#like i get that complaining is cathartic sometimes but too much is still bad for you

[storm-of-feathers]

VERY cool of so many people in my life to assume that bc I don't constantly complain ab being busy like they do then I am clearly just not busy (and they never ask how I am)

[glitter-stained]

My very personal rating of every lazarus pit fanon side effects I've ever read, ranked from favourite to least favourite :

Tapetum lucidum (the thing cats have that makes their eyes gleam in the dark): that's so creepy and cool, eery in a more discreet way than a full-on glow, idk who hced that first but they are a genius

Contaminated blood laced with the lazarus protein: because our blood renews itself pretty often, this implies the existence of either a lazarus organ that continues to pump the lazarus protein in the blood, or, more probably, the contamination of one of the blood producing organs, maybe of the bone marrow, by the Lazarus pit. Like imagine the Lazarus Pit changing you down to the inside of your bone... The implications are so fascinating I'd love to read more about it.

Altered dna: this doesn't make sense, how does the magical healing pit change your dna, I love it so much, tell me more about the magic gatorade that rewrites dna

Accelerated healing/enhancements: what's funnier, that the pit gave Jason metahuman abilities like being able to withstand a meteorite and going toe-to-toe with Deathstroke (the wiki's words, not mine) and it was just never discussed, or that nothing Jason went through gave him these abilities that he really shouldn't have and he still does and it was just never discussed? I don't know but still, that stuff is top-tier

Glowing green eyes: on the one hand, eyes that glow when the person is feeling intense negative emotions (even better it's not just rage, like, imagine having a flashback or nightmare or getting fear toxined and their eyes glow and people think they're about to attack but they just scream that'd be so cool) but on the other hand, I feel like the colour is too limiting. Sure, Ra's or Riddler can fuck with the glowing green but come on, my girl Cass deserves eyes that glow gold (like the gold from the Batgirl suit). Jason deserves to have glowing red eyes. Cicero says that eyes are the reflection of the soul and while I love the idea of the lazarus pit being toxic, contaminating a part of the person's soul, in comics, a character's colour scheme is an essential part of their graphic identity, and I think altering it to the point of giving it a totally different colour is too much for my taste personally. Like, you are still the same person that you were before the bad thing happened. Yes, it changed you irrevocably, but you are still yourself and you should still have the right to your name and to the colour of your soul.

Lazarus Rage/Pit Madness: so I've seen this one criticized pretty often, often because of how unnecessary, and honestly probably damaging, to the understanding of Jason's character after his resurrection. And like, I agree, but also I've found myself to enjoy the fanon version of the Batfam. Like, I don't like that it's murky and confusing sometimes to figure out which is fanon or canon and that that leads people to judging canon actions from a standard of fanon information, and parts of it can be sexist or racist or classist, but the same can be said from canon, you have to be critical with what you consume. Basically to me there are two batfams and I consume both differently and enjoy both, and in the context of fanon I enjoy Pit Madness. The idea of uncontrollable, alien rage is fun, is angsty, and as someone with intense anger issues I'm telling you writing a lazarus rage episode was one of the most cathartic things I've ever written and it felt so good. I also think part of the upset on the subject is a bit undeserved because I see people complain that "the lazarus doesn't work like that because it didn't do that to other people" as if the way the lazarus pit worked made any sense. You're telling me this stuff healed Jason's malnutrition but it didn't fix his trauma? That it healed the Riddler's brain cancer but couldn't be bothered to fuck with Jason's hypertrophied amygdala and the fucked up connections between his amygdala and hippocampus??! Obviously we can't expect dc to know or care about science that much , but I still have the right to be nerdy about it. Jason went into the pit resurrected by God and with brain damage and Ra's said it was a plague and that could make him crazy, I fully believe he could have gotten Pit Madness even if the others hadn't.

Eye-colour change: that's the same thing as the glowing part but without the fun part, really dislike it. I need to be able to listen to I know these eyes/this man is dead from the Count of MonteCristo Musical while making up Under the Red Hood edits in my head please and thank you

Lazarus Pit brings people back to life: I hate it so much dc stop treating life and death so inconsequentially oh my gosh characters fighting life and death situations should not have a source of immortality right in hand I hate that lazarus resin lazarus toxin stuff they have right now and the idea that the pits can bring back to life plays into that idea so I really dislike it. I understand the appeal, it's the basics of coming back wrong with a side of rebirth in the water but instead of being purified it's being poisoned, but I just can't get over how frustrating it is to see a beloved character die and only be able to say I hope he doesn't come back for his own sake and then he comes back. Urgh.

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Midterms, Mutual Pining, and a Meddling Roommate

*Zuko (ATLA) x GN!Reader

*Summary: Reader moves in with Sokka and his roommates when they transfer to their school. Why was one of them so cute?

*Warnings: Swearing, drinking, Sokka, emotionally awkward Zuko. Let me know if I missed anything!

*A/N: This one took a lot longer than it should have, shout out the Anon that requested this! Have I ever mentioned how much I love best friend Sokka?

Tip Jar

**********

Sometimes you questioned if moving in with your best friend was really worth it. You had grown up with Sokka and Katara, but when they moved off to college, you decided to stay back for a bit and just get some work done at the local community college. A couple years later here you were, your stuff packed into your car driving out to the apartment you were going to share with Sokka and his other roommates. You hadn’t officially met them yet, but they’d popped in to say hi a few times during your video calls with Sokka. You figured they couldn’t be that bad if Sokka lived with them.

But then you realized you actually had to live with Sokka. He was a great dude, but sometimes you wanted to throttle him. Like now, as you were trying to make dinner. “Sokka, I swear on the spirits that if you didn’t clean out the rice cooker last time I will end you!”

Sure enough, when you opened the rice cooker, there were clumps of old rice lining the bottom and stuck to the sides of the pot. You actually wanted to scream. Just as you started to throw a litany of curses out to the apartment, sure Sokka would hear you over whatever he was doing, the front door opened and one of your other roommates walked in.

“So I’m guessing dinner isn’t going well?” Zuko asked, closing the door behind him.

“I haven’t started yet, because someone didn’t clean out the rice cooker last time,” you called the last part out, hoping Sokka would hear. 

“Alright, you get started on whatever else you need. I’ll clean the rice cooker and get the rice started.” Zuko’s tone left no room for argument, so you just followed his directions. He quickly went about putting on his house shoes and putting his backpack down at the table, grabbing an apron before going to join you in the kitchen.

“You know, you really don’t have to. Like, I’ll complain about it a bit but I’m still fine with cleaning it,” you still tried to argue, even as you went to grab your ingredients from the fridge.

“Too late, I’m already washing it.” Sure enough, Zuko was already fighting to get the stuck on rice out of the pot and into the trash can.

“Didn’t know rich boy knew how to do that.”

“I literally work in my uncle’s tea shop. You know I know how to do dishes.” Zuko’s deadpan delivery without even sparing you a glance made you laugh, any irritation that you had at Sokka melting away for the moment.

You had to admit, you could definitely have worse roommates. Other than the occasional mess you expected from college dudes, they were honestly pretty chill and really considerate. Zuko, other than being rich, was honestly really chill and down to earth, which you really appreciated. He was quick to offer help with dinner or cleaning around the place, and he was mostly quiet. Aang was also sweet, and his two pets were honestly doing wonders for your mental health. You could only imagine how cathartic it would be to cry into Appa’s fur around finals time. The only downside you could really see to Aang was the fact that him and Sokka seemed to share a brain cell when the two of them were together. Actually, the three guys together all shared one brain cell when they were all together. Then there was Sokka. He was alright.

Kidding. If anything, you and Sokka had a sibling-like relationship. You spent your time complaining about him, but you knew if you really needed him, he’d cancel everything to just make sure you were okay. But when he didn’t clean up after himself, especially when he knew you’d need the things he’d used, well, you kind of wanted to kill him. It was all love though.

Cooking dinner went a lot quicker with Zuko helping you, and you had to admit, he was one of the only people you allowed in the kitchen while you were cooking. It was a big honor, not that he would admit that. Everything was great until Sokka finally came out of his and Aang’s room, and then you remembered just how annoyed you were with him.

“Oo, what’d you make? I’m starving, I was working on-”

“Fuck you, keep starving.”

“What’d I do?”

“You know what you did.”

**********

“Momo, I beg you to stop throwing shit off my shelves,” you whined, throwing your pillow over your eyes. You were trying to catch a nap, absolutely exhausted from the week you’d had. It was one of the few nights both Sokka and Aang were out, so that meant the house was quiet for once. Well, about as quiet as it could be with Momo deciding that he wanted to redecorate your shelves by throwing all your books and knickknacks down. You thought he would be nice and just take a nap with you, but you should’ve known better.

After about ten minutes of pleading with Momo - which was futile - you just got out of bed, grabbing your blanket and going off to search for a new place to nap. Your room was now compromised, and you didn’t even want to look at the mess was previously your nice and neat bookshelf. You figured the living room would be a safe bet, since Zuko normally hung out in his room, but you were surprised to see him just lounging on the sofa, scrolling through Netflix. “Oh, hey, I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“Yeah, I heard you arguing with Momo,” Zuko replied, looking back at you with a little smile. As if terrorizing you in your room wasn’t enough, Momo followed closely behind you, swatting at your blanket when you paused.

“He’s a dick, he wouldn’t let me nap. You mind if I hang out with you instead?”

“Go for it,” Zuko said, motioning to the open sofa beside him. You didn’t know if that was actually an offer to share the sofa, but it would definitely be more comfortable than the other chairs in the room, so you took him up on it. Sure, you were as close to the other arm of the sofa as you physically could be, but it was still on the same sofa. Momo opted instead to sit on one of the chairs, just watching you two. “You wanna watch anything?”

“I’m good with whatever, I’ll probably knock out anyways,” you told him, trying to hide your yawn. Zuko hummed in acknowledgement, going back to his browsing. You debated getting on your phone until you fell asleep and inevitably dropped it on your face, but instead opted to just watch him. There was something about the slight frown on his face as he tried to find something that piqued his interest - at least enough to stay put for a while. Or maybe it was the was he was completely casual, just in some black sweats and a random t shirt. Or maybe you needed to get some sleep, because why was he looking so-

“Alright, what’s going on?” Zuko asked, putting the remote down on the arm of the sofa beside him.

“What do you mean?” You weren’t sure if you should be grateful for him jolting you out of whatever spiral you were going down.

“You’re staring. What’s up?” You just decided that you weren’t grateful. Damn him and his directness. Well, not always direct, especially when he was uncomfortable.

“Nothing, sorry, I was just zoning out.”

“Okay, well zone out staring somewhere else.” You rolled your eyes at that before picking up a stuffed animal you’d won at the arcade and throwing it at him. Of course he caught it before it hit him, but you got your point across. “What the hell?”

“Stop being a dick!” Momo’s sudden loud meow interrupted the two of you, just enough to break whatever the hell was going on. As soon as you both shut up, Momo went about making the chair more comfortable for himself.

“Alright, I’m going to take a nap, pick something to watch.” You said, pulling your blanket tighter around yourself. Your exhaustion from earlier was coming back, and you just needed to close your eyes and maybe have whatever Zuko wanted to watch in the background and-

“And I’m telling you he definitely cheated!” Sokka’s voice rang through the apartment, paired with the sound of the door crashing open. 

“I think you’re just a sore loser,” Aang’s slightly calmer, but still pretty loud response came not long after. You shifted, not opening your eyes quite yet. You were hoping for the chance to go back to sleep, but there wasn’t much hope for that now that the others were here.

“Hey, can you guys shut up? They’re napping in here,” Zuko called out in a hushed tone.

“Why aren’t they in their room?” Sokka asked, his voice getting closer. “I thought they hated falling asleep in here.”

“Well, we did come in kind of loud,” Aang immediately sounded sheepish, which you definitely appreciated.

“And they tried napping in their room but Momo was being a terror,” Zuko explained further.

“Aw, but how? He’s sleeping so peacefully!”

“I believe it,” Sokka chimed in.

“Alright, so can you guys be quiet so they can finish taking their nap?”

“Since when did you get so invested in their sleep?” Sokka asked, probably leaning over the couch to look at Zuko closely. You just hoped he wouldn’t accidentally flip himself over the back of it. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Just shut up already.”

**********

You’d hoped that whatever little demon had taken hold of you and made you find Zuko (more) attractive would die down eventually as you just continued living with him, but unfortunately it just grew stronger. So that’s how you ended here, with your council: Sokka, Katara, and Suki.

As soon as you guys got to the little diner and sat in your corner booth, you looked at them and took a deep breath to signal that you were ready to drop some news on them. Immediately Katara and Suki perked up, watching you closely.

”Alright, spill it,” Katara said after a moment of you all just looking at each other.

”Spill what?”

”Whatever you brought us here to talk about,” Suki chimed in.

”Yeah, should’ve known that you don’t just offer me free food for nothing.” Sokka said.

”I never offered you free food, I asked if you wanted to get food and you jumped at the chance,” you immediately corrected. Even if you loved Sokka like a brother, your wallet could not afford his appetite.

”Whatever, details, details. Now spill.”

”Do you guys think Zuko is cute?” You asked, trying to soften the blow.

”What?” they all asked at once, staring at you like you just suggested getting rid of Appa. 

“Damn, okay, guess not. I’ll shut up now.”

”No, you don’t get to do that! Why the hell did you ask that?” Katara asked, leaning across the table to look at you closer.

”Is this why you guys have been acting weird around each other? Did something happen between the two of you?” Sokka asked, not even giving you the chance to answer his sister.

”What? They’ve been acting weird around each other? Why didn’t you tell me?” Suki asked, turning to her boyfriend.

”I thought it was weird but didn’t really think anything of it! I figured we were all just burnt out from exams,” Sokka said with a shrug.

”Spirits, will you guys just let me answer?” You finally interrupted the chaos erupting around you. “And what, you’ve never thought Zuko was cute?”

“Well,” Katara trailed off for a second before shaking her head. “Actually, no. Can’t say I have.”

“I’m telling Aang you hesitated,” you tried to use her moment of weakness to your advantage.

“Shut up. Normal people don’t ask that question.”

“I refuse to believe no one here has found Zuko attractive.” You argued.

“We just got over it,” Sokka chimed in. Suki immediately shot him a look. “What? Am I supposed to lie and say the guy’s not objectively attractive?”

“I’ll take it.”

“No, that doesn’t end the conversation!” Suki said, lightly smacking her hand on the table. “Why are you asking that? Do you have a thing for him?”

“I don’t know, maybe? Like, he’s cute and he helps me around the apartment and we hang out when the others aren’t there-”

“I’m gonna stop you there. The second you have multiple ‘and’s going on, you’re trying to talk yourself out of something,” Katara said, taking a drink of her coffee. “You’re gross.”

“I never even said anything! I just asked if people thought he was cute.” You knew defending yourself was pointless, but you would still die before giving in to your friends.

“You’re basically asking us to validate you, and I’m not gonna do that for no reason.”

“I will,” Sokka shrugged. “If you wanna be delusional, go for it.”

“That’s the kind of support I’m looking for. Sokka, you’re my number one now.”

“Okay, but good luck getting him to keep his mouth shut. This is the same guy that spilled Aang’s crush to me within a week of knowing it.”

“Yeah, but it took him like a year to even realize Aang had a crush on you in the first place,” Suki tried defending her boyfriend.

“Thanks, babe. I think.”

**********

You could practically feel the effort Sokka was going through to not say anything about your crush on Zuko. Everytime Sokka walked in on the two of you hanging out, or cooking dinner, or even the one time you ran into each other on the walk home and came in at the same time, you could see his brain short circuit. He would either go silent, which Zuko noticed, or he would walk right out, which Zuko definitely noticed. He would look at you with a confused little frown, and you would try to ignore the way you immediately felt warm at it. You’d wave him off, and he would drop it normally.

And then finals ended, and you and your friends decided to have a night in, drinking and celebrating the end of classes. Aang was designated adult, so you all had the chance to let loose a little. You were on the couch next to Zuko, listening intently as he rambled on about something his sister had done when they were children. There was a little blush sitting high on his cheeks, the cider he’d been drinking in one hand (probably) the culprit. Maybe you were sitting a little closer than you should have for a purely platonic thing, but you used the excuse of Toph’s growing volume to validate it to yourself. You should’ve known things wouldn’t be this nice for too long, especially since you didn’t exactly know the last time you saw Sokka leave the kitchen.

As you started getting into a story from one of your classes - one that Zuko had definitely heard before, not that he would stop you - you turned to fully face Zuko. You trailed off, getting caught up in just looking at him. It really wasn’t fair that he was so pretty. He gave you a little shy smile, tilting his head in an unasked question. And then suddenly, your view of him was blocked by Sokka’s face. His hazy eyes met yours, and you could feel something was about to happen, but you didn’t exactly have the capacity to figure out just what is was. Before you could say anything, Zuko spoke up.

“Hey, buddy. What’s up?” Sokka turned his attention to the other man.

“Are you guys gonna get together yet or what?” He was so nonchalant about it that you almost missed the slight slur of his words. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol all night. But you did know better, so you immediately started scanning the room for Suki, hoping she’d be able to rein in her boyfriend quickly.

“What’re you talking about?” Zuko asked with a nervous laugh. You stood, hoping that would give you a bit more visibility. Sure enough, you locked eyes with Suki. She took one look at the situation and handed her drink to Toph before grabbing a water bottle from the counter and making her way to you.

“Well, they have a giant crush on you and-” And just a second too late. Suki pulled Sokka back by the collar of his shirt, putting the water bottle in his hand.

“Sokka, honey, why don’t you drink this and leave them alone?”

“C’mon, I’m being like the best wingman!”

“You really aren’t,” Suki muttered, putting her arm around him. She then mouthed a sorry to you before redirecting Sokka back to a chair in the kitchen.

“Uh, well, I think it’s time for me to call it a night,” you said, reaching down to grab your phone from where it fell off your lap. Any buzz you’d been feeling was now completely gone and you just wanted to get out of there. Maybe just hide under the covers for a bit and watch YouTube.

“Oh. Uh,” Before Zuko could even start to form a response, you already started making your way to your room, waving goodnight to everyone you passed. As soon as you closed your door behind you, you allowed yourself to take a deep breath. You were so ready to end Sokka, but maybe there was still a way to salvage this. Sokka was way gone, so maybe you could explain it as drunken ramblings. But then what about your swift exit? And Suki saving you? You groaned, not really wanting to think about it any more. You could deal with this in the morning. You hoped Sokka’s hangover was terrible.

You went about getting ready for bed, shooing Momo off of your hoodie so you could put it on. Just as you were about to turn out the lights, there was a light knocking at your door. You looked to Momo like he would answer it, and then there were another couple knocks. “Hey, uh, it’s me.”

Of course Zuko would want to check on you. You took a breath, steadying yourself for a quick little explanation. Oh, hey. Yeah, I have no idea why Sokka said that. I’m really sorry if he made you uncomfortable. You’re covering dishes tomorrow, right?

You opened the door, half expecting Momo to barrel his way out of your room. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Can I come in? I don’t think you want everyone listening in,” Zuko asked, straight to the point. You stepped out of the way, letting him in. “So, uh, what Sokka said-”

“Listen, I’m really sorry about that,” you said, cutting him off. “Sokka’s pretty fucking gone right now and-”

“So, uh, was he telling the truth or just messing with me?”

“Wait, messing with you?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Okay, uhm, I’m confused. Why would he be messing with you?”

“Well, this wasn’t exactly how I wanted things to go,” Zuko trailed off, looking around the room and finally settling on watching Momo sleep on your bed. “Momo comes in here a lot, huh?”

“Yeah, he knows he can bully me. So are you gonna tell me why Sokka would be messing with you?”

“Listen, don’t feel obligated or anything, and I get this is weird because we live together-”

“Zuko, please get to the point.”

“Sorry, sorry. I think you’re a cool person and I like hanging out with you, and I was talking to my uncle about it on the phone and Sokka kinda just barged into my room. I get if it’s weird since we live together, and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable-”

“Oh my spirits, I’m an idiot,” you said. Zuko looked at you in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate. “How long ago was this? Zuko, remember when I took Sokka, Suki, and Katara out to dinner a bit ago?”

“Uh, yeah. Still a bit rude I didn’t get an invite.”

“You didn’t get an invite because we were talking about you. Wait, not in a bad way. It’s just I was starting to have a crush on you and I had no idea what to do about it so I called in the council to deliberate.”

“You’re really making that sound a lot more formal than it was.”

“That’s the part you’re stuck on?” After a few seconds, Zuko’s eyes widened in realization. “There you go.”

“Wait, you’re being serious?” Even in the dim light of your room, you could see the way his cheeks burned bright. His amazement was incredibly cute, and it took everything in you not to show it.

“Yeah, do I need to call Suki in here? She can back up what I’m saying.” 

“No!” Even Zuko seemed a bit surprised with how forceful that was. “I mean, no, it’s okay. I believe you. So, uh…”

“Right, uh. What now? This hasn’t actually happened to me before.”

“I don’t actually know.” The two of you stood a couple feet apart, trying to figure out what exactly this meant. You didn’t know what came over you, but you closed the distance, reaching for his hand. His touch was a bit hesitant at first, taking a second to relax his hand into yours. You looked up at him, yearning to touch him more.

“Can I kiss you? It’s okay if-” Zuko cut you off by pressing his lips to yours, the faint taste of the cider he’d been drinking earlier lingering. It was a quick little thing, leaving you wanting more. But you didn’t know if that would make you look desperate or not. He pulled back, and you didn’t know if the flush on his cheeks was new or still lingering from earlier.

“Sorry, I’d been wanting to do that for a bit and you gave me the okay.”

“Don’t apologize, it was nice.”

“Just nice?”

“Really nice.”

“I’ll take it. So, uh, do you want to go on like an actual date? With me?”

“Yeah, I would really like that. But what if things get weird?”

“We live with Sokka, it’s not like things can get much weirder.” And just as though Zuko had summoned him, there was pounding on your door.

“(Y/n)! I’m sorry! Please don’t hate me!” Sokka’s drunken pleading quickly followed. You could hear Suki trying to pull him away and couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe Zuko was right.

[badgalsasuke]

kinda wanna have a long rant here cause it feels cathartic so i hope you don't mind. ignore this if you feel annoyed. may be a bit controversial.

i think twitter sns are mainly vain and shallow. tiktok sns barely read the manga. tumblr sns have all the smart meta blogs but there are also a lot of the edgy wannabe communists who annoyed me too much sometimes especially since naruto (the character) is my og fave all the way since i was a kid so i take offense in the way he's constantly bashed around these circles. like yes i get it he grow up to be a bootlicker he's a neoliberal all of this is bad etc etc and all of the criticism of these are warranted but sometimes its just too much that idgaf sorry.

before the fake wokes get all fired up i'm literally from a SEA country that was colonized by japan and my country had a history of violent persecution where over 1 million of its revolutionary left party members were hunted down, imprisoned, and killed. i myself used to be active in researches concerning preserving history of these but anyways. the point is i know these things are serious but at the end of the day naruto is fiction? sure it'd be great if there was a proper politically correct resolution for all the bad things that happen in the show, centering justice and retribution etc etc but at the end of the day the story kishi wants to tell is not that. he's a liberal pacifist and assimilationist whose core value in his manga are all about peace forgiveness cooperation etc etc. naruto's character is deeply intertwined with this since he's the MC and supposed to be the voice of reason so i can see why some people might get fed up what with his constant preaching in his talk no jutsus and all. i personally liked him because of his personal ability to empathize and make bonds in spite of his loneliness but anyways thats also beside the point.

i just think that these fans who are super pissed that things didn't go the way they want should find other media that centers more on those justice themes they like so much, like idk, maybe death note or aot. i don't read any other manga.

most of these stans always being negative and complaining every damn day about everything, insulting everything about the media they claim to hate yet STILL having a fan account dedicated to it where they just hate on it all the time is so 💀💀. like, i consider myself a leftist as well and when i want to enjoy a good communist media I'd watch soviet films from the 60s and not obsessively latching on to a shounen manga written by a liberal and then gets pissed when the author doesn't share the same values as me.

i became obsessed with naruto because the writing of the batshit insane deranged toxic doomed homoerotic twin-flame-like relation was GOOD between sns and that's what i'm here for. but i think the polemic and polarization of this massive fandom is just too much for me. i don't know how you deal with it being in this fandom for so long. I've only peeked around for about a month and i'm already fed up. i used to not really interact with popular mainstream media exactly for this reason. no matter how i see it it's true that many of the Sasuke/Uchiha centric sns fans in here does lowkey hate naruto and are mutuals with naruto antis and it just gave me the final kick to not want to interact much with all of these crowd sorry. the ship still 10/10 and will always be top tier tho.

Hey anon!

I really have nothing to add other than I don’t like Twitter and TikTok SNS fandoms either LMAOO

[gaykey]

maybe bc i haven't been paying much attention for the past 6 months but i never felt like key changed, just that his pragmatism and the way he doesn't let anything stop his bag (which are things i used to admire abt him!) had their natural consequences. seeing him with shinee only solidified that, esp with what he said abt jjong complaining abt juice, we all said that when the song came out! he's always known fans' hearts best and that's what's made it more difficult to reconcile, bc why in that regard and not others? stanning one celebrity or not doesn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things but i'm still struggling with this for some reason when i found it so easy to drop other people i liked. idk sorry to dump this all on you, i know ur getting it from all sides, but you're one of the first shawols i followed and i feel like our journeys are connected even tho we don't know each other lol. sending love to you and yours <3

nah it's cool. it's cathartic for us to all discuss it. me too. i find it really hard to get my thoughts and feelings out in a coherent way sometimes, and these messages (the nice ones) do help me to sort out how i'm feeling, see other nuances i might not ect.

mmmm, so your saying he hasn't changed his behavior, but, his....work ethic? go-getter personality? has backfired on him in a negative way as of late? or, that that type of mindset was bound to result in something like this. (i'm paraphrasing you so badly i'm sorry idk what i'm talking about.)

that makes sense to me. because, as i have said, though it has proven to be a somewhat contreversial opinion, i truly don't think he's a bad or evil person.

mmmm, this is the struggle with me. kibum seems to have always known what the fans are discussing, what we want/need to hear, and are feeling.

i truly think the crticism hasn't been loud enough. which, makes sense. it always feels like a very small miority are willing to call out certain issues.

and it's the parasocials anon lol. idk how long you've stanned, but, either way, shinee just have a knack for making you feel really emotionally connected/dependent, some varying degreee of the two, to them. it's all the tough sad times evwryones been through over the years. it sticks with you and really strengthens the connection with them.

but yes! thank you for the love, anon! sending it right back <3

[devilsskettle]

not only was i correct about this and think saying “the story is ONLY about what the story is about!!” is stupid but also i think the substance does more than “beauty standards are bad :( it makes girls sad” thing like i think the criticism is so specific to women in the film industry and not just that it makes women in general feel insecure but ageism is an actual structural issue for women with careers in hollywood and all the double standards and power dynamics involving men and sure that message has been “done before” but the fact that it’s still a problem means those stories need to continue to be told and if men complain that it’s “too on the nose” that means it’s something they can’t ignore just because it makes them uncomfortable. they SHOULD feel uncomfortable! the substance achieves that very well. also there is a fascinating perversion of the mother/daughter relationship at play or at least an intergenerational conflict in which both the older and younger generations of women are commodified but put in competition with each other, blaming each other for the limited spaces for women in their field rather than acknowledging that that limitation is institutionally imposed. etc.

i also think it’s interesting how little i’ve seen about the ending/“elisasue” maybe because of how much body horror is involved, it’s a carrie-esque scene without the audience really being able to project a power fantasy onto it because of elisasue’s monstrous appearance and how completely crushed her aspirations are in that moment. i literally sobbed watching that scene hahaha but i think that the pity it invokes in the viewer is overwhelming and not cathartic in the same way that carrie is, i think it actually discourages identification with elisasue in that moment and like i’ve said we all think we’re carrie in part BECAUSE of the catharsis of the “underdog getting revenge” ending and also because in film adaptations she’s generally more conventionally attractive than she is in the book. so that’s something i was pondering after finishing the substance as well and the roles that women traditionally play in horror which can be ambiguously feminist or sexist depending on your interpretation. i think the substance doesn’t let you wiggle out of discomfort by letting you feel vindication for the main character, it’s just horrible to watch (which is fantastic imo!! i love how horrible it is) but i think some people found it to be a bit much, although i think the audiences who would’ve thought that are not really who this movie is for tbh

anyway i think my instincts were right on this one just from reading the reviews and i’m glad i finally sat down and watched it and gave myself some time to process how i feel about the movie, i’m kind of surprised that people are being as dismissive of it as i’ve seen but again it’s just filmbros on letterboxd that i’ve seen saying that so like. grain of salt etc. although i’ve seen people who otherwise seem to have a positive opinion of the film almost confessionally say it was “on the nose” like that’s a bad thing….. why is that a bad thing lol sometimes subtlety is lost on certain audiences

another thing that pissed me off today was reading letterboxd reviews of the substance by men saying it was too on the nose basically like it hits you over the head with the “shallow, overdone” theme of beauty standards for women in the entertainment industry or whatever and it “doesn’t have anything else to say” (i was under the impression that that WAS the premise of the film??? what more do you want it to say). one guy was like this movie ignores the body positivity movement and the great strides we’ve made as a culture etc etc like shut the fuck up!!!!! shut up!!!!!! apparently you haven’t noticed that we are actively regressing in terms of the body positivity/body neutrality/anti diet culture movements.“beauty” and makeup culture, diet culture, plastic surgery, and other trends and social mores that dictate women’s appearances are extremely ingrained in our pop culture consciousness rn. marketers might use different terms to disguise what they’re doing like the bastardized “choice feminism” but it’s just the same shit repackaged and we’ve barely made any progress. if you think we’re past the point where “beauty standards are bad” is a useful message in a film, you are wrong!!!!! i haven’t even seen this movie yet, i was trying to decide if i wanted to go see this movie, and that attitude just rubs me the wrong way. it’s like trying to find an excuse why people don’t want movies with overtly feminist themes — is it “too on the nose” and unnecessary or do you just not want there to be movies with overtly feminist themes

[discluded]

I’m in legit tears, idk if I read it right but so many Thai fans are saying how Mile said that in those days where everything becomes a bit too much ( the hate that they get) they are always there for each other and Apo being the one that is driving him around and showing him that there will always be more beautiful things than bad 😭😭😭😭their bond is so freaking beautiful the love that they have for each other! The way that they have each others back( he had to say “please be kind to me”). It really is through thick and thin 😭😭 I love them so much. Also to all those miserable people and everyone that sends hate to them, just remember that everything that goes around comes around, (there’s a saying in Spanish “Don’t spit up bc it will eventually fall back down”)

Haha anon, what if. WHAT IF I CRY?!?!? SO WHAT THEN HUH WHO'S GONNA STOP ME

I can't quite tell by the translation, either he's saying that he and Apo used their personal trips to take their mind off the negativity that sometimes popped up, or maybe using an analogy by saying it's like when they take trips and not everything goes as planned (such as the rain) that the journey is still beautiful.

Either way, it's such a lovely world view, and why I feel such deep kinship with the way he conducts himself.

I'm so glad Mile stood up for himself and said: yeah I never reply to the shitty mean comments I see because that's not the type of energy I wanna invite into my life but I do see them and they're hurtful!!!!

I totally agree Mile, the type of energy I try to curate too... (even though complaining in private can be cathartic).

Also I take this as carte blanche permission to fight them for you!!! FIGHTING HATERS CAN BE CATHARTIC TOO

[flecks-of-stardust]

At the risk of coming off as rude again, though, I will say that I've personally got my own problem with much of the Bug Fables Fandom and how (to me) it sometimes feels like...part of me wants to say they take the game too seriously, but that sounds pretty stupid of me to say. Even still, I see people complain that the game didn't delve into darker topics or they wish the game had stronger worldbuilding, and in many ways that is valid! But I don't know, sometimes I genuinely wonder how they care so much. Mainly I think it irks me how often people talk like (again, for lack of better terms) they've got better ideas, or that they can write a better story. I know it's probably not that bad, maybe it just feels that way. I don't know, but it feels like I see posts about it fairly often on Tumblr and I just don't get it. I wonder how much my feelings are painted by exhaustion from the fandom's sheer obsession with angst.

i don't know if i'd agree about the fandom taking the game too seriously. i feel like i see more fluff and silly stuff than i do angst. i also think you're asking the wrong person about this, ngl. i am a Huge angst enjoyer and writer, and i basically specialize in writing darkfic.

it kind of just sounds like you have a preference, honestly. which isn't bad, you're allowed to want lighter things, and you're allowed to enjoy the story for what it is. media doesn't have to be different to be truly enjoyable, and i definitely do love bug fables for what it is now. but for my own specific preferences in media and what i enjoy working with in fiction, i find bug fables lacking.

as for how we care so much, eh. i think that's just preference again. i adore when games explore the dark, fucked up parts of life and loss. i would have enjoyed more stuff like leif's request in the game, and i always get mad at how badly vi's request was handled when compared to leif's request. but you can be satisfied with what you're given. i don't think analyzing and dissecting the media you consume in terms of what you find lacking and what you enjoy is strictly necessary, and i don't think other people getting way too meta about it is bad either.

angst is cathartic, at least to me. that's a big part of why i like it so much. you don't have to share that opinion of mine or of the rest of fandom (apparently), and we'll appreciate the lighter fluff you make too.

[battlinghurricanes]

DEIPHOBUS TIME!

I'm honestly not entirely sure how I got such a deeply involved concept for his character and motivations, but I definitely did. I just feel like he fits into an especially interesting place in everything and that there's a lot of great potential with him.

Shout out to @petalveinedwarrior for enabling me and also I'm very sorry for being incredibly long winded. My bad.

Also DISCLAIMER! I am NOT an expert on the Trojan War and all its surrounding mythology lol. This is just for fun, based on my own fairly limited knowledge of the myths (though I think I pretty much cover everything that’s relevant to this). These are just my headcanons woven with some details from various myths. Sorry if anything’s missing or inaccurate!

SO!

-

First and foremost, I headcanon Deiphobus as the oldest of Priam and Hecuba’s children after Hektor.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, and to me, this is why. They are the closest in age and they were the closest growing up, best friends when they were young. They also get the closest to being on equal footing which means a lot to Hektor, who often feels distance between him and his other siblings because of being heir to Troy.

Despite the relatively equal ground and Deiphobus treating Hektor with a very casual familiarity, deep down, he idolizes him. Deiphobus adores and admires Hektor, ever a younger brother in how he looks up to his strength and intelligence and reliability but close enough in age to not feel the same envy as so many of their younger siblings.

Deiphobus is aware that he is next in line to inherit the throne of Troy after Hektor, and the possibility of that is more real to him than to the rest. He doesn’t envy or want the responsibilities Hektor has to bear being the first son and admires him for it rather than resenting him. He never wants the weight of Troy on his shoulders.

Additionally, as close as they are, Hektor confides more openly in Deiphobus than the rest of their siblings. Consequently, he has a more realistic idea of both the burden he bears and also the ways he struggles to manage it like any human would.

Deiphobus holds Hektor in the highest regard- he means the world to him. It is a strange and unique combination of relating to and understanding Hektor exactly as he is and then loving him so dearly for how remarkably he seems to do in all of it, all that Deiphobus adores and strives to be like.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, but Deiphobus would never need to say the same of Hektor, that much has always been obvious.

Deiphobus himself is ferociously loyal, boastful and fiery proud, wild and energetic, and always quick to smile and laugh with a sharp sense of humor. He’ll defend his own with tooth and nail, Hektor first and foremost, and they make a well balanced pair. Hektor’s level headed sense of responsibility softens many of Deiphobus’s rough edges, and Deiphobus’s enthusiasm breaks through many of Hektor’s more anxiously formed reservations.

Deiphobus would do near anything for Hektor, to a concerning degree in the eyes of some, but Hektor, by his nature, isn't overly controlling. He doesn't want Deiphobus to change how he is. Mostly, the only place Hektor truly pushes him is on moral grounds, for better rather than for worse.

Deiphobus hates to spend time overthinking anything, which benefits him in some ways, but also frequently has him following the example of those around him without considering what might lean towards cruelty. Hektor never tolerates hurtful and needless rudeness or otherwise, and their friendship doesn’t spare Deiphobus his reprimands.

Hektor's needling, though, has him step back and reexamine his actions and the second look is generally what he needs to correct his missteps. Admittedly, he’ll sometimes act better in some way solely to please Hektor, but far more often than not, he’ll come to recognize why it’s best with time and continue that way from his own compulsion.

(He grows and his conscience sounds irritatingly like Hektor.)

Deiphobus is actually one of the best of his siblings at not holding a grudge. He might for drama or humor’s sake, but once a squabble is past, he’ll easily set it aside in favor of having fun with whoever he fought with.

Regardless of his flaws, Deiphobus is amiable and of the opinion that it’s never worth passing up a good time over some pettiness. He’s never one to ignore the value of little joys, no matter how fleeting they are.

Before the war, when he is still younger, there is Antheus. He’s the pretty son of Antenor, and both Deiphobus and Paris are quite taken with him. Paris’s involvement rubs him the wrong way, but he elects to ignore it as best he can. It doesn’t sit right to consider policing Antheus’s actions. He can hardly demand he stop seeing Paris while still insisting on his company, after all.

Besides, he can’t really complain. Antheus favors him with his presence often, laughing at his jokes, stealing off his plate when they share meals, tumbling with him when they wrestle. And when Antheus lifts his hand to idly toy with his lower lip as he smiles slyly at him, Paris is the last thing on Deiphobus’s mind.

Hektor teases him sometimes when he turns up ruffled from some exchange turned overzealous, but his flustered frustration pales in comparison to his excitement, so Hektor gets away with it. Oh, he loves Antheus and the feeling is so heady, better than the most potent wine.

Then it all shatters when some men rush into the palace with Antheus’s limp body carried between them. He was in the gymnasium with Paris, they learn. One throw from Paris with a warped discus and Antheus was gone. Deiphobus stares at the blood soaked in his lovely hair.

Deiphobus is ready to rip Paris apart, but when his brother is guided in after, there’s just no room for it. He’s in complete hysterics, shaking all over as he hyperventilates, and screaming would have gotten through to him no more than their family’s vain attempts to calm him down.

Paris is inconsolable afterwards. He retreats in on himself, though without any attempt to defend himself, first to give himself the blame. He makes for a pitiful sight, and at first, Deiphobus can’t stand being in his presence at all, to take his anger and grief out on him or otherwise.

It doesn’t take that long for Deiphobus’s anger to grow more painful than cathartic anyway and, well, it is hard to lash out at someone acting exactly how he feels. He feels the same heartbreak and pain he sees in Paris and he can’t find it in himself to rage against him when he’d rather just sit and cry himself.

Paris does take it upon himself to face Deiphobus after a time and claim responsibility for what happened that day. Deiphobus doesn’t forgive him, doing that feels... off, but he manages to convey that he won’t turn on him for the accident with Antheus. He thinks that might make Paris feel better but he can’t truly tell.

It all still hurts then, even as they try to get things to settle. Nothing but more time can do anything more to heal those wounds.

And time passes and then Paris returns from Sparta with Helen, and, well.

The brewing war doesn’t drive a rift between Deiphobus and Hektor, but it does force a new distance between them. The pressure on Hektor spikes and never eases, and the time he has to spare becomes exceedingly rare.

Much of the time the two would have spent for themselves together now shifts to working together to manage the complications that come with this new conflict; Deiphobus has new responsibilities to shoulder himself. More work, less play, but the mutual affection and respect between them remains just as strong as before.

Deiphobus can’t help but feel a certain bitterness over having the casual companionship of his brother taken away from him, but he does all he can to set it aside. He refuses to let it be another source of stress for Hektor, so often too caring for his own good, and he doesn’t hold it against him anyway.

As always, Deiphobus remains aware that these tasks could easily have been his and, privately, he feels woefully inadequate in the face of that possibility. And truly, it just serves to make Hektor even greater in his eyes, handling it all with grace he can’t imagine. He knows he’s not perfect, yet still, it’s hard to imagine that anything could ever truly bring Hektor down.

And so, Deiphobus helps his brother in the ways he can and loves him as ever, always ready and eager to fight at his side.

Deiphobus leads a contingent himself, and does it well. It comes easier to him to manage a smaller group like that. He does as directed and guides his men through the fighting. One can say what they will about his ability to lead, but his capability as a warrior is undeniable.

Things shift between Deiphobus and Paris as well. Much of Troy turns on Paris, some faster than others. Deiphobus ignores the greater dramatics which, in his opinion, help nothing. Still, it is often tempting to berate him for his flippant disregard of the battles so he does, which is, admittedly, not entirely unwarranted.

However, Deiphobus and Paris share a mutual, unspoken understanding that they simply cannot focus on the war at all times. Sometimes it must be set aside. This is more often true to Paris than to Deiphobus, but that invites Deiphobus to keep Paris’s company when he can no longer bear all the stress.

In turn, when Deiphobus approaches him like that, Paris can trust not to be reprimanded as he so often is, as that gets ignored along with the rest of it. So there are times during the war where the two can be found together affably, chatting about nothing important. Their personalities can still mesh in such moments.

And, well, it’s shocking how steady things can stay over nine years of war, but they do. Death and loss become far too familiar companions, but they can do nothing but keep fighting through that, and things proceed much as they have been.

Until, of course, Achilles.

With all the cruelty of fate, it of course follows after they get the closest to driving away the Achaeans as they ever have. Such a brief, amazing hope. In his unmatched fury, Achilles slaughters their soldiers, butchers many of his brothers, escapes Scamander’s rage through the grace of the gods, and drives the army behind Troy’s wall with his advance, except for-

Then-

Hektor is dead.

Deiphobus tastes blood in his throat screaming at the sight behind the chariot.

In a way, it’s a blessing that it takes twelve days to get Hektor’s body and another twelve to bury it. With his death, command of Troy and her allies has passed to Deiphobus, and he could barely lead his own horse after losing Hektor, much less an army.

Deiphobus falls to pieces. He can barely process it, losing the one he held in the highest regard, held every confidence in, believed in to his core. Hektor was the best of all of them and now he’s dead, leaving him shattered. Deiphobus is hysterical, wildly heartbroken.

In this time is when Priam first turns on his remaining sons. He lashes out at them as he prepares to ransom Hektor’s corpse, degrading them as the most worthless of his sons. Still half blind with tears of grief he can’t hold back, he thinks that it’s true in the same moment he thinks of how he will now have to take Hektor’s place, worthless ruin though he is.

Most often, Priam refrains from speaking of his remaining sons after that, and in rare, fleeting heartbeats he almost seems contrite over cursing them. Neither is enough though to keep him from savagely reproaching them in unpredictable instances as Troy continues to spiral towards its doom. Deiphobus shakily chokes down his father’s abuse without a word.

Of course, he returns to the battlefield once Hektor is buried, coming to truly learn the crushing weight of his new role. How did his brother bear this? Every day feels like one failure after another; he’s not strong enough, not smart enough to do this. He tries anyway, each day more taxing than the last.

Deiphobus can hardly bear Paris after Hektor’s death. A large part of him hates him for it, desperate to pin the blame on someone despite knowing deep down that he’s not responsible. Though, even then, part of him is drawn to Paris, broken same as him, shaped by a sort of desperation to grieve for their brother with him. Misery loves company.

His anger burns hotter, but now he can’t bring himself to berate him even in the way he did sometimes before all this. He never confronts him with his hatred, such that it is. He simply avoids Paris entirely, knowing that if he indulges in the impulse to curse him for what happened to Hektor, he would fall apart at the seams.

Even now he can’t face the truth of what happened and keep going. It is all he can do to try never to think about it.

And then, with the aid of Lord Apollo, Paris kills Achilles.

The undecided limbo of Deiphobus’s feelings towards Paris topples into something like affection the moment he hears of it, connecting them once more. Paris has destroyed Hektor’s murderer, avenging him, and that matters to Deiphobus more than anything else.

That night, the two of them drink together until it half kills them, close enough to keep knocking shoulders as they revile Achilles with the worst profanities they know. It’s the only celebration they can muster after everything, but they’re both laughing for the first time since they lost him.

(When the night grows damnably late, Deiphobus’s attempt to laugh turns into retching and Paris collapses to the ground when he tries to get up to help. They suffer the agonizing morning together.)

They make a strange pair from then on. Friendship would be a generous word given the still unavoidable tension between them, but they somehow manage to maneuver around that and share a certain closeness. They maintain it despite differences that grind against each other. Sad as it is, it’s one of the only things either of them have left.

Paris and Deiphobus also weather Priam’s spontaneous tirades together. Usually wordlessly, but there is something to be said for the company of someone enduring the same pain you are. It is a quiet solidarity, but a significant one.

They talk of the war far more often now. Every day it devours more and more of their lives, always harder and harder to ignore or set aside. On rare occasions, they do still manage it. Those conversations make for a breath of fresh air, though that does little to stave off the feeling of drowning.

And then Paris takes a poisoned arrow and dies.

Deiphobus doesn’t wail and sob in the same way he did for Hektor. He’s too numb for it now. It hurts in an unnatural, distant sort of way. All he can muster is a ugly, stilted feeling of shame for letting himself come to care for him in the first place. Of course he would die like the rest, he should know this by now. He crumbles further.

After Paris’s loss, there's only two reasonable options for what to do with Helen. Either they need to return her to Menelaus or arrange a new marriage and keep her in Troy.

Helen pleads to be returned to her first husband but Deiphobus competes with Helenus to be the one who weds her. Troy does not stop them. There is a quiet but tangible tension to the city and he doesn’t think their people would tolerate Helen departing. He competes with everything he has left and he wins. And they marry.

That first night, Helen stares at his back while sitting in her new place on his bed. She expected to be treated like a piece of meat, a feeling she's grown well used to through living her life under the eyes of men, but he's barely even looking at her. He fought for her hand with an undeniable, feral sort of desperation. What was it for if he doesn't even want her?

"Why?" she asks him. "Why bother going through every effort to marry me only to be so cold now? What do you want?" Her voice would cut razor sharp if only she wasn't so tired.

He turns to face her with bloodshot eyes narrowed in a glare, riddled with barely restrained anger and grief. "I'm not letting you leave," he forces out and Helen pushes down the urge to scoff because that much is obvious.

"It has to be worth something," he continues. "There has to be something we fought for. If we just let you go back, then it won't have been worth jack shit." He paces, not looking at her again. "I won't allow that. Don't think you can avoid all this so easily now that Paris is gone. There has to be a point. My brother is dead because of this shit! If you're gone, then what would be the fucking point?!"

His brother. He means Hektor. He means Paris. He means every last one of them, so many dead. He means Hektor.

Helen doesn't reply. There is nothing she can say to that. For all that it doesn't make a difference, what he's laid before her is something she knows well. She's spent so long now berating herself and blaming herself for all that's come to pass and she understands. She hates this, all she wants is to go home, but she understands him.

She knows that they both hate each other and themselves all in equal measure. What a wretched pair they make, Helen thinks.

Not that they make much of a pair at all. They're rarely ever together. Deiphobus camps outside whenever he can, and when he can’t, he goes out of his way to avoid her. Helen accepts it as the best she can expect from the truly miserable situation this has become. The war drags on, but the truth hangs in the air that Troy is losing.

Then the horse.

The people, starving so desperately for peace, bring it inside the walls. Deiphobus tries to be cautious. He tries to think of what Hektor would have done. He commands Helen to walk around the horse, calling out in the voices of the Achaeans' wives. If there's some wretched spy or invader, let them show themselves. He'll kill them.

No one answers. Deep down just as desperate for peace as them all, he breathes a sigh of relief and leaves the damn horse.

He hopes the Achaeans filled their mouths with blood, biting their tongues as hard as they must have.

Troy is burning. The Achaeans fill the streets with slaughter; they are everywhere. Reunited with her husband after so, so long, Helen tells Menelaus where Deiphobus is. And so, Deiphobus dies alongside Troy.

(Deiphobus and Hektor meet again in the Underworld and Deiphobus tries to apologize for his failure to keep Troy safe. Hektor will hear none of it, refusing any of the anger he has every right to put on him. Still, a long time passes where Deiphobus silently and anxiously wonders if that was a lie, if Hektor truly does hate him for what happened.

Hektor keeps throwing him tense, unsettled glances sometimes when he thinks he’s not looking, even though he never says a thing. Each one worms further and further underneath his skin and he starts to squirm under the conviction that he’s done something wrong. Something Hektor holds against him.

When it finally grows so unbearable that Deiphobus confronts him about it at last, Hektor flinches and doesn’t disguise his fear and upset. Deiphobus braces himself. But then, mangled in with confusing, ashamed apologies, Hektor recounts for the first time how he died.

Athena luring him to his death in Deiphobus’s shape, speaking in his voice. How he turned to face Achilles believing he had support. When he called for a spear from his brother, he was alone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I think of it at all, I’m so sorry I let you believe I was angry with you because of it. I’m not, it had nothing to do with you, you shouldn’t have to know of it at all. I just- remember it sometimes. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Deiphobus feels nauseous. Hektor looks even more so.

“If I had actually been there-”

“No! Don’t do this. Achilles would have just killed you too.”

“We wouldn’t have died alone, then.”

They clutch at each other, these battered remnants of their souls, carrying with them the wounds of their lives.)

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

Reki and Langa’s dynamic

It’s speculation at my part and a shameless rant on what i like about sk8 just to get it off my chest I’ve been so fixated help

it’s 5am I’m at uni and i have a shit ton to do, am I really gonna make an essay about sk8 instead? yes abso-fucking-lutely. strap on to your metaphorical skateboards kids. this is going to be long ride

this isn’t to call out anyone lol so in case you get that impression I’m sorry. I understand everyone is out to interpret media in whatever they like and that’s fine, but sometimes i feel like either some missed some points of the story? anyway here are my thoughts tho

alright so what i absolutely love about sk8 is how they didn’t make anyone into a genius.Genius is a mockery of the hardships everyone does to attain that level of skills. And no Langa is not a genius or a prodigy which I will explain later. I’ve seen enough shounen animes back in the day and usually it’s ‘annoying heart of gold beginner vs. calm and collected genius’ they usually hate each other’s guts and bicker all the time though secretly, deep down care for each other but would rather die than admit it dynamic. While I’m glad we’re moving past that, I really thought Reki and Langa would be like that so....

imagine my surprise when Langa was the ‘beginner’ in skating. He has the potential to be a second sasuke here lol. (blue, handsome, cool) but no he isn’t. he’s an adorable idiot, an airhead, head empty only skating dude and i love it. 

Reki as well. He could have been the usual protagonist. (sucks at his sport, loud, hardworking, and by the power of friendship he suddenly beats everyone else which i think is pretty overused at this point, don’t you think?) some people complain how Reki despite being the MC isn’t given screentime and hasn’t won a single beef. (and sure that’s true. he should have won some and langa lose some but we only have 12 eps so lol) but he’s not the usual protagonist you know? and sk8 isn’t about winning. if it was, I think they would have focused on the techniques. the hows and the what to do.

Idk if you noticed, but sports anime with winning in its goal would often explain in detail certain techniques. (see haikyuu) but shows like Free and Yuri on Ice isn’t exactly talking about how to win that seriously as Haikyuu did. It’s more focusing on the feelings and how their lives are affected with their passion for this sport. it’s about the character development!!! and i think SK8 is something like that too. It explores the character’s feelings rather than sport. (like what i tell my sister, they use the sport as a character device if that makes sense?)

this was literally in the opening lol. it’s really about the feelings you know?

so anyway it’s been pointed out several times that Reki was already feeling insecure about his skills in skating since ep 1 way before Langa came. But he still likes to skate and despite feeling never enough, he still enjoyed it. (some also pointed out that Reki’s reason of going into a beef against Shadow has been because he insulted his way of skating not because he wanted to be the best) so the show from the get go was already hinting at his self esteem issues.

this also implies that Reki has always been feeling like this in a while, added with his tendencies to bottle things up, it makes sense that he’ll blow up at some point and he’ll need to release all of those feelings. (so yeah i think this is just the right amount of eps for their fall out. i see some people complaining shush. otherwise it would also feel too rushed. this is years weighing him)

and i guess it’s also implied in here he’s had days like these too in the past! seriously it’s an ongoing problem he’s been carrying. i think 3 eps is pretty good enough pace to internalize it

so point: Reki was already down way before Langa came. langa just added to that. And don’t go blaming Langa cause the boy did nothing wrong.

Consider that Langa just lost his dad (i think we need more backstory on this though. please sdsjkdksl i need little Langa and his dad interactions) he just moved countries, and the only connection to his dad (snowboarding) is gone cause it doesn’t snow in OKinawa

though one also argues that Langa hasn’t been snowboarding since his dad was gone.

so for Langa, Reki introducing skating to him was revolutionary. You’re someone grieving over the death of what is probably the most important person in your life, the thing you love the most no longer gives you joy (as was shown in the flashbacks and basically Langa going ‘it’s the same’) and you’re in a new country with a language you barely are fluent. you can’t even read or write, and you barely have friends granted you don’t have much back in the day. it’s horrible.

and then this guy you barely know talks to you, befriends you, helps you get a job, and teaches you something you thought you’ve lost and through that you made more friends??

yeah you see why Langa likes Reki. You also see why he’s obsessed with skating. It’s kind of like a coping, a fixation. plus he’s bad with social cues i guess? the interview says he’s likely to get dumped for being too inattentive lmao and that’s what makes him interesting!

also the thing that really surprised me when they first interacted was how supportive Reki is to Langa. it also got to me with how much Langa thinks highly of Reki. Again a deviation to the ‘i say i hate you but deep down i care for you’ trope. they’re full on supportive and protective. i like that. it’s fresh to me. I thought Reki was going to the tsundere ‘hmph that’s not a big deal’ route at the start of ep 2 but he’s really amazed. (kinda also says he’s been very desperate for someone to share skating with but that’s another topic)

so Reki teaches Langa how to skate. and Langa sucks. Which was interesting to me because I thought Langa would be some flawless prince-like character. But nah. He trips and faints at his own blood lol. He’s so uncool and i love it.

Some people say Langa is over powered with a thick ass plot armor which gets him to win (which is why i see people saying he should have won against Joe and I actually agree that Langa should lose some beefs but again only 12 eps, so little time)

but I still wanna talk about it anyway so it’s revealed Langa was snowboarding since 2. That’s 15 years. I think that should be around the same time Joe and Cherry should be skating. and i think if you start earlier as a kid, your body develops differently. (should Langa, “an amateur” win against Joe a pro? the question falls more on whether you can classify Langa as an amateur) i think it’s like Langa being very used to motorcycle tricks from age 2 then suddenly he’s using a regular bicycle, and sure the feeling is mostly the same but there’s just something off. Your body doesn’t easily forget what you know, especially if it did it for 15 years. and so Reki customizes a board for Langa so it’ll feel exactly like snowboarding

So Langa has a customized board that he needed to get used to before he went pro. He really sucked the first few eps lmao. but that’s more of him getting used to the new rules. he pretty much told Reki in ep 2 that he can’t do a skateboard ollie, but he can do a snowboard one bec it’s attached to his feet.

(i may just want to add that one thing i also like about sk8 is that it really doesn’t care what you need for accommodation? if that’s how you do it best, then go for it. When Langa says to Reki he can’t do the ollie without the board attached to his feet, Reki immediately goes his way to accommodate him. usually people in real life might say ‘it’s not real skateboarding if you need a modification etc. but look at Cherry with a freaking AI board and people are like yeah whatever do what you want man. whatever rolls your board.)

so anyway Langa vs. Joe with Langa winning despite being an amateur? if you can even call him an amateur that is. Plus all his tricks are snowboarding tricks lol. everything he’s done is testament to his 15 years of snowboarding?? We don’t even know how good Langa is in snowboarding. Someone make a post about how difficult the snowboarding equivalent of those tricks Langa has done just to show people it means he’s pretty pro (I’ll even argue maybe Langa’s real talent is his creative ways of going around things which kind of why Adam is highkey obsessed, and calls Cherry who calculates everything to the last second boring but that’s a different can of worms I’m opening later) plus Langa barely won against Joe so there’s not much difference in level i think. Should Langa have lost though?

I think some have missed the point of that beef in Reki’s pov. and if the Renga reconciliation is done well, it would be worth it.

that beef got Reki to realize he what he really wants! that it’ll kill him if he can’t skate anymore! that he doesn’t wanna only cheer on for others and be a support! THAT HE WANTS TO SKATE BY LANGA’S SIDE WHICH IS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS INSECURITIES if Langa lost, that cathartic realization might not have happened. He might have gone to Langa and cheered him up, brushed off his insecurities and, made up with Langa halfheartedly without addressing his problems

I’m going to go back to Reki’s insecurities. In ep 6 he’s been afraid of being left behind, and sure Langa came back for him but he still forgot until midway. (will that parallel how Langa got too excited with the idea of skating, the same feeling he thought he lost forever. The same thing that he thinks connects him with his dad, and might have left Reki behind, but later remembers and goes back to chase him? hopefully) in ep 4 it’s obvious he’s afraid of the near death experience Adam gave him, and he’s just realized how different their skills were. in ep 5 he worries about Langa, enough to get nightmares about it. mixed with his friend getting hurt. it’s obvious the feelings are very very muddled there.

So he begs Langa not to skate with Adam.

And what did Langa do? say that he wanted to skate with Adam. (again he’s not the most attentive. he probably thinks he’s just skating with his best friend, all is good then boom. Reki leaves. as a person shit with dealing with other people, i don’t blame him at all) he’s trying to fix it though, but his bond with Reki primarily revolves around skating! how else was he going to warm up with Reki? He also doesn’t know that Reki has self esteem issues that’s always been there since the beginning. He probably doesn’t understand it too because he holds Reki up highly. in ep 6 when Reki was going over his board, Langa thinks he’s pretty cool. he didn’t hear what other said to Reki. He’s earnestly having fun with his friend

We should also note that Reki was never angry at Langa’s skills, he wasn’t resentful that Langa was far ahead. Again he’s been nothing but supportive. He doesn’t want to pull Langa down. He wasn’t like Miya’s friends that lashed out at Miya for being better. in ep 7 he tries his best to follow Langa

it feels like he’s mostly regretful that he can’t catch up. he doesn’t want Langa to slow down, he wants to go faster and meet him where he was. So it makes the realization that all he wants to do was be in equal with Langa more frustrating because he thinks he can’t keep up. (and this only ever started when he heard he’s like Langa’s plus one. there’s that daunting feeling about being pulled around. not being his equal) 

if you need further proof, when Langa and Joe were having a beef, he wasn’t aggressively hoping Langa would lose. in fact he encouraged him. He worries deeply He calls him out when he was doing badly. Still very supportive as ever. So really the frustration isn’t to Langa, again, it’s all internal. He wants to be better

so he’s feeling shit and Langa goes to him in the middle of the rain, bless langa for trying, thinking talking about skating (what he thinks Reki loves and would probably cheer him up, not knowing that’s exactly his problem) tells him

which is probably the worst he could say.

THAT’S what got Reki mad, not really Reki being insecure though that’s part of it, that’s what they’re fighting about, Reki is angry he’s breaking his promise. He thinks Langa doesn’t care about Reki, that he’ll easily break a promise between them that Reki obviously cares about just so he can go skate with Adam who is way better than him. It blows to the self esteem. Reki probably also think that if only he was better, langa wouldn’t bother skating with someone that dangerous. it doesn’t help at all.

but langa doesn’t know this. he doesn’t see all this. Langa might have been too up the high of skating like in ep 6, he sorta left Reki behind again.

it kinda makes Langa’s mom’s words hit harder though

and he did just that. he got too engrossed.

It parallels adam, cherry and joe’s friendship then probably tadahsi’s too but who knows? reki and langa, and tadashi and adam might parallel too, the master and the student thingy Adam might have gotten too obsessed. So Joe trying his best to make sure Reki and Langa won’t end up like them hits a little harder in my chest ;’)

but Langa won’t be to engrossed i think

because unlike Adam who’s aggressively looking for his ‘equal’, Langa is just looking for someone who makes his heart beat, to make him feel like he’s skating with his dad again, someone he loves dearly. (there’s a parallel about loves here too between Adam’s and Langa’s. but I can’t write it now) and he probably already thinks Reki is his equal anyway. He just wants to have fun. he doesn’t think much about the skills.

maybe at first he does. that’s why he’s drawn to Adam but from ep 9, it was pretty much shown that skills really doesn’t matter from when he skated against Joe

if Adam easily discarded his friends because he think they’re boring (which was why the whole skateboard to the face thing with Cherry), langa doesn’t think like that

if anything Reki is important to Langa because he only has fun skating with Reki, who taught him how to skate and made his board. (his board that was customized to fit his style btw, and arguably the only reason he could skate that well. without it, he might as well be a beginner once again.) so without reki, langa is left with nothing. especially with his broken board

no fun in skating, no way of skating. He’s only manage to get this far because of Reki and he knows that now. All of it would be pointless if he doesn’t have Reki (and either he gets so obsessed in chasing that feeling again, or he stops completely) but in case you haven’t noticed it, Langa’s motivation revolves around having fun with skating no matter the skill or place. And he’s having most fun with Reki.

But Reki obviously doesn't know Langa’s feelings. He thinks Langa was forever looking for someone better. So he’s still caught up in the idea that Langa won’t want to skate with him (even though Langa has never shown this) and he left S entirely, thinking what he wants is impossible. fucking just talk you two motherfucker

(I also wanna point out that Reki has always been shown from episode one to be good at making boards. And that’s amazing? We need some support recognition and appreciation, seriously) I think maybe most who find problem with Reki not winning beefs like the usual shounen protags aren’t used to the nuance and perspective of being someone ‘ordinary’. Reki’s character is relatable because most of us feel ordinary, never enough, surrounded by geniuses, ‘inferior’. And if we’re being realistic since a lot are saying joe should have won because langa winning is unrealistic and you want realism so bad no I’m not salty at all there will always be someone better than you. ALWAYS. but what’s important is for you to have fun in what you love! in what makes you happy! AND even if you’re not good at one thing (in Reki’s part, skating) he’s also good at other things (making boards) so does he need to stop one for the other? no. He’s shown to enjoy skating with Langa, he doesn’t wanna stop it hurts him so much he quit. But he can also hone his skills in making boards as well as skate. He’s equal with Langa in a way he doesn’t even notice when he made that board for Langa, but even Reki’s presence alone makes Langa enjoy skating the way Reki also wants Langa by his side.

So I think the next ep is the best time to confront all these feelings. And how it happens might be what’s tricky. Like romantic or not, i personally can read it both ways though i prefer if they do become canon. (idk if it’s queerbaiting. i guess friends can care as deeply as that but ngl, these shounen bestfriends having deep connections that are written off as friends while also giving us bland af hetero love interests who did nothing but exist and be straight really is messing with my perception of romantic and platonic love irl) anyway their talk better be done really well, or else all those episodes of tension would be for nothing

It’s a nice perspective to give a shounen protagonist this time. It’s new, it’s fresh. How many incarnations of underdog turned the best at their craft can you take? variety is nice! and if you don’t like it, there are always a dozen other animes like that for you to turn to. to conclude, IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE START: WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS???! AND FOR THEM IT’S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BUT IN A VERY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T  SUDDENLY GET YOU TO LEVEL 100000000000 TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES DEFEATING THE FINAL BOSS WORTHWHILE

Anyway tldr; maybe the real Eve is the friends we made along the way :D  and idk if I’m making sense but obviously I’m head empty only sk8. Renga needs to talk, i can’t believe they have the audacity to make a recap episode as if i wasn’t head empty only sk8 since february, and if there’s more emotional edging to come, i will burn some of the palm trees outside my house

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 8, Episodes 8-12

All caught up with RWBY now! (Except for the premium only episode.)

So, two things first: 1. From now on, my blog will no longer be spoiler free for RWBY! I don’t have premium access, so no spoilers for that, but beyond that, I might now reblog spoilers for everything that’s been released to the public. Blacklist “#RWBY spoilers” if you don’t want to see them.

2. I was going to ask what the spoiler policy in this fandom in general is when it comes to premium access. From what I’ve seen, Youtubers usually wait a week before uploading their reaction videos, which I appreciate – but here on tumblr almost no one seems to hold back. I saw a spoiler for “Creation” before it was released publicly. The day episode 13 was released for premium access, I had to unfollow people for posting untagged spoilers for it. And when I went into a RWBY-related tag for one second, I saw a really big spoiler that put me in a very sour mood because it also happened to be very aggressively worded against fans of a certain character (basically, along the lines of “I’m glad X bad thing happened to Y character because I hate them and their fans”). So, that scared the shit out of me and I ended up looking up more specific spoilers about what exactly happened because I wouldn’t have been able to sleep otherwise. So, from what I’ve seen, this fandom’s spoiler policy is just “fuck anyone who doesn’t have premium access” 😒. Always nice to see people being so considerate.

With that said, let’s get into my thoughts on episodes 8-12. Under the cut, because unlike some people, I try to be considerate of others who might want to avoid spoilers.

- So, the Hound really was a person. Specifically, a person with silver eyes and that’s probably what happened to Summer. THANKS, I HATE IT. This is exactly what I feared it would be and what I didn’t want it to be. (I don’t want Ruby and Yang to have to fight and kill their grimm-ified mom, that’s too sad, okay?)

- I love that Whitley really came through and came up with a plan for evacuating everyone! He’s a good bean after all! And that he managed to press that button on the computer before running from the Hound? Amazing.

- Willow Schnee being one hell of a mama bear and summoning a thing to protect Whitley was epic. She was so close to breaking down before that, but then her child was in danger and she just jumped into action right away. Protective mom instincts ftw!

- Blake’s talk about how she looks up to Ruby and how she herself lost the youthful optimism Ruby still has was SO sweet! (Also, Ladybug is an underrated ship/friendship and I really don’t get why people say they never interact? Have you all just forgotten volume 1 and how Bumbleby’s first meeting happened because Yang was trying to wingman Ruby who was trying to befriend Blake??)

- Penny fighting the virus from the inside was amazing, she did so well! I also loved seeing Nora encourage her (and echo Blake’s earlier words back to her).

- Unrelated to these episodes specifically, but I tried to think about who my favourite RWBY charactes even are right now, and I find it super hard to narrow down because I love so many of them, but if I tried to somewhat narrow it down, then (in no specific order because don’t ask me to also come up with an order): all of Team RWBY (though Blake is a personal favourite), Ilia, Penny, Salem, Cinder. (But then again, I also love Winter and Qrow and Robyn and... you get it, it’s hard to narrow down. Oh, and of course Pyrrha, but... you know.)

- “Witch” was honestly my favourite episode of the bunch. That one was just so full of epic stuff. (And now I’m wondering if Salem being one of my favourite characters has anything to do with my love for witches. I used to be obsessed with witches as a kid. In every story I read that had a witch, the witch was always my favourite character.)

- Yang and her team sure found a way inside that whale fast! Also, really handy that Ren’s semblance evolved just in time for when they needed it. But hey, I don’t want to complain about convenient plot stuff too much. Sometimes the heroes are allowed to have a little bit of good luck.

- Hazel listening to Oscar and deciding to get both him AND Emerald out of there was amazing! He really does have a soft spot for kids and wasn’t kidding about not wanting more kids to die – we love to see it! I also think it makes for an interesting parallel that Hazel decided to do this right as Ironwood was sending students to fight on the front lines and Marrow was calling it out.

- I really liked Ren telling Yang she doesn’t have to hide her fear behind jokes. Ren being able to see emotions is going to bring about so many more good moments, I just know it!

- Emerald and “Hazel’s” talk with Salem gets so much better when you know “Hazel” is actually Oscar – Emerald has gotten so much better at illusions and fooled Salem herself! That’s impressive!

- It’s really practical that Ren could sense Emerald’s fear. But also, the group really didn’t have the time to discuss if Emerald was trustworthy – they needed to get out of there asap.

- The way Salem spits out the word “semblance” when she talks to Emerald shows again that she not only underestimates these “new humans” and their powers, but also considers them inferior. It’s a nice little detail how just her tone when she says that word says so much about her worldview.

- Yang straight-up running up to Salem and blowing her up was epic. It didn’t last of course, but it was still a super bold and epic move. I’ve talked before about how cool Yang is and she just keeps getting cooler.

- Yang calling Salem out was amazing and epic, too! And when she referred to Summer Rose as “my mom” that made me tear up just a bit 😢. (I really don’t like Salem’s smile when she says “her again”, though. I don’t want grimm-ified Summer, I really don’t want it, okay? keep it far away from me where I won’t have to see it.)

- I’m a bit sad about Hazel’s death, but it was a really fitting end for his character and a really cool way to go out. The way he looked at all of those kids in danger (proving again that that’s what it’s about for him), whispered “No more Gretchens” to Oscar, punched Salem in the face as she was about to hurt Emerald, injected all of those crystals into his skin (which looked epic, by the way), told Emerald to go, fought an epic fight against Salem and then grabbed her and set himself and her on fire, burning her like a witch – it was epic stuff! RIP Hazel, you died as a hero and went out in an incredibly epic way!

- Hazel’s sacrifice must have been super tough on Emerald. He died protecting her (and JOYR) and it worked. She got away from Salem, but only because someone else, a friend, died for her. Not only must it be awful for her to lose Hazel, she probably also blames herself. (And, as I’ve seen others point out, it was probably the first time in her life an adult did something to protect her. Wow. Someone get this girl therapy, please.)

- The whale getting blown up was an absolutely epic moment. From the music to the cinematography, I loved everything about it. (That said, I will miss the whale. RIP coolest villain lair ever.)

- I loved Watts’ speech to Cinder – and I’m saying this as someone who became a huge fan of Cinder this volume. I love her, but I also love roasting her, and a lot of what Watts said was stuff she desperately needed to hear. I honestly didn’t even like Watts before that moment, but that speech might have made me like him just a tiny bit. The way he just laughed when she dangled him from a building, the way he spelled it out for her that her methods haven’t been working and threw her failures in her face, the ending with calling her “a bloody migraine” – Like I said, I’m a fan of Cinder, but that was glorious and cathartic and beautiful to witness. But what makes it really perfect is Cinder’s reaction: The fact that you’d expect her to kill him or at least scream at him, but instead she spares him and just sits down and cries. I really love what they’ve been doing with Cinder this volume and that they’re finally showing her as someone way deeper than just a power-hungry villain.

- In general, let me quickly talk about Cinder, because even without having seen the last two episodes I can already tell you that she’s my standout character / favourite character of the season. (It was Ilia for Volume 5, Salem for Volume 6, Penny for Volume 7 – and now it’s Cinder.) I said back in my post about Volume 5 that I wish they’d do more with her because after becoming rather interesting in Volume 4 they just went back to making her a pretty flat villain – and I officially have to eat my words and apologize to RoosterTeeth right now! This volume proved to me that they know what they’re doing with Cinder and explained so much about her. I’m sorry for ever doubting the writing. I now want to go back and rewatch the whole show while paying more attention to Cinder and I can’t wait to see where her arc goes from here (yes, I want an eventual redemption, and what about it?). This volume is obviously setting up something big for her – I just have no idea what it is. And at the end of the day, she’s still the Maiden of Choice. She’s the key to the Beacon relic, and that’s going to become important eventually.

- Oh, and can I mention, just by the way, that I think Cinder looks amazing? I don’t understand all the people who say they miss her red outfits when this is clearly her best look yet. The black eyepatch, the cape, the earrings, the short hair, the high boots, the shorts instead of a dress, all the black – this is her absolute best look, period.

- I’ve also noticed that the scene between her and Watts is the first time Cinder has referred to Penny by name. She’s always referred to her with phrases like “some toy” or “Polendina’s creation” before, but this time she just called her “Penny Polendina”, then “Penny” again, and asked Watts how she’s supposed to take Penny’s power “if she’s dead” (not “destroyed”, which is what Watts said, but “dead” – something you say about a person, not a machine). I think somewhere down the line, Cinder has started to see Penny as a person and respect her as the Winter Maiden. Maybe it’s because of how Penny won the fight at Amity, or maybe (though this might be wishful thinking on my part) it’s because Penny questioned why Cinder serves Salem and showed her and Emerald mercy.

- Also, side-note: While I loved Watts’ speech, it sure is bold of him to call Cinder entitled when his own villain origin story is getting overlooked for a science project.

- Neo is an amazing little troll and I love her. From stealing the lamp and skipping along the ruins of the whale happily to those texts to Cinder, all of her moments were brilliant and hilarious.

- Some characters not just forgiving Emerald is totally fair and realistic. But, as I said before (and as Oscar also points out), they don’t have to. People think a “redemption” – or let’s just call it switching sides instead of using such a loaded term – has to include everyone’s forgiveness, but it doesn’t. If Yang and Jaune never want to personally forgive Emerald, that’s okay. They don’t need to forgive her to recognize that she’s changed and work with her. And, as Oscar and Ren point out, Emerald’s abilities would be very useful to have on their side. So, personal feelings are fine and all, but right now they don’t have the luxury to dismiss a potentially very useful ally. (And same for Oz, by the way. It’s fine if they’re still mad at him, but they also need his help.)

- Also, have I already said that I’m very happy for Emerald? Because I’m very happy for Emerald for getting out of there! (Mercury’s and then Cinder’s redemption next, please!)

- F*ck Harriet for trying to get Winter in trouble for letting JYR go. I’m hating her more every second. And then she seriously said “Who cares?” about Ironwood’s plan to nuke Mantle? She’s the most unlikable of them all.

- Everyone’s reunions were so sweet! I loved Ruby and Yang hugging 😭. And Yang cupping Blake’s cheek and their forehead touch had me all 🥰 🥰 🥰.

- After he threatened to nuke Mantle, I hope we can all agree that Ironwood is a straight-up villain now. The most infuriating part is that he didn’t even have to do anything! Whitley and Weiss had figured out a way to save everyone in Mantle and the SDC ships to evacuate people were already there. All Ironwood had to do was let them evacuate everyone to Atlas, and then Penny would have opened the vault willingly and Ironwood could have used the staff to raise Atlas as planned. Problem solved! He should have just sat there and ate his food – but he was so pissed about things not going his way (or maybe he just genuinely hates Mantle that much) that he thought sabotaging the rescue plan and threatening genocide was a better option.

- I loved Marrow’s arc in these episodes and how you could tell more and more that his conscience was making him turn against Ironwood. First he questioned Winter when she was going to nuke the whale before JOYR were back, then he seemed shocked when he thought they were dead, then he tried to talk sense into the other Ace Ops after Ironwood’s ultimatum, and then he straight-up called out Ironwood himself. That last one was dangerous though, and he was lucky Winter was quick enough to jump in and pretend to arrest him, because Ironwood was going to just shoot him in the back.

- Speaking of, I wonder how long Winter has been planning to double-cross Ironwood. How long was she already disagreeing with him, but waiting for the right moment to make a move? Either way, I’m glad she was there to save Marrow.

- The Renora confession scene was so sweet and got me a little choked up 😢. I’m glad they sorted out their issues and told each other how they feel. But like I said before, I think Nora’s arc of trying to find out who she is without Ren is really good and important and Ren respecting that was really good and important as well. It was just a very wholesome scene. Also, I like that we got a little bit more backstory for Nora (her mom abandoned her? that’s awful), and Jaune awkwardly leaving the room was hilarious.

- Robyn telling Qrow he’s a better Huntsman than Clover because he chose to do the right thing was a really important moment for Qrow, imo. (And just a side-note: I’m sure most Fair Game shippers are pretty chill – and I’m a strong believer in ‘ship and let ship’ – but a certain subset of them is starting to get on my nerves with how they ignore Clover’s canon character and story (acting like he would have rebelled against Ironwood if he were alive as if the whole reason he’s dead wasn’t precisely because he cared more about Ironwood’s orders than doing the right thing) and how they make every new plot point about their ship somehow (Oscar’s semblance? Better be a time-travel thing so Clover can come back. Staff of Creation? Better be able to bring people back from the dead so Clover can come back.) It’s so annoying.)

- Yang and Ruby’s talk about their mom was really intense. Ruby’s been holding all of these feelings in for so long, so seeing her say out loud what we’re all fearing (that Summer was turned into a Grimm) and seeing both her and Yang break down over it – that was a lot. I loved seeing Yang comfort Ruby and tell her that her plan for Amity wasn’t useless. Their sisterly bond is so sweet.

- Penny asking Ruby to kill her was another really intense moment. The look on Ruby’s face in that moment really said it all. Ruby has been through so much, has lost Penny before, so hearing that request – even though they fortunately didn’t have to go through with it – must have still been a lot for her.

- I really loved Emerald’s cute “newly reformed villain” moments. (“You guys have been getting your asses kicked… some of that my fault” & “I’m just going to be super pissed if you all finally decide to give up the moment I switch sides.”) I’ve said before (in my She-Ra posts) that my favourite part of any redemption arc is the “former enemies, now awkward around each other” stuff, so this was right up my alley!

- “The girl who fell through the world” was referenced twice now. Between that, the image of everyone falling in the opening, and the lyrics “sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall”, I’m going to predict that someone – most likely all of Team RWBY – will fall into that void and potentially end up in a different world.

- The group’s plan to defeat Ironwood, stop the bomb, and get to the vault was amazing all-around. I love the parts Emerald and Winter got to play in it, I love how we saw the plan’s execution before seeing how they came up with it and I love how everyone got to help, even the Schnees and Klein. I also love that the hole Oscar blasted through the ground of Atlas became relevant again.

- The design of the vault and the door are really nice and now I wonder what the other two are going to look like.

- Saving Penny like that was super risky, but they really were out of options. Just the fact that Ruby had to be quick enough to use her semblance and get to the staff before the virus kills Penny… jeesh, that was close.

- Ambrosius is a super fun character! I love that he looked at Penny and said “I’d love to meet whoever did this.” Also, the staff seems more useful than the lamp. The lamp only lets you ask three questions per century, while the staff can be used as often as you want – as long as you’re okay with whatever it previously created disappearing.

- I honestly still don’t completely understand what Penny is now. Is she meant to be human now? Or is she just a being made up of pure aura? How does this work? Ambrosius only created the copy that destroyed herself, so what’s left is Penny’s aura – but she somehow also has a body now? I guess we’ll find out more about what exactly this means later.

- Also, while I wasn’t sure how I feel about this decision re:Penny at first, now that I’ve thought about it for a bit, I think it works. It fits with the Pinocchio story, and I like that they didn’t phrase it as “she’s a real girl now”, but as “this is the girl who’s been in there all along”. Also, Penny saying “wow” after hugging Ruby and then going on a hugging spree was adorable.

- Watching “herself” self-terminate must have been really traumatic, though. Even if that copy was just a robot, it was still a disturbing scene.

- Who shut down communications in the middle of Jaune’s broadcast? I’m assuming it was Cinder, Watts and Neo.

- The whole dimension with the doorways that Ambrosius created looks amazing. (A while before watching this episode, I wondered if Raven could theoretically save Atlas by getting everyone to safety with her portals. It might not have been Raven, but I’m glad I was at least onto something.)

- “Do not fall.” So, about that… they’re all falling in the opening, (and we referenced “the girl who fell through the world” twice now), so I don’t have a good feeling about that. Also, Watts has been dangled from somewhere high twice now, so the third time has to be when he actually falls down.

- And Cinder is there to ruin the plan because of course she is.

[magpiemorality]

Platonic intruality with Remus as Patton’s guardian angel :0? Idk it’s an idea I had that I don’t think I could execute well but I think you could!! If I may add one more thing, could it be hurt comfort? I don’t wanna specify more because I wanna see what you do with it!!! (Okay bye now ily!)

This spiraled into something monstrous and painful and very, very cathartic. I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone to read, do watch the warnings. And remember; it is a story, and not an instruction booklet. Because of subject matter I’ve put a little summary in so there’s more warning about what’s coming!

And to you Chris, thanks for the prompt. It was special to write, in many ways.

The Hardest Fight Of All

Guardian Angel Remus has been assigned to help Patton Abbott, a sweet high school student with a very normal, decent life; nothing easy to spot for Remus to fight. But if the threat isn’t from outside, then it may be coming from within.

Warnings: Mental Health Issues, negativity, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional self-harm, what might be construed as bad handling of an individual with mental health issues, death mention (metaphorical). 

AO3

***

Patton Abbot didn't deserve his guardian angel. No really. He was sure he was nice enough, and he tried to be kind to everyone he could and forgive anyone that did him harm, but he didn't deserve a guardian angel for that! He wasn't in much danger, he didn't have a lot to complain about, with his perfectly normal life and normal parents and normal school. He even had normal friends! It felt selfish to have a guardian angel when he wasn't suffering at all really, and he hadn't earned it through doing anything particularly good either.

His guardian angel loudly, passionately and regularly disagreed, but Patton had yet to be convinced. Remus was lovely, but there were so many more deserving people that needed his help! He was flattered Remus seemed to enjoy being his guardian angel and hanging around with him but it was probably only because he was forced, and Patton was good at acting nice so at least he hoped he wasn't making the angel's job too awful.

That was if you asked Patton, at least. Remus would have a different perspective on things. But Patton hadn't... actually asked him? Because he was so obviously lying when he insisted Patton did deserve his presence and protection, because Patton didn't deserve it.

Over time though, something changed. Remus started to lose his glow, his wings began to droop and he stopped skipping and floating around above the ground, steps dragging heavier and heavier on the floor. Patton was terrified, constantly checking in with him because Remus was too important to feel bad, or get sick, or whatever it was that was happening! Patton had to help him!

When he woke up one morning to find Remus leaning on the windowsill, gazing despondently out at the garden and the rest of the houses he started to really panic. He had to be hurting the angel somehow, but how?! And how could he fix it?!

"Remus? What- what's up bud? You know you can always talk to me right? I think you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy!"

"I'm not so sure."

"You do!" Patton insisted, placing a hand between his wing joints on his back. "You do so much good, you're always taking care of me and you're so kind and lovely and fun and you-"

"It's taken me a while, you know," Remus interrupted. Patton went quiet apart from a soft, questioning hum. "To figure out why I was sent to you."

Ah. "Well it must have been a mistake, like I said before, but that's okay, you can consider-"

"Patton for the love of the sky and the stars; shut up."

Patton shut up, trying not to let the harshness hurt. He knew he'd been babbling on a bit, so it was probably his own fault, and after all even angels only had a certain amount of patience. And Patton knew he was annoying. But it still hurt just a little bit.

Remus rounded on him, eyes alight for the first time in weeks. He grabbed Patton by the shoulders and steered him back to the bed, sitting him down on the edge firmly and moving back to pace in front of him. Patton waited, still conscious of the reprimand, until Remus finally burst.

"I can't believe it took me so long! Honestly, I wasn't sure there was much to do here; you seemed so happy so much of the time, and you get along with almost everyone! Sure there's the odd bully, but its only ever in situations you put yourself into knowing they'll come, like that video channel thing of yours, and I suppose I assumed you realised you could just leave if you didn't want to see it all. You were so nice to them, too nice! But even when I visited them, sorted that out for you, or got you to spend time away from it, you were still... so hurt. And now, now I see the true problem. It's worse than I thought, and I'm- I'm so sorry I didn't see before, but I'm also angry, and it's not at you but it is-"

Unsurprising, Patton thought. That made sense, after all.

"Because the evil that I'm supposed to battle for you... is you."

Slightly more surprising. "Come again?" Patton asked, apologising quickly for speaking up. Remus bared his teeth as fury flashed over his face, flaring bright again for a moment. He looked... terrifying, but glorious. An angel in battle.

"There is no greater threat to you than yourself. And I don't know how to fight that! I'm angry because I'm sad; why would you attack yourself so viciously day after day, hour after hour, word after word and never afford yourself a single iota of the kindness you afford others?!" He stopped, chest heaving, and Patton felt the weight of an expected answer. He couldn't reply, just shrugging, which only set Remus off again. "You, the nasty horrible thing inside you, it's killing you! You feel like you're dying, and you just let it happen. I don't- I don't know how to fight that, I don't think I can fight that, and you just- " He growled, his morningstar appearing, only partially there, for him to swing in fury. "Everything they say to you that you rail against in public, you bite back against if those very words are turned on your friends with no mercy, you say the same things in your own head. You are so awful to yourself, you're just like them! I cant fight that!"

Patton swallowed. "It's not a big deal," he said weakly, heart hammering in his ribcage.

"But it is! And I can't do my job if you're the one stopping me at every turn! You don't even know you're doing it, or maybe you do and just pretend you don't, I'm not even sure anymore. But you desire so much better, why can't you take your own damn advice?! I don't- I don't think you even want to feel better sometimes, you've turned your suffering into so much of your identity. Do you actually like being this way...?" He cut off, narrowing his eyes at Patton suspiciously. Patton felt part of him squirm under that gaze, but another small part was quietly begging for the angel to go on, to finish lancing this horrid, deep-seated, ancient boil of Bad.

"It's not fair!" Remus finished. "You're doing it to yourself! Do you know how easy that is to stop?!"

Those were the words that finally got Patton up on his feet. Because no matter the truth of the rest of it; that was a lie. "It's not easy! It's not!" Thoughts of therapy and mental health diagnoses and the difficult of facing everything alone when it was easier to just suffer and frame it in martyrdom and help everyone and hope, pray that one day someone would help him too.

(And then push it away away away when that same help was offered back, falling into misery when that endless push- desperately testing his friends to their limits because he knew they'd get tired eventually- turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy as they ran out of support to throw against his walls of self-hatred and negativity)

Remus stepped forwards until they were chest to chest, gazing down from his height, fully blazing bright in the innocuous setting of Patton's bedroom. "But it is. If you want to."

Patton sat down again with a thump, feeling faint and nauseous. There was a moment of silence before he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to hide his face in. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. Because of the horrible cruel words? Because he didn't deserve even this harsh kindness (that felt like staring at the sun without protection or touching electricity, raw and painful and unfiltered for his comfort) after how awful he'd been? Because... because it felt terrible to even think about the fact that this could be his fault in some way?! And now Remus hated him just like the rest and he was going to leave and Patton would be alone and-

Two warm, gentle hands came up to cup his face and tilt it back into view, and Remus was there, looking stern and serious but not angry anymore. The relief that flooded through Patton was almost euphoric, like the weight of the entire sky lifted back up off his lungs. "I can't fight this battle alone, Patton," the angel said. "And I can't fight it at all if you don't truly, deeply, one hundred percent want me to fight it. To do that you need to understand that it's your battle too, that you have to put your armour on and go to war alongside me, if we're to have any chance at success. Because right now you're on their side, and you're sabotaging us from within."

"But it's my condition! My brain doesn't-"

"You think I don't know about that?" Remus frowned, rubbing his cheeks gently. "You've got medication. You've got a therapist, you have people who are trying their hardest to love and support you. But you can't survive the ocean on a raft of other people's making. It will stop you sinking, for a time- perhaps even for a long time, but you won't get any closer to shore unless you start to paddle. And as you paddle you'll also have to patch up any cracks in the raft with your own hands, perhaps with the materials you're given but the work to stitch it all together and sail it has to be your own. It's- I'm not a fan of metaphors but do you see? You can't be the only one not contributing to your own recovery."

"I'm not recovering from anything, I just have a negative self image and... and some other things. But they're bad! They're not things you get better from-" Patton tried, voice trembling and weak. Remus just looked at him, hands still on his face.

"Aren't they?" He asked simply. "You don't think you could ever manage to feel better than you do right now? You think all the stories of people improving their lives are... made up? You think, perhaps, that the medication is all a placebo, that once you've labelled the problem it's made permanent and nothing can ameliorate the symptoms or make life easier to live?" The angel leaned in and dropped a kiss to Patton's forehead, leaving a warm tingling in its wake. "The world would burn, if that were true," he whispered, before standing up.

Patton just kept on sitting in silence, face itching as his tears started to dry on his skin.

Remus gave him a small but real smile. "You've got plenty to think about. Consider my pitch; without you I will continue to fight the war, hopeless though it may be, but with you..." He grinned properly then. "Oh the things we could achieve, dear one."

And off he vanished, in a flutter of feathers and the sound of moving light.

It left Patton feeling as though, in the space of only maybe half an hour, the entire world had changed around him. He wondered, as he lay down on his bed, exhausted and reaching for his favourite plushie for comfort, whether what Remus said was what his therapist secretly wanted to say. It was a funny thought, mild-mannered Dr Picani ranting like the passionate angel, but Patton barely managed a lift of his lips. He needed to rest, and then he'd start to think about all this. If it wasn't true, if the angel was mistaken, seeing things that weren't there because of how boring it was being Patton's guardian; then nothing really needed to change except he would renew his efforts to get Remus reassigned.

If it was true though? Then that changed everything, and Patton Abbott would have a lot of hard work ahead.

He wished he knew which one he was hoping for.

-

[theshinsun]

please I Am Begging You do that 20 questions for OT3s with AoKagaKuro

asdfgggdfhjkk ok here we go! prepare for Length...

Who sleeps in the middle?

Kuroko. he gets cold the easiest and likes to be smushed between his two giant bfs. he’s also often the peacekeeper stopping them from kicking each other and stealing the blankets. they both get their share of his ice cold toes and fingers that way, and he’s such a light sleeper that once they’re in that position neither of them can move for fear of waking him up, but none of them would have it any other way.

Who is the best cuddler?

Kagami. he’s like a giant snuggly teddy bear, gives the very best hugs and is always the big spoon no matter who he’s cuddling with. and he’s okay with that. in fact he loves it, whether he’s holding Kuroko or Aomine or both at once, he loves that he can just wrap around them like an octopus and make them feel safe and loved. 

Who gets hurt the most?

Kuroko. Kagami might be the biggest klutz of the three but he also doesn’t bruise easily. meanwhile if Kuroko so much as stubs his toe it turns purple and he’ll be limping for a few days. he’s also the one most likely to get in trouble and get scraped up on purpose, whether he’s skinning his knees trying some new technique he’s not prepared for, or picking a fight and getting decked by someone twice his size, he’s always sporting a new bruise or band-aid and getting chastised by his overprotective bfs who are honestly just as bad... just less likely to show it.

Who acts like the baby?

Aomine. obviously. this guy is an oversized toddler in big boy clothes. he’s always pestering for attention and whines and complains when he doesn’t get his way. he’s a picky eater and can throw actual tantrums if he’s annoyed enough -- and usually the root cause is him not getting enough sleep. he’s also treated like the baby of the family, with both Kagami and Kuroko feeding him and taking care of him, but honestly, neither of them mind it much. 

Who teases the others the most?

also Aomine. he’s especially prone to poking and picking at Kagami because he knows just what buttons to press and likes to get him riled up. he can’t seem to resist taunting and provoking him at any given opportunity, and he’s just as quick to tease Kuroko, when he can. the difference is rather than turning red and potentially starting a fight, Kuroko will just coolly sass him right back and move on with his day.

Who proposes?

I’m sorry but I can only see Aomine being the one to propose (or at the very least, being the first one). under the exterior, he’s a useless sappy romantic and would probably either insist on doing things proper, buying a pair of rings and getting down on one knee and all, OR randomly blurting it out during dinner with no planning or preparation or anything. either way, of course they both say yes. 

Who is the most protective?

Kuroko. looks are 100% deceiving here, he’s physically the smallest but mentally and emotionally, he’s the toughest of the three and he’ll go to the ends of the earth to defend the people he loves. he would absolutely put himself in danger to protect the others and worries about both of them a lot (sometimes needlessly, but there are times they do need it). Kagami and Aomine both put up a tough act, and follow Kuroko around like his personal bodyguards, but don’t be fooled, he’s the one you need to really watch out for.   

Who is the closest to the child? (Whether it be a fur baby, scale baby, or human child.)

either Aomine or Kuroko... probably both equally. they’re very emotionally-driven people who love animals of all shapes and sizes (Kagami would have some trouble if their fur baby happened to be a dog -- and considering Nigou that’s a very likely possibility). both of them would form a strong connection with any baby the group decided to have. that’s not to say Kagami wouldn’t also be close to a child or pet and love them, but he’s just a little bit more distant and guarded than the others and it would definitely take him some time.

Who gives the best advice?

Kuroko. he’s (usually) the only one with a brain cell to speak of, and has a lot of practical knowledge and common sense. he has difficulty separating his emotions from a situation to look at it objectively, so he can be a little biased with what he suggests, but it’s still good advice, just the same.

Who is like a therapist?

Kagami. unlike Kuroko, he doesn’t always know what to say or what to suggest, but he is a good listener, and easy to talk to, so he lets the others vent to him and work through their issues, and often finds himself on the receiving end of a long and cathartic story or rant from one or both of them. he’s also much better at looking at things objectively; nine times out of ten he’ll bluntly point something out that makes the others look at things from a new angle, because it’s so obvious to him as an outsider but they’re too wrapped up to see it.

Who sings B and C to sleep?

Kagami. I hc that he can sing in three different languages (English, Japanese and some Spanish), the others especially like when he sings in English, and he indulges them since he’s probably going to be up the latest anyway. sometimes Kuroko also tries his hand at a lullaby, but he doesn’t have the instant power to knock Aomine out that Kagami does. 

Is the relationship healthy?

I mean... is any relationship completely, 100% healthy? as relationships go, they have a very good balance between them and there’s a mutual, three-way respect that they all maintain with each other. they’ve got problems and character flaws, of course, they’re very different people and things aren’t always going to be perfect, but they love each other and are all willing to put in the work when it comes down to it.

Do A and B have a stronger bond with each other? Or do C and B or C and A have a stronger bond? Or are A, B, and C close together [equally]?

they’re all close with each other in different ways. not necessarily equally all around, just... their individual relationships within the greater whole have different strengths and shortcomings. It breaks down something like this:

Kagami and Kuroko are probably the most stable with each other. there’s trust and affection and good communication between them, and they’re on very equal footing. the trouble is, because they usually work together so well, they’re not very good at reconciling when they don’t, and things can build up between them that they don’t acknowledge until their whole balance crumbles. 

Aomine and Kagami are in tune with each other in a way that’s almost instinctive, they finish each other’s sentences and seem to always be on the same wavelength. they don’t require much from each other, and have a kind of simple ease in each other’s company, when they aren’t getting in each other’s faces. the downside is they aren’t very good at communicating, and tend to avoid difficult subjects and saying what they really mean.

Aomine and Kuroko have history, are probably the most sappy and romantic with each other, and share an almost indescribably intimate bond built up over years, but they’re also the most likely to argue (not just petty squabbling like Aomine and Kagami, or old-married-couple bickering like Kagami and Kuroko, but actually fight and hurt each other). they’re also terrible about enabling and egging each other on and probably get into the most ridiculous situations because they’re somehow the best and worst combination of personality traits at the same time.

Who can be trusted to be left home alone?

Kagami. he’s the only one. do not leave either of the others home alone they will burn the house down, either accidentally or as a result of getting bored and thinking “I wonder what happens if...” (famous last words).

Who cries the most?

Kuroko, by default. he cries about as much as any normal, healthy person would. Kagami doesn’t cry hardly ever, to the point that it’s a little concerning sometimes, and when he does it’s a Big Deal. Aomine cries every now and then, but doesn’t really feel comfortable doing it in front of other people so he’ll usually try to hide it or hold it in.

Who is the softest?

like... physically, or emotionally? you know what, Kagami for both. he’s a great big softy under the tough exterior, and even though he’s the most physically jacked, he’s got enough meat on his bones to have some nice give and be very comfy to lie on.

Who is the shortest?

Kuroko. ....we been knew.

Who is the tallest?

Aomine. again we been knew; he’ll hold that little 2cm sliver of height he’s got on Kagami over his head until the end of time.

Who likes cuddles the most?

Aomine. he will seek out cuddles every chance he gets, he flops down next to both of the others and nudges them like a cat, or just muscles his way into their space until they have to accommodate him or risk falling off the couch. 

Last of all, who sings terribly in the shower?

oh dear god. you know what, I think it’d be really funny if it was Kagami. it’s boggling because he can sing perfectly well, they all know it, but for some reason when he’s alone and using the body wash as a microphone he lets loose and goes completely off-key and it’s awful. the others love it though (even if they’re confused) because it sounds like he’s having fun, at least.

[zynart]

stop complaining about sjws and get a little empathy

Here’s my hot take: people dismissing social justice folks for being angry need to get some empathy

This might sound harsh but don’t get defensive and stick with me. If you value calm and civility and reasoned debate, you can live with that

The thing is, it’s understandable to be angry or even overreact sometimes when society’s constantly shit to you.

Being able to either be unaffected by an issue, or have the fortitude to be calm no matter how much it upsets you, shouldn’t be a prerequisite for your thoughts to be valid. If anything, shouldn’t it be the other way around: if “SJWs” are angry, why not try to understand what about society is that upsetting for a given person? Why not try to understand why they might be angry?

Why not have approach it with generosity, thinking of them as people as fully human as you are, as people who collectively have similar human thresholds for bearing suffering or injustice, who rightly have anxieties and fears and resentments about the state of the world?

Why not think of them as people who deserve the same respect and empathy, where we don’t demand that every single one stay perfectly calm and be perfectly informed and study up on the details and have the rhetorical fluency to be on fair playing ground against some 36-year-old conservative doing tours on campus

Why not listen—in good faith, with a fair representation of their concerns, instead of Weissian strawmen or cherry-picked examples—to the angry, period?

If you’re actually trying to understand a social phenomenon, and not just nursing some generational resentment about how the kids these days listen to too much rap music, or bitterness at the idea of being challenged, or if you’re not just making a public spectacle of your own process of resolving the cognitive dissonance between your view of yourself as a brilliant defender of liberal and updated social norms—which I honestly realize can be a psychologically distressing experience, with how much a central thesis of this file may be that so much of the dysfunction of Online is that we’re all flawed human beings lashing out at each other over our discomfort with resolving cognitive dissonances, which I can see particularly stings if you’re thin-skinned and take it very personally—where you’re taking the idea that you may be less relevant or valuable or correct as ideas march on, or just opposed to change, or even just in deliberate bad-faith instead of self-deluding bad-faith

Instead of all this, why not be constructive. Why not try listening to the hurt, to people who feel oppressed, to try to understand what’s causing it and trying to find a way to make it better?

People don’t like being angry. It might feel cathartic sometimes, and that might feel good sometimes, but nobody likes being angry and the idea that people passionate and furious about social injustice just like being angry is condescending and dehumanizing, just a little bit, isn’t it?

People don’t like being mad! Being angry doesn’t generally feel good. It sucks. It’s draining. People aren’t doing it for fun. People aren’t just having a lark when they speak up about things that, more often than not, will get them flooded with both well-meaning condescension and outright harassment. There may be a few exceptions, but assuming that everyone that’s upset about the way things are is just that is an extremely uncharitable view of humankind: odds are, for any group of people, they’re fundamentally just like you, and that includes the vocally angry and the outspoken.

If a group of people in society is upset about something that they experience, it’s just a bit callous to demand that every one of them meet a certain standard of calm and respectable. People that can remain calm are the exceptionally reserved. People who remain calm are going above and beyond what we should expect of them so they can try to politely convince everyone else. That shouldn’t be the expected standard, that should be seen as a gesture of politeness

Even within movements, even among people who share the same goals, there seems to be this expectation: the idea that those in a movement that are angry or upset are embarrassing and counterproductive and a hindrance to achieving your goals, that they are people you need to quickly disavow so that the people you’re trying to convince will take you seriously.

I understand that impulse. It can be frustrating. But it’s still kind of a shitty thing to do

Abandoning the parts of your movement that express themselves in less “acceptable” ways is starting from weakness, already ceding ground.

You shouldn’t play along in invalidating your movement. You should demand that their anger be taken seriously, explain that it’s a valid response. You should view yourself as a representative or an ambassador for that justified anger, and for all those folks that are justifiably angry

If I’m part of a movement and I’m calm enough to be identified as a “reasonable” social justice person, why the fuck would I embrace being used as a bludgeon to discredit the valid anger and reasoning of people who believe the same things? My calmness doesn’t refute their anger, it complements it.

[back to home]

[woodyclawson]

( MILO VENTIMIGLIA + CISMALE ) —  Have you seen WAGNER ‘WOODY’ LAWSON ? This FORTY-ONE year old is a/an BARN MANAGER who resides in STATEN ISLAND. HE/HIM has/have been living in NYC for FOUR YEARS, and is/are known to be STEADY and HUMBLE, but can also be BLUNT and DISSONANT, if you cross them.  People tend to associate them with THE SMELL OF FRESH HAY and AGED WHISKEY

Name: Wagner ‘Woody’ Lawson

Age: Forty-One

Birthday: January 25, 1979

Sign: Aquarius

Neighborhood: East Kingsboro

Home: Quaint two-bedroom home with a small yard

Occupation: Barn Manager

Character Quote: “Sometimes I feel like Jesse James / Still tryin’ to make a name / Knowing nothing’s gonna change what I am” ~Troubadour by George Strait

Pos. Traits: Hard-Working, Steady, Humble

Neg. Traits: Blunt, Firm, Dissonant

Likes: farm work, aged whiskey, loping through the open country

Dislikes: people who push around others, well-done steak, warm beer

Aesthetic: tennessee whiskey, the smell of fresh hay, roping

Born in Tennessee Wagner Lawson was raised along the banks of Mississippi mud, never given a chance to be anything but the down-home country boy, which had always suited Wagner just fine. His daddy was a colt starter and former rodeo champion, having won national titles for roping and reining. From the moment Wagner could waddle he was following his daddy around everywhere, at first just watching as his father worked and as he got older helping with the chores himself. He found that spending time tending to the many horses cathartic and volunteered for just about any chore that would get him around them. Never once did he need to be asked to pitch in to do what was needed at the family ranch, from picking vegetables in the garden for his mama to helping his daddy check the cattle fences. As far as most childhoods go, his was pretty perfect. Sure, sometimes his dad drank too much and sometimes his mom just would not stop fussing over him, but he had no cause to complain.

His father, seeing his boy take an interest in horses at such a young age decided to help Wagner begin to follow in his footsteps. As a kid he enrolled Wagner in the pee-wee portion of rodeos where his wife would take pictures of the young boy struggling to stay on the back of a wildly running sheep, but in the end, he stayed on. He almost always did. With natural talent like that his father was quick to get his son started on the path to becoming a bull-rider. His mama threw fits and got into fights with his daddy, it was too dangerous, he could be hurt, killed even, but as he got older and started to have a mind of his own there was nothing that he wanted to do more. So he practiced, and practiced. By sixteen he was competing on broncs, a safer alternative to the bull, and was cleaning up at junior rodeos, his room becoming full of belt buckles, the tack room full of all the special made trophy tack he had won. But being bucked was far from his only talent. At age ten he had broke his very first colt and at twelve he was winning local roping competitions. He even became adept at helping his dad sort and catch cattle, something he was never fond of but did anyways as it was expected of him. Despite how it sounds, his childhood wasn’t all work. While never the best in school he managed to get passing marks and had a group of boys he roughhoused and fucked around with who were constantly getting him into trouble as a teenager.

Fast forward a few years and he was one of the hottest young bull riders to hit the circuit. But his career as a rider didn’t last as long as anyone would have hoped. The reason? He fell in love. Some would have called the pretty woman he fell in love with a buckle bunny, what with her affinity of dating all the big rodeo stars, but when him and her spent one night together the rest was history. Now twenty-two and married with a baby on the way, Wagner knew he could not be as hell mell as he had been for the past few years. He now had a family to think about; and so, he quit bull riding and switched exclusively to broncs. It was still dangerous, but the risks less than if he was on the back of a bull. Life went on and for the most part the little family was happy, until tragedy struck. On the night of his twenty-eighth birthday, with his wife and little girl in the stands, he overtightened the strap around his hand. At first everything seemed to be going well, he had one of his best times, but as he threw himself off the bucking bronco his hand caught. It was an instant disaster. The animal began to panic, bucking harder and higher, with Wagner hanging on for dear life. His only blessing was that the first hoof to his head knocked him out cold. He was rammed into the side of the fence and drug for minutes before those in charge of wrangling the horse were finally able to calm it down. In the midst of the chaos, his wife, fretting over her husband, had not noticed her daughter slip down through the stands calling out for her daddy. No one noticed her presence in the ring until it was too late. All it took was one wrong move from the frightened animal and the sunshine of Wagner’s life was no more.

The blow to Wagner’s own head had been so severe that he was kept in a medically induced coma for two-weeks, giving the wounded flesh time to heal. When he awoke, his whole world was shattered. He grieved, and as he did his grief turned to anger. Anger at the situation, anger at the long arduous healing process, and anger at himself. But all that anger had to go somewhere, and with the only person around during his recovery being his wife, she took the brunt of it. It took him a little over a year to fully heal physically, and during that time he began to develop a dependency on his pain medication. He spent his days sitting in front of the tv drinking beer after beer on top of the opiates as his wife worked in a small diner to try and keep the roof over their heads. One day, a year and half after the tragic accident, the woman had decided that she had had enough. She gave Wagner an ultimatum, get help or she was gone. It led to largest fight yet, a massive blowout that made it clear where Wagner stood.

At that point he was nearing thirty and with nowhere else to go moved back in with his parents. His father though older now was still tough as nails and no patience for his son’s pansiness as he called it. He put Wagner to work. Sober or not he was expected to help, and if he didn’t, God help him. At first he railed, his rage boiling over and eclipsing everything. Rather than argue with his son, the elder Lawson simply gave him a new task. It would be his only job- start the colts. It was something Wagner had used to excel at, but his anger and rage at the horse’s mis compliance made things difficult. The gentle animals became scared of him and began to lash out. One colt in particular, a beautiful bay, resented Wagner more than any of the others, and he let him know it. That was Wagner’s wake up call. He ended up forming a bond with that colt that pulled him out of his stupor and set him back on track. His special relationship with that animal also earned him a nickname, Woody, because wherever Woody went, Buzz followed. Buzz and Woody quickly began racking up wins in roping and reining competitions, and for the next years, Woody allowed himself to feel the happiness that had come into his life. The two traveled all over the countryside, with Woody picking up odd jobs such as stable hand or working cowboy. Until one competition where in the middle Buzz came up lame with an injury too bad to fix, leaving Woody the tough choice of having to put his beloved companion down.

That was four years ago. Woody now resides in Staten Island, working at the local equine therapy and riding lesson program center. He’s the barn manager, the one in charge of making sure the stable hands are doing their job and that the horses are receiving the correct care. It’s a big job, and one he takes seriously. Being around the majestic animals once more is helping him slowly heal, correctly this time, from all the bad that has happened to him. It is a hard road to hoe, but step by step he’s doing it. Perhaps one day he’ll once more be ready for a horse of his own.

[wxlawson]

[ WAGNER ‘WOODY’ LAWSON. 42. CISMALE. HE/HIM] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ THREE YEARS ] and are originally from [ TENESEE]. They are a [ MANAGER AT A DUDE RANCH ] and in their downtime love [ COLT STARTING ] and [ TAKING NAPS IN THE HAYLOFT ]. They look a lot like [ MILO VENTIMIGLIA] and live [ IN OASIS APTS ]

Name: Wagner ‘Woody’ Lawson

Age: Forty-Two

Birthday: January 25, 1979

Sign: Aquarius

Home: Quaint two-bedroom home with a small yard

Occupation: Manager at a dude ranch

Character Quote: “Sometimes I feel like Jesse James / Still tryin’ to make a name / Knowing nothing’s gonna change what I am” ~Troubadour by George Strait

Pos. Traits: Hard-Working, Steady, Humble

Neg. Traits: Blunt, Firm, Dissonant

Likes: farm work, aged whiskey, loping through the open country

Dislikes: people who push around others, well-done steak, warm beer

Aesthetic: tennessee whiskey, the smell of fresh hay, roping

~bio~

Born in Tennessee Wagner Lawson was raised along the banks of Mississippi mud, never given a chance to be anything but the down-home country boy, which had always suited Wagner just fine. His daddy was a colt starter and former rodeo champion, having won national titles for roping and reining. From the moment Wagner could waddle he was following his daddy around everywhere, at first just watching as his father worked and as he got older helping with the chores himself. He found that spending time tending to the many horses cathartic and volunteered for just about any chore that would get him around them. Never once did he need to be asked to pitch in to do what was needed at the family ranch, from picking vegetables in the garden for his mama to helping his daddy check the cattle fences. As far as most childhoods go, his was pretty perfect. Sure, sometimes his dad drank too much and sometimes his mom just would not stop fussing over him, but he had no cause to complain.

His father, seeing his boy take an interest in horses at such a young age decided to help Wagner begin to follow in his footsteps. As a kid he enrolled Wagner in the pee-wee portion of rodeos where his wife would take pictures of the young boy struggling to stay on the back of a wildly running sheep, but in the end, he stayed on. He almost always did. With natural talent like that his father was quick to get his son started on the path to becoming a bull-rider. His mama threw fits and got into fights with his daddy, it was too dangerous, he could be hurt, killed even, but as he got older and started to have a mind of his own there was nothing that he wanted to do more. So he practiced, and practiced. By sixteen he was competing on broncs, a safer alternative to the bull, and was cleaning up at junior rodeos, his room becoming full of belt buckles, the tack room full of all the special made trophy tack he had won. But being bucked was far from his only talent. At age ten he had broke his very first colt and at twelve he was winning local roping competitions. He even became adept at helping his dad sort and catch cattle, something he was never fond of but did anyways as it was expected of him. Despite how it sounds, his childhood wasn’t all work. While never the best in school he managed to get passing marks and had a group of boys he roughhoused and fucked around with who were constantly getting him into trouble as a teenager.

Fast forward a few years and he was one of the hottest young bull riders to hit the circuit. But his career as a rider didn’t last as long as anyone would have hoped. The reason? He fell in love. Some would have called the pretty woman he fell in love with a buckle bunny, what with her affinity of dating all the big rodeo stars, but when him and her spent one night together the rest was history. Now twenty-two and married with a baby on the way, Wagner knew he could not be as hell mell as he had been for the past few years. He now had a family to think about; and so, he quit bull riding and switched exclusively to broncs. It was still dangerous, but the risks less than if he was on the back of a bull. Life went on and for the most part the little family was happy, until tragedy struck. On the night of his twenty-eighth birthday, with his wife and little girl in the stands, he overtightened the strap around his hand. At first everything seemed to be going well, he had one of his best times, but as he threw himself off the bucking bronco his hand caught. It was an instant disaster. The animal began to panic, bucking harder and higher, with Wagner hanging on for dear life. His only blessing was that the first hoof to his head knocked him out cold. He was rammed into the side of the fence and drug for minutes before those in charge of wrangling the horse were finally able to calm it down. In the midst of the chaos, his wife, fretting over her husband, had not noticed her daughter slip down through the stands calling out for her daddy. No one noticed her presence in the ring until it was too late. All it took was one wrong move from the frightened animal and the sunshine of Wagner’s life was no more.

The blow to Wagner’s own head had been so severe that he was kept in a medically induced coma for two-weeks, giving the wounded flesh time to heal. When he awoke, his whole world was shattered. He grieved, and as he did his grief turned to anger. Anger at the situation, anger at the long arduous healing process, and anger at himself. But all that anger had to go somewhere, and with the only person around during his recovery being his wife, she took the brunt of it. It took him a little over a year to fully heal physically, and during that time he began to develop a dependency on his pain medication. He spent his days sitting in front of the tv drinking beer after beer on top of the opiates as his wife worked in a small diner to try and keep the roof over their heads. One day, a year and half after the tragic accident, the woman had decided that she had had enough. She gave Wagner an ultimatum, get help or she was gone. It led to largest fight yet, a massive blowout that made it clear where Wagner stood.

At that point he was nearing thirty and with nowhere else to go moved back in with his parents. His father though older now was still tough as nails and no patience for his son’s pansiness as he called it. He put Wagner to work. Sober or not he was expected to help, and if he didn’t, God help him. At first he railed, his rage boiling over and eclipsing everything. Rather than argue with his son, the elder Lawson simply gave him a new task. It would be his only job- start the colts. It was something Wagner had used to excel at, but his anger and rage at the horse’s mis compliance made things difficult. The gentle animals became scared of him and began to lash out. One colt in particular, a beautiful bay, resented Wagner more than any of the others, and he let him know it. That was Wagner’s wake up call. He ended up forming a bond with that colt that pulled him out of his stupor and set him back on track. His special relationship with that animal also earned him a nickname, Woody, because wherever Woody went, Buzz followed. Buzz and Woody quickly began racking up wins in roping and reining competitions, and for the next years, Woody allowed himself to feel the happiness that had come into his life. The two traveled all over the countryside, with Woody picking up odd jobs such as stable hand or working cowboy. Until one competition where in the middle Buzz came up lame with an injury too bad to fix, leaving Woody the tough choice of having to put his beloved companion down.

The loss of his friend sent Wagner ass-first back into the destructive patterns of his life, drugs and alcohol once more waging war inside his body. Only this time he wasn’t a young man, and the substances were taking a heavy toll on his health, not that he cared. His parents, unable to reach him, packed his things and kicked him out. Woody’s father, unable to completely give up on his son, reached out to an old friend who owned a dude ranch an hour outside of LA. For over a year Woody lived there, forced to claw his way back to sobriety through back-breaking labor. The option was always there for him to quit the job, fend for himself, but the company of the horses and being the source of looking after their well-being brought him back from the brink much like it had the last time. A year and a half later he was completely back on the wagon, though he can be known to slip with the drinking whenever the subject of his daughter is brought to the forefront of his mind, mainly around birthdays, his and hers, as well as holidays. 

Wanting more independence Woody turned in his resignation, thanking his father’s friend for getting him back on his feet. Much to his surprise, rather than accept his two weeks notice, he offered Woody a promotion: to oversee the entire running of the dude ranch. It is a big job and one he takes very seriously, knowing that the overall welfare of the horses depends on him, even if he is no longer responsible for their day to day care. That was three years ago.

Since then he’s moved into an apartment at Oasis Apartments in Silver Lake, a place where he could have his freedom yet still manage his responsibilities. Anyone who’s ever been inside his apartment will say it looks like a country movie blew up, with saddles scattered on stands throughout the place and rodeo memorabilia hung up throughout, but for him, it’s the closet thing to home.