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#like i said don't try sending me anon asks hating on me for this
ceo-mochee · 2 days
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Right I'm gonna say it cus I've seen and heard enough.
If you ship something toxic, Do NOT complain when people hate it.
(NOTE : Do NOT send me hate asks/comments if you choose to read this, cus I really do not gaf if you hate me for this. It's just my opinion and I wanted to get it off my chest.)
If the ship your shipping is a healthy pairing and people are hating you for it, then sure you have a reason to be upset. However if you're shipping something like Romesse, Aidesse or I don't know...... AXDEN.... (which are pretty toxic ships in general (my opinion)) then yeah people have a right to hate the ship.
I will agree on some part that attacking people is not a good thing, and this goes to both sides. People who don't like your ships shouldn't have to force you to change that, but at the same time if people hate on the SHIP itself (and are NOT namedropping people), then why should you be so worried? I literally watched one of my moots get attacked by someone because they wrote about not liking Axden.
Hell I'm even gonna take a quick minute to slander this ship now. Why? Cus it's pretty toxic- Aiden bullied Axel and tried killing his friends, do you reaaaaally think Axel would be friends with someone like Aiden, let alone get in a romantic relationship with him?? Yeah I don't think so either.
Here's the thing tho, this is just MY OPINION. If you disagree, COOL! But making a huge fuss about it and attacking others who disagree is only fueling that belief that "its not the ship itself, it's the shippers that are the problem." Getting pissy cus you CHOOSE to read someone's opinions and decide that because you disagree, and believing that you should go send anonymous asks attacking said person is also just making yourself look real pathetic.
I'm sorry, but if you're gonna get sensitive over a fictional pairing getting hate, then I don't know what to tell ya. s
I, of course, may or may not be the one to talk. I've shipped Axel and Lukas together for a long while and I may or may not have been hurt by some people's opinions myself, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go off with my pitchfork and torch and bombard someone with hate asks/comments, you know how much easier life is when ya just silently disagree with one's opinions and move on? It's amazing lemme tell ya.
So far I've only seen this happening with the ship Axden (Axel x Aiden), which is pretty damn bonkers if you ask me. Why can't y'all just accept the fact that no matter how much you preach, self project onto characters, or fuss about your own opinions, not every single person is gonna agree with you. My ass already got turned into a damn PTSD trigger to one person (who I'm of course choosing NOT to namedrop) cus I disliked that ship.
"I know Aiden bullied Axel but... but I made it to where he redeemed himself!!!"
Okay??? Still doesn't change the fact that you're getting upset that people are understandably uncomfortable with that ship mate... do you understand how happier we would all be if you'd just BLOCK people who disagree instead of burning an innocent user at the stake because they dislike a toxic ship.
Like seriously if you're gonna get upset and attack someone for not liking a (pretty toxic) ship that you like and not just like- Idk- BLOCK them... then you're probably already a lost cause my friend.
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angeltism · 7 months
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you know if crush anons are actually interested they will just come back when they feel like it and you dont have to make all of your posts about romance.
I was about to go to bed but I can take a sec .
Yes ?? I'm very aware of this ??? But I enjoy talking about romance , even outside of trying to fish for compliments (which I'll admit I do, but nawt all the time) . Fantasizing about having a relationship brings me comfort and that's something I can't help , and is literally harmless .
I am very aware I can't like,, force others to wanna date me via posting about how baaaadly I want a partner or whatever . And that isn't what I'm trying to do . It'll happen when it happens , but for now I just find it calming in a way to post about what could be in the future . So . Yeahh idk thanks for telling me stuff I already know anon ?? What kind of reply were you expecting here
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applejarjar · 2 years
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If my stuff is that bad that you can't even reblog it, don't bother adding likes to my posts either then. Just leave me alone.
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trashywormeateroffics · 9 months
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the great war (bucky barnes x female reader)
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the gif is not mine!
summary: you get jealous and have a fight with bucky. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.
a/n: hey anon!!! sorry it took so long. i have no excuse. anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!! <333 also i am once again asking u to send me requests with marvel characters (natasha/bucky/loki) and taylor swift songs so i can write a one shot about it !!!! bye love u
masterlist
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you don't know how it all happened. one second, everything was perfect. the next, you were acting like a crazy person and saying horrible and hurtful things. and now you're pretty sure you've officially lost him forever.
\\\\
it all started with her. agent carpenter. pretty, blue eyed blonde, flirty, perfect agent carpenter.
“alright everyone,” tony begins and the people in the meeting fall into silence. “as you all know, a new member is joining us on the avengers initiative.” they all nod, including you. “her name is samara carpenter and she was personally recruited by fury. which means she's very good at what she does.” the billionaire looks at steve and he nods, taking the lead.
“alright, i want you all to be nice and welcoming. especially you buck.” he says, making most of the people there snort. you look at him.
“what did i do now?” bucky asks, incredulous.
“nothing yet, but if you just stare at her and don't greet her like a normal person she'll leave this team as fast as she came.” sam tells him. the grumpy super soldier rolls his eyes.
“whatever, bird-brain.”
steve shakes his head in disapproval of the two bickering idiots but soon enough he's back on track with the presentation.
bucky's rough gaze scans the room until it falls on you. his eyes soften when he sees that you are already looking at him. you give him a soft and playful smile, which he returns.
after the meeting is done and everyone is dismissed, you head to your room.
not five seconds pass until someone knocks on the door. you smile, because you know who it is.
“come in!” you sing-song.
when he enters, you can't help but stare at him. you've been together for a year now but you still couldn't believe that he was yours. he was so beautiful, so funny, so kind, so dumb sometimes, just so… him. you loved him so much. yet you still hadn't said it. you were trying to take things slow, for both of your sakes.
“hey.” you tell him as he closes the door behind him. he has a look on his face which you recognize. something's bothering him.
“c'mere.” you pat the spot next to you on the bed.
he wastes no time in dropping himself unceremoniously on the mattress and letting out a sigh.
you begin to run your hands through his hair.
“d'you think i'm scary?” he asks with a pout adorning his beautiful pink lips. god, you want to kiss him so badly. so that's what you do. you peck his lips and then immediately shake your head with a smile.
“do you think that adorable pout could be scary?” he purses his lips to stop himself from smiling, but still, a small smile plays on his lips.
“y/n, i'm being serious.” he sighs. you do too.
“maybe to some people you could be. not to me though.”
“but when you first met me-”
“i was too busy thinking about how hot you were to worry about you being scary.” he laughs. god, how you love that sound. you would ridicule yourself to hear it. “is this about what steve and sam said?”
he shrugs.
“i just… hate that i'm so socially inadequate.”
you hand in his hair stops. he furrows his brows.
“bucky,” you begin, “we are a bunch of weirdos, all of us. there is not one person on this team who is socially adequate.”
“but at least the others can fake it, you can fake it.”
“you know what my favorite thing about you was when we first started to become friends?” you ask and he shakes his head. “that your face said it all. if you weren't in the mood for something, i could tell from a mile away, and in return, if something excited you, it would be contagious.” you caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “and when i couldn't pretend, i always knew you were there to just sit in silence with me. no expectations to be socially acceptable.”
“i don't know how you do it.” he sighs. you frown.
“do what?”
“make every bad thing about me sound so… good.”
your frown deepens.
“hey.” you straddle him and grab his face in between both your hands. “you are perfect. just like you are. don't you dare change yourself.” you tell him firmly. then you purse your lips. “unless you totally want to for whatever reason and i would totally support you because-” you suddenly fall silent. he looks at you, expectant for you to finish your sentence. “because you know i'm here for you, no matter what.”
he smiles softly.
“i know, doll. me too, i'm always here for you no matter what.” you purse your lips to stop yourself from spilling your heart out of your mouth as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb.
“how about we watch a movie? you can pick.”
he pecks your lips and nods.
you spend what is left of the day watching movies and cuddling.
\\\\
two days after that meeting, she arrives. you're all hanging around the common kitchen when steve appears with someone trailing behind him.
“everyone, this is agent carpenter.”
“please, call me samara. or sammie even.”
“sammie, nice to meet you.” sam is the first one to greet her. “i'm sam wilson, but the coolest avenger is fine too.”
you shake your head and roll your eyes. then, you take a step forward, but before you can introduce yourself and welcome her to the team, you see her eyes flicking over to something right next to you. or someone. her eyes shine with curiosity and attraction.
“hi, nice to meet you.” she smirks. you swallow slowly.
bucky gives her a nod, but then he seems to remember what steve and sam told him and attempts to give her a smile.
“hi, i'm bucky.”
“bucky,” she repeats slowly, almost tasting the name in her mouth. she's about to say something else but before she can, you speak up.
“i'm y/n. welcome to the team.” you smile as honestly as you possibly can, but dread fills your stomach.
“hi!” she smiles at you. “you're so pretty, oh my god!”
you give her a tight smile.
“thank you.”
“of course!”
the rest of the team introduces themselves, even though she insists she already knows almost all of them and then you all go about your day.
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it had been a month since she arrived at the compound. you had seen her a few times, mostly during training. but you didn’t particularly go out of your way to talk to her. there was something you didn’t like. maybe it was your intuition, or maybe it was the fact that she did seem to go out of her way to talk to your boyfriend. and he did not seem upset by that, the opposite actually. he seemed to enjoy it.
you were not a jealous person, least of all with bucky. but something about her irked you. something about her made you doubt yourself and everything you believed in.
“i like her,” natasha says while she paints her nails, laying on her stomach on your bed.
wanda hums in agreement while she flips through the pages of a beauty magazine. you don’t say anything.
“what about you, y/n?”
“um, yeah.” you try to give them a convincing smile but based on the looks they give you, you do not succeed.
“okay, spill the tea.” wanda tells you. had she been learning internet lingo?
you sigh.
“i just- i don’t know.” you shake your head. “doesn’t something feel off to you?”
“not really.” wanda says as natasha narrows her eyes.
“you’re jealous.” she finally decrees.
“i’m not.” you respond defensively.
“you’re jealous that she seems to be getting along with barnes.”
“i-“ you begin your sentence with the intention of uttering a lie, but it dies right on your tongue. “i am. but i don’t want to be.” you confess.
“explain yourself.” she tells you in a tone that could sound commanding and harsh to someone else, but you know it’s filled with care. she’s your best friend, she would never hurt you on purpose. so is wanda, who looks at you with a knowing look you can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for.
“i just- i don’t know. he’s never like that with anyone. since when is he the type to joke around with someone?” you shake your head. “i’m an asshole, cause i should be happy for him. he’s putting himself out there. but i can’t. i’m jealous. so cliche.” you huff.
“you’re not an asshole. an asshole would make a whole scene, give him an ultimatum or something like that. you’re just expressing your feelings to your friends.”
“and, y/n, we all have those ugly feelings. they are human.” wanda tells you, softly. “you should talk to him about it.”
“what if he gets mad?”
“y/n, please. that man adores you, he could never get mad at you. least of all for this.”
maybe they’re right. maybe that’s the healthiest thing to do. and even as you agree with them, you know you will not talk to him about this. because he will realize that you’re right, and that there is so much more to the world than just… you.
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“come on! you just have to put it in the oven!”
you hear her before you see her. you weren’t expecting to see him though.
right there, almost as if mocking you, they stand. cooking together. he looks so comfortable around her.
they seem to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, so you clear your throat. immediately, they turn to look at you. he widens his eyes, almost looking guilty.
“james found me and i asked him to join me.” she explains, but you stop paying attention the moment she says his name. she called him james.
“james?” you narrow your eyes in question.
he seems to want to say something because he opens his mouth like a fish out of water but you leave mumbling an excuse about training with nat before he can utter a word.
back in your room, you fall to the floor and break down. you knew she was trouble the moment she walked in, but you weren’t expecting this to happen so soon.
heartbroken, you get up from where you’re sitting and head to your bathroom.
the girl in the mirror looks defeated, but you feel angry. if he didn't need you anymore, then you didn’t need him either.
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the days after that, you ignore him, always having an excuse at the tip of your tongue to not hang out with him. he doesn’t seem to care that much. until, you suppose, after three days, he begins caring.
“doll, can we talk?”
“hm?” you play dumb. you encountered each other in the common kitchen. that damned place, you hated it now, but you were hungry.
“i asked you if we can talk. you seem… distant.” his brows are furrowed. you only know that because you turned to look at him only for a second. other than that, your gaze doesn’t meet his. “come on, y/n, i know something’s wrong.”
you look at him and smile sarcastically.
“you do?”
“yes. please, let’s ta-“
“hey guys!” you roll your eyes at her voice.
“have fun you two!” you tell them, smiling venomously, only looking at him before you leave.
“is everything okay?” she asks.
“i’m sorry samara, i can’t talk right now.” you hear him say before you hear his footsteps getting closer to you in the hallway.
“y/n!” he calls out to you when you get into the elevator without looking behind you. before the doors can close, you see his metal arm get in between them. he gets in and they close. once they do, he hits the stop button. then, he turns to you. he frows when he sees the hate in your eyes. “y/n, what is going on?”
you scoff.
“fuck off, james.” you tell him, your voice full of venom. he widens his eyes in surprise before narrowing them.
“oh, so that’s it? you’re jealous and that’s why you’re avoiding me and acting crazy now?”
“i’m not jealous, but i’m not blind either.” you clench your jaw. “and don’t call me crazy.”
“you are blind if you think something’s going on with her.” he tells you. you roll your eyes and then tilt your head.
“when was the last time you let someone call you james? when was the last time you cooked with someone who was not steve?” he begins breathing heavily. you laugh and bite your lip incredulously. “i think you took the whole being friendly thing too serious.”
“i can't believe you right now.” he shakes his head. “you're angry because i'm not being an asshole to her?”
you scoff.
“oh, please, james.” he clenches his jaw.
“stop calling me that.”
“oh, so i can't call you that but she can?”
“you know that's not-”
“you know what? go ahead. let her call you james. fuck her in the middle of the common room for all i care. lets see how long she puts up with you.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but its too late, a deep hurt covers his face. still, you can't stop. you're too hurt, too scared. too goddamn stupid. “you think she's going to console you while you have your nightmares?” you laugh venomously. “you think she's going to accept you, all of you?” as you keep talking, his expression turns from pained to angry. resentful even.
he turns to the panel control of the elevator and pushes the stop button so the elevator will move again.
“you know what?” he glances at you and you're almost taken aback by the distant look in his eyes. “maybe i'll fuck her. maybe i'll even date her too. she's probably not as desperate and clingy as you.”
“fuck you.” you spit out.
the doors open, he steps outside. before he leaves, he turns to look at you.
“yeah, you too.”
after the doors close again, you fall to the floor and let out a heart-wrenching sob. you never thought it would end like this.
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four days. four fucking, horrible, long days bucky has been gone from the compound. you try to ask steve about it, because you know he knows where he is, but he won't tell you. even though you two are close friends and he never got in the middle of a fight between you two– even though you two never fought– he seemed angry. at you. you didn't know if he knew the reason for the fight, but he knew you were in the wrong, that much you knew.
these days all you do is cry, sleep, eat and repeat. you're way past heartbroken, you're miserable, inconsolable. it's all your fault. this prison of sadness was your own making.
you miss him. god, you miss him. you wonder how he is. did he already fuck someone else? did he regret ever being with you?
you don't dare text or call him. you're too embarrassed. you acted like a crazy person, and said awful, horrific things. and you're pretty sure he'll never forgive you. but what will you do then? how will you build a life without him? oh god, you're crying again. great, just great, you think as you turn around in your bed. who were you without him?
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its the sixth day of his absence when you go talk to steve. you drag yourself from your bed, with your swollen and red rimmed eyes and knock on his door.
“y/n…” he tells you, pity dripping from his tone.
“hey…” you try to give him a fake smile, but as soon as the corners of your mouth move, they turn downwards into a frown, and you start crying. sobbing really. inconsolable sobs leave you as steve wraps you up in his arms.
“hey, hey, it's okay.”
“no, it's not! i hurt him! i don't know why i did it, but i did!” you sob.
“hey,” he pulls away from you a bit to look you in the eyes, “come in. come on, come on.” he tells you as you slowly make your way inside.
you sit down on the edge of his bed and he sits down next to you.
“steve, is he- is he okay?”
he looks at you. you know him, so you know that that look means he isn't.
“he's safe though.”
“i really messed up.”
“i know.”
“he told you?”
“he didn't need to. i saw it on camera. wanted to know why the elevator stopped working for a while.”
you put your head in your hands and begin sobbing again.
“oh my god.” you sob. “i-i'm so sorry you had to see that. i dont… i dont know what-” a hiccup escapes you. “i can't-” another hiccup. “oh god…” your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands.
“hey…” he draws comforting circles on your back, but nothing can comfort you. not when he's hurt and hates you and it's all your fault. “hey.”
“steve, how can i fix it? can i even-” hiccup, “can i even fix it?”
he looks at you with pity.
“i don't know, y/n. i think he's gonna need some time.”
“oh my god.” you say. steve had always rooted for you two, so if he's saying it can't be fixed it really means it can't. “i'm going to die.”
“you're not going to die.”
“i can't live without him. i can't.” you shake your head frantically. “please, just tell me where he is. i need to-”
“i dont think it's a good idea.” he tells you sympathetically.
“please,” you beg him, “please, i need to- if it ends…” more tears fall from your eyes. “it can't end like that. please. he deserves more than that.”
he looks at you, seemingly pondering what you're saying. you look at him the whole time, pleading. he sighs. he's going to tell you.
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you look at the old building that seems to be deteriorating with each passing second. you straighten down your clothes (steve insisted you get properly showered and dressed) and take a deep breath. he's staying at a safe house in brooklyn. of course. it was so predictable and so him, you almost decided to leave. maybe you should let it end how it ended. what if this time it was worse? but you didn't have the luxury to think like that. it was over, but you needed him to remember you as the good times you shared, not that damned last time.
you enter the building and go up the stairs to the seventh floor, since there is no elevator.
when you reach his door, a green one who looked like if you blew on it it would fall down, you freeze. what are you even supposed to say to him? hi, bucky, sorry i told you she wouldn't be able to put up with you, insinuating that you are hard to love, hope everythings okay between us! ugh, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole.
you take another deep, slow breath, because you know otherwise he'll be able to hear you. then, you knock two times.
when the door opens he takes your breath away. this time not because he's gorgeous but because you're so scared that you fear you're going to pass out.
“what do you want?” he asks harshly. you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them away.
“hear me out, please.”
“no, thank you.” he goes to close the door, but you swiftly get inside before he does. he slams the door behind him when he turns around to look at you, now inside the apartment, looking uncomfortable and out of place. “i told you i didn't want to hear you out.”
“just-”
“leave.”
“one second-”
“leave, y/n.”
“bucky-”
“oh, so now i'm bucky?” your lip wobbles.
“you're always bucky.”
“not last time we talked.”
“that's why i'm here.” he lifts his chin, looking at you with so much indifference you wonder if he ever looked at you with love in his eyes.
“i don't care to hear you explain yourself.” a tear escapes your eye. you dry it with your sleeve harshly. his face seems to soften for a second but then it goes back to its harshness.
“i'm not here- i'm not here to explain myself.” he looks at you.
“why are you here then?” you sigh.
“remember that time you took me to feed the ducks on that park?”
“yes. so?”
you smile softly as tears fall down your face.
“that was the time i told you i wanted to be your girlfriend. no one ever took me to such a silly date.” you chuckle softly. then you frown in pain looking at the floor now. he shifts his weight from one feet to the other, impatient.
“what's your point?”
“that's how i'd like you to remember me.”
“what?” you look at him. he's frowning.
“i know that the last time we talked i was… crazy. i just- i know theres no going back, but id like, for the sake of what we had, for you to not remember me like that.” you tell him. “because we were more than that.” the last word comes out broken to give way to a silent sob. you try to compose yourself. “I'm sorry. don't pay attention to that.” you give him a fake smile, which you know he can see right through.
“y/n-”
“okay, i'll leave. but… come back to the compound. i'll move out if you want me to, just, don't stay away from your friends just because of me.” you go to leave, walking past him, when he grabs your arm. when you turn around there are unshed tears in his eyes.
“i don't care about the compound. or about remembering you.” oh. you widen your eyes and heavy tears leave them.
“okay, i'm- i'm sorry for suggesting-”
“no.” you nod, understanding. “no, no.” he repeats. he grabs you by the shoulders and he crouches so he's eye level with you. “i don't want to have to remember you.”
you frown.
“but, bucky-”
“but i probably should.” he cuts you off.
“yeah,” you laugh humorlessly as you cry. “you should. i'm sorry. i never should've come here. i'm sorry.”
“stop saying sorry and explain to me what the hell happened.” you tilt your head.
“i… i got jealous.”
“that's it? that's why you hurt me?” he asks. you look down. this was it. he was giving you a chance. explain yourself like you never have before, you think to yourself.
“i never got why you were with me-”
“stop saying were. this could end today, but as of now, were still together.” you purse your lips. “hey, hey, its okay.” he says softly as he puts his hands on your cheeks and wipes the tears that begin falling again with his thumbs.
“im sorry-” he looks at you pointedly. you nod. “i just… i don't understand why you're with me. im not- im nothing like you.” you begin. he frowns. “you are kind and thoughtful and amazing and im- im not good like you.”
“what? y/n, you're the best person i know.”
“you can't still think that.” he looks at you honestly. he does? “see? you're so- and i'm so…”
“lets sit down.” he tells you and you both do, on the old couch thats near the window. he gestures for you to continue.
“i just- you'll never get it. and thank god you won't. but im not- im not a natural, you know? not like you, not like her.” you fidget with your hands. “you guys, the team, you like me because i'm fake. you wouldn't if you knew the real me. but i showed it to you pretty easily, i guess.” you laugh without a trace of humor. he frowns. then, he grabs your hand and caresses your knuckles. bucky takes a deep breath before speaking.
“y/n, i like- no, scratch that. i love you because i know you.” your face contorts in pain. you start crying heavily again. “hey, hey, come on baby, talk to me.”
“i just… she's so… perfect. for everyone, for you.”
“i don't want her, i want you.”
“you cant want me after what i said to you. i hurt you and i'll never forgive myself for that.”
“yes, you hurt me. but you were hurt too, i just didn't see it.”
“im so scared you'll wake up one day and realize there is so much more to the world than… me.” you sob and cover your face with your hands.
bucky pulls your hands away from you face and pulls you into his lap.
“listen to me.” he tells you firmly. “there is nothing more to the world than you. you are it for me, y/n. i love you.”
“bucky-” you hiccup. “i'm so sorry i said that about you. i promise you i just said it to you because i- i was lashing out. anyone would accept and love you, you are literally the most amazing-” hiccup, “person-” hiccup, “in the universe.”
he smiles softly at you and the unshed tears come back, but this time, he lets them fall.
“baby, listen to me. i love you. i'm not going anywhere.” you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “and i forgive you. i promise you i don't resent you. i know what it's like to lash out when you're hurt.”
“bucky-” you sob against his chest.
“shh, baby, its okay.” he soothes you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “it's okay, i got you.”
you take a shuddering breath and lift your head from his chest to look at him. you grab his face with both your hands.
“i promise you i'll never lash out again. im so sorry. i-” he gives you a pointed look. “i know. im not saying sorry anymore. sor-” you purse you lips and he lets out a laugh. then, he shakes his head incredulous and looks at you with so much adoration in his eyes you feel like you're going to pass out from all the love you feel for this man. “can i kiss you?” you ask him shyly.
“please.”
and so you do. the kiss is soft, vulnerable, you're telling him how sorry you are, how much you love him, and thats when you remember you didn't say it.
he whines when you pull away, something that makes you smile.
“bucky,”
“yeah, baby?”
“i love you. so much i feel like i'm going to throw up.” he lets out a loud laugh.
“i love you more, doll.”
you spend the rest of the day cuddled up on that couch in that old apartment, not ready to go to the compound yet. but you do send a text to steve before turning off your phone to spend time with the love of your life. you almost lost him, but you didn't, and as you lay in that old mattress on the floor, while he makes love to you and whispers of words of adoration and devotion fill your ears, you vow to him one thing. you'll always be his.
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calware · 2 months
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thoughts incoming. something i think a lot of people online don't realize (and something i wish i could've told myself when i was younger) is that trying to enact punishment on someone you dislike who did or said something wrong for the sake of punishment rarely has a positive effect. especially when it involves attempting to publicly shame/humiliate them, such as writing a callout post with the attempt to get everyone "on your side" and to dislike that person as well. this is because, in many cases, these pursuits result in just making the target angry or upset, which at best just makes them upset and at worse reinforces their ideas. if there's someone online you disagree with and you want to try making a real change, you have to ask yourself if what you're doing is actually going to realistically lead to that outcome or if you're just lashing out in anger
i'm not perfect at this either, in fact i've been on both sides in this situation. i know how it feels to be hurt by someone when you didn't deserve it, so you want that person to hurt too, you want other people to dislike them as much as you do. i really, really get it. i also know what it's like to be cyberbullied online, back when i was a very vocal hater who had a lot of annoyingly bad takes about homestuck and said a lot of things that were at best stupid and at worse parasocial. this, understandably, annoyed a bunch of people, but then some of them decided i should get sent anon hate about it daily. all this did was a) make me feel bad and b) reinforced the idea that i wasn't doing anything wrong, because the people who disagreed with me were also sending me anon hate, so clearly they were in the wrong
i think there are moments where "calling someone out" is helpful, like if someone is running a scam, or if someone is using their platform to groom minors. this is because calling that person out actually helps to prevent them from hurting more people. however, most of the callout posts i've seen on here don't result in any positive effect and usually boil down to "PSA I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW TUMBLRGUY634 WAS MEAN TO ME!!!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!", causing a bunch of outrage within that person's circle before fizzling out a while later with no real impact
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anamericangirl · 2 months
Note
What's telling to me about how sick people can be is that Trump was nearly killed, someone in the crowd WAS killed, multiple other shots went out, the whole thing was a terrifying event that everyone in the world should be able to agree was scary And yet I see the media on the left trying to spin this "Well this is to be expected, he's so radical and so fascist that of course someone tried to kill him" and "#YOUMISSED" is trending on Twitter Mask is fucking off and I'm done hitting Anon when I send asks to you, these people have truly shown they have no empathy, no sympathy, and are bloodthirsty. People get shot up in a school and their first thought is "This is why we need to ban guns" and "This is because of ultra-MAGA"
Some unhinged motherfucker actually attempts to kill the former president and kills someone in the crowd and the left turns it into a fucking hashtag and an opportunity to try to blame it on Trump even though he's the one that got shot at.
The left are fucking deranged, and I know better than most because I used to be ON the left. I shaved half my head, I had blue hair, I lived with liberal pedophiles (literally) in Ohio for 2 years who wore diapers around the house and bitched about Elon Musk and Trump every fucking day. I know these people are psychopaths and now they have finally just outright announced to the world how sick they are.
Even fucking Biden tried to call the hospital Trump was at to ask if he was okay, EVEN DARTH FUCKING BRANDON CARED ABOUT TRUMP and yet these Twitterlibs and liberal media fuckwads are just jumping on the opportunity to go "Aww man #YouMissed, you fired 5 shots how come you couldn't get him, you fucked up, omg"
For fuck sake hate the man all you want but SOMEONE TRIED TO KILL HIM AND AN INNOCENT PERSON'S BRAIN GOT REMOVED FROM THEIR HEAD, FOR FUCK SAKE HAVE AT LEAST A MODICUM OF SYMPATHY FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU FUCKING SAVAGES.
If this doesn't turn people away from the democrat party then nothing will. Trump was not the only victim of this shooting. A couple of people were injured, an innocent person was killed and still the only thing we hear from leftists is annoyance that the shooter missed.
And while we are rightly angry at the spins the msm is putting on this assassination attempt, they have to put that spin on it or eat their words for the last 8 years. They've been characterizing Trump as a fascist tyrannical dictator since 2016. They've spun him to be Hitler 2.0 telling everyone he's a threat to democracy and leading people to believe he's a threat to their very lives. The "trans genocide" and "kids in cages" the "don't say gay" bill all that nonsense is always, always linked back to Trump and if they turn around now and condemn this attempt on his life what would that say about them? Either they will have to expose themselves as the liars and propagandists they are or they will have to be seen as being sympathetic towards literally Hitler. And narrative is more important to them than anything.
Which explains why they were trying to avoid reporting what happened like the plague. The headlines I saw in the aftermath, after we already knew Trump had actually been hit by the bullet were things like "Trump escorted offstage after gun shots were heard." "Loud popping noise heard at Trump rally." And other variations of that headline. And still leftists don't question why after Trump was shot every single mainstream media outlet had the same headline and they all avoided saying Trump had been shot or an assassination attempt had been made.
They can’t come out and say this was wrong because it will mean they will have to admit to something even worse: that they were wrong.
But of course the people currently in office can't come out and condone the shooting. That would look very bad. So yeah, it's good that Biden stood up there and said the right words and made an effort to contact Trump but how convenient that this happened a mere couple of weeks after the democratic party has abandoned and turned on Biden so his words and condemnation will be buried and ignored and mean nothing.
For the last 8 years, though, Joe Biden and every other democrat in office, paired with the media, have been villainizing Trump for his rhetoric. Everything bad thing that happened was directly the fault of Trump because of his "dangerous rhetoric." But the rhetoric they've employed against Trump and all conservatives since that time has been the worst fearmongering and slander I've ever seen so they are directly to blame for this shooting because of their rhetoric. No more "rules for thee but not for me." They have to live in the world they made.
Leftism, as I'm sure you've seen first hand what with your experience of being one and living in that environment, is no longer about what you support, it's just about who you hate. And every sane person still aligned with them is waking up. The mask has been slipping for years and most of us were able to see who they really were way before it fully fell off but there is no mask now. They're not even trying to hide it.
They have the ideas they pretend to support when told to, but all leftists are only united by one thing: hate.
Their heroes are criminals like Michael Brown, George Floyd and Trayvon Martin. And they hate police until they shoot and kill Ashli Babbitt who's only crime was being a Trump supporter at the capitol on January 6.
They still bemoan the killing of a pedophile, wife beater and injury of a career criminal who were shot because they tried to murder a child while villainizing the child they tried to kill because he successfully defended himself against their attack.
To this day they spin their violent riots as "mostly peaceful protests" while the January 6 protest was a "violent insurrection."
The rapes and murder on October 7 were a justified response to "occupation" but anything Israel does is "genocide."
During covid they freaked out about "public health" and wanted everyone vaxxed and masked to "save lives" but when Trump got covid they all immediately wanted it to kill him.
When a white boy shoots up a school it’s an example of how evil white people and right wing gun nuts are but when a trans person shot children at a Christian elementary school the main focus of leftists, all the way up to the White House, was the danger the trans community would allegedly be in from right wing retaliatory violence and how “hateful Christian rhetoric” was responsible for the shooting.
And none of this has anything to do with the values they claim to adhere to. All of their positions on every single issue come down to who it is they hate the most of the people involved. So their "values” change by the second.
So the violence, depravity and dangerous rhetoric is pretty much 100% on their side but watch them try and spin this assassination on Trump as Trump's own fault. And watch leftists just unquestioningly go with it or just try to distract people with more fear mongering about Project 2025 or something else stupid like that.
The only thing that bothers them about this shooting, other than the fact that the shooter "missed', is that this has pretty much guaranteed Trump is going to win the election. And of course they can't stand that after all they've done to try and make sure that doesn't happen.
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cod-z · 6 months
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[NSFW 18+] Pegging Series (Anon Reveal)
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Your media consumption isn't my responsibility | TW: NSFW 18+, Title itself explanatory
Pairing(s): John 'Soap' MacTavish x Stoic!Reader
| One-shots | A/N: My anon reveal and brain-rot. For those who knows said story, yes, I am THAT anon from said blog
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Johnny has a thing for Stoic!Reader because of the mystery behind them, always keeping a poker face even in dire situation and the strong, powerful aura that reader has but it's also reassuring. A mix between Price and Ghost the stern yet comforting from Gaz.
Johnny knocking on stoic!reader's door because Price had asked him to get the paperworks that were needed but ends up just stammering towards reader because the way reader speaks is so emotionless and stern, it sends him into a horny frenzy-
Finally telling stoic!reader what Price wanted, reader dismisses him but he doesn't leave and just stands there like a sweet, lost puppy and who is totally not horny or anything because reader is only in a black tank top and their cargo pants while reader does paperwork.
Stoic!Reader casually staring at Johnny because he hasn't left and asks if there is anything else.
Johnny stutters as he tries to explain that Price, Ghost and Gaz were getting ready for a mission, clenching onto the documents, trying to ask a certain question because poor pup was going to be alone for quite awhile but ends up silencing himself and leaving. 'Cause why would reader do that for him if reader was aroace? (again, sue me).
Not even 2 weeks in when the other three were gone. Johnny pathetically asks Stoic!Reader if they could fuck him.
Stoic!reader who wanted to say 'no' till they saw the twitching outline of Johnny's bulge and felt a twinge of pity for Johnny boy and sighs.
Stoic!reader who says 'yes' but only on one condition which makes Johnny happy, though the next day Johnny was now on his hands and knees with stoic!reader prepping his rim to take in the strap-on they bought online together (Johnny totally didn't get the overnight shipping).
Johnny is already a squirming mess as he came twice already from being prepped by reader. Reader obviously not done with Johnny, had already put the big, girthy, bumpy strap-on, on already and grabs him roughly by his mohawk. Rubbing the plastic-rubber against his weeping cock gathering the cum and proceeds to rub coated strap-on onto his ass, slicking it up before pushing it to the hilt.
Pathetic whining moans leaves Johnny's lips as he's drilled onto Stoic!Reader's bed like reader hates him, shocking Johnny at the full force that comes from reader's frame, he never would've guessed reader would have it in them to be this way. Letting him orgasm in this position twice before doing it once missionary.
Johnny already an overstimulated little pup on stoic!reader's bed, crying from too much pleasure and was ready to give out, to fucked out to even help reader orgasm. But don't worry, reader already had a plan for that.
Stoic!Reader pushing Johnny's legs up, stroking the tip of his cock before guiding it into reader's hole making poor Johnny weep from overstimulation, pain and pleasure. Knees behind Johnny's ass while holding his legs up as reader fucks down onto him, closing in on their own orgasm and Johnny building up his, what? 5th? 7th orgasm? He doesn't know.
Neither of the two hearing the sound of multiple boots hitting the floor nearing reader's barracks. The door opening as both Johnny and Reader orgasms at the same time.
Johnny looks weakly at the other three with a smile, who stared at Stoic!Reader in shock, Reader's expression remains stoice but as their eyes trailing down the three men's body already seeing their growing bulge, stoic!reader gives a small smirk and removes themselves from Johnny (who totally didn't pass out).
Well shit. Price, Ghost and Gaz later on couldn't remember that reader smirked at them, nor did the four remember that reader pecked their foreheads as they all lay together, asleep, after being fucked and looked after by reader.
Stoic!reader who finishes changing, closes the door quietly letting their four boys sleep. Till next time.
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sixosix · 4 months
Note
hiii i fear tumblr may have ate my ask so i'll say it again just in case--if not im so sorry please ignore this i don't mean to rush you or anything :')
wanderer, candy(does that count?), fluff!! :D
(oh oh also can i be 🪐anon/saturn anon? if not thats fine! i just thought i'd ask since i think i've been sending asks consistently enough to identify myself ^^)
notes wc 800; HII your ask wasnt eaten, i was just taking a long time writing the requests LMFAO. of course u can be saturn anon!!! welcome welcome to the blog (this ask was sent a month ago and i am very much late. idek if anon is still active here…) tbh i wrote this and just went with the flow HAHA
5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST
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You unceremoniously dump the pile of imported goods on the table, causing quite a scene in the silence of the House of Daena. They scattered about, and some even clattered onto the floor. You grinned proudly at your friends’ dumbfounded stares.
Tighnari was the first to speak. “I’m assuming you had fun on your vacation in Inazuma?”
“Do you even have money left?” Alhaitham asked, quite incredulously. The most emotion you’ve seen from this month.
It took you a moment to respond, and you felt momentarily distracted by the strange sensation of being watched. “Well, no,” you said eventually. “But I bought all this for you guys! Be more grateful, will you?”
Kaveh clapped his hands. “This is incredible! I haven’t gotten the chance to try any of these local delicacies from Inazuma!”
You nodded approvingly. See? Was that so hard? “Yes, I know. Aren’t I such a good friend? You’re welcome, all of you.”
Belatedly, they mutter their thanks.
You went on a tangent, reciting the food sales pitch you memorized from the sellers, feeling remarkably intelligent. They didn’t have to know that, half the time, you were the personification of a lost tourist/foreigner/idiot in Inazuma and just decided to play it safe and keep most of the souvenirs as food.
They segregated their wanted share and thanked you again. They left you some of the candy, which you had no qualms about eating for yourself. As you all fell into the lull of a conversation, the feeling worsened, and you’ve had enough.
You turned to your friends. “He’s been staring at me for about 30 minutes now…”
They each cast their discreet glances.
“Are you scared?” Kaveh asked worriedly.
“Look at that look in his eye!” you said. “I’ve seen that same look in Rishboland Tigers!”
“He’s not going to eat you,” Tighnari sighed. Well, he wouldn’t know that. Only Alhaitham has met Hat Guy, and he seemed to be amused instead.
“Violence is not permitted in the Akademiya grounds,” Cyno said seriously.
“Maybe it’s not you he’s looking at…?” Tighnari tried.
“Cyno, switch with me,” you ordered.
Wordlessly, he obeyed. The group watched in disbelief as Hat Guy’s gaze simply moved to where you sat next. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.
“Maybe he’s interested because it’s a candy imported from Inazuma,” Cyno supplied thoughtfully.
“That’s a good point. I’m surprised you didn’t make a p—”
“Don’t you mean—” Cyno held up the box that displayed the Inazuman Electro symbol on the front, “shocked?”
You hung your head. You spoke too soon. “OK.”
Tighnari watched your face for a long moment, but it didn’t feel as charged as the guy sitting a few tables away. “You don’t seem to hate the attention,” he concluded at the sight your giddy smile.
“No, I really don’t,” you admitted sheepishly. “He’s smart, and he’s handsome. Of course I’m interested. I just wish he would be a bit more normal about his flirting—if he’s even flirting. Should I give him some?”
You didn’t wait for an answer as your chair scraped backward and you faced Hat Guy directly.
“Make sure it’s just the candy you’re giving!” Kaveh called out.
“I see that Sparks are flying,” Cyno said.
Walking over while you held his gaze was excessively awkward, but it was worthwhile seeing Hat Guy’s little smirk grow like he was pleased you were taking his challenge. It was a bit of a problem, however, that he was undeniably attractive. If he was cute from afar, he was drop-dead gorgeous up close.
“Y/N,” you said, in place of a greeting.
“They call me Hat Guy,” he mused. “Those from Inazuma?”
“Yes.” Suddenly embarrassed that the bullshit you were spewing was picked up on by the guy who everyone was pretty sure was born in Inazuma. “Did you hear me?”
Hat Guy shrugged, plucking one candy from the pile on your hands. “You did pretty well. But I only have one criticism, and I can tell you bought most of them from the same place.”
Ah, you did do that. He tore off the plastic and popped it into his mouth, expression turning sour. “The best ones come from the locals. You should’ve asked the kids,” he advised.
Mouth dry, you said, “Yeah, I should’ve.”
Everyone told you that the mysterious new student—Hat Guy, you now learned—was prickly and slips off when someone approaches him. His birthday was apparently a very thrilling event—in the case that everyone had to hunt him down to give him his cake.
“Want a tip?” he asked, head tilted and looking entirely pretty. His tongue rolled around as he ate his—your candy.
“You seem to know best.”
“Take me with you next time.”
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eatmeandbirthmeagain · 3 months
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Hello, I'm not sure The request is already closed or not, if it's already closed then I'm sorry. But if it's still open, I have a request.
Do you know the KOH bloopers, when Edward Norton try to speak but got interrupted by a peacock? So imagine Baldwin trying to have a serious conversation with his wife but always being interrupted by peacocks.
Thank you very much, and please take your time no need to rush. I always love your writing and I do hope can support you enough ❤️
♤ Those Darn Birds - King Baldwin x Reader ♤
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♤ Crack Fic ♤
A/N: Hello Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words and all your support, it really means a lot 🫶! This is a funny idea I like it a lot, thank you for sending it in. I hope it turned out how you imagined it would! As always this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!
PS: Sorry that this one is short
“I told you earlier darling, your sister said that their wedding will be here, at the castle! She offered to host their union here six months ago!” y/n said as she untied her hair from the braid it was previously in.
“They were planning on hosting it in Jerusalem anyway, it was simply for convenience sake” she added, turning away from the mirror to look at Baldwin, whose unmasked face had dropped the second she mentioned the wedding of his cousin and her soon to be husband being held at the castle.
“What?! Why would she do that?? She knows how much that man hates me?!” he said in utter disbelief causing y/n to roll her eyes.
“Oh hush Baldwin, he does not hate you and you don't even need to speak with him!” she turned back to the mirror, continuing to work on her hair.
“That man is a complete-” a sudden loud noise from outside cut him off.
“What on earth was that?” y/n asked, a slight smile spreading across her face.
“I don't know, anyway he hates me and no doubt he will-” the loud sound cut him off again causing the queen to burst into a fit of giggles.
With an annoyed sigh, Baldwin stood and walked over to the window to look for the source of the sound.
“Oh it's those darn peacocks! Why do we even have those stupid things” he muttered, returning to his seat on the edge of their shared bed.
“Language, husband!” y/n said through laughter.
The king smiled and attempted to continue his sentence. “So anyway, as I was saying, the man that my cousin is to be wed to is incredibly rude and will no doubt try to start an argument with me about something. I would rather just not attend the wedding but since it's in MY castle I must! I am tired of Sybila making decisions without asking me first. I-” the peacock's obnoxious screeching cut him off for a third time.
Y/n began laughing again and this time, Baldwin couldn't help but join her.
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this is a blog for people who wonder why they got this ask and the answer is "don't worry she sends this to anyone, it's best to just ignore her"
there is one person who is angry that not everyone is into her ship and tries to force it on us all
I'm reblogging asks that were sent to people who have nothing to do with this part of fandom or already told her to stop sending these kinds of asks so we all know that this is just random spam, nothing to lose your energy over
there is no sense in arguing and please don't attack her, she craves bad attention, just ignore future asks, mark as spam, delete and block (tho she uses vpn)
if you want to know more go to @marinamd29-stopharassingpeople
or read @she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats posts recounting a full year of trying to reason with marina aka the roche/ciri anon
yes, people were nice and polite to her and still got anon hate in their inbox
PS: Her Instagram account dedicated to the ship has over 800 followers and each post gets some comment and likes. I don't know why she's so desperately looking for more approval from random people on tumblr instead of interacting more with those who like her ship
_________________________________
I didn't want to share her accounts before, because I worry that people will use it to do exactly what she accuses everyone of, but it's the best way to limit the anon asks. blocking an anon blocks the IP address, but since she uses VPN, she can still send anons from her usual blogs. if you block those blogs directly, she has to create new ones before being able to send you more asks. Just, please, only use this to block her, don't become the asshole sending around hate yourself
block those "marina's old blog" accounts too! that's just her playing dead!
[last edit 15.08.24]
@ladymarinamart
@marinamart29
@antiallwitchersships
@someone-is-nobody
@lady-star-moon
@colorfulwerewolfkingdom
@whereisvernilla
@martmarina
@witcherfandomhater
@antirorveth
@stophatevernonciri
@fuckrorvethtotalitarianism
@ebejajananaj
@wisecatfest
@anti-witcher-fandom
--> please block and report the following as spam, they are doxxing accounts full of impersonation and stolen fanwork!
@do-androiids-dream-ao3acc
@notzzzett
(past Blog names @lady-star-moon29, @butitwouldneverbelike)
these are just the ones I know of, could be that she has more (please write if you know another one), and as I said, please only use this info for blocking purposes, not to attack her
_________________________________
If you didn't want your post reblogged, you can always pm me and I will delete it ASAP!
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emmett6 · 1 month
Text
i am being attacked by antis.
this is emmett. emmettnet, emmettverse, emmettland, emmettundead, emmettlab. whichever blog you knew me from.
i am a whump creator. i've been in the whump community for a few years now. and now, i am unable to share my work with the community on here because people are mass reporting me for being a proshipper, and Tumblr keeps deleting my blogs as a result.
(if that isn't the reason why, i would be more than happy to get the explanation from @staff that i've been asking for.)
now, that is speculation on my part based on the timing of each termination (it's after i put my pinned post in the whump tags).
but here are the facts:
months ago, i became comfortable enough to share proshipping content. seeing as how every other artist would link their nsfw work on here, i thought it was acceptable for me to do the same so long as the preview image did not violate any rules.
an anon asked if i was a proshipper, and i said i didn't ascribe to that label*, but i agreed with the philosophy.
*i don't have any choice BUT to use it now because my posts get removed for describing what the content is
note that this anon asked multiple people in the whump community if they were proshippers. it was the same person each time, same copy-and-pasted responses.
i kept posting my proshipping content, all with links and extensive content warnings.
i started getting anon hate.
my account was terminated. after further reflection and rereading the terms of service AGAIN, i figured maybe links are not allowed and so i switched to DM only.
this time, the anon hate was consistent. every week was something new. every day felt like bracing myself to open my inbox. i kept anon on, since i have so many people who feel uncomfortable sending asks off anon and didn't want to take away their safe space.
months pass. i go on hiatus for all of July. i find out someone stole my old nsfw art and reposted their edited versions of it to rule34, a site that i never wanted my work to be on. this person waited until the exact starting day of my hiatus to do this.
i come back to more anon hate in my inbox.
suddenly, out of nowhere, my account is terminated again.
i make a new blog. more anon hate. another termination.
lather, rinse, repeat.
i stopped doing DM only stuff. i figured, if i just link my other platforms and only post safe things on Tumblr, there's nothing in the rules against that. everyone has links to their social media.
i still get terminated. and again, i keep getting terminated after i post my pinned post in the whump tags. which -- speculation again -- leads me and others to think that these antis are stalking the whump tags, waiting for me to show up so they can mass report me and get me terminated.
i have NO idea what they would report, aside from claiming i'm trying to "dodge being blocked". which, i'm not. in fact, i say every single time i come back that i WANT people to block me if they need to.
but regardless, it keeps happening.
i'm losing a place i considered home.
i'm being forced out of a community on here i love so dearly.
and you want to know something funny? for some strange reason, i'm unable to block my anons. yup. an 'error' message comes up. and i'm apparently unable to report them too -- like reporting the one who called me a 'tumblr tranny' and said i would 'always be a woman' for hate speech. oops, sorry. error message.
by now, i've been called evil. told to listen to my intrusive thoughts. told that i should be on a watch list. told that it's disgusting that someone's mutuals still interact with me. told that i have no place in the whump community.
i know that's not true.
i'm so sick and tired of being treated like this. i'm tired of being dehumanized. and i'm disgusted with this behavior.
at this point, i'm just screaming as many times as i can. i'll keep losing blogs, because i know my attackers will read this and just keep on reporting me. what do they have to lose? nothing. they don't have enough of a conscience to care. and why should they? clearly, i'm a monster. i'm a piece of shit. i don't deserve basic respect, and i apparently don't deserve to keep my 'platform'. to stay in my community and to keep my livelihood.
my discord is emmettnet. send me a DM if you don't want to lose me, because there is no point in following me repeatedly just for every blog to be terminated.
if you want to reblog this to spread the word and show your support, i would be eternally grateful. but i understand if you choose not to; i don't want anyone to be subjected to what i'm going through.
thank you for reading.
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runningfrom2am · 6 months
Text
cold nights // part twenty-seven
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summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.4k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: omg we're coming up on the end i could cry :') i finished writing everything and i feel like a shell of a person rn without this fic to plan and write, but i hope you guys are excited! there will be five more parts after this and then the epilogue, which brings me to some really exciting news!!
big news #1: i'm opening oneshot requests for this series!! my normal requests will remain closed but i'd love to see what you guys want for the more of this series! (link is here!)
big news #2: the end of this story is opening the doors to my third coryo series which I've been working on for a hot minute, and it'll be called requiem! (see the original request for it here to get the vibes before i post anything!)
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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The protests caught you off guard, more than anything.
It had only been two weeks since you started your classes and you were loving them, but you hated getting dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon. You and Coryo could no longer eat lunch outside, and the previously full lecture halls you had occupied saw more and more students dropping out as people stood outside just to shout at you as you came and went from the school four days a week. To call you an animal, that you don't belong there, that you should be "put down" for crimes against the Capitol. What they were? You had no idea.
Suffice to say, parents were not happy that you were there.
Generally, Coryo said that people had loved you in the games. You were "harmless", and "sweet", you gave them someone to root for- but now that you were walking freely among them instead of being kept behind the bars at the zoo or trapped inside the arena awaiting your death, you were suddenly a threat.
"They... they think I'll hurt someone?" You sniff, watery eyes overflowing as you look at Coryo lying beside you in his bed.
He bites his tongue, nodding as he wipes away your tears with the hand he has resting just under your cheek on top of his pillow. "They're afraid. That's all, it's not because of anything you did."
"I won't." You cry. "I would never, you know that, right?"
"I know, love. I know that." He promises you quietly.
"I don't want people to be afraid of me. It's not fair to them... If they feel unsafe I should just drop out."
"You're not doing that." He insists with a slight shake of his head. "We'll figure it out. Okay? Don't worry about them."
You just nod softly, wiping your eyes as he pushes his arm under your neck. "C'mere." He mumbles rolling onto his back and you move closer, laying your head on his chest as he pulls you closer to his side.
Coryo did figure it out, for the most part, which is how you ended up standing in Capitol TV's studios, awaiting an interview with Lucky Flickerman, someone you definitely thought you would never see again after the games. You didn't know how Coryo did it, who he had to talk to in order to convince them to let you plead your case so publicly. Apparently, the Snow name came with more power than you knew.
"You're gonna do great, love." Coryo whispers to you. "Just be yourself, but remember what I said about your essay, right? Be honest, but think about how you word things. I know you can do it." He assures you quietly, hands resting on your shoulders.
You nod, giving him a hopeful smile. "Thank you."
"I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere." These types of reassurances were becoming less and less necessary over the month you've been here, but still, you don't like it when he's far, and he doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are. It worked nicely for you both.
"Miss Y/L/N, whenever you're ready." One of the crew directs you, pointing to the comfortable chair they had set up in front of a homey-looking backdrop. It was fake, but it was meant to look like you were in someone's house. The idea of it was confusing to you, but you supposed it was also unimportant. You had much bigger concerns.
"Thank you." You smile at them and give Coryo another quick nod before making your way over to the seat that they said was yours.
Coryo watches as you carefully brush your hands over the front of your dress, smoothing it as you sit down. You looked so elegant as you did it, if he didn't know better, it looked like the habits of the people you were now surrounded with were rubbing off on you quickly. He had watched you rehearse how you would carry yourself and how you would speak and act with Tigris just this morning, after she fit you into the dress she had made for the occasion. Clearly, you had been paying attention.
When you draw your hair from your back and over your shoulder so your meticulously styled curls wouldn't be crushed against the chair, Coryo thinks he might need to sit down. Especially so when you look back at him again, subtly waving at him with your hand from where they are placed in your lap. The dress Tigris had given to you was red- a deep red silky material that complimented the red of his coat and mimicked the shade of the Capitol's flag but still had you standing out on your own. Seeing the way that dress fit you and hugged your form in all the right ways even as you were sitting, he was sure he had never been more grateful to his cousin and her talents.
"Y/N, it's so good to see you again." Lucky smiles at you as he sits down across from you, adjusting the small device attached to his lapel as crew members come up to you and fasten the same thing to the front and back of your dress.
"You as well." You grin, trying the best you can to mask your nervousness.
"Are you ready? Do you need anything?" He asks and you shake your head.
"I am ready whenever you are." You confirm, looking around as some more lights flick on, bright in your eyes as the man behind the camera starts counting down.
You look over at Coryo one last time and he nods at you. It was just like your first interview all over again- you had to sell yourself to the people. To prove that you were worth trusting.
"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman," You smile as he flips a coin up into the air. You've seen him do it before, but you still weren't sure how the trick worked. "Amateur magician and your host for everything interesting on Capitol TV, and today is certainly no exception. Today, I have a familiar face with me who I know you will all recognize as well, the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, Miss Y/N Y/L/N." He looks over at you and you keep your eyes on him, certain that all cameras are watching you now.
"Y/N, I am so happy to have you back. How have you been?" Lucky asks you and you're already fighting off the need to fidget with your hands.
"I am very well." You smile at him. "How about yourself? It has been a while."
"I'm great, thank you! You know, I was not allowed to bet on the games, but anyone who was there can tell you that I predicted your win from the beginning. You certainly are something else."
"Oh, well thank you." You giggle. "Though, I can't fully be credited for my win. I have to thank the sponsors who allowed Coriolanus to send me food and water. That made all the difference in my game."
"Oh, most definitely." He agrees. "But you shouldn't deny your own role in that. Hiding in the vents, that was genius!" Lucky claps. "Truly, that was a jaw-dropping moment for all of us watching. I remember thinking 'wow, how did she think of that?' It was incredible!"
"Yes, well, I saw the grate and knew it was worth a try." You shrug, slightly laughing. "I had nothing to lose."
"Yes, well, I'm dying to know- what have you been up to the last few months? You went back to Twelve, and then what?"
"Oh! Yes, I did. I've been spending time with friends and family, I got a job at the local library, catching up on some reading, that sort of thing." You grin, glancing at Coryo for only a moment and he gestures for you to continue. "I got home and I really realized for the first time how much we should be appreciating everything we have- even out in the Districts where sometimes life is tough, it's key to remember how privileged we are to be alive. The games were truly eye-opening for me."
Coryo gives you a quick nod of approval, and you smile, training your view back on the man across from you.
"Yes, I agree. Live life to the fullest, that's what they say." You just nod at his response. "Which also begs the question, if you were happy back in Twelve, what brought you back to the Capitol?"
Let the lies begin.
"Well," You laugh nervously. "When I was given the opportunity to come here for the games back in July, I was so interested in everything. The people who I got to talk to, the things I got to see, it was all amazing and I was just dying for more."
"So you decided to come study at the university here, is what I've heard."
"Yes, exactly." You grin. "I just think that the Capitol has so much to offer as far as education goes, I am already learning so much and I am having so much fun doing it."
"So really, your focus is just on your education." He prompts you and you nod.
"Definitely, considering the course load I don't have time for much else, but that doesn't really bother me. Like I said, I just want to learn from the greatest minds in the nation. Even the other students, it's amazing! Everyone has earned their spot there and I can see why and all the work they have put in to be there. It's a privilege to study among them, and I am so grateful that I was given this chance."
"You say 'all the work that they put in to be there', but you didn't attend the academy, so how is it that you were admitted?"
"I filled out the same application that all the other students did, I went through all the same testing." You confirm, nodding at him. "Although," You laugh slightly. "I was only given one day to complete it all. I was locked away in my room working on it all night. I hardly had time to blink, it was tough."
"Wow!" Lucky laughs. "One day? I remember when I applied to the university, my application took months to get just right. You must have aced it all."
"I am very proud of the work I did to be admitted, yes." You smile.
"From what I hear, you should be." He agrees. "So, you're really not in it for the sake of making friends."
"Well, I certainly would love to, but it is not my priority." You nod. "But, if any of my classmates are watching, I promise I am good at proofreading and if you need a second set of eyes on your papers, I'm happy to help. I'd also love to have more people to discuss our readings with." You joke, looking into the camera for the first time.
Lucky laughs. "You've heard it here, everyone. Y/N's pitch to make some friends!"
"Yes, I suppose it was." You chuckle, smiling at him.
"Now on the topic of friends while we're getting to know you better," You tilt your head at him while he begins the question, unsure where it is going. "Back home, do you have a boyfriend? Surely he must be missing you."
"No, not at home..." You laugh, catching in the corner of your eye as Coryo shakes his head at you, his face flat of emotion. "I don't have a boyfriend. Again, that's really just not where my priorities lie at the moment. I've... I've had a very busy year, you could say." You explain hesitantly.
"Wow! A beautiful girl like you?" You laugh nervously at his response. "Capitol boys! She's smart, pretty, and single. Just saying." He says, raising his hands.
You knew his job today was to help you, to make you more likable and more normal, to humanize you, but it was still uncomfortable to hear. "Oh, please." You laugh nervously, waving a hand at him. "Like I said, I'm just here to learn. I'm not after anyone's son."
"No? Not even all the handsome boys in your classes? I'm sure there are at least a few." He teases you and your cheeks flush red.
"I wouldn't know, I'm watching the lectures." You shrug jokingly.
Coryo is trying not to lose his mind while you talk about how single you are. Not that you were much of a willing participant, and to be fair he did tell you not to indicate to them that the two of you were together. You technically weren't, if he was being totally fair, but just because it hadn't been said doesn't mean it isn't real. He knew you knew that, though. So why was he getting so mad?
He doesn't even realize how little attention he was paying after that until you're standing up and shaking Lucky's hand. It was over, you'd done everything you could have to ease the minds of scared and angry Capitol parents.
Lucky gives you a quick hug, wishing you good luck in your classes before you're allowed to rejoin Coryo. "Ready to go?" He asks and you nod.
"How did I do?" You ask as you walk out of the studio and into the hall, aiming for the elevator to take you back to ground level.
"Amazing, love. You were perfect." Coryo confirms, still noticeably tense as he walks next to you.
"Are you sure?" You ask as he presses the button to call the car up to your level, unsure since he still hasn't really looked at you.
The door opens and you both step in. "Yes." He tells you again, quickly tapping the door close button.
"Oh, good. I was really nervous..." You laugh slightly as the doors slide shut, and as soon as any light from the hall ceases to enter the elevator his hands are on you and his lips are pressed against yours.
You let out the slightest squeak out of shock, but quickly relax as Coryo rubs familiar small circles on your hips with his thumbs. How he could be so gentle as he backs you into the wall of the elevator you don't know, but you're grateful for it as you hum into his mouth. But still, something was different.
Spending so much time with you only made him want you more. He loved you, he knew that, and someplace deep in the corners of his mind, he had always wanted you in a way he never thought possible when he first fell for you before the games. Now, with you curled up under his sheets almost every night, seeing you step out of the bathroom with damp hair after a shower in pyjamas that don't fit you quite right, he thought about it more than ever. Thoughts of you plagued him more than usual, and the best way to describe the accompanying feeling was guilt. Guilt that he couldn't show you off given the circumstances- at least not yet.
He trails his kisses away from your lips and across your jaw, pulling you tighter against him. "You're so beautiful, my love..." He mumbles into the skin just below your ear, leaving a kiss in his wake that has your head spinning.
You giggle, eyes fluttering open. "What has gotten into you?" You ask, hands sliding up over his chest to rest on his shoulders.
"I can't tell my girlfriend that I think she's gorgeous?" He asks, shaking his head slightly as he looks down into your eyes.
"Oh, so I am your girlfriend." You giggle and he nods, kissing you again.
"Of course you are, and don't forget it." He chuckles, pulling back from you as the elevator stops moving, waiting for the doors to open.
Your skin is flushed down to your chest as the doors slide apart and even though he's not touching you anymore, you can feel the ghost of his hands on you. You look up at him, a lingering smirk still on his face as he looks straight ahead and leads you out of the car.
The phone rang at the time you were eating dinner, and you quickly asked if you could be excused to go answer it. Coryo and Tigris both just nodded at you, but you could still feel their grandmother's eyes burning into your back as you quickly walked away. She still wasn't fond of you, but she tolerated you. For now, that was just enough.
You grab the phone off the receiver as the small round screen flickers to life. "Hello?" You answer, hopeful that it would finally be your family you see on the other side.
You had answered every call that came to the Snow's apartment for weeks, waiting anxiously to hear their voices again.
"Y/N, is that you, honey?"
You gasp with excitement when you get a clear enough view of your ma. "Ma! Hi!" You smile, leaning in a little closer to get a more clear view as the camera on their end begins to adjust. This was likely the first time it was being used.
"Oh, honey, how good it is to see you!" She smiles, and out of nowhere, you feel hot tears welling up in your eyes.
"You too, Ma." You nod, biting into your lower lip. You didn't want to cry so quickly into the call. "How are you? How's everything at home?"
"Same old." She shakes her head with a slight laugh. "I'm much more interested in you- how is everything? How is school? And how is Tybalt settling in? How are you settling in? My goodness, I just have so many questions!"
You laugh, quickly wiping a stray tear. You had told them about all of this in letters, of course, but she just wanted to hear you say it all. "Everything is good. School has been so lovely, Coryo walks me to all my classes and we eat lunch together between. And Tybalt just loves it here! They have a garden on the roof, and I take him up there as often as I can. Tigris won't stop giving him treats either so he couldn't be happier."
You look down at the animal as he brushes against your leg, looking up at you.
"That's amazing. I've been so worried, it's just so good to see your face again. God, we've been missin' you..."
"I miss you too." You agree, careful not to choke on your tears. "How is Len? And have you seen Lucy Gray and the Covey?"
"He's... He's doing alright." Your mother looks off-screen, and you assume he must be there. The look on her face, one of nervousness and hesitation tells you he doesn't want to speak to you. "But Lucy Gray has been around every day, she and Maude Ivory come over and they help me with hanging the laundry and such... It's been good to have them around."
You smile sadly, nodding slightly with the receiver pressed to your ear. You felt bad about that aspect of leaving- you spent as much time as you could before the games helping out around the house, but even in the summer when you came back you weren't much help. Your mother wouldn't let you do dishes all summer, for fear that the sight of a knife might set you off. She knew you came back a different person, and she wasn't taking any risks. All she really allowed you to do was hang laundry and "keep her company" while she did other home chores. But now, she didn't even have that.
"Can I speak to him?" You ask, referring to your brother who you knew was there.
She nods, waving off camera and holding her hand over the wrong part of the phone. "Lennox, come over here. Y/N wants to talk to you."
His response is muffled, but you make out the gist of it. 'I don't want to talk to her'.
"She's your sister, Lennox. You can't ignore her forever."
'If she wants to talk, she should come home.'
Your heart clenches in your chest and you chew your lip. You have to pretend you couldn't hear, but you just felt so horribly guilty. You shouldn't have left, but he doesn't understand you had no choice. He wouldn't be able to understand until you could come home and see him again, likely not until the summer. Coryo had told you to be mindful of what you write in letters and what you say on the phone, it's possible others were listening. The Capitol was always listening.
"He's just a little busy right now, honey." She smiles at you, but you can see right through it. "But tell me about your day! Did you have class?"
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taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses, @cascadingbliss
okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!
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the-dreadful-bard · 1 month
Text
As suggested by an anon, I wrote a oneshot based on one of my rejanis text memes. Here it is. No title because I'd rather die than pick titles for fics. Lmk what you think if you read it <3
Warnings: light sub/dom dynamics if you look too closely????, pretty obvious praise kink, Regina has bad thoughts, all that and there's not even smut in this??? Pairing: Regina/Janis Based on this:
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Janis drives at the speed limit, her heart pounding against her ears as her thoughts run rampant. Did Regina really mean what she said? She needs to take the chance, there's no way she's losing an opportunity like that. If she's being messed with, she'll get mad at herself (and at Regina) later, not now. Now, it's time to take the leap. 
Her blood is rushing and she feels apprehensive about what she's about to do. She parks her car in Regina's driveway and has to will her heart to stop running, but she fails pathetically. She checks her reflection, making sure she looks acceptable, before getting out of the car and sending another text to Regina, even though her hands are shaking so hard she can barely hold her phone right.
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Janis anxiously makes her way to the door of the large George household, waiting for Regina's response. She doesn't get anything back for a while. She waits a bit, shifting her stance every few seconds, and when she's ready to turn around and leave, the door opens, revealing a surprised-looking Regina George, who can't stop the nervous laugh that comes out of her lips as soon as she sees Janis standing there. 
“You actually came,” Regina says, with disbelief in her voice.
Janis scratches the back of her neck, face flushing as she takes in the sight in front of her. Regina is wearing pajamas. She clearly didn't expect visitors. Was she bluffing?
“Oh. I did. Should I go and pretend this never happened?” She asks, gesturing back to the car parked a few feet away. Her heart still won't stop pounding like crazy.
“No! I just thought you were playing around.” 
Regina's voice sounds softer than usual, which makes Janis even more nervous. She's so… 
“And I thought you might be messing with me,” Janis interjects.
Regina shakes her head and steps closer to her guest, who shivers. 
“I don't do that anymore. Not with you. I'm trying to be better, you know. To be honest about… how I feel. I was flirting. For real. I didn't know if you would believe me but a part of me really hoped you would.”
Again, Regina's voice makes Janis' whole body quiver. She looks up into those deep blue eyes that show vulnerability for the first time in what feels like forever. She didn't think she'd ever see that Regina again. Not even after they made up and stopped “hating” each other. It's thrilling. 
Janis finds herself filled with confidence. Regina was flirting with her. But did she mean what she said? Janis smiles shyly, trying not to lose her nerve.
“Well, am I getting the kiss you promised or nah?” She manages to ask, feeling proud of herself for not stuttering or choking on her words.
A smile takes over Regina's lips and she plays with her hair for a moment while taking a quick look around before touching Janis' cheek and pressing a quick kiss to her lips.
It's over before Janis' brain can even register the fact that she's being kissed, and Regina stares back at her with a tiny grin. Janis tilts her head and pouts. 
“That was way too quick, I could barely even feel it!” She complains.
Regina chuckles, running her fingers through her hair.
“Fair. Come in, I don't want my creepy neighbors watching us.” She says, grabbing Janis by the hand and pulling her until they're standing inside the house. 
Regina slams the door behind them and pushes Janis' back against it, grinning as she stands dangerously close to her and raises an eyebrow as if challenging her to make the move this time.
Janis gets on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around Regina's neck before kissing her with obvious desire. The blonde lets out a low moan when Janis pulls on her hair.
“Oh, you like that, don't you?” Janis teases.
“Shut up.” Regina protests, face flushing in a way that's actually adorable.
“Make me.”
That's all she needs to hear before kissing Janis again. 
They kiss for what feels like hours, discovering numerous new ways to make the other blush, until they separate with heavy breaths and ridiculously dilated pupils. Janis' legs feel like jello, and Regina's heart won't slow down.
“So… about that other thing you said earlier…” Janis says, holding onto Regina by the waist and looking up into her eyes adoringly.
“Oh, that. You think you're being a good girl?” The blonde inquires, smirking.
How she loves having Janis in the palm of her hand like this... It feels inebriating. She can't believe it took her so long to realize what her fucking problem was. If only she knew that before wasting so much of her time with mediocre guys. 
Janis rolls her eyes and gives her a pointed look. “You think I'm not? What else do I possibly need to do? Kneel? Do you want me to beg for you? Because that's a little mean, don't you think? Especially coming from someone who's already humiliated me plenty.” 
That makes Regina reconsider her strategy. Maybe Janis is right. Maybe, after all she's done… she should be the one begging.
She sighs, straightening her back. “You know what? You make a great fucking point. Let's change things up, kay?” 
With that, while keeping direct eye contact with Janis, Regina kneels down at her feet.
“Better?” 
She takes one of Janis' hands and kisses it, then positions it on the back of her head, wrapping her fingers around her blonde locks.
Janis struggles not to completely lose her shit at the image she sees. Regina George, on her knees for her, looking up at her with those blue eyes, her lips slightly open. It's truly a sight to behold.
“Do you like me like this, Jay? What d'you wanna do to me? I'm at your mercy, come on. Take me, boss me around, shut me up. Do what you've always wanted to do to me.”
That voice. Janis feels like she's on top of the world. She can't believe Regina would just give her so much power. With her other hand, she touches the blonde's cheek gently.
“Is this what you want?”
She would never put Regina in this position without her consent. She still feels bad about her revenge and how the girl died for fifteen seconds right in front of her not even a full year ago.
“I want you to want me,” Regina whispers, so soft she can barely hear it.
Janis sighs, rubbing her thumb over the soft skin under her touch.
“I do. More than I should,” she confesses.
“Then take me. Show me what I've been missing. Show me how to atone for what I've done to you. Punish me.”
Regina's entire body is in flames. She needs Janis. She can't handle it anymore. She's always wanted her. She doesn't know how to stop thinking about her eyes and her lips and the way her nose scrunches. She can't stop thinking about having Janis all to herself.
“You've been punished enough. What if I reward you instead? After all, you're a really good girl now, aren't you?” Janis asks, smirking as she finally finds the right thing to say. 
Regina's pupils dilate even wider as she takes in Janis' words. She nods, still staring into big brown eyes eagerly.
“I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you are.”
Regina tries to will the words out of her mouth, but there's something stopping her. She doesn't believe she's good. Not even now. She still feels like she's rotten to the core and undeserving of love. Undeserving of Janis.
“I- I don't know if I can.” 
Her voice breaks. 
Damn. That little voice in her head speaks up like it always does whenever she feels inappropriate. She tries to ignore it, but it knows her too well, it is her. It knows just how to affect her.
Congrats, Regina! You can't even do the most basic shit, like saying four words to please the girl you like. How pathetic. How long will it take for her patience to run out and for her to give up on you? After all, you gave up on her first, didn't you? You ruined her just like you ruin everything you touch. You'll never amount to anything. You'll always be a sad little rich girl with nobody to play with.
The look in Regina's eyes makes Janis' heart break. She has a fair idea about what must be going through the girl's head. Regina's always been easy to read when she wasn't pretending. Her eyes hide deep emotional turmoil from those who don't know her like the back of their hands. Like Janis knows her. She shakes her hand and crouches down so she's close to Regina's ear. 
“I know you can.” 
She presses a kiss on her cheek. 
“You're such a good girl, Gina. Being honest and open and offering me so much... that's a lot more than the old Regina would ever give me.” 
She leaves a kiss on the girl's forehead. 
“But it's okay. You don't have to say it. Not today. I'll make you say it eventually, though. I'll get you to believe it if you let me.” 
Janis lifts Regina's face and kisses her before straightening herself again.
“Get up.”
The blonde looks up at her with something that seems like sadness and confusion in her eyes. Janis doesn't want her anymore, does she? Because Regina failed. And of course, she'd fail, she can't ever do anything right.
“But-”
Janis shakes her head and holds Regina's face again.
“It was incredibly sexy to see you like this, but I think we should go to your room.” 
Those words ignite the hope inside her again and muffle down the noise in her head.
Janis helps Regina up and pulls her by the hand. She still remembers how to get to the girl's bedroom. Regina lets herself be guided, in silence as she still tries to come to terms with the fact that Janis might still want her. 
As soon as they get to the bedroom, Regina stares at the other girl with a question in her eyes, suddenly shy and nervous, which is a sight that Janis finds herself weirdly enjoying.
“What is it, Gina?” She asks, embracing the girl in front of her around the neck in a way she hopes seems casual. She's not sure she's ready for her to know just how much she actually cares.
“Are we still…” She trails off, avoiding Janis' eyes. She might seem like the most confident bitch alive, but Janis has always been her weakness.
“That depends on you, princess. I'm down for whatever you want to do. But we can also take a rain check and cuddle in bed for tonight, maybe make out for a while, I might let you get to second base if you behave. You know… take our time. But I mean, that's assuming you're not looking for a one-night stand, which-”
“I'm not! I want to see where this goes.” Regina interjects, unwilling to let Janis think even for a second that this is a one-time thing for her. 
Janis smiles softly, then gets on her tiptoes to kiss Regina with no rush. “Do you like me?”
That makes the blonde frown, confused. She thought it was obvious by now. How can't she tell?
“Uh, I'm starting to question your intelligence. Do you really need to ask? Of course I fucking like you, Janis. I got on my knees for you.”
Janis chuckles, enjoying being so close to Regina after having convinced herself she would never get this. 
“I wanted to hear you say it out loud. I mean, you already figured me out, you know I've been trying to suppress my feelings for you by giving you a hard time. No use denying it now.” She admits, smiling shyly at Regina, who squeezes her around the waist and leans down to kiss her soundly.
“That's good to know. Can you stay the night? We haven't shared a bed in forever. I, uh, I guess I missed you. And maybe you're right, maybe we should really savor this before going all the way. I mean, that would be different from what I usually do, which could be... I don't know, nice? Don't get me wrong, I'm-”
"Hey. It's okay. I know what you mean."
For some reason, hearing Regina say all that makes Janis feel more confident about whatever they're doing. It gives her the impression that she might be serious about this.
Janis grins, “And of course I can stay. Do you have some clothes I can borrow? I don't really feel like sleeping in jeans.”
Regina nods before letting go of Janis and walking away, only to return a moment later with sweatpants and a cozy-looking shirt. She hands them to Janis.
“Should I get changed here or...”
“I'll turn around.” She says, doing as promised, except... there's a mirror right there, which she obviously knew about. She winks at Janis through the reflection, and the girl, smirking, turns around, taking her shirt off and exposing her back to Regina, who can't take her eyes off the mirror. 
Soon enough, Janis is wearing Regina's clothes, which brings her back to years in the past before everything changed between them. It's bittersweet. But she likes where they are now. She just hates that it took them hurting each other so much before they could get there.
Regina gets under the covers and gestures for Janis to join her, which she does. She snuggles into her and presses her head against her chest, the thrumming of her heart bringing her peace. Janis gently runs her fingers through Regina's long blonde hair. 
“This is really nice,” Regina whispers, a few seconds later, eyes closed, truly enjoying their closeness and the way Janis touches her.
She hums in agreement, not stopping her gentle caresses on Regina's scalp. 
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” The blonde speaks up again, incredibly relaxed. Only Janis could get her to slow down this way. She's missed everything about this. About her.
“Not really. Why?”
“Let me take you out. On a date.” 
Regina can feel it as Janis' heart speeds up. She smiles to herself. 
“Oh! Really?” Janis asks, genuinely surprised. She didn't expect Regina to be so direct so fast, she thought for sure she would be the one having to make those moves. She's not displeased, though. As a matter of fact, she's excited. Giddy, one could say.
“Yeah, really. I told you I wanna see where this goes. I've never gone on a date with a girl before and I'm used to not putting in any effort with guys. They're easy, but boring. You… you're worth the effort.” 
Janis leans down to kiss Regina on the forehead, unable to stop herself from showing her affection. It feels so unbelievably nice to be with her like this.
“My answer is yes. But can I ask... When did you find out about how you feel?”
“About you?” Regina inquires.
Janis nods, making a little humming noise like she's saying yes. Regina fully knows the answer to her question, she's just unsure how the girl will react to that information.
“You're not gonna believe me.”
“Try me, I might.”
Regina sighs, resigning herself to her fate. She won't lie to Janis. It would be a terrible way to start a potential relationship.
“At first, I got really jealous when I saw you with Cady in the cafeteria. I wanted to take her from you. And then I wanted to take Aaron from her. Because if I couldn't be happy, nobody could. And I wasn't happy, no matter who I dated or what I did. I had no idea why- thought I was just not meant for happiness or love.”
Janis stays in silence, intently listening to Regina's confession. She had theorized that the blonde had a crush on Cady in the past. She never thought she was the one Regina might have wanted.
“I ignored it. Ignored how I felt when you and I kissed, ignored how I felt whenever I saw you since we stopped being friends—I couldn't think about you, it was dangerous in my head. Then I died.”
Janis' grip on Regina gets tighter then. She hates remembering that. The sight of her former childhood friend lying on the ground, bloody and broken. Not breathing. It still haunts her in her dreams sometimes. 
“You know, you were actually the last thing I remember seeing before I lost consciousness. And it felt like ages went by, and all I could think about was how I was going to die right there, with you hating me.”
Regina stops for a second, absorbing the heaviness of her own words. She's still not completely sure what happened that day. She doesn't remember much about the accident. Janis' arms feel even tighter around her, grounding her. That's what inner peace must feel like, she wonders. Being in the arms of someone you love, knowing they love you back. Maybe someday she might have that. This is the closest she's ever felt to it.
“When I woke up, it was like my brain was knocked into place, I guess. Everything felt different. I dreamed about you when I was in my coma, which is insane.”
That surprises Janis. The idea of Regina dreaming about her while she was fighting for her life is so… it is insane. She never would have guessed it.
“I dreamed that we were talking in the restroom during spring fling and I came out to you. I dreamed that you visited me almost every day while I was recovering. Those all felt like different realities, in a sense. It would never happen for real. It didn't happen, but this... this feels pretty close to those dreams.”
She sighs before continuing. “I think… the accident knocked out the part of me that was able to compartmentalize what I felt about you. Because when I woke up, I couldn't stop thinking about you. About what I did to you, and what you did to me, and how I needed to fix things. And when we did talk, when we agreed to forgive each other and see where that would take us, I found myself wanting to be around you more and more.”
Regina trails off for a second and lifts her head to watch Janis, who looks back at her silently and nods as if to encourage her to keep going.
“I don't know exactly when I started liking you. I can't fucking tell. Maybe I've felt this way forever and never knew on a conscious level. But I thought I would never get you the way I wanted you, I mean, I thought you still hated me until an hour ago.”
Janis gasps. “You did?”
That makes Regina chuckle amusedly and roll her eyes.
“Can you blame me? I was trying to send you a cute text earlier and you told me to shut the fuck up.”
Janis sighs, admitting to herself that Regina's perception makes a lot of sense. Sometimes she acts before she thinks. Maybe that's something she should work on.
“I don't know why I say the things I say sometimes. Well, this time specifically, I didn't want to listen because I was scared my brain would catch up to the fact that I could never really get over you. But I was, uh, I was surprised by your response.”
Regina's expression turns into a shy smile. She gently leans closer to Janis' lips, giving her the chance to push her away if she wants to, but she doesn't, so she kisses her softly before speaking up again.
“Yeah, I was being hopeful, though I fully expected you to tell me to fuck off. But when you didn't… I had to try and see what I could get away with. When I saw your text saying you were at the door I was really fucking shocked.”
Janis holds both sides of Regina's face and pulls her in for another unrushed kiss. She still feels warm and her heart shows no sign of calming down. This feels surreal to her. She really is in Regina George’s bed, lazily making out with her, after an insane turn of events that likely would never happen if they weren't so efficient at matching each other's freak.
“Oh, I wouldn't wanna waste an opportunity like that, ‘you kidding me? I'm glad you weren't messing with me, that would have been really embarrassing.” Janis admits when they separate a minute or so later.
“And I'm glad you came,” Regina reveals, kissing Janis’ neck. “I really wanna kiss you for like eighteen hours nonstop but I'm really tired and my back is killing me, so can we do that tomorrow?”
Janis leisurely runs her fingers through Regina's hair. “Of course. Do you take anything for the pain?”
“Sometimes. But right now I'm too lazy and cold to get up and take it so we're just gonna hope I'll wake up feeling better.”
Janis won't accept that. Not while she's around. “No, ma'am. What do you need? I can get it for you.”
Regina's heart fills with affection at those words. Her boyfriends were never so considerate and kind to her, not even Aaron (which deep down, she knows is her own fault.) It's hard not to swoon at Janis' obvious care for her.
“That's… really fucking sweet of you. It's in the bathroom cabinet, you can't miss it. It's the only orange bottle in there.” 
Janis kisses Regina on the cheek before gently untangling herself from her grip to get up. “Okay, I'll be right back, princess.” 
The girl returns less than two minutes later, with the medicine bottle and a glass of water for Regina, who thanks her before swallowing one of the pills with the liquid and setting them on the bedside table when she's done. Janis climbs back under the covers and the blonde immediately snuggles into her again, kissing her jaw. 
“Now get some sleep, yeah? I'll be here when you wake up.” Janis whispers, gently squeezing Regina in her arms and getting comfortable.
“Promise?”
The blonde's voice sounds exhausted but adorable. Janis sighs relaxedly.
“Of course, I would never miss our first date.”
Right! They're going on a date tomorrow! Regina can't fucking wait. She hopes she can impress Janis by taking her on the world's best first date. She might need a plan. Fast. Luckily, Karen and Gretchen have been really good at stupidly romantic plans since they started dating a few months ago. She'll text them asking for tips as soon as she wakes up. 
“Good. See you in the morning?”
“You bet,” Janis says, pressing one last kiss on Regina's forehead and closing her eyes, allowing herself to drift off to sleep holding the girl she never thought she'd ever get.
Regina falls asleep feeling like the luckiest person alive. She won't waste this chance. She'll do everything in her power to make Janis feel just as lucky for as long as she can. 
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Hey so could you maybe do ellie with “I was all over her” by salvia Plath
I was all over her - (ellie williams x reader)
Hi anon! i tried a different format because im still trying to get used to how to write and stuff lol, also the song choice??? hello??? one of my favorite crying songs fr, i hope you enjoy <3
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This story is based off the song I was all over her by Salvia Palth! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)
Pairing: ellie x fem!reader
requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts
warnings: murder, angst, sadness, mommy issues
Summary: in which she wanted to be all over you
authors note: uni applications are open this month im so nervous that i wont get accepted... im stress writing bro
masterlist
The light was really bright, it hurt her eyes. Ellie hates bright lights.
The buzzing also bothered her.
"How can you be so bright and also make such an annoying sound at the same time?" she wondered as she stared at the lights on the roof.
It was cold in here too.
Fuck
it was really cold. She should've worn a jacket.
The room was plain too. There was just a table a few chairs.
Who decorated this place?
Ellie was snapped out if her judgmental thoughts when detective Miller walked into the room, and he sat across her.
"Do you know why you're here?" he asked coldly.
Ellie's handcuffs rattled as she sat up straight.
"I don't" she lied.
"Do you know y/n?" he suddenly asked.
Ellie's eyes widened slightly at the mention of your name. She knew you were. She knew you very well.
You guys were at the same party that night.
That night.
The night she wanted to forget so badly. But how could she? It was engraved into her mind.
She remembered everything.
"She's missing" he said.
"I know"
"I need you to be very honest with me. Do you know what happened to her?"
"No" Liar.
She knew what happened. She was the reason everything happened. She was already drowning in her own guilt.
Detective Miller leaned back into his chair and he let out a dramatic sigh. He knew Ellie knew something, he could sense it.
"Tell me what you remember from that night"
Her muscles tensed when she started telling the story.
"Don't know what I wanted, I have a memory"
Ellie walked into the party, and her nose scrunched up at the smell of weed. Wherever she looked there were people either smoking or drinking, or they were half naked and making out. The room was packed and there was barley space for her to walk.
Ellie hated small spaces, that's why she hated parties. The big crowds, the smells and liquids everywhere, she hated it.
She doesn't know why she was there.
She remembered finding you all alone and sitting at the top of the staircase. She remembered sitting next to you. She remembered how you looked at her.
She remembered, she remembered, she remembered, she remember-
"and then what happened" the detective asked her, bringing her out of her thoughts.
"I don't remember" she lied.
"People saw the two of you go into a room together. What happened in there?"
"Back at that party, I was all over her, We didn't make out or do anything, I just remember I was lonely"
You were so sweet. You were so nice and caring. You were the opposite of who she was.
What was a sweet thing like you doing at such a party?
She remembered how you told her that you enjoyed her company, and how you asked her to go somewhere private so the two of you could get to know each other better.
Lavender.
You smelled like lavender.
As she laid next to you on that bed listening to you ramble about why social media is bad for kids she realized how empty she felt.
You made her feel so full, so loved but when you went home she had no one. You guys didn't even have to do anything, as long as she is in your presence.
You made her happy. She needed to keep you. She needed to feel full.
She remembered you falling asleep, she remembered how peaceful you looked, she remembered how she got up and locked the door.
She remembered, she remembered, she remembered-
"Ellie" detective Miller called her. Ellie looked at him with a hum.
"Let's talk about your personal life"
He needed to dig deeper. He knew she was hiding something. He could tell.
"What do you want to know?" Ellie asked with caution.
"Tell me about your mom"
Oh.
"She left"
"I know she did, but do you remember anything about her?"
She let out a sigh, the handcuffs rattled and she realized that she was still being questioned.
She can't get soft now.
"My mom always made me feel like i was a problem, she made me feel... useless." She watched as he wrote down her words.
"Do you think she was right by calling you useless?" He asked, as if he cared. He didn't care, it was his job.
After a few seconds of silence Ellie answered: "I guess I am always, it's not a problem, it's just something, I got used to it"
Ellie locked the door and she slowly walked to where you lay. You looked so peaceful. She touched your hair gently. She wanted to remember you. Ellie took the pillow she was laying on a few seconds ago and she placed it on your face.
She remembered how you screamed, she remembered how you fought back, she remembered how you begged, she remembered her mother.
Her mother left, but you wont right? this way you'll stay with her right?
She remembered how her mom made her fell, she remembered how heartbroken she was.
she remembered, she remembered, she remembered-
"what did you do to her?" Miller asked.
Tears filled Ellies eyes "i killed her"
She just wanted to keep you. She wanted you to be with her. She wanted to be all over you.
The detective let out a sigh "Ellie Williams you're being arrested for murder"
<3
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pixelnrd · 9 days
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this isn’t a hate ask at all i just wanted to know why in such a long challenge with almost endless sims didn’t you ever consider doing a trans heir with all the recent updates ea added and entering more modern generations. of course it’s your own sims and you can do whatever you want with them, but since you touched other sensitive topics i just wanted your thoughts on this!! sending much love. ❤️
Hi anon. Even though your request is very polite, I can't help but feel like you are disappointed in me and feel that I have failed in being fully inclusive and representative, otherwise you wouldn't've sent this to me anonymously.
Firstly, I want to address the fact that Thelma, from the 1920s, was a non-binary character, and many readers see them as having a trans identity. I explored Thelma as a non-binary character because the desire to create their character as such came to me at the time.
I think perhaps you are disappoined that I have not had an overtly trans characer in the Langston Legacy. I haven't done this for many reasons, which I'm happy to be open about below:
Following the exploration of a persons trans identity formation and transition is not a story that I am interested in telling. I have said it before and I'll say it again - I do not feel well equipped to tell this story with the right nuance and sensitivity it requires; I do not have any lived experience to draw on to tell this story, nor do I have anyone whom I can ask. I do not want to open myself up to critique for getting it wrong, nor do I want to offend anyone. The weight of these pressures mean that I don't have any desire or motivation to create a character whose purpose is to experience gender dysphoria and transition.
The way I have developed characters through history in this Legacy has been to feed into stereotypes of each particular decade. This has been my primary focus for character development, and arguably that is characterisation at a superficial level. Focussing time and energy of character development on one characters transition journey does not fit in with this balance that I am trying to strike in this Legacy. That is not to say that there were not trans people throughout history. There were and I am very aware of this. But exploring a trans character did not come to me as a natural fit in the other stories and themes I was exploring in each decade of this challenge.
I don't believe that this medium (a Decades Challenge) is the right forum or medium for me to tell this kind of story. That's not to say the sims isn't a forum for exploring these stories, and I am sure there are heaps of great sims stories out there that do. But my story is not one of them. I can't please everyone all the time, and I can't canvass everything in this Legacy.
There are so many types of identities and cultures I have not touched with this Legacy. I just can't achieve that. You could just as easily tell me I have not done adequate representation because I have not had any Muslim sims when EA has added headcoverings to the game. I can't fit everything in. It's also not my goal to fit everything in.
Finally I'll finish with this - I haven't finished this Legacy yet. There is stuff to come. So I would really appreciate if everyone holds their horses before summarising and telling me what I missed out on including.
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ohbo-ohno · 1 year
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absolutely love the shock collar thing for ghoap x reader, especially post accident where they're both grovelling and super guilty for what happened because for once, neither one of them have nothing to use for punishing reader. that's all on them (Simon, mostly, but Johnny's just as guilty).
with that being said, I'd like to introduce this scenario:
maybe just a little bit of time passes. maybe they don't try to have outside time for a little while because reader absolutely detests the thought of the incident happening again since they lied to her the first time. not intentionally but she doesn't think otherwise because it wouldn't be the first time they made her break rules so that they can have an excuse to punish her and the "accident" as they said, might have been exactly that but this is worse because they lied to her face about it. so she doesn't want to give them any more excuses to hurt her again.
it actually gives her so much anxiety that it affects her way of thinking and the way she acts to the point where months go without her getting out of line. not once does she disobey them. not even giving just a little🤏 sarcasm in case one of them turns a complete 180 and goes apeshit on her. and at first, that's fine. it's what Simon might have wanted— complete obedience from his pet. but after a while, he starts to hate it because he can see that it's out of fear.
even when he tries to give her affection, that little flinch twists something in his dead heart. it's no better with Johnny either because she just receives his affection too with very little reaction. as if she's just going through the motions and waiting for it to end and not because she wants their affection.
they've been grovelling and trying to convince her that she's not in trouble for anything and trying to get her genuine reactions and trying to get her to be happy with them again, but anything they do is met with wide eyes, flinching, freezing or something else equally as negative.
but they don't know the extent of that fear until at dinner, one of them makes the mistake of mentioning outside time again and reader just... breaks down. like breaks into tears, hyperventilating and drops into fetal position (maybe even hide under the bed or in the closet) and begging them not to hurt her again because she's been a good girl like they wanted :(
and Simon has never hated himself more because he just wanted to see something other than fear in her eyes for once.
(is 🪐-anon taken? i feel like i'm going to frequent this area)
hey babe stay as long as you want! i will probably only grow more disturbed the longer i write. i didn't add a whole lot to this ask because honestly it stands really well on it's own, so tysm for sending it to me <3
i looved answering the shock collar asks, so fucked up and horrible in one of my favorite ways. that unintentional betrayal that can't taken back, their anger at your rightful distrust, you suddenly being totally averse to something you'd been begging for for weeks, oh it's all so horrible.
i really like the idea of reader becoming actively distressed when they want her to go outside again. she can't help but think they're going to trick her again, is determined to not allow that to happen under any circumstances. they didn't punish her past the shock last time, but who knows what they might do next time? no. it's simply not worth the risk
she doesn't really have a breakdown until simon calmly suggests they might force her outside if she keeps refusing - for her own health, he goes on, but she's already deep in the throes of panic by that point
it takes a long time for them to coax her into relaxing again, even longer for her to even look them in the eyes
simon doesn't mention forcing you outside again.
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