#like i make enough original stuff but i just cant make myself post it here

[b1ttersweet-dreams]

been thinking of making a separate blog for either just my ocs, or like rambles, wips and sketches (for some reason cant bear to post any of them here). and like idk just pondering this thought inconclusively or should i just suddenly start posting it all here

[weirdmageddon]

the original post i want everyone to see is way out of my hands now, so i’ll repost this again here as new but separate post. it touches on things i want to go into more depth about.

@wasabikitcat gets this idea. this reply—thank you so much for not just understanding what i was going for, but putting my exact thoughts into cleaner words on the bad reading comprehension site.

i can't believe how misunderstood my point was about “spirituality” (i didn’t know it was that much of a loaded phrase!), but thank you for putting what i meant into more nuanced terms.

it's something that can be hard for me to put into words, and maybe i gave people the wrong impression by using the word "spirituality", since words mean different things to different people. i just haven't seen people discussing it so i wasn't sure how to really put it. but regardless of terminology, this reply is exactly what i'm getting at. and this is coming from someone who has a very scientific mind. i wouldnt even consider myself a traditionally “spiritual” person in the normal connotation of the word.

edit: this one as well!

i see this as a cultural/political factor that we shouldn’t ignore, because this sense of meaning has driven people's motivations since the beginning of human civilization.

there's a primal aspect that hasn't really left us but there seems to be no room for it in our modern culture because half of these “guides” seem to be driven by “i cant wait for civilization to collapse so MY ideology can rise from the ashes" and the other half of it seems to be driven by greed. and often they are hand in hand.

i would really like to see actual enlightening ideas stemming from buddhist thought, analytical psychology, collective unconscious, and archetypes to take off in the public consciousness. (completely divorced from jordan peterson. just the original jungian stuff)

i am especially supportive towards getting people interested in carl jung's works. his idea was to get people to understand, "what myth am i living?" based on the same archetypes and symbols that recur time and time again throughout human history that we can all collectively recognize regardless of culture. so it's a sense of meaning based in the self. i don't want people being sent down reactionary paths when looking for meaning in their lives.

i think it would benefit people to who feel lost especially in uncertain/unprecedented times like, with those “there's got to be more to this, something deeper,” insinct. i see that people are looking for this but get taken advantage of or manipulated.

but on this deeper sense of meaning in life thing, the Left isn't doing a great job at providing an option for “lost” people looking for meaning that the Right seems to be having no trouble with. i wonder if this is why we've seen so many of these lost young men flock to reactionary commentators?

this reminds me of an excellent point contrapoints made in her video about jordan peterson, saying,

“The last thing I like is that you talk about deep shit. I was watching a video where you and a couple of zany goons were talking about Plato and Aristotle and the meaning of life. And I thought, ‘Huh… on the Left, we don’t really talk about that kind of thing. All we talk about is how society oppresses people.’ And that might not be enough. Because people need to have a positive purpose in life. I mean, personally, I don’t give a shit. I’m pretty happy to sit here watching the same three seasons of Strangers with Candy until I die. But other people, like Dostoevsky, Camus, other white guys who talk about lobsters…they have this need to have purpose in the face of suffering, and like, not just complain about patriarchy. I guess it’s easier to not complain about patriarchy when patriarchy isn’t the thing that’s making you suffer. But I do think that an education that only teaches people about oppression is inadequate. We spend four years teaching undergraduates why capitalism is bad, and then we say, ‘Well, you’re educated now. Good luck getting a job under capitalism, bye!’ …And that really kind of sucks! But you know, I think that’s a point that can probably be made without comparing transgender activism to Stalin.”

speaking of her, this is a related post i wrote earlier on young men being radicalized and how to approach communication

and by the way, if you are interested in learning jungian psychology and want to see what it’s about, here are some resources to get you started:

i think the jung subreddit has a great collection of resources on its about page.

i highly recommend Demystifying Jungian Psychology to start. it’s meant for beginners. it is available in english and spanish. you can currently find the book in the comments section here. since sometimes these links lead to a 404, i don’t want to link directly to the google drive page. i want you to have a link to the original thread in case it gets broken.

[ermrats]

i want to see people to be talking about this panel in the promised neverland

tpn theory type stuff below cut

google search and stuff has gotten pretty bad so that might be why i'm struggling so much to find theories on this but omg it's a little frustrating because this is the coolest panel.

for anyone that doesn't remember, this was at the demon temple that showed them how to reach the seven walls.

there's one specific thing here that interests me the most, and it's the main reason i think this panel is so interesting, but there's so many other significant things to discuss here so i'll just get through some quickly.

at the top we see what i think is almost definitely the night and day, and the demon god. there're then lines pointing to the beginning of the evolution tree with the small bacteria-like first demons. i think this is telling us that the demon god is the originator of all of the demons. that's pretty huge?? i haven't heard anyone ever talk about that. i don't think this is far-fetched at all too. i strongly believe in this theory.

under the bacteria-like demons are these bipedal, horned, almost human-like demons. i'm less sure about what these are and i think this is more up for debate but i'm guessing these are a slightly evolved form of the first demons from eating lots of small things and slowly working their way a little up the food chain. with slight variations probably from slightly different diets.

under that, we see the demon evolution that we are familiar with.

they eat a fish, they become a fish-like demon. they eat a human, they become the familiar human-like demon. they eat bugs or other small wild creatures, they become the also familiar wild demon. (side note: we know humanoid demons also eat bugs alongside humans which is interesting. what unique affect to bugs have on them?)

it's showing us what the demons will evolve into after eating certain organisms. it all seems to align with what we know from normans research so far.

except for one thing. this is the thing that interests me more than anything else.

UNDER THE SNAKE CREATURE THERE'S JUST AN X.

WHY TF CANT THEY EAT SNAKES.

i don't think we ever get even a hint towards what this could mean in the manga.

gonna be real, i think even if i tried to look for patterns myself, i wouldn't know enough about biology to find much. i don't know much of anything about biology. i think the only thing i take away from this is that for some reason they can't eat snakes.

this stuff intrigues me so much and i just wish i could find more theories out there on this. rahhhh it's so cool. i just want an answer.

oh wait also what is this thing i dunno

honestly i can't make it out

anyway thanks for reading, i don't post about TPN but i just finished rereading all 20 volumes. i probably won't post about it again i just want to get this out

[the-s1lly-corner]

creepypastas of your choice being new parents (reader can be included or not, or the reader can BE the kid. either works)

Eyeless Jack, Slenderman, and Jeff as dads/dad figures

getting silly with it. last request in the inbox, might write some other stuff later today for myself but idk we'll see, admins feeling a little sleepy RAAAAAAH no real mentions of reader i think, just the characters being dads but there might be vague mentions of partners so you can imply that is reader. shrugs. i tend to write these notes before actually writing the post this was originally going to have laughing jack but then i got bummed out when i realized that jack would not make a good solo parent simply because hes too chaotic accidentally swapped from saying "the kid" to "you" midway through writing this but im too tired to fix it so uhuh im making it everyone elses problem/j

SLENDERMAN:

by default i think slenderman can be an okay dad and im purely basing this on the fact that i grew up on the 2010s era of the fandom where quotev quizzes and fics for the fandom were peak. i think in the beginning he would be a little lost, especially if hes going to be raising the kid alone. i mean hes a solitary creature that rarely connects with others, he knows knowing about raising a human child. and thats assuming the kid is even human. if he has a kid with a human reader, are they more human or more... creature..? are they a hybrid? how much of slendermans genetics carry over? can he even have children since admin personally thinks he was made by zalgo like all other demons in this timeline? many questions. protective and strict dad, makes sure the kid does their work and chores, but makes sure he doesnt raise a pushover... definitely hostile towards anyone who harasses the kid, be it bullying or generally just being a douchebag. i think if hes the sole parent he raises them in the woods and teaches them things himself. doesnt bother with putting the child through schooling, theyre a child of the woods now babey!!/hj

look at it this way the kid is really self sufficient and can survive in the wilderness for an extended period of time and they know how to kick butt, assuming they also grow up with his proxies. yeah.. thats going to be interesting... would they see them as uncles or as sibling or family friends? its anyones guess. bonus father figures!!

EYELESS JACK:

also does not know what hes doing. i think i wrote somewhere that jack would put the baby in a carrier and walk around with them in the woods. maybe even showing them different animals and plants even if he knows that the kid cant understand him. definitely a case where hes going to need someone else to help him, be it his partner if theyre still around, or someone else... naturally its going to be harder to find someone to help him if his partner is out of the picture for one reason or another. main reason because that jack is... oh you know, literal man eating demon who sometimes goes into blind feeding frenzies if he gets hungry enough + he tries to put off feeding for as long as possible because it literally means taking a life and he still has his humanity in there. not going to say it out right but i think you guys can put two and two together and understand why jack is wary about having a small child hanging around his cabin. also he wants the kid to be able to grow up around other people. its unlikely, since the other person is likely going to be another creepypasta character because any normal person would rat him out... but he might also want the kid to have a 'normal' upbringing. lots of feelings here for him. kind of like a tired dad, between juggling the child and the things going on with him is really going to do a number on him. giggling at the idea of him trying to get slender to help him esp since i hc they have weird territorial beef going on

JEFF THE KILLER:

actually has a decent grasp of how to treat them but thats because he had liu/was an older brother. the dynamic is less father child and more so older brother younger sibling. probably lets you have a fair amount of free reign; he doesnt really strike me as a strict guardian. probably forgets to pick you up from soccer practice/j ....actually wait no i can kind of see him actually doing that on accident. tries to make it up to you by giving you treats because he does kind of feel bad for leaving you behind. you remind him a lot of his brother. im still torn on whether or not liu is still alive in my silly au but imagine hes not and he kind of. tries to raise you good and treat you well to make up for everything that happened. jeff with some level of mental clarity after the height of everything hits me in a weird sad way i can quite describe. like dont get me wrong hes still the knife wielding dude hes usually written as, but hes a little.. just a tiny bit mellowed out. just a tad.. side note i fully blame the idea of jeff being remorseful over murdering liu from a fic that had a chokehold on me in middle school so oooo... you probably know/interact with ben through jeff since theyre good friends. jumping into my personal hc/au jeff carries ben around in a phone since bens usually confined to electronics and they grew up together. obviously jeff outgrows ben because. you know ghosts dont grow up. so imagine you start becoming best friends with ben and ben is just. SPILLING so much old stuff on jeff, mostly dumb stuff jeff did and him being a jackass. idk i just think thats funny. its like when you suddenly get dad lore but instead of getting it from your dad you get it from dads ghost best friend

[partywithoutsmiling]

do you have favourites aus or fics within the fandom?

Hello!

When it comes to AUs I am naturally more biased towards my own XD I don't have all the corners of Tumblr explored, so all my favourites are ones in the general sense (as in, I don't know their original creator)

I always like the ones where John Dory comes back to take care for Branch; another fun one is when it explores a different brother being captured by Velvet and Veneer (or even Poppy); Branch getting adopted by a different tribe is another fun one too!

I've seen AUs like Brotherhood!AU, Borrower!AU and Cult!Branch AU thrown around in the Trolls tag, but to be honest I had troubles finding more details in one coherent post, and all of them seem rather... dark? XD Tbh I am not really a fan of AUs where the Brozone bros come up as a villains or villain-adjacent pff

I definitelly have some fic favourites rn, though I read so many and several I didn't even bookmarked- but I will share the ones I like the most! (Some fics, while having a good idea and trying their best are kinda lacking in the execution, so I don't include those)

All of them are on AO3, so, in no particular order:,

No Strings Attached by Spritzy (Completed) Spritzy is fairly active Trolls fics writer, and I'd consider them a good one, so you will see their name again XD This fic is more a collection of oneshots, about whatever honestly; it's a mix of mostly World Tour related stuff

Fluffy Love by Spritzy (Completed) Again, sort of collection of oneshots, but hardcore Broppy XD The premise being that the Pop Trolls act more... wild? And have both fur, paws and tails (something I really enjoy myself pf) Spritzy seems to be adding to this fic sometimes, as it strikes their fancy, so it's always a pleasant surprise to see it pop up in my updated bookmarks!

Elapse by Dulltoned (Completed) A tiny fic that is about the Brozone brothers trying to coexist together and heal from their breakup XD it goes with various levels of success, and Branch is very much not coping pff

It Runs In The Family by Localamblogus (Completed) In addition to Floyd, Branch gets captured by Velvet and Veneer as well (JD at first tried to come up with ways to solve Floyd's capture on his own and Velvet got too tired of waiting and thus tried to lure in another brother with a fake letter) Looking for Branch, JD finally arrives in Pop Village- naturally, Poppy enlists herself to help, and is not impressed by the elder Brozone brothers as the adventure goes on XD

You Are Half Of Me Now by Localamblogus (Completed) Now THIS fic is probably my top favourite XD Set during the time where Creek betrayed Poppy and the rest of the Snack Pack, an attempt at escape fails spectacularly, causing Chef to notice Branch's lack of colours; now sepparated from the rest, even after the other trolls escape with Bridget's help, Poppy is determined to leave no troll behind. Includes fledgling Groppy/Broppy feels, and Cooper is Poppy's little adopted brother and the sibling feels are so real (A+ honestly), and Creek gets what he deserves XD Can't recommend this one enough.

Eldest and Youngest by TheMiraculousMat (Main Fic Completed) A collection, a classic 'JD returns to care for Branch'; a good execution of the concept and entertaining read, though I am now reading another fic (ongoing) that is able to execute this AU even better XD Still, I do recommend reading this one!

Clocks (Home Where I Wanted to Go) by Espionages (Incomplete) Another 'Branch Gets Captured' fic, but this time it's just poor him all alone in Velvet and Veneer's grasp; naturally, Poppy gets very concerned- and when a letter adressed to a Troll named 'Floyd' arrives, she makes it her business to find the recipient- and in the process finds out where Branch has gone. The fic itself sits on 17 chapters out of 18, and havent been updated for a month XD a shame, but here's hoping the final chapter will eventually get posted, cant do nothing but cross our fingers!

Breathe Again by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Incomplete) Possibly the only Human AU that you will see on this list (as I am not that big of a fan of those- it's hard for me to read a 'mundane' retelling with the characters, as they seem to lose most of their magical whimsy when people do that) but this is perhaps one AU that I am very invested into (it does help the writer is really excellent, and you will see more of their work on this list as well) The premise is that JD had been kicked out of the house by his parents when he was 18, and fought hard and legal battle to get his brothers in his custody. It is more complicated than that naturally, but this is the start, and the family feels are real- especially with baby Branch, who JD had no idea existed until a moment ago XD It currently sits at 6 chapters out of planned 8, and is being a part of a series, so hopefully more content for this AU will be coming!

I'm Still Here by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Main Fics Complete) A chunky 4-part fic series, where JD returns to get baby Branch after a brief stint in the Neverglades, and then takes him into the wilderness with him, figuring he can keep him more safe than if he stayed in the Troll Tree. Of course, tragedy strucks, and suddenly older and grey Branch appears in the new Troll Village, without his brother. I will leave it at that, but it's basically retelling of the Troll series with this little twist in narrative!

Smoke and Starlight by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Complete) Branch still deals with that nasty little voice in his head that is convinced all his brothers will leave him, but that doesn't stop him about inquiring about his parents, and JD is his best bet. This fic explores more about the brothers relationships and more about John Dory and his life in the past 20 years- it is very Brozone friendly fic and the family feels are of the charts, I definitelly recommend!

I'll Never Fall, Unless it's You I'm Falling For by Dinoo_Saur (Complete?) A series of oneshots, at this time only two of them, about fledgling Groppy/Broppy. I assume the writer will add to it eventually, once they feel inspired, but even those two that are here are good read!

Shattered Pieces by Icedarsha (Incomplete) Aftermath of TBT and the brothers are *baaad* at this whole brother thing XD really kinda fumbling all around, but we love them for it. The fic currently sits at 15 chapters, and haven't been updated since April 20th 2024, so we will see where the writer plans to take us

Everything Stays (Right Where You Left It) by Venusperia (Incomplete) Poor Poppy has been taken by Velvet and Veneer and she is NOT having a good time at all; in the meantime, Branch returns to his manic grey self, as he is forced to realize that he might have to try and find his brothers as the only way to shatter a diamond is Perfect Family Harmony- and sets out to do so, with Barb as his best buddy for the ride (and perhaps his handler, as Branch is just a trigger away from jumping his brothers' throats) This fic currently sits at 15 chapters, last updated April 22nd 2024- I feel kinda impatient for this one as Poppy is really having a shitty time, to the point she doesnt even fight to keep her optimism up, and Branch is just spiralling

I'll see you when I fall asleep by Idontsleepidaydream (Complete?) Series of mostly oneshots, set after events of TBT, explorations of Brozone relationship and feels, mostly focused on JD honestly, who has more issues that a rabid cat in a bag

Your Grace by Mrct (Incomplete) A series about how JD returned to the Troll Tree to care for Baby Branch, and when the Trolls made their triumphant escape, King Peppy perished in the effort. John, instinctivelly tucking little baby Poppy in his hair in the chaos of it all, suddenly gets stuck as acting regent, much to his confusion, unease and resignation XD It currently on has a 3-chapter long fic but I assume the writer plans to expand on it, which is why I recommend the series whole

I Wanna Find A Home by Isabel3710 (Incomplete) Grey little Branch decided that he is too much of a burden among the trolls of his own Tribe, and figures it is best to leave and find somewhere else to be a less of a bother. His feet leads him to the Lonesome Flats into the arms of young Delta Dawn, who cannot on good conscience allow this poor little trolling to struggle, even though he is probably a Pop Troll (And honestly, seeing the mess he is, all the better he left them and found the Country Tribe in her opinion) Currently sitting at 3 chapters, last updated at April 30th 2024, I cant honestly wait to see Branch find the family he deserves <3

Weightless by Sunfox (Incomplete) When Chef attacks, both Poppy and Peppy gets captured along with the Snack Pack, leaving the Pop Tribe leaderless. With contingency plans in motions, they decide to evacuate, but Sky Toronto knows he has to let Branch knows what happened- either in effort to convince him to come along or to know to stay put in his bunker. Branch instead decided he cannot on good conscience let any trolls get eaten and sets out to save Poppy and the rest from certain doom. Currently sitting at 2 out of 3 chapters planned, and last updated only few days ago, it is honestly more of a 'snack' than a full sized fic XD But I enjoy the exploration of the events

Birdie by TurnedWorm (Incomplete) Clay managed to happed upon grey Branch just as the Trolls were escaping through the tunnels and now reunited, off with the (future) Putt Putt trolls they go; fic that explores the very early struggles of survival of the sepparated tribe, while Clay tries to be the best guardian for Branch as well. Currently sitting at 3 chapters and sadly last updated in march, but hope is still holding that the writer will continue it XD

Torrent by ASamwich (Incomplete) Grey Branch is having a very bad time; nearly drowning in his bunker when storm caused his seals to break through and flood his lower levels, he is then found by concerned Poppy in the midst of battling a serious infection. With his bunker pretty much inhabitable right now and him being ill, he is forced to accept help and dragged kicking and screaming into friendship XD Currently sitting at 5 chapters and last updated at the beginning of April, it is one of those 'I hope it will get continued eventually' fics pff

Field of Forgetmenots by EmpressGeek (Incomplete) A planned series probably spanning multiple fic (the first one sitting at 4 chapters and complete), it explores a sudden growing sibling relationship between Grey Branch and Keith, a little oddball trolling who seems to be fitting badly among his peers. Very sweet with hint of trauma on Branch's part, and I am at the edge of my seat, waiting for more XD

Dereliction by Jellfish (Incomplete) This is, in my opinion, THE fic about John Dory returning to take care for Branch (After Rosiepuff's death and after the escape from the Troll Tree) Thinking he will find a happy little trolling, JD instead finds a little malnourished neglected scrappy thing, and is not only horrified and angry, but also terribly guilty about ever leaving. Currently sitting at 36 chapters and updated fairly regularly, I really cannot recommend this one enough!

Rewinding our Fate by Trollsbuzz (Incomplete) Perhaps the only time travel fic written with some style and quality that makes it readable XD It is rushing through the Broppy rather fast in my opinion, and some things feel a bit OOC, buuuut it's nothing major and it is enjoyable read! Currently sitting at 41 chapters and being updated fairly regularly, so here's hoping it will continue so!

Now, the remaining 3 Fanfic recommendations are all Anonymous and Incomplete (Sadly seems the authors didn't want to be associated with writing for Trolls franchise but oh well)

A Litte Winter Miracle Grey Branch suddenly and to his horror finds abandoned egg in the snow, and overcome with protective urges is unable to just pass it along to anyone else. Reconnecting with Kismet, he is slowly settling into his sudden parent role (in secret from most other Trolls, including Poppy and the Snack Pack). Adding to bit of feral behaviour from Branch, it makes for a very easy read- currently sitting at 24 chapters and last updated at April 26th, it is one I am really hoping that will continue XD

I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home Kid Grey Branch got accidentally mistaken for a rock tribe trolling by teenage Barb, and hauled of to the angler buses before anyone could even blink XD With a nice portrayal of autistic Branch, it's one of THE 'accidental sibling acquisitions', but Barb can't complain as she got the awesomest little brother out of the deal. Currently sitting at 14 chapters and last updated at April 24th, it gives me some hope it will continue XD

Stuck With You Instead of the whole Velvet and Veneer plotline, we get Cashmere, who strives to be a more of a Country Pop singing sensation- and John Dory and Delta Dawn happens to be her unfortunate victims. Featuring miserable John Dory who, after 20 years, doesnt hold much hopes that anyone would even care he is gone, and rather furious Delta Dawn who can't believe she got stuck with a Pop Troll and is determined to escape. Do I sense a future romance brewing...? (I sure hope so!) Currently at 3 chapters and last updated on May 1st, I am fairly optimistic this one is ongoing!

So those are my recommendations! Hopefully I did not mess up the links but you can always search for them manually XD

[the-flower32]

🌸Introduction!🌸

i just realized having a pinned info post would be a good idea so here;

Names: Flower32 or Magnolia

Pronouns: all

Fun facts: im an Enneagram 9w1, Mbiti is INFP-T, ❤️‍🩹&🌸are my fav emoji's, i used to be scared of fnaf as a kid, i was a gifted & talented art kid, i adore the mixture of comforting/cute & creepy, and while i was raised Christian i believe all religions have some truth to them- but i don't plan on posting much of that on here.

DNI: pro incest &/or pedo, Homophobic, Aphobic (including: acespec, arospec, aplspec, ect), anti-age/pet regression/dreaming, transphobic, xenophobic, racist, intent on starting discourse of any kind, Ableist, m-spec exclusionist, anti-contradictory labels, or anything adjacent! interact despite this & i will turn your kneecaps into painted stones to decorate my yard with 🥰

What I post:

I post my writing, art, thoughts, teasers for works, and reblog whatever I feel like. I have AuDHD & struggle with motivation on most things 🙃 Also: I do not make content targeted at kids, at best my work is pg14. So if you're 14 or younger- you can stay but be careful. I like talking about horror & real world issues as much as i like whimsical fun stuff.

I will always try to tag any triggering content. Please tell me if i missed something.

I also dislike cursing, so usually i'll phrase it like 'F*ck'. and if i reblog something with cussing/cursing in it i'll tag it with 'cw cussing' & 'cw cursing'.

What this Blog is for:

This blog (& any account i have) is meant to be entertaining, so unless it affects my work or i think its especially important i wont include much of my real life on here.

I tag all my reblogs with #reblog so if you only want to see original posts, filter out #reblog on your settings. (Explanation on how to do that here!)

Engaging with my work:

IDK if anything I make will be popular enough to warent fan works or shipping but just in case, heres what I am an am not ok with!

Not ok:

Throwing a temper tantrum over things like; certian characters not winding up in a romantic relationship, characters being lgbt+ or neurodivergent or some other minority, a slow update schedule, ect.

Being mean to others over what they ship/head cannon/ect.

Claiming complaints are criticism (idc if you don't like my work, but dont say that your complaints are legit criticism. those are 2 different things)

Threatening and Pressuring me to Update/Upload content

Hate consuming my stuff (if you dont like what i make, leave.)

Being mean to people who dont like my work (if they dont like it & arnt being mean, leave them alone. People are allowed to dislike stuff)

Throwing a temper tantrum if i decide to cancel a story or put it on the backburner. If my brain dosnt want to work on it, i litteraly cant make it without mental pain. I Do this for fun & for myself!

Ok:

Fanart/Fanfics/Fanworks of any kind, just tag your sh*t. (you write something with Smut? f*cking tag it as Smut, you make something with a certain ship in it? tag that ship, ect)

Questions of pure curiosity about my works, just be aware that some answers may be spoilers or you may have questions about things that I haven't thought bout (im not about to create an entire timeline for a fictional city)

Making oc's!

Headcannons!

And if i think of anything else, I'll add it.

Idk how you found me but i hope you enjoy my work! ❤️‍🩹

YouTube channel & Art profile account & Pronouns Page!

Lots of userboxes I know, i've rebloged all the people ive gotten these images from. I did not make them.

[actualbird]

Can I ask 74 and 75? I'm super curious!! -🔥

for this ask meme

74) You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

ohhh this is a fun one HAHA. i think my go-to writing style elements are: dialog heavy, internal monolog heavy, a lot of explanation about feelings and past happenings, SPARSE NARRATIVE DESCRIPTION LOL (i suck at it), and a shithead sense of humor. plus, if the fic is titled in all lowercase.

ive had people from past fandoms come across my newer fics without knowing it was me yet and they said they totally recognized my writing style. while i cant describe what exactly makes my style mine, it seems it's rather obvious to others and people would have no trouble guessing

-

75) What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?

ohhhh, you didnt specify a fanfic, dear fire!anon!! in that case, lemme just choose a fic myself HAHA.

for growing pains, one of my all time favorite fics ive ever written, the scene that took me the longest was this short snippet (short enough that it fits in one screencap omg) of giann after he finds marius in the basement

and the reason why it took me the longest wasnt because it was hard, no no. it took me the longest because first i wrote the scene, then i deleted LARGE CHUNKS OF IT.

this scene originally had wayyyy more going on in it. stuff like the bullies' reactions, giann and austin riding with marius in the ambulance, giann waiting by marius' bedside during his recovery, etc. but then i thought no no. no this scene doesnt need to have all that. what it needs to be is striking and dreadful, so i kept removing details until i got what you see now: just this short, horrible, full-of-fear snapshot. theres no reactions from people who dont matter, no and-then-after-that-here's-what-happened, theres just. giann holding his brother, begging for him to hold on

thanks so much for these asks :DDD

[snail-reverts]

[may 22, 2024]

yall i have been so hyperfixated on making a neocities website,,,, it consumed my entire brain yesterday and i ended up sitting at my computer for hours and hours and i missed asr and maghrib because i felt like i couldnt do anything else :))))) astagfirullah

when i hyperfixate, it feels like nothing else matters, not even basic stuff like eating or using the bathroom. i usually dont realize how much time has passed, and if i do, i cant get myself to care enough to stop

but then after a while, i finally got up and realized how awful i felt, like it was suddenly an extremely terrible depression, i couldnt remember what its like to have religious beliefs. it was scary because i dont want to leave islam behind, like ive done so many times before! but its like im suddenly an entirely different person with different beliefs (not really in a system way, i still identified as myself, but more just feeling very disconnected from all previous emotions)

but alhamdullilah, willow (another system member) co-fronted and got us to pray isha. it was immediately comforting and i felt my emotions and faith returning to me. then the next morning, it felt really easy to get up and pray fajr, which i usually struggle with.

i know this may be obvious, but i think thats the whole point of salah being obligatory. like, even when we dont feel like it, when we have no motivation or faith, we're still urged to do our prayers, and thats like the anchor that grounds us. sometimes it feels like a burden, but its honestly really nice to have dedicated parts of the day where we can just reflect and be grateful. (also fajr has helped fix my sleep schedule SO MUCH, omg i love waking up early)

,,, i originally started writing this post so i could share the neocities site, but i ended up writing a whole essay lmao. anyway here's the site (theres still a lot of things i want to add but im proud of it so far)

[daydark4k]

Going on a bit of a rant here about some problems ive noticed about bootwt.

I feel like it's become increasingly exhausting to be in this community, and ill explain why because i have left it behind.

A lot amazing work has been done by the community to make it a safer space for minorities, but in a way this has put the community on a pedestal. It feel like everyone is expected to be an activist or they are a bad person nobody wants around. 

There's a huge difference in being an ally, and an activist. An ally is someone that will speak against shit when they come across it, do their best to educate themself, stand behind people in every way they can.

An activist goes a step further and seeks out ways to make change. Organizing charity events, going out of their way to educate others, uplift voices and being constantly posting about issues as they come out. Taking on the problems of others is not an easy thing mentally especially if you have your own issues.

Are you a bad person for not making a twitter post when some shitty cc says a stupid thing again? Bigotry is constantly happening and will continue, no matter what the community is like. But, if you were to watch the news, get overwhelmed and have to turn it off instead of tweeting about it, you wouldnt be a bad person right? The victim on the news could have their entire life changed by a tramatic event and you cant even have the decency to watch and give your empathy?

There's this overwhelming crushing expectation in this community of being an activist or else you dont belong. If you dont post wishing a happy holiday, happy heritage month, your deep supportfor the people that were discriminated against, then you dont care. People do it like its a checklist. it's not enough to simply care silently. It feels very performative as an outsider. It's always makes me feel so awful for watching ranboo and wanting to be a part of the community. The guilt is horrible. But if im not kept up with all the bad parts of it, im not doing it right.

There is also ableism. If you are uneducated or make a mistake speaking over minorities because of social issues you might experience, even if you try to be better it's held against you forever. These mistakes are valid and wrong. It's very important to have the attitude to improve yourself and see your mistake. As long as you are trying, why do people feel the need to kick you out of your safe space? I am not active on social media but i have seen this happen to many in the community.

I just hope for a space away from the hell i deal with. I just want to see and share silly art.

It's absolutely amazing the efforts of bootwt to make a good place for everyone. People work so hard and im grateful and amazed at what they have done. Racists should be bullied away. Ignorant people who do microaggressions but are willing to be educated and be better should be educated. Jumping people does not help anyone, help people realize their mistakes.

I hope the community continues the amazing work they have been doing. But lessen up on the expectations of others to also be activists like them. Communities are made up of all kinds of people. Everyone wants different things, some people need an escape from constant negativity. We should try to get along, point out each others mistakes and become better. Not put the community on the highest pedestal expecting everyone to be the same.

I hope this doesn’t come across like im a bigot trying to justify myself. I was really scared to post this but if I’m the only one who feels this is a problem just ignore me

i originally wasn't going to respond to this, but i want to break down some of this and explain it because i feel like i know what you're trying to say, but there's a lot of stuff in here that is misconstrued.

"It feel like everyone is expected to be an activist or they are a bad person nobody wants around"

you are not a bad person if you aren't an activist! i hope no one feels obligated to always be on the front lines fighting with people to make change. ranboo's community in the recent months has been one of the most active communities i've been in when it comes to rooting out bad people and making sure they know they're not welcome. if you feel unwelcome, why? you say it's because you don't want to be an activist. you don't have to be! but sending support and love to people who need it isn't activism. being educated and constantly evaluating yourself and your biases isn't activism. that's a part of living in the world we were born into that's entrenched in horrible bigotry that's been taught and ingrained since birth. ignoring these things doesn't make them go away, and the least you can do is acknowledge it and work to not continue the cycle of pain that so many minorities are subjected to. You say the community is supposed to be a safe place. how is it supposed to be safe if there are people who get away with saying and doing horrible things? its not enough to not be racist, ableist, antisemitic, sexist, homo/transphobic etc. you have to be anti- all of these things, and have a genuine love for the people who are affected.

if you feel like these things are too much emotionally for you, you are more than welcome to step away. no one expects anyone to be on the internet 24/7 or to always engage in the negative topics. hell, i've stopped talking about certain ccs and stopped constantly criticizing their actions because i know they wont change. i recognized it isn't healthy for me and there's no point to it. but when it comes to support, to making sure that everyone knows that bigotry isn't welcome, that is a very important aspect of a community. that's the DEFINITION of what a community is! and, if those of us who have followings and have thousands of people who look to us as a reflection of ranboo, don't do these things? how does that look from the outside? at this point it doesn't even correlate to ranboo anymore. me wanting people in bootwt to be educated and respectful people doesn't exist only in the online community, it exists in real life too. i want others to be aware of the impact they have on others. I would think that any fan of ranboo's would want that too, considering its one of the biggest things ranboo advocates for his fans. to be good people.

you correlated being an ally and being an activist, and you said that "An ally is someone that will speak against shit when they come across it, do their best to educate themself, stand behind people in every way they can." is that not what the community has constantly asked for? that's all minorities are asking for. you just described the community! then you say "There's this overwhelming crushing expectation in this community of being an activist or else you dont belong. If you dont post wishing a happy holiday, happy heritage month, your deep support for the people that were discriminated against, then you dont care." isnt that just being an ally, by your definition???? wishing people happy holidays to respect their culture and important days, and standing behind people who have experienced discrimination so they know they are loved and those hurtful things aren't welcome here? if you miss something or are late, that's normal! even if you after the fact say "hey, sorry i missed it but happy x hope your day was well" maybe one person will see it and will feel seen.

"it's not enough to simply care silently." im going to be completely honest. no. no its not. its not enough because being silent ALLOWS bigotry to exist. im going to link this article i researched specifically for this post, because it explains how silent racism works and is ingrained in our society

"It feels very performative as an outsider. It's always makes me feel so awful for watching ranboo and wanting to be a part of the community. The guilt is horrible. But if im not kept up with all the bad parts of it, im not doing it right."

no one expects anyone to always be caught up on which new cc was racist. we want people to be able to recognize bigotry and uplift the people who are hurt. to say, both online and in real life, when its safe: "hey, that wasnt cool, that hurts people." you shouldnt feel bad for wanting to be apart of the community. people are allowed to want to be apart of it. its a fun place to be sometimes! but also, people are allowed to distance themselves and not forgive some of the bad things they experienced.

"There is also ableism. If you are uneducated or make a mistake speaking over minorities because of social issues you might experience, even if you try to be better it's held against you forever. These mistakes are valid and wrong. It's very important to have the attitude to improve yourself and see your mistake. As long as you are trying, why do people feel the need to kick you out of your safe space? I am not active on social media but i have seen this happen to many in the community."

i do agree with you on this one. I don't like how the internet holds grudges. people aren't allowed to change and things they did are always held against them. BUT. on the other hand, if you have hurt people, those victims are not obligated to forgive you. this is a balance that isn't easily achieved in a large community, much less so on the internet. these are things that happen in all communities and its not fair sometimes.

at the end of the day. if you don't want to be an activist, then don't be. if you only want to see art and funny bits, mute terms. the more that these things are discussed and called out however, the easier its going to make it for the future. i don't think its fair to blame hurt people for making you feel bad about yourself. that's something you need to reflect on yourself and recognize why you feel that way, whether it be guilt or ignorance.

im not gonna be responding on this any further, go ham in the comments with thoughts if you want

have a nice day!

[pancakeke]

I wrote a bunch of paragraphs about nothing in particular again so here it is under a readmore so it doesn't take up space.

like 8 years ago when people used tumblr more via desktop browser than its app, I put a 3rd party metric tracker in my desktop theme that logged how people were referred to my blog. it also captured what pages of my blog people viewed.

at one point during this time I reblogged a piece of pixel art from a japanese artist. they came to my blog through their activity page, and then searched my blog in a couple different ways for the terms "ドット" and "ドット絵" ("dot" and "dot art", as in pixel art). I checked those search urls myself to see if they found anything but there were no results because I never used those terms or specifically tagged pixel art in any other way.

ever since then I've made an effort to tag all pixel art I reblog with the term "pixel art". that artist was probably hoping to find more art to check out and it bums me out that my tagging system wasn't thorough enough to help.

this is why I have my current specific tag system lol. it keeps evolving but having the ability to find stuff you're into without jumping through hoops is really handy. (the site-wide post and tag searches return sooo much bullshit. it's a slog sifting through thr noise whenever I use those to fill my queue due to the sheer amount of manga caps, polls, liveblogs, personal posts, and fics posted without readmores...)

if only the way to view all tags you've ever used still worked. I think it caps at 500 or 1000 now and is also chronological so the first 500 or whatever tags you ever used show up in the list. then there's a hard stop and it does not update as you delete posts or use that mass tag editor to remove certain tags for your blog entirely.

I went through my used tag list earlier this year to unify certain tags and remove tags that I stopped using in favor for other ones, but I only got like 400 tagged terms down the list. maybe downloading my blog data would show more. the trick I mentioned uses your desktop blog's archive page. the tags are in its code so you can use "inspect element" to view it. I remember scrolling a lot to load a bunch of posts on the page but cant remember if this was required or I just did it to see if I could access more tags.

it's formatted all fucked and hard to manage but you can copy and paste the long chunk of tags into one cell of a spreadsheet and then use Data options to split them into columns by commas (or whatever punctuation separates them, I forget). a wide list is a huge pain to view so from there you can click on a cell containing data, click ctrl+a to highlight all data in thr row, copy, then paste special as "transposed" to turn the copied row 90° so it pastes as a column. the spreadsheet will wide as fuck from the hundreds of columns so honestly its easier to paste the transposed data into a new tab and delete the original vs clicking in the column to the left of your transposed data and then pressing ctrl+ shift+right arrow to select all rows to the right, then deleting the extra rows.

if you're in Excel you may have to use the "delete rows" option from the "home" tab and then save the sheet using "file > save" (do NOT save via the save button on the upper left corner or ctrl+s). this returns the sheet to a manageable size for scrolling (plus reduces its file size). this piece of shit software usually retains the sheet width/length even after you delete hundreds of columns/rows unless you use this trick of deleting specifically via home tab + saving specifically through the save menu.

I got a round number of tags when I did this which makes me think there's a cutoff.

[archaic-grey]

an apology? kind of?

okay . wow. so! i recently made a post asking why a lot of jasico shippers were adults and it kind of . blew up in my face. a bit. and a lot of people made some very good points!! so i am going to address all of it cause i'd feel bad just. ignoring it? and also to explain a bit of my internal thoughts relating to . all of it. just for more clarity.

so. i think the biggest issue people had with what i was saying was that i was uncomfortable with adults shipping minor characters. that has not changed. that is still something that is a bit weird to me. however, that wasn't me trying to outright imply they were pedos????? that is. a very serious accusation and not something i would throw around lightly, especially in this context. like. i get why you would think that. but that was in no way what i was trying to say there. its just something that is weird to me. & im sorry that i wasn't clear enough while expressing that.

i am a minor, which is probably evident by now, and adults in fandom spaces are FINE. i will always support their right to interact with the fans of medias they enjoy. while i personally don't really feel comfortable with them interacting with me, esp in the context of shipping, i am fine with their existence. they can do whatever they want within reason obviously.

also, my intent with my original post was in NO WAY to start discourse or arguments or make anyone feel attacked or uncomfortable. it was just a phenomenon i had noticed and wanted to make like . a bit of a joke about. i seriously did not expect this many people to see it & react the way they did. however i get why you all got defensive, i would have felt the same if i was in your place.

some people seemed almost confused as to why i thought all jasico shippers were adults. um . again that phrasing was mostly a joke. but clearly i do not interact with you guys that much & most of the jasico shippers i have interacted with have been adults . so yk. i generalized you guys a bit. which was entirely my fault & has to do with my own flaws and issues that i am working on. and i am sorry !!!!!!!

to continue on with how my own flaws & issues have impacted this whole . situation: i like having reasons for things. i like it when people can explain their reasoning behind things and i like to be able to explain why i feel a certain way or had a certain opinion so like . idk i guess part of why i cant let myself just not like jasico is because of that. cause nothing is Wrong with jasico. and i know that, so i don't understand why i don't like it??? so like . im trying to find reasons and stuff to explain it to myself and others. if that makes sense??? its like . a really shitty explanation but i am genuinely sorry that my own issues resulted in this whole mess.

anyways . hope that sufficiently gave a bit of explanation for this whole thing? i would like to politely ask that anyone who wishes to continue discussing this either send me an ask or pm me, i don't really want to start any more drama or anything in my reblogs haha.

and once again, i'm really sorry. i'll be deleting my original posts in a couple hours just because this is stressing me out a bit & i don't want them to continue to be a breeding ground for discourse.

thank you all!

(will be tagging everyone who has reblogged or commented here just so they can see this. apologies if you are uncomfortable with being tagged in discourse.)

@paddooo @i-am-triple-a @elvirie @evergardenwall @iamonlyatiger @via-rant @my-apollo-gies (love your username btw) @hammyletto @seulgishaku @jinxed-lemon @decemebercircus @yonemurishiroku

[astranauticus]

ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

[flowerpotmage]

⭐️

TELL ME ABOUT ONE OF UR STORIES PLS

OK so like im assuming this is for one of my fics right bc my dumbass cant remember the deets of that post i reblogged

but like I'm assuming most of us here know my Aemond x reader series fic, The Ledan? I already know at least one person I'm gonna kill in that one. Like much later on though, bc I know I already killed someone "off screen," so to speak.

I'm also finding myself doing a shocking amount of original character stuff? Like they're from canon houses, and I've researched their positions in the Dance etc etc, but there are enough unnamed individuals that I can kinda make up whatever I like. Lady [redacted] for example is one to watch out for. I'm just not entirely sure how her motivations are going to play out, because while I know what they are, I don't know how far she's willing to take it. But I do know it's going to kinda fuck with Ledan Dail.

Which also like, I'm still on the fence with whether or not I want to go back and edit what I have to make it an original character series instead of a reader series. It's one thing to do a gender neutral reader, but I think that maybe a series about an explicitly nonbinary reader from Essos and specializing in spirituality miiiight be a little niche for this fandom and in my head they are their own Solid Person that I just so happening to be writing about in second person.

OOH speaking of The Ledan and spirituality, in the fic there's mention of "Others," which are referring not to the ones referred to in GoT but their own thing unique to the culture of Irrasser. They're more akin to Old Gods, or even fae. As Irrasser is a culture of ancestor veneration, they tend to focus more of their praise and attention and energy on their ancestors than on deities and spirits. The 'Others" is a broad catchall for entities that are not ancestors, but one I'm not sure if there will be opportunity to explore. Depends if it comes up organically or not. I assume at some point Aemond and Ledan Dail will have a lovely little heart to heart about beliefs though, so maybe then!

[pappycat89]

Rambling about my homebrew D&D world, possible long post

So, i've been working on a homebrew world for D&D for a couple of years now, but work on it has been frightfully slow. This didn't bother me, because i've mostly been playing rather then running games. This whole time though, its been chugging along in the back of my mind, collecting thoughts and collating like the giant plastic patch in the ocean; grabbing ideas that fit it and holding on, floating aimlessly through my thoughts.

What does that mean for my world? well, every time I go back to it its changed somewhat. Often times its not a lot, and its mostly worldbuilding stuff rather then plot (my main weakness tbh), but what that means is i often have to change my mental map of the place to fit in these new ideas. Which just means when i want to work on the world but cant get the gears turning properly i make maps of the world. Which really do show how the world changes and evolves, while keeping at least some things similar

The first is the original design, based of sketches i did (and then remade with Inkarnate (link)). This was my first real attempt at making a map, and tbh was bad. I wanted a mega-continent with a central location that acted like a spoke-and-hub system. Then, as i got better at making maps, i redrew the world and made the second one. I still wanted a big continent, but i needed it broken up more then it was. I also love the idea of a huge, natural bay that makes its own contained world.

Then, recently, i came back to the world (a friend asked about it, so naturally i adhd spiralled back in) and i remade the world. This time, i felt that i neeed a lot mroe space. I wanted alarge variety of biomes with a more natural flow to them, while also keeping some of the fantasy aspects (its a magical world, geology can bow to my whims)

Im very happy with this latest map, though i still struggle with placing biomes. I want it to feel natural, but i just dont really understand the dynamics enough yet. I also find myself far too tempted to say "fuck it, its magical" and do whatever i want.

The next step is figuring out kingdoms. Originally the world had 5, and a free city-state, but with this expansion i feel like 5 kingdoms arent enough, or at least they need to be a lot bigger then i had planned. This also means i have to figure out socio- and geo-political stuff for the kingdoms (something which i have also struggled with)

anyways, i'll wrap this up here, because its getting long and i could talk about this for ages. If anything here has spiked anyones interest, please ask me questions or tell me about your own homebrew stuff.

[cranileinternetbox]

How my LudumDare 54 game ended up looking :) I guess i will make a little bit of a post-mortem about it lol. The concept was this: instead of being the classic rpg game where you smash enemies and get loot, other people smash the enemies and you take the goodies for them, because you are their backpack, is a little bit of a ¿cynical? idea i had about how the world of some games would actually work, like if you didnt had a huge inventory space, and you could only carry a bunch of weapons and potion without hindering your movement, who would actually carry the loot? Well if you have a party you can ask some member to move stuff around, but asking your tank or healer doesnt make any sense, since they need to participate on the fight, so you go and recruit someone with no fight or support skills, and make them the backpack carry, i am not sure if i got that kind of feeling out of my game, but hey i tried and it was actually pretty fun, now with the actual game stuff. For starters im pretty happy with the end result, it wasnt exactly as i originally thought about it but i think it ended up close enough. I decided to use all assets for the graphics, since im not a good artist and it would take too much of the 72hrs to make all by myself, but i think it was actually a good idea, since the game ended up looking good and i could use all my time for the gameplay and systems, apart from that the game ended up being really easy, the enemies attacks are pretty easy to dodge and you cant even tell that there is like 4 different attacks with special debuffs applied to them, i should have made different attack parents so you can tell them appart and so you also have a little bit of variation, maybe some of the could cover a wider area or focus on hitting way back where you could usually just sit and cheese all encounters. The inventory system also proved a challenge to add some extra cool mechanics, so, there is 2 types of items, normal and cursed, my idea for cursed items was pretty simple, you have a risk taking them (like not being able to move them once saved or them poking holes thru your bag, so you will drop items on accident) but in the end i couldnt implement the hole thing for some bad decisions i took at the beggining of the project, so its not really a challenge to pickup most items and just win. Also the game lacks any type of sound wich i feel makes it less engaging. Im thinking on maybe re-taking the idea on a more 3d ,first person, dungeon crawler type of game and see what happends there.

If you have read this far, thanks! What do you think about my base concept? have i been inside too much? should i maybe touch some grass? Anyways if you want to try the game you can do it here

[hanasnx]

hi mina. my sweet sweet valentine minaaa <3 oh my god i have to say something:

this reblog is one of the most thoughtful, sweetest, kindest things ive ever read. genuinely it is my favorite thing to hear about what worked within a fic. considering i've written my entire life, i consider my own work with very high regard and hold myself to a standard when i write a piece and this one was one of my favorites. to hear that you daydreamed about THTM is insanely flattering (i do hope your grade is not suffering bcos of me)

"Only one person could do a worthy sequel to such masterpiece." when c+p this line into here to respond to, i was actually moved to tears. i remember when someone originally asked me if i were to do a sequel to THTM (around when it first was posted) i had told them that i couldn't even begin to conceptualize something that could ome close to it. i had spent so long on that original fic, and im so glad i did considering its my most popular anakin/dv piece. i'm very protective of it, and the fact this measured up speaks volumes to me and moves me in a way i can't articulate

"Knowing that they love when people highlight their favorite parts of their fics, I shall deliver." i do indeed. genuinely my favorite thing ever is when people pick apart what lines elicited a reaction from them. god and you delivered oh my god you delivered. what a wonderful wonderful gift

when you pointed out the part in one of the beginning scenes where anakin leans down to hear reader and back up to look her in the eys to respond..thats one of my favorite actions in the piece. ugh. god.

your petition for me to write a piece about anakin overcharging you for something you cant pay for so youre forced to pay him back with your body... i will take it under consideration. lord knows ive already got some ideas on it and have had it floating around in my head since i wrote that line

both this: "Indy, my love, you know I'm a sucker for a good blowjob and the fact that you consistently insert that fascination for dick in each piece you write make me the happiest ever. I'm so thankful for your mind." and this: "UGH ONE MORE ELEMENT I LOVE FROM YOUR WRITING. I've never seen anyone describe a making out session like this. [about sucking on a tongue like sucking on dick]" had me fucking grinning. i love writing those details bcos im such a dick rider irl i love dicks in the right context and i also love sucking on tongue like im sucking dick i swearrr

"Okay, let me practice: dadd-" this made me laugh hard

i love that you referenced my humping drabble bcos i love that piece so much and i too loveee humping goddd i love it sm

the one quote you loved enough to make the text bigger and just write a sentence about how much you loved it ugh!!! that is the shit mina!!!! this is so amazing i fucking love this !!!!

the two quotes about him calling you his hole and fucking it til you cry,,, and then the one about turning you off so he could fuck an even tighter hole.. those were prolly my two favorite lines and i love that you picked them out

"Indy, now you are not only writing the stuff I want to read, BUT ALSO writing the stuff I didn't even know I wanted." this. is. the. best. news. i love introducing ppl to shit oh my fucking god.

"[about anakins arm veins popping out while he finger fucks] I felt this in the very core of my clit. Like a fucking gunshot." this line had me in fucking stitches both times i read it i was laughing and doubling over no lie its so fucking funny im laughing about it still while writing about it

"INDY GIVING ME EXACTLY WHAT I NEED." this is what i like to hear. this too: "Indy, you've done it again. Planting the seed of yet another kink in my mind."

i loved your obsessive rant. i loved it so much i had to respond to your comments bcos i needed you to know a little bit about how much i love and appreciate it. your input is always always enjoyed and encouraged and youve thoroughly stroked my ego im so vain this was like christmas morning. thank you, i cant thank you enough really, for reading and enjoying my work. saying its one of the best things youve ever read is high fucking praise and i dont accept that compliment lightly, i really appreciate your kind words. reach out to me on discord at any time, seriously. you could stop talking to me for years and still reach out to me on discord randomly ill never be mad. thank you again.

❝𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐞❞

anakin skywalker x fem!reader

prompt: supplied by @xstarkillerx | masterlist

summary: after a market mishap, anakin gives you a more personal lesson in how to speak his native language.

MINORS DNI 18+

word count: 3k | character(s): anakin skywalker

notes:

semi-inspired by my past work “talk huttese to me” but it is not required reading to understand this piece.

warnings: size difference, anakin lowkey babying you and then degrading the fuck out of you, you know a little huttese, anakin gets a little degraded too, vag fingering, some choking (f receiving), anakin being a mean sadist, overstimulation, squirting, anakin’s exhibits his piss kink interest, dacryphilia, edging, dumbification, no use of y/n i think

“Keep up.” Anakin chastises you, and you obey, increasing your pace to meet his monstrous strides, struggling to maintain his speed. “I want to make this quick.” 

“I don’t know if I know enough—“ you protest, glancing at your feet to avoid tripping over the rippled sand. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, you’ve been doing well.” he insists, his hand instinctively guiding you by the small of your back. “I’ll be right behind you.” The day breeze is warm, but it’s Anakin’s touch that burns you. Timidly responding with a complacent confirmation despite your doubts. 

Open-aired bodegas line the street, merchants with goods to sell wait for willing customers. Anakin had warned you about the demographic of Tatooine, but you’d expected far meaner appearances. Bashful still, your gaze turns to Anakin uneasily, who greets you with his kind eyes, and uncharacteristic patience. 

“Yes?” he says softly, and you feel like retreating into his arms. 

“What are we looking for again?” your tone, feathery light, causes your lover to lend his ear to you so as to hear you over the rustle of passersby. You repeat yourself, shyer than before in response to his abrupt proximity. 

He maintains that closeness, retracting only to look into your eyes. “An aeromagnifier.” A pause, so he adds, “Do you remember how to say it?” 

In this moment, you feel ashamed to admit how much you like when he babies you like this. “Yes, yes, I remember.” 

“Alright, this way.” His metal hand hooks around your waist, and you approach a man at his seat. Out of the options, he seemed the sleaziest by far, which did not assuage your nerves. “Go on,” he encourages in a whisper so only you can hear it, allowing you to step forward without him. 

The vendor notices you, and immediately turns on the artificial charm. A wide, toothy and yellowed grin, peering at you with his enlarged red eyes through bifocals attached to his head in meticulous machinery. “Hello, welcome, welcome,” he says in a rasp, and you can smell the cigarette he smoked prior to this engagement. 

“Hi,” The only formal greeting you know in Huttese, and you pray it suffices for proper engagement. 

“Ah, the little lady speaks my language. Should’ve known. Little lady, what can I do for you? What are you looking for?” 

You glance back at Anakin, who goads you with a chastening expression. As if to say that you can’t back out now. You pivot your attention back to the merchant clasping his gold-ringed fingers in anticipation. 

“Perhaps, the lady does not know what she searches for…?” he trails off, awaiting you to finish the sentence for him.

“No, no. I know what to do.” you reply, but is it to convince you or him? Your knowledge in Huttese is limited to predictable small talk and basic commands. You’re trying to keep it as simple as possible, and luckily he talks slow enough for you to understand him, repeating lots of words that help your context clues. “I need an aeromagnifier. The one there-'' You point to its location. “There.” 

“Yes, yes, this one, this one. I see.” The vendor recedes to the back of his shop, shaded by his canopy hanging overhead, and retrieves it, bringing it to the light to present it to you. He gestures to it with a tantalizing flutter of his fingers down its figure. “Good taste, good taste. This one, little lady, is two-fifty. Two-fifty nothing less.” 

“Two-fifty?” 

“Two-fifty, two-fifty. Nothing more, nothing less. Two-fifty.” 

“That… um, I don’t understand.”

The merchant lets his act slip marginally, enough for you to note it, but only to decide he must’ve enacted his contempt because of your unreasonable phrasing. You’re floundering, you must be. “What’s there to not understand? How do you not understand?” 

“No two-fifty. Too much?” Suddenly, your knowledge of Huttese is dissipating out of fear. Unable to properly convey your disagreement when the price isn’t what you thought it’d be. 

“‘Too much’—? How ‘too much’—?” 

The conversation makes your hands sweat, wondering if you did something wrong. No sooner do you turn to search for Anakin’s help when he meets the vendor at the table, at the ready for your rescue. When he interjects, you barely keep up to how quickly they talk. 

“Choy tay saka ‘ton-sin’? Mi wat do suzun nawee eet raun, kung. Ton-sin’d do karkin’ moocha. Soong wanga—“ You get every other word, something about being a thief, “to steal” specifically. You furrow your brows, attempting your best to follow the discussion. 

“Wanga-threnten!” The merchant declares, holding his finger up to Anakin’s face, who promptly pushes it out of his way. 

“Tagwa, deetso eff chuba noah moocha. Wanga mo noah, sleemo.” Decisive as always, Anakin silences his opponent with his confidence. From what you gathered, Anakin gave him an ultimatum. The price as one, instead of two-fifty. 

The vendor, reluctantly, concedes with a flapping of his hand to signal to Anakin to calm down. Dramatizing the situation because Anakin had been atypically placid the entire exchange. The way he took control of the situation and forced someone to yield so determinately, had you rubbing your legs together. You’re addicted to this personification he takes on when he speaks his native language. 

Anakin turns his attention to you, and you jump in place when he addresses you, having been too entranced to realize your own presence. “Go ahead and pay him, baby.” He eyes you through his brows, softening his voice, “Did you get all that?” 

“Just one, right?” you confirm, collecting five wupiupi pieces to give to the grumbling merchant. 

As Anakin guides you away with the aeromagnifier in possession, you hear a phrase you could never mistake. “E chu ta!” the vendor calls after the two of you. ‘Fuck you!’ he’d said. 

Anakin hollers over his shoulder, “Chuba ta, maya punchee.” You too, weak-minded friend.

You chuckle to yourself. 

“Should’ve known they’d try to take advantage of me. I mean, the guy talked to me like I was stupid- and I was actually grateful for it.” you relay to Anakin, wryly grinning about the ordeal as you wash your hair. Suds pouring down the column of your neck to trail around your naked body. Wiping soap from your eyes, you open them to gauge your lover’s reaction. There’s a smile on his face you cannot place, whether it’s endearment, or meant to be demeaning, you didn’t know. 

“I would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t. Pretty little thing like you?” he teased, moistening his lips and advancing on you playfully. You absorbed his subtle bump, curbing your instinct to scold him since you like when he talks down to you. “I would’ve tried to take advantage of you too.” 

A comfortable silence follows while you stare up at him with stars in your dilated pupils, hot water rinsing your hair. He holds your gaze faithfully, and you break it before you lose yourself in him. “I thought I did pretty good.” you praise yourself to change the subject from the idea of Anakin having his way with you, from the fantasy that he’d overcharge you for a product and when you can’t pay your way out you sell your body to him instead. Showering together makes you go crazy sometimes. “Speaking it, I mean.”

“You did.” he concurred verbally, but his tone conveyed another layer. His large hands cup your hips, guiding you to the side so he can have his turn under the faucet. You raise a brow at him. “You could do better though.” His challenge jellies your legs. You watch, like a lovesick fool, as he tips his head back into the water, and comes to, shaking his curls out. Droplets draw down his herculean form. Ever since he saved you from the market— as silly as it was— you could not stop thinking about fucking him. 

“Oh, yeah?” You fall into his trap. 

“Your pronunciation is too polished. If you don’t sound like a local, people won’t treat you like one. They’ll treat you like a sucker.” 

Much like that vendor today. As soon as Anakin stepped in, he backed off. Remembering how assertive Anakin was is all too much. You’re about ready to get on your knees and start blowing him like a real sucker would. 

Anakin sensed your frenzied need for him as soon as the two of you had left the market. Your desire is no secret. Certainly not one you can keep from him. 

“Alright, so what do I change?” 

“I’ll show you. Hear what I say,” he tells you and you swallow hard, mouth drying up. “At eeptuk schutta hagwa non che chee’toosa.” he says, and you practically melt. “Now, say it back to me.” 

Obediently, you parrot it back to him. There was one distinct word you're sure you’ve heard before.

No sooner had you finished your sentence than his palm cupped your chin, tucking it into the web of his thumb. The tips of his fingers press into your cheeks, pursing your lips for you. “Say it again,” He emphasizes his command by pinching further, a sting in your buccal. “At-“ You listen intently, the phonetic arrangement teaching you to put your tongue behind your teeth when pronouncing the “T” at the end. 

“At-“

“Eep-tuk-“

“Ee—“ you stifle a giggle at your positioning, worried you’ll earn yourself a reprimand from your stoic teacher. “E- eept—“ You dissolve into your laughter, and a loving grin breaks out onto Anakin’s face, contrasting his demanding nature from before. He draws you in by his clutch of your cheeks, kissing on your puckered lips over and over again until his hold loosens enough for you to escape it. “No, don’t distract me!” you plead, “I can do it! Ee… Eep-tuuk—“ Your weak dissent of your hands against his chest does nothing to dissuade him. He chases you, and envelopes you in his arms, sliding your wet naked bodies together as he captures your mouth. He wastes no time in prying your lips open, inviting his tongue in to explore all it can. 

It’s a wonder you didn’t notice how heavy his cock lay against your leg until he humps you with it clumsily, searching for some comforting friction after witnessing your attempt at immersing yourself in his culture. 

Habitually, you withdraw to make room for yourself, enclosing your lips around his tongue to suck on it and bob your head as if you’re giving him oral. Usually, such a thing coaxes a whimper out of him, a desperate beg to put that gifted mouth to use on his cock. Instead, it only heightens his desire for you, to have you as quickly as possible. He slams you against the cold tiling, stealing the breath from your lungs, freeing his mouth to plant sloppy, open kisses onto your cheek and down your neck. Anywhere within his reach is mouthed passionately, tongued as if it’s not a mundane part of you but your very core itself. Your eyes roll into the back of your head once he meets with your pulse point, propped up by his body against yours. “Ani…“ He hums in response to the call of his name, admitting his approval for it with a bite into your flesh. “What did you say earlier?” you exhale, palms outlined the dips in his muscle. 

“In Huttese?” he speaks against your skin and it tickles you, pinching your head into your shoulder, his damp curls brushing your jawline. “‘This little whore can’t do a thing for herself.’” 

“Fuck you, would you really have me say that?” 

“Tell that to your puppy eyes. Begging me to save you as soon as shit got tough. My poor baby, so pitiful,” 

As if to discipline him, you shove him, but he remains undeterred. There’s no need to make fun of you for needing help, besides he’d volunteered before you even asked. There’s plenty you can do on your own, without him. You can be independent. 

You don’t get a chance to defend yourself as he maneuvers you to arch your back, his mouth traveling to consume your collarbones and upper chest as he bends over you, thick arms behind you to secure you. “Gimme those tits, baby, wanna swallow them.” he demands from you in Huttese, but this time you’re able to understand the gist of what he’s saying. 

“Maker, Anakin, you’re so gross.” you tell him, but as you suspect, he grins in response. His teeth scrape against you, and he does as he promised. Lapping at your nipple as if seeking it out to latch, to suckle. Your hands slide into his hair, sighing out as he imbibes as much of the fat he can. “Ani—“ you whine, wiggling your hips to chase any friction you can afford. 

Swiftly, he answers you, with his large hand cupping your mound, soothing it with slow circles. You press yourself into his grasp, rolling your hips. It earns you a sharp bite to your sensitive bud and you yelp. To exhibit patience, you let him explore your pussy as he sees fit. Fingers dipping into its wells, circling your folds and flicking up against your clit every so lightly. “Such a pretty thing. My hole, you know that? My hole.” The key words are lost on you. “Gonna fuck this little hole til it’s red and swollen. Til you cry.” 

You whimper, regardless if you can’t understand him, and he sticks a single finger in, only to pull out to stretch you with two. 

“How fucking tight can you get? Almost wanna turn you off so I can make it tighter. You’d let me do it too.” He licks water off of you, up the valley of your breasts, and takes your lips in a passionate kiss, scissoring you open so he can swallow the noises you make. Experimentally, he massages your insides, his thumb brushing your clit every so often as he pistons deeper inside. Your curiosity is killing you enough to break the kiss. 

“What the hell are you saying to me right now, Anakin?” you breathe, slumping against the wall while he fingers you. Why the hell did it work so well on you? Immediately soaking when you know he’s talking dirty in a language you can’t translate quick enough. 

“If you keep up with your lessons, you’ll know one day,” he promises. Instinctively, you shy away, pivoting your head as you squeeze your eyes shut, nearing your release. To counter that behavior, Anakin heightens and uses his free hand to clutch your neck, redirecting your attention to where it belongs. On him. “Don’t be stupid.” This insult you know. 

You frown at him, but as soon as your gaze lands on him, he speeds up, curling his fingers in a way that has you reeling. Your favorite spot, erasing all of your offense in a motion. Worsening when he sneaks in another finger.

“Oh? What are you gonna do about it?” 

You can barely keep your eyes open, staring at him through thick lashes because it’s what he wants. His grip squeezes, and it enhances your pleasure, tingles spreading throughout your entire body. 

“Can’t pretend you hate it. Can’t lie to me, can’t hide from me.” His admonishing tone only adds to how the coil in your belly winds, the heat in between your legs desperate to go somewhere, anywhere. He leans into you, burying his nose in your cheek as he talks shit in your ear. ”You’re gonna say it for me one more time,” he demands, and you stifle your wail of despair. How he teeters you, so close to where you need to be, and takes it from you at the last second. “At eeptuk schutta hagwa non che chee’toosa. Do you understand?” 

“Ani, I can’t—“ There’s not a possibility, how could you think let alone speak? 

“You can.” He leaves no room for argument, his teeth biting down onto your earlobe to tug on it. “Don’t tell me you’re this fucking dumb and all I’m using is my fucking hand.” 

“Fuck,” you curse in the language, which earns you a snicker from him, his breath against you sending shivers down your spine. “Okay— ah! Okay… Uh,” 

Your walls clench around him, signaling your impending release. Reading them like a book, he keeps you right where he wants you. A damn near painful experience, and he knows it. 

He recoils so he can see your pretty face, jutting his chin. Bragging about his competence when he’s the one unaffected. “At-“ 

Idling for too long earns you a hard press of your clit and you mewl. Hastily, you manage, “At-“

“Eeptuk-“ 

“Eeptook—“ 

“Baby.” he lowers his voice, fit to scold you. “Do you want to cum or not?”

“I do, I fucking do, please.”

“Then do as I say.” He commands it of you as if it is so simple! His thumb traces your jawline soothingly, but his grip stays firm. 

“Eeptuk,” you flinch, worried that if you’d pronounced wrong like before you’d receive some sort of punishment. “schutta-“ The word you most recognize. Slut. His favorite pet-name for you whenever he was persuaded to speak his native tongue. Keen on tripping you up, he increased his pace, and out of the corner of your eye you witness how swollen his arm has become from this workout. Veins popping out. It fucked you up. “Hagwa non che-“

“Chee’toosa. Right, baby? Almost done.”

Your eyes burn, red in the face out of frustration. “Chee’toosa.” 

“That’s right. Like I said, ‘this little whore can’t do a thing for herself.’” If you had the energy, you’d fight him on it. Unfortunately you’re spent, the only reason you’re upright is his body weight. He’s right, all you wanted from him is what he can give you. 

Unintelligible noises spill from you, rocking into his hand movements, but this time he lets you. His intense eyes hold your gaze unapologetically, waiting to feast on your orgasm. 

“Does a brat like you really deserve to cum? Should leave you like this.” Weakly, you shake your head, on the verge of crying from his cruelty if he really put you through all that just to steal it from you. You’re at your edge. There isn’t anything in the world you crave more than finishing right now. His thumb works into your clit, getting you to reach that breaking point, attaining it. You cry out, your orgasm crashing through you beginning from the tips of your toes, crawling up your spine. The fact he can bring you to this using only a hand awes you. You brace yourself on him, clawing into his bicep. 

He doesn’t stop there. An overstimulation already setting in from how heartlessly his rough fingers glide in and out of you, unbothered to let you recuperate. How he takes your pleasure for himself. You’re fucking his hand, but he’s feeding off of you, playing with your parts for his own fascination. 

Your throat is released, causing your vision to haze, and he hooks his hand under your knee, hiking your leg up. Your cum drips from his palm, but he’s still going, regardless of your protests. “You wanted this, c’mon,” Your pussy feels raw, yet he probes it, and when he pinches the sensitive flesh between his fingers, tears prick the corners of your eyes. “Are you about to piss? Fuck, you really are a little slut. You’re about to squirt all over me, huh?” 

“Anakin!” 

“Do it, go on. Can’t believe how disgusting you are. Don’t worry, I’ll make you clean it up with your tongue afterwards.” 

It stings how he fucks with your bladder, readying that most sacred attribute. Not everyone can squirt, but you can, and Anakin fucking loves it. Enough to pull it from you whenever he wants. You don’t need to know Huttese to get what he’s trying to do to you right now. 

“Yeah, you like that, whore? You wanna lap up your piss from my legs? Suck it off my dick? Here it comes, get ready.” 

You keen, the floodgates finally opening to spray your dirty fluids all over your lover. Hot and wet, running down your thighs. The act itself, the intensity, causes you to choke back sobs. Anakin lets your leg drop, and gingerly he tugs his digits from their wedge inside you. Flattening his hand against your sex, soothing it with a light massage. He bites his lip, holding back his smile as you try to hide your tears from him. “Too much, baby?” 

“You are such an asshole.” you speak Huttese, with perfect pronunciation. It gets him to laugh, drawing you to him so he can lick your salty tears away, and help you clean up in the shower.