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yuyuyunnie · 1 day ago

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Call For Me | J.WY

𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: mad hatter! wooyoung x reader (fem)

𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: You find yourself going back to this same dream, struggling to get to the end. To your surprise, at the end of the hill, a man was waiting for you. His grin wide and his eyes lust-filled, Wooyung planned on making you come back to Wonderland.

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: unprotected sex (pls wrap up!), oral (f receiving), fingering, some name-calling, slight choking

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 4.5k

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮: Alice in Wonderland is my favorite Disney movie. There was this video from a concert of Wooyoung and it completely sent me into a spiral and created this desire to write him as the Mad Hatter. I hope you guys enjoy it!

⁂𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽⁂

Your chest rose up and down at an ungodly speed. Your fingers, legs, and toes twitched at every twig you swerved around. Your main focus was following the tail of a rather plump purple cat that turned around, its smile grinning from ear to ear. You reached and reached and reached until the floor fell from under you.

Fuck.

Sweat glistened against your body as your eyes scanned your room. You had another dream; another dream where you tried reaching the end of the hill where the cat was sending you too. Every time you reached the end, a sultry laughter rang through and you woke back up, covered in sweat from head to toe.

You huffed, slinging your covers off your body before heading into the living room. Your roommates, Mingi and San, were sprawled out on the couch. San’s eyes landed on you and took on your disheveled form.

“Another bad dream?” He hummed, tossing his popsicle stick onto the coffee table.

You rolled your eyes, plopping down beside him, his arm slinging over your shoulder as you tried remembering exactly what the fat cat was saying to you. The dream was dark. All the trees were dead, and truthfully, the only true colors were the lights at the end of the hill. It shone bright like a lighthouse during a stormy night. You craved to reach the other side to see where that evil laughter was coming from. It sent shivers down your spine just remembering it, hearing the chuckle stemming from deep in the throat.

“I can’t keep having these dreams,” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes.

“What’s it about?” Mingi mused, leaning over so he could see you.

You shrugged, “Every night it’s the same: I walk past this garden with talking flowers, follow a white rabbit, end up losing him, and find this purple cat with a ringed tail and wide grin. Then, in the end, whenever I wake up, a deep, evil laughter rings through and I fall through,”

Mingi glanced at San, his eye widening before flopping back against the couch. You know they thought you were crazy. There couldn’t truly be any solution for what you’re feeling…could there? If it wasn’t significant, why do you keep having the same dre—

“Ow!”

You looked down, San had pinched you so hard that little crescents formed on your skin. You glared up at him, “What was that for?”

“Anytime you feel like you’re losing your mind, just call for me and I’ll pinch you to make sure you’re here with us,”

You eyed him, “I suppose that could work, but what about when I’m sleeping?”

“Well,” Mingi chuckled, “We’ll know because you’re the loudest talker in your sleep.”

You blushed, your hand shooting to your mouth before you stood up. You sent a quick glare to Mingi before heading back to your room. You were determined to reach the end of the hill, to see what was happening. Your fingers twitched as you ran them through your hair, your mind going back to when you fell down the dark hole.

“Remember, she needs to find the Hatter,” You glanced over at the talking rose, who genuinely looked like your grandmother.

“Indeed she does, but where does he stay? We haven’t seen Hatter in ages ever since the war with the Jabberwocky.”

“Jabberwocky?” You mumbled, brows furrowing together as the group completely ignored you.

“Yes, yes, the Jabberwocky dumb girl,” This time a blue flower acknowledged you before shooing you away with her leaf…hand?

“Follow me, dear,” The white rabbit whispered, tugging your fingers with his soft coated paws, “I believe I remember the way to the Hatter.”

Nodding, you follow him into the woods, the garden of flowers gossiping as you faded away into the darkness. Your eyes raked over the scene: trees curling over, clouds filling the sky, and the only light shinning is the moon. Twigs snapped under your feet as you followed swiftly behind the rabbit.

“The Hatter is a nice man, somewhat odd, but I’m sure he can help us out,” The rabbit more so said to himself.

“Who is this…. Hatter?” You questioned.

“Well, as you can tell from his name, he was once a Hatter, but after the war, his mind…lingered—“

“Lingered? I dare say he’s gone mad,”

You jumped, cocking your head to the side at the sight of a purple cat floating in mid air. His eyes were glowing and his smile went ear to ear. He curled his head to the side, his eyes never leaving you.

“And what’re you doing here, Cheshire?” The rabbit barked, his hands fidgeting around a small pocket watch.

“If you’re going to find the Hatter, best be on your way,” He jerked his head to the right.

You followed, your eyes coming to rest a glow emanating over the hill. You flicked your eyes back at the cat who was already smirking at you. Your skin itched with nerves, your stomach coiling at the idea of what’s over the hill.

“I can take her from here, sweet Rabbit. I know you have other places to be, seeing as you keep checking your watch,” The cat chuckled, flipping mid air and gliding towards the hill.

You glanced down at the rabbit, his little nose was twitching before he winced, taking off into the shrubbery.

Your brows furrowed, “And where do you plan on taking me? Seems like everyone is completely ignoring me!” You stomped your foot, your arms crossing across your chest.

The cat flipped backwards, his head hanging upside down as he glanced at you, his smile still glowing in the night. He slowly floated back towards you, his tail twitching back and forth. Your breath hitched in your throat as he was just a touch away.

“Not just anyone comes to these dreams. The Hatter demands to see you, he calls for you. Now, follow me.”

You smuggled your face into your pillow, screaming into the fluffy fabric. Who was the Hatter and why was he trying to get in contact with you through your dreams? You tossed your pillow to the side, your phone buzzing against the table.

From: Sannie

‘All good in there?’

You groaned, sending back a quick yes before slamming your phone back on the bedside table.

“Calls for me… Calls for me,”

You mumbled the phrase over and over again. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you pondered how the Hatter could call for you. Why were you so enticed to see this mystery figure? Just the name of the Hatter should send warning signs, but here you were, obsessing over the idea of finding this man.

You tugged your light blue night gown down, the fabric riding up on your thighs as you scooted further into bed.

“Hm, well, maybe I’ll call for him this time,” You whispered, “Hatter, Hatter, Hatter, Hatter,”

Your eyes popped open, and your feet smacked against the cobbled ground of the garden. You looked up into the sky, the clouds a purple hue and rain slightly tapping against your forehead. You fell back into this world. Hmm, maybe that did work. Shrugging your shoulders slightly, you followed the same path down to the talking flowers.

“Hatter, Hatter,” You kept mumbling his name over and over again, hoping to stay in tune with your dream.

“Oh, it’s you again,”

You abruptly stopped, the white rabbit dashing out of the ferns before coming to a halt in front of your feet. You cocked your head to the side, eyeing the red eyed creature before clearing you throat.

“The cat told me that I keep coming back here fore a reason and that the Hatter keeps calling for me.” You raised an eyebrow, “I think you know where he’s at,”

The rabbit gulped, pulling at the collar of his jacket before pulling out his watch. The slight tick tick tick was the loudest thing in the garden.

“I can’t guarantee that I can take you to him, but I can take you back to the Cheshire cat….he should know the way.”

You grumbled, your stomach turning into knots. It never fails that you fall back into your reality every time you get to the hill by following the cat. Your feet kicked small pebbles as the rabbit took you past the gossiping flowers, and deep into the dark forest. You don’t remember the dream being as vivid as it is now. You can feel the air, feel the rain settling in. The breeze crept across your body, sending goosebumps over your exposed legs and arms. Your thighs felt warm in the breeze and your hair shifted behind you. This dream felt real, felt as if you were truly in this wonderland.

As if on cue, the smiling cat appeared out of thin air, his grin exposing his hiding spot. You eyed him as he had the same conversation with the rabbit. Before long, the rabbit ditched you once again, leaving you with the floating animal as he bobbed up and down his little path. Your palms were sweaty with anticipation.

But not for long.

The clinking of tea cups and spoons colliding together filled your ears. Your heart fluttered at the sound and sped up, the glow of the hill becoming more prominent. The Cheshire cat came to a stop, a low chuckle coming from him. Coming to his side, your eyes fixated on the scene before you: a worn-out windmill, multiple tables put together, and a dirty, white tablecloth draped over them; tea cups, kettles, food, plates—everything that could ever be at a tea party littered the table. Not only that, another rabbit sat at the table along with a mouse.

Best of all, a young male sat at the end of the table, a tall hat adorned his head as he gnawed at his fingers. Your eyes never left him, a strong dark aura surrounding his body as he eyed the rabbit and mouse as they laughed and giggled across the table to each other. Before long, his eyes graced the table before landing on you, heat dropping to the pit of your stomach.

“I believe we have found him,” The cat murmured, floating down the rest of the hill.

Following suit, you trailed behind the cat, never taking your eyes off the young man. His eyes roamed your body, landing on your bare thighs multiple times. You clenched your thighs with each step, your body becoming hot under his stare. You have never seen this man before, and don’t even know why he keeps ‘calling for you’.

“It’s about time you showed up,” His voice bellowed across the table, hitting you in the pit of your stomach. “I was beginning to think you didn’t want to come.” His mouth spread into a wide grin, his teeth shining as bright as the cats.

“I-I kept trying-“

“Not trying hard enough, darling, for I had to sit here for days, staring at this ungodly clock tick-tick-ticking away,” He stared at the watch in his hand before tossing it onto the table, the ticking coming to a halt. “And now here you are! Welcome! Welcome! Sit down, have some tea.”

A loud laugh bellowed through his mouth as he kicked back in his chair, his feet propped at the edge of the table. You weren’t too sure what was exactly happening. The Cheshire took it upon himself to sit at the opposite end of the table, one furry paw gripping a teacup and the other stirring his drink.

“Well, are you going to sit?”

With the snap of his fingers, your body jolted forward, smacking down against cold wood. You gasped, glancing up and seeing the young man sitting beside you. His eyes were covered in black, the makeup oozing down from his waterline. The rest of him was covered in black clothing, pieces of random items put together and his feet laced in leather boots. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. In a perfect world, your reality, he could be a celebrity with his looks. The… Hatter… was a handsome man, and you wouldn’t deny it.

“Who are you?” You whispered, cocking your head to the side as you quizzed him.

He leaned forward, his head cocking to the side before letting out a deep chuckle, sending heat down your body.

“I’m the Hatter, of course,” He smiled, his teeth shinning white. “I’ve been eyeing you for a while, darling,”

“How?” You spit out, toying with your fingers.

He smirked, “I know everything about you, sweet girl. I know when you go home, when you cry, when you’re…pleasuring yourself,”

Your cheeks flushed, your mind racing with numerous thoughts on how the fuck this was happening. You peered across the table; the rest of the table were chatting amongst themselves, completely oblivious to the obscene comment that left the Hatter's mouth. You jerked your head back towards him, his eyes growing a shade darker as he scanned your face.

“March Hare,” He hummed, his eyes lazily falling onto the rabbit, hare… “Do you mind moving the party elsewhere? I’d like to speak to Y/N alone,”

You twitched at the sound of your name. You don’t remember telling him who you were at all. You stared him down, his skin glowing with the moonlight. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, his chest rising up and down slowly.

Mumbling a quick yes, the hare took off with the mouse and Cheshire cat before leaving you with the Hatter. Your eyes fell back onto his figure, his eyes already staring you down.

“How do you know my name?” You breathed out, toying with the hem of your dress.

“Like I said,” He whispered, “I know everything about you. I’ve wanted to get you here, but my sweet girl, you keep failing.” He chuckled, “I remember someone telling you they would pinch you if you had another bad dream trying to find me.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. How in the hell did he know about San’s comment towards you? Your mouth went dry as the Hatter smirked, seeing the confusion in your face.

“H-How did you—“

“Know? I believe the question is: Is this dream a reality? Who could possibly tell?”

Before you could respond, the Hatter sat up, his elbows resting against the table as he eyed you. Another wide grin settled on his face.

“I think you should go back tonight, sweet girl. I believe I’ve wound your silly little brain up.”

Before you could stop him, with the snap of your fingers, you fell back down through the ungodly floor before smacking against your bed. Jerking up, you scanned your room again for the second time tonight. Your face was covered in sweat and your nightgown rose to your stomach. Your hand filtered its way down to your panties, a damp spot hovering over your clit. It must’ve happened, surely? You remember his smile, the way his eyes bore into yours.

Huffing, you throw the covers off you once again and march back into the living room. To your dismay, the boys were already in their rooms. Looking towards the kitchen, the clock read half past 3 in the morning. Your head slowly turned, your eyes falling onto San’s door. How did the Hatter know that San said that to you? You slowly began creeping, your feet padding against the floor softly. Your hand reached out to grab San’s door handle, but all of a sudden, your eyes went black.

Your body dropped back into the mysterious world. Your vision blurred as your body slumped against the cold wooden chair that you just inhabited moments ago. You gasped, your eyes shooting open as realization hit. The Hatter was standing in front of you, his body leaning against the table. His head cocked to the side, and low tsks escaped his mouth as he stared down at you.

“My sweet girl, why annoy a dear friend over my knowledge?” He leaned down, his eyes coming into view with yours, “I want to be rough with you.” His veiny hands reached out and fell upon your thighs. Your breath hitched in your throat as you trembled at the touch, “I want to feel the way your pussy throbs around my dick. I know you’ve been a naughty, sweet girl, I can smell it.”

Your legs clenched, his eyes darting down to the movement before smirking. He squatted, both his hands gripping the side of your thighs before pulling them apart. The cold air on your aching pussy caused you to shiver. He slowly licked his lips before looking back at you.

“Who are you?” You breathed out, your cheeks rosy from embarrassment and slight infatuation.

He smiled, “I’m Wooyoung, of course, and I’ve known you for a while, sweet girl. All thanks to your friend, I’ve been able to live freely in your mind, learning who you are, what you like, what turns you on,” He licked his lips, his thumb grazing over your smooth skin.

“What friend?” You breathed out.

His eyebrow cocked up, “San, of course. Who else?” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes boring into you.

Before you could answer, Wooyoung’s lips made contact with your skin, kissing up the bare skin. His eyes looked at you through his lashes, his tongue leaving a small trail of spit behind him. His fingers curled around your panties, pulling the fabric down, groaning at the sight of your juices stringing along, never snapping until his fingers ran through it.

“God,” He groaned, finally dropping to his knees, “I’ve been waiting for this,”

Wooyoung’s head dipped between your thighs, his nose brushing against your clit as his tongue slipped into your sopping core. Your head flung back, soft moans escaping your throat as his tongue lapped at your core. You knocked his hat off, his thick, black hair threading through your fingers as you gripped on for dear life. Pulling his head back, Wooyoung replaced his nose with his thumb, drawing quick circles around your bundle of nerves.

“You taste so good, darling. You’re so naughty for escaping into this reality with me,”

You dropped your head, your eyes lazily watching him as he licked his lips before diving back down into your sopping mess. Your mind was hazed over with sultry thoughts. However, it kept flicking back to San, and how Wooyoung knew him.

Before you could slip into deep thought, your stomach curled as Wooyoung replaced his tongue with his fingers and began thrusting into you. Gasping, you felt your core pull tighter and tighter.

“Woo-Wooyoung!”

You screamed, your orgasm rushing down his fingers as he fucked you through your orgasm. Chuckling, Wooyoung pulled his fingers out, your juices pooling in his hands. Looking down, you watched as Wooyoung placed the fingers in his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours as he sucked on your sweet release. Moaning, his eyes rolled into the back of his head before he stood up.

“I knew you’d taste good. I knew by the way your pussy was sopping just seeing me sitting here that it’d taste good.” He smirked, “You’re such a naughty, pathetic little girl for me, Y/N”

Gripping your chin, Wooyoung forced your mouth open, dropping your release onto your tongue “Taste yourself.”

You swallowed his spit, eyeing him as he let go of your chin. His boner pressed against his pants, his length showing through. You gulped, your mouth dropping at the sight. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on at all. Here you were, fucked out just by the tongue of this man, in some unknowing world.

A slow grin spread across his face, his fingers toying the edge of the chair as he slowly walked around you. The tip of his finger stopped on your shoulder, trailing slowly down your arm, leaving goosebumps behind. Your breath was shaky, your mind completely zoned out as he squatted back down in front of you.

“Being inside of your dreams wasn’t good enough for me,” He whispered, his lips coming in contact with your thighs, sucking the sweet skin before letting go with a wet pop. “I’m so glad your sweet mind finally found its way to me.”

Your eyes raked over him, “How am I here?”

He chuckled, “That’s for another day, my sweet darling, but for now, I just want to fuck you.”

Before you could protest, Wooyoung grabbed your arm, hoisting you up onto your legs. His fingers gripped your light blue gown, tugging the fabric up before shoving you down onto the table. A low grunt passed your lips as he pressed his boner into your backside. A soft moan came from his lips as his hands roamed around the curve of your ass.

“So pretty, so… mad,”

Pushing his pants down, Wooyoung gripped his aching dick, giving himself a few quick strokes. Your body was trembling as the tip of his dick circled your clit. Soft pants escaped your lip at the sensation, your legs already shaking. Smirking, Wooyoung guided his tip up and down, coating himself in your juices.

“Are you ready, sweet girl?” His words warmed your ear, sending a shutter down your body.

“Y-Yes,” You breathed out, arching your back into him.

“Good,” He growled.

Giving one quick slap to the side of your thigh, Wooyoung pushed himself in, a loud gasp leaving your lips as a low growl escaped his. Your pussy clenched around his dick, your body warm and cozy just for him. He definitely stretched you out, filling you up to the brim. Tears filled your eyes, your nipples aching against the table at the sensation of your body being pleasured.

“Please move,” You gasped, rocking your hips back into him.

He smirked, his fingers ghosting the skin of your ass, “As you wish,”

Pulling back, Wooyoung rammed his hips into your backside. The skin-to-skin contact rang through the forest, nothing could be heard but your juices squelching against him; not even the birds were chirping.

“This is fucking impossible,” You moaned out, pulling your bottom lip in-between your teeth, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as his cock rammed into your cervix over and over again.

“Only if you believe it is, my sweet girl,”

His tongue lapped at the side of your neck, his right hand coming up to wrap around your throat, squeezing ever so gently around the column of your neck. Sweet gasps left your lips making Wooyoung’s cock throb at the sound. His mind was going animalistic at the sight of you bent on his table, with his cock deep inside of you, your juices running down your legs and onto his pants. He’s only ever wanted you here; wanted you here in his world where he can truly be himself, the Mad Hatter. His dreams ran wild with the thought of getting you to yourself, and now, here you were, so pretty underneath him.

“I-I’m about to cum,” You moaned, back arching more and more as his tip pressed against your g-spot over and over.

Hearing this, Wooyoung pulled out immediately, dropping to his knees and pressing his tongue deep inside of you. Screaming, you ground your clit against his nose and released your orgasm. All you could hear was Wooyoung slurping up your juices and his fingers massaging the back of your thighs. You couldn’t think straight, your mind hazy from what happened.

Wooyoung plopped himself down on his chair, the red velvet blending in perfectly with his all-black attire. Your arms shook as they held you up against the table, your eyes landing on the sight before you. Wooyoung’s cock stood straight up, his hand pumping the irritated skin so sweetly, so, so… fuck you couldn’t even begin to describe it. Sweat glistened across his chest, his breaths slightly heaving as he sat there and stared at your rosy cheeks.

“Come ride me, darling,” He gently patted his thigh, “I want to feel that sweet pussy convulse around me before I send you back,”

You nodded your head, taking baby steps to him making sure not to fall from how weak your thighs were. Spreading his legs further, Wooyoung placed his hands on your hips, guiding your drenching pussy down his cock. A long whimper left his throat, his breath fanning against your face. You stared at him, your eyes taking in his face. He was so fucking beautiful, so ethereal. One hand gripped his shoulder while the other lightly gripped his neck. He smirked before leaning in, pressing his soft lips against yours.

“You’ve made my wait worthwhile, dear. Now remember,” Wooyoung adjusted himself, slightly picking you up from your ass, “Whenever you need me, need me to fix your little issue,” He patted your ass, “Call for me,”

Wooyoung dropped you, his dick slamming against your cervix. You moaned, your body bouncing with the speed of his thrusts. Your breast bounced up and down in front of him, his fingers toying with the rosebuds that peaked through your nightgown. Your head lulled back, black and white spots adorning your vision.

“I’m fixing to cum again,” You whispered, licking your lips as you brought your head back.

Wooyoung’s tongue was toying his lips, his eyes focused on where your pussy and his dick connected. His cheeks began to flush, his chest slightly red as well.

“Cum for me, sweet girl. Cum around my cock so I have a reason to keep waiting,”

As if on cue, your body convulsed to his words, your pussy clenching around his dick.

“Fuck!”

His hips jerked, smacking against your bottom faster as he reached his own climax. Wooyoung panted, his seed coating your inside as you slumped down onto his chest. His hands wrapped around you, peppering sweet kisses along your shoulders. You could’ve passed out right there, but Wooyoung patted your butt and lifted you up.

“What’re you doing?” You mumbled, squeezing your thighs together to keep the cum from dripping down your legs.

He smiled, pulling his pants up, running his fingers through his hair, “You’ve got to go back,”

“Wait—“

Wooyoung snapped his fingers and there you were, falling once again and landing with a soft thud onto your bed. You shot up, running your fingers over your face.

“What the fuck!”

You jerked your head towards your window, sunlight was beaming in. You glanced down at your thighs and saw the love bites that Wooyoung had left on your thighs. It happened. You finally reached the end of the hill and came back with this. Your body shivered remembering what just happened. Tossing your covers back, you open your bedroom door and see San and Mingi standing by the door.

“What’s up?” You mumbled, wiping your face.

“Uh…” San rubbed the back of his head, “Someone’s here to see you.”

Taking a step to the side, San revealed who was at the door. Your mouth dropped, your pussy clenching at the sight.

“Hello, my sweet darling”

#jung wooyoung #wooyoung smut #wooyoung ateez #ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez x reader #wooyoung x reader #yunho #mingi #san #yeosang #jungho #seonghwa #hongjoong

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bucksangel · 2 days ago

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don't blame me (love made me crazy)

Pairing: softdark!stalker!bucky x reader

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: You’ve been stuck in this cabin for a year, and over the course of that time you’ve tried so hard to remember that you didn’t come here willingly. But, Bucky is really good at making you forget that part, until, eventually, you come to believe that this is where you’re meant to be. No matter how you got here.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!!! Minors DNI, references to kidnapping, full on stockholm syndrome, smut, wet dreams, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft love-making mixed with some roughness, squirting, crying is healthy, a little hurt-comfort, alpine makes an appearance

a/n: this is part 2 to temptation!! However, you don’t necessarily need to read part 1 to understand this, it will just give some backstory. not beta-read so all mistakes are my own.

masterlist | tip jar | ao3

Soft, plush lips are brushing over yours, hands caressing your sides and squeezing every so often, your hips rocking. You’re not quite sure where you are or who is touching you, you can only make out the hazy form above you; bright blue eyes darkened by desire stare down at you. The person pulls back at the same time you feel a pressure between your legs. Upon looking down, you see a toned stomach clenching every time their hips meet the back of your thighs. You’re spread open, gasping and whining as more pressure builds. Slowly trailing your gaze upwards, your eyes roam over an equally chiseled chest, your eyes catching the reflection of light on metal. And that’s when you know who it is that’s currently inside you, but you don’t seem to believe it until you look up further and come face to face with –

Bucky. It’s Bucky, his smile so soft and loving, his breath fanning over your face as he whispers praises into the air. You can’t make out what he’s saying, everything is still too fuzzy, all you know is that you’re about to cum. You can feel it, you can practically taste it, and you’re sure Bucky can tell because he shudders when you involuntarily clench around him.

“Angel,” He whispers, cutting through the fog in your head. You whine, wiggling your hips slightly to get him to go faster. He doesn’t.

“Angel,” He says again, louder this time. You can feel yourself rocking, and more whines and whimpers spill from your lips.

Your body is shaken a little harder, and all at once, the haze is gone.

The haze is gone, now replaced by the soft light of the sun streaming in through the curtains. Upon opening your eyes, you blink slowly, staring up at a smiling Bucky with bleary eyes.

“B-Bucky?” You mumble, voice thick with sleep. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost seven-thirty. I was going to wake you up so we could shower together, but you looked so peaceful that I decided to let you sleep in a little longer.” His smile gives away that he probably knew what you were dreaming about, and the thought makes your face grow hot. There’s a stickiness between your legs, one that you’re desperately trying to ignore as you sit upright.

“Oh, I - I’m sorry,” You say remorsefully, you know how much Bucky likes keeping you on a routine. You’re supposed to wake up at seven every morning, shower with Bucky, and then sit on his lap as he feeds you whatever he made for breakfast that day. So, for him to disrupt your schedule, even by thirty minutes, feels weird. You decide not to question it for the time being.

“No, baby, it’s okay,” Bucky says as he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I know we did a lot of gardening yesterday so being in that heat probably made you extra tired. But, now that you’re up, why don’t you go ahead and get showered while I make us some food, yeah?”

Even though it’s phrased as a question, you know it’s not. You don’t really get a say in anything, but… but that’s your life now, isn’t it? Not being able to decide for yourself, having no freedom from outside of the confines of this cabin that you’ve been trapped in for… god, who knows how long.

Without wasting much time, you slide out of bed, stopping to give Bucky a smile and a kiss before you go into the bathroom. When you enter, you make sure to leave the door halfway open, another thing Bucky likes. He doesn’t like the idea of a barrier between you two, always needing easy access in case you somehow injure yourself, or he just needs some extra love and doesn’t want to waste time by fiddling with the doorknob.

Your movements are almost robotic as you take off your clothes, once again ignoring the ache between your thighs as you toss your clothes in the hamper. You try not to look at yourself in the mirror, you actually hate doing it. Because the person who looks back at you is supposed to be you. The person in your reflection is supposed to have life in her eyes, her face shouldn’t have a permanent frown etched onto it whenever she doesn’t have to plaster on a fake smile for Bucky.

Except… is it fake? It’s been so long since you’ve seen your friends and family, your loyal customers at the coffee shop you used to hate working at but now would give anything to go back to, you’d happily take the yelling from angry customers over their drinks being wrong than being held in the middle of the woods by a man who desperately needs intense therapy. He told you he used to go before you ‘moved’ in, as he likes to say, but now with you around he doesn’t feel the need to go. He has all of his happiness right in his home every day.

And it’s getting significantly harder to convince yourself that this isn’t what you want, you don’t want to be confined to this cabin and the garden surrounding it. It’s so fucking hard to forget that this isn’t the fairytale romance you had envisioned as a kid, but it’s also hard to remember your life before Bucky. Because he’s just so damn sweet and loving that it’s fucking with your mind, it makes you want to scream.

Bucky goes out and buys you flowers every Sunday, making sure to write a heartfelt message on the card attached to the bouquet by a ribbon. He built a huge library before you got here and let you pick the trinkets and books that would fill the shelves. He even bought gardening supplies after a few months when he realized you were getting too cooped up and gave you access to the space in the backyard.

You like to think that if you met under better circumstances then your relationship would be vastly different. It would be happy for both of you, not just one-sided. However… would it really be so bad to just give in? By now you know you’re never escaping, and you’re tired of being so despondent all the time, you’re tired of dreading another day with your captor.

You’re just tired. Of everything.

It takes effort to pull your gaze away from the mirror, but you eventually reach into the shower to turn the water on. When it’s warm enough, you step inside, letting the hot water cascade over your body and soothe the ache in your soul. And while standing under the stream your mind wanders back to your dream. You’ve been having these dreams more and more over the last few weeks. They don’t happen every night, and it’s not always the same scenario, but the overall theme of the dreams is just the same.

You’d bet you’ve been in this cabin for almost a year, judging by the change in weather reminiscent of when you were taken. And in that time, Bucky has made no sexual advancement towards you. His affection usually consists of kisses, cuddles, and gentle massages when he wants you to really relax. There might be a bit of groping when you’re in the shower together, but he’s done nothing more than that, and that confuses you even more. You figured at first that maybe he was just going to let you acclimate to this new environment before making his move, but he’s done no such thing. He’s been very clear in his pure intentions, has never made you feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.

But why? Isn’t your sole reason for being here to please him?

Once again, it confuses you, and when you move your head slightly some of the water splashes onto your face, knocking you out of your thoughts. Deciding you’ve dwelled enough, you grab your loofah and start washing your body, trying to ignore the ache in between your thighs as you give your legs a cursory wash. And as you continue through your shower, you can hear Bucky’s footsteps on the carpet in your bedroom.

You know that he’s a trained assassin, can sneak up on someone without them hearing anything, but Bucky’s told you he doesn’t want to scare you. He did once when you first got here. He didn’t have any intentions of spooking you, he just wanted to come up behind you and wrap his arms around you while you cooked. But you ended up nearly shrieking and almost spilling the sauce you were making, and Bucky felt so guilty that he didn’t touch you for two days until you convinced him that you weren’t scared of him, you were just surprised because you didn’t hear him coming. So now Bucky always makes sure to walk a little heavier to alert you of his presence.

“Angel?” His voice echoes through the bathroom as he enters, the door opening wider and allowing you to see Bucky’s hazy form from behind the glass shower door. “Are you okay?” Fuck, you’ve probably been in here too long if he’s already done with breakfast.

“Yes,” You say as you turn off the water. Upon stepping out of the shower, Bucky is there to wrap a towel around your shoulders to start drying you off. “Sorry, the hot water just felt nice.”

Bucky chuckles as he rubs the towel over your body, smiling at you the way he always does – that he can never really believe that you’re real.

“It’s okay, angel,” He says as he puts the towel in the hamper and turns to grab one of his shirts that he loves seeing you wear. “But I’m sure my excellent cooking will be enough reason to get out.” At that, he laughs again, and you do too, because his cooking isn’t all that great. He’s gotten much better over the last year, but it could still be better.

“It always is.”

“You’re lying and I know it.” Bucky laughs again and squints his eyes at you, giving you a teasing glare after he pulls the shirt over your head. And it makes you feel at least a little better knowing that he’s self-aware enough to know that.

“Okay, so maybe it isn’t the best food I’ve ever eaten,” You concede, holding onto Bucky’s shoulders to steady yourself as he dresses you in underwear and shorts. “But I’ll still eat anything you make because you made it.” And it kind of hurts to admit, but your sentiment isn’t a total lie. Bucky may be disturbed, but he truly puts all of his love into everything he does, and you can’t deny that he puts so much effort into making you comfortable.

Bucky’s still squatting when you say that, and he lets his hands rest on your hips while he looks up at you with nothing less than absolute adoration.

“And because you love me?” He asks, hopefully. He loves it when you say it, you’re pretty sure it’s his favorite three words he’s ever heard.

Combing your fingers through his hair, you scratch at his scalp a little and force your voice not to waver as you say, “And because I love you.”

The rest of the day goes by as it usually does; Bucky feeds you breakfast with you perched on his lap, giving you kisses in between bites and sighing wistfully every so often. Afterward, you make your way to the library and sit on the bench seat by the window, reading one of the many classics that fill the room for a couple of hours while Bucky goes out to run errands.

Although, if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re not really reading. Your eyes are skimming over the words but you’re not processing any of them. No, your mind is still focused on this morning and how real the dream felt, how a part of you that you try to ignore wants it to be real. You try to chalk it up to the fact that you haven’t been intimate with anyone in so long, but the fact that it’s Bucky you’re dreaming about makes you think that it might just be him that you want.

No. Stop it. He kidnapped you. You don’t want him.

As you’re about to give up on reading, you hear the door creak open wider. Looking up, you see Bucky standing in the doorway, shuffling nervously and fiddling with his fingers.

“Is everything okay, Bucky?” You close the book and set it aside, your eyebrows furrowing with worry as you walk towards him.

“I…” He trails off, briefly biting his lip before smiling wide, like a kid on Halloween that filled up his candy bag. “Just come with me.”

Bucky reaches out his hand, and you place yours in his. You’re confused, but go with him anyway. He leads you down the hallway to the spare room – you’re not sure why he included it when he built the cabin, but you’ve never asked why. When you get there, Bucky is practically vibrating with nervous excitement. He smiles at you one more time before opening the door and revealing the interior. And it’s full of cat trees and toys, and you’re momentarily confused as to why he has these before you spot a ball of white fur curled up on a mini hammock.

Immediately, you recognize it as a cat, clearly a baby considering how small it is. Bucky tugs you further into the room towards where the kitten is sleeping, stopping right in front of the hammock and moving behind you so he can wrap his arms around your waist.

“I found her a couple of days ago,” Bucky starts, and you can feel him smiling into your neck. “She was all the way out in the back of the property, shivering and dirty. She’s just so small and I knew I had to take her in before anything happened to her. I brought all the toys and cat trees in just now when you were in the library so you wouldn’t see it. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

And oh what a surprise it is. The kitten must hear Bucky talking because her eyes slowly blink open before landing on you, meowing softly and shifting in the hammock so she can lean her paws on the side and lift up in what you’re assuming is an attempt to get pets. You’re helpless but to pick her up and cuddle her close to your chest, your heart warming with affection when she nuzzles into you.

“What’s her name?” Your voice is soft because you don’t want to disturb her, and she meows again, almost like she’s thanking you for the consideration.

“I haven’t named her yet. I wanted you to.”

It takes no time at all for you to answer.

“Alpine.”

“Alpine?” Bucky sounds curious, and he kisses your temple as he moves to gently scratch behind her ears. “Why that name?”

“I don’t know,” You answer honestly. “She just looks like an Alpine.”

Bucky laughs from behind you, kissing your temple once more and nodding.

“Alpine it is.”

A few days later, you’re in Alpine’s dedicated room playing with her. She’s allowed to free roam throughout the house, but she prefers being in here – or, really, anywhere you are. She’s taken a liking to you, and you to her. She’s almost like a friend to you, someone you can turn to when you get too sad because you know she won’t judge you, she’ll give you kisses and cuddles and make you feel better within minutes. You’re currently lying on your stomach, giving Alpine head scratches and laughing softly when she nibbles at your fingers affectionately.

“What should I do, hm?” Your question is rhetorical, you know she can’t understand you, let alone respond. Still, you like talking to her as though she can. “These… dreams are getting worse. Well, not worse per se, just – more intense. And I don’t know what to do about them. He’s never pressured me into anything, even though I’m fairly certain he does want… that.”

Sighing, you roll over onto your back, letting Alpine crawl onto your stomach and make her way up to your chest so her nose is nearly pressed against yours. And when she meows, you can’t help but smile.

“I don’t know if I want to tell him about them though. I mean, am I even ready? I’ve been here for so long and I know I’m not leaving, and he says he loves me, so I’m pretty sure he won’t make me do anything I don’t want even if I do tell him.” Pausing, you sigh, holding Alpine close to your chest while you sit up.

“What do you think, Alp? Should I tell him?” She immediately meows and lifts up to give your chin a little lick, and you smile at her. “Okay, okay.”

It takes a moment to gather yourself, letting the truth sink in.

“I’ll tell him.”

Despite not having access to any calendars, you’re pretty sure today is your anniversary. Bucky, once again, let you sleep in a little bit longer, staying in bed with you and holding you close while you traded kisses. He cooked up a huge breakfast and placed a big bouquet of roses on your nightstand, even going so far as to massage your feet and calves while you ate. Part of you doesn’t want to ask, because then it would be real. Not only have you been here for a full year, but you’ve been missing for longer than that, and that truth still hurts.

Still, you take everything he does for you gracefully, thanking him for being so thoughtful and trying not believe yourself when you tell him that you’ve never been treated so lovingly. Well, it’s kind of true, despite the fact that you didn’t come here willingly. He really does treat you with care, and his consideration of your feelings – other than the negative ones towards him – is something you haven’t experienced before.

It’s around mid-day when Bucky gives you your first gift. Well, it’s technically a joint gift for you and Alpine – an oversized hoodie with a pouch in front big enough for the kitty to snuggle in so you can carry her around the house with you without actually using your hands. It’s actually extremely thoughtful, and you can’t help but laugh when you notice that the hood has little cat ears on them.

“Thank you, Bucky,” You say after he helps you put it on, smiling wide when he picks up Alpine and helps put her inside the pocket.

“Of course, angel,” He says, also smiling. Then, he grabs his phone, pointing it at you. “Now, let me get a picture of my girls.”

You adjust your position on the couch, sitting up further and making sure Alpine’s head is poking out. Last minute, you flip up your hood, making sure the ears are visible and chuckling when you hear the rapid click of the camera as Bucky takes multiple photos. After he’s done, he pockets his phone again, coming to sit next to you on the couch and wrap one arm around you while he pets Alpine’s head with his other hand.

Everything is quiet for a little bit, both of you loving on your cat. When she starts trying to get out, presumably ready to play, Bucky helps her out of the pocket, then helps you out of the hoodie.

“Bucky?” You’re not sure why, but now feels like the right time to ask. Even though your entire body feels like it’s on fire.

“Yes, baby?”

“Um…” Sighing, you look down at your hands as you fiddle with your fingers. “I was wondering, um…”

“What’s wrong?” Bucky shifts so he’s facing you, using one hand to lift your chin so you can look at him.

“Why haven’t we had sex yet?” Your question comes out so fast that you’re unsure if Bucky actually understood you, but you don’t want to repeat yourself so you just hold your breath as you await his answer.

“What do you mean” He genuinely sounds confused, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Well, I just assumed that I was here to… please you. I know you love me, so I guess I’m just confused as to why you haven’t tried to do anything.” You try to breathe evenly, even though your heart is beating so fast in anxiety that you feel like you might pass out. You don’t want to upset him, so you’re hoping he doesn’t take offense to your comment.

Bucky doesn’t answer for a couple of minutes, he just sighs and dips his head low, like he’s thinking over his words carefully. But when he does speak, it surprises you.

“Because you’re not ready. You’re right when you say that I love you, which means I’m going to respect your boundaries. I don’t want to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.”

Tears want to spring to your eyes, because at that moment you know you’re rightfully fucked. He’s just too perfect that you can’t wrap your head around this conversation. You’d never thought of it like that, that he’d want to make sure you’re comfortable with him before taking that next step. And now you know that you want to, you want to give yourself to him in that way. And, now it’s your turn to lift his head to look at you, then lace your fingers with his.

“And… what if I am ready?”

Immediately, Bucky’s eyes widen, and you think you can see a little bit of hope in his eyes. Despite your earlier nerves, you can feel in your soul that you are ready to take the leap, and you can’t help but give him a soft smile.

“Are you sure?” He asks, squeezing your hand in a loving gesture. “I don’t want you to do something just because you think I’m expecting it.”

“I know you’re not expecting anything,” You say, briefly biting your lip. “And I want to, I promise.”

Bucky sighs, then leans forward to press his lips to yours. It’s not an intense kiss, it’s a reassuring one, a kiss that lets you know he wants this too. You pull apart when your stomach starts rumbling, and you’re reminded that you haven’t eaten since this morning.

“Come on, baby, let’s make lunch.”

You’re slightly on edge for the rest of the day, awaiting the moment. Bucky hasn’t made a move yet, so you’re assuming it’s going to happen before you go to bed, and even though you’re nervous, you can’t deny that most of those nerves are from excitement.

And when the clock strikes seven, Bucky leads you out of Alpine’s room and to yours, smiling at you the entire time. Typically, Bucky likes you to be in bed by eight-thirty, but you’re assuming you’re going to be up a little later tonight which is why he wants to start early. As soon as he closes the bedroom door, you can feel your heart beat increasing, and Bucky comes up in front of you to cup your face in his hands.

“Are you positive you want this?” His eyes scan your face, looking for a hint of doubt. He finds none, because you aren’t doubting this. You’re sure you’re not going to regret this.

“I promise, Bucky.” The assuring comment comes out breathy, and your eyes travel down to his lips before looking back up into his. “I’m ready.”

Bucky hums, nodding a little before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. It slowly becomes more intense, your lips gliding against each other as your tongues start invading each others mouths. You don’t even notice when his hands land on your hips until they sneak up your shirt, causing you to squeak.

“Angel,” Bucky breathes out, removing his mouth from yours to glide down to your neck where he presses more insistent kisses, even nibbling on the skin until you’re sure you’ll have bruises. He slides his hands up to your waist, going up, up, and up until you’re prompted to lift your arms over your head so he can take off your shirt.

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” He growls as his eyes scan your torso, causing you to whimper and hold onto his shoulders while you press your body closer to his.

“Bucky, please.” You don’t really know what you’re asking for, but Bucky seems to know exactly what you need.

In response to your begging, he lifts you into his arms, carrying you bridal-style to the bed until he lays you down in the middle of it. When he pulls back, he props himself up on his left forearm so he can place his flesh hand on your sternum. Dragging his hand down to your shorts, he toys with the ties, then looks up at you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“Yes,” You say when you realize he’s waiting for permission. “Please take them off, Bucky.”

He groans again, dipping his head low for a minute before undoing the ties and shifting up onto his knees so he can use both of his hands to drag your shorts down your legs. Now you’re left in just your bra and underwear, and you’re tempted to cover your body. He’s seen you naked hundreds of times, but this feels different, and you’re sure it’s because of the more intimate setting.

“Don’t,” He says adamantly, not being mean but letting you know there’s no room for discussion. “Don’t hide your body from me, angel. You’re perfect.”

Tears want to spring to your eyes, and you forget all about why you were so nervous in the first place, you don’t even know why you’ve resisted his love all this time.

“Thank you, baby,” You whimper, bringing up your hand to wipe at your eyes to get rid of the tears. “I… I love you.” And, this time, you know you mean it. You mean it with everything you have.

“I love you too. So fucking much.” Bucky smiles at you, his eyes also watery. He dips down again to kiss you, shuddering when you tug at his shirt. He moves slowly, kissing you for a few long moments until he huffs out a laugh at your insistent tugging at his shirt. “Okay, okay.”

Lifting up onto his knees, he grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, smiling wider when he catches you practically drooling over his exposed chest. But then he freezes up, briefly glancing at his left shoulder. And, you realize now that this new intimate setting is probably getting to him too, and you know you need to get rid of those awful thoughts he has about himself.

“Buck,” You say softly, sitting up and placing your hands on his chest. Your right hand travels to his shoulder where his flesh meets metal, and you trace the scars delicately with the tips of your fingers. “Please don’t be ashamed of them. You may not like it, but the scars don’t matter to me. They’re a part of you, and I love all of you.” You can see the tears in Bucky’s eyes as you speak, his bottom lip wobbling a little as he tries not to cry.

“Are you -” Bucky stops himself, sniffles and clears his throat, then continues. “Are you sure? I mean, you’ve seen it before but…”

“But nothing.” Your voice isn’t harsh, but you let him know you don’t want him to argue. “I said I love you, all of you. Don’t you believe me?”

“Of course I do!” Bucky says hurriedly, placing both of his hands over yours and squeezing them close to his chest. “I-I know you do. I love you too.” He sighs, bringing up one of your hands to kiss your knuckles. Then, he gently pushes you back onto the bed, not breaking eye contact as he shuffles off the bed so he can take off his sweats and boxers.

When they’re finally off, Bucky crawls back onto the bed, stopping at your hips so he can toy with the band of your panties. You nod at him when he looks to you for consent, and he keeps looking at you as he drags them down your legs, only breaking your gaze so he can focus on maneuvering your feet out of them. It seems like he wants to get going, but then his eyes travel to your bra-covered chest and he switches gears. Knowing what he wants, you arch your back so he can undo the hook and then you lay back down so he can throw it off to the side.

And now, you’re both naked, Bucky hovering over you and looking at you through teary eyes. He places his flesh hand on your stomach, trailing his fingers up to your breast so he can tweak one of your nipples.

“Bucky, please.”

“Don’t worry, angel,” Bucky says softly, dipping down to kiss your lips before kissing down your neck and collarbone, then stopping at your other breast so he can nibble on it. “I’ve got you, I’ve always got you,” He whispers into your skin.

“I know.” His eyes flick up to yours at the confirmation, and he smirks a little to himself as he bites down on your nipple, causing you to whimper.

Despite your wiggling, he takes his time kissing over your chest, going down your stomach until he has to slide down the bed so he can come face-to-face with your pussy. You spread your legs of your own volition, and Bucky groans in appreciation, nuzzling his nose into your lower lips and breathing deeply.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” He nearly growls, shifting so he’s laying between your legs and placing his flesh hand on your thigh to keep you spread and using his metal hand to pull your other leg over his shoulder. “Is all this for me?” He asks, referring to the slick dripping out of your pussy.

“Yes, all for you.” You reach your hand down and card your fingers through his hair, prompting him to look up at you. “Only for you.”

Bucky swallows down his emotions, nodding at you one last time before diving in. He takes one more deep breath, nudging his nose along your folds, then using his flesh hand to spread them apart. You gasp when he drags his tongue from your quivering hole to your throbbing clit, and you’re hit with the overwhelming knowledge that you won’t last long. You haven’t been intimate with anyone – let alone had time for yourself – in so long, and Bucky seems to realize this when he pulls back just enough to mumble, “Cum whenever you need, baby. Give it to me.”

He continues, dipping his tongue into your soaking hole, thrusting it in and out a few times before going up to nibble and suck on your clit. You don’t even realize that you’re now a blubbering mess, whining and moaning and squirming in Bucky’s hold as you feel your release build. And, you’d be embarrassed with how fast you’re about to cum considering how not-long you’ve been at this if not for Bucky’s groans of appreciation. You’re unconsciously tugging at his hair too, pulling him closer, but then your hand tightens when he suddenly prods his forefinger at your hole.

Immediately, you tense up a little, because, despite how wet you are, you’re still really tight. And Bucky’s fingers are big, so it takes a bit of shushing and sweet kisses to your thighs for you to relax enough for him to fit his finger in, but only just until the second knuckle. He pauses, letting you adjust to the intrusion, which you’re grateful for. He wiggles it a little, sucking and kissing your clit until you relax enough for him to push his finger in all the way, then pull it out so he can push it in again.

He keeps at the tortuously slow pace, carefully opening you up until he can fit a second finger in your pussy. Your breaths are coming out faster, you’re almost panting at this point as he speeds up until he’s truly fingering you, really giving you what you need. And right when you feel like you’re about to explode with pleasure, Bucky wraps his lips around your clit, bites down softly, and then sucks as shoves in a third finger and stabs at that special spot deep within you.

“Bucky! Oh, fuck, yes!” Bucky will gloat later about how loud he made you scream just from his fingers and mouth, how you squirted all over his forearm and chin. He’d also admit that he nearly blew his own load at your taste, but he wanted to save his release for you.

It takes a few long moments to come down from your high, and when you do, you see Bucky up on his knees looking down at you while fisting his cock.

“Are you sure you want this? We can stop if it’s too much.” You know Bucky doesn’t want to stop, but you also know he gladly would if you asked him to, which is how you know you want to continue.

“No stopping allowed,” You breathe out, smiling at him a little when he chuckles. “Now, please get inside me or I’ll cry.”

“There’s no need to cry right now, baby,” He says, leaning over you to prop himself up on his right forearm and grab the base of his cock with his metal hand and guide it to your entrance. “But you will be crying by the end of the night.”

You surge up to kiss him, biting his bottom lip and grasping his shoulders to brace yourself. Bucky groans, and you lay back down so you can stare into each other’s eyes as he pushes in slowly. Again, he seems to understand that even though you’ve just cum harder than you can ever remember, you’re still a little tight – especially since he’s easily the biggest man you’ve ever been with.

It takes a couple of minutes until he’s buried fully inside you. You’re whimpering while he’s biting his lip, letting out little groans. Placing his metal hand on your thigh, he spreads you open further, though not too far as to hurt you. Carefully, he pulls back, letting you get used to the movements when he pushes back in.

And it goes like this for a bit, Bucky fucking you slowly until you start wiggling your hips and clutch his shoulders.

“Pl-Please, Bucky. I – Faster.” You know you sound pathetic, but you can’t find it in you to care, mostly because your mind has floated off into space as you soak in the immense pleasure.

Bucky listens to you, taking his time in picking up the pace until you’re sure you’re about to break. He keeps mumbling praises the whole time, telling you how you’re so fucking beautiful and thank you for trusting me and god, I love you so much.

Lifting up your left leg, he places it over his shoulder, and every so often he’ll force his hips flush with the backs of your thighs and grind his hips, the tip of his cock nudging at your sweet spot and causing you to moan loudly. And, he was right, because the longer it goes on the more tears you can feel pooling in your eyes until they start streaming down your face.

“Bu – Bucky,” You can’t help but whine, your breaths coming out uneven as you try to control your emotions.

“It’s okay, angel,” He says, just this side of condescending. His tone sends shivers down your spine, and you have to force your eyes from closing because you want to see Bucky’s face for this. “I know it’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“Y-Yes, fuck, you’re – Ah! You’re so big!” You can see through your hazy vision that he’s smirking, though you can tell he’s close to crying too. He’s always been emotionally open, always telling you how he’s feeling and encouraging you to share yours as well. Which is why you’re comfortable with being so vulnerable in front of him.

“Are you close?” He asks, his breathing speeding up as his hips do too. “Fuck, angel. Tell me you’re close.”

“I am!” You’re practically screaming at this point with every powerful thrust he gives you. To an outsider, it may look a little like he’s breaking you apart with his cock, but you know the truth. He’s putting you back together, making you whole in a way you’ve never been before. “Cum with me, please!”

Bucky groans and shudders, gritting his teeth when you dig your nails into his shoulders. Nodding, he adjusts his position so every thrust has his cock stabbing deep within you every time. And you place your hand on the side of his face, making sure he’s looking directly at you when you clench down purposefully, and he shouts at the same time you do, letting go at the same time.

You don’t know what happens after that, all you remember is having the most intense orgasm of your life and then suddenly you’re waking up cuddled into Bucky’s chest, the sky outside now dark as the moon sneaks up into the sky. Wiggling a little, you realize Bucky cleaned you up, but you can still feel the remnants of his cum inside you, and you relish in it.

“Bucky?” You mumble, rubbing at your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Just past ten,” He says softly, kissing the top of your head then lifting your chin so he can look into your eyes. “You don’t regret this, do you?” You can tell he’s nervous, that he really wants your answer to be no.

“I don’t.” You lean up to give him a lingering kiss, sighing into each other’s mouths before pulling away just enough to stare into his eyes as you say, “I’ll never regret being with you.”

And, finally, you mean it, because you realize now that this is the love you’ve always wished for. Bucky takes care of you in a way you both know no one else can, and you can only hope he knows that you can take care of him too. You’ll love him deeply, and you’ll give him the life he deserves.

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homesick4la · 3 days ago

Text

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

1. pushing it down and praying

contains: a little cheating..smoking, some nsfw content but nothing crazy

summary: after half a year of no contact, you run into your ex at a party.

a/n: kinda got this idea from the lizzy mcalpine song bc i am obsessed with it. so listen if you haven’t lol. also i decided to split the fic but it’s only gonna be two parts!

it’d officially been six months since you and your ex boyfriend went no contact.

the first few months were hell for you.

of course, you went through the stereotypical phase of eating ice cream and crying to rom-coms directly after your break up. but that short-lived phase gradually shifted into one that was much more melancholic once the two of you decided to go no contact.

everyday that you woke up, you were engulfed by an emotional numbness. a dull pain that served as a constant reminder of your grief.

you were grieving what the relationship was and what it could’ve been.

you had always envisioned your future with hamzah in it which is why the lack of communication between the two of you left you absolutely soulless.

you had never experienced such an intense love before him. everything was picture perfect in the beginning. it was even better than the movies.

but after two years, the miscommunication between you to became destructive.

things that should have been minor disagreements escalated into full blown arguments. you’d yell over each other, ignoring each other’s feelings and growing overwhelmingly defensive.

eventually, it became exhausting. you were both so angry all the time and too stressed with work or school to address it properly.

ultimately, you two mutually decided to call it quits. additionally, you later agreed that going no contact would be the best option for both of you.

now, half a year later, you were finally trying to move on.

after reading an endless amount of self-help books, you learned that after experiencing every stage of relationship grief (which you had), you theoretically should be ready to search for love again.

despite your reluctance, your best friends had forced you to join all the dating apps- urging you to hook up with someone new to get your mind off your ex.

it took days of swiping left on men that were literally the epitome of a walking red flag for you to finally find a man suitable enough to go on a date with.

his name was matthew. he recently graduated from college and instantly started a 9-5 working in finance. he spent his free time hiking. he had a golden retriever.

he was kind. he was stable. but he wasn’t hamzah.

you two had gone on a few dates. you had even hooked up after a couple of them.

as guilty as it made you, each hook up was spent closing your eyes- imagining hamzah on top of you. that it wasn’t matthew deep inside of you but it was hamzah; the one that knew your body like the back of his hand and knew just how to please you every time.

you were giving your all to this “moving on” stage but you simply weren’t satisfied.

that being said, when matthew had asked you to attend an old friend’s party with him on your last date, you politely agreed.

now here you were, shuffling through a crowd of sweaty bodies with a man that barely knew you guiding you by your waist.

“how do you know the host again?” you ask, nearly yelling over the music that was blasting through numerous speakers.

“he’s a friend from my hometown, remember? from ottawa?”

“right, right. i remember now.” you look up at him. you did not remember.

you two make your way into the kitchen. he pours shots of vodka into red solo cups and hands one to you.

you feel the familiar burn of alcohol stinging your throat as you down the shot.

“you look gorgeous tonight by the way. forgot to tell you earlier.” he tells you, running his hand up and down your waist.

hamzah would’ve told you earlier. he would’ve been kissing up and down your neck before you even finished your makeup while getting ready. reiterating how beautiful you are each time his lips left your skin.

fuck. there you go again. comparing everything matthew said or did to hamzah.

he’s not in your life anymore, you think to yourself. it’s time to get over him.

“thank you.” you answer matthew, mustering up a smile.

“you ready to go meet my friends?”

“yeah, let’s go! i’m excited to meet them.” you were lying straight through your teeth. but you continued to put on this enthusiastic act simply because he was nice.

he leads you to the main room where you meet a couple of his hometown friends. one named kyle. another named josh.

they were essentially carbon copies of matthew. frat bros that grew up and became finance guys.

you quietly listen as the boys catch up on one another’s lives.

until something, someone, catches your eye.

hamzah. he was across the large room with his back faced toward you. but it had to be him.

you could recognize the shape of his shoulders and you knew that those dark curls stuffed under a camo hat could only belong to him.

you stomach drops. somehow, you had never ran into him since the breakup.

the sight of him mixed with the alcohol made you sick to your stomach.

“hey”, you tap on matthew’s shoulder. “i’m gonna go find a bathroom real quick.” you explain.

“okay, just come find me when you’re done.” he replies before resuming his conversation with his friends.

you turn around, walking in the direction of a long hallway that you knew must have a bathroom.

you turn the doorknob of the first door you find and miraculously, it is a bathroom.

you clutch onto the counter, letting out a sharp exhale.

one of your hands grips to your stomach while you continue taking deep breaths.

in for 4. hold for 7. out for 8. you repeat.

a breathing technique that hamzah had taught you.

you hear the doorknob rattle. before you can say anything, the door is being launched open.

“oh shit! sorry!”, you hear a familiar voice as the door is being pulled closed again. “wait- y/n?”

the voice belonged to mandy. hamzah’s bestfriend’s girlfriend. you forgot that her and martin were from ottawa. they must’ve known the host of the party.

she steps inside, shutting the door behind her.

“are you okay? what’re you doing here? i haven’t seen you in so long.” she pulls you into a hug.

“yeah i’m here with some guy i’ve been seeing. but i saw hamzah and just needed to take a sec.” you explain during your embrace.

she pulls away, looking in your eyes.

“did he see you?”

“no, he was facing the other direction.”

“oh okay”, she nods and looks down.

“yeah. i haven’t seen him since we ended things so, it gave me a bit of panic attack.” you chuckle awkwardly.

“i’m sorry, y/n. break ups suck.” she pauses, “when i went through my first break up, i saw my ex at an amusement park about a month after. and i got so upset, i threw up in front of one of those stupid basketball games where you can win a big teddy bear.”

you laugh at her story, “seriously?”

“yes! it was so bad, the worker ended up giving me one of those huge bears out of pity!” she exclaims.

once your laughter dies down, mandy breaks the silence once again.

“he still talks about you, you know. every once in a while.”

every once in a while. you had thought of him every single day.

“every once in a while?”

“yeah. seems like most of the time it’s too hard for him to talk about. but sometimes, he can’t help himself.”

maybe he did think of you as often as you did.

“anyway”, she continues, “whose this new guy?”

she smirks teasingly.

“ugh. mandy, he’s so boring! but he’s so nice! he’s just- he’s nothing like hamzah. i don’t know- he’s really sweet, it’s just not, exciting? i guess?”

she nods. “well, if you want my advice..i say you shouldn’t stay with someone just because they’re nice to you. a lot of people are nice. only a few people will make you feel ‘sparks’ or whatever.”

you nod understandingly.

god you missed talking to her.

“i gotta get back to martin but if you want to talk to hamzah, he went out on the balcony. and let’s not have to run into each other at a random party to catch up again, ‘kay? text me.”

“okay.” you hug her tightly, “we’ll go for coffee soon.”

she smiles before exiting the bathroom.

you look into the mirror, trying to decide if going out on the balcony is a good idea.

“fuck it.” you whisper to yourself.

you didn’t know when you’d ever get the opportunity to speak to hamzah again. you had to go out on that balcony.

you walk out of the bathroom, sneaking past matthew who was still deep in conversation.

turning the corner past the main room, you find the sliding glass door to the balcony.

there he is. alone. sat on the small balcony, lighting a joint that hangs between his lips.

with his camo hat he wore a pair of dark wash jeans and white t-shirt.

you take a deep breath before reaching to slide open the door.

his head instantly whips towards you, his eyes widening a bit.

“hi.” you break the silence. you feel awkward. what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been completely heartbroken over for the last six months?

“hey.” his eyes soften as he speaks.

“i, um- ran into mandy. she told me you were out here.” you explain to him.

he nods slowly. “come sit.” he pats the space on the floor next to him.

you do as he says. plopping onto the ground and pulling your knees to your chest.

he takes a drag from the joint between his fingers before pulling it out and handing it over to you. you two had shared a joint countless times during your relationship, making the action feel natural.

you bring the joint to your lips, sucking on it for a few seconds before blowing out the smoke and handing it back to him.

“how’ve you been?” he asks.

his voice was calm. you wondered how he could act so nonchalant in this situation.

“i’ve been okay. school’s been stressful.” you say, trying to avoid ranting about the emotional turmoil you’ve experienced since you two separated. “how about you?”

“good. just working a lot. martin and i upload multiple times a week now and run the merch ourselves so it’s been busy, but it’s fun.” his face lights up as he talks about it. he’d always been passionate about his career.

“that’s great, hamzah. i still remember when you had him up on that cracked screen just to have him on the pod.” you laugh.

“oh god, it was a shit show trying to get that thing to run properly.” he chuckles at the memory.

it falls silent for a moment.

“you still gonna become a journalist?” he asks, cocking his head to the side while looking at you.

“that’s the plan, yeah.” you answer.

“good. you were always good with words.”

“yeah?” you smile.

“of course, it’s why i was always calling you smarty pants.”

you chuckle at the nickname you’d forgotten about.

“i thought you were calling me that because of my attitude.” since childhood, you were teased for being bit of a know it all.

“i mean- yeah that was part of it.” he laughs, “but it was mostly because of that big brain of yours.”he taps his pointer finger to your temple.

“well, i don’t feel very smart these days.” you admit. “my grades have been slipping.”

“seriously? how come?”

“just had a rough last couple months.” you try to remain vague.

“your new guy not keeping you happy?”

your eyes widen. how did he know about matthew?

“did you see me with him inside?”

“yeah. i was about to walk into the kitchen when i saw you two together.”

you exhale deeply. “oh, uh. sorry about that.”

“answer my question, y/n.” his voice was low, serious.

“what?” your voice tinged with confusion.

“are you happy?”

you think for moment. you could lie, tell him you’re happy, let him believe that you’ve moved on. but everything in you wants to be honest with him.

“i’m trying to be.” you respond quietly before taking the joint from his hands and up to your mouth once again.

his eyes were glued to you as pushed the smoke from your mouth, like he was studying your face.

“that guy’s not right for you.” he shook his head as he spoke.

“hamzah, you don’t know him.” you’re not sure why you feel the need to defend matthew but you do.

“i can see what kind of guy he is—the kind that can’t even begin to grasp the complexity to you.” he explains.

“you’re high, hamzah. and you’re jumping to conclusions.”, you shift your position on the ground, “based on looks, might i add. didn’t they teach you not to do that in elementary school? the whole don’t judge a book by its cover thing? did you tune that part out?” you say as you stand from your spot. it pained you how well hamzah could read people- how accurate his description of matthew was.

“baby all this rambling makes it seem like you’re avoiding the truth—that he’s not good enough for you. and you’re not happy. i mean has he even noticed how long you’ve been gone?”

you forgot how stubborn this man could be.

you let out a defeated sigh. “it’s none of your business, really. and you’re right, i’ve been gone too long. i should get back to him.”

you steal the joint from his hand and take one last drag before you start to walk back towards the sliding glass door. you hear hamzah rise to his feet behind you.

“y/n, wait.”

you turn around, facing towards him again. “yeah?”

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that.” he apologizes.

“s’okay.”, you shrug your shoulders. “it was nice running into you.”

he nods agreeably.

you turn back around, beginning to accept that this was it. your last few seconds with him before you were back to no contact.

your hand reaches the sliding glass door, about to pull the door open when you hear hamzah’s voice once again.

“y/n, don’t go.”

don’t go.

“what?” you question, furrow your eyebrows.

he takes slow steps toward you, ditching his joint by throwing the remains of it to the floor.

he keeps walking towards you until you’re just a foot apart. he grabs your hand, pulling you to him and shifting your bodies so your lower back rested the black metal railing of the balcony as he stood directly in front of you.

his face was inches from yours. you could so easily lift your head and kiss him.

“come back to my apartment with me.” he whispered.

“why would i do that?” you replied, feeling the pace of your breath quicken due to the close proximity.

“because you miss me.” the corner of his mouth upturned into a cocky smirk. “and i miss you.”

you were speechless. all you could do was stare into his eyes, trying to decipher whether or not those words had actually just left his mouth.

you swallow harshly before speaking, “i’m here with someone else, hamzah. i’m going home with him.”

you try to stand your ground, but god you wanted to give in.

he scrunches his nose and shakes his head as he places his hands on the metal railing behind you, trapping you between his arms.

“but he doesn’t know you like i do.”

before you can respond, you feel his fingers brush your hair away from the side of your neck.

he places his hands on waist as his head falls to your neck, his plump lips hovering above your skin. your head instinctively leans to the side, giving him full access.

“does he know how much you like being kissed right here?” he whispers softly, feeling his lips move on your skin as he speaks.

he presses his lips to place where your neck and shoulder meet, remembering how much this spot had an effect on you.

you shut your eyes in utter satisfaction. you hated how much of an effect he had on you.

you bring your hands to his neck, then weaving your fingers through his curls as he continues kissing, sucking, and nipping at the sweet spots on your neck.

his hands float down, gripping onto your hips- another minuscule touch that he knew drove you crazy.

with his hands on your hips, he pulls your bodies closer. suddenly, the thought of matthew has completely vanished. you’re completely caught up in hamzah, and it felt so good- indulging in his recognizable scent and familiar touch.

you let out a soft moan as his hand falls to your ass, grabbing it shamelessly.

“hamzah, hamzah— i can’t, we can’t do this.” you say breathlessly, using your hand to tap on his chest.

hamzah steps back, his breath unsteady as watches you carefully, his gaze lingering on your lips. for a moment, you think he isn’t going to say anything— that he was just going to turn around and walk away.

but then he leans, his voice low “meet me outside in five.” his tone carrying both a question and a promise.

you feel a rush of nerves as he walks away, opening the sliding glass door and slipping back into the crowd.

you stay out there for a moment, catching your breath.

you shouldn’t go. you know you shouldn’t.

but you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he looked at you.

part 2: with you all night

a/n: yuppppp part two coming very very soon and it’s gonna pick up right where this leaves off. sorry if this is long and boring, tbh i just needed something to distract myself from everything going on lol…k bye muah

#hamzahthefantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah x y/n #hamzah imagines #hamzah x reader #hamzah fic #hamzah #Spotify

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crguang · 2 days ago

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violinist kafka x her pianist accompaniment reader, courtesy of my 🎹 anon and @shalomniscient’s beautiful brain <3 we’ve been going crazy over this AU since i received the ask today.

R and kafka are childhood best friends who have been playing together since their respective instructors discovered their potential and made them work together on a piece, very much young prodigies in the making who do nothing but hone their skills with the dream of becoming the best in their field. one day, when they’re around 16 years old, R moves away. this bus ride is the last memory kafka holds of them together and she remembers it viscerally whenever she brings an especially complex composition to life, which eventually becomes the source of her recognition and success. this is a goodbye she only understands once she’s lost them.

607. i miss you.

You held her hand that early evening on the way to the bus stop on the corner street four minutes from the music academy; your pinky finger loosely looped with hers and in the chill of February, she could feel the rough material of your knitted glove against her own, the one gifted to you by an aunt she doesn’t remember the name of. Fingertips linked like an implicit promise, she spared you a questioning glance at the unusual gesture and you avoided her gaze, making a show of scrolling through a playlist on your MP3 player with your free hand. She thinks of it as holding hands now, because despite your palms not touching at the time, your bodies were connected through that fragile bridge between your fingers and your hands swayed in the air with your unhurried steps. Each of her exhales were made visible by the cold while you kept yours within the confines of the scarf around your neck, you always despised the drop in temperature. Even with the bottom half of your head hidden by the soft fabric, she could read the reservation on the lines of your face. You were keeping something in and it was obvious to her who had known you since that Wednesday you sat in her every-day rehearsal room, patiently waiting with her violin instructor and a faraway look in your eyes. Back then, it had been eight years. Perhaps that isn’t accurate, she has known you a total of eight years up to the present day. That is the only constant between you, whoever you are today she does not know.

Kafka chuckles lowly to herself, a self-deprecating sound. After all this time, she still needs this moment of reminiscence before she dares put the bow to her violin’s sacred strings. If this is what puts her in the state of mind necessary to perform this composition flawlessly, so be it. She inhales long and slow, then exhales quietly through her mouth. She raises her right hand and in one controlled motion, slides the bow over the first note of her instrument.

The 607 bus was half empty when you stepped on it first. You paid the bus fare and she followed you to the back after doing the same. You took the seat next to a window tainted with water streaks and silently took the violin case from her hands to lay part of it on your thigh, the other half rested on her leg the entire ride home, its small weight shared like the rest of your burdens. She took the earphone you handed her and pressed a little closer to you to see what you were showing her on your MP3. The bus started moving a second later.

“I don’t want something too loud this time,” you said, scrolling down the music app where you’d created playlists for each other a year prior.

“Lame.”

“You chose the playlist yesterday, you don’t get to complain. This one is nice.”

You pressed play on a slow song and lifted your head to meet her eyes expectantly as the first melodies reached her ear. She conceded with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. You smiled, a soft edge to it, and didn’t tear your gaze from hers for a moment that Kafka now wonders if it lasted seconds or minutes. You looked into her eyes, searching for something she didn’t have the guts to confess, and she looked back at you with the words on her lips. They were often there, sitting just past her lips like they’d fly out of her mouth the instant she opened it, but she found that they were anchored to her tongue and had no plan to leave the warmth of their comfort zone. Her eyebrows twitched in question for the second time that hour, an unsure smile on her face in response to your stare.

“What?”

Her attempt to glimpse into your mind broke the suspended moment. You shook your head somewhat ruefully.

“Nothing.”

You lowered your MP3 and followed the movement with your eyes, avoiding hers once again. She could see something brewing inside of you since that morning, guilt you couldn’t admit to her, maybe, but she didn’t push thinking you would speak up eventually. Instead, she playfully nudged your side with an elbow.

“Practice used up your last brain cells or what?”

“Ha, ha. Like you weren’t the one struggling to keep up with the tempo.”

“Try again, maybe the next lie will be more convincing.”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot Kafka The Prodigy could never make a mistake, ever. I’m only the accompaniment, what would I know?”

“That’s more like it.”

You lifted your eyes to the sky, but the smile that replaced the weird one you were previously giving her was much more brilliant. You glanced at her, then turned your head to the window. An older couple were quietly chatting to themselves a few rows to the left in front of you, their heads leaning against each other, and she spent a minute looking at them while the next song played in your earphones. With the music, it was impossible to catch what one was saying to the other, but that didn’t matter. Their bodies were pressed together like yours with hers, as if huddling for warmth, and the woman was talking with her hands the way you would when you were passionate about a new album you just discovered. She didn’t notice it then, that she was looking for you in others even as you sat next to her. Her world was so small; you and music, music and you, and those hours where the two were one and the same.

To this day, you are the music she plays. Your harmonious smiles and dulcet voice, they are all within the melodies she borrows from other composers and in a sense, you are always on stage next to her during a performance. In the practice room, Kafka furrows her brows. She feels it mounting in her, that feeling that makes her great, akin to a pulsing heart ascending to her throat until it lodges itself between her vocal chords and she lets the violin speak for her. The climax approaches steadily, she knows that part like the back of her hand.

She lost interest in the talking couple. You were still looking outside the window at the swaying tree branches and passing cars, and she wondered what was so interesting out there that you couldn’t look at her. She watched your eyelids droop, though you stayed awake and kept staring at the world beyond the two of you. The song in her ear had a bass that followed her heartbeat. It wasn't sad, but you were. Streetlights had come on to balance out the rapidly vanishing sunlight and each one illuminated your features in fleeting rays of yellow, your eyes were hazy and your lips no longer smiling for her, and strands of hair brushed your temple whenever you adjusted your head on the glass. She followed the smooth lines of your brows down to the bridge of your nose, then to the curve of your upper lip. On her lap, her fingers twitched and curled into a loose fist. Her gaze went unnoticed, you were entirely enticed by the world beyond her reach and she was enthralled by the sadness on your face that added years to your current age of merely sixteen. You knew something she didn’t, she was sure of it, but no sound came out of her mouth after she parted her lips to ask. You swallowed, and her eyes flitted to the lump in your throat before settling back on your fluttering lashes. She suddenly perceived a distance between you that made her deeply uncomfortable and that feeling sat on her chest until your bus stop approached and you finally straightened up to look back at her. You smiled weakly, and Kafka spent years regretting not saying anything as you hesitantly patted her closed fist and placed the violin case on her thighs so you could prepare to stand, ringing the bell to announce your stop. She searched your eyes and found nothing but apologies.

“Playing with you makes me so happy,” you said out of the blue, holding up her stare intently. “You’re really great.”

“I know,” she replied lamely, half-jokingly, “but I like hearing you say it.”

You let out a quiet laugh, the sound weak and breathless. It made her smile nonetheless.

“You’re gonna be so great, and I’m gonna be great, and we’re gonna be great together. We’ll perform on stage just like we talked about, and in ten years, we’ll be the best in our field.”

“It’ll take me less than ten years. But I’ll wait for you to catch up.”

You gazed at her for the half minute it took for the bus to pull over, searing her playful cockiness into your mind, then you stood and she moved her legs out of the way for you to reach the aisle.

“Bye, Kafka.”

“See you M…” Her goodbye was interrupted by the soft press of your lips on her cheek, a quick gesture before you rapidly turned away from her and walked out of the bus. “...Monday,” she muttered in confusion.

She turned to the window as the bus started up again and you waved at her with enthusiasm that felt out of place. Still, she made a disgusted face that made you smile wider, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue like she was going to puke from the uncharacteristic display of affection. Your figure got smaller and smaller, and she lifted a hand to her cheek to wipe the skin where your lips had been.

The piece is coming to an end. The hardest part has passed and all that is left is a clean finish that Kafka executes perfectly. The final note rings out in the empty room. Her head hangs low for a moment, eyes shut and exhaling slowly through her mouth. She is great and she’ll perform on stage in two weeks. She is not the best, not yet, she’s missing the soothing notes of piano keys to accompany her violin. Kafka chuckles to herself, the irony of this thought is laughable. She smiles, raises her head, and starts the piece from the top.

#kafka x reader #honkai star rail #hsr x reader

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manticore-fangs · 2 days ago

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reading the baby sitter fic and seeing you add the thought of schlatt fucking a fleshlight makes me want a fanfic of it😢😢!!! cause i can definitely see it!!

holy fuck.. dont get me fucking started im gonna start creaming my pants right fucking now.

cw: mentions of a threesome, fleshlight use, mentions of getting caught masturbating, mentions of breeding

schlatt gripped the fleshlight between his hands while he laid on his back, his cock thrusting up into the fake pussy. lube coating his cock as he groans, imagining the sight of you jumping on his cock and riding him.

"h-holy fuck toots, feels s'fuckin' good- yeah, keep riding me like that. fuck." his eyes are clenched shut and his thick cock aches every time he thrusts up, it hurts when you aren't here.

he ran a hand through his hair as he kept his left hand firmly gripping the fleshlight, he bent his knees up; firmly setting his feet down into the covers.

he let out small whimpers, his mind racing through the scenarios he could put you through. maybe you'd let him breed you with his kids, or maybe even have charlie or ted come over and they can both fuck the living shit out of you, the thoughts just go crazy.

the grip on the fake pussy grew tighter as he gained closer to his orgasm, feeling something building up as he started throwing his head back. his eyes practically rolled back from the pleasure.

he kept fucking up into the pussy, needing to feel the walls. even though he wished he could feel you clenching down onto him like you always would, fuck- he imagined the first time you caught him masturbating.

he rolls through the scene, remembering that you caught him fucking his fist while eyeing at the video that played in front of him while he looked at photos of you.

it makes him incredibly hard that you bought this fleshlight for him when your gone, though it doesn't compete. your pussy is much better than this fake bullshit, but he'd rather have this than his rough palm.

"shit doll- could breed you, yeah- fuck, gonna fill ya' with my fuckin' brats, shit- fill you up with my stupid fuckin' brats holy fuck." he blanks out and shudders.

after a few more thrusts he finally came with a moan, letting out some raspy breaths. his chest raised and fell with each passing breath, he laid there while his dick softened in the pussy as he finally decided to get up and clean himself.

after a few seconds, he heard creaking come from outside his door and looked up, though he didn't see a shadow. huh. must've been jambo.

#jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #schlatt #jschlatt #schlatt x reader smut #schlatt smut #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt smut #jschlatt fanfic #schlatt fanfic #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x reader smut #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #chuckle sandwich x reader

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missmarveledsblog · 2 days ago

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A little something unexpected (Jake Seresin x Reader)

Summary: a routine shopping trip leads to something something unexpected for a certain blonde aviator .

warning: fluffy , goofy , jakes new to the simp life but hes not complaining . not proof read ( Soz )

( just realised i haven't done any hangman oneshots so here's one)

In the unknown of life it can throw curveballs , unexpected courses throughout life that test whether you go through with it or not . Like talking to a stranger in a bar , crossing the road at the wrong or right time , changing plans at the last minute, all things not expected but can cause a big or little outcome . Jake Seresin didn’t realize such an occasion was going to happen as he was grocery shopping one sunday morning. He didn’t know he was going to be changed in such a way it would alter his life in such a way . He was going aisle to aisle getting and checking off his list , he may have shot a few smiles and winks at the women he passed getting his various produce and products . It was normal , part of his Sundays since he’s been stationed permanently in San Diego . turning corner as a women check him out shamelessly but it was his favorite kind , then again he like whether they took charge or not once they left the next morning. He was a hound dog , not yet ready to settle down just wasn’t in the cards for him and he was more than ok with that . he wasn’t looking for love or so he thought then he look up saw a scene before him , she was beautiful , stunning and everything he didn’t know was real only in some sort of movie or magazine . their was a familiar feeling to the woman he was looking at , maybe she was famous seen her in some movie at some point in life. But she was standing crossed arms looking completely unamused at the man before her , some sap trying to put the moves on ,jake thought or couples quarrel .

“ come on stop playing hard to get “ the man almost whine same time as jake rolled his eyes , she did the same.

“ i ain’t interested so why don’t you get on stop bugging me “ she huffed walking off or least trying to until the man grabbed her arm that when jake stood taller , chest out ready to intervene help the pretty lady out . he was hound dog in the sense he slept around but he never would pressure or alone put his hands on a woman . Ready to intervene and save the day but before he could even step forward she grab the man quickly having him now pressed up against the shelf hand twisted behind his back before jake could even speak .

“ let go of me you crazy bitch “ he squealed trying to get out of her grasp whole thing was amusing granted she was tiny compared to both him and the man she had in her hold .

“ don’t grab strangers or they grab back now i’ll let you go and you’ll be on your way or i can hold you til the cops come sugar it’s all up to you “ she smiled sweetly .

“ first one “ the man pained out almost whisper as she did just that and watched him walking off slightly impressed with the outcome til she realised she had an audience one a little old lady and another was a face she didn’t think she would see ever again .

“ well done you show him “ the little old lady almost cheered before heading off .

“ jake seresin ?” she called making him freeze .

“ you know me ?” he asked confused she was familiar but not in the known familiarity sort of sense of things , cluing to scramble every inch of his brain to think of how he knew her , was she past flame but then again if he did go there he would remember her definitely.

“ it’s y/n “ she laughed suddenly more closer and everything clicking into place , she was his best friend back homes little sister although she wasn’t little anymore. The former wildchild who wore baggy clothes getting trouble constantly of her escapades infairness jake barely saw her , she was either up in her room , sneaking out or out causing trouble. She was always pretty but it was always an off limits sort of thing plus she was never interested in her brother or his friends jake was one of em .

“ well trouble what hell you doing here” he smirked .

“ was trying to shop you know it’s a grocery store” .

“ funny i mean san diego smart ass” he shook his head.

“ well lets walk and talk big guy i ain’t causing a traffic jam “she walked. “ to answer you question i moved her last year for work , i am now a nurse more specifically an ER nurse where all the action is , i’m guessing your stationed here ?” she asked .

“ sure am ma’am , can’t believe your a nurse though?” he chuckled .

“ should seen my mama’s face when i told her i wanted to be one she thought i’d finally lost it but hell no one expected me pull it off except my big brother mikey he always believes in me “ she smiled .

“ hows big mike now haven’t talked to him since in a couple years, i know he married i missed the wedding because i was deployed”.

“ he’s got like five little one like she just kept going one after another “ she shook her head amusement filled her tone. “ but he loves dad life and he’s deputy on the force badge and all “ .

It was so natural to fall into the conversation with her , more easier than anyone he’s met , reminiscing over the past and filling in the gaps and present to the point he felt a little disappointed when they were heading out the store , swapping number did help stop the disappointment , knowing the conversation could still continue. It was strange to say the least a normal routine moment leading to more as they parted ways . still there was something there , something he couldn’t place his finger on that was lingering after she left but he knew he had to see her again that was for certain . heading home and yet she was all that he could think about , even stepping out and heading into his house, usually waving over a scantily clad housewife across housewife but he completely ignored her presence as he headed into his house .

It would be weeks before he would see her again giving her busy schedule and his own the meet up was something very hard to maintain yet still keeping in contact he felt like teenager waiting for his crush to respond was that what this feeling was . Standing at the dart board ready to take rooster money once more even he was starting to feel sorry but hey he asked for the rematch. He wasn’t paying attention to the bell ringing above the door , it was when he started hearing the low whistles .

“ christ on a bike “ was all he heard from the hawaiian shirt wearing man following who suddenly wasn’t caring about the money he was losing , his gaze set completely else where only for jake to follow . He stopped in his track , he himself was less caring of taking his fellow aviators money . She stood out , of course her friend were pretty good looking women but shit she was breathtaking , she took his breath away that was for sure. The little black dress , boots and leather jacket all simple pieces of clothing and yet on her looked like she was ready for a run way or glamorous photo shoot . he watched the way her head fell back laughing at whatever her friends where talking about .It like she could sense his eyes , her connecting and smile bright on her face as she mouth a hi and little wiggle of her fingers in a wave . his throat was dry but hell his mouth was watering .

“ shit they have to be lost” was all rooster said as he made his way to the bar offering his services to the ladies if needed . another new thing was the way his jaw clenched when roosters hand extended to her , the flirty grin and whatever he was saying had her laughing away. Jealousy wasn’t a new feeling for jake, he was man enough to admit it ( to himself and never out loud ) . But he was never jealous of a women attention , usually he would just move on or get her attention his way . but now he watching his friend and a face from his past that he couldn’t shake like she permanently inserted herself into his brain . then they were coming over , men watching the group of girl sauntering over to the familiar spot that was occupied by the famous dagger squad . he watched as rooster introduced each of the girls to his friend .

“ i know hangman , we go way back “ her voice god it beat any melody of his favorite songs .

“ that we do darling “ he flashed flirty grin of his own.

“ we grew up in the same town actually him and my big brother were best friends at one stage “ she explained to the perplexed face of her own friends and his .

“ oh so was jake always well this or was he awkward secret nerd before .. please tell me he was a pip squeak who couldn’t get lad “ nat perked up .

“ nah he and my brother were ladies men , completely the star of everyone’s eyes including the women of our town “she rolled her eyes as he had a beaming smile .

“ i can see why he and you brother total heart throb material “ her friend mia purred and yet it was easy she was already showing the blonde the go but his eyes were solely fix on y/n . the whole night he was following her every word it was like she was the only woman in the bar and in his eyes she was . even his friends were a little shocked at the behavior of their friend . her friends gave up on pursuing the man well most of them did mia on the other hand seemed to be determined to get the blonde eye shedding layers pulling her dress up a little more show off her legs or down to show cleavage and t was getting anyone but jake seresins . she giggled louder and talked more lewdly the dagger squad stood confused , while y/n friends looked slightly embarrassed what they didn’t know was the seemly secret need to be better than y/n , mia goal to be the one who performed better , got everything that y/n wanted , she wasn’t a friend not really . not that y/n cared it or took notice it was really one sided , she was happy with her life , a job although stressful but worth it she enjoyed it most parts but came with hard times . she had boyfriends but never stayed around something never clicked not like it did with jake seresin which well was strange . not in sense she didn’t find he wasn’t attractive because even knew it , it was more they were such different people back then probably now too. Texting was fun , catching up was best. Someone from home here in san diego was something they both could enjoy.

The night was going well other than the glares from her so called friend but other than that she and her other friends were having a great time she found them great bunch of people even being invited to other nights out if she was available . she hopped of the seat headed to the seat jake was at the bar getting more drinks while she was standing at juke box punching in the keys two heading to the group at same time as slow ride because booming throughout the speakers. Every single one of the dagger squad huffing and sighing.

“ really bag man” nat groaned rubbing her temples .

“ hey this good song but this time , it wasn’t me i was at the bar” he chuckled raising his drink in one hand and handing y/n a bottle of beer .

“ actually this ones on me , it’s one of my favorite songs “ she winced .

“ yeah totally good song” mia cheered.

“ you told her turn it off earlier “ clara , one of y/n arched her brow.

“ actually yeah you said you hated it” emma snorted .

“ she only likes it because blondey , does even though blondey isn’t haven’t having a bar of her” izzy scoffed starting to get annoyed a pick me mia . “ probably because y/n likes him is why she wants him “ she let slip .

“ not true at all “ mia whined .

“ yeah it is , why you come you don’t even like us or y/n “ izzy probed .

“ i like you guys , where is this coming from … not my fault y/n boyfriend came on to me that time “ she shook her head .

“ wait what ??” y/n face fell .

“ what it was just one time or two .. maybe it was three relax it meant nothing plus you dumped him so like chill , come on you get everything let me have that and stop hogging his attention “ mia whined completely like she had done nothing wrong.

“ she aint hogging my attention actually in fact i’m hogging hers hope you girls don’t mind i’m gonna steal her to “ he looked to the others who couldn’t help have shit eating grin.

“ enjoy “ izzy smirked waving as jake pulled her hand waving to penny a silent he would pay his tab next day. She on other hand was quiet not the usual way she was before trying to think back and it all clicking . she heard the bell ring and a yell of mia screaming “ come on “ as jake looked to see the woman pouting pulling her phone off the bar and round of cheers, an instant karma not to the point it really measures but hey it was a start .

He brought her down the beach still some light of the bar illuminating in a sense but not too much it disturbed the beauty of the night . how the moonlight reflected on the ocean , the sound of waves crashing such calm compared to the storm that was nearly brewing in the hard deck . He realized the fact he was still holding her hand only this time her fingers where intertwined with his and he could stop thinking how perfect they fit like two pieces of a puzzle . they didn’t talk , like the unspoken words spoke volumes enjoying the silence and each others company til she shivered once more then wordlessly he lead them off the beach towards his truck . unlocking it opening the passenger side as she hoped in , all not a word spoken from their mouths but the eyes told each other everything. All that was running through jakes mind was how perfect she fit in his life in different ways , like how perfect she was sat in his truck . taking the hoodie from the backseat handing it to her a whisper of “ thanks “ spilling from her lips . this was new this was something he hadn’t experience in a long time . the drive was different somehow but it was almost routine. Driving pretty girl home but this wasn’t just any pretty girl it was y/n . She was different , everything about his feelings were different to what he was used to. The fact he like seeing her in his clothes or at his side. Pulling up to her house he didn’t want it to end not the night , not her company , it all .

“ you wanna come in for a drink or coffee” seemly she was feeling the same the long forgotten drama of a jealous friend to the fact she was solely in trance from the blonde aviator that sat beside her.

“ yeah i’d like that “ he smiled hoping out of the car jogging to her side and holding his hand out to help her out of the car . once more fingers intertwined walking up toward the house , something even in the exterior felt homely , flowers that sat perfectly around the deck in a weird sense reminded him of home in texas , she opened the door throwing her keys in the bowl her hand still in his only for jake to puller her spinning her into his arms , a yelp and giggle spilling from her lips man he loved that sound , tipping her face up with his free hands leaning down so close he could hear her breathe hitch , he could feel how close it was all he had to do was do it , just move that little bit that would connect his lips to her plump pillow soft lips . the nervous feeling in his was definitely new one , had him frozen almost looking into her eyes watching him closely only to be the one to be the one to take that step , that one push that had her lips on his. Instantly the nervous feelings gone his hand gone straight to her hair pulling her closer if it was possible . never had he felt a kiss like it , one that had him lost , one that had him addicted just one touch like it was his sole source of living . her lips perfect against his , her hand on his chest sliding up and around his head , her own tilting for new angle to deepen the kiss . the way his tongue dance with her own , tasting each other like it was only thing in the world even the need for air wasn’t a thought when the two so lost in each other . until it was pulling back both breathlessly looking at the other , the smile appearing on their faces . lifting her up he could feel the vibration of her laugh matching his own giving directions around the house in between pecks and sensual kisses , nothing was rushed . nothing was pushed and exceeded his own need , no jake wanted to take his time , he wanted to burn this moment into his memory . the feeling of her in his arms still swallowed by his hoody or the feeling of her soft skin on her legs on the palm of his hands . her taste , the way she was looking at him it was all something that he didn’t want to stop not ever .

That moment of confusion when he began to stir , the scent of somewhere else , the feel of somewhere else . eyes cracking open to see the morning sun settling in the room , turning to find the bed empty . brows scrunched together as rubbed the sleep out of his eyes til he could hear the muffled voice coming from behind the door . a smirk on his lips as he got out of bed grabbing his underwear , his shirt somewhere missing could find it later . following the sound of the voice , taking in her home something that was missed the night previous the way it felt cozy , the way it felt like home laced in the wall . how he could picture himself coming home from a long day and just something simple as sitting with her wrapped in his arms eating take out .

“ is that jake seresin “ a voice called as he walked into the kitchen , a familiar voice one he’s spent his whole childhood until he went to the naval academy .

“ hey mikey “ he wince not realizing he just interrupted a family facetime while in his underwear .

“ it is hey y’all catch up while i finish this “ she smirked , amused at his reaction or how heated his cheeks where.

“ hey Mikey , how are you man “ he winced walking closer taking her phone in his hands so he wasn’t exposing much of himself to his childhood friend while standing in said friend little sisters kitchen .

“ breakfast will be awhile sit “ she called not looking at him but he could tell she was fighting the urge to laugh .

“ he’s the guy ?” mikey called.

“ he’s the guy now catch up “ she called back .

“ hurt her and law be on your ass seresin . but other than that how you been man hows the navy “ her brother said easily even making her look at her phone with a look of “ what the fuck” written on her face.

“ good man permanently stationed here , deployments aren't as long and get to teach the future aviators how its done “ he chuckled .

Wasn’t long til the bestfriend chatting up a storm jake was barely paying attention though his missing shirt that almost swallowed her whole as she moved around kitchen making him breakfast shit this wasn’t helping his fantasies it was only feeding them , when she came over plates in her hand place them on table and heading back to get more jake said his goodbyes as she yelled her placing the drinks and condiments on the table only for jake to pull her on to his lap. Kissing her neck and her cheek til she turned her head and kissing his lips , the domestic feel to it all didn’t scare him , it should of but it was y/n , it felt right . her perched on his lap while they ate breakfast . She told him of her lack of plans so she was probably going to chill home for day , so he invited her to the beach . a sort of weekly tradition of going the beach with the dagger squad and friends on base , something she knew of from their text . what she didn’t know this was a first of many things. It was first of him staying over that was rare he usually went home once the deed was done , he was usually home along sitting at his kitchen island , it was also a new thing of him bringing someone with him to the beach , never had he brought a fling but he hoped this wasn’t a fling it was too good to be a fling. Once breakfast was done and he cleaned up much to her telling him to stop falling on deaf ears . they showered , ready and headed to jakes so he could change his clothes knowing he was going to take another shower after beach .

The faces of his friends where priceless except javy and nat the two sense something growing and it was an answer to jake sudden behavior change over the last few weeks. How he was glue to his phone or barely paying attention to the women that batted their lashes at him in hard deck . her hand in his as they got closer only to see her friends there too well two izzy and emma.

“ bob and rooster invited us “ izzy smirked . “ see jake had same idea” .

“ well since there is girls here , lets set up over here and leave the boys to their football “ nat cheered just as y/n went to leave with the girls jake pulled spinning her as she fell into a fit of giggles as jake kissed every part of her face before getting her lips .

“ ok ok come on suck face later”rooster groaned pretending to be repulsed but the smile on his face betrayed him .

“ see ya later honey “ jake winked patting her ass as she shot him a playful glare .

Rushing to her friends to find out what happened when she left to here mia had to pay for a round of drinks and left in an uber alone not long after . the turn in events izzy asked bob for his number which the shy WSO almost thought she was joking , while shy emma gave rooster hers but left the bar alone but all wanting to know what happened with her and jake . she told them it all ( well not all ) . nat couldn’t believe it , all her time knowing jake seresin and hearing this almost husband material man , one of the biggest man sluts of the hard deck being so soft and fluffy . then when she looked to the group of her fellow dagger squad members , the way jake seresin was looking at y/n . Such love and awe in his green eyes it all made sense.

Distracted was the best term to use as he and guys stood , his eyes automatically landed on her , ears picking up her laughter as she sat in the warm sand , talking animatedly about something . it made a bright smile emerge on his face . like it was just here on the beach , she wasn’t even talking to him , or could he hear what she was saying but she had his attention either way .

“ i’ll be damned , never thought i would see the day unless this is some coma , drug induced dream “rooster let out low whistle finally bringing the texan back to the group.

“ what are you talkin bout now bradshaw” jake rolled his eyes.

“ it’s seems a miracle has happened and bag man is in love “ rooster smirked .

He wanted to tell him no , he was wrong that jake seresin and love never even crossed paths and yet he couldn’t . It was all clicking in his head , how it all made sense and this was one of those instances where he could actually agree with rooster. Jake was in love and it wasn’t scaring him like he thought it would shit he was welcoming it , letting it fill his brain and his heart.

“ i think rooster is on to something i think my boy is in love” javy shook jake shoulders side to side playfully.

“ i ain’t denying she something special but if you think ya beating me today bradshaw got another thing coming “ he winked . “ LET'S PLAY SO I CAN BRING MY GIRL ON A DATE” he yelled catching her attention how her wide eyes soften and the coy playful smile on her lips appeared.

“Since when am i your girl seresin” she stood hands on hips .

“ since the moment i saw you in that aisle kicking ass honey lets not deny the obvious here” he smirked walking toward her , not one of them complained the sudden shift of the game change .

“ well kiss your girl and get back to your game cowboy “ she wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her face so softly kissing her soft lips like it was first time and definitely vowed to himself he would be doing it til the last day he had on earth. Ignoring their friends hoots and hollering in the background . nah his girl was his main thought.

Things were unexpected , one little thing could alter and change course of someone's life and in this instance jake seresin was happy with the outcome what was a routine shopping trip because it would lead him to this , to love and even more importantly it would lead him to her .

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sugdenlovesdingle · 3 days ago

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Remember when I said I was going to sleep?

I lied

---

He banged on the door, not bothering with the doorbell or even knocking like a normal person. It had taken him a minute to wrap his head around what Tommy had said, and yes he had let him walk out the door, but damn it the conversation wasn't over.

"Tommy I know you're in there, your car is in the driveway!"

He waited a minute before banging again. Part of him was a little satisfied seeing the stained glass window above the door rattling in its frame.

"Tommy! The least you can do is hear me out!"

He debated going round the back and trying his luck there when the door opened.

Tommy's eyes were red and he looked about as good as Buck felt.

"Ev- Buck... What are you doing here?"

"Don't call me Buck." he pushed past Tommy into the house.

"Everyone calls you Buck."

"You don't. You've never called me that and you know how much that means to me."

Tommy sighed and sat down at his dining table.

"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"Why? So you can just cut me out of your life? Pretend the last six months didn't happen? Is that what you want?"

He was angry and he started pacing up and down Tommy's living room

"No. That is the last thing I want... But I'm a realist."

"No, you're a coward. You got scared and you ran."

Tommy didn't say anything, just stared at his shoes.

"Maybe I am too impulsive, maybe suggesting moving in after 6 months was too much too soon. But I know how I feel. How I feel about you."

"Evan... You came out six months ago. I can't expect you to... Settle for me. There is a whole world out there for you to explore."

"Trust me, I've done plenty of exploring. I told you about the time I spent travelling around, working every job I could find... I didn't always sleep alone during that time. And even when I first started at the 118... I explored plenty."

"Maybe. But not with a man. I can't ask that of you. And... I don't think I can handle saying goodbye to you when you realise you want more from life than me. My heart is breaking now but it would destroy me having to let you go in six months or a year, or maybe even a few years if we're lucky. "

"So you just give up? You decide I'm not worth fighting for? That I don't know that I want forever with you just because I only discovered I'm bi six months ago?"

"That... That's not what I'm saying. Don't you think I want this? Want this with you?"

"Considering you dumped me about two hours ago... I don't know what to think." Buck crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave Tommy an expectant look. "I thought things were good between us."

"They were."

"Then what is the problem?!"

"I got scared ok?! I've been here before, and I don't mean Abby. I was in a serious relationship with a guy and... I was crazy about him. Things were good. So good. I thought it was forever."

Buck sat down on the other side of the table.

"What happened?"

"He... Didn't think we were forever. More like for now." Tommy shook his head. "He... He told me he couldn't be my first and my last. That we both had to see what was out there. He broke my heart."

"But I'm not the same person as your ex." Buck reached across the table, silently asking Tommy to take his hand. "I'm me. I know what I want and I want you. I don't know what the future holds for me and you... But I'd like to find out with you."

"Evan... I want that too but... I have to protect my heart. I mean it. I don't think I could handle losing you if having you in my life for only six months makes me feel like this."

"I'm not going anywhere." Buck told him resolutely. "These past six months have been some of the best of my life. We have fun together. You indulged me with that curse, you're friends with Eddie and Chim, you get the job, you get the lifestyle that comes with it... You get me."

Tommy turned to face him.

"Evan... I... I want to believe this so bad but... I don't know if I can."

"Don't you want to try? Give us both a real shot at happiness?" Buck asked. "I'm usually the one that gets scared and does something stupid... But I can be the sensible and reasonable one out of the two of us if that's what you need."

"You shouldn't have to change for me."

"But I have changed. For the better. You made me feel... Like me."

Tommy shook his head.

"You did that all by yourself."

"Maybe. But you helped. Having you by my side helped. You make me feel secure. You make me happy Tommy."

"You make me happy too." Tommy admitted, finally reaching out and covering Buck's hand with his own.

"Then don't throw this away because you got scared. I promise not to mention moving in together again for at least another six months." Buck joked, happy to get a small laugh from Tommy.

"Ok." Tommy said after a minute. "Ok." he repeated more confidently. "I guess I can be brave if you are."

Buck smiled and bought Tommy's hand to his lips and brushed a kiss over the knuckles.

"I was hoping you'd say that." he got up and rounded the table, stopping in front of Tommy. "Now we missed the movie again... But maybe we can just hang out here and watch something?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'd like that." Tommy said and met him halfway when Buck leaned down to kiss him.

#Bucktommy #I fixed it!#And it is now 7am and I haven't slept yet #Thanks show

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synthetickitsune · 10 hours ago

Text

Full Stomach, Full Heart ✧ w.jh

Pairing: Wen Junhui x reader (gn) Genre: angst, hints of comfort Summary: What was the last thing you ate, actually? Yet better question would be when was the last time you ate a full, nutritious meal. You don’t think you can remember though. And you know Jun will hate to hear it. Word count: 2.2k Warnings: food struggles, mentions of reader not eating properly

You feel something’s wrong within the first hour after waking up. Deeply wrong, but you’re equally deep in denial, so you write it off as a side effect of getting up too early and immediately scrolling on your phone, so you go back to sleep. When you wake up again, you’re not really sure you slept at all. Somehow, though, the time has passed too quickly for you to just be spacing out in bed. You need to get up.

The feeling is still there, a weight on your chest and your mind feels like it’s clouded by a thick fog. Your bones feel heavy. Just standing feels uncomfortable and draining. You get some water and crawl back into bed. A text from your boyfriend is waiting for you, wishing you a good morning and asking if you’ve eaten yet. Your stomach churns at the idea of eating, so you ignore the text in favor of more sleep.

Only sleep just won’t come. Not for long anyway. It’s all brief flashes of unconsciousness that leave you disoriented and tired once you wake up. Switching between unsuccessful attempts of napping and mindless scrolling on your phone, with some spacing out on the side, time passes. You try to make yourself get up again and do something, try to guilt yourself into being productive, all without result. Nothing works, nothing feels right.

You can’t tell what’s wrong exactly, but somehow it feels like everything is. It makes you upset, most of all with yourself. There is nothing that needs to get done, however you can come up with a list of a hundred things that you could get done if only you dragged yourself out of bed. There’s no reason you should be like this, you tell yourself. It is what it is, you tell yourself next and close your eyes again.

Without your permission, time passes. It slips away from you, then forcefully reminds you of its existence when your phone starts to ring.

It’s Jun.

“Hey,” you whisper. You hope he heard over the commotion around him. Suddenly you realize you really hate people today. Staying in bed seems even more appealing. Nobody is going to bother you here.

“Are you alright?” Jun cuts straight to chase. His voice is kind but laced with worry. “You never responded to my text.”

Oh. Shit.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess I am,” you hesitate a little, “Just don’t feel too good.”

You can see the frown on his face when you close your eyes and focus on the brief pause. The background noise, the voices, get distant and quiet. Somewhere on the other end of the line, a door clicks shut.

“‘Not good’ as in…?” he asks and you sigh. Worrying your lip between your teeth, you regret being honest in the first place. Just a little. But then again if you haven’t told him, he’d drive himself crazy with worry and that’s the last thing he needs during practice.

“I just don’t feel much of anything,” you admit, “I’m just really tired. I don’t want to do anything, don’t wanna talk to anyone.”

He hums in sympathy. It makes something warm flicker in your chest. You can imagine the hug he’d give you if he was here - enveloping, like the world doesn’t exist, his hand cradling your head, the other on the small of your back pulling you close with just the perfect amount of force. He’d hold you until something made him let go, and then still kiss you and promise to be right back.

“I’m sorry I called,” he whispers, “I just got worried.”

“No, I don’t mind you,” you reassure him even as every word drains more energy out of your already exhausted body, “You don’t count.”

“Why thank you,” you hear the smile in his voice. It’s natural for you to smile as well without thinking, if only you had the energy too. Regret wells up in your chest, even though Jun won’t know about this little turmoil. “Have you eaten?”

Your heart pauses for a beat. The answer is clear, but what was the last thing you ate, actually? Probably just instant noodles or something like that. Better question would be when was the last time you ate a full, nutritious meal. You don’t think you can remember though. And you know Jun will hate to hear it.

“...no,” you admit quietly. You curl under the blanket. He might get disappointed and worried but he won’t yell at you, you know that, yet it still feels uncomfortable. The silence drags on and leaves you suspended in anxiety. You beg him to talk inside your head, to say anything - to snap at you, anything will do. Just not the silence.

“y/n, it’s so late…” he says and you know he’s not scolding you, that he’s as gentle as he can be, but it still sounds like you’re getting scolded.

“I know,” you murmur, “I’m not hungry though.”

It’s an understatement. The idea of eating itself makes your stomach churn. And maybe it’s hunger in disguise, maybe. Most likely. You know you should eat. Food feels repulsive, though.

“You need to eat,” he insists, quietly, still gentle. You can hear the change in his voice when he adds: “I’ve been busy a lot, huh?”

“Jun…” you shake your head, “It’s not your fault. I need to take care of myself.”

“I want to be there for you when you’re not feeling well,” there’s a moment where his voice gets higher. You can imagine the lightbulb appearing above his head and it makes you slightly concerned. “I’m gonna help.”

“Wait, no-”

“Shh, no arguing,” he shushes you. You can hear his voice get more distant. “I’ll order you some food. A lot of it. So you can choose.”

You whine.

“I don’t wanna see anyone. Please. I promise I’ll eat later, just not now,” you try to change his mind. It’s pointless, you’re well aware that Jun is the most stubborn when your wellbeing is concerned. The silence on the other end of the line, occasionally broken by tapping noises as your boyfriend’s fingers dance across the screen, tells you resistance is hopeless. Still you try.

“I don’t want to go anywhere to pick up the food. I won’t even go downstairs,” you warn him,

“I won’t pick up the phone if anyone calls. I won’t talk to anyone,” you sulk.

“Jun, please forget about it-”

“Will you cook?” he interrupts you, a slight edge to his voice. You shrivel under the blanket.

“No but-”

“Are there any leftovers you can heat up?”

“No, Jun-”

“Don’t ‘no Jun’ me,” he sighs, “I’m gonna figure this out, okay? Don’t worry.”

Before you can ask for an explanation, beg him to let it go, anything, he hangs up. You groan and pull at your hair. It’s pointless to argue with Jun, however, and although you’re frustrated you know you can trust him. So you return to numbly lying on bed.

It’s some time later that you’re woken up - from sleep or daydreaming, you have no idea - by a text. You frown and pick up the phone, already annoyed. Who dares to bother you now?

Joshua: hey i’m downstairs so don’t get creeped out when i come in with the food

Joshua: if you're awake

Joshua: if not - sorry! ><

…what?

You don’t have much time to process what’s happening before you hear the code being put in and the doors opening. You’re tempted to pretend you’re not home but also what the fuck is he doing here? Taking a quick look at Jun’s messy hoodie and sweats you’re wearing, you ultimately decide that it’s not your fault Joshua’s going to see you like this. He came in uninvited. So much for not talking to anyone. You get up and groggily walk out of the room and look for the intruder.

You find him in the kitchen… putting food containers on the table?

“Hey,” he greets you softly with a friendly smile without pausing his actions.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, confusion written all over your face. Your arms are wrapped around your body protectively. Joshua doesn’t even look at you as he meticulously takes everything out of the bag.

“That’s my line. You should be in bed” he chuckles. Finally he looks up and upon seeing you don’t get the situation at all, he shakes his head with a small laugh.

“Jun said you’re not feeling well,” he explains, “So he asked if anyone could bring you food while you rest. Are you okay to eat now or should I put it in the fridge?”

You stop yourself from screaming aloud. And sighing. And hitting your head against the wall.

“Thank you,” you say instead, “It really wasn’t necessary.”

“No problem,” Joshua smiles at you again, “So?”

“I’ll eat in a bit,” you decide, relaxing slightly. You don’t feel like eating if you’re being honest but you also think the nausea starting to kick in is caused by hunger at this point. You should make yourself eat. Somehow.

“Okay. Do you need anything else? Medicine, dessert?” he jokes and you roll your eyes at him even though the target should really be Junhui.

“I’m fine, thank you,” you try to smile at him despite your irritated mood. You make a mental note to thank Joshua again and apologize later because he leaves as quickly as he came. You should also talk to your boyfriend about using his friends as couriers.

Speaking of which…

Your phone rings again the moment you sit down and angrily stab the utensil into the closest container. You really can’t be bothered to use dishes that you’d have to wash later.

You accept the call and put your boyfriend on speaker.

“Hi… Joshua texted me he dropped off the food?” Jun sounds timid, careful almost.

“Yeah, he did,” you play with the food without raising any to your lips, “I hope you paid him.”

“No, but I owe him one,” he chuckles, still tense, “You know how he is.”

You hum. You do. But that still doesn’t mean your boyfriend should take advantage of his friend’s kindness to bring you food when he’s too busy. It’s not like any of them ever have too much time on their hands to be doing this.

“I… I just thought it would be okay this way,” his voice softens, “That you could avoid social interaction but still get the food delivered. I told Shua to leave you alone.”

You hum again. Not that you mind talking to Jun, he’s always the only exception, but you’re tired. And hungry, yet the idea of picking up the food, chewing, swallowing just seems so exhausting.

“I’m sorry,” Jun’s voice drops into a whisper, “But you need to eat.”

“I know,” you murmur, “And thank you. It’s just I really don’t feel like it even though I’m so hungry right now.”

It’s quiet on the other side for a moment, and then you hear him talking away from the phone - asking Soonyoung for a short break. You can’t hear what the response is but the next thing you hear is the door closing and Jun’s fast steps.

“What happened?” you ask, smiling a little as you imagine your boyfriend speeding through the corridors.

“I’ll facetime you in a bit, yeah? We can eat together,” his voice is full of determination and confidence that you don’t share.

“You’re going to eat in the middle of practice?” your eyebrow raises on its own.

“...Yes.”

There’s another slight pause.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Sure,” you chuckle. You still haven’t found the will to take a bite. Sharing a meal with Jun sounds nice, though. It’s highly unlikely it’s actually going to help with the predicament you’re in but the idea really is nice.

“You don’t have to eat much, I won’t either,” he coaxes you softly. You hear more doors opening and closing. Then something that sounds like a fridge and him rummaging around. “Just eat something, yeah?”

“I’ll try,” you promise.

“I’ll turn on the camera now,” Jun warns while he, at least judging by the sound, puts the food in the microwave.

You just admire his pretty face while he waits for the food to warm up and try to push down the nausea. It’s hunger, it must be. But it does nothing to help you feel like eating. Your boyfriend yaps on about his day so far, about the practice, whines a little about how hard the new choreo is. It’s soothing, comforting. Ultimately, though, it doesn’t help much.

New wave of guilt washes over you when he sits down with his food and looks at you hopefully. You need to eat. You really need to. If for no other reason, then at least so that he doesn’t worry and can fully focus on the practice.

Finally you force your hands to move, your lips to open and your jaws to chew the first bite. Jun’s bright smile feels much better than the food you swallow.

“There we go,” he whispers to himself, trying to bite back the smile as he digs into his own lunch. You hear it anyway.

You smile a little too as you fight against your head to share a meal with him.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen x reader #jun x reader #svthub #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #svt angst #svt reactions #svt scenarios #jun angst #junhui angst #junhui x reader #junhui scenatios

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tbyfandoms · 1 day ago

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Birthday Blues | Austin Butler x Reader

Pairing: austin butler x f!reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: noticing her struggle with the loss and memory of her brother on his birthday, austin helps and comforts y/n with the celebration of his special day (requested)

Warnings: mentions of deceased siblings, descriptions of grief

Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: it’s been so long since I’ve updated and I’m so sorry for that. I’ve missed writing so much and hope this is me getting back into my groove. I started this request ages ago but just now finished it. it’s felt so weird rounding out this fic about grief after hearing the news about liam (for any of my fellow directioners) and it’s just crazy to me how so many of the feelings and instances I wrote about in this fic have been a reality lately. I hope you’re all doing well whether you’ve been affected or not, and please remember to keep those you love close and to let them know how much you love them. to the anon who requested this, I hope this fic brings you comfort, thank you so much for requesting <3

Today’s the day. The day you’ve been anxiously awaiting for a while now. Every year it’s the same, it never seems to get easier for you no matter how hard you wish it would.

It’s your brother’s birthday, and it’s been a while since you’ve gotten to celebrate with him in person. He passed away and every year on his birthday you find yourself unable to function properly. Everyone tells you it gets better with time, but you’re still waiting for that to start kicking in.

There are some days where you find yourself so overcome with grief you can’t even find the right words to describe it, and there are other days where for a little while you almost forget he’s not here anymore. You yearn for those days, those days that feel like you’re floating and there’s nothing but calmness surrounding you.

You wish his birthday was one of those tranquil days.

As you move mechanically around the kitchen, doing your normal tasks as you would any other day, you find yourself trying not to fall apart.

Grief is a really funny thing. At times you believe your mourning period has passed and that that part of you that’s now missing has been patched and you’ll be able to handle this day on your own without any consolation. Other times you don’t even know how you’re able to stand up on your own and be expected to continue on. It’s like a balancing act, never knowing which way the scale is going to tip. Calm or devastated. Good or bad.

Pouring yourself something to drink, you think back on all the happy memories with your brother that you can. You know in your heart he wouldn’t want you to be sad today, or any day really. It’s just incredibly hard to not notice his absence, especially on his special day. It’s hard when you miss him so much and want nothing more than to celebrate with him instead of without.

Over the past few days you’ve tried not to focus too much on your brother’s birthday. You’ve kept busy and continued business as usual but you can’t deny the moments of sadness that crept in unannounced. You’ve talked to other family members about it and some of your friends too, a lot of them knowing what this day means to you and how hard it can be. You always keep up a brave face but it’s easier said than done on some days compared to others.

The sound of padded footsteps coming from your right breaks you out of your thoughts. When you turn your head you’re met with the soft smile on your boyfriend’s face. It’s impossible not to reciprocate it. You don’t know a soul on this Earth that’s ever been able to withstand a smile from Austin Butler.

“Hi, baby,” he says as he wraps his arms around you, his warmth and familiar scent immediately settling over you. Your body instantly relaxes against him, comfort beginning to course through your veins.

“Hi, Aus.” It comes out almost like a whisper and you curse yourself for already showing a sign of weakness. You promised yourself last night that you’d try to get through this day on your own, not wanting to distract Austin from any of his work or typical routine. Alas it’s not turning out how you hoped. That’s the thing about grief though, no matter how hard you try, you never do know when it’s going to come creeping back in.

Busying yourself with cleaning up, you ease yourself out of Austin’s grasp. For some reason you feel that if you stay that close to him, it won’t be long before your walls start crumbling down and you’ll both end up wrapped in devastation.

To be fair, you don’t even know if your boyfriend realizes what today is. You know you’ve mentioned it in passing, but with not wanting to make a big deal out of it you never really went into detail. You’ve talked to Austin about your brother before whether it be reminiscing about childhood memories or recalling an inside joke, but you always try to keep that devastation at bay.

The blonde hasn’t said anything about it recently and with his hectic schedule lately, you’re sure it hasn’t even crossed his mind. You’re not hurt by it, if anything you understand and appreciate it. It’s probably best if you handle today alone, in your own way.

A small frown adorns the corner of your lips and you make sure to turn your head so Austin doesn’t notice it. One thing about him is that he’s always able to pick up on your emotions and can tell when something’s wrong. Best plan of action is to just proceed as you normally would. You’re sure the actor has a million and one things to do today, so he should be out the door any minute now and you’ll be able to tackle the day however your head and heart deem fit.

“Are you hungry?” You say as chipper as you can while you start to open up a cabinet, ready to whip up anything your boyfriend would like. “I can make you your favorite or if you have to leave soon I can just make you something to take on the go.”

“No, I’m okay, thank you. I-I’m not working today.” You nearly bash your head into the cabinet door as you hear this. Your boyfriend was practically always working, especially now. So him saying this totally takes you by surprise.

“Why not?” You turn around and face Austin and just based off the look on his face you can tell he remembers what day it is. His eyes are so sincere and you nearly burst into tears because he hasn’t even said anything and yet you know exactly why he isn’t working. Why he most definitely told his manager and whoever else that today specifically was off limits for any meetings or shoots.

“I took the day off. I know I haven’t brought it up lately and you probably thought I forgot, but I know what today is, what it means and how important it is to you. I just wanted to be here with you and to let you know if you need me that I’ll be right here. I won’t let you deal with today on your own, sweetheart.” His tone is soft and he reaches out to caress your cheeks, wiping a tear you hadn’t even realized slipped out in the process.

“Austin I-,” you gulp, emotion rising fast in your throat as you look into his blue eyes and feel the empathy radiating off of him. “You didn’t have to do that. I know how busy you are and I know it must’ve taken a lot to have your day cleared. Really, it’s fine if you want to go to work. I-I can handle it, I’m fine-“

Your voice cracks and in that same moment you feel like part of your heart does as well.

Austin’s hands are tangled in your hair in an instant as he pulls you in close, holding your head against his shoulder as you begin to fall apart in his arms. There it is, one of those grief stricken moments you swore you wouldn’t allow to take over you today. So much for holding it together.

Clearly your boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind though, and for that you’ll be eternally grateful. You let yourself go, let your emotions go, as he whispers affirmations in your ear. Softly shushing you and assuring you that it’s ok to let it all out. It’s almost scary how easy it is for you to do this as well. To let yourself be vulnerable like this. But honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way. If you’re going to fall apart in anyone’s arms, there’s no one better than Austin’s to do it in.

After a while of being wrapped up in the blonde’s arms and after your sobs begin to turn into soft hiccups, you feel collected enough to take a small step back and start to wipe away any remaining tears.

“I’m sorry, Aus,” you whisper, feeling a little bad for just falling apart like this. You know he doesn’t mind, he wouldn’t have taken the day off if he did, but even still.

“Hey, hey, hey, do not apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Austin reaches out and swipes his thumbs underneath your eyes, collecting tears that haven’t yet fallen. “I’m here for you, and if that means being a human tissue for the day then I’m fine with that.”

A small laugh bubbles out of your throat and the sound makes Austin smile. He loves your laugh and he’d do anything to hear it, especially on a day like this.

“I hope you know how much I appreciate you. I know you’re no stranger to grief when losing a loved one, but I still appreciate you taking this in stride and just being there for me. This day it’s-it’s-,” your breath catches in your throat, but you clear it, not wanting your emotions to take over again. “It’s hard, but you certainly make it a lot less difficult to deal with and for that I’m grateful.”

“Of course, baby. I’m here for you, always. When you lose someone you love, it’s difficult enough to deal with, yet alone trying to deal with it on your own. I promise you I’ll always be here for you on this day and every other one you may need me for as long as you’ll have me.”

A small smile breaks out on your lips and you don’t know a better response than wrapping your arms around Austin and squeezing him with all the love and appreciation you can muster. You can’t even imagine a day without him. You’ll have him forever if you’re able to.

Once the two of you break apart you watch as Austin begins to say something, but then appears to hesitate. His eyes meet yours and you start to wonder what it is he wants to say to you.

“Now I don’t ever want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, but over the past couple days I’ve been thinking about what we could do to celebrate your brother today. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to take you somewhere.” The blonde takes a breath and then reaches for your hand, squeezing once before continuing. “You trust me, right?”

You’ve never felt more sure of anything than you do right now in this moment when you say, “Yes, with my whole heart.”

Your boyfriend smiles and you feel your stomach flutter with both gratitude and anticipation for what he has planned. No matter where it is he ends up taking you, you know with one hundred percent certainty that he’s doing it because he loves you and cares for you in a way you never even thought possible. That fact alone is what carries you out of that kitchen and through the front door.

*****

When Austin pulls the car into the parking lot of the flower shop connected to the cemetery your brother is buried in, you feel your heart begin to swell.

On the drive over, you began to brainstorm ideas of where it is your boyfriend was taking you. There was a small part of you that hoped he wasn’t driving you to some restaurant or your family’s house to try and take your mind off today, but that he was taking you right to this very place. In your mind, there’s no better way to celebrate and remember your brother than celebrating with him as much as you’re physically able to.

Not a lot of people find comfort in visiting a grave in a cemetery, but it’s one of the only ways you’re able to feel some sort of closeness to your brother. He might not be visible to you, but there’s something about sitting there and just talking out loud to him that allows you to feel some semblance of peace.

“Now I know everyone feels differently when it comes to visiting graves and doing stuff like this. So if you’re at all uncomfortable being here, you just let me know and I’ll turn this car around, we’ll go right back home, and I’ll apologize for the rest of my life for ever crossing any boundaries with you.”

A breathy laughs escapes you and you shake your head as you reach out and hold Austin’s hand in yours. “No, this is perfect. I very much appreciate you even thinking of doing this. I haven’t been able to come out here in a while, especially not alone, so I’m grateful you brought me here and that you’re willing to be by my side during it.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smiles.

Austin turns off the car and the two of you make your way inside, the smell of fresh flowers instantly hitting your nose and you breath in deeply, wanting to hold onto it. It’s crazy to think there could be something so beautiful and alive surrounded by a place so sorrowful and morbid. Somehow, you think there’s something poetic to be found in that.

Both you and Austin wander around the shop for a while, taking in all the gorgeous arrangements decorated specifically for different types of family members. You see plaques for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and then finally siblings. It hurts your heart to know people lose their loved ones in a blink of an eye every day. No one is safe from the horrors and unfairness of the world, but you wish with everything you’ve got that they were.

You wish nearly every day that your brother had been.

As you walk further down the aisle, you find yourself getting stopped by a bouquet. It stands out from the others, it’s almost as if the colors and arrangement of it were calling out to you. One look at it and you know instantly it’s the one you’d like to get for your brother.

“Aus, this one’s perfect,” you say softly, stopping your boyfriend in his tracks. He looks over at it and smiles fondly. He thinks it’s perfect almost as much as you do.

Austin instantly grabs it and the two of you walk over to the checkout counter. You reach into your purse so you can grab your wallet, but the actor holds his hand out and shakes his head. “Let me, for his birthday.”

Tears immediately spring to your eyes at the sentiment and all you’re able to do in response is nod your head slightly and give Austin a wobbly smile. You don’t know why you’re so surprised over all of this. This is who Austin is, it’s who he always has been, and it’s who he always will be.

*****

The gravel road that winds every which way through the cemetery causes the car to shake just slightly as Austin follows your instructions to get to your brother’s grave. You’re not entirely convinced that’s the sole reason your stomach starts to knot though.

Even though it’s been a while since you’ve visited this place, the moment Austin pulled up to the gates it was like you were here just yesterday. The landmarks are all too familiar, the shapes of other people’s headstones, and the view of other grieving families scattered around bring everything back instantly.

As you look around and tell Austin to pull over to the right up ahead, you start to feel a little lightheaded. In your mind you can see the day you buried your brother so vividly. You can hear the sniffles of family and friends and feel the slight breeze in the air as he was lowered into the ground.

Even though you appreciate being able to still somewhat spend time with your brother here, it does make it all seem so much more real. When you don’t come and visit, sometimes you’re able to pretend that he’s still here, still alive. But the minute you see that headstone, you’re reminded that he’s not, and it gets harder to shake the sadness.

Austin puts the car in park and you both sit in silence for a moment. He watches you look out the window, knowing all too well the emotions running through you right now. He gives you a minute more before speaking up.

“Do you want me to wait in the car or is it okay to come with you?” His deep voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you blink several times before looking over at him.

“No, come with me, please? I-I want you there.” Austin nods his head and exits the car, coming over to the passenger side and helping you out of the car as you hold onto your brother’s bouquet.

Grass crunches under your shoes as you walk the few feet to your brother’s grave, and a soft gasp passes through your lips as you come face to face with the headstone that’s seared itself into your mind forever.

Kneeling down, you brush off the small bits of leaves and grass that’ve taken residence on the light gray stone. Your fingers trace over the letters imprinted within it and with each passing letter you feel your heart squeeze inside your chest.

It’s so unfair how life can change so drastically in an instant. You remember the last conversation you had with your brother and you wish you would’ve known that would be the last time you spoke to him. You would’ve said more, would’ve memorized more about his voice and the way he laughed. You would’ve held on to anything and everything you could if it meant keeping even one more tiny thing of him close to you.

Lifting up the bouquet in front of you, you make sure everything in it looks perfect before placing it by the headstone and then standing back up by your boyfriend. The flowers look beautiful and you hate that you can’t physically give them to your brother on his special day. You just hope he’s somewhere looking down at you and seeing how loved he still is. How he’ll always be celebrated.

Suddenly, you feel Austin softly place his hand on your lower back and begin to rub circles on it. This is something he often does when he can tell you’re sad or getting overwhelmed and just need some sort of comfort. It always helps calm you down and you appreciate Austin doing it in this moment.

Austin truly cares so much for you and it blows your mind every single day how lucky you are to have someone like him in your life. Everything from the grand gestures to the smallest little things he does for you, you find yourself being so grateful for it all. He’s such a wonderful guy and you smile thinking about how well he would’ve gotten along with your brother.

You know instantly your brother would’ve adored him. He’d definitely try to play the protective brother card and give off the impression he’d never approve, but in your heart you know Austin would’ve had him wrapped around his finger, much like how he has you. You could see them hanging out and watching sports together, talking about music and films, and overall finding such a genuine friendship within each other.

The thought brings a smile to your face and you let out a small laugh thinking about all the chaos they’d get up to together.

Austin notices and his own curious smile adorns his lips as he wonders what you could possibly be thinking about. “What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I know you never got to meet him,” you start, a small tear trailing down your cheek as you take your eyes off the headstone in front of you and look towards your boyfriend. “But he’d really like you.”

A small puff of air leaves Austin as he takes in your words. In an instant he has you wrapped in his arms and his lips pressed against your forehead. “Oh, baby. I wish with all my heart I could’ve met him.”

You nod your head silently against him, knowing with everything you’ve got that he genuinely means it.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Aus,” you whisper, your words a soft rumble against the blonde’s chest. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I appreciate it so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me, but you’re welcome. I’d do practically anything for you—especially this—and especially today.”

You know Austin’s unfortunately no stranger to grief. He knows the pain of losing a loved one just as much as you do and you think it’s so kind of him to do all of this with you when you know it probably puts him back in his own memories of loss. The thought alone makes you squeeze him a little harder and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I love you, Austin.”

“I love you too,” he smiles. “Y’know if you wanna do this every year for your brother’s birthday, we definitely can. If you want to, that is. I know it’ll never change the fact he’s no longer with us, but maybe celebrating him like this and coming to leave some flowers at his grave every year can help you feel a little bit closer to him in a way.”

“Yeah, I’d really love that. I think he would too.” You smile up at your boyfriend and take in his thoughtful proposition. You’d love to come visit your brother’s grave like this for his birthday every year. Like Austin said, it’ll never change the fact he’s not here with you anymore, but at least it gives you something to hold onto. It gives you something to keep your brother just a little bit closer to you, and you’d do anything to make that happen.

“It’s a deal then,” Austin says before leaning down and kissing you on the forehead. After pulling away he crouches down and plants himself on the grass. “C’mon, no more birthday blues. Let’s sit for a while. I’d love for you to tell me more about your brother.”

Your heart soars at his interest. Most people would want to flee this situation. Get as far away from a place like this and ignore the fact someone’s passed on completely. Not Austin. He faces it head first. He knows it’s hard, but he also knows it can be healing to do and it can mean a lot to someone too. He can tell by the look on your face he’s made the right call, and he’s grateful he’s able to be here for you in whatever way you need him.

“Well, where do I begin?” You wonder as you sit down next to the blonde. You rack your brain and try to decide on what story or fun fact you should share first. God knows you have an endless supply of them tucked away in your memory. Some funny, some sad, and some downright disturbing in the best way possible.

You glance over at Austin, settling on one and as you go to start sharing one of your favorite memories of your brother, you watch as your boyfriend completely tunes in to whatever it is you’re about to say. Nothing else seems to matter in this moment to him and that alone makes you want to wrap your arms around him and never let go.

Yeah, you think in your head, in a way speaking to your brother. You definitely would’ve liked him.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler x y/n #austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagines #austin butler fanfiction #request

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subbytcklslut · 1 day ago

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First Tickle Session (11/08/2024)

My first tickle session with @dca101

I'm going to do my best to recount everything, but frankly there was so much going on and I know I can't accurately run through every single second.

So, I'd been anticipating this session all week, it was my first REAL tickle session. It had me completely nervous in the best and excited way possible. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have butterflies as the hours ticked down closer and closer.

So of course when he got here we had a moment of just chilling, talking a bit. I got a hug which definitely helped put me at ease. We started slow, him just getting a quick tickle in here and there. I wore shorts, a bralette and a thin spaghetti strap tank. I wanted to be tame but also leave as much ticklish real estate exposed as possible, so yeah at one point the tank came off. I actually had shoes and socks on starting out, so he focused on my thighs and my hips. Working his way up and teasing my sides and finding out how ticklish my underarms are. It was all gentle tickling, some rough tickles mixed in and I can't believe how giggly I was already becoming.

Fun fact, he teased my neck a fair bit( which is a turn on for me) but ummmm he glided his hands along the backs of my shoulders which we both then discovered is weirdly ticklish. Needless to say he had to test every inch between my neck and shoulder blades. Meanwhile I'm scrunched up and trying to squirm away from it. He oh so RUDELY honed in on my knees with some nibbles. Lucky I didn't jerk from how mean and ticklish it was.

He eased me in to some of the tickle toys. The vibrating feather particularly tickly to my stomach and ummm breasts 🫣. I have found my ultimate weakness though in that pure torture device that is the double pronged flosser thing. Doesn't matter where it touched, I was a giggling and squirming mess. He gave me a break from that evil little tool, but it was time to experience my first taste of foot worship.... I can't believe how much I liked it. Feeling my toes in his mouth was actually kinda hot and it tickled the tiniest bit. Then the oil came out! He tested the ticklishness of my feet without oil on one and oil on the other, with the addition of the hairbrush(the only tickle tool I experienced until this point). He discovered an absolute death spot that was my toes and proceeded to call ME a liar for having thought the spot under my toes was the worst. Totally not my fault, so I was subjected to some torture on my poor toes with multiple tools.

Turns out, I'm certain areas I'm also very lickilsh. Um the underarms 😨 and my poor soles.

Of course my sassy and bratty self couldn't help it at times to bite back and it resulted in me getting pinned down(holy fuck was that hot and got more than it's fair share of moans) while he tickled my upper body. His teasing tickle talk only driving me more crazy and to more laughter. He got me to admit what a ticklish toy I am and um excuse me but how dare 😤💀

It wasn't until 3 hours in that the restraints came out. We kept it easy, rope and some good cushioned restraints. My heart was absolutely pounding with anticipation as I lay there while he secured me. Testing my mobility by tickling my foot, my thighs, my underarms. The real ticklish panic set in when I realized I couldn't stop or squirm or hide any tickle spots.

For all my bratiness he had to dole out some punishment to my oiled and secured feet,using each tool he had and really going to town with them. Again, that double pronged flosser is my weakness, followed very closely by grooming gloves 😵‍💫🫣 I was warned these toys were going to be intense but nothing can prepare you for them. Even writing this my toes are scrunching as I remember what happened. He had me so much in lee headspace that I couldn't help but beg and laugh. All the while just adding enough teasing torture to bring a whimper from me.

I'll admit, we had some NSFW tickles... Again that evil fucking flosser right along my pussy. The moans and laughter from me were embarrassing to say the least 🫣 but I fucking enjoyed every minute of that agony. We ended our session with one last vigorous torture to my feet, that evil fiend).

But honestly, the sweetest fucking thing was how caring and gentle he was. He made sure to give me breaks to breathe, letting me adjust to each new ticket sensation. Making sure I was okay with what happened and not pushing boundaries that I had set. He really helped ease me into my first session and I couldn't have asked for a better first time. He's an absolute teddy bear of a guy and snuggling him as both of our aftercare had me grinning ear to ear.

More sessions will definitely be happening and I'm damn lucky y'all 🫠

#ticklish #tickle community #tickle content #tickling #tickling kink #tickle teases #first tickle session #new tickle spots unlocked #subbytcklslut #sessions with subby #im a literal puddle this morning #lee headspace is real

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textmel8r · 2 days ago

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even if the election wasn’t stolen there’s some real issues with transparency rn…. I’ve seen a helluva lot of people saying that their votes didn’t go through. If it makes me blue maga to say votes at the very least need to be recounted then fuck I guess I am blue maga 💀

no really i could talk about this shit for hours. you guys probably don’t know this but i actually am one of those autistic history “let’s play devil’s advocate 🤓” virgin losers in your history class, and i have been watching every single rally, news segment, interview, etc about this election. there are a few very real issues that back up the claim that this election was fraudulent.

(yap for those who care)

1. there is obvious russian interference. a concerning number of bomb threats called in by russia aiming at predominantly black populated counties, especially in swing states. it’s no surprise russia would be assisting trump with winning, as they have been in connection since 2020 while trump was not in office (which is illegal…)

2. so many reports of people’s ballots not being counted. go on tiktok, twitter, etc and look it up, there are literally thousands of examples of votes going undocumented, even for those who voted in person.

3. also trump supporters were just?? burning full ballot boxes??? and people are finding full boxes in the fucking woods and files falling off the back of cars that are supposed to transport votes. like what??

4. there were record turnouts to the polls this year, even upstaging 2020’s turnout. there were hundreds of thousands of new registrations created following the taylor swift endorsement, as well. so how is it that donald trump got the same amount of votes this year (even a little less than 2020) meanwhile harris lost 16 million democratic votes compared to last year?

5. no fucking shot trump won EVERY swing state. nope sorry i don’t buy that shit. because how did north carolina, a usual blue state whose citizens voted blue down the line for local politics, still turn out as a red state? this happened in other states as well.

7. trump has explicitly said incriminating shit during the campaign. he’s said things like “i’ve already got all the votes i need” and “i have a secret that’s going to help me win” and if you know anything about trump, then you know he just says he’s overt shit. this isn’t some well thought out code for something, he is just literally telling us that he has a secret that is going to get him his win.

8. speaking of trump, that man posts on truth social (his version of twitter) 178282182882 times a day. so it’s really fucking strange for him to not be gloating about his win. in fact, he barely celebrated.

9. elon musk ran a (illegal) give away that promised a million dollars a day to a random republican voter in key swing states.

10. the whole alfie oakes shit. he is a close associate and contributed to donald trump, he was involved in the insurrection at the capitol and he’s just heavily involved with maga and trump as a whole. his house just got raided by law enforcement and they seized a shit ton of documents and his laptop. there is a chance this is election related as well.

okok i’m done but remember democrats, you’re not crazy for questioning the legitimacy of this election, because lord knows if even 1% of this shit happened and kamala harris won, the conservatives would literally shit their diapers and cry and bitch and moan for another 4 year. this is nothing compared to the dramatics of maga on january 6th 2021, this is just us exercising our 1st amendment right to question something that warrants questioning.

#❝ 𝐑𝐀𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 ❞#harris walz 2024 #election 2024 #2024 presidential election #donald trump #kamala harris

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to-rise-above-monsters · 3 days ago

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how i interpreted the bertholdt thing was that armin’s understanding of annie deepened bc of bertholdt’s memories, not that it necessarily controlled his feelings (like how eren implied)

i reallyyy like aruani as a concept. they mean so much to me. ‘girl who doesn’t care for life’ ‘boy who cares so much’ (i also just love them as characters so much)

i think the downside for them was how long ago s1 was.

warning rant underneath (im embarrassed im so sorry)

i’d been such a long time fan but dropped off when there was a hiatus of the anime and decided ill just binge the manga when it’s done. the only real reason annie was on my mind was bc of how dedicated i was to the rba dynamic and how much i loved annie (and fanon annie) as a character. but she truly wasn’t a character for nearly half of the series.

i even knew someone who saw her in the crystal and asked me “who’s that?”

i think she suffered from fandom slightly but now it being canon ig they were right. it was a little annoying for fandom (a small part of it) deciding that every character needed to be paired off with each other and that annie must be in love with one of the boys she tolerates. maybe that was a small reason i found the canonicity so out of nowhere?

bc i love fanon ships for sillies but making a female character HAVE to hinge on a relationship with a man rubbed me the wrong way. but that’s not what aruani is in canon and im so thankful for that. but i still wish there was more

it sucks because there was really no way of developing her or their relationship while she was in the crystal and idek how someone could properly execute it but it was very jarring for her to come out of an absence that was longer than the timeskip for the readers. we hadn’t even seen her for i think six years? and then immediately she is fully canon with a character that we had followed for all the time she’d been missing.

idk i wish they had more. i wish it wasn’t hints. i wish it wasn’t the assumption that they must be romantic because of this, this and this.

their stuff in season 1 was so nice. i remember being so intrigued. but that’s all it kinda was? we never had a reason. why did she spare him? why did she seem to care about him in particular? why did she want to ‘be a good person’ for him? so interesting.

but we… never get an answer? is it because he called her nice? she clearly had empathy for him before that. but that wasn’t something ever shown. even the compilation of moments always seems to start in the middle of a blossoming relationship. there was never a moment that solidified their mutual respect and interest for each other. it’s just something that just… happened? off screen?

rereading all these years later, i can catch these things and be like ohhhh yeah ig that was them liking each other. but when it was happening in real time, it was the most jarring and insane jump. i was like woah woah buddy what is going on.

sudden blushing and confession was so crazy to me. it felt so sudden. and so did other ships. it felt like “ofc they were in love the whole time they’re a woman and a man who have some interest in each other”

honestly, something that could have been implemented maybe was that armin was genuinely talking to her not because he was in love with her but he did genuinely ‘want to see her’. maybe a scene of him reflecting on maybe why he wanted to talk to her so badly (he kinda does but i want it to circle back to his regrets and maybe acknowledging all the times she spared him or cared about him to a certain capacity). maybe a flashback of why annie respected armin so much. or when their relationship started.

and maybe showing him visiting her throughout? but from a lore perspective, i feel like that still wouldn’t work. sigh im so sorry. i have so many feelings and I don’t think I’ve ever actually written it out before 💀

idk im so sorry im rambling SO BAD. i think snk deserved to have a lot more breathing room and filler. letting my children just breathe and talk for a second. (i think that’s why junior high was so good and so well received)

i love this manga so much and i know some people hate the ending but i personally really love this series and it’s overall message and think it’s so well written. and i love anyone who is passionate about anything and loves things. i just like to write improvements or brainstorm headcanon/how i would tweak things🙏

anyways

isayama put his whole pussy into making yumihisu so explicitly romantic and intimate and loving throughout their entire relationship and decided he was done for the day<3

why did isayama put his whole pussy into yumihisu after saying he can’t write romance. and then fumble when it came to the straights.

#long post #oh my god don’t look at me this is so embarrassing #i love you all so much im so sorry if said something wrong #i promise i really like everything everyone i just wish writing was better #with the conversations in the comments/replies im like also getting the perspective of #maybe he can’t write straight romance bc of being shy or it being too personal #or that maybe men and women on a romantic level don’t need or don’t have a deep connection #and potentially them just being a man and a woman is enough for love #armin fr bagged a baddie for no reason other than his autistic swag #they didn’t have to talk. he just had to sit there and look pretty. and she just had to body slam his bestie.#idk man. i just ranted an entire essay for no reason #I literally have a paper due what the fuck am i doing #i hope this doesn’t come off as ‘I HATE YOUR SHIP’ or ‘YOURE DUMB IF YOU LIKE THIS OR THINK IT MAKES SENSE’#because tbh i like everything and could write just as long of an essay about any ships dynamics and value #i just think that every romance EXCEPT YUMIHISU FOR SOME REASON is written kinda shallowly and the ships deserve better #and if you think they’re perfect as is that is 100% cool too and i would love to hear why!#i just like talking to people and listening to different perspectives and hear what people are passionate about #oh my god im even yapping in the tags #txt #too much text #aot #snk #aruani #meta #i guess

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blazinghotfoggynights · 2 days ago

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Crazy things you'd like to see happen in season 8 or (if ABC is so kind enough to greenlight it) season 9.

I'll start:

1- Eddie stops being straight and the priest stops being celibate. Together.

2- Buck has to watch Eddie slowly venture out of the glass closet he's been in forever.

3- Buck spirals and bounces between whore and hermit.

4- Eddie spirals and gets stuck on whore for a while. A loooooong while. And he is a proficient, popular, busy one.

5- I want to see Eddie start number four with women, get a therapist who helps him dig through the beliefs vs truth and religious guilt, and he realizes he isn't as straight as he thinks.

6- I want Eddie to add men in after number five.

7- I love messy drama, so I want a Tommy return, but not for a second chance. I want Buck to feel like he has to cling to Tommy to have a chance at a partner, so he seeks him out for closure only for Tommy to ask if it is true Eddie is dating men now and then ask why Eddie didn't go for his wooing attempts.

8-I want a Buck breakdown. (I have times that I love whump.) Abby left. Ali left. Taylor couldn't be trusted. Tommy was with him only because Eddie didn't want him. Eddie is never around because he's putting in lots of hours making up for all those dry spells. Cue self-loathing, self-doubt, self-esteem issues, his abandonment issues eating him alive, and the guy having no clue he is jealous af. I want crying. Lots of crying.

9- I want Tommy to run into Eddie and hit on him. I want Tommy to tell Eddie he did everything to try to date him, but thought he was straight. I want it to end with a fight. (I told you, I like messy drama.)

10- I want Buck to come close to leaving because he feels he can't stay, but he doesn't know why. Every member of the 118 family should ask him why he thinks leaving is a good idea. He can't articulate anything other than he can't take it anymore, but can't tell anyone what "it" is. They should all remind him of what he has in LA and what he would be losing. Just before he goes too far to turn back, Eddie begs him not to go and Buck goes off, asking him why he cares, since he isn't even around anymore. Buck tells him to go find some rando for the night like he's been doing for months and get lost. I will give the writers cookies if Buck is shoving Eddie out of his door and yelling at him to just go.

Then, Eddie breaks because he sees boxes being packed, Buck's loft being emptied, and realizes Buck is slipping through his fingers. Buck stops because he realizes why he is losing it.

The have realizations at the same time.

Buddie canon begins.

Add your own headcanons or wishes in the replies.

As always, this may or may not become a fic. If anyone else wants to try it, remember to hit me up with the link to read your work!

#911 abc #911 on abc #9 1 1 buddie #911 #911 show #buddie 911 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #tommy kinard #eddie x buck #buck x eddie #eddie diaz x evan buckley #evan buckley x eddie diaz #hot boy winter eddie diaz #emotional wreck evan buckley #tommy kinard is an opportunist and we all know it #911 wishlist

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lotusishere · 24 hours ago

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I know for sure if there was a cross over between PJO and KOTLC. Percy would beef with them the first time he met them. Let me set the scene. Do you guys remember when Percy just meet Carter from the Kane Chronicles? He thought Carter was a Greek demigod and was about to drag him because he kept getting in the way of the fight.

Now imagine Sophie, Keefe, Dex, Fitz, Tam, Linh, Wylie, Marella and Biana. Keefe with getting his ass almost killed every 2 seconds. Dex throwing all his creations at monsters. Fitz…idk what he does but I think he’s a scrapper (a regular no power fighter), Linh throwing waves and drowning everything. Wylie and his power of rainbows. Biana and Tam going in and out of invisibility. And Marella lighting the town like the Fourth of July. The way I could feel his eye twitch in horror trying to figure out what godly parent they all have and where they all came from. Better yet I know he would frown because he would be horrified to be dragged into another prophecy when he just wants to be with his girlfriend Annabeth.

He would feel like CHB is about to be repopulated with “British” sounding children with crazy powers. I know he would side eye Linh and think of his own father busted it wide open again without him knowing. And that would be even funnier for him thinking he has 2 new siblings because Tam and Linh are twins. But in reality he’s talking to Elves from one of the Barbie Fairytopia movies.

#I know he would be stressed on the battle field with them.#I would be too. the child support charges I would feel LOOKING at them.#kotlc #kotlc fandom #kotlc thoughts #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc sophie #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #kotlc biana #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo fandom #pjo series

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slay00ryu · 1 day ago

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hear me out 🙏 we help the li's through a mental breakdown ;3

Killers in Distress.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Trigger warnings.

Su1c1d3 attempt

Mental breakdowns

Kidnapping

Murder

Panic attacks

Spoilers for Killer Chat and partially Gluttony Gods . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Ronin:

A month.

That's how long it took Ronin to realise that something was wrong with you, and it wasn't in the regular murderer sense. The light from your eyes was gone, the regular excitement and flirtatious responses were obviously faked.

Now Ronin was basically rushing through the streets to get to your house. His breath was fast and uneven, he could feel his mind going crazy at the thought of not being in time to save his second lover.

First Ther and now you, just how much did God despised Ronin?

His thoughts were just flooded with the image of his ex partner whom he found hang up in their room a long time ago. He remembered the burning pain in his chest, if only they escaped from that shitty town with him! Ronin felt like he was losing control all over again, and that feeling of weakness was killing him.

Ronin parked his car in front of your house, cursing as he almost hit a tree. He had no time to worry about his car being damaged for fuck's sake.

He banged at your door, calling out your name and shouting every curse that he knew when he saw that your window was covered by blinds. He had no other choice, he had to kick your door down.

Once the door was out of his way he rushed to your room, his blood pulsing in his ears. Ronin's breath was heavy, his steps seemed louder than usual.

Bang!

He heard it, the sound of something heavy falling to the floor, something like a chair.

"Fuck." He cursed and ran to your room. He was panicked, his hands were sweaty and he couldn't think straight.

Did you really feel so terrible in this Hell that you had to use this method to save yourself? And why couldn't you tell him? Yeah, maybe he's not an open book either but for god's sake!

He broke your bedroom door down and froze in place.

You were hanging. His mind went blank for a second.

Then there was chaos, memories of Ther flooded with more power than ever, thoughts of how he couldn't be there to save them and kill the whole town for breaking them and stealing them away.

But there's no reason to dwell on the past right now.

You were still alive, conscious and half breathing with that damned rope hugging your neck.

"I swear to fucking God, I will choke you myself one day." He mumbled, his voice shaken as he cut the rope down and let you fall into his arms.

You were gasping for air, you were shaking, clenching your hands on Ronin's shirt.

You had a hard time realising what was going on around you, but you only feel that Ronin was holding onto you for dear life. He fell onto the floor with you held tightly in his arms.

"Ro... Ronin?" You said, voice weak after you almost choking to death.

He didn't answer. He was shaking. Shaking and crying? No. He wasn't crying. He was laughing.

His laugh crazy, maniacal and panicked. You struggled a little bit to be able to take a good look at his face. There was pure despair in those deep black eyes of his.

"Ronin? Please, talk to me." You whispered, a weak whisper that's the loudest sound you could make after that rope dug into your skin like claws.

"You, you were almost gone. Just like them." He spoke through crazy laughter. His hold on you tightens even more. You could hear how fast was his heart beating.

You could guess who that "they" was, Ther, Ronin's childhood, his everything. They were gone, you never knew how Ther met their demise, but from Ronin's reaction you could guess that it wasn't the first time he found his lover hanging from the ceiling. But maybe the first time he found them alive.

Somehow seeing Ronin in this state made all your depressive and self destructive thought fade. Seeing someone love you so much that they are in pure despair was somewhat refreshing? Or maybe you're just completely fucked in the head.

After a thirty minute a really tight hugging session, Ronin throwing away the rope and calming down because you didn't leave him for even a second.

The two of you sat down on your bathroom's floor and held leaned o each other.

"Why. Just why did you try to do that." He asked the long awaited question.

"I.. I lost all will to stay alive Ronin, everything in my life went to hell in a span of weeks."

"And you couldn't fucking tell me? You chose to die without a word?!" Ronin was in pain, he had a break down only a while ago, so his now new found frustration wasn't surprising. "I... I could see the world burn when I saw you there. It's like..." He didn't finish his sentence, but you knew what he wanted to say.

"Like when you saw Ther?" He flinched at your words. It was clearly an uncomfortable topic for him, a topic he rarely brought up.

"Yeah." He replied and cupped your face between his hands.

"For fuck' sake Y/N, please." His voice broke. "Just tell me about the bullshit you're going through before you decide to end it all." He leaned his forehead against yours.

"I will. I promise." You rubbed his cheek with your hand. "We should rest, my neck hurt so much." You made a light joke and Ronin actually laughed at your words, it was slightly bitter but it's better than his absolutely pained expression.

"No shit Sherlock, you deserve it." He replied and kissed you on the forehead.

Angel:

You were sitting on Angel's bed. Holding her close to your body.

She was going through a panic attack.

One of her model friends was found dead today. The poor woman was decapitated. You wanted to keep her in the dark for as long as you could, but she found out regardless.

Now she was holding onto you for dear life, covered in tears and sweat. No matter how much Angel wanted to keep on her tough persona, with you she just broke down, letting the pain out.

"How could they? She was so young! She was such a sweet girl and these-" She choked on her tears. "Monsters... When I get my fucking hands on them they will regret it." She nuzzled more into you.

"We will find them, we will make them regret everything they did to her." You brushed a hand through her hair.

You didn't know how to calm her down, you didn't exactly feel like you should do that. Her friend was just murdered, it was only fair to let her keep the right to cry and feel sorrow from that lose.

You also wanted to destroy people who did things like them, how could they murder someone like that and then all act and mighty? People like that made you feel absolute disgust and you could understand why Maria became Heartsick Angel to help her friends or avenge them.

You were holding the woman close to yourself until her body completely relaxed in your arms and her breath evened out.

"Sleep, my dear angel." You whispered and brushed her hair, sometimes hugging her tighter when she flinched or shook in her sleep.

Misaki:

"Why am I so useless Y/N?" Misaki voice was panicked, they sat on a stair case of some abandoned building in the middle of a downpour. They were soaked, and the rain mixed with their tears.

"I just want to help them, but the assassinations are too much sometimes." They sniffled and leaned their head on your shoulder when you sat down next to them.

"You're not useless Misaki. Your job is stressful, it's normal. I wouldn't be able to keep the gun straight if I had to deal with the targets you're dealing with." You tried to calm her down, and help her with the self doubt.

"But I am THE assassin, they hire me for these jobs because they know how skilled I am..." You hugged them.

"Misaki, you're not a god. You are allowed to feel weak even when it's something you're supposed to be the best at." They gave in to your touch.

"I just... want to help my parents." They sighed.

"And you will, you are already giving them everything you have, you are the best child any parent could wish for, even if you're an assassin." You kissed their temples.

"What are you four?" They giggled at your kiss and started a kiss war.

The two of you will be sick, but at least you can help Misaki relax.

V was running through a long corridor. He was soaked in blood.

Blood that wasn't his.

A few days ago, you were kidnapped by someone who was definitely not happy with Valentin murdering his men. So in act of vengeance they kidnapped you.

He moved Hell and Earth just to find the hideout's location. He had to find you at all coats.

So now here he was. Looking for you like a maniac, killing every person who stood in his way. He felt like a monster, his mind was racing between feeling like one of them demon's he despises and feeling guilty for letting you get in this situation,

You must've been scared. What if they hurt you? They're dead anyway so he won't be able to avenge you more than once.

He opened the last door and there you are, tied to a chair with a piece of cloth tied around your mouth to keep you shut.

Valentin's hands shook, he took a few weak steps to reach you and then fell to his knees in front of you.

"I... I'm so sorry my love. If I, if I guarder you better." The man was obviously distressed, his hands were shaking, he felt disgusted by himself. How could he show himself in front of you in this state?

What if he's no different from the monsters he kills now? He was brutal with some of the kidnappers, so was he any better than those he despised?

The sound of your muffled voice caused him to shot his head back up.

"Oh, yes. Yes you're still tied." He whispered and cut through those ropes that were blocking your movements. He got that piece of cloth off of your mouth too, tossing it to the ground.

"V, it's not your fault." Your voice was small, quiet. You looked absolutely exhausted.

"But, my love-" He tried to object, dwell in self pity and the disgust.

He felt your hands on his face, wiping the blood away.

"You saved me V. You must be so tried after looking for me..." The look in your eyes was so full of love.

in his entire life, V never saw such a warm gaze before. And you were the person gracing him with this gentleness.

"You're not disappointed? If I never left you alone then-" He averted his gaze from you, feeling his heart ache in shame.

"Not one bit. It was my decision to go home alone, you couldn't have guessed that they wanted to kidnap me." Your words were so full of trust, Valentin felt like an angel graced him with so much kindness.

"Thank you for coming for me, I love you V."

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Ok I'm not really satisfied with this, but I hope that you all liked it even a little bit :")

Sorry my dear Ronin fluff lovers But he deserved this pain<3 With love - N <3

#killer chat #killer chat ronin #gender neutral reader #v killer chat #angel killer chat #misaki killer chat #fanfic #killer chat angel #angst

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