#like i have a vision but i cant execute it right either

[camzverse]

i could so easily make a fnaf animatic to tragic fact from rtc. But i am lazy

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alrighty I finished watching the 2012 Jesus Christ Superstar, the one that people on tumblr like to gif the most

Thats not meant to be an insult btw, honestly this might be my favorite version Ive seen so far overall

I initially had pretty mixed feelings about the actors they got for Jesus and Judas, like, they werent bad but I felt like Judas especially wasnt putting enough emotion into it and their delivery was kinda off at times but then we got the last supper scene and I thought they were great from that point on. Judas was good, I didnt like him as much as 73!Judas but honestly after watching the 2000s movie Im just glad he was portayed in a sympathetic way at the very least. I actually really liked Jesus in this one too, which is pretty surprising because Ive found him pretty unlikable in the previous versions and also Ive been translating the german versions of these songs which made me realize that a lot of that unlikability is kinda baked into the script as well. Usually I tend to dislike Jesus for about half the show until it gets to that bit after the last supper where everyones sleeping and hes looking around like "wont anyone be with me now 🥺" and Im like, aw thats just a sad little man, a lost littol guy, I cant dislike him when hes like that

I really liked the way they modernized this story here, it felt a lot less anachronistic and like there was a more cohesive vision behind it. While I usually like anachronistic settings and think itd be especially fitting for JCS, I felt like the execution was kinda lacking in the previous version and Im glad the 2012 version basically just went full Modern AU with it

Pretty much everything else I have to say applies to either the costuming or specifoc songs/scenes so in the interest of having a better structure than I had in my previous review-post-things I think Im just gonna talk about costuming and then each song in chronological order. Also I will be comparing this version both the 73 and the 2000s movie because thats how I do things babeyyyy whyd you think my review of the 2000s movie was so much longer and more articulated its because I do better when Im comparing two things

Costuming

Right off the bat, I dont think this technically has anything to do with the costuming, this would probably fall under casting actually, but Im so glad Jesus was brunette in this because him being blonde in the previous two versions was weirdly upsetting to me. Like, obviously he usually gets whitewashed in popular media and thats gross and almost definitely inaccurate but because it happens so frequently and has been happening for such a long time I barely even register it beyond maybe going "hm. thats wrong" at the very start whenever they show Jesus as the whitest guy on earth in anything, but I usually see him portrayed as brunette at the very least so seeing him get portrayed as blonde on top of the whitewashing was just too much man. Also he looks like Lin Manuel Miranda but Im like 90% sure thats not him

I like that they modernized Jesus' clothes for this as well because in the 2000s movie he wore a white tanktop and like, jeans probably in the very first scene but in every other scene hes wearing these long flowing white robes, so I like that they put him in a normal white shirt (and black jeans) even though it doesnt really have that same vibe of divine purity if its not a long flowing robe or a dress. Like, he literally just looks like the most normal guy ever wearing that and I really like that tbh

He also wore a brown scarf a few times and I kinda wish it was red instead because I did some research and found out that hes pretty heavily associated with that color. I mean, I also found out that a whole bunch of figures in the bible are associated with red, like if someone tried to quiz you on this you could probably get 50% of the answer if you just said red everytime, but still.

Speaking of red, I think I said at some point that Judas not wearing red irked me, and it still does just to be clear, but Ive thought about it a little and I actually quite appreciate the thought that went into the color coding here, for lack of a better term.

Like, instead of red being Judas' and Marys color like in the previous films (i dont actually remember what color Mary wore in the 70s movie but im going with it anyway) its essentially the color that the antagonists or people who are in some way against Jesus but who werent really directly involved in his death. Herod is probably the most obvious example, hes completely decked out in red but Simon is also wearing it and hes characterized as someone coopting this message of Love and Acceptance and whatnot in order to spread hate, Im pretty sure Peter also wears it and he ends up denying Jesus.

And then sortof complementary to that we have black as the color of people who were more directly involved in Jesus' death, like Caiaphas and his guys, Pilates and of course Judas. The crowd that gathers and calls for Jesus' crucifixion at the end is also wearing black so could see them partaking in his death as well

And then we obviously have white for Jesus and Mary as basically his closest follower who seems to understand him the most and also probably embodies his message of acceptance the best. Judas also has a white scarf to still tie him to him visually even though he does end up betraying him which I find neat

The fact that he didnt get to wear white for the last song again is crime honestly, cmon man do it for the visual cohesion if nothing else. They threw in a few singers who were also wearing black so Judas wouldnt be the only guy in black surrounded by a bunch of angels in white but ehhhhh, it only kinda works imo. I mean atleast its not as messy and thematically confusing as whatever they tried to do at the end of the 2000s version but still, just let my guy wear white

Also, before I move on I wanted to compliment the sets, or stage, since it was mostly just a pretty empty stage with few props and just a really big screen. I think they utilized the screen really well, just consistently having that illusion of The Media there really helped modernize this musical. I also liked the portayal of Jesus n gangs hideout as this little encampment and the implication that they had the last supper in basically their home. Idk what its like in the bible but from both of the other versions i watched I got the impression that they had the last supper somewhere else and while that didnt bother me at all, i think theres something nice about it being more mundane

Thats pretty much it I think, now its Song Time babey

Overture(/Prologue?)

I paused within like the first 40 seconds and wrote a post because they just immediately hit you with fictional news reports about protests and police brutality and then they just keep going for like 3 minutes and Im just sitting there, mouth agape because its like. first of all, these made-up news reports were so similar to ones that Ive seen throughout the summer of 2020 when the George Floyd and related protests were happening that I had to do a double take and make sure that yes, this is from 2012 and literally nothing has changed. Alternatively, they were actively trying to portray an unrealistically horrifically tyrannical government police state only for the creators visions of a horrible dystopia coming true only 8 years after. I dont know which one is more upsetting and Id rather not think about it too much and find out

Second of all, Andrew Lloyd Webbers musicals tend to be pretty safe, like theyre known to be more spectacle and melodrama than substance, atleast the ones that Im familiar with and while I certainly wouldnt call this musical subtle or even particularly profound, I really wasnt expecting something this politically charged within the first minute. And just to be clear, Im not saying that JCS is bad because its not that subtle or profound, I really love this musical and think its really good it just isnt those qualities and thats fine

Heaven on Their Minds

I dont have a lot to say here, Judas is pretty weak. His voice lacks emotion and because of that it feels more like a pop-cover than a musical theater song and I wasnt a fan. His actual singing voice is good and he definitely gets better as the musical goes on but this was quite disappointing after that overture

Also, the camera was obviously focusing more on Judas at this point but Im pretty sure I saw Jesus and Simon having some kind of argument while his followers are all surrounding him and Judas is singing, I thought that was a neat detail

What's the Buzz/Strange Thing, Mystifying

Im gonna be real with you, saying those two songs are part of the same one doesnt seem right to me but thats what Genius and youtube do and I dont think I really have too much to say about Whats the Buzz on its own so yeah

Honestly, I feel like Whats the Buzz is just gonna make Jesus seem kinda weird and unlikable regardless of who plays him, the good thing about this version is hes not musically moaning and going "ohhhhhhhh~ Mary thats so nice~~" like he is in the german 70s version which i forced myself to listen to approximately 600 times

I have the same criticism of Judas as I did in the previous song, not enough emotion. Jesus isnt great here either, I feel like neither version after the 73 one really managed to capture his anger at his followers the same way, the delivery has been weaker and not as impactful and snappy in the 2000s and 2012 versions.

And I just wanted to say again that I like the setup of their hideout being a bunch of these little tents, I think its really fitting

Everything's Alright

Jesus and Judas are still not giving me enough and its just gonna be like this until the last supper I guess

I really like Mary's voice, theres something soft and kinda vulnerable about it and its nice to listen to

This Jesus Must Die

Musically this is probably my favorite song because of course it is, its the villain song

I like that in this production Caiaphas seemed to really struggle to reach that low tone lol. Like, he sounded great but his face looked like he was struggling, thats about as well as I can describe it. I also liked Annas, he seemed so smug and obnoxious and I liked his leitmotiv-melody-thingy that he would sing its very catchy

I really appreciated that white-grayish lighting, it reminded me of like sterile office building lighting and contrasts nicely with the more yellowish-golden lighting they had for Hosanna. They didnt do anything as crazy or evocative as the 2000s film but Im also not sure how feasible doing something like that on a live stage would be so whatever, I still enjoyed it and thought it looked really good

Hosanna

This might be my favorite song in terms of how they adapted it for this modern AU-thing. I love that Jesus seems a lot more involved in this which makes sense since its been reframed as a protest whereas Im pretty sure it was originally something closer to a parade or something similar. I like that hes singing along to the "Hosanna, heysanna" parts, I dont think he did that in the other versions and it makes him seem less detached and above-it-all which definetly makes him a lot more sympathetic in my eyes

I absolutely adore the way Jesus' verse is framed with him like, looking into a camera with his followers huddled around him idk I think its nice. Speaking of framing and stuff, I havent mentioned the camera work at all yet and its really good for the most part, I do have some complaints but they dont apply to this song so I shant mention them right now

Really the only negative thing I have to say is that usually when the crowd sings "Hey JC, JC, wont you die for me" they cut to Jesus horrified/weirded out reaction and I think its a real highlight but I dont think they directed him to make any kind of facial expression at that part or maybe the actor forgot, so that was a little disappointing ngl. Speaking of that verse, I have Genius open rn so I know which order the songs are in and apparently that verse/line wasnt originally in the song??? Bro thats such a good and simple line how did you not come up with that right away. I mean, better late than never but still

Simon Zelotes/Poor Jerusalem

Again, I dont really think these two songs make that much sense as a package deal but who am I to disagree with genius dot com

I really enjoy the contrast between the two songs and I think they did a great job highlighting it even further via the lighting, with the stage being bathed in this red light during Simon Zelotes and the lights changing to deep blue for Poor Jerusalem. The staging and choregraphy were also great, I like that Jesus is mostly down at the front of the stage during Simon Zelotes with his followers being sort of scattered behind him as they were doing this high energy group dance number while hes up at the back of the stage during Poor Jerusalem with his followers almost huddled together in front of him, it highlights that emotional dissonance between Jesus and his followers really well

I actually liked Jesus performance too, I think the actor did a good job conveying his discomfort and at this point I felt like he was a lot better at projecting quiet vulnerability than loud anger or anguish at this point

Pilate's Dream

I dont really have anything to say here, the song isnt great but its short so its like, fine whatever.

The main thing I have to say here is that I did not Get Pilate at all the past two times I watched this but at the end of this song he puts on a powdered wig and I went "ohhhhhhh hes like a judge" and that made me finally kinda understand what his deal is somehow. Idk man Im a little stupid sometimes

The Temple

I think the first half of this song is fine, but I definitely prefer both of the other versions. I feel like having the people at the temple crowd around a camera as theyre singing about all the sinful shit theyre offering just makes for more effective framing and does a better job at putting you in Jesus' shoes and making you feel uncomfortable

Im not a fan of those weird moving neon shapes they show on the screen during this bit. At the very start of this scene they have this colorful neon text saying stuff like SEX and NUDES and honestly, I think they shouldve had that for the entire song. Like, I get why they might not want to have a whole scene with the word SEX flashing in the background in bold neon letters but it wouldve fit more and been less weird than abstract moving lines. I also dont think they shouldve had any of the 'sinners' wear white just to make Jesus stand out a bit more, but thats a nitpick.

I absolutely ADORE the second half with the beggars though. I mentioned before that I have this fascination with portrayals non-consentual non-sexual touch and this scene, in all three versions Ive watched, really manages to tap into that in a way thats pretty personal and hard to describe. This scene in this version is probably my favorite but Im not sure I can properly describe why. It just feels so intense, the way everyones grabbing onto him and practically lifting him off the ground like some uncomfortable perversion of crowd surfing, I love that

I also like the detail at the start of the song where Judas picks a fight with the bodyguard guy while Jesus goes inside

Everything's Alright (Reprise)/I Don't Know How To Love Him

These two songs arent actually lumped together like some of the other ones, but i have nothing to say about the reprise on its own and its really short so

I really like I Don't Know How To Love Him because its the song that made me realize that Jesus being the son of god is actually pretty ambiguous in this musical which makes this story way better and more interesting imo. Like, I rewatched Jenny Nicholsons video on easter plays after watching the 70s movie and i realized that the focus on Jesus as the literal son of god and his resurrection actually takes away a lot of the impact this story could have as yknow, a story, when its being told by people who are actually christian. And Im not religious myself but I get why that is, for a christian audience the resurrection is the most important part because its essentially proof of Jesus being the son of god rather than 'just' a prophet and/or important spiritual leader, which is kind of the basis of the entire religion. I also feel like theres a tendency in media made by christians about Jesus (or Jesus-stand ins) to avoid portraying any flaws in its main character because thats your god, and you wouldnt wanna portray that guy in a bad light and while I understand that too, it makes for a far less interesting story for non-christian audiences

I dont really know where I was going with this ngl, in conclusion; the reason I enjoyed this play about Jesus Christ so much is probably that it wasnt made by christians

Also Im going back to this after being done writing the post, I dont like that they made Mary ungoth herself on stage like cmon man, let my gal be goth. The only good thing about that was that Mary has muscles and I liked looking at them now that the jacket wasnt in the way

Damned for All Time/Blood Money

Finally a package deal song that actually works as one

Im gonna honest, while I think this song is good I dont really. understand it? Even after watching three versions of this musical and looking at some of the genius annotations. I understand that Judas is feeling guilty about the betrayal and trying to justify himself (although thats only after reading the annotations lol I feel like the lyrics are really weird and contradictory ngl), I dont really get why hes betraying him? Like yeah, he doesnt like what Jesus is doing now and is afraid that he's putting himself and other jewish people in danger but on an emotional level I dont really get why he thought betraying him would be the best course of action. Maybe because he came to realize that he cant get Jesus off the path hes on but idk, that wouldve been nice to actually see that onstage

But enough about that, lets move on to the things I really liked. For example they added this small bit where Judas is walking over to Caiaphas and his guys and you can see him walk into their office building or whatever through the security cameras, I thought that was a really neat detail.

I also like the way Judas sings the very last line about the gardens of Gethsemane, his delivery was really good

The Last Supper

I already mentioned this a few times earlier but I thought Jesus' and Judas' performances were fine for the most part, they just lacked emotion and felt more like flat radio covers because of it, but this is the song where they get really good and even stay really good. Thats not. great. But you know what they say, better late than never

I also liked Judas like, poking Jesus basically when hes yelling at him and I liked Jesus shoving him. Maybe its just me but I feel like the physical contact is way more intense in this version, for lack of a better term, and Im a big fan of that I think that rules, I love watching guys touch each other

I also mentioned earlier that I like how the last supper is just happening at their camp because it makes it feel more mundane and the other non-apostle ensamble members still being there in the background really adds to that vibe as well. I also feel like it made everyone going to sleep after the supper make more sense. Like, in the previous two versions I thought it was kinda weird that they all just fell asleep at the table after that big dramatic shouting match and Jesus predictions but in this one it reads more like the apostles are all going "okay. i think i need to leave." and just crawling into their tents bc what else are they supposed to do

Another thing I liked was that Jesus was like, kinda freaking out and lashing out in this scene. Idk the way Ive been taught about these events made it seem like Jesus just calmly explained this shit to his guys at dinner because he knew gods plan or whatever, so I appreciated this more dramatic and more human version

Gethsemane

oughhhhhhh this song is really good but I dont have a lot to say about it because its mainly an emotional ballad where Jesus is just kinda standing there singing while engulfed in blue light and I already talked about how I like that the existence of god is never confirmed in this musical and why i think that makes the story way stronger

I did want to mention this lyric-change I noticed and didnt like. So originally there was this line towards the end of the song that was like "God thy will is hard/Something something card probably" idk the only reason I remembered that line is because when I heard it in the 73 version I immediately went on tumblr to make an untagged 1 note flop of a post that went like this: "Call my penis thy will the way its hard". But in this version the line is "God thy will is done/Take your only son" and I just dont like that

The Arrest

It took me watching this musical thrice to realize that the music for this song is literally just the music for the beggar part of The Temple, eventhough there were some very obvious visual parallels in the 2000s movie on top of the music being the same but hey, Im a little stupid sometimes and also better late than never

Similarly to the temple scene I just dont think its as effective when you dont have the camera surrounded by these people to both put you in Jesus' shoes and to evoke claustrophobia. The reframing of these guys being like news reporters rather than ? disillusioned followers? jewish people who dont agree with him? I think? is really good and makes a lot of sense. I just didnt like that they had those guards holding them all back I think they shouldve gone all out and just fucking grabbed him

Peter's Denial

This is a pretty short qnd unremarkable song and I dont have much to say, I liked both Peter and Mary (Mary has been consistantly really good throughout the entire musical I think i forgot to mention thst until now) and I weirdly enjoyed Peter being so unecessarily hostile towards that old lady

Pilate and Christ

This is the song I keep forgetting about even though its actually really good lmao

I am just baffled by the decision to have Pilate working out in this scene. Thats kind of it honestly, like whyd they do that. whyd they do that huh. Literally the only reason I can think of is like, they wanted to show off how dismissive he is of Jesus but. there are other ways

Anyway I really liked Pilates vocal performance though and I like this actor, he has a very legal-professional kinda face and tone of voice which makes sense if we're interpreting him as some kindof judge guy, great casting

King Herod's Song

I really love this song, its so catchy and fun and ended up liking the talk show setup for this scene more than I anticipated. I think the reason I was kinda wary of how they would approach this scene was because King Herod is 10000% gonna be the guy who gets played by James Corden when they inevitably decide to turn this into a proper movie (again) but since this is 2012 and also a stage production, James Corden is nowhere to be found and this song is still really enjoyable. Theres really nothing to dislike here, I liked the guy who played Herod, I liked the backup dancer women (although I will say that I prefer their outfits from the 2000s), I liked the way they used the screen to further this whole talkshow thing, I liked Jesus being spun around in that chair, its great

My one small complaint is that during that line where hes like "Cmon man, turn my water into wine" hes given this water bottle and then the water turns red and even with the camera focusing on the effect it just kinda looks pathetic, maybe they couldve done something with the screen instead like they did for the "walk across my swimming pool" line but idk

Judas' Death

Man I cant even properly describe how much I love both the song and execution of it, its so wonderfully visceral and tragic and oughhhhhhh

First of all, I adore Judas' performance hes so good here and he does a great job at letting the emotion bleed into his voice and make it sound like hes sobbing without his singing suffering from it like in the 2000s movie. Do I prefer the performance here over the 73 version? Ehhhhh I think Id need to directly compare the scenes before I feel comfortable making a statement about that and I dont feel like doing that right now.

The lighting is pretty simple here, its pretty much just red, but its really atmospheric and helps underscore Judas' anguish and you know me babey, I love watching this guy suffer

I was gonna write something about the suicide being done well before ending this section here but I just remembered something and immediately forgot what I was going to write, so heres the thing I remembered:

When I was watching the 73 movie and Judas committed suicide, I was like mouth-agape shocked, not because it happened suddenly or because it was edited in a particular way but because I didnt know he was going to kill himself. Ive had religious education as a class for the entirety of my school career, the only time we ever actually talked about the easter story in any kind of detail was when I was like 6 years old in the first grade. The teacher told us about all the most basic beats, Jesus had a bunch of buddys he took out to dinner one night, he tells them about how one of them will betray him, Judas betrays him for money, Jesus gets crucified and then Judas lives in disgrace and shame until the end of his days. What she didnt tell us is how those days end and like. I mean i guess she didnt lie did she

And after that the topic of The Easter Story never really came up and also I thought religious education was the most boring and pointless shit on earth so I never bothered looking into any of it at any other point in my life and thats how I managed to avoid spoilers for this 2000 year old story

I was gonna end the section here but I just remembered something else that I wanted to share, I promise this is thematically relevant

A few days after I watched the 2000s film I thought to myself "hey, this is a popular musical that was originally english but since its been around for like 50 years I wonder if theyve since made a german version" so I looked it up, found the german wikipedia page and yes, theres a german version that came out on vinyl in the 70s but its unfortunately missing a song (two if we're counting Then We Are Decided as well but that one was added for the movie and not originally in the musical). Since Im already on wikipedia I decide to just read the entire article and I find out that orthodox christians didnt like the musical because it paints Judas The Traitor in a sympathetic light and I do a bit of a double take because Im like. I thought Judas was generally seen as sympathetic??? Because again, the only time i was ever taught about this story in any detail was when I was 6 in first grade religious education class and I havent really thought about it since. I only vaguely remember that class but Im pretty sure the way my teacher explained the apostles was that they were like Jesus' closest buddies and when I heard that Judas ended up betraying his good friend Jesus I was really sad and felt really sorry for him ? I dont remember my exact emotions or thoughts but it was either "I really love my friends and one of them died I'd be so upset even if it was my fault they died" or "I would never rat my friends out and cause them to be killed for no reason so he mustve had a really good reason we're just not being told about" or a combination of those and then I never paid attention to christianity ever again so I just never changed my thinking

So yeah, youre looking at a lifelong Judas Iscariot apologist Im so glad to finally be reunited with my fellow men in my natural habitat which is the Jesus Christ Superstar Fandom

Trial Before Pilate

Funfact, someone on youtube uploaded the entire JCS german soundtrack and there they called it "Pilate's Interrogation (39 lashes included)" and idk I think thats mildly amusing

I gotta say this is definitely a little bit disappointing after the 2000s version which had that absolutely mental illness inducing (affectionate) part where every time hes meant to get whipped one of the people in the crowd runs up to him and strikes him and leaves a bunch of blood on his body until hes all wet n grimy from it. Its alright but idk it feels a bit less intense physically and Im not just talking about the lashings, Im also talking about Pilates coming down to Jesus at the very end and being like "Im holding your life in my hands". I dont remember what the 2000s movie did here but I know in the 70s movie hes actually cradling him in his arms and it makes this bit hit way harder, but in this version hes just kinda kneeling next to him like hes the gym teacher and Jesus is the unathletic kid who just somehow sprinted like 50 meters in order to not come in last for the race around the local playground theyre doing for PE and embarass himself in front of the class and is laying on the ground panting afterwars and feels like hes going to die.

While I dont think its as effective as it could be, those faceless silhoutte people standing outside that fence arguing with Pilate are decently menacing and Ive already talked about black as the color of the people involved in Jesus death and how you could see this as The Masses or The Public or whatever also being complicit in his death in some way. Also I think I remember seeing some red garments in that crowd as well which I also appreciate

Also, the makeup for his bloody back was really good

Superstar

Ive said it before I'll say it again, why wont they let my guy wear white for this part? Was that the tradeoff for having him look all cool as he descends down with the stagelights? Is this their attempt to placate those christians who disliked Judas being sympathetic so much they banned the musical in Belarus?

Anyway, I enjoyed it well enough despite that and I think it executed the concept of Jesus carrying his cross being filmed and broadcasted a lot better than the 2000s movie, simply by not having the guys doing the filming be Judas' guys and having them as well as the angels. That being said, the way this was filmed or the way this was cut together or maybe it was a combination of both, just made this really confusing and disorienting to watch. The camerawork is really good for most of this production so I have absolutely no idea whats going on here but its kinda bad ngl. And whenever there was a wideshot you could see that Judas and the angels were dancing and taking up most of the stage and then on the left corner there was Jesus and the people filming him all huddled together and I honestly cant imagine it looking that great on stage either but I guess I wasnt there so I may never know for sure

The Crucifixion

I cant adequately describe what I felt when I realized they were going to crucify him on the lighting fixture so I'll just say I think its sick as hell and move on

This is less of a song and more of a short monologue but I still felt like I had to talk about it because the actor who plays Jesus is absolutely amazing, I was a bit worried if he could pull this off at the start because he was kinda weak there, but he crushed it. I was also a bit worried that he wouldnt be all wet with blood since he already got lashed and was pretty dry at that point but then he bleed a bunch from his head wounds from the crown of thorns and I was satisfied. And the modern crown of thorns was a crown of barbed wire I love that

Thats it I think its about to be midnight and I spent like 2 days writing this and my head is just mush. Sorry if the last few segments seemed a bit disorganized, my head is just mush. I actually had a few more thoughts I was gonna put in this conclusion-thingy but my head is just mush so I'll just say this gets an 8/10 from me. I gave both of the previous versions a solid 7/10 because while I still thoroughly enjoyed them in their weird quirks and think theyre kind of charming in their occasional bouts of kinda bizarre shit on top of being good, this one felt more competent and like it had a stronger vision behind it. Thats it, thank you for reading my very long post

[detectivereads]

Sage Morton Rogue Druid Investigator

(The picture I made on Hero Forge it's a fun site) (this post is for fan entertainment; I am not being paid.)

This is my first character for D&D I have ever made I try to make not so Mary Sue.

Sage Morton

Race: Half Elf

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Class: Rouge (Rouges use 1D6) & Druid: Circle of Spores

Background: Investigator

Personality Traits: An inquisitive mind that searches for truth, well-mannered but comes off a bit cold, however she is nice. Sage can’t leave a problem alone if she knows something doesn’t add up. Hates to see people that just go for the easy answer.

(This is what I tried to play her as but she kind of went into left field.)

Ideals: I serve truth not justice. Where justice can be blind, truth is always there. She believes in doing the right thing.

Bonds: Her caretaker and mentor was accused of a crime that resulted in him being arrested. This was Sage’s first case (she is still working on it though); she gathers enough evidence to prove that her mentor didn’t do it, but he was sentenced to death before she could get to him.

Flaws: Sage’s desire to find the truth sometimes gives her tunnel vision, even when the matter is set and done (by authority’s standards) she will still pry. Also, she has a habit of taking evidence when it is part of the case. She also steals mystery books and tends to bend the rules to get to what she wants (she is a klepto).

Languages:

Common, elfish, Thieves Cant, undercommon.

Trinkets

Normal: Winter coat from a dead solider, spy glass that will see the world in chaos Nautical: Octopus ink quill- when written and then submerge in water the ink turns invisible.

Description:

Sage is a 5’6 half elf woman with white skin. She has long red hair tied into a braid and she has vibrant green eyes.

Sage wears earthy dark clothing (mostly black browns and greys, she has some splashes of green) what she carries on her is a pouch, a journal on her waist, twin daggers, and a short sword. She also wears knee high, high heeled boots (it gives her like a 1 to 2 inches of height) and light armor.

Light make-up, just some maroon lipstick.

Back Story:

Sage Morton grew up with her mentor after a plague wiped out her hometown when she was about six. Sage has few memories of her parents, knowing that her dad was an elf with long brown hair and her mom a human with short black hair.

Her mentor: Urghat ScarletSpear, he was half orc investigator; he was passing through the area and found her and took pity on her, taking her in. He was 6’7 with moss green skin with light brown hair and a long scar on his right forearm from an old case. He is a rogue (he taught Sage everything he knows)

Sage is dedicated to her mentor and is willing to learn anything from him to become a great investigator. She is the Watson to Urghat but she doesn’t mind; but she has developed some issues (she is a mystery reader loves reading mysteries).

When Sage was around 16/17, Urghat was accused of a crime by an unknown noble/person and arrested. Sage was scared and excited because this was going to be her first case, but she was also scared that her mentor was arrested, and she heard that he might be executed, so she was on a time limit.

She worked day and night to find the evidence that would either get Urghat out of jail or at least cast suspicion on someone else.

Sage did find the evidence that would at least get Urghat out of jail, and she ran to the guard captain, however the guard captain realized his mistake or at least that there is not enough evidence to hold Urghat. The guard captain states with some remorse that Urghat was executed early this morning.

This made Sage realize that justice can be manipulated and is blind, therefore she doesn’t believe in it, and that an investigator needs to seek the truth, that’s what matters. She buries her mentor body and makes a vow that she will find the perpetrator that cause his death. (Not so much revenge but she wants to know why?)

Overall, Character analysis:

She bright and friendly she is Chaotic Neutral, so she does what she wants. She is not an edge lord. Will say things that will make people around her question her sanity, but she has your back in a fight.

Her journey for the truth leads her to Gaintra, and she has been a ship for 3 weeks.

Crime the Urghat was accused of:

Some important documents and materials went missing but the last person that was seen in the area and handling them was Urghat (it was a job that a friend of friend ask for him to do).

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[zuzuslastbraincell]

Katara!

KATARA KATARA KATARA

why I like them

oh god where do i even start. katara just contains so many multitudes - she's sweet and feminine and caring and attentive but she's never reduced to just that, she's never just 'the girl', she's also allowed to get mad, to be petty, to laugh at her brother, to be headstrong and stubborn, to express vulnerability, to cry and to laugh, to make ridiculous facial expressions and *be* very expressive. she's dealing with a lot of trauma not simply from the loss of her mother but that loss represents also how her tribe have been decimated by the fire nation, how she's the last waterbender, how all this pressure exists on her shoulders (but also pride, but also determination, to bring it back) and that is expressed subtly throughout the series with the same depth and love that male characters are afforded with regard to their respective traumatic experiences. and despite all this she never tries to stop making the world good? She's always pushing for change, she's always wanting to make things better, she's relentless and doesn't give up when it comes to her vision for a better world... she has such a big heart. and that coexists with a deep anger in her, and deep hurt. Not to make an ocean metaphor so early on but she's as deadly and deep as the ocean but she chooses to be kind and warm and that's so powerful.

why i don't

honnestly while katara's instincts to mother people are a sad symptom of how she was forced to grow up to soon and automaically asigns herself a role of emotional responsibility she has mixed feelings about, i know that if katara tried to mother me, i would be annoyed. but that sounds more like a me problem.

favourite episode

oh it's either the episode where she beats the fucking shit out of pakku or it's the southern raiders. the first one because it's so gratifying to see how she's grown and developed as a bender and really come into her own. the second because... god i love how *messy* the southern raiders is, and it really taps into what i love about katara - she's flawed, she runs off on an ill-thought out revenge mission with zuko, she's got a great capability for darkness as she quite seriously considers murdering a man she has every right to loathe and to kill - but she chooses against it, in the end. it would not be right for her, if not him. she chooses what's right for her in the end.

favourite season

I'm gonna be a wee bit controversial and say book 1 had the best conception of katara's arc from student to master and really saw her grow and flourish, from someone yelling at her brother' oafish prejudice to a real master, that really solidified her as an idealist and presented that as the strength that is, that showed her struggling with petty jealousy of aang's progress and had her stumble in ways that made her character comeplling and interesting - like what an introduction to her character! book 2 had some fantastic moments but i can't think of anything particularly remarkable about hee character arc - largely because it tied into aang's romantic arc i think at this point. book 3 had some absolutely fantastic moments (scam queens katara and toph!! painted lady!! southern raiders!! the final agni kai) that really shone but also book 3 lays a lot of groundwork for fanon i hate (e.g. katara as the mom friend - wish that headcanon would die tbh)

favourite line

fuck there's a lot of good ones but my underrated fave is when sokka says he's kissed a girl before but she's never met her and katara says 'Who? Gran-gran? I've met gran-gran' and it's bruuutaaall

but my favourite serious line is 'I will never ever give up on people who need me'. powerful.

favourite outfit

water tribe anything!! and i actually think her book one/book two braids are her best hair. underrated katara hair. personally she looks just adorable in her parka in the flashback to when she was like. eight.

OTP

katara/personal fulfilment

katara/happiness

katara/fulfilling her goals and dreams

katara/loving minor background character who is never named

there's some ships i like in AU situations - yuetara is actually one i lov, especially with waterbender yue, i just love the whole sea/moon thing as well as katara and yue rebelling in loud/quiet ways, being girlfriends who refuse to have their lives defined by the expectations of older men, who have a great sense of duty towards their nations and won’t let gendered expectations stop them.

and most of you know i like the messy drama of katara/azula in a lighter AU situation where they're like, school or academic rivals, and the legacy of imperialism isn’t quite so personal (and azula makes better choices, obviously), but it’s not as much as i “ship” them as i just find the potential dynamic interesting, they’re both driven by a sense of duty for their home, it’s just that means *very* different things depending if you’re SWT or FN.

none of them are OTPs though - they’re more just fun thought experiments

brotp

katara & sokka - absolutely love their sibling dynamic its amazing. both have been impacted negatively by the shit in their lives and are not always dealing with it in functional ways but theyre there for each other, through thick and thin, always have each other's backs, they roast each other and bicker and sometimes make stupid decisions and sometimes lash out but at the end of the day their love pulls through, they’re able to work past those conflicts.

katara & aang - honestly while i feel kataang was just so poorly executed in the show (listen guys I just can’t after ember island players, i know that was a bad episode, but i can’t) & i cant imagine katara wanting to leave the south pole after the war for long spells (it would have to be long distance love, lots of profound and heartfelt letters and occasional visits, if anything, but i dont know if that’s what katara wants or needs? so maybe it wouldn’t pan out?), but regardless, i really do think these two had a life-changing friendship where each really represented hope for each other, that's at the core of it, they both truly believe in each other, and inspired each other. katara & aang good.

a headcanon

chief katara anyone?? chief katara?!?! 

oh oh OH i also think that katara, while primarily a combat bender during the war, actually takes to healing a lot more after the show and gets proper healing training at some point with the help of a trained medical expert and maybe yugoda. tbh i feel like the show was a bit dismissive of healing as an ability - i feel like having that is *extremely* useful in any combat situation, you always have a medic on hand - but i understand why katara, who wanted to be recognised as powerful regardless of her gender, and wanted to hold herself in a fight alongside sokka & aang, pushed for combat waterbending training because that is what 'powerful' looks like to her in the moment. obviously katara is capable of incredible healing feats (see: saving aang) but i think given we see her as a healer in lok (not a decision i necessarily disagree with) would mean a shift in focus. i think katara actually comes to realise she likes healing a great deal, but really she excels in all aspects of waterbending and is the south’s most respected master who helped rejuvenate southern style waterbending  

unpopular opinion

the main reason people think katara is straight is because we see her have very few meaningful interactions with other girls outside of toph. ATLA as a show is a bit romance obsessed, and very heteronormative in that regard, and so interactions with minor characters almost always line up with a potential crush for sokka or katara, and later, zuko (suki, haru, jet, yue, song, jin....). we rarely see katara build friendships with other girls and it’s such a damn shame.

(anyway bi katara for life)

a wish

the version of the puppetmaster we saw was actually fire nation propaganda, i feel like katara would have felt deep compassion for a prisoner of war and after maybe some clashes, would have agreed to help smuggle her out of the fire nation and secure passage home for hama, and tried to assure her that she still has a place there. the treatment of hama in that episode was awful (but also hama was written to be almost cartoonishly evil, very much an evil witch in her cottage in the spooky woods? like the whole horror movie / spooky story opening was such a big tell) and tbh i reject the thesis that we saw ‘katara’s dark potential’ in that episode completely, or that bloodbending as a power is inherently dark, or katara’s use of it to stop hama ‘corrupted’ her. I feel like katara might feel this way as a teenager perhaps but with time (she can be a little black and white at times), and especially with more training as a healer, i think she might realise that’s not the case, she’ll realise that she was right to try and oppose hama, her elder (she was lashing out rather than really trying to oppose the fire nation), and it wasn’t a betrayal of her or her beliefs, but also her use of bloodbending wasn’t wrong or evil inherently at all? and maybe she’d find ways to use it for healing purposes? anyway my wish is that, i like the idea that they meet again, speak about their differences, reconcile a little / come to an understanding, and katara learns more from hama again

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen

anything where katara’s character is reduced to a comforter or a healing device for a man and his trauma. particularly zuko. (they don’t have that dynamic in canon thankfully, zuko would never, zuko respects her too much)

5 words to describe them:

idealistic, hard-working, powerful, headstrong, kind

my nickname for them:

chief. or comrade. :^)

[keycrash]

im sorry, the more you talk about rp on twitter the more Curious i get about the plot and stuff so. i understand that akane ditched the ab project bc the timeline got diverted, but how exactly did the timeline divert, and how did akane realise it did? and why'd you guys decide to have the timeline divert enough that ab project couldn't happen? thanks!

under cut because. i get embarrassed.

so the timeline in general basically got muddled/diverted the second we started fucking around with the characters. because of The Nature Of Rp we have a lot of different universes interacting & justify that as the construct of a literal multiverse within the plot, and the snowball influence of it changed enough that it could no longer connect with the vlr future

for one, aoi was kind of... hanging out in a different universe when the apocalypse happened, so he doesn’t die in it. (it was most convenient for our plot that we say he was ‘supposed’ to die according to akane’s vision of the future.) a few years later, when junpei shows up, aoi (who, when he could, would help send aid to the ZEverse apocalypse) helped get junpei and carlos placed at a shelter that was just getting founded bc conditions at their old shelter were super crowded and bad (and they got aid to that one as well). at the new shelter junpei met ren, a first nonary game kid, and after they were friends for a while and junpei was aggressively restless at his job at the shelter (radio operator & translator), they volunteered together to be a team for shelter explorations, where teams would go out to check up on shelters that weren’t in their communication network & either get them set up, report them as dead shelters, report them as viable to establish a new shelter, or take supplies if it can’t be salvaged

and due to Shenanigans ztd’s bomb shelter ended up being on the list (i decided that ‘ground zero’ of rad-6 was mistakenly reported as the nearby dcom facility rather than the bomb shelter). junpei and ren went there, junpei didnt remember shit, of course, bc of memory wipe, but if you recall in the apocalypse timeline of ztd, akane, junpei, and carlos are all time clones and didnt originally belong to the timeline— their original selves were executed in the vote.

so while exploring in the pod room running on reserve power the two found the dead bodies of the original junpei carlos and akane. junpei understandably flips his shit, ren contacts aoi to get carlos, who was at a hospital shelter visiting maria. (side note— carlos had been meeting akane during those maria visits bc akane had promises of curing maria, but he had to keep all correspondence with akane completely secret; so he’d seen her alive hours before). so they figure out carlos is fine, junpei’s fine, but carlos cant say that akane’s fine bc akane kind of internalizes in him that if junpei finds out anything the timeline will be fucked and carlos is carrying guilt enough as is from the apocalypse.

anyway junpei has a dramatic mental break later, aoi has a quiet, slow burning decline bc regardless of any of their theories about if akane is alive out there, he feels that the dead akane was His (timeline’s) akane and that hits him hard. he organizes a... not exactly funeral, but some stuff to memorialize her, junpei’s there. junpei leaves the one photo he has of akane. that’s the kicker.

at carlos and akane’s next meeting akane talks about how she never got to ask her brother why he hid the truth abt their parent’s deaths because he’s dead, and carlos is like uhh, i talk to aoi all the time he’s alive. he also mentions the C team bodies and subsequent events, and that’s when akane knows shit’s fucked.

so, two factors in the diversion:

a more passive one; aoi’s death wasn’t ‘necessary,’ it didn’t contribute to the AB project, but it was an indicator of being on the right track, a necessary consequence but not cause of being on the right timeline. without it, she knows something went wrong

a more active one; junpei giving up the photograph, which is minor in and of itself but indicative of larger shifts in junpei’s behavior and development that are setting him on a different path than tenmyouji was meant to follow

anyway at the time akane realized this, diana was due to die in like, 3 months. so she had that much time to come up w a proof of concept for some new way of solving their problems; she did manage to, deciding to utilize newfound knowledge of the multiverse to try to test technology for modifying the transporters to work across universes & become easy access to any timeline you want w/o duplication. with enough confidence in that she saved diana’s life and dragged sigma diana and the pods back down to facilities on earth to begin work at creating and perfecting that technology and figuring out how to utilize it 

and as for the question of Why: basically i really wanted to RP akane and phi, but i wanted them interacting with everyone else down the line, which wouldn’t be possible if akane were to continue with the AB project. i also now have the freedom to take junpei off of the strict path of VLR without worrying what ripple effects it’d have later. whatever we end up doing it’s definitely going to be less tightly-woven and thematic than ZE/the AB project, but it’ll be better suited to a rp environment and it’ll give us some more freedom to use characters that were previously occupied for 45 years. also i’m just having fun.

[kendrixtermina]

The "waifu bait" criticism of Edelgard is so dumb given that most of the cast is technically waifu/husbando bait in one way or another, they're all meant to appeal to players as romance options, and she's the only one getting flack for it. (Well, not the only one, there were some people giving Dimitri shit too for being "wish fullfillment for stupid teenage girls who think they can fix a man," but I see the complaint most often with Edelgard.)

Yeah. I mean, you can boink Rhea and Jeritza!

It’s not like satelite love interests aren’t a plague onto anime and fiction in general, but I only ever hear this “you only like them because they’re waifu/bishie” thing directed at characters who very much DO have personality, unique compelling features and plot relevance. 

I’ve also seen this thrown at, say, Evangelion’s Miss Ayanami, as if all the fascinating sci-fi concept stuff and compelling narrative about finding your own worth and making a connection in a cruel lonely world wasn’t there - and at least we do see her through a “main character’s love interest” sorta lens. (I was thinking about how Byleth is actually quite similar, except more proactive with more of a dorky side, and less philosophical/reflective, but because Byleth is the MC we come off with a fairly different impression. )

Meanwhile with Edelgard they really didn’t pull any punches, the whole story is set in motion and dominated by her active choices, most the unique designs/outfits she gets are geared to look elegant/powerful.  (Apart from the usual ‘individually wrapped boob armor would break your sternum’ thing but you’d really have to know physics for that/ could be fixed easily by making the fit more sweater-like), she has a specific discernable philosophy and makes impactful choices, that can genuinely be agreed or disagreed with.

You can’t swag her into your way of thinking - you can only ally with her under the presupposition that you already actively agree. (See all the people complaining that you cant “criticise her more”, expecting her to be like Dimitri basically even though they are exact opposites. You can only get on her route by making two deliberate choices. I mean they wrote this with your first playthrough in mind, in-universe you’re not there because you wanna complete all aroutes but because you actively chose to join her after she spent a year unsubtly trying to recruit you to her cause)

You don’t talk Claude out of his tactics either. (and forcing it all into this comparision often leads ppl to overlook that he has ambiguities or character development at all, maybe he isn’t vilified but he gets simplified and therefore wronged just as much in the end. They’re not all Dimitri. The whole point of having three or four different potential deuteragonists to choose from is that they’re different)… heck, even if you look at Dimitri, you only get him back to what he really wanted to do back in part I before his black-and-white thinking and exaggerated sense of duty got the better of him. 

With all three, joining them eventually just enables them to get closer to their actual vision. Back when you meet her in Remire, Edelgard outright tells you that “with your power on my side, we could courttail the slitherer’s atrocities much more efficiently”. You don’t change her mind at all; You enable her to use “Plan A”. Same with Claude, who otherwise plains much more defensively both because he has less support and because he’s more jaded. And Dimitri essentially pulls a Sayaka, ie being unable to live up to his own unrealistic standards drive him to lose all hope and become the very opposite of the hero he wanted to be, but you do help him get back to that, or to a more balanced mature understanding of that. 

The best proof of that is that the popularity poll numbers actually went down after the release, ie a lot of ppl who liked her just bc they liked her design were turned off that there’s a specific personality there that isn’t necessarily their type/ a MO they don’t necessarily agree with. Or all those peeps complaining that the S-support was too understated for them. Claude got that too - They’re just not the most open/expressive people in the world, one would think that after playing through their routes you would know and understand that. Whereas Dimitri has been super emotional from day one (which is both his greatest strength and greatest weakness), so it figures that he’d be more conventionally romantic. 

- Hardly things that would happen if she were written to be “blandly pleasant”.  I mean generally speaking she’s not the best as showing her feelings and when she does she’s often pretty blunt at it even with her closest friends (El: ”Hubert! I order you to tell me what it is you’re not telling me!” Hubert: [elegantly weasels out of answering] El: [after he’s left the room] I’m worried about him tho. )

Seems senseless to claim that she’s blandly pleasant when she’s absolutely gotten a love-it-or-hate-it-marmite-reaction all across the board. It also seems to go along with the implicit idea that everyone who likes her is heterosexual boys. I’m neither, and it’s not like heterosexual boys aren’t ever interested in “plot” or “writing” I mean geez. Though I would resist the temptation to fully ascribe it to things like that. 

To an extent it’s simply confusion. “How can they like this thing that obviously sucks? Must be an ulterior motive”, whereas in reality ppl who like her have probably parsed what happened here differently to begin with (It depends greatly on how powerful you concluded Rhea was, ie, wether what Edelgard is doing is a conquest or a revolt. She certainly sees it as a revolt. Even today in the modern day most of us see revolts as legitimate, or at least, if they get overly destructive, as a fault of the bad government. Heck, there are many on this very site who would label all revolts legit by default (”eat the rich”, the more ‘original sin-like’ variants of privilege theory) which is further than I would go )

There certainly are a bunch of ‘cute’ scenes post holy-tomb scene and under the assumption that Edelgard is this my-way-or-the-highway type of person that many have her pegged as I can see how they might think that it “makes no sense” but that’s really down to wanting her not tp step outside of that idea they have of her. I mean even supervillains have silly everyday situations. Bin Laden loved Disney Movies, Hitler loved his dogs. By itself that has nothing to do with morality or likeability. It’s just being human. Supervillains blush, not because they’re not villains, but because they have blood vessels in their faces. It’s only logical that once you get close to someone and get them to trust you, you get to see more of their silly or vulnerable sides. It’s the same with Rhea. (except that the same people argue that having personable vulnerable sides at all makes Rhea good s of course it causes some cognitive dissonance when Edelgard also has them. I’ve yet to see ppl calling “waifuism” on Rhea (whom I would consider a full-fledged villain), and they shouldn’t - it’s characterization.) Same with ppl calling Edelgard a “manchild” for liking stuffed animals and sweets. She’s actually very mature and adult for her age, having some interests that aren’t super high-minded is just realistic and if you looked at her as a full 3D person who can have more than one trait you’d see that. 

This also goes with that tendency of holding up AM as the gold standard complaining about the lack of AM-like plot that they completely miss the different but equally compelling character arcs in VW and CF. That’s not a lack of arc, that IS the arc, it’s just a different arc: We get to see this tough, in-control high-minded character who’d completely given up on the normal life she wanted so much and resigned herself to never being understood finding out that she is very much still capable of normalcy and humanity and finding friendship and love and I think that’s beautiful. It’s my jam. 

And it’s meaningful precisely because it’s a change from only seeing the tough leader guise otherwise. Complaining about that is like complaining about getting to see Claude’s more wistful, dreamy, benevolent, not-entirely self-interest side in VW or claiming that the writing would be better if he were just a straight-up selfish trickster. Actually, if you removed their heroic traits you’d end up with a lot more generic characters. You’d simply get every wild card trickster ever, and every “Nietzschean” villain ever.  It’s the fact that they’re unconventional heroes that makes Claude and Edelgard so unique, compelling and interesting. If you like conventional heroes, Dimitri is right here. Your basic heroic fantasy ‘rightful king returns/ soft peace loving hero’, plus your basic jrpg guilt-ridden angsty protagonist. I mean there’s good reason that these character archetypes are popular. Plus he’s especially well-executed and recontextualized by the contrast to the others, but there he is, enjoy him! We’re not stopping you. 

It’s really Seteth who came up short arc wise. You could have given him an arc, the potential was there, he essentially transistions from protecting himself and his family to taking on his family’s heroic quest and rising up to that, but he doesn’t get like, a scene reflecting on that. Or you could’ve sent them on some mission to actually curb some corrupt cardinals etc, shown them actually reforming the church and realizing that it wasn’t all perfect, after all he very much knows that Rhea herself wasn’t all perfect. 

For all that much of media is obsessed with making characters “hot”, the truth is that if people like them for any reason, they will find them hot anyways, regardless of whether that was the intention. (unless the people in question are aroace, or the character is a literal, realistic prepubescent child)

You don’t have to “make”  a character hot for ppl to find them so.

[hopefulpride]

Twisted fates //All For One

@pillar-of-peace​

These days were almost glory for the Symbol of Evil, a shame though; for one to be forced to admit his defeats even if it was done mentally. If he could erase a few things from existence only then would his world become perfection. To do so, the male needed a good plan only he could execute and could trust none making his task a bit more difficult. All for one would have to understand and know when to walk away and fight another day. In the end, Shigaraki always had time on his side as well as his quirks should he actually find serious trouble. When failing to accomplish goals it was only natural for one to fall into repetition learning to never make those same mistakes again. The more he pondered, the more he grew a bit more frustrated but this was his cause and he was relentless with it and his influence.

How was it that a man can become god and yet the things that should have been so simple ended up being the most difficult? Man-kind was already submitting to those who held the power with or without quirks and yet his Nemesis rose in all of its various forms to tell him his views were flawed. What right is given where a man can stand in front of another and tell him his cause means nothing and that he should abandon it. It was infuriating in the least but also part of the fun and Shigaraki held no regrets on that matter. Every time he heard a Hero speech he would roar in laughter on the inside with the humor of irony. Such hypocrisy in every word yet one always seems to refuse to look at self first, and he is to accept their cause? It was pure nonsense!

He held everything necessary in the palm of his hand but he couldn't ascend to the throne yet. Why?  One would easily point a finger and blame the multiple circumstances but in the end anything worth holding never came easily. Even as Hero's and Heroine's chose their paths the path of a villain was also chosen. Why was there a title to separate the paths of the chosen, shouldn't one be free to choose his own fate? The conclusion that came caused his thin lips to curl into a smile and a soft deep chuckle to escape him.

Those who choose to stand by idolized concepts should fall in the most glorious of ways to make an example for the rest. All for one believed that one was born with a destiny and that justified his reasoning. After all, to be gifted such an opportunity would in itself explain why he was worthy. His cause would be heard and those in his path would yield or die regardless. Shigaraki had made many errors and took heed to the many things he learned from them. Some situations had to be handled delicately and being a gentlemen with words often assisted him in matters like these. With years came wisdom and habits after all. Shigaraki wasn't too worried with what might happen because it was futile to ponder on such things. If he tried a plan it really didn’t matter the outcome because in the end time was his friend. Besides, How else was a guy to spend the years? A body at rest dies and a body in motion stays in motion. It was simple physics, why should he give up his will on their terms without a decent fight? To do so would be simply disrespectful.

Folding his arms over his chest, All for one set with his eyes closed the silence of the room comforting him. Shigaraki needed to sort these matters without distraction. In his mind he could reason but the reality was he had a problem that could not be fixed by force alone. Things were not going his way and if he acted in rash manner he could loose everything. Fear was to be controlled and that was what held back his hand; why Shigaraki took the time to think through his matters before reacting. All for one thought himself to be a patient man cultured by time. The male felt that organized chaos was able to be controlled if one was smart enough to understand it. These thoughts circled his mind as he set for hours in the silence. The weight of the task at hand was heavy but still Shigaraki did not move until he had the perfect plan. Instead he crossed one leg delicately over the other his arms still folded over his broad chest. A simple digit tapped his bicep, tapping with repetition to each thought that passed through his twisted mind. Shigaraki wore a peaceful expression upon his features keeping the rage within under a tight leash.

In the end Shigaraki came to one realization. The problems sorted in his mind meant he could not do more than represent his cause and back up the heart-beat behind his agenda. That was fine so long as there was somebody who could take his place. Such contradictory, but it was indeed critical for his plan to work. He could build up many but they all either ended up destroying themselves or changing to uselessness in the end so taking that path was pointless. A exasperated sigh left the other as Shigaraki  slouched forward bringing his hands together clasping the digits together over his lap. He now had a plan and it was time to execute it; just as time was his friend it was also his greatest enemy. It would lay way for a trail of twisted hope and that could bring a halt to his plans.

He first had to access the files hidden away but the hands of the naive handled those. His eyes grew darker as Shigaraki sorted the many faces he would have to visit. He had pawns everywhere and figured it shouldn't take too long to find the one who was perfection in his eyes. One for all was quite troublesome but that would be handled in the same means. Two birds one stone, if you will. If All for one was to end her then he would have to do so before she passed the quirk.

Shigaraki could bring up a new face she would not see coming and use that to weaken her stance. Why was that damned flame was so difficult to put out? Again the male began to wonder what kind of person it would take to tie into her heart enough to move her. Rising from his seat he was content, jerking his sleeves down before casually brushing himself off his mind finally made up. All for One needed only find one who is able to handle the weight he would place upon their shoulders and simply push them to move forward with his vision. 

The strings of course, would never be cut but he could make such puppet strings out of kind words and a soft touch, as well as a little encouragement. Everything would play out perfectly and in the end he could destroy One for all before it could be passed. The smile stretched across his firm features as he moved through the halls. The shadows cast from the lights shifted about as he passed through the halls in silence. This would play out so beautifully, like a song you play on repeat. He was almost beside himself in the thought of vision. Even if those thoughts were only plan A, he had already concocted a few ways to handle should the plans fail one by one. There was always more than one way to skin a cat and All for one was quite persistent. Any who rose to stop him he could simply turn into an example.

After spending months to search and prepare his eyes settled on a bright young blond boy that held promise captured in the picture. Setting aside the other files he began to decipher the exact location of this child. Shigaraki would find himself spending a lot of time to mold a creature vile enough to push through his plans without objection or conscience. The others he could tell simply by looking at them that they could not stomach the fight much less the war.

"Yagi?"

The boy was quirkless to speak and perfect. Residing within region was also a plus considering All for one would not have to cross the lines of diplomacy in his search. Shigaraki though emotionless in body language was very pleased with his conclusions. It was as if fate had handed him a picture of perfection and molded it with the intention of All for One picking it up to groom before tossing into the world. Holding up the picture he studied it with a tilt of his head a soft laugh echoing out from the male. He was beside himself and slouched down patting the young male before him on the back.

"You have done so well and I am beside myself with gratitude!"

As his hand moved across the others back the smiling male leaned over his shoulder so he could see the others face as the last words left his lips. Why would any who is called a villain miss the moment when fear arises in ones soul.

"I think that I should....."

Before he could finish the words the minion jumped from his seat with quick frantic bows shoving away the offer he knew was coming. The sadistic smile on Shigaraki’s lips sent chills down the others back. All for one began again a bit irritated to have been interrupted in the first place.

"Oh no, you seem to misunderstand. I truly am grateful."

Placing a hand over his own chest he met the male with emotionless features holding the intent for a second he debated his actions. Shifting in his step Shigaraki turned to approach once more in calm steps. The clank of his shoe echoing out as he waited for that perfect spine tingling moment that usually comes aright after life flashes before ones eye.

"Do understand, this is only because I cant really have anyone for the so called "Heros" to track and as anxious as you are now I doubt you took much caution. It is quite fine all the same because you DID accomplish your goals."

As All for one continued sweat formed on the males brow his breathing growing ragged as he backed away. All for one could see it! The mind searching for a way out of the situation in panic. Shigaraki couldn't help the chuckle at the sight counting the seconds deciding to give his last tiny push.

"You see, this is my favorite part when..."

Lifting a finger in calm manner to point out the others disregard of all decency he paused allowing the moment to manifest. His lips sealed as the begging came and he took a another deep breath narrowing his eyes his free hand still holding the file that was given to him earlier. 

Once the door again slid open again, Shigaraki made his exit as if nothing had happened. His eyes were glued to the information on the page, thankful he had made it this far so flawlessly. Glancing down to his Suit coat he lifted the pin stripped fabric closer to his eyes to inspect. Narrowing blue hues he noted the blood that had splattered onto it. A soft breath left him as he again comments out-loud this time.

"Well almost.........flawlessly"

He catered to his own humor in his exit laughter roaring down the hallway. If he planned this right he would be able to rid himself of one for all and find a puppet to dance across the lands in his place. He held no issue handing over the power however it was up to the recipient to be able to handle it.

"Yagi Toshinori, I will be seeing you soon my child I certainly hope you are worth my time I despise those who are useless to this new world of quirks!"

[nadrianne]

Gone with the Petals (Chuuya Nakahara)

You already knew,yet you keep this façade of yours.

You knew he loves someone else, yet you cant bring yourself to stop loving him.

You knew you would die in a few months, yet you still look at him with love and admiration.

You knew that no matter what,You would either die with these feelings for him or live with no particular emotions for him.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" The red haired executive asked as you coughed,covering your white handkerchief with red hue. You nodded in response to your,practically, boss.

"Y-Yes, Sir .." You stuttered,clenching the piece of cloth on your hand. "E-Excuse me for a while" You could feel that the coughing fit would start soon,you slowly feel the petals in your throat.

Chuuya only dismissed you. What he sees was only a sick subordinate. nothing more,nothing less. You knew that. You knew that you're only a subordinate to him.

Walking through the hallway of the Port Mafia Headquarters, you started to feel the wave of dizziness as your vision blurs,soon your surroundings were now enveloped in black.

"The doctors said its Hanahaki Disease. I can't believe this..." The executive, Kouyou Ozaki said as she gracefully sat on the chair beside the hospital bed-which you are currently on.

"A promising subordinate gets this ridiculous excuse of a disease? Tell me, for who do these feelings exist? Tell them immediately about it so it may lessen your burden or yet, Have the operation perform in a few days." Her voice shows concern. You only looked at your superior.

"I'm sorry ma'am... and to answer your question,its for my superior, Nakahara Chuya. It would be impossible for me to tell him what I feel because...I know he already loves someone else."

"I'll have the doctor schedule your operation next week" With that, Kouyou stood up and left the room.

You feel really lonely.

You feel confused.

Should you tell Chuuya about your feelings?

_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _

The day of the operation comes close... You can't possibly tell him how you feel.

Besides, even if he knew what you feel...He would only reject you.

The woman who captured his heart was still unknown to you. Never have he ever showed us a picture of his lover. I mean who are we, but his underlings working for him?

The door suddenly opened to see the hat wearing executive with his arms full of baskets of fruits.

"Oi, You better be okay. You hear me?" Chuuya said,placing the baskets on the table beside you.

"I have an operation this week,sir. I might need some time off of work" This annoyed Chuuya.

"Look, You are one of those people who are diligent and loyal to the mafia. We can't lose you."

ah... so its just for the Mafia and not for you.

You faked a smile. "Don't worry,sir. I'll be good as new when I recover"

"Call me Chuuya... well Chuuya-san if you like. Anyways,what is your diagnosis ?"

so his Ane-san didn't told him about it.

"Dont worry about me,Chuuya-san" shrugging the topic off. He won't buy it so Chuuya asked Kouyou about the diagnosis.

"She was diagnosed with Hanahaki disease..."

_---------------------_

"Sir- We cant let the patient do that!" You can hear the doctor argue with someone just right out your door.

"Just today! Only today, I'm sure she feels like trapped in this hospital." The manー Chuuya argued back as he opened the door to your room.

"Get up, We are going to go to some places today,Y/n" He said, his look almost terrifying. The doctor was hesistant but your superior glared at him and lets you go only for a day.

First, you went to eat at a local restaurant, a traditional Japanese Cuisine restaurant. You can see the wonderful view of the restaurant's garden as you and Chuuya wait for your orders.

After, Chuuya stopped by a shop. A jewelry shop. He eyed the simple yet expensive diamond necklace.

"Do you think she'll like this?" He asked you as he makes you try the necklace. His face close to yours as he was putting on the necklace,locking it behind your neck. You can feel blood rushing to your cheeks. In the end, Chuuya bought the necklace.

Lastly, You both spent the rest of your day at the Port Side. You look at your superior and smiled.

"Thank you for today,Chuuya-san" at least the pain eased a bit.. He gave you a gentle smile and sat down on the stairs,letting you both have the view of the beautiful sea.

"I brought you here... because.. Y/n.. I want to make you feel better." Chuuya said,his bossy demeanor dropped. You let your head lean on his shoulder, the disease is not only about coughing flower petals.

"Chuuya-san,I have a small favor to ask" you started, the feeling of nervousness sprouts within you.

"Can... you please say 'I Love You' to me?" you asked,knowing its an indirect confession. Chuuya looked like a fish out of water. More or less he was speechless.

"I.. Y/n... You can't make someone say that easily..You can't force someone to love you back." he reasoned, those three words,eight lettered phrase scared him. He doesn't want to give her false hope.

"Y/n... those words. its really special.Besides being in love with someone... is taboo in the mafia. I mean,look at what happened to you!I don't want to give you any false hope. I'm sorry I can't do what you ask of me. " You smiled. You should have expected this answer. He already gave you his answer.

Rejection

_-------------_

Bursting through the executive's office was one of Chuuya's men who are assigned to guard Y/n.

"SIR, Y/N CALLED HER OWN OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL!" This caught Chuuya's attention.

At the very same time,Kouyou entered his office. Looking back and forth between Chuuya and the guard,she spoke.

"I suggest you go find her. You are the only who can save her,after all." He didn't need to be told twice. He quickly grabbed his coat and hurriedly looks out for you. He first went to the hospital only to see your room being tidied and clean

as if you weren't there in the first place.

He couldn't accept that you just went up and go missing. He rushes out of the building,looking left and right for you. Maybe you havent gone far? He tried to be optimistic. Trying not to let the worse scenarios play his mind while he searches for you.

It felt like he was hit by a bus when the realization dawned at him

"She got diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease"

"Chuuya-san.. can you please tell 'I Love You' to me?"

"SIR, Y/N CALLED THE OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL"

It was him. You are in love with him and he just realized it now.Countless calls were made, screaming your name in the middle of the busy streets of Yokohama. He couldn't find you. He almost lost hope until he remembers the Port side that you two spent the evening one time.

Out of breath,He arrived at the Port side. Your frail body on the stairs as you quietly watch the sea and ships. Then you spoke.

"You know... I wanted this to be my resting place. I want to die while I hear the large ships going to the port,birds flying over and the waves crash against the sea wall" her voice rang through his head. Seeing her in this state,it broke him.

"I knew I'd die soon.. and I commend you for figuring it out"

"When would you tell me?"

"Does it even matter?You are the one who told me,being in love within the mafia is taboo."

"I could have helped yo-"

"You also said that you cant force someone to love you back. So... tell me,does it even matter if I confessed to you?"

Chuuya couldn't answer you. He didn't know what or how to answer you.

"I would rather die with feelings for you. Knowing that in my life, I loved a man named Chuuya Nakahara... than live but knowing that once... that this," you pointed at you chest, "belonged to the man named Chuuya Nakahara.." you smiled at him sadly. "If only things were different..."

_--------------_

You were found lying peacefully in your bed, flowers-lilacs blossoming out of your chest. it was a gruesome yet fascinating sight. Blood covered the lilacs' petals,staining is beauty as it also stained your now pale,cold,lifeless body.

You were gone

Gone with the petals

[tootiefrootieroll]

I feel like Dany

I feel like I'm literally going mad.

I wanted her to be the mad queen I was okay with the idea of her burning kings landing to the ground. Especially after the shit she has been through her entire life and the recent seasons. I wanted the red keep to be exactly like the vision from the house of the undying a throne room with no roof and snow ash blanketing the room.

What I didn't want was her setting ablaze millions of innocents and civilians.

I realize she was going for this arc since the beginning. Her advisors Jorah, Barriston and Tyrion have always had to keep her worse impulses at bay (I want to say from season 4? and on). She has always dealt with her problem with her dragons, but her problems and enemies dying by fire has always been seen as just; not just seen but portrayed and presented as just.

It just isnt computing correct to me. Why she didn't just go straight for the castle, burn the fucker to the ground. She literally had no reason to burn the city, the people.

But also can you blame her for being this way? She has fought tooth and nail for the greater good of what she can obtain and do in perspective to her power. Fast forwarding to when she arrived in Westeros, she put aside her life goal for "the good of the realm" and helped the North. She lost a dragon, she lost her armies, she lost her most trusted advisor. She lost everything. She could of taken the entire city with just landing on Blackwater's bay. They would surrendered because she was THAT powerful.

She sacrificed everything so she could have a kingdom to rule. And then they won, and literally nobody is grateful for it. Everyone on the entire continent is like "lol arya killed the night king, dany didnt do anything, the north rules".

So really the people in Kings Landing deserved it. Like they knew what Cersei was, she blew up a whole God damn church of people and they still flocked to her because they heard the "crazy lady who sacrificed the most to save the entire continent was on her way to sack the city." If you heard someone was coming to take the throne why would you immediately relocate to the closest proximity of said throne.

This shit character arcs is literally walking the line of valid and not. She had the tendencies to be crazy, she had the fire power, she has made the threats (season 2 anyone), she didnt have the characteristics to burn innocents alive. Not when a whole 3 seasons was her saving innocents.

Although wouldnt you go a little crazy watching everything you built and worked for go right down the drain. Like finishing a 10 page essay and then having your computer crash. I know my immediate response is "well fuck this".

Sorry this is a mess. I am still pretty livid. It's just too contradictory. Somethings work and some dont. That's what lazy writing is. When you dont have continuity in a characters development and arc. When I as an audience member has to sit here in a mental breakdown because the pieces of the puzzle fit but are from two different puzzles.

Also last note, either Sansa is going to take it all. Bc let's be honest here she is the only one who knows how to play the Game. Or I want Dany to take it all. I want her to strangle Jon I want her to execute millions of others. I want her to melt the Iron Throne into nothing. Yall want a full mad queen by damn give it to me.

But does she deserve the throne? No. She cant really rule for shit. In the books and partially in the show, Slaver's Bay struggled with the new ruling and she was barely keeping it together. So does she really need to rule 7 kingdoms????

I can do this all night folks. Pray for me.

[thesportssoundoff]

“No but seriously, he has one eye” The Brawl For All Combatants Ordered Out!

So a few weeks ago, I presented you with a beginning outline of what I'm aiming to do here. A chance to take a long look at the Brawl For All; a concept so insiduous that I imagine even Vince McMahon has aimed to bury it in the deepest recesses of his mind. The first time out we looked at its genesis, the concepts and the back stories beyond the concepts:

http://thesportssoundoff.tumblr.com/post/183395306465/what-happens-when-you-take-a-bad-idea-and-make-it

NOW let's take a long look at who participated, who didn't participate and the fallacy behind the entire project IF rumors are to be believed.

A Hot Take To Lead Us Off

This is something I long theorized but a long look at the people involved in the Brawl For All confirmed it for me. So by and large, the Brawl For All was a stupid dumb concept. Agreed, right? Well what if it could've worked elsewhere? Now again the rules are dumb, the genesis behind it was dumb, everything about it from stem to stern is full of stupidity. Allow me to argue that it COULD have worked; just not in the WWF. When you see the roster the WWF was working with here, it's not going to blow you away on paper and we obviously have a mighty fine idea of how the execution went. What about a different Brawl For All roster? Saaay (in 1998 when this happened):

Rick or Scott Steiner- Decorated All American wrestlers for the University of Michigan Scott Norton- Legitimate tough guy bad ass professional arm wrestler, former bodyguard of Prince Jerry Flynn- Taekwando practitioner, former mixed martial artist Earnest Miller- Three time karate champion Glacier- Professional karate man dude prior to pro wrestling Brian Knobbs/Jerry Saggs- The JBL's of WCW in more ways than one seemingly Meng- All time legendary tough guy and bar room savage Barbarian- Genuine tough guy El Dandy- Jam Up Guy Serious Professional All Around Good Man

Plus the other litany of guys who were noted shooters or tough guys on the undercard. Let's also be fair and note that the South was a touch more receptive to the UFC at this point in time than say the East Coast as well. Perhaps it could've worked with a better roster and perhaps WCW, with its glut of shooters and tough guys respected in the industry, would've been better suited for a Brawl For All.

Or maybe it's just a stupid fucking idea with no merit. That too.

So who DIDN'T participate?

Well let's start with the very beginning and work our way back. Let's talk about some of the guys who just opted NOT to participate. For starters, the big stars were obviously not going to partake in this. Right off the jump you have to assume Undertaker, Austin, DX, The Rock, Kane, Mankind, Vader and the like are not going to be participating. This was about giving a bunch of guys they kind of didn't give a shit about something to do so that meant no sacrificing top stars. It was filler programming and obviously everybody doing important shit was busy doing important shit. Also of note was that the WWF did not want originally the likes of Dan Severn, Steve Blackman and Ken Shamrock in it. Ken apparently wasn't interested and made the argument that it didn't benefit him given the fact that he was a genuine UFC star still to take a pit stop in pro wrestling. At the same time, Dan Severn was asked not to participate at first and then had to be coerced into taking a spot when injuries happened. The same goes for Steve Blackman who was signed up after a few drop outs occurred, primarily due to the promise of Blackman being allowed to throw kicks in the tournament. The dropouts are hard to pinpoint but Tiger Ali Singh is one of the more notorious ones per Bob Holly. I've also read around that Ahmed Johnson was at one point supposed to be in it but I've never been able to confirm that (or remember the shoot interview that it was mentioned in). The point is that on its face, the Brawl For All was going to be a shoot fighting tournament without the two genuine proven shoot fighters in case you're curious about the true idea behind it.

Also as an MMA fan, I can't help but notice the # of "I was a last minute addition" stories these guys have. Lord knows that has to be a common thing said by guys like Sean Shelby and Mick Maynerd to get some of these fights done. I'd imagine that "We need a guy and you're going to help us out!" sweet talk happens to this day. My immediate thought is that they were either a) having a tough time filling spots in the Brawl For All and started telling people they were in need of last minute additions or b) most of these guys regret doing it and figure saying they were last minute replacements helps take the edge off.

So who WAS in?

We got sixteen names so buckle up and pour a drink or two.

8-Ball- Ron Harris aka 1/2 of The Blu Brothers aka Vince Russo's Creative Control. Vince Russo has never been a master of subtlety and so I suppose it's no surprise that one of his top angles was "Gang Warz" pitting an all white stable (The DOA) vs an all Puerto Rican tag team (Los Boricuas) vs a mostly all black tag team (the Nation Of Domination). Needless to say, Vince Russo makes it hard to defend him sometimes. To my knowledge neither Ron nor brother Don have any sort of proven fighting experience and the less said about them (and their tattoos), the better off we'll be. Ron (and Don) were rumored to have threatened Shawn Michaels on their last night in the WWF in the 90s, a rumor that seems to be corroborated by at least a few folks.

Steve Blackman- Most of the dudes who talk about the Brawl For All admit that this guy probably wins it all things being equal. Blackman had a legit karate background with some muay thai and amateur wrestling mixed in. Besides Blackman somehow overcame being bedridden for two years with malaria to become a legitimate pro wrestler so needless to say if it's a "Who wants it more?" shoot type deal, he's going to cover the grit and grind department well. Blackman is also rumored to have once taken down The Big Show and held him down until Show begged him to let him up which is akin to Bob Backlund apparently getting the Iron Sheik down and sitting on him until he either lost interest or was asked to let him up. Steve Blackman is by all intents and purposes a badass.

Bradshaw- Apparently the inspiration behind this atrocity depending upon who you ask. Bradshaw's reputation is marred now with incidents of bullying (real or fabricated), pro wrasslin' racism (goosestepping in Germany to get heat, some other old school heel shenanigans) and borderline dangerous behavior like blindsiding the Blue Meanie and beating the shit out of him when Meanie thought it was a working brawl. At this point though, none of that is really widespread and Bradshaw is just a fake Stan Hansen who looks tough and stiffs the hell out of people. He's about to eventually turn into a mute member of the Undertaker's industry before he comes a heel mercenary for hire before they turn into FUN beer drinking cigar smoking mercenaries for hire before turning into a Wall Street rich Texan chasing Mexicans "at the border" to get heat for a feud with Eddie Guerrero. I suppose you cant say Bradshaw didn't earn it at least.

Brakkus- Wooof. Brakkus was a massive German bodybuilder who apparently didn't quite understand that the Brawl For All wasn't worked. The WWF had big plans for Brakkus (if they send you to Memphis to work for Lawler in the USWA, it probably means they had a long term vision for him) but he sucked and no matter where they sent him, he continued to suck. He was bad in Memphis, was bad in ECW and ultimately this feels like an attempt to just do something with him. Again though, how good you are as a pro wrestler doesn't matter in the Brawl For All. It was about legit fighting----and Brakkus apparently according to Savio Vega had no idea he was in a real fight. Keep that in mind.

Mark Canterbury- I have NO idea why Henry O. Godwinn is listed on wikipedia by his real name but fuck it, here he is! So full blindspot up front, I LOVED Henry O' Godwinn as a kid. He carried around a slop bucket, poured what looked like puke on people, wrestled in overalls which helped him stand out and it sort of gets lost in the fact that he was given a dumb gimmick (In the mid 90s, it felt like the WWE was acknowledging how big of a slide it was in because every human being had a side hustle) that Godwinn could absolutely work. Here's Godwinn vs Bret Hart in a killer match btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9vihPkNmLM. This was before Vince Russo and company turned them from a fun midcard act into a gross-ish play on Vince McMahon's distaste for southerners. Oh and also! Henry Godwin PROBABLY is doing this with a  still kinda broken neck. He broke it in 1997, was told to take three months or more off (Godwinn gives numbers ranging from ten weeks to sixteen weeks) and he just showed back up in less than two months to work through it. Keep that in mind.

Droz- A tragic story all in all which we'll get to eventually. Droz at this point is basically coming out of a dead angle with the LOD where he was written in storyline to be feeding drugs (and whatever else) to Road Warrior Hawk in an attempt to take his place in the Legion Of Doom. If it sounds awful it's because it was and while MAYBE a good writer can make that work, we're talking about the WWF in 1998 trying to soap opera a drug pusher/drug abuse victim angle. It ultimately ended with Droz shoving Road Warrior Hawk off the titantron while Hawk was attempting to commit suicide. Again, it's as bad as you'd believe. Droz had a college football background but that's about it unless I missed some boxing or kickboxing background.

The Godfather- By all accounts the Godfather is a badass. He was hip to MMA before the UFC really caught on, was a freakishly devoted bodybuilder and he just looks like the sort of guy who would take very little shit from anybody. The Godfather is about to become THE Godfather as he's transitioning from Kama Mustafa and the Nation Of Domination's actually good muscle enforcer (Mark Henry is bad around this time and would continue to be such until about 2009 or so) but at this point I'd imagine the writing is on the wall for most of the NOD guys that the Rock is about to leave them in the dust and this group is going to theoretically die a death. The Godfather is about to take a seriously big turn but FIRST, the Brawl For All!

Bart Gunn- At this point, Bart Gunn is doing nothing. Basically nothing. One could even say less than nothing. Bart Gunn is in The New Midnight Express, an angle that Vince Russo has claimed was apparently a way to shut up Jim Cornette and prove to him that old style wrestling couldn't work in 1998. Bart Gunn was apart of the Smoking Gunns and according to him, he had toughman contest experience. Apparently Bart Gunn got brought into the Brawl For All because Kevin Kelly had seen him wear out big guys in Tampa and per Billy Gunn, Bart was the sort of dude who could wipe out a bar room full of people if need be. That said it's not like Bart had any boxing experience or what have you.

Hawk- Another noted tough dude and one of pro wrestling's weirdest mysteries. Every old school dude be it Kevin Sullivan, Jim Cornette or Paul Heyman raves about Hawk as a talent and claims he could've been a major marquee attraction as a singles wrestler. Kevin Sullivan in particular claims that had he had the opportunity to work with Hawk and freshen him up as a singles wrestler, he could've been an Undertaker-esque attraction who drew money across multiple character iterations. Hawk is coming off his personal demons storyline which I mentioned before that sucked. At this point, he and Animal have broken down and are in serious need of repairs from a physical and character standpoint.

Bob Holly- Bradshaw and Bob Holly in the same tournament and somehow they didn't face off? In 2019, I imagine people would be rooting for a double KO (although Bob's image has softened with fans since leaving the WWE) but at this point Bob Holly is just trying to figure shit out in his career. He's teaming with Bart Gunn in the New Midnight Express after sputtering out (HA HA) as a race car driver. Bob Holly is another dude who by in large is just known as a tough guy with a bit of a bully streak tendency behind that reputation. Owner of the wrestling world famous "YOU GOT TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT, BITCH!" threat to Rene Dupree before he kicked the shit out of him over parking tickets.

Marc Mero- The story of Marc Mero is a rough one with a happy ending. Marc Mero was really over in WCW as Johnny B. Badd, a Little Richard knock off with a Badd Blaster that shot confetti. Johnny B. Badd was so over that Vince paid him big money to be Johnny B. Badd----only for someone to smarten him up that Johnny B. Badd was a WCW trademark so he had paid for a guy who was trained from jump to do ONE role his whole career. Marc Mero was pretty over and underrated as a wrestler (I SWEAR BY THIS) before his knees gave in. Making matters worse for him was that his wife, Rena, was the women's face of the Attitude Era as Sable. According to Jim Cornette, Marc Mero was trying to be a good husband and help get his super over wife even MORE over---so he took a powerbomb from her on TV. Mero's future big money opponent was Stone Cold who happened to be  watching the show at the time from home. Apparently Austin called up Vince McMahon and immediately asked who he would be working with on next week's Raw since he wasn't going to do any business with Mero after eating a powerbomb on TV from his wife. I don't know if this was before or after the Brawl For All though so take that for what it's worth. Either way, Mero is doing a boxing gimmick now (he is apparently a reputable legit golden gloves champion) and so it makes sense he'd be in the Brawl For All.

Pierre- This is a real shootfight tournament. Actual punches are being thrown and takedowns are implemented. This is, again, a legitimate shoot fight----and so of course one of the dudes involved in the shoot fight is missing an eye. Quebeccer Pierre/Pierre Carl Oulette/Jon Pierre Lefitte is missing an eye and was competing in a shoot tournament WITH one eye. We're not talking Michael Bisping fighting with a damaged eye for years on end, we're talking about an actual lack of an eye. This happened, people. We'll talk more about Pierre (and his amazing story in 2019) but right now in 1998, he's JAG who is bouncing between WCW and WWF looking for something to do. He's also at this point known as the guy who refused to put Kevin Nash over in 1995 despite Nash being the face of the company. PCO is the original Bret Hart, refusing to job in Canada.

Scorpio- I gotta admit I have no idea what Scorpio is doing here. I bet he doesn't know either if we're being truthful. Scorpio is one of those guys who was ahead of his time but seemed incapable of staying on the right path (whatever that means in wrestling) to get what he was due. He had come into the WWF in 1997 as Flash Funk and so I imagine Flash Funk was over and he's just killing time until the Job Squad angle.  Scorpio is apparently a legit tough guy (or madman depending on who you ask) and held a 1-0 unofficial record over Hawk after he beat the shit out of him in WCW.

Dan Severn- Dan Severn was told he wouldn't even be allowed to participate and then was told the day OF the taping that he was needed to take a spot. Severn is not too far removed from being a UFC everything (champion, tournament winner etc etc) and so he's for the most part a prospective favorite. That's probably why he wasn't asked to compete at first I'd imagine since the plan was PERHAPS to get somebody else over. Another rumor is that Severn is such a boring plain dude with a boring plain style (Severn admits his plan was to never throw a punch and just grapple people) that if he had won, there would've been no payoff in it.

Savio Vega- I have NO idea if Savio Vegas has a professional sports background or what the deal was. Apparently Savio Vegas asked to be in it and was also the unofficial official matchmaker (he drew the names out of a hat) and he's Puerto Rican so he's got my rooting interest right away. I think Los Boricuas at this point were in full swing and Savio was obviously the head of said stable. Gang Warz was dumb as hell.

Steve Williams- And we reach the FINAL name. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Steve Williams was a former football player at the University of Oklahoma and one of the more decorated wrestlers in Oklahoma history. He had carved out a niche in Japan by this point after establishing himself as a star in Mid South with the occasional stop off in the NWA/Jim Crockett Promotions/various regional feds and start ups. Williams didn't have any official fighting background but he was a crazy good wrestler and by all accounts a ridiculous bad ass. Jim Cornette tells stories of Dr. Death fighting fans and laying bodies to waste with little to no effort. He was also extremely popular with people in the WWF office, namely Jim Ross and Jim Cornette. Bruce Prichard doesn't QUITE say that the WWF thought Dr. Death would win the Brawl For All but he does a damn good enough impression of Jim Ross advocating for Steve Williams that I have to believe it. Vince Russo has spoken in the past about Steve Williams being Jim Ross' "boy" and how this was basically his way of seeing whether Jim Ross was right. Bob Holly has said that they were already doing vignettes with Barry Switzer and interviews as if Dr. Death won the Brawl For All. Dr. Death claims that the Triple H push of 1999 was the one Vince had promised him before the Brawl For All.

All of this brings me to my final point.....

Dr. Death was never going to be a big star in the WWF

I truly hate to speak ill of the dead and I'm trying hard no to either. Let's just speak from a more realistic pragmatic grounded stance. The kind of talent that was getting over in 1999 falls into three distinct categories. The first were talkers, guys and gals who could rap so to speak and had tremendous presence. Promo guys could carry the day and even IF you gave Dr. Death a Jim Ross to do the talking for him, let's not forget that by 1998 at this point in July there's basically just one manager actually doing anything as a talker and that's Paul Bearer. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams was not a talker and even if he was, he's certainly not the kind of talker who would fit in Vince McMahon's WWF. The second were guys who were big with "the look" according to Vince McMahon. Pull up a picture of every top star in 1998 for the WWF and then slide Dr. Death in there and ask if he fits the mold. He's unique for sure and there's the Mick Foley outlier----but imagine how long it took Mick Foley to be seen as legitimate by Vince McMahon. Even if Dr. Death is the definition of a Jim Ross style Hoss, he looks woefully out of date by 1998 standards. He in many ways, like a lot of guys who frequently toured Japan and basically were behind on the times, looked like he had been left in 1988. Lastly there were the gimmick guys; the Undertaker, Kane, The Rock, DX, Austin etc etc. Dr. Death's gimmick was that he was an ass kicker which is great but AGAIN we are to believe every human being in the WWF at this time is an ass kicker. Maybe Vince and company would've found a way to get something out of him but the chances are that Dr. Death would've never been a big star. Could he have feuded with Stone Cold? Surely! A big money draw? A multi million dollar hit? I just don't see it. Can't imagine it. Also let's be fair here, how toned down would his style have been for the WWF at the time as well? Is he going to suplex Steve Austin around after Stone Cold broke his neck? I'm not quite buying that either.

So there's your sixteen. You got a few amateur wrestlers ten years beyond their competitive days, a boxer or two, a toughman contest guy, a few dudes who dabbled in kickboxing and a man with legitimately one eye. You've got the guy who the company thinks SHOULD win it. So who won the fuckin' thing? How did they win it?

That's for next time.

[metalempire]

Kingdom Hearts 3: A Review

This one is gonna be long as shit probably but since I finally finished the game on standard, proud and critical mode, and with DLC on the way I’m going to try and review the basegame for KH3 and see how it stacks up. Most of this under readmore for the sake of ur dashboards.

So I want to clarify a handful of details, KH2, its final mix especially, is my favourite game in the series. The gameplay is almost fucking perfect for an action game and is accessible to so many skill levels and did all of its difficulty modes quite well (though proud has not aged well compared to critical). Not only this but Sora’s moveset and animations, their speed and frames and iframes after actions and also interaction with abilities is almost perfect (I have eternal issues with how guard’s timing works compared to KH1′s guard it’s just slightly more delayed by enough to throw me off) and I have played KH1, CoM, BBS, DDD, Re:Coded and 0.2 so I have enough experience with the games overall.  Also as for story, KH1 was the only game that did it well, CoM is fine, and KH2 is a bit like that but still decent. After that point story has been going downhill thanks to Nomura’s writing dying a fiery death so KH3′s awful story pacing, fairly disappointing execution and dumping of things all at the end don’t bother me as much since it was doomed from the start considering it has to conclude stuff set up by BBS and DDD which were stories that don’t hold up well anyway. Plus at this point I just accept that the story of KH isn’t going to be good anymore. No I don’t play the gacha game, I keep up with the cutscenes time to time to stay in loop and that story is just long winded and cryptic. Gameplay is what I care about since that’s what makes a video game a game, funnily enough. (Though I think KH3 has a bad habit of making cutscenes either too long or stacking too many on top of each other) Also I want to state I am completely neutral on attraction flow. I neither like nor dislike them all that much. They serve a purpose and they can be ignored too. They’re more or less a matter of personal preference and I don’t feel strongly about them. Aside from the choo choo train no one can slander the train. 

Positives 

I think KH3 competes with KH1 for second most fun gameplay in the series. They took alot of things and rebalanced them and brought them all together in a way that I liked, shotlocks, flowmotion, counters, forms, magic, summons, grand magic and even a little bit of reaction commands and limits. Aside from the combos which are a given of course, as well as being able to cancel into magic and other actions being fairly competently done, though guard has some oddities to it where it doesn’t always work and it might be down to the game’s buffering system. More on that later. The keyblade transformations stand out as a real strength to the game, with a wide variety of movesets for each playstyle (my favourite is the Happy Gear and its’ transformations) and they make both horde and boss fights dynamic and fun, not to mention their interactions with guarding, dodging and magic and how they change it up as well as little bonus abilities forms give you. I do like that they brought back all sorts of enemies, Heartless, Nobodies and Unversed, with only Nightmares not returning. The variety is appreciated. On a mechanical note, I am very fond of being able to store a keyblade transformation by switching to another Keyblade, and I like being able to equip and shift between three of them. This is the first game where keyblades feel incredibly distinct from one another, and also the only game where Kingdom Key is viable from start to finish. This was something Re:Coded played with and I’m really glad to see the direction they took it in KH3. The addition of up to five party members is also appreciated, having everyone fighting at once in the larger battles KH3 has overall brings a nice sense of scale to it. Wallrunning and massive areas allow for some big levels to traverse and honestly thats’s mostly a strength since it adds greatly to immersion. There are boss fights in KH3, namely those in the Keyblade Graveyard that function perfectly for the game’s overall combat pacing, and they also amplify the strengths of the game on Critical mode.I like the little detail of magic now doing little status effects too now.The gummi ship is a nice blend of KH1 and KH2, and the open world flying around is a fun aspect that makes it feel like a real journey through the stars.The world’s are a usually of great quality, with Olympus being the best tutorial level/first level in the whole series, and the Caribbean providing a really enjoyable open ocean exploration style, Monstropolis getting the linear level style right properly, Kingdom of Corona building itself character wise very well to endear you to Rapunzel’s journey with its’ interactivity and Toy Box throwing a few decent challenges and very well put together mech combat. Also, graphically KH3 is one of the most impressive games I’ve ever seen, flexing on all the films, the older games, and real life itself, making the presentation fit the artstyle and rendering to a degree that’s frighteningly good. Game looks wonderful. The music is also good but that’s true of every game, Yoko just be like that, though 3 has some great compositions and remixes of its’ own to stand on. 

Negatives

One thing to preface this with is that a strength to KH2 is your options, how balanced they all are, what they all do, how they can interact with each other (such as how magic can be integrated into combos and do their own or using different buttons to change a combo altogether, or how certain moves fulfil different functions in a fight) is all very well structured and seamless. In KH3 your basic combo game doesn’t have as many modifiers to how it works outside of formchanges and even then it doesn’t quite feel as complete. Not only that but your options end up doing the same thing alot of the time, heavy damage that leads into strong AOE. The core design of the game is built around huge hordes of enemies, and that tends to mean its too easy to get hit out of nowhere or annoyed to death or sniped out of nowhere on critical, so you need to use magic and then grand magic to clear or links and attraction flow if you’re on critical to thin out hordes. While in boss fights this changes the game feels a bit too focused on large fights and has movesets less focused around smaller groups and suffers for it. Tying into this, animations are grander and longer, leaving you open to interruption. The camera in this game is also awful, and one of the worst, either not zooming in enough or too far out, or on more mobile enemies (or teleporting ones, looking at you Goatnort) it fails to keep best track of them and angle properly and you can get blindsided too easily or put in a vision style that makes depth perception for projectile blocking too iffy for my tastes.KH cameras are always a bit off but this one needs work. Base Sora’s animations tend to be very hard to work with compared to KH2′s, he’s alot slower, has more delays, less invincibility frames, attacks don’t follow together and follow up nearly as quickly, item usage is overall a slower process which can fuck you over on critical, guarding still has a delay to it, leaf bracer can be rendered useless due to cure having no iframes during the ending portion of the animation and on critical you can just wind up needing to heal again if you get hit trying to use leaf bracer to slip through an attack. There’s also a very odd way the game handles Sora’s hitstun, where he can’t do anything out of it unless he uses aerial recovery which has a rather narrow iframe window and a bit of lag on actions that can be performed out of it that means you cant do anything in some lategame boss fights once hit half the time since no button input does anything especially if you’re hit in the air. The game is far too unclear on when you can and can’t act out of a hit or a block. Also, while I like being able to retaliate once its’ unlocked after aerial recovery, the animation for the attack has a set direction and often ends up missing more mobile bosses and lacks control. The game’s overall balancing is a bit of a mess as well, with grand magic and magic being far too strong on all modes except critical, and links being too strong on critical since there is far too much of a reliance on AOE overall in the combat. As for difficulty, it has a strange Fire Emblem Awakening parallel, where standard is too easy, proud is the true normal mode but not a hard mode, and critical is a bit too hard at times though not all the time. I’d say critical eases up for a bit though it favours cheap shots and delivers its true delights right at the end, it’s weird and I’ll talk more about it later but it starts out unfairly hard with the tutorial boss two shotting you in seconds. There’s a real lack of postgame content overall, with the battlegates being alright but not grand, and only one superboss in Dark Inferno who is alright all things considered but isn’t a Sephiroth really. Speaking of which, no Final Fantasy characters in the series that’s supposed to be it crossing over with Disney. What the fuck. Also I will say that while the worlds are huge and long now, there’s still not that many of them, and while quality over quantity is a factor, quantity is nice too, and making Twilight Town that small and short feels like a kick in the dick to KH2 fans who love that place, me included. Ultima weapon is a pain to get, all the minigames in KH3 are either bad, terrible, awful, or dull and not worth playing, and you need to do some of the worst ones to get it though thankfully it’s not really all that necessary to have unless you want a trump card for critical mode which you’re better off using new game + to get from an easier save file anyway. The cooking minigames are also very odd with their timing and the controls are a bit unresponsive or too sensitive at times and discourages you from cooking. Look at what they did to 100 Acre Woods, it makes me sob salty tears at how small and gutted it is. In general enemies have difficulties telegraphing their attacks in both audio and visual style and you get cheap shotted alot. There is a particular Unversed enemy in Monstropolis I’m sure we’re all familiar with by now who is guilty of that sin the most. And finally, the game’s biggest sin of all: Armoured Xehanort (who I call Goatnort). This fight is a travesty. Teleporting, unclear telegraphs, unclear hitstun, random super armour, long combos that cannot be interrupted, wonky interactions with dodges, guards and reprisals that makes him get free hits on you sometimes even when successfully executing a block or dodge. He has a lack of clear telegraphs, acts at speeds that give KH2FM superbosses a run for their money despite you being slower than that game was, leading to things Sora’s animations aren’t equipped to deal with, as well as shifting the fight constantly to underwater combat and then forced aerial combat with very confusing controls interactions and pair that with AOE magic attacks with magnet powers, lock on wind magic with warping properties to ensure he lands his hit, alot of teleporting out of the camera’s range and warp strike sucker punches that really stretch the human reaction time when paired with the shit camera and you just get an unpleasant boss fight that while proud and standard can mitigate to just being annoying as all hell, on critical its a nightmare fight and you cant even observe the fight and learn it well either due to how much shit is going on, the camera being against you, unclear mechanical aspects, speed above what you can reliably output as base Sora who you are stuck as for most of the fight. It boils down to a spammy clusterfuck with too much going on, with so few openings to do anything, and bad interaction with Sora’s options and the animations tied to them with alot of damage that feels forced on you half the time. The Final Xehanort phase with the X-Blade is much better though.

Critical Mode

Since it didn’t launch with the game was added later as a free update and everyone made a big deal out of it and it’s exclusion seeming odd I might as well talk about it. Firstly, KH2FM has the best critical mode and is the only game to do it right really. It halves your hp and reduces the amount of mp you gain during level ups and increases to it, so you have enough to work with but never too much, enemies do the same damage as proud mode, but you do more damage than even standard mode, and you start with 50AP and a lot lategame abilities so strengthen Sora’s kit. This results in the best hard mode for the game, since fights never drag on too much and deaths are usually quick. It encourages and rewards you to use all your options and play both smart and aggressive to win. KH3 takes a somewhat similar approach. You start out with 50 AP and wide variety of boosting abilities mostly from endgame territory as well as unique critical mode ones that modify reprisals to reward proper dodge timing which is wonderful and even one to disable Attraction flow for those who hate it to build up transformations quicker. However Critical mode nerfs alot of things. Magic can’t be used as much and successive casts one after another especially rapid shots get a huge damage nerf so you have to use it sparingly making grand magic harder to get and magic de-incentivised outside of enemy weaknesses. There’s also wonky issues with damage scaling in relation to battle level and your level and all situation commands take much longer to build up to, even with the aforementioned boost to formchange buildup speed it still takes awhile and since base Sora is very hit or miss in fights this can be a very awkward change to work with. Enemy damage is also scaled very high and this could be one of the hardest critical modes earlygame, though DDD still holds the crown for hardest if we’re being honest. KH3 critical starts you out by Darkside two shotting you and most of the earlygame even regular Heartless kill you in two or three hits. Unless you use cooking to buff yourself you will die in two or three hits most of the time and some bosses can one shot you. The Gigas enemies in Toy Box are hard to deal with since magic is so nerfed and the Supreme Smasher boss can and will outright one shot you with all of its’ attacks if you don’t use a Gigas yourself. Even KH2FM critical wasn’t this unforgiving at times. The Kh3 critical mode experience boils down to a few things; most heartless bosses being easy as usual for KH3, getting randomly sniped in horde fights, boss fights that take awhile and usually 2 shot you, the mode and its’ particular challenge coming together masterfully for the Keyblade Graveyard fights to create a proper tense challenge that’s still fun, the Armours Xehanort fight being so frustrating it makes you want to launch your PS4 at Nomura, and Final Xehanort being a good but brutal fight that exposes a bit of flaws of KH3 but also plays to its’ strengths as well, unlike Goatnort who exposes all the flaws and needs to calm down. Overall I didn’t enjoy it as much as KH2FM critical mode but it was better than DDD and BBSFM critical mode. Definitely felt like it was trying too hard to be hard at times, did get me to actually use cooking though. Rage Form is king. 

Summary

Overall, Kingdom Hearts 3 is a well put together package blending together alot of the features from across the series into a very coherent combat system that oozes variety at its’ core, but is let down a bit by functional application reducing that variety to the same overall function. It’s a game with a bit of balancing issues, and ideally needs some overall core enemy fight redesigning, maybe a few more worlds and boss fights, and alot of tweaking to base Sora’s playstyle, requiring snappier animations, quicker flow between them, changes to hitstun interaction and options and iframe changes to be more fair on the player in critical mode. There’s alot to the combat overall that needs a little tweaking, and while it isn’t KH2 levels of good, it has alot of potential and is very fun to play, bringing together alot of what makes these games fun in general and pulling it off decently well. There’s alot to enjoy here, and the craft is up scratch, even if it is a bit wonky and rough around the edges on the more finer and precise aspects, it’s still up there with some of the best Kingdom Hearts games. I’m looking forward to the DLC and any future updates, and I’m hoping some more balance tweaking and a few changes might be all this game needs to be its’ best. It’s a good game through and through, and while some may find it disappointing, I’ve accepted that the series more or less peaked with KH2FM and I’m glad to see Osaka team have finally found a groove that fits them that they’ve clearly put some work into making as high a quality as they were able, considering the no doubt rocky development the game went through with all the business of engine shifts and other things going on in the company at the time. I know giving a numerical rating can devalue the qualitative aspects of a review but the quantitative is also nice to have so overall, I’d say that Kingdom Hearts 3 is a solid 8/10. KH3 competes with KH1 as second favourite in the series and even with all its’ flaws it’s a game I really do enjoy playing and putting time into.Story is still a fuckin train wreck tho lol. Good job the stupidity of it makes me laugh more than anything. Xemnas is still a better waifu than Ansem tho. MickeyRiku best ship.

[juunshua]

thoughts on junhui and yanan's performance? i do kind of agree with hao when he said that there could be a tendency where yanan could be overpowered by jun and his role. and it did show in the performance... but god the concept of the stage in general? is so galaxy brain to me jkshafkjds its interesting that we see a lot of what goes on in junhui's brain junhui is so much more than a pretty face,,, tho i really do feel that yanan was overshadowed dsajhkjfd but the high note he belted out? legend

ahh did hao say that? i do agree that yanan was overshadowed, it was kind of already obvious from the previews though from their body language: junnie was obviously taking on a more leadership role. i must admit, as a jun stan, that definitely excited me. i dont recall a single moment where junnie has taken the lead in a musical endeavor, he was always passive for whatever reason. this might sound kinda...rough...but i think something about svt holds him back. back to the performance, though...same! i thought the stage was absolutely beautiful. to me this is what id call a ‘performance’. the way he combined acting with the music and singing was great. nothing was overbearing or felt unnecessary or out of place, which is something that i definitely felt with my i (it was ironic to me how a song that is about continuity felt so..discontinuous and truncated through that rearrangement). the composition itself was so bare at points! like not much is happening really its the same four chords more or less and the vocal melody itself is repetitive and predictive. thats how much the performance lied in the hands of the performance to make it interesting and i think junnie definitely pulled through. im not sure what the mission exactly was but two teams had to take one piece of music and incorporate it into another song? something along those lines im not sure about the exact nuances behind it but junnie and yanan did not really ‘weave it into the music’ perse? like i think the idea was to use that simple melody as a motif when u combined it with another song but junnie and yanan only had it playing from the record player. to me, i dont think that was a bad choice, maybe not what the show was expecting, but it wasnt a bad choice at all. it was interesting to see how they would tackle the ‘problem’ of that song and its interesting because the way that the melody was actually put into the song was as a plot point, almost something ud expect from musical theater. junnie is an actor through and through like the way his mind works is to see things as a story which i think is wonderful. if the mission was to incorporate two songs together  and combine it into one, they definitely didnt fulfill that goal, but if it was just to use two songs for one performance then i dont see anything wrong with what they did. one song was used as the main melodic push and the other song was used as a plot point to enhance the performance aspect of it.tl;dr this stage was GORGEOUS and i loved seeing what sort of things are going on inside junnies brain. as u said, hes not just a pretty face, and hes not just a silly person who plays jokes all the time. he is both but hes a lot more than that too and as a jun stan its been a struggle to get anything from him past those two things that he always pushes in svt. i was very very very thankful for this stage. it might be a rare once in a lifetime thing but i hope to god it isnt i need to hear his artistic voice in svt more please its absolutely wonderful.  and although yanans artistic voice could have been overshadowed, i do think theres something to be said about the person who can properly execute the vision of another artist like that is not easy either. must be something magical about the boy ahaha two of my fav stages have involved him (my fav from last weeks was his duet with jc). i cant wait for him to also unlease his magic and show the world what he can do! laksjdf under the cut is my interpretation of the stage and performance because i wanted to note it down somewhere ahaha

i think i read some translation somewhere that junnie meant for the performance to be like yanan as a spectator and jun as someone, i dont know how else to express this , but as someone who is 'losing their mind' per se? but to me it kinda seemed like two halves of a whole. perhaps yanan did start off as a spectator, and thats why the performance starts off with them either separated with a barrier or by space, distance, and direction. its right after junnie touches yanan that the record player starts playing again after yanan had stopped it at the beginning of the performance, and thats when he breaks it too. when yanan unmasks junnie its almost as if hes uncovered the other part of himself? like this mysterious masked figure just turns out to be himself in the end? its also after that part where they start singing to each other and gradually closing the space between them and even musically like did u notice their parts switched? the lines that junnie was singing in the first part of the song, yanan now sings and vice versa. they start becoming more and more unified as the song progresses, performance wise and musically as well. even the calm yanan gets a bit ‘riled up’ by the end of the song, you can see junnies persona seep into his own. but thats how i saw it. the wonderful thing about music is how open to interpretation it is. i think its these kinds of performances that are so open to interpretation that are even more musical imo laksdj idk how to explain,

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Been thinking about Jesse Moynihan’s work. How I’d have criticised it as a fellow creator, rather than as a fan.

In my opinion, the best episode he ever worked on was The Vault, while the biggest miss was Something Big.

Yes, I have much more issues with Breezy, but that wasnt so much to do with its completeness as an episode as it was to do with whether the content belonged in the AT world. If Breezy was in Jesse’s own show, it’d be beautiful, but as an Adventure Time episode it’s plain uncomfortable. Something Big, meanwhile, is… Disappointing in general, and the easiest highlight of Jesse’s weaknesses.

So let’s first talk about why The Vault is Jesse and Ako’s best episode, and perhaps my personal favourite in the series. This ep has decent visual imagery from the start with the Magic Hexagon joke. It has a solid beginning with Finn breaking his house at the ghost vision, leaving us curious. It slowly feeds this curiosity by showing us his past lives. Then we get onto the middle section where we see what happens with Shoko, which has its own tense conclusion, hitting the climax of the ep. Then we have the end, where we are back to Finn retrieving what was lost and returning it.

The entire storyline was filled with a sense of mystery, suspense, and tragedy. Shoko’s story could have worked as a standalone by itself, making her a sympathetic, interesting character to follow, but AT took this several steps beyond… It was *jampacked* with interesting lore that the series had been building up to for years, and it executed this *perfectly*. How could we have expected The Vault to give us an important glimpse of the Candy Kingdom’s creation? To show us the younger Princess, interacting with past iterations of Finn and Jake? To give foreshadowing and hints of what was to come, from Finn’s life as a comet to PB’s amulet? The whole arm shit? It connected so many things together, leaving an overwhelming sense of payoff.

The ep, importantly, was hilarious too. Jesse and Ako’s humor is so *on point* when they work together. Finn vibrating at the beginning and breaking the floorboards at the end, PB bragging about being a technical wonderchild and wanting to do two-arm stuff, Shoko beating up that one bath boy… It made the tragic end to Shoko’s tale hit that much harder, followed by the bittersweet melancholy of Finn making amends in his new life.

Now, let’s talk about Something Big.

Unlike The Vault, where we only knew about the green ghost lady (admittably an exciting premise) and got a huge surprise, Something Big was approached with enormous expectation only to be disappointing to just about everyone. What we knew was that Maja was planning to finally attack the Candy Kingdom, using the magic from PB’s tshirt she traded for in Sky Witch. It was implied that Maja was conducting a huge plan using the enormous magical potential Peebles had given her. When Something Big finally came, the preview promised an awesome battle between Maja and the Candy Kingdom, showing off the episode’s more actionpacked moments and a bit of humor. Excitement hit the roof!!! How was the princess going to deal with this threat that she helped create, even?

Well when the episode came out, it suffered from serious structural, pacing, and tension issues. The start was promising with showing multiple casualties, and pb saying she didnt want to use her ground troops, but it’s hindered by the distracting and pathetic death of Root Beer Guy. This random execution of a character we thought to be important reeked of Homestuck level immersion-breaking insensibilities, and Jack Pendarvis’s weak justification for the decision did not help at all. I’m not sure if Jesse or Jack was responsible for how poorly it was executed though.

Then we cut to a flashback of Maja summoning Darren, and this is where the episode’s structural weaknesses start to show themselves off. The way Darren is summoned is deeply intimidating and Maja’s explanation about the shirt is interesting, but too much time and focus is drawn on Darren himself considering his role later in the episode.

Then we cut back to the candy kingdom, where Colonel Candy Corn employs his defensive strategy and does something cool. Yay, i guess? It’s funny and I enjoy seeing candy people do their thing but once again, the episode loses focus, and doesnt put enough on these guys for it to have any real stakes. Then FINALLY we cut back to Peebles, who realises the boys are gone and decides to defend the kingdom herself. The only truly tense scene in the episode occurs when PB gets knocked off her swan and nearly *erased* by Darren, but this is interrupted before it can be processed by Finn appearing straight out if nowhere with the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. Now, this is where the ep *really* gets off the rails.

Darren and Eli talk about the old days, which in a better episode could have been an amusing addition. Finn defeats Darren by going up his nose and punching him. Thats it. No drama, no investment, he just does that and it’s over like no big deal. Everybody EXCEPT RBG is healed by miracle juice and doesnt care anymore. Peebles doesnt give a shit either and everyone celebrates, then we go to the Elephant having some sort of breakdown over being nothing but a weapon. Finn peptalks it and he goes to help Mahja recover from a coma, saying you cant light a candle without a match. The ep ends with two cards that go “In memory of Root Beer Guy” and “Crunchy is OK”.

Jesse said that this ep was originally going to be the start of the movie. This makes sense considering how poorly structured it is, and how much content it tries to cram into a short 11 minutes.

The ep’s humor is… Decent at best, not the most lolworthy but ice seen worse. However the biggest criticism I have is, what - and who - was it *about*? It wasnt about Maja cos she just hovered in the background and had no meaningful dialogue. It wasnt about PB, even though it looked like it should have been, because despite the character study Maja gave for her, she had no development, serious dialogue, or real action in this ep. It wasnt about Darren cos he unceremoniously died. It wasnt about the Elephant cos it only appeared for the last few minutes of the ep. It wasnt about the Candy Kingdom cos Finn, Jake, and Eli withdrew any focus from them at the end.

The only theme I can identify that applies to most of these things is that it’s about old people not being able to move on. Peebles harbored the shirt and built the kingdom, empowering them with the sentimentality of her past hopes and regrets. Maja was hellbent on destroying the Candy Kingdom to use one of her dumb spells. Colonel Candy Corn was moping about his exes and not talking to girls his age. Eli and Darren explicitly felt stuck in the past and unable to veer from their original purpose, but after uhh talking to tje goddamn Sun, Eli decides to take a new path. He becomes the candle and the match, caring for the person he comatised until she heals.

This theme is so halfbaked and scattered that theres no way any person would care for it. The characters they use to express it are unimportant and get no focus throughout the episode. Was it really right to hamper the expectations fans had, also crushing many other things like poor root beer guy, just to try expressing this poor idea? Eli could have had their own episode pitched at the very least… Consequentially, Something Big fails to be anything more than a series of poorly connected events with no emotional core and not nearly enough humor to pull it off like Apple Wedding did. It wastes the potential that focusing on Maja vs the Candy Kingdom could have had. We could have seen Maja and Peebles antagonizing each other, elaboration on why the latter carries so much sentimentality into everthing she owns to the extent that it nukes Hambo in comparison… We could have seen more candy people being candy people, the gumball guardians having a non halfassed reason for fainting, Root Beer Guy having a meaningful sacrifice, Darren having a satisfying defeat… The ep wastes avenues for lore, tension, emotion, and character development, wasting it on a poirly built premise that it fails to deliver effectively. Its attempts to poke fun at itself with the cards at the end only serve to further jar the mood and insult the audience, rather than be funny.

This is why Something Big is the worst episode Jesse has ever storyboarded. Future work like Astral Plane, and the previous episode Breezy, despite also having poorly built philosophy and that general author mouthpiece vibe they had cohesive beginnings, middles, and ends, focusing on specific characters and showing at least limited growth. Astral Plane was funny and followed the adventures of numerous people, and Breezy nearly made me cry, so they definitely had some emotions in their core.

The Vault, meanwhile, highlights the best of Jesse’s potential. The philosophy presented in this ep is directly meaningful to a relationship between two major characters, and the payoff delivers perfectly for *seasons* worth of work. It is a x3 combob origin episode and one of the best Adventure Time has ever had to offer, humorously, analytically, and emotionally.

[therewas-a-girl]

i was sitting here, thinking: 

so first, we have the break up last year framed as if oliver was ‘’’’caught’’’’ between two ‘’’’impossible’’’’ choices, even though the narrative was so flawed and hole-ridden that its logic did nto hold up to the faintest breeze. and that he was basically set up to lose everything either way and felicity punished him for this impossible choice by leaving him, and the narrative punished him further by making him lose fucking everything, and making us feel bad for him. while framing felicity’s choice in zero context from her pov. 

all the while, it feels like her choices have to be defended, because the show doesn’t bother to do so with even a fraction of the the same amount of time it uses on oliver. this in the end, amounts to felicity being portrayed as unfair on oliver.

i never thought so - but the show did, and that is what id fed me, and reinforced with her apology in 5.20

but  there is something else that bugs me. 

so felicity had sex with oliver, then told him she couldn’t be with him, that it didn’t change anything, because the real problem between them hadn’t changed. that she felt he didn’t trust her. 

then after this, she tells him she’s sorry she walked without giving them the chance to hash it out - that she wasn’t ready for that right now. (which i understand btw. i understand that her understanding this is actually character development for her, and that she is emotionally aware enough to get this about herself.)  BUT... wouldn’t talking about it give Oliver the chance to show her that maybe he does trust her. that something has changed? 

i just don’t see the logic. she wants to have his full trust but she cant even talk about what happened with them yet. which translates in, she wants something but she isn’t ready for it? 

i would get that, but i think that’s me trying to rationalize a stupid choice of the writers, that dont rly care about the character making sense, but that bend felicity’s choices to their plot.

then, she seemingly is never ready and tries to move on with billy. (im so rageful over this oh my god because it doesnt make narrative sense at all - billy i mean. and just for the record, i liked the guy - which is why im so angry that he was just there because prometheus needed to frame olvier into killing him. aka another felicity line of narrative that is about oliver. its becoming increasingly clear - the way the story itself is set up proves this) without ever hashing things out with oliver or even telling him that ‘look here my dude, i know we left things up in the air in the summer, but im really never gonna be ready for that talk and i really think we should close this deal, cause i cant do it.’ 

but she did not do that. because that makes perfect sense. felicity ‘i am so confrontational that i cant wait five minutes for the party to be over to ask you about why you haven't proposed, and i cant give you space even though i know you yourself just found out about your kid’ smoak. that felicity smoak... doesn’t face oliver about this new resolution she made. doesn’t tell him. cause she is now, apparently, just as much non-confrontational as oliver is about all emotionally difficult decisions. 

where is the consistency, i just can’t find it. ‘am i missing the point or is it not there’: a saga on me and arrow’s writing. 

dont even get me started on the fact that this whole s5 arc was built around felicity losing billy and her reaction to THAT, instead of... idk, acknowledging the trauma and the hurt that she has been through, acknowledging its effect on her, on her understanding of the world, on the way she now makes her choices; acknowledging that she might have the PTSD that these fuckers advertised shamelessly and that was never shown. 

no... it’s just because of billy and the fact that he died. 

which is horrible that he did, but its also really fucking reductive of felicity’s feelings over it all - over everything. her shooting, her being shoved in a gas chamber, her losing a dear friend, her losing her father again, her feeling responsible for thousands of deaths. 

and then i see people being angry that this was about billy because - why billy right? he was insignificant! why couldn’t her emotional collapse onto herself, her isolation and change have been about OLIVER instead!!!!

like... do people even see felicity at all? 

i have no words. none. 

at the beginning of s5b, i was linked to an article promising felicity’s arc and its importance and how great it would be for her character. how important it would be for arrow this season - and i said to the friends who linked me that i was cautious, because i know how arrow works. arrow seemed to prove me wrong till 5.20, and i felt so fucking good to be wrong. it felt wonderful.

and then 5.20 happened 

im just sitting here wondering, does that ^ -- the dismissal of felicity’s arc as sth caused by ‘i lost my brand new bf pain’ and her change built on this flimsy excuse just so that she could tell oliver ‘yeah sorry, i judged you, you made the right call in doing what you did, i totally understand that now’, basically PROVING that that is how arrow sees their relationship... - proving that the whole framing of the break up in s4 as felicity being a non-compromising, blind judgmental douche and oliver being the one who was being punished for something he had no choice on; this whole thing was in fact, not accidental or a poor execution, but deliberate. ... -- does that really upset nobody, just because we have softcore porn images of olicity kissing? 

i saw no even ground between oliver and felicity in 5.20. i saw  felicity’s potential emotional depth being skewed and felicity admitting to all the blame in their break up. 

meaning that all that fantasizing i did about these two people being people that made mistakes - its not a lie, exactly. but it’s not the narrative the show supports. it’s simply not. 

‘arrow’s’ narrative is - -  felicity was wrong. she wasn’t emotionally mature enough, she hadn’t gone through enough ‘emotional pain/suffering’ to really be on oliver’s level, to really understand his choices, his reasons. she wasn't his equal. and she needed to be hurt and lost and alone so that she could understand him. felicity smoak, as she is, as she was conceived to be, is not enough, you see, for the emotionally complicated hero.

and this whole thing.. i wish i was smart enough to put into words why this kind of vision repulses me so. it reminds me of this article i read once about how fundamentally differently women and men gain their hero status in stories. how women are not allowed to just find the magic sword and go on an adventure. there has to be pain involved. and not the kind of pain that means you’re going places - but debasement, humiliation. negation of the identity the woman has, in order to grasp at something ‘higher’, something ‘more’ that she was not. some expansion of her mind that she was not capable of before. 

i find it so alienating, i cant even put it into words. 

it makes me feel the same way reading joss wheadon’s idea of the wonder woman movie made me feel: dirty.