#like i cant tell you have much she and sam mean to me like

[saltnsugarbear]

first blue-eyed person to Big Brown Eyes!!!

[comet-forgot-you]

pls pls pls write some sub!sam there’s nothing out there and I’ll give you my LIFE 🙏🙏🙏

smut. 18+ pls.

sub!sam who seems to have control in every aspect. shes a natural leader, always knows what to do, shes the one everyone goes to with any issues.

sub!sam who agrees with her friends when they talk about whos more dominant in the bedroom between you two. they obviously say its her, you dont disagree or confirm. you let sam dig herself into a hole, looking at her with an unimpressed look.

sub!sam who doesnt know why she keeps lying. she knows whats to come just from the look on your face. eyebrows slightly raised as she lies straight through her teeth. she knows that the second the two of you are alone, you’ll have her on her knees, a hand in her hair to tug her closer to your cunt.

sub!sam who doesnt say anything when you two get home. she knows shes in trouble, but you dont seem to do anything. you get yourself ready for bed and sam cant help but do the same in complete silence, looking at you expectantly. you have to be planning something, right?

you dont tell her anything. you get into bed, sam following soon after. you cuddle into her side, head on her chest and she slowly wrap her arms around you. youre quiet, and just when sam think you’ve fallen asleep, you move your hand under her shirt, pinching her nipple between your fingers.

sam whines, head dropping back. you feel the bud harden beneath your touch. you twist and tug on her nipple, leaving sam as a whimpering mess in your hold. “fuck,” she whines out, hips bucking against nothing. every tug on her sensitive nipple sends a wave of pleasure coursing through her body, settling in her core.

“you have all the control, hmm?” she hisses when your hand switches to her other nipple, giving it the same attention you gave the other.

“i didnt mean it.”

“why’d you say it then?”

you tug her nipple the second she opens her mouth to respond, all that comes out is a stained moan. you pull away from her, moving to sit between her legs. she looks up at you with pleading eyes, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. you tug her boxers down, fingers moving to spread her sticky folds apart.

sam hisses when you blows a stream of cold air onto her exposed cunt. she wants nothing more than to close her legs. you leave her alone for a minute or two, getting the vibrator you had used on the girl so many times before. when you come back to her, her thighs are closed and shes bucking her hips, a weak attempt at soothing the ache between her legs.

you tap her thigh, “open,” and she does exactly as you say. you find yourself between her legs once again. you push the vibrator through her folds, wetting the toy before settling it on her clit. its not on yet, but that doesnt stop sam from moaning like it is.

you turn it on and the vibrations against her clit have her whimpering out. you circle it around her sensitive clit, leaving sam as a moaning mess as she works up to her orgasm. her head is thrown back, eyes closed as she focuses on the pleasure between her legs.

“look at me.” sam listens after a few moments, eyes meeting yours. theyre blown with lust, bottom lip taken in between her lips. “good.” she squeezes her eyes closed for a moment, opening them when you smack her inner thigh.

“fuck!” sam’s close. you can tell. her eyes struggle to stay open and on you, her fingers curling into the sheets beneath her. you can see the way her abs tense slightly beneath her raised shirt. her moans get closer together, more desperate than the last.

you tug the vibrator away at the last possible second. sam’s eyes widen, whines and quick “nonono’s” leaving her lips. you give her a second for the orgasm to subside before replacing the vibrator on her cunt.

“look at you sam,” you whisper. she shivers, pleading to you as she bucks her hips up to meet the toy. “you were all big and bad, telling all your friends how much control you have. look at you now, baby. just a desperate mess, all for me.”

“all for you, baby, please. im sorry, ill be good, i promise. just let me cum, please baby, ‘m sorry,” she whines out. it sends heat coursing through your body, but you wont give in, whats the fun in that?

“no, baby. you need to learn your lesson. be good and take what i give you, yeah?”

[rebeltigera]

Haiii!! I got question:

Do you have any head-canons for mk? Mac? Wuk?

And what is your personal opinion on season 5?

I am responding second time because the first one didn't send :'D

Pls end me.

I don't remember the headcanons I've mustered out the first time damnit -

*sigh*

Those are general ones , I use the design of the character most of the time to show headcanons

For MK

-He's wasted after one beer.

-his tail subconsciously curl against legs of his friends or person he trust

-he chirp subconsciously

-he don't like bitter things like dark chocolate

For Wukong

- he got thick , strong curly fur . When fluffed up texture it reminds of the dust brush

- his body temperature is much higher due to the furnace punishment

-gets headaches due to the circlet (phantom pain)

-he speak and read fluently ancient Chinese , however he got problems with modern language

-he usually sleeps with lil monkeys around

-he can't get drunk.

-monkeys take care of his fur

For Mac

- his ears are too delicate for piercings. They would hurt.

- thin , straight/wavy fur like smoke . He can't stand cold

- he can always hear past and present but future is randomly whispering to him

- he got lower body temperature (due to the shadow nature)

- when drunk he looks like a beast but he's a snuggly wuggly teddy bear

-he takes care of his fur regularly himself

For Mei (because it's lacking in other categories and I don't remember more :'D)

- When she fights she tunes into imaginary music in the background. Like Gwen from spiderverse 2

About S5

*sigh* Vent warning. not directed at anyone in particular

I am unable to put up presentable opinion on this season

Also warning to everyone that will read it

If you are here to defend/ you are touchy on subject of S5 please avert your eyes.

The season was mid at best. , script was rushed, the core of it was S3 with meek antagonist, the most evil character there was a bug demon with many eyes, and SACRIFICE was basically word for this season.

Other things I remember from it is a burnt dumpling and Nezha's mech. Oh and Wukong being useless, Mac carrying season on his back , MK being even more stupid than usual. A random guy with a pagoda and a Twink snake. Nothing else .

Let's put my opinion about the animation now :D

Flying Bark got sacrificed just like MK in this season lol

The animation was a pure nightmare, it's like Seven deadly sins Incident

And if you guys think it will get much better from that in one year (let's say for example they will produce another season next year) you live high on copium and delulu.

Our juicy yummy frame by frame animation was taken away and they gave us RAGDOLL animation.

What does it mean? -AND HERE TUMBLR DECIDED TO CRASH ON ME AND IM WRITING IT 3rd TIME :D- you know how hieroglyphs are animated? Ye, that's basically it with extra steps! HOW FUN. NOW WE HAVE PUPPETS 2D. A FREAKING GACHA FROM YT IF YOU MUST. THOSE IN SOME CASES ARE EVEN BETTER ANIMATED THAN OUR SHOW ITSELF BTW. This has it's perks! I guess. It's cheaper and easier to make episodes! :D the cons are we will no longer see good battles in the show. yay "But we saw Wukong vs MK! And snippet of Wukong vs Mac fight!" please, spare me. If you are telling me those were good fights , that is half assed animation they have no idea how works and two dots clashing with eachother you should go rewatch other seasons. the fucking disgrace and audacity.

But no matter. That i can live off, that i can gulp down.

YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T? THE SHEER AMOUNT OF MISTAKES ON BASIC LVL IN ART. I am sitting here looking at those colors, those lines this fucking scenography and ask- what a fucking newbie did this .

YOU CAN'T EVEN GET COLOR RIGHT

AND BEFORE ANY OF U F NERDS WILL COME TO ME AND SAY "UUU ACTUALLY ITS LIGHTING FAULT-" NO ITS FUCKING NOT.

THEY CAN'T EVEN USE SAME COLORS AS IN THE PRIOR SHOT , THEY CANT EVEN SAMPLE IT PROPERLY . BETWEEN THOSE SHOTS NOTHING CHANGE THEREFORE THE LIGHTING IS THE FUCKING SAME

IF YOU DON'T DRAW , AND HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT , JUST -

we have a shiny wukong here

What is this scene , please someone can explain to me the scenography of this

Why this perspective is wrong, the shading, the lack of lighting

Here characters don't even stand properly

WHAT IS WITH THIS AWKWARD SCENOGRAPHY ?

WHY THEY ALL LOOK OUT OF PLACE. AND IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS SHADING BECAUSE ITS SHIT.

HAVE THEY MISSED LIKE ALL BASIC LESSONS IN ART SCHOOLS? OR SOMETHING? LIKE THIS IS A JOKE. NO WONDER PEOPLE THOUGHT TRAILER WAS FAN MADE.

Now this- this is just hillarious.

Just add to it some dramatic intense sound effect and we have another nightmare.

The voice acting was great tho

[mothdustts]

A sorta rant about Sam from Stardew Valley and his 4 heart event cuz i cant sleep and hes my wee lil goober

So apparently sam is a pretty underrated bachelor mainly due to his behaviour and personality in heart events that can cause him to come off as “immature and too young” which yea it’s understandable. So this is coming off from a perspective of a almost 20 year old uni student who really find Sam rather interesting and relatable.

So seems like a lot of people tend to point out his 4 and 10 heart events (sometime 6 even) as to their reason on finding Sam like a bit distasteful. I wanna talk about his 4 heart event cuz the more i looked back onto it, the more it hits me and find him very relatable in terms of personal experiences. So lemme bring up his 4 hear event and give yall my personal lense of it.

The 4 heart event has Sam trying to get you a snack but dropped an egg by accident, which caught Jodi’s attention.

And of course Sam seemed distressed about it, and so is Jodi’s reaction as she got mad about something as minuscule as an egg crack on the kitchen floor. We as the player has to be the one to tell Jodi what happen (where you can either tell what actually happened or choose to lie and say you dropped the egg btw)

Pretty much the best option is to lie and say you did it, and Jodi forgives you and plays it cool ofc. Jodi gives off the same reaction when you tell the truth and said that Sam dropped by accident.

I’m guessing that’s because it’s YOU who’s telling her what happened rather than it coming from Sam, which of course Jodi would be a bit more forgiving so she would cause a scene in front of their guest. Had you not been there and its just a casual day in their household, it’s likely that Sam will get hella berated and scolded by Jodi over an egg.

It seems very subtle I guess but Sam not responding to Jodi’s question may be the cause of previous experience with causing minor accidents around the house and getting scolded by his Mom. He may also seem really scared to respond with the truth, fearing his mom’s reaction hence relies on you to do the talking.

And personally, this had happened to me a lot growing up, with my mom literally scolding the fuck outta me if I ever made a minor mess or an accident around the house, so it did impacted me growing up anf maturing into adulthood. I remember as a kid I had to lie a lot because i fear that she would shout at me or worse hit me and yikes that got a wee bit dark didnt it bruh.

Sam may have not mature out in that department and of course it would have to do with his upbringing, being raised by Jodi and having an absent father as well which i’d say makes him hard to be mentally matured.

So yea i guess that all i gotta say and since this is all just speculation and basically my interpretation of this heart event, do take it with a grain of salt.

I might make a revised version of this to make it more cohesive and shit, i mean like i literally am writing this at 3am so meow :3

Y’all are welcomed to reply or reblog to open up a discussion and id love to hear and chat with you about your thoughts and insight about this hehe :D

goodnight gois!!! especially to you Sam stans out there!!!

[iwannascreameurekaa]

pjo characters favorite Chappell roan looks part 1

guess who found this stupid list again I keep forgetting I do these things. spoiler warning this is ooc and very bad. I did most of this at 3-5 am so get ready for sleep deprived writing. part 2

Leo's is 100% this look from the 2024 VMAs. You tell me he wouldn't absolutely adore the edits of her saying "not me bitch" he would actually say "zoo wee mama" unironically okay

Percy's is this from the album cover for the rise and fall of a Midwest princess photo shoot both because of how it has an intense feeling of being out a place and because it's BLUE! Also he likes the lighting of the photo

Pipers is the marching band outfit from the hot to go music video

Jason fav is the butterfly look from Coachella 2024 

Hazel is absolutely obsessed with the tiny desk concert look and I agree because OH MY GODS. Hazel loves the layering of the hair, and that there's a trash bag in Chappells hair. Her favorite part about the whole outfit is the socks but the little butterfly clip in Chappells hair is so cute to Hazel. 

Annabeths favorite is the Statue of Liberty look from the governors ball yes it might be because she's an architecture nerd but also she's a bi disaster mkay

Franks is the white swan look from Jimmy Fallon. He will scream the bridge to good luck babe even tho he's a man and he will BLAST THAT SHIT TOO. 

Grover's fav look is when she was on the comment section podcast. It's whimsical and cute and he adores it. Also he supports Chappell roan 100% on the boundaries she set bc SHE IS A PERSON BE NICE YALL ☹️ he's a Chappell defender for life 

Drews favorite is the casual mv dress (whoa sapphic drew anyone???) let's just say she had a "situationship" thing and now I wanna write angst anyways FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNERRR

Katie loves the giver outfit. The plaid is something that Katie can't NOT love okay. The curls and whole country vibe really get her 

Lit loved the taxi dress. he recognizes cunt when he sees it and he cracks up at the green paint 

Nyssa loves the snl look but specifically with the hat the hats important okay. I think a kid of Hephaestus would really like this outfit bc of the rope things and um idk how to describe it you know what I mean tho okay 

Blitz absolutely adore the pink pony club outfit from chappells performance on snl. The seamless white dress that sparkles and looks like literal heaven is something that can't be hated by someone who loves fashion as much as blitz does. He loves the stripe of white in chappells wig and the bow on the side of her waist. Really the whole outfit is incredibly and he will not hesitate to tell you 

Georgie likes this look from either one of chappells tours or from when she opened for Olivia Rodrigo I cant remember but she loves the tassels (?) and the shininess and everything about it. This is the outfit an 8 year old would adore

Alabasters fav is this magician look from a photo shoot that I can't the remember the name of. Maybe a little cliche but shush

Ethan's favorite is this incredibly look that I have no idea what to call or where it's from. All I know is that Chappell is serving all sorts of things and Ethan agrees with me okay I'm literally Rick himself 

Shels favorite is the snl look but without the hat. She likes the waist pieces she says they look like butterflies and she really likes the slick back look of her hair and then the curls messy in the back. It's a vibe. 

Sams favorite is the look Chappell had on Sabrina carpenters Christmas special A Nonsense Christmas. There's two pics because I absolutely adore this look. She's so elegant wtf.

Lavinias favorite is the dress Chappell had on when she was invited to perform with Olivias Rodrigo at one of her concerts. It's pink it's flowery it's sparkly, what more could you ask for? 

Cecil would've tried to recreate this makeup look and he would've failed miserably. The tights really pull this outfit together. The neck ruffle, the flowers in her hair. Cecil loves everything about it.  

Calypsos favorite look is the Marie ann look with the wig because a) it absolutely eats and even this 6000 year old girl can recognize an icon and b) calypsos a sucker for the flower embroidery on the front 

Gwen would've loved this like I don't know anything about her but she feels like the kinda gal to be obsessed with marriage culture and not in a "I wanna get married and have a big beautiful wedding" way I mean a "I know every aspect of this, good and bad, and am willing to be the backbone of the failing society" way 

Rip Lou Ellen you would've loved kaleidoscope. Rick can you give Lou a book and then make her a tragic lesbian I would love that please and thank you. Also the freaking star clips in this outfit are fiahkajda. Btw this is chappells kaleidoscope outfit and yes it's lous fav and it's beautiful. 

paolos fav is the angel look. Basic? maybe. but stunning? yes

Zoes fav is this blue cowboy look. It's shiny and she likes the color blue. Also the sparkles kinda look like stars... whoa who said that whattt

Bianca's fav is this wonderful look that is glitching and the backgrounds gone my phone is about to explode I apologize. The detail on this is insane. The tassels hanging from every end, the points and curves that really give it that alternative and crazy look. Rip Bianca you wouldve loved the subway.  

Dionysus but Mr D specifically. He's a queer icon and he loves the other queer icons as well. This outfit from the guts would tour film premiere is his favorite  because of many reason. First is the red mesh the entire dress is made off. Chappells whole red aesthetic really does remind me of red wine and shit and also I'm just grasping for ways to connect this to Mr d so bear with me. Also the flowers on the dress are so freaking pretty usgajfjwhwh love those. The black boots contrast great with the rest of the outfit and I know Mr d would like that detail. Also the fact that her tits are almost out. yes Dionysus wouldve love you yes Chappell get it girl I love you

Luke's favorite is this look. I don't know where it's from but I think this reminds Luke of his mom. Maybe his mom liked animal print idk I just like this outfit

Junipers fav is this one and I also don't know where it's from. It's a simpler outfit than others but it's so adorable and juniper would love chappells aesthetic okay like juniper would be the biggest fan of California I just KNOW

and that's all I have. of course there's so many more looks and characters so if I missed anyone or a look you like feel free to request it I am bored out of my mind rn

part 2

[coca-colas-truck-driver]

during the two years dean and sam didnt talk, bobby and sam had three different dinners together. one a week after the incident, bobby’s voice gruff as he spoke over the bottle cheap beer clutched against his palm. bobby spoke with uncertainty, clearlh feeling as if he was overstepping but something was pushing him to talk to sam “your brother. hes a fucking idjit, never knew when to quit, ill tell you that much” bobby huffs, getting side tracked before shaking his head.

“listen, i know im not your father.” bobby pauses, taking another swig of his beer. he licks his lips, wiping the liquid that had spilled out of the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand “but johns god knows where and you havent even spoken in over two years. deans… well, hes dean. im not saying drop out, but you cant just ignore your brother like this, it isnt like you two.” sam knows bobby isnt saying what he means, that the words are constructed and well planned for the most part.

sam nods, feeling dizzy with the minimal movement as he remembers how dean had behaved upon being told about jess, how sam thought things might become a thing. it was slurred into the side of dean’s sweaty neck, sam’s lips ghosting over his skin as he let dean hold him close. he doesnt even know why he told dean that, since jess is nice and pretty, but even when hes with her hes thinking about the next time he’ll be here.

dean had reacted poorly, and sam doesnt even blame him. sam used to act like a petty bitch when he didnt get his way with deans issue with monogamy. he doesnt even remember the hushed conversations had over a fake wooden dinner table while john stepped out for a smoke, just remembers deans face as he passive aggressively put sams mac and cheese in front of him before going out to get into a bar with a fake id john didnt know about.

“i think its better this way” sam shrugs “i have a girlfriend. shes great.” sam nods to himself, picking at the nachos they got to split.

“dean told me. i think its a bad idea. you know how those things end.”

[winchesticles67]

SPN rewatch, 1X01, 'pilot'

okay so i basically just wrote down what was going through my wackadoo brain whilst watching the ep, its a little kooky and spooky but here:

why would you leave an awake 6 m/o child alone in a room wth

i hate john ew

help johns brows kill me

DEAN IS FOUR YEARS OLD WTF ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR YOUR WIFE SHES BURNING ON THE CEILING. YOU TAKE SAM AND DEAN AND GO DONT PUT THAT ON A 4 Y/O

nosy ass neighbours

silent intro???? just 'supernatural', no noise???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JESS

so pretty woman

little jared w his floppy hairrr <333

sams face when he takes the shot kills meeeeee hes the human version of the grimacing emoji hahhahahaah

sam's friend is actually such a vibe "more shots?" "NO"

crash and burn always cracks me up

dean youre not supposed to break into peoples houses

how did jess not wake up while these two idiots just went at it??

alcoholism foreshadowing :(

a few days? dawg you guys have been on hunting trips for longer why is this so dramatic

'it wasnt easy but it wasnt that bad' STFU DEAN YOU LITTLE PISS

dont get so pissed when sam mentions mary, dean, she was his mom too you crap

not the s15 finale parallel im sobbing

wtf is that voicemail from john?? that never made sense to me

love the wade felton hairstyle jared

oh he fixed his bangs nvm

love the primal jungle screams of the first victim theyre almost funny

SAM EAT BREAKFAST YOU NEED NUTRITION

omg jensen you make me swoon "sorry cant hear you, the musics too loud :D" loved that delivery

why does dean have badges for sam if they havent been hunting together? that always confused me

dean is such a dick to these police i mean they didnt do anything wrong

sam is so morally right STOMP ON DEANS FOOT FOR THAT BITCH ASS COMMENT YOU GO GIRL

love the x files ref

i love that girls friend, asking if shes ok when two strangely vertical men are speaking to her

why does jared make his voice all raspy and tiny in the first season when sams being comforting. like its cute but it went away after s1

ah playful sibling punches. i wish they stayed that way and didnt turn into dean beating tf out of sam :/

OMG LITTLE JENSEN HAS MY HEART FR

s1 dean actually means sm to me. he still sucks but like :(( he was happy and wasnt drowned in whiskey

dean get off of sam MARY WASNT JUST YOUR MOTHER

i love the impala sm if she was a person id hit that, i get why dean loves her sm

i love that deans just covered in yuck lmao

"you smell like a toilet" you tell him sammy tell that stinky man

sam tugging an absent minded dean into the motel room by his jacket collar <3

JERK -> BITCH

jess's voicemail devastates me. i really loved her and she wasnt talked abt enough. one episode, one djinn dream, one "he was gonna marry her", two lucifer dreams, and and a teensy meaningful mention in s15

you got anything thats real? "my boobs. :D"

aaaaahhh pilot sam i cant get over him his hairs so dark and gorgeous

i love sam and his insistence on making this man feel guilty for cheating >:) get it bbg

omg pilot sam is so gorgeous his hair i love him im turning red and im swooning abt it

constance get your nightgown wearing ass away from sam :((

the glitching effect used on constance is so baddass

ew constance get of off him youre nasty. why wasnt this talked abt she was nasty

SAMS SCREAMS MAKE ME SO SAD

'im taking you home' okay sexy determined hot man

the authenticity of the props and the sets and the outfits in s1 (through like s4/5ish??) means a lot to me

"youve come home to us mommy" ew i hate kids

the sfx of constances ghost death was weird...

"AHAHAHHHA" jared i love you

"what were you thinking, shooting casper in the face, you freak?" top tier line, i love that line

NO I CANT STAND THIS SCENE. SAM DONT GO IN YOUR BEDROOM BBG

sam screaming for jess haunts me. she was his everything he loved her so much :(

not me just noticing the TEARS STREAMING DOWN SAMS CHEEKS WHEN HES STANDING BY THE IMPALA??? FUCK I HATE THIS FOR HIM

comparing sams attitude after jess's death with his attitude in the flashbacks in 'i know what you did last summer' and im screaming about it

how many ___ so far: - x files references: 1 - jerk bitches: 1

[colbystoes]

Rumors pt2

Part 1. Part 2(colby ver.)

hi, this is rumors part 2 but sams version. if you liked part 1 go ahead n click the link above where i have listed both parts.

Summary: You and colby got into a fight after rumors about your relationship spread online and sam intervenes, something unpredictable happens.

bold text: colby

normal text: sam

italics: y/n

r/n is a random girl. just think of a name.

—

3rd pov.

Next morning was even worse. You had no clue where Colby even was, he just like…disappeared. You spent the morning with sam, since he was there for you all night, taking you food, comforting you, basically being the only one that was there. You loved him for that, he was so sweet even when you had massive fights with colby but colby woul get jealous because of that reason. It always caused fights between you too and sam would just distance himself from you since he didnt want to ruin his friendship.

Mostly spending time with sam, you realized that deep down you really cared and appreciated him. You can’t say you see him as a friend but more than that. It’s always been like this, at one point there was a love triangle between the three of you and you choose colby because your love was strong for him. Maybe not. Sam cared so much for you, he would die for you, do anything for you. He had such a soft spot for you, unlike colby, he ignored girls because of how in love he was with you.

Later that day, you went shopping with sam just lift up your mood, chitchatting, and laughing with sam until two particular faces came into view and ruined your mood. Colby and R/n. Disgust filled your face and soon as R/n tries coming up to you. Sams face filled with worry turns to you making sure you dont act out.

“im fine sam..” you whisper to him, you turn towards her and say hi, fake smiling. “HI Y/N” she screeched excitedly.

“this bitch”

“hey guys, sorry we can’t chitchat we have to go byeee!” sam says while he drags me out of there. You look back at Colby, while he stares at you with no expression.

“you really need to talk it out with him” “i know”

—

You’re laying down in your shared bed with colby, when he walks in and slams the door. You jolt up when the loud slam happened. “what the fuck?” you shout. It was late, there shouldn’t be any ruckus happening. You can tell he had been drinking by the way he was standing, he always got aggressive when he was tipsy.

“what? what kind of fucking problem do you have?” colby shouts. Guessing sam was near, you try to calm him down. “geez colby chill out, no need to scream when you’re the problem.”

“the fuck do you mean?, im the problem? how?, youre the one acting bitchy and ignoring me.”

“I KNOW YOU DONT CARE YOU NEVER CARED…you care more about her than me..” your voice got quiet as the tears slip down, blurring your vision. Colby raised his to slap you, but before he could sam came in charging at him tackling him to the ground.

“don’t you dare put a hand on her.” Sam growled, pinning colbys arms down. You rushed out, grabbing your phone and a blanket and ran into sams room. You sobbed and sobbed, not even noticing sam walk in until you felt his arms around you.

—

1st pov.

—

“its okay y/n its okay…” Sam hushes while he put a hand through your hair. It soothes me, i always feel safe with sam. I cant say the same for colby.

“im sorry sam, i didnt mean for this to happen..” i whisper into his chest, he tighted his grip around me.

“it doesnt matter. just know that im here and i will always love you.” sam says getting quieter towards the end. I lift my head with a puzzled look. Of course i knew, i knew he loved me. Ever since we were kids.

“i love you more.” I say, grinning with a growing blush across my cheeks. Our faces got closer and closer eventually our noses were touching.

“you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.” sam whispered with a grin. Our lips connected softly, it didnt feel forced it felt passionate. I felt his hand trickle its way up to my jawline, the kiss got slower and slower until we pulled away. We stared at each other while we caught our breath. I’ve never felt this way before with no one. He made me feel different. I loved him.

I guess colby and i aren’t together.

—

hiii, okay so this sams version since @blogcybr requested it!! thank you i honestly like this one better🥰.

[chronicallyblyrie]

MAGNUS PROTOCOL SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

ALRIGHT, its time to go off about these first 2 episodes Episode 1: -SAM AND ALICE MY LOVES

-Gwendolyn was either going to be the biggest win or the biggest loss for lesbians, SHE IS A WIN

-I still cannot get over everyone immediately going "Nah Sam, you touch grass, which means you CAN NOT work here" - So it seems all the audio is being recorded by the computers as opposed to tape recorders this time (except for the scenes like sam and alice at the bar which is somewhat confusing me but whatever) This is DEFINITELY falling into line with the technology theme still and I am loving it

-I really cannot tell if Lena is evil or not, I don't think Rusty Quill would be like "yeah this is just Elias all over again" but who knows, she still gives off the same icky evil person vibes so I could be totally wrong -Going back to eye imagery just immediately in the first episode with gory photos of eyes in a chat forum, welcome back ceaseless watcher we missed you so much

-THESE SNEAKY BASTARDS USING JON AND MARTINS VOICES TO TAUNT US I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING JONNY SIMS

-Also 3rd voice is who??? we obviously know now that the 3rd redacted character is going to be a tts voice aswell but my question is who is this tts supposed to be? its a possibility that it is Jonah but I am not entirely convinced

-Sam mentioned that the talk of the institute was a "Blast from the past"? now THATS interesting

-Okay cool so Colin is just paranoid and does not trust anyone good to know

Episode 2:

-WOOO SHORT STORY TIME

-This sounds like some flesh shit ngl

-"Time isn't real" so true Alice so true

-The Alice and Gwen rivalry is so goofy I cant get over these two silly little gals

- Alice has a brother, lets hope this one doesn't pull a Danny Stoker

-Oh no Saaaaaaam don't go researching the creepy institute nooooooooooo, would be a shame if you got yourself tied up into some eldritch horrors

Anyways I think thats it cant wait for next thursday so I can giggle and kick my feet again while I listen to more horrors beyond my comprehension

[commanderquinn]

a list of canon ways in which lillian hart is The Fucking Worst that cora coe deserves financial and emotional compensation for:

-the basis for the big divorce counseling mission is that cora's worried for her mother's safety. that means, before going on a deep cover operation with smugglers known to kill rangers, marines, or anyone else caught trying to interfere with their business, lillian didnt leave her daughter a heads up much less a lead. once the fuck again, this woman decided that her career was more important than her daughter's mental and emotional health. once the fuck again, this woman decided she could just disappear from cora's life and then come back out of the blue without consequence

-when you go to lillian's office to look for her at cora's request, the guy working the desk knows SAM well enough to know his name and give him shit like they've got a personal history, but he??? isnt sure about????? cora's name???? word for word, he looks at her and says "it's cora, right?" you're telling me that this woman doesn't talk about her kid enough for her fellow INVESTIAGATIVE rangers to be sure about her name??? are you SHITTING ME??????? get the fuck out of here. you cant push "ranger family values" and the close ties they have in one breath then claim she likes to keep a professional distance at work in the other. you wanna have the conversation about what fresh hell it is being a working mother in a position of power, lets go, ill have that conversation all day long. but lillian hart is not a fucking example of a working mother and im gonna be pretty fucking insulted for working mothers everywhere if i catch wind of ppl trying to pull that kind of defense card. the woman's an awful parent and should be held the fuck accountable for it. you wanna know how i know????

she doesn't say cora's name enough for the ranger watching the door to be confident in it, but he remembers alllll the stories of the captain her ex is cozying up to. and lillian is the one to confirm during the quest that she has been getting the stories from cora, so there's some clear "oh she already likes the stranger more than me." i know im reading into it because its fiction and none of these people are real, but ive also, y'know been in cora's shoes, so i can tell you from real life experience that shit does exist. idk if that was the writers INTENT, but it sure does a great job at reflecting a very sad reality

-sam points out its dumb that lillian wants to speed the ship, with her daughter on it, directly at the sydicate. idk abt y'all, but my ship was pretty dinky at that point bc i was focused on outposts, and we got ambushed by like 6 ship waves once we landed for that fight. again, i get it. game mechanics get a higher priority than realism. but this whole "we have to finish this because theres a chance you were spotted trying to rescue me" shit is so. nauseating. theres no demand to drop off cora somewhere safe, theres no "lets call in the cavalry." its this fucking egomaniac looking you dead in the eye and being like "i know i just traumatized the shit out of my kid but i need you to drive us into an ambush while she's still on board. hope you're a good shot because sam and i cant kill them ourselves." and so what that we did that????? YOURE TELLING ME IT WAS JUST THOSE SHIPS???? the rest of the organization is just going to LET IT GO???? like no fucking wonder sam sees himself as the better option even through all his fucking doubt. at least he knows when to turn the fuck around because shit is above his paygrade

-she has custody rights. she is a decorated and respected ranger. sam being a smuggler wasnt public knowledge, but point out one person in akila who wouldnt believe her in a heartbeat over it. everyone in town gives him nothing but shit, and they all side with his dad who was definitely no picnic to live with. im guessing big emotional detachment there, lotta interrogation and persecution rather than teaching and understanding. HELL, sam would probably own up to his past if lillian outed him for it, he's that type of idiot. at literally any point she could put in the effort to get legal council involved. if she's SOOOO by the law, whats the hold up there???? i agree the kid shouldnt be on my ship while im in the middle of a space fight. ive talked with sam about it, and im not even the kids parent (as of the personal quest). what the fuck are you doing about it lillian????????? oh thats right. we cant get lillian on the phone. whomp whomp.

-she made cora cry. hyper independent, "big girls dont cry" cora coe. multiple times. worse, she made cora cry because she made cora feel like she wasn't as important as lillian's career. i dont give a fuck what criminals are doing. i do not give a fuck. i give a fuck that that little pixel child got her heart broken and there isnt a dialogue for me to call out her mother for being a huge fucking cunt to her own daughter but theres a thousand and one options for me to tell sam he's parenting wrong. he is, and i have no problem using them when they're appropriate, but where the fuck are they for lillian??? why am i not allowed to tear this woman a new asshole at any point, but there's like 20+ extra dialogue options added to every single npc you have a persuade option with???? todd my head hurts and its your fault

-"im sure sam's told you all about me. go on. ask whatever you want." yet there is no option to ask what the fuck her problem is. so, clearly, i cannot, in fact, ask whatever i want.

-"but the looks i got from my fellow rangers reading alexander dumas... we do strange things for kids." yeah hart??? thats your standard????? THATS your idea of going out of your way for your kid??? literally how did sam fall for this woman oh my god i cant even listen to her speak without wanting to use the power of bitchhood i inherited from a long line of angry irish women to ridicule her to tears. maybe then she'll fucking understand how small she makes her fucking kid feel every time she turns a moment of bonding into a little "woe is me and my comfort zone oh how unfortunate i am to have a brilliant daughter that wants to connect with me through her greatest passion"

-she openly admits that she dumped the cargo sam was smuggling not because she felt any connection or sympathy or just didnt want to destroy someones chance at life in a capitalist society, but because he was a good pilot and she didnt want that talent to "go to waste" so she could recruit him. thats not really a thing against cora i just really fucking hate that and the picture it paints of her priorities as a human being

-"if we're going to be really honest here... back when we were a team... cora would follow you everywhere, like a little adoring dog. i... just fell out of it. long before we separated."

i literally. do not have words for how fucking disgusted i am by that line of dialogue. oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god. i. i TRULY would not even know where to start. the dog comparison makes me violently angry and if you'd given me a punch interrupt at that moment, i would have broken my keyboard punching the accept option

-go replay or watch a recording of that divorce counseling mission one more time. while you're doing it, imagine the roles reversed. imagine youre romancing a character thats a mother bringing cora into space, and the ranger standing in your cockpit asking to finish the mission is her father who took off to live at work once it was clear his little girl liked mommy better. imagine THAT while you listen to the (imo) out of fucking pocket dialogue where sam constantly praises lillian for being "a good ranger/woman." then you come back and tell me how comfortable you are with the concept of lillian hart as a character.

[asmogorna]

Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!

OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"

alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me

anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref

First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love

Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored

After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)

ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!

Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3

Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)

Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi

Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty

Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)

LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter

THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3

[stxrvel]

something #2

hi guys! i think im enjoying writing short stuff better, bc i tend to get stuck with the longer ones. still gonna see how that will turn out. do you guys have anything in mind you want to read? i cant seem to find the inspiration to continue the projects i already have. i'll read you!! hope u like this! see u next time. love u <3

warnings: hateful acts, all against all, people (avengers) taking sides, mean reader

Sometimes, when Y/N went to the Tower, the atmosphere was not as uncomfortable as she imagined. She could even say that she didn't have such a bad time, but it still wasn't one of her favorite places. It was times like those that she could remember why she preferred the solitude of the Complex to the uptight fraternity of the Tower.

“Ah, that mission really was a disaster,” Sam Wilson was telling some story in the middle of the kitchen island, most of the group gathered around him, a huge scowl on his face, barely noticing a fidgeting Steve Rogers. Y/N occasionally returned to the conversation, too much on her mind at the moment.

“I don't think I've ever seen Fury so angry,” Tony Stark spoke next to her, sipping his coffee stretched out on the uncomfortable kitchen chairs.

“We spent about… what, two weeks in penance?” Natasha Romanoff shook her head, a grimace on her face as she remembered Fury's reprimand and the days following that terrible mission, as she approached Y/N with a green drink in her clear acrylic cup.

“And Fury's penances are to be feared. I don't think it ever occurred to me to be that reckless again,” Sam looked back at Y/N, reminding her with a glance that the topic of conversation had turned thanks to her, when she came into the kitchen along with Natasha and they decided the best topic of conversation was last week's disastrous mission. Sam may have wanted to be benevolent and show understanding, but she really couldn't care less.

“I wasn't reckless,” Y/N lifted her shoulders, absently sipping from the glass Natasha had reached for, sitting next to her with an amused expression.

“I second that,” the redhead waved her glass in Y/N's direction, earning a sidelong glance from Steve on the other side from the kitchen doorway.

“You weren't because it was avoided,” Sam mimicked her gesture, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms folded across his chest, his drink forgotten on the kitchen island.

“If it wasn't reckless what they decided to do, why in the same way do we have a veto?”

Sam didn't answer her, just as she expected, and barely smiled at Natasha as she clinked her glass against hers in a silent toast. The atmosphere in the kitchen had become somewhat tense, and for the first time she was pleased that Tony hadn't intruded on the conversation. Perhaps he was more in agreement with her than he would want to accept.

“If you're done,” Steve finally spoke up, standing in the doorway with tense shoulders, sending a hard glare at the redhead and Y/N, “Sam and I have to go.”

Wilson exhaled gruffly, grabbing his mug rinsing it in the dishwasher before following in the Captain's quick footsteps, not before sending a glare at the rest of those present in the kitchen.

“You don't know when to be quiet,” Tony spoke after a few seconds, as the sound of the elevator doors closing reached their ears. “That's why I like you so much.”

“It was obvious Wilson would side with Barnes, but I didn't think he'd be so openly against you,” Natasha moved to occupy the space next to Tony at the counter, right where Falcon had been a few minutes earlier. Natasha looked disgruntled, genuinely interested to know what was going on with Wilson, but Tony next to her was the manifestation of quite the opposite, with the corner of his lips cocked to one side and a bored gesture.

“Sam thinks it's my fault. He finds it impossible to believe that two people as righteous as Rogers and Barnes could do something so wrong,” Y/N replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Besides it hasn't been the same between us since what happened that time,” Tony tilted his head, blinking rapidly as if trying to rush the memories out. “They still hate us.”

“They hate me,” Y/N corrected him, earning an incredulous look from both of them instantly. Natasha frowned.

“You didn't do anything wrong, and they demonize us for being on your side. But some other people on this team have done worse,” the redhead tossed the comment into the air, and it seemed that the memories came very easily to each of them.

“Whatever it is, I couldn't care less,” Y/N stood up, taking the now empty glass and rinsing it in the dishwasher.

Natasha knew she was about to leave, so she broke away from the counter and changed the topic of conversation.

“Do you want us to make change?”

Y/N looked at the redhead with a bored expression. There was the possibility of requesting a change of mission with any team member once a month, and since it was just the beginning of November the shifts had been restarted. Last month Y/N had requested a change with Natasha because she was sure she couldn't spend too much time around her partner without wanting to hang him with her bare hands. She hadn't had any more missions with him up to that point and had the opportunity in front of her to avoid it, but this time she didn't want to take that option. She had a feeling something worse was coming.

“No, I'll be fine.”

“Do you think you can spend more than twenty-four hours with Scott?”

“He's stupid, irritating and annoying, but you guys know there are worse things in this life.”

“Worse things like the unmentionable?”

It was impossible to miss the look Natasha automatically shot Tony, which Y/N was sure if she had been standing next to him she would've elbowed the air out of him.

“Yeah, Tony, you're a genius,” Y/N rolled her eyes, grabbing her cell phone next to Natasha and moving to leave the kitchen.

But just when she thought she could have an enjoyable and uneventful day at the Tower, without this kind of incident, Barnes appeared just inside the entrance and it was instantaneous change in the mood. She even noticed Natasha and Tony stirring in their positions as if they were finding it hard to breathe amidst all the tension.

“Ah, you again.”

Y/N wasn't going to be the one to move to let Barnes in and judging by the look on his face it seemed he wasn't either. That was the way it was every time.

“You were also the last person I expected to see, actually.”

She'd seen that attempt at a carefree expression on Barnes' face a hundred times, but it didn't go unnoticed the way he tried to hide his quickened breathing or the indiscreet way he moved his eyes all over her face. His heavy, deep breathing almost convinced her of his disinterest, but she noticed the small changes and movements in his chest. It was impossible that after so long he could hide anything from her. Maybe that was why he was trying to convince himself that he hated her, because try as he might he couldn't figure her out after all that had happened like she could him.

But that was irrelevant. Barnes had long since ceased to be anyone in her life.

“Move,” was what she said, even though a couple of other things went through her head just to annoy him.

“You move,” he retorted, adopting a more relaxed posture.

Her blood boiled, almost certain that the veins in her forehead could be seen at that distance from how hard she was trying to hold back because just the sight of him was enough to upset all the chemistry in her body that deeply detested him.

With her dark gaze that she was sure could cut into his skin if it were physically possible, Y/N raised one of her hands to rest it on one of Barnes' shoulders, catching him completely off guard because he was surely expecting a hateful response that would incite an argument, as it did sometimes happen.

But Y/N wasn't in the mood for that, as many times. The times she took the time to argue with Barnes was when she had too much anger inside that she felt she had to take it out on something or she was going to implode.

So Barnes let his guard down completely, his bored expression changing to complete stupefaction and surprise, looking at her face and then her hand on his left shoulder. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.

Y/N understood at that moment the expression “like a fish out of water”.

It was at that moment of greatest cluelessness that Y/N used her hand to push the man who was almost twice her height. Barnes moved as if he were a leaf in the middle of a gale, a little use of her strength was enough to send the distracted man to the ground.

With the noise muffled by his clothes, Y/N walked past him as if nothing extraordinary had happened, with the restrained laughter of her companions behind her and Barnes' gaze following her until the elevator doors closed.

[likeadevils]

what songs from TTPD and TA are now yours? Which ones have spoken to you the most?

songs that are genuinely MINE

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: i cried myself to sleep listening to this song on repeat on release night and for the life of me i cant tell you why. i think it’s a great example of her being older really deepening her writing— just that old scarred over longing of a possible life, a possible love, too far away to reach but close enough to brush past. also, the double edged sword of “if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say’ i loved you the way that you were’”— you loved me before i’d twisted myself into the shape i am now in order to keep my current partner, but also, you loved me the way i was, not the way i am now

i look in peoples windows: i wrote a poem with the line “im afflicted by the not knowing” in it!! inspired by the outside!! and by spending so much of my childhood reading by moonlight and spying on my neighbors through their windows!!! it was called where midnight lives!!! what the fuck!!!

robin: another song i sobbed hysterically to. i was a strange little violent child obsessed with dinosaurs it feels like a lullaby someone made specifically about 3 year old me.

songs that i’m obsessed with:

but daddy i love him: the bridge is just so fun to scream along to. everytime ive been in a car since the album came out ive played this at least two times just cause

fresh out the slammer: it’s just. the first verse??? the way the song stutters apart for the last verse??? this song takes the blurry muse conceit of the album and uses it to its fullest. also just the diminishing returns from “but its gonna be alright, i did my time”

i can do it with a broken heart: my first listen favorite

the smallest man who ever lived: the bridge????? the bridge???? the bridge???? a few of the negative reviews specifically mentioned this song as boring and for a millisecond i was so angry i could’ve exploded

the black dog: this is like, the platonic ideal of a taylor swift song to me. just that old quiet tragedy she can build out of little moments of hoping your ex will remember you when they hear your favorite song or not having known your last kiss was your last kiss or your ex still sharing their location with you. like, it’s just her at her best, but with the maturity to sing “and you jump up, but she’s too young to know this song”

i hate it here: people have talked about seeing reputation in the anthology but i think you can also see so much debut and it makes me feel so tender. also i genuinely don’t understand why people don’t like “if chose the 1830s but without all the racists” like?? it’s supposed to be a bit clunky?? the songs about the limits of escapism?? the line enhances both of those themes?? also “i’m there most of the year” is such a funny devastating relatable lyric to say about a daydream

thank you aimee: it’s not every day a song inspires you to send this message about something a child did to you (fuck you madeline!!! fuck you jessie!!!)

the bolter: avoidant attachment representation!!! i love that it takes the stuff she hated about herself in the archer and just accepts and loves them and appreciates what they’ve given her. i especially love it because bolt can mean like, crossbow bolts, so it’s a flip on the archer. also “bolt” is one of my favorite words i love all the different meanings

“the only thing that’s left is the manuscript, one less souvenir from my trip to your shores, now and then i re-read the manuscript, but the story isnt mine anymore” also just had me sobbing. there’s just. wtf!!!!!!

[ao3wasntenough]

Sam finally tell why he can't connect and refuse connect with kids and even dislike thrm. He finally told them

Sam : you forgetting I was human, WAS. Now I am not but Same time I never can be cybertron too. You ask me why I can't connect with the kids? It's simple because I can't feel what they feel anymore and I can't even understand what meaning being cybertron. Did you ever thinking that?

Did you ever thinking that why I dislike the kids so much because they are remaining me that I can be like them, I should be like them but I can't because of you. Because of you I lose that chance, now I am just weird robot that never can't be human or even robot self. Forever stuck in middle

Call me cruel person, everytime I see they happy , Every laugh, every smile , every affection they got from them parents or Autobots that like humans they have it's hurt me so much because I will never have that again.

They existence are mirror that I want smash and destroy so bad. Mirror that keep rubbing on my face that saying I should be like them

(Do you want put more something?I not really good at dialogue)

you hit the nail on the head

Acree is probably the Bot I could see bringing up and confronting the autobots with Samuel and how risky it is keeping him around the kids. She's grown to care about them, and while I think she'd also understand seeing a bot struggle to accept and get along with new teammates after barely surviving and changing so much. But she cares about the kids and their safety as a guardian. and Sam seems the greatest threat in the base to them and he's lashing out at everyone with little respect to Prime as a leader or anyone older and more experience makes him a loose canon they cant keep ignoring

And Sam would agree. Acree wouldn't say it but Sam would. He has to go. whether they can find and trust another autobot team open to having him him or he goes off under government surveillance (fowler would bring this up). Or "I hate the government more then I hate Starscream" witwicky chooses to strike out rouge/neutral

"I'm sorry I let you down Optimus..."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Samuel, this really is for the best. I am sorry we couldn't help you like you needed us"

"i-I know I'm not the best at long range communication, but I'll go where ever you call Optimus.. I always will... "

"As I will, I would always do what you would do for me Samuel. But I see now I couldn't understand you"

"I hardly understand myself too haha...Bye Prime."

I don't think he could have said bye to Bumblebee, He tried to be strong though so much. But being such a mess, and feeling like he once again failed to be helpful to the cause, and almost damage their relations to humans. he couldn't face bee a final time goodbye

[wastemanjohn]

I want so bad to ask for more of the fic where it’s John in Hell and f!Sam and f!Dean but I CANT REMEMBER THE TITLE😭 (also you’re amazing for titling your fics before you finish them)

hehe I didn't include it bc while it IS a work it is not in progress 😇 i still think about it tho and i really hope to finish it someday. and all the titles are very much subject to change haha

i thiiink i shared an early version of this scene with you before? anyway it's the only one without big gaps so have it haha

The last thing John sees before he dies is his wife.

Mary looks exactly as when she left him, on the night she went upstairs for the last time; grubby maternity nightgown, barefoot young mother glow, blonde hair like a ratty, fitfully slept in halo. A middle America angel materializing from the flames. 

Flames. Feels like one hell of a cruel joke.

It would be the gentlemanly thing to do to get up and meet her. But John can’t feel his legs.

Maybe it’s not a good enough excuse. Maybe the last dregs of his energy are being spent on trying to inflate his lungs with some kind of consistency, only managing small gulps of air seething with ash and black smoke, his crushed ribs shoving it out again. He can feel the heat from the fire on his face. See the hollow frame of the window he just plummetted through, three storeys above office block, bordered with the remains of shattered glass. It’s in his hair, his clothes. He lies on the sidewalk in a blanket of his own blood, gushing from the holes in his gut made by his own knife. From god knows where else.

But it’s okay, because Mary’s coming towards him. Out of that burning office block, untouched by broken glass, and when she drops to her knees beside him, she’s smiling. Smiling the way she used to smile, before the girls were born, before John had to work so much to keep everyone fed and clothed, before she got all disillusioned and he got all mean, before they had to tread so carefully around the cracks in their foundation. And Mary drops to her knees beside him, giving him that beautiful smile, that uncomplicated smile, like she’s just pleased he exists; that smile that was degrading in his memories like a nitrate print, never entirely captured in the photos stuffed in the back of his journal, the way photos are always just an impression, devoid of the live intricacies that make you love someone; and as Mary tilts her head and puts her hand with its pretty delicate fingers on his face, John knows this isn’t right. That whatever he’s feeling, it should be identifiable. More.

He’s very cold. His bones are cold. He feels a twitch in his throat, soundless attempt at a groan. The sidewalk feels like putty against his back.

Mary murmurs wordlessly. Soothing. Her hand comes down on his cheek, delicate, warm, the bump of her wedding ring. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here now.”

Her voice - god, so long since John has heard her voice, the lilt and cadence lost to time - 

“It’ll be good this time. Just you and me - it’ll be like it was in the beginning."

The beginning. The way the beginning always comes back.

“Just relax,” she says. “I’ve got you.”

She’s getting blurry. The fire rages on. And it’s everything John has wanted for sixteen years. To see her. Tell her how her little girls are grown, how they’re smart and brave and beautiful. Conversations he’s rehearsed in his head, kept in a vault for when he’ll need them again, for the afterlife he never really believed in; but when you’re lost, when you’re ripped torn up inside and you can never get what you want, you have to hold onto something. But now -

John draws in as much breath as he can. Uses it to tell his wife, “We really need to talk.”

Just saying it leaves him exhausted. He doesn’t think he ever said that to Mary.  Not the way she said it to him, when he’d be home long after the girls were in bed, working late or at the bar.

The way she stopped saying it eventually, the way she wouldn’t even look up when he came home, the way they became sexless roommates who quietly despised each other, tiptoeing around it with the mess of little girl toys on the floor.

Those memories don’t usually come easy to John. Funny how they do now. Of all fucking times.

Mary thumbs at his cheek. “We will talk,” she tells him, voice heavy like a promise. “We’ll have all the time we could ever need now. And I’ll tell you everything you could ever want to know.”

John can feel himself fading. How much is everything? 

The lick-hiss of the flames is meditative, kind of. Just five minutes ago, he thought he was hunting a simple spirit. It feels shitty and poetic, that this is going to be how it ends.

Anyway; not like there’s anything he can do about it. Nothing but watch Mary lay down next to him on the sidewalk, pressed into his flank, arm around his waist. His blood pressed into patches like paint on her nightgown. Covering her hand. She lays her head on his chest, ear to the heart that’s giving up the fight.

“I missed you,” she says. Lips soft against his ripped shirt. “Come with me, John. Come home.”

He can hear sirens. Hear them low and distant, like he made them up in his head. He’s very cold; but Mary feels warm and alive against him, and it’s all he’s wanted for sixteen years, and if this is how it ends then so be it.

“Come with me,” Mary says again. Tips of her hair stained with blood. “We’ve got all the time we could need. We’ll have eternity.”

It’s a good thing, John thinks, that they have eternity. He has a feeling they’re going to need it.

[ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty]

I cant stop thinking about the bmol experimenting with Sam and thanks to @trials-era-sam confirming our hc with Sam's addiction (thank you Jared!!) i just had to write this-

"Names Sam. All we need are names." Toni repeats, tapping her pen against her stupid little notebook.

Even if Sam wanted to, he can't give her want she wants. He doesn't really know that many hunters to begin with, let alone all the hunters in the whole of the united states. Who does she think he is?

She sighs dramatically and puts both her pen and book down on the old table next to her, uncrossing her legs and standing up, taking a few steps closer to Sam.

"Fine." She muttered, "we'll just move onto the next phase, since you're choosing to be difficult."

She starts fishing around in her blazer pocket, in search for something, and Sam can tell she found what she was looking for when a small smile pulls against her lips and she slowly withdraws her hand out, holding what looks to be a small vial?

Sam tilts his head to try and get a better look at it. Is it another drug to induce hallucinations? A truth serum? Who knows what they've invented over across the Atlantic.

Toni scoffs at the confusion displayed on Sam's face, and holds out the vial for him to see, holding it up triumphantly as if she won a race or something.

The first thing he notices is how red it is. He stares for a few more seconds until he realizes, and he can practically feel all the air leaving his lungs.

They've been keeping tabs on him for a good 12 years, they know pretty much everything about him. He doesn't know why this didn't occur to him sooner.

"No." He practically hisses at her, his mind flooding with the pain of detox already. Although he doubts he will ever make it out of here, and hes kind of already given up trying to escape. Whats the point? Dean is dead, Cas will be fine without him. Lucifer is out there roaming free, theres nothing for him anymore.

He's completely content with these british people keeping him here.

But eventually he'll have to detox, he always does.

He can feel his heart starting to pick up pace.

The first detox was bad enough, but he can start to feel the panic raising at the thought of having to live through that now, what horrors would haunt him in his...less than stable state.

He doesn't know what he'd do if he has to see Lucifer or the cage again.

What atrocities would his mind conjure up this time?

He finds his mind rushing back to all the less than pleasant experiences in his life. How it felt to have an archangel inside of him. He thinks that’s why he didn’t realize Gadreel was in him for so long. In comparison to the searing pain of the literal devil in his body, some run of the mill angel was like a tick. Hardly worth his attention.

Toni clearing her throat snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her again, and couldn't hide the fact that his hands were shaking.

"Sam," she began "you have made less than ideal choices in your life." A pointed glance towards him. "But, that doesn't mean you still can't be utilised. We as men of letters firmly believe in sufficiency, and your way of...terminating demons is much faster than any excorsim that we have on hand. Don't you think?"

Sam thinks that his heart is going to give out with how fast it is pumping. He can hear the blood rushing in his ears. The year of shame and regret with Ruby and all his mistakes crashing down on him.

"Please." He pleads, looking up at this awful woman through his wet hair. "You don't know what you're doing." He tries to reason with her, but with that glint in her eye, he knows shes not listening to a word he's saying.

"Cmon now Sammy, you can't tell me that you don't miss it." She exclaims, a soft undertone to her voice, as if shes trying to be understanding towards him. Sam scoffs.

And hangs his head in defeat.

They've burnt him, shot him, cut him up and probably broken a few ribs if his pain is any indication. He has no doubt that they will hesitate to do this to him too.

Hes just glad Dean won't be here to watch him turn into a monster again.

Everything Dean told him during that year comes rushing back as he clamps his mouth shut tight. He knows that this will happen to him with or without his consent, but he won't let it happen without a fight.

After all, she isn't Lucifer, he doesn't have to lay down and let her do whatever she wants to him. Hes allowed to fight back. And for Deans sake, he will try.

Toni notices Sams jaw muscles working, and sighs like a disapproving mother whose toddler just won't listen to her.

She roughly grabs Sams face and lifts his head up, making him look up at her.

And although his face is rock hard with determination, pure fear is flashing in his eyes.

He doesn't want to go back to that. To that feeling of desperately needing more and more.

Hes fought so hard against his addiction for so long now. Why is this happening? Chuck must think his life is a joke to do this to him.

But, he keeps his mouth closed tight as Toni tuts and pinches his nose closed, staring down at him patiently.

He hopes he's strong enough to let himself pass out before his mouth inevitably opens to let in air. At least then he could say he tried. But he knows the human body, he knows that when survival insticts kick in, he won't be able to fight it.

But he closes his eyes and tries to stay calm as toni pinches his nose tighter and grows more annoyed.

He starts to count.

Hes gotten to fifty seconds when his lungs really start to hurt.

67. His head has started to spin.

89. His teeth hurt from how hard he's clenching them.

92. He can feel the presence of the vial hanging above him like a carrot on a string. Patiently waiting for his mouth to open like they both know it will.

107. There are spots dancing behind his eyelids. He knows his body will betray him soon.

He lets out a silent prayer at second 115. Begging for someone to help him.

He wonders if Lucifer can hear him.

121. He gasps.

Before he can even suck in some precious air, the vial is being shoved in his mouth, and the metallic taste of blood on his tounge is the only thing his senses can focus on.

Its okay. Dont panic. He just has to spit it out like he did before. No biggie.

He ignores the way his body yearns for it. To swallow it. He ignores how his muscles are remembering how powerful they used to feel. He ignores how his throat is trying to gulp it down, actively working against the only rational part of Sam's brain.

The smell is overwhelming. The taste practically irresistible.

He doesnt have to swallow it. He doesn't have to let her win. He doesn't.

He goes to spit it out. Toni sees. She acts quicker than Sam can even realise.

She's pinching his nose again and roughly keeping her other hand over his mouth. Making sure that he can't possibly spit it out and cutting off all access to air.

Meaning he'll need to swallow it to be able to gasp for air.

He looks up at her with tears in his eyes. His head starting to spin again from lack of oxygen. He shakes his head softly, once again begging her not to do this to him, even though he knows this grovelling will get him nowhere.

She looks down at him with no emotion in her eyes. Even the smile on her face has faded. She just seems a bit bothered now. As if Sams resistance is just a small inconvenience to her.

He'll have to swallow soon. She knows it. They both know it.

Eventually Sam finds his throat working against him and swallowing down the sweet sweet blood.

As it goes down, he gasps out and Toni removes her hand. A satisfied smile on her face.

Sam, on the other hand though, couldn't be more disgusted with himself.

He would start crying if there was any liquid left in his body. He can already feel it. Feel the power thruming through his veins. He can feel his body yearning for more already, protesting that it wasnt enough.

He starts to shake. Silently sob. He cannot believe that this is happening to him again. That he has to go through this again, and all for what? Because some british people want to study him to see how he works and then do who knows what with him?

He starts sweating. Even that tiny amount enough to bring back a pretty severe addiction.

Toni sits back down looking smug. "How do you feel, Sam?"

He glares at her, although how effective it is with his shaking chin and dried tear streaks on his cheeks, he doesn't know.

"Alright." Toni nods at him and starts to make her way back up the stairs.

Sam starts to freak out, but refuses to show it. Not at least until she leaves the basement.

Theyre leaving him here. For how long? Are they going to make him go through detox now? Study his symptoms? Wait for him to start begging them for some more? Maybe, if Sams lucky enough, it wont be that bad, since it was only one small vial.

But he can already feel it. The way his head feels like it's getting squashed between two rocks, the way his stomach is rolling like he's about to vomit, the way his limbs are shaking quite violently.

Sam is never lucky. And this is going to hit him hard.

He hopes it doesnt get so bad that he starts begging for more blood. He'd never forgive himself if he fell that far.

He wishes Dean were still alive.