#like i dont wanna die but that sounds better than living

[depresssant]

Shades of Cool

NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader

synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?

wsp guys. it's been pretty long, huh?... OK IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IT QUICKLY. here, damn 🙄. anyways, i hope yall enjoy n im glad u guys liked the first chapter. lets just hope this one lives up to yalls expectations 😭. follow me and repost this if u want a chapter three. also I NEED SOMEONE TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT SUNDAY FROM HSR BC I WANNA WRITE FICS ABOUT HIM SO BAD SO PLS SOMEONE EDUCATE ME N ALSO IF U KNOW LOVE AND DEEP SPACE??? PLS HIT ME UP AND EXPLAIN THIS LORE BC I WANNA WRITE YANDERE FICS FOR THEM SO BAD

“Why are balls called balls when testicles sounds hella fancier?”

At your friend’s bizarre question, the face of your other friend, Zarian, twinges in disgust. “Jayelene… why do you feel the need to put that out there?”

You huff in amusement, focusing on your pizza before what Jaylene says ruins your entire mood.

“I’m just saying! Testicles just seems more appropriate⏤the type of fancy shit drake and his family would say.”

Tim Drake Wayne…

Dinner with him and his freak-a-zoid family was like trying to make it past no-man’s land without any help to shield you from the straight up chilling vibes they gave off with their constant comments about bat facts. Bats. The atmosphere during the entire time you spent there was dreadful and quite literally heavy since Tim's youngest little brother wanted to sneak stares at you as if you wouldn’t notice his bug-looking eyes creeping into your soul.

Rich people really are weird, huh?

The Wayne family is nothing like how you expected them to be. They’re supposed to be cold, mysterious, and irresistibly enchanting, but all you’ve got are creepy vibes and a strong urge to stay away from them as much as possible. From the way Mr. Wayne made that weird comment about your father in the limo to how forcibly happy Richard or “Dick” was with you, you’ve come to an understanding that rich people are complete lunatics.

The Wayne family is full of a bunch of lunatics.

And you’re not afraid to voice that.

“There you go again,” Jaylene sighs when she notices the irritated expression on your face. “It’s never that serious, [Name]. You just hate everyone.”

“No, you don't get it! They were creepy as hell! Like… Like bats in dark caves coming at you all at once. They talk funny, they look funny⏤they act funny! What normal man name drops your mother’s name after knowing each other for about thirty minutes?”

Zarian huffs in amusement. “That’s the creepy part. How does Mr. Wayne know your name?”

“I dont know.” You run your fingers through your hair and lean back against the booth seat. “I don't want anything to do with them. Billionaire or not, how the hell does he know my mother’s name.”

It was perhaps towards the end of your stay at the Wayne’s manor for dinner, and you knew you had to go home, so you had largely hinted at leaving to Drake. Everything had gotten wrapped up, but when you were just about to leave, Mr. Wayne had told you, “make sure to tell [M/n] I said hi.”

You could only stare at him in shock as your body carried along, because how does a man as famous and wealthy as bruce wayne know your mother⏤your mother? He’s the chief executive officer of Wayne Enterprises yet mentions your mother?

That moment alone is enough to wave every red flag in your brain that screams at you, telling you something is up with these shady people. The only question is what? What can a billionaire possibly want from you? Out of everything the world has to offer, the most influential billionaire in America wants to target some meager high school kid?

What do these people want from you? Is it a rich people thing to play around with those below you? Well, you guess it probably is. Like, is Mr. Wayne gonna pop out with his soulless eyes and say, ‘you’re my long lost child?’ or something?

You still don’t know why you’re being a goat stuffed before slaughtering. These people want something from you, but you? You’ve got nothing to offer that they could want. Why the hell do they even bother? If there's one thing you really hate, it’s being left in the dark like this. Not knowing is terrifying. It's dangerous. Not knowing means not being prepared, and if you’re not prepared, you won’t make it out. Damn it, you should’ve booked it the moment Mr. Wayne mentioned your father in the limo. Movies and shows always display rich people as eccentric and psychopathic weirdos, and now you’re finally believing it.

Damn it.

You’re in danger. Okay.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.

You’ve watched enough true crime and have enough intuition and trust in your gut to know when something is wrong.

It’s not adding up.

You’re not dumb. You see all the warnings there, but what if you're exaggerating. What if this is just the nature of the Waynes, and you think you’re special enough to be noticed by them? Mr. Wayne is a damn billionaire! He’s got the money to do whatever he wants, so it’s only natural for him to do a background check on everybody that interacts with his sons, right?

It’s all in your head… It’s all in your head.

Sighing, you stare at the plate of food in front of you, appetite long gone. Still, you grab a fork and continue to eat as Zarian and Jaylene scream back and forth next to you. Drake, who had accompanied the three of you to the diner after practice, has left, thankfully. He left as soon as his food arrived while talking about some family emergency, and honestly, you’re pretty damn grateful for that.

Ever since dinner at his house, he’s surrounded you like a pillow smothering you, and you can’t do anything about it. He’s a billionaire’s son, for fuck’s sake.

It doesn’t take long for you and your friends to finish up, and you all part ways at the door of the diner before you clutch the straps of your backpack and walk around the city endlessly. This is a habit for you now⏤a way to put off going home as much as possible ever since you found out your mother’s boyfriend doesn’t come home until one or two in the morning.

That balding, ugly, sleazy piece of shit.

He’s as gross as every other man your mother’s brought home under the terribly veiled illusion that he’ll provide her a good life and treat her right. No matter how many times you try to tell that blind bitc… No. It's wrong. It’s not your mother’s fault.

But it sometimes feels like that, though.

Most mother’s destroy their own lives for their children, yet yours cannot even think about leaving the man that beats her child on a daily. Those types of mothers leave their spouses the second they see something wrong, while your mother treats those finger-print bruises around your neck like a necklace instead of abuse.

You’ve given up on her. You gave up on her back when you were eleven years old locked in a room with her boyfriend, and she didn’t listen. Or when you were twelve. Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Or fifteen. Or sixteen. Or seventeen. And now eighteen.

And each day feels like a repetition of the same. Wake up, go to school, practice, walk around, go home, get beat, and sleep like none of it all happens. It’s a routine you despise with every fiber of your being⏤makes you wanna jump over Gotham City Bridge before thinking about returning home because who would want to? Who wants this average life?

A life where you’re not happy enough, not sad enough. Not good enough, not bad enough. Not energized enough, not tired enough. You feel like a survivor of a plane crash floating on a raft at the center of the endless ocean with no way out. Everything just seems so vast, wide, and unreachable. How can you find the shore on a simple raft? How can you find a way out of inescapable misery if it’s not by drowning?

You’ve been waiting to find the shore, but it’s been a whole eighteen years since you’ve found yourself floating along the ocean.

That whole “it’ll get better” shit is a tragic lie.

Whatever.

It doesn’t matter⏤not anymore, at least. You’re going to get far away from this place and never look back. Never have to relieve this wretched city. Never have to be confined by chains again. You’ve only a few months left before you’re free.

Until then, you’ll have to be patient and go home because the sun has fully disappeared.

Nothing but satellites twinkle in the disgustingly polluted sky of Gotham City, and the streets have come to a staggering halt as you stroll about the sidewalks, trying to find the longest path to get home. One in the morning is always the perfect time in Gotham because it’s too late and too early to be outside, so it’s generally safe for a walk.

Of course, the universe likes to prove you wrong at every point.

The sound of a thud followed by a pained groan behind you has your legs locked and ready to run with your brain screaming alerts, but you take a deep breath and turn around. How bad can it get, anyways? The sight before you surprised you nonetheless. It’s… Nightwing, a Bludhaven hero, here in Gotham, just randomly popping up behind you?

With clear bleeding cuts and sprouting bruises across his body.

In the random alley you just happen to be in?

No. You’re looking into it too much.

His eyes lock onto and they make you freeze right then and there like he’s cast some spell upon you. But that’s for a cold, brief second before you’re hooking your thumbs under the straps of your backpacks and turning around hot on your heels, refusing to spare him a single second. 

You even hear him murmur a strained, “wait,” but you don't care. 

It’s rude, mean, cruel, and it’s also none of your business. All you simply do is walk ahead to your approaching doom with an pit of unease and bitter understanding of your helplessness in your stomach. You can already feel the soon-to-be new bruises blooming along your back.

You’re not a good person.

But, really, who is?

Smoking really does skill.

But now you know why people do it.

Each drag is more out of necessity than it is a choice ever since you’ve met your friend’s plug at the dumb age of sixteen, but it's a way to dull the harsh truth of reality. The world just fades into nothing but muted and mixed colors like the loud city underneath your balcony it blurs into a faint hum the longer you stare at the spiral puffs of smoke that disappear into the air. 

Everything’s bitter⏤the joint and you.

Really bitter at the blood semi-dried on your face and the dull ache along your back.

You’ve got about an hour and a half until you have to head out to school, so what other way is there to spend it than smoking away your brain? The joint’s a temporary escape, but it helps you stall whatever new feeling of despair you’ll feel for the day. Until you’re interrupted by your phone buzzing⏤the sound still a dull hum in your ears

“... Hello?”

“[Name]!”

Zarian’s voice?

“Where the hell are you? Hurry up and get to school or else you’re gonna get in trouble for not helping to set up the club fair, and coach will be on our ass! And don't forget to bring money for the tickets!”

Coach?... Club fair?... Club fair! Holy shit!

Your eyes shoot open, and you frantically scramble up, tossing the joint over the balcony railing before hectically staggering through the living room like a drunk man. Damn it, how could you be so clueless and forget such an important event? Especially one you need money for! Damn it⏤damnit! What do you do?

… Mom! She’s got a box of money somewhere in her closet, right? You’ve seen it before! It's just twenty dollars, and she wont notice. Okay… Okay. You’re quick to get ready. You wash away all the blood that’s dried on your face, brush your teeth, and change into baggy jeans and a clean shirt before storming into your mother’s bedroom and rummaging through her things. 

She’s off at work. Her bastard boyfriend doesn't come home until late at night, which means he’s probably already taken money for the day. Okay. That's fine. They won't notice.

But you can't find anything! What the hell? Where is that fucking box? You could’ve sworn it was there on the top shelf last night, but as you swipe your hands across everything on the shelf, you can’t find it. All of a sudden, something made of wood hits the top of your head and falls to the ground with a crack. You hiss, palm moving to cover where you got hit, but your eyes land on the box that now has money strewn all across the floor and a broken… false bottom?

What the fuck.

You pull away at the rest of the false bottom to only be met with countless photos of you as a child with your mother. Mom’s shit boyfriend had all the family photos taken down for some weird reason, so they’ve been here this entire time? All of these photos are full of you throughout every stage of your life, but some have different people in them as well. Their faces are either scratched out or they’re ripped out of the photo entirely.

From what you can gather, the figures are a man and what seems to be a teenage boy. The absurdity and even slight creepiness of the scratched out faces has you laughing, yet even with your now dulled senses, your eyes land on a photo you failed to notice earlier. Maybe you’re hallucinating. There must be something wrong with your brain. Or your eyes. The universe must be playing with you because is that a photo of you and a teenage-looking dick grayson?

Your eyes widen because it looks just like the strange man you had the unfortunate opportunity of having a conversation with during dinner with the Waynes. It’s him! More importantly, why the hell is he holding a ‘three year old’ you’s hand? You probably should be screaming. Yelling. Maybe panicking? But all you can do is shuffle through the rest of the box before your fingers graze against something metal that has your heart jumping.

It’s a small camera.

With a bat engraved on its side.

Ears ringing so loudly in your head you can't even think, you wipe your teary and red eyes hastily before grabbing a twenty dollar bill, putting everything except for the photo and camera in the box, set it back on the closet shelf, and hastily grab your backpack before making way to school.

The second you reach the damned place, you seek out your now three friends and drop into a seat with a heavy thud, sighing and meeting Tim's eyes with a burning gaze.

“You mean to tell me [Name] found the camera? And you decided to tell me after school?”

Time Drake Wayne sighs and runs his fingers through his black hair, shrugging apathetically while scrolling through every photo in his phone that he’s taken of you during the club fair. His brother, Richard, is pacing throughout his room anxiously as he rambles off about their latest fuckup. 

“Look, Bruce doesn't let any slip ups happen,” Tim murmurs in exasperation. “He wouldn't let this happen because [Name]’s mom and him talked this morning. Relax, he probably knows.”

It's not a lot, but it’s enough to calm Richard down. The man takes a deep breath but finds himself sitting down next to Tim, trying to get a good look at the pictures. “How mad was [Name]?”

“High, for starters, but clearly pissed off. Very observant, too.”

“Don’t tell anyone else. Not until Bruce gives us the okay.”

TAGLIST :

@ilovemyhusbandnanami (so real), @missikkj, @ferakillia, @darlinqvi, @soriansick, @sleepydhanie, @h0rr0r-10ver-69 (love ur blog aesthetic bae), @anuttellaa (OK WINX 😽), @feral-childs-word (love the pfp), @shycreatorreview, @friesandfixations, @stuff6969fuckyou, @babiebubsie, @jsprien213, @cattioo, @cherrydaisymanic (cheetah?leopard? printttt 😍), @00hellohello00, @princessloveweird, @amber-content, @idonthaveanameforthisacc, @f1lover4ever, @dreamsarenicer, @imaginarydreams, @solkara (love the calm aesthetic), @bobfood, @toast-on-dandelioms, @ijustfuckme, @cantfindmelol, @xx1shadow1xx, @azulawayne, @box-of-kinderjoy, @iamaunknownsecret, @missybabes, @phoenixgurl030, @couldeatthatgirlforlunch, @devils-blackrose, @arevvv, @freakthis, @yourhornysister, @kirahhhh, @perfectparadisegardener, @testishere, @spaceunicorn293, @vanilliona (love the pfpp), @uknowimdumb, @esposadomd, @dakotali, @lilyalone, @kore-of-the-underworld, @pix-stuff, @hellcatsworld, @chericia, @mspoisoncoil (love the bannnnerrr) , @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @cheeseburgercasserole (love the aesthetic), @twismare

so follow me n repost if u want part lll. and somebody pls explain hsr and love and deepspace lore to me. making a taglistttttt. if this post doesnt get as many likes as the first one, im deleting this series 😭. if u see a grammatical mistake, no u didnt 😃🔪

if anybody’s got requests about this series or in general, feel free to ask!!!

WAIT!! FOLLOW MY WATTPAD ACCOUNT : @depresssant. I JUS PUBLISHED A HISTORICAL YANDERE X READER STORY

[feyburner]

I loved LOVED a word, a look, will be enough. I’m obsessed with the way you write jason and tim. No pressure to answer this at all, but I was curious if you have a headcanon about how the missing spleen reveal eventually goes

Jay »

Good afternoon Timothy.

« tim

uh oh

Jay »

I just had a fascinating conversation with Doc thompson

Care to hazard a guess about what?

« tim

pollen season

Jay »

No.

« tim

bird flu

Jay »

Is there a reason you havent told anyone in your life that you dont have a fucking spleen?

« tim

okay first of all

i’m not sure why doc thompson felt the need to tell you my private medical information

pretty sure they have a rule about that

Jay »

It’s not her fault.

I mentioned that you got whammied with that stupid germ bomb from Typhoid Tony or whatever the fuck his name was

« tim

vik vyral

Jay »

And she got all serious and told me I should get you into the clinic asap, and I was like no he’s fine now, it was basically a 24 hour bug, and she was like no, theres no such thing as a 24 hour bug for him, he needs to come get his blood tested yesterday

And then she clearly realized I had no fucking clue what she was talking about and clammed up. Wouldn’t say a thing. Told me to ask you myself.

Jay »

The look she gave me when I said you slept it off and went back to work. Like I should know better. like I was letting you be careless and shit bc thats just how I am or something.

« tim

“letting” me?

Jay »

yeah. Letting you. I know you know what I mean

« tim

i’m not sure i do.

Jay »

When youre with someone you take care of them.

I dont pretend to know much about this shit but I know that.

I’m not talking about handcuffing you to the radiator. Im talking about knowing whats going on with you and knowing that sometimes you let shit slide that I wouldn’t. When it comes to you

You do that for me and the others all the time. Thats how it works.

« tim

doc thompson doesn’t know you’re “with” me

Jay »

If you think everyone doesn’t know exactly what’s going on then your detective skills need work

Jay »

Also, Jesus, Tim.

« tim

ok sorry, i didn’t mean the scare quotes part

but did you pause to consider maybe there’s a reason i haven’t told everyone other than whatever shortsighted masochistic bs you’re assuming

Jay »

I dont need you to tell everyone. I’m not asking you to write a report on it.

Just like. if there’s any other major medical shit can you maybe tell me

Before you fucking die of a sinus infection or whatever bc the asshole who lives with you didn’t know your immune system has the horsepower of a bicycle

« tim

did you know you curse more when you’re fronting like you’re not worried about me

Jay »

I’m actually not fronting! in this moment!

« tim

okay

well. i am sorry

that sounded sarcastic bc of who i am as a person

but it’s not. i mean it.

Jay »

Sorry for yelling at you

« tim

i dont wanna go into it over text but i’ll tell you tonight. okay?

about what happened.

also there’s nothing else. it’s just the spleen thing

ok?

Jay »

Okay.

« tim

well and the mango allergy

well. and i’m double jointed specifically bc i have joint-hypermobility syndrome

which is why im so flexible :)

but also why i dislocate things a lot :(

um and im mildly allergic to carrots, bananas, pineapples, and most legumes, but it’s fine they just make my tongue itch

i think that’s all

Jay »

Tim can you be honest with me for a second

« tim

yeah…

Jay »

Are you inbred

« tim

NSJDN/&2&jdj?!_£_??

Jay »

Like are you that type of rich person

You can tell me. We are not going to procreate so I dont mind either way

« tim

just scared the living shit out of an intern who had never seen me laugh before. i think she thought i was choking

jesus CHRIST

i will see you at home.

Jay »

You

didn’t answer the question….

[miyaheestar]

live reaction to the pack wedding audio

KISS SJSGJS DAVID KISS HAIII HAI DAVID 🥺🥺🥺

"i just want a little time with you today, before everything goes crazy" MSHSMHDMSHSM IM GONNA GO INSANE

IM GOING INSANE IM IM GOING IM INSANE IM ACTUALLY DGINGSJSYSISGSKGAJA

"how are you feeling?" NOT GOOD MY BODY TEMPERATURE IS HIGH IM GOING INSANE FYM YOU TOO

"WE MADE IT" WHAT IF I DONT MADE IT WHAF IF I CRY WHAT IF YOU DIE DO NAWT SAY YOU LOVE ME I WILL CRY DAVID SHAW I WILL ACTUALLY CRY SO HARD

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY"HE SOUNDS SO FUCKING HAPPY AND SOFT IM ACTUALLY CRYING IM NOT NAWT OKAY IM NOT PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME PLS

"beautiful" i haven't showered and i didn't sleep and it's 7 am in the morning are you blind

"you are. especially first thing in the morning. still all sleepy and cuddly and relaxed. im the luckiest man in the world to get to see it everyday.. for the rest of my life" do you want me to die?

MGSMSGSMSHSM I WANNA CRY SEND HELP SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOSBSOSBSOSBSOSJSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOWIS

pls i will actually cry

"you fucking menace" IM YOUR MENACE HAH

KISS

ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHWR ASHWR ASHERA AHEEDHA ASHER AHSER ASHW AAGE

oh he eepy baby 🥺

good morning asher 🥺

"oh my god it's actually today holy shit it's actually happening" HE'S LIKE ME FOR REAL FOR REAL

"when did you wake up" you think i sleep?

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SEXY?? AYO I KNOW I AM SEXY

"IM GONNA BE YOUR HUSBAND" WHAT IF I CRY WHAT IF I CRY WHA IF I ACTUALLY LOSE IT THEN WHST IF I DIE WHAT IF YOU DIE OH GOD DON'T DIE ASHER PLEASE

IM TEARING UP DONT DO THIS TO ME

ASHER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY YOU'RE NOT REAL

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE" I SAID IT FIRST SO THAT MEANS I LOVE YOU MORE

DAMN RIGHT ASHER DAMN RIGHTTTTT

"about the person who matters to me more than anything else in the whole damn world" STOP STOP THIS OFFICER OFFICER A WEREWOLF TRYNNA SEDUCE ME HE TRYNNA SEDUCE ME SIR I WILL DIE SIR IM BEING SEDUCED

okay scene change

SAM AND ASHER AUGSUAGUAGUAGUAGAUFAUAGAHHUFAHHHH

"mate pairs shouldn't see each other in the morning" DAMN RIGHT SO TRUE HEWL YEAHHH

MILOOOOOO MY BIG.. um SMALL BIG BOY

"grouchy grandpa" HELPPPP "now don't you start." HELLAGSISGSKSG HAHAHAHAHA

"oh my mistake" YOU'RE SO SASSY

... ITS JUST SILENCE HELPP IM CRYING

ERIK PLEASE HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO 😭😭😭

ERIK BODOH LAH KAU NI 😭😭😭😭

HELP PLEASE ENOUGH SILENCE PLS THIS IS WAY TOO FUNNY I'LL THROW UP

IM CRYING

STOP THIS

IT'S TOO LONG STOP THE SILENCE ERIK I WILL EAT YOUR HAIR AND YOU'LL BE BALD

ERIK

LMAO MILO NOT THE WARNING

CHRISSY

"are you trying to look like you got married in wind tunnel" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELPPP MILO PLEASE

"im fine.. i-im not" ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO

aww grandpa sam 🥺🥺🥺

AWWW DAVID HELPING ASHER

"david, can i ask you something?"

STOP STIP SRSOSO STIP SFOP STOP BITCH STOP I WIWLL CRY

"well i did" DO YOU WABT ME TO KILL EVERYONE THEN MYSELF

im not okag im not ojay im not okay I AM NOT OKAY

i cant do this I'll actually pass out

i cant

im hypervinelantagwtbf

"my dad-" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP DAVID SHAW SHUT UP

"i picked you because you're the one person i trust more than anyone else. you made me feel safe." I WILL ACTUALLY LOSE IT

I WILL LOSE IT

I WILL NO

I WIGSKSGWK

I AM GONNA CRY

"i was a decent alpha but i wasn't a very good friend" so you want me to kill myself

i am genuinely gonna cry

THEY'RE HUGGING IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY IN GONANNAHSGSISFWKSFISV IM NOT OKAY

"ash euw" I LOVE THAT

MILO DO NAWT HURT MA MAN I WILL EAT YOUR REMAINING HEIGHT

MILO SPEECH

"how much does it pay" BOSGSISGSJGAHAGAGAGAGAHAHAGAHA STAPH

what if i jump

i will jump

i won't

i will

i wont

I WILL SOB I WILL WIBSUSVWKSGSJ STOPAHSGSOGSOSGS

IM GETTING MARRIED YALL

IM IM IM IM

IM GONNA GET MARRIED

it sounds like asher and david getting married LMAO

"um" classic opening

asher if you cry YOU BETTER BE CRYING okay he's gonna cry

what if asher dies after his vows

I WILL BE A WIDOW OH GOD

"i love you" IM GONNA KILL MYSELF AND EAT ERIK'S HAIR

so it's just silence and giggles for babe's speech

got it

it's okay i love asher's giggles

"angel" I WILL JUMP BRO

I WILL

I WILL

I WONT IM SCARED OF HEIGHTS

david please cry

PLEASE CRY

GO FULL ON SOBBING

why guy is not angel's brother

HE'S CRYING YALL CHEERS

CHEERS

and he's laughing too

BUT HE'S CRYING YEAYYYYY

LMAO MILO HAHAHAHAGAHA PLEASEEEE

IT SOUNDS LIKE ASHER AND DAVID KISSING WOAH

... I NEED MORE

ERIK ERIK ERIKSON

[fromtheberrybush]

Egret Remembers

Egret remembers Berry- but isn't happy to know that the thing that's been alluding him about his life was something so utterly controllable. So he thinks. This is the conversation that follows..

tws: i actually don't know?? arguments, toxic family dynamics, referenced groomimg (v v vague- its like one scentence), sui attemp refence (not explicitly but if you know egret lore then yk)

His glare was piercing. Everything Berry thought it would be, and it hurt more than fae could ever imagine.

Maybe Berry was being selfish by holding those stolen memories so dear. Maybe it could be called self preservation.

"You fucking coward- you think you can just run away-? You left me there!"

"..." Berry stayed silent. There was no argument there- fae left him alone in that house.

"I thought-" Fae tried.

"Ya thought what-? That I wouldn't ever find out? That you'd finally be rid of me? That you'd escape-"

"THAT YOU'D HAVE IT BETTER-! They liked you- your life.. it should've been better.." Faer words started as a shout, shrinking in on themselves and ending as a whisper.

"..." Egret scoffed after a moment of silence, "Well- that fuckin' worked out didn't it-? I'm in Yokohama because Mom and Dad can't even look at me now- and you don't even know why."

Berry looks pained as he stops breathing for a second, "I know.. that it sounds bad but-"

"Do you-? Do you know that-?!"

"Fuck-! Yes- kid- I know that. I could- I could get to know you, if you'd let me-"

"You've long missed that chance, Ray. I'm not your fucking brother. You gave that up"

"...you're right. I'm sorry- for all it's worth"

"It's worth nothing."

It was nothing new- nothing Berry hadn't been telling faerself for the last four years.

But at least then fae had the fond memories of Egrets to lie to faerself. Now all he had was the disappointed stares of his parents and the hatred in the eyes of the brother he holds so dear.

Yeah, it's okay that Egrets would never forgive faer- because Berry wouldn't forgive faerself either.

"... You know, you're just like Mom and Dad. You can't even look at me- you can't bare to face your own fuck up. You wanna live in a fake reality with a fake family and replace what you had- and you can't even look at me." Egret sounded tired now- not angry or sad. Just tired.

Berry couldn't look at him. Fae couldn't look into the eyes and fae created- the hatred fae caused where there was once adoration.

But fae could say one thing, "It's not fake. What I've made for myself. And it's not replacing them- or you. It's just.. different."

"Fuck you and your 'different'- fuck that when I was stuck with Mom and Dad and their dinner parties and fake smiles and no one else. So forgive me for not being fucking estatic to hear you found something better than me and our fucked up family"

"I didn't say better-"

"-you didn't have to Ray-!" For the first time in a while tears welled in Egret's eyes. A weakness he'd sooner die than let anyone else see- yet here he was.

He continued, "You're happy- you can play happy big brother when I wasn't enough for you to stay with. I'm not an idiot"

Berry didn't look at him, "... I thought you were gonna be okay there."

"You thought wrong."

~~~~~~

blaaaah take this-

its not good ugh, but its here!! Don't kill me for berry & egret angst-

this happens in current timeline canon (or wtvr i call it)

tags!! @doakarma @aredeemantagonist @oscarsgallery @ezra-dark-shadow @myluckymoon @justsigma-bsd @paintedgrilledcheese (im trying to add new ppl just lmk if you dont wanna be tagged in stuff on the future) @the-fallen-collective @ilovefukuchi (i didnt forget u lil sis- shut up"

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[littlemissthunderstorms]

gorgeous

alex turner x fem reader

i don’t really know how to summarize it, so just read and find out!! it’ll be a fun little surprise! (also i quoted a line from better than the movies in here, i just finished that book and i LOVED it so dearly)

i couldn’t choose just one song 😣

late afternoon was dull. rain poured outside and the sky was grey, adding to the melancholy of the day. as you sit on the couch next to your best friend alex, you couldn’t help but stare at the rain pattering against the window, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. you had just recently broken up with your boyfriend, you realized he wasn’t the one and it made you sad. it was easy to let your thoughts spiral, you wondered if you’d ever find your person, if anyone would ever love you that much. could you be loved? you didn’t want to be lonely forever and then become an old lady living alone with her fifty cats in an old apartment. would you die alone? oh my god and then who would even take care of the cats? would anyone even know you died? what if- “ahem.” you jumped slightly, raising your eyebrows at alex who was looking at you with a funny expression, accompanied by a head tilt.

“soo movie or no?” alex chuckled. “you ruined my train of thought.” you smiled as you kicked him playfully. alex had always been your best friend, you had always been there for eachother and this was no different. he’d been hanging out at your house practically the second your boyfriend had moved out and you didn’t mind at all. alex laughed softly, brown eyes not leaving yours. as you gazed at the boy, your smile faded into a frown, your earlier thoughts returning to haunt you. alex noticed this, furrowing his brows. “you alright?” you hadn’t really allowed yourself to overthink too much since your boyfriend left, and now that you had really thought about being alone, it destroyed you. anxiety plagued you, filling you only with distress and thoughts of loneliness.

“i dunno.” you shifted your gaze to your lap, fiddling with your rings. “you wanna talk about it?” alex shuffled closer to you on the couch. you shrugged, eyes still fixated on your lap, averting his gaze. “is it about him?” you noticed how close alex was, causing your heart to race a little faster. “um- no.” you paused. “well, yes, related. i mean, it’s not exactly about him, like the fact that i miss him or anything. which i dont. not really. that seems kinda mean, but it’s true.”

you looked up at alex nervously to find him looking back at you, silently urging you to continue talking. “its just- i’m nervous i’ll never find anyone. sounds fucking stupid now that i’m saying it aloud but um..” you gulped nervously. alex eyes were soft and caring and the effect he had on you right now was concerning. nevertheless, you continued.“i’m scared to be alone forever, i just want to love someone and be loved. and i’m so scared thats not going to happen and i’m scared nobody will ever find me pretty enough to love me. i dont know.” you weren’t even thinking now, the storm of anxiety that occupied your mind now letting loose. “i’m just nervous i guess. i dunno, its silly.” you sighed “maybe i’m just overthinking.”

you kept your gaze on your lap as you finished your rant, too flustered to look at alex. he was close. really close. why was your stomach all swirly? the thunder outside filled the silence for a few moments. alex grabbed your hand, causing you to meet his eyes. “hey. don’t think like that. you’re gorgeous.” the way alex was talking to you, the way he was looking at you, soft brown eyes shimmering in the candlelight, all smiley and sweet. it was getting hard to breathe. you were so distracted by him that you forgot to respond. “thank you.” you muttered pathetically, making him chuckle softly, hand not leaving yours. the house was quiet besides the muffled sound of thunder and rain from the nasty storm outside that was getting more intense by the minute. candles and lamps emitted a soft glow throughout the room, casting faint shadows on the walls.

the way he was looking at you made your heart flutter. your eyes darted down to his lips for a split second before quickly looking back up at his eyes. shit. don’t look at his lips don’t look at his lips. the tension was so thick you were sure lightning was bound to strike between you two any second. the house was too quiet. was he getting closer? you nervously broke eye contact for a split second, your stomach fluttering as you looked back at him. he didn’t move, eyes still locked on yours. your face heated. “um- so what movie did you wanna wat-“you didn’t even finish your sentence before his lips were all over yours, nose pressed into your cheek and hand cupping your face. he kissed you like it was his job and he wanted a raise. you eagerly kissed him back, squeezing his hand tightly as you brought your other hand up to rest on his shoulder. he leaned over you, gently pressing you against the arm of the couch as he kissed the shit out of you. you brought your free hand to grab ahold of his hair, deepening the kiss which elicited a sigh out of him.

the intensity of the kiss increased as a strike of lightning illuminated the sky for a few moments, a loud boom of thunder following, rumbling the ground. you pushed your hand up his shirt, his skin warm. his tongue slid across yours. his hands were in your hair. your leg was wrapped around his waist as the kiss deepened, teeth colliding and soft sighs filling the air. another rumble of thunder shook the ground and just like that, the lights were out. you broke the kiss, the two of you gasping for air. the room was dark, almost pitch black.

and if it weren’t for the soft light of the streetlamps, the glow of the candle in the other room, or the incandescent moonlight, you might’ve not been able to see alex smiling down at you.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

hope this made you giggle and kick your feet, goodnight!

ps. this is like my third time writing anything ever so if it’s bad don’t come for me

[a-thousand-attempted-words]

So you wanna write better

Forests!

Dont worry, its not that hard! By the end of this, you'll most likely have some extra juicy ideas on all the things you can put into your forrest scenes (from a certified "I live next to a forest and also studied this" person).

Ive divided this into Emotions, Smell, Sound, Sight and Feel. Scroll to whichever part you need help with!

The literal forest

Forests are places of change in literature. That doesnt mean every forest needs to change your protagonist. But because they are often vast, unclaimable and dangerous - not to mention mythical and powerful, primal and maybe divine - they tend to have an effect on your protagonist.

A place of change (or power) can mean many things, and depending on your story and your stories culture, this might not apply. But generally speaking, a forest is a large and uncomprehensibly complex thing that provides an opportunity to face nature.

But! Remember that this thinking stems from the culture vs. nature debate in literature and you do not have to follow it.

The natural forest

Emotions

By day, a forest looks very different than by night. Its almost a beast in itself, a gnawing machine that does not care for you.

How does your protagonist feel by day, when everything is bright and loud and endless and green? When water gurgles and birds chirp at them. How do they feel by night, when lack of light makes shadows endless and the reduced sounds echo in a vast and uncaring void? Does their campfire provide enough warmth against the elements? Do they have lanterns, flashlights, specialty goggles that allow them to see? The forest creaks and shouts without them needing to witness it, it echoes and enlarges sounds, swallows them too. Are they familiar with that? Does their heart raise at the foreigness of it all?

Horror

Remember that cityfolk tend to be freaked out by forests much more than ruralfolk. Remember that sounds that could be familiar to you (the creaking of wood with heat and cold, the strange chirps of birds, the blubbering of a spring) could be completely foreign to another. Remember that everything Ive written from here on out relies heavily on familiarity. Remember that the size of a forest also determines how calming it is.

How far are you from civilisation? Who could come to help you? Which animals are out there? Which familiar sights arent around you at the moment?

A forest that leaves you stranded and closed off from civilisation is terrifying to everyone who doesnt know the land. It is a maw. It could bite down any moment. A forest without signs, without manmade paths, without civilisation is a place to die in. Or a place to get lost in. The horror of the forest is the forest itself. Its the fact that you dont know it. It is the fact that it is an endless stretch of unknown that does not care for you.

Sound

Forests are incredibly "loud" in a subtle way. There are always birds, insects, the wind in the leafs, the steps of animals over wood, leafs, water. You can listen to some birdcalls online (some of them are super strange) or search on sites like freesound.org for natural recordings of forests to grasp just how much fucking Sound™ there is. Silence in a forest means bad things. Are the animals dead? Hiding? Where did all the insects go? If there isnt any buzzing, are there still worms? Bugs? What happened to the wind? If your forest is silent, thats a choice. Employ it!

Smell

Forests tend to smell "fresh". I know, that degree really serves me. But in all honesty: You are walking through a natural lung. The air is being filtered 24/7. Forests literally breathe like you and I do and they are excellent at it. If you are closer to running water this increases. After rain, the air has qualities of that grass scent you know from your garden. You also smell a lot of rot. Leafs, trees, dying plants. They tend to smell good to us. The only time that rot becomes unbearable is (afaik) two cases:

The carcass that is rotting is an animal of larger size. Small sized animals dont "smell" unless you're very close to them. And most animals that are small get taken by scavengers. You wont find them rotting, because they will be eaten before you get there. Its only once the carcass is so large that it cant be eaten at once or fast or it has some venomous qualities that you will find rot.

The other options is rot in still water. It wont smell immediately, but still water tends to take on scent after a few days. The scent of still water should be familiar to you from old puddles or algae infested waters. It will be ridden with bacteria and - and dont forget about this - larvae! Amphibians and insects love some stiller waters for that stuff.

Sight

This might be easiest: You've probably seen a forest in your lifetime. I wont bore you with "green leafs" and "blue skies". Instead, lets go over some more uncommon scenarios, often forgotten:

Moss. Moss is everywhere. Its on stones, on wood, on treebarks. There are over a hundred different species of moss. Google them. Moss in itself is a little eco system.

Treewounds (also known as tree cancer). Trees get nibbled on. They get scratched at. They have sicknesses. And then they tend to grow in these tumor looking things. Apart from that, they can have gaping open wounds from broken off branches, from birds pecking into them, from insects infesting them. Trees paint the history and the health of a forest. Take time to mention what they look like.

Pathways. Even if no human (or other protagonist species) has ever set food into your forest. There will be paths in the undergrowth. Paths often traveled by many tiny paws. They tend to lead to other such paths, to water, sometimes to good food sources and to gathering places. You need to train your eye a little but you'll find them.

Nests. For insects, for birds, for everyone involved. Clusters of larvae under bark or stone or attached to ferns, swimming in water, nestled into mud. Birdnests placed into treeholes and cliffsides. Holes in the ground that lead to mice, rabbits, you name it.

Feel

What does a forest feel like? That depends. Bark is incredibly textured. It has valleys and hilltops, it swirls under your fingers like a miniature map of cartography. No bark is the same. Birches are flat, fruit trees are coarser and the older the tree, the gnarlier it is. Look at pictures of trees and look at the bark. Stones can be all kinds of coarse and rough but they are so much softer when overgrown with moss. They are almost like pillows. The pathways are often soft soil, compressed by hundreds of feets. They might have stones in them. Waterbeds are muddy and soft, but oftentimes carry pebbles and other uncomfortable rocks in them. Mud itself is like a very soft peeling. Most dirt in waterbeds has been washed clean and soft by time. The newer a waterbed, the coarser it is. The middle of the riverbed will always be harsher than the sides. Mud deposits as sediment after all. Clay feels soft too. Sticking your feet and hands into the muddier parts of a river is always a gamble. There might be something living there. Be aware.

Oh look, a transition

Hope this helps anyone! Have a great day :)

If you have any further questions or suggestions, do ask!

[yumeyleo]

i want to die cause im terrified of aging, im scared of getting older, We're dying anyways, everything we do will be pointless in a few several decades. And in the past i would take that as a sign to live life as i want to, but i want to be remembered. But i wont be remembered because i wont make some uber big discovery or write an awesome book or do anything impactful. and im fine with that, ive accepted it. Life is pointless, joys are fleeting, all this world is is a tragedy, that sounds so emo and edgy but fuck itim alwaedy writing so many emberassing things today, im gonna hate myself in the morning ;-;. most of us, we're all dying anyway, some of us faster than others. I wanna die cause im sick of having to do stuff... cause im lazy, basically. i think death is both punishment and a gift. I think i deserve to die for all ive done on this earth, but it'll also be a treat for not being too unaware of my actions. (teh slef awareness makes me better, but also makes me worse) Theres also just this deeprooted (maybe rooted in my soul) (i dont understand souls, i want to, though) need in me to die, to feel death. its been there since day one. i sound so ew omg...i was too busy trying to comprehend how to tell left from right and how to tie my shoelaces to realize it. But anyways, the need in me to want to be hurt worse than all those around me has always been obvious. ive always been a bad person for that. actually, i never comprehended death for a while. when i did i didnt think much of it, until i thought of whats after. I was scared of death because of that thought. Maybe i still am, but now i am okay? to die. i want to find out whats after. why i want to die is something i cant understand myself most of the time, this is the basics. Sometimes i wanna live. I actually hate that i idealize about suicide, id rather just live. i know i have no future though, so ive given up on mostly everything. Its obvious in my academic decline. i wouldve been a smart girl if it werent for all of this, i mourn that i guess. i like my friends, i love them. and i want to live to have more happy and silly moments with them. The happiness i get from them never overpowers the other stuff, i wish they could. Im sad i dont want to live. id really like to live sometimes. its actually frustrating why cant my emo ass just want to LIVE??? i really wish i hadnt stopped being friends with him, but i know what he said wasnt right. im certain he wouldve made fun of me for this

[soupdeewoop]

Favorite lines from “The Secret of Us” 🌸

crossed lines, past lives, clear vision

held my breath for your reaction like the first time that we happened

we were fightin’ more than laughin’, black and blue, mm

fell hard then i lost your interest

all my friends they tried to stop me wanting you but i was never meant to listen, not until i found a reason

felt good about you til i didn't you felt nice for a bad decision felt good about you felt good about you

really got me thinkin, future plannin’ for no reason there were nights i skipped out sleepin’ cause of you and i had less than half of somethin’ what you gave was what i wanted til i realized i felt fuller without you

felt good about you til i didn't i felt good about you

look at me now said i wouldn't do it, but i hunted you down

you can just talk, and i'll stare at your mouth it could be bad, but i wanna find out

and i feel like i could die cause you're not here

god, im jumping in the deep end its more fun to swim in heard the risk is drownin’, but i'm gonna take it i'm gonna take it

isn't it fun? thinking im right when i'm probably wrong

you cant even speak but i think that its sweet yeah, i think that you're sweet

with the light on and you're not here

god, i'm actually invested haven't even met him

classic

i'm gonna bend ‘til i break  i wish you could hold me here, shakin’

why aren't you here in my bedroom? hopelessly boring without you

too soon to tell you "i love you" too soon to tell you "i love you"

wish that i was kidding i'm not, and i hate it

you're the risk, i'm gonna take it

i cut the rope and you fell from the tower i let it go for my peace of mind bit the bullet, it didn't hurt but i still hate the image of you kissing her chalk it up to "its all for the better"

are your conversations cool, like are you even interested? i know what you are, brighter than the stars tell me if she takes you far far enough away from all the baggage you've been carrying up another hill to all the girls who'll help you bury it they're just blowing smoke, i'll say what they won’t i know everything they don't

i sleep alone, im completely fine

if she's got a pulse, she meets your standards now? you feel nothing and yet you still let her

but i bet you're at her place right now you couldn't point her out in any crowd

and i find your books pretentious now at the time they'd fed the fantasy i was so impressed at your hotel took a drag and read aloud to me

and i bet you think about me now when you should be sleeping

and i know, i know, i know, i know and i know, i know, i (hey, hey, hey, hey) and i know, i know, i know, i know and i know, i (hey, hey, hey, hey) and i know, i know, i know, i know and i know, i know, i (hey, hey, hey) and i know, i know, i know, i know and i know, i

two augusts ago i told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

i like to slam doors closed trust me, i know its always about me

two summers from now well have been talking, but not all that often, were cool now i'll be on a boat, you're on a plane going somewhere sane

and i'll have a drink wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake it might not feel real, but it's okay, mh

cause that's just the way life goes i push my luck, it shows thankful you don't send someone to kill me

you were the best but you were the worst as sick as it sounds, i loved you first i was a dick, it is what it is a habit to kick, the age-old curse i tend to laugh whenever im sad stare at the crash, it actually works making amends, this shit never ends im wrong again, wrong again

the way life goes joyriding down our road lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me

hope that i don't, won't make it about me  i love you, im sorry

it felt just like a joke im sure you dont know were talkin’

i know your ghost i see her through the smoke

and if history’s clear, someone always ends up in ruins and what seemed like fate becomes "what the hell was i doin'?"

babylon lovers hangin’, lifetimes on a vine do you miss mine?

wonder if you regret the secret of us, us

it felt like somethin’ holy like souls pleadin, so it felt like what i've known you're twenty-nine years old so how can you be cold when i open my home?

give it ten months and you'll be past it (you'll be past it)

that night you were talkin’ false prophets and profits they makin’ the margins of poetry sonnets you never read upon it

the curse of a miracle, curse of an oracle youre incomparable, fuck it was chemical you (you) plus (plus) me (me) was

mistaken for strangers, no way in us, us the pain of the rain of the fain of us, us

the outline, well, sometimes do you miss us, us? (us, us, us) the best kind, well, sometimes do you miss us?

no, i know i'm a walking contradiction and it shows

and i've never craved someone's attention as much as yours, thought i should mention that

 i bet all my money that i will lose to you and hand you my life

dont love you yet, but probably will turn me into something tragic just for you, i let it happen

i lack context so i've made up all these lies it's the only thing that helps me sleep at night

and now i'm looking in the mirror you made me vain, i can't believe i have to be heard

here's to hoping you're worth all my time (ah, ah) i might barely know you, but still

you've turned all my skies to pouring rain locked me out the house again is this how you see me now? im reeling and i might break the windows, let myself back in lost it for a minute there get my shit together, its whatever, but i could die knowing that you're probably out somewhere while i'm in my underwear eating through my feelings, i'm still reeling, but its fin oh, thank god that you're not seeing this i'll spare you from everything if you would still have me, i'll be waiting all my life oh-oh

whatever, i let it happen whatever, i let it happen whatever, i let it happen i let it happen

i took a train to boston and i wanted to cry

i'll date for like a summer and i'll leave when i'm bored this train is full of strangers but i might like him more

when i left him there to feel it couldn't guess when i'd be leavin' for

no chance i waste my twenties on random men not one of them is cooler than all my friends

i feel like i'm home, there's a bar down the road i'm wasted with the sister of a boy that i met through someone back in college, she's a weird intellect she liked to tell the truth and she was harsh but direct her boyfriends all left, she had that effect

but that's just tough love and you're lucky to receive it, right?

i guess it's always funny until it's not

no, i'm not gonna miss the way he'd kick me in my bed while sleepin'

and i'm not gonna miss his old inflated ego, shallow thinking and i'm not gonna miss denying that i got my own damn reasons

not one of them is tougher than all my friends and i hate to leave him bleedin' but i know, know what i'm leavin' for

i swear to god, i haven't thought of you in ages

i understand, i changed your plans, i had to, baby

and i think that you earnestly have waited on apologies but i can't pretend that i'm sorry when i'm not sorry

so aren't you sad about the fact that you can't write me? i cheered the loudest for you when you won your trophies

and don't you feel alone at night or sorta kinda daily?

and we don't even know each other now and i'd blow all my plans if you'd meet me out

we could talk, we could get it, we could both calm down down (down, down)

it all changed for me and i told you (down) (down, down) you had the wrong idea about me (down) (down, down) and all i ever did was consider you (down) (down, down) until all i could do was consider me (down)

you don't know how to step outside yourself

you really thought you would get what you wanted (down) down, (down) down (down) down, (down) down 

you were the shoreline you were the crash and now i break

gave you i, gave you i, gave you i, gave you i

am i what you wanted? was i self-appointed?

all of my dark blue covered it for you but i'm just so embarrassed now

and you did all that i wouldn't do, erasing lines around us i held my head, i used to hold you, but now i'll walk around us and i can't lie and claim confused when i know just what happened you got bored, and i felt used, now i'm all sad about it

would it have killed you to explain that you weren't ready?

and, still, i gave you i, gave you i gave you i

my honest commitment i sat and listened i was your floorboard, holding it down

and could you not deny the truth? 'cause i know just what happened you got bored, and i felt used, now i'm all sad about it

when did you slip through my fingers, did i ever have you? was i just a placeholder to fill the hole inside you?

i held my head, i used to hold you but now i'll walk around us

and i won't lie and claim confused when i know just what happened

oh, you got bored, and i felt used, now i'm so sad about it

it's a normal thing to fall in love with movie stars when the lights are low and red at all their favorite bars

and the plotline was rare, swear i felt you right there maybe that was the beginning of our love affair

 did my pacing and reeling i even think it looked cute at times i know there's more than that feeling i didn't know it for most my life

you were great, what a show, but i don't recommend getting close, that's how it goes but i'll see you again

couldn't you go quiet? no one noticed, i did but i notice everything, so you're not different

i practice speeches in private i was impressed with my every line i think we call that performing that's not how i want to spend my life

getting close, should have known but i'll see you again

and you changed my life, but i guess i'll see ya 'cause it's over now, so i guess i'll see ya

he made you live out that nightmare and you nearly lost it you made a joke and you watched it go over his head

good luck, charlie i hope you're happy this isn't what you wanted you know that it's her or nothin'

you can go home at night and you might really not need her but you feel her everywhere, she is the love of your life

now it all comes down to you

good luck, charlie i hope you're happy

you openly admit you're far away from healing and i hate to pull the plug but i think i get your deal

you're the saddest, but a good kid almost loved you, but i didn't i could laugh now, how we tried to play those parts

and it's half of you that hurts sometimes, the half that i don't get i swear that i'm not mad at you, but i can't share your bed now

that you blew up on a tuesday how does pain taste when it melts into your tongue?

it's a pain that i caught you at a bad time it's a shame that i memorized your outline you were straight up with me, you were so kind but i knew what you knew, honey, great minds it was harsh 'cause i lost what i wanted i was brave when i kissed you in london we're collateral here, man, we got hit hope you find somewhere safe for your baggage every page that i wrote, you were on it feel you deep in my bones, you're the current and i showed no restraint, it was something i was scared until you made me love it

chances are i'll be here, we could share a lifeline if you feel like fallin', catch me on the way down

never been less empty, all i feel is free now

smoky, dark, crowded room, i need nothing under pink light in june (ah-ah-ah)

i burn for you and you don't even know my name if you asked me to i'd give up everything

break my heart and start a fire, you got me overnight

(just let me be) oh, close to you, close to you, close to you

you pull me in and touch my neck, and now i'm dying

you should be mine for life, i'll be signing every dotted line (ah-ah-ah)

chemical override, ultraviolet you could be mine tonight

pull the trigger on the gun i gave you when we met i wanna be close to you

just let me be close to you, close to you, close to you

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM STEP BROTHERS *  assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

this house is a fucking prison!

we're in the bathroom!

i don't believe in belts.

it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.

i'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

this wedding is horse shit.

you guys have an outstanding track record.

i was faking. i used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

i smoked pot with johnny hopkins.

you're not gonna come down and say hi to me?

i thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.

i want you out of my fucking house!

i just want you to know i hate you.

oh stop it!

i dont have to swear to shit!

you must feel just terrible.

i owe you an apology.

you gotta keep an eye on it.

you take that back.

we do it because we love you.

hey, can i ask you something?

this is my house now.

what do we do now?

you're failures!

i wasn't fired from my job. i was laid off.

whoa, calm down, man. i'm just joking.

you know what? i still hate you.

you were dead. i saw you die.

sweet jesus! i love korean food!

maybe someday we could become friends.

do you wanna do karate in the garage?

we could hug.

i didn't want the salmon! i said four times!

it sounds a lot like the plot of good will hunting.

how old were you when they got divorced?

why are you so sweaty?

this is what i live with!

this is just like cold case files!

get out of my face, or i'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

was that a fart?

in no way, shape, or form do i feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

what if i were to tell you i could sell this house for 30% above market?

oh, i'm exhausted.

well that's fine.

i always wanted to be a dinosaur.

i can taste it on my tongue.

we're here to fuck shit up!

on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur.

i swear, i'm so pissed off at my mom.

i remember my first beer.

we can bicker about this all night, but what's done is done.

i would follow you into the mists of avalon.

shut the fuck up!

you're alive! oh my god!

my little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

i'm just saying, you need to think about your options.

i'm not gonna call him dad.

did you touch my drum set?

he had the craziest look in his eyes.

you have the voice of an angel.

believe me, i've told him that.

hey, you're embarrassing yourself!

do you want to talk about some of those feelings?

we like to shit with the door open.

guess what? i hate you too.

now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

you better not go to sleep, 'cause as soon as your eyes shut, i'm gonna punch you square in the face.

stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.

hey, you awake?

are you fucking crazy, man?

you're not feeling this?

i tea-bagged your drumset.

i know you two are technically married.

i'm not going to! ever!

my best friend is ben affleck.

look, i didn't touch your drum set.

okay, i'll be honest with you. i did fart.

you know what's good for shoulder pain?

we're putting the house on the market.

don't even think about it.

what's your problem?

i would've done the exact same thing.

did we just become best friends?

i feel like i'm smarter than most of the people who go there.

you and your mom are hillbillies.

it stinks. and this is a small room.

obviously... you don't know me.

my penis is tingling right now.

we make our own beef jerky.

you better not get in my face.

where are we moving?

ready? one, two, three.

i think it's time for a change. for both of us.

your voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus.

i know that we started out as foe.

i've seen him do it.

this house sucks ass.

the clown has no penis.

we are living the dream.

i'm just thinking about our life together.

what kind of dreams are you having?

shut up!

it was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him.

i hope you stay still when you sleep, 'cause i'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

why do you have randy jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?

you leave me money for pizza?

well what about us?

we literally have never done any of those things.

what's this all about?

shut your mouth!

what the fuck happened?

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

i wanna add more will wood's songs for julian because ig this is his kin artist now (i am SO NORMAL abt these songs and how it ties to julian's character)

cw for alcoholism, death, suicide

there will be mentions of his reversed ending too

Um, it's Kind of a Lot

"Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death. the other half, I guess I'm giving to you"

"And I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws. I'm afraid you already have, obviously"

"And I'm afraid I'll come on too strong, hold you too tight, and scare you too"

the last one is so julian i cant even

"But I never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve"

"At least to prove I'm weak, and if you cut me, I'll bleed"

i mean come on, look at that, its so perfectly julian i dont even have to explain

"I'll twist my words, a clever turn of phrase"

"Sorry, darling, please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize. Coddling my narcissism"

we do not talk enough abt how julian also has that kind of like bravado but just not as bad as lucio's lmaoo

"So here's one last lyric to sum up these thoughts I struggled to come up with"

"To make me sound deep and smart, and then I promise I'll shut up"

"Wait, let me think, hold on, I got this"

"Anything but 'I'm in love with you'"

the third lyric is just the cherry on top, the unsure of it all and just kinda fumbling over your own words, its so julian

2012

"I was an existential criminal, so innocently cynical"

hes a fugitive!!

"Originally meant to live a God-damned miracle"

"Might've been metaphysical, but I think it was medical"

i think this could refer how he was literally dying from the plague and met the hanged man, so he was very close to dying or i think he did die and he came back with his mark (? idk tbh). well hes not dead now so it was a miracle but yk, julian is a skeptic so the line "but i think it was medical" fits him sooo much. hes a doctor! i'll take any medical related words and refs and align it with julian, ty.

"Testing my hypothesis"

"Never finding a theory"

i take back my last sentence. i'll take any science related words and refs and align it with julian, ty

"Did you lose yourself? It's always in the last place that you'd check"

julian talking to mc

"I might find myself by retracing my steps..."

"But I don't remember how I forgot myself"

"I don't remember, I don't remember 2012"

"Wow, the whole year's a blur!"

yea just change that to three years

"I think I bought into the comedy and brought a lot of oddity"

"An odyssey I thought to be consider a commodity"

"And not until anomaly abolished my monotony"

"Did I applaud autonomy and modify a lot of me"

i cant even break this one down tbh but the julian vibe is definitely there

"I heard the world would turn to hell"

"Compared to that, I'm doing well"

birblian cameo??!?! no but srsly i could see birblian going insane and gaslighting himself

The First Step

this is just an alcoholic song tbh...

"You could say I'm plastered, 'cause I hit the wall"

this is just a funny line tbh, not that deep, just julian hitting the wall like a cartoon

"I’d try to see the glass as half full"

"But I’d probably just a-drink that too!"

thats the alcoholic line. yk julian's a pessimistic, trying to see the glass half full instead of half empty but he'd probably drink that too

"Well I bet that a bottle of brandy so bitter’d be better than bitin’ the bullet and betterin’ myself"

"Sorry if I slur!"

if you listen to the song, will wood was actually slurring that first line. i have a hc that julian has two opposite talking mannerism. first one that he stutters (that part is canon) a lot and repeats his word. you get that or he slurs and talks so fast, theres no in between

"I’d try to see the glass as half full"

"Even when I'm empty, half-full"

"I’d try to see the glass as half full"

"But I’d probably just- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

this is just a bonus. i just want to include it

Half-Decade Hangover

this song RUINED me actually so heres some angst (i avoid this song even tho i love it sm its such a banger but i cry everytime i listen to it. i really recommend listening to the song just so u can hear just the raw emotions. i also recommend going to the genius lyric page bc will wood himself actually annotate some of the lyrics im im im sorry im fanboying rn)

"Wonder how I didn’t die"

"This is not my life, I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive"

ooooof... again, with the dying theme, my god

"I was drunk when I made my bed"

"Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it"

"What have I done? Don't know what I've said"

ooooww yikes, that last line is kinda like a double whammy. julian not remembering his last 3 years bc of that amnesia OR in the reversed ending, "what have i done" but in a regretful way its so sad too bc after he made that deal with the devil all he did was drink himself to - well not death but yk.

"Give back my life, and if not"

"Take it, 'cause lately I been thinking maybe I could take it or leave it"

"If I can’t at least break even, then I’m leaving when"

"I been feelin' this awful since I hit bottom and"

"Said, 'Hand me my shovel, I’m going in!'"

that two first line is julian confronting to the devil. "take it (my life)" that line hits me like a train bc it has been hinted that julian have quite the suicidal tendencies and that was BEFORE shit went down. imagine how worse it got after the whole deal with the devil and him being cursed. he fought the devil so many times... it makes me wonder if he also did it, hoping he would die in the process. also the last line is a reference to one of will wood's song "Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!" which a few ppl also recommend it for julian.

"Like it’s a good thing you said, 'You’ve got your whole life ahead'"

"Oh great, another half a century to live to regret"

"I’d rather be anybody else instead"

pretty forward with this one, this is depressing im sorry

"Please believe me when I say that I’ve poured my whole past down the drain"

thats pretty literally. he exchanged his memories of those three years for the healing mark

"Say that a second chance is a chance I can take"

"But I can’t make amends for things I can't remember"

"I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray"

he got a second chance to live, he no longer has the plague. also that second line, i mean julian traded the memories he didnt want so mustve thought he did something bad but now he cant really make amends bc he doesn't remember (not yet at least)

okay thats all, im sorry this was such a rollercoaster

@dandydanthelion :O the way you just broke down all those lyrics and fit them into his character, that was incredible and made so much sense!

It's not even a question at this point if they belong on the playlist (just added them) XD

Thank you for sending these friend! I always love to see your name pop up in my inbox ^.^

[arttrampbelle]

Gonna post MY OFFICIAL SHANG TSUNG BIO. because nrs is wrong and i said so. So suck it boon,suck it fans,this is how shang tsung is supposed to be. Die mad. 💅🏻💋☕💖

Anywho enough of venting. Here's his bio.

❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤

Name: Shang Tsung

Full name: Tsung Shang (i hc his last name is tsung because it sounds better and most of mk names are both given and surnames. I looked this shit up and listen,this game was made by two American nerdy guys. What are you really expecting? A masterpiece? No)

Age: physically: in his 40s. (If we go by cary hiroyuki tagawa's performance in the 95 movie. He was around 40 when he starred in that film. Ik,he dont look it but it's true. And it makes way more sense than how some people and canon depicts his youthful rejuvenated form.) Technically he is over 500yrs (and i collectively ignore any new retcons or canon saying otherwise). He is mortal in technicality. But he is immortal by proxy. Due to his curse of to wither and age less he takes the souls and vitality of others. (Like an energy vampire in a weird way. Guy is basically Chinese Dracula)

Gender/prns: amab, he/they. (He is masc but people are so damn xenophobic and amercian centric on what masc is. But ya know we aint here for that politics. I hc he uses they or gn prns on occasion. If it calls for it. But most of the time is masc coded prns because he's 1. Lazy. 2. It's just a force of habit. And 3. It feels more comfortable for him. Otherwise he's gonna use gn. As he defults everyone to. Because thats how he works,as for himself. Well he just doesn't really give a damn much. He is who he is. Period)

Height: 5'11" (tho in his old man form. I hc he shrinks a bit to a 5'6"/5'7" lol)

Weight: approx maybe 175? I dunno im not good with measurements. So plz dont hate :')

Hair: black,long,and up to his lower back/buttocks. (In his old man form the same but white/silver. Still thick and luxurious. Despite being an old man he takes good care of himself. I can't ever see shang ever living in squander or despair. Even when shit is rough for him. He ooozes confidence even when he struggles. He's mastered self mastery. (God i wish that were me) )

Eye color: dark brown. (Goldens,glosses and turns to a pale gold as his curse affects his aging.)

Origins: Earthrealm (EARTHREALM. NOT OUTWORLD YOU DUMBA$$ES. fucking nrs othering shang tsung and getting rid of what made his betrayal interesting. Fucking morons buy into it too. But whatever.)

Resident realm: earthrealm,on his island. (Which i have hcs about but that is for a separate post because it would be too long to add here.)

Species: Human

Alignment: Neutral. Maybe a bit chaotic. The yin axis. (All in all he's for bis own morality. Never anyone else's)

Weapons: chinese saber or straight sword.

Abilities/powers/etc: Soul magic,fire magic,the dark arts. (He's a mofo sorcerer bih! I have hcs more about soul magic and how his damn magic works. Because people dont really care to write this)

Allies: anyone who he deems trustworthy enough.

Nemesis: any who dares cross him. Liu kang. (He fucking hates liu kang. No it's not secretly likes him. NO HE FUCKING HATES THIS GUYS GUTS AND WANTS HIM DEAD FOR THE SHEET FUCKING PLEASURE OF IT! SHANG,HE'S A PETTY LIL SHIT. OK?!)

Current whereabouts: on his island. Doing who knows what. Mostly tending Mortal kombat tournaments. And any who wishes to learn under him. As he is a master after all.

🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉

Blank below cut (in case you wanna use it for ocs):

Name:

Real name:

Age:

Gender/prns:

Height:

Weight:

Hair:

Eye color:

Origins:

Resident realm:

Species:

Alignment:

Weapons:

Abilities/powers/etc:

Allies:

Nemesis:

Current whereabouts:

Dominion: (used for god characters only. Titans dont exist and i completely erase them from narrative. So dont even fucking add this. Dont even try. It's either gods ocs,immortal ocs(i.e. like bo-rai cho) or mortals (like kung lao,etc). Pick one)

[prophetofnothing]

Hey. hi. do you wanna hear my teen wolf homestuck classpects. of course you do.

thank you for listening. theres more characters i want to do but i still havent been able to settle on anything yet. reasoning below the cut

scott: maid of blood. very blood player. his whole life revolves around his relationships, his love life, his friendships, his pack, his mother and father. hes also all about being a true alpha and a natural leader. these are all blood player traits. maids are generally quite passive, starting out with an absence of their aspect and relying on others for it. sounds like scott! he relies on the people in his life to keep him anchored, relies on derek to teach him how to use his abilities, relies on stiles' friendship and is generally quite passive in his role as a protagonist. eventually maids get so much of their aspect they dont know what to do with it. this happens to scott as he comes into his own as an alpha and has to navigate being the leader of his pack.

jackson: thief of life. thief theif thief. his jealousy, his competitiveness. this guy can be a hundred miles away and you can still see hes a theif. thieves horde their aspect, they want to be the best at their aspect, and if anyone else tries to be better than them they will shit and puke themselves to death. i make him a theif of life because he killed people as the kanima (stealing their lives) so i think it is fitting in that sense. but life also represents affluence, healing, growth. jackson is always trying to flex his wealth and his talent and his academic prowess. he wants to prove he has a better life than anyone else. i think its also fitting with his character arc, because he had to heal the emotional baggage that prevented him from becoming an actual werewolf.

lydia: seer of doom, because she can see when people are going to die. that much is obvious. i debated on making her a mage because she suffers a lot from her aspect but the knowledge mage's gain through their suffering is more for their benefit, while seer's knowledge is for the benefit of others. shes also a seer because she gravitates a lot to knowledge, even outside of her banshee abilities. shes a smart girl! she loves insight! she knows a lot, and she shares that with other people. this is also why i debate on making her a light player, since light is also about attention ('spotlight' and 'bringing light to something'), knowledge and intelligence. but i think the doom aspect has way more influence on her character, since goddamn does this shit plague her. doom players are like that. their life is defined a lot by sucking real bad. and her moments of intelligence can generally be attributed to her seer-iness. so seer of doom is my final assessment, as she acts both like a seer and a doom player, and it takes into account the banshee part of her character more. mage of light secondary maybe? or maybe seer of light primary, and mage of doom secondary. could go either way.

derek: heir of rage. okay so. i dont know that much about how heirs themselves act, but their thing generally is being surrounded by their aspect. and rage represents.... any negative emotions. anger. grief. hate. suffering. as well as ugly truths. well, its safe to say derek is surrounded by that. one could say his entire life is dictated by rage. this is a little bit biased but i think heirs can be a little woe is me. because its not usually their fault that their aspect surrounds them all the damn time, that shit just gravitates to them. and like derek. yeah. he gets to have all the rage in the world, what with his whole family burning to death, and having to kill his first love, and the banshee pussy gone wrong event etcetera. and if you take it literally i also think he straight up is a rageful guy. he totally has a reason for it but yeah boy hes fucking mad and brooding and shit all the time and thats absolutely a side effect of being a rage player.

stiles: mage of heart. this one was so hard and i couldnt tell you why. i tried overthinking it a lot but in the end i just went with my gut instinct. and that tells me stiles is a heart player. hes just so full of heart! hes a funny, silly guy, with a lot of feelings bursting out of that head of his. he contrasts mind a lot with his impulsiveness and instinct and biases. hes rarely objective, hes really in his head, and he never misses an opportunity to voice his feelings. heart all the way. the other shoe of this is that hes a mage. now, if you look at this before void stiles, mage is still sort of fitting because we know that his impulsiveness as part of his adhd is making him fail in school, thereby making him suffer through heart. but heart is also about identity. and if you look at his season 3b arc... yeah. its all about losing himself to the nogitsune. literally not knowing whether hes his true self or not. and for a heart player that loss of identity, that struggle to find yourself, is suffering through heart. mage is also a knowledge class, which i think accounts for stiles detective work and penchant for sticking his nose into things.

allison: page of mind. shes a page. shes a fucking page. before i started writing this i was trying so hard to fit her in the knight box. allison dont be a page. dont be a page. youre too badass to be a page. but i cant deny it. fuck. i cant deny it. she just absolutely is one. okay. mind first. mindheart dichotomy is about being driven by logic vs being driven by emotions, among other things. and thats something thats had a really big hand in shaping allison's life. she doesnt want to be emotional, she wants to be objective. but at first she just isnt. good at that. its what shes trying to convince people she is. she pretends she isnt scared but she is, and there are cracks where her emotions show through, where you can see that she is just as weak and lost as she feels. but as the show progresses she begins to excel at mind. she uses her steady arrowhand, her level-headedness to help her friends. and thats what pages do. theyre about potential. they put on a front at first to convince people theyre good at their aspect when they really arent, but as time passes they come into their own and unlock to their full potential.

that is everyone ive done so far. if i do anyone else ill make a seperate post for it because this is already too long.

[josephsaturn]

Just finished Attack of the Clones!

can’t skip the text crawl!

Wow they really did upgrade the CGI

what’s with all the fog tho

WHOA SHIT

wait Padme’s still got her Girlies(TM)? And they’ve all got a name that ends with é?

Was that Jango w the eyepatch???

Padme once again being the baddest bitch in the room

God Palpatine really does act slimy

WOOO HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN AND EWAN MACGREGOR WOOO

I’m gonna kill whoever thought that anakin’s haircut was acceptable

UUUUUUHUHHHHGGGGHHHH cringe

Captain typho huh?

Man obi wan looks great honestly

Jar jar doesn’t make me want to destroy my eyes

Oh she DEFINITELY recognizes you anakin

Zam?? Whomst???

Ope there’s Jango

More under the cut:

Dreamin bout ya mom???

Oh god centipedes???

OBI WAN??????? HELLO????

I see now why greater fandom always portrays him as insane cuz THAT is insane

Terrifying!

Yea production value deffo went up

A N A K I N

OH SHIT

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” Huh.

Obi wan gonna get HAMMERED

DAMN. DAMN.

Honestly I wasn’t expecting the temple to look like that

Oh noooooo

Yoda my man my guy then why don’t you FCKUING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Why does Padme sound younger here than when she was literally like 14

Come to think of it how was she in GOVERNMENT OFFICE at 14

Ohh boyyy we gettin’ prideful Anakin now

Padme looks like a girl I knew in middle school

Jeez he’s down BAD bad

Dormé. Just..Dormé. Padmé. This MUST be an inside joke.

Kenobi: anakin’s crazy

Typho: yea nah padme’s crazier

Oooh dex?

Ok I’m starting to get it now

Damn mean old lady

A N A KIN

I’M dYINGGGGG

aw cute kids

Dang that’s one smart kid

Also, this is like a day after?? Bruv u better FIND that man

Yea girl u were like 14

Every fucking line of dialogue out of anakin’s mouth is either bad flirting or just bad in general like DUDE HOW

new Queen is slaying as well

MILADY

yea get his ass girl

Ok so how far is Kamino exactly??? Cuz 12 parsecs is a lot (at least I think it is, from how they explained it) yet the cut makes it look like obi wan only spent like an hour to get there

Kaminoans got nice voices

The Kaminoans: talking about the army n shit

Kenobi: ???!!!????!?!?!

S-eye-fo dee-as? I thought it’d be see-foe die-as

Kenobi’s like 3 seconds away from freaking out lmao

Man Naboo looks so aesthetically pleasing; I’d love to live there

Oh god. SAND.

Anakin pls mans just quit while you’re ahead

THAT WAS WHAT GOT HER???? A FUCKING LINE ABOUT S A N D ????

Yea that’s not fUCKING scary

Naughty children get put in the tube merry-go-round

Man.

man it’s so interesting how none of the clones are talking in these scenes

They’re just silently going along

“We keep him here.” Huh???

Obi wan: What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Man boba’s got that resting bitch face

Why does he look like he wants to kill Obi wan in every frame he’s visible

Oh shit Jango doesn’t know sifo dyas?

Hmmm

Damn that was charged

Ok Anakin is talking like a human being now. Great

Man they wanna fuck so bad

ABAKIN YOU WERE DOING SO WELL NOOOO

Agony?

Padme just fucking leave Like girl it isn’t worth it please just get out of there girl BLEASE

she’s like “damn he wants me that bad 👅👅💦💦”

I’m gonna kill Anakin

Yea girl woooo set those boundaries

God she really is always slaying

Ok back to Kamino cool

“Oh-bee wahn”

If Kamino is known as the cloner planet, who else did they clone??

Yeah y’all really are blind

Oh nooo shmiii

Stanced up

Wait did they sleep in the same room??

Were they fucking?

ANAKIN DONT FCKUING MAKE THIS WEIRD

Well at least padme’s supportive??

Damn Jango taught boba well

Ok I can’t take this seriously cuz of the lightsaber

Damn some Kaminoans are prob watching this fight from the windows like 👁️👄👁️

Tatooine!

[speaking huttese]?

So Shmi went to the Lars family huh. That’s one way to do it

Ok the time lag makes sense

Oh no not the bass boost grenades

Oh joy

Ok back to tatooine we go

Hey! An obviously cgi generated house in the desert!

Damn cliegg looks like shit

Oh god she was kidnapped?!

Oh so he lost his leg that’s why

A MONTH?!

Oh ok so it’s not generated

Hey playing with shadows!

And a callback to ep 4!

Duel of the fates again?

Oooh pretty place!

Wuh-oh

CHRISTOPHER LEE!!!

Why DID Jango go to geonosis?

Oh god I’m getting Spy Kids vibes again…

Obi wan looking back at the camera like “y’all seein this shit?”

OH GOD

I’m actually starting to cry rn

So terrible even the Jedi on coruscant can feel it?

But something HAS happened to him

I wonder what would’ve happened if Anakin went back to save Shmi at the beginning?

Uh oh.

“tHe ChOsEn oNe.”

Ok props to Christensen for this scene. Genuinely.

Damn Padme THIS is when you start to think about it?

But I get it, he’s obviously in distress so she’s comforting him like a normal person

Ok THIS is the start to his fall. He’s so attatched that he doesn’t know when to let go

AW SHIT ANAKIN’S WEARING BLACK NOW SHIT SHIT SHIT

but he won’t

Padme girl you are NOT helping

Girl Mace LITERALLY said to stay there what are you on

Wait it’s JARJAR that gets the army???

Captured in stasis

Is dooku just humoring kenobi?

Ok but would Qui gon have become a sepratist?

I mean it’s kinda obvious who sidious is

Dooku’s in cahoots with sidious right

Oh shit Jarjar IS the guy

IT WORKED??????HUH????????????????????????????????????

Grand army of the republic? More like (G)ekid(A)n inu cu(R)ry

(I’ve been rewatching Madoka again too)

How come no one’s made a fic of Yoda going to Kamino?

Damn r2’s got no chill

He’s destroyed his lightsaber before?

Girl.

She’s been enduring his horrible lines and pushiness for the entire movie

GIRL HE’S NOT IN THE RIGHT MENTAL STATE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WOOO PUBLIC EXECUTIONS WOOO

and here’s approximately 70% of the budget!!

Oh shit it’s mace!

Damn Jango had no reason for that twirl tho

WHOA SHIT

That shadow of the heaaad

And boba NOOO

that stare between dooku & windu…is that like a “aw fuck” stare or a “watch ur back” stare

Ok I gotta ask: what’s the point of killing Jango? I get that it gets him outta the picture and gives boba a reason to be the hardass he is in OT, but like putting all that aside, what’s the point IN PREQUELS? Mace coulda just captured him

Are the guild guys gonna die

HEYO!

Ultimate weapon?

Oh shit

Hey an episode 1 callback!

THE ARM

shit is that dathomir?

M’wow

Pffft not Vader’s theme

marriage huh

And that’s it for now! I’ll be back after I’m done with clone wars season 1!

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

i made a poll about taylor swift. it slightly made my notes a living hell for a week. heres some info i gathered from it cos i figure some people might find it interesting!

(gonna put a keep reading thing cos this might get long!)

- the post got 36k votes and 7.5k notes and really made it round every possible opinion on taylor swift there could be

- it was a lot more negative than i was expecting. i accidentally found my way onto swiftie instagram a few months ago and now my instagram algorithm thinks thats all i wanna watch so i think maybe my perception of how many people are actually are a fan of her is a bit skewed?

- that being said, in general, people were actually very reasonable and had very nuanced opinions in the notes, which was a little surprising

- however, the people who really really dont like her have absolutely zero chill

- tumblr swifties are a lot better than instagram swifties

- i should have made some options on the poll which included being completely neutral/having no opinions on her as a person, thats my bad

- a lot of people think shes hot, regardless of their opinions on her or her music

- the main reasons, roughly in order, for people disliking her are:

1. her fans

2. the private jet thing

3. the matty healy thing

4. her having a white woman victim complex

5. her being a nepo baby (something i wasnt aware of before this poll)

6. her music being overplayed at peoples places of work (which is so valid, i cant listen to cardigan without wanting to die for this very reason!)

(there were other reasons people disliked her but these are main ones)

- a lot of people who said they didnt like her music did have one or two songs that they said were the exception. these are all the ones i saw specified:

- love story

- you belong with me

- innocent

- blank space

- look what you made me do

- bad blood

- the best day

- safe and sound

- no body no crime

- style

- anti-hero

- we are never ever getting back together

- tolerate it

- seven

- you're on your own kid

- long live

- never grow up

- also quite a lot of people said they disliked her music with the exception of one album. the albums i most saw specified for this were 1989, fearless and speak now.

- a lot of people, regardless of their overall opinion on her/her music dislike midnights

- a lot of people said they only liked her music up until red. alternatively, quite a lot people said they have only liked her music released since red.

- i learnt about gaylors (and kaylors) through this poll. i didnt really know that was a thing. it confuses me. (shoutout to the anon i got about it, i dont agree with you and dont really get it, but you were also one of the nicest people towards me on this poll so i very much appreciate that, thank you!)

- on that topic, everyone, regardless of their opinions on taylor, seems to be annoyed by gaylors. (except the gaylors themselves).

- i got frequently (and sometimes quite aggressively) accused of being a swiftie on this poll due to the range of options on it. im not actually a swiftie, im just bad at making polls! i have very complicated opinions on her that frequently change, which is the main reason i made the poll, i wont go into detail on my thoughts on her here (nor did i on the actual poll) but im happy to explain my thoughts fully if someone asks!

- finally, here are some tags that made me laugh!

and this tag, which might be the most baffing thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts:

theres probably more absolute gems hidden in the notes, but this poll got a lot of tags and replies and there was no way i could read everything!

thanks for reading and please dont take any of this too seriously, i made the poll due to my own curiosity and this post is just for anyone else interested!

[randomscropio]

Vent because I need to get this out so that someone knows

Warning: vent, body insecureity (kinda), hating oneself, not getting help, feeling guilty over small things

If someone were to ask me if I'm fine I'd say, "I'm fine" even though I'm not.

I'm not fine.

At all.

I constantly worry if people actually like me and I worry that they won't be there when I need them most. I constantly fear that no one likes me, sometimes I stay up crying because I don't think anyone likes me and because I hate myself.

I hate how much I worry. I hate how the littlest things can be too much for me. I hate how much I hide and how much energy I put into masking my pain. I hate how I'm self conscious about my weight dispite me being a healthy weight. I hate when I was writing this I cried. I hate how much I procrastinate. I hate how much I deny that I need help.

I hate how I have so much dispite doing absolutely nothing, all I've ever done is existed and I've gotten so much, I have a loving family, friends, a house, clean clothes, food that I like, a good school, art supplies, I have things that some people could only wish to have and I have done nothing but be here and live.

I hate that. I hate how little I like to be touched. I hate how I can't tell anyone I actually know any of this. I hate how I can't stop crying when I start. I hate how I sound. I hate how people at school call me a "furry" whenever I draw dragons. I hate how I can't draw humans or hands properly. I hate how much I hide behind the mask I wear. I hate the fact that I have to mask my feelings. I hate how whenever I speak, no one hears me or listens to me and I feel like it's my fault somehow. I hate that part about me. I hate how I feel guilty over little things like forgetting to unload the dishwasher or feed the family dog. I hate how I still haven't told anyone.

And yet dispite all of this, I know someone out there has it so much worse so I don't reach out for help because I know that someone needs it more than me and I don't want to take that away from them. I hate that about me too.

I don't wanna die but at the same time I hate myself and sometimes I wonder if life would be better for everyone else if I was never born. I hate that too.

I hate how I can't tell anyone I know any of this because I'm scared that they'll do something that will put me in an uncomfortable situation or that they won't even care.

I hate how scarred I am about the future. I hate how lazy I am. I hate how all I do at home is sit in bed, take care of myself and look at my phone all day. I hate how little sleep I get. I hate how little effort it takes me to make something for other people to see and be happy about, but when i try to make something to vent with (like this) it's nearly impossible and takes so much time and effort. I hate how many things I hate about myself.

I have so much but I'm not happy. Why am I not happy? I want to be happy not sad, scared, angry, or lazy. I just want to be happy again. So why can't I be? Why can't I be happy, that's all I want at this point. I hate that part about me too. Why can't I love myself like how I act like I do? Why can't I love myself? Why can't I be happy? Why is it that I have to hate myself but at the same time not want to hurt myself or kill myself? Why am I like this? I always say I'm fine, so why can't I be fine? Why do I need to feel like this? I've felt like this for a while but don't want to get help because, again, I don't feel like I need it as much as someone else and I'm scared that if I do get help I'll automatically put the mask back on and just waste their time. I want help but at the same time I don't... why am I like this? Why can't I accept how I am and love myself for it?

Please dont comment anything mean, this is just me trying to get my feelings out and be heard, even if no one will listen or see this post, I just want to get how I feel out. Thank you for listening