#like i deadass can't understand this thought process

[milfromanroy]

twt saying the love madeleine felt radiating off of louis was for lestat not armand... loustaters try not to make everything about lestat challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[system-of-a-feather]

Is it really final fusion if there are parts that you're still keeping separate and disowning from yourself? These parts deserve to feel like they have a right to exist, that healing is possible for them and that they are not a lost cause. It isn't fair to call yourself final fused when these parts are being excluded from your recovery. Repressing trauma is not healthy and it isn't sustainable to do that forever. It would be healthy if you worked with them, held compassion for them, and helped work through their trauma beliefs with them. Sometimes to heal you need to be disregulated sometimes, because you're letting yourself finally feel the feelings, and they've been kept away for so long, naturally it will cause disfunction for a while.

Bro, you are assuming an awful lot off of an awful little combined with a lot of poor interpretations of that post. I also find it a bit rude and crossing some boundaries for you to be 1) telling me how my vulnerable parts feel 2) telling me that I dont know what >I< feel and 3) telling me how my vulnerable parts - both when they are operating seperate from me and fused with me - should be treated.

If you think you aren't doing that and are not encroaching on territory you don't know about (ie my trauma, my system, my recovery and my healing) then please, tell me the details about my vulnerable trauma holders that you seem to know more about than I do, because man, between being literally them and living 24/7 with them and talking with them for my entire life, I really thought I'd know them better than a random anonymous stranger online. Go figure. You learn new things every day.

Putting aside the honestly disrespectful breach of boundaries under the assumption its well intended, I will continue the rest of this post assuming you asked me about how the post on how we handle our vulnerable parts relate to our fusion rather than assuming and judging because I honestly think the question I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you MEANT is actually a really interesting one! Because it can be totally confusing how our system that does not actively engage and actively interact and actively force our trauma holders to go through trauma processing could POSSIBLY fuse with them.

(Actually I have to comment on a few points of confusion and disclaimer on this before I can fully just move onto the next topic in case there is some really strange miss understanding or reading comprehension issue that might make the interesting part of this response confusing if not addressed)

---

Confusion and Clarity Section:

To remove any potential confusion, I'd first like to state that it is "really" final fusion because they're literally me, I know what they feel, I know what they think and I know what they've been through. I can only write the post about how we used to handle things and how we operate now AND speak for those parts because I AM them like, genuinely and fully. Not even "technically them" I deadass AM them, so please don't assume I can't speak for myself and my own trauma and recovery. I know myself and my needs.

There isn't really a debate whether or not we are "finally fused" or what aspects of our life determine "final fusion" other than, you know *checks notes* the fact we literally operate like 75% or more of the time as a complete solid whole with little to no dissociation and honestly even these days, no disconnect between our identity beyond a general and standard IFS way of navigating complicated feelings.

Clearing up that odd comment on "really final fusion", I'm pretty sure you are referring to this post? And if so, I think you missed the part where we have always stated they are absolutely welcome to engage and hang out and we don't "lock them up" or repress them in any way or form.

---

Final Fusion & Our Sleepy "Dragons" / Trauma Holders

The post in reference discusses some of how a lot of our heaviest trauma holders and parts that have been extremely disconnected and dissociated from life for years actually don't regularly spend a lot of time near the front and our system / whole has STRONG rules against EVER forcing those parts to "recover" or process their trauma or "engage in the real world and life and exist" if they don't want to.

It's a concept our system didn't really understand and used to REGULARLY do the opposite of because of good intent and good will "these parts deserve to live and exist and they deserve to heal and be better and so they need to heal from their trauma or they will be forever suffering and they deserve better" and its something we spent over a year learning from one specific part in our system - a major trauma holder - that it is far far more HARMFUL than helpful and that A LOT of that good intent / good will interest in making parts heal came from a lot of 1) projection of me wanting to be perfectly healed right now and projecting that need for healing onto other parts and 2) very trauma-unresponsive, inconsiderate, and not respecting either the autonomy, individuality, or ability for those parts to speak for themselves and their own needs.

Trauma informed care, both internally or with other people, is built on a principle of respecting the traumatized individual and ACTIVELY listening to what THEY are saying and what THEY need and what THEY are experiencing. Often trying to push your ideals, your agenda, your recovery schedule and pacing and trying to push an individual to heal faster than they are ready, serves in small amounts of reinforce the idea that the traumatized individual can not make their own decisions, they do not know how they feel, they do not know whats best for them, they shouldn't have a say in how they are treated, and that they have to conform to another person's standards and heal correctly.

I would LOVE for those parts to come sit with us and talk with us for hours upon hours about trauma. I would LOVE fro them to cry and throw things and be in crisis. We actually get slightly excited whenever those parts are around and in crisis because it gives us an opportunity to support them, show them some coping skills, and help them learn that life is actually pretty okay. Some of our best and most happiest moments (on both sides) have been in those post-crisis where those parts have, for the first time in their entire life, EVER felt ANY support from ANYTHING or ANYONE and those moments are so warm, healing, and impactful on both the supporting and the supported end.

That being said, while our whole and our supporting parts would LOVE to be able to speed run those moments until those parts are completely comfortable existing immediately, that would require us to ACTIVELY make them suffer, feel pain, and relive their trauma when they otherwise would not have to.

These parts have COMMUNICATED to us, when they were more stable and when they were not, that they >do not< want to regularly be around the front and out because everything as it is is too much for them. They have actively asked us to let them rest and have extended periods of calm and peaceful sleeping when things are good so that they can have a break from chronic suffering.

Yes, if we dragged them out, made them process trauma, made them look it straight on, made them dysregulated, eventually they'll "get over it" and "get used to it", but that is only after EXCESSIVE pain as those parts are EXTREMELY prone to being thrown into deep and intense flashbacks. We COULD quickly desensitize them and get them used to life, but the quick method is honest to god cruel, inconsiderate, trauma-unresponsive, and arguably traumatizing to those parts.

Instead, we listen to what those parts have communicated and meet them where they are at in their recovery. Those parts have told us that they are in *peaceful* sleep when they are not triggered and that sleep / distance actually helps them process the sheer amount of stimuli and information that is required for them to regain some stability.

Of course, sometimes triggers come in our life that forcibly wake them up and they get thrown into flashbacks and thats okay! Not ideal, not fun, and I feel bad for them but its okay! Because while they are suffering deeply, they are also surrounded with SO many parts that are actively and intently here to support them, help them, show them the world, and help them develop an understanding for the present and coping mechanisms that are healthy.

And usually after we have helped calm them down, showed them around life and given them some time to enjoy and appreciate existence, they - in a good mood that is now regulated and calm - actively ask to go back to sleep because they are 1) tired and 2) have a lot of new things to process and anything more would be overloading.

And so we have parts - specifically Lin - who is good at holding the front and keeping them company while they fall back to sleep, much like a parent reading a kid a bed time story. It's a very healing and very helpful and trauma informed way of approaching, supporting method that respects the communication and feelings of the individual parts and minimizes the amount of unnecessary stress, triggering, and flashbacks for those parts.

And thats all when we operate as independent parts - which we mostly do when those parts need support because its easier for us to give them focused support when operating as independent parts than as a fused whole as it can be hard to utelize our coping skills as a fused whole when they're triggered. (Think of it like using IFS framework, but instead of parent part and inner child, they just have actual names)

As a whole, I don't "stop being those parts" or exclude them, I am still them and their traits are integrated into the whole. As a fused whole those parts can actually exist and engage in the world A LOT easier than as individual parts because they themselves don't have to be over active and the predominant part of the brain while the trauma they hold can really just remain sleeping in the back. As a fused whole they aren't "trauma holders that are sleeping" they are Feathers and their trauma that they held remains sleeping.

And as a fused whole, I don't think I have to be chronically experiencing and processing my trauma to be me, to be happy, or to be present. My trauma isn't my identity and I am not any less "existing" by not chronically living in my trauma.

As a fused whole I'm literally just Feathers. I got "brains" because I know where certain thoughts and feelings would have come from as individual parts, but like... I'm Feathers. I'm literally just fucking Feathers XD And I literally am those vulnerable trauma holding parts as well. And thank you for your concern, but as those vulnerable trauma holding parts, we're fine and honestly enjoying our life the way it is man.

If you are really that concerned about us, please check to make sure you aren't projecting your own struggles because if you are, please take care of your trauma holders and give them lots of love, support, patience and understanding and please don't rush them to heal faster than they need to.

(the pink is very much explicitly from an Evaline brain which is one of those heavily traumatized vulnerable parts; I am explicitly calling that part of this out because I am genuinely very fucking proud and surprised any of them actually wanted to voice anything for themselves and I am gonna reinforce that cause its awesome and I love that for them)

[the-stray-liger]

God, today's episode of G-Witch... On one hand, everyone's favorite Tanuki has begun the healing process, and found her resolve once again, but on the other... GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, IT'S ALL GOING TO SHIT.

Guel and Miorine uncover Shaddiq's involvement with Dawn of Fold and the attack on Plant Quetta, (even though it was because that fat fucker Kenanji was INTERROGATING A GODDAMN CHILD) but Miorine tells Guell to not jump the gun and gather actual evidence, so both Kenanji and Guel return to Asticassia to find Sarius Zenelli in order to implicate Shaddiq.

Meanwhile, Prospera fucks over Miorine's negotiations with her usual brand of bullshit, causing a veritable powder keg to ignite as the entire city goes up in flames as the Cathedra forces and the Earthians come to blows... but at the same time, she just destroyed the Space Assembly League and Ochs Earth's hidden bunker stocked with the remaining Pre-Production Type Lfriths, both denying them the means to produce more Gundams like the Ur and Thorn, and to also deliver some measure of vengeance for her friends and family from the Vanadis Institute, who died as a result of the League's machinations, and the betrayal of Ochs Earth who funded the construction of the Lfriths to begin with.

That all aside, I was surprised to see SECELIA of all people not only being spot-on with her assessment of Martin's dilemma, but also telling him to nut up and come clean about his involvement in Nika's detainment to the rest of Earth House. Yeah, she's teasing Martin mercilessly, pushing at all of his buttons, and even coercing him into serving her so she keeps quiet... but once Martin pushes back, she's surprisingly calm and direct with him. Then, as we all see, the rest of Earth House is rather understanding regarding the whole situation, even if there are conflicting opinions once the truth comes out.

I am still recovering from today's episode tbh. Drank a bit last night so I'm not doing super bright so my thoughts aren't that detailed but there's a few things I was obsessed with in this episode

I love Kenanji so much because we get to see his ruthless, violent streak that he hides under that sociable and cheerful facade. Of course what he did is wrong but also he knows shit and thanks to him Guel was able to find out Shaddiq was behind Queta and the terrorist attack at Asticassia.

Which brings me to my actual favorite part of the episode-that scene with Norea losing her marbles and El5n holding her back as she cries for Sophie. It's the first time I've seen El5n show any sort of sympathy for anyone, and it happens to be because Norea is afraid of death but so is he. El5n acts happy go lucky because he knows he's a replaceable tool that will be scraped as soon as he's not useful anymore. That's why Nika wouldn't understand. But he can. Foaming at the mouth etc etc

I am also obsessed with the fact that Secelia, while blackmailing Martin actually managed to direct him to find a real solution and talk things through with the earth kids honestly. Like she did it in the worst possible way but she did it. Task failed successfully. I guess she did have a reason to be behind the counselling booth.

I love how we almost felt something positive for Prospera last episode because this one she was 100% back on her bullshit. Deadass started a carnage and destroyed every chance for peace on earth for her vengeance. I love that about her, I really really like how she is written as a ruthless and calculating person who is willing to let the world burn to get her way

And back to our tanuki. I am so glad she found her way out of her dark hole of depression. And I'm so happy to see how much the earth kids and specially Chuchu care for her and how thankful and appreciative she is of them!!! And now we get to see what Suletta will do now that she is truly free. She understands things for the first time and will make her own decisions now. What will those be? can't wait aaaaa

[cursedsunoo]

Hey, I love your works and was just wondering if you could do an enhypen as your boyfriend when you call them your husband? Totally understand if you can't! Thanks :)

🍥 ENHYPEN’S REACTION TO THEIR S/O CALLING THEM ‘HUSBAND’

♡ warnings — n/a

♡ pronouns — they/them

#HEESEUNG

♡ he’s so shocked yet he’s not complaining — heeseung just has this stupid grin on his face as he tries to process this whole situation (he changes your name on his phone in an instant to something like wifey/hubby)

#JAY

♡ jay would be torn between being like “haha what?” and “holy shit they said that” — he hates to admit it since he’s against cheesy nicknames like that, but his heart speeds up at the thought of marrying you someday

#JAKE

♡ he pouts, idk what else to tell you — it’s a cute pout though! jake pouts out of awe over anything else, but the longer you leave him in his thoughts, the more they’re gonna drift more into the actual wedding territory

#SUNGHOON

♡ low-key scared and high-key down to sign the papers right there — while he does take the name gently, his mind does wander quickly to the thought of you taking his last name, or even him taking yours

#SUNOO

♡ sunoo gets the cutest smile on his face as he asks you to repeat yourself — not only does he want to hear you call him husband a hundred times over again, but he wants to see the way you smile when saying it as well

#JUNGWON

♡ he matches your energy in a heartbeat and plays along with your words, looking at his finger before holding it up to you and asking you where the hell his ring is — jungwon does make a promise to himself that he will put a ring on your finger sooner or later

#NI-KI

♡ he acts as if it’s the worst thing in the world (ni-ki would deadass gag as a joke) but he does get a warm feeling in his chest when you call him it though — be careful with it however, since if you call him it too often he may end up ignoring you in his flustered state

TAGLIST— open

@fiantomartell // @atinyyylove // @wonderwrench // @ddeonubaby // @minspalette // @msxflower // @gimmethatcoffee // @hoonbrry // @squiishymeow // @bubblejunnies // @jakehugger // @blaqpinksthetic // @minhyukmyluv // @enhacolor // @icywhatim // @missmorosis // @norboko // @abdiitcryy // @ddeonuluvs // @genderlessflower // @ilandsghost // @jwisungzen // @rinyx // @chewychubchuu //@heelariously // @clarakyunisageek // @odetoyeonjun

© cursedsunoo — all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost my work without my explicit permission

[nightswithkookmin]

RE JIKOOK IS ESTRANGED

Them

Me

Lol

JUMP CUT ALERT: This is a continuation of an ongoing discussion behind the scenes.

DISCLAIMERS:

Article 19, UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Every person has the right to freedom of opinion and expression which includes the freedom to hold an opinion without interference through any media.

Misinterpretation of my opinion, my words constitute a violation of my human rights. Please do not take my words out of context, share it on another platform in furtherance of your own agenda. If you do hold yourself accountable first. You are the author of your own intentions and interpretations.

I do not intend malice by my words nor do I seek to be disrespectful of any member mentioned in here. I simply enjoy mentally stimulating conversations and thought provoking discussions.

Let the records show.

MATTER OF THE DAY

Thanks to everyone that's shared your thoughts on this matter with me and thanks to that person that brought this matter to my attention.

I haven't looked into it and I don't know how severe this issue is.

I think people have the right to believe in anything they want to believe in. Personally, I don't think Santa is real but clearly others do, doesn't mean I'm sane or that they are crazy.

I don't think discussions of this nature should be about who is right or who is wrong. Everyone's opinion is valid and holds true to their own delusions. Lol.

Frankly, I prefer this kind of ship wars to the slurs and abuses and they are distributing hard core porn now?? What is going on! Chileee.

I have never believed JK and Tae to be anything more than friends. At one point, I wondered if they were even friends at all lol but since they admitted to having had a falling out themselves at one point the topic is now moot.

Tae and JK have- had- have a really special bond. To me anyways. I always saw them as the evil power twins of BTS due their ability to come together to wreck havoc especially on Bang PD's scripts. Lol. I think I have mentioned this a few times now.

I smiled to myself when I heard them call themselves partners in crime. The bond is there no two ways about it- you either appreciate it for what it is or you don't. personally I love their bond. Can't stand their shippers but I love their bond. They keep the drama going for me- love it. Lol

The question has always been whether their bond is as profound as their shippers make it seem. I argue it's not and I will always argue it is not. Lol

I think it's only fair that they also question whether Jikook's bond is as profound as we make it sound. I really can't be mad at that. All is fair in love and war- at the very least we can agree to disagree.

I mean even Jikookers themselves question the extent of JK and JM's bond. Some think they are just very special friends and nothing more. I think I talked about this in my is Jikook real post when I mentioned labels and the degree of love between JK and JM?

We know JK and JM have a unique bond. The question then is how far does that bond go. Is it just platonic, romantic or something in between?

This is the question I was aiming to answer with my is Jikook real post. My objective was to try and dismantle all the nuances that keep us from seeing the 'truth' about Jikook- that they are real. At least the way I see them.

I talked about unrealistic expectations we have of Jikook, false conditionings that often leads us to see Jikook as something more than they are- the amplified Jikook. We get used to highlight reels of Jikook's interactions in edits such that we feel there is something wrong with them when we see them in real time.

I mentioned that Jimin's nurturing nature often also estops people from reading more into his relationship with JK. He is nurturing of everyone, JK ain't special- they argue, just as this person is doing.

I talked about Jimin's Idol persona, the facade of the boy in love with JK- Jimin's role within BTS since debut and how that can equally blind us into thinking Jikook is something more or less than they really are. I have a post dedicated to this topic sitting in my drafts so I will not go into the details of it here. Please look forward to that.

But this person's post touches on another aspect of Jimin's personality that I feel is one of the things that often keeps us from seeing his relationship with JK for what it really is- his inclination for professionalism.

I keep saying this, several times now, that Jimin's Idol persona to me seems well developed, elaborate and very elusive.

I have mentioned a few times how I think during Jikook break ups that they keep it civil and professional for the sake of the team and that you might not even notice the difference especially if you place high value on their skinship.

The skinship would be there, the cordiality and civility would equally be there- except for moments when they are fighting, that gets bloody. Lol. They are best friends at the very least. It is why it's important to reevaluate the metrics we use to determine whether or not they are a couple.

I wish I could dialogue with this person to understand her assessment of Jikook and what she is using to determine whether or not Jikook are a couple and what makes her think Tae and JK are. Know what I mean?

What makes her think Jikook were a couple before 2017? What makes y'all think Jikook are a couple at all? I would like to hear from y'all- but come at me with the skinship bit and I'll block you deadass. Lol

So on this person's post, I think I agree with her assessment of JM's persona but I don't agree with the Jikook have been broken up since 2017. And I think I understand where this is coming from... I think some of us do. Yes they had a few fights that year especially leading up to Jimin's birthday- August was it? but we all know JK more than made up for it with the damn GCFs. Lol. kindly visit the timeline, peruse as many content as you can and form your own opinion on it. This is just mine.

Are Jikook Jikooking all the time? Absolutely not. They are human too. They fight, they make up, they break up they get back together, they have introverted, extroverted moments, they go up, they go down- have bad hair days, it's all part of their dynamics I'm afraid. From my point of view of course.

I feel some people notice these things too and when they sense Jikook aren't in a good place they bow out and Jump ship- I don't blame them. They are shippers not supporters. What Jikook need are supporters not shippers- or maybe both, do you.

Could this person be one such people? DNF shippers? Given up on Jikook before the end of their story? I don't know. May be.

Jikook is not a fantasy that you ship. It's a relationship that you support. You can't escape into them. They are an ongoing love story- chapters close, chapters open, you just have to ride it out till the very end.

I think the challenge of their post for me is whether or not Jikook is a performance. Her post leans into the whole Jikook is fanservice bull especially in light of the recent photoshoot video which some are using as evidence Jikook don't 'click' when the cameras are off- the lies they tell on Beyonce's internet!

I think I have speculated on this and shared my thoughts on this whole Jikook is fanservice bit. I will delve deeper into it in my next post on Jimin's idol persona but as I've already said, Jikook is fanservice is equally a misnomer.

Yes Jikook does fanservice sometimes, but they are not fanservice. Fanservice is the cover for their relationship. It's their glass ceiling- nothing to see here folks just two snakes under glass. Keep it pushing. (Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Lol)

But you do raise a valid question, what is Jikook like when the cameras are not filming?

Is the mood of Jikook in that footage the general mood of Jikook behind cameras as Tuktukkers are claiming? They barely interact, JM doesn't pay much attention to Kook, yadda yadda yadda?

And the part that gives me a complex, that JK only interacts with JM when they are the center of attention. Huh???????????

Sigh.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

The theory you pointed out in support of this assertion isn't mine and I think I made it clear I didn't share the same thoughts on it. I said it was valid nevertheless. Chilee, this is hard. Lol

Yes JK is an introvert, Jimin is an extrovert, JM doesn't live for JK, all that is true and some Jikookers have said that too- so when you ask, if this is who they are when the cameras are off does that mean what they do when the cameras turn on is fanservice-

I-👁👄👁

I don't know the thought process that went into that theory so I can't confidently defend it. I'll ask? Lol.

Personally, I'd like to know whether or not they see the tension in that footage as tension in the first place. Chileee I don't know.

I see it as tension. Not a very serious one though. So we'd have to agree to disagree on that one.

But the part I can argue, the part I agree with is Jikook aren't hyper super duper lovey dovey on each other all the time. They aren't cuddly all the time. They have their moments of quiet- Jimin seems like the more affectionate kind who'd rub all over JK in the comfort of their homes but still...

If you ask me though, I think Jikook are tamer on cameras than they are behind scenes. I always talk about the fear and panic in the members' eyes when they see Jikook gravitating towards each other- it's probably because they know the extent of Jikook's shenanigans. They know how worse it can be because they've seen it all.

And when JK panics sometimes when JM gets closer too you just know dude is scared perhaps because of his Mochi chick's devil may care shamelessly in love policies- Jimin wild. Bless him.

I did say also that Memories 2019 is equally eye opening. These were censored bits. BigHit was holding all of that and giving us crumbs- stingy mfs. Bless.

All that said, again I don't think Jikook are hyper lovey on eachother behind the scenes. Another part I diverge from that view is that this is not exactly off camera. It was just behind the scenes of a photoshoot. Something we've seen a countless times.

This is not BTS's first ever behind scenes photoshoot. It's just a different angle that's all.

They were working. They were at work. This wasn't an alone private space for them so they can't base on this to say Jikook don't interact when the cameras are off.

The cameras were rolling. We saw them interact, JM was interacting with everyone the way he always does on camera all the time except he wasn't interacting with JK the way he does all the time, grainy footage or not- I mean let's call a spade a spade and not a big fat spoon. Lol

As to why he was doing that- let's just say there are many schools of thoughts.

My thought as I've said is JM was freezing JK out. I think with anyone that's recognized and is familiar with Jikook fights, that mood is all too familiar as I mentioned earlier.

If JM was being courteous and not mad at his man then he would have kept it 'professional' and done the 'fanservice' bit with Jk as per usual just as this person is saying since the cameras were still rolling.

Jikook is not fanservice. They are real.

I have refrained from providing a detailed analysis of that '5 minutes' footage for reasons I will explain later when I do share my thoughts on that footage- eventually. Some day.

But my hypothesis remains the same that I think Jikook were fighting or had a minor issue. As to why they were fighting, chileee I don't know. The confirmation bias in me feel it had something to do with JM's birthday but honestly it could have been over anything at all- dumplings, microphones- we all saw that slap on stage, a certain Iphone notification perhaps, did JinMin make a secret VLive without Kook again? Lol

There are plethora of reasons, I can only speculate on a few. And I think we've all seen Jimin when he is not 'Jimining' with the others, JK included. Take his mood with Tae at GDA for example- since this is not a VMin post I won't go into it.

But it seems they squashed whatever beef they were having on stage when JM extended his hands to Tae and they shaked it out.

We've seen him and Suga bicker too- which again, I am not gonna to get into out of respect for their shippers but I can point you to the On comeback VLive early this year when Suga touched JM and JM mouthed Hajima to him- which I think had something to do with what was going on with him and JK at the time but that is besides the point. Every shipper for themselves.

I contrast his 'fights' with Suga and V to show you the difference between Jimin being professional and courteous and Jimin being rah rah. He was sat next to suga, talking and laughing with him but snapped the moment Suga held his back.

He did the same in the Dynamite MV Vlive, smiling and laughing with Suga but the moment JK teased him with the Yoonmin comment his countenance fell.

Jimin is not that good of an actor if you ask me. I have said he is very Kumbaya in nature, often makes compromises for the sake of the team but that don't mean he is a pushover or one to trifle with- he scares me when he is mad. Lmho.

The scene in that footage didn't look to me as that he was being nice and courteous to JK- is that y'all's definition of professional courtesy? Damn.

If they were having a lover's squabble then the 'icy' mood of Jikook we saw in that footage is not the general mood of Jikook when the camera's are turned off.

I have to state again that I don't know much of what goes on behind the cameras and most of the things we see sometimes are equally missing context.

That been said we have seen enough of Jikook 'behind cameras' and they are more intimate than we can imagine. A certain cozy selfie at the back of an abandoned truck comes to mind. Whatever they were doing at the back of the track wasn't intended for the cameras judging from JK's reaction.

We've had glimpses of Jikook when they are not the center of attention enough to have a fair idea of what they are when cameras are off and I don't think it is that mood we saw in that footage.

We saw them at Jingle ball bell, towards the end of 2019. We saw them in their own space doing what they do best- making us feel single as fuck. Bless them.

We've seen them at awards, we've seen JK eating Jimin's ear nom nom to calm him down- like I would have just bought him icecream to calm down his nerves or rubbed his back but whatever JK. He is your man; you know him best. Good for him. Good for both of you. Now come back and feed us.

And the bit about JK only laughing with JM when he noticed he was on the Bangtan Bomb cameras in that footage- now that's nasty below the belts phony ass ass! I felt that one straight in my chest, shit. Lol

Dude was in a doghouse it seemed and I noticed them stealing glances at each other and.... sigh.

I just think JK was looking for an opening to warm his way back into JM's good graces- it's really nothing we haven't seen before.... sigh.

This is 2020 that narrative of JK hates Jimin, JK doesn't like JM needs to stop. It's dead. Pack it up. Chileee, y'all tried it with this one.

Jk is nice to JM only when the cameras are on him? Nice try.

JK is so fake and fraudulent he glared RM down till he stepped away from Jimin- again, in the very same photoshoot footage y'all swear to God is proof Jikook is not real.

Find it. RM stood next to JM. Looks up see's something- or someone. Does his tell- the hand to head thingy he does when JK glares at him over Jimin. He backs away inches from JM.

Cut to JK. Dudes a mood. Jin bumps into him, stares at him but JK wouldn't even look at him and then deadass looks away grumpyly- talk of professionalism. You doing great swidy keep going!

You can hide a relationship, fake it on God but you can never hide the intimacy. Taekook just lack that intimacy, I'm sorry. Even in that 'estranged' moment Jikook's intimacy was still there-

Even in whatever mood JK was in- which again, I believe was just due to their lover's squabble- JK still was claiming his man and exercising his right of authority over him. That's how you know they are not broken up. In my opinion. Chileee. I'm gonna get in trouble. Deep sigh.

Y'all think JK was hovering over Jimin because he was preparing to strike him down like a censored censored censored? Yea, he was preparing to strike alright- All the corners of Jimin's heart. Y'all better stop before I find you. Lol

I said I wasn't going to analyze the footage in this post but damn. This man out here serving us all kinds of brooding assorted jeonlous as his man takes a time out or two to wiggle wiggle wiggle on him Malfroy style and y'all are out here peddling nonsense. Strike one.

He was a mood alright. Did y'all see Tae rubbing his chest, arms and legs, ears did y'all see any body else in there doing that for him? Y'all's falcon cannot hear his falconer give it up and sorry, Jikook can't relate.

As I've posited, JM I feel was mad as hell for whatever reason and wasn't in the space to be that person JK needed him to be- in that moment. Doesn't mean they are like that behind scenes all the time.

And before I get attacked again for causing drama, being toxic etc by Jikookers understand that I am just a delusional person shipping these two in a way that makes sense to me. Write me off as delulu, and go please.

Whatever ambiguity surrounds that moment, to me, Jin and RM's reaction to JK clarifies things a bit. Jikook were boiling hot. JK was still keeping an eye on his man. Lol. Bless them. That's my conclusion. I'm running miles with that. Catch me. Lol

Feel free to come up with your own theory in a way that makes sense to you.

I'm not sure how long that fight lasted but from the rain day incident I'm hoping it wasn't that long. Jikook are fine I believe- I hope. Judging from the way JM drew JK out in his VLive with the whole I miss JK comment? Did that not sound familiar to y'all? And that Mickey mouse thingy- JM ain't slick. Bless him.

JM is the perched akekeke whisperer whispering all kinds of things in JK's ear, feeding JK news of what goes on on social media and what not. Dude don told his man they won a BB on his birthday, told his man Jin wasn't happy he chose his bag over his- definitely told his man Army was missing him- what? I'm going with that too sue me. Lol

Did you or did you not see Jk coming out to do a live log afterwards? And JK seemed less grumpy, in very high spirits? Wedding bells- I'm manifesting it for JK. Manifest with me.

Remember when JM did a log and talked nonsense about JK, and JK did a rebuttal log to respond to JM and address some of the things JM had said about him? Remember that? It's a jikook thing and it's back😌

I have said JM uses social media to connect with Army while JK uses it as an outlet to express himself. Through out his Live he kept talking about how he wasn't prepared to do a live and it shows in the way he kept saying it was awkward, he just kept it business and didn't know what else to share... I wonder who put his paws on him, dragged his ass to turn on the camera because Armys had asked of him- a certain quick tempered chick who dragged his man out on social media to do the whole Chuseok greetings 2020 on Twitter perhaps?

And JK is so whipped he'd do just about all the hoops to appease his man- Jikook AU written by Goldy. High five. No but seriously...

Behind the scenes, JK sneaks into JM's bed at night- Taekook does it too? Please! The look on JM's face when RM spilled that tea is enough said.

There's only two people in BTS that panic and don't want us to know they lay one on God in bed and it's not Tae Kook.

JK: Jimin hyung and I will sleep here

JM: how about we let the others choose first

Everyone shares a room:

Footage:🦄🍲🐯🧀🐺🍟🐓🥛🐑🛏

JIKOOK share a room:

Footage: 🚪👀

Behind the cameras Jikook sneak into each others bed- camera caught them live. You saw JM's face, I can't make this shit up. Lol

Behind the scenes, Jikook do laundry at 1am. *insert JM pervy face meme.

Chileee, y'all making me trip with this one. Deep breaths.

Jikook have their moments. This was one of them. Can they be human? Please. Thank you.

At this point, these folks are not even shippers. They is shoppers shopping a man for their bias. Lol. Just admit y'all want Jeon thick thighs strong butt for your bias and go. Just admit you want some tall glass of Tiger charming face husky voice strong chest for your bunny and go. Lmho

Chilee, when we say Tae and Kook had a falling out we don't mean they freeze eachother out behind cameras. Hell, we don't even mean they fake their bond or interactions. C'mon! Tae and JK admitted they are not lovers and y'all is bitter. That's why y'all is making up this nonsense about Jikook. Speak the truth and shame the devil. Peter would be proud.

When we say Tae Kook is not real, We just mean JM spends JK's birthday with him while every one including Tae is out there cruising for Jesus with friends. We just mean Jikook claim eachother even when they beefing. That ship beefed and didn't even know they was beefing and they are real? Damn.

We just mean Jikook make efforts for each other even when they are having bad days- Had it not been for Jimin they'd still be gnashing on these cold streets. Place some respect on his name, y'all's ungrateful. Lol

Tae and JK don't want each other they both want Jimin- there. I said it.

Thanks for attending my Tedtalk. 👁👄👁

Now where was I? Never mind. I'm just gonna go burn some sage. There's too much negativity going on around. Hakuna matata!

There is nothing wrong with Taekook as a ship. Personally, I'm a multishipper I ship all the ships but I support Kookmin. I don't mind their shippers calling them whatever, but my eyes twitch when people who claim they support Jikook act wishy washy with Jikook. Lol. Like are you going to withdraw your support of Kookmin if JK sits on Tae's lap?👀 Yall make me nervous. How can you think Jikook is real but then look at Taekook and go huh??? What are y'all seeing that I can't see?

Like those are two completely different dynamics. It's the skinship isn't it? Talk to me. Jikookers who see something nonplatonic in Taekook honestly give me trust issues. Y'all have me out here looking over my shoulders.

I am delusional but I'm confident in my delusions because to me it is about the love and support for JM and JK as LGBTQ plus couples. Please stop shipping Jikook, stop shopping JK and JM for eachother and start supporting them because they are real.

IN MY OPINION.

Signed,

GOLDY

[litteidiot]

If your request is still open, can you do 4 MLQC men reaction to MC disappearing on them because MC found out they is pregnant with their kid. MC left because MC did not want the men's reputation to be ruined of having a child with her. She has a job and is not hopeless when she leave. Btw, if you can't that is alright. Love your Victor angst. HONESTLY IT IS REALLY GOOD!!! Stay safe and take care.

My request is open 24/7! I really like your request I’ve already worked with runaway scenarios before so let’s see what I can make from this. Also thnak you for liking my VicVic angst!! And Happy Birthday to our sunshine boy Kiro and my favorite otaku Levi 💕

MC disappearing after finding out she is pregnant pt. 1

———————————————

Type: Headcanon

Before reading: As a base after finding out let’s say MC moved to a quiet area of Loveland City and she has a 7 years old daughter Eleanor. She still works at her company but mostly from home and usually just approved projects.

Attention: Only Eleanor is my character everything else is credited to the Mr Love Team!

Warning: Might contain spoilers!

———————————————

Victor

The life literally got knocked out of him

You insisted you want to stay home because you have been throwing up in the past couple days

It wouldn’t be a problem if only he would find you at home when he returns from work

Your clothes from the closet is gone, every belonging of yours is gone, it’s like you never lived here

He tries to reach you in every way possible but no use. He asked your co-workers, your friends even Lucien if he knows where you might be. But nothing

He can’t lose you again. He searched for you for so many years. You can’t disappear from his life again. The love of his life, the woman who saved him from a lightning bolt not once, but twice. You can’t be gone again

And the procedure starts again. Like last time Victor does every possible thing to find you. If it takes him another 17 years, so be it

Seven years goes by and still nothing from you. Sometimes you hear informations from Anna about Victor and your heart skips a beat everytime. You would love to go back to him but you can’t

Victor is a well known man in the financial market, a surprise baby can majorly damage his status. And you don’t want that, especially if the mother of his child is his employee

One day your daughter comes home from school, eyes are red, cheeks are puffy as she jumps off the school bus and sprinting into your arms sobbing

You soon learn your little angel is bullied because she doesn’t have a daddy

“Mommy, why I don’t have a daddy? Everyone in class has.” She hiccups the words and each of them like an arrow, jab into your soul. After calming her down, you tell her she actually has a daddy, and will visit him first thing tomorrow

The next day you two take a bus and head to the LFG building. You clutch your little girl’s hand as she happily bouncing next to you,blabbering everything what gets into her head

But you are a nervour wreck. What will the meeting be like? Will they get along? Will Victor be mad at you for running away? Will he like her? These thoughts disturbing your mind until you realize you two arrived to LFG

As you walk to the elevator you hear whispers and catch glances as people eyeing you and your daughter. You push the button and bring yourselves to the level Victor’s office is. As usual the level of his office is quiet, people only come here when he orders them to

You walk to the door of his office, your hands shaking and sweating. You stand there for a long time untill you hear a knock. You snap back to see, your daughter’s small fist is banging on the wooden door

“Come in!” Your hear Victor’s stern voice, the voice you haven’t heard for so many years. “Come in!” you hear his voice again, but this time it’s a little bit annoyed

You put yourself together and with a halt you open the door entering his office

Oh, boy. As Victor sees who entered, he got so shocked he accidentally stopped time

He looks at you and then the little girl next to you who are awfully looks just like him. Jet black hair, the same facial features. But the eyes. Her eyes are yours. Big, big brown eyes

“MC?” Your name slips through his lips. For a long moment you three say nothing, untill you crutch down and say:

“Eleanor, you see that man over there? He is your daddy.” You say loud enough for him to hear too

Daddy? As he tries to process what just happened, the girl runs up to him and hugs him. It takes Victor several minutes to understand and hug her back tightly

After the reunion you explain him your actions and reasons why you disappeared. He listens to you, not interrupting at all

“MC. My status and reputation are the least important thing when it comes to you. I love you dearest, never forget that.”

You can be sure now he is the proudest CEO and father in the entire world. You are here, safe and sound and you gave him a family

Eleanor is the flower girl on your wedding. No one can take that position

Gavin

Birdcop.exe stopped working

Literally, if his head doesn’t start to redden he deadass forgets to breathe

Where are you? Why aren’t you at home?

WHERE ARE YOU?!

With your disappearence he stopped functioning. When you left, you ripped a big part of his soul out and carried it away with you

Ever since he tries to find that missing part

Reports, news, surveillance cameras, everything what can give a clue where you might be

Almost beating up Minor, what does it mean he doesn’t know we’re you are?!

You see the flyers and reports here and there as he desperately tries to find you. And it pains you to the core

But you can’t tell him where you are. It gives you sleepless nights knowing he suffers more than you are

He is the captain of the Special Devision and one of the best agent at STF. In this high position you can risk his reputation with a kid

One day, an elementary school class takes a field trip to Loveland Police Station and it happened to be your daughter’s class

As the bunch of little kids walked around in the office a tiny girl stops at Gavin’s desk

“Hi!” She waves eagerly a ginkgo bracelet jingling on her wrist as she does. Gavin looks up from his paperwork and the first thing what caught his eyes is the so familiar beacelet

“What are you doing?” Her questions snaps him out of his thoughts. “I’m doing my paperwork.” He musters out the answer, eyes still fixed on the bracelet

“Do you like my bracelet?” She ask and carefully looks around. “Come closer I’m telling you a secret.” Her little hands gestures him to bent over and she whisperes into his ear:

“My mommy said this beacelet has a magical power. If I wear it all the time, the guardian of this bracelet will sense it in the wind and will protect me.”

It’s no question from that moment Gavin immediately bonded with her. He showed her how things works in this place, he even let her stamp some document what her classmate watched with jealousy

“Eleanor, it’s time to go your mother is here!” The teacher calls the girl.

“Mommy!” She runs to you and immediately starts to rant about her day. “And today I met an AWESOME police officer! He let me help with his work! Look! He is there!” She points at Gavin

Your breath hitches, in Gavin’s hand the documents slips out falling down in a big clatter

“Honey what if you stay here a little? Mommy needs to talk to that officer. I’ll be right back.” You say. After minutes of explanation why she can’t come with you she agrees and joins her friends.

You and Gavin go to a silent and private place and as soon as you two are alone, he wraps you in his arms and caught you off guard with a passionate kiss, what you can’t help but melt into

He then silently envelops you in a hug. You two stay like this until a wave goes through Gavin and his body is shaking with choked sobs. You are here with him in his arms. He found his missing part, it’s like he come back to the fresh air after so many years of suffocating

As you hear his quiet sobs, seven years of bottled up feelings erupts in you and you can’t help but cry too, soaking up his uniform with your tears

Gavin comes back to his senses first, hebpulls away from you, caressing your cheeks, his thumbs wiping away every tears you shed

“It’s okay. I’m here.” He says looking at your eyes, what are red from crying with his also red ones. And it makes you cry even more. You yell at him why he comforts you while you should be the one doing that. Then a wave of apology leaves your lips, explaining everything from the part 7 years

“My work and everything else I am passionate about is one thing. But you are my everything. I don’t care what people thinks about me as long as you and our daughter are here with me.”

Phew this gonna be long af... part 2 with Kiro and Lulu comes soon, stay tuned, I hope you like it so far!!! 💕

You can find more at the Collections section