Moet and Chandon as you walked back to your high rise apartment from the civic center.
It was a perfect night and you stopped and smiled at the moon, feeling sublime.Â
Until you heard his voice.
âKeep moving before I throw you over my shoulder and get you inside myself, Princess.â
You rolled your eyes at your body guard, the only thing your father offered you that you didnât reject.
Because you werenât stupid.Â
Other than sharing his dna, you were not like your father at all, and you divested yourself of everything that had to do with him.
âWhat about the penthouse? You kept that.â
Your body felt engulfed as if by flames. You were angry, both at the fact that youâd apparently said all that out loud, and at Loganâs audacity.
âFuck you, Howlett. The apartment is my motherâs. But she died because of my dad and thatâs why he wants to âprotectâ me.â
You wobbled as you did your air quotes, and you could sense Logan ready to spring to catch you if you fell. You recovered quickly, however, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
âBut he can't seem to do the one thing that will protect me. Get out of the life. Heâs an old man, for heavenâs sake!â
Logan chuckled and shook his head.
âHeâs not so old.â
You were in full blown argument mode.
âHeâs over 70.â
âLike I said, heâs not so old. And you donât know so much, little girl. Life is not that simple.â
âI am 32 years old, Mr. Howlett. I am not one of those little girls that fawn all over you. I am a woman.â
You straightened up and you knew that your thick body in the black cocktail dress was banging.
Loganâs eyes reflected your body, although he was staring back into yours. Heâd taken it all in earlier.
âYou are a teeny, tiny little Princess.â
He was fucking infuriating as he smiled down at you like that. The alcohol made you step to him.
âSomeone needs to kiss that insipid smirk off your face, Howlett.â
That stupid eyebrow shot up, and your belly flipped.
Slap. You meant slap, but Logan was quicker than your champagne brain.
âI dare you, Princess.â
â-----
After what happened happened, you hightailed it back to your building, the electricity zapping around the elevator as you stared each other down. As soon as the doors opened, you moved as quickly as your tipsy legs would take through your foyer and living room and down the hallway to your bedroom door.
Logan followed you.
âPrincessââ
The door slammed in his face, and he stood there for a good five minutes, restraining himself from knocking it down, before he relented and made his way back to his own room.Â
Heâd confront you tomorrow (later today), when you were sober.
â-
On the other side of the door, you were thinking of packing your bags and moving to South America. You needed a continent between you and Logan. How in the world had you allowed yourself to give in to a drunken urge that manifested the late night thoughts that youâd had for months?Â
You were slipping. Bad.
You absolutely could not face him the next day. You leaned against the door, relieved when you heard him leave, and touched your lips. They still felt as if they were swollen from the kiss.Â
You were sobering up now, remembering it. But just a few minutes ago that dare was all you needed to immediately lock your lips onto his.Â
You also remembered the way heâd pulled away in shock and stared at your mouth for a beat before he grabbed your hair, pulled you close again, and kissed you so good that your toes curled.
âFuck! Fuck fuck FUCK! Fuck my life!â
You were losing control. And that was not good. Not good at all.
â
Logan couldnât get you out of his mind.Â
And that pissed him off.
He lay in bed, and thought about how, (if he could die) under penalty of death he would never admit just how often he thought about you.
Heâd been glad for the room at your place that came with the job; bunking with Wade and Althea was getting real old, real fast.Â
But suddenly this arrangement felt too close for comfort.
You didnât need to know about the fact that the movie playing behind his closed eyelids during his little shower workouts every night was your sexy smile, or the way your ass filled out your jeans. Especially those black ones.
And when he thought about you wearing those jeans with that wrap around shirt that showcased your tits just right. Well, fuck. Heâd have gallons of cum for the shower drain.
Nah, you knowing that would only stroke your ego. Somehow, his mind drifted to the other things of yours that needed stroking.
âOh, Fuck all!â
He sat up and sat on the edge of his bed, reaching for a cigar, reason number 634 why you hated him.Â
But if you hated him so much, then why did you kiss him tonight?
â---
Why did you do it? You didnât even like Logan. In fact you hated him.
Right?
You loathed the way he called you Princess, an obvious reminder that you were a trust fund baby, although you were far from a child, and to spite the fact that you were trying to make your own way.
You hated him from the top of his ridiculous thick hair, to the soles of his huge shit-kicker boot clad feet. You hated how tall and how ripped he was, the way his arm veins threaded atop the muscles there and led the way to his thick, calloused fingers that felt so nice against your skin.
You hated the chest hair that poked out from the top of the tacky tank tops and flannel shirts he always wore underneath the ever present leather jacket, and the way his blue jeans showcased the muscles in his thighs.Â
And you absolutely NEVER accidentally gazed at his crotch and ascertained that he was packing.
That would be asinine.
And his stupid face. That was the kicker. Loganâs face would be handsome if he didnât wear that ridiculous smirk all the time on that mouth that might look nice if he was normal.Â
The mouth that felt nice against yours.Â
That might feel nice against yourâŠ
You groaned around your toothbrush and rolled your eyes at yourself, fully sober now after a quick cold shower. But somehow your body was still warm and buzzing.
What the fuck had you done?
âÂ
Logan didnât even like you.
You were bossy, irritating, loud.Â
Fuck, you were loud, always chattering away to your customers, always smiling and making them feel at home.Â
He absolutely loathed the way you were trying to make your own living, despite the fact that your father was loaded. Running a food truck with the best tacos in town drew hundreds of people every day and giving away a portion of your food to the unhoused every night was what irritated Logan the most.Â
More people to watch.
He was sure you did it to surround him with more people to hate. He just knew that you liked pushing his buttons.Â
You just reveled in being the anti-Logan.
The more he glared, the more you glowed.Â
On fucking purpose.
The kicker was you cranking up the karaoke machine on Thursday nights and belting it out to Journey or REO Speedwagon. It was so annoying.Â
Especially the way you closed your eyes and swayed to the music during the bridge. The happy look on your face wasnât beautiful at all, it was simple, and he didnât memorize every curve of your face because it was a dumb one.
He couldnât get away, because he had three months left on the security contract your father signed with him.
It was unfortunate, because you just wouldnât shut up.
Except when his tongue was in your mouth.
No.Â
Even then, you made noises.Â
Those delicious little moans that vibrated down his spine and made his dick harder with every second. Moans that made him see visions of your mouth wrapped around his cock. Moans that gave him a waking dream of you giving him head, andâŠ
Fuck, now Logan had a raging hard on and could not sleep for the life of him.Â
He really did not like you.
â--
Kissing Logan had you in a tailspin.Â
You punched your pillow as you tossed and turned in bed and conjured positive thoughts.
You could forget this.
Pretend it never happened.
Convince yourself that he didnât taste like heaven and hell and the best fucking thing in a long time.
You could forget.
It was fine.
Everything was just fucking fine.Â
All you had to do was completely forget the way he made you feel when he slid his tongue into your mouth. It was easy.Â
Except you were wet as fuck.Â
âListen, bitch. You are not doing me any favors right now,â you mumbled to your cunt.Â
She didn't care.Â
Your pussy just continued to clench on air as if to say, âHeâs right down the hall. Letâs just go finish what we started.â
You groaned and tried to smother yourself with your pillow.
It didnât work.
â-
Logan just kept thinking of the way you stared at him between kisses. Lips parted on a gasp, plump and soft, right before he'd slipped his hand on your neck and kissed you again. Now your taste haunted him.
Logan huffed and put his head in his hands. Flashes of the kiss played like a movie in his head. Finally, he stood up and went to his door, ready to settle this once and for all.
When he opened it, there you were, in just a black camisole and panties, and god, did he want you.
But there was your mouth again.
âI fucking hate you.â
The problem with that was, he could smell you. You might be saying that you hated him, but your body was calling him right now. And Loganâs knees were weak at the power of his lust.
When you looked him in the eye, you licked your lips, your eyes dilated, your nipples tightened into stiff peaks, and your pussy weeping for him, Logan knew it was the end of the line of his self-restraint.
You smelled delicious, like your mandarin orange body wash and your wet-for-him cunt.Â
He stepped toward you and you slapped his face, leaving him with a grin on his face.
Then you slapped him again.
âYou got it out of your system now? That anger?â
He cocked that damned eyebrow at you and moved even closer.Â
âOr is it frustration?â
ââ
You were in trouble now.
Not because you were scared Logan was going to hurt you.
Just the opposite.
Logan dipped his head to smell at your pulse point, body so close, but never touching you. Your arms went to grab his impossible shoulders and that's when his huge paws grabbed your hips, dragging you further into his room as he backed toward his bed.
He was full on nuzzling your neck now, and your eyes were rolling as the tension between you two was finally ebbing.
The words came tumbling out.
âIâm so fucking angry that you get me so frustrated, you ass..â
You were turning your head toward his, wanting his lips again, on his lap now, crotch sat on his unbuttoned jeans, and refusing to move to ignite the fire.
Logan grunted at you.
âI see that. Youâre trying to stare me down even though you are leaking all over me.â
Your body clenched and got wetter at the naming of that fact. You were terrified of what might happen next.
Yet you wanted it so badly.
ââ
Logan couldnât wait any more.
He removed one hand from gripping the flesh at your hips that heâd fantasized about for months, to trailing up your cheek to your hair to take off your scarf.
His fingers were in your hair again and your eyelids stuttered as you mouth dropped open for air.
That made him so fucking hard. And it made him want to kiss you again.
He had to know.
âWhat are you here for, Princess?â
ââ
His sexy whisper would do you in.
For good.
âI donât know.â
Logan was staring at you like you were the treasure chest at the end of a quest as you tried to remain as still as possible on his lap. It was so hard.
Logan was so hard beneath you.
âOh? Letâs run it back to earlier when you werenât letting that big brain of yours get in the way.â
Frustration surged within you and your mouth got reckless.
âStop yapping and just do it already.â
ââ-
âThereâs my girl,â Logan growled at you as his dick responded to the challenge and his eyes flashed at your tone.
âAlways busting my balls, arenât you? Need to give that smart mouth something else to do.âÂ
Before you could reply, Loganâs lips covered yours so perfectly that it was like magnetic puzzle pieces. You fit together and locked.Â
Loganâs tongue traced your lower lip and he drew it into his mouth, nibbling, gently at first and then nipping more harshly, causing a gasp and enabling entry. His tongue swiped at yours as he dominated you.
You were not going to win this round.
ââ
You could only whimper and grab his shoulders tighter as he kissed you. For all that was holy, why did his kisses have to be so damn good?
One of your hands ventured into the thick hair youâd dreamt of feeling between your fingertips and pulled as your desire peaked. Then your palms went to his face as he pulled away and you squirmed as you realized what was about to happen.Â
âWhat are you here for, Princess?â
That question again.
That voice. It rumbled straight to your core and Logan wasnât letting you off the hook.Â
Logan wasnât letting you up off of him.Â
The hardness of his metal button and zipper, but mostly him (oh god he was huge) chaffed your thighs as he sealed his lips over yours again and his hand went from your scalp down your neck and back to your hip again, holding you down to feel him.
You finally moved, smearing your wetness all over your panties and his jeans and Jesus, it felt so good.
ââ
Loganâs eyes took in all of you in your scanty clothing, following your every movement and when his eyes moved down to your damp panties he swallowed audibly. He clenched his jaw with the strain of holding back.
Logan couldnât deny that he wanted you. His 200 year old heart felt brand new.
âMmmmph. Here for this feeling Logan.âÂ
Your voice was the greatest symphony. His stomach clenched when you looked him in the eye.
âIâm here for you.â
You leaned forward and nuzzled his cheek with your nose, then whispered a demand in his ear.
âTouch me, Logan.â
Without thinking, but instinctively careful of you, Loganâs claws extended, shredding the sides of your panties and rendering them in pieces.Â
âFuck!â
You gasped as he stood up with you in his retracted grip and threw you on the bed, the scraps of your underwear abandoning you.
He couldnât stand it anymore, he was so weak for you. He was on his knees at the foot of the bed as he ran his rough hands up and down your legs.
ââ-
âIâm touching you, now what?â
He spoke to you, but he was looking at the juncture of your thighs, at the well-manicured hair there, all casual, as if he werenât teasing the hell out of you.
You had something for him.
âIf you donât know what to do, then Iâll show you.â
You reached up and took off your camisole and Loganâs eyes raked upwards and widened at the sight of what you were holding, which was your breast in one hand, as you pinched and rolled your own nipple. Your other hand trailed down your body as your legs fell open to give yourself access to your clit, which you had the nerve to play with in front of Loganâs face.Â
ââ
Now he was the one who was angry.
Logan snarled, then batted your hand away.
âCareful Princess. Donât poke the Wolverine.â
His hands tightened on your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed where he was.
âââ
Logan leaned down, his hot breath ghosting your pussy as he looked up at you with those gorgeous brown eyes.Â
You couldnât let the moment get too tender.
âWhat if the Wolverine wants to pokeââ
Loganâs hand covered your mouth, cutting you off at just the moment he licked a long, hot, wet stripe up the center of you and then pursed his lips around your clit to suck at you ruthlessly.
Your smart ass remark was forgotten as a moan bubbled up into your throat. Logan took his hand away once it was clear that you couldnât talk anymore, or at least that your capacity for sass had diminished.Â
You were leaning up on your elbow and watching him feast on you, convulsing with each swipe of his broad tongue and each pull on your clit.
As mesmerized as you were at his skill, you managed to brush his thick dark hair away from his eyes so that he could see properly. You didnât want anything getting in the way of the best head youâd ever received.
ââ-
Loganâs hands were now palming the most delicious meal heâd ever eaten; you were practically sitting on his fingers. For him, you tasted even better than you smelled. He couldnât believe it.
He looked up at you incredulously, watching your breasts moving with each heave of your lungs trying to capture air, and your mouth open to capture it. He met your eyes and frowned at you as he reached down and stroked his pulsing cock.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âThe fucking Cuties you eat all day long. They got you tasting like a fucking orange. âS fucking impossible.â
He yanked you closer and buried his face between your legs. You made those cute little noises with every swipe of his tongue, and he licked and sucked until you convulsed in his hands, screaming.
You were still trying to catch your breath before he was on you, licking and suckling your hard and soft breasts.
âDamn,â you murmured as Logan swiped his thick, bulbous head into your entrance and meeting resistance, âYouâre so fucking huge Logan.â
It wasnât the first time heâd heard that phrase, but coming from you it hit different. His chest puffed with pride.
Logn smiled into your neck, inhaling your scent and growling against your skin.
âDonât be scared, Princess. Iâll make it feel good for you. I should be more worried than you are. Iâm gonna split you open, but you are about to shatter me into a thousand pieces.â
He didn't mean to tell you the absolute truth. But he had.
Logan knew there was no coming back from this for him.
ââ
You shuddered at the words which were breathed over your skin.
Logan trailed the tip of his tongue up the side of your neck the looked you in the eye. It was too much.
You lowered your gaze and he chuckled, making you sigh when he tugged on your lobe with his teeth and started pushing inside you. It was slow, but sensual and somehow still desperate.Â
With each increment of himself that he gave you, you felt destroyed, yet you wanted more. You clutched at his chest as you widened your legs for him, as if that would help.
âNo one else has ever made me feel this way. Hurts so good, Logan. More. Please?â
The question was, were you just talking about his penis?
ââ-
You begging him made Logan want to cry as he slipped further inside of you. When he bottomed out, you both shuddered, you at the sensation of such fullness, and him at the way you were so snugly and warmly wrapped around him.
âFuck! Princess. Should have known you would be hot and tight. But I wasnât ready.â
Logan wasnât ready for you at all.
â-
His pupils were completely blown and the look on Loganâs face made you clench down even tighter as he stroked deeper into you.Â
âY-yess, feels so good.âÂ
You felt like liquid in his arms. Your hands moved over his shoulders as you hitched your thigh around his hips. He ran his hand up your thigh and around to your leg, holding you in place as he began to pound into you harder.
You whispered a confession into his ear.
âIâve dreamed about this so many times.âÂ
Logan lifted his head from watching his cock destroy you, his brow arched in surprise.Â
âYouâve dreamt about me?âÂ
You bit your lip and nodded, all of a sudden feeling shy.Â
âAt night after a tense night between us, Iâd go to my room and imagine that youâd follow me toâŠshut me up.â
Your lashes fanned your face as you smirked.
âOh yeah?â
Logan swiveled his hips and you gasped. He was lighting you up from the inside.
âSounds like a cool dream, Princess,â he said, leaning down to your ear.
âBut youâre talking far too much in reality.â
And he began snapping his hips at a frenzied pace, causing your back to arch and your mouth to fall open, leaving you moaning until you screamed with your orgasm.
You couldnât talk; hell you couldnât even think when he was going like this.
ââ
At this point, there was no more finesse; Logan was stroking in and out of you, almost completely leaving you and reentering just to feel that sensation again. The way his fat cockhead breached you was like no other feeling in the world.
Your arched back was displaying your breasts to him at a perfect angle. It inspired something within him.
âLook at you Princess. All gorgeous and fucked out and taking this cock for me. All dumb now. Bet you like not having to think so much. Just take it like the good little slut you are for me, yeah?â
His filthy commentary made the coil in your belly snap, and you came like a freight train, squeezing him so much that he had pull out to keep from coming himself.
He kissed you as you could only whimper in protest. Logan felt a warmth blooming in his chest that he hadnât felt in a long time, if at all, as you lay melted in his arms.
He couldnât wait to be back inside you.
âCanât tell you how many times I dreamt about having you under me just⊠like⊠thisâŠ.â
And he slid back home.
âMmm⊠those lips down there suck my tip so well, how will these lips do?â
Loganâs thick thumb was in your mouth and you swirled your tongue around it to show him what your mouth could do. He groaned and pried your mouth open with his hand.
âKeep it open and do what I say.â
ââ-
The band was tightening in your belly again. You knew what was coming and nearly came again when Logan spit into your mouth. The orgasms were blending together now.
âSwallow.â
You did, and Logan thrust into you hard an deep while thrumming your clit. That was all it took for you to cum again and this time, you gushed around him, making a mess on his bed.
He looked down in disbelief and laughed with glee, handling you like a fuck doll to do with as he pleased.
That's when you realized that you loved being used by him.
âBet ya didnât dream youâd be such a dirty little slut for me, did ya, Princess?â
ââ
Logan realized that he was your slut, too. He was lost to your sounds, the sight of your beautiful lust drunk face, and the feeling of your cunt squeezing him with multiple orgasms now.
He started tracing urgent circles on your clit again.
âLook at me.â
Thatâs when you said the most beautiful words to him.
âSo fucking good L-Logan. Cum inside me. Please. âM on the pill.â
âMusic to⊠my fucking.. earsâŠ.â
ââ
Loganâs fingers moved to your shoulders, holding you captive as he stroked deeper and harder. His harsh breaths in your ear increased, the most erotic sound in the world.
You clamped down on him and he growled, his cock pulsing as he spilled inside you, the warm wave of fluid combing and causing a lovely, filthy mess.
It was so satisfying.
And you couldnât let it lie.
ââ
He pulled out and stared at the ceiling in disbelief, before looking over at you to find you playing in his cum and licking your fingers, leaning over to give him a taste on your lips.
âWhat? You tired, Old Man?â
He shook his head and laughed as his cock came back to life.
Kissing you back had been the biggest mistake of his life.
He was never going to get you out of his system.
And he wasn't sure he wanted to.
-----
You shivered as Logan loomed over you, with that damned eyebrow cocked and that smirk on his face.
âOh Princess. You have no idea what youâre in for.â
Then Logan grabbed you and kissed you again.
ââ
Reblog if you enjoyed it! đ„°
#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine smut#wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett smut#marvel mcu#marvel mcu smut#logan howlett x reader#Deadpool x Wolverine spoilers#the wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#wolverine x you#james logan howlett#logan james howlett#logan howlett x black!reader#logan howlett x plus size!reader#marvel#high jackman#hugh jackman characters
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Dead Silent Ship Prompt: The Bat boys decide to do the normal male relative thing and warn Danny off of hurting Cass. Cass immediately shows up to scare them into stopping. Danny, of course, is oblivious to all of this.
(It got kinda long lmao)
"Hey."
Danny turned, looking up at the four Wayne sons that were surrounding him. Jason had his arms crossed, emphasizing his biceps, while Tim frowned, Dick had his hands on his hips, and Damian held a sheathed sword in his hands. All four of them looked grim and serious.
"Hello," Danny said, perking up. "What's up?"
"You know that we love our sister a lot, right?" Dick said.
Danny nodded. "Yes. I'm glad she has such good brothers like you guys. I'm pretty jealous of it."
After all, his brother was an alternate universe version of himself who hated his guts and all humanity (with the exception of their sisters). Danny also wanted a brother who he could hang with, but it was great that Cass got such good brothers.
He wondered why they were talking about her now, though?
Dick faltered. Jason and Tim grimaced.
"Well, you also know that she's our only sister. So that means that we care for her a lot, and as her brothers, we have to protect her," Jason said.
Danny nodded again. "Yeah, I get that. I want to protect my sisters too. That's a pretty admirable trait!"
Jason paused and then looked at Tim. Tim then said, "Well, Cass is a good person. In fact, she's the best. In fact, I can almost say that she deserves a whole lot better than you."
It seemed as though he was about to continue, but Danny couldn't help but agree. "I know right? She's amazing. I'm so lucky to have her as a girlfriend."
Tim frowned and they all looked at each other with unreadable looks. It almost looked confused?
Danny blinked. Was he not supposed to say something? Maybe he shouldn't have interrupted.
Damian hesitated, looking at Dick for reassurance before he turned to Danny with a glare, pulling out his sword. His blade glinted as it made a sharp sound after being unsheathed. âIf my sister gets hurt, be sure to remember that I will be the one to clean up the filth.â
Oh, would Damian be cleaning up the blood or something? Well, Danny didnât need the extra help, he was already pretty good with it, but if Cass was hurt in this hypothetical scenario, then it would be good if he had an extra pair of hands to take care of other matters while he soothed her.
âThanks!â Danny said, smiling warmly.
Now all four of them exchanged baffled and dismayed looks.
Danny also wanted to join in. He was starting to feel like they werenât on the same page for some reason.
The window opened and Cass slipped inside, her expression set in a glare with a light pink on her cheeks, like she was pleased but also displeased. She scowled at her brothers, while their expressions changed into something guilty.
Danny blinked as another invisible conversation started between them all. He was beginning to think that there was something going on that he didnât understand.
âWhat did they say to you?â Cass asked, much later when she had unfortunately driven her brothers away.
Danny looked at her, blinking.
âHonestly? Iâm not really sure.â
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton#ask#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#tim drake#danny x cass#cassandra wayne#cassandra cain#dead silent ship#anon ask#ty for the ask!
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Just discovered you and love your writing! Was hoping to request something for when you have the time or desire to write đ
Could you please do a Slytherin boy being betrothed to the reader where they know about each other and are in the same friend group but they never want to outright acknowledge it. They both secretly like each other but try to date other people because they dont want to be forced into being together.
Maybe someone gets too jealous and mad and then things escalate đ
Thank you for considering đ„°đ€©
I was having a hard time choosing which boy, so I hope Draco works. If not, send me another request! <3
Possessive
Draco Malfoy x F!Reader
Warnings: Oral(male and female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, cream pie, cussing
18+ Minors DNI!
The Malfoys and your parents had arranged for you and Draco to get married after you guys graduate. You never hated Draco and he never hated you, but the thought of being forced into a marriage with someone was something that pissed you off.
You both were friends and that never did change after the arrangement, even if it did get a little awkward. It made your friend group a little weird for a bit since they all knew, but no one dared to speak about it since both you and Draco threatened them if they mentioned it again.
Normally, Draco wouldnât go against his parents, but having his future already decided for him made him start rebelling. Even you started to as well. You both would date, makeout, hookup with other people, trying to ignore the other person. You knew you were going to be married anyways eventually, why not experience other people before that?
But, deep down, both of you liked each other. As much as Draco didnât like the idea of his future being controlled, he really did love that it was going to be with you. And same with you, you were happy you were going to be with him, you were just mad at your parents for forcing this onto you.
Even though he was trying to ignore you and have fun with other people, he was really falling harder for you. The way youâd smile and laugh when hanging out together with all your friends. Your jokes. Your personality.
Something snapped in him one day when he saw a guy hitting on you at one of the Slytherin parties. He tried pushing the jealousy away. You were his fiance, after all. Heâd have you in the long run. But then the guy started touching you. A hand on your waist. He was going to cut his hand off.
Before he even realized it, he was walking towards you. He grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the guy.
âWhat the fuck?â You asked Draco as he was dragging you away, guiding you to his dorm. âLet go, Draco!â
âNo.â He said coldly. He brought you in his room, closing the door.
âWhat the fuck was that about?â You yelled, pulling your arm out of his grip.
âYou canât do that! Youâre fucking mine!â Draco said angrily.
âYouâve been dating and hooking up with other people, too. You canât say that to me!â You crossed your arms in front of your chest.
âYouâre going to be my fucking wife!â Draco said as he grabbed the hair on the back of your head possessively, making sure you looked up at him. âNot his. Not anyone elseâs. Mine.â
âThatâs not fair, Draco.â You said calmly, looking into his eyes. âYouâve been doing the same.â
âIâm done with them. I donât want them anymore. I want you.â He matched your calmness, but kept his grip on your hair.
âYou canât just do that, Draco. Iâll be yours in the future, let me have my fun.â
âI can give you your fun, though.â He used his hand in your hair to tilt your head back further, moving his head to start pressing kisses to your neck. âLet me show you. If you hate it, Iâll leave you alone until the wedding.âÂ
âIâŠâ You were struggling, partially from hesitation, not knowing if you should. The other part was because of the way he was kissing your neck and the hand in your hair.
âCome on, darling. Just once.â He whispered.
âFine.â You agreed, uncrossing your arms.
He didnât say anything, but moved his hands to pick you up and dropped you on the bed with him hovering over you. He spent a few moments just running his hands over you, like he was happy to finally have you all to himself, even for just a little bit.
âI'm gonna make sure you want no one else but me now.â He said as he started to undress you. âSo fucking stunning.â He ran his hands all over you again once he got you naked. He wanted to worship you, kiss, lick, bite, touch all over you.
But he had to prove a point, he needed to show you who you belong to. And he really needed to feel you.
He got undressed as well, letting you rake your eyes over him. God, he loved seeing your eyes running over his body.
He leaned back down to start kissing you. His hands ran down your body again, giving your breasts a good squeeze before continuing its path down. He pulled away and moved to lay down beside you, moving you so your pussy was right above his face and you faced towards his lower half. He didn't waste any time before licking your cunt, moaning at the taste. You started moaning above him as you placed your hands down on his chest for support. He urged you to lean further down with a gentle hand on your back. You knew what he was going for and leaned down, wrapping a hand around his dick before spitting on cock then taking him in your mouth.
You both were pleasing each other with your mouths. His tongue alternating between licking at your clit and fucking your hole while you bobbed your head up and down his dick. Your moans were muffled by his cock as he moaned into your pussy. His mouth on you was so distracting, even his hands grabbing your ass were drawing your attention. Your movements were faltering and he started thrusting up into your mouth, making you gag on his cock.
âCome on, darling. I know you can do better than that.â He said as he gave your ass a spank.
You moaned and tried focusing back on sucking him off.
âThat's my girl. Don't stop.â He said before putting his mouth back on your pussy.
He was still helping by thrusting into your mouth, itâs like he wanted to hear you gagging and moaning around him. His mouth continued its attack on your pussy, licking and sucking and prodding at your hole. It was getting distracting again. Draco noticed and flipped you to lay beside him, quickly settling back between your legs as he continued licking at your clit. He pushed two fingers inside you, too, looking up at you to watch your face.
âMy mouth too distracting for you, love?â He teased before sucking on your clit.
Your hands went to his hair, arching into his mouth. âShit! Yes!â You answered with an eager nod.
âAnd you wanted to have fun with someone else tonight.â He said after he let go of your clit. He continued licking and sucking, hearing all your pretty moans.Â
He had you cumming on his mouth and fingers like he knew your body perfectly already. You cried out his name as you trembled, gripping his hair tightly. He helped you ride it out, using his free hand to rub your thigh.
He pulled off of you and flipped you over, pushing on your back gently to get you to lean down into the pillows.
âYou're so gorgeous. I can't believe you were letting other people but me touch you, angel.â He said softly, but you could feel his anger and jealousy seething from him.
He pushed into you, definitely not as gently as his voice. You yelped at the intrusion before moaning at how nice his dick felt in you. He barely gave you a moment to adjust before he was thrusting in you. His cock was hitting deep in you, making you grip at the sheets below you as you moaned.
âDraco.â You moaned his name. âSo deep. Fuck.â
âYeah? Never had anyone this deep in you before?â He asked, gripping at your hips.
âNo. Shit!â You cried into the pillows as you buried your face in them.
He wasn't having that and grabbed your hair again, pulling your head up from the pillows. âWanna hear you, darling. No one's ever made you feel this good?â
âNo! No! Just you!â You cried out, moaning from his brutal pace.
âJust me? Do you wanna fuck any of those other assholes anymore?â He moved his hand on your hip to your clit.
âNo! I don't!â You were teetering on the edge now.
âGood. Who do you belong to, darling?â He asked, feeling how you were clenching on him as he groaned.
âI belong to you, Draco!â You cried out.
âYou gonna cum? Gonna cum all over my cock, sweet girl?â He asked, his own thrusts losing tempo.
âYes! I'm gonna cum!â He kept his pace as best as he could before you came, trembling and crying his name with a few curses.
He was right behind you, filling your sweet pussy with his cum. He rode out his high before pulling out and watching his cum dripping out as he rubbed along your back gently.
He never wanted anyone else to touch you again. You were his future wife. You belonged to him and him to you.
#slytherin boys#slytherin boys smut#slytherin boys x reader#draco malfoy x you#draco malfoy x reader smut#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy smut
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driving around | l.n.
synopsis: in which you're too stubborn for your own good
a/n: thank you so much @rayaharper for requesting this !!â€ïž
my masterlist
âYouâre not drivingâ
âWhy not??âÂ
âYouâre sick, Iâm not risking putting you behind the wheel just because youâre stubbornâ
You had been bickering like this for nearly 10 minutes now, neither of you wanting to compromise for the other.Â
Itâs not like you were that sick, you were coughing a bit, with a runny nose, sore muscles and a little temperature. You were basically fine and good to go.
But Lando didnât agree on that.
He blamed what he called the âVerstappen stubborn gene.â He always made fun of you and your brother, Max, for sharing that stubborn trait that he hated so much.
It was also because he was a stubborn person as well, which meant that you would oftentimes clash regarding pretty much everything.
Just like you were doing now.
You were insisting to drive you and Lando to the track so he could get some more rest and the boy was having none of it.
âJust because Iâm a little sick doesnât mean Iâm incapable of driving, Landoâ you complained, rolling your eyes which hurt right in your sinuses.
That should have been the first sign to stop you from being so adamant to drive, but you werenât about to give up so easily.
âLittle sick? Youâve been burning up for 2 days and can barely get any sleep without waking up in cold sweat. You hardly eat anything and your sinuses are cloggedâ he reasoned, making you look at him.
He was right. Everything he was saying was the truth.
But it still didnât sway you.
âItâs just a cold, I can manage just fineâ you said before opening the door and getting into the driverâs seat.
Lando sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hates how stubborn you were at times, and he knew that his attempts to get you to let him drive would be in vain.
With that being said, he just sighed once again and got into the passenger seat.
âJust so weâre clear, I donât condone this and Iâm really not okay with you driving in this stateâ he said once he buckled up, tracking your every movement with his eyes.
âBabe, Iâll be fine. Itâs just a short ride, itâs not like Iâll be driving for hoursâ you attempted to soothe him, but it clearly wasnât working.
He only hummed and looked back at the road, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
As you started the relatively short drive from your hotel and towards the track, you could slowly feel your eyes burning, the soreness in your muscles escalating with each minute and your headache coming in strong.
It was in those moments that you knew he had been right and you shouldnât have insisted on driving. You could feel nausea coming quickly onto your body, making you swallow harshly in order to tame it for now.
You had barely made it to the track safely, Lando already knowing that you would be way too tired to even watch the race after this.
âI told you soâ he said, standing beside you as you weakly managed to get out of the car.
You glared at him, the movement hurting your sinuses even more.Â
âI just wanted you to get some more rest before we got hereâ you said, pouting at him with glossy eyes.
He sighed when he looked at you, bringing you into his arms right away. He kissed your forehead, frowning once he felt how hot you were and saw how sick you actually looked.
âI know you did, but baby, youâre sick. I donât want to rest when youâre feeling like this, I want to take care of you. And I canât do that when you argue with me and put me on the spot for wanting to help youâ he said, gently trying to make you see that he only wanted what was best for you.
Deep down, you knew you had been wrong, and right now in Landoâs arms, you realized just how much you had needed his warmth and his hug.
âIâm sorry for being stubbornâ your voice was small, but he still heard you.
âCome on, letâs get you to hospitality and find some medicine and a quiet place to rest for youâ he let go of you and opened the door to take your bags, taking your hand and leading you to the McLaren hospitality.
He manages to avoid the paparazzi on the way to the motorhome, keeping you close to his body.
Once you got to the motorhome, Jon was waiting for Lando there, his eyebrows instantly furrowing once he saw the state you were in.
âWhatâs wrong with her?â Jon asked Lando once he sat you down at a table and wrapped his jacket around your body.
Lando sighed, looking back at how you were practically sleeping on the chair before he turned around to talk to his trainer.
âSheâs been sick for the past few days and today she insisted on driving us to the track even when I told her sheâs too sick to drive. We just barely got here okay because she got worse on the roadâ he explained, his voice hushed as he kept stealing glances at his passed out girlfriend.
âHave you talked to her doctor or something?â Jon asked worriedly, caring for you just as much as Lando ever since the two of you were introduced.
Lando nodded. âI did, she said we should just wait for it to pass, that she should get plenty of rest and shouldnât do much, but you know how she isâ he explained further.
âYou have one stubborn girlfriend, mateâ Jon joked, bumping his shoulder in order to help the driver relax.
Lando chuckled, nodding knowingly.Â
Just as he was about to say something else, you whined as you started to wake up, trying to wrap the jacket even tighter around your body.
âLan?â your voice was small, your eyes slowly blinking open.
âIâm here, baby. Come on, letâs get you to a room where you can rest up. Jon will look after youâ he said while picking you up bridal style.
The three of you made your way upstairs to a free room, Lando immediately bundled you up in your blankets that he brought for you and helped you take your medicine.
Even in your current state, somewhere between reality and sleep, you realized just how much you needed to rest and how truly sick you were.
âThank you for taking care of me and sorry for insisting on driving todayâ you said when he finished fussing over you and leaned down to kiss your forehead.
Lando shook his head, brushing a strand of your hair from your eyes.
âDonât apologize, just get some rest and Iâll see you after practice, okay?â you nodded, settling into the tiny bed and allowing yourself to succumb to your sleep.
Lando left you in the room partly against his will, but with the reassurance that Jon would take care of you while he was in the car.
And, at the end of the day, he was always going to take care of you, no matter what.
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You save shit for arguments?? Get a life lmao who does that...
Basic sources still would take a while to read through unless you want a need abstract summary of all my points compiled into one.
I really find that hard to believe since, again, you think sources can just be read in five seconds as if they're half a page and you'd know. Sure I can skim, maybe find a few for you but really? Again? Online arguments don't educate, they just throw weight around and doing that regularly is... so crazy to me??
Anyway yeah, I don't really believe you. At the very least, it makes me wonder about bias in the university, which I guess isn't unheard of with the privatisation of them these days and if it's in certain places I know there is suppression of certain content but??
Look, I'm currently studying so sure I'll admit I'm not a PHD professor in everything we're talking about but the idea of "oh just show me the saved sources you have on this" is so crazy. I'm on my damn phone and just here to say maybe grouping all Jews as Zionists is bad, but hey since you and the person commenting agree on that point, what is there to correct? You both are polar ends of the "all Jews are Zionists" idea and agree. Congrats, you're both equally antisemetic.
dear jumblr: STOP LOOKING DOWN ON AND CONDESCENDING TO CONVERTS.
this includes saying âofc converts donât notice antisemitism.â or âtheyâre a convert, they donât know any better.â
i really donât think a lot of you realize how many converts donât reveal they are converts because of this kind of behavior. my own patrilineal convert parent refuses to publicly, not because they are excluded, but because of the condescension. the way converts are basically patted on the head even if they have ancestry, are patrilineal, were raised in a jewish environment, etc. or have none of these at all.
if converts are equals to you, treat them that way. most gerim learned more during their process than many of us learn in hebrew school, let alone what most secular âbornâ jews learn throughout their lives. so yes, converts DO spot antisemitism. they DO know things. and there isnât an excuse for them to be bigoted, to spread lies about our people, or to side with our enemies or to otherwise harm their community. just like there isnât an excuse for any other jew to do so.
you are not being open minded or accepting thinking and talking this way. you are actually engaging in exclusion and separation. youâre looking down on converts instead of treating them like they have equal standing.
if a convert doesnt know something or does display bad behavior? call them in instead of making excuses for them. treat them like equals, because that is what they are.
#congrats i guess#why are zionists so much like TERFs tho like this is fr giving me flashbacks of twitter before I left there#âuhh you're not actually a woman because a woman doesnt talk like that and even if you say you're a trans man i don't believe youâ#âwhat are your chromosones??â as if I'd know or care#âumm you can't be a real queer bevause you are attracted to trans women so you're actually just straightâ#how about y'all stop trying to investigate my idenity lmfao#âAre you sure you like womenâ your mum said I love women when we kissed last night does that help#âUmm but what ARE you thoughâ oh sure I'll just go ask my grandfather what he remembers from nazi occipied polland when he was four#And let me just get that blood test just for you since bloodties matter oh so much#âum since you don't know you're actually claiming jewishnessâ thats not how that works boo#âumm since you said fellow jewsâ i was talking about other jews and said what made grammatical sense I'm sorry I hate english too#but that's for another time#anyway have fun with land back meaning occupation which it never meant literally ever#use a different term and stop using ours <3#what i want to place in a volcano are people who misuse land back and approproate our movement for their own ends#like zionists#who again I don't see as freaking Jews because no you don't make up 80-90%#in israel maybe#but not here#Like if you want to denounce australian orthodox Jews who have endorsed the local pro Palestine movements in the area I live in go ahead#they don't want you either lol#and I'll tell my Jewish friend who was racially profiled by police when he protested against weapons manufacturing to Israel that he's#âless of a Jewâ or secretly part of some sect I'm pretty sure he hasn't heard of#speaking of it's also funny how you accused me of copying from said people then said I know nothing about them like#pick a struggle??#do I copy them or don't know them which is it??#Did i copy them accidentally by... agreeing with some points while disagreeing with others?#gasp! that surely isn't something that just happens all the time with people#people have ideas that overlap no shit#and that doesn't mean they completely agree or even know each other
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Conrad deserves better than Belly. After he sees Jere and her kiss, he get his ass to Stanford and meet this cute and smart maybe tutor girl (Haley James style) and falls in love with her and then they show up at Jere's wedding years later and Belly is jelly
I've spent the last five days working on this one.
p.s. it's 2k words...
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
â
When Conrad finished his exam, he went back to Jeremiah and Belly. He was going to tell and confess his love to her before she had to get home, but when he got to his car, the scene Conrad walked on made him sick to his stomach: Belly and Jeremiah were full on making out against his car. He stopped short of the car and cleared his throat, causing the two to spring apart from their heated kiss and see Conrad looking right at them.Â
Conradâs face was white. He would rather have had someone shoot him in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to watch the two of them kissing.
He didn't know who he was more angry at. Belly, who, not even a day ago, had told him she would have fought harder for him if she knew he loved her that much. Or Jeremiah, who, although he knew how much Belly meant to his brother and how fucking in love he was with her, seized the opportunity to kiss Belly the moment he was alone with her.
ââConradâââ Belly started, guilt settling in her guts.Â
He cut her off, his voice cold and cutting. ââI donât want to hear it.ââÂ
His gaze shifted from Belly to Jeremiah. There was so much hate in his eyes. How could Jere do that to him? They agreed to stop hiding things from each other and talk, but Jeremiah must have forgotten already.Â
ââYou broke up with her, Con, remember? We did nothing wrong,ââ Jeremiah said, pulling facts in his favor to make himself feel better â less guilty â for kissing his brotherâs ex. Â
When Conrad kissed Belly on the beach last summer, he didnât know she and Jeremiah were a thing â if he could call it that â or that he liked her. If he had, he wouldnât have kissed Belly or confessed his feelings to her. Had the situation had been in reverse, Conrad wasnât sure Jeremiah would have backed off.Â
ââIâm done.ââ Conrad's voice was resolute, his heart heavy as he turned away, unable to bear the sight of them any longer.
Jeremiah moved to follow, calling out Conrad's name. He didnât stop, needing to be as far as possible from the painful scene. His mind was racing with a jumble of emotions. Anger, betrayal, and a profound hurt gnawed at him. He had trusted both Belly and Jeremiah, yet they pulled this shit behind his back.Â
ââWhy do you always have to act like that?ââ Jeremiah said as he quickened his pace to catch up.Â
Finally, Conrad turned to face Jeremiah, his expression a mix of sorrow and resentment. ââYou donât get to tell me how to react, Jere. You kiss the girl I love outside my school, against my car while sheâs wearing my sweatshirt. If you donât see how disgusting and messed up it all soundsâââ
ââShe kissed me,ââ the younger one quickly defended.Â
 Hearing this made him want to pack his bags, get his ass to stanford and focus on school. He needed to turn the Belly page, and in order to do that, he needed to be away from both she and Jeremiah. California seemed far enough, right?
*
The first days and weeks were tough for Conrad, struggling to accept the definite end of the relationship. She was still all over him like a wine-stained shirt he couldnât wear anymore.Â
He blocked both Belly and Jeremiahâ numbers. If he wanted to move on, he had to keep his distance from them. For a while, at least. Then, he deleted all the old pictures he kept of Belly on his phone. There was no going back for them anymore.Â
He was done.
*
You met Conrad a little before Christmas break. Just like those clichĂ© rom-coms, you walked right into him and spilled your chai latte all over his sweater. You wanted to break the clichĂ© and not fall for the victim of your clumsiness, but after one look into those beautiful blue eyes, you knew it would be impossible.Â
 After that day, you kept crossing paths around campus and, one afternoon, you asked him out. He was so surprised, but he said âyesâ.Â
Although you had sealed the end of the night with a few kisses, you decided to take things slow. You had a very busy schedule with the tutoring lessons on top of your regular program, and Conrad was unsure if it was too soon to get in another relationship, if he was ready for it. The scar Belly had left on his heart was healing, but was he ready to open his heart to someone again?Â
ââHave you ever been in love?ââ you asked one night in his dorm while studying.Â
Your question had caught Conrad off guard. It was visible on his face.Â
ââHave you?ââ he returned, not taking his eyes off his textbook.Â
He was trying to dodge the question.Â
ââI asked you first,ââ you said, seeing through his plan.
ââThen yes.ââ
ââHow many times?ââ
ââOnce.ââ
His answers were flat, annoyed he was by all your questions. He wished you would stop and get back to studying in silence, but you kept going.Â
ââOn a scale of one to ten, how in love were you?ââ
ââYou canât put being in love on a scale,ââ he said, lifting his head with furrowed eyebrows. ââEither you are or you arenât.ââ
ââBut if you had to say.ââ
Conrad started flipping through his notes. He hadnât thought of Belly in months. He missed her â in a different way he used to. She was his friend before they got tangled into this mess.
He didnât look at you when he finally said it. ââTen.ââ
*
The more time he spent in your presence, the more Conrad was â unknowingly â letting go of his past.Â
The pictures he deleted months ago became pictures of you, filling his phone until there was no space left. The smell of your perfume lingered on some of his clothes and in his car. He had your coffee order memorized, along with your favorite study-break snack, which he made sure to have in stock in his dorm.Â
You became part of his routine â part of his life â, brightening his days even on his darkest, saddest nights.Â
He didnât want to bother you, but nothing was calming the ache in his chest. He tried getting some air and smoking weed, he even thought of calling Laurel, but it was almost 2am in Pennsylvania. Conrad didnât want to scare her.Â
So he pulled up your contact and called, the weight of his grief still heavy in his heart, wishing Susannah was still there. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since she took her last breath.Â
You were about to slip into bed when you saw his name flashing on your phone. You almost didnât pick up, but you got a gut feeling that he needed you.Â
When you opened your door, a saddened look was etched onto Conrad's face, his beautiful eyes glistening with unshed tears. The sight pulled at your heart and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him for the whole night.
Supported each other through finals and all-nighters.
ââGetting tired?ââ you said, catching him actively fighting against his own eyelids.Â
Conrad shook his head, taking a long gulp of his coffee. ââNo time for sleep. I have this huge exam first thing tomorrow and I still have a lot of chapters to cover.ââ
ââYou can take a short nap if you want. Iâll wake you in thirty minutes,ââ you kindly offered, flipping through your notes for a specific annotation.Â
ââNah, Iâm good.ââ He flashed you a soft smile, then returned to his studying.Â
A few minutes later, and you couldn't help but notice that Conrad's eyes had begun to droop. They would halfway close and then he would either blink a bunch of times, or widen his eyes until they were bug eyed. It was cute.
ââCon? Conrad?ââ you called out gently.Â
ââI'm not sleeping. I'm resting my eyes,ââ he mumbled defensively, fighting fatigue.
There was no way he was getting through the night, so you put your notes down and slipped on Conradâs flannel shirt that was on the back of your chair to shield you from the night air. ââWeâre gonna need more coffee.ââÂ
As you came back with two fresh cups of coffee, you found Conrad fast asleep on your pillow, still clutching his pen.
And held his hand through the rainiest times â literally.
ââIsn't California supposed to be the sunniest state?ââ Conrad asked, watching the downpour through the windshield, drenched from head to toe. ââThe seats are all wet...ââÂ
ââYou gotta learn to live with the consequences of your own actions, Connie baby.ââÂ
It was his idea to get waffles when the sky was looking very gray and angry. He insisted that it would clear out, but a loud clap of thunder echoed on your way back to the car and rain started pouring. You took the road back to campus, but it got too dangerous, forcing Conrad to stop the car on the shoulder of the road and wait for the rain to calm.Â
You wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoodie and a smile curled on Conradâs lips, still the most beautiful to his eyes despite your wet hair and the slight smear of mascara under your eyes.Â
 ââRain happens everywhere. Even in the dryest desert,ââ you reminded him, pulling out your phone to check the weather app.ââUnfortunately, this one isn't gonna stop anytime soon.ââ
You toed off your sneakers, making Conrad draw his eyebrows.
ââWhat are you doing?ââ
ââWeâre gonna be here for a while.ââ You peeled off your hoodie â also wet from the rain â, leaving you in your skirt and dainty bralette. ââMight as well occupy ourselves,ââ you explained before leaning over the middle console and kissing him, fastening yourself to him with a stitch.Â
The kiss took him by surprise, but he wasnât complaining. He could spend hours kissing you and never get bored.Â
You crawled over the console and on Conradâs lap without breaking contact, your hands easily finding grip on his hair as you felt his hands all over your body, caressing and pulling. The windows were fogging quickly around you, creating a veil of privacy as more layers were peeled off.
Conrad once believed he had found love, that Belly was it for him, but the feelings he felt back then were nothing compared to how he felt right now.Â
ââYouâre the best thing that happened to me,ââ he confessed, his forehead pressed against yours.Â
*
The invitation came in a few weeks before the wedding. Conrad couldnât believe his brother was going through with this. Everything was happening so fast and seemed rushed. Him and Belly werenât even twenty. Who gets married so young anymore?Â
He arrived in Cousins a few days prior to the wedding, surprising everyone â and stealing the attention from the soon-to-be-weds â when they saw a girl with him.Â
The only person who knew exactly who you were was Steven. A few months ago, you had posted a picture with Conrad at the beach and tagged him, leading to Steven finding out about his friendâs new girlfriend. He was surprised when he saw it, but very happy for Conrad. He deserved better than someone who plays between two hearts.Â
Laurel put down the table-center she was holding and went over to pull Conrad in a hug. She turned to you, making quick introductions, and Conrad held his breath. Heâs always been close to Laurel and her approval meant more to him than his fatherâs or Jeremiahâs.Â
While the two of you engaged into a conversation, he saw her. Belly. Dressed in a white sundress and talking to Taylor, she looked just the same. The only difference was, Conrad felt nothing. No pain, no old feelings rising back.Â
For the first time, whatâs past was past.
ââBelly, come greet Connie and his girlfriend,ââ Laurel called out to her daughter.Â
Although you had never met her, you could tell exactly who she was in the room â and not only because her dress was white. The jealousy filling her eyes when they fell on you gave her away.
â
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