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sunnyrinusstudies · 4 years ago

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Going FOSS: An Intro to Open-Source software for studyblr (and also some privacy related bits)

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Intro & attempt at TLDR

Hey everyone! Today I’d like to tell y’all something about Open Source Software, and also Why this should matter to you! This’ll probably be the first post of a series I intend to do, because I believe the Studyblr community, even the non-nerd folks, could really benefit from switching some things out in their digital environment. Since this is a long post, I attempted to summarise it below, please do read on if you have the spoons tho!

TLDR?

FOSS stands for “Free and Open Source Software” the “free” part doesn’t necessarily mean it’s free as in free pizza, but mostly means free as in freedom.

There’s a humongous amount of variants on this concept, but the core of FOSS specifically is the four freedoms:

1. To run the program however you want and for whatever you want

2. To study how the program works and to change it in whatever way you want

3. To be able to share it with whomever you feel like

4. To be able to share your modified version with whomever you want

There’s a whole host of software licenses built around these concepts, you can check those out at the Open Source Initiative website, or at Choose A License. Both have a good summary of what they all stand for.

Open Source software is used for a lot of products, nearly every single webserver is an Apache Linux server, Google chrome is built on top of their open source chromium (google is still the devil, but y’know, it’s an example), and even deep deep down, Apple computers run on top of a Linux Kernel. Many more can be listed, but I won’t do that otherwise this isn’t a TLDR anymore.

Now, Why is this important for you? The Open Source Initiative summed it up real nicely already, but heres a short paraphrase:

Control & Security. If software is open source then you can check if it really works the way it does, and to make sure it’s not spying on you. Even if you don’t have the skills for it, someone else who does will be able to check. Also if you don’t like how something works in a program, then you’ll be able to change it or find someone else’s changed version that you like more.

Training. People who want to learn programming can use the code to see what makes programs tick, as well as use it as a guide for their own projects.

Stability. Because everything’s out in the open, that means someone else can take up maintaining a project or make a successor of it, in case the original developers suddenly quit working on it. This is especially important when it’s software that’s absolutely critical for certain tasks.

Community. It’s not just one program. It’s a lot of people working together to make, test, use, and promote a project they really love. Lots of projects end up with a dedicated fanbase that helps support the developers in continuing to work on the software.

I’d like to add one more tho: Privacy, which ties in a lot with the security part. Nowadays with protests going on and everything being online due to the pandemic, folks have been and will be confronted much more with the impact of privacy, and lack thereof. Open Source software means that if any company or group tries to spy on you, then you and anyone who feels like checking, will be able to know and take action on it. Here’s the EFF page on privacy and why it should matter to you

If that got your attention then read on past the readmore button! Or, if nothing else maybe check out the Free and Open Source Software portal on Wikipedia? Or maybe the resources page of the Open Source Initiative?

Terminology: Let’s get that out of the way first

Open Source: The source code that a program is made up of is freely accessible, anyone can look at it and check whether it works well enough or to make sure it doesn’t spy on you.

FOSS: Free and Open Source Software. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need to pay for it, it’s free as in freedom and free speech, not free pizza.

There are four freedoms associated with FOSS:

The freedom to run the program as you wish, for any purpose (freedom 0).

The freedom to study how the program works, and change it so it does your computing as you wish (freedom 1). Access to the source code is a precondition for this.

The freedom to redistribute copies so you can help others (freedom 2).

The freedom to distribute copies of your modified versions to others (freedom 3).

By doing this you can give the whole community a chance to benefit from your changes. Access to the source code is a precondition for this.

FLOSS: Free and Libre Open Source Software. This time it is “free” as in free pizza. The “libre” is french for “free” as in freedom.

GRATIS: Sometimes people use this word to mean “free” as in free pizza. Usually alongside “FOSS”

Licenses : A license is something that tells others what they can or cannot do with your code. Licenses also apply to art and literature, those are copyright licenses. There are many different software licenses and I’m not going to be able to list them all.

The biggest players however are:

Apache License 2.0

The 3-Clause BSD License

GNU General Public License (also known as GPL)

MIT License

Mozilla Public License 2.0

There’s even more and you can find a list of them Here on the Open Source Initiative site There’s so many licenses that there’s even a Choose A License site, where you can pick a license depending on what you want it to achieve

Who and/or what even uses open source software?

You don’t need to be some nerd to benefit from Open Source software, in fact, you’re using open source software right now! The biggest example is the whole entire internet. Websites are stored on servers, and nearly every single webserver is a Linux server. The second biggest browser Firefox is open source, and even google chrome is built on top of “chromium” an open source base. If you dont use an iPhone, then you’re probably on an Android phone. Guess what? Android is part of the Android Open Source Project, which is then built upon a GNU/Linux base. All Open Source. Chromebooks? Built on top of a Linux kernel (like a non-patented engine you could put into any motor vehicle you’d like). Heck, even Apple computers are, at their core, built on top of a Linux kernel.

Neat apps you may wanna check out!

I’ve made a little list of apps that might be especially useful for studyblr folks, but depending on how well this post does I’ll probably make some more posts for specific apps.

TiddlyWiki, has a bajillion different ways to organise your thoughts, and also a lot of variant builds out there. Check out their table of contents if you feel lost! There’s versions available for most big browsers, as well as windows, linux, mac, android, and iOS.

AnyType, is an app that looks and almost exactly like notion, but is much more decentralised. They’re currently still in development but if you want to support them, sign up for early access and give them some feedback so they know what works and doesn’t! They’re still in closed alpha, but are intending to give beta access to about 100 folks at a time throughout 2021, so please sign up if this looks interesting to you!

Trilium Notes, is slightly more like a “notebook”, however you can arrange your notes in nearly infinitely deep folders. You can use things like Relation Maps & Link Maps to visualise your notes and how they go together. There’s even more they do and I just cant list it all, so go check out their stuff for a more comprehensive overview! Works on windows, linux, and (unsupported) mac

LibreOffice and ONLYOFFICE are two office suites that function just as well as micro$oft office, often Even Better in my experience. I’ve used LibreOffice for years now and honestly? never going back. OnlyOffice is technically free (as in pizza), but it’s a slight hassle to get everything set up, cause you need to set it up on a server. They have a paid and hosted version available with educational discounts, but honestly i’d go with LibreOffice.

OnePile, is an app I haven’t used myself since it only runs on Apple stuff. But I’ve heard a lot of good things about it so that’s why it’s in here. It looks like it works similar to most general “note taking notebook” apps. Looks really pretty too honestly.

EtherPad, is similar to ONLYOFFICE, however this one’s a lot more focused on specifically text documents. Works with real-time collaboration which is really neat.

Anything that FramaSoft has going on. They’re a non-profit organisation, dedicated to promoting digital freedom. A lot of open source cloud related things are not really useful to people who don’t have the time and/or money to set up a whole-ass server. That’s where FramaSoft comes in, they do it for you. Just about everything they offer (here’s a full overview) are free (as in free pizza). They also have a separate site to help you get started!

It’s not free to run it all on their side, so if you find yourself interested in using their services please try to support them any way you monetarily can! (they even have a “minetest” server (not minecraft, deeeefinitely not minecraft))

Joplin!! Which is also what I used to write this post so I wouldn’t have to use The Tumble’s post writing thing. It’s good for taking notes, has a bunch of neat plug-ins, and can also sync with a variety of cloud services!

Nextcloud For if you want to go just that little bit further on the open source and the privacy. Nextcloud has honestly way too many features for me to list, but the important parts are that it’s a nigh perfect replacement for office365, and probably even GSuite. The one caveat is that you either gotta host it yourself, or get someone else to host it for you. Framasoft (mentioned above), has a nextcloud instance. It works on just about every single platform, and can integrate with an absurd amount of services. Here’s a list of providers that work with nextcloud, and what different apps they have installed on their server.

I personally use Disroot, because they’re a local (as in, my country) non-profit that offer about 2gb of free storage, and then for about 15 cents per GB per month you can get more storage if you want. They also have an email service which is hella neat. Their one main rule is Do Not Use For Business Purposes, because they’re here to help the individual folks, not companies.

Neat Links you may also want to look at!

Here are some sources, and also resources that I used for this post. There’s also some stuff here that I think folks may be interested in in general.

General Wikipedia Article on Open Source Software

The Free and Open Source Software portal on Wikipedia

Resources page of the Open Source Initiative

Free Software Foundation definition of “free software”

itsfoss page on what FOSS means

itsfoss page on the history of FOSS

Open Source Software Foundation list of projects and apps they really like

Open Source Initiative on “the open source way”, and how it goes beyond software

Check out literally anything the Electronic Frontier Foundation has going on maybe?

TED talk on privacy and why it’s important

The Surveillance Self Defense project by the EFF

This EFF page on privacy for students

ExpressVPN article on privacy (not necessarily endorsing this company, just a good article)

What’s next?

I’ll probably make some more posts on specific kinds of software that I think folks may like. Or maybe a general overview on the more privacy forcused reasons and solutions for doing all of this.

Future post ideas, none of these are set in stone:

Open source Note taking apps

Replacements for just about Every Single google service I can think of

My personal setup

Open source / privacy conscious social media that studyblr folks may be into

Chatting, Calling, Videocalling: Discord and whatsapp alternatives etc

??? More studyblr apps that could do with a FOSS alternative??

How to support open source when you’re not a big fudgin nerd

How to be better at digital privacy and security, while still maintaining that studyblr aesthetic

Apps, software, other stuff, for specific areas of study maybe?

Feel free to suggest other ideas! Or leave feedback! This is my first big resource post so I wanna know if/how I can do better when I make another one!

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bringingglory · 4 years ago

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@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

#lmao i just realized i titled the fic 'the lelda of zelda: breath of the weath' bc of a meme i saw at the time of making the google doc #also this is completely unimportant but im normally a past tense kind of gal #so it was a bit of an experiment writing in present tense for this #i might end up switching to past tense again later anyway aksjdfhasd #anyway thank you again for the ask <3 #eerna #asks

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roleplayerconfessions · 3 years ago

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Okay, hi this is the writer of 689718481492574208 and 689720977149607936689718481492574208 again, I don't want to respond to anyone directly in the comments on my blog because I don't want any kind of harassment or anything and I don't intend to be like harsh on anyone, but this is the last thing I'm saying on the matter. This is in regard to the comments on 689720977149607936689718481492574208.

Yes an rper is someone who rps but its never been about how much or how often someone rps. Back when I was a kid rping was often as stupid and simple as AIM / MSN convos where you would occasionally write something like this to your friend: Character A: *pokes character B*

This was silly, no pressure fun which is what rp should be at the end of the day, no matter how much more in depth people (such as myself) have personally chosen to go with it. Writing lots and constantly are not specified as requirements because rp is a hobby not a job. There is no such thing as a professional rper. Everyone is an armature and the beauty of rp is it should not be held to any special standard. Its something people do in their free time when they have desire to do so and there are all different styles and genres of rp that suit different people.

Yes there are some people who really take rp seriously and thats your prerogative, you're within your right to cultivate a more 'serious' space for rp but you gotta understand that the public / indie rpc cannot be held to your personal standard. I would recommend joining group rps if you want a "stricter" environment and want to hold people to certain muses and levels of activity. Groups tend to have activity checks and auditions and stuff to prevent people from picking up muses they don't have time to write / are not suited for but I suspect a majority of the indie rpc are not in groups bc ultimately they don't like being held to the standards they really don't mind holding others to.

Some people don't have as much free time or inspo as others. It doesn't make them not an rper because you visit one of their blogs and don't feel like they're posting enough writing for you to consider them an rper. Some of my blogs have no current writing / threads on them, a few of them just have a couple ooc posts/hcs and gif sets, these blogs would be considered by the "standards" of some of you as not "rp blogs" and I wouldn't be able to call myself an rper.

But little would you know I have multiple blogs, I have had muses on tumblr for over ten years, I am admittedly less active now I'm older and a lot of my muses have gone through "rebooted" blogs due to age and some have much more writing and threads than others. But just because my blog for X doesn't have a lot on it doesn't mean my blog for Y wont and that because my X blog doesn't have a lot there doesn't mean I cant call myself an rper or that I don't plan to rp on that blog eventually. It may be in two weeks, it may be in two months, it may be in two years. I don't know. But you have absolutely no way to know how much a mun of any blog is writing because you're only privy to a really tiny potion of their online time / space on tumblr. They could have multiple other blogs and could write more on other sites, etc. I have a lot of mutuals who would be considered "muse droppers" by these standards because their blogs have more gifs and whatever than rp threads but a lot of them rp very actively on discord. I also know a lot of people who started rp blogs here on tumblr but found it more relaxed to run rp accounts on twitter instead, as another example. They rp actively there, but dont rp on their tumblrs.

My original response listed a few reasons why some rpers become discouraged from or abandon their blogs soon after making them. Becoming discouraged, overwhelmed or intimidated by rp communities here on tumblr and therefore not getting to write any or as much as they may of planned doesn't make people not rpers. Trying to turn rp into this super serious thing, or at least feeding the mentality that does push for rp to be this serious job-like thing where rpers have to meet certain criteria of how many ic things they're posting on their tumblr blogs to satisfy certain followers sucks all the fun out of rp and drives people away.

If a blog you follow isn't meeting your criteria you should have known in the first place and given the big lot of nothing they were apparently doing (As indicated by people saying they don't do anything but post gifs and were only there for a week / didn't post anything ic in that week) you really had no reason to feel like you lost anything or had any incentive to feel like they owed you something in the first place, therefore no reason to feel bitter with these muns or as if they're 'wasting your time'.

If they're not in your dms every day asking you for rp and never replying to any threads you give them you've got no reason to have beef with them. If they're not shitting on you for unfollowing/not writing with them then you've got no reason to have beef with them. Outside of those two things there is no reason for anyone to think blog hoppers and muse droppers are bad or to really be in their business in anyway.

I personally don't even notice blogs who do this that I don't get the opportunity to get friendly with OOC because after I follow them and they don't post again I forget all about them. No loss for anyone. You guys are saying that rpers should label themselves so you can "avoid" blogs that don't meet your personal criteria but ultimately you guys don't get to decide how much rp makes an rper. Some people don't label their blogs because sometimes people go inactive / drop muses / fandoms because of unforeseen events / circumstances in their lives / spaces. That said a lot of people I know and come across do label their blogs as things like "low" or "sporadic" activity etc so look out for labels like that if you're really concerned about how much a blog does or doesn't post.

As I mentioned in my last submission "people in the rpc get way too possessive of / personally invested in blogs / things that truly have nothing to do with them in any way and cannot possibly be effecting them to the extent some of them like to make out."

The balls in your court. If its so bothersome for any of you to follow people who don't post as much as you apparently suspected they would then you need to do a better job of surveying blogs before you follow them. Check post dates, again check for labels like low or sporadic activity, look at the rules as I know a lot of people will mention they hyper fixate on things and these periods can be brief, and have other blogs, prefer to write on discord, etc. It should be pretty clear how high or low a persons level of activity is once you check their blog even if they don't have any particular labels.

In response to the conversation about this submission.

#Submission Replies #Muns #Preferences #Representation #Communication #Accessibility

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gringolet · 4 years ago

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that italian?

okay okay okay i think it happened long enough ago that i can dish about the drama. she changed her url and im not including it anyway so its fine.

prepare for a fuckin. essay in responss to a TWO WORD ask but anyay

so once upon time there was an italian who hated children and loved reylo. she also hung out in the arthuriana tag and got a bunch of asks about it. so one day some poor anon comes in and asks if she has any trans headcanons for arthurian characters, and she, instead of being a normal person and saying like, no, she goes off about how trans characters in fanfic is forced representation and she cant talk about trans people bc surgery is triggering for her.

found this in the archives lol. so i rbd politely explaining that while it was fine to not have trans hcs, her justifications for it were a little offensive.

hey i dont want to start discourse or anything but i see ur asks in the tag a lot and i wanted to politely address this. firstly obviously no one is under any obligation to hc things, and headcanons and fandom is not activism. if you’d just said “no, not really” it would b fine. i mean, cringe of u, but fine. but u make a couple of points here i want to look at a bit critically. then there is “I don’t like when headcanons are pushed up as ~representation, especially when… Ehm, it’s just fandom stuff?” i dont want to misinterpret you or put words in your mouth, but the implication that theres no need for trans rep in fandom and dismissal of that is a very cis take. My initial read of your intention there was a complaint of ‘why should something like fandom spaces, which are for fun and not serious, be filled with non fun serious (bad) trans stuff that i have to see when im trying to enjoy myself.’ now that could be incorrect, you were a bit vague here. if that is what you meant, i think you maybe should examine why you feel that way. if it isnt, im unclear on what exactly youre trying to say here. the idea that trans hcs are performative wokeness and “representation” in fandom is completely ignoring the actual trans people making and wanting them. there is so vanishingly little representation of trans people in actual media and even less thats good, and i think implying trans hcs are being pushed on people and fandom for, ~representation (a world of meaning in the ~ i shant speculate on) is very dismissive and ignorant of that fact. honestly the main thing im troubled by is the idea that trans bodies are inherently disgusting and triggering, which is an incredibly harmful and hurtful idea, and since you yourself acknowledge that trans people and hcs dont predicate surgery i question why you bring it up, except as a justification for disconfort rooted in unexamined prejudice. im not accusing you of being a terf or anything, i dont believe you meant harm by this or have bad intentions, and im definitely not saying anyone has to hc anything. it was the uncomfronted insidiousness of your justification that concerned me. this is not a personal attack at all, you just have a lot of influence in this fandom space and i wanted to make you aware of some of the surely accidentally harmful things ur saying.

so she flips out and rbs that yelling at me and cursing me out in italian (she moved blogs so i dont have her whole response just bits)

basically she completely derailed the original topic and accused me of calling her a horrible person for her triggers? which i never did and would never do, and then tried to make it a wierd anti v proshipper thing

third: I never said there’s no need of trans hcs in fandoms, BUT I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency of condemning people on the basis of what they ship / the dynamics they write. ( like the infinite discourse about how ‘I ship only mlm enemies to lovers because f/m enemies to lovers are Inherently Bad and Abusive - something I personally heard on Twitter sigh ), so I feel the need to say it. blame the current fandom climate.

and were like wow, this lady is unhinged, so we look around her blog and find a. a lot of stuff like saying its racist to not like incest?? and that italians arent white?? also shes a swerf?? and kind of deniel italian colonialsm? and reblogs from a bunch of out and out terfs} there was more but this isnt a callout post lol.

valentine lanzelet made a post about this crazy italian we found and she flipped out on him (this is one of several cursey italian tag rants)

roughly means: GO SHIT YOURSELF (italian alternative to go fuck you), RACIST TERF IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN A WHEELBARROW (italian saying which does not translate well) AND WHAT HAS ITALIAN COLONIALISM TO DO WITH THIS YOU UGLY SHIT, and anyways lancelot sucks

(translated by claudio beheaded)

anyway so then. and this is when it gets unhinged. she goes on this server me and a lot of my mutuals n friends r in, camelot, and starts complaining about me.

(in red is the server admin, who was lovely) i asked her to move this convo to dms if she must bc it was rude to bring drama into the server, and she refused, and started insisting that she was being bullied and just wanted to be left alone, so i was like okay lets all block each other and move on, and she refused, continuing to defend everything she was being criticized for

they also said claudio was making them look bad by translating their rants which like... queen if that made them look bad they were already a bad look.

so she keeps pinging people and replying to shit despite everyone else at this point begging her to just drop it and call it a stalemate

imagine this but around n around for like an hour. also she repeatedly got me and valentine confused it was super funny. also she claimed it was an invasion of her privacy for valentine to go on her public blog and look at the things she openly said and rbd there

so the server got put in slow mode and she KEPT GOING even though everyone was just begging her to stop and not even responding

as u can see, around this point we just started spamming her with emoji reactions. she announced she was leaving then went back to arguing a full three times before finally dipping from the server

then she continued complaining about us and calling us puriteens in her tags (trying to make it a proshipper v anti thing i guess lol?)

for literally months before finally remaking. also in that time she got in an argument about how the crusades were fine actually. italianphobia works hard but she works harder i guess

anyway i prolly left out a lot but thats the italian saga

#cw discourse #i guess?#conflict anyway #if any involved have funny things to add go ahead

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mieczyhale · 3 years ago

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tua s2 made me fall out of love with tua and that’s just how it is

like i still love the content, s1 and the comics and stuff, but there was just too much about s2 that...wasn’t good. or was disappointing. cringe and not in an entertaining kind of way. they tried too hard with the music (the soundtrack was good but it by no means had the same power as the one for s1), underutilized or ignored main characters, little to no character development, gave one character all the power (listen there as literally no reason for vanya to be THAT powerful AND be able to control it - not after the *gestures to entire show*. plus she had powers that weren’t her powers. no. you have seven main characters who all have original powers. fucking USE THEM) they had no business not only wasting but ruining klaus the way they did - he was fan favorite ffs how do you NOT take that into consideration?? AND YOU HAVE SOURCE MATERIAL!! USE. IT. FUCKING USE IT.

ahhhh tua season one (1) my beloved

i tried really hard to love it - and did convince myself to for awhile, bc tua means so much to me and i didnt want to be disappointed about it - but the fact is: i am. like so incredibly lmao i don’t tend to back off in a fandom, even during a hiatus, unless given a good reason to not care anymore. i haven’t read a tua fic in months, i dont get involved in the tua discord (clowns, if u see this, i love u) and that’s like also for anxiety reasons but also bc i have nothing to say about this show. the fic i had started posting probably wont get worked on anytime soon (i’m a whump / hurt / comfort / angst lover and writer. s1 gave me plenty of inspiration and thoughts. s2? i mean.. there’s some. but it’s SO different from s1 my connection to the characters emotionally is gone. i cant write trauma i don’t feel attached to, karen, and i can’t write about characters i haven’t extensively analyzed. i mean idk maybe i can but i don’t really want to. drunk!me might try some time, that bitch DOES things, but otherwise.. not really my cup of coffee) i have no desire to make or consume content for it anymore-

maybe my feelings on *gestures to this entire post* will change when we actually start getting stuff for s3 (and i fully intend to watch the third season, even though i couldn’t care less about the stupid sparrows - one bad season isn’t enough for me to totally give up on it) but right now - and for the last several months.... the only love i have for the umbrella academy lies with season one and the comics. i don’t even care about getting more klaus - THAT’S how bad it is!! y’all know i love that motherfucker, we identify the same - i got some of his tattoos, our fashion sense is just Like That. he is baby. but rn i don’t give a shit about any of it or him. bc s2.

not saying s2 didn’t have it’s good things, its humor and whatnot, but it wasn’t enough to make up for everything else (and there’s a lot. this post mentions only a few things bc i didn’t even intend to make this post or get into any of this - real talk, i only meant to post the first sentence and then a vague short paragraph maybe. just to make my point, bc i never did acknowledge my backing away from tua and the fandom. but now it’s a lot of words and i’m not re-reading it! if i do my ocd will keep me here for hours and i have housework to do and dinner to make so)

dsl;fjsd;lfs

k so i could have maybe typed out more, made a little more sense, connected my thoughts and wrapped it all up with a nice bow, but my brain is Stopping. no more thoughts, not even in the empty void i go to when i make posts. just The End.

so i leave this incoherent overview of thoughts with the following::

s3 please don’t fuck up challenge

s3 please give me my dysfunctional family back

s3 please know literally anything about your characters

s3 please give the gays some fucking happiness and bring dave back. klave is forever no matter what but we’d all love to have our boys reunited (and still in love thanks. if you separate them i’ll put your balls in the toaster and your fingers in the garbage disposal. your head?? oven doors. they hurt.)

#this is straight up rambling #how did i manage to get worse with words??#i DON'T love that for me #maison speaks #mytuaposts

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lavenderek · 4 years ago

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hi, A/3 volunteer back again! i hope i can answer your questions properly, but i’m on mobile so sorry if i get a bit confused. it’s also going to be quite long but i hope you can figure out which questions i’m replying to. let me know if you need any more clarification!

1 - as tag wranglers, we don’t moderate content via deletion, etc - we just move fics into the correct tags, and it’s typically on a fandom basis (for example, i might solely wrangle for something like the supernatural fandom only). i’ve never come across ‘problematic’ tags since most of the time, it’s just sorting tags into like... more general tags? so example - someone tags a fic with ‘kinda fluffy kinda angsty’. we would then kind of make it so that tag redirects to ‘fluff with angst’, even though it still appears as the original tag on the fic. does that make sense? i’m also a little unsure of the other questions you had here - which is totally my fault, i’m in the middle of writing an essay for uni that needs to be in in like... 12 hours and my brain is frazzled - but if you were asking about a situation where if i was concerned that a single user had a collection of fics that were all entirely based upon something illegal and reported their entire account to mods, would it be deleted - i’m not sure. tag wranglers are kind of like low-level moderators, and we’re not what would typically be thought of as moderators since we simply reorganise content versus actually removing it. since the reporting process is typically through the site itself and is handled by an entirely separate team, i cant speak for how they think or what their process is.

2 - it’s up to our judgement as to if we want to report it, but again, the tags we wrangle are VERY general. tags like ‘dead dove don’t eat’ and stuff that are typically full of polarising content arent something i’ve come across, because i think they make up a minority of most fandoms when put against tags like ‘fluff’ and ‘angst’ and even stuff like ‘chocolate’, lmao. i’m not certain what happens when a report is processed and the fic is found to be removable - what i do know though is that with fics that are seen as breaking specific laws (i.e depictions of CSA, slander, etc) mods are often a lot more hard-handed for several reasons (reputation both within the community and in terms of the fact they could very much get in legal trouble). again though, i’m a low-level moderator and don’t see that side of the process. however, if i report something and it’s not taken down, i’m not implicated in any way. it’s been a while since i’ve been on the site and reported anything so i’m not entirely certain if reporting is 100% anonymous or if you have to supply details like email, but i think if you DO supply things, it’s to ensure you aren’t mass-reporting someone (bc i think that counts as targeted harassment). email is also possible to fake, so i think you can make the process anonymous if you want to. as for how often i personally report fic - not often. i’m a CSA victim (which is why this topic is touchy for me tbh), and i don’t like to go through the process because i find it arduous - you have to give an explanation as to why you’re reporting the fic, and i find it triggering at times. i’ve also never been in a position where i have found a fic while actively volunteering that i feel has been necessary to report, so i can’t speak for that either. all of that being said - i’ve heard of and seen on one occasion fics and entire accounts be deleted for harassment/slander - in particular, i’ve heard multiple times that accounts dedicated to purposely like... making fun of? or like technically harassing? kpop boy group members have been taken down because even though their content is ‘technically’ fanfiction, it’s obviously just there to incite hatred against a specific person. so, imo, if mods are quick on taking down accounts obviously run by 14 year olds in fandom drama writing numerous fics where boyband member A calls boyband member B stupid and tells him nobody likes him, i think they’re very likely just as serious about taking down more serious content. that’s just my opinion and my personal experience though, and it’s distinct from my volunteering.

overall, on the whole topic of CSA on the website - it’s really tough even just as a basic content moderator. there’s lots of reasons as to why people post it, and though people are very obviously welcome and encouraged to think critically about everything, it’s a fact that the topic is really really difficult to manoeuvre (culture, who is posting it, when was it posted, why it’s being posted aka vent fics, etc). as i said, i’m a CSA victim myself, so i understand the frustration, but it’s too nuanced and difficult a topic to be able to say ‘ban it all’. however, i do think the site is doing their best to crack down on stuff that is very obviously on there for one specific reason, and i also think generally, they’re changing things so people are able and sometimes encouraged to anonymise themselves by not giving any profile info and to protect themselves by turning off comments completely, etc. i find that you can make it really easy to curate your posting experience so that essentially, you can post but nobody can really interact.

3 - i like tag wrangling! i got into it because i saw a position on the front page of the site and decided to go for it. it wasn’t very taxing to get into and you don’t have to put much work in - a couple of hours a week is enough, and they’re understanding about work/uni/etc. it’s easy to meet other people through volunteering, and they ensure everyone is over 18. i don’t read through fic myself - just through tags, and then i sort them into their proper places. if something is tagged wrong, we don’t get in touch with the author, we just do our best to reorganise the tag so it redirects into the correct place - again, for instance, if someone writes a fantasy AU that they tag with ‘high fantasy prince/princess AU’ and that tag doesn’t exist, we would sort it into the main tag for a royalty AU or something like that. re: monetisation of fics: technically, monetised content is not allowed on A/3 - if someone is advertising their patreon or kofi in their authors notes or profile, you’re supposed to report it just as a general user. i think it’s because it puts the site at risk of being sued or something? but as a low level mod, i don’t HAVE to report these things unless i see them while i’m tag wrangling (aka i see a tag like ‘my patreon is XYZ!!!!! send me money!!!!!!’) and i personally don’t report monetised fics because ... i don’t find it a prominent issue, lmao. people are also learning to avoid it by being like this is my tumblr or this is my twitter, and when you click on their social media they link their patreon or whatever There instead. also, idk who decided the colour scheme! i think it was just like a generally agreed upon thing with the site designers. i also think there’s been convo for a few years about dark modes and stuff on the site, but i’m pretty sure the site has to get a few more things out of the way before they’ll prioritise that (i know they’re trying to work on a better moderating system for things like spam and harassment atm bc the spam filter absolutely sucks dick lol). i’ll totally drop a mention like WOW, wouldnt it be AMAZING if we could have this SPECIFIC COLOUR SCHEME, tho <3

thank you so much for responding!!! this is really cool to know, i've never even seen a post by an a*3 worker before so you're a total unicorn right now

heh uni-corn because you're in uni. sorry i'm tired too

good luck on your paper!

#haters #who is this even #long post

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feckyeswriting · 4 years ago

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Fic updates from the past few weeks

I forgot to post links to some new stuff in the past few weeks over on DW. Some of these have been posted on here, but I don't want to re-do the post and Tumblr is absolutely wretched sometimes with making posts disappear, so ya gonna get all four links still (but I’ll put a cut to save dashboard space :3 )

2 for Leverage (No Redemption Spoilers!) and 2 for Shadow and Bone

Title: The Sisley Job Rating: T Fandom: Leverage Pairing/Characters: Parker/Eliot Spencer Critical Tags: Season 5 AU, Slice of Life, Getting Together Summary: “It’s stupid,” Parker cried. “Who just wants to go look at art that they didn’t even steal?” --- Parker learns what she likes. Originally posted for fandom5k Excerpt:

“Get it? There’s capers in there to add salt.”

Parker took another bite without suspicion. When she finished swallowing her fork went down. “But what does this have to do with liking things?” she wondered.

Eliot blinked at her. It was so easy, after all these years of working together and being friends, to forget that this was still Parker at the end of the day. Something was wrong with the girl. No worse than any of them, depending on the day, but still. The fact that she had to ask Eliot just confirmed to him that she had a long way to go. “Makin’ food, sharing it with people, that’s something that I do to share a bit of myself with them. Connecting with… with people I care about. It’s important. It makes me feel good,” he tried to explain.

She lifted that eyebrow again. “A perfect lift makes me feel good,” she replied. Eliot had no doubt that she was being completely honest with him. Then she frowned. “But I just want to do another one after that. And it might not be perfect, then.”

Eliot speared another bite from the plate between them. If Parker wasn’t going to finish it, he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. He’d spent his lunch after the noon rush to work up the dish for her. “Sounds like you gotta find something that makes you feel good for more than a few minutes.”

“How do I do that?”

“Parker, you asked for my help. But even I don’t have all the answers.”

Title: Shoot from the Hip Rating: T Fandom: Leverage Pairing/Characters: Parker/Quinn Critical Tags: Guns, Established Relationship Summary: Quinn just wants to make sure his girl knows how to use the tools she's got. Excerpt:

"When was the last time you actually used that thing? And can you please get it out of my face? Honestly, Parker, I used the damn doorbell for christsake."

Parker let the pistol come back down to her hip. She frowned at the hitter standing on her front door step. "That's why I got the gun in the first place. Who uses doorbells?" she remarked. "Seemed suspicious."

Quinn sighed and shook his head. Once he wasn’t as concerned about the continued safety of his good looks he was able to relax more fully. He waited for Parker to give the sign that he was allowed to step inside. Respecting a woman’s boundaries had been finely ingrained in him by his mommas.

“When was the last time, anyway?”

Title: Nothing in Return Rating: T Fandom: Shadow & Bone Pairing/Characters: Alina Starkov/Aleksander Critical Tags: Proposal Fic, Complicated Relationships Summary: "How can you love me without expecting anything in return?" -- A prompt ficlet. Excerpt:

"After everything that has happened, you would still ask for my hand," she said. It was barely a question, more a statement of fact. He had asked for exactly that and nothing less.

"And nothing else," he replied. She snorted at that, an indelicate sound.

"You collared me for my power." Aleksander’s eyes flicked from her face briefly to her throat. The kefta there was buttoned to the top, blue and gold armor over the skin there. Once, Aleksander had been able to feel the bone there that tied her power to him. Without the matched fragment in his palm, he could only fall back to memory.

Title: Where Hoofbeats and Hearts Thunder (2 / 10 chapters posted so far) Rating: T Fandom: Shadow and Bone Pairing/Characters: Alina Starkov/Aleksander Critical Tags: Gift Giving, Horses, Drama Summary: When Alina Starkov has a break from the grind of Grisha training there is always a bit of relief. Even if that “break” is just another kind of training. Apparently her lackluster horseback skills require attention in the form of some unexpected one-on-one time with the General. Aka that fic where Alina spends more than just one afternoon riding pretty horses with pretty General Kirigan /chinhands/ Excerpt:

They brought the horses down to the water’s edge to drink and enjoy the cooler breeze that came across the lake. Alina passed the reins from palm to palm as she waited for her mare to nose at the water. The quiet between herself and Kirigan was getting to her. She was supposed to say something, right?

“I didn’t know the Black General was such an expert on horsemanship.” Alina blurted out the first coherent thought to come to her that didn’t amount to being tired or frustrated by what felt like inadequate level of success with her steed.

Kirigan tipped his head and there again was the wry cant to his lips. “I wasn’t aware that I wasn’t expected to have interests beyond the war. Is that an impression you hold for all Grisha or just for the Shadow Summoner?”

The undercurrent of teasing allowed Alina some relief that she hadn’t said something completely foolish. She replied after a moment’s pause, “I never put much thought about either before, to be honest. Grisha always felt so mysterious, so different than the rest of us. And no one knows what to expect about- about you.”

She fumbled with exactly how to address him. Enough time had passed since they had last spoken after the presentation in front of the King and Queen where Alina felt once again on the back foot. She let her free hand trail through her horse’s mane, keeping her gaze locked down at the ripples in the water that had made their way over from the other side of the lake.

“You know,” Kirigan said, “the more that you think about Grisha as being someone or something different, something other, the more difficult it will be for you to settle here.”

#Sarah Writes #Leverage Fic #S&B Fic

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kitykat18 · 4 years ago

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Behind Their Smile

Seven boys who meet each other, help one another, but will that help them to get them out of there misery. are they gonna be okay or is it gonna make it worse? who is able to help them? are they gonna be okay?

Nethan

After school I usually have a part time job in a tank station, but today I was free, lucky!! After school today I went to the convenience store and bought some food, when I arrived at my house, which is actually a hut in an abandoned train station. I heard someone behind me ‘’you live here?’’ when I turned around I saw Tobias there with a surprised face. ‘’what the hell are you doing here?! Did you follow me?!’’ I asked ‘’well…yes I did follow, but before you get mad I have a good reason’’ ‘’it better be good’’ ‘’well you see it’s your birthday today’’ ‘’I don’t celebrate my birthday, and you know that’’ ‘’well that’s the whole thing, I found that weird so I wanted to surprise you. But I didn’t know you were hiding something like this. Why did you hide it?’’ ‘’because I don’t someone’s pity because of my situation’’ ‘’but if you told me or showed me I could’ve helped you, even know I can help you. It’s not bad to ask someone for help and you know that because I got that from you. But how did you get in this situation?’’ ‘’first come in.’’ We walked in and I made him some coffee. We sat down, and he went straight to the point. ‘’now tell me what happened’’ ‘’well when I was thirteen my parent died in a car crash, I had no siblings, so I stayed with my uncle. My uncle was a nice guy, he had to work hard for money, so I also started a part time job at a convenience store, to help him with some groceries and stuff. After a few month’s my uncle died of overworking, he already had a weak heart. He did leave some money but it wasn’t enough, so I asked a friend of mine if he had a place for me to stay in, with a low rent. After asking he showed me this abandoned train station and told me that if I built a house here, I could live here without rent. So I took the deal. I started building, I know it’s not the best, but I like it and I can survive. But the place was too far from my part time job so I quit and found a tank station close by, and now I work there.’’ ‘’I see. So that why you’re grades came down. I thought that was weird, you are the smartest guy I know. I should’ve known by then. I guess I was just that stupid’’ he said, but it wasn’t his fault ‘’it’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you because I was scared of what you would think of me, after you would find out about it.’’ ‘’come on dude we are friends’’ he said why he put his arm around me. I guess this is what I needed it, I should have told him sooner. After talking a bit, he started looking around, not that there is a lot to see. ‘’what is this? Did you write these?’’ he asked, I didn´t know what he was talking about until he turned around with a black notebook in his hands. ‘’wait, no don´t read that’’ I said while walking towards him, but he started acting like a child and running out of the house. ‘’if you tell me what it is’’ he said. ‘’fine! I tell you so give it to me’’ ‘’no, tell me first and then I will give it to you’’ honestly he is such a child. ‘’these are lyrics, well rap lyrics’’ I confessed, ‘’I didn’t know you could rap, why didn’t you tell me?’’ ‘’I don’t rap, I just like making them’’ ‘’can you try and rap it for me’’ ‘’I just told you I don’t rap’’ ‘’yes, you said you don’t rap, doesn’t mean you can’t. so let me hear it.’’ After some complaining, I rapped a little part of my rap. ‘’see you can rap. Why aren’t you showing that to anyone else?’’ ‘’well because I can’t get anything from it. If I rap on the street I only hear people complaining, so I stopped’’ ‘’so you want to get some money for the rapping’’ I nodded. ‘’I just know the place, it’s a place I go for some easy money. You down?’’ ‘’is it illegal?’’ he nodded no ‘’I trust you on this, lead the way’’

After I asked him to lead the way, he took me to a restaurant. ‘’weren’t you going to show me where I could rap’’ ‘’be quit not everyone knows about this place. Chef!!’’ I heard him scream, after that I saw a tall man, taller than me, come out of the kitchen. ‘’suga, my man!’’ he said while laughing historical, he had a deep voice. ‘’how are doing, I haven’t seen you for a while. Why didn’t you come?’’ ‘’I was busy, sorry. But I brought someone and he is good’’ the tall man looked at me up and down ‘’well if you say he is good he must be. You know where to go’’ they shaked hands and Tobias walked to the door which was the back door. ‘’is suga your stage name?’’ I asked ‘’yes, you like it. Don’t worry you will get one too after they see you rap’’ ‘’I see, I cant choose my one name?’’ ‘’depends on how good you are, but since you will show a original. I think you can choose you own stage name. so I think its better if you think of one right now’’ I nodded. After walking for a minute there was a stair that was going down, after we went down we could hear some music and someone rap. When we arrived at the door Tobias turned and said ‘’welcome to the MAZE’’ and he opened the door. I heard a loud beat and someone rap and the crowd cheering. After that person was done a man with a microphone ‘’and that was Ethan everyone give him a applause. Now it’s 9 pm and you guys now what that means, well expect for the newbies, yes I said newbies. cause today is audition time’’ everyone cheered. ‘’ calm down everyone, tonight we have not 2 but 4 participants, how about that. This is gonna be one hella of a night you guys. Goodluck to all the newbies’’ after that some music was played my lower than before. I saw Tobias walk to me ‘’well what do you think of it for your first time?’’ ‘’it’s nice, but it’s not only rap is it?’’ ‘’your quick. But yes it’s also singing and dancing.’’ ‘’I see, but how is this going to work?’’ ‘’okey let me explain. There are three categories rap, sing and dance. You will go in group rap with me and some other people, there are different levels. The higher you go up with levels the higher the amount will be. But to go levels up you need to win competition, those are 1 on 1 in the beginning but the higher you go, the more people you need to work with. So I hope you can work with people and can listen to other people, because if you can’t you wont be able to win the matches. Right now I’m at level 9, it’s a low level but that’s because I haven’t come in a while. There are 70 levels, every 10 levels later 1 person joins your group. Every group has 7 people in it, and when you have your group you still have one match of 10 levels you do with your group and that’s the last contest. Oh and on that day there is a high possibility that agents of some big companies and some small companies, and it’s the choice of the leader to pick the company you want to join. Does that answer your question.’’ ‘’yes it does, just one more question. Can you still choose me even if I am still not higher than level 10?’’ ‘’yes it is, I will just put your name on my list, but I can’t compete until you finish you first 10 levels.’’ ‘’I see, do you already have company you want to join?’’ ‘’what are you talking about, you are going to be our leader.’’ ‘’wait! What?! Why, I just started this stuff’’ ‘’yes, but I know from myself that I can’t keep up with people I get angry easy, and you have a way of talking to people that puts them in ease.’’ I know that he can get pretty angry ones he is annoyed, but still this is a lot of pressure. ‘’what if I pick a company the rest of the group don’t want, and what if’’ ‘’okey I’m stopping you there. Look you don’t have to choose the company on the day it self, they will leave there company cards with you and then you can talk to the rest of the group.’’ ‘’I see, can I still pick someone else as the leader later on the contest?’’ he nodded a no. ‘’okey, bu’’ when I wanted to say something the host came up the stage. ‘’you guys let get this started!!’’ everyone started cheering. ‘’our first participant is Jonathan and he will be singing for us, let all hear some applause for him!!’’ everyone cheered, whistled and started clapping. I knew i know that name it was Jonathan from our school, but what is he doing here, I thought he was loaded. He started singing and the whole room was in silence. His voice was so nice to listen to he had a high voice and clear, it was beautiful. When he was done it was still quit for a few seconds and then he started clapping and cheering, and me too. I really liked his voice. The judges were talking among them self, when they were done the told him he was accepted. One of the judge asked ‘’do you know what your name will be?’’ ‘’yes I chose the name Jin’’ after saying that he walked of the stage. I walked up to him, ‘’heyy Jonathan!’’ he turned around and was surprised to see me. ‘’wait you are… Nethan right.’’ ‘’yes I am, what are you doing here?’’ ‘’when I heard about this place I thought that I wanted to something new.’’ ‘’I see. You were amazing out there’’ ‘’thanx, when are you up?’’ ‘’I think I’m third’’ ‘’okay well good luck.’’ He waved and left.

After the second participant the host called my name, I went up the stage and it was frighting but I mustered up my courage and started rapping own of my own rap. When I was done one of the judges asked me ‘’I don’t know this rap, who’s is it’’ ‘’it mine sir’’ everyone looked shocked and then the judges started talking among them again, after the were done they told me I was accepted. The judge: ‘’ did you choose a name?’’ ‘’yes sir, I chose RM’’

The rest of the participants didn’t go through, they were good but most of them forgot there lyrics or there moves. Now the game started. Let’s hope I can find people who are willing and want to join my group.

~note~

i’m sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, it’s my first time posting my story. Please leave down your opinion so that i can learn from them, and if you like you can put down your own ideas for books that i should write, mabey a short story. you can also message me :).

This book is an idea I had from one of BTS their album, which is called; The most beautiful moment in life: young forever. It’s a very nice album, please listen to it and watch it.

#fanfiction #fiction #love #dance #dancing #rap #rapping #sing #singing #family #bts #bangtan #mystery #happy or sad #ending #saveme #i'm fine

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xuune · 6 years ago

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oh wow i haven’t been on tumblr in so long bc mobile is shit but how tf did i forget abt ur art ??? fukcin blows me away wow. any tips on anatomy for a rly bad artist? ik practice, but i get so frustrated when it doesn’t look like what i see in my head :(

yeah lol mobile on tumblr sucks major ass now. i cant even publish drafts on there. and im in the same boat wiht you on anatomy lmao. it might look like i know what im doing, but sometimes not really. maybe im just good at deceiving ppl on the way i draw when its kinda inaccurate

anyway, i also struggle with never really composing the shit i want, and even i tell myself to go practice anatomy but im never really granted a lot of time in my life, so i gotta make use of whatever i can find whenever i draw.

this post is actually long, so if you just want anatomy resources, you can check these out:

stuff that i made tutorials/tips on: torso/hands/pose

these are all very condensed tutorials/tips, so a lot of this is just collection of stuff that i’ve learned/noticed from others. this might be helpful, but idk man

here’s a list of other resources for anatomy/any other refs

this one was mentioned in the list, but its easily looked over: posemaniacs, it has different modes you can try out (timed/casual study), and its good for practicing foundations in anatomy. i paid more attention to this one when i saw a twitter post of it

bodies in motion is a site you can also use. it has a catalog of images to see people acting something out, and you get to see all the frames of it occurring. even though you’re just looking at images, its still a reference to learn how arms, legs, or torsos move B^) its a good way to pay attention to the smaller details like the various muscles in bodies

and honestly, check out what other ppl say too. there’s a lot of artists out there who might’ve already wrote some shit that i mentioned or have new info that i never thought about. just type in “anatomy/art tips” into any kind of search bar and you’re sure to find something useful at some point. but main takeaway i really want you to have is to seriously study from life. dont do it based on memory or anything. there’s no other general advice that i can really give besides 1) practice 2) study from life 3) dont stress out and take your time. if you want me to give a specific tip/tutorial on a body part, i can try, but the amount of depth i can give is really based on my own knowledge of it

now for the 2nd part of this post:

COMPOSING SHIT OR MAKING STUFF LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU EXPECTED IT TO LOOK LIKE:

“i get so frustrated when it doesn’t look like what i see in my head :(“

i suck at it, whoever is reading this prob sucks at it (and they secretly know it too) we all gotta start somewhere. you’re kinda asking for composing stuff while also anatomy tips, but its kinda broad, so lemme mention something about composition:

use perspective grids or at least practice using them first. the best way to understand how things are supposed to look is also based around the way you’re trying to see it in, like a certain angle of some sort. here, lemme give an example where i drafted a sketch a lot:

ok cool, got a pose i want, got the general idea, niiiiiiiiiceee. but i didnt think it was good enough, but i still managed to plan out a pose anyway with that grid on the bottom. it helped me gain a focus on how these characters were supposed to lay down on the ground, but it still wasnt good enough yet. character on top was facing their right instead of the person in front of them, which wasnt what i wanted.

then i sketched it again. this time the “camera” of the scene was more based around the front of the characters rather than the side, and now the character is looking at the person below them. but wait, it wasnt good enough yet. i didnt like how relaxed their position looked.

i changed the position of the character to make it seem more convincing that they were pressing hard into the ground and possibly sneering at the person below them. they held dominance over the person simply based on the way theyre positioned in the scene. the way people move suggests a lot about what is happening in the scene and what might be apparent about their character. i was able to make a pose i wanted with the help of a perspective grid, and it really does help at times. use perspective grids to help you out with making anatomy. also, dont forget that what you learn from simply observing how bodies work can help you out with giving clues to how the bodies should look at a certain angle

but am i a master at using perspective grids? no, lol. i always have to make several perspective grids while i draw as a way to convince myself that i really am drawing my shit right.

some of the resources i listed lean into something related to perspective, so there’s that. there’s definitely tutorials out there to understand how to use perspective grids, so i suggest you search those up too. there’s a program called carapace thats specific for creating perspective grids, but im not sure where the original download site is, but if you want to know what it looks like or where to download it, google is your friend. if you use digital media and your drawing software offers a perspective grid function, then i highly suggest you learn how to use it.

i wouldnt say that there’s a specific thing you need to learn first (i.e. learning perspective before anatomy), but if you want to just simply learn how to draw anatomy, then go ahead and find whatever you can. if you wanna create some cool ass poses with some interesting perspective shots, then take what you learn from anatomy and apply it to how you practice your perspective shots or vice versa. there’s a lot of variety in what you can do and how you can do it simultaneously with something else to learn something out of it B^)

#answered asks #art tips #some art shit

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the5021project · 4 years ago

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Project 1 - Image (Re)selection

I originally picked a random image from my documents for the first of the 50 projects on December 30th, but the image that I chose is technically difficult to credit and locate an original location for. It was posted by the original artist to an old blog that has since been scrubbed of its images that were saved there, and unfortunately the blog entry reveals there would have been images from other artists as well. I’m almost positive of the artist, and he’s prolific enough that I could easily pick something else of his to be safe... but I liked the image that I picked, and I would much rather spend some time tracking down something similar to it or maybe even emailing the artist about the scenario. Thats a lot of work to do that isn’t being spent on the art part of this project, so for now I’m just picking something else and putting it on a waiting list.

I’m a little relieved to not being doing a perspective heavy interior environment lineart though! :D

Instead, I picked...

“Fatigue” by John Brosio

(unfortunately I cannot link directly to the exact painting. It’s currently 36/87, the octopus on the house. Go look through his gallery, though! Wonderful stuff)

SO, here’s what I’m thinking about this first project right now:

This is oil on canvas, which is definitely not feasible for me. I definitely could not do this with my acrylics or tiny canvases but this makes me want to try. I have a painting i’ve wanted to paint over for a while and this seems like a good time to do that... BUT that might just have to be something I follow up with for a later project. There’s nothing here that digital cant do. I’ll save physical media for where digital fails.

This isn’t anything TOO complicated.

The subject matter is all out of my comfort zone, but none of it to an extreme degree. I don’t have to worry about linework or extreme perspective here.

I think light, color, and mood are the keys here and that’s not too tough a challenge.

I’m excited about drawing some houses and creatures! Which is good. I need to do some studies.

There’s an orderliness to this that makes it easier for me to get a result I’ll like, and enough negative space that I can focus my efforts on the important bits, which makes doing this in a week a lot easier.

All in all, I think this is WAY closer to my comfort zone than the original image I picked to start with, and I don’t think thats a bad thing at all. It means I can focus my efforts a bit more instead of learning many different things at once.

What I’m thinking about for my version:

I’ll definitely be keeping the evening lighting on this. I think the mood of this would be lost without it.

This style of house is a very specific type of Americana, but... it’s not really all that familiar to me. I’m more used to older two story 1900s houses that have seen a lot of renovation over the years, but I’m not sure how much switching to that sort of house would change the composition. I think that style of house would ruin the composition here, so it’s something i’ll have to think about.

I guess this means I actually have to do thumbnails and think about my composition like a real artist. Painful...

I was going to change from an octopus to some other nice creature, originally. Brosio’s work contains a lot of that sort of thing and I love it... but I think there are some factors to consider:

The fact that the door is blocked to the house by the creature is very important thematically. You can imagine, if the man’s path wasn’t entirely blocked by the creature, he would simply continue with his day and go inside, maybe not noticing the creature at all. The fact that he cannot rest due to being presented with this inconvenience is key to the piece. Whatever the creature is, it has to be something that can do that.

This is especially difficult to do if its a 2 story house.

The otherworldliness of an octopus is important. This guy might know how to handle a giant ferret, for example. But how do you convince a giant octopus to unblock your entryway? We just don’t know.

The creature cannot be aggressive for the tone of this. The creature must be something which simply does not care.

I think the creature also needs to be intelligent and reactive, however.

I think if it was just a giant worm you could nudge it away. But an octopus can be suctioned to the house.

I can’t identify so much with the man here. The businessman coming home from work to 1950s suburbia is definitely a strong, culturally embedded image, and I think it makes it easier to distance from him and enjoy a bit of his misfortunes. However, I think a very tired college student coming back to see a creature in the way is extremely funny and relatable to me, so I’ll probably consider that change.

However, I’m not sure if the added complexity to establish that will be good for the composition.

I think a gray hoodie that says “[LOCATION NAME] U” and a backpack might be enough to establish character archetype

but its not as striking as a plain black suit.

Anyway, I don’t think these projects will ALL get breakdowns like this, and I expect Maybe one person to actually read any of them, but being able to do an analysis if I want was a big appeal of starting a side blog for this. It really helps me to read and write when I’d looking at coding and programming projects, and I like to hear people’s reasoning in other fields too, so I thought a part of this as a learning project would be to write these myself.

#project log #analysis

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,” “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue. Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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