#like i cant tell if my hyperfixation is fading or if im really just out of things to say without just making the same post over and over

[elisedonut]

Thinking about Percy again

specifically thinking again about how private he is and what kinds of situations that would cause post war

like you know he's not going to tell the rest of the family much of anything about his life during the war like that's not a new thought by any means

but you know if others in the family do figure it out that they'd be upset he didn't tell them

even more so depending on what you personally think he went through/did

on a less negative note the idea of him not telling the family he's seeing someone until like a week before getting engaged is always hilarious to me even though realistically that would piss off the rest of the family so much

"He didn't trust us enough to even tell us?" type vibes

[radioactive-mouse]

MY PERSONAL TAKES ON YOGS TMA ALIGNMENTS BECAUSE THEYRE MY HYPERFIXATIONS AND I SAY SO

Xephos: Eye Aligned / Vast Fear Meal

ok this one’s funky because like, as much as I love him pretty much all of xeph’s worst instincts can be traced back to beholding. he constantly needs to know and understand in order to feel in control, even when that knowledge comes at the cost of his own or someone else’s well-being. he doesn’t know when to stop asking questions, doesn’t know how to walk away, and even in his better moments he gets very fussy and needs to know what’s going on with everyone around him or he might combust. he’d also be a real scrumptious meal for the vast because not only did he, yknow, crash from space which he for sure has trauma from and then proceed to fail three fucking moon landings, he also just hates the concept of his own insignificance, hates the idea that he can’t control some things, and he gets so pressed about it that he does evil fucked up science to cope.

Honeydew: Buried Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

this is really self explanatory to be honest. diggy diggy hole he is digging a hole, also the closest i could think of for what entity would want to eat him is the eye but that doesn’t feel terribly accurate? honeydew is literally just vibing too much for cosmic horrors to get their hands on him

Lalna: Eye Aligned / Stranger Fear Meal

yeah, this one is. yeah. obvious enough. this is just a general rule for most lalnas with a few exceptions. lalna is really interested in obtaining knowledge but not so much using it to actually help anyone around him at least until Nano shows up and makes him stop being a bit of a prick and he like, for sure has some desolation tendencies in there somewhere. stranger-wise the clones kind of speak for themselves, lalna hates the idea that someone else could swap in and replace him at any moment, and really hates the amount of people running around with his face. also quick shout out to lalnable and eternal lalna’s flesh and slaughter alignments on top of all this. 

Rythian: Lonely Aligned / Slaughter Fear Meal

rythian’s real fuckin depressed. like, he for sure has some of his own desolation tendencies as well, but ultimately that stems from the fact that when he doesn’t have other people to keep him grounded he starts flailing for stability and even further back he spent his entire childhood unable to connect with anyone, find anyone that looked like him and that’s Why He Is The Way That He Is. i don’t doubt that both the slaughter and the desolation would get a pretty good snack out of him, because he has tendencies towards both but ultimately he’s scared that the people he cares about are going to get hurt and he wants to keep them safe. 

Zoey: Corruption Aligned / Slaughter Fear Meal

mushrooms! zoey needs to be surrounded by life and other people who care about her to be able to function. she’s also touched a little bit by the web like, in the way that martin seems to be? she doesn’t like it but she did play the red and brown mushrooms off each other, she’s not going to use it to hurt people but zoey is somehow the best and worst liar on the planet. she’s a slaughter/desolation fear meal in the same sense as rythian but like, 100 times more, she’s very set on being nonviolent and just wants to vibe with the people she loves without anyone messing with them. 

Sjin: Web Aligned / Hunt Fear Meal

sjin is a manipulative little bastard sometimes! everyone (including me) seems to forget about that one arc of jaffa factory where sjin’s like,,,, been puppeting a talking head?? to tell sips what to do???? which was fuckin weird but anyway thats most of my reasoning here tbh. in the same vein as that sjin absolutely hates any kind of comeuppance for his actions and is the most avoidant dude on the planet, anyone coming after him specifically scares the shit out of him.

Sips: Buried Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

ok i promise i have more reasoning other than Dirt Man but its via like,, a weirdly specific sips backstory that im not getting into and i cant think of anything that would particularly want to eat him im sorry king i did you dirty

Nano: Corruption Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

nano is TEXTBOOK corruption. she wants love! so bad! she’s literally being corrupted because mother offers her the first familial relationship she’s ever had in her life! she wants to be fully consumed by what loves her!!! i can’t think of any entity specifically that would want to eat her 

Parvis: Slaughter Aligned / Lonely Fear Meal

again parvis is TEXTBOOK slaughter. he doesn’t care where he directs it, but he needs violence to make himself feel powerful, he needs to be in control of something and the best way to do that is to prove you can choose when someone lives or dies. but more than parvis needs to be in control he needs to be feared, he needs someone to see him, and the lonely’s brand of fading into obscurity would fuck him up big time.

Strife: UHHHHHHHHH Aligned / End Fear Meal

okay the thing is. if we’re talking an actual tma AU? i’m of the opinion that strife stays stubbornly unaligned gerry-style no matter how many entities make grabby hands at him. but listen, strife rolls up and the extinction, the desolation, the lonely and the eye all get into a knife fight over who gets custody of this bitch ass business boy. but strife would absolutely fear the end, the one thing no amount of money or power is going to let him outrun is death, dude’s got some real issues with mortality and it shows. 

[sociallyawkward--fics]

heyy xy its been a while again idk how long i wanted to send smth earlier but my brain wouldnt let me so:// im kinda Going Through It rn tho& surprise its abt my romanticality again but this time it has nothing to do w a crush. its ,, i was wondering how romantic attraction felt so i did a question thread on twitter but the answers ,, were all stuff ive felt ?? &i think maybe ive been thinking of romantic attraction wrong this whole time but ?? how do i know ?? -H (it is. frustrating)

its like ,, i love the idea of cuddling& holding hands& hugging& yes that could be platonic but ,, ive never kissed anyone but i think it could be smth i enjoy& maybe even smth i want but it wasnt ever anything i thought abt until now ,, recently ive kinda been wanting to date someone nonromantically ?? but how do i tell if the way i want it is romantically or not ?? romantic attraction is just a thing u feel right u dont get to decide whether or not its romantic attraction it just is right?? -H

&i have gotten my own version of crushes but its always ,, i just rly want to be their friend or in extreme cases just ,, like me the way i like them, like liking me best ig ?? but maybe i have wanted to date them& just didnt realize it ?? when i get crushes i think of them a lot& want to be around them& i get butterflies& all the things ppl say they get with romantic attraction. but then ill ask myself if its romantic& i just feel like No. It's not ??? -H

romantic attraction always just felt so ,, other ?? so even now that i realize what i want is what ppl who feel romantic attraction want it just doesnt feel right ?? ive never kissed anyone& ive never dated& maybe if i did those things id know ?? &sometimes ill wish i had a partner but like in a queerplatonic way i think ?? i just want to do traditionally romantic stuff but ,, without it being romantic ?? but thats not how it works is it ?? -H

like if u feel& want all the things that comes with romantic attraction then that means u experience them romantically ?? maybe ?? i cant wrap my head around wanting all those things but not romantically ?? bc romantic attraction is defined as wanting things like dating& kissing& cuddling - not some other alien feeling i thought so ?? maybe im greyromantic or lithromatic or bellusromantic but ?? how do i know ?? -H

maybe im just too young to completely know how i feel ?? maybe if i dated someone or kissed them id know ?? &i kinda rly want to do those things just to know how id feel bc im tired of not knowing im already confused abt my gender identity if i dont know my romanticality what do i know ?? -H

lmao so im over my crisis nvm -H

i dont remember exactly what i was saying but theres a difference between wanting those things& like ,, wanting them from a person yknow maybe i want to be kissed but only theoretically bc who do i want to kiss me then ?? any strong feelings usually fade when i get to know the person so. also apparently romantic attraction is Not just wanting those things apparently theres supposed to be a feeling that comes with it idk -H

help i found u on tiktok while looking through aroace tiktoks skjdjk i saw u& i was like xy ?!?!! u exist in places outside of tumblr ?!?!??! unbelievable -H

i saw ur undertale hcs tiktok& i highkey panicked bc ive been hyperfixating on undertale for like ,, a month now, so it was my 2 favorite things : aspec hcs& undertale. personally i see papyrus as aroace bc of his whole speech after ur date with him& its like ,, a v v important hc to me bc hes the only character ive ever felt i had representation in sjdhfks idk hes like my comfort character now -H 

aahhh but yea ive been hyperfixating on undertale so badly but :/ we lost our switch :/ so i couldnt play :/// i had to resort to watching playthroughs on yt. i have watched dan& phils playthrough 3 times& i am going on a 4th. luckily we did find our switch !! &i cant wait until i get papyrus' phone number so i can go through every room& call him& then befriend undyne& go through all the rooms& call him again to see if the responses have changed -H

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I’m So Sorry it took me literally like 2 months to answer these, I promise i wasn’t ignoring you, I just have Stupid Brain!!

Imma be honest with you, romantic attraction is so confusing, and I can’t say I understand it myself. Also, that’s totally how it works. You can do romantically-coded actions with a queerplatonic partner and not have it be romantic at all. Sure, kissing and dating and cuddling are romantically-coded, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship to do them; doing those things in a queerplatonic sense and not having any romantic emotions in it is totally valid. You can want all these things and still not have/experience romantic attraction. Take all the time you need to figure it out, though. I may tell everyone I’m grayro, but for sure that does not mean that I have it all figured out. I just say that because it’s the closest to whatever confusing feelings I’ve had lol. It takes time to work these things out, just do what feels right for you. You don’t need to force yourself into a romantic situation just to try and see if you’re aro. Honestly, to me? Nothing you’ve described seems inherently romantic. That all seems like it’s queerplatonic or just platonic.

Lol, yes I exist in places outside of tumblr on occasion. Tbh, since we all know I have no time-management skills, tiktok is a little bit why I’ve been so absent around here lately lol. I was focusing a lot on building my account and content there, but I really miss everyone over here and i miss writing my fanfics so I am Back and I’m gonna try and split my time better, now! Undertale is such a valid thing to fixate on, and Paps is such a valid comfort character. Aroace Paps is so valid, I only said grayroace Paps because 1) brain said “make him you” lol and 2) sometimes I think Papyrus/Mettaton can be cute if done right. And yeah, it’s so fun going through the rooms and just calling them lol

[paig]

Album Analysis: Neotheater

neotheater is possibly one of my favorite albums of all time. i love the way the album opens and closes, it really reminds me of a show and almost like an overture while also being a unique song. the sentimental value each song obviously holds made me want to cry and smile at the same time. in my opinion, the click’s theme or message was about balancing what you want to be and what other people want you to be, and i think that this album is about the ‘human experience’ and things everyone goes through but never talks about (like the Peter Pan factor, which is explained later). I loved the messages of 100 Bad Days and Birthday Party when they dropped, and Dear Winter brought me to tears.

But it’s always better to go in order, so starting from the beginning, Next Up Forever: wanting to never actually peak because then it means you’re never going to be better/or as good as you were at one point or another. this song also pushes into motion the Peter Pan factor that reoccurs throughout the album, not wanting to grow up. but then the flip side shown in the song is not wanting to be left behind. “I know i have to grow up sometime, but i don’t think im ready yet” is the line that really drove it home for me. This song is also musically beautiful and i love love LOVE the chorus.

Next, Birthday Party: Firstly, i love the transition between the songs. i also love the little “wow”s! This song also captures the ‘human experience’ in my opinion because it mentions thoughts everyone has, but doesn’t ever really say out loud (with a few exceptions). Not to mention the upbeat music that for me represented the outlook that the song has, even if it is in a sarcastic way.

My personal favorite to get hype to, 100 Bad Days: this one i feel contributes the most to the theme of ‘the human experience’. the song is about surviving what hurts, and becoming more interesting because of it. it also talks about coping with failure and everything going wrong, which is something that everyone ever can relate to. “i aint scared of you no more” is such a powerful line, saying ‘hey yknow what? im not going to let this keep me down’ which is also something everyone can relate to. This song holds a special place in my heart because it has helped me through a lot even though it hasn’t been out for very long.

Don’t Throw Out My Legos: holy. crap. i heard this song first when i listened to clips from people on The Click tour, but hearing it produced and really complete is an entirely different experience. This song contributes to ‘the human experience’ because it’s about being stuck in this feedback loop of having to let go but not being able to. it also represents a first step to me, because moving out but not moving on is the first step towards being really independent. this song may have the most peter pan feel to it of all!

Break My Face: the way this song starts is my favorite thing ever omg. this song is kinda like realism, cause it gives the pros and cons to every situation in an unbiased way, but also makes a little joke out of it. human experience shows in this one through how it almost sounds tired of life’s crap. “life gives you lemons, at least it gave you something” is an iconic line, and the little callback to Birthday Party with “everything is going great” is super sneaky cause it sounds perfect.

Turning Out Pt.ii: wow. this song is really raw, and it honestly makes me feel so aware of everything. the universal shared experience of being in love with the idea of someone is already near heartbreaking, but then the way it is compared to growing up and, well, turning out and loving how you turn out really drives it home. not being able to actually tell someone and instead having to indirectly imply it is also something people can relate to.

The Entertainment’s Here: if someone were to ask me what song i feel embodies who i am, it would be this song. the alarm part really called me out to be honest. being someone who hyperfixates on things alot, this song is about being bored and starting to think about things way too much and getting bored but then content (in this case, entertainment) is available and i use it as a distraction. “you don’t even gotta use your brain from here” is the most hard hitting line for me. this song embodies the human experience, because it’s about needing to be distracted constantly which is how life is now.

Karma: This song is just.... beautiful. i love how the song is from the point of view of someone at a therapy appointment, because that is something alot of people will be able to latch on to and feel really close to home. another thing people will relate to is doing your best for as long as you can, but not getting any good karma in return and getting gradually frustrated. The callback to 100 Bad Days really hit hard, because it ties the songs together. One, about pushing through everything life throws at you, and the other, about being wound so tightly and straining from said pushing through and never getting a break. The outro of the song is another thing that is going to resonate with so many people. “the universe works in mysterious ways but im starting to think its not working for me” is the summary of it.

Beats: This song reminds me of Im Not Famous, cause it’s about the moral argument of selling out/not selling out. this song is very human to me because it has the recurring theme of being afraid of being forgotten/left behind/fading away. It also gives me Come Hang Out vibes cause of the end.

Wow, Im Not Crazy: This is another song that i think its the epitome of the ‘human experience’ because hearing someone else confirm that youre not alone in something you think is weird about yourself is such an amazing feeling that i feel was captured perfectly in this song. the tone is perfectly reflective of the feeling you get when you hear someone say something you’ve been thinking about forever.

Dear Winter: I have almost no words for this song. The first time i heard this song, i was having a really bad day, some of friends were out together without me, but i watched the video and listened to the song on repeat and things were a little better. The idea of planning your life and skipping over certain parts you can’t actually plan is so relatable, and i think that it says alot about us as humans. It’s in our heads from the beginning that we have to have a plan and we have to know what to do, but sometimes thats impossible and we can’t, so we don’t, and we hope instead. and i think this song reflects that beautifully.

Finale (I Cant Wait To See What You Do Next): The way this song echoes the first track but is still it’s own song is so beautiful. I also love how both songs are reminiscent of old movies or old shows that you would go and see in a theater, but theyre still new (hence neotheater!!!) “They wanted heaven from me, i gave them hell” is so powerful on it’s own, because it is about expectations piling up and just exploding and throwing them off. this song really does a good job of communicating that message. There’s also that little feeling of being behind and overwhelmed after such intense expectations that the song does a perfect job of putting into words and music. It also brings a little of the Peter Pan factor back, talking about not wanting to be forgotten or left behind. being welcomed to the neotheater at the beginning and the end was my favorite little detail in this album.

Overall, this album is an emotional rollercoaster. there are songs that make you think “hey, how did you get into my head?” Theres songs that you listen to get pumped up, songs you listen to to cry, songs you listen to to smile, and much much more inbetween. Overall, this album is about the Human Experience and the things we don’t talk about but always think. Congratulations on your bit of success! welcome to the neotheater, we can’t wait to see what you do next.