#like i am just so immediately fascinated by their differing views of the force
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marda and kevmo's first meeting was just about one of my favorite things that i've read so far in all the high republic books
#like her horror at him using the force as a tool hhhoooooo boy!!!!!!#like i am just so immediately fascinated by their differing views of the force#current prediction is that this will not end well for kevmo..... i don't know HOW.. but i fear for him already lol#but yeah with their meeting. like them immediately being drawn to each other#to marda (not violently but harshly. abrasively) rejecting him#she wasn't ACTUALLY super mean or harsh in her outward demeanor#but INTERNALLY her own feelings were so immediately horrified repulsed etc#idk if i'm explaining this well#but the switch from the gravitational almost peaceful first look to the abrupt like reverse magnetism after she sees him use the force#it was just really really cool to read#marda ro#kevmo zink#path of deceit#the high republic#mik reads the high republic
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Something I find interesting when viewing the two recent Dune movies as a whole is that initially, Paul is more than willing to use the prophecy and his visions for his own gain to convince Liet to help them, while Jessica whispers "careful!" at his side, and she later recommends they leave the planet entirely. But Paul decides they'll stay with the Fremen. Even at the beginning of Part 2, Paul is like "fuck yeah let's wage war on the Harkonnen" and Jessica is again counseling caution: "your father didn't believe in revenge." She goes through the Water of Life ceremony not because she wants to help Paul fulfill the prophecy but because she's forced to: do this or die. And even then, the old Reverend Mother had to use the Voice on her to get Jessica to drink.
That all changes when Jessica nearly dies during the ceremony. After that, Paul becomes more wary of embracing the prophecy, and she just throws herself into it. Paul nearly loses his mother (and his unborn sister) to a painful, agonizing poison - mere hours/days after losing his father and all their friends/allies to the Harkonnen slaughter - and decides it's not worth it. Meanwhile, Jessica gets a direct download of memories of millennia of oppression and goes "yeah let's burn everything to the ground."
It's an interesting, quick reversal at the beginning of the second movie, and it's great.
Ooh thank you for this great ask. I can always count on you for smart and thoughtful Jessica takes!
You make a really good observation about their reversal of positions--I had been struggling to figure out how Paul's line about "I must sway the non-believers" fit into his overall arc, but you are absolutely right that this feels like a continuation of how he talks to Liet. We're seeing the first stirrings of that little "maybe I am special" thought that later takes center stage.
For most of Part Two, Paul has several reliable counterweights pulling against that streak of arrogance and high-handedness that he's had from the beginning. Jessica almost dies drinking the Water of Life, which, like you point out, has got to make him think twice about encouraging people to believe in the prophecy. Then, he spends most of the movie surrounded by Chani and her friends and comrades, who seem the most skeptical of the prophecy and also aren't going to give his ego the time of day. And at the same time, he has an opportunity to pour his desire for revenge into collective political action that seems to be making a difference.
It's only when those countervailing forces start collapsing (the people who had started out as his equals are now becoming his followers; the Harkonnens attack Sietch Tabr and other civilian population centers, proving they are far from militarily defeated; Gurney shows up and immediately offers what seems like an easy solution to their problems that only Paul can access) that the little maybe I am special voice starts winning again.
As for Jessica, her journey doesn't get as much focus in the movie but it's also fascinating. She's a great character because she is so fucking smart at navigating power structures from what seems like an unenviable position. Did she have any choice about being sent to Caladan to become Leto's concubine? I am guessing she did not. But she sure figured out how to work that situation to her advantage. It happened that along the way she and Leto came to genuinely love and respect each other. But I'm sure she would still have figured out an angle even if that had not been the case.
In Part Two she starts out in a frankly quite terrifying position: she can undergo this unknown, dangerous ritual or die, and also possibly put Paul's safety at risk by raising doubt about whether he is the Lisan al-Gaib. But after she survives the Water of Life, she is launched into a powerful position in Fremen society and pretty quickly realizes she can use that to both protect Paul and get her revenge on the people who tried to kill her whole family. And unlike Paul, she is much more cognizant of the intergalactic power structures at work and aware that the Harkonnens themselves were a pawn in all this, so her target is the Bene Gesserit and the emperor.
I would have loved more time to explore Jessica's relationship to Fremen society and her POV in general. Because in some ways she becomes as Fremen as it's possible for her to be--she has access to thousands of years of memories of Fremen history and culture and politics; she becomes instantly fluent in the language and she is immersed in Fremen daily life in the sietch. (If there's one single thing I wanted more of, it was daily life in the sietch.) But she's still the same person she was, so she hasn't lost that ability to be ruthless and calculating and see people as forces to be manipulated. In Part One, her love for Paul and Leto provided an interesting counterweight to this that allowed us to see some moments of vulnerability from her (ie. she knows Paul has to undergo the Gom Jabbar test but she's terrified for him while it's happening). In Part Two she is so isolated for most of the movie (away from Paul; surrounded by followers who were never friends; I think we can all agree that talking to your unborn fetus doesn't really count) that we don't get a lot of these more unguarded moments from her. (I would have loved some Jessica/Stilgar action and it seems like the potential was very much set up for that, but I understand why they didn't have time.)
But in general I thought they did a great job of setting up this contradictory tension between Jessica and Paul, where they both want so desperately to protect each other and they both want revenge, but the way they each go about it ends up putting them in direct conflict with each other.
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A Revali Fanfic Recommendation
I urge you all to put your life on hold for a moment and go read this brilliant fanfiction:
A hundred years after the fall of Hyrule to Calamity Ganon, and the hero Link has finally sealed the darkness and freed the Divine Beasts of their curse - and with it, their pilots are finally free. But not just as spirits. Awake once again, the four Champions of old have a second chance at life and must re-adjust to this future world with their decendants. Well - all except for one Champion, who doesn't have a decentant. Or even anyone left alive that knew him. Teba is happy to take in his revived ancient idol as one of his own, but sharing a living space with a hundred year old Champion with an ego the size of his divine beast and who might have some issues he's not willing to share can be a lot sometimes and they don't always see eye to eye. Revali thinks he should return to leading the new generation of Rito warriors. Teba thinks this actual child should never have been leading warriors or fighting a war in the first place. Tulin is just excited to have the infamous Rito Champion in his house.
Beautifully written and lovingly crafted, this baby can fit so much trauma and whump into the most gut-wrenching and heat-breakingly found family story you may ever read. 130,000 words, 36 chapters (and still regularly updating!), and a CRIMINALLY low number of kudos. If that doesn't sway you, here is some gushing under the cut <3
You think you've read a champions revival fic before? This will have you saying "how the FUCK have I not seen this before" and completely change the way you view everything (mild exaggeration. m i l d). We have all of your favourite revali tropes: being a dick and getting owned, being a dick and being right, getting own and never showing those feelings to the light of day, getting killed, getting unkilled and loved, showing emotions but being super weird and revali about it, bonding with tulin!!, bonding with teba and the rest of rito village, bonding with the champions, having panic attacks and trauma, vah medoh being the best ever, being a terrifying force of nature, being an idiot kid, and so much more!
Do you like grumpy dad teba? Do you like revali swallowing his pride? Do you like revali immediately spitting his pride back up and being a bitchy bird? Do you like mipha and revali as gossip buddies? Do you like the complete and utter fool revali makes of himself everytime he so much as hears the name link? Do you like people seeing right through his facade and calling him out on it?
AND NOT TO MENTION THE WORLD BUILDING??? this fic is so in depth of the political climates, racism, lore, changes in culture during times of war, colonisation, biology of the races and just fucking everything?? It adds so much life to the world of hyrule I am genuinely shocked at how much this person clearly loves these games (botw/totk/aoc) and they are able to incorporate all of this amazing information in a way that flows so naturally and just hhrnngngg I am fucking insane about it. THE SCIENCE, oh my god how did I forget all the wonderous thoughts surrounding the divine beasts and the sheikah tech, oh god and how they write the magic system? Guys I swear it's so good.
Characterisation is on point, everyone feels so full of life and that they are reacting exactly how you would expect them too, and they just seem so real, like they are right beside you as you're reading. The author does an IMMACULATE job of drawing you in and making you feel a part of the story, all the while being just beautifully written?
Don't get me started on the attention to rito culture. I have never seen someone pour so much love into something before, genuinely on of the greatest things I've seen. I've always had a fascination over how the races of hyrule view each other, similarities and differences, how their cultures and histories intertwine, and conflicts that may arise. But oh. my. god. My jaw was on the floor every time, it's so rich and beautiful but not without the horrors (and oh god, they are Horrors tm) and again it's just so real!!!
Be warned, however, that there is gore and viscera and terror and hurt and war crimes and death (duh), but for each terrible thing to happen it is repaid tenfold in love and kindness somewhere down the line. (Unless you are into hurt no comfort, then sorry buddy!) It is a beautiful narrative and the exploration of trauma and self is mind boggling and just go read it!!! 😭 😭 😭 I just love this fic so much, it has instantly sky-rocketed to one of my top 3 favourite fics I've ever read, and I'm so grateful to have found it and now be along for the ride that if I could bring that to one more person then by god I will fucking do it
#seriously guys PLEASE check it out the author deserves so much love (they got SHOT at one point during the writing lmao)#(accident with a crossbow and they are fine now dw!!)#anyway i just love this so fucking much i hope this finds the right people so they go fucking read it!!!#okay enough rambling time to tag... oh god#botw revali#revali botw#revali#champion revali#botw#breath of the wild#legend of zelda#loz botw#teba#teba botw#tulin#tulin botw#tulin totk#link botw#revalink#link x revali#zelda#zelda botw#urbosa#urbosa botw#daruk#daruk botw#mipha#mipha botw#fanfic rec#vah medoh
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Thoughts on Stephanie Brown, Crime & Community
A lot of the posts I’ve been reading lately about Bruce’s brutality towards low level criminals and whether Jason betraying his own community or not, the double standards and meta analysis has all been very interesting.
And it has also left me musing on Stephanie Brown’s character.
Specifically how she operates in a really fascinating position that was likely not intended by the writers but one can reach anyway.
So a quick primer:
Stephanie Brown came up in a low income (at best) family in Gotham. Her father was consistently in and out of prison only briefly holding down a steady job and when he was home he was violent towards both Stephanie and her mother.
Crystal was neglectful and a substance abusing addict until Stephanie was about 15 and even then their relationship was quite messy with Stephanie still forced into a parental role.
(She also escaped sexual assault as a child and was clearly traumatized by the event and given her ‘boyfriend’ who got her pregnant looed significantly older than her one could argue she was a victim of grooming.)
Her first team up with Batgirl (long before she receives any training) Shows she has an intimate and immediate understanding of criminal operations that can only come from either self study or experience. One of her earlier team ups with Robin & the then Green Arrow (Investigating gun runners selling to kids) had her note she felt her community was neglected by the heroes. Her first team up with Batgirl also had them basically steal money that would have gone to evidence to donate it to charity and she also reveal hinted at different times a dislike or lack of faith in the police.
Now, not everything was hunky dory, as there were some writers who basically decided her motive was “Impress Robin”. Fortunately this only cropped up every now and again and she’d often try and seek out team ups and mentors elsewhere. And given it doesn’t line up well with her initial character I am content to view it as an artifact of the writer.
But I digress, how does this go into her relationship with her community and criminals in general?
Well, suffice to say her relationship with them is bad.
Her first time out as Spoiler she tries to murder her father and has to be talked down by Batman. She later reveals to Crystal she was doing this to protect her because she was tired of seeing Arthur come back and ruin their lives over and over again. She also used visitation rights when he was in prison to beat the hell out of him because he orchestrated her kidnapping and near missed murder for money, while the guards just let it happen.
In one of her first team ups with Robin they fight criminals in a snow covered building and his cutting of support beams leads them all to be buries. Robin insists on finding him and saving him, while Stephanie suggests leaving him to die, dismissing his motives along the lines of, “I was poor, daddy never loved me, ETC.” She only agreed trying to save him was a good idea when they accidently found a homeless woman and her child also buried.
later on she also didn’t want to save a villain who managed to kidnap both herself and Robin. We also see her shrug off the prospect of accidentally killing a serial killer she was in combat with. She also has a violent exchange with Penguin after he started using children as gun runners which hinted at wanting to wipe people like him off the map. When he was dismissive of even facing charges because “I've got people for that” she legit scared and injured him and Batgirl needed to stop her from going further.
(She also shrugged off Dick killing Joker while everyone else was freaking out but like, come on. Joker fills literal graveyards in universe and had been terrorizing the world minutes before, he’s not a ‘normal criminals’ by any stretch.)
Overall, her relationship to criminals in general was varying degree of contemptuous and she was quite comfortable with the prospect of doling out lethal punishment to criminals, though she never got the on screen opportunity. I think her general attitude is best summed up as “yes trauma sucks but its no excuse to take it out on your community” while holding those who profit off those circumstances in utter contempt. IE, she disdains petty criminals for victimizing their fellows and she hates the kingpins who run everything.
(Though I doubt this was intended by the writers.)
But I digress, I’m not expert enough to say whether this is a realistic or positive response to her circumstances, but I do find it an interesting one. I also think its a lot more nuanced than Batman’s brutality even if one could argue its problematic. Though that also broached the “Are we discussing in universe or out of universe” and so on. Really not sure where I was going with this. I maybe just wanted the chance to discuss Stephanie cos I think she’s really interesting.
So uh, yeah.
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Something shifted
When you're realistic with yourself, you tend to separate women you find attractive into two groups, aiming for modesty. In my league and out of my league.
Many pretty women are of course out of my league. The types of girls you see online, are often out of my league, and many in real life as well. I'm a regular white guy, and I try to nip ego in the bud when I can.
With the rise of hip hop, R&B, the general Africanization of pop culture, and interracial pornography, this new fascination with BMWF couples initially had little effect on me because simply put, the girls in these arenas are WAY out of my league. Girls like that preferring black men has essentially no impact on me. That's how I felt initially anyways.
However, there has been a trickle down effect, as is true with all trends. As this kind of content gains traction, and as mainstream media also pushes this particular pairing, and as women gain more and more independence, empowerment, and proudly state their sexual taste, more and more girls are getting curious, or at least simply open to the idea of a black partner, whether its for a night or for life. I personally think it's great that people are figuring more out about themselves and exploring all options, especially ones that were previously off limits.
I think these seeds are planted initially in women with generally good self esteem. Girls who know they're hot and are having fun with it. However, as women encourage each other to try things out, and more and more, porn just means interracial porn, even more average girls are flirting with the idea of hooking up with black men. Its been a slow progression but over the past 5 years I've seen BMWF couples go from 9/10s, to 8/10s, to 7, to 6 to 5 to 4s… You get the picture. As this trend takes off and truly permeates itself into our pop culture, I see more and more women, extremely normal women, having a preference or inclination towards black men. Even outside of white women, Asian women from Japan, South Korea, and China are exploring this with increasing popularity (sorry white dude, I know Asian girls were your weird little back up plan but things are moving fast and you can't keep up)
This of course is ok! Everyone has preferences, and nobody is entitled to someone's companionship. However, it has also led to a massive decline in my matches on dating apps and the little success I ever had with girls in real life has vanished.
In fact I would make the claim that in casual interactions, a lot of girls treat me a bit differently nowadays. Still polite, but small talk is ended essentially immediately. I am no longer humored and thus my opportunities to turn a conversation into something more have vanished.
The little conversations I could previously start with women, I now see black men starting effortlessly while these same women talk to me like I'm a cashier at their local grocery store.
By default, there is an extreme disinterest towards me now that did not exist for most of my life.
So I find myself in an interesting position. The girls who used to be "in my league" have upgraded, which I guess means girls in general have upgraded their "league".
I find myself not just in a lower league though, but not in a league at all. I've been forced into retirement, quite early might I add.
Now this doesn't mean white guys don't get laid anymore. That's a delusional point of view usually just for fueling fetish material, but SOME types of white guys have absolutely been cycled out at least from casual hookups.
On the flip side, black men who I would measure to be roughly in the same league as me, are absolutely killing it. Not just on dating apps but openly in public, and on social media. A black man I would equate to myself is at times thirsted after by many different types of women. I know this probably sounds like I inflate my own score but I assure you I am trying my hardest to be realistic and modest (and frankly I'm quite insecure anyways).
Fact of the matter is, we previously lived in a world where white guys were given bonus points for simply existing and that's being corrected a bit.
Some white guys were scoring goals because the goalie literally didn't know how to block and now women everywhere have gone to training camp and learned on a professional level.
I am not angry about this, and I prefer not to wallow. If women have decided universally that I no longer should have intimate relationships, I of course accept this outcome. Entitlement is foolish, and frankly I don't blame them. In fact I think it's quite a good thing! If women can decide to filter men like me out, and they've successfully done so, then it sounds like we're making some great progress for Women. People like me are no longer getting women purely out of resource hoarding or fear. I would argue a decent amount of the population only bred through misogyny and oppression and the result are guys like me, who in a natural world would frankly not exist. However, I am here, for many more decades hopefully, and I don't just cease to exist just because I no longer exist in the lives of women. I will most likely not pass my genes on (for the best probably lol) but I'll be kicking around for a bit.
In a future post I will discuss how to exist in this state, or better put:
What do you do when you no longer have a league?
#cultural africanization#white women evolving#bnwo propaganda#say no to white bois#bbc interracial#africanization
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Apothecary Diaries / Kusuriya no Hitorigoto General Impressions
Man, this anime has changed my life. I'm obsessed. Maomao my beloved, Jinshi is ironically but secretly somewhat of a sad little meow meow (badumptss), Gaoshun is my life, and Ace representation? In my anime? More likely than you think.
I somehow missed all of the fanfare about the manga! But even living in Japan, I think it was flying under the radar until the anime got announced, and then it had to compete with advertising for Oshi no Ko and the return of Spy x Family. However I can confirm that it is now sweeping the elementary school students in Japan which is A Big Deal.
I'm going to do a general overall SQUEE here about the show, and then hopefully do individual posts about the first 12 episodes later. Probably once I finish the second half of season 1 with my Capybara, because I WILL force us to go back and do a re-watch (I'm already re-watching it without subtitles to force my Beetle to watch it with me).
I'm also forcing myself to NOT read ahead in either of the mangas nor the light novel, both so that the mystery of what come next remains magical, and so that I don't burn myself out on it and instead milk it for all it's worth.
I am also spoiler avoidant for this unless I go looking for them myself, so this should be safe for anime-only peeps who are caught up on the first half. This is just my general impressions so far!
Going into this, I was expecting another Raven of the Inner Palace, but was worried it wouldn't be as good, and was still missing my lovely little Raven and her friends. I've seen my fair share of Chinese and Korean historical dramas that I enjoyed, but was worried this would be another Shojo, a genre I don't often like.
The PVs didn't do a lot to dispel this worry, but I assume this was simply because I had never read the manga. (I wonder what the initial impact would have changed had I done so.) It's been a while so I can't really pinpoint exactly what made me have doubts outside of simply wanting a second season of Raven Palace.
The first few episodes were a whirlwind of world building and set up, and mystery, and they dragged me fully into the world of high ranking courtesans and harems.
I immediately fell in love with Maomao's deadpan delivery, manical obsession with poisons, complete nonchalance with the sex industry and harem activities, and absolute lack of interest in Jinshi while still being able to appreciate how dangerously beautiful he is.
I fell in love with Jinshi's idiocy, the level of uke vibes he gives off, his knowledge of and use of his beauty as a weapon and tool while still giving off hints of not necessarily enjoying the attention, and felt like I was riding along with him in his fascination with MaoMao.
Gaoshun is a DELIGHT. I always love the exasperated assistant to the rambunctious Male Lead, and the nickname Xiaomao is SO CUTE AHHHHH. This happened in Raven Palace too, where the two eunuch assitants/spies were my favorite (but they were also crow shipping bait). Gaoshun is just a delightful 'old' man who needs a break and deserves one. I want to be Gaoshun.
The Ace/Aro vibes are also STRONG in this show, and I love it, even if it might only be vague representation.
I am aware of the debate over whether or not Maomao can be considered asexual or not, and I'm firmly on team A-spec, as someone who is aegosexual/ace myself and who can still have sex and consider it to be an act of connection with someone.
I agree that the environment she grew up in affected her views on sex and how it's a tool and a product, and women only get to control it in very limited situations, but that doesn't negate the ace label. Both can exist, and if it turns out differently in the future then that's that, but people are allowed to believe what they want.
Even both being on team Ace(Aro)!Maomao, Capybara and I have our disagreements about how this is going to play out, and have our own ideas about what we'd like to see play out too.
Capy hopes they become Bros and stay fully ace/aro, and I hope they end up in some sort of queer-like relationship. But either way I am SUPER happy to have a show that has so much of its world building connected to sex, and yet it doesn't revolve around sex. Even the fan service like moments aren't really all the fan service-y. They serve a purpose apart from fan service, and I am here for this.
(Maomao is absolutely telling her what a boob job is.)
The mysteries are great and twisty, and there are enough clues that if you're paying attention you can figure out what actually happened. Then there are some like the entire last few episodes of the first half that wouldn't be possible without knowing what Maomao learned, and we don't get to learn what happened until the culprit does either.
I admit that only watching the anime sometimes leaves me with questions, and the subtitle translations are sometimes different than what's being said, in a way that implies a cultural difference that's not possibly to translate clearly. Reading the corresponding chapter of both mangas to whatever episode I watched helps a great deal, and helps to fully flesh out the characters, their motivations, and the world as a whole in it's small small corner of the palace.
I'm looking forward to the second half of the season, and I will hopefully be posting reactions to each episode, and then when I go back to re-watch, I plan to write up about those episodes then. Maybe I'll make a master post, and maybe this hyper fixation will dissipate before I make it that far.
I LOVE THIS SHOW.
#apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#anime winter 2024#anime fall 2023#薬屋のひとりごと#maomao#jinshi#gaoshun
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This is part two of my live blog post of RWRB. Like before, I’ll put it below the cut to avoid spoilers but if you want to see my mildly incoherent screaming… well, this is the place lol!
As always, happy viewing :)
- Alex looks absolutely TERRIFIED for this convo
- Ellen also looks a bit terrified haha
- His little laugh when he says no
- She has to sit. Oh god.
- No powerpoint. That’s unfortunate. But at least they alluded to it.
- I am glad we got the “you need to figure out if you feel forever about him” convo. And he sounds so sad when he tells her he doesn’t know if they will ever get there.
- “When your child is Alex Claremont Diaz you get used to the exceptional.” WE LOVE AN ACCEPTING MOTHER
- “Please call me congressman” hahaha
- ONE LAST STOP ONE LAST STOP
-THE HAT OH GOD
- This scene is fucking everything.
- THE ZOOM ON ALEXS FACE OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO IN LOVE
- I said it before but I’ll say it again. I love his relationship with his dad. (But I don’t love that his parents are still together)
- They are so cute. I’m so obsessed.
- Jesus. The water on their bodies. I’m looking respectfully. Lord.
- Instant Henry panic. Alex. Baby. Read the room. Poor Henry oh god.
- THE ROPE LINE AHHHHHH
- Almost love confession. Throws self into lake. Fucking hell.
- Him leaving. Even though the scene is sadder in the book I’m still fucking broken.
- Aww bby David
- If by “ended things” you mean you fucking ran. Dear lord.
- I’m living for this scene with Bea. Seeing more of this side of the story is lovely. It gives it more depth.
- This song is EVERYTHING
- It’s fascinating to see the aftermath from Henry’s side as opposed to Alex’s. I love that.
- Nervous Alex is everything. And I love him and Nora.
- I WANTED YELLING NOOOOOOO
- I know it wouldn’t have been realistic my possible but still. I was robbed.
- THE MAN I LOVE OH MY GOD
- “This is costing me everything”
- “I will not trade one prison for another”
- Somehow I love this scene just as much as the book version even though it’s so different
- “Don’t make me” oh GOD
- THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM
- Now I know they they looked so heavy in this scene. I have been wondering that for ages.
- His smile at Alex putting the song on so they can dance. And the way Alex smiles at him. Oh my god. And how they hold each other. They look so damn happy.
- FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE THAT WAS BETTER THAN IT BEING IN AN EMAIL
- He’s so nervous giving him the ring. I’m dead. And the fucking key. I love them so much.
- “I’ll be as patient as you need”
- That moment just before everything goes to absolute shit lol
- Whoa. Well. I didn’t see that coming. That happened very different. And actually I’m very glad I’m seeing it though Henry’s lens
- USING THE FUCKING POLO MATCH PICTURE
- Fucking Miguel. I fuck hate that asshole.
- CALL HIS ASS OUT
- Alex’s speech is beautiful
- “The forced conformity of the closet cannot be answered with forced conformity of coming out of it.” 👏👏👏
- ALL THESE LITTLE FUCKING SCENES OF GOD
- My lord Zahra is everything
- Alex just went through so many emotions
- “Touch me and die”
- I JUST MADE INHUMAN SOUNDS
- BABY
- IM COMING TO LONDON TONIGHT
- HURRY PLEASE
- ILL BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER FOR YOU
- Lord, it should be illegal for someone to look that good in a t-shirt
- Then playing piano together is absolutely fucking everything
- “We really need to get you a book on English history”
- Henry baby I just want to protect you in a rainbow bubble forever
- “The king wishes to see you. Both of you.”
- He reached for his ring and Alex is wearing it. Oh GOD.
- Oh fuck RIGHT off Phillip
- How is Bea that fucking beautiful
- STEPHEN FUCKING FRY
- I love that Alex refers to him immediately and Henry doesn’t even bother to try not to accept it
- “I don’t want your protection, I want your support”
- FUCK OFF PHILLIP EVEN THE KING DOESN’T LIKE YOU
- GRABBING HIS HAND OH GOD
- Alex looks so fucking gobsmacked happy
- The kings face is sooooo good
- I want to punch Phillip in the face
- Ok, I’m actually loving the fact that the king isn’t saying it’s not real and he doesn’t believe it but that they shouldn’t do it because of “country”
- BEA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
- There it is. There’s the tears. I knew they would come. This is everything.
- I actually kind of love the way they changed the king tbh
- I am sad we didn’t get some of the things that happened when they realized they were accepted
- Ok. Look. It’s obviously not a factual account. But that’s… just… not how election night would look.
- CASEY
- I’m so glad Henry is here with him for this
- Lol Alex saying it right as I type it
- IM SOBBING THIS IS EVERYTHING
- The bikes. The house. GOD!
- These end credit scenes of them are so funny. Just the way they showed them. I love it.
- The little pinky touch oh god
- DO YOU THINK ANYONE NOTICED
God. God. That was everything. I will have a follow up with coherent thoughts soon but lord. I’m so full of emotions.
It wasn’t perfect like we knew it never could be. But it was still everything.
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The world
When we occupy ourselves with the essence of the world, something dawns on us that may or may not be totally apparent. The world is insane. Still, we may say that the world obeys its own inner logic, and this means that we can see the world as a transcendental place of meditation and valour. What we know, is that the world can be understood through logical reasoning, and this makes us ponder the world in ever greater and greater depth. The things that occupy our direct attention are lurid and weird in the last analysis, but something may happen that constricts us in the most cosmological way, and this gives us an immediate attention to the little things that corresponds to true knowledge and intrepid focus. All these things are knoweable.
John McDowell speaks of a "bald naturalism" that permeates the history of philosophy. It is truly a tremendous thing, that makes us wonder about the meaning of life. It seems there is a God in heaven that told us what to do and how to live; but in the world of bald naturalism, this God has no say, there is not any true movement in the entirety of the world. We might call this the ontological disputation. Ontic essences are absolute and may be seen in the light of veiled discernments or sense-data, but the essence of the world remains obscure to the vehement elements of discernment-in-thought. When we live in ordinary ways, bad things happen to us, or our life is not beautiful. The things we do are limited by being arcane or weird, but the assertion of real things happens in the constancy of the universe, and this shows people what the truth might be, in the last analysis. A world consists of subject and object, and when we engage in proper thought, the little things become apparent. But a truly holy or miraculous order has yet to be discerned. It seems God is outside of the things, but the better things, or quintessential things, can be found only the real truth, which is just the analysis and synthesis of proper articulations of the higher order of beings.
The view of normal science is that there is no higher being, no difference between God and man, or nature and the symbolic realm of things that determine the existence of life here. We can posit a force that permeates the whole of reality, but that is not going to explain anything: we just have to look at the world the way it is, and there is no escape from the drudgery of life and the mundanity of everyday phenomena. Nevertheless, we can see there is a level of reality in which things happen, a soul world so to speak, or perhaps a spirit realm, that makes us needful of reanalyzing the known concepts of the world, and to reconsider the validity of the values that science relies on. I am not saying that there is magic, or that supernatural things will happen, I am only saying that we can be fascinated beyond the ordinary by thoughts and humanities in the vast infinity of the world in a way that prompts us to speak of a greater calling or vocation for thinking to happen. I personally do not find this present in stuff like process philosophy, and it is also mostly lacking in Heidegger's work, although both these schools presumebly have their own peculiar charm: I do find it in the work of great thinkers in general, although I find it hard to point at a particular person. Philosophy means something, and I believe philosophy can help discover a meaning to life, even if rational thought can never provide such a meaning. Verily, it seems that if we want rational meaning - in this world - we'll have to look at religions. Religions all provide, to some extent or other, a mystique that fills us with the proper need for real gratification, and that allows us to ponder existence in a very real and meaningful way; and to feel like the world makes sense. Philosophy, because it is so logical, cannot do this: it will always stumble and find itself at a loss for words - after all, our preference for philosophy over religion is a wholly personal choice.
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this is my first foray into eldritch horror and tbh i did not expect to enjoy it this much but holy shit this is fascinating to explore, PARTICULARLY in having two perfect foils to juxtapose each other.
Luchino and Rosario both being obsessively inquisitive, both insatiable for knowledge, being slowly and ever more thoroughly compromised by the eldritch gods who are respectively using them as pawns, makes for such an interesting dynamic in how they can understand each other even though their approaches to the situation are so different; Luchino struggles to reconcile his new awareness with his existing faith and to marry the two into one new logical reality, one that makes sense and can be explained scientifically. Rosario accepts that they cannot fully understand and chooses to give themself over willingly despite being fully aware that they are being used - if they can’t understand, they at least will have the experience, however messy and bewildering. he tries to force it all into neat, organized systems, they explore the individual threads of the fabric that is being unraveled. both are suddenly overwhelmed with concepts they cannot begin to grasp and fight to train and focus their minds, trying to condense and distill the information so its easier to swallow, so they can stomach more and more. the siren song of promised knowledgeable is impossible to resist for either of them. it’s an addiction that separates them from the rest of their world but pulls them closer together. the rewards are, in their minds, worth any hardship, but there’s no end to it because each new door opens into more and more channels. maybe the next piece of information will be the one that makes it all fall into place, that allows them to understand.
BUT at the same time they also have an anchor to the “real” world in the form of their family* and friends and their shared passion for the natural world. like. their love is saving them - not just their love for each other but their love for others and for animals/nature and especially for Bane, who views the world in very tangible and immediate terms and grounds his partners just in who he is as a person.
(*having an undead Fae son and a demon-possessed Revenant queerplatonic partner as well don’t help as much with the “reality” aspect but their presence in their lives does still very much anchor them regardless)
overall i am having a grand time and it’s got me wanting to go back to the roots of eldritch horror and maybe read some classics (im a fakeass fan ive never actually read Lovecraft 😔) to get inspo on other ways to explore the concept 🤔

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typhoon tycoon
There's only 3 simulation games I've ever played: Sims (so technically 4 there) Roller Coaster Tycoon (RCT) and Zoo Tycoon (ZT).
Not even 2 or 3 - the base ZT game. I still do not fuck with 2 or 3 and I'm really not sure why.
But I think I'll discover why as I explain why I hate real-life zoos, love fake zoos, hate Roller Coaster Tycoon but love real roller coasters.
See, designing roller coasters, even in 1, is boring. Hmm, do I want a 30% incline or a 40? Let's spend 15 hours testing which specific piece of track is the one launching my guests into orbit instead of back to the station.
But designing enclosures for animals that won't ever be harmed, without an immediate failure mechanic? Sign me up.
And there it is, I realized why I like 1 over the newer ones: isometric, limited view. 2 invites the user to play in first-person… from the point of view of the animal. Maybe I'm a speshul snowflake but it seems a bit dystopic to be able to view the world from an imprisoned animal.
Also it came with an insanely OP function by which you can simply click a button to tell you what grass and trees a giraffe likes, how many, and one rock can make a 10% difference.
*Hikes up suspenders* back in MY DAY, we had to read the brief about the actual animal and find the names of trees and terrain and figure it out yourself until you got old enough to learn Excel and make the entire game a spreadsheet and then it's not as fun. Just me? Anyway.
The reason I brought Coaster Tycoon into my AAA-level hockey fight that is my argument is that I truly cannot believe the vast dichotomy between these two games.
I am familiar with the history of RCT - and it's absolutely fascinating. Coded in one of the most frustratingly esoteric language in 1996 by one man, ONE MAN, it's actually an incredible story.
Again, I LOVE roller coasters, but no matter how interesting its story is, I just can't stand building a coaster park. I think this is me not liking to see how the sausage gets made if that makes sense. I want to go on crazy fast scary coasters. And the minute I step into the coaster car, I take on the absolute possibility that this insanely complex machine could lose one nut and bolt and launch me into the sun or straight down to hell. Why? Because it wasn't build by me. Maybe I'm naïve but I trust Wonderland. They have 0 deaths. I'll take the chance and enjoy those wild 90 seconds spinning around and looping and being pinned to my seat by centrifugal force. Because a real engineer bent over backward to make sure this structure is so safe that it accounts for double the level of stupidity humans are capable of.
Building them in-game, to me, is boring - I just want the end product. And ride on it. If I were to build a good coaster, I'd almost be mad that I couldn't ride it in real life. First-person mode does nothing for me.
Back to Zoo Tycoon. I HATE real-life zoos. Yes, seeing an elephant up close is truly a deeply incredible experience, but at least for me, it will always be tainted by the intrusive thought, "She should be out roaming the African Savannah, not in Toronto, Canada".
It's such a different experence to build zoos in a game where the animal is a jpeg and you actually get penalized - but not instantly failed - for not taking proper care of them, forcing you to build the most humane of zoos that's possible. Neopets ripped them off.
And, at the same time, actually learning about the animals in the process. I know SO MUCH about animals because of ZT needing me to figure out their favourite tree and their preferred number of roommates.
You can go the Sims route and put a panther in the same enclosure as an unfortunate okapi and get that sadistic "drowning Sims in the pool by removing the ladder" feel that I personally don't understand but it's enough of a phenomenon that I don't think it's a reflection of one's potential psychopathy diagnosis. A discussion for another day.
But it brings me to one thing that's very different that I've yet to touch on: God. Have you heard the Good Word? Me neither.
Sims - God-power. Zoo Tycoon - God-power. RCT? Engineer-power. Sorry boys, your degree isn't quite on par with Jesus.
I hope that makes sense because I can't really explain it much more. RCT, of all the Tycoons, is so insanely specific, meticulous, and anti-thetical to its property. Roller coasters are supposed to be thrilling 90-second experiences, not dragging 90-minute slogs. But again, ONE MAN code.
That's mostly it, but a few straggling thoughts: I really love animals. I struggle to think of any I actively dislike - even dogs I've come around to. So I hate the practice of keeping them in captivity. But I don't hate the idea.
I've always had this oddly-specific plan if I were to become a billionaire: buy out every zoo on the planet, send the animals to sanctuaries or home if possible. Then, instead, spend 5 years investing in an immersive VR that puts you in an animal's habitat to observe. If zoos are for learning, there's no reason the animal actually needs to be there. Don't believe me? Planitariums. Do the planets' absence from such attractions mean one can't learn about them? *passes joint*
But one last thing that's always bothered me is this: what, if anything, could RCT do that would make me like it? And at first I couldn't think of anything, because it is, at its core, an engineering game, and I'm not an engineer.
It definitely wouldn't work as a ZT. Reading about roller coaster building standards is not as engaging as reading about real animals and their habitats. That's an entire game mechanic missing from RCT.
But also, plopping down pre-made coasters without any customization options wouldn't hit. So, to be honest and maybe hypocritical for criticizing without answers, I don't know. RCT is very unique among the Tycoons.
I think another element is stakes. Having one rusty fence on the monkey cage is alarming, but one rusty post on a coaster is catastrophic. Even if your rhino gets out, it's a matter of common sense intervention. If your coaster simply won't run start to finish, often it feels like a set of code that won't run and you just don't know why. It's frustrating. It's hard to get frustrated with animals.
I think that's about it. Again, just some randomly assembled thoughts, honestly not up to my usual posts but it's quite hard to put how I feel about these games into real words.
Stay Greater.
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My looksie of this copied from a google doc lol
Before coming out from the labyrinth, Primus has only interfered with normal Cybertronian life three times: when Unicron was alive and trying to destroy Cybertron during the time of the 13 Primes, giving the Matrix of Leadership to Orion Pax, and getting so fed up with Sentinel Prime’s fake Prime bullshit that he came, bitchslapped that bot, and turned him into a sparkling
Ok ok so this? Perfect. Yes. I hope Sentinel is then raised properly. That guy needs to be taught how to be a good person. It also makes sense that Primus wouldn’t interact with his creations that much due to him being a literal god. Imagine being so annoying GOD comes and tells you to stop it.
Bumblebee would have been in grave danger if he lived before the war.
Wha oh?
Ratchet was highly popular not only for being an awesome medical student, but for being a party ambulance
100% I bet he would have a bunch of great stories to tell but nobody would believe them as he gets older. I totally see a First Aid or Pharma being involved in his earlier years too.
Cliffjumper painted his faceplate to give himself similar details to Bumblebee’s outlier looks. Bumblebee liked that.
THIS- I love this- Twin solidarity for real for real. I think it would be pretty cool if they each had some matching details they decided on their own. Like matching tattoos that people get-
Megatron was the size of an emu when he was a sparkling. He could fit into a Cybertronian teacup.
I am currently editing Megatron’s head on an emu. Thank you for the inspiration. Also realistic as there was a god dang war against Emus gahahaha.
Astrotrain had a conjunx and a couple of sparklings on the way before the war, but they all died near the start of the war. After the Triple Changer Experiment, Astrotrain forgot about them.
NOOOOOO- That’s Sad :((((( I hope that he will eventually remember them somehow, maybe he’ll see a picture or some records? Maybe his memory will be triggered in some way?
Minibot sparklings immediately become attached on their sire, carrier, or anyone who cares for them because they need someone to depend on to survive.
They just BABIES little baby babies AWWWWW- I like this I like this a lot.
Cybertronians can either be forged or born as sparklings. Originally they could only be forged, but after Primus noticed that Unicron’s forces were destroying all of the forges or taking them over, he gave Cybertronians the other way to make sure they wouldn’t all die off
Honestly, it makes sense. Species do have to adapt to survive. Though it must probably be kind of wild for old old bots to learn about new reproduction processes lol.
Primus has actually walked among Cybertronians, but since no one has a set form for him, no one notices unless he announces it or someone connects the dots together
Robot Jesus :0
Primus looks different to everyone.
Really cool! Reminds me of beliefs that Aphrodite looks different to everyone who views her because they all see the most beautiful person as someone different.
Megatron is scared of Primus
Valid he should.
Rodimus sees Primus as Rung
Literally God’s sign that he should go to therapy.
Seekers are never forged, only sparklings
Fascinating. So I’m wondering what the timeline is here. Did seekers form before or after Primus created sparklings? Or were they just the test trials who could just do that before everyone else? Either way that’s interesting.
89% of Seekers are born in threes.
Makes since because Trines
Seekers typically have two trines, a familial trine and a social trine (can be both romantic and platonic)
I see this, as I’m sure not everyone wants to spend their life around with their family.
55% of seekers never meet their familial trine again
:((((( sad face emoji
In the first million years of the war, 81% of seeker trines were broken due to seeker deaths
Sad face emoji again- Also I wonder how that would change Seekers? Would there be a difference between losing one trine member or two?
Blitzwing never had a social trine (jokes that he is his own trine after the Triple Changer experiment)
Sad face emoji times 3
Blitzwing and Astrotrain are Amicas
YIPE TRAUMATIZED FRIENDS
Bulkhead and Bumblebee are Amicas
So real for this. They would totally get platonically married for tax benefits if they could.
Ratchet is polyamorous
Makes sense
many of the Autobots will play with the possibility of polygamy
Also makes sense
Ratchet immediately can tell the difference between Bumblebee and Cliffjumper. He just knows
He is their doctor after all haha- What doctor couldn’t tell who his patients were lol
Soundwave has a “public” music library the chaotic siblings (Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Mirage, Smokescreen, Rodimus) sometimes “hack” to listen to music.
Aaaaaa that’s silly. It’s like the meme about sharing Netflix accounts with “parasite 1, parasite 2”
FACTS ABOUT TFFL (PART ONE):
Before coming out from the labyrinth, Primus has only interfered with normal Cybertronian life three times: when Unicron was alive and trying to destroy Cybertron during the time of the 13 Primes, giving the Matrix of Leadership to Orion Pax, and getting so fed up with Sentinel Prime’s fake Prime bullshit that he came, bitchslapped that bot, and turned him into a sparkling
Bumblebee would have been in grave danger if he lived before the war.
Ratchet was highly popular not only for being an awesome medical student, but for being a party ambulance
Cliffjumper painted his faceplate to give himself similar details to Bumblebee’s outlier looks. Bumblebee liked that.
Megatron was the size of an emu when he was a sparkling. He could fit into a Cybertronian teacup.
Astrotrain had a conjunx and a couple of sparklings on the way before the war, but they all died near the start of the war. After the Triple Changer Experiment, Astrotrain forgot about them.
Minibot sparklings immediately become attached on their sire, carrier, or anyone who cares for them because they need someone to depend on to survive.
Cybertronians can either be forged or born as sparklings. Originally they could only be forged, but after Primus noticed that Unicron’s forces were destroying all of the forges or taking them over, he gave Cybertronians the other way to make sure they wouldn’t all die off
Primus has actually walked among Cybertronians, but since no one has a set form for him, no one notices unless he announces it or someone connects the dots together
Primus looks different to everyone.
Megatron is scared of Primus
Rodimus sees Primus as Rung
Seekers are never forged, only sparklings
89% of Seekers are born in threes.
Seekers typically have two trines, a familial trine and a social trine (can be both romantic and platonic)
55% of seekers never meet their familial trine again
In the first million years of the war, 81% of seeker trines were broken due to seeker deaths
Blitzwing never had a social trine (jokes that he is his own trine after the Triple Changer experiment)
Blitzwing and Astrotrain are Amicas
Bulkhead and Bumblebee are Amicas
Ratchet is polyamorous
many of the Autobots will play with the possibility of polygamy
Ratchet immediately can tell the difference between Bumblebee and Cliffjumper. He just knows
Soundwave has a “public” music library the chaotic siblings (Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Mirage, Smokescreen, Rodimus) sometimes “hack” to listen to music.
MORE WILL COME SOON!
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omg you sound so cool tbh!! film and theatre seem like such interesting things to study! do you watch movies for homework and then like, discuss? or write analyses? what does one actually studies as a film major? and by electronics do you mean like, lighting and sound and special effects or something else? sorry I'm very unfamiliar with this field but I'd love to learn more from you <3
I'd like to learn more about your pets also :) preferably with pictures! I personally am heavily a cat person but always open to give love to critters of all shapes and sizes (if they're not bugs. bugs deserve love too of course but they won't be getting any from me sorry)
I am an international relations major! seems a bit useless in the current political climate tbh, it was different when I started, but at least it's very heavy on languages, which I love. When I'm not slacking off on getting this degree I draw (badly), write (decently I hope) and play video games, mostly rpgs (awfully but I'm having fun). I love reading but never seem to be able to force myself to actually do it lmao. my fave genres are fantasy and sci-fi :) I write mostly fanfiction but have some original projects in the works too. but yeah. mostly fanfiction of course
you listed so many things about yourself but I'm not able to squeeze everything into one ask so that'll be it for today <3
aww, thank you!! for me personally, i’m in the production side of things (though i have taken analyses classes, and i love them!! they’ve been some of my favorites, actually). for me, i’m into the writing/directing most (though i’m very willing to help people anywhere i can! and lighting/sound is close to getting me like writing and directing, if i’m entirely honest). and yes!! i’ve been working on lighting and sound (and the next show we do, i actually get to be sound board op for!! i’m pretty excited—i just found out friday, too!!) and that’s absolutely okay—i was too!! i’m still not entirely sure what all it entails, if i’m fully honest, simply because while there’s a lot that stays the same there’s also a lot of little odd jobs you end up doing that give you variation (which is exactly what i was hoping for when i signed up for this, so it’s perfect!!)
AND YESSS it’s the same here!!!! i love my dog to death and back, but… i think i’m always going to have that immediate soft spot for all cats
this is baby, my cat!! he’s a sweet little boy that i affectionately bully all the time (and he keeps trying to pull LEAVES into my APARTMENT,)
and the bugs thing is very fair!! they’re very much not for everyone (i’ve been thinking about keeping bees or moths/butterflies, but haven’t gotten around to it yet… it’s a Future Project, maybe!)
you’re ALSO very cool???? international relations at least sounds like it’s super interesting, even if it feels like there’s not too much you can do with it right now—opportunities are sure to come!! especially if you like languages
!!!!!!! what kind of stuff do you like to draw? i love seeing art!! if there’s ever a time you want to/can share some, you’re always free to (but you also don’t ever have to if you don’t want to!!)
and god, i feel the reading thing so hard… it’s something that the brain has to let you do, and very often the brain really does just say “NO!”
i love sci-fi too!!!! and fantasy, though recently i haven’t been able to consume as much fantasy media as sci-fi… they’re both just such fun genres, it’s so fascinating to see how different writers view the things they can do with them and the way that you can see views of our real-world through them!!
and yes of course, that’s okay!! you seem so super cool, and i’m so excited to get to know you better!!
what other kind of music do you like?
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the early bird is the worm - some thoughts on Warren the Eagle
i’ve been fixating on Warren from DHMIS a lot (oh lord why did it have to be him 😭💖) and enjoying a lot of the conversation around his character, both positive and negative! so i wanted to get some thoughts down about him and see what other people think. the writers did an amazing job of portraying an instantly unlikable guy, and i want to examine that unlikability, to see what we can learn about him and his mindset:
a little bit of a recap: when Warren accuses Red Guy and Duck of being bad friends, and the two respond that it’s Yellow Guy’s fault for forgetting the password, Warren doesn’t try to defend Yellow Guy. instead, he goes on a defensive, egotistical tirade about how because he’s not ‘technically affiliated’ with the OK Stop organisation, they don’t think he knows a bad friendship when he sees one. with no prompting, Warren has inserted himself into the interpersonal troubles of another group (that he doesn’t know!!) and made himself out to be the person being attacked. Warren is not a good Samaritan. it’s got nothing to do with Yellow Guy being bullied at all - this is all a vicious ego trip for Warren, who feels persecuted by people he doesn’t even know and projects himself onto other people he perceives to be victims. it’s fascinating, and why i feel it’s a disingenuous interpretation to assume the ‘Warren the Eagle’ name is some mean-spirited joke towards trans people - as a trans person myself, i was worried too! but i realised that it’s not literally about him not being an eagle because he doesn’t have wings - it’s because Warren is oblivious to who he is and the way he treats other people. he’s a social parasite who dresses up his problems in victim-supporting language, validating his toxic behaviours that leave the people around him exhausted and upset. Warren refuses to take accountability for his behaviour and latches onto Yellow Guy despite not having a genuine interest in him or his wellbeing. Warren just wants to be liked, and he realises that in Yellow Guy’s safe space (his brain), he can be...even if he ends up hurting Yellow Guy in the process. Warren being a worm is visual shorthand. pretty much everyone immediately had a visceral response to him and his uncomfortable, invasive behaviour, and the fact that he views himself as a creature that is so radically different from what he actually is - an eagle instead of a worm - is supposed to communicate to us that his perspective is warped to the point that he cannot (or just refuses to acknowledge) how nasty he is to others. you’ll notice that Yellow Guy’s Brain Friends - who are portrayed as a positive, healthy force - are immediately accepting of Warren’s identity and validate his thoughts without question, because they want to be supportive. they’re doing a nice thing, and it’s not played for laughs! but Warren takes advantage of that kindness, and it doesn’t take long for those friends to grow tired of his behaviour. they do the healthy thing by removing themselves from the equation. so, yes...i like Warren as a character a lot, because i think he is a great representation of how you can’t just appropriate the language of positive mental health without doing the actual therapeutic work of unlearning your problematic behaviours. he’s equal parts stubborn and ignorant, and it seems he identifies with being an eagle less in a ‘this is a trans allegory’ sense, and more in a ‘i refuse to acknowledge that i’m being an asshole to the people around me because i am the best and everyone should cater to me.’ sense. that being said, i’m very excited to see more lore and meta and character development for Warren from the fandom! i think headcanoning him as trans is awesome - on that note, did you know that earthworms are intersex? i’m also delighted by the rise of the LoveBird ship (Shrignold/Warren) and the potential for both of them to learn to love in a way which works for them both...the dynamic is so neat 😖💖 that being said, what do you think? do you love Warren? are you indifferent? do you want him to die in a fire? i’d love to know! 🥰
#is it in bad taste to say i have brainworms for Warren because i can't stop thinking about him#he's such a pathetic little creature and i cannot resist the urge to examine him under a microscope. tell me your Warren thoughts!#don't hug me i'm scared#dhmis#warren the eagle#dhmis warren#don't hug me i'm scared spoilers#dhmis spoilers#starleskatalks
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JJK 149. Mai Zen'in
It’s fascinating for a battle shounen manga to have a character like Mai who is diametrically opposed to the ideals of strength and self-improvement that are usually valourized in this genre. Mai doesn't die because she can’t get stronger, but because she doesn’t want to. And although that attitude is evidently incompatible with an existence within the world and situation she found herself in, there is no negative value judgment imposed by the narrative itself condemning her unwillingness to unlock her "full potential".
JJK has always foregrounded competing worldviews and how individuals’ different perspectives and values can either coexist or conflict with others. Maki's ambition to transform the Zen'in clan vs. the Zen'ins' regressive conservatism; Gojou's vision for the jujutsu world vs. the higher ups' ; Yuji's "I want to save everyone" vs. Megumi's "I choose who I save" ; Mei Mei's "I'm on the side of money" vs. Nanami leaving a lucrative job to save people out of compassion, and so on.
So it's particularly impressive that, while operating within the shounen genre, the story continues to maintain its respect for this ideological diversity by preserving Mai’s belief in her own worldview to the very end. Simply put, not everyone wants to become powerful even if they may have the potential to. Not everyone wants to live a life of violence, and not everyone wants to be a saviour for others at the direct expense of their own sanity.
It would be perhaps the more optimistic yet potentially oppressive narrative move to demand for Mai's character to undergo a transformation from a character who resists the shounen ideals to one who accepts them. This type of transformation would by no means be inherently negative; I'm definitely not saying that going down this path would have been bad for Mai's character or for the story. But it would succumb to a temptation to move towards a kind of 'sameness' rather than difference in its depiction of ways of acting in the world. I think Mai's ending is all the more striking because it resists this temptation.
Because I think that the more typical - and optimistic - development arc for Mai would have been for her to learn how to be willing to become stronger as a sorcerer and eventually fight alongside Maki.
But instead, Mai never ends up conforming to those dominant values of strength and ambition. Neither is she subjected to the kind of development traditionally favoured by the genre that are along the lines of, 'you just need to believe in yourself and work hard' -- because if we really think about it, often times a lot of feats in shounen are accomplished by sheer willpower and self-conviction. (JJK is not always an exception to that trope, nor is it necessarily a bad thing!). Mai had previously firmly stated her opposing point of view, and this essential attitude never changes even when we perhaps most expect it to.
In this situation, rather than working to improve her technique to create stronger objects without it costing her life, Mai passively accepts that her weakness will require self-sacrifice.
It’s a fatalistic attitude resulting from having never wanted to partake in a life of violence and hardship.
On the one hand, inflexibility and the inability to adapt are not exactly commendable traits; Mai is certainly fixed in her resignation and refusal to work towards her full potential as a sorcerer. On the other hand, to use Nanami's words, being a sorcerer is shit. All the suffering and regret in the story so far has only continued to reaffirm that sentiment. So we also can't fully condemn Mai for rejecting that way of life to the extent that she would rather sacrifice herself than to push forward to have her own "shounen power-up" moment. Because the aftermath of that would be a path likely filled with death, brutality, and suffering.
The wish to live a normal life is a legitimate and valid one. In an ideal world, her clan would not punish her for it. In an ideal world, opposing perspectives, especially ordinarily pacifist ones like Mai's, would be allowed to exist. Mai having to die because she was unable to escape or adapt to the ruthlessness of the jujutsu world exemplifies how cruel that world is. Mai's persistence in her wish for a normal life, and her "failure" as a sorcerer is not her failure at all; her death reflects a failure of the violently rigid jujutsu clan culture.
In this light, it is all the more tragic that Mai's death was entirely preventable, and fated not by the inevitability of actual "fate", but rather entirely by a radically traditionalist clan system.
At the same time, as I mentioned earlier, I find it impressive for Gege to have allowed Mai to hold onto her values. Just as Maki has always stayed true to her dreams of overturning the Zen'in clan by becoming a powerful sorcerer, Mai has always stayed true to her resistance to that dark and difficult path. From a writing perspective, I think it's interestingly respectful to Mai's character in that way. It's also for this reason that I consider this chapter to be a worthy good-bye to Mai, as she is faithful to her own way of being in the world until the end. It may not conform to the demands of the optimistic self-improvement narrative generally preferred by shounen, but it is a valid perspective, and it is never depicted to be 'lesser than' or 'inferior to' the shounen narrative.
I'm always interested in stories in which there is a genuine dialogue of a diversity of voices, each with their own perspectives and viewpoints even as they conflict with each other - or in other words stories that prioritize 'difference' over 'sameness' in ways of being, thinking, and acting. It's not necessarily uncommon - most if not all stories will feature different character motivations within a given cast. But I think JJK does this particularly well in a particularly convincing way, and 149 is further confirmation of this for me.
Finally, it is notable that Mai herself seems to acknowledge this sentiment. She may have been unwilling to imagine a stronger future version of herself, which is opposite to the advice Gojou had given Megumi if he wanted to reach his full potential. But she died for the sake of believing in the stronger future version of Maki, and this is how she is victorious even in death. All the way to the end, Mai had her way of viewing and acting in the world in her individual way, and Maki had hers; importantly, Mai ends up encourages this difference. Right after she states that "You are me, and I am you", that sameness is undercut when Mai immediately after points to their contrasting motivations:
Mai ultimately encourages Maki to live in the way that Maki wants to live - to the fullest potential of her power and the fullest potential for her capacity to force change upon a corrupt system. Before, Mai had resented Maki for moving on without her ("why didn't you fall down the hole with me?") - she resented how Maki couldn't be the same as her in how she viewed the world. In her final chapter, Mai conversely acknowledged that she herself could never see the world exactly the same as Maki.
Therein lies the cornerstone of her character development; before, she resented that difference between them for those twofold reasons. In the last moments of her life, she no longer resents Maki for moving on without her; she encourages her to move forward into the future. It is of course undeniably tragic, as it must be a future without Mai. And no amount of power gained from such a loss could ever be consolation for that tragedy.
It is fitting, then, that Mai's final message to Maki is full of despair -- yet it is also not without hope. In the interplay between 'construction' and 'destruction', it is ironic yet poetic that Mai wished for her object-construction technique's final and greatest creation to be used to destroy - indeed, to "destroy everything". There is undoubtedly despair both in that command, and in Maki's drive to destruction when she emerges from that room. But somewhere, somehow, there must also be the hope that that destruction will be in the service of "construction", of creating a better future for others, even if it is too late for it to be a future in which they can live in together.
#jjk meta#jjk 149#mai zenin#maki zenin#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga#jjk theory#zenin maki#zenin mai#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers
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Let's see... What I particularly like about Dominion:
WARNING : there will be spoilers for those who haven’t read all updated chapters yet :
● The palette of emotions you give to each character. Nobody is completely good or evil, no matter what their personal beliefs are.
● The subtle, allusive writing that allows you to approach very dark themes, even the worst ones, without ever falling into voyeurism. Your ability to do this is something I deeply admire and envy! Even the sexual intercourse between Zuko and Azula is written delicately, with tact and a vocabulary very different from what we usually read in descriptions of such acts.
● The way you write Azula: an extremely moving mix of strength, cunning, and vulnerability. This is probably the most human Azula I have ever seen in a fanfiction. What's even more impressive is that this vulnerability is not forced and adds a touch of realism to the character, without making her a fragile little thing that could quickly become annoying.
● The complete lack of scruples you show regarding the fate of innocent animals: poor little creatures that did nothing wrong and are the first collateral victims of Dominion. How many other authors have killed Momo in cold blood without losing half their readership immediately? I would never dare! What audacity! And I'm not even talking about the komodo-rhino turned into sausages, the ostrich-horse dying from exhaustion in the mountains, and other beasts with tragic fate that not everyone knows about yet!
● I love the twisted relationship between Zuko and Azula, this mixture of love and hate, this codependent bond that transcends mere physical proximity. Their connection is on a spiritual level.
● This gives me the opportunity to make a subtle transition to another aspect of your story that I love: the role you give to the spirit world and, more generally, the spiritual aspect of the Avatar universe. It's daring from all points of view, and you handle it extremely well.
● Azula's gradual and indestructible attachment to her baby. It's probably the most moving element of Dominion, along with her relationship with Ursa.
● Ursa: julietwhisky already said it, but in this story, Ursa is particularly well-written. She's a very nuanced, interesting character, and I disagree with many comments that describe her as a bad mother. Beneath a very traditional exterior (in her view of women's roles in society) lies a woman willing to do anything to defend the interests of those she loves. Her relationship with Azula is fascinating, and I never tire of rereading their journey, the details that help their relationship improving, day by day: the baby’s kicking, the letters, Azula making her mother laugh, their hand holding and more ;)! Without a doubt, one of my favorite passages, as you know!
● Ty Lee: adorable, loyal, never giving up! If there's one thing I hope to see in Dominion, it's more scenes where they're together and we get to witness the true depth of their friendship.
Now, let's talk about what I'm expecting/I imagine/I hope for the future:
● We know each other well enough now, and you've seen enough of my contributions to this fandom, for me to stop lying and admit that I am a true zucest shipper. And your interest in my stories proves that you like this pair more than you want to admit too, yes, yes! So, I deeply hope for more non-brotherly interactions, even if I doubt that's on the agenda. At the very least, I would like to see Azula's feelings for her brother become clearer. Zuko's feelings leave less room for doubt.
● I do want to see Ozai die in indescribable circumstances, even though I also enjoy seeing a horrible character survive. Why? Because in real life, assholes always get away with it. That's just how the world works. And I don't think you're the kind of author who's too shy to take this kind of direction. But Ozai is already pretty injured at this point in Dominion. What I truly hope is that Azula will realize the harm he did to her, manage to sever the link that connects her to him, without guilt, and give up this totally crazy plan to leave with him and her baby (As if Ozai would want her and the baby she had with her incompetent brother!) But I think Azula has already started this process, even if she's not ready to admit it!
● I want to see Ursa discover what Ozai has done to their daughter and do everything it takes to keep this fucking asshole out of their lives. I think she will be the one to end Ozai's life or at least sever the link between him and their daughter.
● I desperately want to know the reaction of ALL THE CHARACTERS when they find out what happened between the fire siblings and where the baby come from.
● I believe in a reunion between Zuko and Azula at the time of the baby's birth, and I think it would be the most moving, adorable, and heartbreaking scene in the world because let's be honest, you're not just going to give us a fluffy scene with the happy parents gushing about their wonderful baby and reconciling immediately. That would make no sense, even if the emotion following a birth can make us lose our minds for a few hours/days (before the baby blues shows its face !)
● I also anticipate the reunion between Mai and Azula. I think that once facing her rival, Mai will be struggling with very conflicting emotions. I don't think she'll be ready to kill a pregnant woman like Azula in cold blood. But I also believe that the sight of Azula's baby (whether still in her womb or not at that time) could trigger terrible anger. Mai is quite unpredictable here, and I think that until she finds her own baby, we can't expect anything good from her.
I'll stop here because I want to save some thoughts for my reviews. And the good news is that writing this paper makes me want to get back to it!
Courage, Aurelia, whatever you're going through, and I hope this note will cheer you up a bit!
Thanks @wiseabsol for your initiative !
Dominion Fans, I Need Your Help
So Aurelia le has been having a terrible week. I would like to cheer her up by making a thread that celebrates what we love about Dominion. Could you all respond with a few sentences on what you've enjoyed about the fic and what you're looking forward to in future chapters? I'll start:
I really enjoy how much detail we get into the unseen parts of Azula's backstory and how that has impacted her psyche. I especially love the division between how she views herself (as a monster) and what her actions say (definitely not a monster).
I love Ursa's patriarchy brain and Azula challenging that. It's fascinating!
I love how Dominion looks at canon and other Azula redemption fics and goes, "Nice try, but let's dig a little deeper." Particularly in how it scrutinizes Zuko, Iroh, and Ursa.
I'm looking forward to seeing how everyone in the cast reacts to meeting Ursa after all of this time. I'm especially looking forward to seeing how Ursa and Iroh interact, and how Ursa is going to react to what Ozai did.
I'm also looking forward to seeing how everyone reacts when Zuko's secret comes out, because that's bound to be a wild disaster.
What is going to happen when Azula and Mai meet again? I have no idea, but I hope it's a shouting match where they word-vomit all of the poisonous thoughts that have been eating them up where their relationship is concerned. I want to see if reconciliation is possible.
What about you all? Thoughts?
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Can i get a breeding kink prompt With mikey please? 👉👈
👁👄👁 I am-
Listen, do not get me started on this...
Okay here we gooooo
Rated Explicit (18+ only)
Michelangelo had everything down to a science, which he always found hilarious since he wasn’t the science guy here. But ironic joke aside, he truly did have it all thought out to the point of near perfection.
Because Spring sucks.
Spring is annoying.
Everyone’s in a mood, everyone is in a state of perpetual chest pumping and nothing gets done. Mikey had long since learned that skating the excessive energy out of his system worked fabolously, combine that with some much needed alone time with a skin magazine or video and he could call it a night.
Spring is so annoying.
With you though, he had glossed over in a vague matter that maybe it would be best for you to hang back for a few days. Naturally that was odd, Mikey sometimes wanted to glue you to his shell if he could. A quick look of the calendar filled in the blanks, mutterings about approaching Spring Fever as they had named it were ongoing on the nights you’d been there. Mikey was being courteous, nay he was being shy at the very least.
Curiosity on your end though, would be your undoing.
So you packed your overnight bag with the essentials . He was probably overselling this whole Heat issue, it wasn’t like Mikey’s libido was at a soft two even on a bad day. That man could watch you shaver your legs with a full on mud mask on your face and still pop a boner. Naturally though you maybe should’ve listened
but your feet were already taking to the nearest Lair entrance.
Mikey felt antsy , even after spending three hours on his board. He even took out his old normal board to practice basic tricks on it, he’d played video games for an hour, thought about you for another hour and still his skin felt electric. The air in the Lair tonight was about the same, everyone was locked away to avoid unnecessary fighting. He figured he’d shower, think about you once again and retreat back to his room.
He felt a little better after the hot shower, he’d even found that you had left one of those sweet smelling body gels. That had significantly distracted him and now he couldn’t stop smelling himself, for he smelled like you. In his trance he neglected to perhaps notice that your scent had picked up a little more but he figured it was himself.
He nudged the curtain aside that led to his room (Raph had moved out a few months back) and tossed his towel somewhere in the chaos.
Then he saw you there, on his bed, flipping away on some random magazine he had lying around looking like a dream. Mikey froze on the spot, you looked up and smiled.
“So what’s the big deal? Aside from how funeral like quiet everything is around, has anybody sprouted a third arm?” You joked whilst setting the magazine aside, you sat up and assessed him. He was freshly showered, smelling of your favorite shower gel and wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.
For Mikey though, his literal reptile brain was only making him notice how gorgeous you looked in nothing but some stay at home shorts and a flimsy oversized crop top. Naturally you had settled into your relaxed attire once here, most of the time it consisted of things Mikey either outgrew or didn’t use anymore. He approached, tentatively.
“No third arms dude, just you know; tension in the air” He chuckled and so did you, you couldn’t help but notice how fixated his gaze was. He looked at every little detail of yours more intently, enjoying it even more. Mikey reached out and ran his knuckles across your chin. You kept your smile, sneaking down to press a soft kiss on his wrist. “What’ya been up to then?” You not so innocently asked as he started playing with your hair.
Mikey’s mind was too clouded, it had been clouded all day with scandalous thoughts of you. Even now as you sat in front him, the picture of sweetness and loveliness all he wanted was to consume himself in you. “Thinking of you” He answered distracted by ideas of pulling your hair, watching your mouth open in a gasp, body shaking with pleasure.
Maybe spring didn’t have to be so annoying...
“Well I’m here now, you should’ve just said so” You liked how concentrated he seemed, fascinated with your hair or with caressing your cheek. You also didn’t mind that he was barely dressed, all strong legs and thin waist for display. You wondered just how badly he was fighting to not make his arousal so evident.
Then his hand retreated and he got down on both knees. His hands rested on your knees and you swore his pupils were blown out already, you pressed your legs tightly together.
“I can smell it, don’t hide it”
That sentence shook you. Your face flushed at his words but it only served for another shot of heat to pool beneath you. Mikey seemed so different, that cheery flirtatious nature of his wasn’t all quite there and you couldn’t help but wonder what lay in store for you.
He hooked his fingers in your shorts and pulled them down slowly, his excited energy was there but more zeroed in on the task at hand. You let him take them off for you, soon your underwear as well, his firm but gentle hand nudged you backwards. You laid down, breathing anticipation and exhaling desire when you felt those strong hands of his spread you.
“You smell so fucking good” Any and all rational thought had exited. All he wanted was to taste you, fuck you and claim you as his. He bit the inside of your thigh, enjoying the muscle tremble. When you felt a string of spit on your core and that wet warm tongue flick up your slit, you bit down on your lip. Mikey was never controlled, especially in this activity, he went at it like it was his last meal. But this honed in method left you shakey and needy.
He wanted you shakey and needy.
Thus he did the same, licking and sucking slowly, calculatedly. You looked down, his meticulous attacks making you squeeze your legs against his head. That brought a lengthy groan out of him, his hands gripped your thighs more and his movements picked up a little more in forcefulness. Soon enough he had you teetering on the precipice, close and closer and each second you swore he’d give it he took it back. You whined frustratedly, hand smacking down on the bed. Your heated gaze found Mikey’s, mouth wet with your essence, pupils still so blown you could barely make out his baby blues. He sucked a finger into his mouth and found your opening, your eyes rolled back into your head.
“You’re so damn wet, like you always get this wet whenever I eat you out” He was knuckle deep, making you crossed eyed as he found your spot and thrusted. “I wish you could feel what I feel when I slide into this pussy” He angled his finger, loving how you bit down hard to muffle a moan. His thumb found your clit and you nearly sobbed. “Fuck you’re so good, you’re all mine aren’t you? This...” He made a come hither motion with said digit. “This all mine?” He asked, rubbing slow circles on your clit.
You nodded vigorously, anything for him to just apply a little more pleasure to hit that spot with just a little more force.
Then Mikey was pulling out his finger and sucking the digit clean.
Yet another frustrated sound left you and you swore he smirked. When he got up, you bit your lip. He was fully hard, leaking and staining the front of his underwear. Good, served him right for the torturing. You made do of your shirt, not missing the hungry look when he saw you were bare beneath the shirt. Opting for some retaliation you fondled them, pinching and kneading. Mikey’s eyes followed them as he kicked off his underwear.
When he gripped your waist you figured he was going to climb on you.
You didn’t expect him to quite literally turn you around and manuveour you onto all fours.
This wasn’t an usual pose for Mikey, it’s not to say he didn’t indulge in it but he preferred to watch you ride him or to be so sweetly spooned against you. This felt, primal. He still seemed unsatisfied that he couldn’t watch you, so he improvised.
Once again wrapping an strong forearm around your waist he took you towards a small dresser that had a mirror. Your wide eyes were comical at this point, this was so unlike him and yet you found yourself so insanely turned on by it. He nudged your legs apart with his foot, hand on your lower back he guided himself in with his other.
That initial burn would never stop being your favorite and Mikey had full view of your eyes leaving their sockets. That gravely churr startled you, his usually didnt run that deep more along the lines of a pleasant purr. You clenched around him and his mouth hung open. That very sensation was something he could dream about awake. He had that feeling committed to memory, often times trying to replicate it with his hand whenever he missed you.
“Jesus fucking hell, Mike please move” You rested on your forearms, trying to move back against him but he held a firm hand on your lower back denying it. He remained quiet, you whined. “Please babe, please I want it so bad” Your eyes drifted to the mirror catchi. Mikey’s heated gaze and grin, he was definitely eating this display up.
He leaned over you, mouth close to your ear. “If... if I start I’m gonna keep going until you’re filled up with my cum” He tested his words by starting to move, hands gripping your waist tightly. The relief that washed over you was immediate, this angle was always a weak point for you so you knew lasting would be difficult.
Then Mikey slammed into you with enough force to rattle the dresser and it’s contents. Your mouth opened in a silent gasp, you watched how consumed he was feeling you. “Oh fuck Mikey, that’s so good” You felt him pulse inside of you, always one for praises this one.
“You’re gonna take it for me? Mhm?” He thrusted hard, demanding. You threw your head back, a blissed out grin breaking out on your face. “God yes, all of it baby, fill me up” You moaned, more so when he wrapped his arm across you chest and held you against his hard plastron. “Yes you are, you’re gonna take it all, every last drop” He shoved his finger into your mouth, pace quickening, churring nonestop.
He continued his words, each one making you hotter, the two of you were going to be a blushing mess after this. “Gonna fill you up, knock you up” He grunted against your ear, the angle was slightly uncomfortable but you were too lost in the lust to bother. You nodded trying to say ‘yes yes yes’ with his thick digit in your mouth.
Mikey felt you tighten so suffocatingly hard that you bit down pretty hard on his finger. He took it out just as you started to scream with your pent up release. “That’s my giiiirl” He groaned against you, slamming two more times before spilling himself in you. It felt never ending, each spurt deep within, Mikey’s short hard thrust making you slump forward in his arms. “Fu-uck Mike” Your voice shook, legs trembled as he emptied himself inside of you. He remained there, buried so far in, loving the mixture of his mess and yours.
Mikey bit down on your shoulder, hips starting to move again, his member twitching back to life. Your eyes shot open, watching him through the mirror. He kept you against him, this time by gripping both your breast.
His previous statement swam inside your foggy brain.
‘If I start, I’m not gonna stop...’
Spring was officially your favorite season.
#tmnt bayverse#tmnt mikey x reader#tmnt michelangelo x female reader#michelangelo tmnt#tmnt michelangelo x reader#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey#michelangelo x reader#mikey x reader#ns*w#ask#beetle bab#smut prompt
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