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#like i literally just finished a month’s long edit do i really need to do that again. do i.
raiiny-bay · 2 months
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had an idea for yet another big project…
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sizzleissues · 5 months
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Its May.
Okay so this is in the same AU I had last year its just changed and evolved while also being the exact same. Except now I have 15,000 words of it written, like 7,000 words of planning and lore and hours upon hours of research that I will be pointedly ignoring. Will be posting more stuff this month about the AU and my hopes and dreams for it
Also slight art improvement check? I’ll put their original mermaid designs below the cut.
It’s Marinette as a mermaid and … its not Adrien or Chat Noir but a third worse thing (Catwalker but in the purest manifestation of it being a curse and not who he wants to be) I will be making designs for mer!Ladybug, and mer!Adrien as its own thing later on.
Okay if you want to indulge me look below the cut
Old mermaid designs first. I am going to be talking about my design thoughts, thoughts and ramblings about this AU and what I’ve been up to. You have been warned
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As you can see, some things have changed but neither design I hated, I just wanted to go further with it.
My brain is quite specific about mermaids and how I want them to generally look. I wanted to distinguish biological merfolk from transformed humans by having them being anatomically different. So Adrien has a vertical tail instead which is also way faster underwater. His transformation is quite distressing for him and very chaotic. Of course when he accepts it he’s not so raggedy.
Marinette similarly avoids her life as a mermaid by becoming human and I wanted her mermaid design to hint toward her fascination with humans. She wears a top she fashioned from human fabric she found in a sunken merchant vessel. In general all other merfolk either forgo clothes or wear things fashioned from materials available to them. There’s deep fear of humans and human things so even though human clothes are available to them (off dead bodies but…. Whatever) they choose to difference themselves as much as possible. The same taboos don’t exist for them and their bodies are already adapted from the temperature of their environment. Adrien has stray bits of netting and seaweed on him because he’s not exactly the best at controlling his speed and often crash’s through fishing nets and patches of seaweed resulting in stuff being caught on him.
A lot of their designs are still being worked but I’ve definitely pushed them the right direction!
On to the AU. You might have seem me cryptically talk about something I’m writing the past few weeks. This is because it’s been in my brain since last May and been on and off writing it since then. I decided I’d talk about it once May came back around but and then when I finished writing it, start posting sneak peaks and more spoilery art until it was fully edited and I felt confident in it to post with an aim for it to finish posting once May rolled around again. Oh god.
It’s set in the late 1700s in a fictional version of France that’s actually fragmented over a bunch of islands. I have done more fashion research than I ever thought I’d do and in the end we will still be taking creative license but know I do know what they actually wore! I ALSO did a butt tonne of research about sailing ships and turns out they are super complicated and now I know too much and yet too little still about them. It should be super fun and action packed if I can manage. Have some really good scenes already in my head I know you’ll love. We’re already three ships battle deep and I’ve only written four chapters. (It chills out for a bit after that)
This is entirely self-indulgent by the way. I’m writing this for me, you guys are just a bonus. I literally don’t care as long as it satiates my rabid need for the fic that only lives in my brain at the moment. Saying that, I do want to put my best foot forward.
The next thing I will be posting for this is their human forms and more blabblerings about that. For I am insane and all.
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OMG Clandestine is done!
I am so so so excited to say I just posted the epilogue to Clandestine! Featuring a beautiful commission from @itslotuseater!
Ships: Jegulus, background wolfstar, dorlene, pandalily, rosekiller Rating: M Length: 142k (FINISHED! COMPLETED! AHH!)
Summary:
He was crying. “You can do that?” He repeated, feeling like he was in some sort of dream. And then, Sirius seemed to realize. Because for a twelve-year-old, he was decently smart, and knew him better than anyone. “D’you…d’you want to do that, Reggie? I thought…I thought it was just a game?” But he could only shake his head. Because it wasn't a game. He was a boy. And he could tell from Sirius's nervously resigned expression that Sirius knew it, too. "It's...not a game." --- There's not enough Trans Regulus Black, so here's a fic to help fix the problem. Rated mature for lots of references to transphobia and Walburga Black being a piece of shit. COMPLETED (I'm not crying, you are)
Ahhh, my long-winded thank-you note:
First and foremost, thank you to Arson, my amazing Alpha Reader who brainrotted with me throughout almost the entire process. I literally could not have finished this without you, and I am so thankful to have you in my life. You've helped me through so many cases of horrible Writer's Block, encouraged me whenever I needed it, and you're an amazing friend. I hope you love your "Barty and Evan's Bitch" shirt :D
Second, to my wife, who literally dealt with me talking about this fic for TEN MONTHS. You're literally the most amazing and supportive person in my life, and I love you more than words. Thank you for being the James to my Regulus.
Third, to my Beta Reader, Kat, who is still wading through the trenches of this fic finding all my mistakes. I am so glad to have you and thank you for dealing with all of my errors and answering my messages at odd hours of the night.
Fourth, to all of the people who have encouraged me: Abby, Danielle, Kelz, everyone on the discord servers who has seen me struggle, you guys are amazing and I am so thankful to you.
Fifth, to the lovely people who created fanart for this fic. You all are amazing and you brought this to life. I bow down to you, truly, you are so incredibly talented.
Sixth, to the people who I interviewed about dysphoria and being on T, so I could have a more well-rounded understanding about Regulus's experience. Though I identify as trans, I am so thankful that other trans people were willing to give their experiences in areas I wanted to describe as accurately as possible.
And last, to all of you, who read and kudosed and inboxed and recommended and commented and kept me going. You all are amazing, and you've made this such a positive experience. This fic really was for me, to work through my own gender an discover about myself, and I am so thankful you have been here along this journey.
I want to reiterate that this is one trans person's journey, but I think it's so important to have representation in all forms of media. I'm hoping that my version of Reggie has helped with that a little bit! He's my baby, and he deserves all the good things.
Keep an eye out for the B-sides of this fic! I'll add a chapter to this work linking to it, so if you're subscribed to this, you'll get an e-mail. I'll also be editing this work to fix all the errors, and I'll be doing the B-sides as I go. It probably won't be for a couple of weeks, since I am now working, and I won't have any strict posting schedule, but I'm excited for those as well!
I love you all. Thanks for being a part of this journey.
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thevillainswhore · 1 year
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Tension
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Pairing: Massage Therapist!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Word Count: 4.2k
Summary: You’re devastated when your usual massage therapist becomes unavailable at the last minute, but an unexpected trainee is more than happy to handle you.
Warnings: Smut (fing-ering fem receiving, mentions of a-nal play, m-asturbation male receiving)
A/N: Unbeta’d, dividers by saradika and firefly-graphics - also a massive thank you to my babe @rookthorne for helping me edit my header, loves you bitch 💗
Listen, just please use your imaginations with the oil, let’s pretend it’s safe and can be used for… things 👀 okay thank you, enjoy x
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Resting your head against the back of the waiting room leather chair, you await your appointment at your regular spa. Headache already starting to disappear from the eucalyptus aroma of incense seaping into your skin.
You needed this. The long work week draining you of all common sense to not hit your coworkers over their heads every two seconds, due to their incompetence. Now, it has finally come to a close, and you could take the opportunity to indulge in your guilty pleasure.
This was the only way you could continue to keep your head above water. A monthly treat to yourself of a two hour long full body massage - undisturbed peace and soft hands kneading the stress out of your body until it felt like you were floating.
And it was literally heaven on earth to let go of the strong willed nature that came with your work, placing your care into the hands of someone else. Giving up your responsibilities of taking charge and allowing another to take care of you for a little while.
It felt so good to let go. Forgetting all of your worries that seemed silly in the midst of the background waterfall noises that lulled you into calmness.
Jesus, you weren’t even on the massage table yet and you already felt so much lighter.
With that thought, the lovely receptionist, you’ve become familiar with from your numerous visits, walks out from the back room and addresses you with an apologetic expression.
“Miss, I’m so terribly sorry about this, but an unexpected personal emergency has come up for your regular therapist and she’s had to leave before your treatment today.”
Your face drops. The excited anticipation bubbling inside you from at last being able to relax, dying out instantly at her words.
Of course it wasn’t your therapist’s fault that you would miss out on the only pass time that gets you through the month. Of course, it wasn’t her fault you’d probably go home and scream into your pillow. Yet, you couldn’t help your internal frustration at the disappointing outcome.
It didn’t help that you hadn't had an orgasm for god knows how long too. The band inside was you on the verge of snapping. A massage being the only way to soothe the built up tension over the month and you feared you would have a mental breakdown from the added stress.
“Listen, I wouldn’t normally suggest this,” she goes on to explain as you lift your head with intrigue, “but we have a new massage therapist in training, free for your time slot. His clientele base is still quite small. However, he’s received great reviews and he’s happy to cover your treatment today - if that’s something you would consider. Would you like to meet him before coming to a decision?”
Fuck it. It’s either this or try to relieve yourself with your shitty vibrator at home that’ll probably die out before you can finish anyway. And you really didn’t want to make the dent in your bedroom wall any bigger from the other times you’d thrown the useless thing at it.
So, what harm could it do?
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After agreeing to an introduction with the trainee, telling yourself you should at least see if you feel comfortable enough with him, you stand outside the private massage room, waiting to be invited in.
Eventually hearing a breathy shout of “Come in!”, the receptionist opens the door and allows you to step through, the seemingly young man’s back turned towards you as he fiddles with last minute preparations for your massage.
“Just tryna get everythin’ ready for ya, won’ be a minute.”
After finishing up and a final appraisal to the set up, the trainee spins on his fit, claps his hands together and looks at you directly, “Sorry ‘bout that, darlin’! The name's James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky, sweetheart, I’ll be lookin’ after’ya today.”
Holy shit, where the hell did they find this one?
Bucky’s mid length chocolate hair ran rogue with an errand piece falling into his eyes. It took all of your strength to not reach out and tuck it behind his ear, or maybe even scratch your nails through his hair just to grip it and tug to see if he whimpers.
Woah, settle down girl.
A tight white womens beater, stretched across his pecs, showcased his bulging arms and the pure muscle you couldn’t tear your eyes from. You were pretty sure you were drooling, but you couldn’t give a single fuck right now.
If you had to guess, you would have pinned him as a farmhand or a ranch owner from down south before he became a trainee massage therapist - it definitely would have explained his devilishly built form and his southern twang that has your knees weak.
That’s not the only reason I want my legs to be shaking.
It most definitely isn’t difficult to imagine Bucky with a cowboy hat sitting on his head, thick thighs clenching to keep himself steady riding a horse. Or how easy it is to picture him throwing stacks of hay over his shoulders, dirt covering his sweat glistened body as his pure strength gives him no trouble carrying them to the stables.
You don't even realise you still haven’t spoken a word, stood dumbstruck with your mouth gaping open and lost in your unholy thoughts about the living wet dream about to rub you up, completely forgetting another person was in the room with you.
The receptionist speaks up, “Are you comfortable with James stepping in-“
“Yes!”. Your cheeks burn hot with embarrassment from how quickly you answered, clearing your throat and steeling yourself not to continue making an idiot of yourself. “Um- yes of course, yes… not a problem at all.”
You miss Bucky’s sly little smirk as you make the effort to keep your gaze towards the floor, his tongue peaking out and wetting his lips as he gives you a once over.
Things were about to get interesting.
“So sweetheart, I’m gonna step out while you get changed, take all clothin’ off, start off with lyin’ on’ya stomach for me and cover y’lower half with a towel - I’m sure y’know the drill by now.”
Reverting your attention back onto him, your pulse quickens at his nonchalant conversing of stripping naked. Okay, it was standard procedure for the therapist to go over protocol, but that talk from him is sinfully criminal.
Walking up to the door, Bucky suddenly turns around, “Oh and don’t forget to take off the underwear too, darlin’, be back in a tick.” Bucky winks and slaps the doorframe, finally leaving the room.
Fuck my life.
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You have a couple of minutes to compose yourself before Bucky comes back. Changing out of your clothes was almost a relief - sweat clinging to your skin from meeting him and that freaking accent that drove your mind wild. Your panties seemed to agree too, considering the sticky mess that clung to your folds as you pulled them down your legs.
As you now lay face down on the table, folded towel covering your ass - back and legs on display - you anxiously wait for Bucky’s arrival, muscles subtly twitching from either your stress or the need to get fucked.
Probably both.
The door opens to your only knowledge of hearing, sight only focused on the floor from the carved head cushion allowing your face to sit through it. Goosebumps raise on your arms as you listen to the door then quietly close and footsteps get closer towards your direction.
You hold your breath when you see boots stop into your peripheral and legs bend to show a pair of thick thighs straining against the denim of his jeans.
Yep, definitely Bucky.
Lifting your head slightly to look at his face when he doesn’t speak, you choke on your spit when you find him shirtless, stomach marveled with so many abs. You would count, but you’re a little afraid you’ve lost brain cells from his presence alone. And all hope is gone when you see his jeans strung low on his waist - ‘v’ line tantalising your dignity as you wonder how morally wrong it could be to drop to your knees and lick it.
You’re not proud to say you don’t take anything he says in as Bucky begins going through what’s to be expected for your treatment. Ever the professional as you think he probably tells you what to do should you like any adjustments made with his pressure or technique. Luckily, you seem to have gotten away with it as he stands and picks up some oil, tilting your head back down to do some breathing exercises.
“Jus’ the massage today then, sweets? Y’know I wouldn’t mind throwin’ a free facial in there for y’too with the trouble y’had.”
What the fuck?
Your brain short circuits. Surely he must hear what he’s saying out loud… right?
Inwardly shaking your head, you put it down to the lack of intimacy you had gotten recently, mind conjuring illicit fantasies and turning everything he says into something dirty.
You stutter to reply, “N-no, that’s o-okay, just the massage i-is fine.”
The small smile on Bucky’s face is so innocent, like he hasn’t just rebooted your entire being. “Alrightie then darlin’, lemme get started then.”
Guess them breathing exercises went to shit.
Bucky begins slicking his hands up with the massage oil, lathering between his fingers and ensuring all crevices are glistening - especially his veins that bulge all the way up his forearm.
“I’m warnin’ y’though, I’m quite good with my hands.”
You don’t have time to stop yourself blurting the next automatic thought in your head out into the open.
“I bet you are.”
If you could slap yourself you would. Cringing in despair at your ability to make yourself look stupid. You expect things to turn awkward, for Bucky to show unease and even stop the session altogether.
To your surprise, you feel a whisper of a breath caress your neck as he mumbles the very thing to probably cause your death.
“Oh, you have no idea, darlin’.”
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The start of the massage truly had your nerves settling down and calming you enough to actually enjoy yourself. Yeah, you still struggled with keeping your cool with Bucky’s huge hands caressing you with his sensual touch, but you managed to stop your squirming and relax.
Bucky however, couldn’t keep a straight head for the life of him. Softness of your skin and the feel of your curves literally in the palms of his hands had his cock threatening to bust the zipper of his jeans.
Timid little thing you were, so skittish when you saw him and he just had to have a little fun with you. That soon backfired on him the second he got a hold of you. Fingers itching to just smooth down your luscious body and open you up like his own personal present.
Unfortunately, he had to make do with rubbing his erection against the edge of the massage table to give him some relief. You were just so sexy - a stunning face and an amazing figure - never mind how fucking adorably shy you were.
Just my type and I’ll be damned if I don’t get a piece’a ya, sweetheart.
Was it wrong for him to be thinking of a client this way? Of course. Would Bucky most definitely get fired before he’s even completed his training should anyone find out? No doubt about it. Was that going to change his mind over what he was about to do next?
Absolutely fucking not.
You had succeeded in keeping your moans and whimpers locked away when Bucky reached particularly sensitive spots on your back. No, not the ones that felt a little too tender, the places his touch elicited your growing desire - as much as you tried to hide it, he could still hear your little intakes of breaths.
But that’s not what I’m after sweetie, I wanna hear how good I’m makin’ you feel.
So, he comes up with a plan.
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“Oh darlin’, I can feel all those knots in y’upper back, been workin’ so hard ain’t ya, sweets?”
Fuck, you really had. And Bucky’s praise paired with his seductive voice makes you feel all gooey with neediness, trying to stop yourself sinking into your fuzzy headspace as you reply back. “Y-yeah, I mean I guess so.”
“How ‘bout we try somethin’ different, hm?” Bucky begins to explain, “Reckon if we got y’to bend them legs into a kneelin’ position then it’d feel so much better.”
The sincerity of his voice has you rethinking your suspicions towards how exposed you might be. You still had the towel to cover anything private and while your old therapist never suggested anything like this, Bucky may have learned something new and wanted to try it out.
So you begin to do as he’s asked. “Um, l-like this?”
“Tha’s it, arch that back for me, sweetie.” Again, you follow his instructions all too easily. “Little more for me- there ya go, jus’ like that.”
Bucky can’t help the groan that slips out as he observes the thin towel curve over the shape of your ass. You’re not much higher from the first position you were in, but the subtle lift in your legs, and bowed back allows a perfect image for him.
And a perfect chance.
“Gonna work on y’legs now, sweetheart, lemme know if somethin’ ain’t feelin’ good.”
You don’t have a chance to reply as Bucky begins to knead the muscles in your legs. An unrestrained moan escaping from your lips as he uses his thumbs to work the tension out. You feel as though you've been transported to another world, eyes rolling to the back of your head in glorious pleasure.
Meanwhile, Bucky is having the time of his life watching the jiggle of your ass every time he switches up the motion of his strokes. You don’t seem to notice the towel slowly shifting upwards, revealing the bottom of your ass cheeks to him.
He just needs your legs to spread that tiny bit more so he can see your pretty little pussy.
“That feelin’ good for ya, darlin’?”
Apparently, you let go of all inhibitions from the satisfaction Bucky’s hands bring you, all but unbashfully moaning, “Mhmm, god yes Bucky, feels so fuckin’ good.”
That’s what I love to hear.
“Amazin’. Doin’ so great for me sweetheart, jus’ let ya’self relax and Bucky will take care a ya.”
The dip of your back deepens as you unknowingly start to bring your legs more under you, ass canting up like a cat as Bucky’s thumbs rub close to the crevice under your ass cheeks.
He’s so dangerously close to his prize, he can literally see the wetness that’s spilled from your cunt, coating your inner thighs.
Fuck it.
Bracing for the worst, Bucky’s thumb runs over your pussy lips and your breath hitches as the bolt of electricity that shoots through your body. Now fully aware of his intentions, you expect yourself to feel a slither of outrage, some kind of anger at him for letting it go this far and yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to stop him.
Bucky pauses his thumbs in question, waiting to back off as soon as you deny him and allowing you the freedom of consent.
But, you want this.
The fact he stops his ministrations within an inch of your cunt has you unable to hold back your loud whine, ass pushing back into his hold to try and get him to carry on.
As much as Bucky loves your enthusiasm and he’s almost certain you want this as much as he does, he needs to hear your verbal consent in order for him to proceed. “Ah ah, sweet girl, need to know y’want this, need to hear y’say it.”
With great difficulty, fog clouding your head, you manage to mumble a whimper of agreement. “Fuck, y-yes pleaseee Bucky, give it to me.”
And that’s all the confirmation he needs.
Bucky places both thumbs on each cheek and spreads them apart to reveal your pretty, slick pussy, hole pulsing, almost begging to be filled.
You whimper as you feel his long pointer finger slide through the mess you’ve made and teasingly give your throbbing clit a little tap for good measure.
The little shit even has the audacity to chuckle at your desperation.
“Look at ya darlin’, such a fuckin’ good girl for me, ya think we can get y’a little more wet, hm?”.
He laughs at your stutter, no worries for him though, he can’t wait to make sure he leaves your head empty enough for not one single thought to cross your mind.
Bucky gently slaps your leg and bends over you to whisper in your ear, “turn around, pretty girl.”
The last defence of the towel covering your modesty falls from your body as you quickly move to lie on your back, too fucked out to even notice the breeze that hardens your nipples and exposes your tits to Bucky’s gaze.
He could’ve just picked you up and fucked you against the wall right then and there. But Bucky’s a patient man, and he’s not about to put his pleasure before yours. He wants this to last.
Straddling the table as he combs his wild hair back, Bucky grabs your thighs over his forearms with feral need to drag you down towards him, placing your legs over each of his and separating them. This was his personal slice of heaven.
The view of your cunt and the bounce of your tits has him gripping his cock over his jeans, shaky breaths rattling his chest over how turned on he is from the sight - you really were a goddess, a doll for him to play with until you couldn’t walk.
Releasing himself and grabbing the bottle of oil from the table next to him, Bucky looks directly into your eyes, his own hooded as he unscrews the lid. Your high pitched moans and whimpers have his nerves set alight and he can’t wait to see your face as you cum from his fingers alone.
“Buck-Bucky, what a-are you d-doing?”. It takes everything in you to lift yourself on to your elbows, looking down to see him hovering the bottle over your pussy.
“Y’trust me, sweet girl?”. Fuck, with that voice alone you’d put your whole faith in him.
You gently nod as you never take your eyes away from his, that wicked smirk adorning his face as his eyes light up from your answer.
“Good.”
That’s the last thing you hear before you feel the cold splash of oil drip against your pussy and your shocked moan fills the room as your arms give out.
The liquid rolls down your folds, down to your puckered hole and the thought quickly surpasses Bucky of what your reaction would be if he suggested a little anal play.
First things first, Barnes.
Right.
After emptying the remainder of the oil over you, Bucky tosses the bottle onto the floor, and begins to run his fingers over your cunt, shining in all its pleasurable glory. Trailing down to your hole, Bucky begins to press one finger inside you, stopping at the first knuckle only to take it back out and repeat his torturous teasing.
You can’t help your squirming - hands fisted tight in your hair as your toes curl. The relief of a second finger added to the first only lasts for a minute as again, he torments you by going no further than his first knuckles. All you want is for him to slide his fingers as deep as they can go, but Bucky is far too mesmerised with the glisten of his fingers and the feel of your fluttering little pussy.
“W-want more, baby, p-please Bucky, need more.”
The term of endearment as his feasted eyes snap up to look at you, has his cock twitching - you looked so fucking beautiful like this for him and the pleading in your features has him going soft on you.
Always was a sucker for pretty girls begging.
“Need more, sweetheart? Alright pretty girl, y’can have some more.”
You soon figure how Bucky was holding out on you as he fucks you with his two fingers at a quickened pace, the squelch of mixed juices from your cunt loud to your ears and you’d be embarrassed if Bucky didn’t enjoy it.
And he really did, the sound of your arousal leaking out of you because of him leaves him feeling untamed, beastly, as his veins bulge from his arms. His cock is aching, hard from how much he gets off on your pleasure - he knows he can make it better for you, though. He won’t be happy until you lose your voice because of him.
Slowing down, his deep rumble has the knot in your stomach tightening even more, “Think y’can handle another, sweetie? ‘Cause I think y’can, think this wet pussy needs to be filled up till she can’t take no more.”
With that, Bucky eases a third finger along with his other, the stretch just right to have you wailing out with consistent cries of his name.
Curling his fingers against your upper wall, Bucky searches for that spongey rough patch - he wants you to see stars and he isn’t giving up till you do.
“Hold on a sec sweets, lemme just-, find… oh, there it is.”
All of a sudden your back shoots off the table and your scream of pleasure drowns out the sounds of waterfalls in the background.
“Fuck!”
“Tha’s right darlin’, lemme hear y’scream for me.”
You grip his wrist to keep his hand fucking you, his perfect rhythm too good for you to speak something tangible. But you can’t have him changing anything, you need him to keep everything the same, so you can finish.
Bucky still finds it so fucking hot, sweat from exertion gathering on his neck and dripping down his chest. He couldn’t care less, he just wants to see you cum.
He physically has to use his free arm to force your legs open, it won’t do that you’re trying so desperately to close your legs around him. No. He wants to see you tremble in his hold. He’s fucking craving it.
“C’mon baby, know y’so close sweet girl.”
You are so fucking close, so near to that orgasm you haven’t had in so long - you’ve turned dumb, world blurring around you, only important thing in your mind getting to finish.
And you’re done for as soon as Bucky places his thumb on your swollen clit and circles.
“BUCKY!”
He watches as your shrieks fall from your mouth. Tremors rack through your body, legs finally able to close around his hand as tears from the intensity roll down your temples. You’re in your element and he’s never seen sexier in his entire life.
White cream drips from your pussy as Bucky slowly takes his fingers out, not able to help himself as he plays with your folds and starts to fuck your cum back into you.
Soon enough, you begin to calm down, heavy breathing with your occasional whine of overstimulation from his motions blessing his ears.
He leans down to pepper kisses over your heaving stomach and underneath your breasts, other hand stroking over your heated skin and up to your cheek.
“Easy girl, that’s it, deep breaths.”
Bucky continues to talk you down and strokes your sweaty hair back from your face, your eyes closed and mouth open, panting.
He stops his ministrations altogether, but keeps his fingers inside you, his body connected over yours to settle some of his weight on you and bring you back down to earth.
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Giving you a couple of minutes to come down from your fluffy clouds, Bucky analyses all your signals to make sure you’re okay and that you feel safe - and once he completes all his internal checks, he flashes you a dazzling smile.
“So… this may be a bit forward a’me, but what d’ya say I take y’out on a date tomorrow night?”
You chuckle breathlessly at his little joke - as if he didn’t already have his fingers still in your cunt. “Only if you answer my question.” you counter back.
“Sure thing, lil’ darlin’.”
Trying to keep your expression aloof you ask, “What did you do before you started training to be a massage therapist?”
He looks like a little confused puppy as he cocks his head and frowns, but answers anyway with a cheeky squint of his eyes.
“I used to work on my mama’s ranch back home, sweetheart.”
Your head rolls back onto your shoulders as Bucky begins picking up the steady pace of his fingers again, fucked out smile on your face in rememberance to your guesses from earlier.
Fucking knew it.
He may not have the slightest clue what you’re thinking, but he doesn’t have to know as long as he’s the one who’s making you smile like that.
And, he already can’t wait for your next meeting as he unbuttons his jeans and pulls down his zipper to bring his dick out and start fucking his fist while he enjoys the sight of his other hand fucking your cunt.
“Now, we got another hour to make sure ya get what y’paid for darlin’, so hold on tight and enjoy the ride.”
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A/N: who doesn’t love a happy ending, right? 😈
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whatwouldsylwrite · 1 year
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At least I got you in my head (4)
(3)
Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.
Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.
Notes: Happy pride month, guys! I feel like I committed a hate crime with this chapter, so I'm sorry. It's also longer than previous chapters by 2k. And um, the "hate crime" part (not literal hate crime, just some angst) is rushed because I really didn't enjoy writing it :/
Black haired girl is Yoon Jiwoo from My Name, and she is a badass, if you want to see some female violence go watch some edits of her.
Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)
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Caitlyn was again looking like a zombie, sipping her bitter coffee slowly. You were sitting in the coffee shop on the campus, and Caitlyn looked at you like a grumpy cat. Or a very pissed off cat. 
Caitlyn wasn't happy you distracted her (saved from exhaustion) from her studies (staring at her paper for an hour). But you didn't care as long as she sat with you and decompressed with her disgusting bitter 3-shots-of-espresso coffee. 
"You look like shit." You told Caitlyn and she glared at you. "You need to spend your weekend just sleeping for 30 hours. You can't do this to yourself."
"I'm fine." Caitlyn scoffed, but accepted the doughnut you slipped to her. "Thanks."
"I swear I will stay at your place for the weekend."
"I don't think you can be separated from Abby for so long, (y/n). Quite frankly, it makes me worried." 
Oh god, Cait had her detective face on, like she was solving a puzzle right now, and it made you nervous. 
"Why?"
"Well." Cait sipped her coffee. "You have the gay yearning in your eyes. Are you, perhaps, falling in love with her?"
"No." You cut sternly, surprising yourself. You didn't expect yourself to have such a strong reaction. "I'm not falling for a straight girl."
"Maybe falling was a strong word. You're crushing on her." The word crushing sounded so alien from Cait.
"It's manageable." You shrugged, not wanting to discuss your own weakness, but not wanting to lie to Caitlyn either. "I know I don't have a chance."
"This is quite upsetting." Caitlyn said and squeezed your hand. "I don't want you to get hurt."
"I won't, I promise. I'm not stupid." You winked and drank your coffee. "Do you want to come to her fight on Friday?"
"I have to finish that paper." Caitlyn groaned. She noticed how you narrowed your eyes on her. "I swear, I won't study during the weekend. But if I push myself I can finish it."
"I'll be at your door at 12pm on Saturday. We will go outside, have a walk in the park, go to the bookshop or whatever nerdy place you want to visit. We both can use some downtime."
Caitlyn sighed but didn't protest.
"I'll text you when I go to sleep. Count 8 hours and then show up."
You nodded, proud of Caitlyn compromising on this topic. She didn't like "wasting time" but if you said it was for your benefit too she usually agreed. You trapped her in taking care of herself by thinking she was taking care of you, and it worked well. 
"Ask Ellie to come with you to Abby's fight. I'm sure she is going to be there anyway."
"You're right." You smiled and took your phone out. You still had Ellie's number from months ago. "Have you talked to her?"
"Yes. We study together from time to time, and sometimes I invite her to play chess." 
"Good. I'm happy you found your nerdmate." You smiled at Caitlyn and she smiled back. "Or is there something else?"
"No, we're friends. Not the kind you are with Abby." Cait looked pointedly at you. "I may be speculating, but I have a feeling she is not as straight as she thinks she is."
"Well, what do you want me to do? 'Hey, Abby, I know you're so deep in the closet you met fucking Aslan but how about you change your entire worldview because I have a crush on you that I totally can get over?'" You scrunched your nose, irritated at nothing in particular. 
"Obviously not that." Caitlyn frowned like she usually did when she was stategising, as if she could find a way to get you and Abby together because she was just that smart. "Well, I think you should start dating again."
You shrugged and looked down at your phone. 
to: Ellie Williams
Hi, it's (y/n)
Are you going to Abby's fight on Friday?
from: Ellie Williams
Hi
Yeah
Wanna go together?
to: Ellie Williams
Yes
from: Ellie Williams
cool 
I'll meet you there
"I'm not going to use other people in order to get over Abby. I'm not fighting fire with fire." You said, continuing your conversation with Cait. 
"You could use a distraction." Caitlyn shrugged in return. 
"I'll just find someone to tutor." 
"And I'm a workaholic with bad habits?" Cait muttered under her breath and bit down on her second doughnut. 
Thursday nights were usually booked for the time to unwind for both of you: you'd come home late, tired and hungry after classes and lessons on campus, Abby would be already home, studying in the living room for her usual seminar on Friday, also tired. 
Abby heard the keys as you opened the door and in a few minutes you appeared in the living room.
"Hi." Abby's chest tightened at your small, quiet voice and she looked at you. 
"Hey." She said gently and panicked, not really understanding why. "You look like shit." Nice save, Anderson.
"I feel like shit." You shrugged and went to your room to take your change of clothes. 
Abby took a deep breath, trying to get her panic under control - what was that? What, she wasn't allowed to be gentle with her friends anymore? What the fuck her brain was playing at? That was concerning. For some reason she kept creating excuses why it was okay to touch you, and that wasn't even the weird, selfish part. The weird part was - why did she even need to create excuses? She was touchy with her friends, and you were touchy too, it wasn't any different from her friendship with Ellie.
But somehow it was, and Abby was confused. She tried to act chill and normal around you, sometimes getting a little more sarcastic than usual. It didn't seem to bother you, but Abby got embarrassed every time she'd suddenly treat you a little rougher because she'd get this weird panic. Honestly, it was pissing her off - you were nice to her, gentle even, and she was acting like a school boy, tugging on your pigtails. 
Just like now. You didn't look like shit, you looked lovely despite being tired, and Abby had a fucking knee jerk reaction to god knows what. 
You came back from the shower, smelling like you, and you sat next to Abby, putting your head on her shoulder. Abby stopped typing, her heart doing a micro somersault: you were so close so suddenly it scared her. Or whatever she kept telling herself, really. 
"I wanna die."
"You're just hungry." Abby murmured and pretended to be concentrating on her studies. "There's leftovers from yesterday or I can order something for you."
You made a tired sound and Abby chuckled. 
"What do you want? Thai? Indian?" 
"Nah, don't waste money, I'll cook something."
"I'm not 'wasting money'. You're tired as fuck." I want to take care of you, she wanted to say, but she was being weird again, so she didn't. "Just pick."
"Let's do rock paper scissors."
Abby won and ordered your usual while you went through the endless list of tv shows for both of you to watch. Now, when you weren't that close, Abby got back to studying - her weird panic could wait until she was done. In Abby's mind her gpa was way harder to fix than whatever emotional things she had going on. 
"Cait really likes Ellie." You said offhandedly, and Abby perked up. "In a friendly way."
"Really?" 
Abby was surprised for two reasons: Ellie had a temper and was only likeable when she was interested in someone sexually, and Cait was so out of her league it was ridiculous. 
"Yeah. They play chess and study together. Cait doesn't study with people, so I guess Ellie is special in that way."
"Wow." Abby chuckled. "I mean, Ellie is extremely smart. Is it your type?" Abby teased, continuing the bit about you crushing on Ellie. However something in her grew anxious at the thought of learning what your type was.
"It's more about her arms, you know." You laughed, looking a little embarrassed at the admission. 
Something felt hot in Abby’s chest as she looked down at her own arms. She looked back at you and flexed her bicep to see your reaction, and it was worth it: you looked dazed for a second before quickly looking away, flustered. Abby laughed at you and you hit her on her arm, embarrassed. 
“Fuck you.” You laughed too, and Abby felt too good in this moment, just laughing and teasing you; she never wanted it to end. "What is your type?"
Abby blinked. Her type? She never gave it a thought before: relationships weren’t something she was too invested in, it never seemed to be worth the effort. She never experienced this head over heels love everyone was talking about, so she never cared to run after boys.
"I don't really have a type." Abby said, thinking back to her not-so-long list of exes. "You know, with men if he is not an asshole it's already a win."
You laughed and Abby smiled, her confusion about not having a type going away.
"Great, we're definitely going to have a perfect love life with these standards." You chuckled and laid back on the sofa, letting Abby get back to her study. 
Abby's favourite part of Thursdays was happening around 10pm, when you'd finish washing the dishes - today it was putting everything in the bin - and Abby'd get her excessive amount of pillows and blankets so you two could cuddle and watch the next episode of the ridiculous show you both were too invested in. 
"Come on, come here." Abby said a little impatiently while you were putting some pillows away. 
"I'm not the one who made a fucking fort out of pillows." You grumped but soon enough you put your head on Abby's shoulder, your hands tucked in front of your chest. Abby always expected you to hug her around her middle, but you never did, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. 
Sometimes, very rarely, when you'd get too tired, you'd fall asleep on Abby's chest, and Abby never had the heart to wake you up. You already showered, everything was clean and you didn't have any tasks to do, so why would she wake you up? Just so you could walk to your bedroom, your sleep interrupted? No. 
Abby looked down where your head was, curious if you were asleep after the episode ended, but you looked up just as she lowered her head, and fuck you were too close. So close Abby's heart fucking malfunctioned and started beating five times faster. She could feel your breath on her face and something was demolishing under her ribcage - it happened in a matter of seconds and you moved away, creating the distance between you, but Abby was so scared in that moment she didn't breathe. 
"Do you need to study?" You asked as you moved away and sat next to her. Abby tried not to feel disappointed at losing your warmth. 
"I'm done, actually. I feel kinda confident about tomorrow, you know?"
Abby stood up and started tidying up the living room, putting everything in its place.
"You're smart, Abby. You'd nail that seminar, I promise." 
"Thanks, (y/n). You're coming tomorrow to my fight, right?"
"Yeah. I even cleared my schedule for it." You said, pleased with yourself and Abby smiled. "But I'll kill you if you get hurt, you hear me? No missing punches."
Abby laughed and came closer to you, refusing to feel weird about being affectionate with you. It was fine. 
"I will be careful, I promise." Abby murmured as she leaned down and kissed your forehead. "Don't want to get in trouble with a woman who feeds me."
"Damn right." You said sternly. "Good night, Abby."
"Night, (y/n)."
You only had a vague idea about MMA fights: you were never really interested in sports, let alone violent sports, but well, Abby invited you so you decided to give it a shot. You weren't sure you'd like it (seeing Abby being punched? No thank you), but Abby wouldn't have invited you if it wasn't important to her, right?
Or were you fantasising again? Making a big deal out of nothing? Fuck, it was getting harder and harder to keep yourself in check with these things. Abby was sweet, and you were weak for sweet girls. 
You tried not to get delusional when your suspicion got too strong - was it intuition or wishful thinking? Were you seeing things that weren't there or were you ignoring what was? You didn't know, and yeah, it was manageable, but also - it drove you crazy. You couldn’t live like this, questioning Abby’s every move and every word.
Maybe you should have talked to her about the possibility of her not being straight, but her best friend was a lesbian, surely Abby had a moment to reflect on her own sexuality like some straight girls did when they found out their friend was gay. Abby was smart, she’d have figured it out already. 
God you thought you weren’t that stupid, but you were failing not to fall for Abby for a month and a half already. Hubris is a bitch, huh.
Ellie met you outside the place where the fight would take place fifteen minutes before the start. She looked good, as attractive as always - yes, (y/n), you needed to look at women you actually had a chance with, good job, keep it up - and the look she gave you suggested she thought the same about you. She even took your hand in hers as she led you to your seats, and you didn’t protest - somehow Ellie being touchy felt natural, and her cool hand felt nice on your skin. You sat together and you looked around.
“There’s supposed to be medics around, right?” 
“Yeah, but Abby doesn’t get super injured, she’ll be fine.”
“Have you seen her face? I almost went into cardiac arrest when I saw her.” 
“That’s her usual day at practice.” Ellie shrugged, her thigh warm against yours as she moved closer to hear you better. “Don’t worry, she can take a lot more than that. She is tough and intimidating, and she actually knows how to duck. But if you tell her I said it - your ass is grass.”
You laughed at Ellie's words and she smiled back. She explained to you how the fight was going to happen, and you felt a little hopeful - how much damage can happen in a five minute round? Not a lot, right? Right?
There were other fights too, and you had time to adjust to the overall violence of it all. You didn't know the girls who were fighting, but even then when a stranger got hit you couldn't help but flinch. Ellie noticed how stressed you were getting, so she took your hand in hers to ground you. The touch was definitely easy between the two of you, and it was comforting, so you squeezed her hand back. 
"I don't know if I'd survive this." You laughed and Ellie squeezed your hand back. 
"Look, they're all fine. No blood, no bruises." 
"The standards are too low, Ellie. You're in sports too, right?"
"If you call skateboarding a sport then yeah. I'm a hell of an athlete." Ellie snorted. 
"You should've taken Abby with you." 
"Babe, she has been in martial arts since she was four. I'm pretty sure she'd have kicked my ass if I asked her to leave MMA."
You laughed at this, a little bit confused: Ellie was behaving like Ellie you knew, not Ellie that was studying with Cait three times a week. The difference was intriguing. 
Finally Abby's name was announced and you got tense, bracing yourself. But when she walked to the cage, you forgot how to breathe for a totally different reason: she was so intimidating and confident, her defined shoulders rolled back in a threat, and you just couldn't help yourself. She was hot. She was so hot you pressed your thighs together as your eyes roamed over her trained body that screamed power and dominance, her top and shorts letting you see her abs and thighs that could crush your head if Abby wanted to. Fuck. 
Mark you as scared and horny. 
Her opponent was similar to her in size, and you watched with wide eyes as they approached each other after the bell rang. Abby was light on her feet, not too fast as previous fighters, but she timed her punches well, immediately cornering her opponent. But the girl was quick to recover as she landed some punches on Abby's side with her legs and you gasped, terrified.
"Abby's okay." Ellie said to you and you finally exhaled, not looking away from the cage. 
It was the most stressful eighteen minutes of your life, and the relief you felt when Abby was getting the upper hand and she was punching instead of getting punched, was immeasurable. Abby didn't really let her opponent corner her, her face had that calculated expression as if she knew every way this fight could go. That was comforting, but not as comforting as hearing the last bell and seeing Abby's black glove raised in the air to show her win. 
"That was so intense." You admitted as you relaxed in your seat and Ellie laughed, her hands stroking your thigh. 
"Believe me, it wasn't. You need to watch Abby's previous fights, there's some intense shit."
"No thank you." You said. "Do we wait for her or? What the fuck we are supposed to do, actually?"
"She told me to meet her at the party, so we can head out. Are you going to the party?"
"I dunno." You admitted sheepishly. "I have plans tomorrow."
"Come on, it will be fun. You can leave early and still get your beauty sleep. I can even set an alarm for you, Cinderella."
"Okay-okay. I'll leave at midnight." 
Abby arrived at the party a little later than she planned, but at least everyone was already having fun and not yet wasted. She quickly grabbed a beer and went through people to find Ellie and then find you - in Abby's head you were supposed to be with her. Ellie, however, was talking to her other friends - that was how Abby referred to anyone Ellie befriended in university - she was laughing and you were nowhere in sight. 
Ellie noticed her and went for a hug, patting her back.
"(Y/n) said your fight was 'so intense'." Ellie laughed and Abby laughed too, because they both knew Abby had way worse fights. "Congrats on not having your ribs broken."
"You're so sweet." Abby said mockingly. "What did I do to have such a supportive, caring best friend?"
"Nothing you should be proud of." 
"Have you seen (y/n)? I kinda thought she'd be with you."
"Yeah, she was talking to some girl." Oh. "Close to the bar." 
Something not really pleasant filled Abby's chest after Ellie's words, something like disappointment. She expected to see you there, but you were somewhere else, talking to someone else. 
Abby took a sip of her beer and went in the direction Ellie told her to find you. And yes, there you were, talking to a black haired girl Abby didn't know. It looked like the conversation was friendly, and the other girl didn't stand too close to you, which brought Abby relief - what the fuck was wrong with her? Why was she so uncomfortable with seeing you with someone else? What the fuck?
She walked through people to get closer to you, and when you turned your head you saw her and smiled. Abby smiled back and watched you touch the other girl's forearm, saying your goodbyes. The girl smiled at you and motioned at her phone as you nodded before she started to walk away. When Abby came to you, the girl wasn't there anymore and your smile was only directed at Abby, and it calmed her down, the normalcy of your life getting back. 
"Congratulations!" You hugged Abby tightly and she hugged back, stroking your back on instinct. 
"Did you like it?" Abby already knew the answer, but she really wanted to tease you. 
"Liked seeing people getting punched? No."
"But what about all those arms, hm?" 
"I swear to god, Abby." You elbowed her and Abby laughed. 
"Was it your friend?" Abby asked cautiously, trying to pass her curiosity as something casual. 
"Hm?"
"The girl you were talking to. I didn't want to interrupt, sorry." Was she really sorry? Maybe. 
"Oh, don't worry." You said, not answering Abby's question, and it made her feel not good. "Are you feeling okay though?"
"You're such a mother hen." Abby rolled her eyes. "My side is bruised, and she got my lip, but otherwise I'm fine."
"Great."
Abby spent the next hour glued to your side, talking to you: it was fun to be with you outside your shared apartment. Yeah, you spent time together on weekends, but being around a lot of people Abby knew and showing who she was friends with (yup, people knew you because you were a tutor on campus and a lot of them swore they got their credits thanks to you) was a cool feeling. Abby felt cool because she was friends with you. 
"I have plans tomorrow with Caitlyn." You said as you checked the time on your phone. "I'll head out."
"Already?"
"Yeah. But you have fun, okay? Call me if you need me." 
"Need you?" Abby raised her eyebrow.
"What if you get so drunk you'd need assistance?" You teased and hugged Abby. "Have fun! See you at home."
"Okay, mom." Abby laughed and watched you leave, just a bit sad. 
She found Ellie and hung out with her friends until she needed a refill of her beer. And while she was waiting for her beer, someone scooted closer to her and coughed, catching her attention. 
Abby turned her head to see a guy her age with a stubble. He smiled at her and Abby smiled back, a little confused.
"I was at your fight today." He said as he looked her over, and Abby got thrills from his attention. "You know how to throw a punch."
"Thanks." Abby said, pleased. Guys rarely liked the fact she could fuck them up, and hearing a guy saying she was good was ego boosting. 
"I'm Owen." He stretched his hand for a handshake, and Abby took it.
"Abby." 
The vibration of notifications woke you up and you expected to see Caitlyn’s message saying she finally went to sleep. You checked the time - 3am - and looked at your notifications. Indeed, Caitlyn messaged you half an hour ago with “if i see you earlier than 12pm ill kill you”, but there were other notifications. 
from: Abby
Hi im with a boy
sorry
promise we won’t be loud 
Your heart sank, but you didn’t even have time to process your emotions as you heard the front door open and people talking in hushed voices. Of fucking course you woke up just in time to hear Abby come home with a guy. They quickly made their way to Abby’s bedroom, trying to be quiet, but you got hyper aware of every noise. Fuck.
It hurt, and it hurt even more because you were so fucking stupid. You knew from the beginning Abby would never be interested in you because you were a girl, but the safety of your apartment where the two of you existed in your small little bubble made you delusional. 
Abby was just affectionate and touchy, and you were stupid and read it the way you wanted to read it, getting your hopes up. Stupidstupidstupid
You heard the bed creak on the other side of the wall and your throat tightened. Abby liked guys and she was having sex with a guy right now while you felt your heart crush, because you overestimated yourself and thought you could easily manage your feelings. 
The problem was that you forgot that feelings were not manageable and not something you could compromise with. You couldn’t just decide not to feel something and then actually stop feeling it. This mindset trapped you into repression and repression could only go so far, and now the fucking dam was broken. 
You were in love with Abby, and you had no chance and Caitlyn was right: you were hurting yourself. 
You didn’t cry, keeping your composure and snickering at the lack of the noise from the other side: either Abby was very quiet in bed or the sex wasn’t good. That thought made you feel better, not for any noble reason: you were hurt and you wanted Abby to not feel good too, and you didn’t really care at that moment that it wasn’t her fault.
Somehow you fell asleep, not bothered by any noise - that made you smile cruelly again - and you tried not to think about this situation and your own feelings.
Caitlyn was right, you needed a distraction. 
Abby woke up with a pleasant ache in her body and her head hurting just a little. Her bed was empty and she was relieved - she didn’t like to wake up next to someone she barely knew. 
Well, knew enough to have sex with him, but not enough to wake up next to him. Abby genuinely liked Owen - he was easy going and polite, and honestly? Maybe you were right when you said you didn’t really need to know someone to hook up with them. And hey, Abby was so touch-starved she was too touchy with you, so it seemed like a great idea yesterday. It felt like it worked - she was probably too lonely the whole time and now she was relaxed and there was no pull to go and cuddle you. It made her feel guilty - if she stopped wanting to be close to you after she hooked up then it meant she was just selfish this whole time, substituting what she actually needed with whatever she could get from you.
Yeah, she didn’t feel like a good person right now. 
Abby stood up from her bed and assessed the damage: two bruises on her inner thighs and a hickey on her collarbone, not that bad. She didn’t like when guys left marks on her - it mostly caused problems with covering up, but Owen was kinda good with not leaving marks everywhere. 
Abby put her clothes on and made her way to the bathroom when she felt her chest tighten with anxiety: not only Owen was still here, but he was talking to you. Shit. 
Abby felt bad for bringing someone home without actually discussing it with you beforehand and now you were making small talk at 11am with a guy who was supposed to leave a long time ago. 
Owen noticed Abby and smiled at her, and she smiled back. 
“Morning.” He looked down at her neck and Abby blushed a little. 
“Morning.” Abby responded and waited for Owen to come closer to her.
He put his hands on her waist and kissed her on the cheek and Abby melted a little.
“Sorry, I have to go already, but text me anytime.” Owen murmured before leaving a small peck on her lips and Abby nodded. 
Owen left and Abby went to the kitchen where you were drinking tea and looking ready for the day while Abby felt like a mess. The guilt overpowered her and she sat on the chair opposite of you.
“Sorry for yesterday, I know we haven’t discussed bringing people over.” Abby said, but you smiled at her.
“Hey, we are young and horny, can’t blame you for getting your stress relief.” You chuckled kindly, and Abby felt relieved. “He didn't seem like a total asshole.”
Abby laughed, knowing it was a pick at her standards.
“Well, just as you said, don’t really have to know him to hook up with him.”
“See, you’re learning.” You nodded your head approvingly and Abby laughed again. “Actually, while we’re still on the topic, can I bring girls over?”
“I mean, yeah, I think as long as we don’t disturb each other, everything is a fair game.” Who was Abby to deny your own needs when she literally brought a guy over?
“Oh, okay. Thanks.” You didn't look too happy right now, and it confused Abby to a degree, but she didn't ask.
What Abby didn’t know in that moment, that by giving you permission to bring girls over, she started the end of it all.
--------
To: Yoon Jiwoo
Hi! 
Would you like to grab a coffee with me?
480 notes · View notes
milktei · 1 year
Note
hi! i really fell in love with your “again” fic with sakusa. it was so amazing & i really liked how you wrote it. i was wondering if you can write another fic with that same concept but with suna?
Fine
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Suna Rintarou x Reader
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
Warnings: Suna is probably a bit ooc. not edited
Requests: Open
a/n: first of all i would like to let anon know HOW SORRY I AM FOR TAKING LITERALLY OVER A YEAR TO POST THIS. I LOVE YOU ANON AND IF YOU ARE STILL IN THE FANDOM I HOPE THIS IS OKAY. THIS WAS HALF FINISHED IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG AND I FINALLY BIT THE BULLET
on another note requests are still open somehow but i can’t guarantee that they will be finished efficiently :’)
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You weren’t sure when the rift started.
You two were happy, at least you thought you were.
He would bring you little gifts after practice, eat meals with you any chance he got, either plan or agree to go on dates with you.
Until he didn’t.
Maybe he got too comfortable after so long of together. Maybe he thought he didn’t need to do much to woo you anymore. To an extent he didn’t, but him completely failing to put any effort into the relationship hurt.
He was on his phone more, staying at practice late, practically ignoring you when you would hang out, all without any explanation.
One date. One night not spent in an apartment is all you asked for.
After weeks of trying he finally agreed. An awkward dinner were trying to keep a conversation going felt like pulling teeth.
Your displeasure with him was palpable from when you got in the car all they way to his apartment where you two now stood.
“What is it?” he asked with annoyance ringing through the air.
You sighed as you sat on the couch “I…” you swallowed, almost afraid to tell him “I’m not very happy with how today went.”
Suna scoffed, “You’re talking as if that’s fault or something.
You winced “Well it didn’t seem like you were enjoying yourself either.”
He raised an eyebrow at you tone and threw his arms in the air. “I did what you asked y/n! We went on that damn date didn’t we? I even invited you over! What more could you possibly want?”
Time seemed to slow down in that moment. What more could you possibly want? Surely he knew? How could you possibly answer that without making him even more mad?
Clenching your hands, staring angrily at the ground, you could only say what came to mind.
“How did we end up like this Rin? It’s like we’re strangers again.”
For a moment you could have sworn you saw a shift in his posture, a subtle recoil, but it disappeared in a moment and was replaced by a more rigid stance.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you y/n but I’ve been feeling just fine. if you don’t like it you can just leave.”
The venom in his words was unlike anything you have ever heard come from his mouth. This wasn’t the man who you fell in love with. The man who stuttered endlessly when he first asked you out. The same man who took pictures of you any chance he could because you always looked good in his eyes.
No. This man was aloof, uncaring, detached.
He was not your Suna Rintarou.
“Fine.”
A beat of silence.
“Fine?” Suna echoed back. You hated that you couldn’t read any emotions in the tone of voice he used.
“Fine,” you said feeling more confident with your decision.
No longer feeling cemented to where you sat, you grabbed your bag from the couch, storming to the front door where you ripped open the closet to grab your coat. as you jammed your feet into your shoes you took a couple deep breaths.
“So you’re leaving? Just like that?”
You inhaled sharply and turned to him, angry tears filling your eyes. “You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you pointed at him accusingly “not after everything you did, not after everything I did to try to make this work. This isn’t my fault and you don’t get to make it seem like it was.”
The only sound that filled the room was your angry breathing and in a moment you turned on your heel and left the apartment
——————
That memory from months ago rang clear in your mind as you stared at the man in front of you dumbfounded. There he was, standing at your door. He nervously scratched the back of his head as he held out a bouquet of flowers to you
The state he was in was nearly a mirror image of when he first asked you out.
“I’m sorry.”
You had half the mind to slam the door in his face.
But you didn’t
That lovesick part of your brain that you desperately tried to shove back wriggled its way free and you take back the man that had put you through so much pain.
That leads to where the two of you are right now. Months after he showed up with those flowers.
You had initially planned to go to the mall alone, just to buy a friend a gift for their upcoming birthday.
Suna had the day off and when you told him of your plans, he surprised you by asking to tag along.
While at first you were elated to be in his company. A cloud of dread sat in the back of your mind.
He was trying, you could give him that.
Flowers, home cooked meals, cafe dates, and daily calls. Everything you could’ve dreamed and asked for all those months ago.
That was the problem though. He was doing everything you begged for and now you couldn’t tell for the life of you if it was genuine or not.
It was irrational and unhealthy to be thinking this way. To think that Suna was only being a better boyfriend because you asked him to and not because he actually wanted to.
But how could you think any other way with how he had treated you before?
Still, you walked through the mall with him, hand in hand, just like before.
A particular shift caught you eye in a store, one that wasn’t your friends style, but definitely yours. Suna could tell from the look in your eyes that you liked it.
“You thinking of getting that shirt babe? I can get it for you.”
You looked at him like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar and forced out a giggle “No thank you Rin, I was just looking.”
His smile faltered the tiniest bit “Alright.”
The rest of your shopping trip was uneventful and you eventually found what you were looking for.
It was when you got in the car that he tried again, “Why don’t we grab some ice cream before we go home? There’s a new place on the way to your apartment.”
He rejoiced at the subtle excitement that showed on your face
“Only if you would like to. We don’t have to.”
He nearly groaned in despair at your response.
“y/n”
You stiffened in shock at the seriousness in his voice “Yes?”
“Somethings bothering you.”
it wasn’t a question, it was a statement that Suna was waiting for you to confirm.
“What are you talking about?”
He sighed “I’m not going to sit here in silence again when I know somethings wrong. Something has been wrong for a while now.”
“Nothings wrong!” you shout defensively. Shocking even yourself. You turn your gaze to your lap and nervously wrench your hands together.
Silence filled the car
“Well now I’m even less inclined to believe you.”
You let out a sad chuckle at his response and take a deep breath before telling him what’s been on your mind since you got back together.
“It just feels like nothing will ever be like how it used to be.”
He kept silent and you took it as a cue to keep talking. You weren’t sure you would be able to stop even if you tried
“How am I supposed to act like nothing happened! They way you spoke to me back then…and then expected me to stay, getting mad at me for “throwing away” what we had, even though you knew I was unhappy.”
Tears fill your eyes but Suna dared not invade your space in a moment so vulnerable
“Then all of a sudden you come back and I can’t find it in myself to day no because I wanted you to do better so badly- and you are!
You’re putting more effort into this, but I can’t help but feel bitter sweet because I can only think about how your only trying because I asked. I wonder everyday if any of this is genuine or if you’re just comfortable having me around and then one day you’ll realize that this isn’t for you and leave again.”
The amount of despair that filled Suna was immeasurable. His mind filled with doubt and screamed at him at all the ways he could’ve done better and how he never deserved you.
Still, he reached out a hand and waited for you to grab it.
“I should have never let you leave that day y/n. I knew that from the moment that door shut, but I was too stupid, too proud, too afraid of what would happen if I chased after you.”
His grip tightened, “and like a coward I waited, hoping that maybe you would come back instead of me having to take that step.”
Suns let out a self deprecating laugh “It took me way too long to realize that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Me waiting for all you love on a silver platter when you got none in return.”
He turned as much as he could in his spot and grabbed your other hand. You looked up at his face and almost gasped at the amount of love and earnest that showed on a normally expressionless face.
“I understand that you think that I may only be putting this much effort because you asked. But you shouldn’t be afraid to ask y/n, not anymore. Trust me, while I am doing what you asked it’s also because I want to make you happy. Every time I think about that day I get so angry at the fact that I made you so desperate for the bare minimum.”
“Please y/n, anything you want just ask and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I don’t make you sad again.”
You couldn’t help yourself and leaned across the centre console of the car, hugging him as best as you could as tears finally began to flow.
“How do I know this isn’t just going to go back to the way it was? You could very easily fall back into that habit.” You said through sobs.
“I know” Suna sighed
You pulled back “You know?”
“I know” he confirmed, “but I promise to do whatever I can to make this right y/n, you tell me if your unhappy and I will do my best to fix whatever I’ve done and ensure that we’ll be fine.”
A beat of silence filled the car before you let out a small laugh through your sobs. Suna’s heart fluttered at the first sound of happiness you let escape for the first time in a while.
You lifted a hand and messily wiped away your tears, “This is an awful place to have a heart to heart moment”
He smiled at you with all the love under the sun and cupped your cheek. “There’s a lot that we still need to work through, it’ll take some time. But how about I take you to that ice cream place first?”
You beamed at him, “Okay”
Yeah, you two would be just fine.
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literallyjusttoa · 23 days
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Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!
But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)
And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.
Ok now for big Project Time!!!
I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.
I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:
BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.
Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)
Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)
Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)
Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.
And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.
Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)
Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation
the ability to request topics for videos
Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)
This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.
Discounts on commissions
A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.
All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh
Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?
If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3
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writethrough · 2 years
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The Accident That Led Me to You (Part II)
(Morpheus x Female Reader)
Synopsis: You and Morpheus finally go on that date.
Warnings: Feelings of unworthiness, fluff, mutual pining, Death and Lucienne being the ultimate wing-women
Word Count: 2542
A/N: Here it is! Part two! Grammarly decided to be a bitch today and not help me edit. Also, I don't know why I'm doing this to myself, but what about part three?
Read Part I
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If the emissary and janitor of the Dreaming had gotten wages, neither would’ve been happy. A month had passed since that day in the library. You and Morpheus were still making cow eyes at each other, Matthew and Merv kept renewing their bet, and Lucienne had enough of you four. Death, on the other hand, was greatly amused by both of you.
You were a close friend to her now. Despite her compassion and kindness, she didn’t have many. She practically jumped at the opportunity your strange circumstance put you in. Not that either of you minded.
Though Death was busy frequently, she always made time to see you. Now, curled up on your couch with wine, you couldn’t help the giggles as she told you a story about a younger Morpheus.
“It’s true! He doubted me, and I had to prove him wrong!” She said it like it was the obvious thing to do.
“But did you have to steal the horse?” You pursed your lips, trying not to laugh.
She shrugged. “I had to make an entrance.”
You both erupted into more giggles.
You could only imagine the look on Morpheus’ face when all of this happened. Did his lips tug into a smirk? Were his eyes alight with amusement at his sister’s antics?
It wasn’t until Death spoke that you realized you’d gone quiet.
“So…” she drawled, giving you an expectant look. “How are you and my dear brother?”
You groaned, knowing exactly where she was going with this.
“We’re fine,” you said, taking a big gulp.
“Just fine?”
You nodded, avoiding her gaze.
“You looked cozy when I dropped by the other night,” she said.
She had arrived in the Dreaming a few nights ago to talk to Morpheus. When she didn’t find him in his throne room, she searched and discovered you and him in the library. Lucienne was off somewhere while you were shoulder-to-shoulder over a book. Death would’ve made herself scarce if Morpheus hadn’t caught movement out of his periphery. Later, when she questioned her brother about it, he said nothing was happening between you two.
“Come on, (Y/N)! When are you going to ask him out?” she whined, gripping your wrist.
“Why would I ask him out?” You pretended to be clueless.
“Because you like him!” she said, exasperated. “And he likes you.”
“Has he told you that?” You weren’t expecting her to answer.
“He literally doesn’t stop asking about you,” she said. 
“Oh.” You paused. “Do you really think it’s a good idea?”
She pinched the bridge on her nose. “You are both going to be the death of me.”
You snorted and couldn’t help bursting into laughter, and she soon joined you.
No matter how long Morpheus stood in front of his soon-to-be creations, he couldn’t seem to finish them.
Half-formed shapes and featureless bodies could not focus him. Instead, he thought of you.
What were you doing at this moment? Did you start a new book, or were you still stuck on the previous one? Were you having a good day? When would you go to sleep so he could see you? Should he visit you before you go to bed so he could see you sooner—
“My lord?” Lucienne broke him from his thoughts.
“Yes, Lucienne?” He continued to face his would-be dreams, intent to appear as if he were busy.
“Are you alright, my lord?” she asked tentatively. “You seem distracted.”
Of course, his librarian could read him like a…well, like an open book.
“There’s no need to concern yourself. I am alright.”
There was a moment of silence. Morpheus could feel Lucienne wanting to speak.
“Is there anything else, Lucienne?”
She clasped her hands in front of her. “If I may…you and (Y/N), you’ve gotten quite close.”
“I suppose,” he said, smearing a wave of hair onto one creation to distract himself.
“And you enjoy her company—greatly,” she added.
“Yes.” His reply was a bit drawn out as if he didn’t know where the librarian was going.
“It’s just…I believe she’d be happy if you were to tell her. And…”
Morpheus now fully faced her. “And?”
“And perhaps you should both stop mooning over one another and do something about it,” she said, letting a breath of her exasperation slip through.
Morpheus, shocked at her outburst, could only think of one thing to say.
“I’m not mooning over (Y/N).” His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink.
“My lord.” It amazed him how Lucienne could twist his title, like she said, “We both know you’re lying.”
The look in her eyes made him divulge his hesitance.
“How could something possibly come from us? It…It could not last.” He let his gaze linger over her shoulder, recalling why they had been able to meet in the first place.
Lucienne gave him an understanding smile and took a step forward. “We both know there is no such thing as an ending. Only new beginnings. Perhaps this is one the both of you must start together.”
Her words sunk into his bones. Death had never been final—it did not signify extinguishment. It was simply a transition. One which (Y/N) somehow avoided before meeting him. But maybe that transition was taking on another form—one that could begin with a simple question.
You and Morpheus had just left Cain, Abel, and Goldie. The young gargoyle was rapidly growing and was ever the playful creature. Though, she tired fast, too. Goldie spent most of her time curled up on your lap, sleeping.
“Abel grows more worried each time you visit,” Morpheus said as you walked back to his castle.
Your brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Why would he be worried?”
“He fears Goldie will want you instead of him.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please, she loves him and Cain too much to ever leave.” You squeezed his arm slightly. “And besides, I can’t take care of a growing gargoyle part-time. I’d need to move in if that were the case.”
“That can be arranged.”
You stopped, your hand on his arm halting him as well.
“You’d let me live here?” You both got along well, but would he really want you invading his space?
“If you wished, yes,” he said, earnestness in his eyes.
“Would that even be allowed? How would that even work?” You were mortal. And alive. You knew Matthew had been a human, and Cain and Abel were invited by Morpheus to stay here, but all of them were technically dead.
“I am the ruler of this realm, (Y/N). Of course, it’s allowed.”
“But wouldn’t I have to die?” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a bit worried.
He chuckled. “No, I would never suggest it if that were the case. And you’d be free to come and go as you please. I would not keep you from your life.”
“Oh.” You sighed, relaxing. “That’s reassuring. The not dying thing. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”
“Good.” He gave you a gentle smile.
You stood there, taking each other in.
His eyes never left you. Usually, you’d shrink away if someone paid this much attention to you, but Morpheus always made you comfortable. It was uncanny how connected you felt to him, and sometimes it scared you. But you couldn’t shake the feeling of something more. Maybe Death was right. Maybe her brother did have a soft spot for you.
You hadn’t noticed you had returned his smile, and it was the way he glanced down at your lips that had you speaking before you could think.
“Would you want to go on a date with me?”
A few days later, you sat with Lucienne, trying to figure out what a date with an Endless should look like.
“Whatever you plan, he will enjoy,” Lucienne reassured you.
“But how will I even know he’s enjoying it?” You sighed, exasperated. “It’s not like his face will show it! Honestly, it’d be easier to read Moby Dick in Mandarin.”
“I’m afraid the closest you’ll get is reading it in Chinese,” she said without looking up at you.
You brushed her comment off with a wave of your hand.
“You know what I mean.”
She set her pencil down. “Yes, I do. And I also know his lordship. He would not have agreed to a date with you if he wasn’t completely interested. You could take him to watch paint dry, and he’d be happy.”
You considered what she said. It was true—Morpheus had no issue denying someone. He also seemed…content when you were around. After all, he was the one to approach you after you ran away from him and his sister.
“It’s just…I want him to have the best time. He’s this powerful entity who’s had all these experiences. What am I going to do that could ever keep his interest?” How could you ever compare to him?
“(Y/N),” she said, gaining your attention. “You keep his interest. All you have to do is share the same space, and he’s entranced. Not to be rude, but it’s why nothing ever gets done anymore. His lordship’s nearly useless when you’re around.”
“...I’m sorry?” you said, uncertain if she wanted an apology.
“There’s no need. I’m hoping once you’re in a relationship, everything will be in order again.”
“A relationship?” Would Morpheus want to take things that seriously that quickly?
“(Y/N),” she gave you an “are you serious” look, “he’s—oh, what’s the colloquialism—he’s whipped.”
Your biggest concern about your date tonight wasn’t if Morpheus would show up or not—no, he would never stand you up—it was if he’d like what you had planned. What kind of first date would an immortal being enjoy? Dinner and a movie seemed too simple. A museum had sounded intimate initially, but frankly, you weren’t interested in looking at anything other than him. You landed on an evening at the local fair.
It was during a weeknight, so it wasn’t that crowded. And you could snack on fair food as you walked around and talked. There were benches scattered around the grounds. And in an hour, music would play at the stadium near the back.
You told him to meet you at the front gate. You had to force yourself not to play with the beginnings of a hangnail as you scanned the incoming people. He had a few minutes before he’d be late, but he was a king. He had better things to do than go on a silly little date with y—
“(Y/N).”
You turned, and there he stood. The first thing you noticed was his smile. Though small, it was gentle, and his eyes were bright. He seemed lighter somehow.
His gaze slid down your form, and heat settled in your cheeks when he looked up again.
“You look beautiful,” he said, and if he couldn’t tell you were already blushing, he could once he pressed his lips to your cheek.
“Thank you,” you whispered, then cleared your throat. “Shall we?”
He nodded, still giving you that look, and held out his arm.
Once inside, you pulled him to your favorite hot cider stand.
Walking around the various vendors, you pointed out different spots you had tried and reminisced about your family and friends.
“The look on his face when she proposed was priceless,” you said, gesturing to a bench in front of a stack of hay bales. “Then he pulled out the ring he got for her as his answer.”
“They are fortunate to have found one another,” he said. “Not many can say they’ve found their love.”
“No, they can't.” You led him to the bench, needing to rest your feet for a moment. After brushing the hay off the seat, you sat shoulder to shoulder, the band starting up.
“It’s a common dream—and nightmare,” Morpheus said. Then, after a pause. “Tell me, what is your dream?”
You opened your mouth, not sure where to begin.
“I…well, after what happened, I want to try everything,” you said. “I want to travel, and explore, and…and find love.” You breathed out a laugh. “I guess my dream is to just…live.”
The look he gave you was one you couldn’t decipher. He was focused, maybe searching, trying to figure out a puzzle you weren’t aware had something to do with you.
Then, his features relaxed. “If I can help you achieve those dreams. I will.”
You blinked. There was no sign of a lie or uncertainty. He wanted to see you succeed. And before you could say or do something to embarrass yourself, you returned his question.
“What about you? What’s your dream?”
His brow furrowed as he considered your words.
“I…I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that.”
“Really?” He was the embodiment of dreams—surely someone had wanted to know what the Dream Lord wished for.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ve had dreams, but now…I haven’t thought about them in ages.”
You hummed. “We can help each other then. If there’s anyone who deserves to accomplish their dreams, it’s you.”
His eyes grew wide. And just because it was so rare to see him surprised, you continued.
“I’ll be your own personal Queen of Dreams,” you teased, wiggling your fingers as if casting a spell.
He chuckled. “I quite like the sound of that.”
“Good.” You then realized a slow song was coming from the stadium, and an idea popped up. Before you lost your nerve, you stood, holding out a hand to him.
“Dance with me?” You smiled when he placed his hand in yours without a second thought.
His hands rested on your waist, and he pulled you close.
Your arms wound on his shoulders as you swayed, not noticing the glances and small smiles thrown your way.
Morpheus’ thumb grazed your side softly, a breath of a touch.
“Thank you. For tonight,” he said, eyes boring into yours.
You tilted your head. “Does that mean you enjoyed yourself?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I always enjoy it when we’re together.”
Heat pooled into your cheeks as you let out a nervous chuckle and looked down.
He returned your gaze to him with a hooked finger under your chin.
“I believe this is when I request your company for our next date. Or am I mistaken?” The slight narrowing of his eyes suggested he was trying to remember.
“I don’t think the social rules apply to us,” you said. “And I would love to.”
His smile made your stomach all fuzzy.
“Tomorrow?” he asked, hopeful.
His tone emboldened you to answer with a kiss on his cheek.
“Sounds perfect.”
Morpheus was in his throne room, preparing for your next date when Death arrived. She strolled in, whistling.
“So, when can I expect a wedding invitation?” Death teased.
Morpheus shook his head slightly with a small smile and played into her. “I already asked her to move in with me, unintentionally.”
Death laughed. “Your first date, and you already want to cohabitate.”
“It was before.” His reply was somewhat hesitant, knowing his sister would enjoy that information a little too much.
She clutched her side, still giggling. “Oh, little brother, you’ve got it bad.”
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mircsy · 2 months
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hi! so I absolutely love your animatics for epic the musical and was curious about your process! I've tried doing my own animatic but ended up biting off more I can chew with wanting to render everything(which was my first mistake). what sort of middle ground do you have between storyboards and something being fully rendered?(I really want to make an oc animatic with Scylla but don't know where to start)
A fully rendered animatic is a big bite even for me, and it is important to keep in mind that as indie artists, it could take weeks or even months for us to finish one that is as long as the song “Scylla”
When I decide to do an animatic, I listen to the chosen song ridiculously many times, until the whole animatic; the shots/perspectives, expressions, movements are clear in my head. There are occasions I listen to just 10 seconds over and over to get the timing right in my head.
Only after that I make a full sketch storyboard, usually on paper (which are incredibly messy lol, since I have everything in my head vividly), then I digitalise it (aka draw the sketches in the animator software), adding some more to it e.g. background sketches.
I’ve just recently started doing it, but imo it is better to finish the line art for the whole animatic first, then flat colour everything, and only after that render. So you basically build it up piece by piece. And it’s okay to keep larger breaks (like a day or two or more) between progress phases, we are humans, we need rest to keep us from burning out and not going mad.
Even if it’s a fully rendered animatic, nothing always needs to be perfectly drawn, coloured or shadowed. In my most recent KYFC animatic, tho it’s just one colour scale, there are three colouring, two drawing and one editing mistakes I did, and 99% of the people don’t notice them. Also, there can be many frames as you draw that just don’t seem right, but that’s usually just in the artist’s eye. For these reasons, you can always use references for literally everything, or you can make your own with modelling websites or apps (I use a website called “Magic Poser�� for the characters when there is a more complicated perspective I had in mind) :D
When you start colouring and/or rendering, I found it helpful to make one frame totally finished, so it would serve as an example.
Hopefully, this helps and answers your question somewhat
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crescencestudio · 1 year
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Devlog #35 | 09.26.23
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Hi everyone!
Hope the beginning of Fall has been kind to you all <3 To be Frank, it has not been Kind to me LMFAO. But I'll get into that, so let's dive in yippee!
Before I do, someone liked this post recently, which was such a throwback. It was before the full demo was out and everything!! I was so young and full of life. I'm going to sprinkle some comparison shots of the new assets with the old ones to break up the text and also walk down memory lane with me! (Full GUI not shown as I'm still waiting on the assets)
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Chapter Cards (Left: After | Right: Before)
The "Progress"
I'm going to structure this devlog a little differently from the usual template. The main reason being, for those of you who didn't see, I have not been feeling Myself recently.
This month I found myself all out of sorts. While I felt like I was making progress and doing so much everyday read: fighting for my life, when I looked back on things at the end of this month, I didn't feel like I really did much.
On a higher level, I finished fulfilling Kickstarter physical rewards, opened a Kofi shop of the remaining merch, edited Druk's route and continued writing Etza's route, updated assets and code for the updated demo, and then general commission stuff (BGs from Vui, soundtracks from Peter, etc.).
But overall, Alaris felt largely like it was kinda sitting at around the same spot as it did when I entered this month. Which made me a little sad! I had wanted to make So Much Progress on Alaris because next month I won't be able to work on it really. Then, I realized I haven't taken a break from game development since I started it two years ago HA!!!
The Real Progress
Development for me has been back-to-back. Chapter releases every 1-2 months during my first half year of development, Full Demo release shortly after, Kickstarter shortly after, Full Game Development shortly after. When I was feeling burnt out from Alaris, I made intertwine. Then I was Heavily Involved in the development of two games shortly after.
All of this on top of my IRL responsibilities, which include a job, PhD school, and well, functioning as a normal human occasionally.
And then here we are at the end of September 2023, and I'm wondering why even though I creatively want to work on Alaris, I find my brain literally just getting too tired to think.
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Etza CG (Left: After | Right: Before)
I think ever since the Kickstarter, I've put a lot of pressure on myself to consistently put out LOTS of updates for each monthly devlog. I don't want people to think I'm not working on things or I'm not committed to delivering after giving me their hard earned money. But now, with two years under my belt, I'm realizing that is... HMM maybe too high of a standard to put on myself for my first game ever. There are many much more seasoned developers than me who don't put that pressure on themselves (which is Good and Healthy).
So this month, I debated scrounging around and gathering all my crumbs to give you all a devlog that you'll be satisfied with. But I decided ultimately that wouldn't be good for me and would honestly not be the most transparent way to present the current process of things.
And so. Here I am. Head in my Hands. Letting you all know that while I'm not "burnt out," I am.... only human LOL (one human at that). And so some months, like this one, will just not have much progress to report. Not because I'm not working on it or any other deeper reason. But because it's physically impossible and unreasonable for me to be continuously pushing out a steady stream of content.
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In-Game Sprites & BGs (Left: After | Right: Before)
Next month, I'lll be taking a vacation. It's actually my first Big, Official one in a Long Time! I'm very excited for it. And while I did initially think about working on Alaris while I was traveling on trains or things like that, I decided to respect my own need to be a Human and just take a break for once in my life. I don't even want to say I Might work on things, because that sentiment alone will pressure me to make some progress. So yes. Next month, there will be no devlog or updates. But please rest assured, I am "working on Alaris" by letting myself just Exist and Rest Up!
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Not an Alaris screenshot but it is market research that deserves to be included because I played House in Fata Morgana recently and it was Phenomenal!
Thank you all for understanding and your continued support. I'm extremely appreciative to have such a kind and patient community. Hope you all have a wonderful October filled with Fall Treats, and I'll see you in November! <3
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tenpintsof-sundrop · 5 months
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Nisha, did you know I would step on some legos barefooted for you? Anyways can’t wait to read for another fandom I have never stepped foot in and would probably never engage with the canon in just because you decided that’s what to make, and I’ve decided to read it anyways. Home cooked meal. -Rotten Anon
The opening line of this message made literal cartoon anime hearts appear above my head, just so you know <3
Also you have inspired me to post a rundown of my WIPs because I am really excited about what I have been working on. And for two of these fandoms, I know you have said you know nothing about the canon, but for the third, I am not sure, so we'll see.
My Current WIPs April/May 2024
Heaven's Gate (for The Walking Dead) - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Soulmates/Lovers Reunited. Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 1 to Season 5. 17k in counting (will be a oneshot). You can find a preview here. In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the Governor attacks the prison, and though you both believe the other person is dead (or long gone) you find each other at the most unlikely time, in the most unlikely place.
I am super excited about this fic, and the themes of hope that I have woven into it. Because yes, I unironically love writing about hope and how the human spirit can persevere - which is something that my favourite moments in The Walking Dead show. This is first draft complete and just needs to be edited.
The Jaws of Life (for DC Titans) - Jason Todd x GN!Reader. Sequel to Emergency Contact. Lovers Reunited. Extreme Angst, Smut, Hurt and (some) Comfort. Set during Season 3. 21k in counting (will probably be a oneshot - if it needs to be split up, it will be put in two parts, but I hope I can get away with a oneshot). (I highly recommend that everyone go read the original in the meantime, because it is one of my best fics ever.) In this fic, you and Jason struggle with the new meaning of your relationship after what happened with Deathstroke - only for this tentative change to be harshly disrupted by the Joker. And you're still heavily mourning when a red hooded stranger breaks into your apartment one night, seeking medical care because apparently - you owe him one.
Everyone give Jaycen @nctzenkane a big fucking round of applause for this one, because he was randomly talking to me about Jason Todd today (we were having the 'some characters are only fuckable in costume' discussion) - and I got talking about how this version of Jason from Titans makes me so passionate to write about the character. And it is solely because of him that I opened up this fic and took a good look at it - I have been thinking about this fic for months, wanting to finish it because I know I am gonna be proud of it, but I kept hesitating because I thought I had a way bigger mountain to conquer with it. But the conversation I had with Jaycen really inspired me and I wrote 5k on the fic just today, and I realized that with this momentum, I could have the first draft done by the end of this month. So I am promising myself that this is gonna be done soon.
Speaking of which - when The Jaws of Life is first draft done, I wanna host a poll so you guys can decide which of those two ^^ fics goes through the editing process to be posted first. Both will be posted (hopefully) by the end of May, but I do wanna know which one you guys wanna see posted first. Which leads me to:
Nasty (for Stranger Things) - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. 3k (this is gonna be a shorter fic lmao). In this fic, you and Eddie have been dating for a while, but you don't like that all of his attempts to have sex with you have him taking on a (seemingly fake) dom persona. When you finally tell him that you prefer to be more dominant in bed, he isn't disgusted like you thought he might be - he loves it.
This is one I have been sitting on for a while, and right before it was ready to be posted - my brain lost interest in it like tiktok does micro trends. But I think this is gonna be really great to post while the poll for those other fics is cooking because it's short and sweet and for the past few days, whenever I have seen the cover for this in my drafts, I have gotten excited about it again. So I am excited to finish it and show it off to everyone!!
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daedelweiss · 10 months
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Hii!
I wanted to ask about the trailer, because I really like it and I think it's amazing, and I've been wondering, how much time was put into it? Cause it looks phenomenal and beautiful and it can be seen just how much effort and love went into it. So I became kinda curious for how long you've been working on it, from like day one. Literally. When you were just setting things up, like what to show and what scenes to be in it. (I'm not sure if you already answered this or said it, so if you did, I hope it's okay asking it again)
the concept for the trailer actually started december of last year!!!
i wanted a way to showcase the story without spoiling the plot so everyone knows that the story is (mostly) finished and i just need everyone to be patient with the comic :D i know what i'm doing and i already know the endgoal.
for production, preprod started in january!
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it started out with thumbnails and then proceeded to make it into an animated storyboard.
i took a break after that because i was quite overwhelmed with the task at hand fdhndfhn i've made animatics before but not to this level. and certainly not colored.
i started animating the final trailer at june tho and made several changes to a) animate everything easier and b) the initial story was barely featured in the draft so i added more scenes after the part where leo is about to go in the portal. it was to show off what the story had to offer and what lies ahead. it is a trailer after all 😄
post production involved fixing so many mistakes and editing the trailer to get the timing perfect. it's not 100% perfect but i was burnt out at that point and knew that whatever i posted is my best anyway.
overall production time took about 5-7 months, depending if you add the break/training period because i spent the break improving my rise artstyle with my friends~
so yeah, making this trailer was no easy feat and was definitely a labor of love 💖 all the support and patience given to me definitely helped~
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tellnotalespod · 5 months
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TNT S1 E1 - Not For Long came out on 2nd May 2022, which means Tell No Tales turns two today!
(and if we're being honest, TNT being in the terrible twos explains a lot about how emotionally fraught it's been recently)
Going ahead with this show is the best decision I've ever made, and it changed my life for the better. I'm so incredibly grateful for this community for welcoming me in 💜
I got a little nostalgic and found an old voice note (from almost three years ago!) that's posted under the cut. I sent this to Michaela (one of our ghostie VAs) almost immediately after having the idea for the show. It's edited a lil to keep it down to a reasonable length, because much like Leo Quinn, I sure can Yap.
[Image ID: A whatsapp voice note sent by me, followed by another message by me that reads "oh I think I've decided the name of the main character is going to be Leo, bc hell if I'm going to do this completely self-serving project for no other reason than the enjoyment of creating it then I'm damn well gonna use the name I'd use if I ever decide to change to a more masc sounding name." The following messages sent by Michaela on 4 July 2021 are sent in quick succession, "omggggggggg yesssss" "I want to listen to thisss" "I am 100% happy to help" "I love this idea" "so much" "pls do it" /.End ID]
Note: audio quality changes around a lot because I was, I think, dyeing my hair at the time
Voice note transcript:
 I have a… an idea. And it might be really stupid and it will probably never come to anything. However, I'm really excited about it. So... hear me out (LAUGHS). My idea is, uh, I want to write a podcast about an ex-employee of a ghost hunting company, and the- the basis of the podcast is... I literally just had this like half baked thought like five minutes ago, so bear with me while I talk this through. This character works for a quite renowned institute, company, whatever, organization that hunts ghosts. Uh, they destroy the ghosts whenever they're called to it, but the main character is starting to get suspicious of the fact that some of the ghosts that they're called to don't necessarily seem violent, and some of them are completely harmless and they just want to exist and so they have been working on a recording system that can capture the voices of ghosts. And they start off as an assistant to like the head of this company, but they're already starting to feel complicit in what they're becoming kind of more and more aware is potentially a very evil operation. And it's gonna alternate between like their their notes and the recordings of interviews with ghosts that they are sent to hunt, but don't. They sit down and they get their life story instead and then either leave them be or try to help them move on peacefully or whatever. And there's gonna be a bit of a, like a, an overarching plot in that the organization that they work for is corrupt, but not in the way that they think. And I'm thinking the main character is trying to, like, capture enough evidence, basically, before they can quit this organization- t hat's, that's, that's their intention, is they want to make sure that this recording system is completely functional. They want to capture enough evidence of completely harmless ghosts. They want to have like a huge backlog of stuff to use against the head of this company, and to do that, to have access to ghosts and all of that kind of stuff, they have to continue working for it, which they hate, but that's the only way that they see themselves being able to achieve good in the long run. So, the first season is going to be them, like, trying to work on this project in secret while you get glimpses of the boss doing some, like, shady shit. And like... who's to say that I need to finish my novel this month anyway? You know?? But fuck it, this is... I'm really excited about this, so I'm gonna give it a shot.
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griefabyss69 · 8 months
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Back again! 💜😊
How about some of that: leatherworking for gay sex
Yesss!!! This was from a conversation with a friend - MONTHS AGO, back when I knew like two people in this fandom! (Which means the writing is fairly old and I haven't picked thru and edited it in months also) This is also a fic that created a new backstory in both of my usual versions of Steve and Eddie - Eddie knows basic sewing/mending and Steve is curious about it but never had the chance to learn. (If you read my NNN fic - Constrained, the library scene alludes to this) Steve's helping Eddie with things around the house while he recovers from the vecna hell dimension injuries and that kind of starts something new for him. First as a surprise for Eddie, but he finds out he really likes doing it! This one is plotted out to the end (it's very simple), so hopefully one day soon I pick it back up and finish it! It's over halfway done anyway Excerpt!!!: ( Contains: The tail end of a long healing process, Steve Likes To Be Useful, honestly this one is just sweet so far, rated G??)
It starts like this:
Eddie's hands are fucked, at least for now.
And Steve's hands are working just fine, so he sits at Eddie's kitchen table in the Munson's new double-wide trailer, fixing the ripped stitches in Eddie's oldest battle vest. Jacket. Whatever.
There's no music playing because Eddie's writing something that has his forehead crinkling with concentration, his hand shaking with the thickest pen he could find wrapped in his aching fingers, but the quiet is nice. He likes to listen to Eddie breathe even if sometimes it still has a bit of a rough edge to it, his breath catching on the way in. He's here, you know?
Steve finishes with the patch pretty quickly - Eddie's hand hasn't even given out on him yet.
He only recently learned how to sew, with Eddie handing him a battered book from like the 40's and showing him which pages to follow in order to learn the simple stitch he needed. Given how Eddie's been well enough to not need help with literally everything, he's been enjoying finding things to do that he probably wouldn't have gotten around to even if he had made it out of the Upside Down unscathed.
There's a warmth that cradles Steve's heart when he gets to do shit like this, like right now as he looks over the vest to find another patch that could use some TLC, working slowly and carefully as he secures it.
He's got the vest folded and set on the table, starting to put supplies away, when Eddie sighs, tossing his pen onto the table.
"Alright, I'm calling it," he says, shutting his notebook with a heavy thud.
"Cool, you want to go for a drive?"
Another way Steve gets to take care of Eddie. He gets him out of the house and onto the roads, even if it's not the same as racing his van around the dusty streets.
--
Steve's back at Eddie's kitchen table, sitting across from him while he tries to resist the urge to kick out and nudge his legs just to be annoying.
The peace and quiet is nice here, but Eddie's frowning at his page and has been slowly gripping the pen tighter and tighter the deeper the furrow between his eyebrows gets. Steve's not necessarily worried but he thinks Eddie's hand is going to hurt a lot sooner if he doesn't loosen up his grip.
"Want to take a break with me?" He asks, setting down the book of crossword puzzles he'd brought in from the break room at work.
Eddie blinks up at him, slowly leaking tension like a wool sweater unraveling, eyebrows unpinching and his hand ungripping until he lets the pen fall to the table. Like he forgot Steve was here, instead lost in a miasma of whatever misery that had been dredged up from the sewers of his mind.
"I…" Eddie looks down at his notebook, shuts it slowly as he takes a breath. "Yeah, we should."
Steve gets up and stretches, letting out a hearty groan as he reaches for the ceiling, peeking out of the corner of the eye to watch Eddie watch the hemline of his shirt. It makes his stomach swoop and he tries to stretch a little further, see if he can bare another inch of skin.
"Let's sit outside," he says, heading for the door.
--
A quiet fifteen minutes on the porch, soaking in the warmth from the pre-summer sun, and Eddie seems to be back to normal, poking at Steve and teasing him for something or other - it kind of slips through his ears as he watches his mouth.
"So, what's got you stressed? Like, right now in particular," Steve asks, picking up his crossword book again as they settle in. He's not having much luck with it today, the answers just not coming to mind, but he's doing it in pen because he's decided not to care.
"It's stupid," Eddie sighs, leaning back in his seat to give him a bland look. Like he's too done with his own shit to even roll his eyes. "I broke my bracelet."
He lifts his hand to show off his naked wrist, wiggling it for emphasis that yeah, it really is a nude wrist, no bracelet to be found.
Steve tries to think about the bracelet instead of about nudity.
"How'd it break? Can I take a look at it?"
He finds himself with a new kind of puzzle, one that might be a lot easier than the mess he's created trying to find answers to facts in such unforgiving constraints.
Eddie's leather bracelet - the one that catches Steve's eye because it's also got a metal chain attached, and chains and Eddie are a combination that does something nice to his blood whenever he thinks about them for too long - is sitting injured in front of him on the table, with the Munson's toolbox on the chair beside him, open and picked through for something that could be useful.
"It's okay if you can't get it, I can probably find a new one or take it to a shop or something," Eddie's saying, like he's not fucking miserable without the weight of the thing.
Steve knows something about routines and pressure, thinks about how he always buys the same kind of jeans in the same size so he has consistency, and if he weren't sober he'd probably reach out and circle his fingers around Eddie's wrist to see if that helps.
"Yeah, just lemme try," he says, examining where one the snap had come out of the leather. Eddie had worn this through hell and then through literal hell, but otherwise it seemed like it was in good condition. The snap just was a point of failure that had gone through too much.
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celticwolf55 · 6 days
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It's really cool when writers have playlists for their fics cause then you see what fits woth the story and all. Fake it till you make it is the first of your fics I read and it's one of my favorites so it's nice to see that playlist.
I've never heard reckless driving before but it's really good. Like "guess I'd die to keep your eyes on me"? For wenclair? Breathtaking honestly. I've only heard one other song by this artist and theyre making me a fan of hers. The song is Hate to be lame in case you're interested.
And epic omg I first heard about it late 2021/early 2022 and I've been obsessed since. I've waited so long that I'm kinda sad it'll be over soon. Just a man is one of the best songs from epic. All the edits to it are so good they hurt. Ruthlessness has to be my favorite though cause that's where it finally hits them how screwed they are.
I'm left without a choice and without a doubt
Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now
I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown
And
You are far too nice, mercy has a price
It's the final crack, we're bound to break the ice now
You reveal your name, then you let him live
Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give 'cause
Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves
These lyrics are golden. Different beast is up there for me too. Do you have a favorite song or saga?
I know it's a lot, my bad, but in my defense wenclair and epic are my hyperfixations and together is even better.
I feel that having a playlist, even if I don't always listen to it when I'm writing, it really helps get me into the headspace of the story. Fake it is the first popular fic that people have read of mine, which is totally fair since my earlier stuff wasn't that great. And I'm glad that you enjoyed the playlist I put together for it.
Reckless driving was something I literally listened to on repeat for MONTHS because it was what gave the good creative juices for writing, and the beat was great as well when the lyrics just faded into the background in my braid. The lyrics also hit really hard too, so I totally get your reaction to them. I haven't heard the song you're talking about, but Ceilings was also a song I listened to on repeat for a similar reason.
Now to Epic. I found it mid to late last year I think. Back when the Cyclops saga was the most recent one out. All of the edits and animatics were so incredible as well, adding different things to the songs and elevating them in different ways too. Ruthless is an incredible song too. It's the first time that Odysseus has some really harsh consequences and it hardens him in general (apart from Polities' death). And yeah, you get to feel how badly he's messed up too. I also remember how incredible the goosebumps were when that scrapped song was going around 'Get in the water'. It was so intense.
You're totally fine. I like your enthusiasm. I just spent several hours making a video of about 3 years worth of artworks I've done for Wenclair to my recent stuff. Hopefully I get inspired into making more artworks to hopefully finish the song I have behind it.
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hollyhomburg · 2 months
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I think I am literally just there when I read the first sentence or paragraph of BILY and I immediately double tap/like the chapter because I know you can’t dissappoint me! You are one of my best writer, I can’t wait your new chapters, snippets. So talented!!! I am so frustrated because I can’t write my full thoughts because english is not my first language (I understand more than what I can write) and I am struggling when I write what I think about but I am really picky when I choose my favourites and you!!!! You and this series/book is one of my fav!!! I don’t know what will I do when BILY will finished 😭 Thank you Li! Just thank you! 💕
you know i was going back and re-reading the first like few lines of each chapter- like the little bit that i put before the read-more and dang some of those beginnings are so good- like say what you want about my spelling- but i really have a handle on those beginnings!
don't worry about english not being your first language <3 I also feel not so fluent and feel like i can hardly speak sometimes or string a bunch of words into a coherent sentence!
I think for me, as far as what will happen when i finish bily, i think a good option will be to go back and edit it again until i find something i want to write. the first ever series i wrote i started when i was 15 and finished when i was 17 and then i didn't write a single other thing until i turned 20 and started writing fanfiction. There was a three year gap of time that i needed at that time and while i don't want to be gone for so long- i do feel like I need a few months/weeks off maybe- or just a space where i am not thinking about things and letting inspiration find me vs the other way it happens.
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