#like i get that theyre the mcs but like. considering man was Literally trying not to puke when he thought she was confessing

[mx-paint]

.

[p0rnd3aler]

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE NSFW THINK PIECE/DRABBLE

I’m depraved

Rafayel is the neediest. He’s got a lot of insecurities/abandonment issues from his first love and he def has an anxious attachment style. He’s also absolutely the type of person to be codependent (Hello?? “Join me let’s drown in the ocean together”????? Like, come on). He’s constantly trying to do every little thing with you, almost like he can’t breathe unless it’s air that’s already been filtered through your lungs.

However, all big baby behavior™️ considered, he definitely knows how to woo you. I feel like since he’s Lemurian and also an artist, he only knows how to love a person in the most deeply devoted and romantic way. He’s also very careful with his heart and who he gives it to, once he decides it’s truly and solely yours that’s it. There’s no one else. But you also have to honor that with proper care, he’s very sensitive.

Anyway, I feel like he fucks in a way that’s slow, very sensual. The kind of love making where he takes over all of your senses, all you can feel is his touch, all you can smell is his sweat and cologne, all you can taste is him on your tongue, and all you can see and hear are his face and the sweet words of devotion he whimpers in your ear.

He’s also very easy to rile up.

Zayne is boring to me. Like I get the appeal he’s very hot and he’s also very stable (in a romantic sense) and healthy but I just can’t fantasize about that. Like yeah he’s a busy ass surgeon who will always make time for you no matter what and he’s super devoted and always caring for you in little ways, but also mf will make you take a water break during sex if you’re too wet bc he doesn’t want you to get dehydrated. Im done.

Honestly I think I’m biased against him bc the way he talks to MC just reminds me of this horrid man I met at a bus stop once who immediately started trying to tell me what to do/give me life advice. I get Zayne is qualified and the guy at the bus stop was not but idc if y’all want me to put effort into writing for him ur gonna have to submit it into the requests baby, moving on.

SYLUS. I feel like everybody thinks he’s just some big ol’ nasty freak but they’re WRONG. THEYRE WRONG ABOUT HIM.

Don’t get me wrong he’s definitely fucking tweaking when you first meet him, like just going apeshit off the bat with no context for us. But also? Once you get to know him? Bitch I’ll kill for that man you do not know. This mf drops everything for you.

Important arms deal he’s been trying to set up for a year or going to the arcade with you to get plushies out of a claw machine? Deal = cancelled

The fearless leader of the N109 zone who blows up anyone who perturbs him slightly. MF contributes 50% of the carbon in the atmosphere alone with the amount of shit he literally actually blows up with bombs. But you? You may break into his house and handcuff him to his bed in his sleep while trying to steal a brooch off of him. he doesn’t give a fuck. he’s in love with you. Set his house on fire! He won’t care! He’ll just buy a new one!

As rough as he is around the edges he’s completely smitten. “You should know I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.” Like girl don’t fucking play with me. Is he mentally ill? Absolutely. But he is so devoted, so careful with you. “I’m never annoyed when we do things together.” It’s literally like he’s learning how to be a human being for once and he doesn’t care about losing the coldness or sharpness he once had because you’re more than enough to replace any absence the loss of those thing may bring. He knows he’s getting soft and doesn’t care. He doesn’t try to stop it. To kill for you is nothing to him. Not even a second thought. He kills all the time. But he would never harm again if the violence ever came in between you two.

And I think that dedication, that devotion totally translates itself into how he makes love to you. He’s definitely a filthy talker, I think he says some NASTY shit during sex, just because he likes seeing you squirm and feel how your skin gets hot from his words. But I don’t think he likes hurting you. He wouldn’t do anything to harm you. He’ll spank you yeah, and he’ll tap or squish your cheeks to get your attention. But he only wants to bring you pure, carnal pleasure when it comes to sex. If you even think “that feels good” he’s like a dog with a bone. You get no rest when he’s there you only get mind-numbing pleasure. He’s a tease, he’ll poke lighthearted fun at how loud you’re being, ask you who you think can hear you two while you’re being nasty. But he knows you. He knows what you love, what gets you off, and he cares to learn all of this because of how much he loves you God I’m SICK

Xavier is filthy. That man laps up your pussy like a thirsty dog. The freakiest nastiest mf out of all of them. He won’t show any sexual prowess or interest for months I think. I’m not sure he’s even aware of his powers. Your relationship will literally be based around his chaotic sleeping “schedule” (that shit is not a schedule) and relaxing between missions together. All things considered, you guys spend almost every waking (and sleeping) hour together. Work, dates, naps, eating, it’s almost always together.

It’s not until he hears you getting hit on all night that his composure finally starts to crack.

Three months of the sweetest, purest boyfriend you could ever ask for. Your sweet silly boy, who starts silently pouting all night. It’s not until you two finally find a hotel to stay at for the night, that he finally starts loosening up.

“I’m not a young fool, you know. I don’t take what’s in front of me for granted” he quotes the guys hitting on you earlier, which he heard through your ear piece. Then he recites every time another guy hit on you while you two were on your mission. He’s a jealous jealous jealous boy. He HATES other guys vying for your attention. It just makes him want to whisk you away and bounce you on his dick so loud that every other guy can hear it. When he feels jealousy, he feels the need to mark, claim, devour you so no one else can try and steal you. He gets himself worked up. Stewing and agonizing over the thought and the memory of another guy trying to get to you so much that he can’t even think of sleeping. He gets completely taken over by the urge to have your every reaction solely based on him and what he gives you. I think he fights off these feelings for a long time, up until the protocore mission in the misty invasion memory. He just barely keeps it together until you’re rubbing all over him, pulling him closer to whisper his name in his ear, he just can’t take it. He needs to hear you say it louder. He needs everyone to hear you say his name.

He fucks you so sloppy, the kind of man who does not care what means he has to use as long as the end is what he wants. He wants you covered in marks of his making, he wants you to smell like him, he wants you to have trouble walking the next day, and he wants that asshole who tried hitting on you at work to ask you “what’s wrong? You look like you’re having trouble walking”

And as soon as the guy asks that you look over to Xavier, who has the most pleased little shit eating grin on his face.

The craziest part is that after he gets it all out of his system he’s back to being the little innocent sweet boy. But you know his secret, and he likes that you know it.

[madness-combat-confessions]

Okay idk if this is the most Obvious shit and im just slow or if theres been an ask about this or something but we need to talk about cloning and the AAHW more imo!!

If the thing about sanf and dei being previous members (and i think doc being confirmed?) then that begs many questions. Jeb and tricky were also members and we know their lore as past scientists for nexus and then jeb was "hired" by auditor and tricky too probably but we dont have a direct confirmation afaik but everyone else is just? Vauge?

Like either A) AAHW has people working for it that are not clones like the mass agents and soldats and engineers and they are never mentioned (which would be stupid imo considering how far we are into the story) or B) they are all clones that dissented which for deimos is yk not far fetched considering his poster outright stating it

BUT THEN THAT BEGS THE ISSUE ON HAND. Everyone that ive seen online considers the agents as personality-less fucking creatures and i think even canon says smt like that about them but like.. if a clone can dissent then they probably Arent as bland as they seem. And even that isnt far fetched, i mean they hold birthdays apparently and play games to pass time. How deep does it go? How much will do they have? They seem to be conditioned to never run when Hank aka (almost) certain death is around which is one thing but are they scared of death? Do they have favorite foods and colors? How human (or in this case grunt) are they? Is it just Some of them that have self awareness/personality? Are they coded to have a personality? If yes is it random or set? Would the AAHW bother to code a random persona generator?? Do they perhaps lose more of their indaviduality/humanity as they progress up on the food chain to be soldats or engineers??

Idk i keep seeing agents n shit in fics and stuff be shown as these sometimes mechanical creatures with 0 varying personality and 0 humanity and it makes me heavily wonder about them. Maybe theyre just a bit dumber than average due to being mass cloned? Shrug. I dont know i think theyre more interesting when considered to be actual people than just. Puppets. They are metaphorical and sorta physical puppets yeah but like they held a birthday man. Fuck. They had a birthday.

Agents keep me up at night.

-anon MMS if i can claim that cuz its funny /opt!!

Glad to know that I'm not the only one who also thinks about the AAHW!

I personally think/headcanon that basically everyone in the AAHW is a clone because anyone that could had been an actual real person is dead (lol). And idk how to explain it but from what I've read they lack S-3LFS, but they still are kinda like people? Like they might just appear like mindless clones who only wanna kill Hank, and they are that don't get me wrong, but I think they also still act like people to some extent (or at least some of them)

I mean one of the agents in MC 9.2 had been writing "We are abandoned " on a wall so to me that says they're capable of understanding their situation and feeling sad (?) about it?

Now I'm not sure on the engineers and the soldats, I mean a soldat literally blew a rocket where their team was because they thought their boss had told them to. Which makes me think two things

1: The AAHW is a bit too blindly devoted to the Auditor. Which is probably because they are clones that were made/'programmed' to be that way.

2: I think that the soldats and the engineers have less "free will" than the agents because of the ATP

There's also something else I wanna talk about

This:

Like hello? What the fuck did this guy do?

From my understanding what is considered a dissenter in this series is someone who goes against the Auditor and the agency. So what did this guy even do? Did he try to betray them like Deimos and Doc did?

Or was it perhaps something minor like not doing their job? Like actually make a decision for their own and don't do what the Auditor says for once, like how an actual person would do?

I wanna say that's a stupid reason to kill one if their agents, but it's a possibility: the Auditor is shown to not really take it kindly when people don't do their job, she literally sliced a grunt in half for it. Even though all the grunt did was play cards with some other agents.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case this guy was damned a "dissenter" and killed by the Auditor (or maybe the other members) for that reason.

So taken to account that they are soulless clones but can still 1: celebrate birthdays 2: play games to pass time 3: dislike their shitty ass situation I'd say that they have some personality, it's just that the Auditor is too strict to allow them to show/act like it. Because she doesn't want people with free will in the agency he wants mindless clones who'd do whatever she says.

Does this make sense I swear it does in my head I'm just bad at putting it to words.

[vulpiximisa]

okay 3 more episodes later

this certainly is a sports anime, but who is it for? theyre here with the hot blooded rude as hell, no respect wild protag, so it sounds like they want to make it relatable for young boys but the Sport Itself is Ice Skating Team. like yes its a physical sport but its also a performance, with cool outfits and apparently make up.

again i wouldnt compare it to YOI based only on the fact that its On Ice, but they literally don't tell me a damn thing about the sport either. i was expecting someone to tell me what the positions were, given that this is a fictional sport, but they dont even tell me what the free skate or short programs are.

also they use the same generic classical music and barely show any actual performing. like some of the technical spins look nice, but it's Not About The Performance and more about Winning.

But Like

the team doesn't even seem coherent either? there isn't a very strong team bonding or foundation, no deep friendships or anything formed. mc maeshima is just here being "Oh man, i love skating its so much fun but i want to do cool kicks and shit but dont care about the rules as long as it looks cool" but what about all that shit about trying to get into the club to even get a stepping chance to compete against shinozaki. sasugai seems to be the backbone but like, he just comes off as harsh and here for his own agenda.

anyway, im already half way into the series so yeah im going to finish it because i want to see where the rest of the series is supposed to go, but like, the vibes are definitely Not For Me (girl who is here for if not soft boys, at least male friendships and team bonding)

anyway Tomo best boy, im glad he got his showdown with maeshima (reminds me of when ozeki challenged ushio in hinomarusumo) and it seemed like they were close because mae would have liked to have him in the team, but its on the route of the normal sports where the "all round boring character" would never make it on the main roster.

im still looking forward to the blue powerhouse school's performance but considering they havent shown any actual performances, iunno what im looking forward to then

[luckyqueenreign]

Hey, hun!

Rant incoming 😅 I apologize in advance!

is it possible to be disappointed even if you expected it? i mean I definitely love they gave us an option to tell Meera "screw you!" and Suresh's apology was not bad, but still.

i kinda thought Finn's speech will be more about hos feelings for MC but he downplay it to "i wanted everyone on your side". what's wrong with FB's pixel men who go for different girl behind their partners back? I didn't like it with Jake behind Cherry's back (but he at least wanted to make an "official relationship" with MC), I hated it with Noah behind Hope's back (cuz it made him sneakiest boy in entire season 2 despite the fact that he's supposed to be a loyalest person!), I didn't like it with Youssef. and now they doing it with Finn? why can't we have one boy who wants only MC and showing his intentions for everyone? you know like Rafi from s4. This man actually chose to walk from Villa cuz he came with his eyes only on MC!

So now I'm really considering choosing money in final (if FB will give us this opportunity!)

I would like to be with Finn if he actually made it clear to Kat before proposing MC to take his eggs, if you know what I mean.also! it's quite suspicious when he said he didn't do bits with Kat when she said opposite. So there isn't any complete trust in him.

I don't fancy Alfie as a love interest. So he's just a friend for my MC. And he disappointed me too! I mean there was a girl who fancied him greatly, he brought her back and didn't regret it (he made MC vulnerable!), he chose to marry her in SMP and he chose not to go with her because what? MC (who by the way he cheated on with Kat)?? I actually felt bad for Meera in this moment even though I hated her. So... this is definitely is not a man for my MC.

I'm too straight to go for a girl even though Lulu is lovely! So it's not an option for me😃

And Suresh... Well, it's complicated. I'm not forgiving person - not sure I can move past cheating in real life. And I probably wouldn't got together with Suresh if I eas MC - I couldn't forget a betrayal and there's no point in relationship if you don't trust your partner.

But I did like his apology! finally we have something sincere!

and still - kissing your mistress in SMP challenge is a really next level cruelty. I can understand when you want to see if there could be anything but you don't have to do it when a person (who you clame you care about) can see this.

also! His actions do make sense when you shutting his flirting at every opportunity - so he could have a doubts about his chances. but when you flirted with him even on double date, when you kissed him - it should have been a sign for him! His actions are cruel when you trying to actually romance him.

and I still don't have enough emotions from MC! I want some good drama - when she don't want to love her ex but can't help herself but love him. When she wants to move on and struggling with her feelings because he is her first and only love. She tried so hard to rebuild herself after his betrayal and when she's finally go to Villa he showed up. and all her "work" to forget about him eas pointless. I want her tears and his vulnerability (and tears) damn it.

overall S5 is the only season where I don't find a good boy (without any red flags). It's a shame, there was do much potential!

Ahem... I didn't mean to rant so much, sorry! Feel free to ignore this bedsheet of text😅

bestie you're so right...s5 has literally the worst men in the entire series...the least complicated LI in all of S5 is Lulu and thats awesome for players who want wlw route but I wish wlm route got at least one uncomplicated man as well. dont get me wrong I love a redemption story, but not all of them needed to be one. Also why theyre now making Finn a cheater is beyond me?? it literally makes no sense. And I dont understand why all of his confessions lowkey back pedal every week. I like u MC ALOT!! but I also like Kat too! not very reassuring since thats what u did literally ALL SEASON and still chose her at every turn. I agree with u on the Rafi thing, I wish Finn's declaration had been more all or nothing. He needed to break up with Kat for it to mean more.

[kenmaiid]

Gamer! Barbatos

Barbatos + gn!reader

[ok not an actual gamer AU scenario sort of thing but no one talks enough about the fact that Barbatos canonically games and its driving me nuts]

the demon brothers | other dateables + Luke

                                                          ---------

We already know its canon that Levi used to game with Barbatos, I mean he was literally trying his hardest to convince Diavolo into getting the butler to start playing with him again, so we know for certain he used to -So then why did he stop? Well, its rather obvious that the man is always so busy working around the school and the castle pretty much 24/7. He is booked and busy!! So it would make sense that he would just prioritize work much more than that -but he must be really good right if Levi himself is so desperate to bring him back to the gaming scene, if only to play with him? yeah?

Barbatos is more of a "I'm playing because you politely asked for a partner" rather than an "I'm playing in my free time of my own violation" (rip our dreams of gamerboyfriend!Barbs...)

I think he's pretty good at pretty much any game he touches honestly. He picks most things up instantly, used to many years of working under someone as eccentric as Diavolo. But that's not to say that he doesn't have a few moments where he doesn't fumble. Give him a minute though, he's a quick learner.

He seems like the type to be especially good at games like Monster Hunter, Fire Emblem or Octopath Traveler etc. Any sort of game that requires good battle tactics and strategy he absolutely eats it up. He likes something that offers some challenge.

Which leads me to think that he'd probably be quite good at any sort of competitive party type game as well! (Mario Kart, Mario Party etc) It might not show immediately on the surface but he enjoys just a little bit of friendly competition, especially if you’re not one to back down as well. He's a little sneaky like that. So good luck

I feel like it would be very silly goofy to witness him actually playing a game in person though. Something about seeing a controller in his gloved hands (or otherwise) just doesn't fit his image at all. Will probably joke about this aloud to MC once he notices the look of amusement on their face. "And just what is so funny over there, hm?" He smiles more-so to himself.

He's not the type to overreact when playing, or move his mouse or controller all over the place. He's just quietly poised and focused, perfectly still. Perhaps the slightest frown of irritation might frame his features if things aren't going the way that he likes, but he has all the time in the world, literally. Whatever tasks need to be done in-game, they will eventually get completed. So he doesn't stress about it too much.

What he can't really get behind are the more lax/'childish' games surprisingly. You'd think that he'd enjoy the tranquil or peaceful 'simpler' games more, but theyre not really his cup of tea (ha) : Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Roblox. I just feel like he would be momentarily confused, before figuring things out and quickly realizing that he feels absolutely ridiculous playing them. "I built this very elaborate... “ He frowns. “...square mansion home. What now, MC? Maybe a square garden I suppose...?" He frowns even more as you try not to laugh at his solid block avatar-

Probably not the fondest of mobile games either unfortunately. Might consider them to be just a little bit of a waste of his valuable work time. There's always so much to tidy up and take care of around the castle... The Devildom would crumble if he was just sitting there playing Flappy Bird tbh. Though The Young Prince certainly doesn't have any qualms against playing them when he should be doing paperwork-

Semi-related though I think he would be killer at Among Us. Literally a master manipulator. Everyone (minus Levi, MC and Solomon) just always automatically believes him about whatever task he says he was doing. ‘You were walking towards this hallway at the time of the crime? Okay Barbatos, let's vote Mammon out instead.’

Levi's always getting killed by him that’s why he never trusts him. And Solomon just seems like the type who would witness him killing and not say anything for the fun of it)

Though, if MC does catch him on a very, very, very, very, very rare day off when he isn’t attending to others, or shopping, or checking in on everyone else... then he’s most definitely spending his time with them. If MC asks nicely enough he might offer to let them watch him play something for just a little while. But only if they promise to join in later.

[ohbae-me]

okay so, im about to go ham because i truly stand strong in my shoujo fantasy.

In my opinion, im pretty sure (like 89%) lucifer tells us that whenever mammon breaks off a relationship with someone, they go broke completely after. so hes had previous relationships before, as for the rest of the boys, im pretty sure lucifer has, but nothing serious, he wont let anyone in, MC is literally the only person who has pushed past his walls and seen him for more than pride. satan, 100% he has never had a relationship, levi, has had a couple of fwbs and other relationships but they always fizzle out, never lasting. asmo has never had a serious relationship, always just flings. belphie never had a serious relationship and same with beel. i truly believe MC is their first true loves, i know what youre thinking "theyve been alive for so long, theres no way someone couldnt have been special to them" but the thing is, theyre so different with MC; their entire dynamic and relationships changed with MC, MC saw them for more than their sin and got to know them to their very core, while yes the other relationships never lasted, thats not to say the boys didnt love them; but just not in the way they love MC. i believe MC to be a true love, not just a love, the difference for me is all of the boys would gladly give up chasing MC once she finds herself happy with another brother, instead of forcing them to choose yk? the "as long as youre happy, it kills me everytime i look at you smile at him, but i love you too much to let you be miserable with me" and i dont think any of them have experienced. also, with the whole "new relationship" thing, the honey moon phase, while yes every couple has it, i feel like with MC it would just, last. not to say they wouldnt have fights; ofc they would, but its different with MC, everyday the brothers would wake up and chose the option to love and fall in love all over again, speaking further on that, i dont think any of them would truly get over MC. and i mean that; (i dont think MC is going to die, obey me devs have something planned LOL, plus theyre super powerful, like the other anon said i dont think theyd be able to really function without them, even if they do "get over" mcs death at some point.) after MC dies i feel like the family dynamic wouldnt be the same, the brothers would get quieter and would never truly forget about it? and every relationship would fail because theyre not MC (you dont have to agree but i love reverse harems), like i 100% hc that after MC chooses another brother or after they die, mammon would try and try to find new flings, even after its been decades mammon finds someone whos super similar to MC, their look, personality, etc, but one wrong move and theyre out. (say MC doesnt like pickles, but the replacement for MC does, he would immediately start crying and call mc a stupid human who he shouldnt have fallen for.) anyways in conclusion, i truly dont think MC would ever die canonically in the obey me game, the devs are sneaky (love you devs), but even if they would, i really feel like they would never get truly over it. some part of me truly believes that the brothers would go back to being distant, how they were before. they would sit at the table and eat in silence, asmo would begin partying ten times harder (since we already know he uses his ego to cover up his major insecurity of people not liking him and how he feels about himself) and the brothers would become even more indugled in their sin. also, for every relationship they would have, they would just compare them to MC, and yeah but I cannot see MC dying. the other stuff about what the brothers would be like after MC dies could also be applied to when MC chooses her s/o. i think the brothers would be super fucking hurt, that was their first love, their first understanding who walked out and chose someone who wasnt them. anyways thats all, you dont have to reply i just felt like i needed to get this off of my chest, also im gonna be pretty frequent on your blog ( i love ur writing ) so im gonna call myself cake anon! have a great day! - cake anon

Hello Cake! iluuu! Thanks for this, i really love getting every ones take on these things! And there is defs a lot that i agree with here. 

I agree with the Mammon part. Out of all of the brothers, i feel he is probably the easiest to get emotionally attached in a relationship, so i see him as the one with the most previous relationships. Asmo coming in second, but his being mostly flings or poly/open relationships. I’m sure Mammon has had some serious ones as well as many flings, where Asmo’s have never been overly serious and certainly never long lasting. I’m also sure Luci has had a few, some more serious than others, but he wouldn’t get overly attached emotionally. I’m sure he’d be too busy with Diavolo since arriving, being the workaholic he is. I’m sure not many partners would be willing to deal with that level of non-commitment and emotional unavailability from him.Levi I feel like all his relationships never left that awkward early stage, and his only ‘serious’ relationships would have been strictly online, maybe a couple meetups that made him nope right out of it. Satan, again, has probably just gone on some casual dates but didn’t have much interest in actually dating rather than gaining connections. i feel like Beel is the most likely candidate to have had healthy previous relationships. He is pretty well balanced emotionally and has a good outlook on love and family values. I’m sure he’s had a few serious relationships and has dated his share of people. Belphie gives me vibes of had one or two previous serious relationships that did not end well at all and now he’s a salty sob over it lmao. 

I still don’t feel like MC is necessarily their first true love, but maybe the first different kind of love for them. MC has reached them in ways no one else has, they don’t try to change anything, they fit in well with the whole family, they understand their sins etc. I have loved a few different people in my life, and each one was such a different experience for me. The first guy i loved, i consider to be my first true love. However, it didn’t work. And then i met the man I eventually married, he wasn’t my first true love, but it was a better kind of love, yk? 

And uugghh you ripped my heart out with how the brothers would feel if MC chose a different brother!!!! Because they all would be so heartbroken it’s not them, but they really truly just want mc to be happy and cared for, and they know their brother would keep them safe and provide well. 

A few asks ago, i mentioned that the brothers would move on eventually. I think there is a big difference in moving on and getting over that I maybe didn’t articulate very well. If MC were to die or choose someone else, they would move on eventually, but they might not ever really get over it. My heart hurts just thinking about how they would feel trying to move on. Like you mentioned, the empty, quiet dinner tables, lackluster parties and festivals, it would be like they lost their best friend. (i giggled picturing your mammon scenario with the pickle because that’s exactly how he’d react to something so small lmaooo)

I also agree that i don’t think the devs will kill mc off (again), that just seems like a really crappy way to end the game!! I’m curious to see how they would make different routes go if you can only romance one of them end game, vs you being able to have them all? I wonder if we’d get a choice in the whole becoming immortal thing or not? 

Sorry if this reply was too long and rambly, i absolutely love discussing these kinds of things!! I always welcome these asks!!! 

[char-lotteral]

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

[asrasotherbottom]

Big MC, big tits. Main LIs. Go! 👀

all six would consider suffocating under them both a privilege and an honorwarning for a little nsfw content—————————————-Asra

Asra “could nap during the apocalypse” Alnazar has discovered how good MC is to nap on

All parts of MC, especially their boobs though

I dare you to tell me that he wouldn’t have his mouth on their tits at every given sexual opportunity

Lots of hugs even more than he gives in cannon just to squish his whole body into theirs. 

Theres probably some spell he knows that would help hold them up and alleviate back pain from them if MC gets any. 

Faust lives in their tits now, she is the guardian of the warm tits, fuck off. 

He would def joke about having the privilege to be their bra and follow them around holding their boobs up from behind while they cook or something. 

Every time asra tries to put his hand over their heart to be romantic he spends like 5 seconds trying to strategically position around the boobs esp before they admit they have feelings for each other. 

Asra is SUPER into MC’s body, every roll or bit that sags or has stretch marks, hes all about it. Asra’s a very face first kind of person. 

Julian 

Hello god is that you its me Julian

Literally their boobs, in any capacity, even the IMPLICATION of their tits, brings this man directly to his knees

Being used as a human bra as a D/S thing is also his thing. 

All he wants to be do is be sat on bless his soul. 

Yes they need a 365x yearly hands on physical he is a DOCTOR do not @him. 

Does MC strategically use their bigness to make him feel extra small when he’s subbing? hes into it. 

Malak why are you stuffing straw in MC’s tits why are nesting Malak PLEASE

Imagine tired Julian just crawling into bed and bodily shoving his face into any soft part of MC’s body he can reach and passing out. 

Nadia

Literally gettin her sultry eyes on 24/7

Calls their tits her royal headrest and she’s absolutely right.

Claims they help her headaches.

Whats better than this, custom made clothes that fit MC’s body the way they want. 

Big MC? Nadia’s dom energy is bigger and she can and will make them feel tiny (if they want) 

Sleepin boobs to boobs 

Uses MC like a large body pillow honestly.

She asks to bathe together with them literally every day just for another excuse to run her hands over their body. 

It takes One (1)  horseback riding incident where your tit slaps you in the face for her to use her smarts to invent a half-magic, half-hydraulic, sports bra. 

Muriel

Big hands for big boobs

Big hands (and big heart) for Big MC tbh

He really digs the fact that theyre not small and breakable like most people he meets. 

Still picks them up and carries them around sometimes just to make them blush

Muriel canonically likes very soft things so i think MC counts. 

He gets flustered and turns Bright red every time he looks at mc but esp their boobs

Which is just about every time he looks at MC because theyre just There yknow. 

Hes good with his hands and likes to explore so thats that on that. 

Portia

Squish squish squish squish

Portia/MC ship name is now the big tittie committee 

Shes not even subtle she just comments on MC’s boobs all the time

Picks up MC as a show of strength and also when she’s trying to convince them that she’s actually a top 

She likes having MC on top too much though for that to be a convincing argument to them though.

Their boobs are Pepi’s bed now thanks

Portia also uses them as a shelf/place to stick pens and shes not even a little sorry. 

Purposefully squeezes MC into tight passageways and closets because oh no what ever will she do pressed up against MC like this. 

Lucio

The Count of Vesuvia deserves to live in the lap of luxury and he knows it. 

He calls MC “luxury” sometimes

He keeps his tits out and encourages MC to do the same. 

Lucio will def have the tailors make them clothes that fit their chest well but expect them to be at least a little self serving for himself. 

Pouty lucio placing his face directly into their chest thanks

Let’s talk about Lucio learning to accept that he just looks small next to MC and learning to be okay with that

Long before he’s okay with it in a general sense he’s Way More Than Okay with it in a sub sense so jot that down.

[bettycrocker]

i like how people are looking at my joseph analysis and either thing its 100% canon or garbage and horrible and that im just trying to make joseph out to be a villain and that i think robert and mary have no flaws themselves

so have another analysis mostly focused on mary’s issues

this is just my theory guys i never stated anything in there to be canon mary could be an alcoholic for a completely different reason that doesnt relate to josephs cheating in the slightest but i find it hard to believe joseph would settle down with someone he’s fully away has a dependency on alcohol and for years outright do nothing about it to help her especially considering hes a christian youth minister.

it might have something to do with mary mentioning “this isnt my first rodeo, it’s my 5th” which hints that mary has given birth 5 times or shes calling joseph a manchild which would be absolutely savage of her to do right in front of his fucking face

so it leads me to believe she’s either

insulting joseph

has had a 5th child before that she either had to give up or it died at a young age

miscarried

or if the cult ending is real she gave birth to a literal demon at one point

“but travis, she says she gave birth to only four!!!”

c-sections are a thing you guys, she only really mentioned natural birth when she says “squeezed four little”

if she miscarried, lost the child when it was young, or had to give up one of her children, it would definitely hurt her quite a bit. she would most likely resort to self-destructive behavior as a result.

and ive got a lot of people wondering why mary would become friends with robert knowing that he’s slept with joseph. she must not know, right? otherwise she’d just hate robert, right?

nah man

mary’s smart, she pay attention to her surroundings. but she’s not a snitch. she most like did confront robert about it after she put the pieces together but robert was most likely still distraught after being thrown aside by joseph and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. mary’s an extremely compassionate woman, i dont feel like after getting a full explanation from robert that she’d hate him.

she knows because she figured out on her own, assumed robert was the one who seduced joseph only to find out that joseph did the same thing to robert he did to the main dad; got close, told you that his marriage was over, slept with you, and turned around after not talking to you for a long time and saying that he and mary were gonna work things out.

mary resents joseph for not telling her what he did with robert, even after being aware that she knows what he’s doing and being aware of his lies, pretending that he’s only being nice and happy around mc dad just to get them into bed with him.

the way he acts really does take a toll on her and her coping mechanism is to drink and flirt with other men. it’s 100% not healthy and not something she should be doing to herself but its the only way she knows how to keep her marriage and really theyre only staying together for the sake of their kids. they’re all still extremely young, one being autistic as well. it’d be way too much on all four of them to divorce just out of the blue, especially when the children clearly love their parents very much even if we dont see mary interacting with he children in the story.

while joseph is off doing all his dates and organizing church stuff she’s most likely with the children. she doesn’t seem like the type to just avoid her parental duties when she knows her husband isnt going to be around. if she knows joseph is going to be home she’ll go and volunteer at the animal shelter, go hang out with robert, or just drink alone. she wants to detach herself from the world and try to keep her mind off of josephs infidelity.

keep in mind in the cult ending dialogue she does say “you ruined my life” we could piece that together with joseph just being a demon and forcing mary into the cult, but it can only tie to where her drinking problem comes in with joseph being the cause for her addiction. she’s fully aware that she shouldn’t be drinking as much as she is, but she’s become dependent on it since she cant leave joseph.

mary has her faults absolutely but to demonize her completely just from your first impressions of her isn’t fair. we get the first impression that joseph is a kind man who will bake with you and bring you cookies, but if we pull back a few layers, we can start to see something sinister in that pink polo shirt just like we can find a kindhearted but hurt woman when we look into mary’s wine glass.

mary definitely loves joseph, she most likely met him when he was still a sailor and they got together at a young age, she probably got pregnant which forced them to get married, lost the child in some way which started her drinking problem and then her husband started being unfaithful before they even had their first child. val is at least in her mid to late twenties, robert lost his wife around when she was getting ready to go to college, so if robert was josephs first offense (which i really dont feel like it is), joseph has been doing this for a very long time when you think about their childrens ages.

all in all please dont hate mary, she has been through a lot you dont have to agree with her coping mechanism but you also shouldn’t throw her under the bus for her self-destructive behavior.