#like i dont want them to be too intrusive. but i want them to have character!
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rigormortisangel · 3 months ago
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i hate PTSD every time an adult is mildly nice to me i start getting paranoid wondering when theyre gonna try to use it to fuck me
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kindaorangey · 2 months ago
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unfortunately i am still an introvert after all this time so even if i have a really gratifying and positive interaction with someone outside of my comfort zone i will feel the need to weep afterwards from the stress of it all
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ajdrawshq · 5 months ago
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i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game
#an octopath ze au would be kinda fun actually.. especially the octo2 party#would love to see these guys in an escape room . it would be so awful#temenos would fit in perfectly and might even make a good mc given his 'truth lies in the flame' segments..#i could see partitio doing well bc of his creativity and general demeanor#osvald is great at math but idk how trusting hed be of everyone in this situation.. especially if they assume zero is one of them early on#throné . girlie im so sorry#i think shed do fine for the most part (hard to say how much her thieving skills would be of help here) but she did not deserve this </3#do not let ochette into any pantry or food storage room. i dont trust any of that food#i wonder if shed have her partner(s) here tho.. how do u handle an owl and/or jackal in this situation..#she would be great for morale tho#same for agnea tho i worry for her emotional state a lil bit . help her#who am i missing .. CASTTI#shes good at managing stress (both hers and others) in awful situations . thank god#and shes there if anyone gets hurt 👍#not that its likely outside of bad end situations ? tho i may be thinking of the 999 map too much..#would it be more fun to use that as the setting or something else altogether.. more modern or more like octopath 2..#how the fuck would someone even make an escape room in . what is it like the industrial revolution. steam era#would it make sense to be able to use magic in universe to pull off something similar..#the canonicity of some ingame mechanics is dubious so its hard to tell how malleable magics uses and effects are..#itd probably be easier to place everyone in a modern setting but i have no idea what some of them would be that way#.. modern fantasy setting ??????#what if they had smartphones in octopath. would that be fucked up or what#also who the hell would be zero . would anyone be in kahoots w zero.. or at least Know Things but be unable to say smth abt it#i straight up forgot to mention hikari earlier but hes prolly like. fine#his intrusive thpughts would probably Suck Bad here but hed want everyone to get out alive as much as everyone else combined#wait who would even be the 9th person. would it be zero. but who..#if it were octo1 id say kit but its harder to get a good octo2 equivalent of him.. hm..#oh god im out of tags . tho what would the game style be like.. nonary game ab game etc etc.. what would be unique but fitting..#am i gonna look into actual scientific theories for this . and how would the morphogenetic field come into play.. and Why..#octotag
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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I think many people who refer to intrusive thoughts incorrectly as being like "oo I dyed my hair! My intrusive thoughts won today teehee" are actually thinking of *impulsive thoughts* which, while not always normal, are still distinct from intrusive thoughts
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liquidstar · 1 year ago
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I'm working on my next oc set rn (as always) and this one is going to be the first, like, trinary guild to have more than 8 characters on account of twins sharing a spot lol
#they're actually replacing a different character i felt didn't really work well lol#my concern so far is to not design every single character to have a blue color scheme since they're naval themed#I'll have to like work around it for some. some blue as highlights maybe#shades of green or ourple#at least one character will have a red and orange color scheme and I don't want them to stand out too much also#I'll figure it out lol#anyway the secondary guilds have 10 characters. and the knights have 14. obvs the main one has the most at 31#i feel like you can assume theres more members of those guilds beyond what i show. theyre just not all as relevant lol#bc having 30+ for a side side guild would be sort of pointless and detract more than add#but a lot of them are big guilds so. i think you can assume theres more than 8 that just happen to pop up around the main characters lol#also anyone who wants to play with ocs like dolls could make their own characters for those side guilds and it will not mess w the story#even come up w relationships to other characters and say we just dont see them for the same reasons. not relevant to the main bunch#bc even tho i have a lot of fun w the more gimmicky side characters focusing on them too much would take away from the main guys#thats part of why they have to be gimmicky to stand out too. not as much focus to give them like detailed backstories and hypothetical arcs#so you get the gist of them based on what their Thing is and they can stand out w that#like i dont want them to be too intrusive. but i want them to have character!#not just bland extras and all. if they were i wouldnt keep drawing these sets for them#i have too much fun designing them to do that!#anyway after this current set (cobalt heart) ill only have 2 left#and one of them is actually on the smaller side! the timber scouts only have 5 characters#w similar outfits so they shouldnt take as long i think? also 4 of them are children#then is tartarus which will probably take longer but im really stoked for them#especially pluto. and deimos and phobos and juliet (dumbass duo and their fucking babysitter)#i also have some solo characters i wanna do too#i for sure have to do the royals . and some historical characters maybe#but i want atlas to be the last one i draw. my insane guy who tried to claw his own eyes out because he saw it#i wonder what the next phase will be after i finish everyone tho
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scarletiswailing347 · 1 year ago
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so the unfortunate thing about me is that, when it comes to the media i consume, i tend to have one 'anchor' (very rarely two) to keep me interested
this is necesary cause i have an incredibly hard time being interested in things in general so i have to purposefully spend my focus on one thing so that i can keep being interested in it cause otherwise i just kinda feel meh about the thing, i mean ill still watch and enjoy it but i wont be as interested as id like to be and may even drop it eventually after struggling to keep interacting with it (this is unfortunately what happened with empires, x-life, yogscast, and the lsmp seasons without mumbo in it)
if i ever drop that anchor whether purposefully or not then i lose interest in everything that ive ever connected to its rope -- i could still enjoy them sure but then at that point theyll just be like every other filler content in my life, like music when im washing the dishes
for hc its mumbo, for dsmp and smplive it was schlatt, for the scrunkly squad its boosfer and baablu
for lifesteal its zam
idk what happened behind the scenes but ill be honest its not looking good and theres a possibility i might have to drop him :/
#mine.txt#not sure yet tho cause without enough context it just feels like im doing something unnecessary that the affected party (lila)#may not necessarily want#i mean intuitively it seems like something that someone would want#guy who hurt you loses support? sounds great right?#but thats not really something everyone wants and i am Very Sensitive to feelings of intrusion whether by me or other ppl#either way im def gonna loosen the hold at the very least#i mean i Could look for another anchor but its a lot harder for me to attach to an anchor if they were attached to another anchor before#so for me to stay interested in something even after the anchor dropped there has to have been another anchor at the same time#like boosfer and baablu with the scrunkly squad#even if one of them drops i can still stay interested in ss (although i may become more focused on one inner circle more than the other)#also ill be honest i just dont really care enough about lifesteal in general to do that#what a shame i really liked zams character too#both drawing and making stories of him#just gonna go hard on baablu and mumbo if it ever happens ig#oh man just realized im gonna drop gen too if and when it happens#nooooo not my saturday morning cartoon T-T#it is what it is ig its not the first time this has hapenned and it wont be the last#honestly the best option for me to stay interested in something is for the plot/lore to be my anchor#unfortunately that very rarely happens cause of how character-driven a lot of stories are#and esp with cc-content its even moreso considering its nature#...just now realizing this May be part of the reason why i love mystery stuff so much#yeah the characters are important but they mean practically nothing without the plot like they wouldnt act the way they do without it
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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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krockat · 1 month ago
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hey. Hey. person reading this right now. if you already feel bad about this, or are aware of this, and you for example have intrusive thoughts about dirt and stuff - don't feel so bad about this.
and i think the implication that 'everyone should feel after touching any public surface like they've touched dog poo'
and by extension that that should feel poison and by perhaps extension even perhaps Should make you feel dread, and perhaps even feel like a bad or shameful person for it?
i think, we should probably walk that back a little. i think it easily comes across as that, and could be triggering people's anxieties about this, in an unfair way.
absolutely - cleaning your hands good and keeping good hygiene is good, but the feeling bad about it part? you do not need to feel bad or anxious or dread about it during or about it.
you also do not have to Make yourself feel so bad about it.
and if you read this and realize maybe you haven't taken your hand hygiene seriously enough, you can always change and improve.
and that it will be okay. change, good change, can always start today. there are also many good handwashing tutorials that came into (re) creation after covid hit 2020.
also, for context - because I do not mean to be rude to op or previous commenter, i am specifically writing this as a person who has intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, but am recovering,
and I just feel like this post has great points and perspectives that I don't often see shared - that I want to reblog! and also wanted to talk about that perhaps moral ocd/dirt ocd triggery thing, and not let that pass without that commentary.
and that also as a person with intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, that YES oh my gosh THANK you,
it really is so scary sometimes and isolating how people do not even consider these things with hygiene, and I've also talked to people about it but they still don't see the point!
i know my fears and concerns about dirt are not Just irrational - and I feel like people often dismiss my knowledge about dirt and hygiene Because I have these diagnoses.
And i Guess it's easy to ignore my concerns and pleas if they can dismiss me because of them.
Washing my hands as I come home?? a given. also washing my hands before I touch my cat!
cats can also get covid (last I heard, that was mid early hit of the pandemic hitting though, science might have found more) and so like i do Not want to mess around - not for me Or for him!
also I've known so many people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.
tw for below: REALLY nasty hand hygiene
i had a parent (i disowned them) that used to sometimes skip out on washing his hands after he shat.
like I could hear him shitting and could also hear him flushing, not turning on the washbin, and immediately exiting the bathroom.
i tried to tell the rest of my family members and others but they just didn't believe me.
also if you touch your genitals (including dicks) or underwear in the bathroom, or touch the toilet, or the toilet roll that has been used, You should wash your hands! It's Not Cleannn
I Do Not get people who do not get that. at all.
in the vein of "how do you stay safe from getting sick", I wanna say that something I always noticed as a kid was that a lot of the time when I went to people's houses and we would leave at some point to the mall or the park or something and then come back home…I don't remember any of them washing their hands when we got back inside. they'd just immediately lead me back to their room or the living room or something, and then I'd feel incredibly self-conscious about going to their bathroom to wash my own hands. and I always thought it was absolutely bizarre because the way I was raised, the first thing you do when you come back home after taking your shoes and jacket off is go wash your hands. it's common sense. why on planet earth would you not wash your hands. you've just been touching a hundred public surfaces that could have anything on them and you think as soon as you set foot in your own house all the germs you've picked up just evaporate? it's absolutely insane to me to know that so many people don't bother washing their hands. WASH YOUR HANDS.
#also why i can't stand people using used toilet paper rolls for art#like use the household papers and cut them in two if you need a small!!!!#also a house paper roll that hasn't been touched by like. unsafe things too. like raw chicken or something#also i said including dicks because I have met many men who think dicks are somehow exempt from this#like they say 'yea ofc u clean your hands when you pee cause you have a vagina - i dont because I have a dick'#and like HUH#like atl 5 people have said this with their full chests and then people around not dispute it or nod along like#HUHHHHHHHHH#cw unsanitary#i wrote such a long comment - I wanted to shorten it but don't know how#i also hope it's still not too rude to prev people. like I just feel like it's so nice to see people talk about this#but that I also don't feel comfortable sharing it W out my commentary about ocd/intrusive stuff because#i know i have followers who also have my problems and some might have followed me because I've talked about#my issues too. and i am on a good path to recovery and stuff so this didn't trigger me - but I know in the past that it could have#like it's not that i don't take care of my hand hygiene - but that I would have felt like i should feel worse about it#and feel worse and scared about touching things outside. and like. that's really not a healthy way to think#like yes take care - but no you do not need to feel worse or bad.#it's okay.#as I tried to format my comment so that it's not so hard to read - esp cause it's so long.#hope that helps a bit#idk what to tag also#krockat krockar on others posts#I don't remember my tag that I used because replies doesn't feel right lol because that's another function#but i think maybe I used that tag for commenting on others posts before#oh maybe instead I should do#krockat krockar in comments#idk! confusing!
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evangelistofmurder · 24 days ago
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How do you deal with paranoia?? /gq
Just read the tags,,
#ive been getting a myriad of intrusive thoughts recently#its been so bad this week and i dont even know why#I'm either thinking about getting murdered violently or suddenly dying#theres more but i dont even remember most of it right now#plus in general i think I'll get executed on spot if i even dare to speak constantly#← though on that; its getting worse since i genuinely think i shouldn't speak ever due to how paranoid i am#i genuinely think someone would slit my throat for it#for all i know this could be some mental episode?? though im not even sure#nothings happened this week that would cause me this much stress it's all just out of nowhere#im having an existential crisis because of said paranoia since i keep questioning my existence and if i have the right to even live#im so paranoid to a point where i don't even think I'm worthy of living#i wouldn't say its suicidal ideology either since i absolutely do NOT want to go out the way my intrusive thoughts insinuate if i were too#i keep getting phantom pains of being stabbed in the back or of strangulation and its scaring me#i hate hate this#i just keep ignoring it and trying to sleep it off and then it's gone for a few hours and then comes back and its back to square one#i dont have plans on acting on anything but my paranoia keeps getting more prominent and i dont know what the cause is#i keep doubting my own choices as of recent too#i dont know why this is happening and its bothering me so much#i know its not true but i constantly feel like I'm on edge or someones out to get me#like at this point yell at me in the fucking replies for these thoughts i shouldn't be having them and maybe itll force it out#i dont even know anymore#KillerKiller.txt
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airprime7 · 1 year ago
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i want to throw up
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mirroringshards · 11 months ago
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cute bpd things!!
paranoia
*small inconvenience* BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP
yeah im fine lol look at this meme :D
paranoia
mood depending on them
every text hurts or feels way too good
intrusive thought yeouch okay ouch thats another one yeOOUCH
the 50000+ articles on how youre abusive
paranoia
fp is bad for me but its ok i love them<3
"if i hurt someone its gonna be myself"
becoming completely obsessed with someone the moment they give you the slightest attention
never being able to cut anyone off ever. immediately go running back
cry because theyre talking to someone that IS NOT ME
oh my fp isnt here. okay. oh im dissociating okay i dont have any purpose to continue living without them okay my life literally revolves around them i want to die where are they are they safe i dont know what to do with myself
"just leave. everyone does anyways"
5 minutes later theyre the worst person ever
*looking for an identity* hmmm, where could it be?
dependent on fp like theyre a parental figure you never had
paranoia
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hannieehaee · 1 year ago
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them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2- pu
content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, jun's has one brief suggestive mention, fluffy ending, etc.
part 1
wc: 3232
a/n: tysm to everyone who read and enjoyed the whole series <33 it was rlly fun to write angst with a fluffy ending hehe
masterlist
jun -
against his better judgment, jun sat in silence for a while as he contemplated what to do. you were likely not only mad, but also disappointed at him ditching you like that. except he hadnt meant to! he truly had no idea he would sleep through the entirety of the morning. he had been so excited to spend his favorite day with his favorite person, but now he was left as a complete asshole while you believed him to have carelessly put you aside with no warning
after a few more minutes of self-pitying, he decided to get up. it was better to try and make amends and explain himself than to let even more time pass. he knew you'd be out by the time he arrived to your place, but at least that way he could fix something up for your arrival. he decided against calling you. it didnt feel personal enough, plus, the least he could do was surprise you.
without further thought, jun headed straight to your place, but not before inquiring his mom about a few recipes he knew you liked. his current plan was to make you a romantic dinner upon your return. in order to allow you to enjoy your day in whichever way you wished to, he continued to not contact you with his new plan. he knew it might've been dumb to not even answer the multiple messages you'd left him while he slept, but he wanted to apologize face to face with a romantic gesture.
preparing the meal had been easy enough. he followed it by creating a nice ambience with the lights and a few candles, along with some mellow music and incense. the next step in his plan was to offer you a massage and his wholehearted company for the rest of the night to do whatever you so wished.
luckily for him, your outing did not extend into the night, meaning his meal would become either a brunch or an early dinner. but that didn't matter to him the moment you stepped in and spotted him in suit and tie waiting for you in your apartment, eyes wide as saucers at the unexpected intrusion.
"jun?"
"wait! dont say anything. i rehearsed this, okay? let me say my thing first."
you were already used to his shenanigans, so you gestured at him to continue before voicing any questions.
"i'm so sorry. i know i promised to be here. and i was planning to be here on time! but i, uh, i fell asleep. i know how stupid that sounds, trust me! i didn't plan on this. i was so exhausted and i didnt realize that id sleep through all my alarms and your messages. my phone died last night too, so i didnt even realize you had called me. i'm just ... im sorry. i know im an idiot. please forgive me? i made you a romantic dinner to make up for it! i hope you like it, they're my mom's recipes," he paused for a second before continuing, "i love you! i wanted to spend the whole day with you, i swear. i know it didnt go as planned, but id you let me, id love to spend what remains of it doing whatever you want. im sorry i left you alone. i never meant to."
"junnie ..."
jun immediately noticed your lip begin to stick out in a pout, with watery eyes to match.
"oh, fuck. baby, i'm so sorry," he rushed you into his embrace, "i didnt mean to make you cry! i- how can i make it up to you? i'll do anything, just say the word."
you halted him before he could continue, remaining in his hold but disconnecting yourself enough to look into his eyes.
"no, junnie. it's just ... fuck, im sorry if my texts were harsh. i thought you had just ditched me for no reason. you must've been so exhausted, baby, im sorry. i understand why you weren't here, and ... god, thank you for the dinner. you're so sweet, junnie, im so so-"
"no! dont apologize. you're not allowed to apologize on your birthday. in a perfect world i wouldve made it home and fallen asleep in your arms instead. will you have dinner with me? then i can take you to bed," he interrupted himself upon realizing what he said, "oh, wait! not like that! but well, if you want too ... it's your day, anything you say goes. happy birthday, by the way," he pressed his nose to yours, "i love you."
you couldn't help but giggle at his panicked state, appreciating the sweet words nonetheless.
"thank you, junnie. i love you."
soonyoung -
soonyoung wasn't too sure where he was going.
it's not like be was blackout drunk, he was just drunk. period. he still had some sense of reason. he was almost 85% sure he was in minghao's car. but there was no way to be completely sure from the angle in which he was laying down. that's when his friend decided to inquire his name to check on him, thus confirming soonyoung's current whereabouts. that was also when soonyoung fell right back asleep.
next time he gained consciousness he was being dragged out of the car and being directed to follow minghao. he could recognize his new location anywhere. he was standing right outside your apartment. when you opened the door, he couldnt help but instantly let himself fall atop you, attacking you with a hug as you were forced a few steps back due to his body weight being dropped on you. you held him back, patting his back as you spoke to minghao about something. he wasn't too sure. the familiar scent at the crook of your neck had him too distracted to care.
finally minghao left, allowing you two some alone time. you left him on the couch and got him water, telling him he needed to sober up before you could talk, because apparently you had something to say to him. it was odd. you weren't cooing at him as you usually did. you also weren't stuck to his side, giving him his daily dose of physical affection like he'd always demand. he decided to shrug it off, allowing himself to fall into deep slumber on the uncomfortable space of your couch. he'd figure it out tomorrow.
when tomorrow came, soonyoung was hit with two things. one came after the other.
the first was his headache, which almost went away on its own at the mere aight of the aspirin you had left on the coffee table in front of him. he made a mental note to give you a thank you kiss the moment he saw you.
the next thing he was hit with was realization of how uneven this relationship seemingly was.
as he got up to seek you out, he stopped just before entering your bedroom, realizing you were on a phone call. he didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he was also really nosy by nature, so the math did itself.
"yeah. im sorry for cancelling on you yesterday ... no, i know ... it's not like that .... he just forgot .... yeah ..... he came home drunk .... i dont know. i think i'll just let him figure it out on his own .... i am hurt. we made plans and he just blew me off to drink with his friends, of course im hurt .... i'll just see you tomorrow, i gotta go take care of him .... yeah, i know im an idiot, but i love him .... okay, bye. love you too."
soonyoung could only hear your side of the conversation, but that had been enough for him to clue the pieces together. your birthday was yesterday. which was something he knew, but had completely left his mind at the mention of free drinks with the guys.
after that realization came many others.
you had shown him no type of anger upon his arrival, even making sure take care of him in his drunken state. you had changed him into his pjs as he slept, tucked him into your couch, given him medicine. even after he blew you off. on your birthday. fuck.
he gave himself no time to think before he barged into the room, immediately kneeling in front of you as he grabbed onto your hands. he paid no mind to your shocked state as he started babbling apologies to you.
"im so sorry, i- i dont know how i forgot. baby ... im so fucking sorry. i cant believe you took care of me even after i forgot. you shouldve punished me. you should punish me. i dont deserve you. im so so so sorry. i love you so much, i swear i never meant go forget. im just an idiot. that's not an excuse! you're just too good for me. I'll make it up to you! how can i? anything! please, i love you."
his rambling could only be blamed on his still buzzed state, as that had only been half of his apology. he kept going for ten minutes, allowing you no room to respond. he was surprised when by the end of it you'd instructed him to get up, almost tackling him in a hug as you wrapped your arms around his neck. he might've been an idiot, but he'd accept any affection from you he could get. always.
"soonie ..." you pulled away to look into his eyes, a sweet softness behind them. them you decided to slap his chest, making him wince at the unexpectedness of it, "you fucking idiot! i waited for you all day, and you ditch me for alcohol?"
"baby, i-"
"no! i cant sit through another ten minutes of apologies. im pretty sure you're a little drunk still. i forgive you. but you have a lot of making up to do, understand?"
he felt like a scolded puppy, but agreed regardless, telling you that he would swear off alcohol if that's what it took. he enjoyed your giggle as he suggested ridiculous ways to make it up to you, knowing he'd genuinely do anything to make up for ever making you upset.
minghao -
if he hadn't felt immediate regret the moment the words came out of his mouth, he sure felt it now, hearing you cry through the door to your shared bedroom.
he had no idea what had gotten into him. never had he ever even entertained the idea of disrespecting you like that, much less ever making you cry. he could take his job too seriously sometimes, making him a bit too irritable when his work ethic was questioned in any way. although this was true, he knew it was still just a cheap excuse for his behavior. no matter what had been going through his mind, he knew he had no right to speak to you in the way that he did, dismissing you so coldly on a day that was meant to celebrate you.
he was unsure what to do. he wanted to comfort you so badly, but he knew that he had been the sole cause for your pain. he felt himself get emotional at the mere thought, with your sobs making him weak at the knees in regret. he sat himself down on the other side of the door, knowing from the proximity of your cries that you must've been on the opposite side as well. he kept quiet, simply torturing himself as he heard the love of his life cry because of him. there was only so much he could take, however, before finally interrupting.
"my love ..?"
your cries seized a bit at his interruption, but your sniffles and heavy breath could still be heard, breaking his heart bit by bit.
"angel ... im so sorry ... i- i don't know what came over me. you're right. i should've called you. there is no world in which i wouldnt want to be with you to celebrate the birth of the love of my life. you're my everything. i want to shout it from the rooftops. i want everyone to know who my entire world is; who makes my heart beat," he took a pause to breathe, allowing himself to think of how to properly apologize to you, "i should never speak to you the way i just did, i ... im disgusted with myself. you're the most important thing in my life. being the source of your sadness makes me lose my mind. my one purpose in this life is to love you with all i have. im so sorry ... my love, please dont cry over me. no one deserves your tears."
by the end of his speech you had begun to cry harder, making his heart crumble even more.
"angel ... let me see you, please. i need to hold you, need to- need you in my arms. cant stand not taking away your pain, please, i-"
his words were interrupted by a sudden opening of the door. by the time he'd gotten up, you had already walked further into your room, sitting on the edge of the bed as you made yourself as small as possible, looking down while he approached. he knelt in front of you, grabbing your hands as he held them against his own, kissing at the back of your palms as he professed his love for you once more. he then got up and made it so you'd stand up with him, allowing him to cradle you in his arms.
"please forgive me ... i adore you more than anything."
you finally looked up at him, bloodshot eyes as he looked down at you with both worry and adoration.
"did you mean it? do you really not care to ditch me for your career? did you-"
"no! never. you're everything to me. there's nothing i hold more dear to my heart than your own. i'll never make you cry again. i'll grow old with you and give you nothing but happiness. please, please forgive me."
he knew his words could only get him so far, being fully aware that he had purposely hurt your feelings in the heat of the moment. he simply hoped that this would not cause a strain in your relationship; that you would somehow look past it and give him the forgiveness that he didn't deserve.
his thoughts were fortunately interrupted by a soft meeting of your lips, allowing him to melt into you before you pulled away.
"hao ... i forgive you. i- i never thought you'd just disregard me like that," he physically winced at the thought, "but you've shown me nothing but love and respect otherwise. i understand you were stressed, and i love you, so i forgive you."
"thank you, angel. i'll take tomorrow off, okay? let me keep you all to myself so i can show you how sorry i am; how badly i love you."
he then spent the rest of the night attached to you, waxing poetic at you as he told you of all the plans he had for the two of you tomorrow, even eventually progressing into talking about his night at the fashion show. your enthusiasm at his rambles made him realize how fortunate he was to have you all over again. he made a promise to himself and to you that he'd never lose his temper around you ever again.
chan -
"wait, what? ah! don't hit me!"
"you idiot! you're dating a literal angel and you forget their birthday?! what is wrong with you?"
"it's not today! it's, uh, wait. fuck. today?!"
checking his phone really quickly he realized that today's date was in fact your birthday. he hadn't bothered to write down a reminder for your birthday anywhere, knowing there was absolutely more way he could forget. except that the days had begun to blend together at some point, rendering him into a machine as he just went to his schedules without much thought. what he hadn't accounted for, however, was for your birthday to get lost in the mess also.
chan hadn't planned for his day to go like this. he 100% was not expecting to be berated by seungkwan the moment he stepped foot into the practice room, being scolded over being a careless boyfriend. even as annoyed as he was at his friend, he knew he was right. he hadn't meant to, but ultimately he had forgotten about you. it sucked to think about how he had bid you goodbye just this morning with not a single care in the world, now realizing that you were probably alone and feeling disregarded by him. i mean, for fuck's sakes, he had told you to take the day off a few weeks back. promising a fun afternoon together after he got off work. and now he had completely forgotten about it.
he needed to fix this, and quick.
like any lovesick guy (such as chan, who was immensely down bad for you), he ran to leave practice. he knew soonyoung would have his ass on a silver platter the moment he arrived and noticed chan's absence, but after weighing his options (hurting your feelings vs. being berated by yet another one of his older brothers), he decided you were the clear priority.
ran might've been an overstatement, but he did rush as much as he could. he wanted to account for the extra time he'd need to spend to stop by a flower shop on the way in order to beg for forgiveness in a more heartfelt way.
after picking a bouquet of your favorites, he instructed the driver to take him to your address, which led him to his current predicament as he stood outside your apartment door, breathless due to having ran up the stairs in very dramatic fashion. what could he say? he was just a boy in love.
the moment you opened the door to his knocks, he rushed in, rambling endless apologies to you as he handed you the flowers, professing his love to you while also whining (mostly at himself) that seungkwan of all people had been the one to remind him of the love of his life's special day. it was funny, really, how he didn't seem to run out of words when expressing his regret at his mistake.
you interrupted him halfway through his fourth apology, giggling at his widened eyes. okay, this was not exactly the reaction he was expecting.
"chan! jesus, breathe," you interrupted, "i'm not mad. i mean, i was. but you literally only left an hour ago, i cant believe you're back already."
"i headed back the moment kwan told me. baby. i'm sorry. i had planned to take the day off and surprise you, it just slipped my mind, i swe-"
"chan! it's fine! i'm not- i'm not mad, i promise. the fact that you came back running is so ... it's funny," you giggled again, "but its also very sweet. you have nothing to apologize for, okay? i'm just happy you're here."
he hugged you after that, disregarding the flowers in your hands as he nuzzled his nose into your hair.
"remind me to thank kwannie for reminding my bad, forgetful boyfriend about my birthday."
"yah! you're not allowed to hang out with him anymore, okay? he's a bad influence," he complained against you, enjoying the vibration of your laugh in return.
a/n: sorry some are way angstier than others ;-; i wanted to vary them a little. anyways tysm if u read the entirety of this mini series <3
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flametrashiraarchive · 1 year ago
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YOUR DOUMA HEAD CANNONS WERE SO GOODDD you should write about him more ^_^
☺️ thank you!
I will never pass up the chance to write more about the murder pookie. Part one here!
NSFW under the cut.
CW for oral sex while sleeping
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DOUMA HEADCANONS 2
Have I mentioned that this man is a menace?
One time he had you sit in his lap with your back to his chest while he was delivering a sermon.
His cock was inside you the entire time. And you can bet this fucker dragged the sermon out.
"Stay completely still. Nobody must suspect a thing. If you're a good pet, you'll be rewarded when they leave."
If his disciples noticed they didn't let on.
But he loved it. Couldn't stop grinning whenever your muscles desperately clenched and twitched around his cock.
Finally let you start riding when you were alone again, his elegant fingers and soft hands assisting you with orgasm after orgasm.
Singsongs your name when he wants attention and you're otherwise occupied. If you dont reply right away he gets whiny.
Many assume he's airheaded because of his playful nature. But Douma is incredibly cunning.
And he loves you because you recognize that in him.
"You're smart too, for a human."
Loves to talk about grand philosophies while you're fucked out and slipping into sleep. Nudges you awake so he can keep talking to you.
Sends you out alone to buy flowers since the flower market is only open during the day. He trusts you to return to him. Knows you're just as smitten with him as he is with you. Loves the flowers you pick. Lets you braid them into his hair.
Loves to walk you through the city at night, a slender, gold chain around your neck, connected to an identical one around his wrist.
All symbolic of course, but oh so pretty.
Lets you paint his nails.
Gets away with literal murder because you find him adorable.
Extra snuggly and needy after the upper moon meeting. They were so cold to him 🥺
Leaves his little fangs sticking out against his bottom lip if you're in a grumpy mood.
Loves petting your hair and your skin. Will order the finest oils and bejeweled combs to preen his "soft, pretty little pet."
Buys you the prettiest clothes. Sits cross-legged on the floor and applauds you when you try them on for him.
The oral fixation on this guy...
He doesn't require sleep, so sometimes when you're asleep and he's bored, he likes to get between your knees and... wake you up 👀
Loves how you squirm and whimper in your sleep. You belong to him when conscious and in your dreams.
Tried masturbating after he figured out he could cum. Wasn't all that into it. Felt kinda lonely.
Experimented with jerking off in front of you while you pleasured yourself for him, which was a little more fun, but he only really cums when he's fucking you.
Enjoys seeing you wear his "pearls"
Loves to cook for you! And he's really good at it too. Will never share his recipes.
Has had intrusive thoughts about sharing you... especially with Muzan. The thought of his master coveting his beloved... *shivers*
Oh but he couldn't bear to see his favorite toy get broken.
He adores you far too much to let anything happen to you.
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seancekitsch · 9 months ago
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Hello! Here’s the fic idea I commented earlier, sorry if I sent it the wrong place the first time 😅.
This is my first time asking but what if you did a fic where Lucifer gets startled by the reader (if you do that sorta thing) while he’s working on a duck or smth and his wings pop out and the reader (again, idk if you do that, maybe another character?) teasingly touches his wings and he gets really flustered because ✨sensitive wing trope✨ and whatever happens after that is purely up to interpretation and yeahhhh, that’s my fic idea! :3
hey dont worry! i know im prone to losing track of things i just wanted to make sure i didnt lose it :)
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Curiosity has been killing you all day. It started with the chipper mood Lucifer had walked into his work shop with, and only increased when you started to hear the noise of tinkering tools. He’d cheerfully told you not to let anyone disturb him today, which, was a welcome change from the gloomy way he used to drag himself to this same workshop. With the way you’d have to drag him out to eat, the way you’d have to pretend you couldn’t hear him mumbling to himself through the door. It was easier for Lucifer if you pretended that you didn’t know about what he was going through, so you did just that, and he rewarded you with his loyalty and generosity, and dare you say it: his companionship.  Being his assistant for the past few years, you’d seen a change in him the more time he spent with his daughter. It was nice. This is the happiest you’ve seen him in a long time, and the curiosity is killing you. 
The sounds of a drill, the sounds of hammering, the sounds of clinking metal drift out from the door to where you’re sat, a plush lounger where you get to turn away any uninvited guests (thought there never are any). This isn’t the typical soundscape you hear when Lucifer has a new duck idea. You stop scrolling Sinstagram, throwing your phone onto the cushion as the nagging thought to check on him finally consumes you. 
You push open the door carefully, the sounds of tinkering growing louder. 
“Hello?” you ask, “Luce?”
No answer. Then you spot him, his coat haphazardly thrown to the side, working on the table near the window hunched over and in full focus.
“Hey?” you call again, your voice just loud enough to carry across the workshop space. 
Lucifer jerks up from the desk he’s hunched over, clearly having not heard your knocking before entering. He knocks his hip into the edge of it, jostling all of his tools, clanking together. Your calling out to him seems to start a chain reaction, one that ends with a carving tool hitting the ground and three sets of wings suddenly sprouting from already designated holes from your boss’ burgundy velvet waistcoat. 
Holy shit. You haven’t seen him like this since… well, extermination day. And sure, other demons have wings, but his are magnificent, in a way that even made you give pause to admire them amongst the bloodshed of that day. You shoulder slump, awestruck at the demon in front of you. Your feet seem to move of their own accord, crossing the space between you and your boss. 
“Oh! I’m sorry,” Lucifer’s shoulders sag, relaxing as he realizes its just you, “I didn’t hear you come in.”
You shake your head, a smile spreading across your lips. 
“I should have been louder,” you offer, and step closer, admiring his wings still not retracted. Lucifer relaxes too, smiling at the welcome intrusion. 
“So what brings you into workshop today, huh?” He asks, and then falters, “Not that uh— not that I’m not happy you’re in here it’s just uh— you know, you don’t usually…”
“I got curious,” you answer, cutting off any rambling he’s going to do. Lucifer has been rambling a lot more often lately. So unsure of himself, it’s sweet. 
You reach out, fingertips brushing against the tips of crimson red feathers.
“Haven’t seen these in a while,” you muse, rubbing your thumb across the top of one wing. They’re softer than you expected them to be, rich luxe down that you’d expect of the worlds most expensive pillow. Your eyes follow them to where they lead back into his waistcoat, connecting to his back. What would his bare back look like? 
A groan interrupts your thoughts, and glancing to Lucifer’s face, his teeth are bared. Oh shit. What a fucking mistake. 
“I’m sorry, Sir! I hope I didn’t hurt you I didn’t-” you yank your hand back as if its been burned, fear spreading like ice in your veins that you’d irreconcilably fucked this up and maybe now you’re out of a job and you’d never be able to see him again, stuck finding work with the Vees or even worse. 
Lucifer inhales sharply, and then sighs. 
“No, no please don’t be sorry,” he reaches out for you, as if he’s scared too. His gloved hands cradle your hand, the one that dared to touch his wing. 
“You didn’t hurt me,” he assures you, a sheepish smile spreading across his features, just alabaster cheeks growing red as he keeps talking, “My wings are, well, they’re… sensitive?”
His voice rises as if he’s questioning himself in his own explanation. It takes you a moment, searching the King of Hell’s face for an answer before it hits you, almost taking the wind out of your chest. Oh, you realize. That was not a groan of pain. Fuck, this is awkward. 
“Oh I’m,” you pause, are you sorry? “I’m sorry.”
Lucifer searches your face, his mouth falling into a frown. 
“No! Please, don’t be. Stop apologizing,” Luficer’s hands start pulling yours, beckoning you closer to him again. You comply, stepping back into his personal space. Lucifer places your hand back onto his wing, smiling again. 
“I liked it,” he tells you, smile starting to melt into a smirk. Your hand travels along the top of the wing, smoothing out any feathers out of their spot. Lucifer shudders as your hand moves, a sigh leaving his lips. 
Emboldened, you keep going, running your nails along them, down between feathers. 
Lucifer reacts… exquisitely. His hands shoot out to grip your hips, fingers digging into you. He starts panting, the blush growing across his skin. 
“Been a while since you’ve been touched like this, huh, Sir?” you ask, pushing your luck. Lucifer nods as he lets his forehead fall against your shoulder. He moans into the side of your neck as he wraps himself further around you. 
“What were you making?” you ask him, finally remembering what you even came in here for. Though, this seems better than the original reason; With you quickly feeling yourself go weak at the sound of the noices falling from Lucifer’s lips and the feeling of his hot breath fanning out along your neck. 
“Fuck,” he pants, “Gift for you.”
His hands start wandering, moving from your hips to your waist and back down, just short of coming around to cup your ass. You would let him if he did. 
“For little old me?” you tease him, though internally, you could scream. It touches deep inside of you that he’d think of you like that enough to make you something. 
“Mmm, of course,” he hums, nuzzling his face closer into your neck. His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against him as your nails rake through his wing, the two of you pressed together in desperate intimacy. 
Your breath hitches when his knee knocks between your own. 
“Th- thank you, Sir,” you whisper, your voice airy and far away. 
Lucifer chuckles against your skin, his grasp on you tightening. 
“Don’t thank me just yet,” he says, “I’ve got another gift for you if you want it.”
You don’t need to be a genius to read between the lines of what he means. Hell, now you see it. What a charmer. 
“Oh yeah?” you challenge him, your free hand coming up to touch the buttons of his waistcoat. Lucifer pulls back, his pupils blown wide as he looks at you like a prize to be won.
"Get on the table and I'll show you," he says.
And then it's like you can't move fast enough.
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noellefan101 · 10 months ago
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Too Scared to Let Go(To Lose You)
Characters; Lynette, Navia, Xiao, Scaramouche, Lyney, Kaeya, La Signora x gn Reader
Summary; they wont let go of you, no matter what. They can't protect you from harm when they aren't there, so they hold you close to ensure you're there. they've already lost so much.
Warnings; angst, maybe a little bit yandere,
Notes; i did the obvious like xiao, scara, signora and stuff but if i make a part two ill maybe put someone like barbara or nilou in, but that would just be them having intrusive thoughts... probably. will add diluc and venti there as well dont worry, love you
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Lynette
She always thinks that you're going to die at some point, get kidnapped or just straight up leave, these thoughts come up once every week or so. But when your out and about or just working late, her thoughts run faster than ever. Of course she has lyney and the rest of the house, but she's just gotten so used to being with both lyney and you now that it doesnt quite feel the same. So her solution is often to hug you as tight as she can when sleeping, hoping you wont disappear in the morning.
And of course you try and help her as much as you possibly can, reassuring her that you wont leave and that youll find a way to get back to her no matter what happens when out and about, but that sometimes just doesnt cut it.
She doesnt cry often, but when she does its a lot, tears streaming down her face for an hour or two, and even longer if you, Lyney and Freminet aren't there with her.
Navia
She cant let go of you in the morning, it was always like that, but it had gotten so much worse after the loss of her two beloved bodyguards. She often mumbles in her sleep about you and how she wants you to stay. Something along the lines of:
“no… no, don’t go, stay… please!! Just stay with me!”
“please stay… stay with me… where did you go… no, come back, please…”’
“[name]… please stay with me… please… just stay…”
You have to wake her up when it seems like she’s panicking and try your best to comfort her, but sometimes she just doesn’t get any sleep because she wants to make sure you don’t disappear while she is asleep. She is of course the same shining Navia when around other people like the Traveler and Paimon, but everyone can see that she doesn’t want to let go of you at all, fearing you’ll vanish if you leave her line of sight for even just a second, its like you’re glued to her.
If people ever see you, they know for a fact that Navia is also there, no matter what. Oh, you want to go over and wish your friend a happy birthday, well she can carry a gift for them with her so you don’t have to. You wanted to cook something but is missing one singular ingredient, you can you go get it together, don’t worry she isn’t putting back anything for it (she totally is, and has multiple offers and such she should be taking a look at rn).
Xiao
He says he shouldn’t be near you all the time, but doesn’t let go when you make him give in to his desires. He’ll hurt you, and you know that, so why are you still here with him. Wait, no, he isn’t trying to make you go away, please don’t, ever. He just cares about you enough to not want you getting hurt because of his karmic debt, he loves you too much to let that happen. But the thought of you leaving him fills his mind more than the karmic debt at times, he dreads it, the fact that you’ll leave eventually, he doesn’t care if its by choice or fate, just don’t. please, please, please don’t leave, just stay with him, please.
He doesn’t want to let go, but feels he needs to, you tell him its fine yet he feels like it isn’t. it feels like he’s hurting you every second of being with you, yet he doesn’t try to let go, he doesn’t even give the thought a chance. you say you’re fine, yet he feels like you’re not. He
feels like hes hurting you, he’s hurting more because of it. But then why does it hurt more without you, why, oh why. What have you done to him, just what did you do that made him so addicted to you. Swear you’ll never leave him ever, and he will do the same, as long as you’re here with him he swears he wont hurt you, he’ll break the karma in half for you, he’ll do anything. Just don’t leave him, please don’t.
Scaramouche
Everyone would say he’s too cocky, confident, and mean. But that’s all because he doesn’t let them see the vulnerable side of him, the leftovers of Kunikusuhi, the side he only shows to you. He shows you they way he cries at the mere thought you could leave him one day, he sobs in your chest as you comfort him and let him focus and anything but the nightmares haunting his being. He wont ever be like that with anyone that isn’t you, he doesn’t give a shit about them they can do whatever, but you have to stay.
He doesn’t care about all the others as long as you don’t leave him too, he doesn’t care about anything other than you. So please, please don’t leave him, ever, he would watch the world burn over and over again as long as he has you.
If you ever told anyone that the 6th harbinger, scaramouche, cries at night just because you left to go get a glass of water, they would call you crazy, say he’s never cried in his life that you must have seen things. But you know its true, and he does too, even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He knows you wont go, you always say you wont, but he just cant let himself to believe you, not when he’s been lied to so many times. He worries too much about you and he knows that, but how could he not, he loves you, and will never let you leave him because you love him too, right?
Lyney
Although he may be the confident, charming and romantic magician Lyney everyday in public, when he finally lets go of the role at home he’s nowhere near that. He cries just because he wanted to see you and he finally did, he worries about not being able to save you someday. He’s a worrywart to say the least
If you were gone for too long, whether on a mission from father or anything else really, he would not be calm at all until you come back. he would only be rather calm after he got a letter from you or in one of his shows where he put too many layers of masks on to hide it. he wants to think that your ok, just as Lynette say you are, you're strong. but he still cant help but worry,and he ends up panicked and stressed, without sleep, too tired to think sbout anything else other than you. dont leave him, he wouldnt survive without you.
That's why you cant leave him. hell lose his mind, and destroy everything around him in the process. he cant let you leave, so please, please don't. his heart is already fragile, it beats only for you now, so don't leave. don't leave. don't... please... please don't, he cant handle that. so, please, don't leave him, ever. stay right here with him, forever.
Kaeya
He doesnt remember his birth parents, he hates them but a little bit, but mostly because they left him, he cant handle thinking about them. and it only made his pain worse when he lost the people he called his family once again, so he cant afford to lose anything else, not when he feels completely at home once again. you are his home now, his family, and his joy. so don't leave or he might lose his mind and start ruining himself from the inside and out.
He loves you, a lot, you're his reason to continue in life. so if he ever sees you leave he would cry, even if all you are doing is leaving his office after giving him his lunch, he would shed a tear at the sight. his heart is fragile ok? He can't bear to lose his life once again, not after his parents left, not after his adoptive family left too.
Don't go, stay, stay right here with him and everything will be fine. i will all be fine, you trust him after all, and he won't let anyone touch you, let alone hurt you. you're safe here with him, don't worry about them, worry about him. you've got him wrapped around your finger without even knowing, you could want a certain sweet from Inazuma and he'll get it as fast as possible. you can get anything you want, ok? The only condition is that you stay right here with him, and only him.
La Signora
She swore she wasn’t going to fall for anyone after her first lover died, so why did she fall for you, how did she fall for you. Honestly you don’t know and she doesn’t either, she doesn’t know how you were able to melt her ice cold heart back to normal, even if only around you and you only, if anyone else is around it freezes back quicker than lightning can strike. She thought she wasn’t able to love again after he died, but you proved her wrong, so you can’t leave too. She cant deal with the death of her lover once again, so don’t leave her, ever.
You hug her in the night as she cries a little, mad at you for leaving her in her dream, but still not mad at you, as her anger is mostly to the world for doing this to her. But don’t worry, she’ll fall asleep eventually as she always does, she does need her beauty sleep after all. But that doesn’t mean she’ll wake up and easily let go again or just get out of bed, she’s stubborn and want you all for herself a little longer. She makes you talk a little as you carefully brush her hair like she taught you to do, and she relaxes a bit when you tell her you love her while kissing her head.
As long as you promise you wont leave her, and keep that promise, she’ll love you forever, she cant bare to see you go out the door even if its just for groceries, someone else can do that don’t worry. Just come and relax with her in a bath, she can wash your hair and you can wash hers. She’ll take care of you like you take care of her, just don’t leave, please. If you ever left her alone for too long she would freak out, she does everything with you, baths, shopping, paperwork even, so she cant bear to be left alone for longer than 30 minutes or she’ll panic. So don’t leave her please, please, please don’t, she’ll even beg for you to not leave her, just stay here with her.
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Thank u for reading this, i know this took a long time and I havent posted things these few like weeks I think but I may have writers block(idk why I say it like that) and this was made over like a few months actually heh, luv ya
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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qvrcll · 1 year ago
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Hello :) I saw you are tking requests and I have something on my mind for a quite some time...If you maybe could write Leon Kennedy ID x younger (like in her early 20s) girlfriend reader where they are making love and chris walk on them. But if you dont want to write it you dont need to so feel no pressure. have a nice day :)
rosemary
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summary: whilst you and leon share skin to skin contact in the fervent heat of your bedroom, a gentle intrusion seems to knocks things out of prospect. still, does it have to be so complicated?
warnings: female reader, ID ! leon, nsfw under the cut, getting walked in on EL OH EL, fluff if you squint i swear
a/n: hi lovely thank u for the request!! i had a great time writing this and i hope you enjoy :-)
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Leon was 180 centimetres of hard, breathing flesh — that, put up against you in such a compromising position as this, made things all too complicated. Brooding, in a sense that make things sweat, heave with pounding release.
Of course, he never played the fair game, however many times he swore he would.
He’s got you folded in half already, quivering cunt spurting a heat so delicious, it sinks him in like a vice when he gives into it. His hands, dangerous aviaries that hold every part of you in place, scavenge across your body like he has never seen you like this before. Never had you quite this deep, this desperate and thrashing before.
But he has, and he knows it all too fucking well.
“Like it when I do that, hm?” he spits out, throat abused by the abundant swell of groans and other string of pathetic noises that leave him. Still, he’s zeroed in on you only — the way you croon against him like a helpless little thing, bundled up beneath him in a mess of nerves, an assortment of pleas, pitching high from “r-right there!” and “m-mhm… just—like that…”
He’s learnt it all — your noises, twitches. The sensitive grip of skin underneath your thigh that leaves you breathless and moaning. Two, three, four slick fingers intruding your cunt, leaving you sore and satisfied the next day. He’s made love to you, and this only seems it, that familiar beckoning gush of your walls pressing against his cock like it had so many other times before.
And it’s barely coordinated, when your hand sinks lower, between the fervent slaps of either of your bodies in a distorted rhythm, seeking to pay attention to the awful throb of your clit and you mewl when his own hands quickly supersede yours in quick fashion. They’re larger, cover more space and bear more weight beneath the flesh, when he grants you some mercy by slathering any wetness against your clit and doing the work for you.
Aw, how sweet of you, Kennedy.
Is what you would have uttered. Smirked with a superlative sense of ungratefulness, if he wasn’t aiming to drill another hole into you.
“Fuck—“ he curses above you, and it all falls out of rhythm. A delicious combination of all your senses. A sign of your impending release.
You remember the gruelling trip back in his car.
You remember the awful coldness of the elevator as he pressed you against the familiar glint of it, mouth all full of the taste you and a raging sense of impatience.
You remember tripping into his room, already bare. Already responding to his cut-throat presses and licks in seconds.
“You close, sweetheart?” He calls you. But for you, it’s a reminder, that you are still here, underneath him. Writhing, thrashing, but with him nonetheless. Heated and throbbing, but fingers interlocked with his in ceremonious fashion. And the thought makes you smile, sloppy and twitching, through the lewdness of the thick air.
And you can do nothing except claw at him, use him as a living, breathing grounding machine. Can do nothing but hold him so desperately as you break, count the wrinkles against his forehead as he pushes into you again. Await the swift hit of release as you choke out, “Y-Yeah… I—I’m… close… mnng—“
“Leon? You in here?”
The additional voice is distant, airy almost. You almost wonder if you’d imagined it, sorted it out of nothing from your deeply calibrated mess of a brain.
The sex must’ve driven me mad, you think. Almost laugh, but don’t, as light hits your eyes.
And that familiar coil in your tummy dampens, aches, is reduced to ashes as Leon scrambles for the blanket with a large scoff, wraps you gently with it and shields your body against his — the heat of your sweat and the lathering material from the blanket does more to irritate you, but it would do, when Chris himself was standing calcified and struck dumb with confusion in the arch of your doorway.
So much for locking the door.
“Chris, get out!” Leon yells, sifts for his shirt. Cards the floor for his pants and undergarments. He’s almost fully dressed as Chris grumbles out an apology, staggering out of the room with a limp you didn’t recognise he had ever worn before.
And you’re moth-eaten, hot, underneath the covers. Some part of you is mortified, but the larger part is aching for relief. Your legs are tense with the course of your muscles and sweat coats you in a messy sheen. But the ache between your legs is stagnant, mulling in sick waters like a beaten soldier.
“Sweetheart?”
It takes you a few counted minutes to realise your current predicament — Chris had seen the two of you in bed by pure accident, and with the last shred of consciousness you possess, you burst with colour. Still, Leon’s voice is molten. Electric. It sends sparks flying and frothing at your skin, as his arm skirts over yours in that familiar fashion — a silent kiss inked into your skin by touch alone, a low voice muttering ‘It’s alright. It’s okay.’
And he smiles, wide and large, smile lines soothing the ache and bringing you to be. You’re almost relieved, almost rid of that throe in you, sex nearly forgotten until he speaks again,
“Don’t touch yourself until I’m back. You can do that, can’t you? Hm?”
And as he leaves, smirking, you swiftly melt into the suffocating creases of your shared bed, charged up all over again.
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