#like i need them to lose it
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Have you ever looked at an already unstable character and thought, "i need to see them get worse" or "i want to give you a hammer and watch you lose yourself to rage"
Like I'm gaining a love for "friendly" pet sociopath characters...I mean who wouldn't, but like, I need them to get worse, I need them snap and go feral
#what is wrong with me#annabel lee whitlock#Pah Doyeon#like i need them to lose it#it would be so funny#and cathartic#i need em to just drop the mask in a moment of pure unbridled rage#as a treat#ykwim#annabel lee nevermore#nevermore webtoon#love thy neighbor#i wanna see them insane disheveled and feral#i think they'd enjoy it#lenore vandernacht#lenore nevermore
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this shit is so funny
#emmrichs lichdom is antithetical to his character and is objectively the wrong choice#i’m not even sure how he passed the lich test because saving manfred is indicative of how he can’t handle lichdom because of the whole#outliving everyone he loves#and based on in game interactions and other notes the way emmrich reacts to losing manfred is regret#and there’s a note somewhere where a companion notices crying coming from emmrichs room#like how did he not fail the test like hezenkoss had because deep down he is still afraid of death#it’s now not his own death but now everyone around hims death#anyways#this game needs more bad endings and angst#let them suffer i want a TRUE bad ending#dav spoilers#spoilers#emmrich spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv#emmrich volkarin#dragon age: the veilguard#lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#also i feel like lucanis’s reaction is less ‘wtf’ and more sad because he also knows this sort of thing isn’t going to make emmrich#not afraid of death
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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alongside someone like you
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED#collapses dead#cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning#2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed#rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing#n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it#clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings#1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what#but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal#third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog#oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute#also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless#cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u#ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile
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cursed construction core hi vis bra that came to me in a dream
In the dream I saw it in the window display of a hardware/DIY/trade shop, implying it was meant to be a practical garment designed for actual female constructions workers in a Female Armour level missed-the-brief attempt at gender inclusion
The practical support from the visible underwire combined with the hi vis implying it’s not meant to be worn as an undergarment, I just-
I blame my binge-reading ND Stevenson’s gender comics talking abt masculinity and femininity incl the one abt Victoria’s Secret lingerie yesterday for this monstrosity x’D
#construction core#I am legitimately tempted to make this irl#just like as a commentary art piece on failed attempts at inclusion that completely missed the point#but alas I lack the booba these days to make it for myself so I'll need someone else to fit it to to enable my shenanigans#maybe someday#in the dream I met finnster in the next shop and was like dude you should go buy it for the meme lolll you could wear it on a stream#so uuuhhh- finn if you're reading this (I know you've seen my tumblr before we have video evidence) and you want this I'll make it for you#for manly man construction times#just let me know x'D#to the transmascs reading this: read the linked comics they're highly relatable#you can lose a whole morning to them#like me#have fun
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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Baby Teeth
Inspired by this post by @theheirofthesharingan
#i needed to draw them with missing baby teeth because we never see them with teeth missing even though they are right at the age#where they should be losing their itsy bitsy baby teeth#and itachi went to anbu like that#can you imagine#he was so glad that anbu had masks probably#naruto#naruto art#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#itachi#itachi uchiha#uchiha brothers#fan art#digital art#doodle#sketch
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Having this kink is so funny because You will have a crush on someone and think they are soooooo fucking hot and they will stand there and tell you that they are insecure about their body and you will have to do the equivalent of locking your brain in a straitjacket to formulate a response that sounds supportive and socially acceptable when the reality is that you would commit atrocities just to kiss their stomach ONCE. That, if given the opportunity, you would worship them like they were royalty. And you would do this in both a non-kinky way because you love them and think they are beautiful and wish that they could see themself the way you see them but also in the kinky way where it feels like there’s a feral dog inside of you that wants to sink it’s teeth into the softness of them and never let go. You have to stand there and think to yourself “you have no idea the things I would do to you. You have no idea just how desirable you are.” And it’s honestly unbearable !!!!!
#‘I need to lose weight :(‘ NO!!! YOU NEED TO LET ME MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE TO YOU!!!!#babygirl I will Pavlov self love into you in ways you’ve never imagined#wg text#soft feedism#idk does this make sense. the overwhelming urge to grab someone and shake them and be like#‘the fact that you have no idea what you do to me just by existing is so upsetting. I wish you could see you from my eyes.’
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you know what. i actually love that trying to talk to solas was the last thing varric did and it ended in complete failure. especially if you put it in the context of his feelings about anders. varric was so bitter every time he mentioned him because he could not stop him. he didn't even realize that anders was up to something and when it was too late he started to think of him as of someone who destroyed that fragile peace in kirkwall that actually never existed.
it adds layers to the way he felt about solas. he believed that time he could stop a friend who simply lost his way. because varric tethras can talk anyone out of anything, can't he? anders was just too dodgy and self-centred and cut everyone off just like solas did but this time varric is completely prepared. surely. absolutely.
he could have never talked anders out of it even if he had known what was coming. he could have never talked solas out of it either. anders was a desperate person standing against (as varric himself put it) forces he couldn't possibly defeat. solas was a god standing against a couple of mortals and his own conscience buried under his guilt and regrets. being a good friend would not stop meredith's oppression. being a good friend would not stop someone who fears so much that all of the atrocities he committed were for nothing and would mean nothing at the end. varric died because he didn't realize it. he died and left his second in command with an immense guilt because they believed he knew solas enough to pull that off and there's something tragic about it
#I love that anders-solas parallel. and can't shut up about it#oh to be so good at talking your way through anyting you convince yourself it's the only skill you need#and then lose one friend because you couldn't talk them out of it. you didn't have a chance really. otherwise it might've worked out#and then there's another friend who's up to some wild shit. but this time you know. this time you'll have a chance#because you had friends both among templars and mages in kirkwall. it should mean something. you know how to make everyone happy#unfortunately. you're not good at understanding that some people are not like you#that for some people there are things that matter more than you and your friendship. and they will not stop.#ah varric. your ability to make friends everywhere made so much things happen but also got you killed#I'm not comparing anders' and solas' causes btw. it's about how varric feels about his friends reaching the point of no return#varric tethras#anders#solas#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers
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my brain latched onto ratio in the span a day or two and i am. struggling with that. have a hsr magma dump about it.
these are in reverse chronological order so that it looks like i get more normal as the post goes on (it doesnt)
#i like these a lot im happy w how they turned out art has been fun lately n im trying to hold onto that feeling n keep it alive#bro my brain wont let me finish the fkn. piece i have that i wanted to get done n post n ive been meaningto revisit my pinned post n redo i#but im stuck in my b#fuck mobile tagging sucks ass fuck this omg#but im stuck in my head w my interests rn n theyre beating my ass im losing so bad damn interests got hands#i jsut remembered i was gonna give these some other bg colors than the usual gray we use for the magma canvases..... orz#honkai star rail#dr ratio#aventurine#problem w me is i neevr remember how i tag things n characters#so i have to check#n apperantly i do tag hsr w hsr in the beginning#hsr dr ratio#hsr aventurine#ratiorine#hsr blade#hsr firefly#hsr luka#welcome to my brain n my ...i forgor yhe word hold up. my .i my my idk process i feel like im losingit#my art#magma#i like the pjs one a lot a lot a lot. .... makes me unwell i need them cozy n happy help me#fuck theu got more shipnames#aventio#hsr golden ratio#theyve been gnawing away at my brain im doing. great
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#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#jax#tadc ragatha#ragatha#bunnydoll#I need to pathetically explain myself here and say this was just one of those go to bed thoughts I've had for a while.#It was an idea for the sake of daydreaming and I never intended to ever draw it but then it happened and I got carried away.#I'd honestly call this a bit of a un-headcanon lmao#None of us know at this point so any one of them could be close or not close to losing it.#Saying that I feel Jax seems like one of the more stable of the group and out of the both of them Ragatha is closer to abstraction if at al#But it's interesting to think if he actually isn't to some degree and there's more behind that grin I can't lie#And I wouldn't portray abstraction like this either I'd go about it differently. again just one of those fleeting throw-away thoughts#It ends ambiguously but you can decide what you want. I know how it ends.#I just got really into portraying the mood or cinematics without any dialogue.
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Tl;Dr - I stopped playing the game but I like the characters and I wanna draw them but idk if the wiki I use is up to date for cards
Do u know any wikis that have up to date cards for all the twst characters-
Asking specifically bc of Malleus cause I can't tell anymore if he has any more new cards bc HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A 100 DISNEY ANIVERSARY CARD IN THE WIKI I USE 😭
Like compared to everyone else in Disanomia, he has 12 cards (in the wiki I use) and then Lilia has 17 cards 💀
Cause I think Malleus has a Bean's Day card as well, but that could just be a fanmade one, I don't have JP twst nor ENG twst anymore so I can't confirm it myself urhghrhevw 🫠
Malleus doesn't have a Beans Day card, so that would've been fanmade! and the 100 anniversary cards are actually the new round of birthday cards, so most of the characters don't have 'em yet -- Malleus should be getting his in a couple of days, when his birthday event starts! oh god my keeeeeys
I think the wiki.gg stays pretty up to date? it looks to me like they have everything that's currently up through JP, at least. :O I did go through and do a quick count just because I couldn't believe Malleus only had 12 cards, but. he really does have the least...defeated only by Silver with 13...astonishing. we need his gargoyle club wear immediately.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#...maybe? tenuously? i have no idea#i think lilia and floyd are tied for the most at 18 each#twst loves the chaotic gremlins#granted card quantity is separate from card rarity/significance/whatever#i remember all of us losing our minds when vargas camp 2 came out and trey FINALLY got an event ssr after a million years#anyway i am looking forward to the upcoming magift cards and all don't get me wrong#but i am VERY VERY excited to see what the gargoyle club wear looks like#i NEED to 1) know what malleus thinks gargoyle fashion is and 2) see him in it#jade is also in a weird club by himself but at least that. y'know. has a gear theme and everything.#tangentially i do sometimes think about the fact that malleus and jade are both in single-member clubs#despite how in...i think lilia's robes story the music club was in danger of disbanding because they only had three members#although i do genuinely believe that crowley is too scared of both jade and malleus to tell them they can't have their clubs#so y'know. it tracks.
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i am not immune to transmascs in sweatpants and a sleeveless top
im rly fucking weak about it actually
#losing my mind rn#i still can't get over it#💀 i told him aksksksk the prog won buddy my boy my guy i can Not think straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i look at someone's upper back a little too long then i can't get them out of my head for 2 days is this how it is??!#(。ノω\。) i haven't seen him in a while im not used to how hot he actually is#which is funny bc i distinctly know what he looks like but u ever just see someone irl and you're like AAAAA THEY'RE HOT#⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡ hey ..#my friend how close ur sitting makes my heart feel like it's going to explode but I'm trying to be so cool about it#but also not really 🫠#not anymore!! 😭 i need to let u know
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I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#he’s so wonderful frfr#my poor boy is traumatized but still so proud of what they accomplished because they’re HEROES#what started as something fun - Saturday morning cartoon-like heroes vs villains esque - soon becomes his calling#and he loses himself a little along the way#because the world is TERRIFYING now#if they don’t do something about the bad things in the world then worse things will come#and Raph CARES too much to let it happen#even at the expense of his own happiness and youth#and he luckily reigns back that fear - knowing his family is there to keep an eye out with him#and he finally lets himself be a kid again#he’s very well rounded and his flaws are so good because (like the others) they are ALSO his strengths#I like how it’s softly implied that bears are his fav animal too bc that’s cute af#headcanon that he likes them so much because a stuffed bear was the first toy splinter managed to get Raph#but yeah one of my favorite things about tmnt is that the characters are well rounded and rottmnt exemplifies that immensely#with raph being no exception!!#amazing big brother and character#there’s a REASON in my tmnt main character tierlist he’s S tier!!!!#hot take but in terms of who should be leader I think it should be less who’s the better leader-#-and more who’s the better leader FOR THIS SPECIFIC MISSION#bc all four can be great leaders fight me on that#APRIL can as well 100%#doesn’t need a designated leader for them to succeed#they just need ~communication~#one of my favorite things tying Raph and Leo together is that they both *hide*#I’ve talked about Leo’s many masks a lot but Raph has one too#and it’s the mask of a hero - the mask of the protector
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓
I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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HELLO HANTENGU NATION (5 people)
I'VE MADE AN [unofficial] HEIGHT CHART FOR MYSELF
Hantengu: 5"5 (166cm) Sekido: 5"9 (175cm) Karaku: 5"9 (175cm) Urogi: 5"9 (175cm) Aizetsu: 5"9 (174cm) Zohakuten: 5"3 (160cm) Urami: 8"5 (257cm)
[little aftermath under the cut]
they're so annoying. peace is nonexistent... they're the best ever.
#null rot#cw blood#demon slayer amount of blood??#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#zohakuten#urami#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#FUCK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM#DO YOU SEE MY VISION?? THEY'RE SO ANNOYING IN MY MIND BUT ARE SO HOT GUY CODED.........#LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP PRETTY BOY#EVEN THE OLD ONE. i KNOW HE'S MAKING THE ELDERLY AND GILF HUNTERS ACT UP#OH MY GOD I NEED TO KEEP DRAWING THEY'RE LIKE SO FAMILY TO ME#BRO DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GET FUCKED OVER IF YOU ADD YOURSELF TO THE PICTURE??????#OH MY GOD JUST. JUST GIVE ME A FEW DAYS OF MY FUCK#also ignore how i posted on my 'cleaner' blog. that was a fuck up. ill be posting everything here#ANYWAY MY REASONING FOR MAKING AIZETSU SHORTER BUT A CENTIMETER IS CAUSE I BELIEVE HES THE HANTENGU THAT WAS STILL GROWING + ZO#ALSO APPARENTLY YOU LOSE AN INCH EVERY DECADE AFTER FOURTY??? SO HANTENGU IS TINY.... AND HUNCHED IN MY MIND#AND URAMI IS GARGANTUAN DID YOU EVEN SEE HIM NEXT TO TANJIRO BRO? HANTENGU IS TALLER THAN THAT KID BY AN INCH IM P SURE HES IM THE 8FT RANG#the three caballeros are his at prime time height cause they look like theyd be in their prime yk??#i used a converter for the cm so if something is fucked. no its not. trust me bro
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