#like i get it when my mom does it bc she's never been like. attentive
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really would love if both my parents could respond to my achievements with more than a "cool" and actually respond when i ask if they'd like to go to the opening reception of my art being on display lmfao
#like i get it when my mom does it bc she's never been like. attentive#but my dad just replied 'cool' and then immediately messaged me about a snake he foune in his yard....like ok.#and despite the fact he has responded fast to my messages all day all of a sudden he doesn't when i ask if he wants to come#like#whatever. lmao
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How many times can I go "I feel like ass but it's fine I'll be fine" until it becomes hollow to everyone around me. BHASJGFNJFGNK
#ventings#<- ig#i feel like this happens so. frequently#im fine one moment and then bad the next and i feel bad for it. i hate having some weird brain instability#i will be real this one time ! me going `ill be fine` is more my ward so i dont feel guilty or attention-seeking for venting than it#is an actual true statement atp. i mean like. tbf. i will be fine. my mood kinda just Swings and ive dealt with this brain long enough#to be used to that and used to the fact that ill just feel like this until my brain latches onto something and is able to snap back#but eh. euuuhghhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck#also while im giving myself one post to talk abt this shit before falling silent on it again. i always feel bad when people tell me i can#vent to them. bc its like. my brain wont allow it#i feel like a burden for it when i know ill be fine eventually even without getting to talk it out with someone#i will never tell people its better to check in with me than it is to tell me i can vent. bc my brain wont let me open the door but#if the door is held open for me then i feel i am allowed. ive been invited. does that make sense#but again ill never tell anybody bc thats just. it feels like a lot to ask when nobody needs to hear my bs anyways#idk. idk if i even wanna talk about this really. i feel bad still for typing it all out. beh#im gonna go play some silly billy and then maybe start doodling. that or i play silly billy and then check in with my mom#to see if she remembers the wendys thing. cuz i know she struggles with remembering things too
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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apologies are hard and can be embarassing
but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad
#it wasnt a big bad deal#but i didnt listen and projected my guilt#i wanted to be angry and annoyed#but whats the point#is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong#to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person#its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong#but you never know if this moment is the last with that person#and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry#i sometimes forget this#something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time#ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong#but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself#i stopped paying attention and focused on only me#and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself#im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly#none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to#which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down#taking up time that could have been happy#people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive#again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt#of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able#i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able#and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick#even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did#me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario#but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can#freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when#i say im fine that i too am telling the truth
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https://www.tumblr.com/allur1ngs/735793090480177152/this-is-mafiabada-coded-if-you-even-care
Ok but like imagine bada never knowing how to tie a tie bc her mom died before she could and y/n tying them for her😨PLZ I NEED IT BAE🫶🏾
omg i see the vision 💭
Bada's slim fingers fumble with the silky material of her tie awkwardly. She's been trying for about ten minutes to figure out how to properly fasten it, but no matter how hard she tries, she simply can't do it. She supposes this is her karma for letting herself get lazy and asking Lusher to tie all her ties without paying attention to how she does it. Now that Lusher and the rest of Bebe are gone for a rare day of rest, she's been left to her own devices.
She stares at herself in the mirror, trying to gauge how low she should let the larger side dangle and which side she's supposed to cross over the other first. She attempts two more times before she yanks the fabric off her neck, groaning loudly and pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance and frustration.
"Having some trouble there?" You poke your head out from behind Bada's bedroom door, having heard her audible frustration from outside.
Bada lifts her head, half of her annoyance washing away at the sight of you. "Some trouble would be an understatement," she sighs. "I need to have a word with whoever created ties. Why are they so complicated?"
You give Bada a lighthearted smile, amused by the way she sulks in front of her mirror, staring at the offending tie that's strewn across her bed. "You really don't know how to tie it?" Walking inside her room to pick it up, you stand in front of her before slinging the fabric across her shoulders and adjusting it against her neck.
"No," Bada admits, her voice quieting to a murmur. A beat of silence passes as she watches you expertly maneuver the fabric of the tie around like it's second nature. A small smile starts to form on her lips, enjoying the domestic and sweet atmosphere before her smile slightly fades. "My mother started to teach me when I turned fifteen. She said I should know so I could please my future husband."
"Oh," you whisper thoughtfully.
"When my mother passed, I asked my father to finish teaching me instead, but he refused to. He knew I didn't want to learn to impress a boy, but so I could do it for myself."
You loop the thinner end of the tie against the forming knot, eyebrows pinched together slightly as you start to concentrate. "How have you been tying them up until now, then?"
"Lusher usually ties them for me," Bada answers. "But what about you? How did you learn?"
"My mother," you nod, "she also insisted I know how so I could tie my father's tie, or my husband's."
"Our mothers thought the same way." Bada chuckles lightly. "I wonder what they'd think if they saw us now."
"I think my mother would swoon despite herself." You laugh.
"Perhaps so. But I think now I need to learn how to do this by myself." Bada looks down at your fingers, appearing deep in thought.
"No need." You smile brightly, tightening the knot and securing it against Bada's neck, the tie complete. "I can do it for you from now on. I should put my skill to good use."
Bada looks at her reflection, the tie you made is perfectly neat and not too tight—something she often complained to Lusher about. Beside her, you're standing beside her figure in the mirror, looking absolutely beautiful under the low light, and she just can't help herself.
Bada gently grabs you by the waist, moving you so that you're standing right in front of her. You're surprised by her sudden action but don't protest when she leans in and presses her soft lips against yours.
When she pulls away, she mutters a soft, "Thank you."
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Hello! Do you take request for platonic relationships? May I request for a fic where the reader is Neteyam’s twin and they died instead of Neteyam? Thank you!
neteyam x sister!reader
°:. *₊ ° . ° .•
a/n: yesss, i love platonic relationships, hope u like it :)
warnings: curse words, death :( and ye bad grammar bc i am potato 💀
masterlist
enjoy!
the tale of jake sully and neytiri began a long, long time ago. until now, they had a been blessed with a baby or should i say babies
the future child of the toruk makto bear great responsibility since a youngling. even the childbirth was not private, the clan gathered around the suffering neytiri to celebrate their heirs.
neytiri screamed as her voice cracked; she squeezed jake’s hand tightly, as if she wanted him to bore the pain. jake, who was helpless to his wife held her tightly and made an attempt to calm his own beating heart.
“a boy!” the first cry echoed the forest floors and a blue baby wailed.
“neteyam!” jake held his baby high up the ground, as an offering back to eywa. and like she had noticed, the wind blew heavily among the trees.
“neteyam!” the people of omaticaya chanted as they celebrated.
jake held neteyam against his mother, “he is so precious- ma ja-!”
“neytiri!” she held his hand tightly for the second time. “what is wrong? are you injured?” he looked for mo’at and she came hurriedly.
“this can’t be!” mo’at raised her hand high towards eywa. “ewya had blessed them with a twin!” “Tsleng kä! (eywa gives)”
“Tsleng kä!! (eywa gives!)”
…
“y/n!” jake held you up in his embrace.
“y/n!” the people chanted. as if eywa acknowledged her blessing again, the woodsprites surround your body and flew off into the wind.
a twin can only be so different yet so similar at the same time. you both inherited loyalty and obedience from your parents.
however, the eldest daughter can never deny that they are a daddy’s girl. and neteyam is a mommy’s boy. a fair trade
jake will always have a soft spot for you in his heart. the firstborn daughter of a toruk makto carries a great burden all the time. he had to prepare you since young to learn how to hunt, speak intellectually, and the importance of your people.
he will call you his ‘babygirl’ when you are going through tough times and it helps calm you down 👀
you would say you guys are both calm and collected. but if compared with each other, neteyam is still leaning towards his brain, but you leans towards your heart.
you are more emotional than neteyam and for good reasons.
whenever he gets too harsh on lo’ak, you were there to support and push him up. (sorry neteyam, but we know who is lo’ak’s favorite twin here)
however, twins are twins. you guys can fight each other and screw up one another, but you are always there to back him up.
“no, neteyam, can not have my food, but here is my liver if you are going to die.”
neteyam, being the eldest he is, is very protective of his twin sister. your human hand gained a lot of unwanted attention from the other na’vis. he made each and everyone of them to learned their lesson if they decided to judge your precious pinkie.
he is very picky of what you wear and where you go
“no, you can not wear that, cover up,” he whined.
“please, as if you are not showing your whole upper body,” you slapped his abs.
“no, this is different!” he raised his arms. “there are boys drooling over you wherever you go! do not think i didn’t notice.”
“it is normal of our culture! na’vis wear this!” you complained.
“i’ll tell mom you’ve been seeing a boy out,” he raised his eyebrows.
“nete! we are just friends!”
“then cover up.”
“fine!”
whenever the boys are in trouble, you have to go bring them back. dragging them by their ears are your favorite method.
now, they’ve learned when does your footsteps mean trouble from mom and dad.
“shit! she’s coming! run!” lo’ak tapped his brother.
“neteyam! lo’ak! i am not covering for you this time!”
“then, catch us!”
“don’t make me count!”
buttt, you still covered for them because they are your beloved brothers.
patching them up most of the time. kiri is also there to help you patch them up.
kiri and tuk are your angels for lifeee. teas? spilled. you guys have girls night all thetime.
the girls like to roam the forest floor and sometimes the lab. you knew kiri and grace have a special connection, and you were there to support here through the hard times.
kiri is your spiritual sister, Period. she loves to nap in the forest with you and swim in the waterfalls.
tuk is your baby, she is so supportive and lovely to be around. your baby sister who backs you up all the time.
when mom and dad goes too harsh on you, neteyam and tuk is always there to hold you up.
spider tho. no particular comment. you had always smelled stinky feelings towards him since the beginning, but seeing your siblings grow fond of him you didn’t say anything.
he is very friendly, to the point of being weird to you. you remember to keep a distance from him
bantering with neteyam all. of. the. time. who’s older or younger, classic. who’s taller, well, you kinda gave up after puberty hit him like a BUS
you are also protective of him. girls are always surrounding him with gifts and flowers. some even took an extra step to spy him through you.
nope, not happening.
-spoilers!!-
the metkayina welcomed you guys with hospitality and same hostile behavior. which you didn’t mind, considering your dad brought much trouble to them.
you tried to be invisible to most of the people, staying away on the beach, swimming alone, or watching the sunset.
ao’nung took advantage of your solitude to make friendship. easy to say that your brothers are not happy with his attempts.
you agreed to talk with him as long as he stop bothering kiri, which he agreed swiftly. he didn’t agree swiftly to stop bothering neteyam and lo’ak, tho. but he gave in in the end.
“you have to breath in from here,” ao’nung grabbed his abs, sort of what flexing, you noticed.
“okay,” you breathed in deeper than you normally do, earning a chuckle from him seeing your puffed cheeks.
“not your cheeks, here,” his hand claps your area of shown stomach. unknowingly, his hand was burning on your skin.
“are you sick, ao’nung? your hands and face are burning,” you touched his forehead.
“oh! no! definitely not! i am fine!” he flinched his hands back. “so- sorry.”
“hey! great! you are learning to apologize!” you giggled at his words.
“only to you,” he mumbled under his breath.
“what?”
“oh, nothing,” he replied.
“y/n! let’s go! dad’s calling!” neteyam ran over to you. “look who’s here, trying to get my sister?” (giving the eyes)
“you shut up!” ao’nung retorted back.
“hey! he’s not and don’t call my brother that, you guys apologize to each other…nete”
“s..sorry” “sorry”
for someone with ego as big as his, you taught him to become more selfless. the way your father taught you since a youngling. his parents were amazed by your successful attempts and welcomed you heartwarmingly.
his sister, tsireya, welcomed you with love and affection. she is quite the opposite of her brother, which you appreciated it quite a lot.
whenever your mom needs a second hand you will always be there for her. hugging her daily and giving her comfort. neytiri sings you daily to sleep just as it was in the jungle.
…and the war came, that demon you always loathed.
“y/n! y/n! no!” neteyam tried to keep your head above the water as he is fighting against the wave himself. “bro! take her!”
“shit!” lo’ak took your body on his ilu and cradled you in his arms.
“fuck! she took the shot for me, lo’ak! what am i going to do!”
“should’ve left her dead, bro,” spider said emotional-less.
“SHUT UP! TAKE HER TO DAD NOW!” neteyam commanded lo’ak who hurriedly tightened his grip on you.
“couz, do you know what the fuck did you just said!” lo’ak called his ilu to take off while neteyam is holding on to its harness.
“she said she will sacrifice herself for her family, and this is what exactly what it is!” spider shouted back. “she wants to be with eywa! back when we were younger!”
“we’ll get back with you, spider!” neteyam shouted as he fought back the waves. “you are fucking mad! she’s our sister! I’ll never lose her to a fucking bullet! pray for yourself that I’ll not pluck your eyeballs out!”
…
“DAD!” lo’ak called out jake on the rock. “bro watch her head!” lo’ak, neteyam, and tsireya lowered your body softly on the rough surface. everyone can hear their heartbeat as well as the liquid in their teary eyes.
“fuck, pressure! apply pressure on her!” jake took neteyam’s hand and place it on her blood soaked chest. neteyam placed his shaky hands as heavy as he could on your chest to stop your blood.
“it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay,” your dad muttered to your fading sight.
“d- dad, i want to go home,” you sobbed, as each word hurts to mutter out.
“i know, i know, we’re going home,” he smiled softly at you, trying to keep himself together.
“no, no, no, no, no,” neytiri held your body tightly. she cradled your face in her soft hands. you remember these soft hands, they are the one who brought you to bed every night, the ones who took care of you when you are sick, and the one who held you when you first broke your heart. now you felt as if you are breaking their hearts.
“i- i- mom- dad-“ you can’t help but your body is shaking hardly.
“yes, sweetheart?” “yes, babygirl?” your mom and dad replied softly and everything blacks out.
…
“no! nooo! y/n!” neytiri screamed her heart out, her hands traveled around your head and held it close to her chest. as if she is trying to retrieve her last memory like the first time she was breast-feeding you. “my child! my daughter!”
your brothers held your body close to them as well. neteyam taking your hand and knitting his ring with your pinkie finger, “you promise! you promised!”
“neytiri, neytiri,” jake held her closely. “they have our daughters, i need you to be strong.”
“let’s take our daughters back.” from that moment on, her eyes became as emotional less as a robot, grabbing her bow she took off.
“stay with your sister!” jake commanded.
…
“what are you doing, mad animal! i don’t even care for that child!”
“A CHILD FOR A CHILD”
part 2
today’s a great day to take care of yourself, 🤍
#neteyam x reader#lo’ak x reader#kiri x reader#jake sully#neytiri#avatar x reader#avatar imagine#avatar the way of water#fanfiction#neteyam imagine#lo’ak imagine#avatar
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So my favorite character in The Brothers Sun is Taiwan. Like yeah Taiwan has its own shows and movies but it just feels Different to see Taiwan in a big international/American show! It’s SO cool actually and so um here are some thoughts I had and things I Noticed about different Taiwan scenes and things in the show idk
Episode 1
the opening shot of Taipei tells us this is a Thursday- the top of 101 is green and is a different color every day of the week
that corkscrew-shaped apartment building we see Charles living in is kind of an urban legend here in Taipei. They say it’s the most expensive place to live in the city, that each apartment has its own swimming pool, and that there’s an elevator specifically to bring cars up to display in your living room. No idea if the interiors look like that for real though
I was gonna say it’s pretty crazy he has an American-style oven in Taipei bc nobody does but actually in that apartment… yeah he probably would
afaik there’s not a way to (“legally”/officially) stream any of those famous British baking shows here rip
I do wonder if they actually filmed the opening scene in the corkscrew building or if they just really pay attention to detail because the skyline seen out the window matches up to what it would really look like from that part of the city
the shoes, I mean we all know about shoes-off houses but yeah
豆漿. Soy milk. Yeah
They definitely eat Hi-chews in one of these scenes
Episode 2
It makes way more sense for the guys to have snuck out for shaved ice as kids than youtiao… I’m just saying… like would *I* do that yes but it’s usually just like. A thing you eat with soup or breakfast
Episode 3
“Are you sure you can handle-“ “the heat? I’m from Taiwan.” lmfao BITCH Taiwan has some of the blandest cuisine I’ve ever tasted (he does think it’s too spicy tho lol)
“Keelung. A fishing village just north of Taipei.” Okay like I can see how the older generation would call it that but it’s actually a whole ass city…
Episode 5
Not a Taiwan thing but the Maotai made me laugh. It’s like the Coca Cola of Chinese baijiu and imho it’s just as awful as every other brand
Episode 6
ok the episode that made me want to make this list
the Costco shit IS funny because vitamins, baby formula, that’s all the good stuff you want to bring back from abroad BUT actually we have Costco in Taiwan and can easily get a lot of that stuff? This concept imo would fit a lot better for China than Taiwan. It’s still very much a thing to load your suitcase up with baby formula on the way home to China, and there’s actually a huge smuggling business bringing it in through Hong Kong but I digress
Idk why I’m happy to hear Changhua and Douliu mentioned in an American TV show… Seriously, I don’t know. They’re kind of like nowhere places I’ve never even been. I just feel like everyone’s grandparents live there.
Even the way they film Mama Sun on the plane. Like the Mandarin music in the background with the announcement for Taoyuan airport… to me it feels specifically like a transpacific flight to Taiwan lolol but that’s definitely like a bias probably
Okay not to be SO nitpicky but so when she looks out the window on the plane to see Taipei 101 etc I’m not sure about that? The airport is actually in another city and I feel like I usually come in around and over the ocean or something?
But WOW the taxi scene my favorite scene it’s SO visceral and SO Taiwan… the street, the lights, the Cosmed/Mos Burger/7-Eleven, the street noises, like I can FEEL Taiwan through the screen and HER FACE taking it all in I WANT TO SOB
The temple, beautiful like this episode makes me believe Michelle Yeoh is Taiwanese lol
I appreciate the viscerality of the night market shots too but it seemed a bit empty
Okay so Mama Sun’s mom is super rich too based on where she lives which I guess it makes sense. But what I am curious about is the story about why they’re speaking Cantonese because Taiwan has a lot of languages but that’s not one of them like officially at all. I wonder if there’s a character backstory there or they just like. Didn’t want to bother teaching Michelle how to speak Minnan or something
The cemetery too is so fancy, I mean it fits but wow that’s expensive real estate
In the hospital scene, Taipei 101 is lit blue out the window, making it a Friday. Has everything in the show so far happened in only 8 days?
Episode 7
“Last night the Boxers made their move” 101 says it’s Tuesday for anyone keeping track
I LOST it at the Foodpanda driver assassin the first time I saw this… So Taiwan
Big fancy church in Taipei? I know they exist but I’ve never seen one in person (like 2%? of the country is Christian)
A mom bringing back tea as a souvenir from Taiwan? 100% real
Episode 8
RAW is a real restaurant in Taipei. It’s very fancy and very expensive and had I think two Michelin stars. I don’t know ANYONE who’s actually been there lol
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I have a confession: I used to believe all narcissists were toxic, and I'm pretty sure you've singlehandedly changed my mind.
I came from a very emotionally abusive + neglectful home and my dad has a lot of narcissistic traits (as in, consistent-with-the-DSM type traits, as per a therapist, not just the pop-psych shit) that he does not acknowledge and has never sought any kind of individual MH treatment other than family therapy with me and my mom present, which was very ineffective in terms of changing his behavior or improving my relationship with him.
///////(brief description of emotional abuse in this next paragraph, just a warning, I'm not trying to trauma dump or be triggering it's just some context, you can skip it if you want)
generally, my dad would use my older brother and I as his emotional outlet in ways that were usually humiliating or demoralizing, including manipulating us into arguing/fighting with each other so that he could then break up the fight to assert dominance, or else he would join in the argument by supporting one of us (often me but not always) and criticizing/arguing against the other (often my brother), usually basically verbally browbeating his opponent into submission so he could "win". this was also as an abusive thing towards our mom, bc she hates it when people argue and would always get really uncomfortable until the fight stopped. these tactics generally involved intellectual or academic topics that he would encourage us to have really heated debates over and discourage us from leaving the conversation if we got upset, inevitably resulting in it boiling to a head of name-calling, personal insults, etc.
///////(end abuse description)
it did a number on both my brother and I; we bickered constantly and ended up emotionally distant from each other as adults, and to this day sometimes it feels like he doesn't trust me enough to reveal details of his personal life to me for fear of reprisal. it also basically ruined my relationship with my dad, ofc, especially when I became his sole outlet after my brother left and he stopped being able to scapegoat him.
as a result of this, often when I see narcissistic traits/behaviors in others, or see people mention they have NPD, and especially if they're posting basically any kind of discourse, my gut reaction is fear and aversion, because it's hardwired into my brain that that's associated with imminent abuse. it didn't help that one of the first support spaces that ever recognized what happened to me as abuse was r/raisedbynarcissists, which I'm sure you're not fond of given the amount of pseudoscience and anti-NPD shit on there, and so I fell really deep into that rabbithole of basically just thinking people with NPD were evil.
I did eventually stop going on RBN, bc I ended up majoring in psychology and realizing most of the stuff people said on that subreddit was completely divorced from any kind of validated scientific inquiry and may have even been actively harming my recovery by getting me to fixate on the abuse, along with seeing more and more frequent critiques of the community by people on this site, and I started to evolve and question my idea of what "evil" even means if it could be caused by something involuntary like a disorder (though for a while I remained quietly resistant to the idea that narcissists could be good people even if they weren't necessarily evil).
but I think seeing you post so passionately about transmasc issues and defend us so readily (I'm transmasc) really challenged that and made me question my core beliefs in a big way. here is someone with good opinions that I agree with, someone who is sticking her neck out for another group of people, and who doesn't really stand to gain much aside from some attention from strangers on the internet. in contrast to my dad, who is a misogynist who would often use my AGAB and physical traits as a means to harass me when I was younger, you're someone I can't just say is "toxic" and avoid - it became clear to me that you're someone worth listening to and learning from.
and, you know, the trauma-response voice in my head is always saying "oh, it's attention-seeking behavior, sooner or later the other shoe will drop and she'll abandon us and maybe even turn on us!" but like... even if that's the case, which I'm not even saying it is bc that's a deeply uncharitable and kind of irrational thing of me to think of you, i actually don't care?? you're doing something good here, something worth commending, I don't really care what the motive is, especially since you clearly have your head screwed on right about the morality/ethics side of the issue. You're saying things that need saying. I don't believe in punishing good deeds! and even if eventually you did decide to move on with your life and go pursue some other interest, like, that's also your right, and my abandonment issues should be my own business to deal with and not blame on others.
I'm just glad you're here now advocating for us and with us tbh. so, thank you, not just for defending transmascs but for helping me learn to understand people with NPD better and unpack my own trauma-based biases. genuinely, this change of heart is helping me in my recovery process, is helping me let go of the shame of having some of the same traits and letting me acknowledge them without judging myself, and I just wanted you to know that you had that kind of a positive impact. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this with me. <3 I appreciate and love you a lot, and I'm glad I could be of some help to you!
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aNOTHER play by play of my thoughts <3
I kid you not the entire time I was reading this the audio of Klaus saying "MOMMY ISSUES" was playing in my head
Lilith really said, "I'm going to be useful when I come to my kids by brining riders AND insert myself into the military lol"
OMG OMG DEVERA AND FELIX!!!!!
I'm assuming their mother is a particularly touchy subject between Mira and Vi (i lowkey felt uncomfortable reading their conversation in a good way but I also wanted to diffuse the situation between the two 💀 LOL) Mira needs a goddamn award. The mental gymnastics of trying to love/defend her mom but also understanding Vi's own personal feelings and her position as queen is rough
Mira telling Vi she's the favorite (likely bc she's the baby bc let's be for real here lol) Vi thinking its Brennan makes my heart break for Mira because what about her???? (No slight against Vi or B but my heart aches for Mira too, as the eldest daughter). All of them need a goddamn hug
This line HIT , when did this become a therapy session LMAO
“It’s okay if it’s not enough, and it’s also okay if you let it be enough. If you try, too,” she added pointedly, “instead of being stubborn about it. She left the country she’s dedicated her entire life to because of you.”
Not Mira begrudgingly accepting Xaden and knowing that he's antsy as fuck w/o Vi
“Go home to your insufferable husband,” she said. “You probably stressed him out.”
The dragons finally fucked and X and Vi had to do something about it. The spicy scene was 10/10!!!! I have so much respect for ppl who write smut well bc I can't do it LOL but what i really appreciated was the attention to detail of X getting her conduit for her so that she doesn't burn down the kingdom 💀. My exact thoughts were "wait is her mom going to know their fucking bc of the lightening" but then I didn't even need to think about that bc you HAD IT COVERED LOL
Lilith is so complex and I love her for it. I bet the room was frigid when Brennan and Lilth spoke.
Naolin was mentioned and I am SOBBING. I hope RY expands on him but idk if it will make it to canon tbh
Glad this was sorted out bc I know this was a particular fan theory that was RAMPANT. I never particularly agreed w it
“Dead?” Lilith repeated. “The storm the day I crossed the parapet—” “I had nothing to do with that,” she interrupted.
I am terrified and excited for what is to come Alli 😭. Again another lovely chapter that I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish
So many mommy issues. All the mommy issues.
One thing about Lilith is that she has a purpose, and that purpose is protecting her kids, and because she's emotionally distant she'll just do things for them instead of with them.
I'm obsessed with Felix. He's such a fun character, just so much personality even though we see next to nothing of him in canon. Same with Devera! They feel the same to me in a lot ways I think.
Lilith is a touchy subject among all the Sorrengail children for sure, but definitely with Mira and Vi because Mira has spent so long trying to keep the peace between the two of them. And (in this world) Mira has been there for Violet in a maternal role a bit, so she sees the choices Lilith makes differently than Vi does and relates to them more, where Violet just sees that it's not what she needs from her mom.
This became a therapy session...somewhere around chapter 10, probably.
Idk what it is but I just love a dragon lust-fueled sex moment. Hits different, you know?
I can't believe I wrote a positive thing about Brennan Sorrengail 🤮 never happening again. Naolin is still just so intriguing though, I also hope we get to hear more about him in canon (I don't want him to be venin, I want him to be dead, to be clear).
I never particularly bought into the "Lilith tried to kill Violet on the parapet" thing either, especially once we learned about the deal she'd made with Xaden. She just loves Violet so much.
I, too, am excited and terrified for what's to come! Mostly excited!
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do you have any ud hcs? It could be anything idc
ooh, free rein! sure sure. josh + chris are def the characters i most frequently rotate in my mind, so some stuff about them off the top of my head...
josh
film studies major. i must admit i don't adhere to the psych major he's given in canon, though director/producer roles aren't my first choice for him either. he goes all-in on tangible stuff for his prank, so i put him in the practical effects arena.
artist in his spare time, but big surprise he's cagey about it. like, chris sees josh's sketchbook in josh's room all the time, but he's never actually looked inside.
with both movie sfx + art, josh is practical > digital, and he only dips into digital effects or art when he absolutely needs to. i just think he's a tactile sort of guy who prefers to make things with his hands, so creating on a screen alone doesn't give him the same satisfaction.
on social media in that he has accounts, but they're sporadically active at best. he can be slow to respond to texts/dms and his responses can be short, which gives off the impression that he's disengaged or bored. he isn't, he just doesn't want to be on his phone.
this is a longstanding hc of mine that i've absolutely mentioned before, but: designed hannah's butterfly tattoo! didn't really understand why, he was like you know your tattoo artist can do one for you, right. but she insisted, and he obliged.
gay as fuck. realized young, came out young, very comfortable. as demonstrated by the fact that, much to everyone's annoyance, he wears shirts that say shit like 'employee of the month at the dick sucking factory' in public.
chris
ok, so i've reached the point where the chris in my mind looks different enough that i get a little jumpscared when i see him in-game LMAO. i hc him both taller and heavier. he's gotta be at least 6 ft. and a chris hartley who's thin is no chris hartley at all. not to me.
does not come from money, like lower middle class. i have two totally different hcs about his family that both feel real to me: one is that he's an only child, his parents divorced when he was a kid (old enough to understand, but not quite a teenager), and he lives with his mom. the other is that his parents are not divorced, and he has a big family - lots of siblings. i've been going with the former in my fic lately, but both work for me. the constant is that his family's economic situation is more precarious than most people in the friend group, and family trips with (and funded by) the washingtons were his primary vacations.
has adhd. i find 'always on his phone bc he just loooves technology' less interesting than 'always on his phone bc he has existing attention problems.' this went undiagnosed for a while, and his performance in school suffered for it.
speaking of, he is not all-around school smart. like, emily may have strengths and weaknesses (even if she'd never admit them), but she can swing As across the board. chris cannot. he's getting good grades in classes that interest him or cater to his solution-oriented brain, but he's terrible in any class where there's no right answer. english, art - he does not get it. love him to death but his media literacy is Bad
bi as fuck, but it was a journey. thought he was straight for a long time, dismissing any attraction to men as a 'who hasn't had gay thoughts' kind of thing. i think it took him a while to come to terms with it bc he had a lot of internalized shit to work through. if a friend came out as bi, he'd have been like cool 👍 but him? surely not! he got there eventually though.
wowee this is long. as a lil bonus hc for another character, i'll add that i don't think jess went to college - i think she went to a hair/beauty school. she loves what a social job it is, getting to chit chat with clients all day, and like josh, she does best when she's working with her hands.
#thank u kindly for the ask!! sorry i do not know the meaning of the word brevity#asks#thebestever16#until dawn#josh washington#chris hartley
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Lloyd Garmadon Headcannons
warnings: none😋
General
He's been doing graffiti since he was 9
he started when he saw a guy doing it while Darklys was on a field trip in Ninjago City
he thought it was really cool and left the group to talk to the guy
His Tag is either Neon Dragon or Neon Echo
He decided it had to have Neon in it because he uses neon in all of his works
People speculate that he's Neon Dragon/Echo but it's not confirmed, not even the other ninja know
He has a graffiti account on Instagram that has 37.8 million followers and is verified
He also really good at painting and sketching
He's just good at art in general
He watches personal attention ASMR to fall asleep
He's good at sewing
He pretty much never posts on his socials, but when he does they get more likes and views than the other ninjas posts
he's the quote "short guys have the prettiest faces and the sassiest attitudes"
he's so sassy
when the Ninjas do interviews people always talk about his sass attacks
there are compilations of him being sassy on tiktok, Instagram reels, and YouTube
Kai's the fan favorite for his looks and how often he posts, but lloyd is the fan favorite for personality and level of cuntiness
Literally everyone in Ninjago loves Lloyd(except the badguys but yk)
Out of all the ninjas he has the 2nd biggest arms(Cole has the biggest)
Girls go crazy for his arms
He's so respectful towards women
He can start a conversation with anyone about anything
He is SO SO SO good with kids
A mom of 2 will be taking the bus home from somewhere, her youngest kid is a couple months old and her oldest is 4 years old
The older ones throwing a tantrum and the youngest is crying and the moms stressed and embarrassed bc this is happening in public and she can't get her kids to calm down
Enter Lloyd "do you want some help?" Garmadon to offer his services
the mom gives him her oldest and in a matter of seconds the kid is happy and smiling
he's not even sure what he did to get the kid so happy
THEN, bc one is never enough🙄, "I can help calm that you down too if you want"
So the mom gives him the newborn and again in a couple seconds the newborn isn't crying
kids just love him🤷♀️
He has really unique insults
"your personality is like a wet napkin at a party"
"your fashion sense if like a blindfolded toddler picking out clothes"
"Your ideas are so dull, they make beige look vibrant"
"Your sense of humor is drier than a desert in a drought"
"You're as useful as a screen door in a submarine"
and you best bet they all make it into the Lloyd Garmadon sassy compilations
He has FAST comebacks, he never misses a beat with an insult
Dating
He does a HARD launch
people will be chilling thinking he's single and then one day BAM
he posts something on Instagram announcing he's in a relationship
its 10 pictures of you, him giving you flowers, you guys kissing, you guys cuddling
it's like if you searched relationship goals on Pinterest
and the caption is something like "Happy 1 year babe🫶🫶 I can't imagine my life without you"
everyone in the comments is shocked that he kept your relationship secret for a year
Except the ninjas
who are commenting things about being happy he's finally announced it
I know for a fact Kai would commet "I'm glad you finally announced this, I have hundreds of pictures of you two I've been needing to post🙄"
You're his muse
He does graffiti pieces inspired by you
He also tells you he's Neon Dragon/Echo
He tries to teach you how to do graffiti
He's the type to read and annotate books you like
Collarbone kisser
Helps you figure out fits
MATCHING OUTFITS.
He would embroider a little heart in your favorite color, or your favorite flower into the cuffs of all his hoodies
He doesn't care if you're taller or shorter than him, just don't be the same height as him and ur good
After what happend with Harumi he would struggle to believe you actually like him for a while
Even after you prove you really do like him, he still struggles to express how he feels about you and be completely honest with you
Secret or forbidden relationship trope
he fell first and harder
also soulmate trope
he pays attention to everything you do and knows ur needs, wants, and actions before you do
(yk when Elenor anticipated Chidis sneeze in The Good Place, yea he's Elenor, you're Chidi)
"No I have a partner" instead of "Sorry, I have a partner"
he has awful abandonment issues so he's either really clingy or he pushes you away and doesn't talk to you
He doesn't do sass attacks or insult you(to often)
Kai will be recording a vlog to post to YouTube and you'll say something stupid, Lloyd will look at you like he wants to insult you but be doesn't
The fans see that clip and go crazy
"Lloyd holding back his insult is how you know he's in love"
The ship edits go HARD
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thank you for explaining the caustic personality!! honestly Vulpine might as well have caustic as his main w apathetic tendencies instead, ig ill find out when the demo is updated XD both personality types fit him too well. honestly he's not that aggressive as a person, he's actually mostly quite polite, but he does have a tendency to stare. the ones who really get to see his aggressive side are the people he dislikes (Host better fucking prepare himself-)
well i figured i'd just finish what i started, and continue on my never-ending ramble. usually i like making Ariel an orphan, it's a bit of a callback to his roots and it fits him, but this time i think the second option i usually go for him fits best: single child of a single mother. she's the only family he has that he knows of, a very loving, religious and hard working lady who was shunned from the community for getting pregnant out of wedlock. the very first fights Ari would get into in his childhood were against kids who would say some unsavory shit abt his mom. having a mother who was blindly dedicated to the same church that constantly made her suffer for the mistake of having a kid without a husband also played a very big part into Ariel becoming an atheist and rebelling against the church in his teen years.
she was p absent as a parent, having to work p much the whole day to be able to support them both, but she tried her best the moments when she was present, and Ari recognizes that and loves her dearly. he started stealing things and got his first job quite young to try to help her pay the bills.
he got arrested when he was around 18 yo, probably getting caught on one of his "heists", trying to steal from the richer houses around, and he hasn't seen her since then. his time in prison was... bad. really fucking bad. the worst, lowest point of his life, in fact.
i have no idea how the legal system works in england and i have no desire to learn, but for what's worth he is caught trying to escape at least once, and spends 2 miserable years in there until he finally manages to leave.
did he actually complete his sentence? lol. lmao.
no. no he didn't. be it by a month, a year, a day, the important thing is he didn't.
is Ariel Fox even his real name? i doubt it. that would be stupid wouldn't it, illegally immigrating to a different country after escaping from prison and using your real ass name to do it, he's smarter than that.
fun fact abt Ari: he does not want to go back to prison. he'll kill himself before they have the chance to catch him.
on a... "unrelated" note, the reason why Carter managed to wrap such a tight leash on Ariel is bc he learned smth he shouldn't have and he's holding that little secret right over his head. im sure you can't possibly guess what he found out that would make Ariel put up w his shit the way he did-
so the fact that Ari ends up in this city (i forgor the name and i can't leave the askbox to check or ill lose everything i typed 😭) is honestly not rlly much of a surprise, nor is the fact that he's p much alone despite living there for years. he's always been a bit of an outcast, a loner, someone who avoids people on purpose. he hasn't seen his mom since he left england, but he looks her up every once in a while. debates whether he should call her. decides it's for the best that he doesn't.
he starts over. new life, new me, or whatever the hell people say. starts off already with shifty connections, he needs a fake identity and a fake birth certificate and a fake everything if he has any hope of passing by unscathed, after all. needs to lay low. not call too much attention. be a nobody. wait until things calm down a bit.
he stays at least a year living like that, settling in, subduing his accent until he can pass it off as having learned it from a family member or some other bullshit. applies for university. becomes just another american college student.
meets someone.
falls in love.
has them taken from him. has his entire life destroyed. again. needs to try to pick himself up. again. is struck with such crippling grief unlike anything he has ever felt before. it's almost as bad as the two worst years of his life.
almost.
he's never letting anything like that happen to him ever again.
anyway! as mentioned before, he was working on getting a doctorate when Carter came along, and he sort of had to drop out after that, to the dismay of his teachers. what was he getting a doctorate on? honestly p much anything would be in-character for Ariel, he's an everything nerd, from language to history to engineering to biology that man wants to know quite literally everything the world has to offer him. his infodumps are the most complete and varied possible, he's a walking talking encyclopedia.
he's an extremely paranoid person who overthinks everything including his own overthinking and really, if nothing else here's to hoping that OD can at least teach him to loosen up a bit-
he never enjoyed doing drugs very much, despite partaking in them quite often in his youth. he's way more likely to experience a bad trip than a good one, so he learned to stay away from them as much as possible, but alcohol and nicotine were a completely different story. he's still addicted to nicotine to this day, the one drug he allows himself to never let go. he was an alcoholic through a big chunk of his life, until someone did Very Bad Things to him when he was too drunk to be able to fight back. that experience just flipped a switch inside of him, it broke him badly enough to make him promise himself to never touch another drop of alcohol in his life, a promise he did very well by until Carter killed his beloved and he had the worst relapse of his life. he's back to being a straight edge now tho, its fine! its not fine
he has immense distaste for the cops of the city, but part of him is kinda grateful that they're so bad at their job or else he would be Fucked. he absolutely despised doing work for Carter, even after he became so numb to it all it made him want to tear his own heart out just to make sure it was still beating. i cannot stress enough how much he suffered inside at the start, part of the reason he started drinking again was to try to ignore how much all of it hurt. at least he could try to make sure Carter didn’t kill innocents. he couldn't really be sure every time, but he tried. he really did.
he probably tried killing Carter at least once. or thought abt it, at the very least. made plans. had it all figured out in his head, down to the last detail, how he would do it and get away with it. ngl, he was probably on the verge of putting it into action when Host sent him that email and just gave him the perfect chance to do it just like that-
as a killer, Vulpine is very much the stealthy type, hiding in the shadows, walking withouth making a sound. if its a group, he'll pick them off one by one, until someone notices and all hell breaks loose or until all of them are dead. if he's forced to kill someone he doesn't think deserves it, he's merciful. very quick, clean deaths, going straight for the vitals, almost painless. if it's someone he thinks deserves to suffer, however... well, he's always been curious to know what a human vivisection would look like.
truth is, he's a sadist. well, a sadomasochist really, but he gets off on making people suffer, and he hates it. he especially hates the fact that hurting the person he loves is such a tantalizing thought. marking them blue and black, covering them in red, it's not really his fault blood is such a beautiful thing, is it? and if his lover wants to do the same to him, well, he's more than happy to oblige. anything for his love. except bondage. getting tied up/held down is actually a pretty bad trigger for him, he hates it, no matter the context
ok well i think that's everything! thanks for indulging me!!
-🦊
The ask is somewhere around here, i know it, but with caustic mcs, Carter assumed they were all bark and no bite. Fitting, i think.
And, given everything, OD is a fitting match, they like learning and they are smart -in their own way- the drugs and partying is for themselves, they aren't the type to pressure people into drugs, in fact, they can and will tell you about the various side effects of any given drug because they think its legitimately interesting.
#and hey if you love doing illegal shit. Newcreed is the city for you!#and hey if you wanna make his life worse. Carter could be the one who got him access to fake papers. he had those connections.#slasher mcs
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I know it's been a while since your blue lock era but have you heard that the Nagi and Reo spinoff is getting a movie?
Unrelated but the thought of ex convict Geto just being so gentle and smilely with his girls and all the other mother just watching him. Or maybe they are all waiting for their kids to be dismissed from school and have small talk about random things and all the moms realize he is the whole package. Hot, attentive, funny, etc.
NO I DIDNT HEAR TY FOR TELLING ME !!! i must catch up on bllk i rly rly rly miss it so much genuinely sobs my baby sae calls to me every time i stare at the comm it might be the loveliest comm i have ever gotten
ANYWAYYYYYYYYY I RAISE U THIS !! the pre school teacher is young, not much younger than u and suguru. she meets him 1-on-1 one day after he runs a little late to picking them up and has to stay with the girls till he shows up. she’s a bit annoyed that the guy with tattoos is late bc she’s heard about him—heard that he’s jobless and has a history of trouble. she can’t help but think to herself how he must be a lazy, unbothered parent who accidentally knocked up some chick and has taken that chance to leech off of her as he “stays for the kids.”
and then. he comes jogging up, out of breath and so, so apologetic as he rambles a string of sorry’s and it won’t happen again’s. she’s frozen—watches as the girls quickly run up to him, feels her heart skip two beats—maybe three—when he chuckles softly and says in that smooth and low voice, “hello ladies, how was school? did we do some learning? that’s important, y’know.”
nanako answers first, as she always does—she’s always the center of attention. “i dissected an owl pellet daddy,” she grins happily, “mimiko didn’t help.”
mimiko speaks up from the side, “it was gross.”
he nods, serious as ever, listening attentively as they babble and go on about their day. it’s like this is the most important part—like the world doesn’t exist when it’s his girls, like no one else matters. he gives the occasional mhm and oh, really? and oh wow! as they ramble. this might be the most their teacher has witnessed mimiko speak all year. and then he looks up and spots her, realizes she’s there and gives her the most sheepish smile she’s ever witnessed before clearing his throat.
“i’m so sorry about this,” he says gently, genuinely—like he really is sorry he’s late and like he never meant for it to happen. she’s starting to realize he didn’t, that when it comes to his girls, he takes everything seriously. including picking them up on time.
“no, that’s okay,” she mumbles softly, giving him a smile. his earrings aren’t so bad up close—in fact, they suit him really well. “the girls are a joy to be around, they’re very well behaved.”
“good,” he chuckles smoothly, grinning down at them in pride, “they get that from their mother. i’m a bit of a trouble maker,” he says fondly—and the mere thought of you softens his eyes, makes them a shade lighter as they brighten up.
right—their mother. you. he has a wife, maybe a girlfriend. she doesn’t see a ring on his finger—but either way, he’s taken. somehow, there’s a pit of disappointment weighing in her gut, sinking to her stomach and making her taste bile.
“oh, well, you guys have a beautiful family,” she smiles tightly. how did he win her over so fast—how did he manage to steal her heart so quickly? this is inappropriate, he’s the father of her students. a taken one at that—but geto is so smooth, so surprisingly gentle with an air of mystery that just makes him so desirable.
and then he slings both of his daughters’ backpacks over both his shoulders, grabs their hands and smiles sweetly as he says, “see you tomorrow!”
she hears him murmur a distant, wanna visit mommy at work? and the chorus of yeah! let’s see mommy! from the two girls. it makes her realize that maybe she was wrong about geto suguru. and somehow, she really really wishes she wasn’t—it’d be easier that way.
#ex convict! geto#i got so carried away with this im so sorry#i just.#he makes me INSANE#INSANE.#shorts.
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What are your domestic headcanons for Bea and Ava in your surgeons AU? And how did Ava realise that they are not cis? And how/when did Beatrice realise she wanted top surgery?
these are great questions i will now come up with answers to bc they're mostly vague in my mind before the actual timeline starts! lmfao
a domestic thing -- ava is obviously, like, incredibly gifted at charming people anywhere, at any time, doing anything. i think bea is a little terrified at first when she starts bringing ava to stuff — trivia night, the climbing gym, even just over to mary + shannon's for dinner — that everyone will immediately love ava way more. or, even worse, that bea will suddenly be expected to be the same kind of charming, to love attention in the same way, to laugh as quickly. but it's not like that at all, obviously: everyone is Delighted by ava & also delighted by bea — quietly, in a way that's still comfortable & happy for her. at the climbing gym ava tried adaptive climbing, like, one time & was like 'no ty lol', but he still loves to come & watch. bea is... quite serious, but ava isn't, so in like ten minutes ava's made friends w all of the people bea enjoys climbing with. the next time bea comes to climb, no one expects anything differently from her, but they ask after ava, a few of the boys tease her for having such a cool, hot partner (fondly, & she loves it), they invite ava out with them for beers saturday. i think they open up each other's worlds in different ways but the crux of it is the same. love them! as @princington said 'they're so tangible' & like they rly are
another domestic thing -- bea can't cook. she's abysmal at it, even after cooking classes. she tries to cook for ava One Time & it truly is so inedible ava just kisses her & orders pizza. she can make eggs, barely, & that's about it. ava tells her they're the best eggs, though
last domestic thing -- they're a big slipper household. at first ava thought it was kinda cute that bea was partial to a nice pair of teva slippers (also, of course, had to tease her) but the second ava tries them he's like oh fuck yah, i get it. needless to say, as he justifies bc of his difficult circulation system but rly just for fun, he gets... a Lot of slippers lol. also bea steals all of ava’s beanies. it’s only fair
in the context of this au, i don't think ava's ever rly been sold on being cis lol. even as a little kid before the accident, ava was happy to just play & imagine & sing & dance. their mom never forced them to Be A Girl, & ava didn't mind, really, when they were in the orphanage, but it never felt like it truly fit. not in a dysphoric way, but just that it was limiting. ava's body was confusing, was hard to come to terms with in that it wasn't the same anymore, they couldn't feel all the things they used to love. so when they finally had the opportunity to like go Be Queer, be in community, her world Opened Up in the most beautiful way. ava LOVES the playfulness & expansion of gender & the body, the control she has over not having to fit in a box. the world is so, so big & so, so lovely, & u know ava also HATES colonized ideas of anything lol, so it just makes sense. in undergrad they had some good trans buddies but also like... drag? LOVE. so it's rly fun for ava, especially with good people
hmm i think bea probably wanted top surgery from day 1 of puberty on but didn't realize until late in college. after a lot of reassurance from her friends that she didn't have to be a Trans Man to want to try a binder, she did, & p much that first night she knew bc she just felt so much better, like her body made sense & she could just relax. idk if bea ever rly feels gender euphoria but she does feel a lot of peace & so that's cool. probably she tells cam first, maybe lilith & cam together, that she wants surgery. by that time they're already in med school & also... they both know lol & so they're rly happy for her & they make her lots of snacks & take care of her afterward. lilith keeps her out of the gym for months even tho bea complains that she's bored & will be so out of shape, cam makes a bunch of food frequently. they're a little family & it's a rly joyful, quiet, happy time; she feels very lucky
#surgeons au#butch bea 🥺🫡#who knows! not me! making it up on the fly lol my favorite way to write fiction
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Ello! Cat advice anon here, just checking in and hoping that i can help a bit more! Holy Moly, from 0 to 4 kit-kats is a LOT. I commend you for taking in so many, personally I've never had more than 2 at a time sharing the same house, so i can only imagine the chaos! An Experience indeed!
For the overly-cuddly Hwanggeum, I'd say it's either bc you're the "head of the house", so to say, or bc you're her favourite and have been till now showering her with most of the attention she's been wanting. Or it could be both. Blue, my oldest, has always presented to my father, but otherwise she always comes to me bc I'm her main source of affection.
I dunno what might stop Hwanggeum from rubbing on everything, since I haven't had this problem with mine (they're actually not very territorial with space as much as with us humans haha!), but maybe having a smell she doesn't like near the places you want to keep her from might help? Smt like sanitary alcohol or another pungent smell, maybe, which might also help with keeping the others from spraying everywhere.
The smell might fade with time, but the stains sure don't as easily 😣 Found that out the hard way when we discovered a hidden spot in the closet where one of them had peed in a while back, but the smell had faded after some time without us managing to find the source of the smell. Then we found some clothes stained and still emitting a slight odor and knew immediately there'd be no saving them 😓
Hopefully the cat you've managed to find a free spot for doesn't go in heat right before it bc otherwise you (or the shelter) might have to wait till after it ends. You might have gotten used to recognising signs of an incoming heat by now, but just in case, watch out for a sudden increase in demands for affection and loud vocalisations. Mine get real cuddly and all meowy about a week before the real thing hits, but it's obvious bc they're usually not super affectionate with us unless it's our nightly or morning cuddle session 😊 Then again, no two cats are the same, one of them is super clingy and the other super bitey 😂
We plan on spaying them soon, but haven't since my mom is (understandably but also frustratingly) overly cautious about the surgery and the aftermath and keeps thinking of worst case scenarios, but my sibling and I finally convinced her.
Anyway, one last piece of advice i have is playing. There's nothing like that hunting instinct activating and putting the hindbrain on the back burner, which is exactly what happens when you play with them with a string or a powered mouse or mini car (the younger one, Odette, loves a tiny truck i got from a kinder egg or something. its back wheels can be dragged back and released and it spins and twists as it goes) for them to chase.
I think that's all I have to offer, sadly, but, once again, hopefully smt does help outta all that rambling of mine. Wishing lots of love to all 4 of the babies and lots of patience to you and your qpp, you guys are doing your best ❤️❤️❤️❤️
From two snakes zero cats to four cats two snakes AND one umbrella cockatoo!! Would it surprise you if I told you that the cockatoo is the easiest of the new animals to deal with?? It's been a learning curve for sure-apart from the heat cycles, the two cats we're keeping both have vomiting issues (one from eating too much too fast, one from being unable to digest the dry food), so it's been a learning curve for sure. And ofc now that Hwanggeum is out of heat, Mochi is going into it, so it's been a domino effect of horny single ladies near me. Someone pissed on my bed just today, which means that I'm gonna have to go back to keeping my room closed off to the cats until it passes, and I feel bad about that bc miss old lady Fiona has taken a soft spot to sleeping on Toast's enclosure + my bed
Hwanggeum- who I've taken to calling Revelry bc she reminds me so much of my friend's DND character + she's silvered out of her golden kitten phase- def. has imprinted onto me, I think. She follows me around everywhere, wails when she can't see me, and tries to make my life as difficult as possible when I need to leave for work via climbing up my leg when she sees me getting ready. So I'm pretty sure that's why she was so clingy when in heat. Thankfully that's ended for now but *man* did it make working on anything difficult bc she turned into a velcro kitty for about a week- I've got minor scratches all up my legs and shoulders from her jumping on my back or climbing me
The problem I've personally found with her rubbing, though, is that these cats rub really aggressively on *everything*, to the point where I'm not sure how get the scent trick working. It's like, they'll rub on any surface they see, but then you make eye contact with them and they start to rub even more aggressively, knocking everything and themselves over in the process. It's fine with minor unbreakeable shit but very difficult when you're in the middle of painting something and they jump up onto your desk and start rubbing their cheeks against your lamp, paint jar, etc. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle that, since Mochi is twice the size of the others and has some real bulldozing power to her. I think we're fine with not missing the shelter spots bc we likely can't get a spot for the spays until mid August anyways, but yeah...I'm eager to get them spayed lol. If cost wasn't so prohibitive then it would have been done right away, but, well...the cheapest we found is 50 per spay, and that's via a mobile vet mobile that is currently unavailiable. And none of us have 150 dollars to get all 3 cats done, so waiting for the two getting adopted out to get their freebies + the clinic to come back for Rev is our only option. Toys ARE a great suggestion, though- I just need to find the ones that they have. They had a whole bunch of them they used to play kitty soccer with that seem to have mysteriously dissapeared, and we haven't the faintest idea where they've gone. I'm already planning on making a stick-and-mouse toy with some cleaned dropped branches and old scraps I've got lying around for sewing practice
Appreciate all your help and well wishes! Both of us are a little overwhelmed, but we're trying our best and making sure we communicate solutions to the problems. I'm going to try my best to get the piss outta my sheets but I appreciate the heads up about the staining lol
#anon#reply#4 kibby is...too many kibby#theyre all so sweet but also augh#so many kibby. reminds me why I'm a reptile man
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I’ve got a fic I doubt I’ll ever write so let me unload my notes app here:
jane austen period drama setting
a is an adoptee/pupil to a Count who is known as a great music composer, regularly hosts parties and welcomes students in music to educate them over the summer at his home that is always full.
outside of a, also has four sons and a young daughter.
the count took A in because she is the daughter of his life long friend now dead in the war; mom was a working woman that fell ill while waiting for her secret husband.
When her mother died, A moved into the Count's residence, she was about 9.
A is a full sunshine to be around, social butterfly with a sneaky side, she has taken over the role of organizing and hosting the parties as the oldest "daughter”.
a is also a piano genius, she writes songs she sells to less talented, more man, would-be composers (did smn say overcompensing for daddy's approval? no one?)
her origins are known by all, the fact that the Count will always prioritize his own children over her in terms of dowry and inheritance, which keeps all suitors away but not boys with lesser intentions. a is the first one to redirect attentions of the men she finds suitable on her little sister.
b is a broke lord, from a family that cares for nothing but titles and got screwed over by a vengeful accountant (that honestly may have had a point). They managed to keep their financial situation a secret, putting all their hopes on their two sons to marry well before it is known.
b is the eldest, and is a moderatly renowned pianist as his parents kept sending him away to lords and masters (mostly to not have to pay for his upkeep). This is how he caught the eye of the Count and is invited to stay at his Manor to become his student.
during his stay, his family expects a lot, he will never be more in company of young rich ladies.
But, of course, he meets a.
though a bit coldly at first as her entrance disturbs his performance by how loud the children welcome her back.
b does not know about a's circumstances, he comes from too far away, and just assumes she is a bored daughter of a Count that took up music as another hobby.
a takes a lot of pleasure teasing the shit out of straight-arrow-no-funny-business b, quickly becoming their guide in this new fancy world, much like a cat plays with a prey, until the fake flirting became a bit too real, and their feelings menaces their status quo.
b: “I want to finally do one thing I truly want to do before i throw my will away and marry smart and that is to kiss you” a:"we can kiss ONCE but no more, you’ve got to marry well and that is not me”
a: “since we can’t seem to move on, and we’re both very free spirited, we should have sex to get it out of our systems and then forget it all about it” b: “since we can’t seem to move on, we should marry eo actually”
a:”I’m not marrying you bc we’re horny, ur not being reasonable which is very hard and annoying to me bc so far you have been the reasonable one, and I do not appreciate this position when I’m just as damn horny for u”
b:”this is way beyond being horny and ur being blind to how deep we’ve fallen bc ur so sure i'm gonna change my mind, I’m not just willing to give up an easier life for you, I would be miserable without you, therefore this is me being reasonable by telling you I want to marry you and if you keep saying we should just get it out of our systems, then i'm telling you we can’t have sex until we’re married”
a thousand teasings later and flirtatious attempts, a few existential crisis, and resignation over a's own feelings and trust issues*
a: “fine, I’ll marry ur sorry adorable ass.”
b: “that’s such great news, let’s have sex to celebrate!”
a: “nah, we might as well wait now, it’ll be more special *is absolutely taking revenge*”
#fanfic#fic#writing prompts#writeblr#romance prompts#imagine your otp#jane austen#austen fanfic#jane austen fanfiction#period drama fiction#idk how to tag this#ship inspo#this is so messy if it gets any attention i'll polish it a little#if not it was to get it out of my system lmao#i've got tidbits about them#like how they play the piano together#or how the staff knows all about their business cause they talk so openly about it in the kitchens
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